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#needed to say this because i saw fanart and had actual tears in my eyes
burningituphere · 1 year
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I just saw the Super Mario Bros movie
Here are my thoughts:
1. It makes me feel so proud to see how animation has improved over the years. The animation, lighting, visuals and such were so rich. The details of everything was just perfect. They didn’t have to go so hard, but they did. I could spend 5 hours gushing about the ray tracing or the textures or just how lovely everything is, and you wouldn’t be able to comprehend anything because I don’t even know anything about animation and I’d be too incoherent to be understood. I’ve spent 30 minutes typing and re-typing what I’ve wanted to say, when all I can really say about the animation is: JSGJFHGDJGJFGUKBFGJDFJGH.
2. Jack Black killed it as Bowser as usual. Anya, I’m so sorry for underestimating your voice acting, it was pretty good. Chris Pratt... the voice was a bit jarring and cringy at the start, but I got over it pretty quickly. He’s not bad, but he’s not amazing either. He did his job pretty ok.
3. I really liked Mario and Luigi’s relationship. I just thought it was so wholesome!! As cheesy as that whole “Nothing can hurt us as long as we’re together” was, I teared up at it. I don’t know, but it just really got to me. (Also that Spirited Away recreation?? Niceee) I just think it’s adorable 🥺
4. I was expecting to not like Princess Peach, but they did her character justice I think! They didn’t do that whole “See, I’m a woman but I can also fight and have a personality!!1!11 “, she actually was a brave, self-assured and strong character. The way she did that all in heels was so iconic of her. She was just so ugh 😍. I just admire her so much. If I were a little girl and I saw her, I’d feel so empowered tbh. She is an icon, she is a legend, she is the moment. I’m going to find Princess Peach movie edits and fanart after this. 
5. When I first saw Peach and Mario interact, I audibly groaned. I was sick of the usual “male character meets female character and they fall in love!!” Imagine my surprise when they completely subverted that trope. I’m so happy they didn’t force them together, and they actually got along really well. It warms my heart to see platonic portrayals like them. If anything, their natural chemistry made me ship them a little. Mario and Peach friendship ftw!!
6. When Bowser started monologuing to the camera, I remember thinking, “How long until people make Bowser x Y/N pov edits?” Also while Bowser doing those puppy dog eyes, I could practically see people make the Bowser babygirl edits.
7. I went in expecting Bowluigi and I got nothing?? So disappointed. There was no tension, there was no chemistry, nothing. Just Luigi cowering while Bowser roars at him for a few minutes. I want my money back smh my head
8. I think for the most part they incorporated the game mechanics and aspects pretty well. Though I’m not actually a fan of the series so what do I know. That one scene at the beginning, when the brothers are running through Brooklyn, the camera was positioned in such a way that it appeared as a 2D platform perspective, I thought that was really clever. I am a simple person and I liked all the easter eggs and references.
9. Music was pretty good!! Of course they had the game themes, which wore off soon but it wasn’t grating. I liked that part where they discovered the pipe in the sewage system, and you could hear the underground/water theme for a bar. I just really like musical motifs ok. I might listen to the soundtrack again. I wasn’t really feeling the insertion of I Need A Hero or Take On Me or the Habanera, but I enjoyed listening to the songs.
10. I was expecting this movie to be a shameless cash grab, and in a way it probably was. But it was an entertaining, enjoyable cash grab. Movies don’t have to be so revolutionary and so “OH MY GOD GUYS YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS, THIS IS LITERALLY THE WORK OF THE CENTURY!!!” like The Last Wish. It’s great to be blown away by movies that leave you raving and frothing at the mouth, but sometimes it’s nice to kick back and watch an entertaining movie with dumb jokes you can chuckle at. If you wanted a masterpiece that would blow you away, you’d be sorely disappointed. If you want a moderately amusing and entertaining film, it’s the perfect film for you.
That’s all I really have to say! Overall, this movie is hovering between a 6 and 7 at 6.5/10. It’s cheesy and cliched but also entertaining. Go watch it if you want a fun time.
(I wanted to write like 5 more paragraphs pointing out things I didn’t like about the movie, but honestly I’m tired and hungry, and I didn’t think it was fair to nit-pick a few details and give off the wrong impression about this movie. God knows how well people can misinterpret things here! Or who knows, I just have problems coping with the fact that because something is basic or has flaws doesn’t mean it’s awful and it shouldn’t be graced by the light of day. I’ve said enough lol bye)
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majunju · 2 years
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OMG I saw others posting about how they originally found your art and I just needed to take this opportunity to shout and cry about how I actually first saw your art through your A3! ItaIzu fanart on another SNS and then randomly found you on Tumblr much later through your other art (and also realized you were actually the ItaIzu artist)! I feel shy and awkward saying this but since I’m already here LOL… I just want to say that I particular love your ItaIzu classmates AU so much and I still think about it a lot!! 😭 It was actually part of what inspired me to start writing A3! fanfic because it got my creative juices flowing!! Funny enough I actually had an ItaIzu fic outlined that was directly inspired by your AU but it languished as a WIP 🙃 (I really want to revive it one day though). Anyway, thank you for your amazing art! I’m so thankful I follow many of the fandoms you draw for because your art is such a joy to see and always makes me smile!!
AHHHHH PLEASEEEE UR GNA MAKE ME CRY ;_; (tears in my eyes) my itaizu classmates au is probably one of my favourite aus i've made so far bc theyre honestly such a cute lil ship and their dynamic is adorable...
i'm so flattered to have inspired you to write a3 fics (i've read a few, i rly love them!!!!) and i hope that one day you'll post ur classmates fic bc i will b the first reader i swear .!!!!! THANK U SO MUCH AGAIN FOR THIS WONDERFUL ASK UR SO SWEET AHHH (sending kisses)
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ivarismaybecrazy · 1 year
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Right, now that I’m more awake and not crying from the finale...
LET’S GO OVER MY FAAAAVVOORITE PARTS OF WATCHING AND DREAMING!! Beware of spoilers if ya haven’t watched it!
First, the little premiere/teaser thingy before watching and dreaming started. I tried not to cry during that, I wanted to save my tears for the actual finale. “...For one final flight home.” I had to clutch my heart, it hurt so much!! From happiness, don’t worry.
Unfortunately, that happiness immediately turned into “what the fuck” as soon as Watching and Dreaming started. I didn’t realize we were doing the whole “Luz gets Belos’s outift” so soon! But the line Amity said was beautifully executed. “What do you do when you wake up from a bad dream?” “You turn on the light.” GAAAAAHHH I LOVE THAT!!
COLLECTER!!!! THEY JUST WANT TO HAVE FUN!!! And oh my GOD, they don’t know what death is. aaaahhhhhhh, THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT DEATH IS!!! (also them giving dragon belos a hug and trying kindness and forgiveness, omg theyre so cute my god-)
Well, they learned what it was preeeettty quickly! Me and my friends who I watched it with made guesses on who was gonna die in the finale. One said I was gonna die as a joke, then stuck with it. (They were right, the finale killed me lol) My other friend said King. I said Luz because it’s such an MC thing to die in the last episode. 
I’ll be honest. I believed more that King was gonna die. So Luz dying? To Dragon Belos’s corruption flame? Oh my god. And the way Luz just said “I think we’re gonna be separated again.” with such a broken and trembling voice... oh my god. I shed Tear 1 there. What really broke me was seeing King and Eda go feral and The Collector just snapping their fingers, trying to “fix” Luz.... oh my god.
KING’S TITAN DAD IS GENDERFLUID. EVERYONE. THIS IS NOT A DRILL. KING’S DAD. THE OG TITAN. IS GENDERFLUID. WE ARE WINNING!!!!
Uhm. Titan Luz. Slay. Slay. Slay. I know we are all still broken over the owl house ending, but can we cope by talking about TITAN LUZ!?!?!???!!! She’s so fluffy!! And and and she acts like Eda!!! and and she’s so badass??? and AMITY NEEDS TO SEE HER RIGHT NOW OH MY GOD- 
I love that King, Eda, and Luz all went to just about outer space, looked down and said “Wow.” Like, you’re in the home stretch of the biggest battle of your lives and you’re enjoying the view. That’s such a found family thing to do, oh my gosh.
Belos really tried to gaslight Luz. He really thought. HE REAAAALLLLYY THOUGHT. BITCH STFU AND DIE. Thank you to Raine (MVP OF THE SERIES!!!! NO JOKE!!!!), Eda, and King for curb stomping him. 
Everyone’s future designs looked so. fucking. incredible!!! I saw other pointing this out but I’ll also say it. LUZ AND HER FRIENDS GOT FLAPJACK TATOOS!!!! They’re so cute!! Also Luz is in her emo phase, she had black eyeliner under her eyes. Vee looks adorable aaahhhhhhhhh!! GUS WITH THE DREDS OKAYYYY!!! King is a teen now guys! Eda became headmaster of the wild magic academy and has a hook to replace her arm. Amity looks like a very very succesful young lady, very proud of her. Willow and Hunter are still stumbling around with each other it seems, but that’s okay!! We love them!!
And to top it all off. Everyone (well, just about everyone) turned the camera, waved, and said “BYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!”
I missed several things here, but this was a summary of my favorite parts (all of it) of Watching and Dreaming, the FINAL EPISODE of The Owl House. It doesn’t feel like it’s over. It’s gonna hit me later today and I’m going to start crying. But it’s okay. I’ll have fanart and fanfics and other fanworks to remember this incredible show by.
So uh. In case it wasn’t clear in my “Thank you” post. THANK YOU, FANS!!! WE ARE ALL AMAZING AND DON’T YOU EVER FORGET IT!!!
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I love all the people who make fanart so much... You really take your time to create something new and unique from something that already exists.... and you share it with us to enjoy.... (for free!) and you always add something new, you expand the narrative and give the characters new dimensions... I’m always so HAPPY when I see fanart and I just wanna say thank you and I hope you know that you make me and a lot of other people very emotional. I love you all <3
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sixeyesgojo · 3 years
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kiss it better
Summary: You had a shitty day at the store. Gojo is here to comfort you <3
Characters: Gojo x Reader
Word count: 1100
A/N: The past few weeks have been super rough - personal matters and on top of that, natural disasters + "I could lose my closest friends thanks to this" type of rough - so I wrote this pretty self-indulgently because I seriously need to be comforted lol. But that doesn't mean you can't imagine yourself in it!! The fanart is fem reader but I don't think I indicated any gender in the fic. Shoutout to the folks who work with customers, you guys are doing an amazing job! Thank you.
This entire fic was inspired by the art by the amazing @yuusagi-chii that I commissioned; check out her blog and leave a reblog on her artworks!! ♥ - posted with permission from the artist
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There had been nothing to do. The whole time, Satoru was just lazing on the couch, legs stretched out on the entire thing, and waiting for you to come home as the television showed nothing but garbage.
As soon as they perceived the sound of your dangling keys in front of the door, Satoru’s ears perked up. He had been so bored all day, not knowing what to do on his free day; he was used to being busy all day, every day, around the clock. The lethargy got to the extent where he cleaned every nook and cranny in your shared home, did all the laundry for the week, reorganized the cupboard where his treasures were stored and even took a nap. Originally, he had planned to kidnap you to go on a date with him but unfortunately, your workplace said otherwise, wrecking his not-so-planned-out plan. Admittedly, it did piss him off a little but there was nothing to be done. Satoru just missed you incredibly much since he was usually gone for most days.
Your heavy footsteps that came from the entrance hall, the way your keys seemed to make louder noise than usual and the soft sigh he could hear all indicated that you had a shitty day so far. It really wasn’t rocket science for Satoru to notice little things about you. Probably entitled customers again, he thought. Satoru was well aware that working in a customer-oriented branch had to be unrewarding, draining even. Still, he wanted to tantalize you a bit, to lighten the mood and ease his boredom a little – he would do that on normal days.
However, ‘normal’ was quickly discarded when he saw your face: a hefty scowl and… were those teary eyes? His previous demeanor immediately dropped and a serious one took over. This was definitely not okay.
Satoru had noticed the last few weeks had been a little rough on you. On normal days, teasing you was his favorite thing to do and quite frankly, it was enjoyable to you as well as it lifted your mood after a stressful shift… but today must have been the tipping point and he knew better than to tease you in times like these. The last thing he wanted to be was the cause of your tears.
“Had a rough day?” Satoru asked as he met you in the hallway, wasting no time to slip his arms around your body. Crushing into his chest, you simply nodded without looking at him. You feared that if you did, tears would fall and you would no longer be in control of your emotions. The entire time you spent at work had been filled with some particularly grumpy customers you had to tend to. You had to deal with utterly disrespectful behavior towards you. Yet, you had to stay friendly and polite when, throughout the day, there had been several instances that made you want to quit your job right then and there.
Today had been terrible, so being in the amenity of your home felt uncommonly relieving. In addition to that, being in the comforting space of Satoru’s gentle hug washed off your exhaustion. It was fine to bask in the solace of his embrace for a moment, wasn’t it? Was it okay for you to give in a little and enjoy the moment for all its worth?
“Do you want to talk about it?” “Just the usual trouble but way worse for some reason,” you mumbled into his chest, just loud enough for him to hear. “Tell me about it, baby. It’s better if you get it off of your chest as soon as possible.”
You breathed out, the emotional dam you’ve built today finally breaking, “It’s just… people suck… They s-snap at me for the smallest things… and I know some of those incidents are just part of the job – I really get it a-and I try so hard to stay polite but… it’s just… very hard.”
Throughout your ramblings – how a customer had yelled at you for a minor mistake, how another one treated you like something lesser because of something that was not your mistake, how people would insist on being right and more – he listened intently to each and every word… All the while, Satoru had gently stroked your back with his palm to calm you down. “Say, Toru…there must be something wrong with me for them… to treat me like this, isn’t there?” you finally asked. “No, honey. You are perfectly fine,” he said, suppressing how pissed he actually was at the people who dared treating you badly. “Their attitude just sucks and they don’t deserve being served by someone beautiful like you. Maybe I should give them a piece of my mind some day…” “I just— I don’t even know. People are so mean… and for w-what? Is kindness in this world really that hard to find?” you lamented, choking back a sob as you buried your face deeper into him.
“Can I help you feel better in any way? Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?” Satoru asked sweetly but the frown on his face made his worry very evident. He didn’t like it at all whenever you came back emotionally drained like this. All Satoru wanted to do was to go and ‘teach them a well-deserved lesson’ but he knew well that it would be against your wishes, so he had no choice but to sit back and be there for you when you needed him the most.
“Let me pamper and spoil my angel for today, hm?” he whispered affectionately, pressing kisses to the top of your head. Finally, you raised your head to look at him. The teary stains on your cheeks and sad expression broke his heart and he swore you could hear it cracking in his ribcage. “I just want you to hold me right now, wanna feel you close to me and nothing more,” you admitted and slung your arms around him tightly.
Promptly taking the chance, Satoru placed a sweet and loving kiss on your forehead. The sensation of his lips on your skin eased a big part of your discomfort away, making you sigh in comfort for the first time in what felt like decades. The effect this man had on you was inexplicable; the way he had the power to make you feel better by simply being there was truly magical. It made your heart flutter in a thousand ways and more.
“Then I’ll have no choice but to kiss it better.”
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Taglist (open): @satosuguslut @assbuttbaek @melonnbar @delammi @silversatoru @princesatoru
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lucifers-lotus · 3 years
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How the Four Lords React to Being Thirsted Over
(this is gonna be a little meta/fourth wall break, if this has been done before I am sorry, i thought this would be poggers)
It was Daniela's idea to get each of the Lords a phone. Cassandra thought it would be a horrible idea, but Bela encouraged it thinking it would be incessantly funny.
Dimitrescu: Let me say this first; the phone is too small. The girls had to get her the biggest model of touch screen (a tablet, alcina is a ipad kid now lmao), and it was phone size for her. Alcina has to squint in order to see it properly. Bela messaged her a link, which was a thread of people thirsting over Alcina. (The time it took for her mother to find where the messages were, and how to place her index finger onto the tiny blue link was unspeakably long.) When she finally clicked on the link, she was nearly horrified. All three girls came downstairs when Bela told the other two, and they hid behind a giant pillar. Alcina sat in her white, floral patterned love-seat, her phone in one hand and her tea cup half full of Sanguis Virginis. Her brow was furrowed as she stared at the rectangular glowing object in her hand. "They want to what my what?? These people are dastardly! I bet they are all men too! I'd have half the mind not to hunt them all down and cut them from stomach to throat! Those vile-" She growled under her breath, until Cassandra popping out from behind the wall caught her eye. "Actually, Mother... a good portion of them are women..." Cassandra corrected in hopes of calming her mothers angry flames. Alcina seemed to relax a little in her seat, taking a sip of her wine and taking a deep breath. "Then those people have good taste, if they like me, just not those disgusting men and their foul words," Bela and Daniela followed behind Cassandra like a row of baby ducks, standing on either side of her. "That's not even the bad part... you should see Ethan and the fly swatter..." Bela snickered, covering her mouth to stifle her quiet giggles, and in response Cassandra gave her a hard elbow in the rib. "I know where you sleep!" Bela playfully whispered in as a warning to Cassandra. Alcina rose to her height fully in her seat, obviously not calm anymore. Her eyes were wide and wild when they stared down at the three girls.
"What?!"
Moreau: Sal has accounts on everything, when he got used to having a phone. He couldn't get Hulu or Netflix because you had to pay for it. (This resulted in a call to the girls, he thought his phone was broken when he had to pay for the subscription services) He just watches conspiracy theories and free romantic movies Youtube. So, the three invite Moreau for a tea party at their castle, to show him how to use his phone. To their surprise, he already has accounts on nearly everything. He just needed to know how to use them more in depth. The girls crowded around him, showing him how to use Tumblr first. "See? This is fan-art... it is what fans make of you to show they appreciate or like you! Pretty cool huh?" Bela pointed to the screen once they got to the search his name. Hundreds of different things came up such as fan-art, fan-fictions, headcanons, 'x readers', and more. As Salvatore's eyes scanned the screen, he sighed happily. "There... are that many people out there that like me?" The girls patted him on the back when he began to cry reading all of the kind things that people had wrote to him. "I want to give them all a hug," He wailed, wiping his tears with both hands. The phone sat on the table, and the girls looked at each other. They felt bad, not wanting to get the phone to make Sal cry. Cassandra rolled her eyes at the other girls when she noticed they looked unsure. "It's alright, I am sure you will be able to," Cassandra rubbed his back soothingly. Moreau threw his arms around her, the thought overwhelming him and eventually starting to sob worse than before. (He appreciates the fan-made stuff, lets just say :])
Heisenberg: The girls would've thrown a tea party for Heisenberg, even willing to make their poor uncle-figure need to dress up but... Alcina hated the idea of Karl coming over to the castle. So she reluctantly allowed the girls over to his factory. Bela, Daniela and Cassandra sat on one side of the rusty table and Karl sat on the other with his booted-feet up. The girls went through his phone, downloading different popular apps they wouldn't think he'd use. They taught him how to use them, and left for their castle for the night. Later that night, the man stared at the glass screen while smoking a cigar. He opened the lock-screen, went onto Tumblr, and searched his name. Big mistake... He sat back into his chair, blowing curls of gray smoke into the air. He chuckled at a couple of comments that people had left under some goofy fan-art... and that's when he saw it. He had nearly dropped his cigar when he saw a thread of fan-art of him shirtless. "They made me so hot..." He looked down at his stomach, and back at the fan-art which displayed a 6-pack. "They are so generous for giving me a fucking 6-pack... damn I got to work on this," (say it with me, Karl. has. a. dad. bod. THANK YOU.) He scrolled, seeing a few more pieces of fan-art of him shirtless but them he saw numerous NSFW fan-fictions about himself. Karl gasped, putting his cigar down and clicking the 'read more,' option. Soon it was midnight. And he had read so... so many fan-fictions about himself... His eyes were red and he had eye-bags under them. "Jesus Christ these people are fucking freaks," (this is a compliment i promise)
Beneviento: Donna is very confused at first at the concept of a phone and is the Lord that takes the longest to get the hang of it, but when she sees people calling her portrait (yes portrait instead of picture she calls it) beautiful she is instantly like ":o". She is very flustered, but goes through every single fan-fic, headcanon, and piece of fan-art that is under her name. She enjoys every bit of it. Cassandra, Bela and Daniela were very surprised when Donna told them she went through every bit of fanart, because it was nearly impossible. But Donna ate it up, feeling quite flattered and joyous. Angie did too, and after Donna showed her the fan-art about her, she was a giggling mess! Donna never expected to be called such positive names, and almost didn't believe it at first. Angie and the three girls reassured Donna though, and she eventually came around to use her phone. She eventually became dependant on it.
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momotimethief · 2 years
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— Pumpkin —
A/n: super self indulgent drabble that I needed bc my feelings were invalidated after I managed to get a lot done this week despite my not so stellar mental health issues.
Summary: Gender Neutral!Reader is very upset with their feelings being hurt deeply and Izana calms them down.Basically zana being the loml. Song Inspo: Pumpkin by The Regrettes
⚠️⛔️ Warning ⛔️⚠️ : reader has mental health struggles and is invalidated by someone close to them! I believe this may be triggering for those sensitive to the topic of anxiety and / or depression. Not really explicit but there is a small bit that may seem like reader coming down from a panic attack. Please proceed with caution as I don’t want to upset anyone! 💜💜
Based on these panels and this fanart: NOT MINE ALL CREDIT TO ORIGINAL ARTISTS!!
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“Baby, is that you? I had a quick question about what time we- hey,” Izana trailed off as he caught sight of your tensed and overwhelmed figure, “Honey? I’m here. I’m right here.” He sits down beside you, putting a hand to your leg lightly. “Can I hold you? Is that okay?” You nod a bit at his calming whispers and he cradles you to his chest. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, promise. Let it out, my love.” You wrap your arms tighter around the blonde, burying teary eyes in his shoulder.
“This week sucked. My dad made me feel shitty after I talked about all the work I got done this week because he had more work to do. He said that none of my problems were shit and I just keep making up excuses so I don’t feel bad about doing almost nothing. As if I’m not trying my best, you know?! I get that I’m not always doing as much as I can or should, but I get what I need to do done!”
“This week sucked. My dad made me feel shitty after I talked about all the work I got done this week because he had more work to do. He said that none of my problems were shit and I just keep making up excuses so I don’t feel bad about doing almost nothing. As if I’m not trying my best, you know?! I get that I’m not always doing as much as I can or should, but I get what I need to do done!”
Your rant was laced with trembles, cracks, and hiccups that brought a deep anger to Izana’s heart. He ran one hand over your spine in small patterns while the other smoothed tears from your cheeks as you loosed the pressure from your chest. “It’s just hard. I did so good this week and I just wanted to get through it without doubting myself, then he has so open his mouth.” Izana pulled you a bit closer when you harshly rubbed your sleeves over your cheeks.
“Can you do me a favor, my love? I want you to close your eyes and take a deep breath with me, okay? And I just want you to listen to me. Can you do that for me?” You nod gently, eyes falling shut as you fill your lungs. His hand takes yours and places it to his chest, directly over his heart. You feel his deep inhales, the slow exhales. You smell his cologne, the silvery glass bottle that’s somehow always half empty. Feel the softness of the hoodie you had finally returned the other day, angry that it had begun to smell only of you.
“You’re okay now. I swear to you. If you need me to I’ll keep you here forever and we’ll never leave. Kakucho can be the person we send for groceries and takeout, so he’ll be allowed to stay sometimes of course.” You laugh a bit at his pondering of your isolated life. “He’d be so mad at being our errand boy like that.” Izana’s hand gripped your thigh for stability, laughing and moving back against the plush couch. “Nah. He’d be okay with it. We’d kick him out less and we’d actually be able to do movie nights like we keep cancelling.”
Your eyes open again, meeting his soft ones. They held so much love and raw emotion, at first it terrified you. Worrying that you would take that away from him and hurt him badly, you distanced yourself. Needless to say, your clingy boyfriend was quick to rid you of that idea. Now when you saw that deep love, you felt it ripple around you like waves. They drew you in at a contradictory pace, seeming so slow but you look back and suddenly you can’t see dry land on the horizon. The love was all encompassing, at no moment were you too much or too little; always the person he loved you to be, your authentically complex self. No matter how drop into your thoughts you found yourself, he pulled you out and made you fall in love as simple as replaying an old favorite song.
“Zana.” You stated as your eyes stayed trained on the kind orbs gazing back. “Yes, Y/n?” He kept the hand at your spine moving the whole time while you conversed, only moving in slow and calm motions. “Dance with me?” The man in front of you smiled brightly, agreeing as he set you to your feet. He tugged you to the kitchen, setting a song to play, one fairly more upbeat than what you’d initially expect.
The smile on his face made his eyes brighter, the apples of his cheeks were tinged with a warm reddish glow as his hands settled in the dip of your lower back. Your fingers played at his long hairs escaped from the hair and he’d done it all up with when he’d gotten home. He gave a slight twirl after a bit of swaying, pulling you back to rest his nose and forehead to yours. “You’re my world. I love you, Y/n. I’ll always be here to bring you back from your thoughts. Just promise me you’ll always talk to me, hm?” You pulled him closer and allowed your lips to caress his own. “I promise, Zana. I love you too.”
When the song came to an end, he pulled you to the bed, gently brushing and doing your hair. The two of you cuddled close together, problems forgotten for the moment. The only thoughts in your mind were of Izana and the love you had for him. He held you to his chest and massaged the back of your neck while you began to drift off, humming and mumbling his love for you as his own sleepiness overtook him.
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lydias--stiles · 3 years
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because your kiss is on my list
alternatively: four times juke snuck up on each other for affection and the one time they didn’t have to | based on the achingly beautiful fanart by @lovelyrugbee
1. 
Luke was being manic again. And not in a cute: “Oh my God, he’s so passionate about music!”-way, but in a: “He might actually tear his eyes out from these infuriating lyrics that aren’t working”-way. Every once in a while, songs didn’t flow out as easily as they usually did. The topic was a bit trickier, or the instrumentals didn’t mesh, or something was just off. Julie wasn’t too stressed about it. They had plenty of time to rework and fix things before the gig in two weeks. 
Unfortunately, Luke didn’t have the same mindset. 
He has been holed up in the studio all day, cramped on the windowsill to the point of submitting himself to a hernia and scrapping writing scrapping scrapping scrapping. The sound was infuriating, Alex being the first to poof out and Reggie following soon after when Ray became far more interesting than a guitarist going haywire. Which was sad, cause her dad was just unloading groceries. 
Alright. She had to do something. Standing at the doors of studio with a somewhat amused expression, she took in as her boyfriend was oblivious to the world and her. In any other situation, he’d notice and compliment the orange dress she was wearing. She thought about calling his name, maybe singing or jamming her fingers on the piano, but then a better idea came. A fun one.
Quietly slipping closer, a mischievous grin crawled on her lips. Thank God she was barefoot, or else her sneakers would’ve squeaked against the cement floors. He still hasn’t noticed her, the pinch between his brow so deep and lost in thought. 
Three, two, one... 
“Ah!”, she cried out like a warrior, snapping her arms around him from behind and snatching the damned songbook from his grasp. Before he could react, she smacked a wet kiss on his cheek and added a “Mwah!” for good measure. 
The startled Luke began chuckling, trying to get his book back, her peppering more kisses on his cheek in retaliation. He had to get out of this funk! Breathe a little! Turning his cheek to look at her, he smirked. “Sneaking kisses now, Jules?”
Julie hummed against his skin, eyes sparkling. Whispering in his ear, she said: “Stop breaking your head over these lyrics and relax. We have time.” 
His smile softened, gaze tracking the way she hugged him and then- “I like the dress you’re wearing.”
Ah, yes. There he was. 
2. 
Julie Molina truly made the afterlife less boring and a whole lot more bearable. Which became really apparent whenever she had an avalanche of homework and couldn’t hang out. Luke loved his boys, but damn did he miss his girlfriend a lot now. If the situation were different (you know, had he not been head over heels in love with her), he’d poof up to her room and annoy her until she came to the studio. Alas, he respected his girlfriend and her interest in getting good grades, so he had to deal with it. 
Bleh. “Dealing with it” was like a curse word to him. 
He hasn’t seen her all day though. She left early for school and didn’t pass by the studio when she got back. All he needed was a quick look and talk and maybe a hug and then he wouldn’t be so antsy. 
(What he’d give to wrestle her into cuddling right now. He was honestly blessed he found a girl who saw all of his need for affection and then gladly gave triple the amount.)
Yup. Screw homework. He had to see her. Without telling the boys, he stood up with a huff and poofed out. The offended “hey!” from Alex he ignored. 
Dropping into Julie’s room, a smile instantly bloomed on his face at the sight of her. She was on her bed, textbooks and notes splayed out in front of her while her curls danced with each breath she took. Even when tired, his girlfriend was pretty as hell. 
“Hey,” he grinned.
She didn’t look up and mumbled: “Hey.” A page turned. “What’re you doing here?”
Luke sat down on the edge of her bed, far enough so her pens wouldn’t roll away. “Haven’t seen you today. I missed you.”
This time she did look up, her weary eyes softening and smiling. “I missed you too. I have homework though, so...” The implication was there: please leave so I can finish. His hope for a hug quickly dwindled.
“Yeah,” he muttered, not ready to go back and get slapped by Alex. “Uh...” His eyes fell on her right hand, slightly more outstretched then the other. It just... laid there. Teasing him. Freaking tantalising him when he knew how good it felt whenever those fingers brushed his cheeks or raked his hair. 
It happened before he thought about it. Crawling onto the mattress, he snatched her hand and pressed soft kisses on the knuckles. Julie caught his gaze again, that smile he loved so much melting into an adoring puff - like she couldn’t believe this idiot was her boyfriend.
He didn’t mind being her idiot.  
3.
Sometimes, Julie was just that more adorable. Like now, with her hair spread around her shoulders and that small smile stuck on her lips and her eyes that seemed impossibly soft today. All for him, only for him. 
Sure, it was probably because they were working on one of their personal songs, but the fact remained that his girlfriend still left him rendered speechless months into dating.
“What if we try it in a lower key?”, Julie proposed, nodding at his guitar. 
The song in question was a song about them. It wasn’t so lovey-dovey that it would turn the guys off, but it was still blatant. Only they would write about ‘the sea glass green of his eyes’ and ‘the smile that put Mona Lisa to shame’. 
He did what she asked, her singing the same verse again. It held more depth now, soulful and lively. The rasp in her tone made it playful and egged him on to join, like it was truly banter between lovers put to music. It was them. It was her. It was-
Luke abruptly stopped playing, pushed his guitar aside and grabbed onto her. She hardly had time to chuckle as he pressed his lips onto her forehead and held her as tight as possible. Warmth filled his chest, that strange sensation of being loved and loving back twice as hard, as she clutched his body. He almost got choked up. Here he was, in the sundrenched studio with the girl he adored playing the music they created together and she was singing it in such a quintessentially ‘them’ way. No one but them would ever truly understand the magic they conjured. How it was only explained through grins melting on skin and the giddy skip in his heartbeat. 
“What’s that for?”, she smiled. 
His hand trailed from her back to her cheeks with an elated shrug. How could he explain to her her ‘Julie-ness’ was dialled up to two hundred without sounding insane? Caressing the skin, he murmured instead: “I guess you’re just irresistible today.”   
Her eyes squeezed shut at his words, like she was embarrassed how much delight it brought her, and pressed her face back in his shoulder. 
Letting that giddy skip in his chest kiss her again, he gently pulled away to sent her a wink. “Let’s finish ‘Wicked Love’, yeah?”
4.
“So, Flynn’s been thinking-”
“Mh-hm.”
“-about a new poster for the gig we’re playing. The old one is a little amateur and she made some new concepts. Wanna see?” Julie held her phone at his face, his hand leaving the strings of his guitar to gently push it back. Falling back on the bed, she frowned. 
“Maybe later, I’m figuring out this progression...” His back bend over his guitar again, only giving her a view of the black muscle tee. 
When Luke told her he wanted to hang out that Saturday afternoon, she had hoped it would be a bit more ‘Julie and Luke’ and not ‘Luke and His Guitar’ - alas, the girlfriend was competing with a piece of wood and some metal. While texting Flynn about graphic design was fun, it was time for Luke to start doing what he promised her.
Then again, she was a sucker for music talk. “Why don’t you try switching up the chords? Start with G instead of C.”
He tried it out, a grin crawling on his cheeks. “Yeah... yeah, that works. Thanks, Jules.”
“So?”, she sang. 
“Hm?”
With a sigh, she grabbed onto the strap of his guitar and gave it a tug. Luke’s neck rolled backwards in surprise, catching her playful smile.  
Chastely pecking his forehead, she said: “Your head is in the clouds.”
The teasing look of his matched hers. “You’re kissing my head right now.”
“Mh-hm,” she mumbled, loving the way his hair had that perpetual scent of apple and something inherently Luke. Kissing the locks, she added: “And you’ll be getting a lot more if you actually start hanging out with me.”
His book and instrument slid off his body just like that as he speared her into hug. Luke collapsed onto her body with the cutest grin and she knew she caught him. Their laughs chimed throughout the house for the rest of the day. 
+5.
Luke poofed onto her bed with a grin, his girlfriend automatically snuggling into his side and finding each other’s lips with ease. For a beat, they’re cherished the quiet passion shared between them. They didn’t need to do a lot to feel loved by the other. 
He pressed his nose into her curls. “How was school?”
“Good,” Julie whispered against his neck. “How was the studio?”
“Chill. Reggie scared a spider.”
She giggled, the sound making his grin widen and hide his face so she wouldn’t see how ridiculously giddy she made him. Turning her head so she’d see him anyway, her nose scrunched. “I know you’re smiling.”
“That’s my line, Molina,” he huffed, the teasing glint shimmering in his eyes. 
A signature brow quirked. “You got that on paper?”
He didn’t miss a second. “I love you.” He didn’t need to ponder or linger or rewrite or scrap or workshop the thought. It wasn’t even a thought. It was a truth and he’d repeat that truth over and over again until the universe knew it too and kept it in their books for centuries to come. He loved her, he loved her, he loved her. 
The smile that came was worth the truth, how her love for him broke through without a moment of hesitation. Now she’d say the same, over and over and over again, so the universe knew they were talking about each other and would always keep their names together in said books. 
Julie kissed him again, long and sweet and as easy as breathing. Her utters were barely audible, but his heart caught it. “I love you too.”
Locked in their embrace, they shared earphones listening to their favourite music until they fell asleep. (How Luke could fall asleep, but only when in her loving touch, he wouldn’t question. Some oddities of the universe were best unsaid.) 
@blush-and-books @unsaid-emily @bluefirewrites @willexx @ourstarscollided @alexjulies
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mello-jello · 3 years
Note
Hi Jello! Got a prompt for you (feel free to do a drabble/one-shot or a fanart for this): Levi and Hange playing tabletop games but Hange's too competitive so Levi lets them win once in a while even though he knows every strategy (hint, hint: would be nice if you could base this off on how you and your husband interact!) Enjoy!
Thank you for the prompt R.K! So... Here's some projection...
Hange crossed their arms and slumped backwards into the kitchen chair, pouting.
They lost again.
Levi sat across the table and calmly started collecting cards and pieces. "Good game," he says.
"Was it?" Hange asked, a little too bitterly.
Levi barely reacted to Hange's tone and replied, "Of course; I like playing with you."
Hange's eyebrow twitched as they fought the urge to flip the table. They were being childish and they knew it. It was just a game and they were just spending time with Levi, but something about the way he always won was infuriating.
He never took long to take his turns. It was like he never struggled with finding the right strategies or like Hange’s turns weren't challenging for him at all. They would try so hard to have good turns, really racking their brain as to how they could most benefit themselves while also being a hindrance to Levi.
The scores were almost never even close and no matter how much effort Hange put into a game, Levi expected everything Hange could think of and had a counter-move ready for it. After spending up to 15 minutes taking their turn, the most they ever got was a, "good move," and then Levi would effortlessly take the lead again.
It was maddening. He wasn't even trying!
"Do you want to play again?" Levi asks before closing the box.
Hange scoffed and stared at raindrops on the window. They were conflicted and somewhat embarrassed that they felt this way.
"Well? Or we can try a different game?"
Hange sighed, putting their thumb and index finger on the bridge of their nose, not giving a real answer. They both did and did not want to play again. On one hand, Levi was their most favourite person in the whole world and they wanted to participate in his hobbies. On the other hand, Hange knew their salty attitude was taking over. It would be really nice to win once in a while. Or even feel like they had a fighting chance.
Levi and Moblit were into intense tabletop games. Games that took 8-9 hours to complete, like Twilight Imperium. Nine hours is way too long! For the lighter games, there were monthly board game nights with Erwin, Mike, Nifa, Moblit, Eld, and Petra. Hange was always invited and welcomed, but they were often miserable. Turns out, a lot of board gaming involves keeping track of numbers, which did not appeal to them as a relaxing activity.
Hange uses their brain all day at work and when they get home most days, they just want to relax with a book or Netflix.
Why couldn't Hange be more like Petra? She wasn't especially skilled, but she was gracious and was always down to play whatever the group suggested, and seemed to genuinely enjoy herself.
Levi pulled out his favourite game: Sakura Arms. He held the box up with a pleading face. Hange's chest felt heavy. Oh fuck, not that one. It was so complicated! First you have to pick your characters that somehow have to complement each other’s stats, then build a deck with synergy, and then battle Levi, who has played this game countless times with numerous opponents that were all better than Hange.
The last time they played, Hange conceded early and said, "I think I made a terrible deck and there's no way I can win from here".
"Okay, let me see".
Levi took a look at Hange's hand and said something along the lines of, "No, this isn't terrible. You could do this, this, or this, oh and that is an option too. You'll want to play around the card I obviously have in my hand, so that stops you from using this, but you could have survived a few more turns".
Hange stared at him, dumbfounded. "Obviously?"
"Yeah, you know I have it because I used it two turns ago, but I used this card to reshuffle my discard pile on my last turn."
They continued staring. How the hell does he keep track of all that? Hange was smart, right? This is just a silly game that's supposed to fun, what the fuck?
So when they saw the box in his hands, and the eager look in his eyes, Hange couldn't help it; they felt the tears coming. Stupid, childish tears, betraying them. It was ridiculous to cry over this. Although they suppose crying is better than raging.
"What's wrong?"
Hange sniffed. “I’m sorry, I'm such a big baby".
Just play the stupid game with your husband, they mentally scold themself. They love Levi with all their heart, so why was this so exhausting? It’s not like he ever asks them for anything. He cooks, cleans, does the laundry, and also has a job of his own and he never complains. Why couldn’t Hange just pretend for his sake?
Levi put the game down. He walked to the other side of the table and wrapped his arms around Hange’s shoulders, and gave them a quick peck on the cheek.
"You don’t have to play if you don’t want to. And you're my big baby, and I love you anyways". He gives them a reassuring squeeze.
Hange scoffed again, looking at the ceiling to keep more tears from spilling over. Great, now he was being sweet and Hange felt guilty. What did they ever do to deserve this man?
“That’s the thing: I do want to. At least I want to want to,” they explained and Levi tentatively listened while returning to his seat. “I just… it feels shitty to always lose. I feel so stupid. But I know you’re not going to let up on me”.
Levi gave a knowing look. "Hange, you don't actually want me to let you win. That would be an insult to your intelligence. When you do finally beat me, it's going to be because you deserve it".
Hange smiled on one side. He was right. It would be patronizing if he just let them win. And it wouldn't be rewarding either, knowing he was going easy on them. “Okay, but be honest: is it actually fun for you to play against me? Doesn’t it feel like you’re playing with a toddler?”
Levi snorted. “Give yourself some damn credit, Four-Eyes! You’re only stupid for thinking you’re stupid”. He crossed his arms, genuinely offended at the notion of Hange being self-conscious.
“Wouldn’t you rather play with someone more challenging? Like Moblit?”
“I didn’t marry Moblit”.
“That’s a shame,” they said sarcastically, already feeling better. Levi gently kicked them under the table.
“But, it really is fine if you don’t want to play, I appreciate you trying though. As it turns out, I just like hanging out with you.” Levi was serious again, but Hange was back to their bubbly self and felt like being a little shit.
“You know, I’d be okay with Moblit being your board game side-hoe. He can satisfy all of your needs,” they wiggled their eyebrows at him.
Levi scowled and said, “Yeah, there are a few needs of mine I am certain Moblit can’t help with”.
“Hoo HOOO there’s an image!”
“Ugh, can you not?”
“The two of you, huddled in a dimly lit room, strategizing late at night, silence only fueling the sexual tensi-”
“Please stop,” Levi covered his face with his hand.
Hange giggled, satisfied with his bashful reaction.
“How about we watch something instead?” He offered. “There’s a new episode of “Assault on Gargantua” coming out on CrunchyRoll in 20 minutes. The horrors of that show are nothing compared to what you just put in my mind, so it’ll be a nice palette cleanser.”
Hange beamed. “I’ll get the popcorn!”
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alixofagnia · 3 years
Text
OpheThorn III: Back to Rambling
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The Memory of Babel…Wow.
If nothing else, this book GOES. We’re dropped onto Babel just as lost, bewildered, and determined as Ophelia to get to the bottom of this ark. Boy, was it worth the wait! Babel is exquisitely written and, incredible as it sounds, even more treacherous than the Pole. The backbone Ophelia shows in this book is awesome! I love that she’s taken the measure of her worth—all the things she’s been through and survived in the previous novels—and come out resilient As Fuck. This book is definitely a penultimate novel. Dazzling as it is, much of it feels like groundwork being laid for the finale.
OpheThorn is less nuanced and ambiguous in Babel. While I feel there’s less to analyze, I do really love this pairing and I like writing about their dynamic. So, I’m just going to put my thoughts down and see what comes up!
[There will be spoilers]
[All fanart images credited to @patricialyfoung​]
Intro
One of the things that drew me into The Mirror Visitor series is the relationship between Ophelia and Thorn. Theirs is not a traditional love story at all; in fact, it avoids clichés and instead plays about with two romantic tropes: enemies to lovers and marriage of convenience. The series spins these tropes anew by offering subtle signs of attraction (discussed here) and giving both characters antisocial tendencies, as well as—in Thorn’s case—possible ASD traits (discussed here).
When we left these two in Clairdelune, Thorn had just put his feelings on the table. Before she could give her response, however, they were separated under upsetting, even traumatic circumstances. Years later, we meet Ophelia again…
Ophelia
…and, oh dear, she is in a sorry state indeed. We find her disastrously operating a waffle stand during a kooky Animist festival for, of all things, clocks. Just what the girl pining for Thorn needs, right? All is not well with Ophelia. As Aunt Rosaline points out,
“No, you’re not fine. You don’t go out anymore, you eat any old thing, you sleep at any old time. You haven’t even been back to the museum.” [19]
Although her mother, sister, and to an extent Aunt Rosaline all believe Ophelia is wasting away, shutting herself in her room, she’s actually been quite busy. She’s been studying and developing working hypotheses about God and the Other: where they are, there she’ll find Thorn. She’s convinced of it. Working from obscure clues dropped in Clairdelune, Ophelia settles on Babel as the ark most likely to yield some answers, and when the chance to travel there appears, she wastes no time at all.
She. Is. Going.
Thorn
In Babel, Thorn has made a name for himself as Sir Henry, rising to become a Lord of LUX, the gatekeepers of Babel who serve a similar function to that of the Doyennes on Anima. He is commanding, magnetic, and aloof as ever. It is unsurprising to find that he has been playing close to the fire again. But the stress and tension of his investigative life on Babel is certainly heightened in a way that it wasn’t at the Pole. 
We also learn that his nickname in Babel is the Automaton due to his unceasing energy. Thorn, thus, has dealt with the separation by predictably burying himself in work.
The Reunion
To Ophelia’s disappointment, the reunion with Thorn does not go quite as she had envisioned, and that’s because she hadn’t really envisioned past the goal of finding him [203]. Ophelia is very much a character who takes things one at a time as she’s confronted by them. When Thorn seems less than pleased to see her, she must consider all these Troublesome Feelings and why his underwhelming reaction upsets her.
The thing is Ophelia is waiting for Thorn to take the lead. But he already did, and she didn’t follow—at least, not in a way that he could understand. As previously discussed, Thorn does not function well with non-verbal cues. He needs to be explicitly told how someone else feels, or how he is making someone else feel, in order to know when to adjust his behavior. That can be quite flustering, especially for someone like Ophelia who struggles to vocalize her feelings exactly as they are.
“Is that it?” Ophelia murmured. “You have nothing more to say to me?”
 “I have, actually,” Thorn muttered, not stopping all his connecting. […] “And you?” he finally asked, in turn. “You have nothing more to say to me?” [263]
She doesn’t. Thorn coldly dismisses her and continues to keep her at arm’s length, especially when he gives her a second chance to confess her feelings and she still refuses to take it. 
Ophelia has social anxiety. She’s not exactly shy, she just gets tongue-tied and befuddled sometimes. It’s part of her make-up, but it doesn’t just happen around Thorn—there are plenty of instances where she has trouble expressing herself to those she cares about, such as Ambrose and Blaise in this novel, or Fox in Clairdelune. She even struggles to express basic gratitude toward Aunt Rosaline in Promise. Unlike them, Thorn challenges her to uncomfortable levels. Her feelings for him are complex and utterly foreign; she has no idea what to do about them. 
Unfortunately, Thorn is fresh out of fucks to give over her see-saw act. He’s well-past this stage of confusion and cowardice she’s experiencing because he’s been in love with Ophelia since Promise (“I’m starting to get used to you”) and dealt with the ramifications of that in Clairdelune (“I don’t give a damn whether people find me suspect, as long as I am not so in your eyes.”). 
Thorn does nothing half-heartedly. In no uncertain terms, he left her with the bluntest of blunt confessions (“By the way, I love you.”), which was a milestone in his emotional growth. It is clear that he does not love frivolously or casually in the way of his foil, Archibald, so for him, nothing has changed in three years. Likely, he thinks this should be obvious to Ophelia, and it probably should be at this point. He’s done all he can, after all, what more can she want? From his perspective, it’s Ophelia’s turn to make a move, not his.
Ophelia, though, functions differently. She has always needed verbal reinforcement and reassurance. That need has been heightened by their long separation. Essentially, they’re out of touch with one another and, in Ophelia’s case, she’s completely out of touch with herself, which is why when prompted by Thorn she doesn’t provide an answer, even though there could be only one reason for her going to Babel. Things finally come to a head when Thorn loses all patience and replaces her as his assistant. Ophelia is pissed.
“You weren’t available. Waiting for you would have slowed me down in my research.”
“Slowed you down? For your information, I was also doing research of my own. It might interest you to learn…”
“Of your own, that’s precisely the problem,” he interrupted her. “I advised you never to leave your division, and you were supposed to warn me if you discovered anything new. Nothing has changed, you still always make your decisions alone.”
“I wanted to help you,” Ophelia hissed, through gritted teeth.
“I don’t want any of your finer feelings. I need efficiency. If you don’t mind, I now have a flight to take.”
Ophelia’s blood ignited in her every vein. “You’re an egoist.” She had wanted to anger Thorn, and she knew, by the way he had frozen on the spot, that she had succeeded. All the shadows of the night suddenly seemed to  have been drawn to the center of his face. He threw Ophelia a look so hard, she reeled from its impact.
“I am demanding, a killjoy, obsessive, antisocial, and crippled,” he intoned, in a forbidding voice. “You can put all the defects in the world on me, but I will not permit you to call me an egoist. If you prefer to do things your way, go ahead, but don’t waste my time anymore. Our collaboration is over.” [305]
OMG, this is harsh. But it’s the kick in the ass Ophelia needs. Since taking up a secret identity as Eulalia and aspiring to become a Forerunner (essentially a scholar and a scribe), she’s already been confronted by the fact that she’s not as good a researcher as she’s prided herself on. Now, she’s being confronted by the suggestion that she’s not a very good partner, either. It leaves her feeling “drier than dust.” [321]
I think it’s interesting how Thorn’s dialogue here has a double meaning. He’s talking about their partnership as an investigative team, of course. But it just as easily applies to their personal relationship. He can’t keep waiting around for Ophelia to make up her mind. He’s got a God to hunt down, an Other to face. Having to wonder about where he stands with Ophelia is getting to be too much. By once again haranguing off on her own, Ophelia has made it plain to him that she prefers to do things without him. In his eyes, she’s pushing him away.
Eventually, she is able to see this perspective and she is ashamed to realize how badly she’s held Thorn to a double standard. He gave of himself through words and gestures as far as he was able, while she gave him nothing in return. Finally, FINALLY, Ophelia fully expresses her love for Thorn and, as he once did, asks him to forgive her shortcomings. It’s a very sweet scene, I must say.  
Now, to go back for a moment, what’s really gutting about Ophelia calling Thorn an egoist is this:
“God said he would keep his eyes on you,” he muttered, in a choked voice. “Right in front of me. I make a lamentable husband, but I permit no one, particularly him, to persecute my wife. It’s impossible for me to tear you away from God, but I can tear him away from you. If a book exists that contains God’s secret, and allows his invulnerability to be punctured, I will find it.” [392]
For context, Ophelia had admonished Thorn for his dogged pursuit of this quest, expressing outrage that he should be doing this for a world that’s done nothing for him. At one time, yes, Thorn may have been acting in the interest of the world. Then, he met Ophelia (who is too curious for her own good) and he met God. God threatened her, and Thorn is not a man who could allow such a thing to go unpunished, no matter the consequence. Ever since they met—through every consideration, every move in this impossible investigation and despite each rejection from her—he’s been acting out of love for Ophelia. 
As Thorn said, he is not an egoist.
The Blind Spot
After their “egoist” argument, Ophelia feels instant regret and tries to stop Thorn from walking away. She doesn’t succeed, however, because she is struck by his claws. At first, she believes he may have done this on purpose, the thought of which really scares her because it indicates that Thorn is absolutely done with her.
Later, after she finally makes her confession, we all learn that, in fact, Thorn has lost a bit of control over his family power. He has no idea that he used his claws on Ophelia. I’m a little bit unsure what caused this vulnerability—I don’t really follow the given reason, so I’m wondering if Thorn doesn’t quite know himself why this has come to be.
My theory is more euphemistic. Ophelia had reached out to touch his turned back and the gesture badly startled him. He overreacts then overcorrects, and they both take a memorable tumble. Thorn explains:
“Never again accost me from behind my back or from any of my blind spots. Don’t do any movement that I can’t see coming in advance, or then warn me out loud.” [389]
He further explains that he can retain control as long as his claws don’t perceive her as a threat and asks her not to be absent-minded with him. I think it’s entirely plausible that his control over his Dragon power has weakened due to his deep emotion regarding Ophelia. I also feel that this speaks closely to their recent conflict as well as Thorn’s coding as autistic. It’s like Thorn is saying, “No more hide and seek. No more games. Tell me straight, or not at all.”
Ophelia knows how deep his passions run. She once held his dice and thought she might die under the weight and intensity of his emotions. Perhaps it is her Animism that has wrought this change in him. Perhaps it is simply her existence. Either way, she can no longer afford to be careless when it comes to Thorn’s feelings. In the final chapter, Ophelia and Thorn have a true heart to heart, reaffirming their partnership. But Thorn has something to add.
“No half-measures,” he interrupted her. “I’m not and do not wish to be your friend.” [445]
What he leaves unspoken is that he wants to be her husband, in every version of the role: Partner. Protector. Lover. Now that Ophelia has given him an answer, Thorn is comfortable leading them forward and it is the role of lover that he specifically has in mind. Considering this is probably the first time he’s ever propositioned a woman for sex, he is understandably quite awkward. Ophelia quickly realizes that she’s added to his inner turmoil by repressing her own sexuality around him and inadvertently making him feel less than attractive. She also understands that she, too, wants to be his wife in every version of that role: Partner. Protector. Lover. What follows is a really beautiful expression of honest acceptance and true value.
Desire
My dudes, our girl is constantly at risk of exploding (or maybe imploding?) with desire in this book. It’s consuming her, emptying her, and driving every atom of her being. Look at this!
Ophelia had received no news from Thorn after his escape. Not a single telegram, not a single letter. She could keep telling herself that he couldn’t run the risk of making contact, that he was a man wanted by the law, perhaps by God himself, but it was eating her up inside. [22]
Whenever she crossed a man who was a bit taller than average, she couldn’t stop herself from looking back as she passed, with a frantic pounding in her chest. [83]
Ophelia would have recognized his voice out of a thousand. The resonance of a double bass, solemn and sullen, that echoed through her inner emptiness, shook her to the core, welled up to her throat, choked her. [240]
She waited until her heartbeat, taxed by the run, had returned to normal. But it didn’t happen. Her entire flesh seemed to be pulsating to a single chaotic rhythm. This evening, she would see Thorn again. [249]
She wanted to be with Thorn right there, right now. She’d wanted that every second of every minute of every hour, for almost three years. [249]
Although she knew the temperature of this place was strictly maintained at minus eight degrees, Ophelia felt as if it were fifteen degrees warmer. Never in her life had she cared about appearances, and yet she ran a nervous hand through her hair to tidy it up. [253]
She suddenly realized that there wasn’t much she would have refused him, had he but asked. [278]
Instead, he disinfected his hands for a second time, as if they really were repulsive. They weren’t in Ophelia’s eyes. From a distance, she took in the network of veins under the skin, the long, curved fingers, the bone that          rose up on each wrist, and suddenly, she felt something like pain in the pit of her stomach. She hadn’t the slightest idea what was happening to her, but looking at those hands made her want to scream. [283]
She felt it again, even more violently, this urgent call from deep inside her. [446]
Ophelia is so horny and I’m so here for it!
Closing Thoughts
Do I think Ophelia’s internal conflict over Thorn is drawn out? Yes. 
Do I think it’s contrived? No.
I think it falls in line with Ophelia’s characterization and I think Thorn’s frosty reaction to her presence in Babel falls in line with his characterization. These characters aren’t perfect: Ophelia is quirky and endearing, but that doesn’t make her immune to cowardice; Thorn is highly skilled and competent but is deficient socially and sometimes emotionally. I can’t emphasize enough how well Christelle Dabos knows her characters and allows them to be who they are rather than force them to make weird changes to fill plot holes.  
We can’t forget, either, the fact that they have been completely cut off from one another for years. Yes, we might think in that time Ophelia could have done more to sort out her feelings. But as we’ve seen, she just doesn’t focus on more than what she can handle at a time. She always thinks in terms of breaking a problem down into steps. The first step was following up on those clues from Claridelune. The second step was finding Thorn. The last step was dealing with herself. 
Their relationship here, which has progressed in a way that felt natural and believable, is the most straightforward it has ever been. That made writing about them this time around kind of hard, actually, because it’s all plainly there in the text. For me, I think the notable takeaway is being able to mark just how far these two characters have come in their individual and mutual journeys. Now and together, they can tackle the gargantuan, perilous task ahead. It might all end on a bittersweet note. But for this couple…that seems about right, and I can’t wait to read the conclusion.
Thank you so much for reading these long posts and leaving such kind feedback! I’m glad that you, too, enjoy Ophelia, Thorn, and this magical series. 
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fanfic-me-up · 4 years
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Unwithering | Bakugou Katsuki x Reader (1)
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Part Two
Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x fem!reader
Prompt: Flower shop AU, “I think I’m in love with you.”
Warnings: Mild Swearing. Flowery language (pun intended 😉... I’ll show myself out)
Word Count: 2,250
Taglist: Reply to this post if you want to be added for future chapters!
A/N: This is for @bnhabookclub​ event going on! Thank you for giving new writers in the fandom, like me, a place to promote their work. Shout out to @smolmilkyways​ for letting me use this beautiful piece of fanart above! Go check them out! Also, thanks @gallickingun​ for letting me tag you in my first fic. You gave me some pretty solid advice that pushed me to get this out here. This was originally a one-shot, but of course it turned into a multi-chap, so stay tuned for more! 
🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻
“I think I’m in love with you.”
Your fists gripped the hem of your dress. The sunflowers on it reminded you of him; a burning sun at the center of your universe. The boy in front of you crinkled his forehead at your statement; as if the love you spent years building up the courage to confess was no more than a pebble - insignificant - that he could kick to the side without a second thought.
Midoriya gave you a slight thumbs up from the back, but the rest of the boys cackled with no remorse. 
“You hear that, Bakugou? She looovvveesss you!”
“Freaky flower girl and Bakugou sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G”
“Awww is she gonna cry?”
The lump in your throat was difficult to swallow, but you refused to prove them right. It would only add fuel to the fire threatening to burn the seed planted in your heart.
He stepped toward you. The scent of burnt sugar filled your lungs; like fresh apples picked from your mother’s garden, dipped in melted caramel. You heard it’s a side effect from his quirk, but it was the first time you were close enough to experience it for yourself. 
You willed your eyes to find his. The soft breeze blowing past provided a cooling relief to the intense heat felt in your cheeks. When your eyes locked, a spark flashed within his own. You couldn’t catch it in time, but your heart stuttered in response.
 Any chance of a flower blooming died the next moment.
“I’ll never love a weak girl like you.”
A year passed before you saw Katsuki Bakugou again.
🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻🌻
“Here’s your pickup order, Tanaka-san, I’m sure your wife will love them!” 
You ring up the older gentleman who’s been a regular at your mother’s flower shop for years. His wife loves the smell of scented geranium, a sweet apricot that never fails to remind her of the orchards back home. He’s convinced your flowers are the reason she’s still here; the true medicine to her illness.
You always deny this statement, shaking your head with a playful giggle, but the compliment warms you. It’s nice to hear people cared about your flowers.
“She loves only the ones made by you, dearest.”
He winks as his shaking hands grab the large bouquet. You smile and turn your hand, palm up, towards Tanaka whose eyes never fail to widen in awe at your quirk in action. A small stem sprouts from the center of your palm, growing taller by the second. You hone in on the bright yellow dot on the center of each petal. A wash of white forms around each dot, acting as a transition for the violet that envelops the rest of the petals.
Each petal opens up one by one to reveal a golden bud. 
You hand the flower to Tanaka.
“On the house,” you wink back. 
“Oh very nice, very nice, indeed,” he bows in thanks, “What is the meaning of this one?”
“Irises give hope. In Chinese tradition, it is referred to as ‘the purple butterfly’ because its petals flutter like butterflies.” 
The breeze from outside trails in at the perfect time and the petals flutter about.
“Very pretty,” Tanaka remarks, “I’ll be sure to let the misses know about this one!”
He thanks you one more time before walking out with a newfound spring in his step; the lone flower nestled in the pocket of his worn out janitor uniform. 
You’ve been working at Paradise Blooms for the past three years after your parents separated, and your mom needed the extra hand more than ever. It was difficult balancing school and work, especially when you were busy prepping for U.A. exams last year, but you could never say no to your mom. She’s been the constant in your life since day one.
The back door to the supply room squeaks.
“A little help here?” 
All you see is the top of your mom’s head, adorned with a multi-colored flower crown. Her face is covered by the high pile of crates she’s trying not to drop. You rush to catch the top crate before it tumbles.
“Phew. That was a close one. Thanks, honey!” 
She bends down to take the supplies out, arranging the items on the counters around the shop. She weaves through the aisles - it looks more like a garden than an actual shop, in your opinion, but you think it gives the place character. She stops at the row of potted flowers sitting on the far right of the shop, soaking in the sunlight cast through the window. It’s the new collection your mom got in time for the 2020 Garden Glow Event. Every year, flower shops all over the city participated in an annual gardening event to educate the public on gardening techniques with fun activities for the children. Your mom spent hours on the phone dealing with difficult vendors to get this specific collection for the event. Water sprinkles out from her palm as she takes the time to water each and every flower.
Since there’s no customers at the moment, you grab the broom from the storeroom and set to sweeping around the shop. It’s not long before your mom’s watering routine is interrupted by her phone ringing.
“Hello?” You continue sweeping, gently humming along to the tune playing through the speakers, but your voice catches when you hear, “Mitsuki! Hi! How are you?” 
Mitsuki? Your mom couldn’t possibly be talking to Mitsuki... Bakugou? 
Your knuckles turn white from squeezing the life out of the poor broom as you wait for confirmation. 
“I think I’m in love with you.”
The memories you tried so hard to forget come flooding all at once.
“I’ll never love a weak girl like you.”
You’re snapped out of the memory.
“Yes, bring him in! Great! See you in a few, bye.” 
Your mother returns to watering the flowers like nothing happened - like that single phone call didn’t just turn your world upside down, after you spent the last year flipping it right side up.
“Who was that?” 
You’re afraid of the answer. 
You promised yourself you moved on from Katsuki Bakugou. It proved to be easier said than done. Even if you both went to separate high schools and most of your days were spent either studying or working; at night is when your thoughts strayed. You wondered what he was up to… was he passing all his classes? You’d giggle at the absurdity of Katsuki not being number one. Was he still bullying Midoriya? Did you ever cross his mind?
Was he happy?
Because more than anything, you wished him happiness - even if that happiness was not with you. Was that weakness? Was wishing for someone’s happiness, who could care less about you, considered weakness? 
“Hm?” Your mom turns to you, “Oh! That was Mitsuki Bakugou. Her son, Katsuki - I believe you went to school with him? Well, he needs a part-time job to help pay for tuition. Can you believe he got into U.A.? Mitsuki must be so proud of him.”
“I figured you’d be happy,” she continues, " I know you’ve been struggling with balancing school and work, so I thought having another person around would help lighten the load a little bit. Besides, I owed Mitsuki a favor.”
Your mother blushes at the last part.
Favor? What favor?
But that’s the last thing on your mind when you suddenly feel the need to pass out.
Katsuki… is… working… here? 
“Honey, are you okay? You look a little pale.”
“I - I’m not sure I can…” you trail off. Your mom didn’t know about your confession to Katsuki. When you came home in tears that day, with your dress all wrinkled, you told her it was because kids were bullying you for trying and failing to get into U.A. 
It was the half-truth. 
“Y/N, did something happen between you and Katsuki? I can call Mitsuki back right now if you don’t feel comfortable with him around.” 
It was as easy as breathing or using your quirk, second nature, all you had to do was utter a two letter word and your mom would immediately have Mitsuki on the line, apologizing for the inconvenience, but making sure to recommend a few places in the area who were hiring. A simple “no” and your world would become right side up again, the boy you loved long forgotten during the day and only remembered at night when there’s nothing to consume your mind, but him. 
Taking the easy way called out to you, beckoning you to relinquish your strength, and give in. But if you couldn’t face one boy, then maybe Katsuki was right. Maybe you were weak. 
“I’m fine, mom, I can work with him,” you say.
Pounding footsteps against the pavement outside cut your mom off from her next words.
“OI! LET ME GO, OLD WOMAN, I’LL KILL YOU!” 
“CALL ME THAT ONE MORE TIME AND SEE WHERE IT GETS YOU!” 
Your breath hitches at the sound. You haven’t heard that voice in over a year; it’s gotten deeper, raspier in tone. You take a few breaths in and out to calm yourself so you don’t melt into the floor at first glance.
The door swings open - the “We’re Open” sign rattles dangerously against the glass -  and in barges Mitsuki Bakugou, dragging her son by the ear.
Katsuki struggles to get out of his mother’s grasp, his arms stretch toward the door, but Mitsuki pulls him all the way inside.
“I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF TRAINING, WOMAN!”
“AND NOW YOU’RE IN THE MIDDLE OF GETTING A JOB!”
“I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS SHIT!”
“YOU’LL MAKE TIME!”
Katsuki growls. His palms curving into themselves like he’s trying to reign in his quirk from exploding Paradise Blooms where it stands.
You and your mom look at each other, unsure how to inject yourselves in the rather awkward exchange. Truthfully, you’re not surprised by the interaction; you’ve seen Katsuki and his family at school events in the past. The Bakugous had an… interesting family dynamic. 
Mitsuki notices the both of you watching and immediately releases Katsuki. She smiles and greets your mom with a hug as if the previous interaction never happened.
“Y/Mom’s/N, it’s great to see you! How’s the event planning coming along?”
Your mom and Mitsuki engage in small talk for a couple minutes leaving you to sneak a quick glance over at Katsuki leaning against the door. He’s looking out the window with a scowl on his face. He crosses his arms to stop himself from fisting his palms, a sign you picked up on when he’s itching to get on the field and obliterate. 
You find yourself thinking how beautiful and destructive at the same time.
Once Mitsuki and your mom finish catching up, she directs her attention towards you. 
“And you must be Y/N?  Your mother has told me so much about you!”
You catch the flash of recognition in Katsuki’s eyes, but you’re wrapped in a hug before you can think. The hug is a bit awkward with the counter digging into your side, but the warmth radiating off Mitsuki makes you feel at home. She lets go of you and turns around to where Katsuki is still standing by the door, ready to leave the first chance he gets.
“And this is my son, Katsuki,” she beckons him over, but when he doesn’t move she barks, “Don’t be rude! Get over here and introduce yourself.” 
Katsuki grumbles under his breath, but trudges over. 
“Sup.”
Mitsuki growls and slaps Katsuki over the head, “Oi! Where are your manners!?” 
She glances apologetically, “I’m sorry. He’s… a bit much to handle. I really appreciate you agreeing to hire him. He’s had trouble in the past with defying authority.”
Katsuki scowls at the ground when Mitsuki pats his head affectionately this time. 
“But he’s a good kid at heart, a little rough around the edges, but overall a good kid. I hope you’re able to see that and work with him.” 
She bows; her hand on Katsuki’s head nudges him to do the same. His nose twitches, but he listens this time.
Your mother is an empathetic person, able to walk all paths of life and notice the beauty in each one. It wasn’t like her to turn someone down in need. 
Your mom smiles, “I’m happy to work with Katsuki. What about you, Y/N?”
She’s giving you a way out for the last time. 
Mitsuki looks at you, hope in her eyes.
Doubt laid out its hand for you to take; to lead you away from the pain that still ate away at you everyday. The teasing. The pointing. The rejection from U.A. and from Katsuki. Working with him would force you to face the pain head on.
“I’ll never love a weak girl like you.”
You lock eyes with Katsuki for the first time since that day many moons ago; he’s awaiting your answer, a twinge of hope laced in his eyes overshadowed by a grimace. 
You wonder if you now hold the fuel to the fire threatening to burn the tiny seed of hope he’s trying so hard to bury.
For better or for worse, you were also a person who found beauty in all paths of life.
“Welcome aboard,” you say.
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hybridfanfiction · 4 years
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Owner Training - 9
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- Lonely Kitten - 
If there was anything that made you hate having to get up at the crack of dawn to go to work besides the fact that you were actually going to work , it was the sight that greeted you when you went to say your goodbyes for the day.
Yoongi was curled up on the right side of the bed, the blankets pulled up so much you could barely see his face. He looked so comfortable and cozy, and you wanted nothing more than to climb back into bed and let his soft purrs lull you back to sleep.
Yoongi suddenly does that weird snore/snort combo he does when he’s jolted from sleep, and he turns to the other side, now facing the doorway. His eyes are still closed but your heart flutters a little when he tugs some blankets back like he’d worried he’d pulled them off of you.
You grin and walk up to him, bending over to press a small kiss to his forehead. He cracks one eye open and looks up at you sleepily.
“Work?” he mumbles, his voice adorably slurred.
“Yeah, sweetheart. I’ll see you later, kay?”
He hums and smacks his lips. “Don’t stay too late. You’ve been working too much.”
He had a point. You’ve already worked nine days straight this week and you were going crazy.
“I won’t. Today should be an easy day.”
How he manages to project so much skepticism with just one eye is a mystery.
“Promise?”
“Sure, baby. I promise. Love you.”
“Love,” is all he manages to mumble before he falls back asleep.
****
The thing about your job is that...you hate it. You’d gone into this job expecting to be able to make a difference. That you’d find abandoned kids great homes, bring families together, or...you didn’t even know. It was a lot of rainbows and unicorns. The reality of it was that you saw a lot of kids being given back to abusive homes because their dad passed an anger management class, only to be back in the system six months later. Parents would take each other to court over visitation rights, and only relent when they received even more money from the other. And those were just some of the more mild issues. Basically, this job had opened your eyes to the fact that people were monsters.
And on top of the actual work, was the fact that your seniors and boss made your life a hell. Instead of treating you with the respect due to you as a fellow lawyer with the same shiny degrees as them, they instead handed their work off on you or made you do menial tasks like you were just another paralegal ( NOT to shit on paralegals either - their job was hella hard too).
You didn’t even have your own office! You were just another desk in the sea of paralegals and secretaries. When you’d brought it up at your last review, you’d been told it was because you were the new hire and you had to work your way up. Well, you’d been working here for several years now, and the hotshot young guy straight out of Yale that they’d hired a year ago already had a private office and his own secretary.
Literally, the only thing keeping you going these days was the fact that you needed the money and you didn’t know what else to do. At least you had Yoongi waiting for you at home to look forward to.
“L/N, I’m going to need your help with these pleadings. Need them done for tomorrow. Thanks,” Johnson, one of the lawyers you hated the most, threw a pack of client interview notes on your desk and struts off without even giving you a chance to reply.
You sigh and look at the packet, debating setting them on fire and walking out of the building like a boss. But then he’d just complain to the big boss, who would call you in and give you a talking to. It all seemed like too much of a hassle. (You knew you were being bullied for being the only female lawyer here - it was ridiculous and sexist. Like, hello? Is this 1924? No.)
You’d get out of here eventually. Somehow. For now, you simply pull the packets closer and get to work.
Yoongi is going to kill you.
****
When you arrive home and finally kick off your heels with a happy sigh, it suddenly hits you that your apartment is silent. No TV, no booming rap music, not even the blessed sounds of cooking that your empty stomach had been looking forward to.
“Yoongi?”
“Nice of you to join us.”
You jump as he mumbles the words, finally pinpointing him in the corner of the dining room. He’s lounging in one of the chairs with his arms folded, his eyes screaming his disappointment.
“I know I’m late, I’m sorry.”
“Late, she says. It’s past midnight,” he scoffs.
“I know! I was going to leave earlier but I got stuck with some extra work.”
“You promised.”
His tone hurts you and you feel horrible.
He reaches out his hand, looking you dead in the eye...and pushes your vase of wildflowers right onto the floor.
The glasses crashes everywhere and he merely sits back and looks at the mess with a slight smirk.
“What the fuck, Yoongi?”
He shrugs. “It was in my way.”
“Why do you... aw hell ,” you whisper, feeling tears well in your eyes.
Suddenly, he leans foreword, looking at you with alarm. “Why the fuck are you crying? No, wait , stop that.”
“I’m so so-sorry,” you hiccup, as your tears turn to wails. “I’m a horrible person and a horrible girlfriend. I can’t do anything right. I’m a failure.”
Yoongi rushes to you and crouches down, pulling you into his chest.
“No, you’re amazing. The best. I’m just throwing a tantrum like a baby because I miss you. I’m sorry, I’ll be better,” he croons, petting your back frantically in an attempt to comfort you.
You lean into his touch and let yourself cry until chest and throat throb in pain too much to continue. Yoongi presses a kiss to your forehead.
“Better?” me mutters, and you nod your head, finally looking up at him. His eyes are red too, with tear tracks down his cheek. You swipe at them and he kisses your hand.
“Sorry,” you whisper hoarsely, and he shakes his head.
“No need. I’m sorry I was being a brat.”
“You have a point though. I’m never home.”
“Because you’re literally working to take care of us.”
“Yeah, but...even I know that they are working me too much. I’ve never been so stressed in my life, Yoongi. And today I had to literally watch some kid cry and be torn away from the foster family that’s been raising him since he was two weeks old and be given to his druggie mother who he’s seen once in three years. I just...how is that okay?”
“It’s not. Not everyone has as big a heart as you, love.”
You grunt and relax into his touch as he pets your hair soothingly.
“If you could find something else, what would you do?”
You consider the question. “I’m not sure. I think there’s still a part of me that desires to help and make a difference, but then there’s the me that’s been at this for awhile that isn’t sure that’s realistic. I’d still work in law, but...I don’t know. I don’t know who would actually need me.”
He hums and tilts your head up. “Want some tea?”
“Yes please,” you smile softly as he stands up and reaches out a hand to help you up.
He peeks sheepishly at the glass and gestures for you to go sit on the couch.
“I’ll clean it up”
“Seriously though, Yoongi. My vase?”
“Honestly, I’ve been feeling the urge to push that off the table for a few days and I just used that as an excuse. I’ve also been eyeing the wine glass display, but I’ve held off since I actually use those,” he chuckled on his way to the kitchen.
“Don’t you dare. Bad Kitty.”
“Kinky,” he hums, then you hear the click of the electric kettle.
You wait in silence, exhausted after your outburst of emotion. Truthfully, it was probably long-due. A few minutes later Yoongi returns and hands you a mug full of lemon and ginger tea, blowing on his own mug as he settles in next to you.
“I had a thought,” he rumbles after taking a sip.
“Finally,” you snort, grinning when he pinches you.
“You never call in sick or go anywhere so you probably have a shit load of vacation time saved up, right?”
“Oh, yeah. I should have at least a couple weeks worth. I usually just cash out at the end of the year.”
“Take it. Let’s go on vacation. No sense killing yourself over a job you hate, and I want to spend some time with you.”
You sigh, leaning into Yoongi’s warmth. “Yeah, you’re right. Where shall we go?”
He shrugs. “Jeju? I don’t know. I don’t care as long as it’s somewhere with a nice bed and I get to see you in a bikini”
You pinch him and he laughs unapologetically.
“You know I love you right? No matter how much I’m away or if we are having some stupid fight - I love you,” you ask, your voice soft and a little shy.
He picks up your free hand and places a kiss on the back of it, squeezing it gently.
“I love you too, even when I’m being a brat or when you forget to pick up ice cream.”
“Wow, that’s deep.”
“What can I say?” he shrugs. “I’m a man of refined tastes.”
****
Notes:
Why are my cats always knocking shit off my counters?
Also, I had a few requests from people who wanted to send me fanart. You can email it to me at [email protected] or tag me on here. I’d love to see it.
I think I have a twitter made but I can't remember it right now lmao. If anyone wants that I'll try to find it later.
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221bsunsettowers · 3 years
Text
The Kingdom Lights Shine Just for Me and You (TK/Carlos Royal AU): Chapter 4: Your Heart is a Beating Drum
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TK Strand is a Prince who has given up on true love after having his heart broken.
Carlos Reyes is a Knight who longs for true love but must put his family's needs first.
Carlos just won a jousting tournament hosted by TK's father.
The prize?
An arranged marriage with one Prince TK.
A 9-1-1 Lone Star Royal AU
Previous chapters can be found here 
Chapter 4: Your Heart is a Beating Drum
In which Carlos and TK struggle with the poison revelation, there is a misunderstanding leading to cracks in emotional walls and mutual softness, and Carlos meets his new security detail, Judd and Marjan.
Carlos opened his mouth, but no words came out. He found himself unable to do anything but sit there, staring, gape-mouthed, at Tommy, hands gripping the base of his chair hard enough his knuckles turned white."Are you sure?" he heard TK ask, but the words seemed muffled, making their way towards Carlos as if through water.
"It was in his goblet of wine," Nancy answered, and Carlos' head shot up, his wide-eyed gaze drawn straight to TK, whose face was drained of all color.
"You saved my life," Carlos whispered, the first words he had been able to get out since the news had so abruptly arrived. TK's eyes were immediately on Carlos, and Carlos found he could already easily read the question in TK's gaze. "The wine. I stopped drinking as soon as I saw you were uncomfortable. I only had perhaps two sips, maybe three."
"That would explain why you merely got so ill," Tommy said, nodding in agreement.
"Merely got so ill?" TK's voice was suddenly raised, his face now flushed, tone full of anger. "If he wasn't here-"
"Of course, I understand," Carlos cut in, unsuccessfully attempting to control the tremble in his voice. "I will go pack my things at once, Your Highness. My presence will no longer cause you discontent." He managed to remind his body how to bow, his voice to say, "Thank you all for your kindnesses," before quickly making his way back towards his chambers.
"Was that your goal?" Grace gently chided, and TK could merely shake his head, before sprinting ��after Carlos.
"I fear that there has been a misunderstanding," TK burst out, throwing open the door to Carlos' chambers, stopping short as he was met with the sight of a bare chested Carlos, holding in one hand the tunic he had just been wearing in the kitchen, in the other hand the clothes he had arrived in.
"I fear there has not been," Carlos sighed, eyes downcast as he held the tunic out to TK, whose gaze was still frozen on the expanse of Carlos' skin. "I will not take anything I did not arrive with."
"Carlos, stop, please," TK pleaded, gently wrapping his fingers around Carlos' wrist. Carlos twisted away, pulling his own shirt on before reaching for his bag.
"I do not wish you to be harmed!" TK did not register the volume of his voice, or the tremble weaving in around his words, only that Carlos had not yet picked up his bag, that he had not yet moved for the door. "If I am discontented, it is because a villain could have killed you the prior evening!" TK's eyes were wide, and his chest was heaving, and he was almost shouting, and Carlos could not tear his own eyes away. "And I cannot have that. I will not have that."
"TK," Carlos breathed out, soft and surprised, laying his hand gently on TK's shoulder, squeezing once in reassurance. "I am not harmed."
"I know," TK murmured, rubbing his face harshly between his fingers, the air and energy seeming to deflate as he sunk onto the corner of the bed. "But you were in pain. It was mere chance that you are not..." A shudder rippled through TK's shoulders, and he shook his head, refusing to continue.
"It was your example, actually, that ensured my recovery," Carlos said with a smile, crouching down and placing a grounding hand on TK's jittering knee. "I think, TK, I shall be joining you in abstaining from wine from now on."
This startled a wry chuckle from TK, who nodded, a smile beginning to turn up the corners of his mouth again. "My name sounds much better from your lips than Your Highness. I am glad I have earned back the right."
"I am still amenable," Carlos assured him with a smile, and TK's face crinkled into a full grin, before he moved to join Carlos on the floor, sitting cross-legged with his hands clasped in his lap.
"I do not wish you to depart," TK admitted softly, staring down at his hands. "I wish you to be safe. But as this is an arrangement my parents are determined to see through, I am glad it is you by my side."
"I am glad to be by your side," Carlos assured him, reaching over and resting his hand on top of TK's. TK unlatched his own fingers and turned one hand up, interlocking his fingers through Carlos' and squeezing softly.
And then just as suddenly TK was pulling back his hand, cradling it to his chest as he stood up and walked towards the door. "You must be tired still," he said softly, staring at the door, his back to Carlos. "You should get some rest. I will make sure there is someone stationed outside your door to ensure your safety."
"Thank you," Carlos whispered to an already closed door, TK somewhere on the other side.
Carlos had completed returning all garments to their proper places and was just attempting to settle back into the bed, when a knock sounded on his door. "Yes?" Carlos called out, and a tall man with broad shoulders entered the room, a large friendly smile on his face.
"Hello there," the man said. "My name is Judd." He gestured to the woman who had moved up to stand next to him. "This is Marjan. TK has requested that we arrange protection for you given what occurred at the banquet."
"We have been instructed by TK to ignore any protests you may provide," Marjan added, her eyes sparkling mischeviously. This startled a laugh out of Carlos, who shook his head with a rueful smile.
"I am a knight," Carlos said, gesturing towards his sword, now carefully cleaned and returned to its scabbard. "I have been more than capable of protecting myself for many years now."
"We have seen you joust, we fully trust in your capabilities," Marjan promised. "We would welcome you joining our training sessions."
"But TK..." Judd trailed off, leaning back against the wall. "He has endured a lot this past year. More than his share. Finding his own way to keep you safe seems highly important to him. Which brings us here."
"Will he have enough protection still?" Carlos asked anxiously. "I am sure you already have a protocol in place, given TK must order protection such as this for all guests. I would just have assurance he will not be left unguarded."
Judd and Marjan exchanged a knowing smile before answering. "This is the first occurrance, in fact," Marjan replied, a smirk playing across her lips. "Before he has always left all security to his father. Even with Prince A-" She stopped herself short, pinching her lips together, smile falling away. "That is not a name that should ever be mentioned within these walls, or anywhere ever again if I had my say."
"I will not ask or speak of him," Carlos promised, and Marjan gave him a quick nod of respect. "I just wish, I would know more of what occurred so I could understand and help, so I could know if there is ever a chance..." Sighing, Carlos rubbed his hands over his face. "It is not my place and I will not attempt to make it so."
"We are very fond of our little prince here," Judd said with a chuckle, and Marjan snorted with laughter. Carlos raised a surprised eyebrow but found himself unable to stop himself from laughing along. "He is our family. And we have not seen him smile like this in far too long."
"Which may very well be the reason the king wishes a word with you now," Marjan said as she gestured towards the door. "He's waiting in the throne room."
I made the mood board at the top (photo credit to Denny Mueller, Tim Rebkavets, Pawel Furman, Alice Pasqual, and Jonathan Kemper). Please, absolutely feel free if you are inspired by this story to make moodboards, fanart, fics inspired by, headcanons, share your theories with me, stories for side characters, etc. I can’t even tell you the joy that brings me. Honestly, that’s always been my dream as a writer. Just please tag me! @a-l-ias is an amazing artist who is working on fanart for this story and my heart can’t even handle the happiness. 
If you would like to be added to the taglist for this story, please let me know! @laelipoo​ @ravens-words​ @ladytimekiller​ @buddie-buddie​ @morganaspendragonss​ @marceee24​ @a-l-ias​ @bikingthroughhawkins​ @i-had-bucky​ @pragmaticoptimist34​ @highqualitykhakis​ @meloingly​ @borntobewondering​ 
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raziroo · 3 years
Text
Chapter Four | I Take A Liking To Lilac All Of A Sudden
Pairing: Lotor x Reader (There you go)
Genre: Angst? I don't knowww
Warnings: Mentions of cancer, mild swearing
Word Count: 1,676
Author’s Note: This is kind of a filler? I can't write long shit in one sitting, so. It's important to reader and lotor's relationship, tho.
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‘Good luck. Come back alive, all of you, alright?’ I asked, my eyes roving over the three people standing before me – Matt, Pidge, and Shiro. ‘It’s, like, one of the simplest things you could do. You give Lotor, you get Mr. Holt. Simple. Very simple and easily doable. Right?’ My gaze dragged over all of them once more as I picked at my nails nervously. As much as I was aware of the fact that this trade wasn’t simple and easily doable, I knew that I would legitimately have a nervous breakdown if I didn’t spew lies through my teeth.
Shiro smiled at me lightly. ‘Of course. I’ll make sure nothing goes wrong. You guys take care too.’
‘If, however, anything happens,’ Allura chided, ‘the other lions will arrive as soon as possible.’
‘Yeah,’ Pidge said with a wry smirk, ‘so try not to pass out.’
‘Okay,’ I nodded my head rapidly, ‘yeah, okay, I – I can do that.’
‘Good. Well, we’ll get going then,’ Shiro announced, and turned around, the others following him.
Hopefully, all would go well.
. . . . .
You know what? Everything actually went relatively well. Yes, my hunch turned out to be correct and Zarkon chose to go through with the ‘I was lying all along! Bwahahaha!’ route and ended up getting himself killed at the hands of his son, but overall, I’d say it was a win-win, seeing that we got Pidge’s father back (thank God, who knows what havoc she’d wreak if we ended up not getting Sam back) and the evil maniacal tyrant who’d been ruling over the universe for ten thousand years died.
The one downside was that now there needed to be a new Emperor, because following Zarkon’s death, not only the Galra empire, but simultaneously the entire universe had gone into a state of chaos too. There was no doubt that underlings and generals would try to take over smaller parts of the empire, and once that happened, Voltron being able to do anything would be a stretch.
And, according to Lotor, a ceremony to crown the new emperor, the Kral Zera, would now be taking place. Once he said that, he really didn’t need to say more – it was obvious what his implications were. A new emperor was to be crowned, and if Voltron was to achieve peace, Lotor would have to go and secure the throne. It was a sensible thought to be had, no problem. The thing was, to reach the Kral Zera, which was taking place in two days, in itself was a decision to be taken with utmost thought. The Paladins just didn’t have enough time to decide.
On the one hand, Shiro and Lotor were adamant that the latter be crowned emperor; the other Paladins, however, were justifiably hesitant. I had been standing there listening to them going back and forth, not saying a word myself, like always.
To be honest, I just wanted to go sleep. For some reason, I’d been feeling overly anxious these past few days. White was still not responding to me, I was having regular dreams about the day I woke up here. It was always that one day, that first conversation I had with Shiro. It was as if my subconsciousness too wanted me to reach out to Shiro because there was clearly something weird going on with him.
My suspicions only solidified when I heard Shiro’s voice boom through the room. My head snapped up. Lance with a look of shock and the slightest bit of fear on his face, Shiro’s visage twisted with uncharacteristic anger.
‘Shiro. I think you should just relax a little.’ The man turned to me, brows pinched.
‘I am relaxed -’
‘No, I really think you aren’t… so, like… take it easy, yeah?’ I asked, jumping my eyebrows, arms still folded in front of me, maintaining a calm yet defensive posture. I could feel the entire room’s gazes on me. After all, I almost never spoke in such discussions, or any discussions, really, and indirectly opposing Shiro, of all people, was way too brave a thing for me to do.
Shiro looked at me with slight disbelief, a glint in his eye challenging me to speak up. ‘You want me to take it easy? Take it easy? The fate of the universe depends on this, taking it easy is really not an option right now. I’ve put my foot down – as the Leader of Voltron, I’ve taken this decision. You aren’t someone befitted to oppose me.’
Ok, wow. Everyone shared the same opinion apparently, as now the silence seemed piercing. Clicking my tongue, I tilted my head. ‘Well, maybe not as a Paladin, which I’m not, or a member of the coalition. But as a friend, Shiro, you’ve been acting strange. Everyone realises this. You realise this. … Maybe, I don’t know… maybe all this reflecting on you’ve been doing, maybe the role of leader is taking a toll on you? I, heh,’ I chuckle, ‘I really am not sure. But you’re not relaxed, and you’re not acting yourself.’
‘Could you please not tell me how to be a Paladin?’
‘While you all waste time squabbling, sinister forces are conspiring to fill the Galra power void. If I don’t return to claim the throne, there’s no telling who will.’
Does being royalty instantly make you a hundred times more dramatic? Sinister forces? Deadass?
I walked out.
. . . . .
Shiro went behind our back.
Yeah.
Acting like a complete bitch, he took Lotor to the Kral Zera, where, for your information, he could’ve been blown up. By Keith.
I wanted to deck Shiro. Instead, I visited White. I had hopes she’d respond to me, since I’d been brave and spoken my mind. I prayed on all the Gods and Deities above that my expectations became reality.
Yeah, they didn’t. She didn’t budge. The whole entire two goddamned hours I sat in front of White, she ignored me. Frustrated, I ended up punching her, resulting in bleeding knuckles. Lotor saw that, by the way. He seemed to always be keeping an eye on White, regardless of me being there or not, which I admit is a little strange, but I wasn’t judging. These aliens seemed to worship the Lions.
Lotor also invited us to the Galra headquarters, and lord oh my lord, was it fancy. Allura had gone off to do research with Lotor (I’d been about to make a joke about what “research” those two were really about to do, if you catch my drift, but then I saw Lance looking at the pair glumly, and thought better of it. I’d lightly punched Lance on the shoulder, and raised my eyebrows so as to say ‘They’re gorgeous aliens who could give Bella Hadid and Harry Styles a run for their money, it can’t be helped.’ He laughed.) I accompanied Hunk, Lance and Pidge in their shenanigans for a while, but ended up wandering around the place.
Space was beautiful. Even through a window, I wanted to just stare at it for as long as I could, enjoying a show more realistic than ever before. It was really similar to all the Marvel movies I’d watched; I felt a weird sense of pride at that realization. I remembered how I’d cried at the end of Infinity War, my friends clinging to me and bawling as well; how loud I’d squealed at an absolutely steamy piece of Kakashi fanart Cory had drawn; how happy I’d been when Sasha, my neighbour and childhood friend, had come out victorious after battling cancer for years.
I hadn’t realized when the tears had started slipping down my cheeks. I wiped at them, but they wouldn’t go. Sniffling and wiping so furiously my skin would get burned when I heard footsteps, I turned to see Lotor approaching me.
‘Hey -’ shit, my voice was so thick. Clearing my throat obnoxiously loud, I greeted him again. ‘Hey, uh… what… how’s yours and Allura’s research going?’
‘The research has been going quite smoothly.’
‘Hmm. Nice.’
Lotor was staring – no, correction - scrutinising me. I could feel it, his intense as hell eyes burning into the side of my face. I wasn’t going to give up, though. I stared at the window with as much concentration as he me.
He was the first to speak up. Ha.
‘You’re not of the Paladins.’
‘Really? I didn’t know, thanks,’ I still wasn’t looking at him.
‘Deepest apologies if I offended you -’
‘You didn’t, it’s okay.’
‘…’
‘…’
‘…If you wish to answer, why do you appear… distant, compared to the other Paladins? You say they are your friends, but there’s such scarce interaction… you seem acquaintances at best.’
‘… They are my friends. I like to think so, because, well… because I don’t have anyone to go back home to.’
‘Oh. My apologies, I didn’t mean to pry.’
‘You didn’t pry, chill. It’s not that my family’s dead or anything, it’s just that… no, well, my family is dead, but… like, they’ve been dead for around three hundred or so years…?’ I turned to Lotor, brows furrowed. He looked less confused than me.
‘Sorry, no, that’s – that’s shit explanation, um… you could say… I… I’ve lived past my time. I’m alive when I’m not supposed to be.’
I didn’t explicitly mention, as you can see, that I was a time traveller, because I wasn’t really one with that fact yet. I’d accepted it, yes, but that didn’t mean I was comfortable with it. It was still a foreign truth, something I didn’t take great joy in talking or thinking about.
When I turned to Lotor, I felt like he’d understood what he needed to already.
It was bizarre. A lilac alien was the last person I would expect to understand me so easily, but it was what it was.
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veiledsilver · 3 years
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Top five moments you've felt like the universe was messing with you.
Oh boy everyone get ready this is a long list. In descending order, from mildly funny looking back on it to "oh god oh shit oh fuck":
5. Catfishing: College Edition
In 6th grade, I decided to apply to colleges early to see how they were like. I was scared that if they knew I was too young, they'd arrest me. So I created a gmail account as my persona, a white 12th grader named Emilie Alexander. Emilie was planning to go into nursing, dating a high school linebacker named Kyle Kenderson, and deathly allergic to bee stings. If she even came near a bee, she would die.
This part was of the utmost importance.
See, I was constantly paranoid that one day, the jig would be up- I might forget that my fake last name was Alexander. Or the college dean might come knocking at my door and tear up my home in his mad search for Emilie. If that happened I would fake her tragic death, presumably caused by one big fucking bee.
I secretly collected my information. What nearby states were the prettiest to visit. Which colleges were the safest and most affordable. How often they held courses that I liked. In my emails with colleges I tried to sound as mature and professional as possible.
Then, one day, a college member asked me what high school I was in, so they could check my records.
My blood froze.
It was time to bring out the bee.
In response to their question, I sent an email that was like this:
"Dear Mr. McLaughlin, I was a proud graduate of- ugh! Ah! Kyaaaa! Uwaa! W-w-what's this... huge goddamn bee doing here?! Eek, pardon my foul language! It's just that, as I told you earlier, being stung by a bee would kill me.... and now it's stung me thrice (three times)!!
What do I do?! I can't die... I've always wanted to attend your beautiful college...
But this is... the end...
Mr. McLaughlin...
*looks at you sadly*
Tell... my mother... I loved her...
*dies*"
He never responded, probably because he was rendered speechless, but I never touched that account again.
My private gmail for fun stuff like tumblr still has "Alexander" as a surname, though.
4. Wild and Authentic
Alright. Alright. So. My art teacher in middle school.
Right off the bat, they endeared themselves to the tumblr art kids- they proudly used they/them pronouns, dyed their hair vibrant colors, deeply encouraged OC creation, and was chill with any art style even if it was anime. Mx. Mason was very cool, except for one thing.
We had complete artistic freedom when it came to their assignments, EXCEPT FOR ONE THING.
Drumroll, please.
Take a deep breath if you must.
Ready?
...
Cats had to have extremely distinct whisker pores.
YES, they believed that modern depictions of cats were too streamlined. Too... idealized. As a cat owner themselves, they were convinced that society's vision of cats did not do their feral feline ancestors justice. In making their faces flawlessly smooth-furred, we were stripping the cat of its true nature.
I found this out the hard way, when I was drawing warrior cats fanart for class (it was of Firestar cuddled in the arms of an orange haired anime catgirl who was his reincarnation in my first ever comic series, Warriors Neko Desu! ♡ Heart Academy Dokidoki).
Mx. Mason came over to look at my magnum opus, and I expected them to have their socks knocked off at my artistic talent. They lifted up my drawing for all to see, and I smugly leaned back in my seat.
Only for them to launch into a passionate lecture about how, in neglecting to draw whisker pores on cats, I was DENYING THIS FICTIONAL CAT OF ITS WILD AUTHENTIC SELF.
My friends absolutely lost it when I told them this story, and there was a period of time when all our discord nicknames were wild and authentic too.
As for Firestar and his counterpart Hoshineko Orenji-chan, I never did give them wild authentic whisker holes, but that's to be expected of a kittypet, I guess.
3. Stan Jungkook Or Whatever
A couple years ago, my family and I flew to Seoul, South Korea, to visit our relatives and teach me more about my heritage. It was very nice! I got to visit shrines and festivals and palaces, and I was in awe that this was what my ancestors had once seen in their daily lives.
Then, when we went to the modern side of Korea, I realized just how much I didn't fit in.
It was clear that I didn't know how to act, or how to speak Korean, and I spent my days fumbling around and getting scammed multiple times by salesmen. But I clowned myself the most... during an interactive event with kpop stars.
They had this experimental event where holograms of the boys would sing onstage and dance in place of the actual idols. Before the show began, girls could stand in booths that scanned their appearances, and holograms of THEM could dance onstage with the hologram boys.
I didn't know this.
When Cousin Ae-cha told me to step inside one of the machines, I thought I'd be hilarious and stand backwards, so it would scan the back of me instead of my front. As I walked out, I saw other girls putting on their best makeup, cutest clothes, and most expensive accessories, and I slowly realized that I was in danger.
But the danger didn't come until halfway through the concert, where the boys looked eagerly off-stage and a holy staircase appeared and all the hologram girls descended from heaven. There were cherry blossoms. There were roses. There was me, among the crowd of beautiful airbrushed girls, walking backwards.
I felt the judgemental gazes of twenty girls and their mothers.
Each boy danced with a girl, who got a cute animated moment with special effects, and sang about how they found a dream girl to have a true love romance with. Finally, all the girls vanished except one, and it was me.
One of the boys didn't dance with any girls, and now he was all alone in the rain, feeling dejected that HE did not find his true love girl to have a dream romance with. Then the rain stopped, the sun came out, and I emerged. Still backwards.
He was thrilled and sang about how my face (that he didn't see) stole his heart, and now everyone in the audience was giggling, and he slowly brought me very close to kiss me... but because I was backwards, his nose was cutely nuzzling my hair.
The audience members- at least the adults- were now laughing their asses off. His lips met the back of my head, and together we vanished into the wind.
I'd say I couldn't show my face there ever again, but I never did show my face, so... hm...
2. Horrid Little Temptress
If I wasn't a minor, I'd need a drink before starting this story. Sadly, I cannot drown my sorrows- and neither should you after you hear this, because it's only fair.
Mrs. Appleby was my Spanish teacher in like, 9th grade. Even the wild and authentic art teacher thought she was insane. Appleby forced kids to brew tea for her and yelled at them when they didn't get it right, and I thought she had a chronic squint until I realised she just did that to mock me and my Asian eye-folds. She forced us to watch Dora the Explorer to "absorb knowledge." Everyone fucking hated Mrs. Appleby.
But the worst thing she ever did... was during the school festival.
See, whenever she's angry, she zooms right into kids' faces to scream at them. Her wrinkled flesh would blot out the goddamn sun and all you see are her bloodshot yellow eyeballs so victims just stayed rooted to the spot like cornered animals or something similar. This is important.
Because when she was sampling her own brownies (read: hoarding them so no one else could eat them), one parent foolishly decided to grab one and she thought it was a student and she grabbed his wrist so hard she could've nearly snapped it and... and... zoomed into his face.
Except she underestimated his height and kissed him by accident, but it was more like her mouth was sucking in his face like a vacuum.
His wife was shrieking like an ape. His kid, my classmate, saw his social life flash before his eyes.
In her defense, she did not mouth to mouth with him on purpose and afterwards she cried in the bathroom and when I foolishly followed her in to comfort her, because I am a teacher's pet through and through, she snatched the paper towels I got for her and wailed that she was a-
A-
HORRID LITTLE TEMPTRESS.
If I had decided to not be kind, I never would've heard that string of fucking words. But I did. And I paid for it dearly. The end.
1. Violence IS The Answer, Sometimes
Thomas, my dearly detested.
Back in sixth grade, I used to have a crush on him because he had the surfer boy look with nicely tanned skin and pale blond hair and the clearest aquamarine eyes I've ever seen. He also liked surfing and swimming. He seemed like the perfect little trophy waifu except for one absolute dealbreaker.
He and his parents were extremely conservative and so, when I told him I liked him, his response was basically "haha no you're a [slur] and would probably eat my dog."
I was horrified and ran away to cry. But then, by the next day, I decided I needed to punish him. Thomas walked in before class started and I was waiting for him with these hands. I kicked him so he doubled over, slammed his face into his chair's seat, and quickly clambered on top of him to SIT ON THE BACK OF HIS HEAD. He started shaking and twitching and trying to pry me off, but eventually he went limp and stopped moving.
I thought he fell asleep, but Mohammed, another classmate who was bullied by Thomas, told me that Thomas might never wake up again (not that he was very sad about this. I didn't know until later, but Thomas said slurs at him too).
While I was sitting on the guy, he'd straight up passed out from the lack of oxygen.
Screaming and crying, I told our homeroom teacher that Thomas suddenly fainted, and she was the type of Caucasian that thought all little Asian kids were sweet and innocent, so it didn't even cross her mind that? It might've been me? Who sat on his head when she walked in?
He was sent home early that day. I had to go to a different school next year because Thomas's mom threatened legal action. The only reason I didn't get punished further was because my rich cousins out-Karen'd her and donated a huge amount of money to the school to keep them quiet.
Anyway, I never did anything that insane ever again, because something like that is enough for a lifetime. My cousins made it clear they would never back me up again. I was sure this whole event would be put behind me, too.
But last fall, during my first day of online learning... who did I see in my zoom meeting... BUT THOMAS! I had my mic and camera off, but the moment he saw my name, his face went pale. His soul would've left his body, but then it would've gone to hell, so it wisely decided to stay inside.
Still, out of shame and embarrassment, I never turned my camera on for the rest of the school year.
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minyoongisjiminie · 3 years
Text
너는 나 나는 너 (neoneun na naneun neo)
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ship: jikook, idol!jungkook x broke literature student!jimin
genre: fluff and angst, kind of slowburn
rating: pg-13
disclaimer: language and alcohol 
plot: jimin and jungkook were childhood friends and with jungkook training to become an idol, they both lost contact. jungkook however did never forget what Jimin once promised him: “If your pinky is bigger than mine, then I give you the allowance to marry me.” 
inspo: a beautiful fanart that i saw on insta some time ago. it made me brainstorm for a good amount of time :)
a/n: please be nice to me :’) I haven’t written stuff in such a long time and I’m so out of it…so pretty please cut me some slack :) constructive criticism is always allowed tho.
a big thank you to the closest mutual i have: @sugaforyou​ for beta reading and just being a helpful hand! i’m sure I was a mess… :’) I’m sorry for that and I love you! 
word count: 12,8k 
-
Jimin despised waking up early every day and then continuing to trot to the bus station. Did it even matter in the first place? School made him even more unmotivated than he already was in this part of life. In fact, there were no interesting and helpful topics he learned there and, furthermore, he thought that attending school was more something he fulfilled for his parents. They were always so proud of him when he brought home a good grade. So proud, that he always concealed how depressed school actually made him.  Going to school for so many hours to then attending the tuition classes and as if that weren’t enough also continuing studying at home, was that place that essential though? It just made him already completely weary when he wakes up on a Saturday. The only passion and hobby that he possessed was taking dance lessons, but even for those he rarely had time. He wanted to continue to attend them, but he was too overwhelmed with school that he was absolutely tired. On top of that, none of his friends actually tried to offer him a shoulder to cry or were even there to cheer him up. 
They did not realise how it was to live up each day to the expectations of others, how it was to live for others, just how it was to be so damn dependent on someone. Of course, he wasn’t the only one that had parents that were expecting so much. However, the friends that he established were all free spirits and some of their parents were even condoning that.
Oh, how he envied them. 
Why was he even so dependent on the hugs from his parents when he brought home an A, or just a simple “I’m proud of you” or “i love you”. It made him do things that he wouldn’t normally do. He was not expecting that just from his parents, but also from his friends. If he got these compliments and showers of love, he felt like it was okay to suffer. Maybe that was the reason why he was so lonely. He put himself into the moulds that people in his environment created for him. It ended up swallowing him up.
Nowadays, those he once called friends were ignoring him as much as they could, and his family didn’t really care about him. As long as he received  good grades and didn’t protest, they were fine with him. To be honest now without any distractions whatsoever he could completely concentrate on school, with his friends having stopped calling him on Friday nights to ask if he would come hang out with him on the weekend/following day.
They already knew he would find a pathetic excuse why he couldn’t attend. He was on his own.
Just as if someone like Kookie didn’t exist…
Kookie, or by his full name Jeon Jungkook, was his younger neighbour.
He was a few years younger than him and every time when Jimin was miserably trotting to school, the little one would always sprint his way up to him. Like Jimin’s puppy “Doraemon” trying to play with the little kids by running after them. Now after realising that, Jimin couldn’t stop thinking that they sort of looked similar to each other. That made him forget his sorrow for a little while, and he couldn’t stop smiling.
When Jimin was younger he always thought that Jungkook behaved that way because he looked up to him. Considering he was a few years older than him. Maybe he needed an older brother figure? Nowadays however Kookie comes to check if his pinkie grew out to be taller than the one of the older one. This cannot happen overnight of course, but Jungkook didn’t quite seem to understand how the mystery of time and patience worked.
“Hyung, just look! If my finger outgrows yours..! Then you need to marry me. You promised me!”
Jimin smiled gently. He actually stated that a few months back, because Jungkook wouldn’t stop bragging around that he was marrying Jimin soon. At first he thought it was cute, but after a while it started to get on Jimin’s nerves because he wouldn’t stop. So, the only option he had was to tell him they were still too young, and Jimin liked boys bigger than him.
To the surprise of the little one of course. He was absolutely bamboozled, his doe-like eyes grew even bigger in that moment, and he asked if he really needed to become taller than him, in order for him to take the older one’s hand in marriage. Jimin quickly grabbed the younger one by his hand and softly stated: “It’s enough if your little pinkie is bigger than hyung’s. And that needs some time, doesn’t it?” Kookie nodded shyly, examining the black and white converse chucks that the older one was wearing.
Looking back to it, he always ended up snickering a bit. The boy was truly a gift to the neighbourhood, everyone in the area loved him. Even though he was already growing up to become an adolescent, for all the neighbours he was still the little cute and gifted maknae, Kookie. A lot of his classmates that came to visit him were all trying too hard to look cool, which was normal for that age, but Kookie was still acting like a little adorable brat.
But dare you to recognize him and adore him back, face to face, then he turned into a big whiny mess.
Jungkook was indeed a once in a lifetime…
Jimin didn’t even know why Jungkook was so hellbent on “marrying” him. They were so young  and Jungkook so tiny. You wouldn’t tell he was twelve.
However, Jimin couldn’t stop feeling a bit flattered by the compliments and promises the little one gifted him. Even though it was “just his younger neighbour kid”.
“I firmly promise.” He hooked Kook’s little finger with his own, pulled his thumb onto his and made them touch. “You can trust your hyungie right?” Kook was already shyly staring at the pavement. Oh wow, now HE was the one that needed to be intimidated? “Of course, hyung.”
Jimin couldn’t contain himself, he chuckled. Jungkook was just such a… cutie pie.
To be honest, Jungkook isn’t 10 years or even 5 years younger than Jimin. The age gap consists of 2 years. That was completely alright. However, the height difference couldn’t be overlooked. Jungkook could reach Jimin’s chest at the moment, and the older one was sure that he would grow. However, the reason why Jimin was keeping his distance with his dongsaeng, was surely not the height difference. But rather that he would not stay right by his side. He wouldn’t continue to chase him down before school, ask for his pinkie in a cutely manner, or even give him the puppy eyes, to bribe him, so he could buy him his candies and banana milk. He would disappear in thin air. Just like his friends once did.
And that was bothering Jimin more than he would admit.
“You need to promise me that you’ll always give your best. Fate always brings those together that deeply care for each other. Okay?”
Jimin grabbed Jungkook by his shoulders, a bit tougher than he actually wanted, and he had a weird feeling in his guts telling him he wouldn’t see him again. He was indeed sure in his bones of the fact Jungkook would find someone better to look up to and adore.
In the end, Jimin was a loser, who wasn’t brave enough to run after his own dreams. And that sucked. Of course, it did. Jungkook shouldn’t stay here, though. Nothing should hold him here. Not even his first childhood romance.
If you could even call it like that..
“I’ll do that.. But if you forget me…!”
Jimin noticed the tears building up in Kookie’s big doe eyes, and he couldn’t contain his own sadness. It was so odd to see him in such a condition. He thought he would make some stupid jokes and then just say bye. Now looking at him like this, was concerning him.
“Hey… Oh Kook-ah!” He gently pushed Jungkook’s back into his arms, to embrace him into a hug. With one hand, the older one was caressing his little head while the other one his back.
“Hyung, will always be there with you. You cannot see me, but I’ll be right there by your side, alright?”
“I will miss you so much hyung.” the younger one replied with a trembling voice.
“You need to return quickly. You need to know if this one,” He showed his little pale pinkie. “Of yours, grew up to become bigger than mine, huh?” Jungkook’s lips finally formed a little smile, even though his eyes were still watery and red. “I promise. But when I come back you need to promise to marry me. Don’t you dare forget.”
Even though he wouldn’t admit it now, Jimin’s eyes back then were also filling up with tears. He caressed Jungkook’s head once more before moving away from the little one and facing him.
“This is a promise.”
Yet again they gave each other their little promise gesture. And then Jungkook was gone. Vanished, you could say without even leaving a trace. He did not forget a single thing. All his toys and plushies he loved, he kept. That was a bummer. Jimin hoped to have something from him to always keep him in his memories.
The first few years, Jimin welcomed home some letters. Or messages on his phone. After some time, however, even those stopped.
~ a few years later ~
“Jimin, you owe me more than one soju bottle for doing this…?”
Yoongi massaged his own lower back, after carrying a few boxes up to Jimin’s new place. He was not born to help him out, along with it, he also wasn’t born to carry heavy boxes like that. Why did Jimin even ask Yoongi from all the people he knows to help him out? He isn’t helpful in any way. 
“Dude you brought up 2 boxes. You shouldn’t even get half of a soju bottle.” the younger one replied while lying down on the cold wooden plank. He was exhausted and didn’t even know why he was still going to college. He fucked up his first semester because he chose to listen to his parents and studied hotel management. Hotel management? From all the subjects the world has to offer, he chose fucking hotel management? Thankfully, he found his better half in the same classes and funny thing is he also seemed out of place.
His parents were not so happy to hear that. But in the end they accepted his choice and let him study whatever he wants. As long as he still went to college they didn’t care anymore.
In a way he was happy, but he was also fucking tired and disappointed in himself. Why did he even listen to his parent’s advice in the first place?
“I’m your sunbae, and the most important thing is that I’m your hyung. So, don’t be such a disrespectful piece of trash and be thankful that I was there to help you out.”
Yoongi scoffed back while he poked Jimin’s chest with his pale finger.
The younger one rolled his eyes and made some space for Yoongi to lay next to him on the floor. Even though there was a cheap sofa just a few meters away from them, on this hot summer day the best and also free thing was to just lay down on the floor. Jimin wasn’t rich in any way, so therefore he couldn’t afford an AC.
“Taehyung was too busy with his girlfriend. Hoseok hyung was too busy with his college work and the others were out partying.”
Yoongi shrugged his shoulders and took a sip from his lukewarm beer that Jimin bought him on their way to get here. He wasn’t necessarily into partying, especially not when it was that hot outside. Jimin was also the only one he was cool with, hanging out with him didn’t get on his nerves. That was a plus. And as long as he got his soju, he gives zero fucks.
“I’m the best hyung you have. Just sayin’.” He stood up pretty quickly from the cold wooden floor and offered his hand to the now blonde-haired boy. “Soju time.” Yoongi stick out his tongue and squeezed his eyes. Jimin couldn’t prevent himself from laughing. This hyung got some fairly good aegyo talent if alcohol was in play.
*
“Cheers!”
It was pretty late now. Jimin was starting to get tired and was unsure if he could pay for all the soju bottles they were destroying. “Hyung, how about you slow down a bit? I don’t think I can pay up for all of this.” Jimin was starting to count the tteokbokki and the soju bottles that they already devoured. 1, 2, 3, 4… no. It was impossible. He already was broke. He was happy that he could pay for even one bottle.
“Don’t worry too much. I knew you would say that. I asked for one bottle so just pay up for one if you want to.”
Jimin looked at him suspiciously, uncertain in what he was up to. Soon after he just gave up and stopped assuming that his older friend expected something from him in return. He was too drunk in the first place, thinking shouldn’t be an option.
“Come on, let’s get home. You look so drunk.”
“Am. Not?”
Jimin has always gotten pretty sassy and showed his big temper when he was drunk. It made Yoongi laugh, so he just played along.
“Okay, little one. Let’s go. Tomorrow is Uni-Day.”
Jimin tried. Standing up was hard, he felt like his eyes were coated with tiny little clouds. And his head was starting to ache really bad. “Hyung, please. Help me…” He pouted while searching for his hyung with his hands.
Little did Jimin know, Yoongi was actually paying for the food and the alcohol, snickering as he glanced at the helpless little blonde boy. It was always a different kind of entertainment to watch Jimin being drunk. And he adored that.
“Come on!”
Yoongi dragged Jimin out of the bar and linked his arms with his. Just to be careful. He could never be sure if he’s up to something. Drunk people are like kids. You can’t read their thoughts, and suddenly they’re crying because they’re doing something stupid.
“Hmm, which Bus should we take..?”
While Yoongi was looking through his phone, Jimin started observing his surroundings. It was pretty dark and refreshing to stand outside after drinking so much, with the weather tingling him. And he realised how happy he was that he didn’t barf tonight. It was an improvement for him.
The night still was young, one could never know.
While Jimin looked at all the posters glued on the windows and doors of the neighbour’s bars and restaurants, there was a specific one whom caught his attention.The boy on the poster looked so familiar…
Oh no. The boy on the poster… Is none other than…
That was damn Jeon Jungkook!
Jimin felt the puke climbing its way up to his throat, and he was so not welcoming it.
“Hyung… I think.. I need to..”
There we go.
“FUCK.”
*
After last night’s encounter with poster Jungkook, Jimin had such a bad mood that nothing on this planet could have cheered him up. And that fucking sucked.
His friends tried their best, but as they realised that even Mr. Kim’s class was not cheering him up a bit, they became worried.
“Jimin, you want some boba? I could buy some boba!”
Hoseok was really good at cheering up. He was such a funny spirit and always used his best words. But not even Hoseokie hyung’s jokes and cuddles or boba could cheer him up. If the older one could mix some magical powder in his boba, so he would forget all the heart-breaking memories he had with Jungkook… Then he would sure as hell take it.
“No, I gotta head to work. I’ll just drink coffee there.”
He grabbed his bag and trotted his way to the cafe where he worked part-time. Why was he even miserable in the first place? Jungkook was just a little boy back then –12 years old to be exact– thinking he was in love with him. That was it. How could a child know what real love was? Besides, why should Jimin care in the first place, when he already knew it was just a kindergarten love?
His headache was still not gone, and he was sure it did not entirely just come from alcohol…
“Hello, Noona.”
Jimin bowed towards his boss and grabbed his apron. Working in the cafe wasn’t even bad. He loved it to a certain amount. It was relaxing and soothing to create drinks and serve cakes and macarons. But he doubted that work today will help him overcome his past love.
“What’s wrong? Did you fail a test or something?”
Yoona washed her hands and prepared everything for Jimin to take over. She was two years older than him, and he was thankful for that. Jimin had no clue how to interact with people that were either way older than him or way younger than him.
“Nah, it’s just my brain.” He raised his index finger, pointed at his brain and took a deep sigh. “Overthinking.”
His older friend smiled lightly and tapped on his shoulder. “I don’t know what the problem is. But you will eventually overcome it. I promise.”
He nods, starting to cut some fruits to prepare some boba tea. It helped him to ignore Jungkook who was desperately trying to contact him in his head. Repeatedly knocking on his brain and crying out his name like a mantra: “Jiminie hyung!”
If that wasn’t bad enough.. Yoona forgot to tell him that there was a fancafe event today.
For Jungkook himself.
Jimin felt how his heart started to burst. Why was he so dependent on him? He didn’t see him for years and now suddenly after so many years he was following him around?
“Uhm, sir?”
A young girl, who was definitely still a high schooler, stood in front of the cash register and looked him straight in the eyes.
“We got permission from the Lady who was working here before. Just.. to be clear.”
He nodded, tried to smile, and gave her the permission again. Complimenting how beautiful the cafe looked and that they were doing a good job.
What should he even do? Be mad at the girl for being a fan? No. It wasn’t her fault.
“If you need help or anything. Say so.” He quickly continued and made his way to his best friend Taehyung, who was already sitting at his table.
“The usual?”
Tae nodded while glancing around at the cafe now full of Jungkook’s face. The tables were plastered with cups and cupcakes with Jungkook’s pictures, his name and birthdate. Of course, it was Jungkook’s birthday today. He completely forgot…
“Can I get my latte with this cup?” Taehyung tried to imitate Jungkook’s expression on the cup and gave the expression a little silly twist. Thankfully, the girls were busy putting posters on the wall, that they didn’t acknowledge him at all. The last thing he wanted, was a mob full of teenage girls getting at his nerves for disrespecting their “oppa”.
“Don’t ruin the fun for the fans. If that’s the way they want to show their love, they should.”
Taehyung looked up to him, confused. Since when was Jimin so nonchalant about events like that? He was literally the first one to complain about these girls or even boys who came to decorate the cafe with the handsome faces of the idols. The blonde-haired boy even went that far to call them “the slaves of the rich”.
“Anyway..” He stood up and followed Jimin to his working area. Taehyung would always order the same thing. A latte, a turkey sandwich, and a piece of the famous walnut cake. Jimin sometimes wondered if he wasn’t bored with picking the same order over and over again. But what did he care? As long as he was near him and could watch over him being an emotional mess and maybe even interfere if he were doing too much nonsense, he didn’t care at all.
“Did you see these girls? They are putting the posters up there like their lives are depending on it, it’s just a goddamn birthday of some self-centred sexy looking boy.”
Taehyung took a big sip of his latte and gave a disgusted expression.
Oh boy if you knew..
“Ah, by the way, I actually got to know the ‘self-centred-sexy looking boy’.
His best friend choked on the latte and stared at him, completely bewildered, and gave him a look. “No way..?!” Jimin shrugged his shoulders and put his food on the glass table in front of him. “Not a big deal, we were good friends back in Busan.” He casually responded as if it were the most normal thing that could happen to someone.
“And when did you think it was appropriate to tell me ?” Taehyung took a bite of his sandwich and skilfully avoided any eye contact with the smaller one. Jimin did not even need to look at him to know that he was probably pouting while eating to give him a guilty conscience.
Why should he feel guilty though? Everything happened way back in the past. Sometimes it’s better to let the past go. And the same rule was also directed to Kookie.
“You have something to say to me?” Jimin responded after a while. Shouldn’t it be Jimin’s choice to choose when to talk about specific things? Why is everyone always coming at him when he hid something from them? Doesn’t he have the right for privacy?
“Nah nothing. I was just wondering how you’ve gotten to know him. He’s pretty popular nowadays.”
“We were childhood friends.”
Taehyung raised his eyebrows and his eyes widened. He didn’t expect that Jimin was friends with the upcoming next ‘Taeyang’. Funny how one always discovers something new about their best friends.
“And you’re still in contact?” Taehyung suddenly started to welcome the idea of his best friend knowing a famous idol, that could open so many doors for them. Dreamily, he put a fork full of cake in his mouth. Just thinking that people would try to be friends with them and act like they are celebrities themselves made him cheerful. According to Taehyung, they weren’t exactly losers or anything, but they weren’t associated with the cool kids either. Jungkook could open so many doors for him.. and Jimin of course!
“Nah. He stopped writing me back.”
It was actually Jimin that stopped. But the questions on “why” and “how” would be too annoying for him, so he realised lying wouldn’t be that bad.
“Aw shit that sucks.”
After Jimin’s confession, they both stopped talking for a while. Taehyung confessed that he still had some schoolwork overdue and that he would concentrate on that, and Jimin stated that he was still in preparation for today’s work. However, both were still in eyesight to each other. Here and there they shared some moments, but overall, they did their own thing.
That was refreshing to Jimin.
Maybe he was selfish for being so demanding and wanting Taehyung to be near him. And also wanting him to be silent and letting him do his work, without interruption. Yet, at moments like these, he realised how much he actually respected their friendship and also how they’re both complete opposites from each other.
Taehyung was a pretty outgoing, friendly, and charming guy. Girls loved him and were undressing him with their stares when he was walking around campus, and guys wanted to be his friend, sending him invitations to notorious parties. In addition, he was also humble and disagreed with the fact that he was in any way “popular”. He was that clueless that he would make plans on how to get into parties that were from popular seniors but hasn’t realised that he indeed was literally the most treasured and desired boy in the whole campus. The majority of seniors weren’t interested in him, however they knew him. To the point that he would receive cute messages from pretty noonas.
Okay, maybe the seniors were indeed interested in him, but they had a big ego, and wouldn’t give him invitations, nevertheless.
A typical case of not knowing what is in front of your nose but wanting something that you’ll never get.
Jimin however… He was a hopeless loser.
Girls didn’t give a single shit about him, guys were ignoring him and would only greet him when Taehyung or his senior friends were next to him. He wasn’t interesting and he realised that fact one too many times. The only thing he was good for was when his colleagues wanted to get close to his friends through him. And that was nice for both sides. Jimin’s friends knew whom to ignore from now on, and the girls and guys who were trying had the hope to get closer to them.
What a shitshow.
The only great thing about college nowadays was that he actually had some real friends he could count on.
Thinking about the way his friends knew little of Jungkook made him feel glum. They pretty much knew a great deal about him, he told them everything. His relationship with his younger brother, his parents, his assholes of friends back then. But he always let Jungkook out. Even though he played such a big part in his life once.
And still does.
Yearningly he looked back to Taehyung, who had his earplugs in and typed something in his MacBook. He wanted to tell him how much he actually missed Jungkook. How much he loved him back then, and how sorry he was that he stopped replying.
The guilt in his intestines was driving him wild.
Maybe that was the problem. He was running away from the responsibility over their relationship. Why was he even scared? He had no clue.
Why did he stop replying? He knew how shy and insecure Jungkook was back then. He even wrote to him once, that he felt like crying whenever his fellow trainee-hyungs were interrogating him about his interests. And that he would look himself up just to take a long deep breath. After all the confessions the younger one made, Jimin just stopped replying? He was disgusted. And disappointed in himself.
Perhaps that was the reason why he was so remorseful and so careful to bring him up.
This was the first time he had friends. And he didn’t want them to leave him too.
On the other side, he felt guilty. Wanting to know if what he did was really that bad, or that maybe in any way, his friends would understand and forgive him.
“Taehyung-ah?”
Jimin raised his voice slightly. Not wanting to gain attention from Jungkook’s fans. He assumed the girls were nearly done with their work. They decorated the cafe in pastel colours and all the posters were already hanging on the wall. Apparently the only thing they still were working on was the TV, trying to connect it with their phones, possibly to put on some music videos.
“Tae?”
He raised his voice one more time. Again, not getting an answer.
“Now or Never” he thought.
Taehyung was his best friend, the only same aged friend he had to be exact. Why couldn’t he just be a hundred percent honest with him?
The blonde-haired boy walked towards the little table that was plastered full of Taehyung’s books, a notebook and his MacBook. He hoped for Taehyung to understand him and maybe even help him out to forget Jungkook. After so many years the younger one would’ve forgotten about him anyway…
“Something’s wrong?” Taehyung saw Jimin’s agonized expression and it worried him. He surveyed the restaurant. No one. The guests were perhaps put off by the girls that discussed vocally about the pictures that should be taken and didn’t even dare to enter the little cafe. Due to the minority of guests, he grabbed Jimin’s wrist and made him sit next to him.
“Finally! Will you tell me what’s been bothering you for so long?" 
It sounded like he impatiently spitted these words out, but Taehyung was just worried. And maybe even a bit annoyed. Jimin wouldn’t keep things from him for so long. Most of the time he would write him a message, and Taehyung helped him out by cheering him up. Of course, there were also times where that wasn’t enough. Then, he would come pick his friend up without him realising, drag him to the closest "McDonalds” and have a late snack together. That’s just how things worked out between them. 
Now seeing that his best friend was hiding something from him, and that it was overall bothering him to the point that he was spreading this bad mood around… Was especially concerning to him. 
How could Jimin even decline Hobi hyung’s offer to boba?! 
“There is so much that I didn’t tell you. And I feel fucking guilty. Seriously…”
Jimin’s voice started to break, and he needed to fight against his tears. He was so frightened that his friend would end this friendship, when he found out that he let the 13-year-old Jungkook back then, down. Mostly, because Jimin was kind of the caretaker of their little friend group. That also applied to Taehyung’s girlfriend who also was a pretty close friend to Jimin. If they find out about Jungkook maybe they’ll stop trusting him altogether.
��Bro.. that’s okay. Tell me. You make me all scared right now.” Taehyung grabbed Jimin’s cold hand and put his own two hands on it. “Does it have something to do with that Jungkook guy?” Jimin gulped. He needed to be completely honest with him about this. About his feelings and in general, about the relationship he shared with his once younger friend. 
“Yeah, actually it does.” Jimin responded, while still staring at their hands. It helped him a lot to feel Taehyung’s hands on his own. He once noticed how much tanner he was than him. And he remembered once again how different they are from each other. Even when it came to things like outer appearance. 
So then, after recollecting his thoughts, he spilled everything out. How they both shared this deep-rooted relationship, and how both shared the mutual trust and love in each other. He revealed every single point, and how Jungkook made him feel. Even though, back then, he was younger and smaller than him. Kookie was the only one that understood him and stood by his side. 
Jimin was sharing all these intimate moments that he had with his dongsaeng, while he didn’t recognize how Taehyung was smiling widely about the way he mentioned cute little habits that Jungkook possessed and even the grimaces he once did to cheer him up. Talking about these habits eventually helped Jimin to overcome his tension about this topic. 
“I told you that he stopped replying, remember?" 
Taehyung still extremely interested and who seemingly forgot that he had schoolwork to do, nodded while rubbing his thumb on Jimin’s outer hand. 
"Well, that’s not the entire truth… I was the one who stopped replying to him." 
His friend was in point of fact a bit surprised, but he wasn’t angry or disappointed. More rather he wondered why Jimin did that to be exact. 
"It’s just so complicated. He was writing to me about his hardships and I had this weird feeling that I couldn’t help him out. I also missed him so much and every time I would start a new letter my hands always mindlessly wrote the words "just come back home Jungkook-ah, hyung misses you”. Even though it was selfish of me. Then I–”
He finally gained the courage to look his friends in the eye. “I just stopped replying whatsoever.“ 
Now, it was over. He said everything completely honest and every single word that was spoken came out of his heart. The desperate wish that Taehyung would understand was still booming in his head.  
"Jimin-ah… That’s okay." 
Was everything that came out from his better half. And even that seemed enough for a second. 
*
It was now time to head home. Taehyung insisted on bringing him and on the way they could order some food. The black-haired boy knew that Jimin wouldn’t eat anything if something was bothering him, and he always remembered how his mom constantly told him that eating some delicious food was always a good way to forget about all the small melancholic things in life. Even if it was just a few hours.
"Let’s order some chicken with some beer. That’s perfect for this ugly weather." 
Even though it was blazing hot yesterday, today it was heavily raining. Without Taehyung’s umbrella they sure as hell would have a problem. 
After their conversation, Taehyung wanted to actually strangle Jimin for even thinking he would end this friendship just because of some idol boy. He made some jokes to cheer him up, and told him numerous times that it was alright. There was a solid reason why he didn’t write back, and if there was ever going to be a moment where Jungkook and Jimin eventually meet, from the way Jimin was describing him, Jungkook would understand.
"I just want to let this go, you know. But I don’t know if screaming out of my lungs or breaking stuff will help me.” Jimin stated sadly, while nibbling on his fried chicken. He actually was hungry, but eating was exhausting to him. 
All he had in his mind was Jungkook.
In one picture, little Jungkook who was crying and repeatedly asking why he abandoned him, and in a different picture there was Jungkook, all grown up, ignoring him on purpose and burning all the letters that he ever sent to him. 
“This might be a super stupid idea… But how about you write him a letter, telling him in all details what happened ? Like, why you stopped writing back and stuff." 
In all honesty, that sounded like a good idea to the blond. He can imagine how just writing down the words "I’m sorry” will clear up his guilty conscience. There was also no possible way that Jungkook would read it, either way. He was such a popular idol nowadays, he definitely received tons of letters every day. 
“No, I actually think that may help me…" 
Taehyung gifted his best friend a boxy smile while he put some fried chicken on his own plate. He always had a strong appetite. Looking at his friend eat so happily made Jimin full in a second. 
"When you finish writing, send me your letter if you want.”
Jimin looked at him like a scared puppy. How could he possibly show him this side of himself? All sensitive and vulnerable? 
He would rather stab himself. 
“No, that’s fine. I’ll just write what comes to mind and send it." 
Taehyung gave him a thumbs up with a pout. A cute habit he had while eating. Jimin smiled brightly and gave him one of his fried chicken that was sitting on his plate for some time. Eating wouldn’t calm down his stomach, which was now full of little butterflies. 
*
03:00 am.
Jimin was laying on the wooden floor. Slightly banging his head repeatedly against the tile, hoping something good will pop up in his brain.
As soon as Taehyung left, Jimin mindlessly, started to walk around his little apartment. Wishing with every step, for something good to pop out of his head, maybe some artistic poetic words? A simple sorry wouldn’t be enough, that’s all he knew.
Just like that, time passed. 
Jimin didn’t know what to say. He was too inflicted with himself and thought that no matter what he wrote, he could never be forgiven. Right there at this moment he wondered what Jungkook did right now. It was definitely ridiculously hard to be an idol, especially nowadays where K-Pop started to go viral around the globe. 
When he was younger, he always imagined while writing letters to his younger friend, what Jungkook was doing right at that moment. Back then it felt like the letter was even more sincere. 
So, what did he think Jungkook was doing right now?
He imagined him playing around with his guitar or game till sunrise. Jungkook was always a night owl, staying up pretty late and coping with the fact that he rarely slept. Even though he would feel how his eyelids start to fall on their own, he would still stubbornly, force himself to stay awake. That was something they both had in common. 
The older one remembered the times where he would sit in front of his house trying desperately to finish off his homework, while the younger one would walk up to him all ninja style and annoy him with questions. All of it happening at midnight of course. 
The desperate wish of Jimin was that Jungkook was still like, well.. Jungkook. 
Humble, adorable, funny, dorky.
As he thought of his past love, he immediately grabbed his pen and wrote down a sincere letter. Being honest with him, telling him how his life went these couple of years,  finishing off with a confession, that the younger once always wanted to hear him say:
"I once wholeheartedly loved you, and I still do." 
*
"Aw damn.." 
Hoseok stared at him like the emoji with the big eyes, that was perfectly matching to him. Jimin finally had the guts to confess to his other friends what actually really happened, and surprisingly they were all super nice about it. 
Deep down, he knew they would understand. However, it still made him happy to see that they were so invested in his little complicated love story. 
"You could literally make a whole movie about this…?” Jin stated while looking afar and making a weird gesture, implying a camera. “It would be like "The Notebook” just reversed.“ 
"I don’t really want to see this in movie theatres though, that would just be weird." 
Namjoon always acted a bit awkward when it came to romantic stories or even love stories in general. He would always listen to their stories about their hook-ups or their genuine crushes, but he never gave a weird noise off himself, like a high-pitched “aww” or something, that he thought something was cut. Just simply listened, maybe gave some advice, and then he would go on correcting Jin on his bullshit. 
Classic Namjoon’s.
"I don’t even think he will write back or something… I wrote him, yeah that’s true.. But I don’t expect a reply." 
All his friends at the table stared him down. Ready to kick his small little ass. 
"Jimin you stupid fucking moron.” He glared at the pale boy who was finally eager to state his own opinion on this. 
Min Yoongi in his whole presence. 
Just a few minutes ago, he was all uninterested, poking in his salad and asking random people for advice on a history exam he had in a few hours. Likewise, Jimin also tried not to give two shits about his advice whatsoever. So why did he suddenly catch interest in it? 
“If you really think he wouldn’t reply, then that makes you again the weaker person." 
Trying not to look too engrossed, he gave his leftover fries to Taehyung’s girlfriend, Jess, who happily devoured them. He was absolutely good at avoiding eye contact, his hyung could try everything to lock eyes with him but he would never let him. 
"You described him as the nice, funny and understanding guy. Do you really think he didn’t wait every day for you to write him back?" 
Fuck, he had a point there. Rather than giving in, Jimin rolled his eyes and continued to stroke his untouched burger with his index finger. "I don’t know. There might be a chance that he changed." 
Yoongi’s little scoff was loud enough to witness and in the corner of his eye he could see him resting his hand on his forehead. His face screaming: absolutely irritated. 
"How would you know? You might haven’t even changed at all? What kind of hypocrisy is it in making yourself believe that he changed just because he got his share of fame? Have a little trust in him, would you?" 
Now Jimin started to get a bit frustrated. What did he even expect from him in the first place? That he would wait all day till the mail arrives and then cry his eyes out after realising Jungkook didn’t write back? He was not even expecting that, so why should he drive himself into doing it? 
"Hyung how about you mind your own business, huh?" 
Yoongi rolled his eyes, grabbed his notes and backpack while staring at him in disbelief before leaving.
The atmosphere now was absolutely awkward.
"I know you don’t wanna hear this… But Mister Min has a point there.”
Hoseok broke the silence. Thankfully, all the others sighed in relief and nodded their heads.
“Have a bit of trust in him. I’m not saying that you should wait for him every day to write you back or something. But just…”
His lips closed, teeth clenched, and his eyes twitched due to him urging them to close. Waiting for his brain to come up with a good word.
“Patience!”
He screamed, pointing at the confused Jimin who was now sliding back into his seat. Extremely embarrassed.
“Sorry.” He chortled. “Was I too loud?”
Tae brushed it off by making a gesture to make him continue his started speech.
“Anyways… You need to stay patient. Find a balance. Don’t be too disappointed every day, but also don’t give up on him. Give him his time.”
Everyone who was seated, slowly started to get up either going to classes or getting back to the dorms. Except for Jimin and Taehyung.
Jimin’s best friend was just staring at him. Hoping to see some kind of change of heart. He wanted the best for him, after all Jimin was always there for him too.
“And?”
Taehyung broke off the silence once again, while coughing the word out.
The blonde-haired boy peeled off the etiquette on his “Gatorade” bottle, and just nodded. What else should he even do at this point. 
He knew that they were actually saying the right thing. Even Yoongi hyung. Nevertheless, it was hard to stay calm about it. Jungkook was always someone he wanted to be close with, but he never had the guts to do something about it. Not to mention, playing it off, telling himself that it was just a kindergarten crush. When in reality it wasn’t.
“Stay strong dude. See you later?”
Giving him just one last little pat on the shoulder, he left.
Letting Jimin drown alone in his thoughts.
*
And like that the days went by. Pretty quickly, even Jimin needed to admit to that. 
College, work, hanging out with friends. All of that. Everyday.
Jungkook creeping up in his thoughts here and there, but never to such an extent as he expected. When he ate something, whereas he knew that Jungkook once loved too, he would think of him for a brief moment. And that was all. Smiling for a bit and then erasing him from his thoughts for the rest of the day. After days full of insomnia and lack of appetite… Finally, he felt like he could let go. 
It turned out that it was easier for him to let Kook go, even though he was sure that there was simply no chance that he would have read the letter the older wrote for him. 
Still… something about just writing his thoughts on a sheet of paper made him feel absolutely relieved. 
It felt like he sent these feelings and honest thoughts to Jungkook. Just in a weird and telepathic way. 
“Do you have the notes from that one lecture… uhm.. where we talked about 'The Catcher in the Rye’?”
As always Taehyung was grabbing Jimin back into reality. 
“Huh?" 
Jimin took his airpods out of his ears. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, confused as to what he wanted from him. 
They always studied together, especially when it came to the exams from Mr. Kim. Even though he was extremely awesome and an outstanding professor, he also expected thrice as much. 
Taehyung grabbed his notes, that were uhm… not really there? 
Jimin chuckled, going through his hair while searching for that one specific lecture where Kim was discussing Holden Caulfield’s character and if anyone felt the same as him in a specific time in their life. The blonde remembered that he was discussing with him a lot about that issue yet being careful about touching any parts that matched Holden’s character to his. 
He loved analysing the characters, and deep down he also loved to take a harsh comparison to them with himself. 
Holden was such a free nature, he never listened or cared about his environment and what they thought was the right thing for him. He just did what he needed to do, maybe even exaggerating a bit, in the process of finding himself. 
Jimin was actually the counterpart of him. He always cared and wanted to be accepted by his friends and family. Mentally, however he also felt like Holden. Trapped in a society where you needed to fulfil someone else’s dream, or someone else’s path. But what if one’s path was different? What if he doesn’t want to go to school, be an ace student and marry some women and create his own family? What if he just wants to do his own thing? Concentrating on just being happy? 
"Here we go.” He handed his friend a perfect 5-piece sheet of notes of all the analysing points Kim addressed. Just as Taehyung was grabbing the notes, his eyes started to glitter full of relief. 
“What would I ever do without you Jimin-ah!” Jimin winked at him, while offering him some honey butter chips. “You would terribly suffer.” He replied while trying to imitate a darker voice.  
Like that, they continued their work, helping each other out if there were some specific questions, reading out the passages of J. D. Salinger’s novel, and repeating all the points Kim addressed. 
“Ah shit.” Taehyung looked at his phone, quickly packing up his things and closing his MacBook. 
Jimin smiled, he forgot the time once again and realised he needed to go to some date with Jess. 
Typical Taehyung. 
“Hurry up or I’ll snitch on Jess the next time and make you bad!” Jimin replied quite happily, while smacking his friend’s ass with his book. 
“Dude don’t. That woman will stare at me with her medusa eyes!” He continued while grabbing things with a rushing panic, throwing it into his bag. 
Of course, it was all jokes and fun, and Jess would always forgive him no matter what. Due to Taehyung being extremely loveable of course. They had the best relationship, Jimin could think of. Both were the most amazing human beings, and their relationship was so healthy. He wished that one day, he would meet that one person too. And fell head over heels for someone. Hopefully once again. In the near future. 
“Ah Jiminie…" 
Jimin, who was still laying on his bed, looked over to the door frame where Taehyung was standing and still in the process of wearing his shoes. 
"I’m so happy that you are doing better." 
Jimin just smiled lightly as a reply, waving with his hand, indicating that he should leave already. A quick "love you, bye!” and then he was gone. 
The blonde went back into laying on his stomach, grabbing the novel. It looked horrible, completely read out and crinkled. Showing how much, he actually loved it. 
Just like that, the late afternoon turned into an early night. 
Taehyung came along with him after a lecture they visited together. They both ordered food, as always, and then started to switch their notes. Of course, Jimin was more thorough when it came to writing notes, but it didn’t bother him at all to help his friend out. Tae was amazingly good at analysing. Thoughts that he never imagined would come up in Tae’s brain in an instant. 
Such an intelligent but absolutely lazy boy. 
Now it was already past 8pm. The thought of needing to eat was alarming in the back of his head. But he was exhausted and just wanted to sleep. 
After a quick search, he found a single pack of Ramen. He quickly put the pot on the stove and waited till the water heated up. 
Suddenly, he heard someone knocking on his door. 
His doorbell stopped working for some reason, so therefore his friends would just message him that they were there. Taehyung was the only one who would knock, but first, he was already gone and secondly, he had a weird knocking style.
He would abuse his door as a percussion to be exact.
“Who is it?” He anxiously raised his voice a little. But still no reaction. 
“Whoever that may be. Can you just tell me who you are?" 
Still no reaction. After a while, the person started to knock again. 
Jimin was prepared for moments like these. He quickly grabbed a pretty unsharp butter knife and put his ear on the cheap door. He could swear he heard someone snickering. His heartbeat was increasing rapidly. 
One hand was wandering from the door to the knob, while the other held tightly the grip on the knife. 
Slowly he opened the door, his heart stopping momentarily, after seeing someone who seemed to be dressed completely in black. 
Thank god, the person had some great taste though that’s for sure.
First he saw the shoes, just some plain black converse chucks, then his eyes wandered up to the person’s pants. Also black, with some chains dangling around the area where the pockets were. Once he found his way to the person’s torso, the man was grabbing him by his arms. 
The smaller one from both of them, who seemingly was Jimin, started to shut down his eyes. Completely terrified. 
"Hyung? Can you just stop the games and look me straight in the eye?” The taller man broke the silent awkward atmosphere. 
For some reason, the voice sounded so familiar but at the same time completely foreign. 
Jimin opened his eyes slowly, looking up to the man, still squinting. 
“It’s me. Jungkookie." 
*
Silence. 
Awkwardness…
Now sitting in front of each other, Jimin felt completely bamboozled. 
Was this some reality show? 
"Your tea is getting cold… there..” Jimin raised his index finger and aimed for the little teacup. 
“Ah yeah. That’s fine. I’m not really here to drink tea to be honest." 
The younger one, took a sip from his tea while staring, confidently, at the older one. 
Jimin quickly looked away, feeling how his heart started to go crazy in his chest. 
"Hyung, how have you been?” Jungkook came closer to him, dragging the chair as close as possible to the table, staring at the nervous hands of the older one. 
“Nothing much. Just college stuff." 
Biting on his under lip, he realised how happy he felt but at the same time his guilt started to come back and nagged on his intestines. 
"Oh hyung.” Jungkook rolled his eyes while grabbing Jimin’s tiny hands. It was an unexpected gesture. Kook’s hands however, were so warm. Jimin’s hands in comparison were freezing cold. Jimin realised that he appeased himself more.
“I’m sorry, Kookie…" 
Here he was. Sitting in front of him. Holding his hands, as if he was the one that fucked up. Even though it needed to be the other way around. 
"I fucked up.”
He couldn’t handle the emotions that were starting to tear him apart. The complete opposite sides of emotions were clashing with each other, overwhelming him. Happiness on one hand, since Jungkook finally found his way back to him, but sadness because he felt like he did not deserve it. Relief, as it seemed like Jungkook came back to accept his letter, but on the other hand also guilt. Since it was not fair of him to believe that he would gladly do that. 
“Hyung…” Jungkook’s grip on Jimin’s hands was tighter now and while he looked at him, smiling softly, seeing the tears flowing down on the pale skin of the older one, he couldn’t overcome his heart bursting. Seeing him like this was not his aim. Not at all. 
Jungkook closed his eyes, pulling Jimin’s hands closer to him. Dragging him softly to him, so that Jimin had no choice but to slightly get dragged up on the table. 
Softly, he kissed Jimin’s hands. Making Jimin just sob even louder than he was before. 
“No, you didn’t.” Jungkook’s voice broke. 
Jimin looked at him. Frightened that he made him cry as well.
The black-haired boy was still covering his face with Jimin’s hands. It felt so natural, and there was no sign of weirdness in the air. Something about this touch felt too familiar. 
And then he realised…
When they were younger, Jimin would always grab Kookie’s hands and lay them on his cheeks. It was something he always did when Kookie would run behind him before school. And quickly, Kookie would turn silent. Acting shy. 
What both never really knew was, that both of their hearts were beating strongly. Together. 
“I’m so sorry too." 
Finally looking up from the older’s hands. "I missed you a lot." 
Jimin smiled. Standing up, while still having Jungkook’s hands intertwined with his. Jungkook followed his action, also standing up. The height difference made him chuckle even more. And quickly like that the tears were forgotten. 
"I missed you so much.” Jimin replied, while falling onto the younger’s chest. 
So many years, both of them were silently loving each other. Trying to forget, trying to erase all the memories. But it was impossible. And now both of them were here, standing in Jimin’s crappy apartment holding each other in their arms and forgetting the hurtful years that they lived without each other. 
“But wait a second!” Jungkook broke away from the hug, quickly wiping his tears, and then grabbing Jimin’s hand once again. 
“Hmm let’s take a look…" 
"Aw come on. Really? Still, to this day?" 
Jimin just chuckled, while Jungkook was testing out if his pinkie was finally taller than Jimin’s. And of course, it was. There was no need to even look. Jungkook’s hands were enormous in comparison to Jimin’s tiny hands. 
"You know what that means?" 
The blonde just laughed and quickly hit the younger one’s chest rapidly. 
"First we need to have some dates. Don’t you think?" 
Jungkook rolled his eyes, while dragging the younger one back into his arms. "So many problems along the way. Horrible!” He joked, while grabbing Jimin’s head softly, dragging him onto his chest.
The older one took the chance to take in the beautiful smell of Jungkook. It was hard to describe, something sweet but in the same way not extremely intrusive. Rather delicate, soft. He could swear somewhere while smelling it, he could sense… lavender? And in an absolute weird way… He swore that he also smelt the only perfume his mom would wear back then. 
While his head was still dug into Jungkook’s chest, he felt how his eyes formed tears once again. He felt like he smelt all the mesmerizing things again that was once everyday life. Jungkook smelt like Busan, like his dog “Doraemon” and like all the cherry popsicles they both blissfully devoured. 
He smelt like home. 
Jimin realised how much he missed his hometown. He had the urge to go back and just relive everything with Kookie. 
All these thoughts rushed into his mind, and it made him feel hopeful for the future. 
He looked up to the black haired boy who was still snickering cutely, and Jimin had the urge to poke his cheeks. He was so adorable, the way he smiled, had the same impact on him like a single shot of soju. It loosened his nerves and he felt like he wasn’t as tense anymore. 
He had a feeling that he could fight every problem that would come to tackle him, eye to eye. 
“Do you want to stay overnight?" 
Jimin silently asked. Wishing he would accept his offer. 
Jungkook hugged him even tighter, as if Jimin would run away from him, if he said no. "I wish I could say yes… But I can’t. Not today." 
Jimin nodded, while poking his nose against the younger’s hard chest. "I cannot wait till you can." 
*
The light of the sun was shining through the thin curtain. Sun rays tickling the blonde’s face, waking him up softly. 
Jimin was confused. It was already morning? He would normally wake up in between his restless sleep, sometimes he would even lay in bed and stop wishing for sleep. Just accepting that he won’t sleep. 
His dear old friend insomnia. 
However, yesterday was different. He fell asleep right there, as if somebody were using a remote controlling him. Pushing the "off” button. 
It felt like weeks where Jimin was last sleeping peacefully. It was a relieving feeling. No headache was awaiting him, or the urge to chug down  5 cups of coffee to get through the day. 
Of course his problems were still awaiting him nonetheless. Yet the anxiety… was on a way lower level. He felt like he could easily confront his frustration as well as his insecurities. 
He was hopeful. 
And just as that, he realised how much time he actually had left. Enough to take a longer shower, and even enough to eat a little breakfast. 
Normally “breakfast” wasn’t included in his life. Time was always running, and he rarely had time to dress up. 
Today was an exception whatsoever.
While making him a little breakfast that included coffee, eggs some tomatoes and bread his phone vibrated quite aggressively on the kitchen counter. 
Quickly, he grabbed his phone, at the same time also trying to manage his eggs who were really close to burning. 
“Jimin-ssi, did you sleep well? I want to see you. Let’s meet up shouldn’t we? I will be there next to you sooner or later. Wait for me. I want to surprise you.”
P.S: Also here is a little something for you :3" 
Jungkook always drew little sketches back then in Busan, and would deliver it to Jimin in all different ways. It was a cute habit, and Jimin was sure he still had the sketches somewhere in a box. 
The sketch that Kook drew this time, involved someone who seemed to smile shyly. His cheeks were all smudgy, probably on purpose to give it a cute look. The eyes of that person were covered by someone else’s hands. Who that person was, is not known. You couldn’t really see the body of that person, just the hands that were caressing the smiling person’s eyes. 
The person was no one other than Jimin himself. 
He was awed by how good Jungkook’s sketch looked. It was drawn quickly, but he seemed to work on the details after the first outline. Like the smudged grey pencil stains on the cheek, or the shadows that he must’ve drawn quickly afterwards. 
It made him feel cherished. 
Jungkook took the time out of his own busy life to draw this little painting of them, and it made him fall even more in love with him.
* “Damn, Jimin is everything alright?” Jin went through Jimin’s blonde hair, then caressing his forehead checking as if he had high temperature. In return he rolled his eyes trying to push Jin’s hands away. “He seems so cheerful and motivated today? He even contributed to Ms. Hwang’s class… Puhhh..!” Jess dropped her backpack on the table and continued to rub her temples. Ms. Hwang was an old grumpy lady who wasn’t born to teach at all. There was no respect to her students whatsoever and anything that she liked, was mostly the same opinion she had, or people who just kissed her ass for the sweet extra credit. A horrible prof, how it should be presented in the dictionary. “I don’t know. It’s just nice. I feel like things are getting better for me… I don’t know..?” One by one, everyone started to take a seat. As if they telepathically saw Jimin with good mood, and couldn’t believe it. “So how is Jungkook?” Yoongi asked, quite interested. That was completely shocking to anyone who sat at the table, they looked at him as if they were worried. “You really care?” Jimin asked, once again avoiding eye contact. “Yup. I wouldn’t ask, if I didn’t care.” He grabbed an apple and bit into it, directly looking at the younger boy. “He is absolutely amazing." 
* After spending some quality time with his friends, he was preparing himself to go back to work. Normally Taehyung would join him, just keeping an eye on him and spending some alone time with his friend. Today however, Jimin told him that it was fine. That he did not need to come along with him. Jimin always felt bad for needing Taehyung in such an excessive manner. His best friend had a girlfriend and he should spend some quality time with her too. They both were heavily interested in art, therefore Jimin gave them two tickets for a well-known atelier opening that one of his classmates gifted him. Jimin helped that particular classmate out with a literature exam once, so he wanted to thank him in return with them. They both deserved it. They were always there for him, now it was time for Jimin to give back. As soon as he started his work, he became even more relaxed than he already was. He wished that this feeling… Being hopeful about the future… would eventually stay. Jungkook was also a big part of it, it felt like he showed him all the good parts of life, and he welcomed that. One by one all the known customers were starting to give their order. Normally, there wouldn’t be that many new customers, the cafe was near college and it was mostly either college kids who want to work peacefully or the elderly who want to kill time. All in all, pretty peaceful. Today, however, there was someone wanting to take an order that Jimin never met before. He tried to remember but there was no way that he knew that person. That specific person was wearing glasses and a bucket hat, wearing completely black. After working on that order and putting it onto the glass counter in front of that unknown person, he heard a familiar giggle. Jeon Jungkook. Of course. "Oh my god. What are you doing here? Isn’t that a bit too risky?!” Jimin whispered while nervously taking the money from Kook. “That’s all fine. People rarely look at me, when I come with this attire.” He responded while showing off his clothes. Jimin couldn’t contain a snicker. 
What a stupid idiot he was…
“Is that what you meant with 'surprise’?" 
"No, my surprise is actually a picnic in Han river. I wanted to see you. That’s all.” The blonde couldn’t stop himself from putting his hand on his chest. His heart pounded loudly, and this time it didn’t come from panicking. “When?" 
"Whenever. I don’t have any schedules today and tomorrow. I just had a comeback a few weeks ago. It was simple, so the promotions aren’t that long. My company is also pretty nice and let me take some days off.” Jungkook took his food, without even looking back and waiting for an answer, he quickly sat down on the next best table. Of course it was a table that was right next to Jimin.  The blonde rolled his eyes, yet wholeheartedly accepting the risk that they both put themselves into. He trusted Jungkook, and he felt happy to be next to him. 
*
Looking at the old clock right next to his working space, he realised that his shift was ending sooner than he expected. “Ready to go to the picnic?” He asked Kook who was still managing to look like he was reading. “Finished already?” He quickly put down his book, his grimace looking like he was so disappointed that he needed to stop reading. “Do you know that you are an idiot?” Jimin responded with a slightly rougher tone. Jungkook smiled while taking off his sunglasses, even though he still wore a mask, Jimin could see the skin next to his eyes wrinkling. Without a proper response, he gently grabbed Jimin’s hands and put back his sunglasses on. And like that both left the establishment, making the customers question themselves who that good-looking man was, who has Jimin wrapped around his little finger. * “Ughh, I’m so full…” Jimin stroked his stomach, while looking at the leftover food. It was nearing the end of the day, and he realised how today felt like a quick catch of breath. The whole time, they were spending together, seemed to be packed in indulging their childhood and missing the time where they couldn’t be one. “Really? Already? You were always a bad eater..!” Jungkook responded while quickly grabbing the leftover spring rolls and tteokbokki. “It’s so good to dib it into the sauce, ahh you’re missing out.” “I really did.” Jimin said to himself while looking at the hungry Jungkook devouring the last bit of food. He closed his eyes and felt how fresh the wind was feeling on his skin. The night was still young, but he already felt how tired he actually was. This day was an improvement to the last couple of weeks. But he knew that he needed to improve more; to be the person he always yearned to be. For some it might feel far-fetched to say that Jungkook was the reason why Jimin felt better. And maybe it even was. Nevertheless, wasn’t it normal when specific people in your life made you feel better about yourself? Wasn’t it the case in a healthy relationship ? “Thank you, Jungkookie.” The black-haired boy was looking up from his food, midst slurping his noodles. Tilting his head like a confused puppy. Jimin caressed the crumbles on the corner of his lips away, and locked eyes with his lover. Jungkook quickly finished his noodles, before coming closer to the blonde. Jimin took this as a chance to grab Kook’s chin to face him again. And there it was. The soft shy smile the younger, once gifted him. Right there at that moment, Jimin knew what he wanted. “I love you.” It was as simple as that. Jimin pecked Jungkook’s lips softly, tasting like all the sweet promises they gave each other. “I thought you would never say that.” Jungkook replied while kissing him right back. A bit rougher, but still soft enough. Without them even realising it, the sun went down, both of them finally admitting their deep-rooted history. Waiting for such a long time, made the kiss even sweeter, Jimin thought to himself. Sometimes you find people in a state of life, when you need them the most. And sometimes the people who were once your hope, come back and decide to stay all over again. They both kissed for such a long time that Jimin didn’t notice how his phone was vibrating aggressively on the blanket underneath them. Until finally Jungkook let go of the kiss, smiling shyly while pointing at the phone that was still annoying the peaceful state they were in. “You wanna take it?” “Ughhh.. who is the cockblocker, do I need to kill him…” Jimin whispered more to himself, while grabbing his phone and checking the messages. “Ah fuck, I completely forgot..” Jimin stood up quickly, searching for his keys and bag. While Jungkook was still sitting on the blanket, cross-legged, patiently waiting for him to give a proper response. “My friends have that night where we all meet up at our favorite bar to drink and eat while talking about all the shit we went through. We mostly do that once in a month.” Jungkook raised his eyebrows, still looking at the confused and panicking Jimin. “It’s okay, if you need to go. I’ll clean this up and we meet up tomorrow?” Jimin laughed, acting like it was the dumbest idea he heard. “No, no, no. Sir! You are coming with me. You will meet them!” Jungkook quickly stood up from the blanket and looked at him all shocked. His doe-like eyes widened. “Already?” Jimin nodded, quickly cleaning their little spot and putting the plastic into the next close trash can. “They will love you! They are a bit chaotic but that’s actually endearing, trust me!” He grabbed Jungkook’s hand and dragged him with him. This is going to be an interesting night, that’s for sure…
*
The club where they meet up once in a month was the city’s hottest place. Every college kid wanted to spend their Friday nights there, it was heavily crowded, therefore you mostly needed to reserve a table beforehand. That job was actually Jin’s, but he usually forgets, so thus Joon took over. Whenever a month was coming to an end, they all meet up, talk about their experiences and drown their worries with alcohol. It was a tradition all of them enjoyed. And Jimin knew that they all wanted to get to know Jungkook, so why not now? “Ah, I heard of this place.” Jungkook screamed, now wearing his whole attire again, hoping to prevent any potential fans catching him. He hoped he could get a glimpse of Jimin’s friend group, who told him a lot of things about them but it was so crowded that it was extremely hard. “They are all up there, we have an own lounge. So you don’t need to wear all of this!” Jimin screamed back, the music was too loud down there and he was happy when he could meet his friends soon. The younger was obedient and let himself drag around the club, while looking at all the different things that were happening. Jimin couldn’t contain a smile, Jungkook was so precious. “Guys! HEY!” Jimin first saw Yoongi, then Hoseok then all the others. They were all dressed fancily, and Jimin quickly felt like he was way underdressed. “Oh, hey guys!” Hoseok catched that both of the boys were still holding hands, and quickly smiled brightly. “You need to be Jungkook?” Jimin saw his look so he quickly let go, feeling embarrassed. His face rapidly getting tomato red. Jungkook quickly took off his mask, bucket hat and glasses with one hand, while the other was still shamelessly taking a hold onto Jimin’s waist. Which made Jimin blush even more. “Yes, I am. Hello!” He bowed, and went back into holding Jimin’s waist. The others were all smiling brightly, indeed happy about the outcome of Jimin’s known backstory with him. “Take a seat. You are the youngest, so you don’t need to buy anything!” Jin quickly chimed in, while pointing at the free seats next to Taehyung and Jess who were both laughing uncontrollably. Gosh how he hated his best friends sometimes. “So you are Jimin’s boyfriend?” Yoongi dropped the bomb as soon as they were taking a seat and Jimin wished he didn’t choose to come. It must’ve been so uncomfortable to Jungkook. 
Because it sure as hell was for him. Besides, both of them didn’t really talk about being officially together, what made the situation way more awkward. “Yes. I am. As long as Jimin is content with that decision?” He quickly looked at Jimin who was shocked. Here was dominant boyfriend Jungkook again. Jimin felt how his cheeks were burning. He just nodded. Not knowing how else to reply with. The black-haired boy was now freely putting his arm around his now “boyfriend”. It felt surreal to be called that way. And even though it wasn’t really romantic how he asked him, it still felt amazing that he did it in front of his friends. The closest people to him. He wasn’t even doubting this question one bit. “Ah okay. That’s nice to hear.” Yoongi responded softly, while still keeping his eyes on Jungkook. He was protective of Jimin, everybody knew that. However, something about Yoongi looking at Jungkook that way, made everyone accept Jungkook even more: Yoongi smiled. He smiled while looking at the youngest of the batch, accepting it fully. As long as Yoongi was accepting of someone, everybody else in their group of friends trusted that person as well. 
Kind of like the mom of group. The couple of hours they all spent together was magical. It felt like Jungkook always was a part of the group, his humor was the same kind as that from the group and even Taehyung was happily accepting him as a member of their little squad. Jimin and Jungkook were also the only ones who denied any alcohol. They both were already intoxicated of this beautiful relaxing night, that they didn’t need any of it. Who thought it could be that easy? Jimin definitely didn’t. A couple of weeks ago, he wouldn’t have thought in a million dreams that Jungkook would sit right next to him, an arm around him, kissing him and asking him if he was alright, while all of his friends were present. It was like a fever dream. Just entirely positive. “I think it’s time for us to go. Thank you guys for today.” Jimin openly said to the little group, some already highly drunk while others were nodding happily back. He waved them all goodbye and before he could leave for good, along with Jungkook, there was a hand on his shoulder making him stop. “Hey, wait a minute.” It was Taehyung. “I just wanted to say how happy I am, that you guys met up again. There is nothing as precious as loving and being loved. But never forget…!” His gaze now hit Jungkook, who was severly confused. “If you ever manage to hurt my baby boy here…!” Taehyung, heavily tipsy, laid his head on Jimin’s shoulder, while pointing at Jungkook. Giving him a clear warning. Of course this was absolutely cute and of course no bad feelings were intended. It made the couple chuckle and they both gave him a goodbye hug before they left. On their way to Jimin’s apartment, hand in hand, the older realised what actually happened today. Also in what kind of head space he also was. It wasn’t perfect, here and there he still tried to control his anxiety but he felt better, he felt hopeful. They both talked for a while, after arriving at Jimin’s little home and continued to giggle about the response Jimin’s friends gave them. The butterflies that once annoyed Jimin when he thought of Jungkook, were now fluttering inside his stomach again. Now, however, he was accepting it. Completely intoxicated by love, for once he welcomed the future that was awaiting him. * The next morning started like the day before. The sunlight was dancing once again on Jimin’s face, welcoming him for today. He opened his eyes, trying to cover his eyes with his small little hand. Next to him, his boyfriend. Still sleeping peacefully, eyes twitching here and there. “Kook-ah..” Jimin softly whispered while kissing him all over his face. Covering him, with tiny little smooches. 
“Hmmm..”
There was not really a response, but Jimin smiled whatsoever. He loved sleepy Kookie. He was even more adorable in this state.
“I love you. I love you. I love you.” He said like a mantra, finally making Kook respond with the biggest smile. “Say it once more!” Jimin shook his head, acting like he was angry, ready to jump off the bed. “Hey, say it again..!” Kook quickly grabbed Jimin by his waist dragging him back to bed, kissing him directly on the lips. “You are the only one that tastes still so sweet in the morning, how are you doing that?” Jimin chuckled while kissing him right back.
There are so many obstacles that are awaiting me…
The anxiety will maybe never leave me…
And the uncertain feelings about the future will probably continue to haunt me…
I have a long way to go… But with you it seems like a quick walk to the store…
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