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addiesu · 2 years

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Futsal Boys!!!!! Spoilery Episode 4 Thoughts

*SPOILERS*

Episode 4 - This weeks episode confirmed to me that this anime is bad. It wasn't just this episode, but from what I've seen so far it won't get any better. THAT SAID, I love it. It's so bad but so good. Guilty pleasure for me I think.

I did like this episode, and the sheer amount of gay tension between Taiga and Ryu made up for the rest of it. I was wrong about my predictions for Taiga though. Last week I thought that Tsubaki's finger injury would mess up his ball catching skills and Taiga would have to cover for him, but it wasn't even mentioned or referenced. Maybe it'll come back in the future? Or maybe it won't come back at all. I don't know, I kinda expected it to be something plot related because of the way they showed it, but maybe not. Doesn't matter though, I like that they subverted my expectations for an equally obvious catalyst that I didn't consider. In a way, I prefer what they did. It made it much gayer. He joined because he wanted to, not out of necessity.

I could rant about Ryu and Taiga's relationship all day. I love them. I know as far as relationships go, we don't have much backstory on them but I just love them?? And this whole anime is so dramatic that it makes everything gayer. And the way Taiga is so protective, and Ryu gets a huge boost from him being there.

Also, I know they're going for the whole hissatsu thing, and that's cool, but it feels like they're totally half-assing it. Inazuma Eleven worked because they went all out. Yeah, sometimes it was ridiculously dramatic but it worked. You could take out the special moves in Futsal Boys and nothing would be different about the anime. It did crack me up though when Haru did Rising Ninety and straight up missed (which I actually liked because you'd expect it to go in and make a goal at the last second, but no). Also when those two from Adalbert did Gemini Twinkle and they ONLY thing the accomplished was making the pitch a bit sparkly. And I know Sasaki's Star Gravity was underwhelming but I actually really liked it. Taiga's was kinda bland but in context I quite liked it.

Things that caught my attention:

-Ryu on the bunny merch again with his little sweat band

-Sei fistbumping Kaito's hand

-Sasaki is trying pt. 2

-I like the contrast of Sakaki's character having an obviously painful past with how still and quiet his hissatsu was. It's like, despite the storm inside, he's more than capable of being super calm and collected when he needs to be.

-Ahhh saving budget by using the same tripping animation and using it to incite a flashback

-Ugh Taiga and Ryu have my heart. The way Taiga literally cradles him bc he thinks he's hurt when we all know Ryu was being dramatic

-THE SIZE DIFFERENCE IN THEIR HANDS

-Dramatic 'I wanna play futsal' confession

-Ryu can barely reach Taiga's high five

-*doesn't play futsal for a long time* *breaks out a hissatsu first thing*

-"This is our Dragon Head Shoot" AND THEY SAY IT TOGETHER PLEASE

-Dragoooooal!

-Did you have to climb you bf like a tree tho Ryu?

-Now kiss!

-Can we all agree that Gemini Twinkle did nothing?

-Sasaki succeeds! Are they not going to celebrate Sasaki successfully passing to Ryu?

-I think the anime leads you to believe that they're gonna make a heroic turn around last minute and win the game, but they don't. I like the 'haha bitch u thought' trope.

-Haru is never gonna live that down though. I hope they don't pull a 180 where they all find out Adalbert was cheating and Koyo wins by default.

-Ryu's triangle rainbow bag

In conclusion, I can't wait to see Taiga and Ryu stuck to each other the entire series. Jk. But yeah, I hope that's not the end of their arc. It was cute as hell and IF they wanted to take it down a romantic route (doubt), I think it would play out well.

I'm intrigued as to what the next episode will be as always. It looks like it'll focus on Sasaki's past (but I doubt it'll cover all of it). Then again, I have been saying that since episode 1 so what do I know haha.

#futsal boys!!!!!#futsal boys #i love it when a new ship comes together #ryu and taiga ftw

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border-spam · 3 years

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Leech Lord - Dumbass

Seifa

8 loss streak at cards with Ven and Eli

EIGHT.

Couldn’t cope, went from talking cocky bullshit and swanning around their table to grab her favourite spot against the wall, to swearing under her breath and stink eyeing Ven when he won for the 4th time.

How. She was good at poker. She was made for poker, this wasn't luck anymore - he was clearly cheating. Took no time accusing him of this either, brandishing a shaky lipstick tube at him like a switch blade, snarling that it wasn't funny anymore and to stop using his jank-ass future bullshit to WIN.

Got smirked at lovingly, he wasn't! Swore on his damn life, a laughing Eli joined in and tried to help convince her. Ven wasn't doin’ nothing, she was just losing! This shit happens Sei, calm down!

Absolutely refused to, got more worked up as the drinks kept coming, the wins kept stacking against her, and whatever little injoke the brothers were enjoying apparently kept getting funnier.

Tried to storm out but only managed a half way confident wobble after way too many tequilas, swore up a storm that she'd never come back, they weren't worth her time, bled her dry and cheated. Eli had called after her that they'd see her for a rematch tomorrow.

They did, and she kept losing.

This went on over a week, her intense stubbornness refusing to acknowledge they were just better at poker. I mean they couldn't be, she'd been reading tells since she was FIVE. Her pride wouldn’t let her call it quits - she kept her coming back nightly, and her wallet kept getting slimmer.

It eventually all made sense on the final night when she was ready to flip their goddamn table and Eli was on the verge of needing an oxygen mask with how hard he was pushing his lungs laughing at her red-faced little egotistical shithead tantrums.

He managed to catch it all on E-Time with Troy, the exact moment she finished another volley of slurs and turned to grab her coat, catching her filthy glare in the wall mirror as she did.

The mirror she'd been sitting in front of... every night.

Tyreen and Troy - Early COV

Some of the bandit clans like Troy better. It doesn't upset her, people think it would but it doesn't, it makes sense. Her brother and her are very different, there have always been the groups who shrink away from her and side-eye him in awe, just like there were ones who'd carve their own skin off to offer her praise and not even notice her brother.

The brute clans, the muscle, those always seem to swarm to the God Queen. The Slabs, the Rippers, the cannibal hoards covered in gore and screaming for glory, but the others always flock to her brother. The schemers and the more technically orientated like the Tink-Tanks and Bloodshots... then there's the Rats.. but she doesn't like to think about those.

She prefers not accompanying him when he's visiting a compound she knows he'll get all the attention in, I mean, what would be the point in the end? She'd rather just stay home and wallow in priest's adoration, but he was harder to convince.

He was meant to have left hours ago but was still prowling around the cloister, muttering and complaining to himself as he rushed to try and organise content. If he goes, who's going to cover the editing? They've 4 uploads ready for posting but he's not scheduled them yet, who's going to organise it? What about the media tags, there's a merch push that has to be released 2.5 hours prior and blah blah blah blah.

She told him to shut the hell up and leave it to her. She'd got this, bro! Stop worrying, it's no problem, everything would be fine. She could manage this without breaking a sweat, just fucking shut up and leave already, the escort caravan was hours overdue.

He'd narrowed suspicious eyes at her and asked if she was SURE about this, they had sponsor contracts for the upload times, shit had to go up when it was due to or they'd breach serious deals, and she'd groaned sarcastically at him. Just go. This stuff is easy. Of course she can do it. If he can, she can. Duh.

Troy had gone silent for a moment, glaring daggers as he hissed out controlled breaths, then turned and stalked out of the cloister - the crackling atmosphere dragging behind him like a stormcloud.

Idiot. She had everything sorted that hour. Queued the whole list at staggered intervals, date and times scheduled and planned exactly as he'd left notes for. Easy, just like she'd said.

Tyreen woke up to an e-dev on the verge of crashing and Troy's contact alerts covering the homescreen in flashing warning panels that made her eyes swim.

What the fuck did you DO. WHERE ARE THE UPLOADS?? 6 hours late, 3 flays missing, one product review, ALL THE SPONSOR MERCH DROPS. FUCKING MORON, WHERE ARE THEY.

Her stomach dropped as she checked the queue. Empty. Gone. Nothing. Where were they... she'd.. scheduled everything?? It was done, she'd triple checked before bed she'd... when she noticed the date in the screens corner, time froze around her.

It was the 1st. She'd scheduled for the 30th... and last month had 29 days. System error, queue wiped, content gone.

All his media team's work, his editing, she.. she hadn't backed up the files, why would she have? It was done it was all done she.. she..

She couldn't handle replying. Knew it was just making things worse but couldn't do it. Felt her guts turn inside out at the thought, so climbed under her duvet to wait in dread. Easier to block things out right now than face what was coming. Easier to pretend.

He said nothing when he got back. No contact, straight into Sanctum and at work placating enraged sponsor contacts, organising his team to botch together replacements from cuts, covering the COV's ass silently and efficiently as always.

Said nothing, till she got a ping later that night -

I'll be controlling content management fully from this point on, keep out of my way and stick with whatever the fuck kind of things YOU have talent in... if any.

I mean hell, having an IQ high enough to know how to count days clearly ain't one of them is it, you IDIOT.

Doesn't matter that she knew she deserved it, or that she'd been such a tool to him while insisting she had it covered, that stuck with them after. He'd been too blunt, and she was never able to shake the confirmation that her brother really did think she was stupid.

Ven and Eli belong to the amazing @hieroglyphix

#borderlands #borderlands 3 #bl3 #tyreen calypso #troy calypso #calypso twins #seifa #ven #eli #leech lord #my hcs #my writing #sbsart

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hissorihaka · 7 years

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I hope someday Kyoani will give us Sei and Kou birthdays, but it most likely won't happen *sigh* Why do I have to love the under appreciated characters so much? (At least Kisumi has a birthday, so that kind of gives me hope! ^u^)

I WANT THIS TOO AND YES, DON’T LOSE HOPE ANON! (*・ω・)ﾉ

I still remember when Kisumi didn’t have anything and look at him now! HE HAS MERCH AND AN OFFICIAL BDAY AND THIS MAKES ME HAPPY ( ´ ▽ ` ) ♡

He’s not a background character no more. So lets not lose hope~ ♡

#i loved kisumi before he became popular ( ; u ; )#i suffered because there wasn't merch of him and even though there's more now i still suffer a bit because we don't have a plushie if him!!!#also I WANT TO KNOW WHEN PRINCESS GOU WAS BORN OK #I NEED TO KNOW IF SHE'S OLDER THAN ALL THE SECOND YRS XDD #AND I WANT TO KNOW JUST HOW MUCH OLDER IS SEI #FOR SCIENCE :D #ask #anon

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bitchfacetokiya-archived · 3 years

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If UtaPri ever releases travel merch, I’m in trouble. I’d spend so much money on those items. But it does have me wondering. If someone wants to visit the Shining Store in Japan, do you have any suggestions for important phrases and general etiquette to keep in mind for someone who might not be well-versed in Japanese? I know there’s a lottery system at the store sometimes, and limits on items, so I imagine as an English speaker, I’d likely be fumbling around in store trying to figure stuff out.

If you’re talking about the Shining Store, there aren’t too many specific phrases you need to be able to say, but there are a few words you may need to understand when reading or hearing them. 整理券 (sei-ri-ken) is a type of ticket that’s distributed for waiting in line for an event or purchase. If you didn’t get an entry in the lottery, on low-traffic days they may pass out these tickets about 30-45 minutes before the store opens for the day. They’ll announce this on their Twitter or it may be designated in advance on the Shining Store website. If there’s no line waiting to visit the store, they’ll change to free entry (written as フリー入場) meaning you can visit freely without a ticket.

限定 (gen-tei) means “limited” or “exclusive.” For store exclusive items that aren’t sold online, they’ll have a sign that says STORE限定 or イベント限定. Typically food and sticky notes tend to be exclusive to physical locations, but this year they did release blankets that they don’t plan to have online. They may also use this word when identifying specific locations where an item can be purchased, such as 大阪限定 (only in Osaka).

Item limits will often be written as “(number)まで.” For example, 3点まで means “up to three.” If you see 各 written before it, that means “each,” so 各3点まで means “three of each.”

支払方法 (shi-harai-hou-hou) means “payment method.” When you’re at the register, after the cashier scans your items and reads your total they’ll ask what payment method you want to use. You can say クレジット (kurejitto) or カード (kaa-do) for credit card, or 現金 (gen-kin) for cash. If you pay with a card they’ll ask you if you want to pay lump sum (一括 “ikkatsu”) or revolving payment (リボ払い “ribo-barai”). If you wanna avoid any possible confusion or card rejection, it’s probably best to just use cash.

When applying for the lottery, it’s very important to know how different locations are written in Japanese. Because there’s only one lottery page for all shop locations, if you apply for more than one location and you get an entry, you cannot choose which location it is. So if you only want to apply for Harajuku (Tokyo), you must only check the boxes that say 原宿 and avoid the others.

Although this isn’t language related, an important thing to know for the Shining Store is that Harajuku’s location has two floors. During lottery-only entry or ticketed entry, you can only purchase items from each floor once. If you go to the register and pay for items, and then realize that you forgot to buy something, you can’t go back until the shop becomes free entry. Also, if you only want to purchase from the second floor, you can ask them to let you go upstairs right away, but once you go you won’t be allowed to return to the first floor to purchase items from there. This is just some of what’s useful to know, but overall the staff will be sure to help you. To prepare yourself the best things you can do are to look at the website and follow their Twitter, but aside from that, it’s not too difficult. When in doubt, watch what other people are doing!

#ask bitchfacetokiya #utapri #uta no prince-sama #shining store

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littleboojay · 3 years

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jesus LORD i’ve been looking at planning A POTENTIAL trip to NY to see Monsta X and BOIIIIII

IT AIN’T GONNA WORK.

LEMME TELL YOU WHY:

uno - booking Canadian trains right now, the dates don’t go past Sept, which is garbage.

dos - then, coordinating the train or bus from Saguenay to Quebec, then Quebec to Montreal, THEN MONTREAL TO NEW YORK IS. A. NIGHT. MARE. utter G.A.R.B.A.G.E. Each bus or train is around $70-100 per seat, so that x2 for the back and forth. So, like, $400 give or take. (For one person.) Plus, who knows if there will actually be a train then. ya know, because o’ the THING.

tres - then, when I arrive, I need to book a hotel for probs two nights. (Fri and Sat.) So, like $300 a night, more or less, 2x. So, $600.

quatro - the concerts tix are like $335 AMERICAN which is like $450 CAN.

cinco - THE MERCH. imma buy a lot. No budget here.

seis - then. THEN. I need to get back from NY to Saguenay in time to work on Monday.

SIETE - fuel is needed for this fangirl’s body. so like, idk, $150 of food for two-ish days.

there is NO WAY. IN h e l l. THAT THIS CAN HAPPEN.

For approx. $1,700 (no merch included) I COULD GO TO KOREA. AND SEE THEM THERE, WITH OTHER ARTISTS.

im mad.

#olivias 2021 #wow like how can it be this complex #monsta x concert difficulties #fangirl problem exhibit 854574

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sending-the-message · 6 years

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HOW TO BE BEAUTIFUL AND THIN by Skelethin

Hello everyone, so, uh, I want to be beautiful and thin. And I’ll tell you exactly how you can too!

There’s a storm deep within me that’s dying to get out. It’s a storm of rage and self hate, constantly gnawing at my fat to escape. I must admit, I’m not fat and I never have been. I have always been a size small, since I’m 5’3 and 105 lbs to begin with. What hurts more is that I’m simply average. Normal body, normal size, normal everything. I’m considered “normal thin”, and not fat nor skinny. I’ve never been anything special. I’m 15 and I frequently enjoy, well, different things than your average teen. I’m obsessed with books, and only classic literature. I only listen to classical music and I play a few instruments, as well as spend my time writing poetry and practicing ballet En Pointe.

Anyway, now that you know a little bit about me, I’m here to tell you exactly how I got thin and beautiful. So, I had tried everything at this point; being Vegan for a few months, which resulted in Anaemia, I tried the Keto diet, which also didn’t work. I even tried diet pills, which no, did not give me a tapeworm. I will admit, I was losing 4 pounds per week, but that’s simply not enough. How do people even have the patience to diet for months while losing as little as 1-4 lbs per week? I didn’t. I had to find a way to speed up the process. I stumbled across a diet known as an “Ana Diet”, unbeknownst to me, it definitely would work. It was on some website called “AnaBones4evur.com” and i figured it was a spam site at first, since it popped up like an annoying ad on the bottom of my computer when I was searching other legit dieting websites. This one didn’t seem professional, as it was a minimalistic page. The font looked as if it were tipping and falling off the page, as well as little blue sparks were glitching all over the deep black wallpaper of the website. I looked closer, and I noticed that the millions of little blue sparks that were glitching were in fact mini pixel butterflies. Strange. There were only a few links displayed on the page, which were clearly misspelt.

There was an “Abooout”, an “FAQ”, a “Store” And a “Dietes, Tricks and Ttipss”. Now, I know what you’re thinking, clearly it’s a fake scam website as all the red flags were there. Mind you, I was absolutely desperate to lose weight. As silly as this sounds, I couldn’t just be happy and satisfied with a body like any average girl. I wanted mine to be surreal, angelic, ethereal, like sharp jagged bones protruding like glass. So first, I clicked on the store. There weren’t many items being sold; just scales, measuring tapes, laxatives, diuretics, exercise merch, and a bunch of purple bracelets with the same bluebell butterfly symbol on them. The prices were all surprisingly low, and I hoped that the FAQ would say something about the butterfly, so I clicked on that next.

There were only 5 Questions with short non-detailed answers below. It’s weird, since all the questions seemed odd but well punctuated, and the answers from the website host was misspelling everything and often using foreign letters such as “ ç, ż, ł, ß, æ, ø, œ, ü, ę, ŵ, etc.” It was strange. One of the questions was “How long does it take to lose about 60 lbs?” And the host answered “well, if you follow all the ÅNNNNÁ rules, then you will lose 60 lbs in about 5 months. Usūally yoau losę 8 pounds p3er ŵeek (((:” the rest of the questions weren’t very important. So I clicked “Abooout” and it was also short paragraphed. It looked a little like this:

“Hallo And Welcym freinds!!! U are now part of the ÁnNa famly. Everywun who joyns, is my fellowe sister or brothear!! U can onlye be acepTed on 1 Condishin. You MUST FOLLEW allkklllllll the rules. If u fail to follew evry rool, u will be BANNED FROm THISE WEBSIGHT. How will I Kno if u breyk a rule?? TrUuuuuust me. I kno. I am Alwaus Watching u. It u sighn up here, I Will Automauticalli have Access to sey what u r doing 24 HRs A DAY. SeveRe Punichment will come ur way if u Brayk a rule.

Remember, have Fün and liive Dangeroushly!!”

Xoxoxo- MIA

Finally, I clicked the diet, tricks, and tips. All of them were normal enough, at least at first. “Eat only X amount of calories per day” and the punishment is, if you eat over 900 calories then you will have severe nightmares for 8 days. You have 3 strikes. If you go over 900 for the third time in a row, you will have severe physical pains. I don’t believe in a lot of supernatural stuff, I mean, I believe in ghosts, but not that some random person on the internet has the power to control your mind and your body. You have to exercise until you faint, if you stop exercising and you’re still able to walk and stand fine, then you aren’t doing it enough. You must count and measure everything that goes in your mouth. You must make yourself throw up in case you accidentally consume a little extra calories. I hate vomit, but if it will make me lose weight, I will do it.

So I tried. On August 1st I began my diet. I restricted. That was the main word etched in my mind: Restriction Restriction. Other words were “Willpower” and “Self Control.” I have the willpower to restrict my calories, and I feel like I am the Goddess of my own body. I have immense self-control that people often express how jealous they are, that I easily decline delicious sweets being offered to me. Every time my stomach rumbles and moans and screams at me for my cruelty, I smack it and tell it that it’s not hungry, just bored. Who knew that feeling hungry and empty felt so good?? The “full” feeling I used to feel when I ate normally was disgusting. Bloated belly, full of food, now is empty shrinking belly. I feel so weightless, like a feather. I hated vomit, but soon I began to vomit 5 times a day. I never went over my calories. I was gonna be the one to do everything perfectly so I can impress Mia. I will be the number one winner in her dieting contest. She will absolutely love me. She expresses adoration for me already. Her little voice in my head constantly praises me after a good purge.

September 10th: I feel so nauseous. My bones ache and my whole body is sore. I think I worked out too hard last night. My breath still reeks of last nights vomit even though I brushed them like, 12 times. I had to tell people my teeth are yellow because I ate something that contained food colouring. It’s tiring, having to pretend to make breakfast and lunch so my dad thinks I’m eating. Luckily he’s the only person I live with. It’s crazy how the only reason I manage to get out of bed is so I can weigh myself. The scale is my religion. I hated math, but now I love it. I’m the best at counting calories and measuring the size of my waist and my thighs, and that number that drops every day is amazing. I weighed in at 83 lbs today. My dad doesn’t know since my old clothes are the only thing I wear, and they’re huge on my delicate and dainty figure.

October 1st: I can’t even move. My long pretty fingernails are yellow and brittle and they constantly fall off whenever I scratch my dry, itchy head. My once thick mass of luscious blonde hair is dirty and greasy and stringy, falling out in clumps when I brush it, when I shower, and when I wake up. My skin feels like a snake; patchy and scaly. I’ve always been pale, but never like this. It’s a annoying how everyone asks if I’m sick or if I have a fever. They don’t know. They’ll NEVER understand. I’m constipated so I have to rely on 15 lax a day. I can’t sleep because I’m so hungry, and when I do sleep, all my dreams are food-related to me binging, and I wake up in a panic, crying since I think it’s real. I can’t walk 3 steps to my own bathroom in my own room. It hurts. I want to pass out and pant heavily whenever I walk up the stairs, as it feels as if I have walked 30 miles. I resorted to crawling everywhere. Sometimes, my dad has to carry me.

November 1st: I hate my my life. I used to have depression before, but it’s never been this severe. I feel like the more weight I lose, the more depressed I get. MIA LIED. She said I’d be happier once I’m thin. She promised I’d look like one of those models in the VS show. They don’t look as dead as I. My dad is a mortician, and he constantly remind me that I look and feel like a dead body. I’m cold, my skin is so so cold. I’m cold. I wore Uggs, Sweatpants, a sweatshirt, and thick blanket in 105 degrees and I was shivering and freezing. Every time I stand up my vision fades to black and all these black little dots dance around my blurry vision. It’s like when you stand up too fast you get dizzy spells, except it happens to me all the damn time. I have to lay down 4 towels on the toilet seat to go pee since it hurts my bones. I have to sleep on 5 blankets since it hurts my bones. I can’t sit on wooden chairs because it stabs my bones.

Everyone says they’re worried about me. Teachers pull me aside, my ballet instructor, the nurse, store owners when I go and order a Diet Coke during lunch rather than actual food. I don’t even look twice at the display of pastries. I’m successful. Everyone says I’m too thin and I need a doctor, blah blah blah. They’re wrong. They have no idea how long it took for me to get here. They have no idea how I desperately needed this. They have no idea all the effort I put. They need to appreciate how beautiful I am. I thought they’d praise me. They’re just denying I’m beautiful, they’re all jealous. They stare at me with haunting and pitying eyes and whisper behind my back. They gasp and gape at my body wherever I go. See how jealous they are? They want to be me. They’re just saying I’m dangerously thin because they wish my body was theirs. Well, I had to work for it. If being thin was easy, everyone would do it. We live in a world of gluttony where everyone is constantly stuffing their face, whereas I eat every other day.

December 1st: Too weak. Can’t move. I have missed school for a week now. My skin is more blue and purple than white, and it’s not my veins. My lips are dry and white with a slight pale red and swollen shut with dead skin hanging off. I have heavy and thick black bags underneath my eyes. I FEEL BEAUTIFUL. My body is covered in bruises, even though I do nothing but sit on my ass all day watching TV. Mia said it’s okay to stop exercising since I’m so weak, so I deserve a break. My metabolism is dead, and I’ve hit a few plateaus, but I’m almost to my goal weight. It’s funny because my goal weight gets lower and lower the more weight I lose. At 105 lbs my goal was 95. I got there, and I still looked obese. Then it was 85, got there, and still obese. 75, got there, and still obese. I’m currently 68 lbs and my goal is 59. 5 is my favourite number, and 9 is one less away from being the highest and the greatest: 10.

It’s so funny. It’s like I was blind my whole life. I never really thought I was fat, but Mia said to take one good look in the mirror, which opened my eyes, and suddenly, I realised, maybe I AM obese. Soon those protruding bones became rolls of fat and I physically transformed into a monster. My mirror was alive and moving. It kept morphing and twisting and distorting like a fun-house mirror. Why isn’t enough? I think I was born with a special body that can’t be skinny no matter how much weight I lose. That number on the scale will never be enough. It will never satisfy my cravings and my need for skinny. Maybe my goal should be 50.

December 10th: I’ve fainted 4 times so far. I get Charlie horses in my legs every night. My dad says I have low magnesium and blood pressure. As well has dangerously low blood sugar and severe iron deficiency. He’s lying. He just wants to make a big fat ass again. My heart rate is currently 40 BPM. There is one thing that i love, though, and that’s my period. It’s gone. I haven’t had it in forever. My dad keeps crying and getting on his knees and begging me to eat, telling me I’m painfully thin. He’s just MOCKING ME. Everyone who says I’m thin is a big fat liar. They know I’m an obese pig, they just want to lie to me. I’m the only one who sees my body truly for what it is, why can’t everyone else? I know the real me is fat. Apparently everyone else just looks shocked and surprised when I say I’m still fat. “Gaunt Girl” they call me. “Emaciated Evangeline” they call me. “Starving Sister” I’m called. “Skinny Minnie” “itty-bitty” “Malnourished.” Everyone calls me either a zombie, a vampire, or a ghost.

I don’t even FEEL alive. I feel more like I’m existing, but not living. I don’t feel like I have a life. It’s as if I’m a puppet. Or someone is playing with me like an unmoving doll. I can’t breathe, i can’t sleep, i can’t eat, and I feel dead. I feel brain dead. I can’t even move now. I lay on the couch all day, barely moving my head. I can’t even watch tv or go on my phone. I can’t even tell you what I said 3 minutes ago. My memory used to be intelligent and sharp, now I can’t remember anything. My vocabulary speaking-wise is that of a 5 year old. My mind is that of a 5 year old. I dumbed down as my malnourished brain and mental state deteriorated. I am nothing but a decomposing body, waiting to be as light as dust. Soon to be ashes. I can only really remember to speak 5 words “Hi, Bye, No, Yes, Okay.” THIS IS WHAT PERFECTION FEELS LIKE

December 17th: This is Evangeline’s Dad. I found her diary and all the sickening things she’s written in it about her diet and some website. Evangeline Elizabeth Winters was admitted to X hospital at X address for a possible cardiac arrest. It appears she was found unconscious in her bed. On December 16th 10:31 AM. She is thankfully not in a coma. They were able to shock her heart and revive her. It is an utter miracle that she is along the 2% of patients who are able to recover from cardiac arrest.

January 1st: Hello everyone, I’m back! I’m in the hospital and they have diagnosed me with something that ended in “Nervosa” and I can’t remember what the first part is. All I know is that Mia would be so proud of me. I got a message saying “I’m the official Ana of the website.” And apparently Ana is the highest ranking position. There are many Anas, but there’s only one true perfect Ana. Along with Mia, she promised we’d rule together! I can hear her talking in my head already. Apparently I’m forced to be submitted into an Inpatient facility at a mental hospital for a few months, as well as be supervised and regularly see a dietician, a doctor, and a psychiatrist. I did nothing wrong.. it’s just a diet. Why can’t anyone let me be skinny? Why do they want me to be fat?? I’d rather kill myself than be fat.

January 2cd: I managed to steal a knife off of the medical table while no one was looking. It’s 1:30am and I’m going to do the final step it takes to become a true Ana. Cut off the rest of my fat. My bones are in the way, but I’ll find the fat hiding behind them.

This is what perfection feels like. This is what perfection is. Perfection is death. I am thin and beautiful, and I can already see Mia’s shadowy figure smile at me with glowing fangs across my bed.

ThÁbks For raéDjng this And Becum a Membrrr of THe Dïett!!! -Evangel-AÑNÁ

#reddit #nosleep #scary #story

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