#need drastic change in my life

[cressthebest]

goals before april 1st: be able to afford a house i guess and maybe get married? uhhh have enough money to see live shows. have a stable job and not be in college debt

goals when april 1st hits: EARN ALL THREE BOOP BADGES OR I WILL BE INCOMPLETE

#my life goals have drastically changed #i literally need to be applying to scholarships rn #that was todays plan at first #but then tumblr released the boops #and i guess college isnt as important #tumblr boop #april fool's day #boop

[heyitsmemel]

...... mehhhh personal complaining in the tags (tw illness)

#bro I'm on day 17 of a crazy severe mystery illness and I'm so fucking gagged #like my lungs have hurt for over two weeks I can barely walk more than five minutes before getting exerted #and can't have a conversation without wheezing #tumblr have you ever been so sick or incapacitated that it causes you to rethink everything #like i have been so severely sick that it's inspired me to drastically change my entire life #i feel like my body and a large part of me has died and i've metamorphosed jesus i'm a phoenix bitch rising from the ashes #yea is this normal? have other people experienced this? #like an illness so severe that it just makes you go ok ok #this isn't working #the old ways aren't working #the universe really knocks you so far on your ass sometimes to bring you where you need to go next #but god fucking damn #i just want to breathe and be able to walk down the god damn street #ok rant over #hang in there sick tumblr #maybe delete later im just sad girl today #i just want to go on my hot girl walk and do my hot girl dancing but my body won't let me :(

[kafkaguy]

so many things are happening all at once around me but my autistic tunnel vision is only letting me think about rust cohle. Which is awesome

#MY LIFE IS CHANGING DRASTICALLY BUT IM IN TRUE DETECTIVE WORLD..i need to grow the fuck up

[buttercupart]

why doesn't chara & asriel live with toriel at all?

everyone's gone on without you

#ok now to actually explain it and not just post no context imgs #it was a while from the time monsterkind was freed to when asriel and chara came back/came to the surface #and in that time life had continued going on without them. as it had the same way when they died #im thinking it was anywhere around a year before frisk in their infrequent trips to the underground #was able to convince flowey to take a piece of their soul so he could hold his goat form together somewhat #and bring him back to the surface #but for chara it took longer. two years maybe? from monster independence day to come back #because frisk had to first find out where chara's real original soul was being kept and then find it and stuff #i can talk about this another time its such a huge can of worms my god #BUT BASICALLY it was a few years and by the time both kids were integrating back into society #the lives of those they loved had changed so drastically #chara didnt know their parents split up. they didnt know asgore killed human children or that their mother went into isolation #not until the game events anyways #and when they cam to the surface and saw all of that stuff -in person- as well as how well/poorly one parent was doing over another #theyyyy didnt take it well. like their mother had a new partner (doesnt matter who take your pick) and was raising frisk #and their dad was super mega turbo divorced and depressed and had nothing but his garden #in their mind toriel didnt need them anymore. she had a new partner and a new human kid and chara had served their purpose #so they elected to stay with asgore so he would have Someone anyone in his life and asriel followed #iiittts a huge mess basically. huge emotional landmine mess of insane proportions #undertale #my art #ask

[eddies-house]

so...some past trauma has been reactivated which...fucking sucks. but it also means i might churn out some good writing?

#like for some reason when im at my most fucked mental state i can write like the most poetic shit #obvi cause it's like im distracting myself from the pain or whatever #and all the emotion goes into writing #so it's like god this fucking sucks and i kinda want to fall off of the earth #but also i can create worlds beyond this place #idk its like tragically beautiful i guess #idk im in a mood #life is kinda ehh and it feels like a very transitional point in time #where things can change so drastically very soon #and on top of it some mothefucker i dont care to speak to and havent spoken to in years wants to pop up #*insert reignited trauma* #UGH #if you read this ily #cause i just needed to spew my thoughts out into the void #vics thoughts

[applejongho]

that stupid post I rbed earlier (in the morning, when thoughts and feelings are valid) hit me bc I'm literally sitting here like what if I asked for ex bestie's forgiveness bc I'm the one that fucked up (I am going through it rn 🙂👍) and then I looked at the clock and my brain went aha you are invalid you're poisoned with Nighttime O'Clock. go drink a seven up

#apple lady words #i complain here a lot abt this and while ex bestie is nameless i still dont want to put their 'name' down here as evil and im a saint and #blameless. #like there is never a case where someone is blameless. i participated in the downfall of the friendship (that lasted months) #but i truly tried everything i could to salvage anything and those last few months were truly awful. i felt like shit all the time #and felt cast aside by them #and w them gone i STILL feel like shit lol! but it's bc im going through the motions. and i just have to get used to the drastic change of #them not being in my life anymore and not want to fall back into familiar and safe but toxic patterns w them #i need to brave this fucking storm and i am trying my best but [tiny and small cat. crying. lying on the floor face down] #dl #does any of this make sense who knows

[bluestone-dragon]

Found this in my Google Docs as an outline I made after writing Chapter 6. There were... significant deviations.

Chap 7: Milena taking Percy to seamstress so he gets new clothes, then pools, talking things through with Percy. Map of the Continent during a council meeting, Percy turning to Geralt and saying, “Can’t you just conquer it all so I don’t need to remember the country names?”, little bit of history? Percy asks if there are fish around. - not human safe pool, idiots

Chap 8: milena thinks an excursion is a great idea, arranges to take ciri, geralt, eskel, a couple cranes, gweld? Lambert? To the lake so ciri can train swimming and fighting in water while the others relax/have a picnic lunch. Breathholding contest? Under the sea?

Chap 9: time jump? someone does an idiot thing, witchers move out, percy convinces geralt to let him come with, preparations for war, percy just going around like “man would’ve been nice to have that during my war” and the witchers getting angrier and angrier which is conducive to fighting. No one’s sure if he’s doing it on purpose or not. If not broken off into another chapter end with water rushing towards them cliffhanger? Or with percy raising his hands? Idk

Annabeth pov interlude of visiting Athena’s library

Chap 10: continuation of chap 9. Percy passes out i think. Last sentence is demigods coming in

Chap 11: demigods come. Maybe found by a witcher on patrol? Bc teleporting is finicky. OH MY GOD they come when percy’s still passed out. It’s been like. Three days or something. (or maybe a couple hours?) The witchers drag them to the bedside and annabeth says oh easy can someone get me some water? Then dumps it over him. He sits bolt upright. - why were you unconscious now i can’t judo-flip you the moment i see you Percy immediately tries to get up to let annabeth judo-flip him and four diff people (triss, will, annabeth, gweld) say NO

#friend of humanity #this was before i got the comment saying “percy should get washed away” and my plans changed drastically #actually looking back i followed it pretty closely until the end? #you can see that i had zero plans for who did the idiot thing or why the witchers needed to fight near a dam #that was just a scene that i wanted to happen somehow #so i wrestled the elements into submission #and created a cult that will make my life significantly more difficult later on #but as percy says #that is a problem for Future Me

[kinda-wishiwashi]

Actually, while I'm here, is going through what is effectively a real life character arc guaranteed when you get on here or is it just a sampling bias?

#do i need to prepare for a drastic change in my life at anytime or am i good? #in character #pokemon irl

[gregmarriage]

genuinely so fucked up right now, and so desperate to leave the house, that i would consider my pap smear, a holiday

#a doctor sticking a brush up my vagina would actually be a welcome change of pace to the monotony of my life lately #it’s the closest thing to action i’ve had in a while #and the only woman who’s been near my vagina in a long time soooo yay? i guess? #idk this is so stupid #genuinely though i would take any change right now #it’s like wow autistic fear of change and like yeah i feel ya there but also if things don’t change soon im actually gonna need to be #committed #barely getting through the day #i’m just doing everything on autopilot and i don’t feel anything but completely numb #oh i guess i do feel something: exhausted #then i feel hyper and jumpy and am practically climbing the walls #manic depression is literally soooo much fun!! #can you tell i’m being sarcastic because if i don’t joke i actually want to do something drastic #really feel the urge to isolate myself from all my friends and family #like i’m *this* fucking close to just vanishing off the face of the earth #i wanna walk into the woods and never come back #bye all i’m gonna go become a deer let’s pray i get run over 🙏✌🏻😂

[5mcsinatrenchcoat]

Me wanting to install that one mod that makes Shadowheart get a more drastic haircut in that one moment vs me weirdly not wanting to interfere with a uuuh fictional 3D character's agency

Hm

#ever since i cut most of my hair off my brain just refuses to see #changing your fringe or cutting off a couple inches as a drastic life-changing thing #which I know is a me problem #but also I've seen the screenshots she looks CUTE with short hair..... #i need to get me some of that audacity people making 'young-ifying' mods have.

[apollo-kid-writing]

This is a really old topic but I’m re-reading Titan’s Curse and I think I’ve finally come to a conclusion about Bianca.

The thing is Bianca isn’t wrong for joining The Hunters, that isn’t the issue. She’s allowed her own life outside of Nico and if she wanted to find family and friends in The Hunters while serving Artemis that’s completely valid and she’s allowed her own choice. She’s not selfish for wanting a life, despite what Percy says (he’s an unreliable narrator, we all know this).

The issue is the timing. Bianca and Nico have just been rescued and introduced to Demigod life for the first time, after an attack that (supposedly) killed Annabeth. They’re roughly twelve and ten years old, and while they seem to take it well enough (or at least Nico does) you have to acknowledge that would have shaken them up a bit.

Personally, I think it was really messed up Zoë and Artemis suggested joining immediately without even giving Bianca the time to learn more about Demigod life or even just talk to her brother, but beside that the issue I take with Bianca’s decision is how she joins immediately, without even seeing camp. We can argue all day about her ‘abandoning’ Nico but the reality is, he would have been fine if he’d had some time to acclimate to camp.

It’s mentioned when convincing Bianca to join that Nico will be taken care of but Bianca and Nico don’t know this for certain, they’ve never been to camp. Even if Artemis says he’ll be looked after that doesn’t guarantee Nico will get along with anyone there or that he’ll adjust well without Bianca there to help. Not to mention, I find it really strange Bianca is fine to leave Nico in strangers care when Nico mentions she’s strict about him watching PG content. She’s protective and yet she’s happy to essentially leave him on his own?

TLDR: Bianca isn’t wrong for joining The Hunters, she’s allowed to want her own life and The Hunt is an option for girl’s. The issue is really the fact she joined without even making sure Nico acclimated alright, and that’s what’s selfish about her decision.

#nico di angelo #bianca di angelo #pjo series #pjo #someone is gonna take this the wrong way I know it #I get Bianca is 12 I’m not saying she should have to be responsible for Nico #and her making a rash choice like that makes sense for her age #but people calling her selfish are calling her selfish for the wrong reasons #Bianca isn’t selfish for wanting her own life #anyone in her position would want that #I just think she’s selfish for essentially putting her brother’s safety in the hands of strangers #and not acknowledging that Nico would probably suffer having so many drastic changes in his life all at once #the reality is he needed her and she left #that’s what makes her selfish #which makes her a nuanced character! don’t misunderstand I like Bianca #like if she’d joined The Hunt a few weeks after getting to camp I literally wouldn’t have cared #because at least then Nico would be comfortable and even have some friends #and anyone who makes the argument Bianca probably thought she wouldn’t get the offer again is right #but that just brings up my issues about how she was recruited and how manipulative it felt #which I won’t get into here #erin’s thoughts

[tentacletournament]

This is very off topic but- i thought you would appreciate the fact that i'm going to write about the classic to geno to error timeline in my philosophy essay.

IM SCREAMING THEIR TIMELINE IS MY EVERYTHING I HAVE BEEN OBSESSED FOREVER AND EVER IF YOU DONT GET FULL MARKS ILL DIE

#if you ever feel like sending it you know where to find me #no bc im obsessed with the entire timeline of basically decay and tie in lore of the entire thing #the concept of not only the affects of trauma and isolation but also the changing of situation and environment having that big of an impac #is so fun to analyse #the impact of knowledge on this guy and how this relates to the entire concept of timelines is such a good psychological stufy #on top of the environment changes that sans goes through theres also the entire thing with all the relationships in his life #starting with gaster that is clearly a large affect on the sci to classic time until eventually the genocide route changes him again but #more drastic because of his new position stuck in save forever until eventually the void #and then you apply the little typology pseudoscience to his personality and way of thinking throughout this #and then apply the whole multiversal war lore to how he reacts and responds to the creation of aus #and then you consider all the fandom relationships between the sanses and how they react to one another specifically between the main #timeline and aus because of how different their lives weny #AND THEN ADD ON THAT SANS IS HOT??? #ive been obsessed for 8 years sorry for the tag essay #also sans is just funny #sci is my personal favourite because of everything listed above like he hasnt even experienced all of that #but in some interpretations you assume that he DOES know all that happens and he still goes on?? #also cpau is my yearly christmas ritual best personification of sci not in terms of anything important but like just how he acts and talks #bhc did blue best thats irrelevant but i need everyone to know about it #not a poll #mars talks #mars is talking a LOT

[ayveestars]

I've been burnt out and depressed for like almost the whole month. can this end already I'm so tired of it :)

#thoughts #it's a cycle of feeling okay for maybe a week before it goes back to this #i need something to drastically change in my life #god

[twpsyn-who]

Nate, there's a reason why everyone at the station hates Bobby and is not his news reports

#shitty boyfriend bobby agenda #tho imagine going on a picnic with Bobby #omg college studets the detective and bobby having a picnic date on campus and annoying everyone by staying in the middle of the road lool #i'm actually lowkey curious what dating Bobby was like. like did we go on dates??? or was more of a physical attraction that lead into sex #and they choose to date after that??? who made the first step??? probably bobby if he knew the detective was smart and all #but i could see the detective falling for Bobby and regretting it for the rest of their life #anyway #wayhaven 3 #wayhaven book three #wayhaven nate #wayhaven bobby #tagging him cuz of the tags lol #ok but the idea of all the police station (captain included) hating the shit out of Bobby for strictly being my shitty ex?? wonderful 👌🏼 #even Douglas sees Bobby does a double take and probably sends Tina a message about it because fuck that guy #omg but imagine the vibe around the station drastically changing when bobby gets inside and he doesn't even notice the death glares he gets #or if he does he isn't aware they are because of the detectivr hr thinks they are because of his news #i feel like verda has to stop tina from shooting/arresting bobby with no reason at least once. mostly to save tina from jailtime herself #Rebecca is more of a 'as long as i don't see him i don't feel the need to shoot' but trust me- she would have shocked the shit out of Bobby #if he wasn't sick in book 2. that reaction??? shitty relationship (between her and the detective I mean) or not she is feeling strong about #the detective's ex #anyway going back to book 3

[friendlifyre]

i had a spontaneous breakfast date w my mom yesterday morning and i opened up about things i did not expect to open up about (mainly but not exclusively in relation to meeting up w my partner irl for the first time two weeks ago) and something about finally saying to someone out loud 'i know if i have the same lifestyle i do rn in five years i will be unhappy' has been messing w my head nonstop

#personal #most of it i think from the realization that #unless i wanna wake up in five years being in the exact same position and having this realization #and probably doing something drastic about it like erasing my entire internet presence overnight and turning my life around #i need to start making changes now #and its. an extremely difficult initiative to grapple with #because theres nothing in my life rn that immediately comes to mind as something id be ok giving up #but i have to accept this now. before i waste more years settling for less #i have to accept Something needs to change if im gonna start striving for the life i actually want

[fatmilkers]

out of weed so its xanax and strawberry daiquiris tonight 😔

#tt #i literally cant go a single day without partaking in some sort of drug/alcohol fuckery . something in my life needs to change drastically 😭