I'm so normal
*watches community 4 times*
*plays Stanley parable for 10 hours*
*takes 30 B99 personality quizzes (I'm Boyle)*
*screams that there's no silicon valley content*
*watches 10 dhmis theories*
*adds another copy of all tomorrows to my Amazon list*
Yeah, a regular guy
198 notes
·
View notes
has anyone ever pointed out that captain holt has the bisexual flag with his own ?? probably for rosa after she came out ?? because i’m ready to riot over it
65 notes
·
View notes
The Crows as Brooklyn Nine Nine quotes
part 2
Inej: What kind of woman doesnt owe an axe
..
matthias: okay. everyone, i have good news and a bad news
jesper:my nana always said the bad news first because the good news are probably a lie
jesper:fun fact-she made me cry a lot
..
wylan: ...and worst of all, i had nina greet him
kaz: what did you have her do
wylan: be herself
kaz: poor son of a bitch
..
nina: retire? jesper, we're supposed to die on a job together
nina: me in a big explosion and you commiting suicide on my funeral out of respect
..
jesper: if you get killed, what happens to all your debts?
everyone:
jesper: aaaaa loopholeeee
..
nina: ok who are we killin. i wont do kids thats a rule, but that rule is negotiable if the kid's a dick
..
inej: are you really playing a gay card right now?
wylan: yas queen
..
wylan: oh no, thats the look my mom gave me right before she told me my dad left-
wylan: oh god, did my dad leave my mom again?-
wylan: how do you know my mom and dad
..
kaz,crying: my son is a basic bitch
..
jesper: so let me get this straight, all that water park money i've been saving you wanna spend it on kids now?!
..
matthias: now i get why you reffer to this as a suicide squad, jesper, because i already wanna kill myself
..
inej: very nice man
kaz: yes he is
kaz: now lets figure out how to destroy him
..
jesper: i didnt wanna do this, but i do know one way we could get the money
wylan: you'd make a decent prostitute
jesper: i'd make an amazing prostitute, but thats not what i was thinking
..
kaz: Jesper, i want you to do nothing, just stand next to me and say 'yes, boss'
jesper: okay, boss
kaz: come on, man
..
kaz:look at this place- half eaten food, crumpled tissues, pictures of your families
matthias: what's wrong with pictures?
kaz: if you love someone, you will remember what they look like
..
nina: as god said when ones tried to sneak past the gates into heaven "it aint happenin honey"
..
kaz: well done people
kaz: that is if you were trying to dissapoint me
122 notes
·
View notes
Sirius (to Remus): Remus Lupin, allow me to introduce to you the not dead Peter Pettigrew.
Remus: What the hell is going on?
Sirius (mimics explosion): Right?! (Waves to Peter) Hey Peter just talking about how you’re alive.
Peter: Yeah I’m alive.
Remus: But whose severed finger did we find?
Sirius: Peter hold out your hands please. (To Remus) Cut it off himself. How screwed up is that? (explains everything to Remus, then turns to Peter) : Now I’m telling Remus how you betrayed our friends.
Peter: The Dark Lord would have killed me. I did it to save myself.
Sirius: Cool motive, still a murder.
23 notes
·
View notes