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#narcissistic parent
forkaround · 8 months
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As someone diagnosed with psychosis I understand when folks with NPD don't want to be associated with Narcissistic Abuse. But I don't think it's accurate to say that the abuse doesn't exist. We don't have the vocabulary to separate them like we don't with psychosis/ psychotic/ psychopath/ potential serial killer. But it doesn't negate the abuse people have suffered at the hands of psychotic or narcissistic people who don't want to accept their diagnosis or don't want to change their ways to cause less harm. (Let me be clear I'm not talking about changing as a person but we can all learn to lessen harm, psychotic, npd or able-bodied.) Removing language that helps explain trauma isn't the way to go.
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rickybutlersays · 1 year
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i cannot tell what people's callings are in life, but I'm absolutely fantastic at knowing what people shouldn't be in their life.
for example, my mother absolutely should not be a parent
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mischiefmanifold · 3 months
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What do you have to say about the so-called 'narcissistic parent'? I hear of it a lot, but I don't know much. And I like how you talk so I would really like to hear what you have to say.
(Only if you can/want to of course)
Hi, and thank you for the compliment!
I do not ascribe to the concept of a "narcissistic parent," mostly because it is always used in a negative light and any parent who is actually "narcissistic" and not simply self-centered in fact has NPD.
Additionally, every single description of "narcissistic parents" that I can find is simply a list of emotionally, financially, and spiritually abusive behaviors, and these lists never mention anything about underlying psychology or internal processes. Most people are content with just slapping the label "narcissistic" onto any abusive behavior and even go so far as to compare "narcissistic parents" to cult leaders, which is incredibly incorrect and offensive.
I understand that these people are abuse victims who are desperate for a way to make their abuse sound as horrible as the way they experienced it, but they are going about it without a single regard for the people they're hurting. The solution to this problem is to create more widespread awareness for commonly unrecognized forms of abuse and neglect, and to validate the struggles of these people, not to demonize a whole disorder and the people who have it.
I hope this makes sense and was helpful, and if you have any more questions or would like me to elaborate on anything, please feel free to let me know.
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some1s-sista · 1 year
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Whoever wrote this obviously never spoke with my mother
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savythenillerwaffer · 8 months
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Please donate or at least share this around! I don't want my friend to live somewhere she isn't comfortable!
The person who receives money from this fundraiser is named Jasmine Kido. She prefers to go by her last name, so just refer to her as Kido.
We have been online friends for about 3 years.
I may not have physically met her, but I know for damn sure that she is no scammer or liar.
Personally, I'd rather my money go to someone I know than an organization.
We would both really appreciate it if you made a donation and/or shared this around!
Here is her main blog, go give her support, please!: @the-new-kiddo-on-the-block
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furiousgoldfish · 6 months
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hi! been silently following for years and its been a huge help to read thru your posts.
my experience has been a strange one where my non-abusive parent did manage (at huge cost!) to take myself + my sibling and leave my narcissistic parent.
the legal system enforced regular contact with that parent (inc. weeks spent at their house) and communication between my parents until we reached 18.
because of this, abuse continued even without them always being physically in my household - it still continues now with myself + sibling in our early 20s and that parent still opening legal disputes over last 10 years of family court + child maintenance cases, and the impact on the parent who tried to be stable for us despite their own severe ptsd from the marriage
but just want to say the behaviour has been exposed. They cycled through another family (step-parent + step-siblings) plus a further partner whose lives and mental health they systematically ruined. But, by the 3rd partner the entire extended family saw a pattern of behaviour as abusive parent got overconfident, and then lashed out, further proving suspicions.
I was 21 years old before anyone was brave enough to start asking questions. The family then found out parent had lied to and played them off against one another for decades.
because of the hurt caused, they have been isolated by their own side of the family. Unfortunately, this happened soon after the birth of a new half-sibling, and the moving in of another step-parent and step-sibling, but we’ve had to let it go. We are all trying to accept and move on from the games and manipulations
even if people can never understand the impact of growing up with it, a time comes when they will see it and believe you. wishing you and everyone else the best with your own journeys
Thank you so much for telling us your story! It is incredibly encouraging to see the situation where the non-abusive parent realizes their children are being hurt, and gets out of that marriage, it is incredibly scary but it's what a good parent does.
It's so upsetting that despite this person being removed from your household, the law was on their side and enabled them to further abuse you, making it so that even your non abusive parent cannot completely protect you, when they know you're in danger of abuse.
The abusers whose partner manages to get out is on a path to get exposed publicly. Once one person leaves, that person becomes a safety point for everyone else who wants info, needs to figure out if the person is abusive, or taken as a proof that escape is possible, that one can leave.
It's again, upsetting that it takes so much time for everyone to catch on and realize what's going on! If anything they should believe the victim implicitly - nobody breaks up their family for nothing. I'm glad that finally the time is coming where everyone is starting to see it, I would love nothing more than this happening for me and every other victim of abuse.
Thank you for sharing your story, it's a very good one, with abuse finally coming to light and people communicating what's been done to them. It would be great if we could all get to this point. Abusers who manage to keep their marriage hostage usually will have far less public exposure of their abuse, and their spouse and children will not be allowed to talk about it, because they constantly have the abuser in their home. So keeping family together protects the abuser more than anyone. Leaving is a great way to expose the abuse to public, and to put them on the path of reveal. I'm proud of your parent who made it happen, and of you for figuring it all out and speaking about it.
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the-bpd-diaries · 6 months
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I'm scared I'll be like this forever
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little-tiffany · 1 year
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Before apologizing ask yourself: What am I saying sorry for? Do I meant it? Or am I acting small for someone else's comfort?
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charlieblakely · 1 year
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Child roles created by the narcissistic parent: 2
Child roles (The hero, lost child, scapegoat and golden child), are invented by the narcissistic parent in order to 'divide and conquer'. If the children have no loyalty to each other or trust amongst each other it's easier for the narcissistic parent to continue their abuse unabated. These roles are usually fixed. However, if the narcissistic parent believes that it will benefit them, they can change these roles at will.
Introduction - The Lost Child - A story of recovery from Narcissistic Abuse
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disabledopossum · 5 months
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I don't know how to feel..
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Happy Birthday to me, I suppose.
Today I turn 32, and it should be a happy occasion. I have plenty of reasons to celebrate my life. A group of people that love, and care about me. That want nothing but good things for me.
But, I don't know how to tell them that I don't enjoy being alive.
It's two birthdays now since my Dad passed ( from cancer ), and I feel the pit in my chest growing larger with each day. I just want to close my eyes, and let the darkness take me. It's all too much.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do with this life. It feels like I've done nothing with it.
So many wasted months spent in my bedroom, avoiding the world. Escaping into a fantasy I desperately clung to, because the world around me was too painful to deal with. It still is to some extent.
The people I wanted to be here to celebrate with me, are either dead or have cut me off. ( I'm not surprised. During those days I was un-medicated and the shit I put them through was unfair. I take full responsibility for my actions. )
I can't help but feel like my being alive was a mistake. It was pure happenstance that my parents met in a bar, and in the hotel room where I was conceived…I swear it shouldn't have happened. Neither of them should have had a kid.
Don't get my wrong, I love them…in whatever twisted way that my heart feels, but this is the reality of the situation. My Mother really wasn't fit to have kids, she never healed from the trauma she went through and in turn unleashed it upon me.
It was a similar situation with my Dad. He was there for me, and then he wasn't. ( Spent a while as an alcoholic, and spent years wandering around being a nomad. ) It was unfair, not having him around, but my Mother kept him away from me.
But he didn't try hard enough to be there.
I spent so many nights alone in my bedroom, wishing for parents that actually cared enough to be present. Instead of hiding behind substances and "pretty words".
32 years on this earth and I still feel like a stranger in my own body.
What was I made for?
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cherryredmistakes · 2 years
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My dad repeatedly telling me how manipulative and good at manipulating I am to try and guilt trip me but not knowing I’m on female manipulator tumblr and my best friend enables me to manipulate
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mischiefmanifold · 2 years
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periodic reminder that narcissistic abuse isn’t real 💜
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Were you thinking about bringing a date? Stop that.
Context:
My mom & step-dad got married during their vacation to vegas late last year. They're planning on hosting a party to celebrate their marriage with family & friends in April of this year.
Bitching:
My mom asked me if I was thinking about bringing a date or general plus one to the party. I mentioned that I had thought about inviting my best friend.
She essentially says that while she kind of wants me to consider bringing a "date" because it might be awkward for me to be the only person out of my siblings and step-sister to not have one, that I shouldn't invite anyone because
A. If I have a date / friend then I apparently won't socialize with anyone else at all at the party despite how many people I will know there.
B. Said person more than likely won't know anyone there but me, so if I DO socialize then that person will just feel like an awkward 3rd wheel all night while I talk to people.
Because of course a nearly-25 year old woman can only be capable of doing one or the other and coming off as a total bitch to either everyone else at the party or to her friend/date.
Sounds like I shouldn't bring a date. Go fucking figure.
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rickybutlersays · 7 months
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ever the tone of surprise from my mother, who, having abused my boundaries, then gets ignored by me for days on end after telling her not to touch me.
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gothicashworld · 2 years
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TOH Spoilers
Even if there was a change of plans on how the Blights were going to develop and play out, I'm glad they addressed that Odalia is a narcissistic parent and also narcissistically/emotionally abuses both her kids and her (ex) husband. There needs to be more of that in media where it can be shown that men can be victims of spousal abuse too.
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sowhatnotcreative · 10 months
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I'm sure that when a regular person has hurt you in some way, it can be worth trying to communicate that. It could be a misunderstanding, or maybe they will understand that they hurt you and apologize.
If the person that hurt you is a narcissist however, it's not worth it. They will never admit fault amd even if it was just a miscommunication they will always blame you. You will not come away from it happier or relieved or feeling like you solved something. There is no resolution to be had when dealing with a narcissist.
Of course it's not fun carrying that hurt alone. It's not fun being told "maybe they didn't mean it?" Or "you should talk to them about it" when you know that that's not how it works. Some things will continue to feel unresolved. You will never know ~why~ they hurt you - there is no why.
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