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derangederensimp · 2 years

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Jujutsu Kaisen One Shot Kinktober

#12 Hate (Angry) Fucking / Exhibitism x Fem Reader

CW: Plot, Mean Dom Naoya, Hickeys, Biting, Pet Names, degradation, humiliation exhibitionism, Creampie. Naoya is his own warning. Yes yes the relationship isn’t healthy. This will probably be adapted into a mini series 🧍‍♀️.

Art at the end belongs to @nanichi0 🖤 show some love to their twitter.

“Oh wife, do you really hate me that much? How pathetic you are to crumble at my feet every night beg for more. What is it woman? Do you hate me or do you just like it when I toss you around?”

Naoya said, holding your cheeks in his hand, squeezing your face gently. The tears welling up in your eyes made him chuckle. “I-I do hate you. I wish I never married you” you spat at him. Your words seemingly did not affect him but inside a flame was burning in him. One that desired your love and devotion dearly. “Ah as if you had a choice really with all your family debt, I picked you and you became mine and you will be mine till the day you die”

What even got you into this mess was your shitty attitude, if you would’ve been the picture perfect wife Naobito told you to act like, Naoya wouldn’t have had to pull you aside into a different room. Naobito was worse than Naoya and believe it or not he loved you no matter how sexist and misogynistic he acted.

To him you were like fresh air, someone he could act himself around but he often found himself cowering away like a child afraid of your reaction, afraid he father would hear him and take his title away for not being what a “man should be”

You heard of the Zen’in clan and wished you’d never cross them but your family left you in such a predicament that you had gone to estate where a line of women stood. Naoya came out with Naobito and looked over each and everyone of you, his eye immediately catching you. He tried to act interested in the women Naobito complimented and discussed but he stared at you the entire time, your eyes never left his glare not backing down to his dominance.

From then on he knew you would be the one. “Father enough of this, I want her” He said standing in front of you. Your eyes grew wide and your heart sank, you should’ve been excited right? You thought to yourself, “debt would be paid off” you said but the thoughts lingering in your mind the rumors of how horrible Zen’in men treated their wives you wondered if being alone and having no place to go was more worth it than this.

But something was different, Naoya once alone would hold your hand intently. A soft smile on his face but as soon as the door creaked to open he let go, his face falling back into a straight face. You noticed this happened quite often as later that night instead of consummating your marriage he just held you in his arms asking questions about you to try and get to know the women he was spending the rest of his life with.

The next few months went well as well as you assumed it would go. He was always so gentle but at times when you’d beg him to be rough he would be. He wasn’t concerned about getting you pregnant as he wanted to spend time with you just as his wife. But one day this stopped, he became cold, distant, and told you that his father wasn’t happy with how things have been going and he’d find him a more obedient wife.

“Is that what you want” you asked. “As if I have a say in what I want. Just do what you're supposed to wife” Naoya seethed. Weeks passing you got annoyed with his on and off affection so you became distant but despite that you always found your way back into his grip.

“Hey, i'm talking to you” Naoya said again, letting go of your cheeks slightly to pull you back to reality. “I hate you” you said again looking at him.

The flame in his stomach exploded, he stepped closer to you. His hands resting on the side of your face he pulled you into a kiss. Your anger only slightly dying on his tongue. Your arms were the first to wraps around his neck continuing the kiss. A smirk growing on Naoya’s face knowing he had you right where he wanted. Pulling his head away a string of saliva still remained before he wiped it away. “Thought you hated me hmm? Then why is it that you are pulling me in for me?”

Naoya said, lifting you up and placing you on the desk. Being in his arms like that again made the heat between your legs swell. A gasp leaving your lips when he reached under your dress and yanked off your damped panties. “I’m taking these” he cooed into your ear shoving them into his pocket. “Now will you be a good girl and behave for me?” Naoya asked, placing his thumb in your chin and making you look at him.

“No” you taunted him, a smirk growing across your lips. Pulling you back into a kiss you kept mumbling how much you hated him which only made him keep kissing you, hoping his tongue would silence you. Taking his mouth off yours he slipped his fingers between your cunt “Hate me so much yet your cunt is so wet for me y/n? Seems a bit conflicting no? Want me to stop?”

“N-no” you said, your face growing red. Turning away from his gaze. Pulling your face back to look at him “So you can be obedient when you wanna” Naoya cooed into your ear, putting his thumb against your clit and circling it. His other hand freed your breasts from untying the front of your dress. Taking one into his hand playing with your nipple pinching at it to gain a whine from you.

Obedient the word pissing you off more and more each time he said it but not wanting the pleasure to end you just ignored it the best you could, you count be mad at him later. “And you can stop being a prick when you want to” you said. “Me a prick? Would a prick make you cum whenever you wanted?”

Removing his fingers, your body was angry from the sudden pause as you glared at him.

“Awe look how angry you look” he said. Just as you were about to speak up he lifted you into his arms, your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist “not ganna drop you” he cooed into your ear before biting at your neck and leaving hickeys behind, he liked the way you’d moan out softly each time he’d cause you a bit of pain.

“I bet you I’ll make you scream out my name. Everyone out there will know how well we get along huh y/n”

You felt the tip of his cock at your entrance, twitching against your lips. He lowered you slowly at first before slamming you against his body. A loud groan coming from him as you bit your lip to try and hold in your sounds. Naoya looked at you with hooded eyes, continuously fucking himself into you from below.

Your cunt telling him how good he felt by how you squeezed him so tightly. “S-shit. So tight. I could stay like this all night” He said between breaths.

He was eager to get you to scream his name, holding your back with one arm leaning you back and his thumb found your clit again rubbing circles. A dragged out moan came from your throat, his cock splitting you in two going deeper and deeper from the changed angle.

“A-ah Fuck-k I hate you N-naoya” you said, screaming out his name as your nails dug into his back.

He hissed from the pain but it burned into pleasure as your cunt clenched around his cock so beautifully. He huffed out air, keeping his pace he hit your g-spot making your walls spasm around him. “There you go y/n. Cum on my dick”. Your body responding to his command. Your thighs twitched as you bit down on his collarbone leaving a mark behind when you let go.

Naoya taking it to be a sign to be tougher with you and finish. Walking over to the desk he laid you down onto it, grabbing your legs and forcing them to hit your chest. You wheezed out air your eyes wide as you stared at him. “N-Naoya” you moaned when your cunt felt empty before he shoved himself back in with one quick hard thrust. Fucking himself into you faster and faster your eyes rolled to the back of your head as you reached closer to your second orgasm. Throwing his head back his nails dug into your thighs “Feels so good. you did this on purpose. You just wanted me to fuck you didn’t you?” He said in between breaths.

“You could never really hate me” he grunted. His hand reaching up to grab your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours. “I-I do” you moaned. His hips rutting against yours a few more times before he quickly spoke “gotta cum. Inside. Ok?”

The wind was being knocked out of you but you were able to groan out “yes”. Your orgasm taking over your cunt squeezed his cock one finale time making hot ropes of cum full you up. He rested his head on your forehead as he caught his breath.

Pulling out he cleaned himself up with your panties, wiping the cum leaking out of your cunt before shoving them back into his pocket. “Now come on, we have to get back to the banquet. You better behave” Naoya said, winking at you. Once you got your dress fixed he took your hand into his and headed for the door. Pushing it open, a crowd of people dispersing in opposite directions.

Naoya chuckled to himself as you looked to the ground with embarrassment.

Can we talk about how amazing @nanichi0 draws Naoya?!? He looks so fucking good 😩

Don’t forget to leave a note! Or a comment 🖤

Kinktober Masterlist

Taglist: @yellooaaa , @immindingmyown , @dovas-world , @coffee-on-a-rainyautumn , @ilovestevelacy2228 , @nothisispatrick300 , @chrrybl0ss0m

#jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk smut #naoya zen’in smut #naoya x reader #Naoya Zen’in x Reader smut #kinktober #derangederensimp #Naoya Zen’in 18+#Naoya Zen’in x Fem reader #Naoya is his own warning #Naoya Zen’in fic 18+

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nanamiya3 · 2 years

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hello! it’s been so long since i last saw u guys! i’ve been super busy but anyways..

i started writing this over a year ago as a way to get some stuff off my mind, so it’s kind of self indulgent in that it’s a classic hurt/comfort trope where the reader is in danger & the other mc has to save them. i’ve been writing it on and off for so long: id pick it up and write like four lines and then let it sit for weeks. this fic is a bit dark at the beginning, though the comfort is very sappy at the end. please read the statements below on specific triggers, thank you! also, i lowkey forgot how to use tumblr so if i don’t do something right tell me!! also also,, this is very not proofread so please ignore any mediocre writing or plot holes.

naoya x fem reader - very obvious allusions to sexual assault - reader is referred to as naoya’s wife - some misogyny (not really from naoya) - reader has PTSD as a result of the SA - hostage situation - hurt/comfort - wc. 4.5k

- please do not expand the post unless you are okay with topics such as sexual assault, violence, and PTSD -

“She’s pretty, isn’t she?” The barrel of a gun lay flat against the dark strands of your hair.

A tear fell past your lashes, tracing the paths left by tears long shed. The watery, winter sun cast your face in a pale, ashen light, and the light breeze rustling the cold clover at your feet forced a shiver from your body.

The Zen’in estate faced your back, as did your captor. In front of you stood Naoya Zen’in, your husband.

You had been wed to the heir of the Zen’in clan three months ago, your hand in marriage gifted as a means to improve relations between yours and the Zen’in clan.

The wedding ceremony was a quiet affair; Naoya was not one to stall, and there were few attendants -- your own parents had quickly left upon your successful engagement.

Consummating the marriage later that night had left quiet tears in your eyes, Naoya’s sticky seed slipping onto your thighs, a light smattering of blood speckling the pale sheets.

The two of you were not in love. You could count on one hand the number of proper conversations you’d had in the three months since your union. Your communication was limited to murmured thank you’s at dinner -- when plates of steaming foods were passed, when your cup was filled with warm tea by his steady hand. When the sun shied and the moon rose and hushed moans and whispered names were exchanged.

Beyond your lewd, nighttime tumbles, Naoya didn’t pay you much attention. Your obedience was not a courtesy, it was required -- expected. Your job was simply to sit at his side and look all the bit the demure, quiet wife; to lay there as Naoya fucked a son - an heir - into the soft curves of your body.

When you sit up in bed, panting and shaking from a nightmare, quiet sobs racking your body because you believe Naoya to be asleep, he does not lower himself to comfort you -- does not bother to give any indication that he is, in fact, not asleep. When you trip over your pretty, patterned kimono, obediently walking three steps behind your superior husband, he does not look back or help you up.

The union that joined you and the heir of the Zen’in clan was not one born of affection; it was a union of convenience, service.

As your mind raced with fleeting thoughts of your marriage, you did not believe that Naoya would make an effort to save you. You had a multitude of reasons to believe so. Reasons that involved the origin of the predicament you were currently in.

Naoya had left the grounds two nights ago on a mission at the request of his father. The guards had been excused: after all, the heir to the Zen’in clan, the one to be protected, was no longer present.

Three months of sleepless nights and you had nothing to show for it. You bore no heir. Your life held no value. If you died, Naoya could always take another wife. The security was unneeded - not for you.

So, someone had taken advantage of your state of unprotected solitude.

He’d made quick work of the remaining help: the chefs who prepared the meals you shared with your husband, the maids who kept your kimonos pressed and clean.

The unnatural stillness that had fallen over your home following the murders of the staff was quickly interrupted by the piercing of sharp screams, the thud of muffled kicking, the rip and ruination of hand-stitched seams.

And so, Naoya returned home, exhausted from his mission, ready to be greeted by a sweet smile on your face, a shy, soft kiss waiting on your lips, a tray of warm food resting next to you on the bed.

Instead, he had walked into the eerily quiet residence, no wife in sight. What he’d found was a trail of bodies, tracks of mud bleeding into the plush greenery behind the manor. He’d followed it, circling around the property to avoid detection, until the house crested in his view once more and a man stood in the backyard, a large hand wrapped around your throat as he waited leisurely for Naoya’s arrival.

Naoya had paused for a moment before walking closer, weighing the scene. His eyes slid across your body, cataloging the bruises on your neck that looked suspiciously similar to handprints. He noted the patterned kimono that he’d secretly grown fond of; the small rips decorating the length of the familiar fabric, the way it seemed messily thrown onto your trembling body.

And Naoya knew you. Three months of sharing a bed had allowed him to learn your habits well enough -- more than well enough, if he was being honest with himself. Naoya knew you in the hushed way that only a silent lover would. Naoya knew that you took great care in dressing yourself, keeping clean. Naoya knew that you scrubbed under your fingernails, bathed with a strict routine, avoided messy activities, took care to never wrinkle your—

Naoya knew because he’d paid attention and wanted so badly to show it, the words crawling out of his throat and the air being torn from his lungs at the same time. His arms ached to hold you and his hands dreamt of yours and he wanted to sweep you into his arms and never let you go—

Naoya knew that you would never allow your kimono to be worn in such a state of disarray. For the seams to be ripped as such, the fabric scrunched and messy… No, you had not dressed yourself.

“She’s pretty, isn’t she?”

Had you… Were you…?

The thought played in his head and Naoya’s stomach turned as he watched helpless tears dribble down your cheeks.

“N… N-Naoya…” Your voice had been reduced to a crushed, desperate whisper.

Did he care? Did he care about the gun against your head? Did he care about Death reaching His hands towards you, glee-filled with the promise of another companion?

You hoped he did.

If you were being honest with yourself, you had developed… feelings… for Naoya. You couldn’t be blamed; not when you spent your nights warming his bed and your days admiring his features from afar.

By all means, Naoya was not a kind-hearted man. He carried a weighty reputation, one that spread talk of his demeaning, dismissive, and impatient attitude. However, on occasion, you’ve deluded yourself into thinking that he might care for you as well -- that he could grow to love you, just as you felt yourself beginning to love him.

You’ve noted that Naoya was… softer towards you -- if Naoya could ever be described as “soft.” He never snaps at you like he does most others. He swallows his sharp tongue and holds back his poisoned words, trading them for small pleasantries - calm silence.

You’ve noticed your heart acting strange around him. You will it to be still, to calm, but when the moon hangs high in the night sky and his lips move up your neck and his murmured praise brings a flushed heat high up to your cheeks--

Your heart can’t help but stutter.

But now, standing in front of Naoya, pinned to the front of a cruel man and trapped by the cold metal of a gun, you feel nothing but shame course through your body as you watch your husband put the pieces together. As he connects the skewed kimono, the bruises on your neck.

You knew that, no matter how many sweet nothings he had once breathed onto your skin under the veil of nightfall, you were ruined.

Perhaps the praise, the validation, had meant something in the moment, when Naoya’s mind had wandered with drink and good food and all he wanted was to take a warm body to his bed; but in this moment, they meant nothing. Why would he want a wife sullied by another man, in his own home, no less?

Yes, you were done. Ruined.

Though you desperately wanted Naoya to care, to prove that your pining was not one-sided by saving you like a knight in a storybook, you understood that he probably did not care. Your captor could scatter your brains across the extensive patchwork of clover beneath your feet, and your husband, you supposed, wouldn’t bat an eye.

Your crying intensified as the panic set in. Your captor would kill you to prove that he could, to mock the Zen’ins, and Naoya would either be too tired or too apathetic to stop him.

You were going to die.

The man ran a hand down the slope of your breast, spanning your stomach, tossing Naoya a sleazy smile, daring him to do something.

The guards had not yet returned, and the three of you were the only ones on the property. Naoya knew he was fast, but was he faster than a bullet? Did he have enough cursed energy -- or even just regular energy -- to save you?

Unbeknownst to you, Naoya did care. Naoya admitted to himself that he liked you, that he cared about you. He just sucked at showing it.

So, he schooled his features into a stoic and bored mask. He dragged his gaze away from where you were held captive and swept it around his surroundings. The man frowned at Naoya’s impassive and unfocused face, bringing his hand back up to your shoulder so he could rest his chin on the top of your head, trying to rile him up. “How did an ass like you marry such a lovely girl?”

Now, it was Naoya’s turn to frown as he directed his attention back to where you were being held hostage.

This hostage guy seriously needed to reconsider who the ass in this situation was.

“You Zen’ins are always so stiff. So… self-absorbed… Stuck up. It makes me want to teach you a lesson…” He trailed off, his hand reaching up to trace your jaw, damp from the tears still rolling down the apples of your cheeks.

The possessive caress didn’t seem to bother Naoya. He knew that the man wouldn’t kill you yet; not when your murder would mean his own similar end. But, Naoya wasn’t too keen on the idea of you dying. So, he stepped forward, stopping a few feet away from where you stood. He inspected your panicked face as his own stayed harsh and cold and unamused.

“You can take her,” Naoya’s frigid voice cut through the chilled air like a whip. His frown deepened. He hoped you wouldn’t take this to heart -- that you’d forgive him after it was all over. “She’s barely fit to serve as my wife. Take her and leave.”

Your breath caught in your throat.

Apparently, Naoya didn’t care.

You couldn’t breathe.

Your pining was one-sided; three months of marriage, and you were, in the end, replaceable. The man behind you would steal you away, and if he didn’t kill you he’d keep you to--

Two sets of equally surprised eyes lifted up to meet Naoya’s, and with a whimper, your knees crumpled. The man lost his hold on you, your limp body slipping through his fingers.

Naoya’s eyes narrowed, watching the finger on the trigger lose its place.

As soon as the man’s hands were off you, the gun slipping from your hair as you dropped to the floor, Naoya lunged forward, using his technique to slow time around him, moving faster than should be possible.

Naoya made a mental note to apologize to you for the emotional distress he’d caused. He didn’t mean what he said -- it was just a ploy to derail the man’s attention for a fraction of a second -- but, you had clearly taken his bitter words to heart.

The damp feel and the sweet smell of the clovers beneath you were all you could focus on as your eyes struggled to acknowledge the too-fast fight, the crumple of a black-clad body.

Too much had happened in one day and all you wanted to do was curl up and cry. You were tired and lonely and felt so heartbreakingly empty—

Familiar arms wrapped around your body, picking you up.

A blink, and you were inside, a familiar room around you, so warm in his arms. An exhale, and hands -- so gentle, loving in a way you’d never experienced -- were easing the torn garment from your body.

Averted eyes, a steaming bathtub, peaceful silence.

Hands in your hair, gently cleansing more than physical hurt.

You were quiet. You had nothing to say.

A new pattern swathed over your now-clean body, crisp and unfamiliar.

You felt dizzy and overwhelmed, fingers poking at the red patches fading into purple blooms against your skin.

Big hands guided you into bed, a hushed, “I’ll be back soon,” floating gently into your ear. The soft sheets and plush blankets smothered your skin, and your eyes began to droop.

Everything was okay. Those familiar hands were stroking your cheek, and through your deliria, you reached up to grab one, wanting to know if it was real. A quiet laugh -- no more than a huff of air -- sounded from somewhere above you.

You felt warm and safe.

Tucked into bed - soft blankets pulled up to your chin - hand peeking out to grab your husband’s. You let your mind quiet, breathing deep and succumbing to fatigue.

-------

When you woke up, the room was empty. You pulled yourself to a sitting position, wincing at the ache in your legs. You scanned the room, slightly confused. There was something wrong with the room - like something was missing.

What was wrong? You had closed your eyes for just a second while holding Naoya’s hand—

Naoya.

Where was he? Hadn’t he tucked you in and promised to be right back?

The unease in your chest grew and panic spread through your body. Your eyes darted to the windows, the door. You didn’t feel safe alone.

The sound of maids and other help bustling throughout the house - setting it to rights - reached you, and you fumbled out of bed on tired, clumsy limbs.

Stepping into the hallway, you looked around in confusion at all the new faces.

Oh. Right... The maids you’d grown fond of were gone, their blood likely being scrubbed out of the carpets as you stood there, eyes darting and searching for your husband.

“Excuse me,” you spoke quietly - hoping to minimize the scratch of your throat - to the maid closest to you. “Do you know where Naoya-sama is?”

The young woman bowed low. “He should be in a meeting with the Zen’in clan heads right now, miss.”

You passed her a tired smile, murmuring your thanks as you moved in the direction of the meeting room.

You walked in silence to the end of the hallway, trailing down the stairs, turning past the entryway. You stepped shakily around the living room, doing your best to ignore the dark red stains being worked out of the tiles, as one last turn led you down the hallway that housed the formal rooms: offices, meeting rooms, libraries, and family weapon troves. Months of lonely wandering meant you knew exactly where Naoya’s meeting would take place, but as you approached the door, your steps began to falter.

Why were you even headed to see Naoya? You shouldn’t be interrupting him, especially when he was in a meeting. What would you do if you entered the meeting and made a fool of yourself in front of all of the clan heads? Naoya likely wouldn’t want his wife behaving so out of line in front of his clan leaders. Meeting aside, you weren’t even sure what you’d do when you saw him. You wanted him to comfort you like he’d done earlier, but what if that was just a fluke? What if he had just pitied you in that moment? You shouldn’t test your luck by trying to get him to be sweet with you twice in one day. What if he thought you were too clingy and annoying, always seeking out his attention? You should turn back now - head back to your shared room and ignore your anxiety. You were overthinking it; this house, and you in it, would be safe, safer than ever. Nobody would dare attack with so many sorcerers and guards crawling the property. You didn’t need to hover by Naoya’s side to feel safe, this place was safe enough, and your memories of earlier today were just getting to you.

You knew, logically, that you would be just fine if you trekked back to your room and stayed there, alone for a bit. However, that pit of paranoia illogically embedded itself in your head, and you remained frozen in the hallway.

Naoya had been so kind to you earlier; drawing you a bath, washing your hair, dressing you for bed, tucking you in and holding your hand… Maybe… Maybe he wouldn’t mind your intrusion. Maybe he would be glad to see you awake, even though he was in front of the clan leaders. Maybe he would be sympathetic towards your worries and fears, reassuring you that everything was okay. After all, he’d chosen to save you when he very well could have walked away and let you be killed.

You drew in a deep, steadying breath and knocked on the door.

A few seconds passed.

“Come in,” called an old, stern voice.

You stepped inside, head bowed towards the floor, eyes subtly shifting among the gathered men for Naoya. Having so many important clan members watch you, likely with disdain, made your body tense with fear. Your hands trembled, eyes averted towards the ground. You needed to apologize for the interruption, explain your intrusion, but your throat had closed up all of a sudden.

Naoya stood, addressing the room, “Excuse me.” He walked up to you, took your shaky hands in his own, and led you out the room and into the hallway for some privacy.

“As we were discussing, security has been far too lax—” The door shut, leaving you alone with Naoya in the hallway.

“Sorry for barging in,” you said quietly, staring in front of you at the hands covering your own.

“It’s fine.” He dropped one of your hands as his own ran through his hair. “You’re not interrupting much, just a lot of arguing.”

You nodded, pulling your hand from his and wrapping your arms around your waist. Silence filled the air.

“I… woke up and you were gone.” Realizing how accusatory that might have sounded, you scrambled to explain. “N-not that that’s a problem! I just thought I heard you saying you’d be back, before I fell asleep…” You trailed off, feeling like you were wasting Naoya’s time. You stared at the floor, nervous to avoid eye contact with him. “I woke up feeling kind of… scared, about…” Your hand came up to your neck, fingers tracing mean blotches of purple and yellow, “being alone..”

Deep in his chest, Naoya felt a tug on his heart. He really hadn’t meant to leave you all alone - he’d meant it when he told you he’d be back.

It was just that, after you’d fallen asleep, Naoya had been swamped with work. First, he had to make sure the man outside was really dead (he was - Naoya shot him twice to make sure). Then, he had to contact the clan about why all of the fucking guards had been sent away (you had no inherited cursed technique nor an heir that would be worth protecting). After that, he had to arrange for new staff to be brought in, including more security (turns out none of the Zen’ins were too keen on giving up their cooks and maids to Naoya). Then, the clan leaders arranged to meet at Naoya’s estate to discuss the Hei and the Kukuru Unit and the role they played in overall security (which is to say, they arranged for all the major players in the Zen’in family to yell at each other in Naoya’s home while pretending to care that you’d nearly been killed in what was a catastrophic failure on behalf of Zen’in security). Finally, Naoya, along with the rest of the newly arrived security guards, swept the entire estate grounds to ensure that there were no other intruders (there weren’t - the only intruder was face down in the grass with two holes in his head, as he had been for a few hours).

Naoya sighed, moving forward to pull you into his arms, murmuring, “I’m sorry.” He explained into your hair, “Got a bit busy. I didn’t mean to leave you up there all alone.”

“I… Wanted to be with you..” you mumbled into his chest, eyes closed and body melting against his.

He smiled, you were cute. His adoration faded into concern, though, when he remembered what you’d said earlier - about being scared of being alone. “You have a bad dream?” he asked, uncharacteristic worry in his voice.

You shook your head, nose knocking against his chest. “No… I just…” You chewed on your lip, thinking about how to phrase your feelings. “My mind keeps reminding me of… earlier today. It freaks me out every time.” Your voice dropped to a whisper. “It’s like I’m expecting it to happen again, and I’m scared.”

You were trembling slightly against his body, arms wrapped tight around his middle. He frowned, running a hand up and down the small of your back. “I’m sorry about today. You should have never been alone like that. Security will be tighter, and I’ll be here as well”

You nodded into his chest, head still buried in his pecs. You felt a lot safer with his reassurance, but… “Do you— Are you.. upset? That I’m— I’ve been... by another man…?”

Naoya’s heart dropped, pulling away from you to look at you incredulously. “Are you asking me… if I’m mad at you because he…?” Naoya trailed off, feeling shocked as he watched you give him a small, shameful nod. Did you really think he was so shallow and inconsiderate?

Sure, Naoya had grown up a Zen’in, through and through. He could admit he wasn’t exactly a champion for women’s rights. But, he thought you’d at least known that he cared about you. He’d made it pretty obvious right? He took his meals with you, something he’d almost never seen his relatives do with their wives, because he enjoyed your presence. He never comforted you when you had nightmares because he was worried he’d scare you. Once, he’d shifted in his “sleep” when you were trying to calm yourself down, and you’d jumped up, mashing a shaky hand over your mouth. You were so skittish, he worried that him sitting up and approaching you would send you into a full-fledged mental breakdown. Naoya also took care to make sure that you enjoyed your nights together as much as he did. There was little foreplay, but he’d hold himself off until your breath hitched in a way that made his own feel knocked out of his chest, until you were clenching tight around him, hands scrambling in the sheets. Naoya was usually a selfish lover, but never with you. Didn’t you know that?

“I could never be upset with you for that,” he murmured, pulling you back into his chest.

“Okay,” you whispered, thankful that Naoya was so understanding. You knew that if you were wed to another man, like one of Naoya’s many cousins, he’d likely be taking in a second wife, using your terrors as an excuse to bed other women.

The two of you stood like that—arms wrapped around each other, accustomed to the comfortable silence blanketing the hallway—until Naoya’s arms loosened around your middle and he stepped back. “I’m gonna head back in there and tell them to finish the meeting without me.” He brushed a strand of hair away from your face, “Wait right here, okay?”

A soft smile crept its way onto your face, fears forgotten for the moment, and you nodded in response.

———————

Naoya reaches to cover your shaking hands - wipe away your tears - pull you into his arms - soothe the ache and stress and fear from your shoulders - but you grip his wrist before he can touch you. His eyes are wide and full of concern, and they’re trained right on you.

Your breathing is too heavy and your head is too loud and you don’t think you can deal with another form of input. You just want to cry even harder.

You’re so overwhelmed right now and all you want is Naoya’s comfort, but something in you self-sabotages, and your grip on his wrist remains tight. You wish you could just relax, let him tug you into his arms and melt away the horrors in your mind, but your body remains tense, strung tight as a bow.

You had a long night last night, and Naoya steals glances at you as you take a bite of the Kakitamajiru that he requested the cook make for you.

It’s been about 3 months since everything happened, and Naoya is still patient with you. Sometimes you get so scared you ask him exactly how many guards are on watch, where they are - who they are; sometimes you struggle to speak, lips trembling as they remain shut despite the words bubbling out from your chest; sometimes you jump out of bed and turn on all the lights, eyes shining with guilt as you apologize again and again for waking Naoya up; sometimes you ask him to walk with you to places - the garden when it’s sunny out, the kitchen when you’re hungry but it’s dark at midnight, down the stairs when you’re worried about someone waiting for you around the corner.

And Naoya obliges every single time. He speaks slowly in a gentle voice, detailing not just how many guards are on watch, but their names, when their shifts started, how long he’s known them for, who their families are, and whatever else he can tell you to keep your mind off why you wanted to know all of this in the first place. He’s calm, waiting in silence until you’re ready to talk, sometimes not waiting at all - happy to spend time with you, even if there’s no conversation. He’s understanding, telling you - no, the lights don’t bother him - regardless of the fact that it’s 2:47 AM and you know that he woke up because of you. He’s loving - walking you through the backyard to the garden, avoiding going near the one spot that makes your stomach queasy - accompanying you to the kitchen as you search for snacks - placing a hand on your back as you both round the corner by the staircase.

And sometimes, getting through the night is easy. Sometimes your dreams are sweet, snores uninterrupted - though you swear up and down that you don’t snore (Naoya has a different side of the story to tell). Sometimes it’s not hard at all, with your husband’s big arm around your middle, a day of laughter and peace behind you.

Progress is never linear, but you’ve come a long way in the past 3 months, and both you and Naoya are proud of your growth.

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i don’t know what this was either please don’t perceive me

#naoya x you #naoya x reader #jjk naoya #naoya zenin #jujutsu kaisen naoya #naoya x y/n #zen’in naoya #zenin naoya #hurt/comfort #sensitive topics

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