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#nakamoto yuta scenerio
hyuckssunchip · 3 years
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long haired yuta is god-tier… tell me i’m wrong
✿。✿ (like he’s actually ethereal)
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freakie-deakie · 3 years
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Lucas // How To: Kill an Idea
i have been really struggling with feeling numb lately and i super projected that onto this character. i really do apologize if it doesn’t make for the most interesting read. i may or may not end up rewriting this when i’m feeling better.
Warnings: emotional numbness and detachment
Masterlist
THIS IS PART 2!!! Read part one here: How To: Hurt My Feelings
Lucas x Reader (angst // 7.3k words); ft. stepbrother!Johnny
The way the lights reflected off the water brought only distant memories of the Han flowing through the city of Seoul and mirroring the life around it. The bustle of the city, the calm of the river banks. The things that you neighbored so long ago.
You could become so lost in the remnants of the past - that you would forget to lose yourself in the readiness of the moment.
You owed the Garonne. After tirelessly looking over you for months on end, you owed her your presence at the very least. How dare you look at her in all of her beauty and only think of another.
She smiled at you nonetheless. The Garonne sat with you one last night and told you how much she would miss you - how much all of Bordeaux would miss you. She told you that the stone buildings, the ones in the alleyway that you cut through every night as you return to your dorm, didn't know what they were going to do without you. She told you that the little birds that had nested outside of your window had practiced a sadder song to sing after you left. She swore that the lights in the city shone brighter than they ever had before when you landed and that they would fade upon your departure.
She made you promise that you would come back to see all of them: the buildings, the birds, and the lights. On your own accord, you promised you would come back to see her.
The Garonne waved you off that night, sending you to bed and wishing you a restful slumber and a safe flight in the morning.
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Tired and stiff, you limp out of the terminal with your laptop clutched to your chest and a yawn escaping your lips. You mindlessly followed the crowd of other travelers to baggage claim and patiently waited for your suitcase to be sorted onto the conveyor belt.
"Pardon me, Mademoiselle," a familiar voice reached your ears, "I believe a poor boy has been waiting far too long to see you here."
You spun on your heel, a bright smile suddenly overtaking your features. "Lucas," you call quietly as you envelop him in a tight hug. You had barely moved for sixteen hours straight, but once in his arms, every desire for motion ceased. It seemed that he agreed, as he latched onto you and refused to let go.
"I missed you," he admitted before placing a kiss on the top of your head and moving to grab your bag off the belt.
"I missed you more," you answered softly.
He took your hand and kissed it before leading you through the airport and down to the parking garage where your brother was waiting, leaned up against his car, and dusting the cigarette ashes off of his sleeve.
"Hey there, Miss France," he says as he moves to envelop you in a hug of his own. "How was your flight?"
"It was fine," you answer simply. "Long, but fine."
"Well, you have an hour-long car trip to give us the highlights of France, if you're not too tired. We could stop by a late-night diner too if you're hungry."
You nodded along as you climbed into the car, enjoying the banter after your long trip. But as you rode in the passenger seat home (funny, you thought, that you still called it home), you took in things about the city that you never really appreciated.
The locals that ignored the do-not-cross signs, the billboards that were so shrouded in smog that you could barely read them, the stray cats that freely wandered the city like it was their own personal playground. All the things that you used to neighbor.
And when you got to the bridge that you'd longed to see since you left, the Han welcomed you home with as much love for you as it had six months ago. You made it a point to tell him about the Garonne sometime. You think he would enjoy hearing about her.
"The pastries," you say simply. "It was France; of course the pastries were the best."
Johnny dropped you back at your apartment and your boyfriend opted to stay the night, helping you settle back into the space that you could once again call your own.
Another tenant had contracted your apartment for the time you were away - there were a few more cuts and bruises than you remember leaving, but it was nothing you couldn't patch up. The bed wasn't where you had it, the shower knobs had been replaced, and an empty curtain rod rest stretched along your window seal.
"The stuff you left with us, it's still back at the frat," he chuckles awkwardly.
"That's okay." You offer him a small smile and plop down on one of the only four pieces of stand-alone furniture left in the space, the old black sofa in the same spot it's always been. "At least they didn't take my couch."
"Y/N, darling, I don't know if I would lay on that if I were you."
His words took a moment to register, but when they did your eyes shot open and you were out of your seat comically fast. "Oh God, ew..."
He laughed again and pressed a small kiss to your temple. "Let's take a shower and then we'll figure things out, okay? And you know, you don't have to sleep here tonight. There are no sheets on the bed or anything, so you can-"
You cut him off with a quick kiss and lead him to the bathroom, ready for a warm shower to take away all of your travel pains.
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"Not really," you answered honestly, rolling your head to the side to look at your boyfriend. You'd been looking at his ceiling for a while, head resting on his thigh while he played with your hair. It felt nice, you thought, to get a chance to live in your memories - specifically the memories you had left with him here in his room, the ones that always waited for you while you were away. "All of my days in France were spent doing something or another. By myself, with the people that I met. So no, it never really got mundane. I didn't think that kind of life existed for anyone over the age of nine." You let out a small but heavy breath. "I guess I had to experience it for myself to understand."
Lucas doesn't say anything for a moment. Instead, he focuses on gently detangling a knot that his fingers had caught on. Your hair was longer now than it was.
"I'm happy for you," he reassures you. He doesn't quite know what he's reassuring, but he reassures you nonetheless.
"Lucas?" you ask softly.
"Hmm?" he responds, his gruff voice sounding tired.
"What would you have done if I didn't come back?" His finger stop working in your mess of locks and all of his attention is focused on dissecting what you just asked him.
"I don't know what answer you want me to give you," he says smally, glancing down at you before retraining his gaze on the ceiling, its texture nearly lost in the dark.
"There isn't a certain answer I want. I'm just curious."
"I don't understand the question," he almost interrupts, suddenly a bit tenser than he was only moments ago.
"I don't mean anything by it, Lucas. It's not a loaded question." Your soft voice is enough to lul his hand back to its comforting motions. "Would you have gone after me or would you have let me go?"
"I would have gone after you without a second thought. Definitely, I would have."
"I thought about staying you know."
There's a pause, a small silence of thought on both ends.
"Why didn't you," he asks with genuine curiosity.
"It wasn't home. You weren't there."
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A wolf whistle follows you into the kitchen the next morning and you feel the need to suppress your groan.
"If I knew you were staying the night, I would have held a cup against the door."
"Oh, gross, Jaehyun," you sneer, turning to jab your elbow into the older boy's side.
"What? Not everyone gets to tour France." You can't help but dramatically roll your eyes and threaten him with a punch.
"Do you want a cup of coffee? I was about to put on a pot."
"Sure," he smiles gratefully. "And you can tell me about Bordeaux while we wait."
"Oh, it was beautiful," you think back as you prepare the grounds. "As the sun was setting, the sky would turn golden. If there were any clouds that evening, they would turn all different shades of pink. The lights over the water - words wouldn't do it justice."
Jaehyun chuckles before yawning out, "Well, that's a first."
"Jung Jaehyun, if you are trying to say that I talk too much-"
"That's not what I'm saying," he defends. "I mean you always have a way with words. It's your thing, ya' know. Words."
You hum, turning back to your task. "I guess I hadn't thought about it that way - at least not for a while."
The door to the kitchen swings open and another boy ungracefully stumbles into the kitchen. Haechan is clad in a plain T-shirt and dark shorts (if you could call them that). His hair is no longer silver; it's now a dusty brown, curling up into the picture of a sandstorm blowing about his head. He looked healthier, or maybe just more mature since you last saw him. He'd filled out a bit, and grown into those long limbs of his.
"Man, what's will all the commotion in here? It's Saturday and- Y/N?" The boy immediately perks up upon seeing you. "Oh my gosh, Y/N! You're back!" He hugs you and sits down at the island beside his older friend, suddenly as energetic as a child on Christmas morning. "Great, because I made a list of pranks we're gonna pull together. Jaehyun, since you're here, I guess you can help us too. Okay, first of all, we're gonna shove a bag of chocolate powder mix down the shower drain. I'd like to make sure that one gets Mark because he blamed me for breaking Johnny's lamp."
There were things you would have to readjust to in Korea. Things that you didn't think would catch you off guard, yet still managed to turn you around every now and again. The wet bath was one of them; you were going to miss your tub. You also suddenly found bowing a bit more strange than you originally had, as well as keeping personal space when you greeted someone altogether. Most prominently, the language barrier that you weren't so sure you'd ever really overcome in your first life in Korea.
Words were suddenly weird to you again. Ideas that could manifest themselves in one language but not another. At times, there were no proper parallels, nor were there ways in which to express everything going on inside your head.
Though you tried your hardest, what little French you learned simply wouldn't translate properly to English, or the English wouldn't translate to Korean, or the Korean to French, or the French to Korean, or the Korean to the English. The words just never came out the way you wanted them to, and in a way, it was like a piece of you fell away from the rest, lost somewhere between all of your different lives.
Lucas noticed how much quieter you seemed since you'd returned.
You made it a point to generally avoid contact with everyone while you were away. You occasionally checked in with them to let them know that you were alive, but other than that had kept your space. You became more dedicated to learning about yourself and how to care for your well-being. You began making decisions of your own, from what you would eat every night and how early you would wake up every morning to what debacles were worth your time and energy. You decided that most of them weren't. You decided that pondering your life was taking years off of it, and that you didn't like to eat snails. You decided that you weren't so bad after all, and for that matter, no one else was either. You decided to live.
"Hey, can I see something on your Instagram real quick?" you asked softly, setting your bowl of fancy ramen on the coffee table in front of you. "I think one of my friends just had a baby and I wanted to see if she's posted any pictures yet."
Without giving it much thought, Lucas hands you his phone and turns back to his meal. "What happened to your Instagram?" he questioned.
"Deleted it," you quip, pulling up your friend's account. He hears you coo before you shove the device back into his hands, urging him to look at the baby. He thought the child, redfaced and wet, looked like an alien, though he'd never tell you that.
"Why'd you delete it?" he pursues.
You simply shrug and cover more of your legs with the blanket that rested on the both of you. "Didn't need it." He gives you an unsatisfied groan, but you can't think of a better answer. It was simple - while you took plenty of photos to document your life, you no longer found it necessary to post them.
"Okay," he tries, "what about your Kakao Story?"
"Deleted."
"So you no longer use Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Skype, Instagram, or Kakao Story? What if someone needs to contact you?"
"I still have Kakao and Discord."
"Okay, what about my posts? Or your other friends'?"
"If they have something to tell me, they will," you sip your hot tea and lean into his side.
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"It’s like she doesn't want to talk to me. She doesn't want to talk to anyone," groans Lucas as he sprawls out on Mark's bed. "She doesn't talk nearly as much as she used to."
Mark's hand didn't stop relaying notes to his journal as he talked with Lucas, translating as many of his lyrical ideas onto paper as he could keep up with.
"She's not the same person she used to be, Lucas."
Lucas had trouble making sense of it, why Mark sounded so sure about that. It almost hurt his pride that one of his roommates was telling him something about you, his girlfriend.
"Who is?" Lucas rubs his eyes. "We've all grown up since then."
Mark's hand halts. "Since then?"
"Since-" he sighs. "Ya' know, since... Since we..."
"Don't hurt yourself," Mark chuckles. "Maybe," he offers, "this chapter of your life is written in a different style. Did you even notice? That your life hasn't been going the same since she got back?"
"Of course it's not the same," the elder defends. "It's infinitely better."
"Spare me. Look, I'm just saying, the less she talks, the more dialog you're putting in your own book. And I think it's better this way. I mean, I can't tell you how to write your life, but I can honestly say I think you're doing better now than you were before. You started using your words instead of acting on impulse. That's not easy, man. Words are hard."
Words: your staple, your foundation, your life. They were your nothing anymore.
And Lucas didn't know how to understand.
He tried not to take it personally, but soon you fell into almost complete silence both with him and his friends. When you joined them for a Smash Bros competition, you didn't exclaim your victories nor mourn your defeats. When you dressed, you didn't ask for his opinions on the color of your lipstick nor the type of heel you should wear. When you laid in bed with him and watched his fan turn above your heads, you refused to humor his desire to hear your voice. And he took the fault upon himself.
He felt guilty asking anything of you anymore because you never opened your mouth to ask for favors in return.
"Y/N, will you come cuddle with me?" he calls with as much endearment as he can shove into his tone.
This was for your own good, he reminded himself.
You hadn't watched the news in months, and he knew that. You, ever the stickler for meaningful conversation, had devoted large portions of your time to staying up to date before. As of late, however, you preferred "to watch the world crash and burn around you from a first-person point-of-view rather than a third-person point-of-view."
He hoped that sitting you down to watch the news for a while would spark a fire in your opinionated soul. So imagine his reaction when you crawled into his arms and fell asleep, paying absolutely no mind to the colors or words on the screen.
His next plan was to plant your favorite novel in the hands of your favorite philosopher.
This was for your own good, he reminded himself.
He shoved the book into Doyoung's hands with a stern "fix her." Needless to say, Doyoung had the book read within a couple of days and Lucas invited you over as soon as his friend flipped through the pages for the final time.
"A piece of modern art," he suggests. "A sorrow lost to the sands of time and a meaning forgotten by society."
Lucas watches in amazement as you sit and nod along to everything that Doyoung says. You didn't interject your ideas even once. You just listened.
He was running out of ideas. So his last plot was his last hope that there may be a bit of yourself left inside of you. He would take you on a date - the best date you've ever been on - and thrust so much happiness and gratefulness onto you that you wouldn't be able to contain it so silently. He knew it was a dirty trick, but how else was he to make sure that you were okay if you would no longer tell him anything about yourself.
This was for your own good, he reminded himself.
Really, he should have asked you out first, before he came barging into your apartment (tidier than he'd ever seen it before and reeking of cleaner) with a bundle of flowers and demanding your attention for the evening.
Surprise.
He was about to push open the door to your bedroom when he heard a soft sniffle from inside. His eyes widened and his shoulders fell. His heart broke when he heard a small sob fall from your lips.
He peeked inside. It was dark, mind the laptop that sat on your desk and illuminating your shaking form. You laid your head on one arm and used your other hand to rake through your stringy hair. Your glasses had been tossed to the shadowy void and your cheeks were wet and sticky.
The header of your philosophy paper stared you down as you unraveled before it. The rest of the blank page was absolutely daunting. Your acceptance of the world around you had drained away your ability to have a coherent cognitive thought about it, forget about writing one.
To some extent, you missed the days when you were confident in your ability to build empires out of words. Now, you couldn't even build a ten-page paper, especially not by 11:59 pm that night.
To a greater extreme, you couldn't understand why you would want to return to your opinionated ways or your charismatic skills that abused fact until it bent to your will. What purpose did fact or, more importantly, idea have anymore, other than to aid your ability to charm others to abide by your purpose?
It felt wrong to write a definitive philosophical thesis, especially when you couldn't bring yourself to definitively believe in anything particular.
"Y/N," you jumped at the sound of your own name and quickly wiped your cheeks with the back of your sleeves, sitting up straighter and making yourself more presentable before you turned around to face him. Lucas saw it all. He watched you put your mask back on right before his eyes, and he realized that you were hurting in ways that he couldn't see until now.
"Lucas," you cursed your shaky voice. "What's up? Why are you here?"
He takes a few quiet steps until he's standing before you and kneels to look into your eyes. There are things that he wants to say, 'you're scaring me' being the most prominent, but he knows he should choose his words more carefully.
"I want to know what's going on. I want to help." He slips his hands into your own and rests them on your knees.
"I just don't think you can," you answer simply.
"Can you tell me what's the matter?"
You shake your head and the tears come rushing back to your eyes. "I don't know what's the matter." It's honest. You don't know why your head can't wrap around your assignments, or your conversations, or your own thoughts as of late.
All that time spent with yourself taught you how to understand yourself and your own needs. You feel that you have exchanged your understanding of the world around you for a simpler version of life. Did that make you selfish? You didn't know.
All Lucas could do was watch you as you fell back into your frustrations. It didn't take long before your brows were knitted back together, your nose was running, and your eyes had glazed over as you retreated back inside of yourself.
"Y/N," he softly called. Your eyes only met his for a second before they were cast somewhere else and your attention ran away from you once again.
"I think," you started, unsure of every word that slipped past your lips. "I think you should go."
You didn't know how to explain to him that you were afraid of what he might think of you at that moment, or that you didn't want to hurt his feelings any more than you guessed you already had.
"I don't want to go. I'm tired of leaving you alone." He stood, gently pulling you to stand with him, and led you to the edge of your bed with a delicate touch. "You don't have to sleep. You don't have to talk. Just lay here with me for a little while and let me be close to you."
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"You know," Lucas started as he tossed the noodles in the pan. He'd tucked you into the couch earlier that evening and told you to forget the paper you'd been stressing over. You happily complied. "I don't know how to say this any better." You listened keenly as you pulled a throw pillow into your lap and wrapped yourself around it. "I know that this is probably the last thing you want to talk about, but I did something very wrong to you. I'm still sorry, and I hope you know that. But..." He cast you a quick glance over his shoulder before reaching for the seasoning in your pantry. "I don't think I ever gave you the chance to yell at me. Or like, to be mad at me - ya' know?"
You thought for a moment, front teeth chewing on your thumbnail before you shook your head softly and answered, "I don't want to yell at you. I don't want to be mad at you."
You heard a repressed sound of discouragement before looking to see him dishing your dinner plates. "I wish you would. I wish you would yell at me and tell me what I did was wrong. I wish you would be angry with me for a little while. I wish you would just tell me something about how you feel about it."
He handed you your plate and watched as you ran back inside of your own head. He watched your eyes glaze over as you replayed his words, and yet you made sense of almost none of them. You didn't understand what he was asking of you.
You toyed with your food as you tried to process his request. You didn't even notice when he took his seat beside you, nor did you notice the burning gaze he watched you with.
"Y/N," he called, shaking you out of your trance. "I want you to yell at me." You looked at him like a deer caught in headlights - big black eyes staring down a deadly light. "How did you feel when it happened? Shout something horrific at me about what was going through your head at the time."
You took a small bite and swallowed, training your eyes on the coffee table before you. "I don't remember."
You looked so small, so helpless, and so distant. You were there, right next to him, and yet you were so far away. He was having trouble finding you.
"Yell. Break something. For fuck's sake, please."
The more pressure he applied, the further you seemed to slip away. Before he knew it, you were gone.
"That's not her anymore." He found himself on Mark's bed once again, tucked into the younger boy's covers and pouring out his heart. "She's not all there. She just looks so empty now."
"Dude, I don't know why you come to me for this sort of thing. It's not like I'm just great with girls," the younger quips from his desk chair. "And Johnny would know more about her than I would-"
"No. He absolutely cannot know that I broke his sister."
Mark hummed in thought for a moment before he laid his pen down in his textbook and turned his full body to his friend. "Lucas, be honest with me about something." Lucas nodded. "Did you see anyone else while she was in France?"
Lucas shook his head as he took in his friend's words carefully. He had no right to be mad at the accusation, so he kept his temper in check until a particularly vile thought trotted across his mind. He sat up immediately. "Oh God, do you think that she did? Do you think she considered it a break and she slept with someone else?"
"No, that's not what I'm saying- hey- Lucas, stop." Lucas was already to his feet and out the door before he could finish. "So not my fault," he grumbled to himself.
Finally, it all made sense to him. You couldn't be mad at him if you were also guilty. You couldn't yell at him for committing a sin you'd also committed. He was going to redress the scale. He was going to make you the word again. He was going to be the action.
The solid thuds against your wooden door made you jump up from your floor. Adrenaline spread through your fingertips and you took a step back towards your bedroom.
"We need to talk."
Lucas sounded angry. You pushed and pulled with your memory, but found no trace of experiencing this feeling before: fear of him. You moved against your gut to let him in. You barely opened the door before he pushed his way inside, rattling off accusation after accusation.
"Did you think we were on a break? Because we weren't on a break."
You just listened.
"Did you just forget about me while you were there? Did you just ignore the fact that I was waiting for you? I was stuck here, waiting for you every day while you were in France."
You didn't speak.
"So you just got to do whatever you wanted while I had to sulk here? You just couldn't control yourself, huh? Do you know how hard it was to keep control of myself while you were gone?"
'It was hard?' you thought.
"How about we take another break then? How about this time, I get to sleep with whoever I want? Well? Aren't you even going to open your mouth to defend yourself?"
You didn't.
"Am I wrong?" He prompted. "I didn't think so. Now we're on a break. Now you can fuck around with whoever you want."
Shocked couldn't begin to describe the state he left you in. You stood there, clambering for answers as to what could have sent him on a warpath to your apartment in the first place. His seemingly unprompted fit of jealous rage couldn't really have been sparked without a cause, you figured.
Maybe he'd seen pictures of you with your male friends in France. Maybe a rumor had been spread about you. Maybe he was just tired of you and feeding himself a rotten narrative as an excuse to break up with you.
You didn't want to know. You opted to rather accept his decision, and all of your own emotions that came flooding back with it.
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"Hey man, have you talked to Y/N lately? She took one of my classes last year, and I wanted to see if I could get her notes before semester tests." Haechan asks his elder who lay sprawled on the couch.
"Nope," he said, popping the 'p.'
"What?" Haechan asked, looking up from his phone. "What do you mean you haven't talked to her?"
Lucas lazily yawned and reached for his soda can beside him. "It's not like she's my girlfriend or something. I'm not her keeper."
"Shit, Lucas, you didn't," Mark groaned, rubbing his temple.
"No, you were right. She was sleeping with other guys while she was in France. She didn't even try to deny it."
"Hang on, I never said that. You conjured that one up all on your own, buddy."
Haechan frowned as his frat members debated. He was focused on a much bigger issue at large.
"When did you break up with her?" he asks cautiously.
"Hey, we're just on a break. Don't go getting any ideas-"
"Jesus fuck, can your ego get any bigger?" Lucas crossed his arms and refocused his attention on the television, jaw clenched tightly. "You're so annoying," Haechan mumbled under his breath, already moving towards the door and shooting your brother a message telling him to meet in front of your apartment.
"Damn, you got called annoying by Haechan. How does that feel?"
"Can it, Lee."
You could feel it all, the swarm of emotions swirling and twirling around inside your chest, and yet you couldn't begin to name any of them. All you knew was that it hurt and you wanted it to stop.
You laid in your bed and watched your ceiling fondly. You liked how it didn't move. You didn't struggle to keep up with it. And it was dependable; it would always be there.
You didn't move when the knock at your front door finally registered in your ears; you were tired of playing doorman in your own residence.
You were just tired actually.
"Y/N," Johnny called, lightly pushing open the door to your bedroom. A strong sense of deja vu winded you. You knew this scene, you'd lived it before. "It's me and Haechan. I'm sorry we didn't call first." You didn't know how they managed to get inside, nor did you care. You just wanted to sleep.
Johnny took a seat next to you on the side of your bed. He brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes in an attempt to capture your attention. That's when the smell hit you. The heavy stench of cigarettes washed over all of your senses causing you to retract from his touch. He looked shaken at first, scared that he might have hurt you.
"You didn’t smoke before," you recalled. It was almost a feat in and of itself to remember the bitter past, but the small victory was stifled by the thick, wet air of the bitter present.
His eyes softened before he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a pack he'd bought just a few days before. "I started a few months ago while you were away. I knew you wouldn't be happy about it."
"I don't care," you answered promptly before slowly pulling yourself to sit up against your headboard.
Haechan watched from the doorway. He wondered if he'd ever seen someone in this state before, or if he ever would again. He looked at you and almost failed to see the human being in front of him. He watched you move like a frightened animal, stiff and weary. He watched your untrained gaze flicker between your brother and your brother's outstretched hand. 
This couldn't have just been the work of Lucas, he concluded. There were more deeply rooted implications here. There was an unresolved issue before your idiot boyfriend played to his own role.
"Can you tell me what's wrong?"
"I don't know," you answered honestly.
Johnny looked to Haechan for support, but the younger could offer only his presence in this situation.
"That's okay," your brother soothed. "Haechan," he turned to your mutual friend, "can you call Ten and Yuta and see if they've, uh, noticed anything weird lately about..." He gestured to you. Haechan excused himself to place the calls. "Food? Food always helps, right?" he tried with a dry chuckle. You paid absolutely no mind to him.
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"I can't take this," Ten muttered to himself, excusing himself from your bedroom. Five boys had soon found themselves huddled in your doorway, watching your every move intently as you resisted every attempt your brother made to move you.
You felt like a lab rat, being looked at from all angles as Johnny poked and prodded to see what would make you tick. It felt humiliating.
"Let's just go for a drive," he tried again, gently pulling your arms away from your chest and trying to guide you out of bed.
"No," you answered again, pulling yourself away from him and settling further back into your bed.
"Maybe we should just let her be for tonight," Jaehyun suggested, moving to stand beside your brother whose head was fallen in defeat.
"I can't just leave her like this, Jae. I still don't understand what's going on."
"Just give her some space," Jaehyun tried again. "This clearly isn't very effective."
Johnny sighed but ended up in compliance as everyone except for Jungwoo moved to your living room. They quietly deliberated as Jungwoo read allowed one of your favorite novels from the end of your bed, hoping against all hope that it would in some way bring you back from the void in which your mind seemed to currently reside.
"Honestly, we had planned to just come and cheer her up," Haechan had said. "We didn't know we'd find her like this. But I can't say it really surprised me, she's been off for months now."
"I thought something seemed weird. She hasn't said much to me in a while."
"Me either."
"Yeah, same."
Everyone generally agreed with Ten's statement.
"Do you guys think something happened in France?" Jaehyun suggests.
"Or maybe things haven't been going so well between her and Lucas for a while?" Yuta offers.
"Everything just feels like it's spinning," you said, cutting off Jungwoo's reading of Mary Shelley's finest work. He was just happy to have heard you say anything at all. "Everything is going so fast around me. I just wanna take a nap, sleep for a while." As you relayed your simple disposition, you found yourself moving to lay on your side, plenty warm but unwilling to relinquish your comforter. "I don't feel like I belong here, so I'm going to sleep instead."
Jungwoo set the book to the side and laid himself down at the end of your bed. "I don't feel like I belong here sometimes either," he relates.
"But you do," you say, looking over his features and seeing every sharp and jagged curve for the first time.
"You do too," he promises.
Hours of hushed worries bled into the night, and you awoke alone in your apartment in the morning. You had no initial intention of getting out of bed. It was the hardcover copy of Frankenstein standing upright on your bedside table that stirred your aching joints into motion.
Then you remembered.
How could you ever even forget?
The Han River smiled when you arrived, taking a seat on his bank. He asked you why you'd been such an unfamiliar face as of late, to which you had no reply. He thanked you for coming to visit him nonetheless and told you about how much Seoul had missed you while you were away. He told you about the alley cats and how they missed the treats you would occasionally leave for them on your way to classes. He told you about how much the sky cried about you spending spring away. He told you that the city lights drowned out the stars while you were gone, but let them peak back into the city when you returned.
You had no beating heart to pour out into his water, so instead, you gave him your soul. The Han understood and sat with you until you bore no more faults on which to complain. He told you he missed you. You told him that you missed him too. You told him about the Garonne and how much you thought he would like her. Then he sent you off into the afternoon bustle of the city with a watchful eye.
You wondered the streets for a while. Not a penny in your pocket, and still you found so many little joys in all the cracks and crevices of Seoul. You pet the stray cats; they'd always been particularly fond of you. You walked around an antique shop making wild guesses about the past lives of every item in sight. You climbed a tree in the park without a damn to spare the onlookers. By sunset, your feet had taken you back to your campus and directly to the front door of your apartment.
"How about some tea?" you ask yourself as you push the door open, not half expecting to be ambushed by a group of concerned young men demanding to know where you were.
"Would you all like some tea too?"
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It was still a struggle to hear your voice most of the time, but visible relief settled over those who'd seen you cowering from your brother in your bedroom only days prior. They all continued to check in on you frequently, as they still had difficulties coaxing you away from your apartment.
"Lucas," Johnny had finally caught him lurking in the kitchen around midnight. He was beginning to grow irritable with how troublesome he had become to locate.
Lucas froze, cup ramen clasped in one hand with chopsticks in the other. Busted like a child with their hand in the cookie jar.
"Look, I'm sorry about your sister," he started without really knowing where he was going. "I know that I kinda jumped the gun-"
"I don't want to fight with you again," the elder said. He had kept his calm since the situation had arisen. The last time you and your boyfriend had a falling out, all hell broke loose in their dorms. He had landed a good solid punch on the more-than-deserving idiot and held the belief that he probably deserved a few more. However, he'd rather not have everyone in a frenzy once more, turning against one another. "I just need you to tell me what was going on before you left."
Lucas's shoulders slump and he sets his late-night meal on the countertop. "I was just so frustrated. She always let me into her head before - but when she came back, she just stopped talking to me. She shut me out," he relayed. "I tried everything I could think of. I tried to make her really happy, I tried to make her really mad. She wouldn't talk to me."
"She won't talk to me either," Johnny said, resting a reassuring hand on Lucas's shoulder.
"I'm sorry," he responds, taking some measure of the blame upon himself. He felt that maybe if he'd had more patience with you, he could have helped you to get better. Now you were detaching yourself from not only him but your other friends and family as well. "Do you think she would want to see me?"
Your brother shrugged but a small smirk played on his lips. "I dunno. Maybe you should go find out tomorrow."
Needless to say, Lucas felt displaced and burdened by heavy guilt as he stood in your doorway, looking down on your fragile body. The last time he came knocking on your door in the most awful hours of the morning, he begged and cried on his knees for you not to leave him. He felt himself resist the urge to fall to the ground and repeat his mantra of pleas.
You didn't ask him why he was there so early in the morning, nor did you ask him if he wanted to come in. Your stare made his skin feel cold. He cleared his throat to dispel some of the awkward tension that he felt clawing at his airways.
"Can I come in?" Without a word, you moved to the side. "Thank you. Were you asleep?"
"No," you say simply, trailing behind him as he steps into your kitchen.
He lets out a low chuckle as he glances around the room. It looked so surprisingly unhomely and clean. Not a single dish in the sink, nor a potted plant out of place. "I keep messing up pretty badly, don't I?"
He hated the empty way you looked at him. It was as if you didn't know him. It was as if you had just let a complete stranger into your apartment.
"I don't understand, and I'm really trying to. I know that you know that things have changed since you got back. I don't know what that means yet, but I do know that I still love you. And that I'm stupid. I know that too."
You hummed along, a thoughtful expression overtaking your blank features.
"And I know that I’m sorry. I let a stupid idea get into my head and I let it hurt my own feelings. I shouldn’t have taken that out on you. Please don't leave me."
You didn't offer an answer, instead opening your arms and inviting him back into your embrace. He placed a small kiss on your lips, something he felt like he hadn't done in ages, and wrapped himself around you in an effort to keep you by his side forever.
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"Are you happy here in Seoul?" your boyfriend asked, picking at the grass in front of his crossed legs. He looked at you as you looked down at the water. "I mean, I know you don't want to go back to (country), and I have a feeling that you don't exactly want to go live with my family in China. But like, would you rather be in Bordeaux? Or would you rather stay here?"
"I don't know." He hummed and waited for you to elaborate, but you made no real effort to.
"I know that we're still young and we don't have to make any decisions about where we want to live yet," he cooed, looking up to watch the sun set behind the large city towers, "but would you stay here in Seoul with me for a little while?"
You nodded, reaching over to take his hand in your own before pulling him to lay in the grass with you.
"You know, you're not the same person that you were before you left. I've realized that," he said with a sad smile as he looked over at you and placed a small kiss on your chin, pulling a small giggle from your lips. "It's a pleasure to meet you. I can't wait to get to know you again."
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jaehyunsparadise · 5 years
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💌🍑🌸 𝚢𝚞𝚝𝚊 𝚍𝚘𝚎𝚜 𝚊 𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚙𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚘𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞💌🌸🍑
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pinksugamonster · 5 years
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Saddest “YO DREAM” 😔😫
Thank you baby leader 🦁
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Cr. To rightful owner
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youaremychwingum · 5 years
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[3:28 PM] yuta draws a heart on the foggy windshield of your car.
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cinaminho · 5 years
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Requested ship for: @chesungs 💌
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"Can i get a nct 127 ship?? I am a 05 liner I really enjoy BEING with MY friends and making them laugh. I really love music its really calm to me. I protect my friends at all costs. I laugh at anything and i get scared easily . Anyways can you do this if u have time thank you 💜 "
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NCT127: I ship you with, Taeyong.
A baby with the duality of... Well him. Taeyong protects all his children, he's a great leader who can also be silly. 9/10 you'll find Taeyong making weird noises, faces, malfunctioning, laughing at the smallest things often. I think he gets scared pretty easily and enjoys all types of music.
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^^ you got that right, honey
I do hope you liked my choice in shipping you with a 127 member 😘.
You guys can make other requests too not just ships, but if a ship is what you want then go right ahead and make the request, I do moodboards, imagines, scenarios, NO SMUT, nothing involving physical abuse, pretty much everything else is okay, though.
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kpopcorn-requests · 6 years
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Alone Forever (Soulmate AU Intro)
(A/N: I’m not sure who to make this about but I was trying to write something.~ Admin Mochi)
“I’m destined to be alone.” You’d say, “I’m not meant for anybody and nobody is meant for me.” Although, to others, it may sound harsh, you were content with the idea that you didn’t have a soulmate.
Soulmates, everyone had one, you’d know once you turned 21, a tattoo appeared on your left wrist of the date you would meet. Everybody had one- except you, apparently. But you were content being alone, being the introvert you were, you paid it no mind.
“Wouldn’t the tattoo have appeared by now?”, said Mina, your best and only friend. You guys grew up together and have been Bestfriends ever since you both could remember.
“Your 21st birthday was 2 weeks ago...”
“Minnie, it’s fine, I just don’t have a soulmate. There’s nothing to worry about.” You chuckle while giving her a reassuring smile.
“But that can’t be true; I can feel it, somebody has to be out there for you!” She explained, putting emphasis on the ‘has’.
You rolled your eyes and looked back to your study books, you were trying studying for your end-of-year finals coming up, but alas your Bestfriend had to come and distract you.
“Mina, remind me why you came over again.”
She got up from your bed and came to sit on your desk near your books,
“Yubin is at work and I was bored.”
She pouted. Yubin was her soulmate, she was pretty, sweet, and a very caring and intelligent person, they were perfect for each other and they were very happy together; you couldn’t lie, sometimes you wanted to have that too, but some things just aren’t meant to be.
Yubin was 25 while Mina was 21, They both got their tattoos the second it hit 12:00 am on their birthday, but you, you got nothing, at first you though that it was just a little late, but it’s been 2 weeks and still nothing, so you decide to focus on school; just as you’ve always done. It just wasn’t meant to be; Or so you thought, but that was before, Before you met him.
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hcneoctzen · 7 years
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me: *taking an important test*
my brain: *in Mark’s voice* UH that’s a long ass ride
me: wtf?? 
my brain: chew-chew-chew-chew chewing gum
me: please stop
my brain: SOBANGCHA
me: *crying* someone help
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johnny-suh-tiramisu · 2 years
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Song - SHIVERS BY ED SHEERAN ❤️✨
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𝓑𝓪𝓫𝔂, 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓫𝓾𝓻𝓷 𝓼𝓸 𝓱𝓸𝓽
𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓲𝓻𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓰𝓸𝓽
𝓣𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝔀𝓮 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓮𝓭, 𝓘 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽 𝓲𝓽 𝓽𝓸 𝓼𝓽𝓸𝓹
𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓴𝓷𝓸𝔀 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓶𝓪𝓴𝓮 𝓶𝓮 𝓼𝓱𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓻-
𝐵𝒶𝒷𝓎, 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒷𝓊𝓇𝓃 𝓈𝑜 𝒽𝑜𝓉
𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓂𝑒 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓋𝑒𝓇 𝓌𝒾𝓉𝒽 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝒻𝒾𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝑔𝑜𝓉
𝒯𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓌𝑒 𝓈𝓉𝒶𝓇𝓉𝑒𝒹, 𝐼 𝒹𝑜𝓃'𝓉 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝒾𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝓈𝓉𝑜𝓅
𝒴𝑜𝓊 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝓂𝑒 𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓋𝑒𝓇.
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johnny-suh-tiramisu · 3 years
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https://youtu.be/YW1mreHg-QA
Johfam, I made a playlist. If you got time please listen and support 🙏💚
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johnny-suh-tiramisu · 2 years
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youtube
Hello nctzens,
My new playlist of Yuta❤️
Please give a like and subscribe to my channel and share with your friends ❤️✨
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johnny-suh-tiramisu · 3 years
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I present you
Nakamoto Yuta
Your senpai, your daddy, your slow burn love, your unrequited love, first love🌸
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johnny-suh-tiramisu · 4 years
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Some lq photos of hq man Yuta❤️
Bless your eyes babes💋
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hyuckssunchip · 3 years
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Hasty Encounters, Hasty Decisions
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Pairings: Yuta x Reader, ft. nct 127
Words: 10K
Warnings: Language (there is almost always language in my writings), drinking, slight smut, insinuation of sex
Summary: 
Y/N and Yuta meet for the first time and learn quickly of not only their attractions, but also their many more differences. Painful words and revelations leave a deep ridge between the two of them, that is until someone makes a shocking confession. Will they continue to make hasty decisions, or will they learn to forgive and forget?
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Yuna was the exact opposite of you. She was gorgeous, outgoing and such a party person. You’d rather chill at home and binge your favorite drama for the billionth time, and that’s exactly how you planned to spend this weekend, however, Yuna had different plans.
“Come on, this is the last one of the semester! The NCT frat house always has legendary end of the semester parties. Besides you haven’t been to one yet, you need to broaden your horizons.” She kept jabbing your side, as if that was a good tactic to make you agree to her idea.
“No, I already set up my computer for six straight episodes of Penthouse, it’s too late now.” You gave her a triumphant grin, as if that were enough to get Yuna off your case.
“Are you serious right now?” She rolled her eyes at you, “This is ridiculous, I get that the actors are hot and all, but these are the hot guys in real life! Stop pining over some made up character and get it on with a real guy!”
“Who’s getting it on with a real guy?” 
“Mark, Yuna keeps trying to take away my drama time, she’s trying to force me to go to a frat party.” You whined to him. Surely he would take your side, he’s a homebody just like yourself.
“The NCT frat party? I heard those are awesome. Why don’t you want to go?”
Sike.
“Ugh, I can’t believe you Mark, you’re supposed to take my side unconditionally.”
“Right… Yuna why do you want her to go so badly?”
“Mark, don’t you want to go to the party? They’re even better than what people say.”
“Really?”
“Mark!” You tugged at his shirt.
“What? I’ve always wanted to go. You know you should really get out there more. I think Yuna’s right on this one.”
“See?” Yuna gave you a smug look.
“Mark, you’re not helping.”
He swung his arm over your shoulder and pulled you closer, “Maybe you should go to this one, I think it’ll be fun.”
“You’re only saying that cause you want to go.”
“Is it working?” He grinned at you before you shrugged his arm off your shoulder.
“No. I already told you, I’ve got a busy weekend up ahead.”
“Yeah of bingeing dramas.” Yuna put her hands on her hips in protest.
Mark tilts his head at you, “How about this? If you go this weekend, I promise that I will help you set up that editing software on your computer that you’ve been wanting.”
“Deal.” There was no hesitation. You’ve been dying for him to help you for months but he never got around to it.
“Damn, that was easy.” Yuna grinned, “I’ve got tons of stuff you can borrow for tomorrow night!”
“What’s wrong with my stuff?” You frowned.
“Umm… have you seen your closet?” There was a snicker from beside you, but it was quickly cut off when you elbowed him in the side.
“I agree with Yuna on this one too.” Mark said, rubbing his side where you had just jabbed him. “Your clothes just aren’t suitable for a frat party.”
“And how would you know?” You mocked him, knowing he’d never been to one before.
“I’ve seen many movies, thank you very much.”
“Not the same Mark, but regardless you both are coming with me.” Yuna spoke up, “My class is gonna start in fifteen and it’s across campus so I’ve gotta go, but I’ll see you later. Don’t think you can ditch this one!”
She ran off in the other direction before there was room for response.
“She’s something else, isn’t she?” Mark chuckled, throwing his hands in his pockets.
“Yeah, ever since she and Johnny broke up, it’s like she’s going there to make sure he sees that she’s doing fine. To be honest, I’m a little worried about her.”
“Everyone goes through different ways of mourning y’know? That’s just Yuna.” He shrugged, kicking the stone in front of him. 
You dropped it, feeling the mellow mood.
“Well, I should head to class then, I’ll see you at lunch yeah?” You nodded in response and with that he left.
“Sure.” Your eyes followed his back as he continued kicking stones out of his way.
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Beep Beep!
“Are you sure this isn’t too short? I’m pretty sure you can see all of my ass.”
“Y/N, that’s the point.” You shot her a look. “Besides you’ll be so drunk you’ll feel fantastic either way. You look hot.” She flashed you a smile and grabbed your arm.
“Now come on! Mark’s waiting.”
You groaned, dragging your feet in resistance. The couch looked so comfy right now.
Beep Beep!
“Yeah we get it Mark!” Yuna yelled, “Come on.”
You were pushed into the passenger seat and she slammed the door on you, sliding into the back right after. 
Yuna leaned forward resting her arms on the both of the seats in front of her. “Ready?”
You rolled your eyes, leaning your head against the window. You glanced at Mark, who was staring at the rear view mirror. You smiled at his face.
“Wow.” He cleared his throat, shaking his head and glancing at you. “You look great. You guys look great.”
You sent him a small smile, but went back to looking out the window. 
“Of course we do, we spent hours on this.” Yuna scoffed. 
“Right.” With one last glance in the mirror at Yuna, he started the car and headed to the address.
“How long are we staying?” You asked, starting to get nervous.
“How ever long we want to. You know you could even stay the night.” She wiggled her eyebrows at you, but in vain.
“You’re ridiculous.”
“Right. Just make sure you text me to let me know if you’re going home with someone.” She laughed, “That goes for all of us, I don’t want to be stranded without a ride home Mark.” 
Mark blushed and shook his head, not really replying.
There was a comfortable silence throughout the ride and you hadn’t noticed that you had already arrived until the echoing sound of music hit your ears.
“Alright! Are we ready!?” Suddenly you had a headache, and Yuna was not helping.
You were unceremoniously dragged out of the car while Mark, slowly clambored out of his side.
“Let’s go already.” 
“You know I can walk on my own right?”
“I know, but you’re a flight risk.” She gripped my arm tighter and pulled you to the front of the frat, skipping the large line that seemed to wrap around the street.
“Yuna! Pleasure to see you again!” And with that you were let in.
It felt as though you were entering a whole new world when you walked through that door. You saw many familiar faces, and many unfamiliar. 
“How about we start off with drinks?” She hooked her arms into both yours and Mark’s and dragged you to the makeshift bar. You held eye contact with Mark before letting out a sheepish grin. 
If there’s gonna be lots of alcohol involved, how bad could it be?
“Yuna! I’ve got special mixes for you, unless you’re here for the hard stuff. But you know how good my cocktails are. So what are we starting off with?” The man with silver brown hair at the table shouted over the music.
“Taeil!” Yuna smiled, giving him a small hug, leaving you and Mark feeling empty and vulnerable. “I’ll take you up on your mix, I know how many shots you can get into a cocktail. These are my friends, Y/N and Mark. Can you show them a bit of your magic?”
There was a friendly laugh as the man, Taeil, shot you both a smile. “Of course! Is this your first time here?” He asked whilst pouring his concoction.
You nodded silently, looking at Yuna for help, but she wasn’t paying any attention.
“Thought so, I would definitely remember someone like you.” He gave you a wink, handing the first one to you.
You immediately sipped it, not knowing how to answer his comment, evident in your blushing face. 
“Oh my god. This is amazing.” You looked up at him, actually confused at how you couldn’t taste the alcohol, seeing as you saw just how much he poured into that drink.
“That’s Taeil for you, he knows how to get everyone the most fucked up.” She grinned at him, taking both drinks from him and handing one to Mark, keeping the other for herself. 
He grinned, “Of course, come back when you’re done, I’ve got plenty more where that came from.”
“You’ll be seeing plenty of me.” She sang back while dragging the two of you off again. She pulled you to a crowd of yelling people, and as curious as you were, you’d much rather sit on the couch and sip your drink.
“Okay but actually what’s in this?” Mark asked, he sounded as amazed as you felt and you laughed at his expression. 
“I don’t know, but it’s amazing right?” You took another sip, turning your attention to the loud cheers from the people around you.
Some unfortunate frat boy was doing a keg stand, held up by Johnny. “Jungwoo! Man, you good? That was a shit ton this time.”
The boy with fluffy brown haired grinned toothily, “I don’t know man, I’m feeling pretty good right now.”
“Alright, you go have fun then.” Johnny laughed, shoving the keg under a table. “Beer pong anyone?”
You rolled your eyes. Johnny and Yuna had dated for a short time earlier this year, but you never really liked Johnny. I mean in general he was a fun guy, everyone liked him, it was hard for you not to. But as a boyfriend? With Yuna? Nope. You saw what she went through and that wasn’t healthy. It’s not like you hated him, in fact you and Johnny had plenty of fun conversations, but he was too out there for you.
You sighed, turning away from the commotion of guys trying to earn the chance to play against Johnny.
“Hey where are you going?” Yuna asked, still staring at the table. You pointed to your now empty drink, “I’m gonna get more!” You yelled back.
She loosened her grip nodding, but you were sure she stopped listening.
“You want me to go with you?” Mark asked, but you could tell he wanted to stay with Yuna and watch. 
“No I’m fine. I’ll be back soon, I’ll probably get a drink and then some fresh air. I promise.” He nodded, frowning at you. At least he cared enough to look worried. 
You headed back to the familiar table, “Back so soon?”
“Yeah, I don’t even remember drinking all of it.” You laughed, “That probably means it’s working right?”
He chuckled, “It works wonders. So what do you want this time? Something strong or sweet or just something that’ll knock you out?”
You giggled at the offer, “You know, as tempting as that last one is, I think I’ll just go with sweet. Make it so I can’t taste it.”
“Right, coming right up.” 
There was another obnoxious cheer. “Yuta! Yuta! Yuta!”
“What are they up to? Beer pong?” He asked, back facing the crowd.
“Yeah.”
“Go figures, that’s the only game Yuta slaughters Johnny in.” He laughed, shaking his head.
“Hey can I get something?” The keg boy from earlier stumbled up to you, obviously having trouble standing still.
“Jungwoo, man what’s up?” Taeil chuckled, handing you your drink as he faced the boy. 
“I feel great.” The grin was so endearing that you felt the need to smile with him. 
“I’m sure you do buddy. You wanted a drink right?” Taeil reached down for a bottle of Vodka from under the table. You frowned, looking at the half full bottle still on the counter.
“Yeah,” The boy giggled, turning to face you. “Hi. I’m Jungwoo. You’re kinda hot.”
You blushed, sipping your drink. You shouldn’t have been affected, this boy was drunk out of his mind, he probably thought that anything with two legs was hot.
“Here you go buddy. I made this one good, you probably can’t even taste it.” Taeil walked around the table to hand it to Jungwoo, standing next to you.
Jungwoo sipped it, nodding his head contently. 
Taeil bent down and whispered in your ear, “ Don’t worry, it’s just pineapple juice mixed with water. He won’t even tell the difference.” He pulled back giving you a grin.
“Hey Jungwoo, why don’t you take this pretty lady outside for some fresh air, I think she could use it.” He winked at you and pointed his head in direction of the empty backyard. 
“Of course I will.” He grinned, sticking his elbow out for you to grab, to which you complied and sent Taeil a little smile on your way out. 
You sat on the stairs of the deck, Jungwoo landing next to you. He was having a little more difficulty trying to sit down without falling over. 
“So what’s your name?”
“Y/N.” You answered softly, taking another sip. It looked like this one was going to be finished just as fast as the last. You shook your head worried about future you.
“Huh. Cute.” He took a long sip of his.
Again you blushed. You really needed to stop doing that every time some guy talks to you.
“You know you’re kinda cute to be hanging out here.” He commented mindlessly, chewing on a block of ice.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, like you’re hot, but you seem like you’re too sweet y’know, to be hanging out at a frat house.”
You giggled, “It’s not like I wanted to come here. But you know I’m not having a bad time.” 
Another sip.
“Yeah? That’s good. You a student here?”
“Yeah.”
“Cool. I’m a Sophomore, what are you?” He was a bit blunt, but you didn’t mind, the alcohol was kicking in and you were beginning to think everything was funny. Honestly, sober you would’ve probably thought this whole situation was funny too.
“I’m a Junior.”
“Oh.”
He paused, thinking.
“You know I’m into older women.”
You laughed, throwing your head back. And he grinned at you, leaning back on his elbows, his drink long gone. 
“Well that’s a shame, cause I’m into older men.” He pouted at you. 
“People actually think I’m a lot older than I am.”
“I’m sure they do Jungwoo.”
He grinned at you.
“Hey, I kinda like the way my name sounds coming out of your mouth.”
Again, you couldn’t stop the bubble of laughter from erupting. 
“Jungwoo, you’re a total flirt.” You had your hand covering your mouth as you tried to stop the giggles, swaying towards him. 
He let out a little giggle. You lost your balance and fell towards him, leaning against his shoulder. Jungwoo could hardly manage to keep himself up let alone both your weights. The two of you tumbled flat on the deck, in giggling fits. 
You sighed, finally calming yourself as you rolled over staring at the black sky, not a single star in sight.
You turned your head sharply and faced Jungwoo, his nose only and inch away from yours. You could tell he wasn’t paying much attention to you as he eyes were trained on your lips. 
“You wanna dance?”
“Huh?”
“I wanna dance. Are you coming?” You attempted to push yourself up, struggling for a good minute.
Jungwoo followed, “Yeah, only if you help me get up, I think I might be a little drunk.” He laughed to himself.
“A little?” You had no right to tease him.
Pulling each other up, you guys somehow managed to make it back inside. As you stumbled inside together Mark happened to find you, holding on to your waist to stabilize you. 
“Dude where were you? I’ve been looking all over for you.” You giggled, hanging on to both Mark and Jungwoo. He sniffed, smelling the alcohol on you.
“How much did you drink? You smell like a sketchy gas station.” His nose crinkled.
Jungwoo stumbled, pulling you and consequently Mark with him. 
“Woah man, maybe you should sit down.” Mark reached his arm out to grab Jungwoo.
“But I’m gonna dance with Y/N.” He whined, but nevertheless letting Mark lead him to the couch.
“Next time yeah?” 
Jungwoo nodded, gladly sinking into the cushion.
“Y/N how about you? You good?” Mark asked, leaning down to your eye level. You leaned your head against his chest and closed your eyes for a bit. 
“Mmmmm.”
“Mmmmm? What’s that mean? You need something?” You shook your head, opting to wrap your arms around his waist. 
The two of you swayed there for a bit, until you started to feel dizzy. “Water?”
“Huh?” His head was resting on top of yours. “You want water?” He pulled away, once again looking you in the eyes.
He nodded slowly at you, “Okay, I’ll get you water, you just stay right here okay?”
You leaned against the couch and smiled at him nodding in response. 
He was only gone for a moment when you felt a presence invading your space. “Is that your boyfriend?”
You opened your eyes. 
Woah.
He smiled at you, liking your reaction, “Woah?”
Your heart skipped a beat.
Your hand reached for the lock of blonde hair nearest to you. He chuckled, grabbing your hand, “I’m gonna go with no then.”
You looked up at him, wide eyed earning you a grin. “Wanna dance?”
There was nothing left to do but nod.
He grabbed your head, softly pulling you towards the space everyone was dancing on. From the corner of your eye, you could’ve sworn you saw Yuna making out with that guy from your Calculus class but you shook it off, there were more important things in front of you.
You were tugged against his chest, and the heat coming off his chest making you feel dizzy. After a few moments he turned you around, placing his hand under your chin, leaning your head back in the crevice of his neck. You closed your eyes. His hands once softly gripping your waist dug into your hips, dragging you closer if that was possible. As your bodies grinded against each other, you felt his lips make contact with your exposed neck. You gasped, stretching your neck more in order to give him as much access as you could. Already you could feel the spots where hickies would be impossible to hide the next day, but you didn’t care. 
Soon the kisses and licks turned into love bites and the grip on your waist grew firmer. It was becoming much easier to feel the growing eagerness of your partner. You rotated your hips, pushing back into him and he threw his head back groaning. 
“Fuck, how about we take this upstairs?” He moaned into your ear, sending shivers down your spine. You felt your stomach clench.
Somehow you made it upstairs, stumbling through frenzied kisses and already swollen lips. He pushed your backwards through a wooden door frame and immediately turned you around as he slammed the door shut. He trapped you against the cool wood panel before attacking your neck once more, you let out a gasp, running his hands over his chest. His lips didn’t stop attacking until he found your sweet spot, you moaned, fingers tangling in his hair pulling slightly. He moaned into your neck before swearing and pushing you towards the bed. 
Before you had even made it there he managed to rid you of your dress.
“Fuck, you know that shit really wasn’t leaving much for the imagination.” He quickly pulled his top off and pushed you down, crawling you top of you to leave a trail of kisses down your body.
“God, you’re fucking hot.” He groaned as his lips traced the black lace of your bra that Yuna forced you into.
You sunk further into the bed, his body crashing into yours, unbelievably close, as his fingers left blazing hot trails on your body.
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You were wrapped around each other in the morning as you woke up. Your eyes opened slowly meeting the already awake eyes of the man next to you. For a moment you stared at each other in silence, relishing the peaceful moments before your hangover would kick in.
There was a loud clang from downstairs, causing you to flinch. The moment was over.
He pulled away from you harshly turning to throw on sweats and a shirt before moving past you to the bathroom. You wrapped yourself in the sheets sitting up and watched his back.
He hesitated for a moment before turning back to face you, “Don’t you know to leave before I wake up?” He gave you a one over while shaking his head at you. “It was just a fuck.”
You sat in silence, only jumping at the sound of the bathroom door slamming. Suddenly you felt sick. You scrambled out of bed to find the pieces of last night’s outfit scattered around the floor.
As soon as you were dressed and you cleaned yourself up as much as you could in the mirror, you ran towards the stairs. The smell of bacon wafted past you, making you wish you didn’t feel the nausea that was slowly rising. 
“Y/N?” Taeil turned to see you rush past the kitchen. You stopped, backtracking to the doorway and gave him a tentative smile.
He looked at his watch and frowned, “You’re still here?”
“She was with Yuta.” A boy with black curly hair and a grey hoodie said, munching on his apple. He spun in his chair before stopping in your direction.
Yuta? Well shit, you didn’t even know his name until now.
“I’m surprised you’re still here. Yuta usually makes sure his girls leave before he wakes up. Honestly, most of them don’t even get to spend the night, he just kicks them out after his little escapade. I’m Doyoung by the way.” He flashed a little smile and tilted his head at you.
“Oh.” You blushed looking down at your feet. “I was just on my way out.” 
He nodded, getting what you meant. 
“Oh? Y/N?” You turned to find a familiar face. 
“Jungwoo?” He smiled sheepishly at you, rubbing the back of his neck. 
“Sorry about last night. I don’t really remember much except us falling over each other. I didn’t make you feel uncomfortable did I?”
You blushed in response. “No, trust me I think it was mutual last night.” You laughed nervously, rubbing your arms, suddenly immensely aware of your less than modest outfit. 
“Here!” Jungwoo stripped off his blue hoodie, leaving him in a plain white tee. He stuck his hand out, offering you the jacket, which you took gratefully. Even though you weren’t planning on staying long, it was freezing outside and you’d have to wait for a ride to come get you.
Mark! You totally forgot to tell him, you mentally slapped your forehead, knowing that he wasn’t going to let this go too easily. 
The sweatshirt hung just above the length of your dress, not doing much for modesty down there, but it still felt more comfortable than before. 
There was a slam and a girl came running down the stairs and towards the door, she gave you a knowing glance before exiting the building.
You sighed, you should probably get going now, Mark was going to throw a fit but you knew he'd show up anyways.
A hand came down on your shoulder, the man behind it chuckling as he watched the scene. 
“You staying for breakfast Y/N?” He moved around you, grabbing a plate from Taeil and sitting down.
“Jaehyun.” You froze. You and Jaehyun were kind of friends. You had met through Yuna and Johnny. Actually you got along really well with him, you just lost contact after Johnny and Yuna broke up.
He flashed you a dimpled smile.
“No, I should get going.”
He nodded, already digging in, “You have a ride back?”
You paused. He noticed, looking up at you. 
“Give me five minutes, let me just finish this and I’ll drop you off. Okay?” 
You nodded and gave him a smile. Five minutes wouldn’t hurt right? Besides then you wouldn’t have to bug Mark so early. 
It was 11 am, but he was probably still knocked out. A ride with Jaehyun wouldn’t kill you. He patted the seat next to you and you took up his offer.
“Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?” Jungwoo set his plate down opposite of you.
You shook your head, “I don’t think I could keep it down.” 
“Right.” He paused, looking at his own food with hesitation before shrugging and taking a bite. 
Doyoung laughed, sinking into the seat next to the boy, “He’ll probably throw it up, but then he’ll say he made more room and eat again.”
Jungwoo shoved him whilst mid-bite before focusing on the task before him.
You looked at him, “How about you?” Referencing the lone apple in his hand. 
“Oh I don’t drink enough to get sick in the mornings, I’m just less of a bacon dude, more of an apple guy.” He grinned, taking a bite. 
“Johnny?” Taeil asked.
Jaehyun leaned back in his chair, grabbing the coffee Taeil just sat down. 
“Sleeping, you know how he is the day after.”
Taeil nodded, “Yeah, I figured, but I thought he’d smell the bacon and be the first one down.” He laughed to himself grabbing another cup of coffee and raised it in your direction.
You shook your head smiling. Jaehyun threw his arm around the back of your chair and you looked at him. He was sipping the coffee and frowning ahead of him.
“What are you still doing here? Did I not make it clear that you should leave?” Your eyes widened at the sound of the voice you heard this morning. 
“Yuta!” Taeil scolded, still setting down a plate for him. He shrugged in response taking the seat at the head of the table, farthest from you.
Jungwoo looked up intensely chewing and just as intensely glancing between the two of you.
You shrunk down in your seat, avoiding eye contact with him. Jaehyun glanced at you and set down his mug. 
“You ready?” He asked, standing up with a stretch. You immediately followed his lead. 
“Yeah.”
“Let me grab my keys real quick. You haven’t moved right?” 
You nodded, watching Jaehyun jog up the stairs for a moment.
Taeil came and stood next to you, cup in hand, “You guys close?”
You shrugged, turning back to face him. “We used to be.”
He nodded silently, watching Jaehyun reappear.
“Got everything?” He asked, opening the door as you started towards the exit. You nodded and turned back to the kitchen one last time, sending a wave and a smile. 
You didn’t miss Yuta’s scowl.
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“Don’t mind Yuta, he’s just usually cranky the night after.” Jaehyun reassured you, but it didn’t do much good. 
You looked out the window and nodded silently.
“Did you atleast enjoy last night?” He asked, attempting at rekindling the conversation.
“Yeah, I think I did. Honestly a lot of it was a blur.” You let out a strained laugh.
He joined you, “That’s what makes it so fun.”
“Yeah, I guess so.”
There was a comfortable silence. The car jolted to a stop.
“This is you right?”
You had zoned out and missed half the ride back.
“Oh! Yeah, thanks for the ride. Mark would’ve killed me if I asked him to pick me up.”
He nodded, “No problem. I didn’t mind at all. We should hang out again, I’ve missed you.”
You grinned, “Same, we’ll definitely hang out, just let me know when and where.” 
“Will do.”
You shivered as you stepped out of the car and slammed the door. You stepped back, wrapping your arms around yourself and gave a short wave as he left before making your way to your door.
You let yourself in quietly, taking off your heels and turning around only to let out a startled scream.
“Yuna?! What the hell are you doing?! You scared the shit out of me!” 
Yuna was sitting on the couch staring at the front door, looking as if she had been waiting all night.
“Well? How was last night? I’m assuming things went well because here you are waltzing in at 11:30 in the morning.” She was taunting you.
You groaned, “At least let me shower first.”
She squealed, clapping her hands whilst bouncing on the couch.
You paused, “Last night… Mark…”
Her face scrunched up, “Yeah, he’s kind of pissed. We both forgot to tell him… but we’ll make it up to him. I was thinking we’d bring him lunch.”
“Oh. Okay.”
“Wait?! Both forgot? Did you hook up with someone again?!”
She continued shaking her head with a bright smile and shoved you towards the bathroom. “Clean up first!”
She laughed at your protest but you eventually gave in.
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“Maaarrrk. Come on, we said we’re sorry. I mean honestly we were both drunk out of our minds, how could we have even texted you?” Yuna pouted at him, something she always did to get her way with him.
He looked away, staring at the cupcakes you had brought as a peace offering.
“If it makes you feel any better I made a complete fool out of myself this morning.” You said, still twiddling your thumbs. 
He cocked his head slightly, an indication that you had his attention.
“The guy I slept with totally threw me out.”
He frowned, looking at you, “Why on earth would that make me feel any better?”
You shrugged avoiding eye contact.
“Who was it?”
“What? Are you gonna beat him up?” Yuna asked, laughing as she stole a cupcake.
“Maybe.” He turned his attention to you, “So who?”
“Yuta.”
“Yuta? As NCT frat boy Yuta? Why would you sleep with him?” He asked, his voice increasing a decibel. 
“Umm.. Have you seen him? He’s hot as hell.” Yuna said, licking the frosting off her fingers before giving him a look. “I’m glad she did. It’s about time she got some action.”
“How can you be glad she slept with him? He’s a total asshole! Plus he kicked her out this morning!” He asked, reaching for the coveted cupcake. She slapped his hand away, taking a bite.
“Okay, but everyone knows when you sleep with someone at a party, you don’t stay the night, or you at least don’t stay long enough for breakfast in the morning. No offense.” The last part directed at you, but you just continued to stare at the floor.
“Well, wouldn’t you know?” Mark spat out, for once losing his temper. 
Yuna paused and gave him a look. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. It’s just that, just because you go sleeping around and know the ‘etiquette’ or whatever, doesn’t mean that someone like Y/N would know.” He turned around blocking himself off from her gaze.
“Whatever. I don’t need this.” She stood up grabbing her bag. “We came to apologize, I didn’t come to be attacked. You know I’m sorry I ditched you last night but I don’t need to be called a whore cause you’re still pissy about the whole thing.” 
She slammed the door on the way out, glaring at nothing in particular.
Well. There goes your ride.
Mark sighed, slouching into the cushion of his couch.
“I didn’t call her a whore. At least I didn’t mean to. It’s just she was totally attacking you, and you did nothing wrong. Except maybe sleep with a dickwad.” He groaned, rubbing his hands on his face. “I would never kick you out like that.”
“I know.” You replied, leaning into his side. “I don’t think she’s actually that mad, she’s just struggling right now. You know how she’s been since they broke up.”
“I just think she’s so desensitized, that she doesn’t even know how to be treated right.”
“I know.” You sighed, resting your head on his shoulder. 
The two of you sat in silence for a while.
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They weren’t his frat brothers but you were sure he told them all about you and your mistake, judging by the way they were laughing at you.
“Screw them.” Yuna said, glaring at the group. “It’s not even that big of a deal, he should be honored he slept with you.”
You kept your head down, mentally cursing yourself for ever letting him get to you.
The semester had already ended and you had almost forgotten about the frat house and the embarrassment that followed, that is until Yuta and his friends sat themselves behind you in lecture today.
Yuna made a face at you, an attempt to brighten you up. A whole semester with them behind you? This was an actual nightmare.
“Where is Mark?” Yuna muttered checking her phone. “Look I’ve got to go or I’ll be late to my class but you’ll have Mark so don’t let them get to you alright?” 
You nodded, playing with the strings of your sweatshirt. With one last glare Yuna exited the back of the lecture hall.
You felt a presence next you and you stiffened.
“This’ll be fun, don’t you think?” You groaned, of course he would have the nerve to sit next to you only as soon as Yuna leaves. 
You chose to ignore him.
You didn’t have to look at him to tell that he was smirking, “Luck really was on my side-”
“That’s my seat.”
Both you and Yuta looked up and you sighed in relief seeing that it was Mark, “I don’t see a name on it.” Yuta cocked his head, the smirk still plastered over his face. 
Mark just stared at him, not moving. 
Eventually Yuta sighed, standing up and staring down at Mark, the height difference only enhancing the mood he was going for. “It’s a shame you’re no fun.” He moved to the seat behind yours and rested his feet on the back of your chair.
You grimaced as you felt the pressure, and rolled your eyes in annoyance. Mark sat down, turning to you.
“You good?” He asked, leaning in close to you.
Again, you nodded silently.
This was going to be a long semester.
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“Are you still coming over to my place tonight?” Mark asked, packing his notebook in his bag.
Nodding, you replied, “Yeah, I still have clothes there right? I’ve got to run to the library and get some stuff first, then I’ll just come over.”
“Yeah, if not, you can just borrow something of mine.” 
You nodded in agreement, watching as the last of his things were secured in his bag. 
“Alright, I’m gonna head out, text me if you need anything.” He waved back at you and made his way out of the hall.
You felt Yuta lean his head forward inches away from yours. You flinched away, bending down to get your things.
“You have plans tonight?” You frowned at his question, or rather statement. He had obviously heard the conversation between you and Mark.
You chose to ignore him, one of your greater ideas.
“Umm.. There’s a party this weekend, if you wanna come.”
You struggled to hold back a snort. Was this his new way of tormenting you? Why on earth would you go to another one of his frat parties?
“It’s for Jaehyun’s birthday.”
You froze, hand half way in your backpack. After a moment you stood up, clearing your throat, attempting to move towards the exit only to find him blocking your way.
You peered behind him, his regular clique of friends long gone, you frowned. 
“What?” You breathed out, tired of whatever mind game that he wanted to play.
He stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, the ever present scowl replaced by a timid look.
“I think it’d be nice of you to go. Cause you’re friends and all.” He shrugged half heartedly, like he was struggling to ask you to go.
He glanced at your scrunched face, confusion written all over it. 
“It’s gonna be a small party, not like a huge thing. Just the boys and a few friends.” He rubbed the back of his neck, “It’s gonna be really chill.”
“Right.”
You hesitated to ask for the date and time, but it was for Jaehyun’s birthday so you felt obligated. 
You and Jaehyun had gotten closer over the last few months, a small joy in a hectic semester. 
“It’s Friday, at seven. Don’t feel obligated to bring anything but yourself.” He sent you a small smile, one that sent an unsettling feeling through your stomach. 
You nodded, skeptical of the situation. Your mind was racing, an internal struggle overwhelming you.
By the time you had focused back in, there was a stream of students passing by you, already entering for the next lecture, Yuta no where to be found. 
You sighed, hiking your backpack up on your back and heading towards the library. 
It was hard to concentrate on the task ahead of you, especially when all you had was thoughts of what was to come this weekend. 
“Excuse me.” You flinched, nodding apolegitcally at the girl who reached for a book that you were blocking. 
You shook your head, trying to remember what you had come here for. After a half and hour of racking your brain you gave up, opting to just go to Mark’s.
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“So I didn’t find any of your clothes, but you’ve got your toothbrush here.” You weren’t focused on what Mark was saying, walking into his apartment in a daze. 
“Y/N?” You turned to face him, eyes slightly more alert.
“What are you thinking about so hard?”
You sighed, flopping on to the couch and closed your eyes.
He sat next to you, and you felt his intense gaze over you.
You sat up suddenly, facing him. “What would you do if you had a friend who wasn’t really on good terms with a friend of a friend and you were invited to this friend’s kickback but it would be awkward to bring your other friend, but then it would be wrong if you didn’t tell this friend about the party, but it would also be bad to not go to the other friend’s party cause it’s his birthday?”
“What?” 
You sighed, collecting your thoughts. “Jaehyun’s frat is having a party to celebrate his birthday and I was invited.”
“Okay... so?” He furrowed his eyebrows. 
“It’s supposed to be a small thing, like just the frat and a few friends.”
“Right? What’s the problem?”
“Mark, what do I tell Yuna? I can’t tell her that I’m going to a party cause she’ll want to come, but that would be weird because it’s a small thing, and you know,,, Johnny. I’m sure she’ll end up making a scene.”
Mark sighed, looking away from you. “Just don’t tell her, or do, and just say she can’t go. I don’t really care.” 
He stood up making his way to the kitchen. You groaned. Mark and Yuna haven’t quite been the same since the incident after the party. You haven’t found them willingly enter the same room, and even if they were forced to, they refused to interact. You were often caught in the middle of they’re snide remarks regarding each other.
“I don’t really want to go alone though. I’m not close enough with any of the frat guys to hang out there.” You griped, hands fiddling with your sleeves again.
“I thought you were cool with them.”
“Yeah, we’re friendly enough, but it’s still awkward.”
There was a poignant pause. 
“Mark?” You whined, hoping that he would catch the hint.
“No, I’m done with parties.” He held up a hand, waving it in refusal.
“But it’s going to be a small one, it’s not even a real party. Please?”
“Are you even allowed to bring anyone?”
You shrugged, “He didn’t say, but it doesn’t matter, they won’t make you leave. And if they do then I’ll just say hi to Jaehyun and then leave.”
He rubbed his hands over his eyes. “Who even invited you?”
“Yuta.” You whispered out.
“Yuta? Why would he invite you?” He frowned, deep in his own thoughts.
“He said it would be nice for Jaehyun. Plus I doubt he’s going to do anything, especially because it’s Jae’s birthday. You know as much as a dick he is to girls, he probably cares about his frat brothers.” You found yourself defending Yuta.
He shot you a look, before shaking his head. 
“You owe me.”
You grinned, pumping your fists in victory.
“Yes! I owe you a thousand times.” You stood up, “Where my sweats?”
“You mean my sweats.” He just shook his head and pointed towards his room, “They’re on my chair.”
You slid past his door, grabbing hold of the sweats that had been designated as yours. 
After changing a picture on his desk caught your eye. It was a photo of the three of you at the beach, a memory made last year during spring break. You smiled to yourself, eyes tracing over the bright smiles. Your eyes shook as they reached Mark’s profile, too busy staring at Yuna to focus on the lense of the camera. 
You winced, recognizing the way that he looked at Yuna, your heart broke for him. It wasn’t the first time you noticed the way he watched her, but seeing it so definite made you hurt for him.
“Y/N? You coming? I’m gonna start the movie if you don’t hurry your ass up!” Mark shouted from the living room, and you tore yourself away, skidding back to the couch.
“Stop doing that, you’re gonna crash into something.” He laughed at you.
“What’s the point of having hardwood floors then?” You climbed over the back of the couch after dumping your clothes next to your bag. 
“Who said you got to choose?” You grumbled to yourself.
“Me, cause you owe me a thousand favors now.” You smiled cheesily at him, hoping to ease his irritation with the situation you dragged him into.
“Right. Do you want anything to drink, eat, possibly a foot massage that would appease you?”
He shoved you upon hearing your teasing tone. “Don’t make me regret this.”
You laughed, turning to focus on the screen ahead of you.
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You opted for something a bit more casual than what you wore the last time you entered the frat house, definitely a bit more modest. 
The mood was totally different the moment that you passed the door. 
“Y/N! You came!” You smiled at the familiar face.
“Of course I came, it’s Jae’s birthday.”
Jungwoo peered at Mark who stood next to you, taking in the house as if it was his first time seeing it. 
“Who’s this?” He frowned, racking his brain and trying to connect face to name.
“Oh you probably don’t remember.” You laughed at the memory, “This is Mark, he kind of took care of you at the party we met at.”
His eyes flashed at sudden recognition.
“Oh! Right, you were the one that stole Y/N away from me! I never did get that dance.” He grinned cheekily at Mark’s flustered expression.
“Don’t worry, I’m not planning on drinking that much this time.” He winked at you.
“That’s what you said last time.” A skinny boy with wide eyes interrupted him, throwing his arm around his shoulder.
The newcomer smiled at you, eyes turning into half moons. “I’m Taeyong, I don’t think we’ve met.”
“That’s cause you haven’t.” The familiar laid back tone answered before you a chance to. 
“You were out of town the last time she was here.” Doyoung faced you, giving you a brief smile before turning back to Taeyong. “You know if you stuck around and chilled like everyone else then you would’ve known.”
You felt the tension between the two of them, glancing at Mark who had the same expression on his face. 
“I’m here now, so what’s the problem?” The tone was less teasing than you expected, obviously things weren’t smooth between the two of them.
“It doesn’t matter, if you didn’t up and leav-”
“Her name’s Y/N.” Jungwoo interrupted, not caring that it wasn’t quite the right timing to introduce you.
The irritation washed off Taeyong’s face as he sent you a soft smile. “It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.” He winked at your nervous expression. “I’d love to stay and chat, but I think I need a drink.” After sending Doyoung a glare he found Taeil close by.
“Sorry about that.” Doyoung muttered embarrassed, but he didn’t seem too genuine about his apology.
You smiled back at him, another awkward glance at Mark.
“Well drinks anyone?” Jungwoo asked, hoping to lighten the mood. 
“Do you think that’s a good idea?” You giggled at him. 
He glared at you teasingly, “What are you trying to say?”
“Okay okay, here.” Taeil swept by shoving a handful of drinks in your direction.
“Well that was easy.” Jungwoo commented before moving to greet the next newcomer. 
With everything happening so quickly you hadn’t noticed that Doyoung had also escaped.
“See. I told you it would be awkward, if you weren’t here I’d be standing alone in a corner.” You shoved Mark’s side, handing him your drink.
“What’s this?” 
“I’m not drinking tonight. I don’t want to do anything stupid again, drink up.” He grinned at you.
“Well I guess this is payment enough.”
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It was some time later that you found yourself laughing alongside Jaehyun when you realized that you hadn’t seen Mark it a while.
“I’m gonna go grab a water.” You excused yourself and set out to find him.
“You came.” You jumped at the sound of Yuta’s voice, uncomfortably close to you.
You spun around, facing him. 
“You brought your little boyfriend though.” He was obviously drunk, more so than the last time. Or perhaps you were just more aware and now you could notice his tendencies. 
“Right. Have you seen him?” You asked curtly, trying to focus on the task at hand. 
“So he is your boyfriend?” The alcohol had definitely left him no control over his emotions as you frowned at the crestfallen look on his face. 
“No, Yuta focus. Have you seen Mark?” 
“I don’t like him.”
You rolled your eyes, starting to enjoy teasing him. “Why not?”
“He’s too touchy with you.”
You cocked your head to the side. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Only your boyfriend should touch you like that. You guys are like hugging and stuff.” He pouted at you, a new version of Yuta you had never imagined.
“You touched me.” You mumbled out, watching his reaction.
“Can I be your boyfriend?” 
You stepped back, nervous for the first time. This version of Yuta made you uncomfortable. You were so used to the asshole that made snide comments and teased you. You knew it was just the alcohol talking but you felt restless upon seeing this new side of him. 
Out of the corner of your eye you spotted your savior.
“Mark!” The boy spun around face bursting into a smile as he made his way over to you, slinging his arm over your shoulder. 
“Y/N where’ve you been? I lost you.” His smile faded as he noticed your company. “What are you doing here?”
His tone had turned cold and he pulled you tighter against him, an action not going unnoticed by Yuta.
“I’m having a conversation. And you’re not her boyfriend.” Mark glared at him, not appreciating the tone.
“Okay?”
You cut in between their little stare down, moving to face Mark, “Hey, I already wished Jae a happy birthday and stuff, it’s getting kinda late. We should get going now if you’re ready to go.” 
You motioned towards the door in case he could understand you.
He nodded, not really paying attention, something that you were expecting. 
“Alright, let’s go say bye to Jae and then I’ll drive us home, okay?” You talked slowly, hoping that he would understand more easily.
You grabbed Mark’s hand, pulling him towards the patio, the last place you had seen Jaehyun.
“Oh.” You stopped and turned to face the boy staring at two of your hands. “Bye Yuta.”
His eyes whipped up to find yours, a small smile taking over his features. He lifted his hands and waved slightly, as if he wasn’t sure he was allowed to.
“What is wrong with him?” Mark muttered under his breath, face grimaced at the sight. 
You sighed, resuming your journey to Jaehyun. “He’s drunk.”
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You slammed the passenger door shut and slid into the driver’s seat, once more checking that all of Mark’s limbs were attached and in the car. 
“That was fun.” He laughed, staring at nothing in particular. 
You snorted at his reaction. “So I don’t owe you anything anymore?”
“I never said that.”
“Do you want me to stay over tonight?” You asked, taking a quick glance at him before regathering your attention on the road. 
“Yeah.”
You drove in silence for a while, and peeked over at him. He was so silent you were sure that he had fallen asleep. But his eyes were open, hooded, but definitely open. He was staring out the window, watching the buildings flash past him.
“Do you think Yuna wants to come?” 
You were startled by his sudden question.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea Mark.”
“I know. But I kind of miss her.” He sounded so upset, and you began to get angry at Yuna. 
“I know Mark. Things will get better though. She’s just being stubborn.”
He sighed, fogging up the window for a few seconds before it dissipated under the cold.
“Okay.”
You hesitated to continue. 
“Hey Mark?”
He didn’t respond,
Your eyes found his sleeping figure slumped in the corner of the seat. 
You let out a deep breath, one you didn’t realize you had been holding. 
“How do you do it? Deal with her knowing that she’ll probably never love you back?” You asked no one in particular, listening to the silence that followed your harsh question.
You spent the last few miles of the ride with your mind involuntarily wandering back to Yuta. Now that you thought about it he had been acting weird since the day he invited you to the party. 
It wasn’t that you missed the nagging or teasing that he constantly made you endure. But it made you uneasy, reminding you why he starting doing so in the first place.
You shook your head, bringing yourself back to the road as you pulled into Mark’s designated spot. The car rocked to a standstill.
“It’s because I love her that I can do it.”
You turned to face the seemingly asleep boy, mentally cursing yourself for letting him hear your thoughts.
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“Yuna, don’t you think you’re being a little too harsh on him?”
She had just spent the last twenty minutes purposely avoiding Mark, stating that it would absolutely ruin her day to see him.
“He called me a slut, are you really taking his side?” Her tone had turned fierce as you expected.
“He didn’t call you a slut. Besides if it’s something you’re ashamed of, then don’t do it.” You muttered the last bit, trying to soften the tone.
She whipped her head at you. “What? So now you think I’m a slut too?”
“No, it’s just if you’re so upset with the way that people think of you, then why do you keep giving them reason to think that way?”
It was harsh, but you had finally given up on stubborn Yuna. It was time to finally hammer it into her head.
She was at a loss for words when you looked back at her. “I shouldn’t have to care about what other people think of me.”
You bit your lip, frustrated with the way she was thinking.
“Then why are you so mad at Mark? If you don’t care what other people think of you, why are you so mad?”
“Because it’s Mark. Of course I care what he thinks.” 
You stared at her, mouth slightly open, confused with her statement. But it seemed like you weren’t the only one, her eyes widened, throwing her hand over her mouth.
“I mean, he shouldn’t have said that because he’s supposed to be someone I can count on to not think of me that way. I’m supposed to be able to trust that he knows me, and has my back no matter what, not that he’d stab me in the back like that.”
“He didn’t stab you in the back. And he does have your back, no matter what. You know he’s never said one bad thing about you during this time? He just keeps asking if you’re doing okay.”You paused, thinking about your next words, hesitating for a moment. 
”You know I think it’s kind of embarrassing how much you’re bad mouthing him and avoiding him when all he does as make sure that you’re doing fine.” You glanced at her as she turned away from you, trying to hide the fact that she was furrowing her eyebrows. 
“Don’t you think it’s been long enough? For both of you? Would it be that hard to forgive him?” You raised your eyebrows in hopes that you would no longer be the split messenger between the two.
There was a deep sigh from her side. 
“I’ll talk to him later, just the two of us. I guess I owe him that much.” You smiled at her flushed face.
She grinned back, wrapping her arm in yours, “Now tell me about the party last weekend.”
You jolted your head to the side, wide eyed. “H-how did you...?”
“Don’t worry, I’m not mad. It’s not like I was invited. Besides it would’ve been weird right, for me to show up.” You smiled at her, thankful that she wasn’t upset.
“To be honest, it was fun. I missed hanging out with them.” She elbowed you in the side.
“Any one in particular you like hanging out with?” Wiggling her eyebrows, she sent a suggestive look your way.
You blushed, understanding her intentions. “No. They’re all fun.”
“Right. Did Yuta bother you much? I hope Mark didn’t leave you alone to be bugged by him.” She scrunched her nose, evidence that she was still annoyed by him.
“No. He didn’t bother me, he was pretty drunk.” You frowned, “He actually said something though that bugged me.”
“What?”
“I don’t know, he just kept talking about me having a boyfriend.” You paused, eyes shaking at what you were about to say. “He asked if he could be my boyfriend.” 
Yuna made her scandalized face, teasing you as you cut in, attempting to save face for both yourself and Yuta.
“But he was really drunk, who knows if he even knew what he was saying.” You hurried out,  nibbling at your bottom lip.
“Didn’t you say he had been acting weird around you lately? Like not teasing you weird, but like he was actually kind of nice to you?” You nodded thoughtfully.
“Yeah, he was actually the person who invited me to Jae’s party.” 
“Really?” She asked, squinting in confusion. “That’s strange, I thought he would’ve been the last person to invite you.”
“Right?” You thought to yourself for a moment, “He wouldn’t do something would he?”
“No, I think he’s just gotten bored. Maybe he’s finally tired of teasing you.” You laughed at the thought.
“Sure, I’d die of happiness if that were true.” But there was a small part of you that you chose to ignore, that felt a little sad at the thought.
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“Do you want one?” You raised your eyebrow at the scene in front of you.
“I didn’t poison it, if that’s what you’re thinking.” Yuta gave you a small smile. “Taeil baked them, they’re to die for.”
You frowned at the muffin he was showing you, but eventually took it.
He nodded his head once, indicating for you to try it.
As you bit into the soft texture of the muffin your eyes widened. 
“I know. I’m not usually one for muffins, but I’ll never pass on one from Master Moon.”
You giggled at the title.
“No really, that’s what he calls him self, but I’m not one to argue.” A genuine smile bloomed over his face, the first time you had seen it.
Unknowingly you returned the smile, something about it making you feel better already.
He rubbed the back of his neck, an embarrassed smile, replacing the previous, “I’m sorry we got off on a bad foot.” He let out a big sigh, “I kind of let things get out of hand.”
You felt yourself closing off again, but realized that his words were genuine.
“I’m not gonna lie, the stuff you said and things you did hurt me. This class was hell because of you, I even avoided seeing Jaehyun because of you.”
You let out a sigh, and a heavy silence followed. You glanced at the worried expression on Yuta’s face, and you recognized the guilt.
There had been some point where your anger towards Yuta had faded. Perhaps it was the fact that he stopped bothering you, perhaps it was his confession, or perhaps it was the way that he started to look at you. You believed that there was something more to Yuta, and you wanted to get to know that side.
“But if you continue to bring me amazing snacks I’ll have no choice but to forgive you.” You laughed nervously, tearing anxiously at the empty wrapper.
“Then I’ll just have to keep bugging Master Moon.” He grinned, a reflection of yourself.
You felt your face heat up, blushing at his blatant flirting.
“Um.... I know I was like really drunk the other night. I’m not going to pretend I don’t remember pieces, because I do. And I want you to know that even though I was drunk I really meant what I said.” He glanced at you from the side, not brave enough to confront you.
“What do you mean?” You tried not to think of the way that he basically confessed to you, and you chose to ignore it.
“Uh... Do you... not remember?” He scratched his head, ruffling his hair into a more messy look.
“I’m not sure, you were saying a lot of things.” Biting your lip, you focused on the wrapper in your hand.
“Oh... I- uh...I like you.” You whipped your head to face Yuta, who was now avoiding eye contact.
“What?” It came out as a whisper, barely audible to him. You heart began beating faster, and you were worried that he would be able to hear it because it was so loud.
“I like you Y/N. Look, I know I have a pretty shitty way of showing it, but I promise that I’ll make up for it.”
You hated to leave him hanging, but you had no words. You wanted to give him some sort of reassurance, but the words were stuck in your throat.
“Will you go out with me? Or at least one date to show you I’m not a total asshole.” He wasn’t great at hiding the fact that he was nervous, and you giggled at the sight.
“Yeah. I guess one date couldn’t hurt right?” You smiled at him, boldly reaching for his hand.
He wrapped his hand around yours, pulling you close to his chest. you could hear the beating of his heart through his shirt, making you smile at the thought that you were the cause of this.
“I swear I’ll make it up to you. I’m done making stupid decisions.”
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jaehyunsparadise · 5 years
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💌🍑𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘𝚖 𝚏𝚕𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚢 𝚢𝚞𝚝𝚊 𝚝𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚜💌🍑
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jaehyunsparadise · 5 years
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𝚛𝚎𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚍💌🌸🍑 : hinting to nct’s yuta that you want a baby
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