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#nagitos inner monologue go brr
asknagito-official · 3 years
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Miyuki sat with her feet in the water, the pool was cool but not cold which felt good. She liked the way it felt as she moved her feet against the water, it was refreshing.
She looked back over at Nagito and he too looked gorgeous in this light, his skin was so pale but his cheeks dusted red in this light made him look so handsome. She felt that she was the lucky one when it came to looking at him, she scooted closer to him as he spoke.
"I don't want you to be sorry at all, I want to spend time with you. You're very interesting and I like getting to know you, I still don't think I understand you but... If I'm honest, I don't know if I need to." She hummed, the sound of the water against the pool sides filled the air for a moment as she sighed.
"You're amazing, Nagito. I want you to feel amazing, I want you to feel good. But this isn't about what I want all the time." She laughed a little, realising she'd been rambling. She looked back at him with a smile. "I'm glad I met you, and I'm really looking forward to getting to know you better." She whispered to him, he looked so pretty she could hardly stand it.
"So... What made you want to share a room again? Not that I mind one little bit." She teased.
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"I... Well, I really enjoyed it last time even if I left in the middle of the night..." He blushed, looking off to the side. Vulnerability was strange.
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"Which I'll try not to do this time, I just don't want to bother you if I wake up with a nightmare again." He quickly added, a bit embarrassed as he remembered that and how he'd kept himself up all night because of it.
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"Anyways, after yet another set of murders and executions, I guess you could say I'm just feeling a bit more clingy than usual... The deaths, they don't bother me too much but if I'm honest, it still is a little scary to watch people die so easily and I think I just need someone to be close to after all that."
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"Plus it's been a while since we did that, so it'd be nice to do it again."
He was still too nervous to admit how much he hoped she kissed him, but if he was correct about the stage of their relationship, which he honestly wasn't sure if he was since he wasn't the greatest with social norms, but if he was, then it was probably the right time to start doing things like that. Miyuki had said she wanted to kiss when he stopped being sick, so it was probably okay to hope for that, right?
Maybe he felt like this because he always felt like the next murder would end up being him and he just needed to be close with someone who he could trust and feel safe with for once. He didn't exactly mind dying to be a stepping stone for hope, but it made him a bit more hesitant to die now that he had someone important in his life.
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He'd never had anything like that to live for, so he never minded dying. Sometimes he even wanted to. But now that there was a person to live for... It was more scary.
He'd still do it, he'd still sacrifice his life at any time, but he knew if he did his last thought would definitely be on the person he cared about most.
Wait. Nagito thought, feeling a slight panic in his chest. This... Is this what people say love is? That was... Dangerous. If he cared this much about someone, he felt like bad things would happen to his life. They always did.
He was suddenly aware that he'd been silent for way too long. Miyuki was looking at him, a little concerned. Had she been talking to him?
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"Oh... Sorry, just thinking." He felt a rush of embarrassment, smiling apologetically. "I guess seeing so many people die really gets me in my head."
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"Hey, let's go back to the cabin now, okay? It's getting cold." He changed the subject quickly. He tried to be honest as much as he could with her, but to say all those thoughts out loud would be too much for him.
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