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#my teacher helped a lot but i’m really happy with it!
bonewhiteglory · 1 month
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I started volunteering in my friend’s kindergarten last month and like… I love these kids so much it’s unreal. They’re so sweet and weird! One of the kids drew me this killer Mario art and I’m gonna frame it and hang it on my wall.
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callilouv · 11 months
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drawing is kinda nice actually<3
#ʕ •ᴥ•ʔ idle chit chat#still hav a lot to learn but tbh i’m content w my current skills hehe#IDK i’m at that point where i just genuinely enjoy the process#sobs my drawings used to take like . 10 hours minimum back then but now i can complete a drawing in 2-3 hours :(<3 if i hyper focus on it ww#i want 2 branch out more and draw something more than just characters looking pretty :3#since i’ve basically mastered how 2 draw the human body now i think it’s time 2 suck it up and explore more ideas#art is just so nice tbh . overtime i’ve learned to just enjoy the process and i think it really helped me a lot#but tbh i’ve gone like 4 months without drawing bc i was so burnt out after basically . forcing myself 2 improve faster and faster#abt something that will rlly only improve over the years#i don’t want to go back there again and relearn the stuff i learned LMAO🗿#ever since i just told myself to take it easy#being an artist is hard but sometimes . sometimes i enjoy it .a lot<3#IDK ever since i was a kid i’ve always just been an art kid#i’d draw in class and my teacher would pin my drawings on our board thing where u can pin pages wwww#and everybody would just go ‘oh name? yeah she’s the art kid’#apparently i inspired one of my classmates to start drawing and aaaa my heart feels so happy when they go to me to learn fhdjnfdi#yeah :3 art is good <3#SORRY ABT THIS RAMBLE HELP IDK WAHTS GOING OM WITHH ME IM USUALLY CRYING ABT ART BUT TODAY IS DIFFERENT❕❕
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sooniebby · 7 months
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I’m back…had a random thought when listening to men moaning and I just had to write it for y’all.. you know the drill, bottom male reader, reader is mentioned to have a cock
Smut fic—in which reader has the terrible experience of being able to read minds. It was fun at first when you first found out at age ten.. but then it just got bad because you couldn’t control it
Hearing your mom’s thoughts about your dad was traumatizing to say the least. As you grew older, you basically learned to tune people out by filling your head with your own thoughts. It usually works.
And it was your usual day in your philosophy class at the university you dreamed of going to.. and it was the usual in that you sat next to this random girl who slept the entire time. Which was good, you didn’t have to worry about her thoughts.
But much to your surprise, someone sat next to you. It was pretty shocking. This guy was “popular” in the sense he was handsome and everyone wanted to be near him.
He usually only sat next to his friends but today he was next to you..? Odd—but you didn’t care that much. You now had to focus on making sure his thoughts didn’t distract you from your professor..
But you did want to take a little peak—just to see what a guy like him would be thinking. At most, you expected him to be focused on taking notes
This guy… is he an actor, you thought to yourself. He looked to be paying attention but the only thing on his mind was sex.. with you.
And not just a fleeting glimpse of sex. it was.. wow, pretty graphic.
He was fantasizing about fucking you in an empty classroom. The classroom you two were in right now. You sprawled on the teacher’s desk, back arched with your legs being pushed towards you.
He was fucking you. Very harsh. He had a very vivid dream of how you’d look fucked out on the table—your moans filling the empty classroom.
His fantasy was solely on you. How you cried, how you arched your back, how you whined his name.. suddenly, he was holding tightly on your neck, lightly squeezing it while his thrusts began to practically knock your breath away.
“You sound so cute.. but you can be louder, yeah?” His fantasy self said to you, reaching down and slapping your ass which earned a scream. Which embarrassingly enough caused you to flinch in real life.
Okay, that’s enough..! You thought to yourself, looking away with a blush. Holy shit. This random guy… was dreaming about having sex with you?! But you guys didn’t even speak.. why.. did he like you?
You couldn’t help but glance over at him, trying hard to not let his thoughts flood your mind again. He was certainly hot—which made sense why a lot girls kept fangirling about him.. Black hair slicked back with gel, a nice nose, plump lips girls were jealous of, a lean body, cat-like eyes..
why was he into you?
He could have anyone.. but he’s thinking about you?
By accident, a slip of his thoughts flooded you again. He wasn’t thinking about sex anymore, he was actually focused on his notes. With a sigh, you decided to believe you were just going crazy and took a sip from your water bottle.
‘His mouth is so small.. would it actually be able to fit around my cock?’
You coughed heavily as water slipped out of your mouth. Much to your shock, the perverted guy handed you some tissues to wipe your mouth. You muttered a thank you, cleaning your chin and mouth.
Jesus, this guy is going to be the death of you.
‘He’s so cute…I hope he likes guys…’
You sighed, happy that he was finally thinking about you normally.
‘Ah.. what if it was my cum instead of water on his lips..? Oh, too much don’t wanna pop a boner in class.’
You could only cough once more in shock and cover your ears. Oh, you needed him away from you fast. But it seemed like he was going to actually start pursuing you soon..
But what you really wondered is if you could survive hearing his thoughts on a daily basis.. and by the embarrassing boner you were sporting right now
Yeah, you were going to be having boners in philosophy often.
‘Does he even like giving blowjobs..? Hope so.. it’d be hot cumming in his mouth..having it overflow.. oops, boner!’
This was going to be a long day…
My first ever one where the guy actually thinks and technically talks… :0! This was fun if you guys want, I’ll definitely expand on it. For now, Imma continue the roommate for tmmr <3
Yoga instructor is coming soon, can’t wait to have an actual fic for him, it’ll be in 2nd person!
Tag list: @nakedtoasterr @chill-guy-but-cooler @mello-life69 @kiiyoooo @the-ultimate-librarian @iwishtobeacrow (ask to added to my tag list to be tagged in all of my works :3)
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dazed-hee · 2 months
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୨ৎ — With Love, Sunghoon
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pairing: non-idol!sunghoon x fem-reader
synopsis: Almost is sometimes never enough, Sunghoon needed a tutor and Y/N needed the extra credit. What happens when two failed lovers meet again after years of running away and misunderstandings?
w/c: 23.3K :o
tags: teacher x teacher, friends to lovers TO EXES to enemies to lovers… HAHAH. first love, baby baby (?) angst, sunghoon kinda a dick, then he turns into a loser LOL, lots of gussy gussy fluff at the end, niki and jungwon cameo as hoon’s gremlins. And yes hoon blonde obsession.
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a/n: oh em gee, its been MONTHS (since last may actually🤓). been so busy with irl stuff and other responsibilities I've neglected dazed-hee </3. BUT pls expect more content to come out soon because I am stressed and writing helps me destress HAHAHA. ending is not how I would like but I honestly did not want to scrap this fic and start a new ): this is little fic was supposed to be a present for my hoon girlie @hoonvrs AND IT STILL IS! i hope everyone enjoys and pls lml what you think! ALSO With Love Series going on mini break bc I have so so many ideas I want to write about I can't be limited to this series ASDAKJSD
With Love Series
likes & reblogs are encouraged thank you!!
“So class I’m happy to say you don’t have any homework this weekend.” You sighed, placing all the files you went through from the past hour on the side as the class cheered lightly,  some even clapping at the thought of a free weekend mixed with fun and more studying.. 
“But—” you interjected, biting back a small smile as some of them instantly stopped cheering; some even holding in groans while you pointed at the calendar on the wall. 
“Don’t be surprised if you walk into class Monday with a quiz on your desk about cell biology and functions.” You hastily announced, a slight grin on your face finally hearing the groans and complaints travel through the room, quickly turning around you began cleaning the whiteboard while bidding goodbye to your students. 
“Hey be happy it wasn’t a real pop quiz— and I told you what unit it’s going to be about!” You reasoned out loud in the hall, smiling at some of the girls in your class who argued it was guys in the back doing most of the complaining. Compared to the other teachers you felt like you were quite lenient with the students, making class and learning as interactive and fun as possible. Being one of the youngest teachers you made it your job to sympathize with the students since you were in their position not that long ago. 
“Ah wait–” You called out, grabbing onto two sneaky individuals hiding behind the girls on the way out. 
“I need you two to stay back for an hour of tutoring starting next week. If you don’t you won’t have a passing grade for eligibility.” You warned. 
“Ms.Kim please our coach moved practice to after school hours and he’s been really strict about being there.” the boy plead, his eyes glistening brightly looking down at you. 
“Well Jungwon maybe we shouldn’t have failed the last unit exam and for you Niki— start doing corrections you’ll earn half your points back.” You nodded toward the other who was sulking softly. You knew the pressures and tight schedules student-athletes went through and you honestly felt bad, the two weren’t even doing terribly you just wanted to make sure they had leisure with their grades when it came to eligibility check. 
“What about I have a talk with your Coach and have him push back practice by an hour or something, I’m only doing this for the two of you; trust me I know what it feels like.” You sighed patting their shoulders as they nodded to your offer. Heading to the faculty room you were greeted by other teachers finishing up for the day, you weren’t sure who this new coach was but practice usually took place early mornings. Partly so it doesn’t run into afterschool activities and studying sessions but also because the weather was more favorable most of the time. 
“Ms.Kim, how are you today?” Your boss greeted you by the printer, greeting her back with a smile you saw the way some of the female coworkers were actively glancing out the window, chatting amongst each other with shy grins painting their lips. 
“I’m doing good Mrs.Go, just printing out a few practice sheets for tutoring starting soon.” 
The older lady nodded at you with a warm smile, when you first got the job a little over two years ago Ms.Go stepped up as the new principal from her vice position. You’ve always felt welcomed because of her and she always had nothing but good and encouraging things to say to and about you.
“I’m glad you’ve found your pacing with the students, I get nothing but compliments from them and their parents— keep up the good work.” she rubbed your shoulder softly bidding you goodbye. Shaking out a small sigh you stood tapping the table as the beeping of the machine printed what felt like endless amounts of pages.
“Oh my god he’s so good-looking.” 
“Did you see when he was running with the students earlier?”
“I heard he’s the new literature teacher who’s also coaching the basketball team.” 
Gathering your things you acknowledged your coworker's excited expressions; curiosity overtaking as you made your way to the window to see what all the fuss was about, all you could see were the student-athletes running back inside towards the gym. A flash of blonde catches your eye before forcing yourself to peel away knowing there were lots to do and students to expect soon.
Seeing a few students greet you on the way back to class had your shoulders high in pride at the familiar faces of kids you’ve tutored before. Many of them respected you as a teacher but also saw you as a friend— well most. 
“Ms.Kim!” turning at the group of boys your brow raised as a few of them offered to help carry the stack of papers you were gripping back to class, their shoulders bumping against each other to gain your attention which only prompted a short scoff under your breath. Being one of the younger teachers you also noticed the uncanny amount of attention you received from students, girls asking for advice about dating and what to look forward to in college while the boys were being— well boys.
“Coach is looking for you guys, something about wanting to run another lap.” cutting between them you were glad Jungwon showed up when he did, brows furrowed slightly at some of them murmuring lowly to each other. After everyone left the boy greeted you with a dimple, one you saw frequently in class from what you recalled.
“I talked to Coach and I don’t think he’s willing to push back practice.” You heard him sigh, placing the stack of paper he insisted to carry on your desk as you pushed your fingers into the back of your dress pants.
“Well I would love to talk to your Coach, he knows if you and Niki don’t qualify for eligibility you won’t be able to play till the next check, right?” Your voice confused with shock seeing the boy nod with a conflicted expression on his face. 
“Where’s Niki?” You asked softly sitting at your desk checking the time on your wristwatch knowing students were going to show up anytime soon. 
“He’s distracting Coach Park while I’m here.” 
“Well tell Coach Park, when he’s done with practice to come to my class.” You ordered him, filing some notes in the file cabinet before standing up heading to the lab stations. With a nod Jungwon left swiftly, his sneakers squeaking against the tile floor as you leaned against the table, appreciating the evening sun seeping through the tall windows lining the class walls with your eyes closed. 
A knock on your door pulled you from your thoughts realizing some of your students came for their quick tutoring session. “Alright, should we get started?” You greeted them, a feeling of sentiment washed over you. 
It was bittersweet in a way. 
“Ms.Kim we’re almost done with the worksheet!” 
“Okay once you’re done just leave it on my desk and you three are free to leave.” You nodded, going back to the rows of beakers and test tubes you were prepping for the planned lab on Monday. You’ve always loved science, being a biochemist double major in college, you’re practically a pro at handling bunsen burners and microscopes. You weren’t sure when you decided to be a teacher and to be completely fair, you’ve never thought to be one when asked about your future endeavors as a kid.
But maybe it was from the multiple classmates you’ve tutored as a side job and extra credit, you found you had a talent for working with others and teaching them what you’ve mastered best. The satisfaction of seeing others click with the information and concepts you present always made you proud, proud that they could grasp complex ideas, and proud that you were an influence and part of the reason why. Nostalgia overtook your thoughts recalling back about your college days, from friends to strangers and those in between. 
Brushing your fingers against the clear tubes absentmindedly, a bitter smile took your lips— almosts were never enough sometimes. It was nearing five in the evening and you were finishing the final touches to each station carefully, making sure all the lab equipment was properly placed for the students, by now the ones who came have left and you were here alone in your thoughts.
“I heard you wanted to speak with me about something?” You heard someone call from the door, slightly muffled as you were quickly packing up the mess you made from preparations into the table cabinets below. 
“Yeah actually, it’s about your afternoon practices—” You replied slightly vexed, none of the other coaches have changed their practice hours so you weren’t sure why the basketball team in particular did. 
“I won’t be able to change or push back practice since that’s the only time that works for us.” huffing out a sigh you quickly set the extra box of test tubes back into their protective cases in the lower cabinets. 
“Okay well, you know if your athletes don’t qualify for eligibility they won’t be able to play correct?” confused as to why you weren’t getting a response you stood up with a huff. Your eyes widened while your words jumbled to get out, realizing who the new coach was and who you were talking to. 
It’s been a while, years to be exact since you last had eyes on him. He was blonde now, and it fit him well; just as tall as you remember taking in the way he was leaning against the door frame with his hands shoved in track pants. His slightly raised shoulders and wide eyes told you he was just as surprised to see you, a stoic expression overtaking his shocked one when he straightened his posture. 
He was exactly the same as he was before, but so different. 
“Sunghoon?” his name became foreign to you over time, like a bitter fruit you bit into and wished to forget. A wave of emotions swirled across your face you were sure of it. His eyes flickered around the classroom and a small sigh could be heard through the thick tension that had formed between you two. 
“Looks like you’re doing well,” he mumbled jingling the keys in his pockets as he watched your frown deepen further. 
“I’m not changing practice times Y/N, don’t ask me again.” his voice was firm and cold, you saw the way his eyes flickered over you once more before turning to leave.
After your brief conversation with Sunghoon, he left you standing there questioning if what just happened— really happened. With both of your hands gripping the table behind you, the sound of him making his way through the hall confirmed that it was indeed Sunghoon.
Park Sunghoon whom you fell in love with in college, Park Sunghoon who also broke your heart as well. It was him. He was the new coach that is already causing trouble the same way he did back then in your mundane life.
“Alright and the enzymes only react during the active site, get it?” Tapping your pen against the desk you sighed out of relief seeing your classmate nod enthusiastically finally understanding the unit concepts from the past lectures. It was warm, with the University library lined with large windows you wouldn’t be able to get a good nap here without the bright sun bearing down on your back, that’s why people nap in the reserved study rooms instead.
“So if the enzymes are heated or enter a different pH environment what happens then?” You asked carefully— there was no hope for the kid but for extra credit, your professor offered you to tutor students. You could only hope a higher being blessed you with the ability to input knowledge into these empty vessels because fuck; how were people this bad at studying? 
“They become unnaturalized?” She answered unconfidently, eyes lighting up seeing how your head tilted giving her a slight sound of approval. It was wrong but at least it was close.
“Close, denatured,” closing the workbook you nodded slightly acknowledging this was a lot better than when you first began tutoring her. “Keep studying like this and you’ll be caught up before the final in no time.” You smiled softly as she quickly packed her things. 
Oh, the things you did for extra credit, from extra lab hours to volunteer research assignments you needed every single point you could gain to balance out the fact you had no extracurricular and social hours to back up your pretty GPA. 
“Thank you Y/N it feels so good to finally understand what’s going on in class.” she gratefully thanked you, gripping the extra workbooks you recommended to her enthusiastically. With a smile, you bid her goodbye before peering back down at your laptop to see what you had next— a meeting with your professor. 
“I must say the classmates you are tutoring have been improving quite a bit, slowly but surely.” Your professor said looking at his notes with a satisfied nod. It was true, it started with your friend Naeun who was failing before despite passing with flying colors now. You now tutored kids who weren’t even from your own lecture, some in different years even.
 “If there are any other students you need me to tutor I’ll be more than happy to take them during my free time.” You added quickly, rubbing your palms against your jeans to mask the shake in your leg from his peripheral. 
Before he could answer, a knock on the door caused you to turn as a rather tall boy came in with a guitar case in one hand and a packet of papers in the other. With his hair messily put together he looked like every other boy in your class, but the moment his eyes met yours you quickly shifted back into your seat; trying your best to avoid the heat running through your face. 
“Professor Lee I’m here to talk about my exam..” he announced demeaningly. You could only watch as the older male stood up, pulling the boy to sit beside you in the empty seat while you shifted looking at the grade on his recent exam. 
Yikes.
“Sunghoon this is Y/N she’s in your lecture and also one of my tutors.” you reluctantly nodded toward him in acknowledgment as he did the same. “She’s one of my best students and I’m asking her to tutor you in hopes it’ll bring your grade up so you can pass the class.” With wide eyes, you glanced at Sunghoon, a hand rubbing the nape of his neck assuming he was weighing out the options he didn’t really have. 
“And you know you need to pass the class to graduate Sunghoon, I advise you to do your best with Y/N or you’ll run into big trouble once finals come.” He sighed, gathering his things while glancing at the clock on the wall. While bidding the two of you goodbye, you faintly heard him whisper to the boy a small ‘be nice to her’ before the door closed shut. Picking up your bag you pulled your phone out looking at your rather busy calendar for an open spot in your schedule. 
“I’m free every Tuesday Wednesday and Friday in the late afternoon, just pick two days and let me know before next week. Or you could tell Professor Lee and he’ll relay the info to me.” you could only give him a shy smile despite him sitting there blinking at you. With an awkward nod, you gave him one last forced grin before making your way toward the door.
“Wait!” His sudden exclamation startled you slightly, a quizzical stare greeting him while your fingers were already grazing the cold door handle.
“Where are you going right now?” He briefly asked, adjusting the grip on his guitar case while stuffing his exam back into his backpack. 
“The library.”
“I’ll come with.” 
Your solo studying session today suddenly turned into a plus one, watching as your new friend pull his things from his bag, you failed to hold the slight snicker earning his curiosity. Shrugging at his raised brow, you opened your laptop pulling out a practice workbook with a smile.
“Could’ve fooled me with that study setup if you never told me you were failing Biology.” You nodded at his set of pencils and eraser neatly placed in front of him, his frown turning into a grin knowing you were right, unfortunately. 
“Listen I’m good at everything but science, it might be hard to imagine but I’m a TA for my English professor.” he boasted proudly, sitting up in his seat as you smiled humming in acknowledgment. 
“Oh and to answer your question from earlier, I’m able to do Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I just finished an important project so I should be available a lot more often now.” He politely added, taking in your gaze as you nodded slowly before turning back to your workbook. 
After an hour of studying you noticed Sunghoon was actually quite diligent, not getting distracted by his phone nor did he daze into space even you’d catch yourself doing at times. If this was your conclusion then you weren’t sure where his problem was that had him failing— terribly. 
“That’s wrong.” You softly stopped him, pointing at the question he’s been working on for the past couple of minutes after seeing the frustrated expression overtake his face promptly. 
“I’m not good with genetics, I get the whole structure and basic….stuff, but once it gets to this I get lost.” He admitted running his fingers through his hair. Peeling your gaze away from the mole beside his jaw you coughed before opening up your notes.
“From what I see you're making it way more difficult than it should be—” You started, pulling your chair beside his before sliding your tablet across the table with a holistic breakdown of the concepts you took notes on for the genetics unit. After a few minutes of explaining and correcting his question, you allowed him to scroll through your notes a little longer, grinning at the fascinated look in his eye as he complimented the way your notes looked. 
“I can send you the notes later if you like them that much.” You chuckled, scooting your chair back after feeling his elbow graze your own, a little too close you figured. Hearing no response your eyes naturally found his again realizing he was looking between you and the space now in between. Once he realized you were waiting for a response, he pushed your tablet toward you quickly, his pen tapping against the table softly with a nod.
“Please if you don’t mind, I don’t know how you have time to do them like that they’re really nice.” He complimented, checking his phone before handing it to you with the contacts app opened. “Well I don’t do much of anything else so I have a lot of time to spare.” You snickered. 
“Oh come on, nothing? Like nothing seriously?” He asked you again, holding back a wide grin noting your name displayed on the screen along with your number. “Why do I look like I do a lot of stuff?” You questioned, his nod surprising you somewhat. 
“Yeah I mean, our classmates always say how fun and nice you are to be around so I just assumed,” he explained truthfully, from what he’s heard, a lot of your classmates had nothing but good things to say to you. 
“I only go out with a few of my close friends from time to time but seeing that you pretty much—”  glancing at his duffle bag you assumed was for whatever club he was a part of and his guitar case beside it; you could tell he was a busy man. “ —you literally do everything, it could look like not much for you.” You smiled genuinely. 
“Well trust me when I say I rather have a few things to focus on over this,” he emphasized, nodding toward all his things, earning a wholehearted laugh from you quickly disagreeing. 
“Yeah? I really wish I could put myself out there like that, I’m tutoring to make up for the fact I don’t do anything else but study.” You shook your head, playing with the pen between your fingers with your gaze set on the sunlighy shining on the table.
“Well I wish I didn’t do all of–”
“Don’t lie.” You cut him off, turning towards him quickly causing the both of you to laugh softly, your lips turned into a grin as you forcefully peeled your gaze away from his dimple that caught your eye. Sunghoon could only admire you from the side, smugly grinning at how you’d get so shy from meeting his gaze while your fingers busied themselves playing with the pages from your notebook. 
He understood why all the guys on the team wanted you as their tutor, what was better than a pretty girl spending her evening with you in the library or cafe? Your cute flustered expression when he smiled at you or when he caught you smiling back, it all made sense to him. Sunghoon made a mental note to inform the others you weren’t looking for any more tutees, and he only hoped they will believe him.
When he was called into the professor's office he really thought it was the end for him, with graduation around the corner and a science class holding him back from sweet victory; nervousness was an understatement. Shitting his pants would’ve been a better way to describe the feeling pooling in his gut when he saw a big red 43 plastered on the recent unit exam. But when he saw your small confused face peering up at him he knew he lucked out this time. 
You were known to take kids who look like they don’t have a single thought behind their eyes and tutor them into high B passing students. He was sure anyone else tutoring him would’ve helped with an extra brain processing his mistakes, but he was glad it was you. 
Third week of tutoring and you noted Sunghoon worked hard— and worked harder when he knew there was a reward for his accomplishments. A coffee stop before class or a meal before practice, you kept your promise and rewarded him for the commitment you knew he put in. What started as a reward for his improving quiz grades turned into what you felt was a normalized occurrence.
‘Wanna grab a meal from the cafeteria? I’ll drop you off after.’
‘Let’s meet before class for a bit, I want to see you.’
‘Are you free later today? We should go watch that new movie you were talking about.’
He explained it was just the athlete in him addicted to the dopamine he got when he succeeded, specifically doing good in class; but you argued it was just a way for him to trick you to agree into doing things he wanted. Hell he didn’t even know how dopamine worked up until last week’s study session. 
“Sunghoon you can literally ask for anything else, I’ll even buy you dinner again just not this.” You sighed, holding up the singular ticket he presented you as his wish for earning a 90 on his exam; the highest he’s received yet. 
“Y/N you said I can ask for whatever I wanted.” he pointed out, tapping the back of your seat with his fingers watching you groan at the thought of attending this weekend. 
“This is seriously what you want?” watching his court nod your lips pressed in a tight line before sighing in defeat. A promise is a promise, and you were one to keep promises. 
“Fine just please study this well for the next exam coming up.” You didn’t earn a response, but the cheeky dimple and upturned brows told you that if studying well meant pulling you to do things like attending his game to support him— Sunghoon promised to turn into Einstien. He’ll be reborn as Issac Newton himself if that’s what it took. 
“Oh and—” turning back to him your eyes widened slightly feeling his fingers graze against your back, a simple action you still haven’t grown used to lately. “Sunghoon, no.” you refused shaking your head wholeheartedly, seeing him pull out a jersey from his duffle bag with a smirk on his face as he laughed to himself.
“You didn’t even let me explain.” He reasoned, eyes twinkling watching you continue to disagree, mumbling about how ridiculous this was since you already agreed to even go in the first place. 
“Y/N how weird would it be to show up and not show off who you’re supporting?” He hummed, pushing his jersey from last year over to your side. “Hoon I think people are gonna think it’s weird regardless.” You whispered, knowing the type of people he was around would already view it odd you came in the first place. Sunghoon was someone you thought you’d only admire from afar, his likable personality and seemingly good looks made a memorable first impression not only on you but apparently to every living— breathing eligible girl on campus.
The looks and whispers anyone with a working brain would dread were to be expected if you walked into that stadium with his jersey, you were already getting looks from simply walking with him to class. 
Sunghoon was just someone you weren’t supposed to mingle with, as crazy as it sounded; opposites weren’t supposed to attract. There were plenty of girls in his social circle you knew were interested in him— it just felt wrong, scary even that you and Sunghoon were this close. 
“Hey…don’t think like that,” He reassured you, brushing a few strands of hair away while you stared at him, admiring the pinches of electricity shifting across your cheek when his fingertips grazed against your skin. In the many weeks you and Sunghoon have hung out, you realized he was a lot different from what you assumed. 
He was sensitive; you concluded that when he received his first quiz two weeks after your first session. His grade wasn’t— what the two of you were aiming for, and it was evident in his expression how disappointed he was in himself. After your constant reassurance that learning was about process and progress; not instant results, you grew to appreciate his soft grin and high shoulders that were filled with confidence and motivation. 
But he was also very attentive, even on days you didn’t feel your best Sunghoon was always understanding without having to say anything. And you were grateful, you tend to hold back and push through with plans even when you didn’t feel in the best shape, especially for your tutees. Sunghoon didn’t jest around much on days he saw you weren’t responding how you usually did, and he still managed to find time to ask if you were okay. Cheering you up in ways that had your cheeks flushing and heart racing. 
It was like skinship came naturally for the two of you, what started off as friendly nudges and taps on the arm shifted to his hand casually drawing lines on your back, your fingers tracing the veins on his arm or your shoulders casually touching while sitting beside one another. Things just felt comfortable with him, you realized that the one day the two of you were at his apartment, the library was starting to become a distraction but looking back— you weren’t sure if his place was much better.
While working on genomes and thermodynamics the two of you often shared snacks with one another, however when your eyes caught his pink lips around your bottle of coke you realized then and there that you and Sunghoon were more than tutor and tutee, more than friends. He made that known when you felt the same pink lips press a kiss on your temples after bidding you goodbye, making sure you made it inside your condo before he left, a small pep in his step noted while catching one last glimpse at him.
“Just think about it, hm?” he nodded toward you, bottom lip pulled between his teeth watching you roll your eyes before stuffing the jersey in your bag, ushering him to continue studying much to his resistance. 
“So are you gonna wear his jersey?” your friend sang with a smirk ghosting her lips, watching you hastily fix your hair in the mirror that she quickly helped you with not that long ago, fixing the top you picked to avoid that exact question purposely. It was the day of his game and you were already running slightly (really) behind schedule from a last-minute tutoring session you were asked to do despite making sure to state this weekend— you were unavailable. 
The game started a couple of minutes ago and it would take almost thirty minutes for you to get to the arena.
“Do I look good?” You asked her nervously, palms clammy against your jeans realizing what you got yourself into. 
“You look cute babe, Sunghoon is gonna miss every three-pointer with you in the crowd.” She joked, yelping in response when a dry shampoo bottle was thrown her way. “Naeun I’m serious, people are already gonna look at me weird for being there— the least you can do is make sure nothing is stuck between my teeth.” You whined, checking yourself in the mirror again out of pure paranoia.
“Y/N the only reason why they’ll be looking at you is because the Y/N is there for Park Sunghoon, so go! You’re late already.”
“Your seat is in row 4, enjoy! Go Cougs!” Awkwardly grabbing the ticket you were greeted by rows and rows of students cheering for the ongoing game, it was almost halftime and the team was a little under fifteen points. Excusing yourself through the crowd— you realized where exactly Sunghoon’s extra ticket landed you. 
Maneuvering through, you did your best to ignore the glances from some of the girls you recognized, they were people who frequently hung around the team; people whose crowd you weren’t a part of. Gratefully you weren’t seated beside any of them but figured this was the guest section for the team, you saw both students and family seated in the area. 
“Oh? Are you here for Sunghoon hyung?” A voice pulled you from your observation, glancing down you noted a younger boy looking up at you; dressed in your school colors with a sticker decorating his rather full cheek— a slushy in one hand and a pretzel in the other. He was cute, his wide eyes waiting for your answer as you smiled at how adorable he looked. 
“What made it obvious?” You asked him in a whisper, giggling slightly when his eyes crinkled in a smile pointing back at you. 
“Y/N!” Sunghoon’s sudden voice made you snap your gaze to the court, your eyes meeting his almost instantly. Breathing was human nature, a biological process of the body responding to your blood oxygen levels with an automatic retort that you’re born with instantly; yet somehow when you see Sunghoon every now and then, you forget how to breathe sometimes. 
The few strands of hair sticking against his temples distract you from his absolutely dazzling smile and shining eyes that grew in size making you smile shyly. Glancing down, you coughed awkwardly, feeling his jersey's smooth fabric against your fingers. Before heading out the door, the white jersey caught your eye and had you changing in the livingroom before leaving.
You were here for Sunghoon and you wanted him to feel like you were too, and by the deep dimple showcasing on his face, you knew you made the right decision. 
Raising your brow— you quirked your head towards the scoreboard, you didn’t need to say anything because Sunghoon knew exactly what you meant from your expression alone. 
‘You invited me to your game just to lose?’ snickering at the way drops of sweat shook from the tips of his hair, you scoffed watching his shoulders raise proudly when a few of his teammates noted your presence in the crowd. You were never one to be interested in sports, but after another quarter into the game; you were one of the many that were standing in your seat, watching the tick of the clock count down and the score narrow with each pass on the court. 
“Sunghoon..” You whispered, fingers clutching in anxiety noting the clock hitting the twenty-second mark, he needed to shoot a three-pointer for the team to finally take the lead and ultimately win the game. With his eyes darting across the court Sunghoon has never felt this much pressure in his whole entire life. The game was whatever, he had plenty more games to play and win, but the past few months have been hell for him. 
With graduation around the corner, he didn’t really have any more time to ‘play’ on the court, plans after graduation? No clue. Did he have enough credits to actually graduate? Another problem at a later time. Was the girl he’s been dying to ask out finally warming up to him? Well... 
Meeting you has been one of the best if not the best thing that has happened to him in a while, not only were you practically carrying him to the graduation finish line, you seemed to make even the unexpected— exciting, comforting even. Things just got more bearable for him since you’ve been around.
Even now with the whole fate of the game twirling between his fingers, he couldn’t help but smile knowing you were there in the crowd, there for him. The moment he saw you sitting in his jersey he knew these feelings weren’t just mere lingering feelings that come and go, what a plot twist you were. 
“Sunghoon!” Your voice always caught his attention, even now in a crowd of roaring support or those who wished for the opposite, it was like he could only hear you. He wasn’t sure what to expect when he first walked into the professor's office that one day, but he wouldn’t wish for it any other way. 
“Sunghoon shoot the fucking ball?!” Blinking at your unexpected exclamation his body automatically did what he did best, react in stressful situations— muscle memory from what he recalled you teaching him. With the sound of the ball rolling around the rim, Sunghoon could only let out a sigh of relief when the roar from the student section doubled, quadrupled even after the basketball bounced on the court after scoring the final basket. 
They fucking won.
Jumping from excitement you finally understood why people attend games in person, the experience was so different, exhilarating. It was like regardless of who you were, everyone was there cheering for the same thing, even the girls who were looking at you earlier were cheering with you, bright smiles filled with pride and joy despite how indifferent they were to you earlier. 
In the midst of the crowd, you made your way through the bodies of people making sure to say goodbye to the small boy who accompanied you during the game. You were grateful he made sure to explain the rules of the court— it only made things easier to catch on. Gasping in shock, you felt someone grab your wrist stopping you hastily, Sunghoon. 
“Congrats on winning Hoon!” You cheered, smiling widely as other students and teammates congratulated him with pats on the back and chants of victory. “It’s hard not to when someone yelling at me from the stands, ‘Sunghoon shoot the fucking ball!’ ” he mocked jokingly, his fingers finding the slim of your wrist after you brought your hands up to push his shoulder. With your eyes glued on each other, you couldn’t help but grin softly as you felt his fingers melt down your wrist and between your own. Even with the chaos around the two of you, with him, things felt like the way they should be.
A comfort you never felt with anyone else in midst of what used to be unfamiliarity. You found yourself following Sunghoon to the celebration after, your laughs filling the night sky as the two of you sat on the rooftop of the science building; looking over a lit-up field filled with Uni students drinking in victory. The cool breeze tickled your lashes as you took in the smell of flowers and plants that lined the railings and wooden pergola that was decorated with string lights. You’ve been here a few times for a couple of labs and projects, legs dangling over the side admiring the sound of distant music from the field afar.
“You take all girls you talk to here after your games?” rolling the bottle of beer between your palms, you raised a brow when he hesitated, his dark ones furrowed as a contemplating hum left his lips. Gapping you slid over slightly, mumbling in disbelief ignoring his chuckle promising he was just joking. 
“You might be like…the third?” He continued, scratching the nape of his neck watching your eyes double in size before you nodded to his honest answer. “So, who was it?” You asked nonchalantly. 
“To be honest I don’t think Sieun counts if she was my lab partner last semester, right?” he sighed, attempting to grab your hand only to be pushed away quickly. Sunghoon loved this part of you, trying your best to hide the relief in your eyes by shaking off the hand he purposely placed on your shoulder. It was cute, your slightly upset expression and groans accompanied by puffed-out cheeks, he loved it all. 
“Sieun?” You repeated, recognizing her as a classmate from your past Chemistry course. You didn’t notice but his eyes were trailing across your shoulders that rose absentmindedly from realization, taking the chance to move closer his lips bit back a smile— glad that your eyes were finally looking up at him. 
Turning away with a cough, you were able to catch yourself before falling right into his little charm, if it wasn’t Sieun there was still another girl who was here before you he hasn’t mentioned. It seemed stupid really, what were you expecting— someone like Sunghoon had girls waiting for him around the corner at every class, he was different from you. It was stupid for you to ask the question knowing you weren’t going to like the answer.
“I guess Professor Oh doesn’t count either— she was the one who lead us up here for the whole experiment and all.” he finally stated, with a sly smile his chuckle rang in your ear watching you realize he was messing with you the whole time. Much to your horror you were glad that was the truth.
With your legs swinging over the side, you flinched slightly when the breeze blew against your skin. It was pretty chilly that night and in a rush you forgot to grab the jacket you had laid out on the couch. The sound of Sunghoon shuffling pulled you back into the moment as you watched him shrug off his varsity jacket, placing it over your shoulders much to your dismay. 
Muttering a small ‘thanks’, you giggled when Sunghoon nudged your side with his elbow, making it annoyingly obvious he wasn’t going to move away anytime soon, you were used to this, his little antics that always had you smiling to the point the apples of your cheeks ached. “Thanks for coming today Y/N— I mean it really.” he softly muttered meeting your eyes that smiled back at him. 
“Of course, I came— I told you I keep promises.” You whispered back, your smiling fading slowly feeling his finger slowly grab onto yours.
“So if you promise to keep coming to my games…you will?” he challenged, gripping your hand softly as you nodded firmly. 
“And you promise we’ll keep studying together, even after the next exam?” 
“Only if you want to Hoon.”
“Then can you promise—” he paused; bringing your intertwined fingers up to his lips, the glint in his eye shining brighter than the string lights that could be mistaken as fireflies above you. It was a feeling you’ve never felt before, you wonder at times if meeting Sunghoon in these circumstances was a coincidence, maybe if you weren’t so different from him you wouldn’t think this was all a mistake. But in moments like this, when it was just the two of you in each other’s ambiance and warmth you hoped those mistakes only took you to the right place— with Sunghoon.
“Promise we’ll stay like this.” his words echoing as the two of you sat gazing at each other intently, his thumb rubbing circles around your skin as you nodded softly with a small smile. How strange was this you thought, sitting here with him felt like a dream— but you were wide awake. Feeling him lean in slightly; your fingers gripped his as the warmth of his sigh cascaded across your cheek, his bangs tickling your forehead feeling his nose brushed against yours softly. Inhaling softly you gasp when his lip touched yours ever so gently, his mole you’ve only glanced at when he wasn’t looking was staring right at you.
“Yo Sunghoon! You going to that party later this week?” A sudden voice surprised you from down below, pulling away quickly you chugged a gulp of beer eyeing the frat symbol on the jacket the boy was wearing. “Yeah, it’s Jay’s birthday, right? Think I promised a friend I was going.” he huffed out, slightly unamused from the disruption leaning on the side with one hand. 
“Hey Y/N…” the guy greeted, his smile hinting a teasing tone before walking away quickly back towards the field. “You should come this weekend it’ll be fun, promise?” You heard him whisper, his lip brushing the shell of your ear softly and you had no choice but to nod.
 And you truly wished you didn’t.
The weekend came in a blink of an eye and you found yourself surrounded by classmates you’ve seen around but never got the chance to mingle with. You would’ve never guessed you’d be asking Naeun for help picking an outfit for tonight but you found yourself not believing in a lot of things when it came to Sunghoon. 
“Waiting for me?” You heard someone say from behind, his familiar warmth spreading across your back as a smile made its way to your lips. “Sunghoon.” You whispered, turning to embrace him as you admired his styled-up hair and simple grin. 
All sense of insecurity washed away feeling him pull you in a hug, greeting his friends passing by with a bright smile as you held your drink over his shoulders; a red cup in one hand while the other patted him softly. You couldn’t help but laugh feeling him turn you in different directions to say hello to everyone greeting him. He was here with you, and he made sure to make that painfully obvious. 
Since that night on the rooftop, neither you nor Sunghoon addressed the almost kiss the two of you shared—embarrassment on your part and your gut, more like Naeun’s input, told you it was gonna happen tonight…something was. At this point, it’s been a few months since you and Sunghoon have grown close, and your feelings have grown over time and so have his affections around you. 
Sunghoon wasn’t afraid to make it known you were with him, whether it be holding your hand as the two of you walked on campus or stopping by classes to pick you up after lectures. He’s made a home in your apartment and you could only wonder where things would lead for the two of you if he just popped the question.
“Sunghoon the girl you showed up with just ran out.” You heard his friend whisper, his eyes suddenly darting around before pulling out his phone. You knew Sunghoon came with a friend, and you couldn’t help but worry as well seeing how panicked he was scrolling through his contacts. You’ve seen her around before, a music major— you guessed the two of them knew each other from a class or club. 
“Hey can you stay here and wait for me? I’ll make it quick I promise baby.” You heard him hastily whisper, leaving you standing there nodding absentmindedly as he made his way through the crowd. 
When twenty minutes turned into an hour, you found yourself sitting on the couch, checking your phone in hopes of seeing his name pop up asking where you were in the unfamiliar place. Your heart immediately jumped feeling the buzz of your notification ignoring the way the people around you were wondering why you were suddenly sitting alone, silently alone after socializing with others not that long ago. 
“Naeun?” You answered quietly, digging your fingers into the fabric of the couch as you tried to tune out the mix of music and voices you couldn’t seem to understand from around you. 
“I’m at the party waiting for Sunghoon but—” You flinched; yelping when someone jumped over you— laughing a hasty ‘sorry’. You reassured her you were fine but by the way your voice was trembling, she knew you were lying. 
Biting your lip you could hear her concern laced voice asking you again if you were okay. Naeun offered to come along but you assured her Sunghoon would take care of you, Sunghoon would be here for you, Sunghoon—-
“Hey you’re here with Park right?” an unfamiliar voice pulled you away from call, a faint ‘I’m on my way’ brushing past your ears. Nodding, your eyes widened in realization it was Sunghoon’s friend from earlier. Naeun had hung up long ago and despite ignoring the male trying to pull you into a conversation, your mind couldn’t help but drift wondering where Sunghoon disappeared off to.
“I’m honestly surprised Sunghoon kept you around for how long he did.” Snapping your attention back to the man, your furrowed brows were enough to tell him he finally piqued your interest. “Sunghoon left a while ago with some girl, she wasn’t the one who he showed up with but he seemed pretty happy to leave.” The male shrugged, your head shaking in disbelief taking another look at your phone still cleared of notifications. 
“No he said he was coming right back— he promised.” You argued softly, tensing when you felt him throw an arm over your shoulder before a red cup disrupted your view. 
You weren’t sure how many cups you’d had since then, the colored lights blurring together while your cheek was leaned against whoever the fuck was closest to you. Naeun was nowhere to be seen and you could feel the alcohol hitting your system harder than it ever had before. Sunghoon still wasn’t here, you didn’t want to believe he left you here for another girl— but with no text and no sign of him anywhere, maybe it was true. His friend from earlier seemed to have disappeared as well, your last memory of him was asking you to take another shot before someone else piqued his interest. 
“Y/N. Y/N stand up.” Shaking your head you threw your arm over the familiar girl who mumbled to whoever was next to you in annoyance. 
“Sunghoon—” 
“He’s not coming let’s go.” You heard her firmly say, dragging you carefully out of the house with your feet tripping over themselves down the stairs. Catching a brief view of the clock you realized it’s been four hours since Sunghoon said he’d be back. 
“Naeun let go he’s coming back!” 
“Y/N he’s not! I asked around while looking for you and they said he fucking left a while ago, he’s not coming so snap out of it.” she struggled to say, her teeth gritting together from dragging you to sit on the curbside watching the realization settle in your eyes he really did leave with someone else—when he promised. 
You were prepared for this, sort of, someone like Sunghoon was just never made to be with someone like you, it was too good to be true. 
You ready for this,or so you thought, the utter realization that maybe this was all fun and games for him until he got bored and moved onto the next. 
You expected this, though you wished for it to never happen, yet somehow it still hurt.
“He promised.” You whispered, a tear escaping down your cheek as Naeun stood there in pity, slowly engulfed in the cloud of grief overtaking your eyes and mind— and all she could do was hope the pain would go away, or so she promised, but since that night you weren’t too sure about promises anymore.
“Ms Kim!” 
“I’m so sorry, is everyone done with the quiz?” You asked while standing from your desk, smiling at the students who nodded in unison as you collected the sheets of paper passed to the front in stacks. You’ve had a rough weekend, on top of preparing for the upcoming faculty meeting you were still processing the reality that Sunghoon was indeed the new teacher in the literature department—and the new coach. With the bell ringing you dismissed everyone who seemed to be in high spirits after hearing that you weren’t assigning any homework for today. 
Sitting back down you hummed in acknowledgment seeing both Jungwon and Niki by your desk, the coffee you had earlier cold in your palms grinning at the both of them shifting in their place nervously. After your talk with Sunghoon last week, the boys told you he was adamant about practice hours— being that stubborn you didn’t expect anything less.
“So can I expect to see the two of you later for tutoring? Or am I going to stop by practice to pull the both of you out myself?” Arduously looking at the two boys, you knew the answer was the latter; by their tight smiles, they didn’t have much of a choice. 
You were hoping— slightly hoping Sunghoon had it in him to not be an asshole making you walk all the way to the gym where practice was being held, especially not in your stilettos. He’s always been this way, the first couple of days the two of you studied together you concluded he wasn’t much of a listener nor much of a compromiser.
And when it was time to start after school tutoring, you could only tap your heel as it’s been ten minutes since you were scheduled to start.
“Mother fucker.” You hushed under your breath, shooting up in your chair hastily, you did your best to ignore the looks from your students waiting for tutoring to start at their desks. With your heels clicking against the tiles you quickly found your way to the gym, the sound of whistles and basketballs bouncing against the gym floor echoed through the opened doors as you walked in. 
It was a familiar feeling, quite familiar noting Sunghoon from across the court with a clipboard in one hand and a whistle in the other. You weren’t sure what overcame you, but you found yourself bee-lining towards the blonde— his brow quirked up from your sudden appearance.
Switching practice times was something Sunghoon just— felt like doing, well not really. Seeing you here was one of the last cursed encounters he expected to face after the last time the two of you met eyes years ago. 
When your widened eyes greeted him that evening, something instantly sparked in him, nostalgia? He wasn’t sure if it was the good or bad kind yet— it felt surreal in a way. The one girl he wished he met sooner back in college was the science teacher at the new high school he was transferred to for the spring semester. 
You were different, so different from the last time he’d seen you. Your usual smile that warmed his heart back then was now replaced with an unfamiliar one, a tired gaze that seemed so distant from the ones that used to look up at him in affection. Your hair was longer than before and it was weird to see you dressed in business attire when he only remembered your casual ones. 
And then it hit him—it has been a while. 
He liked to believe things stayed how they were before, he hoped they did— and maybe they were.
“I told you to change practice hours, how are you a literature teacher who lacks comprehension skills?”
Well, it wouldn’t be the first time he was wrong about something.
Practice was going well today, the students were finally back into a healthy energetic mindset after weeks of exams. He was aware of the eligibility rule and your request but seeing how tired most of them were, he knew it was important to let his athletes have that extra three hours of sleep. As a former student-athlete, Sunghoon knew how important it was for rest and recovery, he’ll do what he has to do to ensure his students got just that. 
“You said I lack comprehension skills?” he huffed amused, his eyes on your figure recovering from walking across campus, your face visibly flushed from being winded and irritated. 
“Ms.Kim this is a closed practice, does that mean you lack common courtesy to follow rules?” he argued back, roughly shoving the clipboard to the assistant without hesitation– earning a surprised grunt from the poor man.
You could practically feel your eye twitch watching the smug look overtake his features, enjoying the frustration seething from your eyes in real time. 
“Maybe don’t leave the gym doors open next time if it’s a closed practice, plus Coach Lee let me in.” You grinned phonily, your upturned smile dropping instantly pushing past him as your eyes scanned the court for Niki and Jungwon. Many of the students greeted you politely despite being in the midst of drills and training. Calling their names they immediately ran towards you, a conflicted expression painting their face as a whistle was blown directly behind you. 
Flinching you were greeted with a now annoyed Sunghoon eyeing the two boys behind you who were ready to leave with their things. 
“Move and I’m not going to repeat myself, Mr.Park.” You exhaled tremulously, your words not really reaching his ears after noticing exactly how close you were after turning to face him. 
“Don’t disrupt my practice again or I promise you’ll be dealing with a lot more than conflicting hours,” he whispered, his brows furrowing at the way your pupils wavered softly. You almost scoffed really, here you were face to face to Park Sunghoon after a long time.
You had every right and opportunity to confront him, yell at him even; asking why he left that night and why he never bothered to call or text after. The two of you after that party went back to how you were before— strangers.
Instead here you were merely inches away staring at the mole beside his nose you remember clearly. His minty breath fanned your lashes after the huffed out a sigh of disbelief. He could have ended up at any other high school, why did it have to be here? 
“I don’t think you’re someone who should be making promises Sunghoon.” You sneered in a whisper, his eyes widening slightly before dropping the silver whistle from his lips. Scoffing softly you called for the two to follow you and thankfully, they did. With your heels clicking against the court, you did your best to ignore the burning sensation spreading through your chest, nodding at the students bidding you goodbye with a smile. 
“I guess your talk with Coach didn’t go well the other day.”  You heard Jungwon whisper, a small chuckle to lighten the mood which you appreciated. “Let’s just say Coach Park and I know each other well.” opening the door to the class with a huff, you apologized to the other kids with a smile. 
“We can come every other day— if that’s okay,” Niki suggested, setting his bag on the floor taking a seat next to his teammate.
“Is he going to allow you to come every other day?” You asked with a raised brow,  seeing the both of them nod genuinely you heaved a sigh and smiled softly. And to your surprise, they did come every other day, you haven’t seen Sunghoon since then, and thankfully so. 
Making sure to ignore him in the faculty lounge during lunches— you even committed to coming early hours in the morning to print all your things just to avoid him in the storage units. It’s been exactly four days since your heated argument with him— Naeun saying it was fate when you mentioned it to her over the phone. 
“Fate my asshole.” you cursed, gripping your shoulder bag as you got off the terminal making your way to work. It was the day of the faculty meeting you’ve dreaded while preparing for— Ms.Go appointed you as the new head of the science department at the last meeting and not many people were too fond of that. Greeting your other colleagues your eyes trailed over those who were smiling while greeting you a hello. Some were your friends and seniors you looked up to while others were just those who respected you and your efforts for your job.
“Someone is sitting here—from my department.” Blinking at the women your gaze settled on her hand blocking the chair you were going to pull out to sit in. That was a lie, you knew it was. With good people also came the ones who weren’t that nice when the news dropped that you were appointed to the new position. Nodding an apology you couldn’t help but chew on your bottom noting the only other seat left unoccupied. 
Slowly setting your bag on the floor you pulled out all the paperwork needed for the meeting starting soon, ignoring the obvious stare on your right as you huffed out a sigh. Not able to ignore it any longer you gave the blonde a curt nod, brows furrowing as he didn’t acknowledge your greeting at all. 
“Oh? Y/N!” A familiar voice caused you to look up from your files, grinning at the familiar smile walking back to his seat with a cup of coffee. 
“Coach Lee!” You snickered softly, eyeing the extra cup of coffee he pushed towards you trying to ignore the looks from some of the older ladies down the table. Jeno was another Coach at the school for the soccer team who was also head of the math department. Being similar in age the two of you got along as assistants when you first started.
“Thank you..” giving him a soft whisper, you admired the swirls of creme floating on top of the expresso, a sigh escaping from you feeling the warmth spread between your fingers. After a couple of savoring sips, you paused as something—more like someone, was bothering you. You could only watch as Sunghoon glanced between you and the cup of coffee between your palms. His dark brows in a stern frown before scoffing and fixing his tie; it was the first time you had a good look at Sunghoon outside of his baggy sports attire after so long. 
His tall nose and pushed-up hair perfectly enhanced his face while the white dress shirt snugged nicely against his shoulders. He had grown into his features, that boyish charm now replaced with a cold stare and small frown. 
What was his problem? It wasn’t like you wanted to sit here in the first place, sneering slightly you took one last sip; purposefully glaring at him when your eye caught his gaze once again. 
“Are you ready for the presentation? I know it’s your first one since becoming the head of your department.” You heard Jeno ask you, nodding you smiled glancing at all the paperwork you were able to compress into a ten-fifteen-minute presentation.
“I’m not going to lie I had some trouble since there’s so much to talk about but— I think I did good.” You nodded, catching his smile as he pulled out his own set of notes. “Well, you ever need my help you can always ask me, you know my hours and my email.” With a thankful nod, your smile dropped hearing someone scoff beside you— a little too loudly you noted, glancing at the blonde with an irritated glint.
Before you could ask him what his problem was Ms. Go entered the room as everyone stood to greet her respectfully. As she caught your figure her smile widened in acknowledgment that you knew many people took note of, with everyone taking their seats you could feel your palms grow clammy as each department presented one by one. Jeno’s bright smile and convincing talk about changing the math curriculum passed quicker than you expected which meant one thing, it was your turn soon— next actually.
“Ms.Kim you’re up.”
Heaving out a shaky ‘yes’ your legs felt like jelly as you gathered all your notes, glancing at the other teachers in your department giving you an encouraging smile as you passed them walking to the front. The sound of your heels clicking against the floor seemed to be the only thing echoing in your thoughts as the gazes and judgmental stares seemed to have filled your vision making you visibly tense. It was true, there were many teachers here with way more years of experience and opinions but Ms.Go and the board choose you for a reason— that’s what you kept telling yourself. After a brief introduction, you noted Ms.Go’s intent gaze causing you to stutter slightly. 
“After working with the students and seeing the science program here, I have some changes that I believe would be beneficial.” Despite the scoffs heard from a few, you could feel the relief wash over you as Ms.Go nodded writing down some notes. “Looking at the curriculum a lot of the lesson plans are very outdated and don’t tend to the needs of the students now— I suggest we change our approach on what we expect from the kids. Things have changed in the new age which makes it only appropriate to change how we teach as well.” 
“And we trust the kids in your hands why?” Trying your best to hold back the frown leaking through your stiff smile you turned to Ms.Jung who was part of the literature and linguistics department, honesty you were expecting this type of question to come up somewhere in your presentation. However, when some of your other colleagues began dabbling in the conversation, you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed at the amount of unwanted opinions directed towards you and the other teachers in your department. 
“Why would I take your word when I’ve been doing this for as long you’ve been alive.” Ms.Jung scoffed– her face clearly satisfied by the mess she caused making you look down in embarrassment. 
“What type of meeting is this if no one listens to what is being presented.” The sudden silence was caused by Sunghoon’s slightly irritated tone, his brows in a deep frown while tapping his pen against the desk in a steady beat. 
“Who do you think you’re talking to young man? I heard you’re new here and that’s how you treat your seniors—”
“What kind of seniors treats their younger colleagues that way? Ms.Kim is obviously really passionate and good at her job if she’s the science department leader… I think she knows better than anyone here what to do with the students,” he interjected, observing the way Ms.Jung looked taken aback by his sudden comment, a smug look casting over his face.
“It’s true since Ms.Kim became one of the main teachers— our science sector has seen tremendous amounts of improvement in overall scores and individual performances.” Ms.Go added with a nod, a small genuine smile making its way to your face with a humble nod. 
“Working with Ms.Kim I trust her enough to listen— I hope everyone can as well.” Surprised, you gave Jeno a grateful grin before you continued your presentation, your eyes catching Sunghoon’s deepen frown making you look away confused every once in a while. He was the one who helped you in the first place so why did he look so upset? 
However, you were unaware that his frown wasn’t directed towards you— but instead to Jeno who added a comment earlier he considered unnecessary, very unnecessary. 
After the meeting ended you searched for Sunghoon who already made his way out of the faculty room. You wanted to thank him for deescalating the situation earlier but he never gave you a second glance the moment you sat down again beside him. Making your way through the crowd, your eye searched for the blonde male making his way down the hall before pausing at your voice calling for him. 
“Hey.” You huffed fixing the bag on your shoulder, awkwardly glancing down to his hand gripping his own bag beside him. The cold air blowing from the conditioner made you shiver, you didn’t realize but your voice came out a lot softer than you expected. “I just wanted to say thank you— for earlier you know.” You could only watch as Sunghoon stared down at you, his head nodding in acknowledgment before turning away slowly. 
“Wait!” You didn’t know what prompted you to grab his blazer, maybe it was the way you haven’t heard his voice in so long, but all you wanted was to savor this moment with him a little longer. 
“I’ll buy you a coffee, my treat.” the offer quickly slipping from your lips.
“This wasn’t what I was thinking.” You heard him scoff beside you, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed as you mixed coffee and some milk from the faculty vending machine. With a grin you shrugged your shoulders, ripping some sugar packets before whisking with a spoon, a drink that you often had going through hell and back since working here. 
“Well Coach Lee and I would whip this up for each other ever since the both of us started as assistants, it’s my treat so be grateful at least.” You mumbled, throwing away all the trash while admiring the way the coffee swirled from the momentum of your mixing. His expression still cold as he pulled his phone from his pocket ignoring your statement.
You didn’t know why but this was making you slightly annoyed— hurt even. The two of you were colleagues now and you were doing your best to extend an olive branch despite what happened in the past. The least he could do was— 
Your eyes widen slightly at an unfamiliar scent mixed with the bitterness of the coffee, lashes fluttering as you felt his arm brush your chest faintly. Grabbing the cup of coffee from your grasp, you could only watch as Sunghoon took a sip from the drink, his furrowed brows relaxing softly seeing you look up to him in a daze. 
“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to drink it— jeez.” Taking another long sip, your lips lifted slightly seeing him finish the drink in one go. 
“The coffee isn’t going to run away from you Mr. Park slow down.” You huffed, picking up your bag before making your way to the door; a slight warmth spreading throughout your chest hearing him call out your name as you didn’t bother turning back. 
Since then none of the other teachers have bothered you in and out of the faculty meetings, you weren’t sure if it was because of Sunghoon or the fact they’ve accepted your new position— but it was one less thing to worry about. And to your surprise since your little barista session, the two of you kept it respectful and greeted each other whether it be passing in the halls or coincidentally seeing each other in the storage room; it was better than acting like each other’s existence didn’t matter because deep down— you at least knew it did.
“Right, so you need to move all the pH variables to this side and—” While helping some of the kids, you were interrupted by the sound of your door opening hastily. Immediately fixing your posture, your eyes widened at the sight of Sunghoon standing at the doorway with Niki and Jungwon. His gaze looked around the room almost in embarrassment with his hands shoved in his track pants. It was the first time he was in your class after your first encounter at the start of the month.
“I forgot it was your day with the kids— here.” You heard him say, pushing the two who were still dressed in their athletic clothing as he huffed a cough from your soft greeting towards the both of them. 
“Well they’re doing really well recently so I wouldn’t have minded the two of them staying with you.” Pushing your hands into your back pockets, you stood next to Sunghoon after giving Jungwon a small pat on the back with a sigh. With the first big game against the rival school coming soon— you understood the need for practice on the court. 
“If I didn’t know what both of you were talking about I’d assume it was about co-parenting,” Niki mumbled throwing his bag on the floor after you failed to greet him the same way you did Jungwon. Hearing a few snickers from the other students you quickly denied his statement, blinking rapidly as you moved away from an equally flustered Sunghoon who was mentioning extra laps around the track if Niki didn’t get to work.
After a few minutes of settling everyone in their seats, you noted Sunghoon still by the door, “Are you not going to return to practice?” You asked him, watching his eyes flicker back to you after gazing into space again.
“Oh— my assistant has it covered, the boys are just doing a practice game so I don’t really need to be there.” He nodded ruffling his track pants quietly. With a nod you motioned for him to have a seat at the lab tables if he wished to. 
“Well you’re welcome to stay if you want to, I’m just going to go over a few topics before assigning practice worksheets.” You told him with a grin. Sunghoon obviously took the opportunity to stay as for the past couple of days; he purposely changed his route around campus to find more opportunities to run into you. 
It’s just been—- so long. Hearing your voice again somehow pulled him back into this warm serenity he’s been missing for years. Your soft laugh that rang like wedding bells in his ear resurfaced drowned out thoughts and emotions that kept him up during the night and distracted him during the day. Things didn’t end the way he wished—nor did they end the way he thought they would. 
He should’ve never asked you to go to that damn party, the two of you were fine before that whole hell hole. Sunghoon trusted you— trusted you when it came to tutoring him to his full potential and trusted you to be honest when it came to if his hair looked weird in the morning. But he never thought he had to question his trust when it came to your feelings towards him. 
One minute he left to go find a friend who was light years braver than him when it came to words of love and confession— and the next he came back to you with another person; another man. An acquaintance, one who never really had good things to say about him. To see you leaning against him with your face cradled into his neck sharing shots together, made his stomach drop.
Dread? Sorrow? Regret? 
What else was there to say, he hadn’t asked to you be his girlfriend officially yet since he was so scared. 
Of rejection? No. Commitment? No, so what was it?
There he was, standing in the midst of the party seeing you slip away from his fingers in what felt like seconds, and he never looked back. 
Pride? Prejudice? He was sure the english novel that was apart of his assignment at the time persuaded the labels listed but things seemed better off this way. He never reached out and you didn’t either— apart of him hoped you did, but seeing you pass him on campus reassured him that maybe he was expecting too much; and he did. 
Years later despite what happened, he couldn’t help but feel a part of him yearn for that fulfillment again. To feel your hands cradling his face, your voice warming him in love and solace. But he concluded since those days being someone who feels too deeply— is just too exhausting.
“Woah—” Sunghoon mumbled out of his daze, your hand slamming slightly on the lab table startled him as the students left one by one as it’s been almost an hour since tutoring started. “Tutoring is over, you can leave now Coach Park.” holding back a grin, you couldn’t help but snicker at his flustered expression, something you haven’t seen in a while. Sunghoon stood hastily— embarrassed as his two athletes were glancing at him with slight snickers.
“Hey! Be ready for practice tomorrow, on time or I’m adding two extra sets to each workout.” Despite Niki and Jungwon’s teasing gaze towards him as they left— ones you didn’t notice, Sunghoon couldn’t help but shift in place seeing you struggle to put all the chairs on top of the tables for evening cleaning. 
Moving to help you, the sound of the clock ticking and chairs scratching against the tile floor filled the unfamiliar silence that surrounded you btoh— unfamiliar in a way where for the first time in a while for you and him; the silence didn’t have to hurt anymore.
“Are you heading home soon?” You heard him ask beside you, glancing out the window with the sun setting in the distance; you let out a tired sigh with a nod. 
“Okay I’ll go grab my things and walk you to the lot, meet me in front.” Before you could deny his request he was already out your door in a blink. A small snicker escaped your lips as you swiftly went to gather your things, you weren’t sure what was going through that little mind of his at the moment, but a part of you was glad he wasn’t acting like the two of you were complete strangers. 
“Is your car this way?” you heard him ask, the two of you meeting outside your hall before walking to the front of the school.
“Uh— I’m actually taking the bus, my car is still in the dealer because the breaks were acting up last month.” running a hand through your hair you thanked him softly for walking you this far until you felt him grab ahold of your forearm. 
“Then I’ll just take you home it’s probably on the way—”
“No! I’ll probably stop by to get dinner, it’s fine really you don’t have to.” You reassured him, doing your best to pull away from his grasp that only tightened the more you resisted. 
“Then let’s just catch up.” His suggestion makes you pause in shock, “I should probably eat dinner too.” How could you say no, he was looking at you with those hopeful eyes again, a glint of excitement in them when you unconsciously nodded to his offer.
“Auntie can we have two bowls please!” you called out— greeting the workers you saw often at the local noodle shop with a smile sitting down across Sunghoon, you thanked the waiter who was placing drinks infront of the both of you. 
“You seem to come here often, is it that good?” His light-hearted comment caused you to chuckle as you passed him the utensils from the box. 
“Once you eat what I ordered you won’t question my taste again.” Slightly glaring at him your cheeks immediately lifted as his laugh filled the booth. 
“That’s what you said about that one pizza place on campus— I’m sure you remember the fish bones underneath the cheese.” he pointed out, his foot tapping yours slightly as your lips puckered at the memory of Sunghoon pulling out a few fish bones from his slice of pizza. 
It was one of your weekend dates where you offered to find a place for dinner, despite it being one of the worst meals you’ve had during college it was a sweet memory the two of you cherished.
“And there wasn’t even fish on the menu.” with your expression in a scrunch, a smile broke onto your face as Sunghoon’s dimple was full display, recalling the utter horror the both of you shared realizing the crunches on your pizza weren’t dried onions. 
“Okay this does look good…”Gawking at the bowl of hot noodles in front of him, Sunghoon couldn’t help but dig in as you nodded watching him sip the broth; savoring the taste and warmth of each spoonful. 
You and Sunghoon did have many cherishing moments together. Figured as time went by you could push down these memories and hopefully, they would fade away the same way your happiness did with each passing month. Maybe the storm brewing in your heart could wash away any traces of him you had left in your mind, but of course, those prayers went unanswered.
You hoped it was one of those instances where you missed the memories more than the person, but deep down you knew that wasn’t true. Just a mental coping mechanism to convince yourself the closure you never got wasn’t the one thing you needed to move on with what happened. 
Why? Self-depreciation perhaps, emotions do that to a person. Maybe it clicked that you simply refused to let go of the memories— feelings you felt when things were good till they weren’t as it was a reminder that what you had was a good thing that should’ve never ended. 
But maybe it needed to.
“You were right this place is pretty good.” He huffed a chuckle, watching your eyes travel back to your bowl as you scoffed slightly.
“Niki and Jungwon don’t have to come every other day anymore, they should be fine with eligibility just send them when you can.” You nodded finishing the last of your meal, Sunghoon sat watching you quietly as you hummed with each bite. You kept your habits over the years, fingers pushing your hair behind your ears ever so often to the way your eyes were unable to meet his when you spoke or caught his gaze by accident, it was all the same. 
“And I know I’ve said this already but seriously thank you—for speaking up during the meeting,” pausing your eyes met his as the soft music within the restaurant feathered your words of appreciation. 
“They haven’t bothered me since which takes so much stress off of me.” With a small laugh, you expected him to follow, but your expression falls short when you noted his contemplating eyes gazing down with a frown. 
With the two of you here in the moment, despite the cordial decency you wanted to keep, Sunghoon couldn’t help but wish to know the truth. In the few months it took for the two of you to grow close, there was always the unknown if you would be more than friends. After being accustomed to your minuscule characteristics and habits, something never truly settled right with him about what happened. 
You just weren’t that type of person.
If things never worked out between the both of you it would’ve been because a few reasons, but none of them being what he saw that night. Your slight aggression towards him now after the obvious change of attitude from that night told him maybe things weren’t the way it seemed.
“Stop thanking me, just take it as a very delayed thank you for helping me graduate.” He huffed out, making sure to keep the cordial atmosphere you tried so hard to create during work despite the curiosity brewing inside him. 
“Speaking of graduation, did you miss the ceremony? I don’t remember seeing you when I went for friends who were in the same major.” he finally spit out—his question obviously making you freeze, you weren’t expecting him to bring up anything from back then. 
But Sunghoon was always full of surprises.
“Uh— yeah I, actually attended an overseas internship so that required me to leave a few days before the ceremony.” Picking the vegetables in your bowl, you could practically feel his gaze burning holes into you. Sunghoon knew you were lying, but he wasn’t going to let you know that. 
“Are you sure it didn’t have anything to deal with what happened?” your jaw tensed as you set down the pair of chopsticks bringing your eyes to meet his. 
“And what exactly are you referring to Sunghoon?” voice tinted with anger taking in the solemn expression that suddenly overtook his face. 
“Are you recalling to the fact I was in between what I wanted to do with my major so I took an extra semester to graduate or the fact the both of us just— went back to pretending like we were strangers?” You didn’t know what snapped inside you, past anger and resentment like skeletons in a closet finally acknowledged for the first time; in a long time. 
“Strangers?” Sunghoon scoffed, trailing his eyes away from you to the empty booth beside you two in exasperation. “You think what happened was something that happened for the fuck of it? Is that all it was to you?” his tone cold looking back at you. 
Confusion? Indignation? You couldn’t pinpoint what exactly blossomed when your eyes met, but something made his eyes turn cold as the realization settled that you weren’t the only one hurting. Eyes that once looked at you with warmth and tenderness now looked at you in vexation. 
“You made a promise you couldn’t keep then left taking no responsibility like the coward you were.” slamming the money you found to cover the bill on the table, you stood from your seat in a hurry. You did your best to make things seem as if the two of you shared nothing more than a few classes back in college; normal— so why the hell did he have to show up in your life again when you were starting to realize what’s coming will be better than what was gone.
“Wait Y/N let’s just talk—”
“There’s nothing to talk about Sunghoon! You made things painfully clear that night so please just… pretend like we don’t know each other.” And with a frown you left, this whole acting normal bit was bullshit to begin with. Sitting back down in the booth Sunghoon couldn’t help but curse as the sight of your back leaving the shop quickly seemed a little too familiar. 
Instead of clarity, he left with more questions to fill his thoughts at night. 
“And you’re saying he was basically hinted you were the reason things didn’t work out.” Naeun pointed out; brows raised in revelation as the both of you were seated in your living room, cans of beer lining the coffee table alongside bags of snacks she prepared after asking her to come over. After your small altercation with Sunghoon last night you really needed another opinion on the situation— and a drink. 
“Well, he didn’t say it but it felt like he was insinuating it— I don’t know! Either way, I saw what I saw and heard what I heard, and you did too.” whining slightly you took one last gulp from the nearly empty can before crushing it within your palm. You thought it was ridiculous how Sunghoon had the impudence to turn this around on you, but what would be the reason?  
“Y/N just ignore him, it’s not worth thinking about it this much… I say you distract yourself with that cute coworker you’ve been friends with.” she chuckled passing you another can which you accepted with a frown. 
“You mean Jeno?” 
“Well— you said he was your type and the two of you get along well, I say why not.” she shrugged, nodding to the beat of the music playing from your speaker you let out a sigh of… consideration. 
It was true, the both of you always got along well, both in the work setting and away. Maybe you were too busy with forwarding your career, but you never thought about getting involved romantically with anyone else, that’s what you told yourself. 
And there was truth to it, in the years since you’ve accomplished a lot in your line of work. Aspirations became reachable goals, and you were finally at a point in your career which you considered stable for your age and experience. You wouldn’t lie and say you didn’t try to to talk to other men in these few years, but they just never worked out, they weren’t—
“Sunghoon is going to be a part of the school festival committee with you?” Blinking out from your daze, you nodded bringing your knees to your chest. “You make it sound like it’s just the two of us.” Chuckling slightly you popped open another can of beer to refresh the lingering bitterness on your tongue.
“But yes, the Science and Literature department are paired up for the festival. I’ll just do my best to ignore him but I’ll be hard if he keeps being confrontational.”
“Are you sure you’ll be fine?” Nodding at her softly you gave her a hug thanking her for coming over to make you feel better. 
“Go— your clingy boyfriend is about to call me again asking if you’re coming home.” With a smile she flicked you off before bidding you goodbye quietly in the hall outside of your condo.
Naeun always found you and Sunghoon odd, how such contrasting individuals were able to grow so fond of one another, adapt to each other so quickly and willingly. You were kind at heart with a mind that was filled with never-ending dreams while he was someone who lived in the moment with a dubious reserved mind. You’d think two people of similar nature would get along much better, but once she met her own lover in her grad years, she understood that wasn’t the case. 
“Yeah can I get one americano with milk please.” Glancing up from her phone, Naeun had to glance again to make sure what she saw— more like who, wasn’t who she thought it was. Naeun was here to have a drink before meeting with her boyfriend for a date to end the weekend, and the last person she expected to see was the guy her best friend was reviling last night.
“Park Sunghoon what are you doing here?” being just as shocked as she was, Sunghoon gave her an amused nod before walking over with his receipt. “She wasn’t lying when she said you were back huh, what are you doing getting coffee this afternoon.” Acknowledging his backpack she let out a hum when he told her he was here to fish a few assignments he had for upcoming lesson plans. 
Shifting on his feet, Sunghoon offered for them to take a seat recognizing that glint in Naeun’s glare that he knew well from before— she had questions, and he could guess about who.
“Did you know Y/N worked there before coming?” Being thrown off by the sudden question, Sunghoon couldn’t help but choke a bit on his coffee. Americano with milk and sugar, a staple he grew to love after you made him a slightly different version a while back at work. 
“If I knew she was here I wouldn’t have taken the offer.” With a raised brow Naeun couldn’t help but scoff slightly. 
“Wow you really do have the uttermost audacity.” leaning back in her chair as Sunghoon stared at her in confusion. 
“Listen I know you’re friends so you’d defend her despite anything and I’m not demeaning you for that—”
“And what would I be defending her for? Giving you a chance when other people were making her feel like she shouldn’t have? You broke her heart Sunghoon, embarrassed her in front of people who didn’t even know her.” Rolling her eyes Naeun was growing frustrated looking at the way his upset expression turned confused.
“Don’t act stupid Sunghoon people saw and told Y/N, people even told me that you left with some girl that night and never came back.” Sitting in silence, Naeun couldn’t help but cross her arms at the sudden quietude overcoming the table, the silent noise in the background filling the empty ambiance between the two. 
“Are you finally remembering now? Because I had to show up and pull Y/N off some—”
“Wait. Who told you that, who told her that? I told Y/N I was going to look for a friend— but I never left… she knows that.” A shift in his voice was clearly acknowledged by Naeun as she sat up in her seat shaking her head.
“I don’t know it was some guy she kept saying was your friend when I found her; drunk and delirious might I add, but she trusted you.” Disappointment laced her tone while Sunghoon looked away, thoughts running miles she could see, his eyes darting from the busy sidewalk outside back to the blending of coffee beans at the counter.
“I went to go talk to a friend— who I ended up not being able to find, then I came back and she was with an acquaintance I knew…he was all over her and I don’t know.” rubbing the paper cover over his cup, Sunghoon felt the weight shifting off his shoulders being able to finally talk to someone about what happened. But when Naeun didn’t respond; he couldn’t help but look up only to be met with bundled-up tissue paper thrown at him.
“You think she would really do that to you Sunghoon? She liked you, way too much for that to happen.” Hissing through her teeth Naeun couldn’t help but let out a frustrated sigh, not at Sunghoon— but to you as well. What type of misunderstanding led to two different views of what happened? 
Running his fingers through his hair Sunghoon couldn’t help but grimace at her response. “Naeun that guy she was with was someone who showed interest in her before, he was a teammate of mine and I don’t know—”
“Well that would explain why he told people you left with someone else. I found her leaning against someone else for support because that asshole got her drunk and then left to god knows where.” With his eyes doubling in size, he couldn’t exactly explain the feeling traveling through him as he chugged the last of his coffee in one go. Foolishness? He knew better than to think you would do that, a mix of internal and external variables engrained him with a different memory than what happened.
But was it wrong for him to feel slightly hopeful? 
Cursing was the only thing Sunghoon could do sitting with this new information as Naeun finally understood the grasp of how big the misunderstanding was. 
“Is she at home now?” His question caused her gaze to snap toward him with a nod. “Then I should go talk to her about this—this mistake.” Stopping him quickly, Sunghoon knew it was imprudent to confront you at the moment, with what happened a few days ago he could conclude you probably wanted nothing else to do with him.
“Well you see, I might or might not have encouraged her to move on and forget about you and everything that happened.” Sheepishly scratching her cheek, she rolled her eyes as Sunghoon reassured her it was nothing to be sorry for.
“And I may or may not have told her to take a chance with the cute Coach from the math department.”
“Oh.” 
Naeun couldn’t help the guilt taking over her expression as Sunghoon sat down slowly with a slight frown, realization hitting him that she meant Jeno. 
So you were considering Jeno all this time. 
“Trust me when I say it was just a suggestion, she seemed conflicted about it first just… try to talk to her when you can, I promise she’ll listen.”
Well, she lied.
Every chance he took to talk to you never seemed to work out for him, from seeing you in the staff lounge to the storage units and printing stations— you were ignoring him, and he knew that. 
Somehow you always finished lunch when it was his turn to have a break or you managed to print all your paperwork magically when he showed up to the storage units after calculating your routes in between classes. It was hopeless. 
“Coach!” 
“Yeah sorry, um you two not going to tutoring today?” Tapping his fingers on the clipboard, Sunghoon could only watch as Jungwon shook his head with a grin knowing he caught his coach dazing off— again. 
“Nope! Ms.Kim said we’re all good with eligibility.” 
“He’s only asking because he wants to walk us to class again… right Coach Park?” Grabbing Niki by his jersey, Sunghoon couldn’t help but pull him into a headlock as the younger boy laughed at the teasing. He wasn’t sure when kids suddenly became aware of feelings; especially his, but if you asked the boys they would’ve said it was obvious from the way his eyes followed you when you were around. Or the way his head turns immediately at the mention of your name by staff or students.
But if you asked Niki thinks its obvious from the way he always volunteers to walk them to tutoring, your tutoring.
“Sunghoon!” Letting go of Niki he turned to see Jeno greeting him coming in from the outside field with the soccer team. Being the main coaches on campus it was expected the both of them would see each other often— unfortunately for him, as the idea that you were somehow considering on pursuing something with Jeno did not sit well with him. Sending him a nod, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes as the boys greeted their ‘favorite’ math teacher. 
“It’s not that hard to do math you know, I could help the two of you if you need it.” He sighed nonchalantly, crossing his arms as the two scoffed at him chugging their water bottles. “No offense Coach Park but why would we ask you if we have a math teacher who’s willing to tutor us?” Shaking his head Niki walked away leaving Sunghoon gawking, the whistle falling from between his lips as Jungwon shifted on his toes awkwardly. 
“Coach it’s true, plus Mr.Lee is super nice don’t worry! I always see him with Ms.Kim in the morning before class starts— yeah hold up!” Grinning at his teammates he gave Sunghoon one last knowing grin before running off to the others. 
“What do they know about being super nice?” He mumbled, blowing the whistle while motioning towards his assistant coach to go through with another round of cardio. 
It was funny really.
“Do you know today’s date?” Glancing between you working on a few notes and the other teachers talking about their plans for the upcoming school festival, he was grateful for agreeing to participate. Despite being one of the only people in his department to take charge of the role, Sunghoon truly was here to find a chance to talk to you— even if it meant asking for today’s date.
Seeing you weren’t paying much attention to him, he made sure to clear his throat a little louder this time. 
“What’s today’s date?” 
“It’s the twentieth…” Dropping his pen on the table, his jaw clenched hearing Jeno answer instead, his tone slightly annoyed at Sunghoon asking you the same question repreatedly.
“I wasn’t asking you.” He mumbled quietly, causing the latter to roll his eyes as he stated the date for Sunghoon to acknowledge again. 
He didn’t care. 
“What’s today’s date?” Sunghoon asked again, this time directly asking you with a tint of hope in his voice.
“O-oh it’s the twentieth.” You told him with a small smile, going back to answering questions some of the other teachers had about preparation time and supplies. With a successful smug, Sunghoon glanced over at Jeno who shook his head out of bewilderment. 
He found this to be an improvement, hell this was the first thing you’ve said to him since the dinner from over a week ago. “Do you need help with this?” You heard him ask, before you could answer Sunghoon was already grabbing the boxes you were carrying back to the paperwork room. 
“Yeah, you can just leave them here.” You pointed out, an awkward grin on your lips knowing the last time you spoke to him wasn’t the friendliest. 
“Hey I’m sorry about last time, I shouldn’t have blown up on you the way I did so I apologize—”
“No you shouldn’t apologize I sort of antagonized you so I’m the one who should be saying sorry.” He interjected, bringing his hands up in an attempt to stop you from interrupting him with a small huff. 
“Sunghoon I just don’t want us to be fighting anymore, it’s been so long we should both just get over it— I’m ready to forget about it if you are.” thinking it was the best solution you huffed softly seeing Sunghoon slowly nod shoving his hands in his pockets with a slight frown. 
“Is this not what you wanted?” Seeing him slowly bring his gaze up to yours, you released a relieved sigh as he nodded quietly. 
“Yeah I really do Y/N.” With a small smile, you nodded as the sound of other teachers down the hall interrupted the two of you. 
“Great because I’m gonna need a lot of help for the upcoming festival.” You pointed out, standing beside him letting the other staff walk into the room past you with a grin. 
“And I’ll be there to help you, always.” You heard him mumble beside you, heart fluttering lightly as your fingers gripped the fabric of your pants. 
You weren’t sure if your olive branch was going to do much in effort when it came to Sunghoon but— the two of you were now on good terms, really good terms to say. 
Maybe it was the effort of meeting up before or after school to brainstorm ideas for the festival but apart of you felt somewhat displeased. It was stupid really, you were upset when he was too caught up in the past with what happened, but now you were slightly displeased at the fact he was willing to forget everything just like that. 
Complicated— you knew. 
The sudden knock against the wood door made you flinch lightly from your desk as the sight of Sunghoon made you grin. After a few hours of grading papers, you didn’t notice the setting sun and quiet halls. Sunghoon has been coming either before or after school to discuss plans and set up ideas for the festival, when you learned he out of everyone signed up to run his department, a part of you grew in excitement. 
Seeing him at your door right now made you realize that, whether the halls and classes were empty in the bright early mornings or late in the setting sun, part of you felt a bit of self-sorrow. 
It reminded you of the way you were back in college, waiting for each other after classes with exciting smiles and playful hands. If things stayed the way they were, would the two of you have made it this far? Even if the exciting smiles turned into tired ones, and warm hugs replaced the playful ones— you could only leave it up to your imagination.
“Hey.” You whispered, his coming figure making you drop your pen softly. Eyes widening you scoffed as Sunghoon placed a cup of warm coffee on your desk. “I figured you needed a quick coffee break seeing how you’re still working this late.” He sighed, sitting ontop of one of the desk in front of you. 
“You came earlier?” His hum was enough to let you know he did as you were busy in your own world to be bother any further. “Isn’t this the coffee combo I made you before?” Your voice slightly amused as he nodded with a chuckle. 
“Yeah it’s been my go-to since you made me one— I guess you just know exactly what I like.” 
“So I think the class came to a consensus on their final ideas for the festival.” Changing the subject quickly, you failed to realize Sunghoon caught the sight of your eyes wavering, flustered.
“Oh yeah? What did they choose, our class came down to one as well.” Blinking quickly you did your best to remain calm as Sunghoon made his way around your desk beside you, his cologne tickling your nose while trying to ignore the obvious sound of your chair squeaking from scooting back slightly. 
“I-I think they all agreed to do a snack booth.” You replied, focusing your gaze across the room to the lab tables, an attempt to prevent your cheeks from heating up in embarrassment. “The kids chose a photobooth, I think that’s a good combination for our section.” He commented earning a nod from you. 
The feeling of something fluttering against your hair made you to flinch until the calluses of Sunghoon’s fingers caressing a few strands of hair came into view. 
“Stop overworking yourself.” he whispered. 
“I’m not Sunghoon I’m just behind on a few assignments is all.” You reasoned, leaning back into your seat as his fingers continued to play through your loose strands of hair. Being alone for so long, you often forget what it’s like to have someone asking you from time to time to slow down.
But to Sunghoon it was just one of your habits he knew you couldn’t get rid of, meticulous and compassionate to what you put your mind to, that was what he loved about you. But he knew it was important to put a limit on that habit. He knew you didn’t like people critiquing your work style as it was what you were used to— a small detail he noted back when you grew frustrated at the professor for telling you to take a break.
“Okay I believe you.” He sighed in a whisper, fingers still brushing the side of your face before continuing. 
“Just remember to rest from time to time… sleep can’t wait but graded assignments can.” he reasoned making you giggle slightly at how unserious he was with a nod. 
“The kids wanted me to let you know they’re expecting to see you at the game this Friday— especially Niki.” he brought up, leaning an arm against the head of your chair as you looked up at him confused. You haven’t been to any of the school games on campus, to be fair any games really since back in college when you went to support Sunghoon. 
“I think it’ll be important for them that their favorite teacher is there so think about it.” you heard him say, he knew you had a soft spot for the boys and they had one for you.  
And so here you were, after days of debating whether you were going to show up or not, you found yourself standing in your classroom overlooking the line of supporters outside the entrance to the gym. 
The moment you step foot onto the court, you noticed the home side of the bleachers were lined with hand-painted posters and school-colored streamers hanging from the ceiling of the gym, visible around the poles of the bleachers and floor of the gym. The loud cheering from the student section and low percussion from the band brought a smile to your face, it felt familiar yet so unfamiliar.
“Ms. Kim?” Smiling at the flushed boy you waved at him as he called over for the taller one with a grin. 
“You made it! I didn’t think you were coming,” Niki exclaimed with a towel wrapped around his neck. 
“Of course I came! You know I have some basketball knowledge up my sleeve.” you winked as two of them laughed feeling you pat them on the shoulder in encouragement. You recognized many students from class and coworkers with anticipating expressions, being one of the biggest games this season the energy was high, high in excitement and pressure. 
Trailing your eyes across the gym, it was a surprise to see so many people from the enemy team seated on the opposite side, school colors contrasting against each other as the tension grew on the court. Before you knew it, a grin ghosted on your face as your wondering gaze paused on Sunghoon; dressed in his suit with his clipboard in hand and a pen in the other. His brows were pulled into a frown behind his styled locks looking across the court to the other coach with a scowl, typical competitive Sunghoon.
You didn’t know what but something made you nervous, maybe it was because haven’t been in this type of environment in so long? Or maybe you were feeling the the stress from all the players on the sideline.
The moment his eyes met yours, it was like seeing him for the first time again at his game. 
Nostalgia, you were nervous because you knew coming here would’ve made you reminisce on all the good times you had with him those years ago. 
You were shown nostalgia was the hearts way of reminding you of what you once loved, what you once cherished. It wasn’t like someone told you, you learned to acknowledge it over the years. 
Through your favorite song that oftened played on the radio station you two enjoyed, Goodnight Radio. Photos and scents… nostalgia seemed to have always traveled to you, leaving a bittersweet feeling as sometimes happy memories make you sad–- despite the intended meaning of those words.
You gave him a shy smile, Sunghoon’s grin widening as he nodded in acknowledgement ignoring the looks of Niki and Jungwon glancing between you two. Finding your seat amongst the students, you were happy most of them greeted you with enthusiasm, partly shocked to see you here in the first place. 
“I’m surprised to see you here. Not really since I knew you’d come.” Sunghoon called out to you from the benches, yelling over the loud crowd in excitement as the band performance was coming to an end. You knew how important this was for Sunghoon, coming from a background where he was once in their position— this was a big game for him. 
Sure, you knew it would reflect on him as this was his first game as the coach, but you knew how important it was to him to win, for the team and for himself. 
“And who would I be not coming to support my students?” You yelled back, his smirk widening as he flung his clipboard towards the assistant coach who flinched, you figured he’d be used to that by now. His cheeky grin complimented his smiling eyes and it made you realize this was were Sunghoon belonged, on the court where he always called home.
As the game continued, you knew it was going to be an even game— with the team leading alongside a new coach, it was expected for a few mistake calls here and there. But being against a long time rival defending their wining title, everyone was tense throughout the first half. With the crowd growing weary you could see the stress seeping through Sunghoons stern expression. 
You couldn’t help but dismay your feelings aside noting Sunghoon motioning Niki in with a frown, he’s been missing all his shots and making many out of play moves costing the team points and fouls. Flopping on the bench, the boy was told to calm down by Sunghoon who went back to strategizing with the team with a tight frown on his face. 
With his head hung low and chest heaving— you stood up making your way down to the benches, away from the rest of the team where Niki was sitting.
“Niki.” Whispering to him, you heart melted seeing his upset expression under the towel draped around his head. He reminded you a lot of your brother back then, passionate and driven by the game but also very emotional in the heat of the moment; that could lead to some bumps in the road— you knew better than anyone growing up with it. 
“Ms. Kim I keep messing it up for the team.” You heard him groan, his fingers tightly intertwined trying to blur out the loud crowd from all around. 
“It’s not just your fault Niki, like you said it’s a team… you win as a team you lose as a team—and you mess up as a team.” Nodding slowly you grinned seeing him losen the tight grip on his fingers.  
“You know Sunghoon only benched you because you were getting upset, not because you’re bad. The last thing he wants is for you to put the blame all on yourself….but he shouldn’t have made that three pointer call if you want to point fingers.” You chuckled, grateful to see his smile again despite the sweat lining his hair. You noted the way his eyes flickered back to the group of players— huddled together as Sunghoon was desperately trying to keep his team together. 
____________
“You guys we can still win the game we just need to calm down and rethink our strats.” Sunghoon couldn’t help but feel anxious at the sight of the scoreboard before them, they were ten points down and one of his best players is sitting out for the rest of the quarter for his own sake. He knew how they felt, the pressure to perform well and to win against one of the biggest rivals this year, he saw himself in many of the players on his team.
But instead of forcing them to go through the burden and anger he grew familiar with, he knew it was the right thing to do seeing how upset Niki was getting both on and off the court. 
“Coach we need Niki— he’s usually the one leading all the plays down the court, it’s gonna be hard to get past their defense.” Jungwon breathlessly stated. 
“ I know but I’m not gonna force him to play when he’s spiraling, we’re just gonna have to play around not having him in the formation.” From his peripheral, his eyes caught your figure rushing back into the crowd— sitting amongst the other students and supporters with a heartfelt expression.
“Coach Park!” 
Seeing Niki rush over, he was surprised to see a smile plastered across his flushed face. 
“I can play Coach, I’m good.” despite his reassurance Sunghoon was still skeptical noting he wasn’t this spirited a few minutes ago. “Niki I’m not sure if—”
“Coach I didn’t come to play today just to lose.” he made sure to emphasize, and it all clicked for him— a familiar phrase that rang in his ear like bells. 
‘I didn’t come just to see you lose.’ 
It was a joke you’ve always said to him before his games to shake the nerves off his shoulders, even through the wins and losses he knew you were there to support him regardless of the results, and a part of him missed that. It was just something that ticked his heart a bit from the memories.
Bringing his gaze to yours, despite the rather obvious intent to look away— you knew Sunghoon understood your intent; he needed to give Niki the reassurance you gave him.
“Okay, I believe in you but you gotta believe in yourself kid—all of you do.” grinning at the team, Sunghoon felt relieved to see everyone jump in excitement despite the fatigue that overtook their faces not long before this. With less than a quarter left, he knew this was the last push both physically and mentally for the boys— with the whistle blowing the sound of the crowd grew both in excitement once again.
Niki was in a whole different state of mind compared to before the timeout, with both him and Jungwon finally on the same page; gaining points back was easy. However, with the other team being the best of the best, the score was still close— too close. With the clock ticking down and the difference being two points, either the team had to score a three-pointer or prevent the rival team from tieing.
“Niki go, run!” you suddenly exclaimed, ignoring the looks from those around as you could see the thoughts running through his mind faster than his feet were. With his fingers gripping the ball, you could feel your own gripping your pants. This was it. The adrenaline, the rush, the quick silence as everyone held their breath down to the last millisecond.
This was what you missed. 
A wide smile made its way to your face, seeing Niki and Jungwon jumping in both happiness and exhaustion as the students ran to the court to celebrate with them— you could only smile. 
They won, despite being the underdogs; they won fair and square. Nodding in satisfaction, you gave both of them a proud thumbs up as the both of them kept waving towards you in the crowd. If you were a little younger you would’ve found yourself down there with them.
But despite the happy occasion, it felt bittersweet. You were happy, so happy for the team but you didn’t want the neglected feelings you’ve tried so hard to push away overtake the joyousness you should be feeling. 
What should you be feeling? 
What were you feeling?
“Y/N!” Turning towards a familiar voice, your heart shunk realizing why the dread you’ve been feeling for the past couple weeks have been eating you up inside. 
“We did it! They did it.” Sunghoon grinned down towards you in joy. 
You noticed it that one evening— you could still see the Sunghoon you met in college, filled with drive and passion both in basketball and life. He wanted to do a lot of things, visit a lot of places, and accomplish a lot of things. You’ve never admitted it but, it tore you up inside wondering if he ever wanted you to be a part of that.
Has he been well since then?
Did he still think of you the way you thought of him?
Were over-easy eggs with a pinch of salt and garlic still his favorite?
What you and he had, is it gone— forever? You never admitted it, but he always lingered in the back of your mind without effort.
“What’s wrong?” You heard him ask you, shaking your head you held back a small cry trying to pass it off as being emotional for the boys. Your response was hushed out by the loud crowd while your eyes trailed to focus on something else other than Sunghoon who recongized that small glint in your gaze.
“Well I think we can thank you for talking some sense into Niki.” he blurted out, making you shake your head in defiance still admiring the confetti falling from above with a small smile. Sunghoon couldn’t help but admire the way your glossy eyes shimmered from the silver confetti falling above, they looked like the stars he used name in his head while stargazing with you on the campus lawn. 
“I owe you one— after this actually if that’s okay.” 
What you didn’t expect was Sunghoon secretly picking you up after the game behind the school. With kids celebrating in the main parking lot and on the field, the last thing you wanted was for a rumor to start about the science teacher and coach leaving with each other after the game. 
“Sorry did you wait long?” he whispered unlocking the door for you, shaking your head with a chuckle you slid in leaving your things in the backseat swiftly. 
“Are you picking a place to eat this time?” you grinned softly, his laugh echoing lightly throughout the car as he quickly pulled out of the parking lot passing by familiar faces you’ve seen in the halls. 
“Well it wouldn’t be much of a treat if you did all the work— did anyone see you?” He asked, eyeing you from his peripheral with a finger tapping the wheel. 
“No only a few teachers left through the back but other than that just Jeno.” you hummed. 
“Jeno?” he whispered, grip tightening on the wheel slightly making you bite back a grin unconsciously. “Mhm, he even asked if I needed any help going to where I needed to go.” you sighed nonchalantly, his occasional glances turning into full head turns— waiting for you to continue. 
“Did you tell him you were taking the bus?” His perplexed tone makes you giggle slightly as you continue to admire the colorful lights blending outside of the window. Sunghoon could feel himself breaking out in a cold sweat waiting for your response, with your head turned the other way he wasn’t sure what to think.
“Nope I told him I was going with you,” A smile broke across his face after realization hit him that you had no problem telling Jeno who you were with, and it was with him— silly he figured but it made his ego swell and cheeks heat. 
“Hey eyes on the road sir.” You playfully reminded him, pushing a finger into his dimple softly causing him to clear his throat in embarrassment —coughing nonchalantly to hide his giddiness.
After pulling into the destination, Sunghoon held a hand out to grab as you confusingly looked at him and then the empty parking lot you were standing in. 
“I was planning on taking you to a nice restaurant worth half of my paycheck but I figured you would’ve liked this a lot better.” he grinned cheekily, closing the trunk with a bag of take-out in one hand and alcohol in the other. Leading you up the stairs, your eyes widened slightly taking in the bright city skyline and busy traffic. 
“It’s not the prettiest but I think it’s still pretty.” He sighed, straightening a small towel he took from the locker room on one of the cemented platforms for you to sit on. 
“No Sunghoon it’s beautiful.” You whispered in a hush, leaning against the cemented edge with your elbows admiring the breeze from this high up, “Seriously.” you weren’t sure why but the view brought a content smile to your lips, after working nonstop for quite a while— you sometimes forget you step back and enjoy the moment. You learned to find the small and ordinary things beautiful, the lining car lights twinkling in the distance to the cicadas singing in the breeze.
Things will continue on in the world whether you comply to that idea or not, and it’s okay.
After perfecting his set up Sunghoon was glad you weren’t too picky about the setting, but you never were. Seeing you stare out to the view in fascination was a reason why he loved experiencing new things with you, not only was he getting to experience something new— but he was able to see you do as well. He loved it. 
“Yeah— it really is beautiful.” He repeated, your head turning at his agreeance only to see his gaze on you. The tip of his nose slightly red from the cold while his eyes were filled with solace as he looked down at you. 
Your heart was doing that thing again…. 
“Um, so did you decide on takeout? How’d you find the place?” You managed to let out, walking towards the small setup Sunghoon laid out as he rushed over to make sure the towel was still flat for you to sit on. “Y-yeah the boys said it was pretty good so I thought maybe we should try it.” He explained, motioning towards the pack of beer that you excitedly opened up. 
“The boys did?” kids were trendy these days and that could mean one of two things— it was gonna be really good, or just really hyped up. Surprisingly it was pretty good, Sunghoon could be a picky eater from what you remember but he was fully enjoying himself—that could also be from the alcohol. 
By now you were a few shots in, a couple of beer cans opened and a whole box of fried chicken finished. With the cold breeze brushing against your hot cheeks you couldn’t help but glance at Sunghoon from time to time secretly. His styled hair was now messed up slightly from the wind and his cheeks were slightly flushed from the alcohol. 
“Sunghoon.” You softly called out, eyes slightly hazed from the can of beer you chugged down wondering if this was a good idea to talk unsober. His low hum sent shivers down your spine as you stared off in the distance towards the twinkling city lights. 
Sunghoon was buzzed, he knew he needed to sober up soon to take you home but the thought of you next to him somehow made him anxious— leading to one too many shots. 
Maybe it was the way you were picking at the empty can between your fingers, or the blank stare off in the distance; he couldn’t tell what you were thinking and it made him wonder. Your somehow sad expression when he found you after the game made him realize one thing, with this time apart he didn’t know how you’ve been at all. 
Were you and your mom still on bad terms? You’ve confided to him one night after he found you crying to yourself when you thought he was asleep, despite how well and proud you presented yourself at school; you never felt good enough which broke his heart. You were sensitive, he knew that— a person who’d rather show off only your happy and good sides despite how polar opposite you might’ve felt.
“Do you regret it?” your small voice broke his thoughts, Sunghoon wasn’t sure if he heard right, the feeling of his heart suddenly dropping along with your solemn expression showed him you were speaking as yourself right now, not as the respective Ms.Kim, not YN from college but you right now in the moment. 
“Regret what?”
With a shaky sigh, you shook your head trying to mask the slight tremor in your voice. 
“I-I don’t know, everything?” You managed to let out, despite everything that happened, you had more good memories to grieve over than the bad—hardly any. Sunghoon was quiet for a while, and it made the thoughts in your mind run for miles wondering why. 
Maybe he did regret it. 
With your mouth gaping slightly the words ‘forget it-–it’s a stupid question’ were at the tip of your tongue. But a part of you knew it wasn’t stupid, it was just closure. 
“You know sometimes I think about it.” He sighed, his voice low from the unexpected question. 
“Just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean you weren’t one of the best things that happened to me Y/N.” you unknowingly let out a shaky sigh, of relief? Content? You were happy to confirm what Sunghoon felt wasn’t a silly fling you tried to convince yourself he saw you as.
Acceptance? With the words ‘we didn’t work out’ solidifying your long-time question of what happened, you were somehow at the same time struggling to accept that this was how things happened. 
We just didn’t work out, despite for how bad you wanted things to— they didn’t.
“Me too—” it was the alcohol. Had to be the alcohol from the way your eyes found his, looking at you with a besotted gaze as warm as the feeling pitting inside. 
“You were mine too.” 
Unable to process what happened next, all you could feel was Sunghoon’s nose brushing against yours while your eyes fluttered on their own. 
His fingertips brushing through your hair and against your jaw had you gasping slightly— had to be the alcohol. The feeling of warmth radiating off his lips had your heart ticking to death, lips so soft you could remember your first shared kiss with Sunghoon under your covers that one night.
His blazer that was on your lap was slipping as the feeling of his chest brushing against yours made you melt inside— it most definitely the alcohol. 
“I regret it.” Your eyes immediately widened, freezing in place not understanding the meaning behind the sudden change in his answer. 
“Fuck I regret it so much Y/N.” he pulled away, running a hand through his locks as your hand slowly falls down on your lap, heart beating loudly from the mix of liquor and your emotions. 
“But you just said you didn’t…” you couldn’t help but notice your voice coming out softly from shock and fear— fear of your worst nightmare coming true. You didn’t realize but a small drop of sadness touched the palm of your hand, a tear. Sunghoon immediately cupped your cheeks whipping them away despite you telling him to let go. 
“No Y/N I meant I regret not reaching out to you after that night at the stupid party— I fucked up.” Your brows furrowed slightly not understanding his confession. 
“I accidentally ran into Naeun a while ago and she told me, everything.” he emphasized, bringing the blazer that was no longer near you back to your lap in a hurry. 
“I was stupid, I was lost, and I ruined everything.” he softly told you, his eyes downcasted towards your hands with remnants of tears that you collected in the past minutes. 
“Did you know her?” his questioning gaze led you to clarify the question further. 
“Did you know the girl you left with that night?” You whispered, playing with your fingers while the wind blew through your hair across your tear-stained skin.  
“What? No Y/N there was no girl… there was never another girl—ever.” He emphasized, turning to you quickly brushing your cheek with his thumb. “I just went outside to see if my friend left and went around the block a few times before talking to Jay…” he explained, hoping you remembered his college friends from that night that could vouch for him. 
Glancing towards Sunghoon your brows furrowed slightly trying to connect the dots, with his soft gaze taking in your reaction you immediately turned to face him as well. 
“And when I came back you were together with Kyungmin—” he cursed slightly his eyes looking into the distance with his brows pulled together. The name was unfamiliar, but you exactly who he was talking about.
“Sunghoon no— I” you denied, shaking your head expressing that you certainly weren’t together with Kyungmin. 
“I know.” he muffled, taking your hand in his before pulling to sit close, the heat from his arm radiating off onto you slightly making it painfully obvious about how close he was to you. Chewing the inside of your cheek, the urge to tell him that you missed him fell at the tip of your tongue—much to your surprise he beat you to it. Bringing your enclasped hands together, a small peck was placed in the center of your dorsal palm, your skin burning with butterflies as a small smile made it’s way to your lips. 
“I missed you so much.” He whispered, his eyes meeting yours filled with solace and sorrow— the moonlight perfectly highlighting the tip of his nose and the darkness of his pupils. 
“I missed you too Hoon.” your small voice making him sigh into your palm almost in content. 
“Missed you too much.” You added seeing his gaze travel across your face made your throat tighten— breathing hitched as the pink of his cheeks and the deep color of his lips became more visible with each passing second.
No matter what happened you realized after meeting Sunghoon again after all these years— you will always find your way back to eachother, back to the person who was meant to have your heart. That’s just how things worked for the both of you.
Two souls such as yourself don’t find eachother by accident or coincidence. 
You could say goodbye to everyone else but not Sunghoon, never Sunghoon. Not when his brown eyes were gazing like you owned his world. His lips pecking your cheek softly as you felt your heart burst in love and jolity.                           
And that feeling of love and jolity continued with each moment of intimacy shared between you two after that night. The secret kisses under the blanket at your condo as he stays the night after only wanting to drop you off after work— to the secret kisses inbetween classes behind the printer in the faculty room and underneath your lab tables.
His slender pinky that would hook onto yours underneath the table during faculty meeting were your favorite, it was quit obvious by the smile ghosting on your lips absentmindedly while Sunghoon swung your intertwined pinkies across his lap. With the festival coming up soon, alot of these sweet moments were limited as the both of you not only had the ending semester work to complete but also responsibilities with the school festival.
But Sunghoon never failed to call you after work, whether you were preparing dinner or getting ready for bed; the chime of your ringtone always brought a smile to your tired expression. 
“Ms.Kim where do you want us to place these chairs?” Twirling the pen between your fingers you motioned for your students to carry the stack of chairs towards the otherside of the court yard. With the festival happening later tonight there were still plenty of tasked to be done and last minute details to perfect before you could call it a day. When hours became one, you were basically running around campus like a crazed chicken to find the missing signs that were needed to complete your photobooth stand.
“Shoot where the hell did I place the signs.” you mumbled, swiftly going to your class that was filled with supplies and crafts done by the students. It was a festive time for the students, exams were over and the holidays were coming up; with the new year came new things to look forward to and the festival was the cherry on top.
“Ow!” You cursed, holding onto your knee that accidentally bumped one of the desk as you rushed to the missing signs that you were looking for. 
“Y/N?” Your eyes instantly darted towards the door seeing an equally disheveled Sunghoon with a box of snacks by his foot, you figured he came up to the class to get supplies as well. 
“Hoon!” you exclaimed softly, getting up from your position noting that despite looking disheveled— Sunghoon was still so handsome. 
“That’s gonna leave a bruise.” he snickered, eyeing the size of your christmas sweater the two of you decided to secretly match with. The memory alone made him smile, the one you initially wanted was out of stock and the next option was two times the size of what you would usually buy. But you looked adorable; slightly flushed from running around, hair was pushed behind the backs of your ears by the headband you were wearing.
“My little reindeer is so cute.” he cheesed, poking your antlers as you looked up to him with a sparkling glimmer in your eyes. Feeling him pull you into his embrace, your arms immediately circled around his wasit, face buried into the wool of his santa sweater as you felt him kiss the top of your crown, whispering a small I missed you inbetween kisses that eventually landed around your face. 
“Everyone did a pretty good job setting up for the festival.” You hummed, looking outside of the window at the twinkling colored lights from down below and the line of people waiting for the festival to begin. 
“Well if it wasn’t for you always on our asses–”
“Sunghoon!” You exclaimed softly, pushing him away as he apologized with a chuckle—reaching to pull you back into his embrace. With your arms leaning against the window, you couldn’t help but smile in silence, silence that was no more filled with pain or acted like a void, it was silence of appreciation. 
“This is kind of familiar don’t you think?” you heard him say beside you, his elbow slightly touching yours against the window as the two of you looked off into the courtyard, a small giggle leaving your lips as he made fun of Jeno for tripping over a few boxes from behind.
Looking up you realized what he meant from his comment as your smile softened at the warm twinkling bulb lights you decorated along the upper rim of your windows.
“Yeah instead this time Jake won’t interrupt us right?” You teased feeling him wrap an arm around your frame trapping you against the window. Leaning down he hummed a thought, his warm breath tickling the apples of your cheeks— the flashes of his friend interrupting his first kiss with you making him chuckle from the thought alone.
“I don’t know wanna try?” Slapping his chest lightly, you couldn’t help but look away shyly, bitting the bottom of your lip at how flustered he was able to make you. Using his free hand, Sunghoon brought your face to look at his again, his fingers tracing the lines of your features while his eyes took in every inch of your face. The two of you gazed at each other again in silence, not saying anything; but it was the kind of nothing that meant and told you all you needed to know once again. 
Sunghoon had a place in your heart you knew was always going to be there. 
“Ms.Kim WOAH–”
Niki.
Pushing Sunghoon away with all your might, you couldn’t help but apologize softly at his taken aback expression as his stumbled back against the lab tables. Clearing his throat as Jungwon and Niki both came rushing in with other students who seemed to have caught the two of you by the window. 
“Y-you were looking for these right? I found them lets go!” grabbing the posters you couldn’t help but curse as the students began talking over you, understanding the situation a little more as Sunghoon smuggly grinned not denying any of the accusations, rubbing the nape of his neck as he took in your flustered expression. 
“Okay okay, I hope everyone here can keep a secret right?” he announced gaining everyone’s attention. Small sounds of disbelief and annoyance echoed throughout the quiet classroom, some of them scoffing at the idea of keep this big of a secret while others were still in shock about their two favorite teachers caught almost kissing.
“If you do I’ll sneak everyone here a breakfast sandwhich for the first day of school after winter break.” he sighed in defeat, grinning in relief as everyone collectively cheered and agreed as one. You quickly told everyone to go down towards the courtyard, as the lines of people began to fill going towards different booths and activities.
“And make sure no one finds out! Actually you can tell Coach Lee I don’t really care.” Sunghoon stated, earning a few chuckles from the students and a glare from you. Shoving the posters towards Jungwon, his dimple came into view as his fond eyes traveled between the you and Sunghoon; a small ‘your secret is safe with me’ making you grin halfheartedly. 
While the room grew quiet, you couldn’t help but snicker slightly as Niki came running back, passing Sunghoon a poster you assumed was a draft or one that was messed up before it was finished. The two of you stood there looking at each other knowing you were caught red handed by your students, gosh this was bad if the board found out. You couldn’t help but notice his grin brightening as you began to freak out at the fact you and Sunghoon almost made out in front of your own kids. 
You were getting fired. Demoted at best, but most definitely fired. This would ruin all the plans you had lining up for your career— THIS was gonna ruin your reputation and—
“Y/N.” pausing mid rant you looked at him and couldn’t help the warmth that spread throughout your chest as your shoulders relaxed almost immediately. 
Of course Niki gave him that one specifically. The cutout poster that had a mistletoe drawn just above his head, small hearts and snowflakes lining the borders with the words ‘I like you, from my head to my mistleTOE’ written on the bottom. Your laugh echoing through the class as Sunghoon quickly embraced you placing kisses around your face. 
In moments like this is when you realized you were grateful for Sunghoon in more ways than one. When you picture yourself being happy, there are many things that come to mind. Traveling the world to places that have always been on your bucketlist, learning how to cook michelin star dishes that you’ve had at restaurants, you wanted to raise a puppy on your own and even thought about going back to school to get your doctoral degree in science. 
Those were all things you want to do, things you wanted to do with Sunghoon. You weren’t going to make him your sole reason of happiness that’s a little silly, but you smiled more when you were with him, and you realized he understood you more than anyone else has. He made your ordinary moments feel magical and was the kind of person who pushes you to be better, he was your best friend.
In between kisses and embraces Sunghoon never failed to let you know he loved you both in tone and in silence, and he never failed to show you a different side of living that was of course filled with love.
Because that was just who Sunghoon was, someone filled — With Love.
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number1jeonginstan · 4 months
Text
Always been there 🏡
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pairing: the boy next door!Chan x afab!reader
warnings: alcohol, swearing, kissing, smut, some fluff too!
word count: 7.1k (wow.)
18+ Minors DNI
A/N: This took so long to get out, and I'm still not confident in it, I feel like it's kinda lame ngl. I don't know, I just feel like my writing hasn't been improving, but I can't expect to be a god-send after only writing for 4 months... Thank you so much for @quokkawritesarchive for looking at my draft for this, I truly appreciate it <3 I hope you guys like it!
smut warnings below the cut:
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smut warnings: unprotected sex (please don't!), fingering, oral (fem receiving), consensual kissing, some nipple play, slight edging, male masturbation, cumming inside
You and Chris have been friends since you both were 5 and you moved into his neighborhood. Their parents had slowly become close friends with yours and invited your family over to their house for dinner. That was the first time you had ever met Chris.
You were hidden behind your parents, too scared to say anything. In front of you was a boy wearing a striped shirt and a grin. He ran up to you “Hi! My name is Chan” he grinned at you. Your parents forced you to say hi back, which you reluctantly did.
“Hi,” you said, still a bit scared. “What’s your name?” he asked, still excited. “It’s y/n” you whispered, still a bit afraid of him. “That’s such a pretty name!” he grinned at you. 
Since they, you both were inseparable. Your parents thought it was cute, the both of you being so inseparable. When you guys were younger, you would have sleepovers in each other’s rooms. Your favorite one was when you both created a fort in your room and had Tim Tam slams, causing a mess all over the blankets, but it was so worth it.
As time went on, your parents didn’t let you have sleepovers, so instead you two bought walkie-talkies. Since both of your windows faced each other, whenever you wanted to talk, you would just flash a flashlight through the other’s window to signal each other to turn on their walkie-talkies. Your parents thought it was adorable, but you guys felt like spies on an undercover mission. 
As you guys ventured onto middle school, Chan was participating a lot in swimming, wanting to fill in his father’s footsteps while you really got into art and painting. While he was always in the pool, you were always in your art studio working with different mediums trying to make something new. 
You remember one specific day that you started working with clay, wanting to make a little wolf, because Chris reminded you of one, and he had come into the art room after swim practice. 
“You are dripping wet” you groaned as Chan shook his head, causing water to spray everywhere. “You are no better than a wet dog.” you groaned, trying to hide your clay figure from his prying eyes. 
“What’s up?” you asked him, taking a bit of the fruit that you had laid out while working. He stole a grape, popping it into his mouth. “I think I want to start pursuing music,” he said with an affirmative smile.
“That’s great Chan, I’m so excited for you!” you gleaned. “Yeah, I started picking up the guitar and vocal lessons, it’s been fun.” 
“Channie, I’m so happy for you! Don’t forget about me when you get famous” you giggled. He ran over to you, trying to hug you. “I swear to god, you are still soaking wet, you are not about to hug me, or so help me.” 
That didn’t stop him, he gave you a big squeeze, making your clothes damp and smell like chlorine. You felt the need to retaliate, throwing paint at him. It caused a game of cat and mouse to occur, you both chasing each other, until your art teacher came in putting an end to it. She yelled at both of you for acting so childish, but as soon as she left, the both of you erupted in a fit of laughter. 
Laughing with Chris had always been so freeing to you. His laugh was infectious, and no matter where you were or what you were doing, it always spread onto you, As you both left the studio, you both ran to your mom’s car. “Y/N!” she yelled, startling you “Did you throw paint on Chan here?” 
You and Chan just look at at each other, losing it and laughing again, causing your mom to laugh too. 
It was the end of Year 8 and you and Chris were on the beach, enjoying the view. “I don’t know why we have to go to high school” you groaned, licking the popsicle in your hand. “We have to grow, plus, high school girls are hot.” He took your popsicle from your hand, sucking on it. “Gross Chris, you are too short for any high school girls anyway.” you giggled, stealing your popsicle back. 
“Really?” he said starting to get up, you knew what was going to happen. You quickly got up, not having time to brush the sand off your clothes as you tried running away. “Come back here!” he yelled, causing you to giggle. 
Before you could get out of your arm's reach, he caught you, picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. “What’s next, are you going to call me weak too?” he just laughed. “Put me down Christopher Bhang Chan,” you said while hitting his back with your hands. “Wow, the full legal name, don’t you think that’s a bit too much?” 
Before you could say anything, he threw you into the ocean, laughing in your face. “Oh, you are so done for!” Before he could react to what you had just said, you dragged him into the ocean with you, laughing at his shocked expression. You began splashing water on him, causing you both to have a water fight. 
You never wanted this day to end, thankful that he was always by your side. 
As you both finally ventured back to the beach, you told him to close his eyes. “What are you going to do? Because if you throw me back into the ocean, I’ll drown you so help me god.” 
“Will you just shut up and open your hands?” you groaned, pulling out the little wolf charm you had made him, and placing it gently in his hands. “You can open your eyes now.” 
He opened his eyes, looking down at his hands and grinning. “Omg, I love it, is this supposed to be me as a wolf? It’s so cute, you are so cute for thinking about me.” 
You just grinned, happy that Chan really loved the little trinket you made him. “I also have something for you, it’s not that well thought out, but you know how I started learning the guitar?”
You just nodded, not sure where he was going with it. “Well, I got this little gift for you, it’s nothing much, but it’s my first pick on a necklace for you, just to remember how you supported me through everything.” 
“Channie, I love it, I’m never going to take it off.” You turned around, the back of your neck facing him, “Can you put it on me please?” and he did so. You felt his still-damp hands run along your neck, tying the necklace. You turned around hugging him, “I’m never going to take this off” You grinned at him 
“Promise we will always be like this?” he asked. 
“I promise”
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It was the summer of your sophomore year of college, and you and Chris had grown apart. You both still occasionally talked, but it was nothing like before. You never took off the necklace he gave you though, still trying to uphold your promise. It had become a part of you, knowing that, although the both of you didn’t talk, you still had each other's side, hopefully. 
You were in two different crowds, Chan started taking his music much more seriously, while you were known as a goodie two shoes because you got good grades. It was because you guys went to a small high school, and unlike the rest of the people in your grade, you and your friends never found an appeal in drinking and getting high. That didn’t make you nerds, did it?
Your group consisted of Felix, your closest friend after he helped when you tripped and fell in front of the entirety of your homeroom class freshman year. He had extra pokèmon bandaids and helped fix the scrapes on your legs. Since then, you both are always next to each other, stuck to one another like glue.
The next was Seungmin, you guys had met sophomore year of high school, after you accidentally dropped a book on his head in the library. In your defense, you didn’t know that he was on the other side of the shelf. You ran to him apologizing, and from then on began talking since the both of you had a lot in common. With Seungmin came Jeongin. The two of them were like peas in a pod before meeting you, and nothing could separate them. 
Jeongin was a year younger than the three of you, but he fit in perfectly. His older brother, Hyunjin, was part of Chris’s group. Chris was already popular due to him being on the swim team and constantly winning awards, the icing on the cake was when he started creating music in a group called 3racha. They got especially popular in your freshman year of college. 
“Hey, what do you think about attending a party this weekend?” Seungmin asked. You were both home for summer break, you guys were playing Super Smash Bros in your room while Felix was downstairs getting snacks from your kitchen. 
“Seungmin, are you sick? You out of all people want to go to a party?” you asked, taking a sip of your water. “Where are we going?” Felix asked, placing a bowl of grapes on your bed. “Jeongin’s house this weekend, his parents are out of town and Hyunjin’s hosting a party,” he said, popping a grape in his mouth. 
“We should go, it would be fun” Felix grinned, grabbing the controller from Seungmin’s hands. “You know what, it would be. We could pregame at mine because my parents are still on their anniversary vacation” Your parents decided to treat themselves for their 30th anniversary and you were happy to have the house to yourself for a month. 
“Okay, works with me!” Seungmin said before looking out your window to be met with a shirtless Chan. “Damn, that’s why you decided to keep your curtains open” he laughed. You looked up confused only to see Chan. Your face flushed a bright red as you ran over to shut your curtains. 
“Aw, no need to be shy, he literally has the abs of a god,” Felix said looking down at his own stomach “Maybe I should ask him for some tips?” Before you could even say anything, Felix ran to your window, opening the curtains and window and screaming through the panel. “Hey, Chan!” he yelled, causing Chan to look up, a bit puzzled, and open his own window to hear him clearly. 
“Can you start taking me to the gym, I need your abs!” 
You could hear Chan’s laugh clear as day like it hadn’t been almost 4 years since you last heard it. “Yeah, dude! I’ll give you my number, one sec come outside”
Felix ran out of your room, opening the front door to meet up with Chan. “Do you think he did that just to get close to Changbin?” Seungmin questioned out loud.
That caused you to giggle out loud. Felix had been obsessed with Changbin since sophomore year when he started to get buff. It wasn’t a crush, but more like admiration for Felix. He just thought he was cool, but was too shy to befriend him even with his outgoing personality. 
“This is all your fault Minnie” you said pinching his cheeks, causing him to roll his eyes at you. 
“Shit, I have to go pick up my older sister from work, pre-game at your house tomorrow at 9?” he asked running out of your room, almost tripping trying to put on his shoes. “You are bringing the alcohol this time!” you yelled at the door as he ran out. 
You decided to lie down on your bed and scroll on your phone while you waited for Felix to come back only to get a text from him 
Brownie Boy!
What if I told you, I’m already at the gym with Chan…
You
I’m not even surprised…
You groaned, deciding to watch random YouTube videos on your laptop til you passed out since you had nothing else to do. 
Three hours had passed and you had gone down a deep dive of paranormal videos. It was only 11:30 at night and you knew that you had to get up, but you were so scared. You kept hearing noises from downstairs, trying not to think much of it, you were still freaked out. 
The best course of action would be to change into your pajamas and sleep and pray that there were no ghosts in your room. You were too scared to even leave your room so you decided to change, right there, in the middle. What you forgot was that your window was still open, and Chan had gotten home from the gym. 
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He had just gotten out of the shower, a towel on his waist, and his hair still a bit wet. He looked up to see his window still open, going to close it, he saw you. You were in just a bra and panties bending over to put on your tiny sleep shorts from freshman year of high school. He groaned watching you pull them over your ass. 
You slowly unclasped your bra, the side of your tits on display for him as you pulled a camisole over your head covering your body. The necklace he had given you at the end of 8th grade lying between the valley of your breasts. He wished he had taken a picture, but before you could turn around to see your window still open, he quickly closed his curtains. 
He lay on his bed, having the picture of you bent over engraved in his mind as he unraveled the towel from his waist. His already semi-hard cock resting against his thigh. He began to pump his hand around his cock, taking the pre-cum that was escaping from the tip of it and spreading it against his head. 
He groaned thinking about you, his childhood best friend, wearing the necklace he gave you. He had claimed you as his, but you never noticed. Too oblivious to what he was trying to tell you. That was why he tried to move on in his sophomore year, trying to date any girl he could, but he could only think about you. 
Your innocent eyes and willingness to help anyone and everyone. Are you still innocent or did you let another man put their dick in your sweet cunt. He groaned at the thought of your moans, how you would sound as he put his cock into you. How you would look with the necklace he gave you bouncing between your tits. You were such a good girl, but he wanted to ruin you and make you his. 
He continued to stroke his cock faster at the thought of that. How good your tits would look covered in his cum. Would you suck his cock like a good girl? Would you let him cum inside of you or would you beg to take it in your mouth? 
That was all Chan needed to cum into the palm of his hands. Fuck, he needed to shower again. He was back under the hot water, trying to calm himself down from his orgasm as he thought about you.  After going to the gym with Felix today, he found out he wasn’t a threat. You and Felix were just friends, the same went for Seungmin. You thought of them as brothers and nothing more. 
Do you still think about him? He knew that he stopped talking to you in 10th grade, but you stopped talking to him too, it wasn’t all him, was it? 
He got into bed, boxers on in case anything happened, and stared at his ceiling thinking about you. If he had one more chance, he would take it. 
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You were getting ready at home while Seungmin and Felix were on your bed scrolling through their phones. “Oh Lix, how was your gym session with Chan?” Seungmin asked, turning on your bed to face him. 
“It went good, but that dude doesn’t rest, like damn I felt like I was dying after our third set” he groaned, tossing his phone to the other side of your bed to pay attention to you.
He got up and came behind you, fixing your hair a bit as you were applying a coat of mascara to finish your look. “You look good, trying to get someone’s attention in particular?” he giggled before pinching your cheeks. 
You just rolled your eyes at him as Seungmin finally looked up from his phone. “Wow, you don’t look like a slob for once” You threw one of your brushes at his face, causing a quick “Hey!” to escape from him. 
You had finally finished getting ready, wearing a cute mini-skirt and a plain black top. You didn’t want to be too extra, but your outfit was cute and simple, just how you liked it, especially knowing how crazy Hyunjin’s parties get, you didn’t want to risk anything getting ruined. 
You walked downstairs to see Seungmin on his phone while Felix was holding a shot out for you. “Let’s have fun tonight” he grins, throwing the shot back as his face turns into one of disgust. 
Every time y’all drank, Felix would always be the first to black out. He wasn’t a lightweight per se, but he loved drinking a lot when he had the opportunity.  Seungmin was the designated driver, so he wasn’t pre-gamming, but y’all were most likely going to stay at Jeongin’s anyway so he could still enjoy. 
“Can we please get going before I turn 60?” Seungmin rolled his eyes, grabbing his keys off your kitchen counter. You just giggled at his impatience, not understanding his need to be there already. 
“Hey old man, are you going to Hyunjin’s party?” Seungmin spoke up as you looked up to see who he was talking to. 
You saw Chris getting in his car. He was wearing his usual all-black outfit, but instead of his usual beanie and sweatpants, he was wearing black jeans with a black shirt and silver chains adorning his neck. His hair was a bit curly, framing his face perfectly. 
You loved it when Chan had his hair curly, but you couldn’t compliment him on it, especially after barely talking to him for the past 4 years. 
“Oh yeah, do any of you need a ride?” 
Before you could say no, Seungmin spoke up. “Actually, that would be great. I only have enough space for Felix and me, so if you could take y/n with you, that would be great!”
You glared at Seungmin confused, thinking he was lying. But he was right, his back seats were filled with camera supplies from earlier in the day. He told you he was practicing taking scenery pictures before coming to your house, so you thought he had taken them out before coming over, but he didn’t. 
“Oh, that’s fine, hop in!” 
You reluctantly agreed, walking across your driveway to Chan’s. You could feel your cheeks slightly blush with embarrassment, you didn’t want to be a burden. 
“I promise you I haven’t had anything to drink, so don’t worry” You simply nodded, sitting in the passenger seat, watching Seungmin’s car leaving as Chan sat in the driver's seat. 
“Thanks for taking me, I didn’t know Seungmin had so much stuff in the back seat of his car” you feebly said. You felt bad, you hadn’t talked more than 5 sentences to Chan in so long and now he was giving you a free ride.
“Don’t worry about it, what are neighbors for” he grinned at you, his signature smile warming your insides. “Plus, if you need a ride home, I’m your guy!” 
“Aren’t you going to drink?” you asked as he backed up from his long driveway. 
“I don’t drink, I just go to spend time with Bin and them” he chuckled a bit before putting the car in drive. 
You simply nodded, looking down at his arm and grabbing the stick shift. He was much more muscular now, his veins prominent even in the dark. Before you could even think about what you were doing. You grabbed the necklace that he had given you when you were younger between your fingers.
“Wow, you still wear that?” 
You looked up at him confused, not understanding what he was saying. “The necklace I gave you, you still wear it?” 
“Oh, yeah, you asked me to never take it off, so I kept my promise” 
He simply nodded, turning on the radio as you both fell into a comfortable silence. What you didn’t know was that Chan’s heart was racing.
Even after all this time, you didn’t want to break his promise. His heart swelled at the thought of how cute you were. He wanted to stop the car right there and then to tell you how he felt about you, but he couldn’t. He was too embarrassed, scared that you wouldn’t feel the same way, so he stayed silent. 
It was another 5 minutes of silence til you arrived at Hyunjin and Jeongin’s house. The party was already in full swing, people spilling inside and out. 
Chan parked the car on the street, and before you could even open the door yourself, he ran to your side and did it for you. You thought the sentiment was sweet, chuckling at his eagerness to open the door for you. 
“Thanks” you grinned and he just nodded. You both entered the house to see people making out in the corner and red solo cups splayed across the floor. It wasn’t too loud that it was disrupting everyone on the street, but it was loud enough that you could barely hear Chan next to you telling you that he was going to go find Changbin. 
You simply nodded trying to find your own friends. As you began to walk deeper into the house, you spotted Jeongin sporting ginger hair in the corner talking to Seungmin. You ran up to him, giving him the tightest hug known to man. 
“Your hair!” you screamed trying to make sure he heard you above the music. “Do you like it?” he asked, raising his eyebrows at you and giggling.
You ran your hand through his hair, “I love it, it’s so you Innie” 
He gleaned at your compliment, which caused Seungmin to sport a disgusted face. “Please stop flirting in front of me” Causing the both of you to look at Seungmin with a face of horror. “Ew,” you both said simultaneously, causing the both of you to erupt in giggles. 
“We need to take shots before all the good alcohol is good” You took Jeongin’s and Seungmin’s hands and dragged them to the kitchen. 
As you were pouring the three of you some shots, you looked up to see Felix and Changbin talking while Chan and Lee Know were standing next to them. 
“Are my eyes deceiving me right now? I don’t think I’m that drunk, but is that Changbin and Felix and they are talking?” 
Seungmin also looked up after taking a shot “Holy shit, he finally did it” 
“Should we take a picture to commemorate this moment, or would that be weird?” you asked, pulling your phone out from the pocket of your skirt. 
“Put the phone down” Jeonging laughed, taking it from your hands and holding it above your head laughing. You tried jumping up to get it from him, whining a bit in the process of retrieving it from his hands. 
What you didn’t notice was Chan staring at you, chuckling to himself at your antics, which caused Lee Know to look at him weirdly. That was until he looked up to see what he was looking at. 
“You are still pinning after her after all these years?” Lee Know asked, patting his friend’s back. 
“I’m not pinning, I’m just laughing at them, she looks cute” 
“Dude, you’ve been like this since 7th grade, don’t you think it’s time to move on?” 
“I don’t think I can ever move on” Chan groaned, trying to look away from you. You were like his own personal drug, something that he knew he should look away from, but he physically couldn’t, you were addicting. 
You were walking his way with your friends on your side and a drink in your hand. He fidgeted with his hands a bit, not knowing what to do, only to receive a “told you so” look from Lee Know. 
“Hey guys!” you giggled, already feeling a bit tipsy from how much you had already drank. “What are you up to?” 
Before Chan could even speak up, Hyunjin and Jisung had run up behind them. “Guys come on, they are playing truth or dare in the basement” pushing all of your friends to come with them. 
You followed them downstairs, drink in your hand. There was a whole group of people in the basement all sitting in a circle. You plopped down in between Jeongin and Seungmin, your head resting on Jeongin. 
“Okay guys, are we doing only three truths in a row?” Ryujin asked. Everyone nodded, beginning the game. 
Lily was the first to start, spinning the bottle. It landed on San and he was forced to take his shirt off for the rest of the game, which no one was opposed to. 
The game continued on like this for around an hour, the bottle had now landed on you again. “Truth or Dare?” Felix asked
“I choose dare” you grinned feeling a bit more confident with the alcohol flowing through your system. “I dare you to kiss” he pondered for a second, giggling at himself “Chan!” you simply shrugged, going up to Chan. 
“May I?” you asked wanting to make sure he was comfortable with it. He simply nodded allowing you to kiss his lips. He thought it would last for longer, but it was only a quick peck. 
The feeling of your lips caused his body to tingle, the sensation shocking his entire body, but he attempted to play it off as nonchalant even though his ears were beginning to turn a slight shade of red. 
“Aw come on, that was barely a kiss” Felix groaned
“You never said how long” you teased at him, poking out your tongue
You guys had been going at it for hours, you still drinking along as the people playing began to fizzle out, leaving only a few of you guys playing. 
You decided to get up, underestimating the amount you had drank. You had begun to stumble a bit, Chan quickly getting up to catch you. “Hey, why don’t we go home? You need to sober up” 
You whined “It’s okay Seungmin can take me, you don’t need to” He simply shook his head and pointed you in Seungmin’s direction. He was asleep on Jeongin’s shoulder a light snore leaving his mouth causing you to giggle. 
“He looks just like a puppy” You tried to walk over to squish his face only to be stopped by Chris. “You can play with him tomorrow sweetheart, why don’t we get you home first?” 
You simply nodded, feeling your cheeks redden when he called you sweetheart. He walked you up the stairs of the basement to be met with Changbin and Felix sitting on the couch in the living room talking about some show. 
“I’m taking her home, she’s had quite a lot to drink, text me if you need anything” 
They looked up at Chan, simply nodding and going back to their conversation.
Chan took you to his car, opening the passenger side only to be met with your face inches away from yours as he put you into the seat. “You know Chris”
“What do I know?” he asked a bit teasingly
“You are really hot, and I’m not saying that because I’ve known you for so long, I’m saying that as a fact” 
He just chuckled, “Sweetheart, why don’t you tell me in the morning, when you are sober” 
You just hummed in response as he walked around the car into his own seat, turning on the music and opening the windows so the cool air could hit you as you drove. 
When he finally reached your house, Chan asked you where your keys were and you simply shrugged in response. 
“Come on, don’t you want to be comfortable, in your bed, in your pajamas? Now, where is the key?”
“Don’t wanna go home, there are ghosts” you whispered to him as you looked around to see if they heard you. 
“Now come on, there are no such things as ghosts, please it’s freezing and I want to make sure you don’t get cold in this short skirt of yours”
“Nope, you can’t make me” you giggled. Chan gave up, throwing you over his shoulder, causing you to scream.
“You need to be quiet, or else you will wake up the ghosts,” he said playfully. That was all you needed to shut up. He opened the door to his house, grateful that his family was on a camping trip so they wouldn’t question anything that was happening. 
He took you to his room, placing you on his bed. “Cold” you whispered and he went into his closet finding some clothes from high school that might fit you. Before he could even give them to you, you had already stripped down to your bra and panties. 
He quickly turned around, trying to cover his eyes. As much as he wanted to see you in nothing on his bed, you were drunk, and he was sure as hell not going to take advantage of you. “Here, put these on” he tossed his clothes to you, allowing you to put them on. 
“These are comfy” you sighed, which gave him confirmation to turn around and look at you. You were on his bed, in his clothes, and he wanted to groan. 
“I’ll be back, stay here okay?” you just nodded, playing at the drawstrings of his hoodie. He quickly went downstairs, getting two bottles of water and some painkillers for the headache you were sure to have in the morning. He also rummaged through his mom’s drawers in hopes of finding makeup wipes. 
He came back to his room to see you lying on his bed, head in his pillows. “Hey, let me take your makeup off okay?” 
You got up, simply nodding, allowing him to take off the makeup that was on your face. Each swipe was tentative and gentle, allowing you to feel his hands run across your face. When he finished, he was slowly getting up, but you didn’t let him.
You grabbed his wrists, not wanting him to go. “Please, stay with me, for old time's sake?”
He nodded, telling you to wait a minute as he went to go change. You simply nodded, waiting for him to come into his bed with you. His scent was engulfing you, every pore in your body was covered with him. He finally came into the bed with a black t-shirt and basketball shorts covering his body. 
You wrapped your arms around his body, hugging him like a koala bear, your legs lying on top of his. “You know Channie, it was a really good kiss, even though it was so short” you mumbled into his chest.
“Yeah?” he asked, wrapping his arms around you. 
“Yeah, I hope we can do it again” you sighed, falling asleep in his arms.
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You woke up discombobulated, your head throbbing. You took in the room around you, one that you knew well, but it wasn’t yours. The wolf figurine you had made him in the corner confirmed it. You were in Chris’s room. 
You slowly began to recollect everything that happened last night. The getting drunk, the game of truth or dare, the kissing Chan, then confessing to him that you wanted to do it again. 
You had made such a fool of yourself, you groaned into your hands embarrassed, slowly falling back into the bed. You were met with Chan’s voice near you. “Here drink this” he passed you two painkillers and a bottle of water that you happily took. 
“You okay?” he asked. He was next to the bed, his shirt off and sweat dripping from his body. “Wait fuck” he quickly threw on a shirt, trying to appear decent in front of you. 
“Yeah, I feel much better” you groaned, taking another healthy gulp of water. He sat down on the bed, it dipping under his weight as he sat next to you. “Why don’t you go home and take a shower, I’ll make you some food and bring it over okay?” 
You just nodded, wanting to get into your own pajamas even though Chan’s were extremely comfortable. You walked over to your house, quickly running to your room embarrassed. You checked your phone to see if you had gotten any texts, but you hadn’t received anything, what could you expect from your friends when it was eight in the morning?  
You wanted to curl up and die, how could you do that to Chan? Not to mention telling him you wanted to kiss him again. The kissing part wasn’t a lie, but it was just so embarrassing. You went to shower, hoping the heat from it could help relax you just enough that you didn’t make a fool of yourself in front of him again. 
When you got out, you were greeted with a ring of your doorbell. You quickly made your way downstairs, to see Chan with wet hair and a box of donuts in one hand and coffee in the other hand. 
“Have I ever told you how much I love you?” you asked, quickly snatching the food from his hands and allowing him to enter your house. 
“Hmm, I do recall sometimes that you did” he giggled, coming in. “Wow, this place hasn’t changed at all” he whistled taking in your house. Pictures of you as a kid, leading up to your teen years littered the walls. Pictures of family vacations, even pictures of Chan were still around the house.
If you want to see something that hasn’t changed at all, you should see my room. You grabbed his hand, leading him up the stairs to your room. It wasn’t that cluttered, only some makeup from yesterday littered on your dresser. 
“Wow, you weren’t joking, it still looks like a unicorn threw up all over your room” you just giggled, allowing him to take in the paintings that you had made over the years. “You’ve improved so much,” he said, running his fingers across the paintings. 
“So have you” you grinned, causing him to look at you and cock his head to the side. “Your music, I’ve listened to all of your songs” 
He rubbed the back of his neck embarrassed. “Oh, I didn’t think you did” 
“Of course I did, I told you I would support you no matter what! It is kind of sad though, you did forget about me as you became famous” you teased. 
He came closer to you, the back of your knees hitting your mattress. “I would never forget you sweetheart” 
Before you could even register what you were doing, your lips attacked his, causing him to groan in your mouth. 
You pulled him onto your bed, flipping the both of you around so you were on top of him straddling him. “Baby, are you sure, I’ve wanted to kiss you for years, but I want to make sure you are sure”
“I’m as sure as I will ever be Channie, please just want you” 
Chan felt like he died and went to heaven. Your lips resumed to crash against his, it was the perfect mix of lust and love. He wanted to devour you, but make you feel like how he felt about you. How you were the only one in the world for him.
As the kiss turned more intense, you began to grind on his crotch, trying to get any sort of friction. A moan escaped your lips as your clit rubbed against his hardening cock at the perfect angle. He took this as an opportunity to place his tongue in your mouth, trying to devour you whole as you continued to grind on him. 
“Fuck baby” he pulled away, “you are so good for me”
Before you could do anything, he flipped you around, your head hitting your pillows as he slowly pulled down your tank top revealing your breast and the necklace he had given you years ago. You forgot you weren’t wearing a bra, giving him full access to your tits. He groaned at the sight, taking one in his hand while kissing the other. He licked your nipple, causing you to moan. 
“Channie, fuck.” He looked up at you, admiring the way you already looked fucked out and he had barely touched you. “Feels that good?” he asked, and you nodded as he continued to attack your breast. 
He took his knee and slowly ground it into your cunt, trying to give you some sort of stimulation as he moved on to the other breast. You were a whimpering mess underneath him. “Please need more” you whined. 
He looked up at you and chuckled. “Is my knee not enough? Does my slutty little baby need my fingers?” 
“Yes please sir, need your fingers” he moaned at you calling him sir. He slowly began kissing down your stomach to your thighs, his pillow lips feathering kissing close to where you wanted him, but he still felt far away. 
“Please sir, will be a good girl, just want your fingers” you whined, you needed some sort of stimulation and he wasn’t giving it to you. 
“Good girls don’t complain,” he said sternly, lightly slapping your thighs. “I know it’s bad to play with your food,” he said while pulling down your shorts and underwear in one swipe “but you will be a good girl and let me right?” 
You nodded as he began to trace his wetness between your folds. “Wow, my baby is so wet. Is this all for me? You want me to fuck you this bad?” 
“Yes sir, please I need it so bad” you whispered. He slowly inserted a finger into you as he moved down kissing your thighs once again. 
Chan felt like he could cum just like this. You were so wet for him, that he felt like he was gonna go crazy. He slowly moved up to your clit, pressing a wet kiss to it as he continued to add another finger to stretch you out for his cock. 
Your moans were becoming more fervent, your hand latching to his hair as he began to eat you like a man starved. The only thing on his mind was making you feel good, making you cum with just his fingers and his mouth. 
He began to lap at your hole as he continued to finger you, trying to taste all your juices. It wasn’t until he hit that one spot inside of you and hummed his lips against your clit that you felt like you were about to cum. 
You were about to cum, your walls clenching around his fingers, your high almost there when he pulled out of you. 
“Channie!” you whined, the loss of his fingers caused you to whine, you were so close and he had ripped that pleasure away from you in seconds.
“The only way you are cumming is on my cock baby” He pulled his cock out of his boxers, the tip hitting his stomach causing you to go wide-eyed. 
You have had sex before, but never with a cock that big. “Now baby, where are your condoms?” 
“Don’t want to use one” You looked up at him with your doe eyes and he swore he had just cum. 
“I mean, I’m on the pill and I’m clean and I trust you, and I just want you to fill me up” you babbled on. 
“Fuck baby, it’s like you are trying to kill me” he groaned. “Want you to ride me okay? So you can take as much of my cock as you want or can. Can you do that for me baby?” 
You simply nodded, getting up from the pillows and aligning the tip of his cock with your cunt. As you ran his head, which was leaking pre-cum, you both groaned at the sensation. You slowly began to push his cock inside of you. 
You felt so full from only the tip, the girth of his cock being too much. You moaned when you got his cock halfway inside of you, slowly bouncing up and down until you fit the entire thing inside of you, causing you both to groan.
He watched his cock slowly go all the way inside of you as you began to ride him. You moaned as you felt him hit a particularly deep spot inside of you. 
“Always been mine haven’t you been baby?” 
“Yes Channie” you moaned as he watched the necklace bounce up and down as you continued to ride him, trying to chase your high.
“Fuck baby, you even wore my necklace to show it off,” he said while wrapping the necklace around his hand, pushing his hips to meet your pace. 
That was all you needed to cum on his cock, he was right behind you. The clench of your cunt around his cock was all he needed to cover your walls in his cum. 
You both fell back onto your bed, his softening cock still inside of you as you began to kiss his lips once again. 
“I hope you know I’m always there for you baby,” he said while kissing the crown of your forehead. You just hummed in response, wrapping your arms around him. You weren’t going to let him go now that you had him after all these years.
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Waste The Day - LN
Summary: Lando travels a lot but his girlfriend knows how to help him just enjoy his days off.
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Getting back from the most recent race weekend to his apartment being dead of life. A soft scent of food from a few hours ago lingering from his girlfriend who ate alone and sent him a picture of her meal, having made some chicken fajitas. But she’s long since gone to bed thanks to the annoying time his flight landed after being delayed.
Showering off the flight and changing into something for bed, he smiles seeing his girlfriend sleeping peacefully, hugging the body pillow that she uses when he’s not there to cuddle.
He slightly eases the pillow from her arms, making her stir from her sleep.
“Shhh…shh…go back to sleep.” Lando whispers making her whine some mumble of words while he slides into the position of the pillow while she again mumbles something incoherent.
The feeling of her head resting on his chest settles in a way he didn’t know it needed to. But he feels himself settle down and begin to feel the weight of sleep pressing down on him.
He drifts off not long later with her having shifted to throw a leg over him and hug him more tightly. Y/n might not be awake but he can tell that she knows it’s him there with her rather than the pillow.
-
Lips brushing the shell of his hear and a gentle breath pulls him slightly from the depth of sleep but then…
“Babe…”
There’s a lazy excitement in her voice, clearly the tiredness of waking up but excitement of seeing him back home making up the combination.
Lando’s hands move up her thighs, gripping at the skin as he shifts to grind up against her as she straddles him.
“Oh good morning.” Y/n smiles before she leans forward pouting a little, and maybe teasing him with the new position. “You should’ve woke me up when you got home.”
“You looked too peaceful and I was tired anyway. I just wanted to cuddle and sleep with you here.” Lando states before manoeuvring so he can catch her in a kiss. “I’m keeping you in bed for a while too.”
“Yeah?” She smiles before he rolls them so she’s under him. “Control freak.”
“You’ve never complained before.” Lando shrugs kissing down her body as he pushes the t-shirt up to expose her skin. “God I miss getting to have you in the morning then I’m gone.”
Y/n really does try to reply, but her voice catches in her throat when his head disappears down between her thighs making her shudder through a ripple of pleasure. She’s really not a morning person, but the promise of morning sex with Lando really perks her up enough for her be happy to be awake.
-
It took till mid-afternoon for them to finally roll out of bed.
“What were you doing while I was gone?” Lando asks since he did talk to her while he was gone but she didn’t really mention anything specific.
“I waited for you to come home.” Y/n states bluntly earning a look before she grins at him. “No, I hit the gym. Went to that cooking class since my mum has been on me about knowing how to function as an adult who doesn’t just order in.”
“How’d it go?” Lando questions in amusement since his girlfriend has been working on a lot of “self-improvement” and has so far started going to the gym, bought a new wardrobe, cut her hair (but Lando didn’t notice because it was maybe an inch) and now she’s trying to take on the life skill of actually living off of more than sandwiches, noodles and the one thing she can make as a decent meal which is fajitas.
“Well…the teacher said it was edible.” She smiles nervously making a silence fall before Lando breaks into laughter and moves over to her.
“I love you, but you don’t need to be able to cook.”
“No, one day you’re going come back from a race to a hot meal and realise that I can make at least one good meal.” Y/n pouts before smiling. “But for now can we order pizza?”
“Yes. But I want to argue that you make amazing milkshakes and smoothies.”
And that’s how the day goes with them crashed out in the living room, they even end up playing some video games with Lando sitting on the floor while y/n’s legs rest over his shoulders.
Living life as an F1 driver is fun and all, but having a girlfriend who is happy to give him a break from all the excitement and just spend time with him doing whatever they feel like gives him the rest and reassurance that he’s didn’t even know he needed till he found her.
“Can I make one request for your appearance?” Y/n asks while they decide whether to keep playing or to make milkshakes.
“So controlling.” Lando jokes before leaning his head back enough to look at her. “Go on.”
“Don’t get rid of the curls. I love them so much.” Y/n pouts as he smiles brightly at her. “Please?”
“Ok, I promise to not get rid of the curls.”
“Thank you.” Y/n grins leaning over and kissing him. “So what else do you want to do with your days off?”
“Can we stream? Both of us?”
“So you can broadcast how bad I am?”
“No.” Yes.
Y/n looks at him with a deadpanned expression before groaning and agreeing since she can never say no to him when he’s just sat there innocently smiling at her.
“Fine, we can stream.”
-
After a 5-0 defeat of F12023, y/n declares she’s done and wants milkshakes.
“Guys, I can’t let her win. She’ll know and then be even more mad at me. I do have to go though, because she won’t make me a milkshake if I’m not there when she’s mad at me like this. And she makes the best milkshakes so I’m not missing out, and I do have to do a bit of grovelling to make up for it.” Lando smiles before ending the stream and rushing out into the kitchen. “Baby, I’m sorry…please make me a milkshake too.”
“No, you didn’t even try to give me a chance at winning.”
“I’m sorry. But you always get mad when I let you win.” Lando pouts then moving around and kissing her several times, apologising between each kiss. “I miss your milkshakes so much when I’m away from you, please don’t deprive me.”
“I hate how weak you make me.” Y/n pouts before she sighs softly then putting her finger on his chin and turning his head to see two milkshakes are waiting for them.
“You-You are the best thing in my life. You make days filled with doing nothing the best part of my week.” Lando grins while she mirrors his expression.
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haknom · 14 days
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THIS MUST BE MY DREAM — YANG JUNGWON
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∿ 📋 SCORE SHEETS ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 Jungwon was living his best life at Earl View Academy. He was scoring the highest marks, dominating every exam, and ranking the top one out of every student. See, he was living his best life at Earl View Academy before you came along, destroying his reputation because of your similar level in academics. It had to be a dream, there was no way someone could compete with him. With that said, he immediately renamed you as the new student to his one and only arch nemesis.
∿ TOP RANKS ✂️ academic-rival!jungwon x fem!reader (ft. jungwon from enhypen, baekseung from epex, and minji from newjeans)
∿ EXAM REVIEW ⟡ insp by doctor slump, long fic, academic rivals to lovers, rivals to lovers, highschool au, nerds to lovers, fluff, crack, and angst.
∿ 📔 STUDY NOTES ୨ৎ swearing, bickering, mentions of pills (painkillers), skipping meals, fainting, crying, being sick, and mental health issues, lmk if i missed anything.
∿ NUMBER OF EXAM QUESTIONS 🎓 14980 words
∿ FEEDBACK . . . and with that said it’s finally done!!!!! took me two months cs i took so many breaks …. happy belated jungwon day? LMFAO… and tysm to @soov for proofreading all the way !!! love u rei <33
∿ STUDY PLAYLIST 🎶 click here!
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RANK ONE.
In Earl View Academy, everyone wanted to live Jungwon’s life. He was a son everyone wanted—not his words—and that made him feel good about himself. Even if he was quite the goofball, he still aced all his assignments while having fun.
His life was perfect. 
“Jungwon!” His friend, Baekseung called, gaining his attention almost immediately. The boy looked over at his brown-haired friend with a smile, pausing the movements of his pencil gliding against his notebook. 
“Hm?” He hummed, waiting for his friend to continue talking. Baekseung took a seat on the window sill beside Jungwon as Minji walked into the classroom. 
“Did you see the banner they hung up? It has something to do with University, I believe.” He said as Minji walked towards them.
“Here.” She held out her phone, showing the boys a picture of the banner. It showcased a brief description of what to expect when applying to the University of Seoul and the date of submission—February 9th of 2024.
Jungwon’s birthday.
It was perfect timing, almost as if it was destined to be. His reputation at school and his relationship with his teachers would easily help him get accepted, right? 
“The acceptance rate is 40%, which isn’t all bad, but many people apply, so…” Minji explained, turning off her phone, and shoving it into her back pocket. Jungwon tapped his pencil against his chin to a random, yet consistent rhythm in his head.
Jungwon’s friends always enabled his confidence. He was aware of his smartness, but they made it seem bigger than it really was. 
“Although a lot of people apply, I’m sure you’ll get accepted. Your application will catch their eyes immediately, trust me.” 
Jungwon bit back a smile at Baekseung’s words, sending him an amused nod instead. 
“I’m sure it will.” He replied, returning his focus to his notes. Before his friends appeared, he was working on a few equations, to make sure they stuck with him for their test.
It was his way of studying; learn the materials in class and study them like his life depended upon it. 
It worked like a charm every time.
“I don’t get how you understand these things.” Baekseung said while peeking over at his work. Jungwon smiled, letting out a chuckle. 
He never did, it wasn’t anything new. 
“See, you start with your values, then you write out your formula and substitute your variables for your numbers—”
“Enough! You lost me at the word ‘values.’” He exclaimed, causing both Jungwon and Minji to laugh. 
“Hey, when you get accepted into the University of Seoul, don’t forget me.” Baekseung pleaded and leaned in with his hands desperately clasped together. 
“I won’t, I won’t.” 
Jungwon dropped his pencil, letting it lay flat on his notebook, and placed his hands on top of Baekseung’s.
“You have nothing to worry about.” He said, playing along with Baekseung’s act. 
“I don’t get how I was pulled into this trio,” Minji said, cringing at the sight before her.
“Yeah, me neither.” Baekseung smiled at Jungwon, then, removed his hands from underneath his, and returned to his spot on the window sill.
“Oh well, here we are now. You love us, right?” Jungwon teased, the cringing expression never leaving Minji’s face.
The two boys stared at her in silence, waiting for her response. They wouldn’t let her off the hook if she didn’t open her mouth to say anything.
“Fine. I do.” She replied, earning bright smiles from her friends in return. She shook her head, a small smile making its way to her face. 
It was impossible to avoid their faces. Even if they weren’t trying, they still managed to swoon her over with one look. They were unstoppable together.
Jungwon went back to studying as Minji and Baekseung playfully bickered over a past memory. It was a common occurrence, nothing new.
“I heard they’re selling Yakult in the cafeteria today!” A classmate said to their friend, gaining the three’s attention immediately.
They stopped what they were doing and looked at each other. They gave each other a look that only they could understand. There were no words shared, only their eyes held their words.
Soon after, Baekseung and Jungwon got up from their spots, following behind Minji who led them out of the classroom.
Yakult was their favourite thing ever. It was something all three of them could agree on—that they tasted delightful. Other than that, they all had different tastes in a way.
“Finally, they’re bringing it back!” Minji cheered, happier than ever. Baekseung, who stood in the middle, wrapped his arms around the two to pull them in closer.
“Do we have a plan?” He asked as Minji scoffed.
“Do we even need one? Just do whatever your mind tells you to.” She said and he nodded. 
“Smart choice.” 
The two conversed alone just as they did back in the classroom, except Jungwon wasn’t studying. He could’ve been included in their conversation right now, they weren’t excluding him at all.
He just didn’t pay attention. He didn’t even take note that they were talking because it all sounded muffled to him. 
All he paid attention to was his homeroom teacher who walked down the hallways, lips moving as if he was talking to someone, but Jungwon didn’t know who.
Once he walked past, it was then revealed. A girl stood fairly behind his homeroom teacher, catching Jungwon’s attention. 
He had no clue who she was, nor had he ever seen her face before, he ‘didn’t’ even care about what her name was, what time she arrived, what foods she liked, why she was wearing their school’s uniform, or what she had for breakfast.
All he cared about was how pretty she was, and fine, maybe what her name was too. Previously, if someone were to tell him about another being heaven-sent he wouldn’t understand them. 
Now, he really does because she, she was heaven-sent to him at least.
“You okay?” Baekseung asked, looking over at Jungwon’s dazed figure. He shook Jungwon with the arm that rested over his shoulder, startling the poor boy.
“Huh? Oh, yeah. I’m okay.” 
Well, he hoped he was.
“Sweet, if I’m not wrong, lunch starts in about 3 minutes. Therefore, I believe we’ll be first…” Baekseung paused, his voice growing quieter at the sight before them.
“… In line.” His words were almost like a whisper. He was practically speechless at the line. At least 20 students were already waiting for their Yakult’s. 
“Yeah, um, maybe we do need a plan,” Minji said, regretting her previous words. There was no way they’d get through a line like this one. 
“Maybe? We 100% need a plan.” Baekseung said, his arms slipping off their shoulders. 
“I’m sure we’ll be fine if we just wait. It can’t be that bad—Woah! Okay. Maybe it is bad.” Jungwon’s reassuring words were cut off by his shocked ones. 
The line extended even further. How was that even possible?
“Hey, Min, what time is it?” Jungwon asked Minji as she checked her phone that previously sat in her back pocket. 
“11:37 AM.” She replied, still flabbergasted at the number of students waiting for their Yakult’s. 
“Do you think that will be enough time to visit the nearest convenience store and then come back?” Jungwon asked, desperate for an escape. He was still craving a Yakult, but they wouldn’t get one at this rate.
“It’s 27 (81 Fahrenheit) degrees Celsius outside…”  Baekseung muttered, mentally sweating at the thought. 
“We can get ice cream as well…” Jungwon whispered, scared that the line of students would overhear his words and run after them. 
What if they were craving ice cream too? It wasn’t just the three of them who were feeling hot.
“Smart choice. Yeah, let’s do that instead.” Minji cautiously walked away from the entrance of the cafeteria, careful not to make a sound as the two boys did the same.
Yes, they were being very dramatic right now, but that line of students was very intimidating.
The three returned to class with leftovers of their ice creams, hoping nobody would ask them for at least one lick—it was disgusting to know that they were serious.
“Oh, Jungwon,” Minji said, remembering something from earlier. Jungwon hummed in response, his mouth full of ice cream. 
“Did you even start your applications? Our midterms are soon, so I’m sure our guidance counsellors are going to approach you about it.” 
“Are you worried for me? Or do you want to use my application as a template for yours?” 
“I…” Minji stayed silent as Baekseung stifled a laugh. She sent him a glare, causing him to clear his throat. What was he laughing at? He was bound to do the same exact thing. 
“Fine, you caught me. But hey, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do!” She exclaimed as Jungwon chuckled, getting up from his seat to throw away his ice cream wrapper. 
“If you want, I can assist you—”
“Guys, guys!” A classmate shouted while running into the classroom shocked. Everyone’s heads turned to look at the said boy, more confused than ever. What lie was he about to spurt next?
“I just saw a pretty, pretty girl in the teacher’s office. I think she’s a new student.” He explained, however, nobody reacted.
“Are you lying to cover up the fact you were being scolded in the office?” Another classmate asked, causing laughs to erupt from other students in the room. Jungwon smiled to himself, that was a good one.
“I’m serious! I heard she might even be smarter than Jungwon!” The student exclaimed, causing Jungwon’s smile to falter and his pen to stop moving.
All eyes were focused on him as he slowly looked up at the shouting boy. 
“Eh, I’m sure there’s no one who can compare to his level!” Baekseung said, patting Jungwon on his shoulder and smiling. 
Jungwon was considered very smart for someone his age. It was a common compliment he received, but he didn’t hate it. It was quite ego-boosting.
“Everyone! Have a seat please.” Ms. Eun walked through the doors of their classroom, and another student walked in a few moments later. 
“Obviously, I’m sure you’re aware of the new student joining our class today! Please make (Name) (Last Name)  feel welcome in our classroom!” She explained as Jungwon’s eyes widened.
You were the same girl he saw in the hallways earlier. For some reason, his heart skipped a beat and his ears went numb at the sight of you.
“Oh, Jungwon. (Name) also got perfect on the entrance exam and was the top student at her old school. It must be great to meet someone at your level.” Ms. Eun smiled as all the emotions Jungwon had felt earlier plummeted.
So his classmate wasn’t lying. There was really someone who matched his skill of knowledge. 
You looked over at the boy Ms. Eun referred to, noticing the way his expressions switched. At first glance, he was calm, but his eyes said otherwise.
They held an emotion you’ve never seen in anyone else’s—a desire to win. And, of course, you wouldn’t let him achieve that goal of his.
If someone were to win and maintain that top student rank, it would be you and you only.
You two hadn’t even spoken to one another, but within those 2 minutes of staring into each other’s eyes, it was obvious you both saw each other as a threat.
No matter what, only one of you can have that title.
RANK TWO.
“Jungwon, you haven’t looked up from your notebook this whole class,” Minji said, turning around in her seat to face him.
“Literally! There’s not even a single test coming up. What is there to be reviewed at this point?” Baekseung chimed in with a frown.
Yet, Jungwon didn’t look up, easily proving their point. It had been a week since you first arrived at Earl View Academy. 
A week since Jungwon first felt threatened by your appearance. His life was perfect until you arrived.
His friends swore they hadn’t had one single hangout since then, but he said otherwise.
“You do know, you reviewing your notes while Minji and I converse without you, isn’t a hangout right?”
Jungwon’s pencil stopped moving for a brief moment, only to start up again at an even faster pace.
He couldn’t fall behind you. 
He glanced over at your focused state, glaring in the process. You seemed to be at ease and he wasn’t. 
That should’ve been him. 
What happened to the perfect life that everyone wanted to live? The one where he could be happy and carefree even while passing all his classes with 100s? 
“Don’t tell me you feel threatened—”
Jungwon’s pencil-led snapping silenced Baekseung’s voice almost immediately. He looked up at his friend, eyes darker than usual. There wasn’t his signature gleam that complimented his dimpled smile. He looked like he was ready to kill someone.
“Minji…” Baekseung called, signalling for her to take over the conversation. Sadly, that failed. She was just as scared as him.
“Hey, I could, uh… I could sharpen this for you!” She exclaimed, instead of continuing the same topic as before. 
She took the pencil out of his hold, but Jungwon silently searched his pencil case for another one.
He had no time to waste. He was almost done with his notes.
Minji took her seat again, placing the boy’s broken pencil beside his notebook with a soft, yet dragged-out ‘okay.’
There would’ve been no point in going anyway. 
“Dude, why don’t you let loose a bit?” A classmate said to their friend and began shaking their shoulders. 
“I can’t! You know how my mom is about my grades right now…” He mumbled, embarrassed. 
The boy from earlier grabbed his basketball that rolled under his desk and bounced it around him.
“I know you want to play basketball right now, but that’s okay. I’ll just play with Jungwon and his friends.” He informed his friend, turning to look at Jungwon who wasn’t paying attention.
“Yo, Jungwon! Catch this!” He shouted, alerting both of his friends, but him.
He passed the ball, expecting Jungwon—or even Baekseung—to catch the ball, however, there was nothing.
Instead, the loud thud of a ball hitting your head, echoed throughout the classroom. At least, that managed to catch Jungwon’s attention.
Your pen fell out of your hand, landing on the desk. Your ears began to ring as frustration—and a bit of lightheadedness—took over your system.
“Oh shit, I’m so sorry.” The classmate said, making his way over to you with a worried look.
It was only your second day and you were making enemies.
Yet, you couldn’t bother to accept his apology. You looked at him with a facial expression that not even his mom had ever given him. He was terrified.
“Does this classroom look like a circus to you?” You asked as a throbbing pain slowly began to settle in your head. 
“Are you so unskilled that you can’t even hold a basketball properly? Actually, are you so childish to the point where you aren’t aware of classroom rules?” 
The atmosphere of the classroom vastly shifted. It was quite intense and unsettling. 
His mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water stunned by your words. He was speechless, how could he respond to that?
“Please leave me alone, you’d only be a distraction to my studies.” With that said, you returned to your work, acting as if the boy in front of you didn’t exist.
Jungwon’s brows furrowed at the sight, you were being so mean and for what? 
The boy shamefully walked back to his seat as all his friends held in their laughs. He was already embarrassed enough, their laughs only adding to the fire.
Forget what Jungwon said about you being heaven-sent, the Devil must’ve sent you instead. He swore if he stared even longer, horns would grow on your head at any given moment.
So, he looked away and continued taking his notes. 
“She seems mean,” Baekseung whispered to the two around him. Minji nodded in agreement, mentioning how she got chills from how you stared at the boy. 
You proceeded to rub at your temples in an attempt to force away the throbbing migraine coming your way. You couldn’t take a break from studying.
You had to finish reviewing this material before anything at all—not even a meal break was allowed in your Book of Rules.
“What do you guys want to do for lunch?” Baekseung asked, gaining Jungwon and Minji’s attention again. 
“I heard they’re going to play Basketball in the gym. You two should play as well!” Minji exclaimed, which only resulted in Jungwon’s head perking up at the sport.
“I’m down,” Jungwon said almost immediately. Baekseung and Minho’s eyebrows rose at his quick decision. It was almost as if he wasn’t studying his butt off while ignoring his two chattery friends a moment ago.
“Are you sure? I thought you had to revise your notes.” Baekseung verbalised his confusion as Jungwon began packing up his belongings.
“I already understand everything. A + B = X times 6–”
“Okay! Okay. No more Math, please.” Baekseung was quick to halt Jungwon’s equation with his index finger. He slowed down his pace when zipping up his backpack, taking in the words Baekseung uttered before. 
A smile made its way to the boy’s face at the realisation of his friend's confusion. Baekseung definitely had no clue what they were learning in class.
“Hurry! I don’t want to be late for team decisions.” He exclaimed, hopping off of the desk he sat on.
Jungwon waved off his friend’s pestering and walked out of the classroom, the two trailing behind him. 
You, on the other hand, struggled to focus on your work. The whole classroom was quiet and you were the only one left. Everyone had left for lunch, but you. 
Yes, you loved quiet, however your migraine didn’t. The accompanied silence only made your migraine throb even more, a faint mic feedback noise to back it up.
Almost like you had a fever.
You placed your pencil down beside your notebook on your desk and stood up from your seat. 
A quick stop at the nurse's office wouldn’t hurt anyone, right? It would benefit your studying session and get rid of your pain quite easily.
That was the only exception to your Book of Rules when it came to studying. Nothing else.
Jungwon shot the ball into the hoop, his hair and necktie flowing with his every movement. His uniform sleeves were rolled up, cuffed around the skin above his forearm, helping his gameplay style quite well.
Baekseung smiled at his friend, high-fiving him in the process. 
“Nice one! They won’t beat us at this rate.” He said, looking at the scoreboard that read 17-9. Maybe he wasn't exaggerating it like every other time.
Jungwon grinned, his dimples showing faintly. It wasn’t an all-tooth grin, more toothless. His lips were pursed into a thin line and his cheekbones were nearing his under eyes. It was enough to show his appreciation for his friend’s compliment.
His forehead was becoming a slightly sweaty state, causing his previously parted bangs to clump together and loosely stick to the damped skin.
There were 8 more points until the match was done. They didn’t have much time to play 4 full quarters, so they made a bet; first to 25 wins. 
Sadly, no rewards could have been won by the players, making this Basketball game more enjoyable than competitive. 
Jungwon didn’t have enough time though, he would almost need to return to studying quite soon. Seriously, he couldn’t fall behind someone like you.
“Baek,” Jungwon whispered, hoping it was enough to gain his friend’s attention who stood across from him on the court, but it wasn’t enough at all. 
“Baekseung!” Jungwon called while raising his voice a bit over his usual tone. The said boy looked over with widened eyes in shock.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Jungwon said, fighting back a snicker at his friend’s startled state.
“Well, I have to go now. Tell Min I said bye too.” He said and walked past Baekseung, patting his shoulder as a way of saying goodbye. 
As he walked out of the gymnasium doors, he shook his head, causing his hair strands to move around, some still sticking on his forehead.
He stretched his limbs and began revising the lesson from earlier. 
The hallways were empty, leaving him with more of a quiet atmosphere to focus on his thoughts. 
Jungwon’s lips moved, soft whispers of equations and problems leaving them. If there were other people here, they would give him the dirtiest looks right now. He most definitely looked psychotic. 
Luckily, there wasn’t anyone. Yet.
The sound of the door sliding shut caught his attention and he looked up to see where it came from. 
The nurse’s office was always a popular spot in their school, so it wasn't a shock that someone was leaving the room at this exact moment. 
Surprisingly, it was a shock to him. He never thought you were the type to leave your desk ever.
Your brows furrowed at the sight before you. 
A sight of disgust.
Yang Jungwon was the last person you wanted to see with your throbbing migraine. He was all sweaty, his hair glistened from the sweat droplets that stuck onto the strands, his necktie was loose, his uniform was dishevelled, and his face was a light shade of red due to the hotness of the gymnasium.
He looked disgusting.
Jungwon had no clue as to why you were glaring at him. He wasn’t the reason you ended up visiting the nurse’s office, so why were you giving him such a dirty look?
He should be the annoyed one at this exact moment. After all, you were the one who moved to Earl View Academy and ruined his ‘perfect’ life.
He looked back at you with a confused yet irritated expression on his features as the two of you stood in silence.
Jungwon’s eyes looked over your appearance, noticing how your hand was propped against your chest and holding an item he had seen before.
Your eyes followed his gaze and then widened at realisation. Out of reflex, you hid the painkillers behind your back, not wanting to come off as weak towards him.
You couldn’t let him see you as someone who wasn’t that much of a threat to his academic success. 
In silence, you turned around, moving the pill bottle to your chest again, and made your way back to the classroom. For some reason, your movements aggravated Jungwon’s previous calm state.
God, he hated you so much. He couldn’t believe he once thought you were pretty—it would be a lie if he said he still didn’t. That didn’t matter though, you could be pretty and still have a snotty attitude. 
That was a perfect description for you.
Although you thought you left Jungwon behind in front of the nurse’s office, to your dismay, you didn’t. 
There he was, standing at the doorway of your once previous quiet study room—or in other words, your homeform classroom.
You rolled your eyes after noticing him at the doorway and looked back at your notes. 
He ignored your response to his presence and took a seat at his desk near the window. Jungwon slipped his hand into his backpack, grabbing his pencil case and notebook in the process.
A tense silence followed the two of you as you flipped your pages in sync and continued writing down more things in sync.
You were pausing more than he was due to the pain in your head which only slowed down your movements even more. Yes, you planned on taking the painkillers, but not when he was around.
Still, you couldn’t hold back. You had to do it or else you wouldn’t be able to study one bit. 
Although the painkillers mentioned eating a meal before intaking the pills, you refused to follow the instructions. You had no time to take a break and find something to fill your stomach, especially when you were already falling behind Jungwon’s studying pace.
You reached for your bottle of water off your desk and popped a pill in your mouth, scarfing down water right after. 
Jungwon looked up at the sound of pills shaking in a bottle. It was obvious it came from you, you were the only other person in the classroom.
It seemed like the basketball to your head earlier really took a toll on you. He didn’t blame you though, it truly did sound like it hurt.
Except, that wasn’t the only thing he noticed. Even if he was in one place all lunch, it seemed like you didn’t leave your seat at all. It was kept the exact same like he last saw it before lunch time.
Luckily, the sound of your stomach growling was enough to answer his unsaid question as he watched your ears turn a shade of red.
As much as you tried to pretend that didn’t happen, you were tremendously embarrassed. Still, you couldn’t eat. 
Not yet at least.
“You didn’t hear that.” You mumbled, hoping it was loud enough for Jungwon to catch. He hummed in response while eyeing his work, not paying much attention to your silly incident. 
He knew how embarrassing it could have been, so it was best not to engage. 
Thankfully, God was on your side, ringing the bell a few seconds after Jungwon had hummed. 
Soon after, students began flooding into the classroom and heading to their seats in loud crowds. 
Therefore, your quiet time with the last person you wanted to spend it with, had ended. 
RANK THREE. 
“Jungwon and (Name), please come up and answer the questions on the board.” 
Great. 
It was only 10:30 AM on a Wednesday, and yet you were already going head-to-head with your rival.
Jungwon confidently made his way to the chalkboard and picked up a piece of chalk from the ledge. 
You, on the other hand, paused for a moment after getting up from your seat. You were suddenly feeling lightheaded, and that was never a good sign.
However, if you didn’t make it over fast enough, he would for sure beat you in a blink. And so, you did. You rushed over and picked up a chalk stick, then began writing.
It was a simple equation to you, but to everyone else who didn’t understand the lesson, it wasn’t. It was way more complex to them than how it really was.
Jungwon was already halfway through answering the question whilst you haven’t even started. You wrote the given values on the side to keep track of the numbers you would use. 
Easy, right?
Not quite. 
You couldn’t focus at all even if there were no distractions nor was it loud in your classroom. 
The only thing you could hear was the harsh sounds of Jungwon pressing his chalk against the board after he reached a new step. 
Your ears became sensitive to any sound, causing you to even take note of the rhythm his piece of chalk followed when gliding against the blackboard. It was irritating you and annoying.
As much as you wanted to stop him from writing, you couldn’t because it was impossible. Your hand wouldn’t move one bit. Your vision became blurry, eyes fluttering shut and opening in a pattern. 
“I think I’m going to faint.” You whispered, your words falling deaf on all ears, aside from Jungwon’s.
He didn’t pay much attention to your sentence, brushing it off as a dumb remark about his handwriting or something. 
Truthfully, his calligraphy wasn’t the best when it came to using chalk, so you wouldn’t be wrong if you were to say something mean about it. He would only end up agreeing in the end.
Everything stilled for a brief moment before you lost your feeling in your hands, dropping the piece of chalk you held, and falling against the hardwood floor right after.
Gasps were emitted from your classmates—ones you couldn’t even hear—as Jungwon stilled his movements at the loud thud which caused him to flinch slightly.
Jungwon looked down as he still pressed the chalk on the board, his eyes widening and blood draining from his face at the sight.
“(Name)?” Your teacher called, hurriedly making her way towards your unconscious figure. However, there was no response.
“Hey, Jungwon, you were on the track team last year, right?” Ms. Ling asked as he nodded, swallowing and hoping the nauseated feeling in his stomach would disappear.
Spoiler alert—it didn’t. 
“Could you run her to the nurse’s office, please?” She asked, leaving the boy with no other choice but to say yes. If he were to say no, he would seem like a villain, and he couldn’t let that happen.
“Okay.” He mumbled and placed the chalk on the ledge before crouching down, slipping an arm under your legs, and wrapping one around your back for extra support.
To his surprise, you were awfully light. A little too light for an average person. It was quite concerning.
Jungwon shook his head, making all his thoughts disappear in the process. He had no time to waste, he had to get you to the nurse’s office quickly—his teacher’s words, not his.
He slid open the door with his foot, shocked that he even managed to succeed himself, and placed you on an unoccupied bed.
Mrs. Oh, the nurse, emerged from her office with a concerned look after noticing the rush Jungwon was in. 
“What’s wrong?” She asked before seeing you who lied unconsciously on the bed. 
“She fainted a few moments ago in class.” He explained while running a hand through his hair, followed by a sigh.
“Fainted?” The nurse asked and made her way to your still figure, reaching out to touch your pulse points.
“I don’t think it’s a fatal issue. Just hang around for a bit, I’ll run some short tests then you can tell your teacher why she fainted.” Mrs. Oh said as Jungwon nodded. 
He could just ask for the notes from Minji after class. 
A few moments later, Mrs. Oh returned with a clipboard in her hand and a concerned look on her face.
“Is it bad?” Jungwon asked, slightly worried about her response.
“Oh, no.” Mrs. Oh said, reassuring the boy, then opened her mouth to say something else.
“Thing is, she hasn’t eaten for the last two days.” 
What?
RANK FOUR.
Jungwon walked down the hallways of the school, heading to the vending machine nearby. Mrs. Oh’s words replayed in his head many times. It had been a day since your visit to the nurse’s office, but he was still hooked on Mrs. Oh’s discovery.
He didn’t know why he cared that you hadn’t eaten for two days. That was your problem not his.
Yet, he couldn’t help but feel quite worried about your health. How the hell were you still at his level of academic achievements even if you weren’t eating to fuel your brain?
It was crazy. Not even he could survive an hour without a small snack to keep him going. So, how did you even manage to survive?
More of Mrs. Oh’s words flooded through Jungwon’s head, mainly focusing on the fact she put him in charge of making sure you were eating.
Was it not obvious you two hated each other? Well, maybe not since you were fast asleep, but to him it was.
What the hell was he supposed to do to monitor your food intake? Buy you snacks and drinks from the vending machines at their school? 
Actually… that wasn’t such a bad idea. It could work for him, but would it work for you? Would you even accept his offers?
You were hard to work with in the first place. There was no way he would follow upon Mrs. Oh’s request. That was your problem and only yours. Not his.
Nevertheless, that didn’t explain the fact he was currently punching in the number two into the vending machine, expecting two granola bars to follow through the hole.
Of course, it wouldn’t be enough to fill him up this lunch, but he had no other choice. He was already exhausted enough from playing football outdoors, leaving him with no more energy to wait in line for food in the cafeteria.
He grabbed the granola bars and made his way to room 116—his home room. 
He was excited for the peace and quiet he was about to experience. Nobody ever came to school this early. It was 7:30 AM after all.
School started at 8:20 AM. 
If you were to show up at the bell, he could save the granola bar until lunch and give it to you when the room was empty.
Nobody could know that he was interacting with you, especially not after you two made it clear you wanted nothing to do with each other.
“Oh, hey, Jungwon! It’s been quite a bit since I saw you first thing in the morning.” A faculty member said, greeting the boy. He smiled at the teacher and nodded.
It wasn’t a lie. Jungwon always came early, yes, but he never went straight to class. He was either shooting hoops in the gym or doing his morning jog around the track in the field.
The September breeze blew the trees outside as Jungwon watched the leaves sway while walking to class. The windows in the hallways were wide, emitting a bright light into Earl View Academy.
It really suited the vibe he was going for.
But you didn’t.
Jungwon noticed your focused figure, his mood dropping immediately. He was glad you were okay, but not glad that you were in class.
He wanted alone time today, nothing else.
Jungwon put on a straight face, avoiding eye contact with you while walking to his seat. He swiftly placed the granola bar on your desk and moved away as if he didn’t.
You looked down at the granola bar, then to the boy who walked away in silence.
Before you could say anything, he was quick to silence your ‘irritating’ voice.
“Just eat it. Mrs. Oh is making me monitor your meals even if I don’t want to.” 
He said without any other explanation. You looked back at the granola bar, hearing Jungwon sit down and begin opening his snack due to the loud rustling of the wrapper.
Instead of doing the same, you pushed the granola bar to the side and returned back to your studies. Once again, your ‘Book of Rules’ said no meals until you were done reviewing.
Jungwon opened his notebook, flipping through the filled pages to find an empty one and begin his studying. He was holding the granola bar in one hand and eating at the same time.
It wasn’t hard at all, which only confused him since you weren’t doing the same.
“Aren’t you going to eat it?” He asked, but you ignored him, staring into your notebook in silence. 
The boy scoffed, looking out the window in disbelief. He doesn’t even know why Mrs. Oh trusted him with this ‘task’. He couldn’t say no though, he would have felt guilty to face her again.
Honestly, he was still shocked at the news from yesterday. What did she mean you didn’t eat for 2 days? 
Was this an often routine of yours? Was that why you were so concerningly light when he carried you? You were always studying and never seemed like you took any breaks, which only left him wondering.
Seriously, did you ever eat?
“What?” You asked, stiffening and turning around to look at the bow. There was a look of annoyance present on your face, only causing Jungwon to stare back in confusion.
“What?” He questioned back. Why were you looking at him like that even after you blatantly ignored him a moment ago?
“Why is it your business if I ever eat or not?” 
Hold on. Did Jungwon think aloud earlier? Was that why you were acting this way?
“I…” He said, fumbling over his words. Truly, how should he respond to that? You weren’t wrong about it not being his business to care—even if you didn’t say that. 
He didn’t want to care if you did or not. Still, he couldn’t explain why he was so curious about it. 
“Mrs. Oh told me in the nurse’s office that you fainted because your last meal was two days ago…” Jungwon began as your brows furrowed.
“So? Why should you care if that were to happen or not?” You asked.
Once again, you weren’t wrong.
“You’re telling me, you wouldn’t be a little bit concerned about someone who hadn’t eaten for 2 days?” 
“If it was part of my business, sure, but if it’s not, then no.”
Jungwon pursed his lips, unsure of what to say next. He tried to think of it, but it ended up coming out on his own. He would definitely regret this later.
“Why?” He started.
“Why do you do that?” 
You remained silent and so did he. There was an obvious tension in the air and the both of you felt it easily.
You averted your eyes away from his overpowering gaze, suddenly feeling all fragile due to his sudden question. 
“Mind your own business.” You mumbled before turning around to face your desk again. 
Normally, you’d return to studying immediately, but this time you were quiet as you stared at your notebook.
You always had answers for questions. Always. However, nobody had ever asked you a question like that, and for some reason, you couldn’t find an answer for it.
Jungwon sighed and shook his head. He didn’t blame you for not answering and getting all defensive instead. It was a question that could pry into anyone’s private life, and obviously, you two were nowhere near a basis like that.
“At least eat the granola bar. I don’t want Mrs. Oh on my ass about anything.” He said before picking up his pencil and writing on his plain notebook. 
At the sound of his words, your gaze shifted to the pink wrapper on the granola, noticing how it was strawberry flavoured, one of your favourites. 
Maybe you could reconsider eating the snack he got you even if it was going against your rules. It was obvious he wouldn’t leave you alone if you didn’t.
You unwrapped the granola bar, making sure to not crush the treat inside as the bell went so suddenly.
You were both shocked at how much time went past at such a fast pace as a certain thought crossed your mind.
It was time to start another school day.
RANK FIVE.
Ever since that day, Jungwon continuously dropped you off snacks in a discreet manner. 
Although you never wanted to eat them, he made you. Your secret rule was slowly being forgotten because of his actions.
“Hey,” he called from his window seat, causing you to remove an earbud from your ear.
“Are you allergic to anything?” 
“Why?” 
Jungwon stared at you in silence. Were you really asking him that question?
“So I don’t get you anything that’ll kill you…” He said in a tone of disbelief, but you didn’t react.
“Why are you still doing this? Mrs. Oh must’ve forgotten about my visit by now. You can stop.” 
You turned away and continued writing in your notebook, leaving Jungwon baffled.
He hated how you were never wrong. Mrs. Oh definitely forgot about your visit from a few weeks ago, but Jungwon couldn’t stop his habit of giving you snacks. 
Why?
“You’re telling me you rather faint continuously?” Jungwon asked, halting the hand that went to put your earbud in your ear.
“That’s not a healthy habit. Seriously, you’re going to end up visiting the ER next.”
“As if that hasn’t happened before.” You mumbled and successfully put your earbud in your ear.
Jungwon’s face contorted in confusion, unsure of what you had said. It didn’t seem like the remark he expected, but he shrugged it off. 
Whatever.
“Jungwon!” Baekseung exclaimed, running up to the boy and hugging him from behind.
Jungwon stumbled over his feet at the sudden embrace as Minji chuckled from behind the two.
“You’re acting like you haven’t seen him in a decade.” She said, crossing her arms once she reached them.
The hallway they stood in was empty—aside from the 3 being there. 
Jungwon wasn’t even aware that he was in the hallway at the moment. His mind was elsewhere when he left the classroom.
Yes, he said he didn’t care about what you said, but he secretly did.
Did he hit a nerve or did he hit one of your soft spots? For the last few weeks, it was obvious there was a lot to you that nobody knew of, yet, Jungwon was close to finding them out.
He felt bad due to your reaction from earlier and a few days ago. Maybe he should really watch what he says from now on.
“What’s up? Do you have your head up in the clouds or something?” Baekseung asked, teasingly.
Jungwon shook out of his thoughts and looked at the boy.
“That was terrible. Never say that again.” He said, causing Baekseung to frown and Minji to laugh.
“Still, he’s right. What’s up with you lately?” Minji asked.
The three walked down the hallways, passing time before their next period started. 
“What do you mean what’s up with me?” He asked, confused at their questions. 
“You’re constantly spacing out today. Plus, you’re never running or playing basketball outside in the mornings either. I haven’t seen you for a bit every time I arrive at school.” Baekseung explained.
“Dude!” He exclaimed, tapping Jungwon’s shoulder to bring him back from his trance. 
Jungwon looked over at Baekseung, startled from the harsh tap.
“What was that for?!” He exclaimed.
“You were doing it again. Seriously, what’s up with you?” 
The three remained silent upon Baekseung’s question; Minji and Baekseung waited for Jungwon’s response while he thought of one.
What the hell was he supposed to say? 
“Is it her?” Minji asked, chiming into Jungwon’s thoughts.
“Your rival.” She added after seeing Jungwon’s confused face.
He didn’t reply to her question, instead he stayed quieter than ever. Not a peep came out of his mouth. They were almost sure he stopped breathing too.
“So it is! I knew it. Pay up, Baekseung.” Minji said with a bright smile on her face while holding her hand out in front of Baekseung.
Baekseung frowned, glaring at Jungwon as he reached into his pocket for the 10 dollar bill he promised Minji. She looked at the buck, facing the light in case it was fake.
“It’s not fake!” He exclaimed as she chuckled. 
“You never know.” Minji said and slipped the $10 into her pocket.
“Wait, you guys placed a bet on me?” Jungwon asked in disbelief.
“Well, yeah. I bet that you liked (Name) and Baekseung said you were just hooked on your university applications.” Minji said, leaning closer to Jungwon. 
“He knows nothing about love.” 
“I do!” Baekseung blurted, embarrassed at Minji’s remark. She looked over at her and shushed him with a finger on his lip.
“No, you don’t. Just accept that.” 
Jungwon shook his head, still shocked at what his friends managed to do. Why would he even be hooked on his university applications if he was 100 percent sure he’d get accepted?
Plus, liking you was definitely out of his range. Wait, liking you?
“I don’t like her! What made you ever think that?!” He exclaimed, his hands flying up in defence. 
“Yes. Yes, you do. Don’t fear it, Jungwon.” 
Minji looked over at the boy with a teasing smile. Jungwon was a little terrified at the look Minji gave him with her finger still over Baekseung’s lips.
She truly seemed psychotic. 
He began speed walking away from the two with hopes that he could escape the so-called assumptions. How would Minji know he liked you before he even knew himself? 
Pfft, she was completely wrong.
Jungwon looked at the board, writing his last bits of notes with small diagrams to go along with them. 
He was starving, but luckily, lunch was soon. 
Speaking of lunch, he wondered what snack he should bring you today. You refused to tell him what you were allergic to, so he couldn’t just get you anything.
He looked up from his notebook, stealing a glance at your seat.
Well, he thought it was your seat, but instead, there was someone slouched over the desk instead.
He continued looking around for you, maybe you switched seats without him knowing? 
No, that couldn’t be it. He saw you in the same seat this morning before classes. So, was it really you who was slouched over the desk?
That was surprising. You were always the one to be over the top when it came to education, yet, here you were knocked out mid-lesson.
“For homework, please complete pages 4 and 6. Enjoy your day everyone!” The teacher said while closing their lesson planner and leaving the classroom.
The bell sounded, signalling that lunch had begun while Baekseung and Minji took that as a chance to bother their friend, Jungwon.
“Hey!” Baekseung cheered, sitting down on the window sill like always.
Jungwon looked up at the boy with a smile as Minji turned around in her seat. 
“Seems like you don’t have much of a competition anymore.” She said, silently hinting at the girl who was fast asleep—you.
Not even the bell woke you up. You must’ve had a rough night then.
Even if it had been 5 seconds since Minji spoke, Jungwon’s eyes never left you. He was genuinely concerned for your wellbeing.
“Baekseung, didn’t you say you wanted to go to the fast food restaurant nearby for lunch today?” Minji asked, looking up at the boy who stared back in confusion.
“What—” 
Minji silenced him with a light slap on his leg, sending him a glare and mouthed the words ‘play along.’
“Oh, yeah! I’ve been craving a burger all day.” Baekseung blurted while nonchalantly rubbing on his leg and dragging out the word ‘all.’
“Jungwon, did you want anything from the fast food restaurant?” Minji asked and looked at him.
But he was still stuck in his trance. 
“We’ll get him fries.” She whispered to the boy on the window sill. The two left as quietly as they could, leaving you and Jungwon alone in the classroom.
He observed your silent state, watching how your back raised softly as you breathed. The sunlight from the windows shined on your face, making your eyelashes more visible than others.
You looked so peaceful and so relaxed. It was the first time he had ever seen you this calm and not stuffing your head in your notebooks, rubbing at your temples in a stressful way, harshly sighing and placing your pencil down when you were feeling tired or didn’t understand the formula. It was a great sight.
Jungwon was so focused on you that he didn't notice the smile on his face.  
He was smiling because of his arch nemesis. Well, could he even call you his arch nemesis if he cared about you so much?
Probably not.
The vending machine beeped as the four items hit the bottom of it. Jungwon reached down to grab the items and made his way back to class.
Was he out of his mind for still getting you snacks? Possibly. But he couldn’t stop himself, it became a habit of his. 
At least you never wasted the snacks he got you. There was one point of the day where you would eat them casually, not even paying much attention to the item in your hold. It became a habit of yours too.
Eventually, the rule became forgotten, but only at school. It still affected you at home.
You woke up in a panic. The classroom you sat in was empty, just like your notebook. The one you significantly chose for the subject.
You looked around, eyes squinting at the bright light from the uncovered windows, taking in the fact nobody—not even Jungwon—was with you. 
Great. You were so behind—something you hated.
You panicked, looking at the board to only be met with erase marks of today’s lesson. There was no way you could scavenge with something so little. 
Out of habit, you looked down at your desk and rubbed at your temples with your fingers, more stressed out than ever.
You couldn’t fall behind nor could you fail. That was your worst nightmare. Did your parents care if you were to fail a class or fall behind? Not at all. They only cared about you and your health, yet you hated that.
Honestly, growing up, you tended to be naturally good at the things you did. Your parents were, of course, super proud of you, but you didn’t think it was enough. 
You never thought anything was enough.
So, studying continuously, fainting continuously, and even starving yourself continuously became a natural routine of yours just to seek academic validation.
If you weren’t at the top of your class or your studies, you weren’t sure how your future would turn out. You would probably end up lower than ever.
No wonder you were so frustrated with yourself. How could you slack off, let alone fall asleep all class? That was so not like you. 
You were very disappointed.
The feeling of a sudden coldness on your arm made you jolt. You looked up, wondering where it came from, only to notice the boy who stood before you, Yang Jungwon.
You both looked into each other’s eyes—for the first time, you weren’t glaring. Your vision was quite blurry because of the tears that threatened to fall while he could see you perfectly fine. 
He nonchalantly placed the beverage on your desk followed by the poptart. He then made his way to his seat and sat down silently.
You stared at the two items on your desk, holding back your tears. There was nothing about the bottled coffee or the poptart that made you emotional, it was yourself and Jungwon.
You were jealous of him.
The more you attended Earl View Academy, the more you noticed how everyone adored the boy. Everyone, including staff members.
He made friends quite easily and got along with anyone possible.
However, you were the complete opposite. You had your own circle which consisted entirely of yourself and your studying materials, nothing else.
You rarely conversed with anyone, but when you did, it was always harsh. Things easily ticked you off, causing you to confront the so-called things pretty quickly.
Due to this, you were never envisioned as someone who was approachable. Even if you were on top of your studies and understood everything going on, not even many teachers took a liking to you.
It was rare to see one that did. 
There were a few times where you tried to maintain certain friendships, but they all ended quite fast. Their reasonings were always the same—you never had time to hang out with them, but you always had time to study.
They eventually fell tired of you and left you behind to befriend someone else. They always regretted even trying something with you because it always turned out to be a ‘waste of their time.’
Jungwon placed his opened notebook on your desk so you could copy down the notes he took in class.
“The homework is page 4 and 6 today. If you don’t understand anything, I could explain it to you if you want.” He said before walking back to his seat. 
He shouldn’t be this helpful to you. You two were ‘rivals’ after all—something you both silently yet mutually agreed on. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help himself. Even the sight of your tear filled eyes managed to make him feel a bit hurt.
He probably wasn’t even the cause of it, yet he felt like he was.
“How do you do it?” You asked, catching him off guard. He looked up from his phone and at the back of your head because you refused to face him in such a vulnerable state. 
“Do what? Oh, the work? Hold on, let me—”
“Not that.” You said, interrupting him as he halted in his tracks.
“…Then what?” He asked hesitantly. He genuinely had no clue what you meant. Either Jungwon couldn’t read between the lines, or he was just too stupid.
“How do I be like you?” 
RANK SIX.
Jungwon stood in silence, stunned at your sudden question. He was never asked such a thing from someone like you. 
Children were always the one to ask him that exact question, which only left him with one possible answer every time.
“You’re already like me. Smart and strong.”
It was very cringey, but every child felt confident after hearing his words. Still, you were nowhere near a child, so how could he respond to your question?
“What do you mean?” Was all he could think of. He didn’t want you to seem weak or anything, so he kept it simple and short.
Maybe an elaboration would help him with an answer next time.
“You’re so… perfect. All staff members and students adore you, or even look up to you. You always balance your time, making enough space to hangout with your friends and study at the same time. You’re athletic, smart, most likely a great son, and your parents are probably so proud of you for maintaining the top student rank continuously.” You ranted, leaving him flattered and quite flustered but confused at the same time.
“Perfect?” He asked, genuinely curious about what made you think that. 
“Yes, you’re so perfect. I’m jealous of you.” You added, finishing off your sentence while turning to face him. 
“You’re jealous of me?” 
Truly, in Jungwon’s eyes there was nothing about him to be jealous of. He had his own ups and downs, but managed to keep his composure around his friends and many others.
“Honestly, (Name), you’re fine the way you are. Yes, you have some unhealthy habits, but that doesn’t mean they can’t change.” Jungwon said while walking towards the seat in front of you. 
“I wouldn’t say I’m perfect either. Of course, I’m going to sound a bit cringey, but all of us have things we don’t show. Like, I could’ve cried on my way to class.” 
“Did you?”
“Did I do what?” Jungwon asked while taking a seat. 
“Oh. No, that was just an example. I would never cry where people could see or hear.” 
His eyes slightly widened as he raised his hands up in defence. 
“I didn’t mean you shouldn’t! Do whatever you feel comfortable with.” He said, hoping he didn’t offend you.
You used your sleeves to wipe away the few tears that managed to fall, then looked at the boy in front of you. 
“I don’t know why I’m about to tell you this, but I really need to get it off my chest.” 
“Go on,” Jungwon said in a soft voice.
Although he waited for you to speak, you hesitated. Could you even trust him? You two started off as rivals, and still were rivals, but didn’t show it as much.
Whatever, speaking your mind wouldn’t hurt.
“Honestly, it’s not that I need to be on top of my work for my parents to adore me, they do. They very much do and show it every day, but it’s me who thinks it is not enough.” You said.
“I believe if I’m distracted, I won’t be able to achieve my academic goals to the fullest, you know?” 
Jungwon nodded even if he didn’t get what you meant. He understood achieving your academic goals, but not to the point where he couldn’t do so if he were distracted.
“I mean, yeah, but considering eating meals or taking breaks as a distraction isn’t good for your mental health—or your health in general,” Jungwon explained as your eyes narrowed.
“Are you scolding me right now?” 
“Quite literally.” 
You rolled your eyes at Jungwon’s words, waving them off as if they meant nothing. 
“Pretend this didn’t happen. Tell anyone, and I’ll make sure your life in Earl View Academy is almost unbearable.” You threatened, sending daggers at the boy.
“How so?” He asked, curious as to what tricks you could pull.
“I’ll beat you on every test, I’ll beat you on the final exam, and even make sure you don’t get accepted into University of Seoul.” 
“Okay… However, in return, you have to at the very least tell me what you’re allergic to.” Jungwon said with pleading eyes.
You were shocked that was all he wanted in return. He really wanted to know what you were allergic to, but why? What good would that bring him if he knew what you could and couldn’t eat?
“Why are you so curious about that?”
“Dude, you really want me to end up killing you?” His words sounded like he was joking, but he wasn’t.
“No… I could just eat what I know I can and what I know I can’t.” 
Jungwon continued to stare at you, waiting for you to give him the actual answer he wanted. You sighed and gave into his silent begs.
“There’s nothing.”
He remained quiet, his head tilting like a lost cat.
“There’s nothing that I’m allergic to. I’ll eat anything.” You informed the boy as he held back a smile.
“Perfect.” He whispered before grabbing the notebook he gave you earlier.
“What do you mean by perfect?” You asked, causing Jungwon to glance at you with a slight smile on his lips.
“You’ll see.”
RANK SEVEN.
To be honest, yesterday you went home wondering what Jungwon was hinting at.
He pretended as if he had never brought up anything and proceeded to teach you today’s materials. It was annoying.
Yes, you wanted to know badly, but begging wouldn’t even get him to tell you anything. 
You adjusted your name tag while looking in the mirror, wondering what else you should fix up.
There was 5 minutes before you had to leave for school. Five minutes before you would get to see Jungwon.
You had no clue why you were a bit excited to see him. Usually, you never were. It was weird.
Part of you was glad he listened to what you had to say yesterday, it felt nice to get it off your chest. However, the other part of you felt ecstatic and let your heart thump even at the thought of seeing the boy.
What happened to the part of you that deeply hated him? 
You couldn’t start liking Jungwon. At least, not when there was a possibility that he still hated you or saw you like his competition.
Right?
Jungwon stretched his limbs before reaching down to tie his laces. It had been a while since he ran around the track in the morning. He wanted to see if he still had it in him. 
He couldn’t let his stamina fall because of his so-called continuous studying habits. It was also a great way to get his mind off of things, for example, you.
After yesterday’s conversation, for some reason he felt terrible about what you said. Was it his fault? No. But obviously, there was a time and place where he was in the same boat as you.
Trust him, it wasn’t the best.
This morning, he woke up extra earlier than usual because he had a lot to do—cook. He hand picked a recipe he believed you both would enjoy, and cooked all morning so it was nice and fresh by lunch.
It was way better than constantly getting snacks from the vending machine. Now, you could actually gain nutrients while eating. 
He was very excited.
But why? Why was he excited to share a meal with you? There wasn’t anything going on between, aside from your quiet studying times halfway through lunch, the conversation from yesterday, and the times you two have been paired up or went head-to-head in class.
Other than that, what was there to really be excited about?
Jungwon slowed down his pace, then leaned over while placing his hands on his knees to catch his breath.
Or was he just excited to see you? What was the meaning of all this? 
Were you the reason his heart raced as if he did his morning runs whenever he was in class? Were you the reason he was always planning what he wanted to buy the two of you on his way to school? He rarely ever did that when you didn’t attend Earl View Academy.
So, were you really the reason?
You took a seat at your desk, pulling out your studying equipment—a normal routine of yours. You always arrived at the same time, 7:30 AM, with Jungwon arriving a little after.
Shockingly, even with 5 minutes passing, he didn’t appear. That was odd, he was always on time.
You shook your head, brushing off the fact he hadn’t arrived yet. The things he taught you yesterday were the only materials you had to review this morning.
You couldn’t fall behind so easily. 
When you went home, you decided to take a break. A was a rare sight since you were always studying all night and all morning, nobody could stop you.
But for some reason, Jungwon was able to change part of your ‘unhealthy’ studying habits. At your old school, it was impossible for that to happen. Not even your short-term friendships changed anything.
It was the same old ‘Book of Rules’ you followed with no updates. 
The door slid open, showcasing an exhausted Jungwon. He walked over to the seat in front of you and placed the two snacks in an empty spot on your desk then took a seat.
It wasn’t at his actual desk, instead, it was the one in front of you. 
“Why do you seem so tired?” You asked, noticing his droopy eyes.
“I ran around the track today. It’s been a while since I’ve done it, so I guess I pushed my limits.” He explained while yawning. He stretched his arms before examining your desk; there was a partially empty space at the edge of your desk. 
It looked like it could fit most of his arms and head.
“Can I?” He questioned while gesturing at the spot from earlier. You nodded, not giving him any other reaction. 
Your heart was already racing from the ‘close’ proximity he provided. You had to keep it lowkey.
“Thanks. Wake me up a few minutes before the bell.” He said and dozed off to dreamland.
The classroom fell silent, the only thing being heard was the rustling leaves from the wind that travelled through the sky, your pencil gliding on the piece of paper you wrote on, sounding like music to Jungwon’s ears.
It was a relaxing sound. Not even close to irritating.
There were moments where you snuck in a few glances, noticing the way his face looked peaceful and less irritating than when he was wide awake. His breathing was at a usual pace as his back rose and fell at his command.
He was quite the pretty sleeper.
The formula of your work suddenly started to not make any sense. You searched the article you were looking at, realisation only hitting you a bit after.
You were working on your English, not Math. No wonder your formulas weren’t making any sense. Clearly, with how close Jungwon was to you, it was obvious you couldn’t think straight.
How often did someone mix up English work with Mathematics? It was never that often, and yet, you still managed to make the mistake.
You picked up your highlighter, forgetting about the embarrassing situation from earlier, and began highlighting simple concepts that you would need to remember when answering the questions.
Without you knowing, 30 minutes of silence passed between the two of you. You were surprised he didn’t wake up from the sound of your beating heart, because to you, it was quite loud.
You hesitated on waking up the boy in front of you. He was sound asleep. What if he woke up cranky? 
Still, he requested for you to wake him up a few minutes before the bell. He wouldn’t be mad if you did so, right?
You softly placed your hand on his shoulder and gently shook him at a slow pace. There wasn’t much momentum, however, it was still enough to wake him up.
His eyes slowly opened, eyeing the area he sat in.
He could barely see, eyes still blurred with his sleepiness. Jungwon blinked a few times before looking in front of him, spotting your shocked figure.
“Morning.” He mumbled, his words cutting short because of a yawn. He stretched his arms before looking over at the clock.
It was only 8:20 AM. It always shocked you how students weren’t filling up the classroom around this time. They always arrived at least 5 minutes before the bell. Even if it was shocking, it was quite satisfying how everyone was still on time.
“What’re you working on?” Jungwon asked, slightly curious about the reason you held a highlighter. 
“English,” you muttered. He hummed at your words and continued to inspect your desk.
“You didn’t eat?” He asked, pointing at the neatly kept snacks. It looked the same as when he first gave you them. 
You shook your head. You completely forgot about the snacks. Instead, you were more focused on calming your racing heart, so it wouldn’t have woken him up.
“Eat. At least three pieces before the lesson starts.” He said. The snacks he brought the both of you were a small packet of animal crackers. One of Jungwon’s favourites as a child.
You paused for a moment, debating if you should follow through with his request. He was staring at you, once again, causing you to feel fragile under his gaze. There was no way he would stop if you didn’t eat.
You placed your highlighter down and grabbed one of the two packets. Hopefully, that would help his strong state.
Honestly, you couldn’t help but feel taken care of because of Jungwon’s acts. Your parents were amazing to you. There was no doubt about it. Still, with Jungwon, there was a new feeling you’ve never felt with anyone else.
At your old school, you wouldn’t even have a chance at something like this. If you fainted, there was only a tiny bit of shock from others. It happened very often because of your bad habits that it became so natural to those who studied and worked there. 
But if you were to faint around Jungwon or anyone else in this school, they would be very worried. The nurse at Earl View Academy even instructed Jungwon to watch over your eating habits. 
At first, you didn’t like the idea of having a so-called babysitter, but eventually it felt nice to know someone possibly cared about you. He started off as your number one threat, and became the person you looked forward to seeing most. 
To him, you started off as someone he could never trust and his one and only arch nemesis, and became the person he watched over and enjoyed being around. 
Well, look how the tables turned.
“Also,” Jungwon said, chiming into your thoughts. Your attention was then focused onto the boy who stood up from his previous seat with his animal crackers in hold.
“You’re doing great.” He said as the bell rang as if it were completing his sentence. 
He sat in his assigned seat at the window while students began filling up the classroom. Maybe they were a little delayed today, but your heart for sure wasn’t.
You were concerned as to why Jungwon’s words had such an effect on your wellbeing, judging from how fast your heart rate was going.
You didn’t even know it was possible to experience such a rush of adrenaline. Your face felt warm as you recalled his words. 
Was he perhaps referring to yesterday’s incident? 
No matter what the reason was, you’ve never been told something like that. It was always about taking a break and slowing your pace. Even mentioning how you were trying too hard and needed to pay more attention to yourself.
But the words ‘you’re doing great’ were different. It felt like they were filling a void in your life that you didn’t even know existed. 
Whatever it was, you were thankful. 
Thankful for Jungwon. 
Jungwon watched as the ball ricocheted off the rim of the net, sighing in disappointment. 
“Gosh, straighten up.” Baekseung said and tossed the ball back to his friend.
The trio stood inside the empty gymnasium, shooting hoops for fun, until it became serious. Baekseung was quite literally concerned for Jungwon’s wellbeing.
He was missing every one of his shots. 
“You do remember he did Track and not Basketball like you, Baek, right?” Minji asked while flipping through the pages of her book. 
“I mean, yeah, but he’s never this bad.” Baekseung replied, emphasising his words.
“I’m literally right here.” 
“Oh, my bad.” 
Minji chuckled at the two, looking away at her book while placing a bookmark between the two pages she stopped on. 
“Won, what’s on your mind?” She asked. 
Great, here comes round two.
“I swear we didn’t put a bet on anything this time. Feel free to tell us anything.” 
Jungwon sighed, letting himself loose. It was now or never. He needed to settle things, so he could peacefully continue along with his day.
So… 
“How would you confirm your feelings for someone?” 
RANK EIGHT.
Minji blinked her eyes in silence as Baekseung held the basketball in his hand with a dropped jaw.
Judging by their reactions, it was obvious they didn’t know what to say, leaving Jungwon feeling embarrassed.
“Nevermind, forget I said that.”
“No, no.” Minji said, shaking her head.
“We were just… stunned, that’s all.” She reassured Jungwon who’s ears turned a light shade of red out of embarrassment.
“Is this about a particular someone?” Minji questioned, slightly wanting it to be you. 
She had been noticing the difference between Jungwon’s behaviour now and the first time you arrived. Nowadays, he was always looking at you with adoration in his eyes instead of an intense glare.
It was definitely different between you two.
“You know who it is, don’t you?” Jungwon asked, judging by her expression. It looked like she was holding off on saying something. She was terrible at hiding her expressions.
“Wait, I’m so confused,” Baekseung chimed in, dropping the basketball and making his way closer to the two.
“It’s (Name), right? The atmosphere between you two is so much different than before.”
Jungwon remained quiet upon Minji’s words. She wasn’t wrong, but she was very observant. Even Jungwon hadn’t noticed the change between you and him.
“Your silence is the only answer we need.” Baekseung said with a sly smile. 
What? Who wouldn’t act the same way after finding out his best friend had a crush on someone?
“It is…” Jungwon mumbled. 
“Okay. First question is… how do you feel when you’re near her?” 
Oh. 
Well, that could go a long way… There was at least a list of possible feelings, so where should he even start?
“Tingly. I feel tingly.” He said, recalling the moments he was with you.
To be honest, he was shocked you hadn’t realised how red the tip of his ears were when he fell asleep in front of you. It was almost an impossible process for him to sleep, but he managed.
“Sometimes, my ears become warm and my heart flutters at the sight of her smile or if I were to make her laugh…” He paused, thinking of more things to say.
“And—”
“Yeah, you definitely like her.” Baekseung interrupted with a shock yet disgusted look on his face. 
“I do?” Jungwon asked, looking at the boy with wide eyes. 
Baekseung nodded, causing him to look over at Minji who only did the same as Baekseung in return.
“Are you ever going to tell her?” Minji asked, opening up her book once again. 
“I’d embarrass myself terribly. We’re still kinda rivals in some way. Wouldn’t it be weird if I were to suddenly confess my attraction to her?” 
“Okay, Shakespeare, what the hell do you mean by attraction?” Baekseung asked as Minji chuckled. 
“He means feelings, Baek.” 
“Oh… That makes sense. I say do it, what is there to waste? You only live once.” He explained as Jungwon rolled his eyes.
It was a corny saying he had been told all his life, but they were never wrong. Things always turned out good for him if he at least tried them. Therefore, it wouldn’t hurt to profess his love for you, right?
“Jungwon, it’s 11:30, don’t you have to go now?” Minji questioned after checking the time on her phone.
“Ah, right. Thanks Min, thanks Baek.” He said before smiling at them and leaving. 
To be honest, Jungwon was expecting a longer explanation to his feelings, but comparing these moments to a book, it was awfully obvious that he liked you. It must’ve flown past his head the first time. 
You stared at the clock, awaiting Jungwon’s arrival. This was the first time you had caught yourself doing something like this. Usually, your head would be stuffed in your notebook right now, but after discovering these possible feelings for the boy you spend lunch with daily, things have changed.
Your habits must’ve been one of them.
There were moments where you glanced at the door, hoping that he would appear after every glance, but he didn’t. 
“Sorry.” A voice emitted from the doorway, heavy panting followed through. Your head whipped over, noticing the boy you were waiting for all this time. He looked up from the floor, making straight eye contact with you.
He was subtly sweaty, making it obvious that he ran here. Yes, it was a disgusting look, but to you…
He looked disgustingly handsome. It was odd, very odd, that the look made your heartbeat race. You couldn’t deny it, you definitely liked Jungwon. 
“You’re late.” You said in a teasing tone. You could care less if he was late or not, but it was fun to joke around with him.
“I’m aware.” Jungwon joked back while walking towards his seat.
“Are you hungry?” He asked while reaching into his backpack. You stayed silent, not sure how to answer that question. 
“Be honest.” He said in a serious tone and grabbed the meal he cooked this morning. 
“A little bit.” You replied as he took a seat in front of you. You eyed the containers he placed on the empty space, causing you to move your notebooks aside to create more.
He opened the containers one-by-one, leaving you stunned with every single meal. Once he was left with one container, he looked up to see your reaction, smiling at your childish look.
“Does it look good?” 
His question brought you out of your trance, causing you to straighten up immediately.
“Yes. It looks great.” You said as Jungwon chuckled at your response. You observed the 3 containers, noticing the different aspects of each; one had greens while the others didn’t.
“Oh, I wasn’t sure if you liked greens, so I separated them just in case.” He explained while pointing at the container you stared at.
You nodded at his words and hummed in amusement. Maybe you were only a tad bit hungry before, but now, you were starving. 
“You don’t have to wait for me, you can eat.” Jungwon said, gesturing at the meal in front of you two. 
You looked at him once then down at the utensils, hesitantly reaching for a spoon. Jungwon picked up on this and grabbed your hand, flipping it over while grabbing the spoon that laid on the napkin. He then placed it into the palm of your hand and looked into your eyes.
“Don’t hesitate, it’s fine.” Jungwon said and flashed you a smile, his dimples catching your eyes immediately. 
Well, maybe you weren’t hesitating on eating anymore, but you were definitely still hesitant about something…
Confessing your feelings to the boy before you.
Yeah, that could wait.
RANK NINE.
Two days ago, Jungwon had a talk with his two friends. He was reassured about his feelings for you, finalising them to a certain extent.
Today, he claimed he was ready to confess. He wouldn’t back away from doing so, and plus, there ‘wasn’t’ much time until graduation (it was 7 months away).
Of course, it was a lie. He had to make an excuse to be able to push himself to tell you how he really felt.
You, on the other hand, thought the same. But, you weren’t sure how you would approach him in a way where it wouldn’t be as awkward as you imagined.
Still, that would have to wait for the perfect time today. You couldn’t mess this up.
As your teacher spoke, your head became drowsy. Your notes seemed messy due to your eyesight blurring and nothing was comprehendible.
You shook your head, an attempt to regain your composure, but that didn’t work either. 
“Okay, everyone. I’ll leave the rest of this period for individual work time.” Your teacher said even if there was only 5 minutes before lunch. 
“Soccer today?” Baekseung asked Jungwon who wrote in his notebook. 
He nodded at his friend’s request, causing the boy to smile. It had been a while since they went to play soccer and not basketball, so it would be quite fun to reminisce about the past. 
The bell went, making 5 minutes feel like 30 seconds. To others it must’ve felt long, but to you, it felt short. You couldn’t focus on anything around you, not even the time. The throbbing headache that made its way into your system, as well as the nauseating feeling was all that occupied your mind.
Nothing else.
Not even the fact Jungwon was standing beside you right now. 
“You alright?” He asked. You looked up at him, your head spinning at the movement. It was quiet in the classroom, hinting at the fact there was practically nobody left aside from the two of you. 
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lies. You were far from feeling ‘fine’. However, you couldn’t let him worry as much as he did about your eating habits.
You managed to flash him a convincing smile as he did the same. The gentle pat on your head before leaving felt comforting knowing it was from Jungwon and no one else. 
“I’ll be back.” He said as he walked out the classroom, leaving you alone in silence. 
You weren’t able to tell if the heat that crept up your neck was from his subtle action, or the developing fever that made its way towards you. Honestly, you could care less. It wouldn’t stop you from studying anyway.
And, well, maybe preparing your confession for the said boy.
The mesh of the net ricocheted as the ball glided against the barrier. The goalie was on the floor, the outcome of his failed attempt at blocking the ball.
“It’s okay! That was a good try.” A teammate reassured while helping the male up on his feet. 
Once the ball was thrown into play, Baekseung scanned the area, searching for an open target to send the ball to. Teamwork was all that mattered when playing sports, so, why not include everyone even if he could shoot the ball himself?
You looked out the window, noticing the view of the many boys who kicked around a soccer ball. It wasn’t the best view, but you were still able to see a few faces—Jungwon’s especially.
Most of you wanted to get a closer look. It would be nice to take a short break from studying, right? It couldn’t hurt your academics that much…
You rose from your seat, head spinning once again. It was unbearable, but you’ve experienced worse. 
See, you’ve definitely experienced worse. So, why were you on the verge of passing out, once again?
You stood in front of the window sill Jungwon’s friend, Baekseung, would always sit on. Your grip tightened the ledge, losing balance in your legs. Your vision became even blurry than before as your mind became foggy.
Yeah, you were definitely about to knock out cold. There was no way you would manage to stay conscious. 
A moment after coming to terms with the fact you were about to faint, your body hit the floor, leaving the space between two desks occupied. 
Your eyes were slowly closing as the warmth of a hand was placed on your face. Ears ringing, making anything that person said incoherent.
It was a terrible feeling. Maybe you should’ve gone to the nurse’s office at the beginning of your fever.
Yeah… Maybe.
“It’s 11:30, I have to go.” Jungwon said after checking the time on his watch. He waved goodbye to those he played with on the field, then looked at the classroom window, a smile making its way to his face.
Now it was time for 30 minutes with you. 
But where were you? He scanned the empty classroom, yet you were nowhere to be found. Your stuff wasn't there either.
You weren’t there.
He was confused. You never left your seat, no matter the reason. So, where could you have gone?
Jungwon had no clue where he was going, letting his feet take him wherever. Suddenly, he was in front of the nurse’s office. Not even he knew why he was here. 
Without hesitation, he slid open the door, a wave of nostalgia hitting him. Except, you weren’t in his arms like before.
“Oh, Jungwon. What brings you here?” Mrs. Oh greets almost immediately. That was a great question.
What brought him here? 
“I’m not sure.” Jungwon said, not knowing what else to say. It wasn’t his fault he didn’t know. 
“What do you mean?” She questioned, confused. That was the first time she received an answer like his. 
The boy stared at the nurse in silence. It was awkward for her, but not for him. 
Seriously, why was he brought here?
“Is… Is (Name) here?” He asked. Part of him regretted letting his so-called question slip out while the other part hoped you were here.
Other than that, he wouldn’t have any other ideas about where you could possibly be right now. 
“Oh, yes, she is. Were you looking for her?” Mrs. Oh questioned, a slight smile plastered on her face.
Jungwon nodded, not wanting to say anything else. He already embarrassed himself enough.
He followed the direction the nurse pointed in, heading to where you were supposedly lying down.
“Apparently, she fainted in class again. One of your classmates brought her over… Turns out she had a raging fever.”
So, he wasn’t hallucinating the pained expression you gave him at the start of lunch. 
At the sounds of his footsteps, you turned around fast, pretending to be asleep.
“I saw you.” Jungwon said, pulling your curtains aside.
“Nice try.” He took a seat beside you as you bit your bottom lip, eyes squinting in defeat.
“Are you feeling better?” 
You turned around at his words to face him. The damped cloth that rested on your forehead slowly slipped off, causing him to catch it.
“A little bit.” You said as he adjusted the cloth. 
You weren’t lying about it being a little bit. At least you were now able to move.
“Did you take medication?”
You nodded, noticing the fact he was only going to continue asking questions about your wellbeing.
“I heard you fainted… Are you sure you’re okay?” He asked, the worry finally sinking in.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I got up to look out the window, but I guess I overestimated my ability.” You said with a light laugh.
“Why would you get up to look out the window if you were already feeling unwell?” He asked with furrowed brows.
It was only common sense, you should’ve made your way to the nurse's office. Not somewhere to admire scenery.
“Are you lecturing me, again?” You asked, referring to the conversation in the classroom from a while ago.
“Yes. You need to take care of yourself more.” 
“But if I said I was trying to watch you play soccer, then what?” 
Jungwon felt his heart skip a beat. 
Okay. Maybe you got him there. 
“T-That doesn’t matter. Your health comes first.” He mentally cursed at himself for stuttering. Your words must’ve taken a toll on him.
“You’re boring.” You said before looking away from the boy.
To be honest, this would be the best time to confess, right? 
Mrs. Oh had left the office a while ago, meaning it was just the two of you left alone. 
When would Jungwon ever get another opportunity like this one?
“Listen,” he started, gaining your attention all over again. You look over at him, waiting for him to continue his sentence.
“I know grades are important, but your health is too. Please prioritise your health as well, okay?” Jungwon paused, hesitating with his next words.
It was now or never.
“I don't want to fall in love with a corpse. It’ll be better if it were just you.”
You stared at the boy, stunned. You couldn’t tell if your temperature was rising or you were flustered by his sudden confession.
An awkward silence followed through, as he felt his heart sink. 
Did he just mess everything up?
“Anyways… have you drank anything yet?” Jungwon asked, switching the topic really fast.
“No…” You whispered. 
He nodded his head, pursing his lips and patted his thighs.
“Okay. I’ll go get you something.” He said before rising up from his seat and leaving quite fast.
You felt bad. If it were a confession, you just left him hanging.
Jungwon pushed the buttons on the vending machine with pressure. He was embarrassed. 
Very embarrassed.
He didn’t want to show himself in that room ever again. The atmosphere was definitely still the same as before—awkward and unbearable.
Maybe he shouldn’t have taken his friend's advice. He could’ve saved himself from experiencing this sort of regret.
The sound of the juice boxes falling from their designated spots caught Jungwon’s attention. He whined at the sound, not wanting to go back at all.
Still, he couldn’t keep you waiting. 
His plan of pretending nothing happened was now set in motion. It wouldn’t be that hard to forget the previous interaction, right?
“I hope you like orange juice—”
“Was that a confession earlier or was I going crazy?”
So much for pretending nothing happened.
He stumbled in his tracks, he was nowhere near your bed yet.
“Was it?” You asked, quite literally pestering a response from him.
Jungwon mumbled something to himself. Something along the lines of hoping he doesn’t mess things up further.
“Yes, it was.” He said, a heavy sigh following through.
Although his sigh sounded stressed, yours sounded relieved.
“Oh, that’s good. I thought I was the only one.” You said, causing Jungwon to make his way to your bed even faster.
“What do you mean?” He asked, his hands carrying the juice boxes and a confused expression on his face.
“Is it not obvious?” You asked, but he remained still.
Clearly, it wasn’t.
You sighed, disappointed that he couldn’t read between the lines with that brain of his.
“I like you too, Jungwon.” 
RANK TEN.
“It really happened?!” Baekseung exclaimed, shocked. Jungwon covered his mouth with a hand, not wanting the whole world to hear about yesterday’s interaction.
“Then what?” Minji asked.
“It’s a secret.” Jungwon said with a teasing smile. Minji rolled her eyes at his response. It definitely wasn’t what she wanted to hear.
The classroom door slid open, gaining his attention quickly. You walked into the classroom, holding your books to your chest.
A smile of adoration made its way to Jungwon’s face as you looked over at him, smiling. 
Minji observed the interaction with curious eyes.
“What the hell? Never do that again, please.” Baekseung said, removing Jungwon’s hand from his mouth.
“Wait so… Are you guys, well, dating now?” Minji asked.
“Woah, no.” He said, raising his hands up in defence.
“So, you guys just confessed to each other and that was all?” She asked in a more hushed tone since you arrived.
Jungwon nodded. 
Minji was about to say something else, but the bell rang, cutting her off before she could even start. The teacher walked in, addressing everyone to return to their seats. 
You smiled to yourself and pulled out your phone to send the boy a text.
“Nice one.” It read with a smiley emoji. 
Jungwon’s phone dinged, causing him to look at it. A smile made its way to his face as he read the message. 
He was lying to his friends the whole time. Yes, that was bad to do, but it was the best way of keeping your official relationship with each other a secret.
They could know you two confessed to each other, but not that you were dating. 
To be honest, Jungwon never saw this coming. He always thought you would be someone he hated because he never knew it was possible to meet somebody who was at his level.
He truly thought he was dreaming when he first saw you and learned about that information.
But right now, he was thankful he wasn’t and was thankful that you were someone who he fell in love with.
Ξ ©HAKNOM, 2024
627 notes · View notes
chiquititaosita · 3 months
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⁺ 𓂋 𓈒 ♡ daycare/ girl dad! gojo hcs ⁺ 𓂋 𓈒 ♡
taglist @imissyuuji @honeybleed @roronoaswifey @eloteg1rl @abbyslev @hangespublicist @zorosdimples @mommypieck @bratphilia @cookiepie111 @ginger4sugar @sanjisblackasswife @noritopia @c0pkiller // also please comment to be in taglists :)
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- send help for this man immediately
-he’s super fucking attached that his baby is going to daycare
-he cried taking her there and waited in the parking lot crying for two hours.
-you and him are nervous but are super excited about it
- y’all even have baby girl in the most adorable outfits!
- always checking on the online documentation on the infant teachers. And asking about incident reports “which baby did it?!”
- the minute she plays with the other babies that are girls she always sharing, however if it’s a boy she pushes them out of the way.
- during missions sometimes he takes babygirl out with them. and literally says to his students. “Yep, I made this pet sperm.”
-“correction she is the boss, not me. She’s my twin..”
-holds her in the baby carrier. “sorry we got dance class!- Megumi you’re in charge.” runs off speeding with babygirl in arms
- one day he brought babygirl into daycare with a uncoordinated outfit and messy pig tails because she was not having it. Even having a diaper on backwards “sorry ladies I’m really color blind.” He fucking lied.
-he’s also happy for milestones
- pick up time he always gets her before closing. 2:30 to be the earliest. The latest 4:00 “Hi my love bug!!” He’ll exclaim and there your daughter will be having the biggest smile on her face. The baby HATES being there till closing.
- he’s super happy now that he gets art from his little princess. “My baby is an artist.” He lets out a fake tear.
- when he gets baby girls clothes that are from outfit changes he gags. Yet he kills curses for a living. How is thiS GROSSING HIM OUT.
- always takes his time for the baby.
-when you come home from work. And you see the baby girl. You’re so eager to hug your baby. But baby girl is already saying. “Dada!!” And you just feel jealous but happy she’s saying words and babbling
- then picks up the baby. And dances with her. “Cha cha cha - cha!” Oh little girl laughs like an angel
-spitting image of gojo with your personality
- cried the first time when you took the baby to the newborn class. because his paternity leave was over.
-always gags at diaper changes even though he kills curses for a living.
- “why is her poop black?”
-“ because she was just born.” His eyes are in shock. he even grabs the baby on the stroller, and is actually good at doing hair.
- always loves seeing pictures and videos of his baby. Even some with his two only girls in his life.
-“mama dada.” Were her first two words
- babysitting with the students jujustu tech, it’s hilarious.
-“what does she want?!” Yuji will scream panicking and crying with the baby, because the baby is screaming for a nap.
“Bottle?” Nobara will be trying to make a bottle of formula, and then scream beginning to bite the two of them. Even when diaper changes.
-“check her diaper.” So Megumi bring the good big brother he is finds out it’s a diaper rash.
“WE DIDNT KNOW!!” Actually Megumi knew he just wanted to watch his friends suffer. Never will you let them babysit only under nanami’s supervision. Y/n will sigh. “It’s alright, she’ll be okay.” You hug your baby girl.
Meanwhile in the toddler stage… that’s for part two
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cranberryjuice-posts · 2 months
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I’ll crawl home to her
Pairings - Abby Anderson x Fem! Teacher! Reader
An - i love this trope of Abby with a teacher like, her coming home after a long day of patrolling and clearing out infected and her just wanting to be in your arms and hear about your day
An pt 2- hozier is slowly taking over my life him and mitski will be my downfall
Palestine aid link
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Abby leaned back in the bed of the truck, her cheeks bright red from exhaustion and the heat. The setting sun blaring down on her and her group after a long day of patrolling.
She hated days like these. Having to leave you before you woke up, just to be out all day until the sun set. Manny chuckled “ahí va ella” Abby looked over at him unamused. “What’s that supposed to mean”
“Nothing Nothing Just pointing out something” he continued. The blond sighed annoyed before looking behind her at the fast moving scenery. Secretly she wondered what the world would of been like if it hadn’t ended— would she of met you, would you both of still been happy, maybe you would of met her dad.
Pushing that thought aside Abby lifted her hand waving at the guys on guard to let their group into the base. Once off the truck she avoided multiple people to not get stuck in conversation.
After turning in her guns Abby made a b-line straight for your apartment. The only thing that really mattered to her right now was to be at her home. In your hallway she hesitated before opening your door. Letting out a tired sigh she walked in.
“And that’s what I’ve been saying, I told Julia that it doesn’t matter if back in her day if—“ you stop mid conversation with Mel to see Abby standing in the doorway.
Mel took note of Abby’s exhausted appearance, patting your shoulder “I’ll see you tomorrow ok” she gave you a soft smile before leaving. Once mel was gone you opened your arms waiting for Abby to walk over.
Abby quickly pulled you into a hug taking a deep breath in just to take in your subtle perfume. “Rough day” You asked leaning back some to take a good look at her worn out face. “Yeah, just.. a lot” she sighed.
You nodded leaning up kissing her gently before stepping down, grabbing her hand and walked her over towards your bed. Abby swore up and down your kisses were the sweetest thing ever— so sweet she would get toothaches.
Setting Her on the bed you silently grabbed your first aid kit to help clean some of the cuts on the girls arms and body. Not once asking her about the people she had killed, or even wondering about the wrong she had done, only wanting to help take care of her. “Shit abs your running a fever” you frowned pulling your hands away from her forehead. “I’m gonna make you some tea ok” kissing her cheek you walked towards portable stove you had recently got preparing a fresh pot of tea.
Abby admired your figure from afar, the long grey military sweat pants that didn’t quite fit you as they were Abby’s, your dark bra and how you had your hair pulled up. She had always liked when you wore your hair naturally down but didn’t mind seeing it pulled back either.
You started to hum a lullaby as you turned the stove on. Slowly moving back and forth Abby almost thought you were nothing more than a dream, like you were a figment of her imagination.
Returning back to the blondes side you helped her out of her clothes— giving her a clean set that you had lying around from earlier times she stayed over.
After a few minutes you placed some of the tea in a mug, handing it to abby you started to stitch up a deep cut in her bicep. It amost made Abby cry how you never worried About what her hands and her body had done, never asking about who or what she had killed, only ever concerned about her no one else
Once she was taken care of you took the now empty cup from her and set it aside. Pulling the covers back you laid down in bed, taking your bra off mainly because you knew Abby liked the skin on skin connection. Waiting for the blonde to strip out of her shirt, you laid down allowing her to fall ontop of you.
You started to undo Abby’s braid as she lightly kissed along your collarbone. Raking your fingers through her hair you started to whisper. “I get it sweet girl.. I get it, it’s ok”
Massaging the girls head you started to tell her about your day. Soft and sweetly showing Abby your love “So I had taught my class about world history today, and we had—“
Abby started to doze off quickly falling asleep. Even if she had died on an assignment No grave could hold her body down she’d still crawl home to you.
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dilatorywriting · 1 year
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Heroes vs. Villains : The Staff
Platonic GN!Reader x NRC Staff vs. RSA Staff Word Count: 2.7k
Summary: Woe to the Ramshackle Prefect, being caught up in the drama between the Disney Villains and their respective heroes. NRC Staff Version (Part 1: Crewel and Crowley)
ie. Headmaster Crowley is a nightmare, and Professor Crewel is, well, cruel. And to be perfectly honest, after meeting another dog-loving professor who doesn't treat you like absolute garbage, the Royal Sword Academy is starting to look a lot more appealing.
[PART 1] [PART 2] [PART 3] [PART 4]
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‘Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me!’
Crowley had chirped that very sentiment to you ad nauseum, with all the enthusiasm of an old raven eyeing a shiny penny.
“Do you really believe that?” you sniffled, angry, as you sat slumped over in one of his rickety office chairs.
People at this stupid school were mean. And yeah, school yard insults and casual accusations of being the House Wardens’ little bitch were one thing—but these assholes would go right for the throat. All of your insecurities—your fears—all laid out like a nice spread of hors d'oeuvres ready for the picking. You had endured enough sharp barbs for a lifetime, and the fact that your glorious Headmaster and self-proclaimed parental figure kept writing it all off as a ‘learning experience’ was driving you mad.
“Of course I do, dear child!” he beamed. “What sort of educator would I be if I didn’t practice what I preach! Words are but the wind, as they say!”
You nodded, sage, and shot him a smile so sugary sweet it could rot the teeth right out of his skull.
“I wish I’d never met you and I hope that all your feathers fall off one by one,” you chirped. “And I use the ‘Number One Child’ mug you gave me to scoop water out of the toilets when the plumbing fails.”
Crowley’s mouth fell open with a nearly audible clunk, and if he weren’t so wrapped up in all kinds of immoral, black magic, bull-shittery, you would have liked to imagine that maybe that had been the sound of his heart cracking in his stupid, embroidery-covered, chest.  
You popped up from your chair and breezily made your way to the exit. You propped yourself up against the intricate, wooden, frame and clapped your hands together like a bubbly preschool teacher addressing a room full of particularly dull children.  
“I’m glad we could get that out in the open in a completely pain-free way. Words really can’t hurt anyone!”
You managed to slip the door closed just as he started to wail.
.
.
That afternoon you made your way to Professor Crewel’s office, as had become your routine. It was nice. Sometimes you would help him grade papers, sometimes you would just nibble on fancy cookies and listen as he ranted about the incompetence of certain staff members which shall not be named.
Sometimes his dogs were with him in the afternoons—a pair of giant, lithe, wolf-like beasts that were most certainly of a very proud and expensive lineage. Jasper was the black one and Badun the white, and each had a coat so glossy and well-maintained that they could put your own hair care to shame. Badun was enthusiastic, charismatic, and would bound to greet anyone who entered. Jasper was more quiet, reserved, but he was secretly your favorite of the duo. Whenever you stopped in after classes, the shadowy hound would lumber over and rest his giant head in your lap.
“No puppies today?” you called when you were greeted with silence rather than a wave of happy kisses.
“They’re in for their groom,” Crewel mumbled, busy at work with his head bowed over some lab reports or other. Normally he would grouchily correct you that his two precious pooches were adults. Dogs. And should be addressed as such. He must have been really distracted today. Or maybe you were just wearing him down.
You settled into the lovely, plush, chair off to the side that you had long since claimed as your own, and set your bookbag on the floor by your feet with a thump.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence with nothing but the sound of scratching ink over paper to break up the monotony, Professor Crewel dropped his head into his hands with a miserable sort of sigh.
“You should not have spoken to Crowley as you did.”
You blinked, startled. “What?”
“I of all people understand how frustrating the Headmaster’s antics can be,” Crewel continued, firm. “But you are still a student of this Institution—and one in a precarious enough position as it is. So you need to be mindful of your tongue.”
Indignation roiled through your gut, followed by a sharp prick of disquiet that you couldn’t quite place.
“Then he should be mindful to treat me like a student and not some—some pet project,” you huffed, kicking irritably at your patched backpack for want of nothing else to do. “And besides, what’ll he even do? Expel the one person in this entire college who mops up every single one of his messes? And I mean, it’s not like he’s running around the school crying or anything. I wasn’t that mean.”
Crewel pinched the bridge of his nose and you paused, mouth parting in surprise.
“Oh come on, he did not.”
“In the name of preserving our esteemed leader’s dignity I will say no more on the matter,” he grit out, and you fought the urge to immediately whip out your phone to message Ace, and Cater, and every other rabid gossip you could think of.
“Well, maybe he deserved it,” you snipped, crossing your arms stubbornly across your chest. A bit of cautious warmth spread through you and you nervously plucked at one of the loose threads on your uniform sleeve. “And besides,” you mumbled. "He can cry about me calling him a shitty father all he wants. You’ve been way more of a dad to me here than he could ever try to be.”
“I beg your pardon.”
You froze, fingers locking in place around the picked-apart edges of your jacket. The ice in his voice was unfamiliar and entirely unpleasant. It sent a frigid wave of worry curling through your veins. Had you overstepped? You’d thought—You’d just thought—
“I-I mean,” you spluttered. “I only meant that, well… Uhm… You’re really nice to spend time with. A-And, I just…” He made you feel like you were home again. Like even though Ramshackle was empty and cold, that you could still walk into this little office and say ‘I’m back!’ to an actual, real-life person and not just the shadows that lived in your foyer.
“Let me be perfectly clear, Prefect,” he sneered. There was an undercurrent of hostility running so sharply through every word that you were left wondering frantically if you’d unintentionally trampled over a sensitive topic. You hadn’t thought it was a big deal. You just—you just really, really looked up to him. And felt safe with him. And—And—
‘I’m sorry,’ you wanted to say. But instead you just let out an odd kind of choked squeak.
“I have no intention of playing parent to anyone,” he snapped. “Let alone an untrained brat who can’t even be bothered to play civil with the people who do attempt to care for them.”
Ouch.
“R-Right,” you spluttered, swallowing around the burbling lump in your throat and the warmth prickling along your lash line. “O-Of course. I’m sorry for assuming. I—I… uhm…”
‘I’ll just go then.’
But just like with failed apology, those four little syllables just couldn’t seem to make it past your lips either. So instead you just shakily snatched your bag from the floor and bolted from his office, burrowing your stinging cheeks as far into your collar as they would go. The last thing you needed to do was give anyone at this stupid school any more ammunition against you. And ‘Cry Baby Prefect’ sounded like another nasty nickname that would stick to you like gum to a flat-heeled shoe.
It’s fine, you whispered to yourself, voice wobbling far more than you would have liked. Grim hated when you came back smelling like dogs anyways.
.
.
“My goodness, are you alright?”
You blinked, harried, and glanced around yourself properly for what felt like the first time in hours. You were… not on campus anymore. Huh. What a trip. You’d never been so upset that you’d blindly run off into an entire new town before. But you supposed there was a first time for everything. You did remember feeling too nauseous to return to your little hovel for the evening, but you hadn’t really expected your frantic pacing to take you quite this far out of the way.
“Hello? Can you hear me?”
Oh. Someone was talking to you, weren’t they?
Standing in front of you was a tall, lanky, man in a tweed jacket. He was stooped down a bit to make eye contact with you, and those hazel eyes were creased with worry. His blonde hair was pushed half-off his forehead in a style that looked more haphazard than intentional, and the hand he was offering you was littered with splotches of ink. There were patches of white and black dog fur littered across his entire outfit like some horrible fashion statement, and the thought of puppies made your throat tighten up all over again.
“My name is Cliff Rogerson,” he said, steady and kind. “I’m one of the instructors at the Royal Sword Academy. Are you lost? Do you know how to get home from here?”
Do you know how to get home?
You laughed once, manic, and then promptly burst into tears.
“Oh, dear,” he sighed, his heavy brow furrowing low with concern, and patted you consolingly on the shoulder. “Oh, dear.”
You were herded into a nearby café and directed into one of the quiet, corner, booths. The lights were soft and fuzzy in here, and the pleasant warmth of fresh pastries brushed gingerly along your frayed nerves. Mister Rogerson pressed a steaming mug of hot chocolate into your hands, and placed a delicately wrapped muffin off to the side of it. It was a tempting offering, and you decided to unbury your head from your hands long enough to partake.
“So how did you end up out here, if you don’t mind me asking?”
“I’m a student at Night Raven,” you mumbled into your cocoa.
You could tell he was doing his best not to look shocked, which was at least a dozen steps above the way the rest of your stupid school would just gawk at you in outright consternation.
“Forgive me,” he smiled, gentling his apprehension into something that was more polite curiosity that anything. “But you don’t really seem like one of their usual pupils.”
So you explained your situation—the Mirror, and the magiclessness, and the homelessness. You talked about your friends, and your new demon cat/evil baby, and how much you missed stupid things like good shower pressure and fuzzy socks. Mister Rogerson listened to all of it with an attentive sort of sympathy that you hadn’t seen since, well, probably since you were dropped face-first into a school full of burgeoning war criminals.  
“That sounds like a time and a half,” he said once you’d finally tired yourself out. “I’m sorry you’ve had to go through all that.”
You picked at your muffin. It was ridiculously fluffy and eating it felt like pulling bits and pieces out of a cloud. A very, very delicious cloud.
“Forgive me for saying so,” he hummed, pensive. “But your situation doesn’t sound particularly safe.”
You laughed. “That’s one word for it.”
Mister Rogerson frowned, another twitch of that uneasy worry playing across his face. He ruffled around in his jacket pocket for a moment and pulled out a neat, cream colored, business card.
“It may be overstepping of me to offer, but at the same time I do think as an educator it’s my duty to try and help every student that I can,” he smiled, kind. It crinkled the skin around his eyes. “The RSA is not overly far from Night Raven College. If you ever want to stop by—if you ever need an ear to listen, or just a space to get away from it all—my door will always be open to you.”
You took the little piece of paper carefully, like it was something precious. There were swirls of colorful music notes splattered across the backdrop of it—raucous bursts of neons that were as endearing as they were ugly.
‘Tacky,’ spat a too-familiar voice in the back of your head. ‘What sort of statement was this lowlife trying to make?‘ You could practically feel the phantom distaste emanating from wherever a certain two-toned professor had camped out for the evening.
Probably at home, you thought bitterly. Because he has a home, right? And you are not at all upset that you will never be welcomed into it. And that you will probably never get to cuddle his puppies ever again. Nope. Not at all.
You swallowed the little burst of unpleasantness that accompanied the train of thought, and pocketed the card with a smile.
“Thank you. I’ll definitely have to take you up on that.”
.
.
.
Divus Crewel was many things, and unfortunately, being as cruel as his namesake was often one of them. He glanced back to the clock ticking on his wall for what was perhaps the dozenth time that hour. You hadn’t been by since his—ah—outburst a few weeks prior.
He had perhaps reacted a bit more unpleasantly than he normally would have. You’d just… caught him off guard was all. It was a bold declaration you’d made, and what? Had you really expected him to be overjoyed by the idea of forced parenthood? To swoon over the notion that someone had decided to latch onto him and his perfectly pressed suit like a leech despite the fact that he was so obviously thriving in his life of solitude?
And it wasn’t that he expected you to take his biting comments lying down. Oh no. You were fierce, and determined, and were most likely on your way here to bang down his door demanding recompenses for all your suffering. There was a tray of those too-expensive cookies you liked tucked away in his top drawer. Just in case you did show up and throw one of your tantrums, and he needed something quick to pacify you. That… That was all.
But each day that he waited for you to sneak back into his office was another spent in quiet solitude. Badun had taken to whining at the door and Jasper hardly got up from his bed at all—just tucked his black nose into his equally black paws and stared straight into Crewel’s soul. Like he was judging him.
He caught himself glancing at the clock again and forcibly turned back to his work.
This was ridiculous. You were ridiculous. And stubborn. And so, very, danger prone. Had something happened maybe? Was that why you’d disappeared—because you’d gotten caught up in some sort of trouble again?
Tick. Tick. Tick. Tick—
He looked back at the clock.
Tick. Tick. Tick—
His office door flew open with a BANG and he swiveled in his chair, ready to chastise you for making such a ridiculous entrance. Instead, he ended up nearly nose-to-nose with a weeping Dire Crowley. The man wailed into his clawed hands, looking very much like he might accidentally stab himself in the eye all the while.
“HOW AM I SUCH A FAILURE OF A PARENT?!” he bawled. “WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE TO PREVENT THIS?!”
“What?” Crewel gaped, head spinning. “What’s happened?”
Crowley let out another inhuman squawk and shoved a piece of parchment into the alchemist’s crimson-gloved hands. It was torn at the top, likely from where it’d been pinned to something before the raving Headmaster had swiped it. Crewel read over the familiar script with narrowed eyes, something unpleasant twisting in his belly.
‘The Ramshackle Prefect kindly sends their regards, but unfortunately has other commitments for this evening. Please contact Professor Cliff Rogerson of the RSA music department in case of an emergency.’
“MY BABY LEFT ME!” Crowley sobbed, nearly inconsolable. “WHO’S GOING TO DO MY TAXES NOW?!”
The leather of Crewel’s gloves groaned in protest as his hands tightened into fists—his nails biting into his palm even through the sturdy material.  
“What do we even do?” the old crow lamented, sounding so genuinely crestfallen it was almost unnerving.
Jasper and Badun circled their master’s ankles wearily, eyes bright and lips twitching with nervous whines.
“I think,” Crewel grit out, the note crumpling between his fingers, “that it’s well past time that we have a chat with the Prefect about the importance of personal safety. And of the consequences of running off with strangers.”
.
.
.
4K notes · View notes
mvltisstuff · 6 months
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teenage fever - p.p **
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summary: peter helps cool his girl down after she gets in trouble at school
peter parker x reader
smut warning pookies 🤭
“got detention today, don’t have to drive me home :(“
peter saw the text the second it arrived, happy to see y/n’s name flash upon his screen. however, his face matched the emoji she put when he noticed what it said.
“what happened? i’ll pick you up and we can head back together after, okay?”
she left a little thumbs up on the message. “i’ll explain later, i’m just annoyed rn”
so, he waited in the parking lot for her. he never minds waiting for her, especially when it’s as rare as this. she never gets in trouble, she’s always been a good student, so he’s completely lost as to why she’s being punished. he sits in his car on his phone for a bit, still pondering why she may have gotten detention.
he saw her walk out of the back doors of the school, heading toward his car with her bag slung over one shoulder. he could instantly see the frustration on her face, and was ready to listen and be the best boyfriend he could.
she walked up, opening the door and sighing as she sat in the passengers seat. “you’ll never fucking guess.”
“i really don’t think i could,” he replies, looking into her face that almost has a smirk on it.
“my shitty calc teacher, right?”
“mhm, go on.”
“she reported my outfit to the office and gave me a detention for being disrespectful about it. all i said was that my outfit was fine! people wear shit like this all the time, and suddenly it’s a problem when i do it?”
peter realizes that he hasn’t gotten a good look at y/n today. at least he hasn’t seen her around school when they have this schedule. so, he takes his time now to scan the outfit that the math teacher supposedly hated.
her hair was pulled back lightly, a few pieces left out in the front. it shaped her face beautifully, the face peter admires every day. he looked down to her top, it was white with thin straps, the ends almost going into a corset-type of look. her waist was perfectly shaped, the one that peter always runs his hands down when standing beside her. the top pushed her boobs up as well, complimenting her lovely round breasts and cleavage that she showed. her shorts were just under her belly button, the dark blue showing off her hips and the way her thighs looked. he tried to sneak by a peek to her ass, turning peter into a hormonal freshman again. he takes in her entire figure, thinking about all the times he’s touched it, kissed it, pleasured it.
“you good?” y/n asks, her brows furrowing when they notice the blank stare on peters face. “babe, stop staring at my boobs, i’ve had enough of that today.”
“sorry!” he exclaims. “i think your outfits good- or hot- well you always look beautiful no matter what you wear.”
“thanks,” she smiles, seeing through his act. just by the way she looks at him, peter can feel himself getting warmer. every single time she fans her lashes while she looks up at him sends goosebumps down his arms, leading to his crotch as he shuffled uncomfortably in the driver seat. “you’re so funny sometimes.”
“what?” he asks.
“i just turned you on by stepping into this car, peter. don’t act all innocent on me,” she tells him, tilting herself more angled toward him. he notices the way her arms get closer together, pushing her tits together and peter can feel himself getting harder. “wow, maybe my teacher was right. maybe i am too distracting.”
she pulls a grin onto her face, letting her hand rest on his thigh. he shivers lightly, placing his own hand on top of hers. she places a hand on the side of his face, pushing his lips against her own. just by kissing her boyfriend, y/n could almost forget about the trouble she was in. she’d do it all again if it lead her to this, though. his hand brushes against her knuckles, lightly floating her hand over his sweatpants.
they are both fully facing each other, eyes shut as they fall into the others mouth. peter could always make her feel like they were the only people in the world, and no one else mattered.
he could easily taste the flavored gloss she had on, the scent instantly entering his nose as she inches closer to him. his fingers ran over her jaw and over her hair, admiring the silky strands on her head that he loved so much. he wishes the noises she made were louder, so he could hear her little noises perfectly, just the ones that turn him on more. it lasts for minutes, her hands trailing down to his thick biceps from all the crime fighting he did. her touch was always warm besides the cool feeling of her few rings on his skin. he let himself wander down to her waist, caressing the side before landing them onto her hips.
“y/n,” he groans into her mouth, pulling away slowly to lean his head against hers.
“shh,” she cuts him off. “i know what you want.”
“i want you to wear this every day.”
“yeah, yeah,” she mumbles, chuckling at him as he writhes under her touch. one of his hands still remains on her hip as she starts to inch her fingers into the waistband of his sweatpants. he can feel himself getting antsy for her to touch him, to do anything to him to relieve the pressure in his body.
his wish is her command in an instant, helping him to pull down the sweatpants past his crotch to reveal his boxers underneath. when she peels down the boxers, his hardened dick is immediately in her grasp, her mouth watering just by looking at his. she leaves a soft kiss on his tip, only relieving an gram of tightness through his abdomen.
she wraps her hand around his shaft, starting to pump lightly and gets the sweetest moan from peters lips. she adores seeing him like this, the way he falls into her grasp and lets her please him. “jesus, y/n.”
“i know, baby,” she smiles up at his blushed face while he looks at his favorite sight. she takes her tongue and drags it up the underside of his dick, wrapping her mouth around him and keeping her hands on the end. peters hands fly around the place at the intensity, not knowing where to put them until he places one on y/n’s head and the other on the side of his thigh.
she bobs her head up and down on him, sucking his dick with such ease that it makes him more turned on than he’s ever been. he hates to think of this, but he thinks of her in that class, her perfect body on display for him as the teacher eyes her.
the way his dick throbs and jumps makes her feel the arousal form in her heat, just knowing that she’s completely wet over hearing peters moans for her. she pulls back, letting the saliva form in her mouth before sucking her mouth back onto him. she looks over at his veiny hands clutching the car door, his chest heavily breathing and heart pounding. “y/n, fuck i’m really close.”
she signals to him that he can come by just continuing her motions on him. her extra hand moves down to his balls while she fondles them as he groans out into the thick air of the car. when he finally reaches his orgasm, his cum coats the inside of her mouth, settling in her tongue as she wipes some from her lip. he laughs when he watches her swipe some off her chin and swallow the rest, only finding it hotter as he gets hard again.
once peter catches his breath again, he loops his finger through the belt holes in her shorts, pulling them up toward him and he’s able to see the curve of her ass in them and he watches her thigh swing over him, just remembering all the times he’s been in-between them.
“wait,” he starts. “get these off.” he points to the shorts, helping her peel them off her legs to noticed the lacy pair of panties she had on underneath. he doesn’t bother to take her shirt off, not wanting to waste another moment where he’s not inside of her. “you look so hot today, baby.”
“thanks, peter,” she grins against his lips. “but i can just tell from how hard you are right now.” she grinds herself into his crotch, the fabric of her underwear rubbing against him, making him moan. he reached down, moving her panties to the side and runs his fingers through her warm folds. she pushes her warmth up against his dick, sliding his length through her slick pussy.
“you’re this wet for me already?”
“you’re crazy if you think i haven’t been this wet for you all day.” she whispers into his ear. “honestly, there wasn’t a period today that i didn’t think about you fucking me in this car, peter. even in detention.”
“it’s a good thing mr. stark tinted my windows, can’t see anything in here.”
she continues to rock her hips against him before he reaches underneath them. he shoves two of his fingers into her vagina, craving the taste of her on his tongue. she sighs out at the feeling of him filling her with just two of his fingers, only to be disappointed when he pulls them out again.
he brings them to his mouth, sucking on his fingers before reaching back down to his own dick, slipping it through her folds before sinking into her pussy.
they moan out simultaneously, instantly feeling somewhat relieved of the horniness they felt early. he still grabs a hold of her waist, helping bounce her up and down on his shaft as he moans out sweet nothings in her ear. “oh my god, y/n, this feels so good.”
she runs her fingers through his hair, ruining the small amount of gel he had applied that morning. his own arms reached around, pulling her into his chest and having her lean against him, his head fully in her soft tits and he was finally in heaven.
he reached another one of his hands down, circling her clit with his thumb and getting closer with the thought of him inside of her. he starts to tease the small nerves, making her moan out and pull him closer against her. “holy shit, peter!”
he starts thrusting up into her, using his lower body to slam into her repeatedly. he admired the way her boobs jiggle to the action of him fucking her. the coil in his stomach only began to tighten more, knowing that his second orgasm was close. he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to contain himself and resist cumming inside her warm pussy, but luckily birth control exists.
“peter, i’m gonna cum,” she announces, feeling his thrusts get choppier inside of her. “fuck, fuck, fuck! peter!” she utters out to each of his last thrusts before feeling his own release warm inside of her. the fireworks inside of her went off, feeling the intense stream of pleasure through her nerves. her heart thumps against her chest as she comes down from the high, peters thrusts only being slow and sensual now.
“god, i’ll never get enough of you.” peter mumbles into her neck, giving it light pecks as they both relax in each others arms.
“thank you,” she says.
“for what?”
“well, first of all for that awesome sex, and second, just for being there. you didn’t have to wait for me.”
“i’m glad i did, trust me. i’ll always wait for you.” he tells her, making a cheesy beam grow on her mouth. “i love you.”
“i love you, too, peter.” she plants one last kiss to his lips before moving back to her own seat.
lil extra smth
when peter and y/n walk in together, he slightly trails behind her, noticing the lightness and excitement in her mood. she walks into the room, the fellow avengers sitting around. sam, bucky, and steve were all playing cards games at the table as nat watched over them. tony sat on the couch, reading over something about him that was released in the news paper.
they hear friday announce that y/n and peter have arrived, and they surely didn’t expect a bubbly y/n in her outfit to come waltzing in. “hi, guys!” she says, looking around and giving them a nice smile as peter walks in, too.
“what’s got her so bubbly today?”
“i got a detention today!” she says, with no apparent upset on her face. “sorry we’re later than normal.” she looks at nat next making eye contact and winking at her as she skips away to her room. peter trails behind, almost shamefully walking away from the rest of them. nat just looks at her drink smirking while it swirls in the cup, knowing exactly what’s got y/n so thrilled. she gives a certain face to everyone else, signaling what went down.
“are you kidding me?” sam complains. “you’re telling me parker got laid today and i didn’t?”
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javierpena-inatacvest · 6 months
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Take Me Home
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Summary: After a night out at the bar with your co-workers after a long week at school, Javi picks you up and takes you home
Word Count: 3.2K
Pairing: husband!Javier Peña x f!reader (no use of y/n)
Warnings: Alcohol/drinking (girl, you're plastered), allusions to smut, being a drunk, horny mess, mentions of food/eating, being hungover, Javi taking care of you, the Backstreet Boys (?!), just sweet, sweet fluff 😩
A/N: This was inspired by an ask from a sweet anon!! This made me giggle the whole time I was writing it, drunk Osita is my favorite 🤪 You know Javi would absolutely get a kick out of your drunken antics and would take such good care of you and your terrible hangover. Also who doesn't love a drunk Pop-Tart?!
This can be read as a standalone or as a part of the It's Never Too Late Series!
If there was one thing you knew, it was that the first few weeks of school were never easy. You were tired, stressed, and feeling like you were running on empty. You were hesitant when some of your new coworkers had suggested all of you head to the bar for Happy Hour on Friday after work, knowing damn well you’d be absolutely exhausted. But after the week you’d had, getting drunk with your teacher friends and commiserating about the chaos that was each of your classrooms couldn’t have sounded like a better way to cap off the craziness that had been the past 5 days. 
You had offered to ask one of your friends for a ride to the bar so Javi could enjoy his Friday night without having to worry about you, but Javi being Javi, had more than happily dropped you off with your friends, and planned to pick you up around 11:30, giving you what you thought was more than enough time to enjoy a few drinks and de-stress with your co-workers. 
4 margaritas and 2 surprise shots of tequila later, it was safe to say the state you were in was a little more than just de-stressed. 
With how much you had to drink, you had found yourself paying absolutely zero attention to any clock, and had completely forgotten that you told Javi you would meet him by the front doors when he came to pick you up. Javi had a sneaking suspicion when he pulled up to the parking lot and you were nowhere to be found, that you were probably having a much better time at the bar, and were a few drinks deeper than you intended. Well, Javi wasn’t wrong to assume that you had downed more than just a couple drinks, but what he wasn’t expecting was for you to be absolutely hammered. 
Walking through the door, Javi couldn’t help but smile as he saw your familiar frame leaned against the ledge of the edge of the bar, gently rocking your head and swaying your hips to the muffled music playing under the chatter of the bar patrons. You must have been very focused on ordering whatever it was you wanted from the bartender, because you had been seemingly oblivious to Javi’s presence behind you. He firmly placed his broad hand on the small of your back, pressing his fingertips into your hips, making you immediately whip your head around in concern. 
“Woah, woah, woah, don’t you dare fucking touch me, I am happily married and will glad beat the shit out of- AH! JAVI!” Your demeanor quickly shifted from a woman ready to throw down in a fist fight, to absolutely ecstatic, realizing the hand resting on your back belonged to your husband. Setting your drink down, you threw your arms around his neck, wrapping him in a tight hug, pressing your face against the soft fabric of his button down shirt. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you, I thought you were some creep trying to grab my ass. But you’re not a creep, you’re my hot husband, and you can grab my ass all you want. What time is it? You smell really good.” From your giggles and rambling, Javi could tell you’d had more than your fair share to drink, trying to gently put down the glass you had picked up to take a sip from back down on the bar. 
“Hi, Hermosa. I’m coming to pick you up, remember? Maybe let’s get you a water instead of finishing the rest of this, okay?” Javi smiled, passing your cup off to the bartender, and exchanging it for a new glass filled with water. Handing it off to you, your face scrunched in confusion as you took a long swing. 
“This isn’t a margarita?” You questioned, handing it back to Javi, thinking that he had clearly made a mistake in ordering for you. Laughing, Javi nodded, trying to hand the water back to you. 
“I know, Osita. It’s water, baby. Have a few sips and then I’m gonna take you home, alright?” 
Raising an eyebrow at him, you gave him a little smirk before obliging, taking a few gulps of the water and setting it back down, crossing your arms against your chest. “Did you say you’re trying to take me home, Javier Peña?” 
“Yes, I’m taking you home, you dork.” Javi laughed to himself, shaking his head as he picked up your coat and your purse from the back of the chair you had been perched next to. “Why don’t you go say goodbye to everyone and make sure no one else needs a ride home, okay?” You nodded, speeding off into the dwindling late night crowd, quickly finding your friends, hugging them and then pointing over at Javi, biting down on your lip, as the rest of them giggled, waving at him as he politely waved back. A few moments later, you found Javi again, stumbling through the bar, grabbing a fist full of his button up shirt, pressing up on your tiptoes to give him a long, tender kiss. 
“Take me home, baby.” 
After your 3rd trip to the bar bathroom and your self pep-talk in the mirror earlier, you knew you were drunk, but you hadn’t realized just how drunk you were until you found yourself trying to crawl your way into Javi’s truck, the passenger’s seat seeming much higher up than usual as you took several missed steps trying to hoist yourself into the car. 
“You want help, hermosa?” Javi tried to keep his best from laughing as he watched you struggle. 
“....Maybe. Jav, I think I’m actually really drunk. Or the seat got higher. I think it would be less embarrassing if the truck grew. Or maybe I shrunk… Drunk and shrunk, those rhyme, Jav!” You sighed, placing your hands on your hips, looking up at Javi’s car in frustration. 
“I think you and the truck are both the same size, baby. Here… 1, 2, 3.” He smiled, grabbing you around your hips, lifting you into your seat, reaching over to click your seatbelt in before making his way to the driver’s side, strapping himself in and starting up the car. As Javi pulled out of the parking lot, you reached down to turn up the volume on the radio, turning it up even louder when you heard it was “Everybody (Backstreet’s Back)” by the Backstreet Boys. Even in your plastered state, you knew how much Javi despised this song, claiming he’d heard it enough times to last him a thousand lifetimes. You, on the other hand, thought it was catchy as hell, even more so now that you were drunk. 
“I don’t understand how you don’t like this song! You yelled over the music, dancing in your seat, singing along to the lyrics. 
“Am I original?” 
You pointed at Javi, waiting for him to sing along to the “yeah’s”, frowning when all he did was laugh at you, 
“Am I the only one?” 
You pointed at him again, this time getting a half assed “yeah” out of him as you poked at his shoulder. 
“Am I sexual?” 
You outstretched your arm towards him, raising an eyebrow and biting down on your lip as you smirked, watching Javi reluctantly sing along to the last “yeah”, shaking his head, laughing at you. 
“Am I everything you need, you better rock your body now- EVERYBODYYYYYY!” You screamed, pumping your fist in the air, pretending to sing into your imaginary microphone, Javi trying to keep from bursting into hysterics from your over dramatic performance. You paused mid chorus, looking over to see him lovingly laughing at you, making you give him your most sarcastic stank face. “Are you laughing at me, Javier Jesús Peña? Are you not enjoying your concert?” 
“Osita,” He grinned, reaching down to grab your hand, intertwining your fingers with his, “there’s nothing I love more than watching you sing along to whatever song it is while we drive. It’s my favorite thing. Even if you’re fucking ridiculous sometimes.”
“Nuh uh, you’re the ridiculous one, Jav. Ridiculously fucking hot. Do you like, ever look in the mirror and just admire how attractive you are? All the girls at work think so, too. They told me when I was leaving tonight that I was a lucky lady and you know what I told them? Bitch, absolutely I am. My husband is so fucking hot and sweet and perfect and to top it all off, he’s got a huge dick. Wait, maybe I didn’t say that last part to them… If I did, I’m sorry. But I’m not sorry, ‘cause it’s true.” Javi practically choked on his own spit, his quiet laughter to himself halted by your last comment. 
“Well, you’re very sweet, Osita. I hope for everyone’s sake you spared them the last part.” Javi laughed, giving your hand a little squeeze as you rested your head on his shoulder across the center console. 
“I’m being serious, Javi! It really isn’t fair to everyone else how fucking handsome you are. Or that like, you’re fucking sex god. Can we have sex when we get home? Please please please?” You begged, trying to give him your best drunken puppy dog eyes and pouty lip, Javi gently patting your leg knowing you were in absolutely no state to do anything besides get force fed some Gatorade and ibuprofen and go to sleep. 
“I think that we need to get you into bed, baby. Maybe tomorrow, okay?” 
“Into the bed where we have awesome sex all the time.” You retorted, shooting him a clumsy wink, pointing your finger at him. “Except this morning when we had sex in the bed and the shower. The shower is also a good place for sex. Do you remember when we had sex this morning?” You giggled, rubbing your hand over Javi’s thigh, working your way further up the denim before Javi reached down, placing your hand back in his, pulling it away. 
“Yes, Osita, of course I remember. Tonight we’re just gonna get into the bed and sleep.” Javi chuckled, smiling at you with your bright red cheeks, still dancing in your seat to whatever song was playing on the radio as he turned to pull into the driveway of your house. 
“Oh my gosh, we’re already home?! That was so fast. Let’s go to bed so we can sleep.” You gave Javi an overexaggerated wink as you parked in the garage, fumbling with the door handle to try and get out of the truck. Wanting to make sure you didn’t topple out of the passenger seat, Javi quickly unbuckled his seat belt, walking around to your side of the car, helping you down. You shot off to the door, fighting with the locked doorknob to try and get it open, instantly turning to panic when you realize it wouldn’t budge. “Jav! Jav! I forgot to bring my keys with me, I think we’re locked out of the house, I’m so- Oh. Nevermind.” Javi came up behind you, dangling his keys before reaching down to unlock the door. You stumbled through the mudroom and down the hallway, your eyes lighting up as you realized you were passing the kitchen. Trying to dart your way towards the pantry, you forgot that you had kicked off your shoes only a few moments earlier, making you slip and stumble on the hardwood floor, promptly landing you right on your ass. 
“Jesus Hermosa, are you okay?” Javi rushed over, eyes wide with concern as he watched you tumble, trying to pick you up from the hysterical heap you had fallen into. 
“I forgot I had socks on and I slipped. I’m such a fucking idiot, oh my god, that had to have looked so funny. My butt is gonna hurt tomorrow.” You cackled, hoisting your body up as Javi pulled you to stand, holding his hands firm on your hips, making sure you were stable. 
“Alright, c’mon Osita, we’re almost to bed.” 
“Wait, wait, I want Pop-Tart though! That’s why I was running to the kitchen!” You protested, Javi grabbing you to stop you before you tried to run full force down the hallway and slip again. 
“I will get you a Pop-Tart, you just get yourself into bed, okay? I’ll be there in a second.” Javi pleaded with you, trying to direct you back down the hallway towards the bedroom, hoping you would go and he wouldn’t have to wrangle you any further. 
“You promise?” You frowned, poking Javi’s chest, standing your ground until you were positive you were getting a Pop-Tart before you fell asleep. Javi leaned down, planting a soft kiss in your hair, brushing a stray piece  away from your face, giving you a reassuring smile. 
“Yes, I promise.” 
That was all it took to have you dancing down the hallway towards the bedroom, back to singing to yourself with each step. 
“Everyboddyyyyy, rock your booooddyyy. Rock your body right. Back Street’s back, alright!”  
Finally seeing you had made your way into your room, Javi made his way to the kitchen, shuffling through the pantry to grab a shiny silver Pop-Tart wrapper, a red Gatorade and a bottle of Advil from the medicine cabinet before quickly heading back down the hall, your singing now muffled as Javi found you laying face down in the bed, still fully clothed. Javi wasn’t going to let you fall asleep in jeans and a sweater, so he carefully flipped you over, making you giggle as he began to unbutton your pants, shuffling them down your legs. 
“I thought you said we weren’t having sex tonight, so why are you undressing me, hmmm?” You sassed, wiggling your bottom half to help Javi get your jeans off before he grabbed your arms, pulling you up to sit and prompting you to lift up your arms, stripping you of your top. “Are you trying to look at my boobs? I want a piece of Pop-Tart before you get a free show.” 
“I’m just trying to get you in pajamas, baby. I’m not gonna let you fall asleep in what you wore to the bar. How about this, if you can get yourself in some pajamas, I’ll give you your Pop-Tart.” Javi chuckled, rolling his eyes at the ridiculous compromise he was finding himself making with his drunken wife. 
“You strike a hard bargain, Mr. Peña. Fine, I will put on pajamas. Only because I love you very, very, very, very, very much. And I really want that Pop-Tart.” You huffed, crossing your arms over your chest as Javi threw you one of his t-shirts and a pair of sleep shorts, haphazardly trying to wrestle them onto your body before flopping back down on the bed. “Okay, they’re on! Pop-Tart me, bitch.” 
“Did you just say Pop-Tart me, bitch?” Javi snorted, looking at you, sprawled out like a starfish, his shirt draped over your body backwards.
“Pop-Tart me, bitch. Please.” You replied, smugly nodding your head, pointing finger guns at him. 
“You’re lucky you’re cute. I’m gonna go close up the house and then I’ll be back in bed. I love you, Osita.” Javi grinned, planting a kiss on your forehead, gently brushing your hair out of your face. 
“I love you too, Javi. My Pop-Tart and my pussy are both ready for you when you get back.” You giggled, reaching over to grab the shiny, silver snack package Javi had left for you on your nightstand, now grabbing it like a microphone as you sang into it. “Back Street’s back, alrightttttt!” 
“Jesus Christ…” Javi laughed, shaking his head as he gave you one last kiss before making his way back out of the bedroom, leaving you happily humming as you nibbled on the corner of your Pop-Tart, propped up on your stack of pillows. It didn’t take long for Javi to close up around the house, making sure to grab an extra package of Pop-Tarts and a big glass of water from the kitchen on his way back. “How’s the Pop-Tart, Osita?” Javi asked, gently closing the door behind him. 
Silence. 
“Osita?” He asked again, this time turning around to see that your singing and giggles had come to an end as you were passed out cold, sprawled out on top of the covers, Pop-Tart resting on your chest, rising and falling slowly with your soft snores. Javi laughed to himself, carefully taking the Pop-Tart off your chest and lifting you up to tuck you in under the covers, planting a soft kiss on your forehead. “Ducles sueños, Osita. Te amo mucho, loca (Sweet dreams, little bear. I love you so much, crazy.)
The next morning, you could hear yourself audibly groan as you turned over in the bed, shielding yourself from the sunlight peeking through the cracks in your curtain, head pounding from the brightness. You rubbed your eyes, squinting as you looked over at your nightstand to see the red letters of your alarm clock reading “10:37 A.M.” and the shiny glare of an opened Pop-Tart package, covered by a blue sticky note. You twisted over, realizing that Javi’s side of the bed was empty, before turning back with a grunt, reaching over to grab the sticky note. 
Morning Osita. There’s Advil and Gatorade for you when you wake up. I think you may need it. I’ll have breakfast for you whenever you get up, unless you just want the Pop-Tart. 
Love you 
-J 
Slowly, you hoisted yourself up, grabbing the Gatorade and pills Javi and left for you, popping them in your mouth, followed by a big swig of your drink, running both your hands over your face before letting out a deep sigh and sliding out of bed. You trudged down the hallway, rubbing your hand on your hip to ease the bruising pain you had felt since getting out of bed, greeted by the smell of breakfast in the kitchen, and Javi sitting at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper, sipping on a cup of coffee. 
“Good morning, sleepy head.” Javi chuckled, peeking over the top of his newspaper as he watched you as you stumbled your way into one of the empty kitchen chairs next to him at the table. 
 “I feel like shit.” You groaned, propping your elbows up on the table, resting your face in your hands. Javi set down his paper, draping his arm over your back, tracing small circles with his thumb along your still backwards shirt as he planted a soft kiss in your messy, sleepy hair. 
“You were pretty drunk last night, Osita. Did you see the note I left for you?” Javi laughed quietly, shaking his head as he continued to rub your back. You turned your head over, looking up at Javi’s sympathetic gaze, scrunching your face as you let out a deep sigh. 
“Yes thank you, oh my god, that Gatorade and Advil is gonna save my life. Why the hell was there a Pop-Tart on my nightstand?” You mumbled, reaching over to steal a sip of Javi’s coffee, accidentally letting a little dribble fall down onto your shirt, you were just now realizing it wasn't on right. “Wait, is my shirt backwards? My ass hurts like hell too, what the hell happened last night?” 
“Why don’t I get you some breakfast and I’ll tell you all about it.”
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Taglist:
@cool-iguana @rhoorl @whyjuliaaa @bbiophiliaa @pertinentpostmortem @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @pedrobaby @fatima-marisa @beboldbebravethings @poodlebae @kittenlittle24 @3sriracha @jungchloee @perennialdoll247 @prettyinpunk85 @partyofone3413 @harriedandharassed @pedrohoe04 @theorganasolo @endlessthxxghts @beware-my-thorns@blackfemalenerd @deppydelta
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gimmehyuck · 1 year
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try again | j.jh
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summary. jaehyun remembers the night he met you, and even after that one night he often thought of you and wished things would have been different, but by a weird twist of fate he gets to see you again, except this time... you're not alone.
or alternatively:
jaehyun gets to try again, for real this time.
pairing. idol!jaehyun x teacher!yn
words. 19.8k-ish
genre. somewhat of a second chance romance? lots of cute things going on, and it wouldn't be a gimmehyuck fic if i didn't have something angsty
warnings. there's not much to warn about tbh? jaehyun not believing in love at first sight but then essentially does, there's a one night stand (nothing explicit), and also a child (gasp i know), alcohol is mentioned as well as pineapple on pizza, a wild blue haired haechan makes an appearance, johnmark being the best, jaehyun is generally unhappy with being an idol at this stage of his life, idk but y'all can thank my friend ruby for this getting finished, she was on my ass about it... happy late birthday jaehyun lmao
.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.
this was completely and utterly unlike himself, jaehyun thought over and over as he laid in your bed listening to you breathe. he wasn’t a one-night stand kind of man, he was too busy to let himself fall into these kind of temptations. he was a man, he told himself, and yeah, he liked sex, but the middle of tour? he shook his head at himself as he stared at the ceiling.
his mouth spoke on his own when he saw you, your beauty catching him entirely off guard. dinner at 6 with johnny was only supposed to be a quick get-out-of-the-hotel-for-a-bit thing, forty-five minutes tops. but the second you walked up and asked if you could start them off with any waters, or if they preferred beer, he was enamored. forty-five minutes turned into double that and johnny could only smile at himself at the very obvious flirtatious exchanges and when you wrote your number on the receipt you had placed on the table with a scribbled note that said ‘i get off at 11, call me if you want :)’, johnny was more than supportive.
“man, just live a little.” johnny had told him in the taxi to the hotel, and jaehyun was still on the fence about it but when it was 10:53 and he still couldn’t get your smiling face out of his head, his fingers moved entirely on their own. you responded to him at 11 exactly, and even though he had just ate and wasn’t hungry, he agreed when you asked if he’d be up to get something to eat with you. twenty minutes later he found himself in your presence again, baseball hat tugged as far down as it would go and a mask tugged slightly down to rest on his chin and he couldn’t help but listen to things about yourself and he realized he wanted to know more and more with each laugh you let out.
he wasn’t a love at first sight kind of man, but he could understand that thought behind it because, damn, you were funny and kind and absolutely beautiful.
“sorry, i’ve been going on too much about myself, haven’t i?” you asked, face turning a little sheepish when you realized he hadn’t said much of a word the last fifteen minutes but you noticed his smile never fell from his face. he shook his head in answer and picked up a fry from the shared pile on the table, “no, i’m enjoying hearing all about you.”
“well, let’s change it up some, tell me about yourself. you from around here?” you asked, copying his movements and munching on a fry yourself.
“mmm,” he thought for a moment. he didn’t want to be secretive, but he wasn’t comfortable turning the conversation into a long winded one about his group and his fame and although he was thankful for all of that, he noticed it had slowly started to wear him down. no, he genuinely was enjoying just being himself with you, not having to be anyone else. “i’m from seoul, and i work… in entertainment.” he finally decided on.
not a lie, not exactly.
“oh, that sounds really exciting! do you get to meet a lot of famous people doing that?” you asked tilting your head slightly as you did so, genuine curiosity on your face.
his smile grew, oh if only you knew. “i have here and there, they’re just people even if they’re famous.”
you nodded in response to that and your lips twisted slightly in a frown, “i always feel a little bad for celebrities in that sense. i can’t imagine worrying about how my next sentence will be dissected and twisted into something else.”
the more you spoke, the more you surprised him. no one really thought about them in that way, usually jumping directly to the misconstruing of his words or actions as something else entirely.
“yeah, i imagine that’s pretty difficult.” he agreed with you knowingly, then asked, “so do you enjoy being a waitress?”
your smile faltered a little, and you sighed, “i mean, yeah. i like meeting new people but i’m only doing it for another semester and then i’ve got my degree. it took me longer than i’d like to admit, since i’m almost twenty-four now but i had to work enough to make the money to pay for my tuition and well, yeah. so i’ll have my bachelors in a few months’ time and then i’ll be done with the restaurant.”
“oh?” jaehyun asked, reaching again for more fries. “what are you getting your degree in?”
“teaching!” you said with a brilliant smile on your face. “i want to teach, but lately i’ve been leaning towards teaching english overseas and i think you were my sign to do just that. i’ve been debating between korea and japan.”
jaehyun laughed a little at that, “well not to be biased but i can vouch for korea. it’s a really beautiful place.”
and the conversation continued like that, asking questions back and forth. you answering him honestly and jaehyun answering you as honestly as he could without turning the conversation into the direction he didn’t want it to go. the food was gone and the conversation was still going but you had invited him to your place which wasn’t that far away and jaehyun thought he’d hesitate to say yes but his answer was so immediate it startled him a bit. the constant back and forth went on even still at your apartment and he felt like he had known you for a long time, much longer than just a few hours at least, he felt at ease and comfortable and it was a feeling he didn’t realize he was missing. when you suddenly kissed him midsentence he froze, his entire face blank as his brain processed what had just happened, unsure how to exactly to proceed next and you blushed brightly at him, your confidence unwavering.
“sorry,” you giggled a little nervously at the way his face was in shock, “i don’t have any expectations of tonight, but i wanted to kiss you at least once. you’re so cute, especially your dimples. i’m sorry if i made you uncomf – mmph!” his lips effectively silencing you in the same manner yours had him.
except he didn’t pull away, and you wrapped your arms around him and the night carried on, each kiss leading into a touch, and then a gasp. you led him into your room and kicked the door shut with your foot, hands frantically removing clothing in a trail to the bed. small giggles were shared between gasping breaths within the breaks of kissing and the gasps slowly transformed into sounds of pleasure and while you fell asleep against him after, jaehyun couldn’t turn his racing mind off.
he didn’t regret anything, he didn’t regret his actions. he didn’t regret you.
he regretted that he couldn’t stay.
and so when he knew you were fully asleep, when your breathing was the deepest, he got up from your bed and slowly replaced his clothes one by one, dragging out the moments he had in your presence. his hat was the last thing he found on the floor and he tugged it on, sighing softly to himself, pulling out his phone to read that it was 5:20 am, and with one last glance over his shoulder he left you there in the bed sound asleep. a deep guilt he couldn’t shake making a home for itself in his chest.
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                              aug 9
9:33 am you: hey! everything ok?
9:35 am you: wanna go get breakfast? :)
12:42 pm dimples: i’m sorry, i just saw this. i had work things to take care of. how did you sleep?
3:30 pm you: that’s ok! i slept alright :)
3:31 pm you: are you busy tonight? wanna get food?
4:45 pm dimples: if i get off in time, sure. i’ll let you know.
7:02 pm you: you alright?
7:28 pm dimples: i’m sorry, again. work is kicking my ass, how did your day go?
7:32 pm you: it was fine! started working on an essay i had due, you know. the fun stuff, how about you? busy?
7:45 pm dimples: you have no idea haha
7:49 pm you: you can tell me about it if you want? believe it or not, i’m a great listener
                                       read 10:45 pm
                           aug 13
2:43 pm you: sent attachment
2:43 pm you: saw this and remembered how you
2:43 pm you: sorry, thumb hit send lol. you mentioned you liked this band, and i thought of you
2:44 pm you: hope you’re ok
                           read 12:01 am
                           aug 19
11:01 pm you: y’know, i’m not mad at you or anything i did say i had no expectations lol. just kinda hoped this would have been different, you know? it kinda felt different to me…
11:02 pm you: but that’s alright lol i hope you’re ok
                                     delivered
                          aug 31
7:49 am you: jaehyun
7:50 am you: look, i need you to respond
7:50 am you: please
7:51 am you: i’m freaking out
7:51 am you: idk what to do, and i’m scared
                                                 not delivered
7:53 am you: what the fuck??
                                               not delivered
7:55 am you: fuck. you. jaehyun.
                                               not delivered
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five years later.
although the years had passed for jaehyun, it was all so quick that the night with you still felt fresh to him. he often thought of you and how you were, often thought of if you graduated and were teaching. if you got to do everything you had confessed to him that night in the extended lengths of the conversations had.
he often thought if you were here in korea with him like you had planned and he just had no clue.
if you were, you hated him, he was sure.
his manager had caught him checking his phone that night with an unsaved number on it, had sneakily read your messages over his shoulder and absolutely lost it on him. he went on and on about his idol image, his career, his future and repeated ‘what if this got out? what if dispatch found it?’ and jaehyun couldn’t say anything back but ‘okay’. the feeling he had when talking to you, the small feeling of being himself again, smothered in an instant.
when you had sent him a picture of a vinyl record of one of his favorite bands, he wanted so badly to respond to you. he had even typed out a response when he finally was able to read it, but he knew it wouldn’t help anything at all if he did. he really did think it was better to let it lie, and so he turned off his read receipts.
the last message he saw from you, made him gnaw on his bottom lip, and the next day he left the country going back to korea and his number was changed.
he wanted to be different for you, he had barely met you but he knew you, it wasn’t a coincidence to him. but what kind of life would a long-distance relationship be with someone who would be so busy some days or even weeks that he couldn’t respond? he knew you’d always be worried, or hurt when communication was so small. he thought of it a lot. and he was thinking of all those things, when he was sure, he had ultimately decided, that you probably didn’t actually want to be with him.
he would have just… liked it if you had.
maybe if he weren’t famous he would have dated you.
maybe it would have been like one of the cheesy romance movies taeyong liked to watch, maybe he even would have fallen in love.
and maybe… maybe he would have even married you if his daydream let him get that far, if his life would have followed the cliché movie plot, but that was all a what if to him now. something he liked to sit and think about if only just to make sure the guilt never left him.
“jaehyun?” his name being called pulled him out of his memories and his head jerked up to look at who had called him. his manager was staring at him with drawn eyebrows, and at jaehyun’s confused expression he breathed deeply out of his nose.
“what do you think?” this time it was the PR manager asking, the person who had asked him, johnny, and mark to come to the conference room to go over their schedules for the next couple of days.
“about what? sorry, i was…” jaehyun trailed off.
“he thinks it’s a great idea.” mark answered for him, giving jaehyun a concerned look. “he loves kids.”
“okay, then it’s set. the kids are unaware they’re meeting you all, and they probably won’t really realize you’re famous but it will be filmed for content with permission from the schools principal already. It’ll be good for the groups image, everyone loved the last time you guys sat with kids.” and with that the meeting was done, it wasn’t really to ask them if they wanted to participate but to tell them what they would be doing. jaehyun didn’t mind this that much because it was true. he did love kids.
once the managers had left the room, johnny turned in his chair to give jaehyun a scrupulous look.
“dude, why were you spacing out so bad?” mark asked, slouching in his chair as his chin saw in his palm and his elbow rested on the table. to this date, johnny was the only other person who knew about you and his night he had spent with you. johnny nodded at the quick eye contact, understanding immediately.
“dunno, i think i’m just tired. i didn’t sleep much last night.” jaehyun brushed off mark’s question with a shrug and mark sighed at that.
“well, you better get some rest tonight. those kids aren’t going to chill out just because you’re tired.” mark said as he stood, his hands shoved into the pockets of his sweats, shooting one last look at jaehyun before leaving the room.
“you know, it’s been a few years but maybe she’s thinking of you too. why not try reaching out?” johnny whispered to him, and jaehyun gave johnny a not-quite-there smile that was really just a grimace.
“nah, it’s fine. she’s probably changed her number since then, and besides, even if she didn’t she definitely hates me now. i know i would.” johnny frowned then as his friend got up and left the room, the big glass door swinging closed softly behind him.
something had changed in jaehyun that night when he came back, it wasn’t a huge, drastic change but johnny noticed it nonetheless. he wasn’t always distracted by his guilty thoughts of you, but on several occasions jaehyun had gotten drunk with him and started talking about you and everything about you that he knew.
by this point johnny felt he knew you just as well as jaehyun had.
and about sixty percent of those occasions, johnny had to console him and reassure him that you probably didn’t hate him but would probably just be upset at him, and that he was sure you’d forgive jaehyun if he explained the situation.
johnny was never confident in that though. five years is a long time to go on thinking about someone you spent one night with.
and, johnny often thought, five years was a long time to dwell on all the anger left from waking up alone from someone you spent one night with.
and although if it was only supposed to be just one night… even johnny knew it was more than that.
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mark was bouncing on the balls of his feet, his hands contained in his pockets but jaehyun couldn’t help the smile that grew at the younger mans energy. there was always something about children that brought out the kid side of the younger members and that was always contagious and within minutes, jaehyun was smiling just as brightly as mark had been.
they were told to wait until given the signal to come out, as all the kids were now sitting in different circles in the room. the four-year-old class wasn’t very large, and they had come to the SM building to take a tour.
in recent years SM had opened its doors to field trips for younger kids, usually it was elementary ages but after some strings were pulled, they allowed the class going in to kindergarten to be included if they would allow them to be part of the youtube series SM had going on of ‘idols with kids’.
this wasn’t the group’s first event with kids, the group was large at this time and they had rotated out and didn’t have to do it often, but it was their turn and it was a nice break, jaehyun thought.
certainly better than another photoshoot.
johnny tapped jaehyun on the shoulder, the signal had been given and the three men entered the room full of energetic children. there were only about twelve of them total, and jaehyun noticed the teachers stood off to the side, two women leaning against the wall with their masks up and covering their face.
jaehyun paid them very little attention as he went to his assigned table to sit down with the kids. he took his place at the circle table and folded his legs underneath him, sitting as the kids were.
the kids grew quiet at the presence of the adult man at their table, and he noticed his table had two girls and two boys. the little girl that sat closest to him had big bright eyes and her little hands brushed her bangs away from her eyes.
he noticed her little pigtails had little fuzzy clips in them that matched her dress and his heart melted at how adorable she was. she seemed to be the boldest of the group as she was the only one to look him in the eyes.
“hi everyone, my name is jaehyun.” he said kindly, trying to make the kids feel at ease.
“hello, mister.” the cute girl with pigtails said and when she spoke, small dimples formed at the corners of her mouth and he was intrigued at how much they looked like his.
“hello, miss.” jaehyun nodded and replied easily and the little girls smile grew as did her dimples. and then a thought visibly appeared across her face and she turned to her other friends at the table.
“it’s rude to not say hi,” her lips were in a pouty frown as she looked at them. she was a bossy little thing, he noticed but her friends immediately chimed in with quiet hello’s. that seemed to make her happy and she nodded dramatically. jaehyun knew the only thing they had to do while they were here was color with them, and talk to them for the camera’s sake, and so he did just that.
the little girl next to him asked him which page he wanted to color first, and he reached forward to slide a piece of paper with the outline of a bunny holding a carrot and then she asked her friends which ones they wanted. he noticed she chose last and his heart melted even more at how utterly sweet the little exchange was.
“what are your names?” he asked the table as a whole, putting on his gentlest smile, which wasn’t hard for him to find. the little boy to his left spoke up this time, starting to get comfortable with jaehyun’s presence.
“my name in jiwon, and he’s seojun… she’s heeyoung, and,” he said pointing out each person one by one dramatically as he finally landed on the little girl who sat beside him. “her name is yeoruem.”
“oh you all have pretty names,” jaehyun commented and the boys seemed to swell with a sense of pride by being told they had nice names from a stranger. he noticed the kids start talking a little bit, but they mostly focused on their coloring. yeoreum sat beside him, a crayon gripped tightly in her hand and her tongue stuck between her lips and she concentrated on her page, she had chosen a big teddy bear and she was coloring it purple.
she was getting a little frustrated he could tell with how she kept huffing and puffing and finally she put her crayon down and put her cheek in her tiny hand dramatically, and the cute pout made jaehyun chuckle softly.
“what’s the matter, yeoreum?” he cooed at her gently.
“i like to stay in the lines and i messed up.”
“well let’s see if we can fix it, hmm?” and he picked up her crayon and offered it to her. she took it in her hand again and he proceeded to point at a small spot, his arms wrapping around her and helping her hand move just right and she took his direction with a grin. when she finally got it she pushed his hand away.
“thank you mister jaehyun, i want to try and do it now myself.” and jaehyun held up his hands in surrender.
“you’re a very independent little girl, yeoreum.” jaehyun commented to her as he went back to coloring on his bunny, picking up an orange crayon to fill in the carrot.
“thank you!” she beamed, not taking her eyes off of her teddy bear. “my mommy says the same thing.”
“your mommy is a very smart lady,” jaehyun replied and she looked up then. her face twisting in an scowl that was too cute to be remotely threatening considering she was four.
“no,” she argued, greatly offended. “my mommy is the smartest lady. and she’s one of my teachers too, she’s right over there.”
and it was in that moment that several things happened simultaneously.
yeoreum pointed at the wall to one of the women jaehyun had barely taken notice of when he walked in. his eyes looked up in the direction that her tiny hand pointed in and as he looked up, the woman turned her face away from him to say something to the other teacher so he couldn’t see her face but at the same time one of the kids from johnny’s table screamed dramatically.
“miss y/n!” the little boy wailed, and jaehyun felt his heart leap to his throat, and his stomach plummeted as if he were on a rollercoaster while he watched as the same lady who had turned away rush forward to see what the little boy needed, but jaehyun couldn’t even focus on that. he felt his world around him slow to a grinding halt, his eyes solely focused on you. on the small parts of your face he could visibly see due to the mask you wore.
but he was unsure how he had missed you when he walked in. yours was the face that he dreamt of, and he was sure his jaw was dropped. his eyes drifted slightly from your face to johnny whose expression probably matched his own, his eyes flickering between you and jaehyun.
jaehyun felt his mouth go dry in the next second as another realization hit him. he whipped his head to look down at the little girl next to him and she was intently focused on where her mom stood at the other table. jaehyun tried three times to swallow before he was successful.
“yeoreum?” he asked, voice shaking slightly.
she tore her eyes from you and looked up to make eye contact with jaehyun. “yes, mister jaehyun?”
“miss y/n is your mother?” he asked, face searching this little girls who, the more he looked, the more he found himself staring back.
“no, she’s my mommy.” she answered smartly.
“ah, yes. she’s your mommy…” he trailed off, eyes flickering back up to see you standing back with the other woman and you were pointedly avoiding eye contact with him, instead staring at yeoreum who was still looking at him.
“and yeoreum, how – when is your birthday?”
“may first,” she chirped and he dragged his eyes away from you to look down at the little girl and his face drained of all color entirely.
“um… mister jaehyun? you look like you don’t feel so good.” she said worriedly, and he gulped again, trying to calm his nerves. his mental math couldn’t be that wrong, could it? there’s no way, was there? no, those dimples were undeniable evidence.
someone somewhere had pity on him, because right when he felt that he may pass out or throw up or do a combination of both, their manager came out and called the session with the idols to an end, the cameras folding up then and were put away and the other teacher called everyone to come stand with you and her.
yeoreum stood up and patted her dress, and she reached down and pulled on jaehyun’s hand to have him stand up with her.
“c’mon mister jaehyun, i want you to meet my mommy so you can see that she’s the smartest lady in the whole world,” and as jaehyun slowly stood to his feet, yeoreum waved her hand to have him bend down to her level so she could whisper conspiratorially in his ear. “but don’t tell miss jisoo, she may get upset.”
jaehyun could only nod as she pulled him over to the other kids and you, and he braced himself for disaster.
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you had fought tooth and nail with the principal of your center about going to SM. you knew the chances of jaehyun being one of the idols to work with would be slim but you didn’t want to take that chance. however when she had asked you the reason why you were so adamant against going to the entertainment company’s headquarters, you couldn’t very well give her the reason that your child’s clueless father works there. it would open up more questions and you had done well the past five years keeping it under wraps that no one knew who yeoreum’s father was, not even your mother.
you had realized after he had blocked your number of who he was when you did a google search of ‘jaehyun korea entertainment’ to see page after page of his face, and you realized he was a common name in korea. it made a little more sense then as to why he suddenly started ignoring you.
you thought he may have been different based on the hours of conversations you both shared, but since he was a celebrity, you assumed you were just another person on his list of hookups throughout his tour stops.
and so when you saw him walk in with two of his other members, you felt your heart jump. and then when you saw he sat at your daughter’s table your heart immediately sank and you felt your body get hot, the same feeling you felt when you found out you were pregnant.
you stood at the back with your co-teacher, hiding in plain sight. you were thankful that you had made it to the end, the interaction between them going well even if he didn’t know.
he seemed to almost have an instant attachment to her and you couldn’t help the way your heart swooped when he bent around her to help her with her coloring. it was a few moments after that that she noticed yeoreum point her tiny finger in your direction and you almost cursed aloud.
you quickly turned your head to look at jisoo, trying to find any random question to ask her to start a conversation to avoid his eye contact but when you heard one of your students, a little boy named yunho, screaming for you across the room you only allowed yourself three seconds to panic before you crossed the room to see what was the matter.
you briefly made eye contact with the man, you had learned his name was johnny after researching jaehyun’s group, and he looked like a deer caught in the headlights. you ignored him after that, understanding that he must have known about you and that somehow both angered and embarrassed you.
“what’s wrong, yunho?” you asked as you crouched next to the crying boy.
“min-minhee,” he hiccupped, big alligator tears falling down his face. “minhee took my crayon and i was still using it!” and you patted the young boy’s head affectionately.
“minhee…” you started, voice slightly scolding and the other boy mentioned was purposefully looking away from you. “is that true?”
minhee turned his head further away from you and you couldn’t help but laugh slightly, “minhee, you know that isn’t nice.” after a few seconds, and another glance up at johnny who was now looking at the table behind you, eyes wide.
minhee finally turned around and gave yunho back his crayon and apologized after you prompted him to do so. crisis averted, you took a deep breath and stood up, purposefully avoiding the table your daughter sat at but when you reached the wall, you felt his eyes on you but instead you noticed how your daughter stared up at him, eyes already full of adoration.
the cameras were put away and jisoo called everyone’s attention. you were focused on the other children gathering up, doing headcounts one by one until you heard a soft, “mommy?” from behind you.
“what is it, baby?” you asked turning around, expecting to see your daughter but instead came face to face with jaehyun who your daughter had in tow.
“this is mister jaehyun, and i wanted him to meet you so i could show him how sma – show him my teacher.” she fumbled over her sentence and you furrowed your brows at her choice of words.
“hello miss y/n,” jaehyun choked out, and you noticed his face was very pale. you wanted to laugh and tell him that it served him right, but you wanted to pretend that you didn’t know him, even though you clearly did.
“hello,” you greeted, overly formal as if to create distance between you two.
“yeoreum… yeoreum tells me her birthday is in may. is that true?” were the first words to tumble out of his mouth. you noticed jisoo had rounded up the kids and started to lead them out of the room.
“yeoreum, sweetheart, go stand with miss jisoo, okay? i’ll be right there.” you said as you looked down, cupping your little girls cheek sweetly and she smiled up at you.
“okay mommy!” she said, running off to walk with the class who was leaving the room.
you felt the presence of two more people walking up and you glanced to see johnny and another man, mark you thought his name was, walk up to stand awkwardly a few feet away. johnny definitely seemed to know, but mark looked clueless as to why they were there.
“is that true?” jaehyun pressed again, and you turned your full attention to him now, ignoring the other two men in your vicinity.
“yes, her birthday is may first.” you replied, voice a little sharp and you saw jaehyun visibly wince at the tone.
jaehyun didn’t even care that mark was here now, listening in. his mind was racing with so many questions and he just wanted to know the answers to them regardless of who was around.
“that’s nine months…” he trailed off then.
“yes, it is.” the same tone didn’t falter.
“i… i… is she mine?” he finally asked then, heart bracing for the answer but then you laughed and it was a cold laugh, much different from the happy ones he recalled in his dreams, and he recoiled slightly.
“you’re not on the birth certificate,” your lips were flat, turning pale from the pressure of keeping your anger at bay.
“that’s not – no, please, y/n. is she mine?” he pressed, his hands ready to beg you for an answer.
“is she your daughter? yes.” you answered him in an angry whisper. “but she’s not yours, she’s mine.” and jaehyun flinched again at how harsh your words were.
jaehyun was silent for a long moment and you scoffed, turning away from him then to go meet up with your class.
“have you told anyone?” he asked, and he wasn’t sure why he even asked that question because he knew if you had, it would have made headlines. you froze then, and he could have sworn you were visibly shaking. you turned and glared at him, such an angry look he didn’t know it was possible to feel so small from just a single expression.
“no, jaehyun, i haven’t.” you spat, your anger making your skin flush in how hard you tried to control your voice and your temper. “so don’t worry, you can go back to living your golden life without any responsibilities. i won’t be asking you for money, i won’t be coming back here, and i won’t be going to the press. but not for your sake, oh no, i couldn’t give a fuck. only for hers.” you turned and walked away, your hand stilling on the doorknob when you heard him call to you.
“no, wait! y/n that’s – that’s not what i meant, please. can – can i meet her? spend time with her?” you didn’t turn around, your hand on the knob tightening its grip for a moment, you lifted your head to stare at the ceiling and you sighed, the anger draining from you and just leaving you exhausted.
“you just did, and i think that was enough, don’t you? i don’t want you to decide the next morning that she’s not worth your time.”
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the door closed behind you as you left and all three men were stunned into silence at what had transpired. jaehyun had known you’d hate him if you saw him again, he knew that, he really did. he would have never pushed you to spend time with him after the way everything went down but now it was different.
he was a father now, or well, he had been a father the past four years and had no clue but now he was aware and he couldn’t just not try and be one. this had changed his world, how could he go about pretending that this hadn’t happened?
“dude… i am so confused right now. what the actual hell just happened?” mark finally spoke up, eyes darting between the two men standing with him. johnny didn’t look away from jaehyun to answer his question, nothing but extreme concern for his friend who looked like he had his whole world shaken up.
well, johnny thought almost comically, he did.
“i, um…” jaehyun started, eyes still not drifting away from the door you had just left from. “when we were on tours four years ago, um… johnny and i went to dinner, i don’t know if you remember? we had asked you if you wanted to go too, but you were already going with haechan and taeil.” jaehyun finally broke his trance he had on the door and turned to make eye contact with mark, who still sported the look of someone utterly bewildered. mark answered with a nod, not daring to open his mouth so he could listen to the rest of what jaehyun had to say.
“well, we went. just us two. and she was our waitress and she was, she is, so beautiful and she was flirting with me and so when she put her number on our receipt, johnny told me to go for it and… and i did. we talked for hours, and – and one thing led to another, and fuck.” jaehyun breathed out and then let out a humorless laugh at his word choice. he ran his hand through his hair roughly, the newly dyed blonde locks, tugging on them as he did so. “i left. i mean, i couldn’t have actually stayed with her, we had a show in another city and we had to leave and so i left. i tried to keep talking to her but… i stopped.”
mark blew out a hard breath at jaehyun’s explanation. “well, did you let her know? that you had to leave and that’s why?”
jaehyun shook his head, and johnny spoke up for him then. “our manager saw and lost it, he couldn’t reply to her because he was scared since it had been so long and then we left and our manager had his number changed when we got back.”
“did you still have her number though?” mark questioned, eyebrows coming together. jaehyun nodded hesitantly.
“dude, that’s so fucked. you should have explained to her then, she would have understood.” jaehyun hung his head, he was used to johnny consoling him in the assumption that he’d never have to see you again. he wasn’t used to his mistakes being so openly berated.
“poor y/n,” mark said then, turning to look at the door you had left out of. “having to raise a baby on her own like that, i don’t blame her for being as angry as she was. and then for you to ask –.”
“god, mark, yes. i know. i know i fucked up. but i have a kid… i have a daughter. i don’t want to be one of those dads, i don’t…” he trailed off, the way he felt sick dissipating, slowly being replaced with the dread of having his daughter grow up and have to tell people her dad was just absent when he knew about her now.
“then don’t.” johnny’s reply was simple. both jaehyun and mark turned to look at him. johnny shrugged as if it were easy.
“but she doesn’t –.” jaehyun went to say but johnny shook his head, the look he gave him shutting him up instantly.
“then don’t, jaehyun. you’re an adult. you made a mistake but it’s not eighteen years too late to try and fix it, just five. if chen can do this and end up just fine, you have just the same amount of chance that he does. you don’t wanna be a deadbeat dad? then don’t. easy as that. y/n isn’t going to like it at first but, she’ll come around if. you. make. an. effort.” mark was smiling at johnny’s answer, nodding along as he spoke and jaehyun stared open mouthed at him.
“you think it’ll work?”
“it doesn’t hurt to try,” mark chimed in. “plus, i saw the way she was watching you earlier, i kinda thought for a second she was going to be one of those weird stalkers but this makes so much more sense now.”
“how can i do this though? i don’t have her number or anything,” jaehyun asked, and he wanted so badly to get to know yeoreum, and to get to know you again. he wanted to see if things were that different, or if it was the years of anger building up. he couldn’t blame you at all for the things you said and for the way you reacted. he can imagine he’d do the same.
“am i gonna have to do everything myself?” johnny joked and jaehyun gave him a confused look.
“she works at the school that was just here. we have the principals contact information. therefore, we have her information. and if nothing else, we know where she works. you show up, you make a genuine effort, and you keep making an effort until she knows you’re serious. and you keep trying because that’s your daughter. you literally can’t deny her, she looks exactly like you.” jaehyun nodded, absorbing all the information that johnny had readily available in his brain. he hoped it was because he was an outsider looking in in this situation and not that jaehyun was just that dumb. maybe it was a bit of both.
“guys? come on, we have another schedule to meet in forty-five minutes,” their manager called, his head momentarily visible from the doorway. the three men made their way to exit, jaehyun’s mind reeling with what he was going to do and how he was going to do.
he had a daughter.
he was a father.
that thought alone was enough to make a grin slowly grow on his face.
“also,” mark spoke up suddenly, turning around to look at his friends. “do i need to have a talk with everyone about the importance of condoms?”
johnny snorted out a laugh, and jaehyun groaned loudly.
“yeah… i think i’m gonna at least text the dreamies. maybe ‘wrap it before you tap it’ or something like that. god, can you imagine jisung with a child?” mark’s face looked horrified, but his joke effectively broke the tense feeling jaehyun had held for the past twenty minutes and johnny laughed, clapping mark on the shoulder as he and jaehyun exited the door.
“jisung is an adult, mark. he’s a grown ass man. they don’t need ‘the talk’.”
“yes they do, they can be forty and they’re still going to be children to me!” mark yelled as he followed them out.
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jaehyun couldn’t remember the last time he had butterflies this bad since maybe his debut. his heart hadn’t stopped racing since johnny handed him a slip of paper discreetly at practice later that night, and when jaehyun unfolded the paper he saw an address and a phone number scrawled in small letters.
“maybe go to her work, instead of calling first.” johnny had whispered to him rather conspicuously in the far corner of the room.
“wouldn’t it be better to give her a heads up though? i don’t want to ruin this before i even really get the chance to get to know yeoreum.” jaehyun said, the desperation for this to work out evident on his face. he wasn’t sure when he had ever wanted something so badly, but his thoughts had been consumed by this little girl that he had no idea existed until twelve hours ago.
“sure, it might seem a little creepy but this way she can physically see you’re serious and won’t block you immediately out of spite,” johnny shrugged at his friend. “i know i'd block you.”
jaehyun gave him a deadpan look, “that’s very comforting, thanks.”
a sudden pair of arms throwing themselves around jaehyun’s shoulders made his eyes grow wide but seeing johnny unconcerned made him relax a little.
“so who is blocking jaehyun hyung immediately?” haechan asked from over jaehyun’s shoulder.
jaehyun fished for a response, trying to think of an answer and johnny beat him to it with the most basic of answers.
“your mom.” johnny said, a wide grin growing on his face at the offended look on haechan’s face that jaehyun couldn’t see.
“you better not be texting my mom!” haechan argued, voice rising an octave directly in jaehyun’s ear making the man wince sharply. “she’s married and i don’t want a step-dad this late in my life.”
johnny pushed away from the wall and jaehyun was thankful for johnny’s distraction, because as he walked away haechan moved to follow him, arguing with the taller man even if it started out as a joke.
this gave jaehyun the time to stare down at the folded piece of paper that had been crumpled in his hand, he memorized the number on it like the paper would disintegrate if he didn’t and as he moved on to the address he attempted to formulate a plan.
the plan may have been half-assed in hindsight, jaehyun realized as he stood out in front of the pre-school you worked at, staying out of sight of any passerby who may recognize him. he was sure he wouldn’t be noticed that easily as his hood was up, mask secured over his nose but he was so nervous of someone saying something to ruin his one shot at getting you to listen to him.
he distracted himself with scrolling through his phone, flipping between different social medias while he waited, and his heart skipped a beat when he heard your voice calling a goodbye to your coworkers as you exited the building.
“mommy, can we go get some ice cream? i got a green smiley on my report today from miss jisoo, you know i was good today!” he heard yeoreum ask cutely, and you turned the corner to walk in his direction and he watched as you looked down at her. you held her hand and your smile was so gentle he couldn’t help but get lost in it for a moment.
you were going to respond but you noticed his presence at that moment, looking up and staring harshly at him, he could see you bristle. you didn’t immediately recognize him, jaehyun noticed with the way you tugged yeoreum to stand behind you and jaehyun raised his hands in surrender, tugging his mask down so you could see his face and you released a breath, relaxing instantly.
“mister jaehyun!” yeoreum cheered from behind you, bouncing forward with her hands holding on to the straps of her little yellow backpack. jaehyun crouched to be level with her, his elbows resting on his knees and his dimpled smile was an exact replica of hers.
“hi yeoreum, i heard you say you were good today in school. if your mommy is okay with it, do you think i get you that ice cream you wanted?” jaehyun asked the little girl, but his eyes were looking up at you and your mouth was pressed in a firm line. yeoreum whirled on the spot to look up at you.
“oh please, mommy? mister jaehyun will pay for it so it’s free!” yeoreum pleaded, adding information that wasn’t exactly given yet and jaehyun couldn’t help but laugh at that detail. you clearly debated on it for a moment, but the hopeful look on your daughters face was already giving you an answer.
“sure, sweetie.” you said softly, eyes cutting up to glance at jaehyun, trying to figure out what he was getting at. yeoreum pulled you by the hand, and then she boldly grabbed jaehyun’s hand as well, leading the way to the convenience store you often made stops to on the way home from school.
you didn’t say a word as you walked, jaehyun keeping a conversation going with yeoreum, asking her about the things in school she liked and it went on like that for a few minutes until you entered the store and you greeted the elderly woman who ran it politely. yeoreum darted to the ice cream section and you finally had a moment without her present.
“what are you trying to do here, jaehyun?” you asked coldly, and his smile never wavered, his mood too high to allow it to come down.
“i’m trying to get to know my daughter that i didn’t know existed until yesterday.” he answered you, his voice hushed as to keep the store owner from eavesdropping, but you didn’t detect any obvious lies in his statement.
“i told you –.” you started, and he cut you off.
“i know what you said, believe me. i heard you loud and clear, but please y/n,” and your eyes widened at the sincerity in his voice, he was seconds away from begging dramatically. “please just give me one chance. i want to be in her life, i want to be there for her.”
yeoreum skipped over, holding three ice cream bars in her arms.
“look mommy, i got your favorite. and mister jaehyun, i got you my favorite. you’ll like it because it’s the best!” she said with such confidence that jaehyun chuckled at her as she walked right up to the counter.
“well you’re in luck because that just so happens to be my favorite, too.” jaehyun offered and the girl beamed at him.
“mommy likes this flavor,” she pointed to the only one that was different as the elderly woman scanned the three items. she motioned for him to come to her level, and when he bent down she cupped her hands cutely to whisper in jaehyun’s ear. “and don’t tell her but it’s really yucky.”
the more time jaehyun spent around this little girl the more he felt himself getting wrapped around her finger. he brought a finger to his lips conspiratorially and he turned to make eye contact with you and your eyebrows raised.
“hey, what’s with the secrets?” you frowned in confusion, head tilting slightly and at the motion jaehyun felt his heart skip a beat. he recalled the same exact motion five years ago, and he had to swallow hard to pull himself out of the memory.
“oh, nothing. yeoreum just told me a funny joke.” he answered, giving yeoreum a wink and she giggled at the secret that they now had, her hand coming up to cover her mouth as she laughed.
“hmmm,” you responded, accepting the ice cream bars and thanking the woman as you exited. the park was only a short distance away and that’s where you headed, sitting down on a bench as you opened yeoreum’s ice cream and she dove in immediately.
you allowed them to talk easily, and you felt your resolve slowly chipping away with every smile they shared with each other. you recalled one of the many conversations you had had with friends, one most recently being your coworker and friend jisoo. she had suggested for the umpteenth time that you should reach out to the father and give him the option to be in yeoreum’s life.
“i don’t want him to get tired of her, it would be devastating for her, and me too.” you had argued then and jisoo’s look was unamused.
“you haven’t even given him the chance, you have no clue if he’d even do that. you can’t make that assumption, time changes people.”
you were realizing she was right as you watched her giggle over him dripping ice cream on his shoes, yeoreum commenting how it’s not that hard to not be messy and jaehyun laughed at her disappointed sigh.
you had made up your mind by then, the ice cream finished and you noticed the time was getting a little late, knowing you’d have to get her ready for bed.
“come on, ‘reum. we gotta get ready for bed soon.” you said softly, interrupting their conversation and yeoreum nodded, hopping off of the bench she sat on with jaehyun. she walked over to stand beside you but she turned to jaehyun.
“mister jaehyun, will i see you again?” she asked and her voice was so hopeful that jaehyun looked to you for an answer.
“one chance,” you mouthed to him seriously, holding up one finger to emphasize your point over yeoreum’s head and jaehyun’s eyes shone with relief as he made eye contact with yeoreum.
“i’d love to, i’ll come see you anytime.” jaehyun nodded and yeoreum clapped excitedly, turning to look at you as she did so and you couldn’t help the answering smile that crossed your face. you took her small hand in yours and you began to walk in the direction of your home and she paused, turning around and waving enthusiastically goodbye to jaehyun who was still seated on the wooden park bench.
“see you soon, mister jaehyun!” she called and then she was pulling you away; jaehyun watching you both leave and he felt at peace knowing this plan went so much better than he could have ever hoped it would.
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you had just put yeoruem to sleep in her little princess bed, she had talked nonstop the entire way home, all through dinner, and then during her bath until you finally got her to sleep, about mister jaehyun.
the idea of her getting to know him brought on two strong emotions and they teetered back and forth in your mind, an eerily well-balanced scale.
on one hand, you were excited for her to get to know her father, she deserved to have both parents who loved her.
on the other hand, you were terrified of how this would play out fully. would he leave once people found out? would he pretend she didn’t exist?
your thoughts ran in circles over and over, and you didn’t get anywhere productive. the only thing you had settled on was that until you knew for sure where this would go, you would make sure jaehyun wouldn’t mention a word of being her dad.
you didn’t want to have to pick up the pieces of her small heart if he shattered it.
your phone dinged and it pulled you out of your thoughts, you paused the show you had barely been paying attention to so you could focus.
9:31 pm unknown: hello… do you have plans tomorrow?
9:32 pm you: depends on who’s asking...?
9:33 pm unknown: oh, yeah my bad. this is jaehyun, johnny got me your number from your boss
9:34 pm you: ok… that’s not weird at all… but no. no plans besides work and yeoruem. why?
9:35 pm he who must not be named 💀:  how do you feel about coming over? i can cook for you both, or maybe order pizza. whatever yeoreum wants to eat haha
9:37 pm you: she’s not picky, but i guess i won’t mind. will your members mind?
9:38 pm he who must not be named 💀: ah, right. well, see i’m telling them tomorrow so they won’t really have a choice.
9:40 pm you: … don’t make this weird for us, jaehyun.
9:42 pm he who must not be named 💀: i’m not! i won’t, i’ll send someone for you tomorrow at 6?
9:47 pm you: we can get there, just give me the address and i’ll see you then
9:48 pm he who must not be named 💀: [current location]
you audibly sighed, staring at the phone showing the address, you clicked it to see that he didn’t live too far from you and you just shook your head, you were going to leave it at that, but your thought from earlier hit you again and you typed a response.
9:55 pm you: i have a request for you
10:01 pm he who must not be named 💀: ask
10:02 pm you: i’m not going to keep you from getting to know her, because it makes her happy and she deserves that. but i don’t want you to mention anything to her about you being her dad
10:05 pm he who must not be named 💀: and that’s because…?
10:06 pm you: i just wanna be sure. i’d rather you be some cool man she spent time with if you decide differently
10:07 pm he who must not be named 💀: okay and when you see that i’m not gonna ghost my own daughter, is there a statute of limitations on this or what?
10:08 pm you: i’ll let you know
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jaehyun paced back and forth in the living room, he hadn’t heard from you since you assured him you’d be coming by at 6 like agreed. he had went a little overboard on the pizza, considering there were now five different boxes on the counter and he may have went on a shopping spree at a small children’s toy store.
now all eight of his members sat in different spots in the too large living room as he walked back and forth, stopping to check on his phone and then once he saw there wasn’t a notification from you, he went back to his path he had made.
“you’re gonna wear a hole through the floor,” johnny deadpanned and jaehyun ignored him.
“hyung?” it was haechan this time trying to get jaehyun to stop moving and jaehyun did, looking up to see what the youngest wanted.
“this isn’t your first time meeting her, right?” haechan seemed genuinely confused.
“no, this is the second, technically third time now.” he answered, forgetting about his phone in his pocket for a moment.
“okay, then why are you freaking out?” haechan asked, resting his chin in his palm.
“well…” jaehyun was at a brief loss for words. “y/n is unsure about me being around her already, so i guess i’m worried she’s going to… stop.”
“stop what?” taeyong asked from the other side of the room and jaehyun turned on the spot to face him.
“stop letting me see her, stop responding to me, just, stop altogether.” jaehyun looked crestfallen as he waved his hands around but a snort from his left made him glare at yuta.
“what? like you did to her?” yuta smirked at the stressed man, and jaehyun threw his arms up, throwing his head back as he stared at the ceiling for a long moment.
he hadn’t expected this kind of reaction at all when he called a group meeting in the living room hours earlier; he had told mark and johnny he planned to tell everyone because he had wanted you and yeoreum to come to the house and they had only nodded and helped him gather everyone. mark and johnny purposely sat on the couch in the corner of the room so they could watch it all unfold.
jaehyun had started the whole thing by clearing his throat three times before he even opened his mouth.
“i-,” he began but yuta narrowed his eyes at him and twisted his lips for a second.
“you got some girl pregnant, didn’t you?” his question was so blunt it took everyone off guard, mark almost falling out of his seat on the couch entirely. haechan, who sat on the arm of yuta’s chair, shoved his shoulder roughly. jaehyun, however, was stunned into silence, mouth agape and yuta laughed at his reaction.
“jaehyun, he’s joking. now why did you call us all here?” taeyong said, shooting a stern look at yuta before turning his full attention to the man who stood in the center of the room. keeping the peace like he always did, but jaehyun was so much more nervous now after yuta’s comment, regardless of how correct it was.
“okay, so,” jaehyun began and went through the entire story again. something he had kept to himself all these years, and he was finally letting everyone in on his tiny, but impactful, moment of freedom he had with you.
“and so when we filmed our content for the youtube segment, the one with kids, you know?” and when everyone nodded, all but three mouths were hanging in stunned silence. “this little girl was at my table, and she was adorable and smart and highly independent but like, some kids are like that. until she pointed out her mother to me, and –.”
jungwoo gasped dramatically, leaning so far forward in his chair as he listened to jaehyun that he was practically on the floor. “no fucking way!”
“yes, way.” mark answered for him, and jaehyun continued.
“y/n, yeah. y/n was her mother, and yeoreum was born exactly nine months after, and yeah. i… i have a daughter that i had no clue existed but i want to be her dad, i haven’t wanted something this bad since we debuted, and… yeah.”
“okay… okay…” taeyong repeated, seemingly in shock as he processed everything that was just said.
“okay?” jaehyun asked, wanting someone to say something.
“okay.” taeyong replied, making eye contact with him. “well, we’re not going to let you be a shitty father.”
“anymore.” haechan said under his breath and yuta snickered with him.
“i had no clue!” jaehyun argued in defense of himself.
“how do you even know she’s actually yours?” taeil asked, his posture was relaxed in his chair, recovering from the shock of the news more quickly than the others had.
“she -.” he started but doyoung butted in then.
“how do you know she’s not using you as a way to get money? she could have slept with someone else.” doyoung seemed even less convinced than taeil was.
“oh no, wait til you see her,” mark said from his spot in the room. “he can’t deny her even if he tried.”
“what? i won’t believe it until i see the test results.” doyoung said, and taeil nodded.
“she hasn’t asked me for anything,” jaehyun argued, feeling a little defensive over you then.
“yet.” taeil murmured, and johnny chose then to speak up.
“you weren’t there in the room, neither of you. she didn’t want anything to do with jaehyun, and she very, very clearly stated that she didn’t even want him around her.”
“and she asked me to refrain from even mentioning that i was her dad.” jaehyun tacked on, and taeil didn’t seem convinced nor did doyoung. silence stretched on for a moment.
“so when do we get to meet yeoreum?” haechan asked then, and jaehyun checked his watch.
“in about three hours,” he replied and everyone jumped as if they had been startled.
“what?!” came at him from all directions of the room.
“nothing in here is childproof!” taeyong exclaimed, jumping to his feet.
“she’s five, not two, she’s not going to go stick her finger in light sockets,” mark chuckled and taeyong relaxed slightly.
“she’s four, but yeah, same thing applies,” johnny corrected him and then silence fell over the room again.
“i will say, i can’t blame y/n,” yuta spoke up then, his eyes trained on the floor for a long moment. “if i were her, i wouldn’t have even given you the option. she’s a lot more forgiving than i would be if you knocked me up, ghosted me and then suddenly by a coincidence showed up again.”
“well that’s because you’re a scorpio,” jungwoo said. “and it feels kinda like fate to me.”
“that’s exactly what i said!” mark laughed, pointing at jungwoo animatedly.
and the conversation carried on like that up until he started pacing, jaehyun had been grateful that they all, well almost all, took it in stride and were supportive. but the jabs from yuta were making him even more anxious, and no matter how many times taeyong glared at yuta and told him to shut up, he couldn’t relax.
and then his phone buzzed in his hand.
6:15 pm pizza hut: um, sorry we’re a bit late, the train was delayed but uh… security guy won’t let us in
“shit,” jaehyun whispered, and he was halfway towards the door when your next text came through.
6:16 pm pizza hut: and it’s raining, so we can go home it’s not a big deal
his panic he felt while pacing came back full force and taeyong called to him.
“what’s going on?”
“security guard won’t let her in,” jaehyun rambled quickly.
“that’s all?” he replied, and taeyong pulled out his phone, pressed a few buttons on the screen and had his phone to his ear in seconds.
“hi, mr. choi? yes, can you please escort our guests to the elevators. yes, we were expecting her. no, don’t leave them out in the rain any longer. yes… thank you. have a goodnight.”
taeyong hung up the phone, and gestured to the door, “she’s in the elevator on their way up.”
jaehyun exhaled deeply, for the first time since he woke up that morning. and while he could breathe easily, the entire room held their breath at the sound of a gentle knock against the door.
jaehyun all but lunged at the door and opened it wide. the other eight men in the living room didn’t move a muscle.
“mister jaehyun!” yeoreum squealed excitedly when she saw him filling the entrance and their smiles were exact replicas of each other and jaehyun gestured you both inside.
“yeoreum, shoes baby.” you said softly, and the members had yet to see any faces, but smiles broke out on their faces as they heard a quick, “right! sorry mommy!”
jaehyun led you both out of the foyer and into the living room and you froze when you saw eight men staring at you both when you entered the room. you had prepared for this, expecting it to be awkward but being this… intense wasn’t exactly how you pictured it.  
yeoreum stepped in between you and jaehyun and you looked down to see her bow to the room.
“hello, my name is yeoreum and i’m four years old.” and you peeked up to see the intense stares break out into wide grins.
yeoreum stood up straight and then tugged on your pants.
“mommy, you said it’s rude to not introduce yourself to people who you don’t know.” she said it so seriously, but you and several others in the room chuckled at her respect for manners. at least she paid attention to you when you spoke.
you didn’t bow as yeoreum had, simply dipping your head as you introduced yourself.
“happy?” you said to yeoreum, poking her in the nose and she giggled in response. you heard faint gasps from deeper in the room but you ignored it as your daughter stared into the room and the men must have realized that her comment applied to them as well.
the first one to cross the room was a face you faintly recognized. he knelt down to be on her level and his smile was gentle.
“hi yeoreum, i’m mister jaehyun’s friend. my name is taeil.” and yeoreum nodded, and she smiled at every one who introduced themselves to her and you. she recognized johnny and even gave mark a high five. the last one was haechan, and he was the most energetic of all to meet her.
“hi!” he chirped to her, and she parroted back to him the same exact way, and he continued, his voice filled with a joking kind of pride. “my name is haechan, and i’m the coolest one here.”
“is that why your hair is blue?” yeoreum asked, tilting her head to the side cutely.
“yep, only the coolest have blue hair.” he replied, shaking his head playfully and yeoreum’s laugh filled the room again.
“also, do you wanna see all the cool stuff mister jaehyun got you?” haechan asked, and finally gestured to the couch that held different plushies and toys that the older lady at the shop had suggested for kids her age. yeoreum stared at all the toys then turned around to stare up at jaehyun.
“all of that is mine?” and even you were in shock and the sheer amount of toys piled on the couch.
“yep, all yours.” jaehyun replied, crouching down to be on the same level as yeoreum and haechan.
“but that’s… so much.” she whispered loudly, peeking again at all the toys.
“if you don’t like them all that’s okay, i just wanted to get you something,” his smile was gentle and reassuring. she looked at you for permission and when you nodded at her, she went to the couch and looked at all the plushies. she looked at them, and then at everyone in the room, then back at the toys staring intently.
and one by one, she pulled a different stuffed animal from the pile and handed it to each man in the room. she started by giving haechan a blue teddy bear, and continued on until every grown man was holding a small soft plushie, and she beamed with happiness.
you knew they couldn’t say no and jaehyun could see their wariness melting with each toy she gave. and even though he knew he probably had no right to feel it, he felt a sense of pride in her generosity and he knew she could have only learned that from you. he was the last one to receive a toy and it was a fluffy orange cat.
“thank you, yeoreum. that’s very sweet of you.” he told her sincerely and she blinked at him as if it weren’t something out of the ordinary.
“there’s a lot to share,” she replied and then she remembered something and it lit up her entire face, her voice raising in her excitement. “mommy said you got pizza!”
“yep,” he answered her question that wasn’t a question. “i didn’t know which kind you liked so you have a lot of choices.”
yeoreum picked the same pizza to eat that jaehyun had, which didn’t go unnoticed by everyone in the room as he was the only one to actually like pineapple on pizza. she had made herself at home easily, not missing a beat to pull half of the men into the living room to play with her and the toys jaehyun had gotten for her.
you had been there for a total of thirty minutes before you had been made to feel somewhat welcome. you enjoyed watching the members spend time with yeoreum, as she didn’t have many men in her life to really associate with, and the boys in her class didn’t really count.
you had to bite back a smile at the conversation you had overhead moments before.
“yeoreum is a pretty name, it’s unique too.” mark said, sitting cross-legged where she had instructed him to sit.
“thank you, mommy said she did it so it would be easy because my english name is summer.” yeoreum replied somewhat distractedly in english, causing all eyes to blink slowly at the sudden change in language.
“but she was born in may?” jaehyun looked at you, and you shrugged.
“i was on drugs and in pain, i at least had the right idea.” which caused a few laughs to echo around the room.
after that, you seemed to be fairly content with just observing. you leaned against the kitchen counter, chewing slowly on a piece of pizza as you watched her try to win a tickle fight with mark and succeeding with the way his laughter didn’t come out as forced.
you didn’t speak much with the other members, mostly enjoying being a presence in the room, that is until you felt a body move close to your side and you turned to face the new person, remembering his name was doyoung. when he didn’t say anything to you, you turned away and went back to watching how the tickle fight was absolutely being lost by mark then.
“i have reservations about this,” doyoung said to you then, his voice hardly above a whisper.
you turned again to face him but he looked forward, eyes trained on the guys sitting around enjoying the little girls antics. realizing he wasn’t going to face you for this conversation you went back to your previous position, this time bringing the pizza to your mouth again.
“and?” you asked him, voice matching his tone and doyoung shifted forward to rest his forearms against the counter. he waited until your mouth was full of pizza before he spoke again.
“and jaehyun’s so excited about this, he went on and on about it and he doesn’t even know if she’s actually his.” doyoung’s blunt words made you defensive, even though you had expected something like this, it still made you react, but doyoung continued before you could swallow.
“i think he needs to get a dna test before he gets too attached.” doyoung said, finally turning to face you and you narrowed your eyes at him as he did so.
“what? you think i’m lying?” you said through gritted teeth, but doyoung’s stance didn’t change.
“i’m not going to judge you, i don’t know anything about you. i’m just trying to protect one of my best friends. especially if you decide to rip this whole ‘being a father’ thing out from under him.”
“exactly, you don’t know anything about me.” you said shortly, your temper’s fuse quickly reaching its end. you pushed yourself away from the counter then before you continued. “and there’s nothing to protect him from, i don’t want anything from him. he tracked me down after i told him to leave me alone. he asked to see her, not me. we will be just as we were before he made his grand appearance, should he decide the father life isn’t for him.”
doyoung searched your face while you spoke, but you abruptly changed the conversation when you asked him where the bathroom was. doyoung gestured down the hall and watched as you left, when the shadows in the hall swallowed you he turned his attention back to watch the scene unfold.
haechan and mark were getting to be children again as they played some sort of mock game of house with yeoreum, using the plushies she had gifted them.
jaehyun was sitting next to her, his back against the couch as she made him in charge of holding the rest of the plushies, doyoung heard her mention that he was the house and so he had to be really, really still.
“where’s your dad?” haechan asked, his voice exaggeratingly deep for his character his bear was playing.
“i don’t have one,” yeoreum said, and she moved her plushie away from haechan’s but every man in the room froze. doyoung’s eyes darted to jaehyun’s face to judge his face, but he couldn’t quite read it.
“wh-what do you mean, yeo?” mark asked using his little lion to carry on the game for her.
“mommy said daddy is a really busy man,” she said matter-of-factly, she didn’t notice how all the eyes in the room were trained on her, and how the air seemed to still in preparation for her answer. “she said he’s a busy business man who flies all over the world and she said that a lot of daddies and mommies do that and that it’s okay!”
she was still happy as she spoke, still involved in her game of house she had roped them into playing with her.
“it really is okay,” mark said softly, forgetting his role for a moment.
“yep! it’s super okay because my mommy is really strong and she got so strong so she could take care of me all by herself.” yeoreum’s tiny body puffed up in all the pride a four year old could muster.
“but don’t you miss your dad?” haechan’s bear asked yeoreum’s little white fluffy bear.
“well yeah, all the other kids dads come and pick them up from school but mommy says that just because my daddy has a lot of stuff he has to do first, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love me.” and then, for the first time, yeoreum’s voice became a bit quieter. “i don’t know my daddy, but i hope mommy’s right.”  
doyoung’s eyes had danced back and forth between her and jaehyun, noticing the more she spoke, the more jaehyun’s face seemed to fall and it wasn’t long before doyoung though he saw the man tearing up.
“of course your mommy’s right, ‘reum,” jaehyun said softly behind her. she twisted around in her spot on the floor, looking up at him and she tilted her head at him when she saw his tears spill over, confused on why he was so sad. she shuffled forward to get closer to him and she frowned, bringing her arms to wrap around his neck tightly and jaehyun felt the tears hit him harder and he didn’t even care that everyone else in the room was witnessing this. his arms wrapped tightly around her little body, and he used his palm to try and wipe away some of the tears from his cheek.
“mommy said it’s okay to cry, and that hugs are a good bandaid,” yeoreum said, voice taking a knowing tone.
jaehyun nodded against her head, his eyes drifting to the hallway where he could see you standing there. your expression was unreadable to him, but your lips were pursed tightly.
 “your mommy is right,” he repeated again, pulling her small hands away from his face then. “about the hugs and that your daddy was really busy but he definitely loves you.”
“do you know him?” she asked, pulling away from his neck to look at him earnestly, and jaehyun’s eyes crinkled at the edges, pulling away from your form in the hallway to look at his daughter again.
“i do, yeah,” jaheyun answered, “and he missed you so much.”
“can you tell him i miss him too? can you tell him that he can come pick me up from school?” she said excitedly and you chose that moment to interrupt. you couldn’t be sure where the rest of the conversation was going, you didn’t know if jaehyun would keep his word about not saying he was her dad and you could see her getting her hopes up too high, and you knew you had to be the bad guy.
“yeoruem, baby. it’s time we go home now, we have school in the morning.” you called softly, walking over to your little girl and she pouted up at you, but she didn’t argue, she just slowly got to her feet, hugging her teddy bear tightly to her chest.
“say thank you, they were very nice to play with you,” you nudged her softly and she did as she was told, genuinely happy to have been able to play with her new friends. you both started walking to the door and she turned suddenly, running to hug jaehyun once more before she left.
you saw she had whispered something to him as she pulled away and you saw jaehyun break out into a smile again.
“i will,” he said to her and with a happy nod yeoreum was back with you again.
with yeoreum’s shoes finally on, you both exited the door and were halfway to the elevator when you heard a door close and footsteps thumping towards you. you were both surprised and… not at all surprised to see jaehyun behind you, a new gleam in his eye as he tugged on his hood and put a mask into place over his nose.
“i would feel more comfortable if i took you home since it’s late.” he said nonchalantly. “i can drive us, if you want.”
“i don’t have a car seat for yeoreum,” you replied and jaehyun shrugged easily. “walking you home it is then.”
you were going to protest but yeoreum had already put her stuffed animal in your hand before grabbing your other one and one of jaehyun’s, tugging you both towards the elevator.
she had started chatting away about something you couldn’t even pay attention to, too entirely focused on the way jaehyun’s hand enveloped hers, your eyes trailing from his hand to his face and you weren’t sure what it was about it. maybe it was all the moments pulled together, primarily the past hour alone, but you felt an unmistakable skip of your heartbeat at the way he smiled down at your excited little girl.
you were too busy gazing up at jaehyun to even noticed the eight heads poking out of the doorway almost comically as they watched you three enter the elevator, being led by a headstrong four year old.
“they make a cute little family,” jungwoo mentioned, only pulling his head inside once he heard the elevator doors close; the members immediately talking animatedly about the new niece they seemed to automatically claim as their own.
no one noticed doyoung walking to his room, the tiny cup that yeoreum had used in his hand.
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it took all of three minutes into the walk home for yeoreum to yawn loudly and rub her eyes sleepily.
“did you get tired from playing with everyone?” you asked her and she nodded, all the cheerful excitement ebbing away from her slowly. you went to pick her up to carry her the rest of the way but jaehyun stopped you, eyes asking permission before he made a move and after a brief hesitation, you nodded to him with a smile.
“i got you, ‘reum, come here,” he said soothingly, picking her up and holding her close. she instantly laid her head down on his shoulder and you snorted at how quickly she closed her eyes. you cooed at how sweet she was, and jaehyun visibly glowed at how she seemed to relax with him instantly.
“you know you don’t have to do all of this,” you said to him after a few moments of yeoreum’s slow breathing. and jaehyun sighed deeply.
“look i know you think i’m this really shitty person who just ditched you, and i know that that’s how you must have felt but it wasn’t my intention. my manager saw our messages, you know. and even though I was still an adult then, we didn’t have nearly as much freedom as we do now. he yelled at me for an hour about being reckless with my career and all that. even though it doesn’t change anything, i didn’t do any of it on purpose or maliciously. and i’m sorry you had to do this alone.” he said, looking down at you the entire time he had been talking, wanting to see your face through his shortened explanation.
“it was really hard, at first, and i’ve been angry for awhile.” you said, voice soft and vulnerable after you thought a moment before deciding to give him honesty. “i had no clue what to tell any of my friends, and when i googled you i almost threw up, but i think that was from the pregnancy and not the news of you being famous. it made sense then to me what all had happened, but i couldn’t tell my parents the truth and so i had to say i didn’t know who the dad was. mortifying, really. my parents still haven’t spoken to me since then. and i love yeoreum more than anything, but i really… i think i hated you this whole time.” you don’t make eye contact as you confess to him a snippet of what had happened, a glimpse into how you felt.
jaehyun was stunned at all he had learned about you, he knew you probably had hated him, and he was right on that. he was horrified to learn that you really, truly had been alone through all of this. he didn’t know why but he had assumed, since he had learned of this at least, you would have had your parents to help support you, and it made his stomach turn knowing it was the opposite.
“but i don’t hate you now,” you admitted softly, looking ahead at the crosswalk sign, waiting for it to give you the okay to cross.
“oh? one day was all it took?” jaehyun asked a bit hopefully with a playful smile, his heart leaping in his chest at the statement, and he couldn’t quite place his finger on why it made him so excited to hear those words. you didn’t respond right away only rolling your eyes, and pulling a set of keys from your pocket and jaehyun realized you must be close to your place.
“but don’t get too excited, the statute has only been bumped up, not removed entirely,” you teased, and you unlocked the door that sat in the wall surrounding your house, entering the front yard that came with your house. it was small, but jaehyun noticed it was just enough for the two of you to live in and it seemed cozy.
you closed the door behind you, it automatically locking and you led the way to the front door of the house, unlocking it and kicking off your shoes. jaehyun shuffled nervously a bit, not knowing what he needed to do but toed off his shoes anyway just to be courteous.
“would you like to tuck her in?” you asked him after switching on a light in the room, and jaehyun blinked as his eyes adjusted. “if you don’t want to, that’s okay, i can.” and you reached for yeoreum but jaehyun tightened his hold on the sleeping girl.
“i can do it,” he stressed and you grinned, holding up your hands in surrender.
“okay then, ‘mister jaehyun’,” you joked, motioning for him to follow you down the hall into the room he could only assume was yeoreum’s if the little moon nightlight glowing and the soft peach paint on the wall were anything to go by.
he noticed she didn’t have an overabundance of toys, maybe a handful of plushies on her bed but he realized it was because she had a little table in the corner stacked with coloring books, crayons and markers. he could see her wanting to be an artist when she grew up, she had told him that already. as he was taking in the room, you had already folded back her blankets and you were waiting for him expectantly.
he very gently tucked yeoreum in after taking off her shoes and gave her the plushie he had gifted her and she cuddled into it immediately. it caused his heart to ache looking at her, realizing he had missed so many things. jaehyun followed you out of her room and you closed her door until it was just a crack.
“um…” jaehyun went to ask, not knowing how to really phrase the question he wanted.
“are you thirsty?” you asked him instead as you headed into your kitchen and he hovered in the entrance.
“not really, thank you, but i was wondering, if you’d be okay with it…” he trailed off, and your eyes darted to see him looking somewhat nervous.
“with what?”
“do you… maybe have pictures you could show me? or videos? i just know i’ve missed a lot and if you were okay with it, i’d like to see the moments i wasn’t there for.” your heart softened, as did your smile.
“yeah, i think i can do that for you.”
so jaehyun stayed with you until late that night, sitting at the kitchen table as you showed him pictures and videos of yeoreum. moments like her first steps, and her first words, which you were pouting when you told him wasn’t “mama”, but instead was “no”. he got to experience your laughter as yeoreum had brought a frog inside the house, and her subsequent scream as it jumped out of her hand then chased her. he got to see pictures of her and he felt like he could have been there.
should have been there.
and as he flipped through picture after picture, he noticed that his heart picked up in speed each time he came across a picture of you in it. he watched as you spoke about each picture, the excitement in the nostalgia as you flipped through each one and you explained to him what was going on.
he felt like he was back in your apartment five years ago, he felt at peace with you here.
he missed all of this, and he was going to make sure he wouldn’t miss anything else.
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New Tweet notifications for NCT 127
NCT 127 @NCTsmtown_127 [idols with kids] episode 11 with JOHNNY, JAEHYUN, and MARK
🖍️😺🍑🦁🖍️
#NCT127 #NCT127_IDOLSWITHKIDS #IDOLSWITHKIDS
@lovej43 replied to NCTsmtown_127
i can’t with jaehyun smiling at that little girl like that :(
@127valentines replied to lovej43
right??? she looks a lot like him too, so cute
@markinmiami replied to NCTsmtown_127
mark accidentally breaking his crayon ㅠㅠ the kid gave him a mean look
@bananasoutforjohn replied to NCTsmtown_127
dude looked FLABBERGASTED when the kid started crying
@myloveforjae replied to @127valentines
no ur right tho, she resembles him a lot more than just the dimples 🤨
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you knew that sm would post the video to their youtube channel, but you didn’t realize how anxious reading the comments would make you.
you weren’t aware that the video had posted until jisoo showed you that yeoreum was trending on twitter because of her interactions with jaehyun, and then you went to youtube to read the comments there and every time you read one that mentioned their resemblance it made your stomach flip uncomfortably.
you had a little under a month to prepare for that moment and yet, it still surprised you. you were just pleased that the overall theme for reactions was how cute your daughter was and that made your heart rest just a bit easier.
while reading the comments on your phone, your eyes instantly darted to the text notification that popped up.
3:43 pm he who might be named 😶‍🌫️: did you see they posted the video? everyone is commenting about how cute ‘reum is
3:44 pm you: yeah, and they’re also saying how much you look alike…
3:46 pm he who might be named 😶‍🌫️: well, she’s my daughter so i’d hope so
3:47 pm you: i don’t think you get what i mean
3:48 pm he who might be named 😶‍🌫️: you mean that she also gets her looks from you? i agree
your eyebrows rose at that comment, he had been mildly flirtatious for the past week but now it was becoming blatantly obvious.
3:50 pm you: i mean yes, but that wasn’t what i meant
3:51 pm he who might be named 😶‍🌫️: if it’s not that, then enlighten me
3:52 pm you: aren’t you concerned people will figure it out?
3:54 pm he who might be named 😶‍🌫️: i don’t think they’ll be able to figure it out from just a twenty minute video on youtube
3:55 pm he who might be named 😶‍🌫️: besides, they’d probably doubt it considering how beautiful you are
you simultaneously blushed at his very obvious flirting and sighed at his nonchalance. you were growing accustomed to jaehyun’s presence in your life, and you were finding yourself looking forward to seeing him and spending time with him. it made you feel as if you three were a family but the overwhelming dark cloud of the public finding out loomed over you and shadowed the fluttery feeling you felt in your chest when you talked to him.
you didn’t want to let this get to you but it was turning into somewhat of a fear for you, and it wasn’t really that people would find out.
it was the aftermath; the most negative version being the source of your fear.
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jaehyun stared at his phone waiting for a response from you a bit longer than he should have, but when he felt a shadow hovering to his left he quickly locked his phone. his shoulders instantly relaxed when he saw it was doyoung, but the look on doyoung’s face made jaehyun instantly concerned.
doyoung refused eye contact with him, shifting uncomfortably as he leaned against the mirrored wall of the practice room. everyone else was sat in various spots on around the room and although jaehyun didn’t mind doyoung deciding to spend his break with him, his awkward behavior made jaehyun tense.
“i’ve been putting off talking to you for a week now.” doyoung said to the ground, his arms crossing over his chest.
“what about?”
“i…” doyoung started then stopped, he waited a few seconds then began again. “look, just remember i did it to protect you, you know, just in case.”
he was purposefully being vague and jaehyun pushed off the wall, turning his body to really face doyoung. “what did you do?”
“it’s – i – when y/n came over the first time, even though you were convinced, i wasn’t. so… i had a dna test done.” doyoung’s response made jaehyun’s skin grow hot, he wasn’t why sure anger was the first emotion that bubbled up first but it came on strong enough to surprise even him.
“why would you do that?” he said from between gritted teeth. the idea that yeoreum might not be his never crossed his mind, he had been so sure from the moment he saw you near her.
he just knew.
“you didn’t know, you were just going off of y/n’s word alone. i wanted to give you proof.”
“no, you wanted to rub it in my face that she had lied. you wanted to be right.” jaehyun couldn’t hear how his voice was raising, he could only hear the blood rushing in his ears.
“you would have went your whole life possibly raising someone else’s kid if i hadn’t had the test done!” doyoung was defensive now, and he couldn’t understand why jaehyun would have just blindly believed you like he did.
“i wouldn’t have cared either way!” jaehyun hadn’t realized he had gotten closer to doyoung until a hand came to push against his chest, pulling him back and away from him.
“keep it down unless you want the whole building to know your business,” johnny said lowly to jaehyun, eyes darting to the choreographer across the room, who seemed to be mostly unaware of the situation since he had headphones on.
“he went behind my back and had a dna test done, without asking me first!” jaehyun argued back, angry eyes not leaving the apologetic ones of doyoung.
“if it makes you feel better, she’s yours.” doyoung said, guilt apparent in his face even if he was trying to maintain his stance that he had done nothing wrong.
“i knew that already!” jaehyun actually yelled that time, and he went to take a step forward – to do what he wasn’t sure but johnny’s palm held him firmly in place.
his phone choosing that moment to vibrate, pulling him away from the moment; he had an incoming call from you. he took a moment to shoot doyoung a seething glare, then took a calming breath before turning away to answer.
“hi,” he breathed, his anger slowly dissipating.
“hello,” you replied, but your voice was a bit strained and he picked up on it right away.
“everything okay?” he questioned instantly.
“yeah,” you said and he heard you pull away to speak to someone else before coming back to the phone. “my friend and coworker, jisoo? she was there that day with me, she got injured at work and i’m the only one able to take her to the hospital. will you…” another quick word to someone else. “i need you to be there to pick up yeoreum from school, please.”
jaehyun’s mind was racing thinking of his schedule for the day, he had practice for another few hours, and he told you as such.
“i know you’re busy, but this is something that comes with being a parent. you make adjustments.” you said, and your voice was panicked as you heard someone call for you, and he heard you address the doctor.
“please jae, she has a key on her backpack. you get to pick her up from school and be her dad. this is what you asked for… and what she has always wanted.”
“i’ll be there.” he answered, his mind made up before you even had started to speak. “what time does she get out for school?”
“5, thank you so much, jae. i really appreciate it.” and when someone called your name again you sounded rushed once more. “coming! bye jae, i’ll see you later.”
you hung up the phone, and even though jaehyun was still feeling angry towards doyoung, he couldn’t help the smile that grew on his face at the opportunity you gave him.
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jaehyun was thankful that the lady at the front counter seemed to be too old to stay in tune with media as she didn’t even bat an eyelash when he gave his name to her and told her that he was there to pick up yeoreum. he refrained from saying the term ‘my daughter’ aloud but your rules couldn’t stop him from thinking it.
when the lady called over the system to tell the teacher that it was time for yeoreum to go home, jaehyun leaned casually against the wall while he waited.
he wasn’t thinking about how he had lied to get out of the last few hours of practice. he wasn’t thinking about the argument yet to be resolved with doyoung.
he wasn’t thinking about the other parents coming in and seeing him, recognizing him.
all he could think about how long the minutes seemed too stretch on for yeoreum to be released from her class… and he wouldn’t lie and say he wasn’t also thinking about you. specifically, the last time he saw you, which was three days before.
you had invited him over on sunday night, stating that yeoreum had asked about him and if she could one day make cookies for mister jaehyun. you had told him it was so out of the blue for her to ask that and when you had questioned her on it, her simple response was ‘if cookies makes santa come, maybe it will work for mister jaehyun too’.
you didn’t have the heart to tell her no, which led to the phone call. jaehyun was there in twenty minutes, knocking on the door to which you answered with flour splattered across your face, with a giggling four-year-old right behind you sporting flour in her hair. jaehyun’s grin was painful for his cheeks as he took in the scene, and he couldn’t help but laugh with you both before even saying hello.
“are you supposed to be wearing the ingredients?” jaehyun asked as he stepped inside your house, following you both as you made your way into the kitchen.
“mommy started it!” and you feigned a gasp, a floured hand on your chest.
“i did not!” and she giggled once more, waving her tiny hands for jaehyun to bend down so she could whisper in his ear. jaehyun’s dimples were deep as he listened to her and your thoughts straying to how handsome he was running through your mind before you even registered. jaehyun turned his head to nod excitedly with yeoreum and you narrowed your eyes at them both.
“you better have told him how you threw first,” you warned playfully.
“oh she did,” jaehyun agreed, moving slightly to the left and it didn’t click that he was suspiciously close to the bag of flour. “she also said we should be on a team.”
“wha – oh don’t you dare!” but it was too late, as jaehyun had already pinched some flour and flicked it at you, and as you stood there with a shocked look on your face and flour now decorating your hair, jaehyun and yeoreum shared a giggly high five. you crossed your arms childishly and stomped your foot, turning away from them both dramatically, taking a page directly out of your daughter’s book.
“oh no, ‘reum… we’ve made your mommy upset.” jaehyun theatrically whispered and you had to bite back a laugh.
“i know what will cheer her up!” yeoreum whispered back, and they were both suspiciously silent and then you heard feet shuffling behind you; yeoreum popping up in front of you suddenly, and then there were not one, but two sets of arms wrapping around you in a tight squeeze, yeoreum’s head resting on your stomach and you froze at the feeling of jaehyun’s cheek resting on top of your head.
you felt the heat rise up your neck and the butterflies were back; you couldn’t tell if this was part of the joke or if he meant the hug the way it felt to you but you quickly pushed that train of thought to the side, giving yourself two more seconds in the embrace of them both before you broke the moment by clearing your throat.
“so, did we still want to make mister jaehyun cookies?” yeoreum blinked up at you cutely and nodded her head, you ran your hand through her hair gently, still very aware of jaehyun at your back and you tried to ignore it but failed.
jaehyun noticed it took only five minutes of trying to cook for yeoreum to get bored and ask if she can go color instead, so it left only you and him in the kitchen, and the first few minutes were spent trying to fill the awkward silence with comments and small laughter.
you had just started to mix up the ingredients when you heard him move, his feet shuffling just a bit.
jaehyun leaned a little closer into your space, feeling his body heat on your back; his hand braced against the counter to the left of your hip and you weren’t sure if your heart raced or slowed, but all you knew was that you were hyper aware of his presence as you were minutes before when he had hugged you.
“do you need help with that?” he asked lowly, his voice near your ear and you could almost feel his breath on your cheek. you turned your head and he was as close to you as you had thought he was, and it made you take a slight step away. you knew he could see the rising blush on your cheeks and a smirk made its way to his lips.
“no, i got it,” you said, but then realized that his close proximity allowed you to get a little revenge. “i am capable, thank you very much.” it was your turn to flick flour at his face, and he only blinked at you in shock, his expression comical and you wished you could take a picture of it.
a small gasp at the entrance of the kitchen made you jump away from each other as if you had been caught doing something wrong, and you both had quickly fumbled with an excuse, neither of which had made any sense but you had seemingly gotten away with it.
the memory brought a smile to his face and that look was the first thing yeoreum saw as she walked through the door to see him waiting for her.
“mister jaehyun!” she exclaimed, running up to him and hugging him around his legs and god, he loved this little girl. when she let go, he bent down and went in for a proper hug, picking her up in the process and they left the building.
yeoreum spoke to him animatedly, telling him about her favorite part of her day and then she asked him about his favorite part, his answer being an immediate, “getting to see you, of course.” which only made her beam at him in a childlike sense of pride.
“what about mommy?” she asked innocently, and he blinked.
“well, of course you and her both are my favorite part.” yeoreum’s loud giggle made him smile but she shook her head.
“no, i mean where’s mommy?” and it dawned on him that he had told on himself to a very observant child.
“oh, she had to take her friend to the doctor. she isn’t your teacher, too?” jaehyun asked, playing it off in a way he thought was smooth enough. the question sparking another conversation about how she gets to change classrooms like she’s in real school but not a whole lot just sometimes and it’s definitely really fun, and jaehyun could only nod as she chattered away, finally arriving at the front gate to your home and yeoreum wiggled her way out of his arms so she could get her key.
“i wanna do it, mommy lets me!” and jaehyun nodded as he let her lead the way, really just letting himself enjoy being a parent solo, and after hours of dinner, bath, and then bed, he realized it was fairly exhausting and he told himself to remind you when you got home how impressive he thought you were.
jaehyun sat on the edge of her bed, she had requested him to tuck her in and he had but then she had started crying and he was on the verge of panicking.
“’reum, what’s the matter baby?” he said, taking a tip he got from you and running his hand through her hair to try and soothe her, she wasn’t hysterical but she clutched the plushie that he had gotten her tightly, big tears rolling down her cheeks as her bottom lip quivered.
“mommy always sings me a song and kisses me goodnight every night… when is she coming home?” she sniffed, and jaehyun’s eyebrows furrowed in concern. the last text update he had gotten was an hour ago when you had said that jisoo was going back for x-rays and that it shouldn’t be too much longer.
“she’ll be here soon but i can do that, too.” he offered her gently and her eyes looked a little less sad at his offer. “what song does she sing?”
“i don’t know the name,” her lip wobbled again and fresh tears sprung in her eyes.
“that’s okay,” he assured her soothingly, “can you hum it for me?”
yeoreum sniffed twice before humming the tune of a song jaehyun knew well, and it made a small smile tug at the corner of his mouth. as she hummed, he did the same right along with her until he started to sing softly to her, his hand continuing the motions from before, gently moving through her hair.
“so whenever you ask me again, how i feel… please remember…” and yeoreum wasn’t humming anymore, her small voice drifting away as she watched jaehyun, completely entranced by his voice, her young mind in awe at how he knew the song her mommy would sing to her.
“my answer if you,” jaehyun continued to sing, his finger tapping on her nose gently which finally earned him a small laugh. a sound he missed, and while he was glad to be present for even the times she was upset, he preferred her happy and smiling.
yeoreum didn’t say anything for a long second, and then in a small and unsure voice asked, “mister jaehyun?”
“yes, miss yeoreum?”
“if… if my daddy doesn’t ever come back from his business trips, if he’s still too busy for me…” jaehyun’s heart broke at the mention of that, his smile slowly disappearing from his face. “do you think you could be my daddy instead?”
“oh yeoreum…” he started and he saw a bit of panic welling up in her eyes, and she scrambled to sit up.
“i’m really good, i promise! mommy says so and santa does too, i get presents every year.” she pleaded, her eyebrows so furrowed they were nearly touching, and jaehyun’s eyes softened.
“yeoreum, sweetheart. i am y-.”
“”’reum, i’m home.” jaehyun nearly jumped at the sound of your voice, his head whipping around to find you staring at him in the doorway. he couldn’t quite place the emotion there; it wasn’t necessarily anger but you didn’t seem happy in the slightest.
“mommy!” yeoreum called, her tears forgotten at the sight of you in her room. you walked over to kneel at the edge of her bed, motioning for her to lay down again and pulling the blankets up to her chin.
“did you have fun with mister jaehyun?” you asked her, brushing her hair back away from her face. you heard everything said, and the feeling that you were letting her down sat heavy on your chest.
“i did, we had lots of fun,” she replied, finally letting out a long overdue yawn – the worry of you not being home the main thing that kept her awake.
“tell him goodnight, okay?”
“goodnight, mister jaehyun.” she murmured sleepily and you stood up then, motioning for jaehyun to follow you as you closed her door behind you. you moved away from the door, heading into the kitchen and jaehyun couldn’t help the feeling that he was in trouble somehow.
“i thought we had a deal,” you finally said, turning to face him as you leaned against the kitchen counter.
“what?” jaehyun was a little confused, he was trying to figure out where this conversation was going before it even started.
“the statute of limitations weren’t up yet, i still don’t want you to tell her you’re her father.” your voice was stiff, and you didn’t make eye contact with him as you spoke.
“i wasn’t going to…”
“i heard everything, jae. she already loves you so much, and if you decide to walk out it’s going to wreck her and i’ll be left to try and fix what you broke.”
jaehyun wasn’t sure why, but he felt the telltale sign of his anger rising. he felt it on the back of his neck, and the way his teeth ground together.
“i thought i made myself clear that i wasn’t going anywhere.” his voice wasn’t curt, but you still heard the tone.
“you did, but that’s when things are relatively easy. who’s to say-?” and he cut you off.
“say about what? what could anyone possibly say to make me leave?”
“me, when i say i think it’s best you kept your distance for a little while. you’ve made things complicated for me.” and to say jaehyun was shocked speechless would be an understatement.
“how?” was his only response, he was biting on the inside of his cheek to keep from getting really upset.
“we were fine,” you started, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “we were fine on our own, and then you waltzed in our lives and shook everything up and now i don’t know which way is up and which way is down. i think you’re confusing yeoreum… and me and… and i don’t know how to feel about any of this.”
“this was fate and you know it.” and your answering scoff only spurned him on. “i don’t believe in coincidences and neither did you last i checked. you moved here so she could learn about her heritage, and of the millions of people in korea you still manage to run into me, she still found me.”
“yes… well we had our life just fine on our own – just me and yeoreum. what right-.”
“i’m her father!” his voice raised just enough to make you finally look at him, to see the hurt in his eyes as he spoke. “that’s what right. you’ve given me this… this incredible gift, something i didn’t even know i needed until a month ago and i refuse to let you take it away from me. i thought you and i were getting closer, but if you want to continue to hate me that’s fine, but i want to be in my daughter’s life and you can’t keep me from doing that.”
his eyes were glassy, as if he was keeping himself from crying over the situation as a whole and his breathing was heavy. you broke the eye contact you held with him, instead focusing on the rise and fall of his chest.
his response was answer enough for you.
answer for this entire thing you had been fighting off for the past month while you got to know each other again, while you got to spend time together as a family. you saw yeoreum smiling and laughing, jaehyun usually the cause of it. their dimples coming out in the exact same manner, and it was like within the month you felt your heart warm up in a way it hadn’t in years at the idea of it, the idea of him.
you realized you were happier around him too, and although you really were trying to protect yeoreum, you realized in that moment that you were also trying to protect yourself.
and that wasn’t fair to yeoreum, jaehyun… or you.
“i don’t.” you said softly, finally giving him a response he found cryptic.
“what?”
“i don’t hate you.” you clarified for him and he inhaled deeply.
“then why are you acting as if i’m an asshole when i’ve done nothing but try and prove to you that i’m not… that i care about you both.” his hands were thrown out at his sides in exasperation, finally realizing that it wasn’t anger he was feeling but fear.
“because it won’t just be her heart you’ll break if you decide to leave.” you gnawed at your lip, unsure of how he was going to respond to this.
“what do you…” he asked and his voice was softer now, taking a small step towards you.
“you’ll be breaking mine, too.” you said, and you finally made eye contact with him again and he could see it there.
the fear.
of rejection, of being hurt, of being left alone after becoming so quickly used to having another person be there with you. he understood then.
he closed the gap in a few steps, and he stood in front of you, his hands hesitating before he allowed them to rest on your arms.
“i know… i know this hasn’t been easy for you. that you’ve had terrible things said to you because i wasn’t there, and i can’t guarantee that when people find out, more things won’t be said. but the difference is that i’m here now. i’m here and i’m not going anywhere, and…” he trailed off for a moment, eyes searching yours before he finally continued. “i know there were no expectations five years ago, but i have them now. i know you feel this too, i know you do. and if i have to convince you every day that i’m not going anywhere, then i will.”
you didn’t realize you had started to cry until your tears started to burn your eyes and you wiped them away with a watery laugh.
“oh come on, i can’t have both my girls crying in one night.” and jaehyun swore his heart stopped when you looked up at him like that.
“then don’t say sweet things to make me cry.” you said, tone a little pouty.
“well if that’s what it takes,” jaehyun shrugged easily.
“yeah but,” your sentence was then interrupted by jaehyun’s phone vibrating incessantly in his pocket. he dug it out, ready to ignore the phone call but the name that popped up made him hit accept instead. you didn’t hear any of the other side of the conversation, only jaehyun’s.
“oh, really?” followed by a, “yes, that’s true.” and then, “not to be disrespectful, but i don’t care.” his eyes then jumping back to yours when he said, “then we’ll figure it out, this is more important to me.” before saying, “okay, i’ll see you tomorrow.” and finally hung up.
“what was that about?” you asked tilting your head to the side, your curiosity getting the better of you.
“that… was everyone finding out.” he said easily and your eyebrows shot up over widened eyes, “and as you heard me say – i don’t care. we’ll figure it out one way or another, all i know is that you, yeoreum… this family is far more impor – mmph!” and you didn’t give him the chance to finish his sentence because you threw your arms around his neck and kissed him.
the action familiar to you, recalling the way jaehyun had done the same all those years ago. jaehyun wasn’t one to miss an opportunity and so he kissed you back, his arms wrapping around you tightly and pulling you closer to him. the moment was one he had been wanting for weeks now, ever since he sat with you at the table and you showed him all the pictures.
and he didn’t waste a second, kissing you until you were both breathless and you finally pulled away.
“i’m sorry, i just…” you trailed off, finally seeing that happiness in his eyes again.
“don’t be, because i’m about to do it again.” he said with a smirk before closing the distance once more, this kiss much sweeter than the first. his palm flat against the small of your back, his other hand resting on your hip and everything about that moment with him felt right.
his lips, his warmth, his smile that you felt against your lips that fully interrupted the kiss.
“what is it?” you huffed playfully, and his smile turned into a small laugh.
“i just remembered something.” he said, his dimples appearing then.
“and that is…?”
“try again, huh?” he joked before planting a quick kiss to your lips, muffling your groan.
“it was the only thing that would stop her from crying as a baby.” you defended weakly.
“that’s my girl.” he said, nothing but pride in his voice, and you smacked him gently on the chest.
“our girl.” you corrected him easily, and the smile that lit up his face was breathtaking.
“our girl.”
.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.
[b side: epilogue]
a year or so later…
a family outing is what jaehyun had called it when he woke up one morning asking if you wanted to go to the gardens that had a christmas lights display and you didn’t even get the chance to decide because yeoreum overheard as she stood at your doorway and was immediately excited.
“that settles that then,” you teased.
“as if you ever had a choice,” he said to you with a wink, calling a good morning to the sleepy girl who jumped into bed and cuddled with you both.
your little family had a lazy day in bed before you all finally rolled out of it to get ready for the lights, making sure that yeoreum – who was adamant that she didn’t need help picking out clothes anymore – bundled herself up in her puffy jacket, you pocketing her gloves that she had forgotten. jaehyun purposefully matched jackets with her, and you sighed knowing you had to do the same.
“we look like a little marshmallow family,” you commented as you walked through the gardens, the lights reflecting off of your face.
“yes but a cute one,” jaehyun retorted, teasing being his way of flirting and something you noticed never slacked off even after you had officially started dating him.
you hadn’t realized you had walked ahead of them and then you noticed neither of them were right behind you, you turned around to see jaehyun smiling brightly as he kneeled to whisper suspiciously to yeoreum, something that had been their thing ever since the beginning.
“really?!” yeoreum gasped aloud, eyes pleading with him to not be joking. you narrowed your eyes at them, desperately hoping jaehyun wasn’t telling her they would get the hamster she had been begging for. when jaehyun nodded in answer to her question, her entire body radiated with excitement and then his eyes pointedly looked from her to you a few times and yeoreum giggled.
she turned on her heel and skipped over to you, motioning for you to bend down so she could whisper in your ear – letting you in on the secret. as she whispered, your eyes widened slightly, and they softened as they easily found his.
you could feel yours slowly starting to tear up and you held them at bay for as long as you could. instead of saying anything aloud, you kept with the spirit of their game, their thing they shared, you whispered to yeoreum. you figured she’d skip back over to jaehyun to give him your response but instead she jumped up and down, turning to face jaehyun.
“she said yes!” she exclaimed loudly with her hands cupping around her mouth, squealing with enthusiasm. looking at jaehyun’s soft smile, eyes full of love for you and for the little girl you shared, the answer was obvious.
as if you could have possibly said no.
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deathsmallcaps · 2 years
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Complaints below
Being lonely romantically sucks. At least when your horny doesn’t take a lot of time or connection to solve
#I just want somebody to love#I should probably go to bed#sorry I’ve been watching Jeanine and Gregory from Abbot Elementary#I ship them so hard#also I’ve been watching a lot of other romantic stuff lately Sue me#my heart aches and it’s very annoying because my knee and back ache too#there’s a guy who’s been interested in me#and he’s sweet but high maintenance and also aro#he’s been very honest about that and I appreciate it. he just wants sex#I’m not entirely inclined to say no#but I really want to fall in love#I don’t think I ever have but I also don’t think I’m aro#if I turn out to be that’s fine but I really haven’t allowed myself to be vulnerable enough to find out#I’ve kind of resigned myself to just waiting until I get a job lolol#I’ve always been attracted to teachers and despite being an adult I don’t think that’s changed#it’s probably something to do with being good with kids being knowledgeable and being leaders#I’m not really connected w anyone in my major either which is silly#I mean Covid didn’t help but still#and all the good people I’ve noticed outside of my major are taken and happy#and I’m no bitch#tbh if I had a dog right now I think 80% of my feelings would be cleared up#because I’d have someone enthusiastic to see me and to cuddle with me#finances/personal care/cat disallow that however#but I don’t think a -friend would help with my grades either XD#I wish I had the courage and/or stupidity to try a one-night stand#but I’m afraid of strangers and STIs#and I hate altered states so I can’t even do liquid courage lmao#god I’m difficult.#where is the sensible person from my fantasies who wants to curl up with me#hell I’ll be the big spoon.
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celesteleoves · 2 months
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“BUT IM IN SO DEEP, YOU KNOW IM SUCH A FOOL FOR YOU.”
choso kamo x reader.
warnings: very fluffy, implied height difference between reader and choso (he’s taller), KIND OF A DIFFERENT REALITY where everyone’s alive and well.
summary: in which, choso doesn’t like listening to those who aren’t close to him but he’d do a lot for you!
——————
choso was new to the whole “being a human” thing. he didn’t quite understand how humans interacted fully, especially around those they were interested in.
yuji has helped him get a better understanding of human interactions, telling him modern day, how to start a conversation and how to keep it going, and lastly, in yujis words the most important part, how to treat a woman you are attracted to. choso is very thankful for his brother and he knows his other brothers would’ve helped him the same way if they could.
so, small interactions between himself and those around him are very important to him. he’s also starting to realize how important you are to him aswell.
“hey, choso, can you give me that chocolate bar?” nobara yelled from her spot on the couch. yuji had invited a few of his close friends over, not realizing choso was going to be home (which meant he had to invite his teachers, he knows choso would be happy you were here though).
“i’m doing laundry for my brother, maybe megumi can grab it for you.” choso avoided her question, not really enjoying the fact she was so comfortable with ordering him around. megumi immediately held his hand up to shut up nobara as she went to ask him.
choso was not doing laundry, he was sitting on a couch with you sitting beside him, part of the reason why he didn’t want to get up and do anything for anyone. he’d rather be close to you than not.
“kamo! my favourite little man, can you lend me your time and grab those chocolate bars.”
choso’s eyes twitched at gojo’s words and his use of his last name as he let out a annoyed sigh, scrolling on the phone yuji had given him. he ignored the older man’s words and continued scrolling through instagram.
“hi.” you whispered to the man beside you, ignoring those around you as they talked loudly.
“hello.” choso’s voice was soft as he scanned your face, taking in how perfect you looked today.
“i don’t want to be a bother but can you maybe, please, help me grab some snacks for everyone in the kitchen?” you smiled softly at the man beside you, his attention directed to you immediately.
“of course.” choso spoke as he stood up surprisingly quick to help you, despite the fact he had brushed off many of those around him when they had asked him to do something.
you both began to walk to the kitchen, ignoring everyone’s banter.
“sorry, i just couldn’t figure out how to get to this thing.” you pointed towards a cabinet that had chips in it. it was too high for you to reach.
“no need to apologize. i’d do anything for you.” choso’s words came out on instinct. it took him a minute to realize how crazy he sounded after saying something like that to you.
his back was turned to you as he reached for the cabinet with shaky hands, obviously thinking about what he had just let slip out.
he failed to see how flushed you had become, a nervous laugh escaping your throat at his words.
you’d do the same for him, if you were able to reach the cabinet.
“oh! haha.” you said, stammering for words as choso turned to look at you with embarrassment evident on his face.
“i’m sorry, yuji told me i can’t just say words out loud like that.”
he began rambling, apologizing and trying to justify what he meant. you felt the same way, guess this is the right time to tell him.
“choso, i would do the same for you.”
“you would?” choso blinked at you with wide eyes as his head was tilted slightly in confusion, you almost cooed at the sight. he was so cute.
you moved closer towards him, looking around to make sure nobody was near the kitchen, thankfully you could hear everyone chattering in the living room still.
“yeah. of course.” you whispered, being so close to him you felt you didn’t need to talk loudly. he would listen to you no matter how loud or quiet you talked.
“your lips are pretty.”
your eyes widened at his words, now becoming flustered as his eyes flicked between your lips and your eyes.
choso was so nervous, he was just saying anything that came to mind!
you stared at him for a moment, debating on what to do.
you only had one thought on your mind, yet you didn’t want to let your nervousness stop you from doing it. the two of you being so close to each other made you sweat.
you have found choso endearing for a while but you were too afraid to voice your feelings as he seemed very closed off. one thing you learned about him, was he hated others giving him options or orders.
“can i kiss you?”
choso hated being given options or orders (see what i did there), he enjoyed the sound of this one though.
he stumbled over his words, choosing to just nod his head instead.
you leaned in, your eyes fluttering shut as you kissed him.
choso was in awe as he kept his eyes open for a second, closing them after feeling the touch of your lips against his.
his had made its way to your waist, while the other held your face.
the kiss felt so perfect to choso that he almost failed to remember you both had to breathe.
you pulled away with a pant as you looked at the flustered man infront of you.
his eyes were lidded as he panted, a small smile on his face as he looked at you.
you grinned, feeling like a school girl with a crush.
“yuji told me that normally kissing means you take interest in the person… is that true?” choso shyly asked and you couldn’t help but laugh as you grabbed the chips beside him.
“yes, it’s true, i’m very interested in you cho’. let’s get these snacks back out there, yeah?” you smiled happily at him and choso almost felt his heart stop.
“yeah.”
this interaction had certainly taught choso a few things.
he would do anything you asked him to do, he’s interested in you, and you’re interested in him too!
————
a/n: ahhh this is so bad. anyways, i’ve never written anything for choso so this was a first! it was kind of cringey but let’s also keep in mind choso doesn’t get a lot of action like this before becoming “human” 😭
leave requests please or recommendations!
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honeypiehotchner · 1 year
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gold star (Hotch x Teacher!Reader) -- one shot
Been working on this one for a hot minute oops. Just wanted to say thank y’all for being patient with me always (and we literally hit 5.7k followers even while I’ve been so inactive???? what????). Here’s a longgg dose of fluffy angst <33
Edit: I’m a dumbass and queued this for the wrong day
Summary: You’re Jack’s teacher and Aaron is basically your nemesis. Until he’s not. (Kinda enemies to lovers?)
Warnings: angst! talks of parent death, therapy, bad parenting/emotional neglect, y’know the works. Lots of fluff tho to make up for it. And a happy ending!
WC: ...5.7k-ish
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I love my job. I love my job. If you say it enough, you’ll believe it. I love my job. You glance at the clock and see your next parent is late. I love my job.
You do love your job, you really do. What you hate are parent-teacher conferences that you’re required to do. Especially when the parent is late. After having to reschedule at the last minute. Twice.
If you didn’t have a genuine concern to discuss with Jack’s father, then you wouldn’t be here still. But alas, you care for Jack more than your annoyance at his father.
Jack Hotchner is a sweet kid. Genuinely wonderful. After his mom’s sudden death a few years ago, everyone worried about him. You’re friends with Julia, who was his kindergarten teacher just a few months after it occurred. Despite being a teacher for almost a decade that year, Julia had never encountered this situation, so she looked to you for help. You lost your mom when you were in first grade, so you were able to give her more helpful tips that actually work.
Now, you have the pleasure of having Jack in your second grade classroom and he truly is an amazing student. You only wish you could share this information with his father who seems to be on another plane of existence every goddamn--
A knock on your classroom door frame makes you jump.
“I’m sorry,” Aaron Hotchner rushes out, quickly dropping his hand. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“It’s fine, Mr. Hotchner,” you say, standing up from your desk chair, putting on a smile. “Come on in.”
“Thanks, and please, it’s Aaron,” he smiles sheepishly, walking over. He towers over the tiny desks as he maneuvers past them to yours. He sticks out his hand for you to shake. He has a firm grip, but his hands are soft. “I’m sorry I’m so late. I got caught up at work--”
“I figured,” you reply, sitting back down. You pull up your laptop and begin typing in your password. “Unfortunately, I’ll have to make this quick. I should’ve left an hour ago.”
“Oh, sorry, am I that late?” he flicks his arm to look at his watch. He sighs. “I apologize.”
You hum. “Our conference was scheduled for 4:15.” You glance down at the clock on your screen. “It’s almost six.”
“I’m so sorry,” he says again. “Would it be better to reschedule?”
“Nope,” you shake your head. “You’re already here.” And if you reschedule, then this might happen again, so you’d rather do this now while you’ve got him here. “Fortunately, Jack is doing really well. He’s struggling a little with math, but he’s not the only one, and we’re working on it. He’s made a few friends, I know we discussed that last time. He’s breaking out of his shell, I think.”
“That’s good,” Aaron says, smiling a little. “That’s really good to hear.”
“Is he doing any extracurriculars?” you ask. Last time, when you voiced your concerns to Aaron about his son being a little too quiet and shy, you suggested asking if he’d like to do a sport, or play an instrument.
“He’s doing soccer,” Aaron says.
Your eyes widen. “Oh!”
“You look surprised,” he presses.
“I guess I didn’t expect Jack to…want to do a sport,” you shrug, checking your notes for the conference to stall.
What you really wanted to say is that you didn’t expect Aaron to listen to you. Given his track record, it seemed highly unlikely that he’d follow through and actually ask his son about trying a sport, let alone go through with signing him up for one.
“Do you have any questions for me?” you ask, closing your laptop lid. Aaron has been studying your face in this lull of silence, and it’s unnerving.
“I don’t think so,” he finally says.
“Okay,” you nod, not surprised. “I did have one more thing. I know I said Jack is breaking out of his shell, and he is, but he seems…down. Is something going on at home?”
Aaron sighs. “It’s getting closer to the anniversary of his mom’s death.”
That tugs on your heart. “Oh, I see. Alright.” You pause. “Uh-- If you don’t mind me asking, is he seeing a counselor or a therapist or anything?”
“He’s not, not currently,” Aaron says.
You blink. You shouldn’t really be surprised, but you are. “Has he at all since his mom’s death?”
“Briefly, right after she died.”
“Okay.” You clear your throat. You cannot yell at a parent. That’s unprofessional. “I know it’s not my place, but I’d highly suggest finding him someone. Especially right now as the anniversary is getting closer, and as Jack gets older. I would suggest our school counselor, but I think Jack would do better with someone better equipped for his situation.”
Aaron stares at you, nodding slowly. “Alright.”
You lean over and open a drawer, grabbing the handout specifically for times like these. Given the area the school is in, parents are typically able to pay for services like these, and are more willing. You know it’s because they don’t have the time to deal with their children’s emotions, so they pawn them off on someone else, and claim it as a good deed.
In a way, you’re grateful the children are able to receive help that you didn’t because your dad couldn’t afford it. You just wish the kids also received support from their family, not just from doctors.
“Here’s a list of great pediatric psychiatrists and therapists in the area.” You hand Aaron the packet and he takes it gently, his expression unreadable. Parents are always so weirdly defensive about this. “Many of our students see someone from that list, so I trust that one will be a good fit for Jack. If you want some help narrowing it down, I can help.”
“Thank you,” he says quietly. “I’ll look into this.”
I hope so, you want to say, but he doesn’t sound too sincere. “Okay,” you smile softly instead. “That’s all I have, unless you have any other questions?”
He shakes his head. “No, I think-- I think this is good.”
“Alright, well,” you pause, opening Jack’s folder. “I just need you to sign here, so the school knows we met.” You slide the form and a pen across the table.
Aaron signs swiftly, a signature born from frequent piles of paperwork. You know he does something in the government, you’re just not sure what. Nearly every parent here works in the government, though, so that’s not a remarkable conclusion to have made.
“Thank you,” you say, taking the signed form and sliding it back into Jack’s folder. “I hope you have a good rest of your day.”
“You too,” Aaron says, standing up to shake your hand again. He’s so formal, you almost forget. He clutches the packet in his free hand, and you wonder if it’ll end up in the recycling bin at the end of the hall.
After shaking your hand, Aaron apologizes again for his tardiness, and then leaves your classroom. The clock on the wall says it’s just past six. A record for one of the latest nights you’ve been here.
Gathering your things, you do some last minute checks around the classroom before heading out, locking the door behind you.
As you reach the exit doors at the end of the hall, you peer into the trash and recycling bins. Both are empty, no signs of your pediatric psychiatrists packet.
At least that’s a win.
+++
A month or so later, you’re waking up early to go to a soccer game. If it weren’t for your kids asking you (loudly and enthusiastically) to come to their game, then you wouldn’t be awake right now on a Saturday.
Julia, at least, is coming with you, and so is Kate, a fellow second grade teacher whose classroom is across from yours. Julia is coming to see Jack, and Kate also has a few students who asked her to come.
The three of you stop for coffee before going to the park where the soccer games are held. Walking across the field, you find an empty space on the bleachers and sit down, looking around for your kiddos.
To your complete and utter surprise, you spot Aaron Hotchner -- of all parents.
You quickly avert your eyes, looking around some more. You haven’t seen or spoken to Aaron since the parent-teacher conference as Jack is usually picked up and dropped off by his Aunt Jessica. Jack has seemed a little more present and happy, but you have no idea if that means that Aaron actually sought help for his son.
Even more embarrassing, you’ve worried about your job since that conference. It’s always a gamble, offering parents advice. You never know what will cross a line and equal an angry phone call to the principal followed by a swift withdrawal of their child from your class. Not every parent has always been so keen on your attention to your students’ emotional wellbeing.
“Don’t look, but one of the dads cannot keep his eyes off of you,” Julia whispers.
“Which one?” Kate asks, then she spots him. “Oh, him-- He’s tall. Wait, is he…?”
You glance over and sure enough, the one in question is Aaron. He can’t tell that you’ve looked at him, though, thanks to your sunglasses. “That’s Jack’s dad,” you say, looking away again.
“I knew he looked familiar,” Julia murmurs. “I’m not used to him out of the suit. His hair is longer too, isn’t it?”
“Why would I know?” you counter, taking a sip of your coffee.
“Is he the one you mouthed off to?” Kate asks, nudging your arm.
You scoff defensively, “I didn’t mouth off--”
“She told him to put his son in therapy,” Julia explains with a prideful smirk. “Rightfully so, too. I would’ve done the same if I ever saw him.”
“Damn,” Kate chuckles. “Let’s hope that he took your advice.”
“And that he isn’t pissed at me for it,” you mutter. “I haven’t heard anything since.”
Kate and Julia share a look before Julia says, “He’s definitely not mad.”
Finally, you give yourself the chance to look over at him, and to let him see you looking.
You’ll admit, it is weird seeing him out of the suit, let alone in short sleeves. You’ve never seen his arms. They’re…nice. Muscular, more than you expected. Not that you’ve wondered about his arms, though. Or any part of him. Because he’s Jack’s dad, so you should not be thinking about him this way.
Still, you indulge, just for this moment. He keeps your eyes only for a minute before his attention is drawn elsewhere to the screaming kids practicing their warmups (if that’s what those can be called). He’s smiling from ear to ear, something you’ve never seen. The tiny smiles you managed out of him during conferences hardly ever looked genuine. This, though, this one is.
“You should talk to him,” Julia whispers, nearly scaring you shitless. You completely forgot where you were for a minute.
“No,” you shake your head, tearing your eyes away. “That’s practically asking for him to yell at me.”
“He won’t do that,” Julia chides.
“Well, I don’t know,” Kate grimaces. “Parents are finicky. I got yelled at last year by one who I thought was the sweetest ever. Until her kid didn’t pass a science test.”
“See?” you say, gesturing to Kate. “We have no idea what he’ll be like.”
“Besides that he’s looking at you again,” Julia says. “So he’s clearly interested in talking to you.”
“Then he can walk over here himself.”
Julia raises her eyebrows, shrugging. “Be careful what you wish for.”
You roll your eyes. Aaron is too busy with the kids and their game is about to start, so there’s no way he’ll walk over. Even if you speak after, Jack will be with him, so nothing will be said. It’s fine.
+++
Aaron’s mouth is dry. He feels like he forgot how to breathe properly.
He didn’t know you’d be here, and here you are. Beautiful. Except he shouldn’t think that, because you’re his son’s teacher. It’s inappropriate. But the way the sun hits your skin…beautiful. You’re beautiful.
He needs to focus. He’s supposed to be coaching the kids, not gawking at a teacher like some idiot.
To make matters worse, Rossi notices, and only silently raises his eyebrows.
Aaron told Rossi about your parent-teacher conference, and how he should’ve put Jack in therapy sooner -- along with himself. Rossi asked him if he thanked you for your advice, but Aaron never found the right time. He half-heartedly thanked you at the conference, but it wasn’t as genuine as it should’ve been.
He meant to call you, or send an email, but he never did. Truthfully, he’s been terrified. He feels incredibly stupid to have not gotten Jack help sooner, and even more stupid that he finds you as attractive as he does. Can he be any worse of a person, seriously?
And now, you’re here. At Jack’s soccer game. Which, he guesses he should’ve realized sooner that a lot of Jack’s classmates are on this team, too. And others from different classes, but still in his grade. It was only a matter of time before one of the kids asked a teacher to come. It would only take one, and clearly it did, and he’s unprepared.
Wildly unprepared. And wishing he put on a better shirt.
+++
The soccer game is a disaster, but a wonderful one.
The kids are too young for points to be counted, so it’s just a game of fun chaos. Teams are blurred and never really followed. But they looked like they had a blast out there, so that’s all that mattered.
You, Julia, and Kate split up to see your kids and give out as many high-fives as you possibly can. You listen to their rambles and congratulate them on playing so well. The parents stand by with smiles, occasionally one piping up to thank you for coming.
Aaron is there, too, surprisingly. He’s still smiling bigger than ever.
There’s a man with him, too, who Jack calls Uncle Dave. Jack has mentioned him in class before, and he’s actually Aaron’s coworker. He’s smiling, too, just not as wide, and he keeps glancing between you and Aaron.
Just when you think you’re in the clear, Aaron tells Jack to go with Uncle Dave because he needs to talk to you about something.
You catch Julia and Kate’s eyes when Aaron is left alone with you, and your stomach turns. He doesn’t look angry, but then again, the parents never look angry at first.
“I just wanted to thank you,” Aaron begins, turning so the sun isn’t in his eyes as much. He’s still squinting, and it’s adorable. You wonder why he didn’t wear sunglasses. “I picked a therapist from the list you gave me for Jack, and it’s really been helping him. A lot, so, I just wanted to thank you for giving that to me.”
You blink, stunned. “You’re welcome,” you say slowly before you gain your composure. “I’m very glad that it’s been helping. And to see him playing soccer,” you gesture to the field with a smile. “He seems to really enjoy it.”
“Oh, he does,” Aaron chuckles. “He can’t get enough of it. He talks about it all the time.”
All the time. So maybe he’s spending more time with Jack, then. “Good, I’m really glad to hear that.”
You pause, waiting for him to say something else. The awkward silence lingers for a little too long, and you know what’s coming next.
“I was wondering,” he starts, and lowers his voice a little. “I was wondering if you’d like to get dinner sometime.”
As much as you’d love to say yes, you can’t let yourself. “I’m sorry, Mr. Hotchner, that would just be inappropriate.”
“No, no, not as a date,” he backtracks, confusing you. “Just to thank you for-- For helping me get Jack in to see a therapist.”
You raise an eyebrow. “To thank me…for telling you what you should’ve done in the first place?”
He sputters for a moment, clearly losing his bearings. “No, I mean--”
“Listen, Mr. Hotchner,” you smile sweetly, trying to contain yourself. “What would you like? A gold star? For getting your son a therapist after he went through an incredibly traumatic event?”
He doesn’t say anything, and somehow that makes your anger and annoyance worse.
“Listen. The fact of the matter is that you should’ve kept your son in therapy since he lost his mother. And continue to keep him in therapy until he’s old enough to decide if he wants to continue seeing one or not. Because when my mom died, I didn’t get to have a therapist. We couldn’t afford it, and my dad was too out of his mind to even care. It nearly killed me, and my siblings. So don’t tell me that you want to thank me for something that I never should’ve had to do in the first place. You should’ve paid more attention to your son’s needs. Especially since you can afford services to genuinely help him.”
Your voice stayed quiet, thankfully, because you didn’t need everyone to hear you mouthing off to Aaron once again. You realize only halfway through that maybe you shouldn’t be saying these things in a setting such as this, but you’re too into it to stop.
Julia and Kate heard all of it, though. You can see their jaws open, eyes wide. Did you go too far? You don’t know and part of you doesn’t care. It’s the truth, and it hits far too close to home for you to say nothing at all.
Still, to cover your bases, you add one last thing. “I apologize if that was harsh, but it needed to be said. I want what’s best for my kids. And sometimes, that means getting their parents to see that they need to do better.”
You pause, and he nods, and says another quiet “thank you.”
“You’re welcome,” you murmur. And to keep things from stinging any more, you walk away.
Julia and Kate catch up with you on the way back to your car, both too stunned to say a word until you’re inside.
“Damn,” Julia whispers. “Damn.”
“Holy shit,” Kate says with a small laugh. “Tell ‘em.”
“Yeah,” you exhale loudly. “Let’s just hope I still have a job by Monday.”
+++
You do still have a job come Monday, with surprisingly no meeting with the principal, either. Or a phone call.
You’re suspicious, but trying not to be. Maybe it’s all fine.
You convince yourself that it’s completely fine until it really is. Until you start seeing Aaron occasionally, picking Jack up from school. You aren’t sure how often he’s been doing it, because the only reason you saw him is that you were forced into car rider duty. You’ve always been on the bus lane, but they needed another teacher out front, and that’s where you saw him first.
It caught you off guard the first time, honestly. It had been three weeks since the soccer game, since you told him off in front of everyone. And what did he do this time when he saw you?
He waved. He smiled. And then he scooped Jack up into his arms.
She won’t own up to it, but you’re positive Julia saw the interaction because you haven’t worked the bus lane since. Because Julia suddenly volunteered for it, taking your place.
Now, it’s a bit of a routine. Aaron picks Jack up almost every day, although sometimes there are a few stretches of three to four days where he isn’t present. Those days, you see Jessica, and she smiles at you as well, but it’s different. You got so used to seeing Aaron those days, that when you see Jessica, it feels strange. It begins to feel the way it used to feel when you saw Aaron picking Jack up.
It makes you smile. You’re glad to see Aaron taking the time to see Jack, to put in the time — finally — knowing he has the means to be able to do this.
+++
For the rest of the school year, this is how you see Aaron Hotchner.
Neither of you say a word to each other, except for the final parent-teacher conference — which he arrives early for. The conference is entirely professional, and he doesn’t mention the past. Neither do you.
The final week of school fast approaches, and you’re looking for decorations to put up in the classroom. You try to make the last week special because you know they’re just as ready for summer break as you are.
Part of your “decorations” consists of candy that you’ll put on their desk every morning, which means you’re in the grocery store, in desperate need of candy to entertain your kids. Five different kinds. Something extra special on the last day, though. They’ll get out two hours earlier, but they don’t know that yet (the parents do).
Right as you turn down the candy aisle, you stop dead in your tracks, your cart nearly smacking into someone else’s. When you look up, you realize who it is.
“Mr. Hotchner!” you blurt.
He smiles that soft smile. “Please, call me Aaron.”
You’re not used to calling parents by their first name. You know he’s tried to get you to call him Aaron a few times, but you can’t ever bring yourself to. Instead, you change subjects, peering into his cart.
“Grocery shopping? For…” You raise an eyebrow. “I don’t even have a good joke. Why do you have so many marshmallows?” He has like…six big bags. Of varying sizes, too.
“Long story,” he says, sheepish. “Jack wants to build something out of marshmallows.”
“Does he want to build a whole country?” you chuckle.
“Sort of, yeah,” Aaron laughs. “He said he wants to build a whole city, then eat it. His words.”
“Wonderful,” you grin. “Sounds like a blast.” And a good idea. You might steal that for next year.
“What are you here for?” Aaron asks, nodding toward your empty cart.
“Candy, for the kids,” you reply. “I want to give them a different kind every day for the last week, just to make it more fun.”
Aaron smiles wider this time. “They’ll love that.”
“Thanks,” you say, mirroring his smile.
You don’t know what’s gotten into you. Or him, quite frankly. Building marshmallow sculptures with Jack? Unheard of. But you leave it alone, just glad he’s spending more time with his son.
“Well, I’ll let you get back to shopping,” Aaron says, gesturing down the aisle. “See you on Monday.”
Baffled, you blink, then nod. “Yeah. See you Monday.”
You see Aaron every day of next week to pick Jack up, and you get to see Jack’s smile grow every day.
On Friday, you head back inside to your classroom, ready to pack things up. Thankfully, you’re returning to this room next year, so you don’t need to pack everything up.
As a tradition, you, Julia, and Kate go out to celebrate the end of the year, so you have to go home and get ready for the night ahead.
+++
Aaron doesn’t know why he let Rossi convince him to come out tonight. Jack’s at a sleepover at a friend’s house, so Aaron has nothing to do — theoretically. Until Rossi decided to drag him out.
Now, he’s sitting in a booth at a bar with a jazz band playing, and he’s wondering how many people Rossi can possibly know. Four people have already stopped to say hi, and they’ve barely been here for half an hour.
As Rossi talks with another friend, Aaron lets his eyes wander around the place, spotting the door when it opens. And you walk in.
He quickly averts his eyes, shifting in his seat. It’s enough to catch Rossi’s attention, and he gives Aaron a strange look, until he sees you at the bar with your two friends from Jack’s soccer game.
Aaron keeps his eyes trained on his whiskey, nodding absently when Rossi says he’s heading to the restroom.
What Rossi is actually doing is heading to the bar to intercept you and your friends, putting all three of your drinks on his tab.
“Thanks,” you chuckle, never one to argue with a free drink.
“You look familiar,” Julia blurts out.
“Dave,” Rossi introduces himself. “I’m a friend of Aaron Hotchner’s. I went with him to a few of Jack’s soccer games last season.”
“That’s where I’ve seen you,” you say.
Dave smiles. His back is turned to Aaron, so he can’t see Aaron glaring at him, wondering what the hell he’s doing up there talking to you.
“Aaron’s here with me, actually,” Dave says casually. “He’s at the booth just behind us if you’d like to see him.”
Kate nudges your arm harshly. “She would.”
“Actually, I don’t know if that’s—”
“Go,” Julia urges. “Why not?”
You give them both a look. “Fine,” you cave. “I’ll be right back.”
Kicking yourself for caving so easily (because you really would like to see him), you walk over to the booth where Aaron sits. Thankfully, his back is toward you, so he doesn’t see you coming.
He beams a smile when he sees you though, standing up to greet you. “Hey, what are you doing in here?”
“Kate and Julia drug me out,” you confess, idling for a moment as you both try to decide if you should shake hands, hug, or just stand here. “You?”
“Dave,” Aaron nods, chuckling. Just standing here it is. “Did he send you?”
“They all did,” you nod toward the bar, where they’re all watching like hawks, no doubt. “Mind if I sit?”
“Not at all,” he gestures to the empty space. “How are you?”
“Good, we’re out celebrating the end of the year,” you reply, walking around the table and sitting down on the plush booth cushion. This place is fancier than you would’ve chosen, but Julia heard good things about it from a friend, so you ended up here anyway. “How are you doing?”
“Good, although Dave drug me out for drinks because apparently,” he lifts his drink, “I don’t get out enough.”
“Y’know, that’s funny, my friends tell me the exact same thing,” you laugh. “Dave bought our drinks.”
“I knew he was doing something suspicious,” Aaron jokes, glancing back toward the bar. Dave and your friends have taken over three stools, clearly set on giving you and Aaron some time alone. “Sorry again if he forced you over here.”
“No, he definitely didn’t. My friends did,” you assure him, rolling your eyes. “Oh, I have to ask, how did Jack’s marshmallow city building go?”
Immediately, Aaron digs his phone out of his pocket. “I have a lot of pictures, I’ll just show you.” He unlocks his phone and goes to his camera roll, already smiling at the thought of them. “He had a blast. We went through so many toothpicks. We both had stomachaches by the end of it from eating so many marshmallows.”
He turns his phone to show you the pictures, and without thinking, you scoot closer to him. To get a better look at the pictures, you tell yourself, but you know that isn’t the full truth.
“Oh my god,” you laugh, grinning from ear to ear. “This so huge!”
“It covered our entire kitchen!” Aaron laughs with you, a sweet sound you wish you heard more often. “I didn’t tell Jessica about it, so she had a heart attack when she came over the next day.”
“I bet,” you nod seriously, swiping on his phone as he holds it toward you. “Goodness.” You look up at Aaron. “Did you guys eat all of them?”
“We’ve had a lot of hot chocolate.”
“It’s May.”
“I know,” he deadpans, feigning annoyance, but then he breaks into a smile. “I’ll admit, I’ve been snacking on them maybe a little more than I should every time I go into the kitchen.”
“I would do the same,” you chuckle. “No judgment here.”
He smiles at you and tucks his phone away back in his pocket, and neither of you move from how close you’ve gotten.
“How are you planning to spend your summer break?” he asks, taking a sip of his whiskey. You try not to stare at him too much.
“Lots of getting ready for next year,” you reply, rotating your glass in your hand, focusing on it instead. “Mostly reading for fun, I don’t get to do that a lot during the school year when I’m reading for my kids and grading and such. I plan to do a lot of nothing, basically,” you laugh. “What about you?”
“The same, hopefully,” he says, which surprises you. And he can tell, because he elaborates. “I took a lot of time off from work. I work from home now, essentially. If I absolutely need to go in, then I do, but so far, Dave’s been able to handle it.”
You knew a big change had been made, especially since he’s been picking Jack up from school everyday. But hearing the confirmation makes your heart warm. “I’m really glad to hear that.”
“Me too,” he says. “I know we’ve been over this, but I wanted to thank you for what you said, at Jack’s game—”
Mortified, you interrupt him. “Oh god, I hoped you had forgotten about that.”
“I didn’t forget—”
“I was rude.”
“What you said needed to be said and I’m glad you did,” he protests sincerely. “You shouldn’t have had to say anything, but you did, and I appreciate that.”
His sincerity stuns you. You blink, no words able to come out.
“We can move on from it now,” he says, noticing your hesitation. “I just wanted to be clear that I’m not angry with you for what you said, I’ve actually been the complete opposite.”
“Well,” you chuckle, trying to make light of this. “You didn’t call the school demanding I be suspended, so I knew you couldn’t be that upset with me.”
He stares at you, eyes widening. “Do parents do that?”
“Some, yeah,” you nod. “They don’t exactly like being told by a single teacher with no kids of her own that their parenting skills are shit.”
He laughs, taking a sip of his whiskey. You watch him raise the glass to his lips, but look away before he can catch you. You smile down at your own drink. This is embarrassing.
You thought this little crush -- or whatever it is -- had gone away since you hadn’t spoken to him since the soccer game. Sure, you started to look specifically for him in the pickup area, but that was for Jack. That wasn’t for you. Or, at least, that’s the story you spun for yourself.
“What’s on your list to read this summer?” Aaron asks, bringing your eyes back to his. He’s smiling. “I’ve been meaning to read more -- outside of the books Jack and I read.”
You remember Jack telling you about The Magic Treehouse series that Uncle Dave got him for Christmas, and how his dad was reading them with him.
“What, The Magic Treehouse isn’t enough for you?” you tease Aaron, and he laughs, that sweet sound you can’t get enough of.
You tell him about the books on your shelf at home, the ones you got years ago and have yet to read, and the others that you got this year because you couldn’t resist. He listens to each one, never once taking his eyes off of you.
“I am not going to remember all of these names,” he chuckles.
“I can text them to you,” you offer, a grin creeping up your cheeks.
He mirrors your expression. “You stole my line.”
“Oh, that was your line?” you ask, laughing as you pull out your phone. “Fine, fine, you can have it back.”
“No, you said it first,” he says, still grinning. He hands you his phone as you give him yours. “I’m bad at this anyway.”
“I don’t know,” you shrug, typing in your contact information before handing his phone back. “I’ve had a pretty good time.”
He waits a moment, just basking in your smile, the feel of your fingertips brushing against his when he returns your phone. “Me too.”
The night doesn’t end there, as the two of you continue talking. Another round of drinks is sent to your table by Dave and your friends who wave enthusiastically when you and Aaron look over at them.
“Free drinks, at least,” you shrug. “How much money does Dave have?”
“Don’t ask,” Aaron shakes his head. “He’ll never tell.”
As you both finish your first drink and head into the second, you scoot even closer. You bring your legs underneath you on the booth, getting comfortable as you and Aaron start to talk about your favorite movies. He tries to be sneaky and put his arm around you, but you notice and can’t help the giggle that escapes you.
“I told you I’m bad at this.”
“No, it’s sweet!” you protest, leaning into his chest. “It’s very nice, I don’t mind.”
He moves his arm from the back of the booth to your shoulders then, his hand resting on your arm. “This okay?”
“It’s perfect,” you smile softly, turning your head to look up at him. “What movie were we on?”
He stares so intently, searching your face. You watch as his eyes gaze over every inch, dropping to your lips, then back to your pupils. “I have no idea.”
“Me either,” you murmur, silently hoping for a kiss. Silently hoping that he’s hoping, too.
And he is. “I know our friends are watching us,” he whispers. “But can I kiss you right now?”
“Yeah,” you grin. “I was about to ask.”
“Well now we’re even,” he says, leaning closer as he smiles. You tilt your head, meeting his lips halfway, not wanting to wait any longer. You’ve quieted these feelings for far too long.
He kisses you long and sweet, his free hand coming to cup your face as yours search for stability in his shoulders. He knocks the breath out of your lungs, literally, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.
Aaron pulls back for just a moment, just far enough to say, “Was that worth a gold star?”
You laugh, playfully swatting his chest. “Yeah, Aaron,” you say, looking up at him. “It was.”
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