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#my question is... is it lesbian to want to call myself a lesbian
moregraceful · 3 months
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accidentally invented a new form of no bedtime called 11pm glass of emergency-c + 4pm latte + 8pm cup of black tea + 9pm cup of black tea
#the real question is can i go to church on less than 5 hours of sleep and still function lol#i unlocked my instagram bc church wouldn't stop tagging me to direct people to me for stuff but that meant i had to delete a bunch of pho#tos AND rewrite a bunch of captions for photos i didn't WANT to delete bc i was too mean to random sharks prospects#which is fine if it is u know the anonymity of tumblr but not public instagram where my church won't stop FULL NAMING AND TAGGING ME#''anonymity of tumblr'' i doxx myself on here like 80 times a day in front of more people than i went to college with#anyway my point is i was going through deleting all evidence of politics pens fandom and legal documents and i was like damn#my attitude towards my team SUCKS. i gotta be way less of a hater!!!#what did my prospects ever do wrong besides everything NOTHING. the system is BROKEN. i am sorry i will be so much nicer guys :(#also if u really want to be humbled. scrolling back to 2012 on your instagram and re-experiencing senior year of college. BAD#i've deleted i think everything that would reasonably get our nonprofit status pulled but what a horrific journey it was#two full hockey intermission periods of deleting shit plus another hour at home doing several more passes and then rewriting captions#so that some poor 21 year old prospect randomly searching their name doesn't see me full ass call their teammate cringe#their teammate IS cringe. but i love him. but the nuances are lost on instagram people don't understand these things they take everything#at face value#don't know why i just assigned shakir mukhamadullin they/them pronouns#i think i need to go lie in bed with a blanket over my head until i suffocate#this ALWAYS happens i get too hype about mackenzie blackwood and start listening to selena gomez and then it's like almost 3am and i'm just#fresno oilers.txt#oh and. a friend sent me screenshots of the girl she's been flirting with on a dating app and they are SOOOOO cute#i hope they make a good run of it i really do bc it was SO cute. living vicariously through episcopalian lesbians as one does#but then i was trying to figure out how to edit my dating app profile to dissuade chasers but still honeytrap guys who are tall enough#or athletic enough to pick the tangerines at the top of the tangerine tree. bc i couldn't reach this week#but there were still like god maybe 150 tangerines on the tree. i was like this could be feeding people but i'm TOO SHORT#and my life will be like this. FOREVER#icb the future of this garden is so psychologically burdensome that i'm having to build it into a dating app profile lol#well now that i'd treated this entire tag set as twitter for and hour and a half#time to go try to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and then wake up in [checks notes] four hours
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scorndotexe · 30 days
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people referring to me as a man because i use he/him pronouns is equally as annoying as people referring to me as a woman because i'm a lesbian. gender is just one cage disguised as two.
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pepprs · 10 months
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prefacing this by saying im fine and its whatever and im mostly numb to it. but it kinda fucking sucks that being gaslit about my own sexuality leads to… doubting my own sexuality lol!
#purrs#just went to my first ever lavender graduation ceremony and had a convo w my dad after that touched on the EXACT horrors lol like i need to#learn to not bring this shit up around my parents bc they’re just gonna say the same things. and also it doesn’t matter bc idc about labels#and (to quote ricky) it’s a conversation not a constant. but like fucking hell. just bc ive never ‘’’’’’been with anybody’’’’’’ doesn’t#mean that i can’t know im not straight. the HORRIFIC psychic damage that did to me 5 years ago this month. the way i can’t think about#sexuality or being part of the lgbtq community since and like before then when that happened i thought i was a lesbian and was gonna try to#get involved with the school lgbtq student union . like it’s so ficking stupid and sad. and i can’t trust myself anymore i can’t tell if#anything ive ever felt for anyone is actually real bc according to my (straight and biphobic) parents ‘crushes don’t count’ and i haven’t#even had a crush in months anyway and yeah ive never ‘been with’ anybody. but like god damn. you DO NOT get to tell me i have to call myself#questioning. yeah im questioning but only i can call it that and only if i want to. i get to know me. i get to call me what i am. which also#means i get to work through the years of psychic damage this thread of conversation coming from my own parents has done to me#but i own that. i want to own that. ive had the feelings i have had. maybe they were wrong and misplaced and maybe there are other ways to#interpret them like me jus t having projection issues and whatever. but they were real to me and are real to me and shape how i show up#every single day. i get to know myself. i get to call myself what i am. even though you’re my parents you don’t get to tell me that. and you#should be sorry for how fucked in the head this has made me and how cut off i have become from other people who have felt what i have felt#and from the parts of myself that felt and hurt and loved. like lolllll. i was in a good mood and then that happened and now my heart hurts.#delete later#like i don’t talk abt this shit anymore for a reason 🤪✌️ i am not involved in lgbtq groups or communities online or offline for a reason 🤪✌️#and it’s yet another manifestation of impostor syndrome too like. ppl wonder why im like this…. there is a very good reason 💖
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I’m not sure my friend believed me about being a lesbian. Comp het got me bad though not as bad as it got some people because I loudly insisted I was bi or ace instead of straight for years- so I knew something was up but was unwilling to open that box fully. 
It’s just that I’m very close to my family (and currently dependent on them because of my disability but working to attempt for independence) and I know they were hoping I’d somehow turn out straight. Though it’s not like I was ever going to have any biological kids so I don’t see why it would have mattered. 
#but it's isolating in two ways now because it's assumed I was going to be straight and I guess people assumed I wanted kids?#I was glad to see my friend but wow she's way more of a normal person than me and it was kind of isolating to realize that#I wanted to ask her so many questions but I think perhaps it's better I didn't#but maybe I'm wrong and she did believe me#she used to date men before too before she realized she was a lesbian#she's very happily married to a woman and she and her wife are both a very nice couple#like wow I was in the student pride group in both my undergrads...I could have had a girlfriend if I had a brain back then :/#I'm just an idiot who does not connect the dots fast enough#also I'm very much in my own weird world and out of touch with reality so that kind of hurt to realize#though I guess I needed that#she said I was a great friend and I really want to be but Idk it feels like I fail her constantly#she's my best friend irl and half the time she has no idea wtf I'm trying to talk about#it kind of hurts I'm not gonna lie but it's not her fault!#I'm very invested in history/literature and she's a normal person#also I feel like my social skills have definitely deteriorated as of late :/#I'm going to be 30 next year and I won't even have my MA ;-;#excuse me as I mourn my 20s and my own inability to call a duck a duck for whatever reason#I'm not sure how much of this I can blame on bipolar disorder#it seems very catholic of me to deny myself any love and avoid things that I might actually enjoy#my chatter
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tartarusknight · 4 months
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I want more platonic stobin and bisexualy disaster Steve and gay disaster Eddie in my life. So I wrote some :)
Steve wanted to scream as he tried the handle again. "Steve. Steve!" Robin pulled him away from the door. "They aren't opening the door, and you're just gonna break the handle. Keith already hates your guts. Don't make it worse." She pointed out, weirdly calm about all of this. "Plus, it's not like we don't share space normally." She says and sinks down to the floor, tugging him down with her.
Steve looked at the door, "Why can't they accept that we're only ever going to be platonic?" He asks and runs a ran through his hair. He was sick of this. Of the comments and the teasing. It stresses him out.
They kept pushing the two of them together, and Steve was worried that it could mess up what friendship he had with Robin. Because Steve's used to messing up and hurting someone, and he really doesn't want to hurt Robin. He has nightmares of outing her by accident and ruining her life. It terrifies him.
"Steve, come on, it's okay. It's just a stupid bathroom. We've shared a bathroom stall. This is bigger than that." She jokes, and he pulls his knees up to his chest.
"I can't do this, Rob." He admits and watches her freeze. Her walls climbed up like he said something really stupid. "I'm sorry, but I'm just-"
She cuts him off, "I get it. You don't want to deal with the backlash of being a lesbian's friend." She says, and he blinks.
"What? No! I don't want to say the wrong thing. I get bitchy when I'm annoyed and I'm easily annoyed when I'm stressed. And I'm stressed! So I don't - I can't be the one to out you. I can't mess that up for you." He says, and it's nice to finally admit his fears.
Robin blinks at him, "That's what- Steve, that's what bothers you about all this?"
Steve nods, "I mess up everything I touch. I can't do that to you, I won't do that to you. Honestly, you should probably find better friends. One who thinks with his brai-"
"Shut up." Robin snaps, and he stops speaking. Looking at her with wide eyes. "You can't talk about my best friend that way. I won't let you," She states.
"You're best friend?"
Her eyes soften, "yeah dingus. Who else would be my best friend? We're soulmates," She decides, and he's confused because she sounds like she means it. "Platonic, with a capital p, soulmates."
He swallows back a ball of emotion, "even if all the kids I babysit-"
"Mother."
"Babysit," he stresses, and she smiles. "Try to get us together at every opportunity and won't believe that we aren't in love. Or that I'm in love with you at the least. I think you're better off because you call me dingus more than my name," he mused.
Robin sighed, "I won't say that it's not annoying. But I'm used to dodging questions about boys, and this way... with you, I have someone to be myself with. That's more important to me than some stupid preteens who think locking us in a bathroom would get us together."
Steve smiles, "last time we shared a bathroom did go pretty well, honestly." She knocked her knee into his. He glanced over at the door. "Do you think they'll give up?"
Robin snorts, "Dustin's more invested in your love life than you are. I don't think he'll give up unless you're dating someone else or the truth comes out."
Steve sighed, chewing his lower lip until something clicked in his head. "What If I come out?"
Robin blinked, "you- what?"
Steve nodded, "I mean I like both but I could just say I favor guys." He shrugs, "it's not like they could disprove it since it's mostly true."
Robin stared at him, "Steve... since when did you- what? Steve oh my god," She shifted onto her knees and slammed into him. "Since fucking when! Why didn't you ever tell me!"
Steve raised an eyebrow, "what do you mean since when? I literally point out hot guys all the time! When we watched watched Rocky Horror, I said Tim Curry was sexy!"
She shook his shoulders, "you did no such thing! You ask if I also think a guy is hot and you said- oh." It clicks for her and she falls back on her ass. She covers her face, "holy shit."
Steve smirks, "holy shit."
A giggle escapes her lips, "you so have a type."
"Shut up," he groans.
But before they can really dig into it, there's a loud knock on the door. "We're gonna open the door in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" The door swings in a Dustin's hand is over his eyes like he's gonna be scarred at the sight of them.
"We're literally just sitting on the floor Henderson. Not having freaky bathroom sex," Steve rolls his eyes and stands, Robin following suit.
Dustin looks upset like he expect his plan to work. "I don't get it." Steve ruffles his hair as he passes the kid. Robin lets out a small laugh as she stretches her limbs like she had been stuck in there for more than just 15 minutes. Steve turns, and she locks eyes with him, a silent question.
"Kid, I've said this a million times, but I'll say it one more time." He glances at the other kids that had either always been there or gotten here at some point since he'd been locked into the bathroom. "Robin and I will never date. She and I have no romantic feelings for each other. And if you pull this shit when we're at work again, I'll kill you."
"It's not like it was hard to figure out how to check someone out," Max shrugged and Steve huffed at her nonchalant grin from behind the counter.
Steve ushers the kids out from behind the counter before taking his normal spot, looking around at the empty store. Robin moves and bumps shoulders with him. "Platonic feelings only." She gestures between them.
Dustin groan, "I just don't get why!"
Steve glances at Robin, "because I'm too gay for her." He states and everyone goes quiet. "Honestly boobies are so high school." He winks at Robin who looks at him like he's bravely stupid.
"Wait but you dated Nancy?" Mike questioned arms over his chest.
Steve rolled his eyes, "so? I am more picky on who I date. Doesn't matter the gender. Robin doesn't tick my boxes."
"But she should!" Dustin complains and Robin groans.
But then Steve sees someone in the windows, heading towards the doors to Family video. "My type is more," and he just gestures just as the door dings to call their attention to the newcomer.
Eddie Munson glances at the kids and then at Steve. "Sheepies," he says. Eyebrows raised in confusion at the eyes on him. Eddie glanced at Steve, "Harrington, you break the kids?" He asks as all the kids continue to stare at him as he moves to the horror section.
Steve waves his hand, like he can brush off the confusion. "Nah, they're just shocked that I'm not completely in love with Birdie over here."
Everyone's jaw is on the floor as Steve leans his arms on the counter, not even bothering to hide the way he checks Eddie out when the man looks away. "Right," Eddie sighs and grabs a movie. "Well, not everyone's type is jocks." Eddie teases slightly, having warmed up to Steve little by little when Steve picks the kids up from Hellfire.
Steve takes the movie from Eddie, giving him his one free movie he gets for the week and hands it back to Eddie without charging him. "I'll win ya over." He winks, and Eddie's eyes go a little wide.
Eyes glanced around like he could ask if anyone else saw that. "Um, well, yeah, how-how much for the-"
"Consider it on me." Steve waved his hand and then leaned more into Eddie's space, "I haven't seen this one yet."
Eddie swallows, "You should check it out. It's, uh, pretty good."
Steve smiles, "I'm shit with horror, maybe if I had someone to hold my hand through it." He sighs overdramatically, then snaps, "Oh, I know! If you're not busy we could watch it together. I mean, it seems like a scary metalhead like yourself would be capable of holding my hand through the jump scares."
Eddie's eyes are blinking rapidly, "it's for the boys." He says, looking lost. Steve frowns, and Eddie jumps into action, "But I could-" He stops himself and groans. "I've got to- plans- fuck-" He stumbles and practically smacks into the door in his rush to leave family video.
Steve sighs and leans his head down on the counter. Robin pats his back, "I miss my whiteboard." She sighs and he looks up to glare at her.
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icaruspendragon · 1 month
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i hope this isn't too personal of a question (and if it is that's totally cool, i was literally just curious as a fellow aspec person), but i was wondering what some of your thoughts were about being aspec, like it's totally cool if your thoughts were just the post you reblogged!!! that's honestly still putting into words a bit a similar way i figured out i was aspec, but i know you seem to have really interesting takes on things/conclusions you've realized about things a lot of the time and so i was just curious what thoughts were turning around your head about being aspec
I don't mind talking about it at all!
So for me sex is like this perfunctory, borderline tedious thing. I almost want to call it a chore, but that has negative connotations that don't exactly match up with how I feel about it. It's like something on a to do list, or like running an errand.
Think of it this way: For me, having sex is akin to going to the pharmacy. Actually, it's more like being asked to go for someone else. It's not on my list of things I enjoy doing and there are other things I would rather do, but I don't mind going if someone asks me to. But once in a blue moon I do actually want to go because I want candy or a Juneberry Red Bull or some shit like that and Walgreens happens to be nearby.
Media builds up sex to be this incredible and awesome and amazing thing that everyone wants to have, which is at odds with the widely held societal belief that it's uncouth to discuss sex openly with others. So if media says "yes you should want this" and society says "but you shouldn't talk about it with others because it's an incredibly private act" it makes it kinda difficult when you don't feel the way you're "supposed to." And then when you do talk about how you don't feel that way, people say there's something wrong with you or that you haven't found the right person or that maybe you need to change things up in the bedroom or that you need to go to a doctor because it's gotta be a hormonal imbalance or something. The list really does go on and on.
And so many of my expectations surrounding sex were informed by fanfic where I read, in detail, about how good it was supposed to feel. About all the different ways it could feel good.
I wanted it to be like that for me, for it to be as good as I had read and seen and heard others talk about, so I kept on trying. And sometimes I enjoyed it. Not E rated fanfic enjoyed it, but it was nice. Nice in the same way a cup of tea is nice, but nice nonetheless.
But most of the time it was like, clinical? Like I was acutely aware of what was happening, if that makes sense. I was thinking about the mechanics of it, what was going in where. I was thinking about how it was "supposed to feel" versus how it actually felt. I would wonder how much longer it would take because I was getting bored. Sometimes I would think about how rude it would be if I checked my phone. And probably the most upsetting (retrospectively) thing I would think about was if my act of enjoyment was convincing enough. And I didn't ever want to tell a partner that I wasn't enjoying it because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. Because I thought it was a me problem. That there was something wrong with me. And there being something wrong with me wasn't fair to whoever I was with. I just needed to grin and bear it, so to speak.
At one point I had a bit of a gay panic where I thought wasn't bisexual and actually a lesbian. The panic was over the confusion, not over the potential lesbianism. Lesbians are awesome. But I learned that while sexual intimacy with women was a bit easier, my feelings (or lack thereof) about sex were still the same. And that meant there was something wrong with me in particular.
I know now that my perspective was warped and my thoughts about myself were both unkind and untrue, but that was a lot to try and reconcile as a 19 year old who already thought she was undesirable. Constantly being called a "late bloomer" and not having your first relationship until you're a sophomore in college sure does a number on your self esteem. Which in turn does a number on your perception of yourself.
Then as I got older, I got more queer friends. And I talked to those queer friends. And they talked about sex differently than my straight friends did. More openly and honestly. With less fanfare. And it was during those discussions that I heard about experiences similar to mine. And it helped me realize I wasn't broken. Well, that and google.
And now I stand before you today, an aspec bisexual able to joke about being horny in theory but not in application. It's nice not feeling broken anymore. But I think it's even nicer now knowing that I was never broken in the first place.
Sometimes sex is nice, but most of the time, it's just going to the pharmacy. And both of those things are okay.
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eimids · 5 months
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Tension
Leah Williamson x reader smut
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Reader is questioning her sexual identity, Leah’s here to help.
warnings: Smutt, first time
Words: 3.3k
Being a 24 year old virgin is hard. Myteamates at arsenal ask me about my sex life quite often but yeah no. Still a fucking virgin.
I just think I'm atill a virgin because I've been questioning my sexual identity forever. Now i'm thinking that I'm romantically attracted to men but I couldn't imagine having sex with a man. That is just a no. But I'm more sexually attracted to females. Although I could imagine being with a female romantically. So I guess that makes me bi? Pan?
I have had mixed feelings about my teammate Leah. She's really pretty and I can't help but glance at her every now and then. There's tension between us.
Sexual tension.
I have never really had anything like this. She's been flirting with me during training and one time we shared a room and I could see her staring at me when I got out of the shower. We have known each other only for 5 months since I moved to arsenal but we are actually gotten quite close.
Today Leah asked me to go to a bar with her. I felt excited but nervous at the same time.
I was running late. When I showered I decided to shave my body just in case anything happens. I had a huge problem with my clothes. I didn't want to be too fancy but I didn't want to look like a bum. I ran outside to my cab and climbed in.
I saw Leah standing next to the bar. She was looking around to see me. I wasn't really sure if other teammates would also be here or not.
Our eyes met and she smiled at me. She waved at me and I walked to her. She was wearing a gorgeous oversized blazer.
"Hi Leah" I said and smiled. I was leaning in for a hug but then I remembered that she really doesn't like hugs.
"Hi y/n. You look gorgeous" Leah said as she checked me out.
"So do you! What are you drinking" I asked and then added "wait don't say. Just ordered me the same that you are having. I'll go to the bathroom real quick" I said and left. Leah looked a little confused.
I was so nervous that I was feeling nauseous. 'Why am I so nervous, she's just a teammate' I thought to myself. I stayed in the bathroom for a while until I was feeling calmer.
"Sorry that you had to wait" I said when I walked back to Leah.
"It's fine y/n. So here is your drink" She said and pushed a drink towards me.
"Thank you. So is this a girl's night or is it just us tonight?" I asked. Still wondering if other teammates like Beth, McCabe and Less would show up.
"Today it's just us. I want to get to know you better since you are the newbie" She said and smirked.
"Hey don't call me that" I said sounding hurt. Of course with sarcasm.
"You are the newbie tho" She teased.
"Fine. But you said you wanted to get to know me. What do you have in mind?" I asked.
"Nothing special. Just want to get to know you. Like where did you grow up, why you decided to join Arsenal and do you have a boyfriend?" She said. I was little taken back by the boyfriend question.
"I grew up in Sweden and England. I moved a lot when I was younger, I wanted to join arsenal so I could get better at the best club. I do not have a boyfriend. Nor girlfriend" I answered her in one breath.
"Slow down y/n. We have all night to talk. Follow up question. Do you like girls?" She asked.
"Yeah I do. I've been questioning my sexuality for so long but yeah I like girls. I mean how can you not. But how about you" I answered.
"I'm lesbian" She said "and single" She added and winked. I blushed a little.
"Would you girls like to have anything else?" The bartender asked suddenly. I noticed that she was looking at me.
"I think we're good" I answered and smiled.
"Well if you need anything just let me know" She said and winked at me. She slid a card to me where was her phone number.
Leah had a weird look on her face. I couldn't figure out what it was until it hit me.
Jealousy.
Leah Wiliamson was jealous because some bartender was flirting with me. I was feeling quite special. From all girls in the world she chose me to go to a bar with.
Leah then put her hand on my knee. Her hand was going little higher as she drew some patterns to my knee. Butterflies filled my stomach again. How was this happening. A literal goddess next to me.
"Y/n I'm gonna be a little forward now" Leah said and I nodded.
"I really want you in my bed. Ever since you joined the team I haven't been able to take my eyes off of you. You are intoxicating. I have always just wanted to kiss you, to have you"
To have me.
I was really wondering if this was real. Leah fucking Wiliamsson telling me that she wants me.
"I... I want you t-too Leah" I said not so smoothly as I thought it would be.
"What about we get out of here?" Leah asked and stood up.
I nodded and she put her hand possessively on the small of my back. We walked to her car and she opened the door for me and then went to the other side of the car to get in.
The ride was full with tension. Neither of us said anything but Leah’s hand was on my upper thigh the whole ride.
I got lost in my thoughts. Suddenly the car stopped and Leah walked to my side of the car and opened the door. She helped me out from the car and we walked inside her apartment building. It was big fancy building.
Once we got to the elevator she pushed me against the wall and smashed our lips together. I kissed her back and we made out intensively in the elevator.
Once we got to the highest floor we entered Leah’s apartment. A fricking penthouse.
"Wow. This is-" i started but Leah closed the door and once again pushed me against the wall.
"Y/n I need to know that you are okay with this?" Leah said with her lips right next to my ear.
I nodded. Not getting any words out of my mouth.
"I need a verbal answer. Are you okay with this?" She asked again.
"Y..Yes Leah" I said and licked my lips.
"Good" She said and attached her lips back to mine.
We made out for a while until she moved her knee to my pussy. I don't know what she did but I let an embarrassing sound from my mouth. She chuckled at me and pulled away.
"Go to my room. I'll be there soon" She said and I started walking. Then I realized that I don't know where her room is in this huge apartment. I was turning around to ask but she said "Down the hall, the last room".
I continued walking to her room. I opened the door and then I was in the most gorgeous room that I have ever been.
I sat on the bed admiring Leah’s room. It was quite dark. There were led lights that brought some light. They were really bright white color. There was two doors on the other side of the room and the other side was just  big window.
I heard steps coming towards the room. My pulse quickened and I felt red creeping on my cheeks. Leah opened the door and walked in. She was now wearing only pants and bra and she was holding two glasses with maybe water in them.
"My god you are beautiful y/n. I can't wait to have you. You are so pretty sitting there. My good girl. You just do things to me. I can't act normal around you at prac" She started. She walked next to me and put her hand on my face and then carefully to my neck.
"Beth has been teasing me about you for months now. She has noticed that I'm different around you" She continued.
"No I'm finally having what I have wanted for months. You" She ended her sentence.
Leah wants me.
Then I began to panic a little. 'Do I need to tell Leah that I'm a virgin. What if I don't know what to do. What if Leah thinks that I'm gross down there' I thought to myself.
Leah obviously noticed me becoming tense.
"Hey what's wrong" She asked.
"Nothing. It's just I.." I started. Do I really have to tell her that I'm a virgin.
"Y/n It's okay. I want you to be comfortable today. I won't do anything you are even the slightest uncomfortable with" Leah said comforting.
"It's just that I...I'm a virgin" I said. The last part was barely a sound. It was so quiet but for my surprise Leah just smiled.
"Well that's even better. I get to be the first one to show you how good you can feel. I get to show you what your body is able to do" She said and started kissing my neck.
"Now tell me y/n, have you ever had an orgasm?" Leah asked. I flushed bright red. Even more red than I was before.
"No" I answered quietly.
"I love that. I get to be the first one to show you what an orgasm feels like. And don't be so embarrassed, it's okay y/n. Relax a little" Leah said. And kissed my lips softly.
"I think you are little too dressed for this occasion" Leah said and flipped me over. She unzipped my dress and carefully removed it from my body. She then flipped me back so I was looking at her.
"God you are beautiful y/n" She said and put her hand gently around my neck.
"Today I'm gonna make you feel things that you have never felt. I'm gonna make you come over and over again. But now you need an safe word. When you say the word I promise I will stop everything I'm doing. You can say it if something hurts or if things feel just uncomfortable. I want you to enjoy this night" Leah said.
"I don't know. What should it be?" I asked confused
"Well it can be anything. Something that you will remember" Leah answered. She was kissing my neck.
"Umm Rose? It has spikes and it's red so I associate it with danger usually. It's also my favorite flower" I answered I was starting to ramble but then I decided to try to touch Leah put she pinned my hands above my head.
"Rose it is. Whenever you say that I promise I'll stop what i'm doing. And please if anything is uncomfortable tell me. We can take things slower. But now you are being really inpatient, aren't you" Leah said and licked her lips.
"Please can I touch you Leah?" I asked.
"Not yet Princess" She answered and my heart fluttered and the nickname. Leah continued kissing me. She unclasped my bra and threw it away. She swirled her tongue around my nipple and I just moaned. I couldn't help the sound leaving my mouth.
"Mhmm don't stop Lee. It feels good" I said breathing heavily.
"You are already moaning and I have barely touched you" Leah said and sucked my nipple. The words that Leah said made me wetter than I already was.
"Lee please I need more" I asked pleading.
"I know you want more but I promise you will feel even better if we do this slowly" Leah said and then started kissing my stomach. She went lower and lower until she was at my panties.
"Is it okay if I take these off?" She asked and immediately answered yes.
She used only her mouth to take them off. She threw them somewhere and then kissed my inner thighs. I was feeling super needy and I wanted her already to fuck me already.
"Please Lee. Please just please" I begged.
"Is my girl needy. You want to know how my mouth feels on your clit and my fingers inside you?" She asked.
"Yes. I want you to fuck me. Please" I said. I was feeling so weird. Everything was too much but not enough at the same time.
"Oh god Lee” I yelled when I finally felt her mouth sucking on my clit. She swirled her tongue around it at the same time. Just that could have made me explode.
She then dipped one finger in me easily. She tested if I was wet enough and the she pushed another in me.
"God yes!!" I moaned loudly. My breathing became heavier as something started happening inside me.
Leah was going a slow pace with her first tongue. She flicked it on my clit before starting a faster pace. Her fingers slowly curling so they were touching more of my insides. Then they hit a spot that made my back arch and my body felt like it was on fire.
"Fuck Leah right there. YESS" I yelled but Leah slowed down her pace. She then stopped and straddled me again.
"Don't come until I tell you to" She said and I was about to protest and then her thigh touched my clit and I moaned.
Leah smiled as she was looking at me. She slowly started to move her body and I started to grind on her thigh. My mouth opened and moans left it.
I was so vulnerable for Leah. I just wanted to pleaseher and not come but I was so close. Leah was controlling me but in a good way.
"Please" I whined.
"Not yet y/n" She said and brought her hand to my cunt and pushed her fingers inside again.
She was going fast with her fingers and again she started flicking my clit. Then she curled her fingers against the same spot that already made my back arch.
"Leah, I-I need t..to come" I was shaking under her. The feeling was so strong.
"Now. Do it. Come for me Princess" Leah said and I let the most ungodly sound. I felt like my body was on fire as it shook. Leah’s fingers were still moving inside of me. I tried to control the shocks going through my body but all I could do was moan.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck.." I moaned as the white continued to cover my vision.
I cried out nonsense. My body was trembling with the overwhelming feeling. My pyssy was stretching and tightening around Leah’s fingers with every thrust.
Slowly I felt every movement stop. I could only hear Leah’s breathing and my own. My body felt numb but in the best way possible.
"Wow, that was... that was wow" I mumbled while panting.
Leah laughed a little. My body was still shaking.
"You were so good my princess. I know I keep telling you this but you are so incredibly beautiful. Especially when you come" Leah said and kiss my lips. It was more sensual, more gentle.
"Can- can I do that again?" I asked curiously.
"Yeah you can. I can make you come many more times but I bet you are really sensitive right now" She said and swiped my clit gently. I buckled my hips. My clit in fact was sensitive.
"But i wanna feel that again" I said pouting.
"Hmm I have an idea but I wanna know that you are 100% comfortable with it" Leah said and I nodded. Curious what she had in mind.
"I have a strap in that closet. Do you know what it is?" Leah asked and I nodded.
"What if we use that?" Leah suggested and once again I nodded.
"Princess give me a verbal answer" Leah said softly.
"Yes Lee, I want that" I needed something so badly I could have cried.
She then stood up and walked to the closet. She finally took her pants off and put the harnest on. She then walked back to me and layed next to me. She flipped me so I was on top of her next to the fake penis.
"Are you sure about this?" She asked
"100%. I promise" I answered.
"Good girl" Leah said and the praise made my heart beat faster. She grabbed lube from her nightstand and put it on the strap. It was now nice and slippery.
"Okay princess, Whenever you are ready" Leah said and put her hands in my hips.
I got on top of the strap and slowly started going down. Leah’s strong hands were supporting me as I slide down the dick. It was stretching me perfectly.
When it was fully in me tears started to form in my eyes because of the pleasure. I waited for a while to be comfortable and then I moved up slightly and then back down.
"Fuck. Lee, I feel so full. You are making me feel so full" I moaned.
"You are doing so good baby" Leah said and I moved my body against the dick. It hit so many good spots. She started to lift me slowly up and down on the strap.
I felt tears coming down from my eyes as I was slowly bouncing on the strap. Leah was praising me but I really couldn't hear them because I was so focused on chasing my orgasm.
I started to bounce faster and faster on the strap. Leah looked surprised at my pace.
"I- I-I'm gonna cum" I said and my eyes rolled to the back of my head.
I kept bouncing on the strap and I brought my hand to rub my clit. Everything was perfect. Everything felt so good but little overwhelming.
Then it happened again. My body started to shake uncontrollably and I felt like million little shocks were going trough my body. I came hard on the strap. I could feel liquid come out of me.
Leah’s hands supported me as I really couldn't control my body.
"Rose. Rose" I quickly said when everything was too much. Tears in my eyes.
Leah immediately flipped us over and took the strap out of me. My body still shook a little because it was still climaxing.
"You are okay princess" Leah said and took the harness off. She then took a blanket and covered our bodies with it. She wrapped her arms around me as I came from my high.
"Are you okay?" She asked?
"Yeah. It was just little too much but wow it felt good" I said and laughed.
"Thank you for telling me that it was enough. And I'm glad you enjoyed it" She said and smiled. I smiled back at her and quickly fell asleep on her arms.
"Wake up. We are here" I heard. I opened my eyes and I was in a car. The car was parked in front of a bar. I was in a cab. 'What is going on?' I thought until I realized.
It was all a dream.
——
This is actually a fic i have written some time ago but i decided to post it here.
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yandere-writer-momo · 3 months
Text
Decided to share a piece I had written in 2019
Yandere Short Stories:
Heroes and Villains
Yandere lesbian supervillain x Afab Reader x Yandere Superhero x Yandere Heroine
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  A young woman fidgeted in her seat as she sat in a plush red love seat right outside the CEO’s office. The large black doors intimidating her as she began to sweat. The bunny keychain attached to her black purse jingling every time she shifted in her seat.
     The young reported pulled out a compact mirror from her black purse as she checked her appearance again, making sure not a single hair was out of place to not offend the big bad boss of Domino Electric, the largest electricity company in the nation. The powerhouse of every major city’s power. The young woman had heard rumors that the CEO was a cold woman with a hell of a temper. 
    The young reporter was amazed to have this assignment rather than making a newspaper article on the rise of superheroes and the ever so popular super villainess, Electra.
    Creak. The young reporter’s head snapped up as she quickly composed herself and placed her compact mirror back into her bag. A tall, slender woman stood before her as the assistant gave her a reassuring smile.
    “Miss Spark is ready to speak with you now.” The woman raised a hand to the door with a bow as the young reporter shakily stood up and slowly made her way into the office, the door shutting quickly behind her, trapping her in the den of a lion.
    The young reporter gulped as her (eye color) eyes stared at the figure of a tall, voluptuous woman with long, straight silver hair and a black dress suit on. The businesswoman soon turning around, revealing her beautiful, flawless dark skinned face and violet eyes. The reporter whole face flushed red when they made eye contact. She felt like a tiny rabbit in front of a wolf. Her knees shook as her (eye color) eyes glanced at the CEO’s plump lips and slowly trailing her gaze to the violet silk dress shirt the businesswoman had on under her black dress jacket.
    “Sit down, Miss (last name).” The woman’s voice was cold and firm, the young reporter immediately sitting down as the tall woman sat in front of her. “I believe you have some questions for me?”
     “Ah, y-yes...” the reporter reached into her back, pulling out a notebook and pencil as well as a voice recorder. “I’m so happy for this opportunity, Miss Spark-“
    “You may call me Aria Spark since we are alone together.” The reporter nodded as she opened up the notepad and smiled at the businesswoman. “What is your name?”
    “Oh, my name is (your full name).” (Your name) replies as she turned to the recorded. “Let’s start with the basics shall we?”
   “What made you decide to be a businesswoman?”
    “I lived in poverty as a child and wanted a better life for myself. So I climbed to the top by utilizing my skills.” Aria replied as (your name) smiled at her to continue.
    “And what may those skills be?”
    “I am very good with electrical work.” 
    (Your name) jotted Aria’s answers down as (your name) listened attentively to every word Aria replied to her questions. (Your nams) soon learned a lot about Aria’s childhood such as her old neighborhood being in the ghetto and Aria’ friends and family who either were no longer in her life or still very close. About how it was hard being a lesbian CEO without criticism and hate comments. Aria told (your name) she was bullied a lot throughout high school for being gay. Aria also wanted to become a businesswoman and make it to the top to prove that she wasn’t scared of people’s expectations of her. Aria was a very admirable woman.
    And as the interview came to a close, (Your name) turned off her recorder as the reporter gave Aria another warm smile.
    “Thank you so much for this interview, I will publish this in the magazine soon-“ Aria suddenly leaned forward, placing her hands across her desk to stand in front of (your name), caging the young woman in her chair.
    “You should go out to dinner with me sometime. You’re really cute.” Aria then reached into her pocket and handed (your name) a business card with her name and number on it. “Call me whenever and we can go out.”
    “I-I... Oh um, I think I should go-“
  “You’re such a cute little bottom.” Aria chuckled as her violet eyes stared down at the smaller female through long silver eyelashes. “Makes me want to eat you.”
    “I-I’m leaving! Have a good day!” (Your name) quickly scrambled away, accidentally dropping the bunny keychain as Aria picked it up. The violet eyed woman smiling at the cute rabbit.
    “She’s just like a rabbit.” Aria smirked as she gazed out the door in awe. “And I’m going to have that little rabbit.”
    “Miss Spark, I think you scared her away. I’ve never seen someone run so fast-“ the assistant paused as the businesswoman began to chuckle. “Miss Spark? Are you alright?”
    “She’s perfect. Absolutely perfect.” A spark of lavender electricity surrounded Aria as she smirked.
    “Miss Spark, I don’t know if you know her well enough to-“
    “Maybelle, I want all her records and any other personal information you can find about her. I want the little rabbit girl-“
    The assistant sighed as she bowed to her employer. “Right away, Miss Spark.” .
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    “So how’d the interview go, (Your name)?” A slender  woman with long, black hair asked as (your name) flushes bright red. The Japanese woman had her jacket off, revealing her various tattoos and ever so prominent piercings, such as her prized septum ring.
    “R-really good, Ryoko. It’s just-“
    “Just?”
    “I didn’t think she’d be so attractive!” (Your name) squeaked out loudly as everyone in the break room stared at the two women as (your name) flushes even more red. “S-she was so curvy and had the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen. And s-she asked me to dinner. Oh god I ran away from her, I-I’m so humiliated.” 
    The pale woman laughed at (your name) as the young reporter comically hid her face in her arms. 
    “Well, Miss Spark is clearly interested in you. Probably because you scream ‘bottom’-“
    “Why does everyone keep saying that!”
   “Because you’re like a cute little rabbit. So timid and shy. Easily flustered, you’re just really cute.” Ryoko told the (hair color) haired girl as Ryoko smiled, showing off her frenulum piercing. (Your name) began to fiddle with her fingers as she pressed them together.
    “Do you think I should give her a call?”
   “Well, do what your heart wants but we should leave, the pig is here.”
    (Your name) turned her head to see the boss of their News media company, Metro Media, Jasper Jones. He was handsome for a man. Tall with a large muscle build, pale blue eyes, short wavy, sandy blonde hair, a chiseled jaw, and he had this tough guy vibe with a scar right across his nose. He was very handsome and he was a very driven man but-
     “(Your name), there you are, I need you to see me in my office about your report.” His low voice rung out through the break room as he had his hands on top of the doorway, flexing his muscles through his white dress shirt as the other women swooned. All except (your name). She wasn’t interested in him that much. She didn’t understand what the other women found so great about him...
    “Y-yes, mister Jones.”
     “You can call me Jasper.” The man chuckled as (your name) tried not to cry at how much the male scared her. He constantly gave her compliments and although they were never stepping over boundaries, it was the way he stared at her. She has never met anyone who stared at her with eyes that felt as if they were undressing her. Jasper’s pale blue eyes gazed at her with such a burning intensity that (your name) felt as if she’d light on fire at any moment.
    “Um, I prefer Mister Jones. I’ll talk to you once I’m done eating-“
    “How about we go eat in my office-“ (Your name) gulped as she stared at her lap as she fidgeted with her hands nervously. She was so close to crying.
    “S-sorry. Maybe another time-“
   “Alright how about we go out tomorrow at the cafe next door to the building? My treat?”
   “Um, okay-
    “Hey, Mister Jones, (your name) is uncomfortable. Could you tone it down?” Ryoko stepped in as she stood between the two, her onyx eyes glowing gold for the briefest of moments as Jasper stood up and took a step back.
    “Oh sorry, I didn’t realize I did. Sorry for not noticing (your name).” The girl merely smiled shyly as she stared at her lap. “I’ll see you in my office later.”
   Jasper then turned to leave, flexing his back muscles as he did so, causing (your name) to look away in disgust.
    “I don’t like that guy hanging so close around you.” Ryoko stared as she went back to her seat, her onyx eyes furrowing in worry as she gazed at (your name). “You need to be more assertive with your no’s. Just tell him that you’re not interested. I know you’re bisexual but seriously, it’s obvious you lean more towards women. Just tell him you’re gay or something. I’m sure he’ll get the hint then.”
    “But I don’t want to make him u-upset. The look in his eyes scares m-me.” Ryoko frowned as she got up from her seat and wrapped her arms around her mousy friend, her body slowly heating up slightly as she glared at the door Jasper walked out of.
     “Don’t worry, I’ll always protect you, (your name).” Ryoko stated as she pulled the (body type) girl close to her lean muscled body. Ryoko would always be there for (your name) because she was (your name)’s best and only friend. Ryoko wouldn’t let anything happen to her little bunny.
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     Jasper tried not to throw his desk across the room but he really wanted to. He has tried everything to make the timid (Your name) love him. He changed his hair style, started working out more, waxing off his unwanted body hair, and even offered her on dates. But Ryoko was in his way. His grip on his desk tightened as it began to frost over with a thin layer of ice. Jasper exhaled as the air in his office slowly began to drop in temperature. 
    To think his own partner in crime was in an intimate relationship with the cute girl drove him up the wall. (Your name) deserves the absolute best and that’s exactly what he would be. (Your name) could not possibly be gay, she was too cute to be!
    (Your name) was the only one to not see him as a piece of meat and didn’t throw herself at him. She didn’t try anything to make him uncomfortable and respected his space and he absolutely loved it. (Your name) was so attentive to everything he talked about and she was so gentle.
    Jasper remembered the time her hand grazed his hand when he dropped his papers in the elevator as she helped him collect all of his belongings. Her hands were so small and soft compared to his, Jasper swore his heart stopped. Jasper wondered if all of her was soft. He wondered if she thought of him the same way he thought of her. Jasper relaxed as the temperature and ice began to slowly dissipate as his fingers touched his lips as he released a sigh as he began to give into his delusions.
    Did (your name) think of his lips touching her skin so lightly that it felt as if a butterfly landed on each spot his lips would touch? Did she think of Jasper laying beside her at night, holding her close as he whispered sweet nothings into her ear? Did (your name) want to ever date him?
     Jasper clutched his chest as he felt his cheeks flush pink. He loved her so much. He still had so much to learn about her.
   A quiet knock brought Jasper out of his musings as he cleared his throat and opened his office door, revealing his favorite reporter, a few of her (hair color) hairs out of place as she had a somewhat frazzled appearance. Did she run up the stairs to see him? Did she really want to see him that badly? Oh she was just so cute. Would she look like that if he made love to her?
    “Oh, you’re here so quickly (Your name)! I was starting to think you weren’t going to come.” Jasper immediately pulled a chair out for her to sit down as he went over to get her a glass of water from the pitcher. 
    “O-oh. I didn’t want to disappoint you. Shall we go over my article I wrote?”
    “Here drink some water, you look rather frazzled.” Jasper handed her the glass as she shyly took it from him, her fingers brushing his as Jasper tried not to make any inappropriate noises.
    “Oh the elevator took too long so I decided to take the stairs. I am so sorry for my appearance-“
    “It’s okay. I’m just happy to see you.” Just like she was happy to see him, or at least Jasper believed so. Why else would she run up the stairs to get to his office? To get her daily cardio? No, to see him, duh.
    “Shall we begin?” Jasper did not listen to a single word she said, his icy blue eyes were too focused on her plump lips and wondering what they’d feel like against his as he pressed her against the wall and-
     “Mister Jones?” Jasper snapped out of his musings as his blue eyes met (eye color) orbs. “It’s starting to get really cold in here.”
   Jasper immediately realized he accidentally used his powers underneath his desk as his whole face flushed red.
    “W-would you like a jacket? I’m sorry, I didn’t notice.”
    “Oh um, thanks.” Jasper pulled his jacket off his chair as he wrapped it around (your name)’s shoulder’s, his breath hitching as her cheeks flushed slightly as she bundled into his warm oversized jacket.
     Jasper didn’t think she could get any cuter but here she was... in his jacket. Oh lord he was trying so hard not to kiss her right there and then. To not bend her over his desk and tear off her clothes and make the whole department know his name-
     “Thank you, Mister Jones.” Jasper placed his hand over his face as his whole face turned a bright red. Oh lord he was going to catch a case at this point. “I’m done with my report, I’ll leave the article here so you can go over it. Thank you for your time, here’s your jacket back-“
    “Thank you, (your name). Have a good one!” As soon as she left his office and shut the thick mahogany doors, he fell to his knees as he grabbed his jacked and inhaled greedily. Oh lord it smelled like her. (Your name) smelled like roses and vanilla. She was just so sweet and he swore he’d make that sweet girl all his. Jasper swore on his life.
    But first, he was going to add this jacket to his collection. Jasper stood up as he opened up his bottom desk drawer with his key, revealing numerous miscellaneous items that wouldn’t mean much to anyone but they meant the world to him. 
    There were numerous photos of his beloved darling sleeping and an old toothbrush. As well as a tissue, a spoon, and a chapstick he swiped off her desk when she was out and about. And although Jasper hates to admit it, he used the chapstick on rough days to satiate his needs.
   He carefully folded up his jacket and placed it in the drawer as he locked his treasure chest. Jasper then reclined back in his desk chair as he smiled. Jasper couldn’t wait to see her tomorrow across a table from him eating. 
   Maybe this time he’ll get an even better Momento of her.
    Jasper was unaware of the drone outside the complex snapping pictures of his entire interaction as the drone quickly took off, to bring the video evidence to its creator.
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    (Your name) strolled through the bustling city as she smiled. She was finally off from work so she could have some time to herself. 
     As the reporter walked down the street, she heard the screams of the other civilians as people began to scatter around as dark storm clouds covered the skies. (Your name)’s eyes widened. Electra was here.
    She immediately began to flee until she felt arms wrap around her as she was pulled flush against a soft body.
    “Why are you running, little rabbit?” A familiar voice asked as (you’re name began to shake in fear. “You’re so very cute when you shiver. I wonder if you’d shake like that when I-” (Your name) turned a bright red at all the horribly dirty words that came out of the woman’s mouth behind her.
   (Your name) was quickly whipped around to face her captor as her (eye color) eyes took in a tall villainous with long silver hair and a black eye mask on as well as a tight black and violet jumpsuit with a long black cape. She looked so familiar...
    (Your name) didn’t have time to study the super villain before the villainous pulled her close and surrounded the two of them into an electrical barrier as a flaming hot (literally) heroine stood outside the barrier. 
    A lean heroine stood outside the barrier, her flaming hair standing straight up as a dragon mask covered her face and her red leotard had black plated armor in the form of scales armor all over it. 
    Mistress Dragon. (Your name) thought as the red haired heroine put her hands on her hips and glared at the villainous within the barrier.
    “Electra! Release that civilian!” The woman boomed in an intimidating voice that was more than likely edited with a voice changing device.
     “No chance, Mistress Dragon. Not when your little boy toy is running around as well.”
    And soon enough, a ring of ice formed around the entire barrier as a tall, muscular male with the mask of a white fox stood along side Mistress Dragon. His costume consisted of a tight navy blue jumpsuit with silver armor plating with patches of white fur on the shoulders and around the hands and feet. 
     “Sub-Zero, glad to see you’ve made it.” Electra laughed as she grabbed (your name) and placed her plump lips on her cheek. The barrier dissolved as the two heroes began to circle the villainess, preparing to take action against her. 
   “What is your scheme this time, Electra?” Mistress Dragon growled as smoke came out from the mouth of her mask.
    “I just wanted to warn you that I know both of your identities. All thanks to this cute little rabbit.” Electra cooed as she squished (your name)’s cheeks together. “Isn’t she just precious?”
    “Electra, leave her out of this-“ Sub-Zero tried to coax the silver haired villain as the villain began to laugh darkly. 
   “No.” Electra then grabbed (your name) bridal style as she soared into the air, lavender lightning striking the ground as she rose higher and higher, (Your name) screaming as she held onto Electra tightly out of fear of falling.
    Mistress Dragon immediately shifting into a large black oriental Dragon with a fiery red mane and a peculiar septum ring as she swiftly followed behind. Electra cursing under her breath as the dragon quickly caught up to her. She’d have to ditch her prize and come back another time...
    “Let her go!”
   “Okay.” And before (your name) knew it, she was falling through the sky, plummeting to her death. Her scream piercing the air as tears fell from her eyes. She didn’t want to die, not yet at least.
    Before she could even blink, Mistress Dragon shifted and scooped her into her arms as she quickly brought the reporter into her chest, Sub-Zero making a slide for the two to slide down as they made it back to the ground safely. (Your name)’s face flushing red as she studied the masked face of her savior.
    “Are you Alright-“ (Your name) pulled Mistress Dragon close as she began to cry.
    “Thank you. Thank you so much.” (Your name) sobbed as the heroine pulled her into a hug. “How can I ever repay you-“
    “How about a kiss?” Mistress Dragon asked as Sub-Zero’s hands began to shake on the sidelines.
    “Um s-sorry. I don’t think I can.” (Your name) stayed as she began to twiddle her thumbs together nervously. “I have a crush on someone already.”
   “Oh? Well, I respect that.” Mistress Dragon then pulled away as Sub-Zero stepped in.
    “May I escort you home?” Sub-Zero asked as (your name) gulped.
    “S-sure-“
    “Sub-Zero, I think we both need to leave the little lady alone. We could always send a ride to come get her.”
    “How about you head into your place of work and ask one of your coworkers for a ride?” Sub-Zero asked the girl as he smiled gently at her.
    “I’m sure it’ll be easy to do, you’re quite cute after all.” Miss dragon told the reporter as (your name) nodded and headed back into work. The two heroes immediately leaving the scene before paparazzi could show up.
     “Do you need a ride?” (Your name) smiled as her eyes met familiar onyx orbs of her best friend.
    “Yes please.”
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.
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   “(Your name)!” The poor reporter almost cried when Jasper picked her up into a tight hug and twirled her as he sighed dramatically. “I’m so happy you’re okay! You were all over the news! Are you okay-“
    “Oh Jesus, leave the poor girl alone.” Ryoko interrupted as Jasper places (your name) down gently.
   “Sorry Miss Abo.” Jasper replied as Ryoko quickly began to fix (your name)’s hair and set it back into place as the reporter puffed her cheeks out.
    “Please stop touching me you two, I’m okay-“
    “(Your name), you poor little girl.” (Your name) was (height) y’all, but go off Ryoko. “We both just worry about you. Mostly me though-“
    “No I worry more. I was so scared you’d call off and I wouldn’t be able to give you an awesome assignment.”
    “Awesome assignment?”
   “Yes, I’m giving you an assignment to write an article on super heroes. I published your article on Miss Spark in the paper and everyone loved it. So I’m giving you a bigger assignment and this time you will be on the biggest magazine here. How would you like to be the main article in Times magazine?”
  (Your name) smiled as Jasper handed her the assignment. It was information on the cities top two heroes.
    “I need you to write an article on Sub-Zero and Mistress Dragon.  And lucky for you, you encountered the two of them recently.”
    “Thank you so much, Mister Jones.” (Your name) grasped Jasper’s hand as his whole face turned pink.As soon as she released his hand, he turned and coughed into his hand. Excusing himself to the restroom as he left Ryoko and (Your name) in (your name)’s tiny office.
    “I’m seriously glad you’re okay. I honestly thought you were going to take some time off. But I’m happy you’re here. It’s good to have you back.” Ryoko smacked her shoulder playfully as (your name) smiled. 
    This day was giving (your name) so much confidence. Maybe she’d finally call Miss Spark and accept her dinner date?
   (Your name) went over to her black bag, frowning as she noticed her bunny key chain was missing. She shrugged it off, she could always purchase another one.
    (Your name) reached into the middle pocket of her bag and pulled out a black card with a domino on the top of it. She released a shaky breath as she slowly dialed the number on the phone. Her (skin color) skin thumb hesitated before she pushed call, sealing her fate.
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    (Your name) nervously sat at a table for two at a high end restaurant as she nervously sipped on a glass of bubbly white moscato. She really hoped Aria would show up.
    (Your name) glanced around the restaurant until (eye color) met violet orbs. (Your name)’s mouth hung open as she took in Aria’s elegant outfit. Aria wore a long, elegant violet dress that had diamonds sewn into it. A long, white shawl wrapped around her to hide her cleavage from wandering eyes as the tall curvaceous woman strut her way over to (your name). Her white hair was up in an elegant bun with a few silvery strands loose around her face. If (your name) didn’t know any better than Aria would be the African American Jessica Rabbit.
    “Were you waiting long?” Aria asked as she took a seat in from of the (body type) girl. Aria’s dark chocolate skinned hand touching (your name)’s lightly as the girl almost by turned into a puddle of goo. 
    “N-no.” (Your name) stuttered as her cheeks flushed pink. “I was kind of just scared that you weren’t going to show.”
   “Well of course I would, little bunny. I asked you to dinner and I didn’t expect you to call me.” The woman reached into her silver clutch and pulled out a familiar rabbit keychain. “You remind me of one of these.”
    The two of them laughed as they ordered their food and drank numerous glasses of fancy wine. And before (your name) knew it, she was drunk. Very, very drunk. And Aria was nice enough to help her into her limo.
   “I think we should call it a night, bunny. You can’t even keep your head up straight.” Aria chuckled as (your name) just gave her a goofy grin as (your name) struggled to get into the limo.
    “I really like you, Aria.” (Your name) replied as she began to giggle. “I want to go out again sometime-“
    Aria pulled (your name) in for a steamy kiss as (your name) tried to kiss back to the best of her ability. Their tongue moving in sync as Aria pulled (your name) onto her lap and let her hands grab (your name)’s plump read in her hands.
    “Let’s go back to my place, shall we?” (Your name) could only smile as Aria shut the partition as they continued their steamy make out session. Thank god the windows of the limo were tinted.
.
.
.
    (Your name) woke up with a pounding headache and completely bare in a violet, silk sheeted canopy bed. The bare form of Aria tangled in the sheets with her.
    Aria soon stirred, her violet eyes fluttering open as the silver haired woman pulled (your name) closer to her. Her plump lips kissing the exposed skin on (your name)’s neck.
    “I didn’t take you for a vixen in the sheets. You were so cute last night.” Aria cooed as (your name) flushes red. “But all those cute hickies on your shoulders are marks that you’re mine.
  “Aria-“
    “(Your name), I want you to be my girlfriend.” (Your name) smiled as she kissed Aria again. 
    “Let’s get to know each other better first and then we can be girlfriends. I need a little more time.” Aria nodded as she kissed (your name) on the forehead. 
    “I understand. I’ll wait for you.”
.
.
.
     A few months had gone by since that night with Aria. And (your name) and Aria were  officially dating. It was such a surprise to everyone. And everyone was happy for her... except Jasper and Ryoko.
    (Your name) could tell Ryoko wasn’t happy about her new relationship status due to how forced her smiles  when she occasionally caught glimpses of the purple marks on her neck she didn’t cover up well enough, but Jasper was a completely different level of upset...
    “(Your name), I brought you a bouquet of red roses!” Jasper proclaimed as the dark bags under his eyes became more prominent as time went on. He didn’t look like he was sleeping well. His skin was paler than normal and his hands were shaky as he held up the bouquet. “They’re almost as beautiful  as you-“
   “Jasper, I’m sorry. I’m in a happy relationship. I cannot accept your gift.” The roses were gently placed into her lap as Jasper’s whole body began to shake as he forced a smile.
     “A woman can’t be with another woman. Y-you’re just confused is all. You’ll come around eventually.” He gave an uneasy laugh before he clutched his hair in his hands. His pale blue eyes widening as a demented smile made its way onto his face. Jasper crouched down on the floor, his hands holding his face while the smile widened even more. The deranged male beginning to ramble to himself. “You have to... you have to love me or I’ll go even more mad...” Jasper whispered to himself while (your name) quickly scurried over to him and wrapped an arm over his shoulders. The young reporter trying to gain his attention.
    “I-I’m sorry, Mister Jones. I just don’t return your feelings and I don’t know if I ever will-“
  “One day...”
   “Excuse me?” (Your name) asked, raising a brow at him. Jasper whipped his head up, revealing his terrifying smile to her, flashing his pearly white teeth at her.
     “You will one day. I swear on it.” Jasper chuckled, pulling her close to him and holding her flush against his chest. He then stood up to his full height, practically picking the girl off the floor while he burrowed his head into (your name)’s hair. Jasper greedily inhaling her scent with the same crazed smile. She still smelled so sweet. Ice began to slowly creep onto (your name)’s jacket as (your name) felt a sudden chill up her spine. Why was she so cold? “You’ll walk down the aisle with me and then you’ll bear my children-“
   “Woah, let the little lady go please.” Ryoko separated the two as her eyes widened in shock as Jasper was basically almost revealed his powers in front of everyone. Ryoko immediately stepping in before Jasper could lose his job. “Let’s go to your office and talk, okay? You’re scaring her.”
    “I-I’m sorry.” Jasper immediately released (your name), the scared look in her eye making his heart clench as he tried not to have a meltdown. “I don’t know what came over me I-“
     (Your name) fled as he tried not to cry out her name as Ryoko led him to his office. Ryoko immediately kicking the door shut behind the two of them as she shoved him roughly into the floor.
    “You’re such an idiot. You almost blew your cover in front of everyone!” Ryoko whisper shouted at him as she kicked him in the leg roughly. “Why can’t you just keep it in your pants?!”
    “I’m in love with her! You should know! You look at her the same way I do when you think no one’s looking-“ Jasper’s head was suddenly thrown to the side as Ryoko struck him. Ryoko’s dark bangs covering her eyes as she scowled in disgust.
    “Don’t ever compare me to you. You’re disgusting-“
    “Why don’t we work together for her affections?!” Jasper shouted as Ryoko’s head snapped up. Her Onyx eyes scanning Jasper’s for any sign of him joking as she began to think. She could tell Jasper was serious for once.
    “Do you think we could do it? I mean I don’t know how I feel about sharing but do you think she’d be okay with it?”
    “What do you mean? We shouldn’t give her a choice, she’d be safe with us. We’re heroes for god’s sake-“
    “I know we are but... I want her to be happy...” Ryoko replied as she rubbed her arm nervously, her dark eyes downcast as she began to fidget under Jasper’s intense gaze. “I don’t want to force her into anything with us. It wouldn’t be the same-“
   “I know but do you really think Electra would let her go? I mean seriously? Miss Spark isn’t that good at keeping her identity hidden. I’m amazed (your name) hasn’t caught on-“
    “(Your name) is oblivious to all of us having powers. I just don’t want to scare her away. She means so much to me. I’m alright with watching her be happy with someone else, unlike you. So long as she doesn’t get hurt.”
    Jasper hummed as he glared at the floor.
    “So I’m taking it as a no until something happens to her?” Jasper asked as his ice colored eyes glazed over with some hidden emotion. 
    “Yes.” Ryoko replied as she opened the door. “Good luck, Jasper.” She then left the room as Jasper stood up headed to his desk, he hunched over his desk as he placed his palms flat on the desk. The room’s temperature dropping in temperature as ice began to cover the entire desk.
  Jasper’s breathing became ragged as he tried to calm down his rage. His fists clenching to the point that his fingernails began to draw blood in their wake. 
   He then screamed in frustration as he slammed his fist into the desk, creating a large crack on the wooden surface as he began to take deep breaths to calm himself down.
    “She’ll be mine... I swear to god.”
.
.
.
    Ryoko sat in her small apartment as she pulled out a cushion and a lighter and carried it to a spare closet in her room.
     She then lit the small vanilla scented candles to illuminate the object of her desires as she smiled. Her onyx eyes never leaving the (eye color) orbs of her love.
     A large portrait of (your name) sat in the center of the wall as well as pictures of the two of them together. Pictures of every single selfie or pose they took while they were out and about. They had been so close for years, and (your name) didn’t even understand the depth of Ryoko’s feelings for (your name). Ryoko should’ve been more assertive and maybe (your name) would’ve become her girlfriend... Ryoko bowed her head as she began to concentrate on her goal.
     “Patience is key... Electra will mess up soon... and then I’ll be there to catch you.” Ryoko face twisted into a smile that seemed unnatural for her petite face as she leaned forward. Ryoko ran her pale hands gently across the portrait as she sighed longingly. “I love you, (your name).”
.
.
.
   “Aria!” (Your name) exclaimed as she entered her lover’s office, the silver haired woman shooting up from her desk as a smile made its way to her face.
  “(Your name)!” Elegant black heels came running towards the other woman as Aria swooped (your name) into her strong arms. “How was work?”
    “It was okay. Jasper was acting strange again and Ryoko has been so distant... I miss my best friend.” Aria’s eyes darkened as she pulled (your name) into her arms and furrowed her brow. Why were those two still bothering her lover)? Did those two imbeciles not understand that (Your name) belonged to her? Maybe she’d have to make her move now before those pesky heroes snatched her up...
    “Aria, what’s wrong? Is something bothering you, baby?” Aria tried her best not to melt into a puddle at (your name)’s cute nickname for her.
    “I think we should have some dinner at my place tonight. Does wine sound good?” Aria asked as (your name) nodded excitedly, unaware of Aria’s true intentions.
    “I’ll eat or drink anything as long as it’s with you!” (Your name) beamed as Aria kisses her forehead tenderly, a frown forming on her face as (your name) buried her face into Aria’s shoulder.
    “I’m so sorry...” Aria whispered almost inaudibly as she kissed (your name)’s forehead again. She hoped to god (your name) would forgive her...
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.  
   Drip. Drop. Clink. Clank.
   (Your name) slowly stirred awake as she heard the sound of a faucet dripping. Her (eye color) eyes scanning her unfamiliar surroundings. Where was she? This wasn’t Aria’s house.
    “I’m so sorry, my little rabbit.” Aria replied as (your name) searched around for her lover.
    “Aria? What’s going on? Where am I?” (Your name) tried to stand up to find her lover but was stopped by the chain attached to her ankle. “Why am I chained up-“
    “(Your name), I’m Electra.” Aria’s voice rung out in the dark as (your name) gasped.
    “Y-you’re joking right? There’s no way-“ a burst of violet electricity shot across the room, activating the lights as Aria stood in the entrance of the dark, windowless room.
    “We’re in my secret layer.” Aria replied as her violet eyes began to tear up. “The heroes are after you and I’m just so scared something bad will happen to you. I don’t want you to be caught in the crossfire-“
   “Why would they be after me-“
  “They’re your coworkers (your name). Jasper and Ryoko are Sub-Zero and Mistress Dragon.” The gears began to turn in (your name)’s head as she tried it process what Aria as saying. How could she not have noticed the signs? The septum ring on the dragon? The coldness she’d always feel around Jasper? It all made sense...
    “But why me?” (Your name) asked as Aria frowned.
    “You’re too innocent and way too sweet.” Aria replied as her smooth hands grasped (your name)’s face and kisses her forehead. “I have to defeat them and then I’ll let you go.”
    “Aria, please don’t leave me like this! Please-“ The room soon became pitch black as the door was shut to the room. (Your name)’s sobs could be heard throughout the lair as her heart broke at her lover’s betrayal.
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.
   (Your name had no idea how long she was trapped in that room without seeing Aria. Hours? Days? Weeks? She didn’t know at all.
   Creak! Slam!
   (Your name)’s head whipped up from the sound of the doorbell opening. Her smile widening as she gazed expectantly at the door. A figure standing in the center of it as (you’re name) began to sob, tears filling her vision.
    “Aria-“ The figure soon feel to the ground as two figures walked in. (Eye color) eyes widening in horror as she scooted herself close to the wall.
    “W-Who are-“
  “I knew we’d find you. It took us a week to get her to tell us where you were. We were so worried when you didn’t come to work.” A familiar voice rung out at she felt a pair of hands on her cheeks. (Eye color) eyes meeting onyx as she gasped.
    “Ryoko-“
    “(Your name)! Don’t forget about me.” Jasper cooed as he grabbed her free hand and placed a gentle kiss on it. “Oh my poor darling, you’re so skinny. I promise we’ll feed you and we’ll both treat you so very well-“
      “What are you talking about?”
    “Oh silly little rabbit.” Jasper chuckled as his icy blue eyes began to glow. “You belong to us now.”
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    “We bring to you breaking news, it turns out Aria Spark of Domino Electric was the dastardly villainess who plagued our city for so long! She is finally captured and placed in the new Super Prison the Hero Association has established far away from here. I also bring to you news that Sub-Zero and Mistress Dragon have officially retired. Who do you think the next rising hero will be of these five-“
    Tears filled (your name)’s eyes as Jasper and Ryoko sat on either side of her, both of their hands lovingly rubbing her large, swollen tummy as they both smiled.
    “I think our baby will be the next rising superhero. What do you think darling?” Jasper cooed as he kissed (your name)’s cheek as tears fell down her cheek.
    “My baby is next! I can’t wait to see you swollen with my little baby dragon. I was able to get a sperm donation from my brother so we can do invitro-fertilization.” Ryoko fondly cooed as she kisses (your name)’s cheek. 
   In the end, the heroes and villains weren’t so different between each other in her story. While her beloved villain would spend the rest of her life rotting behind bars...
  Or was she?
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dirtyvulture · 8 months
Text
Natasha Romanoff x Male!Reader
18+ only, read at your own risk
Requested by anon: Um *clears throat* Hello, I’m new in discovering your fics, and you’re the first writer I find who writes for male reader x Natasha Romanoff! I’ve only ever seen writers write for only female reader- BUT I UNDERSTAND REALLY, Natasha displayed major lesbian vibes and etc, and I fully support it really. But uh, as a male myself, and having Natasha as my favorite MCU character, it’s been rare finding fics for male reader, but again I’m not complaining, I fully support writers writing female writers!
Sorry I’m rambling, I just wanted to request, if you’re okay with it, something with male reader x Natasha with Father’s Day as the theme? Perhaps maybe Nat surprises reader that they’re gonna have a baby and all that? Of course there needs to be smut involved, I’ve read all your fics and clearly smut is a must have for the fic! Perhaps some daddy kink to throw in the mix?
And again, if it’s not on the books, I’ll understand!
AN: Enjoy, anon!
Natasha stares down at the little plastic stick in her trembling hands, blinking rapidly to make sure she’s not seeing blurred. There are two lines on the little window, matching the symbol for “Pregnant.”
She had never thought this could be possible, given what she had thought had happened in the Red Room, but maybe that hadn’t been an entirely honest truth--not that she was complaining. 
She thinks about how she’s going to tell you, knowing how much you always wanted to be a father, but had accepted that biologically having children with her might have been a huge challenge. Maybe it wasn’t as difficult as either of you thought after all.
Natasha knows she can barely keep the news hidden for long, so she wraps the pregnancy test up carefully and hides it. She goes to make dinner before you come home, deciding to cook your favorite meal instead of her planned one.
The smell of sizzling steak greets you the moment you open the front door, and you’re shocked for a moment because Natasha had texted you that she was going to make spaghetti and meatballs instead. Not that you’re upset, you’re always grateful when she cooks for you. But steak was more of a special occasion kind of meal, and your personal favorite.
“Nat honey? I’m home,” you call out, dropping your work bag at the door and slipping off your shoes.
“In the kitchen!”
You walk through the living room and find your girlfriend standing at the stove, moving an impressively thick cut of meat from cast-iron pan to a plate.   
“That looks really good, babe,” you say, greeting her with a kiss before going to help set the rest of the table.
“I made a salad, it’s in the fridge if you can get that out.”
“Sure.” You’re tempted to ask the occasion, but you wait. You grab the big glass bowl of salad and place it on the table. Natasha brings over two plates, one steak almost twice the size of the other, and puts the bigger one down in front of you. 
“Thanks for cooking, Nat. I’m starving,” you say, eagerly grabbing your fork and knife and carving into the meat. Natasha clears her throat, offering you the salad bowl and you relent, making sure to take a healthy portion of vegetables to balance out the pure protein on your plate. 
The meal is finished in relative silence--you would’ve struck up more conversation with her, but were too busy scarfing down your steak. It’s only when the last piece is gone that you sit back, patting your belly and smiling at her.
“That was amazing, Nat. What was the occasion?” you finally ask.
Natasha bounces in her seat, as if she had been waiting the whole time for you to ask. “You’re not gonna believe it, babe,” she says, getting up and grabbing something from behind the sink. She holds it out to you, wrapped in a napkin.
Slowly, you unravel it, surprised to see that it’s a pregnancy test, but even more surprised when you see that it’s showing a positive result.
“Is this...Is this yours?” you ask, not realizing how stupid the question is until it comes out of your mouth.
“Yes!” Natasha squeals, throwing herself at you and wrapping her arms around your waist tightly. 
“Oh my God.” You squeeze her back, trying to comprehend the meaning of the pregnancy test. You can’t believe it. Natasha had told you she couldn’t get pregnant, so you had never bothered to use protection with her, but that wasn’t to say you didn’t want to be or were not ready to become a father. It was one of the few dreams you had carried with you your whole life, and while you had been a little sad about Natasha’s situation, she was still open to adoption and you knew you didn’t need to be biologically related to your child to be a good father.
“I can’t believe it, Nat,” you say, pressing a kiss to her head.
“You’re gonna be a daddy. My daddy.”
The word makes your head spin, and also causes a tightening at the front of your pants. You look down at yourself, slightly embarrassed, and Natasha caresses your growing bulge, causing your hips to jerk forward at the contact. 
“Bedroom?” is all you can get out of your mouth before she takes your hand and drags you out of the kitchen. Both of you make quick work of your clothes and you join your girlfriend on the bed, your hands running along her sides with a soft reverence. 
“I love you so much, Nat,” you say, kissing her. “You’re gonna be the best mother to our child.”
“Our child,” she repeats, tears glistening in the corners of her eyes. You wipe them away and press your forehead to hers, not saying anything for a moment as your hand goes down and rests on her flat belly. Of course, it’s too early for her to show or for you to feel anything, but you still cannot wrap your head around the idea that you and Natasha are finally going to have a child together. 
Natasha scratches up and down your back, digging her nails impatiently into your shoulder blades. You rock your hips against hers, your cock hardening faster when it rubs against the insides of her thighs. 
“I want you, Daddy,” Natasha pleads, and this new use of the term has all the blood rushing down to your cock so fast you think you might pass out. 
“You can have me, Nat,” you insist, leaning back to guide your tip to her entrance. You push into her gently, still wanting to be gentle with her even more than before, and her velvet walls wrap around your member with a familiar warmth. “Fuck,” you mutter, rolling your hips in short strokes, resisting the urge to pound into her without abandon. 
“More,” Natasha demands, her hands curving around the back of your thighs and trying to pull you into her. “You don’t have to be careful with me,” she says, but you can’t imagine being rough with her anymore. 
But the pulsing and squeezing around your cock overtakes your willpower and Natasha moans loudly as you finally begin slamming into her, driving your cock deep into her with each stroke. 
“Yes, just like that, Daddy,” she whines, holding onto her knees to keep them as wide as possible. You watch with drool on your lips as your cock thrusts in and out of her soaking pussy. Your entire body begins to tremble as you feel yourself ready to finish. 
“N-Nat, I’m gonna...I’m gonna...” you pant.
“Finish in me,” Natasha says, and the reminder that the thought that you don’t have to pull out because she’s already pregnant causes you to erupt instantly. Hot ropes of cum pulse out of your cock, and the effort, combined with the heavy meal you just had, causes you to almost collapse on top of Natasha. You wrap your arms around her, dropping your head onto her chest as she strokes your hair softly. 
“I’m so happy you’re the one I get to start a family with,” is the last thing you hear Natasha say before you fall asleep.
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AN: Please like, reblog, and comment! Follow for more content. 🥰
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gatheringbones · 1 year
Text
[“Why not identify as bi? That’s a complicated question. For a while, I thought I was simply being biphobic. There’s a lot of that going around in the gay community. Most of us had to struggle so hard to be exclusively homosexual that we resent people who don’t make a similar commitment. A self-identified bisexual is saying, ‘Men and women are of equal impor- tance to me.’ That’s simply not true of me. I’m a Kinsey Five, and when I turn on to a man it’s because he shares some aspect of my sexuality (like S/M or fisting) that turns me on despite his biological sex.
There’s yet another twist. I have eroticized queerness, gayness, homo- sexuality – in men and women. The leatherman and the drag queen are sexy to me, along with the diesel dyke with greased-back hair, and the femme stalking across the bar in her miniskirt and high-heeled shoes. I’m a fag hag.
The gay community’s attitude toward fag hags and dyke daddies has been pretty nasty and unkind. Fag hags are supposed to be frustrated, traditionally feminine, heterosexual women who never have sex with their handsome, slightly effeminate escorts – but desperately want to. Consequently, their nails tend to be long and sharp, and their lipstick runs to the bloodier shades of carmine. And They Drink. Dyke daddies are supposed to be beer-bellied rednecks who hang out at lesbian bars to sexually harass the female patrons. The nicer ones are suckers who get taken for drinks or loans that will never be repaid.
These stereotypes don’t do justice to the complete range of modern faghaggotry and dyke daddydom. Today fag hags and dyke daddies are as likely to be gay themselves as the objects of their admiration.
I call myself a fag hag because sex with men outside the context of the gay community doesn’t interest me at all. In a funny way, when two gay people of opposite sexes make it, it’s still gay sex. No heterosexual couple brings the same experiences and attitudes to bed that we do. These generalizations aren’t perfectly true, but more often than straight sex, gay sex assumes that the use of hands or the mouth is as important as genital-to-genital contact. Penetration is not assumed to be the only goal of a sexual encounter. When penetration does happen, dildos and fingers are as acceptable as (maybe even preferable to) cocks. During gay sex, more often than during straight sex, people think about things like lubrication and ‘fit’. There’s no such thing as ‘foreplay’. There’s good sex, which includes lots of touching, and there’s bad sex, which is nonsensual. Sex roles are more flexible, so nobody is automatically on the top or the bottom. There’s no stigma attached to masturbation, and gay people are much more accepting of porn, fantasies, and fetishes.
And, most importantly, there is no intention to ‘cure’ anybody. I know that a gay man who has sex with me is making an exception and that he’s still gay after we come and clean up. In return I can make an exception for him because I know he isn’t trying to convert me to heterosexuality.
I have no way of knowing how many lesbians and gay men are less than exclusively homosexual. But I do know I’m not the only one. Our actual behaviour (as opposed to the ideology that says homosexuality means being sexual only with members of the same sex) leads me to ask questions about the nature of sexual orientation, how people (especially gay people) define it, and how they choose to let those definitions control and limit their lives.
During one of our interminable discussions in Samois about whether or not to keep the group open to bi women, Gayle Rubin pointed out that a new, movement-oriented definition of lesbianism was in conflict with an older, bar-oriented definition. Membership in the old gay culture consisted of managing to locate a gay bar and making a place for yourself in bar society. Even today, nobody in a bar asks you how long you’ve been celibate with half the human race before they will check your coat and take your order for a drink. But in the movement, people insist on a kind of purity that has little to do with affection, lust, or even political commitment. Gayness becomes a state of sexual grace, like virginity. A fanatical insistence on one hundred percent exclusive, same-sex behaviour often sounds to me like superstitious fear of contamination or pollution. Gayness that has more to do with abhorrence for the other sex than with an appreciation of your own sex degenerates into a rabid and destructive separatism.”]
pat califa, public sex: the culture of radical sex, 1994, 2000
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decolonize-the-left · 20 days
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Hey this might be a weird question but you seem to know a lot about the strategies TERFs use and what they're hiding, so I just wanted to ask and you don't have to answer.
Why do so many TERFs have this weird hostility towards bi and ace people? I don't think either of those identities have anything to do with being trans but I've seen so many TERFs who are also biphobic and/or aphobic. My gut instinct was that there was some large overlap between bi/ace people and trans people, but then I've found TERFs give shit to cis bis and aces so I'm not sure if it's that or some other reason. I'm not trans myself but I want to be able to recognize TERF rhetoric to be a better ally to trans people.
A couple reasons.
First one is that hating bis/aces is at the entrance of the TERF pipeline; they utilize this 'soft bigotry' to radicalize LGBTs and it usually looks like this:
To recruit queer ppl first they try to get us to stop considering aces as Oppressed. That's how it starts. They're aren't Doing anything so how can they be oppressed? They don't know what it's like to marginalized....how could they? They're just stealing the spotlight of Actually oppressed ppl
And once you accept that they turn to bisexuals. Who are only half gay, you know? And most of them date men anyway or end up marrying men so like? How the hell would they know what it's like to literally Live oppression 24/7? Do we we really want them to have a voice and speak for those of us that don't have an escape from our oppression?
This works because on the surface TERFS/Radfems appear to care about women and gender equality, which a lot of queer people obviously support. But they exploit those of us that don't know enough about feminism's intersectional (and very gay) history to identify them as bad actors.
From here the person they've targeted will either a- accept this and likewise will eventually also accept that trans oppression isnt real either (fulfilling the TERF's actual goal of recruitment) OR b- they'll realize they've been manipulated and try to deconstruct.
Secondly:
TERFs are white supremacist and their beliefs are founded white supremacist ideology and outdated scientific theories that Support white supremacist rhetoric.
It's called gender-essentialism which is a branch of bio-essentialism which is the belief that the biological body you have has inherent skills and abilities. Racists have used this to deny Black humanity just as TERFs use it to deny the existence of gender diversity.
But nobody is inherently weaker because of a uterus, nor are they bad drivers just because they have a uterus. All women are not good mothers just because they are women. Men are not all abusers just because they are men.
TERFs would have you swallow these beliefs; they're vital to maintaining the Core TERF Value that that trans people aren't Real and people with uteri are always helpless victims to be defended against evil men.
And as white supremacists their goal is to disrupt and destroy minority communities so that we are too divided to unify against legal attacks. TERFs do this from the inside out by putting bis/aces in a different category from the other queers while disguising their bigotry as feminist. They get us to voluntarily undermine and destroy our own movement this way by causing intercommunity "bi/ace discourse" that makes bis/aces out to be an enemy of "real" oppressed people (like transphobic lesbians for example)
Thirdly:
Lots of queer people are feminists which makes us easy targets and that's why they focus on the queer community. Additionally, the queer community has a history of being a threat to the white supremacist establishment so dividing us is vital to their goal of eventually wiping out anyone who isnt cis, straight, white, neurotypical, and able bodied
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“A butch without Metal” 
The dress code was hard on Gayle, whom the Lesbian-Feminists labeled a “female impersonator” because of her polished nails and make-up. Gayle said she wanted nothing to do with a woman’s “liberation” movement that bound her.  My own chains had become something of a problem. Doing reconnaissance on my favorite chain-link black leather boots, Radical Rita Right On had advised me, “you cant expect to retain a position of leadership with male-identified chain on your shoes.” My dark night of butchdom came around one evening as, with pliers, I pried off the gold chains slung around the ankles of my boots. Looking up at my bedroom wall, I read Judy Grahn’s poster poem, “a common woman is as common as a common loaf of bread.” Snapping the chain off my second boot, I almost cried and wondered if Grahn’s persona, Edward the Dyke, would have like my boots. I reached into the back of my closet, pulled a piece of black velvet out of my sex-toys box, and gently wrapped my chains around it.  Reshod, I stood in requiem in my boots. They were naked. I was stripped. I’d spent my life learning how to take my power through my feet. I’d drawn strength through the ground, through my boots. Felt the energy shoot out through my words, my hands. Now, a link in my butch power chain was severed. What did it mean to live as a butch without chains?  *** “I was sitting there, nervously slapping my hiking boots together, probably lost in a retrograde daze, when I heard a voice call out “Are there any butches in the room?” Subconsciously, I shot my hand up.  A hush swept the room and brought me into the present. I panicked. There was only one other woman in the room with her hand raised. “Damn!” I swore to myself, recalling the leader’s question as I felt my face turn as blue as denim. I’d been nailed by the androgynous imperative!  “This meeting is for women-identified women only. All butches must leave,”  the leader decreed. Having come to accept that all discussions in the women’s movement were collectively decided except when someone actually decided something, I stood and strode.  “This is politics. Don’t take it personally.” The older butch slammed the door in back of us as she put her arm around my shoulder. “They’ll change their minds tomorrow anyway. Come home with me. I know just what you need.” 
"Butches, Lies, and Feminism" by Jeanne Cordova, The Persistent Desire, (edited by Joan Nestle) (1992)
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bbybluemochi · 8 months
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bbybluemochi's F.A.Q. ✧・゚
Hi! Arun here! I thought that instead of answering your submissions one by one I’d gather all the frequently asked questions and answer them in a single post (this is a mix of art/OC/commissions related q's)!
Please note that I do read all your messages and I’m so grateful for every one of them!!!! I keep all your words really close to my heart, thank you for liking my art and loving my Ocs as much as I do, it means the world to me <3
What’s the name of your OCs?
They’re called Cotton (the blonde one) and Puppy (the dark haired one). The original idea for them was to make some silly wolf/bunny OCs (that’s why Cotton is called like that, it was supposed to be a joke about her tail…) but somewhere along the way they took over and became something completely different!
Is there a webcomic for your OCs?
Not currently! I don’t have the time or the skills (for now) but I’d love to give it a try in the future! 
I was wondering if you mind people using your OC art as character art/inspiration for DnD?Just games with friends that are for fun, nothing for commercial.
Go ahead! I find that really flattering.
Just out of curiosity, are any of your OCs bisexual?
Both Cotton and Puppy are lesbians. That’s what I feel comfortable drawing since I’m a lesbian myself. If I ever do draw a bisexual OC I’ll make sure to mention it! <3
I think you said Cotton was a dominatrix in a previous ask, but is Puppy on the opposite side of the spectrum or is she just glad to be there whichever way?
Puppy is very much a sub. They both switch (Puppy as a service top and bottom and Cotton as a top and power bottom), but the dom/sub dynamic never changes. Also I wanted to mention that these dynamics do not transcend outside of the bedroom that much, there’s more to them than their kinks but I do love to draw them deep in their submissive/dominant headspaces. 
Are one of the lesbian fairytale characters trans?
I didn’t design either of them with that in mind, but I’m super OK with people headcanoning them as trans!
May I use your art as a header/icon?
Of course! Remember to credit me tho~
Do you allow people to use your art freely?
I don’t allow reposts of my work (not that it matters that much, since almost all my art has been already reposted a million times ))): but I’d really appreciate it if you just shared my posts instead of reposting my art). As for phone backgrounds/wallpapers or stuff like that, yeah!
Do you have an instagram account or other social media, I would love to follow you there.
My main platform is twitter (same @), I post all my drawings there and I’m usually more active over there. Tumblr is kind of like an archive. I really like the community here but I find it easier to reply/interact with people on twitter! As for instagram, I do have an old art account (same @, again) but I haven’t posted in so long. I may start posting there soon if a certain rich guy decides to keep destroying the bird app tho. 
I’ve always thought about this… how do you think it’d look if the aesthetics/styles [of your OCs] were reversed?
I’ll have to explore that in a future drawing, I haven’t thought much about it! 
Do you write fics for your characters or has anyone else written fics about them?
Not yet! A couple of my friends have offered, tho! I usually like to stick to drawing because that’s what I do best, I don’t wanna subject anyone to my writing (it’s not very good,,,,). When I share some of my Ocs stories, I think it will be in comic format. 
What's the story behind your OCs? 
There are several, actually!! I like to put my OCs in different universes. As for now, there’s the Fairytale AU, the modern setting AU (this is the original one), and now the Werewolf/Vampire AU. I also did a drawing of them as spiderwoman and black cat but I don’t think that AU is gonna make a comeback for a while. I’m also planning a scifi AU but I’m not sure I’d be able to pull off that aesthetic with my current art style so I’m still working on it. 
The Fairytale AU is the one I’m working on most of the time. I wanna release a small artbook with their story + illustrations. That was my main goal for 2023 but life got in the way, so maybe,,, 2024??? *crosses fingers* 
Is your shop down? It’s saying that it’s not available.
I open my shop for 1-2 weeks every now and then, that’s why it’s closed most of the time! My plan is to open the store again in september, if i manage to finish all the merch in time! I’ll announce it on my twitter and tumblr account when I do. 
Would you ever share a tutorial on how you make your art?
Yes, of course! I’m not very good at explaining my drawing process but If it helps anyone I’d love to! Just let me know what part of the drawing process you’d like me to focus on, because If i try to make a full illustration tutorial it’s gonna be too long/difficult to follow. 
May I ask what brush do you use for your lineart?
I use a different brush almost every time I start an illustration, I’m not very consistent when it comes to that (I think it’s mainly because I haven’t found the perfect brush yet!). But let me know what illustration you’re curious about and I’ll try to remember which one I used!
Do you come up with poses off the top of your head or do you use some type of reference? I always struggle with them.
It depends on what I’m drawing! Some of my drawings are reinterpretations of paintings (I’m obsessed with pre-raphaelite painters and arthurian legend paintings in general), so in those cases I try to adapt the poses to my art style. Even If I’m trying to recreate an already existing painting I end up changing the poses/proportions a lot along the way to fit my personal taste/art style. 
Other times, I just sketch from imagination (this is more entertaining, I think, since looking at references can make the drawing process a bit tedious). If I find it hard to draw a certain pose/part of the body I will look up references on printerest, no shame in using pictures! If I still can’t find the pose I need I’ll just take a picture of myself (this is like, a last resort for me. I’m too lazy for this). 
My personal advice would be to use references for the pose and then tweaking the pose and trying to make it more personal 
I love the way the armor was designed and rendered! Can you share some tips on designing armor? 
Drawing armor is something I still struggle with most of the time. I think I’ve learned a lot in the past year (please don’t look at my armor drawings from 2022,,,,, sigh) but I still struggle to draw certain poses/angles. My advice is: don’t hesitate to draw non-functional armor!!! There’s always gonna be someone like “actually, that armour makes no sense :)” well !!!! it looks cool as hell so who caresssss !!!!! 
I think it’s more important for you to get comfortable drawing armor before you start beating yourself up for not drawing accurate ones. It takes a lot of practice (I’m still learning!!!), especially if you’re trying to draw historically accurate ones, so start by having fun, and then work your way up from there.
Most of the tips I can think about are really hard to explain without a visual example, so let me know if that’d be a tutorial you would be interested in and I’ll try to make one (I’m cringing a little just saying this bc I swear, my armor skills are so bad compared to some amazing artists out there………..).
Do you allow cosplays your OCs?
YES…. YES PLEASE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM BEGGING YOUUU ILL LOVE YOU FOREVER !!!!!! *rattles my cage* 
Do you allow fanart of your OCs?
Again,,, PLEASEEEEEEEEE !!! Just tag me so I don’t miss it and remember to give me credits if you do !!!!!!!!!!! :D
I was wondering if you use procreate , clip studio, or similar apps?
A mix of both. I used to draw on procreate only until I got a tablet and now I’m a clip studio user (csp sponsor me please), and now that’s all I use. I’m so used to drawing on PC now that I don’t think I’d be able to go back to procreate, but I still like that app a lot! All my drawings (even the ones I do on csp) always get retouched on procreate because I like some of the effects (*dreamy sigh* chromatic aberration filter,,, love u). 
I wanted to know if the marks Cotton has on her waist are tattoos or like a scar? 
Those are tats! Puppy is a tattoo artist ~~~ (I’m actually not sure if i’ll keep the waist tats on Cotton or if I’ll end up redesigning them,,,)
I was wondering if you take commissions?
Not right now. I also don’t have any plans of opening commissions any time soon! When I do, I’ll post a google forms on twitter and here on tumblr with the prices and type of comms I do. But there’s nothing scheduled. 
Even tho I'm not doing commissions atm, I’m currently looking for illustration jobs (specially book covers), so don’t hesitate to email me at [email protected]
That's all for now, thank you for reading!! I think I covered most of the questions, I'll make another q&a post in the future! Bye~~
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mogai-sunflowers · 9 months
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I hate it when I can't use a term that fits me very well because my brain (which processes everything with images) has an image of that term that doesn't look like me.
Like when I think of "transmasc" and all that pops into my head are skinny, white, American boys with very basic styles (which isn't a bad thing, it's just "too basic" for me personally), and of course, who look like cis boys and hate their bodies or prefer other body.
Meanwhile, I'm a POC, fat, Latine person, with questionable style (/joke), who CERTAINLY doesn't look like a cis boy and who really loves their body.
How could I use a term when my brain tells me that term doesn't fit people like me? I hate that. It's just me?
hey anon. i so wish I could reach through this screen and tell you that who you are is perfect and that you have every right to terminology that feels right, but as a fat trans person myself I know it takes more than kind words to deal with a pain like this, and one that’s even more intersectional than mine with your race and culture in the picture.
but that image you have in your head of what transmasc means, that is not the reality. that is what a small part of the community, of the world, WANTS you to think because they would rather throw other members of their community under the bus to gain faux acceptance for themselves, which is NOT your fault, but it’s also not everyone, there are so many people in this community who look like you or who truly stand with you. Transmasculine history is and never has been white or thin or any of that.
I’m going to link a few things you may want to look into if you’re wanting to start accepting your identity a little more, or just to see that you really ARENT alone. trans men/transmascs of color have been part of our history since the beginning. some of these things im sharing may be somewhat nsfw and have the word 'tranny' in them, just as a warning if that stuff bothers you.
newspaper clipping showing three trans men of color at a festival for a film they were part of, the first ever sexual/porn film by and for trans men of color
some pictures showing some fat trans men and trans men of color at marches are here
Bobby Cheung, the Asian and Pacific Islander trans man who won the Mr. Transgender San Francisco Pageant in 2004
trans men of color discuss intersectionality in a film they directed called "Trappings Of Transhood"
a photo showing the attendees of an FTM conference- you can see many non-white people in attendance
a photo of a group of Latino trans men who attended Tranny Fest in 1999
basic info on victor j mukasa, a Black transmasc lesbian active in East African LGBTQ rights scene
an older fat trans gentleman's photo and experience
a post on pauli murray (please look them up. his experience is much more nuanced than this post gives them credit for, and she was a wonderful intersectional activist)
various trans men (many fat and of color) who have contributed to our history
a conference of Indian trans men
the story of a trans man named Ben
one of my personal favorite transmasc historical figures, Amelio Robles Ávila
Zander Keig, the fat Latino trans man who won social worker of the year in 2020
a wonderful read on the intersectionality of transmasculinity and race
a digital archive of trans and queer Latino history
the Instagram page of a popular Black drag king
an article with interviews with various drag kings, including several of color
Florence Hines, the Black drag king once called the most excellent male impersonator in America
more drag kings many of color!
Drag Kings: An Archaeology of Spectacular Masculinities in Latino America
anon, it is so easy to feel like you are alone when your own history has been unfairly erased from you. but when I say “you are not alone”, I am not offering empty words of comfort- YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Transmasc and similar identity has truly NEVER actually been just for white people or thin people. You are WONDERFUL, and you are ABSOLUTELY a part of trans masculinity and transmasculine history is YOUR history and community as much as it is mine and others. You belong.
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prototypesteve · 2 months
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1994. A little story about my asexuality being misinterpreted (by a professional) as a disorder, and how that led to years of trouble.
Animation Description: An aromatic-asexual sense pride flag, onto which someone writes "So the thing is… I don't think I've ever had what my friends say would qualify as a real crush, and even after four years of college I still haven't started dating, but maybe the weirdest part is that I've never wanted to." Then, abruptly and violently black paint is spattered across the message and in white text someone superimposes the dismissive message "It's just low self esteem! – Expert opinion"
In 1994, I went to see a counsellor.
What happened was some friends and I were just talking about life. We were all in our early 20s, and so of course sex came up, and I confided that no, I hadn’t had it yet. In fact, I hadn’t even been on anything that would qualify as a date, yet.
I’ve always had good luck with friends. Instead of teasing me about it, one of them gave me the name of a counselling clinic, because they thought it might be worth checking that everything was okay, and there wasn’t something getting in the way. (It was the 1990s, and Generation X didn’t have taboos about getting help.) So I made an appointment.
I described what we’d now call textbook aromantic asexuality. I explained that I was 22, and hadn’t yet been in a relationship. I hadn’t even had anything like a crush. I hadn’t experimented; no kisses on a dare. I had pretty good friendships with guys and girls, but nothing closer than friendship. I felt “behind schedule,” especially because my friends all found it odd that I was still inexperienced.
The counsellor gently asked if I felt it was because I wasn’t allowed to be “experienced”. They noted that I referred to everything euphemistically. Experienced. Relationship. Spark. Feelings. Dating. I never said love, sex, aroused, boyfriend, or girlfriend. I never said romance. Was it because my parents had some strict taboos around seeing girls while I was just fresh out of college, when I should be focused on my career? (I’m half Japanese so that was plausible.) Was it because I felt I wasn’t allowed to love the people I felt attracted to, because I might have been gay or bisexual and hiding that? (Also a fair question, because, sadly, the 90s still weren’t a safe or fair time for my gay and lesbian friends—I didn’t know that I knew any bi or trans people at the time, although I’m sure I did.)
I thought about it. The honest answers were no. My family didn’t make me feel like dating was inappropriate or wasteful, and I just didn’t feel anything “special” for any of my guy friends (and I had guy friends who were comfortable telling me they were gay).
I went on. I explained that I felt happy. I didn’t see any obvious signs of depression or illness or anything. All I felt was a little embarrassed about being so far behind all my friends. Not dating, not “feeling the spark”, not having a “type,” and not having any thoughts on a future family all made me feel immature, and like maybe I had some kind of developmental thing going on. I knew what all those things were. I wasn’t some sheltered or repressed prude. I just wasn’t doing any of that stuff. Not even the perfectly innocent stuff like having a crush, or even really having a “type.”
But it was 1994 and counsellors didn’t have asexual or aromantic on their list of things it might be. So the best the counsellor could guess was that I just didn’t feel good about myself. It must have been low self esteem. (The early 90s still reeked of the yuppie success-or-die greedhead era.) Their guess was that I might have felt my sexuality was something I didn’t feel I had earned the right to access yet, evidenced by my using euphemisms to describe love, romance, and sexuality.
They suggested I read “Feeling Good, the New Mood Therapy” by David Burns, and not worry, because some people are just late bloomers.
And I left there, redirected away from a truth that neither of us knew about. And it would be nearly thirty years before I “reopened the case”, and asked the same questions and got a better answer: Some people experience little to no sexual or romantic attraction. They aren’t necessarily repulsed by sex, or driven away by trauma. They might even have perfectly natural responses to sexual stimuli either alone or with others, but they just don’t feel “I want that, and I want it with this specific person, or this specific sort of person”. They call those people aromantic and/or asexual, based on a presumption that romantic and sexual attraction can sometimes be experienced independently.
I learned that in 2022.
I needed to know that in 1994.
I know I’ll gradually get over that. But yeah. I feel a lot of things about it. Some of them are bad things. But what I’m going to choose to feel about it is grateful that the person who needed answers in 1994 made it to my answers in 2022, and didn’t fall apart in 2022 when I found those answers.
I didn’t let that lost time break me. I didn’t let the mistakes I made crush me. I didn’t find anyone to blame. (That counsellor in 1994 wasn’t hiding anything from me. The world just didn’t talk about people off the Kinsey Scale.) I didn’t let it derail my faith. Asexuality isn’t a curse, and our confusion and fear about the gift of being different like this isn’t the Gift-Giver’s fault.
I’m just going to keep moving. With answers. I’m looking forward to seeing what happens next.
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Omg if you’d be willing to do another boy genius song I loved the first one so much could you do cool about it it’s my favorite from them 🫶
Cool about it - (ellie williams x reader)
hi anon! I would love to do another boygenius one, I literally love them and thank you for the compliment! I hope you enjoy:)
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This story is based off the song Cool about it by Boygenius, if you can please listen to the song as you're reading:)
Pairing: ellie x fem!reader
requests are always open, feel free to send one! you can send me a song and I'll take it from there!
HUGE Warning: mental illness, murder, descriptions of murder, gore, mentions of touching a body, a small description of a dead animal, and Ellie being unhinged (as per usual)
Summary: if Ellie couldn't have you, she'd make sure no one else ever will.
wc: 1.7k
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Met you at the dive bar to go shoot some pool
And make fun of the cowboys with the neck tattoos
Ask you easy questions about work and school
I'm trying to be cool about it
Feelin' like an absolute fool about it
Wishin' you were kind enough to be cruel about it
Tellin' myself I can always do without it
Knowin' that it probably isn't true
When Ellie met you, she knew her life was going to change. Whether it was for better or for worse, she didn't care.
Dina recently came out as bisexual and according to her, she needed to "meet hot girls". She dragged Ellie to a local lesbian bar and Ellie hated every fucking second of it.
She wanted to go home so fucking bad. She wanted to sleep-
"hi"
Ellie's thoughts were interrupted when she heard a voice talking from behind her. The voice of an angel, she would describe it. That voice that changed her entire life, from that moment on.
Ellie turned her head to see you.
And yeah maybe coming to the bar that night wasn't such a bad idea.
The two of you talked for hours about how shitty your college is, you talked about how Ellie wanted a promotion at the Café she was currently working at. The two of you made fun of the bartenders neck tattoos.
It was a really a night to remember.
Ellie had gotten your number and she immediately asked you out on date. And you quickly said yes. I mean, who wouldn't? It's Ellie Williams.
You made Ellie feel like a fucking fool. You were making her do things she's never done before.
She showed up to the restaurant 2 hours early, so she could choose the best table, so she could make sure the area was safe.
Her palms were wet with sweat the closer as she watched the minutes go by as she was waiting for you.
Ellie's eyes lit up when you walked info the restaurant, the air in her lungs were knocked out as you walked towards her.
You were beautiful.
"Hi" you gave her a small smile before she got up to hug you. As Ellie wrapped her arms around you, the scent of your perfume overtook her senses.
The two of you fit together like a puzzle pieces.
The date was amazing. You talked like you had known each other for years, despite only knowing each other a week at that point in time.
As the evening came to an end you told Ellie something she didn't want to hear.
"Look I'm not looking for something serious, just casual hook ups that's all. No feelings attached"
"no feelings?" Ellie asked in shock
"Yeah" you replied. "Just be cool about it"
How could she be cool with only hooking up with the girl, she thought was her soulmate?
I came prepared for absolution, if you'd only ask
So I take some offense when you say, "No regrets"
I remember it's impossible to pass your test
But I'm trying to forget about it
Feelin' like I'm breaking a sweat about it
Wishin' you would kindly get out of my head about it
Tellin' myself one day I'll forget about it
Knowin' that it probably isn't true
Ellie hoped that one day you'd call her and say that you regret only hooking up with her. She hoped that you'd tell her that you wanted more than sex.
But at this rate Ellie doesn't think that will happen.
You'd only call her when you were alone or bored, and Ellie being stupid and in love, always went.
She'd drop everything for you.
She knows this is toxic, being in love with someone you know will never fucking love you is bad.
But Ellie hoped this was a test.
She hoped you were testing her, testing her loyalty. It was unlikely, but she always had hope.
You were in Ellies mind, like a fucking plague. Like a fly that wouldn't go away.
Everything she looked at, everything she smelt or touched reminded her of you. And she was sick of it.
She saw you in her dream, and in her nightmares. Ellie saw you everywhere.
She already couldn't have you, now you were haunting her.
Is this some kind of joke? Did you ask a spell on her?
She'd beg the stars above to have mercy on her. To make her even forget about your existence entirely. But she couldn't.
You were there to stay. To haunt her. To mock her. Maybe one day she'll move on, but for now she has to deal with being with your side chick.
If only you'd given her a chance, you'd still be alive right now.
Once, I took your medication to know what it's like
And now I have to act like I can't read your mind
I ask you how you're doing and I let you lie
"Ellie when last have you taken your medication?" Joel asked as he walked into Ellie's room.
Empty plates and cups littered the room as he saw a few bugs run around.
Ellie's head snapped towards the door when she heard him talk.
"Ellie you know you need it" Joel tried talking with her again
"I dont"
"you'll hurt someone if you don't drink it" he tried reasoning with her
"I'm fine, I won't hurt anyone"
"don't lie Ellie"
"Joel get the fuck out" and with a sigh Joel left the room.
"I need to get into her mind" Ellie spoke aloud even though there was no one there.
"She left me Barry... why would she leave me for her?"
She needed to know why you didn't want her. She needed to know why you chose some blonde bitch over her.
She was cool with the arrangement that the two of you had. Strictly sex and nothing else. She got to see you, she got to spend time with you, but now that you have someone else.
You stopped seeing her.
What made Abby so special, that you could commit to her and not to Ellie? What was wrong with her?
"What can we do?"
"Hurt her? No that's not nice Barry" she told him.
"Wait so you're saying if we kill her no one will touch her?" She asked him.
"If she says no i'll hurt her...yeah thanks Barry"
Ellie excitedly got up from her bed as she reached out to grab her phone. She quickly texted you asking you to come over because the two of you had to talk about something important.
You said you'd be there in an hour and grin spread across Ellie's face.
Joel had left the house to go to see Ellie's therapist. He was very fucking concerned and he was afraid for his own safety.
Joel knew there was something wrong with Ellie since she was 5 years old.
She was playing out in the garden, before Joel called her in a for dinner. But Ellie excitedly told him "come look, I made a friend!"
With smile Joel walked out, but his smile was soon overcome with pure horror and shock.
Blood littered the grass a squirrel lay there cut in half.
Joel turned to Ellie as she looked at him with a big smile.
"Barry made me do it!"
Therapy session after therapy session, but yet no one knew why a 5 year old was killing animals.
They told Joel he was being overdramatic, that she was just acting out. But the older Ellie grew, the more violent her acts became.
She killed animals, she hurt her friends. She wasn't a kid acting out, she was a girl with a serious problem.
They gave her medication, to keep whoever Barry was quite. Without barry Ellie lived a happy life. A peaceful life.
But now, because of you, for the first time in years, she heard Barry talk to her again.
Barry always knew best in Ellie's eyes.
Ellie quickly cleaned the living room, before she hopped into the shower. All you needed to do was say yes, and she wouldn't hurt you.
Just say yes.
But we don't have to talk about it
I can walk you home and practice method acting
I'll pretend being with you doesn't feel like drowning
Tellin' you it's nice to see how good you're doing
Even though we know it isn't true
"please give me one chance" Ellie begged.
She watched you lower your heard as you let out a sigh.
"Ellie I can't, you know I don't feel the same way"
"Please try" she begged.
She hoped you would say yes. She didn't want to hurt you. You would be ok, you would walk out of here alive if only you said yes to her.
The love Ellie had for you was killing her. It felt like she was drowning.
Either you let her love you or she'd make sure nobody would ever love you again.
Ellie felt the cold blade of the knife dig into her back. She had hid the knife behind the chair she was sitting at and all she wanted was for you to say yes.
She needed you to just give her a chance and everybody would be happy. Everybody would be safe and you would leave alive.
"Ellie I said no"
Ellie's eye slightly twitched as she took a deep breathe. She closed her eyes lowering her head into her hands.
why didn't you just say yes?
She got up grabbing the knife, hiding it behind her back as she made her way towards you.
With tears in her eyes, Ellie looked at you and said "you should've said yes"
You looked at Ellie as she towered over you, you opened your mouth to say something but you suddenly felt something cold in your shoulder.
You looked to your seeing there was a knife, with eyes wide you looked back at Ellie as you let out a whimper.
"Why?" You asked her, as you felt the unbearable pain in your shoulder.
"you should've said yes" Ellie repeated, as she removed the blade from your shoulder.
You let out a cry, when the blade was pulled from your shoulder.
You tried moving away from Ellie, but she was bigger than you and much stronger. You had nowhere to run and all you could do was accept your fate.
Ellie brought the knife down as she stabbed you in the stomach.
"You should've said yes" she repeated.
The knife was pulled from my stomach, and she slashed your left cheek.
"You should've said yes"
She brought the knife directly into your eye socket.
"You should've said yes" she repeated as she slit your throat.
"You should've said yes" Ellie yelled as she repeatedly brought the knife down, stabbing you all over your body.
Blood spattered everywhere, and there wasn't an inch of your skin that was left uncut or without blood.
The last words you ever heard that day was "you should've said yes"
maybe you should have.
Ellie threw the knife somewhere in the room as heavy breathes left her mouth. Ellie looked down at your body, with a small smile on your face.
"We did it", she muttered to herself.
Ellie gently placed your still warm, and still bleeding body onto the floor, before she got onto her knees to give you a kiss on your forehead.
"I'm sorry I hurt you" she brought her hand up to wipe the blood from your lips.
"but it had to be done"
She lowered herself onto your chest. Ellie lay there cuddling with your dead body, she closed her eyes and she let out a hum of approval.
She's definitely has to thank Dina for taking her to that bar.
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Authors note: well I've been posting everyday for the last 4 days and I'm so sorry for spamming, but I have so many requests and I'm trying to get everything done for yall. So just know for the next few days, I'll be feeling you with ALOT of content lmfao.Remember you are loved and to always be kind. I love you all.
Yours truly,
Zia:)
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