#my poetic shit posting bullshit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

etheries1015 · 3 months

Note

Hellooo 1st I just wanna say that I love how you write! The fics you post almost always puts a smile on my face when I’m stressed and I just wanna thank you for that <3

Anyways I’ve been accidentally rizzing my friends up lately on accident with sweet words and I ended up thinking what would the biggest tsundere (literally) in twst do with an s/o who’s very generous with compliments and poetic with words and is shameless with how cheesy they can sound sometimes

I’m so sorry if my request is too vague huhu, have a good day! <3

THHAANNKK YOU *SMOOCHES* *GNAWS ON UR LEG* I LOVE U and may happier and less stressful times come ahead for you!

although you didn't specify which character...I picked who I believe to be the top three tsudneres of the game. Heuheuehu.

The prefects muse~

In which you find yourself utterly bemused by him, throwing out compliments and lines of infatuation that leave him a flustered wreck. How does he react to someone as valiantly passionate as you regarding your sweet words of honey?

Featuring: Idia, Riddle, Azul

Idia

Idia convinced himself you were just another introverted loser who had no care in your mind for other people, keeping to yourself, enjoying video games, and always open for degernate hours of playing video games.

what he did NOT know he was signing himself up for, was some sort of weird poet club bullshit. Yet there he was, sitting on the couch of the ramshackle dorm playing away at the new console he had gifted you he could feel your gaze burning the back of his head. Turning around slowly and almost with dread, your shit-eating grin blinded him with words of sweet-sweet cringe.

"Watching you play video games you can truly see how serious you are, it's adorable," Idia groaned with cheeks burning a bright shade of pink, burrying himself into the couch, "Ah~ I wish you would look at me like that, with such passion..."

"ugh..whhyy..." Idia murmured embarrassingly avoiding your gaze and remaining strong in holding himself together at your routine daily compliments.

"I can't help it!" You cried out theatrically, "Idiiaa...I can be like a video game. Play me, too!" That comment broke something inside of him that was supposed to be stayed hidden, his blue hair changing a bright shade of pink to signify the extent of his flustered state. You only giggled at this, as Idia attempted to hold in all self control by taking his hoodie, hoping the couch would just take him then and there.

Over time he became used to the fact that you would openly flirt with him, although that never stopped the second hand embarrassment that came along with it. What he wont tell you, though, that behind the rosey cheeks and tsundere display of dislike for your antics, was a heart that beat quickly and mind that secretly enjoyed your poetic and "old cringy" way of loving him.

Which just means your flirting is working, keep it up! <3 But maybe try to hold back in front of other people, he isn't sure how much more he can keep deflecting their raised eyebrows and teasing remarks...

riddle

Being someone who is well versed in the world of poetry and literature, he could often pin point where some of your lines may come from. His way of deflection is either correcting your sentences, or retorting with the next line. What he DOESN'T know how to deflect, is the string of compliments you give him on a day to day basis. At first he simply thought you were being kind in complimenting the way his hair shone in the sunlight- until Cater pointed out that your remarks were anything but the norm. That's when Riddle took more notice to it, realizing that your lines of poetry was not an exercise of the brain, yet an actual technique to flirt with him.

and it was working.

"Riddle~" You sang in the halls of heartslabyul, skipping much to his annoyance.

"Do not jump around in the halls," He chastised you, "What is it?" You gave him a mischievous smile with a toothy grin to match, clearing your throat and standing straight.

"My bounty is as boundless as the sea, My love as deep; the more I give to thee, The more I have, for both are infinite."

Silence reigned for a few moments as Riddle blinked a few times, squinting his eyes to give you his typical "poker face."

"Is this another one of your attempts to 'flirt' with me?" He asked, you leaning against the wall and running your fingers through your hair in a flirty and playful manner. You nodded eagerly, to which Riddle gave a sigh and walked past you to continue whatever he was doing prior to your poetic interruption. Your jaw slacked open and you skipped (again, to his annoyance) to catch up to him.

"I swear I saw a smile! Turn around and show it to me, Riddle! Was that one good? Did I capture your heart finally?" You giggled, seeing how Riddle was obviously ignoring your feeble cries of searching attention.

Yet you were correct, he couldn't help but find his cheeks as red as a rose and lips curling up in a bashful smile. He would not allow you to see how you affect him, however.

Riddle tends to just ignore your flirting, now that he has come accustomed to it. Even in front of people when you would openly compliment him, Riddle continued sipping his tea seemingly unbothered. Whenever he would get strange looks to find an explanation to your questionable behavior, he simply shrugged.

"Do not mind them, they are always like this."

But at night by his lonesome, he was repeating your words in his head a million times over, that same rose colored tint upon his cheeks and smile with a blanket hard on his grip. Perhaps giggling a time or two to himself...for he never met someone as brazen as you. Not that he was actually complaining, though.

Azul

Flirting with Azul was always a treat. His reactions were the most flamboyant out of the other tsundere boys, he never failed to get some sort of remark and complaint out of his mouth whenever you sang praises his way. He attempted to be calm and collected, but the blush that painted his cheeks betrayed his cool demeanor.

"Is that a new coat, Azul? Ohohoh you do look dashing, If I do say so myself. Did you style your hair? The way it frames your face really brings out your features-"

"Stop, stop stop! Why must you feel the need to shower me in complimets?!" He cried out, burying his face into his arms upon the deak. The pink on his ears was also unforgiving for the poor merman. You chuckled and sat next to him, patting his shouders.

"I can't help it! If I see something I like, I must voice it out. Is it too plain? I can try and be more poetic. Let's see..." You used your hand to pull his chin, forcing his gaze to meet with yours. You inwardly teased him at the vibrant hue of his cheeks and flustered face, keeping it in as you leaned forward to gaze deeply into his eyes.

"Your eyes," you started, "Shine far brighter than any I have seen, even the most silver and sparkly of diamonds pale in comparison to your-"

"e-e-enough! W-what is this?!" Azul pulled away, tucking his head back into his arms and groaning, "Just...go back to what you were doing before! None of this...diamond...and..." He trailed off, words failing him. Azul was not used to such praises from others, he spent his entire life believing the worst every moment he caught glance in a mirror with a life time of self esteem issues. So hearing you so openly compliment him always left the man flustered and blushing, cringing at every moment you tried to stroke his ego.

He never truly get's used to it, only finds ways to ignore you. When you're around others and began to make a sly comment about how his hands look nice or how his skin looks that particular day, he closes his eyes and avoids anyone's gazes with a face full of color that even the coral of the sea could not compare. He often gets teased by his fellow classmates for this, but never actually speaks up in distaste to you. He could never admit just how much your persistent compliments thoroughly means to him, and how with every word he finds himself looking in the mirror with a little more enthusiasm than he once had.

~~~

yes I like to use the headcannon that Idias hair changes color when he has really strong emotions aosdjflkasdjf

#Twisted wonderland #Twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland headcannons #twst headcannons #idia #idia x reader #idia shroud #idia shroud x reader #Azul #azul ashengrotto x reader #azul ashengrotto #Riddle #riddle rosehearts #riddle rosehearts x reader

285 notes · View notes

gretahayes · 1 year

Note

Favourite tim drake recs? :0

Assuming you mean fanfic recs, I've got probably the most for him and this is long, so it's going under the cut;

This is genuinely one of my favorites, it's set post-Red Robin, and deals with Tim's vigilante stalking habits, his family finding out, Cass realizing there's no photos of Tim, them setting out to take/find some of him (a much harder feat than you'd think) and finally, Tim seeing the photos. It's amazing and sweet, and I can't recommend it enough. (I especially like the Bruce & Tim and Tim & Damian in this)

This is by the same author, also set post-Red Robin. This is Damian and Tim focused, Damian POV, in which Damian sees Bruce's contingency plans for him and the rest of the family, and with nobody else to turn to, runs for Tim. Canon divergent in the way Bruce doesn't have a contingency for his children, neither does Tim for his team, or them for him, but it kinda makes sense in this setting. Their interactions are amazing here, and seems so real.

In this, Tim gets a tonsillectomy. An elaboration in the form of a long fic. A must-read, I feel. It's funny and has so many feels and such good characterization.

!!! Can't believe I almost forgot about this one! Tim is Bruce's assistant, not son, and never became a vigilante. He's incredibly overworked, but no less dedicated to the Waynes. It's heartwrenching and sweet and funny and—words can't do it justice. It's a must read. The Al Ghuls make a cameo but Tim knows how to deal with them. Tim's deeply sad but next to nobody knows and those that do just accept it (including him). Kon is the MVP. Cass. Damian and Tim have an odd bond built of mutual respect and disdain for everyone around them. Luthor tries to recruit Tim every year and fails.

This is funny and amazing—Tim lands in a universe where he's technically considered a drug addict, since coffee is a drug and in the regular universe everyone drinks it.

The YJ fic Ever. I've recced this at least three times, and I will continue to. It's amazing characterization all around—both YJ and batfam—and genuinely is so fun. I love everyone in this. When an unknown enemy threatens Robin, Gotham's vigilantes come together to keep him safe. Unfortunately, they're protecting the wrong Robin. Or: Tim Drake plans his own rescue. Things get complicated.

This is Tim & Damian—Tim gets his overprotective big brother moment :) love love LOVE the way everyone is written here.

This is short and hilarious—Tim has amnesia after a head wound (can only remember back to his YJ days) and tries to bullshit his way out of anyone noticing. He might have succeeded if not for Cass.

This is a time loop fic, switching POVs. Tim's stuck in a time loop in which Jason always dies. The loop before the one this was set in, he accidentally kills Damian out of stress and too-fast reflexes. He breaks down when he sees Damian again, the whole thing unravels, and they resolve to help him out of it.

THIS SERIES MAKES ME FERAL. Jack, Tim and sometimes Dana, set when Jack made Tim quit from Robin. Horror-type elements and beautifully poetic, but centered around Jack's POV of the son he realizes he doesn't know, and him realizing he may be a shit dad. Dana's the best stepmom ever, and Tim's far nicer to her than he is Jack. This is the first work, in which Jack tries and fails to understand this Tim, and realizes that this Tim is Robin, not Tim. This is the second (and last) work in the series, in which Tim hasn't fully quit the lifestyle even though he's not going out as Robin, but Jack has no proof he hasn't. Just a hunch and a few odd occurrences that us, the readers, who are familiar with Tim's hero life will find obvious, but Jack does not. Dana makes Tim happier, more Tim than Tim-Robin, than Jack does, and Jack hates it. Near the end, he starts calling Tim Robin, not Tim. I LOVE it. Even if you hate Jack (like I do) you need to read this, for the Tim characterization if nothing else. Outsider POV, except he shouldn't be an outsider. But he is.

This is so fucking funny. Tim gets a matching tattoo with Kon, and hides it from Bruce. When Bruce—and the rest of his family—find out, all goes to hell.

Remember when I said the Jack and Tim series was only slightly horror? This is horror. Bruce's got a habit of picking up monsters, and this one is about Tim. If you're sensitive to horror, please read the tags and maybe avoid it, because this is delightful but not for everyone.

In this, Tim becomes an unintentional sugar daddy to the caped community. It's a bit iffy in some places, but hilarious.

This is Dick and Tim (surprised it took me this long to rec one with them as the main focus tbh) and it's Dick checking up on his little brother. Pure fluff, and genuinely amazing.

This is Tim & Bruce but also Tim & Tam in some places. Bruce forgets Tim is the majority shareholder for WE and is thus invited to shareholder meetings, Tim finds this very amusing and is generally a menace. You can FEEL the teenager in this Tim. Amazing.

Tim's de-aged to a kid in this, and re-meets his family. Fluff and feels ensue.

This is Bruce and Tim. Bruce isn't prepared for his newest Robin's neuroses.

This has Tim & Cassie meeting at an archaeologist event as kids and having to fight a monster thing :) it's cute

GODDD this fic? This fic ruined me. Beautiful Tim characterization, a gorgeous look at Bruce and how much he fucks up despite caring, and Dick being a stressed but amazing big brother with gorgeous writing. I love their brotherly affections here, and Tim's weird neuroses being shown here. Tim & Bruce is how it starts, and it's very much centered around their relationship, but it tapers off into Dick & Tim, which I'm not complaining about. Kon (and Bart!) makes a cameo and is an amazing friend. Can't rec this enough. If you read none of the other fics, please read this one.

This is Dick and Tim again. Dick forces Tim to go undercover with him to an Elvis convention in a thinly veiled attempt to spend time with the brother who he doesn't think knows how much he loves him. It's set in Tim's POV, though, so until Dick says this, Tim doesn't know. Hilarious and short.

This is Dick and Tim (who's surprised? Nobody) where Dick goes to Robin!Tim's science fair because Tim mentioned it and well, nobody else was going. Short and sweet.

This deals with the batfam finding out about the shitshow that was Tim's BruceQuest. If you're a stickler for canon I'd recommend you skip this one, but if not, it's a great read.

This is Dick and Tim again, and it's amazing. Tim's alone on Christmas Eve. Dick finds out, and does something about it. It's Robin!Tim, so this is Dick, Babs and Tim. This author is amazing at writing their interactions, plus inside Dick's head is a tricky place to write and they nail it perfectly. Mostly Dick & Tim, but since he invites Tim to Babs' holiday party, Babs makes a good number of cameos.

This is Tim talking a jumper off the ledge while Damian watches. Then they talk about it. Tim from Damian's POV is always interesting, but this especially is amazing.

This is a core four fic, Tim's POV! Pure humor. Tim finds a dildo in the dishwasher and he drags them for a team meeting so he can sus out whose it is.

I've recced this before, I think, but I'll do it again. Red Robin canon divergence fic in which Bruce is actually dead, and Tim calls Dick to tell him he thinks he may have been wrong. Dick's POV, short, but the emotion in this is outstanding.

In this fic, Damian has trouble with the transition from Dick's Batman to Bruce's Batman. Tim, who's also had both, is surprisingly helpful. This has so many Tim and Damian feels that I'm literally bursting at the seams. Melancholy, camaraderie, and all the good stuff. Damian's POV, and since he sucks at so much as guessing at what's going on in Tim's head, it's all the more great.

This is Dick and Tim, a soft Christmastime fic.

This is Bruce and Tim. Bruce and Tim have a sort-of game that started when Tim was thirteen. Initially, it was Tim stealing sips (or occasionally whole mugs) of Bruce’s coffee, back when he was too young for Alfred to allow him to drink it. Now, though, Bruce is getting his own back, and steals Tim’s coffee when he can. Sweet and fluffy.

Here, Tim gets a headwound and only remembers back to his Robin days, and forgets to be awkward around Dick and Damian. Tugs at the heartstrings. Dick's reminded of how much he misses this Tim.

This is really funny. Remember that time during the YJ days where the adult heroes were de-aged and the kid ones grew to be adults? Tim didn't reach six foot. In this, he's mocked ruthlessly for it.

Here, Tim goes to high school again after dropping out :) it's core four and hilarious

In this, Tim accidentally kills his dad in self defense—or rather, thinks he does, Jack's still alive but he doesn't know that until Dick shows up—and scrambles to call Dick. He calls Jason instead. Dick eventually gets called and shows up, and the brotherly feels in this are amazing. Tim's in shock for a good portion of it, and it's his POV, so you've got to piece some stuff together. Bad dad Jack, as in worse than canon bad dad Jack. Tugs on the heartstrings, and have I said I love Dick in this? Because I do. Bruce shows up near the end, and to everyone's surprise, doesn't absolutely fuck things up and/or fail as a parent.

Here, Tim is sick and alone. Dick, after not hearing from Tim at all for three days, goes to his apartment, finds him sick, and takes care of him. Eventually he gets dragged to the Manor for some actual r&r. It's sweet, and this writer has an amazing way with words and an intriguing flow.

In this, Bruce knows Tim. They have a routine, have habits, they know each other. This is so so touching, and I love it so much.

Here, Tim and Steph give Bruce a headache. It's amazing.

I..can't even begin to describe this. Bruce is fresh from the timeline, and this is a sort of introspection/character study type thing about him and Tim and how Tim's changed. Mostly, though? Mostly, Bruce just gives his son a hug.

Here, Kon is Tim's work husband. Bruce suffers. Pure fluff and humor, with a touch of feels.

Here, Bruce takes Tim to get his wisdom teeth out. They're both worried, but together, they're alright. Tim cries while doped up on the drugs. He cries a lot.

Here, 90's!Tim Drake wakes up in his Red Robin body. Exhausted from a YJ mission, he chooses to focus on getting through a normal day so as not to disrupt things for his future self. But, y'know, his way. Hilarious and so in-character, if exaggerated for comedy.

This is Tim and Damian—Damian gets hit with truth serum on patrol, and a pissed off Tim has to come and get him. Damian resolves to not tell Tim he's been hit with truth serum. They get closer as a result. Love their dynamic in this.

This is core four again, but just general teenager superhero chaos. Can't rec it enough

Here, Tim tries to build a LEGO Gotham, but his family just can't leave it—or him—alone. He calls a family meeting to tell them to knock it off, and they do not. Fluff and humor.

Here, Tim has appendicitis and gets his appendix removed. The best mix of fluff, feels, and good old complicated family dynamics ever

In this, Bruce tries to navigate giving affection to his odd son, Tim. Touching and funny.

This is Tim and Damian—Damian crashes on Tim's bed in the Watchtower when injured, Tim finds him. They talk, and maybe bond a bit, even though they'd never admit it.

Here, Bruce hugs Tim. Really nothing else to it.

Another fic where Tim wakes up with amnesia and pretends to know his family so he's not rude. He's found out when he correctly deduces Bruce is his dad, but makes the mistake of calling Bruce dad.

This is Dick and Tim again. Tim gets de-aged into a six-month-old, and Dick takes care of him. Soft and so so sweet.

In this, Tim's trying to work in his apartment when his siblings keep showing up to distract him and get him to take a break. It's sweet of them, if very annoying.

This is Bruce and Tim. Tim's injured and lying in bed, Bruce gets him takeout. Feels fuzzy and just...good. You've got to read it to know what I'm talking about, no summary does it justice.

Here, Damian tries to make amends with Tim. He does it very oddly though, so Tim thinks he has a crush on him, and avoids him all the more for it because ew-gross-ew-ew.

In this, Tim gets his teeth knocked out and grabs Dick as a mediator so he tells Bruce. Short and funny-sweet. You can tell this is in Tim's Robin run, due to all the little hints dropped.

This is Tim and Kon, funny and nonsensical. Tim calls Kon in the early hours of the morning, drunk. Kon thinks he deserves sainthood for this.

In this, Tim has road rage and most of his family find that out in the most hilarious way possible.

Bruce and Tim—a test sort of fic? Interesting, definitely.

This is timkon, Tim has memory loss and is amazed by Kon all over again.

Core four go to a gala :)

This is Dick and Tim, Tim breaks into Dick's house, accidentally interrupts his nap, tries to leave out of guilt, and gets wrangled into hugs. So so soft and so so sweet.

Another de-aged Tim fic, but this time with six year old Tim and Bruce taking care of him. This is so melancholy and...ugh. I love them.

Here, Tim and Dick are thrown into an alternate universe and have to try and get back with no other support system and no way out. They meet this world's version of Bruce and Alfred, though.

CEO Tim, and hates it. He makes that Luthor's problem.

Timkon, in which Tim plans all his dates VIA corkboard and Kon is so attracted to that.

CEO Tim (again), except he's still a teenager and people end up thinking he's a communist. This is short and hilarious all the way through. Also, Bruce is there.

This is The kid!Tim fic ever. Tim, having found a weird hole after a storm, decides to go exploring ignoring the fact that This Is Gotham and They Probably Have Cursed Stuff Down There.Luckily, it was just a cave system that spans the entire Gotham underground. Unluckily, Tim is a very curious child. Tim's a sorta eldritch being at the end?? Amazing, 100 would recommend.

In this, Tim finds out he isn't his parents' biological son. This changes everything. This changes nothing. Can't say anything else without spoiling, but I can't rec it enough.

In this fic, Bruce is back in time in Drake Manor, and meets baby Tim. It's like you're frozen in time, and all that matters is Bruce and his infant not-yet-son.

Here, Kon and Tim date. Tim's a cryptid stalker that refuses to be photographed, Dick is a big brother that loves his little brother, and it's cute.

Sorry it took me so long to compile this list anon, happy reading!

#asks #anon #tim drake #fic rec #god this is. a lot #took me a while to compile

981 notes · View notes

eff-plays · 6 months

Note

But Astarion does seem to feel guilt/remorse when meeting the 7k spawns… idk it feels sometimes he does feel guilt and sometimes he’s just heartless.,

If this is in response to this post I made, then that post was in response to this and also some other fandom bullshit.

So I'm not saying Astarion doesn't feel remorse ever, but highlighting that at the core of his being, he is deeply selfish and self-serving, which a lot of fandom seems to either excuse away, or pretend is super good actually.

Here's the thing. Astarion does feel remorse ... in the Spawn ending. And obviously he feels no remorse in the Ascendant ending. So what happens with reglier ol' Asty? Well, he's not letting himself feel remorse. Because he's still not ready for it. He's still afraid of it. And like, yes! That's a totally logical thing for his character to do in that moment.

My problem is what people do next, and it's that they assume that his being this fucked up is actually an excuse to be a shithead to his victims and to others. That we should extend sympathy only to him and not to the people he's hurt.

"Well he was forced into it!" And? If I was forced into hurting someone else for my own survival, I'd still feel bad for hurting them? Most people would. I'm not saying Astarion doesn't, but that is distinctly how he acts. Which makes sense, self-defense mechanism etc etc. And stans agree that yes, he does supposedly feel guilt but he can't express it. So why do they excuse it when he instead chooses cruelty?

Again, I'm not making a moral judgment on him, he's a fictional character. I think what he does is (generally, I agree the reaction to the kids vs Sebastian is a bit odd) logical and makes sense for what he is. But pointing out those flaws of his, that were written like that on purpose, that are acknowledged flaws both in- and out-of-universe, doesn't make someone "gross" or a bad person. People disliking Astarion for his bad traits aren't automatically bad people who just don't get him.

He's a dick! He's written to be a dick! It's fine if people don't vibe with it or joke about killing him or do outright kill him! Will they miss out? Yes! But that's their perogative. People not liking Astarion, or hell, just doing something as innocuous as pointing out that he's kind of a huge asshole, are not uwu missing the point or being "gross" or whatever. They are acknowledging a fundamental and undisputable part of his character.

You can't on one hand wax poetic about how complex he is and how he lashes out because he's in such deep pain, and then take issue with people who point out how he lashes out and how it hurts others when he does so.

Speaking of, the thing about his reaction to the spawn kids? And how he supposedly feels bad but can't express it? He's all about killing them again! He wants to kill them! And when does he express remorse over both this wish and his actions toward them when he first victimized them? In the Spawn ending. The one that requires you to tell him no. Don't do that shit. It's bad. What you want is bad for you and for everyone else, even if it makes sense why you want it.

As a friend pointed out, it is kind of wild to see how life imitates art. In order for Astarion to get better, you need to acknowledge and push back against his cruelty and challenge his view of the world. That includes challenging his shitty coping mechanisms and reactions to things. And yet, it seems some people can't even do that.

You can acknowledge the complexities of his writing without using it as a cudgel against any and all criticism. And in particular, you can sympathize with him without attacking anyone who doesn't have the same level of sympathy, for usually quite understandable reasons.

Like I keep saying. Just because you understand how he acts doesn't make it somehow correct!

Anyway, sorry about that. I just had some thots because my brain is so big and full of worms.

#bg3 #bg3 spoilers #astarion #bg3 fandom critical #anyway i've decided i'd rather be in a room full of people who dislike astarion for understandable reasons #than love him for real stupid ones

78 notes · View notes

pinktom · 3 months

Note

Hi, what do you think about the recent rise of tomarry haters who ship bellamort?

I have a feeling this one won’t go over as well as my anti-Tomione post.

However, what the server wants, the server gets. 🐍

If you like Bellamort, if you will be offended by opinions that are anti-Bellamort, do not expand this post.

I am not putting this in the tags; I am not shoving this in anyone’s face. Don't click it. Don't send me pissy anons about it. Unfollow me and move on.

Background context

First of all: a concession. I know every Voldemort-related passage in Harry Potter like the back of my hand. If you don’t think Bellamort can be found in the subtext, you’re either biased or due for another close reading. Unlike Tomione (which almost always depends on a complete fabrication of their personalities) and Tomarry (which requires a significant tone shift from the books), you can easily write Bellamort as an extension of canon.

I don’t hate Bellamort because it’s nonsense. I hate it because it is not nonsense; it feels very real. Voldemort’s and Bellatrix’s relationship, in the canon text, is that of Master and Servant—and for me personally, any such dynamic between a man and a woman is disgusting and I have absolutely no desire to read it.

Here's some specific icks it gives me.

Fanon Bellatrix is bullshit; her real form is repulsive, whiny, and pitiful

There’s this common fanon misconstruction of Bellatrix that portrays her as a thoughtful femme fatale who enjoys a close, intimate relationship to Voldemort on nearly equal terms. I find this tacky at best.

Really, Bellatrix is a pathetic, sniveling wimp who would crawl around on her hands and knees and bark like a dog if Voldemort asked her to do so. She’s not strong; she’s weak-willed and pathetic. She's the kind of pathetic woman who accompanies a man on his killing spree and kills her own kids for said man’s affection.

This passage from Order of the Phoenix pretty concisely captures their dynamic.

Also, Tomarrymort writers love to make her past love of Voldemort and (*pukes*) it makes my tummy ache

Ever find yourself reading a fascinating Tomarry fic only for—midway in—Voldemort to reveal his true love is Bellatrix?* Or wax poetic about how beautiful she is, how special to him she is?

It's 2024. I immediately close the fic when this happens. If I’m reading a Tomarrymort fic, I don’t give a fuck about Voldemort’s past domestic abuse trysts with the most spineless woman in the entire HP series.

And the kicker is . . . for what? Because Bellatrix proved herself to Voldemort by licking his boot and wiping his asshole? Please do not try and convince me she is a sinister spooky gal, she plainly isn’t. She’s an embarrassing blithering pissant who does not foil any of Voldemort’s traits.

And PLEASE do not try and convince me she offers Voldemort something Harry doesn't in terms of being an equal partner or someone he respects, because I cannot fathom how the woman who squeals "MASTER MASTER PLEASE I'M SORRY DON'T HURT ME - I'll wash your anus with my tongue, PLEASE master!" is somehow more respectable than brave, upright, dignified Harry.

*I’m NOT referring to a specific fic. I have been in this fandom since 2011, and I have read it dozens of times, on FF and AO3 alike.

Lastly - they're not a pretty picture

I'm just going to say it... you know those people you kinda knew in high school who now post about their kinky sex life on Facebook? The girl who posts "Daddy 🥺 ?" and the dude responds "Yes, kitten?" in the comments? The chick who has no shame in posting her wolf-tail butt plug or joining a bunch of kinkster groups?

The girl who later ends up getting the shit beaten out of her by said repulsive scrote (no shock) and posting about it on Facebook only to repeat the cycle again and again?

That's literally what Bellamort makes me think about. It's not even like it's deeply upsetting so much as it's disappointing: A reminder of the lowest very promising, very beautiful women can get for men who ought to be curb-stomped and thrown in a ditch.

Tbh the best ending for Bellatrix in canon would've been if she disemboweled and slaughtered Voldemort for ruining her fucking life with his ridiculous tacky cult. He's my baby, but he's a vile scrote first, and I wish Bellatrix had realized what a toxic, life-draining narcissistic psychopathic moron he was. But alas, she too was a pathetic worm.

#anti bellamort #shipping wars #server #asks #i have covid and i'm really mean rn #tw domestic abuse #tw brutally mean #tw anti men hate speech

43 notes · View notes

daedalusdavinci · 1 year

Text

MY Davekat Fic Recs

i read everythign in the davekat tag a couple years back. yeah. everything. the whole bitch. it was a couple of years ago, so that might date this post, but heres a bunch of fics that i thought were so good i put a little note on them in my bookmarks about how hard they went

>Dave: survive three years on this rock

by MadSeason

Growing up on a flying meteor is hard work. You know this from experience. TG: dude what is this piece of shit you just sent me CG: TO PUT IT IN YOUR HUMAN TERMS: CG: IT’S A FUCKING LOVE STORY, DAVE. Well, it's a bit more than that.

this is a meteor fic, and youve read any davekat fics, thats a summary in of itself. however, from what i remember, this particular meteor fic goes really hard bc it does such a good job of building dave and karkats relationships with the other meteor residents and it leans hard into dave and roses friendship which is so important to me, bc guys they are BEST friends and theyre just so ; ; its just important ok. also according to the note i left for myself on this fic it made me cry a lot so thats always good

catch me, keep me

by CurlicueCal (@curlicuecal on tumblr)

Dave drops by the twinkle vermin class transport-ship Calliope to visit Captain Crocker and her crew. He engages Jake for some repair work, bugs his brothers of the corporeal and non-corporeal varieties, and stops in to harass chat with Karkat. Absolutely no flirting ensues.

frankly everything curlicuecal writes goes hard as fuck, so write that one down. read everything. they never miss. they are SO good at handling side characters and dealing w the complexities of homestuck characters, never shying away from the things that make them miserable little assholes. their fics are always so fun + funny and this is a really good one

just two guys being dudes being moirails and smooching a little

by MisPronounce_and_MisAccent

DAVE: yeah id be down DAVE: just two guys being dudes being moirails and smooching a little im not opposed DAVE: if youre cool with that A few options flit across your mind. The first is picking up the couch cushion next to you and screaming into it for a solid minute. The next is just screaming, sans-pillow. The third is, of course, throwing in the towel and flinging yourself off the meteor, because it is abundantly fucking apparent that you possess an inherent incapability to maintain any simple, good relationship without getting your feelings in a bullshit fucking twist. You decide to do none of this.

if you are like me and you really really love fics where they blur the lines between romantic and platonic and flushed and pale, this is the one. this is the fic.

Car Accident Blues

by ode

Dave Strider is good at looking fly, but he sure isn't good at not getting run over!

fuck i remember this one actually. its really short but its SO fucking funny

midnight soliloquy

by apocalypticTaco

If you had the time, you could wax poetic about every inch of him. Well, it’s past midnight. You could spare a few minutes to wax. If someone asked you what was it specifically about Karkat that you fall head over heels over, you honestly could not tell. It's everything.

its short and sweet, really cute fluffpiece. i CANNOT remember this users tumblr un anymore but they were huge in the davekat fandom for a while and they have a really good grasp on dave and karkat as characters which makes all of their davekat fics hit hard. highly recommend checking out their whole page rlly

We've Got Time

by acedavestrider (@acedavestrider on tumblr i think)

He’s very pointedly trying not to smile, trying not to give you the satisfaction of knowing you made him smile, but his eyes completely give him away. They’re far too fond to give any sort of impression other than absolutely smitten, regardless of how hard he’s trying to seem annoyed, and the way he blinks at you - quickly like he’s trying to clear his vision, like he’s trying to figure out if you’re real or if he’s imagining you - is enough to make your heart swoop in your chest.

another REALLY cute sweet one. honestly i think this is one of my favorite davekat fics ever. acedavestrider writes some of the best davekat in general and you should 100% read all of their stuff, because it ALL goes this hard. ofc anyone w a un this good is bound to have a good grasp on the characters so like what more do you even need me to say

Fait Accompli(cation)

by IntelligentAirhead (@dragonomatopoeia on tumblr, but im p sure it was cowritten w someone else? dunno theirs)

In Which a Mutant and an Alien Meander Towards a Quadrant of Indeterminate Identity at a Glacial Pace While Examining the Internalized Toxicity Perpetuated by Their Respective Societies, and The Nature of Friendship is Determined to Be More Universal Than Originally Theorized [Banned In Alternia]

this IS the best davekat fanfiction. this is the one. ive read it multiple times and its good each time. im just going to copy my notes straight from ao3 on this one, i think theyre from a second reread some time after the first

"ok this does slap. this slaps super hard. its a meteorstuck fic wherein karkat and dave both have to question toxic ideas theyve internalized from their own planets and eventually fall in love and get together. no one is delegated to rosemary therapist, all of the charas are beautiful and just as important, and the characterization is so flawless it couldve been written by hussie himself. this TOTALLY holds up, holy shit

"#literally the most beautiful piece of prose known to man"

The Eurydice Suite, v2.0

by callmearcturus (@callmearcturus on tumblr)

Dream-sharing: a highly illegal little industry in which agents delve into people's dreams, and unearth their deepest secrets and memories. Within this business, the Strider-Lalondes are known as the best there is — until Dirk Strider gets his fool-ass trapped within the confines of his own subconscious, with his Auto-Responder playing malicious prison warden. To save him, the best and brightest dreamers in the world will have to form a team. Backed by the token rich friend, lead by the surliest extractor ever bribed out of retirement, haunted by the shade of the latest, greatest agent in the biz, and on the run through a dangerous tiered dream in a hostile mind... It's going to take a miracle to pull this one off.

ive read this one so many times and honestly its still really good. the writing style is fantastic and i have spent many a year trying to capture the same beautiful atmosphere arc does. its a really creative au with really cool ideas about classpects and the characterization in this fic is awesome

Crash Standing

by Asuka Kureru (@asukaskerian on tumblr)

It's been eight days since the end of Sburb and Davesprite is not coping especially well.

ive already listed my favorite davekat fic, but THIS is my favorite homestuck fic period of all time ever the end. this is the best one. this is the ONLY one, as far as im concerned. you dont want to know how many times ive reread this fic ok. i love davesprite/karkat way more than i love dave/karkat (bc you know me w my doomed characters) and the way this author handles the interpersonal relationships between not just karkat and ds but also like ds and all of the OTHER characters is SO. GOOD. davesprite and kanayas relationship in particular lives in my brain rent free at all fucking times oh my god they are so perfect. shes so perfect. i love kanaya so much in this. oh my god and JOHN. the senor strider thing is so fucking funny sldkjfnsdf just. AUGH. its such a good fic just trust me ok just trust me

there are probably more i could recommend but its been so long since i read them im just going to stick to these bc like. man. i do NOT remember some of the bookmarks ive got in there anymore. ask me again when i finally snap and reread homestuck

#davekat #my recs #homestuck fanfiction #homestuck fanfic

87 notes · View notes

sayyourprayers · 8 months

Text

Sorry if this is about your mutuals. Actually not sorry at all. But do y'all realise that they're now bullying an account they have blocked or don't follow and being on some high horse and you guys enable this bullshit? OVER A FICTIONAL CHARACTER.

Pls unfollow or block if you think this post is wrong or uncalled for idgaf. Aemiron henrysglock and their whole ass coterie are bullies. And so are y'all who will wax poetic and then be silent when it doesn't concern y'all.

I was unaware of the drama as I've been blocked but I'm glad I was made to see this shit cuz now I can make this post.

Real mature. Y'all support these people. And fellate their already inflated egos.

The fucking irony. LMAO. You gots to be kidding me.

Also all the bootlickers y'all know who you are including some ex-mutuals. Call me an ADHD baiter to my face you spineless cunt. What is your friend doing? Going on to posts not meant for them. You can't RB, you can't converse in tags and you can't make your own posts tagged "anti". Well anything to say to that? No. Don't think the higher ups have allowed that.

Get a life. Seriously. Try idk being at least half upright. So that your words mean something. Btw y'all condone bullying. It's one thing to have a one on one tiff when it is a tiff and another to send your hounds. How delicious are the Scooby snacks anyway?

Get well soon. You know who you are. Question is. How are you okay with it?

#fandumb drama #but it's just bullying y'all call drama to feel good about yourselves #byler

26 notes · View notes

electricrainbowv · 4 months

Text

So I don't intend to make "political" statements a lot on here or even post much at all really. Not that I'm "apolitical" or that I don't care, I'm just not really that smart with this stuff or don't know what to say. However-

If you support Israel, go fuck yourself! Eat my whole dick!

Like, this is evil. Genocide is fucking evil, ok? Do you understand that genocide is evil???

I see the things Israeli officials are saying about Palestinians - "they're animals" "we're going to kill every single one of them" "we're going to completely destroy Gaza" - I know that these things aren't new. They've been said and will be said about any and every minority group under the god damn sun whether they're actively suffering a genocide or not. But I can't help but think-

What the hell is wrong with you?!

Have you gone fucking insane?!

How can you want to kill people *this* badly? HOW?! I fucking know that it's because of an unending propaganda machine and that people have easily believed things like this before and now - but just HOW? They're people! You want to KILL AN ENTIRE PEOPLE!! Why?! Forget want to - Israel IS killing an entire people! How can you want that? You're all people - how can you let yourself become such a hollow shell of a person so as to think that it is GOOD and JUST to murder people en masse?! To destroy homes and water supplies and families! And for WHAT?! Some fucking land?! Because you want that shit all to your goddamn selves?! It doesn't make any sense!

Oh and if any anti-semites happen to find their way to this post and try to wax poetic about how "Jews are evil" or whatever other bullshit

EAT. MY. WHOLE. DICK.

All of you can go fuck yourselves.

#free gaza #israel #palestine #gaza

7 notes · View notes

moobloom-mention · 1 year

Text

Heart-To-Heart (What Heart?)

BINGO Post

It's said you can feel your soulmate's heartbeat. In the quietest of moments, when you're completely alone, during your darkest times.

Char A wants to believe there's someone out there for them. That there is a light at the very end of the tunnel.

If there isn't...then what really is the point?

Tommy's not that butt-hurt he doesn't have a soulmate. After all, who needs the comforting knowledge that there's someone out there meant for him? That someone will always wish that he survives the next encounter with the Syndicate?

Pfft, big men don’t, that's for sure.

Content Warnings: Cursing. Violence. Near-death experiences.

Word Count: 5704

----------

"What does it mean to have a soulmate?"

It was a question that'd always been flung around the city of Manberg, closely followed by entourages of cameras and influencers subjecting the public to their latest attempts at becoming famous.

"Work" - April 14th, 5056

"It's coming home after a long day of work," one person had grinned, a fond expression on their face. "And being able to tell the moment your soulmate knows you're home, their heartbeat getting faster and faster until you open the door to their smiling face."

"Cute Comparisons" - April 9th, 2057

"To be an animal who's too young to see anything," another confessed, abashed they'd yet to meet their soulmate. "You can't see them, but the drum of their heartbeat is enough to know they're still there, just waiting for the moment you can finally open your eyes."

But to Tommy? To Tommy, it was all bullshit.

Even still he's shocked how much the public swoons over each response, eager to judge whether someone's response was too dull or far too poetic to be original. He'd lost faith in humanity the moment he noticed the uptick in influencers bothering the elderly, hopeful for a story about a soulmate they'd outlived.

Sorrowful speeches paid the bills- the sheer amount of views proved that -even at the expense of morality.

The only interaction that seemed to perform better than tearful grandmas were the "Bitter Ones": people who were heartbroken, pissed, and milked endlessly by the media for clickbait titles.

"Influencer Assaulted by a Bitter One!" - June 17th, 2058

The video opened on a two-minute chase sequence between some prick of an interviewer and a well-dressed man. Even the editor's choice to blur the man's face didn't stop the sheer amount of hatred radiating off the man's expression, waving the young girl off in spite of her never-ending, "Sir! Excuse me, sir!"

It was almost disappointing when the interviewer got what she wanted, the man whipping around to furiously shout at her.

"Could you fucking stop? Some people don't want to talk about how, 'Oh, my soulmate? Mine was a piece of shit that cheated on me with my own best friend-'!"

What wasn't disappointing was the girl being shoved aside as the cameras faded to black.

It'd been a well-deserved response if Tommy had anything to say about it.

Just about anyone would grow pissed over being harassed, let alone being demanded to broadcast their pitiful story to the world. The icing on the cake, however, was the implication that the poor bloke could still hear the heartbeat of his cheating soulmate.

Shit like that was just another reason as to why everyone had grown to favor platonic soulmates in place of romantic ones. It was easier to venture through life's bipolar mess with a best mate versus a partner you felt obligated to marry.

At least, that'd been the opinion of one of Dream's shitty magazines.

"Prime's Attempts at Arranging Marriages is Soooooo Last Decade..."

Tommy had just barely poked his head into his mentor's office when he noticed the headline, eyes wide as he found Dream at his desk and engrossed by an article some poor writer had probably killed to get a spot on the front page.

The scene was more interesting than awkward, especially considering Dream's original hesitance over divulging in anything soulmate-related. Tommy had practically had to strangle the name "George" from Dream's throat when he'd first started his apprenticeship at the Tower.

Shame Dream's attempts at secrecy failed the moment Tommy knew their Number-One-Hero's guilty pleasure was cheesy gossip meant for preteens.

"Trouble in paradise?"

The room had burst into chaos, Dream flinging the magazine into an adjacent wall as mindless paperwork made its home back in the man's hands. If the magazine hadn't practically framed itself on the wall, Tommy would've assumed he imagined the whole ordeal.

"Y'know, usually we get offices only for shit like paperwork."

It'd been hilarious to watch Manberg's Number-One-Hero burrow his face into his desk with a muffled plea of, "Don't tell Schlatt."

It wasn't like Dream would get fired over a little bit of soulmate talk, but the fear was well-deserved considering the Tower's manager would never let Dream live it down.

"I dunno, Big D. He'd give me an office for finding out about this one."

Dream's head lifted, faux hurt in his expression. "Tommy, c'mon-"

"An office, Big-Man."

Dream's eyebrows pinched.

"I can't fucking believe this- done."

Tommy grinned.

"Aaaaand an invite to you and Gogy's wedding?"

"We're not having a- y'know what. Fine. But this-"

The magazine flopped uselessly to the ground.

"-this never happened."

"I don't even know what you're talking about," he agreed with ease.

Life wasn't quite the same following the "Magazine Incident Circa 2060". Yeah, life would never be the same after getting his own office, but something changed in the way Dream progressed their trust in one another, training sessions interrupted by Tommy's curiosity over George and Dream's sudden willingness to let details about his soulmate slip.

Trust had already become mandatory when Tommy first became Dream's apprentice- it demanded they their life in one another's hands amidst combat for fucks sake- but this crawled beneath the surface of contractual agreements.

Dream had once coined it as "friendship", a thought which instantly earned the hero teasing remarks over how George would be jealous.

There'd only been a handful of times Dream had tried to dip into the subject of Tommy's own soulmate, attempts that'd been dismissed with a shrug of "I haven't met 'em yet."

Not everyone was lucky enough to meet their soulmate in second grade, Dream.

It wasn't long before even other heroes amidst the Towers warmed up to the idea of discussing their soulmates. Even in spite of Schlatt's decade-long policy prohibiting it, it seemed the strict dickhead grew to agree that passing comments and stories were more beneficial in trust-building amidst coworkers.

"Long as media shit-heads don't find out, it's fine."

It was an easy catch.

Not so easy for Fundy, apparently.

The hero had barely been around for a couple months before he took his first interview, selecting TMZ of all fucking media outlets. Sure, the network did well to spark publicity for new heroes, but if Tommy noticed anything about the redhead amidst their first battles with one another, it's that the man can't see a trap to save his life.

"Soulmates in the Tower?" - August 8th, 2060

"Well," the interviewer had begun, quick to soothe her previous bout of laughter. "I'm sure you've heard the trends going about in regards to soulmates."

To give credit where it was due, Fundy did hesitate before shaking his head. "Ah, no. Soulmate business has never been a strong suit."

The woman's smile twisted into that of a shark's as she leaned forward. "You must have at least some input when it comes to the big question on the streets. 'What does it mean to have a soulmate'?"

There'd been a beat of silence, one that'd originally elicited hope that Fundy hadn't fucked up and instead cut the interview there and then.

But there's a reason the holler of reporters had changed from, "Hey, Karma! Karma! How'd you manage to evade the Angel of Death?" to irritating parrots of "-soulmate? How do you feel about them? Surely the Big-Man himself wants to speak about his soulmate-"

"To finally feel complete," Fundy replied lamely. "To rush into battle with your heart racing, and feeling the pound of theirs following."

Tommy's phone slipped back into his pocket.

(It didn't matter how much his mind screamed to correct such a careless response. To mutter, you feel cared for, dickhead. You know that every time you put yourself in danger, you know damn-well your soulmate's praying for your safe return.)

Prime knows how the fuck Fundy only received a slap on the wrist for his stunt. Schlatt's screams following the interview still haunt his nightmares, with words over how Fundy barely managed to follow the bare minimum of his contract.

Apparently, the policy was meant to stop identifiable details from coming into light, and considering Fundy's lame-ass response had been, well, lame, the hero kept his job after acknowledging the severity of the situation.

Even the careless mention of blonde hair could've put citizens matching the vague description under the surveillance of villains. Killing a hero's soulmate was a one-way ticket to solving a life-long rivalry, a chance that as Tommy mulled over it, explained Dream's original concern for discussing George.

There isn't room for trusting the wrong person when a single soulmate is all someone gets, especially when said someone has an iconic rivalry with the Blade himself.

He definitely didn't preen after putting together that thought, every mindless reciting of George's antics now found to be another support beam added to their undefeated bridge of trust. The bridge's completion arrived only six months following Fundy's fuck-up, when Dream hesitantly invited Tommy out to dinner with him and George.

"Gogy finally get tired of hearing all about me? Don't worry, king; I'll even get my suit dry-cleaned."

First impressions considered: George was an odd fellow. Short, blunt, and- in spite of the very nice restaurant Dream had selected -dressed in pajamas. Tommy can still recall the moment he noticed Dream's limo pull up, the hero stepping out in a suit and dark green tie whilst George stumbled about in a grey t-shirt and plaid-blue sweatpants.

With the apologetic expression on Dream's face, Tommy could imagine this was less of a prank and more-so a typical outing for the duo.

It'd been admittedly odd to be seated in front of Manberg's Number-One-Hero and his soulmate. He tried not to compare himself to nosy influencers the whole night, even in spite of how the answer to the media's, "What does it mean to have a soulmate?" sat mere feet away, etched into reality.

It was written in the way they offered fleeting glances toward one another amidst conversation. How they sat there, endeared by one another's attire as they dined beneath diamond chandeliers. How they laughed and snorted at jokes undeserving of being found humorous, amused only because the other had uttered it.

When the night eventually came to an end, Tommy found himself trapped with an odd pit in his stomach that definitely wasn't jealousy.

If it was jealousy, then why would Tommy go the lengths to torture himself and ask for more stories about George's antics? Why would Dream then fall into a habit of talking about his soulmate unprompted whenever patrol nights got a touch too quiet.

"It's funny," Dream had commented one night, kind enough not to mention the way Tommy's eyes lit up. "How good his poker-face is. His heartbeat will grow erratic, even though his expression never betrays anything-"

Still, Tommy elbowed the hero aside with a groan. "I don't want to hear about your make-out sessions, prick."

"You know it's not like that," Dream laughed. "Besides, you'll have to put up with it 'til you get the balls to talk about yours."

Damn, a rare L for Big D.

Tommy scrambled to dismiss the sudden tension. It was all in vein, attempts vanishing the moment Dream noticed it.

"You don't have to," he back-peddled, almost frantically. "This was never an info-for-info arrangement, I'm more than happy to just talk about George-"

He'd be lying if he said he hadn't considered the offer.

Dream had opened a door that night, one demanding payment of complete vulnerability should Tommy walk through it. He'd have to share the only thing the blonde could truly claim as his secret to own- something that Dream had been openly sharing for over a year at the time.

It was...enticing.

Tommy's mother tongue might be that of a sailor, but there'd always existed an undesirable itch to spout metaphors like Dream did about George. He is, in spite of Dream's shock, a poet at heart. It was his pride that prohibited the publishing of his thoughts.

Well, his pride and the fact he was nothing if not the spitting image of stubbornness. The moment he'd soul his soul on a lie was the moment he refused to depart from it.

"Fuckin' rude," he huffed. "Maybe Schlatt should hear of that magazine incident-"

The topic was dropped in favor of teasing laughter, and Dream never learned that Tommy had spent the following morning pacing his apartment with a question in mind.

What does it mean to have a soulmate?

To influencers, it was to milk them for all their worth, to regard them as winning lottery tickets and divulge in profit.

To Fundy, it was to matter, to seek comfort and validation in his life meaning something in the eyes of another.

To Dream, it was to hold them in the space between his heart and lungs, to immortalize them in the minds of others through childish stories.

And to Tommy-

To Tommy it wasn't just bullshit.

It was to sit on his shitty excuse for a couch, to strangle a notebook and pencil within his hand.

(To etch amidst blurring blue lines:

It is to ask a mentor about theirs,

And for a moment, pretend you have the same.)

It'd been easy to smother the notebook beneath shopping lists and nervous chants of "Just kidding, just kidding-" as though it were someone else he were attempting to convince instead of the lonesome thud of his own heartbeat.

It never mattered how how many times the mantra filled Tommy's empty apartment. He'd always been destined to retire beneath the covers of his bed, an old pair of white headphones glued to his ears as though they could heal the song of mourning that'd torn his heart to shreds.

And they could, ever-so-eager to echo the soft, rhythmic thump of a looped heartbeat not meant for him to listen to.

A part of him hopes the original owner of the audio has long been put to rest, unable to handle the guilt that he'd intruded on two soulmate's heartbeats for the sake of curing his loneliness.

It's pathetic.

But being pathetic wasn't as lame considering how much easier the routine made going about his day without a second heartbeat to contrast with his own.

It was a tiny secret he'd kept hidden beneath the covers of his bed, harmless and easy enough to contain within the walls of the apartment.

But of course, Prime loved fuck-all if not ruining a good system.

Hero work had always been dangerous- hell, he had his own set of previously broken bones to prove it.

Having a brush with Death was bound to happen sooner or later.

Dream and him had been roaming about when a report came in, spouting of how two members of the Syndicate- Manberg's most effective group of organized villainy -were stalking the streets. It hadn't raised too many red flags; with so many members amidst the Syndicate's ranks, hearing only two of them running errands wasn't unheard of.

Especially when the two were Phantom and Blade, names that'd proven they could defend themselves quite well.

It was dumb-luck alone Tommy eventually managed to successfully pin Phantom in place whilst Dream was distracting Blade, his arm pressed against the villain's throat as he attempted to wrestle Phantom's freezing cold hands into a pair of power dampeners.

He'd nearly jolted over the sudden realization he couldn't feel a pulse against his arm, Phantom still very much alive and struggling in spite of the revelation.

"No heartbeat? That's creepy as fuck," Tommy muttered, as though he wasn't panicking feeling Phantom's hands warm in his grasp. He really didn't need the villain dematerializing right as he was this close to success.

"Don't tell me you heroes hold grudges against dead people," Phantom grinned. As if he wasn't about to be sent to Pandora's vault for a CVS receipt of crimes.

"Prime do I have bad news for you, king-"

There'd been the soft sound of scrapping metal before he found himself stumbling onto concrete, Phantom long forgotten as his fingers instinctively grasped the metal feather that'd embedded itself in his chest.

Somewhere to his left Phantom scrambled upright.

Even nowadays he can't grasp together a cohesive description of the events that followed, only recalling how quiet the atmosphere had grown. Phantom and the Angel of Death had to of been talking, right? Shouting if what little of what Tommy could see explained.

But there'd only been the deafening crash of silence, interrupted only by the head-ache inducing pound of his heart.

Suddenly, Fundy's fondness over the racing of his soulmate's heartbeat made sense. Dying alone was terrifying.

He learned two things that day:

The Angel was not a force to fuck with, and maybe therapy was a good thing to invest in.

Tommy would've been back on the battlefield the moment the hospital discharged him if it wasn't for Dream. The man had been relentless, convincing Schlatt to force Tommy on two weeks of paid leave.

Day 18 of being out of commission and Tommy found himself walking through the Tower's lobby, white headphones secured to his ears.

Only Dream questioned it, convinced it was a joke.

"You're not actually taking them into the field, are you?" the man had asked, frowning over Tommy's shockingly serious expression. "Tommy, you just got back from dying. You seriously expect me to let you go out there with these things?"

"Mhm."

A sigh.

"Can you at least let Sam downsize them-?"

"Nope."

Tommy loved nothing if not giving Dream a heart-attack.

"How the hell are you going to hear our call-outs then?"

He shrugged. "I will."

And Tommy had done well with that promise.

Unlike Dream's suspicion that he was blasting music amidst life-threatening confrontations, the soft echo of a heartbeat never did much to phase out barked commands and shouts for backup.

"Tommy- for fuck's sake!"

Said hero can't help but wince as Dream suddenly flies down the street, the man just barely catching himself before his face can greet pavement.

Tommy jerks back, confusion echoing within his brain when a fist doesn't appear to knock him back a few feet as well. Blade and Dream's rivalry might be iconic, but Tommy would be an idiot if he wasn't at least slightly aware how quickly he could become Blade's newest target.

He's only a little wounded that Blade pays him no mind, the villain following Dream's footsteps to land unwavering blow after blow. Tommy's shoulders sag with relief, a grin on his face even as he watches Dream's desperate attempts to avoid getting knocked out.

There'll be a riot if they're both not awarded raises following this shit-show. He'd like to see Schlatt try and fight the Syndicate himself.

"What was that? Sorry, can't hear you over my headphones!"

Despite his words, Tommy finds himself naturally falling into a defensive stance, a knife primed in his hand as he tracks Blade's movements with caution. It's almost comical how much he feels like a dog, prepared to lung into action the moment Dream deems it necessary.

What's even funnier is the fact that this has to be the eighth time they've doomed 180th Street to Syndicate shenanigans.

"Well, isn't that a pity?"

His knife slices through the air at an instant, eyes searching valiantly for the source of the new voice.

The tone hit all the wrong notes- playful, yet screaming of imminent danger.

He'll die before he lets Phantom of all people get an easy hit.

As much as he wants to call the ghost a massive bitch for hiding in plain sight, his mouth feels like cotton, mind far too focused on the steady rise of his heartbeat.

Thump-thump-thump-thumpthump-

A scoff erupts by his ear once more.

Tommy nearly shouts at the asshole who'd managed to sneak up on him again, forcing down the terror that'd begun to creep into his veins.

Panic was never a good mix when trying to locate an essential ghost.

Fuck Prime for giving a villain such an overpowered ability. "Recall" might not be among the worst powers to have, but even Dream's manipulation over gravity is nothing in comparison to walking through fucking walls.

"I thought you would've loved to hear Dream nearly get a face-full of pavement."

Well now that you mention it-

Tommy's joints lock as the distinct of metal on metal returns, a sound that'd only just begun to disappear from his nightmares.

Phantom's sudden lack of continuous banter only confirms his suspicions that this isn't just a typical Blade and Phantom scenario.

The teenager ducks just in time for a handful of metal feathers to imbed themselves into the alleyway wall instead of his back, breath hitching at the sight of the Angel of Death staring down at him in amusement.

Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump-

"Th-That's hardly fair, you fuckin' prick!"

He feels drunk on the adrenaline rush that flows through him, his knife thrown toward the son of a bitch with practiced ease.

There's disappointment in the way his weapon never finds a home, effortlessly batted away and making a near-perfect arch back into Tommy's hand as his power wills it to return.

It's fantastic that he has his weapon back.

Terrible that it'd came whizzing toward his heart point-first.

Shadows loom as Angel's metal wings extend, creating a barricade between them and Dream's ongoing struggle.

Ha, as if two dangerously sharp wings are going to stop him.

"'Fair' isn't exactly in my vocabulary, mate."

"Almost forgot," Tommy grunts. "Blade's the dictionary fuck."

There's a flash of light before Tommy dives forward, metal clashing as his knife meets Angel's wrist-guard.

Satisfaction bleeds into the villain's cruel smile.

It almost makes him miss Phantom. At least with him Tommy isn't forced to look too hard at the bastard's ugly face.

Tommy wrestles the yelp from his throat as Angel's wings fling forward, boots digging into the ground to counteract the sudden powerful gust of wind.

An uproar of debris greets his attempts to stand firm against the violent force, triumph igniting as Tommy stands his ground.

Apparently, his success is a crime straight out of Phantom's book.

The dust barely settled when the heel of the ghost's boot meets his chest, lungs squeezing as he's sent flying onto the pavement of Ox Avenue.

He's unable to swallow back a totally-manly noise of pain- head pounding as the world roars back to life.

It's far too loud, overwhelming at this point.

Thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump.

He can faintly hear Dream's distinct grunts from the street over.

Fuck, that means-

Tommy's eyes widen as he locks onto his headphones a few feet away, split damn-near perfectly down the middle.

"What a shame, folks," Phantom's voice sings, the villain in all his vintage-glory appearing not far from Tommy.

If he wasn't so pissed, he would've asked whose dead grandpa Phantom stole the trench coat from.

"Looks like Karma's headphones are officially down for the count!"

Live now. Mourn later.

Sweat drips down his forehead as Tommy lurches backward, Phantom's fists connecting with the pavement Tommy had laid upon only a second before.

"Oo, but Karma makes a shocking return!" Phantom cheers. His form flickers once before it returns full-force, much less passive than the ghost's usually fighting stance.

Tommy's teeth grit.

The saying isn't "Karma's a bitch" for nothing.

"You're gonna regret that, fucker."

Phantom flickers back into existence, and Tommy takes kindly to the way their fight falls into hand-to-hand combat.

It's a dance he'd practiced for years, the consistent art of feigning left and dodging right.

The meticulous thoughts firing every time Phantom leans a little too much on his left-side.

Tommy's leg sweeps beneath the villain, fury forever caught in Phantom's eyes as the villain stumbles to the ground.

His power surges as he calls upon his knife, hand reaching out to snag the handle as per usual.

Tommy's grin drops the moment his hands grab something, something that ignites the nerves in his hand aflame.

That...that is not his knife.

He groans as the metal feather rips itself from his grasp, snapping back into position on Angel's wings.

"You mother-"

The world turns.

Tommy flails as his feet leave the ground, eyes widening amidst his attempts to twist mid-air. A quick glance proves that Phantom and Angel have joined his non-consensual ascent to the sky- a very black sky that totally isn't scary as fuck in the middle of the day.

Blinding white strips creep along the avenue's road like veins, the sidewalk now a pale shade of black.

Well, that's never happened before.

Tommy's heart stalls as gravity takes reign once more, the world flashing back to normal in time for the trio to crash onto pavement.

True to his luck, he doesn't land on his feet like Dream always does.

Instead he's left in a tangle of limbs, and silence that definitely should not be there.

"What the fuck-"

Tommy forces himself to his feet as his gaze fires on instinct.

White concrete.

Black roads.

Kicked dust settling.

Still Angel of Death-

Woah, woah, slow that down a bit.

Tommy's brows furrow.

Dust should not be settling whilst two supervillains stand tall.

Oh, and the Angel of Death probably shouldn't be standing in place either.

Tommy almost wilts beneath the odd storm crashing in Angel's eyes as the villain gazes toward 180th Street. If he didn't know any better he would've deemed it an odd mix between panic and possessiveness.

It can't be panic over Dream's abilities, Tommy had spent way too much time combing through his mentor's files to of missed such a crucial detail in the man's powers.

The Angel takes a step back, pupils blown wide.

Oh.

This isn't a Dream problem.

This is a Blade problem.

For once, it seems their Number-One-Hero might just have the upper hand.

How the turn-tables.

Tommy's powers howl as he throws his knife, pride unaffected as the Angel's wings once-more deflect the blade without so much of a glance.

The air freezes as the villain slowly turns his head toward Tommy, leveling the hero with a death-glare.

If this wasn't a such an opportunity, he would've fled the scene in an instant.

But Dream needs time, and Prime will Tommy buy him some.

"Oi, dick'ead! I wasn't finished with you."

Gone are the grins, the playful woes of battle.

This is personal.

"Phantom."

A hand appears to his left and Tommy's lunges.

He barely makes contact with Angel's left wing before Angel staggers back, landing a solid punch against Tommy's cheek in the hopes it'd dismantle him.

Like hell he's giving up this easily.

"Reca-!"

His power dims as a hand clamps around his mouth, the eye-watering scent of gunpowder flooding his senses.

"Oh no you fucking don't gremlin," Phantom grunts, voice heavy with the sheer amount of effort it takes to wrangle Tommy against his chest.

Good, nothing should come easy to that prick.

He definitely doesn't flinch as the wing in his hand dissembles, the feathers following in Angel's hurried footsteps as the villain takes off toward 180th.

Fuck.

Dream better hope Angel and Blade just have an extremely beneficial partnership and aren't two extremely dangerous soulmates.

Tommy's teeth sink into Phantom's hand.

Y'know, for being a classified ghost, Phantom's hand tastes grossly similar to normal flesh.

And like a human, the ghost's hand snaps away at an instant.

Tommy doesn't give Phantom the time to register his fuck-up, the metal feather he'd managed to snag oddly light as he digs it straight into the villain's thigh.

There's a hiss before Phantom disappears, the bloodied feather falling to the ground.

His chest erupts with triumph.

"Haha, bitch! How does it feel to get stabbed-?"

A fist connects with his face.

He's just barely able make out the familiar blur Vintage Road's boutiques as he's sent flying, his hands providing a sufficient block in time for Phantom's next incoming hit.

It's evident that they're moving farther from Dream, Tommy forced backward with every punch Phantom lands.

The ghost really shouldn't be holding this well after being stabbed.

Tommy yanks on his powers, desperation lining his features as he prays for his knife's arrival.

It never comes.

Fuck- this is the last time he tries to recall something on impulse.

He won't even get another chance to recall anything if Phantom's brutality says anything.

A hand grabs his shirt and yanks, pulling the duo onto the unforgiving ground.

Phantom's hands find a home at his neck, squeezing in spite of Tommy's flailing limbs.

"Just stop- struggling!"

You're trying to fucking kill me!

Tommy's breath comes out in wheezes, eyes wide as his mind struggles for some plan.

Phantom isn't supposed to be a lethal threat and the tension lining the ghost's stance proves it. There's an ongoing battle told in the way Phantom's eyebrows furrow with discontent.

His foot kicks out, choking as his feeble attempt only gives Phantom an excuse to add pressure to his throat.

His vision tunnels.

Damn, what a shitty way to go.

"Fuck!"

Instinctively he cringes away from Phantom's hiss, flinching as he expects his small struggle to be reprimanded.

Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump-

The hands on his neck disappear, replaced by the violent mantra of, "Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-"

Tommy gasps, rolling onto his side as he forces air into his lungs.

Boots and nervous laughter echo as Phantom circles him. The villain's mouth moves, Tommy straining to comprehend the words.

"Of all people," Phantom was muttering. "Of all people, it's the biggest fucking pain in my ass."

His throat aches at the thought of speaking, and he can't tell if it's from being choked out or being completely helpless should Phantom decide to do something.

Tommy whines as fists tighten at his uniform, briefly registering the fact that they're moving. If the two building rising into his vision say anything, his deathbed is going to be in some dingy-ass alleyway.

It'll be poetic, if he thinks hard about it. Phantom finishing what the Angel of Death couldn't.

Dream isn't around to save him, nor is there a secondary heartbeat to care.

A hand knocks at his skull.

"-hello? Anyone home?"

Tommy forces himself back into reality, petrified as he meets Phantom's irritated expression and neon green eyes so inhuman that his mind prays they're only contacts.

"Welcome back to the land of the living."

Ironic coming from a ghost.

Damn, what a shame he can't deliver that zinger.

"Stop zoning out," Phantom huffs, kneeling at Tommy's side.

Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump-

Tommy isn't sure how long they stand there for, his heart slowly beginning to calm in spit of the clear danger still in front of him.

Phantom's mouth is still moving- the villain ever liked shutting up anyway.

"Thump-thump-thump...thump-thump...thump- there you go...just calm down."

Tommy bolts upright, eyes wide as his hand rubs at his throat. Phantom's hand isn't there to stop him.

"Thump-thump-thump-thump."

Phantom's hand isn't there.

"Oh fuck," he grunts, eyes wide as he scrambles away from the villain. "You're my-"

"Took you long enough. Thanks for stabbing me, by the way."

Tommy's jaw twists open to retort, the soft crinkling of paper interrupting him as cold hands land in Tommy's own. A quick glance finds a poorly written note in his grasp.

"Niki's Bakery, 120th King's Rd. 5:55PM, don't be late."

His expression morphs into that of confusion.

Kinda odd to have that on hand.

"I- uh, had a suspicion after y'know..."

I almost died?

At least his soulmate has comprehension skills.

"Karma!"

Both of them flinch at Dream's voice, eyes wide as they scramble away from one another.

This- this would look extremely bad.

There's a soft crackle of static from Phantom's trench coat.

"Phantom?"

"All good on my end," the villain mutters into the speaker. "We may have a Code Blue on our hands, though."

"What?"

Blade.

"Mate, you better have an explanation."

Angel.

"Yeah, yeah," Phantom huffs.

Tommy winces as the villain rises, an odd grin on the ghost's face.

"Guess I'll be seeing you soon, hm Karma?"

"Fuck yeah."

"Karma!"

With a salute, Phantom's figure fades just in time for Dream to come skittering around the corner.

Tommy finds his fingers shoving the note into his pocket.

This was...big.

An opportunity to report Phantom's civilian identity. To finally land the villain a ticket to Pandora's vault.

But this meant Tommy wasn't alone anymore, that he did have a soulmate, even if he couldn't feel the secondary drum of another.

He can be selfish just this once, can't he?

"I'm fine," Tommy grunts before Dream can say anything.

"You look like you just got hit by a bus."

The teenager grins, "What if I did?"

Dreams eyebrows pinch. "Don't make me think about that- lets just...lets get you patched up and home."

"You read my mind, king."

---

Out of all the ways he'd unwilling dreamed of meeting his soulmate, standing idly in front of a café was not one of them.

It felt like the beginning of some cheesy rom-com, especially with the giant ass scarf he'd forced on himself to cover Phantom's handprints. The last thing he needed was his soulmate feeling guilty over it.

Actually, maybe that would be some decent blackmail.

Tommy forces himself to breathe as he pushes the cafe's doors open, dismissive of the anxiety stirring within his chest.

The cafe's tall-ass cashier instantly turns to the door, dark brown eyes following Tommy's approach to the counter.

It's unmistakably Phantom, with dark eyebags and a stylish mess of brown hair. A part of him sighs in relief that the ghost's green eyes had just been contacts.

Oh Prime, unless these were the contacts-

"Hey."

Not the best start to formally meeting his soulmate.

"Hey."

It's awkward, half because the cafe's dead quiet, and half because it's weird as fuck to stand in front of one of Manberg's most-wanted criminals, unmasked.

Gone is Phantom's famous black eye-mask and trench coat, exchanged for a cozy brown sweater and green apron with a weird ass nametag.

This isn't Phantom. This is-

"Wilbur, huh? You don't suppose there's still time to change that-"

"Don't push it, gremlin."

#dream smp #mcyt #fanfic #hero au #platonic soulmates #tommy innit #dream mcyt #wilbur soot #philza #technoblade #dark sbi #angst #hurt/comfort #fluff #violence cw #ao3 fic #ao3 tags #bingo #Damn this took WAYYYY too long to put out there

33 notes · View notes

tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 8 months

Note

There should be more Andy Zaltzman in the world. Sorry to bother you it's not really a question but why isn't there more Andy Zaltzman in the world? I've been good and not drinking for a week now and I think I deserve more Andy Zaltzman fuck I don't even like cricket but this shitting world don't give me no choice.

Andy Zaltzman is, in my book, the only comedian that makes sense.

Good night legend of Canada.

There’s this martial arts gym where I used to run wrestling sessions for their fighters, we had a great relationship with the gym and its owners for many years, but I distinctly recall the first time I ever went in there and met everyone, in I think 2009. The guy who worked at the front desk was a great guy, and we were just instantly hit by waves of “God, what a great guy this is” from the first moment we met him. He was clearly really nice in general, but was also just wildly impressed with my best friend and I and our ability to do even pretty basic wrestling things, he asked us to show them to him over and over and marveled at how great we were and couldn’t believe the gym would be blessed with our presence. I have this clear memory of walking out of the gym and back to my friend’s truck, and saying to my friend, “Right, I don’t want to talk to anyone except [guy at the desk’s name] ever again.”

That story came into my head as I read this message, because it was a bit of the same feeling. Okay, everyone else get out of here, I don’t want to talk to anyone except the person who wrote this message ever again. New standard for my inbox: you have to rave mildly coherently about Andy Zaltzman for a bit, and then call me a legend of Canada. Anything else will pale in comparison now. What an utterly excellent message. (I'm joking, everyone feel free to send me anything you like, but you do get extra points for waxing poetic about Andy Zaltzman and calling me a legend.)

God, there should absolutely be more Andy Zaltzman in the world. Unfortunately he cannot be everywhere at once, but since you wrote so eloquently on the subject, here, have a little Andy Zaltzman, as a treat:

Okay, okay, a little more.

The above two are my favourite things to think of whenever I hear Andy Zaltzman talk about the disastrous gigs he's had at comedy clubs and universities. Sometimes I think it's a mystery what happened at the legendary York 2005 Zaltzman and Oliver gig where they were chased off stage, and sometimes I think - okay, Andy, to be fair to that audience, sometimes you're really annoying. In the best way. The best way. Ruthless artistic integrity by doing things like absolutely refusing to give the story a point.

Okay, have a little more.

youtube

Look, I'm not into cricket either, but sometimes he talks about other sports! The depth with which he genuinely cares about the integrity of sports and hates things that make a mockery of it is truly admirable. I'm not being ironic or anything this time, like how there's a vague layer of irony over praising of the pun runs, I just really respect his stance on that and commitment to writing jokes pointing out bullshit that ruins sports. His stance on how the word "wrestling" should refer to the sport first and only make people think of the actors on TV if they specify that they mean "pretend wrestling" would make me love him even if I had no other reason to.

Look, I cannot pass up an excuse to post this again:

The UK TV channels know they couldn't handle Zaltzman's power, but they do let him on TV in Australia once in a while:

youtube

Also, I cannot recommend enough his 2019 year-end stand-up show, which he released for free as a Bugle episode, which is amazing. It's only the first half - he says in the episode that he might release the second half later in the year but then it never happens - but I think the first half is most of the meat of the show, anyway (he explains in the podcast that the first half is much longer than the second half, because somehow stand-up comedy lets you break the rules of math like that, in addition to letting people play fast and loose with the otherwise fairly rigid definition of "hour"). This is probably in my top ten favourite stand-up shows I've ever heard, and it got released as just another episode of a podcast. Fucking incredible.

Early pun run - not as long as some later ones, but the first one to feature footnotes, and Andy Zaltzman's jokes that feature footnotes never fail to get me:

youtube

As far as his pun runs go, I think this one's a bit underrated:

youtube

I like that one because I like the ones where he picks a category with a finite number of items, and then hits every single one. Like American post-war presidents. Or Asian countries. "You and I did a rap, am I right?" as "United Arab Emerites" haunts me in my sleep sometimes. As does "Bhutan with the show" "Fuck you!"

youtube

I hope this has done just a bit to sate your need for more Andy Zaltzman. Well done on being good and not drinking for a week, you solid gold legend (I'm mixing my references here, but close enough).

7 notes · View notes

pinkkinoko · 2 years

Text

You know what, I have spent so much of my time sitting here and ignoring the stranger things fandom despite being a big fan, I have sat here on my dumb little beep-bop computer, scrolling mindlessly through billy, harringrove, and stranger things tags in general and ignoring all the vitriol permeating out of them, but it’s honestly exhausting.

Who the fuck are the people going out of their way to start shitting on my goddamn picnic table? I wouldn’t even say I’m scared, I’m just not up to the absolute task of posting fanart, or quips or jack shit about this show because god forbid someone come into my inbox or yell at me in my own tags about “how dare you like this kind of thing”, that is so damn exhausting.

And people act like it’s an affront to them that somebody out there in the big black void likes a fictional character (who quite frankly had a phenomenal actor, an intensely upsetting and sad upbringing, and a wonderful execution throughout the series), that they deem unsalvageable, when really its those same people who go out of their way to complain viciously about those of us who like him, or dare I say enjoy him as a character(?), who are really being unbelievable. This isn’t some little “fun, tease, trolling on you for a shit take”, this is honest to god “you should take a needle to the eye and a lobotomy for good measure for liking this”, and that is honestly the most mean-spirited thing ever.

I also detest hearing people bemoan how much we would hate billy if he was not a conventionally attractive person! Oh, how the earth would shake with the outright self-righteous HATE that an average man who had a horrible personality due to past trauma and era-accurate negative traits would incur from fans the world over! News flash, some people hit the jackpot when it comes to good genetics, would I be attracted to him if he wasn’t “good-looking”? I don’t know, because that isn’t the case! But what I can say, is that even a character that I didn’t find attractive, and wasn’t interested in like Jason still had a rather believable downward spiral because of what happened to his girlfriend; and to me it was extreme, and horrifying, and I may not be waxing poetic about him, but I also don’t have to because I am allowed to not like characters without having to verbally spew bullshit at someone who does. Sometimes I think people must practically orgasm after taking a shit in a toilet from how much pleasure they seem to derive from the act of expelling toxic waste upon someone else’s pastimes.

Learn a little decorum, because I am honestly sick of it.

#stranger things #rant #billy hargrove #harringrove #this fandom is a mess because people have forgotten how to have fun #You don’t even personally have to enjoy it just keep your vomit out of my fruit salad #Nobody is getting saved by your righteous endeavors of enlightening the common folk

39 notes · View notes

snootlestheangel · 7 months

Text

The OCs

Literally just another rant/thing about my OCs (I am tagging you @mike-like-t-scream because this is more or less a continuation of the OC rant you asked for)

Completed with the picrews found on this post here (thank you fren)

Anyways! On to the point of this!

Maxlar Whishling

He's my messy man. Yes the sunglasses are not critical but more or less hiding the fact I couldn't make his eyes purple. The sparkle is because he has Zero Clue What Is Happening But Is Happy To Be Here! This is actually the best I've been able to put my mental image of Max into something tangible for others, minus the more curly aspect of his hair

Malvo Whishling

Will cut you, hates everyone and everything. Judging Constantly. So fed up with everyone's bullshit. Will insult you in the most poetic way possible. This is the exact mental image I have of Malvo, y'all. I cannot explain how happy it makes me that this works so well

Hades Evanchio

So anxious. King of the Night Watchers? Sure. King of Anxiety? Absolutely. Might keel over and die from anxiety, actually. The face he's making is because he's just witnessed his beloved husband provoke the powerful Demon that's supposed to be protecting their mutual friend Maxlar. Probably one of my least favorite depictions of our boy, simply because it doesn't do his hair justice. (I will show y'all the Queen Mother, aka his Mum, and just put the curly of her hair onto our boy here, yeah?)

Devon Blackstone

My big boi <3. Look at him! He and Max absolutely have matching sunglasses, don't judge! They're bros! Party bros to be exact! He's vibing and is best Uncle to Maxlar's kids.

Atendarajo Evanchio

HADES'S FERAL HUSBAND!! Look at those freckles!! Definitely bites!! He's flipping Malvo off cause he hates him and he knows Malvo despises lewd gestures like that. Technically used a picrew designed for female characters, BUT, I couldn't find a good one that conveyed a sense of Feral like this one could. So, ignore the slight curve of his chest. Please.

A Few Random Other Characters!

Andrea Whishling (Maxlar's wife)

LOOK AT HER!!! *joins Maxlar in staring at her with total admiration* She the bestest!

Dorothy "Dot" Baker

Andrea's closest friend! A goofball but also so smart! Bestest Aunt of The Year Every Year

Athena Evanchio

The Queen Mother Herself!!!!!! *screams* She's gorgeous!!! LOOK AT HER!! (I am truly each of these beautiful ladies' husbands every time I look at them. Literally just massive heart eyes like their men). She is badass, takes no shit, and looks good while doing it. Loves her Son-In-Law despite the fact he's a feral little gremlin. She thinks he balances Hades's anxiety out perfectly and reminds her so much of her past husband's high energy personality (Hades's father)

#snootles reveals her ocs #snootles's ocs #snootlestheangel #maxlar whishling #asmalverious whishling #malvo whishling #hades evanchio #devon blackstone #atendarajo evanchio #dorothy baker #athena evanchio #imperfection cast of characters

3 notes · View notes

becca-is-not-well · 1 year

Text

I'm Becca (as you probably figured out) and my friend said I should make a fanfic Tumblr cuz I wrote some for them.

I'll probably be writing mostly xreader fics, whether platonic or romantic. I will write smut, but preferably nothing too vanilla. I am REALLY exposing myself here. NOTHING NON CON.

This is the only time I'll be fully serious: If I write about heavy subjects (depression, anxiety, SH, etc.), it is simply to let people know they aren't alone and to help them through it. I am not in any way romanticizing it. As someone who has been through all three examples and much more, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I've written things for myself about my comfort characters helping me through shit and it genuinely helped me so much, I would love to do that for someone else.

If you know me in real life... no you don't.

All are platonic OR romantic unless specified otherwise

Who I plan on writing for:

Harry potter:

Golden age

Marauders (especially Sirius my beloved)

Fair warning I HATE Snape his "redemption arc" was BULLSHIT

Good omens:

(Said friend got me hooked)

Aziraphale (platonic)

Crowley (platonic)

Aziraphale & Crowley (ineffable husband's with platonic reader)

Riverdale:

(This is lowkey embarrassing oml)

Sweet Pea

Veronica lodge (love her)

Betty Cooper (PLS RAIL ME)

Jughead Jones (I'm weird. I'm a weirdo.)

Sandman:

My friend got me even more obsessed with this holy heck

Morpheus (my skrunkly baby I love him sm)

Death

Desire (is it getting hot in here??)

Matthew(ONLY PLATONIC WHY WOULD WANT ANYTHING ELSE WITH A LITERAL BIRD THE FUCK)

Lucienne (I need a hug from her)

Hob Gadling

Lab Rats:

(Why is this also embarrassing kskeidhxb)

Chase Davenport (been in love with him for forever)

Adam Davenport

Bree Davenport

The Rookie:

(Is this niche??)

Tim Bradford

Lucy Chen

John Nolan

Supernatural:

Sam Winchester (my baby)

Dean Winchester

Castiel (not my cup of tea but I see it)

Twilight:

Jacob Black

Carlisle Cullen (i love DILFs)

Charlie Swan (again. DILF.)

Jasper Cullen (yes. As in the 👁👄👁 mf)

Emmet Cullen

Rosalie Cullen

Big Time Rush:

(Half of these things feel like a confession)

Logan (LOML)

James

Kendall

Carlos (underrated)

Wizards of Waverly Place

(WHY AM I SO EMBARASSED ABT SO MANY OF THESE)

Justin Russo

Alex russo

Harper Finkle

Teen Wolf

Stiles Stilinski

Scott McCall

Isaac Lahey (UNDERRATED)

Derek Hale

Malia Tate

Hunger Games

Finnick Odair

Peeta Mellark

Haymitch Abernathy (I said what I said he's hot fr)

Katniss Everdeen

Gale Hawthorn (not the Canon mf tho he sucks ass)

Other random people:

Billy Russo (punisher)

Caspian (Narnia)

(I fucking love Ben Barnes)

The Darkling (Shadow and Bone)

Alina Starkov (Shadow and Bone)

Spencer Reid (criminal minds) (yes im one of those. Are u surprised?)

Legolas (bAbYy!!) (That's an inside joke)(LOTR/Hobbit)

Clark Kent (smallville)

Mac (MacGyver reboot)

I also like writing poetic type stuff so let me know if u want me to post some of that lol

17 notes · View notes

king-of-knives · 2 years

Text

THIS BLOG IS A MUSEUM OF MADNESS

♡RURU♡20♡ACE♡DESI♡BITCHOE♡XOXO♡

This blog mostly has literature reblogs

My own writing

Random rants

And sometimes just basic bullshit when I go batshit crazy

I'm taking requests for poems prose anything anytime

All my work are under #ruru ki bakwaas kavita

@ruiiins-xf-hcxrtisms that's my side blog

hoe.forknives is my insta handle

You'll mostly find poems, quotes, me fangirling over shit, art, cats, dogs, literally anything Desi, and a Lotta bullshit here.

As incorrectly quoted "we store this love in bullshit sir"

And there the intro post is over

Now if I ever seem ded then I definitely am just in a poetic and mental sense I'll most probably resurrect back sooner or later-

#intro post #:p <3 #love yall

42 notes · View notes

lethologixa · 1 year

Text

About the author

This is a very strictly no-exceptions-allowed 18+ blog.

I do not interact with blank blogs or anyone who does not have their age (or age range) very clearly listed.

I'm a late 20s smut writer.

You're never getting my real name, but you can call me Avery [name subject to change, idk man, we'll see what sticks].

As far as me, I think you deserve to know I am a bi cis woman (she/her), but I like writing from masc and femme perspectives.

That's all you really need to know.

I mostly write breeding kink, religion kink, and some fantasy kink. Themes go into light cnc. I vibe with weird, culty, poetic kind of shit.

If anything I listed here is triggering to you, DNI.

Repeat after me: "if I don't like anything contained within this blog, I will ignore it and leave the author alone."

I've been around Tumblr since literally 2010. I have lived through every petty fandom disagreement that was a life-or-death issue. It's not. I do not care. If I do care, I do not care while I am on this blog.

Leave me out of it. Et fin. That's my one requirement.

I'm here to write horny shit off main. I will write wildly raunchy text posts, I will post anime tiddies, and I will maintain my proclivity for weird fantasy bullshit.

Oh, don't ask for my main. Don't look for my main. You will not find it. I guess that's my second requirement.

Finally, I do not tolerate

Racism

Sexism

The isms in general, really.

Anti LGBTQ sentiments

Forced birth advocates

People who forget that a real flesh and blood person runs this account-- be fucking decent.

This place is going to get really sacrilegious. I put up with enough religion at family get-togethers. Unless you're a horny priest, no.

Squicks -- like, I'm not going to get mad at you for these, but I avoid following or interacting with anything to do with:

Any bodily emission that is not spit, blood, or cum (and spit is on thin fucking ice sometimes). (Not specifically into blood, but not squicked by it either.)

Any raceplay (this is about as far from my thing as it could possibly be)

Detrans (This really is a you do you. Look, I'm a solidly childfree woman who has never been pregnant with an impregnation fetish, so I understand being horny about things that run counter to your identity, but as a cisgendered person, I feel wildly uncomfortable behaving in any non-affirming way, so I will not directly interact with this.)

Ageplay

Furry/animal play

Body horror

I'm sure I have more. Believe it or not, I'm a baby horny who's figuring things out as they go.

P.P.S. I am really, really shy about this shit. I love getting your messages, but I may not respond. That doesn't mean you did something wrong, I still read it. (and probably liked it a lot.) ;)

#about me #pinned post

15 notes · View notes

braywashed · 1 year

Text

i’ll stop being a depressing text post andy soon but

just long, long dramatic introspective stuff i need to get off my chest re: this past week/moving forward

it’s been officially over a week now already

and i’m very much.... starting to feel the guilt

not the ‘i should have done more!’ guilt, though i am cringing every time someone tells me i ‘gave him a great life’ or anything of the sort, because it will never feel that way to me. even if KNOW how much i tried to do, it won’t ever feel like it was enough or even good.

the guilt of ‘as much as this hurts, a weight has also been lifted’

the fact that i had been watching his chest when he was asleep to see if he was still breathing since i was 16, convinced he wouldn’t last long. the fact that i have given up so much of my own life to be here for so many years. the forced interactions with people i hate. the remarks he’d make about how it ‘should have been him’ (and.... to sound awful... it should have) and how he wished he was dead already. the drinking.

i don’t like the word burden, because it wasn’t a burden. for all his shit, and as south as things went, he was my dad and i have great memories and i love him. i chose to do what i did and keep doing it. but i would be lying if i said i hadn’t considered from time to time what things would change *after*. and i would be lying if i said i didn’t think those changes, would for the most part, be positive.

i’m going to be very lost for awhile, and weirdly lonely. i know that. it will get dark. i’ve been doing this for so long i don’t know what to do now. i hate looking at the room he used to confine himself to because it’s empty. i walk in the door expecting him to be there, always there, like a piece of the furniture, and he’s not. the only purpose i had for a long time is gone. the constant.

so i’m just doing... whatever i’d normally be doing when i’m not dealing with the papers, and the phone calls, and the awkward social stuff. sitting on the computer, watching tv, laughing about bullshit.

but aside from a few slight teary moments, i haven’t cried since i got home that night. and i know part of that is because physically, i just couldn’t anymore. i can’t now. and i know that, once the initial couple weeks pass, and everything quiets down, and it becomes all the more obvious that he’s never going to be here again settles back in, that things will probably be emotional again.

i keep having a moment of ‘this feels bad, but this should feel *worse*.’

it shouldn’t be so easy to be doing normal shit.

but it’s not.... i don’t know.... unfamiliar? i’m still doing things mostly independently. the way i work around them is just different now. and i knew it was coming for so, so long. even the past couple weeks i knew i needed to start mentally preparing for shit to change.

and i know despite the guilt, and the hurt, that things *will* be better in some way for this. because i can have my life now. and for better or worse it will be, for the first time, *my* life.

and i also know.... he went to the hospital for a reason, despite his stubbornness. he knew it was too much. and i think he knew i couldn’t deal with the extent of what was going to happen if it continued. and i don’t think he wanted me to have to.

i think he kept telling people not to hang out in the hospital at his expense for a reason.

there’s always gonna be the voice in the back of my head reminding me of him being drunk after my mom passed, saying i didn’t seem like i cared because i didn’t seem upset. wondering if he would think that now. (of course NOW i’m crying, stupid waxing poetically on this garbage site nonsense.)

but i do think he knew at the end and didn’t want that for me.

of course there’s a bunch of... other stress now. i’m going to need some income, which i haven’t had since The Before Times. with a still not great knee. gotta pay the bills, and fix the car more, and keep this house liveable (for now. i’m not making any rash decisions. i know just packing up my sad excuse for a life and trying to take off immediately is a horrible, braindead idea.) i know the world/my trash immune system is still a concern as well. and i can’t just go back to what i was doing immediately, at the same capacity, because of bs business politics.

i’m still going to give myself a few weeks. i can afford that. and i’ve done the math on what i absolutely *need* for the time being.

and my aunt bought me a washer, my brother bought me some groceries, claims have been made about fixing more shit in the house. fuck, an internet friend i barely exchange two words with every few months anymore fucking *called* me last night to ask if i was doing okay. i’m not saying this to brag, i’m saying i’m lucky to have support that i honestly so often doubt exists and i want to remember it when shit gets tough.

but i also need time to grieve in whatever form that takes after the initial bullshit is done so i don’t rush into things and then completely fall apart out of the blue. i’m lucky enough to feel i have that time, and force myself to try not to worry too much too soon, even if it is constantly there in my mind.

i think it’s going to be the weird stuff for a bit. stuff like going to the dentist the other day because i couldn’t reschedule again and being asked what i do for work and saying ‘oh, i don’t right now. i was a caretaker until saturday.’

going grocery shopping and not instinctively grabbing the same five things that were always on the list every single week and therefor not having a fucking clue what to get.

just trying to remember it’s okay for that shit to be weird. it’s okay to not be a trainwreck 24/7, but to sometimes be one over the smallest things.

the thing he told me once that has always stuck with me, back when he knew me better than anyone somehow before that all changed, was ‘you know, you don’t have to be brave all the time.’

i’ve been trying to be brave for so goddamn long. through so much fucking loss.

i just need to remind myself that it’s okay to be a fucking mess for a bit, in whatever form that takes. do what needs to be done, but be okay with whatever comes. accept fucking help and not be afraid to ask for it. sleep all goddamn day if i have to. and learn to fucking take a moment to breathe without worrying how it will come off to people who don’t know what i was always coming home to. i’m not fucking perfect. i never was, i never tried to be, and i certainly won’t be now. but i don’t have to be.

i just gotta forgive myself for it.

for a lot of things, really.

#long post with apologies #none of this makes sense or reads coherently and im not sure i even had a point #other than everyone deals with this shit differently and sometimes the pressure to act a certain way makes you doubt your own feelings #and that situations like this are complex in a lot of ways.#and that i need to learn to be a person.#as dumb as that sounds.

4 notes · View notes