#my parents and sister are going to ca for a week so this is literally the last full day i’ll see her and this is what i get

[ashwhowrites]

ric idea:

nancy has fallen in love with her ex boyfriend’s sister and she doesn’t know what to do. she’s scared, she’s confused, and she talks to steve because they’re friends now and she wants him to know that the breakup was never his fault, she couldn’t love him that way because she literally couldn’t love him that way. she’s gay. and definitely in love with his sister.

- 🦋

I LOVE NANCY, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING HER

Steve is a sweetheart and everyone is happy

Not proofread

Nancy Wheeler and Steve Harrington were always the talk of the town. Their relationship had a spotlight and eyes watching everywhere. Then she broke his heart, spilling the truth that she felt as if their love wasn't real love. She didn't feel the things she was supposed to. She didn't feel the things Steve felt for her.

In a selfish way, she thought maybe Steve was the problem, maybe she just can't love him. But then Nancy faced the same problem with Jonathan. Every kiss made her cold, her stomach turn, and her heart racing with anxiety. This isn't what love was supposed to feel like.

Nancy Wheeler wasn't capable of love, and with her parents, it seemed to run in the family.

Steve had an older sister, she moved out at eighteen and moved as far away from her parents as she could. She offered a place for Steve to crash whenever he needed, even though she was far, their relationship was close.

She didn't come home a lot, so when she first met the one and only Nancy, she understood why Steve was still chasing this girl. Nancy Wheeler was gorgeous. Her dark curly hair, beautiful bright eyes, and pink lips.

Steve called many nights about his heartbreak over Nancy, and Y/N felt guilty for finding herself wanting to know Nancy more. But she couldn't forget that this was the girl who broke her brother's heart.

"Nance, this is Y/N, my older sister, Y/N this is Nance," Steve introduced the two. A smirk formed on his face as Nancy blinked and didn't move an inch.

"Nice to meet you," Y/N said politely, moving her hand forward to grasp Nancy's soft hand in hers. Ignoring the way Nancy's touch erupted butterflies in her stomach.

Nancy had no idea why she was stuck frozen to the video store's floor. Her feet couldn't move, her hand was in Y/N's grip and she didn't want to let go. Nancy's heart was beating fast, some type of fluttering in her stomach, and her tongue refused to make words.

And to Nancy's fear, that's how she felt every time she was in Y/N's presence.

~~~

Y/N has been around Hawkins for a month, she grew close to Robin, met the famous Dustin, and a new guy named Eddie. She never heard much about him but he was an interesting character.

Y/N found herself in a rant with Robin, both girls oblivious to the people around them.

"Alright King Steve, think I got a shot?" Eddie smirked, nudging Steve's arm as he looked Y/N up and down. Nancy's ears perked up, finding herself moving closer to Steve and Eddie. A weird feeling in her stomach.

"Not a chance, Munson." Steve scoffed, laughing at Eddie's offended expression. Nancy wasn't sure why, but she felt a small amount of relief that Steve found Eddie and Y/N hilarious.

"Oh come on, no amount of charm? What if she wasn't your sister?" Eddie tried

"Munson, even if she wasn't my sister, she'd still be gay," Steve smirked, watching as Eddie's face morphed into surprise.

Nancy also did not understand why hearing that Y/N Harrigton was into girls made her face flush and her palms sweat.

"Oh great, so Buckley gets her," Eddie groaned, walking away.

Nancy felt her blood grow hot, her eyes locked on Y/N and Robin's body language. Were they flirting? Fuck, did Robin like her?

Wait....why did Nancy care?

~~~

Nancy spent the past week tossing and turning every night. Her brain was trying to figure out these different types of feelings she has been dealing with.

With sleep out of the question, Nancy got dressed in warm clothes and decided to take a trip to a diner. Journal and keys in hand, she started her car.

The diner was dead, just as she expected it to be so late at night. With a sigh, she took a seat in the back booth. An older lady asked her what she'd like. She put in her order and began to write. Writing out every thought, writing out every emotion she has been feeling. Everything that made her confused.

"Seems like you are in love," Y/N's voice came from behind her. Nancy felt her blood go cold and her body froze.

Nancy quickly slammed her journal shut, turning around with a sharp glare.

"Privacy, much?" Nancy scoffed, turning back around. Y/N just read all the different ways she made Nancy feel. Nancy felt like she could die in embarrassment.

"You're right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have read over your shoulder/" Y/N apologized, shaking her head at her own rude behavior.

Y/N stared at the back of Nancy's curls, the words on the page still fresh in Y/N's mind.

"Why do you think I'm in love?" Nancy asked, looking over her shoulder at the girl. She looked beautiful, also dressed in sweats. Nancy assumed she must have been struggling to sleep as well.

"Well," Y/N started, walking towards the other side of the booth and taking a seat across from Nancy. "I believe you are in love because you sound so scared of what you don't understand. Feeling different things, things you thought you would have felt with someone else, I'm guessing what you wished you felt for Steve?" Y/N asked

It wasn't what she wished she felt for Steve, it was what she should have felt for Steve, and for Jonathan.

"I don't think I could love him in that kind of way," Nancy admitted.

"Well, whoever you wrote about, you can love in that kind of way, because you clearly do." Y/N smiled, offering her hand. Nancy felt her palms grow sweaty, wiping her hands on her pants before holding Y/N's hand.

Y/N was right, Nancy was in love....with Steve's fucking sister.

~~~

It's been a week since that night Nancy held Y/N's hand in the diner booth. Nancy understood her feelings and that made it worse. Because now she wants Y/N more than anything. Nancy felt like there had to be a rule to not date your ex's sibling and the way she broke Steve's heart, she cannot imagine him ever being okay with this.

But Steve took Nancy for a spin. A smirk on his face as he walked over to Nancy as she searched through the romantic section of the store.

"A little birdie told me you were in love," Steve teased, poking his fingers into Nancy's sides.

"I am not!" Nancy argued, laughing as her sides tickled from Steve's touch.

"Oh stop it, it is so obvious. You have that look in your eyes, a look you never had for me. But you had it for her the second you met her." Steve spoke softly, he wasn't upset at all. He moved on from Nancy months ago, he understood he just wasn't the one she loved.

"Steve, I'm so sorry. I don't know how or why, and I didn't plan to .."She cut herself off, was she really going to admit she was in love with her ex's sister to his face?

"Didn't plan to fall in love with my sister? It's okay to admit it, Nance." Steve answered for her.

"I've been trying to figure out why we couldn't work, and it's me. I couldn't love you, Steve, because I couldn't love you. I couldn't love Jonathan. I was scared that I just couldn't feel love, but I think I was trying to find it in the wrong place." Nancy admitted.

"I forgive you, and I appreciate your apology. You are not a bad person Nance, you just had to find yourself. This whole town predicted you would become a Harrington, no one said it had to be because of me." Steve said with a wink, nudging Nancy towards Y/N as she walked through the door.

"She hates romance, try comedy," Steve offered his advice, pushing her right into Y/N's arms.

Steve watched with a smile as the girls blushed and laughed.

"I hate to say it, but you are a fucking good guy, Harrington," Robin said with a sigh, throwing her arm over Steve's shoulder.

"I'll find my girl someday, it's time Nancy found hers."

#nancy wheeler fic #nancy wheeler x reader #nancy wheeler fanfic #nancy wheeler stranger things #nancy wheeler angst x female reader #nancy wheeler angst #nancy wheeler fluff x reader #nancy wheeler fluff #nancy wheeler x female reader #nancy wheeler angst x reader #nancy wheeler fluff x female reader #nancy wheeler x female y/n #ashwhowrites

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hi cas, it’s grieving anon. Here for the vibes today. TAYLOR SWIFT… I mean… 

So, ive had a few weird things happen. I got distracted and fell over, and injured myself so yay… and then I had the weirdest thing happen.

So I mentioned I got nightmares right? That I woke my mum up by shouting and sitting up in my sleep. So I have a bunk bed (small room- needed space for a desk). And a few days ago I had this creepy dream and legit propelled myself out of bed- still half asleep and panicking. Then had to climb back in. 

And last night I literally crawled from lying down to the other end of my bed and climbed over the bars and fell OVER and OFF my bed to the floor 😭

You know the length of like, a normal door? It was like that far that I fell. I woke up both my parents. 

IM 16! I shouldn’t be flying out of bed. Luckily i’m not too hurt tho. I remember the dream, I was just climbing over a fence, I couldn’t feel the floor but I knew it was there so I let go, and then I WOKE UP ON MY FUCKIGN FLOOR. 

Like whyyyyy.

Anyway. So Long, London. My first favourite. “HOW MUCH SAD DID YOU, think I had, did you, think I had in me, HOW MUCH TRAGEDY?”

Then, of course, I Can Do It With A Broken Heart. AMAZING. Yes.

And, Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? 

So far, they’re my fav but i’m sure the others will claw their way into my heart too. 

Anyway, my sisters been annoying me. She seems annoyingly fine. She called all the injury’s i’ve been getting “pre-exam” injuries… NO! They’re post fucking death injuries. 

I know her, I know she’s suffering in silence. But it means whenever I see her, she seems fine. And it’s fucking annoying. 

I don’t know anymore. My mum, she said her nightmares went away after my Nans death when she went to a grief therapist or something. i’ve never gone to a therapist. I don’t know how it’d feel. And, I don’t really have the time. 

But I don’t want to wake up on my floor again. 

I feel like I blinked and my life became this mess I can’t control. And I have no energy to anymore. I lost all my fire. I used to strive to learn and care and participate. Now i’d happily rot away. Why bother. 

Anyway (that’s like the third time i’ve said that now 🤦‍♀️) “IM JUST GETTING COLOUR BACK INTO MY FACE IM JUST MAD AS HELL CAUSE I LOVED THIS PLACE” 

Writing these at the end of some of my days has been very stress relieving so thank you. I’ve bullied myself into not picking the scab on the horrid massive cut I got from falling over. I’ve refrained from pressing into the bruises I got from sleep falling/climbing off my stupid bed. 

“IS IT A WONDER I BROKE. LETS HEAR ONE MORE JOKE”

 This isn’t even my usual music vibe 😭

“DONT YOU WORRY FOLKS, WE TOOK OUT ALL HER TEETH” Iconic. 

“YOU SHOULD BE. YOU SHOULD BE.”

“YOU WOULDN’T LAST AN HOUR IN THE ASYLUM WHERE THEY RAISED ME”

Literally everything i’ve tried to do this week has failed. School work, running, sleeping.

I’m so tired. 

Hi hon! I'm so glad to hear from you! <3

Nightmares after a loss are SUPER common, and you're right to know that they don't have to do with exams. As far as therapy, I know you said you don't have time, and I used to say the same thing but then I got to thinking...

I wasted SO much time being sad, run down, anxious, depressed. Like I probably spent at least an hour a day in anxiety paralysis, you know? So devoting an hour a week to STOPPING those symptoms actually saves me time, in the long run.

It may not feel the same for you, but it's something to think about! <3

I'm so glad you like TTPD. Using music to cope is also super helpful. Screaming lyrics is so...emotionally rejuvinating.

Keep messaging me <3 I'm thinking of you!

#ask #asks #ask cas #gri #grieving anon

[judasofsuburbia]

Jargyle summer challenge if you would be so kind!

HI DOT<33 my jargyle boys I LOVE THEM!!

this fic is for @thefreakandthehair's summer challenge and follows jonathan joining argyle's family on a camping trip in the redwoods state parks in CA!! jonathan has trauma from his camping trips with his father growing up so he's very hesitant to go but argyle persuades him to "get over the breakup blues" and come along. slowly over the trip, he realizes that he's safe and cared for and it's all due to the beautiful man standing beside him<3 so it's also jonathan coming to terms with his sexuality! woo!

here is a little snippet of jargyle camping trip!! viviana is argyle's 16 year old sister btw<3

“C'mon dude, it'll be fun,” Argyle begs. “My parents love you, Vivi is coming—” “Viviana hates me.” “Vivi hates joy, magic, and fun so don't take that personally.” “But it's like your family trip,” Jonathan whines. “It's for you guys. Bonding time.” “You're family too,” Argyle grins. “Mama literally called you mijo last week.“ Mijo. Son.  Jonathan blinks at him, feeling his face get a little hot. “She did?” “Mhm. You're one of us, dude. Plus, if you go, that means we get our own tent and I don't have to share with Vivi.” Jonathan huffs a small laugh and sighs. “Alright, fine. But I'm packing my own things. You go way too crazy with my clothes.” “You just have no color, man. Wash yourself out in all this bleak plaid.” “Hey!”

ask me about my wips!!

#MY BABIES I LOVE THEMMMMM I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEM #jargyle camping trip #wip weekend #asks

[sunflower-live]

.

#i told my mom that i didnt want my brother to have a party while they were gone #and it ended in her screaming at me and telling me that i’m the reason our family doesnt get along #and that my friends dont actually like me because im mean #and this is why i moved across the country #and why im never coming back #my parents and sister are going to ca for a week so this is literally the last full day i’ll see her and this is what i get #like im so insecure about having friends because shes always telling me how nobody likes me #also i would like to mention that my brother is a felon who attempted a murder suicide and last time he had friends over #one stole my moms jewlery so #mine #not 1d

[joviewinchester]

Part 2 to the supernatural MBAV crossover ✌️ Also this is on crack so I’m sorry in advance. Lol.

“Oh my gosh, Jack! We’ve been living here for two weeks! Do you know what that means?! We actually live here.” Y/N said excitedly.

“Yeah. I like it here I hope we stay awhile.”

“I have a boyfriend now! Do you know how cool that is?”

“You what?!” Dean exclaimed.

“Don’t eavesdrop! It’s none of your concern.”

“Yes it is. I’m your dad!”

“Moms handle the boys and the periods, and she promised me she’d visit sometime this week, so therefore, it’s none of your concern.”

“Since when have you had contact with Amara?”

“Since like a month ago. Uncle Chuck taught her about the world of cellphones. She promised she’d drop by for at least an hour. You don’t think she’s going to flake on me do you?” Tears welled up in her eyes. Dean held his arms out for a hug.

“Hey, come here, kid. Your mom has done a lot of bad things, but if there’s one thing I know for sure about her, it’s that she never says something unless she means it. Now about the boyfriend thing…”

“His name is Benny, he likes Star Wars, and he’s a calculus nerd. Good enough?”

“Come on Dean. Calculus nerd? You have nothing to worry about.” Sam chimed in.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, Sammy.”

“Does that mean that me and Jack can go hang out with him and our other friends tonight?” Y/N asked hopefully, putting on the puppy eyes she had inherited from her uncle.

“Fine, but don’t be out any later than 1 am okay?”

“Got it. Would you be mad if we left right now?”

“No. It’s fine. Go ahead, but Jack she is not to be left in a room alone with this punk. Got it? Good.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “Drama queen.” She muttered.

“I heard that!”

“Good!”

All of their friends had already arrived by the time they got there. The only thing missing was pizza.

“Dude the delivery guy was so slow last time though. Someone should just go get it. I’m starving.” Ethan complained.

“Not it.” Y/N and Erica said at the same time. Benny and Jack both looked at Sarah.

“Um…don’t look at me. I’m babysitting.” She gestured to Jane who was sitting peacefully watching Dusk.

“I’ll go.” Jack volunteered. Y/N tossed him the keys to the Jeep.

“Don’t wreck my baby.” She said sternly, laying on the floor beside Jane.

“Careful. You sound like your dad.” Jack joked. Y/N threw a pillow at him.

“Okay. Okay. I’m going.”

“So this Dusk thing, what is it even about?” Y/N asked. Erica immediately jumped in.

“Oh my god. It is so good. You’ve never seen Dusk? It’s about a human who falls in love with a vampire and vice versa, but there’s also this werewolf that’s in love with the girl, but she ends up choosing the vampire because, duh, she’s in love with him, but anyways it’s so good and you have to watch all of them with me some time.”

“I’ve seen the Vampire Diaries but I’ve never watched this.”

“Oh my God. Don’t you just love the Salvatore brothers?”

“I love Damon, but I’m not huge on Stefan. Oh and Katherine is so hot, but my favorites are Kol and Kai.”

“You have a thing for murderers with sociopath tendencies and you’re dating Benny?” Erica asked.

“Okay, just leave me alone. Kai is hot and he had reason to murder his entire family.” Literally the entire room was just looking back and forth between them in confusion.

“Remind me to never leave you two alone.” Sarah said.

“Did you just say murdered his entire family casually in a sentence?” Benny asked.

“Yes. If you guys watched the show you would totally get it. Although Jack doesn’t and I made him watch it but then again his biological dad is literally satan-“

“Wait. Wait. Wait. First of all, Castiel isn’t his biological dad? Second of all what is his biological father a serial killer or something?” Ethan asked.

That was when Y/N registered what she had said. “It’s not my place to tell you guys about his biological dad, so like please don’t tell him I told you anything.”

Everyone agreed and dropped it. Soon after Jack came back with the pizza. “Who’s hungry?”

“I am.” Erica whispered passive aggressively under her breath. Sarah elbowed her and gave her a look, mouthing the words shut up.

Benny, Ethan, Jack, and Jane all grabbed a slice.

“Want one?” Benny asked.

“No I’m fine. Thanks though.” Y/N said. Her mood had noticeably dropped, and it was because she was thinking of her mother. What if she didn’t come like she’d promised? Well, at least her cousin Gabriel promised a visit soon, despite her father’s protest.

“Hey what’s wrong?” Sarah asked her.

“It’s stupid. My mom told me that she was going to visit me sometime this week, but I’m worried she won’t show up.” At that very moment Amara appeared in the room. Now there was a lot of explaining to be done.

“Holy shit! Who are you and how did you do that?!” Ethan exclaimed.

“Wow. Gorgeous alert.” Erica said, ignoring the fact that a woman she didn’t know had just appeared out of nowhere. Y/N immediately jumped up and hugged her.

“I missed you, mom.” She muttered into her hair.

“Mom?!” They all asked at once.

“Woah. Woah. Woah. So what are you then?” Benny asked.

“Why are you guys not very freaked out about this?” Jack asked.

“We know about the supernatural, but nothing like this.” Ethan said still in shock.

“So, you made friends? I’m proud of you. How’s your dad doing?” Amara said.

“Same old. Same old. Sad, confused, protective.”

“Wait how do you guys know about the supernatural?” Jack asked ignoring the side conversation.

“That depends. How do you feel about vampires, warlocks, and seers?” Benny asked.

“Wait! You’re vampires?!” Y/N exclaimed suddenly.

“Not all of us. Just Erica and Sarah.” Ethan said.

“You guys haven’t even the ones killing people have you, because that would suck because then I’d have to kill you.”

“No, but really?! Kill us?!” Sarah exclaimed.

“My family hunts the supernatural! You guys have got to stay on the downlow or my dad and my uncle will straight up kill you and not think twice, please be careful!”

“Are warlocks on that list?” Benny asked.

“Wait, you’re a waflock and you didn’t tell me?!”

“We still don’t know what you two are and I think I speak for everyone when I say I would like to know!”

Y/N sighed. This would be a long conversation. She took in a deep breath. “So, my dad is the vessel of the archangel Michael aka the person Michael needed to possess to win the apocalypse which already happened by the way. My dad kind of saved the world. My Uncle Sam on the other hand is the vessel of Lucifer who is Jack’s biological dad which makes Jack a nephilim, and by the way Lucifer is actually pretty chill. But that’s beside the point. This is Amara my mom aka the darkness aka god’s sister which kind of makes me a Demigod which makes god aka Chuck my uncle and Lucifer, Michael and Gabriel my cousins which makes Jack my second cousin and also by the way Castiel is an angel too. Oh and also my dad is kind of gay for Cas but neither of them will admit but you know, subtext.”

They all looked at her with wide eyes. “If you plan on sticking with me welcome to my dysfunctional family.” She announced.

“Are they okay?” Amara whispered.

“Maybe. I don’t know.” Y/N whispered back.

“Ya know what? Cool. Also can we just talk about how Y/N has hot parents? MILF alert. Like it finally makes sense why she is so pretty.” Erica said casually.

“What’s a MILF?” Amara asked her. Y/N face palmed.

“It’s good. It’s a compliment, but don’t say it to anyone , ever.” Y/N tried to explain.

“Anyways…I guess I’m gonna go and let you all process this interaction. Benny, call me. Bye!” They all left, and Y/N insisted that they take the Jeep and not just teleport.

When they got back to the house everyone kind of just looked at each other awkwardly. “Mom and I are gonna go…what do normal teenage girls do with their non supernatural mothers? Paint their nails? We’ll go do that. See you soon.”

Dean looked at Jack waiting for an explanation. “I’ve got…homework. Yeah. Anyways bye.”

“What just happened?” Sam asked.

Dean shrugged. “Don’t know. Don’t care.”

#mbav imagine #supernatural imagine #my babysitters a vampire imagine #my babysitter’s a vampire #ethan morgan #sarah fox #erica jones #benny weir x reader #benny weir #amara supernatural #dean winchester x daughter!reader #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel novak #jack kline #chuck shurley #gabriel spn #lucifer spn #michael spn

[an0nymousghost]

simblr asks v2

here are my answers! find the questions here.

i wrote soo much ahaha. like however much you think i wrote, i wrote more than that. imo everything i write is gold though

1. are you going to buy the new pack (cottage living) when it comes out? no, it looks really nice but i legit never ever buy packs at launch, especially cause this one is a expansion and it will probably go on sale at some point

2. do you p*rate your dlc or buy it legitimately? buy it legitimately 👌

3. what’s your favorite world? brindleton bay, it gives like seaside cottage vibes. willow creek is good but it’s boring. 

4. if you use a queue, how many posts per day do you set it as? 3 or 4. i used to do like 12 lmaoo what even was wrong with me

5. do you watch sims on youtube? yes, i watch mainly malixa, oshinsims, and msgryphi

6. what are your thoughts on the most recent pack? (dream home decorator) those sectional couches look good! but honestly im kinda annoyed because now it’s even harder to have all the items filled in when i place lots from the gallery. like i’m just saying like a lot of builds will use that pack probably and if i don’t get it then i can’t really use builds/save files 

7. how many packs/kits do you own? lemme count

expansion: all - 10/10 game: 5/10 stuff: 9/18 kits: none xo

24/38 - 63%

8. what’s your origin id? is it the same as your url? 🤗 it’s in my title, it’s celeschul. it doesn’t look that nice in my title but i use celeschul in my package files and i’m guessing people search things like, “celeschul penny hair” or something like that in order to find my cc- so i keep it in there so the search results are easier. i do want to change it though..

but no it’s also not the same! well i mean it’s the username i use for cc. my origin id used to be an0nymousghost but i changed it. i wonder if anyone’s taken that one?

9. is your simblr your sideblog or main blog? main blog ✌️ my old blog @stardze​ is a main blog as well.

my old old simblr was a sideblog but it had like 1 follower and it literally a bot so i don’t think that counts. i have a multifandom sideblog though 

10. do you have a cc finds blog? i wish. i was thinking bout it earlier and that would be sooo neat but sometimes i download stuff that doesn’t have a tumblr post attached to it, and also it’s stressful to keep up with so nah

11. are you wcif friendly? yes sir. in fact i bring the trouble of wcifs onto myself but doing them even when nobody asked.

12. what’s your favorite sized household to play with? (ex. 1 sim, 4 sims) gonna have to think on this one, honestly 1 sim is really fun and stuff goes by so fast. doing stuff with astrid when she was on her own, it was much more efficient. 

for families, i haven’t done that in a while actually. 5, 2 parents and 3 kids is cute tho. why did i write this this is honestly such a hard question

13. if you have c&d, do you play with pets? i feel like i haven’t played with cats and dogs in forever. honestly i just have no paitence. noelle fae was supposed to get a cat (there’s a food bowl + cat bed in her house) but when summer vacation started, the amount of time i spent playing ts4 decreased a lot. (this doesn’t really make sense, i have a lot more time. honestly it just has to do with my recent obsession with a certain anime/manga and some other personal thing)

i did random nightmares in may though and i had pets frequently. g5 didn’t because sofia scarlett lived in an apartment, but g2/3/4 had cici, and g1 had all the cats. but that was back in march so it’s been a while.

14. what lifespan do you use? i really want to do aging off but then i feel like it drags on. but aging legit stresses me out, sometimes i just want to sit down and do some cas stuff but i only have 2 hours in real time and there’s like 4 days left till one of my sims’ birthdays. 

15. if you own a lot of packs, how many of them have you actually played through? just so everyone is aware this question was made for me

i feel like eps require a specific save made for testing them out, but the only save i’ve ever made for an ep is noelle fae’s get famous save. 

that is literally a lie - i made a save for island living with one of my 100bc kids, maisie acapella. i did actually post it on tumblr BUT then i deleted all the posts BUT i reblogged them on my alt account BUT i privated my alt account so i honestly forgot about it

i have never played through discover university or watched anyone do it on youtube, i’ve read gerbits’ story about it so i think i’m pretty qualified. i’ve always wanted to do one with periwinkle acapella but i never got around to it

another ep i know nothing about is get to work

i tried doing a eco life playthrough but i hadn’t watched any videos and i was like..what is going on. so i quit lolx d ;;;;; i mentioned it but the whimsy stories legacy was the first time i had played with the eco lifestyle features so technically i think i know what im doing

i got outdoor retreat literally on monday of this week so i haven’t played through it yet. 

jungle adventure i still don’t know what’s going on. i remember last year before i bought the pack i was brainstorming, and wanted to do a ja playthrough with luna and cedar, who are a couple who i did a random legacy with and it was all queued to post when i deleted everything (if you’re wondering why, it’s because my queue was literally 200+ posts). except this time i didn’t save them to my sideblog so i lost them. 

i still havent had a restaurant in dine out 

also never did the vet thing from cats and dogs

i have no idea what that rock climbing thing is from snowy escape but i did most of the other stuff because rn g5

city living i did through psc stage 5 and also it was the first pack i bought anyways

the rest of them are either stuff packs or i ended up playing them through casual gameplay (seasons, parenthood)

16. what do you do as you play sims? (ex. listen to music) i listen to music most of the time, or listen to commentary youtube videos because i am an alpha chad. i also used to talk with my friends on voice call but i don’t do that anymore 🥲

17. which sims challenges have you tried? random legacy, whimsy stories, perfect sim challenge, 100 baby, legacy (just the plain get-to-10-gens one), random nightmares, berry zodiac, astrology legacy, apocalypse

i feel like im forgetting some.. honestly most of the stuff i did before simblr was either 100 baby (i love that challenge) or random saves that lasted for 2 seconds. 

18. do you like the new(ish) hair swatches? nah. 

i do appreciate that most cc hairs have a true (ish) black, thank god! and the fact that the hair update is what inspired me to update and fix a bunch of hairs with different issues is pretty nice. but will i use them? no. 

plus it takes up like 5 gb? depending on how many packs you have.

19. post the latest screenshot you took 📸

i live in cas

20. what is the cc/ingame hair that looks the most like your own? i think that dream home decorator side part hair looks a lot like my hair. honestly i havent see much like my hair but that one is kinda-? close

21. who is your favorite sim of yours and what is their story? noelle and alari fae i think! 

link to post

noelle is blonde and has blue-grey eyes. she wears purple contacts pretty often though (because she wants to 😌)

alari has light brown hair that is kinda curly, and she’s got pretty vibrant blue eyes. 

they’re sisters, alari is 3 years older than noelle. noelle was 19 and alari was 22 when they got spotted

they worked as models when they were young adults. their jobs involved dyeing their hair blue/pink, and they would model like clothes and stuff. anyways, they were pretty successful. like not ultra famous but they had enough money to not work for the rest of their lives. 

their modeling group was made of 4 girls, the others were named paisley autumn and they were green and red, respectively. some things are: 

paisley and alari started dating during this 

autumn was a single mother to a little girl named destiny

noelle dated many people during this but never ended up finding the one <3

when their contract ended after like 6 years, paisley and alari went to go live together and noelle decided to get into acting. so thats when get famous playthrough started!

there’s more but basically they’re like oc’s with sims on the side. xoxo

22. if you use cc, are there any cc creators that you have like ALL of their items? this is such a good question! i hoard hair very heavily (my folder is 11gb) i so i have like 97% from most of the popular hair creators. 

i think i had legitimately EVERYTHING from simstrouble though, i went through multiple times to check and i also have all of her retired stuff. 

i have everything from ridgeport i think-? because of the fact that she uploaded all her stuff in one big zip. 

i think that’s it.. for a long time i also had everything by clumsyalienn, but then i ended up deleting it and only keeping my faves. 

and looking at my collection, maybe ah00b? i might be missing a couple but i at least have like 99%.

23. what’s one pack you think is underrated? dine out, it’s laggy af yes but it’s such a nice thing for my sims to do. 

24. what are your favorite sims stories/legacies? melons by gerbits always and forever

this question was inspired by this ask anyways so 

25. if you could change one small thing about ts4, what would it be? most of my suggestions are pretty complex but literally just - when you add tray files, they appear at the top. my life would be so much easier

this took me literal hours to answer

#replies #replying to MYSELF

[bnhablessings]

Would you possibly do another Aizawa requests ☺️ R is a student of class 1-A and when they asking parents about letting students come to the dorms he and all might go to her house and they realise she actually lives alone with her dog and younger brother or sister and Aizawa decides to take them both under his wing and one day R just suddenly turns around and calls him bad accidentally

This sounded too cute to pass up! Apologies for me taking forever to get to it! :’) When it comes to Dadzawa content I like to go all out (that means it’s probably messy) so hopefully, you enjoy it, anon!

I named the reader’s brother Haru because I adore that name

(Dadzawa) Aizawa Shouta x Female!Student!Reader

Warnings: Just a smidge of angst (Fluff that will giveyour heart a dose of love)

Words: 1,914

 “Aizawa-Sensei and All Might-Sensei? What are you doinghere?” You question softly a bit too surprised by their current appearance atyour house.

All Might is the one to speak, “We have been speaking to allof our students’ families about an important issue. May we come in to speakwith your guardian?”

Oh no. This is not happening to you. You are desperate intrying to come up with an excuse that you don’t notice their concerned gazesfrom your unusual quietness. You are after all one of their most enthusiasticstudents so it worries them that you are quite the opposite right now than youwould be in school.

“(Name)! I finished! Can you look it over?” A childish boy’svoice calls for you snapping you from your thoughts.

The nerves are eating at you as you ask in vain, “Is there achance that you can call or stop by some other time?”

“Negative. This needs to be taken care of,” Aizawa statescalmly.

With a defeated sigh you let your teachers enter your house.They take their shoes off the door per your request and they follow you to yourkitchen where your little brother, of the age five, waits. They’re surprised tosee that it’s just him and an old Shiba Inu, whose tag reads Fluffy, in thehouse so far.

They are quiet as they observe you look over your brother’shomework. You give your brother the biggest smile and say, “Nice job! You didit perfectly! As promised you can go ahead and watch TV. But first, would youlike to meet All Might and Eraserhead?”

At the question, the poor boy freezes before he shakes withexcitement for finally noticing the older males in the room. You laugh lightlywith joy from seeing your brother happy.

“Aizawa, All Might, this is my little brother Haru. He’s abig fan of both of you. He’s kind of like Midoriya in that sense,” You murmur.

You hold in your giggles as Haru bows repeatedly beforemaking a dash straight to the living room.

“Seems like a sweet kid,” All Might says with a smile.

You just nod absentmindedly as you place Haru’s homework inhis backpack on the counter. The two teachers stare at you surprised at yourcalm demeanor. You seem so much more mature compared to when you are in class.

However, you also look… fatigued. It just raises furtherquestions between the two.

“(Last Name), where are your parents?” Aizawa says thequestion you’ve been dreading.

You let out a heavy sigh as you pick up a few postcards thatlay on the counter and simply hand them to the man. Its multiple postcards froma few states in America. Aizawa and All Might look through them and notice thesimple note on the back that just says ‘Love you’.

“How long have they been gone?” Aizawa questions as AllMight looks saddened.

You shrug your shoulders as you reply, “A few months now.We’re fine if that’s what you’re wondering. They send us money and they stillpay the bills and have our neighbors check-in on us.”

This isn’t fine and you know it. Aizawa lets out a heavysigh as he shares a look with his colleague. They understand why you seem somature now. You have to be for Haru.

“I can give you their number but they may not pick up. Theneighbor would probably be able to get a hold of them,” You murmur.

All Might is completely baffled as he asks, “You don’t getin touch with them, like at all?”

“Nope, they’re out seeing the world instead of being with us.All we’ve gotten are postcards and words from them through the neighbor. I needto get dinner started soon… Would you guys like to stay for dinner?” You ask asyou easily evade their stares by grabbing ingredients from the kitchen.

They do, but not before they speak to each other and callNezu outside your house.

The dinner felt light-hearted with a hint of seriousness inthe air as All Might carries the conversation mostly with Haru. Aizawa staresholes into you while you try to eat in peace. When all is done and the twoadults had finished their food they merely observed you and a now sleepy Haru.

Haru who’s been sweet for you since your parents left, doesthe thing toddlers do when they want to be held. He lifts up his arms outtowards you and you easily lift him up and hold him, his face resting on yourshoulder. He’s out within the minute.

“Sorry about him. He usually passes out after dinner likethis,” You explain feeling a bit embarrassed that your teachers have seen somuch of your vulnerability.

All Might hesitates to ask, “Does… does he usually fallasleep like that?”

“Sort of? He’s been needing to be held by me or cuddled byFluffy before he sleeps. He’s afraid I’m going to leave him as they left us,”The disgust for your parents is evident in your voice.

Aizawa and Yagi are just surprised by it. However, they canunderstand why you feel that way. You’re practically raising your littlebrother, despite being a kid yourself, for them. It disgusts them as well ashow easy your parents could leave you guys like that. This is too much forsomeone as young as yourself.

“Young (Last Name), since you are a unique circumstance,Principal Nezu has requested that you-“

Aizawa cuts him off, “Stay with me. Both of you can’t beliving by yourself.”

All Might gives his colleague yet another look but this onehas a hint of confusion on his face.

~*~

“Is… Is this really okay?” You ask softly as you hold yourdog Fluffy in one arm and a bag of essentials in the other.

Aizawa doesn’t say anything as he sets down your littlebrother on the couch gently. He takes off the little kid backpack and sets thaton the floor. When he doesn’t say anything you frown.

All Might who helped escort you guys to Eraserhead’s home afterthe conversation is the one to speak. “It’s perfectly fine, Young (Last Name)!Thanks to Aizawa’s thinking this turned out to be much better than the originalplan.”

Ah, yes. The original plan thanks to Nezu being informed ofyour situation was that you and your brother would’ve been separated. You would’vegone to the U.A Dorms as originally planned but your brother would’ve beenplaced into a distant relative’s home or with a foster family do to yourparents’ negligence.

As of now, they are deemed unfit parents and you’ll bestaying with Aizawa. Feeling tired from the whole prospect of moving, you laybeside your brother, while Fluffy claims a corner of the room for himself. Theteachers notice how tired you are and bid you goodnight before stepping into anotherroom to speak.

In truth, Aizawa couldn’t even think of splitting the two ofyou up as a possibility. He saw the way you looked at your brother as if youwere his parent. The pride in your eyes as he did his homework correctly. Yourbrother looked at you as if you were his protector, it was obvious he adoredyou. It would’ve shattered the both of you if you were to be forced to split upand that’s not what he was going to let happen.

All Might knew this the moment Nezu said to bring it up(Nezu totally knew Aizawa is a softie and that this would happen). All Mightfelt the same way but since Aizawa is your homeroom teacher the feelings aredeeper with him. The grump of a teacher needed to take responsibility for you.

“Aizawa… what about your cats?” Yagi whispers to the grumpyman.

Aizawa shrugs and states in monotone, “They haven’t made abig deal so they’re fine. Besides, my cats can totally take down that dog ifthey need to.”

Yagi freaking has a heart attack and a nose bleed at thesewords. “THAT DOG IS OLD. Your cats don’t need to be murdering Young (Last Name)’sdog!” Yagi whisper yells.

~*~

You sigh as you text the parental figure that has beenwatching over you these past couple of weeks. He’ll be home a bit late but thatworks perfectly for you.

Surprisingly, it’s been a smooth transition and Haru loveshim. You live in the dorms with the rest but you get to go home with him on theweekends while Haru and Fluffy (who actually gets along great with the cats muchto Aizawa’s surprise) live with him indefinitely. With the unique circumstance,the other teachers help Aizawa take care of Haru while you are living in thedorms.

Overall, you are grateful for him, especially when youoverheard from All Might that he took both of you in when he didn’t have to.

It’s been feeling like home. To thank the man for all he hasdone, you and Haru decided to go all out on this weekend night and make hisfavorite dishes. Towards the end of your cooking adventure, you check on Haruwho had opted to make cat-shaped cookies.

“Looking good, little man,” You state admiring his work.

Haru looks up with happiness before a frown lands on hisface. You immediately ask him what’s wrong.

“Is Aizawa our new daddy?” His voice is meek upon askingthis and seeing your confused expression the poor boy continues, “It’s justthat… I don’t want to see our old mommy and daddy. They don’t love us. I wantShouta as my new daddy!”

WHAT IS THIS FEELING IN YOUR CHEST? Your little brother literallyjust killed your soul with this cute yet sad declaration. Even so, you completelyagreed with him.

“Hey, watch the food brat.”

A harsh sizzling sound, the scent of smoke, and Aizawa’ssudden appearance override your senses and you quickly apologize, “Sorry, Dad!”

Your face feels like it is on fire with embarrassment as yourealize you just called him dad. You hurry to set the food aside to cool downand clear out the slight burning smell before you turn to the male who appearsto be in shock.

“Aizawa?” You call out.

His normal grim expression is back on his face as he says, “Goahead and set the table.”

You go to turn to do what he said but caught the male unableto hold back a smile anymore. All tension in your body leaves as you realize he’shappy that you accidentally called him dad. When the table is set and you areall sitting, Haru curiously looks at the laid-back tired adult.

Aizawa gives the boy a glance and finally indulges him, “What?”

“Does that mean we can call you dad?” Haru for the love oflife doesn’t have a filter but you are grateful for it.

Aizawa is elated but it doesn’t show on his face, “Go forit.”

“If you’re our new daddy who can we call mommy?” Haruquestions.

Without missing a beat you answer, “All Might or PresentMic.”

Aizawa glares at you but says nothing else. The feeling oflove and happiness fills the air as it had been doing since both of you movedin with him. You can bet he’s doing everything he can do to adopt you.

#boko no hero academia #dadzawa #aizawa shouta #dadzawa x reader #bnha #mha #fluff #x reader #fanfiction #anime #manga #reader insert #request #oneshot #my hero academia

[elsanna-shenanigans]

December Contest Submission #11: Cinnamon

words: ca. 4500 setting: mAU lemon: no cw: angst, anxiety, panic attacks, pajama cuddles (not for faint of heart), feet touch (in a gay manner)

A shiver ran down Anna’s spine as she quickly skipped across the hallway, her fuzzy socks slipping on the polished wood like skates on ice. Her head had two close encounters with the wall by the time she reached the destination–Elsa’s bedroom.

It was dark as hell in the hallway, so she could easily see the light seeping out from under the door. With no time to waste for knocking and waiting for an answer–and silently hoping Elsa was just reading or playing with her phone, and not doing something private that she should not see–she turned the doorknob and almost fell into the room.

“Anna?”

She shut the door behind herself and turned around to look at Elsa, who was, indeed, sitting on the bed with an open book in her lap, her brows furrowed in a mix of confusion and worry as she stared back at Anna over her reading glasses.

Without saying anything, she trotted over the floor, slowing down a little only once she reached Elsa’s fluffy rug until she almost flinged herself on her sister’s bed.

“Are you cold?”

Anna huffed irritatedly. “How’d you tell?”

Elsa reached to take off her glasses. “For one, you’re shivering and you have goosebumps on your arms,” she said, touching the tip of her–cold! Anna almost jumped–finger to Anna’s exposed elbow while she put her glasses away on the nightstand. “Two, you came in running here like a startled horse, and you had that little grumpy little baby expression.”

Anna pouted.

“Exactly this one.”

“Stooop,” she whined. Then she quickly swatted at Elsa’s hand as it was making its way to tickle her side. “Elsa! It’s not funny!”

Elsa giggled. “I’m sorry.” There was no hint of remorse in her voice. “I just thought that maybe a bit of physical activity could help warm you up.”

“More like physical torture,” Anna muttered, pulling her feet up to fold her legs on the bed. “Anyway, yes. I’m cold. I’m freezing, honestly.” She sighed. “It feels like maybe fifty degrees in my room, and the rest of the house is barely any better.”

It’s been a few months since they moved in together (after years of living apart, the pandemic of 2020 forced them to re-think the whole ‘independent living alone’ situation) to this lovely apartment in an old building, allegedly built in the early 1800s, a parting gift to them both from their late grandmother. The entire move took place at the beginning of August, when the Summer was still happily around, but not as hot as to make enough of an impact for either Elsa or Anna to notice anything odd–and with the following Autumn being very mild, it still never hit them something was very wrong until after the middle point of November.

Anna had been the first to notice. She’d been sitting in the kitchen pretty late at night, working on a very overwhelming project that made her completely lose track of time and space for a good few hours. Had it not been for the little burst of chilly wind on her neck, she’d probably have spent the entire night up.

Yes. Wind. Cold, frigid gust of wind through the soft hairs at the nape of her neck while she was sitting inside. At first, she’d thought it was a ghost–which she now could admit was maybe not the best assumption, but to her defense she and Elsa did spend the previous two weeks or so watching horror movies every evening.

So, naturally, she’d screamed in horror and ran out of the kitchen, zooming across the hallway to her room, where she’d hid under her covers for about two minutes before a very sleepy and confused Elsa appeared in her doorway.

They’d established it could not be a ghost–it took some time to convince Anna, though–and instead probably just a random little crack in some window frame that let in the cold air from the outside.

The random little crack seemed to be untraceable, though, and soon it had become very painfully clear they were instead dealing with isolation issues all over the place.

“Did you get an extra blanket?” Elsa asked, looking at her with that worry back in her eyes.

“I got three.”

“And you’re still cold?”

“Elsa,” she said–softly, lovingly, but with all the desperation of her aching bones, while she looked her sister deep in the eyes. “I’m not joking. It’s literally freezing in my room, and it’s only marginally better here and I have no freaking idea how you’re just sitting there like this.”

In an attempt to keep warm, Anna took to sleeping in a pair of those long, warm sweatpants and a hoodie, even though she hated the way they kept tangling in her three blankets to the point of her always ending up sleeping in some weird position for the entire night.

Meanwhile, Elsa was reclining against her pillows in nothing but a spaghetti strap silk nightgown.

“It doesn’t really bother me that much,” Elsa answered simply, shrugging with those bare, exposed shoulders. “I actually think the cold helps me sleep better.”

It took every ounce of willpower still left in her for Anna not to burst out laughing/crying at the same time.

Instead, she donned her best kicked puppy expression.

Elsa’s soft, vaguely worried expression turned to outright concern. “Is something wrong?”

“Can I sleep with you tonight?”

“Wha– yes?” It sounded less like Elsa agreeing, and more like her just wondering if that was even an option. “I mean– Yeah, you can. Will that help?”

Anna shrugged. “I felt a chilly breeze right on my head when I laid down in my bed tonight so I’m literally fresh out of other options. And it is a little warmer in your bedroom.”

Elsa nodded, then closed her book and put it next to her glasses, before patting the unoccupied side of her giant bed. “There’s plenty of room, so you can hop– actually, you probably want to grab some of your blankets. I only have this one.”

She held up her not exactly thick cover, as if to prove that it was of no use. With a deep, world-weary sigh Anna stood up and went straight for the door.

~*~*~

Less than two minutes passed before she barged back in with all of her necessities bundled up in her arms, then promptly went around Elsa’s bed to drop the heap on ‘her’ side.

“Really?” Elsa asked in an incredulous voice while Anna watched her pick up a plush seal from the pile. “You’re twenty-six.”

“And you’re judgmental,” Anna hissed back at her, snatching the toy away to put it next to her pillow. “It’s an anxiety thing.”

“It’s alright, Anna.” Elsa smiled. “I didn’t want to offend you. I’m sorry.”

Anna just huffed–too cold and tired to even think of a response–and laid out her blankets, then promptly jumped in the bed and burrowed. She let out a low, content grumble and heard Elsa laugh softly in response.

A faint scent of cinnamon tickled her nose.

It was… surprising how open Elsa could be, sometimes. She thought back to the tickle attempt earlier–which she was too grumpy to appreciate at the moment, but could now think over with a clearer (warmer) head.

When she’d first come to the conclusion that she’d have to move in with Elsa, mostly due to financial problems tied to the world pandemic, she was mortified. The last time she’d lived with her was when they were both still in high school, and after Elsa’s graduation they didn’t exactly keep in touch all that often during college or afterwards. Honestly, moving in with her sister was almost like a random lottery roommate–completely unpredictable and potentially devastating.

But Elsa was a blessing. Even though they were forced to spend almost all their time together, it almost never felt like they were in each other’s way–and when it did, it was usually Anna’s own fault. Elsa worked quietly, cleaned up after herself, took care of bills and utilities and even cooked for both of them, none of which Anna herself was exactly known for. Perfect roommate, and it turned out it was Anna who had something to live up to.

And of course now she had to breach another layer of intimacy because of the damned cold house.

“Here, you forgot about this guy,” she heard a soft whisper right after Elsa turned off her light, and peaked out from under her cover to see Elsa holding her seal out to her. She took it slowly, and briefly wondered if Elsa thought she was a nuisance and was just very good at not showing it. “Are you a little warmer now?”

She spoke to her like to a small child, and that pretty much answered Anna’s self-conscious question.

~*~*~

The next night, she tried sleeping in her own room, too ashamed to bother Elsa again. She woke up with a dull ache in her joints and blocked sinuses, courtesy of the damn little constant breeze blowing onto her head and shoulders.

Elsa would send her worried looks the entire day, sometimes asking her if there was anything she could do for her, offering tea, painkillers and even drawing her a hot bath to ease the pain. Really, she was too good to be true sometimes, definitely not the girl who left her at their parents’ place all those years ago without much of an explanation.

She’d refuse everything–aside from the bath–of course, at times resorting to say she’s ‘an adult’ and ‘can take care of herself.’

~*~*~

She lasted a week before she just couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Ah, I was thinking about you.”

Elsa was sitting in her bed reading a book, again, but this time she seemed to be prepared for Anna–the other side of her bed was left empty, clearly meant for her to put all her stuff in.

All the better, since Anna literally came with her entire sleeping equipment in her arms.

“How’d you know?”

Elsa smiled. “The forecast said it was going to be three degrees out tonight. I figured you won’t be able to just stubborn your way through that.”

Anna gasped in mock–okay, not exactly fully mock–offence. She walked over to the empty side of the bed and dropped everything to start crafting her nest.

Elsa watched her carefully, almost to the point of discomfort on Anna’s side, but she didn’t comment anything. Again, she picked up her seal and held it while Anna tried her damnedest to straighten out her pile of blankets.

As soon as she managed that, she jumped in the bed so hard she almost knocked the book out of Elsa’s lap.

“Here.” Elsa placed the seal–Anna really should give it some name–in her arms and went back to her book.

For a moment they were silent, Elsa reading and Anna just lying there, enjoying the warmth and cursing under her breath. Somehow, one of her legs was already tangled in the sheets. Her favorite t-shirt and shorts combo wasn’t exactly the best for this kind of weather, but sleeping in sweatpants and a hoodie was a logistical nightmare to someone who moved around as much as she did.

“It’s going to be about three degrees for a few days now, and then it’s only dipping lower,” Elsa said suddenly just when Anna’s eyelids started to drop and she was slowly lulling herself to sleep. “We really need to fix the windows in your room, you can’t just walk around the entire day like a zombie,” she continued with a sigh, and Anna felt a wave of fresh embarrassment wash over her. “Say, why don’t you just keep sleeping in my room until we can get it done?”

The wave turned into a tsunami as she nodded.

~*~*~

They managed to get a hold of a repairman that had some free slots for the next month. Their neighborhood was full of very old buildings, and it really was showing by how sought out good repairmen were.

So, the next few days were a torture. Her room was sealed shut, but the entire apartment got so cold over time that even Elsa would sometimes shiver hard in the night, something that would wake Anna up with a start. Half-asleep but concerned, she’d pull the covers up to Elsa’s shoulders, only to have to wake up and repeat it after a few hours.

She was lying now next to Elsa in the dark, trying not to make too much ruckus as she tried to rub her feet together without waking her sister up.

“Anna,” her voice was muffled by her covers, but Anna could clearly hear the annoyance. Normally, Elsa would try to keep most negative emotions out of her voice when she talked to her–something she noticed she very much did not do when talking with people in her Zoom meetings–but at about 2 a.m. she apparently couldn’t fight it anymore. “What are you doing?”

She asked the question in a softer voice, but there was still no mistaking how miffed she was at being woken up.

“I’m just…” she trailed off, not even sure if Elsa actually wanted to hear an explanation or just wanted her to stop, but after just a few seconds of her hesitation Elsa hummed expectantly for her to keep going. “My feet are super cold…”

Oh, that came out as a very pathetic whine. Not part of the plan.

Elsa sighed, then shuffled–she’d been facing the door with her back towards Anna, but now she turned to lie on her back, her bare shoulder almost brushing against Anna’s nose. She smelled really nice, a very festive mixture of cinnamon–her usual shower gel–and apple–her new shampoo–that somehow already made Anna feel warmer. She kept shuffling under the covers until suddenly Anna almost jumped when she felt Elsa’s fingertips on her hand.

“Come here,” Elsa whispered, retreating her arm and patting the bed somewhere next to her. “Under my cover. I’ll keep you warm.”

In the cold night air Anna’s face felt steaming.

“A-are you sure?”

Elsa nodded and turned back around, leaving the passage for Anna to slip her legs in until her feet touched Elsa’s calves. She heard a surprised inhale, and against reason Elsa shifted closer to her.

“Why did you take off your socks?” She said it over a yawn, and Anna felt really bad for keeping her up again. “Your feet are freezing.”

“I can’t sleep in socks.”

It was enough to try and sleep in pants. With socks, she only felt like she was capturing the cold next to her feet.

Elsa chuckled, and rubbed one of her own bare feet on Anna’s.

~*~*~

“What’s this?”

Anna looked curiously at the giant box in the hall. It was delivered while Elsa was taking a shower, and Anna’s been waiting for her to finish almost buzzing in her seat with the need to know.

“Oh, I didn’t think they’d deliver it so fast.” Elsa was still drying her hair with a towel, dressed only in a thin tank top and sweats while Anna sat there in a giant plush robe wondering how in hell was her sister not just a giant cinnamon-scented icicle. “It’s a space heater.”

Anna’s eyes lit up.

“I figured you might use one in your room.”

“Oh.” That instantly dampened her enthusiasm, though. Over the past days she’d really grown accustomed to sleeping with Elsa–she was surprisingly warm once she started dozing off, and with every night Anna would snake her way a little closer. First it was just her feet leeching Elsa’s heat, then her legs, and when Elsa didn’t seem to mind she actually migrated almost entirely under her cover. Last night she was even able to finally sleep in a t-shirt and underwear, as god intended. “You want me to sleep in my room tonight?”

She didn’t actually mean to say that, especially not in this broken of a voice, but it was out before she could bite her tongue. Elsa’s eyes grew wider and Anna prepared for impact.

“Jesus, no!” Elsa looked like she’d just said the stupidest possible thing. “I meant that for sometime in the future when we fix your window. It’s minus four tonight, we might actually need to use this thing in my room first.”

Anna could only hope her face didn’t show how elated she was.

~*~*~

She came to Elsa’s room that night to find the bed set neatly–Elsa could really be a little of a pedantic freak sometimes, who the hell sets their bed every night–and Elsa standing in front of her TV, shuffling through videos on YouTube.

“Hey,” Anna said quietly, sitting down on Elsa’s side of bed with folded legs. Elsa murmured a greeting back. “What are you doing?”

The frustrated shuffling stopped for a moment. “I’m trying to find a– oh, this one looks nice! Turn off the light, please.”

Anna looked at her in confusion, but she reached over to the bedside lamp and tapped it gently. For a moment they sat in the dark as the video Elsa chose buffered, but then a warm, orange glow filled the room.

“A fireplace?”

The fire crackled happily on the screen. “Yeah, I thought it might be a nice ambience for sleeping,” Elsa chirped, which was very unlike her, while she bent down and– Anna had to turn her gaze away. Looking at her sister’s lace underwear was probably more than she could handle at the moment. “Especially combined with this.”

A soft hum followed right after and the ever-present, soft scent of cinnamon intensified–then Elsa moved out of the way and a wave of warm air hit Anna straight in the face. Elsa had to literally haul the heater into the room on her own while Anna was bathing.

“It does fit nice,” she admitted, looking into the flames and enjoying the warmth. “Almost like a real fireplace.”

Elsa climbed on the foot of the bed and crawled over to her on all fours, and suddenly there was more heat on Anna’s face and her mouth was dry. “You used to say you wanted a fireplace when we were kids,” Elsa said, shimmying on the bed until she was sitting next to her. “You had to be…five or six, and you’d keep saying you wanted to live in a cottage so that you could have a nice fire going every night and sit there with a cat in your lap, quote unquote like a witch.”

Anna laughed nervously and moved out of the way to let Elsa under her cover.

“And this is obviously nowhere near a real fireplace, but…”

She locked eyes with Elsa, and the orange glow of the TV made her irises look a fiery, sparkling purple. They were only a few inches apart, so close she could actually feel Elsa’s soft exhale blow over her own nose. Anna’s heart beat fast in her chest, fueled by some very odd and unwelcome emotions. “T-thank you,” she managed out through a clenched throat. Elsa really tried. She really, really tried, not only tonight but all the days before, pushing her own boundaries to accommodate Anna in her bed and it finally hit Anna just how much she had to love her.

And in this same, orange-glow filled, cinnamon-scented moment it also hit her how much she loved Elsa.

“Are you alright?”

Elsa’s face was concerned. Worried. Let down? Shit, she thought Anna didn’t like it.

“Y-yeah, I’m just– I’m super tired. I love this all, Elsa, thank you,” she repeated again just to make sure there was no mistaking how grateful she was for Elsa’s thoughtfulness, and something sank in her stomach at the sight of Elsa’s absolutely delighted smile. “Can we sleep?”

Elsa nodded and moved the covers away.

If not for the orange light, she would probably get worried again at Anna going absolutely white at the sight of her blankets spread nicely under Elsa’s cover.

“I figured this would be easier,” she said as she slid under and patted the space next to her. “You roll up into this tight ball every night before you fall asleep and then crawl under my cover anyway, so I figured this way you’ll be warmer.”

Anna gulped down the stone in her throat. “Y-yeah, sure.”

“We can even cuddle if you get cold. There’s supposed to be a blizzard tonight, so lots of wind.”

As if on cue a strong gust of wind rattled Elsa’s window and managed to get partially through, right onto Anna’s back. The surprised yelp and violent shiver at least let her hide how absolutely mortified she was with the idea of soft cuddles under the blankets with the fireplace glow.

Elsa pretty much pulled her under the blankets after that, and even tucked her in lovingly before lying down next to her–facing her, lord have mercy–and letting out a tired sigh.

“Goodnight,” she whispered, reaching out blindly to touch Anna’s cheek.

That one soft gesture sent a jolt down Anna’s spine. “Goodnight,” she answered, and she hoped that Elsa would pin the shaking in her voice on the cold gust of wind. Had she always felt like this? There had been a time in her life that Elsa was everything to her, but it was more like…younger sibling idolizing the older. Elsa had been her role model and her best friend, but after her high school graduation she just– Stopped. She wasn’t there anymore, busy with college, then busy with post-grad, then busy with work with no time to ever even visit. It seemed the only Anna ever heard from her was postcards and short birthday phone calls.

In that time she made herself at least pretend to resent Elsa for leaving her behind. She could never actually hate her, but the anger she felt was raw and it was at least better than grief.

But this Elsa– the Elsa that moved in with her, she was the same but she was different. The last time she actually saw her, she was a shy teenager with huge glasses and nerdy sweatshirts, always in a messy braid. When she saw the absolute glow-up Elsa went through, how beautifuller with emphasis on fuller she was, she did have to take a moment to collect herself.

Did she feel like– like this then, though? She was shocked, yes, but was she–

She looked up at Elsa’s calm, gorgeous face.

Was she–

This absolutely wonderful, sweet woman who literally had to take care of her because she was a fucking child that couldn’t even make sure to eat properly. The woman who would wake up half an hour early just to make her some chocolate chip or blueberry–or both because Anna was a mess–pancakes just because she knew it would make her happy. Who would randomly come up behind her and stroke her hair when she saw something was making her stressed, and it was the best way to calm her down.

Was she– Could she–

All of these little acts of affection that Elsa thought were innocent– that were innocent on her side and Anna has apparently been corrupting them in her depraved mind this entire time.

Was she in lo–

“Anna, what’s wrong?”

She opened her eyes to see Elsa look down at her with actual fear in her eyes and she realized she was shaking violently in her spot with no idea how much time had passed while she was spiraling. Her muscles were flexed and aching, jaw clenched so hard there was ringing in her ears. She was coiled in on herself like a tight spring.

“O–” she started, but her tongue felt like lead. “O-Olaf?”

Fear mixed with confusion. Then, suddenly, it changed to understanding. “Your seal?” Anna nodded. “It’s right here.”

She reached above Anna’s pillow and pulled Olaf out from where he was wedged, then softly placed him in Anna’s waiting hands. She immediately gripped him hard and curled up on her side, eyes tightly shut for fear of seeing her sister’s face.

“It’s okay,” Elsa’s whisper was breezing through her hair. “It’s fine, babygirl, I got you– d-do you want me to hug you?”

No, please, don’t. She nodded. I’m disgusting. Elsa enveloped her immediately, surprisingly strong as she pulled her closer to her chest. I don’t deserve to touch you. She burrowed her nose between Elsa’s breasts and inhaled.

Cinnamon.

She had no idea how long Elsa held her like this, her hand gently caressing up and down Anna’s bare arm, legs intertwined with Anna’s. She was planting soft kisses to the crown of Anna’s head. “It’s okay, baby, it’s alright,” she kept murmuring in between the kisses like a mantra, and with time it wasn’t even the words Anna was listening but just her voice, her breathing, the rhythm of her heart.

Her own was still racing when she spoke. “I’m s-s-sorry.” The words, already stuttered and slurred, came muffled out against the bare skin of Elsa’s chest.

“No, don’t be,” Elsa whispered hurriedly, not making a single move to pry her away. Even though she should. Anna should not be allowed to be anywhere near– there. “It’s my fault, sweetheart.”

What?

“I– I got overexcited and did things too fast,” she continued and if it wasn’t so hard for her to speak now, Anna would have shouted in disagreement. “I wanted to make things nice for you. I thought it would be– and then I saw how overwhelmed you were and I knew I messed up, and I– shit, I should have thought to give you Olaf earlier.”

Elsa remembered her plushie’s name.

“Do you want a tissue?” At first she didn’t understand the question, but then she realized she was crying. Heavily. Elsa’s chest was soaked.

She pulled away to try to answer–

Fuck, Elsa was gorgeous.

The glow dimmed considerably by now, but she could still make every detail of her face. Her big, round eyes. Her parted lips. The way she was looking at her with worry, but also pure adoration.

Anna wasn’t exactly thinking straight. She was very far from any remotely intelligent thought, her senses overwhelmed by cinammon. At a complete loss of the ability to speak with so many things to say.

What she couldn’t say in words in her state, she instead said with her lips on Elsa’s.

In the next second it dawned on her, and she immediately wanted to pull away and apologize, but Elsa held her in place with her hand on Anna’s stupid head.

They didn’t make out wildly like they do in the movies. It was a soft, tender and slow kiss. “It’s okay,” Elsa whispered against her lips in a few minutes. “It’s okay, baby.” She locked their lips again, a little firmer. “I understand.”

Four and a half thousand words all died on Anna’s lips, brushed off with Elsa’s tongue.

It was the explanation. It worked, for now at least, as she lay cradled in her sister’s arms, trading feathery kisses in the orange glow of their fake fireplace. In time, Elsa’s hand moved from her head to rest around her waist, keeping her warm and secure in place as she promised her we’ll talk tomorrow and it’s alright now, love.

And a tiny voice in her head, so small she could barely hear it through the shouts of self-hate, said that maybe.

That maybe it was going to be alright.

#elsanna #submission #december 2020 contest #prompt: warmth #cw: panic attack #cw: angst #cw: anxiety

[cinematicnomad]

1, 7, 25 for the fanfic end of year ask :)

001. favorite fic you wrote this year i have a soft spot for take my hand (take my everything) which was the first fic i wrote this year! and kind of the first step back into writing creatively on something new that wasn’t the 7 year monster sterek fic. also my first foray into 9-1-1 fic and was just a lot of fun! 

007. longest completed fic you wrote this year the longest fic i wrote was my second for the year! so show me (family) wound up being around 16k+ for 9-1-1 which kind of burst out of me over the course of one 48 hour window unlike take my hand which took a few weeks to crank out. 

025. a fic you read this year you would recommend everyone read SO MANY FICS DUDE!!! i’m gonna rec a couple, some that i re-read this year and some that i discovered for the first time, all from a variety of fandoms. BUT heads up, you didn’t specify a fandom so it’s gonna be a little scattered. also someone else sent me this same question but specified 9-1-1, so i’m gonna reserve those recs for that ask. GET READY!!

and this, your living kiss by opal_bullets (7/7 | 84k+ | M) destiel; AU: college/university; john winchester’s A+ parenting; angst with a happy ending

only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet jack allen is just kansas mechanic dean winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen.

until, that is, a string of coincidences leads dean to auditing a poetry course with one dr. castiel novak. the professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia’s foremost expert on the poetry of jack allen.

note: i discovered this fic back in the pre-pandemic times of feb 2020 and i’ve read this fic TWICE since, leaving a lengthy comment each time. the poetry in the fic itself is stunningly gorgeous and i have a habit of reading it out loud to myself while reading bc it begs to be heard. this fic is seriously beautiful and makes me want to read all the poet!dean au’s out there in the world. unfortunately there aren’t that many so i just keep coming back to this well. i don’t think i can express enough how much i love this fic. 

lost time by ARCurren (105/105 | 350k+ | T)  bransonxsybil; AU: canon divergent; outsider POVs; original characters; slow burn

the story of a free spirit who was asked to give up the man she loved for a system she didn’t believe in and what happened next. AU after 3.04. 

note: did i think, when i stumbled across this fic years ago, that it would wind up being one of my all time favorites that i return to time and again to re-read? never. did i re-read it for like the dozenth time this year?? 110%. this fic is everything i want from fanfiction—it’s beautifully written, expands on canon, and shows me all the hidden moments the cameras never did (not to mention it’s historically accurate and delves deep into irish politics of the time). the first third or so of this fic is all about tom and sybil’s slow burn romance at downton, but the fic really bursts into its own when we follow the two to dublin and get introduced to all of the author’s deliciously detailed oc’s. heads up warning: this fic was never officially completed, though the final chapter is a beautifully written summary of the final arc of the fic. even so, it’s fucking worth it. 

misfire by mothlights & unpossible (6/6 | 28k+ | T) sterek; time travel; angst with a happy ending; alive hale family; magic; alternating POV

“the debt must be repaid,” she says, and it has the weight of a vow. the words resonate through him, ringing through his ribcage and the bones of his jaw, and stiles loses his breath and maybe his grip on reality because she draws herself upright and where there had once stood a supermodel-level MILK now there is galadriel’s much hotter older sister, a presence of unmistakable power in their ordinary, smells-vaguely-of-thai-takeout hallway. 

“oh shit,” stiles says. 

note: this fic is the first in the misfire ‘verse and i need you to understand that it literally broke me when i binge read these fics a month or so ago. i am a sucker for a solid time travel fic especially bc there are such few good ones in fandom. but this gets at the heart of it all by exploring the idea of stiles getting the chance to save derek’s family and taking it...after he and derek are romantically together in his true timeline and then actually dealing with the ramifications of how that alters everything and how stiles survives in this new present where he and derek are virtual strangers. everyone should definitely read this, but you should also know that i fucking sobbed while reading the sequel (which also has a happy ending, but really digs deep into the nitty gritty angst of the repercussions). 

map of the world by seperis (11/11 | 154k+ | M)  destiel; end!verse; alternate universe; canon divergent; original characters; slow burn

the world’s already over and they’re already dead. all they’re doing now is marking time until the end. 

note: look, if you don’t know about down to agincourt by @seperis, what are you doing with your life?? the series is over 1M+ words so far, the fic author is on book 4 out of a planned 8, and it’s fucking phenomenal. i know i’ve tagged a couple of these recs as slow burn but...this is the slowest slow burn to ever burn. canon!dean travels back into the end!verse timeline just as lucifer kills dean and somehow cas made it out alive and has to keep dean safe while he learns to become his end!verse counterpoint. the world building in this series is intense and i cannot recommend it enough. i’m still in the midst of my re-read bc it’s SUCH an endeavor but i highly recommend it to everybody. 

invictus by ellanasan (116/116 | 355+ | M) hayffie; au: alive abernathy family; pre-hunger games; canon prostitution; slow burn

“so then, before i can even think about doing something stupid like trying to stab him with his fucking golden paperknife, he gives me a choice, see?” haymitch continued, almost detached. “either i play nice like all the other victors or he’ll kill my family. i could either become his puppet—greatest punishment he could give me, according to him—or i could become the example.”

AU in which haymitch’s family lives.

note: hello, have you ever wondered what the hunger games series would be like if haymitch’s family were alive? i fucking hadn’t until 2 years ago when i stumbled across this fic and fell head over heels in love with this ship. @ellanainthetardis is my go to hunger games fic writer for anything exploring canon and i’m obsessed with anything she writes about the OG victors pre-canon (finnick, joanna, chaff, etc). this fic is just 300k+ exploring that world and all the intricate details of how cruel the games could really be. HIGHLY recommend. i definitely re-read it this fall when i needed a pick me up.

don’t know what i’m supposed to do (haunted by the ghost of you) by crazyassmurdererwall (1/1 | 30k+ | T) sterek; canon divergent; angst with a happy ending; ghosts; stiles POV

stiles sees dead people. yep. seriously.

(he’s got this. he’s totally got this. so what if one of them is derek’s mom?)

note: did you know that @crazyassmurdererwall is one of my all time favorite people? and that she’s wicked talented? and that in our spare time she’ll send me a billion fic ideas that are amazing and i get to hear all the intricate details of her plot bunnies? but i digress. this fic is one of my all time fave sterek fics i’ve re-read it sooo many times. there’s just something about the heartache and stiles’ insecurity and the way he tries to shoulder it all on his own. and then there’s alli’s brilliant writing, the way she weaves through a scene and paints a picture just so and manages to tug at your heart strings with her precise word choice. there’s some amazing world building in this fic as it explores this other facet of the supernatural that canon teen wolf never touched upon, and i’m so grateful for that bc alli is the only one who should be allowed to write about ghosts and teen wolf together. 

lagavulin and guinness by snarfle (10/10 | 163k+ | explicit) hartwin; slow burn; PTSD; suicidal thoughts; graphic depictions of violence; domestic abuse

plenty of people had looked down on eggsy throughout his life. he had gotten fairly used to it. didn’t mean it was fair, but he knew how these things worked. what really sucked was that the new arthur was worse than the old one.

“eggsy grimaced. he didn’t know how to explain to harry—who seemed like he hadn’t been discriminated against a day in his life—that the new arthur kept giving him what amounted to suicide missions, and that he was currently bleeding out in a warehouse because of the deliberately bad intel she had given him.”

also featuring: dean is harder to get rid of than eggsy thought, his mum is going off the deep end, there are way too many nefarious plots in play, and eggsy is really beginning to wish that harry would stop holding his hand and kiss him instead.

note: look, i know i recced this literally less than a week ago but i ALSO stayed up til 5AM re-reading this last night and it was a-m-a-z-i-n-g. i was on a bit of a kingsman kick earlier this year, so i’ve actually re-read this fic TWICE so far in 2020. i will give you a serious warning in that this fic delves deep into domestic abuse through the lens of a variety of different relationships. it also explores the potential for abuse in hartwin, bc this fic is one of the few that actually commits to the fact that they’re literal spies who murder people. actively. a lot. but seriously, this fic is one of my fave in the fandom and i STRONGLY recommend it. 

waste of breath by bryrosea (1/1 | 22k+ | M) loganxveronica; canon compliant; missing scenes; navy; past child abuse

logan echolls, the nine years, and the navy.

note: bryrosea has an obscene number of amazing logan and veronica fics (her canon divergent series stay with me is another i re-read this year), but i’ve found myself returning to this fic a lot over the years. i’m a sucker for canon compliant fics that explore the missing scenes in between canon and this fic hits all the right buttons by diving deep into how logan echolls went from being a trash fire at hearst college at the end of s3 to being a decorated navy pilot by the movie. it explores logan seeking out therapy and making a life for himself that he can be proud of, all while pining after the girl who got away. and bc this author is amazing, she followed it up with a sequel from veronica’s point of view in the series done by only me. 

the law of equivalent exchange by awed_frog (8/8 | 60k+ | M) destiel; POV castiel; pre-canon; post-canon; canon compliant; immortality; reincarnation

“and what’s the point of it?”

“of love? there isn’t one. loving is its own purpose.” 

note: i mean??? i don’t really know what to say except that this is one of the truly most beautiful fics i have ever read. it follows castiel through time as he meets different reincarnations of sam and dean across history and falls ever more deeply in love. it is achingly tender and so ecstatically written that i die just thinking about it. and that summary? i mean. holy fuck break my heart why don’t you? i don’t know how i missed out on this fic for so long since it was published in 2015 but i only learned about it for the first time back in july and it was. life changing?? when the fic finally reaches the canon timeline and he meets THIS dean it’s peak yearning. 10/10 will read again.

ahead in the count by elisela (17/17 | 50k+ | E) sterek; AU: sports; pitcher!stiles; teacher!derek; long distance relationship; getting together

“yankee fan,” derek says, laughing when stiles makes a disgusted face. “the bronx bombers, stiles, you can’t be a new yorker and—”

“stop talking right now,” stiles sighs, shaking his head. “i can’t believe i still want to kiss you after that,” he says, pulling derek in by his coat. “this is making me rethink everything.” 

“i’ll never watch them again,” derek promises, and stiles laughs against his mouth. 

or: stiles is a starting pitcher for the NY mets when he meets and falls in love with derek. derek doesn’t know. 

note: i read SO MANY of @elisela’s 911 fics this summer, which i loved, and then she got into teen wolf and started writing sterek and i just about died. this fic is amazing, one of my fave sterek AU’s that i’ve read in years. it’s just the right amount of drama and angst and fluff filled with all the joys of miscommunication and character relationships that makes reading sterek such a joy. reading this fic and finding out eli needed fic recs pushed me to dive back in to reading sterek fics for a bit this fall so i can say with the utmost authority that this is one of the best i’ve read in a long time. 

i used to think one day we’d tell the story of us by notequitegucci (2/2 | 32k+ | M) gendrya; alternate universe—modern setting; outsider POV; friends to lovers; friends to lovers

9 times a stark encounters gendry + 1 time he meets the starks.

note: again, this is the first in a 2 part series titled love me like you do that explores arya and gendry’s dynamics together through the point of view of her family. game of thrones ended last year with a whimper but i keep returning to the gendrya tag on ao3 to seek out new, amazing content and also to re-read some old favorites. i can’t remember if i came across this for the first time last year or this one, but i’ve read it and re-read it more times than i can count since and i love it more than i can describe. i’m a total sucker for outsider POV fics and my biggest pet peeve in canon is the fact that none of the stark’s ever found out that arya and gendry had a history together. this modern au fic almost makes up for it by giving me a gendry encounter with every family member and then the big reveal. it’s peak content. 

theeeeeeese recs got a little away from me. i wasn’t originally intending on adding lengthy notes to each entry but ... oh well!! these are all amazing so please enjoy. 

fanfic end of the year asks

#lilolilyr #ask #if i knew an authors tumblr i tried to tag them in this #seriously my reclist got away from me for a bit #also if you're looking for 911 recs #like i said they will be in another ask where someone specified!! #fic rec #about kat writes

[nowheretobefound101]

I Will Find You

A one-shot story dedicated to humanity who suffers fear and pure sadness because of the unacceptable truth about death.

I know how you admire this place so much. A place where you always pick up your fresh daisies and collect it in your handwoven basket. This flower field of yours is where our story began and I still remember the scent of freshly picked flowers all over your dress and hair, and also, your signature smile that never fails to enlighten my days after it.

Right now, at this moment, you give me this nostalgia just like back in the day I first met you.

I was just roaming around in this unfamiliar place until I got lost in the middle of your flower field. I am just moved in at my grandparents' house at that time, and I decided to sneak out of the house for a while to find out if something is amusing in this place. I continue strolling around until I saw you, gracefully sitting on the ground filled with daisies, sweetly humming a calm melody, and your hair flows smoothly with the air that also gave off its a vivid color like it kisses the sun.

I silently walked towards you and crouched in front of you. As you opened your eyes, I saw a great shocked in your face.

"AHHH!! WHO ARE YOU!? DON'T MAKE A MOVE." You screamed as if I will gonna rob you.

"Ohh, My bad for scaring you, I'm lost." I said.

"Your name's lost? I think your parents' had a bad taste." She giggled as she fixed her dress.

"No, I... I mean, I am literally 'lost',and Jack is my name!" I corrected.

"I'm just kidding! By the way, I'm Elsa. I see that your are the newcomer that your grandma told me for a couple of days ago." She said.

"Okay, so my grandma never runs out of stories to tell huh. But, please, I just want to go home right now 'cuz I just sneaked out in fixing my stuffs."

"So someone's getting trouble later!" She teased.

"C'mon, just help me!" I pleaded.

"Calm down you sneaky ones, I'll help you, okay, but first, help me to pick these daisies for your grandma. And yeah, if you wanted a place for yourself you can just freely visit my flower field."

"Thank you for your warm welcoming, Elsa." I said.

After we picked up those daisies for my grandma, she guided and walked me home. I never imagine that my grandparents are really closed to her. I thought that they'll gonna sermon me, instead, they were both glad and shocked that I already known Elsa.

And also, I found out where my grandma, who is so fond of daisies, came from.

Every afternoon, we are always staying on our spot in your flower field. We eat, laugh, tell some stories, collect some flowers to be sold on the market, music jamming, and even ending up taking a nice nap wherein sometimes, grandma will gonna wake us up if she minded to visit the place.

Days... Months... To years. Two people who begin and meet up as strangers, and now, I can't believe that you are my fiance.

But, Is this a right choice?

I keep regretting myself, every day along with our joys and love, not telling you the real reason why I moved with my grandparents. You only knew that I moved because I don't have parents anymore. I also told my grandparents for a long time ago to keep my secret hidden from the world I know.

I agreed to live for the rest of my years with my grandparents, hide until it ended because of my terrible fate, yet, everything changes until you came into my hopeless life. It is all coincidental and you never failed to enlighten me. Honestly, I failed too many times in love but you are something unique and special that I've never seen to anyone.

You are the only one who enlightened my hopeless heart and soul.

And the day I feared came as I passed out in the middle of the fields while we are happily collecting some daisies. That moment, my sight slowly turns blurry and I can't even feel my body anymore. As I fell through the grounds, I saw the daisies burst out in the mid-air, suddenly, I heard your voice repeatedly calling my name... calling some help, until everything went pitch black.

As I woke up, I feel so weak, I am not even aware of what day it is, and I am just catching up on my breath. I tried to look around and I saw you, sitting beside my bed and sleeping as your head placed to your arms down to my bed, I want to call your name, but, I really can't. Luckily, you noticed me awake as you feel me moved my hands to yours. You quickly stand up and sit in front of me, you planned to call my grandparents but I stopped you because I want to let you know all my regrets before my time ends.

"Elsa, I am begging you, just listen to me."

"What is it Jack, I'm here and I can hear you." I see into your eyes how worried you are and feel it on how you pressed my hands.

"I am sorry if I'd never confessed to you about this unknown disease that makes me weaker every single day. I moved to my grandparents to hide my terrible and undesirable fate to all as I wanted to shut myself out from anyone. Yet, you came into my life. I don't blame it okay, honestly, I am glad that I met you. I know from the start that I can't keep this from you forever but I just don't want to see you and my grandparents burden the pains when I left. I'm so sorry, Elsa. I am really sorry."

"Hush, my darling and just take a deep breath. I knew it already, as I observed how clumsy you are, as to how you see the world around you, as to how those medicines were in your pockets... I knew it already, Jack. When you were carried here by our fellow villagers, your grandparents also talked to me about this and on how you shut yourself so you can't see anyone suffers. Jack, I am also glad that you are the only person who showed me the beauty of falling in love, you also gave colors to my world, and you also enlighten me to appreciate the world. You had done nothing wrong." She confessed.

"If this is the time for you to take your rest... It's okay, Jack. Don't worry too much about us." She added.

"Uhm... Elsa... Ca... Can I ask you something?" I weakly said to her. I am trying my best to catch up on some air as I still can.

"What is it?" She answered.

" I know we can't stop the time, dear. I'm sincerely sorry, but, I... I just wish to see you, smiling in front of me for the last time because this is the only thing, my last memorabilia of you, that I can take for my departure. I... I know it's hard for you to--"

You stopped me as you placed your hands on my cheeks and rubbing my tears that flow in my face. I weakly smiled at you as I felt the your gentle hands for the last time.

"I'll smile for you even you don't request it from me." She answered.

As she smiled, she can't control herself from her overflowing emotions of pain and sadness as I see her cry at the same time.

I see my grandparents for the last time trying to not interrupting us. They are just silently standing, and peeking and listening through a small gap in the door. She didn't notice them as she continuously cries out.

"It's okay to cry, Elsa." I said. I just hope that I can wipe her tears back. "Thank you for making me happy within my limited time. I'm sorry if I need to leave you so suddenly. I love you as I will be waiting for you in our next lives." I smiled, yet, everything surrounds me faded little-by-little.

"I love you 'till we meet again. Sleep now, Jack." And this is the last thing I heard.

Elsa cried so hard after I left and my grandparents open the door and approach her. Then, the room is just filled with their mourns and tears around my dead body.

Days turn to weeks that passed away quickly... I can't even tell you that my soul is still wandering around in this world because I was told to finish my last mission.

From the first, it made my mind discombobulated until I see your name flash within my memory.

"You are my last mission." I told to myself.

Even though you can't see, feel, or hear me anymore, I can still able to guide you throughout your sufferings. My soul's still alive to finish my last mission because you are still believing in me.

But history repeats itself, and now, I see myself to you who shut yourself to everyone. I can only sense your agonies, fears, and sadness all over the room. My grandparents always checked you in your home, yet, you always said that "You're fine. Just leave me alone."

What should I do? I want to accomplish this mission, but how?

I remembered that you have a sister who lives in the near village with her husband. I tried to find her, however, I still don't know what will should I do.

When night came, I planned if I can able to write and luckily I have enough strength as a soul to do it. While your sister and her husband sleeping, I tried to write a short letter that I hope it may help you.

Days later, your sister saw your letter and visit you again. She opens and enters your cabin, removed and placed her winter coat into the rack behind the door, and she goes straight to your room.

She knocks on your door but you didn't answered. She called,

"Elsa, please I know you're in there

People are asking where you've been

They say, 'have courage' and I'm trying to,

I'm right out here for you

Just let me in."

But still, you have no response.

Anna calls you for another time,

" We only have each other

It's just you and me

What are we gonna do?"

And you suddenly opened your door and let your sister enter. Both of you stand beside your window that is full of daisies. You still don't make any response and Anna seems so worried about you. But, as the moment you pick up a daisy, Anna blurted out in her soft comforting voice, "Do you want to build a snowman?" After you hear it out clearly, you cried out in front of her.

I see, You made to let out your emotions again after I left at the beginning of winter.

Tears just suddenly flow down from your eyes and your sister continues to comfort you.

"Elsa, shutting yourself and burdening it by yourself is not what Jack wanted for you right? Yesterday, I found a piece of paper hidden in our picture. Do you wanna read it. Here, take this." Anna slipped out a paper and held it to Elsa.

Elsa read it loudly that the two of them can hear...

"Love can heal a frozen heart. Both of your hearts were like your daisies: Pure, innocent, and there it lies your true love. If you had read this, remember that when you feel lost through your darkness, let your daisies enlighten you towards your true love.

P.S. I will get mad if you forget how to smile :)

Anna, protect her from me okay. I'm sorry if I can't give you some chocolates this time."

"Jack's really full of fun and suprises." Elsa giggles.

"Finally, you smiled again, I hope he can see you smile like that again." Anna frankly said.

"C'mon, I know that whenever he is, he always gonna see this smile of mine." Elsa said.

"So, do you want to build a snowman, the flower fields seems to be filled up with snow." Anna joyfully asked.

"If you insisted. Thank you, Anna." And she hugged her sister so tight and Anna also hugged her back.

Anna suddenly holds Elsa's hand and rushed out because of her excitement, they run straight to the fields and dive mountains mountain of snow.

I watched you played with your sister and build a snowman, I also tried to join your fun the last time. So, I scoop a pile of snow and form some snowballs. At first, I hit you, and it was so fun that you blame Anna just like before when I still have my body. Then, I hit your sister next that makes her revenge and rained you with her snowballs.

Finally, you set me free and I also set you free.

I know you can sense me even you can't see me anymore...

For the last time, I just wanna say thank you for believing in me for no matter what reasons, and, for now, before I take step to eternity, I want you to know that I promised myself that you are the only person I'll find and love you again through our next lives, see you soon.

"I will also find you, Jack. You are the only man that I will love again in our next lives. Thank you and see you soon." You whispered and tears started to fall to you.

Did you really reply to me, Elsa? No, it must be a coincidence.

"I can sense you there like a friend I've always known. Show yourself, I'm no longer trembling." You opened your eyes and started to see me like a dream.

I come close to you and place my head into yours.

"I see, you still believe in me no matter what." I whispered to her.

"Yes, Jack. Until eternity. Can I feel you for the last time?"

"Yes, you may, Elsa. I love you."

"I love you too." You smiled as you closed your eyes and cry.

Once I closed my eyes, I cried and at the same time I feel my soul fades little-by-little.

And for the last time, I see your smile from the day I first encountered you.

Because it is the only smile that enlightened me out of my darkness.

See you soon. I will find and love you again to our next lives.

#frozen #jackfrost #jackxelsa #jelsa #jelsacomics #riseoftheguardians #rotg #disney #dreamworks #elsaxjack #jelsa fanfics #jelsa edits #jelsa comics #frozen 2 #jelsa shippers #fanfics #romance #death #memories #promises #queen elsa #romance fanfic #oneshot

[mila-dans]

Spells Out Trouble: Up Around the Bend

This is chapter six of “Spells Out Trouble.” Masterlist Here!

Chapter Five: Owner of a Lonely Heart

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word count: 5020

Summary: You have been with the Winchesters for several years now going through all the literal trials and tribulations with them. What happens when Dean gets hit by a love spell and becomes head-over-heels for you? Will your pushed down emotions finally rise or will you get in over your head? Find out what happens when your best friend’s hard exterior becomes mush whenever you end up in his eyeline.

Just so you know: This is my first Fanfic so sorry if there are aspects missing. “Spells Out Trouble” is a series with about ten chapters. If you have any suggestions or tips, I’d love to hear from you. Thank you and I hope you enjoy it! (Also, not my gif!)

He signaled for you to come over to a room. “So this is your room,” he said as he opened the door. You ran inside and took off your wet layers that became soaked from the rain. “I paid for three nights upfront. Me or Cas should swing by later with some of your clothes and stuff. Okay?”

You go back towards the door.

Slam

---------------------

Crying. Sobbing. Screaming. Terror.

“Help!”

“Help us, please!”

“I just want to go home!”

“Help me! Save me! Please!”

The cries and pleas for help continue. It sends shivers down your spine and makes you feel as if you too were in just as much anguish and pain. The lights kept flashing on and off. All your senses were distorted. All you heard were screams, all you saw was abrupt streaks, and the smell… The smell was the worst part. It smelled rotten, nasty, filthy. Burning flesh, bones smothered with flames. It was hell. Hell on earth. The underground basement was so wide and vast, the echoes of the screams only made it more difficult to navigate.

“Mom,” you struggled to say with the heat and lack of water taking all the moisture from your throat. “Mo--Mom.” You continued to croak. You kept going through the halls, passing by all the cages filled with children. Cages that could’ve just as easily had you in. “Mom!” You try to shout, but instead only hearing the raspy affects.

“Y/N?!”

You look up to see her there. Your mom. She was covered in blood from head to toe. She reached out to you as you fell into her arms. “Momma!” You started to revitalize the idle tears that had been streaming down your face.

“I’m here, baby. I’m right here!” She says while lifting your head up to see the darkened under eyes and pale complexion. She managed to wipe some of the dried blood from your face before she put you back into her comforting embrace. “I’m right here, baby.”

“Where--where’s dad?” You muster out, sending a shocked look your mother’s way.

“He--He’s not here?! With you?!” You shake your head no in reply. “Okay,” she says trying to remain calm. “Okay. Here’s what’s gonna happen: baby, you go and you break everyone out of here. Once you do, you go with them and take them far, far away from here, okay?”

“But, what are you gonna do? I can’t leave you and dad?”

“Yes you are, Y/N! You leave and you run and you keep going! Don’t stop and don’t come back. I’m gonna create a distraction to keep the witch busy. Then I’m gonna find your father and everything will be alright. Okay, baby? Can you do that for me?” She nods yes to your nodding no.

“No! Momma, I can’t leave you!” You cry out.

“Yes, you can. You will. And then tomorrow, we will go out for a snow cone like we always do for your birthday. Okay? It’s okay.”

“No, mom,” you keep saying.

“Yes. And look at this,” she pulls out a silver dagger, “here’s an early birthday present. Okay? Happy early sweet 17 Baby!” She pulls you in for another hug. She remains strong even as the world seemingly falls apart. “I love you, baby!” She says as she pulls away.

Lights flash. People scream. She’s gone.

--

After getting all the kids from the cages and taking them outside and down the street, you looked back at the witch's house. Your mother, your father, your life was still inside. And quickly, you too were inside.

--

You walked up from the basement, into the living room. You knew you were going against your mother's words, but you didn’t care. You needed to save them. You had to help them. You stood behind a big china cabinet in the dining room, watching as the witch had your parents pinned to the wall.

“This is what happens, you imbeciles, when you screw with me!” The witch shouted. “You die!” She started to choke your parents with just the formation of her hand.

“No!” You shouted as you leaped from behind your shield. “Let them go!” You ordered as you aimed your gun at the witches head.

“Oh, honey,” the witch says with a smile. “That was real stupid.” She lets your parents fall down and then she grabs a knife, turning her attention towards you.

Thud

“No!” You scream out as you go to your mother. Your father raced after the witch but you stood by your mother’s side. In shock. In peril. “No. No. No,” you say as tears start to form. This was all your fault. If you would’ve just stayed outside and listened to your mother, your now dying mother. Your mother who is bleeding out all over the floor from a knife to her heart. The same mother who jumped in front of you, is now choking on her own blood.

“Pr--Promise me..” She says as the blood overflows her mouth. “Take care of your father--take care--I love…” And with that, her last dying breath, she made you promise to take care of your father. A promise that you so stupidly and selfishly broke. Only two years later did you leave your loving dad. Only three years after that did your dad die, only two days after your own mother’s death anniversary. You left, they died. You tried, they died. No matter what you do, they still die. You killed them. It is all your fault. All of it is on you. All those lives and their blood are on your hands.

------------------

“Ah! Ah! No! Ah!” The screeches sounded worse than the sirens.

“Y/N!”

“Ah! Ah!”

“Y/N!”

“No! Ah! Ahh!”

“Y/N, wake up!”

“No!” You said as you shot up from the bed. Sam had his arms shaking you so that you could awake from your nightmare of memories.

“Hey! It’s okay!” Sam says as your heart beats faster and faster. He puts you into an embrace holding you tight and close as he rubs your back. “It’s okay.”

“No!” You say as your voice cracks.

“It’s okay. Deep breaths, Y/N. Deep breaths. Shh. Shh.” Sam tries to help you calm down.

“No,” you say, still stuck in the nightmare.

“Cas, get some water!” Sam orders. “It’s okay. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.” Sam pulls you away from him and props some pillows behind you. “It’s okay, Y/N. Here,” he says as he gives you some water.

You take a minute to stop the loud pounding in your chest. You notice the surroundings. It was Sam and Castiel in the motel room where they had last left you. The door looked as if it had been busted open while remaining on slightly damaged hinges.

You take a deep breath as Sam and Cas look at you while sitting on the bed. “What happened?” You say as you clear your throat.

“We didn’t hear from you yesterday,” Cas says. He was right. It had been three days since you found a new residence in this motel and you tried to send a text or a call every day. Yesterday, you just didn’t.

“Yeah, we figured we’d come by to check in one you. We came and then we heard the screams,” Sam continues.

“Yes, I knocked down the door so that we could make sure you were alright. Are you alright? Did someone do this to you?” Cas asks. Always worried.

“Ha,” you laugh sarcastically. “I wish someone did this to me. That way, I could kill them.” You smile trying to lighten the mood and take another sip of water, trying to strengthen your hoarse voice.

“What is it then?” Cas asks again.

You chuckle. “Sam knows. It’s called night terrors.”

“I didn’t know that you had them, Y/N,” Sam replies with a sincere voice.

“Well, there’s a lot you don’t know about me, pal.”

“Actually, Dean told us what happened.”

“Right.”

“I’m sorry for what happened, Y/N,” Cas says. “I would’ve never asked how you were if I knew how you were.”

“It’s alright, Cas. I think that’s how the whole asking thing works.” You smile trying to change the tone of the situation.

“Y/N?” Sam asks.

“Yep?”

“Why,” Sam takes a deep breath. “Why didn’t you tell us that? That’s insane to keep all of that to yourself.”

“It--It’s sad. It’s my fault and I didn’t want you guys to think less of me. I mean, you’ve already accepted me as a part of your family, one which I do not belong in.”

“That’s not true, Y/N. It wasn’t your fault and you are just as much a part of this family as me, Dean, and Cas are family.” Sam goes in for another hug. “We love you, Y/N. So much. I love you and you don’t have to hide anything.”

“He’s right,” Cas adds. “About everything. I think of Sam and Dean as brothers just as much as I think of you as a sister.” You wipe your eyes and smile.

“You don’t have to deal with that type of stuff alone. We are here for you, right now.” Sam smiles at you. You look to Cas and he is doing the same.

“Okay,” you let out as you straighten your position on the bed.

--------------------

You told them everything. You let it all out. For the first time, in ten years, you finally opened the memory drawer and viewed it all. Your life as a hunter, your mother’s death, your leaving your father, your father’s death, and you finally running away. You ran away and then ran to the Winchesters. The three of them had saved your life. Again. And again. And now. The cheesy therapy session that you had between Sam and Cas actually helped. That part of your life has left a scar but there’s no need to keep picking at it. It’s in the past. You’re in the present. Time to look to the future.

-------------------

It had been a month since you left the bunker. Two weeks since you left the crappy motel room and instead moved to one of Bobby’s old hunting cabins. And one week since you last saw one of the boys. Sam and Cas would check in everyday. Occasionally they would even visit to bring some supplies or just to see how you were. You had worked a case or two with Cas while Sam was off doing who knows what with Dean. You hadn’t talked to Dean since that night. The night that he kissed you and instead of continuing the kiss, you had run away. You were still worried that Dean might try something again so you thought it would be best if you weren’t in communication with him. Cas said that Dean had managed it all by drinking, sleeping, and refusing to eat all day. He said that Dean would go out on a hunt then right back into his bed. Heartbroken. Sam summarized. Wouldn’t eat, wouldn’t even talk.

Heartbroken. Which one of you really were?

As soon as you could find a cure, Dean’s status would just fade away. You had kept looking as did the rest of the gang, for a cure. It still bothered you every time you picked up a book to fix the situation that you didn’t really wanna fix. Your heart? Would the pain just fade away? Would it only hurt worse once Dean sees how you used him while he was under the spell? How you messed with him? Kissed him? It wasn’t drastic but it was you and Dean. Something that you have wanted for so long. You can even remember the day that you fell for him.

-------------------

Three years ago. Chesterfield, Missouri. Damn Nazis.

“Hey, hey! We’re good,” Dean says trying to convince the little girl who had ended up in the crossfire. “Everything’s fine. Okay? Just stay right here.” The little girl nods as she goes under the desk. “Good girl.”

“Where are they?!” You ask, trying to search the classrooms for the kid that the Thule had taken.

“I don’t know! I don’t know!” Dean says. He shoots two more guys as they walk into the art classroom with weapons aimed. “Uh, uh…. Hang on!” Dean rushes to a set of lockers.

“No!” A little boy cries out as Dean opens the door.

“Hey! Hey pal! It’s me,” Dean says warmly, trying to calm the child. “I need your help, kiddo.” The child nods his head. “Good. I need to know if there are any other exits in the school that you can think of. Any that aren’t the main or back entrance.”

“Um..” The kid thinks.

“Any places? Think real big for me.”

“The playground!”

“Playground! Great, where can we get to the playground?”

“In Mrs. Amber’s room in the east hall.” The kid nods in reassurance.

“Thanks, pal.” Dean shuts the locker again, keeping the boy safe and out of harm's way.

“East hall?” You ask. Dean nods.

--

“Where are the hunters?” Thule member number one asks. “Find them! Now!” He yells, sending away his fellow idiotic psychopaths in arms. He goes over to the little child who is cowering in the corner. “Little girl? Do you know why we are here?”

“N--no,” she replies so scared.

“Well. You are a very important child my dear,” he says as he brushes her hair.

“I am?” She croaks out.

“Oh, yes my child. Very, very important.” He pats the top of her head and moves over to a globe. “See this?” He asks, pointing to Germany. 

“America?” She asks innocently.

He chuckles. “No. This is the great country called Germany. Not some putrid collection of simple-minded barbarians and their pig sties. This, right here, is your home little girl.” He smiles, terrifying the girl even more. “No, no, no my, Liebchen. Do not be scared. You are going to see your family.”

“No. I wanna stay. I want my momma!” She starts to break down crying again.

You hear the girls screams from the halls. You move closer to the source. Dean signals for you to take out the guards as he gets the girl. “One,” he mouths out, “two, three!”

You fight and take out the five guards that wanted a piece of you. Thankfully, they didn’t have a good grip on their guns as you were able to successfully kick them out of their hands. You knocked two of the guards out with a fist to the head. The other three all tried to go at you, as you did one groin punch to another.

Pow

“Ow,” you said as the shot hit your shoulder. You didn’t have time to think or cry. You snatched the gun of his hand and shot him, the two standing, and the two on the ground. You took your hand and placed it on the pain. Two inches to the right and you would’ve been done for.

“Y/N!” Dean yells as he sees the blood on your hand.

“Hey,” you say as you start to fall. Dean runs over to you, catching you right before you can hit the ground. “Did you get him?”

“Yeah, yeah. Are you okay?” Dean asks with a worried tone.

“I uh, got shot. Been better.” You smile.

Dean rolls his eyes as he can tell it isn’t serious. “Alright, slugger.” He lifts you up and he puts your arm around his shoulder as you head back to the classroom.

--

He sets you down at a desk as he starts to go over and gather all the children from their hiding spots.

You laugh a little in your head as you watched Dean take the hands of every boy and girl, escorting them outside. One after another, after another, until it was just you and him. He made sure every kid was out and away. Sam wouldn’t have done that. He would’ve just called the cops. Castiel wouldn’t have even thought to do it. He would be set on taking care of the bodies. But Dean, Dean made sure they were safe.

Dean had a gentle heart though his hard exterior may lead you to believe otherwise. Dean had always made you feel safe. It wasn’t that way with Cas or Sam. You trusted Dean. Even his gut feelings for things amazed you enough that you view it as fact. You knew Dean would be there to catch you. He always was. You always loved to pick on him and mess with him. Maybe it was because you couldn’t deal with the fact that he was pretty perfect. He was what you saw as being perfect. He could carry the world on his back while still making sure you, Sam, and Cas were okay. He went through it all and came out the other end. He never gave up. Never quit. It was him. It was always him.

--

Dean shut the car’s door and moved over to you in the seat. “Alright, lemme see.” He said as he pulled you close to him. 

“What about the bodies?” You asked as you backed away.

“Sam can take care of it. He hasn’t done anything else today,” he answers as he pulls you close again.

“I’m fine,” you say as you slide away again. Dean rolls his eyes and pulls you back in close to him.

“Let me see.”

“No, I'm fine.”

“Well, if you’re fine then why won’t you let me see?”

You throw your head back and huff. “Fine.” You start to unbutton your flannel and strip down to your tank top. You show the wound to Dean. “There. I’m fine.” You start to pull on your shirt but Dean stops you.

“Would you quit it? Why won’t you let me help you?” Dean asks frustrated.

“Cause I don’t want your help if I can do it myself,” you answer.

“When are you gonna realize that you aren’t on your own anymore?” Dean pulls a first aid kit from under the seat. “And I know you can do it yourself but I’m here so you don’t have to.”

“I know I'm not on my own. I just don’t want to have to depend on you.” Dean wets the cloth with alcohol and places it on the wound. “Ow,” you wince.

“Well,” Dean dabs the spot and puts more alcohol on it. “Yes, you don’t have to depend on me but you also can. And I’d take advantage of that cause I die often.” He takes some gauze and wraps it around your shoulder. “You should enjoy me while you can, sweetheart,” he says with a smile.

You pull your shirt back on and button it up. “Yeah, quit dying, Winchester. It isn’t an achievement.”

“Right, but you’re just saying that cause you're a death virgin,” he smirks.

“What?! Really? You're gonna play that card?”

“Don’t worry. I don’t judge. In fact, I think it’s very pure of you,” he says with a chuckle.

“If you want me to die then I’ll go and get myself killed! You really want that?!” You say with a rising anger towards Dean’s snarky comments.

“No,” he says with a sincere tone. “I don’t want that, believe it or not.”

“Really?” You say, surprised with his shift in tone. “Why?”

“I’d uh, I’d miss you. You’re family and I’ve already lost so much. I don't want to lose my best friend too.” He looks at you as he fiddles with his keys. “So don’t die. Don’t ever die. Don’t you dare cause if you do,” he looks at you with a stern face, “I’ll kill you.” He smiles as you roll your eyes.

---------------------

That’s when you feel in love with Dean Winchester.

After saving the kids and the moment in the car, you could tell that you had fallen head over heels for him. The last thing that you remember about that day was getting blackout drunk, and magically waking up in your bed the next morning. But you realized after your hangover that alcohol wasn’t gonna make those feelings go away.

Now, you just wish you could magically wake up from this dream. This nightmare. You hated being away from the boys, your family. Diving into cures for Dean’s ailment was a priority. You wish you could focus more. You wish you could want it more. Sure, you wanted the real Dean back but this Dean, this Dean made you feel good about yourself. This Dean looked at you like you wish he would. Dean meant so much to you and you wished you meant something to him too. You loved him. It wasn’t because of his looks or his intelligence. It wasn’t because his strength or his wit. It was his heart. His kind and loving and caring heart. The heart that sold his soul for his brother, forgave his best friend after he wronged him, and gave you redemption when you needed it.

You miss that heart.

You want that foolish heart back.

You are gonna get that heart back or die trying.

------------------------

Bzz. Bzz.

You searched the room for your phone. You had the books scattered about the cabin and would trip over them every night and morning. It was all just one big blur. You would spend hours a day, if not the whole day, researching a cure to get Dean back. Anything and everything seemed to be a viable option.

Bzz. Bzz.

“Hello?” You asked as you picked up the phone.

“Y/N?” Sam called.

“Hey, Sam! What’s up? How is he?” You take a seat on the couch.

“He’s uh, he, he’s the same,” Sam struggles to say.

“Right,” you sigh. “Heartbroken.”

“It’s not your fault, Y/N. You did what you thought was best when you left. It’s not your fault that he’s like this.”

“Yeah, but it’s not not my fault either,” you try to explain.

“Do I miss my brother?” Sam says with a saddened tone. “Yeah, I do. But that’s why I called.” Sam pauses to take a breath. “I think we’ve got something.”

“What?” You ask.

“It’s time you come home, Y/N.”

-----------------

“Y/N!” Sam shouts as he walks over to hug you.

“Sam!” You wrap your arms around him.

“I’ve missed you, Y/N. I’m happy you’re home.” He smiles.

“Me too and well, me too,” you say with a laugh. “Is Cas here?”

“No, he had to do something with Heaven.”

“And you let him go?! You know they want to kill him right?!”

“Yes! Yes. I know but he said he had to.”

“I’m gone for one month and already Cas is possibly in danger,” you sigh but give a sly smile.

“I know!” Sam says sarcastically. “Without you, it’s been one great big ball of chaos. I mean, no one to boss us around or make us dinner. No one to do our laundry!”

“Oh, shut up!” You say as you hit him on his shoulder. “Speaking of chaos though,” you say shyly, “where is he?”

“In his room. I told him what was going on and he thought that he should just stay out of the way.”

“Good,” you say unconvincingly. You missed him.

“I’m glad you're back, Y/N.” Sam says with a smile.

“And now that I am, what have you got?”

------------------

You and Sam had set up shop in the Library, going through one book after another. Sam had found an old book that had about two-hundred different spells and cures in all sorts of different languages. He called you because you just happened to be bilingual. One translation led to a book and another translation to another. It took about six hours straight till needing a break got to you. But you wouldn’t quit.

“Come on,” Sam said as he begged you to stop reading for just a second. “We’ve been looking at this all night. Give it a break.”

“No. We are so close. I can feel it,” you reply without even taking your eyes off the page.

“The more you try to figure this out, the worse of a headache you’re gonna get.”

You stare at the page and notice something. You grab the magnifying glass from the table and examine the seam of the page.

“What is it?” Sam asks, noticing your shift.

“It’s the page.”

“What about it?”

“It’s missing.” You look up at him as you both share a thought.

------------------

“Dean!” You yell as you race down the hall to his bedroom. You start banging on his bedroom door. “Open up the damn door now!” You shout.

The door opens slowly and you push through and start rummaging through the desk drawers. You take notice of all the empty bottles. From beer to vodka. They filled the empty space in the room.

“Where is it?! And don’t play dumb with me cause I know you took the page!” You turn to look at him. You see him for the first time since that night.

He stares at the ground with his head hung low. He has a short beard. Grown out his stubble. His complexion is paler than you've ever seen before. His freckles are showing all over his face. Under his eyes are dark circles. He’s the worst shape you’ve ever seen him in other than when he is bloodied and covered in bruises. But this was different. You could hear his heavy breaths. They were uneven. He was nervous. He looked lost. He wouldn’t let himself look at you. He was backed in the corner, scared like. He was heartbroken. Just like they said he was. Only you couldn’t picture a heartbroken Dean. This was awful and unlike any state you’ve ever seen him in. You hated to see him like this.

“Where is it?” You ask sincerely. He turns his head away, still refusing to look at you. “Dean, tell me where it is?” He stares at the ground. You turn back around and keep going through his drawers. “This would go a lot faster if you would just tell me where the page is, Dean.” You go through the box under his bed. “Why would you take it? You could’ve stopped so much from happening if you just told us you found the cure.” You find a folded page placed in a notebook.

It was it. You found the cure.

You shake your head at Dean. This all could’ve been avoided if he would’ve just fessed up to the knowing the antidote. You could cure him now. You could fix him. It would all be over. It would all just be over. You headed to the door and were going to go back to Sam and fix up a reverse spell.

“I know you’re in love with me,” you hear Dean say. His voice stops you in your tracks. The voice sounds so deep. Heavy and burdened. You turn around to see Dean standing there with tear-filled eyes. You look at him confused about his remark. “I hid the cure cause I know you're in love with me, Y/N.”

Your heart drops. “What?” You say as your voice cracks.

“I love you, Y/N. I’m in love with you and I know you're in love with me. I hid it cause I wanted you to be happy. To be happy with me. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” He looks at you so lost. He looks so hurt and in so much pain.

“Dean,” you try to say but instead he rushes over and just holds you tight.

“I’m sorry,” he says as he puts his one hand on the back of your head, pushing it close to him while his other hand is wrapped around your waist. “I just have to make sure you’re real.” You wrap your arms around him and squeeze him tight.

“I’m real, Dean.” You look up to the lost boy as he looks down at you. You go to sit on the edge of the bed as you take Dean’s hand so he does the same. “Dean, we have to fix you.” The words cut your throat as they come out. “We have to fix this.” Dean tilts his head down as tears start to fall from his eyes. You put your hand on the side of his face to get him to look at you.

Poor Dean. Poor, sad, heartbroken, in pain, Dean.

“I just… I just am so happy. For the first time in forever, I’m happy, Y/N. And it’s because of you.”

“Dean, it’s not real. This isn’t real.”

“It’s real enough. I’m not hiding anything. I don’t feel burdened. I don’t feel bad, I feel great. When I see you, I get butterflies in my stomach. I feel faint just by looking at you. Your my compass, always steering me straight. I’m a wreck without you. I just want you. I want you and me till the end of time.”

“No, Dean. This isn’t really how you feel. You’ve got to know that this is just the spell.”

“I know I love you. I know you love me. And I know the only way to prove it to you is to do the reverse spell.”

“You--you wanna do it?” You asked, shocked.

“I know you’ll never accept that I love you while I’m under the spell. And you’ll never love me back while like this. I loved you before the spell and if fixing me and taking away my happiness is how I can finally get you, then it is worth it.”

You close your eyes, overwhelmed that Dean is more onboard than you seem to be. You can feel his hand on your face and as you open your eyes you see his bright emerald eyes.

“Dean…” you almost start to cry.

“Shh, it’s okay.” He smiles at you and you laugh a little. “I just want you to be happy.”

You take a deep breath and start to get up and walk towards the door. You feel Dean tug on your hand and pull you back. You turn back to look at him as he hangs on to your hand.

“Please,” he says. “Please don’t go again. Stay. Please.”

Without any objection, you walk back towards the bed with your hand in Dean’s. You lay on top of the covers facing Dean. He turns off the light and you just stare at each other. Hand in hand. Your eyes slowly close as you drift off into sleep.

“Tomorrow's Gonna Be a Brighter Day.” - Jim Croce

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Hope you enjoyed it!

Tag list is open!

@crazybutconfidentaf @doctorlilo @pillowjj @busy-bee-angel-misska @vicmc624​

​Chapter seven: Beautiful Sunday

#dean winchester #dean x reader #supernatural #supernatural fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #sam winchester #castiel #fiction #lovespell #supernatural fandom #spellsouttrouble

[shirtlesssammy]

15x13: Destiny’s Child

Welcome to our last new recap for a while (frowny face). We’ve got a couple requests that we’re going to work on in the next couple weeks, and then chip away at all the episodes we have yet to do while we not-so-patiently wait for more episodes. If you have requests, don’t hesitate to ask! 

Then:

Cas loves one (1) pizza man.

Now:

Late night study sesh in the bunker is interrupted when Sam and Dean hear a weird noise down the hall. They take off for the armory, only to find a Fiat and ---SAM AND DEAN?! (And while I guess it’s not, I’m just rolling with the idea that Savage Garden is blasting from that little clown car. I mean, really, what a perfect song and one I never thought would EVER pop up on this show --okay, or any show, it’s been like 20 years since I’ve heard that song, lol.)

The rift flickers and Alt!Sam and Dean disappear. 

They tell Cas about what happened. Billie pops up to tell them that Chuck is almost done destroying all the other worlds. They have to be ready --and by that, she means, it’s time for the next step in Jack’s training. He needs to find the Occultum. Sam helpfully translates that as “hidden.” It is hidden --lost for centuries. 

Once Billie takes off, Sam sets to learning more about the Occultum. There isn’t much. Dean ponders the futility of killing God. Doesn’t Jack need to kill Amara too? Cas gets a lead on the Occultum from Sergei. Dean and Cas flirt unnecessarily. Cas is so patient with all of Dean’s ideas, I can’t help but think that this is a common thing with these two.

Anyway, the Occultum was owned by the Jacobson family for a long time, until they used it as payment to heal their son. The healer was “attractive, and she healed the child by laying on hands which glowed.” I don’t know if there’s been an unattractive person in this universe, so good luck finding the healer! 

Lol, j/k, there’s only one angel healer that’s attractive out there! Sam and Dean find Anael and want her help with killing God. She thinks it’s wiser to stay on the side of the all-powerful being. When the brothers flash their angel blades (eerrr…), Anael confesses that the Occultum is really with Ruby. (I was one of the many rage viewers with this, but well, we’ve been rage watching these writers for so long, and we’ve had to handwave SO much over the years. What’s another plot point that we can easily headcanon at this point? Sigh.)

We get a flashback of Ruby and Anael negotiating the sale of the Occultum. Anael then tells them that the Occultum was never actually sold because they ganked Ruby before she could do anything with it. It’s now safely hidden in Hell. 

Jack, meanwhile, is busy getting back to life. 

Cas finds him in the kitchen eating EVERYTHING. Jack notes that coming back alive really makes you pay attention to what life is. “Hot, cold, sweet, spicy, funny, scary.” (Kind of like Sam when he was soulless, Jack is describing sensations, and not feelings, emotions, not really getting at what life really is.) They talk about Jack’s soul and what he felt when he had one.

Jack admits that he understands that he hurt Sam and Dean, and wonders if Dean will ever forgive him for what he did to Mary. “Dean, he feels things, more acutely than any human I’ve ever known. So, it’s possible he could work through this. One day, he may explode, and let it all out, and breathe deeply and move on.” 

Okayokayokayokay. Jack wants to know how long that’ll take and Cas admits that he doesn’t know, and I’M FEELING about how this ageless, ancient being is just WAITING for Dean to do this very thing. He has all the time in the world from his perspective. He knows Dean --really knows him, and it doesn’t matter how long for him because time doesn’t really matter for Cas (I mean, I think being close to humanity and all it probably means more than it used to but...I’m just rambling about my feelings right now. This is Boris --Natasha is far more coherent and eloquent with her thoughts, lol.)

The brothers make it back to the bunker, planning on heading to Hell. Cas leads them to a room where Alt!Sam and Dean are stuck between the worlds. Dean doesn’t care at this moment --he wants to get the Occultum. They tell Cas their plan and he thinks they’re crazy. They could be searching forever down there. (UH, they’re LITERALLY BFFs with the Queen of Hell.) 

Anyway, Dean and Sam head south while Cas babysits the spell. 

Cas still doesn’t like this plan and hatches a plan with Jack so he can talk with Ruby in the Empty. 

(I know, you just have to roll with Buckleming episodes, etc., but their insistence on making it beyond easy to jump from realm to realm is MADDENING.) 

We get a mention of Cas’s deal with the Empty, so that really is still a thing. Cas is “far from happy”, so we’re good!

His plan is for Jack to “draw out most of [his] lifeforce” and store it in a flask. What’s his “lifeforce”? His grace? Something more? Something else? How does he die without his grace? How is he just mostly dead but still able to go to the Empty? 

We’re also giving this exchange: “If I screw up?” “Well, then I’ll be lost forever.” WHOA. What kind of fucked up parenting are you writing, Buckleming? Good thing Jack doesn’t have a soul, because that’ll mess with a child forever.

Also, why can Jack use his powers now? 

Sam and Dean are ambushed in Hell. Anael wanted them dead apparently and made a deal with some demons (ONCE AGAIN, like Rowena would allow this to happen!?!??) They’re Sam and Dean Winchester though and easily dispatch the demons. 

Cas stalks through the Empty calling for Ruby. “Hello, Clarence,” a familiar voice says and Cas turns to find Meg reclining on a throne. He looks sweetly surprised to see her before his face falls as he realizes she’s the Shadow from the Empty. 

The Shadow may be allied with Billie, but they’re definitely not good buds with Cas. Nevertheless, “Go get her, pizza man,” Shadow!Meg says and a ball of flame swirls towards Cas and turns into Ruby. 

Cas asks about the Occultum, and Ruby asks after Sam. Cas refuses to answer and, since I’ve been stress re-reading some regency romances lately, I’m gonna go ahead and say he acts like an affronted chaperone. 

For Gratuitous Cas Science:

We see another flashback of Ruby and Sister Jo’s wild adventures, only this time Jo is the one who invited Ruby to talk to her. Jo tries to tempt Ruby into hiding from the apocalypse in the Occultum. It turns out it’s a place AND a thing. A whatever, if you will. Ruby cut a deal with Jo, hid the object, and then died her noble death. 

Ruby promises to help Cas as long as he can get her out of the Empty. You see, instead of lullabies and sweet dreams, or even quiet and no dreams, the Empty is nothing but endless reels of regrets playing over and over for every angel and demon trapped there. “Yeah, I know,” Cas says quietly and we all break a little bit thinking about how he swore it was nothingness instead of constant emotional torture. (That’s SO on brand.) Cas promises to try to free Ruby in exchange for her intel.

The Winchesters return to find Jack babysitting the spell alongside a MOSTLY DEAD Cas. Despite Jack’s (actually really terrible) explanation, Dean and Sam demand that Jack bring Cas back right away. Jack unscrews the flask.

Cas isn’t getting out of this so easily, though. The Shadow smirks and clenches Shadow!Meg’s fist, sending Cas to the ground in pain. The Shadow still is no fan of Cas, and is only willing to uphold deals with Billie, who promised to send the Shadow back to a lovely snooze if they cooperate. 

The Shadow ruminates on the fact that Billie has never mentioned Cas as being essential to her plan. This makes Cas expendable. 

Cas sputters to life suddenly, only to face Dean’s angry-worried greeting. “You’re an idiot, by the way!” Apparently still in pain or just suffering from almost-not-quite-dead-and-now-actually-quite-alive syndrome, Cas hauls himself up slowly and explains that he now has all the info they need to find the Occultum. “Am I still an idiot?” Listen, boys. Kiss and make up, mmkay?

They’re off to tackle the Occultum quest, but before they go they need to set out some decoys to throw Chuck off their scent if he tries to spy on the bunker. Dean suggests pulling AU Dean and Sam out of the void and setting them up as fake Sam and Dean. He flippantly suggests using Cas’s grace to power the rift this time and FOR THE LOVE OF PIZZA DEAN it’s called body autonomy. 

Cut to the Winchesters Set One and Set Two seated at the map table with beers all around. We learn:

Alt Winchesters are also hunters

Their dad is alive (but still SUPER controlling)

They don’t drink beer or watch porn

Private planes fly them all over the world to fight monsters

Their AU could be a middling CW pilot about wealthy monster hunters called “Hunter Corp”

I have a greater appreciation of our flannel-clad boys

Dean and Sam clumsily explain their ploy and their relationship with God and it’s not weird at all! 

Later, Team Free Will 2.0 heads to a small church. It’s guarded by a hellhound, which makes Dean SUPER happy and comfortable in his skin. They break into the church and look for clues about where the treasure is hiding. The clue is that the top of a cross points to the treasure. Moonlight streams conveniently through the window and at JUST the right angle to cast a cross of light on the floor. They pull out a little velvet bag from the floorboards.

Cas reads Enochian on the little golden snitch-style ball. “In order to be in the Occultum, the Occultum must be in you.” 

Back at the bunker, Alt!Dean and Sam enjoy their new rugged life. Sam watches kitten videos, and we continue to identify very strongly with him, indeed. Alt!Dean finds porn on Dean’s computer and I continue to ask WHY WHY we have to constantly cycle back to Busty Asian Beauties. Porn isn’t objectionable, but that SPECIFIC porn franchise should have died a swift death back in season two. (Boris: AMEN)

Jack swallows the Occultum, as one does. “Spit it out,” Dean demands. But Jack disappears into a flare of light. He wakes up in a garden. 

No, he wakes up in THE Garden. He’s greeted by a young girl who tells him that humans are prohibited. A snake confronts Jack. “Who are you really? Who are you meant to be?” Jack flashes through his good and bad memories and suffers an epiphany. 

He flutters back into the church like Tinkerbell in a ball of light before zapping back into reality. His reappearance burns away the two hellhounds. 

Back at the bunker, Dean sends the Alt Winchesters off to Brazil to enjoy the beach. He’s a little uncomfortable around them until he learns that the Alt Winchesters drove Baby. Then they get shoved out of the bunker just as fast as you please.

Once they’re gone, Cas tells Sam and Dean that Jack has returned changed. He leads them to Jack who hunches over the kitchen table. Jack is crying. He apologizes for killing Mary. He has his soul back!

“Please forgive me,” Jack whispers, and a symphonic line carries us into the black.

Overall Surprisingly Enjoyable Quotes:

The healthcare system sucks so I pick up the slack

Cas, you know what’s good about being dead?

I’m far from happy, so I should be fine

We had a good thing until he killed me

You’re gonna have to lose the man bun

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

#spn recap #spn 15x13 #destiny's child #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #jack kline #anael #ruby #the shadow #meg masters #supernatural season 15

[fundielicious-simblr]

wips!

Hey y’all, author here (still feels weird calling myself that ngl) I was inspired by @meetthefundies​ post about pose making from a while back and decided I’d take the dive and finally get into cc making for the sims 4. It’s always something that I’d thought about, and with corona basically shutting everything down I’ve had ample time to try and learn how to do things. The whole of last month was basically a bunch of trial and error, YouTube watching, and Tumblr scrolling (coupled with my parents asking why I have pictures of random white people saved onto my google drive almost every other night 😂💀)

In the middle of august my dad caught corona, and so the government isolated my whole family and I in the house (he’s all better now thankfully) for 2 weeks, meaning I had 14 uninterrupted days of just coming up with different designs and trying to make things work. So this post is to basically just put out there what I’ve been working on, a few have made it into my game to be play tested, but so far only one has actually left CAS 😂 I know these are definitely major works in progress, but my anxiety means that I’d keep redoing things over and over again in an attempt at perfection while the rational side of me tells me that everyone has a starting point - this one is just mine. Anyway, I’m rambling (as usual), so let me just post the damn picture so I can go back to actually working on these pieces 😂😂

I’ll start with the casual clothes,

This is what I’m working on right now, ironically it’s the easiest thing I’ve done so far. This is essentially one of those ‘Snoga’ sports skirt things that fundies wear, this is the second round because the first had annoying clipping that meant I had to go in and change the design. If this one turns out fine enough then I will make different skirt/legging length combinations, but for now I just need this to be usable enough in game to warrant making different styles. 

Sleeveless frumper dress thing (I’ll sit down and come up with names for these later 😂) 

This was inspired by Anna Marie Maxwell and her #fabulous frumpers as well as the frumpers the Maxwells used to wear in the 2000s, I stalked the Maxwell blog right back to the beginning and just started saving pictures 💀 This is so far the only thing that’s made it into an actual game save, and you’ll be seeing a sim or two wearing this in different swatches in around a month since my queue is now below one month long. This dress is probably between the 8th and 10th attempt at making a basic frumper as this is what I started trying to make as I was trying to learn everything I could about making cc.

Basic short sleeved cheap looking dress (like I said, official names will come later 😂)

This your basic average amazon dress that fundies love ( a la bates sisters boutique style) I’m at that point where my instagram explore page thinks I’m a 14 year old Apostolic girl or a baptist mother of 8 looking to change my style, so I have a wealth of inspiration to choose from 😂 This is something I made and forgot about because I got excited about the exercise skirt almost working in game, meaning that this hasn't even made it into blender yet. 

Now we can move onto the formal stuff:

Ruffle mother of the bride/groom dress

This is my attempt on that blue ruffle dress that Kelly Jo Bates wore to Erin and Zach’s weddings. I initially tried to make it exactly like the dress she wore, but then I realised I was falling into the tendency of making things hard on myself unnecessarily 😂 This has made its way into CAS but there was some awkward clipping around the arms which I need to fix in blender, and will fix the textures before I can try and test it again.

Fishscale type dress 

Yup, you guessed it, this is my take on that dress. This made it into blender, but seeing the uv_0 layout made me go “eek” and distract myself with something else 💀 I’m probably going to go in and change the design, take some creative license and change the ‘fishscales’ around because there's only so much space in the uv map. 

Wedding Dress 1 aka the ‘Anna Marie’

I’ve highkey been calling this one the ‘Anna Marie’ in my folders because this wedding dress is directly inspired by hers (fyi: this link does take you directly to the Maxwell family blog, that web archive website is banned where I live and I’m not sure how to upload an archived link with my vpn on cause sometimes my laptop starts moving mad) This dress is one step away from being tested in game, and was so far the easiest dress to ‘design’ because there's literally nothing on it. I have been watching some more advanced texturing tutorials and want to try and make this look a bit better than it came out in my initial texturing attempts before I bring it I game to test.

Wedding Dress 2 aka the ‘Elissa’

This dress was inspired by Elissa Maxwell’s wedding dress, there's not many close up details of her dress so at some point I just got creative and probably the only thing I can really lend to her dress is the gathering on the side. The bolero came in as an idea after I had attempted doing these cute sleeves but was defeated after a while, so I changed things up so as not to frustrate myself 😂 This dress also has a bit more texturing needed before I can attempt to see how it looks in CAS, but I think I'll just see what happens with this one.

Wedding Dress 3 aka the EBP

In my head this dress was meant to resemble what Erin Bates Paine wore to her wedding, as in, a dress that is fine and would be considered modest (albeit a bit dated) but is chopped and skewed to make it EVEN MORE modest. The kind of changes that are obvious so the whole world knows you’re extra special and extra modest. This dress was an experiment as I played around and attempted to construct a corset back for this dress and the ruched tacked on sleeves, which turned out alright but it needs a bit of tweaking here and there, as well as an overhaul of the initial texture I'd tried out for this dress. In the notes app on my phone the initial look I was going for with this dress was “EBP overly frilly disaster” because that’s what I thought her wedding dress was like, but when I found pictures I decided I’d save the overly frilly disaster for when I was slightly better at the whole cc making thing.

Anyway, this is what I’ve got for now, I’ve got a swim dress thing next on my list which might be slightly easier to bring from start to finish? Not sure, at this point its hit and miss with how the weights transfer which affects the end result. I do have to say, seeing all these unfinished things laid out has sort of reinvigorated me to try and finish what I’ve already started before making something else, especially since a lot of them just require me to play around with the texture.

#wow this was a lot #but also fun to do #sims4cc #lets hope I can get more of these finished so I can model it in game and have nice pictures #ive scrolled my way through so many google pages #literally never reached page 4 on google before until I started learning how to make cc

[azizi-kellerfamilyadventure]

Reflection of the last 6 weeks of travelling on the road....

Yay! I'm finally getting around to starting my blog all about our travelling adventures around the US.! This is a my first time blogging so my kids would definitely call me a "noob" (thank you Minecraft!). I personally prefer the name "newbie" instead...lol

So here it goes......after a lot of persuasion on my part (close to 2 years of trying to convince my husband to tap out of this rat race with me and the kids to slow things down and enjoy our life together while travelling the US) and a lot of planning on both our parts (another year once he agreed to my crazy plan), we began on our Epic Travelling Adventure on March 15th!

6 weeks into it we have really truly only explored Arizona but we are not complaining because oh my goodness......Arizona is absolutely beautiful! It's so nice to know that since we live in CA we can come back and explore again and again! Plus we did get to spend some wonderful quality time with family from both sides 2 of those 6 weeks!

Next we are heading to Utah. We made a pit stop near 4 corners hoping we could have the kids take pictures while being in all 4 states at once. But unfortunately, it was still closed due to Covid. While that was a bummer, the kids still thought it was cool that they could go from Arizona, New Mexico and Colorado all within 5 minutes of each other! We haven't explored Utah before so Michael and I are super excited about the next couple of weeks!

This trip has already been so wonderful for our kids. Not only have they been able to spend time with some quality time with their cousins on both sides of the family but they have also really enjoyed getting to meet and play with other kids from all over the country. Surprisingly, our idea is not as novel as I originally thought....lol. We have met SO many families who are doing what we are doing. A lot of them do have one parent who is still working remotely while the other parent focuses on home schooling their children. There are not many families where both parents are not working so we know we are truly fortunately! Really the only people we meet who are not working are those who have retired and their kids are grown up.

Another thing that I have enjoyed seeing is that my kids can stay connected to most of the kids they meet virtually through games like Roblox or Minecraft! And while I'm not a huge proponent of games and many aspects of our new "tech world" (for example my kids wanting to get on youtube to watch other people live their lives!), I'm happy to report that this is one aspect of the virtual video game world that I'm ok with....lol

So I was never really worried about my kids not having opportunities to socialize with other kids since I know that my kids are super social and make friends easily both with kids and adults, the real surprise for me was how wonderful the camping community has been! Everyone is just so kind, friendly and helpful. We have learned so much and received so many great tips from so many amazing people at almost each campsite we have been too. I would say that we have felt the community vibe at almost all of the Thousand Trails campgrounds and would highly recommend anyway interested in camping to sign up for a membership! (Btw....if you are interested in learning more about a membership just reach out and I can give you some information on it)

After avoiding people for so long due to Covid, it's been so wonderful for all of us to connect with people again! While we started off strong wearing masks every where we went, we have loosened up quit a bit each day. Since Michael and I have been vaccinated and we don't see my parents often while travelling, we seemed to be less worried about it. Plus, many people that we meet have been vaccinated so that's always a good thing too!

To be fair, honest and realistic about our experiences, I'm going to include my top 5 "not so fabulous" things about our travelling adventures.

5) Not having enough space for cooking! OMG! Even the simplest dinners are challenging to make because there's just not enough counter space on our kitchen. And did I mention that I have to constantly take out or put back our air fryer, blender, toaster oven....and the list continues! And I still haven't used the instapot! It's so big I don't know where to put it...lol

4) Making my bed! So I love making my bed in the morning. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and I just like to look at a clean bed. While our bed is SUPER comfortable so no complaints there, it's a King Size bed but there's not a King Size space for the bed. I literally have to get on my bed to make my bed. I know that doesn't even make any sense but believe me when I say it sucks and I'm not how sure how long the "daily making of my bed" is going to last...lol

3) So...one of the main reasons of this trip was to spend more quality time with the kids. Umm...I'm now thinking it would have been smarter if we could have traveled throughout the US in our actual house. I mean literally take our house on the road. My kids seem to think it's an actual home. They still want to play hide and seek, tag, and the boys constantly want to wrestle. I keep reminding them that our RV is at max 240 sq. ft of living space so we can't treat it like our house back in Temecula. But I'm confident it's going in one ear out the other.

And I'm not quite sure how I forgot but I did... the arguing! It's kind of driving me a little crazy. And of course it mostly happens on our travelling days or when it's raining outside but oh my goodness! I think I used to just walk away and let them figure it out on their own but now I don't really have a place to hide. Did I mention that we lack space?!? LOL

On a positive note, almost every adult with kids whom my children have played with have literally made a point to come and tell us how well behaved, kind and wonderful our kids are. I smile and thank them for their kind words. But I can't lie....every once in a while really I just want to show them the video of them arguing about 30 minutes earlier....lol

2) Laundry! Ugh! I wish we would have purchased an RV with a washer and dryer. We are considering purchasing at least a washer but we need to find room for it first! Did I mention that we struggle with a lack of space...lol. In the meantime, I've literally been having the kids wear there clothes two days in a row (easier for Milah to do than the boys...ugh!) But don't worry, they are still changing their underwear and socks everyday...lol

1) Wifi! Where is this 5G network I've been hearing about because I can't seem to find it! When I was thinking of a name for my blog I was highly considering "wifi hunter extraordinaire". This has been my #1 thorn in my side. We decided to let the kids finish off their school year at their traditional public school since online was an option. Our thought was that it would make for an easier transition for them and it was only 8 weeks after spring break. Can we say "hindsight is 20/20"! I plan on homeschooling them next school year and should have just made the switch when we left. Don't get me wrong, the kids teachers are awesome! Super supportive and really try to be flexible but we still feel tied to being online at certain times for the zoom classes. I'm definitely counting down the days until they are done with school this year (29 days!)

But the most difficult thing about being on the road has been being away from my parents, brothers, sister-in-law, nieces and cousins in southern CA. Family has always been so very important to me and have always been a part of my "happy place". I wish I could take them all of with me on this epic journey. But for now, I'm once again thankful for technological advances like face time! (if only I could get reliable connection while on the road or at our campsites I would be much more thankful...ugh!)

Okey Dokey Artichokey....that's it for today! The good, the bad and the ugly for our first 6 weeks on the road. This took me longer than I expected to reflect upon our travelling experiences on the road so I will definitely be posting more often and not as lengthy....I think...lol

The rain has let up and the kid's movie is almost done so it's time to get the kids outside to burn off some energy then shower up and make some dinner...

Signing off for now....

~Durana