#my only hangup has been work | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

beggars-opera · 5 months

Text

Hey, so we don't talk enough about A Christmas Carol as being at least a little bit about not continuing a cycle of abuse and neglect, both against others and yourself.

In the book little Scrooge is left languishing over the holidays in a boarding school for some never-explained reason, but it is made very clear that this is miserable and unfair, and that his father is doing this on purpose. His sister specifically comes to tell him that "father is so much kinder now than he used to be, that home's like heaven." This also reflects a bit of Dickens's own childhood when his father went into debtor's prison and little Charlie was forced to support his family working full time in a shoe-blacking factory at the age of 12 (which is also why so many of his books seem to have a moral of "hey, kids are people too and maybe we shouldn't make them work in the mines.")

Whatever family reunion happened after didn't work out, because Scrooge continues believing that no one is coming to save him and pulling himself up by his bootstraps at the detriment of all other social relationships is the only way forward. And the more he lives by that philosophy, the more miserable he gets, because obviously he pushes away anyone who has that hope that he lost. They threaten to break down the walls he's built and teach him that a big pile of money doesn't have to be the only thing that he can rely on, if he'd just let himself be vulnerable and have a relationship with people who care about him, because they're out there even if he's ignoring them.

There is a certain type of person still very much out there who thinks this way. "I've never been happy in my life, so no one else has a right to be either. I was abused in my childhood so it's only fair that everyone else suffer as well." We see this in parents who still try to use corporal punishment, and in wealthy people who ignore the social factors keeping others down and scream that everyone else is just entitled, that only those who suffer and scrape deserve happiness. And they especially hate the people like Fred who represent the past that could have been, who have maintained hope for the future, and seem to be rubbing their optimism in your face, when in reality they're just maintaining hope because it's the only way you can survive.

It's so important for Scrooge to actually see the impact this thinking has on both himself and multiple generations. Rich people have this weird hangup about this story because they think Scrooge is bad because he's rich. He's not, he's bad because he's a horrible person and a miser - he doesn't use his money to better anything, including himself. Salting the earth, everyone suffers here, including him. And he learns that he's going to die old and alone without ever having spent or enjoyed his money, and that his family feels sorry for him, and that the nameless masses of poor people out there that he decries so much are in fact living, breathing people, including tiny disabled kids who don't deserve to suffer just because you decided life isn't fair.

In the end he takes responsibility for actually uplifting the people in the next generation who are trying to make the world a better place and no longer punching down, because it doesn't have to be this way. So many people out there just give up hope because things are hard and they think trying to improve things is a pointless exercise that makes them look dumb. How dare you grow a year older and not an hour richer! How dare you marry for love! That's the only thing more ridiculous than a Merry Christmas! When in reality, there are plenty of people who would love to see them happy if they just had a chance.

It's really sad that, while the language used to describe it has changed, these problems still persist. That people feel so wronged and isolated that they spend their days ensuring everyone else will be as well. That they fail to see their fellow humans as fellow humans who are just as deserving of love and kindness and a roof over their heads. I don't care what time of year it is, we should all be lifting each other up rather than tearing each other down.

#long post #rant #a christmas carol #charles dickens #history #books #literature #christmas #who hurt elon musk

755 notes · View notes

namis-gf · 3 months

Note

Just saw that you’re open for one piece requests and thought I’d drop by.

Would you consider writing back rub and back kisses hcs for katakuri or marco please? And best of luck with the come back ^^

anon ur so insane how did u KNOW i was thinking obsessively about katakuri for the past two weeks straight... ur too good. i meant to stick closer to the prompt but the plot kinda got away from me, sorry!

summary: strawhat!reader x katakuri meet again after many years apart during the whole cake island arc. luffy has been trying to convince him to join his crew with no success, but maybe he might listen to you?

word count: 969 words / 0.9k

cw: none? i think?

whoever said katakuri was 48 year-old eldest daughter syndrome is absolutely correct. he has so many hangups when it comes to both physical and verbal affection, most of the time preferring to passively sit by and let people bother him. case in point, your captain. instead of immediately setting sail for zou to meet up with everyone, luffy has taken it upon himself to convince the minister of flour that his presence is desperately needed on his crew. permanently.

and, if you're going to be polite about it: things aren't going well. you've watched for two days straight, luffy yelling either to the gentle giant's face (which is still quite a distance from the ground), or attempting to scale the walls of katakuri's home. neither of those particularly difficult for the rubber boy, considering the house slash castle itself seems to be basically falling apart.

you wait. nami often sits by your side, either grouching about the time, plotting your captain's demise, or napping on your shoulder. chopper and brook have taken to an almost betting ring of sorts, getting the remaining residents of komugi island to guess whether their leader will stay or go. so far, the odds aren't in luffy's favour. as usual, you might add.

at the end of their fourth extra night, luffy returns to the sunny. he looks a little downtrodden, yawning, but has somehow gotten a hold of a handful of mochi. "i think katakuri was trying to kill me again, but he lost. the food he makes is really yummy though, shishishi!"

with a sigh of your own, you offer, "let me talk to him, i have an idea."

"you do?" luffy replies, mouth full of sweets, "go ahead!"

"call if you need anything!" chopper chimes in.

nami only shakes her head. "if you don't come back, we'll assume you got trampled to death or something. so don't do that please."

"don't even worry about it, i'm basically a pro social hustler," you tell them, and begin the walk to the castle.

"so you are not a bard, or a songstress, or a very small jester. your presence here confuses me, you did not seem like someone who would ever become a pirate," katakuri tells you, his tone as solemn as ever.

"is this a roundabout way of saying i don't have any talents?" you mock-gasp with flair, "oh you wound me so!"

he stares at you wordlessly. okay, it looks like jokes are off the table.

"but you missed me right?" you try instead, putting on your biggest smile. "you missed me so bad, must be why you look so grumpy all the time."

"is your captain aware of..." he pauses, considers, "does the strawhat know of your past?"

"sort of?" you shrug your shoulders, shifting forward to adjust like you aren't already lying on one of his legs (truly the world's largest couch). "there was never exactly a good time to bring it up, ya know? like how was i supposed to say 'uh hey guys, i used to work here as the world's worst gardener before i got fired'."

"hm, that does seem difficult," katakuri nods. "i could not tell how much they knew, but you are lucky that none of my siblings happened to remember you well enough to say anything."

"small blessings for sure," you do your best to contain a laugh, however the echoing chambers of an empty castle only make it louder. "anyways, cut the bullshit. you're gonna come with me, right?"

his neutral expression shifts into something like a frown, and yet you can tell he isn't exactly angry at your presumptuousness either. "i would like to accompany you. but my duties to my... mother and the family take precedence."

"and if you left, she'd send the whole gang after you."

he sighs again. "yes, that is the most probable outcome. and i would not wish to put the strawhat crew in danger."

"that's charming," you reply, "but also really stupid. and i know you aren't a dummy, right? you've been hanging around this dreary archipelago for your whole life! don't you want to, i don't know, do something? go on an adventure?"

he doesn't respond immediately, but a large hand clumsily pats your head with his pointer finger. you grin, knowing victory must be in sight. "your totally evil mom doesn't even leave her place that often, so she won't even notice that you're gone! and tell me right now that you don't think luffy would be chomping at the bit to fight her again? be serious, mochi-mochi."

all of a sudden the ground shifts under you, and you make an embarrassing yelp as you're dragged up and up and up. katakuri holds your body by the back of your shirt, and you're only partially worried that he could drop you. death by splat on marble floor isn't appealing in the slightest. you're suspended by a shirt pinched between fingers as he squints slightly, as though looking for a secret in your expression.

"fine," he eventually says, "i will go. but if something goes wrong, do not say i didn't warn you."

"ah, you're bringing me back to old times!" you hum, making a familiar grabby hand motion for him to drop you on his shoulder. "except i think uh, the last time you warned me-"

"you got fired, yes," he says amicably, but acquiesces to your request. "left or right?"

"right! i wanna look like a really mean parrot, mr. pirate," you exclaim, laughing as he drops you gently where you'd asked. feeling mischievous, you press a kiss against his neck and watch as his face goes pink. "we should probably go make sure that you won't sink the sunny, though!"

"... and you somehow did not think to check something like that before?"

FIN (FOR NOW)

#one piece #one piece x reader #charlotte katakuri #charlotte katakuri x reader #gn!reader #requests open

149 notes · View notes

hero-israel · 3 months

Note

So I've seen a lot of talk from people who allow that Israel was justified to attack Gaza after October 7th, but they feel that Israel still attacked too indiscriminately, killed too many Palestinians, and destroyed too much of Gaza. Two particular hangups I've seen most commonly are the idea that Israel should have done a "tactical counter-terrorism" action rather than a ground invasion, and a specific objection to Israel dropping 2000 pound bombs on Gaza specifically. I don't feel that I know enough about military tactics, so I don't know how legitimate it would have been for Israel to go into Gaza "tactically" or to drop smaller bombs, but I suspect Hamas would be a lot stronger than it is currently, and the same people would still be tut-tutting Israel's actions (if not calling them out with equal outrage). It's very frustrating

Everyone wants a better alternative but nobody describes what it is. Reminds me of the recent post about the Houthis - "don't bomb them, you need to find a way to get rid of the Red Sea embargo that only kills the badguys and nobody else." Okay, I'll just ask the genie of the lamp to magic them away. There are no options for going into Gaza that aren't utterly horrible. Hamas knows this, it was the whole point of their trap, and it is working.

Here's a fair-minded, moving essay by a Gazan Palestinian saying Israel needs "targeted, low-intensity, long-term operation[s] that could sustainably reduce Hamas’ military capabilities and create conditions to introduce a new administration in Gaza," and also admitting "tunnel warfare is dirty, complicated, costly and requires lengthy efforts and campaigns, not the short and swift operations upon which Israel’s military doctrine is built."

IOW, "go in and kill Hamas and destroy everything they have - but don't kill anybody else. Find a way to do it slower and smaller and neater, but still make sure you win."

It doesn't work that way. The tunnels are obviously boobytrapped, how are you supposed to order men in? The problem isn't expense, the problem is failure. Also a slow, prolonged ground campaign would require a lasting re-occupation, another lose-lose. Israel has purportedly been using the 2,000 pound bombs as bunker-busters to collapse the tunnels - maybe that's working, but it also kills the hell out of people on the surface, again part of the trap. I am disappointed that the IDF hadn't spent every waking hour the last decade building some technical gizmo that could make the tunnels uninhabitable, some kind of seismic or ultrasonic whatzit. I said a while back that I was in favor of flooding the tunnels and fixing the environmental consequences later. I've got messages in my inbox now urging me not to take that stance, that Israel should not be seen as "salting the earth," but it doesn't matter since it seems Israel isn't actually doing it, for whatever reason, so there's no point in a Tumblr blog taking a stance either way.

Tom Friedman is another useless Boomer leftover from the '90s and his "philosophy-of-cab-drivers" shtick is laughable, but he actually raised a good point here:

Netanyahu, I would argue, doesn’t want to win. He wants to be winning, OK, that is, he wants to be able to say, we’re winning. We’re winning. We’re winning. It’s just around the corner. But he doesn’t want to actually win because, if the war actually ends, two things are going to happen. Then he can no longer avoid what is the new political end state. And I believe there will be an eruption, a massive eruption, of Israeli anger at him that I hope and pray will drive him from power because I believe he is not only the worst leader in Israel’s history. I believe he’s the worst leader in Jewish history.

And that’s a long history. And what is Netanyahu’s calculation? It’s very simple. If he is not in power and has to face the conclusion of his trial and three corruption charges without the protection and influence that comes over the judiciary from being in power, he has a very good chance of going to jail. People forget. Israel jailed a president and a former prime minister. They’re not afraid to do that. And he does not want to go to jail. And he does not want to give up power.

And so this is a terrible situation where Israel is in a existential war, and its prime minister has basically dual loyalties, one to the state and one to himself. And at every turn, he is prioritizing himself.

I wish I could totally rule out the possibility that Netanyahu is going to try to drag this out until Trump's inauguration next year. I can't.

109 notes · View notes

wordstome · 5 months

Text

Single Dad!König (Dream Daddy au)

(+ a bit of Ghost under the cut)

Thank you to everyone who indulged (said exactly what I asked them to say 😅) me.

Here’s the paragraph I wrote:

I imagine his heart sinking when Ava comes home sad and quiet, unwilling to look her dad in the eye. He recognizes what that means: that used to be him as a kid. His worst fears are confirmed when Ava admits she's being harassed by a boy at school, replaced by anger when Ava says her teachers simply shrugged and told her that boys will be boys, and has she considered that maybe he just has a crush on her? Needless to say, by the time König's walking out of that school, nobody will ever be hurting his little girl ever again. Honestly, one glimpse of Ava's dad by her classmates will keep her free from bullying for the rest of her life.

Now here’s a bit more about single dad König, namely, how he came to be a dad…and single :( Angst and death tw ahead (nothing graphic)

With Ghost, I said he would only have had Caden due to an accident, because of Simon’s previous trauma involving his family. He was firmly in the mindset that he would die in the field, he’s just not built for civilian life anymore, he's a danger to everyone who loves him. However, when Caden shows up at his doorstep, all he can think about is Tommy and his nephew Joseph when he looks at the boy. He probably does his best to get Caden sent to a different family member, but let’s suspend our disbelief that any responsible social worker would leave a kid with Simon “Ghost” Riley for a moment and say that the social worker is like “It’s you or the foster care system.” Realistically, Simon would probably be like “foster care is safer than living with me” but for the purposes of the AU, he took the kid in.

With König, he doesn’t have the same trauma/hangups regarding kids and family. He’s in the same boat as Simon: he’s a human weapon, and can’t function properly in civilian life. For König, his work is an outlet and keeps him stable. I’m gonna have to sit down and make a proper post about my König’s character (Alexander), but for my König, violence is a method of regulating his emotions and a way to manage his anxiety. Having power and being hyper competent in the field is key to his mental stability. However, I think he would be able to settle down, it would just take a very patient, special woman. (For the purposes of the AU his first partner is AFAB she/her.) Here’s where I start breaking hearts… 🤭

In Dream Daddy au, König considers his first wife the love of his life. She deeply understood him as a person and wasn’t afraid of him, even when he was socially awkward and intimidating. They were honestly kindred spirits: both of them had their neuroses and flaws, but instead of trying to fix each other or mold the other into some ideal partner, they accepted each other and thus were able to grow together. (And tbh they were already a match made in heaven anyway.) König’s wife never asked him to quit, and was completely ready to raise a child with him frequently being gone. She was a badass woman, and she really, really wanted to start a family with him, so they had Ava.

For three years, König was probably the happiest he’s been in a long time, and if you asked him he’d probably say it was the happiest time in his life. He was moving up the ranks at work, his mental health was in check, and he had a wife and adorable little daughter to go home to every leave. He started planning to transfer to a safer/more stable position, because as much as the military has done for him, he’s ready to step up as a father and a husband. Then he gets a call that changes his life forever, and suddenly he doesn’t get a choice anymore.

(I'm eternally sorry to the little fictional people I made up in my head because I entertained the idea of putting the Brooklyn 99 "Guess who got murdered!" gif here...)

One thing y'all need to know about my man Alexander is that he is the embodiment of "I am not meant for casual. I was born for soul-crushing devotion." His problem is that he never had devotion before his wife: he craved it like a starving man, and it engulfed him like water flowing into a basin when he got it. He had it for a handful of years (I'm thinking 6 but that's a flexible number), and now it's gone again. You know in movies when something horrible happens and they cut all the noise and there's just a high pitched ringing sound? That's König getting that phone call.

God. All I can imagine is König dropping everything and taking the next flight home. He’s in a daze, in a way that he’s never quite been before. His mind is finally quiet, but the emptiness is not peaceful. Then he finally sees his little girl, she runs into his arms, and the dam bursts. He just holds her and cries. He’s numb, a dead man walking throughout all the business that needs to be taken care of after his wife’s death. The only thing that brings him back to the land of the living is Ava. She’s so small, so sweet, and she doesn’t really understand what death means: all she knows is that her mama’s gone somewhere, and her dad is so, so sad all the time. She’s all that keeps him going, and the only reason he keeps himself alive.

By the time you come into his life, it’s been several years, but Ava is still a little girl. She doesn’t remember her mother at all except what König tells and shows her, because he’s determined to keep her memory alive. König’s been slowly rebuilding who he is as a person from whatever scraps are left. There’s a gaping hole inside him, and he’s reconstructed himself around the hole. In some ways he’s a totally new man, in other ways, he’s gone back to who he was before his wife came along. He’s bitter and angry at the way his life has treated him just as he was as a young man, but now he’s swallowed up by guilt and self loathing. He's gotten better at coping and functioning as the years have passed and life has continued on, but his grief has never really gone away.

(alexa, play "right where you left me" by taylor swift)

#HERE BUCCA GOES WRITING ESSAYS ABOUT A FICTIONAL MAN AGAIN #i spared you guys the 2 extra paragraphs about König’s changed perspective on death and mortality #könig #konig #könig cod #konig cod #simon ghost riley #simon riley #cod #call of duty #cod mw2 #dream daddy au

136 notes · View notes

swinging-stars-from-satellites · 30 days

Text

ok new prayer request: i really don't like my job. it's basically three jobs run out of the same shop, and I am only barely making miminum wage. it's frustrating and stresses me out so bad that I keep getting headaches, which NEVER happened this much before. the reason I'm here is because it is literally the ONLY place I applied that gave me the time of day, and because my boss and manager and coworkers are super nice.

I want a different job. something that maybe I'm not doing three(3) different jobs and only barely getting paid for one(1). maybe something that's just ONE SINGULAR JOB that I can be confident in instead of feeling like I'm constantly juggling things running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I also want to move. I want to get out of my parents' house and out of this tiny little two-horse town. I'd like to try and chip away at my ambitions and I just can't do that here, no matter how much my parents try to convince me I could have a small career here and stay in this town. I don't want to. I want to move.

the camp that my church has done retreats at is hiring for this summer. I'd make just about the same or possibly a little more working there than I do at my job currently for the same amount of time. and it's something I would LIKE to do. it's something that wouldn't make me so frustrated or anxious I believe and it also includes the opportunity to learn some higher-level production technology and possibly a connection to a major regional production company, which is the industry I want to work in.

I have two main hangups right now:

number one, the big one, is that for the last several months, for a while honestly, I've been struggling with some thought patterns and temptations that are sinful and wrong which I keep slipping back into those thoughts, letting my mind and imagination have the reins, and the habits that fuel this sin. I won't go into a ton of detail but some of my mutuals know a little. I'm working on it, but I have repeatedly messed up and turned back to these habits and that makes me feel like I shouldn't work at a Christian camp, since I'm struggling with (in my mind) a fairly major sin issue. however the camp's belief statement does mention the importance and value of repentance and growth, so there is that

the second issue is that I would feel SO bad for leaving my current job. I've only been here 6 months and everyone has been so kind to me and my manager is having a lot of family and personal issues and I would feel guilty for leaving so soon.

but I have this opportunity, which could be a REALLY good opportunity in many ways and would be something that I find PURPOSE in instead of just getting through the day. I'm praying on it, and I'm praying on my sin issues of the last half-year, but I would like to ask for additional prayer here on all these counts, too. I have confessed (mainly to people I trust here, since it's stuff I don't want to discuss with my mom lol) and repented but I have slipped and backsliding repeatedly, literally up until this week. I do think that wanting this camp job is a good motivator for growth in this, though. i could just use wisdom and prayer and peace about all this as I try to figure out what to do. thanks 😅💖

#Lu rambles #prayer request #adulthood woes #sighhhhhhhh

60 notes · View notes

cripple-culture-is · 11 months

Note

Sorry, but if you do not use a mobility aid, then you aren't physically disabled 🤷‍♀️ Only those with mobility aids can call themselves a cripple. I saw your main blog and that you are "physically disabled without mobility aids". That's not even possible. You can't be physically disabled and not require mobility aids.

And the fact that you believe you have the right to use the word cripple rubs me the wrong way. You have to look disabled in order to use that slur. Otherwise it's incredibly disrespectful.

If you can walk, you are not crippled. Crippled means to "cause (someone) to become unable to walk or move normally." If you can walk, you can move normally.

My first full on hate comment lol 🤣 I'm really moving up in the world.

But on a serious note, yes, you can be physically disabled and not require mobility aids. Physical disability isn't always stagnant. It isn't always as simple as someone who is paralyzed being a full time wheelchair user.

Since you used definitions, I'll use definitions. Physical disability is defined as "a limitation on a person's physical functioning, mobility, dexterity or stamina." Also, "any physical limitations or disabilities that inhibit the physical function of one or more limbs of a certain person."

I am physically disabled. I pretty much always have been. I have a mobility disability. I was diagnosed with juvenile idiopathic arthritis at 9 months old, an autoimmune disease. I did show symptoms at 4 months old at the latest though. Arthritis is actually the leading cause of disability and the most common disabling condition for U.S. adults.

I do not currently use mobility aids, no, but I am looking into getting a rollator for college. So I suppose that when I do get that aid, I will finally, in your eyes at least, be considered physically disabled.

However, I have reached a point in my life where I don't really care what people say about my disability. Whether you believe I'm physically disabled or not doesn't change the fact that I am physically disabled under U.S. law 🤣🤣

I got my permanent disability plates and placard when I was about 5 years old, though I probably could've gotten it before then.

I have always said that I have never used mobility aids. And while that's technically true, it's also not. I've never used traditional mobility aids regularly. I used a wheelchair in public once as a child, and I hated the pity looks adults would give me as I used to be more self-conscious.

However, I HAVE used untraditional mobility aids. While most people wouldn't consider them as such, I have used aids that have helped my mobility, mostly as a child, they just aren't stereotypical disability aids.

I was offered a wheelchair as a child, but due to the pity looks I got from adults, I turned it down. My parents worked around that hangup of mine by using things that I was confident enough to use for mobility as well as more acceptable to me.

My parents had bought this long stroller. When I got older, the typical strollers caused problems, in that I couldn't rest my legs on anything. So I had this stroller that had a leg rest that I could use to stretch my legs as keeping them bent for long periods of time physically hurts me.

I also sat in the baskets of shopping carts until I was in my mid-teens. My mother or father would put the cart with me in it and I'd sit in it as if I was merchandise just like everything else in the basket. This was all because I couldn't walk.

Though, what would happen when a stroller or shopping cart wasn't available? I would get a piggyback ride, mostly from my sister, though from my father as well. My mom did it only occasionally as she has joint issues just like I do.

Then, when I was a bit older, my parents bought me a red wagon. We would take it to amusement parks and carry some things in it. We'd use it for food and other stuff. But it's real purpose was to be there in case I got to a point where I couldn't walk anymore.

I have arthritis in every single joint in my body. From my jaw and neck, all the way to my toes. Hips, ribs, spine, you name it, I got it.

As for the use of the word 'cripple' it DOES apply to me. Cripple refers to anyone with a physical disability. And due to my disability, I do have lower body involvement. Hips, knees, ankles, toes, etc. All of it.

As for being able to "move normally", I actually don't completely. I appear like I do, but if you look at the structure of my legs and the way I walk, I do move differently than a lot of people. I find that I tend to limp often, even when I'm not in pain. And I am curious as to if that's because I got so used to limping as a child due to pain that my walking pattern just adopted that, leading me to limp when I'm not in pain. I also sometimes walk as if I'm waddling.

Plus, if you notice, my right knee is actually slightly turned in, which means that somehow, it's out of alignment. Knees are supposed to point forward. My dad's point forward, my sister's point forward, my mom's mostly point forward. Both of mine do not, even though both of my ankles are straight. My left one is pretty straight, straight enough for me to not really notice it. But my right is a separate story.

Because my right knee is pointed slightly inward, I tend to walk with my right foot slightly turned out.

I'm not sure if the alignment is a knee issue, a hip issue, or potentially an ankle issue. This wasn't an issue that was ever pointed out by my doctors as a child, cause my knees have been like this for a while. I did have a lot of knee inflammation as a kid.

But back fully on topic, cripple punk isn't contingent on the use of mobility aids. Plus the assumption that I have to "look disabled" in order to be physically disabled is very ableist and leads to those like me getting harassed when we use our handicapped parking permits. I'm invisibly physically disabled, I have always recognized that. But me having an invisible disability doesn't change the fact that I am physically disabled. And come this time next year, I will probably "look disabled". Not that I believe disability has a look. It doesn't. Believing disability has a look is ableist and perpetuates harmful stereotypes. I AM physically disabled. I AM crippled, mobility aid or no mobility aid.

You don't know my history, you don't know me. You don't know my day to day life.

In order for you to believe me, you'd likely have to see my diagnosis papers and the proof of my disability. But you are not entitled to that information. I don't have to show it to you, and I'm not going to.

#physical disability #cpunk #cripplepunk #cripple punk #crip punk #physically disabled #physical disabilities

349 notes · View notes

absolutebl · 5 months

Note

hi there 🖐🏼 what are your recs for bl movies with great acting?

BL Movies with GREAT Acting

Specifically Movies? Do KBLs that were cut into movies count? Hum, I'm gonna make a judgement call given how few actual movies I have to work with and say if it holds as a "movie going experience" I can count it. I should say in order to really push this into the superlative acting space the BL aspect on many of these is... light.

His

Japan 2020 Viki

His is about being a grown adult and still struggling with coming out as gay. It addresses the consequences of life choices disingenuous to identity. Nagisa turns up on Shun’s doorstep with his precocious daughter in tow. This is a touch confusing to Shun since they were each others first love and ended badly. Shun has retreated from society, rejecting the world before it can reject him, already brokenhearted because without Nagisa he never had a reason to fight. Nagisa went the opposite way, tried to pretend to be something he was not and ended up with a daughter he adores and a wife who hates him. The acting is killer, Miyazawa Hio is sulky in the best possible way, the filming is beautiful and the setting unique and interesting...

I'm not wild about the ending. Moody arthouse smackdoodle is going to pretend that "ambiguous" is somehow unique and special rather than bog standard commonplace for narratives of this type. But endings are my hangup, not yours?

This is not really BL (the prequel was), so few of the tropes are used. You do not need to have watched the prequel.

Your Name Engraved Herein

Taiwan 2020 Netflix

This movie is fantastic but it is also seriously depressing. It’s a self acceptance journey that goes emotionally array on the alter of history, but if you wanna wallow in high quality acting and serious gay drama, this’ll do it. I would say it's not really BL, no real trope drops at all.

Okay those two I chose more on the strength of the acting than BL. These others are not going to be at the same standard/style.

If you want moee of the above level of drama, things get very sad in the BL world, so Love of Siam, Dew, Eternal Yesterday, Goodbye Mother, etc...

Restart After Come Back Home (Risutato wa tadaima no ato de)

Japan 2020 Gaga?

Atmospheric study in rural Japan meets complex family dynamics built on a romance framework of city boy meets country boy, grumpy/sunshine. It’s beautiful and icy sweet. Slow moving in places but ultimately worth the patience, low heat, low angst, and stunning. The acting is a touch stiff, in that Japanese reserved way.

This is the only BL movie, as a movie, that I could pull. There are others, I jsut don't think the acting is good enough.

So here are some highly rated short bingable series that are movie length (1.5-2.5 hours) but not really movies - BUT with killer acting. So they still might satisfy the itch. I places them in order of acting and filming quality, not my own personal preference.

From Japan

Old Fashion Cupcake

Tokyo in April is...

Life: Love on the Line (director's cut)

My Beautiful Man

I Cannot Reach You

Seven Days

From Taiwan

Red Balloon

We Best Love (esp part 2)

About Youth

HIStory 2: Crossing the Line

From Korea

To My Star

Long Time No See

The New Employee

Where Your Eyes Linger

More like this?

I want to shout out The Eighth Sense here too. It's longer than movie length but so well acted.

(source)

#asked and answered #BLs with great acting #movie bls #best bls #best of list #His the movie #Your Name Engraved Herein #Restart After Come Back Home #Old Fashion Cupcake

75 notes · View notes

bengiyo · 4 months

Note

5 moments from 2023 BL that felt new or different?

I feel so much pressure to do a good job with this one. You're an OG. You've been in this game longer than me. I'm pretty sure you've actually seen more than me.

La Pluie Episode 6

Sure, we've had a lot of sex in BL in recent years. What's special about La Pluie is its willingness to release the sexual tension and explore the emotional space on the other side of that. Tai and Phat actually started making out on the goddamned floor, we got a sneak peak of Saengtai's bulge, and we mentioned that he was still aroused while they were sitting on the couch later. They also talked about what was going on between them and some of Tai's hangups. Usually these shows love to interrupt these moments because they don't know what to do with the characters once they bone. Not this show!

Jong Chan Adapting to Seung Hyun in The New Employee

This wasn't my favorite show of the year, but my man Jon Chan is one of my favorites of the year! I like that he was solidly in his 30s and looking for a partner. I like that he didn't exactly understand all of Seung Hyun's hang-ups about the ex, but decided to let that go and focus on building their future. His exasperation about this felt distinctly gay.

Jim and Li Ming's Relationship in Moonlight Chicken

I like calling Moonlight Chicken a gay family drama more than a BL because I don't think romance is the central driving factor of the show, but it feels like splitting hairs. What is my favorite part of this show is that the only "I love you" said in the show is between Jim and Li Ming. I love that the relationship between a gay man and his gay nephew feels like the heart of the show.

Seo Lee Joon being a Terrible Gay in Love Mate

I know a lot of y'all got your knickers in a knot over the way Ha Ram determinedly pursued Lee Joon, but I feel like we ignored how fucking rude Lee Joon was in this show. This man goes on the apps to flirt with people without making it clear he's only going to date them once before abruptly cutting them off and blocking them. This is mean! We are fucking gay! We have a hookup culture with its own language! This thing where he wants the flavor of first dates and sets up his dates for extreme disappointment is so mean. He was going to make a whole dating app about how bitter he was about his own breakup. This man needed to face his own issues, and I'm glad a stern dicking turned him around.

The Sex Scene in Candy Color Paradox

This is a show that tried and failed to punch above its weight. The leads were too inexperienced to carry a kinda dense script, and they got blown out of the water by the talented Izuka Kenta for about three episodes. It's really unfortunate because I think Kimura Keito and Yamanaka Jyutaro put in real work in this show. Their bed scene was probably the most stylish of the entire year. It is worth watching just that scene because it really stands out. Also, they discuss m/m acts the morning after in a way that felt refreshing.

Ask me Top 5 BL 2023 Anything

#answered #best of bl 2023 #ameiro paradox #candy color paradox #love mate #la pluie #moonlight chicken #the new employee

54 notes · View notes

linddzz · 2 months

Note

Whooooo! I found ya! Down to business:

Are there any fic recommendations for baggin/shield or pitch/frost that you like(d)?

I am absolutely feral

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…..

What are 3 of your most favorite fics that you’ve ever read?

Ya found me! Let me say that the notifications of someone going through old fics and commenting are ambrosia. You are a treasure and a saint of a person!

And oh man I had to dive into my old bookmarks for these! I'm good at remembering snippets or vibes of fics but not the fics themselves. I will warn that a lot of my fave pitch/jack stuff tended to be pretty dark. It's not like, a thing I regret or say is wrong, and I still enjoy/love a lot of it! I was in a dark place mentally and that reflected in the stuff I was reading and creating. Who actually has a good time in their early to mid 20s?

Mostly warning because most of my stuff since then skirts the edges or flirts with the darkness but doesn't feel that need to go deep diving.

Second warning is there may be less here than you'd think! The more I write for a ship the less I read, because my brain gets very dumb and the self doubt gets Real Bad. This is all non-exhaustive of course! I wouldn't even say this is my Best of The Best it's just what's coming to mind at the moment. There's way more in the AO3 bookmarks

Pitch/Jack fics

In the Dark - series by @charmed7293 romancing the monster under the bed is maybe not always the best idea

The Syntax of Programming Languages, and, Why Some Code Talks in Accents - by Midievil. I'm biased here bc this was a gift fic inspired by my The Device Has Been Modified, but it done showed me up bc it was written by someone who knows more about actual coding than me

Shadows and Light - this series by @not-poignant is The Classic of the ship. Since you liked Things That Were you'd most definitely like this one. And unlike me, Pia actually finishes things!

I swear to God there were a lot of fics by @insufferablearchanist that I loved but they nuked their old AO3 and I can't ever remember shit.

Thorin/Bilbo fics

Prayers to Broken Stone - @avelera the beauty and the beast flavored au you didn't know you wanted

Comfort in the Sound - by northerntrash. Ok. Yes. It's Bilbo/Thorin/Bofur but like. Trust me on this. Road trip throuple shenanigans

Patchwork Robe - @hallsofstone2941 I am not immune to stupidly adorable modern college au one-shots

Possession - aljira. You liked Sanzigil, you'll like this :)

Marriage in the Manner of Dwarves - series by diemarysues

Other Fandom Faves (that come to mind. I've been reading fanfic since like 2002 ok there's a lot that has made impressions over the years that I just lost track of dkdjdk)

Taking Everyone For A Ride - by Nonymos. Venom/Eddy+Anne/Dan. typical Eldritch shenanigans plus polyamory. Unhinged and weird, just how I like em

The Only Way Out Is Down - @avelera Newt/Hermann. The second PR movie was so bad I wanna erase it from my memory but my god did it spawn some AMAZING fics, including this one that rewired my brain

After Zero - by what_alchemy Newt/Hermann. A bunch of delightful smut

The Wine Dark Sea - @moorishflower Dream/Hob. Siren! Dream au. Jesus Christ. Holy fuck. Goddamn. Gorgeous, monstrous, surreal, Unhinged4Unhinged behavior. Listen. I work with octopuses. I know what their arms feel like and that has ruined almost all tentacle shenanigans for me ok?? This fic got past that hangup.

If I Please You - @moorishflower Dream/Hob. It feels like a modern retelling of an old medieval fairy romance goddamn

And finally. This series. The series.

So. I very recently refound this series and I'm almost hesitant to post it. Because as I was reading it again I kept having to put it down and sit in horror at the realization that I read this fic when I was in college and it actually rewired my brain. I realized everything I have written was trying to recapture what this fic did to my synapses. I was chasing after vibes that I did not realize originated in this fic for me. Me sharing this risks everyone who reads it and has read my stuff also going "ooohhhh you're just doing this again huh?"

It is the very specific combination of "Character A: openly unhinged, obsessive, violently romantic and unnerving/Character B: seems so chill and just happily rolls with CharacterA being insane, because they are also secretly insane." It's the combo of a codependent bonkers relationship with humorous banality of their day-to-day.

It's also a Johnlock fic.

Anyway, The Paradox Series rewired my brain so deeply that I didn't even realize it rewired my brain until over a decade later. I swear I have been unaware of how much my writing has been leaning on what this did to my brain.

#fic recs #i cannot stress enough how non exhaustive this is dkfjdkdj #refound the paradox series like a month ago and kept having a fuckin crisis about it to my friends #like UH OH IVE JUST BEEN SNATCHING THIS FICS ENTIRE VIBE THE WHOLE TIME

35 notes · View notes

raayllum · 6 months

Note

Do you truly believe that Callum is the only best thing that's happened to Rayla?

I don't think Callum is the only good thing in Rayla's life, but I do absolutely agree with her sentiment that he's the best thing she's ever had / that's ever happened to her. This is for a few reasons (mostly only talking about arc 1 as that's the time she's referring to, but I'm also gonna be touching on S4/S5):

In Bloodmoon Huntress, the long time headcanon of post-s1-s3 fans that Rayla was a relatively friendless / lonely child was confirmed. This makes Callum and Ezran her first real friends, and while she's more likely to lean on Ezran for support (in arc 1 at least) initially than Callum is, Callum is still more so her peer (due to being similar ages) and is her first and main Best Friend. For that alone, I'd buy her statement.

Then there's the other ways Callum has changed her life. He is:

The person who inspired her to actively work towards breaking the cycle past the point of 1) believing it was right for Zym to return home and 2) to make up for her parents' perceived/failures mistakes, as seen most prominently in 2x07. This is something she is willing to die for, and while Rayla is (unfortunately) willing to die for many things, this is the cause she believes in and feels centred in: "Every fibre in my body is telling me that [leaving her] is wrong [...] It doesn't just feel like the right thing to do, it feels like the right thing for me to do. It's where I'm meant to be." ("Look at yourself, Rayla. Who are you? What do you stand for? Once you know that, you'll end up where you were always meant to be.") Someone giving you a much more positive worldview that aligns with your values and sense of rightness is certainly a big deal (and a positive one, particularly for someone who's struggled with hesitating over what feels right for so much of her life.

Callum is the first person in Rayla's life to love her wholly unconditionally. While Rayla is deeply loved by all four of her parents, and I've gone on record saying that Tiadrin and Lain didn't do anything wrong, arc 1 sees Rayla brush up against the lingering cultural hangups and choices that make her family's love for her feel if not outright be somewhat conditional. She is shunned by her village (condition 1), while Ethari says goodbye to her and embraces her he still turned his back on her (condition 2), Runaan was heavily disappointed in her betrayal of him/the mission and left her (condition 3), and her parents put their duty over her / being her parents (condition 4). Callum says fuck all that shit. He refuses to leave even when she's pushing him away. He loves and admires her for the exact things she's been punished or shamed for ("You have true courage and a big heart" -> "Even when her own people might misunderstand and turn against her"). He says she doesn't deserve to be Ghosted, she doesn't deserve to be unjustly turned away for a mistake she didn't even make, he says and shows that it's okay for her to be scared and that she can (and should) rely on him.

This is even more intrinsically tethered given Chasing Shadows and the canon fact that Callum and his love for her 1) kept her from throwing what little remained of her life away entirely and 2) literally kept her from forsaking her name/identity/everything else that makes her Rayla and 3) gave her the courage to try and come home to somewhere she'd be safe and loved, even if she knew/felt she didn't deserve to. There's an underlying belief in Chasing Shadows we see carry through into S4 where Rayla truly believes Callum can do and overcome just about anything, and if he can do the impossible, then maybe so can she:

She backed away, close to the pit’s edge. The crowd shouted and screamed at her ears, their spittle landing on her neck. It rattled her. The human kicked dirt at her, and Rayla scraped at her eyes, angry—infuriated, even. Humans were frustrating. Humans were clever. Humans could do anything, they could be anything, they could take their own fates and change them—

It is for all these reasons that Rayla clearly considers him to be her family and the love of her life. She gives him the pendant (from Ethari to Runaan, then Ethari to her, and then her to Callum) as a symbol of both familial and romantic love. He seems to be the first person she's had serious feelings for and certainly the first person she's fallen in love with.

She was originally going to confess first (2x09) back when she clearly didn't have any thought or inclination he'd ever love her back, either. Then he did, and it elevated an already very steady and safe relationship to one that was good natured, even more incredibly supportive, and wholly unconditional.

And given how he supports and loves her in S4 and S5, I am even more inclined to think she's Right <3

#rayllum #tdp rayla #pining!rayla #arc 1 #arc 2 #multi

60 notes · View notes

rise-my-angel · 5 months

Note

People say Kit is a bad actor? Do they know that isn't even his real accent?!

Its primarily book purists who take issue with the show adaptation of Jon Snow, and their hangups with the differences in versions of the character end up getting blamed on Kit.

He gets called a bad actor because he isn't playing the character exactly as the book states, when in reality that's not how adaptation works. Show Jon is a lot more quiet and stoic but it really works specifically because of Kit. He's not the sass machine that is book Jon but it didn't need to be.

Kit brings so much life and individuality to Jon Snow, but because he is playing a very stoic character his subtle acting gets over looked for others, and book purists blame him for character attributes that are the writers fault not his.

The only time I'd say he isn't really trying is season 7. Kit is practically asleep during season 7 but I do not blame him. His character was being primed as an intelligent, brave and valiant heroic King, and he is side lined very hard and written so out of character it seems Kit really struggled knowing what to do. Hes trying to play the Jon Snow he has developed but they're asking him to play a version of Jon that never existed before that season, and it shows the whole season he has no idea what direction he should be taking his character in. He finds a bit more stride in season 8 because hes used to being given such bad material at that point but season 7 Kit is just a walking meme because hes clearly so fucking fed up with how bad the script is and doesn't bother hiding it. He sends up playing into it like "Okay I'm 900% done with this bullshit and so is Jon so there's my motivation". Which is why we get so many fucking funny facial expressions from Jon that season because both the character and actor are trapped in the dumbest plot with the dumbest people.

Also speaking of the accent, if you want more proof hes really talented at acting, watch scenes of he and Benjen. Or a Jon scene then a Benjen scene. Because Jon and Benjen literally speak exactly the same, they both have the exact same speech mannerisms to really sell their familial relationship and that's not how either actor talks in real life. Its really impressive.

But yeah, since the show ended people sort of take their hangups with Jon's character assasination out on Kit Harington and it's really unfair. He stuck the show out until the end but a character that had been such a massive part of his life was being ruined before his eyes and that clearly took a lot of heart out if his performance and I don't blame him for that.

Because season 1 through 6, Kits acting is absolutely spectacular and severely underrated.

#game of thrones #a song of ice and fire #asoiaf #jon snow #kit harington

49 notes · View notes

al-astakbar · 8 months

Text

☆ The Gift -- Thrawn x reader ☆

> title ☆ The Gift ☆part 4/?

> summary ☆ As congratulations for his recent promotion to Grand Admiral, Emperor Palpatine gives Thrawn a gift -- a young woman who has been trained as a pleasure companion.

> pairing ☆ Thrawn x reader ☆ word count [3.2k] ☆ warnings for this part ☆ explicit PIV sex, dubious consent, very mild/brief anal fingering, orgasm self-denial, Thrawn is not nice yet, he's rough and efficient and horny... > series warnings ☆ dubious consent; sexual slavery; concubine/ sex slave AU; will add more warnings as more parts are posted

>series navigation ☆ part 1 ☆ part 2 ☆ part 3 ☆ part 4 ☆ part 5 ☆ part 6 ☆ part 7

> posted on ao3

author note!! To be very clear, in this story reader is a concubine against her will and is gifted to Thrawn, but there is at no point any noncon between Thrawn and reader. Reader is never noncon with anyone, either referenced or explicitly, and there is never any explicit noncon. However, this is a darker take on Thrawn and he doesn't really have many hangups about putting his gift to use...

“Is this how it’s going to be?” You ask as soon as the hatch shuts behind him. “You’re just going to lock me in here while you go to work?” You hadn’t meant to be accusatory but emotion slips through, makes your voice crack.

Right now, he appears to be in no mood to entertain your insolence.

“Undress,” he orders darkly. “Then bend over the desk and wait for me.”

You stare at him, frozen for a moment. Then, compelled by some facet of his power, you obey.

His tone leaves no room for defiance, and his expression is one of unmistakable lust, his glowing red eyes fixed on you. Your arms and legs feel heavy, your fingers clumsy trying to work the ties and clasps. Your hooded robe with the veil attached comes off and you drop it to the side. Then your simple undershift, and finally you toe off your thin slippers. Those, too, you had chosen to embellish during your vigil, though the practice was uncommon. If Thrawn notices now, he says nothing. Gingerly, cringing at the cold, hard stone, you place yourself over the desk, wanting to appease him with your obedience and ignore the low thrum of arousal he struck in you with a simple command.

Coming to stand in front of the desk where you can see him, he pulls each of his gloves off, tucks them in his belt. “Tell me what you were reading,” he says before circling around the desk, behind you.

It seems foolish to try to lie, so you don’t. You recount what you’ve learned about him, all the while trying to keep the apprehension out of your voice.

“I'm not upset,” Thrawn says. “You have every reason to be curious and you took advantage of the resource available to you.”

“Does that mean you’ll answer questions?” You ask, a little dryly.

“Perhaps. The biographies are often biased and incomplete.”

“So is any of it true?” You try to sound nonchalant. “Or is it all just bantha shit.”

“Most of the accounts of the battles are accurate. Such things are the most easily provable, though in such chaos, details are often lost or distorted, even from recent conflicts. As for the other claims, I only stand by my deeds. Others may draw their own conclusions.”

You hear the quiet rumpling of clothing and then, unmistakably, the rhythmic sound of flesh on flesh. You peek back over your shoulder. He’s tucked the hem of his tunic up in his belt, and is pumping himself in his hand rather lazily. You swallow hard seeing how big he is. He wasn’t lying— it is familiar, just thicker and longer than any human’s you’ve ever seen. And, fascinatingly, a deep bluish-purple.

His eyes roam over your naked body.

He reaches for your hip, not grabbing or pawing roughly, but an inquisitive touch, like that of a new lover. You wonder if he’s doing it on purpose— either to make you feel at ease or mock you. You wonder if he’s enjoying it. He lingers, and the pressure in the room seems to change.

His hand drops lower, skimming your skin, and your breath catches in your throat. Lower still, your thigh, inside, perhaps testing to see if you’ll clamp your legs together to deny him access.

You don’t.

You won’t.

His fingers find your center. His approach feels like one of curiosity, rather than passion. A real lover would be pleased to feel the slight wetness, the beginning of your arousal. Your new master says nothing. You twist to look at him again and see his hand still working his cock with no real hurry.

He appears completely unaffected. He could be wearing the same expression giving orders from the bridge of his ship. His glowing red eyes meet yours and the intensity holds you there, not permitting you to look away.

Then, a caress. A deliberate roll of his finger over your clit that spikes desire— real, pulsing desire— through your core.

“Don’t. Don’t try to make it nice for me.”

“As you wish.” And with no other warning, he notches the head of his cock at your entrance and pushes in. You gasp at the stinging pain and your arms give out, your breasts press against the cold surface of the desk and all you can do is rest your cheek flat and submit.

The stretch is merciless, and he is so large that he can’t fully enter in one stroke. He does not stop at the resistance, not at your sounds, not when you cringe away. Not when you clench around him, so tight he grunts and grips your ass harder, fingers digging in to bruise and he keeps going— stars, he’s huge— working his thick cock into you, unrelenting, until all you can feel is him.

He only puts a firm hand at the small of your back as if to say ‘I did warn you’.

You are full of him, so utterly stuffed you can’t move and the frigid room and uncomfortable desk are a distant afterthought. To your embarrassment, you feel your face heat, tears welling and running down your cheeks. Not from the pain, which has faded, given way to an aching fullness, but from everything else. From this sudden, overwhelming intimacy with a stranger. From the humiliation of being used by someone who doesn’t really even want you. And worst, from the undeniable reaction your body has to him.

He pauses for a moment, when his hips finally press fully against the round curve of your ass and he is as deep as he can go, stretching you past the point of discomfort. Your hips are pinned against the edge of the desk, there is nowhere to go.

“Crying already and I’ve barely started,” he observes, though there is no malice in his voice. “Perhaps next time you will consider my offer.” He leans close, pumping into you slowly and shallowly. “You know it need not be like this every time. There is no reason for you to be in pain other than your pride.”

You attempt a derisive snort at that but only manage to sound bratty. “Fuck you.”

He rolls his hips, seating himself somehow even deeper and you can’t help but gasp again.

“Every—- every time?” You fish for something, anything to say to distract yourself from reality.

“Surely you didn’t think it would be just one time? And I will have you here.” He reaches forward to tap your mouth. “And here.” With his hand gripping your ass he brushes a thumb over the tight pucker.

The touch makes you squirm in shock and embarrassment and oh, yes, an unhealthy measure of arousal that you steadfastly try to ignore. Impossible. He can tell, and over your shoulder, you see him lick his thumb, then do it again, this time massaging his wet thumb around your rim, with just the slightest bit of pressure, and it makes you quiver. With just a bit more, he circles, and presses the tip of his thumb inside. You squeal at the intrusion and clamp down on him, hard.

His movement stutters for a moment, then resumes. “You are a plaything,” he says, and you hear new warmth in his voice, amusement, maybe. “And I intend to enjoy you. I am confident you will come to enjoy my company as well.” He plunges into you again at just the right angle, the one that had made you clench around him before.

“There,” he whispers, his breath hot on your neck as he arches over you, and repeats the motion slowly, rolling his hips just so. It pulls insistently at the thread of your arousal.

“Don’t.. don’t do that.” You strain to keep the note of pleading out of your voice.

“This?” He does it again.

“Y- yes.” Your breath hitches. With his thumb still hooked in your ass, and his thick cock splitting you open, you can hardly think, let alone resist.

You will not enjoy this, you repeat to yourself. It takes all your willpower to insist to yourself that you don’t like him. Dimly, you cling to irritation at his overconfidence, to your fear, to humiliation. You may grudgingly submit, but you will never enjoy his company. You are mounted over a Grand Admiral’s desk and he is using you as a toy, a convenient hole to fuck, and you should hate it.

Should.

“I see that you will require some additional training,” he murmurs. His accent has grown a little stronger, his movements a little more urgent. “To be of use to me.”

He braces himself with one hand flat on the desk, right next to your face. He rides you fast and hard now, forcing your cunt wide around him with every thrust. You shove away your arousal each time it rises, grasping at the edge of the desk and once, briefly, at his blue hand next to your head— which you release very quickly. You will not give him the satisfaction.

It swells in you, though, an insistent, pulsing heat, much too big to ignore, and makes you tight and slick around his cock, makes you pant and moan, makes you sob with undisguised need when he holds you down with a firm hand that nearly spans the width of your back so he can pound you mercilessly.

He loses none of his efficiency and control. Nothing rough, not like you had feared, but he makes it very clear that he owns you. He owns your cunt, your mouth, your ass, and he will, eventually, own your pleasure too.

He is quiet when he comes. Only a soft grunt. His movement jerks and stalls, and you feel a distinct pulsing within you. His cock seems to grow even larger, overfilling you as he pumps his cum into you. So much of it. It’s leaking out, dripping down your thighs even before he pulls away.

Wetness gushes from you when he withdraws. In the cold it runs sticky and sluggish down your legs.

You stay there, cheek flat on the desk, as your breath slowly comes back to you. When you move to stand up, he pushes you back down again.

“We’re not done.”

Before you can process what this means, he’s positioning his cock at your slick, open hole. Thrusts in all the way, so deep and hard the movement shoves you up the desk and forces more of his cum out of you with an obscene sound.

“Fuck!” You gasp in surprise. The sudden feeling of being stuffed and stretched doesn’t hurt now, though your nerves are raw. Oversensitized and keen to every little touch.

Thrawn seems to observe this. He presses in deeper, as deep as he can, and grinds his hips against yours. It makes his thick cock inside you hit just there, kindling again that slow, deep, relentless pleasure that makes you tremble.

Still, you resist it. You had agreed to his plan. His reasoning was sound. But this is a perversion and you owe him nothing more.

Thrawn leans down, his face close to yours. He brushes a strand of hair off your face. He continues rolling his hips, leisurely and measured. You get the feeling he’s studying you, and studying the effect he’s having on your willpower. “No?” His voice is like cool silk.

One small change of angle and he draws a helpless, broken moan from you.

“Fuck…” You can’t quite manage the ‘you’ part of it, but he catches your meaning.

“Very well.” He straightens up, resettles himself. One hand on your waist, the other gripping your ass. He pulls out, drives back in. Again, faster. He does not hold back this time, setting a brutal pace.

You feel almost distant from yourself somehow. You can hear yourself panting. The undeniable swell of need that rises in your core does not feel like it belongs to you. Split open on his cock, you feel yourself clench tightly around him, involuntary, and at that Thrawn gives a strangled growl. He lets himself drop to his forearm, bracketing you on one side. His other hand finds the bend of your hip, and he pulls you to meet each of his thrusts. He is flush against your back, his breath ragged and hot against your neck, balls smacking heavily as he hammers into you.

“Thrawn—“ you give an incoherent, needy moan. The sound he makes in answer very nearly sends you over the edge. Later, when he is gone, you will play it over in your head, the visceral memory reawakening the pulsing ache between your legs. “Thrawn, please—“ if he doesn’t stop, you’re going to—

The tension held in his body pulls tight and snaps, his hips stutter and he cums, his cock flexing and pulsing as he fills you a second time.

You hold yourself still through it, for worry you would follow him. It’s a relief, in its own way, not to give him the satisfaction.

He rests his head on your back, between your shoulder blades. He takes slower, large gulps of breath. He stays like this barely a few seconds before removing himself. You stay long enough to feel the cold again, and your breasts pressed naked against the cold hard stone of his desk.

Empty and aching, you lever yourself up and turn to face him. You resist the urge to cover yourself with your hands, as ineffective as that would be. He is already standing tall, uniform impeccable, looking no different than he had before he had bent you over his desk, except for one errant strand of hair. It gives him a rakish appearance, falling from the crown of his widow's peak.

He has made a mess of you. Your hair is mussed and tangled, your robe and veil in a crumpled pile on the floor, and his spend drying on your legs. Some of it ends up in a puddle at your feet.

Thrawn takes in this sight. “One moment. Stay.” He comes back with a cloth and cleans you up, wipes between your legs, your feet and then the floor.

You want to reject this. You don’t need tenderness or concern from him.

“You have been entrusted to my care,” he speaks, as if answering your thoughts. “I am responsible for your health, your well-being, and your safety.”

You shoot him a suspicious glare. Surely he knows how ridiculous that statement sounds given what just happened on his desk.

He picks up your clothes, smoothes them out and folds them neatly. “You should take more care of these. They are finely made.”

You almost work up the nerve to ask him if you could have an embroidery kit.

He proffers his arm to assist you, and you shove it away at first only to find your legs wobbly. He doesn’t offer again, but simply hoists you over his shoulder as if you weigh nothing at all and carries you through a side hatch, down a short passageway. His metal plate epaulets are cold and dig uncomfortably into your skin.

It is so undignified, you can’t even bring yourself to demand that he put you down. At the end of the passageway, through a second hatch, leads to what is apparently his sleeping cabin. It looks unused. The bed is perfectly made, and there is not a personal item in sight. You don’t have long to look before he brings you into the refresher. It’s not as cramped as you would expect for being aboard a ship, but then again, these are the quarters of a Grand Admiral.

“I have to pee,” you announce, as soon as he sets you down.

Thrawn does not move.

“You’re just gonna stand there and watch?” You snipe.

He raises a blue-black eyebrow. “Can you be trusted alone?”

So you sit, and wait, and have to will yourself to let go and the bastard just stands there with his arms crossed.

“The least you could do is politely look at the ceiling,” you say.

He doesn’t look away. When you’re done, he herds you into the shower with a quiet warning— “real water”— and pushes the button. You jump as it hits your skin, too cold for a few seconds. He watches you clean yourself, too, and you wonder how he would react if you splashed him. You resolve to try it the next time he insists on watching you shower.

“We lived right next to the Imperial Palace and we only got real water once a week,” you say, your thoughts distant. You don’t really expect him to respond, or have much to say to you at all. He said it himself, he has little use for you. For however long you’re with him, you can expect to be lonely. “The rest of the time it was sonics. We used to make bets about which one of us would get stuck with one of you and still not get real water.”

But he surprises you. “It is rationed aboard the ship,” he offers. “Mostly for drinking. This is one of the few quarters that has it available for washing.” You do not miss his gaze roaming over your naked form as you rub lather over yourself. If he weren’t here you would be tempted to seek the release you had denied yourself and him earlier.

Once you are clean and the soap rinsed off, he presses the button again, and towels you dry himself despite your protests that you don’t need help.

As he does, he speaks. “Tomorrow, you will make yourself ready for me. And you will fold your clothes neatly. I do not like untidiness in my quarters. Are my expectations clear?”

“‘Make myself ready?” You say back to him. You know exactly what he means, but it feels unfair that he should get to dodge saying it.

“Masturbate,” he replies, composure unwavering, though there is an edge to his voice. “Since you don’t want me to… touch you there. Get yourself nice and wet for me. I suggest at least two fingers. You seemed to struggle with my size.”

You swallow hard, and perceptive as he is, he does not miss your reaction. You can only wonder what he makes of it. How much he felt…

“One last thing. Tonight I was lenient. From tomorrow, I will administer discipline.”

He lets that hang ominously between you for a moment. You have, at least, the good sense not to ask exactly what he means by it.Then he brings you back into the bedroom and tells you that he has work to do. He orders dinner. You eat methodically, barely tasting it, and he eats nothing. Every time you interrupt him, though most of your questions are inane and just an excuse to get him to look up from his datapad, he answers calmly and patiently. Never dismissive. Though, you think you do get an eye twitch when you ask him why he’s blue. When you go to bed-- his bed-- he does not join you, instead he sits in an armchair in the corner of the room. He stays there long after you turn off the light, his glowing eyes and the dim datapad screen an unsettling reminder of his presence as you drift off to sleep.

☆ link to part 5 ☆

☆join tag list☆ <- this is the easiest way to make sure your request is recorded, however anyone is also welcome to dm me if they want to be added.

@thrawns-babygirl @vibratingbonesbis @thrawns-teef-weef @aethersecho @exoplorationn @elc3004 @littlecrowtime @twilekchiss @saber-slutt @projectdreamwalker @ele-millennial-weirdo @hakones @shoe-bag @thrawnspetgoose @nomercyforthewarrior @pb-jellybeans @twincesskorisoka @jewelliffer @cecilyjmorgenstern @mandinlore @bobaprint @bluechiss

#thrawn #grand admiral thrawn #thrawn fanfic #thrawn fic #thrawn x reader #thrawn x you #thrawn x y/n #star wars #thrawn fanfiction

107 notes · View notes

naranjapetrificada · 7 months

Text

Fic recs based on what bits of s2 promotion made you go 👀

So obviously we only have a couple days left and I shouldn't have put this off for so long, but I've been making connections between fics I've encountered and questions raised by the teaser, trailer, and BTS video and thought I'd share some of them. Light (extremely light, like you've just emerged from an isolated cave light) s2 spoilers possible, although it's still mostly speculation?

Anyway this obviously got very long, so I'm throwing in a break now so I don't slow your scroll.

Maybe time in nature helps Ed do some healing?

Fallow Land & Bigger Sky, which I can't ever seem to shut up about was such a rewarding and healing read for me. Especially recommended for people who are interested in Ed's inner life, healing journey, and coping mechanisms, maladaptive or otherwise. Also folks who are excited for him to have an animal friend like Stede Bunnet, although in this fic it's a sweet little black lamb that he sometimes carries around in his shirt.

It begins with Ed having spent a year since The Dock living incognito on a remote (but not deserted!) island trying to get his head around everything that happened and looking for something like peace, however he can get it. It's written in an evocative, poetic way and includes some incredibly lovely flashbacks, believable character growth, important realizations, and tender emotional moments. The vibes are more pastoral than castaway, but Ed is still given time and space to do the work he needs to do in rugged, isolated surroundings so it still scratches that itch for me.

[There are definitely some triggers to be aware of but it feels like the author did a good job of mentioning them at the beginning of each chapter.]

Maybe they do some healing together?

There's no need to reinvent the wheel so I'm going to borrow heavily from an earlier post I made about healing and fanfic two make the case for these two:

Brace Yourself and Nestle into Me: The premise is that Ed and Stede figure out that they're into each other around episode 7, and they're deliriously happy to know that they feel the same way about each other. But Stede has some (understandable) sexual dysfunction around being queer thanks to the horrible society that he grew up in. Ed is a darling trying to help him through it all, and along the way he realizes he also has some of his own hangups he needs to work through, and that they can both support each other's healing.

I appreciate that this one doesn't treat healing like a straight line because it never is, and emphasizes that trust can't just be implicit, you really have to talk it through as a crew, even if it's just a crew of two broken middle-aged men who are desperately in love with each other. It also gets into some of the stuff I've been talking about on here about grieving your former selves and the selves you never got to be, which was validating as hell. That sounds heavy and there are concepts that are literally part of modern therapy modalities woven into the story, but there are also warm and loving and hilarious moments too, including this gem:

“Also can you just imagine how proud little horny baby gay Stede would be know you would be to know that whatever he went through, today you’ve got your own ship and are getting completely railed by Blackbeard? I mean, just absolutely dicked down by the most famous pirate in history? He would lose his mind.”

Adrift Between the Dreaming Seas: Based on my usual filtering on ao3 I probably never, ever would have come across this fic if it weren't for a recommendation someone posted here. It's got fantasy elements, allegory, metaphors stacked on metaphors, talking animals, and so many other things that would have kept me from ever discovering it on my own. My life would be poorer for it.

Basically Stede is cursed to be a lighthouse keeper on an island that seems to move around the world. Animals show up and the ones who talk to him are members of the crew, and Ed is an actual kraken. It's all this symbolism about monstrosity and trauma and maladaptive coping and the messiness that is Stede's kindness scraping against his self loathing. I shed tears of many kinds along the way, and it made me think hard about community and recovery and the things we do to and for ourselves and others.

It's just a lovely little gem of a story that made me feel so much so deeply while also making me laugh much more than I was anticipating. I'm so glad I gave it a chance.

Maybe there's a massive, life-altering storm?

A World of Tempestuous Things, which is nearly finished and has been such a rewarding, moving journey to follow as it explores another take on their reunion story. There's the expected angst and misunderstandings, but also wit and warmth and longing and rage and these casually devastating historical asides, some of which still haunt me out of the blue because of the staggering and inescapable nature of the passage of time. Speaking of passages and being haunted, dig if you will, this picture:

so little time to dwell amongst strangers as a citizen of the world will never, ever stop reverberating in my head like a cymbal crash and I guess that's just something I live with now. @lostakasha, you've given me the existentially beautiful prose version of tinnitus.

Maybe Stede's slut party era is finally upon us?

If so, good for him, he deserves it so much.

When the Light Shines In is a missing scene/lightly canon-divergent take on s1e06, if you just like the idea of meeting a jolly version of Drunk Stede (vs that "unhand me or bleed" guy, who is hot in his own way or course but can't beat messy earnest bossy Stede in my opinion). It's set immediately after the fight with Izzy. Ed is patching him up and trying not to vibrate out of his own skin, while Stede is affectionate and chatty and besotted whether he knows it or not, and steadily working his way through a bottle of rum for the pain. So not really related to season 2, but it will still scratch that same itch and make you smile real big.

Well, I Ain't Tactful is actually set during season 2, inspired by the moment in the BTS video where Ed sees Stede getting drunk with his new leather buddies. If you asked yourself what might happen if Ed felt compelled to keep an eye on Sloppy Stede and tuck him in with a glass of water, then this one will be fun. Ed is caring and lovely about it all even while still being a bit mad at him for everything, and Stede is a mess but so sweet and still so, so in love.

Maybe we'll get to see young Ed on Hornigold's ship?

There's no evidence of that so far beyond the whole ghost of Hornigold thing, but it certainly would be a treat. But even if it doesn't, if the idea of more young Ed appeals I cannot possibly recommend the pre-canon Never Shall We Die enough.

Now there's no getting around two crucial things that may be dealbreakers for some people: first, it's long. It's very, very long. Second: it's a WIP. Only one of two I've allowed myself to follow in this fandom so I don't get overwhelmed or bogged down. But!

The writing is so impeccable that it stands head and shoulders above almost everything I've ever read on ao3 and honestly above a lot of commercially published original fiction I've encountered in the same span of time since I've started it. The settings are deliciously (and sometimes, due to the realities of life on a pirate ship, disgustingly) immersive, the action scenes are perfectly paced, and the emotional beats, when they hit, hit hard and ring true and stay with you.

Starting at at age 13, young Ed's growth and development over time is equal parts rewarding and harrowing. Threads are pulled together from canon and from earlier parts of the story to coalesce into a portrait of a living, breathing version of our favorite guy trying to find his place in the world, stumbling along the way, and eventually realizing that if he wants a place he'll have to make it himself. The secondary characters leap off the proverbial page too, and the connections he does or doesn't form with them have interesting, believable fallout for everyone involved.

I mentioned action scenes earlier, but I want to circle back around to them again because NSWD takes Izzy's season 1 comment about Blackbeard being the greatest sailor he's ever known and says the same with its whole chest. I know I'm not alone in hoping to see Incredible Sailor Ed in season 2, but in the mean time this is more than scratching that itch for me. We see Ed set foot on his first ship with no skills beyond attracting (mostly) unwelcome attention and observational skills that become the foundation of his later abilities with the sea and with the art of fuckery. From the outside he looks like a savant but on the inside he builds his skills slowly over time, delighting in learning new things and seeing a plan come together. But best of all, he delights in the skills of others, eagerly learns from them when he can, happily teaches what he can to the few people he trusts, and takes pleasure and pride in their own success.

I could literally keep talking about this fic until the next chapter gets posted, but the good news is that happens regularly! I know it can be tough to trust a WIP but I for one am so thankful for the moment of poor impulse control that led to me starting this one. New chapters come roughly every two weeks, and looking at @tresdem's output elsewhere helps me feel secure that we'll actually get to the end.

40 notes · View notes