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#my love for him. unreal. undescribable
kekoma · 4 months ago
— 𝐥𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫.
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❝do it. for me. it’s all I will ever ask from you.❞ | kyōtani want his last memory to be of you. specially the first dance he ever saw by you. 
word count : 1,490
contains/genre : nothing inappropriate. sfw. angst.
note : this concept has been rattling in my mind for awhile so i decided to write about it and share. a little iffy and may make another part to this to add on, but i hope it’s still enjoyable.
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soft saintly melodies disturbed the immense opening of kyōtani’s living quarters while the spent sun illuminated it from the window wall that displayed the city. your eyes taking in how the balmy glow painted the city in a sense it felt unreal. as much as you had lived here, watching the sunset whenever you took the time out to, viewing it now from such an high up angle made it feel completely different. almost foreign yet a good one.
placing a hand on the window, you released a sigh of breath you hadn’t realize you were holding in; “adorable.” the voice of your lover disconnected you attention from the scene and towards kyōtani as he swished his freshly poured drink in his hand while watching you intently, “hmm? what’s adorable?” 
“well you of course. there’s no other doe here besides you, bambi.” the pet name erupted an undescribable tingle, overlaying your skin in goosebumps, “I haven’t done anything worthy to be called adorable.” you refuted and in return, he mustered out a chuckle before taking a sip of the dark liquid in the glass. 
“no matter how many times you come here and watch the view, those expressions of yours are adorable. sometimes I think you do it on purpose in hopes that I’ll react, but then it hits me. those are genuine. you don’t even notice you do it which makes everything cuter than before.” kyōtani shifted his gaze to the window before finishing his drink in one gulp. a small hiss following suit to his actions as his legs guided himself to the black leather couch while gesturing you to sit besides him. of course you followed through, close to one another that his thighs pressed your owns.
the scent of warm cinnamon, blood mandarin, mint citrus with a dash of grapefruit entwine masculine leather and Indian patchouli had tickled your nose. there was a faint underscore of his nature pheromones that never failed to enrapture you every time. if it had been possible, you would have wrapped— hell! even engrave his scent onto you since it had become something you could never get tired of smelling. as the aroma left you to wallow, kyōtani took his chance to free you from it’s hold before it was too late, “do you recall when we first met y/n?”
a sudden and strange question. you weren’t quick to answer him, rather you studied his mannerism to see if anything had been off yet nothing unveiled what you had been looking for, “do i recall our first time meeting?” you repeated dumbfounded and in return, he let out a hum instead of verbally replying.
“yeah I do. why do you ask? did you forget or perhaps,” eyes peering into his distant ridden eyes, “you plan on testing me.” 
“neither. I just wanted to hear it from your point of view. is it a crime for me to ask that from you, my little doe?” 
“no... it isn’t but that can’t be the only reason.”
“it is. now please y/n... tell me your point of view.”
although his tone had seemed somewhat frolicsome, something had been eating away at him and knowing kentarō— he wouldn’t tell you what it was even if you pointed a gun to his temple and threaten him. it was something you had gotten use to overtime, nevertheless, it still irked you to know he wouldn’t expose what had been going through his mind until ken deemed it was time.
with a small sigh, you indulged in your lover’s request— recalling that summer’s day as if it had happened just yesterday. how you were so caught up with keeping up with the melody and ensuring you landed on each beat on time, that you hadn’t noticed his presence until everything came to an halt and he spoke: “it must be my lucky day to watch a little doe like you. captivating. truly it is.”
at the time, kyōtani carried an air around him that screamed ‘peril’. skin concealed by bandages, hair slicked back with two small strands accenting his forehead to keep it from being completely bare, his posture wasn’t good as he presented himself with a slight slouch and hands in his pockets, and his eyes... those orbs of his had seemed almost lifeless yet held secrets to them while he face had even followed suit. normally you wouldn’t enlighten a stranger with your company, choosing to avoid them at all cost— that day was different for some reason.
you remembered poking at him about how long he had been there and if he used that line on every girl he meet, yet to your incredulity, he explained that it wasn’t. kyōtani expressed that he had only entered in the middle of the performance, that something about the way you moved made him forget all about his need to smoke or even leaving to give you privacy. it was his first time seeing such a display up close, soon asking if you would be willing to give him more performances like that in the near future.
of course his approach had sounded like setup to something unspeakable, making you turn it down yet kentarō wouldn’t allow such a masterpiece slip from his grasp. that’s when you noted your true feelings and thoughts to his atypical advances. everything was fishy, but how you two ended up together was due to his persistence and later telling you it was love at first which is why he never gave up on you.
a strange story to reminisce about yet without a word or sound— rough hands gently cupped your cheeks and turned you towards kyōtani; “you know, I’ll love you no matter what, right? whether we’re close like now or so far from each other that it hurts... I’ll always love you.”
“of course... and you know that I love you too. I always will.”
kyōtani leaned in to plant a honeyed kiss on your lips. as much as you wanted it to turn into something more, he denied your advances by pulling away with a smile, “do you remember that same dance?” he asked, large hands engulfing yours and bringing them up to leave little kisses on them, “I-I do... why?”
“then perform it again. dance your heart your heart away. do it for me. it’s all I will ever ask from you.” his kisses on your flesh become more frequent, as if the action itself would convince you and it somehow it did. without much thought, you stood up with a smile, “if it’s what you desire then I’ll give it to you. although,” you removed your hands from his— cupping his face, “you’ll have to repay me. it’s been a few years since we first met and that dance alone is somewhat hazy to me.”
kyōtani flashed a tiny smile back before snickering, “thank you... my lilliputian dancer. I’ll never forget this.” as the last word left his lips, he slide from your touch to pay his attention to searching his phone for the song that played. 
you, on the other hand, had prepared yourself a few feet away from the couch. the room had been quite vastly after all so there was no need to move anything out of your way or ensure you wouldn’t break anything. it hadn’t taken the blonde to find the song, with it’s soothing melodies taking over and reminding your body of the moves from so long ago— kyōtani found himself in dazed with how fluent it looked. had you not told him about it being hazy to you then he would have assumed you learned it recently. with how you never missed a step, everything fell into place naturally.
lucky for him, he noticed how concentrated you were— leaving him to wallow in the emotions he kept hidden. a singular tear caressed his cheek as his facial feature expressed tenderness yet a hint of melancholy traced over:
“y/n... my little doe and dancer... I can only hope that you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me. I’ve broken a rule to be with you and if time had been reset, I’ll do it again. however... I fear your safety may be ruined for my selfish actions to love you. may this moment be cherish with devotion since it’ll be our last.” he thought to himself— images of your relationship unfolding in his mind while watching sharply, kyōtani never had any intentions of leaving you, but for a man with blood on his hands... the yakuza came first and his selfish desires to be loved and to love would end with your blood on his hand too. 
perhaps... in another timeline, you two would be happy together without the fear of you being found out. the fear of losing the first and only person kyōtani deemed his first love and made him believe love at first sight had truly existed.
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