#my life is getting so much worse

[brother-emperors]

ANTONY cry 'havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war

earlier in my script (which is not Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar), Antony refers to Dolabella as one of his ‘dogs of war’ when talking to Cassius (which IS a reference to Shakespeare’s JC), and it comes back around after Cicero writes to Cassius and informs him of Trebonius’ fate

While these things were taking place at Rome, Cassius and Brutus were collecting troops and money, and Trebonius, governor of the province of Asia, was fortifying his towns for them. [...] Trebonius, who was captured in bed, told his captors to lead the way to Dolabella, saying that he was willing to follow them. One of the centurions answered him facetiously, "Go where you please, but you must leave your head behind here, for we are ordered to bring your head, not yourself." With these words the centurion immediately cut off his head, and early in the morning Dolabella ordered it to be displayed on the praetor's chair where Trebonius was accustomed to transact public business. Since Trebonius had participated in the murder of Caesar by detaining Antony in conversation at the door of the Senate-house while the others killed him, the soldiers and camp-followers fell upon the rest of his body with fury and treated it with every kind of indignity. They rolled his head from one to another in sport along the city pavements like a ball till it was completely crushed. This was the first of the murderers who received the meed of his crime, and thus vengeance overtook him.

App. Civil Wars III. 26

For Dolabella is in Syria, and, as you have foreseen in your prophetic soul and have foretold, Cassius will crush him while they are on their way. For Dolabella has had the gates of Antioch shut in his face and got a good beating in trying to storm it. Not trusting in any other city, he has betaken himself to Laodicea, on the sea-coast of Syria. There I hope he will speedily pay the penalty of his crime: for he has no place of refuge, nor will he much longer be able there to stand out against an army as large as that of Cassius. I even hope that Dolabella has by this time been overpowered and crushed.

Cic. Fam. 12.14

Place then before your eyes, O conscript fathers, that spectacle, miserable indeed, and tearful, but still indispensable to rouse your minds properly: the nocturnal attack upon the most beautiful city in Asia; the irruption of armed men into Trebonius’s house, when that unhappy man saw the swords of the robbers before he heard what was the matter; the entrance of Dolabella, raging,—his ill-omened voice, and infamous countenance,—the chains, the scourges, the rack, the armourer who was both torturer and executioner; all which they say that the unhappy Trebonius endured with great fortitude. A great praise, and in my opinion indeed the greatest of all, for it is the part of a wise man to resolve beforehand that whatever can happen to a brave man is to be endured with patience if it should happen.

Cicero, Philippic 11

Philippi and Perusia, Ronald Syme

ko-fi⭐ bsky ⭐ pixiv ⭐ pillowfort ⭐ cohost ⭐ cara.app

#the actual line cassius has here is 'tell mark antony im going to kill his fucking dog' but it doesn't work without the context #of antony earlier calling dolabella one of his dogs. so. i have edited it slightly to provide that context #this is also the one thing that cassius doesn't forgive brutus for because it's brutus who wanted antony left alive #and the dots are simply that if antony was dead then trebonius would not be #brutus can get away with everything else in the name of love. but not that one #(i'll do anything for love but i wont do that etc) #you might say. hey. it doesn't seem like you like brutcass very much. incorrect! i love it a lot! i just want to make them worse #also one of the most romantic scenes ive ever watched in my life in a show was a breakup scene and ive been chasing that high #ever since. but mostly i think theres a tragedy to brutus’ decision making and there should be narrative consequences #roman republic tag #komiks tag #drawing tag #gaius cassius longinus #marcus junius brutus #gore cw #In appian’s text. it’s pretty gnarly tbh

[ganondoodle]

tumblr too will sell all user data to A/I fuckers. the toggle is apparently just to tell the techbros i dont want it, they "believe" they will "honor" that, like techbros ever honored anything but money.

sharing my art and connecting with people has been, literally, whats kept me alive through my darkest days.

i do not want it stolen, mangled and used to generate more money for people that already have more money than god.

creative labors of love that we share with people for free, to connect with people, to find joy in art and to bring joy to others, only for it to be ripped from you against your will, stolen, mangled, twisted into an algorythm just so some disgustingly rich guys gain more money.

and you lagerly cant do anything against it, the things you have ever posted anywhere, be it written or drawn, already taken without your consent.

it makes me feel ill.

right now, im questioning my will to be an artist.

to live.

#ganondoodles talks #personal #mostly copied over from my twitter #i know i know you cant give up fighting blah blah #i am so tired #i am so tired of trying to force myself to keep up hope for a better world while everything progessively gets worse and worse #i have wasted my life honing a skill that i am unable to share the results of #bc of greedy ghouls wanting to destroy the world just to have more currency that ultimately is nothing but a made up lie #it is late- i am tired- not feeling well- it all may heighten the feelings of hopelessnes #but given the state of the world #i dont know how much all that really has influence on my mood #how much deeper is there to sink? there has to be a bottom and i think we have reached it

[orchid-n-petals]

So I've already shared parts of this on a discord server, but I have to scream about Ketheric Thorm on here as well. Obviously spoilers about the character under the cut! It's a long one.

The entirety of act 2 is about him, right? Jaheira, Shadowheart and numerous other NPCs shit on him for his fickle faith. First Selune, then Shar, then, as we meet him, Myrkul. You hear about his changes of faith on a whim, you hear that he's the person responsible for the shadow curse, he is painted as a villain, plain and simple.

You can figure it out pretty early on that Isobel was resurrected and that she is his daughter; the detail as well that he wants Isobel alive is so on the nose, it gives him away completely but there are still a few questions that remain unanswered, mainly about his faith.

And then you get to the mausoleum and the picture assembles; this entire tragedy, the death of hundreds if not thousands and the complete ruination of a landscape was all, ALL because you had this absolutely wrenched, heartbroken father who had lost everything and nobody answered his grief. He was left woefully alone, the Goddess whose daughter his daughter was involved with did nothing to save Isobel.

Imagine outliving your wife and your daughter. Imagine dedicating your life to fight the Lady of Loss, your Lady of Silver's enemy, and then be left so completely alone and in silence with your grief, with your loss. It's so, so poetic how and why he turned from Selune, and it's so understandable as well; he broke. His spirit completely broke. He couldn't deal with that void of having lost the only two important people in his life, seemingly undeservedly so. He was going mad with this and a lot of his ire was likely targeted at Aylin who, in his eye, represented Selune; she's literally her daughter, after all, and it was implied that even before the deaths of his family, he sort of saw Aylin courting Isobel as Selune taking his daughter from him, despite his service. This relationship was clearly not seen by him as a boon of "giving his daughter to the Moon-maiden".

His ways in the past clearly didn't spare him from tragedy and having to cope with it (which he clearly didn't, he snapped under the weight of his grief). He was clearly angry and unable to do anything, furious and helpless, which is a dangerous combination. A good part of his first change of heart must have been fuelled by a sense of revenge.

But then Shar didn't provide any balm to his aching heart either. If you read his letters in Grymforge and in act 2, he is so focused on enacting the will of Shar because he believes that healing lies in oblivion. Everything would be easier if he could just forget, if the damn world could just forget, if nothing was remembered because without Melodia and Isobel, nothing was worth remembering.

Then came Myrkul. Literally the only god who was not only able, but WILLING to give back his daughter to him. Imagine spending your all, EVERYTHING you have to serve two gods who would not give a single shit about the greatest suffering in your life. You were basically nothing, your loyalty didn't matter for shit, everything that was taken from you amounted to no recognition whatsoever: you should simply cope and seethe. Your grief will not simply go unanswered (which is not inherently antagonising) but ignored.

And then comes this supposedly evil entity who can alleviate your pain just like that, snap of a finger and it's a done deal.

I am so serious when I say that I believe Ketheric's main incentive was to extend Aylin's immortality to Isobel as well. You can read in her diary that she feels a taint after having came back, and there are things not even Selune can cleanse, but at this point, Ketheric doesn't care about Selune, vengeance is secondary if not tertiary, he's done that war during his Shar years and what did it give him? Literally nothing.

He doesn't even care about the fact that Isobel is still her cleric. He cares about the single most important fact: Isobel is back. Life is worth living again, there is something for him, and it was not Selune or Shar who gave it to him but Myrkul, and for this singular gift, he would raze the world for the Lord of Bones. Like people can clown on him for being disloyal but the man has the loyalty of a dog bonded to its owner.

He is powerful and is willing to go to insane lengths for crumbs. What is raising a single life for a god? Nothing. It has happened and it will happen again. But Ketheric will go to the ends of the earth to serve the single god who actually listened to him. The one god who didn't ignore him.

He knows that what he does is not the morally upright thing! He is so insanely self-aware that allying with Orin and Gortash and doing this entire plot with them only to then betray them is morally reprehensible at the best of times, he knows that people hate him, etc-etc. He was a Selunite at one point and he's not stupid. He just doesn't care; it could be literal Asmodeus and he wouldn't care as long as he got what he wanted, no matter the price.

He is probably the only one from the three of the chosen who has complete clarity over his situation, he almost sways (if you pass the check during his confrontation), he is not an inherently evil man blinded by power.

But he is inherently loyal to those deserving, and as of the story's standing, completely broken by his grief. In his eyes, at this point, the only one deserving loyalty is the one who actually listened to him. Isobel lives. It doesn't matter that she hates him, that his entire life has fallen apart, that literally nothing else that is good has come of it, because Isobel lives.

I don't think he regrets a single thing. His consciousness might tear at him at the end, but I believe he would do everything over again, exactly as he did, because in the end, his daughter was brought back. Because what would a grieving, broken parent give to bring back their child? Everything. Absolutely everything. And it's such a simply given answer, no second thoughts, no doubts.

Nobody can tell me that this man is fickle. Nobody. This man was willing to burn the world to the ground, create a Boudica destruction layer all by himself for the one single thing he wanted. For any God that would listen.

I don't know, I just have a lot of thoughts about his character.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #ketheric thorm #and I also have a lot of thoughts of how Aylin foils him #I fully believe that he was in the right in the capacity that he switched around his gods when he was literally ignored despite his life's #work. despite all that he has given. I think it's reasonable to expect in the world of gods who actively meddle in mortal affairs on their #whims and make shit worse that in just one single case they would. idk. NOT expect one of their devotees to remain blindly loyal to them #after their prayers go unanswered. like yes; go and try your luck elsewhere because this devotion of yours is clearly being taken for #granted. you get NOTHING out of your worship. you can't even sleep well because your loved ones are dead and you are expected to just what? #deal with it on your own? and remain loyal? why? #some sense of 'honour'? #I really like this depiction of faith actually. I really like when clerics and paladins are given agency and critical thought that hey! #this is actually giving me nothing despite me dedicating my entire life to it! and I have only one of it so why not take it somewhere where #it's actually valued. you know. as a treat. #I *personally* much more prefer this depiction of a crisis of faith than what we got with Shadowheart or Lae'zel; their stories are very #interesting on their own but I think throwing yourself from one end to the other not because you actually have a goal that it could serve #but because you are desperate for a purpose #is a slightly less potent character narrative than having an actual goal yourself. not by much but by a little. #again #PERSONALLY

[yuwuta]

yuuta exhibits such previously abandoned, recently adopted dog behavior. incredibly anxious all the time, even though nobody’s out to get him or leave him behind. waits for you to return home or from school or from work excitedly, just to see you when you walk through the door. follows you around senselessly, hovering in your space just for the sake of companionship. initiates affection in prodding ways—starts off next to you, then a hand on your thigh, then deems it safe to lay all the way down, then slowly pushes his head into your lap. gets up whenever you need to get up, and resumes his position as soon as you’re ready. brings you gifts as a sign that he’s thinking of you, and maybe because he likes the affection it brings out in you, maybe because he likes the gentle affirming touches of a hand in his hair or a pinch to his cheek. rests his head on your stomach or his chin on your shoulder when he’s sleepy, stays there, immobile, and will not move unless absolutely necessary. sometimes he gets surprised when he hears you calling for him, there’s a moment of disbelief as he thinks “me? really? you need me?” but it’s very quickly overshadowed by this compulsive need to show up, to please, to do anything for you, which is why he always answers when you call. he doesn’t realize that he has puppygod eyes, especially when he’s excited or confused, but he does and it’s incredible endearing. very reluctant to share your space or attention after a while, considers that to be sacred and he won’t risk being let go or lost again, so as a safety precaution, he keeps himself right by you, waits for you always. 

#atp i need to shut and write the omega verse fics that consistency plague my mind #but while im here time for my obligatory megumi mention bc i mentioned dogs teehee #yes megumi attack dog hes megumi grumbly yes megumi bark bark bite bite BUT BUT BUTTTT #megumi is also used to like... hm........ taming? having? caring for? people in his life and also literal (divine) dogs #so for him yes he bites and barks #but he also... he gets confused if YOU dont follow him around like a puppy bc everyone else in his life has so why not you? #gojo's always been the annoying yapping pomeranian chewing on his arm even if he didn't ask #always in megumi's space even tho he didn't ask but he learned to deal with it #won't admit it but knows that too much attention is better than having someone who couldn't give a shit about you #yuuji is the golden in everybody's life and megumi is no exception #unmovable unshakeable and incredibly addictive even if he doesn't mean to be #and very very attached to the people he cares about so yeah yuuji is loud and annoying but he's also loyal and megumi respects that so fine #nobara is like... she decided she liked megumi and was upset about it so she bit his ankle and he tried to kick her off but she has too muc #pride to get shaken off by someone as scrawny as megumi and somewhere along the way megumi became impressed that she was still there even i #it hurt a bit and she was a little rough it's not like he was worse so fine whatever she can stay too #so if you like... if you dont hover around megumi if you dont pry if you dont prod then he has to be the dog smh #now he's gotta bite for your attention and nudge you and how annoying. he's gonna keep doing it tho. as long as he has to #or until you learn to fall in line and accept your leash too whichever comes first n e way.... anyway............. #somebody's pampered omega always gets what he wants megumi complex is showing...... #this was about yuuta right? ok i'll put his tags now.... #juju #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #jjk smut #jjk fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #yuuta okkotsu x reader #yuta okkotsu x reader

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it can be true that certain lifestyle changes can help with pain and disability, but people really overplay how those changes will affect people's lives.

I've found that exercise has helped my back pain - I have had chronic back pain that PT didn't touch, but exercise has helped. However, what hasn't changed is what exasperates that pain, and when my pain is especially exasperated, it doesn't matter how much I exercise, I'll be in my bed trying so hard to get out, and I'll be seeing white. So, yes, exercise helped me, but it did not save me. That's an example of what I mean.

It's fine to give (solicited!!) advice to people about how to manage things like this. But I'm begging people to be realistic about this. Lifestyle changes can only do so much, and disabilities are - surprise! - disabling.

#disability #i just hate how people turn lifestyle advice into (again) thought-terminating clichés #because i DO all the things i'm ~supposed~ to do and it didn't save me... #...that tells me that it isn't this magical cure people think their advice is #i used my back pain as an example ofc and i'm not saying i have it bad or worse than anybody else #but my pain used to be so much worse and i'm glad it's gotten to the point... #...where i only experience bad days only so often where before it was multiple times per week... #...like as a kid my back pain would keep me up and almost make me cry and PT didn't help me whatsoever #i'm probably about the most active i've been in my life so far and i still have pain because i have a historical precdence for it #this is why i never will judge people for choosing not to make the '~proper~' lifestyle changes that ~help~ with their disability/ies #it isn't a contradiction that i am 'fit' and i'm in the market for a cane (maybe) #(i've been looking around because i want help getting up when i have an 'episode' of pain)

[profounddefendorcrusade-blog]

I feel bad for Starlo.

Star has a point, idk what the four were ticked off about, there is like 99% chance everyone willingly participated in the trolley problem, based on what we've seen of his behavior thus far it's not like Starlo to be that big of a jerk/drag them by force/yell at them to do it. Ed's words:

he does it because Star asks NICELY

clearly jealous

It genuinely seemed like a fun time/fun roleplay, especially since every day is the same. Like, the five are supposed to be a rowdy and adventures bunch, what exactly did Starlo do wrong, I'm genuinely confused and curious. Except taking a big liking in Clover (his posse should know that this is a big moment for him, according to Blackjack they've known each other since high school and had the same liking for westerns. So they were basically a nerd gang.) Starlo was kind, patient and considerate towards Clover the whole time, even warned Mooch about them not being bandits, taught Clover gun safety, wanted to bring his posse along for a fun time, thanked Ace for telling him about getting Clover a new hat...

Sure, at first he only liked Clover for being a human, but as Ceroba says, that changed and he grew to genuinely care about them, plus I can't help but think Star saw himself in Clover and that's part of the reason he was so proud of them all the time even when they messed up (I'll talk more about this at some point)

What exactly made Ace want to leave the gang? He even said how he doesn't mind "getting run over by the fake train"

he's so nice. says sorry for forgetting the safety goggles even when he was scatterbrained due to his excitement. I love him so much

The only real "faults" (I'll call them temporary faults) I saw in Star during the Wild East section was that he was even more enthusiastic and more proud than usual. But how couldn't he be when he met a member of the species that he has admired for so long because they have real cowboys and sheriffs on the surface (who are seen as brave heroes who deliver justice, while Star canonically feels like a nobody farmer). His posse should have realized Clover wouldn't be there forever and just let their boss enjoy himself with his "deputy who'd have to leave sooner or later anyway"(or be more patient with him/ask him why he feels this strongly towards Clover/if there's a deeper reason for that). His friends including Ceroba just turn their back on him so quickly instead. The moment he's gotten the chance to feel valued for once and put himself first and not have to take care of this whole town and everyone in it and live his dream of meeting a real human, suddenly "his personality is damaged?"

Star's literally built this whole town, organised everything, he worries about everyone, Ceroba (plus was the one to give her emotional strength before and after Clover's sacrifice), Kanako, the monsters, his family, struggles with feelings of worthlessness yet never wipes that smile off his face, always does his best to be hopeful and optimistic and make others laugh, gave his posse a nap time so they don't become exhausted, gave Ceroba a free home, didn't act upon his feelings towards her and was a 110% supportive, caring friend instead. THAT'S who he is. He's the papa bear of this friend group, the glue holding everyone together.

He was just *really* excited. Y'all know he's insecure and just wishes to escape who he is and yet y'all blame him for liking Clover so much. Yeah, the four are very clearly jealous. But why won't the four of you control your feelings for a while? As mentioned, Clover WILL HAVE TO LEAVE EVENTUALLY. They won't be Star's "deputy" forever (the kid who's just as into westerns as he is, who values justice just as much, who also values doing the right thing. Someone he clearly felt understood in the presence of, whom he loved; just look at the way he talks about Clove during Showdown). Star seems genuinely confused of what he did wrong poor guy just wanted to live his fantasy for once and feel important:

Even at the beginning Moray's like "oh no Martlet is upset" Mooch replies "don't be a buzzkill nothing exciting ever happens around here" and Ray's like "Yeah you've got a point"

If you all agreed to have a little fun with a human who will very soon leave forever why is Starlo's enthusiasm such a big problem? If the posse weren't into this after all (unless they were simply too jealous which could have been solved with a honest talk and a little patience) why are you doing this "rowdy" job with Star in the first place? Do you want your boring routine day to day life so much back? Or just for Clover to leave (which they will soon enough)? You, western enthusiasts, literally met a real human, A HUMAN FROM WESTERNS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PASSIONATELY INTO (clearly not as passionate as Star but passionate ENOUGH to understand where he's coming from).

... okay.

#Like idk if I'm being biased because Star is my favorite character but I kinda just started thinking more and more about this and... yeesh. #Felt like a BIT of an overreaction to blame Starlo this much #No wonder he cracked #and unlike with Ceroba we actually see him do his very best to “fix” what he did “wrong” #i feel so much sympathy for this guy man #WAY more than for Ceroba #sorry fox lady #uty #undertale yellow #starlo uty #uty starlo #like dude literally had to come crawling on his hands and knees for them to forgive him #what “loyal” “supportive” friends they all are #sobbing for star #poor poor man #meanwhile everyone forgave ceroba for much much MUCH worse #she didn't need to burst into tears and beg for forgiveness even though she SHOULD have #everyone forgives her immediately on the spot + she gets a hug from clover #I'm sorry Starlo #like how was he “selfish” and “reckless” #he did something for himself for the 1st time in his life #y'all are reckless too btw #you put yourself first ONCE and they call you selfish #Star had the right to be mad at them for attacking Clover for no reason other than jealousy #wdym he's throwing you around for human business you literally wanted this #he watched the tapes more than 50 times bc that's how much he hates himself #and yet he's still been doing EVERYTHING in his power to be there for EVERYBODY

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

whiteboard dragons <3 it's dragon appreciation day!

#DRAGON APPRECIATION DAY. GO KISS A DRAGON RN. TAKE THEM ON A DATE. #barn in the corner. ignore him. he'll be in a different post #mannnn jade (green dragon) really just. has a bad time from start to finish #w a few shining moments in between #well. no. tbf she actually gets a decent chunk of Peace in her life #but when shit hits the fan again it just does not stop hitting... Yayyyy!!!!! #man. same for daelyn really. #once the bad times start it just gets Worse and Worse <3 #scribble salad #not-fish <3 #dragon #dragons #dragon oc #oc #original character #original characters #ocs #ITS THE YEAR OF THE DRAGON BABEY LETS GOOOOOOOO #its been like. 2 weeks of 2024 and ive already gotten so much done w my dragons #like! some of them finally have actual names!!!! holy shit!!!

[ashleyslorens]

kissing vs no kissing shows

+ bonus

#for those who didn't know this is what i was referring to earlier #if the no kissing shows have a million fans i'm one of them etc etc #there's just a lot to unpack here #vampire christian in the 2nd gif you will always be famous!!!! #at least aaron had longer hair at that time so he could mask it a bit better #bc in the finley bootleg it looks so much worse wsdkfsdfk #i get they did this bc of covid but they're still so close to each other so how is that better #i'm not complaining i just find it so funny #and i need everyone to be aware of this #i think my life mission is to collect every no kissing boot for every show that has been recorded #moulin rouge! the musical #moulin rouge broadway #aaron tveit #ashley loren #ricky rojas #robyn hurder #broadwayedit #musicaltheatreedit #moulin rouge #*

[cephalonheadquarters]

What the fuck ever dude

#anime girl-esque chamelo is happening again sorry it's a horrible illness with no cure. I said my posts were getting worse #Unrelated i love this brush its So good it makes my life so much easier when i lineart #even thiugh i still kind of suck at lineart and hate it. Its ok #splatoon #splatoon oc #oc #chamelo fláje #my art

[ecoqueer]

I wish that people gave a shit about nonbinary people who don’t use they/them pronouns. You can literally give your friend group (which includes another nonbinary person) a list of your favorite pronouns, none of which include they/them, and mention several times that you don’t like they/them pronouns for yourself, but they’ll make the switch from she/her pronouns to…they/them. And feel super proud of themselves for being sooo progressive as to use they/them pronouns for you….when those aren’t your pronouns.

I think that saying “he she and they are my least favorite but are fine in combination with other things…I’m really fine with any neos but here’s a list of my faves that you can choose from!” Is polite and not a difficult request. I’m not good at being a pushy person, and I shouldn’t need to be.

#it screams #i guess I’ll pull the lists out again and re-link them #but the aforementioned friends view messages from me as a chore and check them rarely so when they do they’ve built up and so just skim #everything #which I’m fucking tired of #I’ve been going back and forth on whether it’s better to have no friends or a few friends who make you feel shitty #dunno which is worse #they also are extremely cavalier with covid while knowing I have no health insurance #and have supported some statements/actions that really make me sad #so idk I might be basically friendless at this point #i hold on for too long to people who have clearly moved on and don’t much care about being my friend anymore #I’ve tried reaching out a few times to no avail so idk I might just give up #try to cultivate online relationships more #which feels pretty impossible to me #sigh #I’ve been not able to sleep well #because of issues in my life with…all of the few people in it #issues that could be solved if I had kept a wider support network #instead of getting trapped with someone who was abusing me and my friends who don’t seem to give a shit about that and expressed more #concern for him than for me when the news was revealed to them #again I don’t have health insurance so no therapist #which I fucking desperately need right now #i have no one separate to talk to #the one who knows all of the different factors from all of the angles…is the abuser #i feel like I’m in so much fucking pain and I feel so alone and all of the people in my life who are supposed to be my loved ones #are standing around me ignoring me completely and acting like everything is okay #just causing me more and more pain #well this didn’t start out intended as a vent but it sure turned into one huh #i wish I could convey to y’all the desperation and loneliness and aching that I feel #vent

[eloquent-apollo]

Hi my name is Sol and I absolutely fucking HATE Gilmore Girls, which is why after watching all seasons & the year in a life show I will be writing a 50k CodyWan fanfic that is not only inspired by Gilmore Girls but will make significant improvements to many aspects of the plot that I personally found to be severely lacking.

#codywan #commander cody #obi wan kenobi #do not ask me about gilmore girls do not ask me about the plot I will end up ranting for AN HOUR AND A HALF ABOUT WHY I HATE IF #but Sol why did you watch all 7 seasons and the year in a life show then? #because I am nothing if not a hater to the core + my mommy didnt raise a quitter #but yea I have been thinking for weeks on how to drastically improve the plot of Gilmore Girls but with Cody as Lorelai #sorry Emily and sorry Jango im about to make u two so much worse than u have any reason to be but whatever #also Rex is Rory obviously #except he is not Cody’s kid but Jango’s dw we will get there later

[blujayonthewing]

pitched battle inside my brain between the part of me that's desperately shaking myself by the shoulders going "YOU HAVE GOT TO ACTUALLY LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE YOU IMAGINE INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND IMAGINING IT UNTIL YOU DIE!!" and the part of me that's clutching my face going "is this allowed? is this allowed?? is this allowed???"

#trying to plan a solo cicada pilgrimage and getting brainworms about it yeehaw #'making a lot of plans and never actually doing things in real life' has been a problem for literally as long as I can remember #but I also feel like I've developed a learned helplessness over the last several years that's gotten worse as I've gotten older?? #me age twenty: I think I'm gonna take myself to chicago next week because I feel like going to the zoo #me age thirty: am I allowed to go camping alone. am I allowed to do a solo road trip. I need a grownup #to be extremely clear I am very much allowed and this is not justin's fault and I don't know where it comes from #like I'll run things by him lowkey seeking 'permission' that I don't even need and he'll be like 'yeah that sounds good to me' #and then I STILL won't do the thing because like. my brain keeps insisting there needs to be a grownup in charge?? HELLO I'M GROWNUP #anyway I'm doing cicada trip solo BECAUSE-- the drive is so long I want to do five days because two of them will just be driving #and he can't get that much time off work right now #AND because I literally only want to Be Camping and Looking At Bugs but he'd get bored of a week of that he likes Activities #me this morning getting insecure and weird: what are your thoughts... on cicada voyage.... #him after at first not even understanding the question: I'm SO excited for you?? you deserve to get to go absolutely feral??? #I do.... ;n; 💕 why am I so scared to be a person....... #about me #cicada journey

[maigetheplatypus57]

I'm not an ethogirl but I think I understand you guys now

Like look at how his cubito pokes his lil head out over the globe... he's just a silly little guy... a little creachur if you will...

#ethoslab #bdubs #secret life smp #trafficblr #life series #maige's posts #from scar's third episode btw #also im not much of an ethubs person either but bdubs' little 'hi etho :D' was so cute #my mental state has been fucking weird these past few weeks im clinging onto any serotonin i can get #sorry in advance if it gets worse from here lol /silly

[starfall-isle]

I’m just a ten cent copy

Of people far more advanced than me

#Stej #spark the electric jester #spark the electric jester spoilers #float #Clarity #flint #spark #art tag #Float is so so much 2 think about. Even before she died there was still this acknowledgement of like. #She does not know who she was before she just knows she was discarded and literally buried alive and everything just gets worse for her :( #character who deserves some kind of resolution the most I think/ #I can’t fully wrap my mind around how Clarity’s replica works (ignoring what was said about her and Astra #solely being extensions of clarity bc I think that kind of sucks and doesn't fully make sense 2 me anyway) #like she is not the original ofc and float was already dead before assimilation but she is still clearly enough of a copy #that she has her feelings and (assumedly) resembles her formie body from before she was experimented on #Something even she didn’t remember‚ & I'm just curious how exactly clarity made her so faithfully 2 float and how much she has that #same kind of cognition and emotional independence that Astra did‚ even if she is only trying to achieve clarity’s goals. #I know WHY float was used 2 trick spark into reaching the Fark force the point was that shes just. Still so real and it’s so sad #The original float is gone but she is still here and she still remembers her life and feelings it’s soo fucked up #The only autonomy she has ever had over herself was when she and flint met each other. She just has been used so much even after death!! #I don’t want to make assumptions about something that isn’t out but like. If floats just gone now after doing so much to reintroduce her as #an agent of clarity I think it would be such a disservice 2 her Character like how interesting could it be to have float but she is not the #same as float she has this girls face and memories but she has been so fractured and manipulated that like. Who could she be now #that clarity isn't in control and she no longer has a purpose. if she ever got to reunite with flint would he be willing to trust her? #Would she want to reconnect with these emotions and memories that she knows she’s been programmed from? How would it feel to know #that everyone else has this idea of you and a history that for you technically isn’t real but it still FEELS real. AUGH #Anyway. segmented like a bug get it #ask to tag #Taphophobia #Blood

[kaltacore]

y'all know the 'and i love you so much i'm gonna let you kill me' line from that one florence + the machine song but i just can't stop thinking about it. like it is the ultimate anders line. the ultimate handers line.

you know, anders's life is (was) about running. he's good at it. he invented new ways to escape for every occasion. he got rid of fereldan templars. he kinda got rid of the wardens. he stayed out of kirkwall templar's sight for years. he could kill people and abandon duties and get away with it because it was what he knew the best.

and then he did something that would shake the world. something that people would demand his head for. before they had demanded it for who he'd been born. and then they got the reason that could not be denied. and he didn't run.

no way that he couldn't. kirkwall was burning and panicking, he could mingle with the crowd and disappear and leave no tracks behind but he didn't. he stayed and he wholeheartedly believed that hawke would kill him.

he was waiting for his coup de grâce. he would rather die by the hand of someone he knew and loved than by the hand of the people he was successfully running from because they hated him and he hated them. more importantly, once he had taken the life of his first love because there had been no hope for him, no salvation.

and he believed there was no hope for him now as well.

(and if hawke doesn't kill him he's so inspired. he's eager to fight because he doesn't want to die. he still has so much to do and now his life is finally completely his, because the first time he doesn't run he's spared. instead of a brand of tranquility or another year of solitary confinement or a knife in the back, he gets to know that there's someone who loves him so much they won't give up on him. they won't become his silent judge and this is the way they save him: not by denying his ideals, not by stopping him from fighting for his cause, but by letting him know there's still hope)

#can all of this happen on a non-romance route? yes and i love that. but i have an odd habit of making everything about handers #on an unrelated note i want to mention that this line of thought happened because i was thinking about my other ship #and they fit this line nicely as well. but it's not that good because there's so much about anders and allowing someone to decide his fate #he was craving freedom all his life! he was fighting against people who were trying to decide for him against his will! #and he was getting away with so much! even all of his suffering in the kinloch would be worse if irving didn't have a soft spot for him! #and then he entrusts his whole life to one person! and he believes they will offer him no mercy! #and all of this because he loves them! because he looks up to them! because they're his one bright light in kirkwall! this is SO SICK #handers #anders #dragon age

[lollytea]

I get to write Willow and Amitys weird awkward friendship in this fic I'm so excited!!!

#its hard being both a willow lover and an amity liker #i LOVE to talk about how amity deeply affected willow's life for the worse #but i also love to talk about how amity has to live with that truth for the rest of her life #i love how amity continues to try because she loves willow #tries too hard even #i love how amity STILL continues to fuck it all up because shes so painfully awkward and guilty #and shes so busy trying to preserve a friendship that died years ago that she doesnt realize that she should be aiming to build a new one #because this is NOT the same girl that she knew #i love that amity still means so much to willow that she cant bring herself to get confrontational over the obvious infantilization #i love that willow is trying so hard too because she wants this to work out so badly #and she cant even admit to herself that this idealized friendship shes wanted back for YEARS is not everything she hoped it would be #i love both girls so much #it used to be a real struggle to talk about this because somebody with a hate bias towards amity always wants to chime in #and like okay fine sure you can hate whatever character you want im not gonna shame you for it #i just dont WANT to discuss one of my my favourite dynamics with people who hate one of the characters yknow? #theyre two teenage girls who love each other and theyre struggling to love each other properly but they want to #I LOVE THEM!!!