#my job rn is fucking ass still

[triggeringtommy]

*kicking my feet n twirling my hair* i wanna kill myself

#personal #not just personal but also relatable #im rly fucking bothersome and i feel rly dumb 4 it bc this shit shouldnt matter but it doooooo it rly do im such a big crybaby itsembrassing #i wanna kms bc nothing in my life is ok #moms relationship with me is getting rly bad again #we cant talk anymore bc she just wants 2 control my life forever #i told her i wanna move back to FL on my own with my best friend #she said shed literally go crazy on me and loose her fucking mind and hurt me LOL #she literally threatened me haha #i hate it hereee #my mommy wantz me 2 stay forever bc im a source of income #she wants 1000 instead of 500 and doesnt care how i make it work if i leave my partner #she said do OF or feetfinder idc how u come up with the other 500 u dont pay rn just get a full time job n sell ur ass idc #she would rather me work a fuckton and still hav to sell my body than me just move out and us go seperate ways #whatever #i hav to think on this apparently #i just wanna move back i want friends i want to be near my family #im miserable here bc im alone with the people who all abuse me #no wonder i puke 24/7 this home life isnt normal

[blog--witch]

Okay!!!!!!!!! I watched GO2!!!!!!!!! I’m once again feeling insane

#good omens #I’ve been busy but I finally watched the whole season #screaming and cheering at the end lmao mean!!!!!! I was like ok based on how everyone’s being they’re gonna be separated at the end #and Christine and I were like ok is aziraphale gonna be offered a job. and is he gonna take it. 🤨 #but I did NOT think there was also gonna be a whole ass Crowley confessing his feelings scene where he Kissed Him On The Mouth #they’re insane for this #Christine: well we are in a post-ofmd world. me: I forgot about that. I’m still trapped in spn mindset hell #what do u mean the two pale coconuts actually jumped together on screen #*bumped #anyways. I get it guys #also tho I’m so excited lol are they gonna be nemeses next season???????? that’s my dream!!! I always want to see friends etc that then #become foes bc of Circumstances #but also tell me aziraphale wasn’t already like Oh I Fucked Up by the end of the ep #how long until he tries to go back to Crowley and this time I think he’ll actually have to do any amt of work to earn Crowleys forgiveness #which he rly has never had to do before lol #but that man Fucked Up “I forgive you shut up!!!!! 😭 #also the blatant amount of dr who references. yeah I remember he’s the doctor thank you for reminding me!!!!!! #I saw a tiktok that was like all my teenage girls in their 20s rn are like BARK BARK BARK WOOF MEOW about David Tennant rn and it’s soo true #The Eternal Tumblr Sexyman #ANYWAYS AGAIN #I’m just dispensing all my thoughts here bc I don’t have time to scroll through a tag and feel insane and I don’t need to barf all these #onto someone else’s post #so here we are #I need to find something else to think about today bc every time I remember crowleys face as he was trying to eek out an I Love You I feel #physically nauseous #what am I supposed to do after that! #sorry to anyone who read all these tags I didn’t mean to

[willowfoot]

.

i'm always like. so embarrassed to be struggling so much to do stuff when I literally Don't Have Stuff To Do. like rn i don't have school or work or any responsibilities that take up a large portion of my time. i'm literally at home all day doing nothing but i still can't bring myself to respond to my friends' messages 🫠

#i keep telling myself i'm going to be a better friend and then i'm like. not #even after adhd meds i'm still in bed half the day feeling like my brain is melting from my ears #personal #negative #ok i'm going to pull myself together and go to bed and tomorrow i am sitting my ass down and responding to every single msg i have left #i think i should set up a certain day or days each week where no matter what happens i am responding to ppl's msgs #even if it's just to say/explain why i can't respond rn #i need a fucking schedule because having no direction for my days beyond a vague 'apply to jobs' #is not helping me be productive in any way #and it's making the rest of my life fall apart

[norfkid]

i have spent way too much money for christmas this year ngl my bank account is reeling

#personal #vent #i’m trying to buy gifts friends and family will actually use rather than useless shit & it gets more expensive every year #and yeah i have a part time job but i’m putting all that income into another account so i can save it for the future #it’s also partly bc i’ve decided to spend money on myself for a change. i actually own a jacket now & have some decent shirts yknow… #(i also really wanted to send stuff to some moots this year but. way too ambitious rn i think) #(esp. bc you’re all fucking overseas my god the shipping costs are insane sometimes) #i can’t explain why it’s taken me so long to take charge of what i wear and the way i look #and i feel like i’m always late to these “self discovery” (i can’t think of a less cringey way to describe it) things #and i still have so many mental drawbacks about it all but hey. it’s something i guess #do wish my dumb ass did this earlier tho i’m living on student funds ffs #slightly ​unrelated but it’s funny i put this much effort into christmas gifts when it’s literally the worst time of the year

[casbeeminestiel]

Bagel chain on campus you will always be special to me

#technically today is my first day of senior year of college #I’m reminiscing rn #I remember coming here a few weeks into my first semester and texting my family because the air was cool #I was still pre-med #I dated one of my best friends for a few weeks #I had zero friends here #I got covid and missed my first week of college #our football team lost the first game in a nail biter and I think everyone knew we were about to improve drastically #my first roommate hardly talked #I sat in the library and studied and went to movies alone #now I’m 20 #I have a job that I love #not a day goes by without seeing a familiar face #I’ve struggled with school on and off but I’ve made it farther than I thought I would in high school #our football team kicks ass now #I met someone who is either the best friend I’ve made as an adult or my soulmate #I still have really bad days and weeks but I’m learning to know that I deserve good things #anyways yeah #ignore this #but college is fucking wild #duckposting

[hella1975]

bagged a trial shift at a new pub just for my manager to immediately put on facebook if anyone wants an extra shift on wednesday. he knows what im doing

#he said GET YOUR ASS BACK HERE RN #lmfaoooo the notif came through literally as i put the phone down i was like 😳😳😳 #like that 'CONNOR' tiktok audio like no king im not doing anythinggg haha wdym #anyway im a bit annoyed that the first place to get back to me from my applications was this one #bc im pretty sure their pay is still minimum wage and also my cousin worked a trial shift there once #and not only did they not pay him but they also never called him back or even emailed to politely turn him down #literally just used him for free labour and that was that #word of warning from a very tired waitress if ur thinking about starting: always take trial shifts with a pinch of salt #if the trial shift is longer than 2 hours they really really should be paying you and if they dont the odds are you got mugged off #also the woman on the phone after i said i worked at the place i currently work at was like 'and do you still work there?' SHE KNOWS #and when i said yes she was like 'would you be willing to leave?' HOW CAN I BE TWO-TIMING BOTH OF YOU RN #LYING TO ONE JOB ABOUT SEEKING ANOTHER JOB LYING TO THE NEW JOB ABOUT LEAVING THE OLD ONE COME ON NOW #IM NOT BUILT FOR THESE LAYERS #but yeah summary here is i have a shift at my actual place on wednesday (thank god i havent had work in over a fucking WEEK) #and i have a trial shift at a new place where i'll most likely be offered a job. life is picking up #ALSO i have enough money to change my america flights bc basically something came up with that and i need to change my return flight #and i was originally rlly worried bc the change cost was £161 and that piled onto my current no-shifts stress was Not Fun #but ive been working a lot for my mum and i got paid for the shifts i HAVE done and it all kinda fell together anyway #the way everything is sorting itself today within the same HOUR yet ive been stressing about these things for days now #hella goes home #hella slaves to capitalism

[lazyspeedy]

sorry to be cliché but i really hate men sometimes :/

#like getting this sentiment from men i meet throughout my life (understandable) #from my dad (checks out ) #but from my little (lol) brothers? (fucked) #it’s a phase they r going thru puberty ~ #fuck that bc when i was in my angsty phase (and tbh im kinda in it rn bc having been a pleasure to have in class made me a late bloomer) #i was NAWT saying slurs and saying swear words so openly and comfortably #like my other brother threw my glasses on the table after he picked them up to ask what they were doing there #and i told him to leave them there bc HONESTLY #they aren’t even in his way #and they were set on a lamp bought for ME #like damn dude why don’t u punch a hole in the wall while u r at it #they are being misogynistic in such a cliché boring way #and to top it off #they r grind ass kissers #like if still choose to believe in working ur way into wealth fine but leave me along abt my job status that’s MY problem #why don’t u pick a major 🙄 #but if i were to say that id be given a bitch glare #at this point im getting a job to spend less time at home #🎟️

[eorzeashan]

lol @ my parents and specifically my dad being so brainwashed by capitalism that every country that didn't subscribe to its system was always poor and deserved to be and the global south was never ramsacked by america or had any cia coups and i'm making it all up and capitalism is a good and pure system and the incredibly skewed and corrupt and incorrect view of communism they have because of traumatic personal experience is the only fact and ONLY type of communism to ever exist which makes them more qualified to talk about it than thousands of authors and teachers who have both experienced and studied it in an unbiased way for decades with entire degrees. I hate capitalism and the way its poisoned my parents minds so thoroughly that the entire idea of capitalism being a system that everyone is born under and forced to participate in with inherently unfair advantages is impossible to fathom. surely america is just rich because the system works and we were only self sufficient! BECAUSE WE PLUNDERED EVERYONE ELSE?

#ooc #political #sorry for the rant i'm actually furious rn that you can look at people from smaller countries and go the system we forced them into to #to work in poorer jobs that force them to serve others from richer countries is actually a good opportunity for them #DIE. #it makes me so mad you can experience poverty and still say it's fair for others to be born into it. #you think it's natural for others to be dirt poor and some to just have it? that it grows on trees? #that god decides whether you have running water or are born in america? #god i want to die. #meanwhile stupid ass dad says everything i learned in university was wrong bc of his personal experience #that everything i read is wrong #that the actual communist manifesto is WRONG? #when there's no right or wrong to it it's an IDEAL #his bias is so intense he has to label a different political alignment as horribly wrong #yeah. as opposed to the ongoing war crime that is capitalism #nevermind how unbelievably racist it is as well #i'm just fucking furious. i hate this family. i said i was so disappointed that i could have such productive discussions in school #with my teachers and fellow students even if they disagreed #and i come to my parents who tout themselves as scholars who pride on education above all #and they talk like fascists #it's just....it's so humiliating. and upsetting knowing they would kiss the ass of a system that actively has harmed so many people #and they can still say that's all of their own fault for not investing #that money is something you can get if you just work #and times haven't changed at all! #i can't bear it here.

[omtai]

after being off for 4 days and having to go to work tomorrow genuinely fills me with dread (rant in tags ignore it i just wanna bitch)

#omtai post #i’ve only been working there for four months and i already fuckin hate it #i literally feel rn how i felt on the sunday night before school and i HATED school #i was miserable #i’m tired i’m just so tired #they work me like a dog for not even seven bucks #it shouldn’t be legal but for some ducked up reason it is #oh but good news min wage gets raised in april! by like 15p #which will still be under 7 bucks #so #yippee #i’m just so tired #all my nice coworkers are fucking leaving too so i’m stuck with all the bitches and lazy asses #it just doesn’t feel worth working there #i gotta clean bigass screens i gotta serve food i gotta clean bathrooms i gotta do customer service #i’m a jack of all fucking trades for 6.83 #but if i quit then i make £0 #because this city’s job market right now is shit 6.83 jobs or fucking nothing #uggghhh #i just feel bad because my parents were sooo happy that i got a job #and if i quit then i’ll just dissappoint them #i hate this i wish i never applied for that piece of shit job in the first place #honestly what the fuck am i saying #why am i wasting my life working all day and night in some dump cinema #where if you bust your ass bending over backwards to be a good little doggy you don’t even get a pat on the back #i’m sick of it i wanna quit

[ms-th-brds]

being the eldest daughter sucks so fucking bad. I'm so over it. my brother is home sick and my dad spent a half hour lecturing me and telling me about how I need to check in with him and take care of him. I spent 20 minutes cleaning up my brother's vomit while he sat there and watched YouTube. my mom is fucking sleeping and no one woke her bc because no one can count on her to do shit, which means obviously the responsibility falls to me. I told my dad I didn't want to clean up my brothers vomit and he told me that as a grown woman this is my job. I complain about how my brother doesn't flush the toilet after he takes a shit, and my dad tells me that I'm worse for not shaving my armpits. what the fuck is this? how is this my life???

#my dad was at his house so it's not like he was home but still #he lives like a five minute drive away #and the implication that it's my job bc I'm a grown woman #right after insulting my pit hair and calling me worse than a man that doesn't wipe his own ass #my brother is almost a fucking adult #i took care of myself at his age #when I was younger than him and I fainted I kept it to myself and took care of it #men are such fucking babies #sorry if this was tmi/too gross or personal #im just seething rn #rant #th-brds

[tpringlesandspockosauceo]

late night loopy rant

but i fucking HATE how pike’s excuse in aos about the nibiru volcano situation was “what if it was good for them”…. like what?

the vuclans are in distress they all scrabble to help but a pre warp planet? no mass murder might be just what they needed guys!

ik its like slightly different but like still the excuse of “this terrible action that results in the death of several hundred people possibly more should be allowed to happen because maybe it was meant to be”

and even the whole “they saw you” schtick like hellooooooo we have been seeing ‘aliens’ hundreds and thousands of years pre warp!! it had zero effect on literally anything!!

and so what if it did??? when the vuclans did first contact EARTH WAS PRE WARP????

i know its probably just bad writing but god wtf, it really bugs me for some weird ass reason

#and dont get me wrong jims lying? terrible #but jim hating spock for… doing his fucking job? even worse #like why would spock need permission to do his fucking job??? #none of this actually matters but my ass cant sleep rn #dare i say it almost sounds very christian and racist… #the indigenous people should die because maybe they deserve it? #idk maybe im grasping at air with that one #still point stands #what the fuck are they doing in that writers room #t’pau: he speaks!

[getgonebyfionaapple]

.

#my anxiety has been kicking my ass lately #I don't want to take more meds for this but idk how to cope :( #even when I work out and am active at the end of the day my heart still feels like it's beating too fast and I'm going to die #usually I can't sleep bc of this and the thing is I was unemployed so it sucks but I can make it work yk? bc one thing I have rn is time #except I'm going to start a new job/ training next week and it's long hours 6 days a week #how on earth am I going to make this work if I can't fucking sleep? #I'm trying to not think about it too much and just see what happens bc maybe everything will work out and I'm overthinking #but idk I'm scared

[skeletons-in-ur-closet]

dude my mom is so delusional i genuinely dont know how she got this far in life

#basically: my family situation is still bad and me my brother and my mom are living in someone elses apartment on borrowed time #not a great situation to be in #so im trying to work a lot so we can get another apartment (theyre so fuckin expensive around here) #so i got a job thats related to my career at 22 an hour and i just got a call for an interview for another job that pays 16 #i intend to do both and make about 700-800 a week which is similar to what i was making #but my mom is always like 'ohhhh ur always so stressed ur always so busy take a break dont get another job' #i think she genuinely like..doesny comprehend our situation rn bc shes just coasting along doing nothing all day like evrrythings fine #while me and my brother (mostly me) are busting our asses trying to get us in a better situation where we dont have to worry about+ #going homeless every fuckin month #its just not FAIR that me n my brother are trying to make things better and shes just. sitting there complaining #and not DOING anything about the things she complains about #and yea i could be nicer to her but shes fucking wasting my money on beer everyday all while complaining we're broke #its not FAIRRRRRR

[lilgynt]

i’m gonna COMPLAIN. SHOCKER.

#personal #it guy hasn’t said anything or made comments or has been sitting with me at lunch which cool #at most it’s like damn lost the only person i talk to at my job at all but then i remember the convos and im like yeah it’s fine #but anyway i just get a weird vibe and im mad! #i’m just mad bc i don’t go after coworkers bc one coworkers im not shitting where i eat #two it’s a very confusing process for me and i don’t need that in my work place #i didn’t ask for him to get weird i didn’t ask for him to get weird after #and now i’m stuck with this awareness and unease bc it stresses me out! #and usually dudes who are into me scare me! #but it’s just frustrating i’m already struggling (socially work wise im super duper killing it) at work #and then you throw that into the mix it’s very confusing and i feel like a bad person #and it’s one of the times i just hate being autistic #would i still be confused and annoyed if i wasn’t? probably but probably not as bad #anyway lip stuff coming today. win. #trying dating apps again #chatting with a body builder rn so that’s going alright #crazy start he wrote. i don’t want to say a poem but a rhyme about king kong and my ass #in under a minute when i said something homo sapien #i was like do i. do i unmatch for this. but also it was really witty for writing in under a minute like i cannot deny that #anyway that’s going okay usual levels of stress with talking with people from dating apps #there’s this one gorgeous guy but he is so fucking boring to talk to #one dude has just been arguing about avatar the last air bender first sentence in and that’s been relaxed engaging #and this one trans dude matched with me and talked about patches but that was a minute ago so 😔😔😔😔😔😔 #girls. r scary is my answer to that

[luvsavos]

life kicks me in the ribs yet again: more than likely i won't be able to get all the money i need in time for the alatreon model, so. got excited for nothing :)

#mar.txt #vent? i guess? #again:girlhelp: #i need $120.25 still and of course i didnt get a job in time because why would things go my way and even if i do a bunch around the house #the money is due the day before my dad gets paid so that won't work #im panicking sort of to the point of being kind of nauseous from it haha #turning to art comms from my friends out of desperation but i don't think i'll get enough to cover the last bit of cost #not to mention the issue of my phone absolutely fucking sucks ass so i can't do digital art until i get a new one so any comms i DO have/get #will have to wait until i get a new phone for me to finish them and i know that's kind of A Problem which is why i'm only asking close #friends who i know won't be bothered by the idea of paying upfront then having to wait a little while for the finished product #though at least i can get the paper basic sketch done，since i draw the basic thing on paper then do more detail and whatnot digitally #idk if any of my moots wouldn't be bothered by that. i can promise i will get the full things done once i get a new phone. i'm just really #fucking desperate rn lmao god i fucking hate everything #i need to just. stop letting myself feel the emotion of excitement over Anything in the future. because when i do it always，ALWAYS goes #wrong. youd think id learn by now but no apparently im just too fucking stupid to #anyways. ill draw humanoids and i can try my absolute damndest at mh monsters even though i kind of struggle with anything but malzeno #practice makes perfect right? hahahahahaaa. fuck me. #not to be concerning on main but if this were me a few years ago i think at this point i'd be genuinely considering offing myself because i #am SO fucking tired of literally everything possible going wrong and even the things that are SUPPOSED to bring me some comfort or happiness #among the ocean of everything else ALSO going wrong #obviously the more money that could be tossed my way the better but hell i'll even do just paper sketch comms for a lower price i am #genuinely desperate because i really REALLY just want this ONE fucking thing to go right for me. god. just One thing. #alternatively if anyone wants to just. Give Me money. idk id feel bad about getting money without giving something in return but if anyone #WANTS to do that theyre free to as well. idk just dm me for my paypal if that or a shitty probably time-delayed comm sounds like smthn youd #be interested in??? even tho who am i kidding lmfao nobody will，that would be too good and i'm obviously just not fucking allowed to have #good things huh #ugh. sorry for the vent post Again. i swear we'll return to the usually scheduled funnyman stuff and ocposting. eventually. :/

[29121996]

.

#it is . Only Thursday n to recap the last 48hrs Alone; #i got fired . had a job interview . hung out w AFew People n did so mucb socialising . #had a Breakdown and a BreakThrough . and saw [redacted] uptown . #that alone is smty i amnprocessing bc what the fuck was tonighy . genuinely what the fuck am i doing and wit essing rn. #AHHHH nope. i cannot rmb this tmr i will habe to kms #oh my god . no. #fuck that mf for always makinf me feel that Thing bc damn if he doesnt . look good n set of a set of alarms i mn me #dawg . i am forev mer fuckrd as long as i live here fr . some9nes gotta move ! bc i cannot . move on romanrically if he is just . #iut here existinf and showing up to places im at . n sendijg me odd mssgd at fuck ass hours of the night like . #everything abt this n him isnso Intrigueing to ne n its addictive . #yea im fucked. truly fucked #i know i could like . Potentuslly Move On eventually and i Will . #but i know how icwork . n i do hate what that mwans tocme. awful. fucking awful. #why a MAN . whyd i have to add anothrr man to that room !!!!!!! dawg !!!!!! #rmb joking abt how if it didnt work out w him id have ti date women #n i fear i may have been right tbh. like no man is Cutting It Close. nocone does it for me like him :/ #i checked mt tumblr following today . theres abt 13 #1.3k of u fuckers #logically mosy od them are dead or bots #but still . thats an insane amt #anyway . my insane obsessuon w . how hr works . dawg. #sometimes i will see him or come across a photo of him n i will rmv why i do love him . #n its so fucking awful bc i am just . Fucked. im so fucked. n all of this Sucks Ass. #n idk what tocdo abt it. eho the fuck am i supposed toctslk to abt it. #logivslly him but i cant do that . even tho him brekaing nc tecgnicslly means freegame vc Dawg what thebfucj #but . i genuinsly do Not know what to fucking say. n that Sucks lol. #like.