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captainsimagines · 3 years

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traitor

Summary: It was only one night, no strings attached, just two friends working through their grief together. Steve went to live his life with Peggy and within two weeks of returning, he peacefully passed. Unimaginable things happen everyday, jokes have negative consequences, and protection doesn’t always protect from the possibility… the possibility of carrying a child. He would have stayed if he knew, everyone agrees with this, so why is the world calling Steve Rogers a traitor?

One-Shot (with a happy ending)

Pairing(s): Avengers x Fem Reader; brief Steve Rogers x Fem Reader

Warnings: Unexpected pregnancy; serious talks about abortion; brief mention of suicide (if you squint); mentions of Endgame deaths; strong language; minor descriptions of actual birth; ANGST but with a happy ending! This is purely fanfiction.

Word Count: 6,600+

A/N: So, Olivia Rodrigo’s album just came out and dude, jfc every song is magical. like... wtf. This is essentially a ‘song fanfic’, but ehhhh not quite. The lyrics don’t match the fanfic lmao but the melody does??? idk this is a shit ton of angst, be warned. It was from a request I got a while back, so this is kind of a request fanfic.

Up until the moment Steve pressed his soft lips to yours, you were certain you had never experienced such a wonderful sensation of magic. You had been witness to actual magic, to beings from other worlds, and yet Steve’s gentle touch was enough to erase any other image, to completely overpower your senses, a kind of magic that dug deep into the trenches of your heart and settled in its new home.

No, you and Steve were not a couple. There were some flirty remarks over the years, some fantasies that lay dormant, but there was never the craving to actually act upon them. But when half the world disappeared and the remaining Avengers came up with a plan five years later, the loss of a teammate prompted the sudden push of two touch-starved individuals. The rest of the team had gone to sulk in their own corners of the compound, some hard at work at constructing the final piece to the puzzle, and you and Steve ventured off to the kitchen. Two cups of tea each, silent but heavy tears mixing in with the sugar and milk.

You were the first to break, shoulders crumbling and knees rocking under your weight. You fell to the floor, sobs and hiccups forming into a full-blown attack, your hands scratching at your neck. Steve fell beside you, pulling you into his chest and rocking you back and forth. He cried too, the final words of his best friend ringing in his ears like a dreaded song on repeat. See you in a minute. See you in a minute. See you in a minute.

Time was irrelevant, you had enough of counting time, estimating it, time-traveling through it. If you could sit there all night, all week, another five years huddled close to Steve Rogers, then so be it.

‘I can’t believe she’s gone,’ you had sobbed.

‘I can’t believe it either. I can’t,’ he had cried back.

You had simply lifted your head and turned his face toward yours, searching his eyes for any hesitation before you had leaned in first. He had returned the intimate gesture almost immediately, gripping you tightly. Tears dripped in between your moving lips, sobs caught inside breathy moans, grips becoming tighter and tighter as each of you shared your first time together. No other partner up until that point had ever pulled such a pained but grateful cry from your throat, no other human being had ever made you feel so safe and peaceful.

The final battle was over, you had lost yet another teammate, but the world had a chance to start over. And Steve had pulled you aside a few days before he returned the stones, letting you know that he wasn’t coming back the same man. He had been so scared of telling you, of possibly betraying you, but when your palms cupped his cheeks and you gave him a kiss on the lips with a soft whisper of ‘Be with her. Cherish her. Be happy. We’ll meet again’, his worries instantly shattered. He could only rapidly nod his head, grabbing your hands that were soaked in his tears, and kissing them until he said his final goodbyes.

And he returned such a different man, but with a smile you had never quite seen before. Yes, he was older and you only had a few seconds to actually process that, but he was happy. He had been happy. He finally lived the life he deserved.

Sitting in that pew two weeks later, both sad and happy tears streaming down your face, you felt at peace for the first time in a long time. You simply gripped Wanda’s hand as they carried the casket down the aisle, a sad melody drowning the church.

The first round of sickness hit you the day of the funeral, but you obviously didn’t think much of it. It was the fits of sadness and grief, the hot coil in the middle of your stomach, you thought. It had to be. It wasn’t until your breakfast was regurgitated into your toilet only a few minutes after enjoying it that you were suddenly worried.

You sneaked to some liquor store a subway ride away, careful of not leaving a trail. This was embarrassing, it was insane, it couldn’t possibly be real. You gave the cashier your money and ran to the stall provided, peeing on the stick the best you could before placing it on the dirty sink in the corner. You patted your hands on your thighs repeatedly, careful to not touch any other thing in a goddamn liquor store bathroom.

‘Friday?’ your voice was so defeated, tears already stinging your eyes.

Your little bluetooth sprang to life, ‘Yes, Y/N?’

Your bottom lip was trembling wildly, hands now shaking. ‘Can you stay active with me while I read the results? I can’t… I can’t be alone right now.’

‘Yes, Y/N. Anything you need, I’m here.’ You sobbed openly, thanking her under your breath. ‘Are you sure you don’t want me to contact anybody else?’

‘I can’t face them. I can’t face them if it’s positive, Friday.’

‘Okay, it’s alright,’ her voice was so delicate, so quiet and reassuring. ‘Just keep talking to me, Y/N. I think the results should be ready now.’

You inched closer to the test. ‘I’m scared, Friday.’

‘I know,’ Friday sighed, ‘But you will get through this. No matter the result.’

Grabbing the small device from the sink, you swallowed so much saliva that it actually hurt. The plus sign was so clear, so evident in its visibility, and your ears only registered the loud cries escaping your painful lungs because Friday was practically yelling in your ear.

‘Please, calm down Y/N! Your heart rate is too fast-” she was stuttering, an AI was stuttering. ‘I’m calling for help. You need someone to be here with you. I’m sorry.’

It took ten minutes. Ten minutes of banging outside the bathroom door from the cashier, ten minutes of blurry vision and a strep throat. Sam broke through the door as quickly as he could, eyes flying around the small bathroom until he saw you huddled in the corner, a pregnancy test clutched in your small hand. He crouched down beside you, hands extended but not exactly touching you, and eyes trying to lock with yours.

‘Y/N, Y/N?’

Just the sound of his voice, the voice of someone who didn’t need this added pain in their lives, it was just too much. Another weight added to your shoulders.

‘I don’t know why,’ you choked out, ‘I’m so sorry.’

Sam’s face contorted into a pained expression, eyes brimmed with salty tears. ‘What are you talking about? No one is blaming you for anything. You’re safe, I’m here.’

You shook your head violently, ‘I didn’t mean to.’

But as quickly as those words left your mouth, the pounding in your head had become too unbearable. You collapsed into Sam’s arms.

You woke to a single doctor who was monitoring your vitals. She was just sitting beside your bed, clicking random buttons on the screen in front of her. You whimpered slightly, the bright lights temporarily blinding you. The doctor quickly stopped what she was doing and removed the tube from your nose, allowing you to breathe on your own. You ignored the weird scratch that caused, and asked her the question you needed to have answered by a true medical professional - not a liquor store device.

She confirmed what you already knew. There were no ‘congratulations’ or even ‘I’m sorry’s’, just the fact that you were pregnant and it was very early on. There were still options for you, it was healthy so far, you were healthy so far-

Wait, options?

The team were all huddled outside, nerves all over the place. They didn’t know what was going on. Sam knew but it wasn’t his information to pass on. It wasn’t until Bucky’s angry demeanor actually turned violent, a hole forming through the hospital wall. You were all on a private floor, completely displaced from the reality down on other levels, so any freak-outs were only slightly justified. Slightly.

‘Sam, you gotta tell us. I made a promise to Steve, Sam! I promised to take care of her!’

Bucky’s words gripped Sam’s heart in a metaphorical vice. ‘She’s gotta tell you guys, man. It’s not my place.’

You had curled in on yourself, the doctor’s words echoing louder and louder.

‘Abortion is an option. At this rate, it would be quick and safe. I can promise you that. It’s your choice.’

You wanted to die. You wanted the world to swallow you up and bury you alive. You wanted to disappear. If you had died in the snap, this wouldn’t have happened. It wouldn’t have happened.

The ride back to the compound was a quiet one, with Sam driving you and the radio on low volume.

‘Are you going to tell them?’

You bit your lip, ‘The doctor said I had options.’

Sam’s breath hitched and he tried to mask it, but you had heard it. You felt guilty, disgusting, like you betrayed Steve and the rest of the team. They had just lost him, you had just lost him, and you were carrying his child. And if Steve would have known, he would have wanted it. He would have encouraged you to have it, he would have been so happy, he would have been such a great fa-

‘The choice is yours, Y/N.’ He glanced over at you, ‘Can you at least tell me who the father is?’

The wrecked sobs were like second nature now, choking you with their strength. ‘I’m so sorry!’

Sam pulled to the side of the road and quickly took off his seatbelt, sliding over in the connected front seats to pull you into his chest. ‘Shh, hey. We are not going to be mad at you. Everything’s going to be okay. It may not seem like it now but-’

‘Sam!’ you cried, clutching his shirt in a tight fist. ‘I swear it was an accident! Steve didn’t know! He didn’t know, I swear he didn’t know!’

Sam’s mouth dropped open, an almost embarrassing noise of surprise sounding from the depths of his soul. He ran his hands through your hair, eyes rapidly searching for a single viewpoint. But he couldn’t focus on any one thing, not when you were shuddering against him and apologizing nonstop.

Steve didn’t know.

The team had reacted in a similar manner. They so desperately wanted to wish you a congratulations, it was the norm for this kind of thing. Especially with such a rough few years - bringing life into this world could be considered an ultimate blessing. But this was Steve’s child, his baby, his only baby in this timeline. It was a part of him, something he had unknowingly left behind.

The team took a few days. The pain of losing Natasha, of losing Steve, of losing Tony. The gift of life. It was just too much.

And you found yourself in front of Wanda’s bedroom door, hands clutching your night robe closed and knees wobbly. She brought you tea, she laid underneath the covers with you, she spooned you until you stopped crying.

‘We weren’t together.’

‘You weren’t?’

You sat up, muscles straining due to your thousandth crying session that week. ‘No, it was one time. It was a mutual thing. We just… felt safe. And we made love.’

Wanda shut her eyes briefly, only to open them for two parallel tears to slip. ‘That sounds beautiful.’

‘We used protection. It really was an accident.’

Wanda interrupted, ‘No, don’t try and justify yourself. It happened. It’s done.’

You whimpered, reaching out to grab her hands. ‘I feel so guilty for even talking to you. I don’t know how you did it. I’m so selfish to be pouring all this on you-’

‘Hey, hey,’ she whispered, ‘But I am the only one who can truly understand. I have lost more in my lifetime than anybody ever should. But I am going to help you get through this, Y/N.’

You pulled her into a hug, ‘I missed you so much. I’m so sorry, but I can’t do this.’

Wanda slowly pulled away, eyes cloudy and touch of red twinge flying in her irises. ‘Alright. I won’t leave your side. No matter what you decide.’

The chair was cold, the room was cold, no matter how inviting the hospital tried to make this room. It was decorated in the most neutral colors, so delicate in its designs, pamphlets and books scattered on every available surface. It was made to make the pregnant person feel secure, to feel comfortable in the hands of their doctor, but it just made you sick.

And when the doctor asked if you would like an ultrasound first, that it wasn’t actually necessary for you to view it, you found yourself saying yes. You were at six weeks, it would be there. Wanda clenched her eyes shut, because even if you were strong enough to do that, she wasn’t. But she was here to hold your hand. She would hold your hand no matter what.

It was the size of a grain of rice. That fuzzy, white figure off a little to the right of your uterus was the size of a grain. A literal grain of rice. The monitor shifted and the doctor cleared their throat, the slimy device absentmindedly being circled around your lower abdomen.

‘Oh my god,’ you whispered, eyes locked on the place the doctor had their finger. Wanda brought her hand up to her mouth and looked away.

That’s when you heard it.

The steady rhythm of a strong heartbeat.

Your chest started heaving, tears staining your cheeks as you listened to the beautiful sound.

‘I’m so sorry,’ the doctor mumbled, ready to pull the monitor’s plug to end the live video but you gripped their arm before they could.

‘No, no!’ you yelped, the heartbeat still sounding, so early in its actual life that this was for sure Steve’s child.

You turned to Wanda, face contorting into one of agonizing regret. ‘I can’t do this. I can’t do this to Steve.’

Wanda gulped and took in a ragged breath, ‘Y/N, Steve’s not here.’

‘No,’ you whined, head turning back to look at the monitor. The monitor with yours and Steve’s child on it. ‘This is the only real part of him we have left, right?’

Wanda opened her mouth but shut it again, unable to formulate a proper response.

‘This is Steve’s child,’ you stated, sucking in a breath through your sobs. ‘This is my child.’

The team was alerted of your decision the minute you walked into the common room. They had known what you left for, dread itching in their souls and morals twisting greedily, but they hadn’t stopped you. They couldn’t do that to you.

‘Hi,’ you mumbled, placing your things on the counter. Everyone kept their heads down, lumps growing in their throats as each second passed. ‘I’m okay.’

Clint was the first one to speak. ‘Did everything go well? Did they hurt you?’

You smiled with your teeth for the first time in weeks, ‘No, they didn’t hurt me. They didn’t even touch me.’

For a few seconds, no one caught on to your words. But Bucky was the first to register them, to etch them deeply into his brain, to stand from his seat and walk to you cautiously. ‘You decided-?’

You smiled wide now, happy tears falling over your strained cheeks. ‘I’m having a baby.’

The team erupted, cries and cheers deafening you. Bucky stumbled over and hugged you close, arms wrapped over your shoulders and face buried in your neck. He had to bend his knees to keep that position. He weeped into your shoulder and thanked you repeatedly, his own body rumbling with broken sobs. You held him close, fingers digging into his shirt and the skin of his back.

‘We promise, Y/N,’ Sam said off to the side, waiting for his turn to hug you. ‘We promise to take care of you and this baby.’

A few more long-awaited congratulations were shared. ‘Guess I’m on desk duty for the next nine months, huh?’

Bucky held you tighter.

The first four months were certainly eventful. Wanda insisted on taking pictures of you every few weeks. She had you model with a nice tight shirt to show off your growing stomach, different props in your arms as the weeks passed on. Flowers, sporting equipment, random Avengers inventions, signs that read the number of weeks you were at. You even did couple shoots, with your teammates posing behind you with their hands on your stomach and an equally bright smile.

She had them printed out and framed, the compound common rooms now littered with random photos of you and your growing child. It was like a timeline, a museum considering you would catch someone inspecting the photographs. This time it was Scott, casually eating his cereal and balancing it in his hand as he walked the hallway. He had this silly smile on his face the whole time, milk dripping from his bottom lip. In his photo, he was posed behind you with a giant smile, back arched and head thrown back while you were trying your best to arch your back as well. And then he saw you watching him, eyes falling from your face to your stomach, and that silly smile growing wider.

Happy insisted on doing yoga with you every other morning, his chosen playlists actually Tony’s. Half expecting the songs to only emit the essence of rock and roll, you were surprised when the playlist only contained acoustics. Happy winked at you, ‘He was a man of taste, Y/N. He, too, had those sad driving songs.’

Peter was hesitant to visit at first. He was still mourning Tony, as you all were, and seeing everyone again was certainly a hard thing to do. But he managed, and the moment he saw you there, trying to balance a plastic bottle on your tiny stomach, he burst into a fit of giggles.

‘Oh, oh! I almost got it!’ you encouraged yourself, stomach not yet protruded enough to quite get it.

Peter rushed over and caught the bottle as it slipped, ‘You’ll get there. How do you feel?’

You grinned at the kid, ‘Like I’m pregnant.’

Peter chuckled, ‘I wouldn’t know, so.’

‘It’s weird,’ you admitted, turning back to your abandoned bowl of fruit. You popped a piece of pineapple in your mouth, ‘But I just remind myself that they’re gonna be an angel when they come out.’

‘All slimy and angelic.’

You swatted at Peter, ‘They’re healthy. That’s all that matters.’

Peter placed his hand on your stomach, half-expecting something to happen. ‘I can’t believe you’re having his baby.’

You bit your lip, willing yourself not to cry. Steve should be here experiencing this. ‘Me neither.’

The next month had come so quickly. Your friends - your family - made sure to keep you occupied. Whether it was to shop, to nap together, to eat together, to exercise together, anything, they were by your side. It was so overwhelming at times, but not wanting to scare anyone, you took time for yourself whenever you could. You’d settle in your room, in a nearby cafe, in Natasha’s room, and just sit and breathe. With one hand on your stomach, you couldn’t possibly fathom the luck on your side. It always tore your heart in two when you realized Steve would never meet his child, absolutely mutilated it. But the realization that this child was going to have such a massive family, your family, uncles and aunts who would die for the kid - that realization was sometimes too much.

The thunder from outside startled everyone. The quiet night everyone was having was suddenly interrupted by the appearance of a certain god, hair now cut and beard trimmed, running into the common area. He was practically hyperventilating, his quick pace halting as he scanned the room. ‘Is it true?’

‘You got my message?’ Wanda asked, shutting off the water from the sink.

‘I’m sorry, I was away. I just got the message and-’

Thor lay his eyes on you, your obvious stomach, and he started crying softly. ‘It’s true?’

You smiled at him, opening your arms for an embrace. But Thor fell to his knees in front of you, forehead resting on your stomach. ‘This is a miracle.’

‘It really is,’ you laughed, wiping away a few stray tears. ‘The condom broke.’

Laughter sounded almost instantly.

Thor looked up at you, eyes red and eyebrows furrowed. ‘He didn’t know?’

You shook your head, ‘No, Steve didn’t know. I promise.’

Thor nodded, believing you. He stood slowly, encasing you in a tight squeeze. He hadn’t changed much since you last saw him, but he did seem to be drinking less. ‘After so much loss, the Heaven’s send us a gift from a beloved friend.’

Bucky seemed to be the happiest. Although he shared your beliefs that Steve should be here to experience this, to cherish this, to be the father he had deserved to be, Bucky couldn’t help but feel grateful that you decided to keep the baby. He knew he needed to stop relying on Steve to fix his mind, this he had to do on his own, but the bundle of joy inside of you just added to his undying love for his best friend. This was a piece of him, a true half of Steve’s heart that would soon be breathing air and opening its eyes.

He was currently laying beside you, just woken up from a nap and lazily drawing circles over your clothed tummy. You were still asleep, deep breaths a little ragged since you were twisted slightly to your side. You had given up trying to sleep on your back nowadays.

‘Hey there,’ Bucky whispered, a funny smile forming on his face because he can’t believe he’s talking to your literal stomach. ‘You know you’re a miracle, right?’

There was no response, obviously. But Bucky just positioned himself to lean on his elbow, temple resting in the palm of his hand. ‘We’re going to love you so much. Steve would have loved you so much.’

He placed his metal hand on your stomach, careful not to apply so much pressure. He was hesitant though, the metal hand now from Wakanda but still something he didn’t entirely trust. Still, he rubbed smooth circles on your side. ‘I already love you so much.’

Kick.

Bucky widened his eyes, a hitch in his breath. Was that real?

‘Did you just respond to me?’ Bucky asked, a little laugh escaping his lips. ‘Should I say it again?’

Nothing happened for a long while. He switched hands, rubbing a little deeper now. It was a free massage for you, anyway.

Bucky bit his lip and looked up at your face, still peacefully dreaming. He leaned closer to your stomach and repeated his earlier confession. ‘I love you.’

Kick.

Bucky shot up from his spot on the bed and covered his mouth, a loud laugh accidentally escaping and startling you awake.

‘W-What?’

‘They kicked! They kicked!’

‘Seriously?’

Bucky was shooting through the stars, because even though it was a long shot, he felt like somehow Steve was telling him he loved him back.

Sam’s leg bounced madly as he watched the doctor slick up the generator. You repeatedly tried to calm him, tell him that it would be quick and simple, and there was nothing to be worried about.

You were six months now. Belly now protruding to the point where you could only see the tips of your toes when you glanced downward, and the baby was positioned farther into your back. If anything, you were having a giant freaking baby. He was a product of a super soldier.

You remembered having that scary conversation with the doctors, your whole family beside you as they heard and relayed the information.

‘Your baby is perfectly healthy. The serum isn’t affecting it. His lungs are forming less quickly than the other organs but there’s no serious worry.’

Bucky had literally cackled at that, confusing everyone in the room. ‘Steve and his shit lungs.’

But now you were finding out the sex. Only one person was allowed in the room this time, and Sam had literally begged you with his eyes to choose him.

‘Are you two ready?’

You each nodded at the doctor, waiting for the monitor to spring to life. After a few seconds, the heartbeat was detected. You gripped Sam’s hand in yours, a quiet ‘thank god’ passing through his lips.

Then the giant image of a literal baby appeared on the screen. It was so surreal. It resembled a quick sketch, like one Steve would have casually drew, and you couldn’t help but imagine him drawing that very image from memory.

‘Y/N, I-’ Sam cleared his throat, smiling at you.

‘Would you like to know the sex of the baby?’

‘Yes, please,’ you answered, gripping Sam’s hand harder.

The doctor moved the generator a few times more, hitting the spacebar on the computer to capture the image. ‘Congratulations, you’re having a boy.’

You shuttered a tiny laugh as Sam flew out of his seat, arms extended upward for a moment before he brought his hands down to kiss them over and over.

‘I’ll print this out for you,’ the doctor smiled, leaving you and Sam to celebrate.

Everyone had gathered later that night to find out the news. You had printed enough copies for everyone who wanted one. Bets were placed, a multitude of gifts already mounted in online shopping carts.

‘Don’t keep us waiting!’ Rhodey shouted, champagne bottle at the ready and propped up on his thigh for when you made your announcement.

Sam was standing beside you, a massive grin plastered on his face. You rolled your eyes at him and urged him on, telling him that you were fine with him saying it. Sam didn’t need to be told twice.

‘It’s a boy!’

Pop! Drinks were poured and hugs were shared, with even Friday coming over the monitor to congratulate you.

Even in the midst of all the excitement, you felt a little empty. But you enjoyed your pre-baby shower, happy that everything was so unbelievably working out.

It was midnight when you alerted Friday to call Happy to your room. You needed a ride.

Happy was slightly irritated at being woken up, but once you told him where you were heading, he obliged. The ride was silent, comfortable, with Happy glancing at you once in a while to make sure you were okay.

You walked across the grass slowly, hands resting on your stomach and just a little waddle in your walk. You flashed your phone light over the headstones even though the headstone you were looking for was in a secluded area. Happy trailed you, keeping a respectable distance.

You stopped in front of the small building, the fence somewhat blocking your path. But there was no security around, and even if you were caught on camera, your face let everyone know who you were and your connection to Steve. You had no worries.

You broke the lock easily and opened the door. It was almost entirely marble, a good deal of Steve’s actual aesthetic. So simple, not overly patriotic, and secluded. He had refused to be buried in Arlington.

You sat on the bench provided, the three names in front of you standing out like they were begging to be read out loud. So you complied.

‘Sarah,’ you muttered, smiling as the name rolled off your tongue. ‘Thank you for sending everyone a literal angel.’

You muttered his father’s name as well, but felt no personal connection to it. You spent at least ten minutes building up the courage to utter his name, to say his name in front of him again. He was buried right underneath your feet, his name the only thing for you to see.

‘Steve,’ you sighed and rubbed your stomach. ‘Steve.’

You sobbed silently and watched as the tears fell on top of your resting hands. ‘I don’t regret it.’

You were met with silence. ‘I don’t regret any of it. God knows why he did this. But you lived your life, and I just can’t believe I have to bring life into this world without you here.’

‘It’s a boy, Steve. A lovely little boy.’

You brought your hand up to your mouth to bite the side of it, throat clenching. ‘Everyone is so happy. I am, too. I promise you.’

You lowered your hand back to your stomach. ‘I just wish that you could feel that happiness.’

The moonlight moved slightly, shining on his name brighter now. ‘He’ll know about you, don’t worry about that.’ You laughed.

You didn’t want to keep Happy waiting. You stood from the bench slowly, feet sore. You walked closer to him, wishing you could easily bend down and give him a kiss. But you physically couldn’t right now, so you blew him one instead. ‘Thank you.’

Somehow the rumor got out that an Avenger was pregnant. And when Wanda was seen outside without a large stomach, all fingers were pointed at you.

The news went ballistic, most positive and raving, while others pondered just who had gotten you pregnant. You had been seen with everyone in paparazzi photos, so no actual conclusion had been made.

Until a picture of you at Steve’s gravesite was leaked.

It was constant bombardment, timelines were stitched together, magazines and their headlines were having a field day. Rhodey had tried to cancel these news stories, to threaten lawsuits, but to no avail. The world was now cursing Steve’s name - ‘how dare he leave her while pregnant?’, ‘how could he leave her pregnant and for another woman?’, ‘did he even know?’

The team had done everything in their power to try and clear yours and Steve’s name, but no one was having it. Steve’s love story was now tarnished, with many calling him a traitor and a deadbeat. It was no use.

You struggled to climb the stairs, inwardly cursing the staff for not installing a ramp instead. The flashes were blinding, the lights were hot, and the various microphones placed on the stand were comical.

Everyone hushed, looks of sympathy and pity slapping you in the face.

‘I know what you’re all thinking and what you’ve all been saying,’ you started, eyes wandering to the far corner of the room where your team were huddled. ‘But I need to clear a few things up.’

‘Steve didn’t know.’

The crowd erupted, questions flying at you like fast bullets. They were silenced after a few moments. ‘We shared a moment with each other before we brought everyone back. I didn’t know I was pregnant until after his funeral.’

The crowd murmured amongst each other. ‘He told me he was planning to stay in another timeline. To live his life. I encouraged him. He did not leave me alone and pregnant. He truly didn’t know.’

You finished, they didn’t deserve a deeper explanation. You ignored their calls for questions, some even trying to crowd you at the doors. But you pushed through them, cradling your stomach with a newfound sense of pride.

It was time.

You sat up in your bed and quickly wiped away the hard crusts from the corners of your eyes. You sat there for a few seconds before you felt another harsh twinge. ‘A-ah!’

You didn’t know why you paused, legs now thrown over the side of the bed. They felt like menstrual cramps, it could be false labor. You let out a heavy breath and pushed yourself up, legs wobbly. But the moment you did, it was like something snapped. Your legs were wet and a tiny puddle had started forming on the floor.

‘Friday!’

The lights in your room turned on immediately, ‘Y/N, is it time?’

You moaned at the uncomfortable cramping, ‘Yeah, I think it is.’

‘I’m waking and alerting the team right now, Y/N. Sit back down, please.’

You listened to Friday, sitting at the edge of your bed for a few moments before you realized you had to pack a bag. You shuffled across your room and grabbed the duffel bag Scott had left for you a few days ago. You packed a pair of socks, sweats, underwear, vaseline and your toothbrush, hairbrush, and phone. You zipped your bag just in time for both Bucky and Sam to throw open your door, Sam struggling to put his shoes on and Bucky slipping on a jacket inside-out.

‘Y/N, is it really time? Are you ready? Are you okay?’

You ignored the cramping in your back and laughed at them, ‘Yes! My water broke, I’m in pain, it’s time.’

With both Sam and Bucky at your sides, they held onto you as you all stumbled down the hallway. Thor was already waiting with the elevator open, the biggest smile on his aging face.

‘Wanda and Bruce are preparing the room. Scott already called the doctor. Clint’s in route,’ Bucky reassured. The three men huddled into the elevator with you, all instructing you to breathe and to squeeze them if you needed to.

But even though you were in pain, albeit not as extreme as it was going to inevitably get, you were so incredibly happy. They were all so loud, so chaotic, and you were as calm as a cucumber.

The elevator dinged. ‘Good luck, Y/N,’ you heard Friday call after you. You pinched your eyes closed, the thought that Friday was ultimately a part of Tony’s consciousness - Tony was wishing you good luck.

The pressure in your hips was starting to build and you didn’t know how long this would actually take. Some people had quick births, some people lay in labor for hours, some for a day. But it seemed like this was going to be pretty quick, because your next scream was completely involuntarily.

Bucky winced, leading you to the bed Wanda had just lay sheets on. ‘You’re doing great, Y/N. Absolutely perfect.’

You laughed at Bucky and gripped his hand in silent thanks before slipping into the bed and trying to get comfortable. Before you could truly feel like you made it, like the first hard step was done, you sat up quickly.

‘Wait, wait! Nat’s sweater! I was gonna wear Nat’s sweater!’

Thor was already out the door, ‘I’ll get it! Don’t worry!’

You smiled at the ceiling, beads of sweat now rolling down your forehead. ‘Oh, this hurts!’

It was an hour. Once you shimmied into Natasha’s purple knitted sweater, you lay there trying to control your breathing. Everyone had piled into the room one right after the other. The room was big enough, spacious enough for even Bruce to roam freely. Although you were in an immense amount of pain, you still focused on your team.

Scott was on his third cup of coffee, sipping excitedly as he conversed with the others. Bruce was constantly checking your vitals and wanting everything the doctor was saying repeated. Wanda was beside you, a hand gripping yours and the other running ice chips along your lips. Bucky was on your other bedside wearing one of Steve’s sweatshirts because it still smelled like him. His logic was that if he was wearing something of Steve’s the first moment he held your baby, then the first thing he smelled would be the remnants of his father.

And Thor was practically speechless, silent in his own little corner and feeling like the god’s really did bless everyone in this room after such turmoil.

Clint arrived with Peter trailing behind him just when the doctor instructed you sit up - you were at ten centimeters.

‘You gotta push, Y/N! You gotta push when the doctor says push!’

You yelled until your lungs gave out, head almost rolling back but Sam held it in his palm. ‘C’mon, Y/N! You’re doing great!’

You usually had perfect pitch when you sang, never faltering when it was time to hit a high note. But your voice was cracking at the most unusual times, throat rubbed raw as you felt your hips splinter open.

‘He’s crowning!’

Wanda traded places with Sam real quick, deciding that she wanted to see the baby when he was finally out. Bucky had a death grip on your hand, tears flowing freely and a smile to match Thor’s.

‘Push, Y/N! Push!’

‘I’m-I’m! I’m sorry! I can’t!’

The doctor was working her hands around the head, trying to ease the baby out easier. ‘Trust me, Y/N. One more big push and the shoulders will be out. That’s the hardest part.’

The doctor’s words were starting to drown out, and your head lolled back again. You felt tiny smacks on your cheeks, ‘C’mon, Y/N. You can do this. Everyone believes in you. You’re so goddamn strong, Y/N!’

That was Bucky’s voice. Bucky.

You opened your eyes, delirious for a second. ‘Steve?’

Bucky whimpered and nodded, bringing your hand up to his lips and pressing kisses all over. ‘He’s here. I feel him, Y/N. You can do this.’

And you could feel him. You could see your family but you could feel him. It was so light, like a gentle whisk across the cheek, a promise that this truly was a miracle.

You screamed as you pushed under doctor’s orders, feeling numb and abused but satisfied. His shoulders slipped out and along with them came his arms and torso, legs and all ten toes. The doctor caught him quickly, lifting him up vertically to let you see him. He was already crying.

‘He’s here!’

You sobbed and smiled widely, laughter rattling your chest as the team bombarded you with quick hugs. Sam remained at your side, his eyes motioning for Bucky to go see the baby.

‘Who’s cutting the cord?’

You looked around the room but you knew. You answered the doctor’s question. ‘Bucky.’

Bucky was truly confused. Not because of your decision, but because he couldn’t possibly be worthy of this. His hands, those hands that had killed so many people involuntarily, had almost killed Steve, those hands were now gripping a pair of medical scissors to cut the symbolization of new life entering the world. He turned to you for permission one last time, before he gripped the cord in his hand and cut where the doctor pointed.

His shoulders felt a million times lighter. Like he was set free all over again.

They cleaned the baby up quickly and swaddled him. The doctor placed him in your arms, all warm and utterly safe, to look back up at you with the same blue eyes as his father.

You sobbed happily, brushing your fingers delicately along his pink cheek. ‘Hi. Hi there.’

He was no longer crying, just staring up in pure astonishment at the various faces staring back at him.

‘Y/N, he’s beautiful,’ Clint said, tissue already in hand.

‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ you spoke softly.

‘Do we have a name?’

It was like everyone said it in unison. ‘Steve.’

You snuggled into the bed and Natasha’s sweater, somewhat aware of the doctor still fixing you up down there. You would try feeding later, but for now your newborn needed to be passed around the group and be awed at.

You carefully guided him to Bucky, holding his head gently in your palm. Bucky took him, arms instinctively curling in the correct position. Once Bucky had him in his arms, it was like everything that happened in the world was worth it. Absolutely everything.

Bucky watched in fascination as the baby curled deeper in his chest, little fist clutching Steve’s sweatshirt. He took the sweetest little intake of air…

xxMoni

#steve rogers x reader #avengers x reader #angst fanfic #happy ending #avengers x you #captainsimagines #platonic relationships #pregnancy fanfic #marvel fanfiction #by Moni #one shot #avengers oneshot #trigger warnings listed

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makeste · 3 years

Text

BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet

Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(・。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.

so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk

anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are

OH NO HE’S CUTE

HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

“thanks for being all right” the fuck

who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this

how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here

guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready

anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY

LMAOOOOO

listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things

anyways!!

FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw

STOP BEING CUTE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES

and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT

OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.

BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE

YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY

I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code

:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you

FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION

but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji

so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you

oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck

actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE

WOW DABI

I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM

LOL NEVERMIND

gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped

(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)

HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE

WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT

btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun

OOF

excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE

ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??

AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???

and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it

are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??

that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!

anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights

I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol

so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...

OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH

Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON

NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!

looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now

you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols

anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top

and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way

anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”

omfg. YOU GUYS

DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD

ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM

BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE

IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS

HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO

LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!

so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”

OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD

ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE

AHHHHH

OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH

lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --

BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC

y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...

°˖✧◝(￣▿￣)◜✧˖°

#bnha 291 #dabi #todoroki touya #endeavor #todoroki shouto #best jeanist #hawks #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #you guys know that scene from the end of the lion king #the part where simba is walking up to the top of pride rock #and he lets out that roar as zimmer's score soars to a crescendo #yeah baby #that's the mood rn #welcome back king

473 notes · View notes

mcdannomoment · 3 years

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finale feelings

Okay, I have a ton of feelings about the finale, and now that I’ve had some time to think them through, I’ll write them. Please be kind, I’ve seen the series once only, I’m really tired, and I’m sure this was all said before.

Okay firstly let’s just put aside Catherine as a character in and of herself… that whole thing made no sense. Catherine never showed an inkling of having the sort of skills to decode anything, much less being one of only two people in the world who could decode a thing. That was silly and just an excuse to get her back on Steve’s radar. Not to mention that Catherine just never showed much interest in Steve. I’ll come back to Catherine later as she stands as an external prop for Steve’s character, but I think we can just leave it here that Catherine’s character, for herself, made 0 sense.

Let’s focus on Steve.

Steve broke my heart this episode. The worst part is that I don’t think what he did was actually OOC. Steve has a pretty long and uncomfortable history of putting his own needs over Danny’s, starting from when he first met him and forced him to be his partner. I get where Steve was coming from, but this whole army commander take what I need for the mission attitude is the whole problem. Consulting Danny even as a courtesy never entered Steve’s mind.

(more below cut)

Steve just does this with Danny continually throughout the series, like leaving him with a letter to run off chasing Shelburne. Again, he doesn’t bother even consulting Danny as a courtesy before he leaves. He has an objective, Danny doesn’t fit that objective except to keep his seat warm in 5-0. He honestly just never gives Danny even basic autonomy, from things like choosing his lunch for him right through to putting him in situations he’s not comfortable with. Sometimes Steve pushing Danny is definitely a good thing since Danny does get paralyzed by fear (the incident where Steve pushed Danny into jumping across the building gap springs to mind; if they hadn’t have done that they would have died) but sometimes it’s just more of Steve has an objective to achieve, and Danny is a means to achieve that objective (the skydiving incident).

I don’t mean to slam Steve’s character, and I’ve known quite a lot of people like this! They’re good people, they just need a lot more emotional development. Between the two of them I think Danny’s a lot more emotionally mature and empathetic, and they’re quite good for each other in many ways. But Steve is very selfish, in the sense that his focus is always on himself. What he wants, what his objective is, how the things around him make him feel. With where Steve’s head is at, I don’t think he fully and completely understands Danny as an individual human being with his own needs. Hell, he even bullies Danny into including him in his retirement plan and abandoning said retirement plan.

With Steve’s focus always within his own head, and the people around him established as tools he can use to achieve his own ends, I can really start to understand Steve’s severe control issues in season 10 in particular. His mother dying was what sealed his fate, really. I think it was really the first time a person close to Steve fully used their own initiative and choice to go against what Steve said, and Steve trying to force his mother to do what he wanted and become a controllable force in his self-directed life ended up getting her killed. And that screwed him up badly. I don’t think he fully processed his role in his mother’s death properly. He ends up dumping Danny, who is really the love of his life, saying he needs time for himself, that he’d spent a decade saving everyone else. In reality I think Steve is just spiralling from loss of control. He tries to regain some control by cutting out the more unpredictable variables: the other people in his life.

Then Danny gets kidnapped and tortured. This is obviously devastating for Steve, because Danny really is the love of his life. And Steve kind of loses it, but he loses it in a very interesting way. Steve gives up all control to Daiyu Mei. He doesn’t even entertain not letting her control the situation. Danny’s been in danger before, but Steve has never given up control so completely like this before.

Steve’s really broken by this. And it’s the hardest he’s ever taken Danny getting hurt. Because I think he’s less broken by Danny getting hurt as much as it is leftover trauma from his mother’s death and spiralling loss of control.

He winds up leaving Danny when Danny can hardly move and must have only just been released from the hospital, and isn’t that a dick move. He claims he’s going to “find himself” but I think he’s just running away from people in order to regain a sense of control. He can’t control other people. He couldn’t control Danny being taken or his mother making the choices she did in Mexico. If he’s alone, he can gain full control over the situation.

And Danny? Well, Steve sort of has him trapped. Danny can’t leave - he has a son, it’s implied Steve gave him his dog to look after and possibly his house, and while he’s injured Danny can’t go and get himself into dangerous situations that Steve feels the need to save him from. Danny sort of becomes an ornament in Steve’s home ready to welcome him when he comes back. Steve’s been on record several times being pretty aggressive about Danny staying in Hawaii, but he’s never shown remorse for leaving himself, and he doesn’t here.

I hate to characterise Danny as Steve’s “wife” but that’s the dynamic I get from them. You see it so often in married couples, particularly married couples where the husband has to travel for work, whether that’s military, mining, corporate, trucking, what have you. The husband has his goal, his life, and he sees his wife as someone to support that and make it happen. This is exactly what happened in my own family, as I had a travelling father. His need to fulfil himself drove him away again and again, and my mother, trapped where she was by children and the obligations her husband abandoned her to deal with, was left to clean up his mess. It’s what happens when the husband is selfish in the way Steve is - the emotionally more mature wife has to clean up the parts of his life he won’t deal with. In Steve’s case Danny is left with a bullet hole, a dog, a house full of ghosts, and a lot of mourning friends. Not to mention the kids Steve abandons. And there must be more too. Steve leaves a week after Danny is shot. That really doesn’t leave much time for Steve to get his affairs in order. I think he left Danny to clean up his emotional mess.

Minus the bullet hole, I’ve seen my mother go through very similar things. And it can destroy your sense of self. You end up living for the ghost of your husband as he pursues what he perceives as his destiny. It’s a really shitty thing but it’s so common. Every family I know with a travelling husband ended up like this.

Back to Catherine. As established Catherine as her own character makes no sense at all. But Catherine’s role in the finale as an extension of Steve’s character does make some sense. Steve is running away from his stable family, the love of his life, his role as a parent to Nahele, Grace, and Charlie - he’s running from all the progress he has made, because he is afraid of losing control the way he did when he lost his mother, and when Danny was taken from him. Catherine is safe. She’s Steve’s easy emotional release and fuck buddy. She’s familiar. And she’s basically Steve’s mother. A flaky CIA agent who always picks the job over Steve is far more familiar and therefore comforting to him than a stable family life with Danny. In his panic Steve runs from all the progress he has made back to Catherine.

It actually reminds me a lot of a wonderful fic I read, the love that you gave by Teeelsie. I never thought I’d read a cheating fic, let alone a McDanno cheating fic, because McDanno is my all time OTP, but this fic was highly recommended and wow, did it nail it. The fic is more about Steve’s internalised homophobia, but I think the way it relates to the show is in how Steve panics and goes back to the familiar. Back to Catherine. It’s a common thing just in life. It’s also extremely common for these travelling husbands that I think characterise Steve to be cheating on their wives, too. Now I’m just pretending Catherine wasn’t there, because it makes no sense for her to be there (jfc, she wasn’t a codebreaker and how did she know he would be on the plane anyway, and was she just sitting in transit in Honolulu waiting for Steve to get on the plane like a stalker) but I think there’s an element of “emotional cheating” to what Steve’s going through when he runs away from the emotional risk that is staying with Danny at the end.

So basically I don’t think Steve running off was OOC. I think it was very in character. What was so frustrating was that the story clearly isn’t over. Running away will not solve Steve’s many issues, and he really does need Danny - and Danny needs him. Steve desperately needs to learn to stop being so selfish and see Danny and the others as full and complete human beings with their own complex needs. It’s tough because Steve pushing Danny was very good for Danny in many respects, so I want to see them learn to thread that line where Danny doesn’t get treated like an emotional doormat, but he also isn’t allowed to just retreat to the safety of familiarity all the time either - he needs a little McGarrett magic in his life!

But after what Danny told Steve when they were stuck in the building collapse, it’s going to be hard for them after this. Danny doesn’t have to look at Steve and imagine him leaving him any longer. Danny now has the memory of it.

tl;dr Steve is a whacked out, certifiable control freak.

#hawaii five 0 #h50 #mcdanno #steve mcgarrett #danny williams #meta #sorry for word vomit #you've probably heard all this before #i'm new okay

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jbuffyangel · 3 years

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Something To Live For: Arrow 1x10 Review (Burned)

I’m back!

There’s a significant time difference between my 1x09 review and this review. No, I did not take a six year long holiday break. It just became too difficult to complete the Season 1 reviews the summer prior to Season 4. So, I decided to complete Season 1 and Season 2 reviews once Arrow was off air.

This means I have not watched 1x10-1x23 in eight years. I nearly forgot everything. Is L*urel still in this show?

She sure is.

“Burned” is the first real snoozer of Season 1, which kind of sets up the tradition of episode 10-15 slumps Arrow suffered nearly every season. This has less to do with Arrow and more to do with it being a twenty three episode series. There’s gonna be some filler.

This episode still holds significant meaning to me though because it contains the SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR speech. This is my favorite John Diggle speech, which is why I named my blog after it. It is also the first time Arrow declares their mission statement.

Let’s dig in...

Oliver and Diggle

The bad guy plot is the worst part of “Burned,” so let’s just cut to the chase. There was a terrible fire in Starling City years ago. The fire chief recalled his unit but one of his men, Garfield Lynns, insisted the building could be saved. The chief refused to send in any more men and as a result Lynns died. Except, this is Arrow and nobody stays dead. Lynns is alive, ticked, insane and burning firefighters, which leads to Joanna’s brother (a firefighter) getting killed.

Cool? Cool. Moving on.

Oliver is having difficulty coping with the fact the Dark Archer kicked his ass all the way back to the stone age. It was a somewhat embarrassing loss and Oliver’s body wasn’t the only thing bruised. We are gifted a very lovely training sequences of a half naked and very sweaty Oliver Queen to show he is recovered, so his hesitancy isn’t physical. It is mental.

Source: @olivergifs

Oliver is having a crisis of confidence and is avoiding suiting up like the plague.

Diggle: This guy, the other archer, he got in your head. He took something from you … he took whatever’s in your heart that lets you jump off buildings and take down bad guys.

Oliver worked for every skill he has. It was not gifted by a bolt of lightning. He does not come from an alien planet. Oliver is a weapon honed over time, which includes his superpower.

Oliver Queen does not fear dying.

That’s the “whatever” in his heart which gives him the confidence to jump off buildings. This superpower was honed after five years of fighting for survival. Oliver almost died so many times he’s built some kind of emotional immunity to it. It doesn’t freak him out like it would the rest of us.

The darker side of this superpower is Oliver doesn’t care if he lives or dies. Season 1 Oliver Queen is very fatalistic. He’s not suicidal, but he’s accepted death is the price he may have to pay in order to complete his mission. More importantly, he is drowning in guilt and believes death is the ending he deserves.

There’s rigidity in everything about Oliver �� from his beliefs to even the way he moves. His posture is rod iron straight and there’s very little movement in his upper body and arms. It’s a physical manifestation of his PTSD. It’s like he’s encased in a brick wall, a tomb of suffering, which makes it difficult to breathe or move. It’s like the act of living is physically painful.

The problem is - Oliver came home and it is having an unexpected emotional impacted on him. He’s been laser focused on this mission, but bit by bit, the feelings he’s long since buried are resurfacing. Moira, Thea, Tommy, Diggle, Laurel (AND FELICITY) are chipping away at this brick wall. Oliver didn’t adopt this machine like persona because he doesn’t feel anything. It’s because he feels so much, which means even the small holes in this wall are having a profound impact on him.

This all leads to the greatest John Diggle speech in history! Yes, I say that knowing full well Diggle has spectacular speeches throughout the series, but this will always be my favorite because it’s such a universal theme.

We all must have something that makes life worth living. This “something” is not limited to romantic love. It can be family, or work or a cause – basically whatever makes you get out of bed every day. It doesn’t have to be just one thing either. In fact, I hope you find many things/people to live for because that means you are living a full and connected life. By that same token, if you don’t have something to live for then you’re not really living. You just exist.

Or in Oliver’s case - survive. He’s known nothing but survival for the last five years. I think he absolutely cares for Yao Fei, Shado and Slade, but that’s exactly why Oliver shut down. He did care for people and it led to nothing but heartache, betrayal and loss. So, Oliver decided to be done with all that and has worked very hard to keep his loved ones at a distance ever since returning home.

He’s been extremely successful at it in many ways because Oliver refuses to share who he really is with anyone outside of John Diggle. So, that’s why it had to be John Diggle to tell him that it was okay to feel again.

Oliver: I’ve been close to death on the island more times than I can remember and I never feared it. Because I had nothing to lose. But when that archer almost killed me, when I stared death in the face then, I thought about all the people I’ve let into my life since I’ve been back – my family, Laurel, Tommy. And that made me afraid. Afraid of what would happen to those people if they lost me. Again. And for the first time in so long I had something to lose.

Oliver may not fear death, but he does fear what his death will mean to those who love him. Like I said earlier - Oliver is not suicidal. If that was true he wouldn’t have fought so hard to survive the island, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to live. He’s far from it. But this is the first time in a long time Oliver cared whether or not he died. And that scares him.

Diggle: Maybe you’ve got it backwards Oliver. You think the people you’ve let in have taken your edge. I think it gives you one. Maybe a stronger one even. You can stare down death with something to live for or not. SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR is better.

That’s endgame folks. Oliver’s story is about a man learning to live again. He will collect more and more people/things that he cares about as he walks this road, which means there is more to lose. Losing his life is far preferable than losing someone he loves again. Oliver can tolerate a great deal of physical pain. It’s the emotional pain that scares the crap out of him. This is why he fights tooth and nail to keep emotions at a distance. It just hurts too much.

Opening our heart to others often means opening our hearts to pain, but that’s not the only side of love. It brings happiness and contentment too. You take the good with the bad. Diggle is trying to open Oliver’s heart to the good.

Is Oliver alive? Or is he just breathing? The answers to those questions make all the difference in the world. A difference Diggle knows will make Oliver an unbeatable weapon.

Lynns: I'm not afraid to die

Oliver: I know. You're afraid to live.

COULD IT BE A PARALLEL?

Methinks yes. It’s interesting “Burned” revolves around fire. Fire is where Oliver’s story began. Lian Yu was about purification, but it was also a rebirth.

A rebirth we see expanding as Oliver opens up his heart. A fire is lit from within our hero and it’s growing beyond penance, justice and retribution to hope, passion and enlightenment. Oliver Queen is finding reasons to live again. And it will make all the difference for his survival.

L*urel L*nce

If you sense I have less patience with L*urel’s character in Seasons 1 and Season 2 than I did in Season 3 and Season 4 then you’d be right. My opinions on this character changed radically so I’m coming into Season 1 and Season 2 reviews with a Season 8 perspective on L*urel.

Tommy wants a drawer. That’s all. A drawer. Tommy Merlyn is a simple man. Doesn’t take a lot to make him happy. He even wrote a list explaining all the reasons he deserves and needs a drawer. We never see the list, but I’d imagine it looks something like this:

I AM HUMAN PERFECTION.

I did not sleep with your sister.

I am asking for a drawer rather than run screaming to the North China Sea with above referenced sister.

I make you omelets.

I make your character moderately tolerable which is a miracle in of itself.

I could continue, but you get the idea. What’s absolutely ludicrous is OLIVER gives L*UREL relationship advice.

Oliver: Well we're friends.

Me: Oliver, my son, NO YOU ARE NOT.

At least she had the common sense to scoff at Oliver’s friendly attempt to intervene on Tommy’s behalf. (Seriously, dude just stay out of it. This is wildly inappropriate.)

L*urel was ready to move in with Oliver (even though she knew he cheated on her regularly), but freaks at faithful Tommy requesting armoire access. JFC this woman is a dating disaster zone.

L*urel: I don’t take things slow remember? I close my eyes and I jump just like you.

My initial reaction to this speech is to call it nonsense.

I thought this was a case of Arrow telling rather than showing with L*urel’s character. However, upon further contemplation I have reversed my opinion.

L*urel may be a pragmatic attorney on the surface, but we have watched her run the gamut of human emotions week to week. So much so it’s difficult to get a read on the character the writers are trying to construct. (Spoiler alert: they don’t know what kind of character they are trying to construct). One week she loves Oliver. The next week she’s condemning him to hell. L*urel L*nce’s feelings definitely control her.

She has been reckless too, working outside the law, by contacting the vigilante for assistance. A relationship she resumes after telling her father in 1x09 that The Hood is a killer with no remorse. See what I’m saying about the ever changing emotional spectrum?

I’m not saying L*urel having emotions and expressing them is bad. That’s a healthier reaction than what Oliver is doing, but she has been all over the map. It’s less about who L*urel is as a character and more about the writers needing her to react a certain way to make the episode work.

Oliver likes to present himself as a cool cucumber, but he has a rather unpleasant temper too. It may seem like he’s emotionless, but that is just a façade. It’s a cover for the torrent of emotions he keeps at bay.

Laurel: I think that’s why we spooked each other. Our feelings, our fears, they control us. Not the other way around.

L*urel’s “spooking each other” statement is a big line of bull, which we’ll find out later in the season. L*urel was not spooked by Oliver. She was the furthest thing from spooked, which is why she asked him to move in with her.

Oliver wasn’t spooked either. Anytime I reflect on L*uriver I’m reminded of a scene from Sex in the City. Oliver isn’t freaked out by his feelings. He’s just not that into you, L*urel.

The process in which we get OLIVER to realize this and admit it to himself will take much longer, but I can be patient. It’s time will come.

But do I think these two characters are similar? YES. They are too similar in fact. It’s one of the main reasons they don’t work as a couple. This is exactly why Tommy and Felicity are perfect for L*urel and Oliver. They need someone steady to temper their emotions.

They need someone happy to balance out their anger. They need someone with a bright light in order to find their own.

It’s also worth noting that Tommy was ready to run into a burning building to save Oliver so GIVE HIM A DAMN DRAWER L*UREL.

Stray Thoughts

Flashbacks were kind of boring. Fyers kidnaps Yao Fei. Oliver saves his own life by accident. Meh

Thea calling Moira out was long overdue. This kid needs a parent ASAP.

Everyone's fall clothing is really adorable.

JUST UNBUTTON THE FRACKIN BUTTON OLLIE.

Merlyn kidnapped Walter right? Or Moira? I seriously don't remember. I don’t think I care either. lol

L*urel: I am not the best example of healthy grieving.

LL has a rare moment of self awareness, which is lovely.

Oliver: I heard what you said to your father. That I'm a killer with no remorse.

L*urel: Do you?

Me: You impertinent little snot.

I like Joanna much better than L*urel and I wished she stayed, but removing Joanna from the show is the first step the writers took to limit L*urel's role. The shift is upon us.

Not to be unsympathetic, but Moira is starting to rack up the dead husbands.

Thea fantasizing that Walter is cheating on Moira with a stewardess as the hopeful pitch is YIKES. Goodness this show could be dark.

Musings of the Kiddo

Kiddo: Yeah! He's actually putting his family first!

Me: Settle down. It doesn't last long.

Kiddo: I thought L*urel was gonna find out.

Me: Oh my sweet summer child.

Disclaimer: Any gifs on the blog are not mine. If you would like a gif removed from my reviews, please message me.

If you’d like to support the blog, please buy me a cup of tea!

#arrow #arrow 1x10 #arrow rewatch #oliver queen #john diggle #oliver and diggle #anti laurel lance #merlance #arrow season 1 #arrow season 1 review #arrow review #arrow reviews #arrow season 1 reviews #season 1 review #season 1 episode review #season 1 reviews #season 1 episode reviews #arrow fandom #anti lauriver

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gladiatortale · 3 years

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My DEPRESSION BEATING, fandom obsessing, shit-tastic FANTASTIC year in review!

TL;DR: I’m fixing my mental health and figuring out WHO THE FUCK I AM one fandom filled day at a time! Thank you to everyone who’s been there for me along the way. xoxo

what’s up HEATHENS.

stating the goddamn obvious here, it’s been a HELLUVA YEAR. One emotional rollercoaster after another but we’re ALMOST DONE. I know things aren’t gonna magically get better the second it flips to 00:01 on January first, but I’m excited to put this year behind me, and (SHOCKINGLY) a bit sad to see it go.

It was a year where the whole world completely stopped, we realized what is really important, what is really worth fighting for, and took a GODDAMN SECOND to just breathe.

For me personally, the year (which I’m counting off from November 1st) started out UNBELIEVABLY SHIT. I had just been kicked out of the country I called home for the last four years (thank you Brexit), I had ZERO job prospects, my depression was the WORST it had ever been, and I just didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. And in the beginning, the pandemic felt like salt in the wound, an extra kick in the teeth to my early twenties that had already “failed to launch.”

But I tried to embrace the madness, really take advantage of the world (that I always thought moved to fast) properly slowing down, and take time to try and become myself again. I wanted to figure out what I loved and try and become a bit more like the person I was before my depression got so bad.

I often say I became that Manic Trash Planet Lady™ you see in sci-fi adventure films; a bit zany to say the least, with a million ideas and a very eclectic fashion sense, but embracing the insanity as it comes...

*cough cough* audrey, get to the goddamn point!

Right. lol. THE POINT IS!

I’m not 100% “healed”, I’m not sure if I think depression is a “oh look you’re officially cured! hooray!” type of disease, but this year I let myself ENJOY SHIT for the first time in god knows how long. I still don’t know “wHaT i WaNt To dO WiTh mY LiFe”, but I’ve got a better idea and I’m heading in (what feels like) the right direction. And most of all, I can look back and say I am better than where I was a year ago.

So I wanted to say T H A N K Y O U to the mad lads on this website that introduced me to the fandoms, shows, movies, fics... THE SHIT that made me happy this year and were there to be one (BIG) piece in my healing journey.

AND SO, with out further rambling ADO! Here are the highlights of the year marked by my ridiculous hyper-fixations and OBSESSIONS. Thanks for putting up with me ya fiends, xoxox

November 2019 The Arcana (Visual Novel)

I had just gotten home and I was in a LOOOOOOW place. Randomly decided to download this app when it came up and it proceeded to ruin my life (and my bank account...) for pretty much the rest of the year. It was exactly what I needed to get me through a tough time and I was thoroughly, horse-blinders-up-to-the-rest-of-the-world, OBSESSED. These gorgeous magical fiends ruined me and all I could say was thank you.

Joined the fandom: November 2019 Obsession peaked: Late November Obsession faded: December 2019; I started a new job AND my bank statement came in and I realized I had accidentally spent over SIXTY BUCKS on this stupid app. No ragrets, but I definitely started to phase out at that point. Fandom friends: Velma, (@lanavxds on insta) miss you girlie xx Fanfics you NEED to read: ‘Second Mistake’ by DeathBelle on AO3, because DAAAAAYUM SON. Favourite moments: Basically the whole of the Julian arc. That gangly himbo OWNED my ass for a month.

December 2019 Hazbin Hotel (TV Series)

Y’ALL okay here me out. Am I proud of this one? No. Is the show crass as hell? OOOOOOOOHHHH YEAH. Did my angsty ass love it at the end of last year? DAMN STRAIGHT IT DID. Goes without saying, but this is NOT FOR EVERYBODY, but it definitely helped me along the way to becoming more comfortable with myself and being open about being the massive geek that I always was, and watching things I enjoy regardless of what people say about it.

Joined the fandom: December 2019 Obsession peaked: Shortly there after. Fandom friends: None. Dipped one toe in fandom discourse and then promptly YEETED the fuck outta there. Obsession faded: January 2019. Still curious to see the full series if A24 actually ever does produce the whole thing, but I have def moved away from it. Fanfics you NEED to read: Haven’t read any. Maybe I’m a pussy baby piece-o-shit, but I DID NOT want to go down that rabbit hole, NO MA’AM. Favourite moments:

Discovering the Hunicast podcast. These guys are a riot and Ashley is a flustered GEM. Even if you don’t watch the show, go watch an episode of these fucking LADS just dicking about and your day will get better.

Watching the first episode with my partner and watching him realize his girlfriend is a total freak.

January 2020 Lore Olympus (Webtoon Comic)

*Officially* discovered this one thanksgiving weekend in 2019, but my Arcana phase was still raging pretty strong at that point so I didn’t really get in to it until later. EVERYBODY AND THEIR MOTHER NEEDS TO READ IT. It has everything and handles the reality sexual assault and it’s aftermath EXTREMELY well.

Joined the fandom: Late November 2019 Obsession peaked: January 2020 Fandom friends: KELLEY. MA GIRL XOXOXO Obsession faded: June-ish 2020. I’m like 10 chapters behind now, but I still love this story so much. Fanfics you NEED to read: SO MANY ON MY ‘MARKED FOR LATER’ LIST AAAAAH. I have to get to that... NEW YEARS RESOLUTION lol Favourite moments: Having a drunk conversation on New Years Eve in 2019 with one of my oldest friends from high school about how much she loved it too. Helped me see how popular fandom and fandoms, are especially after feeling like I needed to hide my enthusiasm through high school and uni. (THAT WAS A MISTAKE BUT I’LL GET THERE IN A MINUTE).

February 2020 Versailles (TV Series)

SO FUCKING GAY Y’ALL. Oh my god everyone in this show is so gay. Even when they’re not they still are a little bit. AND BEST OF ALL!! it’s very historically accurate (except for the demon satanic nonsense in season 3, what was that???)

Joined the fandom: February 2020 Obsession peaked: Like??? The SECOND I finished episode one. Fandom friends: none... WHERE ARE ALL OF YOU??? Obsession faded: March 2020. It was a fast and passionate love affair, what can I say? Fanfics you NEED to read: IF YOU HAVE RECS, GIVE ‘EM TO MEEEEE. Favourite moments:

Showing the first episode to a friend of mine and the *ungodly GASP* that came out of her throat was... PRICELESS.

The ENTIRE throuple(???) relationship between the Chevalier, Philipe, and Palatine. PLATONIC/ ROMANTIC LOVE G O A L S.

March 2020 Yuri!!! On Ice (TV Series)

*deep breath* ...y’all knew this one was coming.

Was I ready for this show to ruin my fucking life? No. Am I so glad it happened??? FUCK YEAH.

NEVER IN MY LIFE have I fallen off the deep end so quickly with a fandom. HOLY SHIT. This blog didn’t have much of an “identity” before, but I you said that this is a Yuri On Ice blog now I wouldn’t even be mad (nor could I really defend myself to the contrary... bc??? like??? just go LOOK at my archive). Craziest thing is I watched the first two episodes like?? a solid TWO YEARS ago, but I didn’t continue watching because I was just not in the right head space for all the love and silliness and positivity.

I could do a whole separate post about how much this show and how this fandom has changed my life (DON’T TEMPT ME I JUST MIGHT). But I’ll stick with the highlights for now ;)

Joined the fandom: March 2020 Obsession peaked: Has it peaked?? Went straight up and it still going lol Fandom friends: Sandra, my mentor, my queen @aeriamamaduck, my fandom ride-or-die. Thank you for taking this internet bby under your wing. RACHEL @idancewiththefairies I TRAPPED YOU HERE. MUAHAHAHA xxx Obsession faded: ON GOING. CAN’T STOP, WON’T STOP. Fanfics you NEED to read: jfc, SO MANY.

‘Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches’ and ‘Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts’ by Reiya @kazliin -- Rivals AU companion pieces. Longest fics I’ve ever read and JESUS CHRIST these two fucking SENT ME. Most popular YOI fics on AO3 for a REASON.

‘Tell Me Where Your Love Lies’ by @aeriamamaduck -- Royalty AU, trope-breaking ABO. Ah sweet, TMWYLL, how you’ve killed me over and over again. This BEAUTIFUL wip has SUCH amazing world-building idk where to start (Congrats on passing 50,000 hits!) EVERYONE GO READ IT.

‘Blackbird’ by sixpences -- WWII/Coldwar Spy Fic. I don’t have enough words to describe how amazing this is. It��s elevated to a higher plane beyond fanfic. Just go read it. Thank me later.

‘Zanka’ by rinsled05 @dreaming-fireflies -- The geisha fic that ruined me. *deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH *gasp* I’m fine. lol I sooooo not ready for this fic. Holy hell, Aoyagi had my heart in his hands from the first chapter. “’Please’ [...] ‘Don’t give me hope.’“ FUUUUCK.

‘Echoes’ by Reiya @kazliin -- Future fic. First fic I cried at... BOI. I was NOT ready for this. Shouldn’t be surprised given the author, but MAN. “‘A love like that, a love like what they had together, it never leaves completely.’ Yuri spoke again, eyes still staring out onto the ice, lost in memory. ‘There are always echoes.’” JUST FUCK ME UP.

Favourite moments: Oh good lord, where do I begin??

Having two (count ‘em TWO) main characters with mental health issues (Yuuri and his anxiety and Victor with burn out and depression) and NOT MAKING IT THE ONLY ASPECT OF THEIR PERSONALITY. CLAPS FOR KUBO AND YAMAMOTO!!

Everything about Yurio (ESPECIALLY HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH YUUKO AND HIS GRANDPA), that tsundere motherfucker is too pure for this world.

THE KISS. THE PROPOSAL. MY HEART WASN’T READY. AAAAAH!!

This fandom *properly* introducing me to smut on AO3...

Thinking I was going to get Rachel to like the show... NOT being prepared for her to fall off the deep end and START LIKING REAL SKATING TOO!!

Staying up waaaaaay too late waaaaaay too often to plan out plot points for TMWYLL with Sandra. Love ya dearie.

The warm fuzzy feeling I get every time I think about Victor and Yuuri.

April 2020 Bungou Stray Dogs (TV Series)

I had a hunch I was gonna like this show considering ALL of the characters are based off of famous classic authors from around the world... what I was NOT prepared for was just HOW MUCH I was going to love it. HOLY SHIT. The art style? Love it. The plot?? Bonkers, but so fun. THE VOICE CAST??? AMAZING. Highly recommend to anyone who wants to get in to anime, great place to start.

Joined the fandom: April 2020 Obsession peaked: Probably this summer? But we have DEF plateaued in a VERY high place. Fandom friends: FIJI. MA BOIIIII @lil-1nsane Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Hope it doesn’t Fanfics you NEED to read: So so so many. The smut in this fandom is *chef’s kiss*, but here are a few...

‘He Works Hard For the Money’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019 -- Sugar Daddy AU. FUCK MAN. I was not expecting to like this one, but bloody hell. This fic grabbed me by the throat and WOULD NOT let me go. Praying for chapter 16! But the author is working on another STELLAR fic so I’m okay for now.

‘Everything or Nothing’ by CataclysmicEvent @cataclysmicevent2019 -- University AU. FUCK THIS FIC. Started reading it as I was waiting for HWHFTM to update and BOI, this fic ROCKS. The alternating POV fits so well with the enemies/idiots-to-lovers vibe. Solid 10 outta 10.

‘The City Where Wind Blows’ by @raven-rein -- Cancer Death fic. *pained shriek* AAAAAAGUUUUUUUHHHH *gasp* aaaaaaAAAAAAHHHHHHHH, FUUUCCCCCCCCCKKKK MEEEEE. THIS FIC. Only the second fic I’ve ever cried to but I BAWLED MY GODDAMN EYES OUT. FUUUUUUUCK. I was not ready, never would have been ready. This is so tremendously well done, it killed me so beautifully,

‘Haunted by Hatred’ by DeathBelle -- Canon compliant Soukoku. It is a CRIME that DeathBelle doesn’t have more BSD fics on her page, but this one is still brilliant.

Favourite moments:

THE CHUUYA-DAZAI MAFIA REUNION TEAM UP WHEN THEY FIGHT LOVECRAFT. Ooof. BOI. We love it.

The first three episodes. Soooo many break neck plot twists.

Every insane hypothetical conversation with Fiji.

Every time Atsushi or Tanizaki is on screen bc I LOVE THESE LIL BEANS.

June 2020 Trash Taste (Podcast)

Goddamn I love these chaotic lads so much.

As I became more and more comfortable with myself and my love for anime I stumbled upon these three goons, -- Joey, Connor, and Garnt, -- best known for there SUPER successful (mostly) anime YouTube channels. Even if you don’t watch anime, WATCH/LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST. The focus is mostly on their lives and the overall expat/immigrant experience, with a bit of anecdotal anime references sprinkled in.

This show is both wholesome and heathenous in equal measure, and after having lived abroad for a significant portion of my (admittedly still quite short) life, it was such a breath of fresh air to hear people talk so openly about how living outside your home country is both wonderful and terrifying. They’re wonderfully candid about the fact that even if you love a place dearly, no where is perfect, and you WILL hate somethings about your new home even if the majority of the experience is fantastic. I cannot rate this show highly enough.

Joined the fandom: June 5th 2020, loved it from the first episode. Obsession peaked: July maybe? I was RELIGIOUS about watching the episodes as soon as they came out. Still watch every week, but less “on time.” Fandom friends: None :( but I have tricked my partner in to listening several times :) Obsession faded: It’s dimmed from where it was, but still going strong. Fanfics you NEED to read: NONE. NEVER PLAN TO. Hard and fast rule, I don’t read fics about real people. Characters played by real people, even that’s a maybe for me. But real-real people? FUCK NO. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Any time Garnt and Connor get into a big-brain-monkey-brain argument and Joey is just LOSING his GODDAMN MIND in the corner.

Bringing a retired Japanese porn star in the show for an honest conversation about consensual sex work and showing people can have more than one career in life.

Everything about the, ‘Are Online Friends Real Friends?’ episode. GO WATCH IT, it’s brilliant.

Garnt making “chotto-THE-FUCKING-matte” an expression

August 2020 Great Pretender (TV Series)

Spent most of the summer marinating in my BSD and YOI bubbles, until THIS BAD BOI came up on my Netflix recommendations. HOOOO BOI. This is some Anime Of The Year shit right here. Has a pretty original concept (Catch Me If You Can by way of Oceans 11-ish) but generally starts out like most other shounen (sans the super powers). AND THEN EPISODE FIVE HAPPENS. Not gonna spoil it but they TOOK THAT SHIT UP A NOTCH. Brilliant, even with a bit of an insane ending. GO WATCH THIS ONE.

Joined the fandom: August 2020 Obsession peaked: Pretty much as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: What’s up Fiji ;) @lil-1nsane Obsession faded: Naturally faded, but so glad I watched Fanfics you NEED to read: None so far! Little scared about this one, heard mixed reviews, but maybe someday. Favourite moments:

Edamame’s “madness arc” at the end of season 2. HOOOO BOY.

Laurent getting fucking WRECKED when Edamame punches him mid way through season 2, kills me every time.

Introducing my partner to anime with this show.

October 2020 Attack on Titan (TV Series)

RETURN OF THE KING. lol

In my quest to find an anime that I can watch with my partner, I turned on season 1 of this bad boi. Holy hell I forgot how much I loved this show, NO WONDER everyone lost their goddamn minds when this show first aired. I NEED to catch up before all the season four spoilers come to get me...

Joined the fandom: Winter 2016 Obsession peaked: Basically as soon as I started watching it. Fandom friends: None yet, but I know you’re out there... Obsession faded: 2017, JUST BEFORE SEASON TWO... I should have stuck around longer I know, but it’s slowly coming back. Reeeeeally need to catch up on seasons two, three, and four. Fanfics you NEED to read: GIVE ME YOUR RECS HEATHENS. Favourite moments:

Watching my partner FREAK OUT about Eren’s “death.”

EVERYTHING ABOUT POTATO GORL! lol

Getting in a conversation with a die hard fan after I hadn’t watched it in three years and saying... “Who’s that blond bitch that cries all the time?”/ “Armin?”/ “THAT’S THE ONE!”

November 2020... kind of. Figure Skating (Sport)

Okay this one is a bit hard to explain.

I have been a DIE HARD figure skating for A LOOOOOONG time. My grandmother got me a hat from the 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City and I remember watching even then. But I first became consciously aware of different skaters, my faves, etc. from about 2010. I vividly remember watching Plushenko skating in 2014 while on a school trip to Hawaii, and my friends laughing at me as I yelled at the TV.

But I didn’t TRULY get involved in the fandom side of it until this year. I had all this knowledge bottled up, but didn’t have any skating friends to talk to... UNTIL NOW. Super ironic that this happened in a year with almost NO skating, but I’ll take what I can get ;) Also did I stay up until FOUR-GODDAMN-THIRTY IN THE MORNING a few nights ago to stream Japanese Nationals on my phone??? YOU BET I DID.

Joined the fandom: Three times; 2002, 2010, and 2020. Obsession peaked: 2014? 2018? Idk it peaks any time someone does something amazing. Fandom friends: Rachel, my girl @idancewiththefairies, WHY DIDN’T I INTRODUCE YOU TO THIS SOONER??? Obsession faded: Hasn’t. Won’t. lol Fanfics you NEED to read: NOPE. NONE. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. No fanfics about real people. Never gonna change that. (some of my) Favourite moments:

Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir doing THAT routine at the 2018 Olympics.

Rachel sheepishly admitting to me that Shoma may have replaced Yuzu as her favourite, and me being SO DAMN PROUD of her for growing and developing her own skating opinions apart from me.

Yuzu’s 2012 ‘Romeo and Juliet’ routine and Worlds. THE RAW FUCKING POWER OF THAT SKATE.

Plushenko, cheeky bastard, changing his 2014 Team Event routine AS IT WAS HAPPENING.

The worlds friendliest rivalry between Yuzu and Nathan.

Any thing the Shibutani’s do, and all they do to break up the stereotype that all of Ice Dancing has to be rOmAnTiC and SeNsUaL to be good.

Watching my early faves become coaches and the D R A M A.

Honorable Mentions:

Coco (Film): I watched this the weekend I came home and I owe this movie a lot. It is so sweet an heartwarming, and it a roundabout way it brought me back to Tumblr (needed somewhere to vent my feelings considering I watched the movie a solid THREE YEARS after it came out, Tumblr seemed like the place to go lol). Watched in again in 2020 and it’s just as amazing.

Jekyll and Hyde (All media): Loved this book from the first time I read it in my first year of uni. But in December 2019, my fandom understanding reached its PEAK. The musical?? The comic?? YOOOOOO.

Dear Evan Hansen (Musical): I have BARELY engaged in fandom discourse, but the MUSIC. She fucking SLAPS.

Sirius the Jaeger (TV Series): This show is such an underrated gem. It literally has so much; "dead” family drama? Eclectic international group of monster hunters? Cowboys and vampires?? Yes, yes, and YES. And the main character has the same Japanese voice actor as Atsushi from BSD!

Studio Ghilbi (Films): My love affair with Ghibli goes back to when I was about 5 and BEGGED my mom to take me to the library so we could rent Kiki’s Delivery Service on DVD. But that love has been FULLY rejuvenated this year when I went to the Ghibli Film Festival in New York City (ironically in the last week in February). If you haven’t seen them, go watch From Up On Poppy Hill, Whisper of the Heart, and The Wind Rises. Spoilers, you’re probably gonna cry.

If you’ve made it this far, THANK YOU FOR READING!

And thank you to all the amazing people that made my 2020 not so horrible. Good riddance 2020, don’t let the door hit you on the way out!

#2020 #mental health #appreciation post #figure skating #studio ghibli #coco #attack on titan #great pretender #bungou stray dogs #trash taste #versailles tv #yuri!!! on ice #the arcana game #hazbin hotel #anime #fandom

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samwrights · 4 years

Note

If filter Friday is still going on...How about headcannons of a full threesome with our delinquent squad of Tanaka and Nishinoya 🥵🥵

🥵🥵🥵 oh BABY that is ALLLLLL I have to say about that. Wait, no I have to add I would let these two DESTROY me. Also, is this really hcs? I’m going with no. Do I care? Also no.

Warnings: threesome, spitroasting, DP, anal, dirty talk, poly, barebacking, cum dump???

Hahaha holy shit I wrote the warnings before the actual hc HELP. This ones long. Please get out your holy water, you’re going to need it.

Man, you had the best boyfriends in the world.

And it had nothing to do with the fact that Tanaka was balls deep in your cunt while you choked on Nishinoya’s dick.

Okay well maybe that was a huge part of it.

Outside of the bedroom, they were the most endearing, caring, loving partners you could ever wish for.

But in the bedroom.

Jfc—insatiable, salacious demons that were not satisfied until every single hole of yours was brimming with cum.

“Come on, princess, I think you can take more of me.” Noya teases as he weaves his fingers through your hair, coercing you to swallow more of his cock down your throat.

“Shit, she tightened up real good. Do that again, Nishi.” Tanaka groans, hips stuttering as you clench down on his erection. Fuck, he was so fucking close.

“Oh yeah?” The libero muses. “Like it when I fuck your throat babe?” When you don’t respond, because you can’t, Noya rams his hips as far as he can into your face, holding his dick down your throat until you can’t breathe.

“Oh fuck, that’s it baby, milk my fucking cock.” Tanaka snarls through his grinding teeth as he glues his pelvis into your ass, emptying his load into your awaiting cunt.

At the same time, Noya’s spilling his own cum down your throat, not even remotely caring about the fact that your vision is becoming spotty because you can’t breathe.

Damn, you love your boyfriends.

Carefully, steadily, the two of the pull out, allowing tiny drips of their respective emissions to dribble out from your body.

But they are far from finished.

You slump against your guys’ shared, California king mattress, already exhausted from round one.

A throaty laugh leaves the libero as he scoops up your sweaty body closer to him, leaving your head in his lap next to his semi-erect cock.

While Tanaka gladly rested his own head on your ass like a pillow, angling down to slowly watch his cum trickle out of your pussy.

“Love you guys.” You mumble out when you finally find your voice once again.

“Stay awake, princess.” Tanaka warns, delivering a painless slap again the buttcheek he’s not laying on.

“You know we aren’t finished yet, babe.” Noya adds, one of his hands trailing to your free asscheek.

His middle finger is scooting dangerously close to your crack.

“C’mon, I’m tired,” you whine, “can’t we skip this part?” The boys simply let out a laugh.

“Not a chance! You’ve gotta have your fill of me too, baby. Look, I’m already hard again!” Noya denies you chance of getting sleep. Dammit.

After nudging Tanaka away, Nishinoya props himself up with a few pillows before settling you in his lap so he can grind his erection against your already cum-soaked cunt.

When you put up no fight, Noya slid home, wrapping his arms around your torso to hold your limp body in place. “God, even after Tanaka fucked you open you’re still so tight.”

“Get her ready for me, man, I’m gonna go look for the lube.” Temporarily, the spiker leaves you in the care of your shared boyfriend and best friend.

In accordance with his boyfriend’s wishes, Noya takes a moment to smear your juices over your anus, making sure to use a finger to start lubing the inside.

It used to bother you—anal is rather uncomfortable at first. But after months and months of taking these two bullheaded dicks, literally and figuratively, you found yourself rather enjoying being stuffed to the brim.

No matter how tired you were.

“You take us so well, [name].” Yuu praises, his free hand coming to brush your sweat-laden locks away from your face. “We love you so much.”

Noya’s sweet words are contradictory of the unsavory act of two of his fingers stretching out your asshole.

Tanaka returns, bottle of water-based lubricant in hand, slathering it up and down his hardened shaft while watching his partner spread the puckered hole.

“Ready, princess?” You gave a loose, numb nod before Tanaka carefully worked himself inside your back entrance.

Goddamn, no matter how many times the three of you did this, there was no better feeling than the two of you filling you up.

“Oh my fucking god!” You whined as you sink to the bottom of both of them.

“Shit, you’re so fucking tight, I’m gonna cum again.” Tanaka sinks his teeth into his swollen lips, trying his best to stave off his already building orgasm.

After granting them reprieve for a moment by staying still, Noya cautiously guides your hips up, allowing both of them to gawk at their slick covered cocks before sinking you back down.

They needed to you relax—and while you inherently comply, a part of you debates on continuing to clench down on them just so you can rest.

“Ready?” Tanaka asks, looking over at Noya, both of their eyes entirely blown out from the pleasure. The libero gives a nod before pulling your body flush to him.

The angle allows both of them to fuck into you with full force, the heads of their cock knocking into your throat.

How the fuck did you do this every day, you wonder as Tanaka’s punishing pace stretches out your anus even further.

“Oh god, I’m gonna cum again.” The spiker howls—he just can’t keep up today. Which lowkey you’re a little thankful for.

“Yeah? Fill her up, Tanaka. Fucking paint her ass white.” That ends him entirely—Noya’s voice was a weapon.

Tanaka’s hips pause against your ass as he cums, the excessive dripping over on to the libero’s drenched cock.

Though he’s still, Nishinoya is fucking you with renewed fervor until you’re screaming because Tanaka’s damn dick is still in you.

“Cum, baby.” The latter murmurs in hot breaths into your ear, holding you up while Noya adds to the messy mix in your cunt.

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ficforthought · 4 years

Note

Dean loves to nuzzle into Jack's neck because he smells like ____________

JFC, anon, you (whether singular or plural) are really pushing my buttons with all the Jack, Belphegor and Alex asks. The bunnies are certainly hopping! *fans self* 😍

I know the title is corny, but hey, the muse gave us two ficlets in the same day, take the win! 😉 Also a bit more schmoopy and domestic than usual, I guess.

Heaven Scent

Jack is making a mountain of a sandwich when Dean walks into the kitchen after he and Sam get back from their hunt. It’s late, the rest of the occupants of the bunker will be fast asleep but Dean knew the kid would still be awake. He smiles to himself, Jack will deny he waited up for them to get home safely, he may not even know that’s what he’s actually doing, but it still makes Dean feel warm inside knowing he’s coming home to someone nowadays.

“Hey, kiddo,” he says quietly from the doorway, his smile growing with the look of delight and relief on Jack’s face when he sees him, “you’re up late.”

Jack blinks at him in that adorable way he has and points the knife in his hand towards the counter, “I was hungry, I’m making sandwiches,” he says, unnecessarily, “do you want me to make one for you and Sam?” His smile dims a little at that and looks over Dean’s shoulders, “Where is Sam, is he OK?”

Dean pushes away from the door frame and walks over to the boy, “He’s fine, just unloading the car,” he assures, running a thumb over the small frown making a crease in the smooth skin of Jack’s forehead, “I doubt he’ll want anything other than a drink, I could eat, though.”

The Nephilim leans into Dean’s touch, resting a hot hand on the hunter’s waist and the older man can feel him almost vibrating with his need to step into his lover’s arms but the new development in their relationship isn’t public knowledge so they have to be careful, “You’re always hungry,” he replies, a fond smile on his face. He throws a quick glance at the door, “for one thing or another!” he adds.

Even though he’s damn near exhausted Dean’s cock stirs a little at that, “Damn right,” he says in a low voice, lifting his own hand to rest on Jack’s pyjama clad hip and then sliding his hand around to squeeze the kid’s ass quickly before the sound of Sam’s footsteps makes him step away. He reaches out to open the fridge and pull out a beer, waving it at his brother, “Want one, Sammy?”

Sam shakes his head, “No thanks, I’m gonna get some water and then sleep for at least a day.”

Jack quickly moves to fill a large glass and hands it over, “There you go, Sam, is that enough?” he asks, almost bouncing on the balls of his feet, waiting for the man’s approval.

“That’s great, Jack,” Sam replies with a tired smile, “g’night.”

“Night, Sam,” the kid replies, his right hand raising in his trademark wave even though the other man’s already turned away.

When Jack picks up the knife again and moves back to the counter to cut the sandwich in half, Dean takes the opportunity to take a few deep swallows of his beer then presses himself up against the kid. He slides his hands around the slim waist, hooking his chin over the boy’s shoulder to nuzzle into his inviting neck. The shiver and small moan that falls from Jack’s soft pink lips makes the older man smile, the kid is always so sensitive. He lays the knife down and tips his head to one side, giving the hunter more access, trusting him completely.

Dean presses a gentle kiss to the smooth skin, drawing in the addictive scent of the young man as he does. Somehow Jack always smells like a combination of candy floss and sunshine that morphs into something spicy and woody with underlying earthy, musky notes that drive Dean insane with desire. He knows from experience that for now the sweetness is the overriding scent and he breathes in as deeply as he dares, if he allows himself to indulge too much he’ll end up bending Jack over the counter and it’s too risky. He pressing another couple of kisses to the Nephilim’s neck, followed by one behind his ear, then when he can feel the slight tremble in the kid’s body and hear his harsh breathing he buries his nose in the hair at the nape of Jack’s neck where the woody scent is stronger.

“Dean,” Jack says, his voice shaky, “I want you.”

The older man smiles against the soft blond hair under his lips and slides one hand down to cup Jack’s hard dick through his cotton pants. From the damp patch already there he guesses his boy isn’t wearing anything underneath them, “I know you do, sweetheart,” Dean says, his voice low and husky. He allows himself one stroke of the boy’s shaft, earning a gasp in response before he forces himself to let go and step away. The disappointed noise Jack makes goes straight to his cock, twitching to full hardness, now.

Sandwich forgotten, they head quickly and quietly to Jack’s room where Dean wastes no time in getting the kid naked, mapping out creamy, unblemished skin with his hands and mouth until the Nephilim is squirming and begging for more. The older man of course gives his boy exactly what he wants - what they both want - working his fingers then his cock into the perfect heat and tightness of Jack’s hole, kissing and licking into that sinful pink mouth, pulling away only to listen to the soft pleading sounds the boy makes and to kiss his sweaty neck and throat, pulling in the changing scent. It’s salty-sweet and musky now and Dean’s convinced that the kid is giving off some kind of cosmic pheromones because he can practically smell and taste Jack’s approaching orgasm.

The boy clings to Dean’s shoulders, moans getting louder, his slim hips bucking underneath the older man’s rough hands, his long legs wrapping tight around his lover’s waist as Dean fucks into him with harder and faster thrusts as the boy tightens around him, coming with a strangled cry. The extra pressure around his dick, Jack’s torso covered in his own come and the earthy, musky smell of it is what sends Dean over the edge, too.

After his softening cock slips out of Jack’s body he rolls them onto their sides, wrapping his arms tight around the boy, despite them both being hot and sweaty. One arm loops around Jack’s waist and the other rests across his chest, hand loosely wrapped around that long, elegant neck to hold him in place while Dean presses kisses into his sex damp hair at his temple and nape. He breathes in deeply, taking the uniqueness of the Nephilim’s new scent, the one that combines all of his own elements with Dean’s, and their shared sweat and come.

“I was doing some reading,” Jack says, after he’s caught his breath, his angelic healing allowing him to recover quickly..

“Mmm,” Dean replies, “nerd. What did you learn this time?”

Jack shifts in his embrace and Dean loosens his arms so the boy can face him, “The internet says that some people like to eat food off each other.”

Dean frowns, not quite following the kid’s train of thought, exhaustion and afterglow making his brain sluggish, “What about it?”

A sly grin crosses the Nephilim’s face, “I was thinking maybe we could get you a nice warm cherry pie, tomorrow, I know how you love to smell it before you eat it so I figured you might want to, you know...” he trails two fingers down his own chest and Dean’s eyes follow the movement.

A new wave of lust sweps through the older man’s body as his brain catches up to what Jack’s offering. The kid has never complained about the way Dean smells him even though he doesn’t really get why it turns him on, and now here he is, basically bringing the only other hot, sweet scent guaranteed to have Dean’s mouth watering into the equation, “Fuck, yeah,” he groans, imagining the combination of the heavenly scents and flavours of his lover and his favourite food.

Tomorrow is going to be a good day.

@winkline

#asked and answered #ask ficforthought #ficlet #winkline #klinechester #dean/jack #dean winchester #jack kline

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nagdabbit · 4 years

Text

lamp-bright rind Food Masterlist

Hello! I am Daggs! I write things and stuff!

Currently, I write a fic over on Ao3 called lamp-bright rind where everything is soft and I work out my feelings on an unsuspecting Billy Hargrove, because that’s just what’s happening while I’m stuck at home.

I thought it might be fun (and because I reeeeeaaallllllyy need something else to take up time, I’m going bonkers here) to like make a master list of all the recipe/food references in the fic? Because it’s a lot. My roommates can’t get out to get ingredients to feed me and I’m going through withdrawal. And, also, I really fucking love food. I can’t cook for shit, but I can eat like a mother fucker.

So with each chapter I’m gonna update this with where I got the recipes and link to them if they’re online or if my roommates let me give out their recipes that I have stolen (with permission, of course!). I’ll put a link at the top of each chapter, too. So. Here we go!

Chapter 1

This is a recipe from one of my roommates--henceforth known as Roommate Senior--and it is the most comfort food ass shit, y’all. I DO NOT have permission to give out the entire recipe for the sauce, only the ingredients that are included in the chapter. There are a few bits that I had to leave out, but not including them won’t actually ruin the dish, or so she says. Senior also does something else to her trofie because she’s just Like That. But, homemade trofie is my favourite pasta, y’all.

Here is a recipe from Italian Food Forever if you wanna give it a go. If you don’t feel like making your own pasta, because that shit takes time, The Chef recommends getting gnocchi. Something soft and starchy, basically. She also recommends: Delallo Roasted Red Peppers in Olive Oil. It’s a pretty common brand, apparently.

Chapter 2

1. This is my grandma’s Chicken Noodle Soup. So this is what we always had at Christmas time because it makes A Whole Ass Lot. And looking back, I think I definitely underestimated the amount of water/broth needed. This is one of three (3) things I can actually, competently cook IRL. Which explains why I work out as much as I do, because Reames noodles, y’all.

2. Jasmine Tea Panna Cotta from Madeline Effect. Never had it but, 1) Shiiiit is it pretty; 2) I love jasmine tea; and, 3) I fucking love plums, y’all.

3. Popcorn Ice Cream with Caramelized Popcorn and Black Pepper from page 263-5 of the NOPI cookbook by Yotam Ottolenghi and Ramael Scully. My other roommate--henceforth known as Roommate Junior--made this once and I just. I don’t even like popcorn, and I still think about that. The recipe itself isn’t online anywhere that I can find in full, but here is an Eat You Books link for the basic ingredients.

4. Raspberry Tart. This is a lesson in bookmarks. I SWEAR TO GOD, this came from Felicity Spector’s instagram, probably very far back. You’re gonna see her name pop up a lot on this list because I just love her instagram. So anyway. I have a very vivid memory of seeing a small little raspberry tart with pillowy clouds of whipped lemon verbena ganache. I know I saw it SOMEWHERE, but now I cannot find it. Learn from me. Bookmark your shit when you find it.

Chapter 3

A lot of the food I’m gonna mention is in reference to my favourite restaurant. It’s called Bourbon & Baker and my aunt takes me every time I visit. I don’t even care how long the drive there is, I’m there for the foooooooood (and her puppy, but that’s not the point). Funnily enough, the used to have a sister location in Chicago! Anyway, this is kind of what I’m basing Billy & Robin’s restaurant off of.

Currently, because of the You Know What, the menu on their site is pared down for To Go orders only, but I’m gonna use an old one I still have on my phone to give you an idea of the kind of food they serve, but also because I’m going through withdrawal.

1. Brussel sprouts. This, for the reason mentioned in the fic (blight), was removed from their menu before the last time I went, so this is gonna be mostly from memory: Roasted brussel sprouts (they were chopped p small and roasted til crispy), with toasted pecans, with a maple, brown sugar and balsamic vinegar glaze, and topped with shaved parm. Christ I miss those. Senior does a pretty good remix, but I think about those all the time.

2. Lamb Belly Tacos. So fucking goooooood. For size reference, it’s two street-style sized tacos. From the menu: Poblano chimichurri, crispy lamb belly, flour tortillas, Cojita cheese, pickled red onion, sunflower shoots, lime-mint tzatziki, cashew crumble.

3. Duck Tacos. This is a go-to for me. Like, if they take it off the menu, I will riot. From the menu: Citrus chile marinade, chargrilled, flour tortillas, Manchego cheese, spicy green-onion hoisin sauce, arugula, heirloom tomato relish.

4. Smoked Salmon. Here’s the trick. Get the salmon, keep 1-2 of the toasted breadsticks and use them to sop up the last of the Duck Taco juice. That’s the money. From the menu: Dill cream cheese, fried avocado, caper-red onion relish, lemon balsamic, arugula, toasted baguette.

5. The Waffle Thing. Okay. This is another thing they took off the menu before my last visit and I nearly DID riot. It sounds like there wasn’t nearly enough demand for it, which is a shame because it’s hecking incredible. From memory: a stack of orange zest waffles (1/4 wedges, so it was just one small/medium waffle divided and stacked) with sweet mascarpone, crispy prosciutto, maple syrup and a gooey ball of dates and pistachios.

6. “shrimp--” This was gonna be Shrimp & Grits. From the menu: Andouille grits, spinach collard greens, gulf chrimp, Cajun BBQ cashew cream.

ALSO on the menu this chapter, GRILLED CHEESES.

1. THE SOUP. I based it on this Smoky Tomato Soup from two peas & their pod.

2. Red Rock Cheddar & Gruyere. This is kinda based on the grilled cheese from B&B, except I just really like sourdough more than brioche. But that’s me. Red Rock Cheddar is a very specific kind of cheddar. It’s SUPER orange and also a blue cheese? It’s great. Creamy cheddar-like taste, but a hint of blue. Here’s a little thing about it if you’re curious.

3. Pumpernickel, ham, cheese. It’s basically this recipe from Finlandia Cheese, only Junior made it with pumpernickel once and it fucked me up. So good.

4. Onion, Mayo, Gouda. This is a Senior recipe. The closest IRL I can find is this from redbook mag. She, because she is just Like That, does something extra to her onions, but she confirmed that this recipe would be close enough to taste p good. Just switch in gouda for the cheese and put mayo INSIDE the sammich. I saw that some people put in on the outside instead of butter, and y’all need jesus. *shudder*

5. Toad in the hole. A midwest staple, but here is a recipe from Taste of Home if your family isn’t into dying early from a heart attack. In my head, Billy cooked the egg over hard, or at least NOT gooey, but that’s just for the mess. Obv it would be over easy/sunny in the restaurant. Obvs.

And there we have it! All the food from the first three chapters. Join me next time for more Daggs Loves Food and Really Misses Fresh Veggies, JFC.

Now, how should I tag this.

#stranger things fanfiction #billy/steve #fic: lamp-bright rind #lamp-bright rind #lamp bright rind

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ain-t-bovvered · 5 years

Note

Babe, I need a commentary on "Swan Song" more than I need my next breath. Pretty please ‼️

[Send me an ask with your favourite or a random SPN episode and I’ll comment on it while re-watching it.]

+SPN Commentaries+

Season 14

a/n : all the episode SPN gifs are made as I watch , unless they’re from google , you can see that if they are. If you can’t see them you need to use a computer or use the gifs post right under the episode link.

UUUGH *wraps herself in a blanket*

[zoom on Dean as the song goes “don’t you cry no more” ] J F C

[Chuck’s voice] “On April 21st-”

[slams the laptop close] I can’t do this.

————————————————-

- I gotta .

*sobs* [open laptop] “ -1967 , the 100 millionth..”

- “the most important car “

-” Getting folks right for judgment day”

- “ a used car-lot in Lawrence, where a young marine bought her on impulse” [sucks breath in]

- “ Where the story begins ..:”

- “…and here is where it ends”

- “Watching out for you,it’s kind of been my job” “ it’s kinda who I am”

- “I let him out…I gotta put him back”

Goddamn it this will hurt like a son of a bitch , I can’t even be funny

- I always cringed seeing those two demons hanging from the ceiling to bleed out like pigs honestly.

-…and damn that fucking jacket!!!! I hate whoever stole it with all my heart

- Oh fuck Sam’s so disgusted and scared

- Looking at Castiel sleeping in the back “oh ain’t he a little angel?”

S:”Angels don’t sleep”

D: Well…fuck

-DETROIT

-S “Dean I’m sure he know a buttload we don’t”

-S” you gotta promise me you are not gonna try to bring me back”

D: WUT, lol sure

-Apple-pie life ….sorry but that doesn’t suit neither of you. AND just because Idgaf about y’all haters….I don’t even want that for them . I mean…I don’t see supernatural ending like that , do you? Blaze of glory guys.

-HE DID NOT PROMISE THO

-time for the goodbyes .

- S “Do you mind not watching this?”

[skipping forward crying] I CAN’T YOU GUYS FUCK YOU

also…that was a lot to drink, I can barely drink two bottles of water a day without being sick.

-S “ We’re here you sons of bitches”

MOOD

- Hey Lucy…looking rotting

- All those little details in the car makes me so sad and warm and happy, ffs

-WHY DOES HE KNOW ABOUT THE RIIIIINGS

-oh my fuck look at Dean right now….my heart

-The moment where Sam becomes Lucifer…..DAMN JARED

- And here we have the entire fandom mood

-The mirror talk

-Samifer: “ Such anger, young Skywalker”-Samifer “ we are two half made whole”S: first of all EWW

-Jesus H Roosevelt Christ , that is so not Sam

-”Sam Winchester this is your life”

Hi hello, uhm…can someone send help? I think my heart is being ripped off

- C “I suggest we imbibe copious quantities of alcohol “ A MOOD

- D” yes, well, .thank you Bukowski “

- OH WOW BOBBY’S BROKEN FACE DOESN’T AFFECT ME AT ALL.

Jk that’s insufferable

-”Sam used to insist on honest jobs.” that’s cute.

-”They could go anywhere and do anything” LIVING THE LIFE I WANT

-”Sure , they never really had a roof and 4 walls, but they were never, in fact, homeless “

-”It has to end where it started I guess”

-”You are gonna do something stupid. You got that look” TELL ME AGAIN HOW BOBBY IS NOT THEIR FATHER

-”Well I ain’t gonna let him die alone”

[ok …I’ve run out of pitiful cats pics ]

-oh well that’s a graveyard that @curly-haired-disaster would enjoy

- Angels and their constipated staring contest.

- is it bad that I find the fucking Devil reasonable ?!?!?! Like??? he’s?? not wrong??

- JFC Michael is so…aseptic

-but also I’m imagining this with Michael true vessel and I’m dying because….PARALLELS

ALSO , Michael and Lucifer:

- [PURR] *GASPS* OH look it’s Dean doing something stupid.

-[Rock of Ages starts to play ] My lame 90s’ ass:

*record scratch* In my defense….nope…there is no excuse….proceed *record starts*

-”it’s better to burn out than fade away”

D mentally : hello you stupid motherfuckers, Dean-suicidal-tendencies-because-nothing-to-lose is here.

- Michael : RUDE

-Lucifer : lol I love this stupid son of a bitch, i’LL KILL HIM LAST

-”Hey, we need to talk”

can someone get me an infinity rule to measure Dean’s balls right now?

- Satan: This is a new whole mountain of stupid” also I’m so entertained right now. You go mud monkey, do a little dance.

-Dean addressing Adam

Adam in hell : SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH

- AND HERE WE HAVE THE GREATEST INSULT

-also…HELLOOOO YOU CASTIEL HATERS MOTHERFUCKERS, HE LITERALLY JUST SIGNED HIS DEATH TO GIVE 5 FRIGGIN MINUTES TO DEAN FOR SOMETHING HE ISN’T EVEN SURE WOULD CHANGE A THING

- Satan “ did you just molotov my brother with holy fire?”

Castiel : …..nnnnno…?

[SPLAT]

- Lucifer grabbing Dean by the collar , slowly , saying “ You are such a pain……” [dramatic pause because Lucifer is a drama queen] “…in my ass”

HOT.

(please don’t start sending me Wincest or SamLucifer x Dean or SamxLucifer stuff , I still don’t like them)

- NAH BOBBEH

- “Oh he’s in here all right” …. kinky

(please don’t start sending me Wincest or SamLucifer x Dean or SamxLucifer stuff , I still don’t like them)

- [Dean gets trashed]

- The toy soldier!!!!

-THE FLASHBACKS

-OH my god he’s so scared and oh look you can see the moment he gives up

-those silent goodbyes

- [gross sobbing]

- also….bye forever Adam and Canon Michael arches.

-The moment Dean realize it’s done and his head bump into the car and his lips trembles and his eyes are so lost and full of pain and then he closes them and turn his head [fades to black]

OH LOOK HE IS ON HIS KNEES , FUCKING GREAT THANKS…..wow ok YA REALLY NEED TO STOP MAKING ME DO COMMENTARIES ON SAD EP , but that would mean that there would be just a handful left then….

- *whop whop * here is Castiel

- D:”Cass are you God? “

C: “ no but I’ll make you scream that later in the seasons. That’s a nice compliment, but no”

- C: “ New and improved” CASS IS A SERAPH NOW , [LEVEL UP]

- “ you try to tied up any loose ends, but you never can “ … are the writers calling themselves out?

“The fans are always gonna bitch”

HEY

“There’s always gonna be holes”

yeah riiiight

-D “ wow…God gives you a brand new shiny set of wings and suddenly you are his bitch again”

oooooh speaking the truths and we all know what happens in season 6 .

C : “It’s just seems like the right thing to do”

me : *cringe *

- D: “ All I’ve got is my brother in a hole!”

- C: “ what would you rather have? Peace or Freedom ?”

CASTIEL WHAT’S WITH THESE IMPOSSIBLE CHOICES, JFC he’s already starting to sounds like what he’ll become in season 6

- D:” You really sucks at goodbyes”

-Bobby and Dean’s hug *sobs*

-Chuck:” Every part of him, every fiber he’s got wants to die…”

thanks god, I hate it

- “..he’s made a promise”

A VeRy FuCKIng StUPid onE

- THE VOICE CRACK

- Chuck:” they did alright”

*spluttering* I’M SORRY WHAT

Also FUCK OFF WITH THIS MUSIC AND THE FLASHBACKS

-”Nothing really ever ends”HERE….RIGHT HERE…at the time I’ve watched this the first time I was…..BITCH WHERE U GO? AND THEN…….OH..OOOOH YOU MOTHERFUCKER.

God every time something bad happens on heart, heaven and hell :

OH WAIT …

-[ camera pointing in Sam’s face] and where the fuck did you come from bitch.[Hello by Adele starts to play]

Next up : Free to be you and me

ugh I forgot who wanted the tag in these so I’m tagging the ones from the season 14 ones

@waywardbaby @ravenangel33 @mariekoukie6661 @wayward-and-worn @spnskinnyballs @starfirerules @cloverhighfive @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @destiel-honeypie @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee @jacks-word-of-the-day

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childofsquidward · 6 years

Text

Queen’s Battle (pt. 1 + pt. 2)

*WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD*

First off, I didn’t think we’d get Queen’s Battle before 2019. I can’t be the only one. I for sure thought that Frozer would be the last episode we’d get to see for 2018.

Moving on, literally every time Marinette goes into freak-out mode, I want to reach through my screen and give her a hug - stop stressing my child out 2k18 and beyond. Everyone needs a Tikki in their lives, btw. Also, why do I feel as though the writers scroll through Tumblr? Because everyone’s been talking about Adrien’s allergies, and the writers fixed that plot hole up real quick with synthetic feathers. Like, I feel as though they’re getting better at not leaving us with a million questions…?

AntHoNy -

Girl, you forgetting his name on purpose or…?

(Gorilla’s face was everything though, he was probably just like, “my boss may be Hawkmoth, but at least he remembers to treat me like a human every now and then, sayonara bitch.”

Why isn’t the carpet made out of marble - jfc! I can’t deal with this woman and it’s only been like two minutes. Her magazine is named Style Queen? Why didn’t anyone on here think of that? Also, Audrey’s just a straight up bitch, I want to knock that ridiculous hat off of her head, she is the worst, and not to condone Chloe’s own actions, but if that's what I had to look up to, if that was my main influence growing up, I’d be Chloe too.

cLarA?!

Thomas, what the hell is this?! We can’t have parents on this show who are worse than Gabriel, he’s the fucking villain!

“And you’re fired.” - from what, being your daughter - wait, actually, that’s not the worst idea, run Chloe run (I’d just quit if I could)

Aw, Adrienette, my sun, my stars, the only way to turn this episode around… No, seriously, I missed their adorkably awkward interactions, it feels like it’s been a while since we’ve had on of those (maybe it’s just the shipper in me, but whatevs)

Okay, I know that everyone thought that Nathalie might deliver some savage comebacks or whatever, but her monotonous air of ‘shut up, god, why are you still here?” was the funniest shit ever, I lived for it people! Oh Nathalie…

Moving on, are they really gonna’ have Audrey get akumatized cuz she thinks that Gabriel making her sit in the second row (GOD FORBID) is a sign of disrespect? So he reserved the front seat for his son’s closest friends, one of whom designed a piece for the show, big deal.

The coffin - oh dear god, I knew it was coming but with the music and everything, chills, literal chills. Also, why does Emilie’s outfit look like a fencing uniform…?

But like, my boy Nino living his best life, fulfilling his dreams - YAAAASSSS DJ!NINO

“Is this supposed to happen?” - Tom is so precious!

ADRIEN WHY DIDN’T YOU RUN?! (I knew it was gonna’ happen, but he could’ve gotten away and transformed, ugh)

I know that Style Queen’s the villain, but she’s not wrong about the costume. Is it practical and thematic? Yes. Does it look like the work of an aspiring fashion designer? Don’t make me laugh.

Aw, Chloboats just saved her hero’s life - Chloe’s a real stan, like she’d do anything for Ladybug, even somewhat defy her mother.

Also, I can’t believe they actually made Adrien as Sleeping Beauty canon. I’m telling you, someone in that writers’ room is on Tumblr.

Mari met Plaag guys, she met Plaag- I LOVE THIS SEASON SO MUCH!!!

Yo, I need flashbacks of what Plaag did to Atlantis, the leaning tower, dinosaurs, and god knows what else. Master Fu was quick to jump on him though. Like, Marinette comes in full panic mode and he’s just chillin, meditating, living life, but the minute Plaag starts talking he was in Mari mode like “no, nope, nopitynopnope.” and Wayzz just groaning in the background - highlight of the episode for me honestly.

Alya nearly became Queen Bee y’all!!! I love how Marinette just knows that she’ll be there, so she’s like, ‘yo, how’s about a second miraculous, you up for it?’ By the way, what are rules of being a miraculous holder exactly? Like, are you allowed to be in possession of more than one? Can they like, switch miraculous all willy nilly depending on the situation?

Is it wrong that I love Plaag even more now knowing that such a tiny little bean can cause so much damage? God bless Marinette and Tikki’s powers cuz’ otherwise, I think Plaag’s cataclysm would’ve probably destroyed the entire city, or at least half of it.

Also, Mari, sweetie, the bee miraculous! The bee mirac- this girl...

Nathalie knows?! Did we know she knows?! I know we headcanon she knows, but did we know?! Guys, this is too much for me. On that note, Pollen is adorable, I love her already, she must be protected at all costs!

Now onto part two…

HE’S GIVING UP?! GABRIEL, REALLY?! I mean, should be happy…? I did not see that one coming but I guess this was the final straw for him, so I kind of get it. Like, Style Queen was supposed to be his end all be all, and even she failed to seal the deal for him, and with Adrien being caught in the crossfire once again, it was just too much, and goddammit, am I relating to/sympathizing with Gabriel? Especially after what an asshole he was to Nooroo during the last episode, like, guys, I wanted to wring his neck, what is this feeling?

Okay, so after all that crap in part one, Audrey’s suddenly doing a complete 180 and being sweet and complimenting people? I mean, she’s still a shit mother so I still loathe her existence, but giving credit where credit is due is actually pretty fair of her considering everything we just witnessed. Everything’s coming up Marinette, and I want to be happy for her, I really, truly do. But we all know Chloe’s hurting and she’s gonna’ blow a gasket.

Imagine doing everything you possibly can to follow in your mother’s footsteps despite the way she treats you, imagine loving her so much that you nearly start to become her, and she doesn’t give a fuck and simply continues to refer to you with the wrong name (casserole, really?). Then imagine watching her praise your classmate who you despise, and offering to take her to New York with her when she wouldn’t even take you, her daughter. Add that to said classmate getting support from her own parents, one of your oldest and only friends and his dad, the biggest name in fashion who is known for being cold-hearted and ruthless. And the cherry on top is said mother not feeling a single speck of guilt, remorse or regret. I feel bad for Chloe you guys, her outburst makes sense, her anger is justified in my opinion.

Pulling out the miraculous though… I get it, rash decision taking her heightened emotions into account, but still not okay. Despite my feeling bad for her, I still don’t think her actions were okay, she’s so all over the place emotionally, she’s going about things the wrong way. She’s so desperate for her mother’s approval, she’s ready and willing to do anything, which actually makes her so dangerous taking her powers into consideration.

CHLOE WHAT THE FUCK?!

NONONONONONONO

SHE INDIRECTLY BROUGHT HAWKMOTH BACK TOO, DAMMIT, EVERYTHING WAS GOING SO WELL!!!

Of course Mari’s parents are the first to rise to the occasion and help save everyone, everything about Marinette makes so much sense now.

Moving on, the fight sequences in this episode were exceptional! I don’t know why, but they were so cool in this episode I just had to talk about them. Queen Wasp was like a one-woman arsenal, she was the most badass villain ever, which is saying a lot considering Anansi and Sandboy. The underwater fight sequence was good too, my only complaint about this episode is honestly just the lack of Pollen, like, she’s so precious, I wanted more than four words to come out of her mouth y’all.

I don’t know how the rest of you felt about the episode, but I don’t think that they forgave Chloe too easily. Obviously Adrien knows her, he knows she is and he understands why she did what she did. But that look on Mari’s when Audrey told Chloe that she wasn’t exceptional, and then later on when Tom said he was willing to do anything for his daughter, I think something may have clicked inside Mari like, ‘I have two parents who love me, so I’ll never understand how Chloe feels, but I guess I get why she is the way she is,’ and just like in Zombizou, this was Marinette extending the olive branch in a way. This Marinette is definitely different than the one from Antibug, and I like that Marinette is being patient with Chloe and letting her come terms with her actions on her own rather than being so quick to just berate her for her mistakes - THANK YOU CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT (for both my girls).

Now, as far as the confrontation with Audrey goes, I think a little part of Marinette used helping Chloe as an excuse to stick it to both Bourgeois women, and honestly, I see you Marinette and I must admit, you made me proud. Mari throwing shade aside, I feel like they could’ve ended it with a much more tender moment between Chloe and her mother rather than Audrey just being ecstatic at how her daughter is as horrible a person as she is, which I honestly think just regressed all the progress she made, like, come on Thomas, give me a break!

All in all, I did think that Queen’s Battle was a really great two-parter, part two was definitely a lot more action-packed and hit me right in the feels, but part one really brought that comedic element, so I guess they’re both pretty even in that sense.

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remus-lupin-is-my-type · 6 years

Note

Hiii If you are still doing the charchter thing Could you do Sirius , Harry , snape

Hello anonymous friendo! I am indeed still doing the character thingy because it’s fun and I have no life outside of this website hehe :D

Sirius…

How I feel about him:

Don’t even get me fucking started.

I just. I love him. So much. My heart. Cannot take.

I have a real soft spot for characters who have been through so much and just continue to persevere and keep going, it’s one of MANY reasons why I’m such goddamn wolfstar trash lol xD

Sirius makes me feel so many emotions when I think about his awful childhood and his edgy exterior that hides a lot of trauma and pain.

He was so unloved for so long and I’m so glad he found his family.

And that’s how it ended right hahahahaha yep nothing to see here after that :) :) :) :) :)

People I ship romantically with him:

REMUS. FUCKING. LUPIN.

Wolfstar is my bread and butter, my oxygen, my all around reason for LIVING.

My non-romantic OTP for him:

James. Like I said in my James ask, they’re truly soul brothers and I just. I can’t. I’m so emotional about their relationship okay dON’T LOOK AT ME.

My unpopular opinion about him:

Not sure how unpopular this is but here we go!

Sirius never wanted to fight in the war.

I’ve mentioned this a little in my signature character tag for him, but Sirius spent his whole life being trapped. By his abusive home and then by the Order.

I’ve read a lot about Sirius signing up immediately to fight, and there’s definitely merit for that and canon evidence of his impulsive nature and desire for justice, but I personally head canon that he didn’t want to.

I think he was selfish enough to want to get as far away from it as possible, just to taste the freedom he was never able to have.

One thing I wish would have happened in canon:

LET. HARRY. HAVE. HIS. FUCKING. FAMILY. PLEASE.

NO MORE OF THIS DYING BUSINESS, PLEASE AND THANK.

EDIT: GODDAMNIT I DID IT AGAIN AND FORGOT TWO THIRDS OF THE ASK LOL OKAY SORRY GIMME A MINUTE XD

OKAY HERE WE GO :P

Harry…

How I feel about him:

M Y C H I L D.

Must be protected at all costs.

My baby is so brave, and the fact he doesn’t break down on the daily is astounding.

He’s wonderful and kind and smart and funny and just UGH. MY BOI.

People I ship romantically with him:

Never had a problem with Ginny/Harry so there’s one.

But guys. I’m honestly so close to full on slipping down the Drarry rabbit hole. It’s only a matter of time at this point xD

My non-romantic OTP for him:

Ron. Freaking besties for life, it makes me emotional. They’d do anything for each other and just uGH. YAY FRIENDSHIP.

My unpopular opinion about him:

Okay pretty sure this is a fairly popular opinion but like…

Harry’s trauma is WAY underplayed imo.

That boy grew up in an abusive household for YEARS. And then suddenly all this shit happens, and wHOOPS HEYA KIDDO YOU’RE FAMOUS FOR THE SAME REASON YOUR PARENTS ARE DEAD.

And every single YEAR shit just goes to hELL and poor Harry keeps on swingin.

I’m surprised he isn’t crushed by all the pressure on him at all times jfc.

One thing I wished would have happened in canon:

I WANT TO SEE THAT BREAKDOWN.

I want Harry to just feel way too much and burst into tears because for fuck’s sake, he is a CHILD and can only take so MUCH.

I mentioned this before, but there’s a scene in a marvellous fic called “The Boys of Crowhill” with that exact thing, and the sheer amount of second hand relief I felt during that scene was insane.

Snape…

How I feel about him:

Bully.

Unnecessarily cruel.

0 stars.

People I ship romantically with him:

NOPE.

My non-romantic OTP for him:

Maybe Lily back in the childhood days before Snape was a massive prick. I like to believe there was a time when their friendship was pure and good :)

My unpopular opinion about him:

This kind of goes back to my Dumbledore ask, but I don’t see Severus Snape as black or white in regards to goodness.

He’s quite possibly the most amoral character ever to exist.

He’s done SO MANY SHITTY THINGS, and being a huge part of winning the war (for reasons ALL his own, I might add, not for the greater good) does not cancel those things out.

But I wouldn’t exactly call him EVIL. He’s an interesting character to puzzle over, that’s for damn sure.

One thing I wish had happened in canon:

I wish Harry could have grown on Snape more, and the two become more frenemies than just straight up enemies.

I wish they could have learned from each other, and not be completely obtuse and blinded by their hatred.

I’ve shouted out this fic twice already in the span of all these asks, but THIRD’S TIMES THE CHARM OKAY. So. In “The Boys of Crowhill”, the relationship between Harry and Snape is legit my favourite depiction of them ever. It’s so snarky and still like fuelled by mutual dislike, but there’s an underlying respect under all of that, and maybe even the teeniest touch of affection. It’s AWESOME.

Send me an HP character and I’ll break them down!

#anon #anonymous #ask #harry potter #severus snape #sirius black #ask tag #ask meme #hp rp community #wolfstar

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yakumtsaki · 7 years

Photo

CHILLIN LIKE A VILLAIN. Pleased with yourself, are you, Becky with the good hair?

-Oh quite, though I’d be more pleased if my damn arm would unglitch.

HA looks like it got stuck while you were putting your filthy hands on Wyatt. God’s punishment is swift. Know what else is gonna be swift? YOUR DEATH. Get him, Waylon Fairchild Dementia Raven Way!

-Ugh, no way, I’m exhausted, everyone is in love with me and I just want to be with Draco, ok? Why couldn’t Satan make me less beautiful? IT’S A CURSE

Waylon sis truly don’t even talk to me about curses and Satan right now, this entire lot is cursed and crawling with evil spirits and beelzebubian energies. Ever since we moved here my life has never known peace. Next thing you know snakes are gonna start manifesting in this house physically.

Well looks like the snakes are already here. FRANCES WILL YOU FUCKING STOP ALREADY YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANTED JOYATT IS DEAD NOW CEASE AND DESIST

-No way bitch, time to suffer. Look at it and weep, look at it with your own two eyes!

First of all I’ve been weeping since yesterday so joke’s on you. Secondly I still can’t believe you did this to me after I generously gave you this whole debonair look YOU’RE THE WORST

-La la la can’t hear you over the sound of your plans crumbling all around me!!

I’m seriously gonna murder you a thousand times. Wyatt what about you, you dumbass bimbo? What do you have to say for yourself?

-Not beaucoup, I honestly don’t know why I’m doing this, it makes absolument no sense! Huhu!

I hate you both so fucking much I might actually vomit.

Ugh my poor Jojo </3 I’m so sorry that your love life has turned into a giant pile of crap.

-Please, who cares.. Definitely not me!

Yeah well that much is obvious! Are you sure you’re alright tho? Because you look, you know. worryingly expressionless and in denial.

-Oh no, I’m just focusing on my new proposal,“Project MKUltra: The Comeback”. It’ll be a cold day in hell before I have to deal with adulterous whores again!

Good, good, pour yourself into your art. Speaking of, maybe it’s also time to pour yourself a refreshing drink?

Attaboy, milk that cowplant, Jojo!

-Hmm this process feels oddly sexual..

Yea, I can tell by your massive erection, jesus, I mean even for you-

-Ew no what the hell? That’s just because Ti-Ning is dead!

Oh ok, that’s fine then!

-YES YEEEEES I FEEL THE POWER COURSING THROUGH MY VEINS

Hard to believe anything can course through your veins with all that ice in there but alright. Now we just have to wait..

..for the cowplant to get hungry again. I literally can’t with Daniel and Gunther constantly picking fights with Jojo’s former suitors, especially since Jojo doesn’t seem to give enough of a fuck to fight them himself. We are family, I got all my sisters with me!

Ugh I keep forgetting Daniel has 9 nice points, what a crybaby. How you gonna fight capitalism when you can’t even fight Wyatt?? MAN UP DAN

Nice, there we go! I’m truly living for Brit’s utter lack of interest in fights happening next to her. Her aspiration bar is about to hit the crapper bc I’m even worse at playing popularity sims than I am at getting couples not to whore around, so the time has come..

TO PARTY HARD, TOGA STYLE. I really threw this party thinking it would be a success and save Brit from aspiration failure, so obviously the time has come to acknowledge that I’m even stupider than Wyatt. Things get off to a good enough start with the profs tickling each other, which everyone knows is the mark of a wild college party!

Ti-Ning, gone but never forgotten.

-Hey Brit, want some Ti-Ning to wash down that pizza?

-Please stop addressing me.

-That’s right, address moi instead!

NO YOU DON’T WYATT. YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE

..........................................................................all I can say is LMAO

Wyatt, sweetie, full offense, exactly how dumb are you?

-What? I wanna marry Jojό! <3

Ok. Do you have any recollection of breaking his “heart” 2 hours ago, setting him on the path of a complete nervous breakdown?

-Oh, that was just a bump on la route, don’t be so dramatique!

-Does it count as a win if the only thing you put in the hole.. are your tears?

.....god.

Meanwhile and to the surprise of no one, Gunther is being sexually harassed by a professor, namely Down-With-The-Kids-Pink-Beanie.

-Sooo Gunther, half-alien professor told me all about you, you little ginger minx.. What do you say you and I adjourn somewhere private and I see if the carpet matches the drapes..

-EW forget it, lady, you’re not even in the art department and I only have one rule: no whoring without extra scoring.

Um what about the rule of monogamous dating which you are currently doing with Mel?

-RIGHT that too!

Once again...god.

The one person having a great time at this party is Kevin Beare, who eats half a pizza by himself..

..and then moves on to chips. He legit came here for the free food and didn’t talk to anyone the entire time, which is what I do at every party except with drinks. Live your truth, Kev!

Look who’s back from class and still glitched lolol

-Can you please reset me already, I had to take an exam like this!!!

Pfff grades??? There are so many more important things in life, Fran. Live a little, join the celebration.. party like there’s no tomorrow. CAUSE THERE ISN’T

I’ve no idea what happened here but Tiffany is non-stop bullying this 2006-Oliver-Sykes haired professor. Judging from Pink Beanie and sims professors in general it’s safe to say he deserves it. GET HIM TIFF

-Why doesn’t anyone want to fuck me, Frank? What am I doing wrong? Has Woody Allen been lying to us about hot young women being uncontrollably attracted to neurotic, misogynist, mediocre intellectuals over 60?

Oh great, I thought this party was gonna end as a dud but I see we’re going for full-on disaster.

-I’ve just about had enough of you and your passé casquette, communiste!

-My casquette is not passé, it’s classic!

-LADY STOP TRYING TO GET UNDER MY TOGA

-Aw come on, please? For mommy?

-You should use that line on Jojo where it might actually work!

Enemies, these bitches my enemies, not on my level so they just pretend to be, yes, why do you envy me? Cause I am the MVP, these bitches my enemies ♪

-FOR THE GLORY OF THE USSR

Yea, seems about right. Whatever though, cause after the party..

COMES THE CAKE.

Goodbye Francis, it’s been nice, hope you find your paradise!

-Oh please, SEE YOU IN HELL BITCH. WAIT FOR ME CAUSE I’M GONNA FIGHT YOU THERE TOO

It’s a beautiful morning and our llama friend is back to spread some school pride and presumably some bodily fluids. We almost went an entire day without seeing him but here he is again! GET OUT OF MELODY’S SHOWER YOU FUCKING CREEP

-FINE. YOU’RE GONNA APPRECIATE ME WHEN I’M GONE

Yea don’t worry that day is permanently coming as soon as we milk Frances out of the cowplant. Honestly this fucking llama is the last straw, the time has come for me to take back control of this house..

..starting with getting sweet, dumb Wyatt back with Jojo! I really think the Frances thing was a fluke, I mean W wasn’t in a committed relationship with Jo, he didn’t initiate it and he rolled the want to get engaged to him for the second time after it. So the whole thing = Fran’s + ACR’s fault!!!1 Also and more importantly we have literally 0 other viable options and college is almost done so it’s time for Jojo to put Lemonade on repeat and get over it.

Let’s bring out the big guns!

-Mom! it’s so good to hear your insufferably domineering voice. Did you get my latest murder pics?

-Ha! Yes they are great, thank you mom. Soon I’ll add the french courtesan to my album. Now tell me, in as much detail as possible, how proud of me you are!

-I don’t know how Wyatt is doing, he’s the french courtesan, I’m going to kill him! Are you even listening to me?

-What do you mean it’s probably my fault? Can you divorce dad already, his influence on your brain has been catastrophic.

-Love is a battlefield? Mom seriously. Divorce. Now.

-Ugh yes, I could imprison him in a gigantic safe for a few days instead of killing him, but what on earth would that achieve?

-Well I don’t care about having a husband! Worst case scenario, I’ll just marry Max!

-Yes, Max does look like dad. Yes, he is as dumb as him. YES, MOM, I KNOW. HONESTLY YOU’RE ONE TO TALK

-Well, I have to go now, but you’ve certainly given me a lot to think about. And by that I mean which care home to put you in cause you’ve obviously lost it. Goodbye, mother.

As soon as Jojo hangs up the phone Melody runs over to autonomously lecture him. Nice move, Mel, let’s peer pressure him till he caves!

-Jojo this is an intervention but please don’t mistake it as me actually caring about you. Your bullshit harem drama has taken over the entire greek house storyline and enough is enough, we demand equal airtime. Just forgive Wyatt already, he’s too hot for you and you were literally dating 2 other dudes at the same time and you also treated him like shit and you are the worst and Gunther is the best and he’s gonna beat you for heir. Melody out.

Yes, powerful stuff, thank you, Mel. Now Wyatt, let’s apologize!

-I’m so sorry I kissed Frances, Jojό, I don’t know what I was thinking </3

That’s a great start Wyatt, now let’s try it facing the right way!

-I’m so sorry I kissed Frances, Jojό, I don’t know what I was thinking </3 Also I’m totally planning our wedding in my head you right now.

Ok, smaller steps, let’s get him to not hate you first!

If there’s one thing I hate about ts2 it’s how ridiculously hard it is to be forgiven for cheating, shit is unreal. Wyatt has been apologizing for about 3 years now and Jojo is still furious jfc, it’s legit easier to get forgiven for cheating irl than it is in this game.

-For the thousandth time, I’m so so sorry Jojό, honestly in the dark of the nuit at first I thought Frances was you and then it was too late!

-Yes, it was also broad daylight.

-Well you know I have bad eyesight, mon cheri :(

Wyatt seriously, we’ve reached the point where you’re throwing junk out there, so let’s take a break..

..from this fucking house! It’s date time! Time for dinner and public woohoo in that vegan restaurant downtown, cause I’ve ignored Gunther so hard his aspiration is currently scarlet red. Mel is doing great though, like all knowledge sims in uni, she’s legit never not-platinum. The adorable couple make themselves right at home, by doing literally what they do at home 20h a day. NOT WHAT WE CAME HERE FOR GET UP

-Maybe if we act like children they’ll think we’re under 12 and we’ll get a discount!

-We’re so in sync, babe, I brought my monster trucks with me for this very eventuality!

-Here, let me blow you a kiss, babe. A prelude of tonight’s blowing.

-Honestly, every time you talk, I just see the eggplant emoji <3

I didn’t vomit from Wyatt/Frances but this date might actually do the trick!

-Do you think the waiter is mad that we insisted on lobster in a vegan restaurant and he had to go fishing for it?

-Whatever, babe, we deserve it.

-We really do. I ship us.

-I ship us too <3

Good because I don’t anymore.

Yaas, aspiration problems taken care of! Mel’s shy ass hilariously had a fear of having her photo taken, but public fornication she has no issue with.

-Having your photo taken is unnatural! I’m just using the photo booth as god intended.

Ofc, on the 6th day, god created the photobooth for people to publicly fuck in.

-Wow Mel, my reflection in your sunglasses is so beautiful.

-So is mine in yours, babe.

-I almost wish we could look into each other’s eyes but then it’d ruin our whole look. You know what, screw it..

-..I was gonna wait till we graduated it and were more mature and crap like that, but whatever, babe, when it’s right, you know. Will you marry me, Melody Tinker, despite the certainty that one or more of our kids will get the Komei nose?

-Oh my god, Gunther! I literally thought you’d never ask, because, let’s be real, you’re a gigantic slut.

-These days are gone, babe, I’m a changed man!

-This ring has been in my family for half a generation, ever since my mom stole it from Florence Delarosa who was obviously never gonna need it.

-Oh it’s beautiful and the fact it’s stolen makes it even more precious!

It’s morphin time! Let’s pretend the red around Gunther’s memory signifies passion and not a crippling fear of commitment. Congrats you gross, crazy kids!

It’s also morphine time, cause damn are we broke as shit. In hindsight perhaps we shouldn’t have gotten the lobster.

We return home, where I’m trying to fulfill Jojo’s longstanding wish to see Ti-Ning’s ghost but apparently Ti-Ning is an even bigger asshole dead than he was alive. Bitch seems to be deliberately refusing to scare Jojo, I mean we’ve been standing around playing ghostbusters for like 4 hours now and it’s just not happening-

-but some scary shit IS happening inside. WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS.

-What!? We’re just talking about our mutual interest in entertainment.

Brit seriously, don’t make me kill you cause I’ll do it, I’m kinda on a roll here and completely exhausted from this fuckery.

-Gawd, fine, I’m gonna go to sleep.

GO TO A DIFFERENT BED. I’ve noticed a sudden and disturbing reappearance of slutty wants in Gunther’s panel immediately after the engagement, which I’m guessing is some kind of regression back to his usual pattern, like he’s rolling wants to woohoo 10 sims and makeout with another 20 and idek. It’s extremely pissing me off and it’s also extremely not happening.

I JUST SAID IT’S NOT HAPPENING. FUCKING STOP IT.

-We’re just friends!!! Paranoid much?

CAN YOU BLAME ME

Look here, THIS is the distance I wanna see between you two. It’s also NOT the distance I wanna see between Wyatt and Jojo, man this apology shit is taking fucking forever UGGGH

-Jojό, are you still mad at me?

-What do you think?

-No?

-Guess again.

-No?

-Ugh.

-Oh Jojό, I know you hate me but I’m gonna keep apologizing for the rest of ma vie, cause I really have nothing better to do. And also because je t’aime, Jojό. Why can't I free your doubtful mind and melt your cold cold cœur?

YES. FUCKING FINALLY. I HEAR HEARTS I HEAR HEARTS!!!!!

THEY’RE JUST NOT COMING FROM THE LIVING ROOM!!!!!11

KILL ME. I WILL PAY SOMEONE TO KILL ME. DON’T TELL ME WHEN YOU’RE COMING JUST SHOW UP AND DO IT. TAKE MY CAT ON THE WAY OUT AND FIND HIM A GOOD HOME. I’M DONE.

#ts2 #union legacy

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andromedahawking · 6 years

Text

NaNoWriMo, Day 1

1,667 words, done! Take a looksie if you’d like. (Warning: this is unedited, first-draft quality writing. Don’t expect AO3-level stuff here.)

Today was Tuesday, and that meant one of three things was going to happen:

Maria was going to have a very bad time, because American History would be devoted purely to working on the group project due at the end of the term, and she would have to do all the work, again.

Maria was going to have a normal bad time, because History would be divided between lecture and the project.

Maria was going to have a good time, because History would be 100% lecture, and the group project would wait until Thursday.

Needless to say, she really really hoped that possibility #3 was going to come through for her today.

She walked onto campus at 9, still bleary-eyed from the night before. She sworn she was going to stop getting so drunk, what happened? It was amazing how quickly she'd ditched that resolution.

“Yo, Taylor, wait up!”

She looked back. There was Adrien. “How’s it going today?”

“Awful,” she groaned. “You remember how I said last night was going to be nice and quiet and I’d go to bed early?”

“Yeah. Didn’t go very well?”

“No, it didn’t…”

He smiled crookedly. “That’s always how it goes, isn’t it? You say it, but then when it’s time to do it, it all just sorta falls apart.”

“Pretty much,” she said. “I ended up getting absolutely smashed and fell asleep at the kitchen table.”

“Oof. That sounds rough.”

“It was fun up until about 2, then I tanked, hard.”

“Well, at least you had fun?”

“I guess.” She opened the door to the History building. “I at least got my stuff for today done before I started knocking back shots.”

“That’s good,” he said. “I know Monaca’s gonna be doing stuff that we won’t understand if we didn’t do it.”

“Does that mean there’s no group project stuff today?”

He made an uncertain noise in his throat. “Mayyybe. Maybe not. I dunno. It’s gonna be something, but I don’t know what exactly.”

“It’s gonna be ‘something’? That’s specific. Very specific.”

He smacked her arm playfully. “Don’t knock me for not knowing. It’s not like she’ll follow the syllabus to the letter.”

“If she does, today is gonna suck.”

“I hear you, sister.”

They entered the classroom. The seats were empty, but Monaca was there at her desk, feet up, book in one hand, bottle of Snapple in the other. “Mornin’,” she greeted, not looking up from the book. “How was your weekend?”

“Saturday was okay, Sunday and Monday… ick," Maria said, sitting down. “I’ve had better days than those.”

“I didn’t really have much going on this weekend, so it was pretty meh,” Adrien said.

“Anything worth going into detail about, Maria?” Monaka asked.

“Not really. Sibling rivalry, too much to drink, the usual.”

“That’s a shame. Hope today goes better.”

“Me too.”

—

The rest of the class trickled in, looking various levels of tired and/or hungover. Apparently there had been some sort of party in one of the dorms or something. Whatever it was, it made her feel a bit better knowing she wasn’t the only one who’s head felt ready to explode.

When 9:30 hit, Monaca put down her book. “Okay, is everyone here?”

“No, we’re missing Jackson and Hannah.”

She let out a sigh. “Okay, well, we’re gonna have to start without them, I’ve got a full class’ work for you today.” She stood up. “So, let’s start with a question: I say 2050s, what comes to your brains?”

“Mazer!”

“Mazer.”

“Energy grid.”

“Mazer.”

“Teller City.”

“Energy revolution.”

Monaca smiled. “That’s what I figured. We had two presidents in the 2050s and a bunch of history happened, but most of us really only remember a few of the big things: President Mazer, Teller City, or the energy grid. I know you guys all had US History in high school, but the first half of the 21st century is a bit, ah, fuzzier in terms of analysis than the rest of the timeline. Then, of course, anything past ’64 is just too fresh off the presses to touch quite yet, and I don’t think I need to tell you why. How many of you were born before or during 2064?”

About half the class raised their hand, Maria included.

“Yup. Thought so. In general, if the people being taught about it were alive then, it’s better to avoid teaching it.” Monaca turned on the smartboard behind her. “2050s, however, are fair game, which makes me a very happy person, because that’s what I focused on when I was in college. So, this unit will be devoted entirely to going through the 2050s, with special focus on the details of what made the big changes possible. If you guys want to know what got the energy grid started, or why Mazer was so popular, or when Teller City became a hub, this is a good time to pay extra attention in class.”

“2050s 101?” someone quipped.

“2050s 202, thank you very much,” she said, grinning. “And, don’t think I forgot, anyone—”

Oh, no. No, no no no no.

Oh, and there was the rest of the class, groaning with her.

“—the group project is due on December 1st, last day of the semester. I’m going to be very generous, and give you the second hour of all the Thursday classes to work on it.”

“The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away,” Maria said through her hands.

“You’ll be fine, guys, don’t be so dramatic,” Monaca said. “And besides, you got to pick your partners, so really, you should be thanking me.”

“Thank you?” Adrien said.

“You’re welcome. Now, 2050! Let’s get started with 2050.”

—

“So basically, 2050 was 2049, except somehow even more devoid of anything important,” Maria said to Adrien as they left.

“Yeah, pretty much,” he nodded. “But it sounds like things start getting interesting in 2051.”

“I really hope so, ‘cause I’ve been a good girl and not fallen asleep in this class yet, and I don’t wanna break my streak.”

“You’re a freakin’ nerd, Maria.”

“I’m a cool nerd, you jerk, and don’t forget it.”

“Mm-hm. Whatever you say.”

“See you in English tomorrow.”

“No, German, remember?”

“Same difference!”

She waved goodbye to him, and made her way back to the parking lot. Her phone buzzed in her pocket.

Thalia: hey loser before you come back you need to go grocery shopping

Oh, so that’s how it was gonna be today?

Maria: Hey loser, when you get out of bed, you need to get in the fucking shower like I told you before I left.

Thalia: I *did*. *Gawd*

Maria: Keep up the attitude and I will kick your ass into next Wednesday. Get in the shower, now.

Thalia: I already showered! jfc

Maria: Thalia, I will not hesitate. Get. In. The. Shower.

Thalia: I. ALREADY. DID.

Maria: If you’re lying I’m taking away your computer again.

Thalia: Im so fuckin scared

Thalia: it isnt like I *showered* or anything

Thalia: unlike what my sister thinks

Maria: Keep it up, Thalia. Keep it up.

Thalia: we need cheddar and we need ketchup and we need burger patties

Maria: I hate you.

Thalia: mwah

Maria growled, shoving her phone back into her pocket. Why did little sisters have to be the most infuriating creatures on Earth?

She got in her car. “Tesla, I need to go to the grocery store before heading home today, remind me.”

“When would you like to go?” the car asked.

“No later than 15:00.”

“I will remind you at 14:00.”

“Thanks. Take me into the city, I have to meet up with John today.”

“Where are you meeting?”

“Down at that ritzy place on Columbus.”

“Giove?”

“Yeah, Giove.”

“We’ll be there in 15 minutes, with traffic.”

“Sweet.”

—

Giove was a nice Italian restaurant in San Francisco’s Little Italy. Maria saved going there for important meetings or special occasions. Today, with John… it was sort of both.

Thinking about it, it hadn’t been all that long since she saw him last. It was November 1st today, and she’d seen him in July. So that was, what, a few months? Not that long, in the grand scheme of things. John lived in New York, anyway, so getting out to see him wasn’t something they’d planned on happening frequently. When he’d called last week to suggest meeting up, she had offered to let him stay the night, but he'd declined. “Church stuff,” he’d said. Whatever that meant.

The fog was starting to burn off when she arrived, the sun shining through a small hole in the blanket of gray. It was still plenty cold for her taste, so she hurried inside and got to their table.

John showed up a few minutes later. He looked a bit better than last time: he’d gotten a neater haircut, and his facial hair was less unruly. He was wearing a button-up shirt this time, which was an interesting change. She wondered what he would look like in a three-piece suit.

“Hey there, Maria,” he said, sliding into his chair. “How are you?”

“Hoping to get rid of the last of my hangover with this lunch,” she said. “How about you?”

“The Hyperloop gives me anxiety, but less so than other modes of transport,” he said. “Other than that, nothing incredible is happening in my life.”

“That so?”

“Well, besides the obvious.”

“Right…” she said. “…I’ll get it out of the way, you and I are both thinking about election day, right?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “I’m not looking forward to it. It’s going to be one of the closest in recent history.”

“Closer than ’64, do you think?”

He frowned as he thought about it. “On an electoral level, probably not, but popularly, it’s going to be very tight. It could go either way.”

“I’ve been trying not to think about it, but… it’s hard,” she said. “I turned off my WiFi in October.”

“Same here,” he said, laughing weakly.

#NaNoWriMo #My work #My OCs

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kkoehn17 · 7 years

Text

At 4:15 a.m. my alarm went off and my eyes blinked slowly open. Waking up seemed impossible, unbearable, illogical, but somehow I dragged myself into the bathroom, turned on the surface of the sun grade light, and brushed my teeth.

It was 6:00 when I got to the airport, and everyone seemed to be thinking the same thing as me: why the hell are we here this early? followed closely by: because the adventure ahead will be worth it.

I boarded my first flight, and almost immediately after my butt hit the seat, my eyes closed. The flight attendant walked by and tapped me on the shoulder, informing me that while I was more than welcome to sleep, I was also sitting next to the emergency exit. Me and the other three people sitting in the row were required to audibly agree to our responsibilities in case of emergency, but judging how fast the lot of us fell mouths open asleep after take off, I’d say the plane was pretty lucky they didn’t need us.

On my second flight, I was sat next to a man who immediately pulled out a laptop and began furiously typing. I pulled out my copy of The Glass Castle and read the last few chapters, all the while feeling my stomach begin to churn and my fingers begin to fidget.

The first day of any vacation is the hardest for me. Expectations run rampant through my mind, promising to be let down. I knew my best friend was waiting patiently for me on the other side of this flight and I worried that the stories I’d been waiting to tell her wouldn’t be interesting or exciting enough. What if the distance between us had made us grow apart? What if this trip wasn’t everything we’d been hoping it would be?

The captain came on the intercom and announced our initial descent into Redmond, Oregon, and for a split second I wished I could stay on the plane forever, free from all the responsibilities to satisfy, impress and succeed that awaited me on the ground. But before I knew it, the wheels hit the pavement and the plane rolled to a stop. I walked through the terminal to the baggage claim, knowing there was no turning back now.

When I stepped outside, I saw my best friend, Allison, waiting by her car, her dog Jersey’s head poking out of the back seat. A wave of relief washed over me as we made a series of nerdy jumps and squeals to close the distance between us and initiate the hug we’d been waiting 6 months for.

“How are you?!” she said, and her voice in my ear was a startling reminder that she was no longer a text message or an email or a late night notification on Instagram, she was a living breathing person that I call my best friend, and we had finally been reunited.

“So we have an interesting afternoon ahead of us,” she said once I got in the car.

“Tell me more.”

Being a producer for a news station in Bend, Oregon, and the girlfriend of an anchor for a rivaling news station, Allison had been challenged to race her boyfriend—and fight for her channel’s honor—in a heated, balls out, tricycle race.

We stopped by her house for a quick change of clothes, she squatted and mimed tricycle riding motions to ensure she’d chosen a good pair of pants, and then we drove into town, where the Bend Oktoberfest—sure, it was September and we were a bit confused, but we won’t talk about it—was in full swing.

Beer steins were in every hand, pretzels crumbs were on every face and there was one very bold man sporting lederhosen. We took a seat on the bleachers that sandwiched the 200ft tricycle course and, alongside Allison’s boyfriend Mike, stared at the incredibly small tricycles, wondering how on earth either of them would not only fit aboard, but operate them in a way that would lead to success.

The first heat of racers left the starting line, giving life to every fear we had. Grown men leaned and wobbled and one woman let out a terrified squeal. Allison and Mike shared a glance, then took their places in line, fitted themselves with a helmet, and shrugged at me with a “here goes nothing.”

In the end, neither of them came out on top. While Allison finished in a close 2nd place, Mike’s long legs proved to be his greatest enemy and a resounding reminder that he was in fact an adult trying to operate a children’s bike. We all shrugged a collective shrug, then agreed that pizza was the obvious next step.

Mod Pizza, which is a build it yourself Pie-ology/PizzaRev equivalent, proved to be the ultimate right choice for our lunching festivities. I ordered a chicken, corn, tomato, red onion and feta masterpiece, then allowed myself to be tempted by the “no name cakes” that sit next to the cash register.

Tip: Always get the No Name Cake. It’s like a freshly made Ding Dong that your taste buds need.

Back at Allison’s house, we took a seat on the couch and let the conversation start flowing. We covered the topics that sat just below the surface, shared a few current music obsessions, and looked out the window at the impending fall weather.

At 5:30, we drove over to see Mike’s 6 o’clock show, where he Ron Burgundy-ed Bend’s latest news. Allison and I sat off camera, a mere 50 feet from him, in fold up chairs. She watched with trained eyes, all too familiar with the format and production of a newscast, and I sat with my hands in tight fists, worried I might accidentally scream or sneeze or pass out and ruin the show.

Afterwards, the three of us drove out to The Bite in Tumalo, which is essentially a corner street park converted into a homey picnic area with food carts, a fire pit, corn hole, and a bar with a ton of beers on tap. We all ate at Ronin Sushi & Japanese Grill, which, bottom line was delicious, but listen to me and listen to me now. Do yourself a favor and order the Bento Box with the Japanese fried chicken. Listen to me when I tell you that anything else is a mistake. Listen to me when I tell you that while I’d previously never heard of Japanese fried chicken, it’s also safe to say I was previously living a dark and dingy life. Also, from the bar, I’d recommend the Atlas Blackberry Cider, it tastes like the mature, has-their-shit-together-cousin of red wine.

Once we were thoroughly full, though not even close to finished harping on the magic that is JFC—Japanese fried chicken, a.k.a the new, improved and as far as I’m concerned ONLY colonel of protein I’d like to associate with—Mike headed back to work to prepare for the late show and Allison and I went to McMenamins.

Now, if I had a way to explain McMenamins briefly, I would, but I feel as though that would be both dishonest to you and a disservice to McMenamins. On their Facebook page, they tag themselves as related to pubs, breweries, historic hotels, concert venues, wineries, distilleries, coffee roasters, movie theaters, golf, and spas, and honestly that should tell you everything you need to know about this place, which is that you’ll probably never know everything there is to know about this place.

Allison took me through an outdoor cigar lounge and into a building with dark carpet and wood paneled walls.

“We’re going to find the secret bar,” she said, “but first you have to find all the other secret rooms.”

I looked up and down the hallways, seeing nothing out of the ordinary, then I looked back at her.

“The only clue I’m going to give you is blue light,” she said.

And while I’d love to be the spiller of all secrets, Internet, this is the only clue I will leave you with as well. Just know that it is actually a great clue and that there are hidden doors among the wood paneled walls that lead you into rooms like this:

As well as a hidden bar that will give you some major speakeasy feels upon discovery.

I’d like to say I Sherlocked my way through every puzzle and celebrated with a beer at the top, but unfortunately a handful of people in front of us ended up giving away a bunch of the secrets. So after checking in at the secret bar, we made our back down to the car and over to Bonta Gelato. Allison and I both got waffle cones full of goodness—I recommend the Vanilla Bourbon Pecan!—and cheers-ed to the first day of our adventure. We’d already done so much, and we still had so much to come.

A Late September Adventure (Day 1: Bend, OR) At 4:15 a.m. my alarm went off and my eyes blinked slowly open. Waking up seemed impossible, unbearable, illogical, but somehow I dragged myself into the bathroom, turned on the surface of the sun grade light, and brushed my teeth.

#adventure #atlas blackberry cider bend #bend oktoberfest #bend oregon #blogging #bonta gelato bend #fun #life #mcmenamins bend #mod pizza bend #places #ronin sushi japanese grill #the bite tumalo #travel blog

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