#my head hurts and so do my eyes

[claraoswalds]

The Girl Who Died // Hell Bent

#dwedit #doctor who #usertennant #userveronika #userteri #twelfth doctor #clara oswald #doctor x clara #twelveclara #* #I'M SICK OF LOSING PEOPLE. LOOK AT YOU WITH YOUR EYES AND YOUR NEVER GIVING UP AND YOUR ANGER AND YOUR KINDNESS. #ONE DAY THE MEMORY OF THAT WILL HURT SO MUCH THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATHE AND I'LL DO WHAT I ALWAYS DO. #I'LL GET IN MY BOX AND I'LL RUN AND I'LL RUN IN CASE ALL THE PAIN EVER CATCHES UP. AND EVERY PLACE I GO IT WILL BE THERE. #anyway idk if this makes sense outside of my head but the journey between like #she might meet someone she can't bear to lose -> gives her a second repair kit so she can make someone else immortal too -> #he can't bear to lose clara -> he brings her back from the dead which makes her functionally immortal -> #look how far i went for fear of losing you #ok actually i need to make a full parallel set. someone remind me to do that

[mattodore]

he's waiting on a call he's planning to send straight to voicemail

#sorry matthias </3 maybe he'll pick up the next time you try calling............ <- me when i lie #river dipping #ts4 #ts4 edit #gifs #theodore doe #echthroi #hi friends and lovers hope everyone's doing well <3 #i got my old laptop to work so i have a laptop again even if the battery on it is messed up #but still #i haven't been online much bc i've started getting dizzy from staring at computer/phone screens for too long #and in particular the act of scrolling either on mobile or desktop makes my head spin and my eyes hurt :/ #but i powered through it yesterday so i could get in game with theo (and matthias) since i missed him really bad... oc plague be upon ye #i took... well. like five hundred screenshots and forty videos... i was in the soup. the mattodore soup. what can i say? #i don't like posting too much on here bc. i'm crazy (<- has avpd) so i probably won't post much from yesterday's fun here #but i'll post whatever i want on pillowfort <3 pic of jerma holding out his hand captioned let's take mattodore together #what else should i say before leaving... right my inbox... well i'll get to it eventually <- have been saying this since october sorry #but okay i've been staring at my screen too long so i need to go lay down for a bit #enjoy theo in motion!! if you’re a theo-head like myself #theodite à la jermamite? hm. its in the works. i’m workshopping. #mentioning jerma twice in these tags… busting a cyanide pill onto my tongue i’ve said too much #i have to go now mwah mwah mwah bye warmth and love to you mwah

[thermodynamic-comedian]

listen. i do not ever want anything bad to happen to lena kelley. however i do want her to, at some point, be in so much distress that someone has to comfort her. do you understand.

#and i want that someone to be alice. DO YOU UNDERSTAND. #if i speak... #ive been calling them alina #in my head #which i think is cute #what if our names combined into a real first name...and we were both girls.... #anyways yeah. #save me alina hurt/comfort...alina hurt/comfort save me.... #i want lena to collapse into alice's arms and cry about how she's been so tired. so scared. so alone. for all these years. #about how many people she's watched die right in front of her eyes. people she cared about. #about how she knows alice and sam and gwen and colin and celia aren't save either. #and that she's so scared she'll one day have to watch them die too #i want alice to try to crack jokes. to try to lighten the mood a little. #but eventually she gives up and just. holds lena close to her. as close as possible. #and she promises that she'll be here. always. #that others might leave but she'll stay. #a comforting constant. #AUGH IM SO UNWELL ABOUT THEM #tmagp #the magnus protocol #lena kelley

[b4kuch1n]

haha! bit ill

#bakuspeech #delete later #I definitely don't have a fever my forehead doesn't feel that hot (thermometer shows 38.6 degree c) well #this is a bit of a high fever for a cold I think. so I might be in for the A virus goin around rn #Ive headed it of when my throat started hurting so Im not coughing a lot #and the guideline says stay home until I get worried. and I made my own food today so Im not worried yet lol #but yeah tldr: sick. not a major chance of it getting worse but I'm keepin an eye on it #so uh. wont be talking much for the next week probably! not that I say a lot nowadays lmao #dont worry about me. I do miss drawing tho have to sit out of drawing yet again.... auuuu #cool story I'll tell u guys later. not now tho I gotta lay down probably #okay alright have a good night lads #we strong! we're strong! we chill n we'll get thru this

[mod2amaryllis]

maaaaaan! Sarge died :(( he was fine this morning, then just now went down and he was gone... parameters are ok so idk, it could've been classic random betta death. (i do have a weird theory after looking at his body but it's so hard to know...)

I'm just so sad...i made him his beautiful 10g and he never ever got to live in it. swim in peace little dude i wish I'd known you longer :'(

#ok weird theory is yucky so don't read if you're squeamish #his tank has a ton of string algae. i found his body tangled up in it #like he'd died at the surface and floated down into a mess of algae #his fins were slightly eaten by snails but body completely intact. nothing weird on body. #the weirdness... was his eye 😬 #one eye was pulled out of his head and wrapped in algae almost like a lasso #i wonder if he somehow..??? caught his eye in some algae and died struggling to get out??? #I've never in my life heard of a fish getting hurt by algae so maybe not but it was the only thing i found on him out of the ordinary #i always check my dead fish. for the bettas i don't do a full necropsy for parasites since they live alone but i do look them over #maaan..... #once again the intended occupant for the last tank on the betta rack dies 😞 starting to feel haunted #m2a #fish tag

[s0fter-sin]

youth by daughter is 09 soap in mw3, bitter and defeated after losing ghost, talking to 22 soap who’s so hopeful and secretly in love with his lieutenant

#just mw3 soap being broken after losing his entire team as well as ghost #talking to 22 soap who still has everything and is so full of love it almost makes 09 sick with grief #its a blend of him talking to 22 soap and almost warning him #‘and if youre still breathing youre the lucky ones. cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs’ #‘and if youre still bleeding youre the lucky ones. cause most of our feelings they are dead and they are gone’ #‘well ive lost it all im just a silhouette’ #‘and if youre in love then you are the lucky one cause most of us are bitter over someone. setting fire to our insides for fun #to distract our hearts from ever missing them. but im forever missing him’ #as well as him talking to his ghost #‘shadows settle on the place that you left. our minds are troubled by the emptiness’ #‘destroy the middle its a waste of time. from the perfect start to the finish line’ #‘my eyes are damp from the words you left ringing in my head when you broke my chest’ #theres a fic by m1ckstar i think? something like that #about soap worshipping price and him just slowly losing it after he comes back and breaks his perception of him as a god #and mourning ghost at the same time #and i never shouldve read bc fuck if it didnt hurt #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #talk to me ghost #soapghost #ghostsoap #09 soapghost #09 soap #09 ghost #soap cod #soap mactavish #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #we’re a team. ghost team

[coquelicoq]

raksura for the ask meme?

YAY

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most) moon was designed in a lab to appeal to me personally, so. it's about the trust issues!

scrunkly (my "baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped) the sky copper clutch!! traumatized children imprinting on a guy with baby fever is usually what i go to fanfic for so to have it right there in canon? incredible. i love all of frost's little tantrums and idk, just the way that she claims moon as her family in a way that has nothing to do with court politics? she's like, we're your clutch, obviously. and this is our court because it's your court, and all the other jabronis who live here are on thin ice. she's ready to throw down with moon's wife/the government at all hours of the day and she's like six years old. i love that moon has that energy in his life even though he personally is pretty confused and exhausted by it lol.

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave) it's hard out here for an ember stan because he is in so few scenes relative to the space he occupies in my psyche! i need 5000% more interactions between him and moon. him and stone. him and shade. him and river. him and the teachers. him and the clutches. him and jade and balm and chime. oh my god him and malachite? him and celadon? him and delin??

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week) niran. i'm always up for a "longsuffering ship captain resigns himself to another restless night of hearing gigantic shapeshifters with incredible stamina fuck nasty on the roof of his cabin" moment. technically i have never been in that exact situation, but i feel like i can relate.

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave) river who is CLASSIC poor little meow meow territory like yes his whole personality is being a grade A asshole and sure he tries to kill my blorbo a few times, but once you get to know him he's so sad and pathetic that i'm kind of like okay where can i sign up to defend him from the largely factual aspersions of his dozens of quite frankly justified haters? he'd hate that. the good shit 👌

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason) stone. every time he crankily says "why did i ever reproduce" upon finding himself entangled in yet another ridiculous clusterfuck thanks to one of his hundreds of idiot great-great-great-great-great grandchildren, an angel gets its wings. he's depressed and antisocial but he can't totally check out because he has to mediate relationship issues between his dumbass relatives. love that for him.

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell) malachite but specifically because malachite would not be scared of superhell. she'd skulk around being invisible, maybe fuck some shit up if she felt like it, and leave when she got bored. she probably makes it like. opal night's sister city or something. and nobody in the court is at all phased. yeah that's our reigning queen who recently got back from vacation in superhell. she does that. she says it's relaxing.

#yooo thank you for asking for this one!! i had already started thinking about it because river is like. plmms of all time for me #he's the platonic ideal of a plmm in my book #books of the raksura #asks #anon #every few months i check the ember ao3 tag to see if there are any new fics and there hardly ever are. but i live in hope #the moon-ember diplomatic attache tag team would be off the chain. it's all i would ever think about #ember was raised to be an imperial consort in a harem drama and he gets there and the empress is just like. #a deadly grizzly bear with no table manners who loves children and can't read and gets his feelings hurt really easily #moon tells him a bedtime story the second time they meet and ember is like #wow i love you. i'd die for you. if you'll be my bodyguard i can be your long-lost anger translator #a match made in heaven 🥰 #meanwhile moon is picking up on none of this and is like. well i guess nobody's going to want me anymore now that they have #a REAL consort. he even knows how to pour tea. bastard. but i have to look out for him because he's so young and innocent. dammit #but if anyone actually needs to be looked out for in the cutthroat world of court politics it's moon. and ember is the one who can do that #i love the idea of indigo cloud needing moon to fulfill some diplomatic function and everyone knowing that the only way #to get him to agree is to send ember to point his big sad eyes at him #ember likes to hang out in moon's bower just dressing him up like a doll. moon submits to this with resigned forbearance #if anyone else tries it he bites off their entire head

[dungeons-and-dragon-age]

oughh......

#laya plays dragon age #da2 #oc: liam hawke #this happened a bit ago already & i wanted to draw sth for it but idk if i will finish that #but i gotta yell abt them anyway because OGH. #i have a lot of emotions about this quest ok #bartrand was the perfect scapegoat he was perfect to direct all the rage and pain at all these years #years of imagining gleeful revenge while bartrand is gloating and laughing like an evil soulless bastard #and then you meet him and he is just. a pathetic husk of a man with barely any own will left #and whats worse. varric is so so torn up about it #varric. the guy who never makes anything about him and who will always handwave and joke when something hits too close to home #drops all efforts to be smart and is just. desperate. begs hawke to not kill his brother #and liam wants to want bartrand dead so bad. he wishes he could look him in the eye and enjoy taking his life #and he knows varric will listen to him if he insisted. he knows when it comes down it it varric will yield to his decision #but he sees this broken guy who is barely the villain he kept projecting onto him and he sees varric and he sees two doomed siblings #and knows what its like to lose your sibling to your own blade #and he cant do it #and he hates it so much. but he wont do it. #and its the reason why i cant decide who dealt the killing blow for bethany bc it makes this scene juicy in different ways #if varric kills bethy its equally wanting to spare each other their siblings blood on their hands #as it is taking some form of revenge (on liams part). we both killed each others siblings. now we are even #the revenge part would still be there if liam did the blow on bethany himself. you made me do that and now i will take bartrand for it #but its also much more i know what its like. i wont make go through that too #if varric killed bethy and then also bartrand it would be more #''its my fault she is dead. i will take the revenge she/you deserves if you tell me to even though it will hurt me #dunno. all good variations i will. have to rotate them in my head more #or maybe just never decide idk they can be in canon limbo forever #anyways thats it for shouting into the void about them for now it Will happen again

[insurged]

one liner starter call? maybe? (ᵔ◡ᵔ)

#because i literally can't write long things right now #my head hurts so bad LMFAO #i apologize i haven't been here i've been sick #i am getting better though :3c #and i do want to write things but i don't think i can do #long replies at the moment sorry >_< #i'm sorry if you're waiting for asks or starters from me #but if you want to start some interactions right now :eye emoji: #you can either pick the muse or i can pick for you if you don't specify it's all good #* ⟢ 𝐎𝐎𝐂 ━ ( clench your asshole super tight & scream it from your heart )

[nashishishi]

i never truly realized just how long creating character designs for shows, games, comics, etc takes because i've only ever made characters on a whim and never really for the purpose of a story or even with the intention of uploading it to the internet. a handful of designs that originally only took a week or two to make in total is now taking months to revise and remake and improve upon because i've decided to flesh out the universe they're part of. it's actually insane to me, the person designing, how many times i've gone back over the same drafts, how many times i've erased something only to add it back again, all the actual fucking DAYS i've spent deciding on the tiniest details. every shape and line and specific shade of a color has to be intentional. there has to be some in-universe reason behind it. someone will look at what i made and scrutinize every little detail of it. these aren't just characters that i'm making anymore, these are people. i'm just the writer of these people's biographies.

and it's still taking less time and thought and effort to make than most professionally made character designs.

#not that any of this is bad #i'm actually really enjoying doing this #i just realized that this will be the rest of my life as an artist if i choose to continue like this #my back and arms hurt from sitting down for so long #and my fingers have blisters from drawing for so long #and my eyes are sore from looking at a screen for so long #and my head hurts from all the finding inspiration and coming up with new ideas and actually executing those ideas that i do now #but finally making something that looks exactly how you imagined it would is the best feeling in the world tbh #so all the time and pain put into this dumb au project is worth it #n44_am #it's not actually even past midnight yet but i thought of this in the shower so i feel like it counts

[spaciebabie]

good morning im still fucking deranged. sorry. feel free to ignore this if its too much

im thinking about springtrap being so blissed out he becomes really giggly and shameless, just agreeing with anything you say and asking for more and pleading with you every time you stop for a second, either to give your hands a break or just to tease him. and this is so far from how he normally tries to present himself that it's both kind of amusing and endearing, and EXTREMELY satisfying to bring him to that point, to think that YOU are doing that to him, YOU are reducing the big scary monster to a melty giggling puddle. rgrhhagrhgashDGGERRHFHDGRRRRGRGRRRRRRRRRR IM GOING TO START BARKING

do not even get me started on the springlocks. it's about the closeness. the intimacy. the psychological aspect of getting pleasure out of the thing that killed you. it's about the DANGER, yanking your hands away before they snap closed and savoring his reaction. it's about the sensation being so much and hurting a little bit but feeling so good. it's about letting someone do that to you. it's about trusting them with that. i have this specific scrap of dialogue that is running CIRCLES in my head rn of him saying "it hurts..." in this dazed tone and replying with "do you want me to stop?" and he goes "...no" and then i rock his fucking world. DO YOU SEE MY VISION

wow who said all that aha must have been a gnome

you and me bro......we shaking hands cuz holy SHIT YOU GET IT YOU FUCKING GET IT. BIUG SCARY MONSTER DUDE REDUCED TA JUST A WRITHING GIGGLY PILE OF PLEASURE OH MY GODDD YOU GET IT YOU UNDERSTAND

#SPRINGLOCK FUCKING FRP THE WIN OHHH MY GOD #THIS ASK MADE MY HEAD SPIN IT MADE MY HEAD POP CLEAN OFF MY FUCKING BODY #GONNA USE IT AS A BOWLING BALL AND WHOOPSIE!! STRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CUZ YOU'RE RIGHT ON THE FUCKING MONEY #spacie splains #ITS ABOUT HIM FEELING PLEASUIRE FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 30 YEARS ITS ABOUT THE TRUST ITS ABOUT HIM WANTING AND BEGGINF FOR IT #ITS ABOUT IT HURTING BUT HURTING SO GOOD IMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM #OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD #I HAVE TO PACE ABOUT THIS....I NEED TO GET UP AND WALK AROUND. #fave ask #fave fave fave #fave #dont mind meeee coming back ta this ask every once in awhile b/c YOU PAINT A BEAUTIFUL PICTURE #I SEE YOUR VISION IM IN YOUR MIND YOU'RE CASTING YOUR BRAINWAVES ON THE WALL THRU YOUR EYES LIKE #A GODDAMN PROJECTOR #NEED TO EAT DRYWALL ABPOUT THIS IM GONNA TAKE A BITE OUT OF MY WALL #YES!!! BIG SCARY GUY PERSONA FUCKING SHRIVELS WHEN YOU'RE AROUND YES!!!!!!!1 YOU MAKE HIM SOFT YOU MAKE HIM VULNERABLE!!!!!!!!!!! #im gonna be sickkkk imSO FUCKING SICK #best ask ive ever gotten about this. SERIOUS. #IM SERIOUS BUSINESS ABOUT FUCKING THAT OLD MAN #''do you want me to stop?'' ''...no.'' sLAMS MY FUCKING HEAD ON THE TAB #RAAAAAAAAAAAARHAGRHAGRAHGRHHGAGRHAGHRGAHRGHARGHAGRHAGRGAHGR4 #SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMS #SCREAMS #SCREAMS SCREAMS