#my glasses were broken prior to this and I had been putting off gluing them again so it’s really dumb and really my fault

[kyuublu]

Haunt me

Toji Fushiguro x reader (she/her)

Neighbor AU - angst

note: the bold passages are flashbacks + Megumi is an only child in this one lol

song inspo: How to dissapear - Lana Del Rey

Blue skies and big fields of green; the road had always stayed the same, y/n noticed as she left the bus. Once the young women made her way home, she took in all the familiar sights she hadn’t seen in years. She had missed walking through the familiar streets, despite disliking her home town when she was younger, since it didn’t have anything really interesting for teenagers around her age. There were no clubs, cool stores, really anything that was rebellious or at least didn’t look like it was owned by a 70-year-old man. Everything always stayed the same.

Y/n’s footsteps came to a halt, right before the door of her own home. Subconsciously turning her head to the side, she was suddenly aware of the presence that stood further away. The familiar figure leaned against the railing of his porch, back turned to her as he focused on something in his hands. Toji Fushiguro.

Had he stayed the same too?

For a moment, y/n had thought about greeting him but was interrupted by the sudden opening of the door infront of her.

“Y/n! Why didn’t you knock? Oh, come here-“ The older lady put her arms around her daughter lovingly and pulled them inside.

“I made a bunch of your favorites, but there are going to take a bit more time.” She pointed at the stove as both of them entered the kitchen.

“Where’s dad?”

Her mom rolled her eyes at the thought of her stubborn husband, they apparently had argued about the maintenance of their garden a couple of hours prior. Y/n chuckled at her mothers’ frustration, but went to look for her dad on her own, since her mom seemed too busy with cooking. After greeting him and exchanging a couple of words, the daughter convinced him to let her mow the lawn. “But you better not break it again like the first time!” The man teased playfully, earning an eyeroll from y/n as she ushered him inside.

“Damn it-“

Muttering under her breath, the girl almost kicked the device infront of her in a fit of rage. The lawnmower had suddenly been stuck before she could really even start, and was now only a rattling mess.

“Fuck...” She sighed one more time, putting her hand lazily on her hip and the other over her eyes, shielding her from the sun.

“For a young lady, ya do seem to swear alot.”

Y/n whipped her head towards the strangers’ voice, almost gasping as she realized who the voice had belonged to. He was the husband of the new family that had moved next to their house a few weeks ago. Before that encounter she hadn’t seen him up close, but now his appearance immediately burned itself into her brain. He was handsome, not the kind of handsome that she had seen from popular boys in school or the hollywood actors on tv, but the attraction she had to him felt a thousand times better.

“I- uhm-“ The girl stuttered as she avoided his eyes, only to look back at the problem at hand.

“It’s broken.” She pointed at the lawnmower dumbfounded, smacking herself internally at the way she was behaving like a 7-year-old.

“Let’s see if I can help, shall we?” A confident smile appeared on the mans’ face, making the girl’s knees even weaker, before he approached the device. He had quickly figured out the problem and got rid of the piece that had been stuck inside the lawnmower, but continued talking to y/n casually, throwing in a joke or two.

“I’m Toji by the way, but I’m guessing your dad already told you about us.”

She watched as the dark haired man held his hand out to her. His politeness felt strange from the start, as if he was playing a character in a movie and she couldn’t quite figure out why.

“What was your name again?”

“Y/n.” The girl shakily took his hand, getting even more nervous at the roughness that was contrasting her own.

“I also wanted to ask ya something - my wife has been buggin’ me about it for days now. Are ya any good with kids?”

That day Toji had asked her if she could babysit his 5-year old son, since he had a job that required to be available at any moment and his wife had to take night shifts at the hospital. Y/n agreed to it without any question, since her dad had taken a liking to the family and she wanted to earn some money on the side. She had just graduated in that same year and wasn’t sure as to what her next step should be in life or what her future looked like really. But right now, the man walking away from her seemed like the best distraction from the dull routine she had been used to.

Shortly after y/n finished the rest of the lawn, her mom waved her inside to eat. The dinner had tasted better than ever, y/n thought as she greedily dug into her plate and asked her mom for more. The older lady only chuckled at her antics, appreciating the sentiment behind it though.

“I really wouldn’t have thought you’d go through with it, honestly.” Her father spoke with his usual sarcastic tone as he watched his daughter take another plate full of food.

“With college? Yeah, I guess I understand what you mean. I’ve always been the lazy type.”

Y/n knew her dad well enough not to argue with him about what he believed his daughter was like. He only knew what she had let him see, and three years ago that had been an 18-year-old girl that took a year off to stay at her parents home without any plans or direction. Only she herself knew that lazyness hadn’t been the real issue, it was her fear of growing up and failing. Before they could dig any deeper into the topic, the daughter decided to ask about the one thing that had been stuck in her mind since she had seen Toji on the porch.

“So, how are the Fushiguro’s doing?” She casually picked at the food on her plate.

“I thought I’ve told you on the phone already? About Toji’s wife and kid.” The mother looked at her child in disbelief until she saw the genuine confusion in her eyes and started explaining.

“His wife died almost a year ago. She became very sick all of a sudden and then it just happened so quickly. Toji hasn’t really been the same since.”

Y/n’s eyes widened in shock, she couldn’t comprehend the fact that something did change so drastically around here, and it hat happened to the family she had wished it upon the least.

“W-What about Megumi?”

Ms.L/n eyes locked with her husband’s, both of their heads hanging a bit lower now.

“Toji gave him away for adoption. He didn’t seem to be in the right state of mind to be handling a child on his own after an incident like that.” The daughter only nodded her head slowly at her dads’ words, as she remembered the big pouty cheeks on that little boys’ face three years ago and his mother that had the same big blue eyes.

Since the very first time y/n had visited the Fushiguros’ house, the wife had always been extremely caring and sweet towards her, reassuring her that she’d be a great babysitter (and even mother someday, which always made her cringe a little). Eventhough she wanted to be grateful, she felt a tinge of jealousy, almost resentment towards her. The woman was beautiful in every way posssible and even stood up against her husband plenty of times, never doubting her confidence once - Y/n had been the complete opposite.

Especially confrontation was something she had always struggled with, even feeling bad when she overheard some of the fights that the Fushiguro’s had occasionally.

One night when y/n had been taking care of the little boy again, Toji came home earlier than expected, leaving her a bit taken back at the sudden appearance. Thankfully, Megumi had already been asleep at this point, making it easier for the parent to just arrive home without worrying about the whole putting him to bed routine. He had walked straight pass her, only muttering a short “Hey” before grabbing a beer and sitting down on the couch. The girl recalled the fight before the couple both headed off to work but didn’t expect to have to deal with his mood already.

What was she supposed to say to a man twice her age that was visibly pissed, sitting on the couch that she was supposed to sleep on tonight. She could only stare at the back of his head helplessly, wondering if she should just change into her normal clothes again and leave.

“Are ya gonna stand there all day?”

Y/n’s eyes snapped back to the man, as he streched one of his arms over the back of the couch.

“No, I just thought-“ Stopping herself from ending the sentence, she thought about actually engaging in conversation with him. The girl didn’t have the chance nor the guts to talk to him completely alone yet, since he always kept his ‘nice neighbor facade’ up around other people. Stepping closer to the couch, she could feel herself getting more tense. She knew Toji wasn’t going to give her much attention, since he hadn’t ever given her any signs of actually liking her in any way, but somehow the girl couldn’t overlook the weird tension. Once y/n settled down a bit further away from him, she noticed his eyes had been glued to her since she’d walked over.

“Wasn’t too hard now was it?”

He muttered with a slight smirk, before taking a swig of his drink. Y/n let out a nervous chuckle before leaning back more comfortably.

Just stay cool.

“So, I heard you’ve graduated not too long ago, congratulations.” It was more of a statement than a question but she still answered nonetheless.

“Yeah it’s crazy, actually- I also turned 19 a week ago too. Everything is going by so fast now.” She cringed at herself once she heard the deeple chuckle from the man beside her.

Why would you tell him that? Your age of all things?

“Well, why are ya still stuck here then? Ya should be out there in the world, not in this shithole.” Toji had his eyes back on the bottle as he tapped his finger on the dark colored glass.

“Or is a boyfriend of yours keeping ya here?” Glancing to the side teasingly, he leaned in a bit closer, making the girl’s heartbeat race even more.

“No! I’m j-just...” Y/n shook her head, staring at him with big eyes until she mumbled out

“I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Raising his eyebrows, he really began acknowledging her presence. The way she acted more shy around him and always seemed to be shaking a bit, making her look like a scared little puppy. Then he noticed her clothes, or rather lack there of. “What? Don’t tell me a pretty girl like you didn’t get chased by the guys at ya school.”

Does he really think I’m pretty?

Y/n almost held her breath once he lowered his eyes down her figure, remembering now that she was only wearing a top, without a bra, and shorts to sleep in, because summer had just started and the temperatures felt like hell at night.

“Not really, I guess I just wasn’t anyone’s type.”

The girl let out a nervous chuckle yet again, her body feeling like it was overheating and her brain was about to explode at any moment. It only worsened once the dark haired man loosened his arm on the couch and bend it towards her face, his hand slowly pulling a piece of hair behind her ears. Their eyes locked for what felt like an eternity; She couldn’t get enough of this feeling.

“Too bad.”

Y/n waited for something more, anything to explain what he had meant, but got startled by the sudden ringing in her pocket.

“A-ah uhm, sorry-“

She quickly picked up the phone, only to be bombarded by questions from her father. Eventually she ended the call and turned back to Toji, who still hadn’t looked away from her.

“I have to go. My dad he- he thought that I wasn’t going to babysit tonight and now he’s kind of mad, so...”

The man nodded understandingly until a smirk appeared on his face, as if he had just read her thoughts for a moment.

“I guess ya can’t keep me company then, huh?”

Y/n only shook her head, almost sighing in frustration. Tonight had already felt like a dream, but a way too short one.

Cleaning the dishes had always been a task assigned to y/n since she could remember, but hoped that she could’ve escape tonight. Sadly not though - making her the last one to go to bed. She dragged her feet up the stairs that led to her old bedroom but stopped before falling into the soft pillows. Instinctively the woman looked out her window, only to catch a glimpse of the one across from hers. Before the Fushiguro’s had moved in, it had always bugged her that the neighbors view directly faced her room. Her mom had always warned her daughter to close the curtains as much as possible and change in the bathroom instead, but like most teenagers often do - she didn’t listen, or just wasn’t planning on walking back to the bathroom for every time she had to change her clothes. But y/n did remembered the first time she had changed infront of the window on purpose.

With only a towel draped around her body, the girl quickly peaked at the neighbors house as she stood with her back to the wall. She had panicked at first, seeing the husband leaning against the window frame, a cigarette hanging on the side of his lips. Y/n didn’t know if he had seen her walk in with the towel but she was intrigued by his sight, the way he had just casually leaned forward, as the thick smoke escaped his lips. Without thinking any further she stepped away from the wall and infront of the window, her back turned towards the dark haired man on the other side.

Was he going to notice? Would he even want to see her like this?

Dropping the towel and slowly putting on the underwear that was layed out on her bed, she kept imagining what he might’ve looked like in that moment. Thousands of pictures would pop up in her head until she couldn’t help but want to see for herself. Her head moved on it’s own, as she turned it to the side, only to see that the figure was gone.

Y/n blinked a couple of times, utterly confused on how to feel, should she have wanted this? This was exactly the opposite of thing’s a girl of her age should feel excited about, but she couldn’t deny that the tiny bit inside of her that wanted him to watch, wanted to be desired by him - had been disappointed.

Y/n tossed and turned, never seeming to find any rest from her constant thinking. She couldn’t’ help but feel bad about disappearing from the small town, even though there had never been any reason for her to stay in the first place - there hadn’t been any jobs that would have been interesting to her, no new people to connect to. The deep heavy weighing feeling inside of her told her the opposite though, probably resulting in a restless and never ending night of overthinking.

I have to see him. Sitting up, her buzzing head turned to the side, she considered going with the idea that had popped into her head momentarily.

Y/n let out a huff, putting on the robe that had been draped over the chair in the corner of the room (and took the keys with her, of course) and made her way downstairs carefully, each step creaking slightly under her shaking feet. Fleeting moments of feeling like a teenager again went through her mind; even though she had rarely snuck out of the house back then, the young woman had only wished that those years would’ve been that exciting. Shrugging at the thought, she finally stood infront of the door of her home, opening it slowly. As her hands pushed the wooden surface back, she slipped through and looked to the side, towards the house she hadn’t stepped foot in in 3 years. Suddenly the pace of her heart quickened, not only by the thought of seeing the older man again, but by the figure that was leaving the house at that moment. Y/n squinted until she recognized that it hadn’t been Toji leaving the house. The long black hair immediately made her perk up and lean back, she didn’t want to be noticed by the guy - even though he might’ve been easier to approach than the man sitting in that very house next door.

It had been in the middle of the day that Mrs.Fushiguro called the young woman. Y/n had the spare time of course and agreed to come over, happy to see the little boy and maybe even catch a second to talk with Toji again. She hadn’t seen him often after that night and couldn’t quite place yet what the dark haired man thought of her now. How was she supposed to behave around him? Groaning in frustration the girl began walking towards the house, but as the door opened, the student began slowing down. An unknown man, visibly younger than the parents that lived in the house, suddenly locked eyes with her. Y/n imagined him to be around around his mid-tenties, which made her curious - Toji didn’t ever seem to invite any guests over, so why would he choose to be around a guy that young?

The stranger smiled politely, which she only returned while approaching the porch he had been standing on.

“Don’t tell me Toji has another kid he didn’t tell me about.”

Thrown off by the sudden comment, y/n’s eyes widened as she snapped her head back to the stranger. The mans’ soft laugh made her feel more at ease, ultimately making her laugh too.

“No, I’m just the babysitter slash next door neighbor.”

“I’m Geto Suguru, it’s nice to meet you.”

His smile was smug but sweet, she noted. Before Geto could leave, the girl spoke up once again, the curiosity getting the best of her.

“How do you know the family? Do you work for them too?”

The man turned, giving her his full attention.

“Oh, god no I’d never work for that idiot.” He chuckled yet again, shaking his head in the process. “I am a colleague of Toji. Sometimes I just come around, since he does have a charm that I can’t resist, you know.”

By the looks of it he had only made a joke, but to y/n, that only chuckled in response, the vibe had felt off.

“What do you do exactly? I’m not trying to pry or anything, but Mr.Fushiguro has never really told me about it, so...”

Geto quirked a brow, he had caught a slight glimpse of her in that moment that almost gave her intentions away - but he looked past it, she seemed too young to actually be interested in Toji’s personal life. “We work at a workshop not too far from here, repairing cars and all that. It’s probably not something worth mentioning to be honest.”

The girl infront of him didn’t believe a word. She didn’t have any evidence not to, but the way he talked had been so sugarcoated, that she couldn’t help but feel suspicious of him. “You’re probably right, I don’t know a thing about cars.”

Smiling innocently at the guy, she slowly began turning back to the entrance of the house.

“Well I’ll see you around then.”

Geto only held up a hand smoothly, smiling yet again - which only confirmed what y/n had been thinking this whole time. This man was too much of a flirt, a smooth talker to be around someone like Toji as a normal friend. It only raised the question as to why the father always seemed to avoided talking about his job, and what the hell it had to do with this Geto guy. Y/n shook her head lightly until she was met with the devil himself.

“Right on time as always, mh?”

Toji’s smirk only drew her eyes down his face, making her noticed the scar in the corner of his lips.

“Oh uh- yeah.”

Y/n nodded as he let her inside. She stepped in, thinking that maybe there was more to the man than she originally had thought, a side of him nobody knew about.

It took a long time before a shadow appeared at the foot of the door. To the young adult it had felt like hours until she could finally hear the lock being opened. The girl inside of her was screaming, begging to see him again - as to why she did feel that way still, she didn’t have an answer to. Then the door creaked open just a bit. Y/n could see him peak through for just a second, the dark bags under his eyes were alarming, but to be expected. He must’ve been through alot, things she wouldn’t be able to grasp at her age.

A sigh escaped Fushiguro’s lips as he leaned away from the door, only letting a crack of light fall through, contrasting the dark of the night. Suddenly the door swung open, the brightness of the light illuminating her completely now, as she squinted her eyes to adjust to it. Toji had his back turned to her, trudging towards the living room without a word. She watched as his body disappeared into the room and followed slowly after, unsure of what’s to come.

As y/n stepped in, closing the door after her, she began taking a peak at the rooms that she passed by. They had all been in the same conditions as the day she left, which made her wonder how much of that was really Toji’s doing - he had never been the one to clean the house or cook. It was always one of the things his wife had complained about the most, y/n remembered the bickering everytime the woman left for work. Mrs.Fushiguro had been right about the way her husband had never participated in doing his part, but the girl couldn’t deny that back then she would’ve done anything to be a housewife if that meant she could call the man she had been infatuated with - hers. Y/n often joked about it to her friends at school, but deep down she knew there was an inexplicable feeling she couldn’t get rid of as soon as he left her sight.

The young woman almost gasped once she stood in the doorway of the living room, it contrasting to the rest of the home so much that she almost wanted to laugh. Beer cans were scattered across the floor, half eaten food laying around on the table and in between the rest of all the mess, was Toji, his head hanging low.

Y/n had expected some sort of comment from the dark haired man that was now sitting on the same old couch that she had imprinted into her memories - but he hadn’t uttered a word.

She knew she was the one that had to initiate the conversation, but couldn’t shake off the anxiety that was creeping up. Once her feet were ready to move without shaking, she approached the man, sitting right on the spot next to him that she had been used to back then.

“What are you doing here...”

Toji’s low tone almost made her shiver. His question rather sounding like an accusation, an observation than anything else. It was the same old thing he’d always do, where he didn’t ask for the other person’s sake but rather to emphasize that what they were doing was almost a joke to him, something so obvious that he didn’t need an answer for.

She shouldn’t be here - nobody asked her to come and he was probably the last person to know what to do with her. They weren’t friends, y/n told herself as she looked at his disheveled state, she was only an old memory, coming back to haunt him.

“I just thought-“

The womans’ eyes began watering, but she swore to herself that she didn’t want to be that stuttering mess in front of him ever again. She didn’t want to remind him of that same girl he had met three years ago. Y/n was a grown woman now, and for some reason she felt the need to prove it to him.

“I heard what happened. I don’t know if it makes any difference, but I just wanted to give you my condolences.”

A creak of one of the beer cans made her look up to the man, his face unreadable. Toji scoffed as he watched the can crinkle between his fingers.

“Everyone says the same shit. It was stupid of me to think ya would be any different.”

Y/n watched as he let the empty can drop to the floor, making it painfully obvious how silent it had gotten.

“Did Geto say the same too?”

Toji finally casted her eyes towards her form, almost seeming caught off guard by the question.

“He came to the funeral after everything that happened. Suguru was never somebody I would’ve considered a friend honestly, but there he was, standing next to me in a black suit.”

The dark haired man paused for a moment as his eyes darted to the glass door that led to their garden. A sudden chuckle escaped his lips, without any certain emotion being evident on his face.

“He didn’t once pity me. The guy just padded me on the back and said he’d see me at work again.” His gaze found it’s way to the girl in the robe.

“So?”

She knitted her brows in confusion, unsure of what to say. “What?” He laughed at the quick response, turning away to shake his head.

“I never really understood you, y/n. Even before you left-“

Toji leaned forward, prompting his arms on his thighs as he looked down at his hands.

“You were always looming around but ya never got to the damn point. It was like you were hiding something in that pretty little head of yours.”

Suddenly the young woman felt defensive, finally grasping the fact that she didn’t have to stand back anymore - this was her only chance.

“And you weren’t?”

His head turned, as he looked over his shoulder questioningly. Y/n took the opportunity to go further, staring back at him intently.

“You always acted all polite infront of others, casually waved at the neighbors, talked to my parents with a friendly smile - but once you were in here...”

She scoffed at the memories flooting her thoughts again. The harsh words Toji had thrown at his wife, the way he wouldn’t as much as look in his son’s direction most of the time.

“You were awful, Toji.”

The mans’ eyes grew dark with every word she uttered, but y/n was insistent on not taking it back this time, she needed answers.

“Sure, make me the bad guy all ya want. I’ll let ya have that, but don’t act all innocent on me.”

Slowly the distance between them became smaller, as the man leaned closer to y/n with a devilish grin.

“Do you really think I didn’t notice your little attempts? Ya think my wife would’ve appreciated the way you acted around me?”

The hand that was propped onto his leg was dangerously closer to her thigh, y/n noted as her eyes flickered down nervously. He knew all along - but what did that mean for her? Y/n gulped before speaking up again and meeting his gaze.

“You were already fighting with her about every possible thing you could, but you think that the girl next door would’ve made her break? Really?”

Toji’s stare was cold again, his lips shut close as he almost mumbled to himself in disbelief.

“What did I ever do to you?”

“Nothing.” The woman shook her head as the tears slipped down her cheeks. “You didn’t even spare me a glance.”

Her voice broke as she smiled sadly, not knowing how to put into words why she had felt the way she did. Y/n couldn’t quite grasp it herself.

“I didn’t understand why even though you did everything your own way, disrespecting her multiple times and seemingly not even giving a fuck about your own family - you still never even dared to look at me in any other way than the fucking babysitter.”

A sniffle broke through the silence of the house, Toji still not wavering as he watched the woman break right infront of him.

“I know that you shouldn’t have and that it was selfish of me, childish to think you could ever see me as more, but I was so frustrated. I just wanted to be desired by you, and the little amount of attention you did give me just made it hard not to be addicted to you.”

In that moment, y/n felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She didn’t explain everything perfectly but she felt as if maybe this was the only way she could’ve made him understand, even just a little.

The girl back then already knew that her way of thinking had been selfish, and even now she couldn’t look past at how toxic it was to think that way about someone with a family, someone much older than her - but y/n still never stopped thinking about him.

Y/n closed her eyes, sparing herself the embarrassment she might’ve felt by looking at Toji’s reaction but suddenly felt his body moving beside hers. She opened her eyes as the man took her chin in his hand and looked down her lips longingly. Just for a moment, y/n thought that maybe she had been wrong all along - Maybe Toji had catched a glimpse of her when he smoked out of the bedroom window, maybe he too had wondered what it would be like to lay next to her and hold her for just one night.

Then his lips crashed into hers, softly but with a lingering determination. Before y/n could even react properly, Toji had moved back again. His eyes staying on the spot he had kissed her, tracing his thumb over it lightly.

“I can’t give you what you want. I never could.”

No. No. No.

Y/n thought back to when she had arrived today, when she claimed that everything had stayed the same. “Why?”

She pleaded with glassy eyes, her e/c ones boring into his.

“Because you don’t belong at a place like this - and I do.”

Even as the young woman sat there, watching him move away and stand back up, she didn’t feel any hatred towards him. He never did anything bad to her. He never treated her the way he had treated his wife. He never once took advantage of the situation.

But both of them knew he wasn’t a good person, and maybe letting each other go was the only way to avoid causing any more damage.

“I’m sorry.”

Y/n didn’t know what exactly she had apologized for; if it had been for leaving the town out of the blue, or for crashing into his home without any warning. Maybe even for something that only Toji could know, like what circumstances he had been in to become this way - but she did feel sorry. Toji’s steps come to a halt at the doorway, turning his head, only to give her one last smile.

He had left the room without a response.

Y/n knew there hadn’t been anything left to say - this was their last chapter and she was finally ready to turn the page.

————

My first jjk story for now, but I’ll probably write more for other characters from the show soon. Also please feel free to correct me on anything grammar related since english isn’t my first language & i’m only trying to get better. ^^

#jjk imagines #jjk angst #toji x reader #toji fushiguro #toji imagine #toji x you #jujutsu kaisen toji #jujutsu kaisen imagines #jujutsu kaisen x reader

[rattyoakenbitch]

❝𝐬𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐝❞ ─ 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝

oh, you're cold as ice, baby. i don't wanna fight, baby. it's like i told you; if you stay, i'll stay

❥ content ; gn reader, angst, happy ending

❥ warnings ; toxicity, drinking, strong language, big but legal age gap, steamy makeout session

❥ synopsis ; after a series of stressful events, you find yourself drinking again. unfortunately, so does spencer.

❥ a/n ; none !

With a heavy, bone-tired sigh, Spencer stepped out of the elevator, making a beeline towards his apartment. He stopped outside the door, bringing his hand to his head. He ran it through his long, textured waves, his fingers getting stuck at the strands tangled together.

Spencer stayed like that, nervously idling outside his apartment. The apartment he shared with you.

Spencer had traveled to California for a case with his team prior. It had been days, if not a week since he had actually seen or talked to you. The day of his departure, you weren't exactly on the best of terms.

You loved Spencer. You didn't doubt it for a second. You would have left him long ago if you didn't. Still, your relationship wasn't perfect. You were both very different, career wise. You were an aspiring photographer, and worked at a local coffee shop on the side. Spencer worked at the BAU. Very different. You had just graduated from college when you met Spencer, and, despite the fact that he was almost ten years older, you hit it off and eventually began dating. Though your messy, inconsistent schedules got in the way of any quality time you could spend together, neither of you decided to go your seperate ways. You didn't want to. You were stubborn. So was Spencer. Not because he was desperate. Hell, he didn't even need to try to get girls. He was practically a pussy magnet.

But he chose you. And you chose him. Because you were both in love. Real love, and that's rare.

It still didn't change the fact that you were bothered by Spencer's lack of presence. You openly voiced your frustration over it several times, but you eventually learned to accept that your relationship would never be normal like that. As long as there were bad guys fucking shit up, Spencer would have no time being lovey-dovey.

Which is why Spencer felt uneasy, afraid of what he'd find at the other side of the door. Would you still greet him with open arms? Or would you shun him?

Well, you did neither.

Your eyes were glued to the screen in front of you, but you weren't mentally present. Which is also why you didn't notice Spencer walk in, his jaw hanging open.

The first thing he noticed were the crushed up cans dumped across the floor, along with broken glass bottles, identical to the one you held in your hand.

The apartment was void of any light, save for the dim illumination the TV screen emitted. Spencer almost didn't notice you in the darkness. You were curled up on the corner of the couch, your eyes, again, never once leaving the screen. Of course, the TV didn't provide enough light for Spencer to make out any your features, but he knew it was you.

"Y-You're drinking again?!" was the first thing Spencer could blurt out, his mind racing with thoughts. You jumped up from your spot on the couch, your heartbeat speeding up at the abrupt noise. You clumsily leaned over to the side table, switching on the lamp. The sudden brightness stung, causing tears to well in your bloodshot eyes.

"Ah - shit," you mumbled, rubbing your eyes. "Hello to you, too. I didn't even hear you come in."

"No, you didn't! What is all this?! What-" Spencer was at a loss for words. He scanned you from head to toe, not believing his eyes. Your hair was unkempt, to put it lightly. The dark circles under your tired eyes seemed to have become a deeper shade since the last time he had seen. Your lips were chapped, but wet with alcohol that also stained your clothes.

"Why?" was all Spencer managed to get out.

You shrugged your shoulders. "Dunno, got a little lonely and bored.." If it weren't for the alcohol, you don't know if you'd be able to remain calm in a situation like this.

"God! You could have stayed with family - I don't know! Just look at the place! Have you even left the apartment at all?"

"How can I stay with family when my only family is states away and constantly traveling?!" you finally snapped angrily.

"Is this what this is about?" Spencer said softly, the realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. He looked away from your hard stare, afraid of the guilt he'd feel.

You stuck out your bottom lip in a mocking pout. "Figure it out, genius boy."

"Watch it," Spencer snapped, but you merely rolled your eyes at him.

"You're not my dad. You're barely a boyfriend! You don't order me around," you sneered, watching a flash of pain spread across Spencer's face. But he was quick to compose himself, playing the calm, peace maker.

"Look, we can discuss this tomorrow when we're both rested and sober."

"Oh, really? The last time we made plans, you had to leave. It's all you know."

"Well what do you want me to do?! Do you want me to quit my job?!"

"I don't know, Spencer! I don't know anything, anymore!" you shouted back. Your head began to spin, tears blurring your vision and then you were on the floor, drunkenly grabbing at the air for support. Spencer rushed to your side, attempting to help, only for you to shove him back, harder than you probably intended. Now you were both a mess on the floor, crying and mumbling curses.

Spencer crawled towards you, clasping your hand in his. "Let me help, sweetheart. S'all I wanna do."

"I don't need your damn help," you scowled, hot tears still spilling down your flushed cheeks. You placed your free hand on his chest, but didn't try pushing him away. "I don't want it.. And I don't want you."

Spencer felt his heart ache at the statement, but he knew it was a lie. A facade.

"I know you don't mean that."

"Well you didn't mean it when you said 'I love you' so I guess we're both liars," you scoffed pitifully.

"I meant it, Y/N, and you know it." You remained silent. "I love you. I really do."

"No, just shut up and this'll be easier."

Tired of your attitude, Spencer gripped your chin, forcing you to look up at him, your glossy eyes locking with his deep browns.

"Dammit, Y/N, listen to me. I love you, so, so much, that I will put up with your stubborn attitude that I hate so much, because deep down, I know you're the biggest softie. And you love me, too, no matter what you say to get me to believe you don't."

"I don't love you." Lies. "I wish I never met you."

Spencer pressed his forehead against yours, nearly headbutting you with the sudden action. His lips just barely brushed against yours, and you could feel his hot breath fan your face.

"Don't you lie to me."

"I'm not lying. I hate you. I fucking loathe you, Spencer Reid."

"Then why haven't you backed away?" he whispered, his voice laced with hope.

Silence.

"Answer m-"

Just like that, your lips were on his, roughly claiming them while effectively shutting him up. Spencer didn't waste a second kissing you back, returning the same roughness. He slipped his tongue past your bottom lip, tasting the bitter alcohol that tainted them. You let out a quiet moan, hoping, just hoping he didn't hear. But of course he did, and that only encouraged him. He wrapped his arms around you desperately, trying to get as close to you as physically possible. Your bodies pressed up against each other perfectly, fitting together in all the right places and curves like a puzzle piece, made for each other.

And this is where you belonged, tangled up in your lover's arms. You didn't want to part. More than anything, you didn't want to break away. But eventually you had to, your lungs suddenly feeling tight with lack of oxygen.

You buried your head in the crook of Spencer's neck, sobbing out.

"God, I've missed you so much. Please don't leave me again. I love you so much, Spencer." You repeated it like a mantra, afraid Spencer would disappear into thin air if you stopped.

Spencer rubbed circles on your back comfortingly. "Shh, baby, I'm right here. I won't leave. I'm sorry. I love you so much," he cooed. "We'll be okay."

#tw: alcohol #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid #spencer reid angst #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fluff #cm #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #lana del rey #rattyoakenbitch #spencer reid oneshot #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid gif #angst #prompts #criminal minds fandom #inbox open

[mayraki]

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

“jj’s secret”

CHAPTER TWELVE

SERIES MASTERLIST

MY MASTERLIST

who is max belinsky?

concept boards for the new characters

summary: Max Belinsky and JJ Maybank are the two troublemakers of Outer Banks. Going to parties, getting into trouble, having an attitude and being the two people you don’t mess with are the perfect ways to describe them. What would happen when the two people who seem to have trouble follow them around meet? One thing is for sure, they didn’t expect this outcome.

“I can’t believe the plan worked.” Sarah said while looking at Sam’s arm around Kie’s shoulders. They were both sitting on the couch at Max’s living room, while she and Sarah where sitting on the floor in front of them.

“I can.” Max said with a proud smile. “My plans always work.”

“Well, all I can say is that I’m happy we got the Max way.” Sam said with a smile while looking at Kie, who was staring at Sam’s lips. She gave her a little kiss on the lips and Max tilted her head backwards.

“Ew. Don’t make me regret putting you two together.” She pointed at the in love girlfriends who were staring at each other while Sarah just let out a laugh.

“Hello, ladies.” Cody appeared on the living room with a cheeky smile on his face. “How is everyone doing? I’m Cody Belinsky. The coolest Belinsky.

Max let out a fake laugh. “Ha! You wish.”

“Hi Cody.” Sam said with a smile but still confused at Cody’s change of behaviour.

“I’m Sarah.” Sarah said smiling at the flirty boy.

Cody nodded with that cheeky smile on his face. Max rolled her eyes and then turned to her little brother. “Cody, they’re SO old for you.” She said but Cody just shrugged his shoulders.

“I like older women.” The girls let out laughs while Max was surprised at his brother.

“Well, the only one who’s single as fuck is your sister so, go to your room.” Max pointed at the little corridor.

“I’ll be around, ladies.” Cody said before turning around with a smile and leaving the living room behind.

“What’s with him?” Sam asked once Cody was out of their sight.

“Since he got a girlfriend he’s been like a casanova. I’m going to slap the shit out of him.” Max complained. “I want my old little brother back.”

“I don’t know, he’s funny.” Kie said. “And what was the whole ‘single as fuck’ thing?”

“What?” Max asked confused.

“You’re not.”

“Am I dating someone and I don’t know about them?” Max said pretending to be concerned. Kie let out a tiny laugh and then gave Sarah and Sam little looks, before going back to Max.

“C’mon, don’t play dumb. We all know that you and JJ have something going on.” Sarah said with a cheeky smile.

“What? No, there’s nothing going on.”

“Ok, play dumb. You and me both know that you’re not going to be single for much long.” Sam let her back rest on the back of the couch.

“JJ can be pretty stupid sometimes, but when he wants to, he can make pretty good choices.” Kie said before grabbing the bowl of chips on the coffee table.

“Well, I’m not a good choice so-” Max was saying but Sarah slapped her arm.

“We all have to make a bet. Make this fun.” Sarah said and everyone nodded except for Max. “Who thinks JJ is going to make a move this week?”

Sam lifted her hand into the air. “Me.”

“This week?” Kie shook her head. “No, I know him. I say in three weeks.”

“That’s good. But I think, tomorrow.” Sarah said with a smile and then turned to Max, who was watching at the girls surprised. “What do you think? What team are you on?”

“First of all, y’all are fucking crazy. Second, I’m on the team Max doesn’t need a man.” Max shook her head and then a satisfied smile appeared on her face. But then quickly went away when Sam threw a pillow to her. “Hey!”

“How much do we bet? 10? 20?” Kie asked between laughs.

“Wait, y’all are really going to make a bet on when is JJ going to make his first move on me?” Max asked and they all nodded innocently. “Alright, how much?”

“What do we say girls? 20?” Sarah asked and they nodded. Max let out a proud smile and then crossed her arms around her chest.

The girls shook their hands trying to annoy Max, but what was going through her mind was anything but annoyed. She let out a tiny laugh and the girls turned to her. “What?” Sam asked.

“Y’all lose.” Max said with a smile. “You’re losers.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked looking at Max confused.

“Because,” Max got up and then added before going to the kitchen. “He already did his first move.” A proud smile appeared on her face while the others were staring to throw questions at her.

“What?” “When?” “What happened?” “You didn’t tell us?” “Max, talk!”

They all arrived at the kitchen to find Max pouring water into the glass innocently. “There’s nothing to tell. All I’m going to say he already did and y’all lose.”

Sam quickly shook her head. “No, bitch, you tell us!”

“Yes!” Sarah added. “Like when was it? How? What did he say? WHEN?”

Max let out a tiny laugh and then came back to the living room to sit on her prior position while the other girls followed her waiting for her to talk. “So? Talk talk talk!” Kie yalled.

“Alright! You bossy girls! It’s not that big of a deal, it happened at the party.”

“At the party?!” Sam asked surprised. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You had a lot going on in your plate, remember?” Max said remembering the little argument and Sam nodded before turning to Kie. “Besides, it was nothing. That time we were drunk, like, really really gone.”

“That time?” Sarah asked.

“There’s another time?” Kie got closer to Max waiting for a response. But when she did an awkward little smile she went backwards covering her face with her hands. “I can’t believe it!”

“We were drunk, and then we were high. They don’t count as anything.” Max said like nothing but Sam quickly shook her head.

“Yes they do! What did you do afterwards?”

“The first time nothing, because we barely remember everything. Then, the second, the morning after we kissed high John B came screaming that we slept in and we needed to get you guys.” Max pointed with her head to Kie and Sam. “That’s it. We never talked about it.”

“Max! A week passed! Why do you mean you didn’t talk about it yet?” Sarah complained.

“We were going to! But then, I don’t know, we didn’t.”

“You need to, baby.” Sam said to Max and she quickly nodded.

“I know! I guess we both were... a little bit afraid that things were going to change between us. We don’t want that- or, at least, I don’t want that.” Max let her back rest on the floor when she let out a tiny sigh.

“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want that either.” Kie said.

A little bit of silence followed that sentence, until Sarah spoke.

“Max... do you like him?” Sarah asked softly.

Max didn’t respond immediately. Her mind went into a deep thought. Did she? She had to be honest to herself, she liked the kiss with JJ. She liked how he made her feel. It’s not like she was in denial, she didn’t even knew what she felt. Her mind had a lot of questions, but the thing that was bothering her was the scary feeling of going through what she did a year ago. The pain, the tears, she swore to herself that she was never going to let herself go through that again. She deserved way more than that.

She believed that she was confused, but in reality, being afraid and the barrier she built was making it impossible for her to see what she really felt. Impossible for her to know that what she felt was real. More real than whatever she felt years back.

“I don’t know.” She said almost in a whisper before sitting down again.

The girls weren’t able to say something since the front door opened to let Fred walk through it. He did a smile to Max and then to the girls, who stared at him while admiring the beauty that Fred Belinsky was.

“Hello girls.” Fred said with a smile and then walk over to Max to give her a kiss on her forehead. “Did you make dinner?”

Max nodded. “Yeah, yours is in the fridge.”

Fred thanked her with a nod and then left the living room to go to his room.

“Damn, never mind, I’m into men.” Kie said while looking to where Fred left but when Sam turned to her pretending to be offended she kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. He was the only thing that was making me stay straight for the longest time.” Sam said shrugging her shoulders. Max thew a pillow to the girls but Sam was able to stop it with ease.

“Is he single?” Sarah asked still with her gaze in a trance.

“Yeah, but you aren’t.” Max said pushing her to make her body fall on the floor, but Sarah didn’t stop.

“How is he single? Are the ladies who know him crazy?”

“He’s too busy for a girlfriend.” Max shrugged her shoulders. “And he doesn’t have a great taste.” Max said with disgust remembering her old girlfriend.

“He’s so beautiful. And the kiss he gave you on the forehead? Ugh! Give me one!” Max turned around to look for a pillow but when Sam threw her the one that she threw before, she quickly grabbed it in the air and punched Sarah with it.

“Stop simping over my brother!”

“Alright.” Sarah sat down. “Let’s go back to JJ, then.”

Max quickly shook her head and closed her eyes. “Oh no, alright, go back to my brother.”

Max parked her car and quickly turned it off. Her boot was going up and down for the nerves she was starting to feel. Her eyes were glued to JJ’s house while she was biting her lower lip and trying to think of the words she was going to say. Whatever was going inside of her.

Yes. She was going to talk about her feelings with JJ. One of the deepest fears was people understanding or knowing what was she really feeling, letting people in was one of her biggest struggles. She couldn’t not think about her ex-boyfriend, her mind was reminding her of the last time she let someone in, she got her heart broken. Her mind was screaming to not let it in, to run away, but since the talk with her friends, she couldn’t stop thinking about it, and worst, she couldn’t stop thinking about him. JJ Maybank. The guy who his flirts she found annoying, the other troublemaker, the guy who would always have a girl around his arm and was known for never settling down. Even if what she felt inside was all a mess and she didn’t even fully understand what was going on, she was falling for him, and there was nothing she could do to stop it.

She stepped outside her car and started to slowly walk to his house. Her heart wasn’t stopping from beating faster as each step was made. She was way deep into her thoughts, that it took her a minute to realise what was coming from JJ’s house. A loud noise was heard so she suddenly stopped walking. She furrowed her eyebrows confused but then brushed it off, maybe something fell, she thought once she started to walk again. But when a loud yell was now going through her ears, she didn’t even hesitate on walking faster to the front door.

“You’re piece of shit!” Max recognised Luke Maybank’s voice so her heart dropped to her stomach. “Your mother knew that!” Another loud noise.

Max stopped while her mind was trying to think her next move. A noise of something hitting a wall hit her ears so that’s when she quickly walked to where she knew JJ’s room window was.

“You just keep fucking things up! You bastard!” Max kept hearing Luke’s screams and the fact that she wasn’t hearing JJ’s, she was getting more worried than before. “You wanna talk back to me again? You fucking good for nothing! You’ll know what’s worst!”

Max saw JJ’s window and quickly walked towards it. She got on her tip toes to see through it and that’s when her heart dropped to her stomach once again.

JJ was sitting on the floor covering his ears with his hands. He was looking down but Max knew that he was crying, his knees were dirty and his shirt was ripped. That’s when she understood it all. What was fully happening.

She opened the window slowly to not make a loud noise and she climbed inside the room with ease. JJ was trying so hard to not hear his dad’s words that he didn’t even notice the girl that was now in front of him.

Max noticed that his room was locked so she kneeled down in front of him to gently touch his arm. “JJ..” she said softly. When her hand touched him, he quickly looked up. His eyes were red from crying too much and some scratches was now visible. JJ couldn’t fully understand if the Max Belsinky that he had in front of him was the real one... or the one that he usually imagined to get away from his dad’s screams. It’s not like the did it on purpose, it just happened once and it became something that would come often unintentionally, since the first time it was the only thing that could calm him down, think about her.

“JJ, c’mon, let’s get you out of here.” Max pulled him up by gently grabbing his arms and he listened to her, by getting up and walking behind her to the window.

They both climbed the window and seconds later, they were both out of the house. Max grabbed his hand to lead him to her old white Jeep, but when a loud door opening hit their ears they both turned around.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?!” Luke yelled once he was outside. Max grabbed JJ’s hand with more strength and turned around to keep walking to her car faster. “I’m not done with you you little shit!” Max heard Luke walking towards them, but they were both already inside her car. “Don’t you dare start that car!” He yelled, but it was too late, Max had already left the Maybank house behind.

Max saw her house once she parked her Jeep. She couldn’t take her eyes off the steering wheel while the image of JJ and Luke’s screams were still playing inside her mind.

JJ was biting his lower lip out of nerves while looking down at his fingers playing with each other. He didn’t know what to say, she knew. She knew what his father did to him. He didn’t want to, he didn’t want her to be a part of that. But it was too late.

“Who knows?” Max asked softly turning to face him, but he didn’t look up.

“Who knows what?” JJ asked. He was playing dumb. He knew exactly what she was asking, who knew about his dad beating him, but in his mind he thought that maybe, if he brushed it off it would just go away...

“About your dad, JJ.” Max said softly again. He was still not looking at her, he felt like if he did, it would be over for him and the tears that wanted to come out.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“JJ-”

“I seriously don’t.” He cut her off. He looked through the window while she went back to the steering wheel. Silence surrounded the car while Max was trying so hard to think her next words. But she couldn’t. She didn’t understand what he was going through, and the thought of a father doing that to their child... couldn’t go through her mind. She felt horrible for him, someone so brave, funny, and the friend that wouldn’t even hesitate fighting for her friends and the people who he loved, he was an amazing person and Max hated that JJ didn’t know that. That he was worth so much. He was worth fighting for, caring for, and loving for. She went back to looking at him but then looked down again, when her next words came to her mind.

“You can talk to me, you know?” She asked more loudly this time. She wanted him to know that she was serious, that she wasn’t the funny and chaotic Max.

JJ did quick little nods. “I know.” He said softly. Max looked at him and noticed he swallowed to eat the tears and to avoid the pain he was starting to feel in his throat.

“You’re always there for your friends, and it’s time for someone to be there for you.” Those words hit JJ different since for the first time, he locked eyes with her. A little smile escaped his lips as well as a little tear. Max lifted her hand to gently wipe the tear, JJ felt his chest calming once he felt her touch. It was like a magic spell, and her fingers where the wand doing her magic on JJ. But it was something way more stronger that magic, something that they both needed from each other.

“C’mon, let’s get you cleaned up.” Max said opening the door of the Jeep but when JJ spoke she turned to face him.

“No.” He quickly shook his head. “I don’t want your bothers to see me like this. I don’t want to get you in any trouble.”

“Fred is at work, and Cody is at his friend’s house. And don’t worry, they’re used to me getting into trouble.” Max let out a tiny laugh but JJ didn’t move. He shook his head again.

“I don’t want to be a burden.”

“JJ you will never be a burden to me.” She so said quickly that she didn’t even know what she said. She looked down after realising, but JJ didn’t looked away once those words came out of her mouth and his heart skipped a beat. “Now, c’mon, don’t make me carry you because I fucking will if I have to.” She pointed at him and a little smile escaped his mouth before opening the door and stepping out of the car.

“I think- I think we have an aid kit on the bathroom. Let me check.” Max said once she opened the front door. “You sit down, JJ.” She pointed with her head to the couch before walking to her big brother’s little bathroom.

JJ didn’t move. All he could think about on that moment was the words “you’ll never a burden to me” coming out of Max’s mouth. Nobody has ever told that to him, not even the Pogues. They didn’t treat him like a burden, on the contrary, the Pogues were the ones that treated him better than anyone since he was a little kid. But there where times, no matter how many times he told himself he wasn’t, he felt like it. Like if he would just walk away nothing would change, the Pogues would continue with their lives like nothing happened. It was always his mind playing tricks on him, saying things that weren’t true. But even if they weren’t, JJ sometimes believed it. He never told that to anyone, how he sometimes felt, and the fact that Max said those words... made him feel something that he would cherish forever. She made him feel like he was worth it.

“Hey, the couch is not going to bite you, you know?” Max said jokingly when she came into the living room to see JJ standing in the middle of it lost in his thoughts.

He looked down at his dirty clothes and then went back to her. “I don’t want to ruin your couch.”

“Oh.” Max said while giving a little nod. “I’ll get a towel, then.”

After she went back to the bathroom to get what she needed, she set it on the couch to let JJ sit on it to start cleaning his scratches.

“I’ve done this to myself multiple times, so don’t worry.” Max said while putting alcohol on a little piece of cotton.

“To yourself?” JJ asked confused.

“Yep. You won’t believe the amount of times I feel on my face while skating, or climbing a fence... or jumping off my window. The list goes on and on.” JJ let out a tiny laugh that quickly turned into a complain grunt when Max touched his scratch with the cotton. “You’ll get use to it. The pain.” Max said with a little smile after seeing JJ’s face but then quickly widen her eyes after realising what she just said. She looked down to her hand holding the cotton against his skin.

“I will always get use to it.” He said with a smile shaking his head, like it was not important. “It’s alright.”

“You don’t have to. Get use to it, you shouldn’t.” Max said after locking eyes with him.

He shrugged his shoulders. “There’s nothing we can do about it.”

“There’s always something we can do.”

He shook his head. “Not with this.” He said softly.

Max threw the cotton aside and grabbed another one, to clean the scratch in his cheek. She let the alcoholic wet the cotton while silence surrounded the living room. Max’s mind was going through a lot of ways to help JJ, so fast that she couldn’t contain one, and some others didn’t even make sense.

JJ looked at Max while she was getting the other cotton ready, her concentrated face made her even more beautiful. The way she would move her eyebrows and her eyelashes would slowly follow her eyes. Her lips were pressed against each other and the need to touch them with his lips appeared... it was incredible. No matter the situation, no matter what he was feeling, Max Belinsky made him feel better, even if she was just sitting down with her eyes looking down. It was something about her, that made JJ’s breathing go back to normal and his body to relax, making him forget all about what happened thirty minutes ago.

She took the cotton closer to his face avoiding any eye contact. “This is going to hurt more.” She started to clean him up while he bit his lower lip trying to take the pain. It wasn’t difficult to him. While she was watching her hand with the cotton, he stared into her eyes. He got the sudden need to end the closeness and be closer to her face. Feel her breathing against his skin, but he controlled himself. He took a deep sigh and then his eyes went down.

“You’re the only who knows.” He said softly. Max stopped moving the cotton after hearing his words, but then carried on. “The Pogues know my dad is a screw up, but they don’t know about... this.” He pointed at his scratches.

“Why didn’t you tell anybody?” Max threw the cotton away before grabbing another one to start cleaning his other scratch on his face.

He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I just figured it’d be easier if they didn’t know.” Max was about to clean him but he quickly grabbed his arm, stopping her and the cotton already going to his face. She locked eyes with him confused, but when his eyes started to water again, without hesitating, she threw the cotton to the side to wrap her arms around his body. He let his face rest against her shoulder while feeling some silent tears going down his cheeks. That was all he needed, feel her close. More than ever. And for her to don’t let go.

She started to caress his back when the need to cry appeared to her too. Knowing that her friends were hurting and her not being able to help them, was one of the worst things that could happen to her. That’s the thing about her, she has trouble letting people in, but when she does, she goes hard. She cares about them more than she cares about herself. And the fact that JJ, the guy that in the last month had become a really close friend, was going through something like that, something that Max couldn’t do something about it, made her chest feel an incredibly strong pain, like it was closing and the only way to stop it was trying to do everything she could to make him happy again.

Max moved her head backwards to face him. They both were touching each other’s foreheads while her arms were still wrapped around his body. He took his hand to grab her waist and pull her closer. Their noses were almost touching and the air what was coming out of their mouths was mixing.

“Tell me- tell me, what can I do?” Max asked softly, almost in a whisper.

JJ looked down to her lips and stared at them before answering. “Right now, just hold me.”

Max slowly nodded before closing her eyes. Silence surrounded them, the only thing that they cared about what holding each other and be close. It was like they were protecting each other, no matter what it was, bad thoughts, ugly memories, they were both trying to give each other the safety they both clearly needed from each other. And, also, wanted.

JJ was still with his eyes opened, they were admiring Max’s face while enjoying her touch against his body. He wanted to remember every single second of that moment, he wanted to hold it until his memory wouldn’t work anymore. He wanted to remember for those moments he found himself lost, sad, and even angry. He wanted to remember her.

A loud noise came from the front door so that made both of them jumped and let the other go. Max quickly got up and turned to the door, to find her big brother walking through it.

“Hey, aren’t you supposed to be at work?” Max asked trying to take her heart back to normal after the scare of the door opening.

Fred did a quick look at JJ, who was looking down, but then went back to Max confused. “I told you, since yesterday I did extra time, today I was going to leave early.” Fred pointed at JJ. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah.” Max said before quickly grabbing the cotton and the alcohol from the coffee table.

“Who got hurt?” Fred asked while looking at the things Max had on her hands and that’s when JJ got up from the couch. His scratches were now visible along with his red eyes. Fred dropped his bag on the floor before quickly walking to JJ. “What happened?” He asked concerned while looking at JJ.

“He fell.” Max said quickly once she noticed JJ getting uncomfortable at the question. “We were skating and he fell. It’s my fault, I made a bet he couldn’t do a trick.” She let out a tiny smile to make her lie believable but Fred didn’t look at her, he was still looking at JJ.

“Did you cleaned him up?” Fred asked.

Max nodded quickly. “Yeah, I’ve been there before.” She let out a tiny laugh but Fred didn’t do the same, he turned to her with a serious expression but then went back to JJ.

“Are you alright?” He asked. JJ nodded while biting his lower lip.

He looked down when his fingers started to play with each other. “It’s time for me to leave.”

“Wait-” Fred stopped him. “We have to make sure you’re fine.”

“I am. Don’t worry about it, I’ve been here before too.” JJ said with a smile but Max knew it was forced, that made her heart skipped a beat because she knew what he meant.

“Are you sure?” Fred asked again, but when JJ gave him a smile and then nodded, Fred move to the side to let JJ walk to the door.

Max followed him to open the door. She grabbed the door knob but then turned around to see if Fred was still in the room. Because he was, she looked at JJ and asked softly.

“Are you going to go to John B’s?”

JJ nodded. “Yeah, probably.”

Max knew that JJ wasn’t in danger at the Chateau, but her gut was still making her feel unsure and worried. She opened the door and her heart went to her stomach when she saw the person that was standing in front of her house. Luke Maybank.

@iamaunicorn4704 @onceinagenerationrage @lasnaro @k-k0129 @x-lulu @oopsiedoopsie23 @baby-pogue @roamingmarauder @ponyboys-sunsets @agirlwholovescoffee @thorsangel @sunflowerbabe81 @deviouscharitos @badbitsh13 @thehomeiknow @cilorawr @mdlyncline @ilovejjmaybank @corebore123 @starksweasley @allycat449-blog @netflix-imagines @alwaysasadaesthetic @queenofthepouges @jjsmaybcnk @sexytholland @xoxoalxssa @sadcupofcoffee @strawberrydonkey @asaks6082 @allielozoya @jjandreidsgirl @sarcasticsagittarius1998 @nevvvv @June_246 @drewswannabegirl @hannahhh-marie92 @outerbanksbro @itsyagirljay @quacksonsssandtea @alw4ysmaybank @mrsromangodfrey @kay667 @casper17 @jarahisendgame @niya-savage @scooby6 @dustyjjumpwings @victoriaanorve @sweetlysilent @alternativehp @stilinskingongo @renatafairchild @stfukie @chasefreakinstokes @jj-x-maybank @beloved-vinyl-addict (+)

#rudy pankow x reader #rudy pankow imagine #rudy x reader #rudy obx #rudy pankow #jj outer banks #jj imagine #jj x reader #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank imagine #jj #jj maybank #jj x y/n #obx jj #obx #obx netflix #outer banks #obx fanfiction #obx imagine #outer banks netflix #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks imagine

[101flavoursofweird]

For the ten line drabbles, would you do 20 for any combination of Kat, Ernest, and Sherl (either two of them or all three of them together)? Thank you!

[[Apologies, this ended up being more than ten lines and didn’t even include the quote, though it definitely inspired it! Thank you for giving me the chance to finally write a fic about my Sherl theory!]]

20. “If you feel safer with me being there, you know I will always be there.”

“Aurora, our messenger, do you wish for this human to be reborn as a beast?”

“Yes, please. He has brought a great deal of suffering upon the world and to the fabric of time. And he hurt the professor… Also, can you take away his memories, like you did for me?”

“We were able to accomplish that as you were an Azran golem—“

“I was a sentient being with a beating heart. Surely you can do this same for this man?”

“…Very well. We will grant your wish.”

—

Kat had gone out for dinner with her inspector brother and her chef sister, leaving Ernest and Sherl to ‘manage’ the agency by themselves. (Or rather, stall any clients until Kat got back.)

Sherl thought this would be the perfect time for a dognap, but then Pipstripes decided to switch on the television while he was dusting.

Uuugh, that stupid black box! Why did Kat have to bring it in here, and place it on the drawers right above Sherl’s bed? Why couldn’t she find another way entertain herself when it was raining cats and dogs outside?

Sherl covered his ears as the droning voice of a news reader came on.

“—on this day, seven years ago, that the St. Herald Hotel collapsed during one of the worst storms in British history—“

“Who cares what happened seven years ago?” Sherl groaned. “That’s... forty years ago for a dog...”

“Shush, Sherl,” Ernest said, his gaze glued to the television.

“—While the establishment had received five star ratings in the past, it was undergoing maintenance work at the time, making some rooms unstable—“

“That thing will rot your brain,” Sherl warned. You would never catch Sherl gawking at a screen.

He couldn’t see in full colour anyway...

For him, it was mainly grey with some shades of blue and yellow. Pinstripes stood out like a sore thumb with his waistcoat and his trousers. Sherl could distinguish Kat’s yellow coat and her hat, but her dress just looked... dull. (Kat had nearly thrown a fit when Sherl told her this.)

As far as Sherl could tell, the news reader was a lady with long blonde hair, a grey suit and a solemn expression.

“All of the hotel staff and guests were able to escape, expect for one—“

“Poor sod,” Sherl snorted.

“—Former Prime Minister, Bill Hawks.”

Sherl’s ears perked up. “Who?”

“Shhhhh!”

“Did she say Prime Minister?” Sherl persisted. He stumbled out of his bed to get a closer look at the T.V.— at the photo of the man the news people had put up.

He was probably in his late fifties or early sixties, judging by his balding head, deep frown lines, droopy eyes and glasses... Sherl squinted, wondering if dogs could get glasses.

“Yes— from about twenty years ago,” Pinstripes informed him, frowning slightly. “If you listen, they’re going to talk about his life soon...”

Talk about him they did. Bill Hawks: Born in London, squeaked his way in to university, became a scientist at the Institute of Poly-something or other... until there was an explosion at the lab he worked in. An explosion, it turned out, that Hawks had caused with an experiment gone awry.

Sherl hummed. “Why does that sound so familiar?”

“The... explosion?” Pinstripes fiddled with the end of his feather duster. “It sounds like something out of a sci-fi film, doesn’t it?” He closed his eyes for a moment. “But it really did happen, over thirty years ago... and there were terrible repercussions ten years after. You might have heard Miss Layton discussing it...”

Sherl shook his head. He would have remembered if Kat had mentioned something like that. His short term memories were clear as crystal. It was his long term memories that were murky— at least, those prior to joining the Layton Detective Agency.

All he could remember from his past life was a tower falling down, and lightning flashing across the sky... but with each passing day, the details felt less precise and less important. Kat seemed to have given up on solving his case of amnesia altogether!

“Oh...” Pinstripes glanced out the window and back at Sherl. “Do you— surely you know about the Mobile Fortress attack? From a man called Clive Dove?”

For some reason, that name made Sherl shudder. Still, he answered, “No...”

“He tried to destroy London? There were crushed buildings and a gaping tear left in the ground?” Pinstripes said, his eyes wide with disbelief. “It took them years to repair—“

“I might seem older than you kids,” Sherl interrupted, “but I can’t have been alive for more than six or seven years.” He was a ‘mature dog’ (according to the vet), but that couldn’t compare to a human lifespan. Kat’s grandmother, Rosa, was in her seventies!

Pinstripes waved his hand. “Right, sorry... Anyway, Clive Dove was put in prison— thanks to Miss Layton’s father— and he remains there to this day.”

“Good,” Sherl huffed. “Sounds like this Dove was barking!”

“That’s really not funny...”

“What made him go round the bend?”

Ernest winced. “He, um... he wanted to get revenge... because his parents died in that lab explosion.”

Sherl stuck out his teeth. “But if Bill Hawks was behind the explosion... then why didn’t Dove just go after him? Why take it out on everyone—?”

“I don’t know!” Ernest dropped the feather duster. He sighed heavily and crouched to pick it up. Turning his back on Sherl, he resumed his dusting around the television.

The news reader was exposing more about Bill Hawks; by sweeping his crimes under the rug and making shady deals, Hawks had climbed the political ladder to the very top.

Then he was kidnapped by one of his former scientist colleagues and taken to an underground fake ‘Future London’...

“So that’s what she meant...” Sherl breathed. When he’d first arrived at the agency, Kat had asked if he had a ‘letter from the future’. Had her father been sent such a letter?

Sherl’s heart pounded at the next part of the news report. Clive Dove had imprisoned Bill Hawks in the Mobile Fortress, using Bill’s heartbeat to power the machine... That was intense!

Fortunately for Hawks, Professor Layton had saved him and shut down the fortress.

After they all escaped, Hawks had ensured Dove was arrested, put on trial immediately, and locked up for life.

During Dove’s trial, however, Hawks’ disreputable past had been brought to light. Hawks wasn’t put behind bars, but he had to pay a lot of compensation money for the victims of the institute explosion and for the Mobile Fortress attack.

A clip from an interview was shown— a man from Barkleys Bank described Hawks’ loss of financial backers as his approval ratings dropped. (Poor Barkleys, having to represent Bill Hawks...)

Disgraced, Bill had resigned from his post as prime minister and disappeared from the public eye. His wife had divorced him and he had started mooching off his parents’ inheritance.

“Good-for-nothing fat-cat...” Sherl grumbled. You wouldn’t catch his pups leeching off their families like that. When Kat’s father went missing, she had set up a detective agency. When Ernest’s mother died, he had worked his way up to university— and taken an unpaid job on top of that!

Sherl hoped there were assassination attempts made on Hawks’ life after everything he had done.

But no... It seemed that the world had forgotten about Bill Hawks as soon as he left office.

By all accounts, his death at the St. Herald Hotel had been deemed an accident. He had just been in the wrong place at the wrong time, asleep when the roof above him collapsed.

“...Did he wake up in unbearable pain or did he die peacefully in his sleep?” the news reader lady pondered.

“Oh, come on, woman!” At this point, Sherl was standing on his hind legs with his paws pressed up against the television screen. “I need to know! That skid mark deserved to suffer—!”

“We may never know for certain,” the news reader went on, smiling impassively. “But some might say that justice was served on that day... Thank you for listening! And now, over to Puzzlette for the pollen report...”

“Waste of time...” Sherl flounced away from the television and looked around. He spotted the T.V. remote on the settee. “Turn it off, will you, Pinstripes?”

With a huff, Pinstripes turned off the television. He tossed the remote back on to the settee.

Sherl flicked his tail. “What’s got you so hot under the collar?”

“N-nothing...” Pinstripes crossed his arms as if he was trying to contain something in his chest. Whatever it was— anger, grief or uneasiness— Sherl reckoned Pinstripes wouldn’t be able to hide it for long. (He had broken down the minute Kat accused him of being Lord Adamas.)

“You might as well tell me,” Sherl prompted. “Kat’s out, and it’s not like anyone else can hear...”

Sherl prided himself on being a good secret-keeper. He hadn’t told Kat about Pinstripes’ crush, besides a few snide remarks. He hadn’t turned that street dog, Yapper, over to the pound. And he hadn’t ratted out that mouse who would occasionally nip in to steal Kat’s food...

Pinstripes whispered, “You... you can’t tell Miss Layton. She and her family would hate me...”

“Is it worse than what you did at Richmond Court?” Sherl asked. He made a furtive glance at the door.

“N-no!” Ernest exclaimed, his voice rising a pitch. “It doesn’t even involve me directly... but it does involve... one of my family members.”

Sometimes, Sherl was glad that he couldn’t remember his relatives. He didn’t have to deal with any of that family drama— unless Kat and Ernests’ issues counted as drama.

“Just spit it out,” Sherl growled.

“I... I’m related to Bill Hawks,” Ernest burst out. “Distantly!”

After all the cases Sherl had solved with Kat, that wasn’t too surprising to hear. Sherl cocked his head to the side. “How ‘distant’ are we talking?” He had heard that a lot of Europe’s royal families were related. Did it work the same way with lords and politicians?

“Quite distant... He was my grandfather’s second cousin!” With the cat finally out of the bag, Ernest sighed shakily. He sank on to the settee and tucked his knees under his chin, pulling himself into a tight ball. He looked more like a child than a lanky young man, but then again, he was only nineteen. That was still young by human standards.

“Pinstripes...” Sherl murmured when he heard sniffling. Sherl padded over to the settee and jumped up beside him.

“P-please don’t tell Miss Layton,” Ernest repeated with a whimper. “I nearly— she let me stay... even after what I did. I don’t want to— to hurt her again...”

Knowing Kat, she had probably already discovered the connection between Ernest and Bill Hawks.

It was possible that she had figured out Sherl’s identity as well, but she was keeping quiet. Honestly... Sherl didn’t really mind at that moment.

What would he do if he knew about his past? Track down his family? Would they even be able to understand him? And what if he had left his loved ones on bad terms? He would struggle to make amends with them, and they might be even more upset.

It wasn’t like he could return to his old job, either... unless it involved police work, assisting people with disabilities, or herding sheep. There was always performing— who didn’t love a good dog act?  

But even then, it would be lonely if he couldn’t communicate with anyone.

At least if he stayed here, at the Layton Detective Agency, he could make a difference. He would do his best to help their clients... as well as Ernest and Kat.

Sherl curled up next to Ernest on the settee. After a while, Ernest’s sniffs stopped and he started stroking Sherl’s head.

Maybe one day they would find a way to transform animals into humans... but until then, Sherl didn’t mind being a detective’s dog. There were fates far worse than this.

#Answers #Sherl O.C. kholmes #Ernest Greeves #answers #Bill Hawks #My writing #my fics #layton’s mystery journey

[maomao-words]

Hewo *≧ω≦* I still have a few ideas of my own stuck in the back of my head and I want to write them out before turning my full attention to my ask box!

My ask box is open now! I’m looking forward to your requests ❤

MLQC Boys during an Apocalypse: Part 1 (Victor and Gavin)

Victor:

The destruction, the carnage, the thick rivers of blood and throaty screams came all of a sudden. It was as if the whole world decided to rage against humanity one morning and no one had the time to even blink in protest.

You were watching the news in horror, hand clutching at your phone tightly, waiting for Victor to arrive to your apartment. Few hours prior, you had been woken up by your lover at dawn. Before you even had the chance to complain about your lost sleep, Victor’s voice, laced with extreme urgency and worry, snapped you out of your sleepy state and into a horrifying consciousness. Victor didn’t say much. Just few instructions and a quiet stay safe until I reach you before hanging up the phone. You packed up your luggage in a hurry, making sure to only bring the necessities as he ordered. You changed out of your sleeping gown and turned on the TV despite Victor’s warning. You had to know what was going on.

By the time Victor called you to let you know he was downstairs waiting for you, you were struggling not to throw up. With your head spinning and your stomach tightly knotted, you picked up your purse and your single suitcase and almost ran out of the door, glancing back in fear at your apartment as the door closed. Once you got out of the door, utter chaos enveloped your gaze. Police sirens were ringing everywhere, cars were honking at a frequent pace as they were stuck in a horrid traffic jam, people cursed and yelled at each other and faint screams could be heard at the distance. You barely managed to take all of this in when a firm hand grasped at your waist and pulled you close in a tight embrace. Victor’s breath sounded ragged and rushed in your ear and he quickly released you before you got the chance to embrace him back. He lifted your suitcase from your hand into his car’s trunk and turned around to face you. For the first time in your life, you saw fear in Victor’s eyes.

Once inside the car, Victor briefly filled you in with the information which the LFG managed to get a hold of. The more you listened to Victor’s seemingly detached voice the more you could feel panic rising within your chest until you could no longer breathe. Only Victor’s hand, tightly holding yours, anchored you to reality and kept you from breaking down. 

Traffic was completely jammed as cars came to a halt once and for all. Victor’s fingers impatiently tapped on the driving wheel as he dialed a number in his phone and waited for a response. After a curt conversation in Japanese with an unknown man, Victor hang up and stopped the car’s engine. He turned his head to catch your confused gaze before lowering his eyes at your legs. “Good,” Victor sighed, “you’re not wearing heels.” 

Whatever Victor was informed with at his last phone call did not seem good as he ushered you out of the car. In a few seconds, he opened the trunk again and pulled out your suitcase before turning around to properly face you for the first time since the morning. You clenched your jaw and balled your fists, bracing yourself for whatever was coming.

“No need to sugarcoat things at the moment. The world is heading to its end and it looks like nothing can be done for now,” Victor calmly said, stepping closer to you. “What I want from you now is one word and one word only. Do you trust me?” Victor’s eyes, dark and full of unspoken words seemed to be looking at your soul. “If you do, take my hand. We have to run.”

It took your head a split of a second to be filled with all of the memories you shared with Victor. All of the times he saved you and protected you from harm. All of the times you have confirmed that placing your faith in him will never lead you astray. All of the times you swore to yourself that you will follow and trust in him til the end of the world. You head swam with all of those memories and you felt tears pricking at your eyes. “If I don’t trust you,” you whispered, “who am I supposed to trust?”

The next events happened so quickly. Once he had your affirmation, Victor took your hand in his and guided you towards the back alleys of the city. You were both lightly jogging, not yet fully running, as Victor informed you of the plan he had. Since going by car was impossible at the moment, you both had to travel by foot to reach the airport where the LFG’s private jet was waiting to deliver you both to the safe vault Victor’s family has prepared for such events. But you had to hurry. The situation was escalating too fast and no one could guess what would happen if you somehow end up not boarding that plane. Time was not on your side and you could already hear the once-muted screams grow in intensity and draw closer to your location.

But Victor was with you. You were tightly holding his hand as you both quickened your pace. The world was crumbling all around you but strangely, you still felt safe. The apocalypse was upon you, but you will be damned if you let go of that hand up until the bitter end.

Gavin:

You made a mistake. A grave mistake. 

The news channels were all talking about the same topic. The gory pictures, the sickening videos, the ever increasing toll of deaths and all of the screams right outside your window were slowly driving you to the brink of madness. Gavin told you not to go out until he finishes up preparing and comes to get you and you initially intended to follow his orders. But the screams were only growing louder, the police sirens which were the only comforting sound to you, suddenly grew quiet and disappeared completely. And when the night came with no news on Gavin, you tried calling and paled at the robotic automatic response informing you that this number is not available at the moment. Your sanity and sound judgment, which you were barely holding together, snapped and you were out of the door before you could really fathom your actions.

 Broken shards of glass and a long trail of blood greeted your eyes in the hallway. You could feel blood draining out of your face as the sounds of some glass breaking echoed in the upper levels of the building. You clutched at your phone and hugged your hands tighter to your chest, before sprinting towards the stairs. You ran as fast as you could, barely avoiding tripping and falling down more than once. You dialed Gavin’s number again, but the same cold voice answered you and you could feel rage rising within you this time. As if inside your building was not chaotic enough, the outside world was a turbulent mess. Burnt tires, heavy smoke, blotches of blood on the pavement and the scent of something rotten filled the air. You placed the hem of your shirt on top of your nose and mouth and squeezed your eyes shut before sprinting again towards the city center. 

Right before your communication with Gavin was cut off, the last thing your lover told you was that he was on his way to meet up with an acquaintance who had some information that Gavin desperately needed. It was the very last stop before Gavin promised to meet up with you and move together to a safe spot. You panted as you ran, eyes barely taking in the disaster around you; the enraged crowds, the screams, the blood, oh god, the blood which was now covering most streets and pavements. You were thankful that tears filled your eyes and blurred your vision, temporarily blocking the bitter reality you found yourself in. You were running out of breath when you finally arrived at the intersection Gavin mentioned in his last call. There were too many people around but all were too panicked to be of help to you. You pushed your way through them using the little force you had left before suddenly coming to a stop in front of a dark alley. Your heart was beating loud enough for everyone to hear as you took a hesitant step forward, eyes glued at the silver bracelet lying on the floor. You extended a hand to pick it up only to gasp in terror as the tips of your fingers were covered in a sticky and warm liquid the second you touched it. Blood. Your brain whispered against your will. The silver bracelet, the one you gifted Gavin for your first year anniversary, was covered in fresh blood.

Your mind was too focused on the broken bracelet in your palm, head swimming with all sorts of dark thoughts and horrible ideas to the point that you did not hear the footsteps coming from the depth of the alley. The rotten smell grew stronger in intensity all of a sudden and you gagged, feeling your stomach churn as you heard low growls behind you. You jumped from your spot, barely putting some distance between you and the creatures before other growls sounded in the distance. You cursed under your breath, slowly backing from them until your back hit the wall. The horrid smell, the rotten flesh and the inevitable doom all caused your mind to come to a stop, incapable of coming up with a solution to this trap. You clutched the bracelet tight inside your palm and braced yourself. You were going to risk ducking underneath them for a chance to escape. At best, their slow speed would guarantee your safety. At worst, you could risk getting scratched and infected. It was a gamble, but you had nothing else to bet. It was all or nothing. You held your breath and waited for the split of a second where they are close enough for you to crouch and duck when the sound of a bullet echoed and the creature close enough to touch you suddenly crumbled at your feet.

The creatures, sensing a newcomer, turned around at the promise of fresh prey but they did not expect the new bullets that pierced through their heads in a instant. You stared dumbfounded at the scene in front of you, incapable of grasping the situation. The next thing you knew was two arms pulling you in a warm and tight embrace and Gavin’s husky voice tinged with anger whispering in your ear “You idiot. I told you to wait for me.”

Tears flooded behind your eyelids and you bit your lower lip in a futile attempt to hold them back as you hugged Gavin closer to your body, feeling his warmth and his solid heartbeat. He’s alive, you cried out. Few seconds ticked by before you collected yourself enough for Gavin to look at you in the eyes. But before you could utter a word, faint growls echoed once again and Gavin frowned as he sensed the upcoming danger. Wasting no time, Gavin picked up the bag he threw off on the ground earlier, before pulling you in a hug again. You could feel cold air gather around you both as your feet slowly left the ground. “Hold tight. I’m going to get you out of here.” Gavin’s voice was back to its usual warm tone as he confidently announced to you. You buried your face in his chest and breathed in his familiar scent, your heart settling in for the first time since the world began collapsing. Gavin was finally here. You are going to be okay.

#mlqc #mr love queen's choice #mr love victor #mr love gavin

[alias-b]

Without The Lights~ Billy Hargrove x OC Camille Harper

Chapter 11: There Are Worse Things I Could Do

A/N: Valentine’s Day of 1985 after a terrible school prank. Camille gets some horrid news and comfort from a surprising source. TW: Death, talk of abortion, asshole high schoolers, mental break, and brief self h*rm scene.

    The comments weren’t bad. Oh, no.

    "That's the one... Her."

    "Queen Bee. Queen Bitch."

    "Slut."

    "Wonder who the daddy was."

    "Baby killer."

    "Hargrove better watch out, she traps boys. He'll lose interest now for sure."

    "Camille, the whore, Harper."

   Those were all tragically and hilariously to be expected.

  It was the staring. Those damn eyes. The way she could walk into a room and have it hush. Teachers and students alike. Thinking those thoughts too loudly. Camille marched in. Knowing they were talking about her. Eyes lifted and moved over her body like she’d never get privacy again. Camille was used to being watched. Desired. But, this... Avoiding her face was one thing. Staring direct at her long scraped out womb was another. The attention burned. Lights scorched. No dark corners to curl up and hide away in. And how Camille tried to. She imagined layers of flesh melting away until she was muscle and bone. They would rub salt into the rawness of her wounds.

  Camille turned her nose up to all that shit. Fixed her lipstick. Flicked her hair. Blew bubbles with gum like nothing was around. She spoke up in class. Made herself more visible because she had no choice and she wanted control again. Camille burst with technicolor. Crushed them all. Swayed like a dancer down hallways. Undaunted. By force. But, undaunted nonetheless.

  Billy watched her float. Like nothing could touch her. He found himself wishing that he could float too. Camille tried to sit alone at lunch. Tried. Steve smacked a tray down across from her. Sent a message that nothing had changed. Students watched their king sit and eat, sliding an extra carton of milk over. She’d tried to skip the meal too. Nancy and Jonathan came next, adding crackers and a brownie to the lunch. Billy was on her right after, placing his green apple there. Hadn't lost interest of course. Heather ushered Robin over even and they joined. Camille let herself smile.

  “So, anyone catch Mr. Creed’s new hairpiece? A surprising color.” Steve leaned forward and Heather laughed. He attempted to make his friend feel normal again.

  “I couldn’t even take notes, I was waiting for it to crawl away.”

  “Definitely hiding something,” Jonathan piped up. Camille watched her odd group of friends joke, picking up the apple to bite into it first. Billy shot her a wink so she nudged his leg with her own.

  “I had him last year. Once he got frustrated and ran his hand into it. Flipped half the thing over and finished class like that.” She chuckled finally when they did, encouraged.

  “He’s gotta put that whole collection out of their misery.” Robin added. Camille enjoyed feeling like a teen again. For once. Steve kicked her foot under the table, flashing a smile that set her at ease. It was like this over the next week. Gluing little shards of glass back together. Trying not to slice tired fingers. Rosemary acted as if nothing happened prior. Cooped up in her studio with new designs. Work was better. Better than a daughter who refused to be a daughter. Camille stayed afloat until the ship cracked again. The perfect hive threatened to crumble in.

  Her stupid locker. Still broken. This day, she jerked it open for her chemistry book with Robin next to her, ready to walk to class. Red splashed all down her front. Covered the floor and Robin’s shoes. A bucket of blood red paint clattered, dribbling all over. Camille went into shock, hands lifting while it pooled out. Like most shitty things in her life now. Pooling out. She longed briefly to let it cover all else. Clothing ruined. The crack deepened when Carol pointed to laugh across the way. Ex-popular friends joined in around her. Tommy was cackling, racing away to catch more attention. Billy's foot came out by his locker and the boy tripped hard, smacking the floor. Students ceased their laughter.

  "Eat shit, you little bitch." Billy bared his teeth. Looking utterly feral because that was his default setting.

  "Mad someone got your slut before you did, Hargrove? You'll have to fight every quarterback in Indiana." Tommy dragged backwards but was ripped up, shoved into the lockers. Camille paid no mind.

  "Get the fuck out of here." Billy struggled with his rage and tossed Tommy the other way, arms swiping out to frighten him off. Tommy was Steve's added beefcake muscle once upon a time but he'd be a fool to challenge a fire-breathing hyena like Billy Hargrove.

  “What the hell, Carol?” Robin spoke first back down the hallway. Heather ran along to see her friends. Odd bunch they made. Camille the freak. Robin the weirdo. Baby faced Heather. Billy shoved his locker closed and pushed students to see his friend too.

  “Are you okay? Camille?” Heather was ignored. Baby killer, came some more utters and Camille stalked forth. Carol shut her mouth and cried out when a fist charged right next to her head. Its force dented the locker in. The brass knuckle punch style she'd easily picked up from Billy. Something detached inside Camille. Instead of hitting Carol and crying, she just laughed. Eyes wide. Unstable. It echoed into their school. Demanded respect and attention because this was stone fox Camille Harper here. She laughed louder. How could she not? Her entire life was fucked. It was a lie. Why hide when the cards were all on the table today? More of her friends rounded the hallway in awe.

  “Carol. I should be upset. What a clever, clever prank. How many brain cells did it take between you all? I wonder. But, you know…I’m not mad one little bit. Because I grew out of being a nasty bitch and I know you won’t for a while.” Camille was grinning. Carol looked shocked, tipping back to avoid the paint. “You don’t have to date a shitty ass guy who tries to fuck your friends when you take breaks and hate yourself, you know? Good luck with that. Been there, crawled out.” Camille jerked forward to hug Carol as tight as she could. “We’ll get through it together.” One hand took Carol's jaw. Red swatched her skin before she pushed her backwards after planting a hard, sweet kiss on her cheek. Paint swiped Camille's fingers so she reached up where there wasn’t paint on her shirt and traced an A.

  A scarlet letter.

  “Bitch! Camille, what the fuck? You lost it.” Carol looked down at herself, clothes ruined now too.

  “Bold to assume that I even had it to begin with, babe.” Camille left her, head still high. Hips swaying. Paint splattering. "Well, any of you wet dream drones have anything else to say to me? Now's the fucking time!" Arms swiped, sending spatters of red into nearby students and lockers. Instead the entire crowd parted for her in sync. Moses standing at the damn Red Sea separating it. "I thought so." She puffed, lips lifting to smile because she owned them still. "Robin, sorry about the shoes."

   "You know, I think this could be a great look actually." Robin joked instead, rolling with it because her friend was clinically insane and she adored her now.

  "Right. Now, where is Billy Hargrove? Hm? Don't be shy, sweet face." Camille commanded her drones to part further and reveal him there at the center. Billy had stopped to watch halfway toward her, eyes fixated and huge when he got a better look. "Ah, there you are." She sucked her teeth, clicking her tongue once before she came forth. "Should have smelt the smoky hairspray and warm cologne, it's still to die for." The teen dream stopped in front of him. Everyone was dead silent. Awed. Impressed. Aroused.

      Queen Bee Camille.  

  “Pick me up tonight." Hands on her hips, head cocked. Flirty and unashamed. Splashed bright red. A firework bursting in his life. "Seven o'clock sharp. We are going to the god damn movies. It's a date, just so we're clear. Be prepared to hold the door for me.”

  “You’re the boss, Hester. Wear something red. Color's good on you.” Billy winked, shrugging before he too stepped aside to let her go. Unworried. Happy. Camille left a trail of footprints all down the hallway. She entered the girl’s gym showers in her clothing. Earning shocked looks when she started laughing aloud again and got under cold spray. Cleansed her skin. Red sloshed all down into the drain like the flood of a period. Her clothing was still ruined. They called her mother again to get her. Took an entire load of towels to get her out of the showers without making another mess. Camille was still laughing the whole way.

  It never ended.

** ** **

  “Camille, I’m not sure this is a good idea. You should rest. You've had a rough week.” Rosemary had frowned. Her own palms shook when she clasped them. Camille didn't notice her shaking

  “I’m peachy.” She imagined teeth peeling fuzzy peach skin away to suck the juicy fruit within. That sweetness dripping from soft, plush lips.

  “You’re different.” Rosemary couldn't get her daughter to turn around and just look at her. Not like she used to.

  “I’m different?” The teen huffed and yanked up into the tree in front of their house. Another awful prank. Hung baby dolls from branches. “You going to help me here, mother?”

  “They need me in New York again.” Rosemary resigned herself. Guilt swirled and she pressed her lips. Stared for a long moment, desperate. “Ask me to stay with you, I will.”

  “You're right. I am different.” Camille admitted, head turning. “My eyes are open.” Her mother looked truly unsettled. “Go, they need you. I can handle myself.”

  "I'm so sorry, Camille." Rosemary never said what for. First mistake. Her mother turned to go. "I left you something in the kitchen. Cheer you up. It used to." Camille never went to see what it was. Second mistake. She dumped the toys into their trash bin and prettied herself up. Wore a casual pink dress that slipped from her shoulders with cherries all over it. Small splashes of red. The Camaro howled while she applied the same red to her lips. Billy felt his heart charge when he pulled into the driveway. Finally.

  “Millionth time is the charm, huh?” Camille approached when he got out. "Devil's pride nice still?"

  "Yeah, I'd say so." Billy prettied himself as well, fitted shirt opened halfway and tucked into tight jeans. His preferred style. She smiled at him like nothing was wrong.

  "Shall we?"

  “Chariot awaits,” he cocked his head and offered a single peony from behind his back. Pink. Billy got the door for her and went around to drive them off. Let her pick the flick and he bought the tickets. The Breakfast Club. He only whined a little about it. Camille bought the snacks and they found seats up in back. More teens filled the room before the lights hushed. They took turns snagging popcorn and sips of soda. As much as he rolled his eyes prior, Billy grew invested. Every teen in sight felt it. Damn movie was too relevant. Camille leaned into him, allowing his arm behind her. Idle fingers traced the bare skin of her shoulder. The world let them be blissful teens tonight. For a little while. Third mistake. Credits rolled and he held her hand just like they discussed. Kids filtered out so Camille leaned in to kiss him, inches away before she gasped instead.

  “Hey. Robin and Heather are here. Check it out,” she noticed them down closer to the front. Giggling. Tossing pieces of popcorn while they joked and stood. Heather looped her arm into Robin’s. Grins followed.

  “Didn’t know they were actually close friends now. Lab partners or whatever.” Billy shrugged and Camille had to cover her lips. “What?”

  “Boys are so oblivious, come on. To the diner.” She tugged at his hand to go down the steps.

  "As you wish." Billy pulled her into him, earning a slight giggle. Chilly air swept and his leather jacket was already around her.

  “Camille!” Heather caught them exiting the doors, hand leaving Robin’s quicker than intended. Camille peered at the space between them, eyes lifting.

  “Heather…hi. Nice to see you both. Fine night compared to earlier, yeah?”

  “Yes. Sorry, we didn’t know you guys were up there. I would have said hi. Great movie, right?” Heather continued.

  “I loved it and so did Billy, despite the whining.” Camille joked, patting his chest. “Hey, Robin.”

  “Hey…” Cold wind passed them so Camille brought Billy’s jacket closer.

  “You got Billy to sit through that, impressive.” Heather was entertained.

  “Just wait till you see my other tricks,” Billy lit up a cigarette behind his date.

  “Okay, on that note, you guys…have a good time.” Camille kissed her friend's cheek, winking. Heather gave an honest smile, relaxing again.

  “Thanks, Camille.”

  “We’ll see you two in class, yeah.” Robin crossed her arms. “Now do the trick where you disappear, if you could.”

  “Love that one,” Billy pressed Camille’s back when she gave Heather a knowing look of encouragement. He drove her to the diner and they found a corner booth. “Large milkshake. Chocolate. Side of fries.” He told the waiter. “Well, Harpy, we covered it, didn’t we?”

  “What?”

  “We angrily laid this out in detail months ago. Hit all the important points.”

  “Hm, I think there is always room to improvise.” She purred, chin resting in her hand as she leaned over.

  “Oh, say improvise again.”

  “No,” Camille laughed when he gave that world melting smile. Food was set down. Billy snagged some fries and shifted the plate between them. She sipped and hummed blissfully. “I’m going to have that song from the movie trapped in my head for weeks.” Camille plucked up a hot fry to eat.

  “Thought it was funny us going to see that? Criminal and princess.”

  “I didn’t plan that,” she grew amused. “Didn’t know the movie would be like that. Frankly though, I’m starting to think I’m more of a basket case now.”

  “Can’t argue there,” Billy dodged a fry at that, laughing before he stole her milkshake. "Queenie is buzzing along a very fine line."

  "Suppose I feel like I have wings today." Camille gave a shrug. "Guess that I also wanted to bring up more of the wildly unhinged me who told her ex to eat shit."

  “Hey, look, I know you’re all smiles now and great. But…”

  “Disgraced bee flew too close to the sun.” Camille rolled her eyes and sat back. “I’m not faking it for you. I don't do that with or for boys, rest assured. These last two weeks have been…fucking awful. But, I’m on a date with a guy I care about and I think it’s going well.”

  “We talking B minus work?” He gaze at her closely.

  “Oh no, I think you’re on your way to a solid A plus with extra credit. Gold star work.” She joked. It was intoxicating even still. The way he smiled at her. Charming as hell. Lighter. Easy. Slow and steady, her hand came to touch his. Fingers curling. Eyes met and they stayed to enjoy the lingering beat between them. “I want to try something.”

  “You do?” Billy’s brow furrowed and she wasn’t hesitant.

  “I want to try it back at my place.” They scrambled to pay and go. Rain splattered lightly so he pulled her by the hand. Hair and clothing damp. Unable to resist, Billy yanked her into his chest. Hands on her wet face to kiss her there under rain and stars. Camille responded, pulling at him until they both laughed and continued to his car. Giggling teens on a date. Nothing to lose. So they thought. Billy sped while she slid over and placed playful, teasing kisses on his neck.

  “Harpy, I’m supposed to be setting a better example when I drive.” He’d joked, stilling to kiss her again at a red light. Hands smoothed along his thigh and they couldn’t park fast enough in her driveway. “Hey.”

  “Hm?” Camille was still in Billy's neck, palms sliding up his chest.

  “Look.” He pointed. Jim Hopper’s Blazer sat parked in front. The Chief was waiting, snuffing out a cigarette before Camille hurried out on unsteady feet.

  “Jim.” She felt a gust of cold crackle up her spine when he lifted his eyes. Rain stilled. "How long have you been here?"

  "Not long." He stared at them, clearly on a date and worked up. Camille came down fast.

  "What are you doing here, Jim?" She'd asked it quieter.

  “Camille, I think we should talk inside.” His palm was on her back to guide her forth. Camille's hand slipped from Billy's and they mourned that.

  “What happened?” She pressed, struggling to open the door.

  “Hargrove, give us a moment.”

  “No, Billy, come inside. You can say it to both of us.” Camille marched up to him while he took his hat off. A motion that appeared grave. Billy shut the door, his own flesh chilled when rain dripped from his curls. “Say it.”

  “Camille.”

  “Say it!” She barked at him, echoing in that empty house. Jim’s eyes drew to her own.

  “It’s Judith.” He crumbled her world. “I’ve been checking on her and-”

  “No, don’t you fucking…lie. Don't you lie to my face. It's fine. She's fine.” Tears welled. She got smaller. “You were supposed to protect her.”

  "I'm so sorry, I only heard a few hours ago. We've had people on her I trust. There... Something happened."

  "It's a mistake. No...No! You don't know shit. You're nothing but...a fuck up. You're just a fuck up!" She spat and he remained tender while her rage filtering out at him. "You are a liar."

  “She’s gone, Camille.” He was pushed hard at that.

  “Shut the fuck up…she didn’t… I knew they’d come for her! Another loose end to torment me with.” Camille couldn’t catch a breath, stumbling back before he took her arms. The dark secrets she kept. The life she had. The mother she never got to know. Gone. Gone. Gone. It all just fluttered. “Ngh, no!”

  “She passed, Camille. They confirmed it. I saw the certificate. Photos. Everything.”

  “How?”

  “Camille.”

  “How did she die?!” She screamed it. Echoing again. Billy pressed back into the door. His face felt impossibly hot.

  “They say she did it herself.”

  “They say…? A gentle, manic woman who never spoke and just spent her days rocking.” Camille broke. “So they killed her. They fucking killed my mother. Just to ruin me further. They know I can't mourn it. They know I saw her and they know I have to hide. Fucking, they killed us both. Again and again. Finally finished her off. It's because I found her. It's my fault.”

  “You didn't do this. There was something. Small. Carved into her arm. Three numbers.” Jim reached again to stop Camille from falling. “Hey, you have to breathe. Easy.”

  “No, she’s not… She can’t…” Camille was beating on his broad chest. “Lies! Lies! You’re a liar! A shitty, awful liar. I hate you! You fuck up! You were supposed to watch her. You...”

  “Camille,” Billy found his own voice, hands up to pull her off Chief Hopper’s towering frame. She slipped out of his jacket.

  “No, no, it isn’t true.” Camille rushed beyond them, tearing up the stairs. She saw her room empty. Kicked bedroom doors open. They pursued to stop her, forces jerked them aside. Her nose bled. “Can’t… It can’t be right.” Camille rushed down the stairs again. Nothing in the living room. She stopped in the kitchen when she saw them. The gift. To cheer her up. Confirming her worst fears. A vase of bright, freshly cut sunflowers left by her mother. An apology and a confession. She’d known. “No, no…no.” A wail tore. Shook the whole house before she lifted the entire thing to smash them. Yellow petals exploded around her feet. The doors slammed to the room when she fell to her knees. A sharp shard cut into her palm before she lost herself and dug it into skin. Eyes wide and unfocused. Three tiny numbers bled out.

  “Hey!” Jim pounded at the door, kicking it open when she relented before he tore her up from the floor. “Knock it off!” Camille dragged and wished to bring the entire house down. He held her arms tight so she bucked around and wailed again. Everything took too much of a toll on Camille. This was the last straw. Rosemary stared at her eyes earlier and knew. Knew what would come. And Camille would have to smile upon seeing her when she came home.

  Billy’s hands were on her face. He was talking too fast for her to process. He slipped away when she fell back into Jim, sobs barely subsiding because she was exhausted. Fingers gripped her forearm and Billy was tying a towel around it.

  “Go pack her a bag. She’s not well, I’m taking her home. Hurry.” Jim pulled her to her feet, half carrying her into the living room to put her on the couch. They cleaned the mess without words and got her into Jim’s car. Her cries silenced when the door shut. Billy found the silent wails of agony more horrific from outside the car.

  “Kid, I’ll handle it from here. Get yourself home.“

  “Fuck that, I’m sticking with her.” Billy edged forward. "You don't know her."

  “Billy, you helped. You did.” Jim eased. Billy didn’t jerk when a hand touched his shoulder. “What Camille needs is to process this. She needs rest.”

  “After she found her mother the first time, she stuffed herself with pills. I made her throw them up, she took so damn many. I am not…” Billy felt himself tremble. Jim understood, nodding. Watch her. “We were happy.”

  “Yeah, you’re good kids. You are. Just trying to make it better and you will. Camille needs to rest and she isn't safe to be alone in this house. Give it some time. Give her some time. Things still bad at school?”

  “Hung babies and red paint aren’t exactly welcoming.”

  “I’ll handle it. Go home. Let me take care of her, I know enough and if she's like El: her abilities could lash out. I’ll call if anything happens. All right? I'll call you first,” Jim pressed him to leave and he finally did. Billy didn’t drive home, instead he was stumbling up to another door. Bell rang and Steve Harrington looked confused.

  “Hey, man…you lost?” Steve didn’t see anyone behind him. Billy looked like utter shit. “You do know this is my house, right?”

  "Yes, asshole, I fucking know which-"

  "Okay, good talk," Steve moved to shut the door and Billy dropped the anger.

  "Wait..." Billy's foot stopped him. Steve sighed and pulled it back open.

  "Try again, pal." He waited so Billy changed his tone.

  “You got alcohol in there?”

  “Parents are gone to the weekend, uh…yeah.” Steve relented then stepped aside. “What’s going on?”

  “Start pouring first.”

** ** **

  “Camille.” El was excited until she saw her expression.

  “El, give her a moment.” Hopper guided the mute teen into their little cabin. His puffy police coat over her frame. “Pull out the couch for her.”

  “What happened?” El asked instead when Hopper got Camille into the bathroom. The door shut so he helped fix the couch into a bed. Eleven brought extra pillows and saw him locking up knives and pills. “Why?”

  “Camille is incredibly upset.” Jim explained it carefully. “Her mother. Real mother…she passed away.”

  “Gone.”

  “Yeah,” Jim swept the young girl under his arm. “We have to be careful with her. She’s hurting. Sometimes when people hurt…they take it out on themselves. She’s going to stay here a few nights while Rosemary is out.”

  “I can watch her.” El promised and Jim pressed a smile, rubbing her shoulders. Camille looked numb when she appeared. El hurried to take her hand and get her to lie down. “I’m sorry…about your mama.” Camille hated herself for the tiniest thought that maybe it was for the best. The older teen peered at her and nodded while El turned on the TV for her. Noise to fill the voids in the room. Jim pulled a chair up to unwrap her wrist. It took a moment for the little girl to realize Camille did it to herself.

  “Give us a moment,” Jim nodded so El went into her room. He cleaned the cuts and applied ointment while she reclined there. “Wanted the scar.”

  “They erased me.”

  “Six isn’t who you are, Camille.”

  “Guess I’m not really sure what I am any longer. Queen bee. Freak. Slut. Six. Baby killer. Always the fucking brands.” She paused. “Sorry, you lost your daughter.”

  “Two completely different scenarios, Camille, you’re not a bad person and I wrote the book on fucking up. No room to judge a teenage girl for making a terrifying and informed choice about her body.” Jim got up and pulled something from his coat pocket. “They sent me this with the certificate.” The tiny Star of David necklace. She let him clasp it so it could hang down low with Billy’s pendant.

  “Thank you.” She welled up and closed her eyes to still it.

  “She loved you. She did.” Jim touched her hair. "I'll let you have some space."

  "Wait," she sniffled, cracking. "Can you just hold me for a little bit?" Jim stilled, air leaving his nose before he sat back down. Awkwardly, she came up to scoot into his arms when he sat on the edge of the mattress. Jim floundered a little too, uncertain. She adjusted half in his lap. Camille pressed into him when he held her tighter, arms up against his chest. Inhaling the scent of him. Nothing like her own adopted father. Long rotting in the ground. She still closed her eyes to pretend. She wondered what her real father smelled like. Maybe something like this. Crisp. Safe. Jim rocked her when she began to shake in his arms. They melted more together. He cupped the back of her head so she lifted it to look at him. Small. Fingers smoothing idly into the fabric of his shirt as his thumb caught a single tear. "You're not a fuck up." She rasped then. Lips pressed at that.

  “Get some rest, Camille.” He offered, tucking long hair aside. She eased herself back into the mattress. El came out in her pajamas to crawl in next to Camille.

  “I can watch her,” El stated again when Camille was lulled to sleep. Jim stayed there petting her head until El took over. The little girl kissed her hair like Jim had done to her many times before to comfort her too. Hopper went to his room and left El curled into her sister. They looked peaceful.

** ** **

  “Hello?” Nancy was groggy when she received a call.

  “Hey, uh, Nancy, it’s Steven,” Steve snorted into the phone and Nancy was alert.

  “Steve? It’s late. Are you drunk?”

  “I’m the moral support, Nance.” Steve was trying to quiet someone behind him. “I have every single thing in my life...super under control.”

  “Oh, my god. Where are you?”

  “Home, near the pool. Um, Nancy, I did…something bad.” Steve slurred. “Remember how we dated for like a year? Wild. I was a shitty boyfriend.”

  “No, Steve, you really weren’t. Not at all.” Nancy was up, Jonathan lifted his eyes in question across from her.

  “Couldn’t even beat the keg king, a little girl had to step in. She’s like…way cooler than me. I think Max is the real keg king at heart.” Steve was laughing and Billy snorted, seated in a lawn chair near him. “I…am just calling…wait, why am I calling again?”

  “Camille…needs her fucking band of annoying nerds. The party. That thing…she doesn’t,” Billy hiccuped, plastered, “I’m not enough, ah, and I never will be.”

  “Billy wants to have a party.” Steve was laughing.

  “Billy? You’re drunk with Billy Hargrove?” Nancy smacked Jonathan’s shoulder to get him moving.

  "Ow!"

  “We’re coming over. Now.”

  “You’re with Jonathan, that’s hilarious.” He cackled. “Byers! He kicked my ass too!”

  “He told me!” Billy fell back, grinning.

  “Don’t go anywhere,” Nancy smacked the phone down. “Come on.” Back at Steve’s, he fell into a pool side chair.

  “She could def...definitely not even tell I’d been drinking. I’m…sneaky like a ninja.” Steve reclined back.

  “Shit is fucking wild, man. How did I get here? Look at them.” Billy watched the hundreds of stars dance in his state, lulling about.

  “You…are a fucking asshole.” Steve was swatting for him, hitting only air.

  “Yeah, I am.” They tried to high five and missed that too. “Pissed off a junior demolished you at everything you love?”

  “Beside the point. You’re like…like a real…huge asshole. But, you’re also not so bad. You know? I just…can’t fight for shit. And you somehow became friends with Camille Harper. My friend. My queen friend.” Steve was laughing again.

  “She tricked me into her intr...intricate friendship rituals.”

  “Oh, she does that shit. We all fall for it. You especially. And…you…you beat the shit out of me and then your kid sister stole your car. What the fuck was all that?”

  “What the fuck was that?” Billy agreed, head tipping. Nancy and Jonathan sped there, coming around back to see the two wasted boys.

  “Ayy! It’s Nancy! Nancy…!” Steve clapped. Billy was trying and failing to light a cigarette. They hollered in sync so she shushed them.

  “Hey, zip it! Both of you.” Nancy ordered. “What is this?”

  “If Camille were here it would be exactly…like…The Breakfast Club.” Billy started cackling and Steve joined him. “New party name, you fucking nerds.”

  “This guy is hilarious, he’s so right. So…right…”  

  “Hey, hey focus.” Nancy picked up a spray bottle for the window flowers and hit them both with water. They hissed and whipped around to avoid the cold like a pair of cats. Billy’s cigarette sizzled out so he flicked it, giving up. Jonathan covered his lips and tried not to laugh at this all. “What happened? Where is Camille?”

  “Police Chief kidnapped her mid date.” Billy had his hands up when she threatened them again with the spray bottle.

  “Why?” Jonathan stepped forward. Billy blinked as some awareness came back.

  “Bad thing… Her, fuck shit… Her mother. They got her.”

  “Her mom? Rosemary?”

  “No. One in the hospital.” Steve played with his shirt. “She didn’t make it.” Nancy lowered the bottle, realizing.

  “Oh, no… Where is Camille now?”

  “Hopper just…whiskered her away. Adopting another one probably.” Steve tried to sit up and Jonathan hurried to assist him.

  "You need a bed, come on."

  "Hey pal, I may have let you kick my ass but, you are not qualified to tuck me in." Steve dragged with him. Billy stared at the pool with a harder expression, lights fluttered on his face. Made him look almost ethereal.

  “We gotta get them inside.” Jonathan was helping poor Steve along still. Billy managed to sit up more and Nancy saw a flower in his hand. Camille had left it in the car. He stared at the petals and leaned to drop it into the pool. Water shifted with ripples. Billy watched them carefully so Nancy crossed over.

  “Billy, you’re not looking well. You need to get inside.” She and Jonathan heaved Billy to his feet next. "There we go." He stumbled and made an odd sound. Nancy realized that he was sniffling. She saw nausea sweep his expression and they hurried him into the bathroom so he could throw up. “Jonathan, water.” He rushed to find a glass. “Here…” Nancy was wiping Billy’s slack lips with a wet rag. He pressed his cheek to the seat and tried to overcome the sensation, moaning. Teeth clenched when another feeling flooded him. Nancy gave his back an awkward pat. “It’s okay.” She took the water from Jonathan and helped him drink. “Check on Steve.”

  “Got it.” Jonathan left again. Billy slipped against the wall, room spinning. Nancy squatted down barely a few feet away, arms crossed over her knees.

  “Don’t have to stay here with me, Wheeler.”

  “I know.” Nancy shrugged. Not the night she imagined. Not the person she imagined comforting. “Don’t mind it if you don’t though.”

  He blinked and didn’t say anything, eyes glazed.

  “So, Hopper’s watching her?” She saw Billy nod. “And you guys had a date tonight.”

  “I think I was decent.” His voice was quiet. Raw.

  “I bet that you were.” Nancy pressed her lips and he flickered his eyes over her face, opening up.

  “Not supposed to see her. Whole tutoring lie is only going to go so far. My dad doesn’t like it. But, I like it.” He slurred, eyes closing. “Another round with the belt when he finds out. Story of my fucking life. Maybe I deserve it, I was a shithead. I still am.” Nancy’s eyes changed.

  “He hits you. I mean…we all had some idea about it. Ah...you don’t deserve it, all right? And you don’t have to go back there, you know.”

  “All that wishful thinking. If I don’t, he’ll want someone else to hit. He’ll hunt me down. I tried to run before. Long time ago. Learned quick. I can't. Dad wins.” Billy numbed. “Didn’t want to care.”

  “You’re different. We all see it. Good different.” Nancy offered. Familiar words touched the world. “My friend changed too. Before and after your family got here. I did also and so did Jonathan and Steve. We all did stupid teenage things.”

  “Some of us did worse than others.”

  "We all hurt people." Nancy admitted, eyes flickering. "My friend died because of me and I can't take that back. I can only do better. Never let it happen to someone else."

  "She died because a monster grabbed her." Billy swallowed bile, chest heaving. "I used to be a monster too. Grabbing people. Squeezing. Laughing about it after."

  “What Camille sees in you now…it makes her happy. What Max sees in you makes her happier as well.” Nancy offered, careful. Billy lulled with an amused scoff to hide the way his tone thickened.

  “My mom didn’t see it. Why won’t my dad see it either?” Billy cringed this time, lips trembling and eyes filling to the brim.

  “It’s…going to be okay. It’s going to get better. I know how that sounds. But, not just for you alone. But, for you and Max. Camille. All of us. Because we have this…amazing group and we’re trying so hard despite everything. Even when we want to stop.”

  “I’m not…I’m not crying over my dad. He’s never…going to love me. Just, fuck him. Fuck him for me and Max and Susan…and…my mom. Fuck him! Fuck. Can’t touch anything. Can’t be touched. Fuck him. I’m crying…because…because, I…”

  “Billy, it’s okay. Just breathe.” Nancy offered him some tissue.

  “I can’t. Can’t stand to. I’m finally awake.” Billy wept, the airy syllables barely connected. “I love her.” He’d squeaked it like a mouse, fists rose to touch his head while he crumbled. Nancy stayed there with him to share the space. Let him weep. When he was calmer, she nodded to affirm that he was perfectly sane through the hurt.

  “I know you do.”

#billy hargrove #Billy hargrove x oc #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove fanfic #Camille Harper #writing #mine #without the lights

[leonardo-capulet]

Mutual Benefit || Annick & Leo

Who: Annick and Leo

What: After the rather trying Valentine’s Day Party, Annick and Leo talk about things, and then turn to each other for distraction and comfort.

Where: On to way to, and at Annick’s home.

When: Valentine’s Day 2022

Warning: Under this tag is smut. So, if you don’t wanna read smutty things...

Nick didn't drink all that much. Only occasionally, like with Jae. Or a glass of wine with her parents at dinner. But after seeing Cyrus at the party and her jealousy spiking, she'd gotten tipsy pretty fast. She'd misplaced Leo, not that they'd been glued to each other's side but the party was winding down and Nick was feeling the urge to get the hell out of there. She peered around the room, feeling slightly off balance as she attempted to locate him.

Fuck. Fuck Valentine's Day, and fuck this stupid party and seeing Cristian with someone else. He had no right to feel the way he did, he knew that, but the logical part of his brain had long since shut off where the submissive was concerned. It only made things worse when he kept circling back to the fact that he had been the idiot to cause this to happen. He needed to find Nick, the only damn thing making this party worth a damn. His eyes scanned the remaining people in attendance and he went in her direction, as he reached her he saw her slightly off balance and slid an arm around her. Not that he was feeling all that much better, beginning to feel the effects of multiple drinks. "Please tell me that you're ready to get the fuck out of here. I'm not sure I can handle another five minutes of this fucking music." Sure. Blame the music. Not the fact that his ex he was still in love with was not with him.

"More than ready," Nick said, grateful to have Leo's arm around her. It helped ground and comfort her at the same time. She was quite aware that his heart belonged elsewhere. That was okay. Her heart longed for someone else too. Maybe it wasn't love yet but it had been there for a long time. She turned her head and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Please get us out of here."

"Thank God for small miracles." Leo muttered as she agreed she was ready to leave. It was a rare thing for anyone to be able to turn his mood around even in the slightest these days. The quick kiss on the cheek nearly had him pull away, had it been anyone else he certainly would have. A kiss on the cheek would usually pass only with permission, on incredibly rare occasions, or if it was someone he was seeing. Not that he did that very often. Kissing on the lips? Completely out of the question, and he reminded himself she hadn't crossed that line as he nodded at her request and led her out towards a car. "I don't know about you, but I've never been happier to get the hell out of a place. I say that not as an insult either. I swear, had anyone else tried to take me to this thing, I would have left minutes after arriving, and to hell with the date." He helped her into the car before going around and getting in on the other side as he started the car to drive her home he added, "I don't think I can thank you enough... you know, for asking me to this thing. I really did enjoy going with you." He knew she understood how he was feeling, he'd seen the look in her eyes, and the direction her gaze had gone. He wasn't going to make her feel bad, and he certainly wasn't going to point out that he was second best pick.

Nick was happy to have Leo to lean on as he led her back out to the car. "Honestly, I was more than happy to get out of there. And please...don't thank me. I, mean, I'm glad you said yes. I don't think I could have faced that alone." She really liked Leo's company but it was clear that other's loomed large in both their lives. "And I enjoyed your company. Really. You're great." Annick could hear herself beginning to ramble and cut herself off. It would have just gone completely downhill from there.

Her comment had him laugh, “We sound like we’re trying to either convince ourselves, or each other, that we enjoy each other’s company. Which is a little sad, considering you’re one of the very few people I actually enjoy being around these days.” He pulled out of his parking spot and began driving. “So, do you wanna talk about it, or are we going to go with the ‘let’s pretend it never happened’ route?” Leo came to a stop and glanced over at Annick, trying to gauge how she was feeling now that they’d finally gotten away from the party.

"I know I enjoy your company or I wouldn't have asked," Nick said. Feeling distinctly less wobbly now that she was seated. "I am leaning toward the latter but I suppose that isn't fair...same old story, girl crushes on boy. Boy is oblivious. And girl is too awkward to actually say anything after having her heart broken years prior." Nick shrugged. "You have that same look...you know. The heartbroken one. It is okay, I get it."

Leo listened, and then as he began to drive again, he said, “You should just tell him. And I know you’ll say that whole awkwardness prevents you but hear me out. Just tell him. You have nothing to lose. If he doesn’t want to reciprocate, yes, it’ll hurt. But you know what will hurt worse? Not telling him, and never knowing and always asking ‘what if’ when you see him happy with someone else. If you tell him and he turns you down? Then you finally have time to heal and move on. Otherwise, you’ll never be able to fully and truly invest in someone else. So, just do it, Annick. It’s better you do.” He frowned at the fact that he looked heartbroken, even though he was. “If I’m heartbroken, it’s my own fucking fault. And I deserved what I had to deal with tonight because of it.”

Annick sighed. Leo was right, of course. But that didn't make it easy. "Okay okay, stop with your logic and making sense." He said she had nothing to lose. But when you'd already lost so much, it was hard to take that risk again. "He's not exactly the boy next door, Leo. I can't write a note and ask him 'do you like me, check yes or no.'" Annick's frown matched his. "So I was right. You're still in love, aren't you?" Weren't they a pair?"

Leo let out a huff that sounded almost as though he wanted to laugh, except he didn’t quite have the energy for it. “I’d just like to see you happy.” He began, and he knew that she was right to an extent. “Nobody ever said it would be easy. But love is never easy, I learned that the hard way. It’s messy. It’s difficult. It’s confusing... but it’s worth it. Just have a conversation with him and let him know. Explain your concerns, be honest and up front. If he’s a decent man, he won’t hold your fears against you. If he’s a piece of shit then it’ll make it easier to move on.” In the end, she just needed to tell him and get it all over with. There was no point in torturing herself with what ifs. Giving advice, however, was far easier than hearing his truths spoken out loud. He inhaled sharply, and cringed. Silence passed for a moment before he finally spoke, and at that his voice was thick and low as if he were afraid to tell someone else and make it more real. “Yes, I’m still in love.” One of his hands pulled away from the steering wheel and rubbed at his chest. “Sometimes I worry I’ll never stop loving him, and I’ll spend my whole life watching him love someone else because of my mistakes... and what’s worse is I know... I know how much he’s worth, and I’ll never be able to go back and do it all differently. I’ll never be able to take back what I did.”

In that moment, Nick wished she'd not said the words out loud. She really liked Leo and she didn't believe for a second that whatever he'd done was so horrible that it couldn't be ammended. And even if he did do something horrible, didn't he deserve forgiveness? Even if she didn't love her ex any more, she'd forgiven him long ago. She still had issues. Forgiving him hadn't made those go away. "Leo...I...I have no idea what happened. But you have to know that if he loved you back...that doesn't just vanish. Even hurt people can still love."

Her words brought back the memory of Cristian in the bathroom at the bar. The emotion that had been on his face. The words he’d said to him. Leo cleared his throat and fought back the pain that rushed through him. “I’m sure... in some way, he might love me. Just, maybe not in love with me.” And wasn’t that the biggest problem. “People don’t generally go back to the ones who left them, Annick... and I left him. I left and didn’t tell him why. Not then. He knows now. It doesn’t matter. He was at that party with someone else, and... that’s the way it should be. He deserves that. He deserves happiness.”

She was hardly the person who should be giving advice on love. She'd loved someone who cheated on her in her own bed. "Maybe. Maybe not. Leaving...I don't think that's the worst thing you can do. But...you know, it's not my business. One last thing though...I was at that party with someone else too. Sometimes things aren't always what they seem."

"Maybe it's not the worst thing that I could have done, but it's pretty bad when the person you leave... never mind." Leo sighed in frustration. "Maybe wasn't what it seemed... but he's moving on." And that hurt him more than he had even imagined that it would. "Can we talk about something else? Anything else. Otherwise, we'll end the night and you'll see me in tears, and I warn you, I hate crying in front of people. I've only done it with one other person."

"Hey fair enough," Nick said, putting up her hands. She wasn't about to make things worse. "Hey did  you see that couple that clashed? I didn't know anyone owned a chartreuse suit."

Grateful that she wasn't going to push the subject any more for the evening, Leo snorted at her comment. "Chartreuse suit. I'm pretty bold with what I wear when I feel like it, but I'm not so sure that I'm that bold. There was bound to be a couple to clash. Do you think they did it on purpose?" He asked, making a turn as he continued driving.

"Good lord, I hope not. I can't wait to see what Jean-Michele has to say about that fashion decision," Nick chuckled looking over at Leo. "Bold suits you. You looked very handsome tonight." Leo was right, they'd made a very striking couple and they got on very well. If their hearts weren't somewhere else..."Thanks for saying yes," Nick said genuinely.

Leo actually let out a short laugh. "I can only imagine what he'll say." He'd been on the receiving end of gossip before, but not for failing to dress well. He glanced over at her and gave her one of his rare smiles. "And you look beautiful." He meant it, she did look incredible. The color she wore looked good on her, and it only enhanced her beauty, in his opinion. "I should be thanking you for asking. Lucky me. Here I thought I'd have to suffer this alone, and instead I got to go with someone whose company I actually enjoy. Then, you also look good. So, at the least you have to allow me to thank you as well."

Nick flushed at the compliment, hearing the sincerity. "I suppose you are right. You're welcome," she said. "So I make a wicked cup of coffee and I make for good company? I feel like I should be getting extra points or a gold star or something," she teased, continuing with humor after once again turning the conversation serious.

A slight smile formed on his face and he nodded in agreement. "A gold star, perhaps, but you definitely deserve some sort of prize." Leo finally pulled up in front of Annick's place, putting the car in park and killing the engine, but not moving. "I'll have to find some way to repay you for your company and coffee. I feel like you've got all the advantage right now." He commented with a smile over in her direction. "Usually, it's supposed to be the other way around."

That smile had melted more then one heart. Nick was sure of it. "I am sure you will figure out a way," she said, letting him take that however he would. She was in no mood to be alone after the evening she...well, they had both had.

There was a moment where Leo considered what she said to him. Certainly, she wasn't suggesting what he thought she was. He hadn't been with anyone since Cristian. He'd only been to the brothel, and even then, his interactions had been more about orders and service to him, not sexual. Still, he felt like they were both in the same place, and God he could use it. The smile on his face became more of a smirk as he narrowed his eyes on her. "I can think of one way, but that would depend on whether you're up for it."

A small shiver ran over her at his look. It held dark promise and she was all for that. "I think you would be surprised what I would be up for...does that mean you are coming in?"

He hadn't expected the question, but there was an anticipation at her request, and he certainly wasn't going to turn it down now. Perhaps, he should have given what they were both going through, but he was never the best at making good decisions. Leo was much better at being selfish. "Yes. That means I'm definitely coming in." He climbed out of the car, and walked around to the passenger side, pulling the door open and holding his hand down to help her out. "Lead the way."

Anticipation was a heady thing and it was coursing through Annick as she took Leo's hand and let him help her from the car. She him up to her small flat, glad that she was an inherently tidy person. "It's small but mine..." she explained unlocking the door and letting him in.  It wasn't huge and modern but cozy. She spent so much time at Brainwash that she didnt need much.

Following behind her, Leo shook his head as she seemingly tried to lower his expectations for what her place looked like. "I assure you, it's fine." She hadn't seen his apartment here. She likely never would. It was small, cramped, he had still refused to unpack and boxes were piled up against the walls. The only signs that he lived in his own apartment were the dishes he'd unpacked, his alcohol, his bed, his clothes, the photo of him and Cristian on his nightstand, and the linen he needed for his bed and showering. It was a huge contrast from his usually extremely tidy self. "I can guarantee you mine is much worse." It didn't matter to him, he was there for her, anyway. Whatever the space looked like, he wouldn't care beyond surveying it to see how best to utilize the space.

Annick let the door swing open and stepped inside, waiting for him to step over the threshold before closing and locking the door behind him. She removed her jacket and hung  it on the coat tree by the door. This was always the part where she wasn't to do next. "It's mine, that is what matters." And no one could take it from her.

As he stepped inside after her, Leo's eyes took in what he could see of her apartment. He flashed her a small smile, "That's all that matters, and you can be proud of that." His eyes landed back on Annick and his brow arched, "That's enough of the small talk, though, don't you think? Now... where's the bedroom?"

Annick didn't bother answering. She pointed to an open doorway off to the side of her main living space, stomach fluttering in anticipation. Her heels clicked across the wood floor as she led him to the bedroom. Inside, she turned to face him. "Now what, Sir?"

His eyes immediately went in the direction Annick pointed in, and then followed her as she went in that direction. The moment that she turned around and asked what was next, he couldn't help the smirk that formed on his face. Now came the fun part, at least for him, and it had been years since he'd had the opportunity to have a submissive this way because he'd denied himself this whole time. Moving towards her slowly, his eyes went from her own, running down the length of her body leisurely, before going back up at the same pace and locking on her gaze as he closed what little space there was between them. His arm wound around her waist pulling her into his body and his lips stopped next to her ear where he spoke low, but firmly, "Now, you'll take off your dress." Before stepping away from her so that he could watch.

Nick's eyes never left Leo's as she slid one strap off her shoulder and then the other. She reached behind her and slid the zipper down. a bit before letting it fall past her hips. It left her standing in front of him with heels and delicate lace thong, chest bare as her dress had not allowed for a proper bra. She may be awkward at time but Nick wasn't shy about her body. She could stand without shame, meeting Leo's steady gaze with her own. She stepped out of the circle of her dress at her feet and kicked it aside.

If there was one thing Leo could appreciate, it was a submissive who had confidence. He hated one who put their body down, he didn't mind someone being shy, but he had no patience for someone who couldn't love their own body. It was evident in the way she held his gaze the entire time that she had no qualms with what he was seeing. Leo certainly took in the sight of her, appreciating what he was seeing so far. He would have a closer look in a moment, but first, manners. "Very good." He murmured before crossing his arms over his chest. "Now, before I go any further, we should discuss limits. I need to know what yours are, and I should know if you use a safe word, just in case." He doubted they would need it, but it was always good to know.

Annick felt her body heat as he surveyed her. The questions were comforting and she was appreciative that he asked. "My limits are anything pertaining to the bathroom, isolation and permanent marks." She paused, wondering what he actually had in mind. "My safe word is Java."

With a nod, Leo moved in closer, again, walking towards her slowly. As he came to a stop before her his hand lifted and he grabbed her chin, holding her face so that she was forced to look at him as he spoke. "There is one rule you absolutely will follow with me. You will not kiss me on the lips. Is that understood?" He didn't wait for a response before saying, "Anywhere else is fine, and I'll work within your limits." He stepped back and let his hand travel down from her chin, down her neck, in between her breasts before it came to a rest on her hip. He walked around her slowly in a circle admiring every inch of her, she was stunning, before stopping in front of her again. "Beautiful."

"Yes, Sir, understood," Nick managed, heart racing now that he was touching her. It was not difficult to make that promise, not when he was looking at her with that intensity. His appraisal sent a wave of need through her. She remained still as he walked around her, heart refusing to slow. The compliment pulled color to her cheeks. "Thank you Sir."

He smiled as she thanked him before lifting his hands to her hair to carefully pull it loose. He then grabbed a handful and tugged her head back so that her neck was exposed to him. He leaned in, running his teeth along her skin before his other hand ran along her side, grabbing her hip and he let go of her hair to allow himself to turn her around so her back faced him. Leo pushed her over the bed so that the top half of her body laid on the mattress, he leaned over her, his clothed body pressing against hers. With one hand he tugged at her hair again, "Don't move." Releasing her hair, his fingers trailed over he back before his hand ran over the curve of her bottom and he gave it a slap. He then pushed himself upright, first removing his suit jacket. and then rolled the sleeves of his shirt up. His hands went to his belt and he pulled it out of the loops and folded it in half, giving it a snap. It had been some time since he'd used this on someone. "Do you want me to use this belt on you, Annick? I want to hear you beg for it."

The loosening of her hair was deceptively gentle, something she found to be true as he used her hair to tug back her head. Thankfully, he hadn't told her to be silent. Nick gasped as his teeth grazed her neck.  It had always been a sensitive area. Annick was slight enough that she could easily be maneuvered though Leo's size made it that much easier. She relished that he didn't treat her like she was completely fragile, though instinctively she knew she could trust him not to go too far. His touch was enough to send her senses into overdrive, so much so that when he swatted her ass, she let out a truly embarrassing moan. She missed the weight of his body against her as he stood, the sound of his belt leaving the loops of his pants loud in the otherwise quiet room." "Oh please...please Sir," Annick said, words needy as her masochistic side rose to the surface. "Use your belt, please."

Leo always did love to hear a submissive beg. Even better was how needy it sounded when the words left her lips. It sent a heat through him that drove him. As she finished begging he gave no warning before he placed a carefully aimed strike across her exposed behind. Stepping in he ran his hand over the area in slow circles letting the belt in his dominant hand trail along the length of her spine slowly. He watched her reactions before he stepped back and gave the other side a matching mark from his belt, only to run his hand over that area as well. As his hand ran over her skin he used his foot to kick her legs open, and let his belt run up her inner thigh and teasingly close to her core.

Nick's body was tense as she waited for the blow she knew was coming. She knew she should try to relax but anticipation kept her right on the edge. The sharp sting of leather against her skin pulled out a startled cry, the heat from the blow sending a flood straight to the crotch of her thong. The belt was like an extension of the dominant himself. Everywhere it touched, it left a trail of heat. Another cry at the second blow, this one ending on a wanton moan. She trembled as the leather traced her spine and scrambled to adjust as he widened her stance. The kiss of the belt between her legs pulled a quiet whimper as Annick continued to fight the urge to move.

The sounds she made as he used his belt on her drew a smirk. He absolutely loved hearing the sounds that she was making, and he wanted more. Needed to hear more. "You're doing good." He knew he had set her to a nearly impossible task by demanding she not move. With that, he brought the belt down on the back of her thigh, just under the curve of her ass. Then he did the same to the other side. His free hand reached for her thong, letting his fingers trace the line of it go her center.

The praise did a lot to assure Nick that he was pleased. After all, knowing that she was pleasing the Dominant she was with was the biggest rush. It gave her far more pleasure than anything else. As the belt hit one pale thigh, Annick couldn't help but flinch as she cried out and immediately tried to still herself as the belt landed again. She was definitely going to not be able to sit tomorrow and she was so okay with that. Nick sucked in a harsh breath as his fingers traced the lace between her thighs. "Sir."

Moving towards her, his hips right up against her Leo set the belt next to them as his hands ran over her hips and up her back, he stepped back and one of his hands moved down to spank her again, hard enough to leave another mark on her pale skin. Leo knelt behind her then and let his hands trace the lines of her legs before he leaned forward and bit at the back of one leg, not too hard, and careful to avoid the place where his belt had struck her. His fingers hooked under the band of her thong and slowly pulled it down. "Let's get this off of you." Allowing her to move so that he could pull the last, remaining piece of clothing off of her. Once it was gone, Leo was sure she was steady on her legs again, resting as she had been. He place slow kisses up the back of her thigh, and then the other. "Do you want me to touch you, Annick?" He asked as his fingers brushed close to her core. "I want to hear how much you want it."

Nick wanted more. More contact and Leo delivered. She groaned at the feeling of him pressed flushed against her before another swat saw her crying out. Each successive move on his part elicited another swifter reaction. When his teeth sank into her skin, her legs actually buckled. "Please," Nick whimpered, eyes squeezed shut as pain and pleasure blended and had her soaring higher. "Need you to touch me. Anything...just...please..."

Her begging pleas for more shot through him, driving Leo to do more and get more from her. "Ah, ah.." He warned as her legs buckled at his actions. "I said don't. Move." His hand spanked her firmly with each of his last two words, punctuating his command. They would likely leave his handprint on her, and he was pleased at that thought. However, hearing her beg for more of his touch, he happily obliged. Leo's hands firmly gripped her hips as he leaned forward and let his tongue run from her clit and up along her core in a torturously slow movement. He let out a low groan at her taste as his tongue dipped into her before moving to tease at her clit in slow sweeps.

Annick whimpered as his hand landed against her already sore ass. The move had truly been involuntary but was in no position to argue even if she wanted to. A low moan issued from her throat as his tongue parted her lips and found the most intimate part of her. She was soaked already and his wicked tongue drew another flood of wetness to her core.

Leo smirked against her as he heard her moan, pulling away he immediately replaced his tongue with his fingers. Slipping a finger into her, moving in and out of her slowly. Leo turned his head so his lips brushed the back of her thigh, and then he nipped at the skin there before saying, "You will tell me when you're about to come." In the mean time, he was going to enjoy getting her there. Removing his hands, he gripped her hips again, his mouth going back to work, his tongue moving into her just as his finger had been moments before.

Nick could feel the curve of his lips against her body. The gentle brush of lips against her thigh was in direct contrast to the way his finger moved inside her and the sharp nip that came after. "Yes sir," Nick replied, breath coming out low and breathy. The wicked slide of his tongue into her made her grasp the sheets tighter, knuckles white as she staved off her orgasm.

Sitting back, Leo’s hands ran over the marks that he’d made on her skin from his belt and hand with a satisfied smirk on his face. “Come here, Annick. Sit on the edge of the bed for me.” He commanded with a low steady voice, kneeling patiently for her to change her position.

With slow movements born of the soreness in her ass, Annick did as she was told, perching on the edge of the bed. "Like this, Sir?"

He knew it likely wasn’t comfortable to sit the way she was, but Leo wanted to remind her of what he’d done previously. “Yes.” His hands drifted up her legs. “You’re being very good for me. Remember, tell me when you’re about to come.” He hooked one arm under her knee and lifted it onto his shoulder. Nipping at her inner thigh he also added, “This time, you can move, or touch me if you like.” With that he slid a finger into her as his tongue once again found her clit.

It took all of five seconds of Leo's mouth working her over again before Nick's fingers were sliding into his hair with a sigh, thrilled to finally have an anchor. Unfortunately it didn't keep her from racing towards release. Leo was far too skilled for her to last very long. "Sir, Sir, too much...close..." she cried as she fought to keep her hips in check.

It was easy for Leo to lose himself in what he was doing, the taste of her, and the feel of her fingers in his hair. It had been far too long since he’d had any submissive holding onto him this way and he had missed that feeling. At her cries Leo stopped immediately, looking up at her. “Good girl.” Leo came to stand before her, his fingers getting a hold of her hair before pulling so that he could trail kisses up her neck. Taking a step back, he pulled away and met her eyes and crooked his finger to gesture for her to come to him. “On your knees, right here. Your turn.” He pointed to the space before him.

Annick slid off the bed and to her knees, the praise fueling her movements even as she tried to calm her breathing. She looked up from her position below him, hands resting on her knees as she waited for further instruction.

Leo's fingers were gentle at first, sliding into her hair as she knelt before him. He felt some of the stress and strain ease from him as he looked at her before him on her knees in a perfect submissive position. His fingers tightened in her hair as his other hand went to his pants. He unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. "Pull them down." Leo instructed.

Nick unconsciously licked her dry lips as Leo's hand tightened in her hair. She followed his directions to the letter, eager to earn his praise again. Nimble fingers hooked in his waist band and slid his trousers over his hips.

Fingers slipped into her hair again as he watched her follow through on his instructions. Leo took a moment to kick his shoes off, and kick aside those and his pants before tugging at Annick's hair that he still held onto so she was forced to look up at him saying, "Underwear, too."

Nick whimpered as he tugged her hair, eyes travelling up until her eyes were once again locked with his. Her fingers curled in the waist of his underwear in order to ease them down over his hips.

A smirk pulled at his features at the whimper that Annick made. With his other hand he cupped her chin, still looking her in the eye as he ran his thumb over her lips. “Now use that pretty mouth of yours to suck.”

Nick didn't hesitate. Her tongue darted out and traveled the path his thumb had drawn over her lip. Since Leo didn't seem to be in the mood for any teasing, Nick didn't bother trying to draw anything out. She leaned in, hand reaching to wrap around his cock as she drew him into her mouth delighting in the heavy weight of him on her tongue.

As her mouth wrapped around him Leo allowed his eyelids to close with a low groan escaping him. His fingers tightened in her hair, exhibiting some control for now, allowing her to do as she would for the time being and just enjoying the feel of her mouth on him. His eyes opened again, watching her every move. "What a good girl." He praised, letting his fingers run through her hair before replacing them and getting another tight grip on it again.

Every bit of praise from his mouth pushed her a little farther into her submission. It also continued to fuel her desire to be better, do more. She bobbed her head rhythmically, gazed turned up as she took as much as she could.

Another moan escaped him as Leo’s eyes too in the sight of her pleasing him. Her eyes locking on him made him smirk before both hands grabbed her hair tightly, and taking control of the pace, moving in and drawing back from her mouth. His head fell back with a low groan, “Fuck.”

Annick revelled in his moan, body responding in kind. She relaxed as best she could when he took control though her hands reached to brace themselves against his muscular thighs. Wide, watery eyes watched as his head fell back and her own moan reverberated around his length, making her sound a little ridiculous though she hardly cared at the moment. Her current world was narrowed to pleasing him and that was enough.

It had been too damn long since Leo had done something like this, and he felt himself getting close to the edge quicker than he’d anticipated. Like hell was he going to finish now. He pulled her head back from him and met her gaze. “I want to fuck you, so are you good, or am I going to need a condom?” Admittedly, he didn’t normally ask subs in the past when he was a whole lot less careful. He would either purposely take care of himself, or he’d assume. For Annick? He actually did care.

Nick looked up, eyes glazed and lips red and swollen from use. "I am good. I have an implant and am clean." She bit her lip, body still thrumming with need. "Fuck me...sir. please."

He could have thanked God that she was good to go, not that he expected any different, but he needed to check. Her begging made him burn with that need he'd pushed back so long. "Get on the bed and lay back." He commanded, releasing his hold on her to allow her to move.

At the order, Annick scrambled to obey. The begging had been sincere. She needed this as much as it seemed he did. Moving quickly she lay back on her bed, breath already coming faster.

Leo stepped away from his clothes as she moved to the bed, then wasted no time climbing on it and closing the space between them. His left hand skimmed up the back of one leg, starting at the ankle, and stopping behind her knee to pull it around his hip as he braced himself with his other arm, hovering over her. With that he thrust himself inside her with a groan, not bothering with being gentle at this point. He needed this release. As he began to move inside her he hooked her leg around his waist and let go. Leo grabbed one hand pinning it over her head, then did the same with the other.

No gentleness we needed or wanted.  Annick held her breath as he settled over her, holding her breath in anticipation. As he entered her, she cried out in pleasure, body arching toward his even as he pinned her down. Since her hands were unusable, her legs wrapped around him tightly.

Letting out a moan as her legs wrapped around him, Leo kept up his pace, and lost himself quickly in the feel of her around him. He dipped his head down, his lips finding her neck, placing a kiss there before his teeth scraped over the skin and he nipped at it gently at first. Moving to another spot to do the same, a little harder this time as he slowly released his hold on her arms, wanting to feel her touch him.

Nick's body welcomed everything Leo gave her. She moaned wantonly at the feel of his teeth, hoping she'd have a reminder later. As he released his hold, her hand greedily reach for him, needing to feel the warm of his skin and tangle slender fingers into his hair. Purposefully she clenched, needing to draw out more from him.

The feel of her fingers in his hair was near enough to have him moan, until she tugged and a loud moan tore from him, spurring him on. “Harder. Pull harder.” He demanded as his hips met hers harder than before, loving the roughness. His fingers wound into her hair as well, pulling her head to the side to expose her neck more and he bit at her neck before sucking on the exposed skin, leaving marks behind that would be visible in the coming days.

Nick had no problem conceding to that demand. Not when his lips and teeth sought to mark her and every thrust brought her closer to the edge. She gave back nearly as good as she got, nails biting into his skin on the next harsh thrust.

Feeling Annick’s nails in his skin, he groaned. After a few more hard thrusts, he hooked his arm around one of her legs, drawing it up over his shoulder as he repositioned. Getting more leverage so he could go deeper, he turned his face to nip at her leg on his shoulder where he could reach. “Fuck...” he let out as the change in position brought him even closer to the edge.

Nick gasped at the change in position, other leg remaining wrapped around his hip. Heat continued to build as he fucked her until she rode that fine edge of release. She fought it back, nails contining to dig into his skin. "C-can't...please...so close..." Nick's words were closer to babble at this point as she did her best to put the brakes on her release.

As much as Leo wanted that release. He wanted to make her wait just a little longer. Pulling out quickly, he slid her leg off his shoulder before roughly turning her over onto her stomach and pulling her hips up so she was on her knees. Without warning he positioned himself and swiftly entered her pulling her hips into his with a curse that filled the silence. He reached forward, grabbing her hair once again and pulling her head back as he leaned over her and bit at her shoulder. “Beg. Beg for me to let you come.”

Annick hadn't expected the movement but didn't fight it. It was thrilling really that Leo was able to move her with such ease. Her own cry overrode his curse as he entered her, soaked folds easily welcoming his length back into her body. The sharp pain of having her head pulled back brought tears to her eyes. "F-fuck...please...please Sir," Nick sobbed, tears threatening to spill over even as her body demanded release.

She couldn’t see the smirk that crossed his features as she begged. He didn’t give her permission immediately, however, letting his hips work against her for a little longer before he knew he was reaching the end of his own control. His free hand went around her hip, his fingers finding her sensitive bud, teasing it to help bring about the orgasm he was seeking from her. “Come for me, now, Annick.” The command sounding more like a growl.

Nick had a white-knuckled grip on the sheets underneath her. It took every ounce of her willpower to keep hanging on and not let the pleasure overtake her. Another cry issued from her as he found her clit and it took only that little bit of contact and his permission for her to shatter apart spectacularly.

Seeing her come undone from his actions, Leo let out a moan. He could feel her tighten around him, drawing him closer to his own release. Seeking his own end, his hands went to her hips, gripping tightly as his hips drove into hers. It wasn't much longer, now that he wasn't trying to maintain control, that he cried out, "FUCK!" His hips slowing as he rode out the waves of his own orgasm before collapsing over her back for just a moment before, rather ungracefully, removing himself and falling onto his back next to her with a satisfied groan.

There was just something about when a partner lost control that sent a rush through Annick. She had caused that pleasure. That feeling was nearly always better than her own release. She felt the weight of him for a moment before he was gone and she was left empty. It would bother her later, maybe. But now, she collapsed herself, head buried in her arms.

Turning his head to look over at her, Leo had a fleeting moment where he worried whether he might have been too rough, but then pushed the thought aside. "How're you feeling?" He asked with genuine concern. "Do you need me to take care of where I used my belt on you?" Those would likely be the most painful of the areas, as he hadn't been gentle with his lashes.

Annick turned her head, a loopy sort of smile on her face. "I feel amazing," she said still a bit dazed. "I should be fine. I can't see back there though. I have some arnica in the bathroom if you could help me with that." It hadn't been so intense she was at risk of dropping. She was good with feeling very bruise left behind but better safe than sorry. "How are you feeling? No regrets?"

Leaning over towards her, he took a look and nodded. "You should be good, but I'll go get it anyway." He was about to push himself out of bed when her question hit him. He lifted a brow at her, an easy smirk on his face. "Oh please. Regrets? Absolutely not." He bent down and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "Be right back, I'm gonna get that stuff for you." He said gently before hopping out of bed and going to the bathroom, finding what he needed and returning. As he settled himself next to her, opening the container he asked, "What about you? Any regrets?" Even if Leo wasn't the sort of man to have regrets, she might have some. Didn't hurt to check.

"Absolutely none." She regretted lots of things she had done on her life but this was not one. They'd both needed it. A connection if even for a moment. That it was with someone that she was beginning to think of as a dear friend only made it better.

A small smile broke on his face, "Good." He said as he reached out to apply some arnica on her skin. Once finished, he closed the container and sighed. "I should probably get going." There was a part of him that nearly asked unless she wanted him to stay. In truth, he'd gotten used to contact after being with someone, after having been with Cristian. He actually missed that proximity, but there was another part of him that felt ready to jump out of his skin at the idea of how intimate that could get. He got up, replacing the container and when he entered the room again he began getting dressed, his eyes looking over at Annick until he finished and climbed back on the bed next to her. "Let me know if you need anything, okay? Wanna talk to me, if you just want company. Whatever you need, and I don't care what time it is. You know where to reach me." Leo said, reaching out to brush her hair back and offered her a smile. "And thank you again, for tonight, for asking me to go with you. All of it."

#[convo: annick 3] #//friends... convo... smut #the whole thing because #valentines day was balls for these two

[rose-petals-and-pine-needles]

The Boy Who Saw Flowers

Yeah, it’s true. It doesn’t make me sad anymore, but I still don’t look back happily at it. Enjoy a small window into a prominent memory of mine.

Every person has a parent inside their heart. A responsible side, a loving, caring, gentle side. This doesn’t mean you’d be a great parent, of course, but I’d like to believe that at some point you get to see that side of yourself, and of someone else.

As an overly empathetic person, I see this side of myself often. Sometimes it’s more memorable than others. But until last December, I’d never truly experienced how that felt. See, before then, I’d only ever felt motherly toward people my age, as I don’t usually associate with kids. Why would I, I’m almost 17, and I don’t babysit? But, being thrown from that environment, and into one completely new was… I guess I could say enlightening? I still wouldn’t recommend it.

It started with me. You see, I’m the perfect combination of a horrible disposition on life, a habit of over connecting to others, and a long, long, long extensive history of depression and suicidality. Sometimes I tell others a bit too much, and I receive a Baker Act. (An order issued by a social worker, officer, or jail, that forces someone to be hospitalized, in order to see a psychiatrist and doctor within 72 hours). So, I guess it really started with my third Baker Act. Due to financial reasons, I was forced into the same hospital I’d been to twice prior, and I’d rather it stay unnamed. This place had disappointed me twice already, so I wasn’t expecting anything good this time either. Indifferent staff, rude and generally violent patients, and cold, dirty living conditions welcomed me back.

The funny thing about being admitted, is that you know your place immediately. You know who the violent kids are, you can tell the depressed kids from the ones who got too much attention. And you can see the younger kids. The ones admitted mostly because their families aren’t the greatest of places for them. They’re the ones who get the least from this place. Don’t get me wrong, nobody really gets much from that place, except maybe a med change and someone to relate to, but the little ones, they’re just easy targets. Little punching bags. Especially the boys. They group us by age in rooms, so that those conflicts don’t occur as much, but when the hospital fills up like it did, they had no choice.

I was ‘welcomed’ into the filthy hallway by a nurse, a new one, with gauges and an eyebrow piercing. She was surprisingly kind, but definitely a ‘no bullshit’ kind of woman. I sat in one of three chairs in the hallway and waited for an admissions counselor to accept my baker act and discuss a treatment plan. Not five minutes went by before there was shouting coming from the day room. Two nurses ran in and left promptly after, one with a tall blonde boy in tow, one with acne scars and a broken wrist; and the other with a small brunette boy. He was crying, but silently, and his tears fell onto spots of blood, flowing from his nose. His nurse said some kind words, and went to get first aid supplies to clean up his nose and determine if it was broken or not. She put him in a the leftmost chair, leaving an empty chair between us. He held his face with his tiny hands, and pulled his knees up to his chest. This left him like a little ball on the chair.

Instantly, I was angry. Who would do this to such a small boy and why? But anger would get me nowhere good, that was certain. Then there was empathy. There had been from the moment I first saw him. I wasn’t really sure if it’d be right to do anything, but I’d rather be ignored or spat at than leave him alone to cry. That was an all too familiar feeling. After mustering a great deal of courage, I asked him if he was okay. He looked up, small bits of the blood dried down to his face, and his eyelashes glued together by tears. He nodded very softly, then looked at me expectantly. I introduced myself, telling him my first name instead of my middle, because the staff were certain to all call me by my first. Then I told him if he needed anything while the boys’ and girls’ wards were merged, to just ask. He didn’t smile or uncurl himself, I wasn’t expecting him to, but he lifted his head a little more and thanked me, then told me his name. Peter. It suited him well.

It wasn’t very long after that I was pulled into a different room, and finally seen by the admissions counselor, a man who would become a family friend soon after I was released. When I left, Peter was back in the day room, with tissues in hand, covering his nose. I pulled up a chair next to his (which was difficult because the chairs are filled with sand so that patients can’t throw them at each other). A movie was playing on the TV (which sat behind protective glass) but no one really paid any attention to it. There were markers and papers, so some people drew, and there were uno cards, which are a big hit until your third day, when you become sick and tired of the stupid game. Peter, however, simply looked around the room, studying the walls, the tables, chairs, and floor. He stared out of the window from time to time as well. Although I can’t really say he stared out of it, more like at it. The windows were covered with beige plastic, leaving only a small gap of the outside at the top. It was enough to let sunlight in, but nothing more.

I didn’t talk to him or ask him what got him in here, I just sat a good foot away from him and looked up at the movie. It was hard to hear because of the other patients’ uno game. They shouted at each other every time a wild draw four was placed down. There were profanities and threats thrown back and forth. Nothing I’d want any child to have to listen to. Frankly, no one should have to listen to a vivid description of slitting someone’s throat and disposing of the body. At least, not when it doesn’t sound like a joke. But we couldn’t leave the day room unless we needed the bathroom. So that’s where we stayed all day. Doing nothing productive, learning nothing from uno games and screaming, and getting glared at by staff. At some point, the movie ended, but I’d already stopped paying attention. Shortly after, dinner was passed out in styrofoam trays. Basically mush, but everyone pushed and shoved past each other regardless. Food is food. Some of the boys pushed Peter’s head as they went past. Others just glared. Most of the girls ignored Peter, but most is not all. I stood up and glared at the rest of the people who passed him. No one else bothered him, because no one knew why I was there yet. All they knew was that the police brought me in. So they were all cautious. Resting bitch face is an asset, no matter what you think.

Peter and I were the last in line. He quietly made a joke about how disgusting the food was, and whispered his laugh. This made me smile, quite a bit. I was ecstatic that he’d said something to me, and that the something was a joke. But, he was so quiet, trembling and keeping a good distance away from the rest of the line.

Dinner was uneventful. After scaring a couple patients, the news spread around, and no one came near us. I threw away both my tray and Peter’s, and on the way back to our table, snagged a small stack of paper and two markers, orange and red. I sat down again, and asked if he liked to draw. He nodded very enthusiastically. He asked if I did too. I told him I enjoy drawing, but I’m no good. My art is all stick figures. I held out both markers and he took the orange one. We both started drawing. I drew a cat, a pine tree, and a coffee cup; nothing impressive. When I’d finished all those, I looked to see what Peter had done. He was in the middle of a very realistic flower. He’d pause every few seconds, and look off into space, before continuing to draw. I told him it was really pretty and asked what kind of flower it was. He shrugged at me. He told me he didn’t know, it was just pretty. I agreed and watched him finish it. It took up nearly half the paper, and bloomed right off the page. He capped his marker and put it down. ‘Want it?’ he asked. Of course I did. He paused and we were both quiet for a couple minutes.

“I see that one all the time.” He said suddenly.

“The flower?”

He confirmed with a nod.

“Why are you here? You’re really nice.” He looked up at me.

“I’ve been having a rough time recently. I’m just… really sad.” I explained.

“Depressed? My mom’s depressed. She’s really sad all the time too.” He told me.

“Yeah, I��m depressed.” I smiled sadly at him.

We were quiet again. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by asking why he was here. I felt it was a touchy subject.

“Who’s in your room?” I asked.

“Adrian,” another younger kid. “and Holden,” The blonde. “There’s no space for me to move rooms.” He explained before I could suggest that he should move rooms.

“Well, try your best to stay out of his way, alright?” I suggested instead.

Peter nodded. He looked noticeably happier than before, and that was a win. I was transferred into the girls side of the hallway soon after, and given a room with only one other girl in it. Mary. Because I had two functioning ears, she began telling me everything she knew, as if I cared about why the others were here. She asked why I was admitted, and I told the truth. I was tempted to tell her I got in a fight, but if the nurses heard that I’d only stay longer. She bragged about how close she sat to Holden during morning group that morning, and mused about how hot he was. Maybe he would’ve been a little cute if he look care of his skin… and didn’t act like a dick. After she finished, there was only one other patient she hadn’t mentioned. I didn’t have to ask either.

“You know that kid has schizophrenia, right? Doesn’t he creep you out?” She asked, but it sounded more like an accusation.

I told her I knew. I didn’t, at least, not until she told me, but it didn’t really matter to me anyway. Peter was kind, his smile warm and his eyes bright. The roommate told me I was weird for hanging around an insane kid. I rolled over in bed (in cot?) and ignored her.

Breakfast flew past us the next morning, and they assembled all the kids for a group session. There were two of these a day. The girls got to the day room first, so I grabbed a seat with an empty one next to it and waited for Peter. He came in last, behind Holden. Holden looked exhausted, his blonde hair disheveled, and his steps long and clumsy. He sat down with great effort, and a wince. Peter trotted over to me and took the seat I saved. We said our good mornings and before group started, he told me about his night. Holden tried attacking Peter again, and this time, Adrian got a nurse. The nurse sedated him and he spent the night restrained. Holden was telling his adaptation of the story too. One where Peter was the instigator. Any way he told it wasn’t very credible, however; he ended up sedated, Peter did not. Either way, Peter looked happier, almost confident, and that was truly heartwarming.

Group was boring and noneducational as usual, and left us all in the day room with our paper, markers, and uno. I ripped a couple papers into squares and taught Peter some origami. He was actually very good at it, his folds were precise and his fingers were small enough to make the intricate steps easier. He was quiet and focused on a crane when he finally spoke up.

“Can I tell you something?” He asked, not looking away from his paper.

“Yeah, of course, hon.” I smiled and looked at him.

“Promise not to hate me?” He put the unfinished bird on the table and looked at me this time.

“Promise.” I held out my pinky finger.

Pinky promises are the most serious of promises. You can’t break them. Children seem to understand that the best. He wrapped his pinky around mine, then we both get go.

“I see things...  that aren’t really there. I’m crazy.” He frowned with earnest eyes.

I couldn’t say anything yet. What was the right thing to say? An eight year old shouldn’t think they’re insane, and the world shouldn’t tell him that he is. It was hard not to cry when i finally responded.

“I have a friend at home that does too. That doesn’t make him crazy; he’s actually really sweet. That doesn’t make you crazy either. That makes you stronger than anyone else.” I reassured him.

I hoped my words would reach him, but I didn’t know him well enough to know exactly what to say.

“What does he see?” Peter asked.

I could tell he was happy that I didn’t turn on him like all the others.

“I don’t know. I’ve never asked him.” I replied.

“Is he strong?” Peter asked.

“And smart.” I smiled.

He is strong. One of the strongest people I know. He has his lows and highs, but most importantly, he survives. He overcomes, and he can still smile.

“But, I like my schizophrenia. That’s why I’m crazy.” He tripped over the word schizophrenia, and got quieter as he spoke.

“That’s okay. If you like it, it’s not a problem.” I reasoned.

“When I’m sad, I see flowers.” He looked away from me.

I looked down at my lap too. What do I say? That’s neat? Take your meds anyway? Nothing sounded right.

We didn’t really talk much after that. We had some conversation, and it wasn’t like he was mad or uncomfortable, I simply didn’t know what I could do to help. He didn’t seem to want to bring it up again either. So we left it.

Lunch passed, then dinner, and we were separated. The next day, he was released around lunch.

They sent him to collect his things. He did so, and went to the day room to say goodbye. He came up only to me, as he had no reason to speak to anyone else. He stood in front of my chair, and our eyes became level.

“Don’t come back here, okay?” I said quietly.

He nodded, then wrapped his skinny arms around me. I hugged him back. I was crying when he let go, and so was he.

“Hold onto your flowers.” I smiled at him.

“Okay. Try to be happy.” He smiled too.

And then he left. During the rest of the stay, I ended up scolding Holden (successfully) and befriending him. I’d come to regret that later, but that’s a different story. I haven’t seen Peter since. I don’t expect to see him ever again. He’ll be in my mind for a while though. I honestly can’t believe it took this long to write something about him. If anyone else told me to ‘be happy’, I’d brush it off. I’m depressed, I can’t just ‘be happy’ whenever I feel like it. But from Peter. From an eight year old, the words sounded simple and wise, in an odd, innocent way. I’m thankful that I met him, and that I was able to help for a little while. I hope neither of us return; because I’m trying my best to make things better, and somewhere, a boy is keeping his flowers close by. I wish him the best.

[annabelleholly]

Easy to Remember, Harder to Move On | Self Para

Annabelle was sitting on the couch, her foot tapping restlessly against the floor. She had put something on the television, and it flickered inanely in the dark room. She wasn't sure how long she'd been sitting there, but Gabriel wasn't home yet, so it couldn't be too late. She felt like she was shaking, despite the blanket she'd wrapped around herself, holding tight. It wasn't him. It couldn't be. It wasn't him. It wasn't him. He was dead. She repeated it in her head like a mantra, over and over. The man she'd seen on the street wasn't Leo, it couldn't be - it was just someone who looked like him, or maybe no one at all, just a desperate plea from her still broken heart. After all, he had disappeared as soon as she'd stopped to take a double take. It wasn't him. He was dead.

Her mind wandered, replaying the days she'd lost him. She remembered it so clearly, the day Major had handed her the letter silently. Missing in action. MIA - it had always been a term used in jest with her friends before, but in that moment, it was the furthest thing from funny. She'd never used it again. Leo was missing. Looking over the top of the paper with wide eyes, she tried not to cry in front of his brother. She had simply nodded and handed it back, squeezing his arm as she walked past. Annabelle had sat on Leo's bed for hours, crying, staring at the wall when she had run out tears, curling up and falling asleep. They had spent so many nights there together - was that all over now?

That had been one of the worst nights in her life - another letter came in the mail a few months later. A letter that looked almost identical to the first. They said it had been too long. They said there had been explosions in the same areas he was likely to be. They said they had tried their best, but the likelihood of him surviving was almost non-existent at that point. They said he was dead. And that's when it all had really fallen apart. She wondered, not for the first time, how Major was doing. She had grown very fond of the boy when they were younger, and was filled with no end of shame for how things had turned out. After Leo was gone, he had gone into the system, and at first she'd tried to keep in contact, stay friends. But he had pushed her away, and she had let him. She was young, and heartbroken, and it was easier to let go of all the reminders. Still, she was the older one. She was supposed to be more mature, step up and do the right thing. She should have fought harder, done more for him - he was going through the same thing she was. There were a lot of things she should have done, but that was a moot point now. She hadn't reached out to Major in years, and it had been even longer since she'd heard from him. She wasn't sure now whether it would help or hurt to change that.

Annabelle shook herself as her phone chirped, eyes flicking toward it. Connor. She couldn't talk to him right now. He knew about Leo - after all, he was Eleanor’s brother, and Len had been there when it happened. But he didn't know that she'd never stopped loving him, never gotten over him. That Annabelle had accepted he was gone only because she had to, but not because she was healed. That she was trying desperately not to think of him when she lay awake at night. And sometimes, she didn't. Sometimes she could listen to his breathing, with her ear over his chest, counting his heartbeats, and Leo disappeared. But now was not one of those times. She knew she loved Connor, cared for him very deeply - she thought she just needed more time.

Her thoughts drifted once more, this time to the letter she had buried in the bottom of a shoe box in her closet - Leo's box. It had arrived only a few days after the first, the one that announced he was missing, and she hadn't been able to bring herself to open it. It must have been the last thing he did before whatever it was that had happened to him, and five years later, she still hadn't opened it. It was all she had left of him, and she didn't even know what it said. That thought is what spurned her on, and she uncurled her stiff limbs, her blanket falling to the floor as she hurried to her bedroom. Dropping to her knees, she pulled the box out, yanking the lid off and searching through to the bottom with trembling fingers. It was there - just where she knew it would be. She stood slowly, staring at the front. Her name. His writing. It brought tears to her eyes but she blinked them away, sitting numbly on the end of her bed and waiting for her heart to slow before she turned it over, tearing the seal.

She could almost hear his voice as she read, and eventually she lost the battle with herself, a single tear falling slowly down her cheek. It wasn’t unlike his prior letters - all tucked away in the same box, but opened, thoroughly dissected, and answered long ago - detailing whatever had been happening on the base at the time. Annabelle smiled fleetingly as he described a prank one of the juniors had pulled on their commander, and for a second, she thought she could hear the ghost of his laughter joining hers. Had he been smiling when he wrote it, as he replayed it in his head for her? Laughing? Had he been in a rush? Taking his time? She had so many questions - but she read on. She swallowed around a lump in her throat as he wrote about the detail he’d been assigned to - leaving the next morning in a convoy. This had been one of the last things he’d done before he’d left - before he’d gone missing.

But more than anything, her eyes were glued to the last few words on the page. 

I can’t wait to be home with you again. Never forget how much I love you.  All my love, Leo.

Her tears came in earnest now, and she lowered the letter, resting her hand on her lap as the other came up to cover her mouth. She felt her hair sliding across her shoulders, and realized she had been shaking her head back and forth, as if trying to argue with the universe that it wasn’t real. She wasn’t sure she should have opened it - it was like her heart was breaking all over again. Like her only partly healed wounds had been ripped open once more, as tender and painful as the day they’d occurred. 

She found herself back in front of her closet, pulling every item out of the small box - all of his letters, an old shirt, a couple of framed pictures, the locket she used to wear around her neck. Opening it, she stared at the small picture of him before closing it once more and fisting her fingers around the cool metal, turning her attention to one of the pictures of the two of them. She looked so much younger than only five years ago - had she really changed that much? Annabelle rubbed her finger across the dusty glass, wiping it away from his face, looking at it clearly for the first time since she’d packed up her stuff and left his house. 

“I miss you.” She whispered.

#both y'all let me know if i should change any of this! #easy to remember

[130-mood-scenarios]

By Chance

This was originally meant to be just one scenario but I got so inspired by this request that I just kept writing. After much thought, I decided to turn it into a two-part series. I’m still working on the second part! Let me know what you think will happen next!! Also, this anon is so cute, bless you whoever you are. You made my day!

Request: Hi, how are you doing? Can I request a Jaebum (got7) scenario where he sends texts to a wrong number and continuous talking to the person until he developed a crush on her and one day his friends send him to a blind date with a friend of them who happens to be the girl he texts with, please? Sorry if I'm asking too much... But thank you very much and have a great day!!!!Happy New year btw I hope that your dreams and gols can be reach in 2018! Have a great year and a great life! Be happy!!

Cutest and nicest Anon ever!!!

Pairing: Jaebum x Reader ( x and Jae of DAY6 for a little bit )

Genre: Fluff, I think

The amount of people crammed into the one dorm room Jaebum was currently trying to maneuver his way through was insane. He’d never seen this many people in such a small space and he was feeling slightly overwhelmed. He pushed through bodies, arms glued to his side. Thoughts of leaving crossed his mind, but as leader of his group he felt it respectful to stay and celebrate their comrade’s album release. As his eyes scanned the room, he mostly noticed people he knew from the company but there were also a ton of people he had never seen before. He assumed the strangers were friends of the DAY6 members.  

You’d met Brian over a year ago. You shared a couple classes at the university you both attended, and you hit it off right away. You were only acquaintances with his bandmates, he’d introduced you just a couple weeks prior. But, admittedly you took a liking to the taller one. So when Brian invited you to their “little” release party, you immediately said yes.  

That would explain how you were currently in the kitchen with Jae, bodies so close you could hear each other’s whispers over the blaring music. He liked you too, and he’d begged Brian all month to invite you to the party.

“So that’s how we made it back to the venue with two minutes to spare, despite Wonpil’s terrible GPS noobness.”

Jae had been telling you the heroic story about how he’d saved their show after Wonpil had allegedly directed them the wrong direction. Being the charismatic person he is, or maybe it was the fact you were extremely attracted to him, had you hooked on his every word. So much so that you’d lost track of time.

“Wow, you are a true hero Jae.” You said, a soft chuckle escaping your lips. You felt your phone vibrating, signaling a call. Your hand reached to your back pocket, taking out your phone and revealing a call from one of your best friends. It was her birthday and you had agreed to meet at the club with her and a couple other friends to celebrate way before Brian had talked to you about the party. Your mouth shifted from a smile to an “o” shape. Before your finger could slide across your phone to accept the call, the screen turned black. Of course, with the excitement of the party you’d forgotten to charge your phone before leaving. Just as you’d forgotten you’d already had plans before accepting Brian’s invitation. “What time is it?” You asked Jae, who was now looking at you, slightly confused.

“Uh,” He looked at the built-in digital clock on the stove. “11:43, is everything alright?”

“Yeah, listen. I have to go, it’s my best friend’s birthday and I promised I’d celebrate with her. But, congrats on your new album!”

You both went in for a hug and as you were about to leave the kitchen, Jae called out for you.

“Y/N, wait!!! Um, can I have your number? I’d love to see you again..” He asked.

You approached him with a nod. “Yeah, hand me your phone.”

Jae’s hand instinctively reached into his back pocket, only to find nothing there. His eyes closed and his head hung back in defeat, remembering he was currently phoneless. “My phone is broken.”

“Mine is dead.” You frowned.

As if a light bulb went on above his head, he jolted from his defeated position and rummaged through one of the kitchen drawers. He came back to you with a pen and scrap piece of paper. With a smile, you quickly wrote your phone number down and handed it back to him.

He placed the pen and paper on the counter, hugging you once more. “I’ll text you.”

Seconds before reaching the kitchen doorway, you halted. Three guys in front of you, barely avoiding a collision. Just before moving aside to let them through, one of them made room for you to pass. With a small bow you thanked them and were on your way.

“Jaebum-hyung!”

The raven-haired leader had been making his way through the crowd, greeting people he knew here and there when he noticed the balcony door was open. He politely excused himself with a bow, releasing himself from the conversation he wasn’t interested in to begin with.  As if on a mission, he started making his way toward what he thought would be his quiet haven when someone yelled his name. He turned toward the direction he thought he heard the voice coming from. A few feet away he saw Wonpil and Jinyoung slowly approaching, Wonpil being stopped every so often to be congratulated on his band’s newest release.

Jinyoung got to his bandmate before Wonpil could. With a soft grip on the older one’s shoulder and a gentle shake, he offered a smile. “This place is packed, isn’t it?”

Jaebum nodded. “Why did they invite so many people?”

“I don’t know,” Jinyoung shrugged. “I guess it feels good to share your successes with a lot of people. Wouldn’t you agree?”

“Sure,” Jaebum agreed, nodding once again.

“Jaebum-hyungggggg!!” An intoxicated Yugyeom accompanied by a smiley Wonpil approached the two.

Jaebum huffed, his hands in his pockets as he thought of what a long night he had ahead of him. “Wonpil, congratulations.”

Wonpil nodded and let out a quick thanks before he was pulled away by another one of Jaebum’s acquaintances.

“Yugyeom, how much have you had to drink?” Jaebum inquired. “I didn’t even know they would have alcohol here.”

“They don’t.” Jinyoung interjected. “I don’t know where he got it from.”

Jaebum looked at the youngest member sternly but he only got a sloppy grin in return.

“Make him drink a lot of water.” Jaebum suggested. “And splash some really cold water on his face, while you’re at it. Oh, and-”

“NOOO!!!!!” Yugyeom interrupted, attempting to run away but stumbling over Jinyoung.

Jinyoung held him up and gave the older one a pleading look. Jaebum responded with a roll of his eyes but took one of the maknae’s arms and put it over his shoulder, grabbing his waist for further support. On their way into the kitchen they faced an obstacle, a girl trying to pass through. Rather than waste time doing the get-past-you shuffle, Jaebum stepped aside to let her through.

“Woah, what’s going on here?” Jae asked. “Is he…is he drunk?!”

Jaebum nodded, his expression still stern but dying of embarrassment on the inside. “Do you mind if we get a glass of water?” Jaebum asked. “And do you have a towel we can borrow?”

“I gotchu, I’ll be right back.” Jae said, rushing toward the direction of the rooms.

Jaebum and Jinyoung held the maknae up in front of the sink, letting the water run a little bit to cool.

“This is ridiculous,” Jaebum said, annoyance very apparent in his voice. “I’m going to have to take him home.”

“Hey guys what’s-“ Sungjin, DAY6’s leader, had walked into the kitchen. He had been told he could find Jaebum there. He saw the three hunched over the kitchen sink. With his head cocked to the side and a brow raised in curiosity he debated whether he should get involved in whatever situation they had managed to get themselves into.

Jaebum looked over his shoulder to find Sungjin staring at them curiously. With a slight nod to his head he greeted the fellow leader. “Hello, Sungjin. Congratulations on your release. I hope it’s a great success.”

“Thank you…” Sungjin responded, still very confused. “Do..do you guys need help with anything?”

“Oh..” Jaebum looked at Yugyeom again, resenting the position he had placed them in then directed his gaze back to Sungjin. “He’s not feeling very well. I’m going to take him home. “

“Ah,” Sungjin nodded. “Well I hope he feels better soon. Excuse me, I’m going to greet the other guests!”

Jaebum nodded as well and placed his hand under the faucet to check if the water was cold enough. He was getting impatient so he just reached for a paper towel and ran it under the water, squeezing the excess off before placing it on the youngest’s forehead. Jinyoung then positioned both hands under the running water, wincing a bit at the feeling of how cold it was.

Sungjin was halfway gone when he remembered why he wanted to see Jaebum in the first place. Turning around, he called out “Jaebum, I almost forgot!” He made his way back to the three, but kept a short distance.

Jaebum looked over his shoulder once again.

“You said the other day you needed help with a song, right?”

Jaebum nodded.

“Just let me know when, I’m free next week.” He was about to leave again when he remembered something else. “Oh, right. But I got a new phone and changed my number.”

“Oh, ok just-“

“AHGGHHGHHHHHPFFFTTT”

Jinyoung had splashed the cold water in Yugyeom’s face, the youngest one shaking his head in response. Wetting not just Jaebum and Jinyoung in the process, but also Sungjin. The three sober ones stood stunned. This was the last straw for Jaebum.

“Oh my…I’m sorry. We’ll leave now.” 

“No, no. It’s okay don’t worry about it. It’s just water.” Sungjin countered.

Just then, Jae returned with the towel. “Oh? What’d I miss?” He asked as he observed the scene in front of him. Jaebum and Jinyoung had water on their faces and a bit on their hair, the youngest one wedged between them still shaking his head trying to rid himself of the cold water, and Sungjin stood next to him with an expression he couldn’t quite figure out.

Sungjin took the towel from him and handed it to Jaebum. “I’ll go get more towels.”

“No, I’ll go” Jae said, leaving before Sungjin could object.

“I’m sorry.” Jaebum apologized again, clearly ashamed.

“I said it’s fine, Jaebum. Don’t worry. Listen,” Rightfully assuming Jaebum was too busy to collect his phone, Sungjin looked around and found the scrap piece of paper and pen on the table. He ripped off a small piece and wrote his number on it. “I’ll leave my number right here. I’m gonna go change. Hope he recovers quickly.” He said pointing at Yugyeom before leaving.

“Thank you,” Jaebum nodded then looked at the boy still shaking his head. “I’ll leave now, make sure no one else acts out.” He said to Jinyoung.

“Do you want me to go too?”

“No,” Jaebum declined. “Just stay and make sure everyone behaves. We are at a party but we still have an image to uphold.”

“Alright, I’ll just help you get him to the car then.”

The two men tried to make the youngest stand as straight as they could but he had gone limp, presumably starting to fall asleep. With their focus on not dropping him on their way out the kitchen, Jaebum almost forgot about the other leader’s phone number. From his peripheral vision, he saw the white piece of paper on the counter. In one swift move he had grabbed it from the counter and put it in the pocket of his jacket.  

#got7 scenarios #got7 imagines #got7 drabbles #got7 jb #jb scenarios #jb drabble #jb imagines #jaebum scenarios #jaebum drabbles #jaebum imagines #kpop scenarios #kpop imagines #kpop drabbles #jaebum #im jaebum #day6 scenarios #jae #jae scenarios #my scenarios

[astridianmayfly]

Handyman

I’M BACK TAU LET’S GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!!

---

1. The Comedian

“Dipper! We have much to discuss!”

Soos smiled as he watched Dipper fade into the circle nonchalantly. Fluffy brown hair and a wilting suit greeted Soos and his childlike greeting. Tired (powerful, golden) eyes stared at him from inside the circle. “Hey, Soos.”

“So Mr. Pines told me that you and Mabel are comin’ up Gravity Falls this weekend! Are you excited?”

Something froze in Dipper’s face. But as soon as the expression came, it was replaced with a forced smile. “Yeah, Mabel's really excited to be coming to school here. She's got a lot of friends in her grade.”

Soos, to his enduring credit, did not question the unusual circumstances of the twins moving towns and schools in the middle of high school. Or the fact that Dipper only talked about Mabel's prospects. He knew that the discussion about the process of the move to the Falls had been riddled with the awkwardness of Mark and Anna’s lack of understanding of this new world they lived in. “Cool! So anyway-”

Dipper cut him off mid-sentence. “I'd love to stay and chat, but I can't be here for long unless we make a-” his mouth puckered- “deal.”

“Oh yeah, almost forgot.” Soos grabbed a couple bags of chips out from a stash he had under the counter. He tossed them at Dipper in the circle. “How much time?”

Dipper stared at the bags and made an executive decision. “I'd say something like 45 minutes.”

(If it weren't Soos, the chips would be worth way less. But. The Family Exception was still intact, and Soos was as good as a Pines.)

“I actually need some help from you, dood.”

Dipper smiled. “What this time?”

Soos gave Dipper a faux serious face. “It's really serious, dood.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Wanna go under the porch and stick money into the cracks and see Stan’s reaction?”

“Was that even a question? Also, I'm putting a bucket of ice water above the door. It's always good to be prepared.”

“I’ve heard mayonnaise is better.”

“Don’t push it, old man.”

2. The Electrician

Splintering but soft cedar wood adorned the carved door of Soos’ second home, a rickety old weather vane creaking softly as the luminous suns of other galaxies beamed into focus. It was a breezy midnight, emerald evergreens rustling unsurely as the wind roped and snatched at the pine trees decorating the remote shack. He wasn’t positive why Stan had asked him to come to the house, but he said it was something about an electricity error. Soos observed this to be true, the usual golden glow of the lantern in the front of the house was absent from view.

A precocious gale grabbed at Soos’ skin, goosebumps rising to greet the eerie morning. With the change of wind Soos was reminded of just how cold autumns in Oregon were. He reached to knock a third time (having misplaced the pair of keys Mr. Pines gave him) when the door abruptly swung open. With his weight placed in the balls of his feet, Soos nearly fell over by the surprise of his handhold removed. After readjusting his balance, Soos took one look at Mr. Pines at the front door and had to do a double take.

Stan looked like a wreck; his shirt untucked,  buttons undone, and tie untied around his neck. His burgundy fez was practically defying gravity at the corner of his scalp. Soos supposed the only thing holding it up was the friction of unruly, greasy hair. He looked more wrinkly than he should, even for an older man, and his mouth was downturned into an unrelenting frown. His brow was furrowed and his posture bent with the labor of hardship.

He looked like a father.

With an arm bent casually on the frame, Mr. Pines scratched his head and greeted Soos bluntly: “Hey Soos. Electricity’s off.”

Soos pointed up at the forlorn lantern. “I noticed.”

“I’ll help you fix it, but could you get a move on? I was in the middle of something,” Stan said gruffly, ushering Soos into the house.

Soos had a suspicion that Stan wasn’t the one in the house who cared if the electricity was back on or not. But he complied.

“Sure thing, Mr. Pines.”

Soos meandered into the house, a hard feat; with six cardboard boxes stacked up at the entrance. “Don’t mind those, it’s just the kids’ stuff.” Stan mumbled something under his breath that sounded like, “I told them that people were gonna have a hard time getting in, but did they listen? “Noooo Grunkle Stan, we don’t wanna….”

Soos had almost forgot Dipper and Mabel were at the house, and had arrived three days prior. He was fixing a floorboard upstairs when the twins got to the Shack (their new home), and only saw a flash of Mabel’s sweater before she disappeared into her room and closed the door. She chattered for a bit, to who he assumed was Dipper, and then exited the room when Mr. Pines yelled to them down for dinner. She shrieked “Coming!” and was about to plummet down the stairs until Soos called out to her across the hallway.

“Sup, dood?” He said with open arms.

Naturally, Mabel came barreling towards his embrace at the speed of light. “Ohmigosh Soos! I missed you so much!”

Soos laughed. “We’re like, roommates now! ‘Cept Stan only lets me sleep in the break room on Saturdays. Something about ‘being an adult now’ and ‘just get married already…’”

Mabel snorted and jokingly punched his arm. “Soos, you are just too funny! How’s Melody?”

He beamed. “She’s doing great! Hey there, Dipper!”

Soos directed his question to the left of Mabel, praying that he was standing (floating) there. He always did this after the incident that racked the world the summer of 2012, and had left Dipper invisible and slightly demonic. Soos believed that he was there, not only because he had utmost faith in Mabel, but also due to the fact that Dipper had a presence. After that fateful event during the summer, during the couple days where the town was convinced Dipper had died, he would often feel the hairs on the back of his necks stand up randomly. Upon checking the thermostat, he one time watched the temperature drop by a couple degrees and then shoot back up again. Soos, at the time, had passed off these events as unrelated and insignificant occurrences. But in hindsight, he was almost sure an intangible Dipper was hovering past him, screaming for recognition.

Mabel smiled. “Dipper says he’s doing okie-dokie.”

Soos was about to say something else to Dipper, when he was interrupted by Mabel conversing with the air. “Dipper, there’s no way I’m repeating th- Can you stop interrupting me? Thanks. What? Oh yeah, I’ll tell him.” Mabel shifted her gaze back to Soos. “Dipper says that he’ll tell you where your missing screwdriver is if you give him a piece of candy.”

Soos grinned. “Sure thing dood! I’ve been looking for that all day.” Soos grabbed a skittles packet out of his pocket. He tossed it to Mabel, who handed it to thin air. Soos tried not to gape as the packet disappeared out of the air, but internally he shrugged and thought to himself: Honestly? I’ve seen weirder.

Soos was shaken out of his memory by the whine of floorboards coming from the upstairs. Stan grumbled.

Soos peered up at the peeling ceiling. “What woke them up?”

Stan gave Soos a frighteningly soulful gaze. “They’ve been awake the whole night, apparently. I woke up to every single lightbulb in the house breaking.”

“How did that happen?”

Stan didn’t answer his question. “I'm going to grab some spare light bulbs in the basement.” He typed in the code to the vending machine and ventured downstairs.

The house went quiet for a moment, and Soos heard whispers from the top of the stairs. He only caught snippets of what assumed was the twins talking.

“Dipper…”

“All my fault…”

“It's not a big deal….a goober…”

“.....is Mabel.”

“No one cares…. Soos will fix it…. Stan called…”

He only heard something else, something that could only be described as a sniffle. The house tremored with the sob, and settled down until nothing more remained.

The house plunged into darkness, and Soos was left to stare at the glass on the floor. It glimmered like the eyes of a crying child.

Soos went to the front hall closet and grabbed the broom. Broken parts had no place in his home.

3. The Contortionist

Soos was in his break room, and the walls were screaming.

They thrummed in and out, ebbing and flowing. Soos had tried the door when the earthquake-like effects had begun, but his efforts were useless. It didn't seem to be locked, almost like the actual door was glued to the frame. He felt the wood, hoping to force it open, and yelped when a piece of it splintered off and jammed itself into his finger. From under the door, an incredibly bright light shone.

And there was screaming. Anguished screaming.

All of a sudden, the walls were pressing in.

His heart in his throat, he could only do so much as whimper as the walls caved in-

-He woke in cold sweat.

Justadreamjustadreamjustadreamjustadream

Soos didn’t think he was going to sleep in the break room anymore. It didn’t really seem like a game, suddenly.

He returned to sleeping, however, and found that the rest of his dreams that night were padded with fluff and grass.

And strange-looking sheep, for some reason.

4. The Thrill Seeker

Mabel was sad.

Some days the sun was shining, and some days it rained. But when it was too hot to bear in the dead of summer, it suddenly became fun when she declared to race around the house to see who could find the fans fastest, and then it wasn't so bad anymore. In the middle of winter, the miserably frigid air indicated a game to see who could make the most snowballs, and you would feel yourself warm from the inside. With Mabel, the blah stratus clouds of a lazy Sunday became sugar-spun silver and thunder the burp of a god. The world could be raining around them, and Mabel would play games to see who could catch a souvenir of their broken sky. They said love was a weakness, but her positivity ignited everyone into action against the evil.

The sharpest knife was her sadness, and it clawed at Soos’ heartstrings. “What's got you down? Talk to Soos. According to Wendy, I'm like, a genius at this kind of thing.”

Mabel sighed. “It's not a big deal! It's just, well… you know those annoying bird-faeries?” Soos nodded solemnly. “I left the window open for them, because I saw a small colony of poor little ones struggling to make a nest.”

Soos closed his eyes profoundly. “Mabel, you are a saint.”

Mabel smiled sadly. “Yeah, yeah. Well anyways, they took my knitting needles, which was fine, I didn't really need that pair anyways. I had a better pair, pink bedazzled ones! And then they took those to make their nests, which was a little disappointing, but I could always make another glitter pair, so I didn't really mind. But today I woke up and twenty of my best sweaters were-” She sniffed- “stolen! I thought Dipper or Stan might've moved them or pranked me or something, but when I walked outside today the dumb birds had a mansion- nest!!”

“It's ok to be sad, Mabel! I know how hard you worked on those.”

Mabel sighed. “And it wasn't even that that made me sad. I had some gifts in there for holidays and upcoming birthdays and stuff. I know I'm being selfish to be so upset about something so silly, but,” she paused. “I really, really liked those sweaters. They were really authentic, you know?”

Soos let out a deep sigh. “I know how the ruining of hard work can be discouraging. It is important to remember that the value is in like, experience and stuff.”

Mabel gaped. “You’re so wise, Soos!”

Soos was on a roll. “One time I went to the store, and I put the interesting divider in my pile. But the lady working there just glared at me and put it besides my stuff. She does the same thing every single time! It would make such a cool sword. I'm on a conquest to buy it, and nothing will stand in my way!” He punched a fist in the air.

Mabel stood with a determined gaze and grabbed Soos’ shirt collar. “Do you want that super cool sword thing?”

Soos looked Mabel in the eye. “More than anything else in the world.”

Mabel punched her fist in the air. “To the GROCERY STORE!!”

***

They came rushing in later, disheveled and sweating. Mabel had a squirrel in her hair and Soos’ shirt was ripped. But the heroes prevailed; Soos was clutching three or so of the dividers. Mabel slammed the door behind her. Through heavy breaths, she unenthusiastically high fived Soos and walked sluggishly towards the living room. The hard labor of their quest warranted rest, hence Mabel then tossing her sapped limbs onto the ragged couch.

They heard the unmistakable voice of Deputy Durland cawing from outside. “You can run, but you can't hide!” A bell jingled outside to combat the unmistakable sound of sirens growing louder and louder. Mabel opened the door, screamed, “The only thing you cops hide from is your feelings!” And promptly proceeded to slam the door into the faces of the expectant police people.

Dipper floated in. “Mab- what the hell.” He was about to do the meme-esque-back-out-slowly-this-trecherous-situation-does-not-involve-me retreat when Mabel interjected with a show-and-tell attitude. “Hey Dipper! Wanna see what we stole?”

Dipper stared at her with narrowed eyes. “Stealing is illegal, Mabel.”

“Well, duh! But it was for the greater good. Look what we got!” Mabel ripped the dividers and stuck them in front of his face.

“Agh Mabel, get th-those out of my face.” Dipper pushed the things away from himself. Mabel glanced towards the door. “We should lock that.”

“They can't search the house without a warrant.” Dipper said, deadpan.

Mabel raised an eyebrow. “I’m not sure that Durland actually knows how to read, let alone is actually aware of fancy-schmancy amendments.”

“Well anyways, why did you need those? I could've gotten them for you.” Dipper squinted. “Are those the dividers they use in grocery stores?”

“Yes, they are. And we decided to get them because it’s the journey that matters, not the destination.”

Mabel high-fived Soos while he put his hands to his face. “Mabel. So profound!”

Dipper rolled his eyes. “Mabel's not the profound one, Ralph Waldo Em-”

“Blah blah blah, sorry Dipper,  I don't speak nerd! But we have an extra sword thing if you want it.” She held the third one out for him to see.

“Come on dood, Mabel and I were gonna duel with them!” Soos gave Dipper an expectant expression.

Dipper tried to condescendingly raise an eyebrow, but failed miserably. Mabel noticed and snorted, before breaking down in peals of laughter. She punched Soos’ arm. “You better spoof up your video editing, we’re gonna need to make a compilation of this. Or better yet, a gag reel to that catchy voice-cracking remix you have buried somewhere.”

Soos cocked his head. “Why, exactly?”

Mabel (expertly) wiggled her eyebrows. “Blackmail.”

Dipper (clearly) did not like to be made fun of. To spite his sibling, he exalted an, “En gardé!” He snatched one of their swords out of Mabel's hands and floated away with his pilfered weapon.

Mabel put her weapon at the ready, and handed hers to Soos. “No fair! You have the advantage! I’m calling foul on that, mister! Put your feet on the floor and hands in the air!”

Soos chased after them, armed with his divider. “Surrender our property!”

(When Stan came in later after talking with the cops, he made them relinquish their weapons. As he walked away, he was heard grumbling, “If you guys are going to steal, at least steal something useful.”)

5. The Laughing Machine

Soos woke up to the smell of blood, a distinctly iron tang. The walls of the break room had actually not closed in, but Soos still felt his chest tighten at the thought of being in the break room for a second longer. He frenetically jiggled the handle, hoping it wasn't locked. To his relief, the door creaked open and he burst outside-

-only to find a scene straight out of a horror game.

Every light was flickering, and blood was on the walls at the consistency of Christmas decorations. Soos proceeded with extreme caution. “Doods?”

And then suddenly, a scream.

Soos ran.

Stan and Mabel sat next to a small (boyish) shadow of ebony sitting on the floor, (pouring and splashing and pulsing and screaming). Mabel was deadly calm, a somber stare issued in the tremoring phantom’s direction. She held his (Dipper’s, it had to be Dipper’s) hand in a tight grip, while Mr. Pines sat in a weary stool pulled up next to the pair of them. He was hunched, rubbing his temples in exhaustion. Soos didn’t mistake Stan for being unaware; his eyes had the same determined and serious weight as Mabel’s. And as for the demon(the child)?

His eyes were dead. That was the only possible way to describe those open, scarred orbs, unblinking with complete and utter terror. Occasionally, he would close his eyelids, as if attempting escape, attempting sleep, trying and clawing out of a prison of mental torture.

Poison gold poured out of his eyes, tributaries of teary angst and martyrdom;  he quivered and caved in on himself. The noise, the thousands of bees carving chalk-laden forks onto plates, bawling with the weight of an eternal, immortal burden. Wailing, screaming, yelling, shouting for an ally, a friend, a savior

(a handyman.)

The eyes snapped up. Golden. Predatory. Saddened. Decayed. And they were searching Soos’ being, his soul, and he was as exposed as a dissected frog on a lab table.

A voice echoed off the walls. The doom of power and the demon had a verdict.

I̬̣ ͔̟̜͖̕s͇̞̫̹̜̻a̙̱w͍̱̺ ̸̠̪y͍̝̤͔ͅò̮͈u ̠̼̺̲̝d̤͎͔͕i̻̞͖e̮̯̠, the demon (Dipper) said.

Soos scratched his head.

“Ok, so that’s cool and all, but like how does it happen? Is it like, gruesome? Or wait, please don’t tell me that it’s by eating too many burritos. I don’t want to prove Abuelita right! I really don’t want to suffocate, I seriously hope that isn’t it! Do I die a hero? That would be total badass. Do I-”

He stopped talking. Mabel, Stan, and Dipper all stared at him. Dipper’s eyes were lighter, and suddenly, the shadows the room was wreathed in disappeared. Dipper opened his mouth to breathe, and Soos feared for the worst.

The reaction threw him for a loop.

Dipper was laughing.

“Oh man, Soos, that was one hell of an exorcism.”

#transcendence au #tau #taufic #mywriting #writing #fanfic #alcor the dreambender #dipper pines #mabel pines #pines family #imback #gravityfalls #gravity falls #soos ramirez #soos #underrated characters

[jhmyguardiangel]

Beastly Beautiful | Jeonghan | Ch.5

Genre: Romance, Drama, Slice of Life (SoL), AU!Jeonghan, Elite!Jeonghan

Word Count: 3.4k+

A/N: my angels who waited for so long, here’s ch.5! again, I’m sorry this took long, school’s been busy and i’ve finally mustered up the courage to write even though less ppl read this. It’s for you! ^^ enjoy!

Summary: Two different people, two different personalities, yet destiny brings them together.

Ch.4 || Ch.5

“I see you’ve grown into a handsome young man.”

-------

“I’m going for a swim later.” Jeonghan called out to Mr. Ryu. “Prepare my towel and shampoo.”

It was another day at the Yoon Manor and Jeonghan fully recovered from his bruises he had from a few weeks prior. Seeing him almost everyday made you more and more flustered around him. Ever since that day that he opened up to you and slowly, he was showing you more sides him you never knew he had. There were times were he would be cranky and annoying but mostly he was rather... attractive.

Jeonghan on the other hand, was gradually used to seeing you around as well. He used to be so irked out whenever he saw you, but as time passed, he found himself looking at you more. He didn’t realise how pretty you actually were, how kind you were and your patience on him was beyond this world. Sometimes he smiled unknowingly and got caught by his servants, which he immediately frowned at them and denied he was smiling at you.

“Very well Young master.” Mr Ryu bowed as he took his leave, only to be interrupted by Jeonghan once again.

“Oh and ask Y/N to join me. Bring some desserts as well.”

“Very well.”

School had been busy lately as you and Jeonghan were given more than ten essay reports by the principal. ‘Honours written essays’ was what he called it, which were all finished three days ago. The both of you pulled all-nighters in order to cease the constant messaging and flying emails from Mr. Lim. Now all that’s done, it was time to relax, so Jeonghan decided it was a good time to go for a swim.

You were snacking on the desserts that Mr. Song prepared after lunch and Mr. Ryu came in, “Miss Y/N, Young master has called for you.” he turned to his co-workers, “Everyone, we can take our break.”

You munched on the biscuits and nodded. “Noted, Mr. Ryu.”

Jeonghan wasn’t much of a sweet tooth but you recalled him saying that Mr. Song’s desserts were exceptionally delicious. He even had a bowl of choux creme profiteroles filled with strawberry cream on his working table as his treat. Though contrasted with his salty and bitter personality, you hadn’t seen his sweet side, just yet.

“President Jeonghan? Here are the desserts from Mr. Song.” you said as you placed it on the center table and walked to where the pool was. Jeonghan was no where to be seen. “Pres?”

You felt a towel wrapped on you, Jeonghan’s arms too. “I told you to call me Jeonghan.” he rolled his eyes.

“Okay, Jeonghan.” you crossed your arms with a tug on your lips. “What’s with the towel?”

“We’re going indoor swimming. Besides you’re wearing a suitable outfit and I need someone to check the temperature out.” he placed his hands on your waist and carried you.

“Jeonghan, put me down!” you said as he only laughed. Much to your continuous protests, Jeonghan didn’t seem to listen, eyes glued to the pool. “You know I can’t-”

“On three! One... Three!” he threw you to the pool while you squealed. “How’s the temperature? Is it warm enough?”

The water was warm enough, however, your ears were clogged and the pool was too deep. You panicked and vigourously moved your arms and legs, and the obvious fact was, you feared the water, because of a childhood trauma. Jeonghan didn’t know that but you wished he did. “Jeong- I can’t-” you tried to say but water kept being vacuumed up by you.

“What? It’s cold? I’m not going in then!” he continued laughing, his voice starting to be faint with you slowly to sinking into the deep.

You screamed your lungs out and you thought you pulled a muscle on your leg.

Crap, both of your legs were cramped.

Jeonghan’s laughter stopped when he realised you wouldn’t stop splashing. Then it hit him, you were about to drown. He stared stiffly before shaking his head and immediately dived in when he saw you plunged underwater slightly.

“It’s okay. I got you. Stop moving!”

You cried and coughed as he put his arms around your waist, swam up, and placed you on a chair. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I didn’t know you couldn’t-”

Slap.

Jeonghan blinked. Like a slow motioned scene when a bomb went off and everything went quiet, his ears deafened and the only thing he could hear was a high pitched key.

“What the heck Jeonghan?!” you breathed heavily while you cried.

He held his cheek and slowly looked at you. To be slapped by the person he might’ve liked because he did something wrong, Jeonghan knew he deserved it. “I’m sorry, I-”

“You didn’t listen to me! I tried to stop you but still threw me!” you said loudly as more tears made their way out. “How dare you!” you stood up but your legs gave in, Jeonghan held you before you even fell.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” he held you tightly in his arms,  “Forgive me.”

“I was so scared.” you cried.

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.” he placed his lips on your forehead, hoping you would notice, but he figured you were too emotional to notice.

Little did he know, you did.

“Oh goodness gracious! What’s going on here?” Mrs. Bu came in with some colas. “Why is Miss Y/N crying?”

“My legs are cramped. Jeonghan threw me to the pool and, and--” you hiccupped.

“Young master! Do mind your manners! You threw her into the pool without caring!” Mrs. Bu scolded Jeonghan, who stood up with his blonde locks dangling in front of his eyes, guilty and pained expressions seen on his face. “Come come, Miss Y/N. I’ll attend to your pain.” she turned again to Jeonghan with a softened look. “Please reflect on how to treat a lady right, my dear.”

Jeonghan’s head boiled into anger. Just what was he thinking? He gulped on the cola left on the table and broke the glass as he threw it on the floor. Mr. Ryu approached him slowly.

“Young master, here’s your towel, and your bath is--”

“Leave it!” he sighed. “What was I thinking?! Throwing her into the pool?! She could’ve drowned and I- argh!”

Mr. Ryu bent down and patted Jeonghan on the back. “I know you didn’t mean it. You saved her on time.”

“I didn’t mean- I just wanted to have some fun.. And I ruined it.”

Mr. Ryu nodded. “You didn’t know a thing, so it’s exceptional. And pardon me for saying this, Young master..” Jeonghan looked at him as he dried his hair. “Recently, I’ve seen the way you treated Y/N. Granted, you were so mean to her before but suddenly you started to treat her rather nicely. And I’m a man of observation.” he paused.

“Mm. It’s a weird feeling. I’m actually doing a good thing” he wiped his face with his towel. “It’s just that whenever she’s around, I feel lighter, I feel... happier.” he covered his face. “Ugh, this is plain weird.”

Mr. Ryu chuckled. “And as I said earlier, with the way you treat her here at the Manor, I think you’ve fallen for her more than you think you have.”

“You’re a crazy old man! I don’t like-” Jeonghan was cut off when Mr. Ryu gave a smirk and a raised eyebrow, which earned Jeonghan a brush of pink on his cheeks then to his ears.

“Denial is the first stage of falling in love, Young master.”

Jeonghan’s lips opened but closed it immediately, he couldn’t win against Mr. Ryu. He knew him since he was little. He shook his head and smiled a little, seeing you walking slowly with Mrs. Bu to your bedroom.

“You know what? Yeah.. I think I have.”

-------

“He’s just so difficult to understand, Mrs. Bu.” you stretched, your voice annoyed at the thought of Jeonghan. “I feel like he’s the girl around here. One moment he’s in a good mood, and a second later he’s a snob. When I ask something, he ignores but when he needs something he snaps at me. Does he have period or anything?”

Mrs. Bu just laughed heartily at your complaint, massaging your cramped legs. “Well, my dear. That’s how he is. Somehow, you can’t blame him. He had been through a lot since he was a little boy.”

“For the most part, he should not put it on other people.” you crossed your arms. “He should understand people’s feelings instead of exploding negativity.”

“Understand people’s feelings or understand yours?” Mrs. Bu teasingly smiled at you.

You whipped your head to her, face pink as cherry blossoms. “No I-”

“Oh Miss Y/N, you may be the smartest lady at the university but my, my, you are too easy to read. You have taken a liking on Young master.”

You ignored her, yet you were puffing your cheeks.

“Well?”

“Maybe.”

The day went by fast and it was already dark outside. You shifted on your bed, couldn’t sleep even though the night was peaceful. All you had remembered was Jeonghan’s soft lips on your forehead, comforting your broken state. Your fingers caressed the spot where he kissed you, and little by little you feel yourself heating up.

You hit yourself with another pillow you were hugging. “Why do I feel like this when he treats me like trash?”

You quickly sat up, telling yourself that it was ‘all in your head’. You confidently nodded and closed your eyes..

“I know, I know. I’m sorry.”

Kiss.

You opened your eyes. “Oh my goo- I need a glass of water to cool myself down.”

Carefully going down the stairs, the kitchen lights were turned on. It was probably Mr. Song giving last checks for the ingredients. You grabbed a glass and poured yourself cold water. Gosh how refreshing it was. You continued drinking while putting the jug back into the refrigerator, you closed the door to see a surprised Jeonghan, who was also drinking a glass of water and you thought he kind of choked when he found you on the other side of the refrigerator door.

“I couldn’t sleep so I came down to drink.” he broke the silence.

“Mm.” you nodded. “Me too.”

You placed your glass down in a hurry, clearly feeling awkward around him. “Well, I’m going up now, Jeonghan. Good-”

“Look I’m sorry about earlier. I just wanted to have some fun and I-”

“It’s okay,” you cut him. “I already forgave you.”

His eyes widened, “You did? When?”

“Um.”

“When?” he took a step closer.

When you kissed me, was what you wanted to say but as you looked at Jeonghan, he was staring at you with his chocolate eyes, looking more surprised than he already was. And that’s when you realised..

Ah I said it out loud.

Jeonghan quickly turned around, one hand on his hip and the other covering his face. He couldn’t believe it, you noticed his unintentional yet intentional kiss he gave you on your forehead even though how scared you were.

“Jeonghan?”

“Hm?” he turned to you. “Oh yeah. Um...”

“Good night.” you said with a smile as you headed to your bedroom.

“Yeah.. Good night.”

Jeonghan flopped onto his bed, still flushed as a tomato. He combed his hair back as he placed his forearm on his forehead. You forgave him after he did such a thing but that wasn’t his point.

“She noticed the kiss.. Jeonghan.” he told himself.

No matter how much he wanted to deny the fact he was starting to fall in love with you, he remembered Mr. Ryu’s words, and smiled as he finally admitted to himself.

“Ah, crap. I do like her.”

-------

The university’s campus slowly filled with autumn leaves and the wind gushing lightly around. It had been a month since the brawl of Jeonghan and Jang Doyoon. You’ve never heard from him since. You walked around the campus since it was again your free period. Though you wouldn’t say you weren’t that busy. You had a lot of things to do at the Yoon Manor- which was to look after the incapable Jeonghan himself, you guys made up since that pool incident.

Making your way to the Rose Garden, you felt a unfamiliar presence. Someone was in here with you, but it wasn’t Jeonghan. Was it Jang Doyoon? You didn’t know, so you kept your guard out.

“Hi there pretty lady. But not as beautiful as me.”

You jumped a little and turned around to see a young lady, around your age. She wore a white peplum dress that contrasted her black hair. She was pretty and had a good figure. You smiled awkwardly enough for her to not notice.

“Hello there, I’m-” you said.

However, it seemed like she could read through you.

“Y/F/N! I know who you are! The top female student here at Seungcheon University! You don’t have to be so awkward.” she greeted with a huge smile plastered on her face. “I’m Kang Ji-ae, a 2nd year. I just came back from the hospital due to an injury.”

“Nice to meet you, Kang Ji-ae. I hope you’re recovering well.” you bowed with a returned smile. “I don’t mean to be rude but the Rose Garden is only for the top male and female students to use.”

Ji-ae’s smile turned into a pout. “Oh.. I didn’t know that. The Rose Garden looked so pretty that I thought anyone could go in.” she smiled again, “Anyway, I’ll take my leave now. See you around, Y/N.”

You tilted your head in a confused, yet awkward look when she left the garden. “It’s stated clearly on the plaque by the gate. Anyone could see it.” you told yourself.

Marching to the cafeteria, you spotted Sejeong packing her sports bag. She had an athletic tournament coming up and was practising hard for it. You smiled when you approached her.

“Sejeong! Let’s have lunch?”

“Oh hey Y/N!” she looked up, “I’d love to but I already had lunch, I’ll be at the track ground for the whole day today. I’m sorry.”

You gave her an understanding smile, “It’s no problem, I’ll head to the Bookshelf after. Good luck on practice!”

After lunch, you made your way to the Bookshelf, you spotted Jeonghan at a corner and as usual, whenever he’s around at the Bookshelf, girls would peek on him and giggle and not actually study. Some guys were angered to Jeonghan for being around, thinking that he didn’t care about the violent battle he had with Jang Doyoon.

You called him out to talk about matters from the YDH-Tech, not noticing on the fact that some students talked about you as you were speaking with Jeonghan, you two were the top students after all, so they guessed that it was normal.

At the same time, Ji-ae was close by and was planning on studying for her science quiz. However she was distracted, seeing you talking to Jeonghan and a smile was seen on both of your faces. Irritation slightly seen on her face as she had never seen Jeonghan smile like that before, and when Jeonghan took his leave and you stayed for another hour, and waited until everyone left.

You were busy reading literature that you forgot to tell the time. When it came to reading, you were like in another world.  The librarian left five minutes before you and reminded you to turn everything off before you leave. You immediately stood up to return the books when you dropped a few. A hand offered you help. You looked up to see Ji-ae.

“Thank you Ji-ae. I didn’t know you were here.” you said with a chuckle.

“Ah it’s no problem,” she stood up, “I’ll help you with these.” she smiled as she walked ahead.

Silence filled the quiet library and similarly from earlier at the Rose Garden, it was awkward. Footsteps tapped on the floor while the creaks of the night lamp you were holding swayed back and forth, creating dancing lights.

“We can leave the books right here, they’re under the same author anyway.” you chuckled as you reached for a small stool and Ji-ae handed you the books she had carried. You hopped off the stool and dusted your square pants. “Shall we take our le-”

Ji-ae slammed her hand on the shelf, an inch away from your right ear. Several books fell with the strength she put on. For a lady who had a face of a doll and skin like porcelain, what a strength she had. Her bangs hung in front of her face, her eyes stared at you with hatred, completely opposite than this morning.

“I’m gonna make this quick, Y/N. Stay away from Jeonghan.”

Your eyes widened, yet you knew something was fishy in her. “What do you mean?”

“Oh you know what I mean. You say you were to discuss YDH-Tech related stuff at his Manor that’s why you go with him after school every day, but no, no, no. You actually live with him, and the school doesn’t know a thing.”

“Mr. Lim knows, and the YDH-Tech related statement you just made is indeed true.” you answered back. “What point are you trying to make?”

Ji-ae gave you a smirk, “The point I’m trying to make is- given with the flustered approach and smile you gave Jeonghan earlier, that you’re in love with him.”

You pursed your lips, she got you. No doubt, staying at the Yoon Manor and knowing Jeonghan did get you to fall in love with him. You scanned her briefly. So she was watching you, that explained that heavy aura today when you and Jeonghan were talking.

“And what if I am?”

“Then he didn’t tell you, huh.” she clicked her tongue, “Well that’s expected.”

“Tell me what?”

“That I’m his fiancé.”

-------

Jeonghan reached the West Wing after having a short meeting with you in the Bookshelf. He had his earphones on but there weren’t any music playing, none of the genres caught his mood as we speak. He still decided to keep them on. He heard footsteps following him and even his name.

“Is that Yoon Jeonghan?” one of the young men spoke.

“So he still lives here, huh. He doesn’t even need to come to here if he just skips all the time. He could just sleep in with Y/N.” the other spoke.

“Smartest kids but dumb in bed.” the two laughed.

How did they know? It was all company-related. Jeonghan thought.

Jeonghan turned around after he entered the lift. “Yeah maybe I shouldn’t come back. But I had to since you two seemed to enjoy my dorm room, stealing a few stuff, too.” showing a photo he had in his phone of the two boys.

The two boys were taken aback. “You were eavesdropping on our conversation, how dare-”

“And the conversation happens to be about me, of course I can’t just miss it. I just love the attention.” he said in his usual sarcastic tone before holding the two boys by their necks. “Now I don’t know how you two barged into my room and I won’t even look for the things you stole. But if you dare talk something bad about Y/N and I that you don’t know the full story and spread it, consider these necks broken.”

“Sorry president! We’ll keep our mouths shut!”

“Good. You both are dismissed.”

Jeonghan watched the boys hurriedly leave the lift, and chuckled to himself. 

“Me and Y/N in bed? Ha, I can’t even confess to her.” he whispered to himself.

He opened the door to his room and sensed something was wrong. For the first time in four years, he had felt this presence. Something he hated the most.

“Hello, my son.” a voice called out. A faint shiver ran through his spine as he saw someone seated on his desk armchair turn around. “I see you’ve grown into a handsome young man.”

Jeonghan stared furiously at the owner of this voice. 

“Stepmother..”

#jeonghan #seventeen jeonghan #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan scenario #jeonghan scenarios #jeonghan imagines #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan romance #jeonghan au #jeonghan fanfic #jeonghan series #seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #seventeen stories #seventeen au #seventeen imagines #jeonghan!classmate #elite!jeonghan #kpop stories #seventeen fanfic #seventeen ff #jeonghan ff #jeonghan seventeen #beastly beautiful!jeonghan #beastly beautiful ch.5

[ignis-scientia-estrogen-brigade]

Headcanons for Iggy and his gf attending a super-formal royal ball, extra bonus if they're attending for the first time as a couple? :) Thanks!

[ISEB Author’s Note: This fic A) got way longer than I had originally anticipated, and B) kinda sorta took on a life of it’s own. My apologies to the Anon who requested it; I’m not sure if it’s exactly what you were looking for, but it seemed to me like it would be a little out-of-character for Ignis to be open about his personal life, so I took some artistic liberties (and even somehow managed to reference one of my own past headcanons!) as the story unfolded.]

Some duties in service to the crown are more… palatable to Ignis Scientia than others; he’d take six hours being wailed on by Gladio in the fitness center over the pomp and circumstance of yet another ambassadorial ball the Citadel seems to throw every other week. In this particular instance, however, the chastising he expects to receive may as well be one and the same.

Because it’s not the what that has Ignis fiddling with his cufflinks and cleaning his glasses for the fifth time out of nervous habit, but the who. It’s expected of the Crownsguard to be seen in attendance with a companion at these ridiculous spectacles, as befits the men and women of royal rank; like Ignis, the woman who accepted his formal invitation is among the king’s inner circle—as lethal with a lance as she is with her wit—and, like Ignis, she is no stranger to these types of diplomatic events.

She is redheaded, beautiful, and the subject of much wanton attention within the palace grounds. To an outsider, she is seemingly defined by her complete and utter devotion to her work; more than one man has had their advances spurned by her in favor of dedicating her time solely to her duties—including one Gladiolus Amicitia, despite his dogged determination to see what lies beneath her royal raiments.

Some whisper that she is married to her work, and that she chooses to pleasure herself with her beloved lance rather than the hot shaft of a man’s sword. But what others don’t know—including one Gladiolus Amicitia—is that she has warmed Ignis Scientia’s bed every night for the past six weeks, rendezvousing with him in secret at his apartment outside the Citadel’s walls in the early hours of twilight.

So the complication therein lies with the eyebrows they inevitably raise when the two finally enter the Citadel’s most illustrious ball room arm in arm; little irks Ignis more than calling attention to himself, and judging by the muted gasps and expressions of shock they are leaving behind in their wake, this little debut—for want of a better word—is beginning to turn into the procession heard ‘round the world.

But diplomats are nothing if not diplomatic, and the eyes trained on them eventually abate as they make their way before Prince Noctis and the king. Customary formalities are dispensed; Regis compliments the lady with his usual charm and a promise of the first dance, while Ignis cringes internally at the look of confusion currently crossing his princely friend’s bewildered features, until they are finally free to abscond to the far, less populated side of the great hall away from prying eyes.

“Ignis,” she says in a low voice, for his ears only. “The crowds have me feeling rather stuffy at the moment, so I was going to take a short walk. Would you like me to fetch you a drink?”

He relaxes a fraction—she is far too shrewd to call him Darling within fifty yards of the palace walls—and nods. “I could go for an Ebony about now.”

“Of course you could,” she replies wryly, and Ignis allows himself exactly thirty seconds to indulge in the fantasy of relieving her of her green silk gown—the one that matches her eyes—as he watches her disappear into the crowd.

But his mind only makes it fifteen seconds through his immoral scheming before his thoughts are interrupted by a thumping on his back. “How much did that cost you?” a teasing voice from behind him asks.

Ignis turns to face his brother-in-arms. “I beg your pardon?”

Gladiolus’ grin doesn’t quite meet his eyes, and Ignis can hear the inkling of envy in the big man’s tone. “You saying you didn’t have to bribe the Draconian just to get her to throw you a bone?”

Ignis stares blankly at his friend-turned-apparent-rival for the evening and sniffs irritably. “I asked. She accepted. Maybe if you spent more time looking into her eyes instead of down her tunic…”

“Or maybe,” Gladio chides jovially, “she just ain’t that worried about you trying anything on her. Every girl has one of those friends, right?”

Ignis resists the urge to roll his eyes; the rumors of his ambiguous sexuality—or whether he even has one to begin with—had made themselves known to him many years prior, and he’d been mostly content to keep people guessing.

Mostly. “Right.”

The aroma of richly brewed coffee is suddenly swirling in his nostrils; a glance over both of their shoulders reveals a parting in the crowd and a lithe body clad in emerald silk walking toward them. “Your Ebony,” the redhead purrs when she reaches the two Crownsguard.

“Thank you,” Ignis says, only barely managing to stop himself from tacking on the usual My Dear. Gladio offers an overly-exuberant smile to the woman as she passes Ignis his beverage, then takes her delicate fingers in one hand and presses them to his lips.

“You look ravishing as always,” the big man quips.

“You’re too kind,” she replies, and only someone with the mind of a strategist would be able to pick up on the satire that laces her voice.

“Ignis and I were just discussing the challenges a beautiful woman like yourself must face at these overblown chocobo festivals.” Gladio tosses his head casually back toward his friend and offers the redhead a wink. “If this guy’s coffee breath is too hot on your neck, I’ll be happy to take him off your hands for you.”

Ever the consummate professional, her tranquil facade remains supremely intact. “If Ignis oversteps his boundaries, I should like to teach him a lesson myself.”

Ignis very nearly snorts his Ebony onto his dress shirt. “Indeed.”

“Then perhaps I could offer my services as a dance partner instead?” Gladio thumps his friend again on the back, a little more forcefully this time. “Iggy’s always been good at sharing.”

The redhead’s green orbs widen at Ignis, and a hint of humor touches her lips. “Iggy?”

This time, the strategist does roll his eyes. “An old term of endearment from our youth,” he explains. “It appears some of us haven’t matured beyond the mental age of ten just yet.”

Gladio laughs heartily, deflecting the eyeful of daggers Ignis is directing toward him with an elbow to Ignis’ rib. He then takes two steps toward the center of the ball room and holds out a hand to the lady in green. “Will you do me the honor?”

“Would that I could,” she says with exaggerated modesty, “but you’ll have to play second fiddle to the king this evening. Regis has already asked me for the first dance.”

As if on cue, the melody of a Tenebraen waltz fills the high ceilings of the ballroom; the redhead smiles politely at Gladio, then pivots away without batting so much as a single eyelash at Ignis.

It is a previously-agreed upon arrangement; the details of their involvement with one another is strictly prohibited from reaching the ears of other parties. Stolen glances and intimate contact would only raise more eyebrows, and neither of them are willing to risk blemishing their credibility within the king’s innermost circle with superfluous displays of affection better saved for behind closed doors.

Still, Ignis suppresses a long-suffering sigh; the price for such painstaking secrecy is steep, and in the deepest recesses of his mind he wonders how differently things might have turned out for him had he not been recruited for such a rigid and solitary lifestyle. His heart chafes against the shackles of his self-imposed restraint, and for the briefest of instants he feels the icy tendrils of bitterness clawing their way up his throat.

Gladio, his pride evidently none the worse for wear, ogles at the sight of the redhead’s tight figure gloved in even tighter silk. “It’s a good thing Prompto wasn’t invited tonight,” he says with a laugh, “because that kid has no filter, and you know he’d say what every man in this room is thinking.”

Ignis swallows the last of his antipathy, his fingers gripped tightly around his cup and his gaze glued to the flash of red and green twirling in the arms of the king. “A small mercy.”

Gladio shakes his head woefully and clutches at his chest, feigning an aching heart. “I’d lay my sword at Gilgamesh’s feet to take her home with me just once. I bet she’s got an amazing rack under those royal raiments of hers.”

Ignis suddenly tears his eyes away from the dance floor and glares at his friend in silent fury; it’s rather unlike the strategist to get testy over lewd remarks, or indulge in such primal instincts as petty jealousy. And besides—he has a reputation to uphold, and a secret to keep.

But Ignis is a human at his core, not the soulless magitek soldier some within the palace have insinuated. And in spite of the promises he has made to the woman who warms his bed at night, in spite of the necessity to conduct his personal activities with the utmost discretion, in spite of everything that has led Ignis Scientia to be put in this Astral-forsaken position, there are certain times in a man’s life that rules are required to be broken.

He narrows his spectacled eyes at Gladiolus and lifts his Ebony to his lips. “She does,” he says simply.

#final fantasy xv #ignis scientia #gladiolus amicitia #ffxv fanfiction #ffxv headcanons #ffxv imagines #ignis stupeo scientia #ignis #gladio #gladiolus #ffxv #ff15

[arriyire]

Learn to Fly - A Fairy Tail Fic Ch. 11

Summary: The world is split into two realms - the mortal and the spirit. In this world, demons attack humans and the winged protect them. When Levy gets shoved headfirst into the spirit realm, she will have to adjust her whole way of living and learn to deal with a moody dragon winged Gajeel. AU vaguely based on the manga plot.

Rated: T

Chapter 11

This was becoming too regular an occurrence. Her head pounded, her body ached, lethargy clinged to her mind like a bad taste in your mouth. Seriously how many times in the last two days had she woken feeling like death itself? Speaking of which…

She would say it all came rushing back, except it came it came in broken fragments, like a puzzle waiting to be put together. Except with her head swimming in a pool of incomprehensibility, solving such a puzzle was the last thing she wanted to do. No, today all she wanted was to sleep the day away. However the fragments spoke loudly; not wanting to be ignored, they spoke of flying, of being attacked, running and running still. She was going to die, she remembered; there was a man standing over her and then Gajeel… Gajeel had saved her! She focused forcing the memory forward, yes; he had come to her rescue at the last second! Then they had escaped, Gajeel flew them through the air away from the demons…

Her memories faded there as her headache became too much to handle. Wearily she opened her eyes, the light might as have been lava at that time for the way it stung her pupils. Blinking the moisture back into her eyes the scene before her became clearer, she was in a bed in a room she didn’t recognise. Yep, this was definitely getting old. Looking around, it was clear it wasn’t her local hospital; the walls were cobblestone and wooden beams stretched across the ceiling. Under better circumstances she would have admired the architecture a bit more – as it stood Levy become more and more worried about the predicament she was in. The only solace lay in a black exceed sat in a nearby chair, slightly slumped as he snoozed. Lilly being here must mean she was safe. She was right they had escaped.

Smiling to herself she moved forward to nudge her fierce guardian awake, has she leant forward though an uncanny weight pressed against her back. Startled Levy flung herself forward, afraid of an attack from behind, but the weight followed her glued to her back following her movements as if part of her body. Now completely out of bed and standing surprisingly sturdy for how she had felt mere moment before, Levy realised just what the weight was. From the corner of her eyes she saw the corners of paper coated in words, words she recognised from one of her many books. She followed the trail of letters to see them overlapping with other pages from other books; a page from her favourite chapter of her dearest fairy tale, the paragraph of a poem she held close, the famous lines her beloved characters spoke when they had won the fight and saved the damsel. All of them present in a collage of her reading life that reached behind her shoulders and connected to her back. The feeling was both unreal and completely natural as she read along her new wingspan she found she could move the wings to bring the pages into view, no easier that bending her arm or flexing her toes. It was a marvel to say the least, the fogginess of her brain cleared as she lost herself in memories of the past with the stories that defined her very nature.

It was about the time that she was trying to read the pages hidden behind her shoulder did it dawn on her that she had wings. Wings! Levy turned this way and that, only confirming that they were in fact wings. Wings! On her back! What was curiosity and wonder soon became unreasonable panic, and just like another sane person in her situation all Levy could think to do was, well, scream.

The noise echoed throughout the guildhall, the two resident dragons winced at the vibrations in their sensitive ears while others glanced curiously towards their infirmary where an ever keen Mira quickly flew to. As she entered the room she witnessed Lilly trying desperately to calm down the young woman Gajeel had carefully dumped here days prior. She said dumped as he literally flew through the infirmary window, tucked her in before telling Mira to ‘take care of the shrimp’, grabbing a job and taking off again. ‘The shrimp’ was currently in hysterics, slumped on the ground talking to herself about ‘waking up’ and it ‘all being a just dream’. Lilly had coaxed her back onto the bed just as Mira grabbed a glass of water and placed it in the woman’s hands.

Slowly Levy drained the water in the cup, all while holding onto the glass like it was her lifesaver in the vast ocean. If she had wings, then that meant… The conversation through her flat window played through her mind. You got wings when you died. She died. She was dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. The word repeated again and again until it had no meaning, it was just a sound, a movement of her tongue and a vibration in her throat. It didn’t stop the sting though, the thought of her life being over. All those things she wanted to do! Things she never saw. Books she never read. People she never spoke to. Levy never considered her life to be filled with regret but now it was over, the things she regretted doing/not doing was all she could think about. She was fortunate that her family had long since passed; orphaned when she was young she had been taken in by her grandmother who had passed a year ago. Least there was few people who would miss her – even so it was a weak comfort.

Mira and Lilly looked at each other nervously; this wasn’t uncommon for new winged. It sometimes took years for them to come to terms with their deaths, some never truly got over it. Those winged tended to go mad, which led to darker paths towards life as a demon as they lashed out at others. Right now this girl needed support, a family – and nothing said family like Fairy Tail. Mira put a comforting hand on the woman’s knee as she knelt in front of her. “My name is Mira-Jane; it’s a pleasure to meet you.”  A soft smile welcomed Levy back to reality, to her beating heart and her breathing lungs. Swallowing hard, her throat still dry despite the water she had just had Levy found her voice to reply.

“I’m Levy McGarden.” The reply was unsure, like she didn’t know who she was anymore. She was trying to piece together how she had died; she remembered escaping with Gajeel and then when he was pulled from the sky. Magnets; she remembered Gajeel fighting a demon who used magnet magic to pull him around. The memory fogged there again, Levy tried to hold onto the thought by speaking to Lilly. “There was a demon; he used magnet magic to fight Gajeel.” Saying the words out loud kept the memory in place while she fought to remember what happened next.

Lilly looked at the blue-haired woman worriedly, he knew what she was trying to do and he didn’t know how she might react when she found the answers she looked for. Furthermore he didn’t know how the guild might react if they found out what had happened. Nervously glancing at Mira who was understanding enough, she would probably give Gajeel a chance to defend himself before tearing him limb from limb. The same could be said for Natsu and Wendy; the three were dragon slayers and had some kind of sibling understanding about them; the kind that would result in a fistfight between the men as Wendy stood by to heal the injuries. As for everyone else though; trust was thin as is, this just served to be another noose from which they could hang the iron dragon slayer.

“Lilly, I died… Gajeel was there.” Levy spoke again. “It was an accident, he told me to run… I didn’t. H-He tried to save me again.” Levy was sobbing now, words spilled from her mouth but through the gasps and coughs they couldn’t understand what she said.

Mira did what her elder sister instincts told her too, taking the young woman in her arms she stroked her head, softly shushing her cries and reminding her that it was all okay. Lilly watched on as Mira gave into her element, caring and comforting with unrelenting protectiveness that rivalled the dragons of the guild. The perfect woman for the job. Levy gradually calmed down and pulled away from Mira who let her do so but stayed close offering reassurance still, rubbing her eyes red with the heel of her palm Levy looked at Lilly. The two softly smiled at each other, and Lilly said the only thing he could.

“I’m sorry, we failed you.” He bowed his head low, he didn’t ask for forgiveness. Gajeel had sworn before he left that he didn’t deserve such kindness and Lilly held his fate with his partners. They were both to blame for the woman before him, they had promised to protect and failed. Back in Edolas such incompetence lead to banishment. Instead small arms scooped him up and held him close, if they were in public he might have protested but here in the quite comfort of the infirmary he allowed it; graciously accepting the kindness he had been shown.

No words were exchanged for several minutes; the wounds were too raw to speak about yet. The silence offered Levy the chance to come to terms with her new arrangements, sadly this only came with more questions than answers. Before Levy could ask about what was to happen next, a busty blonde girl entered the room. “Mira? People are wonderin- Oh!” Lucy stopped at the sight of Levy, sat in the protective space of Mira and Lilly. Sensing the woman was still in need of comfort; Lucy moved to join the group, extending a hand to Levy she gently shook with her. “I’m Lucy, welcome to Fairy Tail!” Just like the stars on her wings, Lucy brightened the darkest night, bringing light to situation and making Levy feeling just a tad more at ease.

“Why don’t we get you down stairs, and get you something to eat?” Mira added, looking to Lucy asking silently if she would help ease Levy into the controlled chaos below.

Understanding completely Lucy quickly jumped in to help ease the bluenette further. “Don’t worry we’ll look after you, you can ask us all the questions you want when you’ve got your strength back!”

With those words, the weakness in her body became apparent once again. Levy nodded in agreement flashing her bravest smile as she found her footing again. Walking slowly, the trio plus one Exceed made their way to the guild hall. Levy was taken aback from the sheer noise; the infirmary had been almost silent, here, what could only be a million conversations/arguments were existing all at once. It was quite intimidating truth be told, hadn’t it been for the two women escorting her Levy would of fled back to the infirmary without a second thought. As it stood however, she was seated at quiet table in the corner with Lucy while Mira went behind the bar to deal with her myriad of customers who knew better than to complain about her absence.

Across the room two men stood in awe, eyes only for what could only be described as an angel who walked into the guild hall and was now seated at the far end of the room. A pair of bird-like wings (falcon-like for the keen eyed) had taken off before their owner was even aware he was moving; in less than a second he was at the table of the angel with his mouth agape. Lucy looked at Jet confused as to his sudden arrival, and doubled in confusion as Droy rolled up behind him. While Jet had bird wings, Droy had wings that appeared to be two giant leaves sprouting form his back draped in thick vines. The two truly looked like that belonged in a nature special. Surprisingly Levy spoke first of the group.

“Um, Hi.” Unsure what to do in the situation and why two guys had basically run over to gawk at them; she had suspected they were here because of Lucy (the girl was drop-dead gorgeous for heaven’s sake) but when they had only stared at her, her suspicions grew. Suddenly aware of how rude they were being the men slapped themselves out their stupor.

“Hi there, I’m Jet!” A cheesy grin accompanied the ginger man as he thumb-pointed to himself

Not to be outdone the second man quickly jumped in. “And I’m Droy!” A brief look of annoyance wasn’t lost on Levy as she became confused by the two men further.

“We are team Shadow speed!”

“No team plant gear!” Droy quickly interrupted

Lucy and Levy watched as the two men continued to bicker about their team name. Lucy was used to the interaction, the two may be best friends but they fought like an old married couple and hardly ever agreed. Said couple were now locking heads and pushing against one another arguing about what their team name was. While Lucy looked exasperated with the debate Levy looked at the boys fondly, clearly the two cared for each other like brothers, it’s no wonder they fought like this.

“Why don’t you compromise and be called Shadow Gear?” Levy offered in a chipper tone, her smile had the two boys dumbstruck once again, before erupting into two praising cheerleaders

“Levy that’s amazing!”

“You’re so smart Levy!”

The continuous babble came from the two boys as Levy giggled to herself at how easy the fight was to solve.

“You should lead our team!” To this day Levy still wasn’t sure which one suggested it first (ask either one and they will claim it was them), but both were so eager to invite her into their group she found it hard to say no. Despite the fact that she had absolutely no idea what this ‘team’ did!

Fortunately Lucy stepped back in to save Levy from her adoring fans; “Back up guys, she only just got here!” watching as the excitement visibly drop in their faces Levy offered another smile promising she would ‘think about it when she was settled’. Waving cheerily as they moved on, Lucy noted how the bluenette had visibly relaxed after meeting Jet and Droy ad was now tucking into pancakes courtesy of Mira.

Sitting in comfortable silence as she ate; Levy continued to think about, well, everything. Here she was breathing, eating, living when by all rights she should be in the ground – depressing herself she sunk into the seat. The motion wasn’t lost on Lucy who tried to distract her form the darkening mood.

“Do you read?” The three words which were a bookworms dream in any social situation; Levy almost jumped out of her seat with anticipation to talk about her favourite stories but forced herself to rein it in – she had scared plenty of people with her literature enthusiasm.

“Yes, I love to read! I had a huge collection back home!” At the word home, Levy felt a slight pang of despair. All of her books, gone. She almost cried at the thought, it was a lifetime’s worth of collecting, so many rare and treasured books – Levy hoped they would be cared for now she was gone.

Lucy panicked again watching Levy’s moods oscillate violently over the subject and tried again to coax her out of her homesick thoughts. “Would you like to see the guild’s library?” Without waiting for an answer, Lucy stood up and encouraged her new friend to do the same. Together they entered an upstairs room which contained bookshelves as far as the eye can see – each one packed with a collection of tomes varying in size and colour. The excitement in Levy’s eyes was barely contained by her brown irises as she took tentative steps closer to the books. Her outstretched hand fingered the binders grazing over each letter which clued her to the contents within.

So lost in her exploration she didn’t notice the fond look Lucy gave her, nor how the blonde followed behind her. “I think this book might be useful for you – it’s a history of this world” In her outstretched hands she held the book Lucy and Natsu recovered from the old building basement. Levy slowly took it again studying the cover, this would definitely be useful, and hopefully by understanding this world she would feel more comfortable.

“Thank you!” Levy couldn’t contain it anymore; she launched her arms round the blonde hugging her tightly.

Lucy could only laugh in response “Your one of us now! We all look after each other.” Her soft smile gave the bluenette the reassurance that she was going to be just fine here.

Full fic here - I own nothing except a vague plot, feel free to review/ask/be inspired and share with me anything you find :)

#Chapter 11 #fairy tail #Gajeel Redfox #Levy McGarden #Learn to Fly #gajevy #winged!au #arryire #gale

[skullssales]

*HUGE* Halloween Home Decor Haul Avelina De Moray

Hi there every body! Welcome to my channel .Glad October, the month of Halloween it is coming near I inspiration i’d better get my act collectively and in reality film my halloween haul n the month of Hallowee,n so it is on before …..Halloween in view that final 12 months I received my blood tutorial on a few days late….My unhealthy!!!! For those who guys have kids you realize why shit is perpetually late okay so as you recognize I used to be in LA not too long ago for 2 weeks and as an Australian living in a country that does not relatively have fun Halloween they’re opening to slowly embrace it but via include it I imply having one small little Halloween section in an complete storm so type of a letdown I used to be so excited to find out that I used to be visiting to LA across the Halloween season in view that all of the shops went nuts and i am so excited to show you what I purchased i’m gonna with one of the crucial serious decor considering there are just a few strange items in right here you understand you know what i am talking about when you comply with me on Instagram I put up reports like this about 50 reports a day so when you followed me while I was in LA you can comprehend what my husband bought anyway let’s get started with whatever serious the very first thing I need to exhibit you this is wonderful the scale of this I noticed it and that i fell in love i am like i need this on my wall no longer necessarily exactly Halloween themed however Gothic however and that i must have it it can be simply lovely so this was once from i will inform you because i do know this was from Halloween time Burbank l. A. And that i purchased a number of quite cool matters from this retailer and that is a Halloween headquartered retailer that’s open all yr circular which i suppose is rather cool we just do not have the Halloween tradition here where a store could preserve itself and be open all year circular the following is this beautiful lovely little signs crisis thingy I’ve received a lot of science i need sit luckily a excellent a big apartment however I have got to figure out where they’re going so this simply stood out to me the colours that we just had the completely happy Halloween I think it’s relatively lovable have no idea the place i will put yeah but that was once first-rate continuing with the theme of science i’ve this sign right here as quickly as I saw it i am like yeah which parking best violators will have a spell cast on them that’s pretty cool and this i will be able to tell you seeing that I don’t forget was once from Michelson yet another signal this used to be one one selected feeling lucky psychic predict the longer term knowing the prior so he bought this for the recording studio that we’re engaged on and the article that I hold noticing with the entire signs which have seen is that they’re very professional like they are not simply squares like in Australia they’ll simply do squares or rectangles where right here they they cut shapes out they usually they put the little witches broom on high there’s simply the awareness to element is impeccable so that is simply solid timber yet another lovely addition to our ever-developing facet collection ok now I want to exhibit you the 2 ridiculous things that one became out now not so ridiculous I sincerely ended up liking and it goes really good with a different object that I purchased however his first ridiculous thing and again i don’t really you ready for it large toad I mean the one factor that makes this Halloweeny is that it was once located within the Halloween section in one of the crucial outlets and it can be style of creepy but apart from that i am like why why and the children hate it that is terrified of it so yeah that is the first creepy factor that fun however the subsequent factor I can not throw considering that i’ll break it is it was Frankenstein it was once just white plaster they had different huge tremendous plaster heads and so they’re simply white yeah Mon sprayed that silver chorim nevertheless it honestly works rather well subsequent to the next thing that i’ll exhibit you which ones was a lantern I forgot to turn my mobilephone on silent whoops this has the label on it this was once from Ross Ross’s I consider it is simply Ross the identify Ross I fell in love with this I ought to perform a little shout out to jewel cher i am hoping i’m pronouncing her Instagram name thoroughly she’s a lovely mother she just had a new little one i really like following her style anyway i assume it can be her and said howdy you might have just bought she’s received graphics of decor every single day like regularly shopping i will be able to relate to that i’m like woman the place do I need to go inform me and she despatched me to all these stores so really this Halloween haul do not have kind of occurred without her so huge thanks it is right here how lovely is it adore it’s stable metallic once more if this used to be in Australia that may simply be plastic and it’s received a little bit yeah a little bit again section there so that you could pop to you like chocolates in I did are trying that beanie difficulty i have with that is motive this steel it can be most likely a conductor so it it really heats up so i’m gonna put it faraway from the children faraway from some thing that might trap hearth i am particularly clumsy wish it like that so these two together can i remind you we were touring america k so Australians you could have a suitcase restrict of 23 kilos this guy is with ease four or 5 kilos and this isn’t heavy that is like due to the fact it’s hole it but it surely’s huge and you couldn’t put something inside it so we left Sydney with one suitcase one had new smaller suitcase packed inside of my suitcase however we came we came residence with six we got here dwelling with six suitcases for have been on the brink of being oversized so full particularly huge suitcases after which two of the largest hand luggages in all probability placed on the aircraft with out you recognize moving into challenge okay carrying on with on how cool is that this also from Michaels which and noted hell yeah I simply saw that and that i thought that is going to make me appear so much cooler after I believe my youtube movies and i really like that the straw is difficult and it can be like Charlie Halloween themed like an orange stripes I simply saw that it can be actual good best it used to be pendulous rather having fun with that i’m gonna keep that right there so i can stay hydrated let’s proceed along with the consuming utensils oh okay i am again next up also from Michaels was this lovely purple you could you see that that’s a cranium within hopefully that’s being picked up by means of the camera however I just love that and i really like matters which are red and it goes by means of all of my nails which are bloody k next on the cups this was once $5 I are not able to bear in mind where this just but i’m virtually I feel it would even be Michaels I simply loved the two-toned glass to style of teal blue and fading to rain again it’s no longer displaying up loopy world yeah i will show it to you on a white heritage higher tremendous cute ok subsequent up on this epic Halloween haul are these beautiful cranium candelabras I acquired to cuz i love symmetry and i frequently buy two of the whole thing always it’s a bit of a main issue I might need help these obtained smashed to pieces on the best way right here i attempted my great to p.C. The entire breakables within clothing and blankets that I get the SI blanket um you will see that that’s absolutely fucked however bun did a quite excellent job of tremendous gluing it back collectively there is just a few matters that we bought that used to be tremendous fragile that like simply obtained smashed to smithereens I suppose it was once simply in one suitcase and i utterly blame the men and women from United airlines in view that there was once a bit ticket saying they searched our bag so all the broken things have been isolated to that one case now not completely satisfied United airlines additionally we didn’t lock the bag it used to be one of the vital baggage we purchased on the last day actually the day that we left and we did not have time to installed the I mean it only takes a 2nd let’s rephrase we could not be afflicted developing the little pet code with the numbers however after we received it again it was once locked and wager what they set the code to established on what used to be inside this suitcase i assume six-six-six and also you have to be questioning good how were you aware what the code I swear bond is like he knows how to do so so much stuff it is ridiculous like in another lifestyles he have to had been like an archaeologist that you know places together bones from tiny fragments on account that he is really excellent at this ship and the children are forever breaking matters but yeah he did that factor that they continually do in like Ocean’s Twelve but I listened to the safe something he hears the clicking like dude you are crazy anyway he heard it and it lined as much as 666 a greater story for you now for those who’ve seen my house you understand I have already got various candelabra so I really didn’t need to any extent further and this one this story behind it’s bittersweet seeing that it is not precisely the person who I wanted so this was once from a store known as Marshalls which I didn’t be aware of at the time however is apparently like a really huge reduction retailer where various they buy stuff from different outlets that do not sell in order that they’re only one offs if I had have known that i will put a photograph of the candelabra see that one significant it’s rather massive it was simplest $30 I did not like I idea it was some thing they’d have in inventory all the time so I did not buy it i am like i will simply come back that was long gone so alternatively I received this little teeny tiny variation but it surely’s still lovely I love it it used to be also Burke on some of the fingers you’ll discover right here is it way more commonly back together however you know if I did not let you know that you just would not understand that and just do not buy a ridiculous amount of Halloween shit while you journey internationally you’ll be best ok the following item was once from Russ I relatively enjoyed their decision of apartment to cool they had plenty of small print on the blanket that I bought was from there I really should have accomplished this whole postal errand you can figure it out that’s best so this is only a beautiful reflect I notion for certain this was once gonna get smashed fingerprints all over it so it’s simply very antiquey watching and it had a skull attached to the entrance of the reflect which style of makes Sameera itself really impractical but I simply liked it as a section of audit publication yeah i’ll find somewhere to have that each one proper the subsequent object I want to share with you is this little skeleton coffin if you happen to’ve watched the video that I placed on good it is today but it is not going to be by the point this video goes on the Halloween shopping video part one at Michael’s you are going to see me get fairly excited over this I consider i will movie a bit video of how these guys look at night for the reason that they’re so exclusive you know you do not get the atmosphere at all for the period of the day and i am all about atmosphere all myths so that is just a bit skeleton dude and that i i might say perspex i’m not going to assert that’s glass either method I did suppose that was once going to break but it failed to and the LED candle inside has a high-quality little go giving it a individuals realism Oh cup of tea times one cup of tea who smash he knows once I’m filming any wreck hmm watch me feel high priced lounge k this subsequent thing used to be additionally from Ross they’d a lot cool stuff if you’re in america and there’s a row retailer close you I incredibly advocate going so the sign was 399 once more so very respectable poison consumed at your possess threat one at the start hung this above our kitchen it’s kind of of a comic story because I burn everything it’s simply cool it spoke to me matters communicate to me i buy them i assume about anything quite jewellery shoes clothing nail components the subsequent object we wish to exhibit you at present is that this crimson bats heart bottle 100% glass 100% pure i love that voice I should do the whole video such as you love it okay yes this one here additionally on hand in inexperienced worry loss of life and magic pre-made character mixtures so these had been from Russ tremendous adorable so that one has a bit sparkly form of Raven going on and it’s bought a group of LEDs that seem like this strung on a copper wire so that they style of jingle about but you are not able to quite see on the grounds that the glass has this distressed look about it it this definitely looks higher for the duration of the day the only factor i do not like about this is when you know you know what ambience and the lights are off this sticky label is transparent so you can’t read it anyway to not smile it is all bonds dancing for me excellent yes sir that’s scorching back pots a hundred% pure really lovable as good these have been sitting on my bookshelf on the moment which has turned extra right into a display just for cool-watching decor rather than housing books however four of the eight shelves do have it that is thanks the subsequent object is that this little cranium looking dude who hasn’t eyeball in the flower Rose this used to be wholly smashed to portions again for now repair that rather a lot for me and again I’ve just been sitting this on my bookshelf I just preferred it rather on the grounds that of the eye with a bit of luck you see it the eye inside the Rose so that was that was creepy and the children are really lovely they requested me about it hi there mom why does our eyes have now not fall thanks yeah i’m gonna smash the whole lot if it wasn’t damaged it is going to be soon next up and this is from Michaels you saw me in that Halloween looking hall get really enthusiastic about this pieces are nonetheless shedding off it as we converse magic potions charms and poisons akin to a stack of books however this is definitely porcelain porcelain ceramic whatever tremendously breakable plaster it came in white or bronze I put the bronze most likely so the ends all chipped up all the corners broke but it surely style of offers it some realism that it did not have earlier than i’m simply pleased it can be nonetheless in a single piece and the highest also it appears relatively exceptional k next up with these coffins I suppose for them to be displayed at full abilities they have got to be sprayed a specific colour so there have been in the craft section one thing along with your raw Frankenstein head which is now watching much better now that he sprayed it so i am definite this may be the identical I have no idea what colour but am i one of a kind Nadia hi there Nadia it sent me a funny picture where she had this kind of that she bought for like final Halloween and i used to be displaying on my Instagram stories how they remove darkness from and she or he used to be like god damn I had no inspiration there was once a change on the backside and then it lit up I simply purchased it because it was once a cool Kaufmann and it does open up so that you would take me please store things within it i’ll exhibit you what matters seem like at night time pleased Halloween I was once just rather impressed with the laser etching on that i really like my lights so I obtained that one I bought trick or treat with some bats on it they might even be cool to show jewellery and you recognize I might allow them to open and up like that i’ll test round with that boots out and the final one this how so much used to be this that is five dollars shutout so this one says trick-or-deal with and once more the artwork caught my attention optimistically you’re seeing how lovely that’s the spider the cat I relatively experience silhouette paintings i have never rather ever performed it myself i might wish to considering that this might have a screen printing fairly well you understand what you simply made God works out of watercolor I do not know what i am gonna do with it it does not have putting so i guess you just sit it on a table but i’m absolutely loving that subsequent up are these adorable indicators that we bought really for our kids one every for their door so it is a little complex to show so warning do not feed the zone peace steals consistently asking about zombies and vampires and monsters and skeletons and things like that he is surely in love with the movie sequence and wishes to cover just think he said to all good he’s four years ancient and this one says element vampire dangers are in a dusk unless dawn they may be simply thicker cardboard so you know they may be now not constituted of steel or anything but it was 99 cents so who gets blended up is this cute throw rug that I purchased I do not know I fairly I do not know if I bought it for myself or pull my it my expensive old son London he’s in love with me I think it possibly south used to be his orange one we have bought with bats on it that is his blankie this is so so so we try to get a just right shot of it it has beautiful spiderweb designs so this used to be $from Russ and the opposite aspect is the most softest fabric I’ve ever felt it simply makes me need to snuggle in bed and do without doubt nothing all day so i’m gonna put that away or else i will end up very unproductive however for $I used to be like god damn that is a cut price but you realize i am no longer very good at math what i have realized is that a lot of 1299 s add as much as fucking lot you

.fb_iframe_widget_fluid_desktop iframe { width: 100% !important; }

Tweet

Source: https://skullssales.com/

#tee shirts men #skull leggings #biker gear

[sudsybear]

I just got here

That toolbox was the best gift I ever received (well, Bart did give me a 2-speed reversible cordless drill for Christmas a couple of years later. That was pretty cool, too. But it wasn’t completely original.) That toolbox was the key for me to meet people when I was away at school. Hammer, pliers, wrenches, jewelers’ screwdrivers, with Ross’ inspiration, he and Dad prepared me well. There are times in the dorm when you need a hammer, or pliers, or an adjustable wrench. Thanks to Ross, I had them. I used his gift idea several times over the years. On my urging, my brother-in-law took one with him when he left for college. I gave one to my babysitter when she graduated high school. I even gave one to my sister-in-law as a wedding gift. That one was fun – I labeled everything – what a screwdriver is really used for, and creative ideas for bedroom bungee cord use.

 I’d like to say that’s what helped get me together with who would eventually be my husband. But in fact, Bart and I met because he needed a button sewn back on. (Well, he tells the button story. I maintain that the first time we met, we had a squirt gun fight that ended badly. He and his buddies gave up on the squirt guns and brought out the trash cans full of water. I was on the wrong end of gravity. I never knew how I met David or Ross, either.)  My mother was old-fashioned enough to send me off to school with a sewing kit. With sewing kit and toolbox, I was the woman to see if you needed to repair something. Had I been more entrepreneurial, I could have rented out the tools for $5/hour or some such. I could have sold quarters to make money. My roommate thought it quite amazing that I purchased quarters ($10 rolls) at the bank for the washing machines.

 I left for the UofR the 27th of August, a Tuesday. We packed up the Volvo on Monday, and early Tuesday morning Mom and Dad and I drove up I-71, across the Thruway, and delivered me to the dorm. We unpacked the car that afternoon. Dad helped carry my things up to the room, but wouldn’t stay to watch me unpack. “We’ll go back to the motel,” he said. I choked back tears and started unpacking. I was terrified and already homesick. I wanted Ross, I wanted my own bedroom – other than camp, which was some five years previous, I never shared a room with anyone who wasn’t family. I wanted everything familiar. Mom and Dad stopped by later and we got dinner together. They dropped me back off at the dorm, and stayed overnight in a motel. Once I was back in my room for the night, I called Ross from the dial phone in the hall, to let him know I was in and gave him my new phone number. I missed him already.

 Mom and Dad stopped by in the morning to say goodbye. They had to make the ten-hour drive back to Cincinnati. Mommer was still in the hospital, and they had plane tickets for a trip to see my brother Tom out in Oregon. I stood on the steps of the Student Union and watched my parents turn and walk back toward their car. It was a beautiful hot August day. The sun was bright in the sky, warmth radiated off the brick of the building, and the slight breeze was delightful relief. The sky was blindingly blue with white puffy clouds drifting over the tops of the campus buildings. I wanted to scream, “NO! DON’T GO! I’M NOT READY! TAKE ME HOME!” Instead I blinked back the tears, bit my lower lip, inhaled a deep breath through my nose, and, determined not to cry, turned and jerked open the glass door to the building and stepped inside. I needed to stand in line. I paused for a moment while my eyes adjusted from the bright outside to the dark interior. I discovered it was a short line, as the majority of the student body had not yet arrived. It was still freshman orientation week. I stood to have my photo taken and got my student ID which let me into my dorm, and got me my meals, and let me pay for junk food at the student run candy counter. Just like high school, but a ten-hour drive or a six-hour airplane adventure away from home and I didn’t know a soul.

 Over the next fifteen (twenty?) years, I revisited that moment again and again. I wondered, what if I had screamed, “NO!” and gone back home with Mom and Dad? What if I hadn’t stayed? What if I hadn’t been so damned determined to be brave? Would Ross and I have gotten married? Would we have lasted beyond Thanksgiving that year? Would we have had children? Would I have attended Ross’ funeral, and stood at his gravesite with his family and friends, many of whom I never had the opportunity to know?

 Instead, I live with the decisions I made, and the actions I took. I made new friends and I had fun. I lost my temper. I had my heart broken. I cried tears of loneliness, tears of grief, tears of fear. I got drunk. I made love. I broke more hearts. I learned to be alone. I made a life. I lost my balance more than once.

 *          *          *

 Our dorm was a ten story high rise, four six-person suites and two sets of double rooms per floor. I was on the sixth floor, “special interest” housing. The Inter-Class Living Center was decidedly not a freshman single-sex ghetto as so many of my friends from home were getting into. Instead, I lived on a co-ed floor, two male suites, two female suites, one set of male doubles, one set of female doubles. Thirty-two of us, sixteen freshmen, the rest were upperclassmen – sophomores to Seniors. It really was a great arrangement. Since the floor was co-ed and housed more experienced students, it never got too trashed, or rather when it did get trashed, people tended to clean up sooner than if it had been a true freshman ghetto. Also, because it was special-interest housing, we were required to have meetings once/month to plan and execute activities for our dorm and ourselves. That meant the floor residents really got to know each other pretty well.

 Roz and I roomed together during orientation. She and I hit it off, and decided to stick together for the year. We sought out Mike, the floor president, to confirm we weren’t committing some terrible crime against housing. He laughed at our concern, and gave his blessing. We switched our room assignments (swapped the name tags on the doors) and unpacked our gear. So much for all that worry over the summer about who my roommate would be. Vivyan (with the thick accent whose apartment was in the flight pattern of Kennedy airport) and Cindy attended earlier summer orientations and were in for a surprise when they arrived over the weekend.

 In our end-double with bunk beds, Roz liked the novelty of the top bunk. I really didn’t care. As a child I’d had my brothers’ old bunk beds and switched beds every few months. Sometimes the top bed, sometimes the lower bunk, sometimes I pulled them apart and used them as twins. After that decision, there we were, a short-haired mousy WASP brunette from the conservative Midwest, who billed herself as “the ultimate girl next door” in her housing application, sharing a room with a seemingly worldly Jewish blue-eyed blonde from Yonkers. I was suburban public high school, with Friday night football games and cheerleaders. She was East Coast private prep school with swim teams and water polo. What was I getting myself into?

 Orientation was Wednesday-Friday, and classes wouldn’t start until the following Wednesday, September 4th. I had orientation events to contend with…How to choose and register for classes, tours of campus, how to navigate the shuttle bus system, awkward getting-to-know-you social occasions. I already got my student ID, but still needed to rent a post office box, and I couldn’t miss a chaperoned bus tour of the local shopping district.

 One orientation activity was to take a busload of new students to the local “hip” shopping district, and send us on a scavenger hunt of sorts. They gave prizes for the best, or most unique, item purchased for under $5. The prize was $15 cash. I purchased a bunch of random things – a couple of bagels from a bagel shop, a few office supplies (pencils and the like) and once back at the dorms, decided to build, “The Bagel Bike.” I started in on the project, other folks wandered in to kibitz, and ultimately, that bagel bike won us money for pizza. I was “in”.

 Orientation was over and it was Labor Day weekend. My friends at home were heading downtown to River Fest for the holiday. I’d gone with them in years previous, and while the crowds terrified me, I enjoyed the camaraderie. I would miss it this year.

 Roz was inspired to personalize our room, and hoped to paint footprints on our dorm room walls. I said, “Sure, why not?” We found someone from the suite next door to take us out to the home improvement center to buy spray paint. Then back at the dorm, Roz traced her foot, we made a pattern, and together we got high on spray paint fumes while we painted primary color footprints on the walls and ceiling. Hadn’t I just done this? We even put a hopscotch board on the ceiling with black electrical tape, and glued a penny in the 8 square.

 Ross called in the middle of our painting session and I had to cut him short. “Roz and I are working on a project, can I call you later?” Oh that felt awkward. I missed him terribly, but caught up in the moment, I didn’t have time for him. This was going to be harder than we thought.

 “Yea, I guess. Glad you’re having fun.”

 A cheap plastic rolling Roman shade covered our windows. Dusty and gross it didn’t block out the morning sun nearly well enough (we were both late sleepers), and we wanted to cover it. But we still wanted the footprint pattern so as to have continuity. It was a problem to be solved.

 The suite adjacent to ours was called 6124’s. That was either the phone extension, or the official number of the suite in case of emergency, or both. It housed Mike, Rentz (aka Stephen Paul), J.G., Chris, Ken and Tony. Their common room was the “family room” of the floor. They had the bar, built in some year prior to my arrival, the television, and the open all night policy. It was the gathering place.

 Stephen Paul, a junior optics major, was one of the fortunate few to have a car on campus. He drove a Land Yacht – an early ‘80s Mercury Marquis four-door, fully loaded. An only child from Watervliet, NY, (outside of Albany) his parents lived on Easy Street. Really. They petitioned to get the street name changed, and won, so their official postal address was 1 Easy Street. On Tuesday afternoon before classes started, he drove a group of us to the local mall to get out of the dorm, shop and stock up on supplies. While in the mall, I considered the footprints on our dorm room walls and asked, “Does anybody know where I can get felt?”

 That started it. Stephen Paul, Chris, and Roz paused, stared at me, and laughed uproariously, guffawed even. I was clueless – I’m looking for the crafts store, what’s so funny? Sigh. The first of many quotes Stephen Paul kept in his private journal. I wonder if Ross might have laughed? I doubt it, he was accustomed to my blind blunders. He might have teased me a little – maybe jesting an intimate reply, “I know exactly where you can get felt.” I might have understood my gaffe and chewed ‘tardidly. But the guffaws threw me. I blushed and absent-mindedly chewed my tongue when someone finally stopped laughing enough to point out my unintentional double entendre.

 We got back from our shopping trip (stacks of colored felt procured without further incident) and I had a message to call home. I called, and Mom informed me that Mommer passed away the day before, on Monday, the Labor Day holiday. Mom and Dad had flown out to Oregon, said hello to Tom, got the call from the hospital, boarded a plane and flew back home.

 Ross had been with me when I last saw Mommer in the hospital. Now I was alone. Away from family, familiar friends, and no way to get home for the funeral service. I sat on the floor of the phone alcove and wished so much for Ross’ comforting presence. I called him at home and shared the sad news. He had been so patient with me and seemed to genuinely not mind going to visit her. In Rochester, I had no opportunity to grieve, classes were starting and my world started to spin.

 *          *          *

 Classes started Wednesday morning. I stopped at the post office in the afternoon, and found my first mail. It was from Ross.

  Postmarked SEP 3’85

Cincinnati, OH

 Sept. 1, 1985

 Deer Soozin,

 This is a tardid letter becuz this is a tardid terminal that I g0t al0ng time ag0 at W00ster that is from ab0ut 1969 and it sucks.

 Encl0sed is X

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 Encl0sed is the c0mplete st0ry on w0mbats.

Als0 s0me cart00ns….

And I th0ughT that y0u might want y0ur asprin case…..and s0me tapes!

M0MX says hell0. S0 d0es SK0T

I cann0t believe h0w much n0ise this thing makes.

 Enough teletypewriter tardidness….

 I felt strange going out with Steve last night because I sort of wanted to go dancing, but then again Steve is not exactly the person to go “cruising” with. Also, I’m not really ready yet. I would much prefer (obviously) to be doing something with you. And I don’t quite know how you feel about me seeing other people, etc…  I know what you’ve said, sort of. I wish you would give me some guidance here. I mean I would like to go out + stuff, but I’m really not sure what you’re thinking on the subject is…. Is this confusing to you? Do you care what I think about your going out?

 Whatever

 I am not good at writing interesting letters like yours, sorry.

 Watching Greg, Victor, Christopher, Adrian, Groteke, and Mojdehi get high the other night was not exactly an ideal way to spend Friday night. I need a FRIEND. Hard to find sometimes.

 Don’t call yourself a bitch. Everybody does stuff like that. I know you are a very sensitive caring person and that I do the same kind of stuff to you. I also know you had one hell of a lot on your mind about going to school, etc. So please don’t call yourself a bitch because you may convince me one day.

 2

 I miss you a lot, but right now I can’t even remember what you’re like! Do you know what I mean? Our telephone conversation today did not sound like Susan Savage to me.

 Query:  Is there anyone you’ve found worth being romantically interested in? I would like to know as soon as (if) there is, even if it may not lead to anything, because it is much easier to deal with if I know something is starting, rather than, “There’s this guy I really like a lot…and we’ve been spending a lot of time together…” type deals.

 Does this sound really possessive? I’m sorry. I can’t write “Light” letters. These are the things on my mind.

 I need a companion.

 You know, I really have no idea what you’ve been doing at school? Sort of a departure from this summer when we-both-knew-what-the-other-was-doing-at-every-waking-minute type attitude was more easily accomplished.

 I am very anxious to:

 start school

make friends

Get the PINTO fixed

Come see you. Here are the flight times:

 Cin – Roch. (Friday)                           Roch – Cin (Sunday)

3:15    6:40                                          7:00 p.m. ?

   3

 I’ll probably just stay until Sunday – but we’ll see.

 Very Sorry to hear about your grandma. I’ll go over tonight to see if there’s anything I can do for your parents.

Your pill Asprin case is enclosed. Sorry, we don’t have enough Asprin to fill it up!

 Well, I’m going to finish this letter so I can send it.

 I love you and I’ll talk to you soon!

 Love,

 Ross

  Did I have anyone in particular that I was interested in? No. Were there several guys who were interested in me? Probably – but I was at school for all of what, a week? Ross knew I didn’t have to work hard to get attention. The male: female ratio was something like 2:1. Do the math!

  I left my aspirin case? Hmmmph. I developed a habit with David and kept it ever since. I leave things behind when we part, my wallet usually, sometimes a sweatshirt or my shoes. When being dropped off at home, I said goodnight, got out of the car and climbed the stairs into the house without a second thought. The next day or several days later, or whenever I needed it, I called David, or he called me, or he stopped by to deliver my forgotten item, or I stopped by his house to retrieve the item. It got to be a joke after a while. I kissed David goodnight, and he said, “Got your wallet?” And I’d dig under the front passenger seat or get it out of the glove compartment. I’m sure a psychiatrist has an explanation for that behavior – fear of abandonment or not wanting to let go, or needing to return to the person. It couldn’t be as simple as forgetfulness. Just like David and Mark, I can’t tell you how many times Ross drove by the house to drop off my wallet, or sweater, or whatever that I had left in the car. I needed to leave something with Ross. I couldn’t leave my wallet, so I left a small plastic aspirin case that held twelve white pills. I wonder what else I left with him?

  Long before Ross and I spent our wonderful summer together, I chose the University of Rochester not for the academics (as my GPA can attest) but for the male:female ratio, presence of a Greek sorority / fraternity system (of which I was never a part – those of us on the floor took a perverse pride in razzing anyone who might choose to pledge a Greek house), presence of ROTC, a ten-hour drive from home, and finally, when I visited campus the previous fall, I noted that the women on campus all seemed to need to lose ten pounds or more. Not the best reasons to choose a college, eh? But I was having fun making bagel bikes, painting footprints, getting in squirt gun fights and getting felt. With peers surrounding me twenty-four hours a day, I was a social butterfly.

  *          *          *

  I brought more than a few childhood mementos with me to school. Of course I brought a photo of Ross, a Polaroid of him being Dum. Some favorite Bloom County comic strips, a drawing of Milo and Opus that Mark made, and a funny postcard from my brother Jack of an obese woman peeing on the beach. I kept photos of friends – Valli, Julie and Erin and David (a rare one of David without his beard) and arranged it all on the corkboard at the back of the desk. On the desktop I put my mini-stereo with tiny removable speakers (the tape player recorded, supposedly to record lectures and listen to them again) new technology at the time. Having no stereo, much less a turntable, I brought no records, only a few tapes I had been brave enough to purchase; Pink Floyd, Simon & Garfunkle’s Greatest Hits, James Taylor, and The Who, Face Dances. Ross recorded a couple of Joe Jackson and some Go-Go’s, and would soon send me a few others.

  On the shelf above the desk, I arranged the select few stuffed animals I brought, a favorite teddy bear, a stuffed dog my grandfather gave me, and the Opuses that were gifts from Ross and his Mom. Included in my mini-menagerie was a treasured stuffed beaver puppet my parents bought for me at the Appalachian Festival when I was a little girl, maybe I was ten or even as old as twelve. It was handmade and expensive at the time, so a special treat. My goal at the time was to collect a Noah’s ark full of stuffed animals, one of every species (dog, cat, bear, camel, hedgehog, fish, beaver, llama, etc). My father finally agreed to buy the puppet on the premise that MIT has the beaver on their school crest. “Nature’s Engineer” is what Dad (an MIT alumnus) told me.

  In the lounge of 6124’s, a half-dozen floor-mates, mostly male, huddled together watching television, conversing around the noise of whatever was broadcast. No one remembers the exact topic now, but relevant to the conversation at hand, and at an appropriate time, I said, “Oh, I have a beaver!” and promptly trotted off to my room to retrieve this puppet. Well, you can just imagine…six guys first started laughing that I said out loud, “I have a beaver.” They were further inspired when I actually produced “Nature’s Engineer.” They did unspeakably rude things to/with my treasured puppet and it really got waaaay out of hand. Just imagine five males between the ages of 18 and 22, and what they can do with a beaver puppet and a broken off hockey stick they called a “Fuck Stick.” I got frustrated that no one noticed how hurt I was, and went back to my room upset. In retrospect, they still believe the incident was very funny. But at the time, I really hadn’t wanted unspeakably rude things done to my treasured transitional object. They did eventually apologize, and I begrudgingly accepted their humility.

  I still have that puppet. For a long time I kept it in a basket with other childhood plush toys in my son’s room. One day when he was about three, he pawed through the basket and for whatever reason grew afraid of it (he’s a smart kid!), so today it sits in a basket in our bedroom. That beaver will never be a child's toy again!

  *          *          *

  I always listened to the music of the men of my life. In the late 70s and early 80s I visited my eldest brother Jack at college. His roommates played the Knack and Devo. Impressionable as I was, I thought those bands were cool. David and Christopher listened to Pink Floyd. In the evenings we lay on the floor of Christopher’s room above the garage and put on album after album. Dark side of the moon, Wish you were here, The Wall. In a more jovial daylight mood, they quizzed me, making a game to see how quickly I could recognize the album and track. The Who and Queen were staples in my high school. Heck, they were probably staples in most high schools for that time frame, the early 1980s.

  But driving around the city late at night, David tuned the radio to the local college station that picked up an NPR jazz show. I dozed as he drove through the night, comfortable in the passenger seat, enjoying the soothing strains that emanated from the speakers on the dash. I didn’t mind that he drove just to feel the speed and force as he took curvy roads too fast through the hills around Cincinnati. Finally, he returned me home, turned off the radio, we kissed and he shooed me inside. I forgot my wallet under the seat or in the glove box and called him later to retrieve it.

  Then later, when I drove the Pinto with Mark riding shotgun, I had two tapes for the cassette deck, Face Dances and Wish you were here. David and Christopher had given me a gift. I actually enjoyed a little Floyd, and Mark was impressed with my selection. Although Mark was angrier and listened to noisier punk bands, he reminded me that The Pretenders were a particular favorite of his and Scott’s. I’d forgotten. No wonder I enjoyed Bart’s music collection when we met.

  But Ross had the biggest selection by far. I became accustomed to asking, “Can you play the one that goes dum-dum-dum da-da-da?” and he pulled it out and put it on the player. My own personal DJ. When we were pen-pals, long before we ever started dating, his letters were full of musical references of the day; U2, Squeeze, Psychedelic Furs, Rush, Kinks. Then later, after we were inseparable, I discovered his true passions, Joe Jackson, Pat Metheny, Chaka Khan, Phil Collins and Genesis, and a private admiration for Neil Diamond. I was sworn to secrecy for that last one. What twenty-year old male in 1985 was willing to go public with his admiration of Neil Diamond??

  That’s probably why I gravitated to Mike’s room with Stephen Paul and Chris. Like Ross, Mike was an album accumulator and the conversation that afternoon was music. Mike was enthralled with the latest band he discovered that summer, Marillion, and we were being educated. The topic eventually turned to Genesis, Pink Floyd and the Who. Well, thank you David and Ross. I knew these bands. I knew the albums, I knew the lyrics, I knew the esoteric information of which only male adolescents are otherwise aware. Thanks to my buddies in high school, I was able to not only participate in that conversation, but “enlighten” those around me. It made an impression on them I guess…Chris remembers it all these years later. (Correction – he remembers not the actual conversation about music, but rather a conversation he and Mike and Stephen Paul had later in the dining hall. He reports that all were impressed with how I had held my own in their conversation.)

  What I find funny, is that while I was competent in several genres, including espousing the virtues of Joe Jackson and Pat Metheny. I was completely ignorant of Bruce Springsteen or Elton John. Evidently there is a distinction between Who fans and Springsteen fans. The two definitely did not mix. Not often anyway, and certainly not in collegiate male album collections in the mid-80s. I know the stereo wars later on got very loud. “Born in the USA” versus “Won’t get fooled again” or “Born to Run” versus “Substitute” or “My Generation”. It got vicious. One of the guys in the triple upstairs was a fan of Olivia Newton-John and cranked her “Physical” album over and over very loudly. The musical mix could be disconcerting at times.

  As I look back at it, that whole musical mix, I recognize that I married yet another album accumulator who still plays DJ on occasion. I also realize that it’s long past time for me to claim more music for my own. I always borrowed the sounds of others. I need to pick and choose and play my own music. But try as I might, I still cling to the music of others. I bought some John Denver, reminiscent of my father’s favorites. He taught himself to play Denver’s hits on the guitar when I was young and he was in his 30s. The music is soothing, a comfort from my childhood. Likewise are the story songs of Jim Croce and Harry Chapin, both men wooing audiences with their sad stories accompanied by guitar. Coincidentally, (or not) all three performers died untimely accidental deaths at the prime of their careers.

  *          *          *

  As soon as the students moved in and all the parents were gone, a construction crew closed off the driveway along the dorms. They would build a new parking lot – reconfigure the drive, add more parking spaces. The contractors arrived early, 7 or 8 in the morning. Sometimes their noise woke me up, so I dragged myself out of bed and watched from our window. The machinery was fascinating and I found it peaceful and relaxing to watch them work. First they tore up the old roadway, shovels cracking the asphalt and filling dump trucks with load after load. Other machines pulled out the curbstones and stacked them for re-use. I was amazed to learn that in Rochester and Western New York, curbs are made of granite. I don’t know where it was quarried, but new curbs were delivered in 4-6 foot lengths and backhoes excavated about six feet down in order to place the slabs. Where I grew up, curbs are built up out of wooden forms, and poured concrete or asphalt. I’m not at home anymore, am I?=ce���