Tumgik
#my friend is also coming over to sit socially distanced in my yard
dankfarrikfifi · 2 months
Text
The Birthday Bash
Pt 1 of Some Version of You, 4.8k
A/N: contains mentions of smoking and drug use, a cute first encounter, and a few kisses. reader is not described other than being shorter than Frankie, wearing glasses, and having hair long enough to braid. This is my first ever fic, I’m hoping you guys like it! Reader has a name in my mind but I liked keeping it open for you to decide. Let me know what you think! Hopefully I’ll have the second part up soon :) Will get more explicit as the story goes on.
Tumblr media
Tumblr media
For as long as you could remember, your birthday was never your own. Sometimes it was a point of contention, but because it was shared with your lifelong best friend, Benny Miller, you couldn’t be too mad about it. Since you were 4 and Benny was 6, the two of you had shared a party, your “Birthday Bash” as it had come to be called. By the time you were turning 24, this had not changed.
People were piled into every corner of the backyard of the house you shared with Benny, some your closest friends, others very vague connections that were simply capitalizing on the opportunity to party. There was a fire blazing in the pit, and the pool was threatening to spill over with the amount of bodies filling it, despite the slight chill that had settled in the air. Benny, being the social butterfly that he is, was wandering around, greeting guests and chatting with anyone who came his way. You, on the other hand, were observing from a distance, perched on the retaining wall in the back of the yard with Benny’s brother. Will Miller, being the oldest and more reserved of the brothers, was content to share a quiet moment with you, passing a joint back and forth.
“Ya know,” Will said before releasing the smoke he had been holding in his mouth, “You should probably go greet some of your guests, be a nice host.”
“As if,” you nudge his shoulder with yours, almost knocking the both of you over in your haze. You erupt in a fit of giggles, a sound that should not come out of a man his size escaping Will. “We all know Benny is the social twin and I’m the antisocial one.”
“I thought twins were normally the same age,” he has made this argument countless times, and it’s almost automatic at this point, “And also, had the same parents.”
You roll your eyes, not bothering to fall into the trap of arguing this one out with a high Miller boy. Instead, you motion for the joint, pulling your hands around the lighter as the flame flickers. You’re midway through a deep inhale when you look up and notice the two men walking towards you. And at the sight of the taller one, the breath gets caught in your throat, and the coughing starts up. You feel like you can’t breathe, from the combination of smoke burning in your lungs and the incredibly attractive man.
“Jesus, dude, what’s wrong with you?” Will is laughing, patting your back in a lame attempt at easing your suffering. You finally manage a deep breath in as the two men finally reach you. The shorter of the two looks around 30, short kept curly hair and some stubble across his cheek. You vaguely recognize him, trying to place his face while also checking out the other one. He’s tall. Like really tall, at least compared to you. His handsome, boyish face is clean shaven, and his dark brown hair looks as if it’s a few months out from a buzz cut.
“I’m good, I’m good,” you manage to get out, “lost my breath there for a second.”
“It’s because we’re just that damn good looking, Miller.” the shorter one greets with a sharp grin on his face. Will flips him the finger, before standing up and man-hugging them each. They pat each other on the back and grin, and you realize why they had looked so familiar. You had seen them in the pictures Will had saved from the army.
“Santi, glad to see you’re still an arrogant asshole,” Will shoots back as he sits next to you, gesturing for the men to sit on the bench situated across from the two of you. “Fish, looking good, how are you doing?”
“Doing good, Will, doing good.” The taller one, Fish as Will had called him, grumbles, his deep voice resonating in your mind. He turns to you, holding a hand out in greeting, “I’m Frankie, nice to meet you.”
You blush, hoping the night hides it from the attractive man in front of you, grasping his hand in yours. It’s huge in comparison, warm and calloused. You introduce yourself to him before turning and doing the same to his friend.
“Ah, the birthday girl!” He grins at you, “Very nice to meet you. I’m Santi, we were in Delta Force with Will.”
“Oh cool!” you smile at the two of them, holding out the joint in a silent offer that they both take you up on, “Will’s talked about you guys a lot, nice to meet you. What brings you to town?”
The four of you get to talking, Santi explaining that he and Frankie had needed a change of scenery after leaving the army, and Will had talked so highly of the town they now all lived in. Frankie chimed in with some details here and there, but otherwise didn’t talk as much as his counterpart. Despite this, you feel your eyes drifting to him more, catching his own already looking at you. You learn that Santi had joined Will in his recent purchase of a local gym, down the street from the coffee shop you worked at.
“Little Mike’s, seriously?” you laugh, the name always bringing you amusement, “I love that place! Benny and I work out there all the time. Please tell me you’re not changing the name.”
“Of course not!” Santi assures you. “I don’t even know who Mike is, though.
“No one does, that’s what makes it so amazing. It’s a mystery.” you joke, and you internally cheer when it gets Frankie to laugh a little. You turn your attention to him.
“What about you, Frankie?” you ask him, trying to learn more about the quiet man. He clears his throat slightly before speaking, the joint held delicately in his fingers.
“I’m actually working as a mechanic, at the shop on Central?” he maintains eye contact the entire time, making you feel like it is just the two of you for a brief moment.
“You two will definitely be seeing each other a lot, then,” Will laughs, and you yet again shove your shoulder against his, “Frankie’s a coffee addict, and you can’t keep a car running to save your life.”
He wasn’t wrong, and you can’t help but laugh along with him. And when Benny stumbles up to the group, you and Will are still giggling uncontrollably, made worse by Benny almost wiping out.
“Shut up, assholes,” he grumbles at you, straightening out before greeting everyone. “Boys, good to see you, welcome to the birthday bash!”
He grabs you by the arm, pulling you into his side and pressing a kiss to your head. You scrunch your face in mock disgust and roll your eyes, used in full at this point to Benny and his overly affectionate nature.
“You ready for cake, birthday girl?” He asks, spinning you around and catching you when the spin has a little too much force behind it.
“Absolutely birthday boy, lead the way.”
The two of you stumble in towards the house, and along the way Benny starts to yell: “Time for cake!”. People cheer, following into the back door while you grab the cake from the fridge. As per usual, you had one cake, specially decorated for you and Benny, and several other sheets of cupcakes for everyone else to share. Benny sticks some candles in the top of the cake, 24 for you and 26 for him, and leans in to light them. At once, everyone starts singing happy birthday. When you look up, you can’t help but latch your eyes onto Frankie, who you hadn’t noticed was right in front of you.
“Happy birthday to you!” they all finish, a loud cheer filling the living room. And, as tradition dictated, you and Benny each grabbed a handful of cake, shoving it in each other's faces. You’re laughing uncontrollably, and eventually everyone starts filing back out to the pool after grabbing their sweet treats. You turn to the kitchen, ready to wipe the frosting off your face, and run straight into a solid chest. Frankie catches you, hands wrapping firmly around your shoulders.
“Shit, sorry,” he slurs ever so slightly, and you realize he’s just as faded as you are right now, “Happy birthday. Didn’t say that earlier.”
“Thanks,” you blush, noticing his hands are still on your shoulders. He seems to notice at the same time, pulling them back to rest at his sides. His dark eyes remain fixed on you, a heavy gaze that leaves your head spinning.
“I, uh, I’m stoned,” he grins at you and you can’t help but return the smile, the two of you unconsciously making your way through the house, away from the crowd. You find yourselves in the living room, where a few people, including Will and Santi, sat scattered around. You half expected that you would go and join the two of them, but instead Frankie steers you towards the love seat, sinking down into it with a groan.
“This is the best couch I’ve ever sat on,” He looks up at you, an amused glint in his hazy eyes. Something in that look fuels your confidence enough that you sit down next to him, the furniture not allowing quite enough room for you both without being pressed together. If your head was less fuzzy, from the weed and the festivities and the very cute man sitting next to you, you probably would not have had the courage to lean into him as you begin conversing.
You quickly find that you and Frankie get along well. You share stories of your childhoods, discuss favorite foods, movies, any topic that pops into either of your heads. The rest of the party seems to fade away as you chat and chat, occasionally parting when someone approaches to say goodbye to you and Benny as the night grows to a close. Before long, there are 5 bodies left in the room; Will, sprawled back in the arm chair; Santi and Benny, playing a game of cribbage on the floor; you and Frankie on the love seat, him sprawled out and slouched back, you with your knees to your chest and feet tucked under his thigh.
“Earth to Frankie!” Santi calls from across the room, startling the two of you out of your enthralling conversation on coffee. “I asked if you wanted to play?”
Frankie blushes slightly, something that does not go unnoticed by you. You lock eyes with Benny, who has a sly grin plastered on his face. Will’s expression is much the same. You start to wonder how long they had been trying to get Frankie’s attention while you were talking.
“What are you two even talking about?” Benny teases, as if he can read your mind. You narrow your eyes at him without responding. Instead, you stand up and stretch, yawning as well.
“I don’t know about you boys, but it’s past my bedtime.” you change the subject, having realized it’s nearing 1 in the morning and you’re opening crew at the shop in 5 hours. You bid goodnight to them all, with the promise to see them soon, and head up to your room. Getting ready for bed in record time, you’re soon nestled under the covers, attempting to fall asleep. But something is stopping you from fully relaxing. After several minutes of tossing and turning, you finally drift off.
———————————————————————————
It feels like you’ve been asleep for maybe half an hour when your first alarm goes off. As usual, you snooze without thinking. Not long after, your “I really have to leave now” alarm is going off. You groan, exhausted and just the slightest bit hungover, giving yourself a second to be miserable before pushing back the covers to start your day.
It doesn’t take you long to get ready, and soon you’re off for the day. The 8 minute drive to work gives you just enough time to think about last night, and by the time you arrive your mind can barely focus on your opening tasks. All you can focus on is the man you met last night, Frankie. The two of you had clicked so effortlessly, an instant connection that you hadn’t felt with anyone in the past. And although he seemed a handful of years older than you, that didn’t stop the budding romantic feelings from taking root in your chest. Finally, you have the shop set up to your liking, a song playing softly in the background and tables organized to optimize space.
The shop promises to be open at 7, and although you don’t always make that it looks like today will be better than most. At 6:58 you’re unlocking the door and propping it open, letting the early morning sunlight shine across the hardwood floor. And soon, you’re able to lose yourself in the day. Alia, you’re cashier and partner in crime for the day, bustles in a few minutes late with an apologetic kiss to your cheek. Soon after, the pre-work rush begins and you don’t have a moment to think of last night as you work to make latte after latte. By the time the rush has passed you’re sweating and need to take a break.
“Alia, I’m taking a fifteen, just holler if someone comes in, will ya?”
She confirms with you, and you gather your bag from behind the register and head to the very back corner of the store. You love it back here, sitting in the corner of two benches, with enough table space to lay out your supplies. Your favorite part of the day, any day, is when you get to hide back here and write to your heart's content. It’s usually only as long as the lull between the breakfast and lunch rush, but you still try to lose yourself. It’s so far a success, until you feel a shadow slip over the table, blurring the words you had just been scribbling. You glance up, and you can’t quite believe your eyes.
Frankie is towering over you, a sly grin on his face as you startle slightly.
“Mind if I join you?” he asks, and when you nod your head at him he slides into the chair across from you, smiling all the while. You can’t help the tug of your lips as you smile back. Frankie gestures towards your notebook.
“Do you write?” he questions, and you feel a slight flush rising on your cheeks.
“Yea, any chance I get.” You reply, and without thinking you’re sharing your latest story with him. You’re soon lost in discussion, only interrupted by Alia. She blinks for a second, looking between the two of you, before she turns to you with an apologetic smile.
“I’m so sorry, can you come and make a few drinks. They’re a little outside of my wheelhouse.”
“Oh of course, I’ll be right back,” you say to Frankie and rushes to the counter. Never in your life have you made a London fog and mocha faster, but after a few minutes you’re able to return to your spot. To your surprise and genuine enjoyment, Frankie is still there. He grins as you set a cup of black coffee in front of him.
“I didn’t know how you liked it,” you say, almost shy.
“Sure you did,” he laughs, holding the cup up towards you in a mock toast. “Black as can be, that’s how it’s meant to be.”
“Ok fair, black coffee is good, but sometimes the fru-fru stuff is the best.”
And so launches a fierce debate between you, while the air of levitivity remains. You get up every once in a while to make a drink, but mostly remain at the table, chatting with your new friend. Finally, Frankie looks at his watch and startles.
“Shit, lost track of time, my shift started 10 minutes ago!” You couldn’t help but laugh, feeling honored that he was late for work because he had been so engaged with you. You said your goodbyes as he rushed out of the shop, trying to sneakily leave a 20 in the tip jar. You waved for a beat too long, realizing it with a flutter in your stomach. A nervous excitement has filled you during your time together, and you aren’t quite sure what to make of it.
“So, you gonna tell me who that handsome man was?” Alia startles you as she slides up to your side. “Are you seeing him?”
“No! I just met him last night, he’s a friend of Will’s,” you explain to her, without giving away too much. Being the perceptive girl she is, you’re sure she’ll see through to the truth of how you’re feeling. However, she must be feeling merciful, as she doesn’t push you, leaving you to think it through yourself. It, of course being, your newfound feelings for Frankie.
——————————————————————-
It’s been a few days since you last saw Frankie. Picking up some extra shifts had left you with little free time, and the spare minutes you did have were reserved for working on your writing. A fresh idea had popped into your head midway through your shift Monday, and by Friday you had a very, very rough draft. You were sitting on the loveseat in comfy clothes, hair braided on each side and your ridiculously large “artsy glasses” (as Benny had dubbed them) perched atop your nose. You’re so focused on the keyboard at your fingers that you barely notice the knock at the door.
“I got it!” Benny bellows, rushing towards the door like a golden retriever. He yanks it open to reveal Santi, Will and Frankie standing on the steps. You still aren’t wholly paying attention, not until you hear Frankie’s deep chuckle coming from the doorway of the living room. Your head shoots up and you meet his eyes. You can’t help the grin on your face.
“Hi.” You say in simple greeting, quickly saving the document you had been working on and shoving your computer under the coffee table.
“Hey there,” Frankie responds, settling into the seat next to you. It isn’t until that moment that you realize the amount of skin shown off by your comfy outfit. He’s wearing shorts, and your bare legs press together on the tight couch. It sends a rush down your spine, and you try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach as the rest of the boys file in, a riot of laughter at some unheard joke.
“Sorry bud, hope you don’t mind,” Benny says to you as they all settle into their various spots. “We were gonna watch the fight at Will’s but his power went out.”
“No worries Ben, I’ll leave you guys to it.” You move to stand, but are surprised when a hand wraps around your wrist. You glance down at Frankie, who is now leveling you with some serious puppy dog eyes.
“Stay with us, we’re ordering food.” You almost think you can see a blush on his cheeks, and you acquiesce.
“Ok, if you insist,” you joke, “Just let me go get changed out of my pajamas for the first time today.”
You rush upstairs, throwing on some less revealing yet still comfortable clothes, before stopping in the mirror. You can’t help but check, see if you’re looking as cute as you want. Before you can second guess, you rush back downstairs as Benny starts hollering your name.
“I’m coming, I’m coming,” you yell back. You trounce back into the living room, hoping that you’re not imagining the glance Frankie chances at the sliver of skin between your sweatpants and t-shirt.
“Pepperoni and pineapple, coke to drink?” Benny confirms with you, as if you hadn’t had the same order for the past 20 years. You nod at him before settling back in next to Frankie. It takes a while for the food to get to the house, all the while you are trying to ignore every point your bodies come in contact with one another. It’s a futile effort, especially when he seems to be inching closer every few minutes. Once the food is delivered, and everyone else was distracted by that, Frankie finally has a moment alone with you.
“So, how’s your week been?” he asks you, arm slung across the back of the cushions, just barely dragging against your shoulder. You can’t help but lean into the touch.
“Pretty good, you?” you ask back.
“Pretty good, worked some extra shifts, had some amazing coffee,” he winks at you when he says that point, the blush that seemed ever present around him spreading across your cheeks, “How’s the writing going?”
Your face involuntarily lights up, always excited to share some of your ideas with someone with a bit more reading tendencies than Benny. Before you can start word-vomiting about your current piece, Santi appears out of thin air, motioning the two of you to the kitchen.
“Ben’s bulking, might want to get in there before it’s all gone.”
You both thank him and rush into the kitchen, grabbing a sufficient amount of food. You grin when Frankie bumps his hip against yours, not quite sure if it was on purpose or not. Whichever it was, it made you smile and think maybe it wasn’t just you with the ever growing feelings. You try not to dwell on it too much, instead following Frankie back to the living room and falling back into what you are quickly finding to be your assigned seat.
This time you’re sitting cross legged, facing him on the love seat while he leans back, his legs spread ever so slightly to hold the plate of pizza on his lap. You’re all chatting, Benny and Will trying to start a fight with Santi over the best fighter in the ring tonight. You honestly couldn’t care less, and it seems Frankie is the same. Soon, the talking turns to cheering at the TV once the fight starts. You almost jump when Frankie leans in close, whispering in your ear.
“I had fun the other night,” he starts, gesturing with his head towards the back yard. “I brought my own stash, wanna share with me?”
You beam at him, and without explaining to the others, the two of you sneak out the sliding glass door to the back yard. With some fiddling you have the string lights illuminated, bathing the deck in a soft glow while Frankie preps a bowl for the two of you. He’s sitting on the outdoor couch, and you hesitate for a second, debating between sitting next to him or across on the bench. Before you can make a decision Frankie pats the seat next to him with one hand, not even looking up from what he’s doing.
“I figured I owed you for letting me smoke all of your weed the other day.” You laugh slightly and settle in next to him, using the slight bite in the air to stick close to his side.
“I mean, I wasn’t gonna ask, but thank you.”
He grins at you, offering the bowl to you for the first puff. You take it from his hand, your fingers brushing together. Without thinking you lean towards him and allow him to light it for you, his hands cupping the lighter to shield the flame. It causes you to be in very close proximity, and the flickering light illuminates his face in a way that you find irresistible. You breathe in deeply, relishing in the sweet burn before releasing the smoke in a curl around your heads. You pass the bowl back and forth, lighting for each other as an excuse to stay close.
“Fuck, I don’t know if I can do anymore,” Frankie coughs, his eyes hooded. You giggle, agreeing with him. And yet, neither of you can move, remaining on the couch even as the air gets chillier and chillier. Eventually, you can’t help the shiver that runs through you. You go to suggest moving inside, but before you can the other boys are trampling out the back door.
“See I told you!” Benny is shouting at the other two, “I told you, KO’d in the third round!”
Santi wordlessly holds his hand out for Frankie’s pipe, lighting it and taking a deep drag. Frankie is suddenly lost in the conversation with the boys, but before you can get up to find something warm, he’s shrugging his flannel off and handing it to you, smiling warmly.
“Oh, uh, thank you,” you’re suddenly nervous around him again as you pull his shirt around your shoulders and slip your arms down the sleeves. The cuffs go long past your hands and the spicy smell of him fills your weed-addled brain. You almost feel lightheaded, and take a moment to curl up, leaning your head against the back of the couch. This movement just happens to bring you closer to Frankie, something that you don’t think is unnoticed by him.
“You good?” he asks you, noticing your sudden quiet. You grin lazily at him, nodding your head and curling up tighter trying to get comfortable. He smiles and throws his arm around you. Benny and Santi are fake boxing, with Benny being the obvious winner, so you don’t have to worry about them commenting on your position. Will is not so easily distracted, and before you can move he’s grinning at you, your cheeks burning hot. You mouth some choice words at him, along the lines of “don’t you say anything” and he shakes his head, turning away. Even with the lasting edge of anxiety you are feeling, you can’t bring yourself to move away from the man next to you. He’s just so ...warm, comfy, and cute.
The last word startles you a bit, even just coming from your thoughts. You hadn’t really put much thought to it, the idea of being more than friends with this man you just recently met. Now, sitting here pressed against his side, his flannel wrapped around you and overwhelming your senses, it’s all you can think about.
————————————————————————-
It isn’t long until the boys start tapping out, one at a time excusing themselves to bed until it’s just you and Frankie left. You try not to think too much of it, but then he turns towards you, a sly smile on his face.
“Having a good time?” you ask him, trying to break the tension that is slowly building between the two of you.
“Oh yea, lots of fun,” he’s teasing, and you both know it. But some little part of you wants, needs the validation that what you think is happening really is.
“Frankie,” you start, shifting ever so slightly closer to his firm, warm body, “I think I want to kiss you. Would that be ok?”
His smile blossoms, a warm, genuine thing that lights up your insides. He leans closer, bumping your noses together before fitting his lips to yours. You both make a noise, your soft moan covered by his deep one, and you reach your fingers up to tangle in his short hair. His hand grasps your waist, his other cradling your cheek in a tender touch that has your mind reeling. You sit there for a while, breathing each other in before parting. You’re just ever so slightly out of breath when you peel your eyes open to meet his gaze.
“Do you wanna go out tomorrow?” he asks you, his eyes heavy with the need for sleep but unable to pull himself away from you. “Just the two of us, a date?”
“Absolutely, I want to do that, yes,” you stumble on the words in their haste to escape you. He pulls your mouth back to his, another soft kiss that leaves you wanting more, but he pulls back.
“If I’m gonna make it home alive I gotta leave soon, sweetheart,” he grumbles, almost as if he’s mad at himself, “I’m falling asleep despite the amazing company.”
You roll your eyes at him and stand up, reaching down to pull him up with you. He stumbles a little with the force of your pull and finds your cheeks with his hands, pressing one more searing kiss to your lips.
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow, 6 o’clock, sound good?” he whispers against your lips. You nod, biting at your cheek to keep from grinning like a lunatic. You walk him to the front door, trying to keep from alerting Benny how late Frankie had stayed. With a few more kisses, he’s finally to his truck in the driveway, turning around to wave goodbye. You return it with a soft smile, watching as he backs out before heading back into the house.
You take your time getting ready for bed, doing every step of your routine thoroughly to savor the feelings fluttering in your chest. Eventually, you can barely keep your eyes open. The second your head hits the pillow, you’re out like a light.
79 notes · View notes
itsbeenclaireified · 3 years
Text
I’ll be more interesting when March ends. There’s just a lot of work stuff so it’s been a pain. So here’s some pictures of Trixie to get us all thru.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
4 notes · View notes
rommahh · 3 years
Text
I Carry Your Heart
Tumblr media
Harry Styles x Reader
Word Count: 4k
{Ahhhh ok so this is my first work like ever. There will definitely be a second part because ive got more to say and it needs a second part. I hope whoever sees and reads this imagine enjoys it. I appreciate comments, likes, reblogs, ideas on what could go into the story, and any form of help and redirection as to how i should write things. Much love, R.}.
Part two
All Y/N wanted tonight was to hang out with her boyfriend, eat a mass amount of junk food, and watch a marvel movie or two. That was all she wanted and that was all she asked of her boyfriend. Instead of any of that happening, she found herself sitting on the nasty kitchen island of her boyfriend's frat at a party that she was trying to avoid going to.
This party was supposedly ‘the party of the year.’ The last rager before finals and then christmas break. Y/N had spent the whole week studying and finishing up end of semester projects hence the want for a chill night. When Harry came to her saying his frat was throwing a party tonight and that he just HAD to be here, Y/N didn't feel like she had a choice but to let him go. She came because she thought this would be the only time she would be able to have some time with Harry after a long week of barely seeing each other. With two vastly different majors, the couple wasnt able to find a lot of time in the middle of school work to make time for just the two of them. Obviously her hopes of quality time with her man were futile because here she was sitting by herself in the kitchen of the frat while Harry drank and got high with his friends in other parts of the house.
Of course she was disappointed. She felt a knot in her throat and a weight on her chest just sitting there in that kitchen. Her white claw was warm now- not that it was any cold when she opened it. She was starting to form a small headache from the too loud music and the ache in her heart was growing.
She stood from the countertop on the search for her boyfriend, hoping he wasn't too far gone from sober. Wiping the back of her jeans from anything that was left on the island, she began walking around the house. She doesn't remember the last time the two of them spent time together by themselves. Of course they occasionally ate dinner together in the dining hall but they were normally surrounded by friends. Y/N wanted to be alone with her boyfriend to talk and bask in his presence.
After pushing through groups of partying humans, she found Harry and at least ten other people sitting around playing some sort of drinking game.
“Y/N! Where have you been?” Luca, one of Harry's frat brothers yelled out to her from the circle. Luca was cool, he was one of the only tolerable boys in this frat aside from Harry. Hearing his girlfriend's name, Harry turned around from where he sat on the ground and reached out for his girlfriend to sit beside him. Much to Y/N’s dismay, Harry was wasted. His eyes were half mass and his words bumped and slurred together. “We are playing truth or dare, wanna play?” Luca asked.
“I don't wanna play but Ill sit and watch.” Sitting next to her boyfriend, she grabbed one of his hands holding it in her lap. She was annoyed at him but it did her no good to show it when he was this drunk.
This game of truth or dare was childish. Dares of licking people's shoes and taking multiple shots had been done and truths about money and relationships were being spilled among the group. It had finally become Harry’s turn to do something, making Y/N tense.
“Ok Harry, I dare you to…” One drunk frat boy started looking around the room trying to come up with something clever. His eyes landed on a pretty girl in the room, Yara, a stuck up girl who for sure got her way no matter what. “I dare you to kiss the hottest girl in the room- obviously not your girlfriend because that defeats the purpose.” The frat boy smirked knowing what his intentions were. Everyone in the group giggles and gasped shocked by the dare but ready to see what was going to go down. Y/N’s brows furrowed as she became angry with the stupid dare.
The ache in her chest seemed to tip over the edge when she felt her boyfriend in the room move to stand up. She grabbed at the bottom of his shirt as a way of stopping him. Harry halted his movements to look down at his girlfriend. He giggled a little.
“You’re not actually going to do this right?” She asked Harry with wide eyes of shock. Harry laughed at her like she made a joke, making her heart hurt even more.”Harry I do not want you to do this just take the shot and lose the dare.” Her tone held warning.
“Don't be silly of course I'm going to. It's just a dare, nothing serious. Don't be so clingy.” He stood walking over to Yara and planted a wet kiss on her mouth. Yara gripped Harry’s shirt and kissed him harder. The kiss went on for a few more seconds, the room absolutely silent out of shock. Harry stepped back from Yara slightly sobering up from his actions. Yara smirked at Y/N, hand gliding down the front of Harry's shirt.
Y/N stood from the seat she was in and scoffed. Scoffed because she should've known Harry would do something like this. Scoffed because it hurt to see her boyfriend do something so careless without any regard for his girl's feelings. She pulled herself together, feeling her throat tighten once again. She was quick to leave the room and down the hall of the frat.
Harry's clumsy steps could be heard from behind her as he mumbled her name. Or at least he tried to. He was still so out of it, his words not making much sense. Y/N was crying now, the strength that she had slowly dissolving as she walked further away from her boyfriend.
“Y/N wait. P-please wait. I cant-” Harry stumbled over his legs behind her falling into the grass of the front yard. The girl couldn't help but turn around looking at her stupid boyfriend. She was choking on sobs now. She wasn't crying over a measly little kiss but over an extreme amount of burnout from school and exhaustion from simply existing. She was crying because her boyfriend ignored her boundaries, crushing and erasing the boundaries she had set in their relationship. Harry tried reaching for her once she had stopped walking. His hand clasped around her wrist, he laid his head down on her shoulder. He hated seeing her cry even if he was too drunk to see why.
“Baby don't leave, Im-Im Sorry.” He hiccuped and burped due to the alcohol. Y/N felt her rage build. Shoving Harry off of her, she crossed her arms across her chest as a way to shield herself from Harry physically. He was hurt by her distance and the wall she put up around her.
“You're an idiot Harry. An idiot!” her sobs grew louder, some stray party goers watching in amusement- some even snapchatting it for shits and giggles. “I didnt want you to kiss her and you did. What provoked you to think that was ok? All I wanted was for us to hang out tonight and just be us and you did this!” She was yelling now. Her hurt is beyond her now. Anger and rage simmered throughout her body making her head dizzy and her fingers curl within themselves. She didnt like being angry. It wasn't an emotion she liked acting on, it felt impersonal.
“Baby I don't under-” Before Harry could finish his sentence he was barfing at his feet. Y/N stepped back disgusted with her boyfriend. She couldn't even feel remorseful because of how angry she was. Luca, the frat brother from earlier, caught up with Harry and his girl only to find Harry doubled over heaving. Luca wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders.
“I'm sorry Luca but I can't do this tonight. Can you please make sure he gets some water and goes to bed. I-I can't do it tonight, I wish I could but I can't.” Y/N didn't want to leave her boyfriend in this state but she didn't deserve this. She wasn't going to care for her drunk boyfriend when all she wanted to do was care for herself. Selfishly, she enjoyed seeing him this way because of the anger he caused her.
Luca shook his head in understandment. “Of course, I'm really sorry for tonight. He's going to seriously regret this in the morning, especially since it will be circulating all over snapchat in the morning.” Luca waved to Y/N then proceeded to pull Harry into the house. Harry called out for Y/N not wanting to be away from her but Luca pulled him harder.
Harry woke up the next morning feeling like the bottom of a dumpster. He wasn't shocked by that. He knew he got trashed last night, he had planned to. He, just like Y/N, spent all week studying and completing projects while also fulfilling certain responsibilities for his frat. He wanted one night to be a normal teen. So he drank and drank and drank and maybe even smoked some weed. As he tried to recall last night's events he came up with nothing. He didn't understand why Y/N wasn't here with him like she normally would after a party on the weekend. They were normally always together during the weekend. A bad feeling loomed over him. He could tell something wasn't right but decided to put his feelings to the side.
He saw a bottle of water beside his bed making him think she was probably here and left early. Chugging the water he started to go through his socials to see if anyone had posted about the party. He had multiple tagged pics and videos in his notifications from snapchat. Way more than he normally would.
The first video he saw was a video of him and Y/N standing in the front yard of the frat house. Turning the volume all the way up he could hear Y/N yelling, it shocked him. She doesn't normally raise her voice, especially not at him. The angle changed showing her face which was red with anger, eyes filled with unshed tears. He could hear her yelling about him kissing someone else. He felt his heart stop. He had kissed someone else? On the next snap was a picture of him keeled over vomiting on his shoes with the caption saying, ‘are yall seeing this shit?’ Harry was embarrassed but he was more concerned than anything.
His head was hurting but it didn't stop him from rolling out of bed, washing up, and putting on a fresh set of clothes. He checked his phone hoping Y/N had messaged him but nothing was there. He walked into the kitchen only to see luca sitting at the counter eating cereal.
“Hey Harry….” Luca said warily. Luca pushed the cereal around his bowl feeling the tension begin to rise in the room. He felt horrible about his friends.
“Luca...what's up?” Harry was confused by Lucas' wariness.
“So do you remember anything about last night?” Luca asked, setting his cereal down in the sink behind him. Harry started playing with the frayed edges of a bracelet Y/N made for him. It had little beads with her name on it. They made them together at an event on campus.
“I don't, I only saw the videos of Y/N screaming at me. I think I fucked up but I- I don't know what happened.” Harry's cheek flushed with even more embarrassment. Luca awkwardly chuckled scratching the back of his neck.
“You got dared to kiss the hottest girl in the room and um actually did it in front of Y/N...even though she didn't want you to. Which led you guys outside and yeah you know the rest...Im sorry dude, I wish I had stopped you.”
“Who- who did I kiss?” Harrys stomach lurched when he heard Yara’s name come out of Lucas' name. Y/N didn't like Yara and it was understandable. Yara has been pining after Harry since their first year of college. Harry couldn't breathe. He felt disgusted with himself. He could only imagine how Y/N was feeling.
Y/N woke up the same morning, eyes puffy and crusty from tears and head hurting. She probably cried herself into dehydration. She was lucky enough to have no roommate because she wouldn't have wanted someone else to see her breakdown. She still couldn't believe last night went down the way it went down. She couldn't tell if she was just being overdramatic or if her emotions were in the right place. She didn't want to be mad at Harry. He was everything to her, she had an odd connection to him. Meeting him during their freshman welcome week they quickly became best friends with a growing romantic connection in the mix. They started dating before Christmas break. They had grown close so fast that he even came home with her to meet her family for the first few days of break.  Even though they were in their junior year of college, Y/N could see them beyond college. She's imagined them getting married, travelling, sharing a home. She saw the whole future with him. She had her doubts though. He was immature just like every other boy in college. He was dumb with his actions and tended to only do things if they benefited him. He had a lot of growing to do as a person, so did she but she wanted to grow with him.
She heard a knock on her door hesitating to answer it because one, it could be Harry, and two, she looked like a wreck. Answering anyways, she was met with a very sorry looking Harry holding a small coffee and bagel from their cafe.
“Hi baby…” He sheepishly said holding out the items. She silently let him through the door not once looking him in the eye. He stepped into her room, setting her treats on her desk. He could see that her bed was messy meaning she recently woke up. Y/N never went about her day without making her bed. He turned back to her and finally their eyes met. He took in all of her facial features, from her puffy eyes, to her downturned lips that looked chapped, to her flushed cheeks that longed to be held for warmth. He hated to see her like this, the last time he saw her so upset was when her parents moved out of her childhood home. It took alot to make Y/N this upset. She was normally really headstrong and vigilant. She knew how to ease her way out of problematic situations and could talk her way through anything.
Harry opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by Y/N holding her hand up in front of his face. “Don't talk. I'm really hurt Harry, so if your plan was to come over here and apologize over bagels- think again.” She snapped, backing up to put space between the two of them. She sat down on her bed while Harry pulled the desk chair out and sat down. He much preferred to be on the bed with her holding her tight but he didn't want to overstep boundaries.
“Love, I don't know where to begin. I'm really sorry for what happened last night. I was really drunk and obviously wasn't in the right headspace.” Harry reached out and touched the tips of her fingers with his. She wanted to move but it felt good to be touched by Harry.
“I told you that a measly little apology won't do Harry. I didn't want you to kiss Yara and you did anyway. You know how Yara feels about you and you just let it happen!” She pulled her hand away remembering the prior night's events. Harry felt himself getting angry too. He felt like he needed to defend himself- even though it would be a very bad idea.
“I think you're being over dramatic.” Wrong move Harry. “It wasn't like I was making out with her!”
“You're joking right?” She scoffed and scooted further up her bed to create more distance. “Harry it's the simple fact that you did something that made me uncomfortable that shouldn't have even happened. I see myself getting married to you and it makes me worry that right now in our relationship you can't respect my boundaries!” She yelled. Harry’s eyes widened as he laughed sarcastically.
“Married? What the fuck are you on about? I'm a junior in college. In what world would it make sense for me to be prepping a relationship for marriage? Once again I think you're being over dramatic.” Her eyes watered hearing Harry's statement.
“I- I guess I'm the only one in this relationship thinking about the future? I thought we were on the same page. I'm not planning our marriage now, obviously. I'm thinking about how elements of our relationship now could play out in the future when we do want to get married. You cheated on me last night. I went to a party you begged ME to go to only to be there for you. I wanted to be here cuddling with you, pigging out on fast food but I was at a party with you and got cheated on!” Her volume rises once again, making Harry shove his chair from underneath him when he stands up.
“You're doing too much right now. I'm not planning a future right now because I don't want this future! I want to be myself without thinking about how to appease my girlfriend. I invited you to the party so you could lighten the fuck up. I love you, I do, but I'm not thinking of marriage and futures. I'm thinking about my life right now and having fun.” Harry snapped right back at her. Her chin wobbled. Obviously her and Harry were on different pages. It hurt so much to hear him say that he didn't want a future with her. Harry didn't mean it though.
“Ok, well I guess that's my fault for assuming we were thinking along the same lines. Um, I don't want to hold you back from being yourself so with that being said, you are a free man Harry.” She pushed herself up from her bed walking to the door ready to escort Harry out.
“Huh? Love, what?” Harry was confused on how they got to this point. Just a few days ago they were in love, meeting in the library to share a lunch and exchanging sweet words determined by their love.
“Listen I have a day full of exams tomorrow so if you could just leave that would be best. You don't really want this so I'm letting you go, Harry.” She had tears rolling down her face, falling from her eyes down to her chin where they fell to the ground in droplets. Harry’s eyes welled up watching his love cry before him.
“I don't-”
“Harry, leave, please.” She opened the door making room for him to go through. He walked through the door turning to look at her. She turned her face away from him whispering a small goodbye before shutting the door. Harry was left in the silent hallway, so silent he could hear his thoughts and the tears hitting the tile floor beneath him. He thinks he stood there for at least thirty more minutes before accepting what had happened and walking away.
Leaving Y/N in her room sobbing like she had never done before. Her tears coated her face and she thought her head could explode right then and there. She didn't want to accept what had happened but she had priorities. She composed herself enough to start studying for her exams.
The week rolled by quickly, Monday meeting Friday in a flash. Exams were done and Christmas break was on the horizon. Students were piling off of campus in a hurry ready to get home to their loved ones. People were outside by cars loading up their winter necessaries and saying their goodbyes to their close friends.
Harry cried everyday this week. He wasn't normally a crier. He hated crying, he hated the feeling of crying and the headache that came from it. He cried because he realized how wrong he was. He missed Y/N. He missed finals week dinner together where they tried to get off campus at least once and be alone for a moment. He missed watching her relax while eating food that wasn't from their school's cafeteria. He would pay for their meal just so she could have one less thing to worry about. They would normally get frozen yogurt right after too, Y/N getting as many toppings as she wanted because Harry would be the one paying. He missed her tight after exam hugs. She would squeeze his shoulders tight, smiling into his neck, telling him how proud she was of him. She would bring him tea in the morning when they met for breakfast. Sometimes they would spend the night in one or the others room so they could have time together to destress and just talk.
Y/N wasn't doing any better. She normally went into exam week feeling confident. She studied too hard not to. But this week she felt like shit. Her heart hurt and she kept thinking about the fight. She feels like she overreacted but hearing Harry talk about their lack of a future hurt nonetheless. She really assumed that they did have a future that included marriage and a life together. She didn't understand where his sudden lack of commitment came from. She regretted dumping him but at the same time she wished he did more to get them back together but he was silent. He hasn't contacted her at all and avoided all of their spots on campus all together.
She stood by her car prepping for her six hours car ride back home. Packing away her clothes and some essentials in the trunk of her car, she heard light footsteps behind her. Closing her trunk she turned to see Harry standing with his hands in his pockets.  
“Hi.” He said. She looked at him, putting her own hands in her pockets. It was cold outside, the nippy air hinting at a possibility of snow.
“Hi Harry.” They shared a moment of silence together. Just staring at each other. It felt good to be near each other again. They felt like they could breathe again.
“I had to see you before you left. I know the break is only a month but I didn't want to leave without seeing you.” He replied quietly. She made him feel so shy. Her beauty always made him awestruck. Even in a hoodie with their college's logo and some large sweatpants and some fuzzy crocs, she was the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
“I don't know what to say harry.”
“It's ok. I don't deserve anything from you after what I said. I just wanted to apologize and wish you a good break before you left. I also wanted to give you this.” He pulled a small box and envelope out of the front pocket of his backpack. “I know we agreed on no presents but I think thats a dumb rule and I love you too much to not get you something.” She smiled at his words, taking the gift from his hands.
“Thank you Harry, it means a lot to me. So what are your plans for a break?” She asked him, the tension that was in the air slowly dissipating.
“I couldn't get a flight home until next wednesday so i'll stay here on campus until then.” He shrugged.
“Oh ok. Well tell Anne I said hi. I have to go Harry but I'll see you after the break, ok?” She didn't want to leave him but she didn't want to drive through the dark.
“Ok, love. Drive safe. I lov- I mean have a good break.” Her chest tightened at his hesitation. She wants to hear him say the words but she knows he won't.
“Have a good break Harry.” She whispered. Before getting in her car she stood on her toes placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. Rubbing her thumb across his cheek and turning away and into her car.
She drove away knowing that her heart was left in that parking lot in the hands of someone she loves way too much.
Harry stood in the parking lot watching his heart drive away for winter wanting nothing more than to be with her.
Part two
409 notes · View notes
infernwetrust · 3 years
Text
Eden’s Prodigal Son Part 1- To Find Solace In [Andy Dolan x Reader]
Part 2 Part 3 Part 4
Summary: You weren't sure what kept you coming back to Andy Dolan. All you knew was that you kept coming back. And it only got worse before it got better.
Warnings: swearing, the smallest amount of domestic violence, almost smut, drug use, fluff, angst
WC: 1.8k
A/N: After finishing up Eden this past week, I thought maybe I could create some insight about a version of Andy Dolan before the extreme downward spiral. Don’t know how long I’ll make the series, though. Thank you for reading!  -Juno
GIF by kissxmedeadly
Tumblr media
“So now what?" you questioned as you stared into Andy's orbs underneath the Eden sunset.
"Now you go and explore all that Eden has to offer." he responded, moving a strand of hair out of your face and wiping away your tears. "I won't be away that long. I promise. This.. this might be the only chance I get you know... to be somebody."
You knew how much this meant to Andy. He wasn't in acting school for long before he was quickly pulled out of the crowd. And now he had a shot to run straight into it with the big boys and what type of friend would you of been to stop him?
"Los Angeles is kind of far, y'know?" You grabbed the hand the wiped away your tears, kissing him in his palm. "We've been together our whole lives Andy, I-,"
"Please don't, Y/N." His voice cracked. He threw his arms around you, engulfing you in a tight hug. The two of you swayed back and forth and you let the tears fall. "Only half a year. I promise."
"Half a year is too long, y'know?"
Andy chuckled, burying his face into the crook of your neck as he also let his tears flow. And that was the last image you would have of Andy Dolan, in person, for the next 6 months. You watched his life through social media. The increase in popularity came with the increase in distance. What became calls and video chats every day slowly became just quick check ins every couple of days. It was safe to say that you were missing Andy, but was he exactly missing you?
*** "Look what yesterday's storm brought in." Your best friend and basically your sister, pointed out to you. You looked over your shoulder and there he was. Andy Dolan, in the flesh, after 6 months, like he had promised. And it might of been the only promise he kept.
You were upset. Oh you were very upset. But for a moment, you pushed those feelings to the side and you stood up from the rock you were sitting on and you ran. You ran as fast as your legs would carry you and straight into Andy's arms.
"I hope half a year... wasn't too long." he spoke in your ear, wrapping his arms around your body and holding you up. He smelled strictly of bourbon cologne, with a slight hint of whiskey on his breath, the last two scents you smelled of Andy before the two of you went your separate ways.
"You're such a fucking asshole, Andy Dolan."
"There's my girl."
"You made-,"
"So many promises I didn't keep. I know. But I'm home now, yeah? Maybe you can stay with me for a while?"
"Stay with you?
*** "All this after 6 months?" you questioned as Andy walked you around his brand new luxury home. These were the things you and Andy would spend a lot of summer nights discussing. His warm smile and throaty laugh gave you comfort during those nights. You'd lay out underneath the stars in whatever random field you decided to take Andy to for the night. The conversations seemed endless and the jokes poured out of Andy like a running faucet. He was, your, safety zone. And while he would never admit it, you were his too.
"Ben had to pull a few extra strings, but yeah." He rocked back and forth on his heels, shoving his hands in his pockets, glancing you over before taking in the scene of his very open backyard. "All this after 6 months."
"Wow. Famous actor Andy Dolan wants me to stay with him in his big house, with his big back yard, and his personal attendants." you teased, sauntering back over to Andy, taking your time to fix his slightly messy shirt collar. He was beaming and you were proud of him.  
"So I'm assuming that's a yes? You'll have your own room and-,"
"Hush, Andy Dolan." You brought your finger to his lips, ultimately silencing him. Taking his hand, you walked him out into the heart of his backyard, taking a seat in the grass and encouraging him to do the same. He was reluctant at first, but he finally took a seat, pulling one knee up to his chest.
"Remember when we would just-,"
"Sit underneath the sunrise, the sunset, and the stars." The both of you finished the sentence together.
"In nothing but absolute silence." Andy continued. "And we'd watch the birds go by or listen to the sound of the water crashing against the rocks or sand. Yeah, I do remember." Andy swallowed, looking down at his fingers idly. He remembers it all too well for his own comfort.
"Good. Because it's about that time."
*** "We can't..." you breathed out, wanting to get Andy's lips off of your neck, wanting to get him from between your legs. You wanted to pretend like you didn't want it, that you didn't want him, but that simply was just not the case. But underneath the circumstances, you knew it was wrong. Your legs, however, would not ease up their grip around his waist, furthering pressing him into you.
"Says who?" Andy slurred, his tongue sloppily tracing patterns over the hickey he had left on your neck.
"We're drunk Andy. And I won't remember. And I want to remember, Andy. I want to remember this." You raised his head up, giving him a few quick pecks on his lips that transitioned into a slow make out. "I really want to, but we both know that isn't the smartest decision right now." He nodded against your lips, settling for the kiss and a heavy ache between his legs.
"You alright in there, mate?" Ben asked, knocking loudly on the door over the loud party music. This caused Andy to groan, sighing as he pulled his lips away from yours, noses still touching as he slightly glanced towards the door.
"I'm fucking coming, mate!" Andy yelled back, slurring the entire sentence. "Just give me a fucking minute."
"Come on." You giggled, sitting up and helping Andy up. "Let's get situated and go back to your house warming party, hm?"
*** "Y/N." Ben began, as he lit the cigarette that was placed between Andy's lips. "She's something of a real beauty isn't she?"
The question made Andy's ears burn. He didn't even bother to turn his head to take a look at Ben. He stared straight out, past the handful of people in his pool. He was suppose to be having a good time at his house warming party, but all he could think about was you. He wanted to do his rounds and be social. He wanted to dance and to laugh, but he was only ever concerned about... you.
While Ben was a good agent, and an okay friend, more often than not he never knew when to stop talking. An already intoxicated Andy was already holding every one on thin ice. And of course Ben would be the first person of the night to put a crack in that ice.
"I don't really know what you're fucking expecting me to say to that, Ben." Andy spoke, bluntly, taking a drag of his cigarette. With every single word that Ben spoke, Andy's jaw clenched involuntarily.
"I'm just saying, yeah." he continued, missing Andy's social cue entirely. "Lucky to have a broad that's-,"
And that's all it took for Andy to snap. He gave it no second thoughts before he stood up, angling his body to punch Ben straight across his jaw. The feeling of blood splattering across his fist was cooling to his knuckles. He took one more drag of his cigarette, watching as Ben fell over and onto the floor before blowing the smoke out of his nose.
"You know, Ben." Andy spat, peering down at the man he's known for almost his entire life. "Things would really work out in your favor if you would just learn to shut the fuck up."
"Andy!" you shouted as you ran outside, just so happening to see from inside as you shared a drink with Hedwig. She followed close behind you, offering any support that she could.
Andy looked behind his shoulder at the both of you, tossing his cigarette into the pool and shaking the left over wet blood off of his hand. He didn't say anything, but instead began to walk away towards the hidden entry way to his backyard.
"Andy!" you called out for him again, chasing behind him. When you finally caught up to him, you grabbed him by his arm in an attempt to slow him down.
"Get the fuck off me." He growled, snatching his arm away from you. You were confused. One moment you were in his room coming to an agreement on why the two of you shouldn't have drunk sex and now he's flipped the script after punching Ben.
"Andy. Tell me what is wrong." you begged, not bothering to even try to create any distance between the two of you.
"I shouldn't have come back home. I shouldn't have let you stayed." he began, throwing his hands up in the air before resting them on the top of his head. He was sweating, pupils dilated, and his face was turning red and you automatically knew he wasn't in a good spot, physically or mentally. "I shouldn't have fucking kissed you. I'm going to do nothing, but hurt you Y/N." He started backing away, still facing you and Hedwig as he spoke.
Andy Dolan was falling faster for you than he wanted to, IF he ever wanted to. He took what Ben said, to heart and that drove him absolutely fucking insane. That's just not who Andy Dolan was. He didn't fall first. The girls fell for him. Of course he loved Y/N, but he didn't believe in "falling in love". But here he was, falling in love with the one person he told himself that was off limits from his childish behavior.
"An-... what? Andy what?"
"Just let me go.." he growled again. "Just fucking let me go." You reached out, grabbing him again, but without thinking he shoved you into the grass, just wanting to get away.
"Hey!" Fred's voice echoed throughout the backyard as he ran towards the commotion. Andy, realizing what he did, and although you understood, took the opportunity to take off like he was wanting. You called out for him again, wanting to get up and go after him, but Hedwig stopped you.
"Just let him go." she said, wrapping her arms around you as she sat you up, moving your hair out of your face.
"What the fuck was that?" Fred questioned Andy's actions, kneeling down beside you. "You alright?"  But you couldn't speak. You shook intensely in your best friend's arms, tears flowing freely down your face. You thought everything was okay. You thought that maybe you and Andy could have something better. So what was the issue?
Solace (n): comfort or consolation in a time of distress or sadness
Taglist: @jimmason @angelicmichael @codyfernuk @9layerdevilfoodcake @xavierplympton @ferndolan @dorklydefined
74 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
Our Last Summer - B. Boeser
A/N: just a girl who thought she’d try writing for a different player. Shocking, I know. Also this is an OC and I love her, enjoy!
Yes, after the ABBA song. Also shoutout to my least favourite Taurus @brockadoodles for convincing me to follow through with writing and posting this and being an A+ beta reader always.
Word Count: 9.2k
To Brock, summer was the best time of year. As much as he loved hockey season, summer gave him the chance to unwind, relax and spend time with his friends and family. It also allowed him to be at one of his favourite places all the time, the lake. 
The lake was a sanctuary of sorts for him, his little piece of paradise. Even before he moved to Vancouver, he spent every summer there, which is why he ended up buying a home on that lake to spend his off-seasons in. It also happened to be where he got to see Lennon—the only place. 
Brock and Lennon first met almost ten years ago. Right away, Brock could tell that she wasn't from the area based on her lack of a so-called Minnesotan accent but eventually learned how her family started vacationing on the lake the same year they were both turning fourteen. 
Lennon's family has been back every year since. How she and Brock first crossed paths was on the beach one fateful afternoon at the end of June. Brock was standing in line behind her, waiting to buy a bottle of water while she ordered ice cream from the man operating the little stand. Once Lennon was handed her snack, she turned around and went to walk away but didn't realize Brock was standing right there and ended up knocking into him, which resulted in her ice cream spilling down the front of the t-shirt he wore. She quickly grabbed some napkins and tried to clean up the mess she made all over him, but he just laughed it off and told her it was fine. 
The two of them parted ways after that, not thinking much of the interaction and didn't cross paths again until the following summer. When they did meet again, it was on that same beach, at the same ice cream stand, but Lennon didn't spill anything that time. Instead, the pair just stared at each other as they were both hit by the most intense wave of deja vu either of them had ever experienced. After that initial shock, they talked and properly introduced themselves because what were the chances they'd run into each other again. After commenting on how he assumed Lennon wasn't from there, Brock learned that she only came to Minnesota in the summertime with her parents and twin brother because her dad was from there and her parents owned a lake house they wanted to retire to one day. It was one of Lennon's favourite places to be and had her looking forward to summer every year because of it. 
That summer, Brock and Lennon saw each other on multiple occasions after the run-in on the beach, and a friendship gradually began. That friendship only grew with each summer that passed as Brock's friends became Lennon's friends too after being invited to hang out with them as they went boating, jet skiing, exploring and had bonfires each night. These activities made Lennon's summers even more memorable than before. 
However, as they got older, things began to change. 
The summer before Lennon turned 19 was the last summer she spent entirely at the lake for a few years. Brock had already turned 19 that February, and Lennon would be doing the same in early November. However, that fall, she began going to university and spent the summers working. Lennon didn't get as much time off but still managed to squeeze in at least two weeks at the lake to spend with her family, friends, and, of course, Brock. 
Four years later, once Lennon graduated from her bachelor's program, she returned to the lake for the whole summer. Lennon also mainly spent that summer with Brock as he sat with her for hours while she applied to various jobs in her field and did phone interviews with possible employers. It was odd for him, though, because it wasn't until then, Brock realized how even though he felt like he knew Lennon very well, he hardly knew anything about her life outside of the lake. Sure, he knew that she took English and Literature at university, but he didn't know what school she attended. He also didn't know where her family lived the rest of the year. Brock only knew Lennon and summer. 
There was a massive disconnect between the two of them when they weren't in their little summer bubble. Brock and Lennon didn't speak when they weren't at the lake. They had each other's phone numbers, but the thought of using it while he was in Vancouver felt foreign, and although Lennon did cross his mind, he knew the two of them would pick up where they left off like they did every summer once both of them returned to the lake. 
That's what happened last summer too. Brock and Lennon were reunited on her first day back and spent almost every day together, seeing as it had been four years since the last full summer she spent in Minnesota. It was a summer to remember for sure. They somehow became even closer, which naturally led to them feeling a sense of dread as the days became shorter and summer gradually came to an end. 
But, everything became ruined when Brock and Lennon slept together on her last night at the lake. Then Brock woke up to a cold and empty space next to where he laid in his bed the morning after. 
The piece of him that Brock didn't realize Lennon had a hold on broke that morning. She left him feeling hurt and confused. He texted her, but she didn't reply. Then when he took his jet ski out on the water and rode by her family's house, only to see it completely dark and no cars in the driveway, he knew summer was officially over and that he wouldn't hear from her again. 
That is why he was looking forward to this summer. There was no guarantee he'd be seeing Lennon. He didn't know what had gone in her life over the past ten months but was sure he'd get filled in on it once he saw her family, but he had this unexplainable feeling that she was going to be there, and that was enough to get him nervous. However, Brock was still excited even with those nerves because his summer just wasn't complete without Lennon in it. Regardless of how the two felt towards each other.  
Brock's first day back consisted of getting everything ready, and the house opened up for the season. With his roommates and family's help, the boat was launched into the water and docked, so were the jet skis, and everything just slowly fell into place. The only thing missing was Lennon.
However, he tried not to think of things like that. He was convinced he'd get some closure about what happened between the two of them last summer, but when he casually brought her up in conversation, no one knew if she was back or not. Lennon's family was at the lake, everyone knew that much, but no one had seen her yet, which made Brock feel a little less hopeful. 
Once everything at the house was finished getting ready, all of his company stayed for dinner but then headed back to their own homes, his roommates included. They'd be back on the weekend and be staying there for good afterwards, but for the next few days, it would just be Brock and his dogs, which was fine by him.  
After everyone left, Brock headed out to the back yard, letting Milo and Coolie run around for a bit before going back inside for the night. The sun was setting, leaving warm pink and orange trails of light chasing after it while slowly disappearing in the distance. A few boats still drove around on the water, finishing up their rounds before it got too dark. Brock could also hear chatter from somewhere nearby where he assumed people were outside having a bonfire or just socializing as they enjoyed what was bound to be a beautiful evening. 
Brock then wandered to the edge of his dock and sat down, letting his legs hang off the side then swaying them slightly as he continued taking it all in. Not too long after, Coolie joined him as he took up the spot next to him and rested his head on Brock's lap while looking out at the water as well. Meanwhile, Milo continued wading in the water, ready to attack any fish that dared come near him. 
About ten minutes later, after Milo had gone up onto the dock as well, Brock spotted a boat heading towards him. As the boat got closer to shore, he could hear the familiar voice of Wesley Schultz as a song by The Lumineers played and watched as the boat slowed down then took a wide right turn before coming to a stop about 20 feet from the edge of his dock. Confused, Brock looked around for someone else because surely whoever was on the boat wasn't stopping to talk to him. But then he remembered that he was at his own house and that there was no other explanation for what was going on. 
"Hey!" A voice greeted over the music, then a man, who Brock assumed was around the same age as him, came into view. He had dark brown hair that wasn't quite as long as Brock's but still long enough to noticeably be pushed back away from his face with a pair of sunglasses and wore only a pair of green swim trunks and an unzipped white sweater. "So you're the person who lives here. I'm Max. My family just bought a house around the bend over there. It's nice to meet you."
"Oh, cool!" Brock responded, a wave of relief washing over him as he realized the guy was just being friendly. "Nice to meet you too. I'm Brock. I live here with a few friends, but it's just me here right now. I'm sure you'll see the others around soon. Have you been to the lake before?"
"No, this is my first summer here," Max explained and smiled. "But, I know someone who's been coming here for a while and told me all about it. I must say, it's living up to its hype."
"Your friend sounds like they know what they're talking about," Brock chuckled, then heard a voice say something from where they must've been sitting out of sight on the boat. But what really surprised him the way Coolie perked up at the voice and caused a low whine to leave his mouth. 
"Yeah, I'd say she does," Max replied, then leaned to the side and looked down into the boat's cabin. "She's right here actually, said it was too cold then went inside—Babe, wanna come say hi to my new neighbour? Maybe the two of you know each other."
The thought of how Brock might know the other person on the boat made sense, he knew the area so well and had met lots of people over the years, but that still didn't prepare him for the way he felt once Lennon stepped into view. 
"Lemon?" 
Brock's nickname for her fell from lips so quickly as he took her in, he didn't even have to think about it. Lennon's deep brown hair was longer than it was the last time Brock had seen her, that much he could tell even in the messy fishtail braid she had it in. Usually, Lennon liked to cut her hair going into the summer because she always complained about how hot it made her feel whenever it was down and not being held back with the hair tie that usually resided on her wrist. 
He then took in the rest of her appearance. She wore bright yellow crocs, a pair of white terry cloth shorts and a baggy pullover that had Minnesota written in a large yellow font across it as well. Brock recognized the sweater because it belonged to him until the last night of the previous summer. 
It was a simple look, but to Brock, Lennon still seemed stunning in the evening glow surrounding her. 
That was when Coolie stood up and barked, snapping Brock out of the trance he'd fallen into upon seeing Lennon again. Coolie recognized her. That much was evident with how he whined and started wagging his tail just at the sight of her, Milo joining in soon after. 
"Hi Coolie, hi Milo," Lennon spoke softly and smiled at the two dogs, making Brock feel as if he walked into a brick wall just by hearing her voice again. 
"Oh, you two do know each other!" Max exclaimed, snapping Brock back to reality once again. 
Then Lennon looked Brock in the eyes for the first time, and her smile fell slightly. 
"I guess you could say that," she stated, not breaking eye contact. "Hey, Brock."
"H-hey," was all he could reply with, still recovering from the initial shock of how Lennon, the person he spent the last ten months thinking about, was finally standing in front of him again, but with another guy. "You're back."
"Yeah, I am," she nodded, then looked back at Max. "We should probably get going, though. It's getting dark."
"You're right," Max agreed. "I'm sure I'll be seeing you around, Brock. Have a good night."
"Uh, yeah, you too," Brock responded, whispering almost as he observed Max start the boat back up and begin driving off. 
He watched the two of them go, refusing to take his eyes off of Lennon, which was how he didn't miss the way she looked back at him too or how she didn't look away until the boat rounded the bend and disappeared out of sight yet again. 
~*~
About a week went by before Brock saw Lennon again, and he hated it. He saw her family, who all asked when he'd be stopping by again. But Brock didn't know how to explain that he and Lennon had barely spoken or the reason behind it all. It then got worse when his parents came over that weekend and told him how they ran into her while they were at the store and that she seemed to be doing well.
It sucked for him because all he wanted to do was talk, but he knew Lennon. And he knew that if she wanted to talk, she would. However, it was clear that she didn't, so Brock didn't push her into talking with him regardless of how badly he wanted to. 
The thought of just messaging Lennon and asking her to come over crossed his mind many times that week, but he couldn't bring himself to send the text he typed out and would end up deleting it instead. His summer was already off to a very different start than he was hoping for. 
One day, while he was out boating with some of his friends, things started to change again. 
After being out on the water for most of the day, Brock and his friends all decided to dock the boat at the marina near, of course, the beach that Brock couldn't step foot on without thinking about Lennon. Once he saw that beach, he was reminded of how much time he and Lennon spent there together over the years since first meeting. Brock would've been lying if he said he didn't want to run into her again on that same beach, but he tried not to get his hopes up. 
However, to his luck, Lennon was walking along the dock at the marina the same time Brock was hopping off the boat to help tie it up. Brock spotted her first, but she was busy scrolling through her phone, her eyebrows furrowed with an unreadable expression on her face as she did so, and she didn't notice Brock or the others as she continued walking towards them, but then came to an abrupt stop. 
Whatever Lennon was looking at on her phone seemed important, and Brock didn't want to interrupt, but then one of his friends, who also knew Lennon, spotted her. 
"Lenny!" Sam exclaimed as he brushed past Brock, making Lennon jump, but still, smile once she saw who was approaching her and accepted the hug she was about to be pulled into. "You're back!"
"Lennon's here?" Someone else asked, and soon enough, everyone who Brock was with rushed by him to see their friend. 
"Hey, guys!" She greeted happily, a much different mood than how her reunion with Brock was a week prior. 
"Are you here all summer?" 
"I am," Lennon confirmed, still smiling. 
"That's awesome," said Claire, Sam's girlfriend. "We've been waiting to see when you'd get here. We missed you! Is Mick here too?"
"Yeah, he is," Lennon responded, letting the group know that her brother had returned to the lake as well. "He's at the house right now helping my dad get the new barbecue set up. I was sent here to pick up things to get grilled tonight."
She then held up the plastic bag she was carrying for emphasis, earning chuckles from the rest of the group. 
"Well, we won't keep you then," stated one of Brock's roommates. "But come over to the house soon, and we'll all hang out."
"Sounds like a plan. I'll see you guys later!"
Everyone said goodbye to Lennon, then continued on their way, but Brock stayed back. She still hadn't noticed him, and he didn't want her to feel cornered by him, especially around their friends, but he needed to talk to her. Just the two of them.
He observed her as she watched their friends walk down the dock, taking in the jean shorts and mint green tank top she wore, then cleared his throat, making Lennon snap her attention in his direction and not missing the way her eyes widened as she did so. 
"Hey, Lemon," he greeted her and felt an instant wave of relief wash over him while he saw her expression soften as he said that. 
"You're never going to drop that nickname, are you?" She asked while shaking her head and smiling.
Brock pursed his lips and looked away from her as if he was deeply considering her question but couldn't help the small laugh that left his mouth as he did. 
"No, I don't think I can."
"Right. Whatever you say, Broccoli."
At that, Brock's grin grew much wider. Hearing Lennon call him the nickname she's always said in response to him calling her, Lemon, hit differently this time because, although he knew things weren't normal between them, it almost seemed like it was. But, it was short-lived because his nagging thoughts about the girl standing in front of him started creeping back, making his smile falter a little bit. 
"Brock?" Lennon asked, noticing how he was getting too deep in his thoughts. Something she knew he did often. "You ok?"
"Yeah," he replied and shook his head slightly. "I was just thinking. Um, listen, can we talk? You know, about… everything?"
Lennon let out a sigh, knowing this conversation needed to happen between the two of them, but still not sure if she was ready to have it just yet. "I don't know what to say."
"Me neither, to be honest. But maybe we can start with what happened last summer and how you're seeing someone else now?"
"Brock, me and you aren't in a relationship. You can’t corner me like that. I don't owe you an explanation."
"Lennon, that's not fair and you know that’s not what I’m doing," he stated. "I'm not saying you have to explain yourself. That's your business, whether I like it or not. But, I would like to know where we stand because I have thought about you every day for the past ten months and seeing you on that boat last week sucked. I was caught off guard, but that doesn't matter. I just miss my friend and don't want this summer to be weird because we slept together when clearly it didn't mean anything."
Once Brock finished his spiel, Lennon took a shaky breath then let her gaze fall to the ground, knowing he had a point. 
"I'm sorry," she spoke softly. "You're right, it's not fair, and I'm also sorry for just leaving you last year. But Brock, I don't know what to tell you right now because I know it's not going to be what you want to hear."
"The least you could do, as my friend, is tell me why. Why did you leave and act as though nothing happened between us and avoid me completely?"
"I panicked, ok!"
"About what?" Brock questioned, feeling even more lost than before. "Len, what are you talking about?"
“Because Brock, before we slept together, it was just you and the lake,” she explained. “It was easy. It was like we lived separate lives, and that worked until they crossed paths again in the summertime. Maybe having sex messed that up, but I don’t want it to. I want things back to the way they were.”
“Why do we have to live separate lives outside of the lake? You’re one of my best friends. I would love to share all of my life with you. But I feel like I know nothing about you.”
“Why now, though? Why didn’t you want me to be part of your life or know more about mine away from here before last summer?”
“I never said I didn’t!” He stated firmly and stressfully pushed his hand through his hair. “That’s just always been how we worked. How can you expect me to know that was something you wanted when you didn’t express it either, Lennon? But I will say this; I care about you. I have feelings for you, alright? If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked you to stay over on that night last summer. That all seems pretty irrelevant now, though.”
"I-," Lennon started but had to stop as a voice cut her off. 
"There she is," Max said as he and another guy that Brock didn't recognize approached them. "And Brock! Good to see you again."
"Uh, yeah," Brock replied hesitantly, suddenly not knowing what to say as he watched Max casually walk up and wrap his arm around Lennon's waist. "You too."
"Did we interrupt something?" Max asked while glancing at the other guy he was with, then moved his gaze between Brock and Lennon. 
"No," Brock spoke and looked Lennon dead in the eye. "I guess we're done talking. I'll see you guys around."
"Brock, wait," Lennon said and pulled away from Max as Brock walked past them. 
"Just like you, I don’t know what else to say, Lennon. Say hi to your family for me."
And with that, Lennon was left watching Brock leave her behind this time.
Later that evening, Brock was at home with his roommates, putting some plates into the dishwasher after they were all finished eating when Milo and Coolie started barking like crazy. He wasn't sure what was going on and looked at the rest of the guys, who all shrugged in response, then went over to the glass sliding door the dogs were standing in front of and saw what had them acting the way they were. 
Outside he saw a woman hopping off a jetski, then watched as she pulled it up to the small shore that met his property. Once she was sure the jetski was beached enough and took off her lifejacket, she walked up the slope that led to the rest of the lawn, then walked across the grass onto the dock before sitting down at the edge of it and facing the water like she owned the place. It didn't take long for Brock to realize the girl was Lennon. 
He then looked back at his roommates, all of who were watching him intently, almost as if they knew this was coming, but they all quickly looked away and pretended to be busy looking at something else. Brock rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. He didn't want to give them the satisfaction of a response, so instead, he stayed silent and opened the door so he could step outside. 
Milo and Coolie continued barking as Brock slipped by them but didn't let them outside with him. He knew that Lennon wouldn't have just shown up unannounced after the talk they had earlier that day unless she really needed to get something off her chest, and Brock wanted to hear what she had to say without any interruption. 
Lennon didn't look back as he walked across the grass and onto the dock. It was like she knew he'd join her regardless of how rough things may have seemed between them. And she would've been right for assuming that. As much as Brock wanted to be mad at Lennon, it still seemed like magnets pulled him towards her, and it just wasn't possible for him to fight. 
Brock didn't say anything as he sat down next to his friend, just joined her in silence while they both looked out over the water and observed the sun as it began its descent in the late evening sky, but he couldn't keep himself from observing Lennon out of the corner of his eye and taking in how she looked. 
Her hair wasn't tied back or anything. It just fell down her back in loose natural waves that shifted ever so slightly whenever there was a breeze. She wore a faded red Beatles pullover, which was somewhat ironic seeing as she was named after one of the band's members, making Brock smile because that was just a very Lennon thing to do. The sweater was paired with some jean shorts and Nike slides, but what caught his attention the most was her eyes. Lennon had light brown eyes that Brock thought were stunning all the time, but when the sun hit them just right, like it did in that moment, they seemed golden almost, and it was so hard to look away. He's always loved her eyes. 
However, his moment of observing her in silence was cut short when she let out a sigh and then glanced towards him. 
"New York," Lennon stated, earning herself a confused look from Brock. 
"New York?" He asked, genuinely unsure of what she was implying. "Lennon-."
"That's where I'm from," she elaborated, then looked from him to the water again. "Upstate New York, to be exact, near the Buffalo area. My birthday is November 2nd. I was actually born in Minneapolis, but my parents moved when me and Mick were about ten months old for work and I hadn’t been back until they bought the lake house. Uh, when my parents found out my mom was pregnant, they thought they were expecting twin boys at first. They wanted to name me John after the Beatles still and then Michael after Mick Jagger, but when I came out a girl, they had to improvise."
Brock was speechless. He was so shocked. Lennon was telling him everything that he's always wondered about her and then some. He was intrigued, and there was no way he would stop her from sharing whatever she wanted to say.
"As you know, I took English and Literature in university," she continued. "I took that program at NYU and have been living in New York City for the past five years because of it. I have a freelancing job, which has been paying the bills. I've also spent the last month and a half applying to various master's programs at different schools, and it's been pretty discouraging if I'm completely honest. Since moving to NYC, I've made many trips to Toronto to visit Mick, seeing as that's where he went to school, but coming back to the lake each summer remains my favourite place to be, and you are a huge part of why Brock."
"Lemon, I didn't know any of this," he replied, shaking his head as he still processed everything she said. 
"I know, that's why I'm telling you."
"Wow, I, I don't even know what to say. I've always wondered these things about you, but other than seeing you here; you've always been like a blank slate to me. I've known you for so long now, but I've never known so much about you. I just figured you never really wanted me to be part of your life outside of summer, y'know?"
"Yeah, about that," Lennon started and let out a small laugh. "That is so incorrect. You don't even know."
"What do you mean?" Brock questioned, feeling puzzled by her again.
"My friends in New York are huge into sports," she explained. "I can't even begin to explain how many times I've been dragged to a Yankees or Knicks game, but when it comes to the Rangers, I always look forward to it a bit more. They're not my team, I've got to give props to the Sabres for the hometown representation, and because of Mick, I started not entirely hating the Leafs. What always surprises my friends, though, is how adamant I get about going to the Rangers games whenever Vancouver is in the city. But I haven't told them I have a friend that plays on the team. They just think it's odd that I have a Boeser jersey."
"Woah, wait a minute. You've seen me play hockey?"
"Every time you've been in New York since starting with the Canucks, yeah."
"Lennon, what the hell?" He asked disbelievingly. "Why didn't you ever say anything?"
Lennon just shrugged before responding. "Like I said earlier today, Brock, it's always been you and the lake. I thought about messaging you but then figured you might not want me to and chickened myself out, so I never did. I don't know why I didn't just reach out, but now you know. So, please, never assume that I don't think about you when I'm not here. Because I do, all the damn time. And what happened between us last summer did mean something to me. You are way too important for it to not. I could never consider you as just a random hookup, Broccoli."
Brock could feel his heart swell an insane amount as she said that, but before he could say what he really wanted to in response, he needed to know something still. 
"What about Max?"
"Max is not my boyfriend," she stated, not missing a beat. "He's one of my best friends from school, yeah, but we are not together. He's from Minneapolis, which was how we actually bonded when we first met after telling him my dad was from this area. And let me tell you, I've told him if I'm still single by 40, we're getting married, but I don't think that'll be happening. He's very happy with his boyfriend, Connor, who was on the dock with us earlier, and I would've happily introduced you to if you hadn't stormed away before I got the chance."
"For fucks sake," Brock said, not being able to stop himself from grinning at how stupidly he overreacted. "I am so bad for jumping to conclusions, aren't I?"
"You always have been."
They laughed together as Lennon nudged him with her shoulder teasingly, then a comfortable silence fell amongst them again. However, it didn't last too long because Lennon was speaking again soon after. 
"I really am sorry for just leaving you last summer," she told him softly. "It's just- I knew I was going back to New York, and I figured it'd be easier if we didn't talk about what happened for both of us. I shouldn't have assumed that. It wasn't fair to you. But, I also have spent the last ten months thinking about you constantly. I like you too, Brock, more than I can explain, and I just feel stupidly vulnerable admitting that, but I'd be lying to myself if I said I didn't have feelings for you that weren't entirely platonic. I don't expect things between us to be like they were last summer, but I missed you a whole freaking lot this past year and will be glad to have my best friend back."
"I would love nothing more than for that to happen," Brock responded and waited for her to look at him again before continuing. "Maybe we can; I don't know, take things slow? We can see what happens over the summer, what it all leads to and you know, actually talk after. I also want to know as much about you as I can, but only if you'll let me.”
"Please. And yes, I'll tell you whatever it is you want to know. I want to get to know more about you too if that's ok."
"Of course it is, I'd like that," he replied before falling silent again as his gaze dropped to her lips. Brock was overcome with the urge to close the already small space between him and Lennon by kissing her, but he didn't. Although he was pretty sure she wouldn't necessarily be opposed to him doing that, he didn't want to fuck this up by rushing into anything again. She, too, was way more than just a hookup to him and Brock wanted to make sure she knew that. "Will you stay over tonight?"
Lennon's eyes widened in surprise at Brock's question, but she quickly realized he wasn't trying to make a move. He just wanted to spend more time with her, and honestly, she loved the idea of just hanging out with him all night.
"Yes, absolutely," she stated. "I'll also never say no to Milo and Coolie snugs."
"Good, because I'm pretty sure I can still hear Coolie whining over the fact that he can't come out here and see you."
The two of them laughed, then stayed sitting together for a few more moments before Brock eventually stood and helped Lennon up, then made their way back to the house together.
~*~
Although nothing intimate happened that night between Brock and Lennon, aside from some cuddling as they both fell asleep in his bed, it set the pace for the rest of their summer. The two, once again, became inseparable. 
The next few weeks went by very quickly, and everything was great. Lennon was over at Brock’s all the time, and he made sure to go over to her family’s house and visit with them lots too. Things were normal again. There was no tension as they hung out with all their friends. Brock even got to know Max a bit better, who, to Brock, ended up being a really cool guy. It was nice for him to hear more stories about Lennon’s life outside of the lake, and Brock loved every minute of it. 
However, as good as things were with the two of them while keeping their relationship platonic, there was no denying both Brock and Lennon had intense feelings for each other. 
From an outside perspective, it was apparent how much those two cared for each other, and it was often shown in the little things. It was gestures like Brock pulling Lennon onto his lap and wrapping her up in the blanket he had with him while having a bonfire. Or the time Lennon briefly gave Brock his Minnesota sweater back for a few hours while he was over at her house because she wanted it to smell like him again. It was so obvious the two of them had a thing. And yet, nothing more happened between them. They were both afraid that it may get fucked up again, which neither wanted. Especially with how fast summer seemed to pass by. 
One Friday afternoon in late July, things hit a rough patch again. 
Brock and Lennon were at his place, hanging out on the stairs of the back deck with Milo and Coolie, when Lennon dropped the bomb about having to leave the lake in the upcoming days. 
Understandably, Brock was confused. He knew that he’d have to return to Vancouver in a few weeks to get ready for training camp and the upcoming season with the Canucks, but Brock thought he still had a few weeks left with Lennon at least. Brock took the news pretty well, but when he asked her why, feeling like he could after the talk they had on the dock over a month prior, she started shutting him out again. 
“I’m moving,” Lennon stated as she shifted away from Brock, not getting up from where she sat between his legs on the step in front of him, but enough to let his arms, which he had wrapped around her shoulders as she leaned back against him, fall to his side again. “I have to go back to New York on Monday and start packing up my apartment. My master’s program isn’t there, and I knew this was coming. I just didn’t think it’d be so soon.”
Brock understood, he really did, but then he got thinking and became confused. 
“You never told me you got into your program, Len. That’s great,” he replied and leaned forward so he could look at her better. “Where are you moving to?”
“Oh, um, you know, nowhere spectacular. Just the west coast.”
“Nice, what school? Maybe if it’s near a city with an NHL team, we can meet up when I play there. I’d also love for you to visit me in Vancouver if you’re able to or up for it.”
“Yeah, maybe,” she replied, smiling because she really liked that idea, but then it was like a switch went off in her mind, and that expression soon fell as she stood up from the stairs and turned to face him. “You know what, Brock, I have to go. I think my mom needed my help with something.”
That puzzled Brock even more. 
“I was at your house with you yesterday when your parents left for Minneapolis,” he reminded her with a small laugh. “They said they were going for the weekend.”
“Oh, right.”
“Yeah. Uh, Is everything alright? You’re acting weird all of a sudden.”
“Everything’s fine,” Lennon lied, which Brock was aware of with the way she started picking at her nails and avoiding making eye contact with him. “I just have a lot on my mind, I guess.”
“Lemon,” he started softly. “You know you can talk to me, right? You don’t have to block me out again.”
Lennon let out a sarcastic chuckle. 
“Why does everyone always say that? Lennon quit blocking people out. Lennon, no one will continue breaking down those walls you put up all the time… But, no one gets that it’s just easier for me that way. I feel safer. It’s nothing personal.”
Brock’s expression fell at that a bit. “I get that, I do. Sometimes it is easier that way, but it’s also very lonely. You have people in your life that aren’t going to hurt you the way you think someone could. I want to think I’m one of those people.”
“You are, Broccoli,” she assured. “You always have been. I just, I can’t help but always think of the worst possible situation when going into new things. That’s just how my mind works. And even when it comes to you, when it comes to us and whatever we are, I’m still scared because there are so many unknowns. We don’t know what will happen when I leave for New York again, and I know I should’ve told you sooner, but I didn’t want to dampen the rest of our time here together. This has been the best summer I’ve had in a long time, and I didn’t want to ruin it.”
“You’re not ruining it,” he explained. “We know we both can’t stay at the lake forever, but that doesn’t mean we can’t bring what we have here with us when we leave. Lennon, I want you in my life all year round, not just when we’re here. I wish you realized that. And now, once you leave, it’s like I know nothing all over again because you won’t let me in enough to tell me. Which honestly sucks a lot.”
Lennon just looked back at him, not caring that her eyes were on the brink of overflowing with tears as she processed what he said. Brock cared for her. Probably more than any other guy she’s ever felt this intense of feelings for, but she was still absolutely terrified of accepting that for some reason. 
“I’m sorry, Brock,” she said, then took a shaky breath as she stepped further away from him and started backing down the stairs. “I- I’m going to go, and please, don’t come after me. I promise I’ll say bye before I leave, but I just need to think.”
She then turned and rushed down the rest of the stairs without looking back. Brock immediately stood up and went to call after her, but Lennon was already rounding the corner that led to the driveway and soon disappeared out of sight. Milo and Coolie were about to go after her, but Brock stopped them as he heard a door close and the sounds of a car pulling out of the driveway. She was already gone again, and there was nothing he could do about it. 
That night, Brock went to one of the bars nearby with their group of friends for a karaoke night. Lennon was initially supposed to join him and his roommates to venture over there together, but he knew that would no longer be the case after what happened earlier. 
After Lennon left, Brock went back inside the house, and his roommates just knew something went down between them. However, when they asked, Brock didn’t want to talk about it and just kind of went to his room alone until it was time to leave later on.  
He thought going out with their friends would make him feel a bit better and at least get his mind off the situation, but Lennon’s absence was way too noticeable for him even to try to enjoy himself. Brock didn’t take part in karaoke. Instead, he sat at one of the tables nursing a seltzer that was room temperature because he just wasn’t in the mood. 
After an hour passed and Brock still hadn’t finished the drink or taken much part in the group outing whatsoever, he figured he might as well call it an early night and head home. However, before he could, someone sat down next to him and started talking to him. 
“What are you doing over here by yourself?” Asked Michael, Lennon’s twin brother, before he sipped on his beer and gave Brock a judgy look that resembled the same one he’d received from Lennon many times before. 
“Hey, Mick,” Brock greeted with a smile. “I’m just not feeling it, I guess. I think I’m going head out soon.”
“Fair enough. It seems like my sister felt the same way. What a no-show.”
Mick scoffed jokingly, then looked around at their friends. Brock let out a small laugh and shrugged in response, but then he figured that maybe he could ask about Lennon seeing as he knew her twin probably knew more than he did. 
“Speaking of your sister, do you know why she didn’t want to come out tonight?”
“I’m surprised you don’t,” Mick deadpanned. “But no, I haven’t been home. I figured she’d be here with you, actually, but I guess you never really know with her. I don’t know how you’re going to put up with living in the same place as her beyond the summer.”
“Same place as her?” Brock asked.
“Yeah, Lennon got accepted to do her master’s at UBC in Van,” Mick replied, then watched as Brock’s eyes widened in shock. “Woah, wait. She didn’t tell you, did she?”
“No, didn’t mention it at all.”
“Fuck, of course not. I honestly wish I could say I was surprised, but then I’d be lying.”
Brock glanced down for a brief moment, still processing what he just told, then shook his head before responding. “Mick, I say this in the nicest way possible, but Lennon gives me fucking whiplash, I swear.”
“Join the club,” Mick laughed. “I’ve been president for almost 24 years now.”
“I just, how could she not tell me?”
At that, Mick’s expression turned a bit more serious than it was before, then he sighed. 
“I know it may not seem like it right now, but she really does care about you, Brock. More than she’ll let herself admit. You’re someone that’s important to her and has been for a very long time.”
“I wish she had a better way of showing it. Then I wouldn’t have to doubt so much.”
“I know,” Mick replied. “It’s a lot. But, let me tell you that what Lennon feels for you is very different from what she’s felt for any other guy before. My sister has been in a relationship with a fair share of people. I’m talking frat guys to Wall Street douchebags, she has had a few what could have been serious relationships, but those guys were not it for her. They betrayed her trust, belittled her for getting too in her head at times and then left her in the dust after they broke her. She’s always blamed herself for that and hated that she even bothered putting her heart out there, so it’s something she struggles with. But with you, Brock, she can be herself. I see Lennon at her happiest when we’re here, and it’s because of you. That’s not even something I have to think about because it’s always been that way. You’re her best friend, but what she feels for you is more than that and what it is, is that she’s scared to admit it. She doesn’t want to ruin what the two of you already have or risk getting hurt in doing so.”
Brock didn’t know what to say. He hung on to every single word that Mick said and took a moment for him to wrap his head around it all, but he already knew what to say. He’d known for a while.
“Mick, there is not a single part of me that would ever want to hurt her,” Brock explained. “Lennon is just such an important part of my life, and after what happened last summer, I also didn’t want to fuck up what we have. But, I really want to.”
“I know,” Mick stated. “And I trust you with her, Brock, that’s why I told you all of this. I don’t think you’ll hurt my sister, and she deserves someone like you. Now, I know you probably have more that you want to say on that topic, but why don’t you say it to her. She’s gotta be at home, and I just think the two of you need to not lie about how you feel anymore.”
As Mick said that, Brock couldn’t help but smile, then nod in agreement before standing up and grabbing his keys. “You’re right. I’m going to go talk to her. Thanks, Mick. I’ll see you around.”
“Make good choices!”
It didn’t take long for Brock to drive to Lennon’s house, but everything was dark when he got there. He thought about texting her but decided against it because he knew she wouldn’t answer. So instead, he got out of his car and listened. Sure enough, he could hear City and Colour’s The Girl playing softly from the backyard and knew she was there. 
Brock shut the car door, knowing that Lennon would hear it, then walked down the driveway on a mission. 
By the time he reached the backyard, Lennon was leaning over the railing, trying to see who it was that just got there, and Brock didn’t miss the way her eyes widened in surprise after realizing it was him.
“Brock?” She asked, then moved over to the top of the stairs as he climbed up them, still not saying anything. “What’re you-.”
Before Lennon could finish asking her question, she was cut off by Brock as he wrapped his arms around her middle and pulled her towards him, not stopping until their lips met in a very firm yet delicate kiss. He took her by surprise, but Lennon reacted by closing her eyes and melting into his touch, then wrapped her arms around the back of his neck and kept him close as she deepened the kiss. 
After a moment, the two of them broke away slightly, and Brock leaned his head against her’s, smiling like crazy. 
“I wish I didn’t wait a month to do that again,” he said, making Lennon laugh.
“I’m not complaining,” she replied. “That’s definitely one way to make an entrance, though. But why do I have a feeling there’s more to why you’re here besides just wanting to kiss me?”
Brock smiled at that because she was right, but before he could respond, he needed to think about what he wanted to say first. As he did that, he noticed that she was wearing the same outfit as she was earlier, right down to the messy bun, but now she wore his Minnesota sweater again, and his smile grew at that. Although the sun had already set, Lennon’s eyes still glowed with how the fairy lights strung around the deck reflected in them and that mixed with the Dallas Green’s voice still singing in the background. It was tough for Brock not to just lean down and kiss her again. But he knew he couldn’t, not right away at least.
“You’re right,” he told her, then let out a breath and smirked as the song changed to She Will Be Loved. “There’s something else I want to talk about, something we haven’t discussed yet.”
“What’s that?”
“Come back to Vancouver with me. After you’re packed up in New York, let’s go to Van together.”
“Wait, you know that’s where I’m moving?” Lennon asked, surprised. “Mick told you, didn’t he? Brock, I didn’t tell you because I thought-.”
“You don’t have to explain yourself,” Brock cut off her ranting and smiled. “It doesn’t matter. I want you there, Lennon. I want to be with you while you’re there, as more than just your friend.”
A surprised gasp left Lennon’s mouth, but she recovered quickly by smiling and pulling him in for another kiss. 
“As long as I get to do that all the time, I’m game,” she responded after she broke away from him briefly, then let him close the space between them again. 
“Sounds like a plan to me.”
Without even having to voice it, Lennon started leading him back towards the house, hinting at how she wanted him to stay the night, and there was no way Brock was going to say no to that.
~*~
“I had a feeling you’d have a lot of things, but I was not expecting this,” Brock huffed as he peeked out from behind a stack of moving boxes. He and Lennon were standing in the living room of her new Vancouver apartment, getting ready to unpack everything. “This is excessive.”
“Shut up, the place was unfurnished,” she grumbled in response. “What did you expect?”
“I’m just saying, this would’ve been a lot less of a hassle if you had moved in with me.”
Lennon gave her boyfriend an unimpressed look, which he responded to with a wink and a smirk before he walked towards her and pulled her into his embrace. 
It was the end of August, and Lennon was finally ready to move into her new place. After she left the lake for New York a month prior, it took her about a week to get everything packed up and organized for the move to British Columbia. Lennon already had a storage locker rented in Vancouver to keep her stuff in until she was able to start moving into her apartment and had plans to go back to the lake until her lease began on the first of September and spend the rest of the summer with Brock. However, when she, Mick and their parents landed at the Vancouver airport, he was already there waiting for them. 
He helped them get everything to the storage locker. Then, after Lennon’s family left to go back to the lake, she stayed with Brock at his condo with Milo and Coolie for about three weeks before getting the keys to her place.
“That’s a little forward, don’t you think?” Lennon teased him. “What a strange thing to say to your girlfriend of what, a month?”
“I mean, I’ve also known my girlfriend for almost half my life, so does that month really make a difference?”
“Cheeky,” she responded, then stood on her tiptoes so she could peck his lips before moving away from him and over to where her phone rested on the small breakfast bar. “We can see where we’re at when this lease is up. But for now, I hope you’re ready to listen to the entire Lumineers discography as we start tackling these boxes.”
“Oh, you know it,” he told her as a matter -of- factly. “And let’s not forget about the wine in the fridge.”
“Yes, we can enjoy it once there’s room to sit down somewhere.”
Brock laughed in response and shook his head as Lennon pressed play on her phone and Sleep On The Floor started playing from her Bluetooth speaker. 
The two of them then started moving the boxes labelled ‘clothes’ to Lennon’s bedroom and started there. All of the furniture Lennon bought was set up already, so it was just a matter of putting things away and getting them organized. They got right to work, and although Brock was going to leave putting the clothes away to Lennon, so they went where she wanted, he figured he could at least unpack them so that she could just grab the items and go. Lennon grabbed a box and started unpacking it, so Brock did the same but had to pause once he opened the box closest to him and saw what was there. 
Laying on top of a pile of sweaters was the Boeser jersey Lennon told him about. Until that moment, Brock completely forgot that she had one, but it sure made him feel good seeing it for himself. A smile tugged at his lips as he lifted it from the box and set it on the bed, then glanced at Lennon to see if she saw his reaction. She was busy getting ready to hang things up in the closet, proving that she hadn’t seen him, which Brock was perfectly content with. He did, however, feel himself getting overly happy at the thought of seeing her wear the jersey that upcoming season and grinned even wider because of it. Brock had a really good feeling about them as a couple and couldn’t wait to see where things went from there.
145 notes · View notes
iamjungkooked · 4 years
Text
All In
Tumblr media
Synopsis: 
Jeon Jungkook is everything you have ever desired in a partner. He’s kind, passionate, funny, honest, warm and every positive adjective in the dictionary. He totally gets you and you get him. He seems like the perfect guy for you, except he is dating your best friend. What could possibly go wrong? 
OR 
The four times you get the wind knocked out of you by Jeon Jeongguk
Genre:  Angst (a lot of it) + mild smut + a li’l bit of fluff but mostly angst
Pairing: Jungkook x female reader
Word count: 13.1k 
A/N: a huge thank you to you if you read this. Any kind of feedback is appreciated ❤️ I hope you enjoy it!
                                   *****************
So far there have been two times in your life where you have gotten the wind knocked out of you. The first was when you saw your favourite band in concert for the first time ever. The second is when you see Jeon Jeongguk across the room at your best friend’s party. 
{3 years ago}
Standing in the corner of the room, you scan the crowd that has filled the house. As you continue your examination, your eyes catch a stranger across the room. He’s got a beer in one hand, and with the other, he is running a hand through his hair. To say you feel unsteady on your feet and can’t breathe would be an understatement. Immediately mesmerized by his smile, you find it hard to take your eyes off him. He catches your gaze across the room, and you immediately lower your eyes. Fidgeting with your phone, you leave from the crowded living room and make an escape for the front yard of Mina’s house, which is the only quiet place.
The night is silent, save for the sounds of crickets chirping into the distance somewhere. You amble quietly towards the tree in the yard, which is yours and Mina’s favourite spot. Dusting off the roots that protrude from the ground, you sit down and rest your head against the bark.
“I thought I saw someone heading in this direction” the nameless stranger from before makes an appearance, almost making you lose your balance even though you are sitting.
“Hi” you tuck a strand of hair behind your ear
“What are you doing out here leaving that awesome party?” he chuckles as he sits next to you, drawing his knees to his chest.
“It’s too loud. Not my kind of scene” you play with your hands in an effort to detract from the nervousness.
“Thought I was the only one”
You shake your head. “I took you for the parties-are-my-thing- kind of guy”
With eyebrows raised in surprise, he looks at you. “Really? What makes you say that?”
“Only the people swarming around you, and just your general aura. I guess” you shrug.
“Hmm” he nods in thought. “I am Jungkook, by the way” his hand crosses the gap between you, and he holds it in front of you.
You look at his hand for a moment, before sliding yours in. “I am y/n”
“Nice to meet you” his lips stretch in that perfect smile, which is capable of breaking hearts.
“So, if parties aren’t your thing, what do you like?” he asks after a moment of silence.
“Nature, books, Netflix of course, and people watching”
He laughs at your response and nods his head. “I haven’t met a single person to date who doesn’t like Netflix. But people watching, now that is something I haven’t heard before”
“I mean, you would have to be some kind of a monster to not like Netflix. People watching is a weird name for it, but more like observing my surroundings. People more so than other details.” you chuckle at the ridiculousness of it. “The human condition is very fascinating”
“How so?” his interest piques.
“You can learn a lot about someone just by looking at them. I don’t mean giving them a once over, but really observing them”
“So what did you learn about me?” he grins with a twinkle in his eyes.
“You are confident given your posture. Definitely an extrovert, since you just struck up a conversation with a random stranger. You keep an open and inviting body language, which tells me you aren’t afraid of showing your true self and letting people in. What else?” you pause in thought. “That is all I can think of right now”
“Was I just a part of the crowd or did I happen to strike your fancy? I saw you looking at me”
“Oh that…” your lower your gaze partly in nervousness and partly in embarrassment. “I am sorry if that was weird. I was looking around the room, and I saw you and just…” you trail off.
“It’s alright. I am happy you did. Otherwise, I would never have come up to you and I never would have known how intelligent and fascinating you are”
You didn’t expect him to respond like that which eases your nervousness, allowing you to gather the courage to look at him. “You are good at giving compliments. Thank you” you smile at him, heart beating slightly faster than usual.
“Actually, thank you. For saving me from boring conversations” he motions his head to Mina’s house. “I am glad I met you. I have seriously never met anyone like you”
“I have never met anyone like me either” your lips stretch into a grin.
“What do you gather about them?” Jungkook points to presumably a couple in the making sitting on the steps leading to the house.
“Why don’t you give it a shot?” you prompt with a crooked grin.
He mulls the offer for a moment. “Well…” he pauses as he studies the couple. “She’s leaning in, so she’s definitely interested. He might be interested but he’s put a little bit of distance between them. So maybe he’s not sure about her. She’s touching his arm, and she just threw her head back and laughed so she’s totally into whatever he said. Either that or she likes him so much that she’s just laughing at whatever. He’s fidgeting with his hands, so maybe he’s nervous” he looks to you for confirmation. “How am I doing so far?”
“You are a pro at it Mr. Jungkook”
His smile widens. “The effect of hanging out with intelligent people” he winks.
You chuckle and shake your head. “It’s funny isn’t it?”
“What?” he turns to look at you.
“It takes a lot for two people to be together. There are so many layers and so many complexities and so much drama involved. There is no guarantee that we’ll be happy once we find whatever we’re looking for. Yet, we’re all desperately searching for the one person who can give us the validation we need without even knowing where we will end up. It might be a good person or a bad one, but we never stop. It’s like actively looking for heartbreak, and that possibility is somehow better than being alone”
“Everyone wants to be loved. I don’t think it’s the feelings that we crave or even physical contact. I think it’s the fact that someone is choosing us for who we are. You know the whole package of good, bad, and ugly. That is why we have so many dating websites now. Everyone wants in” he replies looking at the couple who is still sitting on the steps.
He gets you. You can actually have a proper conversation with him. He’s the whole package too. He’s smart, and from what you can tell a genuinely kind guy. He’s not just a superficial guy, like many others you have met before who only want to talk about interests and hobbies, and likes or dislikes because those are the topics of conversation when you first meet someone. God forbid, you actually dig deeper and try to unravel the many layers of human personality.
“Do you want in?” you question.
“I-” he’s interrupted by Mina, who is approaching.
“Y/N!” she squeals and you move to stand up, but Jungkook is already offering you his hand.
You slide your hand in his and nod your head for a thank you.
“Oh my god! Thank god you guys met!” she exclaims. “I was so scared to introduce you guys to each other. But the universe took care of it for me” she looks heavenward and sighs.
You can smell the alcohol on her breath. Mina is a typical social animal. She’s got tons of friends, and whenever the occasion arises she hosts parties . Of course, like any other extrovert, she is constantly embroiled in the painful cycle of relationships. She’s had so many boyfriends over the years, you can’t even count anymore. Ever since you met her in grade 1, she’s always had someone she’s either crushing on, or she’s in a relationship with. She is the perfect example of people suffering from “love syndrome” as you like to call it. But she’s also your best friend because, despite everything, she will fiercely defend you if anyone hurts you, and she’s always there for you. She’s been through thick and thin with you and in the 2 decades of friendship, you have gone through a lot with her.
“What do you mean?” your brows knit together in confusion.
“Y/n, this is Jungkook. He’s my boyfriend”
You blink at her owlishly because there is no other way to respond. You never thought there would be a third time when you would feel like you have been sucker-punched. But this is it. This is the third time in your life when you felt like the wind was knocked out of you.
By the end of the night, all the fantasies you had built in your head about marrying him, having a cute family together, and living a cliche suburban life came crashing down.
Because Jeon Jeongguk is your best friend’s boyfriend.      
 *********
{Present day}
“Please do it!” Mina begs folding her hands, following you around like a child needing attention.
“No!” you shake your head as you pick up the cleaning agent and the cloth and head over to the table that was occupied by a group of high school students. Mina follows you to the table. You begin cleaning the mess the kids made.
“Why!?” she questions.
You can’t give her the real reason. So you settle for the whole I-don't-have-time-to-date-right now spiel. But there is only one reason why you don’t want to date: Jungkook. As hopeless, and wrong it is to have a one-sided love for him, you just can’t seem to invest in anyone else. As much as your instincts and reasoning contradict this stubborn desire of yours, you still can’t seem to detach yourself from the insufferable feelings.
He is, after all, Mina’s boyfriend. So that should make things easy. But not for you. It’s been three years since Mina and Jeongguk got together. It was three years ago you when your pining for him began and it’s three years later and you are still stuck in the same place. Sometimes being around him is suffocating. Sometimes you hate him for being the reason behind your inability to move on. It’s been three years and you have not understood what it is about him that appeals so much to you.
At first, it was the fact that you could have genuine conversations with him. But then you met Kim Namjoon, who is your ex-boyfriend. It was surprisingly easy with Namjoon. You could talk about the most superficial to the deepest things in the span of one conversation. Namjoon managed to stimulate your mind in a way most people can’t. Yet, it didn’t work out because of your inability to invest in the relationship. But you did end up getting another best friend out of it.
Being with Namjoon made you realize that it’s not that you could have genuine conversations with Jungkook that made you like him, but it was the unfathomable truth that you just liked him. That was all there was to it. Love without a reason is the hardest to grasp and it was no wonder you are having difficulties understanding your emotions.
“Bullshit!” Mina yells, startling you with her shrill voice. You turn around to face her.
“Bullshit? My choices are bullshit for you?”
“Yes. You have been doing this for so long to yourself that you can’t even see what you are doing is not good for you” she stares at you unyieldingly.
“If you really knew what I wanted, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. In fact, we wouldn’t even…” you feel the anger which is prompting you to act this way.
“Wouldn’t even what?” she folds her arms against her chest, and motions her head at you.
“Look” you sigh. “I have had a long day Mina. I can’t get into this and trust me it’s better this way” you begin to walk back to the cash counter and shut the tiny gate so Mina can’t enter
She is relentless in her pursuit of you as she follows you to the counter and leans against it. “Why can’t you just go on one date with Hoseok? He’s a perfectly nice guy!”
“Because I can’t date!” you reply.
I only want your boyfriend, which makes me the biggest bitch in the entire world.
“It’s not that you can’t. It’s just you don’t want to and I want to know why. I am not forcing you, babe. I am just worried for you” her brows furrowed together in concern.
“I am sorry Min. I love you but please drop this” you open the cash drawer and begin counting the bills.
“No. This has gone on forever” she digs her heels into the ground to prove to you just how serious she is. 
You drop the bills you were holding in the cash drawer, and slam it shut. It’s good that the cafe has closed early because you can actually leave. You turn around and go to the back where you know Mina can’t follow you. But you can still hear her rambling by herself, which she does when she is pissed. You roughly take off the apron and instead of hanging it on the hook, you leave it on the floor. At this point, you just need to get away from her. Grabbing your coat from one of the other hooks, you go back out the way you came in.
Of course, Mina is still there, but she’s sitting in one of the booths, her eyes glued to her phone. You walk past her towards the door and hear her calling out. But instead of turning around you walk right out and take a right on the street. You have no idea where you are going, but you are too wired to try and figure it out.
You put in your headphones and pull the hoodie over your head. The sound of music instantly soothes the anger that had built up. You turn around to make sure she is not following you and when you find yourself on the street alone you let out a long exhale.
You don’t see it because you were somehow too busy gawking at the cobbled sidewalk, but you end up bumping into someone.
“I am so-” you stop midway because it’s none other than Jeon Jeongguk.
“Hi, stranger” he steadies you by putting his hands on your shoulder.
“Sorry I didn’t see you” you pull out your headphones and shove them in the hoodie pocket.
“Are you okay? You look a little stressed”
How he always knows what you’re feeling, you’ll never know. That is one of the things you like about him. You never have to say anything to him and he always knows how you feel, which at times makes you wonder if he is aware of your feelings towards him. If he is, then there is nothing worse and more embarrassing than that.
“Can’t hide anything from you, can I?” you sigh and look heavenward, and stretch your neck to the right.
“No. I know you extremely well” he rubs concentric circles on your arms, and that is when you realize he had been holding you the entire time.
“Your girlfriend and I just got into a little argument and I might or might not have been completely unreasonable and by default a bitch”
“Another date?” he questions, his hands still on your arms as he switches to gentle stroking. You almost want to move away, put some distance. But you like the feeling of him touching you too much to do that. At this point, all you want to do is, collapse in his arms, and let him hug all the negative energy away. But you can’t. It’s absolutely and completely wrong. Even wanting that, makes you feel like you are the worst human being to ever exist. You have to grapple with so much guilt every day that it’s a true wonder you still have the ability to feel the whole spectrum of emotions.
You remember he asked you a question and nod. You don’t even need to ask how he knows. He’s Jeongguk and he’ll always know. So, why you aren’t together despite being so perfectly in tune with one another, you don’t know.
“I am exhausted” you mumble, feeling your lip tremble and a lump form in your throat. It’s the worst possible moment to cry but he’s standing right there in front of you. You already feel too much from your conversation with Mina and now Jeongguk is there and you can’t help it. Loving him is the worst thing ever. It’s like drugs. You know they are bad for you, yet you can’t give them up. You realize what you had told him on the night you first met about human- beings actively looking for heartbreak.
The irony of that statement hits you because you are doing exactly that, despite telling yourself you never would. First guilt, then hurt, and now self-betrayal.
“Hey” he whispers in a soft voice, which makes it even harder to hold your tears back.
You sniffle as they fall one by one. You tuck your chin into your neck so he can’t see you. You should not be crying in front of your best friend’s fucking boyfriend. But there you are, doing exactly that. It almost feels cheap because you feel like you are forcing him to react in a way that he shouldn’t because he’s Jeongguk and he’s nice and he’ll do whatever he can do to comfort you. So knowing him you know what’s coming next.
Sure enough, he wraps one arm around your waist, and with his other, he gently pats the back of your head. You bury your face in his chest.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to” he continues to gently caress your hair.
You sniffle again and press your face in his chest further. He doesn’t say anything and holds you. But he shouldn’t because Mina isn’t there. It’s too intimate.
You sniffle again and remember how wrong this is. “I am sorry” you pull away from his arms.
Jeongguk almost looks shocked, and a little bit disappointed too. Maybe you are being delusional. He nods and slides his hands into his jean pockets. Neither of you say a word and stand in the middle of the sidewalk unable to look at each other.
“A-anyway” you croak. “You should go check up on Mina” you offer a weak smile.
His lips push into a thin line. “Take care y/n”
You walk past him, your arm brushing against his. A few steps down the sidewalk you look back and see him disappearing into the corner and then he’s gone. That's’ when you finally break down.
Why does it have to be him?
 *********
Mina hasn’t spoken to you in 24 hours which is a record for her, considering she is a chatterbox. You don’t know how to approach this new development in your friendship. If anything, it strengthens your resolve of preventing Mina from knowing your feelings. Because if she is this angry when you refused a date with another guy, it’s easy to imagine how angry and hurt she would be if she knew your feelings.
The only person you can think of at the moment for help is Jeongguk. But you will be damned if you ask him. You need to stay as far away from him as possible and figure your life out because you have decided you cannot be a pathetic loser for the rest of your life. So the only way to kill two birds with one stone is to do what you are about to say.
“I’ll meet Hoseok” you glance at Mina and then pretend to flip through the magazine.
It’s silent. That is not what you were expecting. You look up to confirm if she is there and that she heard you. She is present alright. But she’s frozen at the spot, and she is staring at you with the eyes of someone in complete disbelief. If they open any wider, you are sure her eyeballs will pop out of their sockets.
“Are you serious?” she moves so quickly, you don’t even register she is sitting next to you on the couch.
“Yeah” you close the magazine.
“Oh my god. I never thought you would say yes!” she wraps you in a hug so fast that you both end up toppling over and you hit your back against the couch.
“I’ll go” you pat her on the back.
“Yes!” she squeals and sits up, allowing you to do the same. “Well, since I know how much you hate going on first dates, I already invited him over for dinner tonight” she looks at you with anticipation.
“How did you know I was going to say yes?”
“I know you better than you know yourself, honey” she laughs.
“That is true” you laugh with her.
“I cannot wait for you to meet him y/n. He’s so sweet and I am already imagining your cute babies together!” she exclaims and wraps you in another hug.
 *********
Mina left the house to go get groceries. She wasn’t exactly a good cook, so obviously, Jeongguk was going to come over and cook for everyone. He was going to come anyway since Mina had arranged a dinner. He was perfect in every way possible. Mina was such a lucky person to have found him. He was lucky to find someone as caring as her too. The only unlucky person is you, who is stuck with horrible unrequited feelings.
It comes as no surprise that Jeongguk arrives earlier at your place. The weather suddenly takes a turn for the worse with lighting and thunder making a sudden appearance in the sky every so often. You can hear the wind howling outside the window. Jeongguk enters the house completely soaked.
“Oh my god Jeongguk” you exclaim and sidestep quickly to let the poor man in.
“I am okay” he sneezes.
“Yeah. Totally” you roll your eyes and take the bags from him and leave them on the kitchen counter. “By the way, Mina went to get groceries. I guess she didn’t inform you”
Jeongguk sighs and shakes his head. “As usual, she did not”
You hurry to the bathroom and grab a spare towel for Jeongguk. You hand it to him and he runs it through his black locks, which fall over his forehead. “I am going to wash up before I catch a cold” he sniffles.
“But your clothes…”
“Mina’s room” he supplies.
Your heart sinks. Of course, Mina has a spare set or two of his clothes. He is her boyfriend, you remind yourself.
“Right” you smile halfheartedly.
Jeongguk turns on his heels and disappears into the bathroom. While he’s gone you arrange the groceries on the counter so it’s easier for him when he’s cooking. You know you shouldn’t do nice things for him because it only makes you more attached. But somehow when you see him every resolve you have ever built goes out of the window.
{2 years ago}
“I wish I had met you before I met Mina” Jeongguk muses in his drunken state as you support him. If you knew holding him up would be such a nuisance, you would never have let him drink this much. Mina is a similar story if not worse. By the time you get into the taxi, Mina is already asleep and snoring away and Jeongguk is softly mumbling something you cannot make out. Shutting the backseat door, you get into the passenger seat and give the driver the address to your apartment which you share with Mina.
The car starts moving and you look back to find Jeongguk’s and Mina’s limbs entangled with each other. You chuckle and face forward, hoping that getting them into the apartment would be a better experience than getting them into the taxi. You arrive fairly quickly.
The taxi driver was kind enough to lend you a hand with Jeongguk, after you settle Mina into her bed. You give him an extra tip for kindness because you couldn’t have supported Jeongguk all by yourself, especially since people tend to feel heavier when they are asleep.
After paying for the taxi, you enter the apartment and take your shoes off at the entrance. You can hear Jeongguk rambling something in his sleep once more, and go to check on him. Throwing your purse on the coffee table, you crouch down and take his shoes off. Then you collapse next to him, feeling like all energy has been drained out of you.
Jeongguk snuggles up to you, which causes your breath to catch in your throat. “Jeongguk” you try to push away his arm from your waist, but he has you locked in. Even in a drunken state he’s that strong.
“Jeongguk” you call him again, hoping this time he would let you go.
“Just stay like this” he mumbles. “You smell good”
“I am y/n. Not Mina”
“I know. I am drunk but not that drunk” he tightens his hold around your waist and snuggles further into the crook of your neck. “Please. Stay. I like you y/n. Don’t leave me”
The moment he utters those words, you forget to breathe. He’s completely wasted and he won’t remember any of it which means you shouldn’t react to it at all because it’s meaningless. Yet, your body reacts. Your heart quickens, stomach tightens in knots. Out of guilt you glance at the partly closed door of Mina’s room.
“No you don’t. You’re drunk” you manage to say as you turn to look at him. His eyes are closed and he’s half asleep yet he insists he isn’t that drunk.
“I know you think I am wasted. But drunk people don’t lie y/n. I like you and I wish” he stops. “I wish really badly that you and I…” he trails off and the sounds of his heavy breathing fills the room. You look down at him sleeping soundly and only one thought occupies your head.
“Why does it have to be you Jeongguk” you whisper to yourself, closing your eyes and letting slumber take you.
The next morning, you wake up alone with a blanket drawn over you and Jeongguk isn’t there.
 *********
“Y/n” you are drawn out of reverie by Jeongguk’s voice. “Where are you lost?” he asks.
You blink away the thoughts in your mind and focus on him. “Uhh.. nothing. I was just thinking about something”
“You think a lot you know?” he chuckles as he moves behind the kitchen counter and starts washing the vegetables and laying them out on the cutting board.
“It’s a disease” you reply with a smile of your own. Grabbing the water jug, you pour yourself a glass of water. Being parched around Jeongguk is like an occupational hazard because loving him somehow has become your full-time job. You are in the midst of taking a sip when-
“But that’s what I like about you” he replies in a mindless manner, all focus directed at chopping the vegetables that he doesn’t even look at you.
You choke on the water, followed by a coughing fit which immediately grabs Jeongguk’s attention. He rushes to your side and begins stroking your back in a gentle manner. It only makes you cough harder because that what happens when he touches you; whatever you are feeling in the moment is amplified ten times more.
“I am okay” you croak heavily, grabbing your throat.
“You scared me for a moment” Jeongguk shakes his head. “You good?”
You really want to ask him what he meant by his earlier statement, but that will only cause you to spiral. You will dissect it to the point of driving yourself nuts. When it comes to him, you are back to being a fucking teenager. It doesn’t really get much worse than that.
“Yeah” you clear your throat and stay at your spot while he turns his back to you and resumes chopping the vegetables and you-- well-- you stay you.
“Hey” Jeongguk looks at you over his shoulder. “Did Mina mention anything to you?”
“Like what?” you question, suddenly curious.
“We just had a little fight. So, I thought she might have said something to you”
“Surprisingly enough she didn’t. Would it matter if she told me?” you prod further and move closer to where he is standing.
Jeongguk abandons the knife and his intention to prep for whatever he’s making as he does a 360 turn to face you. “It matters what you think” he shrugs. “To me” he adds whilst leaning his back against the kitchen counter and scrutinizing you in a most intense manner.
You stare at this lovely man who stands in front of you. A man you love so much, that you don’t know what to do with your feelings. A man who makes you want to cry every time he’s around because everything is hopeless. In fact, if you could, you would cry right now because when he’s around there is always a tight feeling in your throat which you have to keep swallowing down.
“Why do you always say things like that?” suddenly things become much more serious. You can feel it in the air.
He’s silent as he regards you. You wait, feeling the weight of it as every moment passes.
“I am not supposed to say this. Hell, I am crazy for even thinking this but I have wrestled with this for so long” he scratches the nape of his neck.
Don’t Jeongguk, You scream inside your head
You have an inkling as to what he’ll say.
“Don’t” you shake your head before he even opens his mouth. He looks at you and you know he understands what you mean.
“So you know” he steps closer, and you take a step backwards.
“No” you whisper. He takes another step forward and you take another backwards. “I didn’t know. Until now” the words fall as another whisper through your lips. He moves forward, and you move backwards.
“You?” he questions. “Do you?” he prods. He doesn’t even need to complete the question because you know what he’s asking. You have waited for this moment for three years. You clearly never imagined it would happen so suddenly, nor while he was still with Mina.
“Will my answer change anything?” You continue your little dance as you step back again while steps towards you.
“Maybe not” he speaks so softly, it’s almost at the edge of a whisper. The only sounds in the room are that of the refrigerator and the sound of the heating system as it turns on.
“We shouldn’t be doing this” you look him in the eyes. That is when you realize how terrifying it is to look in someone’s eyes and see how they feel.
“I know” he takes his final step forward and has you pinned against the kitchen counter. He places his hands on either side of you on the white marble. “Is it bad that I want to” he leans in and his lips hover so near to yours, that you can almost taste his signature strawberry scent.
You know what you should say, but it’s not easy because you want it too. Maybe this is your chance. Maybe if you just say ‘no’ now it will put an end to all those painful feelings. It’s right at the tip of your tongue. You can’t believe you are actually considering it. But then an image of Mina flashes to your mind, which pulls you back into reality.
“Yes, it’s bad. We can’t. No matter how much we want to. We can’t do it. We’re good people” you lick your lips as your eyes bounce to his lips.
“What do I do?” he whispers against your lips. “You make me want to be a bad person y/n” he caresses your cheek and reaching up your hands clench onto the material of his shirt.
“ It’s only a moment. It’ll pass. I know you won’t do it, no matter how strongly you feel about this. You’re a good person Jeongguk.” your voice cracks because you are so close. You are so close yet so far from him that it breaks your heart for the millionth time and tears well up in your eyes.
“And that’s the problem isn’t it?” he bites his lip. He rests his forehead against yours and closes his eyes. For the next few moments, your breathing even out and matches with his. You stand there trapped between his arms, trying your best to soak this feeling because it will never happen again. The fact that you are doing this simple thing is wrong on so many levels you begin to feel the guilt creep up. You begin to feel ashamed of yourself for even letting him this close but goddamn it, you want him so bad you can’t help it.
Taking a deep breath he pulls back and steps backwards, putting some space between you.
You smile at him.
“How can you smile at a time like this?” he muses softly, eyes resting on you.
“Just knowing how you feel is enough. It’s more than enough Jeongguk”
He regards you in silence, his eyes bouncing from your eyes to your lips and back again.
“I am already feeling weak y/n. Don’t be that nice. I might just kiss you”
“And knowing that is enough. You’re with Mina and I could never do that to her. I know you would never do that to her either. Maybe one-day karma will bless us with something good” you pause. He waits in silence for you to continue. “Just not today”
He nods very slowly. “Just. Not. Today” he repeats softly.
 *********
You, Mina, Hoseok and Jeongguk sit on the circular dining table. If there was ever a slim chance that you could skip one moment of your life and go to the next, it would be this one. Never have you felt so awkward. It’s not Hoseok. It’s not Mina. It’s Jeongguk. It’s the way he looks at you when you speak to Hoseok. It’s the way his eyes tell you to stop when you laugh with Hoseok. When you told him the first night you met him you were good at reading people, you meant it. Because you can read him like a book right now. His halfhearted smiles, listless eyes, closed-off body language clearly express his disinterest in the entire evening.
He hasn’t spoken a word to Hoseok the whole time. Jeongguk has only glared at Hoseok or completely avoided looking at him. You glance at Mina and Hoseok who are completely immersed in their conversation. It leaves you and Jeongguk. But you won’t say anything to each other. Not after admitting you like each other in the vaguest way possible. It’s because you can’t be together that makes it awkward.
Mina and Hoseok are immersed in their conversation which leaves you and Jeongguk to do the same per social rules. But it’s too much, too soon. You can’t even look at him properly without wanting to cry. But somehow knowing his feelings has lessened the burden of your own feelings.
“Y/n” Mina puts a hand on yours. “Help with the dishes please” she motions her head to the kitchen
You comply, but only after glancing at Jeongguk. He shakes his head signalling you not to go because he’ll be left alone with Hoseok. You mouth ‘sorry’ to him and follow Mina into the kitchen.
“So. What do you think of Hoseok?” Mina questions as she puts all the plates in the sink.
“He’s…. Nice” which is true. But he isn’t Jeon Jeongguk and therein lies the problem.
“Do you like him?” Mina turns around to look at you, and places her palms behind her on the counter and leans against it.
You should say yes because it’s the only way you’ll move forward. But since you have been hit with the disease of stupidity all you can manage is a shake of your head. “ I am sorry”
“I know. I can tell” she smiles.
“I know I shouldn't bring this up because this is about me and not you. But did you and Jeongguk fight?”
“He told you?” she doesn’t even try to deny it.
“No” you lie. You wouldn’t throw him under the bus. “It’s the way you are with each other today. You are distant from each other”
“Goddamn, you and your people-watching skills” Mina sighs. “I am not going to lie to you y/n. Things are not the same anymore. We’re trying. We are trying so hard to get back to the way things were, but you know that connection you feel when you get together with someone? It’s just not there anymore. But we promised we wouldn’t give up on it and try to make it work”
Unsure how to feel about it, you offer a halfhearted smile. On the one hand, you should be happy your best friend is working for her relationship, but on the other hand, this means that you might actually get your chance with Jeongguk someday. You try to shake the latter thought away because it is wrong. No, in fact, it is immoral for you to think that way about your best friend’s situation like that.
Just then Hoseok strolls into the kitchen. “Everything okay ladies?”
“Yeah. Actually, I need to speak with Jeongguk for a moment if you two will excuse me” she smiles at you knowingly before she leaves the room.
Surprisingly enough you don’t panic. Normally, you would be internally freaking out, trying to think of every which way you could get out of this situation. But you’re not doing anything like that. It’s probably because you know how Jeongguk feels now and the element of the unknown has been erased from the equation. Now that you know, you don’t have to kill yourself over and over again for thinking it’s just you. It’s him too which makes it easier to move on because now you should. It feels like closure. Not to move on, would be akin to sabotaging their relationship. And a saboteur you are not.
“Jeongguk seems like a nice guy” Hoseok muses as he looks down at the floor.
“ Yeah. He is” you clear your throat, definitely surprised at him for bringing Jeongguk up. It’s not exactly a first “date” topic of conversation.
“Let’s be real with each other y/n” his eyes move from the floor to you. “You and I are both not interested in dating each other. I can tell by looking at you. I also know that something is definitely up with you and Jeongguk”
“No-” you try to speak but he raises his hand.
“Don’t worry I won’t tell Mina” he reassures you. “Since I know that about you, it’s only fair I tell you that I feel the same way about Mina as you do about Jeongguk”
“What!” you look at him with raised eyebrows.
“I have liked her since the first day we started working together. We talked about a lot of things and I just felt this connection with her. But she told me she has a boyfriend, so I let it go. But working at the same place and seeing each other 5 days of the week doesn’t exactly make moving on an easy task” he sighs.
“I can understand that” you offer in agreement.
“So, I am in the same position as you except I don’t think Mina feels the same way about me that Jeongguk does about you” a corner of his mouth rises up in a sympathy-smile.
“No” you shake your head vigorously as if that will change his opinion. “You have got it wrong. Jeongguk doesn’t”
“I see the way he looks at you y/n. It’s the way I look at Mina. Love doesn’t know what’s right and what’s wrong and our bodies respond to it without us even noticing. I don’t think he knows it either. He looks at you the way a connoisseur of art looks at paintings. Bad metaphor, but it’s true��
“I honestly don’t know what to say to that because anything I say will be wrong” you huff through your nose as your shoulder slouch.
“It is tricky. But it is what it is. We can’t change how we feel any more than a cow can learn how to fly” he chuckles.
“You really have a thing for metaphors don’t you?” the corners of your lips stretch into a smile.
“What else can a man do but pull out bad metaphors in a situation as dramatic as this” she shrugs casually in his defence.
“I agree. Don’t worry I’ll keep your secret too” you reply. You are in no position to interfere with this matter because you are doing the exact same thing as Hoseok. You would be the last person to throw Hoseok under the bus because you totally understand him. 
Silence befalls, but it’s the comfortable kind of silence because now you both know each other’s deepest secrets. And that makes you more than friends. So you feel comfort in knowing that you are not the only one. Not that it makes the guilt feeling creep back into the shadows.
Just when he is about to say something, your attention is stolen away by the sound of what seems like arguing. You can clearly distinguish when Jeongguk is speaking and when Mina is. Hoseok and you share a look before treading a few steps closer to the entrance of the kitchen.
“Well, why the fuck are we even here then?” Mina shouts.
“Because we wanted to try didn’t we? Goddamn it!” Jeongguk replies in an equally loud manner.
“I can’t do this right now Jeongguk”
“Me neither” Jeongguk replies.
Then you hear the sound of the door slamming shut. You and Hoseok look at each other, clearly aware of how sour the situation turned very quickly. Both of you make your way to the living room where the sounds were coming from. The closer you get, the sound of sniffling gets louder.
“Oh Mina…” you hug her and she cries on your shoulder. You gently stroke her back and let her cry it out. Because God knows this is the least you can do to be a good friend because you haven’t been a good friend to her at all.
“You- you h-h-heard that didn’t you?” she chokes in between sobs.
“I am sorry. But we were in the kitchen and we could hear everything” you squeeze tighter around her waist as her body wracks with violent sobs.
She pulls away from you and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. She glances at Hoseok and then at you. “I am sorry you guys had to see this”
“It’s alright” Hoseok interjects as he sits down on the other side of Mina.
“Where did Jeongguk go?” you ask Mina.
“I don’t know” she sniffles and Hoseok hands her a tissue that she uses to wipe her nose.
“I would ask Hoseok to go, but they don’t know each other. Is it alright if I go check up on him?” you ask Mina for permission because it’s the right thing to do.
She sniffles again. “He’s probably off somewhere crying his eyes out too”
You chuckle at the thought of it because it sounds sweet. “Thanks, Min” you kiss her cheek before standing up. Glancing at Hoseok, you nod at him and does the same in understanding.
 *********
“Hey stranger”
Jeongguk turns around to face you. The wind whips through his hair, making his hair stand up in every direction. He turns back around. You approach him slowly with your hands behind your back. You pause next to the bench on which he is sitting and watch as he stares mindlessly at the black sky twinkling with hundreds of stars.
“I thought I would find you up here on the roof” you glance at him but he’s still preoccupied with looking at the sky. You take a seat on the other corner of the bench, ensuring you put plenty of space in between.
“I guess you know me as well as I know you” Jeongguk deliberates.
“Why didn’t you say anything?” you turn to look at him, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear as the wind blows through your hair.
“It would just complicate things even more” he shrugs and fidgets with his fingers.
“Does my being here make you nervous?” your eyes flicker to his fingers and then to his face.
“Yes,” he replies in a soft, almost inaudible voice.
“Do you want me to leave?” you question, heart thumping in your chest waiting for his answer.
He remains silent, still playing with his fingers. Still not looking at you. So, you take that as your cue to leave. You get up and pivot on your heels, about to leave when you feel his hand hook around your wrist. You turn to look at him and he shakes his head, pleading with his eyes as they bore into yours.
“‘Stay” he manages to say.
So you sit down. Silence falls and both you gaze at the sky. Even silence with him isn’t terrible like it is with other people.
“Hey, do you want to go get coffee?” Jeongguk turns to look at you.
“Now?” your brows rise in question
“Yes. Coffee Monster would still be open”
You mull it over for a moment. How ‘right’ would it be for you to get coffee with him when Mina is downstairs in a sad state? Not at all. You should be with her because she is your best friend. You should be the one consoling her right but Hoseok is doing that for you. He’s there when you are not. Instead, you are on this roof with Jeon Jeongguk; the last person you should be alone with given your predilection for him, seriously considering if you should take him up on his offer.
“If you are thinking it’s wrong for us to be alone like this. Let me remind you we are friends too” Jeongguk poses with a shoulder shrug casually.
“Okay. Let’s get coffee” he manages to put you at ease. It is enough for you to agree.
 *********
Just like the world is starved for love, it’s also apparently starved for coffee. There is some kind of coffee place at the corner of every block. It’s ridiculous. You walk side by side, hands warming in your pockets, occasionally glancing at each other but not exchanging a single word. Jeongguk kicks his feet as he walks, and you copy him, making a game out of it. Maybe for this one night, he can just be your friend, and you don’t have to feel guilty about your feelings for him.
You arrive at Coffee Monster, and like the gentleman he is, Jeongguk opens the door for you.
“Thank you, kind sir” your lips widen in a smile
“No problem m’ lady” he tips his head graciously.
The smell of coffee wafts to your nose and you inhale it all in because nothing like coffee to make you feel better.
“I’ll go get our drinks” he offers kindly.
“I want-”
“An iced caramel macchiato, with soy milk, and extra caramel on the top. I know” he smiles.
How does he always do this? It warms your heart every single time and makes it that much harder to let go of him.
“As usual, you’re right” you mirror the smile.
He goes to the ordering counter, while you go to find a spot to wait for him. You pull out your phone and send a quick text to Mina.
You: Mina are you doing okay?
A second later your phone chimes
Mina: yes, I am okay. How is Jeongguk?
You wonder if you should tell her you are getting coffee with him just to be transparent. But then you decide against it because what if she takes it the wrong way? You don’t want to upset her more than she already is.
You: Yeah. He seems to be doing okay 😊
Mina: Okay, love. Take care of yourself and him 🤗
You look up to find a girl next to Jeongguk, with long brunette hair, and modelesque features, chatting with him at the pickup station. She’s leaning into him with a suggestive smile on her face, gently touching his arm and throwing her head back as she laughs at something he says.
Your brows furrow as your watch from afar, feeling a little hurt. But then you notice Jeongguk hesitate and step back a little. Just as she leans in, he leans back and tries to put space between them. You watch as he taps his foot on the ground and angles his body slightly away from her.
You approach them with a grin. “I thought you ran away with our coffee’s” you stand next to Jeongguk, wrapping your hand around his arm
Jeongguk looks down at you and immediately grins. “I would never”
“Who is this?” you question as you look up at him.
“She just wanted to talk” he shrugs casually. The girl frowns at the sight of you, clearly unable to hide her dislike.
“Are you a friend?” she asks
“I am his best friend” you squeeze his arm tighter and he takes it as his cue. He wraps an arm around your shoulder, the one you had been holding onto and pulls you in closer. “A little more special than a best friend”
“Oh… alright” her face falls, and her previously self-assured demeanour disappears and so does she.
You wait for her to get out of sight before separating yourselves from each other.
“Thanks, y/n” Jeongguk smiles at you.
“I am sorry if that was weird. I saw you getting uncomfortable so I thought I could help you out” your gaze lowers to the ground.
“No. It was actually nice” he partly pulls his lower lip between his teeth.
“Damsel in distress” you tease him.
“The biggest damn one you will ever meet” he grins
“One iced and one hot caramel macchiato for Jungkook” your conversation is interrupted by the barista.
Jeongguk picks up both the cups and hands yours to you.
“Are you copying me now?” your brows knit together in a mock frown.
“Did you know that people who like each other, tend to copy each other’s actions?” he says casually but then a second later he realizes what he has just said isn’t so casual after all. His smile disappears into a thin pursed line of his lips as he avoids looking at you.
“Yeah. We like each other, so what? We’re friends” you try to lighten the mood but somehow it just gets more awkward.
“Right” he nods and takes a sip of his coffee. “Friends” he scoffs.
 *********
You walk the same path you had come from. Both of you are silent again, avoiding eye contact with each other as best you can. You try to distract yourself by studying your surroundings but your mind is still preoccupied with Jeongguk’s proximity and the occasional brush of his arm against yours.
“How was Mina?” Jeongguk glances at you.
“As well as can be expected. She was crying” you bite your lip.
“Shit” he exhales. “I am the worst boyfriend ever”
Hearing that word from him is like reality slapping you in the face. Your relaxed demeanour vanishes and you tense up because it triggers the return of guilt. You should seriously not be here with him.
“Fuck. I am sorry y/n” he stops in his tracks. You are forced to do the same but you would much rather keep walking. “I should not have said that. I am sorry” he turns to face you and you do the same.
“It’s fine. It’s true so it doesn’t matter how I feel” you shrug casually tying your best to pretend you are not affected by it.
“I care about how you feel. I have since that first night we met. I mean, fuck. Why couldn’t I have met you before I met Mina?” he laments.
“You can’t do anything about how I feel. You cannot even do anything about how you feel so what’s the point in talking about this?”  
“But why can’t we?” he runs a hand through his hair. “I mean, what is so wrong in talking about this. About us?”
You scoff. “Us? Jeongguk there is no us. There can never be an ‘us’. It’s not happening”
“Wow” he looks at you with raised eyebrows. “So, you won’t even stop for one moment to talk about it?”
“What is the fucking point Jeongguk?” you look at him wide-eyed.
“For fuck’s sake y/n. It’s been three years. Three whole fucking years we’ve been skirting around each other. We have been tiptoeing around our feelings for one another for so long, we have forgotten what it feels like to be any other way. I mean I can’t remember a single time when being around you wasn’t a painful reminder of what I could have had with you. The least we can do is talk about it!”
“It’s not fair to Mina!” you exclaim
“It’s not fair to us!” he matches the loudness of your voice.
“You’re right. It’s not. It’s not fair that you’re with her and not with me. It’s not fair that we both have to go through this endless cycle of pain and hurt. It’s not fair that we both have to keep silent about all this. But Jeongguk, that’s how it is. That is our reality and we have to accept it”
“Bull-fucking-shit!” he responds.
“You think it’s easy for me to watch you be with her!” you pause to swallow the thick lump of emotions that has risen to your throat. “I have been heartbroken so many times you have no fucking idea. But what’s wrong is wrong. Loving you is wrong. It just is. I can’t change that. I desperately wish I could. I wish I could say to you that it was right. But it’s not. You are my best friend’s boyfriend Jeongguk. She loves you. I can’t get in the way of that” your chest heaves and falls with effort
Jeongguk blinks owlishly at you. “You love me?”
Shit
“I- I. No! No, I don’t love you” you shake your head as if you are trying to convince yourself more than him. You look at the cemented sidewalk because God knows you can’t look at him.
“Then look at me and say it” he steps towards you.
“You should go home to Mina”
“Shut up” he takes another step forward and you can feel him towering over you. “Look at me and tell me you don’t love me”
You choke on a sob and press the back of your hand against your lips.
“Look at me y/n” Jeongguk presses.
You shake your head in response.
“Please”
You shake your head again.
“The only way to get over this is to tell each other how we feel” he steps towards you once again, and places his hands on your shoulders and presses his forehead to yours. “Please look at me” he whispers.
He pulls back to look at you and you finally find the courage deep within yourself to look at him too.
“I love you” he exhales and closes his eyes, waiting for your response.
Something breaks inside you. Whatever inhibition was holding you back vanishes the moment you hear those three words from him. 
“I love you too” you reply before you can even think about it.  The weight of those words you had been carrying around for three years lifts. You feel light like a load has been taken from you. Your tense body relaxes, and your frantic breathing begins to even out. There is a sense of relief beyond all the other layers of emotions you feel. If you had known you would feel so much better after telling him, you would have done it years ago.
 *********
As it turns out moving on isn’t exactly easy.
As it turns out, you still love Jeon Jeongguk
As it turns out, Jeon Jeongguk still loves you.
It also happens to be that Jeon Jeongguk is still with Kim Mina and you are back to square one.
But not completely because one single revelation is about to change things.
“You did what!” you blink at Mina, slightly unable to comprehend what she said.
“IkissedHoseokandthenweslepttogether” she mumbles quickly and avoids eye contact, pretending to be busy doing something on her laptop.
“I am sorry” you crouch in front of her. “You kissed Hoseok and then you slept together?”
She nods, shutting her laptop and hiding her face behind her hands.
“Mina! Oh my god!” you fall on your butt.
“I know. I know” she whines and topples over on the couch, still hiding behind her hands.
“I thought you and Jeongguk were trying to work things out” you look at her wide-eyed, hardly able to believe it.
She finally reveals her face. “We are, or were. But things have been different between us. Since that fight we had when Hoseok came over, Jeongguk been different. I mean I can’t say I am hurt because I am not. He’s avoiding me and to be honest I am relieved he is!” she whines. “That night when you left to go check up on Jeongguk, Hoseok really helped me and then he told me he likes me and then he leaned in for a kiss and I kissed him and then we slept together. That night I realized I like him too” she rambles to explain herself.
“Then why in the world did you try to set me up with him?” your face contorts in confusion.
“I just thought that pushing him towards someone else would force me to move on. And I knew that if it happened to be you, I wouldn’t act on my feelings” she exhales. Oh, this is the worst thing ever”.
You knew all too well what she meant and the fact that she would back off if Hoseok got together with you makes you feel even worse because you couldn’t do the same with Jeongguk. “Do you love Hoseok?” you question.
“I guess. I mean I am not sure. But I do know I don’t feel anything with Jeongguk anymore. I feel suffocated around him. I love him y/n. I do. I truly do and I only want the best for him. But I am not in love with him anymore”
“Does he know?” you ask.
“I don’t think so” she shakes her head.
Just when you thought things would start getting better, they just got worse. You love Jeongguk, Jeongguk loves you. Mina doesn’t love Jeongguk anymore, and she thinks she likes Hoseok. But Hoseok definitely loves her and you don’t know what Jeongguk feels for Mina.
Your head spins just thinking about it. “I need water” you announce from your position on the floor. You stand up slowly to avoid getting dizzy because lord knows you are on the verge of fainting. You slowly retreat back to the kitchen and pour two glasses of water. You head back to where Mina is and offer her one glass.
“So what now?” you ask once you had your fill of drink.
“I guess I have to talk to Jeongguk. Because we can’t do this” she sighs and so do you because who knows what is going to happen next?
 *********
{3 weeks later}
The clock strikes at 8 pm. Mina isn’t home. She’s working late and you hope to God she isn’t fooling around with Hoseok because she and Jeongguk broke it off only three weeks ago. But you cannot control her life any more than you can control your own. Besides, she has the full liberty to make her own decisions as an adult. All you can do is make sure she doesn’t do anything that will harm or hurt her in any way.
You flip lazily through the channels, with your feet propped on the coffee table. All you need is a glass of wine in one hand and you would be the advertisement for a lazy Sunday. It’s been too long since you have had the apartment to yourself. The quiet save for the sounds of television is exactly the kind of relaxing environment you need. Sometimes solitude is the best company one can have.
Your stomach grumbles as a commercial plays on TV depicting the perfect, juiciest steak you have ever seen. So it is naturally a given that you abandon your perch and head to the kitchen to fix up some food. Rummaging through the refrigerator all you find are a few eggs, some asparagus, a carton of milk, a loaf of bread that is expired and some apples. You really need to go buy groceries.
You look through the pantry to see if you can find something. You find a bag of chips hidden in the corner so you settle for it. You drag your feet across the marble floor and make your way to the living room. Settling down back in your spot you turn up the volume.
Just then the bell rings and you get up with a sigh and make your way towards the door. Through the security system monitor you see Jeongguk standing on the other side of the door.
“Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit” you panic because you are in no shape to be seen by Jeongguk in your PJ’s,  with dishevelled hair, and bits of chips on your shirt. You run back to the living room and fix the coffee table, and shove the bag of chips underneath one of the cushions. Running to your room, you quickly take off your PJ’s and grab whatever comes into your hand as you throw open your closet. It’s a white shirt and you grab a random pair of jeans. The shirt gets stuck on your head because in a panic you end up trying to put the sleeve through your neck. Once you figure out the shirt mess, you fix your hair up in a ponytail, while another bell rings at the door.
“Coming!” you shout and race to the door skidding to halt right in front of it. You take a few deep breaths and compose yourself as you place your hand on the doorknob. You unlock the door and try to put on your best smile.
“Hey! Come in” you usher him inside.
He hangs his jacket on the coat hanger by the door and goes to the living room.
“Do you want anything to drink?” you ask as he settles on the sofa with a thud, and you proceed to the kitchen.
“Water will be good” he rubs his face and rests his neck against the back of the couch. “Do you know where Mina left the box of my stuff?” he calls out.
“In her room!” you call out and hear faint footsteps going in the direction of her room.
You go back out into the living room with a glass of water and leave it on the coffee table for him. Just then he comes out carrying a big brown box of his stuff and he leaves it by the door under the coat hanger.
He comes back to the living and you notice he’s staring at you with raised eyebrows.
“What?” you question, patting your cheeks and your face to see if you have something on your face.
“Your shirt is on inside out,” he says and presses his lips together to hold in his laughter. But you can see his chin quivering, and his eyes getting glossy.
“Fuck” you look down and sure enough it is inside out. You collapse onto the couch grabbing one of the cushions and hiding your face behind it.
You hear him break out into laughter and feel the sofa dip beside you. He continues laughing for a good minute and for the duration you ensure to keep your face hidden behind the cushion.
“I am sorry” he chokes out between laughs. “It’s too funny”
“Yeah. My misery is obviously funny” you mumble against the cushion
You look up to find him bent over his knees, holding his belly. “ Sorry” he laughs.
“It’s your fault” you pout at him.
“Me?” he points to himself, chest still heaving with the effort of laughing.
“Yes. You showed up so suddenly, unannounced I didn’t want you to see me in my PJ’s and bedhead hair”
“You didn’t have to do that you know?”
“Yes, I did. You would have never let me live it down if you saw me like that” you try to suppress a smile.
“That is true” he nods.
He looks around the living room and peeks his head into the kitchen.
“Have you eaten yet?” he questions.
“I was actually going to buy groceries. We’re out”
“Let’s go then” he stands up and offers you his hand.
“You want to come with me?” you look at him in question.
“How could I ever miss the chance of grocery shopping with you? It’s so domestic” he grins, clearly enjoying the idea of domesticity more than anything else.
“I’ll just go fix my shirt” you tell him to wait and within thirty seconds you are out and by the door
“I didn’t know you wanted to do this so bad” you ask him as you crouch to the floor and tie shoelaces.
“I am a free man now y/n. I can finally follow my heart” he offers you his hand and once you place your hand in his, he interlocks your fingers and leads you out.
 *********
The mart is close by so you and Jeongguk decide to walk. The whole way there you walk hand in hand, swinging your arms like children and laughing for no reason other than pure excitement.
You arrive at the store and you are about to let go of his hand to grab a shopping cart, but he pulls you back and shakes his head. Instead, he grabs the cart with his free hand and maneuvers it like he’s done it a hundred times.
“I am not letting go of your hand” he squeezes tighter.
“I can see that. But you know it’s a little impractical” you motion to the cart which is going sideways instead of going forward. He fixes it so it movies in a straight line
“I have wanted to do this since the first night we met. I have wanted to spend time with you for so long, so now I am going to make up for it. No matter how weird, crazy, or impractical you think it is” you walk hand in hand around the store.
“It’s only been three weeks since you and Mina broke up” you remind him. “Isn’t this too fast?”
“A month, technically. Anyway, one, we broke up mutually because we both fell out of love with each other and fell in love with different people. Two, it’s not fast for me because I have waited years for this. Three, I want everyone to know how I feel about you. In fact, I want you to know how I feel about you because I am sick of hiding it”
You stop in your tracks and tug him by his hand towards yourself. “How do you feel about me?”
Jeongguk stares at your eyes and then your lips. “Fuck it” he mumbles and he presses his lips to yours. His hands enclose your waist and he pulls you in further. You rest your hands on his shoulders and melt into the kiss. It’s everything you imagined it would be and more. He feels like home and never in your life have you felt calmer than that moment. No heart racing, no tight knots in your stomach. Nothing. Only a sense of calm that washes over you as he holds you in his arms and spills all his love into the kiss. It is tender and soft. His lips are warm against yours, and his kisses are even warmer. He pulls back to look at you and tucks a strand of hair behind your ear.
“Perfect” he murmurs as he cups your cheeks. Then he kisses your forehead, your left cheek, right cheek. He plants a soft kiss on your nose followed by a quick peck on the lips.
You giggle like a little girl. “I did not take you for the romantic type”
“I’ll show you just how romantic I am” he entwines your hands once more and hurriedly leads you out of the grocery store.
 *********
You are completely pressed between the wall and Jungkook as he kisses you. You gasp as his lips trail down your neck. He stops to look at you, as if for confirmation.
“Just kiss me” you pull him in by grasping the fabric of his shirt and he doesn’t hesitate.
He lifts you up, and you wrap your legs around his waist, kissing him as if you will never have tomorrow with him. He leaves gentle kisses everywhere and you don’t know if you have ever felt this euphoric in your life ever before. Every part he touches is left in goosebumps and tingles.
“I love you” he breathes against your lips as he captures them again in a kiss.
“I love you too” you gasp as his hand traverses down your abdomen.
And love you, he does. It’s an indescribable feeling to be wrapped up in each other, limbs tangled, soft kisses left here and there. His hands never rest for a single second because he wants to explore every inch of your body. He wants to know you in a way no one has ever known you before. You lose count of how many times you come undone as you lie in his arms and he shows you how much he loves you.
 *********
The next morning Jeongguk acts like a baby and doesn’t let you get out of bed.
“One more kiss and I promise I’ll let you go” he whines and grasps your wrist and tugs you back into bed. You are helplessly pinned underneath him.
“Fine one more” you tap his lip with your index finger. He pushes your finger away and his lips are onto yours once again. Unlike the first time he kissed you, this feels more rushed like he’s scared he that he’ll never have another day with you.
“I could do this all day long “he mumbles as he pulls away.
“Unfortunately for you Mr. Jeon Jeongguk. I don’t have all day to do this” you shove him and he falls on his back on the bed.
“Yes you do” he sits up on his elbows and stares at you with a suggestive look in his eyes. “Round 2?” he questions.
“No more rounds Jeongguk. I have to go back to the apartment and figure stuff out” you pull your shirt over your head. You sit at the edge of the bed and put your pants back on. The bed dips behind you and you feel Jeongguk’s arms enclose around your abdomen and his chin rests on your shoulder. He kisses your cheek gently.
“There is nothing to figure out” he whispers close to your ear.
“Yes. There is the matter of telling Mina about us” you place your hands on his arms and lean into his chest.
Jeongguk sighs and digs his forehead into your shoulder. “I know” he mumbles.
“So” you pat his arms. “Let go of me so that I can go and figure it out for us. Plus it’s her birthday in 2 weeks and I want her to know before then to save everyone any drama that might occur because of us.”
“Us” Jeongguk muses. “I like the sound of that”
 *********
The silence weighs heavy in the air. Mina is chewing on her lip as she deliberates what she has been told. She mumbles and nods to herself which kind of scares you because she only does that when she is angry.
“Say something” you look at her in concern.
“Well, there is nothing to say y/n. He loves you and you love him. I am just mad for not seeing it sooner. I should have picked on it” she sighs in frustration. “Looking back at it, to be honest, I don’t think we ever loved each other” she muses the last part to herself. 
“I am a terrible friend, aren’t I?” you try to swallow back the tears.
“No!” she moves closer to you and wraps one arm around you. “If anything, I have been a bad friend to both you and Jeongguk. We should have broken it off a long time ago”
“Doesn’t make me feel any better. I know you loved him. But I still had these feelings for him. I swear to you I tried my hardest to forget about him. I even dated people I shouldn’t have dated just to distract myself from Jeongguk. I thought maybe I would meet someone worthwhile and I would forget him. But I couldn’t and I am sorry. I am a terrible person and a worse friend”
“I am not going to lie. It’s a little bit weird. I mean you and Jengguk. It feels strange to even say it and I am going to need time to adjust to it and it’s not because I am hurt or disappointed in both of you. I am perfectly okay with you guys dating because Jeeongguk and I were over a long time ago. We just held on because we were too scared to hurt each other” she pauses to look at you and you nod for her to continue. “But I have no feelings for him. It’ll just take me time to get used to seeing you with him just because I dated him too once and now he’s with my best friend. I hope you understand”
Of course, you understood.
“Thanks, Min” you wrap your arms around her in a hug.
“I am happy for you babe” she squeezes you gently.
 *********
Jeongguk’s late.
He’s not winning himself favours by being late. You tap your foot on the footrest of the barstool impatiently, quietly sipping your drink. A sports bar was the last place you wanted to be at, but of course, Mina wants to celebrate her birthday at a place that serves booze. You sigh and signal the bartender for another cocktail. You had no clue Mina knew so many people. But then again she is a social butterfly so there are close to one hundred people present. Somehow she even managed to get a small section of the place cordoned off for her birthday party.
You look at your wristwatch, and the clock keeps ticking. Yet there is no sign of Jeongguk. You crane your neck to check the entrance but it’s as empty as ever.
“Where is your boyfriend?” Mina makes an appearance from her tight schedule as she has to keep floating around between different groups of friends she has.
“What boyfriend?” you scoff, annoyed by Jeongguk’s tardiness.
“Ooh” Mina winces. “He’s in trouble” Mina looks over your shoulder. “Speaking of” she motions her head towards the entrance and none other than Jeon Jeongguk is approaching you with a grin on his face. “That’s my cue” Mina leaves.
“Hi, there stranger” Jeongguk props himself up on the seat next to you.
“Hi” you avoid looking at him and keep your eyes affront.
“So what is a beautiful girl like you doing sitting alone at this bar?” he leans into the palm of his hand as he looks at you, a grin simmering at the corner of his lip.
“Waiting for my boyfriend” you sip your drink.
“Well he’s not a very good boyfriend if he’s making you wait”
“Clearly” you turn to face him.
“Hmm. How about we remedy that?” he offers you his hand.
“Are you making a pass at a committed woman?” you squint your eyes at him
“No. Just asking you for a walk outside” his lips curve into a smile. “Besides, I am a better man than your boyfriend”
“I think all men are the same” you slide your hand into his and he helps you down the stool. You then let go and walk past him towards the entrance.
Outside it’s dark. Cars and buses are passing by and the street is really busy.
“Are you still mad at me?” he slides his hand into yours and interlocks your fingers.
You huff. “I am not mad at you”
“You look mad” he turns on his heels and tugs at your arm to bring you closer and then wraps an arm around your waist. “I am sorry I was late, but I was getting this” he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny red ring case.
“Are you…” your blink furiously as you glance between his face and the case in his hand.
In answer, he opens the ring case and you find one silver ring, embedded with his name on it.
“Jeongguk” you look at him as tears well up in your eyes.
He takes hold of your hand pulls out the ring and slides it onto your ring finger. “It’s a promise ring”
“A promise ring?”
“Jeongguk..” you whisper as your vision gets blurry. “I don’t have a ring” you choke on a sob as tears stream down your cheek. “But I promise that I will be honest with you every step of the way, I will offer you my unconditional support in whatever you choose to do, and that I will love you till the day that I die”
“I promise that each day I spend with you, I will love you. I will choose you every day knowing that you aren’t perfect. I promise I will give this relationship the best of me, and that I will honour your heart and your feelings for the rest of my life” He uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears on your cheeks. 
“You remember when we met the first night at Mina’s house party?” Jeongguk holds both your hands in his as he faces you.
“Of course”
“Do you remember you asked me if I want in?”
You nod again because every single detail about that night is still fresh in your mind.
“Well, I want in. I am all in. With you” Jeongguk dips his head and places a chaste kiss on your lips.
And that was the fourth time in your life you felt like the wind had been knocked out you and it was always because of Jeon Jeongguk.
End.
If you liked reading this, please don’t forget to like/ reblog! Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! It is appreciated ❤️
Interested in more? Click here (m.list from my old blog. Check it out!)
1K notes · View notes
Text
Whumptober Day 3
Now we’re really kicking into high gear on the AUs. This is one of the two AUs for which I’ve written multiple Whumptober fills; this one I’ve been referring to in my head as the Happy Families AU, which is only barely sarcastic, because most of my headcanons for this AU are sickeningly sweet domestic fluff. There’s a few darker bits, though, and that’s what ended up in these fills. 
A couple of notes on this AU setting: Jenseny survived her attempted martyrdom, she ended up leaving the Eastern Continent with Damien and Gerald due to the extreme social unrest there and the lingering prejudice against adepts, and after dealing with Calesta the two of them adopted her. Similar to another AU I’ll be showcasing among these fills, the fae is still Workable and Gerald still has some of his Hunter traits; I’ll go into more detail on my headcanons surrounding that whole topic on a later day, when my head isn’t splitting open from a migraine, which it is currently giving its best shot at. 
Day 3 - Theme Chosen: “Who did this to you?”
“Jen? What's wrong?”
Damien was no adept, but he didn't need to be. He knew something was wrong the moment he walked in the yard. On any other day, his adopted daughter would have been bolting out the front door the moment she heard him reining in his unhorse at the gate; her school let out an hour before he got home from work, and she was invariably waiting, bubbling over with stories about her day. Today, however, the yard had been empty except for the dozing form of their pet weiler, a massive brown-and-black beast named Marchosias that Gerald had picked out – and named – as a puppy two years ago. When Damien unlatched the gate, the dog lifted his blocky head and whuffed once, before rolling over and going back to sleep; reassured that nothing was too terribly awry, Damien had stabled his tired horse, then gone in search of his daughter.
He found her in the sitting room, curled up on the window bench with her homework spread in front of her. She was still wearing the sky blue blouse and ruffled indigo skirt she'd had on when he dropped her off at school that morning, but she'd taken her hair out of its thick braid and let it spill over her shoulders; bent forward over a heavy textbook in her lap, it hung like a curtain, partially shielding her face. Her legs were tucked up alongside her on the cushion, and the position of the door relative to the window meant that Damien was seeing her in profile, limned by the watery autumn sunlight outside. She only barely looked up at him, a sideways flash of her dark brown eyes before her gaze returned to the book in front of her, but her expression was calm and her voice steady when she replied.
“Nothing's wrong, Dad. I just had a long day at school.”
Damien frowned, leaning against the door frame for a moment. Jenseny still didn't look up at him, strangely avoidant; she seemed to only be focusing very hard on whatever she was reading, but the lack of a smile combined with her studiedly level demeanour made a hard knot of anxiety start to form in his gut. He waited a moment, picking his words carefully, before he spoke.
“If something's bothering you, Jen, I'd like to talk about it... but I understand if you don't want to, and you don't have to give me any details if you'd rather not. I'd prefer you to be honest with me, though, so I know it's not something serious.”
Halfway through turning a page, Jenseny's hand froze in midair. The knot in his belly tightening, Damien waited silently. After a moment, Jenseny let go of the page and allowed it to flutter back into place, dropping her hand to rest on her leg where it was tucked up beside her. Damien could see her gnawing on her lip, just a little, her internal war more than obvious; he held himself still, wanting desperately to cross the room and pull her into a hug, but resolved not to pressure her while she made her decision.
Then, hesitantly, she finally turned to face him. She swung her legs off the cushion to do so, sitting upright properly – and as the far side of her face came into view, Damien gasped.
“Jen.”
There was a large, misshapen bruise blooming over her left cheekbone, dark and damning against her warm ochre skin. The facade of calm finally cracked, and Jenseny's lower lip began to tremble, her eyes welling up with a glossy sheen of tears. His heart breaking, Damien was across the room in a few strides, sinking onto the window bench next to her and putting his arm around her; instantly, she sank into him, burying the uninjured side of her face against his shoulder as she muffled a sob. Damien smoothed a hand over her dark curls, the first sparks of fury warring with the sorrow coursing through him.
“Sweetheart, who did this to you?”
For a moment, Jenseny was quiet, though Damien could feel the damp heat of her tears soaking his shirt. When she started to speak, her words were soft and muffled.
“Some of the other kids in my class... don't like me because I'm an adept. They say I shouldn't be in Sheva, because the Forest makes people like me go crazy. The boys mostly just avoid me, and that's fine. I don't need them all to be my friends. Some of the girls, though...”
Of course. Damien felt those sparks of fury start to catch, growing and brightening in his chest. The prejudice of mankind knew no bounds, after all, and even living on a world where the planet's very lifeblood seemed determined to kill them hadn't changed that. He and Gerald had known, when they debated where they were going to live, that there were risks in every answer; Gerald was more than capable of Working a protection that would keep Jenseny shielded from any of the Forest's influence, he was its master after all, but any adept living so close to Jahanna's borders was bound to draw a curious eye or two. They had decided it was worth it, for the distance it afforded from the cities where the Church kept a closer watch, but they had recognized even then that it was far from a perfect solution.
Perhaps more surprising, that the first outright aggression had come from a girl – but it sounded as if it had been more than one, and maybe it wasn't that surprising after all, given how vicious teenage girls could be when emboldened by numbers.
“What did they do?” Damien murmured.
Jenseny pulled in a deep breath and straightened up, wiping at her wet eyes as she choked out the words.
“They cornered me after class. There were five of them – they're the most popular girls in class, they always hang out together. They were making fun of me, saying that I'm going to go crazy too, that I'll probably wind up jumping into the river like that poor man last year... but then, one of them said that I might take somebody else with me.” Jenseny paused for a moment, drawing in a shuddering breath. “The whole mood shifted, I could See them all getting angrier – and they were scared, too. I could feel it pouring off them, and I was so afraid, because it felt – it felt like it used to, in the cities, on the nights when they...”
She trailed off, unable or unwilling to complete the thought, but she didn't have to. Damien felt as if an iron band was squeezing his chest. He knew exactly what she was referring to; those horrific nights, on the Eastern Continent, when the governors of the cities had staked adepts outside in the forest to act as bait for demons. He could only imagine the atmosphere of mingled terror and bloodlust that must have accompanied that practice, and for Jenseny's classmates to be in that same state...
After a few steadying breaths, Jenseny went on. “One of them, the girl that always bosses the others around, said I should leave. That I need to get out of Sheva, and never come back, so I won't make any trouble for normal people.” She shut her eyes, pain flickering over her expression, and Damien felt the first true flames of fury igniting in his heart. “Then they were all shoving me, and one of them tripped me – I didn't see which one – and I hit my face on the side of the flowerbed when I fell.”
When she opened her eyes again, they shone with fresh tears. “I ran straight home, but I didn't – I didn't want to make you and Papa worry. I know it hasn't been easy adjusting to living here, especially for Papa, not having his books or his workrooms anymore... we're all just finally starting to settle in. I don't want us to have to move. I don't want you to be worried every time I'm at school, either. They were all so angry at me, though... I don't know if I can just go back and pretend nothing happened.”
Damien had to close his own eyes for a moment, overcome. God. She's been through so much, and still, her first thoughts are for others. Was I ever that selfless? If I was, I've forgotten what that felt like. Age and loss have made me selfish.
And then. Selfish enough to be willing to do almost anything, to protect my family.
Drawing in a deep breath, Damien opened his eyes and met his daughter's worried gaze steadily. “We're not going to have to move, Jen. And those girls aren't going to hurt you again. I need you to give me their names, though.”
Jenseny's eyes widened, and Damien wondered what she saw, as her eyes flickered over the air around him; he knew she was reading the currents, Seeing the reflection of his emotions in the fae. At last, she whispered the question he'd known was coming.
“What are you going to do?”
“They won't get hurt,” he said quietly, answering the question that she really meant but hadn't quite asked. “But they also won't ever hurt you again.”
Jenseny considered that for a moment. Then, quietly, she gave him the names of the five girls.
“Thank you.” Damien opened his arms for a hug that Jenseny gladly leaned into, then pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her curls. “Why don't you go call Marc in for dinner, and then you can help me make our famous family spaghetti, how does that sound?”
Jenseny's eyes lit up. “That sounds great!” she exclaimed, her natural cheer finally breaking through the melancholy that had gripped her. She kissed his cheek, then bounded off the window bench and headed out of the room. At the doorway, she paused with one hand on the frame and glanced back, her smile falling into something smaller, warmer, and profoundly meaningful.
“Thanks, Dad.”
Then she was gone, around the corner and out the front door, calling enthusiastically for Marchosias. Hearing the dog's booming bark in response, Damien smiled and closed his eyes, reaching for the link that lay between his own soul and his husband's. Currently quiescent, but always present, and only ever a thought away.
Gerald?
A moment later, he felt a warm thrum of acknowledgement, mixed with a thread of concern; Gerald's hours at the city's Historical Archives weren't much different from Damien's hours at the hospital, and it was rare for them to communicate through the link during the work day unless something fairly urgent had happened.
I'm just finishing my last lecture of the day. What's wrong?
Damien opened his eyes in time to see Marchosias go bounding by the sitting room door, an entirely too-large blur of black and brown fur skidding across the polished wood floor as his own enthusiasm exceeded the friction of his paws, Jenseny following after him in a burst of laughter. Damien smiled more widely, and directed another thought down the link.
Tonight, after dinner, we're going... out.
He felt a burst of surprise from his husband, shifting into anticipation and curiosity; Gerald's focus on the link grew, and Damien felt his husband's mind slide against his own, picking through his recent thoughts for an explanation. He offered up the memories of his conversation with their daughter, and felt a flicker of understanding and recognition.
I see. Yes. I couldn't agree more.
As the thoughts intertwined with his own grew dark and hungry, Damien stood and headed for the kitchen to start dinner. He and Gerald might still have their ideological differences, but there was one thing they agreed perfectly on.
No one was ever going to hurt their daughter. Not without answering to them.
4 notes · View notes
musicprincess1990 · 3 years
Note
Sherlolly prompt please? “For science!” and Friends to lovers!
Taken from my Trope Duos prompt list (prompts are now closed).  #16: “For Science!” and, #17: Friends to Lovers.
Two of my absolute favorite tropes together, you’d think it’d be easy to write… but NO, I stared at this prompt for WEEKS before I finally managed this fluffy bit of Teen!lock.  Please forgive my tardiness, and happy reading! (I hope…)
*
For Science
Molly Hooper.
Yes, she would make the perfect test subject.
For some weeks now, Sherlock had been forming an idea in his mind, an idea regarding his future.  He had no desire for the staid and proper career paths to which so many of his peers, and his superiors, subjected themselves.  He much preferred the idea of working on a freelance basis, particularly in regard to his field of choice: criminal justice.  Scotland Yard was out of the question, the “detectives” there were lazy at best, incurably stupid at worst.  No, he would be their consultant, offering a second (superior) pair of eyes whenever they were out of their depth.  It was quite genius, really.
Using the new memory technique he’d learned, Sherlock had begun constructing a palace within his mind, storing any and all information that might be relevant to his career.  Most of it could be found in books, on the internet, or buried within his subconscious, but there was one area in which these methods fell short.  Social and emotional context was best studied on another person, and also in person, with the subject providing both something to observe, and their own descriptions.
Which brought him back to Molly Hooper.  As a young woman who typically wore her heart on her sleeve, the observation aspect would be fairly easy, and despite her being a year behind him, she was in his chemistry class.  Therefore, she would provide much better insight than the other dullards in the school.
Also, there was the matter of her being his only friend.
Not that Sherlock minded, he couldn’t care less what the rest of the idiots in the school thought of him.  They were, as previously stated, idiots, and he aimed to keep such people at as far a distance as possible.  That said, it would be difficult to convince anyone with whom he was not on good terms to assist him in any experiments, much less this particular one.  Fortunately, he did have Molly, and her innate kindness and similar interest in the sciences substantially increased the chances of her accepting.
His decision made, Sherlock waited until lunch and sought her out in the dining hall.  As usual, he found her seated in a corner table, isolated from the rest of their classmates.  Unlike him, Molly actually liked people, but her shy disposition kept her from reaching out to them.  The two of them would never have been friends, had they not been assigned to one another as lab partners.  The year had set off to a rocky start (Molly timid and stammering and occasionally clumsy, Sherlock aloof and insistent that he preferred to work alone), but over time, he had grown to respect her intellect, so obviously above the cattle surrounding them.  In turn, she had found her strength, no longer stammered, and was unafraid of standing up to him.  Granted, some things had been easier before she’d grown a spine, but he found her much more interesting now, and, most surprising of all, she never bored him.
The focus of his thoughts lifted her head as he approached the table, her usual grin curling her lips.  “Hello, Sherlock!” she greeted cheerfully.
He offered a nod of his head, taking the seat opposite her.  “Molly.  Enjoying the roast pork?”
Molly glanced down at the barely-touched meat and gravy on her tray, wrinkling her nose.  “Not particularly, no.  The potatoes are rubbish as well.  Still,” she added, “it’s better than nothing, I suppose.”
“Mm, debatable,” he countered, and she rolled her eyes with a fond smile.
“Well, most of us need to eat regular meals, Sherlock.”
He groaned dramatically.  “How unbearably dull.”
Molly sniggered, then took a purposeful bite of the roast pork, holding his gaze the entire time.  She grimaced, but did not look away, even after she had swallowed the disgusting food.  “There, see?  I’m not afraid of doing unpleasant things.”
Sherlock raised an eyebrow at her in response, then used her bold statement as his means of changing the subject.  “Speaking of which,” he began, “I have rather an unusual experiment I’m hoping to undertake, and I’ll need assistance.  After some consideration, I’ve decided you would be best suited to help me.”
It was Molly’s turn to lift an eyebrow.  “Had to sit and think about that one, did you?”
“Yes, well, I never said it was a lengthy period of consideration, did I?”
Molly speared another bite of pork.  “Right, come on then.  What’s this experiment?”
“Kissing.”
The fork clattered onto the tray, sending several drops of watery gravy splattering in all directions.  Sherlock frowned and scooted backwards to avoid the spray.  “What the hell was that about?”
Molly’s eyes, already bordering on too big for her face, nearly doubled in size.  “Y-you… you want to… that is…”
“Really, Molly, I thought we’d gotten past the stammering by now.”
“Don’t be a git, Sherlock,” she snapped, and he noted with satisfaction that her voice was much steadier.  “Explain yourself.”
Sherlock sighed and leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table (thankfully, the gravy eruption had not reached his side of the table).  “You already know my career plans, of course.”  She nodded in confirmation.  “It has recently come to my attention that certain behaviors, certain… reactions… would be most helpful to understand.  Particularly the reactions following specific forms of sexual stimuli.”
Molly blinked a few times.  “So… you want to know what it looks and feels like to be kissed?”
“That’s rather oversimplifying the matter, but… essentially, yes.”
She fixed her eyes on a spot of stray gravy, gnawing thoughtfully on her lower lip.  Sherlock waited, mustering no small amount of patience to do so, knowing if he pressed the matter, she would be far less agreeable.  Finally, she lifted her eyes to meet his.  “This is all just… an experiment?  Strictly for science?”
“Of course,” he nodded.
Molly inhaled slowly, deeply through her nose, and Sherlock saw the decision in her eyes before she vocalized it.  “Okay.  I’ll do it.”
*
Two days later, on an unusually sunny Saturday, Sherlock and Molly took the weekly bus into the nearby town, and made for the most secluded spot available: a little cluster of trees within the town’s small park.  The boughs of four fir trees, standing close together, created a nearly fully enclosed space, the gaps just wide enough to slip through sideways.  Molly grinned to herself at the smell of pine and earth, grateful for the memories and the brief distraction it brought.  Too brief, she mused, as Sherlock sidled in behind her, reminding her of the reason for this unorthodox destination.
Her nerves were sky-high as he invaded her space, his fingers gently closing around her upper arm to turn her around.  Molly didn’t meet his eyes immediately, opting to focus on his shirt buttons (bad idea, they were straining to keep their place against his surprisingly toned torso), counting to three in her mind before finally lifting her head.
…And finding the same nervousness in his face..
“Right,” he murmured, his voice breaking so slightly, she thought she must have imagined it.  “So… shall we?”
Molly swallowed thickly.  “Well, ah…  first let’s… let’s talk about some of the… chemical reactions.  You’ve done, erm, some research on that?”
“Yes,” he said a bit too loudly, clearly grateful for the delay.  He cleared his throat.  “Preliminary research indicates that the act of kissing another human being produces a flood of dopamine, serotonin, and, in cases of great affection in one or both parties, oxytocin.”
“Mmhmm,” she nodded.  “What else?”
“Physiological signs of this release of chemicals include flushed cheeks, dilated pupils, elevated pulse, and labored, erratic breathing.  And, in the male’s case, there may even be an erection.”
Molly fought the embarrassed blush that bloomed beneath her cheeks at his use of… that word.  “Right, well… I think that, erm… just about covers it.”
Sherlock, whose expression had become passive as he recited the science behind kissing, snapped his gaze in her direction.  He looked… well, he looked properly terrified, to be honest, like she’d just told him his mother was coming for an impromptu visit (which had happened once, though the headmaster had been the one to inform him, rather than Molly).  Certainly not for the first time, Molly wondered if this really was such a good idea.  Yes, she’d secretly fancied Sherlock since she clapped eyes on him.  Yes, she’d fantasized about snogging him on numerous occasions, though usually in a more romantic setting.  And yes, she was also aware that this was as close to that fantasy as she would ever get.  But if he was going to be miserable the whole time… she couldn’t do it.
“Look, Sherlock, we don’t have to do this.  I know you want to gain as much knowledge as you can, anything that might help your career, but if you don’t want to kiss me—”
“It’s not that,” he interrupted her, his eyes downcast.
“Oh… then… you do want to?”
“No.”
“No?” she parroted back, just a little bit hurt.
He hesitated, a familiar little crinkle forming between his brows as he pondered this.  Molly had a feeling that crinkle would become much more prominent in a few years, as often as she saw it.  Finally, he looked at her, his crystalline eyes wide and worried.  “I’ve never kissed anyone.”
Molly paused, waiting for the rest of his explanation… but after a few moments of silence, it became clear that that was the whole explanation.  “Well, I sort of knew that… I mean, if you had, you wouldn’t be carrying out a snogging experiment, would you?”
Sherlock was perfectly still for fully ten seconds, before finally asking, “So… you don’t mind?”
“Of course not!” she laughed, taking care that she didn’t come off as mocking him.  “It’s not like I’ve been snogging boys left and right myself.  I’ve only had one real boyfriend, and... well... you know how that turned out.”
“Hm, yes I remember,” he mused.  "How is dear Jim faring in prison, I wonder?"
"Who cares?" she muttered.  "My point is, you don't need to be self-conscious."
"I'm not…" he began, but cut himself off when he saw the look of annoyance Molly gave him.  "Okay, fine.  I may be the slightest bit out of my depth here "
Molly smiled.  "I should be recording this."
"Don't make jokes, Molly."
"Don't be a prat, Sherlock."
"I'm not—" he was cut off again, this time by Molly, who had abruptly grabbed his face and crushed her lips against his.  Sherlock instinctively closed his eyes as his mind raced to process all the new data and stimuli presented to him.
Warm… soft… smells like cinnamon… wonder if she tastes like it too?  As if reading his thoughts, Molly's lips parted on a breathy sigh, and Sherlock slid his tongue out to taste her.  Mmm, yes, tastes like cinnam—oh, God…  Her hands had drifted upward, fingers carding through his hair, and he simultaneously shivered and flushed, heat spreading all the way down to his toes.
In the back of his mind, a voice whispered that he was supposed to be doing something… but for the life of him, he couldn't remember what it was.  All he could think was, not enough.  She wasn't close enough, he wasn't touching her enough.  Well, he soon remedied that, firmly locking his arms around her and lifting her off the ground.  Molly gasped against his lips, and the sound sent another flash of heat through him.  A quiet groan met his ears, and as her wide, startled eyes met his, he realized it had come from him.
They remained still, eyes locked and panting for breath, before Sherlock slowly lowered Molly back to the ground.  His arms dropped limply by his sides, and she took a step backward, avoiding his gaze.  At one point, her eyes did stray in his direction, and the pink blush on her cheeks darkened.  Sherlock followed the trajectory id that embarrassed glance, and found—oh.  Well, he had been enjoying himself, hadn't he?
"I-I’m sorry," she stammered.
He frowned.  "Why on earth are you sorry?"
Molly shrugged one shoulder, still not looking at him.  "I dunno… I just… it's fine," she mumbled quietly as her arms wrapped around her middle.
Sherlock watched her begin to shrink into herself, and felt a painful tug against his navel.  In his current, befuddled state, he did not pause to think about what he was doing, he simply acted.  His hands found her shoulders, gently pulling her back toward him. She stiffened, and he held his breath, as if the slightest puff of air would send her running.  Her dark eyes lifted, and finally, the scientific portion of his brain kicked in, noting the physiological signs in her.  Eyes dilated… face flushed… breathing irregular… his left hand shifted slowly up along her neck… elevated pulse.
He couldn't help the gratified smirk he felt stretching across his face.  Molly's eyebrowed pulled together in confusion.  "I'm afraid the results of this experiment were rather… inconclusive."  Cradling her face in both hands, he bent his head, his intent obvious.  "Further study is required."
Molly grinned, all shyness cast aside, and her fingers toyed with the collar of his coat.  "Well… I suppose I can manage that.  In the name of science," she added with mock seriousness.
Sherlock dove in and captured her lips again, hoisting her up off her feet as he had before.  This time, Molly's legs wrapped around his waist, and she eagerly kissed him back.  And as the endorphins and hormones flooded his brain once more, Sherlock decided this was easily the best idea he'd ever had.
50 notes · View notes
angstysebfan · 4 years
Text
You Never Said (One Shot)
Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Requested by @iamwarrenspeace​. Hope this is ok!
Tumblr media
Bucky’s POV
Bucky loved the weekdays. Most people can’t wait for the weekend, but Bucky was the complete opposite. That could be because you work in the tower Monday thru Friday. Bucky had a major crush on you... well more like he was falling in love with you. He couldn’t help it, really. You were so beautiful inside and out. 
You have been working with the Avengers for about 4 years. You were a field agent, going out on missions with the team from time to time, but then you went into more of a behind the scenes roll. The team loved you. You always provided a smile, or sound advice whenever they needed it. They hated when you went off missions.
You and Bucky met when you were on a mission with him. He was taken aback by your beauty and personality and immediately took a liking toward you. He wanted to get to know you, but then you stopped going on missions. He would seek you out and have lunch with you just to be near you. Bucky fell further and further in love with you. 
When the Covid-19 pandemic came around, the Avengers compound turned into a safe house for people to quarantine. Bucky so hoped that you would rather spend time in the compound with him then home alone. He is sitting in the common room with the rest of the team when you walked in with a duffel bag.
“Hey Y/N, why don’t you stay here with us?”, Nat asked. “Yeah, we can girls night every night!”, Wanda said bouncing. You gave them that big smile that melted Bucky’s heart every time. “Sorry girls, I need to be with my family during this. But please promise you will all be safe. I’ll see you all soon!” you said as you waved, walking towards the elevators.
Bucky couldn’t help but be disappointed, but he understood. She should help take care of her family. Maybe her parents are older and she helps look after them. He just wishes he could spend more time with you and learn more about you. He just wants you.
- Time Jump -
The city has finally opened back up slowly. They are currently entering Phase 3, which allow small groups to gather, but keep the social distance. It’s been a long few months, and all Bucky wants to do is see you. He misses your face, and the sound of your voice. He was too nervous to call you, but he would text you asking how things were going, but it wasn’t enough.
The whole team knows how much Bucky likes you, and feels that you feel the same way. He is the only one, besides the girls, that you will sit and have lunch with. You always give him a hug when he leaves for missions, and you always smile at him when he talks to you.
“Why don’t we go pay Y/N a visit!” Tony says on a beautiful sunny Saturday. Bucky’s heart rate starts to increase at the possibility of seeing you again. The whole team is in agreement. They decide to surprise you, seeing as you all get along so well, they know you won’t mind them dropping by.
Soon after they got your address from FRIDAY, they headed over. They were surprised when they pulled into a neighborhood of large houses. They pulled up to a beautiful two story house with a porch.
Bucky day there and thought this is exactly the type of house he wants when he retires. Who knows if he plays his cards right, he could buy it off your parents when you both get married. I mean, not that he thinks about that.
There were two children playing in the front yard, and boy about 6 years of age and a girl about 4. Bucky questioned who they were, but pinned it to being your niece and nephew.
“Avery! Madison! Come inside for lunch!” You called from the front door. Bucky saw you pause when you saw the group of superheroes standing on your lawn. Once you ushered the kids inside you called in, “Pete, get them started I will be right in.”
Bucky frowned at that. Who the hell is Pete? You made your way to the group with that beautiful smile Bucky loved. His heart started fluttering as you came over. “What are you guys doing here?” You said.
“We missed our favorite Ops agent and decided to pay you a visit. We didn’t realize you already had company.” Tony said. You furrowed your brows. “Well I have company now, but no one else is here. Should there be?” You ask.
The team was completely confused. Nat was the first to speak. “Uh, who were those kids?” She asked. You gave a loving smile, which made Bucky’s heart drop into his stomach. He knew the answer and it broke his heart in pieces.
“Come on, I’ll introduce you.” You said leading them to your porch. You called your family out to the porch and waited. Bucky couldn’t look at you anymore. He felt like he couldn’t breath. How did you keep that kind of secret? You had to know how he felt about you!
The two children and a rather big man Bucky recognized walked out of the front door. You introduced the kids as your son and daughter and “Pete” or as he is also known as Piotr "Peter" Nikolaievitch Rasputin or “Colossus”, as your husband.
Bucky felt like he was going to be sick. He turned and left the group and ran down the street. He had to get away from this situation, from you. How could you not tell him you were married!? How could you lead him on like that!?
Readers POV
You watched Bucky leave and felt guilty. You had a feeling Bucky liked you more then a friend, but never stopped it. You kept your marriage a secret for your husbands sake, but you should have told Bucky when you realized what was happening.
You told your husband and kids to go back inside. When you turned back to the group you saw their disappointment. “Is... is he going to be alright?” You asked.
Steve gave you a small smile, “He will be fine.” You nodded. “I’m sorry I kept this from you. As you all realized by seeing him, I needed to keep my marriage a secret. He even wanted it to be kept away from you.” You said.
“We understand Y/N.” Tony said. You smiled. “Please tell Bucky I’m sorry if He felt I was leading him on. I do care about him, but only as a friend.” You said. “I will be coming back to the tower on Monday and I would hate for it to be awkward.”
The team nodded and started to depart. Steve looked at you, “Give Buck some time. He was really hung up on you.” He said as he walked away.
You stood on your porch and watched them pile back into their cars and head out waving goodbye. Pete came back outside and wrapped his arms around you. You leaned against him and he kissed the top of your head. You smiled up at him, “I love you.” You said.
Bucky’s POV
Bucky made it back to the compound and went straight to his room. He grabbed an empty box and threw everything that reminded him of you into it.
He finally laid in bed and stared at the ceiling. Where did he go wrong? He thought he made his feelings clear. He could never compare to your husband! Maybe he was just not meant to find love. Maybe his time was in the 40’s.
Maybe he was meant to be alone.
Taglist: @hailmary-yramliah, @tuiccim, @comedictragedy
194 notes · View notes
aliciameade · 4 years
Text
Ready Or Not
Title: Ready Or Not Author: aliciameade Rating: E for Every Lady Gets an Orgasm Pairing: Beca/Chloe Summary: AND THEY WERE QUARANTINED.
Also on AO3
Tumblr media
It’s funny, Beca thinks, how you can live with someone for years going about your separate but intertwined lives that when your government tells you to stay inside, to only socialize with the people you share a home with, how quickly things can change.
“Chloe, will you please turn off the news? I can’t listen to that idiot anymore.”
“Sorry; it’s like a train wreck. I can’t look away.” Chloe finds the remote in the cushions of the couch and changes the channel to the E! Network.
The news isn’t much different there; they’re showing videos celebrities have posted on social media about how bored they are or singing off-key versions of ‘Imagine’ to try to uplift the public only for the anchors, two of them standing six-feet apart, to debate whether or not such things are in poor taste.
“Are we supposed to feel bad for these multi-millionaires being stuck in their mansions with their huge yards and private swimming pools?” is the point being argued.
“Yeah, boohoo,” Beca says as she drops onto the couch next to Chloe. She’d gone to the kitchen to get a new bag of chips but managed to make a healthier decision and came back with a bowl of grapes instead. “We don’t even have a pool.”
“But at least we don’t have a bathtub in our kitchen anymore,” Chloe says as she helps herself to a few of Beca’s grapes.
Beca nods in response. This whole social distancing thing would have been a lot more irritating if it had happened last year when she and Chloe shared an impossibly small studio apartment (if you could even call it that) with Fat Amy. The thought of being locked in that space for weeks makes Beca’s skin crawl. She loves Amy, but she is not the tidiest or quietest of roommates.
She glances at Chloe, fresh-faced and hair damp after the shower she just took, tucked into her couch-nest with a fuzzy blanket and thinks there are about a million worse scenarios she could be stuck in than this one.
It had been nice to get that paycheck from Khaled’s record label. It had been just as nice for Amy to get access to the hundred-plus million dollars she somehow had. They were able to part ways without the guilt and drama Amy was prone to when asked to take responsibility for something. She’d been eager to drop a cool ten million on a house in the South of France. It made Beca’s job of breaking the news that she wouldn’t be renewing their lease a lot easier.
She’s still not quite sure how it happened, though. Maybe it was because Chloe was the only one who didn’t suddenly have an unnecessary amount of money at her disposal. Maybe it was because their orbits were always drawn to one another.
But when Beca moved to Los Angeles and bought a house, Chloe rush-applied to area veterinary schools to beat the looming application deadlines and managed to get into one.
They hadn’t even really discussed it. “Beca moving to LA” was inclusive of “Chloe moving to LA to live with Beca.”
“Maybe I shouldn’t post that video of us playing catch out back,” Beca says as they watch the debate about people who are privileged and whether they are out of touch with reality or if hardship and inconvenience is relative.
“Maybe not,” Chloe agrees.
It’s not that Beca thinks she’d ever show up as a debate topic on tabloid television, but she’d rather not risk it.
“What do you want to do today? And don’t say Monopoly,” she adds as soon as Chloe’s mouth opens to answer.
Chloe immediately whines. “But I want us to play!”
“And I want us to still be friends when this is over,” Beca says with a biting, sarcastic smile.
“Ooh, I know!” Chloe says, unfazed by Beca’s rejection. “Let’s get drunk!”
“That’s not really an activity…” Beca says but she knows she’s going to lose this debate.
Chloe’s already detangling herself from her blanket and heading toward the kitchen. “If getting drunk at 3:00 in the afternoon isn’t acceptable during a viral pandemic, then when  is it?”
Beca just shakes her head. She’s opposed to the idea, it’s just that Chloe is so...Chloe.
Chloe who usually gets her way, not because she’s a good negotiator but because Beca finds it almost impossible to tell her ‘no.’ (Activities that would lead to contempt and arguing like a game of Monopoly are exceptions.)
“Beer or wine?” Chloe calls from the other room.
“I don’t care,” Beca yells back. If there’s one thing they stocked up on far more than she knows was necessary, it was alcohol.
She should have made a choice. She knows better. When Chloe returns, she’s holding a bottle of expensive tequila, a shot glass nestled in one of two tumblers, and a plastic bowl of ice.
“Oh, whoa, seriously?” she says as Chloe sets her wares down on the smooth black coffee table with a smile. Shots of tequila weren’t exactly what Beca had in mind.
“Calm down, I have to make another trip. I’m making margaritas.”
Not that she wouldn’t have done them if that had been Chloe’s intention.
~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~ - ~
“You know what we should do?”
Beca looks down at Chloe who’s using Beca’s leg as a pillow. “Hmm?”
“We should play hide-and-seek!”
Beca’s not sure what she expected Chloe to propose, but it definitely wasn’t that. “Dude, what?”
“Yeah!” Chloe says, suddenly full of energy after dozing on the couch for a few minutes. She scrambles to sit up. “Come on; it’ll be fun!”
All she can do is stare at her and her dumb, pretty face. “Fine,” she relents (much too easily).
Chloe squeals and immediately covers her eyes with her hands. “I’ll count to 100. Go.”
Beca’s reluctant agreement morphs into nervous adrenaline as soon as Chloe begins counting and she leaps off the couch, stumbling when her foot gets caught in Chloe’s blanket.
She hears Chloe laugh through her numbers and realizes Chloe can hear her route. She mutes her steps, creeping quickly but quietly away as her mind races for the optimal hiding spot.
Then she’s got it.
She walks as lightly as she can through the house until she’s taking the stairs two at a time to get to what will eventually be an office or study (she hates herself a little that she bought a house that will have a study in it). It’s still empty save for a few dozen books on the shelves, some of them novels, some of them old textbooks. The room has a closet and when Beca had been scoping out good storage spots in the house for things like seasonal decorations, she’d found what was arguably a creepy-as-fuck hidden door in the wall of the closet.
She never got around to telling Chloe about it; she’d been at a day-long lab that Beca didn’t want to interrupt with a text and then she promptly forgot about it.
Until now.
She creeps through the second floor, wincing when she hits a squeaky floorboard in the hallway. The rest of her journey is silent, though, and she pops open the push-latch door to slip inside and close it behind her.
She can hear Chloe’s voice faintly yelling, “Ready or not, here I come!” and regrets not bringing her phone with her.
There’s no way Chloe’s going to find her any time soon. Plus, it’s pitch-dark.
Chloe’s voice echoes around the house, taunting Beca as she searches downstairs. It makes Beca snicker because Chloe is way, way off until she can tell she’s making her way up the stairs.
“You could at least make it difficult for me,” Chloe says somewhere in the hallway, still taunting as if it will goad Beca into revealing herself.
She can hear her opening and closing closet doors in the hall and the other rooms but she remains confident even when she can hear Chloe’s voice quite clearly from the study a few feet away.
“Come out, come out, wherever you are,” Chloe sing-songs and Beca hates that it makes her anxious. Her voice is louder like she’s just outside the door that Chloe doesn’t even know exists when it suddenly pops open, blinding Beca with a flood of light.
“Gotcha!” Chloe says with a jump of victory but Beca’s too quick for her, something her petite stature is good for. 
She scrambles out of the closet and past Chloe. “You didn’t tag me!” she yells, grinning as she launches into a full sprint, nearly sliding down the stairs to make it back to the couch in time.
“We didn’t declare a home base!” Chloe shrieks behind her and Beca can hear her running, too.
“It’s the couch!”
“Not fair!” Chloe yells and Beca hears her on the steps.
It makes her launch herself onto the couch, right over the arm of it and she scrambles for the blanket to hide under even though she’s already safe; it’s silly adrenaline and she can’t stop smiling as she hears Chloe in a full-out run through the living room.
“No!” Her cry of defeat is nearly a wail and Beca’s still savoring victory when the wind is nearly knocked out of her.
“Dude!” she says when Chloe lands right on top of her. “I made it back, you can’t tag me!”
She fights to hang on to the blanket as Chloe tugs it away until it’s off her face, leaving Beca to sputter and try to blow hair out of her eyes. She stops when she sees Chloe above her, face flushed from excitement and exertion smiling down at her. But the smile is fading, bit by bit, into something else and it feels like the air around them shifts.
“You cheated,” Chloe says.
Beca has to swallow the sudden lump in her throat. “Not my fault you don’t know the rules.”
She keeps waiting for Chloe to move off her and let her up, to tell her it’s Beca’s turn to count and Chloe’s turn to hide, but instead, Chloe seems to get heavier, to press Beca further into the couch beneath her.
An eternity seems to pass. She struggles to keep her gaze steady; it’s hard to hold eye contact with Chloe in a normal setting: they’re so bright and full of life. It’s a relief when Chloe’s are the first to break eye contact but only until Beca realizes Chloe’s focus shifted, albeit briefly, to her lips.
Her heart had been racing from the excitement of the game and the thrill of the win but suddenly it’s for an entirely different reason.
When Chloe looks up again Beca can’t help but let her own eyes flick down, almost feeling like if Chloe was allowed to, Beca should be allowed to, too. It’s subconscious for Beca to wet her lips when she sees the way Chloe’s are parted the tiniest bit.
Her mind races as quickly as her heart. She’s thought about this so many times over their decade of friendship. The way they’ve always danced around each other (while still dancing with each other all the time). How it wasn’t even up for debate that Chloe would move to Los Angeles, too. How she didn’t hesitate to put the house in both their names, not just her own. How she’s been a little bit (a lot) in love with her friend for so many years.
She wonders if Chloe’s moving closer or if it’s her imagination. If she is, she’s moving so slowly it’s almost indiscernible, but her eyes keep flicking down and back up. It’s excruciating to wait to find out what is about to happen. What Beca thinks is about to happen.
What Beca decides to make happen as she lifts her head and presses her lips to Chloe’s.
It’s another eternal moment but it passes in the blink of an eye.
There’s some kind of sound from Chloe, maybe a whimper?, and Beca’s not quite finished regretting her actions that will surely make things super weird between them when Chloe’s tongue slips across her lips and into Beca’s mouth.
It shouldn’t happen so fast. It shouldn’t be so natural for Beca to tilt her head to the left just as Chloe tilts hers. She shouldn’t feel so hot so quickly; Chloe helps as much as she contributes to it, suddenly tugging at the blanket between them to let it fall to the floor. It gives Beca a second of cool air before Chloe’s body is on her instead. It shouldn’t be so mindless for her to twist her hips and part her knees so Chloe can fit against her more comfortably.
It shouldn’t be a lot of things, but Beca stops listing off all the things it shouldn’t be in favor of all the things it is.
Like how desperate and heated their kiss has become. How Chloe doesn’t seem to know what to do with her hands since this began in a slightly awkward position but doesn’t quite want to stop to rearrange herself so instead her fingers bury themselves in Beca’s hair.
Beca doesn’t have the same problem. Her hands are free to roam, and she lets them roam.
Chloe’s back is solid beneath her hands. She can feel it every time Chloe takes a breath. They’re uneven and deep and in synch with Beca’s because the only chance they have to take in air is when Chloe lifts her mouth from Beca’s. Even the few seconds they spare for oxygen feel like too much time apart for Beca and she finds herself chasing Chloe’s lips even though they’re both breathing hard.
She catches Chloe off-guard, cutting into their oxygen break with her tongue. She’s thought endlessly of what it would be like to frame Chloe’s perfect face with her hands, tilt it to the angle she wants, and keep her there to make her submit to whatever Beca wants to do to her mouth.
The moan that escapes Chloe when Beca does just that, tongue pushing far into Chloe’s mouth to explore before retreating to start licking over Chloe’s makes a sound escape Beca, too.
It’s as though the mutual audible release is gasoline to a lit match.
Chloe’s entire body shifts forward into Beca and it makes Beca moan again and give up the brief control she had as Chloe kisses her so hard her head presses uncomfortably against the arm of the couch. Her neck is going to be killing her tomorrow but she doesn’t care. There’s only one thing aching right now and it’s between her legs where Chloe’s hips are resting, though they’re hardly at rest.
Beca doesn’t know at what point they started moving together but her hips are lifting to meet Chloe’s every time Chloe’s rock forward into her. 
She parts her knees further until she finally just gives in and hooks her left leg, the one not pinned against the back of the couch, around Chloe’s waist.
She hears her name on Chloe’s lips, an exhale between kisses that somehow keep getting hotter and wetter...just like she is elsewhere. Chloe’s hips shift their angle; it’s subtle but the difference is immense and the moan that escapes Beca when Chloe rocks into her in the exact right place is almost embarrassing.
She doesn’t have time for embarrassment, though. Not when Chloe pulls back from the kiss to look down at her. Her slow, steady pace doesn’t let up, though, and Beca knows she just wants to see Beca’s face while she does it. She knows because if their roles were reversed, she’d want to see Chloe’s reaction, too.
It’s intense to be watched this way. She wonders if Chloe is fully aware of just how much she’s affecting Beca, if she’s thinking about how far this could go or how quickly. If she wants it to.
The way she’s looking down at Beca, though, her eyes dark as she finally starts to adjust herself so her arms aren’t trapped, tell Beca Chloe isn’t thinking about stopping.
Beca’s fine with that.
She moves with Chloe, both of them shifting down on the couch so Beca’s neck isn’t stuck at a terrible angle and so Chloe can finally prop herself up on an elbow. She watches—and feels—Chloe’s hand ease out of her hair, fingertips drifting along Beca’s cheek and jawline to her neck. They stroke softly there, along her throat and Beca swallows. Chloe’s watching so intently, both where her fingers travel and how Beca responds to them.
She wants to ask for more but isn’t quite sure. Isn’t quite sure if this is cabin fever and a brief (it has been anything but brief) make-out session between bored, tipsy close friends. Isn’t quite sure what it will mean for them if she lets go of what little self-control she’s maintaining and rocks herself into Chloe until she comes.
She lets her own hands roam again, beyond Chloe’s back and neck and shoulders and hair to her throat, mirroring with both hands how Chloe’s fingers are touching her. Her skin is hot beneath Beca’s fingers and she can feel under her jaw the way her heart is pounding. She can feel how she swallows when Beca’s fingers find the dip between her clavicles and how her breathing speeds up after easing during their momentary break from kissing as Beca’s fingernails trace along the smooth skin along her décolletage. There’s so much of it on display.
Chloe’s touch is now following Beca’s, drawing lines and circles along the edge of her V-neck tee. 
Beca gets stuck, though; Chloe’s skin feels so nice under her fingers and she’s never touched her, not like this, along the lines of her collar bones and the tendons in her neck and the slight dip that will give way to cleavage if she were to follow it. She gets stuck but Chloe doesn’t. Chloe’s touch finally breaks past the collar of Beca’s shirt to travel lower, over the thin material. It only takes a second or two before her fingers are grazing over the curve of Beca’s left breast.
Beca’s entire body tries to arch into it, a reaction that makes Chloe’s jaw drop, which is the last thing Beca sees before her eyes close when Chloe leans down to start kissing her again.
She whines a little, starting to feel desperate (an understatement) for release. 
The sound seems to spur Chloe on, her kiss quickly returning to the deep, passionate exchanges they’ve been sharing. The hand at Beca’s breast gets more daring, more exploratory and Beca knows when Chloe finds its peak, not because she feels it (God, she feels it) but because Chloe’s touch slows, circling the surely visible rise.
Beca’s hands just fall away from Chloe, not because she doesn’t want to touch her but because her brain’s ability to do more than one thing at a time is being reduced. Meeting Chloe’s tongue and lips and pushing her hips into her, again and again, is about all she can manage.
Chloe must read her mini-collapse as further surrender (it was, really) because her exploratory touch, circling Beca’s nipple again and again with the edge of her fingernail, suddenly changes. Her fingers close against it and Beca’s thin bra and shirt might as well be nonexistent for as much as she feels it. Beca groans and her hips throw themselves up into Chloe with needy force and Chloe echoes her, pushing into Beca harder, her pace suddenly increasing.
It’s so difficult to breathe with Chloe’s tongue filling her mouth again and again but Beca’s ready to suffocate before she gives it up.
She also knows she’s going to come. Soon. She’s resigned herself to it and will deal with the consequences later; she feels she has a solid defense: Chloe tonguefucking her mouth the way she has been is a pretty stellar excuse.
She doesn’t know where the fuck she learned to kiss like this, but Beca is so, so grateful.
She can hear herself moaning, can hear how often it’s happening. She can hear Chloe, too, and the sound is turning Beca on almost as much as the way Chloe’s touching her.
The incessant attention to her nipple disappears and she whines in protest but all Chloe does is shush her and then kiss her more deeply. She feels Chloe’s hand on her stomach and sucks it in not out of vanity but because it almost tickles. But her hand is steady; it doesn’t linger to risk bumping into what are Beca’s few ticklish spots (Chloe knows them well). It moves confidently lower and Beca gasps when she feels her fingertips move over the waistband of her leggings because there’s only one reason Chloe’s hand would be moving in that direction.
The sound she makes when Chloe’s fingers graze between her legs, over the thin, form-fitting material of her pants, is obscene.
It makes Chloe’s mouth rip away from hers. “Fuck, Bec, you’re so wet.”
Beca hadn’t thought of that; she hadn’t thought about the fact that she was in leggings and nothing else because why did she need to be for a day of lounging around and what would happen if she ended up grinding with Chloe on the couch.
If Chloe means for her to respond she doesn’t give her enough time to do so. Her mouth is on Beca’s again to swallow Beca’s pitiful groan as fingers press down firmly against her. Now she can feel what Chloe felt, the soaked fabric slipping against her body with every lift of her hips.
As suddenly as Chloe cut her off her kiss ends again and Beca watches her lift herself a little higher; she wonders what she’s doing until she realizes Chloe’s not looking at her. 
Well, not looking at her face, anyway.
Her focus now is between their bodies, specifically between Beca’s legs where her fingers are starting to rub and stroke, cutting the time Beca knows she has to wait to come in half, if not more.
She tries to say Chloe’s name but it gets caught in her throat when Chloe shifts from watching, awestruck, as her fingers touch Beca to dropping her hips to pin her hand between them and against Beca.
She moans in Beca’s ear, not quite making it back to her mouth. Beca knows her supporting arm has to be tired but Chloe not stopping is so hot and sexy. Her own arms finally work and she yanks them out from between their bodies to wrap them around Chloe, to run them up her back and into her hair to hold on.
She has to hold on because Chloe’s hips are bucking into her like she’s really fucking her (and she is really fucking her) and the urgency of her moans and gasping breaths in Beca’s ear make it register that not only is she fucking Beca now, with her hand where it is, she’s fucking herself, rutting against the back of her own hand.
It’s hard and fast now; there’s no teasing or precision touching. It’s contact and friction and neither of them need more than that.
Beca’s first to slip, the nonstop assault on her senses becoming too overwhelming. Chloe moaning in her ear on the verge of ecstasy. Chloe’s hips and Chloe’s fingers grinding and rocking against her. The now phantom memories of Chloe’s tongue twisting around Beca’s and fingertips pinching and rubbing her nipple.
She holds on, not thinking about whether or not her fingernails are scratching Chloe’s shoulders or if she’s pulling too hard on her hair, as her body rocks into an orgasm she’s been waiting to experience for ten years.
She hears Chloe and knows they’re coming together, an uncoordinated yet simultaneous release of energy and stress and tension that somehow increases in intensity as it unfurls between them until there’s what could be a sob in her ear. It’s not, though; it’s just Chloe coming down from her orgasm.
Something Beca never, ever thought she would actually bear witness to.
Chloe’s body is heavy on hers, no longer holding herself up at all but Beca doesn’t care. She just pushes Chloe’s hair out of her face and over Chloe’s shoulder so she can turn her head and put her mouth on Chloe’s heated neck, immediately sucking a mark into it. Everything feels so primal, so raw, even in the increasing afterglow but she’s spent.
She’s so, so spent.
If Chloe’s delay in moving at all, in any way other than her fingers which are still rubbing against Beca, is any indicator, she’s spent, too.
There’s a long, heavy sigh in her ear and Beca releases freshly purpled skin and feels her body fully sag into the couch, Chloe’s pleasant weight keeping her from floating away.
Chloe does start to move after a few minutes of quiet sighs and slow, sometimes chaste, sometimes sensual kisses and when she finally removes her hand its absence leaves Beca feeling cold and needy, despite what just happened.
“Bec—” Chloe starts and something about her faces tells Beca she’s about to apologize or in some way dismiss what just happened.
“That was amazing,” Beca says to interrupt whatever Chloe might have been thinking about saying.
A smile of relief breaks on Chloe’s flushed face and she drops down to kiss Beca again, hard and happy before she’s pulling away with finality. They’re a fair bit entangled and they’re both laughing by the time Chloe tiredly gets back onto her knees to fall back onto her ass at the other end of the couch.
She doesn’t offer Beca a helping hand to sit up, but Beca honestly doesn’t blame her. Chloe just did all the work; it’s the least she can do to push herself up until they’re sitting, both still red-faced and not quite breathing normally, on opposite ends of the couch.
“Just...give me a minute,” Chloe says before her head lolls back to rest on the couch and her eyes close.
Beca gives her the minute and uses it to take in her appearance: the flush of pink on her chest, the hardness of her nipples, the (Beca can’t help but look with curiosity) obvious dark patch between her legs on the gray sweatpants she’s wearing.
The need to touch—and taste—Chloe is suddenly overwhelming. She’s about to make her move when Chloe lifts her head, eyes sparkling and clear and a smile starts spreading across her features. There’s tension in her limbs and Beca wonders if Chloe is still as turned on as she is.
“Tag,” Chloe says, suddenly reaching out to slap her hand against Beca’s foot before bolting off the couch and heading for the stairs. “You’re it!”
Beca’s dumbfounded for several seconds until she bursts out laughing. It’s a different kind of release than she just experienced, one of pure joy. “I’m giving you 60 seconds!”
“I gave you 100!” echoes back to her.
“I can’t wait that long,” she says to herself. She hopes Chloe’s not actually hiding; she hopes she’s going to one of their bedrooms so they can keep doing what they’ve started.
She knows their future is unknown in many ways, what this means for their friendship, for their relationship with one another. She doesn’t know how much longer they’ll be required to spend all day, every day inside together.
But, she thinks as she finally makes it to the top of the stairs and to her room to find Chloe sitting in the middle of her bed half-naked in only a bra and panties, they have plenty of activities to pass the time.
The End
254 notes · View notes
solecize · 4 years
Text
Tumblr media
𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. the boy you meet in detention, felix, doesn’t see colours. you want to gift his eyes with the kaleidoscopes and the rainbows of your world. the palette of your love story is supposed to bring together a work of art, but calamity lies beneath the canvas. 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. felix x reader 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒. swearing 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 4.1k 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒.  i wrote half of this while i was high sorry
Tumblr media
YELLOW. / PART III - “THE LIST OF GOOD THINGS”
Tumblr media
this is what you were afraid of. felix came and went as he pleased and after the day at the beach, he was gone for weeks. you had no way to contact him and when you worked up the nerve to ask around, nobody had a clue. it was a little embarrassing, the way you scoured social media for any trace of him and you weren’t even the slightest bit surprised when you discovered that he was off the grid.
there wasn't any chance of you being able to shake him off—the thought of felix was tattooed on your skin, entangled in your hair like bubblegum, left a stain that couldn't be washed away. his lazy grin haunted you and the faint sensation of his lips forever planted on yours. you thought you were going mad.
you'd had crushes before, even a failed relationship or two, and the way he made you feel was incomparable to all. 
Tumblr media
“was that okay?” you fumbled with your words, tripping and leaping over hurdles to get your voice out. 
you weren’t sure how long the two of you sat in that cave. you especially weren’t sure how long you two spent completely taking in the other by the lips, dizzying your vision and swelling your lips. it was felix who pulled away first, panting for air. his hair was tousled and a wash of strawberry pink flushed his face. 
felix just laughed and cupped your cheek. “yes. it was more than okay.” his eyes bore into yours and an army began marching through your chest.
the two of you remained in that spot until the night fell and the stars illuminated your surroundings. someone—you weren’t sure which one of you—finally knocked some sense into them and realized it was time to go. neither of you wanted to leave and making your way back was like dragging you feet. 
“where do you live? i’ll give you a ride home.” this time, you were the one that hopped into the driver’s seat. you took a glance at your phone abandoned on the dashboard, vibrating wildly.
twenty missed calls from your mom. four from your dad. about fifty texts altogether. you rolled your eyes and turned the device off.
felix raised his eyebrows, startled for a moment. “oh! no, that’s okay—”
“don’t be dumb, i made you come here and you’re not taking the bus,” you snorted.
“. . .fine. you can drop me off back at school,” he ran a hand through his hair, shoulders tense. “i left my car there.”
“your car? i thought you said it’d “been a while” since you last drove,” you said, but turned on the car anyway. the engine roared to life and the two of you were met with the local pop radio station. you scrunched your nose and turned it off, just as felix reached for the button at the same time with the same expression. the two of you shared a laugh.
you connected your phone again and played a more mellow playlist, one for the late atmosphere. adore you by harry styles filled your ears and you felt your hands relax on the wheel.
felix chuckled. “come on. i just didn’t wanna get in the minivan with you.” his nose crinkled when you playfully slapped his arm.
“i don’t blame you,” but you sure were glad that he ended up doing so.
the rest of the car ride was filled with comfortable silence. at some point, felix shyly put his hand over yours and you didn’t notice. it felt so natural and your fingers automatically tangled up in his. the rest of the harry styles album found its fingerprints all over the inside of the car and the remainder of the night.
eventually, the two of you pulled up to the high school and you felt a weight of dread trailing down your spine. you looked over at felix and a frown etched his face as well. 
“i guess this is it?” the thought of collecting his number didn’t even occur to mind.
felix’s hand didn’t move. “i guess so.” 
Tumblr media
worst of all, there was nothing to distract your mind with. the glare of the summer sun and the clean slate of all of your days brought you with a frustrating routine of sitting in your room in front of your electric fan all day. you weren’t even quite talking to your parents beyond a few words at dinner and the occasional moment when one of them would stick their head through your door to ensure that you were alive and breathing. clearly, they were still upset about the whole steal-the-minivan situation.
you felt pathetic, holed up indoors. you wanted to find motivation to go out and actually be with people, but it wasn’t like you had many options. eventually you got tired of wasting your summer away and decided to go for a bike ride. outside. of your room. admittedly, it was the craziest thing that happened since school went out.
you slipped on a pair of beat up white air force ones at the bottom of your stairs, tiptoeing quietly down and stopped when you realized that the house was empty. taking a glance at yourself in the mirror, you looked like you hadn’t seen the sun in years—really, it was for a few weeks. you wore a pair of oversized basketball shorts and a tank cropped just above your belly button, showing off a piercing that represented another badge of rebellion against your parents. a sound that could’ve sound like a groan of frustration rumbled from your throat, though it was too distorted to be compared to anything human. 
after a moment’s deliberation, you decided to at the very least put your hair up in a ponytail, roughly forcing the scrunchie through your tangled hair. you appeared a touch more presentable then. then again, you didn’t care all that much if you ran into anybody you knew—it wasn’t like you were going to run into them in september after you moved away for university.
carefully, you locked the front door and brought your bicycle out from the back. you didn’t have an idea of where you wanted to go, but you knew that being inside the house brought a heavy weight to your body that you couldn’t quite get rid of. even just the slightest stream of sunlight spilling through the door and the kiss of the summer heat lifted your mood.
following the wind, you found yourself in front of your now former high school. maybe it was the familiarity of the route that creeped up at the back of your mind and unconsciously brought you here. it looked exactly the same, even in its barren state.
you were coming to a stop when you heard someone call your name. an all too familiar deep rumble of a voice. thinking you were imagining it, you ignored it. then, it came again and you whipped your head around.
“hey.”
it was felix that walked past you, hands deep in the pockets of his grey sweatpants that you knew must have been killing him in the crazy heat, along with the light zip-up on top. he wore the same jordans from the day in detention and a plain white t-shirt. simple, but it fit him so well. and that goddamn smile. it always reached his eyes, it seemed, no matter what. 
“hi,” you managed to breathe out, suddenly thanking yourself for hauling your ass out of bed. what were the chances that you’d bump into the boy that had been plaguing your mind for week? “. . .long time no see.”
the words felt dumb and numb, rolling off your tongue, but you were too taken aback to process that he was actually in front of you. it had come to the point where you wondered if the day at the beach was a fever dream, created in the haze of your lonely desires at the back of your mind.
however, he was very real before your very eyes. he creeped up upon you like a summer breeze; unexpected, but exactly what your spirit ached for in a seemingly endless drought. it seemed as though felix was just as happy to see you, though a twinkle of relief slumped in his shoulders and relaxed all of the muscles in his body. with you, he always did that.
felix bit his lip. “it’s nice to see you. how’s your summer been so far?” you tried to read his facial expression, wondering if he was feeling the same way you were feeling about him, but was left to a complete wall of neutrality. he was good.
“boring. not much to do when you don’t have friends and it’s too hot to do anything outside.” that was the truth, but it sounded more pathetic out loud than you were willing to admit. however, felix simply nodded in understanding.
“well, you’re out now, aren’t you?” felix looked off into the distance, squinting at the relentless sun. 
you could’ve sworn you heard him mutter the word “finally” but you weren’t sure.
“i was going stir crazy,” you admitted with a gentle laugh. you subconsciously tucked a strand of loose hair behind your ear and stopped mid-way through when you realized what you were doing. oh, you were a freaking goner.
he teased, “so you decided to come visit the old prison yard?” he gestured to the school building and you tilted your head to the side, taking a moment to observe it. the lot did resemble a jailhouse to an uncanny extent.
however, with void of students, the lot seemed peaceful. abandoned and colossal. it was as if there was actual oxygen to breathe in, instead of feeling restrained as you had been the past four years. you wanted to attribute it to that, but there was an itching feeling that it was because of felix’s presence that gave you the ability to capture freedom. 
“i was riding my bike and i guess getting here is just muscle memory,” you shrugged it off. “what’s your excuse?”
nobody hung out at the high school during the summer unless they were getting high in the parking lot or using the outdoor field to play soccer. you had a feeling that felix wasn’t there for either. he also came alone, or so it seemed, considering you hadn’t even realized his presence.
“well. .  . .” a playful smile emerged on felix’s lips. “okay, fine. since you showed me your hidden spot, i’ll show you mine.”
it was as though the earth had thundered and a mirror sprung up from the ground below, forcing you to see your reflection in him. you knew there was a reason why you were so drawn to felix from the very first moment. in a way, he was just like you.
without waiting for you to verbally answer, felix extended his hand, just as you had done for him on graduation day. and, in the same vein as his own actions, you laced your fingers with his without any hesitation. you had to stop yourself from sighing out loud—the feeling of his hand joined with yours was a relief that you would cross the ocean for.
however, today, his skin was rough. they were calloused and dry, ones that were hard at work and had been drained of hydration in a deep desert. they met your soft palm and the contrast was electric. the two of you became one in just the smallest of forces, though, it was as powerful as a hurricane. you imagined that kissing him once again would feel like as though the heavens were to rain down upon us all—quenching thirst after a drought.
“i swear, if you take me behind the bleachers . . “ you teased. everyone knew that place as the local makeout spot, where there always seemed to be a douchey senior guy declaring it as his and the innocent girl next door’s secret hideout. of course, felix was the last person on earth who would take any person there.
his ears still tinted a cherry red, even in spite of the fact that you were joking. you laughed a bit and with your free hand, you abandoned your bike on the side of the driveway into the high school. somehow, it didn’t occur to you to bring a lock or even place it anywhere safer than there. your mind was too wrapped around felix’s pinky finger and his eyes were glued onto yours. 
“no! no—of course not,” he replied without waiting a beat, eyes wide. 
you just laughed and shook your head, as felix caught onto the joke. he chuckled nervously in response and your heart wanted to burst. it was adorable. 
felix tugged gently to prompt you to begin moving and you did so. the summer sun climbed onto your bag and wrapped its arms around your neck, straining your ability to walk in smooth motions. however, you were able to see that the two of you were going towards the forest nestled behind the football field. 
“what have you been to this summer?” you asked, squinting at the sun startling your eyes upon looking up at felix.
he just shrugged. “there’s nothing to do around here. i just end up coming back here all the time,” he said, referring to the place that he was leading you to. 
that was the truth, the city got boring fast. not to mention, everybody you grew up with turned into completely different people and the ones who didn’t change already drifted too far away. it was like being stuck and staying inside wasn’t even as bad because coming out to face the real world meant facing the reality of the cards that you were dealt with. 
it was the reality of growing up. you despised it and it must’ve shown on your face because felix glanced over at you and frowned. at that, you relaxed your shoulders that had stiffened without your command. 
“sorry. it’s just—” you began, already hearing felix’s inquiry form at the tip of his tongue. “—this isn’t really the summer i dreamed of. i wanted bonfires and friendship bracelets and sleepovers. not sitting around in my room all day because i don’t have any friends anymore.”
“you have me,” felix immediately said and you weren’t sure if your heart should’ve skipped a beat or sunk because you just potentially got friend zoned. however, the squeeze of his hand and the way his lids grew a touch heavier looking at your face, at your lips, relaxed the thought. 
he then let go of your hand for a second and began to tug at the strings of his zip up sweater, slowly and more forcefully when he realized just how hard it was. you simply stared at him, blinking, because you were confused at what he was doing. felix finally managed to get the string out and then proceeded to wrap the arms of the sweater around his waist, submitting to the heat.
“hold out your wrist.”
you silently did so, still confused. felix pulled you slightly closer, just enough that you were almost chest to chest and your arm still stuck out. he smiled. then, he took the red string from his zip up hoodie and began to tie it around your wrist. you couldn’t help but notice that it was the same shade of red as his red paper footballs from the first day in detention.
tilting to your head to the side, you managed to ask, “uh, what are you doing?”
he was having a hard time knotting it and looping the excessively long string properly. “what do you think i’m doing?” felix wore a mischievous grin on his face.
“ruining your hoodie?” you blunted.
felix chuckled. “no, dummy, this is our friendship bracelet.” 
no one had ever done something like that for you before. you were always the one going out of your way to do nice things for your friends and play the good guy, only to be fucked over in the end. with felix, he gave you the power of feeling appreciated and wanted. it weighed heavier than a box under an evergreen tree or a birthday surprise with confetti.
you jumped onto him and he let out a yelp of surprise. maybe you crushed his bones at some point, but you couldn’t stop repeating words of gratitude over and over again. you felt felix’s shoulders relax and his chest rumble with another laugh, as he snaked his arms around your torso and squeezed you just as hard back. 
“i know it’s kind of just a string, but you also kind of just made my summer,” you whispered in his ear and felt him stroke your hair in response. “sorry, i just had to tell you that. do you. .  .do you wanna go now?”
“if you still want to,” felix’s face was slightly flushed when you pulled away from the hug.
he captured your hand in yours once again and reeled you in, pulling you straight out of the salt water and into his world of butterscotch skies.
Tumblr media
you didn’t even know that place like this existed in your hometown. it was a moderate journey to say the least, at least a twenty minute walk from where the two of you started at your now former high school. felix began by leading you through the forest, taking paths that you didn’t even notice during your few visits there.
throughout the past four years, you seldom found yourself strolling through the murky trails of his forest, mostly to avoid the kids who would cut class to smoke weed here. the place was notorious for the activity, with its extensive paths crawling into one big maze and lengthy branches perfect for hiding behind. it was never anything but ugly and shady to you.
however, felix was like midas. everything he touched turned into gold. everywhere you went with him turned into a wonderland.
“these trees are way grown out now,” he murmured, pushing an small log out of the path with his foot. “i like it here, though.”
“it’s peaceful,” you replied, eyes drinking it all in. it wasn’t quite like the trees leading up to the beach hill, but the gloom hanging off of pea coloured moss and damp dirt brought strange comfort. 
that wasn’t the end of it, though. the two of you continued to make your way through the forest and on your end, with no destination in your mind. you even forgot about the heat. weaving through the way, bits of light began to make their presence known, shining from the far distance. you looked over at felix and a small grin began to form on his face.
all you saw next was yellow. 
at first, you were blinded by the sudden flash of sun. then, you slowly, but surely, fluttered your eyelids open and were confused when you were met with the same yellow. tucked away in the middle of the forest was a surprisingly large field of sunflowers. they varied in length and sparseness, but the one constant was their bright hue. the field shone brighter than the sun itself. the aroma of the field attacked your lungs and you relented, letting the scent of the flora run through your body. 
“you always come exactly when i need you.  . .” you mumbled under your breath, perplexed. you looked up at felix, who let his fingers run through the first patch of flowers, never picking, but appreciating the soft petals.
felix’s ears perked up. “huh? did you say something?”
“nothing,” you shook your head and bit back your smile. felix as a good luck charm would have to stay a secret. it was all a quiet coincidence, but you were more than grateful that he seemed to perfectly show up every time. “this place. . . .is this even real?” you giggled, mimicking his movements and brushing your fingers against the flowers.
“i come here almost everyday. it’s breathtaking.”
there was a crinkling noise and you hadn’t even noticed that felix let go of your hand to open a lollipop. he popped it out and it was, of course, a bright lemon colour. it perfectly matched the field. you raised an eyebrow at him,
“yellow,” he began, with the stick poking out of his right cheek, “is the easiest colour to remember. it’s the colour of happiness and home and summer and flowers and. . . and goddamn lemonade!” felix declared, spreading his arms open as if to hug the skies.
you knew exactly what felix meant. everything that embodied the colour yellow was right there, in that moment, there was no better colour to remember.
you blinked and after a breath, you grinned and yelled out to up above, “like goddamn lemonade!” 
“LEMONADEEE!”
the two of you began making yelling and whooping to absolutely no body other than yourselves. after a few moments of jumping around, he captured you into a gentle hug. you only squeezed your arms harder.
he paused. “you know you’re one of my first friends in a long time?” felix asked. “and graduation just happened. great.” his tone was sarcastic, but the truth hurt you just as hard.
you thought about the alleged “friends” you used to run with, the petty girls who always found themselves in drama. the ones that you completely changed yourself for. the ones who no longer had a place in your life. 
you thought about felix. he felt like home. you met him too late.
“you’re one of mine, too.” you wondered if being a friend was all that felix thought of you. you thought back to the day you kissed him and he responded positively. you thought about the friendship bracelet now laced and bound to your body. maybe, that’s what you needed him more as. “what happened to your old friends?” you were attempting to change the topic.
was that a mistake? felix cleared his throat. “well, there used to be nine of all of us back then . . .” he trailed off and instead made a spot for himself on the ground. he sat crosslegged and began playing with the nearest flower.
there was a story to everything. experiencing it is the worst, but explaining the breakdown to someone else was just as bad sometimes. you saw the way felix struggled to piece it together, so you merely shook your head and sat beside him. it could wait another day.
“i can’t believe i never knew about this place,” you said.
felix replied, “it’s probably for the better. it wouldn’t be this pretty if a bunch of random high school kids found it.” he cocked his head towards the forest, the lollipop still dangling from his mouth. 
in one fluid motion, you swiped it and stuck it into your own mouth with a grin.
“hey!” felix exclaimed, completely taken aback. he began laughing, though, and a playful look shone in his eye. 
before you knew it, you were underneath him. of course, not in that way, but the idiot managed to tackle you to the ground in the same way he had done at the beach. you gasped for laughter as he did so, holding you down with tickles. 
you somehow slid from the position below him and held your hands up in defeat. “i’m sorry!” you giggled. 
felix couldn’t help it. you looked ethereal against clusters of flowers and the best colour in the world. he couldn’t see it, but he felt it. the list of good things associated with it was now changed: happiness, home, summer, lemonade, and now, you.
he pressed a kiss to your cheek. 
“i thought we were friends?” you countered, smugly. you really didn’t care what you were, all that you knew was that you were drunk on felix’s presence. it wasn’t love or lust, but a comfort that you were addicted to.
“we can be whatever you want.” felix picked a sunflower, one of a smaller size, and held it out to you.
64 notes · View notes
straylightdream · 4 years
Text
SOMEBODY’S BABY | JJK
part nine: emotional baggage
featuring: Jeon jungkook x reader
social media au
It’s just sex they say over and over again. He’s terrible at relationships and she doesn’t know what she wants.
warnings: angst and cussing
previous > next
masterlist
Tumblr media
For some reason Namjoon invited a ton of people to his place. You weren’t even exactly sure why you agreed to go to this. Jimin gripped your hand as you made your way through the crowd of unfamiliar people. You reached the kitchen and was relieved to see there were only a few people in there.
“You okay?” Jimin asks, still holding your hand.
You nod your head.
You stay in the kitchen with him for a while. Jimin is all too aware that you don’t like being in this crowded house. He holds your hand the whole time knowing that comforts you. You’re surprised when you see Jin walking into the kitchen. His hands are shoved in his pockets as he gives you a smile.
“Should I leave you alone to talk?” Jimin asks.
“I guess, but don’t go far,” you say, releasing his hand.
“Okay I’ll be in the other room with Hobi.”
Jin walks towards you and leans against the counter next to you. Knitting your eyebrows together you stare at him. You weren’t even sure what you should say to him. You hadn’t ever responded to his last text about giving everything another try.
“I’m surprised you’re here, I thought you hated parties,” he says, breaking the silence that had formed between you.
“I still don’t like them,” you say.
“Then why are you here?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“I don’t know why I come to these. Maybe it’s because it’s the only time all the boys are actually together so I can see them.” The older you get the harder it is for everyone to make time to hang out together.
“I’ve seen and talked to all the guys other than Jungkook, is he here?” he asked.
Shrugging your shoulders you aren’t if he’s at the party. Things between you have changed so much and you honestly hate it. You miss having him as one of your best friends. A sad expression plays across your face as you look down at your feet.
“Did I accidentally say something wrong?” he asked, sounding concerned.
“JK and I are in a weird place at the moment,” you sigh.
“Is there still something going on between you two?”
“I don’t know to be honest,” you want to cry just thinking about the fact that you might have fucked up your friendship with Jungkook.
You look up when you hear someone clear their throat. You’re caught off guard at the sight of Jungkook standing in the kitchen. His eyes bounce between you and Jin, and you automatically know he thinks something is going on.
“Kook,” you say softly stepping away from Jin.
“I was just stopping by to say hi,” he says as he turns on his heels.
“I need to talk to him. Please give me some time Jin,” you say before taking off through the crowded house after Jungkook. You follow him into the front yard where he finally stops. He tosses his head back and lets out a groan. He doesn’t know you’re behind him.
“Jungkook,” you say softly.
He turns around to look at you and his face is unreadable. He pushes his fingers through his hair and closes his eyes.
“Nothing was happening,” you step closer to him.
“YN it doesn’t matter if it was. I can’t have a problem with it,” you can tell by his tone he’s upset. He shoves his hands into his jeans pockets. His face reads with a look of defeat.
“I feel like I owe you the whole story at this point. Like everything that happened between Jin and I,” you aren’t ready to talk about this, but you need to.
“YN I’m not forcing you to tell me, I’m trying my hardest to make this whole thing easy on you. It’s fucking hard keeping my distance from you,” he sighs.
“Did you want to go back to your place and I can tell you about what happened with Jin?”
He nods silently.
“Let me tell Jimin I’m leaving.”
“Okay I’ll wait out here while you go tell Jimin.”
Rushing inside the crowded house you find Jimin talking to Tae, and you tell both of them you and Jungkook are going to leave to talk things out. Jimin tells you to call him if you need him.
Walking back outside you find Jungkook standing in the same place you left him. You follow him down the street to where he parked his car. He turns on soft music after he starts the car before he drives you back to his apartment. Neither of you say a single word the whole way there. The whole drive to his place you want nothing more then to reach out and hold his hand. Looking out the window you try to distract yourself watching the lights as you pass by. As soon as you arrive at his place you go straight to his bedroom with him.
You sit down on his bed and watch as he pulls out his desk chair. He sits across from you and gives you a sad smile.
“I’m sorry I’m acting so weird right now,” you sigh.
“I think we’re both acting weird right now.”
“Okay the whole story with Jin,” you pause taking a deep breath. “After Sam broke my heart after high school I never planned on getting involved with anyone quickly. I’ve known Jin since I was a kid, and I had a crush on him most of my childhood. I fell in love with him while he was still dating Yun. While he was with her when he realized he had feelings for me,” you sigh this story isn’t going to get any easier from here on out.
“We got involved in this weird secret relationship when I was twenty. I’m not proud that he left Yun for me. He never physically cheated on her but emotionally he did. He told me often he wanted to be with me while he was still with her. After awhile he finally left her for me and we were together but nobody other than Jimin knew. I was madly in love with him, but he didn’t feel as strongly for me. I know he cared about me, but he never told me he loved me,” tears start to brim your eyes as you fought back tears. You didn’t want to cry over this situation anymore.
“You don’t have to tell me anymore,” he reached out resting his hands on your thigh.
“I owe you this. The whole time we were together I told myself that it didn’t matter that he didn’t say he loved me, because I knew how much I meant to him. Things were going okay until I missed my period. We had been careless a handful of times and I thought for sure I was going to be a mom. I told Jin and he panicked. He told me his whole life is ahead of him with his parents' company that he couldn’t throw it away for me. His parents would cut him off completely if he had a child out of wedlock,” the tears slowly started sliding down your cheek. You knew you shouldn’t be crying over this anymore.
“We broke up that night. Three days later I got my period, but it didn’t matter. I realized then that I didn’t fit into Jin’s life. He apologized a million times for what happened, and begged me to take him back. How badly I wanted him back I knew I couldn’t. I don’t blame him now though for what happened. I'm trying to move, but he broke my heart.”
Tears slowly slide down your cheek as you look at Jungkook who looks like he is at a complete loss of what to say to you. The only person who knew the whole story of what had happened was Jimin. Namjoon knew you had been together but he didn’t know why it ended, and he only knew that because Jin had told him.
Reaching out he rested his hand on your cheek and brushed his thumb across your cheek brushing away the tears.
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“I’m fine now, it’s just there is a part of me that’s always going to care for him. He’s also older now and has control of his own life so part of me just wanted to hear him out. It’s also nice to know that he still cares about me.”
His hand is still on your cheek as he stares into your sad eyes. You wished more than anything he would lean forward and kiss you, but he knew he shouldn’t do that.
“We were all friends with Jin a couple years after that. How did you manage to hang around him?” he asked, needing to know.
“I closed myself off emotionally. I stopped dating all together. I had no desire to have any connection with anyone. I think I was only able to handle it because he seemed just as upset as me. I didn’t have to watch him date or anything. After we broke up he never had another girlfriend while he lived here.”
“I knew you guys had a form of a past but I didn’t know all this,” he says mentally kicking himself. He’s pissed at himself for ever questioning you about Jin.
Leaning forward he presses his lips to your forehead for a gentle kiss.
“I’m sorry you’re having to deal with my emotional baggage,” you sigh.
“I’m glad you felt like you could trust me with this information,” he pauses taking a moment. “YN I need to ask you something.”
Pulling away you look at him, “okay.”
“Are you gonna give him another chance?” He was terrified you were going to say yes. He couldn’t watch you get your heartbroken again.
You shrug, “I don’t know, probably not. I care for him and there is something still there, but I’m still hurt.”
“Okay I don’t want you to get hurt again, if you do I’ll be there for you no matter what,” he says swallowing his pride.
“Thanks JK,” you smile reaching up, pushing away your tears. “Can we please go back to being friends. I hate not being able to text you.”
He nods his head, “yea.”
You spend the rest of the evening laying in Jungkook’s bed watching movies. You don’t cuddle or anything like you used to, and you can’t lie you miss it. After midnight Jungkook drives you home and kisses your cheek goodnight. You’re relieved you worked out what was going on, but you knew you had a lot more to talk about as well.
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* if you would like to be tagged please message me or send an ask *:・゚✧*:・゚✧
@mrcleanheichou @honeyoongles @aretha170 @sunflowergukkie @rjsmochii @livewittykid @patpus @a-little-baby-bun @super-btstrash-posts @chiquifibaby1208 @iovemaze @shinobiblazing @t-toodumbtocare
123 notes · View notes
Text
*disclaimer* I doubt anyone will read this but I'm writing it more for myself than anything. Also I know there are much more important things to complain about and trust me I do complain about "more important things" LOL, but let me have this one.
Possibly an unpopular opinion, i liked animal crossing much more prior to using social media. I know this is going to make me sound like a boomer, like don't get me wrong i also enjoy the social aspect, I've made amazing connections and I love sharing photos of my island (which wouldn't be possible without social media) but like. Crippling self doubt now has to extend to a video game I once used to not feel real life emotions besides happiness. Feeling not good enough to reach out to certain people, or trying to reach out and being ignored, hurts just like irl, but with an added "wow you can't even make friends with people who have similar interests as you" vibe.
No one is entitled to a response from anyone and I know that obviously, but growing up, the old animal crossing games were my outlet to escape from having no friends. Now, everything on social media within the fandom is VERY cliquey and I always feel left out.
On a positive note, I made an online friend from Romania and I appreciate her existence so much! Of course I wouldn't have that experience without instagram so I am grateful for it. But sadly the negatives for me outweigh the positives. I'm mentally unwell and have never been good at distancing myself from bad habits. I'll sit on instagram for hours and more than half the time feel worse afterwards because I'm constantly comparing myself.
when I'm running around my island or looking at photos of my island I love it but when I look at photos of other people's islands I want to tear everything down that I've made and do it all over again! which I already did once and I only felt happy with the changes for a week and now I'm already back to square one of wanting to start over again.
Aside from social media, which i am aware is my choice to keep using and if I really had a horrible time the entire time, I could step away, I have actual issues with the game. These following complaints aren't about social media now but the game itself.
I could write an entire book about why I love animal crossing, pre new horizons I had 0 complaints. Now, I could write an entire book about why I hate it just as easily.
The core reason the older games had replayable value was the villagers. having conversations with them. you couldn't decorate outside before New leaf and I was totally fine with that because the villagers had so much dialogue/ personality that you could keep coming back for years and still have new dialogue to see.
I first played population growing on the GameCube when I was five years old and I've replayed it at least ten times since then. I'm 23 and prior to new horizons I still had my gamecube hooked up to play sometimes. The villagers in New horizons are a stale, crusty shell compared to what they used to be and I miss that because if I don't want to terraform or decorate my house or decorate my yard what is there to do besides talk to the villagers and catch bugs? trust me when I say that animal crossing is still my favorite game but I really wish I could have that feeling I had as a child when I turned on my GameCube and knew that my villagers would be there to have silly conversations with me. Now I kinda just avoid them because they say the same things on repeat.
I've already written much more than anyone is going to read so I won't finish my book of complaints today, thank you if anyone actually reads this I'm sorry it was probably a waste of your time 😂
7 notes · View notes
benscaligraphyset · 4 years
Text
Chapter Four
Tumblr media
(A/N: I am once again apologizing for the late update. This chapter is a bit long in my defense but it also takes me a while to fine tune things and then I get more ideas and then I want to add more blah blah you guys don’t care but I really hope you enjoy this chapter! Please reblog if you do so I can get more engagement! I love reading your guys’s comments as well <3  I also decided to do something a little different and not use a gif of Ben but instead something that relates to the chapter? Let me know what you guys think!)
Warnings: Drug use
You knew that Luke would be pestering you soon to get up, so, reluctantly, you threw the blanket off your body and left your warm bed to go find your robes for the day. It was a somewhat chilly day so you decided to wear one of your heavier sets of robes, a grey one that Leia had gifted you, and you quickly reached out to the Force and brought your saber to your awaiting hand. You looked in the mirror, planning to give yourself a good once over before going to see Ben, but anxiety pooled in your stomach at the thought of what he would think of your appearance. Would he think the robes were ugly? Would he hate your two messy buns that were very clearly not brushed through? What would he think of the dark circles under your eyes?
You sat in front of the mirror for a good minute before groaning and forcing yourself to turn away. You could fixate all day if you let yourself and you weren’t even sure what you were so worried about. Ben was your best friend and you’ve never worried about how he thought you looked before—not since a long time ago, anyway—so what was the issue now?
You threw open the flap to your hut and were greeted by the bright sun, causing you to instantly squint your eyes as you attempted to see what everyone was doing. Voe and Tai were practicing forms nearby, the former actually giving a rare smile, and Jannik was reading a book in the grass a little bit past them. Everyone else was either in the cafeteria or still mustering the strength to get up and start the day. A whistle in the distance brought your attention to your left and you saw Ben waving at you in the field a few yards away.
You giggled and thought briefly that he looked adorable huddled in his colder weather robes.
“I didn’t think you were ever going to wake up,” Ben said once you made your way over.
You rolled your eyes. “Not all of us woke up to sneak out of someone else’s hut at the crack of dawn.”
“Would you rather I stayed?” He teased and handed you a wrapped biscuit.
You cleared your throat and took the biscuit from him. “Even if I did, you know how Master Luke would’ve reacted.”
“I was kidding,” he said, giving you an odd look. You swallowed nervously and suddenly found the sight of your biscuit very interesting. That familiar anxiety found residence in your chest again.
“Yeah, uh, I know. I was just saying,” you replied lamely and prayed that he would just look away from you. He quickly did, not a fan of social awkwardness himself.
“So, are you ready for me to kick your ass tomorrow?” he asked, thankfully changing the subject.
You snorted. “Big talk for a man who’s lost to me the last two times we sparred.”
“Not this time, honey.”
Your cheeks flamed at the nickname and you could only chuckle nervously as you unwrapped your biscuit.
“You know I hate it when you call me that,” you mumbled and he grinned.
“That’s exactly why I do it, honey.”
He was so infuriating sometimes.
“Whatever. If it makes you feel like a big man to patronize me—“
“You’re so dramatic, Y/N.”
“Oh, coming from you, the most dramatic man alive?”
“Me? Dramatic?” he asked incredulously, bringing a hand to his chest in offense. You couldn’t help but note how much he looked like his father.
“Mhm,” you hummed, taking a bite out of your biscuit with a grin.
Ben chuckled softly. “I don’t know where you get your delusions.”
You both made the trek over to the nearby lake that you had made a habit of going to every morning. It was just a nice and peaceful way to start the day as you watched the waterfowl feed their young and splash around.
The local flora kissed your ankles as you drew closer to the lake. The yard wasn’t tended to this far away from the temple so the grass was allowed to grow free and tall. You actually like it better grown out; it being allowed to grow freely with no influence from anyone else, namely the Jedi. Though, maybe you were just projecting.
There was a lone bench on the side of the lake that you and Ben had silently claimed for your own. It was a bit rotted and discolored, but it supported both your weights and that’s all you really needed. The lake was in a dip in the field and the tall edges blocked out any evidence of the temple even being here and it was relaxing to just forget about all of it, if only for an hour.
You giggled in delight as one of the birds waddled over to you, eager for what you had to offer. The tri-colored bird honked impatiently as you riffled through your pockets.
“Alright, alright,” you laughed and finally retrieved the seeds. “Here you go.”
The bird chirped happily as it pecked at the seeds that you threw to the ground, bringing the attention of the other birds. Suddenly, they were all waddling towards you with hungry eyes
Ben laughed. “They’re gonna swarm you.”
Panicking, you tossed the seeds far to the left and, luckily, they went for the seeds instead of your toes. You sighed in relief and looked back at the original bird, continuing to peck away happily as if nothing had happened.
You both ate your breakfast in silence, enjoying the beautiful lake before you. A fish jumped in the distance, followed by a few more, before the water went calm again. You wondered if they were escaping a predator below the murky depths.
“Do you have any more seeds?” Ben broke the silence.
“Uh, yeah,” you answered, fishing in your pocket for the remaining seeds. Ben took them and went in the direction of the pecking birds, but ignored them for a scrawny bird on the outskirts of the swarm. It kept trying to get some of the seeds but was continuously pecked and squawked at, unable to get any. You figured the feathers out of place all over it’s body was from other birds pecking at it.
Squatting in front of it, he offered his hand full of seeds for the neglected bird and it cautiously approached him. It looked up at Ben’s face and you watch as he gave it a comforting smile, letting the bird know it was okay to trust him.
Your cheeks rose in temperature and you had to look away to stop the butterflies that were beginning to swarm in your belly. He was just so good and it made you want to do things to him that a good Jedi wouldn’t. Besides the obvious images that run through your head whenever Ben stretched up and his shirt slipped up just enough for you to see his sharp hip bones or when his pants were just a little too tight, you also struggled with ideas of you laying together late at night, holding each other in the middle of the night like it was the easiest thing in the world. It was almost overwhelming at times how much you wanted to hug him, how much you wanted to just hold him and be held by him for the rest of your life, and how much, honestly, you wanted to kiss him until he felt no more pain. But, you can’t do that when you’re trying to be a good Jedi, not that you have much of a choice.
You waited until Ben came back over the bench to turn your gaze away from the lake and back at your friend. That’s all he was after all: a friend.
A friend, a friend, a friend....
He smiled at you before throwing an arm around you and sighing. “I wish we could just sit here all day and not go to training.”
You planted a grin on your face and leaned on his shoulder. “Me too.”
You tried to ignore the butterflies that flurried at his words.
“Thank you...for last night, I mean,” you said after a minute, eyes cast down at the bird below you. It was weird to thank your best friend for spending the night with you with you were both over twenty.
“It’s no problem,” Ben replied as casually as he could manage, but you could tell he felt the awkwardness as well.
You were both silent for a minute, each chewing on your respective biscuits, until you couldn’t take it anymore.
“I—I’m sorry,” you blurted. “I made things weird, bringing it up. I shouldn’t have—“
“It’s fine, Y/N,” he interrupted and you clamped your mouth shut. You internally smacked yourself as you somehow managed to make things worse.
“It was a one-time thing,” he continued and took another bite. “No big deal.”
Your heart sunk in your chest and you quickly put the walls up in your mind so he couldn’t see inside. You don’t know why the prospect of it never happening again filled you with such sorrow, but it did, and you realized all you wanted was for it to happen every night. Maybe it was just because this was the first night in a while that you were actually able to sleep soundly through the night.
“Yeah,” you said with a clearly forced laugh. “A one time thing.”
Ben gave you a strange look and looked ready to question you until a saving grace in the form of Jannik appeared.
“Hey! What are you guys doing?” Jannik yelled across the lake and began striding towards your place on the bench.
Ben pulled his arm away from around your shoulder and settled for crossing them across his chest, causing you to frown at the loss of warmth. He was clearly irritated by their new visitor, and while you were grateful your awkward conversation had been interrupted, you too shared these sentiments as you enjoyed these mornings with Ben.
“Just feeding the birds,” you answered, plastering a smile on your face when Jannik arrived.
“Sorry, did I interrupt something?” He asked cheekily, pointing between the two of you. Both of you shifted to put some distance between each other.
“No, Jannik,” you sighed, no longer grateful for your intruder. Now, you just wanted to go back to you and Ben’s relaxing morning, awkward question or no.
“Great!” he interrupted and went to sit between the two of you and you felt Ben’s anger flare before feeling his walls go up and your frown returned with a vengeance.
“I love nature,” Jannik sighed, throwing his arms over the backrest of the bench.
You and Ben sighed in union. The ambiance of this beautiful morning had been shattered and now you were both sitting in strained silence until you found a way out of this.  
You couldn’t help your startled jump when Ben suddenly got to his feet. His face was scrunched up in discomfort and you could see the tips of his ears that were poking out of his scruffy hair were tinged red.
“There’s a book I needed to find,” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact. “I, uh, have to go.”
“Ben!” you attempted to call after him but he was already scurrying off towards the library.
You glowered at the remaining man. “Real nice, Jannik,” you snapped, standing and snatching up your biscuit trash.
“Hey, what did I do now?”
“I get one hour, one hour, every morning where Ben and I can relax by the lake and it’s just us and he’s open with me and you just cut it short by—“ You checked your watch. ”—twenty minutes.”
“I’m s—“
“And, you know, he’s the only one here who really understands me here. I mean, you and Hellixia try your best but you’ll never—“
“Okay, hurtful.”
“Sorry if that was harsh, I just—“
“No, I’m sorry,” he started and grabbed your arm. You turned your gaze of discontent into him. “I didn’t realize how important these mornings were for you.”
“Well they are,” you snapped, pulling your arm away, and still feeling the anger hot in your belly.
“I’m sorry, let me make it up to you.”
You scoffed. “Oh, yeah? How?”
“We’re gonna go smoke some Savorium herb tonight,” Jannik practically sung.
Your face instantly perked up. “Really?”
“See.” He elbowed you in the rib lightly. “I told you I could make it up to you.”
You stubbornly crossed your arms across your chest. “I didn’t say I wasn’t still mad at you.”
“It was implied,” he replied with a toothy grin. “I’m assuming you’re bringing Ben?”
He pumped his eyebrows suggestively.
“Yeah, that thing about still being mad at you—“
“I’m just asking a simple question.”
“Obviously, I’m bringing Ben,” you replied with a shove. “But, that doesn’t mean anything, we’re just friends...best friends.”
You hated how small and melancholiac your voice sounded at the last addition.
Jannik’s face suddenly turned serious, his signature goofy grin now gone. “You know I’m just trying to look out for you, right?”
His green eyes were sincere and you had to look away from his intense gaze. No matter how hard Luke and your former master had tried, it was still hard for you to accept that people actually cared and that their help was genuine.
“I—I know,” you muttered, kicking a bit at the grass below you.
“I just don’t want to see you get hurt.”
That statement hit harder than he probably intended it to. The biggest reason, besides the Jedi rules, you were hesitant to admit your feelings to yourself and Ben was the thought of soul-crushing rejection, and even worse, if he feels the same way, and you both end up damaging each other beyond repair and lose each other forever. You don’t think you could survive losing Ben again. It took you long enough to to put yourself back together the first time.
Besides, you weren’t even sure what these feelings were.
“I’ll be fine,” you said, throwing on a reassuring, tight-lipped smile. “But, thank you, Jannik”
Jannik just shook his head with a scoff, looking to the sky almost in disbelief. “Whatever you say, L/N”
He began to walk back towards the direction of the temple. “We’re meeting in the clearing at ten!”
Ten. One hour after lights out.
Today was mostly private training with Luke, so you didn’t get a chance to see Ben until right before dinner.
Of course, you found him in the library looking for more calligraphy books, his eyebrows scrunched together as he tried to locate a certain book.
“A bunch of us are getting together to smoke some Savorium herb at ten if you want to come.”
“No thanks,” he replied immediately.
“Come on, Ben. It’ll be fun!” you sang.
Ben snorted. “Yeah, I’m sure being around our obnoxious classmates while they’re high out of their minds will be fun.”
“But, we’ll also be high out of our minds. Trust me it’s good stuff.”
He raised an eyebrow at you. “How would you know?”
“I’m not a prude, Ben. I’ve tried it a few times over the years.”
Ben huffed and turned back to the bookshelf, continuing to scan the rows.
“Please come,” you pleaded, flashing him your best Loth-cat eyes. He didn’t even have to look to know what you were doing and he threw his head back in a groan.
“Fine, but if my night is ruined I’m blaming you,” he said and pointed a finger at you.
“Fair enough,” you said, raising your hands in surrender with a grin.
He rolled his eyes and turned back to the shelf, finally finding the book he needed and pulling it from the shelf.
He put the book under his arm and gave you a half-hearted glare. “You’re the worst, you know that?”
“Oh, sorry, I want my best friend to be carefree for a night.”
“Yeah, well, we’ll see if this drug can actually make me ‘carefree’. I’ll believe it when I feel it.”
The temperature had been steadily increasing throughout the day, leading to a warm night that reminded you of Naboo summer nights.
At a little past ten, Ben showed up at your hut and quietly knocked outside of it. You instantly peeled back the tarp and noticed he looked a bit taken aback by your appearance.
You had forsaken your typical Jedi robes for a sleeveless shirt and tight black leggings. You suppose it clung to your body a bit more than he’d be used to, but didn’t think it was worthy of the look his was giving you.
“What?” you asked with a awkward giggle. Ben shook his head and brought his head back up to meet his gaze with yours.
“Nothing,” he said, clearing his throat nervously, throwing on a mask of casualness. “I just can’t wait for this night to be over with.”
You rolled your eyes. “If you go into it with that attitude then you are going to have a bad time.”
“Ah, yes, you and the ‘power of positive thinking’.”
“Yes, and it works! You just refuse to try it.”
You didn’t have to look to know that he was rolling his eyes.
“You just sound like my uncle.”
You flinched a little at that. You hated when he compared you to Luke as that’s all people have been doing your whole life, especially here at the Jedi temple.
“Maybe a little. But that doesn’t mean I’m wrong,” you ended up mumbling.
As you walked in mostly silence the rest of the way to the clearing, you couldn’t stop thinking about the look Ben had given you. It wasn’t the look itself that was really bothering you as much as it was the fact that you liked it, you liked it a lot and you couldn’t get it out of your head. The warmth in your cheeks had yet to fade and it felt as if the butterflies in your belly were trying to escape through your abdomen.
At last, you reached the clearing in the woods and found Jannik beginning to roll the leaves into some sort of rolling paper on a log bench. There were a few log bunches circled around the campfire in the center and Voe and Helixia were sitting on the one across from Jannik, the latter rambling excitedly about something while Voe looking on in disinterest.
“Y/N, Ben, you made it!” Jannik exclaimed excitedly, getting the attention of Helixia, much to Voe’s relief. She squealed in excitement and rushed over to the two of you. You both tried to hide your cringe at the sound.
“Hey, Helixia,” you greeted with a smile and her smile brightened even more.
“You wouldn’t think that the Master’s nephew and protégé would make good party guests! But, I guess you can’t judge a book by its cover.”
You thought you heard Voe mumble something that sounded like, “We’ll see.”
Ben must’ve heard it too because he tensed next to you and you looked down to see his fists were clenched at his sides.
“Come on,” you said, pulling his arm to go over to Jannik and away from Voe’s comments. Helixia followed behind happily, oblivious to what had just happened. Perhaps she had already took a few hits, or perhaps that really was just Helixia’s nature, to not notice those things. You wondered for a moment if you’d be better off with that trait.
“Just ignore her,” you said.
“It’s just everything she says seems like it’s meant to infuriate me.”
You scoffed. “It’s Voe, it’s what she does.”
A few more people came, surprisingly, including Tai, and soon everyone was sitting on the log benches discussing miscellaneous things amongst different groups.
“Alright,” Jannik announced, standing on of the benches, “who here has smoked before?”
A majority of classmates raised their hands, save for Ben and Tai, no surprises there. You couldn’t see in the lowlight, but you just knew the tips of Ben’s ears were pink.
You reflexively placed a hand on his thigh to try and relax him. There was nothing wrong with this, in fact it’s what you would do to most friends to help them relax, but when Ben leapt at the touch you started overthinking the gesture. You jerked away as if you’d been burnt, awkwardly crossing your arms across your chest and trying to ignore Ben’s eyes boring into your skull.
Why were things so different with Ben? Why was it that a gesture as simple as touching his thigh sent a tingle up your arm from when you’d made contact? Why were you feeling things Jedi were not meant to feel?
“Okay, okay, so we have some newbies. How about I let you guys take the first hit?”
“Jannik,” you warned.
“What?” he asked in innocence.
“Don’t make him do it in front of everyone.”
“Why? It’s practically a right of passage to have everyone watch.”
“It’s not, it sucks and he doesn’t want to that.”
“Why don’t you ask him what he wants to do?” Someone piped up in the crowd, looking overly interested. Everyone wanted to see the Great Ben Solo explode into a fit of coughs and smoke and you weren’t having it.
“You just want to embarrass him—“
“Maybe you should stop being an over protective girlfriend—“
“Excuse me?”
“Enough,” Ben’s voice boomed and everyone instantly got quiet. “I’ll do it, I don’t care.”
“Ben—“
“I’m not a child,” he snapped at you.
You shrunk away from him. “Alright.”
You knew he’d only snapped at you out of embarrassment, but the hurt still resided in your chest.
You couldn’t wait to be high.
Jannik handed him the rolled leaf and Ben took it hesitantly. If you didn’t already know this was his first time, the way he held it would’ve given it away. He held it delicately as if it might break under this fingers and turned it experimentally in his hand, giving it a good once over.
You watched cautiously as he brought the smoking object to his lips. It did something strange to you, watching the way his lips wrapped around it, and you had to shake your head of the thoughts that began forming.
He breathed in the smoke deeply, before having to pull it out of his mouth as coughs full of smoke started coming out of him. A chorus of laughter rang out around the circle as you patted his back while he wheezed.
Surprisingly, he didn’t seem uncomfortable with everyone laughing at him, and he actually began laughing with them. After the initial shock, you grinned at him and laughed along. You’d forgotten how fast this drug kicked in.
After all taking a few good hits, some only needing one to take effect, you were all very relaxed around the campfire.
“You know,” Ben started, eyes nearly a sliver, “maybe my problem is that I’m not always smoking this.”
He held up the joint for reference and then took another deep drag with a bit of coughing but nothing compared to the first hit.
You giggled. “I agree, but,” you said, taking the joint from him, “I think you’ve had enough.”
Ben attempted to reach for it back but got distracted by something in the air and quickly forgot what he was doing, instead now fascinated by an ember floating by.
You giggled at him and took one last drag before passing it off to the next person.
It’s like the dark cloud that normally loomed over Ben had finally lifted and he could finally just be, at least for the moment.
“It makes everything so much better,” Ben mused and you giggled softly. “Colors are brighter, everything is more beautiful...”
Drifting off, his eyes focused on you now. The look he was giving you would’ve made your knees weak if it weren’t for you already sitting down. It was such an intense gaze and no matter how badly you wanted to look away, you couldn’t.
You were surprised to feel that his walls were completely down for you and you were free to explore his mind. But, you were too scared to, too scared at what you would find and how it would make you feel.
“W-what?” you asked, cursing yourself for sounding so meek.
Reaching up, Ben pushed a strand of hair out of your face and you shivered under his touch. Everything else faded away into static and it was just the two of you, alone in the galaxy.
His eyes briefly flickered down to your lips and you gasped sharply as your chest flushed.
He was looking at you as if you put the stars themselves in the sky and if you could see your face, you knew it would look terrified, terrified that you felt the same way about him.
The moment was shattered by Helixia’s shrill giggling on the other side of the fire and you both ripped your gaze away from each other.
Ben shook his head of his thoughts and suddenly found the fire very fascinating.
“H-hey, give me another hit,” you said shortly after recovering. Bactar handed it to you instantly, most likely seeing the shaken look on your face and knowing you really needed it.
You took a deep drag of the sour tasting herb, wanting nothing more than to not have to think of feelings or Jedi or your  future. You just wanted to be numb.
You started to feel the familiar floating sensation of the drug and you heard Bactar say something from what sounded like far away, but when you opened your eyes, you realized he had moved to sit right next to you.
“How you feeling, Ben?” Bactar leaned around you to ask.
It looked like Ben wanted to answer, but the thought got lost before it could make it to his mouth and he instead closed his eyes with a content chuckle.
“I think we’ve converted him,” you giggled.
“Yes, come to the dark side, Ben,” Bactar taunted, “we have cookies.”
You would’ve criticized him for the phrasing if your mouth didn’t instantly water at the plastic case of assorted cookies that he presented.
“Bactar, I think I love you,” you blurted out and leaned forward to grab two—okay, maybe four—cookies.
He guffawed. “Don’t let Ben hear you say that.”
“Hm?” Ben questioned, mouth already full of cookie.
You moaned boisterously into the first bite of cookie. “This is the best cookie ever made!” You exclaimed, fully confident and with a full mouth.
Laughter broke out around you, including Ben’s, and he nearly choked on the cookie that had grabbed and instantly shoved in his mouth.
You’re sure something did happen between the cookies and the next moment when Ben’s head was in your lap, but you couldn’t quite remember it. All you knew is you were stroking the softest hair in the galaxy and Ben was leaning into it.
“What do you use on your hair, Ben? It’s so kriffing soft,” you exclaimed, pulling on his hair slightly to have a closer look.
Jannik leaned in, interest peaked. “I’ve been wondering the same thing for months now.”
Ben began laughing—practically giggling—from his spot on your lap. “People have been asking for years and I’ve never told them.”
“But, why?”
“Because—“ He broke off to laugh some more and you lightly jolted your leg to shove into him.
“Because what?” you pressed.
“Because...well, it’s kind of embarrassing...I don’t want anyone to have my secret to great hair.”
Your mouth fell open and you stared down at him. “Ben, that’s ridiculous.”
“I know, that’s why it’s so f-funny!” His shoulders shook uncontrollably with his roaring laughter and he nearly fell off of your lap.
“Alright,” you said with a giggle, “As fun as this has been—“ You broke off as you had to prevent him from tumbling to the ground. “—we’re gonna go to bed.”
“Oh, come on,” Bactar insisted. “Stay a little longer.”
You gave him a look that told him there was no chance and pulled Ben up, wrapping his arm around your shoulders.
“Um, you guys might not, but Ben and I have a sparring match tomorrow and we need to actually sleep. Besides, someone needs to take him to his hut before he embarrasses himself any further.”
“But, we love this Ben! And he still hasn’t told us his hair secret!” Jannik called after you.
You ignored the rest of your classmates as they joined in with objections and threw up a wave when you began to walk away from the clearing with bringing your shoulder down a whole foot.
Ben attempted a wave as well, but it was more of a dismissing gesture than anything.
“Yeah, I think you took one hit too many,” you quipped. You were still feeling the effects of the herb, though certainly not to the extent that Ben was, but the effects where now coming in waves and at the moment you were feeling pretty okay. You were in no position to be flying a starfighter, but you had enough confidence to get you both back to each other’s respective huts without a problem.
The two of you finally reached the huts as soon as a wave of the herb’s euphoria hit you hard and suddenly you needed to lean on Ben for support instead of the other way around. Luckily, he was able to support you and you felt the vibrations in his chest as he chuckled next to you.
Smiling, you nuzzled closer to him. His chest was always so warm and smelt like him. It felt like home.
He led you over to your hut and set you down on your bed. You nearly thought he’d taken you to a luxury hotel, because this was the best bed you had ever had the pleasure of laying in.
“This is literally the most comfortable bed in the galaxy,” you sighed, spreading yourself around the sheets in relaxation.
You heard Ben snort and then you felt the bed dip next to you and you were surprised to see him getting under the covers, shirt already off.
“W-what are you doing?” you slurred, heart beginning to pick up speed.
Ben ignored you. “You’re right, this is the most comfortable bed in the world.”
“Ben,” you insisted, even inebriated you knew this was not a good idea.
He shrugged and waved you off. “I don’t feel like walking all the way to my hut, so we might as well.”
You debated with yourself. He was obviously only agreeing to this because of his intoxication and what kind of friend would you be to take advantage of that? Then again, you were also intoxicated and the thought of being in Ben’s warm arms filled you with a warmth you couldn’t deny yourself. You decided to just let the pieces fall where they may and let whatever the Force had in store for you to work itself out.
But, you were keeping on your clothes.
You looked back over at him to see he was already gazing at you with a lazy grin on his face.
“What?” you asked with a giggle.
“If you would’ve told fourteen year old me that eight years from then I would be sharing a bed with Y/N, I would’ve said you were crazy.”
You giggled loudly as your cheeks flared. “Same here.”
If you weren’t under the influence, this conversation would’ve caused your heart to sink all the way to your stomach and you’d probably have to leave to tent before your cheeks became fiery warm. But now, with both of you being guided into a state of euphoria with Savorium herb, you couldn’t be happier with the current topic. After all, you had the freedom to say all the things you couldn’t when you were sober, right?
You really knew you shouldn’t, but you herb infused mind had different ideas and you opened your mouth to speak.
“Hey, Ben?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you remember when your mom took us to Naboo?” you slurred, prying your eyes open with immense effort.
Why were you bringing this up? You should not be bringing this up. But, your mouth didn’t get the message to stop, so you kept going.
Ben stayed silent for a moment, staring at the ceiling.
“Ben?”
He finally seemed to come back to his senses. “Uh, yeah, I remember.”
“And we snuck off to the lake to avoid that boring dinner.”
“Mhm,” he agreed, closing his eyes with a smile.
“The waves were so pretty that night...we were so happy...I wish every night could be like that...”
You let your eyes close as your mind went back to that day; you could almost taste...
“Me too,” you heard him say from what sounded like terribly far way.
You were too intoxicated to grasp what he was really saying to you and you felt your consciousness slipping by the second. The last thing you felt was Ben’s beautiful presence glowing next to you and you wanted to call out but the thick blanket of sleep was too all consuming.
Your dreams were about Naboo waters and fumbling hands. A secret kiss that you swore to never talk about and a few more kisses just because the temptation was too much after having had a taste.
(A/N: Please reblog and let me know what you guys thought of the chapter!)
@merandlune​  @lover1307​ @bepo-is-sorry​ @snakelaufeyson​ @supervengerslock​ @shockwavee​ @kilo-wrench​ @ohhh-boo-tiful​@serenityofbeingascintilla  @ladyzirkonia​  @fandomshit6000 @i-am-lokii-of-asgard​​​ @siren-queen03​​ @dark-night-sky-99​ @nickangel13​​​ @girlyisthatweirdkid​ @edwardspaghedwardtozier​ @irreverent-dream​​ @amberkay284​ @struggling-writer​​ @steverogersbish 
34 notes · View notes
Pumpkin Man
Andrew thought he got rid of the man he suspected had an affair with his wife. Little did he know that he problems only started to take root in his backyard. 
Chapter One
 Andrew
May 16, 2021. It will be the day I forever regret. The day I killed my Robert Norstrum. He was a co-worker of Stacy, my wife. They worked at a local home depot at a town over, she worked in the garden section while he worked in electrical.  He was a  short man with piercing blue eyes and dark black hair who always had something clever to say and chose the most annoying way to say it. I know that I could be rough around the edges, not as easy going as some but that didn’t mean that he needed to bother my wife. I am a good father to our child and got a degree in software engineering so I could pay for our beautiful house with a garden that Stacy loved. Our home that we made was the perfect slice of heaven
There was nothing extraordinary about Robert that I could see, but I could see that my wife thought of him differently. Initially, when she spoke about him, her eyes would light up. Eventually she caught on to my disgust for him and just mentioned him on occasion, but at that point only the slightest mention would send me in a bad mood. And then there were the lapses of time I didn’t know where she was. She said she was going out to the store or out for a walk, but all I could imagine was her talking and giggling with that man with the blue eyes. When I mentioned it to her, she said that I was paranoid. The feeling was similar to that of right before one gets a head cold. You can sense something is off, but can’t quite put your finger on it.   I remember my growing anxiety that I might lose my house, my wife and my kid along with everything I worked so hard to accomplish.  
 That day Robert Nostrum showed up at my door looking for her. It was in the middle of the day and I was working from home at that time taking my lunch. Stacy took Talyor, our daughter, on a playdate, and would not be back for hours. He said that he was dropping off a mums, and a giant pumpkin plant that she had been eyeing. I remember looking at the plant and thinking that I was the only man that should be giving Stacy gifts. I led him down into the basement where I said I had electrical problems and needed another man’s eyes on it. From there it was quite simple, while he was looking at the electrical work I hit him on the back of the head with a crowbar. There was no struggle as he seemed to be in shock. He fell to the floor and as I bludgeoned his face until it was unrecognizable.  From there wrapped his body in an old carpet and put it in a wheelbarrow. It was in the middle of the day and I knew that most of the neighbors were at work in upper class suburbia. I emailed work quickly citing a family emergency so I could deal with the remains. My backyard also had a thin veil of trees from one property to the other making it difficult to see adjoining properties unless one was intent on looking. I dug a deep grave in the freshly tilled soil of the garden rather fast. Where the tiller did not reach I used a pick ax to loosen the dirt, the wet spring soil easily breaking under my shovel . I dug it much deeper than anyone would ever uncover. I knew I would tell Stacy next year that the garden would have to be moved next year and make some excuse that there was better light in other places of the lawn, but changing the location of the garden now would be too much work without a better cause. After digging the grave, I simply dumped the body in with the pumpkin plant that he came with. It was almost chilling to see that after I put back the earth around the grave, that it looked no different than the garden surrounding it. I cleaned the mess in the basement. Taking his car and I drove it to a local deserted park wearing plastic gloves to make sure I left no fingerprints. By the time Stacy was home with Taylor, so I told her that I had taken a short walk around town and I would be back in a few hours. That was the last I thought Robert Northstom would bother me, my wife or my daughter but I was horribly wrong.  
Chapter Two
 Stacy 
Stacy looked outside the french windows as the crisp fall air touched her face. It wasn’t really cold, but the air was definitely getting drier and she could feel a sense of autumn wrapping its arms around her. Stacy could hardly believe it was autumn. It seemed like just yesterday that it was the start of the season at the store and she was laying out new plants that had just sprouted. That was when Robert kept her company at the store. He was nothing more than a friend but a real close one and his absence along with the socialization that Stacy got from working made Stacy feel uneasy transitioning back home. Stacy always found the adjustment back to full time stay at home mom overwhelming, but this year it seemed to hit even more. Taylor and her family were her life but Andrew had a tendency to be distant and Taylor could be a handful. Work sometimes seemed a lot less complicated than her home life. 
  Stacy savored the few moments before Taylor, her five year old, woke up and started creating havoc in the house with her toys. She could hear that her husband Andrew had already started working upstairs on his computer. He didn’t say a word to her this morning, but that was the way things usually were. He wasn’t distant when they first started dating, Stacy couldn’t really put her finger on it when they stopped saying good morning to each other, but now that was just the way it was. Stacy walked into the kitchen and started making breakfast with Edgar, the cat closely at her heels. Stacy was barely done with the eggs when she heard Taylor clomping down the stairs. 
“Mommy!’ Taylor cheered as she entered the kitchen. She squatted down near Edgar and gently pulled his tail. Immediately Edgar scrambled out of the kitchen. 
“Taylor, don’t pull his tail. That hurts him.” Stacy said. 
“I’m sorry Mommy.”  Taylor muttered, sitting in her chair. 
“What do you want to do today? We could go to the farm and go for a tractor ride. Does that sound fun?” Stacy asked. 
“Scarecrow!" Taylor exclaimed, pointing out the windows towards the garden. 
This year the garden was a bust. Every plant Stacy planted died almost immediately as if the land was intentionally salted. The death had also creeped a little in the yard right up to the house resulting in a horrible looking yard. Stacy was sure it was just a bad grub problem this year, but then, in the middle of July, a pumpkin plant started to flourish in the garden. It soon consumed the barren garden with cascading leaves and pulsating veiny stems. 
Since it was the only plant growing in the garden the pumpkin plant demanded the attention of the garden. In the middle of the vegetation lay a single pumpkin. It was not a huge pumpkin, slightly bigger than one’s head.
“Ok, we can do that.” Stacy knew Andrew should probably be included in the family activity, but he never seemed interested with any of the plants this year.
He even mentioned killing the plant and starting afresh making a new garden, but Stacy and Taylor would not allow it.
Stacy and Taylor walked out into the garden. The strong early autumn sun warmed the air but the dryness was still there. Taylor pranced out in the lawn already distracted by the sunshine and the earth. Stacy went into the garage grabbing paper, a pencil, cutting utensils, an old flannel shirt, jeans and gloves. Walking back to the house Stacy grabbed paints and a paintbrush. Painting was much more safe than carving knives. 
“Andrew, we are going to make a scarecrow. I was wondering if you were free to help me cut off the stalk?”
“Umm.. sure. I will be there soon” Andrew mumbled.
Stacy walked out in the yard and helped Taylor gather leaves for the scarecrow’s body. Andrew came out to the yard a few minutes later with a knife.
“Daddy!” Taylor ran to Andrew. Andrew threw the knife a safe distance away and grabbed Taylor spinning her in the air.
Stacy looked at both Andrew and Taylor with the backdrop of their house. Everything about their life was picture perfect at this moment as she joined her family in an embrace.
 “We are going to make a scarecrow today?’ Andrew asked, dropping Taylor and picking up the knife again.
“Yes, Scarecrow!”  Stacy cheered.
Stacy noticed Andrew's face became firmer when he looked at the garden. He picked up the knife in his hand and walked towards the pumpkin. Sitting down, Andrew sliced the stem.
Errikkk
A distant scream cried out that sounded like it came a few houses over.  The knife barely made an abrasion on the stalk.
“Mommy, I’m scared.” Taylor cooed.
“It’s ok baby.” Stacy said.
Andrew readjusted the pumpkin and tried again.
Ahhhh 
Another distant scream seemed to vibrate out of the ground. This time the knife made a cut an inch deep.
“Stop!” Taylor shrieked, running towards the house. Stacy looked toward Andrew.”
“Is that noise coming from the pumpkin?” Stacy questioned. 
“Don’t be silly, those sounds aren’t coming from the plant. I will get it.” Andrew grumbled.
Stacy turned to get Taylor back in the house listening to the continued screaming coming from outside until she entered the house. In the house, Taylor was in the living room watching Andrew cut the pumpkin.
“It’s ok. The pumpkin plant can’t feel anything.” Stacy reassured Taylor.
They watched Andrew cut the pumpkin off it’s stalk and cut a hole for the pole. The way here was something rough about him when carving the object, the way that he even held the pumpkin like a severed head caused Stacy shivers. After doing his diligence, Andrew walked back to the house and went back to work in his upstairs study, without saying a word
“So, paint time?” Stacy suggested.
“Yes!” Taylor squealed.
Stacy and Taylor went back to the yard with the paint supplies.
“He could be a friendly pumpkin. He could be a friend to the trees and birds.” Stacy suggested.
“Yes, he will be friendly! Here Mommy I did it.” Taylor said
Stacy gazed upon her child’s artwork. Perhaps it was friendly to a five year old, but to Stacy it had a creepy edge to it. The pumpkin had a bright red grin that reached half the span of the pumpkin like a clown mouth. His nose was a lopsided yellow triangle and above that were huge blue eyes with black pupils.
“Looks great sweetie.” Stacy said, trying to hide her aversion to her daughter’s artwork. Taylor seemed oblivious to Stacy's thoughts.
“Hello, Mr. Scarecrow.” Taylor chirped as Stacy hammered a post on the edge of the garden and assembled the body. When she was finished it was 3:30 in the afternoon.
“Ok Taylor, time to clean up and go in. I’m going to start dinner for Daddy now.” Stacy said.
“But I want to play with Mr. Scarecrow now. He has to have friends”.  Taylor protested.
“You can be his friend tomorrow.” Stacy said handing Taylor paint supplies. Taylor sighed and started helping Stacy clean up.
That evening after dinner the family set down to watch TV. The sun was setting earlier and already at 7 o clock the inky blackness of night had set in. Having little attention for TV this week, Stacy wandered into the kitchen. Passing by her French windows, she noticed Edger the cat transfixed with the outside world.
“What is it Edger? Do you see a mouse?” Stacy said. Edger looked back at her, now seeing that he got her attention, Edger began crying to the outside.
“Stop it, there's nothing out there.” Stacy said as she put the dishes in the dishwasher.
Nevertheless, the cat began crying more and more, like Stacy had not heard before.
“What’s up with Edger?” Andrew asked.
“I don’t know.” Stacy said, grabbing a mask and shooing away the cat from the windows.
Quickly frisking the darkness with a flashlight Stacy didn’t see anything new in the lawn, but as her flashlight hit the pumpkin,  for a split-second, Stacy could have sworn that the pumpkin had narrowed its eyes.
 Chapter Three 
Stacy
The next day, Stacy was rushing to clean the house. Taylor’s friend, Amanda, was coming over.
“Is Amanda here yet? I want to show her Mr. Scarecrow today!” Taylor announced, holding a few stuffed animals in her hand.
“Ok, but you need to get dressed in the clothes I laid out for you and brush your teeth.” Stacy said, feeling overwhelmed. Andrew went to get coffee for himself a half an hour ago and hadn't come back yet. She can’t really blame him; Amanda’s parents were not their favorite people. There was no one reason why she disliked Amanda’s parents, but they could be rude at times. Stacy just would rather prefer dealing with them and her daughter together rather than alone.  Hearing a door slam, Stacy turned her attention to the street to see Amanda being dropped off by her parents at the curb. Stacy breathed a sigh of relief. At least the feelings she had toward Amanda’s parents were mutual. Amanda clamored out of the car and rang the doorbell.
“Amanda!” Taylor squealed. She still was in her pajamas.
The two jumped around the living room with a loud greeting.
“Ok Taylor, get your clothes on and you two can play outside.” Stacy said.
“Yes Mom.” Giving Stacy an exaggerated salute Taylor raced up the stairs to her bedroom.
Waiting for Taylor, Amanda went to the kitchen overlooking the backyard.
“What’s that?” Amanda asked
“That’s a scarecrow we made.” Stacy explained.
“Wow!” Amanda exclaimed, transfixed by the garden ornament.
“You can go out there and I’ll let Taylor know.” Stacy offered.
Amanda ran out to see the scarecrow, soon followed by Taylor after she got dressed. At first, Stacy watched the pair talk next to the scarecrow, but eventually they were prancing around him and playing with stuffed animals with him.  Stacy noticed that the children never touched the scarecrow, and that he  remained perfectly still like a statue.  Stacy found it rather amusing. Of all the toys she had purchased for Taylor, a scarecrow made out of old clothes provided hours of entertainment. Andrew came back from his coffee run and helped clean the house. It was nearing the time that Amanda had to go, but Stacy still wanted to play with the kids before she left.
“Let's go play with the girls.” Stacy offered hugging Andrew.
“Sounds like fun, let’s do it.” Andrew replied, kissing her on the forehead. They walked out of the house to the lawn across the lawn where Stacy could only see the profile of the scarecrow still facing the house.
“Hey kids, do you want to jump in the leaves?” Stacy announced. More had fallen than yesterday and there was enough for a small child to jump in.
“Yeah!" Taylor and Amanda raced toward Stacy leaving their playthings near the scarecrow. They ran towards Stacy’s pile of leaves screaming with delight. Stacy looked at her watch Amanda’s mother would be here any minute.
“Girls, go get your stuffed animals, Amanda your Mom should be here any minute.” Stacy said.
“Ugg! Already? I want to stay.” Amanda protested.
“I am sure you guys can pick up where you left off next time.” Stacy said as she noticed Amanda’s mother come in the backyard, her eyes not moving off the phone that she had in her hand.
“Mommy, Mommy! I had so much fun!” Amanda cried to her mother.
“Mhmm that’s great honey. Come on, we have to go.” Amanda’s mother started giving a quick wave to Stacy’s family and then turned around.
“Mommy, I want to go inside. I don’t think that Mr. Scarecrow likes it that we are playing without him. We should probably stop”. Taylor announced.
“Nonsense, it's just a scarecrow. If you are tired, we will play more tomorrow,” Andrew said.
“Ok” Taylor said, running back to the house, very unlike a child that was tired.
“She left her animals out here." Andrew pointed out.
Stacy followed his gaze across the yard, to notice that the scarecrow’s head was turned, and his blue eyes were staring at them. She also noticed that the wide grin on his face started to run downwards,  creating the appearance of cheeks making him more human-like.
“Was it turned in this direction the whole time?” Stacy asked.
“I don’t know. I wasn't paying attention. Amanda’s mother could have moved it.’ Andrew replied.
Stacy walked into the garden to get Taylor’s stuffed animals, but she could not shake the feeling of another being’s presence. She thought about it, then straightened the pumpkin’s head back facing the house. Leaving the pumpkin man in the yard, Stacy ran back into the house without making a second glance.
Back in the house, Stacy washed her hands and started making dinner as Taylor played with her Legos.
“So Taylor, how was playing with Amanda?" Stacy asked.
“We mostly talked and played with Mr. Scarecrow.” Taylor said uninterested in the conversation.
“What did he say to you?” Stacy questioned.
“Well, he said that he likes the eyes that I gave him but he still can’t see well. He said that Daddy is a bad man and he wants to take things from Daddy the way he took things from him. I didn’t understand it. I told him that Daddy was nice and that Daddy can share because sharing is good. Then we played but I think he got mad when we started playing with Daddy. That’s ok, I will play with him tomorrow.” Taylor said still focused on her Legos.
Stacy furrowed her brow.
“Well, I want you to play with Daddy as much as you can.”  Stacy said. After she was done in the kitchen, Stacy balanced though the Legos to talk to Andrew.
“That was very strange stuff.” Stacy said.
“Children have a very active imagination, but if you want to take it down you can.” Andrew suggested. He was reading a book upstairs by himself, just as interested in talking to Stacy as Taylor was.
“But she's attached to it, I can’t just destroy it.” Stacy said.
“I don’t know, destroy it, leave it up. Doesn’t matter to me.” Andrew said not looking away from his book.
Feeling frustrated, Stacy left the room. It had always been like this- Andrew was reliable when it came to having fun with Taylor, but uninterested when it came to actual parenting.
Back downstairs, Taylor was still playing with her Legos, and Edger started his odd behavior of crying at the French doors. Stacy scooped up the cat and put him in the basement, too emotionally drained to deal with him. She told herself she would give the scarecrow three more days and then tell Andrew to get rid of it.
 Chapter Four 
Andrew 
I have had nightmares of Robert Nordstrom ever since I killed him. Sometimes he is there in the corner of my mind, just staring at me with glittering blue eyes like his scarecrow stands in our yard. In my dreams when I try to destroy him he seems to take something of mine, like an eye or a limb. After killing him the dream would continue but I would live out my life suffering as an amputee or blind. These dreams led me to roam the house at night. I wanted to destroy that scarecrow, but I knew that it would take it’s revenge, if not on me than on my family. So I will just watch it for now. My hope is that he will rot into the soft earth he came out of, and I would never have to deal with Robert Nordstrom or his ghost again.  
Chapter Five 
Stacy
The next day the ground was encrusted in a light frost. Unable to sleep well, Stacy slept in the living room downstairs. The morning sun woke her up and Stacy looked out at the lawn. The first thing that drew her eye was Mr. Scarecrow, although there was nothing more different with him this morning that she could see from this distance other than the fact that one of his gloves came off. Suddenly she heard movement from upstairs and the sound of little feet.
“Baby, what are you doing this early?” Stacy asked.
“I had nightmares. You were not in your room.” Taylor replied, clutching one of her stuffed animals near her face.
Stacy scooped up Taylor and put her on her hip.
“It’s ok. I could not sleep either. What do you want to do today?”
“I want to talk to Mr. Scarecrow.” Taylor said pointing at the backyard. 
“Let's do something else today. How about a hayride?” Stacy suggested. 
“No, I want to talk to him”. Taylor protested. 
“Err, ok, but only for a few minutes and then we are going to go to the hayride.” Stacy said, walking out the back yard as Taylor skipped next to her. 
When they reached Mr. Scarecrow, it was obvious things had changed. His round pumpkin face had rotted away to reveal a more human-like skull making his eyes more sunken in. When Stacy put Mr. Scarecrow’s glove back on the stake she noticed that the wood on the stake decayed in the shape of a wrist. Taylor started to whimper and hide behind Stacy. 
“Mr. Scarecrow is more angry today. He wants to hurt Daddy.” Taylor whispered to Stacy. 
Stacy didn’t want to bother Andrew anymore during the day with the scarecrow.
“Let's go to the farm and take a hayride, then when we get back I will have Daddy talk to Mr. Scarecrow, Ok?” Stacy said. 
She grabbed Taylor’s hand and guided her towards the driveway, frequently checking her back. 
When they got home, it was almost sunset. Stacy quickly busied herself with dinner. As soon as the sun went down, Edgar started crying at the French windows. 
“Edger, stop it.” Stacy muttered, grabbing the flashlight and pulling back the curtain. The night was bright and she could see the gleam of the scarecrow's head against the moon. 
“Mommy, what's going on?” Taylor whined. 
“Nothing babe. It’s just Edger. It’s time to go to bed.” Stacy scooped up Taylor and led her towards her room. Up on the second story, Stacy got Taylor ready for bed, opening the windows to let in the perfect autumn sleeping weather. 
Thump Thump Thump 
“Mommy, what's that? Is that Mr. Scarecrow outside?” Stacy looked out the window. It was hard to make anything out, but in the place of the pumpkin man there was only a stick left where he once stood. 
‘Yes he is out there somewhere. Here go to bed now.” Stacy tucked Taylor in. 
“Mommie”. Taylor whined. 
“Taylor, nothing is going to get you here. Now go to bed,” Stacy ordered, giving her daughter a kiss on the cheek. 
“Everything will be alright.” Stacy said, closing the door behind her. The house was well lit as Stacy walked down stairs. Grabbing a flashlight Stacy walked outside on the back porch and showed it to the dark lawn. Frisking the flashlight over the lawn Stacy now saw clearly the face of Robert Norstrum in the garden.
“Bob?” Stacy screeched, dropping the flashlight in the house. The light scattered and fell onto the floor breaking the bulb. Stacy raced back in the house and fumbled for a new flashlight in her cabinet, frequently keeping her eye on the yard behind her. Grabbing the flashlight in her hand Stacy undid the lock on the french windows and stepping out into the night, not noticing her husband watching her from the kitchen. 
Chapter Six
Andrew  
I heard her yell his name and run out into the dark. At this point there was no doubt that the pumpkin contorted to the shape of a man’s face though decay and now resembled a man with blue eyes, whether that man was Robert I had my doubts. Nevertheless, the scarecrow was bothering everyone in this house, so I had to do something.  I did not intend on hurting Stacy as I walked slowly behind her, crowbar in my hand to destroy the creation that was on my property. It was only when I stopped a few yards away when I saw her reach out the thing and touch the pumpkin man’s rotten flesh. My mind raced as I realized that by removing Robert from the picture, it did not replace me in her heart. My wife was the precious thing that Robert took. As this occurred to me a numbness came upon me as I ran toward the scarecrow to destroy it. I must have tripped on a massive root in the yard  while I was running toward her because the crowbar landed squalry on top of her head. She yelped in pain or surprise as she fell toward the scarecrow. The light was low,  but I could see that she lay motionless around a thick spray of dark red liquid. There was no running from what I had done. Even if she were to be still alive, I would have to try to explain to people what happened - the police or the hospital or something. She was too far away from the house to claim that she fell from our bedrooms.  Suddenly I saw vines emerging from the pumpkin wrapping around her body. I hurled the crowbar again and again at the pumpkin destroying it’s rotten grotesque face. I missed a few times creating a soggy pile of brains and pumpkin at my feet. When the task was complete I buried her in the garden and tilled in the pumpkin plant as much as I could. The next day I tilled the garden and called 911 to report a missing person.  It wasn’t until Taylor woke up to discover that her mother had disappeared in the night that the thought of raising her alone came to me. 
After a few years had gone by it was clear that Robert took more than my wife that day. Like my dreams, I now walk around mentally suffering and disfigured. My lawn is filled with pumpkin sprouts that I constantly hack with a fear that a pumpkin will appear again. On May 16, 2021 I thought Robert Northstorm was out of my life, but now he haunts me every day. 
1 note · View note
seemslegitflapjacks · 3 years
Text
Chapter 6; I Melt.
When we came in, a small bell rang above the door. The place looked like an old 80’s diner, which was kind of weird, I’d never seen a Baskin Robbins like this one. The walls and seats were decorated with the trademark pink and blue. The ice cream at the counter front displayed through a wall of frosty cold glass, some pop music playing through the speakers above. I walked up to the front and gazed down at all the ice cream flavors, trying to look for my favorite.
“Hey guys.” Someone piped up from behind the counter, I looked up, seeing that same beady eyed blonde kid at the register.
“Hey Falon.” Randy replied, stepping up next to me, his ugly muddy hazel eyes looking down at the ice cream, “Strawberry cheesecake.” He ordered, the blonde quickly scooping up a lump of it and slapping it into a waffle cone, handing it over the counter to the redhead.
“Ayo gimme some rocky road you know how it is.” Troy spoke as he shoved his head under my arm, the other two laughing at him.
The guy handed us the ice cream cones we got, I went to pay, Keith quickly pushing my hand back as he pulled his wallet out and gave the guy a few bills.
As we walked out, I looked over to him, “Hey, uh, you didn’t have to pay for us.” I told him.
“I know, I just wanted to. You guys are new, thought it'd be nice.” He answered, straight up biting into the cone.
“Thanks, we really appreciate it man.” Liu told him with a small head nod as we all took a seat at the outside tables.
“No problem dude.” Keith told him as he sat himself down next to me.
We talked for the majority of the time we were there, Liu mostly stayed on his phone, not paying any mind to us. The other three didn’t seem to mind him at all, they were more interested in talking to me. Which I was completely fine with, I didn’t mind socializing at all. These guys were cool, it was a blessing to get some friends on the first day. Especially some that I had a lot in common with.
For the most part, Keith took the liberty of talking to me, keeping me included in the conversation. It made me feel nice, he was actually pretty chill, melting the awkward tension we had when we first met a week ago. A few drops of ice cream melting onto his hand as he occasionally slurped it off, complaining about how it made his hands sticky. I chuckled at his whining, throwing him a napkin for his hands, to which he thanked me for. The longer we talked, the more orange the sky got. The sun set as we had long finished our cones.
Troy excused himself, saying his parents were parked to take him home, we told him goodbye as he walked off, leaving just the four of us. Liu still not engaging in any of the conversations we were having, instead looking on his phone. Sometimes, he made me worry, he never really socialized much. I didn’t want him getting mad he was left out, but I also didn’t want him to get mad at me for interrupting whatever he was doing. I distanced my attention from him to keep my mind off of it, keeping myself busy by talking to Keith and Randy.
Sooner or later, we began to drag ourselves into the nearby skatepark. Alt rock blasted through the speakers as a bunch of kids zipped by on skateboards and scooters. I felt really out of place, I would’ve brought my bike with me if I knew any of this was going to happen. Now I just look like a stupid idiot who has no clue what’s going on. I looked around, seeing some of the kids cower away when we walked in, specifically from the sight of Randy. Nothing weird, I caught notice of it crossing paths with him from time to time during today. Kids just didn’t seem to like being around him. I didn’t understand why, he was cool to hang out with. Never crossed me that people were scared of him.
I stood around, until Keith elbowed me in the shoulder.
“What?” I asked.
“Come on, I wanna teach you something dude.” He told me, pulling me to the side of the park away from the other kids.
I looked at him a bit confused, before he reached behind my head and tied some of my hair back out of my face. I won’t lie, I near about rocked his shit, but I stopped myself from moving my fist. I never let nobody touch my hair, but I’ll let it slide. I didn’t need to get a bad rep on the first day here. I kept my head.
“There, now you can see.” He smiled, quickly resting his skateboard on the ground, before turning back to me.
“So, what are you gonna teach me?” I asked, dragging on a few words with a bit of sass.
“Skateboarding.” He smiled, making me mentally fear for my face’s safety.
He helped me up onto the board, It was really shaky, I didn’t like it. I slowly followed what he told me to do, pivoting my right foot directly forward as I used my left to push myself forward. I didn good for a yard, until I got scared and dragged my left to stop myself, nearly falling forward as I stumbled off. Keith laughed as he continued to try and help me.
After a long evening of me falling off a skateboard and nearly breaking my face a few times, it was time for Liu and I to head home. Which, I was pretty sad about. I had a good time with these guys, I didn’t wanna go home, but unfortunately I had to. Keith took us all back to his car, Randy taking a spot in the back next to my brother, while Keith let me sit in the front next to him. Occasionally he’d tease me about how dumb I looked with Randy, but it was a good laugh fro all of us really. Liu, however, didn’t care at all, he seemed more annoyed with them.
I glanced at Keith every now and then, taking in his face. He had a sharp jawline with defined cheekbones. His lips had two piercings, I think he also had one on his brow. He looked pretty cool, which made me want to get some more piercings, but the earrings alone were enough for my dad to get onto me, so I oughta not push it. His hair looked so fluffy and jagged, I liked how it hid his face, it made him look a lot more attractive. I didn’t know what I felt for him, but it was like my insides were melting ice cream. It made me feel a good type of sick.
I reached for the music, Keith quickly snatching my hand.
“My car, my radio.” He told me.
“No dude trust me I have a good taste in music.” I argued.
“I’m not so sure about that Mississippi.” He snapped, Randy snickering in the back.
‘No really it’s good.” I laughed.
“FIne, if it’s about trucks and girls I am going to lose it.” He warned me, to which I rolled my eyes.
I turned a few channels ahead, trying to find the one specific station I liked. After a short moment of switching through channels, some Linkin Park quickly began to play through the radio.
“Ok, you weren’t lying.” He told me, a sheepish smile on his face.
“Yeah, I’m a swine but I ain’t uncultured.” I told him in a prideful tone.
Once he’d dropped Randy off, I told him where our house was, Keith taking his sweet time with the turns. The sky was a twilight blue, almost nighttime. He slowly stopped the car in front of our driveway, Liu quickly making his exit.
“Bye, thanks for the ride home man, I really appreciate it.” I told him.
“No problem, you guys are cool, it’s awkward being new, I’ve been there.” He replied with a friendly smile.
I nearly stepped out and closed the door, noticing I still had my hair up, turning around, “Oh hey here’s the-” I started, before getting interrupted.
“Nah dude keep it, I’ll pick you guys up tomorrow by the way. Catch you later Jeff.” He told me, with a smile, rolling up the window as he drove away.
I stepped inside, sitting at the dinner table with my family. That same ice cream melting feeling coming back as I slowly smiled.
3 notes · View notes