#my first week and im literally working all week

[skribblezcorner]

WIP WEDNESDAY EVERYBODY!!!!!

heres a new fic im working on where Sanji gets his tongue pierced on a dare. it’s zosan ofc but that part comes a little later ✨✨ enjoy the three lines i have written thanks

__________

Ah, shit, is the first thing Sanji thinks when he wakes up, sprawled across the deck and surrounded by his snoring crewmates.

There's a headache pounding ferociously behind his eyes, and he’s still wearing the same clothes he had on last night. Speaking of, he can’t seem to remember last night. It’s not an uncommon occurrence for the entire crew to get piss-drunk and pass out on the Sunny’s lawn (They’re pirates, for god’s sake), but Sanji has never been this disoriented when he wakes up the next morning.

Warmed by the few rays of sun peeking through the morning clouds, he staggers up and picks his way through all the bodies on the floor. He takes a a moment to stretch, and when he yawns, he feels a twinge of pain in his mouth. Strange, but Sanji doesn’t really have the metal capacity to worry about anything right now. He drags his feet to the bathroom to brush his teeth before he gets started on breakfast.

Upon entering the bathroom, he makes the astute observation that he looks like shit. His hair is greasy and sticking up in places, he only has on one shoe, and three buttons are missing from the only casual shirt he owns. In addition, some of his stubble is growing back- he really needs to shave. Great. He sighs and finds his toothbrush from the many scattered all over the sink’s counter. He puts on a pea-sized amount of toothpaste, looks back up at the mirror and opens his mouth, and-

He screams.

—

Usopp is the first one is the first one to come running inside, bleary-eyed and mumbling something along the lines of “What? What happened!?”

Once Sanji turns toward him though, all of his concern immediately disappears and he starts laughing. Hysterically.

Sanji would threaten him to shut the fuck up, but he literally can't. He can barely even move his face now because his tongue has blown up like a fucking balloon inside of his mouth around what looks like a shiny silver bar. In short, Sanji has a fucking piercing. In his mouth. Why, or how, he has no idea- but it looks like Usopp does.

“Oh my god,” Usopp manages between cackles, the fucker he is, “You- stay, just-” he dissolves back into a fit of laughter and rushes out of the room. This leaves Sanji staring at the door with a dripping toothbrush and still no explanation.

After a few minutes, Usopp comes back with a cameko in his hands. “Just know, i had no part in this. In fact, I was sleeping. Yes, sleeping- I was so tired, you know…”

Sanji levels him with a blank stare. “Yeah…” Usopp stammers, “Okaytakethisbye!” He pushes the snail into Sanji’s hands and then scrambles out again.

Sanji looks down at the cameko in his hands, turning it around to the compartment on it’s back. He flips out the screen to the last recorded video, and presses play.

__________

hope you liked this little snippet!!!! the rest will (HOPEFULLY) be coming iut in the next two weeks, so watch out for that!!!

#one piece #black leg sanji #vinsmoke sanji #stupid things you do while drunk #zosan #TONGUE PIERCING #taz skylar made it canon i’m just fulfilling my duties #one piece usopp #save me usopp #wip wednesday #current wip

[satsuha]

u know im back on my bullshit

#octopath traveler ii #octopath traveler 2 #satsuhart #temehika #hikari ku #temenos mistral #i thought long and hard about whether temenos is a catboy or a dogboy (hound) #and in the end i decided on arctic fox. #i have.... thoughts but theyre all spoilery thoughts like no literally no one can talk about why they like them without mentioning spoilers #ive been seeing it happen on twt for like the past 2 weeks #but anyway (spoiler) (spoiler) just trust me dude. theyre a good ship #it has nothing to do with the fact that ive liked mage warrior ships for the past 5 years. shut up #also i bought csp v2 and the shading assist... she popped off a little w that one ngl #but im still very angry about csp's terrible autosave function #like fun fact that first pic? i dont have it in .clip format anymore LOL #it also deleted the little pic i made about my ship taste but i didnt know and i deleted that tweet bc i was embarrassed #i mean it isnt a big loss i can remake it anytime but like. shaking fist at csp autosave function #tags are really quite dangerous im not even sure if theres a limit? ill stop here tho gn... i am working on a temehika fic 👍 #octo2

[deoidesign]

please take as much time as you need to rest and recover. burn out is so hard and takes so much to heal from. your art and your supporters will still be here when you get back :) take care <3

Thank you very much

Unfortunately, my situation doesn't really allow me to take the time I need. I've got a ~two month hiatus scheduled for my midseason, but much like my first hiatus I'll most likely be working double time during it...

It's unfortunate because I could really really use a bigger break!

Having the time and flexibility to work on other projects really fires me up and keeps me going, and being able to take a guilt free day off for family and friends is necessary to my mental health, and I've been having to turn people down lately...

This is a very kind message, and I'm sorry to vent in response! But I just feel transparency about the pressure I'm under is necessary and important. I'd love to take the time I really need, but due to deadlines and that pesky "needing money to live" I can't.

But, once the series is over I intend to take a pretty big break before I start whatever I'm doing next! I've got so many short stories and projects planned that I want so badly to get to, I can't wait to really get to truly dive in to them!

#im so sorry to take a nice message and respond like this! but just... trust me haha i know my supporters are genuinely here for me <3 #but webtoon... not so much unfortunately. i mean im sure i could take a longer break but theres the looming anxiety #that ill get in trouble or itll ruin my chances of working with them again etc etc #i took this week and i genuinely took it off. sort of? i flew to a convention which was exhausting #and i did paintings that i hope to print eventually #and i. started planning and prepping for a Kickstarter. for time and time again... #so ive still been working the whole time. but i love working! #i just... like to be able to work on things OTHER than time and time again... #and unfortunately for a few months. more than a few months. i haven't been able to do anything outside of it. #even all of my paintings have been for it cause i cant afford to switch my mindset! #my first hiatus i moved. worked on a pitch for my next series. and then i made two episodes a week the entire time #and i still ran out of episodes... #i dont know if im just not fast enough or if something is wrong with my brain that i have to fight to get it to focus but. #yeah i mean ive been burned out! been really burned out for like a year now #i can tell by how much better i feel after literally 1 week of doing anything else #and how tired i feel explaining this and knowing ive got another 3 months before i get another break #ok sorry i vented a lot more in the tags. it's hard to explain all of this eloquently and i like my posts to be somewhat professional #asks #anon #vent #delete later #and also how often my brain keeps wanting me to like. beg for 'nice words' from other people #(i always stop myself from asking people for compliments and stuff because otherwise i get very carried away and do it too regularly) #(people are very nice to me all the time. the kindness is endless and i need to let myself recognize and appreciate it rather than seek more #(its sort of a mental health thing I've been trying to like... force myself to do) #(for myself and my longevity but also for others sake lol. ive been bad about it in the past)

[famewolf]

speaking of ocd, I think I'm realizing that I truly don't have anxiety and it's literally just my ocd. im not anxious about anything until it involves me and suddenly I'm spiraling

#[static] #it's hard to describe succinctly but the anxiety I deal with nowadays is directly related to my ocd and autism #some anxiety is so easy to brush off but the ones stemming from my ocd are extremely difficult to get out from under #i'll spiral for weeks about one specific thing and ruminate on it and mentally worry and pick at it forever #it's utterly exhausting jfkdghdf some days are easier than others #and often that one thing I ruminate on becomes multiple things all stemming from the first thing #like recently it's been my car ... the thing is totally fine ... runs fine drives fine but ive been freaked out by it for the last 3 weeks #every time i go into the shop theyre like ... everything is good in fact its in good condition for its age and they'll mention like #one thing that will need to be replaced to keep it in tip top condition and then my brain will fixate on it and imagine all the ways #something horrific will happen if that doesnt get changed and then that leads to all the other things in the car suddenly freaking me out #i defs used to have general anxiety and depression but those went away literally the day i got top surgery #poof instantly gone it was wild and i kept waiting for the other shoe to drop #never did but now my ocd has been really bad the last 6 months cuz of all the extra horrifying things going on #so i thought it was just my anxiety coming back but this week i realized it was my ocd and have been treating it accordingly #and ive seen some relief but i definitely need to go back to therapy once i get my insurance again #its the only way to get a hold on it and my last therapist ended up moving states so we didnt get to work on tools for it very much #im yapping at this point i just needed to vent for a second about how truly yucky ocd makes me feel

[todayisafridaynight]

brother was talking to me about how if you almost die from an extreme-temperature-related incident then your body is just forever fucked towards that temperature and that's why i think kiryu and saejima are weak to ice. i dont know why aoki isn't like that too but ignore that statistic everything else tracks.

#snap chats #i already made this post highkey but im making it again cause i didnt know this was an actual real thing ☠️ #my brother learned this when he started to work for target. because apparently that's a thing they tell you frame one #'snap how did this topic even come up' i am LITERALLY so glad you asked :) the cold has almost claimed me twice #am i exaggerating Maybe but its my fucked up body temperature now listen #when i was younger i got locked out of my house for like. three hours since i was a latchkey kid #and my dad wasn't supposed to come home with my siblings (from their after school events) for Three Hours #and it had snowed outside and Was Cold Yeah and i couldn't get in cause i forgot my key like a weiner #and yeah. was really cold :) my dad was real cross with me when he found me shivering in the shed LOL #he made me hot cocoa tho so its ok. second incident's just funny No I Talk About It Evvery Other Week #and im p sure i talked bout the first incident too but yeah that time after the con when i was at my sister's #like i cannot stress how cold it was because It Was Late November and the cold still existed #and my sister's heater just. Didnt Work but yeah. i wont go into detail cause i share this story every five seconds #POINT IS i've always had a hard time with the cold- like i'm cold nearly all the time even if the room is 90 degrees #i wont be COLD cold but i'll be colder than i like #anyways can't believe i'm weak to ice this is so sad. i love winter.. #aoki isn't weak to ice cause uhhhh /aoki/ didnt almost die in the cold 🥴 masato did 🥴 #imagine changing your identity so well that you just remove your past elemental weakness. fucked up. #alright bye

[jinstronaut]

doing this cc wrapped has made me realize just how many of my sets are between 100 - 200 notes. like that's my average notes per set (re: jin a day specifically)

and that's wild all things considered lmao

#i never ever ever complain about notes bc usually i dont care but like #ive been doing this series for over a year #and cc's complain all the time when their sets arent getting enough notes but its still over 1000 at LEAST #and mine are...... all consistently under 500 and i say nothing #makes you think !!! truly a thankless job !!! #esp considering ive been doing the member set a day the longest since jin left first #and i rly just dont ......... get anything for it lmao #not that i Need anything bc its a way for me to cope while hes gone and its done a rly good job at keeping me happy + occupied #but like lets just get for real for one second..... this is fucked up lmao #how is it i can do this for over a year and get literally Nothing #and im also Not allowed to complain about it ever #can we all just recognize that can we just collectively agree this is fucked up please #OVER A YEAR. a set a day for OVER A YEAR. #for the sets to get 100 notes. MAYBE #like????????????????? #idk !!!! i didnt Invent the concept of course but like lets just !!! #be for real !!!!!!!!!! that my series tho its been the longest is also the smallest in terms of notes !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! a lil wild !!!!!!!! #anyways ill delete this i sound bitter but like im just #you try making hundreds of THOUSANDS of gifs #even when ur working 60+ hrs a week still finding time to make gifsets #for them to get literally Dirt #its demoralizing beyond compare #.txt

[cadykeus-clay]

.

#feeling like such a fake fan rn and i know like theres no such thing and its stupid or whatever #but i used to be caught up on cr i used to be the one who watched every new thing #and now im like a month behind on c3 i fell off both my c1 and c2 rewatches i havent seen the m9 reunion and im not watching london either #and im just so fucking busy. first year teacher. literally dont have 4 hours to spare in the week to just sit down and watch cr and if im #doing work while i watch it i wont be following any plot it's ltierally just background noise #and i want to be caught up so bad but i just cant justify it and i feel so bad and for what. for why. theres no reason #no ones making fun of me no ones saying anything but cr used to be an Event where i'd watch it live with my friends all in our living room #and someone would always make food and now i live alone and i cant watch live thursdays anymore bc i wake up at 5:30 for work and im east #coast and it just isnt special anymore and i feel bad because its SUPPOSED to be special

[potential-fate]

Might actually get my computer back on Tuesday. Hopefully.

#its been an ordeal 🙄 and by ordeal i mean i wanted to kill a man for being useless. but w/e. its fine #anyways #theyre replacing my hard drive with an SSD so hopefuly it both works and is even improved. #im like 90% sure the gard drive is the problem so hopefully thats all they need to do :) #second time is the charm #like by that i mean the first place literally did nothing and when i called a third time #they said theyd need another week and a half #and when i asked what theyd done they had literally no notes on what theyd done. #I'm like 99% sure they just fucking left it on a a shelf and forgot about it #so i got irritated and just picked it up and took it to geek squad instead. #who told me “yeah should be able to fix it in three days.” #nonsims #sorta at least. #i mean it is my simming comp and why i CANT sim now so #its like sims adjacent lmao

[crescentfool]

doing things outside of your usual is such a humbling experience...

#lizzy speaks #to those who are curious what prompted this: my friend and i are collaborating on a video essay together #we picked it back up a week and a half ago after it laid in limbo for a month or two #and we're currently in the phase of editing it together (scripting + recording the VO is done) #and MAN. my respect for people who work on scripted/informative content just shot up through the ROOF #most of my experience with editing comes from footage first and then edit down approach (rather than creating/gathering visuals to uplift- #a written script) and it's. well. they engage with very different skillsets i think #my friend who i am collaborating with is very amused at me because this is not her first rodeo. meanwhile me as a first-timer. #i am telling her about how i am losing my mind over my editing timeline having gaps of footage because i couldn't think of anything to put #for certain portions (or i just didnt feel like looking through preexisting footage on the internet and dl-ing it) #and she compared it to 'telling a kid whos going thru puberty that its normal' EKLHFGLHH #im ngl the way i have spent like maybe 10 hours today off and on looking up footage and fact checking the splat artbook is so. explodes #it makes sifting through an 11 hour batch of footage of me playing big run sound like a cakewalk in comparison LMAOO #anyway if you read this far thank you :D i hope that in 2024 i can continue to be humbled in trying new things #and i highly encourage others 2 do so too! try a new method of approaching something or do smthn slightly adjacent to what you do! #tis a good learning experience and also makes u very appreciative of the things that are out there methinks #im literally only editing an 11 minute segment or so idfk how people make those 1+ hr video essays LIKE HELLO??? ESP IF ITS LICENSED MEDIA #HOW DO U GET ALL THE FOOTAGE FOR THAT. U MUST BE REALLY HYPERFIXATED AND DEDICATED TO THAT. DAMN. anyway. have a good 2023 everyone!

[dianadeadwing]

I drew a lot last night to procrastinate about having to work today.

[ID:

A full body sketch in blue of Louise from Bob’s Burgers. She is looking up smiling and holding out her hands. Text beneath her reads, “And money”.

/end ID]

#bob's burgers #my art wip #louise belcher #sketch #I would literally draw all day #if I didn’t set limits for myself #and my first work night of the week #those limits just disappear sometimes #capitalism #im suffering

[angeloftrumpets]

i think about this picture a LOT

EDIT: WARNING I JUST INFODUMP IN THE TAGS IM SORRY ???

#when i used to work at burgerking the parking lot literally looked like that and it would be dark and I NEVER STOPPED THINKING ABOUT THIS #the two weeks i worked at burgerking is hwen i made like. my weird au related to genesis apocryphon #duudeeee #when i first found out about it i lost my mind because i came up with my whole concept of be.ginner bible tapes traumatizing someone to a #point where they have a horrible fear of angels and gab. is like Hm... this is gonna be Really Funny and teaches some 20 year old about the #universe #but ends up being a good thing ? ? #< i havent gotten far to the au i still am processing how they would interact with eachother upon first meeting #i have to say my absolute favorite scene in man.dela is gab and dave like ? ??!!?!? I SAW IT LIVE LIKE WHEN IT WAS PREMERING AND I LOVEEE #VOL 4 ITS SOO GOOOD #i never really talk about this anymore but for a bit of last year i hardcore kinned si/x and like oh my god #dadtruder being CANON made me so happy because i was fighting for my LIFE to other mand/ela fans i know and NONE OF THEM AGREED WITH ME #i rewatched vo/l 4 with like 5 different people the day it came out i am not kidding #my initial getting into the series was really strange #it all started by seeing someone in an avatar of him in vr chat ?? but like a long time before that i saw someone who did this AMAZING #FANART OF HIM and when i staw it i just Stared at it for an Hour. #but there was someone in a del/taru/ne world on v/rchat and i just stared with autistic eyes i wanted to ask for the avi so bad but i was #way to anxious BC IT WAS LIKE. REALLY TALL. OKAY. #i used to run around in a backroo/ms world as si/x and gab it was truly a time #whenever soemone makes a toonie avi in vrchat its OVER I HAVE THE NAME ON THERE im so proud #im so sad i couldnt get it on discord it puts me in anguish when i think about it #but YEA i have been typing for like idk how long and im so sorry for the tag spam if you read through this i hope you have a wonderful day #or night ^ u ^ !!

[anaalnathrakhs]

it's rlly fun how my parents just straight up. do not care. about the disordered eating. we had all this talk back when i went through a big suicidal crisis a couple months ago, i explained what was really difficult for me, eating socially, restaurants, not choosing my food, etc, and now it's like. okay it didn't exist actually.

mother i am not going to order you around, either you accept that i'm gonna have difficulty dealing with "normal people behavior" or whatnot and you stop looking at me like :/ anytime i am anything but ecstatic at the idea of eating anything anytime anyhow, or you adapt your behavior to avoid the results you don't like to see. i'm only doing my best to handle things from my side, and i am certainly not going to try measuring for you how important family social eating occurences are to you.

#''we should talk abt it uwu'' WE TALKED ABOUT IT. STOP COMPLAINING THAT DOING STUFF THAT I CAN'T EASILY HANDLE MAKES ME WEIRD. #EITHER YOU ASSUME IT'S GOING TO MAKE ME WEIRD BECAUSE YOU KNOW EXACTLY HOW AND WHY #OR YOU STOP DOING IT IF IT'S SO UWU HEARTBREAKING UWU FOR YOU TO WATCH #i'm not happy about how guilty i am too of that specific brand of ''oh this is so sad *continues doing nothing*'' form of ''compassion'' #they just want me to perform anorexia recovery for them #so they can feel okay we're doing a good job at raising a normal child #they don't give a shit as long as the compusive eating is my mom's meal at the dinner table #just like they didnt care when i had roughly the same problems but not as bad before i had a restrictive phase #i cannot compromise because then WHAT im just hurting my parents for a situation that doesnt make me any happier either? #i do not want to live with them. i do not want to go place or do activities with them. #i dont want to talk to them most of the time and im perfectly willing to handle the times it could be cool to. #but it's really hard to start developping a life of your own when you first of all need like two weeks of total life-reset #quiet at home #and ''at home'' there's your parents who will simply not stop trying to pull you into going random bullshit places #and i can't say no. because the places ARE interesting and time-limited. and it makes them happy. and what am i gonna do anyway? #keep doing nothing on the computer and wait for them to come back to keep doing only the shittiest parts of this unsatisfactory routine? #try to do some work in the house or go out. for them to see that something happened? #i dont know how to live like a normal person #literally not once in my life have i been able to think ''oh i need to do X'' and then just. do X. prepare what's necessary for doing X. #go out and do X. i have to keep stuck at this computer or in this room or with this book. #because there is a million different obstacles to every single thing i'm trying to achieve and half of them are parents-shaped. #everything hurts holy shit #broadcasting my misery #vent #ed tw

[danielnelsen]

always fun to remind myself of the side effects of my thyroid meds

#the first time i treated my thyroid my endo was like ‘i havent had a patient who had this happen for a while so im due for one’ THANKS MAN #personal #im just waiting for it to hurry up and work. my health has PLUMMETED in the last week or so #im so sick and i can’t DO ANYTHING. including SLEEP. even if i was getting enough good sleep i was be exhausted but i’m not so. #the energy’s doing Great #and i’m so hungry all the time but also nauseous so all food is unappealing #genuinely have no idea how i made it through years 7-10 undiagnosed. no wonder i ended up with such a severe phobia of going to bed???????? #i don’t have to worry about routine right now so it’s not as stressful (just horrible because i’m so tired) but i COULDNT SLEEP back then #im just relieved that this time it was found through a routine check rather than me getting a test because of symptoms #usually i test when my anxiety gets really bad in a specific way #but my anxiety isn’t bad this time. no panic attacks and also no migraines. those are all usually the worst to deal with #so comparatively this isn’t even a particularly bad episode?/relapse?/flare? #still more sick than i’ve been in……..years? #im not sure if covid was better or worse. but it was only really bad for a week #this’ll be worse overall because it’ll last a lot longer #hopefully only a month or two but that’s still a few months of my life that just vanish. cool!!!!!!!!!!! #and there wasn’t even a notable event to trigger it this time. first time was whooping cough and subsequent times have been things like— #starting uni and then the last 2 years of uni where i took 10 units in one year then overworked myself doing my thesis #im SLIGHTLY worried that maybe i’ve developed rheumatoid arthritis and that set it off because it’s also autoimmune #i should see my gp soon to get a general antibody test. my joint have been so bad it’s been hard to walk for quite a few months #idk man it all sucks. but for now at least i have my white blood cells (even if they’re literally the problem lmao)

[toxooz]

also GOOD NEWS turns out the One Week Until Eviction scare was just a false alarm and surprise surprise ✨lack of communication ✨ where as i texted her back for clarification but she said everything is fine and i aint being evicted bc she lied to the higher ups??so fuck it we ball ig its good to know she rlly does have my back to some strange extent so im still girlbossin here for another year and will have more time to build credit and look into the science of buying a house sksks

ALLL THAT BEING SAID i will start the next comic section later this week 4 SURE

#not complaining in the slightest but she very much couldve texted me again within those 4 days to say just kidding BECAUSE UHHH #''ur good honey i just lied to them☺'' me 5 suicidal meltdowns and 10 applications to any available housing later:😬oh ok great!!!! #like woman i was fully ready to accept that theres not a bitch on earth who will show me mercy to any extent and that the world is a cold #unrelenting hell to survive in for the past 4 DAYSSSS which i mean is right but ig its not completely that??? #like a ''oh nevermind sorry false alarm'' text literally anytime after wouldve work just dandy sksksks plz #like i was rlly out here thinknig she deliberately basically sentenced me to inevitable homelessness for all she knows out of nowhere LIKE #i think im above the genetic Crazy Bitch Disease #but then i catch myself calculating the most inconvenient place in my apartment for my body to decompose in '''''for revenge'''''' #if i couldnt move out in time like what in gods name is this radioactive elephants foot of a brain #plus idk how solid her excuse of not having good internet reason is to keep me here for another year so either way #after this im finding somewhere more solid to live bc i cant deal with this type of thing AGAIN lmfao #like bro u cant just make me think the happiness and peace that ive felt for the first time in my life is going to be reversed bc i have to #move back into that godforsaken house with that pos bc i Literally had no time to find another place and the amount of time that takes #BUT oh well its all good and she's still cool for a land lord so im good im good #the past almost week been crazy as hell

[kasper-k]

I hate silkie chickens so much these birds are genuinely giving me fucking stress nightmares

#yes that is a TEMPORARY enclosure. because they had FUCKING LICE. #which i had to buy treatments for. and no one is paying me back. i had to buy these damn birds in the first place #to replace the neighbors ones that got killed by our dogs WHICH WASNT MY FAULT. AND ITS BEEN MY RESPONSIBILITY #FOR THREE. FUCKING. WEEKS. #and one of them has an infection that wont fucking go away and i have antibiotics that just arent fucking working #im incredibly stressed about it and its eating up literally all of my free time. i just want to relax for one fucking weekend

[widevibratobitch]

aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.

#time to slightly overdose my depression meds again ig lol #anyway. it is a little better with me these last two weeks. turns out the meds do work when you actually take em regularly #but first my best friend's break up that she's blowing up to unimaginable size #acting as if she just got divorced with the love of her life after 20 years #and not ended a few months long relationship with a guy who's been the source of most of her troubles since the moment they started dating #(ofc she's valid and id never tell her that because like. i get it. some people feel stuff more deeply. but its hard to be supportive #when you genuinely feel like this is the best possible outcome for her and that the relationship was only dragging her down all this time) #and now this. and this is gonna be infinitely worse. and then it's gonna get a million times worse when he actually does die. #and i feel like the worst most selfish person ever which like. probably am. but i did tell my cousin who actually knows my mom really well #and she said she understands and that my fears ARE valid because SHE'S terrified of how she's gonna handle my mom #and she wouldn't wanna be me in that situation cause it's gonna be so much worse for me lmao #like i feel like people who know my mother casually really dont understand just how unhinged emotionally she is #anyway. i feel so overwhelmed. i cant handle this jesus. #but im also emotionally unavailable and refuse to actually confide in another person because i dont want to be a bother <3333 #god i love tumblr. i can literally type anything in those tags lol it's the perfect form of venting since you can just scroll by #but i will still have let it out of myself anyway uwu i literally dont need that therapy fr #anyway. i feel so unbelievably fucking lonely and on one hand it's my own fault for withdrawing and refusing to ask for help. #but on the other hand. i AM alone. like there's no one who can help me in this particular situation. #i have no siblings. obviously my dad isnt gonna help. it all falls down to me. good god. i wanna throw up.