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#my favourite bits of all of them so far
sysig · 11 days
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It started with a whisper ♥ (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#Crackship#Xigbar#Of all the crackships that I didn't expect I probably wouldn't have expected these two the most lol#I super wasn't expecting to feel So strongly about them this is like multi-tier Big Feelings in varying directions#One - ZEX - obvious (lol) | Two - Xigbar (hehe II hehehe) - I think I mentioned it like maaaybe once over here but I was Huge into KH#Specifically Org XIII specifically-specifically 358/2 it is the only game in the Kingdom Hearts line that I've beaten and probably ever will#Oh no wait that's not true I did play through all of the DS release of Re:Coded but like......does that count lol I think no#I played the intro of Kingdom Hearts II and shut it off after the bit with Roxas and Sora like - the egg scene how do I non-spoilers this#I own it and I will never beat it I am too sad I want only my Nobodies lol <3#Kingdom Hearts had a big influence on me - that and Magic Knight Rayearth are a big explanation as to Why I'm Like This lol#Cough cough casting away the dark parts of your heart only for it to come back and bite you later and also The Gay™ lol#But AnyWay lol - Xigbar!#He wasn't my favourite-favourite - aside from Main Characters that'd probably go to Marluxia - but I still hold him very fondly!!#Definitely doodled him a good bit he's very handsome ♪#And just - ah ♥ An old fave and a new(er) fave interacting and making each other happy and feel nice and play well I just fsalkfdf#As well as that being Max's body! There's something heightening about all these different aspects that was just overwhelming to me haha <3#If it's not already obvious - yes this was the happy cries lol this is the only explanation I have haha#I feel very strongly about Them and Interactions and Feeling Nice and fjdslafsdf#Anyway! This isn't Just them! Just a lot haha ♪#I have started a playlist lol - so far it's just this song - Everybody Talks - but some of the others from SCII playlist fit well too :)#The rest is just ZEX being cute hehe <3 ZEX not understanding what crying is is very interesting to me :3c No VUX equivalent?#Seems like they don't have the same kinds of chemicals like adrenaline et al so I guess a flushing system isn't as necessary! Interesting :D#ZEX fumbliness leading to him being a bit on the back foot is so cute hehe <3 He wants so loudly and openly but actually accomplishing it-#I also really like how he holds himself - all the tension through him to fight against new muscles and bone everything too alien!#I imagine his hands as being very rigid and all the fingers pulled together straight but that could just be how he describes bones hehe#Alien in there <3 Plenty to read into :3c
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beemintty · 4 months
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inktober day 5: map
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getoutofmytardis · 5 months
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ed and stede staying with izzy and buttons coming to visit 😭
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ready for some touchy (not spicy) fluff with Thena and Gilgamesh in a bathtub?
"This is nice."
It was nice. It was really nice--particularly, nice and warm.
Thena was practically purring as she rested against Gil's chest, curled up on him in the heated bath provided for them by Olga. Thena was officially the regent's war advisor, after all, and with that title came certain perks. Certainly Eternals weren't prone to taking bribes, but Thena was not about to say no to a nice hot bath.
She still had not quite adapted to the frigid temperatures of Kievan-Rus.
Gil danced his fingers along her arm as he held her. He was not quite sitting, not quite lying down, Thena on her side, not quite in his lap, not quite lying on top of him. "How do you feel?"
"Good," Thena sighed, letting the soft sound rise up to the ceiling with the steam of the hot water.
"Are you sleeping better?"
"A little." She was sleeping in her own room more, certainly. Although she still ended up in his room - in his bed - more nights than not. It was the damned cold. "I wonder if I'll ever get used to this place."
"You will," Gil promised, pressing a kiss to her temple as he did. Some might have called it an empty promise, but he had full faith in his Goddess of War to adapt and overcome. "In the meantime, we have the baths here. I'll make hot soup for you for every meal and you can crawl into bed with me as often as you like."
Thena let out a low, roiling laugh that vibrated through Gil's bones. "You spoil me."
"Mm," he pursed his lips, moving from tapping along her arm to swirling her hair around in the water, "I think of it as taking care of you."
"I need caring for, now do I?"
"Everyone needs caring for, Sweetheart," he sighed as one of her hands emerged from the water to lightly massage his shoulder. "And even if you didn't."
Thena smiled to herself as Gil shifted them, reclining even more with her and wrapping his arms around her waist.
"I'd do it anyway," he resolved with a kiss to the top of her head. He let out a groan as he stretched out his legs, although Thena curled up even more against him in contrast.
"And what am I to do for your care?" she asked back with a playful tone lightening her cadence.
Gil rubbed her back. "This is pretty good for me, I think."
Thena pulled her head--going to the trouble of it just to look at him. Her eyes were hazy and soft, with no trace of the deadly sharpness her Cosmic Energy demanded. "Is this truly sufficient for you?"
Gil smiled at her. Thena often fretted about what she could offer him in terms of this relationship of theirs. She might argue that he was always doing things for her, large and small, consciously and without a thought to it at all.
But Gil argued that they simply spoke different languages.
True, he lived to care for Thena: her protection, her well being, her happiness--top priority for him. And for him, he best expressed that with the things he could do for her. It was knowing her as well as he did, making foods that she liked, holding her when she was cold, sticking close to her when she was ill at ease. It came naturally to him, doing all these little things.
Thena's language was quiet, but just as expressive.
Thena had her own ways of loving, from her watchful protection, to her silent support that could speak far louder than anyone or anything. She did little things for him, from reorganising his precious spices to making sure his meals were always attended and appreciated. But more than that, Thena's words came in the form of her hand in his, her hand on his shoulder or holding a shield between him and an enemy. Her love was her company, allowing herself to be close with him in a way she would never with another soul.
Different methods--different languages, but they were fluent in each other completely. It was an understanding that could only come with being as close as they were, for as long as they had. Gil liked to think that their souls were like two flower buds, borne from the same stem. And when Thena bloomed, so did he.
"Gil."
He laughed as she pinched the plumpness over his hip in a way that really only tickled.
"You're thinking too loud," she whispered, settling her head under his chin again.
"Sorry, Solnyshkuh."
Thena peeked up at him again, intrigue and possibly some adoration plain to see on her face. "Picking up their endearments already?"
Gil gazed upon her freely, running his hand over the back of her head, trailing over her hair from where it was dry to where it dipped into the water. "I've heard people calling their loved ones that. It refers to the sun--my sunshine, I think."
"So sentimental."
It almost sounded like an admonishment. But her arms wrapped around him until she was giving him a hug only the water could witness.
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lit-in-thy-heart · 8 months
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Choose your fighter: being able to feel confident in writing a scene with more than two characters, not worrying about sentence structure, or writing effortless descriptions.
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n3ongold3n · 10 months
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Spent half the day weeding on the alottment 💪🏽
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faeparrish · 2 years
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i always feel like i’m still mentally 16-18 but then i’ll see teenagers interacting with each other and it’s suddenly clear that I’ve grown a lot since then
#me and my gf went to see mitski last night (it was an insane performance) and it felt like we were the oldest people in the crowd lmao#there was a group of girls and most of them were 15-17 but one of them was 18 and she kept talking about how she’s an adult#but she and the rest of them were screaming crying and yelling like teenagers the whole concert#which is like yeah that’s what teenagers do lmao go scream and be a little bit annoying at your favourite artists show#it was just funny to witness because i’m not around teenagers anymore like all my siblings are in their 20s now#i forgot how far away i actually am from that now and i’m so glad of it#mitski is one of my favourite artists ever and we had to plan around everything to get to that concert#and when she was performing these girls were losing their minds and me and my gf were just 👩🏻‍❤️‍👩🏻 and :-)#not that we don’t like her any less i think if i was a teenager again i would also be outwardly losing my mind too#but at this point i’m like this is a really intelligent performer who is also just a regular person and i really enjoy her art#idk it’s just a funny observation literally no shade to teenagers losing their minds at concerts bc we’ve all been there#i just remembered that i’m not that age anymore! i’ve gone from idolising her as a teen to really just appreciating her art as an adult#anyway! it was a very good concert and i am still in shock that i finally managed to get to see her perform
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♾👀
겁 없이 밤길을 거니는 나그네여 내 말 좀 들어보오 나뭇잎 동동 띄운 물 한 잔 마시며 잠시 쉬어 가오
Dear fearless traveler strolling by night / Listen to my words please / While drinking a cup of water brewing with floating leaves / Take a break tr inspiration credit. + own take
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grasshoppergeography · 4 months
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Hey All,
I've been away for some time, as we've been working really hard on something quite exciting:
let me present to you the world's first ever global ocean drainage basin map that shows all permanent and temporary water flows on the planet.
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This is quite big news, as far as I know this has never been done before. There are hundreds of hours of work in it (with the data + manual work as well) and it's quite a relief that they are all finished now.
But what is an ocean drainage basin map, I hear most of you asking? A couple of years ago I tried to find a map that shows which ocean does each of the world's rivers end up in. I was a bit surprised to see there is no map like that, so I just decided I'll make it myself - as usual :) Well, after realizing all the technical difficulties, I wasn't so surprised any more that it didn't exist. So yeah, it was quite a challenge but I am very happy with the result.
In addition to the global map I've created a set of 43 maps for different countries, states and continents, four versions for each: maps with white and black background, and a version for both with coloured oceans (aka polygons). Here's the global map with polygons:
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I know from experience that maps can be great conversation starters, and I aim to make maps that are visually striking and can effectively deliver a message. With these ocean drainage basin maps the most important part was to make them easily understandable, so after you have seen one, the others all become effortless to interpret as well. Let me know how I did, I really appreciate any and all kinds of feedback.
Here are a few more from the set, I hope you too learn something new from them. I certainly did, and I am a geographer.
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The greatest surprise with Europe is that its biggest river is all grey, as the Volga flows into the Caspian sea, therefore its basin counts as endorheic.
An endorheic basin is one which never reaches the ocean, mostly because it dries out in desert areas or ends up in lakes with no outflow. The biggest endorheic basin is the Caspian’s, but the area of the Great Basin in the US is also a good example of endorheic basins.
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I love how the green of the Atlantic Ocean tangles together in the middle.
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No, the dividing line is not at Cape Town, unfortunately.
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I know these two colours weren’t the best choice for colourblind people and I sincerely apologize for that. I’ve been planning to make colourblind-friendly versions of my maps for ages now – still not sure when I get there, but I want you to know that it’s just moved up on my todo-list. A lot further up.
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Minnesota is quite crazy with all that blue, right? Some other US states that are equally mind-blowing: North Dakota, New Mexico, Colorado, Wyoming. You can check them all out here.
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Yes, most of the Peruvian waters drain into the Atlantic Ocean. Here are the maps of Peru, if you want to take a closer look.
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Asia is amazingly colourful with lots of endorheic basins in the middle areas: deserts, the Himalayas and the Caspian sea are to blame. Also note how the Indonesian islands of Java and Sumatra are divided.
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I mentioned earlier that I also made white versions of all maps. Here’s Australia with its vast deserts. If you're wondering about the weird lines in the middle: that’s the Simpson desert with its famous parallel sand dunes.
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North America with white background and colourful oceans looks pretty neat, I think.
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Finally, I made the drainage basin maps of the individual oceans: The Atlantic, the Arctic, the Indian and the Pacific. The Arctic is my favourite one.
I really hope you like my new maps, and that they will become as popular as my river basin maps. Those have already helped dozens of environmental NGOs to illustrate their important messages all around the world. It would be nice if these maps too could find their purpose.
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hussyknee · 1 year
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i'm so confused rn, can you explain the goncharov thing?? i get off tumblr for five minutes
(Edits closed as of 28 Nov.)
Lmaoooo
Nah I getchu. So this post has been circulating for like two years:
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Link to post.
But yesterday, it had inspired someone to do this:
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Link to post.
Next thing I knew there were fake Letterboxed reviews.
Goncharov moodboards. Really good ones.
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Link to post.
Meta analysis. So many fake meta essays. Disturbingly good ones. And of course the memes. (Edit: HAVE I SAID THIS SHIT IS DISTURBING)
As you can see, the myth just started to grow, characters and ships and tropes being added one after the other, almost bizzarely without contradiction, until there was enough of shape to the whole thing for people to start posting fanfic about it on AO3. "No beta we die like ice-pick Joe" is already a tag.
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Link to post.
It was hilarious in the beginning, but the way it's developed within less than a day, kind of like it's being willed into existence, is freaking me out a bit. We're toying with powers beyond our comprehension. 😂😂😂
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Link to post.
Of course, there could be an ulterior motive as well.
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Link to post (tags mine).
Edit: guys, please tag these posts "unreality" so people with disassociation issues can filter them out (not this one, this is an explainer). <3
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Edit 2: Aparently the boots in the original post are actually referring to a movie called Gomorrah that came out in 2008, directed by Mateo Garrone, based on the Scampia Feud. And other people had also been making posts about the fake movie for a while before the poster took off.
found by @thepotch
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Edit 3: Explainer: why did those boots have this movie on them anyway?
Edit 4: Alt text added to all images courtesy of @valentineish ❤️
Edit 5: Turns out tumblr has done this kind of thing before. Nine years in this hell place and I had to have "Squiddles" and penis smp explained in the replies.
Edit 6: This post collects the Lore so far.
Edit 7: Lynda Carter (real one)/ earns more/ Tumblr cred.
Edit 8: Holy shit y'all we have the theme music. With sheet music. And it's on Spotify!
Edit 9: THERE IS A TRAILER WITH THE THEME MUSIC
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I made this post 18 hours after the movie poster went up. Closed edits 27 hours after first posting. So all of the above happened within 45 hours of the movie poster going up.
Edit 10: Google document live-compiling all the lore so far (Day 3)
Edit 11: Masterpost of Goncharov soundtracks (Day 3)
Edit 12: Entertainment news articles covering the Gonch-posting (real) (Contd from yday)
Edit 13: The music from the masterpost all compiled into a 31-minute original score with video edits on YouTube (edit: unfortunately taken down)
Edit 14: Staff's Goncharov art showcase for Tumblr Tuesday
As of closing on Day 3 there are 371 works in the AO3 tag.
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Updating with Day 3 shenanigans I missed yesterday:
Edit 15: Goncharov TV Tropes page
Edit 16: Ethics of Gonchposting
Important PSA 1 (how to reduce harm to Tumblr's neurodivergents)
Important PSA 2 (reality affirmation, anti-bullying)
Important PSA 3 (why you should stop trying to vandalise legit information sites)
Edit 17: Character lore from beezlebub whose poster they originated from
Edit 18: What we know about/ Director Matteo JWHJ0715 (#unreality)
Edit 19: Link to post with screenshotted and described NYT article (scroll down) and this golden exerpt from BuzzFeed: 💀
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(alt text included)
End of Day 4 there are now 485 works in the Goncharov tag on AO3
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Didn't get to update this on Day 5, so these are the Day 5 doings:
More trailers!
Trailer 1 (My favourite)
Trailer 2
Trailer 3
Trailer 4
I also just found out about the Goncharov Game Jam.
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It appears this opened a day after after the meme took off.
Goncharov was first entered into Wikipedia between Day 4 and 5 (attempts to vandalise it with fake info don't count, incidentally – please knock that shit off) under List of Internet Phenomena. This was then expanded into its own Wikipedia page at the end of Day 5 because, according to the talk history: "the topic now meets the notability threshold for its own artice due to significant coverage in The New York Times and other sources cited." We're on Wikipedia, people!
And then we made The Guardian half a day later. So while the meme is definitely dying down to embers by now, it still stays winning.
YouTube channels with episodes on the meme:
InformOverlord (4:30)
Lessons in Meme Culture (2:43)
End of Day of 5 there were 511 works on AO3, and End of Day 6 (today) there are 556.
--
🚨BREAKING 🚨 from Martin Scorsese's daughter's TikTok (real actual)
tw: unreality:
We did it you guys!
Clarification: Francesca Scorcese asked her Dad about the meme and Martin played along. Please reblog this PSA to help Tumblr people with psychosis. Thanks.
Final edit: Day 8. Media reactions to Scorcese's TikTok (everyone from Forbes to Vulture). That one Tumblr user who said they'd do a screenplay if their post got notes has promised to shoot a single scene, but please don't be dicks just because you reblogged it; leave them alone until they get around to it themselves. As of end of Day 8 there are 609 works in the AO3 tag. I love all you lunatics. Peace! ❤️
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imperihoe-writes · 7 months
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2:25 AM
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Simon 'Ghost' Riley / Reader
Summary:  Simon returns home a little earlier than expected, and all he wants is a good night's sleep and the warm body of a person he loves.
Content:  coming-home-from-deployment, curvy! civilian girlfriend, domestic fluff, shared shower, jetlag, unprotected sex, lazy middle-of-the-night sex, fingering, hickeys, missionary, cum eating, oral
Word Count:  2.3k
Notes: Did I type this in one go (frenzied, horny and slightly tipsy), but still need to get up at 5:20 AM for work tomorrow? Yes. Was this stuck in my brain and demanded to be let out? Double yes. NOT FOR MINORS.
The key scraping against the door had her turning around in alarm, spatula clutched in her right hand as the other fumbled for something sharper, pointier.
Simon wasn't supposed to be home for another two weeks, and all she had on her was a fluffy towel and sheet mask - not exactly the proper attire to face a burglar. But Ghost, the Lieutenant not her boyfriend, had taught her how to defend herself. How to make an opponent bleed enough for them to back off or die as the consequence of assaulting her. 
Call me, if you ever have to kill someone, he'd said and stroked her cheek. I'll take care of the mess.
She'd laughed then, and teased him about being too far away to fix anything but now that the adrenaline was pumping through her veins, she started receiting his work number by heart over and over again.
Then the logical part of her brain kicked in, and wondered why on Earth a burglar or serial killer would bother with picking a lock in the first place. Wouldn't they just come smashing through the window-
The door swung open silently, a large gloved hand groped for the light switch in the entrance way and then suddenly he was there, bathed in the soft light of the lamp they'd bought together when they first moved into their shared flat.
Simon still wore a dark mask that covered his mouth and nose, and she stared, flabbergasted, as he methodically removed his gloves and black beanie, dumping his heavy backpack next to the umbrella stand.
"Si?" She whispered, and he flinched, chocolate brown eyes swivelling up to hers as he made an aborted motion, like he was reaching for a holster that wasn't there.
"Focken hell, luv," he slurred, words distorted from lack of sleep. The dark purple rings under his eyes spoke of the long journey he'd taken, and she'd lost track of where in the world he was fighting against evil at this point. "Ye look like a damn axe murderer with that."
He gestured vaguely towards her face, and with a laugh that turned into a sob halfway, she dropped everything she'd been holding, ripped off the overpriced skincare and flung herself into his arms. Simon swayed a bit, and he still smelled of desert dust and faraway places but she didn't care. Nothing else mattered in that moment but him, the feel of his strong arms around her as he lifted her up like she weighed nothing, and pressed his warm cheek against hers.
She quickly pulled his face mask down, and Simon sighed as she kissed him, smiling as she peppered kisses all over his face.
"You didn't tell me you'd be back so early!" She complained, pulling him back into a bone-crushing hug. "I haven't been shopping for all your favourite treats yet!"
"'S fine," he mumbled, then buried his face into her shoulder, sagging a little as he put her back down. "Jus' wanted to be home with you."
Tears threatened to constrict her throat, and she swallowed against it, massaging the back of his head and short curly hair the way he liked.
"Let's get you cleaned up and ready for bed, hm?" Her voice was only a whisper, but Simon nodded and let her guide him down the short corridor and into the darkness of the bathroom. They left the door open, allowing the light to pour in that way and she helped him strip out of the black joggers and long sleeve he'd been wearing, crouching down to untie his shoelaces. 
Under normal circumstances, the heated look he was giving her from above would have been enough for her to stay on her knees for him, but she knew that Simon was running on fumes. As flattering as the bulge in his tight briefs was, it was more of a reaction to be reunited after so long, than actual desire.
She pulled the soft cotton down his muscular thighs, grinning at the relieved hiss he let out when he was completely bare. Pushing him into the shower was easy, and when she stripped off her towel, it was only so she could join him and wash his skin thoroughly. 
Simon's hands wandered over her hips and breasts, and he pulled her in for a deep kiss but let her do whatever she pleased after that. She massaged his shoulders and back with soapy hands, ran her hands down his solid but thick abdomen, and even gripped his half-hard cock for a moment. 
He groaned and leaned his head against her shoulder, but then she moved her hands up and over into his hair and neck and Simon practically purred.
Blissed out and half asleep, he barely registered her removing the shower head from its mount and running it all over him, washing the suds down the drain and warming his chilled skin.
"Gonna put on your bathrobe for me, babe?" She asked softly, and Simon grunted as she turned off the water. They fumbled out of the shower and struggled a bit until he was wrapped up in black fluffy cotton. Storm trooper, she'd called him many times before whenever he wore this particular monstrosity. 
He let her lead him into their shared bedroom, thankfully tidy and clean, and belly-flopped onto the soft mattress. Simon was out within moments, breathing in the scent of fresh linen and her, mind at ease for the first time in forever.
With a smile, she quickly fetched a glass of water for them both, brushed her teeth and then marvelled at the sight of her boyfriend sprawled out on the bed.
Simon was early by almost two weeks, and her heart made a double-flip as she thought of the fact that it was the weekend now and she'd have two uninterrupted days with him before she had to go back to work. 
Her eyes wandered over the exposed calves and feet, the long fingers that clutched into her comforter, the translucent brows and lashes.
She changed into her pyjama bottoms and top, snuggling up next to the mountain of black robes and pale skin. Simon's deep breathing never changed as she wrapped one arm and leg around him, burying her face into his damp neck as she fell asleep, completely forgetting about her plan to stay awake all night to prepare for her night shifts.
The next time she awoke, it was still dark outside. Disoriented, she tried to place the warmth on top of her, the mouth that sucked into her skin with enough pressure to leave light pink bruises and made her pussy wet from the suction alone. Broad hands and long fingers were gripping her waist, and Simon's thigh was gently pressed between her legs, rubbing up and down.
She moaned and groped for him in the darkness as he sucked at her skin harder, moving on to her collarbones and breasts, then nipples as he went. He was still wearing the bathrobe, but it was sliding off his shoulders, revealing scarred skin and rippling muscles to her greedy fingers as she roamed over him.
"Si?" She panted and he hummed, fingers pulling her top down until both of her boobs were framed by the fabric, exposed to his hungry mouth. 
"I could eat you alive," he mumbled against her skin, then his calloused fingertips ran lower, exposing her stomach as he kneaded the soft skin there and slipped beyond, into her loose shorts.
The breath was knocked out of her as sure fingers rubbed over her embarrassingly slick folds, pushed deeper, and then withdrew only to circle her clit lazily. 
"You- you should rest," she stammered but pushed her chest against his mouth and clenched around nothing when he dipped two of his fingers into her and pulled out in the same motion.
"Can't sleep right now," he growled, then plunged his fingers back in, stretching her needy core a bit more. "D'you want me to stop, sweetheart?"
She'd rather die.
"N-no."
"Good," he growled, then captured her mouth in a sloppy kiss that involved a lot of tongues and hitched breaths as his fingers worked away at her. A third soon joined the others, and she whimpered, throwing her head back as he diligently prepared her for his cock. Her hips jerked whenever the ball of his hand brushed against her clit, and her fingers drew painful welts against Simon's shoulders and back, finally disrobing him fully and pulling him on top of her.
"Please Si," she whined, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling him closer until her wet core was pressed against the hardness between his thighs. "Waited so long for you to come home."
He groaned and steadied himself with one arm next to her head, gripping his heavy cock with one hand and brushing the weeping head over her clit and opening several times. The darkness made it hard to see him, but the feel and taste of his skin were enough that night. 
She knew that Simon's eyes were a dark pool of molten chocolate right now, that his forehead would be creased in concentration. 
At the first breach, she clutched the soft sheets underneath her, pushing her hips into him, impatient. They both hissed, her from the slight discomfort of his girth and him from her tightness, but then she hooked her ankles behind his lower back and pulled him in.
Simon came to rest inside of her with a groan, sleep-warm skin pressed against her cheek as he started to move slowly, savouring it.
There was no rush, only the underlying currents of sleep and weariness that were soaked deep into both their bones as they moved against each other. Skin against skin, the slight sheen of sweat on his back, the trembling of her core and thighs whenever he hit a little too deeply from this angle.
Simon caged her face with his arms, hands in her hair as they kissed.
"I love you," he murmured, over and over again as her eyes rolled back into her head, mouth open as he buried himself inside her. "Missed you so much."
"Missed you, too," she panted, clutching onto him, chest constricting as his hips rutted harshly and strong hands lifted her hips and ass onto him.
Neither of them reached between their bodies to stimulate her clit any more, because they both knew that it would be the end of it. As soon as Simon felt her contract around him, he usually followed and they both weren't ready, needed more from this. Craved that prolonged connection.
His orgasm wasn't a grand spectacle of growls and lovebites like it sometimes was. Instead, Simon huffed into her neck as his movements stuttered, and she felt his lashes flutter against her sweaty skin.
There was a sticky warmth that filled her, overflowed as he kept moving a little while longer.
She'd been happy like that, content not to come in all honesty, because the fact that her lover was back in her arms was more climactic than anything her body could produce.
But Simon had always been a greedy man, eager to please and obsessed with making her soul sing out to him through pleasure. 
He withdrew, and they both hissed. Then a warm, wet mouth left a trail down her body, latching onto her thighs. Teeth and tongue worked into her soft skin, sucking harshly and then massaging the sore spot with thick fingers before moving higher and lapping at her slit that was slowly oozing his own release.
"Oh my fucking god," she moaned, clutching at his soft hair as her hips jerked into his face and suddenly he was on her, gripping her hips roughly and eating her pussy out like it was his last meal.
His tongue lapped at her clit, then her sensitive, still stretched-out entrance. Simon slid one finger into her, curled it just right and pumped it in and out rapidly, tongue fluttering.
He rumbled something between her thighs, but if it had been praise or a command, she didn't know and didn't care. Back arching, she clutched her sensitive breasts and pinched her nipples as he sucked and sucked. Stars exploded behind her closed eyelids, and if their neighbours didn't know that Simon had returned by now, they probably knew now.
Unable to hold in the high-pitched whine, she shuddered against his slick face over and over again, trying to get away from the immediate overstimulation as her orgasm crashed through her and eager for more.
Simon continued to suckle and lap at her clit for a while, the sounds obscene and so damn satisfying that she was glad for the darkness that obscured her crimson blush.
"Missed the sounds you make," he growled softly, voice faraway and sleepy as he slotted his entire weight and body against hers, crushing her into the mattress. "Missed your sweet taste."
"Simon!" She complained, embarrassed as she hid into his neck and he dragged his soft cock between their messy bodies for a few seconds, obviously just enjoying the moment.
"Sleep now, love," he sighed, flopping onto his side and pulling her head onto the thick pillow of his bicep, naked body intertwined with hers. "I'll keep watch over you."
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I have no words. Just wanted soft, jetlagged and horny Ghost. That's all.
You can find my other COD works here! 🤍
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sysig · 1 year
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Me, looking at Charm: Mm, she’s not deranged enough Me, looking at [Purple Text]: Mm, they’re not deranged enough!
Ft. an old idea (Patreon)
#Doodles#It's been too long since the last sona and I had an Idea#Actually pulling from a lot of my favourite angel interpretations!#DQIX's Celestrians and Fantasia's Cherubs#And my own AGE angels <3#Still need to decide on a Center but I have decided the Concept so that's a start!#The caption may seem a bit funny since Clearly That is An Angel - I've only been talking about angels so far! Obviously!#Well ♪#I was also thinking about Fallen Angels which both AGE and DQIX have! In a few different ways each in fact :D#Fallen Angels can be as deranged as I want lol#Maybe justification of why they look kinda normal too? Pulling from DQIX on that one - Fallen Celestrians appear almost human#I guess Corvus' second form would be his Demonic form? Not quite to that level here - yet - but the possibility remains!#A good base for a Biblical Form as well - or my headcanon for ''baby'' Angels! Both AGE and DQIX got effectively the same idea lol#(Their baby form would just be a pink ball of light/halo btw lol)#As for the Cherubs it's more of a utility thing - normally I wouldn't be cool with any of my sonas being naked but there's literally nothing#Utterly sexless and genderless - just how I like it lol#That said the clothing really does pull it all together - I was specifically thinking of an old Flash dressup game I played ages ago#I'll have to see if I can find some screenshots sometime#Also another reason to not make them a Biblically Accurate is 'cause [Purple Text] kinda already has that covered lol#I've still never shown off their eyes but I promise you they do not have two haha#I do want to work on this design more so maybe as I get further away from the base I'll be happier anyhow lol
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bodhrancomedy · 3 months
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Guess who's on TV!
(Well, iPlayer until the 15th, that's when it airs on BBC One)
Hope Street episode 3.11, let's go!
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First of all, I'd say they did me dirty with this picture, but my university ID was exponentially worse.
Onto the spoilers!
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Our boy Matthew has arrived in Port Devine, looking a little concerned.
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For good reason when he's suddenly confronted by this lad, Dara.
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Ah, a fight which Matthew escapes by slipping out of his coat. (Pretty sure this is the take where we ripped it practically in two...)
Dara's questioned, he claims he's never met Matthew in his life. Hmm.
Police do some investigating (and some character stuff) before Dara makes his way to Matthew's mother (Louise)'s house to have a wee showdown.
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They both in a gang and Matthew's stolen a gun. Dara needs to get it back...
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Matthew's nay having it. "This is my way out. If they want the gun back, they have to let me go."
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Another fight. The gun goes off! (Poor Pete and I were convinced after take one to put some padding on. My arm looks bulky because I'm strapped up with squishy stuff and allergic to plasters so it has to be in a sock)
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Thank fuck no one was hurt. Dara gets the hell out of dodge -
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Leaving Matthew to contemplate his mortality. And other people's, but mostly his own.
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"Oh fuck, my bosses are gonna find me and murder me, oh shit. I'm far too young and pretty to die!"
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Time for Matthew and Louise to follow Dara's example and get the fuck out of here.
The police are now on the Halbridges' trail, but they discover the phone tracking them and leave it in a field.
Meanwhile, Dara's been arrested for drug dealing. He refuses to talk, clearly nervous.
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Ah, what's this on Dara's phone? So Matthew and Dara have been in a relationship for over a year now.
(The poor intimacy coordinator having to walk me through my just about second kiss in my entire life. And the third. And the fourth. And the fifth... Pete is a very sweet person. Made it all funny.) ("Relax your hand, Bodh. Just relax it. Open - open your fingers, just let me position your hand.")
They're both working for the same gang. Matthew was given the gun to hold onto by their bosses' and freaked out, running away with the weapon. His plan was to trade his freedom for the gun, but Dara was sent to get it back for the Brazier Brothers, notorious drug runners and gang leaders.
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These guys.
Unfortunately, now Dara's had to tell the Brazier Brothers that Matthew is refusing. They're going to kill Matthew and then Dara. Oh no.
But Dara has an idea where they might be hiding.
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At the caravan there's a standoff between the police and Halbridges. But when the Braizer Brothers are arrested, they're convinced to come out.
(Side note, my favourite picture of me, ever.)
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Oh no, the Halbridges are going to jail and Matthew's regretting his life choices.
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Matthew walked off to his new life inside a jail cell.
The end.
(This is where Niall Wright accidently sublexed my shoulder. To be fair to the man, I'd never mentioned it and he took his finger sliding in-between bone like a champ)
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Look, it's me!! I was on TV! Bit sad they cut pretty much all the uses of SSE (weren't allowed BSL because we still had to speak the lines), but I got to be queer and Deaf so that's pretty nice.
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daddyricsdoll · 1 month
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Vanilla? ✭ Oscar Piastri
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Summary: It's always the quiet ones that are the freakiest. But that wasn't what every other driver on the grid thought as they teased Oscar and you for being too innocent to know anything beyond vanilla sex. So when you guys didn't put up a fight, they figured they were right... until someone was lucky enough to see you and Oscar on the other end of the spectrum of "plain sex".
Warnings: not vanilla sex! fingering, oral (male receiving), bondage (hands tied together), spreader bar (if that even what it’s called), unprotected sex, rough because how else would you have it? Gagging and deep-throating Oscar’s huge dick 😩
Word Count: 1.6k
A/N: Oscar is the man who makes me wanna wake up in the morning and I love it!! I'm so obsessed with him it's making me go insane, but if I'm going insane it's fine because I'm going insane over him. Everything about him is beautiful and I wanna call him pretty and gorgeous and watch as he blushes. Then ride him and take control of him until he wants to teach me lesson and makes me pass out. (I’m just a girl) Based off of this request.
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“Oscar, how would you say relationships outside of F1 have helped you grow in this sport as a driver and as a person. If they had an impact, and if not then why?” Oscar’s PR manager testing questions on him, posing as one of the many journalists trying to break Oscar’s wall that he’s been perfect at keeping up so far. He finds it amusing that they have so much interest in his life, only encouraging him to keep his words to a minimum. Well as long as you don’t come up– his cheeks immediately flush and he starts every sentence with “my girlfriend” before he looks at others and silently begs them to say something to shut him up.
“Well, everyone’s been supportive of my career. Which only makes me want to do my best, and better than that.” Keeping a straight face as he answers until he looks at you beside him then Lando with a proud grin on his face.
“Who’s everyone…? Your girlfriend?” Lando’s voice teases, like every schoolgirl talking about their friend's crush.
“I- yeah. She does a lot for me, helps me let off steam before and after races, she also-”
“Let off steam, huh? Is my Oscar making his girlfriend cum to let off steam?” Lando’s mouth wide open, making an ‘o’ shape. Both you and Oscar have mixed emotions– heat coursing through you remembering just this morning, but also shock from Lando’s unhinged question.
“You’d be surprised?” Oscar’s answer broad, but you knew. Letting Lando believe that Oscar lets you cum, when his favourite thing is edging you until tears roll down your face.
“Oscar, you probably just learnt what a clit is.” Lando having nothing better to do than tease him as his pale cheeks turn pink. 
“Believe whatever makes you happy.” Oscar shutting down the conversation before he reveals too much, a little smile on his lips as he chuckles and moves his hand further up your thigh.
˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘⋆
It wasn’t just Lando who would have a say about you and Oscar’s sexual life, but any driver who happened to walk into the conversation at the perfect time.
“Oh yeah, Oscar you’re vanilla.” His fellow Australian, Daniel Ricciardo, says. Joining them on their walk to wherever they all had to be next. 
“Well actually I think Oscar is a little more than vanilla. He’s vanilla but not vanilla.” Logan pops in too.
“No. Oscar is sooo vanilla. Like he’s too scared to choke his girlfriend because she’ll die and he’s never marked her so she knows she’s his.” Lando expresses his words with so much passion it makes Oscar roll his eyes but know exactly what Lando’s doing when their hotel rooms are beside each other and he’s invited a girl over. 
“Wow. Calm down Lando, I think we learnt a little bit more from you than Oscar. You definitely need a girlfriend.” Daniel spoke the words everyone was thinking. Letting Oscar finally breathe and have all the attention over to Lando and his desires.
˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘⋆
“Fuck, I needed you.” Oscar groans out, thrusting himself ever deeper into your mouth. “Talking ‘bout how vanilla we are. But look at us.” The position you were in was unimaginable. You lay on your back, head on the edge of the sofa as Oscar rammed into your mouth with his fingers opening you wide and making you cum. But still, that wasn’t enough, your hands tied together and a spreading bar made sure your legs couldn’t be shut, always ready for Oscar, but with a blindfold over your eyes how would you know? Each of your moans were muffled by his cock and as one of his hands played with your clit the other toyed with your nipple.
Blood rushed to your head from this position and it filled in for the loss of his hand around your neck. Oscar pounded into you, his dick making you gag as you deepthroated him. An explosion of fireworks inside of you as he continued making you cum, a loud scream trying it’s best to flee your puffy lips, but Oscar couldn’t help but enjoy hearing you struggle to make out any coherent sounds because of his cock. 
By now it was impossible to remember the amount of times he had made you release. From his mouth, fingers and dick, all you did know was that that number was only going to increase. 
Each of his moves were so intense, Oscar had you spellbound. Unable to notice anything other than him. Well that was until he pounded himself as deep as he could into your mouth and then stopped. Everything went silent.
“Oh fuck! Oscar?!” Those words certainly didn’t come out of your mouth, and when you realised who did say that, oh you couldn’t have been more embarrassed, but somehow aroused. Seconds later the door finally shut, and you could only think about the uncensored view Lando had of the both of you. 
“Fuck, I’ll deal with him later. But for now…you need to cum.” Pulling out of your swollen mouth and grabbing you off the couch to lay your shamelessly sinful body on the floor. Oscar doesn’t take his time, manhandling your legs so your feet are nearly inline with your head and then making your arms keep them back by going in front of the spreader bar.
Leaving your pussy so exposed and vulnerable that Oscar could do whatever he liked between those drenched folds. It was always a gamble with Oscar, sometimes he’d take his time to tease you, others he wouldn’t even give you time to catch breath. This was just as unpredictable as others, by now you would either be covered in your own tears from his edging or on the verge of passing out because you could feel him in your throat after coming in you repeatedly. 
You felt less of an advantage, not even being able to lay eyes on him, so you listened to your own heavy breathing until he touched you again. Fingers going between your folds and spreading them apart with his index and ring finger. Lightly teasing you with his middle one. “Looks like you’ve had enough today huh? Or can you take one more?” 
You nod your head as an answer, but it’s never enough as he asks you for words.
“Y-yes. I can take more.” You force out between breaths, in shock of how you even managed to say those words. 
“Oh really? Well that’s great.” Oscar holds your pliant body up even further and then makes a swift move of ramming himself deep inside of you. Once again it pulled all of the oxygen from your lungs and the stretch from the position couldn’t be compared to the stretch from his cock. You couldn’t complain as he thrusted in again and hit your g-spot. Bringing more tears to your red eyes.
Grunts and groans slipping past his lips and making his actions such a godly sensation. 
Oscar pounds himself into you with no mercy, finding pleasure in your moans and cries. You wish to hold him, dig your fingers into his shoulders and mark his back. Adorn his pale skin in love bites and make his lips swollen. Thinking about the way his body flexes with every thrust and how divine he would look from this position that you’ve been in many times but each new one has a different effect.
“What’d you think Lando’s telling them?” Oscar grips your thighs tighter–fingers certainly making bruises– keeping you in place as he vigorously rams inside of your overstimulated pussy. Never losing pattern or momentum.
“You think he’s telling them about how you took me so well? Your hands tied up? And how fucking good you looked between my legs.” Each of Oscar’s words having such an effect on you it could've been a trick of hypnotism. Your legs shaking and lips parted as you came. Oscar savoured the beautiful sounds leaving your mouth and he worked harder to fuck your high out and bring his in.
You clenched around him, forcing a moan to finally leave his lips and bless your ears. Oscar spasms and releases inside of you. Pushing himself so deep and his cum even deeper. He thrusts a few more times, easing both of you out and spreading his cum inside your walls. Oscar sits in you for a while before pulling out. “Fuck, that was so. Fucking. Good.” He starts untying you and helping you come undone from all of the restraints. Letting you lay flat on the floor as he did all the work.
“I would’ve been in you for hours if he didn’t come in. Can’t imagine what he said to them”
Oscar crawls up your body and plants a kiss on your lips. 
˚˖𓍢ִ໋🌷͙֒✧˚.🎀༘⋆
Finally leaving Oscar’s room you both didn’t know what to expect. Well definitely not drivers surrounding a small table as Lando spoke to them all with hand actions and his face even worse. 
“Y’know vanilla isn’t even that bad. But wow Piastri, I didn’t think that.” Daniel brings all the attention to you two. Every driver turned their head with a series of reactions on their faces.
“You are freaky Oscar.” Logan couldn’t hold back and somehow Fernando was there to agree with him.
“I have to tell Charles! Now I know what you two do.” Pierre smirks, making you blush and look at the ground.
“Well I guess I was wrong, but Oscar why didn’t you tell me you sneaky boy. Because then I had to see it.” 
“It seemed like you wanted to join.” 
“No I-”
“The way you’re speaking about Lando, it seemed like you wanted to join.” Daniel once again kind of saving Oscar from these unfortunate topics.
“What? Guys this is about Oscar and how freaky he is with his girlfriend!”
“If you want to join, just ask.” You finally speak, teasing Lando and watching the way his face changes. 
“Oh you guys are so not vanilla!”
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sundrop-writes · 28 days
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How would Spencer react to the f!reader eating a sucker in a very provocative way during a meeting?
I decided to change this up a bit. Rather than it being during a meeting, it's just randomly around the office because eating a sucker/lollipop during a meeting would be annoying af.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy!
How would Spencer Reid react to you teasing him with a lollipop?
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Warnings: reader can definitely be interpreted as gender neutral because there isn't much description of them beyond their mouth (sorry if that isn't what you wanted lmao); this is very sensual/smutty toned (but there is no sex scenes); Spencer is thinking about sex acts/is having sexual fantasies about the reader; heavy sexual innuendo; definitely leans more toward Sub!Spencer; I was thinking of S4/S5 Spencer when I wrote this but you can imagine any Spencer; background Morcia; implications of Spencer masturbating in the bathroom at work. Reader loves teasing Spencer - idk what else. Not really proofread.
"Oooh, what's this?" You asked, walking up to see a large bowl of candy sitting in the middle of Morgan's desk.
"Leftovers from Halloween." Prentiss explained, not looking up from the file that she was reading. "Of course, Garcia put them on Morgan's desk. What was it that she said?"
"A little something sweet for my something sweet." JJ recited the words from her place at the coffee machine with a laugh.
"Oh, he is gonna love that when he comes in." You chuckled.
You knew that he wasn't going to eat all of it himself, and Garcia likely intended it as a pick-n-go for the office anyway - so you took a careful glance into the bowl and then picket an appealing round lollipop. A blow-pop, you quickly realized. Very nice. You knew the gum in the middle was crappy, but you would have fun seeing how long it would take to get to it, and it was cherry flavoured - one of your favourite candy flavours.
You grabbed it up and a few others to slip into your desk drawers, along with taking a few packets of M&Ms for your favourite desk neighbour. When you walked over to your desk that was in front of his, you tossed the candy so that it hit the front of his chest, and Spencer jumped violently, having been scared right out of his concentration from whatever he was reading. A thick academic paper, from the looks of it.
You heard Emily's nasel chuckle in from behind you at how hard he had jumped.
"Good morning." You greeted him with a wide smile as he glared at you, but took the candy and began opening it anyway.
"Yeah." He scoffed.
"You're welcome." You also said, nodding toward the candy in his hand.
"Did you know that M&Ms shortly after their creation, M&Ms were exclusively distributed to the US military during World War II as a part of soldier's rations?" Spencer stated, giving another one of his 'fun facts'.
"Due to the candy coating making them far less perishable, and far easier to transport due to the fact that they were less likely to melt. At the time, they were packaged in cardboard tubes and featured a violet colour among the candies. And that's how they became famously known as 'the candy that melts in your mouth, not in your hand'." Spencer explained, the last words becoming muffled as he stuffed some of the candy into his mouth.
"And now they have gone from feeding soldiers to being the breakfast of a skinny little genius like you." You joked, unwrapping your lollipop and raising it to your lips.
You were one of the people who joked about it, but you secretly loved the fact that he was skinny. You would never tell, but you imagined pinning him down and him not being able to get away because of his lack of muscle.
Spencer would have made some clever reply, but instead, his eyes became locked on your lips.
Watching your lips gently wrap around the roundness of the lollipop immediately sparked something in him. From that moment, his eyes focused on nothing but your mouth, and he absolutely lost all train of thought - including the fact that he had been reading something before you even sat down.
It wasn't even intentional at first. At first, you were just enjoying a random sweet treat at seven o'clock in the morning, going about small things like taking off your jacket and getting the files organized on your desk, and when you looked up to ask Reid if he had a spare red pen that you could use to mark off some things - that was when you noticed it.
That far off, glassy look in his eye that you had never seen before.
He was staring at your lips, hard, clearly not even realizing that he was doing it - at this point, the candy had just barely stained the inner part of your mouth red, and he was being driven insane, imagining himself running his thumb or even the head of his leaking cock along that spot, feeling the pure softness of your lips, having your sweet tongue reach out to meet the throbbing head of his-
"Reid?"
The sudden sound of your voice seemed to shake him from this daydream.
You pulled the lollipop from your mouth with a wet smack, and he swallowed a whimper - it was a sound so subtle that you wouldn't have been able to hear it if you hadn't been carefully listening. You clenched your jaw, suppressing a smirk. You didn't want him to know that he had been caught. Not yet.
"Um - ah - yeah?" He stuttered out, quickly looking back down at the papers in the middle of his desk, trying not to make it seem like he had been staring at you so blatantly.
"Can I borrow a red pen?" You asked, trying to give him your best look of feigned innocence as you placed the cherry red bulb back to your lips while waiting for his answer, gently tracing your tongue around it.
You loved the way his eyes clung to this action like a magnet, his own lips dropping open slightly as he let out a hot breath in awe, his pupils blown wide.
His pants were suddenly very tight.
Spencer had to purposefully tear his eyes away from your mouth when you began oh-so-slowly teasing the lollipop in and out of your lips, forcing him to perfectly picture the round head of his cock fucking between those perfect cherry lips.
He frantically looked around his desk, and grabbed the first pen with a red cap that he could find.
"Here you go." He mumbled, tossing it onto your desk, not even bothering to hand it to you.
He then grabbed his messenger bag from underneath his desk and so subtly placed it at his front while he scrambled off toward the bathroom. You simply let out a laugh and then shoved the candy into your mouth fully, looking back down at your files and getting to work.
Spencer could only pray that you would be done with the lollipop by the time he got back.
A/N: Okay this definitely turned more into the style of a blurb, but what I love about writing requests right in my inbox is that I don't need to do a super defined style, I can just write whatever comes off the top of my head and I don't have to worry about over-editing stuff. It's great for creativity and it's almost like a writing exercise? Anyway, I had a lot of fun with this.
Criminal Minds Masterlist
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radioactiveinvisible · 2 months
Text
pretty girl | spencer reid
spencer x fem!bau!reader summary: you realize you’re not that special to spencer. after all, he’s sharing his coke and kisses with someone you aren’t. and you could never be. still, you’re his friend. you’re gonna be always on his corner even if it means shattering your heart. genre: hurt/comfort i guess. and slow(est) burn with best friends to (maybe) lovers! warnings (?): lila archer's ep spoilers. 18x01. a/n: okay, at first i thought about making Spencer suffer a little more, but i'm not going to lie to you, my heart hurt. because i just finished the prison arc and- i just want someone to comfort HIM. please. he deserves some peace. so- yeah, that's why reader is so soft to him. hehe. i really hope you like this one! thank you so much for reading. word count: 6.7k previous | next
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Los Ángeles, California
Late night
Art galleries remind him of you, especially those of contemporary works. He has to admit that he has a bit of trouble interpreting them. Spencer knows color theory inside out and is aware of the influences of psychology on art. In that sense, reading them is easy for him. But when it comes to enjoying them or feeling them? Well, that’s where he has troubles. So, from time to time, you swap movie nights for gallery ones. And he is more than happy to oblige.
“Does it make you feel anything?” Lila suddenly asks.
Oh. Spencer is surprised to not hear your voice. He frowns in bewilderment.
“Like what?” he answers, returning his gaze to the exhibit. It is an urban landscape of saturated colors. The gas station is dyed phosphorescent green and the sky in the background is an electric blue. Overwhelmed, maybe that’s how he feels.
“I can’t tell you how to feel,” Lila smiles, looking up at him through her long eyelashes.
He knows she can’t, but somehow he’s still waiting for you to guide him in the answer. You know that he has no problem deciphering the meaning of the work, and what the author meant. That’s easy for him. It’s almost like profiling the piece of art. So, you’d ask him what it means to him. And sometimes it just doesn’t mean anything to him beyond what the artist meant. In those cases, you would just shrug your shoulders and tell him it’s okay. “Not all art pieces have an impact on us,” you’d say. At those moments his breathing usually catches and he gently brushes his fingers against yours, just to make sure you’re real. To make sure that he can afford not to know something- at least when he’s with you. That he can finally stop being a genius and still be able to be looked at by you. He smiles just thinking about it.
“Right now I feel pretty good,” Spencer admits. And he wants her to feel good as well, so he talks about you. “Uh, my best friend usually takes me to gallery arts. And one night we went to one of John Baldessari’s. I think it’s one of my favourites.” He doesn’t say that maybe it’s because you are a huge enthusiast about his work. And when he sees you talking about it? Well. He definitely feels warm. “And, so, my friend was explaining to me the importance not only of what we can see in the exhibitions but also those elements that aren’t there. She then told me that Baldessari once said that one of the best compliments he ever got was ‘John, what I like about your work is what you leave out.’”
“He sounds like a smart person,” Lila says. “Your friend, I mean.”
“Oh, she is,” Spencer nods, correcting Lila. “She’s very smart.” There’s a hint of proudness in his voice that he doesn’t try to hide.
Quantico, Virginia
Next morning
You have the back of the chair reclined as far as it will go, with your feet resting on a space on Penelope’s overflowing desk. Your eyes are fixed on the wall, watching how the light changes inside the pink ball each time you bounce it against the same spot over and over.
“Could you stop that, please?” Garcia repeats. “You can break something and my babies are pretty expensive.”
“Sorry,” you say, stopping. “But are you doubting my aim?” you joke.
“I am doubting my patience, sugar.”
“Ouch, you know.”
“Where’s Reid when needed?” she mutters under her breath.
You straighten up, swinging your feet off her desk. The spring of the chair squeaks at your sudden movement.
“Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, trying to measure your surprise. Or your indignance. You are confused.
“You know what I mean,” Garcia says, though her tone is more gentle. Almost like apologizing.
“I really don’t,” you frown. You start to feel like you had been cut by a thin paper sheet.
Gracia sighs, spinning her chair so now she’s facing you. “We both know you are only this early in my beautiful cave because Reid’s in L.A, and since he can’t entertain you from there…” She explains.
You can feel how your cheeks are getting hotter- when, suddenly, you realize.
“Wait.” You say, narrowing your gaze at her. “So… when Spencer casually swings by your office and takes me back there to the bullpen…?” Garcia looks guilty and refuses to return your gaze. “He only does it because you call him! You tell him what, to pick me up?” You can’t believe her. You laugh genuinely surprised.
“No!” She says. “Well, yeah, sometimes. But only sometimes, I swear. And I only started doing it because he already came looking for you often enough.”
“I thought you liked having me here,” you say, the joke dying in your remorseful. Have you been making Garcia uncomfortable? (And in the back of your mind there’s playing a song you are trying to stop- does Spencer seeking out for you in her office mean that he misses you the same way you are missing him right now?)
“I do!” she quickly clarifies you. “But-“
“No, yeah, I get it.” You smile at her. “I’m sorry.”
“You don’t have to be!” Garcia’s expression is somewhat pleading. “I’m so sorry.”
Your laugh is amused again. “It’s nothing.”
There’s a knock. “Kid, we’ve got a case,” Morgan says as opening the door.
You nod, standing up in a second, and before leaving Garcia’s office you croon “I know you called him.”
“I didn’t!” Garcia grins back at you.
Morgan just huffs, shaking his head. “Later, babygirl.”
“So, where are we heading?” you ask, making your way to the roundtable room. Morgan stops you in your tracks.
“L. A, we’re leaving now. Grab your go-bag, we’ll debrief on the plane. Reid and Gideon are already visiting the crime scenes.”
“Oh.” You nod, suppressing the smile that threats to slips. “Okay.”
Los Angeles, California.
Later that day
You owe me. You repeat the words in your head. But not exactly how they sound, but rather how they were written on the newspaper. With pink sharpie. Dark enough so someone could mistakenly believe it was red. It’s odd. How many UnSubs had pink sharpies lingering in their houses? It’s very specific. You chew your bottom lip, waving the options.
“Kids, let’s go,” Morgan stands up, bumping Spencer’s knee.
Spencer waits for you to clear the doorframe before adjusting himself to your side.
“Do I look twelve years old to you?” Spencer asks out of nowhere.
“No,” you answer in a beat. “Why? Did someone say you do?”
“Yeah, yesterday we visited an art gallery with Gideon, and uh, an old high school classmate said I looked exactly the same.” He frowns, looking lost. Social cues are hard.
“Well, you don’t,” you assure him, flashing a smile. “I promis-“
You are cut by the sight of her. Gorgeous, gorgeous blonde hair. Beautiful side profile. Bright blue eyes. Oh, she must be a star-
“Lila?” Spencer is pleasantly surprised, his eyes lighten up with recognition. “Hi.”
She looks at him wearing the same expression as his.
Oh, she is a star. A star that Spencer likes.
* * *
“How well did you know Natalie Ryan?” Hotch asks, crossing his arms.
“We spoke when we saw each other in public, but we were never friends,” Lila replies, her gaze flickering through all of our faces. Poor girl, she must be scared, you think.
“How about Wally Melman?” Hotch tries again.
“What?” Lila looks confused.
“Wally Melman,” Elle repeats. “He was a producer who was killed a couple months ago.”
“The paper said that was a robbery,” Lila insists.
“Well, the paper was wrong,” Gideon intervenes, not even glancing up.
“Did you know him?” Hotch redirects the conversation back to the course.
“Well, we met a few times about a project, but I didn’t get the part. They went a different way.”
“Which way?” Elle asks.
“He cast another act-“ Lila’s voice dies. “Oh, my God.”
“What is it?” Spencer asks, concerned.
“He cast Natalie Ryan.” Lila’s manager explains.
Spencer glances up at you, standing by his side. You lift the newspaper. “You owe me,” you repeat the words written by the UnSub.
“I guess that’s one way to ice out the competition?” Elle’s eyes are sharp and her tone is sharper. She’s looking directly at Lila’s manager.
“Don’t look at me,” he’s quick to answer, holding his palms up. “I brought her into the police station.”
“Had you ever sense that someone is watching you, following you?” Gideon inquiries, absentmindedly.
“From the moment I get to work,” Lila starts, “I have hair and makeup, and warddrobe people, producers, writers, my agent, my manager, publicist. Not to mention photographers. I-“
“It’s part of the life”, her manager simplifies.
Phew. What a life. Must be exhausting. You think about it and shudder. You look down at Spencer and he’s- worried. His big puppy eyes are full of pure concern. For her.
“Anything that seems odd, out of the ordinary, happens on a regular basis or a semi-regular basis?” Gideon continues, now looking at Lila.
“What do you mean?”
“Repetitive phone calls with hang ups?” Spencer suggests.
“Gifts left anonymously?” You complement.
“I receive flowers.” She shrugs. “On the seventh of each month, they just appear in my trailer. Never a note. Just a plain glass bowl.” You and Morgan share a glance. “Red anemones. My favourite.”
“And you don’t want to know who they’re from?” Elle doesn’t blink.
“Celebrities get anonymous gifts all the time.” Her manager intervenes once more. Then he clears his throath. “She has fans, you know.”
“You remember meeting anyone on the seventh day of the month?” Gideons suggests. “Or in July, the seventh month of the year?”
Lila’s eyes are fixed on the floor, her hand holding her forehead. She shakes her head before glancing up at Gideon. “No.”
“Wally Melman was a producer who considered hiring you, but didn’t… and Natalie was a rival.” Hotch summarizes.
“And Chloe Harris, she looks a lot like you. Don’t you think?”, Elle adds, holding a photo of her.
“Who?” Lila asks, shooting her eyebrows up.
“A potential rival,” you say.
“She was murdered too,” Hotch clarifies.
“So, all these people are…” Lila stops, testing the word in her tongue. She looks like she has licked a lemon. “... being killed because of me?”
“It’s possible.” Hotch’s gaze soften a bit.
Lila brings both hands to her face and breathes out her frustration through them. “Ugh. Sorry. I can’t. I have to go.” She grabs her purse and hurries to the exit. Not even a heartbeat later, Spencer’s following her.
“Ooooh,” Morgan nudges you. “Looks like pretty boy got a celebrity crush.”
“Yeah.” You force yourself to laugh. “Looks like it.”
Elle places a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Have any ideas about the case?”
You blink and then you are nodding. “Actually, yeah. Uhm, here, one sec-“
Morgan laughs.
“What?” you say.
“Actually,” he mimics you.
“Oh, shut up.” “Grow up, Morgan.” You and Elle say almost at the same time.
“L/N?” Hotch says, stepping closer to the three of you. “The ideas?”
“Oh! Right,” you pull out your notebook. You don’t have an eidetic memory, so you manage yourself. “Uhm, there were a couple of things that stood out to me from what Lila told. Especially the flowers and the plain glass bowl. If you are choosing a vase and not just leaving the flowers on their own- why choose one without decorations? If I’m trying to win the heart of my object of delusion, wouldn’t I make more effort? Unless I don’t want her to know who I am. Unless my preferences are very obvious. Or I don’t know. Because there’s also the fact that the UnSub knows which flowers are her favorites. How many people know that? I’m going to call Garcia and ask her if there is any interview where Lila said that. Otherwise, maybe we should explore the possibility that the UnSub is someone close.”
Hotch nods. “Alright. Call Garcia. See what you can get.”
“Yes, sir,” you reply, already dialing Garcia’s number.
“Ask and you shall receive, my lovely” Garcia’s voice answers.
You bite a laugh back. “Hey, Garcia, could you check some of Lila’s interviews for me? I want to know if she said something about red anemones.”
Spencer is back in the precinct and taps your shoulder to let you know, but you hold your finger up at him, motioning at your phone. You walk away to the other side of the room. And he stays dumbfounded.
* * *
Hot weather doesn’t excite you. Even less when you’ve forgotten your sunglasses. You sigh, cupping your hands over your eyes, praying it’s enough relief for now. While you wait for Gideon to arrive with the boys, you look around Lila’s trailer. There is no space in the parking lot, but there are not too many people passing through either. So the UnSub could be stood out and no one would notice, ‘cause there isn’t much going around. You don’t know for sure.
“Did you forget your sunglasses again?” You squint at Spencer’s emerging figure. Gideon, Morgan, and Detective Kim are a few steps behind him.
“Mhm,” you wince. “I’m so ready to leave L. A.”
He just hums, but something else is holding his attention. You follow his gaze and it lands right on your necklace. The sun shines sparkles on the pendant he gave you.
“May I?” he asks, his fingers twitching in anticipation.
You are unsure what he is talking about, but you nod anyway. Then, he ever so respectful, not even daring to touch your skin, picks up the astronomical ring. He unfolds it, lifting it towards the sun so you can see the shadow that the principal ring casts on the other ones. “See?” he whispers, “the shadow? It’s around noon.”
You’re positive you’ve forgotten how to breathe while buzzing ants walk over your arms. You can’t help but giggle. “Yeah?” you say.
He nods, wearing his good-boy smile. He’s close enough you can see the golden flecks dance in his brown eyes. “You can check it with your phone if you want.”
“I don’t need to do that,” you smile, leaning in enough so that your forehead rests against his cheekbone as shallowly as if it were a feather. “I trust you. And your 187 IQ,” you chuckle, pulling away.
“Are you two done?” Morgan tries to ask in a stern voice but fails to hide the smugness in his smile.
You are about to bicker back when you notice the uncomfortable expression on Detective Kim’s face and the warning in Gideon’s eyes. Maybe later. “Yes, sorry,” you murmur.
“C’mon, kid,” Morgan rolls his eyes, looping his arm around your shoulders to drag you inside Lila’s trailer.
Once inside, all of you begin to search for new details that will help you materialize the UnSub. And as if sent from heaven, Lila enters with a crumpled paper in her hand. Gideon, gears fast from years of experience, puts the note right away in an evidence bag. He hums before passing it around. “I’m intrigued by this particular version of the verb ‘to be,” he says.
“Past participle.” Spencer adds, holding up the evidence so you can read it too. The message is written in pencil this time, with angry caligraphy, made it in a hurry. Lila- I’ve always been good to you. Why’d you go to the police?, says the paper.
“Steady state of being,” you nod, understanding where they are getting.
“Preceding adverb,” Gideon continues.
“‘Always’,” Spencer agrees.
“In English?” Detective Kim urges.
“That is English, actually.” Spencer explains, uncrossing his arms so he can be able to gesture with his hands. You hold back a smile. “We’re discussing the verb tenses of-“
“Reid. Reid.” Morgan cuts him. This time, you don’t hold back your frown on him.
“Our stalker sounds like someone she knows,” Gideon translates.
“Based on the tense of the verb,” you add. “Plus, Garcia couldn’t find any interview about red anemonas. So, the UnSub might even be close to her.”
Morgan then suggests that maybe it’s time to take Lila off the streets in order to protect her. Spencer argues that so far Lila has not been physically threatened and that perhaps it would be best to do the exact opposite: keep her in the public eye. Gideon is about to give his opinion when Lila speaks for the first time since she came in.
“I’m standing right there, guys,” she uses her celebrity tone, tilting her head to the side and letting her hair flow down in a coordinated cascade of golden champagne.
“If we did remove you, we’d have to take you to a non-disclosed location,” Gideon states, glancing at her above his glasses. “I’m sure your stalker knows where you live.”
“I’m not having the whole show close down.” She shrugs, nonchalantly. “I only have one more scene to shoot.”
Everyone shares a moment of silence.
“Look, last night I decided I wasn’t going to be afraid of this lunatic.” Lila’s expression leaves no room for doubt. Surely she gets things done her way more often than not. “Am I safe here?”
“Well, the set’s cleared of everyone except essential personnel,” Detective Kim concedes, “and we have increased security at the gate.”
There’s a knock on the door that waits for no response. “Lila, they’re ready for you,” a blonde girl says.
“I’m staying at work,” it’s the final answer Lila makes, leaving the trailer.
“Well, she’s one tough girl,” Morgan says.
“Yeah,” Spencer agrees.
You press your lips into a thin line to avoid scoffing. Yeah. Tough girl.
* * *
You make the paper cup dance in circles, watching thoughtfully as the watered-down coffee spirally reflects the lights of the studio. You and Morgan are waiting on this fake beach for Spencer to come back from buying his coke.
“Everything alright?” Morgan asks, toasting his own bad coffee with yours to get your attention.
“Hmm?” you reply, lifting your gaze to him. “Yeah.”
“What’s bothering you?” he insists.
“I don’t know…” you hoop your finger in your necklace, fidgeting with it. “I think we’re missing something but I can’t really tell you what. And- on the other hand, I feel like our efforts are being dismissed by the very victim.”
Morgan huffs, noding. “I hear you.” Then a smile takes over his features. Oh, no. You know his teasing look. “Ooh, pretty boy is bold.”
You don’t want to look. You really don’t. But you can’t stop your feet soon enough, already turning in Spencer’s direction. He stands awkwardly close to Lila, shifting his gaze to every available surface to avoid looking at her. She is so bright it may burn him. And then- you can swear Morgan hears you gasp when Lila extends her hand, grabbing Spencer’s coke. 
“You don’t mind sharing with me, do you?” Lila says matter-of-factly before bringing the bottle to her lips. And Spencer just shakes his head.
The acid settles at the bottom of your heart. You can’t help but feel displaced. You’d never say it out loud, but you thought you were special to Spencer. You thought you were the exception to his aversion to germs. You thought you had earned the privilege of sharing food with him out of confidence and a record of cleanliness. Well, you were clearly wrong. Because you’ve learned to carry hand sanitizer everywhere you go, but all Lila has had to do is reach out and shoot her sly smile. Huh. It doesn’t seem fair. But you should know that playing against stars isn’t. You will never shine the same.
And as if she were listening to your thoughts, Lila drops her bathrobe. You are going to cry. A blue bikini hides enough to not be censored on open television, but that’s it. The rest of her slender body catches the studio light in all the right places, making her skin look like porcelain. You know you shouldn’t, but there isn’t enough willpower in you: you look up at Spencer. And he’s looking at Lila like she’s the first girl he’s ever seen. You drink the horrible coffee hoping to choke.
Morgan, however, has another agenda in mind. He walks over to Spencer and waves to you. You shouldn’t listen to him, but there you are. Right behind him.
“You don’t mind sharing with me, do you?” Morgan repeats, already laughing.
Spencer flusters immediately. “Shut up.”
You don’t look at him and he doesn’t try to make you do it before leaving as fast as he can. Like your presence is unbearable to him. You don’t know why. He’s not the one having his circulatory system drowning on poison.
* * *
Are three agents more than enough to take care of Lila? Maybe you should leave this to Spencer and Morgan. Maybe you should’ve gone with Gideon. You sigh. You’ve already done your best to profile every person on this studio set. From the lady styling Lila’s hair to the guy carrying the microphones. Even the girl that popped up into Lila’s trailer- huh. That’s funny. You don’t have eyes on her anymore. But you do have eyes on Spencer. Again. He’s talking over the phone and sending worried glances towards Lila. You bite down your jealousy and approach him.
“Is everything alright?” you ask, keeping your voice low.
He shakes his head, not acknowledging you, his eyes still fixed on Lila. “Gideon’s got too late to her manager. He told me to take her out the streets.”
“By yourself?” you furrow your eyebrows, worried.
Spencer blinks, looking at you somewhat hurt. “Why? You don’t think I’m capable?”
“What?” you step back, surprised. “I didn’t say that.”
“But that’s what you meant?” he’s using his flat tone. The sarcastic one. He’s shutting you out.
“What? Where is this coming from?” you say, blood boiling in incredulous annoyance. “I am just worried. You might as well be a target. Lila likes you, after all.”
Spencer’s gaze softens a bit, but his words are still defensive. “I can manage. I am an FBI agent just like everyone else on the team.”
It takes everything in you to not roll your eyes. You sigh and hold your hands up, offering peace. “Okay, Spencer. I’m gonna get back to the precinct with Morgan. Let Gideon know that you’re safe.” ‘Cause right now I don’t care. You don’t wait for his response before turning around.
* * *
You never made it back to the police station but instead went after a lead. Joe Martinez, a paparazzo in the words of Detective Kim. You guys found a ton of photos of Lila and even a schedule of her shots. And several close-up photos of Spencer from his night in the gallery. The “I told you so” is quickly swapped away by your worry. You can only pray that he and Lila are okay.
And perhaps you prayed too much. Elle clicks her tongue in disapproval, looking Spencer up and down. He is soaked and his hair acts as a curtain, protecting him from embarrassment. You focus on the camera in your hands, mechanically taking out the photo roll. At this point in the investigation, you should know better than to trust your masochistic instincts, but it’s as if you’re looking to stab your heart at every given opportunity. You hold the negative photos up to the moonlight. And you would like an eclipse to occur that pulverizes the evidence of his indifference toward you.
Each frame is fascinating in itself. Lila grabs Spencer’s tie. He doesn’t make much of an effort to move away, but you notice his resistance. Lila’s lips are persuading, however. And Spencer’s conviction wavers with the flow of the pool. In the next photo, they both hold their faces as if they were what kept them afloat. Safe. They are the oxygen they need in the middle of the chlorine.
“I, uh, fell in,” Reid explains to Elle.
Elle extends a hand toward you, palm up. You’re more than relieved to leave the photo roll in her possession.
“Yeah, and I’m sure there’s plenty of photos of it,” Elle states bluntly, passing him the film. “You’re welcome.”
You chuckle, but it comes out more like a huff. And now Reid is looking at you. No, Spencer is. He brushes his hair off his face. You want to follow Elle and get out of there, but there’s a longing in Spencer’s gaze that you can’t ignore. You know what he’s willing to find. And you know you weren’t quick enough to hide it, so you disguise it. You dress your wounded heart with a protective layer of disapproval. He’s a federal agent. He was supposed to take care of a victim being stalked. Is his idea of surveillance making out with her in an open pool? What if Joe Martinez turned out to be the UnSub? They would both be dead. A bullet pierced between their eyebrows by now. He accused you of not believing in his ability to get the job done because all this time he was the one doubting his own skills. He was projecting. You know it well because you know him. And because you know him, you also know that he is having this same monologue inside his head. You sigh. You really don’t want to add more pressure to his guilt. You might be disappointed, but you know he is even more.
“Ang-“ he starts, but you cut him right there.
He wouldn’t. He has no right to call you that. Not now. Not after- Lila.
“Of course you fell in, Crash,” you say, your tongue tracing soothingly every letter in the nickname his mother gave him out of his clumsiness. “Make sure Lila lends you a dry mismatched pair of socks, okay?” you smile softly at him, turning around to enter the house and hide the sting that your eyes surely hold.
Comforting him as your heart bends in two unable to hold its own weight is the last thing you thought of doing, but you don’t regret it. If you are being honest, there’s no room for your hurt. You two are friends. And friends support each other, they don’t rub their mistakes on each other faces. It doesn’t matter how poorly they did their federal job. After all, he’s only 24 years old and he was in a pool with a gorgeous girl. How to blame him? Clearly, his IQ does not exonerate him from being human. But what really hurts you is that he tried to call you angel. How does he think that’s fair?
You can count on one hand the times he has called you that. The first time was when you killed your first UnSub. You stayed as still and quiet as a rock the whole travel back to Quantico. You felt like a bad person. What was the difference between you and him? You both pulled the trigger. You were just like the UnSub. You should resign from the FBI. Maybe it’s the first thing you’d do when you get to the office. The fluorescent lights in the elevator were suffocating you. All your mistakes were on display. The team would see them. Spencer would see them. My God, your lungs were burning.
Before you walked through the glass doors, Spencer pulled you lightly by your sleeve. He took you to the side of the hallway and looked you straight in the eyes. You’ve never seen him so determined. There was no trace of the timid genius who doesn’t shake hands.
“You did what you had to do,” Spencer assured you.
“It doesn’t feel like it.” You simply replied. You couldn’t talk more or you would break.
“It doesn’t matter how you feel right now. It matters who you are not.” He grabbed you by the shoulders, acting as an anchor to the real world.
You were not following, your brain being blurred from tears.
“You are not a murderer,” he breathed out, lifting your chin with his thumb. “You are not the same as the UnSub. You are not a bad person. And you are no less angel than before. Okay?”
You blink the memory away along with the tears. What is an angel compared to a star, anyway. With your focus back to the present, now you notice the collage in front of you. You must be losing your mind, ‘cause you swear you can see Lila’s features all over the art piece.
“Pretty girl?” Morgan softly calls you. It’s the first time he ever calls you that. And you know why.
You look at him like a deer caught by the front lights in the middle of the night. Frightened. In awe. And a little startled to be noticed, allowing you to accept your own existence now that you are in evidence- even if it means your death. “Am I that obvious?” you lower your voice, ashamed.
“Nah.” He hugs you by the shoulders. “Babygirl figured out. She might not be a profiler, but she sure has a sixth sense when it comes to these things. She was the one who told me. I don’t think anyone on the team had noticed, tho.” 
“I can’t believe Penelope,” you breathe out, hiding your face in his chest. The tears are gathering again.
“She meant no harm,” he says, locking you secure against him. “And neither did pretty boy.”
“I know.” Your voice comes out muffled by Morgan’s shirt. “But it hurts anyway.” Knowing that I will never be the one he likes.
“Yeah, I know.”
You wipe away your tears, stepping back from Morgan’s embrace. You smile briefly at him. “Thank you. And, please-“
“Not a word, pretty girl. Of course.” His smile is nothing but gentle and caring. “So, what’s up with this collage? What’s so interesting about it?”
“Lila said she likes it because it reminds her of life itself.” Spencer’s voice says from behind you.
When you look at Morgan, pure terror in your eyes, he just shakes his head. Thank God. Spencer wasn’t there the whole time. You let out an audible sigh of relief.
“What was that?” Spencer asks, placing himself by your other side. Now you are between him and Morgan, all of you in front of the collage.
“Nothing,” you dismiss. “What did you answer to what Lila said?”, you turn your attention to him, tilting your head so you can face him better.
“I, uh,” he attempts to control his blushing. “Said there was something definitely appealing about this one.”
“Oh,” you nod, returning your gaze to the exhibit. “That’s a first time. You’ve never used that word before-“
You are right. He has never used that word before towards a piece of art. And maybe it is your hot white jealousy talking and you are really losing your head- but now you can see more clearly splashes of Lila. What did Lila say? Life itself. Of course. The collage is made with moments of Lila’s life. You share a glance with Spencer and you know he has clicked as well.
“I hope you already committed to memory this, ‘cause we are tearing it apart,” you say to Spencer, before addressing Morgan. “Help us to take this down.”
You guys take the strips of photographic montages to Lila’s kitchen table and recompose the work. You can’t believe it. It is a great warm and sick love letter that tells Lila’s entire journey.
“Lila, it looks like someone’s been stalking you for years,” Morgan says.
“Yeah, this tells your whole life story,” Elle adds. “Movie premieres, theater playbills.”
“Everything since college,” Spencer says.
“Who gave you this collage?” Morgan urges.
“He did.” Lila points to a photo in the collage. A bearded young man smiling.
“This guy? Who is he?” Morgan insists.
“That’s the guy I went to high school with, Parker Dunley,” Spencer answers.
What? That doesn’t makes sense.
“Garcia.” Morgan pulls out his phone. “Parker Dunley. E-mail me a sheet on him, all right?”
Spencer notices your puzzled look. “What is it?”
“I don’t know.” You shake your head. “It’s just… all right. Everything here feels so intimate. So close. So purposefully placed. Almost like a feminine touch. It’s something a girl in love would make like an anniversary present. And I am not saying that a guy couldn’t do it but… a guy like Parker? C’mon. He thought it was a funny thing to say that you look like a 12-year-old kid.”
Elle hums. “Whether Parker is the UnSub or not, we should pay a visit. Morgan?”
“Garcia already sent the address. Let’s go.”
* * *
The lights in the office are off and the only desks on are yours, Morgan’s, and Spencer’s. You want to finish the paperwork today. You don’t want to touch this case ever again, so the quicker it’s over, the better. But you’re so, so exhausted. Even though you pretended to sleep on the return flight, you didn’t get any rest.
The UnSub turned out to be not Parker Dunley, but Maggie Lowe. An old friend from Lila’s college. The same one you saw disappear from the set in the morning. So, so stupid. If you hadn’t been blinded by your dull feelings, perhaps you could have done a better job. Still, the only thing your mind is really determined to remember is Reid’s hands grabbing Lila’s face. It’s an infinite loop. It rewinds every time it ends. Her fingers intertwined in his tie. Reid’s hands on her face. Their lips colliding. Her fingers in his tie. His hands on her face. Their lips-
You make sure to read your report twice, afraid that you’ve accidentally described Reid’s kiss with Lila. You sigh with relief. Nope. None of that, just details of the case. Your eyes hurt and sometimes sting. The tears are at the back of your throat and you know it. Maybe you should have accepted the girls’ invitation. You could be laughing lightly in alcohol instead of drowning in thick sadness.
“I’m out,” Morgan announces, switching off his light desk. “Night, Hollywood,” he says, nudging Spencer’s side. “Need a ride, pretty girl?” he then offers to you.
You jump out of your chair like a spring. Her fingers in his tie. You can’t stay alone with Spencer. His hands on her face. Not with your broken heart on your sleeve. Theirs lips colliding. “Yes!” you nod, grabbing your satchel. “Bye, Spenc-“ You fail to act casual and he fails to hide his sad expression.
“Uhm, alright,” he smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Have a good weekend.”
Oh, God. It’s Friday. You can’t do that to him. You swallow your shattered love. You’ll be okay. You’re his friend.
“Uh, Morgan, y’know what, I’ll take the train.”
Morgan shakes his head. “Okay, kid,” he smiles with sympathy, opening the glass doors.
“You didn’t have to do that,” Spencer says, gathering his things. “I get it if you are tired.”
You don’t know how much.
“No, it’s okay. What are we doing tonig-“
Oh. There’s a magazine on Reid’s desk. A pop one. Spencer never reads that kind of magazine. But of course, he had never been on the cover before. He has his hand resting on Lila’s shoulder and she leans her cheek there. It feels wrong seeing this. It feels more intimate than the kiss. It feels almost personal- Your breathing hitches. He has also taken your shoulder and you have also leaned on his hand. You’ve also seen it like Lila is seeing him in the photo. But he’s never seen you the way he sees her.
“Mystery man, huh?” you joke, trying to suffocate this ugly feeling that spreads through your body faster than the light itself.
“Hmm?” he says, not seeing what you are. But when he does, he looks guilty. A mystery man in Lila’s life?, the magazine says.
“You know, if this thing with the FBI doesn’t work out, you can always be a mystery man,” you chuckle. You can laugh this out. You know you can. You have to.
But Reid doesn’t find funny your joke. “Why’s Morgan calling you pretty girl?”
“What?” you reply, confused.
“Why’s Morgan calling you-“
“No, I heard it.” You furrow your brows. “But what does that have to do with anything?”
He shrugs. You don’t understand.
“I’m just curious.”
And you are not sure why, but you get angry. What does he care what Morgan calls you. You know your anger isn’t more than just an unfounded resentment, but you can feel bile creeping up your tongue and you’re not quick enough to stop it.
“Why? You don’t think I’m pretty?”
He looks surprised. “What? That’s not what I said!”
Oh, how the roles can change. “But that’s what you meant?”
“Wh- no! Stop twisting my words” his voice is coming out in high pitches. And then he realizes. You are just repeating what he said earlier to you. And he hasn’t apologized yet. “Oh.”
Silence fall between you two. And not the comfortable one you’re used to. Maybe you were too optimistic. Clearly, you can’t be alone with him right now. You’re not being fair to him. Maybe you should have taken Morgan’s offer.
“You are pretty,” he then says. “And I’m sorry.” A pause. “Both are facts.”
You hate how your heart seems to sew back with honey threads when you hear him call you pretty.
“And you know how serious I’m about facts.”
Yeah, you do. And just like that, the silence is warm again.
bonus!
spencer’s pov
Spencer feels uncomfortable and it has nothing to do with the feeling of wet socks. No. It’s like a crashing shame that doesn’t let him breathe normally. What is Hotch going to think when he finds out that he was making out with the victim he was sent to take care of? Forget Hotch. What is Gideon, the man who introduces him to everyone as a doctor, going to think? Nonetheless, even as Spencer thinks about their disappointments combined, the weight isn’t enough to explain the pressure in his chest. What is it then? His own disapproval of him? As genius as he is stupid, he calls himself.
Forget both. When Spencer watches you hold the roll of negatives up to the moonlight, it’s like someone has kicked him in the pit of the stomach, effectively knocking the air out of him. And then a pale lightning bolt hits the necklace he gave you and he feels like he’s going to die. He becomes aware of every drop of chlorine in his body and how dirty that water must have been. Even if he bathes a hundred times, he will never feel clean again.
He expects to be greeted by well-deserved anger in your eyes, but instead, he finds a deep sadness that gobbles him up. No. Did he do that? Impossible. He tries to approach you, but the fear of you rejecting him immobilizes him. He is bolted to the ground and desperate. How can he return the stars to your gaze that he is used to looking at? How can he make you understand what an angel you are to him?
“Ang-“ he tries, but he is immediately shushed by you.
“Of course you fell in, Crash.” He doesn’t remember a sweeter nickname or a gentler gaze. He is ashamed of how fast you can soothe him, his guilt draining as your eyes are no longer devastating. “Make sure Lila lends you a dry mismatched pair of socks, okay?” You shoot him a soft smile that smooths his sharp ugly feelings.
His heart fills with relief to see that you’re not angry. Nor disappointed. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve you in his life, but he hopes to do everything he can to keep you in it. “Okay,” he replies even though you’ve already inside the house. It doesn’t matter. After all, you’re always present in his mind. Just like the stars are always in the sky.
taglist: @mirdnightmass @monstrosityinside @nervousmumbling @sunflowersndpeaches s0urmarvelwispystarss405rryavis-writeshqsyrrupwishyoudaskmehaileycannotcometothephonernlololololooolook69redros3y@stargirlsturniololoveriamburdenedpleasantwitchgarden queermaxwooo becauseimamirrorball13 smashleywow cultish-corner zeida lou-the-confused-bisexual chaosemia l4venderia jupiteroftheuniverse keenstudentsuitcasegarden nomajdetective bohemianrhapsody86 sabage101 (once again, i hope i am not letting anyone out. THANK YOU SO MUCH, YOU GUYS! is wild how much you are liking these silly blurbs. it means a lot to me, thanks).
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