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#my family's trying hard right now and i can't offer them anything out of pure self interest
azucarmorena97 · 4 months
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Money Ties (Jungkook Love Story || Pt.5)
Pt.4 || Pt.6
Your parents have worked hard to get to the top and have made sure to teach you everything you need to know to be successful in this business: from tough but lucrative financial decisions, down to the right ball gown for any given banquet. A promising and extravagant future awaits you- that is, if you agree to one teensy detail...
Son of Mr.Jeon Sr. and heir to June Company, Jeon Jungkook is an immature playboy with nothing to offer a woman but good looks and a crap ton of money, and he stands to inherit much MUCH more, so long as you both enter into the arranged marriage contract that was drawn up before the pair of you were even born.
You're more than willing to try, but you're not sure you'll be able to stand each other long enough to inherit a single penny...
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Series Warnings: There will be smut in the near future and I will label those chapters as such. As I say before most of my pieces- I do not endorse any themes, ideas, or behaviors in this series. This is all purely fiction/fantasy! Feel free to inbox me suggestions/ideas/what you'd like to see in this series and I'll see what I can do! Enjoy <3
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Recap: The day is only halfway over, but your body feels so tired- as though all the stress that your mind wouldn't let you feel earlier has just flooded back to you. You need a nap- afterall, you're grabbing dinner with your fiance's family later.
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You sit in front of your computer, Zoom call already started on your end; you're just waiting for your parents to log into the meeting. You're nervous but expectant; you know they're going to chew you out, but you're ready for it. At the end of the day, what's done is done. You hear the ding of the notification that they're in the waiting room. With a sigh, you click to let them in. It takes a moment to connect, but when it does, you see a close up of your dad's forehead as he struggles to figure out how to use the Zoom, with your mom right behind him trying to coach. It's a miracle someone so business savvy to be so hopeless at technology. If it weren't for you being angry at them right now, you'd say they looked adorable. "Can you hear me?" You ask. "There, there- it's done," Your mom says, lightly hitting him on his shoulder to get him to sit down.
"H-How are you guys?" You ask, trying your best to sound casual. Your mom gives a tired smile, while your dad gives you, what seems to be, the silent treatment, "We're better now that we finally get to talk to you face to face," She leans forward a bit. "We?" You ask, glancing at your dad, "Doesn't seem like everybody on this call wants to be here." "Oh stop, we both want to be here. We miss you. We were just worried about the deal falling through and not being able to see the arrangement go the way we wanted it to." "Well, the deal went well. Far better than it would have if I'd used that original contract. I hope you both understand why I had to take things into my own hands." She nods slowly, "We...understand." We. We. We. "Dad? Is there anything you want to say?" He looks at you for a moment, and then crosses his arms and looks away. You purse your lips and nod, "Well, then there's nothing more to really say then, is there?" "Y/n-" Your mom begins to try to plead with you to stay but you're already putting your airpods back into the case, "I've got stuff to do before I go to dinner with the Jeon's. I'll text you later, mom." She looks genuinely sad, but you can't afford to let this call ruin the rest of your day, so you simply exit the meeting and slam your laptop closed.
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You pull up to the restaurant in the black car they'd sent for you, and as soon as you step out, you're in awe at the amount of people out and about. Lights everywhere, laughter, shouting- it's so much more alive than during the day. This location was such a good investment for the Jeons. You sling your mini purse over your shoulder and walk inside to the host's station. "Welcome to Juniper Two, do you have a reservation?" He asks. "Uhm yes, I'm with the Jeon party." "Ah yes, Mr.Jungkook has been expecting you. Right this way," He says, beginning to walk you to the back area where the tables are. Jungkook? He leads you to a table tucked away in a small corner, and there he is: sitting all alone, elbows on the table and playing with a piece of plastic, presumably from the straw in his drink. "Mr.Jungkook, your guest has arrived." Jungkook turns and he immediately stands to bow- though he does so in such an abrupt way, that he bangs his legs against the table, causing for everyone in your section to look over. You can see the blush in his cheeks as he bows profusely and apologetically, and you stifle a laugh. "Hello, Y/n," He says, looking a bit like a deer caught in the headlights. "Hello, Jungkook." "May I take your coat, Ma'am?" The host asks. You nod, "Yes, please." You slide it off with minimal effort, revealing a red dress with a slightly plunging sweatheart neckline, showing only the right amount of cleavage for what was supposed to be a family dinner. The host takes your coat and then pushes the chair in after you. "Are your parents running late?" You ask, leaning back in the chair. "Uhm, no- they won't be joining us at all tonight." "Oh?" "They thought it might be a good idea for us to...get to know each other better," He says, seeming quite different than the past few days: less aloof and more shifty. It's almost like it being just the two of you has him feeling...nervous. "Oh," You say, feeling slightly nervous yourself now. Way to apply the pressure. He nods slowly, "So..." "So..." You both sit in silence for almost an entire minute, trying so hard to think of what to say but it's like your own nerves are grabbing you by the throat and making it impossible. Finally, the waiter arrives with waters and it's almost like you both sigh in relief that there's something to distract you from the deafening silence. "Good evening, my name is Jimin, I'll be your server this evening. Will you be interested in hearing tonight's wine recommendations for tonight?" "Yes," You and Jungkook both say in unison, trying to delay making conversation just a bit longer. Jimin reads over the list of wines and then you motion toward Jungkook for him to pick since you're not much of a drinker yourself. He orders the wine as well as the appetizers, and then you're back to the silence.
After another minute, you can't take it anymore, "Okay, this is weird." He lets out a deep breath, "Super weird." "I just feel like it's like- a lot." He nods, "Yeah. I- I told my parents they should've come. I told them." "Well, it's not that- I think we just gotta start small, you know?" "What do you mean?" He asks, furrowing his brows. "Like...okay, what's your favorite color?" He scoffs, "You're asking me my favorite color? What are we, five?" "Just answer the question," You glare at him. "Black," He says without even a second's thought. "Black? Ugh, how boring." "Hey, you can't judge my answer- it's against the rules." "Rules? This isn't a game, there are no rules." "There are. It's like in school; there are no wrong answers. It's the rule," He says with a shrug. You snort and roll your eyes, "Alright, fine." "What's your favorite color? Dookie brown?" He asks, laughing slightly at his own stupid joke. "'Dookie brown? Now who's the five year old? My favorite color is..." You think for a moment, "pink." This time, he's the one to scoff, "Pink? Of all the colors for a girl to pick- don't you think pink is a little, you know, on the nose?" "Okay, and...? So I like to be cliche some times- sue me. And anyway, you just broke the rules." "I thought there were no rules," He says smugly, raising an eyebrow though you ignore him completely. "Alright next question-" You begin to say, though he interrupts you, "Hey, hey, hey- it's my turn." "No it isn't- you asked me what my favorite color is." "No, you asked me that, but you have to provide your answer as well. It's the second rule." "Okay, fine," You laugh. "What is your greatest phobia?" "Heights." "Damn, didn't even have to think about it, did you?" "Nope. Even on the way over to Korea, I felt queasy just glancing out of the window." "Wuss. Flying is easy work." "Okay then, what's your phobia, Mr.Tough Guy?" "I'd say the only thing I'm afraid of- with scientific backing, might I add- is a microwave." There's a moment of silence as you register what he's just said. You need the time to process it because you're not sure he really just said something so goofy. "Microwaves," You echo, an incredulous tone in your voice, "And I'm the wuss?" You burst out laughing.
An hour so goes by and you've both gotten halfway through you food and almost an entire bottle of wine. You're laughing, cracking jokes, keeping it lighthearted and it really feels like the night is turning out to be quite pleasant- which you never thought you'd say about time spent with Jungkook. "Alright, how old were you when you had your first boyfriend?" He asks, raising a brow at you. You take another sip of your wine, cheeks getting hot from embarrassment. You have always hated this question... "Pass." He blinks a few times, "Pass? Like, you pass the question?" You nod, giving a sheepish smile. "Nope. Against the rules," He says, crossing his arms. "Oh, come on- enough with the rules." "Nope, without rules there is no rhyme or reason- it'll be chaos," He says exaggeratedly, "And besides, if we're literally gonna be married, I have to know this question." "This question, specifically?" You scoff. "Yup, quite important information. Might be on the test," He shrugs. You swish the last bit of wine in your mouth before finally swallowing, "Alright, I...I've never... I've never had a boyfriend."
For a moment, there's only silence as Jungkook is now the one to process your answer. "Never?" "Nope," You laugh nervously. "But how?" He asks. "What do you mean how?" "I mean, you're educated, successful, pretty-" It's like the words catch in his throat as he says them, because he abruptly stops talking, but his mouth hangs open. You smirk, "Go on, don't stop." "I- I- don't start getting a big head," His face flushes and he immediately reaches for his wine glass. You laugh, "It's not that I can't get a boyfriend, it's that I... I never wanted to get attached to anyone, because of..." You trail off, though he nods his head, knowing exactly what you're referring to, "I just never wanted to hurt anyone or to get hurt, myself, when it would have to end." "I...I understand." "Have you ever?" "Oh yeah, like seven of 'em." Of course. "Any of them serious?" You ask, the picture you'd seen of him and that model girl, Lisa, pops into your mind. He whirls the wine in his glass and looks away, "Nah, none of them." You narrow your eyes at him, taking in his avoidant expression. You know he's lying but you decide not to press. He stretches out, his long arms seeming to never end as he reaches upward. You check the time and figure he's probably going to end dinner here. "You wanna go take a walk to get dessert?" He asks. He's caught you by surprise with his invitation, though it's definitely a pleasant surprise. "Sure."
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The distance from the restaurant to the ice cream parlor is only a short walk away. The air is nice and cool, which is perfect because you've completely forgotten your coat at the restaurant. "You'll love this place, it's great," He says excitedly. It's a cute, tiny-house looking parlor: pretty flowers planted alongside it, with a walk-up window for customers where a short line is already formed. The atmosphere is quite nice, string of outdoor lights hang over an area with wooden picnic tables. You approach the line that is now only one person long. "Which flavor are you getting?" You ask. "Red bean. It is, hands down, the best ice cream flavor." You purse your lips, "Agree to disagree." "Agree to disagree? Are you insane? I'm almost willing to bet you're gonna order something super basic like 'cookies and cream'," He scoffs, mimicking a high-pitched female voice. "Try mint-chip." "Mint chip? That's somehow worse." "Next!"
You carry your ice cream cones to one of the nearby tables, sitting across from each other, and it isn't until you settle in that you realize that his ice cream is almost finished. "Dude, it's been two minutes since we got these- how are you already almost finished?" You ask, your full cone still looking perfectly round after a few licks. He shrugs, "I'm just a fast eater, I guess." He then proceeds to take a bite of the ice cream. You're horrified. "You bite your ice cream?" "You don't?" He asks. "I'm not a monster, Jungkook." "Oh shut up," He laughs. Another silence falls, though it's much different from the silence from earlier when you'd first sat down at dinner; it's a comfortable silence, like when you'd sat together at the bar that night. "Did your dad threaten bodily harm on you when my dad told him about the contract changes?" "No," You laugh, "I mean, he isn't speaking to me right now. but that's about it." You feel a little sting in your heart at the thought. "How do you feel about that?" He asks, his face falling slowly from a smile to a more serious expression. You think for a moment, contemplating whether or not to answer honestly. "I'm fine," You shrug. "You're lying." "I'm not- Okay, fine. I am. I just...I don't know how to talk about that." "About what? Your parents?" "Yeah..." "Me either," He sighs, "I could write books about the multitude of issues I have with them." "Same... I just...don't really know where the issues came from, I mean- we used to be so close and then it's like, once I hit my teen years, he got more and more..." "Distant?" He finishes. You nod. "Yeah...seems to be a common theme in both our dad's personalities, huh?" He snorts, taking a bite of his cone. "Guess that's why they're besties," You sigh. "Do you think maybe your dad-" Jungkook begins, though he's interrupted by a male voice coming up from behind you. "Jungkook!"
You both turn to see a tall, slender, dark-haired guy coming up to your table. Jungkook's face goes from fairly relaxed to visibly more tense. "Jungkook-a, where you been at?" They say, giving each other that lazy handshake that all 'bros' do. "Eh, you know. Been here and there," Jungkook says. "And how is this?" The guy asks, a sly smile growing on his face. "This? This is- this is my- my uhm," Jungkook struggles to get the words out. Understandably so, as it feels strange to call each other anything other than your first names, at this point in time- though it does bother you just a tiny bit. "I"m Y/n, nice to meet you...?" "Seokjin. Kim Seokjin," He says, swiftly grabbing your hand and giving the back of it a kiss, "at you service." Jungkook rolls his eyes, an annoyed expression visible to you even behind his fake smile. "What are you up to tonight, Jin," Jungkook asks, his feeble attempts at conversation working, though only on Seokjin. "You know me, always out on the prowl," He smiles, glancing at you once more. It's in that moment that you smell it- the distant aroma of booze, masked under whatever cologne this guy's wearing. "Are you drunk?" Jungkook asks, face twisting slightly in disapproval. "Not at all. Just a little...buzzed, is all." Right after he says this, he stumbles slightly, "Buzzed, my ass," Jungkook sighs, taking his phone out of his pocket. "Aw, don't do it," Seokjin whines, though it's lost on you as to why. "I have to." "Aw man," Literal tears start to fall out of his eyes. What the hell is happening?
Only about ten minutes go by, and a black car is pulling up at the curb by where you're all sitting. Seokjin has been leaning on Jungkook's shoulder, switching back and forth between mumbling and crying. The door to the car swings open, and out steps a very beautiful woman: heart-shaped face, shapely legs, and long hair draped over her shoulder like some kind of Rapunzel. These girls only exist in music videos, how is this even possible? "Jin! Get your ass in the car, right now!" The woman yells. "I'm sorry baby," Seokjin cries. "Don't 'I'm sorry' me. Get inside." "Rosie, baby, please. I wasn't gonna do anything, I promise. I was just having a little fun." "Like I believe that crock of shit," She scoffs. By this point, everyone's looking over at all four of you, though Jungkook seems completely unfazed. Almost like he's used to this. Seokjin looks like a lamb headed for slaughter as he walks over to the car and gets in. She slams his door shut and then walks over to where you and Jin are. "Thanks for letting me know," She says to Jungkook with a sigh. She sees you standing next to him, but just looks you up and down without a word- like she's sizing you up. You're immediately on guard, staring her down right back. "No problem," He says simply, "Don't bring him to my party." "Oh stop Jungkook, he's my boyfriend. I can't not bring him- he won't get fucked up." "Yes he will, and I'm not having him puking on people like he did on New Years." "He won't drink. I'll make sure of it," She says, about to turn around though before she does, she turns to look at Jungkook, "Oh, and Lisa says for you to text her back," She glances at you and you swear you see a smirk on her face. Jungkook doesn't respond; just looks away with a lazy nod.
When you both sit back down, Jungkook is quiet- like he's lost in thought. "So...who's Lisa?" You ask, pretending to be completely oblivious. "She's...just a mutual friend between Rosé and I." Again, it seems like a topic he'd rather avoid. "Alrighty..." You say, pursing your lips. "You don't with your ice cream?" He asks, pointing to your now half-eaten cone. "Oh, yeah." He takes it and walks over to thee trash can nearby. "Ready to go?" "Yeah, I am." You're not sure what happened but the vibe is different. Completely off from what it was before Seokjin walked up earlier. "We'll take the sam car- I'm staying at the hotel tonight," He says. You nod, "Alright."
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Initially, the car ride is quiet too, though after only a few minutes, it seems like Jungkook loosens up again. "So, what's the verdict?" He asks. You furrow your brows, "On...?" "On me. Am I...marriage material," He smirks. You chuckle, "Oh, we'll have to keep seeing about that." "Will we, now?" He reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a little pink box with a very pretty white bow. "What's this?" You ask. "Just open it," He says with a gentle smile, handing you the box. You swallow hard, taking it from his hand and slowly removing the lid. Why is your heart beating so fast?
When you finally see what's inside, you gasp. Sat in a little white cushion is a delicate gold ring, an oval cut diamond in the center with smaller diamons surrounding it. It might just be the most beautiful ring you've ever seen. "Am I marriage material now?" He asks, his expression soft as he watches you admire the ring. "Jungkook- where did you get this?" "It was my grandmother's ring. You look at him, "Jungkook, I can't accept this. This is too- too grand. A family heirloom," You protest. He shakes his head, "It's nothing, really. My parents saved it for me for when I get married, and we're already pretty much there. And I...didn't feel right not giving you an engagement ring." You could cry, honestly. It's beautiful and completely unexprected. "Thank you so much, Jungkook. I- I really do love it."
After twenty minutes, you pull up to the hotel, both of you stepping out of the car and walking into the lobby. Inside the elevator, you turn to him, "I had a nice time, Mr.Jeon." "I did too...Mrs.Jeon," He says, and for some insane reason, hearing him call you that sends your stomach doing flips. You look away, hiding your blush, though he doesn't seem to notice. When you finally pull up to your floor, you both step out of the elevator, though he stays standing just outside of it. "Alright, well...good night," You say, giving him a sort of awkward wave, to which he laughs, "Good night, Y/n." You walk down to the end of the hall and when you approach your door, you slide the card key in. When you look back, you see he's still standing there, watching to make sure you're in. You wave once more, and he nods and heads into the elevator, and then you close your door behind you.
Once inside, you feel almost like you're floating on a cloud. You look down at your hand and can't help but smile. Oh, how easy it is to get carried away and forget that none of this organic....but is it so bad to dream?
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invisibleraven · 1 year
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Compliment prompt 100, reggie pair of your choice!
The first time Reggie uses his powers, he's a baby.
MeeMaw was trying to feed him, and making ridiculous faces in some vain attempt to shove the spoon into his mouth. Only to reel back in fear and shock as her infant grandson was now wearing her face, right down to the mole above her left eyebrow.
He changed back moments later, giggling and content to play with the pureed yams rather than be fed them, and Chavla took a moment to ensure she hadn't been seeing things. She decides not to say anything-just in case.
The next time is during a game of hide and seek with his cousin Jeb, and Reggie is desperate not to be the first one found. The big kids had claimed he was too much of a baby to play with them, only allowing him to join after MeeMaw gave them her patented glare. So he thinks really hard about how to hide and suddenly, he's a rock.
At first he almost vibrates with glee, knowing there's no way in tarnation that he's gonna get found first now. But then he starts to panic.
What if he doesn't get found at all?
What if he can't change back?
What if Jeb picks him up to throw at the gulls like he does sometimes?
Reggie is back to himself after that, shaking and crying, unable to really tell anyone why he's so upset, and latches himself to his grandmother's side for the rest of the day.
He's a lot more careful about his thoughts after that.
Especially after his mom finds out.
She's scrubbing his face after a fun afternoon of mud pies and sighs as she takes in his red cheeks, thumbing over the warm skin. "I don't know where this rosacea comes from. Certainly not my side of the family," Evelynn said. "Wish there was a way to get rid of it, you'd be the handsomest little man."
Reggie so wants his mother to think highly of him, and hey, this is a flaw he can fix right? So he wills his skin milky pale, the mottled redness melting away, and his mother gasps when he offers her a smile.
At first she tries to use it to gain, but even Reggie's power has it's limits. He can only hold a different shape for a few minutes at a time, and panic makes him instantly revert. Changes to his own appearance seem to last, slipping away as he sleeps, but otherwise his skin stays pale unless he blushes.
Then it becomes a million different comments, about how he looks, things he can fix. Evelynn can enter him into modelling with that, and does.
Reggie hates it.
Hates the heavy feeling of make up on his face, but doesn't dare change his appearance in noticeable ways around strangers. Hates having to stay still as they pin and hem clothes around his slim frame. Hates the mindless hours of standing still, of smiling until his face aches, of always being hungry because they never let him eat on set and his mom sometimes forgets to feed him.
It keeps going for years.
Reggie learns to adjust himself to keep his acne from ever showing up outside of his room. Letting his growth spurt be a little exaggerated so his mom never finds out he'll never be over 5'8, since male models must be at least six feet tall. Gives himself muscles that he knows he doesn't have thanks to years of near starvation. Erases the dark circles under his eyes because he spends his nights catching up on homework and listening to his parents fight over anything and everything.
It all comes to a head when he passes out from exhaustion on a shoot.
He wakes up in the hospital, an IV in his arm, and the photographer from the shoot sitting at his bedside. He's worked with Ray Molina a bunch of times by now, and the man had always been kind to him. Talking to him about how cameras worked, about movies he enjoyed, about his son's baseball team. Always slipping Reggie a cookie or a juice box when his mom wasn't looking.
"Wh-What happened?" Reggie croaks, and Ray almost jumps from the chair before sitting back down and offering him a cup of water.
"You fainted mijo."
"Is everyone mad?" Reggie asks, whisper quiet and ashamed.
"More so concerned about you," Ray replies. "Especially since..."
Reggie glances down at the bed, and finally notices that he's shrunk. Bets if he looked in a mirror his skin would be flaming and spotty. He wants to shrink in on himself, and almost does when he thinks about what his mom is gonna say. "I changed didn't I?"
"You did," Ray replies. "How long have you been able to do that?"
Reggie shrugs. "My whole life?"
"And how long have you been changing yourself to make other people happy?" Ray asks, looking right in Reggie's eyes.
Reggie sniffles in response, which is really all the answer Ray needs. "Well, I have to say, I like this version a lot more."
"At least someone does," Reggie replies. "Mom..."
"Hey, no," Ray says, gripping his hand. "You're perfect just the way you are. Don't let anyone else tell you different." He smiles at Reggie, then lowers his voice, as if sharing a secret. "There is nothing I would change about you."
"N-nothing?" Reggie asks.
"Well, maybe just one thing," Ray ammends.
Reggie deflates. Of course he still isn't good enough. But then Ray squeezes his hand once more, forcing Reggie to meet his eyes.
"The only thing I would change is that you had a parent who loves you and is happy to let you be yourself-no matter what that looks like," Ray says.
The next little bit is full of Ray telling him why he's there instead of Reggie's mom, and it involves words like 'social worker' and 'child endangerment' and 'custody of the state' being thrown around. It involves a lot of uncomfortable talks about his parents. About how much they changed him-or made him change-to suit their own needs.
In the end, he ends up going to stay with Ray and his family. They seem to like him just the way he is, even if Carlos does delight when he can mimic people on the TV with his powers. But Rose encourages him to stay as he is, to finally be Reggie-au naturel for a change.
He finds that suits him just fine.
Plus, Ray's daughter Julie and her boyfriend Luke seem to find him plenty cute just as he is, and well, the feeling is mutual. So he doesn't need to change for people to love him.
He still has to work on loving himself some days, but with his new family, his partners, and a good therapist behind him, Reggie eventually gets to a better place.
And he never uses his powers again.
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the0ldmann · 1 year
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Been a lil' bit since I posted anything. Hope I just formatted this right. Not much of anything other than fluff, really. But oh well.
Brief flashback of adults being dicks to each other in front of a kid, and a throwaway line implying they were dicks to said kid.
As always, lemme know what you think- I super appreciate comments. Also this is an 18+ fandom so minors and ageless blogs will be blocked.
---
.
.
.
.
Snow.
Soft.
Quiet.
Blinding.
Pure...
They always had a love-hate relationship with snow.
It was gorgeous and gentle, blanketing the land and putting everything to rest.
Sleep... Sleep and only resume work when the warmth of Spring comes to rouse you from my slumber...
The snows of winter slowed down time and society. It wasn't a bad thing, to them. So much as a moment of peace was hard to come by in the hustle and bustle of modern life, every second to stop and stand still was worth holding onto.
But if your home was a prison, well...
"Daryl! Daryl it's snowin' again! Driveway's gonna need shovelled and you know I can't do it with my bad back... Daryl are you even listening?"
They flicked the little stick they held between their fingers.
"Goddamnit woman, for the hundreth time I heard you! I'm gonna do it once it stops snowing, now let me get back to watching the game! Ain't  no point to shovelin' if it's still gettin' buried right now..."
It was the same argument they had every year before. Snow piled so high they were stuck at home, not able to go out and see any of their friends. As they brough the stick up to their mouth and held it there, they figured the argument probably wasn't any different this year either.
Daryl was an ass and their mom was an enabler. Fucked up as it was and as miserable as they were, there was something almost nostalgic about it. They wouldn't live through it again willingly, but at this moment in time, they almost found themselves missing those two they used to call family...
Or were they missing what they wished could have been?
"Sunshine, the cookies are almost done! Are you just about ready to come decorate?"
And then there was Sunny Day Jack, his cheery voice breaking through their thoughts. They looked up just as he poked his head around the doorway.
The sweater he was wearing was as garish as his usual outfit, but it looked cozy and warm compared to the frosted window they were leaning up against.
His eyes narrowed at the sight of the stick in their hands and a brief look of panic flashed across his face. However he was quick to compose himself and stumble out a question.
"Uh, haha, Sunspot what uh... What do you got there?"
They cocked their head, holding the stick higher up, as if they were trying to wave with a lit cigarette in hand.
"You mean this thing?"
"Yeah, what is that?"
"It's just a stick."
Confusion.
"A... stick?"
"Eeyup."
"Why are you holding it so... questionably though? Were you a smoker? Why didn't you tell me? I can help you if you ever have the urge to pick up again, there's no need to go back to bad habits... O-or to start them either! You're not thinking of picking up-"
They waved their hand.
"Jack, shush. I've never smoked and I've no plans too. My childhood caretakers smoked enough around me to last me a lifetime. Just... Something about the motions feels familiar and calming. That's all."
A frown. They knew it wasn't going to be that easy to put his mind at rest.
"Do you not believe me, Jack?"
"N-no, that's not it at all Sunshine! It was... very concerning to see is all. I'm still uh, processing."
They weren't convinced by his words, but they offered him a small smile anyway. Putting the stick down, they stood to approach him.
"The snow just has me thinking a little too much about the past, that's all. C'mon," they patted his chest and then leaned in close. "You said something about decorating cookies?"
If they couldn't ease his worries right now, then the least they could do was distract him.
It seemed to work as he lit right back up and wrapped an arm around their shoulders.
"Ah, yes, the cookies! They're going to need to cool, but that shouldn't take long. Let's make some hot chocolate and we can drink that while we decorate."
They flipped the light switch off as they left the room. Casting a quick glance back as they did so, they could still make the stick's tiny shape out on the windowsill.
Jack was always going on about plans for the future, even if the future he was planning for wasn't more than a month out. There was always something to look forward to with him.
Perhaps that stick was part of a past best left behind...
They'd figure out what to do with it tomorrow though. This evening was for cookies.
Jack's back was turned to them as he got the hot chocolate going. Swiping a bit of icing from one of the bowls, they walked up to tap him on the shoulder. He turned around, only to be met with a poke to the nose that left it smeared with aforementioned stolen confectionery product.
"Heehee, I got you back for getting me with the melted chocolate last week!"
Jack's grin was wide as he gave them a quick kiss, leaving them speechless.
Yeah, this was certainly worth thinking about more than some stuffy old house with a couple of miserable chainsmokers. Let them be miserable. Happiness was right here, in the warm glow of a Sunny Day.
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dale-b-cooper-fbi · 10 months
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Do you have any advice for always staying kind to others? I want to be a good person so badly
Anon, I can't offer much advice on this. Now I've seen how people treat compleat strangers, and how they treat family. I've heard stories of pure horror of how people are treated, and I'm sure you have to.
The only real advice I can give, is treat eveyone as innocent as a baby kitten. Treat them with warmth and kindness, and never judge their words or looks. Actions? Yes but only to a degree.
Granted I work for the Bureau, and had my fair share of seeing very....bad things, and I've seen .y fair share of all kinds of people.
But the local goth, or punk, isn't going to hurt you, ans a nice little wave and a good morning/evening/ or night will make anyone's day!
You see Anon, if you "Try hard/force" yourself to be extra kind you can come off as weird, or not genuine, and you must rember not everyday can you be kind, sometimes you are simply snippy.
But don't ever, ever make fun of someone's looks, their overall aperence, assume things about them, and not evey little thing needs to be reported.
I find some of the lowest forms of insults can come form how a person dresses or looks, even acts. I've gotten some of my best leads from punk dressing kids who probably hated me but after some convincing I get the leads.
I've gotten some amazing help and assistance from people who look like they've walked right out of an old Gothic horror film, and they are some of the nicest people.
I've also had so meny other experiences, but I can't stand people who make comments or assumptions about people based on aperance alone.
A good example is Sam Stanley. He dresses smart, he tends to be relatively put together, and yet he is very much falling apart. Right now he dresses more cozy and comfy able, and his hair has grown a good amount, but he's still clean shaven.
You'd assume a lot about Sam, but something I can happily say is if you liked his look, simply compliment it. "I like the bow tie/the sweater/the glasses/other" or "Your hair is very pretty what do you use?" Is weirdly common for Sam to get.
Another example was me in collage, I had to have suits for dress code and Bureau work. I had about 100$ to my name and was struggling severely with so so much and didn't know things. People always thought I could afford things, and it made me devastated.
I lived off an extramly cheap and unhealthy diet of stale donuts, coffee, and junkfood.
And any food I could grab and save...
My point is Anon, people present, and look all kinds of ways, and if you want to be a genuinely kind human, just be nice. Don't assume things. Give tiny random compliments if you feel like it. And help someone out if you feel its safe to.
Don't assume everyone on a bike is dealing drugs, don't assume everyone in black with a backpack is sketchy, don't assume the local goths witchy person is doing blood sacrifices.
I'm not joking theses are real things people say and it's disgusting, more so than milk with a little bit of coffee, or two week old pie, horrible horrible horrible.
To simply put it, and wrap this lesson up Anon, it's Okey if you get snippy but curve your words. Some people have bad days but a simple complement can brighten it up. A little help even if it's picking something up for someone, can make an ever lasting impression on them.
You wouldn't want people to assume anything about you correct? So don't do it with others. Don't belitle others for simply existing, don't push others, don't be rude for no reason, simply be nice.
At the end of the day, your human, and as is everyone else, and at the end of it all people go back to the earth, and turn into dirt and food for the animals.
Make your time and eveyone else's time here sweet and safe. Make safe spots for eveyone, and simply be kind from your heart.
There's so meny people on this earth Anon, and so much to do, you can't alwsy be kind and this wonderful person belive me, but you can however try to give a little smile and a wave, give a good morning, and a little complment, and a little bit of help.
Belive me, those things go further and further than anything you'd ever belive, and leading a shoulder or an ear to someone can go the furthers for anyone ever, and overall support to people helps.
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0thsense · 10 months
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5/30/2023
Go ahead, put anything. okay tumblr. I want to develop my life. I want to upgrade myself. The path to physical upgrade is so clear.. go to the gym, do cardio, etc. The path to other upgrades? not so clear. Should I flesh out my frameworks of living? do I just choose one even though I'm not sure of anything? I have no direction in life. I want to create something beautiful. If I create one beautiful thing.. well I can't make any promises. to myself. I wonder if everybody feels about their soul in the same way. Does everyone feel that they have something uniquely pure and beautiful to offer to the world. It's probably all a delusion, but thinking that way feels like my soul will just die. I'm just rambling about things that make no sense. Everybody has different definitions for these things so communicating about them is really hard. I guess the human brain is hardwired to think in terms of cause and effect, which makes us ask "why am i here". but for that we can't find a meaningful answer, so we have to decide on an answer, and that's really hard. I sometimes think I should just decide on something just to try it out, but for these things you can't just "try it out", it'll never work unless you fully believe in it. Is that something that other people have done that I'm missing? that leap of faith to just believe in some purpose? I guess from a religious perspective maybe but what about non-religious people? I guess there's less pressure to answer this question if you naturally life effectively in society anyways, since you don't need the additional motivation. I always feel like I need additional information to answer this question and I don't have the drive to gather this additional information. Gathering this additional information means trying really hard at things for like a year.
I also feel like I'm not maturing because my life experience does not give me new insights. I could try to read books and ponder on them, but I feel like that results in incorrect and shallow conclusions, even if the books are good. Did I mature from playing omori? I probably felt the strongest emotions from playing Omori in my whole life the last 2-3 years. Maybe I forgot something, which feels increasingly common.
Due to the earth's rejection of my autistic self and my waning self-confidence, im trying to be a normie. I suck at socially interacting in a normie way. I miss when I could just say whatever was on my mind and people respected me enough to take me seriously. I feel like there's a ball of thoughts in my head that only make full sense in context of the entire ball, and it's impossible to write that whole ball so it's impossible to communicate this whole ball. That makes me scared to share any one part of this ball.
I finished reading The Road, and im reading oyasumi punpun right now. I want to write something on the things I read which affect me so I never forget. I should write something about Omori now, as my memory of it continues to wane. I'm so scared of doing all these things like reading, etc. and just not making any progress towards anything. One main purpose of reading is I want to be exposed to different views and ways of thinking, and I can't tell if thats happening. I recognized value in The Handmaid's Tale but I probably got like 5% of what the author was trying to put across. And I never wrote my thoughts on it. I guess I should do that too. I think I'm pretty initially dismissive these days. I try to lump lines of thinking into things I've thought of before, and by and large most of the time I find a way to lump a new thing into something thats close. This makes me lose those crucial insights that lie in the difference between what I already know and the new thing. My brain automatically does this through years of practice. I need to be more vigilant in carefully considering everything with no biases and no assumption that I already know what it is.
I think my dad was a lucky genetic freak in our family tree. I'm reverting to the expected outcome of my gene pool. My cousins are doing okay but not that well. Compared to other smart people, who have much stronger family lineups. The more research is done, the more people realize how hereditary most things are. I am a weird concoction, and so are most people. And we will never fully know the wonders of each others' mixes. I'm thinking it's likely that I'm part of the last human generation, mostly because of AI. I am deathly scared and think about what an AI singularity scenario will look like, but it's hard to predict. There will be nowhere to run, we will just be ants. Hopefully we will be useful to our new overlords. Maybe they will care about us and treat us humanely. Humanely is such a weird term, treating non-humans humanely is a good thing right!
I had something else I wanted to write. Oh yea pretending to be happy is hard. And it's a vicious cycle. I'm less valuable in every way if I present as unhappy. Sorry everyone.
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As much as I believe Vlad to be an iredeemable asshole in cannon, I like the idea of a begrudging mentor Vlad. Like, say in an alternate universe everything starts of the same but he's not got some evil plan to kill Jack and marry Maddie. He's bitter and resents them for turning him into this abomonation, resents them for being happy when he can't, he tries to stay connected, but he just can't stand being near them and fears their reaction to his ghost side. (1/3)
(2/3) He takes advantage of his new powers, he steals and cheats his way to power, living life lavishly, but it doesn't make him happy, none of it fills the emptiness in his heart. He spends most of his life miserable up until one day he invites the Fenton's on a whim, perhaps in some desperate attempt to find happiness again, where he meets Danny. It goes similarly how it went in the show, Vlad discovers he is a halfa like him, see's how his parents treat him... ~ ~ ~ i think part 3 got eaten, bro, but i'm gonna work with what i got.
Vlad sees this kid who's like him who's parents still talk about killing ghosts and destroying them in front of him. not knowing that they're threatening Vlad. that they're threatening their own son. he see's these so called scientist haven't learned anything about ghosts in the years that they've been estranged and that they've managed to make the same mistake twice.
and he see Danny, a moody teenager, going through the traumatic process of dying and gaining hard to control powers on top of being a highschooler and social pariah. he sees this kid in desperate need of guidance and sees his parents who are neglectful and unaware of a fact he learned within a day of knowing Danny. and he says, "if you can't handle the responsibility of having a kid, he's mine now." yoink
except, obviously, he's really, really bad at it. being a mentor, winning Danny over, being a good person. all of it.
initially he just straight up offers to help Danny learn his powers and that works, Danny agrees, because Vlad isn't trying to kill danny's parents or attacking him, or stalking them, so Danny has no reason not to accept the help. Vlad seems okay for all his rich guy eccentricities.
but then the lessons actually start and danny realizes. oh. this guy has no idea how to teach. and oh this guy has the moral compass of a rotary fan. and Danny initially goes with it. in canon danny's can be swayed by petty stuff and money up to a point. he can let a lot of shit go and is even willing to do some soft crime if he thinks it's for the right reasons. and Vlad might beat him up when trying to teach him to fight, but that's part of training, right? and he might be changing a little under Vlad's influence but danny doesn't see that as a bad thing, until Sam and tucker basically call him out and he accidentally hurts one of them. something that Vlad had told him to do.
so danny bails. basically confronts Vlad and tells him he's a shitty mentor and that he's gonna peace out. suck eggs, fruit loop.
but Vlad had thought things were going well. he's gotten attached. he doesn't want to go back to being alone and he and danny are the only two of their species in the world. so typical villain/stalker stuff happens between them for a bit. Vlad tries to win danny over with money, with manipulation, with blackmail. and Danny isn't having it. (he has blackmail on Vlad too). Vlad is growing increasingly desperate and looks and acts a mess. this is a vulnerable Vlad. we're not getting well kept always cocky and put together except when danny embarrasses him Vlad. we're getting a pathetic man trying to cling to the only human(ish) connection he has and slowly falling further into depression and insanity.
and Danny pities him. because Danny had that human connection too. in the early days before he decided he got to see vlad's dorky and cool side. Vlad was generous with his money. vlad only swears in food. he lights up when he watches a packers game and is a total fanboy.
and Danny kinda gets how he became like this. how his isolation and loneliness and fear drove him further and further down the road of corruptness and evil. Danny learns what he would become without his friends and if anything Vlad is better than that. it's almost similar to how he is with val. he understands where she's coming from and sees that she's a good person even if her actions have taken a turn in the wrong direction. he feels the same about Vlad. he thinks maybe he can convince Vlad to be better.
so redemption arc/reverse mentor relationship because danny is gonna be trying to teach Vlad how to stop being a fruit loop and start making some friends his own age. the comedy potential of that is amazing. i have the mental image of Danny convincing vlad to go on a date with Harriet Chin and coaching him from behind her even though he has next to no dating experience either. pure shenanigans.
i also see there being several back and forth instances of kidnapping. Vlad locks Danny in his house because he doesn't want to be alone (Danny eventually escapes and gets mad. Vlad learns never to do that again). Danny kidnaps Vlad to be a chaperone at a school event, mostly to get Vlad to lie for him. another time Vlad kidnaps danny to go to a rich person party because he said he had a kid in a pathetic attempt to make a friend (moral of the episode is lying to make friends doesn't work) so he just has Danny pose as his son that whole episode and they're trying to get along and seem happy, meanwhile snipping at each other in whispers. they think no one is buying that they're related but ironically them arguing at the end of the night is one convinces the person they're family. "me and my daughter would fight all the time, especially at events she didn't want to come to." probably muddies the moral but that's common enough in dp.
just gradually develops into a weird redeemed uncle/mentor dynamic. Vlad really isn't teaching Danny much. he still occasionally has his moments to shine with explaining new powers and showing danny how to commit tax fraud or lie to the police. but he's mostly just this weird guy who's first friend in twenty years is a teenager.
- Hestia
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saturnsstufff · 3 years
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Epolouge: The Empress
Warnings: slight NSFW
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"Thena, sweetie, you can't play with that-" Techno warned to his child, moving the wrapped sword away from her tiny hands.
"But Daddy- you said you'd teach me!"
As Athena got older it was obvious she shown sides of taking after her father. Her curiosity in weaponry, speech, and body language told you that much. But, to be honest, you didn't mind.
You would admit, after being away from the toxicity of the empire, and the people it entailed, life was much simpler, and way more humble. It was homey, something far more than the large palace was. Instead of large marble floors, tall lengthy walls, and perfect matching fabrics, the cozy cottage home Techno and you built was made of warm, strong logs, wooden floors that gave off a warm glow, mismatched blankets and curtains that hung with care, showing they were frequently opened and closed. It was perfect for your small family. You adored it.
After the fall of your kingdom and the near escape you all had, life was hard to adjust to. Techno was distant, scared he would lash out at you again like he did in the library. You wanted to tell him it was ok, that it was a terrible misunderstanding between the communication, and the people holding the letters. Yet, the way he grabbed you still had you hesitant. You could still remember the first few months within the tundra.
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Your eyes watched the brute cut more logs. The way he moved the axe, you wouldn't have expected him to be a once prestigious emperor. Instead he looked like a boy far past his years- someone overly exhausted.
The baby in your arms was easily fast asleep. Warm and cozy from the near fireplace, and if that wasn't enough, her mothers arms and chest opted as a warm cushioned resting place.
The past month was hard, both mentally and physically. Between the tension techno and you had, and the fear of Athena getting too cold from no true shelter, you both were at your wit's end. Thankfully Techno and Phil worked to built a small shelter. Something you could rest Thena in, well the three of you worked to build a more suitable home for a family.
The rocking chair you were seated in offered a soothing place to think back on it, of course your thought's were disrupted when Tech walked back inside the home. Logs over his shoulder for the fire, not wanting it to die out and bring the tundra chill into the home.
"Did she fall asleep finally?..." he asked softly, setting the logs down. Although he walked over to the two of you, he didn't rub his finger on her cheek like he normally would, he probably had sap on his hands from the wood. Something that was now normal.
Your smile came easy to his tone "yeah, she zoned out pretty quickly after she ate. You were right about rice cereal, she's not as hungry anymore" your eyes went up to meet with his. His smile was just as gentle as yours. "Where did you even hear about it?"
"I was curious if it would... I was trading in the village and I herd it from a elderly woman" he explained, moving to the sink to wash his hands off.
Your curiosity perked at this.
"You did?"
He hummed and wondered back, sitting on the couch, still respecting the space you wished. Just because you two were married didn't mean it was all sunshine and rainbows. Things were still healing, you still got weary around his touch after the library incident, and he was still blaming himself for the years you were alone. He didn't feel like you could forgive him so easily- he knew you shouldn't.
"Mhm. She saw me looking at a small plush and rattle. She asked if I had any children or if they were for a friend... I explained I had a fussy infant... she kind of laughed and told me a few ways to avoid it..." his cheeks went pink as he glanced away.
It was easy to believe Sarah tampered with the letters, the tech in the letters was cold and distant about children. Where the one you laid with every night cooed, and played with his daughter, eager to show her the world. One thing he did for her almost made you break down in tears.
Due to fleeing for your lives, Athena no longer had toys, blankets, or anything she needed. She even lost her plush, the one she slept with every night. When she was particularly fussy one night, you explained to techno why. Of course he was saddened too, he didn't wanna hear his little girl cry, no parent did. So the next day he found some scrap fabric and sewed together a small Pig for her. You would always remember how eagerly she pulled it into her arms.
In the end. It was easy to see Technoblade was a family man.
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When night time rolled around, you were thinking back on all the nights techno held you close. After his return you both slept with a bit of distance between you. The first night you both were tightly within each other's arms, too scared to loose each other again. But after that something about laying tightly like everything was ok didn't feel right. So the two of you kept a bit of distance, easily a hands reach away if needed.
Tonight however, you wanted tech to hold you. You wanted old times back, the endless giggles, the warm arms, slight smirks, his nose in your neck content with life. You missed it so much.
So when Techno crawled into bed, you fallowed in suit, but instead of crossing over him for your place by the wall, you sat atop straddling his waist. The action alone was enough to make him pink, and curious. His hands didn't rest on your hips, rather you guided them to rest there yourself, showing it was ok for him to touch you.
You could feel how hesitant he was. He didn't want to scare you, drive you away farther than you already were.
"Princess... what are you doing?" He asked softly, admiring your form above him, dearly missing the sight deep down.
"Tech I miss you... I miss you holding me, making love to me, whispering how much you love me... I miss how close we were..." you said slightly pained.
He drew a slight breath, the air coming out shaky. "Darlin'- Princess... look... I miss it too... But I hurt you... I accused you of sleeping with Orion, i also assumed you hated me... It made me draw my sword to you... it made me Grab you-" he was cut off by you.
"And I forgive you... it's in the past... we can move forward... I mean... I'm assuming you wouldn't do it again..." you said slowly, watching him discard your hips for your hands.
"Ill never raise a hand, or blade to you again... never again... God's I love you too much to even think of hurting you like I could have... Your all I have..." he said softly, tearing up slowly. Thinking back on it, he hated how he acted, he was hurt and took it out in rage, he took it out on the one person who endlessly loved him.
After talking out how you two truly felt, you tried to make love again, the action felt odd, yet long awaited, Both of you desperate to feel one another after so long without each other, but sadly when Tech moved you under him, you watched his eyes well with tears before he fully broke down in tears.
Their may have not been physical intimacy shared, yet the wounds of words, and actions began to slowly heal, and it all started with techno burring his face into your chest, his sobs drowned out by the wild wind outside the cabin.
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Your thoughts were shaken from your mind as you watched your daughter try to charm tech into teaching her sword play.
"You promised!" She said, hoping it would budge the stubborn Brute.
"Yeah, well I promised your mother a new ring too and all she got was another one of you-" he said scooping Thena up into his arms, holding her upside down to get her to laugh.
"Yeah well she can take Ares back! I don't want a brother!" Thena said, sounding like she meant it. "He’s annoying and he always cries at night" she explained, finding her reasoning good enough.
"It sounds like you when you were his size" you said with a smile, stepping up beside your husband, almost eye level with your child. "Ares is young, he'll grow up and get quite darling. Crying is his only way of communicating he needs something" you explained, moving your head so you were somewhat looking her in the eyes.
When tech started to tickle her, it brought smiles to you both. Over the years her giggle, and laugh had become your shared favorite sound. Athena was so innocent and pure, she was the only hope that had survived the darkness of the empire. Luckily out of that darkness came a stronger relationship between you and Tech, even if it took time to develop again.
Without the empire down his throat, he had become much more relaxed. Even his voices seemed to dull down quite a bit. Not only that, but with his son born he felt more at home than he ever had.
This was, and always will be better than what you suffered. This was the life you and Technoblade deserved, after every tooth and nail fought for normality, this was rewarding. This was home.
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kpop---scenarios · 3 years
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Life After Death
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Pairing: Kyungsoo x Reader
Genre: Zombie! Au, Enemies to Lovers
Warning: Death, Blood, Smut, Swearing
Word Count: 9k
Summary: The morning you woke up, everything seemed normal, until it wasn't. The world is turned upside down the government and the World Health Organization have shut down, zombies around every corner and only the strong survive. You meet a few friends along the way, and lose even more as you continue to fight for your life. You never thought you'd meet someone under these circumstances but here you were, happy while surviving life after death. Though you should have known, there's never a happy ending in an apocalypse.
A/N: This is part of the collab started by @biaswreckingfics! Go to her page to see the other stories written by terrific creators!
"I'll see you later." You whisper to your sleeping boyfriend before you place a light kiss on his cheek. You open the front door to your apartment, looking back and around at everything, making sure you weren't forgetting anything before you left. As you close the door, you realize you forgot to turn off the radio when you hear one of your favorite songs playing. With a sigh, you glance at your watch and you see you're going to be late, so you leave it, just missing the important message that interrupted everything.
"Breaking News: The World Health Organization has announced extremely serious side effects from the recent vaccinations of batch number 0506361. If the numbers 0506361 are on your vaccination cards please report to your nearest hospital to seek medical treatment."
You don't notice anything different or weird as you walk down the pathway from your apartment building to your parked car. The sun is shining, the air smells crisp, today was going to be a good day, you could feel it. You slide into the driver's seat of your car, turning it on and immediately syncing your phone to play your favorite playlist to amp you up for the day of work you had ahead of you. As you continue to drive to work you notice the streets seem a lot busier than they usually were, especially for 7:45am, some people in their suits running down the sidewalk screaming. Your stomach twisted as you continued down the street, your eyebrows furrowing as you tried to watch the people and the road, slowing your speed. You look out your window and see a man laying on the ground, with another man on top of him. You rolled down your window to yell at them, but when the man turned to look at you, panic ensued. His eyes were white, his face was covered in blood, veins pulsating in his face. Nothing about him seemed human. He looked directly at you, and stood up. Your hands shook as you rolled up your window as fast as it would go. The man suddenly now bolted towards you, snarling. With your window up and both hands now on the steering wheel, you try to breathe through the lump that had appeared in your throat. As you keep driving, you see more and more of people being attacked, tackled and ripped into, people running away crying and screaming, vehicles crashing, buildings and cars up in flames. You could hear the blood curdling screams from inside your car. With shaky hands you switch the station of your radio to see if anyone was reporting on what the fuck was happening.
"..If the numbers 0506361 are on your vaccination cards please report to your nearest hospital to seek medical treatment.. there's a virus.. It's zombies. Zombies are attacking the city.. everyone seek shelter.. oh god.. please no."
You quickly turn your car around, speeding back to your apartment as you try to swerve off the undead as you rush back to your boyfriend. You may not know much, but you've seen enough zombie movies to know that you need to get supplies. You drive your car up and over the curb, parking directly on the lawn in front of your building and run inside. You were lucky you lived right on the ground floor of one of the first apartments in. You struggle to slide your key into the lock, the cries of residents pleading filling the hallway. Your key finally slides into the lock, quickly you turn it and shove your door open before slamming it behind you.
"Jaebum?" You whisper as you scrounge through the front closet looking for the duffle bag that you knew was in there. "Jaebum." You hiss again, running to the kitchen. You pack all the perishable food items and then begin filling up every jug you could find that had a lid with water. You tore through your junk drawer grabbing the flashlights and batteries, and any candles you could find as well as your butcher block.
"I'm serious, Jaebum. You need to answer me now." You hiss, bringing the bag into the living room. You guys needed to leave quickly, which meant you needed to pack even quicker. It wasn't like him not to answer you, it made you worry. You glance to the front door and his shoes were still exactly where he had left them the night before. You crept up to your closed bedroom door, with your hand hovering over the door knob. Your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest as you grabbed the knob, slowly turning it. You push the door open, expecting to see him, but he wasn't there. You quickly changed out of your work clothes, and grabbed everything from all of your drawers and shoved it into the bag. It wasn't until you had finished grabbing what you needed and you had a second to listen that you heard the shower running from down the hall, but for whatever reason, something didn't feel right. You tiptoed quietly down the hallway, standing in front of the door, you pressed your ear against it but heard nothing other than the sound of the shower running.
"Jaebum?" You whispered, gently knocking on the door, but there was no answer. You turned the knob, and opened the door. You saw your boyfriend standing there with his back turned to you. "Oh my god, Jae, we have to go! There are fucking zombies outside!" You gasp, still having a hard time believing those words that were coming from your mouth. In a split second he turned around, his face was beginning to contort, one eye was pure white.
"Y/N.. somethings wrong." He chokes out, spitting out blood before he falls to the ground, his body spasming while he froths at the mouth.
You let out a loud scream as you slam the door shut, running down the hallway to grab the duffle bag before heading out. You swing your door open to run out and crash into a man who falls into another group. You turn to apologize but already there were zombies staggering down the hallway at a quick pace. You whisper an apology before you run out the front door, his cries and pleas for help making your heart sink. You release a big breath seeing your car is still there. You climb in your front seat, closing the door as fast as you can and locking all the doors before turning your car on. Just before you were able to put your car in reverse and speed away, a man began banging on your window.
"Please miss, please open your door." He asks. You look at his face, he's sweating, blood splattered all over his face. His fists and arms remain pressed against your window, smearing blood across it. Your eyes drift down and you see a fresh wound - a bite mark and a chunk taken from his arm.
"You were bitten.." You say to him through the window.
"I'm fine. It's fine.. it's not a bite.. please." He begs. He turns to look behind him and looks back at you, panic written all over his face.
"Please miss, they're coming.. please." He cries.
"I can't." You yell, turning your head away from them. You put the car in reverse, stepping on the gas you pull away from him, knocking him to the ground. As your car stops so you can switch it into drive, you watch as the man gets mauled by a herd of the undead. You felt bad, but you couldn't have helped him, even if you wanted to.
You drove towards the freeway, thinking your best bet is to get out of the city. Your eyes were glued to the road and watching the mirrors, you watched as people panicked while driving, crashing into other cars trying to merge first, crashing into medians, and going in all directions. You could feel a panic attack coming along as you finally realized you were all alone. You had no one to talk to, no one to help you and that was terrifying. You glance down at your gas gage, seeing you had almost a full tank, you knew you would be able to make it to the one place that was probably the safest, your cousin Ray's.
You're stuck in traffic with your doors locked as you see a few people running to cars, trying to get in. There's a man, crying and panicking. No one would let him in, a herd of zombies following behind him. You needed to make a quick decision, so you rolled down your window motioning them over to you. "Here, get in." You yell, unlocking your doors. A man climbs into the backseat of your car, and you quickly lock the doors as soon as the door closes.
"Thank you." The man cries
"Have you been bitten?" You ask, turning to look him over.
"No.. no I haven't. Some men.. they pulled me out of my car, and took off, leaving me out there to die." The man explains. "You're the first person who offered me any help."
"I'm glad I could help." You smile through your rear view. "My cousin has a farm just an hour or so up from here. My family is heading there now. He's been preparing for an apocalypse for a long time. We should be safe there." You explain.
Earlier you had gotten a frantic call from your mother, her asking if you had seen what was going on. You couldn't understand why she thought you lived under a rock and didn't know anything. You did leave your house and listen to the news, contrary to popular belief.
"Thank you, thank you." He cries. You just smile as you continue to drive to Ray's farm.
**
An hour later you take a left turn, driving down the gravel road that leads you to the farm house. You drive slowly, seeing your mom's car, your aunt's car and a few other relatives. You sighed a sigh of relief, knowing that your family was safe. The two of you get out of the car and quietly make your way to the door. You softly knock but there's no answer. You turn the door knob, pushing the door open and it's empty. You walk down the small hallway and hear nothing. Your mom isn't talking, Ray wasn't yelling, no one was making a sound and that was very unusual for your family.
"Hello?" You call out.
You hear footsteps coming from down the hall as the two of you stand around the kitchen. "Hurry up." You laugh and cry.
As the footsteps got closer, you could hear snarling. Your laughter stopped as your cousin Ray came out of the back room. "Zombies." You whisper, backing away.
Not far behind him was your mom, dad, and aunt all coming out, rushing towards you all. "Run!" You scream, heading towards the door. You pull it open, the man behind you trying to get out the door, but he falls, crying as the undead come closer. He's doing his best to fight the zombies off but more stagger out from the back room, there are too many for him. "Run! Save yourself! If you meet my wife, her name is H/N, tell her I love her and our daughter." He yells. "I was trying to get home to them." He yells.
He's trying so hard to fight them, but he's bitten, he screams in agony as he's being ripped to shreds, his body being mauled by the undead.
His screams are now silent, the only sound filling the room is the sound of flesh being torn through.
You close the door, running back to your car. You see a gas can on the side of the house. You rummage through your car, knowing that you have a lighter somewhere in there. You remembered the argument you and Jaebum had gotten into about smoking and he tossed his lighter in your car.
Found it, under the passenger seat. As you went to get out of the car, you noticed something in the backseat.
A wallet.
You grabbed it, opening it up to see the license. It was the man's.
"Kim Jongdae." You whisper. You felt sorry for him, but you couldn't take long to mourn. You needed to be alert and get back on the road. You take your lighter and run to the gasoline. You pour it all over the front of the house, seeing your undead family banging against your windows broke your heart but you needed to do this. You flick the lighter, igniting the flame and throw it onto the ground. The house lights up, the flames quickly engulfing the house. You walk back to your car, slide into the driver's seat and sit there, tears pouring down your cheeks. You have no family, no friends, you have no one.
No one is coming to save you. You watch as your family and the house burn to the ground, exploding in the process.
That made you laugh a little bit, thinking of all the illegal shit your cousin Ray had in his basement.
A while later you get yourself together and drive over to the barn. If you knew anything about your cousin, it is that he always stored something in his barn, besides his pride and joy of a car, his old bronco, Monty. You pull the doors open, and take the tarp off the car, revealing its shine. Just as you remembered it. You peaked in the driver's side and sure enough, the keys were dangling from the ignition.
You began walking slowly to the back of the barn, opening another door, and here you found the jackpot.
Guns.
From a machine gun, to a pistol, to a shotgun. You gathered them all, putting the guns and the ammo in the backseat of Monty. You grab your bags from your car, tossing them in as well before looking around to see if there was anything else you could take. You notice a radio, but don't think much of it at the moment.
You climb into the driver's seat, and pull out of the barn, feeling safer than you have all day. You keep driving down the deserted highway. Abandoned cars everywhere, a few bodies laying around but most of all, no zombies but also no humans either. You're barely paying attention to the road, when you hit something, causing you to swerve, and the car to make a funny noise. You get out to check and see your front tire, flat as fuck.
You didn't have a spare. It was getting dark and you were exhausted. You moved most of the guns to the floor of the back seat, grabbing a blanket and some food and water. You change your clothes, wiping yourself down before having a snack. Laying down in the backseat you try to plan out your next move, but your eyelids get too heavy, and you can't fight it anymore. You doze off completely, and for a little while, forget about the disaster you're in.
You stayed in your car for weeks, never coming across anyone human. You missed talking to someone, talking to yourself wasn't the same. At times you almost forgot what your own voice sounded like. When it was safe, you'd get out of the car and wander around the forest, collecting sticks and branches to make fires with, so you could heat up some of your food. You have some, but you were starting to run low and you didn't know what you were going to do when it ran out. You were limiting yourself to one meal a day but even that didn't seem to help.
You learned when zombies came near the car, in a few or a herd, you needed to hide yourself very well. No moving, light breathing and packed under a lot of things. You were sure if they couldn't see you then they would continue on their way and leave. It almost always worked.
Life in the apocalypse was lonely and exhausting. That night you went to sleep, hoping for a miracle.
You're woken up later, by a frantic tapping on your window. Your eyes adjust to the sun as you look directly out your back window. A group of men stand there, all looking terrified as one of them taps on your window harder. You crawl up to the front driver's seat. You know you can't go anywhere, not with your busted tire. You turn the car on, rolling down your window just a crack.
"What?" You ask, side eyeing all of them.
"Please, we won't hurt you.. we just need a ride. There.. there's a military base a few miles up, but we just can't walk anymore. We haven't come across anyone, human in a while." He stutters.
"My tire is flat." You explain. "I don't have a spare."
"I can change it for you, just gotta take one off another car." A man pipes up.
You didn't feel uneasy from these guys and you were one to always trust your instincts.
"You change the tire, I'll give you a ride." You say. A military base? Maybe it would finally be somewhere safe for you to be.
The man nods and gets to work. By the time he's done the sun is beginning to set, and then you're on your journey to hopefully find somewhere safe.
You're driving down the highway, doing your best to follow the men's map that has every military base mapped out in the 100 miles surrounding the area. "What are your names?" You ask.
"I'm Changbin." The one in the front seat answers. "I'm Chan, and this is Felix." One in the back answers.
"Nice to meet you. I'm Y/N." You say with a smile. As you continue to drive, it quickly becomes night time, everything is black, except for the dim lights coming from your headlights. The two men in the back continue to loudly talk and argue over something, making it hard for you to concentrate. You hated driving at night, especially near wooded areas, you never knew what was out there.
"Can you guys stop?" You ask, glancing to the back.
They continued and got louder. Changbin was asleep in the front seat as they continued their bickering, making you get even more flustered. You turn your head to look back at them, telling them again to stop. They look at each other as you look back at the road and see something standing there. You get startled, yanking the wheel to try and avoid it, heading directly into the woods. The car heads straight on towards a tree and crashes. You hit your head hard on the steering wheel, knocking you out.
What feels like hours, but only seconds later you gain consciousness, just in time to hear Changbin and Chan crying. "She killed him." Changbin cried. "I'm gonna kill her." He yells.
You're struggling to open your eyes, your head is pounding.
You can hear some rustling between the two. "Don't." Chan says. "Leave her. She's in no condition to go anywhere. The undead will get her. She'll get her suffering, ``he says. "Let's take what we can and leave."
"No." You whisper. "Don't."
They can't hear you.
You can hear them rummaging through your car, collecting your guns, your food, your water, everything you had.
"Let's go." Changbin says, they both take off, leaving you there to die as you lose consciousness once again.
**
You're startled awake, surrounded by darkness. You unbuckle your seatbelt, getting out of the car with your head pounding. Your headlights are still on, and you see Felix's body laying on the ground. He had flown through the windshield from the impact of the crash. He wasn't wearing a seatbelt. You begin to cry, this was too much for you.
And then you remember. You look up and see a herd of zombies staggering towards you. They were quicker than you thought. You turned towards the road, running as fast as you could, your leg was throbbing. You run across the road to the other side of the woods. You can hear the snarling behind you as you do your best to navigate through the trees, branches breaking beneath your feet.
You stop, hiding behind a tree, trying to control your breathing. You listen, you can hear the sounds of them walking through the forest, searching for you. You take a second before you take off again, trying to zigzag through the woods in your best attempt to lose them.
You look up, seeing a fire. You run towards it, the flames becoming closer, you can hear the sound of faint words.
Then everything goes quiet. Suddenly the fire is put out and you can hear the sounds of guns clicking.
"Don't shoot." You yell out. "Please."
"What do you want?" A woman yells back.
"I'm.. there's a herd following me. I need help. I was in an accident, I was robbed. I haven't been bitten." You stutter.
"We don't need anyone else." A man yells. "Keep moving."
"Please.. I just need some help. I'm all alone." You cry.
"Move along, before I put a bullet in your head." He yells.
You let out a sob as you turn, beginning to run a different way. You hope you can find a safe place and a group of people but for tonight, you just hope you can survive the night.
**
It had been months.
Months since the outbreak, months of being on your own, months of fighting, scavenging, and hiding. You had come across a few groups, but they wanted nothing more than to take what you had and leave you defenseless. You had learned to hide from most people, giving yourself the advantage of a surprise attack. Most of the time you were successful and they just took off but sometimes they also fought back.
A week ago you had come across a small town, and had found some food and water and a place to stay, but you knew better than to stay in one place for too long. You quickly packed up your belongings into your backpack and grabbed your large spear. You learned awfully quick how to take down a zombie with it, finding it to be much more efficient than a gun, especially with having spears on both sides.
As you walk through the forest, your eyes and ears are open, listening for any signs of the undead. You stop in your tracks, hearing the sound of grunting and yelling, sounding close to you. You walk towards the sound, and come into view of four men trying to fight off a herd. They looked to be struggling, and although you don't usually like to insert yourself into others' fights, you felt like being nice and lending a hand. You run towards them, spearing a few in the head on your way.
You quickly join the fight, taking down a few zombies, as they get a little distracted, seeing another person helping.
"Focus." A man yells, bringing them out of the confusion.
A few minutes later, the last one is stabbed in the head, his decaying body dropping to the ground. The four men turn to look at you, two of them with a smile on their faces, one looking a little confused and the other one looking right angry.
"Hi." One with brown hair and a large smile says.
"Thank you." The blonde one grins.
"No problem." You laugh.
"I'm Baekhyun, this is Chanyeol." He introduces. "And that's Suho." He says, pointing to the confused one. "And that's Kyungsoo." He finishes, pointing to the angry one.
"Nice to meet you all." You say. "I'm Y/N."
"Are you all alone?" Chanyeol asks.
You nod your head.
"What's your story, Y/N?" Suho asks.
You smile awkwardly as you look at the four men who surround you. "My boyfriend turned into one of them when this whole thing started, so I was on my own from the beginning, in a sense. I met a man on my way to my cousin's farm, where my family was gathering, and when we got there they all had already turned. He..he tripped and he fell while trying to escape and he was bitten." You shudder. "I gathered supplies and I took off, and ended up with a flat tire a few hours away. I stayed in my car for weeks, managing pretty well on my own. I met three guys who offered to change my tire for a ride to a military base but when we finally got going.. it was dark and they were arguing in the back." You explain. "I turned around to tell them to stop, but they wouldn't listen and when I looked back at the road, there was something there and I swerved." You sigh. "We hit a tree, and one of them flew through the window. The other two robbed me of everything I had and I've been alone ever since."
"Well not anymore you're not." Baekhyun smiles. "You can join our group."
"Yeah!" Chanyeol exclaims.
"No." Kyungsoo grunts, walking past you, glaring at you. "We didn't need your help. And you're not joining us." He spits. "You're not going to let her join, right?" He asks Suho.
"I don't know." Suho sighs.
"Suho, everyone around her dies. She's bad fucking luck and if you bring her with us, we're all as good as dead." He spits.
"Meeting." Suho announces.
The four men huddle around, whispering to each other. You can make out Baekhyun and Chanyeol saying yes, and Kyungsoo saying no.
Seconds later they all stand up, Kyungsoo looking pissed with the other two looking happier than a pig in shit.
"If you would like to, we would like to invite you to join us. We know it's tough out here, and I can't imagine what it's been like to be alone." Suho says.
You look between all the men, even if one hated you for no reason, you were tired of being alone, and being scared alone.
"Yes." You announce. "Thank you."
"Come on, our camp is this way." Chanyeol smiles, waving you along. Three men begin walking away, but Kyungsoo walks towards you.
"I don't trust you." He murmurs, moving in close. "If anyone from this group so much as gets a splinter, I'm coming for you." He growls into your ear, his tone is low and very threatening. Goosebumps cover your skin as you feel his hot breath on your ear.
You nod your head.
He turns away from you, running towards the rest of his group.
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea?
**
You felt like your legs were going to collapse as you continued to walk behind the group. Baekhyun turns around, smiling as he announces you have arrived. You look around and see a bunch of trees, but no camp, except for the small campfire pit that sat on the ground.
"It's.. nice." You smile.
Chanyeol, Suho and Baekhyun start laughing.
"Look up." Chanyeol says.
You tilt your head to the sky, and see a decent sized tree house sitting between a few trees. Your jaw drops, this was one thing you had never expected to see. "Come, we'll give you a tour." Baekhyun says, beginning to climb up the swinging ladder. You follow behind Baekhyun, the rest coming up behind you. When you get inside, you're honestly still amazed. It wasn't much but it was safe and it was out of the way and off the ground.
"We pull up the ladder when we're here, and when we all leave we just hide it." Suho explains. "We have food, water and sleeping bags. The most important things. We all pitch in around here, whether or not it's repairs, runs, or fights, everyone helps." He says, looking at you.
"Of course. Whatever I can do to help, I will." You assure them.
"Or don't, I'm not ready to die." Kyungsoo mutters, setting his stuff down.
Your eyes darted over to Kyungsoo, giving him an offended look. He looks back at you, not caring if he's hurt your feelings. You can sort of understand why he's weary of you, but it's not like you killed these people for the hell of it. You were determined to prove that it wasn't you, that you weren't bad luck. How you were going to do that, you had no idea.
**
That night you sat around a campfire, your belly fuller than it's been in a while, while you listened to stories Baekhyun and Chanyeol shared about their friend group. As it turned out, there were a total of twelve of them when this first started. Some of them were unfortunate to be ones who had gotten the batch of vaccines, a few they had lost while traveling, some died in fights, or took off to find their loved ones.
"Have you come across any of them?" You ask.
"We've looked, but no luck so far. There are two we're still looking for. Oh Sehun and Kim Jongdae." Suho says.
Your heart stops. Your head darts up, looking at him with wide eyes.
"What?" Chanyeol asks.
"What was that last name?" You whisper.
"Kim Jongdae? He was one of our best friends." Suho tells you.
You gulp, there's a ball forming in your throat. "What?" Kyungsoo yells. "What do you know?"
"I.. He said he was trying to get back to his wife and kid.. h-he told me to run and save myself. I wanted to help him b-but I didn't know how." You choke out.
"The man that was bitten at your farm. That was Jongdae?" Kyungsoo asks.
"I saw his license in his wallet.. he had dropped it in my car when we got out. I'm so sorry." You cry.
Kyungsoo rushes towards you, tackling you to the ground, straddling you.
"You fucking bitch, I knew you shouldn't have joined us. It should have fucking been you. You should have died, not him." He screams in your face, spit flying from his mouth as he hands pin your shoulders to the ground.
You're bawling as Suho and Chanyeol pull Kyungsoo off of you, he's still crying and yelling. "It should have been you!" He yells.
Baekhyun helps you off the ground, guiding you to go up into the tree house. He sets out a sleeping bag for you, tucking you in as you cry into the built in pillow. 'I'm so sorry." You whimper.
"I know. And we know it's not your fault. Jongdae was a clumsy motherfucker so I'm not surprised he tripped. Don't take what Kyungsoo says to heart. He's been through alot and he's not warm to new people. Just give him a bit." Baekhyun tells you. He gives you a half smile before climbing down the ladder and sitting back around the fire, helping to calm things down. That night you fell asleep with tears staining your face.
**
Days bled into weeks, and then into months, until this new life and these men were all that were at the top of your mind. Chanyeol had finally been able to make contact with the ham radio that had been found on one of many expeditions. There seemingly were whole groups of people like yourselves out there, sticking together and trying to survive. You reflected on the wonder of it all as you cleaned the rabbit you had caught, the best you could.
Kyungsoo had become different with you, he didnt give off a hatred towards you anymore. His words didn't cut quite as deep. Slowly you were becoming closer, and you enjoyed it.
Suddenly, you feel a presence behind you, waves of hot breath covering the nape of your neck, sending chills down your spine. He didn't even need to speak, you already knew who it was. "You're doing it wrong." Kyungsoo breathed, his body close to yours.
"I'm not." You retort, continuing to skin the dead animal. You tried to ignore his presence, and that fact that he made you feel so many mixed emotions whenever he was around.
You both hear a crunch of leaves behind you, making Kyungsoo step away from you and turn around.
"What are you guys doing?" Baekhyun asks, raising his eyebrow.
"She's skinning the rabbit wrong. She's going to take off all the meat with the fur." Kyungsoo announces.
"I am not.. shit." You spit, looking on the ground, seeing hunks of meat still attached to the fur.
"Told you." He mumbles, walking away and into the forest to try and find more food.
You stick up your middle finger at the man who drove you crazy day in and day out.
"Y/N." Suho calls out to you, a few hours later. "If you want to take a bath, go to the stream now. It's going to be dark soon."
You nod your head, climbing up the ladder to grab your things. You slide back down, just in time for Kyungsoo to be protesting something.
"We've all got other things to do, you're the only one free." Suho tells him. "Y/N, Kyungsoo will be keeping watch for you."
"I really don't ne.." you start.
"Yes you do." He says, looking at you. "And you will go. That's it."
With an aggravated groan, Kyungsoo stomps off towards the stream, with your speed walking to keep up with him.
As you finish up your wash, you dry yourself off with your towel, pulling your jeans on over your damp legs. You bend down to grab your shirt, when you hear a rustling from behind you. You stand up straight, your heart pounding in your chest.
You hear it again, the sound now closer to you. "Fuck." You scream, running towards Kyungsoo. Your body collides with his, your breasts pressing against his hard chest. "There's something out there." You whisper.
You both hear the sound, Kyungsoo holding onto you as his eyes dart around, taking in the surroundings. Seconds later a deer walks out of the bushes, grazing and you can feel your heart slow down.
"It's a deer." He announces, looking at you. You look back at him, your eyes trailing to his heart shaped lips. Your own set of lips parting slightly as you look back at him, his eyes haven't moved from your face. Without thinking you inch yourself forward, which causes Kyungsoo to inch back. Your stomach sinks. You cannot believe you just did that. Why did you think that he would return a kiss?
"We should head back." He says, avoiding eye contact and clearing his throat.
You feel so embarrassed. You quickly whisper an apology before grabbing your things and taking off, hearing a faint "wait." From behind you. You're running through the words, desperately trying not to cry as you can hear Kyungsoo running behind you.
You finally slow down, trying to catch your breath as your lips quiver. You hear a stick break behind you. You turn around with a sigh, and come face to face with a zombie, snarling as he reaches out for you. You scream loudly as you try to fight it off, tripping in the process. You fall back with him on top of you as he tries to go in for a bite. Black bile is seeping from his mouth, his breath is rancid.
"Help!" You scream out, one hand trying to reach for something, anything that would help you take him out.
Suddenly his body goes limp and you hear the sound of a sword coming out of his head. You roll the body off of you, and see Chanyeol smiling above you.
"Thank you." You sigh in relief. Chanyeol puts out his hand to help you up, when he's attacked. Another zombie staggers up to him, latching his teeth to Chanyeol's neck. He screams out in agony as the monster devours him before your eyes.
"No!" You cry. You take Chanyeol's sword, putting the blade right through the zombie's skull. Chanyeol sinks to the ground, sobbing while he holds his neck. "I'm sorry." You cry. "I'm so so sorry."
"It's.. not.. your...fault." He breathes. "Tell them.. I love them.." he stutters.
Kyungsoo, Baekhyun and Suho rush to Chanyeol's side. Baekhyun is sobbing while Kyungsoo and Suho hold back their tears.
"I didn't.. I didn't know there was a second one." You sob.
Kyungsoo walks over to you, his face stone cold. He wraps one arm around you, pulling you in close to him. "It's not your fault." He murmurs. The two of you stand there, watching the life drain from Chanyeol's eyes.
Baekhyun announces he will be the one to put Chanyeol down, but would like to do it in private. Three of you walk away from the sobbing man, your heart full of guilt.
**
The next day, the camp is quiet. You were busy making wood spears, like Chanyeol had taught you a few weeks ago. You couldn't even look at Baekhyun. You knew the two of them were best friends and your heart hurt so badly that Chanyeol died while trying to save you.
Had you not been so stupid and tried to kiss Kyungsoo, then this would never have happened. You knew this was your fault and there was nothing you could do to make it better. You can't bring Chanyeol back and you really wish you could.
"Careful." You hear from behind you. You turn your head and see Kyungsoo leaning against a tree. "If you keep sharpening it like that you're going to end up slicing your finger off." He tells you.
"This is how.. Chanyeol showed me how to do it." You say. You could barely speak his name.
Kyungsoo chuckles. "Yeah, he wasn't the best at doing it either." He crouches behind you, wrapping his arms around you to show you the proper way of doing it. Your heart still flutters as he touches you.
"Thank you." You whisper.
"Anytime." He says, standing up and walking away from you.
Fuck. You were so fucked.
**
That night you couldn't sleep. You stared at the empty spot beside you, where Chanyeol used to sleep. You could hear the small whimpers coming from Baekhyun and you just couldn't take it. You slowly slid out of your sleeping bag, slid on some shoes and climbed down the ladder. As you stand in the forest, you take a deep breath of fresh air. You need to gather your thoughts and heal yourself. You begin walking through the woods. It's quiet, and you didn't plan on going very far. As you're walking, you stop to listen. You hear a noise coming from in front of you but you didn't know what it was. You tried your best to hide behind the tree, limiting your breathing as you continue to listen. You can heat twigs breaking and leaves crunching. Your heart begins to race in your chest, you squeeze your eyes shut.This was a bad idea, you should not have left the tree house.
"What are you doing?" You hear from in front of you. You open your eyes and see Kyungsoo standing in front of you.
"I thought.. oh my god." You sigh. "I thought I was going to die."
Before he can say anything you both hear groans and snarls but you're not sure where from. You unintentionally let out a squeak. Kyungsoo covers your mouth with his hand, pushing you up against the tree. His body presses hard against yours, you can feel his hot breath against your neck.
The two of you stay like this for what feels like hours. When the sound is finally gone he pulls away from you.
"What are you doing out here?" He growls.
"I needed some air, and to think." You explain.
"You could die out here. This has to be your stupidest decision." Kyungsoo scoffs.
"No." You begin. Before your brain can tell you not to say anything, your mouth begins to move. "My stupidest decision was trying to kiss you." You say, turning away from him to walk away.
"I was surprised." He announces. "I didn't think you'd try and kiss me. I didn't think you'd even like me. I treated you terribly." He tells you.
"That's probably why I like you unfortunately." You sigh, making him laugh.
As the two of you are walking back towards the house, you hear whispers coming towards you. You both stop, hearing the sound of a gun loading, making you stop in your tracks. Kyungsoo pulls you behind him, moving both of you towards a bigger tree to hide behind.
"Show yourself walker." A man screams. "I know you're out there."
Neither of you say anything. Kyungsoo is against pressed up against your body, shielding you from any danger.
A while later you see a light flashing. It flashes towards your tree, making Kyungsoo push into you more, trying to keep the two of you hidden. The light passes the tree you're behind and continues to walk away. Neither of you move until the light is completely gone and out if sight. Both of you let out a sigh of relief but Kyungsoo doesn't move away from you. His face hovers close to yours, you can feel his breath on your face.
You wait. You wait for what you hope will happen but you don't think that it will come.
Until it does. Kyungsoo presses his lips to yours. You're shocked at first, until he begins moving his lips against yours and you get into it. You wrap your arms around his neck as he slips his tongue into your mouth. You moan into the kiss, making him groan.
"I want to fuck you." He says, his lips still just barely touching yours.
"I want you to fuck me." You breathe.
Kyungsoo turns you around, pushing you up against the tree. He kneels down, pulling down your sweat pants and underwear.
"Spread your legs." He demands.
You spread them as far as you can. You can hear the sound of his belt unbuckling behind you. Your pussy throbs in anticipation. You don't know how big or small he is, but you hope he destroys you. You couldn't even remember the last time you had been fucked at all.
Kyungsoo steps up behind you, taking two fingers and searching between your lips for your hole. He chuckles when he finds it, he can feel your juices dripping from inside of you. "So fucking wet." He groans, slowly pushing his two fingers inside you. Immediately you clench around them, it feels so good. "I needed to make sure you were wet enough, and fuck are you ever." He whispers in your ear.
He pulls his fingers out of you, and lines his cock up with your hold. You're bracing yourself on the tree as he pushes himself inside you. Your eyes practically roll back into your head as he stretches you out.
"Oh god." You cry, your fingernails digging into the tree bark.
"Shit." He cries, slowly pulling out of you before snapping his hips and harshly pushing his cock back inside. "It's gonna be quick." He groans.
That was fine with you, you knew you could rub your clit twice and cum, it had been too long.
Kyungsoo has his hands holding onto your hips as he snaps his, grunting and groaning from behind you. You reach between your legs, touching your clit. You begin to slowly rub it and you can already feel your intense orgasm already building up. You feel like you're going to cum already. His cock feels so nice sliding in and out of your pussy, the sound of his grunts and moans, with the feeling of his hot breath covering you and giving you shivers.
"Cum." He grunts. Your tighten your pussy around him as you orgasm washes over you, leaving your body feeling weak.
Kyungsoo moans loudly as he pulls out of you, jerking his cock to cum all over your ass. He lets out a string of swear words as he releases his load, breathing heavily as he works through it.
You both pull up your pants, and get situated. "We better get back." He says, walking back towarsa camp. You follow closely behind him, confused about your feelings for him, but more so his feelings for you, if there were any.
**
The next day you wake up with the thoughts of what happened last night over flowing through your head. You didn't know how to process this, or what was going to happen now. You decided to see how the day was going to play out and just go about your normal routine.
When you got downstairs you said hi to Suho, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo. Two of them said goodmorning back to you, and one did not. You tried to stop thinking about it but it was hard and you knew he wasn't the type of man to tell you his feelings.
However, all day he ignored you. Anytime you tried to say anything to him, he walked away, he refused to answer you and honestly you felt extremely disrespected. Your eyes burn as you fight off the tears, watching him talk and laugh with Baekhyun while you just get ignored.
Suho on the other hand most definitely noticed something was going on because a little while later you see Suho quietly yelling at Kyungsoo.
"I don't care what you did." Suho spits. "Fix it. I refuse to have a hole in our team because one of us is being a dick. Fucking fix it." He murmurs again before walking away.
**
That night you laid in your sleeping bag, wondering if this is what it was going to be like. You having feelings for Kyungsoo, and him taking advantage of it. Fucking you when it's convenient for him and ignoring you the rest of the time. Even after death, life was still so fucked.
You feel something pressing against you from behind. You slowly roll over and see Kyungsoo laying beside you in his sleeping bag.
"Can we talk?" He asks.
You nod your head.
"I." He begins. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the way I treated you, I'm sorry for the things I said and for the way I acted when I found out about Jongdae. Its been hard to lose people, and it's even harder to accept new people into the group. You're doing a great job here and we're lucky to have you." He whispers.
"Thank you." You smile. But you really want to know why he ignored you all day. "What was going on today?" You ask.
"I enjoyed last night. I, um, had a girlfriend when this whole thing started. We got out together, we met up with Suho and Baekhyun and Chanyeol and she really helped build alot of this. I lost her a while ago, and it's been hard. I didn't think I would meet anyone, or fall for anyone else and then you came along. I feel guilty for liking you so much, like I'm cheating." He explains. "I was convincing myself it wasn't cheating."
"I get that. I was in a relationship when this thing started. Unfortunately for me, he ended up being one of the ones who received that does of vaccine. I had to leave him in our apartment and take off." You whisper. "You'll always have her memory with you and it's something you'll treasure. I didn't know her, but I'm sure she wouldn't want you to be sad and mourning her."
"You're right." He sighs. "It's hard to let go, but I do like you, Y/N. I want you to know that."
"I like you too." You smile.
The two of you lay there, whispering to eachother, laughing and enjoying the night. You couldn't have asked for anything better.
**
Over the next few weeks, the others had changed. With Chanyeol being gone, it took a toll on Baekhyun. He often sobbed at night, crawling next to you so you could rub his head while he cried. Your heart went out to him.
This life wasn't easy.
Suho had become much more grimmer and sullen. He barks orders at people, never engaging in coversations anymore. He's tired, everyone is tired with very little of hope for the future. Fighting for your lives everyday, scrounging for food and water is a struggle, however none of this stopped you and Kyungsoo from sneaking off when you could to be together.
Neither of you really talked when you weren't fucking and that was okay with you, you knew he still had feelings for you. It was the little things he did for you when no one was looking that reassured you. You both knew that announcing your relationship to Suho and Baekhyun would not end well, so keeping it between the two of you would be the best.
You announced to Baekhyun and Suho that you were going to the river, they both just nodded while Kyungsoo offered to be your watch.
It didn't take long for him to be pulling off your shirt and for you to slide off your pants and panties. Both of you walked into the cool water, soaking yourselves before Kyungsoo pulled you towards him. He lifts you up, letting you put your legs around him as he leans in for a kiss. You can feel his cock sliding against your pussy, waiting to be pushed in. He breaks the kiss, leaning down to pepper kisses along your neck as he thrusts, pushing himself inside of you.
You throw your head back as he holds you, fucking you harshly. There was never time to fuck slow, you always needed to be quick and get it done, just in case.
He pumps himself into you, his hand reaching between you and him, touching your sensitive bud and rubbing while he pounds his cock into you.
"Fuck baby." He groans. "You feel so fucking good."
You hold him close as your orgasm builds, biting your bottom lip and your hands gripping his hair. "Just like that." You breathe. "Don't stop." You grind yourself on him as you begin to cum, intensifying your orgasm. "Oh god yes." You moan, breathing heavily.
"I'm gunna cum." He moans, thrusting harder. Seconds later he releases himself, shooting his cum inside of you, his head resting on you as he catches his own breath.
"Fuck." He breathes pulling out of you. "I love you." He whispers.
You stare at him with wide eyes. This wasn't something you had been expecting at all, considering you did your best to hide the relationship at all costs. "I know it might be too soon, but I do and I need you to know that."
"I love you too." You smile.
You're brought out of your sweet moment when you hear screaming from Baekhyun and Suho. You both rush out of the water and get dressed as quick as you can before running back to camp.
"What?" You breathe. "What happened?"
Baekhyun and Suho grin as they stare at the radio. "Listen!" Baekhyun yells.
“Our dear citizens, to those who have survived. The WHO has created what promises to be a vaccine. We are asking all our citizens to make their way to the nearest hospital facility. Troops are being deployed along with helicopters and planes to transport as needed. Today … we have hope in the world again”
You all burst into tears. You did it, you survived and met some wonderful people. You have a love you had never thought you'd get again.
Kyungsoo embraces you tightly, crying into your shoulder as you do his. Quickly Suho and Baekhyun join your hug, all of you feeling such relief and happiness, for the first time in a long time.
As quick as you all can, you gather what you need to make the trek to find a hospital. You say a quick goodbye to your site that has kept you safe for so long, before taking off, hand in hand with Kyungsoo, and Baekhyun and Suho on either side of you.
It wasn't long into your journey, when you hear the familiar sounds of zombies wandering through the forest. The four of you prepare yourselves for a fight but as they come out, you realize there are more than you all had anticipated. You try to fight your way through the crowd, but somehow you're separated from the group, trying to take on more than you can. The others are distracted, they aren't paying attention to your calls for help. A zombie lunges at you, knocking you back. You're crying loudly but no one is coming to help. The other zombies kneel beside you as you keep trying to fight them off, but one takes a chunk out of your shoulder. You scream in agony as you lose your strength to fight. They're devouring you as you're fading into the darkness. You can hear Kyungsoo yell no and all the pain stops. You see him standing over you as you spit up blood. He's crying over your body, asking you to stay with him but you can't. You're tired of fighting, you want to let go now.
So you do.
You open your eyes and see a film over everything. Your body is sore, the scent of meat makes your mouth water and your stomach cramp. Everything feels stiff but something smells so good. Your hearing is better than ever, picking up the sound of a rapid beating heart and the sound of crying. Wait…Where’s my heart beat? You look with horror at the meat...
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, “I love you.” You reach out to stop the knife but your body is stiff and I responsive as you watch the knife plunging towards you. It’s me you scream in your head as it all goes dark
There is no happiness in life after death.
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stayevildarling · 3 years
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Wilhemina Venable x Reader- When the time is right - Pt 1
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Part 2, Part 3
word count: 3.8k
warnings: mention of scoliosis, angst + fluff at the end
A/N: This story is kind of an AU. Reader meets Venable when Wilhemina is light Mina (orange hair, adorable, cute, friendly) and they get together. One day Wilhemina breaks it off suddenly and they only reunite years later but Reader is met with a much darker version (dark Mina).
Also, this used to be on my Wattpad but I decided to completely rewrite it and add multiple parts
Taglist:
@lunaticwhittaker, @rainbow-hedgehog, @mrsdeanhoward, @alexajbitar, @in-cordelias-coven, @kenzbro, @loverofallthingssarah, @twistedpoeticjustice, @billiebeanhoward, @minaslittleone, @lilypadscoven, @vintagepaulson, @ninaahs, @whitelotus00, @httpfiftyshadesofgay
-Flashback-
''Are you serious right now after all we have been through?'' you try hard not to scream but it feels like your body is on fire, your lungs are burning, heart racing and your eyes watering. You cannot believe you are having this conversation with your girlfriend Wilhemina right now. After a whole year of knowing each other and eventually giving the relationship a go she is talking about moving on.
'It's for the best'' is all she said in return and then she walked out, cane in her hand hitting the floor hard and not once did she look back, she ignored your cries, you begging her to stay and please turn back around. You keep repeating this is a nightmare and you are gonna wake up any minute to her holding you in her arms. But it was no nightmare and she did walk out of your shared apartment and ever since that day you have tried to move on. But no matter what you did working, moving out of the apartment, meeting friends, getting to know new people it didn't work, Wilhemina was always on your mind, when you are asleep she would visit in your dreams, when you are driving or outside and a song plays, she is there in your memory as if she never left in the first place.
-End of Flashback-
Even right now as you are walking through the streets on your lunch break, coffee in your hand and earphones in your ears listening to music she is here again.
''I never needed you like I do right now....I never hated you like I do right now'' as you hear those lyrics your heart skips a beat and it feels like it is breaking all over again. You tried everything you could think of, start a new job in a new field, you moved to a new city but nothing seems to be able to take your mind off the redhead, clouding your mind, her touch still so present lingering on your skin, her voice still ringing through your ears and the smell of lavender following you wherever you go.
Currently, you are working for a company in California, in the social media department and to promote the brand and their work. It's mostly boring but you do enjoy social media and advertisement so you gladly took the job considering it comes with a higher paycheck and a brand new apartment. There was nothing left in your old city, no friends anymore because you drove them all away as they always talked badly about your ex-girlfriend and the feelings you still have for her. No family because you were kind of always on your own and after quitting your job there, there was nothing holding you back. The woman with red-orange hair and a purple obsession is currently on your mind again and no matter what you do she is stuck in your head, like a catchy record and it hurts. As you think about her a wave of flashbacks hit you, with no way of putting a stop to it and keeping the storm at bay.
''Wilhemina Venable, nice to meet you'' was the first few words that you ever heard her say and for a moment you were so struck that you couldn't even say anything. ''Cat got your tongue hmm?'' was what she said afterward and what got you to snap out of it, introduce yourself, and shake her hand. And when you touched her for the first time you knew you would never ever get tired of feeling her soft hands.
You would also never grow tired of looking into her beautiful brown eyes or the soft smile she would give you whenever she would see you. Back then you just finished college and you took your first job and she was your co-worker. Starting a relationship with a co-worker is sometimes frowned upon and there probably are good reasons for that but you didn't listen, not to your friends telling you not to do it and not to the other co-workers after they noticed the glances you and Wilhemina exchanged at work. But you both never let that stop you and you fell for her and you fell hard.
Although you had some crushes before, mostly on teachers in college or celebrities, you never had been in a relationship before. Every morning before work you would get up so early and make sure to put your best clothes on, you would improve your makeup skills and try different hairstyles to impress Wilhemina and you did. She would notice how often you would come around to her desk and ask her silly questions you both knew the answers to but you pretend you didn't. And eventually, she took all of her confidence and asked you out and that night was the most magical night of your life.
You went to an expensive restaurant and after she took you home and she gave you something that night that was precious and you held onto it till today. Patience. She was your first love and she made sure to not rush, to not hurt you, to be there for you and hold you whenever you needed her. After your first date, you went on some more magical nights together, before you were ready to allow her to love you and to love her in return and she made you feel things you never felt before. She would make your whole body feel beautiful and worthy, all your insecurities left whenever you were around the woman who had many insecurities herself due to her back. And that's probably what you admire most about her, the way she made you feel whenever you were with her.
Thinking about all this, you think back to the many dates you both went on, to restaurants, shopping, the movies, car dates, attending work parties together, going to get drunk together. Life felt so easy with Wilhemina around, although she was a few years older than you she was pure, she was funny, soft, kind, precious and she was innocent. She would always treat people with respect and offer help and you loved her beautiful and kind personality. You never thought that one night after being with each other for almost a year she would randomly walk out of your life and not once turn back around or try and talk about it.
Hearing the lyrics repeat, you sigh and shake your head because it is true, one part of you needed Wilhemina back in your life because no matter what you do you can not get her out of your head or heart for that matter. Part of you does hate her for leaving and walking out, you never cried harder in your life than the night she left and you couldn't function for days. All you did was cry, toss and turn in the bed or curl up on the floor in a little ball until you couldn't cry anymore but the pain never stopped. It took days and in the end, your friends who picked you up again, taught you how to take care of yourself again by eating, showering, getting dressed, and going to work and you hoped that moving and changing jobs would change something.
As you are sitting in a park, only a few blocks away from your new workplace, watching people having picnics, playing with their kids, walking their dogs, or doing exercise you realize that all this wasn't worth it. Moving away, leaving your job, apartment and friends did nothing, you still miss her and she still haunts you. You miss her gentle side, the soft Mina as you used to call her, who would hold you in her arms, who would say soothing words until you would fall asleep, and who would make you feel better after a hard day at work, hold you after a nightmare or would let you ramble about another one of the co-workers annoying you. You miss telling her about your days and how you feel because you could be free with her and be who you are and you haven't been that way in a very long time.
Checking your phone you notice your lunch break is over in five minutes so you toss your empty coffee cup in a nearby trash can and walk back to your office. Today has been particularly boring because all you have to do is answer people's dm's and requests on social media because currently there is no campaign going on. As you walk back to your desk you put your coat and bag away and start logging onto your laptop. That's when you hear your boss on his way to your desk and you can't help but internally roll your eyes. He isn't a bad guy or anything, he is in his fifties, grey hair, always wearing a suit and he treats you with respect and you appreciate him but whenever he would approach you it means a problem, like an advertisement going wrong or a complaint or a new major client and that means longer hours and staying in the office till midnight. Not that you mind considering there is nothing or no one to come back home to.
''Y/N'' he says as he finally reaches your desk. Looking up from your desk, you force a smile and reply ''Yes Mr. Odell what can I do for you?''. By his posture, you can tell he is in some kind of distress.
''Listen we have a potential new client and I want you to come to our first meeting with them'' he says excitedly and you question why he can't just bring his assistant. ''I can't bring Janet she is sick so I need you to get your things'' he explains and you log off your computer, take your coat and bag and follow him outside the building. It is quite chilly, so you are glad that you put a jacket over your blazer.
As the familiar buildings and streets fade into the distance, you try not to zone out like you usually would but these days your mind would often be preoccupied with daydreams or memories as if someone else was entirely in control of your thoughts.
''I have a meeting with a Mr. Pfister and Mr. Nutter'' he says absent-mindedly while looking into his calendar and talking about the company you are headed to. Snapping out of your thoughts, you nod and mumble ''Of course Mr. Odell'' before averting your gaze back to the window looking at the hectic city and people going on about their days. Your thoughts wander back to work and you try to think of a few possibilities to advertise their products, as that might not be as easy as you originally thought when agreeing on accompanying your boss.
The first thing you see as you walk into a large unfamiliar building, following your boss's steps,  is a front desk with some employees sitting there, it seems that this building is home to a few companies and different departments as they guide people into different parts of the building. You watch as your boss approaches the front desk,  ''Hello may I help you?'' a woman with blonde hair asks politely.
''Yes I have a meeting with Kineros Robotics'' he says and she looks at you, then him again, and points towards a sign. ''It's to your right just follow the signs'' she says and you notice how her facial expression changed from nice and friendly to cold and possibly scared? after your boss mentioned the company name. Reading people's expressions and understanding their underlying feelings, has always been something you are good at but you quickly shake the thought away and follow your boss.
As you walk down the corridor you see a young woman with long brown curled hair wearing a blouse with flower prints and a skirt run down the hall with a box in her hand, her heels echoing through the building. ''I'm sorry'' she mumbles hectic and nervous as she zooms past you and you give Mr. Odell a questioning expression before reaching the department.
''I'm so sorry there was a bad accident on the 101'' you hear the woman say and then you hear a sound that sounds both so familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. The cane tapping. For a moment you freeze, knowing this isn't just any cane tap as you are so used to a certain redhead woman expressing her emotions partly through the very device that helps her keep her balance. Despite not having heard the sound in over a year, you know exactly who must be on the other end of the hallway.
Temporarily you freeze, thinking maybe her leaving you and breaking things off with you, has ultimately clouded your senses and affected your brain and maybe you are imagining everything. After all the rational part of yourself, is trying to remind you that there is no explanation right now as to why she would be here of all places.
However, the next thing you hear is a clear confirmation that your brain is not tricking you, it's not your mind so clouded by her absence, she is here, the only thing keeping you from seeing each other is a wall and a few steps apart. As you hear a familiar voice your heart stops beating and your throat goes dry.
''Not as bad as the accident that brought you into the world'' that is all you heard and although her voice sounds more cold, harsh and raspy you are fully aware that Wilhemina is sitting at the end of that corridor. For a moment your body goes into a state of shock, your ears ringing, vision blurring, and your heart beating out of your chest.
Shortly after the girl what you assume now to be an assistant comes running back towards the corridor with tears in her eyes and her heels making the same clicking sound. She zooms past you and Mr. Odell again and all he says is ''Damn she seems feisty'' and you know it's aimed at Wilhemina and for a moment you debate whether to just turn around and pretend to be sick or needing to answer a phone call but you know you can't back out now, after all, you have missed seeing her for too long now.
All you wanna do is see her adorable orange hair, that you used to run your fingers through and untangle some knots after she had a long day, the dorky glasses that you sometimes made fun of, and beautiful pastel purple probably everywhere if this truly was her workplace after all. ''Come on'' your boss says, pulling you out of your thoughts yet again and you walk into the large room.
Eyes instantly wander to the source of purple in the room and the source of darkness in your heart and emptiness ever since she left but not only does your heart stop for a moment as you take a look at her, you blink a few times, now actually sure whether this is real or some kind of nightmare.
Wilhemina's hair is a much darker shape of red now and styled into a tall sharp quiff, no sign of her usual high ponytails anymore or the lighter and orange shape it used to be. You notice she doesn't wear glasses anymore and you are convinced her eyes look an even darker shape than before too. She is wearing a dress and it's also a very dark shade of purple with matching earrings. Even her makeup is darker, and as you see her sitting by her desk you can't deny how intimidating she seems, looking at some files, her cane resting on the desk right beside her. Even the cane is different now, it has a snake shape at the top and it's not the old plain one she used to have.
For a moment you believe you just walked right into your own personal nightmare, the funny, sometimes sassy, and beautiful girl you used to love now seems like a completely different and somewhat evil person. The Wilhemina you once loved and still have feelings for, as they never truly changed, seems gone and it seems like she was replaced by a new one, a colder version.
She would have never spoken to anyone like that or treated someone the way she just treated that girl that seems to be her assistant, by the looks of it. All the staring and observing Wilhemina happened in a matter of seconds although it feels like an eternity, everything is silent for a moment, all that is to be heard is your own heartbeat and the typing on Wilhemina's keyboard.
You watch as your boss approaches her and you follow him and finally, Wilhemina looks up noticing the presence of someone else in the room and her gaze is focused on him, so she hasn't seen you yet. He tries to shake her hand and says ''My name is Mr. Odell I have an appointment with Mr. Nutter and Mr. Pfister'' and she just looks at him and his hand with a slightly disgusted expression but she doesn't bother shaking his hand.
''Very well'' she says and takes a glance at you for a split second, noticing a second person in the room and her eyes wander back to her laptop thinking you are just some assistant but when she realizes who you are she immediately looks back over to you and she doesn't avert her gaze at first.
Wilhemina takes in your features for a moment, the sense of fashion, dressing smartly and formally but at the same time stunning as she always said, your hair, the improved makeup skills, and still the same details she always loved about you. She doesn't look into your eyes yet and you are interrupted when two men walk over.
One of them has brown hair and the other blonde hair and you try hard not to chuckle when you see them because they look hideous. ''Mr. Odell, nice to meet you'' they say and shake hands. ''This is Y/L/N maybe someone could show her around while we finalize the details?'' your boss suggests, taking you by surprise, and one of the two turns to Wilhemina and says ''Miss Venable would you give this beautiful lady a tour please''.
For a split second, you are convinced, she is about to kill him but you aren't sure if it's about the tour or compliment. ''Of course'' she mumbles and your boss and the two men leave and you are left there with your ex-girlfriend and awkward silence filling the room. You haven't looked up or into her eyes yet and it terrifies you, she terrifies you.
Wilhemina has no idea what to do or how to react after not seeing you for two years and the last time she did she walked out of your life and your relationship. The redhead looks at you and without looking into your eyes yet she knows the pain, she can see it and she can tell this is killing you inside, the last thing she ever wanted was to cause you pain.
You take a deep breath with your eyes closed and turn to Wilhemina and your eyes instantly lock and you look into her dark brown eyes and not leave her gaze for one moment. She takes a few slow steps towards you, her cane hitting the floor, and with every tap and echo in the room, it feels like your heart is ripped into more pieces and your past is here confronting you right at this moment.
''Mina'' is everything you can say but it comes out as a whisper while your voice cracks. Your ex-girlfriend's eyes close right away because she has missed hearing you call her that for the past two years but as she opens her eyes she reminds herself internally, who she is and that she is currently at her workplace.
''Follow me'' she instructs and you follow her while she walks down a corridor and into a room with big machines. While you follow her you can't understand what would have happened to her to turn into this cold-hearted person. She used to be the sweetest and kindest person you knew but clearly, something has changed. You cannot take your eyes off her and as she walks you into the room with machines, she explains about the work they do here and how they do it and as much as you try to focus and look at the things she shows you, you can't and Wilhemina notices.
''Do I bore you?'' she suddenly snaps in that cold voice again, her nostrils flaring and your heart feels like a knife was just thrown right into it. ''I'm sorr- sorry I-'' but you can't even think of a good enough excuse so you just look at the floor and try hard to keep your emotions at bay.
''Anyways, these are the machines and devices we use, whenever someone places a custom order we make sure to fulfill that order as efficient and quick as possible'' Wilhemina explains her voice still stern, sounding like she has given this tour so many times, she has memorized every single word.
However, you do notice her looking at you the entire time she explains and it seems like she wants you to say something but there are too many things that you want and wanted to say to her for years but you never imagined one day you would run into her like this. For several minutes the two of you stand in the rooms with machines, Wilhemina explaining and you trying hard to focus on her words intently.
''Y/N'' you hear the voice of your boss coming from the door, the two strange-looking men behind him, and you look at him, noticing the satisfied looks on their faces, indicating the deal worked well, and he says ''I'm finished, thank you, Miss, for giving her the tour'' he adds now focused on Wilhemina. ''Let's go'' he says and you walk in his direction without looking back at her and just as you are about to walk out of the door you look at her and say ''Thank you'' and then you walk out.
As you walk out of the large office building, back through the same long corridor, and past the front desk, you can't hear anything your boss is trying to say and the entire car ride back to the office you try and wrap your head around what just happened, abandoning every single word Mr. Odell is saying.
''This didn't happen wake up Y/N wake-up Y/N'' you keep repeating in your head but it's no use this is no nightmare this is reality.
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wh6res · 3 years
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UP IN SMOKES — DOYOUNG
psych student! kdy | tw. college au, violence, a knife, GASLIGHTING, hallucination, psychosis, swearing, just pure manipulation, minor charac death, there's a court scene, this is a repost! | wc. 10k she a beast
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life could’ve been simple;
you shouldn't have met kim doyoung.
what does a freshman in college hate the most other than the high-stress levels of moving into a new dorm? a shitty roomie and a smelly, moldy mattress. the girl you call roommate refuses to help move the mattress because it will ruin her new manicure. what a fucking classic. 
"sounds like a 'you' problem. figure it out yourself, plain jane." 
she said before heading out, annoyingly popping her bubblegum as she kicks a few of your scattered boxes by the front door. you roll your eyes; classes haven't even started yet, so why is she already making your life miserable? as much as you'd like to snap at her, you don't, merely glaring daggers at her back as she finally turns the corner of the hallway and disappears. 
"bitch," you mutter under your breath. 
you eye the abomination that is supposed to be your bed, cursing how you shouldn't have made a 15-minute pit stop to starbucks for a drink when you could've just bought one from the instant coffee vending machines in every corner of the hallway of this dorm building because if you didn't, maybe you could've beaten regina george wannabe from taking the better bed. sighing, you suck it up and start getting to work. life's full of shit, anyway; no point sulking.
moving a moldy mattress is easier than you thought, to say the least. you can't ask for help from the other freshmen you bumped into in the hallway because they, too, are under a huge amount of stress from the move and are busy getting their affairs in order. it was a good thing, though, that a committee was formed specifically for this day to help out the freshmen if they were to stumble upon problems or mishaps with moving in. they were all around the campus, and they prove to be way friendlier than your batch mates. since this morning, three people have already offered help in carrying your luggage — which you have politely declined.
"hey, uhm… is this the stall for the welcoming committee? oh, wait. i'm sorry, there's a sign right there —"ugh.
you mentally shut your eyes in humiliation. why do you have to be this bad, this awkward at communicating with strangers? why couldn't you be born like all those socialites who already (probably) got their contacts filled with new numbers on the first day of school or something?
"yeah, this is them — welcoming committee, i mean. how can i help you?" he smiles, sweet, radiating the epitome boy next door aura as he looks up at you from where he's sitting behind the stall. your eyes quickly land onto the name tag stuck on his varsity jacket before meeting his eyes again. 
"i have an issue with my mattress. it has mold, you see..." your voice slowly trails, becoming quieter as you feel small under the weight of his piercing stare. oh, come on. he's just a guy with a beautiful face, woman the fuck up.
"really? let me see..."
he needn't finish rounding the stall when his nose is hit by the pungent smell brought forth by your mattress. frankly, you weren't that picky. you could've covered it with bedsheets and call it a day, but the odor is too strong to ignore. you mentally hope the smell didn't latch onto your clothes, especially not when someone so cute is around — what a bad first impression.
"oh, god!" he exclaims the moment he lays eyes on it, taking a step back. “now, that has to go. and you lugged it from the fourth floor?" 
ah, yes. according to tradition in these dormitories, which you've only found out today, freshmen get the curse of climbing four flights of stairs up while the seniors strut into their rooms on the ground floor like the hallway is a goddamned runway. 
"doyoung! help me carry these!"
someone calls his name as you both turn your head to spot a chestnut-haired girl clad in the same varsity jacket he's wearing. you grimace at the sight of her. for someone so small, she just had to volunteer to carry all those heavy bags. however, he doesn't move in front of you and brushes her off as if she doesn't look like she's carrying rocks over her shoulders. "i'm already helping someone else! go find taeyong or something. i'm sure that shit's loitering around here somewhere!"
"oh, it's okay, you can go help her. i'll just look for someone else —"
"nah, it's fine!" you try hard to school your face into indifference when you notice his gummy smile. "plus… trust me when i say no other person from the committee will help you with this. this shit smells like my roommate's sweaty basketball socks!"
you can't help the smile forming on your face as you help him carry the mattress off to the side of the hallway, the stinky thing leaning vertically against the wall and behind a huge terracotta plant pot. "don't worry, let's report it to student affairs so they'll get you a new one. congrats! you'll have to share beds with your new roommate tonight, freshie. it'd be a great ice breaker."
the universe truly hates you.
your expression must've been a dead give away because he's suddenly patting your shoulder, regarding you with utmost sympathy. "been there, done that. i hated taeyong, too, when i met him last year. still, for some mind fuck of a miracle, we've grown to be friends and developed a talent of not wanting to kill each other every two seconds."
"highly doubt i'd be friends with a regina george-level bitch, but thanks, anyway," you mutter under your breath. suddenly, you whip your head towards him after internalizing what he just said. "you met your roommate last year? you're a sophomore?"
he scoffs, leaning down to your height to lowly mutter against your ear as he eyes the lobby's front desk. "why? do i look like some 4th year who radiates 'don't touch me' energy?" 
you feel the heat on your cheeks with how close he is, only releasing an exhale when he finally gets out of your personal space. "i'm kim doyoung. you've heard it from wendy earlier, but anyway — i'm a 2nd-year psych major."
"no way!" you exclaim, a little too excited. "i'm taking psych, too!"
"oh, you are? well, if you need anything or if you don't understand stuff…" he winks. "feel free to approach me anytime."
hmm… how sweet of him. 
it was only hours later that you found out who kim doyoung is in your department during the acquaintance party. and for god's sake, you found out from your best friend who is a major in english lit and has never even seen the guy. "seriously, you didn't know he's a genius? i hear the professors call him a prodigy, girl! a fucking prodigy. if i were you, i'd ask for his help in every subject."
"you know i prefer keeping to myself. how'd i know stuff like that when i have no one to talk to in the psych dorms?" you look down, making the ice cubes in your drink clink against each other. "i didn't think he was this big shot or whatever. he looks normal, and everyone treats him normally."
"well, what do you expect?" she hisses, hitting your arm. "the other students don't want to make him feel alienated or something just because he's tons smarter than them. but anyway… the real question is…"
you roll your eyes when she pauses for effect, tentatively leaning closer to whisper under her breath. 
"is he cute?"
you didn't want to answer her question, but he's been stuck in your head since he offered walking with you to the student affairs office. doyoung had smiled his cute gummy smile and had even ruffled your hair before leaving you for committee duties — saying he's cute would be an understatement. 
"you have no idea."
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for his first act;
he gains your trust.
fast forward to one year, many things have changed, but the only constant remaining is the handsome sophomore — who is now a 3rd-year, by the way — whom you've met on your first day. coursework has been pretty tough this year. instead of the content written in your textbook, your mind is plagued by the horrible twist of fate your best friend had encountered; she didn't have enemies. or so you thought.
she disappeared in the middle of christmas break last year. her beaten up body was found only a month later, in january, floating around the university's lake. happy fucking new year. 
the first time she chose to spend the holidays with you instead of her family back in her hometown, and that happens? some rotten luck you both have. it's why you didn't put it past her family to hate your guts with strong convictions. it's okay. the feeling's mutual. after all, it had been your best friends' own family, the same ones who had been so willing to take you in when you got kicked out, that were so eager to pin you as the murderer of their child. all under the argument that you have been the last person seen with her. 
oh, the things her mom said about you when she had stormed into the police station, red in the face, tears streaming down her cheeks..."i warned my baby not to hang out with that — that bitch. came straight out of a cursed family, that one. abusive dad, a nutjob mom. that bitch is a danger! probably got her dad's nasty temper and beat my baby to death! i want her on the electric chair!"
in those times, you once again realize this world is fucked up and cruel in every bit of its glory as you fought tooth and nail to defend yourself. but even then, they never believed you — the law will only favor the rich . the prosecution had been so sure it was you until a certain witness appeared and presented himself before the jury.
"do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?" 
doyoung raises his right hand, fixing his stare straight at the judge. "i solemnly and sincerely declare that the evidence i shall give will be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth."
"how long have you known the defendant?" the prosecutor asks, arms crossed in front of her chest as she paces in front of the witness stand.
the boy briefly meets your gaze, and it's enough to make his heart sink. doyoung can't bear seeing you in those grey overalls when he knows it himself. you're being accused of a crime you didn't commit. "i've known her for one year."
"how'd you meet?"
and the questions went on and on; your defense attorney isn't all too keen on winning the case and had never once yelled "objection!" in her seat, but what could you expect? all the evidence kept stacking against you, and some of those you knew were even fabricated. you've never felt this hopeless in your whole twenty years of living. 
"what's the point in this, anyway?" doyoung snapped in the witness stand, fiercely glaring at the prosecutor. "how is my history — or lack thereof — with the defendant any relevant to the case? you're not even asking me about evidence nor what my statement is!"
"easy there," the prosecutor retaliates, jaw locked. "i have to first measure what exactly your relationship is with the defendant for us to think twice about your statement. who knows..." the prosecutor makes a grand gesture of turning her head in your direction, affixing you with a condescending stare. "she might've just hired you to say these things."
your attorney doesn't come to your aid.
"perjury isn't my thing." 
the prosecutor seems to have taken offense by the tone of doyoung's voice, but he doesn't let her speak further. "the victim isn't all sunshine and rainbows, you know. she'd been a part of a sorority and one with quite a nasty reputation in the college, too. i have to say she made very poor decisions, ones i'm sure her family didn't even know about. you see, they take their oaths and pledges very seriously. the victim wanted out. they didn't like that."
"and you have evidence to support this claim?"
without a moment to waste, he digs around the front pocket of his jeans before proudly presenting a black usb between his slender fingers. "knock yourself out."
the professor calls your name, snapping you out of your reverie. this isn't the first time your mind had transported you back to that particular day in the courtroom, where doyoung had swooped in and saved you from a lifetime in prison. the whole ordeal had been so scary, so frightening that you remember everything vividly as if it had only happened yesterday.
the classroom is empty. even your social psych professor has long packed up his stuff and is already standing by the classroom door. damn. were you that out of it?
"i'm so sorry." you mutter under your breath monotonously as you walk past him and out the door without another word. this is bad, very bad. no one would help, much less lend their notes to someone charged with murder — especially of their very own best friend. whether you were innocent or not doesn't matter to the student body. you've been ostracized, gossips of your problematic family spreading like wildfire, and the ridiculous part is only a fourth of the gossips are true.
the damage is done. 
at this point, you realize with a heavy heart that you have to face doyoung again sooner or later. you haven't talked to him at all since the start of the new school year, ignoring his lighthearted greetings in the hallways, rejecting his calls, ghosting his texts. you are afraid people would judge him harshly for hanging around you. frankly, you were embarrassed to ask any more favors from him with how much he's done for you already and the fact that he had seen you in such a state of vulnerability.
but you also didn't want to fail your subjects and lose the one thing holding your life together — your scholarship.
that is why you found yourself standing before him, in his favorite spot in the library tucked behind shelves upon shelves of books, next to the windows overlooking the empty football field. he's wearing black-rimmed glasses and is clad in the usual navy blue sweater as his head turns to and fro between a textbook and his notebook. the air had been so silent, you hear the aggressive scratches his pencil makes against the paper.
you feel a little hurt when he makes no move to acknowledge your presence, but you think back to what you have been doing and figured he has a right to act this way. 
"hey, doyoung." your voice is meek, hesitant.
"if you're not here to explain nor give me an acceptable reason why you've been ignoring me for the last few months, then please get out of my sight. i'm busy, as you can tell." he is brutally honest, knocking down the remaining hope you have left of ever reconciling with him.
something within you snaps, the steady streams of tears running down your cheeks as you pinned your stare on doyoung's open pencil case lying on the table. you have nobody left. your family — father, specifically speaking — has disowned you for taking a course your heart wanted, and the one friend you have lies motionless in a white coffin buried six feet under the ground. you didn't want to lose doyoung, too, no matter what role he plays in your life.
"i'm sorry," your voice cracks. "life's been… fucking shitty, and i'm sure you of all people know what i've been through. i've thanked you before for — for what you did, and i'm thanking you again right now but — i'm sorry, i'm really —"
your voice cracks when you feel him pulling you into an embrace. you feel the tension in your body breaking loose as you crumble in his arms. all those months grieving and wallowing in self-pity took such a heavy toll that you can't help but tightly clutch the sides of his hoodie, scared he'll slip through your fingers.
one of his hands comes up to push your face against the crook of his neck, muffling your cries in the silent library. doyoung felt like a jerk for snapping at you the way he did. how inconsiderate can he be? however, he felt elated because you sought him out yourself and wanted his help of all people.
his eyebrow raises in amusement. 
well, not that you have a choice, anyway.
it took you a few good minutes to calm down, cringing when you see the wet patch on doyoung's sweater because of your tears. 
"why don't you tell me everything, hmm? i'll help you as much as i can."
you sheepishly look down, fiddling with your fingers as you sit across him, the open textbook and notebook before him long forgotten. "well, i've been so out of it lately? my mind's just a whole bloody mess and i can't focus on any of my subjects at all and if i can't, then i'll lose the scholarship and it's the only thing i have in my life right now —"
"hey," doyoung cuts you off, placing a warm hand against your forearm to calm you down. "you won't lose that scholarship. trust me, okay? why don't we arrange tutoring sessions and i'll even lend you some of my notes from last year. what do you think?"
"okay... thank you, doyoung."
"for the record, you have me in your life, too. i'll always be here for you."
in the first session, you woke up from your deep slumber with only 15 minutes to spare from the scheduled time, but thankfully, your tutor only lives one floor down with the rest of the 3rd-years. bringing nothing with you but a pen and a pad of paper, your textbooks were destroyed as some students from your batch thought it'd be fun to throw them into the lake to "honor" your friend. 
you offer a small smile when taeyong opens the door, sporting an oversized shirt and track pants, eyes wide in shock when he sees you. "hi? can i help you?"
"hello! i'm here for doyoung. he's tutoring —"
"he doesn't live here anymore. his mom bought him a place outside the campus."
what?
"i'm sorry for disturbing you, then. do you by any chance know where he lives?"
that's weird. doyoung never mentioned he's already moved out. you feel a wee bit irritated that he forgot to tell you; it would've saved you the embarrassment of interacting with the varsity player. you weren't stupid, you can see the hints of repulsion in taeyong's eyes the moment he opened that door and saw you standing before him, no doubt thinking about: oh, look, it's the crazy murderer with a fucked up family standing in front of me.
he had shut the door in your face. you stood awkwardly for a good minute in the hallway until the door reopens, taeyong handing you a small piece of paper with doyoung's new address scribbled hurriedly in black ink. he doesn't give you a chance to thank him for he's already closed the door again without another word. 
you opted walking to his place instead of catching a ride because the money you have on you is enough to buy yourself dinner. to say the least, the apartment building is mediocre, not too grand, nor is it too rundown. double-checking the floor level written on the paper before pushing the elevator's button, you then realize doyoung lives on the very top floor of the building.
the hallways are painted a boring brown. some acrylic number signs plastered on the doors are broken, hanging vertically with one screw left. it says on the paper he resides in room 720. taking the right hallway, you mentally count as you eye the mahogany doors. 718… 719… there it is!
when you raise a fist to start knocking on his door, there is a tinge of hesitation surging through you. perhaps being alone with a boy in his apartment is not the best setting for a girl like you should end up in, but this is doyoung we're talking about. if he had ill intentions for you, it would've manifested a long time ago. you shake your head, feeling bad for thinking of him that way as you slowly knock on his front door. not long after, it swings open, revealing the 3rd-year in a white shirt and boxers as he lazily dries his hair off with a small towel. 
"you're late," is the first thing he says to you before spinning on his heel to disappear further into his humble abode. 
"you didn't exactly inform me you've moved out of the dorms. so, whose fault is it?" you retaliate, inviting yourself in and closing the front door shut.
"whatever. let's get started!" he plops himself on the floor, coffee table filled with loose papers as he struggles to find a specific one amongst the mess. "i've already scanned, exported to pdf, and emailed you my notes. it should be in your inbox by now. anyway, answer this quiz i made so i know what i'll be working on."
"you didn't really have to send your notes, doyoung. i could've just read everything from the textbook," you sit down across from him because otherwise, you'll be too distracted to remember information. 
a thought crosses his mind. with what textbook?
"i just think it's missing some essence. that's why i love reading over other psych books in the library for fun. be grateful, those notes are like my babies and i don't simply give them to anyone," he looks at you pointedly. "they've all been summarized and explained in layman's terms so you wouldn't have to spend grueling hours of reading and trying to make sense of the big words as i did — i know that's not the definition of 'fun' normally, but it is for me, and that's why i do it."
"okay, doyoung. you sound so defensive when there's nothing to be defensive about," you tease, feeling pleased with the hint of red on his cheeks as he averts his gaze from yours, muttering incoherent words under his breath.
you spent the following tuesdays, thursdays, and sundays like that; hours upon hours with no one but your tutor, laptops with tangled chargers, a printed copy of his babies, and a mountain pile of loose papers filled with the specialized quizzes doyoung makes to measure your progress. the location varies from a cafe or his flat. but in what you've gathered from the time you spent with him, doyoung's a homebody. cafe tutor sessions are rare, and he always complained about how "noisy" the atmosphere was — "i can't stand it."
but the conversation hadn't always been about academics. 
sure, for the first few sessions, doyoung kept an image of professionalism and had heavily insisted on it — "it's for your learning experience!" — despite your lighthearted teasing. but as time passed and he eventually grew more comfortable in your presence, you find the strict 15-minute break he had initially imposed between 45 minutes of studying turned into hours of talking about whatever; how he likes his eggs in the morning, your favorite coffee brew, his favorite show, your strongest pet peeve. 
and you wholly welcomed the change, not minding that it's practically dark out whenever you go back to your miserable dorm. you feel butterflies in your stomach whenever doyoung offers to walk you home but never had you taken his offer, still cautious of other people seeing you both together despite his constant reassurances. you've already thoroughly ruined your image. you didn't want to ruin his, too. 
kdy the cute tutor, 2:14 pm —last day of midterms! & its all majors today  —good luck —remember what i taught u —lets get ice cream after u cant say no
you shake your head bemusedly. his texting style is the most doyoung thing he does and it's as if you can hear him say these things to you in real life. too caught up in your own world, you fail to detect another student sitting next to you and had nearly fallen off your chair in shock when they spoke.
"why are your notes like that?"
you fight the urge to glare at the person, especially when you turn your head and see lee jeno looking at you in genuine curiosity. he's the only batchmate that treats you a wee bit nicer among the rest. although he isn't technically your friend, at least he doesn't look at you like you're a piece of bubblegum stuck under his shoe like all the others.
"what do you mean?"
"they're… the definitions are all jumbled up. where did you even get that?" 
what? jumbled up? doyoung himself said these notes are a combination of most of the psychology books he had read last year concerning his subjects. how would it be jumbled up? then again, lee jeno was not tutored by the prodigy himself. maybe things are bound to seem "jumbled up" when information is too great to understand for a feeble mind. 
just as you were about to claim these notes aren't yours, the professor has already waltzed into the classroom with a thick wad of papers — the exams. after one last concerned glance directed your way, jeno averts his gaze with a confused tilt of the head. 
hours later, you walk out of the classroom with the biggest smile on your face. aced it, you thought. your hands feel numb with how much you wrote on the essay portion but it's worth it if it meant you get the full 25 points, which you no doubt will as it was a topic you surely tackled with doyoung. speaking of... he sure is a man of his word.
"what are you doing here?" you hiss, head ducked with hair framing your face as to not draw attention from the rest of the students filing out of the testing hall.
"i texted you that we're getting ice cream. remember?"
"i did. but i didn't remember agreeing."
he shoots you a comforting smile, planting his hands firmly on your shoulder. “i told you, y/n. i don't care if they all see us together, so what? we all know you didn't commit that crime and it wasn't your fault you were born into the family you had. i don't care about the trivial things, baby, so don't shy away from me, okay?"
how the fuck can you say 'no' when he's looking at you the way he is as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear? doyoung's just so bewitching that he has you wrapped around his slender fingers. he seems pleased when you stumbled over your words as you come up with a reply, caught off guard by his bold gestures.
"i just — you, uhh — fine..." you gave in, rolling your eyes out of pretense.
he just had to call you 'baby' and erupt the butterflies in your stomach.
it had been doing that for the last few months now and it had only truly manifested today when he took you out for ice cream to celebrate the end of hell week. and since you didn't want to go back to your dorm yet, you asked if you guys can watch some movies in his house but it had simply become background noise to your heart-to-heart talks. and what better accompaniment than the classic, chicken and beer?
you listen to him drone on and on about the little realizations he had on some of his past lectures even when you barely understood anything he's saying. doyoung's so lucky to be extremely good at something he's so passionate about, talks about the human mind and the complexity of a person's behavior will never fail to make his eyes light up in interest.
he calls out your name.
your eyes snap open.
"why don't we get you home? it's past 10 and it's alright, stupid, you don't need to pretend to be interested in my psychological findings." he chuckled light-heartedly, stealing the can of the now room-temperature beer from your hands before you can protest. 
"i wasn't dozing off, i swear."
"i caught you in the act. stop lying."
like all the other times he has you as his guest, doyoung once again offers to walk you home and you decline for the thousandth time. it really isn't that much of a long walk anyway. you don't see the need for him to go out of his way to secure your safety. plus, you were the one who insisted on hanging out in his house anyway. you weren't that thick-skinned to let him take you home, too.
"you're drunk!" he scolds.
“no, i’m not. i can perfectly handle myself."
"but —"
"bye!" 
you feel a little guilty for shutting the door in his face. still, a minute longer of his persistence and you would've taken his offer. unfortunately for doyoung, you are one stubborn girl. only if you don't make brisk movements with your head, then you won't see doubles. you'll be fine, it's just a quick walk and it's not as if you're stupid enough to pass by deserted alleys. 
but you had underestimated the divine prowess of your fucked up fate.
everything happened in a matter of three seconds; one, the blinding headlights illuminate your path from behind; two, you hear the loud honk, and as you turn around — three, the vehicle sends you rolling against the asphalt.
you should have taken the alleyways.
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for his second act;
he alters your reality.
when you open your eyes, you thought you were dead and your spirit is wandering elsewhere — because you don't believe in trivial things like heaven and god — until an agitated doyoung comes into view. for a split second, you thought, is he dead, too?
"i'm not dead, you idiot." too dazed, you hardly register his anger. "i can perfectly handle myself, she said. i'm not drunk, she said. this wouldn't have happened if you had simply let me walk you home! you're damn fucking lucky you're alive and breathing right now!"
a person clears their throat.
"i don't think it wise to… nag at the patient the moment she wakes. don't you agree, sir?"
pink splotches on doyoung's cheek as he looks down, embarrassed at getting scolded as he stands closer to your bed. "i'm sorry, doc."
you didn't know when your vision cleared or when you started hearing normally again, but it was enough to find out what exactly had transpired on the very night of your tragic accident. a hit and run. fifty-fifty chance of surviving. doyoung getting a call from the hospital in the middle of the night —"they were trying to contact your dad, but he wasn't answering. i was the last person in your call history." 
six months in a coma. but today, you wake… only to find out your world has crashed and burned.
"what do you mean i lost my scholarship?"
"baby, listen to me —"
"why did they take it away? is it because of my accident? i'm behind by one term only and i swear i can catch up. they need to let me back in the program. there must've been some mistake —"
"your gpa didn't reach the cut-off grade."
that can't be possible.
"but you tutored me!" you claim with conviction, pointing an accusatory finger at him until you groan, bowing in pain as you clutch your head.
doyoung springs into action. the chair's legs screech against the tiles as he jumps to your aid, ushering you gently back against the hospital bed despite your refusal. "you're not well. lay back down, please."
you don't hear a single word he says, not when you had lost something so crucial. "i put in the effort and learned everything you taught me... i aced those fucking mid-terms! i know i did!" you were on the brink of tearing up as doyoung settled himself in front of you.
"i… i actually saw your papers," his lips set in a thin, hard-line. "everything was all wrong, sweetheart. what happened to you? i tried reasoning with the professors, mentioned your state — you know, with your best friend dying — but they didn't relent. i'm sorry y/n. i'm so —"
gone. everything is gone. the money. the dorm. what if they ask you to pay the fees from last year? what if they ask you to pay the tuition fee for this year? you have no money, no family, no relatives. no one to help. who's even going to pay for the hospital fees?
you weren't able to process anything after that. not with the sudden news of your now revoked scholarship. doyoung pulls you in a tight hug. "i was a bad tutor," he says, snapping you out of it. "maybe i shouldn't have pushed you that hard to learn them. why were your answers even mixed up y/n? i thought you knew those topics already…"
he pulls away, observing your confused state as your eyes dart everywhere in the room. "what — how are they mixed up? i know i got them right. there has to be some mistake. you taught me those topics, remember?"
"i did... "he averts his gaze. "but i don't remember teaching them to you mixed up, darling. i think you did that all on your own."
"but… why would i mix up my answers? that's —"
"see, what i mean?" he cuts you off, raising a hand to give your cheek the most delicate caress. "you're not well, baby. you need to be treated, especially with how much you hit your head during the accident. don't worry, i'm here. we'll try asking if you can stay in the dorms at least until you find another place —"
"am i a charity case to you?"
oh, the surprise on the junior's face when you push him away as you pin him with a hard stare. you just don't get it. why is kim doyoung so adamant about helping you? in becoming your hero, even when you never asked him to be? if you let him help you this time around, that'll be the 3rd time he came to save your ass. it's not as if you're ungrateful. simply, you've had enough of his help. you don't know how a person like you, who literally has nothing, can return the favor to someone like doyoung.
"what are you saying —"
"i'm saying…" you fix him a hard stare. "you helping me out doesn't even benefit you in the slightest. so why do you do it?"
he pauses, staring at you with hesitance in his eyes as this seems to be the very first time you've truly seen him speechless. when doyoung opens his mouth, he mumbles, and you hardly make sense of what he said. 
"do you really want to know why?" 
you urge him on with an arched eyebrow, his softened tone creeping into your heart. 
"you're someone special to me y/n. i don't know how or when i admitted it to myself, but you are, and it hurts me to see how shitty your luck is," he cracks a small grin, slowly settling back onto the hospital bed as he grabs your hand. "it's okay to seek help from others. it isn't a sign of vulnerability or weakness. i help you because i want to, and i'm more than willing to take care of you. will you let me?"
you're not blind. you've noticed the way he had slowly started coming closer as he continued to speak, hands held securely in his as he looked straight at your eyes then down at your lips. and so, you act in a way you know that will surely answer his question — with a kiss. 
the man before you immediately reciprocates, overpowering your own eagerness as he curls the tips of his fingers into the roots of your hair. he pulls you close, cradling you against his chest. you can taste his desperation in the way his tongue dances against yours, the kiss transporting you into an alternate reality where your world revolves around doyoung and doyoung alone. 
when he pulls away bleary-eyed, both of you ignore the thin strand of saliva connecting your lips. "how about you come live with me for the time being, my love?"
still high off his kiss and natural scent, you hardly mull over the question he asks you. "okay."
days later, after you've been discharged (he wanted to chip in for your hospital bills but you had given him a firm no), doyoung had been the one to show up at the dorm to collect all your things after leaving you in his apartment. the cutie had refused to simply drop you off and had deliberately accompanied you up the elevator, through the halls, and finally into his apartment. 
"i'll be out for just a minute, sugarcube."
"oh, can you get take out?"
doyoung had smiled, playfully booping the tip of your nose. "no, because i'll be cooking for us tonight as a little celebration for you getting discharged. you'll love it; i'm making your favorite!"
it was funny how the night had been nothing but utter bliss. the foreign feeling of being taken care of sprouting in your chest as you watch him cooking from behind the counter. it felt… nice. but funny enough, as if doing a 360, you both had immediately gotten into an argument the next day. 
"i don't see the need for skipping another day if i feel perfectly fine! i'll figure something out once we get there, doyoung, so can we just —"
"you' re not fine, babylove — hell, you got discharged yesterday! i'm not just about to let you back into the arena with those students. they've only grown more immature since your coma, love. i seriously don't want you near them."
"fine! then i won't talk to them. simple." you throw your hands up. "there. problem solved. now, can we please just go to uni? i need to talk to the dean and the head of student affairs, too —"
"i'm going to uni, not you."
maybe it had been the way he firmly stated his claim, the way his eyes pierced through your soul as if daring you to argue further with him that made you snap.
"i'm not a prisoner in this apartment, doyoung! don't treat me like i have the plague! i'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself — jesus christ, i've been doing it nearly half my fucking life!"
too caught up in your anger, you've failed to notice the tears pouring down his face as he sets his gaze on the floor. 
"you're right," his voice cracks. "i shouldn't be pushy like that. i'm sorry. you just mean so much to me and i'm so scared of losing you again. with your coma — i just — it's like i was fighting a losing battle each day that passed when i saw you in that hospital bed. i've never felt so scared in my whole life and i hated myself for not being able to protect you that night."
his tears run like waterfalls, and when you step forward with your arms wide open, doyoung sobs harder as he pulls you against him. you hardly comprehend what he says as he spoke, shaking against your frail body as you felt his tears stain your blouse. "i'm sorry, i never should've dictated what you felt — i'm so sorry."
"no, it's okay. i was feeling a little lightheaded, anyway. i'll stay here and i can come back to school next semester, right? doyoung? just… please stop crying."
he lifts his head, staring at you with bloodshot eyes before giving your forehead a kiss. you let a relieved sigh escape your lips, melting into his warmth as you prop your chin on his shoulder. if you had only been more attentive, you would've seen the reflection of his wicked grin on the tabletops. too easy.
living with him became a blur after that incident. everything fell into a routine for the next four days as you spent the day watching netflix, eating, reading, sleeping. nothing felt fun anymore. but your peaceful life had ceased during the fifth night — the whispers, they woke you up. you can hear them from behind your door at night, and when you rouse awake, you see doyoung walking around the hallway from the tiny gap at the bottom of the door. you had sighed, falling back into your plush bed as you pray to god, he keeps it down. 
but what he told you the next day rendered you speechless. "me, walking around the hallways? whispers?" he says, confused. "i was already asleep, love. knocked out cold the moment my body fell on the bed."
"but…"
he doesn't spare you a glance as he takes his sweet time skimming through his notes on the dining table, coffee in one hand. "maybe it's just the meds kicking in."
"no, surely it was real! i literally woke up in the middle of the night," you repeat. "it's okay if it was you, doyoung. i'm not mad."
he sets his coffee mug down a little too loud. 
"well, you can't be mad at me, sugar, because like i said — it wasn't me," it doesn't take a genius to notice he's awfully cranky today. you observe him, dark half-moons under his eyes as he relentlessly reads his notes with instant coffee in one hand. 
"you're just imagining things, okay? stop acting crazy."
for some reason, the way he had uttered certain words like 'imagining' and 'crazy' made you curl into your seat in embarrassment. he was right that your doctor did prescribe a generous amount of pills per day, but his tone made it feel off, made you feel like there was something wrong with you even when there wasn't… 
right?
you didn't say a word after that and had hesitantly pecked him on the cheek before he left for school. with the amount of time you're with him, two things stood out to you — his keen sense of observation and his knack for reading people. you highly doubt he didn't notice a shift in your behavior but a part of you thinks it's just the stress talking. he is about to take his finals and had recently started on his research paper. 
every psych student is required to present a paper in accordance with the department's annual theme. it could be anything from proposing a theory (if you dare) to constructing a well-developed psychology model. if you don't turn one in, you don't graduate — the paper's that important, and you've been bugging him for so long about sneaking a peek on what his study is about. but he always refused. 
the next week came rolling around, and both of you had been spending every day together due to the semestral break. the arguments have significantly lessened, but your episodes — eventually, you started calling it that way because that's how doyoung labels it — have only gotten worse. you end up moving out of the guest room and into his. privacy be damned. the whispers stopped momentarily but what came next became your imminent downfall.
the first time you heard it, you thought you were dreaming. but the doorknob kept rattling aggressively even as you sat up. just as you climb off the bed, your half-asleep boyfriend asks where you're going. 
"bathroom," you lied.
you were always the one to snort when it comes to the supernatural, claiming it's all bullshit. yet, as whatever outside continues to fight its way inside the room, the rattling progressing into loud bangs against the door, you're not so sure of your beliefs anymore. you're not crazy. nothing is wrong with you, and you're perfectly fine. this apartment is cursed, and you are going to prove that to doyoung.
grabbing your phone from the bedside table, you turn the flash on, pointing the camera at the door as you take a footage of the mad entity that has been playing games with you. a squeal escapes your lips when a particular bang! reverberates louder in the room than all the others. the phone slips your hand, falling onto the floorboards. you don't bother to retrieve it as you scramble to get yourself back under the blanket and into doyoung's comfortable warmth.
you snuggle yourself plush against his chest, shaking as you wrap your arms around his waist, inhaling his natural scent to anchor you back. 
bang! bang! bang!
you didn't get a wink of sleep last night.
"can't the video wait? there's a new episode of start-up, and i want to watch it already!" he whines, shoving his face further on the throw pillow situated on your lap.
you giggle, shaking your head as you scroll through your gallery to find the video. i'm not imagining things. i'm not hallucinating. i'm not crazy. "here! watch... i'm telling you this apartment is haunted, and the ghost probably likes you, which is why it doesn't bother you —"
your lighthearted rambling cuts off when you notice no sound emitting from your phone. weird. you could've sworn you started recording right when the loud banging has already started. your heart drops upon the wary stare doyoung shoots you before he continues to watch the video. 
no, no, no, no — please!
you quickly scoot over to his side, watching as the video unfolds before your very eyes. the shot was messy as the phone was handheld, not to mention you were panicking at the time. but the video is silent. not a single noise of a rattling doorknob or banging on the door can be heard through your phone's speakers. 
"maybe — maybe you didn't turn the volume up?"
you hardly contain the mortification in your face when you realize the volume's at 100 already. and as if on cue, your squeal is heard in the video and the noise of the phone hitting the floor.
doyoung's silence shakes your whole being. as you kneel before him teary-eyed, your voice breaks. "i swear, i'm not crazy."
but at this point, you don't believe yourself anymore.
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for his third and final act;
he triumphs.
his deprivation began in minuscule ripples. 
it didn't take much effort on doyoung's end to convince you to stop studying for a year or two, at least, only until your hallucinations aren't as severe anymore. everyday felt like hell on earth as the fine line between what's real and what isn't has blurred over one too many times. in sheer paranoia of accidentally hurting him in his sleep, you moved out of his bedroom and had started sleeping in the guest room again — much to doyoung's frustration. 
but he's a smart man, one that recognizes an opportunity amidst the hurdles thrown on his path.
"why does my door need a lock outside again?"
he approaches you, who’s sitting cross-legged on the bed, after screwing in the last of the screws that came with the new doorknob. doyoung is familiar with the look written on your face, has observed and studied you enough to navigate his way inside your pretty little head with ease.
he can't have you doubting him, can he?
"you know i'm all about protecting you, right?" he starts. you nodded. "i've been doing it for a year now, and i will continue to do so until you need me to. the world is a bad place, sweetheart, remember? your own best friend's mother tried framing you. your dad disowned you. you've been ostracized in the whole college... do you think i'm just like the rest of them, baby?"
doyoung has already mastered the perfect expression of a kicked-puppy, one that easily pulls at your heartstrings and has you cooing at him.
"no!" you say with conviction, reaching forward to thread your fingers through his. "i know you're different, not like any of them at all. i know you're only doing what's… best for me."
he ignores the underlying hesitance in your tone. that will be corrected, sooner or later.
doyoung tightens his hold as he kisses the back of your hand. such an innocent gesture — but such ill intentions.
"the outside lock helps me in protecting you, love. you don't need to worry about anything. just focus on getting better, alright? i'll keep the bad guys away from you."
it was during his first semester of senior year, a few months back, doyoung and a good few students of his batch had been granted the opportunity to intern for a mental hospital located near the edge of the city. he was supposed to decline the offer but you convinced him to take the spot. it had only been a two-week “job” yet it was enough for doyoung to conclude — he’d rather kill you than subject you to the horrors of what the patients have to go through in the loony bin. 
eventually, the small ripples shift into unforgiving waves, dragging you into the depths as everything comes crashing down before your very own eyes.
it should have been like any other day inside the apartment. doyoung's already gone in the morning to attend classes. though not before setting a tray of your brunch on the nightstand, making sure to lock your door on his way out. he knew your nightmares and anxiety kept you up at night, resulting in longer hours of sleep during the day. 
turns out, you moving out of his bedroom had been a blessing in disguise. coming home to an empty apartment has become his biggest fear yet, and you unconsciously found a solution for him. one that doesn’t have him fidgeting on his seat as he counts down the minutes ‘til he’s back by your side.
doyoung smiles unconsciously as he listens to his professor drone on and on in front of him — his mind at peace, knowing you're safe and sound in your little prison.
until he received a text that made his blood run cold.
ty, 11:34 am —im done.
meanwhile, you rouse awake once more to thunderous poundings against your bedroom door. oh no, you thought. it's happening again. this time, there'll be no doyoung barging into your room, half-asleep and hair messy, as he tries to calm you down. you throw the blankets over you as you sob, hugging your legs against your chest as you try to 'wake yourself up' from the hallucination.
the person outside calls for your name, the desperation in their tone alighting a new-found fear in your heart. you don't know what's real anymore. is this truly happening, or is it another hallucination your fucked up mind has conjured up?
"please! it's taeyong! y/n, can you hear me?"
taeyong?
slowly, your head peaks above the blanket, warily staring at the door. doyoung has warned you about these kinds of things, has practically ingrained in your mind that whoever comes looking for you will take you away from him. not to mention, doyoung slipped one time and said he isn’t friends with taeyong anymore.
the banging on the door progresses.
“are you in there? answer me! i can’t find the key!”
you don’t say anything, merely pushing the covers off your body as you keep your eyes fixed on the beating door. it looks like it’s about to pop out its hinges as taeyong relentlessly fights his way inside your room. what are you going to do? do you open the door? oh. right. you can’t do that on your own accord. the key is with doyoung and he isn’t in the apartment at the moment.
all your thoughts come to a halt when the boy outside sends the door flying open, finally breaking the lock with one powerful kick. you flinch back, his actions pushing you on your feet, wanting to place a maximum amount of distance from the intruder. 
taeyong looks frantic, disheveled as he immediately notices your alarmed state. he approaches you cautiously, hands up to show his empty palms. “hey, hey… it’s just me, y/n. i’m not going to hurt you. i’m not the enemy here.”
“doyoung doesn’t know you’re here, does he?”
the look of surprise on his face is an answer in itself. for someone doyoung had proudly claimed to have “broken” you’re still quite quick to catch up on things, taeyong observed. and he doesn’t know what to feel about it — pity? guilt?
“that’s not important!” he claims, boldly surging forward to grasp your shoulders with a firm grip. taeyong felt his heart dropping when you flinch under his grasp. 
“listen to me. we need to get you out of here. doyoung isn’t — he isn’t everything you thought he is!” he can’t help but raise his voice, panic surging through him because there’s not much time left and you aren’t exactly cooperating. you’ve been trying to shrug off his hold the whole time. 
“do you think he actually loves you?”
“he does! stop saying bullshit!”
“doyoung never loved anyone and you want to know why? because he’s too in love with his research to care for anything else!” taeyong felt bad to have been so direct, especially when he sees the tears now falling freely down your cheeks. “listen to me, y/n! i’m not the enemy! if there’s anyone you should be pushing away, it’s doyoung! he turned you into his lab rat! you are nothing but a variable in his study! don’t you get it?”
taeyong grabs a firm but gentle hold of your head, trying to make you look at him straight in the eye for the gravity of what he’s about to say to you.
“doyoung had his eye on you since sophomore year. i told him this was a bad idea and that he should change the topic of the research and he was. fucking hell, he was about to scrap the whole thing until your bestfriend died and did you know what that psycho told me? that it was a sign for him to continue the research! and i’ve been pestering him so much that he moved out because he claimed i was going to get in the way of his discovery.
tell you what, if you can tell me right here, right now, that he has mentioned anything — anything at all — about his study to you then everything i’m saying is a lie.”
you have asked doyoung for the longest time about that research but the answers have always been the same. “not yet, my love. it’s not time for it to be seen with your eyes. soon, okay?”
with a voice not louder than a whisper, you ask. “what… what’s his research about?”
you fail to see the sorry look on taeyong’s face. “in psychology, they say a person only develops psychosis mainly through genetics or drugs. although you’re technically already a worthy “lab rat” considering your mom and upbringing, he wanted to expand the external factors of what causes the disorder — grief, grades, toxic family relations…”
you hear a ringing in your ear and a sudden urge to throw up. only, you didn’t have anything to hurl because your brunch remains untouched on your bedside. 
“but he hadn’t been successful. and that’s… that’s where i came along. doyoung thought the medications he’s been giving you isn’t doing what he wanted it to and he knew he needed a little push. i was… i gave him that push. remember the whispers, the banging on the door at night? it was all me. he made me do it. you know what that means, right? you’re not crazy. you don’t need to stay here cooped up like some kind of pet, believing all his lies as if it’s written in a fucking bible —”
he stops. and if he hadn’t, you wouldn’t’ve heard the familiar beeps of the front door’s automated lock going off. doyoung’s home. 
in lightning speed, taeyong has you sheltered behind him, throwing his warm coat over you in the process, hoping to give the smallest comfort amidst the chaos that’s about to erupt. there’s no point in pretending or hiding — one look at that lock and his crazy friend would know something’s off. 
taeyong feels you flinching behind him with every heavy footstep against the floorboards as doyoung wastes no time in getting to your room. and when he finally appears, hands braced against the door frame, you’ve never been this scared your whole life. his eyes are drawn into slits, fixated on taeyong alone. “how fucking dare you?”
“it’s over, doyoung. give it up or you wouldn’t have to suffer a longer sentence than you’ll already get.” taeyong tried with his whole being to appear intimidating.
“what’re you saying, yong? i meant, how fucking dare you barge in here and disturb my girlfriend in her sleep? that’s not very nice of you…” doyoung sports a disarming gummy smile as he approaches, hand outstretched and beckoning towards you. “c’mere, baby. i don’t think you’ve eaten lunch yet?”
“drop the fucking act, you psycho!”
“what act?” doyoung tilts his head innocently, gaze shifting from taeyong’s and yours, who keeps peeking from over his ex-friend’s shoulder. luring you out is a piece of cake unless taeyong decides to make things a wee bit more complicated, doyoung thought. “i’m just concerned for my darl —”
“we’re leaving.” taeyong cuts him off, breaking eye contact as he places a firm grip around your wrist. he pulls you towards him, farther away from your supposed lover as he tries walking past doyoung. 
but the said man pushes taeyong back with a humorless smile on his face. “and who told you that you can do that?”
a pregnant silence befalls the room as the two men size each other up. they regard each other with such hostility, you can't help but unconsciously fist the back of taeyong's sweater in nervousness, prompting the man to turn his head over his shoulder for a swift second to check up on you.
but a second is all that doyoung needed to deliver the first kick towards taeyong's legs, throwing him off his balance. if it was one thing doyoung knew, is that he needed to eliminate taeyong's agility all together if he wants to win against him. 
but taeyong isn't one to back down. the moment doyoung straddles him on the floor, with a fist raised to throw a punch, taeyong grunts as he rolls them around. doyoung now receiving taeyong's rain of fists as he yells. "fuck you! you manipulative asshole!"
you sat on the corner, horrified of the scene happening before you. you've never seen doyoung this way. he has always been your sweet, caring bunny, but after everything taeyong said, you aren't so sure you even know the man you've been living with. 
"everything i did, i did it for her!" you flinch at the sound of bones breaking as doyoung kicked taeyong's ribs. "she had nothing to lose! i saved her!"
the door is open, you noticed. wide-open and inviting you to make a run for it. and you would have made a run for it...  but taeyong. you can't leave him behind, not when he lays there bloody and grunting in pain as doyoung lets his anger take over him. so, as stupid as may be, you did it. you had to.
"you didn't save me," you say, schooling your face into indifference as doyoung whips around, forgetting about taeyong in the bat of an eye. "you caged me in here, treated me like there's something wrong with me, gaslighted me into believing everything you said! and... what did you say? 'saved me'? you made me go through hell!"
the whole time, taeyong tries his hardest to stand upright, but his broken ribs don't allow him to. the pain too great that he had no choice but to crawl instead, arms pulling his weight as he drags himself across the floorboards, desperately trying to get doyoung's attention back on him even if it meant getting beaten to death.
meanwhile, he had his eyes trained on you the whole time you spoke, sobbing as you walk backward in fear as doyoung approached you with a dark glint in his eye. he doesn't like what you're saying; that much is very clear. he wanted to yell at you, to scream of your ungratefulness despite his constant care but instead, he says.
"i thought we were making progress, baby. i guess i have to drill everything in your brain again. you're not okay, but you will be after i treat you."
you try to fight the urge to look at taeyong as he finds his strength, silently rising up from the floor to ambush doyoung while he's so busy preaching about you. 
"what i said is true, baby. do you actually think this scum over here is doing this to save you? do you actually believe everything he said? i've been here since day-1, my love. literally. and have i ever let you down? no. everything i'm doing is for us. even this damned research!"
taeyong surges forward to put him in a chokehold, but everything happened so fast, and the next thing you knew —
"did you actually think i'd fall for that?"
you didn't know the sound of a knife cutting through flesh could sound that loud, but nothing could beat the strained gasp that tumbled through taeyong's lips as he shakily held the knife pierced through his heart. you would've been concerned about how doyoung got it so accurate in one go or where the knife even came from. but you were too busy screaming, collapsing against the wall as you let out a broken sob. 
"no," you mutter. "no, no, no..."
you can't bear to avert your eyes from taeyong as he lies dying before you. the look of fear in his eyes would forever be ingrained in your mind, and no amount of brainwashing or gaslighting would ever make you forget.
doyoung killed him. you lost.
the knife clatters loudly on the floor as he slowly turns around as if he himself has yet to register what he did. you didn't know what to expect from doyoung's reaction but certainly not the eerie smile that starts spreading on his face. 
"now... how about that lunch, baby?"
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✉ : a repost no one asked but i respectfully dont give a fuck <3
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eivorsjawline · 3 years
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tw: the usual blood and cuts visuals
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Chapter 7: Turn Back Time
Reader’s POV
A crescent moon lit up the night sky and the grass remained damp from the recent storm, crickets and frogs sang nearby. The wet, muddy terrain on the hill worked my calves as well as ruined my shoes. My escort finally dropped me off at the stones. Though I know it's odd dropping a strange woman off at a landmark in the middle of the night, he never asked any questions. The atmosphere was dark and cold, part of me felt scared to go back. There is always the chance that the stones could send me to the wrong time period, or even further back. I found love here, and even friends of my own. At least what I thought was love, even if the feelings were not mutual. How could someone so sweet and loving towards me flip within an instant. I questioned if I truly knew Eivor at all in the time I spent here.
Everything changed through the years, but the stones remained the same. Unchanged by any shape or form of mankind. People have come and have gone as they have sat and watched patiently. I wonder whether people have even noticed my absence and how I would explain where I was. It's difficult bearing the truth but having no one to tell it to otherwise I’d be deemed insane. I was back where my journey started, in the same spot engulfed by the tall rocks around me. The standing stone I had touched previously stood directly in front of me. However, I couldn’t bring myself to touch it as if a magnetic force was pulling me away. My name echoed in the distance from a voice I could recognize no matter how far.
Eivor stepped down from her horse with caution and let out a groan. Her knees appeared weak as she stumbled towards me and her voice dry and tired. I still felt anger towards her and wondered why she didn't just apologize earlier.
“Y/n, wait!”
“Why, Eivor?” 
“Im sorry, I’m drunk and I can't think right now. Please, forgive my harsh words… You deserve more than what I can offer you. So I…”
She paused and placed her hand on her stomach before dropping to her knees. I quickly moved her hand and lifted her undershirt to reveal she had been wounded. Though I’m not an expert, It was clear to see the wound was deadly. Eivor reached her hand outwards towards me for support. I screamed out her name whilst the anger in my body was now replaced with fear.
“Eivor, get up!”
She could hardly keep her eyes open and her body refused to stand up. For once, I had no time to think of what to do next. Running on pure adrenaline, I reached behind her and grabbed underneath her arms in an attempt to drag her but she was too heavy. My panicking only worsened from that point forward.
“Eivor, I need you to help me please… Just for a moment.”
Her eyes flickered with what little fight she had left in her body. I placed her arms around my neck, holding her wrist. This allowed her to place less of her body weight on me as I led her to the stone. She groaned in pain and could barely support herself. I quickly pulled her free hand onto the stone alone with mine.
This is the only way… 
Eivor’s POV
Consciousness started to return to me as a bright light shined in my eye, I could make out the voices of other  people around me. Everything was colorless, only white. For a moment, I truly thought I had died. I looked up to strange sounds coming from a machine that had cords hooked up to various parts of my body. Men and women wearing white coats surrounded me and they seemed to somehow know my name. I sat up to get a better view of my surroundings and my jaw dropped, unable to fix the frown on my face. I began to tug and pull out the lines connected to me and a woman advised me to stop.
“Where am I? Who are you people?”
“This is a hospital and we’re trying to help you. I need you to lay back down.”
The lights around me were so bright and everything so foreign, I felt genuine fear forming in my body. They mumbled towards one another, words I could not make any sense of. The woman in front of me started to fidget with a set of tools near my bed until I grabbed onto her wrist and she flinched. She squirmed and tried to pull my hand off before I finally released her.
“Tell me where y/n is… Please.”
“She's waiting for you outside… Doctor, she's moving too much she needs to be put back to sleep.”
What does she mean put back to sleep?
Before any further thoughts could form I felt a pinch in my arm and my eyes started to grow heavy. I could not fight my drowsiness so I succumbed to it.
Readers POV
I waited outside Eivor’s room anxiously. Thankfully, I had been placed in the exact same time period I had left. Nothing changed and I knew no questions would be plastered onto me by anyone I know. The door to Eivor’s room opened and a doctor greeted me, papers in his hands of x-rays and tests. He was a tall freckled man with thick brown hair and his glasses kept falling from the bridge of his nose. I stood up to shake his hand and waited for him to tell me any news of her.
“So, the wound has been disinfected and is ready for proper healing. We’ve done a few tests on her brain activity and everything is functioning normal. However, she has multiple scars all over her body. They look to be battle scars, oddly enough. I understand you tell me she’s a new friend of yours but do you know anything else about her life?”
“All I know is that her life has been a rough one… Now, when can she be released?”
“Soon. She’s very confused right now, unaware of her surroundings. Perhaps, once she's awake you can help jog her memory.”
“Could I at least see her now?”
“I’m assuming you’re not family therefore, I can't allow that. Leave your number and we’ll let you know when she’s ready to be brought home.”
I jotted down my number with the black-ink pen the doctor gave me. He told me she needs to be aware of her surroundings before any further stimulation. Even if the doctor seemed suspicious, they know only so little. I felt bad on the walk to my car, I didn’t wanna leave her all alone there but there was nothing I could do about It. I feared she would be angry with me once I picked her up. I started up my car and pulled out of the driveway, the rain trickled onto the front of my window and I turned on my windshield wipers. The drive back home was somewhat rejuvenating, being back relaxed me, I didn’t have to witness war and blood every second of the day.
I neared the driveway of my parking lot and pulled in. On the passenger seat my keys laid, I grabbed them and shut the car door. When I unlocked the front door to my apartment everything remained just as It was before, like nothing changed. My cat greeted me with a meow and I replied back with a scratch on her neck before making sure her food bowl was filled. I missed my life entirely, though I hadn’t been gone terribly long, a feeling of deja vu still resonated within me. The night would be long as I waited for my phone to go off. I turned the television on in my living room and kicked back, my cat laying next to me.
Just like old times...
Traveling through time seems to tire me, so I laid back and let my mind drift away. 
Eivor’s POV
I awoke from my practically forced sleep. I knew my journey to her would bring me here, to her strange world. Some more clothes would have brought me more comfort rather than this sheet they have me in. My wound was healing nicely, the pain of it wearing away though still sore. Some good ale would help me endure this. The nurses treated me well, making me regret how aggressive I had been in the beginning. My knowledge of the world around me made them suspicious but they knew I was fully responsive. We discussed my release, and they gave me news that I should get ready to go home. One of the nurses placed a bag on the chair next to my bed.
“Your friend left some clothes for you to change into when she left.”
A simple shirt and pants, strange material though. Surely, for such an advanced time I would have thought the clothing would be more complex instead, It was rather minimalist. The shirt fit rather snug but the pants were fine and felt comfortable. No one bared any weapons or armor, I felt nude without anything to defend myself with. Everyone seemed content and relaxed, I envied the people around me and the sheltered lives they had always lived. They walked around completely oblivious, and so did I. The concept was foreign but trying to fit in with the people around me was easy, just act like everything is okay. I heard a knock on the door once I finished dressing and the doctor came in to consult with me. He shook my hand and smiled.
“Hello, Eivor. Your wound is healing wonderfully. How are you feeling?”
“Better than I was.”
“The severity of your wound was extreme, even I’m surprised you made it… Your scars, how did you get them? If you don't mind me asking.”
I threw my hands up in the air trying to spare some time, my voice became soft.
“Oh, you know. Used to be a troublemaker, got into some bad fights.”
“I assume you're still troublemaking since that wound is fresh.”
“This one was an.... accident.”
Reader’s POV
The familiar sound of my phone started to ring. I knocked out so hard, I’m not even sure what time it is. I wiped the corners of my mouth before clearing my throat, the hospital was calling me. Anxiously, I answered the call and It was the doctor I had spoken to prior. Finally, I can pick her up from the hospital. I never got up quicker, throwing on some clean clothes and grabbing my keys on the way out the door. I whipped out of the driveway and headed towards Eivor, I think I may have even been speeding. Upon arrival I made my way to the desk to check into Eivor’s room. I took the elevator and pressed the floor number I needed to go to. Ugh, I hate the smell of hospitals. Disinfectants and chemicals everywhere, yet the taste of nothingness in the air at the same time. I found myself at her room door, and knocked to make sure she was ready for my entrance. The door handle twisted and opened swiftly, my heart began to beat faster when I saw the way she looked at me. I wrapped my arms around her neck and gave her a warm embrace.
“I’m so sorry It happened this way. We’ll get you back, I promise.”
“There’s no need for apologies, you saved my life. These people saved my life, there would be no going back home if it wasn’t for your quick thinking. I will admit for the first time there is true fear in my body for what lies out there.”
I chuckled, sure enough she had the look of fear in her eyes.
“Eivor, there’s nothing to be scared of. Come on, let me show you my home. Oh, I just picked the shirt and pants out real quick, sorry if the fit is wrong. We’re going shopping as soon as possible...”
Eivor looked overwhelmed, perhaps the bright lighting and a bustling hospital was a lot to handle for her. We stepped in the elevator and made our way down, the buttons and how we dropped seemed to fascinate her. When we got outside to the parking lot she was surprised to see all the cars moving fast, faster than any horse could go. When we got to my car I made a short, “ta-da!” movement with my hands.
“This is my humble stallion, she takes me wherever I like.”
Behold, my silver car. A few years dated but in almost pristine condition, I seemed quite proud of myself somehow. I opened the door for her and had to remind her to tilt her head down when entering.
“More of those…”
She pointed at the numbers in my car.
“They're called buttons, love.”
I turned the volume dial on my car and played some tunes. The surprised expression on her face when she heard what we consider music, we shared a look before smiling and laughing at each other. The moment was short when she ran her fingers over the functions, the radio station changing repeatedly and the heater kicking on and off… Like a child in a candy shop, touching everything in sight. Though I was trying to contain my laughter, her face remained serious and extremely focused. I got on the road to go back home, making sure to play some of my favorite songs for her entertainment.
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code-anzi · 5 years
Text
This is an order
XiaoJun X reader
Fluff
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The ball was grand and luxurious. Everyone is wearing expensive clothings and jewelrys which might worth more than Y/N's house. She was a waitress for the night. She works in a small cafe owned by her cousin. When her cousin mina introduced her to the butler of Xiao family, she didn't know that she will be hired as a waitress for the Grand masquerade ball. She'll earn a great deal of money for just one night of being a waitress so she didn't deny the job.
Now here she is. Standing among the huge crowd of royalties and other rich and powerful families of this country.
Y/N p.o.v
"It's tiring isn't it?" said dahyun.
"It sure is. But work is work. I can't complain"
"Aha Ha you're righ Y/N. We can't complain."
It was nice chatting with dahyun but we soon get back to our work. I held a tray with a few champagne glasses and walk around the people offering them drinks.
I'm feeling light headed right now. People walking around and the suffocated atmosphere is not helping. Without even noticing i tripped. I closed my eyes and prepared for the impact. But to my surprise i was not introduced with the cold hard floor, Insted i felt a warm pair of arms wrapped around me.
"Are you Ok?"
"I'm-i'm-....i'm fine.." i shuttered. The arms around me didn't let me go. I think everyone's attention was on me by now.
"You don't seem fine. Follow me" said the mysterious man.
He dragged me to upstairs of the palace. The grand chandeliers and paintings caught my eyes as i walk through the corridor. The man stopped at the door to what seems like a bed room. He pulled me inside the room.I was nervous and scared now. My hands are shaking.
"Sit."
He points to a chair near the king sized bed.
"W-what are yo-"
"Shhh... it's OK. I'm not doing anything to you. I just used you to get out of that boring ball"
I was confused now. He suddenly take off his fancy black mask.
"Ahh that feels way better. That mask is so hot"
It seems like i have forgotten how to breath. His perfect features are a gift from god. He looks like he came straight from heaven. But something about him looks familiar he looks like...... `The Prince´
" Oh hi! I haven't introduce myself i'm Xiao Dejun."
"The...prince.." i whispered.
"Yeah.... You can call me that too."
Reality suddenly hit me. He really is The Prince so you really shouldn't be here.
"Oh No. I shouldn't be here.... you're you're the prince... i-i have to go... if someone sees us...."
"Hey Hey Hey no one's going to see us. We're fine and please don't go"
A hand held my shoulders down to the chair and the beautiful man Infront of me is just smiling.
"I don't want to be alone. Please don't go"
His pleading eyes are like trying to tell me not to go anywhere. This is so wrong. I shouldn't be here in the first place. But why do i feel so comfortable and ..Right.
I nodded slowly. He seems relieved. His hands squeezing my shoulders lightly.
"So what is your name" said XiaoJun while pulling another chair Infront of me and sitting on it.
"It's Y/N"
"What a lovely name." He smiled. Everytime he smiles i feel butterflies in my stomach.
"Can you tell me more about your self Y/N?"
"Umm sure.it's not very interesting but i'm Y/A (your age) Years old and i work in my cousin's cafe. I live with my mother......."
And so on. We talked for what seems like hours and we know so much about eachother in just a few hours.
"Do you believe in love at first sight?" XiaoJun asked me.
"Love at first sight? I don't believe it but it's possible"
"Well Y/N i think... i'm in love with you"
"You What?!?" I said in pure shock. Is he out of his mind.
"I said i'm in love with you" he took my hand squeezed it in his large hands.
"M-me?? But i'm just a stranger. We just met about like an hour ago."
"Even though you are a stranger, i feel like i can trust you more than those people who i known for my whole life. I feel so comfortable around you and i even forgot about those royalty things which stress me out so much. You make me feel at ease Y/N."
"I don't think i can....."
"This is an order!" He stood up looking down at me.
"Y/N i order you to stay by my side."
"What??!" I stared at him in shock. How can he just order a total stranger to be by his side?
"It's an order. You can't say no to an order.Y/N. I want you by my side.So from now on you are mine"
_
I don't even know but... i tried. I know it sucks but i tried.
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jamkookies · 5 years
Text
° Bon Voyage °
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• Part X •
Bad Influence
~
You'd held him like a child.
He hadn't been able to say anything else, the unspoken words threatening to break him down.
So you had held him, swallowing back your tears for his sake and rocking him back and forth.
You hadn't pushed him to talk any further, scared of making him relive the experience all over again.
Some moments later, the nurses had come into the room and urged him to use the wheelchair and he had never left your eyes for a second, even when the door closed behind him.
You were now left with a feeling of emptiness that no other person could fill.
You just couldn't wrap your head around the fact that he had killed a person for you.
A despicable, evil, but living person nonetheless.
Just how far could Jungkook go for your sake? you thought.
"I hope you're feeling better by now."
You turn your head to the side and see Manager Sejin sitting on the same chair.
You hadn't even noticed him, too absorbed into the swirling vortex of thoughts in your mind.
There's a smile on his lips but it doesn't quite reach his eyes.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Good. Then we can continue."
He pulls his chair close to your bed and props his elbows on his knees.
"You do realize you have caused us a lot of trouble, right?" he begins.
You fail to look him in the eye as the embarrassment of recent events causes heat to rise in your face.
"I know and I am really sorry."
"Just being sorry isn't enough, though. I would've let you off the hook if you had brought these things only to yourself but the problem is, you haven't.
You've made the other members get caught up into your situations."
As you slowly raise your head, you notice that this isn't just a normal scolding session. Sejin wasn't gonna let this go with just a couple of warnings.
The guy was serious about this and you had to admit, he was right.
Jungkook had had to kill someone because of you.
You wished you had died instead.
"First, I get notified by the bodyguards that you had thrown a tantrum at the beach, unnecessarily looking for Jimin when he was safe and sound just a little further. Then, you get drunk as a skunk, making us delete all the footage ,and let's not even mention the childish swearing and cussing."
You open your mouth to say something, but no words come out.
What could you possibly tell him?
He was right about everything.
"Did you know what Jungkook had to do? He said that when the man came back, he tried to kidnap you again. While they were brawling, Jungkook had
grabbed a rock and smashed it into his skull."
You stare at him, mouth agape.
Jungkook...
"He was in a state of shock because of what he'd done, but he managed to pull himself together for you. And you don't even know what he went through because you've been unconscious for two days".
He sighs and lowers his tone a little bit, trying not to get too carried away.
"I know that not everything that happened is your fault. Jungkook said he was the one who pushed you to go out of the bodyguards' sight, but that doesn't justify your actions.
You should realize that the boys, especially Jungkook, tend to be more reckless when they're around you. I don't know if it is to prove you something or just because they want to."
He glares at you with daggers shooting from his eyes.
"I also noticed that you've become rather close with him."
You duck your head again in shame. He had almost caught you red-handed a while ago.
"Listen, Y/N. I'm going to be honest with you. You're really good at your job. You can sing, dance and perform perfectly, but you're no good for the boys.
You're a bad influence."
There they were.
The words you had been expecting.
You'd figured out that it was a matter of time before he'd say them.
You muster up the courage to raise your head as a final act of maintaining your dignity.
There's no emotion in your words - no hate, no hard feelings. Just pure professionalism.
"I'm really sorry about everything. I'll pack up my bags as soon as they remove my bandages."
He nods once and you can't help but almost cringe at his sigh of obvious satisfaction.
"It was nice knowing you, Y/N-ssi." he says and offers a hand for you to shake on.
You extend yours and fight the urge to squeeze it harder than you have to.
He rises from his seat and leaves the room.
You felt like someone had ripped a chunk from your heart and shredded it to pieces.
No more concerts, no more shows, no more shooting, no more fun time spending with the boys.
No more family.
It was time for you to leave the group.
* * *
"So, what was so urgent that you called all of us here?"
You're stalling for time, not knowing how to say it to them, and Namjoon wasn't making it any easier with those pretty eyes of his boring into you.
"I have been thinking a lot lately." you say. "And I've noticed that there are so many things that I have to fix."
"Like what?" Jin asks.
"My life. It's pretty much in shambles right now."
"Uh-oh, I think the nurses must have put something into her medicine." Taehyung says.
"I'm not joking, hyung. This is serious."
"Is this because of the accident? We thought you'd gotten over it by now." Jimin approaches you with worried eyes.
"It's not just that. Everything I've done has gone for the worse and I don't feel well."
"Is there something bothering you? Are you sick?"
"No, I just-"
"What exactly are you trying to say?" Namjoon insists.
"I'm saying that I need to take a break."
"For how long?" Yoongi asks.
"Forever."
"What?!" Taehyung exclaims.
The others echo him and you're left with their constant buzzing into your ears, words that you can't discern.
"What do you mean by forever? Is this some kind of joke?"
You say nothing.
"Y/N, we know you feel bad about what Jungkook did but it was not your fault."
Jimin looks at you sympathetically and you almost drop your guard, almost tell him that it was not your choice, that you had to do this because of them.
You'd realized they wouldn't let you go if you told them the truth so you had to improvise. Let them think you were leaving the group to satisfy your own ego. Be selfish for once.
It was the only way they could carry on without you.
"I know that, hyung. But I don't feel like doing this anymore. I think I'm gonna do things on my own from now on."
Hurt flashes in his eyes and you can feel your heart being shattered into a million pieces.
"You wanna go solo?" Jin asks.
You still say nothing.
"But we've been together for so long." Taehyung pleads.
They look at you expectantly, begging for you to at least show some emotion, except for Namjoon, who can't seem to take his distrustful eyes off of you.
Damn him and his 148 IQ.
You muster up the courage as you try to keep your voice from shaking.
"It's time I leave the group."
"You what?!"
You snap your head towards the voice and you suddenly wish for the floor to split open and swallow you whole.
Jungkook is standing on the doorway, flabbergasted at your declaration.
He closes the distance in three long strides, instantly at the side of the bed.
For a moment you forget about everything and almost cry in relief at his improvement. There was still a hint of limping but he was walking just fine.
"Tell me this is a joke."
"I..."
"Y/N."
"I'm not joking."
It's like all of his face loses its pigment, and he just stares at you, speechless.
Then, two droplets of tears slide from his cheeks to his chin.
You'd never seen him cry since debuting.
"After all we got through, you're giving up now? You wanna chase after your dreams? Huh? Is that what you wanna do?"
"Jungkook, please..."
"Why now? Why now out of all times?" His voice cracks and it's the most heartbreaking sound you've ever heard.
You can't do this anymore.
You have to get out, get away before the truth spills from your lips.
On the verge of tears, you rip the blanket off of you and start clawing at the tubes attached to your arms.
"Y/N, what are you doing - " you hear the others say, but you can't stop.
Out.
You had to get out.
Jungkook grips you by your forearm with pleading eyes but you shake him off.
Out.
"Are you okay?"
"Y/N, I'll call the nurses-"
"Just let her go". Namjoon's voice.
In nothing but your hospital gown, you make your way out of the room.
* * *
The continuous chirping of the birds doesn't do anything to calm the raging storm of emotions in you. You felt conflicted, having to choose between playing the bad guy and being truthful.
You hated it with all your might but there was nothing else you could do.
It had come to this.
"Int tajjeb?" the nurse asks you in Maltese.
"Iva. Grazzi."
At least the week spent here had proven to be worthy of something.
You'd managed to learn some basic phrases and you could understand that she had just told you if you were okay now.
The nurse offers you a smile and scuttles away, tending to another patient.
You take a deep breath of the crispy air and let it sink in.
The bench you were sitting on and your lack of undergarment beneath the gown didn't do anything to shield you from the cold breeze.
Oh, how you wished you could let everything go to hell.
You were sick and tired of it.
What were you gonna do from now on?
Where were you gonna go?
Just go back to your parents in shame, with not a single decent excuse to why you had left?
Absolutely not.
You feel a jacket being thrown around your shoulders and you lift your eyes to see Hoseok's head above you, wearing an apologetic smile.
"Thanks." you barely a whisper.
He takes a seat next to you and stares ahead.
"You know, I've only seen Jungkook cry before we debuted." he says in a low, cautious voice. "I was going through a lot and I decided to leave the group. The kid started bawling his eyes out. I don't think he ever cried like that for his parents."
You nod, remembering all too well the exact look on his face when Hoseok had claimed his farewell.
He turns his head now, looking at you dead in the eye.
"Jungkook loves you, Y/N. We all know that."
You almost choke by the straight-forwardness of his words
"And I know you're not really interested in starting a solo career. You think we're dumb?"
"But I-"
He stops you with a palm raised in front of him.
"I don't want to hear it. But just know,
Y/N, that Jungkook doesn't deserve to experience this for the second time."
You gulp harshly and the sting of your next lie makes your throat hurt.
"Well, then tell Jungkook that I also have a life to live."
It was over.
You were never gonna go back to how it was before.
The words had been said and the damage had been made.
All of it intentionally.
If he wasn't gonna fall for your previous lies, then he would definitely buy this.
He doesn't say anything but the shock is quite visible on his face.
He nods once and leaves without looking back.
The jacket slips from your shoulders and along with it, the fake mask of your pretention.
* * *
The heavy suitcase weighs you down and it's all you can do not to scrape it on the floor.
Clad in new, comfortable clothes you make your way towards the room with the number 215 on it.
You can't get rid of the nervousness that has taken hold of you, no matter how hard you try.
With shaking hands, you put the suitcase on the ground and crack the door open, careful not to make a sound.
He's laying on his back, wrapped up in the blankets, eyes closed.
You grimace, trying to hold in the whimper that rises in your throat.
Feet light as a cat, you approach the bed, obviously too small for him as his legs were sticking out of the frame.
If only you knew how much I love you.
If only you knew how I wish we could stay like this forever.
You bend down and press a feather-light kiss on his forehead.
The last time you'll ever look at him like this, drinking him in, savoring the feeling of his image behind your eyelids.
He was gonna hate you with all his might, you knew that.
You knew it and you still did what you had to do.
As long as he is safe.
As long as they are safe.
You take backwards steps and close the door behind you, your heart now a shattered mess.
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