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#my empathy level is at 0
brigatebajor · 1 year
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and also re: dealing with historical nuances in stories about [insert organized crime group that historically committed atrocities but is being romanticized today] cause i want to be annoying
there were so many people in the notes of that post saying stuff like "but i just want mindless entertainment with pirates!" and like. sure. but you also have to understand that what that entails is erasing every inch of historical background from the material at hand, and youre gonna have to be okay with people NOT being okay with that honestly??
like mindless entertainment is something that is just made to be consumed while shutting off your brain right? you wont be thinking about social class and the issues pertaining classism and power imbalance between a barista and a coffee shop patron when consuming coffee shop au fanfiction, but it works because we're all inherently aware of them. we all know how a coffee shop works. but what actual knowledge do we have of pirates, or the mafia, outside of stereotypes? so it becomes a self-feeding machine of preconceived notions that ultimately leads to consumers having no idea what theyre talking about, but thinking that they do. which is like, one level shy of historical revisionism or smth
plus like idk i feel like this is the last place where i should have to say this (or the first?) but romanticization isnt like... good. like. both pirates and the mafia (the two examples of that post but surely theres more) are still active and still commiting atrocities To this day. like the fact that people made fun of the mafia twitter thread always drove me crazy cause like do you people not know that people died??? do you people not know that pirates were involved in the slave trade??? and i think it's the same feeling i get with true crime girlies like he is Not just an aesthetic cute boy he KILLED people!! are you that desensitized to murder?? to lifes own value???? idk man it just drives me crazy
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seventhemaverick · 4 months
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Astro Observations 🌱
Disclaimer: This is my first Astrology post! I tried to do this earlier this year but tumblr lagged and it deleted all of my hard work lol. But now I’ve gained the courage to give it another go! I’m not a professional astrologer. I just study it in depth when I have time. Still very much a beginner. Please be kind and if I’m misinformed let me know! If you want to repost my work please credit me. This also has personal opinions in here don’t take it too seriously babes!
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🌾 I don’t typically think Leo’s and Scorpios go together romantically BUT any other relationship outside of that exudes power team. For ex: Kylie and Kris Jenner. Scorpios are known to love power and Leo’s love the spotlight! Kylie was bound to be a favorite after her « ugly duckling » phase. Kylie rolls in the dough and Kris keeps that empire going. I’ve seen many Scorpio parents with Leo kids and they really seem to love them the most lol
Let’s talk about underdeveloped placements real quick!
🌿 Having a parent that is toxic or underdeveloped and has placements that fall into your second house can obliterate your self worth. ESPECIALLY if you have planets in that house and their placements are exactly conjunct 0° or 1-3°.
🌾 If your mars sign is exactly square one of your parents mars or 1-5° orb… 🌚 take the steps to move out if you haven’t already it’s for the best.
🌿 Capricorn moons I wish I could hug all of you. You had to grow up so fast and got handed some of the worst cards. But nevertheless resilience is your middle name. As you age things will get easier if you stand on business! Integrity is key.
🌾 I know libras are known to be superficial or whatever and I’m kinda one of them lol. I literally live off of aesthetics and I typically have nice skin but when I have a massive break out? I literally want to hide until they’re gone. My stress is next level when I don’t look my best.. I’m also a Leo Venus 😅 in the tenth house at that and have cancelled plans when I look and feel shitty.
🌿 All of the air signs almost always value intellectual stimulation first from their partner. Someone they can have great rapport, banter with. Someone that’s witty and knows a wide variety of subjects or has many interests is very hot. Sagittarius is the air sign of the fire signs so I’ll loop them in on this too.
If we lost any zodiac element, it would bring chaos to the entire world.
🌾 Air brings logic and reasoning, water brings compassion and empathy, earth brings grounding and patience, fire brings passion and vitality. Life is about interconnectedness.
🌿 I remember reading a blog that the gods put the constellation of Libra in between Virgo and Scorpio because they were too much alike and it’s so true lol. Both signs can be so compulsive and it’s overwhelming from what I’ve heard from Virgo and Scorpio placements. I can also see this easy going equivalence being the case for Sagittarius being in between Scorpio and Capricorn. The benefics happy go luckies in between the malefics drained and over it.
🌾… moon 3rd house overlay is addictive especially combined with 7th/8th/12th overlays in that synastry. I don’t think I can ever do that again unless we both have it overlaying each others charts. Someone’s moon in your 3rd house, their mind fascinates you and it’s easy to communicate with them you feel seen and heard. You dream about them, you think about them all the freaking time. It is the most annoying thing because why are you taking up my brain space like that bro? I had this with someone and I still think about them it’s been over for quite some time now. Another person that’s in love with me, my moon falls into their 3rd house and they tell me how much they think about me and day dream about me. I had said issue of daydreaming with the other guy. 2/10 would not recommend unless moon person is developed.
🌿 When the moon transits your first house you’re more likely to be more emotional and make drastic changes to your physical features! When Doja Cat shaved her head the moon was transiting her first house and I literally did mine the next day when it was transiting my first house.
🌾 Opinion but I love Pisces placements they are so helpful and loving when developed. I think the underdeveloped ones are too but they expect something out of it where the developed ones are just really selfless. I’m a Pisces Stan! I have so many in my life lol I have no Pisces placements. My 5H is in Pisces lol
🌿 Degree theory is that gworl. It helps you relate to the planet and it’s placement more depending on what the degree rules. For example I was dating a Sagittarius Venus in the 9th house at the 9° and he embodied that free spirited nature of Sag Venus fr. Another example, you can be a Pisces Venus but it’s in your first house at the first degree and the way you love embodies a more aries way of loving. Fiery, passionate a bit aggressive but very deep and tender to the core.
🌾 I’ve also heard the theory of when you reach the age of certain degrees of the placements you have you unlock that placements characteristics. Something significant happens to you during that age or you might master that placement regarding the planet and house placement.
🌿 The degree of your rising sign is more than likely the age of something significant happen in your physical life/to you physically. This is tea y’all.
🌾 You most likely share placements or degrees in your chart with your siblings. My sister is a Scorpio sun, Aries rising, Virgo moon and I’m a Libra sun, Scorpio rising, Aries moon. If I was born two days earlier I would’ve been a Virgo sun and if she was born one or two days later she would’ve been a Libra moon. So I think thats pretty cool. We’re also both Venus dominant and she has a Libra stellium 💗. You really choose your family for your next life lol like that’s so crazy to me.
🌿 Ima say dis with my chest. STOP doing wrong by Saturn ruled placements!!! Saturn is ruled by Capricorn, Aquarius in traditional astrology and we cannot forget about its exalted sign in Libra. As a Libra, I receive karma with the quickness but also people that have done wrong by me their quality of life decreases and or whichever house Saturn is in their chart is deeply affected in the worst ways.. daddy Saturn don’t play bout his! Be fair and follow the golden rule. “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
🌾 Having heavy Sagittarius placements in your chart makes you open to learn different languages or different cultures.. just always wanting to learn. Whatever house it’s in you want to master in life.
🌿 The mutables Gemini Virgo Sagittarius Pisces love their niches, they are the teachers and preachers of the zodiac.
🌾 Geminis have the gift of gab more than any other zodiac. Sagittarius could possibly go toe to toe with them
🌿 If anyone ever tries to degrade you for studying astrology and eggs you on to prove this practice to be true, get their birth info and read them their Chiron sign and house placement. Hit ‘em where it hurts!
🌾 Scorpio and Libra placements are usually the generational trauma breakers of their family. Honorable mention- Saturns children, Capricorn and Aquarius
🌿 An undeveloped Capricorn placement that enters your life is literally satan reincarnated to torture you for whatever you did wrong in your past life. And I (if u were raised around Christianity) believe Jesus was a Pisces/Aries! I can argue about this all day! In tarot Capricorn rules the devil! Like hellooooo
🌾 Sixth house/Virgo placements are pretty good at taking care of pets and plants. They feel the most sane around nature and animals.
🌿 Personal planets harmoniously aspected to Neptune make the person seem very angelic like. Very soft souls, earth angels. Hard aspects have people having an even more distorted projection of you.
🌾 Personal planets harmoniously aspected or not to Uranus gives you that shock factor some people will be repelled and some people will be very intrigued.
🌿 Aries placements especially sun and moon are really loyal! I’m talking mostly platonically. Once they see you as their person they are truly ride or die.
🌾 Cancer placements can be one of the most loving and giving when developed. Some spiteful mfs when underdeveloped omg.
🌿 I realize cancer placement women get treated with the cutest romantic gestures. I think they lovers want to do these things for them because they give off ethereal or princess vibes but they’re also real nasty in the sheets lol
🌾 Cancers don’t really get a bad rep even when they do shady things. For example: Selena Gomez when she dated Abel even tho she was cool with Bella was super weird. And I think a lot of people forgot how Kevin hart cheated on his wife like it was nothing lol. Ariana grande with the donuts and now the Ethan thing chileee. It’s like they get a second of backlash and then everyone adores them again lol.
🌿 Having a grand trine in your chart can make you so damn lazy in the houses those planets/figures are in 🥹🥲. It’s crazy cuz that talent(s) will come natural to you and you’ll over look it! Please don’t.
🌾 Grand squares are TOUGH but it pushes you to break cycles and overcome so much in your life. Same with t-squares
🌱 Astrology is really a map. It shows you which path you can take and where you can end up when you include discernment and discipline into your daily life. It’s never an excuse to behave the way you do. Ultimately it helps us reach our most aligned and enlighten self! I hope you all enjoyed. 🌱
Idk why I can’t figure out how to delete this question thing so let’s do a cute lil questionnaire!
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beebotea · 3 months
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Hewllo!! Id like to drop a msg, i read ur heartsteel kayn's college boy and i adore the little details of his actions u put in ♡!! Id definitely like to see more stories on college boi kayn from you!! ♡
☁️ ˖⁺ academic misfortunes — kayn (heartsteel)
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pairing: heartsteel!kayn x f/gn!reader genre: fluff, crack, college!au cw: idk probably ooc, not proofread :0 i.e.: adventures of collegeboy!kayn and his classmate/tutor!reader
aahhh! im so glad you enjoyed it <333 i might do a mini series/collection of drabbles for collegeboy!kayn. please send in any requests or ideas you may have or just thoughts to chat about :DD
spinoff of this post
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Kayn isn’t what you’d thought he’d be, to be completely honest. Going off of fancams, fanfics, and the general perception of his character to the public eye, you expected Heartsteel’s lead rapper to be a bit more… cool? Well, at least he certainly tries to come off that way.
However, you quickly learn that Kayn is really just a really, really closeted softie loser boy at best trying to compensate with a big attitude because he thinks edgy is cool or whatever. Of course, he would definitely attempt to murder you if you were to speak of these musings out loud but you couldn’t help but find his off-putting demeanour a bit endearing after a while… something akin to a hyperaggressive chihuahua or a rabid raccoon. But of course, there are other times where you’d wish he’d just fuck off and leave you alone.
“Hey loser.” He calls you from the steps, walking up to where you sit in the lecture hall. “Did you do the homework? Let me copy off of you.” He slides into his usual spot next to yours, throwing his backpack haphazardly on the ground beside him.
“You’re not copying my shit. Fuck off, Kayn.” You roll your eyes at him and continue to read through the slides for today’s class.
“C’mon, have some empathy, yeah? The boys and I had practice all day yesterday.” He was a decent enough liar, but he could have been better if he hadn’t texted you to postpone your tutoring session with a picture of him and Aphelios playing with a random pit bull yesterday instead of attending band practice or completing his homework.
“Kayn, this worksheet was assigned like two weeks ago.”
“So? I had stuff to do two weeks ago!” That part was a bit true; Alune always gave you a copy of the band’s promotion and practice schedule for the month to keep you updated.
It was difficult to refer to him as your friend. You saw him often enough—every day in almost every class. And you’ve worked with him on countless partnered projects by now—he’s only ever able to do work with you (in other words, he scares off anyone who tries to ask you to be in their group or be their partner). But he was always a complete pain in the ass.
When you first became acquainted with Heartsteel’s resident delinquent, you were assigned to be his tutor by one of the department heads at the request of Yone. Begrudgingly accepting the role in exchange for “VIP tickets to all concerts, all inclusive backstage passes at events and shoots, and first dibs to new merch releases,” you began your new job as Kayn’s personal tutor for the various courses he was performing horrendously in. It was by no means smooth sailing when you started. Trying to make plans around his schedule, finding places he wasn’t already banned from to study, getting kicked out of establishments because of his hissy fits at minor inconveniences, and then ultimately agreeing to work at his dorm every weekend instead so you don’t have to hide your face in public. What surprised you the most was how hardworking he actually was when he put his mind to it, even paying attention to your explanations for hours until he could grasp the concept at an intermediate level—or got hungry. What was more was that he even showed rapid improvement, bringing back marks higher than a C- and occasionally reaching the mid to high 70s after a month and a half of beginning his tutoring sessions.
“Okay fine. Just this once, alright?”
“Yeah, yeah, I promise.” He flashed you a snarky grin as you pushed your papers towards him, pointing out which ones were a bit more difficult to understand and summarising what should’ve been an explanation done during one of your tutoring sessions.
“You really should start focusing up on your work though, you know. Finals is coming up soon and these exercises are really good for preparation.”
When the professor finally dismissed the class, you found yourself waiting behind for the bright haired rapper.
“Aw you waited! That’s cute.” He sent a quick wink your way as he caught up to you.
“Well you said you were gonna give me a ride to your place so.”
“Just had to ruin the moment didn’t you.” He chuckled, ushering you to follow him. “I hope you’re not scared of motorcycles or anything because I finally got Yone to let me ride it.”
“Huh?”
“Now where did I park it… hm let’s see… Oh! Here!” He grabbed you by the wrist to pull you towards a red and black motorcycle decorated on its sides with white flames. “Sooo whatd’ya think?” He nudged your sides as he grinned at you.
“You are not driving me in that.”
“Oh come on, of course I am! I have a license for it and everything!”
“Kayn you’re literally gonna get us killed.”
“Will not! C’mon, don’t you trust me? After everything we’ve been through? When have I ever let you down?”
“Like literally this morning when you cheated off of my worksheets instead of completing them before hand like you said you would.” You rolled your eyes at him, missing the way he pouted at your words.
“I promised it was a one time mistake!” He took two helmets from a storage compartment in the vehicle and shook them in front of your face, hoping that his attempt to show you his knowledge of roadside safety would sway you in the right direction. “So? How about it?”
With a defeated sigh, you agree with a mumbled “fine” as he threw you your helmet and instructed you to get on behind him. He even took the time to emphasize the importance of ‘holding on [to him] really really really tight.’
“See? ‘wasnt so bad was it?” He said as he helped you off the motorbike, lifting you off the seat by the waist. He helped you steady yourself when your feet finally touched the ground. His hand never seeming to leave its place on your hip.
“It was… fine. I guess.” You couldn’t help but give him a small grin, having enjoyed the ride and being so close to him. Kayn seemed to want to say something else until he was interrupted by a voice calling from the window above you.
“Hey! Kayn’s back!” Ezreal’s green head could be seen poking out from one of Heartsteel HQ’s many windows, waving to the two of you below him. “Hurry up inside! Yone made ramen!”
Before he knew it, you bolted past him and through the front door at the promise of Yone’s homemade cooking.
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a/n: def down to write more abt this lovesick loser bad boy (please give me more excuses to)
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medtech-mara · 7 months
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Welcome to my new series of posts about Cyberpunk RED source material! This time we will be putting the CYBER into the PUNK by discussing everything Cyberware.
Today, though we must start with the basics, I wanted to just show the catalog and let you go on our own way, but I felt it was best to open the discussion. I am willing to answer your questions should you have some in the event you want to roleplaying/write accordingly when Phantom Liberty releases.
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Welcome to Blue Remedies Health Clinic, My name is Mara Sterling, and I will be your Ripperdoc today? Have you ever used a Ripperdoc before? I notice you don't have any cyberware at all? Nervous? Don't be! We'll go walk through this together.
What is Cyberware?
Cybertechnology can be purchased almost anywhere. Some of the medical procedures are simple: walk-in types of surgery with minor installations taking place in whatever shopping mall clinics(Bodyshoppe, Fashion/Fusion, and Parts N' Programs are three popular chain stores) still exist, or drop-in medical centers (Docs R Us™... or my clinic Blue Remedies Health Clinic in the Wellsprings) These installations are much like getting your ears pierced. You can even have upgrades and improvements plugged into the old hardware for the cost of the new parts, allowing you to start small (called "stripped" or "economy") and add as you go. It is IMPORTANT to note that you CANNOT install cyberware to a critical injury, it has to heal first.
Where can I get my Cyberware installed?
Any Ripper doc if you are brave enough... Joking aside.. Depending on what cyberware you are wanting to install, depends on where you'd likely go. Don't worry I can guide you through this process with telling you where you'd likely get this cybernetic installed. Mall: means you can literally get the installation done in any mall or street corner bio-mod shop; the equivalent of ear-piercing in the 1900s. There are not as many of these as there were in the 2020s. Clinic: means an actual Medtech in a medical surgery clinic. Most of the installation is automated, but it takes a skilled practitioner to use that gear. Most ripperdocs are at this level. Hospital: means the work requires major surgery and a Medtech capable of doing this kind of work. This also requires a full hospital or the nearest equivalent, which is relatively rare. *Benefits from multiple installations of the same cyberware do not stack unless otherwise noted
"I was thinking about getting a a Sigma frame like Panthera, OH or have a dart eye like Optic from Night Raid! That's so cool!"
Unfortunately, there are prerequisites for some cyberware. Rome wasn't built in a night nor was David Martinez, so you will need to build yourself up to such an upgrade as an exo-skeleton like the Sigma frame, but I can't recommend one enough.
How is there such a thing as too much Cyberware?
Besides the obvious answer if you want to see God under the boot of some Maxtac lapdog? then yes. There are limits on how many cyberware slots your body can have. There will be a display how many slots can be used per cyberware type.
Cyberware types? You mean there are more than 2? I thought it was just cyberlimbs or Kiroshis?
There are 8 types of cybernetics available to the open market. However, your Ripperdoc MAY or MAY NOT have special types of cyberware they've crafted themselves, it never hurts to ask. Currently Avaliable: Fashionware, Neuralware, Cyberoptics, Cyberaudio, Internal Body Cyberware, External Body Cyberware, Cyberlimbs, & Borgware (my personal favorite, but watch out!)
Cool, I've picked out what I wanted, lets get started?
Whoa, hold on, choombatta, you picked some heavy hitters there, do you think you can handle it? If you've recently suffered from major traumas, I like to suggest meeting with a therapist first, your humanity is something to treasure and you won't get very far without it... Well unless you are Adam Smasher, were you born with 0 empathy?
Humanity? Therapy? What's all this GONKED shit?
Each cybernetic you install will cost a bit of your humanity, you are giving up some of your human self in place of machine, that doesn't come free. Fortunate for you, therapy does wonders, it can often help you discern what is the psychosis speaking or you, but without it, I'm sure you won't last 6 months on the street before C-Swat comes for you. It's always recommended that if you install heavy cyberware to see your therapist after. It's also a good idea to see your therapist after any traumatic event that has happened to or if front of you. It's not just the cyberware that eat at your humanity.
Annnnnd that's all for this post! Next post we will start going over some actual cyberware, starting with a personal favorite, Fashionware! I really hope to see some of the work you guys make with the new DLC coming out, and armed with this new knowledge about cyberware and cyberpsychosis (soon™)
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At the request of my friend: "When you are done with the complex analyses, please do a simple analysis that is just a list of characters ordered by best crier”
So without further ado...
BEST CRIERS IN MOONLIGHT CHICKEN (From Worst to Best):
Last Place: Heart's Mom
What more can I say than she did this to herself?
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Objectively is it better crying than the 5th place person? Yes. But it's her own damn fault she doesn't know how to communicate with her son.
Empathy: 0/10
Fifth Place: Mrs. Hong
Because we saw this moment and collectively agreed she was going to die by the end of the show.
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Eye Shine: 10/10 but no actual tears from Mama :(
Fourth Place: Jim
Peace, Love, Single Tear after being asked if you're happy.
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Jim is working over time trying not to cry in front of his nephew, but damn if the meanest person you know isn't always 18 years old.
Existential Crisis Level: 8/10
Third Place: Heart
Cause ain't nothing more satisfying than crying out all the emotions you've bottled up over the last three years.
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gifs from @tinngun
The tears on his cheeks might be fake but the catharsis on his face? That's real baby.
Emotional Release: 100/10
Second Place: Alan
I mean...this seems obvious because First is and always will be The Crier, but Alan is the closest thing to an antagonistic force we have in this show, and First has a lot of heavy lifting to do to ensure we sympathize with Alan.
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gifs from @gunsatthaphan
As much as we love a single tear, we gotta give it up to Alan for trying to hold back tears and then fully sobbing in his apartment while Wen is in the other room. This dude needs a hug, some ice cream, and for someone to tell him it will all be okay.
Emotional Complexity: 500/10
First Place: GAIPA
For sheer emotional weight.
Hopefully this is a surprise to no one, and you'd think he'd be the Best Crier winner because of the moment where he is physically trying to hold back tears after leaving the ER:
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gif from @thebvbbletea
Or because of him absolutely breaking down while singing at his mother's funeral:
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gif from @thebvbbletea
But that's not why Gaipa wins the crown. Gaipa wins the Best Crier crown for the following scene:
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gif from @gunsatthaphan
Because I felt so bad for Gaipa in this scene that I have to skip through it in subsequent re-watches.
Being So Brave About It: 10000000000/10
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Saying that I hate Nolan's Batman in a room full of man just to feel something
But here's a random list of my rating of different Batman that nobody asked because I love giving my opinion
The Dark Knight Trilogy: Solid Batman, hate the Bruce Wayne. Brucie, the public persona, is supposed to be a bimbo that cares for the city, not a rude arrogant prick that sinks the Wayne name. It completely butchered his relationship with Harvey too for... *checks notes* Rachel? Nahhh 2/10, a male fantasy movie but it gets one point for showing his training years and another for some cool one-liners
The Batman (2022) – I love the movie and that's top Batman to me, especially the last scene. Batman is a symbol of hope, compassion. I had the same problem as the Nolan's one for the larger portion of the movie: instead of using the Wayne Inc. to do good, he doesn't care about his parent's heirloom and drowns into being Batman. HOWEVER, it's pretty clear how raw and wounded he still is, and after the whole Riddler deal, I can see him turning this around and doing good as Bruce Wayne too. My fav live action movie but it gets a 8.5/10 on characterization
The Long Halloween, Comic – classic Batman, I like his personality and how he lets Batman and Bruce work together to do better to the city. A inspiration for the 2022 movie too. 9/10
The Long Halloween, Tomorrowverse – butchered the storyline and I shit you not Bruce says "I never thought I would need to do detective work to be Batman". Made him all muscle and no brain. Cool art but it doesn't even get a point for it, couldn't bring myself to watch more than 20 minutes of the part two. I kinda liked how he acts with Selina though. Yet, keeps it at -10/0
The Arkham Games – I watched the Arkham Knight gameplay like it was a movie and then watched scenes from other games on yt. That's the ideal way Batman operates to me. Thing dreams are made of. Also balanced on his public facade. 9/10
Batman The Animated Series, Timmverse – can't ask for better. Always offering rehabilitation to villains? Showing empathy for freeze and ivy and Harley!? and his friendship with Harvey? 10/10
Justice League: Unlimited – The timmverse gets him right and I love to notice how he progressed as a character. Love how they write Bruce's friendship with Clark and true partnership with other Leaguers. Also love his relationship with Diana, wonderbat forever. 10/10
Batman, Tv animation (2004) – The story is tailored to be palatable to kids so they changed some elements. It's fun to watch tho, 7/10
Batman Vs. Superman – guilt-ridden, PTSD older Batman? Pretty solid on the premise and I could see any Batman acting that way with enough groundwork. I just don't like the whole marking criminal and sending them to prison to die. Bruce wouldn't, doesn't matter how grief stricken he is. 8.8/10
Gotham (Tv Series) – Eh. Young chaotic Bruce. The focus of the series is on the villains and I didn't even pay too much attention to him tbh. I love a disaster teenager Bruce tho, 7.6/10
Young Justice – Gets points for bonding with Dick earlier in the series and for later showing him operating with a larger Batfam. Also accurate on the way Batman operates. He would leave the League because he's not about being part of a society or the status that come with it. The League had a purpose, which was facilitating saving people. Than he couldn't save people with it? He left. 9/10
Superhero Girls – exploring him being Kardashian-level celebrity?? Hilarious. But I don't like the other implications the show makes about him as Batman. 3/10
The Killing Joke, animated movie – something about how he acts throws me off. Older Batman but done badly. I think they don't work enough to drive him to murder. Should have left him kill Joker when Jason died. 2/10
Ninja Batman – The writers had LSD to write it. Insane. Hilarious. Didn't like that he was "oooh I don't have tech what will I do? :(" Batman is a survivalist so be for real. 4/10
Year Zero (comic) – hate that buzz cut. He wouldn't. Otherwise solid. Also another inspo to 2022 movie. 6/10
Year One (comic) – classic backstory, can't ask for anything else on personality matter. The fact he hallucinated a bat while he was concussed and thus made himself Batman because he thought it was rad? Peak characterization. 10/10
Harleen (comic) – He's not the focus of the story but I do love when they show how much sheer power the Wayne name carries. He has a steady hand over Gotham, a background influence constant and unwavering. Also that dialogue on the end where he's blaming himself for everything that happened even though it's not his fault? Yeah, it tracks. 9/10
Turning Points (comic) – the way he acts... He's such a theater kid. Also accurate on how Robin happened and I love he doesn't try to fight Gordon but humbly accepts Jim is going to hunt him if something happens to Robin. 9/10
There's a black and white one shot comic that Dan Mora made that I can't rember the name but?? Bruce adopting Jason, Dick and Tim in one go?? Can't go wrong for me. I am also not immune to how Mr. Mora draws Bruce. 100/10
The goal of this year is to watch more timmverse and read more comics with the batkids
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Let Your Dreams Be Your Wings | Chapter 10
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Chapters: 10/? Fandom: The Sandman (Netflix 2022, minor content from the Comics) Rating: Explicit Relationships Dream of the Endless/Morpheus x F!Reader  Characters: Dream of the Endless/Morpheus, Lucienne, Matthew the Raven, Mervyn Pumpkinhead, Hob Gadling, Death, Rose Walker, The Corinthian, other minor Sandman characters, Original Characters. Warnings: 18+ content (minors DNI), explicit sexual content, POV switching, very long chapters to read. Summary: You always dreamed of becoming a successful Fashion Designer, sharing your creations with the world and making your father proud. But with him being very ill and so many costs solely weighting on your shoulders, things didn’t go as planned and you had to take a different path instead. An interesting offer led you to the elder Alex Burgess and you were hired as a new housemaid for a very good pay. However, your kindness and outstanding empathy convinced the man to give you an additional task for a doubled compensation; gaining the trust of Dream Of the Endless, held captive into the basement for over a century. Despite the shock of finding such an ethereal entity stripped of all his clothes and contained into a confined space, you had to accept for the sake of your father. But the more you got to speak to the mysterious anthropomorphic personification who didn’t utter a single word, the more you were lost into his eyes that, conversely, seemed to contain the entire universe. A deep connection formed between the two of you, separated only by a thick layer of glass.
Little did you know, what started like a simple housemaid job was about to change your life forever.
Credits: The moon dividers were made by firefly-graphics
Tagging: @number-0-iz. If anyone else wants to be tagged in the next updates, let me know! I noticed that Tumblr sometimes won't let me tag everyone for some unknown reason, so if it comes to that I can at least send you a message to notify you.
Ko-Fi (If you ever wish to support my work)
Note: I posted an interlude with pictures on AO3, I highly recommend checking that!
You thought you could keep that little secret to yourself, but in the end, your curiosity got the best of you.
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The elevator ride felt much longer than it actually was. You tried to calm your pulse while adjusting your hair and clothes, waiting for the doors to open at your desired floor. Upon reaching your destination, you stepped out of the elevator and tightly gripped the strap of your bag. As you looked around, you absorbed the lively atmosphere and energetic banter in the air as the cacophony of scissors slicing through fabric and sewing machines filled your ears.
A middle-aged woman with kind brown eyes and a big hair bun catched sight of you and met your gaze. She put her pen aside, left her desk, and approached you with a big, bright smile. As she moved closer, you could detect a sweet fragrance of roses.
“Y/N Y/LN, I presume?”
You swallowed down your growing tension and greeted her, "Good morning. Yes, it is me.”
She offered her hand and you quickly took it, shaking it lightly in return.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Amelia Foster, but everyone here calls me Amy. Please, don’t worry about the formalities with me.”
Her amiable manners and endearing reception instantly put you at ease. Your face involuntarily lit up and you returned her smile.
As time went by, other employees began to take notice of your presence. They walked away from their tasks to approach you, each of them introducing themself to you with a level of enthusiasm to which you were not accustomed. They treated you like an established member of their team, patting your shoulder, complimenting your appearance, and offering you tea and snacks as if you were a welcome guest in a warm household.
Remembering their names may be a challenging endeavor, but you were already feeling positive sensations from your potential future coworkers. There was only one person, a sullen-looking woman who stood apart from the forming crowd, not really instilling a good feeling in you. Although she exuded a sense of elegance, the crossed arms and subtle glare she directed at you gave off a rather unfavorable impression. Her deep, black curls looked as smooth as cotton, shimmering in the natural light coming from the windows. The fitting dress she was clothed in accentuated her feminine figure, and the crimson shade of her lips curved in what appeared to be a frown, reminiscent of a villainous character from an old Disney movie.
You couldn't dwell on it for too long because the sound of a door opening caught your attention. Before you could even turn your head, a pair of small yet strong arms wrapped around you, almost knocking you backward. A piercing scream reverberated through the room as Ella began to hop up and down, forcibly pulling you along with her. You felt pleased to see that, even after several years of separation, she still retained her youthful energy.
You returned her hug, feeling a bit self-conscious in front of the team witnessing such a display of affection. After removing herself from the embrace, she had a tear-filled gaze with her big emerald eyes. Her blonde tresses had extended in length, replacing her former cute bob with a style that framed her facial features more elegantly. Her makeup was more natural and simple compared to the thick eyeshadow she once loved utilizing.
Although she still resembled her younger self, you could clearly see a fully matured woman before you.
In a brief exchange, Ella conveyed her immense pleasure at reuniting with you, unafraid to show her exuberant emotions in front of her team. It was striking to you how everyone seemed more like a family than just a group of workers. It brought back memories of your previous job and of how Paul used to treat you at Fawney Rig.
Sometimes, you actually missed the man.
Taking your hand in a tight grip, Ella pulled you out of the room without much ceremony. The office appeared to be quite spacious, with multiple rooms and a long corridor connecting all of them. Your surroundings were completely unfamiliar to you, but you could visualize yourself regularly pacing back and forth across the location during work hours on a regular basis.
As you entered her office, Ella invited you to take a seat on the cozy couch for an informal conversation. After removing her high heels, she positioned herself against the velvety cushions, lifting her legs and comfortably stretching out. "Doesn't this bring back memories? It’s been so long since we’ve had a proper chat.”
You flashed a smile and took off your bag, placing it on the coffee table in front of the couch. "And now look at you; a successful married woman managing an empire.”
With a hearty chuckle, she proclaimed, "It is not the big castle with rainbow unicorns I wished for as a child, but I’m proud of what Oliver and I have built. After all, he is my Prince Charming.”
"It does feel like a dream just to be here right now. You've accomplished so much more than I ever could.”
Ella’s beaming face switched to a slight frown, and in a rapid motion, her hands found themselves resting atop yours. “Y/N, your talents will bring you far in life. I’m sure of it.”
For the first time, you were inclined to believe it.
"I want to apologize again for not reaching out. I really should have called you," she continued.
You shook your head lightly. "I didn't call you either.”
"I know that you only wanted me to have my space. Besides, life as an adult can get bumpy every now and then," she said, showing her understanding.
“Tell me about it.”
Ella let out a deep sigh, stroking your arm up and down in a friendly manner. "How about we catch up? You're not in a hurry, are you?”
Your friend had missed out on a significant amount of things over the past couple of years alone. Fortunately, you had decided to allot the entire day for yourself, being certain that discussing each other's lives, as well as recollecting events from the past, would demand a prolonged stretch of time before initiating the informal interview.
Regrettably, you were unable to divulge the complete particulars of your relationship with Morpheus, forced to devise a creative option with alterations to the original story, in an effort to fabricate a statement that would safeguard his identity. Despite this, your friend was exceedingly ecstatic upon hearing that you had found a good man. She immediatly expressed her desire to meet him in person, in addition to the vigorous impulse to strike your former lovers in the face.
The conversation progressed just like that, and eventually, you spoke of your close friend Hob Gadling, as well as your father's health problems and the struggles you had to go through to take care of him. Upon hearing the news, Ella was awed and almost broken into tears. She frequently visited your house and came to appreciate your father a great deal as you two grew up together. You could still vividly remember the sleepovers, the fake tents you used to build with sheets and chairs with his joyful participation, and the galaxy projector you both loved to admire as it cast beautiful stars and nebulae on the ceiling while drifting off to sleep.
"Oh, Y/N. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. You should have called me then," she said apologetically. “I feel like an awful friend right now. I never once asked you how you were doing,”
"I couldn't call anyone, Ella. That was not your burden, it was mine to deal with,” you explained. “I should offer you the same apology."
“Not really. You needed that more than I did.”
As you shifted your attention downwards, you noticed that she had begun to scratch the back of her right hand. Her skin immediately reddened as soon as her fingernails came into contact with it.
Without a second thought, you took hold of her left wrist and pulled it away. "I see that you never got rid of your old habit.”
Ella pressed her lips together, avoiding your eyes. “I did for some time, after meeting Oliver. Still, the itching comes back whenever I feel stressed or worried.”
"If you are concerned about me, don't be. I promise you, everything is okay now," you clarified reassuringly.
“I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.”
“It was better that way,” you stated. “You were following your dreams.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better.”
"But it makes me feel better to see what an extraordinary woman you have become."
Ella let out a light chuckle, lightly tapping the damp skin under her eyes with her fingertips. "I'll cry if you keep doing that," she said with a wry smile, her voice tinged with a hint of playfulness.
"You already are!”
"Oh, shoosh.”
In an instant, it felt as if the two of you had never been apart. The nervousness and anxiety lingering in you easily dissipated, replaced by a sense of comfort and familiarity. With every shared secret and heartfelt joke, the bond between you grew as strong as it ever was, solidifying your certainties and eradicating your insecurities.
As time passed, the conversation eventually moved to the professional aspect. Ella began to inform you about the specific duties and tasks that their former Fashion Designer had been responsible for, as well as what was expected of you as his successor. Not only would you be in charge of the creative direction and elements for all future lines of their brand, but they also desired a more innovative approach to portraying their products in magazines and advertising boards. As Ella guided you through a tour of their entire structure, the Photo Studio and Graphic Laboratory took center stage, emphasizing their importance in achieving these goals.
To you, everything you were witnessing felt like an incredible dream coming true. The opportunity to be a part of this environment and take on such significant roles was beyond anything you had ever imagined and wished for.
"I know this is a lot to take on, especially since you haven't worked directly in this field," Ella acknowledged. "But I believe in your abilities and I trust that you would be the perfect choice.”
Being aware of your own capabilities, you placed your own faith in the knowledge you had acquired through your studies and the personal work you had accomplished over the years. You had taught yourself the skills that you believed were ideal for the position that Ella proposed, investing countless hours in various online courses on Design, Photography, and 3D development.
"I know I told you to take your time to decide, but I hope you can give me a response as soon as possible. We need to prepare for the Fashion show that will take place in three months, and without a designer, we are completely unprepared now.”
As Ella further elaborated upon the topic at hand, you couldn't contain your delight and kept examining the surrounding environment. A comparable chance had never arisen to you before, and you were determined not to let it slip away.
In the end, you gave her a piercing gaze, all the while maintaining a determined expression. “I accept.”
Ella found herself blinking multiple times, trying to confirm if she had understood your words correctly. “Wait, what?”
"I don't need to think about it, Ella. I know exactly what I want, and you can count on me.”
The tight, warm hug she gave you lasted for a few seconds, leaving you breathless with its robust squeeze. In response, Ella expressed her gratitude by using every bit of air in her lungs.
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“Lucienne,” "Morpheus called his librarian's name as he walked along the shelves. “Did you want to see me?”
The woman raised her face from the sizable volume she was contemplating, her glasses almost slipped down from her nose doing so. "Yes, my lord," she responded. "It appears that I omitted something in my previous research. About your human lady.”
Morpheus' attention was immediately piqued. “Tell me more.”
Lucienne directed her gaze at the Lord of Dreams, releasing a deep sigh. She turned the book around to grant him a view of its contents. "Perhaps you should see for yourself," she suggested.
Morpheus hesitated, then took a step closer to examine the book, which lay spread open in front of him. His eyes scanned the words imprinted on the bound scrolls, and a frown formed on his countenance as he absorbed their revelation.
He tilted his head upwards, once again meeting Lucienne's worried eyes.
"Sir, are you going to tell her?" she asked.
Morpheus allowed his fingertips to gently glide across the page, engaging in deep contemplation to determine what alternatives were available to him.
"Uhm, if I can make a suggestion, I think she should probably know," Matthew intervened, flying over the table and landing next to Morpheus' hand.
"You are not incorrect, Matthew,” he confirmed. “"Nonetheless, this needs to be approached with the utmost caution.”
For a moment, the raven glanced at Lucienne before redirecting his dark, glassy eyes towards the Endless once more. “I suppose so. Still, this is something she might find interesting to learn about. I definitely would.”
Being someone with extensive knowledge surpassing that of a typical mortal regarding his realm, his siblings and their place in the universe, Morpheus understood that the amount of information you had acquired up until this moment was already quite overwhelming for you to process alone. In light of this, the Endless wanted to give you the necessary time to adjust to the several truths you had discovered. He aimed to avoid making the already complex situation worse and refrain from adding fuel to the active fire.
"Thank you, Lucienne," he said, closing the book. "I shall reflect on this matter.”
Lucienne nodded, watching as Morpheus silently left with the tome tucked under his arm, his coat billowing behind him as he walked briskly.
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Upon arriving at your apartment, your mind was torn between two conflicting emotions. On one hand, you were in complete disbelief, yet also content and motivated, as the job of your dreams had materialized before your eyes. At the same time, you couldn't shake off the memory of the peculiar meeting you had earlier in the day, where those strange ladies discussed topics that were simply inconceivable to you.
The women you encountered seemed particularly eager in their efforts to portray Morpheus in a negative light. It seemed that their goal was to persuade you that your decision to align with him was impulsive and unwise. Furthermore, they claimed that the Lord of Dreams had once been married and conceived a child, whose name and story were well-documented and extensively explored in various literary works familiar to your kind.
The Fates, also known as the Kindly Ones, proclaimed that the Endless was directly responsible for the tragic fate of Orpheus. If the published books were indeed based on factual events, it was difficult for you to comprehend how the Endless could be solely and entirely accountable for the disastrous downfall of his son.
According to Greek mythology, Orpheus was the child of Calliope and Apollo, described as a famous musician, prophet, and celebrated poet. In the childhood fairytale you had with you, it was mentioned that, in certain instances, the King of Dreams was indeed associated with Apollo.
Despite your extensive research, you didn't manage to uncover any sort of information about Orpheus losing all his flesh at the behest of Apollo. You were on the verge of approaching Morpheus with a query, as the idea of him killing his own child was unimaginable and hard to believe.
However, Morpheus had started to open up about his past, describing the unfortunate circumstances that Nada had to endure because of his sorrow and broken heart. This made you question whether you should delve deeper into his personal matters, considering the sensitivity and privacy of the topic, which he probably wanted to forget.
That night, when you found him in your dreams, you realized that it wasn't the most appropriate moment to bring it up. With a warm smile masking your curiosity, you used the delightful news of your employment as a diversionary tactic. Morpheus, from his side, displayed no signs of suspecting anything, wholeheartedly congratulating you on your deserving success.
You were unaware that he was also hiding a crucial secret from you.
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A month later, the job you took at Corbyn&Jones proved to be one of the most demanding positions you've ever held, but also the most enjoyable and fulfilling role you could have asked for. When you first met the CEO, you had to make an effort to remain composed and ensure that your friendship with his wife wouldn’t impact your performance. However, as you worked alongside Oliver, you became more familiar with each other and developed a mutual respect. You discovered that he was truly open, easygoing, and down-to-earth.
On top of that, your colleagues proved to be incredibly kind, supportive, and engaging individuals to work with. It didn't take long for you to form strong friendships with most of them, casually enjoying tea or coffee together during your short breaks.
In the office, you could rely on them to successfully complete tasks and execute projects. Every minute spent there felt more like a fun occurrence rather than a stressful routine focused solely on making money. Everything was perfect, in proper sync with the ideal working environment you had envisioned for yourself.
If there was anything to nitpick and scrutinize, the one factor that would be considered an impediment was that one woman, Maya Davies, who glowered at you from afar on the day you came in. According to what Ella told you, she used to be Isaac's right-hand person and had aspirations of becoming the new Fashion Designer of the company. Whenever you had to spend time alone with her for the sake of your work, she seemed to scrutinize you with contempt, speaking minimally and making a few passive-aggressive remarks. Ella admitted that Maya had a tendency to be boastful in her behavior, but she was still considered a valuable addition to their team for her marketing skills.
Eventually, you accepted the situation as it was. The issue with Maya was a minor obstacle that had minimal impact on the progress of your ongoing projects and dwelling on it would be a waste of time and effort.
Furthermore, your relationship with Morpheus remained smooth, even though you still couldn't define its true nature despite the clear affection he had for you. He would occasionally visit you in the Waking World or join you on your extensive nocturnal adventures in his realm of dreams, adding more depth to your ever growing connection and intimacy.
That night, you stood by Morpheus' side in front of the old tavern once known as The White Horse. Instead of its usual decrepit state, it appeared fully intact and emanated a typical medieval atmosphere from within.
"Wait, is this...?”
"It is the year 1389," he confirmed. “Come with me.”
You followed him with a sense of bewilderment, observing as he opened the door and gestured for you to step inside before him. As soon as you entered the tavern, you were immediately captivated by the soft glow of candlelight and the sight of numerous citizens adorned in antique garments. The tavern was bustling with men and women, sipping from large wooden mugs with metal handles, engrossed in lively conversations that filled the air with a vibrant murmur.
Morpheus guided you to an unoccupied table and pulled out a chair for you. Without saying a word, you settled yourself next to him and took another moment to inspect your surroundings.
“Can they see us?”
“They cannot. This is a recollection of the past,” he explained.
"A memory within a dream? I’m curious now. Why did you bring me here?”
Morpheus’ lips raised into a small grin as he looked at the farthest table a few feet away from your position. Following his line of sight, you noticed a group of men joyfully indulging in their leisure time at the tavern. They sat comfortably, clutching large tankards in their hands. Among them, you immediately recognized a familiar man, someone you couldn't possibly overlook.
“Hob?!”
There was no room for error, it was him. He had shoulder-length hair, a full beard, wore a dark brown cloak, and what appeared to be a commoner uniform with long sleeves underneath. He laughed and enjoyed his alcoholic drink, completely unaware of your presence and the future that awaited him.
Morpheus simply made an affirmative sound, silently observing the scene next to you.
And then, you heard Hob speaking, while Morpheus waved his hand in a subtle gesture to silence the other sounds around you and amplify the volume of what caught his interest.
“Look, I’ve seen death. I lost half my village to the Black Death. I fought under Buckingham in Burgundy, it’s not like I don’t know what death is.”
Hob's demeanor suddenly turned serious as he addressed the other men, sharing his perspective with them. “Death is… stupid.”
His friends chuckled. “You’re a fool, Hob.”
“Nobody has to die,” he insisted. “The only reason people die is… is ‘cause everyone does it. You all just go along with it. But not me.”
You couldn't help but let out an amused guffaw, vigorously shaking your head. While you could easily recognize his common attributes, it was apparent to you that Hob was clearly inexperienced and quite immature in comparison to the person he would eventually become.
"I've made up my mind; I'm not going to die," he said confidently.
The men around him burst into laughter, but Hob maintained his smile, unwavering in the face of their expected reaction.
“Hobs, death comes for every man.”
“You don’t know that, I might get lucky. There’s always a first time. There’s so much to do, so many things to see.” He took hold of his tankard again. “Women to swive. Ale to drink. People to drink with.”
With that, Hob raised his arm and the others followed suit, cheering and clinking their tankards together in a lively toast.
Morpheus gestured with his hand once more, directing your attention to two other figures, a man and a woman, who also bore a striking resemblance to someone you knew. A younger version of Morpheus, with his longer hair and a dark tunic that matched the time period, stood before his sister, who in turn was disguising herself as a nun.
They were both the same, except for their different appearances.
With a warm, affectionate smile, you turned to the Morpheus sitting beside you, gently running your fingers through his short, tousled locks. "Nice hair," you remarked, referring to the style he had in 1389.
Morpheus returned your smile with a slight curve of his lips.
“Why would any sensible creature crave an eternity of this?” Past Morpheus asked.
Teleute looked at him with a satisfied expression. “You could find out.”
He appeared delighted, intrigued by his sister's statement. "How?”
“I could grant him his wish,” she replied.
The other Endless raised his eyebrows, his mouth spreading into a mischievous grin. “Do that and he will be begging for death within a century, I assure you.”
“This will prove very interesting.”
Both siblings turned their gaze back to Hob's table, listening to the ongoing conversation among the mortal men.
“What will you do with all that life?”
“I can find better friends than you, I can tell you that.”
You giggled once more, resting your head against your palm as you propped your elbow on the tabletop.
Death then looked at Dream once more. “Are you gonna tell him, or should I?”
Morpheus gazed at her with the same smile as before, a glint of amusement shining in his eyes. “I shall.”
As he turned to make his way to the table, Teleute replied, "Very well, little brother." She watched him walk away with a satisfied expression on her face, and before turning away, she repeated, "Very well.”
Morpheus approached Hob's seated position with deliberate steps, coming to a stop and placing one hand on top of the other. In that moment, you observed that he had adorned himself with the same ruby that Roderick Burgess had stolen in 1916.
Silence descended upon the ones present as Hob’s attention was captured by with the enigmatic figure who stood tall near his chair.
“Did I hear you say you have no intention of ever dying?” Morpheus inquired.
Hob showed a hint of confusion, but he still went along with it, letting out a faint chuckle. “Uh, yeah. Yeah, that’s right.”
“Then you must tell me what it’s like,” Morpheus stated.
Hob continued to laugh.
“Let us meet here again, Robert Gadling,” Hob's face suddenly registered shock as he heard his name spoken by a complete stranger. “In this tavern of the White Horse in 100 years.”
Hob's companions laughed wholeheartedly, while Hob himself remained surprised. He showed an increased level of curiosity towards the man in front of him.
“A hundred years and I’m Pope Urban,” said one of his friends.
Meanwhile, Morpheus swiftly turned to his sister, who gave him an encouraging nod. He responded to her gesture with equal confidence.
“Don’t mind them,” Hob interjected. “A hundred years’ time, on this day?”
Morpheus agreed with an affirmative tilt of his head.
“I will see you in the year of our Lord 1489, then.”
After a moment of contented reflection, the Endless departed, holding the men's inquisitive gazes until he disappeared from view.
“Who was that, then, Hobsie?”
“Haven’t a clue. But tell you what, I’ll ask him in 100 years’ time.”
The surroundings suddenly became brighter and blurrier. You could still hear the voices of people conversing in the distance, but it was as if someone had turned down the volume of a television, leaving only a faint, unintelligible noise in the background.
And so, you turned to Morpheus, who met your gaze with silence, his eyes unwavering.
"Hob has told me about this day. It's remarkable how vivid his memories are, considering how much time has passed.”
And then your gaze shifted to his chest, searching for the missing ruby that was nowhere to be found. You delicately touched the fabric of his shirt with the tips of your fingers, tracing a path down to his upper abdomen.
“You’re not wearing the pendant.”
“No. The ruby was destroyed.”
“Oh.”
“No matter. The power that was enclosed into that jewel has returned to me.”
You looked down, taking one of his hands between yours, firmly gripping it as you placed it on the table. "Sometimes, I find myself pondering what you revealed to me that day. It pains my heart whenever I recall seeing you trapped in that cage.”
“Y/N-”
"You're okay now, right?”
Morpheus parted his lips as if about to respond to your question, but instead, he moved his beautiful blue eyes to the side, lost in contemplation. After a moment, he tightened his hold on your hand, offering a reassuring caress. “I am.”
A sense of tranquility washed over you as you heard his response. You reciprocated with a warm, genuine smile and gently brushed the surface of his palm with your thumb. You remained in that position for a while, gazing at each other's faces in silence.
Meanwhile, your mind drifted to the Fates and their revelations about Morpheus' son, yet you still lacked the courage to broach the subject in his presence. Once again, you opted to keep your thoughts to yourself, even though the burden of the secret was becoming increasingly uncomfortable as time passed by.
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"Dad, do I have any Greek roots?”
As soon as you posed that question to him, your father suddenly choked on his water. Tears welled up in his eyes as he desperately tried to regain his composure, coughing violently. You repeatedly patted him on the back, offering comfort as he gasped for breath.
"Are you all right?”
“Y-yes,” he declared, loudly clearing his throat. “I’m okay, I was drinking too fast.” You waited for him to stabilize himself, inhaling at a slower pace. “Greek roots? Where did that come from?”
"One of my coworkers asked me if I’m partially Greek because of my features," you lied with a subtle shrug. "I don't know much about our family, so I was curious.”
Your father demonstrated a rather odd nervousness, wiping his mouth and kneading the rear of his neck. "Well, if you do, it certainly must be from your mother's side.”
Upon mentioning his lover, you noticed a significant degree of melancholy and distress befall on your father. Your chest tightened with the sight of his despondent state, which led you to hastily grasp his shoulder in an earnest way.
"I'm so sorry, dad. I know how much it pains you to talk about her.”
He released a shaky sigh, smiling at you. “It’s okay, lovey. It’s been a long time.”
“But you still haven’t moved on.”
It took a brief moment for your father to come up with a reply. “No, I have not.”
"I can only imagine how hard it's been for you," you said. "The day I was born is also the day she passed away. Sometimes, I can't help but think that it was all my fault.”
“Absolutely not!” he exclaimed. “My dear, none of that happened because of you.”
“I just… I wish you could be happy, Dad.”
“Oh, but I am, sweetie. Even more so now that you’re following your dreams.”
You absentmindedly started toying with the food on your plate, rotating the fork on its surface. "Don't you get lonely? Now that Miss Bailey is no longer assisting you 24/7.”
He scoffed. "As good as she is in her profession, having her glued to my ass all day was not pleasant.”
A slight laugh escaped your throat. "I bet she's glad too. You drove her nuts.”
"Come on! Do you know how frustrating it is to have her following you to the bathroom's door? Good thing that I could still clean my butt on my own.”
The process of finishing your lunch proved to be a considerable challenge, with you chortling at all the jokes that your father offered. You recalled Morpheus' words about the connection between the two of you, which coud have enabled him to directly benefit from an Endless presence through you. As a result, seeing him sitting at the table, beaming and radiating vitality, made it seem as though he had never been ill in the first place.
And yet, you couldn't shake off the unsettling feeling of something mysterious lurking beneath the surface. There was an indescribable sense of an imposing secret being concealed from you, leaving you unable to pinpoint exactly what it was.
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Each day that went by, you became increasingly adept in your profession. The constantly rapid pace didn't seem to faze you, as you were completely absorbed in your creative pursuits. You would bring your unfinished assignments home and continue working on them until late into the night, fully engrossed in the process, without even glancing at the clock. Morpheus had to visit you to make sure everything was under control, as your absence from the Dreaming during sleep time was deemed unusual.
It was both amusing and flattering to see him sulking for attention, but the last thing you wanted was to cause him any worry, particularly in light of the past events involving Nada.
More often than not, you had to assure him that you would join him soon enough, rather than letting your work consume you until the early hours of the morning.
If anything, immersing yourself in a busy schedule helped keep your mind occupied with a multitude of things to process, preventing you from lingering on what the Kindly Ones had told you once again. The more you found yourself in his company, the harder it became to suppress your curiosity as it swam through you and threatened to emerge. Simultaneously, you yearned to provide him with solace for his profound loss, regardless of the passage of time.
One night, you came to the realization that you simply couldn't withhold it from him any longer. It took you a moment to recall your intentions as you crossed the threshold from your world to the realm of dreams, but once you did, you were completely unsure of how to initiate the conversation.
Although he was showcasing a variety of marvels and breathtaking landscapes that you could only imagine stumbling upon in the Waking World, you found it difficult to uphold your attentiveness on Morpheus’ face.
Eventually, the Endless concluded his narrative and turned his frowning gaze towards you. “My love?”
As soon as you heard his voice calling you, you turned back to him in a hazy state. “Mh?”
“Something’s wrong.”
“What is?”
“You are not listening to me. You seem… lost.”
“Poor Y/N, so naive and lost.”
“I’m not lost.”
“Yes you are, my child. We came to warn you, little one.”
You pondered the responses you could provide, but every excuse appeared feeble and ineffective.
"I have something to talk to you about,” you admitted in the end.
Morpheus tilted his head slightly. "Go on.”
With the opportunity to finally release the burden from your chest, you now felt uncertain, almost fearful, as you looked into his profound and intense eyes, preparing to discuss something so personal and dramatic. You were tempted to abandon the idea, to fabricate a different story and redirect his attention elsewhere, but you had never been skilled at deception. It wasn’t your forte.
Taking a deep breath, you began to explain. "The day I got my job, I encountered someone on my way to the interview. Three women dressed in black materialized before me, introducing themselves as 'The Kindly Ones'.”
A change came over Morpheus immediately. You could clearly notice the tension in his jaw, and his demeanor underwent a complete shift. His body became utterly motionless, as if he had been struck by a spell leading to his paralysis. "What?”
Your heart raced, as his evident shock mixed with anger did not bode well.
"I don't even know what they wanted from me," you continued with your speech. "They spoke in riddles, but... I believe their intention was to warn me about something. About... you.”
You could sense the ground slipping away beneath you as he closed his eyes in surrender.
"They revealed things to me, Morpheus. They spoke about your past, about something I shouldn't have learned about. Not like that.”
Crossing your arms, you felt a tremble shaking you as the wind picked up and the sky darkened once again, mirroring the alteration in his mood.
At that moment, you came to the realization that you probably should have let it go, brushed it off, and moved on from it all. But despite knowing it was a wrong thing to do, a part of you was desperate for more information directly from the source.
Morpheus remained silent, his neck growing even more rigid, his eyes sparkling as he fixed his gaze upon you with even greater intensity.
Yes, you should have stopped right there and then, as you knew. And yet, you failed to do so.
"They told me you were married to Calliope, the Muse of epic poetry. And that you had a son, Orpheus... who, according to them, perished by your own hand.”
“Y/N.”
The way he uttered your name sent chills down your spine, his voice resonating with a terrifying power, both formidable and filled with an ominous presence.
"Choose your words wisely.”
For the very first time, you were feeling positively intimidated by the man you had fallen in love with. Your enchanting Dream, so kind and wonderfully magical, now felt like a haunting nightmare ready to consume you.
"Please forgive me, I... I didn't mean to upset you," you said in your defense, as futile as it may be. "I realize that this is not something to be taken lightly. I simply want to understand how you're feeling about it, what led them to believe you were at fault.”
Hearing that, Morpheus appeared to grow even more enraged. "You dare meddle with my affairs?”
Your eyes were so wide that you thought they could pop out of their sockets at any random point. “No! I would never do that!” A loud thunderclap made you jump on the spot. "Morpheus, please. I’m trying to make sense of what I’ve heard. All mortals are familiar with the story of your son, what happened with Hades, with Eurydice, with the Maeneads. It has been documented in numerous books and performed in countless theatrical works for many years.”
This time, the Endless remained silent, but the way he scrutinized you now, with such a stark and heartless expression, made you yearn to rewind your dream and restrain yourself from speaking the truth in the first place.
You let the cat out of the bag, and there was no way for you to put it back into it.
"If these depictions are based on reality, if our narrative is grounded in actual events, why are the Fates spreading lies about you?”
As menacing and invincible as he could be, Morpheus was not the monster that everyone portrayed him to be. Roderick and Alex Burgess, the former basement guards, now the Kindly Ones. How much suffering and persecution did he have to endure?
Eventually, Morpheus revealed a truth that was not what you were expecting to hear.
“Because it is, in fact, quite true.”
You looked at him in disbelief, carefully observing his body language and searching for a glimmer of hope in his somber, reddened eyes.
“I don’t believe it,” you declared.
“Whether you do or don’t, it cannot change what I have done.”
"Are you suggesting that the Maeneads were not real? That you were the one who tore your own son apart? No, I'm not buying it. I know you are better than that.”
He approached you, closing the distance until his face was just inches away from your nose. The version of him standing before you was hardly recognizable, twisted by a darkness far beyond what you could had ever imagined.
But deep down, you knew you shouldn't have been surprised. After all, he was not only the King of Dreams but also the ruler of Nightmares.
“You know nothing about me.”
The words stung, but you made a conscious choice to stay strong and unwavering.
"You're right, maybe I don't. But I trusted you when nobody else did, even without you speaking a single word to me.”
Morpheus couldn't deny the strength of your will, but given his pride, you should have anticipated his next response.
"I never sought your trust. I did not ask a human like you to come to my aid.”
With regards to the reason for his sudden change in temperament and the subsequent surge of rage, it was understandable to witness him shielding himself with a cold and emotionless temperament. Nevertheless, the venom in his words found a way to penetrate your chest, causing your heart to constrict in pain. You took in a sharp breath, and a single tear escaped from the corner of your eye, rolling down your cheek.
"This isn't fair," you replied, your voice breaking.
“No. It is not.”
You could tell that there was something more, something he clearly didn't want to reveal. You understood that he didn't desire to hurt you, as causing harm to others, like he did to Nada, was his way of concealing and alleviating his own suffering.
“Please, don’t do this. I was taken by those three, just tell me what happened. What truly happened.”
Morpheus gulped a couple of times, pressing his eyebrows together and intently observing you with a smidge of annoyance, blended with astonishment, at your stubbornness.
You had to consider the possible repercussions. It was within the realm of possibility that he would simply choose to banish you from the Dreaming, without providing a response to what you wanted to know. Still, you didn't retreat, holding on to your consciousness to stay asleep and lucid for as long as necessary.
Finally, he complied. "Very well. If that is what you wish.”
“Yes.”
Morpheus stepped back, distancing himself from your personal space and averting his eyes. “My son came to me, seeked my assistance to plead his case to Hades. To bring back the soul of his deceased wife.”
“And did you?”
“I did not.”
An ominous black fog was gradually forming in the distance, stealthily covering the ocean with a deathly curtain of gloom.
“I told him to bid the dead farewell, to grieve, and to continue with his life.”
You listened to his tale, anticipating more information being appended to it. Once he met your gaze again without further expanding on what he had mentioned, you found yourself shrouded in a cloud of bafflement.
“Wait, that’s it…?”
“You asked.”
Your mouth was agape, but no sound emanated from it. While you could accept a certain level of resentment held towards him for turning Orpheus down, which was followed by his son’s subsequent decision to travel to the Underworld alone, it was difficult for you to believe that this was the only reason leading the young man down a similar path.
"Have you seriously considered yourself at fault, because ot this?" you asked him, unable to accept such an explanation. "We all have the power to make choices, Morpheus. There are always different circumstances that influence our destiny and lead to different outcomes. Orpheus willingly chose to go to the Underworld, you didn't force him.”
"You merely feign understanding, when the matter is far beyond your range of comprehension,” he said firmly.
"I don't need to pretend anything. What else is there to understand apart from what you just told me?" you snapped, clearly frustrated in your voice.
In an instant, you could feel your own body vibrate in accordance with his thunderous words.
"Are you aware of the significance of a father picking the head of his son on the seashore?” He questioned.
“I-”
You were left speechless, frozen in place, as you contemplated the thought of Morpheus facing that very same fate. You were aware of the risks your revelation could have brought to you and him, but you didn't stop reflecting, not even for a second, on the sorrowful memories that would have been unearthed.
It was well within your rights to inquire following the interaction that took place with the Kindly Ones. Nevertheless, it was a story that held no connection to your personal existence. You had faith in Morpheus, therefore you would have never asserted that he was the abomination whom the Fates seemed to desire him to be. Why did you allow your curiosity to completely override his sentiments?
"Hold your tongue when touching upon subjects that do not concern you.”
The way he spoke to you made you feel like you had been reduced to an insignificant speck of dirt in his eyes. He viewed you as a creature that he detested, one with whom he didn't want to have anything in common with, ever again.
“Morpheus-”
“Leave.”
“Please, just let me-”
“This dream is over.”
You sprung awake with a heavy gasp escaping your lips, feeling disoriented as your vision adjusted to the gentle glow of your room, emanating from the window. The sun had not yet appeared on the horizon, but you were convinced that it would be impossible for you to drift back to sleep given your current distress.
You straightened your posture on the mattress, allowing the sheets to slip off your body as you stared at your hands and replayed the sequence of events from your dream in your mind. The seashell resting on your nightstand glistened with a captivating radiance, containing a fragment of the realm from which you had just been banished, probably forever.
You sucked in the air, feeling your innards writhing and your chest being ablaze from a raging fire that could not be tamed or contained.
"What have I done..." you whispered aloud, allowing guilt to course through your entire being for the rest of the night.
You messed up. Big time.
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The following day, everyone noticed that the energy had dissipated from you during your work hours. While you didn't allow that to influence the caliber of your services, your usual smile was extinct from your face, and your eyes appeared to be as blank as those of a doll.
Due to your significant inner exasperation, you were unable to care in any way regarding Maya's provocations. She continued issuing them, notwithstanding your annoyance with everything around you.
"Were you bitten by a spider this morning?" she taunted you, sipping her coffee while sitting on the table in the break room with one leg crossed over the other. “You look terrible.”
You inhaled deeply, waiting for your own beverage to be produced by the machine. "Ever the sweet snowflake, are you, Maya?”
The woman let out a forceful giggle as she swished her voluminous, curly ink-black hair off her shoulders. “I’m just stating facts.”
Once your warm drink finished being dispensed, you took it in your hand and put on one of the fakest, most devilish grins your lips had ever formed. Without faltering, you turned to the poisonous woman, delivering such a cold, piercing look that her own smirk was wiped away like never before.
"I see you like playing the part of the Evil Queen like an average middle school girl, yet you should know how those stories typically end," you calmly remarked, your words laced with a cutting edge. "I win, you lose. Try to keep that in mind, will you?”
Seeing her rendered speechless was utterly priceless for you. You had constantly tried to ignore her hostility, pretending like you had no qualms with her constant jealousy. On that particular day, you were so mentally drained that you solely wanted a semblance of peace and seclusion, something that she had always failed to provide.
As you left, you could hear her groaning to herself, relishing in the way she cursed as you continued walking along the corridor with a heavy heart.
You didn't want to fall asleep that night. For all you knew, Morpheus no longer wanted to see your face in his realm again after what you did.
You kept your mind occupied as much as possible, engaging in your typical activities such as work, reading, and watching TV. You were consuming copious amounts of coffee with the intention of staying awake and maintaining your alertness intact.
Deep down, you harbored the hope that Morpheus would reappear, concerned about your absence from the Dreaming and prepared to patch things up with you after calming himself down. Be that as it may, even though the clock read 4 a.m., there was still no trace of him in your apartment.
You waited, praying with great fervor, and made a tremendous effort not to shed tears over the spilt milk. As the sunlight slowly spread across the sky, you felt completely exhausted and profoundly heartbroken.
Back at work, you felt like a walking dead, moving slowly around the office, typing on your computer, and taking charge of the photography session for your debut collection. Despite witnessing your own creations come to fruition, you couldn't find any joy in anything. The struggle to stay focused on your tasks was overwhelming, leaving you devoid of the happiness you should have felt.
Eventually, it became evident to Ella that you were not behaving like yourself anymore. Out of nowhere, she grasped your arm and silently led you to her office, while informing the rest of the team about your break.
She made you sit on her couch and looked straight into your eyes. "All right, sweetie, it's time to spill the beans.”
You looked at her with a puzzled expression. "What?"
"Don't 'what' me. You've been acting strange since yesterday, so tell me what's going on.”
“Are you asking as my boss?”
“I’m asking as your friend."
After a brief pause, you responded, "It's not a big deal, really.”
“Oh no, I won’t accept that.”
You watched as she filled a couple of empty glasses with a drink. She handed one to you across the coffee table and asked, "Y/N, is your father all right?”
You nodded slightly and took a quick sip of your drink. "Don't worry, he's perfectly fine.”
“What’s bothering you, then?”
You let out a long, anguished sigh, carefully setting the glass down and crossing your fingers over one knee. “I think I broke up with my boyfriend,” you confessed.
‘Was he even my boyfriend in the end?’
She froze in her actions, her eyes widening as she sat up straight, intensely staring at you. "Wait, are you serious? I thought you two were doing really well."
"This time, it was actually my fault. Mostly, at least."
Ella turned her glass in her hand, glancing at the swirling liquid. "Did you have an argument?"
"We did. I made him angry.”
“How?”
You swallowed the growing lump in your throat, crossing your arms and leaning against the back of the couch. Your drink was completely forgotten. "You see, I heard something from someone. It's a secret from his past, something really significant and personal," you explained. “I wanted to ask him about it, but I thought it would be better to just wait and see if he would share it himself. He’s only just started opening up to me and we haven’t known each other for very long.”
Ella smiled warmly at you. "Curiosity always kills the cat. So, did you confront him about it?”
"I did. I just didn't want to keep any secrets from him. Unfortunately, I pushed things a little too far. I touched upon a very sensitive subject, and he didn't appreciate it.”
Ella hummed as she brought her glass to her lips, finishing the last of her drink. "And you haven't spoken since then?”
"No. He doesn't want to see me or hear from me, evidently.”
She licked her lips, savoring the lingering taste of liquor. "Do you love him?”
"I've never loved anyone the way I love him.”
“Does he know that?”
“I…. think he might….?”
Her jaw dropped. "Are you telling me that he doesn't even know about your feelings?”
You shook your head. "It's... complicated. He's different from the other men I've dated.”
“Aren’t they always?”
If only you could explain to her just how different and unique Morpheus was. “I don’t know what to do, Ella. I wish I could apologize to him.”
She pondered for a moment, a wide grin spreading across her face as she realized something. "Why don't you write him a letter?”
“A… letter?”
"I know it may seem old-fashioned, but I did that with Oliver when we broke up a few years ago. It helped me release the emotions I had inside. I opened my heart to him and wrote down everything I felt.”
You blinked in surprise. "You and Oliver broke up…?”
"At least twice. We had our ups and downs, but we managed to work through it.”
You pondered the logistics of sending your personal correspondence to Dream Of the Endless. Was there even a way to communicate with the Dreaming from the Waking World without falling asleep first?
Summoning Matthew, the raven who could travel between the two worlds, seemed like a good way to deliver your message to Dream. However, you were unsure of how to call upon him, as Morpheus was the only one who could track his movements and see through his eyes.
Nevertheless, the concept did not seem like it would be a bad idea to you.
"Thank you, Ella. I will definitely take your suggestion into consideration.”
"Great! Go ahead, reconcile, kiss and make babies!”
“Ella!”
“What?”
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Describing Morpheus as restless would be an understatement. Ever since he awakened you from the Dreaming, he had been experiencing excruciating convulsions and constriction in his insides. As a powerful and ancient entity, it was quite atypical for him to experience such physical torment.
Morpheus was enraged, truly. But besides that, he was berating himself for being too quick-witted and allowing his arrogance and pride to take over once again. He was already consumed by self-hatred for his impulsive outburst, and he actually felt more upset with the Kindly Ones than with you.
Despite your efforts to delve deeper into his most agonizing memory, one he had tirelessly tried to bury for eternity, your ultimate objective was for him to confront his guilt and find solace. Unlike everyone else, you didn't accept the Fates' words at face value as they had intended. You managed to keep your encounter with them hidden for over a month, always projecting unwavering confidence and fearlessness in his presence.
In fact, he didn't nourish any hatred towards you. On the contrary, he yearned for your return to the Dreaming, longing to embrace you in his arms. He eagerly awaited your arrival the previous night, but to his dismay, you were nowhere to be found within the depths of his realm.
From a distance, Matthew watched you. And from this, Morpheus understood that you resisted seeking rest and remained anchored to the Waking World until morning. Not only did he make you cry, but he also prevented you from falling asleep.
Would you ever be willing to forgive him for his cruelty? Would you let him take you back, or would you despise him and abandon him like Calliope did before you?
As he became lost in his thoughts, Lucienne cautiously entered the Throne Room. Morpheus sat there like a despondent cat, his long coat draped over the stairs as he perched there.
"My Lord," she said, interrupting his self-loathing. "Something has arrived. I believe this is for you.”
Morpheus glanced up, extending his hand to receive the folded paper that she was holding. “What is it?”
"It seems to be a letter, sir," she said. "I will leave you to it.”
Lucienne spun on her heels and walked away, the sound of her footsteps reverberating off the walls until she disappeared into the library. Morpheus gazed at the paper with curiosity, his name beautifully written on the outside in graceful calligraphy.
In an instant, his heart leaped into his throat, for he knew precisely who had penned it.
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Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 (currently reading) Go to Chapter 11 (coming soon) ->
Read on AO3!
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worms-in-my-brain · 2 months
Text
Having affective empathy deficits because you have ASPD and cognitive empathy deficits because you have autism is wild. Especially when you have a high need for cognition and a high cognitive capacity. It’s like constantly playing 4D chess.
Someone telling me a story about something I have zero personal experience with? I am SO useless. Usually I refer to past situations I’ve been in so I know how the other person might be feeling and what advice I would give but when I have 0 context and I’m already bad at cognitive empathy. And I can’t even relate to how they feel or ‘feel for them’ even if they directly tell me. It’s like idk what do you want me to say. That sure is a situation. Do fuck all for all I care. Except I can’t say that, because I know people are expected to care about that stuff… and on some level, if it’s a friend, I do care—but the barrier to my understanding is so huge that I end up only caring from a, like, theoretical standpoint. Like yeah in general if my friend gets hurt I care. But also. I have no emotions regarding how you respond to this specific situation. And then my ability to engage on the topic starts to slim down to frantic attempts to engage social scripts so that I don’t show what’s going on in my head.
It’s also insane because like. I always think that I have good cognitive empathy (for an autistic person) until the end of the day. And then I drop my mask and I realise how tired I am. Or when I’m at a social gathering for a while and I use so much energy I wind up practically hiding behind a friend so nobody talks to me. And then I realise that, yeah, I might be able to use it to function to some extent, but every time I do I’m using all of these mental functions that I barely even realise I’m using anymore that it just nukes me.
AuSPD is a pretty intense combo in that it really severely damages your ability to relate to other people. Especially when the impacts they have on your thoughts make it so that, often, your perspective is only understood by yourself. (Its why I enjoy online communities sm—somebody out there is BOUND to relate EVENTUALLY and I like seeing that I’m not alone).
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zeglythofficial · 3 months
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hey girl! do you have any fav moments between T and R that would be considered like, underrated or not talked about as much as others?
Hey :)
Great question! I had to think for a while because there so many moments that I love to rewatch because they’re just so cute or adorable. I don’t know if these moments are “underrated” though because fans have pointed out every interaction between them haha.
I’ll start with my fav moments between them!
1. The Hits Radio interview where they tested their knowledge on the HG. Everyone was great in this video, including J and H, but R and T were on a whole other level. The chemistry sparkled here and the potential between them is incredible. It’s what made me ship them actually and I raised my eyebrow.
T is a huge fan of her in red lipstick, his eyes were glued to her mouth the entire time ;)
1:50 - 1:58 - the teasing, finishing each other’s thoughts, their body language - wow.
My ultimate fav moment between them in any interview will forever be 3:09 - 3:18 - he was mesmerized by her and her smile/giggle was so beautiful and the way he grinned back because his teasing worked was so special to see. I got butterflies from watching them. Can only imagine witnessing that in person.
3:56 - she looked at him like every gf does when bf says something stupid and T immediately corrected himself haha love it
The body language in this video is excellent. Very close, intimate and the eye contact was scorching. They play off each other so well and you can tell they’ve been around each other a lot because of how in sync their words and ideas are.
Example at 7:58, they shared one look and both said “Peeta!” with such playfulness. T is always caught off guard in moments like that so he looks away slightly and giggles to himself while looking at her mouth because he’s in disbelief that they’re so similar ;) He continues to be playful at 8:19 and her knowledge was so impressive, he sighed in awe! One of his love languages is knowledge I think so he was pleased with how great she was here.
2. As I mentioned above, T is always caught off guard when they have in sync moments sometimes. For example in their KISS interview, at 0:30 - 0:35, he paused because of how in sync they were and looked a little shocked lol
What I find interesting is 3:22 where R is caught off guard by the interviewer asking how their kiss was, she stuttered and T grinned and asked her how it was also. Then she explains that it’s professional work, he kept his face neutral/blank and I think it’s because he genuinely was curious to hear her talk about their kiss. But of course she brought up J to avoid answering.
He stared at her a LOT through this interview. It’s fascinating because he seemed to be listening intently and equally lost in thought. From 5:55 - 6:36 he just stared at her, listening and his eyes were glued to her movements and he said “you are very good” so sincerely. He was so impressed by her empathy.
Side note: I love how throughout the entire promo tour, T was trying to get R to go to karaoke with him haha (5:30) he mentioned it in many interviews.
3. In the BBC Radio 1 interview, 1:27 - 1:32 - they are temporarily lost in their own world and T snapped out of it and brought their focus back to the interviewer lol
They do it again at 3:25 - 3:40 where he pulls her into a hug because she’s so sincere and supportive. Again at 3:57 - 4:02 they just tease each other as the interviewer tries to ask another question ;) Again at 7:57 - 8:08 where T teases R about her sister. Again at 10:44 - 11:02. Again at 11:29 - 12:00 - he loves teases her and making her smile. They easily fall into their own bubble.
Just general observations:
1. I love how they both wear ring jewelry. It’s cute and silly but I always notice it.
2. Casually touches just because! Usually people touch for a purpose like reassurance, comfort, etc - they just touch because they can. It signals that they have a closeness to them.
3. The feet and the eyes are the easiest way to determine what a relationship is like. R and T already have great eye contact but unfortunately we don’t have many interviews with their feet except in this one. It’s very brief but we see it. Subconsciously, your feet point towards the most you feel most connected to in the room.
H and J both have common body language, very casual and normal, their bodies facing the crowd and not each other. Open to conversation and engaging with everyone in the room, not focused on anyone in particular. Francis and Nina are the same.
R and T are the total opposite. Their legs are crossed and their feet are pointed towards each other, almost creating a heart/intertwined shape. Almost like footsie in a way which is how people flirt and be sneaky about it. Shoulders almost touching, especially from R. R has the space to move closer to H but she chooses to angle herself towards T.
4. T gets flustered when R compliments him. He always does a head scratch (nervous!) afterward, avoids eye contact and she looks embarrassed that she went on a long rant about how she adores him. But you can tell he appreciates it :)
There’s so many more moments I like but I’ll stop for now ;)
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myymi · 1 year
Note
Do you have any neurodivergent (stimming, sensory processing issues, behaviors, etc.) headcanons for Tails and friends?
YOU.
I HAVE BE WAAAAITING FOR THIS
okok YES.
just team sonic cause i don't have a ton of time djbdjdbd
we'll start with the best boy (because i have the msot for him) ;
Tails
my austisic baby 🫶
stims;
>hand flapsss
>straight up takes flight because he wags his tails too hard
>lil feet kicks if he's sitting on a chair or smthn
>hops, lots of hops
>rocking
>walking on tiptoes
>tappin his pencil
sensory issues;
>velvet is a no.
>if his food has too many flavors in it he gets overwhelmed and cannot eat it
>loud noises and bright lights SUCK
>unaware of normal pain levels (he either feels it 100% or 0%, no in between)
special interests;
>planes !!
>but i like to think there's some, like, really low quality game franchise he loves
>sonic /j
hyperfixations;
>current: chemistry
>old: history of the ark
Sonic
adhd and autistic baby
stims;
>spins in cirxles
>drums on his legs with his fingers
>rapid blinking,,
>tappin foot
sensory issues;
>cotton... he can't touch it, it's so gross
>poor fine motor skills (like writing)
special interest;
>BOOKSSS he loves em
hyperfixations;
>his current one is chao in space
>he used to have one on the game in tails's special interest section djbdjdbrbd
knuckles
autism :]] i wanna say he has ocd too, but i want to research that a bit more before i, like, fully commit to that hc (though, those with it/educated on it more than i am are welcome to share their opinions on it didbdjdn)
stims;
>chews on thingss
>cracking his knuckles n other joints
>humming
sensory issues;
>struggles to focus in busy areas
>overwhelmed by strong sounds
>loud noises djdbjdnf
special interest;
>the master+chaos emeralds
hyperfixation;
>history abt things on the surface
other things;
>while mint is his favorite, chili dogs are tails' comfort food
>he's also super clingy w/ sonic n knuckles
>sonic's a visual thinkr
>knuckles tends to be kinda unaware of awkward moments
>meanwhile; tails is hyper-aware of awkward moments
>they all go non verbal at times
>sonic has low/no empathy
>tails has high empathy
>they all struggle with normal society stuff djebejd it's confusing
>tails pays a lot of attention to details
>they all struggle with maintaining eye contact, but sonic struggles the most
all of them are diagnosed by tails because doctor visits are rough for them
(basically i headcanon that doctors are kinda more worried about what makes sonic, tails, n knuckles so different from tiger mobians rather than focusing on making them better {it sucks being rlly different sometimes})
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bisolationist · 4 months
Note
sweetie take a deep breath. stop trying to think of your own victimhood and just listen to the full thing for a moment okay? you don't have to publish this if you are going to have a tantrum about it just try and have some empathy and reflect. we don't know what happened to you and it was probably something you have every right to feel raw about. but @female-eren is right. To talk about misogyny of rape we have to talk about the different levels of badness. It is a rude way to say it but it is true, what happened to you is bad but it does not reach the same level of horrific if we are looking at a scale of bad acts. because yes she is right that penetration is by far the highest degree by many orders of magnitude more and is the main identifier. It is like comparing an earthquake that destroys a city to one that trembles shelves. There's important reasons the legal definition of rape is penetration and we need to have the same ideas when looking at the whole. I understand that you are mad because you haven't experienced it, if you only had a glimpse you would agree your situation was much lesser and is an insult to comparison.
You rape-apologists can keep your laughable faux-concern. I'm so tired of hearing about how you're all soooo torn on the legal definition of rape, or that you think people shouldn't be mean to me uwu (what do you expect me to do? clap?) but that I need to understand how vastly inferior you think my situation is, purely on the basis that you choose not to empathize with it. The fact that y'all think you're all coming off as suuuper kind and reasonable is fucked up and fooling no one but yourselves.
I don't know why you all think this NEEDS to be a binary situation where penetration = serious horrific issue, no penetration = whiny losers who need to shut up about non-horrific bullshit.
y'all seem to think consent, use of pain or force, intentional degradation, control, use of drugs, grooming or pedophilia, and every other factor is completely irrelevant by comparison and not worth thinking about seriously.
Someone who was penetrated but didn't suffer any of the above deserves the sympathy and support of a real victim (and I do agree). But apparently, according you y'all, someone who wasn't penetrated but was begging for their rapist to stop, who was under pain, who couldn't think straight, whose body was being forced, who was being insulted and demeaned during the act intentionally - nope absolutely 0% degradation or real pain there, that's a whiny loser who needs to understand their rape is "several orders of magnitude" lesser. Like you all can hide it behind as many layers of "well you have every right to feel raw about that uwu I'm not saying it's not traumatic, I'm just saying it shouldn't be treated as an equal situation (when it's obviously soooooooo much lesser and insignificant)" as you want but it's still quite obvious you're being condescending and belittling. Eat glass. The fact you're all so eager to send me this condescending bullshit despite the fact I've made it clear I *do* know what it's like to be penetrated against my will shows you don't even care about penetration, you all care about shutting up victims that spread a message different than your two-dimensional take that just boils down "male victims bad and stupid lololol". It's been two months. Go gush with female-eren about how fucking awesome female rapists are or about how raping boys is sooo harmless and chill or whatever the fuck, but don't send it to me if it's anonymous cowardly bullshit.
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c0rvidbones · 1 month
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hello I love your art a whole lot!! tell me more about Wit (he's hot and evil and I require more juicy details) and Ruby (his design goes so hard) please?
oh my god hi i did not expect to come back to 20 notifs. (/pos) youve given me a much needed ego boost tonight thank you. is it bad i cant remember having ever posted ruby art?? ive only ever gotten One comm of him which is a crime, my violent martyr son should rly get more love than i give him 😔 but thank you for asking! buckle up this is gonna be a long fuckin post ♡ everything under the cut including relevant character art
WIT
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behold, all art of wit i have including one i havent posted here bc i never actually finished it and the wip of him being a silly giggly boy. pls know i came up with him like MAYBE a month ago. two, tops.
SO wit is actually a what-if au of another oc of mine, his name is doodle. doodle (seen below) is a very robin-hood-esque oc, honorable thief and kindhearted, swashbuckler rogue that dual wields rapiers bc hes insane. but hes insane in like a normal way. he was a horrible child but he did grow out of it and its rare to see him w his hair down so pardon me making him look absurdly pretty in that one.
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as you can see there are some (but not MANY) differences between the two. kid wit does have the starry hands/peets im just forgetful dont @ me about it djdjdj
ANYWAYS so the what-if of the au that wit is, essentially, little singular things didn't happen to people in that au world. it goes like so;
wit: never met his childhood best friend when he was a freshly injured orphan. was alone from the (elf) ages of 0-16. ended up studying magic (illusion wizard) since he didn't have someone to lean on for that sort of thing.
laika (wit's mom): never truly broke out of an archfey's madness curse. stuck with a very twisted version of the spell Tasha's Hideous Laughter burned into her mind. everything is funny and if it's scary? even funnier. she died briefly. shes back now, but still madnessed.
perseverance (wit's dad): never saved his mother from a death blow in the be-all end-all fight to save his home. was held back by someone who he thought was a friend, killed that person and then ultimately spiralled so hard that he became a lich. may or may not have accidentally killed laika.
something something one decision can change your whole life, me and my friend loved playing with that concept.
okay now that you know a lil lore/history i can dive into what wit is like.
as a kid (drawn with the short megafloofy hair) he's very mischievous and bastardly, almost always smiling or grinning but it's more to lean into the uncanny valley effect his eyes cause than out of any actual joy or anything. he doesn't Blink and he knows it unnerves people because he also has a freakishly high insight (i think its like a +9 or smth??? at level 9??). he loves to come up with fucked up spells, like. for example i saw a silly post on here the other day that was very jokingly having a wizard cast a spell of "10000 bricks until you die" but then i was immediately aware wit would (1) come up with that spell, make it functional, and have it unfortunately obliterate everyone that gets hit with it, and (2) he would call it Wit's Bricks which i think is fuckin funny. he would also come up with spells of like. cause heatstroke. boil all fluid in your body. FREEZE all fluid in your body. he's a little freak with extremely low empathy for those he isn't connected to with blood ties. that said, he's kind to his family (albeit very blunt and will call them out if theyre being stupid) and inquisitive. he DID look his dad in the eye when he met him for the first time and went "are you dead?" which. again, hilarious, but BRUTALLY blunt. he then called his dad cool because yes his dad is now a lich and therefore undead. he's a little freak but he's still a kid and that is ultimately his saving grace, what small child isn't a little freak.
as an adult (long ponytail) i get a feel of him being aro and using romance as a way to manipulate people. he's definitely still not a good person and far more stoic than he was as a child. also he most definitely maintains a constant illusion to make it seem like his eyes are always closed, which lends an air of mystery to the strange elf that seems to always be standing right behind every throne in every kingdom of faerun. i say this because i like to think he would become what's called a King's Wit, which is like a combo of royal advisor, court mage, and "guy the regent has insult other nobility since insults are beneath the reigning royal". he uses all of that to his advantage, gaining the ear and trust of every single person of noble blood that is part of any royal or ruling court, and he will bend and twist their choices so subtly that they won't realise he led them to ruin until it's already too late. which is his ultimate plan. he's STILL somewhat a robin hood style of character, but he takes it a bit further and with far less kindness to the nobility. he guts their coffers completely and every hoarded coin down to the last copper inevitably will land its way conveniently into the lap of the common folk. he does take a healthy chunk for himself - did you know being a wizard was EXPENSIVE in dnd btw? i didnt until i made wit - but most of it is for the local citizens. he does this everywhere he goes if he sees that it needs to happen. fucker topples kingdoms For Fun, because he never gets caught or credited with the ruin he leaves behind himself. he's awful. he probably still comes up with fucked up spells and he manipulates his way into wherever he wants to be. i love him.
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RUBY
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behold! @polterpumpkin drew my (not very) little guy for me! this is part of a greater set but this is the fully coloured one and arguably my fave bc it captures the absolute batshit energy ruby brings to the table.
ruby is a tiefling that was born in a lab. voluntarily, his parents participated in a sort of study that wanted to eval why it is tieflings could be born to non-tiefling parents. (both his parents are half-orcs, interestingly!) he participated in it up to a certain point, before he got sick of being poked and prodded and Watched. that's when he demanded to be released and, when he wasn't, both his parents helped him escape, unfortunately leaving his other two tiefling-born siblings behind in the process. both parents Died helping him escape, and he was embittered as is by the whole study bs, and then to have his parents die Saving him? it left him with this sort of hole he didn't know how to feel.
so he fills that hole with every vice he finds agreeable. he drinks, he fights, and he drinks again. he's a drunken monk, and one full of unbridled rage and a death wish. he isn't my happiest oc but he isn't my worst off (that would be talisman bloodhunter). he's constantly seeking a grand and worthy cause to die for, literally. he's a wannabe martyr, because he doesn't think he has anything to live for. no lovers, no friends, no allies, MAYBE a coworker or two on the occasion he's needed (he is so not needed most of the time, because it isn't often any job needs an angry monk tief to glare around the place). he has just those two sides to himself - party animal and underground drunk brawler - because he doesn't want to think about the pain underneath them both. he's tragic in a very human way, hilariously enough, but he's not a bad person. even if he's being dragged by the tail to do a job, he's ultimately going to be helpful and he ALWAYS keeps his team alive. he'll grumble about it but he'll do it, and if you thank him he brushes it off, muttering something or other about how it's just his job, don't Thank him for that. i think having a friend would Fix him but fuck if i know what would get past his thick skin 😔
i dont get to play or write ruby really, not for any specific reason other than the dnd games im in have been going for So long, and that i havent really been super inspired to write him. but i love him! literally my car is named after him! i have so many feelings for him and i hope one day i get to play/write him so he can be more fleshed out.
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subbyenbywitch · 1 year
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[movie review] ponyo (2008)
okay wow this was adorable? but also had miracles and disasters of an epic scope? and the characters, omg the characters! sōsuke is so good and full of empathy and lisa is one of the best fictional moms ever and as often happens with miyazaki movies, even the closest thing the movie has to an antagonist is empathized with. this is one of the only ones of these where i had basically 0% of an idea of what i should expect and having now seen it i’m… not really sure what anyone could’ve said to me to give me any kind of idea of what to expect?
honestly i don’t have that much to say about this one? it was adorable but also had plenty of moments of dramatic weight. it’s unique. it’s a lot of fun. it’s not one of my top 5 ghibli movies i don’t think, but it’s of a similar level of quality to those. the world feels so fleshed out and lived in. i really, really liked it, i’m sorry i don’t have more to say about it! a-rank
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gender-isafuck · 3 months
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"i feel very little sympathy for the palestinians simply because i have no way of knowing what is actually happening to them and i honestly dont need to." - yeah imagine if people had this same energy about anti-semitism you freak. idk how you're good basically saying "i don't care about people who aren't me. i have no empathy for these people because it doesn't affect me :0)" sounds about right for you and you cruel, babym*rdering people. may you never find a moment's peace, rest, salvation.
you just love taking my words out of context huh
literally where have i ever said whatever suffering palestinians are going through is good? my worst crime here is wording it badly. i struggle to sympathize not exactly because i dont know what they're actually going through but because sympathy for them has been weaponized against my people to excuse literal attempted genocide and calls for ethnic cleansing in the truest forms of those words
i think any form of war and suffering is horrible and i have no doubt that the idf is causing absolute devastation to the citizens of gaza. i however cannot think of any suggestions to improve their methods MOSTLY BECAUSE I HAVE LITERALLY NO WAY OF KNOWING WHAT THEY ARE
yalls sources are all on par with al jazeera in terms of reliability (or just are al jazeera) and anything the idf says is sanitized.
whatever the answer is i dont have it. my sympathy for gazans or lack thereof has exactly 0 bearing on the world. you can push your evangelical christian level expectations of moral purity on someone who cares
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aircommndr · 1 year
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Mun Vs. Muse
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Similarities: dont hate me
Pride. Im sorry I am a prideful mofo and I have to keep in check otherwise i get myself into some pretty wack scenarios
Humor. I am creative with my witty comebacks which got me in a LOT of trouble growing up. I will let you know if i dont like you and ill be very vocal about it. were also both very sassy lol
we love ourselves some revenge if we deem it needed <3 def a fighter more than "lover". We also both have been involved in activism for a number of problems in our societies.
That "wont give up / wont give in" attitude. Im stuck currently at a job i absolutely HATE just because i wanna prove to my bosses that i AM capable and that I CAN do what any other manager can. I had 0 training for my position and the cards were stacked against me but guess whos still in their role a year later? This fool. I really do need to step down tho like plz i need a break LOL
On a similar note, admitting when I failed. Me and starscream are the WORST at that. We just. cant do it. nor can we admit when we're sinking / need help
Little shit syndrome. Im sorry but I can be an ass LOL. I have a very poor filter (which,, is partly due to my autism and poor skills at recognizing how to communicate with people) but i enjoy messing with people (playfully! unless i actually hate u but ye)
Similar vocal range! more so for g1 but certain other continuities. my voice is very neutral sounding, and im a bit scratchy/nasally! I also have a lot of vocal stims that are loud and noisy and often include screaming!
Delusions of Grandeur. Me and star both suffer from that and feel that there MUST be something important about us but also feel like we are inadequate. Kinda paradoxically
Me and Starscream both have Autism! As well as Psychosis! I struggle with hallucinations (both visual abd audible)
We are both prone to self sabotaging, as well as other poor coping skills we share
We both struggle with abandonment issues, and our major way of dealing with it is to cut ties / not make ties in the first place for fear of being hurt
Abuse survivors,, similar traumas
kinda off topic but i LOVE planes. Ive been flying on planes by myself since I was literally 4 years old ,, so planes are a comfort
we both struggle to accept help, affection, or kind words / praise without feeling like its a trap or something, and we just arent used to it. Touch is vvv iffy with us
....we got some similar kinks whoops
Differences:
I hate to disappoint all of you but I do not, in fact, turn into a jet (big sad)
Height difference. Hes a big ass bot, im barely 5'1
I am also not a robot (again sorry)
Not a war vet LMAO
im an asshole but not exactly on the same level as this fool
while i struggle with empathy sometimes due to mental disorders/trauma, i have way more than he tends to lol
Tagged by: snagged from @trustme-imamedic
Tagging: @warriorsparked , @13urningstars , @rifleseye , @virtute-praeditum , @dontpetmeibite , @dynamoprotocol anyone else who wants to!
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aftonfamilyvalues · 4 months
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My roommate was super passive aggressive to me in a way that really just sent me and I think she overheard me venting about her in the phone saying she was a malicious bitch (also not feminist opps.)
I feel bad about it but then at the same time Omg I spent a month feeling in crisis that I was going to be homeless. She agreed to give me more time, said she would write up a new lease for me.
(I asked for more time and she agreed basically, and took a little over a month to send a new one to me. But via email. She gave me the silent treatment the whole time. I asked for more time because I mean I don’t earn very much and I got injuried during my 6 month lease. I wanted to ask for 6 more months but I had a feeling she would say no so I asked for 3. She’s been mean to me since I moved in. Suggested I should be further asking in life, at one point she gave me a dirty look and repeated back to me “how was work?” As if I asked an invasive question, I was just trying to be friendly and make conversation. And I’m fed up and tired so I stopped initiating with her. Because when I did initiate she was rude and I haven’t done anything to warrant that kind of disrespect. I’m clean and stay in my room and lay my bills on time. If k ran behind I’d communicate. I was good about communicating and I’m just burned out. I’m sure she thinks I’m matching her energy but I’d prefer if she spoke to me respectfully. She has no empathy.)
Anyway, didn’t speak to me, had a guest stay for fixed days without telling me and over a month had gone by and she hadn’t written up a new lease. I was in distress that I might be homeless and scared that she was future faking me. And thinking she moved in a whole new roommate without saying anything. I was panicking.
It affect me and at one point I had a crisis and couldn’t come in to work. My supervisor got mad. I called a hotline and broke down about how I was anxious I was going to get fired, and said prior to that I was afraid I was going to be homeless, because “my roommate is a malicious bitch.”
I really am not a malicious person , that’s why I can’t fathom it. Like she has been cruel, and a part of me feels guilty but maybe more as a fawn response. If she heard me she was eavesdropping. But I’m not malicious I’m anxious and burned out. In my distress I engaged in impulsive behaviors. I’m someone who is in desperate need of therapy, like dbt and EMDR cause I do have CPTSD. I can’t regulate my distress well at all. Oppressive situations turn me into an addict too. I seek to numb myself when I’m scared of being homeless. I binge drank and spent way too much on weed when I should’ve been saving, because I couldn’t have saved in one month and she hadn’t said a word to me which made me panic.& I also have PMDD and honestly the level of distress it put me in, and her fucking lack of empathy (I broke my toe while on the lease, my bike was stolen, I had to correct a mistake with social security. It’s my first job and I’m going back to school and struggling . I have 0 family support. She knows this. ) so yea, I called her malicious because honestly the distress of being homeless does affect me as a worker. I work in child care and gosh I get fatigue when I’m dealing with my roommate and trying to hold space for other people’s emotions. I barely was sleeping and having bad panic attacks…
I think she heard me.
Am I in the wrong? Her assuming I’m being passive aggressive and accusing me of that via text because I forgot to close a door and talking a week to tell me and shit like that just has me burned out. My previous roommate snooped in my room and read my things.
I should’ve left out the bitch part , but when she talks in the phone, she’s so loud and not private it almost feels like she wants me to hear. I normally use a white noise machine in the hopes that she won’t… I didn’t this time… and ok no sleep and not fully aware of myself and kind of loud. And I didn’t want her to hear that.
can i be honest and say im really not the best person to answer these sorts of things? like i would love to be able to give good advice and help but im so far disconnected from situations like this and mental health crises that i really dont know what to say. perhaps someone who understands a little better can help and advise.
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