#my current work environment is so toxic I'm so excited to get out of there

[hellenhighwater]

I had a look through your posts but I couldn't find anything... I was just wondering if you could share some advice on training cats, particularly in the realm of "not eating plants" and "not scratching things that aren't theirs" ? I'm getting a kitten next week and, while excited, I am also nervous as I've had some pretty destructive cats in the past...

Thank you in advance!

I can really only speak to what worked for me. I'm sure there will be more updates when the Interlopers come home--they currently are still at the shelter for a liiiiitle more observation.

When I brought Mal and Vice home, I babyproofed my bedroom. Nothing they could break, nothing they could damage--no surfaces they weren't allowed on, nothing they could hurt by clawing. And for the first few weeks, that is the ONLY room they were in. I don't know if stockholm syndrome is an option for cats, but they both have it now; we bonded. As they got settled and we built trust, I started bringing them out into other areas of the house, always under observation. When I (or a housemate) wasn't there to keep an eye on them, they just were put back in safe home base bedroom. The goal is to establish a positive relationship far enough that a no! won't send them hiding from you.

This is Vice in the living room for the first time.

The thing with cats is that they'll break a rule if they think you're not there to enforce it. So you have to be there, always, for long enough that the good behavior becomes a habit before they're left on their own. So as they moved into other areas of the house, the no! was always enforced when they started to do a naughty, and they learned to not even try because they'd get caught immediately. Eventually they had more and more run of the house, and were finally just left on their own. This means consistency and patience from you, and from everyone in your household. And that doesn't stop--you get in the base of this when they first come home, but you have to continue to consistently enforce forever. That's the deal. Their brains are itty bitty and full of mischief, and sometimes they're going to push boundaries because they can.

There's also some steps you should take to just cat-proof in general. Smooth river rocks in the top of any diggable pot; toxic plants relocated or removed, and furniture that might be particularly scratchable protected with throw blankets over the arms...you get the idea. Part of it is training, and part of it is creating an environment where they're not being tempted.

[tleeaves]

Hi! I’m trying to befriend my favourite mutuals so I’m asking a bunch of questions to get to know you all better

What was/is your favourite subject in school? Were/are you good at it?

What country do you live in? What do you like/dislike about it?

Are you currently writing/planning an original story? If so, what is it about?

What genres of media do you usually consume? What books would you recommend to people?

What is your favourite poison?

what is your favourite method of murder (both to read about and what you would actually use)?

What patterns do you usually notice in the people that you hang out with?

Can I message you?

Hi, darling!! Love these questions, thank you so much for sending them through 🥺 Honoured to be considered a favourite mutual.

My favourite subject was absolutely English. It was my top subject when I graduated as well, and I was definitely good at it. I wasn't always though. I actually had trouble reading as a kid. I didn't even really like reading until I got to around 10 years old. And I had a few rough years in high school where no matter how hard I tried in English classes, I could have sworn two teachers in particular were out to give me a hard time for a couple years (to the point where I was nearly averaging on a D in their classes, whereas all other years I was a straight A student in English, including my final years, so the contrast is still weird to look back on, considering nothing substantial actually changed in my learning between those years).

Australia! I like the environment here, generally, not just in terms of vibes from folk but also nature. I do like that where I am in particular they seem to try and incorporate more greenery into built up areas. I dislike our education system deeply and the fact that geographically we're split off from much of the world.

Yes, I am! Both writing and planning (have done so much planning over the years, vaguely, went to write, and realised I needed an outline, and I'm still finishing that up so I can continue the writing part). It's about the sacrifices we make to protect what we care about, essentially. It's also what I would consider high fantasy (though it's technically a blend between high/historical fantasy and low fantasy). Also, horror and romance elements because it's not my work without a bit of horror and some romance at this point (sue me, this stuff goes hand in hand so well sometimes).

Genres of media: dark fantasy (so not outright horror but also too dark to be purely what you might just call fantasy), historical drama, aaand romance (but it's usually mixed in with something else because I struggle to read straight up romance). Books I recommend people are usually tailored to what I know of their interests. Will usually try to squeeze in something by V.E. Schwab though.

Ooh. Good question. Assuming you're talking about actual poison and not just a drink (drink: mocha) it would have to be mistletoe. It's not suuuper effective in small doses, I know, but hear me out: it's a hemiparasitic plant and there's been debates over whether it can be considered a carnivorous plant because of how it feeds off a host plant (tree). I can't remember whether it was argued that it could have been a passive or active trap, though I guess it doesn't really matter, because in the end it's really not carnivorous at all. Still! Toxic to consume. Vomiting and so on. Possible death etc.

Hmm, favourite method. I love poisonings, actually, because they're interesting to orchestrate in stories and can make for dramatic symptom reveals and realisations (and I've written them before too, but reading is just as fun). And, to be honest, I'm pretty shitty at writing other sorts of death scenes BUT oh you know what goes hard?? A good old fashioned stabbing where Character A leans into it and Character B to whisper one last thing -- usually something that holds a lot of weight. THAT is brilliant. I have one of those planned to write. Really excited for it.

People I hang out with are massive nerds. Okay, more seriously... I don't know. I hang out with a variety of people, because I also have a wide array of interests and so I tend to meld into different groups at a time. That's why I say nerds. I like to be around people who care a lot about Very Specific Things. Oh, well, they're also often neurodivergent, so there's that. I find it difficult to get along with people who are so chill about everything and give off the vibe that they have no personality and or passion.

Absolutely you can message me!!

#I can be terrible at answering asks in a timely manner but! #I really do enjoy these <3

[shyspider]

I appreciate it, but I like reading your writing. I just need to work up to read *spicy* chapters. Which, because I haven't read in a while and haven't been 100% myself, I can't currently do, unfortunately 😔

Plus, my memory is shot enough that I am gonna end up rereading both books so I can tell clearly what's going on, lol. I do love authors like you who make the *spice* optional, and I do tend to take that option quite often, but I will readily admit its typically with far more /human/ characters that I do so with. History and all that, lol.

It's just been a really funky time, and a more physically taxing job is making my poor immune system laugh maniacally. With how companies tend to ask that you essentially work yourself to death, I have been making poor decisions. As in, continuing to go in to work, despite the fact that I am immediately going to bed sick every time I get home. I got sent home today because being too dizzy to stand properly still, whilst simultaneously having absolutely zero thermoregulation, is not good when working in a warehouse. Sorry for dumping in your inbox, same as when I am too excited, I am currently lacking social awareness of if this is appropriate or not.

Having said that, sorry again for just dumping all this on you, I am so far out kf it that I really don't even know if I am properly awake or not.

~Smooch

Social awareness be damned. I may overstep here, but I'll regret it more if I don't share with you something personal about me. What you said is a little triggering, because I nearly worked myself to death for a company that didn't care about my health. It sounds like you're burning out, if not already burnt out. Not trying to diagnose anything, but what you're saying sounds very familiar.

I'm going to ramble under the cut. Let's dump on each other, together.

It sounds crazy, but most of what you've said sounds like what I went through with my last job. It burned me out to where I was a completely different person. I lost interest in the things that made me happy and I stopped caring about my health. I had chronic ocular migraines, constant stomach pains, and I hated myself. I was not in a good mental space. I was burnt out.

No one gave me the help I needed or told me what to look for, or what was available to me. No one told me about FMLA, or medical leave, or mental health leave. No one told me about health programs to help my autoimmune disorder, or what a toxic work environment was. I didn't know buzzwords like 'harassment' and a 'hostile workplace'. I'd call off, but no one would cover my work, give me shit for being sick all the time, and I never wanted to kick up a fuss because I didn't think I could. I'd sob in my car, both heading to work and leaving. There were so many things I should've done. I had to quit, because it was either my life or my job. I was lucky I had some people to financially help me in between.

This may not be the same for you, but what does sound similar is that you're not thinking of yourself, first. I've made poor decisions and all those choices led up to letting myself get bad. It took 4 years to undo all that. I can go months without a migraine, now. I'm finally in remission. I see a therapist. I actually love myself and feel better and doing the things that interest me. (There are always problems here and there, but nothing like before)

Try your best to make the changes to protect future you. I don't know what kind of company you work for, but learn your options. Protect yourself. If you're able to see a doctor for a chronic condition, get FMLA to protect yourself and your paycheck. See if you are able to take a mental health leave, if you need it. See what EPA programs are available to you. Human Resources (which most companies have) is required to give you this information, but you have to request it. You said you work in a warehouse? Know your rights. My bet, OSHA will have your back.

Take care of yourself now so you don't have to spend years putting yourself back together, later. There is literally only one of you in this world, and you are precious and unique and loved. You don't need to respond. Get some rest. Listen to some music. Think about things.

#Smooch anon #Sorry this got long and personal #I probably sound like an old cursed witch “don't follow the dark path I once walked or you'll end up like meeee” #mental health has become very important to me over the years #and my old job was responsible for a lot of when I went through #Work mentality can be a dangerous thing and its easy to put your job before your needs #This goes to everyone: It is not selfish to take care of yourself

[jami-c]

hey guys my friend Miranda needs help. she has always been there for me and I wanna be there for her.

any donation $5 and up I'll draw something for you.

Hi!

My name is Miranda. I'm a professional server of over ten years facing severe economic distress and houselessness due to suffering abuse at my previous workplace and the continuing effects of the COVID-19 pandemic. I'm asking for my community's assistance in recuperating funds that I lost in anticipation of a new job. After being abused and overworked, I could no longer tolerate the toxic environment and resigned from my position along with several other coworkers (who had similar grievances).

I am asking for the support of $50,000 to avoid massive devastation in my life, as I am currently facing houselessness due to this event. Coincidentally, I was excited to start this job so I could leave a deeply uncomfortable home environment. This turn of events has been deeply traumatizing in many ways. I'm starting this GoFundMe as an emergency to keep myself and my cat immediately housed.

This money will help me get back on my feet after repeated losses since the start of the pandemic. Since June, I have lost about $6000+ in wages over the last two months for the sake of this new job, and I had a lot of hope riding on my position. From June 13-26, I worked ten hour days with one day off, and now I can't afford to eat.

I also will redistribute most of these funds to the other women who walked away from the job with me. The economic impacts on their lives have been just as extreme. None of us deserved such poor treatment or to be stuck in a position that compromised our health, morals, and sense of self-value.

As far as the rest of the funds go, they will be used to cover GoFundMe's transaction fees, find a new apartment and job, and take a short break to recover from this experience. Coming so close to houselessness has been painful, traumatic, and invisibilizing and I hope to explore new avenues of employment and make my way out of restaurants to (possibly, hopefully!) begin work in organizing and advocacy.

Thank you so much for reading and for your care, support, and love. I am endlessly grateful.

#miranda #gofund me

[galacticarcade]

So little life update I guess.

this got kinda long so under a cut it will go.

After fully coming to terms with the fact that my roommate, whom I have many an issue with (up to and including the fact that he's my Ex's brother), has only been my roommate because I've been letting him take advantage of me, I am currently kicking him and his girlfriend out and am once again going to have my place to myself.

Honestly I'm suuuper relived to be ridding myself of him and his girlfriend. They have both been like a background stresser on me for months now. It will be nice to actually feel like I really live in my own god damn apartment.

Once they are out my parents are going to come help me get the place cleaned up and also they are going to get me set up to help make shirts for my dad. And since I will have all the things to make shirts for him I will also be able to make my own shirts and things as well >:3c I am very excited.

But yeah things are honestly going pretty great for me and that is just something I am really excited about. I was in a really dark place this time last year, and I was dealing with a really toxic and harmful environment. I got out of that because the people who where causing it abandoned me, and then I ended up in another shitty situation I thought was going to be good, but that's just because it wasn't as shitty as the previous one. And now I'm putting my foot down, standing up for myself, and pulling myself out of the shitty situation I've been stuck in. This is honestly a really big step for me as I am usually to scared to stand up for myself. I'm a people pleaser to a fault, but I am working on changing that. I'm becoming a better and stronger person. this ended up kinda ramblely at the end... thanks for reading if you made it this far. hope you have a good day. I know I will. :3c

#tia talks #gotta make good use of my amu icons #but basically i'm kicking out my roommate and I'm so fucking excited for him to leave #i am feeling peek mental health rn

[kythewriter]

OMNISCIENT:

JUNE 14th 2023

2:45pm

"Terminal A : Flight Boarding To Dubai vegans Now Please Have Your Boarding Pass Ready"

Everyone Going To Dubai Began Gathering their Things Getting In The Correct Line In Order Of Their Passes , Salem Boards First Being A -5 She smiles and thanks the attendant going to her preferred window seat , she enjoyed watching the clouds it brings her a sense of calmness , She made sure her Laptop was on Airplane mode before the flight even began. She sent a short text to her mother telling her she loved her and would see her after her mini vacation. She was finally happy to get away from the toxic environment she was in .

Boarding Next Was Jelani Being In The Row Next to Her but 6 Seats Down He Made sure he had everything before getting comfortable he was planning to meet his homeboys down in Dubai for his Bestfriend  Wedding , he was excited for the new experience and happy for his friend. He shot his bestfriend a text letting him know he was currently on the plane and was waiting for Take Off He'd Make it for the Wedding that is supposed to happen in Two Days .

Anais Boarded the Plane With His Girlfriend Excited for their One Year Anniversary they was going to Celebrate In Dubai He was Madly In Love with her , he Was Seated In The Third Row Over In the Middle Cuddled up next to his girlfriend " Jesus Anais , Give me a little space it's already so small on here I need to breathe you know ion like planes ."

"Sorry , you suggested Dubai mamas I was okay with driving to anywhere you wanted as long as you didn't fly" she sighed irritated with him " okay just let me rest okay ? I'm really sleepy I was up all night" he frowned " I thought you slept all night and that's why we couldn't fall asleep on the phone like we usually do" she sighed " I was sleep but I was anxious and was in and out of my sleep baby" he nodded giving her some space knowing how it could be to ride a plane for the first time .

Tremani Bobbed His Head to The Music He was Listening to as he found a seat Next to Jelani Getting Comfortable " Hey" he gave him a head nod " wassup ? This cool if I sit here ?" Jelani Nodded giving him the Okay . Tremani Was Going to Dubai to Spread His Grandma Ashes In the Ocean as her last dying wish , it was the least he could do for his favorite lady . He was hyped to be finally going somewhere instead of being home 24/7 when he wasn't working .

Baylene boarded the plane lastly sitting directly in the back closest to the bathroom , she knew she'd eventually get air sick so she was glad to have the seat in the back she wanted to get to Dubai for her Cousin wedding in two days that she promised she'd go to especially since her girlfriend was the maid of honor .

As everyone got seated and situated the Flight Attendant began to speak "On behalf of Emirates Airline, it is my pleasure to welcome you aboard flight 26874 with service to Miami ,Fl and continuing service to dubai. We ask that you please fasten your seatbelts at this time and secure all baggage underneath your seat or in the overhead compartments. We also ask that your seats and table trays are in the upright position for take-off."

As the flight attendant went off demonstrating safety protocols everyone made sure they were strapped in and safe for their flight , some people were anxious and some were excited for their new trip .

Once the plane began take off and was fully in the air , People began to unfasten their seatbelts getting comfortable watching whatever was on the tv and began getting small snacks from the flight attendants.

As time went on everything was going smoothly it wasn't until they were half way across the ocean when things went down south , " everyone fasten your seat belts please" everyone began to worry as the plan began to shake more and more .

Out of instinct Jelani grabbed Tremanis hand to keep himself sane , Salem began to pray , Baylene held tight to her seat as her nerves got the best of her , Anais strapped his sleeping girlfriend up and himself holding her hand tightly . No one knew what the outcome would be .

"EVERYONE BRACE FOR IMPACT" everyone began panicking throwing their oxygen mask on bracing for the oncoming impact .

Things happen so fast all you can hear are screams from different passages as the plane went down piece by piece of the plane broke off mid air crashing into a body of water right before the actual land of an unknown island, a lot of people died on impact from the blunt force trauma and the panic they went through .

Some Unknown time later 5 Passengers made it safely on Land swimming with what they could with a bunch of bumps and bruises panicking and afraid of the unknown.

#authors #urban fantasy #stranded #amateur writer #prologue #wattpad #neobook #urbanromance #allrightsreserved

[mangodestroyer]

I think I've come to realize that I'm the kind of person who feels fulfilled when I'm working towards something.

Like, I do care about the destination, but I care about the journey so much more! With my current standard of living, it might be possible for me to just fuck around only working part time. Sure. Whatever. I did that for a year when I took a break from school. And it SUCKED. I was so miserable. I was also processing something that WAS very miserable, and witnessing many more miserable things, but it's gotten so much easier to cope with now that I'm back in school.

It was like this in hs too. I had a goal. And that was taking on the advanced classes and graduating with honors. Not even much thought as to what I'd do after or anything. I just wanted to do it. And I did genuinely enjoy it, for the most part (although part of why I was doing it at the time was for the wrong reasons, so that led to its own existential crisis).

Idk, it just gives me a sense of purpose, ig. It makes life feel structured and predictable. And again, I can't just not do something. I just want to go through college and enjoy the experiences it may bring. And have the satisfaction of knowing I could do it. I've seriously been thinking about grad school and living on campus, and I'm absolutely excited to go through with it! I feel so much more ready for it too, than I did when I first started out and couldn't figure out what I wanted to do in college.

And tbh, I'm torn between whether this is healthy, or some kind of trauma thing (seeking out predictability and structure). It does sound healthy and constructive in some ways. Seriously, I'm not hurting myself doing this. I'm not getting into six figure debt atm (and there are some options for me when it comes to funding, so long as I attend a school in my state).

At the same time, it would seem that I am stuck like this. With the whole structure seeking. I've done work getting myself to stop trying to seek that out so much in other individuals because it was leading to me being too desperate and vulnerable and letting in toxic relationships. Yeah, that shit had to stop real fast. I think I'm starting to get that this isn't a normal way to bond with others and that things need to happen much more subtly/organically. Not just go with the first person who claims they respect/love me (but obviously doesn't mean it).

At the same time, idk if you can completely fix trauma. Or the side effects it has. I think in some ways, it will always be there. Just managed better than it was four years ago. But like I said, I'm not exactly miserable taking classes and all. I have always liked learning. And I find the college environment to be far less oppressive than grade school and other aspects of my life.

[uhmusingmon]

shedding the old

Healing is a fun journey. You start making some progress, you've got a plan and begin to take action then BOOM. Something else is thrown into the mix. It shakes you from your initial focus as it invites you to adjust.

The past three years have been a major transformational period of my life. When I think the transformation season is coming to an end, I am surprised with more twists and turns.

I was building a routine to work for me, lining up projects with newfound inspiration and energy, and before I could take a big step, I was faced with a curveball regarding my living situation. Although it has been pretty inconvenient and introduced unpleasant stress and pressure on top of what already existed that I was working to manage, I accept it as a blessing.

I don't know if I work better under pressure, or if I simply just accomplish more. My ass needs a fire lit beneath to get me going, it seems. When I succumb to the pressure, I might freeze from overwhelm and engage in my patterns of escape which brings on guilt for avoiding what I ought to face. I was caught in this for a brief moment, until a specific deadline was given. That was when I decided to roll my sleeves up and face the challenge head on.

My home for five years served me for what I needed. In the past 2-3 years, though, I have increasingly grown unhappy with the living space and property management. I felt trapped because how can I move if I don't meet income requirements for a better space? I have so badly wished to launch myself into a new life, but felt constricted by my environment. Anyone who's visited me has experienced a new layout anytime they come over because I frequently rearranged furniture, trying to restructure the home. It only ever worked temporarily. It was not long before I found myself stagnant and needing to switch it up again.

In two weeks I get to say goodbye to this home. I realized I wasn't ever trapped here. I just needed to get a little creative in order to be approved in a new place. Sometimes it takes a push to think outside the box and discover alternative resources and support that have always existed.

Now that I'm moving on, I am very excited. I have craved a fresh start for years. But in my mind, that meant selling and leaving everything and everyone behind, and taking off to a new location where no one knows me. I fantasized starting completely fresh. Maybe that fantasy isn't so out of reach, but maybe it doesn't have to be quite so dramatic. Even 15 minutes away from my current location can do me some good and drastically change my everyday routine (or patterns and habits, because I wouldn't call this a routine lol). For one thing, I won't have my comfort bar two blocks down the road from me. My friends won't be in my 3 mile radius. The ease of escaping through people will be a little less.

More of the less I look forward to having is less distraction, less noise, less clutter. In the next two weeks, I am aiming to downsize, declutter, and rid as much as I possibly can. The new place is a smaller space, so physically the room is not there. The room I do have is to be calm, safe, and invite me to create. I have shed several layers of conditioning, unhelpful beliefs and thoughts, and toxic patterns. Now it's time to shed the physical shit that just gets in the way or serves as reminders of unfinished business. It's like ghosts of the old me are latched on to some of these things and it's time for them to move on so I can move on.

I do recognize, however, that the problems that exist in my current place can easily follow me, because real change isn't about the environment or surroundings, but what is going on within me. So over these next two weeks, I am preparing myself for a successful transition and continued growth. I am pinpointing my needs and inviting my Soul to guide me. I take comfort in surrender, trusting that all my needs will be met and all resources will be provided. All that is required of me is choosing the life I intend to bring and cultivate in my new space. Everything else will fall into place.

#reflection #life transitions

[deathandmushrooms]

It's been raining for forever and will rain for the foreseeable future. Great for future-mushroomer me, but it's driving present-me batty. So, here's...

Some non-exhaustive-but-potentially-exhausting maybe-helpful mushroom-foraging guidelines for the curious-but-anxious beginner...

We can assure our readers, whom we wish to preserve, that there are only two facts to bear in mind when selecting fungi:

ALL FUNGI ARE EDIBLE.

SOME FUNGI ARE NOT EDIBLE MORE THAN ONCE.

- Discworld Almanak by Terry Pratchett

Below, you'll find:

Finding and Identifying mushrooms

Foraging mushrooms

Eating mushrooms

Finding and Identifying Mushrooms

Don't eat anything unless you're so confident with it you would feed it to you favorite writer currently working on the dramatic final installment of whatever you're most excited about. Ask yourself: would I feed this to renowned author and local Tumblr treasure @neil-gaiman? No? Then spit it out, Jeremy.

Mushrooms aren't scary. The more knowledgeable you become, and the humbler you remain, the more confident you'll be. Find people who know mushrooms, and preferably not just on The Internet. Get a guidebook or 3 (ideally local) and learn relevant terminology and identifying features (e.g. different kinds of pore surface: gills, tubes, etc). Find a lot of mushrooms and take them home to ID.

But before you do, take many pics in situ if you can. Environment and ecology can be key to a positive ID. Harvesting mushrooms you don't plan on eating is a great way to practice learning relevant terminology and building up a sommelier-esque mushroom vocabulary. "Ah yes, this coral fungus smells woody, with hints of moss....and a soupçon of string cheese."

Research, forage, and cook with intention. When hunting for a mushroom, learn all its look-alikes, especially toxic ones. Don't just note what the mushroom looks like, but where it's growing, how it's growing, amongst whom it's growing, whom it has beef with. Is it growing saprotrophically off a dead log (I.e. Breaking down dead material)? That's probably not a chanterelle, but it might be a jack-o-lantern and supposedly they're slightly bioluminescent so you should probably take it home, bring it to some dark corner, see if the gills really glow and then not eat it regardless.

Mushroom identifying apps are a good way to get some ID possibilities to research more thoroughly, but do not rely on them alone.

Set yourself up for success by starting off with mushrooms with no toxic look-alikes, or those with a few key features that clearly distinguish them from their toxic look-alike (morels, chicken or the woods, lion's mane, etc). Research mushrooms in your area, pick a few (seasonally appropriate) varieties to keep an eye out for. The fewer varieties you focus on, the less likely you are to get your wires crossed. And...

... learn their ecology and save yourself a lot of heartache looking for mushrooms in places they could never grow. Do they grow mycorrhizally with a certain type of tree? That is, do they form a symbiotic relationship with certain trees? Or do they grow saprotrophically, breaking down dead wood. Do they prefer certain environments? For example, I started off with black trumpets. They have no toxic look-alikes, and they are usually growing mycorrhizally with oak in mossy areas. I look at my feet for moss and acorns and then I know my chances are fair, weather permitting.

Foraging mushrooms

Get a knife, maybe a brush, and a breathable container (e.g. Basket, canvas tote) where your mushrooms won't get crushed. It's amazing how fast a plastic bag can speed up rotting. Also...maybe look up local knife laws.

Clean as much as you can in the field. Trim off the dirtiest part of the stem, check for debris.

Before you're confident with field identification, store different species and mushrooms from different patches in different containers. I take a canvas backpack with me with paper lunchbags that I label with a number. When I take pictures of the mushroom and it's environment, I also take a picture of the bag I'm putting them in. Because I am anal.

Just because a mushroom is a member of an edible species, doesn't mean that particular mushroom is good for eating. Mushrooms can get infested with bugs, or mold, or succumb to the ravages of time that come for us all. Give it a sniff, and if it smells off, it is. Check for bugs; especially with boletes. Scrape away the tubes to check (but only after you've gotten a confident ID; after you do this you can't take a spore print). For example, here are some pictures of some black trumpets which are choice edibles.

The ones on the left are good, but the ones on the right are no good. With black trumpets, I'll smell a bad one before I even see it. It's important to learn how a mushroom's appearance changes over its life cycle, or how weather conditions might change the appearance.

The "real" organism, so to speak, is the mycelium. The mushrooms are the fruiting bodies. So, make note of nice patches of your favorites. Depending on the type of mushrooms, it might fruit several times over a season. I take a screen cap of where I am on Google maps and save it alongside pictures of the mushrooms and selfies of me doing my excited mushroom face. Some mushrooms, like chanterelles, are slow growers. But others might only need a few days after a good rain to pop up.

Eating mushrooms

Don't eat multiple foraged mushrooms in one meal. Wait 1-2 days between varieties. Poison Control has a hard enough job as it is without you complicating things unnecessarily.

Thoroughly cook all mushrooms. Safety aside, that's just good culinary sense. Gotta caramelize those natural sugars, dontcha know. Maillard reaction and all that.

Even if a mushroom isn't "toxic," you might learn something new and upsetting about yourself when you eat it, like an obscure food sensitivity you inherited from that ancestor you never knew you had but now get to secretly resent. So, when eating a new mushroom COOK AND EAT A SMALL PIECE AND WAIT 24 HOURS. Wait for what? Hopefully nothing. But if you start getting stomach cramps, itching in weird places, or visual hallucinations, you may want to toss those mushrooms back into the wild. TBF to mushrooms, this is true of all food. I've yet to experience this with mushrooms, but I have had this experience with fruit! Did that stop me from eating fruit? No: my survival instincts aren't great. My ancestors were very lucky.

Different mushrooms can be stored different ways for the long term: drying, freezing, etc. But in the short term, a paper bag in the fridge is ideal.

When in doubt, butter or olive oil and a little sea salt. Also, cream and thyme are lovely with most mushrooms. Very thin mushrooms (e.g. Craterellus) barely need any time on the heat at all before they're done or past done, i.e. shrivelled up into a small non descript mass in the pan with all the texture of sad dirt jam.

Or just fry them in pancetta. You do you.

Most importantly: do your own research and a lot of it.

Foraging for mushrooms is hugely rewarding, and learning is a process: in this case, a very enjoyable one.

I mean... unless you poison yourself.

But still,

#mushrooms #mycology #foraging #terry pratchett #mushroom hunting #neil Gaiman #mushrooming #cooking the forest floor #eating the forest floor #mycophile #original photography

[that-cheer-up-anon]

On Sunday one of my big bros bought me a second hand bike w a rear rack and front basket, which is great for shopping and school and transportation in general.

I've named her Minnie bc of her mint green colour (and bc I've already used the name Bichael for my friend's bike). I used bicarb soda and white vinegar to get rid of as much rust as I could. I also used a multi purpose spray that should lubricate and prevent rust. It's my first time really taking care of a bike which is kind of exciting.

It's been raining for ages, so I haven't been able to take her out for a test ride yet, but once the weather clears up, I hope that she's roadworthy.

It really is hard being slammed w so many insecurities and confronting that my thought processes don't work outside my toxic home environment. Now that I'm in a safer place I actually have to ask about what others think instead of just assuming, bc I'm so used to my assumptions being correct, and actually communicating is terrifying. Also regular and candid verbal and physical affection????

I hate that I still feel and know that I'm not doing enough, even though I'm currently trying my best w my current mental and emotional capability. I hate that I still think and feel the same way in the sense that I feel like I'm doing my best, but knowing that it's not enough. At least I don't have to worry about the appeasing someone so they don't yell at me part so much. This time it's a lot more to do w personal obligation and guilt.

Yesterday I had a Filo friend as my nail client and her mum called. We told her that we had moved out of home and her Filo mum started saying "you are very naughty girls! Bad girls for leaving home! Your poor mum..." As if I needed to put up w guilt tripping from people OUTSIDE my family and my brain. I know that she didn't understand the full context of our situation but man. Doesn't stop it from hurting.

Also my lil sis accidentally told our mum who we're staying w rn, and my dad knows where they live, so I've been very anxious about my mum telling him and him dropping in for a surprise visit.

I'm also very frustrated and angry at realising some of my behaviour isn't normal and that I now have to be aware of possible triggers. Most of the things that get my anxiety going are pretty common normal things which really make me upset, bc how am I supposed to avoid those?

I also have to talk to my mum about school course finance stuff and tbh I don't really want to, but I can't keep using my big bro as a messenger boy between me and my mum. It's immature and forces my big bro into a difficult position that doesn't really involve him. I just don't know if I'm ready to talk to my parents yet or if I ever will be.

I've got so many things in my mind it's so difficult trying to process anything emotionally challenging. It's already been 2 weeks since we left my parent's house and I'm still going through it, no matter how much I want to already be past it all.

#Ella life #Ella thoughts #tw: depressive thoughts #tomorrow is my lil sis's birthday but I defs can't afford to get her anything. i also can't really fo mich rn either #and my friend that I'm living w dad is staying over tomorrow and my first instinct is just #WE GOTTA CLEAN!!! WE CAN'T LET HIM POSSIBLY THINK WE'RE FILTHY IN ANY WAY!!!! #even though my griend said that I'm really no obligated to clran but I legit have no other way to feel and think at the bews of visitors #LET ALONE A PARENT VISITING #but I know it's part of my trauma that's kicking in so I'm going to try to clean but in a healthier way if I can even think of how to do it

[bunnii-recovers]

4/7/22 - a life update of sorts

howdy everyone!! it's been a while since i've been here (i'm more active on my main blog again!) but i do have fun news to share here!

for a while, i have been going through what is essentially hell at my current job. it's been bad enough that i had to start therapy again because i have had multiple breakdowns in the span of 14 months. it's been really bad. my therapist told me that i have a toxic work environment and that truthfully, unless i could get another job, i would have to do my best to not let everything get to me.

well, that brings us to today! or rather, tomorrow, actually.

i'm quitting!! i got an offer from the company that a cousin of mine works with that is far better than where i am now and i said yes to them! tomorrow, i'll be handing in my resignation at my current job (my boss was on vacation this week) and in two weeks, i start my new job!

i haven't been so excited in such a long time about job prospects like this but it's new and freeing. it's very different from what i currently do but still, i'm excited to learn! i also think it's hilarious that my job is literally 3 minutes down the street from my partner's house (i timed it). the only downside really is the drive (i live pretty far away) but i can make that sacrifice, it won't kill me. plus, i already know the area and i know where all the boba tea shops are now since my good friend lives in that area too.

i'm just....... happy again. terrified, absolutely, and i was actually crying about it to my partner the other day because i do get scared of change, especially a change this big. of course, it's not a bad thing but sometimes, you get so used to your established routine that the thought of it being changed in any way is just terrifying. i am very much a creature of habit and routine so anything that disrupts that is almost seen like a threat now. it's like when you get used to being in a toxic relationship, you can't think of a future without everything that comes with that. maybe it's a re-revelation that i've been in a toxic environment again for so long that this feels like both relief and fear for something new. i'm definitely going to cry on my first day haha 😅

but i just wanted to write it out a bit. it's part of the journey in recovering and becoming a happier person. nothing, especially in recovery, is linear but being able to sort it out for myself and understanding that this is an excellent change for me is a good thing. it helps to remind myself that i am a good person deserving of good things.

#journaling #mini entry #life update