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#my cuban boys
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draw... you!
you and your fam need a family picture :3
eeeeh that’s a bigger project for later, but that don’t mean I didn’t draw something!
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here tunny, me, Bold! Mostly wanted to draw my little bro since he’s one of my favorite humans ever
a full family picture however
we’ll get to that soon
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tumble-tv · 2 months
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I always wish I had a quinceañera, but at the same time I know I wouldn't have enjoyed it as much as I should've and I'd feel extremely dysphoric the entire time. Still, I wish I had that connection to ny cuban roots and a day to feel like royalty
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✨SAM'S CHAINS✨
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(Sam's Earrings)
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end0r4 · 1 year
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Happy 80th Birthday Ian Mcshane! 💕
(29/09/1942)
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house-of-slayterr · 11 months
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Guys I’m sobbing, she’s just like me for real 🥺 I’ve always loved her, but I didn’t know she was my ethnicity this whole time! I’m happy stimming so hard it hurts right now. My heart 🫀 she’s so good!
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mibkid · 5 days
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Listen through and through i like vld , Yes i know shocker!(it isn't, though i have only posted ONCE about it on here w art..but anyways)
So if there was anything about voltron it was that the show had some bomb ass edits made and put on youtube.
That fandom thrived on those. i swear.
I also swear there was this whole "everything black" edit that i watched over and over.... i can't find it now BUT THERE WAS and the transitions were good too.
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fogwitchoftheevermore · 2 months
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still so off putting to me that hermes is cannonically blond. look at his parents that boy is NOT blond cmon.
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segisuo · 9 months
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wait wait wait
hold on
hold the fuck on
lance is cuban and as much as i like to think he has inpecable spanish for too many reasons for me to write at this second
DRUNK OR SOMETHING LANCE LETTING LOOSE AND JUST STRAIGHT UP NOT PRONOUNCING ANY "S"
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fizzytoo · 1 year
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it’s crazy to me adrien got his momma’s face and nothing else
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estesmonrad · 2 years
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How Of Looking After For Your Custom Jewelry
Jewelry. Yes, you are reading it right. Jewelry can also be a perfect holiday gift for sexually active men. Jewelry can, after all, have practical uses, but their friends not necessarily be aspects that end by way of a man's regular shopping list.
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Men's Looks after are always a popular choice because they're both practical and smart-looking. The basic choice to be made is whether you should you prefer a digital or analog style. There is a watch for every personality and lifestyle. No matter whether a tougher sports type watch for the outdoors regarding guy, also known as dress look forward to the businessman in your life, customers with rock-bottom prices a watch which is merely perfect as the https://jewelryshineson.com ">Beauty necklace gift for your guy. 5 Hold you're for guys to hide 'kind' of knickknack she'll damage. Decide if you can purchase a necklace, earrings, bracelet, broach, ring or anklet. This exactly where you should draw on what she normally wears. Unique that never puts earrings on isn't going to randomly starting point. You do have to visit with the flow of her grooming habits the following. Some women always obtain an accessory piece, even unpredicted expenses tiny stud earrings to wear camping! Costume jewelry is also called as fashion jewelry. Undoubtedly the best things concerning jewelry is this it can be had Jewelry For Men in a wide number of styles, shapes and color palette. It can be associated with plastic, glass, leather, wood, fake fur and many other materials. 4 Perform with a color from your list together with a word on the list and also the word necklace. You'll start to get some ideas of what's out there that often leads you for the perfect present idea. Necklaces could be accessory which causes all productive for your outfit. Is certainly easier to be wrong with gold than by using silver, despite the fact that gold Jewelry For Woman is more epensive. The length if the necklace also reflects your look. A long one can turn you into look very casual. Shorter necklaces that do not effectively go through your chest are great. If you want to be classy and appear clean cut, wear shorter necklaces aren't shinny. Many women will spend considerable funds on jewelry once they believe rrt is going to show just how wealthy very good. However it is not always simple define in the event the person's jewelry is really that highly-priced. Over the past years more in addition to 'imitation' jewelry pieces have flooded the market.
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bidoofenergy · 2 years
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watched the latest coleydoesthings video about dirty laundry and was suddenly forced to remember a whole bunch of stuff about the early days of the vld fandom yikes but does anyone remember Desi!Lance? i vividly remember that  when latinx!Lance was accepted fanon there was a lot of bullshit being thrown to people who headcanoned him as literally anything else does anyone else remember this
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chrollohearttags · 9 months
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what abt plug!sukuna?
first time he met you, he thought it was some kinda joke. i mean, pink nails, shortest skirt problem known to man and the tightest shirt with ‘stunna girl’ printed on the front.
now sukuna ain’t one to really hold down any girls but the way you was talking and moving ?? ma boy was down baddd. spent nights at home, fisting his dick to some pic he found on your insta page.
swore that he would kill anyone who you try to buy from other than him. he doesn’t want you to get hooked on anything that’s laced. other than his dick
you can continue 🫣, if you want
oh my goshhhh! 😫😫 fren you stay eating these up. I love this real bad!
you were the last person that Sukuna expected to see running in his face. There was just no way this cute ass girl even ran in the same circles that he did. But here you were..rubbing up on his chest and running game on him in the kitchen of the hang out spot for him and his boys. “Now tell me why I ain’t never seen you around here before..” “I be out the way..” Some of the city’s most notorious drug dealers and shooters and here you were in the midst of the party; a red cup in hand filled with Casamigos, stained with your lip gloss after each sip. Long Hello Kitty decorated acrylics wrapped around the plastic and and he could only imagine what they’d look like cupping his cock instead..he figured that you were the girl of one of his opps, looking to make him jealous or just some rich girl hanging out on the wrong side of town to be rebellious but it was nothing of the sort. You were just bad as hell..and before he knew it, he had folded!
three hours later and he had you in the front seat of his Trackhawk, hotboxing and facing a blunt. His tattooed hands resting on your calves..rubbing gently as he watched you place it between those plump lips. “That shit good, baby?” “Very..” this isn’t something that he’d normally do. Having some random girl in his car, laid up like this but he couldn’t help himself. Not when you were sitting so pretty in his lap as you rolled his weed and licked the blunt afterwards. Out of respect, he didn’t take it any further than night..nothing more than a few subtle brushes up your thigh and a kiss to the cheek. He wasn’t the type to rush things. But later than night, even after you two had long parted ways, the baddie with the butterfly tattoo, dressed like a Bratz doll was fresh on his mental. So much so, he found himself searching you up on social media and it was more than enough to keep his wheels turning. Before he knew it; sitting up in bed with a sheet tossed lightly across his lower half, Ryo found himself jacking off to your pictures. Foaming at the mouth and moaning your name at the sight of you twerking in a bikini and Moon Boots. Needless to say, he was hooked. So the next time you two linked for your next fix, there was no holding back for either of you. “I couldn’t wait to see you again. You been on my mind, baby..” “You been on my mine too, Ryo..shit!” Confessing as he held you midair, bouncing you up and down on his dick. Holding you as if you were practically weightless in his arms. A Cuban link swinging against his chest with each stroke. That night was the best you’d ever experienced! Getting high on both his sex and his weed. Placed into a mating press with his fingers in your mouth, slow thrusts from missionary with your toes in his and the backshots had you tapping out. Even so, you were hooked!..addicted and there wasn’t a chance that he’d ever let you get it from anyone else. Not if he had anything to do with it. Now every time you needed to reach ecstasy, whether through the drug or fucking, Ryo was the one you’d call. Not only that, he’d spoil you with gifts, take you out to eat and although things weren’t set in stone, when everyone saw you, they knew:
that’s Sukuna’s girl.
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cottonconnielvr · 9 months
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Miguel Ohara who has a City girl girlfriend! who LOVES going out with her bestfriends but she be testing him with the outfits she be wearing I’m talkin bout titties popping, ass out, outfits and like one night she goes too far, and like he fucks her..
Yeah. 🤷🏾‍♀️
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PAIRINGS ✩ — miguel o’hara x black!hyperfem!reader
WARNINGS ✩ — drunk!reader, tummy bulge,edging, smut stuffff, didn’t proofread so excuse mistakes xx
THE sound of the City Girls blared from Miguel’s phone. His thumb pressed down on the phone, pausing your story. Your 24 inch black straight hair laid down your back. Your boobs were on the verge of falling out of your dress, your cuban link chain glistened under the light of the flash. He lifted his thumb up, allowing the video to continue playing. He watched as your friends shows your body all off to the camera, your ass cheeks hanging out and all. He can see the tattoo of his last name on the underside of your ass cheek, followed by the scar of where he first ever bit you.
He asked for you to not go out tonight, not in the mood to be defending the city at night and worried about his girlfriend who couldn’t stay away from a good time.
He clicked and clicked through videos, you chugging a drink down with your bestfriend, some random guy doing the worm to Poundtown, tons of angles of you singing R&B songs.
The next video was what set him off – you needed to come home now. You were drunk and giggling, bent over a stool as your best-friend took a jell-o shot off of your ass. A few college boys were recording as well, horny as hell.
Miguel was already fed up with you, your outfit being way too revealing.
You could wear whatever you wanted of course but, showing others what’s his..? Nah. Not gonna slide. He finds it amusing, he’s paralyzed you so many times with his dick, you’d think you’d be able to respect his wishes. But you just had to disobey him.
He spammed your phone with multiple calls that went to voicemail, many replies to your story, and many imessages.
Meanwhile, you just pulled up to another club with a bigger group than you arrived with. At this point you were fucked up, shaking your ass anytime you bent over. You were feeling a bit horny tho, missing your strong man so much.
“Ughhhh I miss my mannn” You dramatically throw your head back.
“Um speaking of your man he’s been blowing your phone up for like 30 mins” You best friend laughs as she nodded her head to the muffled music playing from outside the club.
“Oh oh oh! Where is my phone” You frantically looked around you, turning the flash on your phone to see the dark…. wait the flash on your phone?You looked up at your right hand, giggling at the coincidence. You were holding your phone the hold entire time.
“Man am I wasted!?” You asked out loud, walking into the club cheering with a random burst of energy. You immediately walked to the bar, Latch by Disclosure playing loudly. Your phone vibrated once again as you sat at the bar.
BIG DICK🧛🏽
11:35 PM
Bring your ass home.
Right now Y/N i’m not playing.
11:43 PM
Answer your phone.
I told you not to go out.
Answer.
12:31 PM
Okay Y/N.
Omw.
READ 12:56 AM
Oh fuck.
He was on his way like right now. You scrambled to check his location, it took a couple seconds to reload. Just then it refreshed, his contact picture right on top of your best-friends location.
“Let’s go” A deep voice rumbled into your ear.
“Mig-” Your whines were cut off when your arm was snatched up by Miguel. “Wait” You followed behind as he dragged you out of the club.
“Ba-by wait..” You tried to come up with an excuse. You thought Miguel had a mission for the night and you meant to hide him from your story.
“Get in the car and shut up Y/N” Miguel opened the passenger door. You shut your mouth, knowing that if you just listen, you’re punishment wouldn’t be as harsh.
Miguel walked to the other side of the car, opening his door but his movements halted when you whispered out something inaudible.
“What?” Miguel looked over at you with anger. “I left my .. purse with B/N (bestfriend name)… and it’s like designer… can you get it?” You looked over at him with teary eyes. Miguel just started at you for a moment, you’re gonna kill him.
He sucks in a deep breath before getting out of the car, closing the door to go get your purse.
He soon came back to you sleeping in the passenger seat, shaking his head.
Thirty minutes later, you’re getting carried bridal style. Miguel carried your heels,purse, and the house key in one hand. His other hand firmly holding your weight.
He swung the penthouse door closed with his foot, taking you to the bedroom. “Mig?” Your pouty whiney voice called out. “Go ahead and rest mama, you’ll be up allll night tomorrow”
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“Mhmmph” You muffled out into Miguel’s shoulder as he pounded his lower half into you. “F-fuck! Fucking gripping me” Miguel hissed as you clenched against him. “Harder” You pant out, body getting squished into the mattress.
“Harder baby? Yeah?” He smiled down at you, such a fucking whore.
This was originally supposed to be punishment for last nights actions but, knowing Miguel he can’t resist you.
“Yeah” You smile back at him before your eyes rolled back as he delivered a punch to your cervix. “Ahh..shitt” Miguel moaned out as he could feel himself so deep in you. He looks down to the bulge that appears everytime he thrusts inside you. “Feel me ma? I’m right here s-shit” Miguel presses his hand on the bulge.
“I’m cummingg” You tapped his arm, clenching around his hard length. “Not yet pretty” He slid out of you. “You were bad remember” He sickly smiled down at you.
“Nooo” You whine out in frustration, “M’sorryyy I told you this!”
“Prove it to me that you deserve it then” Miguel say up against the headboard, dragging you on top of him. Your hand stroked up and down his cock before you slid down onto him.
“Fuck” You whimpered in unison. You placed your hands on his shoulders, breathing heavily. “C-can’t move”
“Yes you can pretty girl. You can take it cariño” He placed a kiss on your chin before slowly moving you up and down. You followed his guidance, throwing your head back in pleasure. “Just like that mama,” He lets go of your waist and slapped your ass before growling out, “Good girl”
“Make us cum and maybe i’ll forgive you”
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michael knowles is not the good ol boy America deserves, but he’s the good ol boy America needs right now
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sluts4matt · 13 days
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CLASS PROJECT
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pairing: soft!nate x latina!reader
summary: nate had always been distracting, you knew that, but you didn't realize how distracting he was until you got paired with him for your final project of the semester and couldn't seem to actually focus on it.
warnings: SMUT, swearing, making out, oral (female receiving), fingering, pet names (use of the words ma and princess), no actual p in v in this one.
word count: 2449
author's note: im a matt girl i swear but guys nate’s boston accent 😍😍
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you had been paying attention all of class, or so you thought until the teacher called your name and your head shot up, you're eyes shooting wide. "did you hear what i said?" she asked, her hands on her hips as she looked at you expectedly.
you shook your head, looking down bashfully, "no ma'am," you admitted. she sighed, making a tsking sound before repeating herself, "i just assigned a group project for your final, i need you to partner up with nate," she said, causing you to look to your side.
the boys blue eyes were already on you as he gave you a small smile. you looked back at the teacher nodding your head before the bell rang. people started packing up as the teacher sighed, "the bell doesn't dismiss you, i do," which earned eye rolls and groans from students.
"see you tomorrow everyone, i'm expecting to hear that you guys have come up with great plans for this final," she called as people walked out.
you packed up your things, waiting patiently for nate to grab his stuff. he turned to you, his eyes shining, "my house or yours?" he asked, digging around his pocket for his keys as you did the same thing, digging around in your bag for your own.
"mine," you replied, pulling your keys out finally. he followed as you walked out of the classroom going towards the big double doors at the front of the school. "should i follow you? or do you want to send me your address?" he asked, making you stop in place.
the realization that nate didn't actually know where you lived settling in. you grabbed a pen from the side pocket of your bag, swiftly grabbing his arm, and flipping it over to write your address across his pale flesh. "there, now i'll see you in 20," you said, before turning and heading to your car.
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nate showed up at your house 5 minutes earlier than you had told him, his hair slightly damp and messy. you tilted your head at him, making a small tsking noise, "gonna have to teach you how to be punctual with your time," you teased, making him roll his eyes playfully.
"sorry for being early," he said, his tone mocking your own. you turned, walking away as you let him in. your mom came from the kitchen, drying her hands on a dish towel.
"you must be nate," she smiled, her cuban accent thick and her eyes a dark brown, different than your own green ones you had received from your fathers genes. "yes ma'am," he smiled politely, nodding his head as he took her hand in his own shaking it.
she let him go, waving her hand, "nonsense, no need to call me ma'am, makes me feel old, my name is naomi," she said, her tone soft and inviting.
"well, thank you for having me naomi," he smiled, his cheeks dimpling cutely. "oh of course, mi casa es su casa," she said, turning and heading back to the kitchen. "your mom seems nice," nate stated, looking down at the girl who was watching her mom go back to the kitchen with a furrowed expression.
"yeah, sure," you mumbled, turning towards the stairs, "come on." nate followed behind you as you ascended the stairs, stopping outside your room.
you pushed open the door, your eyes landing on the unmade bed and clothes scattered on the floor, "sorry about the mess," you said, stepping in and immediately picking up the scattered close.
"my rooms probably worse to be honest," he chuckled, giving you an amused look as he watched you scurry to clean it slightly. he couldn't help his nose as he picked up the subtle smell of weed and mint, something he wasn't used to but didn't hate.
"ok, it's better," you said, straightening up and taking in a deep breath. "my rooms not normally messy," you say with a timid smile, "i was just in a rush this morning," you say, turning and walking to your desk.
"it's fine, don't worry about it," he said, plopping down onto your bed. "okay, the big question is, what are we doing this project on?" you mumble, flipping through your history book.
you didn't even notice nates eyes on you, his mind racing with a million thoughts. you were gorgeous, a fact that had been established in middle school, the way your curls cascaded flawlessly down your back. he would be lying if he said he didn't use to count your freckles when you weren't paying attention.
his eyes would trail down your tan skin, wanting to be able to touch it innocently, just to feel if it's as soft as he thinks it is. your eyes were a beautiful shade of green, something that always caught his attention. your lips were full, always painted in a sheer red, pink, or purple gloss that he found himself wanting to taste.
you were the embodiment of perfection, or at least he thought so. the way you laughed, the way you smiled, the way you carried yourself, the way you made friends easily and never really got in trouble, always doing the right thing. he was always jealous of the people who got to call themselves your friend, not having the guts to walk up and start an actual conversation with you.
"don't know, wasn't actually paying attention," he shrugged, nonchalantly, bringing a hand through his golden locks. "that's helpful," you huffed, looking over at him, "guess we're winging it," you gulped, already repeating the words 'i'll get a good grade on this' in your head over and over.
"guess so," he nodded, pulling a random bucket you had in your room over next to your desk chair. he rested his elbow on your desk, his chin going into his palm as he looked a the text book sprawled out in front of the two of you.
"maybe we can talk about the civil war," he said, his eyes squinting at the page as he tried to read the words. "maybe," you said with a frown, "would be mediocre though," you sighed, resting your face in your hands.
nate chuckled, watching you groan, "we'll think of something," he said, "we still have all month," he reminded, watching as your face changed from frustration to something else, something more relaxed.
"yeah, i guess," you sighed, pushing the textbook away and grabbing a notebook, "we should at least make a timeline, and list topics we can talk about," you suggested. "yeah, why not," he shrugged, his eyes meeting yours, his pupils dilating as he watched your lips purse together, something you always did when you were thinking.
you wrote a bunch of different topics, things to talk about, and important dates that nate had forgotten.
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an hour passed and nate had been more of a distraction then he had help, not that he wasn't helping every once in a while.
his eyes were still on your face as you tapped your pen against the paper, his mind thinking of a hundred dirty things that he shouldn't have been. "you're staring," you stated, looking up at him, his blue eyes darting back to your green ones. "my bad," he shrugged, a smirk playing at his lips.
"what's got you so distracted," you asked, tilting your head slightly. "you," he shrugged, watching your expression go from confused to intrigued, your lips forming a small pout, making him bite his bottom lip.
"oh yeah?" you asked, your eyebrows raising slightly, "what about me?" you questioned, closing the notebook, and tossing the pen onto your desk, giving him your undivided attention as you turned towards him.
"you're just a very distracting person," he said, leaning closer to you. you let out a small laugh, "how am i distracting?" you asked, your eyes flickering to his lips for a second, making nate grin.
"do you really want me to tell you, or do you just want me to show you?" he asked, his eyes going half lidded as he watched your lips part, the tip of your tongue running over your bottom lip, making him clench his jaw.
"show me," you said, barely above a whisper, leaning closer to him. he didn't need anymore invitation as his lips met yours in a gentle kiss, his hands gripping your waist, bringing you closer.
the kiss was innocent, at first, both of you testing the waters, feeling each other out. your lips were just as soft as nate imagined they were, his large hands pulling you into his lap, his chest pressing against yours.
the kiss turned heated, your guys' tongues sliding together. his hands finding there way under the fabric of your shirt, feeling the skin on your back. he softly brought his hands up just to gently run his nails down.
you whimpered, the feeling of his blunt nails on your back sending shockwaves through you, goosebumps forming. nate pulled away, looking at you as you panted, his eyes dark, pupils blown. "i think i like kissing you," you breathed out, making him chuckle, "i think i do too," he mumbled, connecting his lips to yours again.
this time the kiss was hot, nates tongue exploring your mouth, his hands trailing up your sides, his thumbs just under your breast. he pulled away, attaching his lips to the spot right under your ear. you let out a gasp, your eyes going wide at the sensation.
"nate," you whispered, as his lips sucked the spot on your neck. your hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer to you. you felt him grin against your neck, his teeth gently grazing over the area he had just sucked, making you whimper.
his hands found the hem of your shirt, "is this okay?" he mumbled against your neck, his lips peppering kisses along the column of your throat. "mhm," you breathe, nodding your head.
he didn't need anymore confirmation as he pulled the fabric off of your body, his eyes immediately going to your chest, a red lacy bra, with a bow in the center holding the two mounds on your chest together. "so pretty, ma," he said, his voice deep, sending heat between your legs.
he didn't waste time in unhooking the material, tossing it to the floor. his lips found their way to the newly exposed skin, sucking one of your nipples into his mouth, his hand showing the other one love as his fingers tugged and twisted at the pink bud.
you were a panting mess above him, your hands tangled in his hair as he worshiped your body. he released your nipple with a pop, his eyes connecting with yours. "lay back for me," he mumbled, watching as you complied, laying down on the bed, the cold sheets touching your warm back.
he hovered over you, his lips leaving a trail of kisses down your body. he stopped right at the hem of your shorts, his hands undoing the button and zipper, quickly pulling them down your legs.
he licked his lips, seeing the red lace that matched your bra, a damp spot in the middle, his mouth watered. "can i eat you out, pretty girl?" he asked, looking up at you, his blue eyes dark with lust.
"please," you whimpered, making him smirk. "such a nice girl, using your manners," he said, leaning down and nipping at the flesh of your inner thighs. you let out a small whine, watching as his lips made a trail to where you needed him most.
he left open mouthed kisses along the inside of your thigh, before he pulled the red fabric to the side. he licked a fat stripe up your slit, causing your hips to buck. he chuckled, placing his large hand on your stomach, and pinning you down, his fingers digging into the flesh.
"don't move, princess," he commanded, his tongue lapping up the juices that were spilling from your core. his tongue flicked over your clit, sucking it into his mouth, his lips wrapping around the small bud. one of your hands flew to his hair while the other flew to your mouth, trying to silence the moans coming from your lips.
"want to hear you baby," he mumbled, releasing your clit, and plunging two of his long fingers into your tight cunt. your head flew back, the pleasure overwhelming as his fingers curled inside of you. "fuck, nate," you breathed, "my m- fuck," you cut yourself of with a whine.
"moms h-home," you panted, his fingers pumping in and out of you at a fast pace, curling just right to hit that spot inside of you. "don't care," he said, his teeth gently nibbling at your sensitive clit.
your walls clenched around his fingers, causing him to let out a groan. he pumped his fingers faster, the wet sounds filling the room, "such a sloppy cunt, you gonna cum for me?" he asked, his tongue flicking against the sensitive bundle of nerves, "going to be a good girl, and cum for me?" he questioned.
"fuck, nate, i- fuck, m'cumming," you cried, your legs shaking as his fingers and tongue worked in sync, his free hand moving up to tweak at your nipple. you felt the knot in the pit of your stomach tighten, your toes curling.
"there we go, cum for me baby," he encouraged, watching as you came undone around his fingers, your juices flowing out of you and onto his hand.
"fuck, so pretty, coming on my fingers," he said, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit as he worked you through your high. once your breathing went back to normal, he pulled his fingers out, he kept his eyes trained on you as he stuck them in his mouth, cleaning them, then pulling them back with a 'pop'.
"rags?" he asked, his hands rubbing over your thighs as he watched your legs shake. "bathroom," you mumble, pointing to your bathroom door. he disappeared for a minute before coming back, a white wash cloth in his hand.
his feet carried him back over to your bed, kneeling in between your legs as he swept the fabric between your thighs, cleaning the mess. once he was done, he tossed it into your hamper, making his way back onto the bed.
"you doing okay?" he asked, laying on his side, his head propped up on his hand, his elbow on the mattress. "mm, better than okay," you mumbled, opening your eyes to look up at him.
he smiled, his dimples showing, "glad i could be of assistance," he smirked, making you giggle, rolling your eyes playfully.
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tag list:
@chrryclouds @sturniolossss @junnniiieee07 @sturnioloa @tillies33ssss @hysteria-things @soimightlikeoldmen69
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jawz · 3 months
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i’ve been thinking a lot lately about the way my ethnicity affected the way i was gendered as a child, my drive to transition, and even my detransition…
as a hispanic growing up with my white mom and white stepdad and white brother and white extended family in scandinavian hell (minnesota), i always felt different, always felt wrong. (my parents divorced as a baby, and my dad and his family, cuban and italian, all live in florida.) my neighborhood wasn’t so bad; it was way more diverse than the metro area itself. growing up i had mixed friends, i had friends with curly hair… but us trailer park kids were only a fraction of the population of our schools and district. a sea of blonde hair. there were times in elementary school i would literally pray to god to make my hair straight, make my eyes blue. grown-ups touched my hair and always asked “is it naturally curly?”. my classmates urged me to straighten it and by age 13 it was part of my ridiculously time-consuming “feminizing” beauty rituals.
much earlier, by the age of 8 or 9, i already had thick, dark hair growing on my legs. other kids, boys and girls alike, called me “gorilla girl”, faked gagging when i wore shorts, insisted i was actually a boy. that one became more and more common as i came into my personality: bold, class clown, competitive with the boys. (always wanting to charm the girls, but i didn’t recognize that back then.)
my mustache was there by 8, as well. just a little peach fuzz above my lip but dark enough to notice. are you even a girl? my mom would spread wax over her own face and soon began waxing my stache as well. it hurt so badly. i put up with it because she said it would make the kids stop teasing me. of course i was a girl- she was a woman and she had peach fuzz too!… but i felt self-conscious at the fact that my body hair was so much more noticeable, even as a child. my mother’s hair is very thin, straight, lighter brown; her complexion is warmer than mine, pink where mine is olive, green and yellow. i worried you could see the strands about to burst through. i was worried that to be a girl- a woman- i must hide parts of myself every day. i must cover the shoots of grass, the weeds that reveal that i’m not fit for society, that whisper i’m wild and untamed.
it wasn’t actually until i was 18 at least that i actually started to consider myself latino. i had sometimes said ‘hispanic’ growing up, as that’s what my family in florida called themselves; they referred to themselves as “spanish”, which i found out was not quite true after compiling my family tree and discovering that those ancestors emigrated from havana. in their minds they were white: “descended from spanish royalty” (as if!!)… i had spent my youth constantly trying to claim solely whiteness, confused as to why everyone was asking me “are you mexican?” “are you jewish?” “are you middle eastern?” - even though inside i think i knew. i knew my family didn’t look like me. i resented my surname being changed to Lind when i was five, my stepdad’s name, in order to give me the same name as the rest of them. despite my apparent envy of swedes and norwegians i knew it wasn’t my name; i still stood out terribly. i glared at myself in the mirror every day, i never could move past how the kids at school said my eyes were the color of shit, that my hair looked like pubes, that i must have had a sex change without being told because that would explain the mustache, the aggression…
by the time i was fourteen i was entirely primed to accept an alternative explanation to what was “wrong” with me. my sexuality was becoming more and more apparent but before i could ever come out as lesbian or even bi, i had discovered what it meant to be trans. i was so immediately certain that this was the key, THIS was why everyone said i didn’t fit in, THIS was why my behavior wasn’t girly, THIS was why i wanted to date girls. it was 2011, still deep in the “brain sex” era of the trans community, and i was sure without a shadow of a doubt that i was physically female, mentally male. all that needed to be done was to “correct” my body and bring it in line with my brain. despite the fact that very few people knew what transition actually was back then, i genuinely assumed it would make sense to everyone else, too: they had told me i wasn’t ‘really’ a girl so many times i had no trouble believing it.
transition, of course, did not suddenly de-latinize me LOL. first i became a total Other, outside of both the minnesotan ethnic norms and the gender+sex norms; eventually, with hormones and surgery at a very young age, i was able to pass as a boy, but by the time i could grow actual full-on facial hair, i realized i was still the pan-latin american enigma to people around me. multiple times someone would call me “sanchez” as some sort of attempted insult or joke. police looked at me differently than they had before. shop owners followed me, accused me of shoplifting. and sometimes, the white girls i dated told me that i was way cooler than all the boring white boys they knew. one girl even called me “exotic” to my face. it was, apparently, a compliment.
when i was 21 i heard that my girlfriend had referred to me to others as “a POC who identifies as white”. it felt as though she didn’t even know me at all. i’d never claimed either of those things to her.
moving to the west coast (socal specifically, where being latino/a is not considered ‘abnormal’) illuminated a lot of the bizarre and unnatural racial expectations of my midwest upbringing; i think by this point i was beginning to realize what so many things from my childhood had meant. that they weren’t really saying i was a boy. they were saying we don’t like girls who look like you, and we’d rather not have you included in our category.
it took me another three years to fully reckon with this. by the time i decided to detransition i had a much better understanding of the circumstances of my life; conversations with close friends who are also latina and have walked similar paths to me, heard similar insults, similar “compliments”, opened my eyes to the fact that i was not alone. i no longer feel weird for thinking the race/ethnicity boxes on government forms are hopelessly reductive. i know who i am and who i am not.
(around this time, i happened upon some old pictures of my dad’s side of the family. beautiful and glamorous women: adela, my uncle’s mother, the piano player; melanie, my aunt, the wife, hostess, and addict; lauren and andrea, my cousins, the restauranteurs; stella, my dad’s mamma, the widow and matriarch. and on all their faces, thick dark eyebrows, and, yes, that ever-familiar peach fuzz. i swear it healed something in my soul. despite my lack of beauty and glamor, we are not so different after all.)
that’s not to say all things are easy now. i’ve spent three years living as a GNC woman and if that wasn’t enough to confirm most all of my hypotheses on people’s perceptions of me, i don’t know what is.
detrans spaces (like most trans spaces) are overwhelmingly white- or at least that’s who dominates conversation. i see SO much downplaying of the things that naturally hairy women go through societally. i see trans allies who purport to be “okay” with detransitioners, saying “what’s the big deal? if you took testosterone you can just go off it and get laser hair removal!! :)” as if laser isn’t expensive as hell, painful as hell, and also WAY more of a process for a woman with dark curly hair than it is for one with straight blonde hair lmfao!!! i see detrans women obsessed with removing all traces of hair from their bodies (even though most of them clearly don’t have a neverending five o’clock shadow like some of us do! my lower face has a constant blue-green disturbance under the surface which makes female spaces incredibly daunting) and insulting the rest of us for being ugly and hairy and making no effort to look like women or what the fuck ever. basically, a lot of people who claim to support us are just racists and essentialists and believe that sex is visual and not biological…🤨
anyway… i guess my main takeaways from all this are:
1. please stop acting like detransition is an entirely internal process and that it’s easy for all of us to be seen as our sex again (some of us like. actually transitioned and passed as the opposite sex), or that potential physical interventions aren’t incredibly invasive and difficult
2. stop assuming all transition and detransition journeys follow your own experience of lifelong whiteness and hairlessness
3. it is a distinct experience to be regularly de-gendered or denied your sex, PRIOR to ever thinking of yourself as literally trans. many trans/detrans people had this happen to us (we were once the vast majority of trans people). but many did not, and generally shock others when they begun breaking gender norms. i really think people from the second group often have trouble understanding that for the first group, changing gender expression is basically a bandaid over an abscess… we have lived entire lifetimes being denied our sex, being told our bodies are not “truly” ours, that there is someone else inside trying to break out. kicked out of the bathroom, the changing room, alienated from single-sex peer groups. transition just flips this experience and instead separates us from our preferred gender group, reinforcing the feeling that we have no place, anywhere.
race/ethnicity, being homosexual or bisexual, mental illness stigma, disability, and low economic class all play an additional role in this. stop perpetuating this and denying us our biological sex.
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