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#my brain chemistry is fucked up because of her
goatpaste · 2 days
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I want you to know that I think about your "Slipping Through My Fingers" Diego video every single day, that permanently altered my brain chemistry
HORAYYY injecting my art in there
oUGH but it is one of my fav animatics.... like man world where Lucy travels with HP and diego...
The connection between two lil blonds who grew up dirt poor in not great conditions, were suddenly ripped from their parents at a young age, thrust into responsibility above their head for their age, now with a lot of money and riches and in general were forced to grow up too fast, can be so personal and meaningful
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Like fuck, what if in being forced to save a girl and do your first kind act in many years your now facing someone who understands you in a weird way, someone who can mirror you and bounce back all the parts of you that grew bitter and mean that you hate because their still good in her. Someone who you find you cant help but want to keep safe.
What if your put into the unlikely world were your finally let out of the bubble you've been put into after being ripped from your father and family and put among other people. Selfish people who are being forced to learn to widen their scope on the world and take care of you. That your teaching them to love and care about others and themselves, and in that learning they teach you to lean on them. that your not the adult and you dont have to be the adult, your 14 and its not your job to keep them safe. Its your job to keep your youth. They know this best, both of them lost their childhoods and their not going to let you lose yours.
the cycle of remembering the people who loved you and left a lasting imprint onto you that you are now handing down to this scared child. Your handing down a peice of that happiness you've managed to keep all these years..
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oh-cramity-its-amity · 2 months
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its so weird to read some of my old fics (do NOT do it but i'm just being hypothetical rn) and reading it. like who even was this person?? i completely was in a haze back in 2020. i literally was posting 3 chapters a day. A DAY. what in the WORLD was that shit.
anyway i remembered some STUPID sappy shit and i didnt remember if i'd put it into a fic or not BUT I FOUND IT.
She and Hope had been dating in secret for months anyway, and any attempt to go talk to Ryan only filed her disposition of displeasure upon knowing that she couldn’t tell anyone, Molly especially, it destroyed herself mentally. They couldn’t really go anywhere near the school, always having to lie to everyone about having projects together when Molly wasn’t around them. It’d consisted with 9 PM - 2 AM intervals of being able to actually see each other. Hope would sneak through her small bedroom window with a portable record player and whatever she had gotten from the vintage record store downtown, and Amy would always fall asleep around eleven because of her internal clock. She would always wake up to find a single sticky note stuck on the edge of her desk whenever she woke up to her alarm the next morning. One of them, Amy still had tucked inside of her phone case, a heavily detailed human heart, with blue and red ink sketched onto a neon pink sticky note, there was a caption that headed the small paper reading the phrase over every now and again makes her almost melt every time. “You have my heart.”
yeah idk why the fuck but i thought of this fucking idea again today and i was like "omg did i ever put that heart note thing in a fic???" yeah you fucking did.
all that to say ME AND WHO???? imagine. thats so fucking.... RAHHHH.
#NOT TOH FANFIC#see this is why i write fanfic. to enact some gay ass shit like this.#the fucking STICKY NOTE WITH A DRAWING OF A HUMAN HEART AND SAYING “YOU HAVE MY HEART” I AM ON THE FLOOR.#*sighs* sucks i cant reuse it on lumity though.#my friend making me realize i actually have rizz but am just too much of a disaster to actually understand cues with people#its a MESS. im just all over the place. i literally ranted to THE SAME FRIEND yesterday (or the day before??) abt some girl jesus.#anyway i remember writing A LOT OF POETRY back in hs about this one girl and then the same girl i got to talk to--#--my first actual conversation with her i blurted out that i wanted to shave my head. she was like.... oooooo god i was A MESS#still slid into her school dms during covid and was like “haha guess what i actually mf did???” anyway all that to say underlying dysphoria#they're nonbinary now too and i kinda ghosted them like a complete idiot :(. its been two years or so but i still think of them... a lot...#actually i have more lore about this person and its like istg they actually really liked me but i could not pick it up.#we had such SUCH good chemistry and vibes. n they were really pretty. ughhhhhh.#anyway yeah idk crushes are weird sometimes. the universe knows how unstoppable id be with a partner#i feel like i was the reason they were able to find themself and their identity because when we were talking i always encouraged them#and told them to do what felt right. im glad they did. i think sometimes that brings me peace. like i served a purpose.#STILL showed them toh. STILL SHOWED THEM TOH.#we were talking about amity LMAO “this green haired girl seems interesting” SHE SO WAS.#...yeah i wish i could text them but i kinda probably fucked it up.#shitposting shit#idk what this post is i just wanted to talk about this dumb sticky note thing because im rotating it in my brain and remembering how#mentally ill i was back in 2020#talking into the void yk how it isssss
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viiisenyas · 5 months
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If my brain disrupts my plot with a new idea that changes the entire story ONE MORE TIME
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munamania · 1 year
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be so serious with me. do you think that shared trauma caused by interdimensional violence and death and government conspiracies and survivor’s guilt would seriously be outweighed by a petty high school breakup.
#be SO serious.#like. are you kidding. are you joking.#you'd isolate nancy from the other teens. two of her only living friends. bc of a stupid breakup in a dwindling failing unfortunately#incompatible relationship. you think that's like. a good take.#i'm personally a fan of steve and nancy weird awkward best friend soulmatism. they gave it a go it didnt work they still had fun chemistry#and they have all that shared experience.#i'm pretending i dont see s4's Moments#abby talks#i just got hit with this bc of a gifset of steve robin and nancy and the little gremlin in my brain went#oh people would Hate this. because god forbid nancy be anywhere near the golden duo. but they're STUPID#steve still admires nancy i think!!!! that's his first love!!!! and they made up in season 2 and so much has happened since???#i dont think he needed to say I may be a shit boyfriend because yeah no he wasnt. but he was not compatible for nancy#dealing with her trauma and her need for acknowledgment in barb's death. and her guilt. that's not a fault of either of them it just didnt#work. that's just. whoopsies oopsies it's almost like they needed to show an incompatibility there to eventually move her on to jonathan#which is so reductive and stupid and i wish she was just alone but whatever#and REGARDLESS of that. she is not responsible for his feelings of insecurity!!! she had a drunken rant and yeah that sucks it was harsh#but god everyone has their moments#another YOU PEOPLE ARE WEIRD!!!!!! moment. try fucking thinking for once#you don't have to like nancy but coming up with all these absurd ass excuses and centering her entire character arc around how she#interacts with men. oh i could kill you.#btw whatever i dont hate jon and nancy and it's a story and it's fine but god she could use time to just be with herself
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kurtcore · 7 months
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so stressed abt work i start crying and feel sick w anxiety…maybe i should find a new job
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youaretheunicorn · 7 months
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moments in bottoms (2023) that have permanently altered my brain chemistry in no specific order
"omg ive always wanted one of these" *holds up a normal grey hoodie*
hazel's "why would you lie to me :(("
when complicated by avril lavigne started playing and we got a scene of josie walking broodily and sad while kicking a can on the ground
"so maybe ill buy a gun" "noOo"
"im gonna fuck up some football players and im buying a gun"
"YESSSSS YESSSSSS QUEENSSS SLAAAAYYY YESSS"
"is it because i said amelia earhart was a fake hero?"
when pj basically attacked hazel with her tongue
that kiss also being like the best kiss ive seen on tv in the last 10 years like unironically im so serious
josie and isobel making out covered in blood
the guy who wanted to blow the school up and literally wrote "BLOW UP SCHOOL" in his diary
"i know you're a black republican but you're the smartest among us"
"im not (gay). i just like gay porn"
hazels mom sleeping with jeff
"i FUCKED your mom" when the mom joke is actually real but also it makes your gf break up with you
hazel
just hazel she's so pretty pls give me a chance
that whole final fight scene
the football team that would kill a player every 20 years and was going to kill jeff by putting pineapple juice, to which he is deadly allergic, in the sprinklers???????????????????
"yes hazel, let's do terrorism"
*does the terrorism*
TWICE
again the guy that wanted to blow up the school who went THAT WAS MY THING after the tree blew up. he was holding a bomb button thingy. where was the bomb. what. let's go back to that for a second. hello. where was the bomb
horny freak #1 horny freak #2
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ifwebefriends · 5 days
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My thoughts during “The Sign” [SPOILERS!!!!!]
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ID in ALT
More thoughts under the cut
So I think most of us can agree that this is the best episode of Bluey so far. It was so emotional and satisfying in ways that are kinda new for Bluey. It answered so many questions while giving us a few new ones. I’ve been waiting for this episode for months and it did not disappoint in any way.
This is just a Chekov’s firing squad of an episode. As in a lot of stuff that was set up in earlier episodes all pay off in this episode. I kinda understand why people love soap operas now lol. I will say that this episode was a tad overwhelming for me in the best way possible. As in I had to pause and rewind every 30 seconds or so so I could emotionally process what was happening before moving forward (but that’s a me thing). There was just so much going on and I’m happy about that.
Now onto individual thoughts about specific things:
The callback to Baby Race (“you took your first steps in that house!”) really got to me because Baby Race was the first episode of Bluey that I watched and it immediately made me fall in love with it so it just got to me.
When Chilli said “Frisky and I came up here as teenagers to…um…think,” my mind started racing immediately with “what the FUCK happened at the Lookout?” “Who hurt Frisky and/or Chilli?” And I’m just so curious about what made Chilli say that line like that but we’ll probably never know what happened.
So yeah that scene at the end when the music was playing and Bandit ripped the sign out of the ground and Chilli tackled him to the ground ABSOLUTELY CHANGED my brain chemistry y’all. I can’t articulate my feelings any more than that.
I know some people were upset that Brandy ended up getting pregnant but I thought it was great for her! I’m happy for her! And I think that even though she got what she wanted in the end doesn’t negate the feelings she had about her infertility earlier. But I think we’re all wondering who the father is and I don’t know if the show really needs to answer that.
The whole message of “we’ll see” in terms of if something is good or bad is such a mature message that I never really thought of like that so I will be taking that philosophy forward in life. Congratulations Bluey, you managed to teach a 22-year-old childless person something new and insightful about life that I don’t think I’ve learned from another show.
I want to know more about what Bob was going through and feeling and why he went to India, but again, we’ll probably never know.
I just love how the wedding photos were beautiful but imperfect. Like of course we’re not perfect and nothing will ever be perfect but it’s beautiful and worth remembering anyway.
So many little jokes and moments were so funny in a mature way (I.e. “are we allowed to do that?” And Nana thinking there was about to be a baby announcement) were just so funny and memorable.
I think some people would say it’s a cop-out to end up not selling the house after building it up for 2 episodes but I don’t know, I think it works. I think Bluey and Bingo learned a valuable lesson and Bandit (and Chilli kinda) learned it’s not always about making their kids lives “perfect” in their eyes. Also I’m just personally glad they didn’t end up selling the house and I also kinda like that it wasn’t entirely their choice to keep it.
On a more serious note I think this episode has some interesting commentary on like gender roles and gender relations in straight relationships. In this episode Chilli and Frisky (both women) have to deal with their male significant others pressuring them to move with them far away from what they know and love. In the end they don’t end up moving and the men didn’t seem to have like malicious or selfish intent with it, they were just kinda basing their choices off their jobs instead of what’s best emotionally for their loved ones. But I think it’s interesting to have this conflict where gender is kinda brought up in a way (“because your husband is making you”). It kinda plays into the traditional idea of like men are the breadwinners and the family has to move with them regardless of what they actually want. And this episode kinda like deconstructs that and says “no, it’s not always about the job or money, it’s also sometimes about connections and emotional attachment.” And I’m not saying that you should never move or whatever, but really weigh your options. I just thought that it was interesting that this episode kinda touched on that.
So yeah that’s kinda the main thoughts I had on this episode if you made it this far thank you for reading my rambles and have a good one!
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schwarzkatje · 16 days
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you don't understand what happens to my brain chemistry when i think about an inexperienced ellie whose first experience with sexuality comes from porn magazines.
imagine ellie laughing at first because she finds the scene displayed on the pages so absurd but then, as she lingers more and more, as the kick of laughter slowly dies down, something else emerges. and only after quite some time ellie realises it has a specific name: sexual arousement.
her eyes simply can't help but devour the image of pretty women showing their bodies, groping their curves and plump parts, being licked and sucked and fucked like their lives depended on the mere act of sex.
ellie also relatively quickly understands that what draws her most is not the scenario where she is in lieu of said women, rather the scenario where she is the active one, where her ego surpasses her awkwardness and for just once she can pretend she is not an oblivious kid, merely a young adult.
there's one more thing that seems to bother her without offering an intrinsic or at least doable solution: all the magazines she has bumped into depicted hetero couples. therefore, how would poor and new to this world ellie fathom the idea of bringing pleasure to a woman without having a dick?
of course, when ellie grows up she leaves behind this interiorised heteronormativity (and subsequent unintentional interiorised homophobia).
but try and picture the complete astonishment she must have felt when, while exploring abandoned malls and shops of all sorts, she was struck by the discovery of a strap.
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lilahisntsadanymore · 4 months
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Blood status seems to become less important when you acknowledge the actual feeling of love. What will Theo do when Y/n comes to the terms with the differences between them being impossible to ignore?
Pairing: Theo Nott x granger!reader
Words count: 1.9k
Author's note: My apologies for keeping you waiting so long, but I finally got some time off at uni!! Wishing you all a good year!!
Kind of a 2nd part of this fic, but you can read it without the previous one
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Keep you safe
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One evening, Theo was waiting in the library. Waiting for a person he never expected to talk to. Y/n Granger. He found himself feeling a bit nervous, even though there was no reason.
Thinking about Y/n made him feel something. A feeling he never felt before. Slughorn said it's love, the muggle kind of love, the purest form, not induced by anything supernatural.
Theo decided to read about it. Hoping to find some book about it, he asked the librarian. She gave him a book specifically about love potions and spells. One of the first chapters was just what Theo was looking for.
"How to tell the difference between love and infatuation caused by magic." He whispered the first sentence to himself.
He started reading, his mind realizing what he got himself into as his gaze brushed over the text. Well, technically it wasn't his own fault and apparently also not the girl's fault.
But there must've been a reason. If love was a part of biology, brain chemistry, there had to be some logical factor.
"What are you reading?"
When Theo heard Y/n's voice right next to him, he immediately closed the book, causing it to make a loud sound.
"You took such a long time I got bored." He replied.
"Don't be so shy," the girl shifted her eyes to the title of the book, "oh, love potions and spells? But we're doing something completely different."
"Really? I couldn't care less, forgot what we were supposed to do." Surely one thing he'd love to do was making out with her on that table.
Y/n put her homework on the table.
"Read it and tell me what's wrong."
"Nothing is wrong, I just-"
"What's wrong with my text, Nott. I didn't ask how you were doing."
"Right."
Theo took the papers and started reading. The text was written with the most beautiful handwriting he's ever seen. So elegant, so precise.
"How long did it take you to write?" He asked.
"One evening. It was easier than you'd think."
"I think it's extremely easy." He bragged. "Anyway, is that all? Or do you wanna add something?"
"Well, Slughorn thought it's necessary for you to help me. Is there anything you think should be added?"
"Uh, no, it looks fine," he mumbled, avoiding eye contact.
"Fine? Theodore Nott, the perfectionist Slytherin, settles for 'fine'? I expected more from you."
"Look, it's not my homework, it's yours. I don't know why I agreed to help you, but it was pointless."
"You got yourself into this, could've said no."
"What the fuck am I even doing?" Theo asked rather himself than the girl. "I don't need to be helping a mudblood, who cares what grade you'll get." With these words, he stood up.
"Because-" Y/n stuttered. "Because... I've heard your conversation with Slughorn. And you said... that you liked me."
"Me? Liking you?" He snorted with laughter. "What the hell, Granger?"
Tears formed in Y/n's eyes as she watched Theo walk away. Sure, he was mean to her before, this wasn't the first time. But this time was somehow different.
Y/n could swear she heard Theo confessing to Slughorn that he's actually in love with her. It's not possible her brain played tricks on her. Plus Hermione said Theo told her about his feelings for Y/n.
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Harry walked onto the astronomy tower. Y/n was supposed to be back a long time ago. Ron and Hermione also wanted to go there, but Harry asked to let him go alone.
Harry knew where Y/n was thanks to the Map. He felt such relief not seeing Nott's name next to hers. She was standing alone, leaning on the banister. There was something in her hand, Harry couldn't see well in the dark, but from the smell he realized it was a cigarette.
"I didn't know you smoke." He spoke.
Y/n expected this to happen, she was aware of Harry's feelings towards her. She took one last drag from her cigarette then dropped it on the ground, put it out with her shoe and kicked off the tower.
"Why do you keep doing this?" Y/n asked, smoke leaving through her mouth. "I knew you're gonna look at your silly little map to see where I am."
"We were starting to get worried. Theo is... you know, dangerous. We got scared he would hurt you."
And he did. Theo did hurt Y/n, just not physically.
"Hermione should be here instead. But, let me guess, you told her you'll check up on me."
"Maybe," Harry admitted finally, "do you know why? Because I actually care about you. I've had feelings for you for years. I deserve you, not Nott. I deserve you, because-"
"Because you're the chosen one?" She mocked and paused. "Look, Harry, I like you as a friend. I've never felt anything more than this. I can't change how I see you and I won't pretend otherwise."
He nodded, acceptance settling in. "I get it. I just... I thought if I cared enough, it would make a difference."
"Caring is important, Harry, but it doesn't always lead to the feelings we hope for."
"Whoever you date, just don't date Nott, please."
"I promise I won't. Not after today, I'm over him."
"Care to share what happened?"
"I'll tell you, Hermione and Ron in the common room. Let's go, I've been here too long."
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Y/n didn't even know how wrong she was that night on the astronomy tower, but she forgot about it. Weeks went by, Christmas had passed, everyone were back from the break. Classes started again and Y/n found herself hoping to catch a glimpse of Theo.
They kept exchanging glances on the corridors, accidentally bumping into each other in the crowds. Y/n wanted to believe Theo liked her, but even if he did, they could never work.
"Y/n, listen to me," he said, catching her when she was alone in the library one time. "I know how things have been between us, but during the break I... I realized I don't wanna keep being enemies."
"Theo, you know it could never work. You said what you said and maybe it's better to leave it this way."
"I contemplated a lot," it was true, he spent the break mostly in his room, drowning in thoughts. About her, about them, coming to terms with what he was feeling. "I decided to accept my feelings."
"That's great for you, but we could never work. I've always 'fancied' you, I guess, despite what you were doing, ironically, but the time we worked on my project together, I accepted we could never work."
"And why's that?"
Y/n took a deep breath, wondering if he was stupid or just pretending. Maybe it was a bet he had with someone. Maybe Draco dared him to do this.
"You don't see how different we are? What do you expect is gonna happen? Would you introduce me to your father? Wouldn't you care that I'd get you disowned?"
Theo looked at her, Y/n could see sadness in his eyes. She realized her words made him realize the differences between them, because he walked away. Theo walked away without a word.
Y/n pierced her own heart with an invisible knife. She was really hoping they could work, but it just wasn't possible in this universe. Maybe there was a universe where none of this purity bullshit didn't exist. Y/n wished she would've been born there.
Y/n couldn't predict what Theo was going to do. She thought her words made him give up on her. It was for the best, of course, she should've focused on her studies firstly, and then on a realistic relationship.
It was a Friday. Y/n was sitting next to Ginny by the Gryffindor table. It was dinner time, all the students gathered in the Great Hall. All the students besides one Slytherin, the one that Y/n hoped to see. Maybe it was weird, but she enjoyed the sad looks they'd pass to each other.
"Hey, Y/n, are you listening?" Hermione asked from across the table.
"Sure," Y/n quickly shifted her eyes to her sister. "You were talking about Defence Against the Dark Arts."
"You've got divided attention. Stop looking at the Slytherin table."
"Ugh," Ginny groaned, "were you doing this again? Merlin, you stare at this Slytherin git 90% of the time."
"Well, he isn't here today. I wonder where he could be. Everyone else is here."
"There he is," Ron pointed out, rolling his eyes.
The golden trio and two younger Gryffindors looked at the doors' direction. Theo had just walked into the Great Hall, but surprisingly he didn't walk towards his table. He walked towards Y/n.
"Y/n," he spoke, catching everyone's attention. People were reading to witness another argument. "I can't help this, I love you."
Shocked noises came from all the tables, but Slytherins kept whispering between each other also when Theo continued talking.
"I don't care what anyone says, anyone thinks. Love is not meant to be controlled, it kills me to fight it."
Y/n stood up from the table, ready to leave the room.
"Theo, stop," she begged, "you're embarrassing us both. Your friends will-"
"I don't care what they do. If they don't accept it, they're not my friends. If anyone wants to fight me for having feelings for a muggleborn, I can fight, I've never lost a duel."
The whole Great Hall fell silent, even the teachers didn't try to intervene, when they saw Theo pulling out a small, black velvet box.
"I want you to wear this ring," he opened the box, "as my promise to always protect you from whoever tries to harm you or our relationship."
"It's beautiful, but..." Y/n was speechless by the sight of the ring. It was silver with two gemstones forming a subtle heart - half emerald and half ruby.
"It was custom made and if you accept it, I'll once get you a matching engagement ring. Also, there are thorns which will hurt you when you try taking it off. I want you forever, Y/n Granger."
The ring in the black velvet box sparkled under the enchanted ceiling. The Great Hall remained in silence as Theo poured his heart out, confessing his love. The unexpected turn of events had everyone on edge.
Slytherins exchanged intrigued glances, Gryffindors shared confused looks and even the teachers seemed to not know how to react. Y/n could feel the weight of everyone's eyes on her, and for a moment, she considered the potential consequences of accepting Theo's proposal.
"Theo," she began, her voice breaking, "it's not that simple."
"I know it is. But I can't keep hiding my feelings, Y/n. I've tried, and it's tearing me apart. I'll protect you from whatever comes our way."
Y/n looked at the ring, then back at him. "I believe in second chances. And I appreciate your sincerity. I accept the ring, Theo."
Theo carefully took the ring from the box and gently slid it onto Y/n's finger. The Great Hall burst with cheering and applause, only the Slytherin table didn't seem so enthusiastic about this.
Theo placed his hands on Y/n's waist, pulling her in for a kiss. She didn't hesitate to kiss him back, her hands sinking in his dense her yet the ring on her finger still visible, reflecting the light from the ceiling.
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hearts4chriss · 2 months
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Princess.
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bad boy! Chris x nerd! Poc reader
prompt: Chris notices you, just a regular girl, pretty nerd, focused on her studies and nothing else, Chris has this attraction to you, his goal is to get ur attention and absolutely destroy you and ur innocence all together, a school project just might be his trick
inspired by: @luv4kozume my mama and talented queen go read her shit now
Part 7
warnings: reader is on BC!! overstimulation, rough sex ( p in v ), degrading, hair pulling, use of pet names ( good girl, sweetheart, baby ), ass slapping, teasing, manipulation ??, aftercare tho!!
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“Fucking hell” I say to myself, I had a project with the nerd. Now ur probably like “Chris she’s just a nerd come on” She’s not ur regular nerd, she’s just innocent as shit, never had sex, never received head or pleasure from anyone focussed on her studies but I’ve heard her talk to her friends, she’s got a dirty mouth one i'd love to put to good use.
the second we got assigned partners for a chemistry project a smirk curved across my lips. I see her turn back to me and give me an innocent welcoming smile. fuck that was enough to make cum in my pants. the way her clear glasses sit on her cute little nose, her plump lips with a layer of gloss on them. and damn that uniform on her.
the way her skirt rides up when she sits down allowing me to get a good look at her ass, I see her light purple panties from here just a bit. Nobody else was looking at her, more focused on the basic ass bitches whose asses were purposely exposed. whores.
Fuck I couldn't take my eyes off her, the way she pulled her skirt down in the back, she could bare the fact the school's skirts were so short her ass was poking out. Her stockings climb up her thighs and her dress shoes dangle off her feet, the blazer fits perfectly around her skirt, and the white button-up shirt school rules top two buttons for all girls must be undone, Fuck- her tits sat so perfectly in it,
And then shit don't get me started on the tie. I've always pictured me putting mine around her pulling it as I fucked her. She was so damn innocent, the way she'd look back every now and then to see me because we were partners and give me that same smile innocent smile, as I was thinking about ruining her pussy. The only thing stopping me was the fact we were in class, but shit- I swear when I have her alone I was gonna fuck her so good, ruin her innocence entirely.
Eventually class was over and so was school, which meant It was about to just us.
Your Pov now
I got up from my seat and made my way out of class to wait for chris, I readjust my glasses and apply some more lip gloss.
The boy walks out and I give him a small smile and he gives me a smirk looking down at me and biting his lip, I just shrug it off and he opens his car door for me and we start driving back to his house
"Are you excited about our project Chris?" I asked him softly trying to kill the silence
Fuck her voice, it was so soft and sweet. just imaging her moaning was even better, I let out a soft groan feeling my dick press against my pants before I respond to her.
“Oh yeah for sure I cant wait.” to fuck ur brains out till you can't take it anymore.
We arrived at his house and we walked inside and his parents weren't home so he offered to work in his room and I nodded and we walked. upstairs into it and sat on his bed.
I smiled and took my computer out and laid on my stomach and began to start a slide show.
Fuck- does she know what she's doing? I felt my dick get even harder a small wet spot appearing on my pants.
I sat and watched this hot nerd on my bed and realized.
We were not gonna get anything done tonight.
I began to un do my belt and slip my pants and boxers down, I tossed my blazer on the floor and my shirt and tie approaching her.
I slowly lifted up her skirt and pull her light purple panties down staring at her bare ass, she had no idea. Fuck the surprise she was in for.
I press my dick against her sliding into her as she let out a moan fuck she was so tight.
“Chris- wh- o-oh god”- she moaned, it rang in my ears.
“is this okay?” I asked, I wanted to make sure she was okay with what I was about to do to her.
“mmph- y-yes- she stutters” I could hear her struggling it was pretty cute.
I took her skirt off and blazer allowing me to grip her hips and thrust in her quickly, her moans growing louder as I moved her computer to my nightstand.
“Ur pussy's so tight baby fuck-“ I groan as her wetness coated my dick allowing me to start pounding into her, her moans got louder as she moans my name and fuck did it turn me.
“Fuck c'mere-“I say impatiently arching her back and pushing her face into the pillow before pounding into her again.
“C-chris o-oh god-“ she cries out gripping my sheets as I saw her glasses fogging up from her heavy breathing, I knew this was probably a lot for her but I was dying to fuck her.
My hips snapping with hers sounded euphoric as she cried out my name, I did what she least expected.
I pulled her hair and thrusted into her harshly my hips snapped harshly on her ass and she squealed at the sudden roughness.
“Oh God- I-chris-“ She cries out and I decide to opt for slower and deep thrusts knocking the wind out of her lunges.
“Not so innocent now are you sweetheart.” I said with a smirk getting impatient at the pace so I shoved her face into the pillow starting to pound in her again the moans and heavy breathing of this innocent girl grew louder again.
“Shit shit shit-“ curses leave her mouth and I chuckle darkly
“hm, you've got a dirty mouth, don't you?” I whisper into her ear and she moans in response, she sounds so beautiful like this.
she fits so snug around me. I felt her squeeze tightly around my dick and I groan in response at how quickly I was about to make her cum and me as well as I twitch inside her.
“You on the pill baby?” I asked her and she nodded and I pull her hair roughly
“Use ur words princess.” I say still pounding into her.
“I-I-am- f-fuck-“ she stutters out and moans my lips curling into a playful smile.
“Good girl, you can cum now.l I say as I harshly snap my hips feeling her cum on my cock and I release inside of her.
I pulled out watching our cum drip out of her pussy thats when I realized, I was nowhere near finished with her.
“On ur stomach for me?” i asked her and she immediately complied.
I unbottoned her shirt leaving her tie on seeing her fully naked wearing just a tie makes my dick perk up again.
I slap my tip on her folds and she whimpered.
I spread her legs pushing them against her chest and slip inside her easily and she cries out at me pounding into her with force rocking her small body on the bed.
watched her stomach seeing my bulge and I chuckled seeing her eyes squeeze shut and her glasses start slipping from her face.
“Ugh F-fuck- my glasses-“ she cries out as they started falling off onto her body from how hard I was fucking her.
“fuck- push em up for me yeah?” I sighed deeply and she reached a shaken hand pushing the frames back on her face.
She looks so hot like this, all fucked out on my bed for me and she has no idea this was only the beginning
“C-Chris ngh- I-c-can’t-“ she stutters as I watch the tears form in her eyes from the overwhelming pleasure I was giving her, the way her tits were pressed up against her body as I held her legs up easily slipping in and out of her wet pussy.
“come on baby, your taking me so well- shit-“ I grunted angling my hips to come in contact with hers more quickly and harshly and hearing her whimpers was so fucking hot.
I attach my thumb to her clit rubbing it in circles and she squealed at the sudden contact from her sensitivity.
“Shit Chris- I-t-the project!” She screams out my name and I smirk at her innocence, I had never thought about the damn project.
“oh princess you really think that’s what I care about?” I say snapping my hips with hers once more pounding her pretty pussy and she curses my name.
“I’ve only been thinking about fucking that pretty ass of yours for days, shit you and that skirt-“ I chuckle drawing figure 8s on her swollen clit and her thighs tremble in my hands.
“Fuck- mphm oh g-god-“ she cries out, her body trembling in my hands her body covered in a thin layer of sweat, her cute classes now discarded.
“Hm? What was that sweetheart?” I smirk pulling her tie making her gulp and her eyes widen as I pull it and thrust into her roughly, the sounds of my hips and her thighs slapping fuck- I could’ve cum right there.
“CHRIS- p-please-“ she stutters gripping the sheets and my finger tips needing her plush thighs as she begs for an orgasm.
“You need to cum?” I say leaning over in her ear.
“Y-yes god-“ she whimpers arching her back.
I decided I would let her cum under one condition.
“princess I’m the only one who’s aloud to fuck you from now on got it?” I say placing my tongue around her nipple sucking softly and she groans.
“Y-yes I-i got it-“ she cries out and I rocked her body harder rubbing her clit and she tightens around me before beginning to squirt, she didn’t stop.
“Fuck you just squirted all over me-“ I chuckle slowing my thrusts.
“Mmph- I’m sorry- I-“ she stutters and I shake my head and chuckle.
“It’s okay honey I’ll take care of you”. I smile and pull out of her smirking seeing proudly at the mess I made of this girl, her thighs shake a bit, our cum dripping out of her and the wet patch on my sheets from her squirting just now. Her face a little teary and fuck she looked so hot all fucked out for me.
I picked up her body and ran her a bath and sat her on the counter for a second
“Spread ur legs for me mama.” I ask her calmly and she does so and I take a warm cloth and rub slowly between her legs and she winces.
“S-sensitive”- she whimpers and I stop and place her in the warm water
“Sorry.” I smile putting her braids in a bun and she sighs in the water.
“thank you for taking care me-“ she sighs smiling at me innocently.
the rest of the night consists of me making sure she was okay
Oh and the project? She, yes ms nerdy herself, asked for an extension
tag list !
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@nonamegirlxsturniolo @luvmxtt @theyluv-meee @mattsnymphette @hoesformatt @luv4kozume @iiheartstef @kikisturnioloo @itzdarling @pepsiimaxx @babyddolly @junnniiieee07 @st7rnioioss
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chaoticace2005 · 3 months
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Top Hazbin Hotel Songs so far: (order not super relevant because I jump a lot between my favorites so it’s hard to have a definitive ranking.)
(Note: ALL the songs were bops. There wasn’t a single one I disliked. I’m just going off which ones hit me the hardest and are now living in my head.)
1. Stayed Gone- this song is just so fucking catchy. The quick talking of Vox at the beginning is great- displaying confidence while also clearly overcompensating. The music is pretty repetitive at first but in a comforting way, being simple in terms of number of instruments. And then Al comes in and changes it up. I love the way these two argue- Al just roasting the hell out of Vox was great. The rivalry between these two is great and so entertaining to watch.
2. Loser Baby- so cute. Keith David’s voice was amazing. Loved Angel and Husk’s chemistry. Angel’s shock/annoyance at Husk at first is hilarious. Also songs like that and Crooked (from Helluva Boss) really are saying something’s we really don’t hear often enough: that things are a mess sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you’re alone. Both songs acknowledge the messy parts of the characters and both say “I see that, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care for you.” Plus it being in the same episode as Poison? Their messages complimented each other well and kind of closed the story for it.
3. Poison- Blake Roman is just- wow. No words. When this song came out a couple weeks ago I had it on repeat obsessively. We get to see Angel’s internal thoughts- his self-blaming for all the shit that’s happening, and how hopeless he feels. The emotion poured into this is astounding. It was amazing as a stand-alone song, and then the way the show integrated it in episode 4 made it hit even harder. It’s definitely A LOT- but sometimes that’s what makes such hard hitting songs, being so personal.
4. Hell is Forever- Alex Brightman killed it as always. I listened to this one on repeat dozens of times. It’s so insanely catchy. The rock(?) music that comes in to cut Charlie off? Also this song nails in the fact even more than Adam SUCKS. And while this is happening we are delivered the logic behind the angel’s choices- explicitly saying “yeah we don’t care. Murder is fun :)” AND are given the information about major conflict of season- that the extermination day for moved up.
5. Respectless- got brain worms from this. The way Velvette dropped in and changed the whole genre of the song was A W E S O M E. Her and Carmilla both SLAPPED. Also the line “I’m the backbone of the Vees” was just- I just loved the energy of the song. Major Six vibes. I’d love Lilli Cooper to sing more in the show!
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menuliso · 6 months
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i actually think i have some sort of brain damage from chapter 403 because now ive taken my bkdk obsession to a whole new degree. like, i was insane before, but now i feel as if i should be genuinely put into an asylum.
ive gone through a full on awakening.
before this chapter i refused to believe that bkdk would become canon/hinted bc like its wishful thinking. but now? ive fallen into the fucking deep end. i am of full belief that bkdk will become canon or at least be hinted bc horikoshi is cooking something and im so glad im not the only one to see it.
there is no way that man doesnt know what hes doing. bkdks entire arc has been fucking perfect and this man just keeps BUILDING UP. like all this talk about feelings, and how bkdk have never really spoken about them to eachother before??? this is like, building up to a fucking love confession i swear, because katsuki DIED for izuku, and izuku cant control his heart when it comes to katsuki, and like… what other explaination is there? atp i consider it canon that theyre in love with each other.
and the other most likely ship that i thought was gonna be canon, izuocha, just is not feasible. its not like i dislike the ship, no hate to it at all, but making it canon would be so fucking harmful to izuku and ochakos characters and we dont talk about that enough. it would a dissapointing, flat conclusion with barely any build up and itd be the bland, predictable formula. like, ochako has already basically wrapped up her thing with izuku with that entire fight with toga. shes admitted herself that her crush on izuku was more admiration than anything of massive substance. and dont even get me started on izuku. barring some fluster and embarrassed blushing in the early seasons, this boy has NOT reciprocated AT ALL. its actually ridiculous. izuku has been focused on like, two things only: hero work, and kacchan. izuku does not show ANY romantic feeling to ochako whatsoever.
surely, surely if horikoshi were to make this canon, he’d put in a little more effort? add some more chemistry, more development, more than just ‘boy meets girl. blush and get shy. little crush. get married. the end’?
that is bad storytelling, and horikoshi is anything but a bad storyteller. this guy adds foreshadowing YEARS before the chapter. horikoshi is INSANE when it comes to character + relationship + plot development. if horikoshi throws all that out the way, and makes izuocha canon, id be extremely, extremely disappointed. not because i hate the ship, but because itd be out of nowhere, disregard practically ALL development, and be nauseatingly dissatisfying.
talking of which, for the entire day ive been thinking about the foreshadowing for bkdk.
there. is. so. fucking. much. it feels like everytime i read like a new section of the manga, their relationship is described in the most frutti tutti rainbow gay way. im sorry, shigafo, did you just say that katsuki is closer to izuku than ANYONE else? excuse me, aizawa, did you just describe them as pair, a pair that the class revolves around? dont even mention the shit that izuku and katsuki say referring to each other. i cant even choose one to add in here, but every out of context bkdk quote has like these SEVERE more-than-platonic undertones, especially when you consider their past and their development. i feel like horikoshi has been doing some fucking insane foreshadowing for something MORE.
yk, i keep on thinking about how in the double spread in 403, the words ‘the beginning’ are displayed right over bkdk, as they find each other. call me delusional, but that has to be on purpose. i also keep on thinking about izukus green and orange gloves in so many official arts, and the light in both their eyes when they see each other, and the way theyre both always observing the other, never speaking about how they feel directly.
their relationship is just so, so……. and i feel like the only next step is for them to talk. just. fucking. talk. its been hinted at for so long, and horikoshi is doing SOMETHING.
them simply being together would be the most satisfying, developed, beautiful ending.
if they arent canon, i will die. ill say it now. bkdk canon. there is too much proof. as a writer, i know for a fact that i write everything for a REASON. why would horikoshi write this, if he wasn’t going to do anything with it?
bkdk will be canon. i dont care if i sound insane, or get proved entirely wrong. i now fully believe that the last page of the manga will be bkdk at a theme park eating crepes.
thank you chapter 403 for driving me off the rails.
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theprettynosferatu · 2 months
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“I hate you so much”, she said. “I fucking despise you. You are the worst kind of person to ever blight this world and if I could, I would stomp you like the roach you are”. Her words were most certainly strong; however, they were somewhat undermined by her smile, by the sensual, almost dance-like movements of her body as she removed her top.
“I am well aware”, he said, reclining on the sofa.
“You have no idea. You fucking ruined my life, you piece of shit” she said before biting her lips in a perfect picture of lust. 
“And yet here you are. Again”
“You know damn well why I’m here, you monster”
He did. That was part of the charm of the whole affair. 
Her hatred for him had been long held, and nurtured lovingly for nearly a decade. In college, she took an instant dislike for his jokes and remarks, which she felt, rightly, to be sexist and dumb. As they matured politically, they found themselves staring at each other from opposite ends of the spectrum. As they entered professional life, her intelligence and skill propelled her well above him, a sin he could never overlook. It was an animosity as strong as true love, as enduring as the sun. And yet she looked at him with the tender eyes of a willing lover as she went to her knees.
It was true. She hated him. But she hated herself more. Or, more precisely, she hated how much her body adored him, how deeply it needed him. His… Every inch of her skin tingled in anticipation, and she realized how seductively she moved even despite her hardest efforts to stop it. It wasn’t her, she tried to remind herself. It was that damn… thing. Her breath came in short, panting bursts. Her eyes fixed on the bulge in his pants. She desperately wanted to blame some sort of mind control, of hypnosis, of strange, sci-fi implant in her brain for how pathetic she was being, and how delicious her pussy felt, eager with anticipation. Sadly, she knew better. She knew what would happen the second she saw his cock. Hell, she could almost smell it and it made her drool. And there was no magic behind it, no esoteric mystery driving her actions.
It was chemistry. She knew it as well as he did. She knew exactly how he had turned her into… this. She knew why her body loved it. She knew it wasn’t love. She realized, consciously, she was simply… fiending. Addicted. A victim of chemical dependency and his fucked up expolitation of her situation.
He always loved this part. When her eyes retained some defiance, her absolute hatred of him was on full display, her disgust with her own actions hidden behind a teasing smile, a bite of her lips. Her body was performing because it had learned exactly what he liked, how to get the drug it needed from him quickly… and the woman behind that body was trapped between her need and her true feelings. It was a delicious mix, especially because they both knew he could destroy her with a simple act, and there was nothing she could do about it. He could tell she was almost shaking, resisting the urge to rip off his pants- an urge he had trained her to resist simply by denying her what she craved most when she gave into it. 
Cum. His cum. 
She couldn’t help but blame herself. She had done the research, seeking to understand addiction in order to help people, analyzing how the brain reacted to different patterns of rewards and even chemicals… only for him to use all that and turn it against her. And she knew in one second all of it wouldn’t matter to her one bit.
He smiled. She was beautiful, no doubt about it- her jet-black hair, her big, dark eyes, her generous figure… but that wasn’t what attracted him the most. No, it was the way her brain shut off completely as soon as she saw the object of her obsession. That split second when she tried to fight it, when she hated herself for failing, and then…
It only took a single look, and her brain was flooded. Cock. His cock. His beautiful, perfect, delicious cock… Her mouth watered, her body started shaking as the last of her self-control gave way to the animalistic, primal need to…
Perfect. So perfect. The taste. The way she could feel the blood flowing through its veins. It’s strong, conquering hardness. Why would she ever fight against this? Why would she ever think of anything but feeling it in her mouth, taking it deep inside her throat, licking it adoringly? It grew and grew in her mind, pushing everything else away. Her job. Her dignity. Her family. Those things seemed so trivial, so miniscule next to the sensation this cock gave her, as if it made every inch of her skin as sensitive as her clit, her mind a raging inferno and yet perfectly calm: it made sense to worship. It made sense to love this cock. It was just… her place.
Every now and then she fought back. “I hate you”, she would say before moaning and taking him in her mouth, using her tongue to pry moans of pleasure from him, which in turn made her shiver. His pleasure was her pleasure, because his pleasure was a herald of the reward to come. “I hate you so much”, spoken with the loving tenderness of a schoolgirl declaring her love to her first crush. 
For a moment she thought of her husband, her daughter. She hated the way this cock made her feel. Hated that she loved it so much more than her family. Hated them for not letting her live in constant worship of the big, perfect cock. Hated herself for thinking it. Hated how good it felt to think about it. Hated how her pussy soaked her panties without it being touched.
“I hate you so much…” she didn’t mean it. Not anymore, not at that moment. But she knew he loved to hear her say it. Loved the power his cock had over her. And she needed to make him cum. Needed to taste it. Needed to swallow it. “You ruined me… you made me into a cock-addicted whore… your whore…”
He was close. She could feel it. Her entire body tensed up, ready to give in completely. “I hate that I love you…”
It happened. Her mind went blank as she swallowed every drop, convulsing in an orgasm that was more than just an orgasm: it was the fulfillment of her purpose, it was heaven and an embrace and complete, perfect peace. It was happiness. It was true love.
He watched her smile on the ground. This made it all worth it: the experiments, injecting himself to make his cum the most addictive substance on Earth… the most powerful of drugs. She was in complete ecstasy. Sure, it would last maybe an hour and she’d go back to hating him. But that wouldn’t last long. Sooner rather than later her body would need him again. She would shake. She would be unable to think of anything else. 
Yes, she would hate him. But addiction was stronger than hate. 
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bvidzsoo · 5 months
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Lust we both share
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◆Vampire!Seonghwa◆
TW: cursing, blood, suggestive
◆Read this before reading this one or else it won't make much sense, trust me◆
Word count: 6,1k
A/N: I have no idea what to call this lol, a drabble? I really don't know, but I swear to God ever since I've written that request for Halloween (@seonghwasbobaeyes repectfully this is your fault haha, so uhm, I hope you enjoy the short part 2?) this Seonghwa has been plaguing my mind and yesterday I decided, why not, I'll write some more and see what happens lol. I might write one more part like this one, short since I don't want to turn it into a full story. Lol, I hope y'all enjoy it! Feedback is appreciated!
1. Moroi-are born vampires, imbued with the magic to have power over the elements;
2. Dhampir-are half-human, half-vampires who are born to protect the Moroi. Don't have elemental magic, but have enhanced strength and senses making them the strongest protection against the Strigoi;
3. Strigoi- are the type of vampires that one would expect from an old horror classic
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           Everything went back to normal after we returned from the one-week long test. Seonghwa continued being his usual self, arrogant, and awfully annoying. And I continued ignoring him as best as I could and making fun of his existence behind his back. Seeing him everywhere I went suddenly became even more infuriating compared to before the whole test, and I couldn’t decide whether I was paying more attention to Seonghwa now or if he was everywhere on purpose. His words held an unsaid promise, ‘One or two won’t, indeed’, and I couldn’t help but feel on edge almost all the time. For some unexplainable reason, I expected him to show up in the middle of the night and suck my blood dry, leaving me dead in my own bed, only to be found in the morning when Seonghwa has already had time to flee and cover his tracks. It didn’t help that I started having nightmares too with him showing up when I least expected it, when my guard was down, his eyes crimson red and face smeared with blood, face oddly pale. It looked like Seonghwa, yet at the same time it didn’t. He didn’t look like his usual self in the nightmares, and sometimes it made me ponder that, perhaps, I wasn’t seeing the Seonghwa I knew. The moroi Seonghwa, but a strigoi turned Seonghwa. That thought didn’t sit well with me and it also scared me. When did I start caring about his safety? Was that one week spent with him long enough to mess with the chemistry of my brain? Or was this the doing of his vampire venom? Was I already addicted? Was my body craving for more? I couldn’t decide, nor quite understand my own thoughts and wants, and that scared me. It’s not like I could go and talk to Kazuha about it, a moroi drinking from a dhampir was strictly forbidden, and no matter how tight and close our friendship with Kazuha was, I knew she’d snitch on me to the Principal the second she was out of my sight. I knew she loved me, but she followed the rules quite strictly and anything which went against them and she caught whiff of it would be reported immediately. And besides, I just simply couldn’t talk about it. A dhampir offering up their blood willingly was…something like prostitution. I would be called a blood-whore. Everyone would look down on me and cast me out. I wasn’t afraid of being on my own, but I couldn’t allow such thing happening in my last year at the Academy, right before graduation on top of it all. Three more months and I would be free. Three more months and I wouldn’t have to see Seonghwa’s face ever again. Or that’s what I thought.
As I walked down the fancy corridor, headed towards the Principal’s office, all kinds of thoughts ran through my mind. Perhaps he found out I was the one who pulled that prank yesterday in hand-to-hand combat class. Or perhaps Jennie finally told on me to the Principal that I always pick on her. Or perhaps someone spread another obnoxious rumor about me. Or perhaps…everything was fucked because the Principal somehow found out what Seonghwa and I had done while we were away. Did Seonghwa have it in him to tell anyone about it? I knew he liked to boast about anything he could, but this…this thing was serious. It would ruin my life, but it could taint his own reputation too. He wouldn’t say anything about it, right?
I sighed and stopped abruptly in front of the Principal’s office; door wide open. Great, I couldn’t even collect my thoughts before I stepped inside. He was a moroi, so he has already heard me approaching, he swiftly glanced up and beckoned me inside. I tried to remain calm, aware that he could hear my heartbeat and would instantly pick up on it. I didn’t want to give myself away if perhaps I wasn’t called here for facing the repercussions of my actions.
“Good evening, Miss Lee.” The Principal said with a smile and I nodded, sitting down across from him. His desk was huge and made of oak, it looked extremely expensive, but when the Academy had good funds, I guess he could afford it, “How have you been? Haven’t had to call you to the office in quite a while.”
I chuckled, rubbing my hands together to distract myself, suddenly my heartbeat picking up. Don’t panic, he seems to be in a good mood, “I have been behaving, Mr. Yoon. I’m doing quite fine lately, stressed about the graduation.”
The Principal hummed, rubbing his chin as if he was confused, “Good thing you brought that up. It’s why I called you here to talk.”
Fuck, what about it? I cleared my throat and my body suddenly tensed, but I leaned back in the chair, trying to look nonchalant about it.
“You know Park Seonghwa—it would be hard no to—” The Principal’s eyebrows suddenly rose as my heart somersaulted, and I cursed myself for reacting so quickly. I cleared my throat and looked away embarrassed, avoiding eye contact as the man grinned at me. Why was he bringing Seonghwa up? Did he know? Did he somehow find out? Did Seonghwa tell him?, “I see hearing his voice alone makes you quite—angry.”
For someone who could hear my heartbeat and pick up on body language, the Principal misread my reaction quite badly. It made me chuckle as I tried acting like I was angry, since that’s what the Principal thought I was feeling like, “Yes, well, everyone knows how I feel about Seonghwa.”
“Indeed,” The Principal chuckled and quickly became serious soon after, “well, you might have to work on your differences with Mr. Park, because he requested for you to be his guardian after graduation—”
“What?!” I nothing but shouted as I sprung up to my feet, feeling angry for real now, mouth hanging open, “He did what?!”
The Principal only looked amused as he stared at me, waiting for me to sit down, but I couldn’t. My blood was boiling and my muscles were tense, I couldn’t sit still. So, I walked behind the chair and started pacing up and down, chewing on my lower lip as the Principal chuckled again, way too amused by my dismay.
“I see you left a deep impression on him during that one week of testing, Miss Lee, it’s impressive.” The Principal started, face coated in surprise, “He came in very determined and confident today, formular about his request in his hands and already completed. He even kept a long speech about how serious you were about your duties and how safe he felt with you, never having to look over his shoulder or fear for his life. Everyone knows you’re an exceptional student at the Academy, Miss Lee, even if a little bit mischievous, but Mr. Park’s words were a rather pleasant surprise. I’m very pleased to see you evolve into a mature and responsible dhampir, and I can’t wait to forward the request to the Queen—”
“No!” I exclaimed, looking at the Principal wide-eyed, “What—what if I refuse his request?”
“You know you can’t do that.” The Principal reminded me of the protocol, I knew that, but I really didn’t want to become Seonghwa’s guardian. Spending one week with him was one thing, but spending who knows how many years with him would be pure torture, “At least not until you have guarded him for five years. After that you’re free to decide whether you want to continue guarding him or change to someone else.”
“Can’t I decide right now that I don’t want to guard him for the next five years, Mr. Yoon?” I asked defeated, closing my eyes and running my hands through my hair. This was really bad. It didn’t help that my hair was all knotted up from the wind and I pulled on the tangled strands painfully with my fingers, adding only fuel to my anger. I really couldn’t deal with anything right now.
“I’m afraid not, Miss Lee,” The Principal chuckled as if I had said the joke of the year, “Thank you for coming tonight, though, a special request like this hasn’t been done in decades at our Academy. The Queen will certainly be proud of you, there’s few female dhampirs and to have you so talented and dedicated is indeed something to be proud of.”
I couldn’t care less about the Queen and what she thought about me, this was horrible. Suddenly, I didn’t want to graduate anymore, “Am I dismissed?”
“Of course, go enjoy your night, Miss Lee—” I turned and basically sprinted towards the door, but the Principal called out, “Not too much, though, I know about the party!”
That was least of my problems right now as I stormed down the hallways, headed for my shared dorm with Kazuha. Perhaps getting called to the Principal’s office for misbehaving suddenly sounded so much better than for what I got called in just right now. I couldn’t believe Seonghwa followed through with his words just because I let him taste my sweet blood. God, I am such an idiot, if I never allowed him to drink from me this would’ve never happened. I did this to myself, and I couldn’t help but feel desperation crawl all over my body and rage fill my veins as I saw red, Seonghwa’s name like a chant echoing through my mind, wishing for nothing more than to put a dagger through his heart.
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            Kazuha wasn’t in our room when I had returned, which made my state worsen as I threw everything off my desk, screaming and punching my least favorite pillow for five minutes straight. I wasn’t always good at managing my anger, that’s why I was so good at training classes. I channeled all the pent-up rage and frustration into fighting, beating everyone, even the largest and strongest dhampirs at our Academy. Despite wanting to scream for longer, our next-door neighbor banged on the shared wall and shouted for me to shut up and go for a walk, making me scream back a fuck you, before I stormed inside the bathroom and took a cold shower, wallowing in nothing but despair as I refused to cry. I wouldn’t cry about something like this, all I had to do was find a way to sabotage myself of being Seonghwa’s guardian, but not the point that I wouldn’t be able to guard anyone else. Perhaps if I incriminate him with something forbidden I could get rid of him, but these thoughts were currently pushed to the back of my mind as Kazuha and I were huddled together in a quieter corner of the room, with me retelling everything the Principal has said. She was tipsy, but she paid close attention, her eyes wide and mouth open as she ignored a guy who tried pulling her towards the drinks table. I cast him a glare before he hurried off, sending me nasty looks that I didn’t bother to care about.
“Are you serious about Seonghwa wanting you to be his guardian?” Kazuha repeated for the third time, and frankly, I was getting fed up.
“Yes! If you ask once more, I swear to God, I will punch you.” I threatened and Kazuha laughed.
“I’m just too shocked to accept reality—and perhaps tipsy too, but—this sounds like a nightmare for you, Y/N, I’m really sorry.” She said with a pout and patted my arm, feeling sympathetic for me. I scoffed and crossed my arms, my grip around the red cup tightening.
“Sounds like a nightmare for me? Doesn’t it for everyone?!” I exclaimed, but it went unnoticed as the music was blasting through the speakers loudly and everyone around us was busy with whatever they were doing.
“I hate to break it to you, sweetie, but the other dhampirs at our Academy would kill to get to be Seonghwa’s guardian. He’s filthy rich and will most likely inherit his father’s business, meaning you won’t ever have to overwork yourself as he will sit in a fucking office chair, doing nothing all day long. And on top of that, his family doesn’t live in a moroi community, so you won’t have to worry about seeing a strigoi too often, Y/N, you quite literally hit the jackpot with him.” Kazuha’s voice sounded slightly tinged with jealousy, but I knew it was the alcohol making her feel like that, “Imagine if you got paired up with San, who likes hiking, and lives in a remote area somewhere in the mountains! Y/N, that’s literally where nests of strigois live, I’d rather die than spend the next five years with San—or Wooyoung, for that matter! Jesus, that guy never shuts up—”
“Speaking of the devil!” I groaned as Wooyoung bounced over, two red cups in his hands.
“Here you two were!” Kazuha and I turned to look at Wooyoung quite unimpressed, his mouth pulled into a lazy smile, quite obvious that he was drunk off his ass.
“Wooyoung, I told you to leave me alone—” Kazuha started, but Wooyoung pressed one cup against her lips, making her cringe away from the strong smell of whatever alcohol he had mixed in there.
“Baby, did you forget about our bet?” Suddenly, Wooyoung’s lips pulled up into a smirk and a dangerous glint appeared in his eyes. I looked at Kazuha with a questioning glance, having not heard of this up until now. Kazuha looked uncomfortable for a second as she glanced back at me and then sighed.
“Fine, lead the way.” She muttered, but thanks to Wooyoung’s heightened senses, he heard her and chuckled, turning around to lead the way to wherever they were headed. I raised my eyebrows at Kazuha as she glanced back at me with a pout, but she only shook her head, meaning that she’d explain later. I watched as my best friend walked off with the moroi she had to protect during the week of testing, her shoulders pulled back and strut straight, signs of her tipsiness all gone. I shook my head and downed the rest of my drink, needing a refill immediately. I had to stop thinking about Seonghwa and the request.
            After some dancing and chit chatting with other dhampirs from my classes, somehow, I found myself involved into a truth or dare game. Ten of us sat in a circle and spun the bottle, daring each other stupid and outrageous things, hollering with laughter whenever someone said or did something stupid. I was positively drunk by now, but I was aware of what was happening around me and to me. It’s why I decided to be the boring one for the first time while playing this game, and opted to only take truths. My hyper senses were dim due to the alcohol, and it was hard to keep up with everyone around me, not as alert as I usually would be. It’s why I didn’t notice Seonghwa sneaking up behind me as I had stood up, ass numb from sitting for so long, stretching out my legs. The question I had to answer was, “Have you ever done something forbidden, and if yes, what was it?”
“Forbidden as in—school level forbidden or—by law forbidden?” I asked with a smirk and the guy who asked me previously shouted out that ‘law forbidden’. I hummed and shrugged, pretending to think about it for a moment.
“Nope, I might do stupid shit but I’m not that dumb—” The chuckle got caught in my throat as an arm sneaked around my middle and a chest was pressed against my back. I didn’t have time to freeze or to even throw the other person over my shoulder before a hot breath hit my neck, cold lips pressing lightly against my ear.
“Are you sure about that, love?” My body went rigid, breath catching in my throat. After Seonghwa drank my blood we haven’t spoken as I did everything I could to avoid him, and he seemed fine with that, not particularly fond of spending his time with me.
“Get off.” I snapped and wrestled myself out of his iron grip, heart beating franticly and throat dry all of a sudden. Silence settled upon the group I was playing with as they watched us curiously, expecting a fight as it often happened when Seonghwa and I talked to each other. He seemed so smug as he stared me down, pink hair slicked back, and white shirt unbuttoned until the middle of his chest, showing off his milky and flawless skin. I scowled at him, fighting the urge of punching the smirk off his face.
“Playing without me?” He suddenly addressed the group, looking at them boredly. I rolled my eyes and collected my cardigan from where I had been sitting, wearing it as I had no intention of continuing playing the game with Seonghwa here. With the alcohol in my system nobody could stop me from beating his ass up.
“Wanna join?” Someone very drunk called out from the group and Seonghwa shrugged one shoulder, not looking too interested as his eyes fell back on me.
“Leaving so soon?” He asked, taking in my attire as his eyes ran up and down my body. Despite being fully covered and dressed, I was wearing black jeans, a black crop top and now the velvety cardigan, I felt exposed under his gaze. I could’ve sworn his eyes flashed crimson for a second, but perhaps it was a trick of the party lights around us.
“I’m not in the mood to see your face tonight, Seonghwa—”
“Pity,” He hummed, fake pouting, “I really wanted to run over some clauses our contract will contain once we both graduate—”
“Fuck you, Seonghwa,” My blood was boiling again, and thanks to the alcohol, I found myself all up in his face, glaring up at him furiously, “I will do anything I can to stop it from happening.”
Seonghwa’s eyes slightly narrowed, his icy long fingers suddenly wrapped around my wrist. Why was he so cold? And why did the corner of his lips look slightly red? Like something was smudged. Did he—just come back from feeding? The sudden tinge of my cheeks made me curse myself, and I hated how my heart picked up just from the thought of it. I felt dirty.
“That’s a pity, Y/N, my mother already spoke to the Queen about it, and she was delighted to hear such amazing news.” My jaw clenched and I yanked my wrist out of his grip, storming past him as our shoulders crashed together, leaving me fuming.
            I did everything I could to avoid Seonghwa at the party, and so, that led me to dancing almost the whole time. I was feeling the music and the vibes as I moved to the beat of the music, even found some random dhampir to make out with. As long as we didn’t do anything stupid, it was fine. A dhampir shouldn’t mingle with a dhampir, but we were only enjoying ourselves, it wasn’t anything serious. But I started feeling tired after a while and decided to take a breather. I sauntered over to the bathroom to freshen up a little bit, only to talk to myself in the mirror when I saw my reflection. Drunk me was rather funny as I scolded myself for drinking too much, suddenly remembering that I hadn’t seen Kazuha since she walked off with Wooyoung. Did they even come back? Finding her became my next mission, and so I was walking around the place, looking for my best friend. My head was spinning and if I wanted to see the people’s faces clearly I had to lean in very close, getting weird looks and glares as I did so. Turns out finding Kazuha was harder than I thought. Then, I realized that I should probably peek inside some rooms around the place where the party was held, we were on the side of the campus which wasn’t used anymore. But my plan might’ve not been the smartest idea as I saw some unwanted things, but still no sight of Kazuha. There was one more room I had to check before I would head back to the party, and when I pushed the door open, I realized it must’ve once been a study room as it held three desks and chairs, the room coated in darkness. There was nobody inside. But before I could walk away, I was pushed forward and I stumbled inside the room, almost losing my footing as I gripped onto the chair, startled. I gasped and turned around sharply, having to squeeze my eyes shut for a few seconds from how badly my head started thumping. The person inside didn’t turn on the lights, and as I opened my eyes, I took in the man standing in front of me. I could see well in the dark, and I could recognize that silhouette anywhere. I groaned as I went to push Seonghwa out of the way and walk out the small room, but his arm shoot out, making me run into it. I threw him a glare, but he just looked down at me with an unreadable expression on his face.
“What are you doing?” I snapped, jaw clenching as Seonghwa leaned to the left, where his hand was, and narrowed his eyes at me.
“I saw you wandering around mindlessly—”
“I wasn’t wandering around mindlessly,” I scoffed, “I’m looking for Kazuha.”
“She’s busy with Wooyoung, no need to look for her.” Seonghwa said nonchalantly and I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Do you know what’s happening?” I asked accusingly and he shrugged, removing his hand from the wall and blocking my path with his body now.
“They are probably fucking, love, that’s what’s happening.” My face pulled up into disgust. I desperately hoped the bet didn’t have to do anything with that outcome.
“Great, you can fuck off then.” I muttered with a fake smile, but when I tried sidestepping Seonghwa, he blocked my path again.
“Not so fast, Y/N, we have some catching up to do.” Seonghwa said with a smirk, stepping closer, making me step back. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked at him, feeling unsure all of a sudden. What did he want? Why was he here?
“No, we don’t.” My voice was firm, but Seonghwa just chuckled as he reached out for me, holding me by the waist as he pulled me into his body. The breath caught in my throat as his body heat warmed me up, his sweet scent intoxicating. His eyes were rimmed with eyeliner and I gulped as they flashed crimson, red swirling in his irises. Could he…want something from me? At that thought my heartbeat picked up and Seonghwa inhaled deeply, closing his eyes momentarily, flustering me. His plush lips parted, and when he opened his eyes again, his eyes were a deep red, almost glowing in the darkness. I didn’t feel scared, even though I should’ve as his features turned hungry, menacing even.
“You smell so fucking sweet it makes me lose my mind.” He let out a long breath, leaning down and nuzzling his nose against my neck. I grew stiff, mouth parting as my breathing picked up, memories of that night returning. Seonghwa said nothing else as his hot breath fanned my neck, covering my skin in goosebumps as I gripped his bicep with my right hand.
“I don’t—you can’t—” I didn’t know what I wanted to say, I didn’t know what to do. My body felt hot and electrified by Seonghwa’s proximity, yearning for something more. But we couldn’t let that happen again. It was a mistake the first time too. Seonghwa hummed in understanding, perhaps thoughts straying in the same direction as mine, and instead, I felt his warm lips press feather like kisses up to my jaw. My grip tightened around his bicep as he pulled his head back, staring into my eyes as his own flashed between red and their usual brown.
“I know we can’t.” He whispered and then perhaps we both moved at the same time, but our lips were pressing against each other as I leaned up on my tiptoes, Seonghwa’s head ducked down to reach my height. My arms wrapped around his neck and his hands around my middle as he pulled me into himself, mouths hungry as they moved against each other passionately. I couldn’t help but breathe in his scent, nose pressed against his cheek as Seonghwa’s lips pressed bruisingly against mine, eager for more. He walked me backwards until my legs hit the desk and I was climbing up on it, Seonghwa’s hands guiding me. His hands gripped my cheeks and fingers dug into my skin painfully as he sucked on my lower lip, making me hiss when he wouldn’t release it. He was trying to draw blood and I yanked my head back, glaring at him. He stood between my legs and one of my finger’s hooked against his belt as Seonghwa pressed closer, lean body pushing against mine. He tilted my head back, biting my earlobe and slowly kissing down from there to my collarbone, making me let out long sighs, my grip on his hip tightening when he sucked harder on the juncture between my neck and shoulder, finding my sweet spot. I moaned quietly as Seonghwa’s tongue licked at the mark, his teeth suddenly biting down against my skin. I jumped and body tensed in reaction, ready to fling him off myself, but his fangs never shirked and no pain followed. He was probably fighting against his own urges, trying to control himself. I pulled his head back and Seonghwa’s jaw was clenched as we stared at each other, his breathing ragged as he looked like he hadn’t drunk blood in years. It didn’t bring as much dread as I expected it to, but my heartbeat picked up again and Seonghwa quickly crashed his lips against mine, kissing me hungrily as his tongue pushed past my lips and I sucked on it, making Seonghwa moan into my mouth, sending an electric shock through my body. I pulled his body closer as our tongues danced together, lapping at each other’s mouths, Seonghwa’s body just as affected by our actions as mine as my hand briefly brushed against his semi-hard on. I kissed him back more eagerly, more messily, making Seonghwa groan into my mouth as suddenly his hand was gripping my neck firmly, pushing me backwards. I allowed him to do so, my back arching as his free hand was placed on the small of my back, flushing our lower bodies together. My hips moved on its own as heat pooled up in my lower stomach, needing some friction as Seonghwa groaned, his own hips grinding down against mine, making me grip onto his pink locks tightly as he sucked on my lower lip harshly again.
“You have to stop doing that—” I panted out, words cut off as Seonghwa ground against me again, harsher this time. These clothes on us were getting frustrating and I felt Seonghwa’s grip on my throat tighten as I went to undo his belt.
“Not tonight,” He choked out, gripping my wrist harshly, making me hiss. But I didn’t listen to him as I palmed him through his pants, his grip around my neck close to cutting off my air, perhaps that would bruise by tomorrow, “Not tonight, love, I’m on the brink of losing control.”
My jaw was clenched as I allowed Seonghwa to take my hand away and pin it against the table, “Fuck, I hate you. Why would you start something you can’t finish—”
“If you want me to suck you dry while I fuck your brains out, then by all means, Y/N, let’s keep going.” His voice was hard as he snapped and I finally opened my eyes, looking up into his crimson red ones. I didn’t think his eyes could darken anymore further, but the look on his face made fear root deep into my bones. My senses kicked in, and suddenly, my hand was around his wrist which was holding my neck, muscles tense as I calculated the best way to free myself without doing much damage to him. Seonghwa sensed my change in demeanor and loosened his grip on me, but still didn’t let go.
“I don’t plan on killing you, you can relax.”
“Yeah, well it doesn’t feel like it right now.” I snapped, eyes narrowed as Seonghwa chuckled and the grip from my neck disappeared as he instead held my chin with his thumb and forefinger, raising my chin up. He stared down at me with a smirk, amusement twinkling in his eyes.
“Despite your body sensing danger you’re still here in my arms, enjoying whatever I’m doing to you, don’t you?” I couldn’t help but glare at him and slap his hand away, head clearing enough to realize I was just about to have sex with Seonghwa had he not stopped us. I felt even more hatred towards him as I yanked my other hand out from underneath his as pushed him back by his chest, but Seonghwa didn’t budge. How was I weaker than him? That was impossible. Seonghwa just chuckled and leaned down, resting his hands on both sides of my knees.
“I like to play the damsel in distress, love, but it doesn’t mean I’m actually one.” His words were mocking, and suddenly, I realized I had no idea who Seonghwa was. Well, who the real Seonghwa was. I gulped as I watched him reach out and pull a strand of hair behind my ear, tilting my head up as he leaned down and pressed a long kiss against my lips. I didn’t react at first, but when he deepened it, my mouth opened automatically and I was back to making out with him, the pace a lot slower this time and more sensual. My heart was racing and body jittery all over again, but this kiss didn’t last for long as he suddenly pulled back, eyebrows furrowed.
“Why did you let me drink your blood?” He suddenly whispered; voice strained. I gulped, but my mouth felt dry as I realized I didn’t have a real reason other than a very dumb one.
“I—I was curious—” When Seonghwa’s eyes opened, I felt ashamed of myself, “I was curious of what it felt like.”
Despite expecting him to call me names, his jaw just clenched and his eyes flashed red again, “I should have known better. We made a mistake, Y/N, I—I can’t feed off of humans like before anymore. Their blood isn’t enough—the taste, it’s terrible.”
My eyes widened as I gaped at Seonghwa, trying to understand what this meant. But I really couldn’t, I didn’t know how morois worked, I didn’t know what would happen next or what he was supposed to do to fix the situation. Despite knowing better, the words tumbled out of my mouth before I could think more, much like last time, “Are you hungry?”
Seonghwa froze for a second before he nodded his head rigidly, jaw clenching as his eyes fell onto my neck, “Starved.”
My breath caught in my throat and our eyes connected as I chewed on my bottom lip, body flaming at the memory of what his bite felt like. My mind was suddenly silenced and all I could think about was the feeling of his fangs as they started sucking my blood, making me gasp. I couldn’t be already addicted to his venom; it would be too soon. But was it possible that Seonghwa would get addicted to my blood? I’ve never read about such thing before. As Seonghwa let out a long sigh I pushed my hair behind my shoulders, and bared my neck for him. He huffed, but his finger ran along my skin, his eyes seemingly mesmerized by the action.
“Seonghwa—” His name came out in a throaty breath and before we could think more, his mouth parted and his fangs poked through, head leaning closer and closer to my neck. My body tensed when his breath hit my skin and I leaned my head further back as he pressed a soft kiss against my skin, much like last time, teeth clamping down on my skin, fangs pushing deep inside my flesh. I yelped and my grip on the table tightened until my knuckles turned white as the pain lasted longer this time, Seonghwa took his time before he started sucking, before his venom spread through my bloodstream. His cold fangs felt very uncomfortable and I whined as my neck went numb, on the verge of asking him to stop, but then suddenly, I felt him sucking on my blood, a hand coming up to hold the side of my face. Seonghwa moaned loudly when my blood entered his system and I sighed as suddenly my head felt fuzzy and mind empty, jitters all over my body as goosebumps covered my skin. The warmth was back in my body, heath pooling in my stomach, as Seonghwa drank more, pushing his fangs even down deeper, making my mouth open in a silent mewl, feeling like his fangs touched a nerve as pleasure exploded in my body, vision blurred and eyelids heavy as my brain felt fogged up. If it weren’t for Seonghwa holding my head, it would’ve fallen back, and his grip tightened when suddenly my body softened, momentarily having lost feeling of all of my muscles, dark spots covering my vision. He was drinking too much, my body wouldn’t hold on for too long as I went numb against him, unable to speak or pull away. But Seonghwa knew what he was doing and suddenly stopped, fangs still in my muscle, breathing hard against my skin. My head started spinning even worse than before as the dark spots very slowly cleared, and I hissed as he pulled back, cold fangs disappearing from my skin as his eyes glowed a light red in the darkness as he shook my head lightly.
“I’m—here.” I muttered, gulping multiple times, letting out a shaky breath as my body regained feeling, muscles tensing all of a sudden, brain on high alert as it pushed away the euphoric feeling. The crash from the high was worse this time as I felt nausea pool in my stomach and I gagged, slapping a hand against my mouth.
“Are you alright?” Seonghwa asked alarmed and I took a deep breath, fighting the urge of throwing up. I probably needed water. I have drank too much alcohol. I nodded wordlessly as Seonghwa helped me off the table, but supported my weight, “Alright, I’ll take you back to your dorm.”
“I can go on my own.” I muttered as my head spun harshly, forcing me to take deep breaths.
“No, you can’t.” Seonghwa rolled his eyes and suddenly I was up in the air and then secured in his arms, held bridal style. My eyebrows furrowed as I threw him a glare, but Seonghwa ignored me as he went to open the door, “I can’t decide if you’re about to fain or throw up, you clearly can’t walk.”
“You took too much this time.” I whispered as he hurried down the hallway, his longs legs allowing him to take long strides.
“I stopped in time.” Seonghwa’s jaw was clenched as he briefly glanced down at me, but I just shook my head.
“You still took too much.”
“The marks will be gone by noon.” He changed the subject as he walked out onto the courtyard, the crisp air of the early morning was refreshing and I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath.
“You have to fix your problem, because this won’t happen ever again.” I hoped Seonghwa understood, he had to. He could kill me anytime by accident. Or I could get addicted and then my whole life would be ruined. Or someone could find out and we’d be fucked, me, especially.
“I know, it won’t happen again.” Seonghwa was serious for once and we shared eye contact briefly before my body suddenly felt too exhausted, tried to even keep my eyes open as whispers of how this was a huge mistake lulled me a to dreamless and restless sleep.
Dread filled me as a voice whispered in my head that this wouldn’t be the last time this happened.
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