#my aunt came to visit us and my grandpa was also there and we were sitting in the garden

[crystalofmoon19]

Día de los Muertos (Day of Death) - Striker x Mexican Catrina Reader! 🌼🌹💀

POV: You invited your boyfriend, Striker, to the Día de Muertos celebration with your family. Striker doesn't know much about the holiday, luckily you were there to help him.

"So you're saying you don't celebrate Halloween, darlin'?"

"No, mi amor, I celebrate "El Día de Muertos" with my family."

"The what?"

"The Day of the Dead, as they usually call them on this side of Wrath."

"Oh yeah, The Day of Death, I've heard of that. Is it the day where they dress up like skeletons?"

"Those are called the catrinas and the catrines, mi amor."

Striker looked at you a little confused, to which you just laughed, you had invited your boyfriend to celebrate the "Day of the Dead" with your family. Your grandma was preparing the food together with your aunts and your mom, your dad was preparing the altar with your uncle, your younger siblings were playing while painting their faces like skulls and you and your siblings close to your age were decorating your home. Around him, more people came to see the wonderful altar that you and your family had made together.

Striker, although he had accepted your invitation to spend the night with you and your family, he was still confused about the holiday, he knew of its existence but did not understand the great background behind it.

Luckily you were there to help him.

"What do you want to know about "El Día de los Muertos", mi amor?" .- You said caressing Striker's cheek, which made him rattle his tail like a rattlesnake and laugh a little, you knew how to make your boyfriend happy when he was disconcerted.

"Well, sugarcube, I'd like to know what exactly you're celebrating? And why are you celebrating death?"

"You know what? I think I'd better show you! Come on, Striker! Do you want to see my family altars?" .- You took your boyfriend's hand and your eyes lit up like stars.

"I'd love to, darlin'. Besides, I can't say 'no' to your pretty face."

"Okay let's go!"

You led Striker running out of your house and took him to where your father and uncle were, they greeted you and your boyfriend, you told them that you were going to show Striker your family altar. To which your dad, a little distrustful of Striker, admitted that he doubted your idea, but in the end you convinced him to give in so your dad and your uncle left for a moment; although your father gave Striker a questioning look and made him adjust his hat a little nervously but you comforted him by taking his hand.

"Look, Striker, this is the tradition of the Día de los Muertos, the altar; here we place a photo of our relatives who have passed away and on this day it feels like they come to visit us. Because as long as we remember them, they will continue to live on our hearts!" .- You put your hand to your heart while you continued explaining.

"In addition to the photos, we place candles to light the way of their arrival, we put the cempasúchil flower..."

"The flower of what...?" .- Striker interrupted you, confused about the Spanish name of the flower, to which you just laughed.

"It's the marigold flower, Striker!"

"Oh, good. Go on, darlin'."

"The name of this flower means "twenty flowers" or "several flowers." Its yellow color made our ancestors associate it with the sun. That is why they always placed them in their offerings!" .- You explained, putting a cempasúchil flower in your hair and smiled. Now Striker had no doubt that you were a radiant sunshine in his eyes.

"We also place typical food of the festival such as bread of the dead, tamales, hot chocolate, candy skulls and the favorite food of the beloved one who has the altar. For example, my grandpa loved my grandma's enchiladas, that's why they're here! So you better not try to eat anything!" .- When you looked towards Striker, he was already about to take one of the snacks from the offering. His snake-like appetite may have gotten the better of him but you weren't going to allow him to eat anything.

"Striker!" .- Your hand slapped Striker's hand who was about to steal a candy skull.

"What? We can't waste food!"

"It's not wasted food if it's for those who come to visit us! Plus if you're hungry we can go eat, I'm sure my grandma already has the food ready."

And said and done, your grandma called everyone to eat, with this you indicated Striker to follow you to the dining room of your house. So when they entered, the table was full of delicious food, which included pozole (a broth seasoned with vegetables such as corn, chili and meat), mole (a sauce that is a combination of several types of sauces seasoned with chili peppers and spices), and tamales (food made from corn, filled with various ingredients, cooked in a package of vegetable leaves).

"Hey darlin'?"

"Si, mi amor?"

"Are you sure your family isn't from Gluttony, instead of Wrath?"

"Why do you ask, mi vida?"

"Because I see that you and your family eat a lot, and you have also served me a lot of food." .- Striker said, satisfied with his food but that he still had not been able to finish his plate. To which you just laughed.

"And wait until you eat the bread of the dead with the atole, mi amor."

"IS THERE STILL MORE?"

"Ay mijo, you are so thin, you should eat more!" .- This time your grandma spoke, serving Striker more pozole, which made him throw his head back, although she thanked your grandma for this. You just laughed softly.

"If you're not from Gluttony, then you must have like three stomachs, right?"

"Yeah, something like that." .- You said enjoying your food while your family also ate theirs. Although Striker still couldn't stop looking at the huge appetite your family had, he had seen many Wrath imps be hungry, but you and your family were on another level.

However, Striker did not mind this trait of you or your family, on the contrary he was grateful that your family was very warm to him (perhaps with the exception of your father) since they let him be there as part of one of them, He also felt that this had been one of the best meals he had had in a long time. There were days when he would only eat a can of beans or instant noodles for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and now having an entire feast with you and your family was something that had warmed his heart as well as his stomach.

So Striker took advantage of the fact that no one was looking to hold your hand under the table, which made your cheeks turn pink, and you also held his hand while they ate.

Later, when they finished eating, it was already starting to get dark and you told Striker to take care of your little brothers while you waited in the living room. Clearly the rattlesnake demon was quick to protest.

"Hey, I'm not gonna-!"

"Do it!" .- You gave Striker an angry look and how he already knew that if he didn't obey you it would end up with him sleeping on the couch for a week or more.

"Fine." .- The rattlesnake demon said resignedly as he watched you climb the stairs of your house in the company of your sisters.

"Just wait until I finish getting ready. I won't be long!" .- You told Striker until you went up to the second floor of your house. But Striker knew that when you said that, it was actually going to take a long time, so he just resigned himself to taking care of your little brothers while he waited.

Which wasn't an easy task, Striker wasn't one to take care of children, but your little brothers were getting on his nerves. Since they started running around the room and even though the cowboy scolded them not to do it, they did it anyway and one of them stole his hat.

"Give that, you little one!" .- Striker said annoyed while only your little brother made fun of him by sticking out his tongue and putting on his hat even though it was too big for him.

The only one who didn't seem to cause Striker any problems was your little sister, who was the youngest of the family, barely being about two years old, as soon as she had found Striker's leg she clung to his. For a second Striker calmed down a little for the baby, he even carried her to his chest, everything was fine until the baby started crying.

Striker complained loudly, he swore that he would be careful not to have as many children with you, at least in the amount that your parents had. He really felt that time flew by when he was taking care of your little siblings, although he was able to retrieve the hat from him he still wasn't enjoying this and when he was close to catching one of them that's when he saw you coming down the stairs. stairs.

You were dressed as a catrina, where you had made up your face as if it were a skull, you combed your black hair in a braid and you were wearing a red dress with an opening on your right leg that was decorated with yellow flowers very similar to the cempasúchil flower that decorated your entire outfit. You were also wearing red shoes along with a red hat that matched your dress and was decorated with flowers and pink feathers.

Striker when he saw you, his tail stood on end and his eyes widened when he saw how beautiful you were, you had practically left him speechless by your beauty.

"Y/N! You look so pretty!" .- One of your little brothers said when he saw you.

"Gracias." .- You thanked your little brother as you went down the stairs and headed towards where Striker was.

"How do I look, mi amor?"

"You look like a real angel in hell, darlin'." .- As soon as you approached him, Striker had taken your hand to kiss it, to which you laughed.

"Gracias, mi amor." .- You smiled at your boyfriend, who now approached to kiss you, but you stopped him with your hands while you laughed.

"Eww!" .- Your little brothers said in chorus for the show of affection.

"Not in front of my little siblings, Striker!"

"Why not? They are not your dad."

Without warning your dad appeared and stared at you and your boyfriend, this made Striker eat his own words and with that he distanced himself from you. You reassured your father that everything was fine and with a lot of effort on your part, you managed to get your father to leave you alone, with this done you had fun with Striker for the rest of the night.

There was a moment when you returned to your grandpa's altar, there you noticed that Striker behaved differently than usual, so you asked him what was happening. To which he in response tipped his hat to you.

"Is something wrong, mi amor?"

"I... I'm very grateful to you and your family for showing me the "Día de Muertos" holiday, did I say that right?" .- He asked you, seeking your approval in the pronunciation of his Spanish.

"Yes, that's fine."

"Well, I also enjoyed how well your family treated me, the delicious food I ate, and seeing you more beautiful than ever." .- He said caressing your cheek to which you smiled and took the hand he was caressing you with.

"Oh, mi amor, I'm glad to know that you liked the celebration."

"And I want to show you somethin' too, darlin'." .- He removed his hand from your face to take out a somewhat neglected photo from his jacket pocket and showed it to you.

At first you couldn't tell who it was, it didn't look like anyone you'd ever met, until when you looked closer at the photo you noticed that it was a snake demon. She was a young woman, with a green scale and snake fangs but she had white hair, when she saw her eyes that were an intense yellowish green you immediately knew how much the woman looked like Striker.

"Striker, is that your…?"

"Yes, that's my ma'." .- Striker answered you before you finished asking.

You looked closer and compared her to Striker, the resemblance was undeniable, you were sure that if Striker was a full snake demon she would completely resemble his mother.

"Mi amor, I haven't seen your mother before, what happened to her?" .- You tried to sound as soft as possible, but you still couldn't stop Striker from lowering his gaze a little.

"She was murdered by royalty." - Striker said with some resentment in his voice.

"I'm so sorry, mi amor. I had no idea." .- You put one hand to your mouth and another to your heart surprised.

"It's okay, darlin'. I didn't want to tell you about my ma' before either, because I didn't think you were close to those deceased relativies until now." .- This time Striker sounded a little more understanding, leaving his resentment for royalty aside and he did something you hadn't seen him do before; he took off his signature red handkerchief and handed it to you.

"Striker, what are you doing-?"

"This used to be my ma's and she gave it to me when I became independent enough from her." .- Striker explained, adjusting his hat again while he looked at you.

"Listen, darlin'. Before I met you, I used to think that life was something to be taken for granted, and death was the only way to give value to a life. When I was in a near-death situation I would run away fearing for my life; but when I met you, you gave value to my life and taught me the purpose of this holiday, I remembered ma' and the good times I had with her." .- You noticed how your boyfriend's tone of voice had changed and it was the first time that he was vulnerable to you in this way and you were going to support him.

"Your mother is here, Striker. She will continue to live as long as you remember her in your heart, and when you remember her you will always feel the warmth of her, but it is similar to the love you feel when you are with your loved ones." .- You said, putting your hand on Striker's chest and smiling at him with your warmest smile while still holding the photo and his handkerchief in your other hand.

"Can you feel her?"

"I think… I can feel her."

You smiled as you silently handed Striker the photo of his mother and placed his handkerchief around his neck. The rattlesnake was nostalgic. This gesture had not worn his handkerchief like that since he was a child. It reminded him of his mother, you may not have been a snake demon like her but you still had the same love that she gave and you gave it to him as his lover.

Striker moved much closer to you and you gladly accepted it, moving closer until his lips were a few centimeters away.

"Can I-?"

"Yes, you can." .- It was your turn to interrupt your boyfriend so that you could give him a kiss on your lips and he gladly reciprocated while both of you put your tails together and your hats fell to the ground but that didn't matter to you now.

You had a "telenovela kiss" with Striker, like he was taken from a clip of a Hell-a-Novela episode with Gabriella kissing Alejandro. After the party you told Striker that next year you were going to prepare an altar for his mother and he couldn't but agree with that and even told you that he was going to help you do it as long as you told him how to do it. one.

Thanks to you he not only now had a new favorite holiday and now he could always honor the memory of his mother thanks to you.

#helluva boss #the book of life #helluva boss striker x reader #striker x reader #helluva boss striker #striker #la muerte #la catrina #dia de muertos #the day of death

[moose-a-licious]

Mount Shasta- April 2022

“DJ(JD?) was hung today. He was a good boy.”

The first time I read that line was on the first trip I brought Erin up to spend time alone with my grandparents. On the bottom shelf of the bedside table in the room we slept in, that’s where the book was.

That’s my grandma’s aunt’s journal she kept on their homestead. Both my grandma and grandpa grew up there. I can’t remember if his name was DJ or JD -I should have written it down- he was my grandma’s cousin. Johnson was his last name, that is my grandmother’s maiden name too.

It was the books we bought on this trip together that I think helped me solve who he was.

It was another fire that brought us to where we live today. A literal fire. The 2021 Greenwood fire. The lake we live on now is a seaport, the lodge needed people to help feed the firefighters they were housing. They were still open and operating as well. I served in the restaurant, we saved up enough to take our first vacation alone together.

I wanted to see the ocean. I’ve never seen it before. We were going on a road trip to California. First stop would be Omaha to see family, and Jimmy/his girlfriend. We rented a car and drove the first 13 hours.

This squirrel didn’t want Erin’s trash in the can.

In Iowa we drove next to a tornado. The winds at the rest stop were so strong they tore the flag.

We spent the night at Jimmy’s and his now fiancé’s place our first night. Jimmy constantly brings up how embarrassed he is of their dog, Lemon, and how she treated me when we finally met in person for the first time. Just stared at me and made grumbling chirps. Single barked, and left uninterested. Sour. She warmed up, you just have to be patient.

The four of us shared food, went to the zoo, then parted ways. Erin and I went to my parent’s house. My brother and his wife came too. We all looked together at some pictures my dad put on a flash drive for me to take with.

One of those was of the golden orb weaver that would visit us at our garden year after year, I was thrilled. Vibrating. I didn’t even ask him to do this, and it was one of the few “photos of a photo” that he put on that flash drive.

My dad taught me about leaving bread crumbs.

He loves symbolism. He also has to process and communicate differently than when I was a child, has for almost two decades now. There’s nothing wrong with that.

My dad taught me to catch grasshoppers, and give them to the orb weavers. The grasshoppers were eating our vegetables. It was such a rush pouncing on them, and fascinating to watch the orb weavers spin around and around.

Spiders spin their webs with intent. They are traps for fuel. Some people are scared of spiders, but they are good omens. Blood drinking insects, vegetation eating insects, things that steal from humans… all can fall into an orb weaver’s trap.

What was my dad telling me. Was he wanting me to become the orb weaver? Evolve and spin my dreams and webs to help people? Trap the bugs myself?

It doesn’t feel right.

Did he want me to find an orb weaver? Offer them grasshoppers that would in some weird way, help humanity? Protect the gardens.

My mom’s voice is warning me. The first nightmare I ever had was when I was around four or five. In real life, she caught me in the garden feeding the orb weavers. Panic and scolding.

“What are you doing?! Spiders are venomous, if you get bit you will die.”

She didn’t give me time to explain. Dad taught me how to identify an orb weaver versus a black widow by their bodies, legs, and webs. I knew what not to feed.

We went inside and washed my hands. That night I had my first nightmare, a giant tarantula the size of a t-rex was crushing all the trailers in the park. I was so afraid, when I woke up I felt silly though. Tarantulas can’t get that big, can they?

I have to find the right type of spider. I don’t know how to find my orb weavers, my dad’s mind changed before we could graduate from identifying spiders to people.

Pt. 1/6

[rissi-chan]

OC Name Meanings

I wasn't tagged, but I saw this come across my dash and I really want to do it ( I have OC mania/brainrot, and I am not sorry)

Rules: Google and post the meaning of your OC’s name (if you made their name up or they go by a nickname, post an explanation of how it came to you)! bonus if you can find something for their last name too

Tagging: Literally ANYONE that wants to do it - everyone deserves a chance to rant (I know it's less of a "game" that way, but we all deserve some fun!) I WILL directly call out @rishamonkey and @apriltastic tho <3

Neri (Dekarios, after she marries Gale): Pronounced nair-ee, rhymes with Mary. (Hebrew: נֵרִי) (lit. "my candle/lamp") is a unisex given name mainly used in Israel. It's derived from "Ner" which means candle in Hebrew. It is a variant form of "Neriya",[1] meaning "Yah (יהו/יה) is my candle (נֵרִי)".

I actually didn't know this meaning (I came across the name one day when I was researching for work and I loved it), but it fits SO WELL for her character both in Curse of Strahd and BG3. Like, if I didn't know that I HADN'T planned that, that would feel VERY planned.

Dighnilah Khayali: Pronounced deny-la kai-yah-lee. Dighnilah I made up. I've always been a language lover/linguist at heart, and language learning and foreign languages were my focus of study in college. It's one of the few things I'm naturally good with, and I also experience ASMR, so the way words sound hold special meaning on their own for me. That's how I came up with Dighnilah - purely by sound. I liked how it sounded and felt in my mouth (lol). If I were to make up a definition/meaning it would be something like "Unbridled elegance."

Khayali: Originating from Indian and Bengali languages, Khayali is a lovely girl’s name that means “a woman lost in her own wonderland.”

Riza (no known surname): Pronounced ree-zah. As an Indonesian and Albanian name, Riza comes from the Arabic name Ridha (رضا), which means 'satisfaction' or 'contentment.' I didn't choose this name based on meaning, either, but once again by sound. However, since I didn't make this one up and it is a real name, I had to look up the meaning. And, hey, it also really works for her character! Am I . . . intuitive about name meanings based on sound? (jk, I wish I were that powerful).

Leone Trevelyan: Pronounced lee-own. Meaning "lion." Leone is a gender-neutral name of Latin origin. I didn't choose based on meaning (I'm clearly bad at that, huh?) but rather it is the name of a sibling of one of my grandpas (great aunt?) that I always loved the sound of. Plus the one time I visited her she made me pie and pie is my favorite, so fond memories all around. I also liked how it flowed with the default "Trevelyan" name of a human MC in DAI.

However, considering she romances Cullen, the whole "lion" thing, once again, fits XD

Margu Amell: Pronounced mar-goo. Meaning "name of a goddess." Derived from Hindu (though there are MANY cultures and languaged that use this name). Although this is my DAO mage warden's name, I actually most recently (and in the first place) used it for the Touchstarved demo, in which MC has no known surname. And given that THAT character has the "Fallen Oracle" background the name is once again incredibly suited!

#name game #my ocs #ocs #oc #my oc stuff #original characters #original character #names #language #name meanings #languages #linguistics #pronunciation #oc names #the name game #dao #dragon age origins #dragon age #dai #dragon age inquisition #inquisitor trevelyan #trevelyan #dnd #dungeons and dragons #dnd character #dnd5e #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldurs gate #bg3 oc

[multibestie004]

Prologue : lost...

warnings : SA, thoughts of su!c!de, 3d

wc : 910

a/n : im not glorifying any of the warning, if you don't feel comfortable with the themes dni and don't report please.

not proofread

______________________________________________________________

Tell me why im in the corner of my cousins room bawling my eyes out…

1 hour earlier

“You're going insane…you’re talking to the walls and you get mad at me when i tell you the truth…!” I shout at my grandma.

To give context its summer vacation and we’re visiting family in another country. I live with my grandma and we’re currently at my great aunt’s house and im arguing with her because she’s having another episode. I got tired of arguing with her because it never goes anywhere, so i run upstairs to the terrace. my little cousin came up to join me because she like being around me. its really sunny and it's getting too hot for her to be playing in the sun so we go sit in the shed on the terrace.

She finds her tricycle and bikes in and out of the shed. i was getting bored so i decided to call my friend that was back home in france. we don’t get to talk for long before my great uncle comes to check on me because of my argument.

“you know you were right…it's ok to get mad, it's a frustrating situation.” he comforts as he walks over to me.

He's a very short and old man, or maybe i'm just really tall. my little cousin continues to pop in and out of the shed talking to her grandpa in the process.

“how old are you again?” he breaks the silence.

“im 18…”

“have you had a boyfriend before?”

“no…never…its not something that's really interested me before…”

“that surprising…i see girls your age meeting boys online and dating around all the time…do you want me to find you a husband?”

“what? no…i have university to finish before thinking about getting married and also i’m way too young…”

“i can find you someone you would like though…and school isn’t important. you can drop out.”

I was too stunned to speak.

i know what's about to happen.

my cousin comes in asking for imaginary money then rolls back out. he puts his arm around me to pat my shoulder, but then he slides it lower, under my arm…i'm not wearing a bra, so he can feel the side of my boobs. I know that he feels it because he pats the side a couple times before I back away showing my discomfort. i didn’t say anything, as much as the situation was uncomfortable i didn’t want my little cousin to have a bad image of her grandpa she still so little to understand situations like this. when we hear her coming back in, he fully backs away and leaves the shed.

I take my phone out and start texting my friend about what just happened, meanwhile she leaves again, right as i'm about to press send he comes back into the shed and sits very close to me.

he places his hand on my thigh and starts talking to me about how his mother went senile before she die and that it was just something that needed to run its course and that with age its just something that happens. Silence.

“you know I care about you a lot?”

“yes…i know…” he puts his arm on top of my shoulders almost around my neck and brings my head close to his.

I panic and turn my head the wrong way and my face is stuck between his arm and face. without letting me go he used the same arm to push my face towards his but i tried pushing him off…he was oddly strong for an old man…even with my struggling he managed to plant multiple kisses to my lips, while at the same using his other hand to run over my breasts.

the tricycle is nearing again

he lets me go. he gets up and walks out.

i'm sitting there for a good 10 minutes before i realize what just happened.

when i finally get up to go back downstairs, i see that hes sitting on a chair in the sun moving around the peanuts he put to sunroast

“hey! juliette let's go back downstairs. it's too hot for you to stay up here.” i'm scared to leave her up here all by herself with him.

“coming!” she runs ahead of me and down the stairs.

I go into my older cousin’s room because she doesn’t live there anymore and i start bawling my eyes out. my thoughts start racing.

what just happened… would he have done worse if juliette wasn’t there… i feel sick… i want to throw up… why does this only happen to me… why me…why me…why me… can i just die… my mom doesnt want me… my grandma only fights with me… and no one is going to believe me about what just happened… im so lost i don’t even have a university to go back to in france my head hurts…

before i know it i'm asleep…

“y/n…y/n…Y/N!” my great aunt shakes me awake “come eat its dinner time”

“im ok, i'm not hungry”

“what do you mean you haven’t eaten in almost 2 days it's impossible your not hungry”

“dont worry im really not…i just have weird eating habits…but i do eat when i'm hungry…” i give her a weak smile

“ok…if you say so”he lets out a sigh and leaves the room

i lost track of how many days it's been since i last ate, it doesn't matter anyway…

#prologue #how did I end up here #ricky x reader #shen quanrui x reader #kpopidol #fashion model #ricky fluff #strangers to friends to lovers #idol x fan #delulu behaviour

[meaningfall]

I want to live in a commune.

When I was a tiny kid and my parents got divorced, my mom and my two sisters and I had to move in with my grandparents. My aunt and uncle were living there too, so that made 8 of us sharing 1 bathroom and 4 bedrooms (one of which was just behind a makeshift wall we put up in the dining room). My sisters, my mom, and I all shared one big room together, and I think that I didn’t have a bed for a long time, so I slept in my mom’s bed with her. Eventually I got a tiny kids bed, and then later my grandpa built me a loft bed above my mom’s that I loved but couldn’t climb in and out of by myself because there was no latter. When my other aunt and uncle came to visit, there would be 10 of us, and I honestly have no idea where they slept.

My mom was definitely a big person who raised me, but looking back, the job of taking care of me was actually pretty equally split between my grandma, grandpa, mom, aunt, and sister. They all taught me things and got my teeth brushed and fed me, and they all loved me. It was kind of amazing. We also had great grand parents and cousins and friends who all lived near enough that we could visit them whenever we wanted. I was always surrounded by my community.

Then my mom got a job halfway across the country, and she took me and my sister there, leaving my oldest sister behind to finish school. We have no family here besides the three of us, and my mom has always worked multiple jobs. I didn’t grow up in the age where poor kids had cell phones, so we couldn’t even really talk to our family, and it was also hard to make friends. For the most part, it was just me and my sister when we weren’t at school.

I don’t know. To be honest, I had forgotten what having a big family and a close community was like until I thought about it today. I feel kind of robbed. My whole life, I thought I longed to be close to more people because I was just lonely by nature. But it’s because I had all that when I was a little kid, and then it was taken from me. We had structure then. There was time we always shared together and time we always spent apart. And there were expectations of everyone, but also we were all pretty much free to come and go as we pleased and do whatever would make us happy. Even 5 year old me. Whenever anything happened, there were automatically 7 other people who would love to be updated about it and even more were just a phone call or a short drive away. It just felt good.

So yeah, I want to live in a commune.

#communal living #childhood #community #loneliness #commune #thoughts

[carltonlassie]

We got to read my grandma's diary from 2019 before she passed and just. So much pain and guilt and sorrow and regrets permeated through the pages. Like - she was saying she's not educated and eloquent enough to write all these beautiful prose in her diary, but every record of her day was beautiful and heartfelt enough for me to feel everything and even the sentiments that she had left out. Leaves crunching under her feet as she took a walk at the park, her thinking how it's funny she used to wonder why all the old people were sitting on park benches -- only to realize that she's that old person now. Sense of isolation and disconnect so raw as the days progress after the first entry mentioning covid. Her battling with her sense of worth, regretting that she did not amount to someone who could help others more because she had only focused on raising her 5 kids alone. Her finding some joy at least meeting with her elementary school friends (!!!) even after all these years, reminiscing about the days before the war and their home town they can no longer visit. Regrets about not being able to give back to her parents her entire life because. because after leaving her family for what she thought was going to be a short while to escape the war, they became people living in two different countries with no way of communicating. Thinking she'd be able to live a happy life with my grandpa (who has built the house himself) only to find herself alone again so soon. I'm. etc etc. (painfully)

Edit: also she was going back and forth between ugh my children 😤 the government is so much better bc they're giving me free masks and blankets and stuff and volunteers are coming to talk to me and make sure everything is alright with me 😤 and my son came to visit me and have a meal. What a good son. My eldest daughter came to visit me, what a good daughter. My grandchild came to visit. He is handsome and tall and gave me money before he left. 100/100 grandchild Lmao

Edit again: also funny seeing how all my uncle's and aunts birthdays listed on their documents differ from their real birthday. Uncle was born in 12/30 or something but his documents say 1/20, which effectively makes him an aquarius rather than a Capricorn and my aunts were all born in August but they're listed on some random dates in November etc and it's so. Lol

Edit yet again: also it's so sad reading about her getting up and standing on a chair (dangerous!) To put plastic over her windows so it's not as cold in the winter. And finding her home so small.. and worrying for so long about whether she could get a sofa. And when she finally gets it with the help of her son she's like wow why didn't I do this sooner. Also her making kimchi and saying she feels like a rich person now! Twice. Full fridge, full heart etc etc

#log

[jasmariswonderland]

And now, to conclude Taima’s birthday celebrations, here is her interview! ✨

~~~

Yuulan: Happy Birthday!

Taima: Thanks, Yuu-chan! I hope you have a fun time today!

Y: How are you feeling today?

T: It’s awesome having everyone wish me well and celebrating with me. Though, I felt a little homesick when I woke up. I got a video card from my mom and her friends in the guard and another from my sis. I guess I’m missing them a little more than I thought but don’t worry, I’m in a much better mood now! 

Y: Could you tell us more about your family?

T: Well, before coming to NRC, I lived in a big house with my parents, siblings, grandfather, great grandmother, aunts and cousins. There’s my dad is a famous herbalist and healer and my mom is in the royal guard, in charge of protecting the Kingscholar family. And there’s my other mom, she’s a martial arts teacher and taught me and my siblings all we know about fighting!

Y: Wait, so you have two mothers?

T: You sound surprised, but where I’m from, it’s not odd for some people to have multiple spouses. Men can have more than one wife and women can have multiple husbands, or any combination of that as long as everyone involved is cool with it! I have two natural parents but I love my other mother equally and my siblings love my natural mother too. 

Y: That actually sounds pretty nice in a way, and families come in all shapes and sizes. But since your natural mother works for the Kingscholar family, did you know Leona already before coming to NRC?

T: Only in passing, sometimes my mom would bring me and my siblings to the palace but more often than not he wasn’t around. More likely, we’d run into his little nephew Prince Cheka, he’s a sweet kid, very energetic but I guess that’s how kids should be!

~~~

Y: What do you like doing outside of school? Hobbies, interests, etc. 

T: I like most sports and physical activities, swimming, running, martial arts and spelldrive. Both  my moms and my grandpa are very active so I’ve always been involved in some kind of sport. At my old school I was on the track and field club and I joined the same club when I came to NRC. When I’m not hanging with Dani, you’ll usually find me training with Deuce and Jack. Sometimes I join Jack on his morning runs too. It’s nice because he’s always pushing me to be stronger and faster and does’t get mad when I sometimes outrun him. 

Y: Do you outrun your club mates a lot?

T: Every now and then, sometimes they get upset because I’m the only girl on the team and supposedly that means I shouldn’t be as fast. But Jack and Deuce always defend me. And hey, it’s not my fault, I would think they’d want me to be as fast as I can, that’s the only way we can win against other schools! 

Y: Sounds like the track and field club has a good runner on their hands!

T: Thanks, soon NRC will be hosting a track meet with RSA. They may have a seven year winning streak but wait till I step onto the field. It will be glorious! 

Y: Is running something you think you’d like to do professionally? Like maybe being an Olympic athlete?

T: Maybe, there are actually a few things I’d like to in the future but I haven’t decided on one specific path just yet. In addition to being an athlete, I’m also considering joining Sunset Savanna’s royal guard, or maybe even being a professional dancer. 

Y: Oh? Like Dani? Is that how you two became friends?

T: You’re half right, we met about seven years ago. Her family was visiting my country and we met at a concert we were both at. We were both dancing to the same song and ended up bumping into each other, but it was all in good fun! It’s funny, she and I are very different in many ways but dancing is one thing we’ll always have in common. Even if she’s a classically trained ballerina and I’m more of a modern pop and lock type girl! 

~~~

Y: Let’s hear your thoughts on Scarabia and your dorm mates. 

T: Whaaa? You want me to answer truthfully? Haha, well my thoughts aren’t that bad, really! I guess the most important thing is my dorm leaders. Kalim-san is awesome and very fun to be around. I often forget he’s an upperclassman because he’s so easygoing and helpful when he can be. I also often forget that his social status is waayyyyy above mine, until Iman reminds me. But even then, it doesn’t seem like Kalim pays that much mind. That’s what I like about him. 

Y: And Jamil?

T: Jamil-san is cool too, he’s a little more reserved and slightly less approachable but not in a bad way. He just seems very focused and I admire that. I once heard Iman mention that he’s a really good dancer, I’d love to see that but whenever we have dorm parties, he’s usually in the kitchen overseeing everything. Maybe one day though. 

Y: What’s your favorite thing about Scarabia? 

T: Kalim’s magic carpet! Being able to us it is way more fun than flight class! Especially when it’s taking me up in the sky and I give it a little boost with my unique magic! Kalim and Jamil hate when I do that but I don’t think the carpet minds, and life’s no fund without a few risks! Within reason! 

Y: I guess so. Thank you for sharing all of that and once again, happy birthday! 

(A/N: Groovy image is an eventual WIP and would be of Taima soaring in the skies on the carpet, summoning gales with Kalim and Jamil looking slightly terrified)

#twisted wonderland oc #twst oc #scarabia oc #OC: Taima #oc birthday

[nebulousneuroticism]

Hi there.  It’s been a few days.  I wanted to post, but tumblr’s holiday update was disagreeing with my VPN.  Let me try to recall what has happened...

I think my last post was Thursday.  It got very cold after that.  On Friday, I slept late.  My sister’s boyfriend and his brother came for dinner, and then in the evening, we went to a play, a musical version of A Christmas Story.  It was a rather mediocre play, but I do enjoy a visit to the theater.

Saturday was Christmas Eve.  My family and I stayed in all day and played games.  We had barbecue ribs for dinner (a delicious tradition) and spent the night watching Christmas movies.

Christmas itself was enjoyable.  I got up before noon.  We had a quiche for brunch and then opened presents.  I hadn’t asked for much this year, and what I did ask for, I received (a video game, a new pair of headphones) along with some books and t-shirts.  My sister’s boyfriend and his brother came over in the afternoon, and we spent a long time playing board games like Dominion and Root.

Yesterday was monday, and it was pretty laid-back.  We played a game at one point, and ordered a pizza for dinner.  I was texting that cute girl all day, trying to iron out our plans to see each other.  It actually made me quite stressed... making plans always does.  We’re still negotiating, the elaborate dance where you try to have an opinion but not inconvenience the other person while still ending up doing something you’ll enjoy.  I think I might end up driving down to visit her this weekend for New Year’s--a longish drive, but I’ve done it before.  Mostly what stresses me is figuring out accommodations: she has a house, but never offers to have me stay there, plus a hotel gives us more privacy, but then I have to pay for a hotel, which is pricey, and I always worry the hotel won’t be nice.  Ugh, I hate making plans.

Actually, I’ve been thinking a lot about how I never really feel safe.  The situations where I can truly, completely relax are so few.  Only when I’m either alone or with a trusted companion (there are at most four who come to mind), and also in a place that I’m familiar with.  This is why I so often spend my time alone in my apartment, or hiding in my room, or staying up late at night.  Only in solitude can I relax.

I didn’t sleep great last night, preoccupied with these thoughts.  I even woke before my alarm, which was set for work.  I spent five hours working after I woke, partially because I had to get something done, and partially because I was avoiding awkward solo interactions with my grandpa, who had arrived earlier.  (There it is again: I can only relax when I’m alone).

I joined the family around four.  Shortly after, more guests arrived: my aunt and uncle.  The evening featured lots of chatting, drinking, and a gift exchange.  The gifts were a big highlight for me, because my aunt gifted me a Steam Deck.  Now I can access my PC games on the go!  Very exciting.  I set it up tonight--it’s a pretty nice piece of hardware.

Anyway, tonight I feel okay.  I’m happy about the gifts I received, but also exhausted from socializing.  My grandpa is staying for a few days, so I’ll be a little on-edge.  Plus, my plans still haven’t solidified for the weekend... I’ll be stressed about that until it happens, and probably also while it’s happening, too.  But I’m also excited about the start of my sabbatical--just three more days of work, and really I don’t have more than a few hours’ worth of tasks left to do.

So my feelings are a bit jumbled up right now.  I just need to persevere and try not to let my anxiety get out of hand.  If only it were that easy.

[sims4royalsandimperials]

BREAKING: SHIRLEY KENSLEY, ELDER SISTER OF EMPRESS KATRINA, HAS DIED

Tonight, Lunarians are mourning the death of Ms. Shirley Kensley Thompson, the beloved elder sister of Her Majesty The Empress of Newcrest. She passed away at 9:27am, this morning with her son and sisters at her side. She was 66 years old.

Ms. Kensley was diagnosed with Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer at the beginning of January, and just a month ago was told that there was nothing more the doctors could do to treat it, as Ms. Kensley had not been responding to the treatment as they had hoped, and as a result, they stopped treatments and sent her home.

(Above: Shirley Kensley’s senior photo from Windenburg Academy, April 1974)

She was born Shirley Yvette Kensley on 23 February 1956 in Windenburg, Lunaria, the third of five children of Lucas Michael Kensley, a telephone operator, and Helena Evelyn Kensley (née Williamsen), a school teacher. Having been raised primarily in Windenburg, she graduated from Windenburg Academy in 1974. 

(Above: The wedding of Shirley Kensley and Dr. Keith Thompson in 1974, and the Thompsons at their home in Windenburg with their newborn twins in 1976)

On 27 July 1974, 18-year-old Shirley married 24-year-old Dr. Keith Thompson at the Church of Windenburg and the couple had three children; Twin sons Gordon and Keith, Jr. in 1976 and daughter Monica in 1980. 

(A supportive older sister: Shirley Kensley Thompson is seen calming little sister Katrina’s nerves before she walks down the aisle to then-Crown Prince Eric on 4 April 1984)

Shirley loved her family, and made sure they always kept in touch over the years. In an interview shortly before her sister, Katrina’s wedding to then-Crown Prince Eric in 1984, Mrs. Thompson said, “I’ll always have a soft spot for Reena (Katrina’s nickname), and I believe that Eric will give her all the love in the world.”

(A candid moment in time: According to sources close to the sisters, it was apparently Shirley’s idea for Eric to pick Katrina off the ground in one of the wedding portraits)

The couple would make frequent appearances with the Imperial Family, including at family events. Emperor Haudran II, in a 1993 special, said of her, “She loves her nieces. (Eric’s) girls enjoyed her company, especially when their parents were out on engagement.”

When it came to being an aunt, Katrina’s daughters loved Shirley, and the families would always visit one another during the summer and winter holidays. Princess Kaya said in her coming-of-age press conference in 2009, “My sisters and I always loved going to Lunaria to visit Aunt Shirley and our cousins every Winterfest. She would always tell us stories of our Grandpa Lucas’ endeavors, and while our grandfather was still alive, he would confirm the stories by saying ‘Ya’ got that right, Shir.’ We were always amused by the way she would tell us the stories.”

(A doting aunt indeed: Shirley Kensley Thompson at the christenings of Princess Melaura, February 1986, and Princess Susanna, October 1996; also present were then-Crown Prince Arden and Crown Princess Calliana of Lunaria, Princess Susanna’s godparents)

She and Keith were named godparents to Princesses Melaura, Whitney, and Kaya in 1985, 1987, and 1991 respectively. Tragedy struck when, on 8 November 1992, Dr. Keith Thompson, Sr. was killed in a horrific auto accident on the way to San Myshuno, Lunaria for a medical conference, leaving Shirley a widow with three children. She never remarried, and devoted her time to her family. On 10 January 1996, her 19-year-old son, Keith, Jr., was found dead in his home from an accidental heroin overdose, leaving behind a pregnant wife and 1-year-old son. 

This prompted Shirley to go to college. She earned a master’s degree in Psychology from Windenburg College, and decided to convert her family home to a rehabilitation facility. On 2 March 2000, Miss Kensley's Rehabilitation Center was opened, and in the 22 years she has operated the center, Ms. Kensley Thompson has helped to treat tons of patients, including that of singer Eva Ray, reality star Daniel "Pow" Santoro, and most recently, her niece and nephew-in-law, Princess Whitney and Prince Joseph.

(Helping to battle addictions: Ms. Kensley Thompson proudly stands in front of the newly-opened rehabilitation facility on 2 March 2000)

Shirley Kensley Thompson was named “Best in Mental Health” in 2010 and again in 2018, for her work in rehabilitating patients with various addictions whether it be to alcohol, drugs, sex, etc. 

Aside from her work in Rehabilitation, Mrs. Kensley Thompson enjoyed spending time with her children and grandchildren. 

(Above: Kensley Thompson with her grandchild, Riley, and daughter-in-law Claire, in a recent Simstagram post by Riley themselves)

In 2020, her grandchild, Riley, came out as non-binary with the pronouns They/Them, to which Shirley and her family accepted them with open arms. Her daughter-in-law, Claire Thomas-Thompson, took over operations for the facility just a week prior to this morning. 

Shirley was preceded in death by her parents, Lucas and Helena, her brothers Erron and Curtis, her beloved husband, Keith Thompson, Sr., and her son, Keith Thompson, Jr. She is survived by her son Gordon (Claire), daughter Monica (Drew) Ellis, grandchildren Riley Thompson, Keith Thompson III and Ashlyn Thompson, Sara and Dashiel Ellis, her sisters Eloise (Gary) Sayre and Empress Katrina of Newcrest, and various nieces and nephews.

Funeral services will take place on 20 July at the Church of Windenburg and the Hanley Cemetery, where she will be buried next to her parents and her husband and son. The services will be closed the the public.

#sims4royalsandimperials #RIP Shirley Kensley #sims 4 royals #sims 4 royalty #sims 4 royal simblr #sims 4 royal family #sims 4 royal stories #sims 4 monarchy #sims 4 royal legacy #ts4 royals #ts4 royalty #ts4 royal simblr #ts4 royal family #\ts4 royal stories #ts4 monarchy #ts4 royal legacy

[hessofather]

Chapter 5: All the Boys Want Me

‼️WARNING‼️: STRONG TRIGGER WARNING FOR SEXUAL ABUSE TO A MINOR AND GRAPHIC LANGUAGE.

Growing up I had more confidence than I probably should have. I would strut my chubby 7 year old body around the pool wearing a tankini that made my butt sag, look the male lifeguards up and down, then do a cannonball in the shallow end, to show them just how sexy I could be. I always assumed that they were drooling over me because, well, how could they not? I knew plenty of grown men that wanted in my pants so I just assumed I had whatever it was that made men go crazy.

Men like my uncle. My mom’s brother. Let’s call him Bobby. My uncle Bobby would stumble into my grandma’s house, high off of whatever pills he could get his hands on that day. He would look at me and say “Wow you’re really growing up! How old are you now 18?” I’d laugh because I thought he was just trying to compliment me and say that thing that all adults tell kids which is “you’re growing up so fast!” “No I’m 5 Uncle Bobby!” I’d say trying to sound sassy while rolling my eyes. He’d grab me into a bear hug and squeeze my ass and say “well you could have fooled me!”

Bobby had a raging pill addiction, one he inherited from my grandmother. It wasn’t uncommon to go to visit my grandparents house and he’d be there slumped over in a chair drooling and murmuring about how the family all treats him like shit. I felt bad for him. He must have been the outcast and felt lonely. I knew what it was like to be lonely so I’d make a point to sit with him and talk about whatever I could think of. Most often times it was about plans I had for my future or showing him my latest moves I learned in ballet class. “I’m turning 6 soon so I’ll be moving up a class in ballet!” He’d mumble something about the government and continue to drool and snore. I’d continue dancing and telling my stories.

Sometimes I’d go over to my grandparents house and he’d be there all day. My grandpa would be taking one of his daily naps after the bar and my grandma would be passed out on Xanax or forcing someone to take her to dollar general for cleaning supplies. Which would leave me and Uncle Bobby alone. One day, when he was only about 50% fucked up with pills, he came up with a game for us to play. It was called Disneyland. Disneyland was a game that was just for the two of us and HAD to be our secret. Otherwise everyone else would want to go to Disneyland with us someday.

The game went like this. For everything I let him grope and touch on me, he’d promise a ride on a different attraction at Disneyland. “This one gets you a ride on the tea cups!” He’d say as he groped my nonexistent boobs. “This one get you Tower of Terror” He’d whisper squeezing my butt. “This one is very special. It’s for splash mountain!” He’d laugh grabbing my vagina. I didn’t really like playing this game because it made no sense to me. How did any of these things add up to rides at Disneyland? I had no idea but the game seemed to make him happy and less lonely, and got me a promised trip to Disneyland. So I continued to play it with him every once in awhile when we were alone.

One day I walked passed him getting ready for dance class. He said “mmm” and smacked and squeezed my ass. I didn’t like it when he did that because he always did it too hard and it hurt. It reminded me of the spankings id get at home and it pissed me off. I’d finally had enough of it that day. I went up to my mom later on and said “I don’t like that Uncle Bobby touches my bottom. He shouldn’t get to smack it if I’ve done nothing wrong.” To which my mom looked at me in horror. She wanted more details but I was afraid to get in trouble so all I told her was that “Uncle Bobby likes to grab my butt when I walk passed him and I don’t like it. I also don’t like it when he says I’m sexy because that’s a bad word.”

I remember that night my aunt and uncle came over to my grandmas house. My mom, dad, grandma, uncle Bobby, and his wife all sat in the kitchen yelling while my grandpa and I played outside. I loved family quality time like this. My mom called me into the house and told me to sit on the couch, then left me alone in the room. My uncle Bobby came in and got down on his knees infront of me and said “Sorry sweety for touching your butt. I didn’t know that that’s a no no spot for you.” I sat in silence, thinking “huh, what about the other spots?” I didn’t look at him. “Can I have a hug now?” I just shook my head no and started to cry. I didn’t know why I was crying until he told me. “I guess we won’t be going to Disneyland since you told the secret.” Which made me mad because I DID NOT tell anyone our Disneyland plans. How dare he say I broke my promise.

For years to come after that the family never spoke of the incident. My mom’s biggest rule was that if my uncle Bobby tried to be alone with me I needed to try my best not to do that. I wasn’t allowed to be alone with him and it was my responsibility to make sure that didn’t happen. When he’d come over to my grandmas house I’d run and hide in my grandpas closet. “Watcha doin darlin?” He’d ask. “Oh I just wanted to sit and think in the dark grandpa!” I’d yell out from underneath a pile of clothes in the closet. I didn’t want to get in trouble so I did my best to make sure I didn’t end up alone with uncle Bobby.

It made my grandma angry though. She’d burst into the closet after awhile “why do you treat your uncle Bobby like this?! He’s done nothing wrong and you act like you’re afraid of him!” She’d seeth between her oddly white dentures. “I’ll get in trouble with my mom. Because he touched no no spots.” “HE DID NOT YOU MADE THAT UP!!!” She’d yell. I hated her. I was a lot of things to her apparently. Stupid. A brat. A bitch. Ungrateful. Stuck up. And now a LIAR? I was a lot of things but I was no liar. THAT WAS A SIN.

Uncle Bobby wasn’t the only man who saw the true sexual beast I thought I must have been as a child. Lots of church elders would sneak in a handful of nonexistent boob when giving me a hug. One of whom took me and a few other girls to the park and to McDonald’s one day. I learned that grownups love to share secrets with pretty little girls. Secrets like what color of underwear we were all wearing, or the fact that you can put salt ON TOP of your ketchup before dipping your fries.

We moved churches a lot growing up. Most of the time it was because my parents would find out a pedophile was targeting me. My parents would tell the church council and they’d get “well he’s been a member longer than your family has been so we can’t ask him to leave.” So we’d leave and find a new one. I felt bad that my parents had to deal with having such a sex magnet of a kid like me. The struggle of being THIS sexy was just too much for the house of god and his men to remain pure. I remember when I was 12 and got an email from a 40-something year old man in the church. It read, “ that dress you had on last week looked SOOO nice. You should wear it more often! ;) -love Mark.” I proudly showed my mom the email to prove to her that the dress was a fantastic purchase choice. We left that church after getting the usual reply from the council. Then my mom threw the dress away.

I got my first real, tax paying job at the age of 16. At Pizza Hut. There I felt free. Free to flirt with all the middle aged men that would tell me what they’d like to do to me after my shift. Free to flirt with my manager for free food. Free to escape the hell that was my house. Free to escape the man I called Dad. I found comfort and friendship at this job. Friends of all ages. A few teenagers that I’d go to Walmart with after our shifts ended and buy ice cream and pajamas. But my best friend was the delivery driver. I will not name him. I simply refer to him as “pizza hut guy” now. He was 32 and I was 16-17. We’d stay up all night talking on messenger video. It started out simple. Just him walking me to my car at night to keep me safe and asking if I got home alright.

It didn’t stay simple for long. I revealed the secret about my uncle to him one night after sneaking some alcohol from my parents. He was so hurt by the information that he cried. I couldn’t believe how good of a guy he seemed to be. He was perfectly nice. He always asked if I had taken my meds, even started to video called me to watch me take them every night. Wow, what a great guy. I’d call him on nights where my dad had been angry and throwing things and he’d promise that someday it would be better. Even if it was up to him to make it better for me. We’d hang out all durning our shifts, even coming in on our days off just to sit in the booth and hangout.

That booth was one of my favorite spots. It felt like it was just him and I, and that I could tell him anything. I told him my deepest darkest secrets and fantasies. He’d tell me his too. We’d laugh and cry and spend all night talking in that booth. Then go home after closing time and video chat until 3am. He’d ask me what color of underwear I was wearing and I’d answer him in Spanish to see if he could guess the right answer. He’d ask to see them so I’d set my camera up and prance around my room to show him. He’d tell me how beautiful I was and how if things were different, maybe he would fall in love with me.

Love. I still had no sense of what that word meant. I knew it was sexual. But also cuddly. Hot, but also comfortable. I wanted it so bad. I wanted to know exactly what love was. And if he was willing to teach me, I was willing to learn. We’d sit on the same side of the booth watching scary movies and cuddling he’d put his hand on my thigh and run it along the inseam of my jeans. Sneaking his hand up higher and higher until I’d call it quits. He’d get sad and say “I just want to make sure you know how it feels to be touched the right way before you end up in a relationship someday and have no idea what you’re doing.” It made perfect sense to me so I’d let him continue. Higher and higher his hand would go on my thigh and I’d giggle and he’d squeeze and smile. Until my manager would eventually walk over to tell us that we need to either clock in and work or order something. He’d snap his hand back into his lap so quickly I would try not to burst into laughter.

One night we had a closing shift together and once we locked the doors he asked if I wanted to sit for awhile before going home. I thought this sounded nice so I agreed. He walked me to my car and sat between me and the open driver door. My car was too small for him to sit in comfortably since he was 6’2” and about 350lbs. So he’d sit next to me on the ground often. He said he wanted to play a game and I was intrigued so I agreed. He said “put your hands on the steering wheel and don’t move them. No matter what.” So I did. He started groping my thighs, breasts, he’d put his hand lightly around my neck, then he’d grab my vagina through my jeans and I got nervous. I started to move my hands off the wheel. “Uh uh uh” he said with a smile. “Lay your chair back” I didn’t want to do that. “Lay it back or we just won’t be friends anymore.” I couldn’t loose him. So I did. He then climbed halfway into my car putting his body weight on me and trying to unbutton my jeans. “ I think I need to go home now.” I said trying to not panic. “Just few more steps until we’re done.” He said trying to get his hands into my pants.

I don’t know what happened in my moms brain that night but she forced my dad to drive her passed the Pizza Hut I was supposed to be closing that night. All the lights were off but she saw my car and Pizza Hut guy’s car still there. Just as he was about to fully climb on me my parents flew through the parking lot and he jumped off me and tried to pretend he was tying his shoe. “Get home. Now.” My mom shouted at me. He got up and just whispered “sorry” to my parents. He got in his car and sped off.

I got home and my mom laid into me about how dangerous my actions were and how I must be leading this man on. How she wasn’t stupid and knew I’d been talking to him every night and how he is expecting me to do things now. I was confused. Shouldn’t she be mad at him? I broke down sobbing. “I just wanted a friend mom. He’s not my friend though. He lied.” She called my job the next morning, told them everything and quit on my behalf. I went to return my uniforms and my manager said “ugh now I have to hire two waitresses to replace you. I can’t even go on my vacation anymore.” And that was it. Pizza Hut guys still works there to this day. I can’t walk into a pizza place and not get sick from the smell now.

I lay awake at night often. I think about all the girls that came before me into these men’s lives. And then I get a gut curdling pain when I think of all the ones that were after me. All the ones that my uncle got to. All the ones in the churches. And all the teenage waitresses at that Pizza Hut. I worry that I could have done something to stop it but when I really stop and think about it. I don’t think it was my job to stop it. I think it was my parents job and they failed me and all the other girls. I think it’s the churches that keep loyal money held higher on the totem pole rather than the innocence of children. I think of all these men who are disgusting, vile, and evil vermin who serve no greater purpose than simply paying taxes and dying.

I do get to revel in a few things though. The man from the church that took me to McDonald’s is now serving life in prison due to having 200 files of child pornography on his computer, some of which were homemade. Pizza Hut guy would be 39 or 40 now and is still a fat fucking Pizza Hut delivery driver. Then there’s my uncle Bobby. He died a few years back from an overdose. Everyone cried at his funeral, everyone but me. I even got a few minutes alone with the body to say goodbye. I simply looked at his disgusting, rotting corpse and said “Hope theres a Disneyland in hell. Have fun bitch.”

#white trash #family trauma #this is my life #complex ptsd #tw ptsd #ptsd #tw depressing stuff #tw sex assault

[arianahrizzo]

Unpacking Us & Out There Screaming

I shared with a friend that I watched the movie US. His first reaction was, “Are you living under a rock — how in the world are you only now watching the US.” After he got over that shock he asked me what I thought the movie meant. This was my message reply: “I think it has different meanings. One is that we bury parts of ourselves so deeply because who we truly fear is ourselves, but at the end of the day we can’t escape ourselves. I liked the ending because I feel like the little boy knew something was up with his “real” mom. And I think it’s also about othering and how one group can only thrive if the other suffers.” The theme of privilege and what it means to stand on the shoulder of those who came before us really stood out to me. After Professor’s Due shared about her mom and inspiration for “The Rider,” I first thought about privilege in relation to my parent’s and the sacrifices they had to make so that I would not have to. I often associate sacrifice to my ancestors and people that came before me. However, in the US, I saw a different take on privilege, meaning that it is not only those who came before us that had to suffer for us to thrive but also people alongside us (in the present and in ourselves) who are suffering instead of us. I think this is what the meaning of the tethered speaks on. 

From watching Get Out, and paralleling it to the US, I focused on the fact that something that seems like a singular problem like the Rose’s parents and brother in Get Out and the first doppelganger family, actually turn out to be much larger issues. I think this speaks to systemic issues, like incarceration and detention in this country. One question I had after watching Get Out was if the doppelgangers would've known another world exists if it wasn’t for the real Adelaine.

Both of my parents were born in Mexico and came to the United States at different points in their lives. The short story, “Dark Home” made me reflect on my immigrant background and cross-cultural experiences. My grandparents had a house in Mexico and after my grandpa passed, my dad remodeled it and put in a camera so he can keep an eye on it when we are not there. There was a period in which my dad kept getting alerts on his phone that there was movement in the house. When he would check the app, all we would see was a light moving around. They sent my aunt and other people to investigate to see if it could be an external source making the light or camera go off. Everyone, including my dad (who is the most non-believer in ghosts and spirits that I know), concluded it was just my grandpa’s spirit visiting his home. I was so shocked that nobody else was freaking out the way I was. “Dark Home” made me remember that there are many traditions and “creencias” (beliefs), especially ones that involve death and grief, that are so common to my culture, and that I often neglect living in this country.

[raspberryconverse]

I had a weird emotional moment today and I just want to write about it.

It's a very long story, but if you want to read it, I'd appreciate feedback.

So I have a cousin who is 2 years older than me. Honestly, she was more like a sister to me than my actual sister (who is 3 years younger than me, so it's definitely a different dynamic). Her and her mom did live with us briefly when she split with her dad, but eventually they got their own place. She went to a different junior high, but we went to the same high school and were in orchestra together (she played cello, I played violin). She also made me join Key Club (basically she wouldn't give me a ride home that night if I didn't).

Even when she went away to college, we remained pretty close. She gave me her drivers license when she updated her address so I could use it to get into bars. I visited her and she visited me. We were just very close.

We kind of fell out of touch as she got older. She got married really young and got pregnant with her first child when I was 21 (I was actually the first to know because she called me to tell me she wasn't going to be able to celebrate my 21st birthday). I floundered throughout my entire 20s and she lived kind of far away, so our relationship just kind of petered out. I remember I was the last one to find out she was pregnant with her second child. I was going to wish her a happy birthday on Facebook, but my dad had told me she had the baby. Nobody told me.

One thing I think kind of was the end of our relationship was her mother. Our grandparents had gotten sick and her mom was their primary caregiver and power of attorney. Our grandpa had gone into memory care and our grandma had ended up with bedsores while he was in the hospital. My aunt blamed me for it because I had gone on a trip and my dad and uncle, who also lived with my grandparents, hadn't taken care of her properly (which clearly was my responsibility as a 20-something 🙄).

Eventually, our grandpa died and for some reason the funeral director did a google search for him and came across my blog. He showed it to my aunt and she lost her shit about it. She read the whole thing. I started it when I was 17 or 18 and documented my college years. I had realized I was bisexual when I was writing in it and I had a lot of sex when I was in college and wrote openly about it (not the dirty details, but definitely talked about having sex). My aunt lost her shit about it. She hated that I had said less than nice things about my family (they were hoarders). She just had a lot of opinions about it and because I lived at my grandparents' house, she made my life hell because of it.

Our grandma spent months in a nursing home recovering from her bedsores and when she came home, my aunt came over 3 times a day to care for her. I still lived with them and my aunt had so much animosity towards me, she taunted me and did everything she could to make my life difficult. She'd yell "QUEER!" at me when she saw me outside. She'd block me in the driveway so I had to drive over the grass and through the alley to leave for work. Once, I was taking a shower so I could go to work and it just so happened to be at the same time she wanted to empty my grandma's commode, she left the commode outside the bathroom door and yelled at me when I got out. How dare I take a shower so I could go to my job, right? It's not like there wasn't a second bathroom in the house or that it couldn't wait 15 minutes for me to finish showering 🙄 I used to go to a zumba class once a week and I eventually ended up showering at my mother's house because I didn't want to try to take a shower while my aunt was there. It got so bad, I ended up moving in with one of my knitting friends who was recently widowed.

I'm not sure what was going on with my cousin throughout this whole ordeal. I'm not sure what, if anything, that my aunt said to her about me. I know my cousin had no problems with my sexuality or my sex life. Hell, she read my blog. I brought my girlfriend home for Thanksgiving one year and we (me, her, my cousin and her husband) all hung out in the empty apartment above my aunt's house. My cousin even said, "I don't think anyone [in our family] would have a problem with [me being bisexual]." Clearly, she was wrong.

I do remember messaging my cousin once because her mom was causing a scene (over something I did, but I honestly don't even remember what it was). It was basically me saying, "IDK if your mom has been talking about what's going on here, but she's lost her damn mind." She threw a kitchen garbage can down the basement stairs (I had set up a little corner of the basement to live in at the time) and ripped the thermostat out of the wall. Once she threw the garbage can down the stairs, I called 911. The cops came and so did my aunt's boyfriend.

I remember talking to my mom about the situation, probably around the time that I asked her if I could shower at her house after zumba, and I said to her, "I thought that she and Uncle Beaver [yes, I have an Uncle who's nickname is Beaver] were the only sane ones in the family." My dad's older brother is a story for another day, but he was... something. My dad's older sister is currently in a nursing home because she has brain damage from a freak accident while doing drugs. My dad has OCD and is a hoarder. My mom's reply to me was, "No, she's nuts too. Beaver is the only sane one."

When my grandpa died, my cousin came to the funeral with her son. We went to a restaurant afterwards and I had to leave early to go to work, so the waitress gave me my food to go. As I was leaving, my aunt was outside smoking (she was a chainsmoker) and she sneered at me, making me feel bad for even getting the food. And you know what was really cute? My cousin told me that her son was worried I wasn't going to get my food. Nobody else thought it was uncalled for for me to order food and realize I wasn't going to have time to eat it with them because I had to go to work. Just my aunt.

The first time I ever really understood how trigger warnings could really be helpful was when I was going through my Gmail account to delete things because they had emailed me to tell me I was running out of space. I came across this email and for the first time in my life, I felt a sheer sense of panic when I couldn't possibly be in any danger. This email had been sent to me by my aunt 9 years prior to me coming across it and my aunt had been dead for 3 years (she died of kidney cancer in 2017). She sent me this with photos she took of my "room" in the basement before she trashed it while I was at work. Sure, it hadn't been clean, but she threw things all over the place.

(for reference, Mancow was a sort of shock jock radio host in Chicago and I had gone to school for radio broadcasting, graduating just in time for the economy to tank in 2008)

So I don't even know what I'm trying to say with all this. I'm still friends on Facebook with a lot of my cousin's friends and what prompted this was one of them posting about how they all got together recently. I remember awhile ago I tried to tag my cousin in something and her name wouldn't come up. She was no longer in my friends. I searched for her and she was no longer anywhere. I interpreted this as she might have blocked me. I don't know why she would have, other than the bad things I might have said about her mom (which were really watered down). I didn't name her, obviously, but if my cousin read my posts, she would know it was her mom. I've done searches before on a browser where I wasn't logged into Facebook, but couldn't find her (mostly because her last name is Young, so she's definitely not the only one with her name). When I saw this post, I asked my spouse to search for her and they also couldn't find the right person. I was actually tempted to ask another friend who commented on the post if he could tell me if my cousin was tagged or not in the post, but decided that would be really weird. My spouse thinks she might not be on Facebook anymore, but part of me still wonders.

I think my uncle might still have her number, but I don't. I really wanted to invite her to my wedding last year. I really miss our relationship. My spouse says I should just email her. Her Gmail is her initials and last name, so it's very likely she still uses it (as opposed to something silly). But part of me can't bring myself to do it. I don't know how she felt about her mother dying. I obviously was relieved. Hell, I was relieved when our grandma died, not necessarily because I didn't care. To be honest, I was really devastated by her death. I didn't see her much the last couple years of her life because my aunt moved her in with my uncle and I knew she'd be around a lot. My grandma meant the world to me. She was the one who taught me to knit and cross stitch. I'd talk to her on the phone all the time when I was in college. She was a very headstrong woman because her father died when she was young, so it was just her mom and two sisters together during the Great Depression. Yes, she was a hoarder, but she was an amazing woman and I loved her so much. But her funeral was a relief because I knew that was the last time I would ever have to see my aunt again. And it was. She died 3 years later and didn't even want a funeral or obituary.

If you've made it this far, please tell me your thoughts. Should I email my cousin? When my spouse made this suggestion, my thought was that I felt bad that I didn't think to do that when we were getting married. I was so convinced that she had me blocked and that she was angry for me saying not so nice things about her mom that I didn't even think she'd want to go to my wedding if I contacted her. Also, I tried to add her on LinkedIn and she never accepted, which kind of solidified the "my cousin hates me because I hated her mom" theory. But now that it's been over a year since I got married, I almost feel like I don't have any good reason to email her, other than seeing photos of her and wondering how she's doing. I actually have a friend from college who was pregnant with her son at the same time that my cousin was pregnant (they even have very similar names) and every time she posts about him, I think of my cousin and her son. I haven't seen any photos of him since he was maybe 6 and he's a teenager now. I just really miss her and would love to reconnect with her, but I just don't think I could handle the rejection if she actually hates me now. One of our other cousins unfriended me (he's in the military and is a little conservative, so I can see why) and the other blocked me because we got into an argument on Facebook. And I don't know what happened with my other cousin. I'm friends with cousins on my mom's side, but I barely know them because they live in Florida and I've lived in the Milwaukee/Chicago area my whole life. But this cousin was basically the older sister I never had and didn't live with. And I miss her so much. I kind of forgot how much until her friend posted those photos.

#family #dysfunctional family #facebook fomo

[alifurt]

2021

So while we await the puppies, let's jump back in time and continue playing catch up.

January 2021 began the serious hunt for a beach property. We had been looking since our couple of trips to Westport over the summer, and we finally jumped into action, checking a few places out along the Washington coast. The perfect house came on the market but was quickly gone pending and we were so disappointed we were not quick enough. But as luck would have it, come Feburary that same house would go back on the market after the buyers getting cold feet. We went and saw it immediately and it was as good as we imagined from the listing. There was a bidding war with three potential buyers and we were the fortunate enough ones to be chosen. It was the first time we had ever ventured to Ocean Shores (about 40 minutes south of our regular getaway spot, Seabrook).

Also in February, Vivian saved her money to get a pet hamster. We welcomed Pixie to our family and she quickly became Viv's emotional support animal - sitting with her for remote learning and being her ever-present sidekick.

On March 19, 2021, we closed on Gray Sands - our little paradise on the Pacific. I still pinch myself and cannot believe this is my life. We are so blessed beyond measure.

April brought another fun getaway with friends. We went to Leavenworth for Easter between visits to Ocean Shores.

Tyler ended up out at Ocean Shores doing a lot of painting and since by this time school was back in person on a shortened schedule, I was stuck home with the kids running that show. One thing we didn't plan for was Conner seriously breaking his arm on Tyler's birthday while he was at the beach. Conner ended up having surgery at midnight (because they had to wait for 8 hours after his last meal - despite having vomited all over because of the morphine they gave him - apparently he has the same reaction as me) to repair his elbow and place 3 pins to reconstruct his humerus. He spent all spring in a cast recovering.

in April, I was fully vaccinated, and so was Marissa so we went on a girls' trip to Puerto Vallarta. We basked in the sunshine without kids for a whole week and it was glorious... especially after the long lockdown.

Tyler's dad drove out to help with some work at our beach house and was the first of our family to get to see the place. It was so great that he taught his boys so much as they were growing up because it has come in very handy with both our houses! There isn't anything I cannot imagine Tyler couldn't do and I am positive he gets that directly from his dad's smarts, persistence, inquisitive mind, and work ethic! Of course, they didn't take any pictures...

We took our last planned trip to Seabrook, WA at the end of April with the Gilbert and Ross families. It was the first time we had rented a house as close to the beach as possible and it was a blast. It sure did make having our own beach house seem all the more surreal.

Also in May for Conner and my dad's birthday, my parents, aunt, and uncle came out to visit and we all went to the beach for our first vacation trip without doing work with visitors.

We worked all summer long on a driftwood fort on our beach. It evolved with everyone adding to it each visit.

We celebrated Claire's birthday as the first big celebration at the beach.

July took us back to Michigan to visit family and friends. Highlights were lake time, fireworks, and an elaborate treasure hunt at Nana & Grandpa's with the cousins.

To end July, my cousin Maya was able to come out and visit. It was a bittersweet trip because we had talked about her and Kela coming to visit and it finally happened and we deeply missed Kela there.

In August, Tyler's brother's families came out to the beach for the first time. We got to celebrate my niece, Brooke's, birthday together which was so fun for all the cousins to be together for a weekend.

September brought a camp trip, visit with Nana and another Furtwangler trip to the beach to celebrate the cousin's birthdays, and the start of school in person which included Kindergarten for Claire!

Viv finally decided she was ready to face her fear of needles and got her ears pierced on September 21st.

October brought us another visit from my mom and it happened to be the same time as the NILMDTS Virtual Remembrance Walk so she got to join us in honoring Zachary as we walked among many other fun activities.

The big highlight of October was Steve and Lacey's wedding in Hawaii. We spent a glorious week in paradise with all of the Furtwangler family celebrating this wonderful occasion.

November was a big milestone. Zachary's double-digit heavenly birthday. It seems impossible to already have been 10 years since he came and left so briefly.

For Thanksgiving, we celebrated with our friends at our house. And we went tree hunting for the first time out in the wilderness that weekend. It was an amazing adventure and the whole family really enjoyed the experience outside of the standard tree farm.

December marked the kids being fully vaccinated... We got to start doing things that seemed almost normal, like the Garden d'Lights with our friends and a small masked birthday party for Vivian.

While the kids were completely vaccinated, they were not considered fully vaccinated for a few weeks after and that was not quite fully before their first close exposure to COVID from my parents during their visit for Vivian's birthday. Luckily, no one got sick as my mom must have been out of the contagious phase and it was very mild to begin - so much so she didn't even think to test for COVID (one of the differences between Detroit and Seattle). However it did cause our family to need to quarantine for the beginning of their visit and the kids had to stay out of school. On the plus side, that meant more time with my parents once we got over the initial fear of illness and since they drove out, they were not on any timeline so they planned to stay for quite some time which allowed us to still get to go to Snowflake Lane.

We celebrated our first Christmas out at the beach with the Pedersens and Robertsons and it was a blast despite a COVID exposure after traveling causing us to miss the Gilberts. We were all sooo over COVID at this point and having just gone through the quarantine and stress of exposing friends and loved ones and messing up plans, it was a bit of a downer. Nonetheless, we made the best of it by doing a little virtual Secret Santa so we could still have some fun together. We ended up cutting our Christmas at the beach slightly short because of the weather forecast. Seattle was supposed to get a major snow storm so we ended up leaving Christmas Day to head back to Sammamish. We ended up stuck home for a week because of the snow that stuck around for quite some time.

Despite the snow causing challenges, we did end up going to the Gilbert's house, just our two families, to ring in the new year with our friends. It was a great way to end the year... although I recall being less than enthused when the first day of school after the break had been canceled because of the lingering snow. With quarantine for a week prior to the long winter break, we were ready to get a little space from our kids for a few hours each day.

[starshiprangerash]

I'm just gonna talk about some personal stuff, essentially dumping everything in this post. I don't expect anyone to read it, hence the read more cut. I just want to type it all out, I think it'll help a lot. So feel free to ignore this.

Let me just recap this year a little, well over a year.

So, about October of last year my dad got an infection. Now I don't what kind, or how, or anything. He wasn't keen on telling us stuff. But he couldn't had this, cause I was the one who had to stay with him to make sure he took his medicine.

And things seemed to pretty fine, and then July happened. And oh boy did the universe decide to have some fun timing.

So, June 30th, Techno's dad posts the video announcing that sadly Techno had lost his battle to cancer.

July 1st, I wake up go downstairs, ans my mom tells me my aunt has cancer. (here's a fun fact I only have 2 aunts, and the other one died from cancer a few years ago)

And then the end of the month comes along, where me and my sister go on vacation with my dad's girlfriend's family. During which my dad has to go back home for a doctor's appointment. While he's gone, me and my sister find out, he wasn't fine. He had been in and out of the hospital for months. That realization hurt. We all thought he was doing fine. So when he comes back, I tell him he can't hide that, we want to know, and there's an agreement reached.

August 10th, I have the most interesting first 20 minutes of consciousness. Cause hey that's when Oli posted his first Empire's video. And it's also when my dad got admitted in the hospital. And it's also when my mom came into my room to tell me my grandpa had cancer.

And thus began the month where someone was in the hospital all the time. And I'm not exgerrating, I kept track. The longest no one was in the hospital was 18 hours. Either my dad, grandpa, or grandma was in the hospital. Sometimes all at once. Yippee.

And then September. The first to be exact. My mom comes into my room to wake me up. They had to intubate my dad. My sister was coming soon, and we were going to go over to say our goodbyes. Luckily he pulled through. The 10th, Grandpa is rushed to the hospital. He never leaves. He died on the 15th. I didn't much care, he was a miserable man who made everyone around him miserable. But it still happened. Didn't hit till two days ago when the Christmas Eve party text went out. He always played piano.

And things liked good after that. My aunt was getting chemo, grandma was doing fine for her age, and my dad was getting stronger. He's eating, he's trying to talk. We visited on Thanksgiving.

December 3rd. My dog's barking wakes me up. I text my mom asking if she wants me to send him down or if I should wait, cause I know she might be cleaning the floors. She just says my sister is coming. My sister arrives, and they both come into my room. The first thought that passes through my head was "The last time they had to sit down like this was when my cat died while I was at work" almost jokingly say that. Only reason I don't is cause I get a message that distracts me long enough for my sister to rip the band-aid off.

And I understood what people meant when they say "time stood still" or "they felt the world flip upside down" Cause that's what happened. Two words. Two words I haven't been able to repeat.

Look my dad wasn't the world's best dad, but goddammit he was mine. And it's been in waves. Like that first day I was a wreck, and yes I went to work. It helped. It was a distraction. Every person who found out (either from putting two and two together or from a text I had my sister send cause I couldn't) asked me why I was there? Cause i needed to be, not in a work way, but in a distraction way.

Also I should mention, my mom's birthday is December 5th, ain't that some funny timing as well.

I guess this is the part where I ramble. Cause I haven't been able to fully process this. Or maybe I yell cause it's not fucking fair. Cause it isn't. My grandpa who was a shitty person got so much time with his kids. Ans he fucking wasted it, leaving a mess in his wake. My dad got so little with his. My grandpa saw one of his grandkids get married. My dad didn't even see his kids get married. He deserved more. Maybe I deserved to have a dad longer. I don't know.

I do know my life is different. I do know I'll have to process this with more than just jokes. I also know I'm tired of "are you alright?" I know I'm tired of "I'm sorrys".

If you did read this, just know I know. You're thinking you wish well wishes, thoughts prayers, virtual hugs, or whatever. I know. And while I do appreciate it, I don't need to read it. Just know I know and appreciate it. Or maybe do tell. I don't know. This whole grief and healing thing is confusing. I don't like it. But I can't avoid it. Is that why people still say all those things? Cause it helps the process. You can't deny or ignore it. Maybe. I don't know.

But I do know I need to end this with those two words. The words said to me on December 2nd. The two words I haven't said. The two words that changed my life. The two words I refuse to type. (though it'll be three in this case)

My dad died.

#ash's grief talks #just in case i talk more #might though #writing things out helps #i think #it helped with the other stuff

[jennarae1001]

18 months later & almost SIX.

LOTS of changes for my family. We moved to Virginia.  I started kindergarten AND I am going to have a baby sister in a couple of weeks!

Here’s a few highlights from the last 18 months...

2021

April- We visited family in Missouri. I also started dance and t-ball!

May-we found a church in Maryland we really liked, celebrated my sister’s second birthday, and did some local traveling (National Harbor, National Zoo, and camping on Solomon’s Island).

June-I started piano lessons and my parents think I am super good for only 4 years old!!

July-GranMare and my cousin Sam flew in for the Fourth of July holiday. We had so much fun together. I also went to my first symphony performance at St. Mary’s College.  My grandpa Ed visited me this month too! I also got another haircut! While this isn’t my first haircut, it was the most I have ever had cut at one time--5 inches! 

August--My family drove to Alabama.  We were able to visit family in Mobile (Rollo clan) as well as my Missouri cousins for a fun week at the beach!

September- Granni and Papa came and visited me and my parents went on a trip to Charleston, SC. I roller skated for the very first time. We also went to the St. Mary’s county fair and got to see a ton of farm animals. The weather started cooling down and we did a lot of biking on the Three Notch Trail. 

October--we celebrated my fifth birthday with special appearance by Elsa! My Granni, Papa and GranMare were able to be there for my special day, too! This was our first year doing a family theme Halloween costume-Little Mermaid.  Daddy was King Triton, Mommy was Ursula, I was Ariel and Madi was Sebastian. 

November-We flew back to Missouri for thanksgiving! It was great to see my grandparents and cousins again. I also got my first Brazilian jijtsu promotion.

December- We stayed home for Christmas and celebrated with neighbors. Santa brought me a brand new bike! We spent New Year’s Eve at the Richmond Zoo for the very first time.

2022!

January-SNOW, SNOW, SNOW! we got a big snow in Maryland that was fun to play in.  I also started t-ball for the second year and got to do my very first sports clinic.

February-DISNEY WORLD!!  We drove 12 hours down to FL and had the week of our lives! My grandpa Ed came and visited us too! I asked my momma this week if we can go back next year! We also found out I was going to be a big sister again!

March- This was a month that was spent mostly at home.  We did not have any trips planned but I stayed busy with preschool, tball, and jijitsu. My momma also started a new job where she gets to work entirely from home.

April-HOPPY easter! We had some fun Easter egg hunts between church, school, and our neighborhood.  GranMare and Auntie Roz came and visited us while mommy and daddy went to Bahamas to see Uncle Blake and Aunt Mandi get married. 

May- This was a BUSY month. We celebrated sister’s 3rd birthday with Paw Patrol theme and a water bounce house.  Granni and Papa were able to come visit us again in Maryland and we went strawberry picking and to Busch Gardens. We flew to Missouri at the end of the month to celebrate Grandma Rita’s birthday and to visit grandparents and cousins. We also go to be apart of Blake and Mandi’s wedding reception in Nebraska.

June- SWIM SEASON!! The community pool in our neighborhood officially opens and we visit almost daily. We also find out we are having a baby...SISTER!  Sadly, one of our dogs, Atlas got sick and we had to say goodbye to him. Daddy never let him have table scraps or human food but his last meal was Chick-Fil-A. <3

July- We celebrated our last holiday, Fourth of July, with our Maryland neighbors and moved to a new state, VIRGINIA! It was a hard transition initially for me. I was sad to leave my best friends in Maryland, my house, and my preschool.  We met several of our new neighbors who are now our friends. We went to the beach, Busch Gardens, and Water Country. 

August-I completed swimming lessons and can now swim confidently without a life jacket. Granni and Papa visited us and brought their camper. Mommy and Daddy went on a trip to Outer Banks, NC.   We spent A LOT of time at Busch Gardens and Water Country before I started kindergarten!!! I really like my new school, too!

September-Last days of Water Country! My daddy also went back to work fulltime outside of the home for the first time since February 2020!!  He will be working on an aircraft carrier in Newport News. I started soccer for the first time in Virginia. 

Later this week I turn SIX! Mommy told me that the last time my birthday was on a Saturday was the day I was born.  I did not want to have a big birthday party this year so my family and I are going to Great Wolf Lodge to celebrate! 

#Youtube

[augustzeichnerin]

.

#my aunt came to visit us and my grandpa was also there and we were sitting in the garden #and my grandpa asked what the translation of something in english was and my father told him but then said that he should ask me because of #us all i‘m the one who can speak/understand it the best #and then he said that i read and watch movies in english #and my aunt thought it was a great idea that her grandson is learing latin in the moment #did someone ask?????? #i hate being around them bc i always feel like i‘m stupid and can do nothing or nothing i do would be as great as what he is doinh #as soon as he was born my cousin and my aunt just abandoned me and let me fall like a hot potato #and god i just hate being around them #one positive thing about corona is that i didn‘t have to see all of them since it started #and i could live wirhout ever seeing them again #they stopped giving a shit about me a long time ago #i think they are one of the reason why my mental health is like shit and i habe all these issues #i was having an okay/good day and now my mood is ruined #k