#my attraction toward women feels different from my attraction toward men and i don't know what to make of that

[rosesnbooks]

Astrology observations #2

-people who lack an element in their chart really do surround themselves with a lot of people in said element. for example, my friend lacks earth and has at least 4 friends who are earth sun signs

-some capricorns really can't get along with leos, but they are attracted to sag and aries placements. they can't help it

-mars in the 1st house get sexualised a lot, to the point it gets too much for some people..especially women. these people are also very ambitious. even when going through tough times, they never lose sight from their goals

-mercury in aquarius have a unique humor. the same goes for mercury in the 11th.

-virgo mercury pay attention to details, esp when they like you..the things they remember and gifts they give you, shows how thoughtful they are

- fire signs/houses..please tell me that you've been told at least once that you talk too loud. i have aries mercury and my friend mercury in the 9th and we both had a revelation that we talk too loud lmao

-well-developed capricorns are such sweethearts. they are reasonable and grounded, but they are also so funny and charming. they may appear as if they have everything under control at all times, but they're just like the rest of us

-water signs have the craziest dreams i swear😭some can sound like scenes from a movie, fantasy and/or horror

-moon in the 5th house/leo think about themselves a lot and take things personally. they think everything is about them. on the other hand, they have the biggest hearts and they want to make everyone they love happy. can you blame them tho for wanting to feel like a main character

-when you want to ease your mind, talk to someone who has a sagittarius mercury and they will cheer you up

-having an empty 7th house might mean that you don't have much, if any, relationship experience. you probably give good relationship advice though

-aquarius/11th house placements have their own strong moral code. they can usually hide their feelings well, but if they realise someone is being intolerant towards others and mean, they'll get really emotional. they want the world to be a better place, and get frustrated when they see how many people don't care

-capricorn placements may have really complex relationship with their parents. they often expect too much from their kids, and since they prove that they can endure almost everything, the parents don't loosen their grip. they need to know their worth and forget about the expectations!

-mercury retrograde can really cause communication issues for people. it is difficult for these people to express how they feel and stand up to others. but, it does get better with time!

-aries and taurus placements combo in a man can be very dark imo, they are often players. they also have huge ego problems. i dislike emphasizing only the darker parts of people, so i have to admit that these placements, if well-developed, can be very loyal and passionate especially with people they love. they are also incredibly hard-working and focused, it's really admirable.

-be careful when dealing with men that have virgo and libra placements in their chart. some may be romantic and attentive, while others can nitpick your every flaw and can have ridiculously high standards. they can cheat and lie easily as well

-sagittarius venus love adventure, having a partner who doesn't know how to have fun and explore things is a big turn off to them. they can make compromises for their more serious partners, but if they can't reciprocate the same effort, it's not going to work

-cancer risings seem very approachable and kind. their eyes are usually big and curious, almost childlike

-this has been said many times, but venus in the 1st individuals truly are beautiful. there is also something different and captivating in their beauty, they stand out wherever they go

-saturn in the 3rd house/gemini may indicate that a person faced speech/writing difficulties when they were young, or they continue to struggle with it

-pisces moons tend to forget things and their memory can betray them at times. as a pisces moon, i think that's because we are in our heads too much and we remember how we felt about things, not the words and actions. we also struggle with being present 100% of the time, so we perhaps didn't listen to you in the first place (i'm sorry)

take this with a grain of salt, since i only read about astrology in my free time!💜

#astrology #astro observations #rosesnbooks #astrology observations

[the-music-maniac]

I haven't watched that much of One Piece yet, so feel free to disagree with me on this analysis, but there's one thing about people's general interpretation of Sanji as a character that drives me a little nuts. And I'm saying this because even though I'm not very far along, I got spoiled for his backstory (because I refused to stop reading fanfiction even though when I first started I was like, on episode 3).

So before you continue, there are spoilers for Sanji's past.

I think people tend to ignore that the differences between Sanji's demeanor towards men vs towards women likely partially stem from severe trauma. I don't believe his actions are entirely intrinsic, its not like he was born acting like this - nor is it an unchanging immutable fact of his character, despite what a lot of people seem to believe.

And for some context on what prompted this - I'm a sanzo/zosan shipper, so I tend to crawl through the depths of the internet looking for fun little videos and fanarts, and one consistent protest I see with this ship is "Sanji DESPISES men and WORSHIPS women, there's literally no way he could EVER be attracted to men or want to date a man he HATES them."

Which bothers me outside of any arguments about Sanji's sexuality or even about any ships - which I will get to in a second - because that interpretation of Sanji assumes his actions are just there for no reason. Sanji hates men, therefore he hates all men with no exceptions, and he will always hate men. Sanji loves all women, therefore he will always worship every single woman he meets. I dunno, I think it's just a very surface level understanding of who he is, and relies on setting a rule for no reason and just sticking to it, as if it's just a mere quirk of his character with no backing to it.

Sanji's first interaction with any people, was in the form of his biological family, as is the case with most of us. Specifically, his father and brothers, who abused him and didn't even treat him like a person, and his mother and sister, who were the only people that treated him with kindness and saw his humanity. Tbh, he reminds me of the way women who have experienced trauma from men act - a general dislike/disdain and distrust for them (for good reason). And I don't doubt Sanji's overall elevation of women was only hammered home by the fact that his first ever father figure - arguably the first man who's treated him with kindness - teaching him the lesson to always respect women. His very illogical need to never fight women probably partially comes from the events in his life, and because it's not just a two dimensional arbitrary rule established for his character - there can be exceptions and growth.

We already know this, because despite Sanji's general disdain of men as a whole, he is capable of caring/loving men that he personally knows. He loves Zeff, and he loves his nakama - some of whom are MEN. Like, it's right there??? In the same way a woman who has experienced violence at the hands of a man probably still has family and friends or even a significant other that they love and care about that are men.

Like if you're using his demeanor towards the different genders as an "aha got you" argument for why Sanji couldn't possibly be queer, its not as strong of an argument as you think it is.

And if we're operating under the assumption that Sanji partially acts like this because of trauma, it brings up quite a few interesting arguments about his sexuality and potential romantic partners.

Which segways into sanzo/zosan, since admittedly I got into this entire debacle because I was looking into fanart (non-shippers feel free to click away now if you wish, I get that not everyone likes the ship, which is valid).

I don't think Sanji's actions means he couldn't be bisexual. Cause I'm bisexual, and you know what would make me very very keen to ignore all my attraction to one specific gender? If I had multiple instances of that gender hurt me severely. In fact I'm not so certain I don't experience that, because while I haven't had anything super bad happen to me, I hear about things in the news, about friends and family who have been harmed, interacted with men who have talked down to me, and I definitely went through a phase in my younger years where i just refused to consider men as a possibility for a romantic partner, because I was just so so angry. And I'm not saying Sanji doesn't like women in truth, because he absolutely does. He's both attracted to them and likes them. But that doesn't eliminate the possibility that he might also be attracted to men, or other non-binary genders. In fact the more he doth protest, and puts on a show when he sees a pretty woman, the more I'm sure he's in denial. Internalized homophobia can also be a bitch. Contrary to making me think Sanji is absolutely straight, the way he acts in the show actually puts me the opposite way.

I've heard Sanji also has an interesting relationship with gender and may be genderqueer but I don't know as many details about that yet, so I'll skip it for now. But regardless, I look at Sanji and go "I don't think this is a traditionally cishet character."

Of course, this is by far not the only interpretation you can have of Sanji. It could be that he's traumatized and also heterosexual. That's absolutely fine. But my overall point here is that I don't think what we see in canon negates the possibility that Sanji can be queer.

As to why I like Zosan in relation to this:

1. First, a relatively minor thing, I enjoy the sheer amount of bickering/fighting. People hold that up as a reason to not like the ship and I'm like, my dude that's one of the only reasons why I'm here. My love language is annoying the people you love and occasionally having homoerotic battles. duh.

2. Zoro is one of the aforementioned men that Sanji cares about, one of the exceptions to his "men are horrible" thing. Like they argue and fight a lot, sure, but you're not convincing me that they don't love each other. In whatever capacity - platonic or romantic - is up to your interpretation. Sanji loves all of his nakama, that's not really something I see as up for debate.

3. I honestly believe that until Sanji gets a less extreme viewpoint of the different genders - he won't be able to be in a healthy romantic relationship with a woman. For one thing, I know Sanji has self worth issues for days. For another thing, his hero worship for women as a whole - his refusal to fight women, even when they're actively trying to harm him - I don't see that translating well to a relationship. Moreover, I can see it being exhausting for the woman he ends up with, to always be treated like she's made of glass or agreed with, regardless of what she says.

Essentially, he wouldn't really treat that relationship as a partnership between equals, and I think when that happens, you run the risk of the individuals hurting each other, even on accident. Of course, we can also see this as a facet of his character with exceptions and possibility for personal growth. Maybe if he gets with a girl he'll grow and learn and still end up in a good relationship. You could also just interpret his demeanor as over the top flirting that he'll reign back in for an actual serious relationship. Sky's the limit when it comes to fandom interpretations.

But because of this, regardless, I just don't see any potential between the female characters I've met and Sanji. What I do see potential in, is Zoro. Here is actually a character Sanji not only trusts to watch his back, is on equal footing with, but is also unafraid to speak his mind and fight with. He doesn't walk on eggshells or worship the ground Zoro walks on, he has no qualms about defending himself if Zoro crosses a line. That is what a relationship can be built on.

4. Zoro has a contrasting way of interacting with women that I find super interesting. He comes off as the kind of character that doesn't actually care about the gender of the person he's fighting or interacting with - he cares about their ability. Which kinda explains his reactions when he hears Kuina's thoughts about being a girl - and I think Tashigi as well if I'm remembering correctly. There could be a clash of beliefs there that might be quite interesting. I know Zoro and Sanji do fight about how they talk to women, but I meant like something not just played off for laughs. Maybe there is something like that later in the show, who knows, I'm still early on.

5. Again the entire reason why I like enemies to lovers is the need for personal growth. I heard someone say that Zoro would be fine with being in love with a boy if it wasn't Sanji, and Sanji would be fine with being in love with Zoro if he wasn't a boy, and man do I think that's accurate. And here's the crux of the matter - in order for them to get together, they need to get over their hang-ups. Sanji needs to unpack the ten million tons of trauma he keeps repressed under his curly noggin, and Zoro needs to figure out why Sanji rubs him the wrong way. That shit is INTERESTING. People forget that the reason why this trope is so popular is BECAUSE it's a fixer upper - there's work to do. Nothing is perfect. It may even be a little toxic. That's the appeal.

Anyways this is getting TOO LONG. Thanks for reading!

#sanji blackleg; trauma; and his relationship to men and women: an essay #one piece #sanji blackleg #analysis #roronoa zoro #sanzo #zosan #sanji x zoro #zoro x sanji #bisexual sanji blackleg #potentially genderqueer sanji blackleg #zoro and sanji's differing interactions with women are just quite interesting #i headcanon zoro as gay cause that man has never shown interest in a woman from what I've seen so far

[yesimwriting]

How do you think Felix would react to bestfriend!reader coming out as bi/pan or nonbinary/genderfluid?

Do you think he would view women as much of a threat as men or…? And what do you think he would say if reader went: “OMG FELIX that girl is so hot” or something like that.

Sorry this was kinda long— 😭

i wanted to answer this fully bc it's a good question, and that got a little long so it's below the cut!!

also i analyze felix's sexuality a little just to give some background on my perspective,, but i try not to put my own speculations on felix's sexuality in fics (unless asked to) bc i want the person reading to be able to decide how they see felix

oh!! also! side note! i've mainly written bestfriend! reader with female pronouns,, and some plot stuff in the main fic i'm writing does rely on reader being female, but if anyone ever wants a specific blurb to have reader be gender neutral,, just specify in the ask and i'll make sure to write it that way :)

okay,, i think felix is extremely bi/pan leaning

and by that i mean i don't think he'd label his sexuality,, and not even in a 'too cool' way, he just wouldn't put that much thought into it,, like he probably sees himself eventually settling down/marrying a girl bc that's kind of the default (a tiny bit of comphet lol),, but i think he likes who he likes, he's attracted to who he's attracted to and doesn't pay much mind to their gender

i feel like this applies to most of felix's family/inner circle as well lol,, like attraction is attraction, why get caught up on the details if that makes sense

also no one can convince me felix didn't feel anything for ollie,, they are that romantic coded best friendship that ends dramatically and traumatically for all involved <3 but in bestfriend!felix verse reader will always be his #1, trust

but if we are reading felix as straight,, i still think he'd be super supportive (bi wife energy)

so considering that (and the fact that felix loves reader too much to ever make them feel bad about anything,, especially something like that) he'd be extremely supportive of reader's sexual orientation and/or gender identity,, and if anyone even implies something rude oh!! he's fighting!

depending on how bad it is, felix might just exclude that person socially, and bc of felix's influence, that means everyone starts to shun that person,, if someone was really homophobic towards reader,, felix would cuss them out fr,, might even instinctually get physical depending on how bad it is

as far as reader being like "felix! that girl is so hot" his initial reaction would be to agree/hype you up bc it's instinct to support reader,, but then it'd hit him and he'd be like oh. wait.. :(

true equality and acceptance of reader's sexuality/gender identity is wanting everyone of all genders to realize how wonderful reader is,, but from a distance <3 like yes i have the cutest, most perfect, lovely,, intelligent best friend, i'm glad you noticed,, unfortunately that's all you get to do

i do think that if it was just you two talking while out partying or hanging out and it didn't go further than some comments, felix would be supportive, but he'd be a little extra touchy to prove to himself that reader will let him

i think he'd be more bothered if reader called a guy hot, not bc he's more intimidated, but bc at least when reader finds a girl attractive it's much less of a direct comparison (bc female presenting and masculine presenting are generally hot in different ways) if that makes sense

if it goes any further than that,, felix is equally pouty no matter the person's gender

also we know felix's friends have a habit of hooking up with venetia,, so i could see this making felix more wary of venetia and reader getting along a little too well over the summer lol,, like he wouldn't assume the worst if they started liking each other a little, but he'd be wary

honestly, though,, at the end of the day, as long as it's clear that felix is reader's absolute favorite person of any gender, he'd be chill and even when he's jealous he's supportive

#bestfriend!felix #felix catton x reader #saltburn x reader

[novelcain]

Heyo, I have a bit of a prompt for ya. So I’ve seen the “Demon that wants to abduct and forcibly marry Reader,” post(s) and raise a “The local regent/king finds Reader attractive (in a way that he views her almost like a novelty than as a whole person) and offers her a position as a concubine/ ‘palace lady.’” This is a different kind of scenario because straight up murdering the king of the area is not exactly the option that’d let the journey continue smoothly and refusal could also be construed as an offense to the king, but Reader does not want to and needs to continue with them on the journey. All of the other disciples know this, and maybe can tell she’s uncomfortable (even if it’s before Wukong has really fallen for Reader, she is still someone he would consider to be his friend at the very least). How are they going to get out of this one? (Slightly inspired by the time Tripitaka was propositioned in the Kingdom of Women by the Empress.)

Ps: sorry if this is dumb, regardless, I hope you have a good day - 🌺 anon

King: So what do you say, girl? Will you become my concubine? I see no possible reason for you to say no! I can give you all you could ever ask for in exchange for serving my every whim! That seems like a wonderful deal for a woman like you that clearly comes from nothing.

Reader:

Wukong:

Sandy:

Pigsy:

Ao Lie:

Reader: Wha-What?

Tripitaka: N-Now wait just a minute, your Majesty. You c-can't simply expect her to drop everything and stay here-

King: Well of course I can! I am the king of these lands! In fact! I insist upon it! Woman, you shall stay here and serve your new king immediately as soon as you are cleaned.

Reader: *feeling a panic attack approaching as the room starts to spin*

Wukong: *holding back the urge to commit violent murder*

Sandy: *rethinking this whole "pacifism" thing*

Pigsy: *looking disgusted at the king*

Ao Lie: *wondering if anyone would notice if he turned back into a dragon and ate the king*

Tripitaka: *trying so hard to think of a peaceful solution while also trying not to cry over how much the king is objectifying Reader* Y-You can't just h-have her! She's a necessary part of our pilgrimage!

King: By the Heavens! She's just one woman how valuable could she be!? After all, she is just your maidservant is she not!?

Tripitaka: *remembering that is the disguise they came up with for her* Yes, b-but! Why must you have her, great King!?

King: Because I have never seen a woman like her before! She is a beautiful foreign flower that I simply must have for myself! Here! I shall be merciful and send you off with another servant!

King: *gestures to his guards to find a servant*

Wukong: *reaches toward his ear for his staff*

Sandy: *reaches for his spade*

Pigsy: *reaches for his rake*

Ao Lie: *gets ready to turn into a dragon*

Tripitaka: *frozen in shock*

Reader: *sees the carnage about to begin*

Reader: I HAVE A DISEASE!

Everyone: *stops and turns to face her* HUH?!

Reader: I... have a disease.

King: *narrows eyes in suspension* And what is the name of this disease?

Reader: *sweats nervously as all knowledge of every disease she knows of decides to take a vacation from her brain at the one moment she needs it most*

Reader: In... junct... co... itis.... Injunctcoitis.

Everyone:

King: I have never heard of this Injunctcoitis. *turns to the court physician*

Court physician: Neither have I, your Majesty.

Reader: It's a northern disease! From the north! Where I'm from!

King: *looks at court physician*

Court physician: It is possible, your Majesty. *approaches Reader starts inspecting her* And what are the symptoms?

Reader: Oh, w-women don't have any symptoms. *takes a deep breath and composes herself* But for men it makes their dick fall off.

Everyone: IT WHAT!?!?!?!

Reader: Yep! After two months, yo dick just gonna... fall off. And it's a sexually transmitted disease.

King: I can't take any risk of that being true! Get them out of here before this disease spreads to the kingdom!

The Pilgrim Gang: *gets escorted out of the kingdom*

Everyone:

Reader: *sniffles*

The boys: *hugs Reader*

P.S. this so wasn't dumb I had fun writing this 🤭

#🌺 anon #skittle answers #isekai'd to the west #isekai'd to the west skit #journey to the west x reader #jttw x reader #sun wukong #journey to the west #jttw #monkey king #wukong #the pilgrim gang #tripitaka #sandy #pigsy #ao lie #tang sanzang #sha wujing #zhu bajie #bai longma

[collegetennisoriginstory]

Interesting question re: the f! versus m! versions of the LIs. This is just personal taste, I don't think any of them are more or less loveable based on gender!, but I do think f!Rayyan is more attractive to me than her male counterpart, while for G & Sam it's the opposite - I exclusively romance their male counterparts. Tobin is the same for me in both versions, but I still prefer f!Tobin simply because I prefer playing as a woman hehe. For context, I am a bisexual woman leaning more towards women, buuut I'm really into gnc women and I guess G and Sam both just feel like they fall outside a category I am attracted to :'o f!G feels more femme fatale as a woman, and f!Sam is very cute.

This is supremely intriguing, thank you so much for answering!! I absolutely live for interactions like this!

My answer became a goddamn ESSAY (holy shit I'm sorry) but I'd definitely love to hear more of you guy's thoughts on this, cause this is super interesting to me!

For G, I totally agree. I feel the pivotal traits that shape them (cynicism, stoicism about life and what life throws at them, adapting to circumstance, instead of stubbornly sticking to 'what they want', their parents' divorce, being caught between worlds and used to living in multiple places at once—Canadian-French from their mom and French-French from their dad, their intense commitment to their belief that things don't last, and you can't expect them to) feel more... attractive to me in a woman than a man (because lord knows we have enough flaky non-committal men in this world), but I think that's probably a subjective opinion.

For Tobin, I think it's inevitable that their softness/gentleness AND their queerness is influenced by their gender, and I love that idea, and I hope to explore more of that later on. For M!Tobin, I feel like they've always had to deal with the fact that they're a little "too" soft for what the world expects from them (a black american in the ultimately super-machismo world of sports), and they've always at least "fit in" with the rest of their team because of their athletic prowess AND how much attention they get from the ladies. Now, exploring their sexuality, having to come to terms with the fact that they are attracted to men as well (and what to do with that information)... I think it adds an extra layer of vulnerability.

As for F!Tobin, I think there's similar tensions—but in different ways. E.g. maybe they're the way they are, so gentle and considerate and kind because, in some ways, they're compensating (subconsciously or consciously) with the stereotype that black women athletes are "too powerful", "too fierce", and they've only ever wanted to be accepted, respected, loved, hence they've always been softer than they have to be, kinder than they have to be, more considerate etc. etc. But then they met MC, and perhaps they're learning to put that all away, and just... be. Without fear of being "too much"—with MC reassuring them that they're OK just the way they are, and that their strength and courage does not need to be tempered for anyone else's benefit.

And finally, for Rayyan, again, I absolutely agree—there's something about F!Rayyan and how, coming from a conservative immigrant Muslim family (e.g. there was that scene with a brief mention of how their dad never even thought they should be serious about turning pro, becoming a professional athlete especially because she's a girl), she's probably had to fight for absolutely everything she's wanted in this world, and that's why she's so steely on the outside, why she's so unapologetic about pursuing the things she wants because god knows the amount of sacrifice she's already put in. There's still that dimension in M!Rayyan, being an immigrant, threading that line between wanting to do their family proud, wanting to pursue their own dreams, ambition—so much ambition—but also fierce loyalty, and uncompromising, unyielding courage.

Sam feels the most... unchanged whether or not I imagine them as female or male, the experiences that made them the way they are (and how they interact with MC) are the same (e.g. being in love with your best friend, being extremely open about experimenting with literally any type of human romantically except the ONE person they actually love and trust with all their heart, scattered loveable goofball tennis nerd that they are).

#college tennis: origin story #ct:os #if #interactive fiction #asks #rayyan #tobin #sam #g #gender

[heartfeltcierra]

Marco and Ace (Separate) With an Insecure plus sized reader (Female)

Request- Hi, I really liked your hurt-comfort stories. Could you do Ace, Marco or Vista with a female reader who is not conventionally attractive. Maybe someone makes a comment about looks or weight? I read a lot of stories where reader has a "small frame" and it makes me feel sad about my body. If you don't take request ignore this. Thank you :)

AN- This request hit home, as a plus sized person myself I understand the pain of reader having a "small frame". But it does not make you any less worthy of love! I went with Marco and Ace! Thank you for the request and Thank you @seafoamxshayde for helping me edit!

Masterlist

Warnings- Violence, Self Hatred, mentions of knives, light cussing, mentions of insecurities about looks/weight. Angsty with fluffy endings!

Base Story 

 The atmosphere on the Moby was as lively as ever. The smell of booze laced with Thatch’s top tier food filled the cool night air. You watch as  your fellow crew mates dance around with mugs in their hands- singing songs, sometimes their words slurred. A chuckle escaped your lips. It’s times like this you don’t regret becoming a pirate. You walk over to the only open seat on deck, it was at a table filled with newcomers. You don’t really mind, knowing you need to get comfortable with them sooner or later.

 You slot yourself between two of the newbies. The men looked at you for a moment but turned their attention back to each other. Your plush thigh accidentally brushed up against the man on your right, he snarled before rolling his eyes. Typical. You know these men dream of hot mermaids or drop dead gorgeous women in general. Everything you are not. If you were, the men around you would be pouring your drinks and flirting you up. But you notice the look in their eyes, it calls out “She is undesirable.” And you feel the rejection burrowing deep within your chest. You try to shake your thoughts, tonight is supposed to be fun right? You attempt to jump into a few conversations but we’re dismissed. Not giving up you turned to the man on your left who slammed his mug against the oak table.

 “Man, I have drunk so much I feel like I’m going to die.” He let out a burp and wiped the foam from his mouth. “Too bad if I do. I’ll die without knowing the warm touch of a woman.” An idea popped into your head. You slowly reached out and touched the man's shoulder. The table went quiet as all eyes turned to you.

 “There you go. I hope it was everything you ever dreamed of.” You let out a laugh and gave him a playful smack on the back. The man snickered and his eyes caught yours. 

 “Let me add to my previous statement. I want the touch of a beautiful woman. Am I right, fellas?” Your eyes widened,  the men around you started laughing and banging their hands against the table. Your eyes go to your lap. You look at your stomach, how it sticks out. The same stomach you’ve held a knife up to. Wishing you could cut the fat off. Then your eyes travel to your plush thighs. You realize that even you are disgusted by your flawed body. Ugly. Fat. Undesirable. Freak. These words repeat  like a mantra in your head. The laughter died down and eyes fell on you yet again. You needed to say something. 

 “Yeah.” You could only mutter one word. You followed it with a laugh that seemed to satisfy them. Their conversations switched to different things as you sat mortified. You could feel the building pressure in your face. You wanted to cry, you wanted to scream. Every fiber in your body said to get up and go hide in your self loathing.  

 “Thatch where are you going?” You turn around and see the cook walking towards the kitchen.

 “Someone has to wash the dishes.” Thatch stretched his arms out dramatically. “It’s going to be a tough job.” 

 “Commander Thatch let me do the dishes!” Your voice was shaky, but hopefully he didn’t notice. 

 “Are you sure? You just got here Y/N, you haven't even eaten yet.” He quirked a brow at you. 

 “I’m sure. Plus I do a better job than you.” You throw some playful banter to throw him off your trail.

 “Okay then.” He returned to the table he was sitting at. Ace, Marco, and pops were also resting there. 

 Without another word you make a beeline to the kitchen. Tears pooled in your eyes, causing them to blur. Once you got to the safety of the kitchen and made sure you were alone, you came undone. The sobs that left your mouth echoed in the kitchen. You wonder what it is like to be thin and beautiful, to have that power that could make a man turn his head. You wish you were small, you wish you were cute. But you are big.  You wish you were a delicate flower in the wind, one who could be easily picked up by a man. But you were a rock that had sunk deep within the ocean. A rock no one wanted or sought after. You are worthless. You were drowning in your mind  with an anchor tied around your foot. No one could save you, or so you thought. 

 Marco The Phoenix 

  “NO PLEASE COMMANDER!” A man screams out, pulling you from your thoughts. The blood curdling scream came from the deck. You could not help but be curious, so you peek out of the kitchen door. There was a group of men standing in a circle cheering on someone. Hoping to get a better view you walk out towards the railing. A burst of azure fire shoots into the dark sky. Looking down in the middle of the circle you see Marco in his half phoenix form. He had a skull crushing talon gripped around a man's head. You notice the clothes on the man, the realization hits you like lighting. It was the man from the table.

 “How dare you.” Marco’s voice booms. You have never seen him this angry before, he was always so calm and collected. Seeing him like this was scary to say the least.  “You wanna know something newbie? I can hurt you just as much as I can heal you.” You see blood trickling down the side of the man's head. His body was thrashing around, begging for Marco to let him go. 

 “Marco, I think that's enough. You’ve beat a lifetime of fear into him.” Thatch tried to reason with the Doctor, but it was no good. You wonder what could have got Marco this riled up?

 “Shut it Thatch. I’m only done with him when I say so. I ought to throw your pathetic ass overboard for saying what you said about Y/N-yoi.” Marco removed his Talon only to wrap it around the man's throat. “Now listen up, prick. Y/N may not be beautiful in your worthless eyes, but to me she is the most beautiful woman that ever walked the earth.” That statement made your heart flutter. 

 “Commander, I'm sorry. Please let me go.” The man pawed at the talon. Marco smirked down at him in triumph. He slowly released the talon, causing the man to gasp out for air.

 “So now that we cleared that up.” Marco grabbed the collar of his shirt and brought him close to his face. “I’m not going to kill you so consider it your lucky day. But I recall Y/N went to go do dishes. So you're gonna take her place, got it?” 

 “Yes Commander Marco.” The man got up and stumbled right back to the ground.

 “Good, now hurry before I change my mind.” Marco gave him one last death glance before he ran up the stairs, passing you in at a frantic speed as he busted the kitchen door open.  

 Your head turned back to the crowd below you. Marco was staring right at you with a gentle smile on his face. He must have known you were there the entire time.  Heat rose to your cheeks like a wildfire when your eyes met his. You'd be lying if you said you didn't have a crush on him. But you never acted on it, knowing it would end up in a rejection like they all have. Marco was gorgeous. Tall and strong, yet so gentle. Plus  a doctor of all things.  Why would he ever want someone like you? The negative thoughts seeped back into your mind. The smile that adorned Marco’s face turned to one of concern. Before you could turn and run away a flash of blue stopped you in your tracks. Marco’s blue wings of fire were spread in front of you before disappearing from his body.

 “Hey gorgeous, wanna go talk somewhere more private?” Marco motioned at the sea of eyes below you. The heat found its way back to your cheeks at the attention you were receiving. You nod shyly. Marco placed a hand on the middle of your back and led you to Moby's back deck. You cringe at his hand placement. It was ghosting over the fat you hated so much. You subconsciously pull away from his warm touch. Marco quirked a brow at you as you walked over to the railing. 

 “Marco, I really appreciate what you did and what you said. But you don’t have to lie to make me feel better.” Your nails digged into the wooden railing as tears of frustration rolled down your chubby cheeks. “It’s really cruel to give someone like me hope you know.” You bite your lip in hopes you don’t let out a sob.

 “Lie? Y/N everything I said was the truth.” Marco’s large hand grabbed your shoulder signaling for you to turn around but you couldn't face him. 

 “SHUT UP.” You were at your breaking point. “Marco you know just as well as I do. I am not attractive. And I’m definitely not someone who you should waste your time fighting for. I mean just look at me. I’m a monster. I’m big, I take up too much space. And I-” You turn to face him. You expect the look of disgust like you're used to seeing. But the eyes that look down on you show something different. They were filled with adoration and sadness. His hands grab the railing on both sides of your body, caging you between him and rails.

 “I am looking at you Y/N. But I don’t see a monster. All I see is the woman who I adore more than anything.” He reached his hand to cup your cheek, wiping away the tears in the process . You wanted to retract from his touch, but you craved the soothing feeling they gave. “ I know you don’t see what I see and I know you’ve been told things in the past that make you think what I’m telling you is a lie, but it is not. And if you’d let me, I’d like to prove to you everyday from here on out how much I truly love you. All of you.”

 For a moment you just stared at his face. Looking for signs of malicious intent, but there was none. His brown eyes were soft and twinkled with affection. You never thought a man would look at you like this in your lifetime. This was something you’d only experience in a book, but here you were on the back deck of the Moby sharing an intimate moment with the man you had fallen in love with. 

 “Can I kiss you?” You notice a tint of pink on his cheeks. You shake your head in approval. Marco brought a hand under your chin to tilt it up, his lips connected with yours in a soft, sweet first kiss. The caterpillars you never let grow in your stomach had turned into butterflies. This man really loved you. You are wanted. You are desired. You both pull away and take in much needed air. 

 “So I take that as a yes?” Marco’s face was fully flushed and you don’t think it’s from the lack of oxygen.

 “Of course it’s a yes.” Marco let out a relieved sigh. Your emotions were running wild, you could feel tears trying to start again. 

 “Hey now, no more tears, pretty girl. Even if they are happy ones. I don’t think my heart can handle it.” He brought his hand up to his heart dramatically causing you to laugh at his antics.

 “Okay fine. No more crying. I’d hate to kill the best and only doctor on the ship.” A new found confidence finds its way to you as you reach up and take his hand from his chest, lacing it with yours. His hand grips yours back giving you all the reassurance you need.  “We better hurry back to the party. Hopefully there is some food left for us.” Marco’s eyes widened. You and him both know food goes fast on the Moby. 

 “Oh crap you're right. Now that you mention it I’m starving.” You hear a grumble form in Marco’s stomach. 

 “I guess almost killing a guy and confessing to me has worked you up an appetite.” You laugh as you begin to walk with Marco hand in hand. 

 “It did. But I’d do it all over again. Both kicking that bums ass and confessing to you dear.” He brought your hand up and kissed your knuckles. The gesture makes your heart flutter. 

 The Moby was still lively even after the fight that took place. If anything it was more so. Marco led you to the table with Pops, Ace and Thatch. Pops let out his signature laugh as you and Marco sat down.

 “Son, you sure know how to put on a show.” Marco let out a weary chuckle at pops statement. 

 “Yeah, sorry for the ruckus pops. I just couldn't let that slide-yoi.” His arm reached around you and pulled your body so you were snug against him. “What kind of man would I be if I didn’t stand up for the woman I love.” The men at the table all smiled at Marco’s declaration. 

 “Look who grew some balls.” Thach stuck his tongue out causing Marco to kick him from underneath the table. “OUCH. Dammit Marco I was just joking. But in all seriousness I’m happy  for you both. Dare I say you make a cute couple.” The cook gave a sincere smile.

 “I think so too. Tho Y/N may be a little too good for you.” Again Marco kicked, this time it was Ace who fell victim. “Can’t pull that move on me bird brain.” 

 “Ace I swear I’ll throw you overboard. See how cocky you are then.” Marco stood up from the table and Ace followed . You reached for his purple jacket and pulled him back down to the table laughing your head off.

 “Less arguing, more eating and drinking.” Marco smiled down and gave your forehead a soft peck. 

 “Okay, but only because you're cute.” He sent you a wink that made your stomach do a backflip. “Ace I’ll put your ass whooping on hold for now. With that being said,  let’s dig in.” Marco pulled a huge plate of meat towards you and let you pick your piece out first like a true gentleman. 

 The rest of the night you spent in pure bliss. Not once did you think about your body or how much you disliked how you looked. You ate without any guilt. Your thigh was connected with Marco’s, but he welcomed it. Loving the feeling of your body so close to his. He was proud to call you his, as were you. 

Portgas D. Ace

 

 “Pull yourself together Y/N” You bring your hands up to your cheeks. “I did say I’d wash the dishes for Thatch.” You look at the massive pile and you regret it instantly, but it got you away from the table. 

 You walk over to the sink and turn the hot water on. You pour a hearty amount of dish soap into the flowing water and watch as the bubbles fill the sink. The smell of the lemon dish soap filled your nostrils. It was calming. The handle squeaked as you turned the faucet off. Rolling your sleeves up you got to work immediately. One after another you washed the dishes. Scrub, rinse, repeat, scrub, rinse repeat. You felt like you’ve spent an eternity washing the dishes, but you weren't even halfway through the pile. You let out a sigh as you rest your arms on the sink. Looking down in the water you met with your reflection. You’ve never been one to look in mirrors or anything reflective due to hating what looked back at you. But for whatever reason you were locked on water. 

 You understand why the man said what he said. How could anyone see beauty in this face in the water? You hated her. You hated you. Tears from your eyes and into the soap water below. 

 “Dammit.” Your hand clashed your reflection in the water out of frustration.   

 “Yeah Y/N, show those dishes whose boss!” You yelped in surprise at the voice. You whipped your head around to see the one and only Ace standing with a huge smile on his face. 

 “Ace, what are you doing here?” Your eyes met him for a moment before you looked away. You hoped he didn’t notice your tears.   

 “Hey, what's wrong?” You should have known better. Nothing gets past fire fist Ace.  He walked closer to you. “You didn’t get hurt did ya?” His eyes studied your body to see if there was any injury. 

 “No, I’m fine.” You turn back around and go back to doing dishes. Ace walked up beside you, grabbing the dish you had washed out of your hand.

 “Here, you wash and I’ll dry.” His wide smile sent a wave of comfort over you. 

 “Thank you.” The two of you worked in silence. You would occasionally glance over at him, watching his muscles flex as he dried the dishes. 

 “Like what ya see hmm?” Busted. Yours eyes shot away from the smirking man.

 “I umm,” Your words stutter as you lose the grip on the dish you were washing. It sank back into the soapy water.

 “I’m just teasing ya Y/N. Look all you want.” Ace bumped his hip into yours playfully. You swayed slightly before side eyeing him. Ace has always been a flirt. The attention he would give you made you feel good, but you know it was all just for fun. Ace could have any woman he wanted. You’ve seen the women that throw themselves at him. You could not compete. A man like Ace deserves a gorgeous woman by his side. Not a fat nobody like you. 

 “Hey Y/N what's on your mind. You sure look lost in thought over there.” Ace’s velvet voice pulled you from your bleak thinking.

 “Nothing.” You hand the next dish over to him.

 “Stop lying. You know you can tell me anything.” His hands reach over yours, grabbing some bubbles. You watched as he brought them up to his face. He slapped the bubble on and made what appeared to be a beard. “This is the beard of a trustworthy, sophisticated man.” He made his voice sound deeper than what it was. You couldn’t stop the laughter that erupted from you. Ace smiled happily. “It’s good to see a smile on that pretty face.” 

 “Haven’t you teased me enough tonight?” You roll your eyes and hand him the last dish.

 “Who said I was teas-” Ace cut himself off and started coughing. “Damn I got soap in my mouth, gross.” Ace flung his hat so it hung on his back. He held his tongue out and turned the water on. He stuck his head under the faucet, letting the water drown out the soap taste. You let out a snort at the sight. He turned the water off and brought his head up. Water droplets fell from his dark locks and rolled down his tone chest. “You think that’s funny huh? Well how about this?” Ace shook his head like a dog, making the water shake out and land on you.

 “Ace you jerk!” You step back and grab some bubbles from the sink to throw at him.

 “Ohh so that’s how you're gonna play. Well then, in that case.” Ace grabbed a huge pile of bubbles and threw them at you. “Take this, BUBBLE FIST.” Ace threw the bubble only for them to float gracefully to the floor.

 “That was so lame.” You stuck your tongue out at the pouting man.

 “Yeah, I’ll admit it was very lame.” He scratched the back of his head as a blush found its way to his freckled cheeks. “Well that’s enough fun for now. Now will you please tell me what made you cry?” You know he wasn’t going to stop until you fessed up.  

 “Fine.” You tell him everything that happened. After reliving the incident you started crying again. “But you know what Ace, he wasn’t lying.” Ace watched as you broke down in front of him. His eyes grew darker and darker by the second.

 “You stay here. I’m going to take care of this.” Ace bent over and placed a kiss on your forehead before turning around. You watched in shock as the jolly roger on his back flexed with every angry step he took.

 “Wait, what?” You snap back into reality and realize what he is about to do. “Wait Ace.” You followed behind him but it was too late. He jumped up on the railing and looked down on the party below.

 “Which one of you assholes made my Y/N cry?” Ace yelled out grabbing everyone's attention. Everyone went silent before the man stood up.

 “Y/N, you talking about that fatass that sat beside me earlier.” The man stood up, he was obviously drunk considering he was slurring his words. “I meant what I said. What are you gonna do about it punk?” Ace turned around and looked at you. 

 “Don’t listen to him Y/N. You're gorgeous. Now sit back and enjoy the show.” Ace stretched out his arms and legs. “Hold on to this for me please.” He places his hat on top of your head before jumping off the rails. You watch as his lower half turns into fire. He floats through the air and drops down on the table where the man was, breaking it clean in half.

 “What the hell.” The man fell from his seat and onto Moby's wooden deck. Ace towered over him with a look that would make any man tremble in fear.

 “You brought this on yourself. This will be a lesson you will never forget.” Ace grabbed the man. “Don’t” Punch “Ever.” Punch. “Talk.” Punch. “About my girl.” Ace landed one last blow on the man. 

 “Fuck you and that ugly bitch.” One of the man's teeth fell out with a little blood. 

 “Guess you didn’t learn huh?” Ace grabbed the man's throat. Flames erupt from Ace’s hands. He slung the man back and finished him off with his signature “Fire fist” Sending the man flying over board. You watched the scene unfold slack jawed. The guy deserved it and your glad Ace took care of him, but it was too much. 

 Your knees drop to the floor, causing Ace’s hat to fall beside you. Your vision was turning red and you felt light headed. Why did he kiss me? Why did he refer to me as his girl? Was he just playing with my feelings?  Why would he fight over someone as undeserving as me? Your mind raced before you face planted into the floor, losing consciousness.

 ~~~~A few hours later~~~~

 “You dumbass. Why in the hell did you think that was a good idea?” Your eyes open to see Marco scolding Ace who had a very prominent knot on his head.

 “You're right I’m sorry. It’s just I couldn't just stand back and let that guy get away for making Y/N cry. Seeing tears falling down her pretty face really struck a nerve in me and I acted on it. I don't regret doing it though.” Neither of the men notice you awake.

 “Make sure you take her into consideration next time before diving head first into a fight. You have a lot to learn.” Marco shook his head and looked over at you. A small smile made his way on your face before he motioned Ace in your direction. He turned his body around and ran to your side.

 “You're awake!” Ace kneeled beside your bed and took your hand in his. 

 “How do you feel Y/N?” Marco asked as he brought  you a glass of water, you gladly accepted it and gulped it down. 

 “I feel tired. Other than that I’m fine.” You lift your body off the bed as Ace grabs the empty glass from your hands.

 “Good. I diagnose you with being overwhelmed by this idiot.” Marco wacked Ace in the back of the head. “ Sadly for you Y/N there is no cure. My condolences.” 

 “Oh no, how will I live?” You say dramatically falling back on the bed. You close your eyes and stick your tongue like a dead animal causing both men to laugh.

 “I’m sure you will manage. But in all seriousness you’ll be okay. Stay in bed for the next few days and get some rest.” Marco walked towards your bedroom door and turned the handle. “I’ll leave you two alone. If you need me let me know. I’m sure you two have a lot to talk about.” Marco winked and walked out of the room.  

 “I’m really sorry Y/N. I hope you can forgive me.” Ace’s eyes looked down. He was riddled with guilt and it hurt you to watch.

 “It’s okay, I’ll forgive you if you answer a question for me?” Ace nodded, signaling for you to continue. “Well I guess it’s more like two. First, Why did you kiss me? Second, why did you refer to me as your girl?” 

 “Well, to answer both. I like you. No, if I’m being more honest. I love you Y/N.” Ace smiled as he looked at you. You became aware of his gaze and grabbed a pillow, shielding your stomach from him. “Don’t hide yourself from me.” He reached out and pulled the pillow away from you.

 “Ace, I'm not worth your love. You deserve someone pretty.” You lower your head, causing Ace to click his tongue.

 “The first part is a lie, but I can fully back that second statement. I know you don’t see yourself as the ideal girl. But in my eyes you are everything I’ve ever wanted and then some. You're sweet, you have the cutest laugh, you're fun to be around and don’t get me started on your hips and as-” You throw a pillow before you could let him finish. “Sorry, I deserved that. But what I’m trying to get at is you are beautiful. I wish you didn’t think so poorly of yourself. I will do whatever it takes to show you just how stunning you are.” Ace cupped your cheek in his hand, rubbing up and down lovingly.

 “Ace, what do you mean by that?” Your cheeks heat up under his soft touch.

 “Well pretty, what I’m saying is. Do you want to do this fool the honor of calling you his girlfriend?” Was this real? Did Ace really just ask you out?

 “Am I dreaming?” You reach your hand out and trace your finger over his freckles.

 “Nope, it’s real life. Here let me prove it to you.” Ace leaned over and planted his soft lips on yours. Your hands found their way to his soft hair, gently intertwining your fingers within the dark strands. Ace pulled away and planted little kisses all over your face. The heat in your face from his actions did not go unnoticed, “You look so cute when you're shy.” The smug man winked, causing you to hide your face in a pillow.

 “Portgas D. Ace.” You muffled from the pillow. “You are going to be the death of me.”

 “No, you're not dying anytime soon. We are going to grow old and wrinkly together whether you like it or not.” Ace stood up from the chair and stretched his body. “Now that sounds good doesn't it?” 

 “Yeah, yeah it does.” You pull your face from the pillow to peer up at him.

 “Good. Now, I think I’ve terrorized you enough for one day.” Ace leaned down and kissed your forehead just like earlier. “I’ll let you get some rest sweet girl.” Ace turned to leave but you reached out and grabbed his hand before he got too far.

 “Ace, wait.” He turned and curled a brow at you. “WIll you stay with me, please?” Ace’s expression softened.

 “Of course I will. Is it okay If I lay next to you?” You nod and scooch over in the bed, giving Ace some room to lay down. He took his hat off and threw it on your nightstand. You could feel the heat radiate off him as he laid down in the bed. It took everything in you not to reach out for him. You were unaware how hard you were staring at him until he spoke up. “You know you could stare at me all night or.” Ace lifted his arm out to you. “Or you could come closer so I can hold you.” 

 “But what If I’m too heavy and I-” You hesitated but Ace wrapped a strong arm around your midsection and nestled you into his toned chest. 

 “You will never be too heavy for me sweet girl.” His lips meet your forehead yet again. “Now get some rest, I’ll be right here when you wake up. Goodnight Y/N, sweet dreams.” You let your tense body relax in his hold. Between the warmth of his body and the feeling of protection being in his strong hold gave you, you fell asleep looking forward to all the nights like this to come.

 ~~Bonus~~

 “Vista move, I can’t see.” Izou whispered  while pushing the large man away from the door.

 “Young love, such a heartwarming sight.” Vista swooned at the sight of you in Ace’s embrace.

 “Cut it out you two you're going to wake them up.” Marco came up from behind and dragged them away from the door.

 “Fine.” Izou rolled his eyes and walked away, Vista followed. Marco made sure they left before spying on yours and Ace’s sleeping forms. He hates to admit it, but you are both very adorable. 

 “They grow up so fast.” He shut the door back before walking to his office. “Damn, I sound like a old man.”

#ace x plussized reader #marco x chubby reader #marco x plussized reader #ace x chubby reader #ace one piece #one piece x reader #marco x reader #marco the phoenix #portgas d ace x reader #ace angst #marco angst #angst with a happy ending #ace x you #marco x you #marco x y/n #ace x y/n #portgas d. ace #onepiece x plussized reader #marco fluff #ace fluff #marco the pheonix fluff #portgas d ace fluff

[yelenasdiary]

Read this or don't, that's completely fine. I was going to explain everything in a reply to an ask that I was sent but an anon that has nothing to do with this, they are lovely! I just think a post on its own is more appropriate.

Below the cut I warn you that topics like, Sexual Assault, Physical & Mental abuse are spoken about. Please do not bother to read this if you're not comfortable. I literally do not expect anybody to read this, I am simply posting this because of how I am feeling towards the asks I received before I went to bed last night.

I just want to say that I've been open about certain things in my life on here and that is simply because I want my blog to welcome everybody (within reason). I want those who unfortunately have been through similar stuff to feel seen, heard and know you are loved! I want those who feel alone to know that you're never alone, I am here for you, my blog is here for you.

This isn't the first time I have received asks about my sexual experiences. A month or two ago I received a spam of asks that I never answered because of how disturbing and outright disgusting they were. Now, after last night, I feel that I need post this. I am not asking for anything in return, I just want to make that clear. All I want is for people to understand the hurt I am currently feeling.

I've always been open on here about the fact that I am a virgin. It's nothing that I feel ashamed about, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I know there are plenty of people like myself who are also virgins. I wish there were more people who are open about being a virgin, if people can be so open about the fact they aren't a virgin, why can't we be open about the fact we are?

So when this anon asked if I was a virgin, I was honest and said yes. My mind was already racing with "oh god, what's next?" and I was just hoping whoever they are was jus being curious. But instead, I feel like they've made me ashamed of the fact I am a virgin, 25 and write smut.

TW; SA, Physical & Mental Abuse Mentioned -

A few of you would already know that unfortunately yes, I am a victim of sexual assault. I was a child and it was something that happened daily for a couple of years. Due to this, I have trauma, PTSD, depression and anxiety. I grew up with little knowledge on the basics of sex because of how triggering it was for me. I couldn't sit in on sexual education classes, I couldn't joke around about penis's with my friends let along look at one. For so long, I genuinely believed what happened to me was normal. I was 12 when I realised it wasn't.

It took me years to even be okay with the topic of sex, to see it in movies or even think of it. My sexuality wasn't something I always questioned, I had a big crush on Bieber during my teen years and there were a few other male celebrities that I found rather attractive, it wasn't until I was 17 that I saw women in a different way and tbh, the feeling I got from thinking about myself in a relationship with a woman was a lot more comforting then it was to thinking of myself with a male.

Did my abuse make me bisexual? Maybe. I don't know. I don't really care. I like women a lot more than I like men, I feel more comfortable talking to women than I do men.

Did my abuse stop me from having 'normal' teenage experiences? Yes. I have never physically been with anybody, I have never kissed anybody nor have I ever been on a date. Is that sad? maybe to some, to me? No.

I have little to no trust in males. Given that my abuser also physically abused me for such little things and mentally, I don't know what it feels like to not have the thoughts I do about myself. This person has ruined so much of my life and has had control over what I do because of the trauma they caused me.

But all that aside for a moment, I am still a human. I am a woman who still feels things. I am learning every day of new things. I have done plenty of research for the things I felt I missed out on in school. I have a best friend who is so fucking patient and understanding with me that he will explain things to me if needed.

Writing & reading smut over the last year has been really good for me. I don't mean that in a weird way, I mean that in a way it has helped me explore things I didn't know were a thing, it has helped me grow more comfortable with sex and that sex is a normal thing. Don't worry, I know what is written in smut is purely fiction, I know what happens in porn isn't real. I am not stupid.

But I can't sit here and say that smut has been really helpful. Some of you might not understand that and that's okay. But I have come a long way with being comfortable and finally feeling like I can be open about things I enjoy.

Back to this anon.

Yes, I am 25 and never had sex. I have never voluntarily sucked a guy off. i have never voluntarily slept with a male, touched a male or seen a males body. Why any of that is important to you makes no sense to me. You have brought back things that I wish to not think about. You have made me feel triggered and as though I shouldn't be writing such topics because of my lack of experience. You had no consideration whats so ever and I believe found it rather funny.

I am feeling so many feelings and having thoughts that I wish to express but I know you'll most likely see it has a sob story and make matters worse. What I do hope though is that if you have read this that you understand that your words and actions hurt. I am not weak for telling you this, I am not weak for not having any sexual experience, I am not weak for asking you to understand that your thoughtless actions were not called for.

I do not need to have sex to know what I am doing. I do not need to have sex with a cis male to know how to write about dicks. I do not need you to make me feel ashamed of this either.

This is already such a long post and I don't even expect anybody to still be reading this but if you are, please, please remember to always be kind! spread love, support and happiness. You honest have no idea what your words and actions can do to somebody. Be aware and be considerate, you would never want your closest friends to feel that way I am currently feeling.

I am sending love to everybody, if you ever need a friend to talk too my DMS//asks are always open. I will listen and be whoever it is you need 💜

[thesirencult]

ICY DIARIES 💍💎

Episode 1 :

THE GIRL THAT NEVER GETS PICKED

Apart from being an evolvement coach by utilising astrology and tarot, I'm also an avid #hypergamy/levelup reader.

I always had strong opinions about how to advance in life and how to make the most of your existence.

I decided to start this series where I will be serving 🍽️ some good ol' soul food and knocking some sense into YOU.

Yup you, the one who always waits for that text back, who doesn't go after her dreams, who has HUGE potential but won't take that mothereffing leap of faith towards your higher self.

I'm tired of getting messages from ladies who beg for a tarot reading or a synastry reading over their scum bag ex who another tarot reader claimed it's their TwIn FlAmE.

ON OUR 1ST EPISODE WE START WITH THIS 💎

[I specifically picked the video above just so you can see the original scum bag's reaction and to be frank ladies ... This is how most men think. NOT ALL MEN. (I love men ❤️)]

"I'm not a pick me girl, I just have never been picked!"

I see you, I feel you my fellow certified lover girls.

I used to be one of you a few years ago. No one asked me on dates, no one flirted with me, no one approaches me on parties. THANKFULLY.

WHY THE HELL DID YOU WANT TO BE APPROACHED BY 17 YEAR OLD JEREMY WHO DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO COOK AN EGG 🍳 ?

Don't let these boys lie to you. They would get it on with a blow dryer if they could. You see them approaching women who are not that "attractive" just to get laid. So, if you don't get approached and you are under 30 take it as a compliment.

Why ?

Because you belong to the TOP OF THE SHELF CATEGORY and boys can't reach that high. That's only for grown MEN.

All jokes aside, your self esteem has definitely taken a hit by not being approached. It can feel very lonely and ostracizing.

What I want you to do is to flip that feeling. What boys like the ones in the video mean when they say "Don't go out with your attractive friends because you won't get approached." is : Don't go out with your friends who are made specifically for the club, who put out and are ready to spend the night with any guy who would approach them (thus looking more approachable).

Maybe you're not a "club type" beauty. Maybe you are a "slow Sunday morning, having coffee at the balcony" pretty or a "spiritual sensual bombshell" type of beauty or an "earth shattering, ocean deep, scorching hot fire, wuthering" beautiful.

My point is, you are winning at the end. Our sensuality is sacred. We are portals to a different part of the universe that allows us to bring life into the world. Don't let anyone shame you, not even your own self.

Sometimes not being approached is a blessing in disguise.

#hypergamous #hypergamy #hypergamyblr #divine feminine #tarot #tarot reading #astrology #soulmate #level up journey #leveling up #level up #feminine journey #glow #glow up #goddess #goddess energy #siren #siren energy #seduction #the art of seduction

[genderkoolaid]

A bit of an odd question, I know you've ranted in the past about people thinking nonbinary people aren't attractive w/o binary alignment, anyways the point is: what are your thoughts on terms like "ceterosexual" and "skoliosexual"?

Personally I like them.

The thing about exorsexism is that it's ingrained in our language and culture. We lack the language to describe being non/abinary/genderqueer because our culture enforces a binary. So I generally support any efforts to improve exorsexism in language, even if I personally wouldn't use it.

It's true that "nonbinary" does not refer to one single gender. But I would argue that "woman" and "man" are vaster categories than we give them credit for. There are people who are attracted to certain kinds of man/womanhood performance but not others, especially when it comes to queerness & ethnic cultures. Not every lesbian is necessarily attracted to the same womanhood performance, and the same goes for gay men & straight men & straight women.

And "woman" and "man" are also not synonymous with presentation. You cannot tell how someone identifies by how they present themselves. But we do use gender coding to call on cultural associations & send a message of what gender stuff we wanna be associated with. A gay trans man may dress much differently than a straight trans man, because he is trying to perform gay manhood. Similarly, an agender person may also perform things associated with gay manhood even if they don't identify at all as a man, because they want queer men to notice them. But the same things could also be done by a straight man who just enjoys things traditionally associated with gay manhood And, going off that, there are ways that nonbinary/genderqueer people signal ourselves as NB/GQ as well. Someone with brightly dyed hair, wearing lipstick with a mustache, in a skirt with a dress shirt, is performing a genderfuck-hood that can signal genderqueerness to others. Personally, I like presenting in a purposefully genderqueer way so that other queer people recognize me as "family" and will be attracted to me because of my genderqueer performance.

So, considering all that... I appreciate language that let's us express love and attraction and appreciation for genderqueerness and non/abinarity. Arguments against ceterosexuality/skoliosexuality tends to go back to "nonbinary isn't a third gender, and some nonbinary people are okay being aligned with a gender, so anything that ever centers nonbinary people and recognizes abinarity is transphobic!!!" which always leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I've seen some people say you can use them but only Ina t4t way, which I also dislike; I am t4t and gq4gq but I don't like the idea that people who are cis aren't "allowed" to express attraction towards abinarity/genderqueerness because they must be chasers.

Also, I have the theory that genderqueer language always faces more stigma and is held to a higher standard than binary language. Partially because it's newer, but also because being genderqueer/nonbinary is viewed by transphobic society as unserious and ridiculous, and has also been associated with people assigned female & "weird femininity," which brings in misogyny (even moreso than transphobia already does). This is not to say people who personally don't want to use genderqueer language are doing anything wrong– but I feel like everytime someone comes up with a term to improve the lack of nonbinary visibility in language, it is immediately lambasted for being "cringe" and "infantilizing" and "just call me a slur" which I feel, on some level, comes from the association of binary things with normality & neutrality & adulthood, and nonbinary things with childishness & queerness.

The end goal of exorsexism is to smother any sign of sex/gender transgression it finds. I feel like the criticisms of nonbinary/genderqueer-focused sexuality are just another expression of this, but done in a "progressive" way. The underlying message is that nonbinary/genderqueer gender isn't as real as binary gender; our validity as people only comes from our identification with binary systems on some level; NB/GQ people always confirm to binary gender performance and we have no ways of communicating our genderqueerness on purpose; attraction to NB/GQ people must be dirty and objectifying and it can only be expressed via the language of binary attraction, even if the object of your affection is hurt by that.

#m. #ask box #exorsexism #nonbinary #mlnb #wlnb #nblnb #ceterosexual #genderqueer

[a-libra-writes]

I absolutely love all of your Mordecai stories! Could you write one where reader is specifically male and how that would affect the relationship? Or a more general scenario where Mordecai makes a habit of fixing reader’s appearance for symmetry, definitely not because he wants an excuse to stand so close to them.

hhhhhh okay i had to prioritize this because i just. i have so much brainrot about this stupid hitman esp with a male partner in particular !!! This will be adjacent to the part 3 of Romantic HC's with him (and I included ur cute symmetry idea in that one instead!) I have a lot of thoughts..

First off, I HC him as gay ace, and that is what I tend to go off whenever I write him. These are my own thoughts and obvs yall can have something totally different! With that said...

He would be slightly more open and have an easier time getting to know a man, simply because of the socialization and gender expectations in the 20's. With women he's always been uneasy because of the unspoken, unknown "expectation" of interacting with them. (though if she wasn't ladylike at all and toted around a gun or dressed masc he'd probs feel otherwise, see him interacting fine with Serafine). Again, 1920's socializing acting as if women are an entirely different creature from men and should be treated as such. So, he'd be a little more accepting of touches and attention from a man because that's more familiar, but we're talking 10% more. Not a huge jump.

As stated in the previous HC's, this is still years of building trust between the two of you before he's willing to acknowledge any feelings. If you're openly gay or bi during this time, he's never been judgmental about it like some might be. Actually, Mordecai doesn't think about your potential love life in the slightest, at least until you two begin to get closer. Then suddenly he's thinking about it.

Attraction has never been something he's experienced, at least not in the way he's heard men talk about women (which, ew, that kind of talk is disgusting). But as you two become closer, he develops emotional and physical attraction toward you; both are confounding and frustrating. It's less sexual attraction and more a very intense physical admiration, even if that person doesn't have conventionally attractive features.

(Personally I think he'd be very attracted to either a very tall and muscular type - similar to Viktor - or a smaller, slender more "pretty" kind of guy. Two opposites on a spectrum, which he admires for different reasons.)

Regardless, it's awful, Mordecai has no idea why this is hitting him just now in his mid-fucking-20s after a whole adolescence of not seeing people that way. The physical admiration comes and goes, but the emotional attraction always hits him like a train when you're both together.

This is probably Totally Normal for close friends who are also comrades that murder people together. This is fine.

Note it's possible you have plenty of other admirers, which gives him even more agitated and conflicting feelings. If it's women fawning over you - even if you aren't interested - that's easy for Mordecai to deal with. Women have bothered him plenty of times, at least until they realize how cold and awkward he is and give up. He doesn't understand why you have to smile and flirt back, but, well, at least that doesn't upset them ....

Men flirting with you is a bit of a different story, especially if you've always been open and comfortable with your own sexuality. The women seem harmless, the men do not. You have this ease and freedom with them that Mordecai doesn't understand and somewhat envies. He can't brush off their attention as being "silly" like the women are; they don't just want to dance with you. It agitates him so much and he struggles to fully articulate why. Maybe a small voice in his head tells him that if he were more normal, maybe you might be just as attentive to him. That you have expressed your trust and affection to him, but he struggles in returning it, so it's no wonder you might seek it elsewhere.

In this time period, there's incredibly little understanding around the concept of asexuality (and even then, it's written as though it's a disease or mental failure). Mordecai has certainly never heard of such things, and he's never struggled with his lack of sexual attraction until his feelings began developing for you. This is why he becomes so jealous if you're free with your love and attention to others. Before you both were ever a real "thing" (but the feelings were very much there, hanging unspoken between you), Mordecai would start huge arguments about whoever you'd be sleeping around with. He hadn't cared for years, and now he does? Seriously, if you smell like another man Mordecai goes from 0 to 100 and barks at you to wash up. You point out that Viktor always smells like sawdust and oil but Mordecai doesn't shove him into the bathroom.

Viktor thinks whatever you two have going on with these spats is just weird. More than once he's yanked you both by the neck and tossed you out of the garage for being so noisy.

(Note if you're someone whose on a similar wavelength as Mordecai, or you simply don't enjoy sleeping around with strangers and prefer close connections, that jealousy simmers down considerably. No, these are not healthy reactions or feelings he has. He has never been a well-adjusted individual. )

Once you both are more of an established ""couple"" (if thats what this strange long-term pining and angsting and yearning that's finally become something of a real Thing can be called), Mordecai still wouldn't consider himself "like that". Not because of shame of being gay, but because he genuinely hasn't felt this way toward anyone, man or woman. You're his exception. He likes you.

All the drama aside... Because of the odd nature of you and Mordecai's relationship, plus his closed-off personality and the odd hours you two keep, no one actually suspects the relationship is romantic for a very long time. Mitzi and maybe Atlas have caught onto something, especially if you're open about your attraction to men, but they assume it's a one-sided crush on your part. Viktor is the only one who picks up that Mordecai might feel the same, and only because he's around you both so often and he sees the odd looks and lingering touches - and notably, how you two interact with him is very different with how you interact with each other. Not his business, but he'd protect you both in a heartbeat. Viktor never says it out loud, but he's aware of other associates or employees who may not be accepting of you two and could be a potential threat. He watches them very carefully.

(And related to that - Atlas doesn't think twice about taking you in and treats you with just as much respect as his other employees, which would be remarkable for a known gay man in the 20's. That's probably how he got you signed onto being a triggerman...)

And related to any threats, Mordecai will go fucking feral on anyone who tries to threaten or hurt you for your sexuality. It doesn't matter if you're playing it cool or ignoring them, he's already got his gun out. Viktor will join in too, but he at least asks if you want to kill them or "just" scare them shitless.

So, in closing ... Yes, the relationship would be a little more complicated with a masc person vs a femme because of the time period and the lack of vocabulary+understanding of Mordecai's own identity. A person whose experienced and very comfortable in their own skin would help him out a lot, whether they're asexual or allosexual, someone whose willing to just sit and talk these things out (even if sometimes he's mortified to even bring it up). If the person is just as questioning and confused, well, it might end up more chaotic, hah.

#I hope I explained myself okay #i tried to organize them but listen theres a reason i dont write out essays #but yeah def inserting my own ace thoughts as well .... its a complicated process of figuring that part of yourself out #esp if its happening in your fucking 20s like lmao. i feel u mordecai #mordecai heller x reader #lackadaisy x reader

[babytarttdoodoo]

This isn't a fic request (though I am looking forward to a lot you've got on your pending list!!) but you write Roy x Jamie so nicely as an established couple. Would love to know your thoughts on how they get together and how that relationship works?

Oh, gosh, well, thank you for asking! This all may well make it into a longer fic one day but in the meantime have my disjointed ramblings.

Firstly, I do think it would be a decent amount of time after canon before they got around to it. Like, a year at least.

Roy is taking steps to work on himself (namely, he has to deal with his temper and communication before they would ever be able to work) and needs space to work through that. Jamie is also experiencing probably the most stable period of his life he's ever had and deserves time to enjoy it.

If we think that Colin and Michael's kiss didn't cause an absolute riot in-universe, I could see Jamie coming out as bi (even if only to take the heat off Colin) and dating a few men publicly. We love a sexy little king getting to safely explore his sexuality with a rabidly invested support network around him. This could also be what triggers Roy to start thinking about him in that way.

Might be controversial but I don't think either he or Roy would have a lot of experience being involved with other men from pre-canon. Between football culture and the potential risk to their careers, women were just an easier option. I do, however, believe Roy knows he's attracted to men (20 years in locker rooms pls), but is just repressed enough to have never seriously considered that his fixation on Jamie might be romantic or sexual in nature.

Realising he feels jealous is a genuine surprise. It's probably still a while before he does anything about it.

Honestly torn between ' a heat of the moment kiss followed by lots of Talking' or 'Roy invites Jamie to dinner and A Very Mature Conversation'. Either way, they definitely need to talk extensively before anything happens.

Roy is Jamie's manager. Yes, I know there are instances of it happening in the women's game and being fine. A relationship between two very famous male sports personalities would, unfortunately, be a whole different kettle of fish.

Therefore they agree to:

Go slow and feel out if this could even work before getting too deep.

Having a few confidantes in the know (Keeley, Georgie, Rebecca, maybe Beard) so they're not in a closed loop of secrecy with each other.

Keeping professional decisions out of it as much as possible.

That last one is contentious because so much of who they are individually and to each other is tied up in football. When they do, in fact, think they can have a serious relationship, it becomes apparent very quickly that they also have to tell the team. One, because it will keep them accountable; two, because the number of times they're nearly caught fooling around is genuinely ridiculous.

Roy smiles at Jamie a lot. It's a bone-chilling sight without context.

Jamie will move to another team eventually. It's what makes sense for his development and career path. I have more thoughts on that trajectory but for this I'll just say that, when he starts getting offers, he does consider that it might make keeping his work and personal lives separate a lot easier.

There are a lot of good times. They understand each other extremely well. They push each other towards self-improvement across the board. Jamie is wonderful with Phoebe. Roy and Simon develop a baked goods based bromance.

There are some tough times. Their careers takes them all over the country and beyond. Distance strains them. They both internalise a lot of negative feelings for fear of ruining what they do have.

(They each think the other deserves better. They are idiots.)

But talking to each other always gets them over the hurdles. Loving each other always brings them back together.

Once Jamie steps back from playing, falling back on modelling and charity work with underprivileged kids, they finally, quietly, go public.

The wedding is beautiful.

#under a cut because it got loooooong #sorry anon #roy x jamie #roy/jamie #jamie tartt #roy kent #headcanon thoughts

[genericpuff]

It's Pride!

CW: Ranting about sexuality stuff, mentions of trauma

So I fall under a few different flavors of the alphabet soup that is LGBTQ+. I'm genderfluid, but more specifically, two-spirited, as a person hailing from Mi'kmaq soil. I'm bisexual but find myself veering more towards men than women most of the time, that's the beauty of the sexual orientation spectrum.

That said, there's one that I tend to focus on during Pride because unlike my gender identity or my dating preferences, I still find myself struggling with one in particular - asexuality.

While it was cathartic - albeit chaotic - to realize that I wasn't my assigned gender or that I was open to being with more than one gender, asexuality has always felt more like some confused self-diagnosis to me. I struggle to identify with it fully not because I don't feel confident in my own ability to identify myself, but because it always comes with that nagging voice in the back of my mind - "you could just be faking it."

Maybe it's 'just' the trauma I experienced as a child and I just need to go to therapy. Maybe it's 'just' some chemical imbalance and I just need to get on medication to balance me out. Maybe it's 'just' me still being in the body I was assigned and if I finally transition, I'll find myself enjoying the concept of sex more. Maybe it's 'just' me being autistic and ADHD and not being able to be interested in things long enough to want to have a regular sex life. After all, it's not like I'm completely anti-sex, I still find enjoyment in the erotic and I'm no stranger to my more 'adventurous' side.

But maybe I'm just looking for a deeper explanation to justify what it truly is - a lack of interest or attraction to something that I just don't need. Why did I chase it all those years ago? Was it the pressure of growing up? The compulsive urge to feel desired and wanted? The fear of rejection? Did I ever really enjoy it, or did I convince myself that I had to because it was what was expected of me?

I'm still not sure how to answer most of these questions. It gets easier, but at the same time, it also feels far more complicated than it should be when I know, deep down, it's not something that I care to worry about because it's not something I desire. If I really wanted to change this part of myself, if I truly believed it was just a medical problem that could be diagnosed and treated, then surely I'd take those steps.

But I don't. Because I don't want to.

And that's okay.

#sorry i didn't mean for this to get depressing LMAO #self post #depression on main #happy pride #pride month #pride 2023

[princessroyal95]

Freedom (Donquixote Doflamingo x Reader)

Warning: This chapter contains sexual content. If you don't like this type of content, don't read on, even if it means you'll lose information about the story.

You know perfectly well that you cannot escape destiny because you are already part of its life. A tortuous life that you never wanted to be a part of. Your parents abandoned you when you were just a child. You have suffered many abuses from other children and from men who only see a simple girl who can open her legs to anyone. You want to die of shame and disappear from the face of the earth. You don't want to live any more and you want someone to strangle you until you see the light and understand that it is time to leave.

You became a slave for the Heavenly Kings. They marked you as theirs and no one could buy you. You were already giving it all away, you were just a toy for those people who think they are untouchable. And one day, while you were in the Sabaody archipelago, your eyes were fixed on a rather handsome boy, with blond hair and a big unforced smile showing how happy he was. You know he is twice your age, but there was something about him that captivated you too much and you are afraid that it is a sin to have wet dreams about him.

You only know one thing and you know that name that anyone who uttered it would be executed. He is a powerful man within the government, just another dog.

Donquixote Doflamingo.

When you knew his name you didn't stop dreaming about him, having wet dreams, wanting to be part of his world full of freedom and not being a slave to anyone else. Only of him. That man full of sins and is a forbidden fruit for any woman. Those girls are too lucky to have him around. I wish luck would fall from the sky, but you have never had hope.

However, one day during the night, you hear someone open the window that gave access to your room and you wake up with some fear thinking that someone was going to rape or kidnap you. And you didn't expect that man in a flamenco coat to appear there as if he were a gentleman about to save his lady. You were impressed, you couldn't articulate any of the impressions. Doflamingo extended his hand as an invitation to free you from that prison. A place that you do not feel happy.

You, without a moment's hesitation, accepted it, being hypnotized for a few moments by the gaze of the Shichibukai. He simply smiles and attracts you strongly to get you out of there in a majestic way: flying through the air. You open your eyes impressed that this man could fly freely through the air, demonstrating that he is a true bird. Perhaps, it is due to his ability, something you heard at that moment. Fatigue overcomes you, so you close your eyes in fear that everything is a dream.

And after a few hours, you are pleasantly surprised to find yourself in a different place than the prison. It was the ship of the pirates of Donquixote, you were in the ship of that famous man. You cowered in your seat, listening to him walk towards you, and it was that man who was ready to raise his hand towards you. You closed your eyes in fear that he would hurt you; however, you never expected Doflamingo to take away that necklace that was a torture for you for many years.

You wanted to cry at that moment. Now you feel free. Before his eyes you were a caged bird who wanted to feel freedom, to have the wind play with your hair and know that you are safe now. He was not going to let anyone hurt you without his consent until you said you would be in his service, that you would be a slave to him.

"No," he replies curtly, leaving you confused, "you will be more than my slave.

You didn't understand those words until you realized why many women want him. He is a dominant man who likes to have in his power everything he desires and he, since he saw you, has always wanted to hold you in his arms and give you all the love you have never had. And when it comes to beautiful ladies like you, he would kill anyone who dared to look at you or hurt you.

You were trained all the way through him to satisfy him as much as he wanted. Do you want to know what his training was? Oh, every time you think about that, you blush and your panties get wet instantly. He trained your body to get used to him and how you should play with him. A long training process that always left you wanting more and wanting to get more. You never reached more. He always left you in that tortuous process that is frustrating for you. Why does he do that to you? Maybe so that you would understand that what he says has to be followed perfectly.

Four weeks of suffering and, in the end, you reached your destination. The place where the great Shichibukai reigned, proclaimed as king of those lands: Dressrosa. How is it possible that this ten-foot man has such a reign? Every time this man surprises you, what he is capable of doing. Although you notice how your body tensions feeling that something is going to happen in that kingdom. You can tell just by looking at Doflamingo who just smiled and kept looking at you. You avert your eyes a little flushed, the man's face was intimidating and it makes you a little nervous. You appreciate how that tall man touches your chin and his fingers are calling for your attention and for you to look at him.

"Tonight will be the big day," he says very close to your face, "I want you to be ready for what is going to happen. His fingers ascend your face, slowly caressing one of your cheeks. "Today you will be mine," he whispers and then walks away as soon as your cheeks have turned pinker than ever.

Your heart has not stopped beating since that man uttered those words: "Today you will be mine". Today will be the day when your wettest dreams will come true, and you will even notice how your throat is drying up as the moment approaches. And the worst thing of all is that Baby 5 has been with you all this time buying you a lace outfit for tonight because Doflamingo asked her to. You just hope it's not too... sexy. You wanted the earth to swallow you up at that moment, since the girl made you try one on and you looked adorable in anyone's eyes. You wanted to take it off, but she stopped you from doing so because she forced you to put on your usual clothes.

You were getting nervous because the time was coming, only a few hours away from going to that man's room. You notice how your panties are starting to get wet every time your thoughts go beyond your imagination. Until, without realizing it, you were biting your lip hard, wanting that moment to come.

And finally, you were already in his room patiently waiting for your lover? You weren't sure, since he said you weren't a slave in his eyes. You are something else to him. A gift from heaven? Lover? Partner? Many words and prayers, and before you knew it, "The Joker" was in the room admiring the great gift in the bed. It was you, that woman who wished to hold her in his arms and free her from that prison of torture.

"What are you thinking about?" You get scared when you hear his voice.

"Nothing," you simply say at that very moment, looking away from him.

"I don't like it when he talks to you, you turn your face away." He was already close to you as he put his hand on your head caressing your hair.

"I can't help it," you confess, looking up at yourself and finding the man helpless. A man who is a sin to touch.

"You are already trained, my little bird." You blush at the sound of that name he gave you a long time ago. "It's time for you to be mine tonight."

And without waiting, he puts you completely to bed, cornering you between the sheets with his legs and arms. You feel small next to her because of the difference in height between the two. And more knowing the nature of Donquixote, a bit dominant that with only the look is able to undress you completely. With so many thoughts you didn't realize that he was already kissing you with some impotence your lips, as if he hadn't tried them for a long time. You groaned softly while you had your hands in his hair pulling strongly.

You laughed knowing perfectly how you were in bed. For him, it was the wick that lights up your heart and your lower self that you were already really wet. He doesn't miss the chance to take off those clothes that were in his way to touch every pore of your skin and, obviously, to see that lace of clothes he asked Baby 5 to make.

He licks his lips at the sight of those sexy clothes for his eyes and also for any man but him. He doesn't even want to think what would happen if someone other than him dared to touch you. He knows deep down that you are not a virgin because of what has happened to you. You didn't have to tell him what happened because he saw every battle, every scar that decorates your body because of those evildoers. He wanted to find them and kill them with his own hands.

You carry your hands to your lace clothes with some shyness almost covering your whole body. Doflamingo smiles seeing that you are still quite shy. His somewhat skilful fingers slowly caress your entire body, exploring every pore of your skin making your lips come out with little sighs of pleasure that made the King of Dressrosa tremble. He loved to listen to you in that way, so submissive to him and his eyes.

He didn't want to take that lace off because you looked so attractive with it, but he wanted to touch those mountains that decorate your chest. And thank God the hook was in front of you so that he could take it off. Your breasts bounced a little when they felt released by that garment and your nipples stood up when you felt the breath of that old man very close to them. You blush even more, remaining a little vulnerable while you feel that tongue that is a little bit too sharp for your body and that you are moaning softly. You want more from him and, as if he had read your mind, one of his hands descends to your lower body, slowly caressing your panties. A sullen laugh appears on his lips alerting you.

"Are you wet already, my little bird?"

"Yes...," you answer bluntly.

"As I like you to be wet for me," he moves that garment away a little, slowly caressing your clitoris; however, his fingers were slipping because of your essence. "Do you want to put it in so badly?"

"Yes.

"The truth is that you are too prepared."She licks her lips again while looking at you. "In fact, I can stick it in you now."

In fact, I can stick it in you now."

"I want him, Doflamingo," you say his name, but he looks at you as if he doesn't want you to call him that in private.

"Have you forgotten what you should call me already?" With his fingers, he opens the folds of your entrance and with one of his fingers he caresses and makes circles in your entrance.

"Please, Daddy."

"That's the way I like it," Kiss your lips again, tasting that sweet and sour taste in your mouth.

And without further ado, he sticks two fingers in where you arch your back in surprise and a great moan escapes very close to his lips. That invasion started to move strongly inside you causing little spasms in your body and you open your legs more and more receiving more and more. That wide smile that decorated Donquixote's face expanded even more, perceiving that you were receptive to his caresses. He has trained you too well during the journey.

He grunts quietly feeling you close those vaginal walls warning that you are about to have your first orgasm that night and he let you free him. He wants to see you more prepared than before because, let's say, his member is not small or medium. Because he is too tall and size matters.

A great vacuum is created in your lower zone while you are trying to recover some air, and with the cloudy view, you see how that man unbuttons his trousers showing his great majestic virility that you only swallow saliva. You have already tried it once in your mouth, too big and with a great thickness that you thought it would never fit in it, but it is possible with training. Besides, you also tried its essence, a bit bitter but addictive.

It holds your wrists to make you turn your body upside down and puts you in a position of four, which makes you blush even more knowing perfectly what their fetishes were. He told you about them and his favourite was this one, because, as we well know, the human is like an animal born from Homo Sapiens. And almost most animals do it this way and for a man it is most exciting.

Without warning, you already notice the size of that limb entering your cavity and releasing a strong moan and, unconsciously, you bite hard on the sheets. It's been years since you've done this and you don't remember how badly it made you sick. However, with him it is different, it feels wonderful that you wished that this feeling of emptiness would not end. Until you feel it moving with some savagery inciting those spasms again. It is as if he already knows every part of you in just a few weeks. That's what you get when you're someone with some experience, right?

You feel his hands resting on your waist wanting to go deeper into the onslaught, listening to every moan for every blow you receive. Your vaginal walls squeeze that great span until you feel it touches a point somewhat unknown to you that you collapse instantly. Doflamingo just laughs internally finding a little button. A little treasure better than the One Piece: the G-spot.

Hit hard that area where you no longer moan, but scream loud and clear. It is as if he wants your sounds to be heard by all of Dressrosa so that everyone knows that you are his and no one else's. And whoever dares to touch you will be a dead man.

And finally, you notice the second orgasm releasing him completely and he does the same releasing his seed inside you. You blush with strength when you notice that hot semen running all over your vaginal area. You bite your lip with some excitement and close your eyes tightly and fall tired.

His hand slowly caresses your hair making you relax a little and fall asleep instantly. You didn't hear his words when you fell into Morpheus' dreams, but you have the feeling that he has marked you for life. You offered your body while he gives you what you were longing for: freedom.

#donquixote doflamingo #x reader #reader insert #doflamingo one piece #one piece #doflamingo x reader #op doflamingo #english version #wattpad

[sweet-cuddlebug]

My Personal Headcanons for the 13 Cards Characters - Jacks

(Below the cut there will be a description/explanation of the referenced terms/flags. If the information is incorrect or slightly wrong, please let me know so I can edit it.)

• Gabriel

Queer: term used to describe or define a gender identity that is different from cisgender. It is used by many people who feel that their identity is outside the traditional gender binary (man/woman) of our society. They may be non-binary, gender non-conforming, agender, pangender, genderfluid, or another gender identity.

Unlabeled: unlabeled sexuality is the term used to describe a person who does not identify with a particular sexual orientation. This could be because they don't feel that any of the existing labels fit them, or it could be because they simply don't feel the need to label themselves at all.

Autism: formally called autism spectrum disorder (ASD) or autism spectrum condition (ASC), is a neurodevelopmental disorder marked by deficits in reciprocal social communication and the presence of restricted and repetitive patterns of behavior.

Dyslexia: previously known as word blindness, is a learning disability that affects either reading or writing. Different people are affected to different degrees. Problems may include difficulties in spelling words, reading quickly, writing words, "sounding out" words in the head, pronouncing words when reading aloud and understanding what one reads.

• Félix

Aroace: it means that the person does not feel sexual or romantic attraction. Those on the arroace spectrum may still feel other types of attraction, whether queerplatonic, platonic, or sensual.

BPD: Borderline personality disorder is a mental health disorder that impacts the way you think and feel about yourself and others, causing problems in functioning normally in everyday life. It includes self-image problems, difficulty managing emotions and behavior, and a pattern of unstable relationships.

• Varu/Waru

Demiromantic: describes people who do not experience romantic attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone, according to the most common definition. Other definitions of this romantic orientation are only experiencing limited romantic attraction, or falling somewhere on a spectrum between aromantic and romantic; the latter definition overlaps with one for grayromantic.

Gay: Used to describe men and women attracted to the same sex, though lesbian is the more common term for women. Preferred over homosexual except in clinical contexts or references to sexual activity.

ADHD: Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental disorder. It is frequently diagnosed in childhood and usually persists into adulthood. It is characterized by inattention (failures in the regulation of attention, moderate to severe distractibility, periods of short or excessive attention), hyperactivity (mainly mental restlessness, not in all subtypes) and impulsive behavior (emotional instability and impulsive behaviors, including motor restlessness) that produces problems in multiple areas of functioning, hindering social, emotional and cognitive development.

• Zontik

Bisexual: this term is used to describe a person who experiences emotional, romantic and/or sexual attractions to, or engages in romantic or sexual relationships with, more than one sex or gender.

Demisexual: refers to people who only feel sexual attraction towards someone with whom an emotional bond has previously been established. Demisexual people do not feel sexual attraction without that prior intimacy and emotional connection.

Anxiety (disorder): Anxiety is a feeling of fear, dread, and uneasiness. It might cause you to sweat, feel restless and tense, and have a rapid heartbeat. It can be a normal reaction to stress. The anxiety may give you a boost of energy or help you focus. But for people with anxiety disorders, the fear is not temporary and can be overwhelming. Anxiety disorders are conditions in which you have anxiety that does not go away and can get worse over time. The symptoms can interfere with daily activities such as job performance, schoolwork, and relationships.

//

This post is intended to share PERSONAL headcanons, it is NOT intended to invalidate other people's ideas/theories or claim that these are correct/better. If you don't like this content you can ignore it or block me.

#13 cards #13 карт #the lands of kings #digital drawing #headcanon #aroace #aromantic #asexual #bpd #queer #unlabled sexuality #dyslexia #gay #demiromantic #adhd #bisexual #demisexual #anxitey #im projecting #i am projecting #lgbtqia #neurodiversity #explanation #13cardsgabriel #13cardsfelix #13cardsvaru #13cardszontik #none of them are neurotypical #is that how you say it?

[jaydenchip404]

IDK what's going on with me anymore…

What is even happening? Why do humans and their feelings have to be so complicated? Why can't everything just be clear-cut and upfront?

Gender Identity: I feel mostly like a man, partially non-binary or female, and a little bit non-binary or female. I sometimes experience a lack of gender or minimal connection to any gender identity. I have a strong masculine aspect to my gender identity. My gender experience fluctuates both in identity, shifting from one gender to another or to none, and in intensity, varying from full to partial gender feelings. My gender varies over time, sometimes feeling more aligned with one identity than another. I often feel a lack of gender where others typically experience a sense of identity. My gender is akin to a fluid version of being a man; while I may prefer to be seen and treated as a man, my gender can shift between various identities. It's fluid, yet always at least somewhat related to a (full) male. I feel sometimes feel half male and half another gender, embodying both aspects simultaneously. My gender identity aligns with femininity but exists outside the traditional gender binary, like it's there but hard to tell, like it's faded but still noticeable. I recognize and embrace all genders, shifting fluidly between those associated with masculinity, femininity, neutrality, and even genderlessness. I'm sort of a girl, but not quite. My gender feels dark, empty, and hollow.

Gamous: When my preferences for the number of partners change, it can vary between having no partners, one partner, or engaging with multiple partners. I am mainly not committed to anyone and have no desire for partners at all. This is like my default setting. I am perfectly happy being single the rest of my life. On other occasions, I have a super strong desire to date someoen, where we're both fully committed to each other, like soulmates. And I'm completely okay being in a polyamorous relationship, but it's not perfered. While I'm primarily inclined towards monogamous relationships, I'm also open to the idea of exploring polyamory.

Romantic Orientation: Romantic attraction occurs infrequently for me, fading into the background most of the time. I've had brief crushes and but faded away. My romantic attraction changes over time, but it always remains on the aro-spec. I enjoy romantic activities but don't feel a romantic desire for romantic relationships in the real world. The intensity of my romantic feelings can vary greatly over time. My romantic orientation is always accompanied by a strong feeling of dread or anxiety. Sometimes I feel romantic attraction and desire for relationships, but I tend to lose interest once I start dating someone. My romantic orientation is highly fluid. I'm someone who enjoys romantic concepts and fantasies but feels little to no desire for real-life romantic relationships or activities. I've experienced more romantic attraction to fictional characters than people irl. It's not always strong or frequent, more like fleeting moments. Sometimes my romantic attraction is infrequent or weak, and it swiftly dissipates upon rejection. I find myself attracted to people of all genders, although individual preferences and experiences definitely influence my attraction. I'm mainly attracted to men and women, but I'm still attracted to everyone. I often have difficulty discerning between platonic and romantic feelings, sometimes perceiving them as indistinguishable or occasionally confusing one for the other. I thought I had a crush on my best friend, but I just really wanted to be her friend, like a platonic soulmate. It's especially challenging when I experience romantic attraction only after knowing that the other person is romantically interested in me first.

Sexual Orientation: My attraction to different genders changes over time, but my attraction stays constant. It fluctuates between feeling asexual, allosexual, or hypersexual. I'm mostly attracted to men and women, but occasionally feel sexual attraction to non-binary other gendered people. My (all types) attraction to people can change from day to day, depending on factors like who I'm around, my gender identity, my environment, my mood, etc. I'm attracted to all genders but with varying intensity, where the intensity of attraction can change over time. I'm not consistently attracted to all genders; sometimes, I feel a sudden, temporary attraction to all genders. I typically don't feel sexual attraction, but occasionally experience brief, intense bursts of sexual attraction. I might feel repelled by most sexual acts or thoughts unless they're initiated by someone else. I occasionally feel attraction but generally lack active interest in pursuing relationships. I feel sexual attraction in my imagination and don't act on it in real life. I experience sexual attraction that I fulfill through self-stimulation, recognizing that I don't engage in sexual activities with others despite having a libido. I enjoy sexual content and fantasies, get aroused by them, but don't desire sexual relationships or actions with others. I enjoy sexual concepts and fantasies but feel little to no desire for real-life sexual relationships or activities. My sexual attraction is infrequent or weak. I'm attracted to all genders, where individual preferences and experiences may influence my attraction. I feel sexual desires but don't feel sexual attraction to others, feeling disconnected.

So does anyone know what any of this is? Sorry for the long post…

#Lesbian #Gay #Bisexual #Transgender #GSRM #MOGAI #SAGA #QUASMINT #QUILTBAG #Queer #GLOW #QANSTIVEM #lgbt #lgbtqia+ #lgbtq #LGBTQIA+ #LGBTQIA #LGBTQ #LGBTQ+ #LGBT #LGBT+ #LGBTQQIA #2SLGBTQ+ #LGBT2SQQIA #Asexual #Aromantic #Agender #Genderqueer #GLBT

[fandomfluffandfuck]

Hi S! I’ve been wondering. I know some (gay/bi/…) men hate it when women write m|m. And well as a woman. I love to read and write m|m. I find it way more intriguing than m|w or w|w. (I don’t even know why.) I mean, I love Stucky and Evanstan and I’ve been writing my own OCs story (without smut, cos I can’t know how it feels to be hard and shit like that, and heterosexualisation)

Anyway so this got me thinking about how you might feel about this. Because I don’t want to hurt people and your opinion kinda matters to me. I look up to you even though I think we’re the same age.

Bye and thx 💙❤️

Hey, sweets!

First, I have to stay, I can completely relate to this. I've had--few and far between, but still, it's happened--people ask/request me to write smut with genderbent stucky with Steve and Bucky both as women. And, yeah, I always have hesitations about it. So, I've never actually done it, lmao. I, personally, always feel weird about it because of the history of men (usually straight men, but, I'm clearly not that 💀 so we'll go with men who are attracted to women exclusively or otherwise) fetishizing lesbians.

Realistically, going outside and touching grass, I'm of the opinion that this is fiction. We're writing fictional stories. It doesn't bleed into my real life. I understand the difference between fantasy and reality, and I try to assert that on my blog. So, in theory, it is harmless. But, funnily enough, just like you, I also don't feel qualified to make that judgment. I always try to mark my fics appropriately--whether it's me, as a man, writing about women or it's me writing about a subject I am not an expert in like history, specific careers or jobs, legal issues, exact timelines of canon, etc., etc.-- that way, appropriate readers will continue if it doesn't bother them, and other readers will move on if it does. Of course, there will always be people who ignore those tags or are outraged by it existing to begin with and... there's no pleasing those people. So. They don't bother me. The tags are there. The warnings are present. So, it's their responsibility as a reader to act appropriately from then on. I can't do it for them.

Anyway, my ramblings aside--

It doesn't bother me when straight, cis women write mlm fanfiction! It doesn't bother me when women write mlm fanfiction at all.

Obviously, there would (and probably will) be outliers in women who have unchecked homophobia/transphobia/general queerphobia that is expressed through their writing but... I have yet to come across that. So, I don't really care.

Think of it, like, I don't have a problem when straight, cis women talk to or about gay/bi/queer men. It only crosses a line for me when those women start to think they know better about the the queer community and talk over queer men. (And the fact that you're concerned about it being strange points toward you not being like that. Not crossing that line.) Or, because I like to explain everything to death, think of it like like acting. I am of the opinion that I don't need every queer character to be played by a queer actor--what I want is fair representation and job opportunities for queer actors in Hollywood across the board, not necessarily the ability for only them to own those roles. Some straight and cis actors might not have the range or ability to play a queer character, and so they don't. However, straight and cis actors exist that can portray queer characters in vibrancy and outside of harmful contexts. What makes those actors good? Their ability to learn and understand queer people as people. Clearly, you, anon, want to learn and understand. That's good!

Fetishizing, I obviously understand, can be some people's fear but with fanfiction... again, it's fantasy.

(That, and, my understanding, is that mlm ships are more common because of men often being written more in-depth and more readily available in media within the patriarchal society we have constructed and because it can be refreshing to completely take yourself out of fantasy and pleasure and that sort of thing when it is so taboo in our society (especially women's pleasure). Which, mlm relationships provide more so than mlw or wlw. So, I can understand the appeal!)

I will say there's a layer to my answer, too, of how much a lot of fandon spaces can feel like women's spaces to me. Obviously, it's not all women, and I know that well. There are lots of nonbinary people and men around here! Though, fandom has been something that has, from my knowledge, been dominated by women historically. And while I love seeing more diversity in fandom as people of all types embrace and love the art that speaks to them with wild passion, I still see a lot, lot of women. So, I don't feel like it's my place as a man to police the space and say what belongs or doesn't belong, y'know? I'm just here enjoying my time. And with all the incredible fanfiction that's out there that has been written about mlm ships by straight women, cis or trans, I wouldn't want to change that.

So, TLDR; I don't mind when women write about queer men, whether they themselves are straight or not. Obviously, there are limits to that, and harm can be done when straight women try to speak over queer men (queer people generally, too), but it seems like with your concern for the topic you'll do just fine. So, go out there and write!

P.S. thinking about sensations in smut... you might be interested in these two drabbles I've written 👀

#asks #fanfiction #writing #thoughts #personal