#my asexuality

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Recently I've been reevaluating my queerness and what it means for me, and it's a really weird and kind of uncomfortable experience.

Everyone always says labels don't define you, they describe you--when your experience changes, the way you "identify" also can change to reflect that. But it's scary to think, "hey, the way I've understood myself and my experience is fundamentally shifting," and losing the sense of stability that comes with having a familiar word to reference.

Over the summer, I dated (!) a guy (!!!!!), which I never had seriously believed would happen--and I actually had romantic feelings for him. I'm pretty sure I felt that way before we were officially together, so I've also now had a crush. Can I describe the difference between that and what I've felt before? Not really, which is also confusing.

But a huge part of the way I've seen myself over the years has been as aromantic as well as asexual. I have an aro ring that I wear every day, along with my ace ring. Knowing what I could and couldn't experience helped me set realistic expectations for what I would be like in a relationship, and was an important part of how I saw my relationship with my QPP.

And now I'm like, well, can I develop romantic feelings for other people? Was this a one-time thing? Was my ability to do that contingent on the fact that it turned out he wasn't actually attracted to women (oh the irony) and therefore I felt utterly unthreatened by him? If I want to date other people, because I would like to be married someday, what am I supposed to tell them about how I function and what they can expect? What can I even expect?

It's overwhelming and so I haven't thought about it much. If I try to frame it positively, I can take some benefit from thinking romantic connection might be easier for me than I'd thought (as in, it turns out to be possible); but without that intentional shift in my thinking, I'm just left with a giant question mark as to what my future relationships will look like--which is bad, because if I don't know what I'm comfortable with in a relationship, I can't establish healthy boundaries. Maybe part of a relationship is experiencing those new things together and working it out as you go...but I also have trust issues and can't imagine conventionally dating someone (e.g. not establishing a strong friendship first) and being able to trust that they won't take advantage of me in some way.

And now even my familiar words don't feel quite right. I still think of myself as associated with aromanticism, but I no longer describe myself that way to other people--I'll generally say I'm queer and then explain a little more without using specific terms. And I know I'm ace, but it's less important to me than it used to be.

I thought feeling more "normal" would be a good thing; it actually just makes me feel weirder.

I'm just hoping that as I continue learning more about myself, I can accept whatever I find out. I want to embrace the uncertainty along the way. It's just hard. Ya know?

#kay can i just catch my breath for a second #queer #asexual #aromantic #ace #aro #my asexuality #my aromanticism

[liberumalas]

Alastor did the gay hand so much already, I have trouble believing that nobody realized yet.

#aroace #aromantic #asexual #hazbin angel dust #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin hotel comic #alastor #angel dust #alastor fanart #angel dust fanart #hazbin hotel alastor #hazbin hotel angel dust #art #fanart #my art #my artwork

[midnightcrisisstuff]

actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.

#queerplatonic #alterous attraction #asexual #if you find this and youre her no you didnt #aromantic #queerplatonic relationship #acearo #qpp #qpr #lgbtqia #love #transmasc #alterous yearning #alterous relationship #fuck you mum i love my girlfriend and youll have no part in it #fuck you mum #transgender

[jerich0two]

A begrudging Happy Valentine's to you all! Stay safe out there, my fellow aromantics ...

#hazbin art #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel alastor #valentines day #aromantic #asexual #aroace #alastor #jeri's art tag for convenience purposes #alastor has my blog in a chokehold

[kateammann]

Happy Ace Week!!! 🖤🤍💜

#my art #digital art #ace artist #ace week #asexual #asexuality #ace #crow #bird art #pride #pride art #artists on tumblr #art #illustration #raven

[aromantic-diaries]

The bisexual to aroace pipeline is pretty much having the right idea and coming to the wrong conclusion. Yeah buddy you're not straight and you're also not gay. No not like that though, the other way around

#aro #aromantic #arospec #ace #asexual #acespec #aroace #aspec #my bi phase was important okay. it had to happen

[nebuleeart]

HAPPY PRIDE!!! ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

#my art #pride #pride month #lesbian #aromantic #asexual #aroace #nonbinary #pansexual #transgender #trans #bisexual #bada bing bada boom we got em tagged #seriously tho happy pride everyone

[my-chemical-ratz]

HAPPY ACE WEEK FUCKERS

#my post #asexual #queer #IS IT ALSO ARO WEEK I CANT REMEMBER

[eosofspades]

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

#oh the experience of being 13 years old and seeing all my friends talking about wanting to have sex and obsessing over it #and being like 'we are all literally WAY too young to be having sex what the actual fuck are you talking about #why are you even considering it when we have much more important things to worry about. like how much middle school sucks' #you know what though. i still stand by this. that was an entirely reasonable thought to have and i WAS being normal about it #anyway #mine #asexuality

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

Also this one is more of a PSA for anyone on my blog but I do think it's super important that Obi-Wan is specifically bi aroace! I know I've focused much more on the aroace part of his identity but I totally want to acknowledge the bi aspect as well. I tend to highlight the aroace side because that's the part of my identity that gets much less representation, and also because although I would identify as bi aroace myself if I had to assign a label I don't typically feel it's necessary for me to do so (so that carries over into how I interact with a character that shares my identity). But basically yeah a huge win on all fronts, I might be louder about one part of it but it is all an an Unprecedented ™ victory for the queers!!!

#kay can i just catch my breath for a second #my asexuality #my aromanticism #obi wan kenobi #aroace obi wan kenobi #star wars #aro #ace #asexual #aromantic

[liberumalas]

Rosies impeccable gaydar is the reason they met.

#art #illustration #my art #my artwork #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #alastor #alastor fanart #hazbin hotel alastor #fanart #hazbin hotel rosie #rosie fanart #hazbin rosie #hazbin hotel rosie fanart #aroace #aromantic #asexual #hazbin hotel comic

[color-picked-pride-flags]

Asexual flag color picked from the celibacy gif

#this was so fucking hard please appreciate my work #gifs are so fucking difficult to color pick #asexual #ace #color picked flags #mod author #celibacy

[nouverx]

Louise never heard about puppy love, cause they don't know that term in France 💔

---------------------------------------------

Lyrics are from Louise by TV Girl ! I was listening to it yesterday and that specific line on the second page screamed Alastor I just had to draw something about it

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin alastor #hazbin vox #radiostatic #one sided radiostatic #digital art #comic #autodesk sketchbook #alastor #tv girl #my art #first time drawing Vox wouhou sorry in advance if he's not accurate ahah #I love the fact that the entire fandom agreed Vox is pathetically in love with Alastor #Alastor would be such an asshole with people having romantic feelings towards him #especially men #that line from the song is so freaking cruel but goes SO hard #“I'm aroace but even if I wasn't I wouldnt even touch you with a stick :)” #aroace alastor #asexual alastor

[jacuzziwaters]

"Who got you smiling like that?"

My friends. I'm so sorry that you can't gain joy from platonic interactions but I'm gonna go back to texting them now.

#my family won't quit thinking I've got a man 😒 #its so irritating #aromantic #aro #aroace #asexual #black and aro #black aro #aro and black #black ace #black and asexual #jay's attempts at communicating

[kateammann]

A lil compilation of ace pride artwork I’ve made over the past year! 💜

#my art #international asexuality day #artists on tumblr #ace artist #digital art #art #illustration #asexual #asexual art

[bloggingboutburgers]

I dunno, sometimes it feels much better to have a neutral word to describe a neutral reality rather than being defaulted to "gay" at best and "frigid bitch" at worst

#no one can know i don't like sex #international asexuality day #asexual #asexuality #ace #my art #nonburger