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sparrowrye · 2 months

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Demi Demon || Alastor x Reader, part 23

Synopsis: soulmate AU where you have the same mark on your body as your soulmate, and if your soulmate dies, you die too. Alastor needs to make sure that his soulmate is safe so he can continue his reign - whatever that takes. Though it looks like we have a couple secrets of our own.

Previous part

Part 23: the starting works

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I lowered my head so the sun didn't blind me through the brush. My nose flared as I drew in my prey's scent. They were completely unaware of my presence, unaware that their life was about to end. My claws punctured the soft earth and I leaned back on my haunches.

I sprang.

My bad leg pinched, causing me to land a hair before my prey. They jumped and zipped through the forest with a squeal. I gave chase on all fours until I was in my full dragon form. I weaved through the trees with ease as I ignored the small pains throughout my body. I wasn't fully recovered but that couldn't stop me.

My prey tripped and rolled several paces. I lunged and landed firmly on its head. I stepped back to look at the dead rabbit. It's energy faded from its body and snaked its way through my nose and into my head. I felt ready to keep running.

I laid down and sank my teeth into the soft, fuzzy flesh. The blood pooled in my mouth and oozed down the back of my throat. It wasn't nearly as good as a Demon's blood. It was thinner and had a bitter taste to it. It was like the comparison of eating bone broth to actual soup. It soothed the hunger pains but wasn't actually filling.

It had been a week after my incident. I would wake up in the middle of night craving the blood. I had dreams and nightmares about the killing, even messing with my memories from the ring fights. The nightmares were horribly gruesome and I couldn't believe that my mind was actually producing these images. I was eating limbs and sucking blood until their skin went pale. I was horrified at myself.

I mostly felt the cravings at night or early in the morning after my gruesome dreams. After the second day I was pulling out my hair and trying to suck on my own blood just to stop it. It actually hurt when I didn't have anything. It felt like my veins were being thinned and my muscles would tense until they were rock solid.

Fortunately, in my fit of furry, I had run into the forest and caught a bat between my fangs. Its blood instantly soothed the tense muscles and I felt like I could breathe again. So I made it a habit to go hunting in the mornings for small creatures like rabbits or squirrels. A single creature could suffice the hunger pains for the day until the following morning.

Husker knew what was happening. When I asked him about it, he told me that he didn't have this issue. It was something he knew Alastor had to deal with as well, hence his broadcasts and constant victims.

Another wonderful thing I get to share with him.

I asked Husker to keep my hunting a secret from Alastor. He was always making comments about my 'desires' and I wasn't about to let him know he was actually right. So Husker sat on the porch and waited for me to return every morning.

I swallowed the last of the rabbit and forced myself to feel satisfied, to no avail. I shifted into my Demon form and wiped my lips of the bitter blood. My eyes blinked back to their normal color.

****

Husker and I sat in the library with a radio on the desk. Outside was wet and cold. A rainstorm had come through from the sea and pelted the side of the house relentlessly. It knocked on the library windows, unable to get in. Husker was changing the radio stations every so often.

The broadcast about Demon-kind had aired only a few days ago. Everyone was in an uproar. Vox had used his broadcast to show them the physical difference between Slight magic, Full magic, and Demon magic. Alastor's had been more informative and gave more finite details.

Humans weren't happy. There were countless radio shows and other tv news where the reporters went back and forth about the topic. Some people were angry that they kept the truth hidden for hundreds of years, while others were angry that Demons were showing their true forms around and acting 'above them'. In my opinion, Demons always did that but people just assumed it was a personality trait.

We always kept the radio nearby to listen in. Some cities tried banning Demons and those with Full magic as a whole. Others formed groups to hunt them down but it didn't last very long. Overlords had enough manpower and magic to stop any hunting party, making others less willing to try that tactic again.

Even so, the death rate in this nation skyrocketed. From hunting parties to riots to territory battle to everything, people and Demons alike were getting killed.

This stirred up a lot of political issues too. On this part of the map, towns and cities operated much in the same way and all followed standard protocols for everything - something created long ago before the Great Collapse. Now, rules were being changed left and right without warning and proper justice wasn't so proper anymore.

According to Alastor everything was going as planned. The disruption and confusion left the Humans divided, meaning most of the Demon population was safe.

Most.

I didn't realize how many were dying, or how exactly, until I received a visit from the princess of Hell herself. She, Vaggie, Husker, and Alastor were chatting in the sitting room when I walked down the stairs. She greeted me with a hug and insisted I call her Charlie instead of princess. Fortunately, she was moving so fast that I didn't have to figure out how to return the hug. It still made me uncomfortable.

"Finally, someone who actually cares about Demon-kind," Vaggie remarked, casting a glare in Alastor's direction. He stood with his arms behind his back, like always, and his smile widened at her comment.

"Did something happen?" I asked. I was in my Human form as were Charlie and Vaggie.

"Hell is getting overrun with Demons," Charlie answered, "It was already overpopulated but now there's more and more Demons running back to escape Humans."

"The humans haven't rioted though. Sure some towns are doing it but nothing big," I said.

"It's been fairly decent from what we've heard on the radio," Husker added.

"Not in other places around the world," Vaggie said.

"Across the ocean Humans are coming together and hunting down anyone with Full magic." She looked so pained as she spoke. "Full magic Humans are being killed left and right, and Demons are running back to Hell and making it way overcrowded."

"What's uh...what's...what's your father doing?" I asked, unsure of how I was supposed to refer to him.

"He's locked in his room trying to figure out a way to handle it. Buildings are being built way high up to accommodate more people and some Overlords are straight up just killing anyone who walks in their territory."

"I don't see the problem," Alastor interjected, "Hell's Overlords surely sound like they're doing their part. I know Cannibal Town is doing well."

"That's not the point!" Charlie and I said at the same time, in different tones. Hers was more ecstatic and mine was a growl. Everyone looked between the two of us, just as shocked as we were. Niffty broke the silence as she chased a bug through the sitting room.

"What about the ring fights?" I looked to Husker. "Are those still active or are they killing the champions? They tend to be Full mages."

Husker shrugged. "I know as much as you since we threw out my phone." After my incident, Husker immediately threw his phone into the ocean. We weren't about to risk him getting to me again. Apparently, Vox was trying to use me to force Alastor not to broadcast until after Vox had done his. I discovered this was a petty rivalry.

I scratched the back of my neck. "They probably killed any children who showed signs of having Full magic. Or even the police went after some rings and just killed any and all of the fighters. That would be the easy way to go about it."

"There has to be something we can do. Demons and innocent Humans are being killed. All because of us." Charlie put both hands over her chest and looked down. Vaggie put a hand on her shoulder as comfort.

I was surprised to see the princess of Hell acting like this. I was expecting her to be just as bad, if not worse, than the likes of Alastor. Yet here she was worrying over the death of Demons and Humans. It was hard to believe she was heir to throne of Hell.

A thought came to mind. My thought. This could be the perfect opportunity to separate from Alastor, to put my plan into action. It was way earlier than I expected but I wasn't about to pass it up.

"What about...a safe haven? A sanctuary of sorts?" I offered. Everyone's eyes fell on me. Alastor pressed through my shields as his eyes narrowed. "You've already done something similar."

"You mean make another hotel?" she asked.

"More like a city. Take over a city and let the persecuted come to us. There's more space up here to expand."

"And fix the relationship between Humans and Demons since even Full mage Humans are being attacked," Vaggie said.

"Yeah...yeah that could work!" Charlie's eyes lit up and she seemed to radiate sunlight.

"Defending it would be a problem, though," Husker sipped on his alcohol. "It paints a big red target for Humans to team up against."

"That's true." Charlie started to pace.

"Fear is a great tool for controlling people's actions," Alastor said, placing a hand on my shoulder. My fingers fluttered as our energy shot through my body. I plucked his hand off my shoulder as Charlie spoke.

"That's not really what we're trying to do..."

"But it might be necessary at first," Vaggie moved her hand to Charlie's back, "as much as I don't want to agree with him." Alastor's smile widened.

"The Radio and Snake Demon aren't exactly something most people want to piss off," Husker added. My pride swelled a little.

"Would people even want to come if they knew he was involved? Would they be too scared?" I questioned, positioning myself so I could see Alastor fully in view.

"Maybe not if we really push that he won't kill anyone at the Safe Haven," Vaggie crossed her arms as she looked at him.

"I make no such promises," he laughed, "but those in the Safe Haven would be far from the top of my list."

"Where would even have it?" I asked, ignoring him, "What city would we use?"

"We could build it here," Niffty appeared behind me. She twiddled into the middle of the circle and looked up at Charlie. "We have a big ocean behind us and a big forest between here and the closest town. Easily defendable." She spoke so quickly but everyone had managed to catch it.

"She's got a point." Husker took another sip.

"We'd have to actually build it here, though. As opposed to finding a city or even one of the old abandoned ones to use instead. We'd have a framework."

"True, but it might not be nearly as defendable," Vaggie reasoned. "Are those buildings even safe? I've seen all over social media about them collapsing from how old they are. Our buildings would be knew and could stand for much longer."

I opened my mouth to counter it but Charlie beat me to it, "We'll have to work out the logistics later. I need to talk to my dad first."

She and Vaggie went to the cliff and teleported back to Hell, leaving a different scorch mark in the earth. I closed the back door and walked right into Alastor who had been standing behind me.

"What?" I demanded.

"You had a similar plan, already."

My eyes narrowed as I tried to keep my cover. He must've seen my memories when we touched earlier. "And what if I did?" I pushed past him and walked through the library.

His shadow slipped past my feet and he formed in front of me, hands resting on his cane and his body leaning forward. "You still seem to think you belong anywhere but my side."

"I'm not a tool to be used, Alastor." It felt strange using his name like that. "My lifespan just got hundreds of years added onto it. You really think I want to spend all that time with you?" My heart was racing at the confrontation.

"I think you'll find it rather hard to live without me."

I braced for something as I walked past him to the stairs. "Oh yeah? Why's that?"

Without turning, he asked, "How are your cravings?"

I stopped in my tracks. His laugh made me grimace for stopping. Now he knew. Of course he would know. How long did I really think I could hide it?

"Those little animals aren't nearly as fulfilling, are they?" My ears twitched as I heard him walk up behind me. I turned to face him and he stretched a sharp claw towards my chin. "They just don't cut it. Wouldn't you agree?"

"No." I carefully pushed his hand away. "They work just fine."

He chuckled again and straightened up. "It's nothing to be ashamed of, darling. It's merely a diet."

"It's more than just that. And it is something to be ashamed of."

"What is the difference between a Human or Demon to a rabbit or squirrel?" he asked.

I fell silent. I didn't have an answer to her than that Humans and Demons were intelligent, that I had my own morals I was wrestling with already. Adding this just made things worse.

I was staring at the ground when he grabbed my chin and tilted it up towards him. The energy bounced between us again and I could tell he was getting a high from it. "You need only ask, darling, and I will provide you with what you need."

I jerked my head away, severing the contact. "I won't need it." I stormed up the stairs to my room.

"We shall see."

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Author's Note:

Well well well, here ya go. I have nothing to say except I really liked writing that last part :P

#alastor the radio demon #alastor x reader #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin husk #soulmate au #soulmates #reqs open #hazbin hotel husk

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anyasathenaeum · 11 months

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Across Time and Space (Part 2)

A/N: Part 2 time for the Eriks!Vash hurt/comfort fic LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! God I love hurt/comfort, and God I love Eriks. Anyways, here, have this, the some-more-hurt-and-mostly-comfort part of the hurt/comfort! For those who missed the first part, read part 1 here!

Pairing: Eriks!Vash x reader

Warnings: Slight violence, literally still just going off episode 18 of Trigun so potential spoilers for those who haven't watched it, still potential spoilers for episode 12 of Trigun Stampede, lots of emotions, a mix of Tristamp and 98 Trigun Vash/Eriks

When you regained consciousness, you found yourself in what seemed to be an abandoned building of some kind, laying against a wall. It was dark, but you could make out that there were a LOT of bandits around. In your immediate vicinity, there were at least 50. Immediately to your left, you saw Lina, who had her hands tied and was being kept under watch.

"Ahhh, lookie who's finally awake!"

A voice startled you, and as you turned your head, you saw a particularly nasty-looking bandit smiling evilly at you, his eyes filled with malice as he approached you.

"I'm so glad you tried going after the little runt who kicked me in the face, cause now you're both our hostages. Now, you can pay for taking out so many of my men. I couldn't have planned it better myself!" The bandit roared, his accomplices and subordinates laughing with him.

That's right - you had heard the bandits passing by your hospital window, talking about going to kidnap Lina as revenge against both her and Eriks, who had turned out to be Vash. Your Vash. There was no way you were going to let Lina get hurt, so, you swiftly climbed out of the hospital window and went after the bandits going to kidnap Lina. You had actually managed to incapacitate quite a number of them before one had successfully snuck up behind you and knocked you out, taking you as a second hostage to use against Eriks.

'Vash,' You reminded yourself, despite the horrible pain it caused in your chest, 'They're using you against Vash. Eriks is Vash.'

You tried to get up to face the bandit, your anger flaring up within you, but you found your arms were tied together behind your back, making it extremely difficult for you to get up without somebody physically lifting you in support.

"You bastards," You hissed angrily, not even trying to hide your hatred and rage, "She's a child! Let her go!"

The lead bandit just shrugged, still grinning evilly, "I don't think so. She decided to cross me. So now, she's paying the price, just like you are. And soon that blonde fool will suffer, too!"

"You keep Eriks out of this!" Lina yelled, but one hard look from the bandit guarding her and him cocking his gun silenced her immediately.

You had to hand it to her - for somebody so young, Lina was incredibly brave. You were impressed by her spirit.

"Don't you hurt her!" You snapped at the guard, shouting and glaring at him with such intensity that the guard visibly flinched, "If you touch her, the minute I'm free, I'll break every bone in your body, do you understand me?"

The bandit leader just laughed before grabbing your hair and tugging your head back, causing you to cry out in pain as he pulled hard, your scalp burning. You heard Lina scream something in the background, but couldn't make it out, your focus tunneling in on the bandit leader as he sneered down at you.

"You shut up or I'll shoot you this instant, you hear me?"

You found yourself just smirking and letting out a cold laugh, refusing to bend to this monster's will, "I'd love to see you try that. Go ahead, shoot me. Then you're one hostage down and Eriks will kick your ass anyways."

This infuriated the bandit, causing him to pull your head back even harder, a hiss of pain escaping you as he did so as you felt the roots of your hair lifting from the force of the bandit's grip. However, the bandit just spluttered and couldn't actually form any comprehensible argument, so you just smiled bigger - you knew you were right. You called his bluff.

However, you being right about the situation didn't stop the bandit leader from pistol whipping you across the face. You let out a cry as the pistol made contact with your cheek, the pain blinding you and the force of the strike sending you sprawling onto the floor. You could hear Lina screaming in the background for the bandit to stop, but the bandit leader just laughed before walking off, leaving you both with the guard.

As you lay on the ground, you could see stars and your vision was blurry from the force of the hit, the pain disorienting you. Your face was throbbing where the pistol had struck you, and from the intensity of the pain, you knew that your face was going to bruise, if your bone hasn't straight up been broken.

"(Y/N)! Are you okay?!"

You heard Lina crying out to you, and you struggled to sit up so you could face her. Eventually, you shifted enough for Lina to be able to see your face, and you just offered her as best a smile as you could, trying to comfort her.

"Oh, I'm fine! Don't worry, Lina. That guy hits like a wimp," You replied casually, your grin hopefully coming across convincing.

It seemed to work, because you could see Lina relaxing slightly as you smiled at her. However, deep down, you were starting to worry. You knew that Wolfwood and Vash were likely already on their way, but there were so many bandits. They were walking into a fight against 200+ bandits.

'Vash... Wolfwood...' You thought desperately, 'Please be careful.'

MEANWHILE

Vash and Wolfwood walked side by side as they approached the abandoned building. Even from where they were, they could see all the guns pointed at them both from every window of the building. That didn't stop them from continuing to approach.

"How many are there?" Wolfwood asked, glancing from window to window.

"About 200," Vash answered, his expression grim as they both continued to approach the building.

"A hundred for each of us, huh?" Wolfwood replied, smirking slightly as he lugged his cross over his shoulder.

"Yup."

Wolfwood just sighed, "Well, that's not exactly fair to them," before uncovering the Punisher, revealing the gun in all its glory.

"Uh, hey! I don't want you killing anybody, alright?!" Vash exclaimed, causing Wolfwood to become exasperated.

"Why don't you just ask me not to breathe?!"

"Thou shalt not kill, remember?!" Vash shot back, looking thoroughly unimpressed with his companion, "What kind of church man are you, anyway?!"

At that, Wolfwood just smiled a bit and laughed, "Woah, déjà-vu, I've heard that before. Now you're starting to sound like your old self."

Vash just offered a small smile in return. Deep down, he didn't really feel like his old self and hadn't for the past 2 years, but now... his old self was resurfacing. Especially now that you were in danger. Vash wasn't going to let you get hurt ever again. Not after how badly he had hurt you in choosing not to let you know he was alive.

The ground right next to Vash and Wolfwood exploded as the bandits fired a warning shot at them. Vash could see the bandit leader standing on the roof of the building, laughing maniacally as he had fired the shot at them.

Suddenly, Vash heard a voice cry out.

"Eriks!"

Vash's expression became one of worry as he saw Lina being held by a bandit, a gun pressed to her temple. And next to her-

His heart hit the ground.

Your face was bloodied and bruised, your eye swollen shut and black. You had an expression of fear and pain on your face, and the bandit holding you also had a gun pressed to your temple, just like Lina.

Rage. Pure, unaltered rage rose up within Vash - somebody dared to lay a hand on you and hurt you. All because you fought to protect Lina, just as he had.

"Woah, woah, woah," Wolfwood muttered, his arm shooting out in front of Vash for a second, "Hang on a second, Stampede. Take a breather."

Wolfwood could feel the anger radiating off of Vash, and he knew that if he didn't do this, Vash likely would've charged in already and gotten shot. Vash, on his end, knew that Wolfwood was right. He needed to recollect himself and focus, otherwise, there was no chance of him being able to get you out of there safely.

Once he had calmed down, Vash took a deep breath and a small smile appeared on his face, prepared to get you and Lina out of there.

"Time to kill!"

The bandit leader roared suddenly, and every single gun pointed at Vash and Wolfwood began to fire. Somehow, not a single bullet hit either one of them, and they both approached the building, bringing up their guns and getting ready for the fight.

"Showtime."

Both Vash and Wolfwood spoke in tandem, continuing to walk towards the building completely unphased.

Once the gunfire started, you and Lina were pulled back from the windows by your respective guards, and everything became a blur to you. It was hard to see as one of your eyes had swelled up, but from what you could see, the bandits weren't doing a great job of actually hitting their targets.

You found yourself smiling to yourself despite the gun barrel pressed to your temple and the aching pain radiating and throbbing in your face. Given the rising panic in the voices of the bandits, you could tell that Vash and Wolfwood were making headway. You were sure they'd be there for you and Lina shortly.

"Hey, what are you grinning about?! Quit that!" The guard holding you shouted, causing you to wince as he yelled in your ear. However, you refused to stand down, just grinning wider.

"You're screwed," You replied with a gently crazy laugh, "You're so screwed."

"Shut up!" The guard yelled again, and the gun barrel pressed against your temple disappeared for a second as the guard raised his pistol to strike you again.

Two gunshots rang out and the pistol the guard was holding fell to the ground as the guard yelped, as well as the pistol that the guard holding Lina had been holding. You flinched, half expecting the blow, until you suddenly felt the guard release you from his grip and heard him and the guard that had been holding Lina hightailing it as fast as they both could in the opposite direction.

When you looked up and turned to see what had saved you, your heart stuttered in your chest and squeezed painfully.

"Eriks," You mumbled softly, being careful not to call him Vash with Lina standing directly behind you.

The look on Vash's face was one of determination and worry as he sprinted over to you and Lina.

"Eriks!" You heard Lina exclaim happily as Vash ran over, quickly pulling both of you into a tight hug, holding you both close.

You couldn't really process what was happening. Vash was here. Vash was alive. Eriks was Vash. Vash saved you. Vash was here.

Vash, Vash, Vash.

"It's okay," You heard Vash whisper to you both, his tone quiet and calm, "I've got you both. Let's get out of here. Let's get you both home."

Wolfwood must've finally taken out the remaining bandits as it was suddenly quiet, and the preacher was walking over to you all slowly, unhurried.

As Vash untied Lina, Wolfwood untied your arms, double-taking a bit as he looked at your face.

"Woah, (Y/N), what happened to your face?" Wolfwood asked, looking over the wound on your face.

"They were a badass, that's what happened!"

You were surprised to hear Lina piping up, her voice excited and completely in awe of you.

You found the heat rising to your face a bit as you looked down, mumbling, "Not really..."

"You were, though! You refused to let the bad guys push you around! You were amazing! I hope I'm as tough as you someday!" Lina insisted, her eyes glistening as she looked at you.

You just smiled as best you could at her, "Wanna know a secret, Lina? You already are. You're brave, kid. Don't ever lose that."

Lina turned a beautiful shade of pink, and as you gazed at her, you could feel Vash's eyes on you. However, you knew that if you looked at him right now, you'd break down on the spot and this was neither the time or the place.

"Let's get going," You spoke up, straightening up and turning to Wolfwood, "Best we get out of here before any of these idiots regain consciousness."

Wolfwood just nodded before glancing over at Vash, who was still looking at you, clearly worried and wanting to approach you. Once Vash looked at Wolfwood, Wolfwood just jerked his head.

"Come on, let's get back to Grandma Sheryl. I'm sure she's worried sick about you two," Wolfwood stated, glancing at Vash and Lina.

Once you had all returned to town, Grandma Sheryl was in an uproar. She ran around, hugging Lina and Vash tightly and thanking Vash and Wolfwood for saving Lina, then she hugged you and thanked you for keeping Lina safe while kidnapped and for protecting her. After the initial uproar, Grandma Sheryl sent Lina upstairs to take a bath and Vash to go get cleaned up, while Wolfwood stood outside smoking his cigarette. You, however, were asked to stay behind in the kitchen with Grandma Sheryl.

"Oh, goodness, your face," Grandma Sheryl exclaimed, bringing her hands up to your face, gently turning your head from side to side as she evaluated it, "What happened?!"

You just winced a bit as she pressed her fingers against your bruise, hissing a bit as you answered, "Ow! I, um, was pistol whipped. I angered the bandit leader when I protected Lina."

Grandma Sheryl frowned at that before going over to her fridge and pulling out some ice that she wrapped into a kitchen towel and applied it gently to your eye, "Here... Let's try to get that swelling down. I'll clean that cut on your cheekbone too, now, and we'll get you some pain medication, dear."

You smiled as best as you could at the old woman, feeling genuinely fond of her, "Thank you, Sheryl. I appreciate you taking care of me."

"It's the least I can do after you protected my Lina," Grandma Sheryl replied, smiling up at you warmly before proceeding to clean the cut on your cheek and providing you with pain medication.

Once you were fully taken care of, you sat in the kitchen holding a warm drink, just speaking with Grandma Sheryl softly. Eventually, the night crept in and you stood up.

"It's getting late and your household has had a long day. I should go. I'm sure Wolfwood and I will have to find somewhere to stay for the night anyways," You spoke up, nodding your head to Grandma Sheryl, "Thank you so much for taking care of us. I appreciate it."

Grandma Sheryl just shook her head, "Think nothing of it, dear. As for a place to stay, why don't you and the priestly fellow stay here tonight? Eriks has a spare bed in his room and there's another spare room upstairs with a mattress in it. I'm certain we can make it work."

You bit your lip, unsure, "We wouldn't dream of imposing on you and your family."

Grandma Sheryl, however, was having none of it and already stood up, "It's settled. You and Mr. Wolfwood shall sleep here tonight. It's the least we can do in thanks to you both."

Suddenly, her gaze shifted to something behind you and her face lit up, "Oh, perfect. Eriks, can you please escort (Y/N) upstairs to the spare room? They will be staying with us overnight. Would you be alright with Mr. Wolfwood using the spare bed in your room?"

"Of course," came Vash's voice as he walked up next to you, looking down at you with a soft smile on his face. You felt your heart rate speed up, but you just nodded, no longer trusting your voice as you followed Eriks upstairs, yelling a "thank you!" over your shoulder to Grandma Sheryl.

However, once you and Vash were upstairs, Vash stopped outside a door before opening it, letting you walk in first. It wasn't the spare room that Grandma Sheryl had mentioned - instead, it was his room. Vash just shut the door gently behind him before turning to look at you, his heart pounding frantically in his chest.

"(Y/N)..." Vash began, his voice shaking as he tried to voice all his emotions, his thoughts, his fears, but the words didn't seem to want to come out.

Vash struggled, tears filling his eyes and his fists clenched tightly by his sides. There was so much he wanted to say to you, but now that you were here, he couldn't find a way to tell you. He couldn't find a way to tell you how much he missed you, how much he still loved you, how he had thought of you every single day, praying you were safe, wondering if you ever thought of him, how he wanted to fall onto his knees here in front of you and cry and beg for your forgiveness even though he didn't deserve it after hurting you the way he did.

A strangled, sobbing, gasping sound escaped Vash, and all he could do was lower his head - he didn't feel like he could even look at you anymore. It hurt too much, to see the hurt he had left in you in the way you stood, in your posture, the lines on your face, the lack of life in your eyes. And now, to see the wounds another had left on you because you had dared to protect somebody Vash held dear... it was as if Vash's heart had been torn out of his chest and stomped on over and over again.

The silence in the room, asides from Vash's quiet sobs, was deafening. Vash had faced many hardships in his life, and had faced many losses and heartbreaks, but nothing rivaled this. The fact that you stood there, saying nothing... every second that passed broke Vash's heart a little more as he felt you slipping from his grasp.

Which is why when you suddenly walked forward and practically tackled him into a hug, Vash didn't process it immediately. Your arms wrapped tightly around him, your face pressed against his skin as you held him tighter than you had ever done so before. Your whole body was shaking, and you couldn't believe that this was happening.

Vash was here. He was alive. And he was here.

Vash couldn't believe what was happening. You were... hugging him. You weren't yelling, or cussing him out, or telling him that you hated him and wanted nothing to do with him after everything he'd done to you. You were holding him as if... you still loved him.

"You're alive," You whispered hoarsely, your voice trembling as you clutched onto Vash as if he'd vanish for real the moment you loosened your grip, "You're alive."

When Vash heard your voice, heard your gentle, almost disbelieving tone, felt your body shaking as you held him, he realized that you really did still love him. Vash immediately wrapped his arms around you, clutching onto you just as you were clutching onto him, burying his face into the crook of your neck, his scruff tickling your skin. He tried so hard to restrain himself but Vash couldn't hold back his tears as he felt the warmth of you against him, inhaled your familiar scent, heard your voice for real rather than in his dreams.

"I'm alive," Vash sobbed out, tightening his grip on you, "And I'm so, so sorry, (Y/N). I-I just couldn't..."

Again, Vash's words failed him. He couldn't explain to you why he did what he did, but before he could even try, you were shaking your head, tears now pouring down your face but a shaky, genuine smile present on your lips.

"You did what you had to, Vash," You got out, "I know that. You did what you needed to survive."

Vash just began to cry harder as he held you tighter - he didn't get it. How could you be so understanding? He had hurt you, and now, you weren't even angry with him. But you were here, with him, holding him, and that was enough for Vash right now.

"I love you," Vash sobbed out, drawing back and pressing his forehead against yours, cupping your face in his hands, "I love you, (Y/N). I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"Stop," You whispered out softly, closing your eyes as you returned the pressure against Vash's forehead, "Stop, Vash. It's okay. I love you. You're alive. God, I can't believe it. You're alive."

You couldn't be more thankful than you were in that moment - Vash was alive. He still loved you. He still wanted you and was here, holding you close. Somehow, all the pain and the suffering that had become your daily companion simply vanished, pure joy and happiness overtaking the space it had occupied in your heart. You couldn't have asked for anything else in your life than to get a second chance with the man you loved.

You and Vash just held each other, sobbing and crying and shaking as you both came to terms with the fact that you were both together again. It could've been hours, days, weeks before the two of you finally separated from your embrace and you wouldn't have cared.

"S-So... what now?" You sniffled, wiping away your tears as you looked up at Vash's tear-stained face.

"I... I don't know," Vash answered truthfully, his voice still thick with emotion, "Just, please don't go. I have no right to ask it of you, I know, but please, (Y/N), don't go."

You shook your head, fighting back another round of tears as you offered a wobbly smile, "I'm not going anywhere without you for as long as I live, Vash."

Vash let out a small chuckle and pulled you back into another hug, "I'm never going anywhere you can't follow me, (Y/N). I promise."

"I'll hold you to that," You replied shakily, burrowing into his embrace again, "You hear me, Stampede?"

Vash leans his head down with another quiet chuckle before pressing his lips against yours in a passionate kiss, "I'd expect nothing less."

The long-awaited kiss set off fireworks in your blood, and both you and Vash managed to channel all your emotions through the kiss, showing one another how much you missed each other, how much you loved each other, how neither of you wanted anything but to stay in this moment for the rest of your lives. From this point forward, nothing else mattered. Vash had you back and Vash was alive, and you were together. It was just you and Vash in the world, and neither of you would trade this for anything.

"So... are we kicking Wolfwood to the spare room, Vash?"

"Oh, you know it. We have a lot of catching up to do, love."

Edit: Tagging people who asked to be tagged + those on my taglist! @aquamarine001, @alphamoon, @ready2readagain, @zukoisbabee (it didn't let me tag you for some reason I'm sorry!), @iceoblivious, @mossygalaxy, @spacioussoul, @ryuukami4

#anya's athenaeum #trigun #trigun stampede #trigun stampede x reader #trigun x reader #vash the stampede #vash the stampede x reader #vash x reader #eriks x reader #eriks!vash #trigun eriks

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etincelleart · 3 months

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I have a lot of weird moods lately, all of it being mixed completely in a chaotic way, but I think it feels nice to figure out some stuff and to think about it o/

I'm thinking a lot about how I experience love in fact, because I always wonder if my affection comes from my desire to get some physical reassurance or just to feel loved because of my own complex family situation. Like even if it takes me time to fully develop crushes or actually fall in love, I always find myself wondering very early in relationships if romantic (or at least romantic coded) stuff could happen between one person or me. And idk I just don't know if that's something pretty ok or not, or if it's just my lack of confidence speaking ? What do I need or want exactly ? Sometimes I feel like my brain is just jumping on people as if I was searching some kind of comfort absolutely, but it's not always something I have control over.

It's confusing, I remember I loved people deeply but it also caused me a lot of pain, and I don't want to go through that again and I felt really free last time I finally felt like I cut off the strings that took me attached to someone too much to the point I would feel bad. It's a real difficult thing to talk or even think about because I now realize love isn't just "we love each other, let's date", there are so much situations, so much nuances, so much needs, so much differences depending of the person(s).

I know I'm demi and super super super super super romantic and also can be super super sexually attracted to someone at some point, it just takes me time, and sometimes it's blurred and confusing, but at the same time I just don't know what to expect or want from a "classic" or "normal" romantic relationship. I want to date yes, but what is it exactly ? How does that work ? How are you supposed to know these codes or norms, how can you be sure you're doing good ?

Sometimes I just wish things could just be like, "we have this strong bond and we both love physical affection, let's just do our thing and decide of what we'd like for us as we go" without just thinking too much, but at the same I'm demi and developing a crush or love can take so much time, and sometimes it's not even a crush it's more but it's not fully romantic either, I can get so lost in all this,,

It feels good to learn and do researches about it tho, because in fact even if I did try and even if I did loved people a lot, I never got into a romantic relationship for real and idk I'm 24 and just wondering how that stuff work. I'm not even pressed by time or anything or what I'm just, really curious and also just trying to understand what could work for me too, or what if I'm just lacking experience and stuff will be clear as I go on, idk

I haven't really thought about all of that for the past few years, mostly focused on uni, and honestly I just felt really good on my own after the chaos of my previous romantic experience. But now after a few years chilling in my corner I admit I start to think about it again, and while I don't actively seek anything or just want it absolutely, I'm just scared of how I would handle things if that does happen again. Especially with all the stuff going on on my side, with family and all

I may be good at art, I'm not that great when it comes to relationships. But I always have been really romantic lmao and it just comes out because I still have this idea of giving a lot to someone. idk when you experience romantic attraction it's just so big and so hard to describe, I just wish I could love myself just as much as I loved someone else in the past

So I've been learning about QPRs, searching and also reading and watching videos, talking about it, and basically I'm learning a lot of stuff about all of the possibilities that exist for relationships. I don't know if my strong love always come from what I experienced at home and I just try to fill the hole, or if I'm just truly like that and love a lot, but either way, no matter when or what happen I just hope things can be smooth, and that I can learn to handle my own insecurities

#just some thoughts about love and attraction and relationships because i admit it's been on my mind a lot lately #qpr #relationship #romantic #love

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cripplecharacters · 16 days

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Mods

[large text: Mods]

Sasza

[Large Text: Sasza]

Hi! My name is Sasza and I use he/him pronouns. I am a disabled artist who loves to write and draw characters like me! I am autistic, (mildly) intellectually disabled and have several physical conditions including-but-not-limited-to dyspraxia, severe hyperkyphosis, cranial nerve diseases (causing double vision, chronic pain and a facial difference among other things), and hypermobile joints. Sometimes I use a cane. I'm very passionate about accessibility and disability representation in all kinds of media - books, comics, video games, and any other kind of art that's out there!

Bert

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Hello! I'm Bert (previously Mason), and I use he/they pronouns. I am a writer who loves to write plays and fiction with characters like me and my friends. I am autistic and have ADHD, I have psychotic PTSD and a DID system. Physical health-wise I have migraines, fibromyalgia, and a lateral lisp. I love talking about representation and ways we can make a kinder and more inclusive space everywhere we go.

Sparrow

[large text: Sparrow]

Hi, I’m sparrow, they/he for me. I’m a disabled artist who makes a lot of disabled characters like myself and probably like a quarter of the world. I have autism and ADHD, among other brain things, as well as chronic pain in both my jaw and my knee and ankle. I also have POTS and some sort of sleep disorder. I am a sometimes cane user as well. I really enjoy research and thoughtful art that makes people feel seen. Aside from that, I am a huge fan of historical fiction and really enjoy fantasy as well.

Rot

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My name is Rot, I use all pronouns including neo pronouns as well as any rot and insect themed nounself pronouns. I’m an artist who loves putting disability in my stories. I’m mostly undiagnosed due to medical neglect and have chronic fatigue, hypersomnia & chronic pain that ranges from mild to debilitating. My known disabilities are pots, ganglion cysts, nerve damage, tics, autism (level unknown), asthma, GERD, anxiety and psychosis. I have a metal implant, use a cane and am mostly verbal and use aac infrequently. I have experience with temporary palsy, needing carers (family members who stepped up, not hired carers) and being in a wheelchair, though I currently don't have any of those.

Patch

[Large text: Patch]

Hey! We’re The Patchwork Quilt but please call me Patch! I use sof/soft/softs, red/red/reds, they/them/their, and ae/aem/aeir pronouns. I’m autistic (level 1, the very high end of low support needs, unreliably/semi-speaking, AAC user), and I’m a system with highly complex dissociative identity disorder (we use we/us and I/me language interchangeably. Please don’t ask who’s fronting). I also have hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, specific learning disorder with impairment in mathematics (AKA dyscalculia), developmental coordination disorder (AKA dysgraphia/dyspraxia), chronic fatigue syndrome, essential (kinetic) tremor, avoidant restrictive food intake disorder, dependent personality disorder, severe auditory processing disorder, psychosis (likely somewhere on the schizophrenia spectrum), and Tourette’s syndrome. I use a rollater that can turn into a powerchair. I love drawing, writing, and playing D&D and coming up with creative ways to incorporate disability into those three things. I will be attending college for a degree in disability studies this fall.

Virus

[Large Text: Virus]

Hello! I go by Virus and I use She/Her but anyone can use any pronouns for me, have fun with it. I'm a writer—mostly fanfiction—who has been in fandom very long and used to be a classical musician. I have Hypermobile Ehler Danlos Syndrome along with it's fun co-morbidities (MCAS, POTS, Gastroparesis, Fibromyalgia, and Von Willebrandes). I also have Pan-Hypopituitarism which is the following: Adrenal Insufficiency, Hypothyroidism, Diabetes Insipidus, Precocious Puberty, Growth Hormone Deficiency, Hyperprolactinemia/galactorrhea, as well as High Estrogen and Testosterone issues. I have Pituitary Dwarfism/Proportional Dwarfism, Myoclonic Epilepsy, and a Speech Disorder. I used to have a Port-a-cath, Picc-Lines, and a feeding tube, amongst many other things. Phew, now that that's over. I love every art form with a favour towards music, writing and the fiber arts. I love seeing representation no matter how big or small especially in medias that rep is often glossed over!

Rock

[Large Text: Rock]

Hi! I am Rock; any pronouns are okay. I am a writer, mainly of sci-fi and fantasy, and I love adding all sorts of disabled characters. I am hard of hearing (mild-moderate bilateral hearing loss) and have profound auditory processing disorder. I have scoliosis, POTS, and lower-body muscle weakness so I am a full-time mobility aid user. I am also intersex; I have several hormone deficiencies among other conditions as a result of my intersex variation. I am excited to join the mod team!

Golem

[Large Text: Golem] Hello! I'm Golem, and I use he/they pronouns. I am a playwright and a poet of all variations within those two styles. I enjoy writing characters in my own communities. I have ADHD combined type, Autism, Anxiety, bipolar 1, Auditory Processing disorder, developmental coordination disorder (dyspraxia/dysgraphia), a medically induced tremor, and a stutter. Along with writing poems and plays and screenplays, I also like to write music and my own songs! I am thrilled to join the mod team and be a part of this blog!

#mod sasza #mod intros #cripplecharacters about #mod bert #mod sparrow #mod rot #mod patch #mod virus #mod golem #mod rock #long post #not writing advice

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btsgotjams27 · 1 year

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fool for you ~ jjk | final

you have to decide if jeon jungkook is perfectly wrong for you.

✨ title: fool for you | ✨ pairing: jungkook x f!reader ✨ word count: 7.7k | ✨ rating: R ✨ genre/au: romance, light angst, fluff | college, fake dating, strangers to friends to lovers ✨ warnings: language, jk is a sweet dummy, but we love him anyway, jieun is just as insecure as reader and jungkook (yes, i'm trying to make y'all feel bad for her), confessions, taehyung's a good friend, time skip, jin's shoulders (you'll understand when you see the photo), yoongi shows up again, kissing, making out, marking, a smol, not so smol erection 🙈, groping, touching ✨ playlist ✨ a/n: okay, so, i'm just not happy with how this fic went T_T i literally have no one to blame but myself! the end of part 4 was actually never supposed to happen, but i wrote it in anyway *facepalm* i was stressed for days bc i'm like how do i redeem this cute, fluffy couple?? *sigh* but i tried my best(?), and i *do* explain why jk did what he did, and if you don't like it, then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk what to tell you. anyway, sorry for the rant, but i just wanted to thank @here4btsfics for listening to me ramble about this fic and talking me through some plot points. ily. ✨ a/n 2: this is also not beta'd bc well, i'm impatient af. so if you see typos, that's why lol. ✨ if y'all want any cute or smutty (must be off anon) drabbles with this couple, just drop it in my inbox :) ✨ Any feedback, reblogs, and asks are appreciated.

[ SERIES MASTERLIST ] prev

Jungkook was ashamed of his actions at the carnival. It wasn't fair that he kept the kissing booth from you. Instead of letting it unravel as it did, he should have told you the truth. He didn't want to do what 'old Jungkook' would have done to make Jieun jealous. Because you had nothing in common with her. You were thoughtful and generous. And he realized he was bringing out a side of you you didn't know you had until he showed up - and that wasn't fair.

But he did enjoy that you took ownership of him, dragging him away from the line of girls. That was sexy for him, but that's beside the point. He made a mistake and needed to make amends before it was too late.

So, he got up early and put on some decent clothing besides his standard oversized shirt and sweats. He double-checked his reflection in the mirror. Before opening the door, he tugged at the collar of the brown flannel and flattened the black slacks. However, he was greeted by none other than his ex.

"What are you doing here?" he deadpanned.

Jieun somehow looked like shit today. With barely there makeup, hair in a bun, an oversized hoodie, and leggings. "Can we talk?"

He stepped through the threshold, closed the door behind him, waited for her to continue, and was displeased to see her.

"I'm…leaving."

Jungkook eyebrows knitted together in confusion, thinking okay, then leave.

"I'm moving back to New York." Jieun had mentioned it when they were still together, but she never made the decision.

"'Kay, have a safe trip then," he mumbled, stepping aside from her. He had places to go anyway.

Jieun put her hand out to stop him. "Kook–we're going to leave things like this?"

Jungkook clicked his tongue. "What do you want me to say, Jieun?"

She shrugged. "I don't know…are you going to miss me? Us? The way we used to be?" Jieun had been kicking herself ever since she had slept with Jimin. She had no idea how lucky she was with Jungkook. She was certain she had lost him and could not get him back. She reasoned that the best way to let go of Jungkook was to start over in a new city, far away from all the pain and suffering she had caused.

Jungkook wasn't made of stone. He'd been with her for a year. Although their relationship was mostly physical, they had fun together. She was fun to party and sleep with, but he couldn't see himself with her in the future. Their relationship was never more than that. Was he to blame? Hers? Perhaps both. Could it be that they hadn't met the right person with whom to do all that 'relationship' stuff?

He shrugged. "Yeah, I guess." Jungkook didn't want to be a jerk. After the fiasco with her and Jimin, many of her friends completely abandoned her. He could tell she was lonely.

Jieun chuckled, reaching for the fuzzy pink bunny keychain attached to his keys. "Remember when you tried so hard to win that for me?"

Jungkook peered at the keys in his hand.

"Was that our first date?"

Jungkook nodded.

"You spent so much money. And I swear that game's rigged, plus that guy wasn't letting you off the hook either," the two of you chuckled at the memory.

"And then at the end, when you won it, you said you worked so hard for it that you were going to keep it." She leaned over, trying to catch his gaze. "See, we did have fun together."

He wasn't sure where she was going with this. Maybe she needed some sort of forgiveness or closure from him to move on with a new chapter of her life.

"I know you hate me, Kookie—"

Jungkook interrupted. "I don't hate you." Even though she has hurt him, he does not believe he will ever hate her, and he will never in his heart hate anyone. "I was upset and hurt, but I could never hate you."

With the number of women Jungkook had dated, one would think he was a fuckboy, but he was quite the opposite. He was always true to the person he was dating, which was one of many lessons his parents taught him.

Jieun smiled half-heartedly. "Kook, you're only saying that because you have a good heart. That is one of the many reasons I will never forget you." She moved in closer, fiddling with his shirt collar. "I know you don't owe me anything, but can I ask one thing from you, and then I promise you'll never have to see me again?"

Was she really going to be out of his life for good? She'd been a menace since she saw you and Jungkook together. But, out of the goodness of his heart, he would trust her one more time. "What is it?"

"Can you kiss me like you mean it?"

Jungkook let out a scoff. "Are you kidding me?"

After everything she's put him through, she dared to ask this of him. Jieun was at the top, having everything handed to her on a silver platter. Only now to be at the bottom, searching for anyone to talk to her. So Jungkook was her last resort because she knew he had a good heart even though she had hurt him.

"I know it's stupid to ask of you, but I love you, Kook. I just…I just want to remember us–you like how we used to be, you know…before…." She paused, not wanting to bring up her infidelity again. Her guilty conscience ate her alive, sucking her in like there was no tomorrow. She knew she messed up a good thing when she asked Jungkook to kiss her, going in knowing he'd say no, but she couldn't help but try.

"If I do this, you'll stop trying to come between Y/n and me?" Jungkook didn't know for sure if she'd go back on her word. But considering she was moving back to New York, he was putting his faith and trust in her.

She extended her pinky, hoping he'd reciprocate. He hesitated but chose the kiss over the pinky promise. He kissed her but felt nothing because he didn't have feelings for her—it was you. Jungkook knew he'd have to tell you about Jieun's kiss. He knew telling you was risky, but he'd rather tell you the truth than a lie.

Jungkook pulled away, cupping her face, gazing into her eyes one last time. "Goodbye, Jieun."

Jieun began to back away. He quickly opened the door to his room, closed his eyes, and exhaled deeply. He now had to find the strength to tell you he had kissed his ex and then confess his feelings. He anticipated you to reject him and move on.

Jieun noticed you approaching as she walked to the hall entrance. Jealousy resurfaced in her body as she realized she'd never get back on Jungkook's good side. Jieun did what she was good at—-she mocked you, saying you'd lost. But she was only saying those things to make herself feel better, even though she was miserable. She was well aware that she couldn't compete with you. Jungkook had fallen head over heels when she saw you kiss him at the party. She wished you would treat Jungkook a million times better than she could.

"I might kiss you," he whispered.

"I might just let you."

Every fiber of Jungkook's wanted to kiss every inch of you. Wanted to know your ins and outs, wanted to see what you loved, what your body craved, but he stopped himself. He thought, what was he doing? This isn't how he wanted to treat you. He wanted to treat you better than anyone he's been with before.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry. I'm being stupid and selfish and thinking with my dick instead of my head," he said, pulling back from you.

You couldn't believe how much you wanted to kiss him despite knowing he had kissed his ex-girlfriend. You hadn't even bothered to ask why he did it. "We're both stupid," your voice trembling, "I just saw you kissing your ex, and now I'm about to kiss you as well. I should...I should leave," you said as you turned to unlock the doorknob.

"Wait–do you even want to hear my explanation?"

You sighed, turning back to him. "What's there to explain Jungkook? You'll always be with girls like Jieun, and I'm not in her league. So I understand if you want to rekindle your relationship with her. People like you deserve to be together."

"So, you won't even give me a chance to explain? And what do you mean, people like us deserve to be together?"

"It's nothing–I…should go before I say something I regret."

"I was kissing her goodbye!" Jungkook cried out because he felt you would leave before he could explain himself.

You shook your head and scoffed. "That's some goodbye kiss. Bye, Jungkook."

"Look, I know you don't owe me anything, but can we just talk about this?"

You weren't sure what else there was to explain. This all started because you decided to shoot your shot with Jungkook. Then agreed to be his fake girlfriend and ended up liking him because he seemed like a decent enough guy. But in the end, it was you who was a fool.

If Jungkook truly cared about you as a friend, he would have told you about the kissing booth. He wouldn't have kissed all those girls in front of you if he was a good fake boyfriend.

But unfortunately, he was neither of those.

"You wanna talk?" you took a step toward him, pressing your hand on his chest, pushing him back. "Let's talk."

Jungkook was taken aback by your sudden boldness. He walked backward until he hit his bed and sat down.

"You could've told me about the kissing booth–as your fake girlfriend, that was unfair. Why are we pretending to date if you want to go around kissing other girls? If you were sucking faces with other girls, Jieun might not have cared, but I'm not her, and I care. I understand you had unfinished business with Jieun, but did you have to kiss her too? I was naïve to believe I could be friends with you because I didn't know who I was kidding when I tried to separate my romantic feelings from you. And, despite my best efforts, I fell for you."

Jungkook had previously had girls confess their feelings for him, but this was different. This felt real---genuine. You sounded like you were speaking from the heart. He's never had a confession like that before. After hearing everything, a part of him wanted to flee. He was afraid of not being good enough for you, especially after his actions. You deserved better than anything he could ever give you. He had no idea what you saw in him.

You stared at Jungkook and then at the floor, waiting for him to say something. "Well, you said you wanted to talk."

He paused to gather his thoughts before moving toward you while maintaining his distance. His heart was pounding in his chest, and his hands were sweating profusely. He was never good at having deep conversations.

"I'm sorry for not telling you about the kissing booth. I did it to make you jealous, to see how far you would go for me. I know it's stupid—you don't have to tell me twice."

Your eyes caught his for just a moment before looking away.

Jungkook let out a sigh. "I'm also sorry about Jieun. I won’t try to explain it further because I should have said no to her. But I was on my way to see you before she arrived. I came to tell you how much I like you and how I'm afraid of being in a real relationship because I'm afraid I'll mess up. And getting to know you over the last few weeks has made me realize you're far too good for me. That you are deserving of better than anything I could ever offer. I understand if you don't want to be friends or see me again, but I felt you should know how I felt about you."

His doe eyes explored your face trying to figure out what you were thinking. "So, what now?"

You shrugged. "I don't know, Jungkook. This whole thing is a mess." He nodded. "Maybe we should just stay friends."

"You still want to hang out with me?"

"Not like how we used to. At least for a little bit."

You needed time to recover. To keep your distance from Jungkook. To regain your footing. Get in the right frame of mind because everything Jeon Jungkook has clouded your judgment.

Everyone had final exams and presentations during the last week of school before the summer break. Fortunately, you only had one more exam before finishing your junior year.

It was a beautiful day to sit outside and study for your exam, so you did just that. You sat down beneath your favorite oak tree on campus, took out your world-lit book and notes, and flipped through your scribbled notes.

"Hey!"

You looked up to see Taehyung running over to you. Great, now what? You thought. "Hey," you replied, thinking you should be nice.

"Where are you headed for the summer?" he asked, inviting himself to sit next to you.

You found it odd because he's never struck up a conversation with you before. "I'm heading to my Aunt's in San Francisco," you said reluctantly, wondering where he was going with all of this.

"Cool."

You set down your book and notes, glaring at him." Why are you here, Taehyung?"

"Damn–a guy can't be curious? Sheesh–what's got your panties in a twist?" Taehyung cocked his brow.

You deadpanned, waiting for him to explain why he was talking to you.

"Okay–I'm here to talk about Jungkook."

You continued to stare blankly at him. You needed to understand what Jungkook had to do with anything. It's been a week since you last saw or spoke to him. You two agreed just to be friends and nothing else.

Taehyung cleared his throat, adjusting his position. "I need you to take him back."

"What? What do you mean?"

"He's been mopey and lovesick ever since you stopped dating. It's quite sickening to see it unfold in front of my eyes. All he can think about is how much he misses you, how much he misses hanging out with you, how much he misses this and that. He literally wears your hair tie as jewelry around his wrist. When you think about it, it's kind of creepy." For a brief moment, he looked off into the distance. "Anyway–all this to say is, for the love of god, please get back together with him. I can't stand him being like this anymore. I'm gonna fucking scream."

You couldn't help but chuckle at his request. It's strange how the tables have flipped. You were head over heels in love with Jungkook, and now you were the polar opposite. Granted, you were still trying to suppress your feelings for him, but hearing him be so lovesick over you made your heart skip a beat.

"He didn't tell you, did he?"

"Tell me what? That you guys were fake dating? He told me what went down after the kissing booth. I told him he was dumb for kissing all those girls if he really liked you, told him he should've just been honest with you from the get-go."

Wow–you definitely weren't expecting this conversation when Taehyung sat down next to you.

"Did Jungkook tell you to say all of this?"

Taehyung gave you a funny look. "What? No. I came here on my own accord. Just because I like to party and sleep around doesn't mean I don't care about my friends. Jungkook has always been there for me when I needed him, so I'm returning the favor. You can accept it as is or continue to make assumptions about my intentions."

"Sorry," you mumbled, "I hope you understand why I'm cautious about everything. But you understand why, right?"

"I get it. Jungkook hurt you by not being upfront about his feelings, but it's never too late to start over again."

"You're a good friend, Taehyung."

He flashed a boxy smile at you. "I know."

Arriving back at your dorm after dinner, you couldn’t stop thinking about your conversation with Taehyung. Your heart wanted to forgive Jungkook right away, but your head told you to slow down because that's how you got into trouble in the first place.

Your room was empty due to you and Lyla’s things being packed up and stored for the summer. Laying on your bed, a ding from your phone went off.

Jungkook 9:27 PM Hey. When are you leaving?

You 9:28 PM I’m leaving tomorrow. My flight is at 2.

Jungkook 9:29 PM Is it okay if I talk to you tomorrow before you leave?

You 9:30 PM Yeah. Meet me outside of my hall. Around 10?

Jungkook 9:31 PM Great! I’ll see you then!

The following morning, you woke up extra early to prepare for whatever Jungkook needed to talk to you about. You stood in front of the mirror, telling yourself, 'No' several times.

"What are you doing, weirdo?" Lyla asked as she came in, brushing past you to get her toothbrush.

"I'm hyping myself up to say no to Jungkook."

Lyla snickered, putting toothpaste on her toothbrush. "Uh-huh. Good luck with that, babe."

"You're very encouraging. Thanks," you said sarcastically.

She placed a kiss on your cheek before beginning to brush. "You're very welcome!"

You could see Jungkook waiting outside your hall's lobby as you walked through it. One thing you liked about him was that he was always on time. When you opened the door, it creaked loudly, alerting him to your presence.

Jungkook peered at you, sending a soft smile. "Hey."

"Hi," you answered with a thin smile, standing next to him.

"You look beautiful today."

Jungkook looked effortlessly good. He could never look bad if you were honest. He could wear a garbage bag, and you'd be on your knees. Today, however, he wore a blue and white windbreaker with a white tee and ripped jeans. You wished things had gone differently for the two of you.

You crossed your arms and mumbled, 'thank you,' curious why he wanted to talk. Perhaps he was trying one last time to convince you to be more than just friends. You'd think about it, but that was your heart, not your head. You knew better, and you'd been practicing saying one word, two letters, and 'no' all morning.

"You wanted to talk to me about something?"

"Yeah, um, I know we're just gonna be friends, and I'm totally cool with that, but I was wondering if you'd mind if I texted you this summer? Not all the time, but occasionally, just to check in on you and stuff?"

Okay, you thought. This is progress. You could do this–texting. It was pretty harmless, right? And it'd only be once in a while. Because one thing was for sure, you didn't want to go all heart eyes for him so quickly.

"Yeah, I think that'd be okay." Jungkook beamed when you said okay. "And where will you be this summer?"

"I'll be at my uncle's in Seattle. Gonna spend time with him and my Aunt. You should come to visit." You let out a chuckle, and then Jungkook realized what he had asked of you. "Sorry–I'm getting ahead of myself there."

"'S okay," you said. You found Jungkook's eagerness adorable. "Anything else?" You were hoping that was the only thing because you feared the longer you were in his presence, the more you'd want to give in to him.

"I hope you have a good summer," he said, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets and glancing at you.

"Thanks."

"I'll talk to you soon?"

You nodded, watching him walk away ahead of you. "Jungkook!" He turned around, his doe eyes wide open. It took everything you had not to say everything that was on your mind, but you had to bite your tongue. "Have a good summer."

His dimple was deeply etched into the softness of his cheek, and the corners of his mouth curved into a smile. He gave one last wave before departing.

When he was out of sight, you breathed a sigh of relief. Wanting to pat yourself on the back because you didn't let on more than you should. Your answers to his questions were short and concise, without hounding for more. Whew.

~ One month later ~

Staying at your Aunt's was great. You loved San Francisco. It was a completely different vibe from southern California. The weather was breezy, the sun was always out, and there were many things to do in the Bay Area.

Halfway into the month and you hadn't heard anything from Jungkook. It's not like you were jumping at every notification when your phone buzzed, but he did say he would text you.

"Why do you keep looking at your phone?" Your Aunt Jo asked, peering at your screen.

You flipped your phone over to hide your lock screen. "I'm not," you countered.

"You're waiting on a boy, aren't you?"

Flashing a thin smile, you quipped back at her. "I'm not."

"He'll call you, don't worry so much. It always happens when you're least expecting it."

Your Aunt's had her fair share of men and women, and tonight was no different. The new guy she was seeing insisted on cooking for her.

"Aunt Jo–how do you meet these guys?" you asked, wanting to know her secret. The new guy, Jin, was young, tall, handsome, and a chef in town with a hot new restaurant.

"Friend of a friend," she said with a cheeky smile. "He's cute, isn't he?"

You couldn't help but give him a once-over. Those shoulders were big enough to land a plane. You shielded your mouth with your hand, whispering, "Super cute."

"Okay, ladies. Are you ready to try my famous dish?" Jin asked, bringing over two plates with seared scallops on a bed of quinoa, apple salad, and butternut squash puree. You'd never had anything this fancy before.

"Thank you, baby," Aunt Jo flirted at the handsome man, reaching for a kiss, which he reciprocated.

A ding from your phone resounded through the kitchen. You eagerly reached for it but stopped yourself.

"You're not gonna see if it's your boyfriend?" Aunt Jo teased before taking a bite of her scallop. She groaned at the heavenly taste.

It was going to bug you if you didn't check. You grabbed your phone and nothing but a measly email. You're not sure why you were getting so worked up. You were the one that told Jungkook you only wanted to be friends, but here you were, glued to your phone in case he texted.

You sighed, trying to get a grip. You had integrity and dignity, and you weren't going to break down just because a boy hadn't texted you.

So, instead, you opened up your camera, taking a picture of this beautiful dinner. Then just as Aunt Jo had said, another ding indicating a picture message was sent to you.

Clicking on the bubble, it was a message from Jungkook.

Jungkook 7:36 PM This corn dog isn't as good as the one we had at the pier.

You 7:37 PM

Jungkook 7:38 PM Where's the rest of the entree?!

You 7:39 PM wdym?? 😂 That's it!

Jungkook 7:40 PM You should demand to get your money back. You were scammed.

You 7:41 PM This is fine dining! My aunt's boyfriend made this. He's a chef at a place called Trestle.

Jungkook 7:41 PM Fine dining, hmm? You like that stuff?

You 7:42 PM Idk. Never really cared for the finer things in life.

Jungkook 7:43 PM I'm offended! What about me?

You 7:43 PM 😂 Are you trying to get me to compliment you?

Jungkook 7:44 PM 😎

You 7:45 PM 😒 You're okay-looking. You should see my aunt's boyfriend. He's mighty fine.

"Earth to my favorite niece in the whole wide world! Remember to eat! You've been smiling ever since you picked up your phone."

"Have not!" you protested.

"My Jin can attest to that. Can't you?"

"Jojo is right. You've been smiling like a creepy doll and have yet to try my food, and that's an insult to me," Jin teased.

"Let me take a picture of you." Jin turned to you, giving you a smolder and pouty lips. "Thanks!" you said, returning to your phone.

"Wait–wait! Jinnie, take your shirt off!" Jo cried as Jin turned back around.

"Aunt Jo!"

"If you're going to make this boy jealous, might as well do it right." Your aunt gave her boyfriend a pouty face and he willingly did what she asked. He tugged his shirt off, telling you to get his best side, which apparently was his back side. And well, you couldn't disagree. Jungkook would definitely be jealous of Jin's worldwide shoulders.

You 7:50 PM

Jungkook 7:51 PM WHY ARE YOU SENDING ME NUDES OF OTHER MEN??

You 7:51 PM Blame my Aunt Jo. She suggested it. Anywho, time for dessert now. Byeee.

You have yet to hear back the rest of the night from Jungkook. It was good for you to be the first to end the conversation because, knowing you, you could text him all night, which would defeat the purpose of just being friends. You wanted to be cautious about becoming friends with him because it was all too easy to cross the line again.

~ Two months later ~

Texts with Jungkook were simple, a little flirty, but nothing more than that. He'd send you random pictures of things he was doing or food he'd be eating, and you did the same. Harmless and cute. Distance from him was a good thing, keeping you from getting in trouble.

Your goal this summer was to explore new things to do and see in San Francisco. Your Aunt and Jin helped by giving you a bucket list.

On today's list was Alcatraz. You weren't a fan of boats, but it was the only way to get onto the island. The nice thing was you had a friend to accompany you on this trip. Yoongi made a surprise visit, checking out a doctorate program in the area. He mentioned wanting to check it when he was your TA, so you thought it'd be fun to explore with him.

Jungkook 1:11 PM Made it to the gum wall.

You 1:20 PM 🤢 Don't get sick. Did you put one on there too?

Jungkook 1:21 PM 😎 Ofc I did. What's your view rn?

You 1:23 PM

Jungkook 1:24 PM Fun. You have a visitor today?

You 1:30 PM Yeah, he's checking out another school here.

Jungkook 1:31 PM Cool. Have fun!

"Who's that? Lover boy?" Yoongi teased.

You glared, tucking your phone away in your back pocket. "I don't have a lover boy," you huffed at him.

"What happened with you two, anyway?"

You shrugged, not really wanting to go into detail about your whole ordeal with Jungkook. What happened, happened and now the two of you were just friends.

"Well, whatever happened, just don't be so hard on yourself. You both probably screwed up, and neither of you is perfect, so learn from it and move on," Yoongi said casually, moving on with the rest of the tour group.

Shaking your head, you chuckled at his words. He was never a man of many words but you appreciate him for caring about you.

~ Three months later ~

You 10:27 AM

What's good here?

Jungkook 10:30 AM

What's good here? You're in Seattle? 🥲

You 10:32 AM YOU'RE IN SF?! 😩 This is like a missed connections ads lol

Jungkook 10:33 AM I guess this is what happens when all we do is send pictures, huh? 😅

You 10:34 AM Guess so lol

Jungkook 10:35 AM Have fun in Seattle.

You 10:36 AM Have fun in SF. I'll see you when we get back to school?

Jungkook 10:36 AM Definitely 💛

"What happened? You look sad," Aunt Jo mentioned when she saw the frown on your face.

"Oh, it's nothing," you stated with a wry smile, stuffing your phone in your bag. Today was not about you. It was about Jin.

"Were you expecting to see your boy while we were here?"

You rolled your eyes at her. No, you weren't expecting to see Jungkook because you assumed he'd be as busy as you were. Aunt Jo invited you to accompany her to Jin's new restaurant in Seattle, and you jumped at the chance. Okay, so you thought there was a chance you'd see Jungkook while in town. Unfortunately, luck was not on your side.

"I–no–I mean, maybe."

Aunt Jo stood before you, raising your chin and forcing you to look at her. "Sweetheart, it's okay to miss him or want to see him even though he hurt you. It's only natural, and you can't deny what your heart wants."

"Exactly–" Jin interrupted, "The heart wants what it wants," he said, kissing Aunt Jo's cheek from behind.

You debated if you should text him back, but what would it do? What would you even say? Hey, after thinking about it, I kind of wanna be more than friends? You were the one that initiated being friends again. What kind of person would you look like? Being super wishy-washy with your decisions. It was hard to keep your sense of worth when it came to Jeon Jungkook.

Throughout the rest of your trip to Seattle, you were good. You didn't text him besides when he would send you photos here and there of activities he was doing in San Francisco. You were proud of yourself for not giving in to your wants, and you stood your ground.

Returning to San Francisco felt bittersweet because you assumed Jungkook had already left. You didn't want to ask where he was going next for fear of sounding nosy or needy. You'll just have to guess. Maybe he was already back in SoCal.

"Knock, knock," Aunt Jo said, holding your door open. "I know we just got back, but Jin invited us to a special event at his restaurant tonight. So get your cute little butt showered and dressed up, 'kay?"

You chuckled, shaking your head. "Free food? I'm there."

Aunt Jo whistled when you walked down the stairs in your outfit. The only semi-nice thing you packed was a black slip dress. Then you threw on a black leather jacket.

"You couldn't have chosen better shoes?" Aunt Jo asked, gawking at your pair of black and white checkered Vans.

"What? I wanted to be cute and comfy," you said, pulling the strap of your bag over your head, letting it drape across your body.

When the two of you arrived at the restaurant, you expected it to be packed, but it was completely empty. You got out of the Uber and waited for your Aunt to get out of the Uber. You turned around only to see her smiling like a lunatic.

"Aren't you coming?"

Jin called your name and waved you over as he exited the restaurant. You cast a glance in his direction, curious as to what was going on with them tonight.

"It's just you, sweetheart, have fun tonight!"

"We forgot to mention it's a private event for you," Jin grinned, sending you a wink. He stepped into the Uber, and then they were off, leaving you utterly confused on the sidewalk.

A high-pitched ding from your phone went off. Opening your bag, you checked your phone to see a text from Aunt Jo.

Aunt Jo 6:22 PM

Gonna stay at Jin's tonight.

Please be responsible. Love you.

Her text was cryptic and vague, leaving you even more puzzled. You sighed as you turned to face the restaurant and walked to the door. When you first walked in, the atmosphere was quite cute and quaint. Many tables had been cleared away, leaving one in the middle of the restaurant. Someone was sitting with their back to you, and when they heard the door close, they turned to see you standing there.

"Jungkook?"

He got up from his seat and walked over to you. He was dressed in his favorite color, black. A black open button down, tucked into black joggers, black combat boots, and finished with a thick silver chain. The biggest bunny smile you'd ever seen on him adorned his pretty face.

"What are you doing here? How–how did you–"

"I might have done some digging, called around, and got ahold of your Aunt's boyfriend."

Your jaw opened and closed, amazed by how sneaky everyone was–including Aunt Jo and Jin. "So you planned all of this?"

Jungkook shrugged. "I had some help from your Aunt. She's a pretty cool person. Jin too." You couldn't stop smiling, and your cheeks were beginning to ache as a result. "Do you want something to eat? Because I'm hungry, and the food smelled delicious while I waited, "He smiled.

You nodded in response to his question. He extended his hand, and you accepted it without hesitation. When your hand found his big warm ones again, your heart raced at a million beats per minute. He escorted you to the seat across from him, pulling out the chair and pushing it in while you sat.

You felt so flustered and scatterbrained you didn't even hear when Jungkook called your name. "Hmm?"

Jungkook chuckled. "How was Seattle? Did you like it?"

"I liked it a lot. It reminded me a lot of San Francisco. Minus the gloom," you giggled. You mentally kicked yourself when you realized you had just giggled in front of Jungkook. It was too hard not to get all excited over this. So you took a deep breath to ground yourself and remember that he is just a boy–a friend–nothing more.

A server greeted both of you, handing you the menu. Everything sounded so fancy, and for half of the items, you needed clarification on what they were. Nevertheless, it was free, so you'd try anything.

After placing your orders with the server, the pair of you couldn't stop smiling at each other like young teenagers in love. It was pretty nauseating if someone were watching the two of you.

"Ahem… you're growing out your hair," you said, finally breaking the weird smiling contest between you.

Jungkook touched the hair resting on the nape of his neck. "Yeah, I thought I'd try it and never had it this long before."

"I like it."

Your compliment made him look away, a sheepish smile plastered on his face, showing off his dimple.

The rest of dinner continued. You both groaned at how delicious everything tasted. It's no surprise that people enjoyed fine dining, but you didn't enjoy the cost. But one rule Jin lived by was that he would not charge people an arm and a leg just to eat good food. He thought it was ridiculous and vowed never to do it again when he owned his own restaurant. And you thought it was very honorable.

As the last course came out, you ordered the coconut custard while Jungkook got the chocolate cake, one of each, so you could enjoy the desserts instead of picking one.

"How is it?" Jungkook asked when you took a bite.

"It's good," you swallowed, "but it might be too coco-nutty for me."

Jungkook set his fork down after taking a bite of his cake. He pushed the small plate toward you. "Here, take mine. I'll eat it if you don't like it."

"Jungkook, we're supposed to share! I can't let you do that."

"It's fine! I don't mind, honestly!" He pushed the cake further to you while taking the custard away from you. You felt he wouldn't give up, so you let him have it.

After dinner, Jungkook insisted on taking an Uber with you to make sure you got back to your Aunt's okay, and then he'd take off to his hotel for the night. As the car arrived at Aunt Jo's, Jungkook followed after, walking you to the door.

You turned to Jungkook. "Thanks for dinner. It was a lot of fun."

Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck. "I didn't do much. It's all thanks to your Aunt and Jin for helping me set everything up."

"Yeah, I know, but you put a lot of thought into it too, and I really appreciate that."

He nervously toyed with his lip ring, letting it flip back and forth. "Um, well, I guess I should say goodnight, and I'll see you when we get back to school?"

Your eyes flickered to his. "Do you want to come in? My Aunt's gone for the night."

"Are...you sure?" Jungkook stammered.

"Yeah, we can watch a movie or talk."

"Uh, okay. Let me tell the driver. Be right back."

The time was almost nine, so you opted for a nightcap. You grabbed a bottle of wine from Aunt Jo's cupboard and two glasses, setting it down on the coffee table before pouring one for you and Jungkook.

Jungkook quickly finished his glass which made you chuckle. Was he nervous? You didn't take him that type of guy.

"Why did you come to San Francisco?" you asked after taking a sip of your wine.

He chuckled. "Is it not obvious?"

You could take a stab at why he was doing this, but you needed him to say what he wanted.

"I'm shooting my shot," he said casually.

Trying to hold in a grin, you stopped it by devouring the rest of your wine glass.

Jungkook turned his full attention to you. "I couldn't stop thinking about you all summer–what you were doing if you were happy or sad, lonely. I wanted to call so many times, but I didn't know if I could. That's why I only sent texts since they were less intimidating."

"You could've called. I would've picked up."

"I know, but I didn't want to mess up being your friend 'cause I'm not good at this stuff, and I've never just been friends with a girl or even known how to date. But all I do know is you make me want to learn how to do all that stuff."

"To learn how to date or be my friend?

A beat passed before Jungkook answered, "Both, I guess? I just want to get to know you, so I wanna do whatever you wanna do. But that's if you want to..." he trailed off.

The buzz from the wine began warming up your cheeks, and the invisible walls you had up were starting to crumble. Jungkook's rosy lips looked too luscious not to want to try again. "I...really, really want to kiss you."

Jungkook gulped, unsure of what to do next. He didn't want to screw this up, but he also didn't want to pass up an opportunity to kiss you. His gaze shifted from your eyes to your cute nose, then to your lips. He lingered on your lips, trying to recall how they tasted. But it'd been far too long since he'd kissed you.

"I want to kiss you too, but I don't want you to regret it afterward."

You shook your head. "I won't." You shifted closer to Jungkook on the couch, your knee brushing up against his as you leaned in, waiting for him to do the same.

Jungkook brought his hand to cup your cheek, gazing into your eyes, wanting to confirm if this was really what you wanted. "Are you sure?"

"Positive," you said as you closed the gap and pressed your lips against his. His other hand cupped the opposite side of your face, drawing you closer to him. Your lips continued to explore each other softly and slowly as if time had stopped to allow you to discover what you had been missing.

You withdrew, only to find yourself straddling him. Jungkook's eyes widened as he realized the new position. However, he didn't mind it one bit. When his hands fell to grip your waist, urging you closer to him, your entire body buzzed. It didn't take long for Jungkook to become aroused by this heated make-out session, his cock twitching in his strained pants. You tangled your fingers in his hair, causing him to groan in your mouth while you smiled into his. Then your hand reached for the thick silver chain around his neck, gently pulling him as close as you could.

When he pulled away, you let out a quiet whimper. His lips began to trail wet kisses down your jawline, leaving soft purple bruises on your neck. His hands dragged up to your shoulders, where your dress's delicate straps lay. His fingers tinkered with them, debating whether to slide them down, so you decided for him. Your hand reached out to take the straps off, but Jungkook stopped you.

"Sorry, I'm sorry," Jungkook said breathily, nuzzling into the crook of your neck.

"No...No, you're good. I'm sorry. I got a little carried away."

Jungkook leaned against the couch, shifting himself from beneath, hoping to adjust the erection straining in his pants. "As I said, I'm fine with taking things slowly, I'm not in a hurry, and I'll wait as long as it takes if it means I get you in the end."

It took everything in you not to want to rip off your clothes and his right at this moment. But he was right because you didn't want to fuck this up, either.

"You just know the right things to say, huh?"

Jungkook laughed and nodded. He leaned forward, asking for a kiss. "It's getting late, and I still need to pack for my flight tomorrow."

You slid yourself off of him to a standing position, adjusting the strap, just begging to fall. "Let me get an Uber for you."

The following day, Aunt Jo knocked on your door, asking if you were decent enough for her to come in. She covered her eyes as the door opened. "We good in here? No cute, naked boy in your bed?"

You laughed. "No, Aunt Jo. No naked boy in here."

"Darn," she teased, handing you a cup of coffee. "I'm surprised he didn't stay over."

To be honest, it would have been far too easy for you and Jungkook to fuck without first properly establishing what you two were. Again, you tried hard not to rush into things with him, but it was difficult not to.

"He was the one who stopped it from going any further, actually," you commented.

Aunt Jo took a sip of her coffee, nodding slowly, surprised at your words. "Interesting."

"Yeah...interesting."

"Well, at least you know he's trying to do things the right way this time, so that's gotta count for something?"

She was right. You'd wanted and hoped to do this thing with Jungkook correctly. Let's not fuck it up this time.

Over the last couple weeks of summer break, you and Jungkook constantly texted, called, and video-chatted. You couldn't wait to get back on campus to see him again.

As you settled into your new apartment with Lyla, the boxes in your new room were piled high. You reached for a box on your tiptoes when you felt two hands snake around your waist and a kiss press against your shoulder. When you looked over, you saw a happy Jungkook wrapping his arms around you.

"Hi," he whispered into your ear before kissing your neck.

You mumbled a 'hi' before squirming away from his embrace, proceeding to finish your task before he rudely interrupted. Your hand reached into the box, holding onto the fairy lights you loved so much.

Jungkook sat on your bed, watching as you strung lights up on your wall. You crept on the bed, attempting to string the lights behind Jungkook, but he refused to move, so you crawled over him. When he suddenly leaned backward, pulling you on top of him, you yelped.

"Jungkook!" you cried, playfully hitting his chest, trying to break away from his hold, but he drew you back toward him for a kiss.

"One," Jungkook whispered, connecting his mouth to yours again. "Two."

"Why are you counting?"

He grinned from ear to ear. "Cause I owe you 100 kisses, remember?"

You rolled your eyes. "Forgot about that, and I paid good money for that, too," you laughed.

"Mm…I didn't," Jungkook pressed another kiss on your lips. "Three." He placed another on your jaw, causing your skin to burn hot underneath his lips. "Four."

"Jungkook," you whined, "I have so much to unpack."

"I'll help you later, but right now. I just wanna kiss you for a while."

You groaned. "Fine."

Although your and Jungkook's relationship began in an unusual manner and had its share of ups and downs. You wouldn't have made the mistake of foolishly falling for someone other than him.

#jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jungkook x you #jungkook x reader #jungkook fluff #jungkook college au #bts fic #bts fanfic #bts x reader #bts x you #fic: fool for you #college au #fake dating

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ceilingfan5 · 1 year

Note

Prompts to sink your teeth into 27 and Taakitz please and thank you!

“Balls to the walls, can you believe it’s been ten years since graduation?” Taako is laying upside down on Kravitz’s couch, kicking his feet in the air aimlessly.

“Not on my balls or my walls,” Kravitz decides, snorting. He pulls the laundry out of the dryer and dumps it in a basket, frowning as static zaps him. “It’s truly wild to think about. I don’t think I’m going to go to the reunion, if they even invite me, you know? Like, I think I was weird enough in high school that I don’t even get recruitment attempts for MLMs-”

“You just haven’t met the right one yet,” Taako chastises. “Maybe Pampered Chef is for you.”

“I think I’m more of a Tupperware bitch.”

“I’d love to keep you in a Tupperware. I’d poke holes in the top for you and everything.” Taako flips over and rights himself, woozy and red in the face.

“What, like a grasshopper?”

“Nah, like a cool snake I found. But just a widdle one.”

Kravitz is oddly touched. It really adds a layer onto the thing he and Taako are absolutely, one hundred percent talking around: ten years since graduation also marks ten years since they made a marriage pact and swore a blood oath behind the Denny’s.

A decade is long enough, yeah?

Yeah, lots of people get married by the time they’re 28. It’s normal. We don’t want to be unnormal.

I think that ship has sailed, dude.

Forget the ship. It doesn’t have to be real. It’s just…you know, motivation.

A kick in the ass. Yeah.

Something to keep us looking. Because- romance is hard!

You think it’ll get less hard?

No, I don’t think it will, Taako. I don’t think it will.

Kravitz looks at Taako. It was stupid back then. It’d be stupider to bring it up now. He’s been head over heels for an embarrassingly long time. It was a joke, mostly. A stupid teenager thing. They’re almost thirty, for fuck’s sake.

He brings the basket over to the couch and sits beside Taako. Their sides touch, and Taako is warm.

They’re almost thirty, and Taako’s twin is getting married. And here they are, roommates, alone, together. Kravitz doesn’t know the last time he went on a date, but the last time Taako did was about four months ago. It’s not looking good on the ‘surely some other, perfecter guy will come around and Kravitz will be able to transfer some of the love beating under the floorboards to some regular, unsuspecting dude’ front.

“It’s just wild,” Taako sighs, clearly on the same choo-choo. “I mean, I’m happy for her, like-”

“Like between her and Barry I’ve been ready to flush myself down the toilet for-”

“So long. SO long!”

“Physically painful,” Kravitz agrees, not least because it made him incredibly aware of his own bullshit. “Like you said, so happy for them, and I mean, obviously w- I’ll show up to the wedding with bells on-”

“You bet your sweet ass we will. But like, you think my sad jester ass is getting any jingling action?” Taako gives him a sorrowful puppy dog face, like a pathetic court fool left in a cardboard box in the rain, and Kravitz laughs so hard he worries he’s going to pass out. He imagines those jingle bells a’janglin’. But he’d better not.

He’d really better not.

“It’s not that I don’t…It’s- It’s not like I want to make either of them feel bad...” Kravitz starts.

“Definitely not.”

“But I almost want to- cause a bit of a scene?” He looks at Taako. Taako perks up, tugging down his imaginary jester hat for Serious Mode.

“I love causing scenes,” Taako says affectionately. “You know this.”

“I know this, and I agree with you,” Kravitz replies, grinning. Warm laundry forgotten. Socks, stay unpaired. Fuck your romantic life right up the same alley as his own. “What are you thinking? I’m hearing gears turning.”

“Industry music doot-dooting,” Taako says with a nod. “Listen.”

“Listening. You know I’m listening.”

“It- I mean, just for fun, right, nobody gets hurt, it’s fine, everything is fine? It’s for funsies.”

“For funsies,” Kravitz echoes.

“It would be soooo funny if we got engaged right before Lup’s wedding.”

“Yeah?” Kravitz hears the ocean in his ears. Maybe he got a seashell stuck in there. You know how he is, always getting seashells in places.

“Yeah! Yeah. Just as a fun prank, and for no other reason. There’s no way this could backfire.”

“Uhuh,” Kravitz says. “It- It would be easy, even. People say we act like a couple all the time. Haha.” Hopefully Taako doesn’t notice that Kravitz said ha-ha instead of laughing. It’s probably fine. Totally regular, even. He’s? Normal.

“Absolutely.” There’s a manic look in Taako’s eyes, and Kravitz could lose himself in them like a stupid little boat in the Bermuda Triangle. Geometry never was his strong suit, and this current is pulling him under. How many times in his life has he gotten involved with something stupid because of Taako? Not to mention all of the stupid ideas Taako’s encouraged him to follow through on.

God, is that why he minored in trombone?

He’s so fucked. There’s no way this is ending well. There’s no way they walk out of this unscathed.

“It would be funny,” he admits.

“So funny.” Taako nods enthusiastically, like this is the greatest idea he’s ever had in his life. Fuck all those other bargain bin ideas, this is their ticket to the limelight. Fake dating.

Fake engagement, even.

Kravitz’s hand grips the upholstery of the couch, not even a full inch away from Taako’s hand.

“Why not?”

#taz #taakitz #the adventure zone #tazb #fan5fics #the adventure zone balance #taz balance #taakitz fic #thank you!!

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wandering-winchesters · 1 year

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Premonitions

Pairing: Dean x Reader, implied feelings. Word Count: 2,239 Summary: The reader has always had visions, but now they're changing and causing her physical harm. Trigger Warnings: Mentions of death, implied vomiting and pain. Requested: Yes, by anonymous. The reader has visions of future events since her childhood, but since the last hunt and burn of a witch her visions are getting more powerful and begin to affect her health condition. The visions weakening her, she suffers from heavy migraine and also dizzy spells and nausea. She tries to hide it from the Winchesters but as observing as they are, they instantly recognize her pale and sick appearance. A/N: Requests are open! I hope you enjoy my take on this request, please let me know!

Masterlist

Visions are something I’m very familiar with, I’ve had them since I was a child. They felt like dreams, mostly peaceful and serine. Predicting the things that were to come, always happy occasions. I knew the days to come that I would enjoy, the places we’d visit and joys I’d experience before they ever happened. It was a good thing, I was thankful for it. It brought reassurance in times of doubt, joy in times of sadness and it didn’t really affect my day to day life. Dean would try to use it to their advantage, running lottery ticket numbers by me in hopes of me having a vision of him winning, he hadn’t been successful yet. Sam always rolled his eyes at Dean’s childishness, but would listen intently to whatever I recounted for them.

Since the last hunt that we been on my visions had changed, they were no longer predicting joyful occurrences, they were dark. Foreshadowing death and torture, often continuing on for twenty or thirty minutes. The amount of time a drastic change to the maybe five minute long visions that I was used to having. They caused me to get sick almost every time, a wave of nausea taking over the second the vision ended. My body felt weak, muscles ached and I had a headache that had taken up permanent residence since these new visions had started. I was doing my best to keep it from the boys, not wanting them to worry about me anymore than they already did. They already watched me closely, concerned that I would get hurt while on a hunt. If they knew about this, well, I don’t know what they would do. Probably bench me, if we are being honest. I had managed to keep it to myself, thankful that most of the visions seemed to appear at night, to the point where I could almost call them nightmares. Yet I knew better, I know that they’re predictions, some of the things I have already confirmed to be true. A train derailing in Michigan, a bus crash in Ohio, the list goes on. Every time I have one, I search the news headlines, praying that I won’t find what I am looking for. However, it’s always there, a day or two after it happens.

For the life of me, I cannot figure out why my visions had changed, the only plausible explanation was the witch that had escaped on our last hunt. Despite our every effort, she had fled moments before we would have killed her. My guess is a spell, what spell you might ask? No clue. All of the research I had been doing, has been turning up empty. No explanation for the full body symptoms I had been having in response to the visions.

Which is how I wound up here, hugging the toilet in the bathroom connected to my room. My head is spinning and throbbing, the pit in my stomach nauseating and unbearable. My body was aching from the constant shivers running through my body. There was nothing I could do but sit and wait, and hope that it faded overtime. This was by far the worst one, it had pulled me in and completely overcome my every thought and action. Flashes of red and orange flames, the screams of innocent people trapped within the building, being burned alive or smothered by smoke. All of it so real and vivid, forcing tears to fall from my eyes as I laid there paralyzed, unable to snap out of it, until it was over. Just as abruptly as it had begun, it was gone. I was back in my room at the bunker, sick from fear. I had painstakingly made my way to the bathroom, my eyes closed and my feet shuffling. Avoiding any sudden movements due to fear of passing out or throwing up. Judging by the time on my phone, it had lasted nearly an hour, fifty-three minutes to be exact, the longest vision I had ever had. I remain on the floor of the bathroom for almost an additional hour, taking slow, even breaths, waiting out the nausea. Which eventually faded, I had hoped that the migraine would fade too, however no luck. I opened my eyes, allowing them to adjust to the harsh light in the bathroom, a light that I didn’t recall turning on. I stand slowly and turn to head towards my bed, hopeful that the rest of my sleep would be uninterrupted and dreamless.

I am awoken by a knock on my door, followed by a voice calling out my name. I ignore it, hoping they’ll go away. I am tired, so tired. The thought of getting out of bed felt like the most insurmountable task, I was already being lulled back to sleep by the warmth of my blankets.

“Y/N, it’s almost noon, are you okay?” Sam enters the room, his voice much louder than I would prefer. I would rather he not be here at all and to just leave me to my sleep.

“‘M fine, Sam. Go away, tired.” I mumble, throwing my arm back behind me and motioning for him to leave, not bothering to open my eyes. I hear light shuffling and I assume that he is leaving, but I am proven wrong when I feel the bed next to me dip down. Sam has not left, but come to sit beside me. I open one eye to glance at him, but close it again quickly, the lights flooding my senses with searing pain. His hand comes to rest on my shoulder and when I still don’t stir to look at him again, he speaks.

“What’s going on with you? You might think you’re doing a good job at hiding whatever it is, but you’re really not. Dean and I both know that something is going on that you’re not telling us about and its getting concerning. You’ve been sleeping a lot, in constant pain when you’re awake and you’re pale as a ghost, Y/N.” I know he isn’t going to leave me be without an answer of some sort. So I do my best to come up with one, something that sounds believable but not too concerning.

“Just haven’t been feeling the best, must be food poisoning or something.” I whisper, again willing that he will leave me alone to sleep. My body physically exhausted, head throbbing, pain pulsating through my every nerve. He shifts again and I rejoice, hoping he’s headed for the door. But instead, his hand comes to rest on my forehead, a hiss leaving his lips as he makes contact.

“Shit, Y/N, you’re burning up.” He says, tugging back the blankets that I have pulled up around my face, revealing my sweat soaked t-shirt. “How bad?” I hear Dean mutter from the doorway, the sound of his foot steps indicating that he has crossed the room to stand next to my bed as well. I hesitantly open my eyes, squinting to try and lower the amount of light that is allowed to enter.

“Feel for yourself, Dean.” Sam says, standing up and letting Dean take his place on the bed next to me. Dean rests his hand against my forehead, grimacing. It must be bad judging by the look on both of their faces. I push myself up into a sitting position, tugging the blankets up to cover my bear legs. Painfully aware of how little clothing I have on compared to them, not that they hadn’t seen me dressed like this before, it just made me feel weak in this moment.

“I’m fine, just need a shower.” I mumble, I throw my legs over the edge of my bed and begin the short walk to my bathroom, ignoring both of Sam and Dean’s protests and offers of help. I barely make it three feet before my world is spinning, darkening at the edges and crumbling around me.

My body collapses, colliding with the hard wood of the floor and I can faintly hear my name being yelled, but it is all drowned out by the vision dancing before my eyes. This time it is different, it’s not strangers in a different state, it’s Bobby, Ellen and Jo. They’re surrounded by vampires and it doesn’t look good. All of them injured in some way, Bobby worse than the girls. They stand in a circle, their backs together and weapons raised in front of them. I know what is about to happen and I try to scream, try to warn them in some way, to move faster to run! But nothing comes out, my voice but a silent whisper in my throat. I am forced to watch as the vampires kill them, their bodies falling to the ground and, and then it is gone.

My eyes fly open a scream bubbling out of my throat, terror filling my every nerve ending. Dean’s above me, his voice shushing me, telling me that I am safe, nothing happened and that everything is okay, but nothing is okay. Bobby, Ellen and Jo, They’re all in danger.

“Sam, call Bobby right now, tell him not to go on that vampire hunt.” Sam hesitates, his eyes trained on me and filled with questions. But there’s no time. “Now, please! I had a vision!” I snap, putting all of the emotion I can into those words, trying to convey just how urgent they really are. Sam nods, still silent, but pulls out his phone and leaves the room to call Bobby. I take a couple of breaths, trying to focus on my surroundings once again. I am on the floor, Dean cradling me in his arms, his eyes trained on my face concern and confusion written through every inch of his skin.

“How did you know about that hunt, Y/N? Bobby just told us about it five minutes before we came in to wake you.” He says, his hand brushing a strand of hair out of my face, his touch comforting me slightly.

“I-I, promise not to be angry with me?” I ask, letting out a rather large sigh. He hesitates, but nods in agreement and I begin to explain. “You know about the visions that I have, they’re normally happy predictions. But ever since the last hunt, with that damn witch that got away, my visions have changed. All of them are now predicting death and tragedy. I’ve had one everyday this last week, all of them have come true. I’ve seen it on the news or in an article online. Before today, they were all strangers, but now, today, it was Bobby, Ellen and Jo. I couldn’t bear to let anything happen to them Dean, God what if I wasn’t in time?” I ask, tears beginning to form in my eyes. He hushes me, reassuring me through his touch, pressing a quick kiss to my forehead. Sam comes back into the room, his phone still clutched in his hand. His face slightly pale and concern etched throughout his features.

“I got through to Bobby, he’s okay. So are Ellen and Jo. They were about to leave when I called, but they stopped when I told them you had a vision. Bobby wants to talk to you about it all when you are feeling up to it, Y/N.” He says, I nod in response, relief washing over me, they’re okay. They’re not going, which means they won’t die.

Dean takes a minute to repeat what I had told him to Sam, the tension in the room growing every second. Sam is angry, Dean is angry and I am tired, oh so tired. These premonitions have really started to take it out of me physically and mentally. I listen to the boys discuss the steps that need to be taken, the witch has to burn. Sam volunteers to go and Dean agrees to stay behind with me.

“You should both go, I’ll be fine here on my own.” I argue, trying to offer them a reassuring smile, but neither of them buy it. Sam shakes his head, his mouth parting to answer but Dean beats him to it.

“In your dreams sweetheart, there’s no way in hell that we’re leaving you here alone. You fainted, you could’ve smacked your head if I hadn’t caught you as you fell. One of us is going to stay with you until this witch is dead. Don’t even bother arguing, you’re not going to win.” He adds on the last part as he notices my enthusiasm towards disagreeing with him. I close my mouth, exhaustion sweeping back over me. Dean notices and carefully carries me back to my bed, again ignoring my protests. He sets me gently on the mattress and I eagerly roll onto my side, resting my aching head onto the cool, soft surface of my pillow. He tugs the blanket over my body, pressing another kiss to my forehead. He makes up some excuse about it being the best way to check my temperature, but I don’t mind. He plants himself in the chair by my bed, pulling out his laptop. His presence enough comfort and safety to lull me into a peaceful sleep. They’ve got me. Sam is going to go take care of the witch and I will be okay. Those were my last thoughts before I was pulled into the blanket of sleep.

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annabelle--cane · 7 months

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at the risk of sounding Really Bad and with the caveat that I mean this in the most pro vaccine pro taking Covid extremely seriously way possible. I think conflating mental health/personal hobbies and habits with physical health and wellness in the time of a literal plague is actually part of why we are where we are. The example of opting out of treating a broken bone that you used is the perfect metaphor because that’s something that mostly effects the person with the broken bone. But if you’re treating every goddamn thing a person can do like it’s potentially viral it makes it easy to sound reasonable to advocate for a lot of vigilance against individual choice. Is this totally off base? do I sound like a reactionary dipshit conspiracy theorist right now? Just… there’s something here right??

even if that isn't the total root cause, I definitely think you're onto something. covid is literally a deadly and disabling viral disease, so the logic of "your actions regarding this impact others" makes total sense, but I think a lot of people took that language and framework and just ran with it, hoping that alluding to a deadly and disabling viral disease would lend credence to their arguments about mental health and personal decisions.

for example, I am constantly thinking about this take I saw on a post about drug decrim in december 2021. it's so special and dear to my heart, it makes no fucking sense at all. the only copy of the screenshot I still have saved is just the tail end of it and it has my annotations, so bear with me.

first, just for a moment, I love the complete breakdown of internal logic. we need to end the stigma around drug abuse but I think using heroin is exactly like being anti-vaxx. we should decriminalize all drugs but you'd have to be craaaazay to think that legalizing them is okay. wait until this person learns that some addiction treatment programs include prescribing opioids as a harm reduction measure.

second, using heroin is in no way like being anti-vaxx oh my god, and this person just can't tell. they are explicitly applying viral disease logic to mental illness* and choices about individual bodily autonomy. I don't want to minimize the pain and distress that can come from having a loved one with a substance use disorder, but in no world is it the same thing as refusing to go to cvs a few times to get a free vaccine against, once again, a deadly and disabling viral disease. groundbreaking leftist take: drug use makes you a hazard and drain on society and honestlyyyy you should think about the consequences of your actions before choosing to become an addict :/

I don't have screenshot for this next example, but I've also seen this language and mindset particularly come up a lot in discussions about "bimboism," makeup, and cosmetic surgery. I've seen several discussion threads where a woman finally just says "look, I'm adult, I've thought about this, I've interrogated myself, and ultimately I still want to do it and I can do what I want with my body" and the comeback to usually is "are you stupid? this isn't just about you, you're a member of a society who inherently expresses your ideology through your choices. the personal is political, stop being so individualistic. what will young girls think when they see you in a miniskirt calling yourself a slut?"

again, the final point that's meant to win the argument is that your choices about your body aren't fundamentally your own but Society's, because other people can look at your body and have feelings about it, they may even want to emulate it. for an added bonus, this one doesn't just use viral disease logic, but also borrows heavily and directly from the really basic conservative idea that women are less people and more living mannequins that you can dress up and use to show off the ideals of your social group. you can't wear that, men might see you and think you're a hussy and then it'll be your fault when they harass other women, little girls might see you and copy you like mindless drones.

*obligatory asides that plenty of people can recreationally use substances without being addicted and they're also fine + I know that classifying addiction as a mental illness is a hotly debated topic, especially in antipsych contexts, but that's a whole different can of worms to the topic at hand.

#answered #anons #id in alt text

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phoenixonwheels · 8 months

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The ~discourse~ around the term cripple punk is so wild to me bcs from what I've seen the people arguing that it includes mental illnesses/disabilities are mentally ill people who are ALSO physically disabled explaining from experience that not only are mental illnesses oftentimes disabling in exactly the same way physical disabilities are, but that trying to draw a hard line between "physical" and "mental" conditions is reductive and unhelpful in terms of actually accommodating us and understanding our conditions, especially given that both have so much overlap that it's hard to distinguish what's coming from where in the first place. Like when I'm having a bad enough depressive episode I feel real, physical pain in my chest that's so bad I can hardly stand up, and the accommodations that help me when my hEDS or POTs is making it hard to stand help when it's the depression instead. And yet I'm supposed to believe these two things are completely different, 100% of the time, no exceptions?? Plus like, idk every time I see people argue that mental conditions are somehow different from physical ones it just reminds me of how often doctors will brush aside the physical symptoms of my mental illnesses bcs they're "all in my head" despite how much I'm clearly suffering. For me so much of learning to live with stuff like my bipolar and adhd is unlearning the idea that my brain is like, a separate entity from my body, and accepting that the physical stuff I'm feeling shouldn't be dismissed just bcs it's caused by my brain and not like, my POTs or hEDS. For so often I've seen positivity posts talking about how mental conditions do physically affect people and understanding and accepting that is important, it's wild to see a group that should be on top of that sort of thing fumble it so badly.

And god, so much of the world is already against disabled people, getting mad that the "wrong" disabled people are using the term cripple punk while society does everything in its power to make life impossible for us feels like we're just doing their work for them. We should stand united in our very much shared struggle instead of desperately trying to shove everyone in separate boxes and make sure they stay there, insisting that we have nothing in common and could never share a community. We have everything in common and we need to stand together, now more than ever.

All of this! And also it’s clearly never occurred to them that a huge percentage of the medical gaslighting we’ve all experienced is having doctors blow off our physical disabilities and illnesses by claiming we’re mentally ill. Gee hmm I wonder why that is? Could it be that mental illnesses and disabilities are even more discriminated against than physical illnesses and disabilities? And if we all fight together for respect and rights for people with all types of disabilities and disorders we all benefit?

This shit is absolutely wild to me. And it leads to things like people yelling at me - an actual wheelchair user who is currently mostly bedbound - that I hate cripples and am somehow trying to “steal cripple privilege” and insert myself undeservingly into “cripple spaces” because I refuse to join them in their bigotry against mentally ill and mentally disabled people.

MERDs are to the Cripple Punk and disability rights movements what TERFs are to feminism and the queer rights movement. They’re dragging us back decades.

*MERD: mental-exclusionary radical disabled

#cripple punk #CripplePunk #CPunk #cpunk discourse #disability #actually disabled #MERDs #exclusionists

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leohtttbriar · 7 months

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not done thinking about the impact of this decision to go back in time, within in the story--the drama, the implications, the existentialist commitment--so i wrote out a possible version of the letter jadzia records for her mother, right before they switch the helm to auto-pilot (metaphorically and actually).

To my mother:

I am sorry--for my incoherence. I normally have a script for this sort of thing, but today the scripts are lost. Maybe because now everything has already been scripted, in an impossible loop. So for this, I’m expressing some unique regrets. This is the message you never hoped you would get--a message you never hoped you would get that you will enjoy far less than that message you never hoped you would get. For that and many other reasons, I am of course sorry. I don't have long. But really, I have so much time and I do not want it. (Actually, I’m sorry for saying that. I want my time in life, I promise. I am sorry for causing you pain.)

Aren’t I just sorry about so many things, now? If I could look at myself from the outside, I would even venture to call myself pathetic. Perhaps that’s what Yedrin sees—the girl who couldn’t save her friend, the girl who couldn’t move on, the girl who is now him, the girl who caused this whole nightmare to begin with.

(I expect the mission briefing being transmitted with all our farewell missives will explain who Yedrin is for you. And what it is I have done.)

The fact is, mother, I am still alive. I am just in a place where you can’t reach me. Time is trapping me, as well as several thousand promises in the shape of people. They want to live and Kira wants them to live so now I will go back to ensure it. I will do what has been reported of their history to ensure that history is written. I will marry Worf and bear countless children and when I do eventually die a generation from now, Dax will go on to another—as is custom. So you see, I am still alive and will remain so long after you read this.

What should I even ask you to mourn, is the question. I’m already mostly absent from your life, at least physically. If I were not to go on this journey back in time, I would still be so far away from you, by so many light-years, that by relative standards we would still be separated by time. Distance is time and time is space—when dealing with quantities like this. Me in a starship, you home… listening to a message I recorded for you a month ago about some organic stone that grows like a plant. (I am sorry, that you have been even for a moment an afterthought to my curiosity. Or maybe I’m not sorry, for still I’ve been gone. Caring more about stones than anything else.) My being on this planet and deliberately stranding myself two hundred years in the past is hardly going to change the status quo, excepting a handful of visits.

Yet, I am sorry. I’m sorry, too, for even trying to pretend like this isn’t the end of something. You will probably not be satisfied to know I’m doing this in service to others. I personally can’t think you selfish for preferring your daughter in the same instantaneous slice of time. But I won’t waver from this, now that it’s decided.

It’s the end of Kira’s life and it is also the end of mine. You’ll accuse me of being dramatic, but I have no intention of labeling this next performance as something as wild and unique and fresh and interesting and fun as life. There’s no real death to it, either—for someday I am will come stumbling down onto this planet again and start this letter to you over once more. Maybe.

Do you remember when I told you about the proto-universe that we had to set back in the wormhole? You said it reminded you of working with delicate coral polyps in your garden, making sure there are enough of them upon each branch, that they are flowering and not crowding, that they are able to eat. That has stayed with me for longer than you know—the image of great dark-energy corals, holding little polyp universes on their colorful bones. And your work, it is something mundane, humble—you’ll call me elitist for saying so—but it’s true. Also true is the fact that I do not wish to do humble work, even if it is beautiful like your garden. I like gardens to stay where I can think about them—in the dark—not where I have to do the digging myself, where the digging is just for planting and not for studying. You’ll say again I’m elitist for drawing that distinction. But my place is in a lab, hitting my head on a fume-hood and taking my time stirring a solution with my glass-stirrer. Because I like the sound it makes against the beaker.

I will think of your coral garden for the rest of my life. I will think of Trill and its amethyst ocean and skies and grass. I will think of my dear father and sister and, of course, you, mother. I hope you will think of me too, doing something different than planting crops: maybe living a life off-planet, discovering a smart fungus that would make father scrunch his nose in distaste…and make you smile.

I would give so many things to return to you. But, alive or not, I am now lost.

I will try to be happy—I have been assured I will find some happiness, even if now it is hard to comprehend. And I’ll play the stone-tossing games, that you taught us when were little, with my own inevitable children. We’ll do what you always showed us how to do. We’ll have a lot of fun.

Your daughter, Jadzia.

#i know first person pov fic is considered cringe but i wanted to write the letter goddamnit #had to work out some thought i had #ds9 #star trek #jadzia dax #children of time

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caseylicious · 2 years

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Hi hi! I’m here to request a scenario with the rottmnt boys that have an s/o who has trypanophobia and is injured to a degree that requires stitches but they are denying that treatment cause they are scared

mostly looking for it to be something like angst/comfort but other then that you can do whatever! ˊᗜˋ

The Healing Process.

Summary: Reader has trypanophobia (fear of needles), and has an injury which requires stitches. How do the brothers help them overcome this fear?

Characters: Leo, Raph, Mikey, and Donnie.

Reader: GENDER NEUTRAL (since it wasn't specified.)

Relationship: Romantic! (Established Relationship)

Warnings: Involvement of needles, blood, Mikey being sad, Hurt/Comfort-ish.. though it has fluff aspects as well.

Words: 3376

A/N: Thank you for requesting! It did take me a while to think about what to type since I don't have the fear myself. It brings some awareness to the fear though. I also had the feeling to make Mikey's just a tad more angsty than the others. Because honestly my boy needs that special pass too!

THE PLOT IS KINDA WACK... I GOT TIRED....

As always! Please, Enjoy 💐

[ If you have any constructive criticism or corrections for any of my English do let me know! :) ]

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 💐

You kept to yourself about your fear of needles from most people. You didn't want to be made fun of. For a simple phobia you had. Your boyfriend knew of this fear, due to opening up to him. You gave it no thought though. There was no real possibility you would end up in a hospital. You never believed that you could ever end up in a situation which required stitches. You were always aware of what you were doing, and most of the possible outcomes if you gotten hurt.

You imagined yourself with a simple bruise, a small cut. Nothing too serious. That was until you suddenly were thrown out of a window by a villain. Glass cutting your arm, you were in immediate pain.

Luckily the enemy was defeated by the Mad Dogs. April ran to you inspecting your wound. As she tried touching your arm; you cried in pain. Telling her to stop, you were scared of what was to come. Your boyfriend coming to your aid, rushed you to the lair for Donnie's treatment.

After a couple weeks of rest, Donnie said you were near-ready to be released. Saying that you now only needed stiches. And with that news, you denied the treatment. No matter how Donnie tried convincing you. You were terrified of the thought... So he called in your boyfriend, who explained the situation.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 💐

💙 Leo

At first, He was confused why you refused his brother's treatment.

That was, until Donnie told him that it was you needing stiches.

You brought up the conversation when you and him were talking about relationship boundaries.

He had nothing to say about it, it was your fear! He's scared of things as well.

Like you, he didn't expect you to get any injury which required stiches.

That was until he witnessed you get thrown out of your apartment down to the New York road.

Saved just intime by a portal, he listened to yours sobs of fear of near-death.

After some weeks of rest, and bandages... You were getting better. Mentally and physically...

Before he heard your scream of terror as Donnie held a needle and thread in his gloved hand.

You needed a distraction, and he knew just how to do it.

- - - - - - - - - -

Your body trembled as your eyes viewed Donnie's left hand. He was holding the very thing you feared, a needle. Usually for most people, they can go through situations such as this. And you were ashamed of being afraid of such small things.

Leo quickly rushed to Donnie's room, seeing your frightened face. "D- Donnie what happened?" He sat next to you, grabbing hold of your free hand gently. Donnie groaned, leaning back in his own chair. Leo could feel your hand shake. He rubbed small circles, hoping it'd calm you down. And it did, until Donnie revealed what he had to do. "Y/N is refusing the last part of their treatment."

Leo having a confused look on his face, he comes to realize; that the last part of your treatment were stiches. "Hey Don— isn't there like some... I dunno. Smart way of not doing stiches?" Donnie gave it some thought and consideration, before sighing in defeat. "Unless they want a permanent scar on their arm, they have to get the stiches."

You certainly didn't want any scars. Especially on your exposed skin. But you hated needles... Maybe this once. You can handle the treatment. In a shaky voice you spoke, "I'll take the.. s- stiches." Donnie nodded to your choice, rolling his chair closer to you. Preparing his needle; you looked away into your boyfriend's plastron. He frowned seeing you act like this, until he decided to distract you a little.

"Have I ever told you how D almost destroyed New York because of a video game?" Opening your tightly shut eyes, you looked up at him curiously. "I'm sorry, but did you say video game?" He nodded with his cheeky smile. "Uhh, yeah! What was it again? Pinky game?" Donnie's brows furrowed, embarrassed and annoyed of his brothers' shenanigans. Leo's attempts at cheering you up were amusing. Amusing enough, for you to relax your shoulders. This was the very reason why you loved Leo. He was funny, relatable, sweet, and overall someone you loved being around.

"I think you mean Purple Game... I saw some billboards of it." Leo smirked, massaging your hand. "Well, because of that game he almost destroyed New York with a giant robot..." You chuckled. "Like those Japanese Hero Movies?" He thought for a minute before coming up with an answer. "Yeah Babe. Like a Japanese Hero movie!"

You remembered when you chose to read some comics with Leo. It was the day he vaguely told you; that he loved you. You were sitting in his room which he, quote on quote says: "Is the best room out of all of them!" You believed him at first, before realizing later on Splinter slept above him. The memory made you giggle, covering your mouth slightly. He raised an eyebrow looking deeper into your eyes. "Well, what's got you laughing all of a sudden babe?" You grinned even more, staring into his eyes. "Nothing.. just the thought of you." "Oh? The thought of me you say? What was it about?" You rolled your eyes. About to say what on earth you thought of, before a quick "Finished." was heard. Confused, you turned your head down to your arm. The treatment was done! "I- that didn't even hurt!"

"Obviously. My brothers' nonsense kept your brain busy." He placed away the needle into a tin which he would sanitize at a later date. "Be careful next time, and try staying behind when we go on missions. We don't want that to open up." You nodded your head, placing your focus on your boyfriend. "Thank you..."

He chuckled, planting a kiss on your free hand. "You're welcome."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 💐

❤️ Raph

Raph thought your injury would end up worse, when he saw your body get thrown out of that window.

It was only a slim chance of luck you didn't break any of your bones, thankfully.

But even with such luck, he was frustrated that he didn't prevent it from happening.

He could've grabbed you away from the blow.

He could've switched places with you.

He could've not brought you in the first place...

And now he has to face the consequences. Stiches...

Not for him, but for you. And he felt terrible, knowing your fear of needles.

He gets it! He's afraid of being alone. He would take needles around you seriously.

Honestly, Raph would cry with you. Just to how much he hated seeing you cry.

Mental Raph came up with an idea to cheer you up.

- - - - - - - - - -

"No! D- donnie. I don't want stiches!" He sighed, backing away from you. "Y/N, you understand that you can either wait a month for that to scar your body or take the stiches." Raph walked through the room after he got a text from his younger brother. About you specifically. "Donnie, I'm here what's happening?-" You could hear Donnie sigh with relief. "Thank goodness you're here. Your partner here is rejecting my assistance." Raph placed his focus onto you. Your face showed pure terror, you were trying hard not to cry. It hurt him deeply.

"Hey.. Don can you give us some space?" His brother glancing back to you, nodded. Walking out of his room, closing the door. That's when you absolutely broke down into a sob. Covering your face with your free hand. You were ashamed of how scared you were of something that was going to help you. Raph sat down next to you, wrapping his arms around you. "Hey... no ones' gonna get mad at ya. If you don't want the stiches." Your sobs were muffled in his plastron.

You knew that nobody was going to make fun of you for the fear. Donnie was just worried about your injury, and everyone else was too. "I- i know... it's just..." You wanted to say how you felt. But you just didn't know what to say. Too many emotions were present, and you didn't know how to handle it.

Raph nodded, "You don't have to say anything, y'know? I just want you to feel safe." You listened to your boyfriend, as he comforted you. "Just take deep breaths, in and out... like you taught me. Remember?" Oh, that's right...

A flashback begins to when "Savage Raph" was present. You got a text from Donnie that your boyfriend went missing. In the sewers. Now at first, you tried thinking of ways Raph possibly could've gotten spit up from the others. But as you walked to the sewer manhole, you began to realize how important this situation was. You knew your boyfriend couldn't handle being by himself.

Especially in the sewers out of all places. Donnie said it himself, "The Sewers are a labyrinth to tamper with!" You couldn't imagine yourself stuck in a maze. By yourself out of all things...

When you joined the others on the chase of Raph, you worried that he'd destroy something. Not because of the destruction, but because of the thought of him handling his emotions and fear in an unhealthy way. The moment you found Savage Raph, you spoke to him. Telling him that everything is okay. That he didn't need to be afraid. You told him you'd always be there for him, no matter the situation. In a hug like right now, you told him to breathe in and out. Resulting in Raph to calm down and return back to normal. So, like Raph; you began to control your breathing. Listening to Raph's heartbeat, you felt your heart feel all mushy and gushy. You weren't alone. He was here. You pulled your face away from his chest, feeling brave. "I'm ready for the stiches." He nodded, smiling back at you. "There's the Y/N I know." Raph then called Donnie back inside, telling him you were ready. Surprised, he agreed and continued the treatment. You were surprised to find out that it didn't hurt! After Donnie finished, you covered Raph's face in small kisses. Leaving him a red mess.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 💐

🧡 Mikey

He completely understood your fear of needles. While he may be one of The Mad Dogs, he is scared of things too! Such as ghosts and the dark.

But he promised you he'd keep you completely safe. He was Michelangelo! The fearless orange turtle.

With some hugs and kisses on your cheek, you told him that he was indeed: "The Fearless Orange Turtle."

He believed that you wouldn't get too hurt. As long as he was careful bringing you along in his missions.

His beliefs immediately changed as he felt your hand pull away from his.

He watched as your body fell through the window and his body moved without command.

He jumped out of that building, using his weapon to catch you from certain doom.

Ever since that day, he hasn't ever felt so disappointed in himself.

- - - - - - - - - -

Mikey has had nightmares which scared him. Bad nightmares, realities where he didn't catch you in time. Nightmares where you died. He always woke up, running to Donnie's room. Waking up you and Donnie almost immediately. "Mikey, What happened?" He always stared at your face for a good minute, before calming down. "Babe...?" You were always concerned whenever he barged in. Was it some sort of traumatic response? "..Nothing. Just.. thought I heard something was all..." Mikey always scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. You knew he couldn't stop thinking about that night, and you couldn't blame him. You as well couldn't stop thinking about that incident. The night where you got caught in the crossfire of attacks.

You could've died.

You never knew really, what Mikey was thinking about each time he saw your face. But you just knew it wasn't good for him...

The moment you saw Donnie mark on his calendar that you could be released, made you and Mikey very happy. You could finally get out of bed and he could finally hug you again! That was until Donnie told you all you needed now were stiches. It took you both by surprise, in almost a blink of an eye... fear filled your body.

"W- what do you mean stiches?" Your grip on Mikey's hand tightened. He could feel your hand shake a little. "It's a quick treatment. Do not fret worry Y/N! You're lucky that it is I, who is doing this for you." He waited for you to chuckle, but your focus was on the needle in his hand. Mikey felt bad, kneeling a little to look at you. "..Hey Y/N, it'll be alright! D- donald always takes good care of his patients." His voice broke a little. Which confused you to a degree where your fear almost was replaced with concern. "And he isn't the only doctor here! Doctor Positive is right here with you!" And almost immediately, he kissed your cheek. Which did comfort you.

Mikey pat your head once, moving your hair behind your ear. You took a deep breathe in. "Donnie, I'm ready." The older brother got started on your arm, and you didn't feel a single thing. You and Mikey thanked him and he waved you off. This would be the end of Mikey's part, but you just felt something was off with your boyfriend.

"Hey.. sweetheart?" You called for him and he turned his head around in response. "Oh? Yes Y/N? What is it?-" Suddenly you hugged him. And just like that, Mikey began to tremble. "Are you okay?.." you asked with a low voice. You could feel Mikey try to figure out what to say. But you had a good idea of what was going through his head. "I was scared too.. but I'm here now. I'm okay."

"B- but Y/N... it's my fault you got hurt!" He looked down at you, tears in the corners of his eyes. "Don't blame yourself. It's not your fault Mikey... I'm here, I'm alive." Drip. Drip.

You felt your boyfriends' tears fall onto your forehead. You could only imagine the amount of guilt he must've felt. He hugged you back tightly, as you began to cry as well. You both needed each other, and that's why you both belonged to each other...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - 💐

💜 Donnie

Donnie was a bit confused on why you'd be afraid of needles out of all things. They were just so small, so dainty!

Now don't take this the wrong way, he just doesn't see your fear in a logical sense.

He does acknowledge it though. Making sure whenever you were around no needles could be seen.

He reassured you that there was no possibility of you ever being harmed by a needle.

It was only a few weeks later that he watched as your body was thrown out.

He hasn't had flown on his "jetpack-like" battle shell that fast in a long time...

It must've been a bad fall, because as the enemy threw a stone into the propellers of the battle shell; it malfunctioned.

Causing you both to fall, breaking Donnie's protective shell while protecting you.

He miscalculated the possibilities of you being harmed like this. How could he let a small mistake slide like this?

Now, you were in bed as Donnie checked over you constantly.

He wasn't going to let another mistake happen again.

- - - - - - - - - -

You were suddenly woken up by a cold hand. You shivered, opening your eyes to meet Donnie's. He was hesitant on what to do, but he always somehow looked like he knew what he was doing...

"Have I woken you? I apologize.." You only scanned his face, happy to always see his purple bandana-self. "Well.. yes. You did, but I'm glad to wake up seeing you.." You smiled gently towards him as you began to sit up. He placed his hand on your back, supporting your weight. "Thanks... mm." You slowly moved your bandaged hand onto the railing of the bed. Your boyfriend inspected your arm carefully and with care.

Many things were going through Donnie's head, and you could hear him mumble logic to himself. It was sad, honestly. However you didn't want to see your boyfriend frown. So you tried to make him feel better. "Hmm.. Y'know I love you right?" He lifted his head up immediately looking at you. A blush covered his cheeks, as he looked back down to your arm. "I love you as well..." This cheered you up yourself, however he spoke again. "Your wound looks healed enough, we can take off the bandages." He watched as you smiled excitedly, waiting for him to unwrap the bandages. But he didn't. You sensed that he wasn't telling you something so you asked, "What's wrong, D?" He frowned, pushing his chair back. "Hun?" You frowned, holding his hand with your free one. As he looked back at you, trying to stay as professional as possible. "We'll have to stich your arm.. if you want your arm to completely heal."

Tension filled the room, as you moved your head to the side to have a view on his table. And he was right. There was a needle with string, and some spray which would numb your arm. You gripped onto the railing of your bed a little, scared. "..D- do I have too?" You didn't want to overstimulate his thinking process with your fear, but he shook his head. "You don't have to. We can wait a little longer for the skin to grow back. However it'll create a scar on you." You considered this option for a couple minutes, before realizing how hurt Donnie could feel.

If he had to see how a misstep in his thinking, caused you to get hurt. He wouldn't forgive himself. You didn't want that... and Donnie could see your consideration on both options. He could see that you didn't want to hurt him...

After thinking out a solution he grabs hold of your free hand. "..Hey. I'll show you what'll happen. How about that?" If he were to show you what would happen, revealing to you that it wasn't as bad as you thought. Then maybe you'd feel less scared of saying what you wanted. You nodded your head, curious on what would happen.

He grabbed a plastic arm, supposedly representing human skin. It grossed you out, but you paid more attention to his demonstration.

"So, first I'll use this spray." He picked up the bottle behind him, showing you the front and back. You looked at the label seeing it was legit. "And I'll spray it onto your skin..." You watched as your boyfriend sprayed the plastic arm two times. "This will make your arm feel a little fuzzy, resulting in you not feeling my touch." He grabbed a separate needle. "After I do that, I'll get.. my tool ready." You watched as his dark green hands, handle the plastic arm with the needle in hand. "And begin stitching, you see Y/N. Because of the numbing spray, you won't feel the instrument hit your skin. And you won't even have to see. I can place a blindfold on you, or place a stress ball in your hand."

You nodded your head again to the information. This helped, a lot! Somehow his demonstration relaxed your mind. Knowing what was to come to your procedure. "Yeah, can I have a stress ball?" He smiled, grabbing a purple ball. Placing it on your palm. He threw away the needle he used for the demonstration, getting another one. Donnie looked up at you. "Ready?"

You took a deep breathe, "Ready." And then the demonstration happened on you. The numbing spray felt cold and you shivered a bit to it. But that's pretty much what distracted you from the needle. The stress ball helped control your fear too!

"And... done. How do you feel Y/N?" He glanced to you, wishing to know your feedback.

"Hmm.. Lucky to have the smartest boyfriend in the world." You rubbed your hand to his cheek. As embarrassed he was, he held your hand nuzzling his head into your hand like putty. "I love you..."

You smiled, "I love you too."

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