#mostly reblogging FF stuff because I spend all my time there

[guild-guardian]

Loving the new Paglth'an healer chest armor that I didn't just run 40 times to get to drop

#It goes really well with my elezen body mods lbr #The Body 2 is the name of that mod should you be curious #Long time no post! #mostly reblogging FF stuff because I spend all my time there #I will go back to GW2 for end of dragons or if the ending of Champions is particularly interesting #ffxiv wol #ffxiv #sam plays ffxiv #elezen #its a pity the knee plates are stuck as gold colour and not like silver grey but it is what it is

[random-mha-thoughts]

Here we are

Honestly, I never thought I’d get here.  I thought I’d come here, write some stuff that I thought would be fluffy and cute and the rest of the fandom might enjoy reading too, and maybe get a few hundred followers in return.  I didn’t expect that I can say there are 1000+ people who have read at least one of my posts and waits for more because they like what I put out.  I have trouble wrapping my head around it.

I’m gonna pause right here for a sec because I wanna take this time to wish you guys Happy Easter and Happy Passover for those who are celebrating as I am with my family.  My university sucks and doesn’t give the religious holidays off anymore because they don’t wanna be skewed towards any particular religion anymore even if the President is a Jew ffs so I haven’t been able to spend Passover with my family in LA for the past 3 years, but this year really hit harder because of the virus, and it’s the first year my parents decided to do the seder ourselves instead of with my larger family.  Although I’m upset about that, I appreciate my immediate family for coming together and making great memories because of it, and I really hope you guys also come to appreciate that as well, even if you’re not celebrating a holiday this week or anytime soon.  Sometimes we take for granted what’s right in front of us because we think it’ll conveniently be there forever, but be conscious of that for even a brief moment.

Anyway, I really can’t thank you all enough for following me.  It’s been a fun 3 months with this blog so far and I’ve made some great friends, written some great stuff, gotten amazing requests that i’m still writing sorry T.T and I can’t express how much I’ve appreciated you.  I read every notification, scroll through every reblog, smile at every like, and love every reply/comment.  I’m really happy that there are people out there who I can reach with my content and make your day a little better as we share our fandom.  My heart is so full 💖

I’m gonna take a few moments to call out some of special people I’ve met here:

@lovingshoto Angie, you’re such a sweetheart and one of my closest friends here, I really hope you go far and gain your own following on this site for your writing because you deserve it 😘💖 I’ll always be here for you~

@tokoyamis-luv Zara you lovely bean you! I enjoy all your little messages in my ask. You’re my little baby who I want to protect forever and ever, thank you for lending me your mind for when I’m in a rut with writing. I love you 😘💖

@todorokiakina1​ my darling, we talk almost every day, I hope you get your writing juices back up and running, I believe in you! Thank you for always chatting with me 💖

@sunshhinnee  I remember you as the first few follower who took the time to like and reblog everything I wrote in my early days, and for that I’m so thankful for you 💕

@rintomoj @xi-i-i-whatsyouremergency @estrellitaaart @aurora-vorealis @imconfusedanditsok @shoujo-roki  @cyanide9602 @uacrack ik we’re mutuals on my main and we don’t talk often but hmu?? tag me in shit?? idk lets interact more and talk

All the admins at @bnhaclaimedmysoul​ for being so nice and inspiring me to start my writing blog in the first place, my heart especially goes to @evnscntspul for being a sweetie moot on my main

@evielament @soulily0 @musically-inclined-fangirl @fandomfreak1000000 @zyxys1 @multifandom-fanfic @fucking-super-yikes @the-lonely-pie @roeroeroeyourboet I don’t have the time to go through every single person who’s liked/reblogged every single thing/most things I’ve written (there are a lot of you, i see you guys, trust me) but I definitely notice you guys the most 

@bnhaloser my precious little sweetheart thank you for your love and fanfic readings on your youtube channel, please get some sleep and I hope you’re not burning yourself out too much! I’m still looking after you from the shadows 👀

@birds-have-teeth Ashi my precious senpai who noticed me 🥺 i love you, thank you again for putting me on your author recs list, i’m so grateful for you 🙏🏻

@shoutodoki @justshotoswifeisall my senpai friends Val and Kayla, you’ve both inspired me and you already know how much i love and appreciate you, but i’ll say it again for good measure l love youuuu 💖💖💖

Special shoutout to @adainelartz​ @boomboombakugou and all the anons who have ever sent me all the lovely requests! I’m finishing them up, I’ve been busy with school stuff and I’ve been burnt out, but I’ll hopefully finish a few more this weekend into next week! 

And one more big thank you to every person reading this post, whether you’re a brand new or old follower, if you’ve only read one of my posts or you’ve liked my entire masterlist, whether you’re a quiet reader or a vocal one, I really do appreciate you all and I’d like to give you all warm hugs.  You guys keep me going and I couldn’t have gotten this far without every single one of you, and I can’t express my gratitude enough 💕💘

So! I’ll be doing requests this weekend, BUT I’m gonna be opening a 1K followers special event this weekend for anyone who wants to participate!  It’ll be mostly ask box stuff with a little something for the creatives to try their hand at as well.  I might even extend it to next week or until I hit 1,100 just for fun.  I look forward to talking to you guys then!

If you’ve reached the end of this long, mushy note, you’re a real trooper 👍🏻 Please take care of yourselves mentally and physically in these rough times.  I wish all of you health, safety, and calm in your social-distancing/quarantining.  Stay on top of your work/school but remember to take breaks when you need it 💙

With lots of love hugs and smiles

~Tiny

#follower milestone #follower appreciation #1000 followers #Tiny's 1000 Follower Special #tiny talks #i get mushy really easily okay #sorry

[bellamyblake]

Hi Iva! First of all I would like to say - thank you for loving Bellamy so much, it means so much to me to read your posts and feel the same love I have for him. The way I wholheartedly with your every word... about his tragic life, his immense love, everything. On the other hand, you must hurt a lot judging by myself - I honestly cannot stop crying multiple times a day. I do not know how to make the pain stop. I dont know how much more I can handle, its not getting better but actually worse p1

P2 when I think about in details about his life like you did – his life had no happy beginning, or middle, and certainly not the end. Maybe only as a baby boy before O was born. I don’t know how to deal with the fact the character that I genuinely believe had it the worst ended up with the worst possible ending as a reward for honestly trying to do better. Like if he at least experienced love and understanding from O or SOMETHING… but she never got to tell him sorry for beating him up,

P3 that now she understands what he did for her… I am gonna go crazy over this, honestly. I wanna stop crying and enjoy fanfiction with much better ending for him. Where should I find solace? Was his death at least quick, maybe he did not have time to think about what happened? Is there an afterlife where Aurora waited for him? Was that what I can hope for when Aurora was NEVER explained, she was not an alien so what was she? But he also sow Cadogan in the same scene and he was alive then?

P4 Should I watch 5x13 on loop to get in my head this was the ending? Should I teach myself to edit and do some manip for the ending? My only way of coping is seeing other people, blogs like yours that love him just as much. But I keep crying and feeling utterly miserable ☹I am 27 I never spend so much time loving any character (fun fact, It must be around 3 500 hours for me reading ff, watching the show and fan edits and tumblr posts). I know Bellamy will always and forever be the one beloved

P5 one beloved character of mine and no one will ever come close. Bellarke, the same – they were my OTP. The only one. I need to do something about this cause I am loosing my damn mind… I could handle almost anything, I would cry, yes, but I was absolutely sure of one thing - no matter their ending, sad or happy, in some sense they would do it together… and we got THAT. Does anything help you? I am so sorry for dumping this on you but reading your posts - its like hearing my soul.

Hello!

First of all thank you for the kind words and for enjoying my blog so much. 

I really do love Bellamy Blake a whole damn LOT. Like a damn LOT hah. I think that’s pretty obvious by the posts I make even if they’re not as many lately because I’m mentally not doing well right now. But that same love you feel, I feel it too and I’m glad I’m not alone in this.

I also get angry too and I cry a lot still about the way things ended. I also have not spent that much time in my life invested in a fictional character before so this is a lot for me as well and I get how you feel.

You asked me if something helps and for me it helps a lot to write you know? Be it meta or fanfiction, I indulge myself a lot in writing. 

It’s funny that even when I write fics I don’t write happy fics, you’d think that I’d make him absolutely happy in what I write but I don’t. But indulging yourself in a world of your creation with this character helps a lot. And it’s fun too, to do this, to build a world for him, a different one-be it with Clarke or with a family of his own or Idk just with anyone. Giving him love that he never had and joy he never felt. I think that helps me a lot and it helps me forget how he died and how much it hurts (I wanna say that even typing this makes me cry hah, so...).

I also like to rewatch some episodes that were more about him as a character and then meta in my head. That usually gets me sad too but it’s also exciting to think about some of the stuff that happened and dive in the psychologity of his character (which I do a lot) LOL. But that’s mostly painful. I don’t get many asks about him and meta stuff so I mostly do it in my head on my own and dive into the world of direction and how things were done and love making sense of them. 

Headcanons are something I love doing too though I haven’t written (or posted) much lately. In fact I haven’t posted anything lately because Idk...I’m not sure that sharing everything you create is good these days. people got so judgemental over time, the way actors and cast are threated is horrible but it extends to the entire fandom and its participants so it’s ugly and dark and horrible and I think stops a lot of people from posting gifs or fics or anything at all. But that’s another subject.

So yes writing helps me a lot. Reading fics helps me a lot. I’m not sure what the recipe is here because honestly I am in the same boat as you. I love this character more than anything and any other that I’ve loved and been in a fandom before so...this is hard for me too. And it’s fucked up. 

I also love making gifs for him though I don’t make anything good or special. Gifs I think can be lots of fun but also pain too-fun cause when you go to gif a moment you can rewatch half the episode (at least I do) and sad cause it can bring you some pain but at the end giffing is really Idk..rewarding. Except when people don’t reblog shit so that’s discouraging too hah.

I’m sorry I don’t mean to be a debbie downer.

To tell you the truth after years of being on here and in fandoms I realized this-I can create to soothe my soul from the pain, like from losing Bellamy but I don’t have to seek validation from people and post it. I can do it just to heal myself and not share it. When you share it what? You just get disappointed. That’s why I have 230 drafts. Half of them are unpublished headcanons. some of them are published fics with few readers or readers who yelled at me for writing sad stuff. the other half is stories i’ll never post. So I guess my advice is-

find something to get your hands on, to create, be it editing, giffing, writing, something to let the grief out, to soothe the wound inside you. and then you can decide if you want to share it or not. and even if you don’t it was inspired by the best character ever. 

He was loved, he deserved more, he did. But you can create worlds where he has more.

He can be held by his mom as a baby, he can be tucked in, he can be climbing up her leg and reaching for her arms, he can be cranky when he had his first tooth, or sad when he had to go to day care, he can be scared before his first exam and anxious as he grew up. He can be having nightmares and not sleeping when O was born, he can be terrified and feeling alone. He can have friends and be hugged and loved and have a first kiss, he can live in a house by the ocean with clarke with two beautiful kids and a dog and a cat for her cause she loves cats. Or he can be alone curled up in his bed just crying his grief away.

He can be anything that you wished for him, anywhere you wished for. 

Hope I helped some! 

#answered #bellamy blake #the 100 #im sorry if i wasn't as helpful #i tried #hah #i think about him every day #and cry too #alwaysdreamingofmiracles

[lizzybeth1986]

Quick Thoughts on The Royal Retcon Book 1 Chapter 11

• You've gotta admit, guys. This series spends more time retconning various aspects of their original story than they do on the actual premise.

• The food fight was wild and chaotic, the background history is always welcome, seeing Jess and Blake was nice and the moonlit hot springs scene was a nice change from everything...but my head is spinning from the constant shifts, okay?

• To avoid seeing my QTs in your dash, blacklist the following tags: #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs, #long post.

• Screenshots:

Hana: The Abhirio YouTube channel

Maxwell: @thethots-plicken and @itsbrindleybinch

Drake: The HIMEME YouTube channel

• Title: The Prodigal Father

Alternative: Most Parents in TRR Shouldn't Have Even Been Parents To Begin With

• The last chapter ended with a surprise twist: the return of Barthelemy Beaumont, father of Bertrand and Maxwell Beaumont. We had a lot of questions. Did Bertrand know he wasn't dead? Did Maxwell not know he wasn't dead? What the hell was he doing all these years and why had he left his sons in such a horrible position?

• Turns out the writers may have taken a leaf out from a Hindi serial or something coz - drumrolls - he was in a coma!

• Why do we never hear much about this so-called illness or even have a name put to it. What mysterious illness caused Barthelemy to deteriorate so much that he was trying out miracle cures from quacks and that he ended up in a coma for years? Why were his next of kin not informed when he came out of it or while he was rehabilitating? Why the heck wasn't Maxwell telling his wife this, or Bertrand his girlfriend? There is so much about this plot that doesn't even make sense.

• How does Barthelemy remember Drake from the court days but not Savannah ("Liam and Drake, you're so grown up now! Miss Savannah, you're lovelier than your reputation..."). Somehow he knows what's been said about Savannah and about Hana's accomplishments - wait if he'd been mostly getting his body back in order, how would he know this stuff? Who is telling him this? (Godfrey?? Is that why he's so faux-patriotic around us now??? Is that his real reason for visiting Cordonia only once a year or something?)

•

In Liam and Drake's cases, Barthelemy says the same thing about how Maxwell outdid himself by bringing the MC to the House, and that she has brought prestige to the Beaumonts. It's in Hana's and Maxwell's cases that the dialogue is different. In Maxwell's it's obviously as his daughter-in-law that he greets you, and in Hana's he speaks of now having two "daughters" in his house.

• Barthelemy then gets to the more serious part of his departure - the fact that Bertrand had to shoulder the responsibilities of being Duke earlier because of Barthelemy's condition, and that now Bertrand can relax while his father takes care of things at the estate. Is that care for his son talking...or his desire for control? I'm leaning towards the second.

• I'm pretty sure Bertrand is leaning towards the second because he's looking pretty resistant about this sudden change. His bride-to-be, Savannah, in the meantime, is super happy to meet her father-in-law and son's namesake. Hah. That'll change.

• Maxwell is nervous. Because he wants his father to see how different he is now, and how responsible he has become, but doesn't know what his old man will think. Don't worry, Esther says, plan this smartly and you'll get a new Pictagram follower!

• In any case, Maxwell's friends promise to help him get through this and support him, except for Drake who thinks he can impose limits (like "no singing"), because, yknow. The universe has to revolve around his comfort zone. Must be a Walker trait.

• More Jess and Blake nuggets! You get an option to ask them how they met, and they tell you about the cruise they first worked in (and presumably where Jess' sister met Liam's brother and (optionally) married him) and how they used to butt heads often. Nice RoE nugget, too bad the writers have so far barely even remembered Liam's brother who is from that series!

•

Yeah yeah I know that Kiara is probably back in Castelserraillian like the other courtly ladies (or chilling in a hotel somewhere in Texas), but if they're all supposed to be there for the wedding Savannah might as well have included her. Not only is Savannah a stinky fiancée and a stinky person in general (not a surprise considering her family), she is also a stinky friend.

• I repeat: my MC Esther has done practically nothing for Savannah. Nor has Hana. Why are we such a huge part of her ceremony again when she already had a long-time friend from court who had actually helped her and actually cared?? Only because we're the ones on an extended holiday in her ranch? Then say that - why do you need to make such a long speech about friendship while snubbing the one woman who made a damned effort to help you? (oh...right. I keep forgetting. Kiara is only remembered when people want to use her 😒).

• At the start of the rehearsals, Savannah tells Jess about the horse-riding-to-the-altar tradition, complete with a saddle that's been a family heirloom. Bianca and Leona, apologetically, inform Savannah that they had to sell it. Savannah tries to mask her disappointment, but fails. Barthelemy in the meantime, jumps in, in what he assumes would be "saving the day" (it's not, Bartie Sr. It really isn't)

Bartie...dude...you just got here. You can't already know what'll make your daughter-in-law happy when you've only spoken to her for all of five seconds. Plant your ass at the back of the congregation where it belongs!

• The girl really really wanted that saddle, okay Bartie Sr? Allow her to grieve that lost dream ffs.

• This scene I guess is helpful because while it still places Bartie Sr rather awkwardly in the "father trying to make amends and be caring" category, it gives you an inkling of why that persona doesn't sit so well on him. Bartie Sr may assume that this is something a caring parent does, except that what he's really doing is taking over, making all the attention revolve around him, believing he knows best and not listening to anyone. Even when he's being "nice".

• That saddle is going to come back some way or other, and it's probably going to be a diamond option, for which the free option is Savannah walking down the aisle with Bartie Sr. Eh. She threw a tantrum at my reception so her boyfriend could marry her, I'm not about to get her her dilapidated saddle. She can make do with her crusty father-in-law.

(The other possibility is that [at the end of the chapter] Bertrand left the house to get it or something idk, and it might be free after all. Is it too late to ask for the entire WEDDING to be a diamond option?)

• So this exchange leads us all to the Beaumont brothers remembering their childhood. Maxwell views it all through rose-coloured spectacles, Bertrand has very different memories of that time. Which is such a change from the previous series! I mean, wasn't Bertrand the one who kept going "my father's legacy, my father's legacy", while Maxwell was the one who didn't have very good memories of that time?

I can always imagine that Bertrand's views on his father must have changed when he started taking on the responsibilities of a father himself (thus making him view his childhood as 'not normal'). And Maxwell may well have come to appreciate Bartie Sr once he began taking House responsibilities. But guess who is breaking their heads to make these "connections". Us. Not the writers. Not the team in charge of this story.

• There are two PoVs to this scene: Maxwell's and Bertrand's. Maxwell's is the one that is lighter, funnier, showing us a wilder side of his brother, Bertrand is given the meatier one, with intrigue and a hint of plot.

- We're taken back to when Bertrand's motorbike was just purchased, and the boys choose to take it for a test ride. The Bertrand shown here is kinda similar to the one in the 6-years-ago flashback in Book 1, just...younger and cuter. Apparently in the time that Bertrand was living alone in a house with Maxwell, he aged like an avocado.

- What's with using this team and using the Waverley kids' faces for the Beaumont brothers??

- Young Bertrand and Maxwell don't mind living on the wild side - taking the Cavilieri Novanta 9S on a test drive through different areas in the estate, planning how they'll debut this beauty at the Beaumont Bash and generally making a racket. Bartie Sr scolds them from the window of his office, then asks them to come up and see him there. Bertrand opts to protect little Maxwell from his father's ire by going there alone, and then telling his brother that their father is "very proud" of them. Maxwell doesn't question this (the writers have forgotten that Young Maxwell was perceptive even as a little boy, so I'm not quite buying that he simply accepted what Bertrand said at face value), and jumps instead into planning a logo for their biker jackets (he suggests a kraken and a tiger). They can also opt to have a special kraken-related handshake.

- Bertrand, however, fills in the blanks, speaking to us about what he witnessed at the office, and what actually transpired.

-

This conversation is the point of the whole scene, and is connected to the Young! Drake scene in the sense that Bartie Sr and Godfrey are from the Great Houses that Constantine mentions are opposing the alliance with Auvernal. While they don't tell us what has disappointed these two so much, we do get the idea that they are displeased esp with the Queen because she has somehow convinced Constantine to not agree with what the two are planning so quickly. It's very possible that their frustration with Eleanor might have gotten them involved in some way with her death, but it's also possible that there are other players involved.

- Bertrand does not focus much on this bit because Bertrand is young and his priorities are different. The interesting thing about using these childhood flashbacks for the characters is that we will always get an incomplete picture, if only because the kids' priorities are different, and for them these side discussions will always count as "adult stuff". Big, scary, too complicated to understand.

- We do get a mention of Maxwell's weight (finally!). The writers frame it as Maxwell losing his weight after his mother's death and getting his regular exercise with his brother. This we get to know by Bartie Sr's fat-shaming comment about not wanted to see Maxwell get back to his "wide suits" (Seriously. Fuck this guy).

• Hypocrite alert! Godfrey who treats his perfectionist daughter as a failure just for existing and being a girl, now thinks he can yap about "being too hard" on one's children. Go fuck yourself Godfrey Not Gao (this nickname was brought to you by @callmetippytumbles).

• The bit that's most important to Bertrand is that he tries to pass an overdue bill to his dad, and his father ignores it to concentrate on "bigger" things. Which kinda leads you to believe that the problem existed waaaaay before Bartie Sr started believing in miracle cures for his mysterious illness. In fact I'm pretty sure both those things might be fabricated.

• So that's what Bertrand is trying to tell us. That Bartie Sr expected his sons to understand responsibility when he was not exactly ready to live up to that example himself. It still doesn't make sense though, considering every time Bertrand spoke about Bartie Sr it was as if he had to uphold the same legacy, and everytime Maxwell spoke about him it was to highlight what a disappointment he was to his father...and funny enough they've now switched roles.

• Anyway, Maxwell is now more inclined to believe Bartie Sr has turned a new leaf, while Bertrand is wary. He is not wrong about the controlling aspect though, even when his dad is trying to be nice he's being a controlling ass.

• Hana comes in and comforts Bertrand, in a scene I found pretty touching. She knows plenty about controlling, overbearing parents who expect plenty from her but fail to measure up to the little that she asks of them. I love how she makes the point that, having support or company of any form, works to lessen the pain of that kind of upbringing...and she knows this because she never had it.

• The bonding that takes place between Hana and Bertrand is lovely, although it's marred by the fact that were we going by the original idea of the Beaumont brothers' lives, Maxwell would be the one she'd be comforting.

• Two bits that stood out to me were where Bertrand offered to make up for all those years of disappointment and pain that Hana suffered, by being a sort of stand-in older brother now - and Hana's response to the whole idea of mending bridges:

I love the fact that she says this even as she still maintains her complicated relationship with her mother. It's small but a lot more than she was allowed to say earlier. In Book 3, a lot of what they had Hana say to Lorelai was more for Lorelai's benefit than her own (constantly educating her and telling the family that the most important thing was that they be happy together). Her responses were centered around Lorelai's comfort, not Hana's conflict. At least here, she gets to state (while safely away from her parents) how complicated her relationship with her parents is. I just hope this is not the last time we hear about it.

• It's now time for the rehearsal dinner! Everyone's seated at a pop-up restaurant Blake and Jess have made for the wedding, and includes the courses for the special day. It's bruschetta, a quiche and the wedding cake for dessert.

•

Auntie Bitch I hope you realize that the biggest freeloaders in this house are your own nephew and niece! Drake doesn't have a job until his wedding is over (unless one counts moaning and griping while enjoying shit that his BFF has paid for, his job (oh...wait...maybe that's why "Constantly Complaining Freeloader" was listed as a job description in his Italian Restaurant scene lmao)). The other biggest freeloader is your niece, who didn't mind accepting money from Maxwell and then turned around and acted towards Bertrand like she didn't need his damn money that she was already using.

• Also for the amount of complaining Leona has been doing for her own niece's wedding she might as well have not hosted them at all. You took the responsibility, you made all the guests you were hosting do work for you and spent all your time mocking them for not having the kind of specific skillsets you grew up with. If you wanted to stay alone with your sister in this crusty dilapidated ranch where you probably don't even pay people fairly, you could have told Savannah to go somewhere else. Like Applewood. Or Ramsford idk. You couldn't even save the saddle your niece would have wanted for the wedding, and if that's not a pointer to what a failure you are, Leona, IDK what is. So maybe stop acting like you're better than the nobles and keep quiet.

• Bianca states that she has never depended on the Crown yet somehow left behind both her children whose well-being was largely being maintained from the Crown coffers???

• But also given the response to Liam I have a feeling we might have a flashback from her next chapter. While she doesn't appear as angry as her sister, there is definitely an underlying bitterness there that I think the narrative might explore before we leave Texas. Idk.

• Bartie Sr focuses his attention on us again, insisting that he is like a father figure to us. You can either firmly refuse (my favourite option), express pride in House Beaumont (which pleases Bartie Sr no end) or be polite (in which case Liam lets out a cryptic "how generous of you" aimed at Bartie Sr it one point, showing us that he's not very impressed. Hmm. Hmm.)

• Bartie Sr is being controlling again, complaining that the quiche is not an elegant main course and insisting to Savannah that she try whatever he is demanding for the wedding. He keeps saying "trust me Savannah, you'll love it!" as if he knows her tastes better than she herself does.

• Chuck tries to offer cake, and Bartie Sr in his eagerness to refuse accidentally tosses it over on Leona's clothes.

• That's kiiind of a breaking point with Leona, and to sum it all up, THIS happens:

Jess has seen and participated in utter chaos, okay. So for her to appear all flummoxed and say "it was...a lot", it really, really has to be a lot.

• My favourite parts have to be Hana and Liam thoroughly enjoying the food fight and finding it cathartic, because they're the two who most need to channel their repressed energies into that kind of catharsis. Drake and Maxwell don't feel this need as much as they do because they already have ways and opportunities to channel it.

• The fight allows both the nobles and the Walkers to meet on common ground - common enough ground that Bertrand can (if we choose) finally tell his father that he and Savannah can manage their own wedding, thank you very much.

• Funny how Bertrand is expected to stand up to his father and ensure that what Savannah wants is not ignored, yet Savannah herself never makes even a quarter of the effort that he does, in making Bertrand comfortable in her home. Why does Bertrand have to do all the work in this relationship? Why do I only see Savannah complaining when Bertrand is not doing things exactly as she wants them to be done, yet not even lifting a finger when he's the one who needs the help and reassurance? Perhaps the best option is if he becomes runaway groom.

• We get to give one (1) solitary fuck about the country we're leading when we're back in the bedroom after this whole skirmish has gone down.

• LI diamond scene! At a moonlit hot spring nearby. The scenes mostly include the mandatory admiration for the lingerie, awe at the scenery and once the sex is done, an exploration into family and children from the would-be parents.

Liam: Calls the MC a "twilight goddess fit for worship" as soon as he sees her with her lacy lingerie in the moonlight. If you've done those scenes, there's a mention of the Forgotten Falls and the Blue Grotto and how Liam has a penchant for whisking the MC away to secluded watery places. (Liam also mentions finding a matching pearl to the first one they got at the Blue Grotto, even though the writers have practically forgotten what has happened to that first one 🙄).

The MC can choose to either go fast or slow in the love scene, and afterwards, Liam wonders aloud whether all families are complicated. The MC can counter this, by telling Liam they can ensure their child never gets to the point that Bertrand or Hana have by ensuring the child has their space to be open about how they feel.

Caption: Spring Fling

Hana: The two women mostly admire each other in silence (Hana tells the MC she would simply like to look at her as the MC gives a twirl) and the MC suggests expanding the "sample size" of Hana's lingerie because Hana in the moonlight is a vision. Hana offers to massage the MC's shoulders, and speaks about wanting to get away from the chaos and check in on her. Hana wants to take as much of their alone time as possible to check if the MC is doing okay, which IMO is her way of maintaining a relationship - by giving her partner space to talk about how they feel, something she rarely had the opportunity to do. She also admits to how exhilarating the food fight was. Hana is playful and teasing in her love scene, and brings the MC to the point where she will beg for more.

Once they are done, the two speak about how being in this place is like being in a fairytale, and there's a particularly lovely line nestled in this bit:

I wished for storybooks with scenes just like this as a kid. Not ones where the princess got rescued by the prince or the knight...but where she found love and happiness on her own...and the freedom to embrace them.

It's...it's so beautiful 😭

Caption: Woodland Nymphs

Maxwell: Now obviously Maxwell has the most personal experience among the four this time, since it's his father that returned home, and it's his family that is now dealing with some tough, complicated questions. Some of that shows in this scene. It begins with Maxwell seeing the MC in her lingerie and confession he almost forgot she had them...which is a good thing otherwise he would never be able to concentrate on anything else. He speaks to her about all the things he loves about her and about their relationship - especially how much they make each other laugh. Underwater, the two let go of their restraint and make love with abandon.

The conversation that follows is the most important, exploring Maxwell's feelings about his father's return. He doesn't have a lot of memories of his father - most of it was from when he was very young, or from Bertrand's eyes. Maxwell is very happy that Bartie Sr has returned, and wants him to see how happy he is with the MC. He speaks of wanting to tell him about the social season, about marrying the MC, about his bestseller book. There is a cute bit where the MC asks whether he would tell Bartie Sr about the hippo tattoo and Maxwell seems almost terrified by that option. But overall, there is nervousness in his scene, and also hope. He definitely is invested in making his old man proud. Proving himself has always been a theme with Maxwell, and that need possibly will increase with the arrival of his father.

Caption: Blue Lagoon

Drake: Calls the MC in her lingerie in the moonlight, "art that should be in a museum". The two admire each other in their new lingerie, and then admire the scenery. Drake has brought the MC to the hot spring mostly because it was rumoured to be called "Makeout Point", and he's always been curious to see what the big deal was. The MC can point out the beauty and romantic potential of the area, mentioning that she can imagine a sixteen year old swooning if her high school sweetheart brought her there, "or a duchess, if her marshmallow brought her here". During the love scene, Drake likens her to a siren, the sex can either be rough or gentle and the MC can either take control or allow him to.

Towards the end, the two talk wonder how their child might be, who they would resemble. There's a bit of banter back and forth about how the world is not ready for their collective sass 😄 I think because Drake is the most comfortable with his own family now, that his conversations with the MC about family focus largely on his memories of good times, and on what their child will be like.

Caption: Spring Fever

• Why the hell are you guys ruining all that nice lingerie in water!!!

• After a few days, and presumably on the day of the wedding, Savannah comes to us, shocked and worried, telling us that Bertrand is gone. This could be either a fakeout leading to him trying to get something nice and romantic done for her, or his insecurities cropping up IDK.

• General Thoughts:

- As much as I'd LOVE for the twist to be that Bertrand has realized this marriage will never work and has called it all off, I know for a fact they won't let that happen. Either his insecurities have come to a head with Bartholemy's return and he needs time to clear his head, or he's gone all heroic and tried to get Savannah's saddle for her, which we then have to pay diamonds to retrieve.

- Some way or the other that saddle is going to feature.

- They'll have Bertrand do something heroic I guess so that Leona will FINALLY stop being a whiny asshole. And Savannah as usual? Will not even lift her little finger.

- I'm more worried about what Bartie Sr will be upto once he's back at Ramsford estate! Esp given that his controlling has already begun at an event as innocuous as a wedding. ALSO given that this man will be back in Cordonia!!

- We're obviously going to get more hints about our pregnancy in the coming chapter, that I'm sure we'll ignore coz we don't want to jump into conclusions like the last time.

- Hana's bonding scene with Bertrand reminds me a little of a scene in Book 2, where she speaks of how Bertrand reminds her a little of her father...in, like, a good way.

- If it turns out that Godfrey and Barthelemy were indeed involved in Eleanor's death, it will be the ultimate irony. It would mean that the present occupants of the duchies that were once undermining the Crown...are now their stanchest allies. Lucretia and Olivia's parents vs Olivia, Godfrey vs Madeleine, and Bartie Sr vs Bertrand and Maxwell. It would be a nice contrast.

- Istg if they try and make HAKIM AND JOELLE suspicious too I will literally throw hands 😡

- Jesus, the amount of retconning going on in this book. That scene would have lost nothing by making Bertrand the guy who was desperate to prove himself to his father and Maxwell the one who had mixed feelings. Having both of them overhear that conversation rather than one would have been fine too. But this is one in a looooooong list of things that the team is shifting around, believing no one will notice. Maybe I should just call this series The Royal Retcon from now on because there is more of that happening than actual babymaking!!

- I'm pretty intrigued by Liam's lukewarm reaction to Bartie Sr personally. What does he know. Why doesn't Liam tell me and why doesn't the MC ask!!

- Bartie Sr spends surprisingly little time with his own namesake, but perhaps I shouldn't be so surprised since Junior's own parents are hardly seen with him either.

- Next chapter is the wedding (if we can find the groom, that is), Savannah getting her dream entry (possibly if we pay the diamonds) and hints that we may be pregnant that will culminate in the big reveal at the end. Yay?

- I know I haven't gotten out a QT for Book 1 in two weeks but those past two weeks have been filled with lots of IRL stuff. Hopefully I'll get back to that soon.

- Until next week, folks!

#long post #trh quick thoughts #the royal heir #trh qts #king liam #hana lee #drake walker #maxwell beaumont #bertrand beaumont #savannah walker

[josiecarioca]

About Snape lives AU week

So I never really participate in Tumblr events at all, mostly because I feel like I don´t have much anything to contribute. Writing and drawing have become difficult lately, as my workload increased and my personal life has become a bit all over the place, so...I just didn´t bother.

Snape lives AU week was different. I´ve been participating, and having a blast. When I saw the announcement at @snapeloveposts I decided to take part because I actually have a long running fanfiction based on the premise of Severus surviving the war. It´s called “Post War”. I just went “sure, why not. I´ve got stuff to post.” So I proceeded to post about my story. 

"Post War” is very dear to me because through it I´ve met the person who would later become my best friend. She left a comment on the very first chapter all the way back in 2011. She lives in the USA and I live in Brazil, and yet we bonded over a common love for Snape, and as she left more reviews and we started to chat we found much more in common. Now seven years later, we´ve spend holidays/vacations together,  we´ve supported each other through break-ups, through deaths in our families, losing jobs and in my case my mother´s cancer diagnosis. My parents think of her as a second daughter and hers think of me in the same way.

All of that because one day she decided to leave a comment on my fic.

And I´ve met other friends through that fanfic. Other people who commented and now are my friends on facebook and other platforms. Some who were kids when I started writing and are now in college, others older than me, who were kind and supportive and offered me some perspective in life and things beyond the fandom.

This is the reason I´m still writing “Post-War” and drawing pictures for it even after all these years, even when time constraints make it difficult, even when I started to feel a bit too “old” for fanfiction and fanart, and even as work and real life made it a bit too hard to find the energy to draw or write. Because writing it helped me get through some hard times and it gave me friends, including my best friend, who´s now my sister, basically.

When I decided to re-post material related to “Post War” for “Snape lives AU week” I did it for fun, without even thinking it would be re-posted. It´s a Snape x OC fic  I mean XD. It´s a long, slow, drawn out story without much action. It doesn´t feature most of the canon characters people expect to see in a fic. Surely nobody or very few people will be interested. But I´ve gotten quite a few of notes and the story is getting new comments and faves on ff . net, some of which I´m sure come from tumblr. I´ve discovered interesting tumblrs I had never visited before, and people whom I want to follow, who I share common views about Snape with, and people whose work I want to read and support as well.

I guess what I mean to say is: it´s nice to have events like this,  because the fandom can give you a sense of belonging. Writing fanfiction has helped me feel like I belong. So I guess I´ll be participating in more events, because getting together and bonding because of a common interest is what the fandom is about.

So thank you for the reblogs and likes (even if my story is not your cup of tea, which I get, really), thank you for bearing with my fanfiction “self-promotion”, and thank you for having events like this. I´m having a ton of fun. :) 

#snapeloveposts #snape lives AU week #snape lives week #don´t mind me I´m just feeling a bit emotional #I´m also sleep deprived #and caffeine deprived #so there's that

[endeavorsreward]

Whose Story Is This?: A Defense of Final Fantasy XII

[Note: Cross-Posted at my mostly-crit blog Arbitrary Numbers sometime within twenty-four hours-ish, probably easier to find a permalink there.]

I'd originally intended to write something like this closer to the release of Final Fantasy XII: The Zodiac Age, but I actually had someone reply to this tumblr with a request for it (thanks, @beeperdoop-hiatus  ) so I’m going to do this now and reblog it later.

It can be really tiring hearing people repeat the same tired criticisms of FFXII’s story. As a particular fan of that game, I wanted to clarify some details on that score. Let’s get into it.

--Caveat

This article is not intended to be a comprehensive look at the game’s flaws, nor is it meant to suggest the game is above reproach. FFXII is extremely flawed. I think most fans of the game are willing to admit as much, though their reasons may differ. How the game handles race is “problematic” at best and the pacing is very chunky, particularly following Mt. Bur-Omisace, which is almost certainly when Matsuno was officially no longer in the driver’s seat. Some characters (such as Penelo) are significantly underserved and only half the cast truly have arcs. I’d argue the game still says and does more in terms of storytelling than any of the other numbered entries in the franchise, and if your argument is that this speaks less of XII and more of the flaws the others have, that is your prerogative. I’m still inordinately fond of it, however.

This is also not an article about gameplay, as it is solely focused on the game’s overlying narrative and its character journeys. Finally, this article has spoilers for all of FFXII. This game is ten, eleven years old now, but the HD re-release is only months away, so I’m putting the courtesy notice here.

--Facts

The following are indisputable facts:

1.) At some point in development, Yasumi Matsuno stepped down from his lead position on this game. Ivalice’s creator, his focus is frequently relating his games to real world politics (Tactics Ogre, for instance, was inspired by viewing scenes of genocide in Yugoslavia). How much was “left” and how much was “forced” is a matter of some debate.

2.) Over the years, the extent to which Ivalice games, and the satellite games in their orbit such as Vagrant Story, are literally connected has been diminished and then reinstated, both by Matsuno himself and by other representatives at Square-Enix.

3.) At some point in development, Basch was to be the playable character. It is also believed that at some point in development, the same was said of Balthier, who appears to have been “finished” first. What is not ever discussed is how long these ideas were on the table. A year? A week? Thirty minutes? A few throwaway lines in an interview or Ultimania do not clarify this issue.

4.) At some point in development, Vaan and Penelo were added to provide a more traditional youth-oriented viewpoint character. It’s believed that this was because there was concern that a bunch of adults in a thorny political situation would not become a big draw for the usual FF crowd. What is not discussed is when this decision was made - Vaan’s actions drive the plot for roughly one-third of the actual story (roughly until Ashe becomes a permanent member) and Penelo was in the game long enough to have scenes deleted before the game shipped, as evidenced by scenes of her dancing in the early trailers. It’s also rarely pointed-out that young characters in FF are neither a guarantee, nor a sign of how that character will be perceived: Canonically, Cecil of FFIV is 20 (37 in the sequel!), and Cloud of FFVII is 21, but these ages are not necessarily how they’re perceived in the wider fandom of those games, generally speaking. Even in XII itself, Ashe and Vaan are only separated by two years (19 and 17 respectively) but players generally view Ashe as an adult and Vaan as a youth, based solely on demeanor.

--TL;DR

The game’s protagonist is Ashe

The game’s viewpoint character is Vaan

The parallel to Ramza Beoulve is Larsa

The parallel to Delita Heiral is Vayne

The thesis statement is Basch (& Gabranth)

The biggest connection to other Ivalice games is shared by Fran and Al-Cid

The narrator is Penelo

The Leading Man is Balthier

The character we begin with is Reks

The characters who actually move the plot are Cid, Reddas, and Ondore

The most important character is Migelo

If you’d consider this breakdown simplistic, that’s fine - that’s sort of the point.

--What is FFXII about?

Because of the shifts in game development, FFXII is actually about a few things. It’s not clear how many of them were Matsuno’s doing, past the first one. However, despite the unevenness of how these ideas are distributed and layered, they do tend to intersect in ways that make the story work. XII is about, in some respect:

Life under Imperialism, and ways to resist, the perils and necessities of radicalism

What we do (or do not) owe to those who have fallen / the cycle of revenge

Self-loathing, specifically regarding the choices we make when we are young - usually choices we feel are not choices at the time

How did the world of Final Fantasy Tactics happen?

Grappling with the influence of Star Wars on the Final Fantasy franchise

A traditional “JRPG” theme regarding the value of free will in a world of gods

Some of these concepts are more high-falutin’ than others. Some of them are very genre or medium specific. What’s important is that essentially, all themes converge in the moment when Ashe chooses to destroy the Sun-Cryst at the Pharos Lighthouse.

--”Migelo’s not the most important character!”

Says you.

We spend a lot of time with Migelo at the beginning of FFXII, as Vaan is taking us through tutorial stuff and we’re getting a handle on Rabanastre and the layout of Dalmasca. Once the journey begins, however, we don’t see a lot of him. What is Migelo’s role in the story? Other RPG protagonists or viewpoint characters have had parents or parental figures that are left behind, but that is their only job - to be the guardian you leave behind to prove that you’re meant to grow up. But Migelo has scenes with Vayne, the primary antagonist - the final boss - that Vaan does not interrupt. When speaking to NPC’s in town, many are talking about Migelo, more than talk about Vaan himself. Why?

Migelo’s role is also, essentially, a tutorial. As you’re learning how combat, rare game hunts, and the bazaar shop work, Migelo is teaching you how to interpret the story. His role is to introduce the theme and tone, because it’s not like other FF games. I’m not sure if “subtle” is necessarily the right word, but many elements of the game rely upon you understanding the implications of the world that you are in, rather than have the characters constantly reiterating those details to you (this begins to break down towards the end, evidence that Matsuno’s hand had left the wheel a bit).

Everyone in town has an opinion specifically of how exactly Migelo acts with the Archadean Empire. Vaan and Penelo have a two-line exchange to draw attention to this, but many NPCs change dialogue after seeing Migelo kowtow to Vayne (as he’d previously done with the guards to save Vaan at the gate earlier). There is a conflict in Rabanastre between resistance and survival. Migelo places his pride below the safety of the orphans that he looks after. The game does not offer definitive judgement on his actions, but asks that you consider that the question exists. It’s suggested he might “lose” the occasional crate and that it finds its way to Vossler & co., but unlike Vaan, who is consumed with directionless anger after the death of his brother - who uses that anger to place himself and others in danger - Migelo is willing to suffer scorn for the sake of his family in the shadow of the occupying force.

I think it’s pretty pointed that Migelo is wearing, essentially, a yarmulke in his role of shopkeeper who’ll suffer scorn for survival under oppression.

The imperialist nightmare that accounts for Dalmasca’s daily life is reinforced with the only other real town you can visit before the game gets going - Nalbina Fortress, where civilians rebuild their own town so that they can be paid by the people who destroyed it in the first place, even as that town is used as a prisoner for political dissidents. It’s a very potent metaphor for imperialism as a whole. Are these civilians wrong for doing so? The game does not decide. People must feed their families, and the insurgence - pardon, resistance - still exists.

These sequences set the tone for the varied decisions the characters must make or have already made, as the narrative focuses on age seventeen as a person’s fulcrum point.

--I was seventeen, it was a very bad year

The cast of Final Fantasy XII, especially the men, each make important decisions at seventeen:

Basch chooses to leave his homeland of Landis, and Noah chooses to stay behind. Landis is conquered; Noah resents his brother for years. Basch holds firm to his choice, as one would expect of the resolute knight/samurai character, but in rare moments his mask slips and his doubt is laid bare.

Ffamran flees home and his role as a low-ranking judge of the Empire, taking a new name for himself as the pirate Balthier. He claims to have chosen freedom, but his every moment in the game is consumed with thoughts of the father he believed lost to madness. We cannot know for sure, but it is likely that Fran was seventeen, or perhaps the Viera equivalent, when she also chose to leave the Wood.

Reks chooses to fight for his homeland, and specifically for his brother Vaan. He dies after torture and perceived betrayal, broken.

Vayne murders his older brothers at his father’s orders, securing his position as heir to the throne while also losing the confidence of the Imperial Senate. He believes himself damned for his position and is subsequently willing to perform monstrous acts so that his younger brother Larsa can rule free of influence and pain (upon getting magicite infusion and  letting the Occurian “heretic” Venat take a ride, this veneer of motivation is stripped away and nothing is left but the monster - it’s not clear how much of this act is motivated by his losing his only friend but he was long past redemption in any case).

As the game opens, the two heroes - Ashe, our protagonist, and Vaan, our viewpoint character, are set to face their journeys. Ashe had her decision taken from her at seventeen - her father and husband were killed and she was spirited away, and so she did not have the agency to make a choice. Vaan is now seventeen and a knot of directionless resentment and anger who has not made a choice.

In the Garif village, Ashe and Vaan have a heart-to-heart in which Vaan explains that he understands his motivations were misguided, but he does not know his place. He tells Ashe that he’ll find his direction with her - through her - and thus when Ashe’s decision comes, it is explicitly designed to determine Vaan’s fate specifically - if he will make a choice that will torture his days the way many others struggle to live with theirs.

--We made a feminist Star Wars by accident

Square-Enix is not... amazing with women. They’ve had many female characters whom women enjoy quite a bit, and I’ve no intention of challenging anyone’s beloved characters. All I mean to say is that when I say “feminist Star Wars by accident,” my tongue is firmly in cheek here, fully self-aware, but that is certainly a way to read what happened.

Final Fantasy has been wrestling with the influence of Star Wars for their whole lifespan. There’s always a Biggs and Wedge, lots of sequences have liberally borrowed... FFIX quotes The Phantom Menace at the end in this bit that really hasn’t aged that well despite largely being a pretty great game. Nobody can be sure at exactly what point it was that they decided to just “do Star Wars” in FFXII - if it was a way to take what they had and make a comprehensible plot in the wake of Matsuno leaving or being asked to leave, if it was Matsuno himself using the skeleton of Star Wars so that his Ivalice story would feel more traditional to other FF fans, if it was a course-correction to Vaan’s late-addition. We can’t know, and it doesn’t especially matter. What does matter is that in doing so, they made a version that’s... better? By certain metrics. Certainly it’s about Star Wars the way that the original film is about the serials Lucas grew up with, but in having Ashe as a protagonist, the journey of the two main characters actually follows a more sensible progression.

Putting aside portrayals for a moment, in a vacuum it would make sense if Princess Leia were the one tempted by the Dark Side, right? She lost so much more than Luke did, her grief and her anger would be so much greater. At any rate, the story of FFXII is essentially a story where we watch Leia through Luke’s eyes, as she is briefly tempted and then refuses that power, which would enable her revenge.

Ashelia B’nargin Dalmasca seems to be a difficult character for much of the game’s audience... well, at least much of the game’s male audience? - to wrap their minds around. She’s wearing some ridiculous FF sex appeal clothing, and all of the game’s advertising pivots her as being very coy or demure or traditionally feminine, but in the game she’s kind of a bitch - and I say that as a compliment. Square-Enix can use that key art of her touching her nose all they want, but this is an angry woman who suffered and wants to inflict that suffering, for much of the game. The “problem” is that Ashe is not masculine, not a “man with breasts” female character, but her journey is usually one given to men. She has a love interest die in order to motivate her, and she has to learn to give up her revenge before she does something monstrous - for part of the game she actually considers genocide, until being confronted with the means to achieve it.

If many characters in XII parallel those in FFT in different forms, Ashe is the parallel for Wiegraf Folles - the hero who fell, and the heroine who almost does, both of them the holder of Belias the Gigas first and foremost.

The plot of XII echoes Star Wars more or less beat for beat as we follow desert rat Vaan and his rogue allies and wiser companion until they rescue the princess... at which point the plot still echoes the film, except the princess is clearly the protagonist and upon being rightfully restored, the focus remains upon her.

“Gamers” who bring up “who could have been the main character” are all alike in a very specific way. They all claim that Vaan is bad, and that Basch or Balthier should have been the main character based on some notes about the game’s development. But they all steadfastly refuse to acknowledge that the game’s protagonist is currently Ashe.

It is Ashe who wants to leave Bhujerba and go after Raithwall’s treasure. It is Ashe who wants to speak to the Garif to learn how to unlock the magicite’s power. It is Ashe who agrees to accompany Larsa to Mt. Bur-Omisace, who wants to go to Archades as badly as Balthier, who follows Cid into Giruvegan, who decides to climb the Pharos, who declares she will enter Bahamut and stop Vayne.

And every step of the way, Ashe is advised by men, not left alone by men, her decisions are judged by men. And in fairness to the characters, some of that is deserved. Ashe cannot bear to shatter the stone with the sword, she talks about accruing power. She is the rightful Dynast-Queen and the stone only responds to her, but she speaks in terms far beyond freeing her realm from occupation. But Ondore treats her as a figurehead and does not want her to act with her own agency, Balthier and Fran snipe at her constantly and Balthier especially cannot view her decisions through any lens but his issues with his own father. Al-Cid flirts, Vossler infantalizes, Larsa tries to hold the moral high ground, and Vaan keeps interrupting her.

“I am no false saint for you to use!”

Again and again...

“I am simply myself. No more and no less. And I want only to be free.”

...Ashe tries to reclaim her agency. Her Quickening quotes are ”I must endure” and “I must be strong” and “I must believe.”

The “insurgence” vs. “resistance” joke is a pretty loaded one, because on the one hand, it’s about politics, about how imperialism views resistance, how the narrative can be changed, but on the other it’s about attempts to strip Ashe’s identity away and give her a different one.

Ashe does not get the choice at seventeen, and so at nineteen she stands at the top of the Pharos at Ridorana and Gabranth takes the Darth Vader role, the Emperor role as well: accept the power offered, let revenge damn you. And what she sees is Vaan pick up the sword, and look to her.

The defining moment of Final Fantasy XII is but a spare few seconds as these two young people share a single look. Vaan is at the point of his seventeen-year-old decision here, and Ashe at last has the agency to make a choice. Vaan is many things in this moment - a sort of younger brother figure, in the Luke Skywalker role. Literally one of her subjects, and thus a symbol for her as queen, for how she will consider the welfare of her citizens over everything else as a ruler. As a younger version of all of these men who have pushed her, even as a younger version of herself, less far-gone in being lost to hate.

And because she’s the hero of the story, she discards the stone. And inspires Vaan as well to cast his desire for revenge aside. She inspires him so fully that at the game’s end Vaan uses Gabranth’s blade to land the final blow to help enable Gabranth’s dying redemption.

The focal moment of the story, and it does not work without Vaan there - Vaan is necessary to make the story work.

--Vaan and the male “Gamer”

If you want to know why a certain sort of game-player is so insistent upon reminding you at every moment that Vaan was not always intended to be in FFXII, I think you need look no further than the above image, which is official artwork.

There’s nothing about the above image to appeal to a straight male “gamer.” I’m a straight cis male myself, so I’ll not make assumptions as to whether anyone else likes the look.

Vaan’s abs have been a meme for a decade because of the bizarre choice in how they chose to render them in game, it’s true. In that respect, he’s always looked weird. The rest of his character design is pretty obvious, however. He’s a desert street rat, Vaan Ratsbane, and so he’s meant to explicitly reference Aladdin. The shirtless vest, the band around his waist. But this is a major promotional image, and it’s relying upon a sex appeal you don’t normally see in male video game characters.

Vaan is a viewpoint character, but he is not the protagonist. Vaan is who you control as you run errands. Ashe talks to gods. Balthier looks cool standing at the rim of a prison arena and saying fantasy-racist slurs to provoke some bullies. Basch gets to have noble speeches. Vaan provides comic relief and his most-known moment is when he claims to be someone else to attract attention.

A certain contingent of those who play games do so in order to be supplied with a power fantasy, a wish fulfillment. One would think having Vaan get the best stats and stand up to Gilgamesh and Zodiark and Ultima and Vayne would be enough, but the game does not treat Vaan as wish fulfillment in that way. And they can tell.

Cloud Strife, in the original Final Fantasy VII, is actually a scared and lonely boy who has constructed a personality around himself that appears cool, detached, and badass. Ostensibly the game is about peeling that shell back to see the the boy beneath. But the game’s style, the length of time spent on the “badass” part, and the way the spin-off media treats the character have all worked to leave the traditional gamer affirmed. They’re riding the motorcycle, they’re fighting in the Gold Saucer arena, they’re battling Sephiroth. Final Fantasy XII does not do this.

The character above is not wish-fulfillment for men in part by looks - he is not muscled, he is not “cool” the way Balthier is, and his biggest cutscene action is screaming as he stabs the enemy with someone else’s sword. He’s not wish-fulfillment in the game itself because despite his good stats, every character can play every role competently (even if in the job system, certain characters using certain jobs will be very sub-optimal), and in general viewpoint characters are rarely wish-fulfillment because every other character knows more about what’s going on than they do. Ivalice is a complicated world, and somebody needs to have it explained to them or the player will not be able to follow along, but many players hate getting explanations.

It’s not his youth, either, I hasten to point out: Ramza was young. Denam was young. Nobody has ever taken issue with them in the way they have Vaan. It’s specific issues with Vaan that they have.

He’s more “feminine,” despite being perfectly capable at all times. It’s the lady in the pink miniskirt who does all the cool hero stuff. That’s what people hate. That’s why they always namecheck Basch or Balthier. Despite the game’s plot hinging on Ashe, the character they want to be is a more traditional male hero.

A viewpoint character is especially important in FFXII, however, when you consider that the game is not necessarily played in a vacuum.

--XII as prequel

It’s hard to tell exactly what shape XII would have taken before the outside influences. It’s easy to believe that with Matsuno leading the whole way, it would be a better and more complete work, but we can’t ever really know. It’s interesting to view XII through a lens where its relation to the other Ivalice games matter, however, because many decisions have rather more import when that knowledge exists. The game plays differently when you’re playing it as a prequel, versus a game of its own.

The Final Fantasy Tactics continent of Loar exists in XII-era Rozarria, somewhere far-off to the west. And Rozarria is (if you’ll pardon the term) the “Phantom Menace” of FFXII, always lurking in the shadows, always looming over events. Many, many of the decisions that many characters make in the game are motivated by the knowledge that any provocation could bring Rozarria into the fray more actively, and in so doing cause a war that would wipe out Dalmasca completely. After all, as Migelo would tell you, occupation is monstrous, but it’s better than death. And so Rozarria becomes, in a sense, the spectre of Final Fantasy Tactics itself, always just out of frame, never forgotten. It is Rozarria in the final act which enacts the false flag operation which leads to the climax - an explicitly Dycedarg maneuver!

Al-Cid invites Ashe to visit the Ambervale of Clan Margrace when the hostilities have ceased. The “Ambervale,” of course, was the site of the final battle in Final Fantasy Advance, the game where we first meet Montblanc at a younger age. The other games aren’t forgotten.

Final Fantasy XII occurs pre-Cataclysm, and establishes that there have been many such world-ending events in the past. Out of control nanotechnology, Esper wars, all sorts of events (almost assuredly the inspiration for how FFXIV treats its Calamities). This is a deliberate tie to FFXII’s use of the cycle of revenge and hostility, but it also prompts the informed player to watch the game’s events as a sort of ramp-up to the Cataclysm. We don’t run into Ajora or Germonique here, we don’t see the Cataclysm occur, but the game is asking the player to understand the way these political battles become events that cannot be walked back, how small events can have ramifications, how sickly ironic viewpoints can be in retrospect.

The Viera maintain their isolationism even after being confronted with matters of global scale. In ninety years’ time, the Viera will cease to exist, making this sequence a tragedy in a way it does not for a player who does not know the other games.

Bergan (& Venat) kill the Light of Kiltias and end the Kiltian religion. As a consequence, Pharism will spread and Ajora will rise up to create the events of FFT.

Larsa, the youngest brother, echoes Ramza in demeanor, in signature weapon, in naivety about his elder brother, only to stand a hero in the name of peace.

Vayne may have motivations that stem from love and justice, but his actions are monstrous. Here’s a key: next go-round, note the way the word “Necessity” recurs through his story, and compare it to how Delita’s story uses the word “Endeavor.”

We learn Ultima’s origin, we see why Zodiark is different, we form a connection with Belias.

The Mist is introduced as a central element (inspired by FFIX, which was in turn inspired in places by Tactics), while knowing the Mist will no longer exist post-Cataclysm, which suggests all sorts of things about why the magick system is different and the world is so changed.

These things are not necessary to the understanding of the game’s story - some references to the past are even the sole provenance of the localizers (calling the naturalist “Merlose” in the Clan Primer is just Alex O. Smith having fun, for instance) - but the weight of history - and of the future - very much solidifies ideas that the game is already talking about.

--And so

The expression “The whole is greater than the sum of its parts” could have been invented for Final Fantasy XII, because it’s quite obvious that many parts were created with different goals in mind. There is noticeable friction between those parts in many places (isn’t it weird that they get captured and then escape from the same ship twice in just a few hours of gametime? Or, I get that him being Boba Fett makes this part of the joke, but Ba’Gamnan is really sort of a dead end, huh?) but the whole of XII works, and if that’s in spite of itself, that doesn’t matter, only that it does.

And there are many valid criticisms to level at the game, but the predominance of certain criticisms, the laser-focus of a certain type of “gamer,” suggests that those issues have less to do with the game itself than with certain other reasons.

I look forward to playing The Zodiac Age in a few months, as I’ve never gotten to play the IZJS edition of the game. That is very much the draw for me, rather than the visual improvements - I find myself quite nervous about how those are going to go, actually, and not every single change to IZJS was wholly positive, even if many of them are - and it’s always nice to have an excuse to revisit one of my favorite titles. Gameplay-wise, XII was somewhat ahead of its time. It took titles like Xenoblade to catch up to what XII was doing with its west-meets-east, MMO-inspired flavor, and I’m rather fond of it despite its issues.

But mostly, I’m hoping it’s a chance for many to go back and reexamine a game that was and is very unfairly maligned, and especially so for the wrong reasons.

#Musings #Ashe #Vaan #Migelo #Balthier #Fran #Larsa #Penelo #Basch #Vayne #Gabranth #Cloud #FFXII

[toomanyskeletons]

do all the oc asks ALL of them for AT LEAST two of your ocs (evil laughter)

“evil”

you act as if talking extensively about my ocs does not bring me joy (i’ll only do two probably bc i do have some asks from other people so i’ll have to do those with other ocs, and i’ll try to stick to the same two for the most part.

or three. maybe three.)

anyway let’s begin

1. if they had a tumblr, what would they post about?

Sam: hmm i think probably some blog like. Mostly trans positivity posts with scattered posts abt how much she loves her gf

Amelia: considering her popularity status she’d run some blog like. U kno the blogs tumblr celebrities run i guess? So like. Reblogging a few general funny posts and answering select asks while getting like 200 every day.

 2. what’s their favourite colour?

 Sam: she likes blue :o like. Light blues. Also she keeps her hair dyed light blue as well

Amelia: purple. Honestly idk much more i can say about this.

 3. What makes them laugh?

 Sam: shitty puns and memes, mostly. The type of person who laughs out loud when u just say ‘egg’. She’s probably still into ‘xD tacos’ random humour.

Amelia: the polar opposite of sam in this regard. Laughs at intellectual humor. Like. rich fancy people. I know it exists but i cant think of any specific examples. Politely laughs at things people say are funny but she does not find them actually funny.

 4. If they had one day left to live, how would they spend it?

 Sam: “lmao dw i’ll probably just go to hell anyway” wait no context is important. She’s like. Actually how do i make this not sound bad rip. Uh. basically she is a business partner of lucifer who is actually p chill but that’s another story

Anyway that means like. If she dies she’ll probably just come back as a ghost or a higher tier demon.

O fuk now i really wanna draw that

Amelia: panicking and trying to find a way to not die. She had things she wants to do and a public record to maintain and jeez  i just realised how much ames has changed compared the the first universe she was in. i mean YEAH completely different life experiences but rip

 5. Do they have any annoying habits?

 -this is really subjective bc of what different people consider annoying but

Sam: people say she laughs too much. That is not her annoying habit is, her annoying habit is tellling lucifer when people say that so lucifer can like. Ban them from reincarnation or put a curse on them or something like that. Also sometimes when she cant be bothered to go that extra step she might go into the past and become that person’s grandmother.

...that second one isnt really an annoying habit to most people but to the one guy who has to help keep control of time, it is a very annoying habit and what makes up like half of his job doings.

 Amelia: sometimes goes very over the top with things. One time she stole a magic book by becoming a security guard at the place where it was kept and then took the book and ran. So like, instead of doing things illegally, she did it also illegally and got a month’s pay from it as well.

I guess she’s like. Extra™

 6. What’s their favourite movie genre?

I s2fg i have mentioned this sometime in one of the long texts i have written involving these characters but i cant remember so

Sam: tbh probably more realistic/contemporary stuff, rom-coms, slice of life, coming of age etc. Like. her life is a science fiction/fantasy movie she’s a time traveler working with the dark lord lucifer ffs. Also she’d probably get annoyed on tiny details while watching historical stuff like

“That never happened”

“Sam it’s fiction, it’s a movie, how would they have known that”

“Well maybe they didn’t know it but it’s still fucking annoying”

 Amelia: probably similar to sam, her life is fuckin busy and always people and she’s famous so like. Escape from her life is to indulge in the normal things.

 Just as a side note this does take place in a modern-ish fantasy world so idk what fantasy movies would be considered there but. They exist. I’ll work this out sooner or later

 Also bonus character bc its fucking funny - Zeph: zephyr likes horror movies. She also likes to watch horror movies with her brother. Her brother does not share her same passion for horror movies. He has a certain threshold before he has to flee the room and cuddle someone. This is mostly why zeph likes horror movies. She is pretty picky with what she considers ‘good’ and spends most of her time making fun of horror movies.

And, like the rest of us, secretly freaks out when she is alone at night and hears a sound outside. But for significantly less long because she knows exactly how to make fun of it.

 7. What are their religious beliefs?

 Alright i might not (read: will not currently) answer this bc i’m still working out how to handle religion in this, bc basically there is historical evidence for how the world was created. But obviously that’s not the only component to religion?

Another point would be that actually i still havent got around to creating any religions yet.i still gotta get around to getting down a more detailed history of the world first but i am planning it

 8. What’s their current job (if they have one)?

Yes BITCH i have been WAITIGN for a question like this

 Sam: basically she made a deal with lucifer and runs many errands for them. But also they helped her a LOT when they helped her escape a shitty transphobic environment and also the two became best friends? So i mean she doesn’t get paid but that takes up a lot of her time

Also she, at one stage, becomes part of this thing called the council which i haven’t quite worked out how they work in this universe yet. Theyre a bunch of strong magic people who work in coordination with the Champion (more on this below) to put down rules about magic. Theyre a reused concept from this story i made when i was like. 10. So the idea does need some reworking.

 Amelia: amelia is the champion, which is basically the title given to the person who wins at a big magic competition. Its a p big job, lots of publicity and pr and often regretted by the people who do end up getting there

(like? This one guy? He was kinda like “oh yeah sounds fun” and then he fucking won and he was like “lmao i’ll lose next year” and then he kept the position for 7 years and after that got so fucking sick of it he faked his assassination and became a reclusive mysterious millionaire)

Anyway she enjoys it for the first while until there is a real threat of her being assassinated unlike the aforementioned dude

But she enjoys being around people to an extent, and like. She enjoys making people happy, so

 9. How do they react to confrontation?

 Sam: similar way to what i described before. Like. jsut the little things. Cursing them with the help of lucifer, becoming their grandmother, you know. The usual ways people deal with confrontation.

Amelia: curiosity, further questioning, keeping calm, kinda just. Being chill about it. She wants to make herself a better person, in general, and if someone is deliberately being a confrontational asshole she prefers to just state her point calmly.

 10. Do they have a criminal record?

 Sam: you know? Probably? She kills a bunch of assholes where it’s required, but also she legally doesn’t exist? So? Idk? She’s been arrested a few times, but considering there is no information on her existence at all-

*shrugs* idfk how the law works.

 Amelia: well, technically, no, she only did illegal things last universe and had a pretty fancy upbringing this universe, so there was no reason for her to do the illegals and also like. Public image and stuff. She worries a lot about public image.

 11. What’s their favourite plant?

 Another thing which i feel i have mentioned somewhere but idfk where

 Sam: likes hydrangeas. They’re pretty.

Amelia: can i just say. It is definitely not catnip. Actually. Maybe? Like. she had some pretty fuckin negative experiences with catnip where she destroyed reality for like a solid five seconds by accident and went to purgatory, but also she made two life friends out of it, so? Maybe catnip after all.

 12. Can they play any instruments?

 Sam: “does the kazoo count”

Amelia: nope

 But because this was boring, i’m going to do a special guest feature from her half brother ryan who is a semi-popular youtube vlogger/musician-y dude. or . whatever this world’s equivalent of youtube is. Uh. metube. Yotube. I’ll think about it.

 Ryan: he plays the guitar and sings and he’s damn fucking good at it and he knows it. Also he shares the same combination of forgetting how to outlet his anger in healthy ways + poor impulse control which means that about once every six months he has to buy a new guitar because he couldn’t get that song right and he hit the guitar against the floor.

(his dad is a writer and also an archangel,and one time he couldn’t work out how to start off a scene right so he exploded his laptop and had to use a typewriter for the four weeks while his other archangel buddy was fixing it - i’m getting off topic here)

 13. What are they proudest of?

 Sam: i guess just. Her life in general? Like. she’s survived up to this point, she’s doin shit, maybe not the shit she expected to be doing or the shit she imagined she’d be doing but she’s still doin it. Like. fuck you life. I survived. And she’s proud of that.

Amelia: that one time when she managed to keep her champion title the first time? And also when she made friends with the guy who she thought was a girl and also dead who turned out to be not a girl and alive and also was the champion for seven years rememebr that guy yeah that’s this guy. Anyway she made friends with him after settling some differences. And also when she stopped a whole organisation from murdering her yeah that was good too.

 14. What’s their biggest insecurity?

 Sam: okay this is Definitely Not Me Projecting here (hint: it’s me projecting) but she hates being seen as masculine at all and is very insecure when people refer to her or see her as masculine? Like if u call her butch She Will Cry and also why would you do that bc her and her girlfriend are femme as heck

Amelia: public image public image public image public image

Like. she doesn’t want to look bad, or like a bad public leader, but also, she just wants to do her own thing, u kno?

 15. What do they most often dream about?

Like. literally dream or daydream?

 Sam: probably. Mostly happy stuff. Plus random occasional vivid recollections of tramatic experiences.

Amelia: honestly who the fuck knows (i’d answer this properly but I am Almost Out O f Time)

 So yes almost out of time but thank you so much and doing this has inspired me to just completely rework my first book to make it more interesting

I know that sounds bad btu its not i promise i love oyu

(also there was a bunch of different formatting like italcs etc that was lost when icopied from here to docs sorry)

#my writing #my ocs #violetmanicwave