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spilledkauffie · 4 years

Text

Coulrophobia

Pairing: Sam Winchester x reader Word Count: 2.4k T/W: fluff! A/N: Happy Halloween!

It was Halloween night and you were finally getting to go out for once. Usually the boys, all of them, kept you in the middle of the couch watching a movie locked in the bunker, mostly because their fear of something happening to you on a perfectly creepy night, with perfectly creepy spirits bound to be everywhere. They’d had numerous encounters on Halloween and didn’t want you getting mixed into any of it, so the best option was to just stay home.

But this year was different, this year you were on the roads. And with enough requests and puppy eyes, you convinced the more susceptible Winchester, of whom happened to be your boyfriend, to take you out to the local Halloween & Fall festival the city you were staying in was hosting. There was going to be a ferris wheel, games, candy, and so many more traditions that you had altogether missed, but now you were finally getting a chance to feel a part of normal society, just for a night.

“Hey, uh, it’s getting dark, we better get going,” You heard Sam say from outside the motel bathroom’s door.

You quickly applied a swipe of tinted chapstick, knowing you’d probably be having some sort of candy, and didn’t want to deal with the smudges of lipstick. Stepping back and observing yourself in the mirror, you felt surprisingly cute. It had been a very long time since you remotely dressed up for anything, even if this was Halloween, it still counted in your book. Exhaling with a smile, you nodded and turned the door handle.

When you opened the door you found Sam leaning against the wall next to it. He immediately stood up straight, habitually pushed his dark hair back and looked you over. You couldn’t quite read his expression, he looked both impressed and nervous at the same time, creating his signature puppy look, as you had deemed it.

You bit your lip, wincing “too much?”

“No, no,” Sam stuttered for words shaking his head, “You look great!”

His eyes met yours; you swore you could get lost in them, “thanks,” you said in a softer tone than you intended to come out, but couldn’t help it, something about him made you feel so small, yet so safe. Part of you really did want to just stay at the motel with him, but the other part really wanted a real life date experience. Sam’s lips pulled into a small smile as he noticed you staring at him, making you blink repeatedly and blush.

“Hey, hey, Dorothy,” Dean came in the room with a 6 pack of his favourite beer, smiling as he quickly looked you up and down, “did you try clicking your heels and wishing you weren’t in a relationship with him?”

Sam huffed, closing his eyes for a moment, knowing it wasn’t worth it.

“You sure you don’t want to come Dean?” You offered sweetly, as you put an arm around Sam.

“Nah, you kids have fun,” he said opening a beer and sitting on the edge of a bed, “it’s slasher night on one of these old timey channels anyway.”

“Okay, well, have fun. Stay safe,” You walked over to him, placing a kiss on his cheek sweetly, before grabbing your purse and heading for the door, Sam following behind you.

He couldn’t help but notice the nice way your dress swayed with your walk, leading his eyes down to the little red flats you had found at a thrift store once. It might’ve been the first time he’d ever seen you in a dress and this was a pretty cute one for the first time. You really hadn’t over done it, it was just a blue and white checkered sundress, like Dorothy’s and you had your hair in two half braids with little ribbons in them and a little extra blush, nothing too fancy, but definitely a noticeable costume.

“Hey,” Dean called out, causing Sam to turn around, “have fun, okay?”

“Yeah,” Sam nodded knowingly, “we’ll uh, see you later.”

You waited for Sam outside the motel’s door, swaying your hips a little. The moonlight was starting to peek up over the pine trees as two of you walked over to the Impala, a rare occasion that Dean actually, willingly, let Sam take it outside of emergencies. The festival wasn’t very far from where you were staying, and the ride felt short with some classics playing in the background as you kept a wide eyed lookout for any appearances of the festival coming into sight.

After finding it, Sam followed the signs to a gravel parking lot, shifting it into the park and taking the keys out, “well, we made it.”

Smiling giddily, you could hardly wait, opening the car door and stepping out to see the silhouette of the ferris wheel from the setting sun. Accidentally forgetting to breathe for a moment, Sam’s gentle touch to your arm brought you back to reality, one you could hardly believe was happening.

“You okay?” Sam asked quietly.

“Y-yeah, sorry,” you tucked some hair behind your ear, with butterflies in your stomach, your wrapped your arm around his.

The two of you walked together to the entrance, cutely decorated by a scruffy hay bail archway adorned with purple, orange and green glittery, sparkling lights and little ghosts. There were people dressed like demons with pitchforks, and vampires and of course a girl as an angel with tiny fluffy wings. It all made Sam laugh under his breath, but he tried to hide it merely perking his eyebrows for their sake when one of them tried to be scary, knowing this was what most people thought of the supernatural world.

“I still can’t believe you wouldn’t even dress up as the scarecrow, you’re tall enough, you know,” you made conversation, walking leisurely through the hey matted path of the festival, both your hands now clutching the strap of the small purse you held in front of you lazily, your knees sometimes hitting it lightly.

Sam half smiled, hands in pockets, “I jsut- Halloween isn’t my favourite is all.”

“Oh, I’m sorry-”

“No, I didn’t mean like-” Sam paused, both physically and verbally, running his tongue against the inside of his bottom lip, “listen, you’re making it a world better than I’ve ever known it to be, but it’s just- my family.”

“I get it Sam,” you nodded reassuringly, “you’re hunters, I’m not surprised Halloween isn’t your favourite, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. You know that.”

For once Sam felt relieved to actually have someone just understand. He knew you said it, but now he felt it.

“Now, I’d like to enjoy this night Fall festival date with you,” you smiled, trying to get his mind off Halloween, “how about that?”

“Right, sorry,” Sam rubbed the back of his head, minorly embarrassed as he rustled his hair, “it’s been a while.”

Giggling at his rusty date skills, you took his hand and lead him around, leaning into his arm whenever you saw a cute couple, realising just how lucky you were to have someone; someone that could protect you from anything at that.

You both knew he’d totally demolish every and any game that involved shooting, so you decided to let others have a standing chance by just watching. Sam also didn’t want to bring attention to himself, while he wasn’t fully armed. Walking along all the stands was one of your favourite things. A few people offering balloons or candy stopping you for only a moment, before you continued.

Suddenly the hand in yours froze, leaving you to walk on a few paces before realising it. Turning back Sam had completely frozen, chest starting to rise and fall at an accelerated rate. It was nothing like him to just completely stop in his tracks, and you could feel something was wrong.

“Sam?” You asked, returning close to him.

A blank expression was all you got, and he wasn’t even looking at you, it was something in the distance. You looked to where he was staring, but found nothing.

“Sam,” you drew his attention to you, his lip twitching, as you placed one hand on his chest.

You studied him over quickly to see if anything was wrong, was he hurt, did he get a curse, was he feeling sick? And for the first time since you’d known him, you saw fear, a genuine natural human fear. He glanced away again, that nervous twitch coming back. You looked to where he was and saw the most likely suspect causing his fear: a clown.

“Sam, are you okay?” you looked up, gently and quietly asking.

“Wh-what, yeah, yeah” he assured you, with a twitching smile, “I’m totally-”

Sam flinched when a giggling clown nearly touched him on its way back to the cotton candy booth. Closing his eyes for a moment, he swallowed harshly, subconsciously squeezing your hand tighter, and turned to face you.

“Sam, we can go,” you told him, staring up at him, now becoming very aware of something you had never known before.

He suddenly came back to you, remembering you were at his side, “I’m fine, we should stay, you wanted to see more, c’mon.”

You cautiously continued, now being led by him through the festival. It was quiet between the two of you for the remainder of the walk, and you kept an anxious eye on Sam’s body language, noticing how he kept you closer to him now, and didn’t let go of your hand.

When the two of you made it to the ferris wheel, you looked up at it, with all its light and colours now shining brightly against a velvety black sky. The glistening colours reflected in your eyes as they slowly spun in the circular motion. Sam watched your face light up like a kid’s when it randomly changed colours on every cycled spin.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” You asked, smiling as you spoke.

“Yeah, uh, it sure is,” Sam gave a quick glance to the ferris wheel, then back to you, “it’s like nothing I’ve ever seen before.”

You turned your head, Sam giving you a look that made you very aware you were not talking about the same thing. The dim glow of dark blues and purples almost appeared to stain his skin, but giving his eyes a bioluminescent glow of sparkling lights. You moved closer, and he slipped his arms around you, keeping you close.

“Well garsh!” A loud, goofy voice broke the moment, literally making Sam shutter as the two of you turned to see the intruder, “you’re almost tall enough to be air traffic!”

The red nosed, white face, pink haired, big shoed clown was beginning to act like an airplane around Sam, who, rather than his annoyed expression when people made fun of him, had a distressed and anxiety ridden look spreading across his body.

“And holy wow,” another voice called behind you, “we’ve got matching shoes!”

Leading to a second clown joining his friend in joking with the two of you. Sam tried not to look at them, but also didn’t want to be entirely rude.

“Want a flower?” a third sprung out towards Sam, making him slightly step behind you, closing his eyes as if wishing it was all a bad dream.

“No, no,” you kindly put a hand up, “I think we’ll be going now, thank you. Sam?” you nodded away from the clowns.

The trio began faking big crocodile tears and frowning as the two of you left, which was mostly you leading Sam away from his worst nightmares. You passed the stands and booths, making your way back to the entrance, which also served as the exit. Sam now very aware of just how many clowns were at this festival, squeezing your hand and swallowing harshly every time he saw one. Before you knew it, you were safely at the Impala’s side.

Sam stopped you from turning to open the car door, gently tugging you his direction.

“Wanna talk about it?” You gently asked, leaning against the Impala.

“I- I don’t know. It’s gonna sound really dumb, but,” Sam stared at the ground, deciding how to word it, “I have an aversion or a disliking, um a fear maybe of clowns.”

“Okay,” you nodded.

“But that shouldn’t stop us from having a date night, I’m really sorry, let’s go back,” he tried to change the subject.

“Don’t be sorry, Babe,” you shook your head, knowing Sam had a bad habit of apologising when things weren’t his fault, “I don’t want to go back anyway.”

Sam smiled, only because he felt you were just saying that to make him feel better. It was quiet, aside from the crickets singing in a nearby field. You were studying Sam’s expressions; it was as if he was deciding if he should just “get over it” and take you back or if he should agree with you and just head back to the motel.

“This is so stupid,” he finally said, still feeling guilty, “I’m too old for this.”

“Sam, wait,” you grabbed his arm just in time, your touch persuading him to turn back to you, “this isn’t stupid.”

Sam sighed and stared away from you for a while, “but this is childish. I shouldn’t-”

“You shouldn’t what? Have a natural, understandable fear? Sam, it’s okay,” You rubbed his arm, smiling while you slipped your hand to be intertwined with his, “it’s not childish. It’s totally normal.”

Sam couldn’t help but scoff a little, “yeah, that’s not what Dean says.”

“Well, I’m not Dean,” you said, immediately drawing his attention to you, beautiful green eyes meeting yours as you looked up, “and since when did you start taking Dean’s psychological analysis serious?”

“Okay, okay, you win,” Sam smirked..

“C’mon, let’s go,” you tilted your head to the Impala.

The two of you got in, shutting the doors with a slight creak. You set your purse on the floor board and moved over to the middle of the bench seat. Sam started the car, reversing carefully before pulling off the gravel. Snuggling against him, he put his arm across the back of the seat.

The night was clear and the stars could easily be seen, as if they were little fireflies. You listened to the soft rock playing quietly and closed your eyes, head resting against Sam.

“Hey, how about when we get back, we get our own room for tonight?” You proposed, hesitating to look up for a moment.

“Yeah?” Sam smiled at you.

“Yeah,” you bit your bottom lip, “maybe I can make your night a little bit better.”

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