#morgana tells merlin of her visions and he sets out to stop them like when kilgharrah tells him stuff

[weakforarwen]

The Nightmare Begins 

Between Merlin, Gaius, and Kilgharra, I don’t know which of the three is the biggest fuck up in this episode. We’ll go one by one. 

First off, Gaius, who brilliantly thought hiding the truth from Morgana would help her. I understand his reasoning, to a certain point, but the moment she began lighting shit on fire - endangering herself and others - and suspecting she had magic, denying it stopped being a possibility. On the contrary, keeping her in the dark became dangerous. Morgana was scared of herself and that fear set off her magic. Her nightmares, which, by the looks of it, kept increasing in intensity and frequency despite Gaius’s potions, must’ve frightened her a lot; she knew they often came true, and that knowledge must’ve burdened her. She must’ve wanted to prevent her dreams from coming true and not being able to must’ve frustrated her. Plus, knowing she had visions of the future, and that they could only mean she had magic, would’ve been scary in itself. She knew Uther and Arthur would reject her, perhaps even Gwen. Furthermore, she knew Uther would likely kill her. So, all in all, Morgana felt alone and unable to be herself, and, on top of that, was being driven insane by a dangerous combination of nightmares and sleep deprivation. Morgana was slowly losing her mind, becoming more and more unstable and so was her magic. At this point, it made no sense to keep her in the dark. It wouldn’t make either her magic or her visions disappear. Did Gaius even have a long-term plan? Eventually, she would’ve exposed herself, perhaps in front of Uther. Besides, she already knew she had magic. She wasn’t sure, but she was pretty certain. The cat was already out of the bag, so to speak.

As for Kilgharrah, he told Merlin it was best if Morgana never knew the extent of her power - typical thing to say to a woman; he wanted her powerless and crazy. I can’t understand how someone who knew so much of the future couldn’t see the damage keeping Morgana in the dark would cause. One can only assume Kilgharrah’s true plan was to get Arthur killed, but not before Morgana grew in power. Didn’t he know that Morgause would tell Morgana of her powers? Didn’t he know that powerful magic couldn’t stay hidden for long? He knew it would be years before Morgana mastered her powers, but he still thought he could keep her in the dark? Didn’t it cross his mind that controlling Morgana would’ve been more helpful? Keep your friends close and your enemies closer? Assuming Kilgharrah truly wanted to stop Morgana, his problem was having tunnel vision. His solution to the danger posed by Morgana and Mordred was, in true Uther fashion, to simply cut it at the root. He never once considered the possibility that Morgana and Mordred weren’t inherently evil or beyond seeing reason (if seeing reason means not killing someone who killed their kind...)-

Although Merlin ignored Gaius and Kilgharrah to a certain extent, he still listened when they advised him to keep his magic from Morgana. Despite knowing she should know the truth about herself, he listened to Gaius when he said the king’s ward shouldn’t know his secret, and, despite his belief that Morgana wasn’t evil, he listened when the dragon told him Morgana couldn’t be trusted. That was Merlin’s fatal mistake, and all his other mistakes followed from that one.

I don’t understand why Merlin couldn’t share his secret with Morgana. Lancelot and Gaius knew and he’d never had any issues with them. Morgana had magic herself and had already openly opposed and defied Uther on many occasions. She was Merlin’s friend who once helped a druid boy escape Camelot and got thrown in the dungeons for calling Uther a tyrant. She trusted Merlin enough to confide in him. She trusted that Merlin wouldn’t fear her or disclose her secret to anyone. She was the King’s ward, and Merlin was Arthur’s servant, so she was possibly endangering herself by admitting her fears, yet she did it anyway. She was brave and desperate enough to, but, more importantly, she respected Merlin enough to share her deepest secret. All Merlin had to do was pay her back in kind. He could’ve trusted Morgana enough to share his secret, in the hopes that neither of them would be so alone anymore, and that Morgana wouldn’t feel so powerless and scared all the time. 

But, no, Merlin had to listen to Gaius and Kilgharrah on that bit of advice alone.

What was he thinking helping Morgana escape during the night so she could talk to the druids? Morgana had already been “attacked” by someone with magic, so Uther was already rounding up those with magic. Merlin just added fuel to the fire. Of course, Uther wouldn’t just accept Morgana’s disappearance. He’s not stupid either, he was able to find Morgana. She wasn’t exactly covering up her tracks. Merlin led Arthur and his knights straight to the druids. Their deaths, the loss of their possessions and home, is on Merlin’s hands.

In the end, Morgana didn’t even want to leave the druids because she’d found a place where she belonged. Merlin tried to force her to return to a man who’d kill her if he knew her secret. What kind of friend does that? Morgana would’ve been better off in the hands of the druids than in Uther’s or, worse, Morgause’s. Merlin may’ve only been trying to protect the druids, but it wasn’t right to force someone with magic to return to Camelot to live in secrecy and fear. Morgana didn’t want to be alone. Merlin had another chance at the druid camp to tell Morgana he had magic too, so she wouldn’t feel alone if she returned to Camelot. She might’ve gone willingly had she known Merlin could help her. Instead, Morgana watched Uther kill her kind and destroy her sanctuary, and embrace her like he wasn’t her jailer. How could Morgana not despise both Uther and Merlin after that? It’s clear she no longer had any love for Merlin by the end of the episode. She didn’t have any love for anyone, really. Her and Gwen were barely friends at that point. 

Merlin fucked up bad. In each episode where Merlin is tested and has the power to change Arthur’s destiny, he fails. Each time, he condemns Arthur to die. In this episode, he loses Morgana’s friendship and makes her hatred and resentment towards Uther and Camelot grow; in The Fires of Irdisholas, he nearly kills her and makes her his enemy for life; in The Crystal Cave, he saves Morgana but she learns the truth of her parentage and begins to loathe Uther even more and to covet his throne; in The Disir, he tries to kill Mordred by turning Arthur against magic, ensuring Mordred lives to kill Arthur. Really, Merlin might as well have killed Arthur himself. Episodes like these are always so frustrating. 

Some final observations, Uther’s love for Morgana is so inconsistent. When it’s convenient, he can’t live without her; otherwise, she’s only his ward. So, in this episode, in The Crystal Cave, and in The Tears of Uther Pendragon, Uther just had to get Morgana back before he lost his mind, and, because of Morgana, people died. In these episodes, Uther’s apparent love for Morgana is matched in intensity only by her hatred of him. Before season 3, however, Uther often didn’t seem to care much for Morgana. It really feels like the more she hated him, the more he loved her... Same for Arthur, really. It’s all very convenient.

I want to mention Arwen too. This was the episode after The Once and Future Queen and before Lancelot and Guinevere. There is only one Arwen scene, and it’s very small, but I think it gets the point across. Gwen was telling Uther she was certain she’d put out the candle in Morgana’s room. Arthur vouched for her, because Gwen had been a loyal servant to Morgana for many years. He said he trusted her completely and looked at her as he said it; Gwen smiled at him shyly in appreciation. The scene showed that Gwen and Arthur’s dynamic had very much changed. Arthur noticed and protected Gwen more now, and she him. 

Another scene I believe is related to Arwen is the one where Arthur tells Merlin he can’t like Morgana. Arthur saw Merlin take flowers up to Morgana’s room and also leave Morgana’s room in the middle of the night. He assumed Merlin liked Morgana romantically, so he, very helpfully, warned Merlin that Morgana was out of his league, that he was a servant so they could never be equals, that the King would kill him if he found out. I could be reading too much into it, but Arthur even said something along the lines of “Trust me, I would know”. It seemed as if he was talking about his own situation with Gwen. 

#bbc merlin #bbc arwen #morgana #merlin #arthur pendragon #arwen #gaius #gwen pendragon #uther #the nightmare begins commentary #the nightmare begins

[help-i-need-a-cool-username]

Been thinking about what Mordred's life in Camelot would've been like if Merlin didn't hate him and then thought about how if Morgana was around she would probably always give him her favor at every tournament (until he married) and the other knights would tease him for that so have a broad outline for a Beloved Characters Dont Turn Evil AU

Morgana discovers her magic and Merlin swears to her that he'll protect her. He comforts her when she's scared and Merlin begs Gaius to share his knowledge and suspicions about Morgana to Morgana herself. One night Morgana bursts into their quarters in hysterics, waking them up, screaming and sobbing, and it feels like Merlin's hug is the only thing holding her together but its not enough. Glass starts shattering, candles flare, chandeliers fall to the ground. Gaius decides at this point not telling her will do considerable more harm than not, to both herself and others. They stay up through the night. Gaius speaking and Morgana asking questions, Merlin with a supportive hand on Morgana's shoulder. At one point Morgana tearfully asks the question Merlin asked Gaius long ago, "am i a monster?". They all fall asleep at the table, and that morning when Gwen arrives to wake Morgana only to find her absent with her blankets thrown over the bed and several things knocked over she runs and alerts the guards. The guards initiate lockdown and the commotion reaches Uther and wakes Arthur (Merlin is once again late), and they proceed to fear she was kidnapped right under their noses without anyone knowing. Arthur runs down to get Merlin so he can prepare him for the day only to open the door to find the three of them asleep on the table.

Later Merlin organizes for Morgana to learn more than Gaius can tell her from the Druids, but she intends to stay the night at least, if not then significantly longer (anywhere from a week to several months), and they have no good excuse for her to use that would allow her to leave without Gwen and guards. They come up with some very convoluted plan, which does not end up in the raid that occurred in canon, and when Gwen catches her sneaking back she lies and says she wanted to check up on Mordred (who she did run into), to see if he was with the Druid encampment that was rumored to be nearby (which he was). She didn't learn nearly as much as she hoped in those few hours, but they at least pointed her in a direction.

Morgause comes to town, and leaves Morgana her bracelet. After discovering it stops her visions Morgana takes it to Gaius, who reveals it was enchanted and looks similar to the one Lady Vivienne used to wear. Morgana states Morgause got it from her mother, but that Lady Vivienne was Morgana's mother and wonders how the bracelet ever got to Morgause. Gaius says there was a rumor that Lady Vivienne had a baby that displayed a affinity for magic, but Gorlois told Uther their baby had died before they even named her. Gaius reveals that the baby was smuggled out of Camelot and given to the High Priestesses, and Morgause might very well be that baby. Morgana begins to long for a connection with Morgause, to meet the sister she never knew of and recover something of her dead parents. When she begins secretly meeting Morgause, she tells Merlin and then asks him to come with her when she begins receiving lessons from her. Morgause tries to convince them that killing Uther is the right thing to do, but Merlin keeps reassuring Morgana that all they need to do is convince Arthur to change the law for when he is king, and he's not ready to do that now so theres no use in killing Uther before he's ready, and that she does love Uther and Uther does love her and would try to "fix" her well before he ordered her death. Morgause still wants him dead, to rush the prophecy of magic's return. Them sneaking out every few nights cements the idea that Morgana and Merlin are secretly dating in castle gossip.

Im not sure what happens with Morgause, but i think she would still take Camelot at some point and she would spare Morgana and by extension Merlin. Morgana and Merlin make sure to get Arthur out (and Merlin probably goes with him) because they dont trust Morgause to not kill him. Morgause reveals her heritage (and makes Morgana a Princess and her Heir) despite claiming the throne for people of magic and not the House of Gorlois, and the knowledge that Vivienne and one of her daughters were sorceresses leads Uther to believe he can not save Morgana from magic that is likely in her blood and THAT is what breaks his mental state. Morgana's real heritage is revealed soon after, with Uther informing Gaius that Morgana being a Princess is actually within her birth rights. Morgause continues Morgana's training because at some point Morgana has to become a High Priestess because canon. That or Morgause switches sides (this is a Beloved Characters Dont Go Evil AU might as well make it No Beloved Characters Are Evil AU) and she trains Morgana later after Arthur is a established King.

Morgause is overthrown and the Round Table formed. Arthur as well as several people in the castle know of or suspect Morgana of being a sorceress but he refuses to banish her, first believing it to have been out of her control (forced by Morgause) and later learning that her nightmares had been magic all along (how could he punish her for something he knows she had tried to get rid of for over a decade?). Perhaps he lets her keep the title of Princess, having always seen her as a sister (and someone who is compassionate for the people in a way royalty should be) and armed with the new knowledge of her being his actual sister. Everyone expects Regent Arthur to crack down on magic, its what Uther would have done and what the people want, so he does. Morgana becomes a advocate for magic, as she had been for Arthur in private as a Prince, and it scares people in the castle. They believe her to be working with Morgause, despite her arguments being for individuals' wellbeing and how punishments fuels hatred for Camelot. Several attempts are made on her life, many stopped by Merlin and Gwen and sometimes Lancelot. Arthur often "asks" Merlin for his opinion on magic and with Morgana's voice being public he feels okay with being straight with Arthur on what he thinks. Uther dies same as he did in canon: protecting Arthur from a assassination.

Mordred becomes a Knight because canon. Morgana is ecstatic to see him again and acts like a mother who hasn't seen her child in ages when she first sees him. Merlin has learned you often make the enemies that are destined to kill you (ex. trying to stop Morgana's visions from coming true) so he ignores Kilgharrah and doesn't hate Mordred (he is always wary though). Mordred alternates between childlike eagerness around the knights and following Merlin around while hero worshiping him (no one can figure out why. Their best guess is that Morgana is a mutual friend). In the beginning he kept messing up his name (calling him "Merlin" is just weird) and they often talk in their heads and therefore just stare at each other which has led to two conflicting rumors: theyre in love or they hate each other. Morgana often invites him to dinner, and when they dine with Arthur they easily slip into mind-talking (because chewing) and Arthur is convinced that they're making fun of him every time they do it. He protects Arthur when Merlin can't, often runs off to do side quests Merlin needs to do but cant get away to do, and often tags along with Merlin on his quests. Being able to share the knowledge of his destiny since Lancelot died (if he dies in this AU) relaxes Merlin's caution and allows him to be emotionally closer to him. Mordred enjoys being around Merlin and Morgana not just because he's Emrys and she's Morgana, but because they are the closest thing to home he has: they know what he is, they understand (bits) of his culture and make it possible for Mordred to share it with them, their individual magic sings strong enough to remind him of when he lived surrounded by it. He quickly grows to love them so very much and no one understands WHY. The knights tease him about it, and Morgana forcing Arthur to take Mordred on certain missions he isnt qualified for "so he can learn" does not help. Gwaine and Percival were planning to convince him that he couldnt compete in a tournament without a lady's favor because he's the rookie and his panicked look greatly amuses them only to find Morgana giving him her's before kissing his cheek. They were relentless after that, alternating between "lady's favors dont count if they're from your mom," "Mordred has a girlfriend," and whatever the medieval version of affectionately calling him "Bambi" is. Morgana sits in the stand's throne (since Arthur is competing) or besides it if Gwen is queen, and she flashes a smile at him when he comes out (Gwen too. He's a sweet kid with a baby face, of course he's one of her favorites. He also reminds her of Merlin when she first met him: kind, awkward, cute). This settles Mordred's nerves but has the unfortunate side effect of increased teasing. Merlin doesn't let it go to far, he never does, and gives them a distraction before running back to Arthur.

And then magic is brought back to the land and Morgana continues the work of the High Priestesses and helps the rebuilding efforts and they're still adventures and problems, but everyone Lives Happily Ever After

#hinacu merlin #bbc merlin #morgana #mordred #merlin #morgause #au #morgana is good au #mordred is good au #to clarify merlin and morgana never date #its just castle gossip and arthurs assumptions #mordred has familial love for morgana and no you dont need a family dynamic for that #people make mom jokes but its not like that #morgana cares a lot about people and wants to protect them but mordred is ''new'' and ten years younger than her #so mom jokes are too easy #morgana tells merlin of her visions and he sets out to stop them like when kilgharrah tells him stuff #and then she gets her bracelet and that stops but its not like merlin can ask her to take it off #idk when morgana finds out about his magic #maybe he tells her about the whole dragonlord thing but i dont trust her not to NOT say something about it when defending him #he def would have kept it a secret around morgause and in canon she didnt seem to know his power but nimueh did so who knows #i like to think she has no idea that he has powerful magic that hes actually super weak with it since he almost never does magic #big fan of mordreds silent hero worship

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

The Gang FINALLY sees how much of a BAMF Merlin is:

 A smidge of Angst, but only because everyone is stupid :)

Part 4 of Merlin’s angry outburst. The Gang has ridden out (refusing to let Merlin and Arthur go alone) to a battlefield that will only have two bodies on display. One of them is Merlin’s.

This was meant to be the last bit but it was getting so long and I kept thinking of extra shit to put in soooooooo. Hopefully this is the penultimate part? But who knows lol.

TW: Lots of death (the final battle yo)

Part 1   Part 2   Part 3   Part 5

They ride the whole first day in silence. Not even Gwaine has any jokes or stupid stories to tell, and the atmosphere is tense.

The time between Morgana rushing into the council meeting, and the group riding towards what looked to be Merlin's death, had blurred by. No one really had any time to think, but now, riding in silence, all they could focus on was the fact that they were knowingly heading to what could be Merlin’s demise.

No one concentrates on anything but urging their horses to travel as fast as possible, and Arthur shortly telling everyone to stop and make camp were the first words spoken for the whole journey.

No one replies, they just dismount their horses, and wordlessly go about clearing an area for the fire, laying out food, and checking the surrounding area for danger.

Merlin stalks off before anyone can stop him, intent on setting up some wards before anyone settles down. He’s clearly pissed, and Arthur shakes his head when Lancelot gives him a look, ��Want me to go with him?” .

Arthur follows instead, trusting the others to set up properly whilst he and Merlin have a much needed private conversation.

It doesn't take too long to find him. He's noticed that, recently. Ever since the link was forged he always seems to be able to find Merlin first try. Before, he had to scour the whole castle to have a chance of finding his wayward manservant (and then his wayward Court Sorcerer), and even then sometimes he couldn't manage it.

It's comforting. In a way. Knowing that they'll always be able to find one another.

Arthur sees him in the trees ahead, facing away from him, his hands up in front of his body. He can hear him muttering something that Arthur doesn’t understand under his breath.

Years ago, Arthur would think that Merlin hadn't noticed him. But Arthur knows him better now. He knows the ever so slight hitch in his Sorcerer’s left shoulder means "I hear you. I see you. I know you're there." .

"You can't know that everything's going to be ok."

Merlin sighs and turns back to look at him, still visibly frustrated with everyone’s obvious fretting. Neither make any moves to walk closer:

"Course I can. I had a chat with Kilgharrah on the way here-"

(He taps his forehead as he says this)

"-no other Emrys-killing weapons have been made, and the only one anywhere near us, is yours. As long as you don’t stab me, I'll be fine."

Arthur huffs and shuffles his feet at this:

"Merlin, the vision. You weren't waking up and you heard what Morgana said. Why are you so intent to ride to what is almost certainly going to be your death, when our armies could win this battle anyway?"

Arthur is trying to sound firm, but his face gives him away. He was never all that good at hiding his true emotions when it was just him and Merlin, and his expression is sad and desperate.

It's only at that, that Merlin walks towards Arthur, putting his hands on his shoulders:

"That vision doesn't show everything. And yes, that may have been the clearest vision Morgana has had during this whole bloody war thing, but the future is still fluid. Nothing is set in stone. Arthur, I'll be fine. And besides, an all out battle means blood spilt, theirs and ours. If I can do anything to prevent that, then there is no choice, not for me."

The King clenches his jaw, before pulling Merlin into a tight hug. The Sorcerer let's out a surprised "oof" but grips back just as tightly, burying a hand in Arthur's hair.

Arthur speaks aloud this time, so quietly Merlin barely hears it even with Arthur's face in his neck. Perhaps thinking this is important enough that it has to be vocalised:

"Why have you got to be so bloody self sacrificial? I couldn't bear to lose you, Merlin. I need you with me, by my side."

Merlin smiles slightly at that, but doesn't let go:

"I'll always be with you. Nothing in this life or the next, could pull me away from you. I...-"

He hesitates here, but Arthur tightens his grip, and he takes a deep breath before continuing:

"-...this is where I belong. Right here, right now. With you."

Arthur squeezes him once again and pulls back, gently laying his forehead against Merlin's, very reminiscent of the spell cast all those weeks ago.

The both of them keep their eyes closed, even as Arthur speaks:

"We're having a conversation about... this, when we get back. We're ALSO having a conversation about your self sacrificial tendencies."

Merlin laughs and pulls back at that:

“Only if we have a conversation about yours first.”

The King rolls his eyes fondly, and turns to walk back, but pauses momentarily, without looking back:

“I may not understand your magical mutterings, but I know that you’ve finished setting the wards up. Are you going to come back? Or are you going to come up with another excuse for you to watch me leave so you can stare at my arse?”

Merlin flushes at that, and lets out a mumbled “Shut up.” before speed walking past a laughing Arthur, towards camp.

The whole group seems to relax once they realise that the tension between Merlin and Arthur had been resolved (or at least... changed. A different type of tension. The type that made Leon want to lay their bedrolls on opposite sides of the camp).

The evening passes quietly, nothing of note happening, and soon enough, everyone is asleep.

The next few days aren’t quite as tense, but they still hurry their horses, taking few breaks. It was wordlessly agreed that they wanted to get there as quickly as possible, so that they might have time to assess the situation properly.

Everyone was still understandably worried, but with Merlin being so relaxed, and Arthur seeming ok (ish) with what was happening, they kept their anxieties to themselves.

It’s the second night they stop to make camp, that Gwaine informs them that if they keep the same pace and get up early, they should be there just before noon the next day. 

Everyone is a little tense at that, but Merlin speaks first:

“I’d say the rain isn’t going to hit until noon. If we move quickly, we should have at least a little time to plan..”

The group once again relaxes at that, grateful that they would at least have time to think things through, and check the surrounding area, before anything happened.

The relaxed atmosphere doesn’t last long, however. When they’d first stopped to make camp (that was around three hours ago now) Morgana had sat straight down, out of the way, and began to meditate. Without warning, she opens her eyes with a flash of gold, and lets a tear slip down her cheek before looking to Merlin.

He furrows his brows, and begins to speak before she can say anything:

“Morgana? What did you see?”

She lets out a humourless laugh, drawing even more worried attention from the group, before she replies:

“I’ve been trying to look past tomorrow. The near future, the far future, anything. Anything that might clue us in to the outcome. You know what I see?-”

Everyone is staring at her, clearly anxious, but she doesn’t take her eyes off Merlin, not even when Gwen places a gentle hand on her shoulder:

“-I see your mother and Gaius, quietly crying. I see Arthur, with a golden crown on his head, and a silver crown in his hands. I see a tombstone, with a name I can’t quite make out. I see your chambers, empty and cold, unlived in and covered in dust. I see... I see us. All nine of us that is, sat around our table. But one of the seats is empty, your seat. And all of us look... blank. That, is what I see, Merlin. And through all of it, I can feel your absence like a flame on my skin. I can see past tomorrow with ease. But I can’t see you.”

Morgana looks devastated. Everyone else in the group looking various mixes of shocked, scared, heartbroken.

Merlin nods slightly, and frowns staring into his lap. He was so certain that... logically, he should be fine. He’s died before and been fine. But Morgana’s visions are rarely that inaccurate, and if she’s stopped seeing his future entirely... well. It wasn’t a good sign.

He hums thoughtfully, before wiping the expression off his face and looking up determinedly:

“That changes nothing. I either do this, and everyone bar me survives, though I still think I’ll be fine, or we ignore your visions entirely, ride back to Camelot, and risk the life of every single one of Camelot’s citizens. And that’s not an option, so we’re just going to have to see what happens.”

Everyone opens their mouth to protest at the same time, but before any of them can make even a sound, Merlin jumps up, and speaks again. His voice is sharp, and invites no argument:

“NO. I said it’s not an option. This is what I do. I always used to hate the idea of a pre-written destiny, but if I’m meant to die tomorrow, then fine. So be it. I will NOT put my own life above anyone else’s. Especially not a whole kingdom’s, and ESPECIALLY not any of yours.”

He breathes deeply, and after giving a short glare to everyone individually, he sits down again. 

He’s seated between Arthur (who had barely left his side) and Percival, who takes the Sorcerer’s hand in his own, holding it in his lap.

Merlin smiles at him as he attempts to pull his hand back:

“I’m fine Perc, I don’t need comforting. I always figured I would end up dying before you lot anyway-”

Everyone shuffles uncomfortably at that. No one likes to think about outliving one of their closest friends:

“-not that I think I’m gonna stay dead anyway. But that’s not the point.”

Percival holds onto Merlin’s hand tightly, but stares into the fire as he replies quietly:

“This isn’t comfort for you, Merlin. It’s comfort for me.”

Merlin seems taken aback at this, like he had only just considered that his friends might need comforting in the first place. He forgets sometimes (read: most of the time) , that he is as important to these people, as they are to him. He can’t imagine willingly going to any of their deaths, not without putting up one hell of a fight.

He nods, after he wipes the shock from his face, and settles his hand in Percival’s, instead of trying to pull away:

“I’m sorry. I know this can’t be easy for any of you-”

(as he speaks, he lets his other hand subtly gather up the fabric of Arthur’s cloak, for his own sake or Arthur’s, he’s not sure)

“-but I need you to trust me. Believe me, I’m not trying to get myself killed permanently... I mean dying even temporarily isn’t exactly fun but... you know. I’ll be fine.”

It’s Gaius that replies first. The others were especially worried about the physician, he was practically Merlin’s father at this point, and none of them thought they could cope with having to comfort the man if they lost Merlin.

“It’s not that we don’t trust you, Merlin. We’re just... worried. And it’s not like you’re well known for considering your own safety when it comes to planning for any sort of conflict.”

Merlin looks as if he’s going to protest, but Gwen beats him to the punch:

“Don’t argue Merlin. You can’t deny that you have a habit of jumping head first into the fray.” She says it with a small smile, but it’s weak, and Merlin suddenly feels guilty for all those times he’s worried his friends. 

He threw himself into situations he was sure he would be able to survive, without considering the fact that none of the people he cared about had the same assurances. 

His reply makes everyone chuckle

“Yeah, well. You know me. I’ve never been much of a planner.-”

The Sorcerer squeezes Percival’s hand once more, before continuing:

“-But it’s late, and if we want to get up early we should head to sleep.”

The group nods in agreement, and all begin to shuffle to their bedrolls, having hushed individual conversations as Arthur declares that he and Merlin would take the first watch.

(No one questions it. They rarely set watches nowadays, Merlin’s wards have become incredibly reliable over the years, but all of them understand that The King and The Sorcerer need this time.)

Other than Merlin and Arthur, Percival was the last to leave his seat, ruffling Merlin’s hair as he gives him a weak smile, before making his way to his roll to undoubtedly toss and turn through the night, like everyone else.

The King and The Sorcerer didn’t move from their spots next to each other, and, at some point during the conversation, Arthur had replaced the clutched fabric of his cloak with his own hand.

They stay silent for a while, not really knowing what to say. Despite everyone’s worries, the rest of the group is asleep after not too long. It had been two days of hard travel and sleeping rough, and no one would admit it but they were all exhausted.

Both of them seem to realise that there was little chance of them getting to have those conversations at a later date. The two of them struggled individually on what would be worse: forcing the conversation now before it was too late but knowing that might be the end of it, or leaving everything unsaid and leaving Arthur with the regret.

Merlin was inclined to leave it unsaid. As far as he was concerned, he would still be fine (though he was now unsure if he was right, or if he was just in denial).

Arthur wanted to get it off his chest. He may be a tad emotionally constipated, but Merlin is... well... Merlin. It took him a while to realise his feelings for Merlin, but once he did, it was like an unending avalanche.

On some level, Arthur knew that Merlin felt the same, but would it be cruel? Or distracting? For him to voice it now, before everything?

He remembers saying weeks ago “We’ve plenty of time before things kick off” . But that time had passed. It had flown by. Arthur thought he would have forever with Merlin, even when the war was declared he wasn’t worried. But suddenly there was no more time. He might lose him tomorrow.

Did he want to taint what few hours they had left with an emotional confession that could wreck them both? Or should he leave it, steadfast in the belief that Merlin knew. Which would be crueller?

In the end, Arthur decided that he wouldn’t be able to live with it: the doubt, the regret, if he never said anything, and... something... happened.

He grips Merlin’s hand tighter in his own, and swallows, but before he could say anything:

“I know.” Merlin doesn’t look at him when he thinks it, but squeezes The King’s hand in return.

“No, I... you have to let me... I’ll never forgive myself if I don’t, so just-”

Merlin does look at him then, and gives him a gentle smile to stop him rambling:

“Ok, Arthur. I’m here, I’m listening, I hear you.”

Arthur meets his gaze, a steady stream of tears down his face that causes Merlin to frown slightly:

“I... Merlin-”

Arthur struggles with the words, thinking back, he can’t remember a time he’s actually said them out loud. Ever.

He clears his throat, straightens his back, and steels his eyes. Merlin deserved the truth. And Merlin felt the same, he had never been more sure of anything:

“Merlin, I love you. And if you don’t come back to me at the end of tomorrow, I will never forgive you.”

His resolve cracks slightly at the end, but Merlin smiles at him fondly, teary eyed himself:

“I love you too. And I already told you, Arthur, I will always come back to you.”

Arthur grips Merlin’s hand tighter, and buries his head in the Sorcerer’s neck. Merlin wrapped his arms around him, and leans back against the log they were sitting against.

They fall asleep like that, the two of them wrapped in Arthur’s cloak. At some point during the night, Arthur’s head had slipped down onto Merlin’s chest, but neither moved. If anything, Arthur found he could sleep easier with Merlin’s steady heartbeat in his ears.

~

The Gang woke when it was still dark, but not in the way they had planned.

They all wake with a start, automatically pulling out swords and summoning weapons, before they realise that the blizzard like wind and deafening roar, was just Kilgharrah, landing on the edge of their camp.

They settle for only a moment, before they realise that Merlin hadn’t summoned him, which meant he turned up of his own volition, and that meant he brought news. And knowing Kilgharrah, it probably wasn’t good news.

Merlin approaches him quickly, a frown on his face and Arthur close behind him:

“What is it Kilgharrah, is Camelot ok?”

The Dragon lowered his head to meet Merlin’s worried stare before replying:

“Yes, the city is safe, young Warlock. I have left Aithusa to watch over it whilst I tracked you here. The army you face is in front of you, not behind you.”

Morgana speaks up quickly after that, a frown on her face:

“What army? I haven’t foreseen any big battles in a while, believe me, I’ve been looking. The only people that should be in that meadow, is us, and whoever... and one other man.”

Kilgharrah looks over the group slowly before looking back at Merlin and replying:

“It appears, Emrys, that you will finally get a chance to show off the extent of your power. An army is waiting for you, in that meadow, and you are the only one with the capacity to defeat them.”

Merlin takes a deep breath, and clenches his hands (one of which is quickly taken by Arthur. Another example of neither of them knowing which of them the action was meant to comfort):

“I don’t know if I’m that powerful Kilgharrah, I’ve never-”

“The only reason you do not know the breadth of your power, is because you’ve never before come even close to your limits.”

“But I-”

“Your magic is tied to nature, Emrys. Use it. Bend it to your will. The entirety of the world will move at your whim, you need only ask-”

Before Merlin can reply, or ask what the hell that means, Kilgharrah lifts his head suddenly, as if hearing something, and looks briefly to Merlin once more as he replies, before flying off:

“Have faith, young Warlock, in yourself and in destiny. I must leave you now.” 

Everyone stands still, not quite in shock, but definitely confused, all bar Merlin, who just looks annoyed:

“Fucking typical. What’s the use of being a Dragon Lord if my giant pet lizard is going to be so bloody cryptic all the time.” is mumbled by the Warlock, as he looks towards the sun, just about rising over the horizon.

He sighs once more, before:

“Come on then. I suppose that was a good a wake up call as any. We should pack up and get going if we want to get a look at this army.-”

The next bit is mumbled to himself as he lets go of Arthur’s hand and wanders off to dismantle the wards:

“-And I suppose I now have half a day’s journey to figure out to beat it. That’s just great.”

It only takes a moment before the group launches into action, now freshly tense at the revelation that there was an army, and there was only ten of them.

They had faith in Merlin, and Morgana was there as well. And if everything really went to shit, there could be two dragons there to lend a helping hand (or claw) as well. But still. An army. That was big.

They’re riding out on the last leg of the journey within an hour, everyone having regained the tenseness that they had on the first day. Though all of them are slightly comforted by the fact that Kilgharrah hadn’t mentioned Merlin dying. He may be a cryptic bastard, but that definitely seemed like something he would bring up.

~

Gwaine’s directions and timings were accurate, they reached the edge of the seemingly empty meadow around half an hour before the sun hit the centre of the sky.

They remain hidden in the trees, Merlin casting a quick enchantment to shield them from being detected, before looking to Morgana and nodding.

The two of them close their eyes and stretch their arms forward, towards the meadow. A few mutterings and tilted heads later, they open their eyes. Merlin looking grim, but determined, and Morgana looking scared.

Lancelot is the first to speak:

“What is it, what’ve they go out there?”

Merlin looks at him briefly, before darkly saying:

“Why don’t I show you?”

With that, he once more raises his arm towards the meadow. His eyes glow brightly and he speaks quietly, other hand clenched at his side.

After a few moments, tendrils of light extend from his fingertips, and snake out around the perimeter of the meadow. Once the meadow is surrounded, Merlin twists his wrist sharply, and the tendrils turn inwards, shooting towards the centre point. After only a few metres they seem to meet an invisible barrier, and explode upwards towards the sky.

The light is blinding enough to force the gang to all shield their eyes, but they quickly open again when they hear an uproarious cacophony of noise.

What they see, is a huge army gathered at the far end of the field, packing up camp and preparing to move off, in the direction of Camelot.

It takes only a moment before a voice rings out above the noise, coming from somewhere around the edges:

“THE BARRIER IS DOWN!! WE CAN BE SEEN!”

A voice answers back, shouting for everyone to be prepared, that they would be noticed soon, and that the fight was coming to them.

Arthur furrowed his brow before quietly:

“That was their King, I recognise his voice. He must have sorcerers with him to keep the barrier going.”

Leon answers first:

“This is why our scouts haven’t seen anything, there’s been nothing to see.”

Merlin once again begins muttering to himself, drawing everyone’s attention to him (and also reminding them that apparently, Merlin had the power to take out the whole army) :

“Well, at least it’s smaller than I was expecting, underestimating us apparently. Sorcerers could be a problem though. Hmm.”

Morgana speaks up:

“I feel three. powerful, but not really fighters. They’re here for the barrier, and they don’t seem particularly happy about it either-”

She looks towards Merlin, face serious:

“-If you make it clear who you are... they might join us.”

Merlin hums thoughtfully, before replying:

“Depends entirely on if their fear of me outweighs their fear of him.”

The Gang looks taken aback at the mention of fearing Merlin. Elyan quietly saying:

“Why would they fear you? I know that you’re Emrys and everything, but I thought it was a Druid peace-keeping sort of thing you had going?”

Merlin looks back at the group, anger on his face, as he responds darkly:

“They’re threatening Camelot, her people, her King. I’m very much pissed off right now, of course they should be scared of me.”

Before he has time to say anything else, they notice that the army is about ready to move out, and Arthur gestures everyone to quickly get back and hide as he rushes towards Merlin:

“Merls! Ok... so, in the vision, the field was already empty when it started raining, and we have maybe 15 minutes at most before then, so what happens? Whatever we do, we need to do it now, they’re about to leave. Or maybe the field was empty because we let them go?”

Merlin responds quickly:

“No, we didn’t see the whole field in the vision remember, and this half is empty-”

He thinks for a moment, and Arthur looks towards the army, before looking back at the others, and then finally settling his eyes on Merlin once more:

“-Put your crown on, you and me are going to march across there, and they need to know who we are. The others will stay here, out of sight.”

Arthur looks worried, and put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder:

“You do know what you’re doing, don’t you?”

Merlin smiles back at him:

“Nah, figured I’d just wing in. Come on, I’m Emrys. I got this in the bag.”

Arthur frowns as Merlin chuckles, before grabbing his crown from his saddlebag. The others looks to him questioningly, but he just shakes his head, and gestures for them to stay hidden. They don’t look too pleased at that, but they follow his orders, and hide themselves and the horses among the bushes.

The King and the Sorcerer take a deep breath, before looking at each other and nodding firmly. They march out from their hiding spot amongst the trees, and make a beeline for the army, walking confidently.

Merlin made sure to walk just a step behind Arthur, and it takes only a few seconds for a lookout to spot them and yell.

The two of them stop in the middle of the empty space as the whole army looks towards them, their King stepping forward:

“Ah! King Arthur-”

The way he says King, like it disgusts him, like Arthur doesn’t deserve the title, has Merlin fuming, but he doesn’t step forward just yet.

“-It would seem that you have bought your druid pet, to beat my army. I WILL SEE YOUR HEADS ON SPIKES!”

Spittle flies from his red face as he screams the last part, and Merlin sees the way Arthur clenches his hand. Before his... friend? (can he say that after last night?) can reply in anger:

“Introduce me, and then go back to the others. I’ll be fine, he’s clearly underestimated me.”

Arthur’s back straightens, and he leaves his face blank as he shouts his reply to the angered King:

“You clearly underestimate us. This-”

(he gestures absentmindedly to Merlin, who steps forward and allows his eyes to begin glowing.)

“-is Emrys. He will make quick work of your... army.” 

Neither of them pay attention to his reply as they look at each other. The glow fades from Merlin’s eyes as he puts a hand on Arthur’s shoulder:

“Trust me, go back to the others and I’ll take care of it. All of nature is at my fingertips, apparently. Go, I love you.”

Arthur clenches his jaw and nods, before turning and walking back to the others, smiling to himself as he notices the almost transparent shield that had formed around him as he walked.

Merlin takes a few steps towards the army (which is getting louder and louder as the King makes his way through the ranks, shouting encouragement and rallying them) before stopping in place and frowning.

Unless he wants to cause issues with time, he should probably keep it as similar to the vision as he can. He looks to the side, the same place he had seen himself look four days ago, and speaks:

“ I’m sorry. But it’s coming. I can’t stop it, I tried. This is the only way. Just... relax... it’ll hurt less. Four days.”

He narrows his eyes and focuses, and he can just about make out a hazy mirror image of himself stood a few feet away:

“Arthur loves you... me..... us. Don’t let him down.”

The image fades as he takes a deep breath, and continues his march towards the army.

There’s a clap of thunder, and suddenly the skies open, Merlin frowns to himself as he mutters:

“Oh for fucks sake, why am I always right?”

The army begins their sprint towards him, and Merlin stops his quick pace, planting his feet, and raising his hands to the sky. The Sorcerer figures that there’s already a storm, and a storm is part of nature, right? He might as well take advantage.

The golden glow from his eyes is almost blinding as his brings his hands down quickly, palms facing the floor. Lightening strikes the ground with a flash and a few hundred of the men at the forefront of the army fall to not rise again.

Merlin grunts as he realises he’s going to have to try a lot harder if he’s to succeed in taking out the 12,000 angry arseholes running at him.

He continues aiming lightening at the fastest knights, nearest the front, taking out groups of them at a time.

He feels another magical presence, and he glances to the side to see a young woman at the edge of the meadow, clothes in tatters and feet bare. She meets his gaze and nods, before looking to the army and shouting a spell. The ground shakes slightly and a large chunk of the army falls into cracks into the ground.

Those his lightening had not touched finally come within reach of Merlin, and he has to jump back as swords reach for his neck. He swings one of his arms in a wide arc, and a burst of blue fire elevates the war cries around him, into screeches of agony.

He has to banish dark thoughts as the stench of burnt flesh reaches his nose, and he swings his arm wide once more, the same again.

Now with a little more space to move, though with little time before he’s crowded again, he kneels, and slams closed fists down into the mud.

The moment his skin touches the ground, the whole meadow shakes, much more than it had previously, and the whole army stumbles and falls.

There is a moment of silence and calm once the shaking stops, everyone trying to regain their bearings, but it doesn’t last long, as the ground opens. Sinkholes and cracks expand all across the meadow, thousands of men screaming as they fall into unknown depths, or drown in mud.

Merlin stares out in wonder as he realises he hasn’t said a word since the battle began. He had used no spells, the world around him simply understood what he wanted, and obeyed his orders. Nature bending to his whim indeed.

His thoughts last only a minute before he forces himself to concentrate once more. He can feel the three other sorcerers trying to protect themselves, and prevent anyone from escaping. Looks like Morgana was right. Though they were exhausted from holding the barrier in place, and even if they hadn’t been, even combined, their power was nothing compared to Merlin’s.

He pulls his arms from the ground, palms facing towards the sky (which is still pouring). As he does, every crater, every pit, closes with a snap, the field seeming suddenly much emptier as half the army, and all the previous bodies, disappear into the mud.

Only a thousand or so men remain, and, ignoring their cowardly King’s shouts (he was hidden somewhere to the right of Merlin, out of his sight. Hmmm. He would have to take care of that later.) they try to scatter into the woods surrounding the meadow.

Merlin closes his hands to fists. Vines and roots burst from the ground, all sharp thorns and gnarled wood as they speed towards the fleeing soldiers.

The screams grow louder once more as all but a few of the knights are pierced, and wrapped, and dragged towards their muddy places of burial.

Merlin stands once more, and tilts his head towards the trees with a silent request.

He smirks as the sounds of wolves reach his ears, howling and growling and rabid through the trees. That’ll do it. No one would be able to outrun them.

The battlefield lay empty. The bodies having been swallowed by the earth, or still running around piss scared in the woods.

Merlin turns towards the sorcerers standing twenty metres away, meaning to promise them safety and amnesty in Camelot, because of their immediate willingness to help, but before he can say anything, he sees their eyes widen as they look behind him in horror.

He gasps in realisation, and goes to turn and defend himself, but before he can, he staggers suddenly forward as he feels a bursting pain in his spine and spread through his chest. He looks down to see the front of a sword poking out from where his heart should be.

With his last few seconds of lucidity he jerkily waves his hand behind him and feels the King (”How could I have fucking forgotten about him? I was thinking about him literally 3 minutes ago??”) stumble back a few steps, leaving the sword behind.

Merlin falls to his knees, still staring at the end of the blade, blood dripping from his mouth as he hears an agonised yell from across the meadow.

He finally falls completely, his face angled towards the floor and his eyes fluttering as he hears a metallic *swoosh* and a *gargle* and a *thump* behind him, before Arthur falls to his knees at his back.

The last thing Merlin remembers, is hearing Arthur muttering something or other as he gets pulled towards him, but by the time his eyes look to the sky, his mind, and face, are blank.

~

THIS IS COMPLETED, PART 5 (link at the top, and in the masterlist) IS THE FINAL PART!

Let me know if y’all want my thoughts on anything in particular :)

#bbc merlin #merlin #merthur #merlin/arthur #sir leon #leon #sir gwaine #gwaine #sir elyan #elyan #sir percival #percival #sir lancelot #lancelot #arthur #king arthur #court sorcerer merlin #everyone knows about merlins magic #gaius #morgana #gwen #guinevere #good morgana #court seer morgana #kilgharrah #aithusa #dragons #dragon #arthur pendragon #magic is legalised

[theonceandfutureking6481]

BBC's Merlin Season 1 Episode 6: A Remedy to Cure All Ills Analysis

Spoilers for the show

This episode is interestingly about Gaius, it is his arc we see here, not Merlin's or Arthur's and so this is a very interesting episode to watch because it is a vision of the world of Uther, and a vision of Gaius' own flaws. It is a world Merlin and Arthur will one day change and redeem, but as of yet this is a story more about the past then the present.

Gaius

This is something I believe I will come back to later, I'm pretty sure there's another episode later on that also addresses this idea and that is Gaius' deeply flawed nature. We as an audience love Gaius, he's a good character and Merlin loves him like a father, so we can't really help but love him too. But Gaius is flawed in perhaps one of the most dangerous ways, he is not cruel or even a bad person in any real way, but he is a coward. He is the person who in the face of injustice stands by and does nothing. His flaw is in some ways the most understandable, at least for me, its hard to be brave and to oppose power is not easy. Gaius has been a coward and has been complicit in the pain and deaths of so many in his silence, although arguably there wasn't really anything he could of done to stop it. This is revealed most of all in an exchange he has with Kilgharrah (though the 'blind eye' is also mentioned with Edwin).

Gaius: I will not choose between them (Uther and Merlin)

Kilgharrah: Then turn a blind eye. That is, after all, your talent

This is one of the first times we've seen Kilgharrah openly express emotion aside from telling Merlin about his destiny, its perhaps the first hint that he is more personally invested than he lets on. And its in an interactions with Gaius, and you can hear the disdain in his voice. This dragon has been a mouthpiece for destiny, for everything that's going to happen, he's a mouthpiece for the future and in this you realise that he and Gaius have a past, that there is more darkness in the past then we've previously understood. In this you realise that Gaius has failed to be the person he should've been, he's been a coward, and he has betrayed an entire people in his silence.

Gaius elects to turn a blind eye again by leaving, in some ways he's choosing Merlin but in leaving he's making it so he's not really making that choice, he's leaving whatever will happen in other hands. And Gwen says one of the most powerful lines in the show when he tells her that he has no choice.

"In life we always have a choice sometimes its easier to think that you don't."

Cause we do, Gwen's right. It's dangerous and easy to think that you don't have any choice but one, and everyone in this show makes that mistake at some point. Uther probably thinks that he has no choice but to persecute magic users because they're are evil. Everyone seeking revenge on Uther thinks they have no choice but to do so, and in doing no choice but to let collateral damage happen. Because if you accept that there is a choice then you accept responsibility for your actions, you accept that you are responsible for any damage you cause. You may still make the choice, but you are accepting that it is a choice you choose and the results are one's you have chosen to be acceptable. But I also love Gwen's response when Gaius tells her that he is choosing to leave, its a non-choice and also in Gwen's view its the wrong choice, but she doesn't judge him at all for it. She just says "then I'll miss you." She doesn't expect him to be brave, and she continues to care about him even as he doesn't do the right thing.

There is another note here that will be of more relevance later on. Gaius is and has been a coward, but Merlin is his redemption. Merlin is the redemption for everything Gaius has done (or hasn't done) that has helped facilitate Uther's regime. Obviously in sheltering Merlin, Gaius is already rebelling in a more meaningful way then he has in years but later in the show he will make choices to support Merlin and his destiny that will redeem him, and like so much of the show it is for the love of Merlin that he makes them, emphasising the importance of love once again.

Edwin

In many ways this is an uncomfortable episode for someone who is both not a kid and has already watched the whole show. Out of every villain in the show, Edwin is in some ways set up as the least villainous. He takes no collateral damage, he risks Morgana's life yes but ultimately he gets Gaius fired and tries to kill Uther. He doesn't even try to kill Gaius until the end, his revenge is so proportional, so seemingly justified, he hates Gaius but he doesn't try to kill him. Ultimately the show (in this episode at least) doesn't really address that complexity, they have some last minute making Edwin more evil ( he tells Merlin that they could be all-powerful together, the trying to kill Gaius and Merlin (though that was an under danger from them situation), and his parents having practiced dark magic). This ultimately succeeds, and we can go away happy in the knowledge that good triumphed over evil. This works this early in the show, this early on and we are not really sure how to feel about magic, how to feel about the great purge, how to feel about Uther, so we can accept the shows presentations of Merlin protecting Uther with little questions.

Ultimately I'm not opposed to Merlin protecting Uther, but that's largely due to how the show questions it later, because the show does address it. It does address whether or not Uther should be protected when honestly most of those seeking revenge are at least justified in the killing Uther part of their revenge.

But this has not been addressed yet, so we're left with a villain who ultimately did not seem that evil being killed and then Uther being saved.

This is also paired with this episode being perhaps the first one to truly address the horror of the great purge. Edwin's backstory is chilling, the scars on his face are there because he tried to run into the fire to save his parents when they were being burnt at the stake by Uther. There's also this sense of a barely spoken history between all the older characters, Geoffrey and Gaius don't want to remember that time, Kilgharrah reminds Gaius of how he turns a blind eye, and even in Uther and Gaius right at the end.

Uther: Do you remember them, his parents?

Gaius: I remember them all, sire

This happens, even after everything that has happened in the episode, so the episode itself doesn't even entirely erase the confusion regarding Edwin, and we don't really know who was really right. It's also an interesting moment for Uther, a moment where we see his resolve about magic slightly shift, and there is a hint of unacknowledged guilt there.

The fact that immediately after this Uther apologises to Gaius really cements this, Uther rarely admits he's wrong and he only does so when his own sense of his rightness has been questioned. He doesn't admit he was wrong with magic (and he never will), but that feeling perhaps prompts him to be able to admit he was wrong to Gaius.

Why Gaius serves Uther

Now this is a question that's hard to answer, because ultimately Gaius does serve Uther loyally for much of the show, rarely opposing him and it goes somewhat beyond just not being able to do anything else because Uther's the king, and Gaius both can't do anything but also just isn't a very brave person (though that is certainly part of it). We do find out later that Gaius ultimately doesn't think Uther's a bad king, he believes that Uther on the whole is fair to most of his people (except magic users), he's not great but he's better than a lot would be. And you see the hint of that in:

Gaius: You have always done what you believed to be right

Gaius perhaps sees in Uther a king who isn't purely driven by selfishness, a king who does genuinely seek to act in the interests of the people, and I guess that's probably better than most kings.

I also think there's a warning in that, a warning about doing purely what you believe to be right. And by that I mean acting purely in accordance with your own feelings without reference to the possibility of being wrong. Doing what you feel to be right is not always the right choice, and its something Merlin does often consider, not only because consequences are often far beyond what one person can consider, but because you may be wrong. Every person is blinded by their own experiences, Uther's blinded by his anger and hate and he mistakes that for righteousness.

Also, ultimately I might note, Gaius is physician. Most of the time serving Uther does not ask too much of him, he saves lives, he helps people, he doesn't usually have to participate in the bad. However, that doesn't take away from the fact that he still does occasionally, and he is reasonably loyal.

I enjoyed this episode, but its never been one of my favourites and it's hard to go away from this one entirely satisfied that all right ends have been achieved. The show chooses not to fully address the moral complexity at the heart of it yet, and that's fine this is after all a children's show and we are still so early in it but that does mean that in setting up complexity and not going through with it there is a level of dissatisfaction, as we struggle really to know if right really won here.

#gaius the court physician #bbc merlin #merlin analysis #the adventures of merlin #uther pendragon #kilgharrah #merlin bbc #merlin #merlin emrys #analysis #a remedy to cure all ills #edwin Muirden #Basically I'm confused #Gaius #Arthur pendragon

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Poisoned Veins

Prompts: Hi! Feel free to ignore this, but I'd love it if you could write some sort of Merlin (preferably Merthur) fanfic involving the serket sting and S3 E1/2? Maybe just after Merlin gets back, or after the battle, or something (not too long after the sting, is what I'm saying). Either good or bad Morgana, I don't mind. But lots of nice hurt/comfort with Merlin and Arthur, emphasis on the comfort (I love your fics, especially the relationship between Merlin and Arthur, so...) - anon

May I ask for a Merlin&Arthur fic? I love how you write them together! - anon

Thanks for the prompts babes!

Read on Ao3

Warnings: implied/referenced mind control

Pairings: merthur and mergana, but they can be platonic or romantic you decide

Word Count: 4108

Was it the stupidest thing he’s done all day? Probably not. The stupidest thing he’s done in the last hour?

Most definitely.

But as he stands here, in the vault, deep under stone and soldiers, he faces Morgana and closes his eyes.

Golden light. Then silence.

The pit of his stomach opens up, his power spilling and spilling into the air between them. It burns his eyes, even through his lids, the tips of his fingers tingling with the excess magic. It hurts. It’s the best he’s felt in ages.

He hears Morgana gasp in front of him.

He opens his eyes to see her, powerful in her armor, the staff in one hand, the sword in the other, tears like chainmail glittering on her face. Her mouth is open, torn between what must be fury and shock, as he holds the glow spinning in his hands.

“I understand,” he hears himself say from miles away, “and I’m sorry.”

Is it partly out of spite? To prove her wrong? Maybe. Is it partly because he desperately wants Kilgharrah to be wrong, that they’re not the same, but yes, yes they are? Maybe.

Is it mostly because he helped turn Morgana into this, helped forge the sword the Morgana has become in Morgause’s hand?

Merlin holds his magic there, bared for her to see, as her mouth snarls and spits at him.

The words flash across his vision even as she doesn’t speak them. How could he, he betrayed her, how dare he side with them, what kind of a monster must he be?

They emerge in a wordless yell as she lunges forward, intent on burying her sword into his chest until—

The force of the blast knocks them back, throwing them like rag dolls against unyielding stone. Merlin winces, his body protesting first from the force of the expended magic and then the sharp crack from the wall. He manages to wedge himself upright with his elbow, scanning furiously for the damage done to the rest of the vault.

Fissures run along the length of the ceiling, dust showering as the soldiers upstairs rush back and forth. Somewhere up there are the knights, Leon, Arthur, the others—he should get up, he should see what else he has to do, but—

He looks down, searching for Morgana.

He finds a limp body, a sword flung out of a hand, and a staff that hums with enough dark power to make his stomach churn.

Panic courses through his veins as he scrambles across the floor, palms digging roughly into jagged stone, knees and elbows catching on loose rock. He winces, stumbles, flails, keeps going. He’s already hurt Morgana once, he won’t dare leave her again.

“Morgana,” he mumbles, straining through the clouds of dust, “Morgana—can—can you hear me?”

She’s out cold, lying limply on the floor. He reaches out, grabbing at her chainmail, trying to roll her onto her back, see what the damage is, did she hit something and get knocked unconscious? No blood greets him as her head turns, he can’t feel anything broken, so then what—why—

Something under his hand burns.

He yanks his hand away to see a bracelet, the bracelet Morgause gave her, the bracelet that stayed on as the dead rose around them, flare, splutter, and die.

Morgause…

Morgana gasps awake.

“Easy,” Merlin says before she can sit up too quickly and hurt herself, “easy, easy, Morgana, please, it’s—it’s alright, I’m not going to hurt you—“

“Merlin—Merlin—“ her voice grows shriller in a panic— “Merlin, please you have to listen to me—“

“I’m not going to hurt you, you have to believe me—“

“Merlin, please—“

“It’s alright, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I wanted to, just please listen to me, we have to stop this—“

“Merlin!”

The note of genuine hysteria gives him pause before he looks up and sees her face. Her face, not that horrible mask that’s been plastered to her since she returned, no, this is Morgana, shining back at him, tears still armor, as real as the hand fisted in his tunic to pull him closer, not push him away.

“…Morgana?”

“Merlin,” she says in a rush, “Merlin, we have to destroy the staff, Morgause is using it to channel my powers, she’s attacking the city, we need to—if we destroy the staff we may still win—“

“Morgana?” Merlin blinks, not wanting to believe it.

“Please, Merlin,” Morgana says, sitting up and taking his tunic in both hands now, “please, I know—I know I’ve been awful to you, I know this is my fault too, but you have to believe me, she’s more powerful than you know, we have to—“

“Are you hurt?” He looks her over, sees the bracelet still on her wrist. He reaches for it.

“What are you doing? We have to stop her!”

“The bracelet,” he says, “take your bracelet off.”

Morgana looks down. Her eyes widen when she sees the jewel in the middle burst open. “It’s—it’s broken…it’s broken…”

And the heart-wrenching look on her face as her mouth twists and she yanks it off is enough to convince Merlin.

“How do we destroy it?”

“I don’t know!” Morgana yanks him to his feet. ‘She said only the High Priestesses and their blood god had ever seen it.”

Merlin winces as the clattering above gets louder. He looks around to see more and more of the dead rising. “Well, we’ve got to try something!”

Morgana’s face twists further as she grips the staff. Her eyes begin to glow.

“Morgause is a High Priestess,” she growls, as the glow intensifies, “and I am her sister.”

She looks to Merlin.

“Help me.”

Merlin’s own magic starts to respond as the staff glows brighter, its own dark magic threatening to swallow the kingdom whole. Morgana’s magic reaches for him as they hold the staff together.

“On three,” she grits through a clenched jaw, “ready?”

Merlin nods, starting to pant with the effort of holding onto the staff. “One…”

“Two…”

“Three!”

The staff shatters.

They stand, frozen, made immobile by the magic surrounding them, as the dead start to fall back to the earth. Merlin’s eyes are fixed open, gazing at the remnants of the ancient tree, bound only by magic now dissipated. Across from him, Morgana’s gaze locks on his and they breathe.

“You have magic,” she whispers after an eternity of silence, “you…you’re like me.”

“I’m sorry,” Merlin says, his hands still outstretched, “I’m sorry.”

A wounded noise escapes them both as they slump to the ground, exhausted by the weight of the magic in the room. All around them, skeletons fall, the castle settles, and the battle rages on. The faintest sound of swords manages to reach them, down here, buried under stone, but for now, they are alone.

Alone in a swirl of magic and the broken promises of destiny.

Merlin drags himself across the floor to curl protectively around Morgana’s shaking form. He can’t let her get hurt now. She’s just broken one of the most powerful enchantments he’s ever seen, let alone felt, there’s no way he’s letting anyone near her. Morgana stirs as he sets himself over her, reaching upwards to grab a fist of his tunic. She tugs him down into a hug, her arms going around him so tightly he winces, before wrapping his own around her.

They’re sorry. They’re so, so sorry.

“I haven’t felt anything in ages,” comes the hoarse whisper, “it felt—It felt as though she banished me behind a sheet of glass, even in my own body.”

“You did it,” he mumbles back, squeezing her tighter, “you broke the enchantment. You did it. She can’t control you anymore.”

“I’m still so angry.” Her chest hitches as she gasps. “I’m so—I’m so angry and I can’t—I can’t tell which anger is mine and which anger is hers.”

The stone echoes in silent judgment as her confession rings in the air around them.

“You don’t have to figure it out right now.” He tightens his grip. “We can just—rest. For a moment.”

“Yes, that sounds nice.” Her voice starts to lilt. “Just…a little…rest…right here.”

“The others can—they’ll be fine.”

“Yes, yes, quite.”

Merlin’s eyes start to droop as his body finally gets to sag in relief. He winces.

“Merlin?” Morgana stirs under him. “Are you—did I hurt you?”

He shakes his head. “No, no, I just…I think I need to sleep, now…”

Kilgharrah’s warning about the cure returns. It will work, but not quickly.

And he just burnt up a lot of his energy.

He curses softly under his breath and Morgana sits up quickly, pulling him against the wall as they lean together.

“Merlin, Merlin? Merlin, talk to me,” she says as she scrambles to make sure his tunic and neck kerchief aren’t making it hard for him to breathe, “stay—stay with me.”

“I’m—I’m sorry…”

“It’s alright, Merlin, I hurt you too, I’m not angry at you, just—well, alright,” she yields when he manages to give her a look, “maybe a little, but not like that, just—stay awake, what’s wrong?”

He swallows roughly. “The Serket sting,” he manages through a dry throat, “it—I’m still not strong enough to fully…fully heal yet. I think—I think I pushed too hard.”

“Oh, Merlin,” she says, the perfect balance between chiding and fond, “you always push yourself too hard.”

“Easy for you to say,” he mumbles back, “you’re…you’re as close to an overachiever as they come.”

“Am not!”

“Are too.”

Their laughs are too tired to be convincing, cut off by an awful churn in Merlin’s stomach. The familiar pain of the poison swirls at the base of his spine.

“Shh, shh,” Morgana says frantically, pressing a glowing hand to his stomach, “I can—I had Morgause teach me some healing, I can try to hold it at bay while we find Gaius—“

“I’ll be fine,” he says, feeling the familiar wash of magic through his veins, “I’ll be fine, you…you save your strength. We’ve got some explaining to do when this is all over.”

Indeed, above them, the sounds of battle are slowly quieting.

Morgana laughs shakily. “And you best believe you’re going to be right there with me,” she warns, “you’re not getting out of it.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” he says as his eyes start to drift closed, “but you…you can’t burn yourself out either.”

“So let’s both stay awake,” she says firmly, her arms still wrapped around him, “we’ll…we can just rest, right here, and then…then we’ll tell them.”

“Stay with me, then,” Merlin mumbles, reaching to wrap his arms more tightly around her, “don’t try and run off as soon as I pass out.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

There they stay, Morgana’s nose pressed into the crook of Merlin’s neck, Merlin’s hand buried at the base of Morgana’s braid, curled up, safe and exhausted next to the shattered staff.

There Arthur finds them, tearing frantically through the citadel, shouting for Merlin, for Morgana, for anyone who’s seen them.

They look up when he comes in, fear giving way to relief as a jibe rises to the tip of his tongue. Something cheap about the two of them sneaking off, or feigned disgust or outrage at finding them in such a compromising position. But then he catches sight of their tear-stained faces and the carnage around them and they can see him putting the pieces together.

“Merlin,” he finally says after a long moment, “Morgana, you’re both—you’re both safe.”

“Arthur?” Morgana props herself up a little. “Arthur, are you—“

“I’m alright,” he says, “the battle’s over.”

“Arthur.” Merlin tries to sit up too but neither he nor Morgana can make it. “Arthur—“

“Oh, alright,” Arthur sighs like he’s also not desperate to pick his way through the rubble toward them, “I’m coming.”

Still, he can’t disguise the look of relief on his face as he sits next to them, Morgana immediately pulling herself up to throw an arm around his neck.

“Alright, alright,” he mumbles like he’s not the most relieved prince in the world, “I’m here, I’m alright. Are you safe?”

“I’m safe now,” she says, “we destroyed the staff, we stopped the magic.”

Arthur looks around. “So you did. Well done.”

One of Morgana’s hands is still clutching Merlin’s tunic, dragging him closer to Arthur as she hugs him. Arthur raises an eyebrow as he notes this, looking to Merlin to make a joke only for it to die as he takes in what Merlin can only assume is his pale, sweaty, exhausted face.

“Are you alright?” He reaches for Merlin’s arm. “Are you hurt?”

Merlin thinks about shaking his head.

“Destroying the staff wasn’t easy,” he decides after a moment, which is true, “the magic…took a lot out of us. Both of us.” Which is also true.

“Merlin got hurt with a poison,” Morgana adds, shooting him a look that only he can tell is guilty, “he’s fighting it off still.”

“I’ve gotten the cure,” Merlin says before Arthur can indignantly rush them both upstairs, “it’s just…taking a while.”

Arthur’s gaze softens and he tugs Merlin a little closer.

“Is that why you’re still here,” he asks the both of them, “is it just…taking a while?”

They nod.

“Then let’s get you somewhere safe,” he says, starting to stand, “the battle is over. The citadel is safe.”

Morgana’s eyes flick to Merlin’s.

“Cenred and Morgause,” Merlin says, “are they gone?”

“Fled, it looks like,” Arthur says as they stand, “probably back to their own kingdoms.”

Morgana’s shoulders slump. “Thank goodness.”

“I’ll check to see what the easiest way back is.” Arthur walks toward the door. “Just wait here a moment.”

As soon as he disappears, Morgana looks down. Merlin follows her gaze to see the bracelet there, at their feet. He squeezes Morgana’s hand.

“Áce wele!”

The bracelet explodes into shards of metal as Morgana spits the spell. Arthur returns to see them still standing there, clutching each other.

“Is a side effect of the spell that you can’t let go,” he jokes, coming back to lead them out of the vault, “or is it just you two?”

When neither of them responds, he ushers them to Gaius without further comment.

Merlin nods when Gaius gives him a strange look, motioning to wait until Arthur is outside, standing guard.

“I’m sorry,” both Morgana and Merlin say at the same time, before Morgana clears her throat, “I’m sorry, Gaius, for everything. I didn’t know—Morgause—the bracelet—I know that doesn’t make up for everything but—“

“It’s quite alright, Morgana,” Gaius says, “I am not blameless either. And I am sorry.”

She accepts it with a quick jerk of her head. “I’m still angry. But until I know which of the anger is mine and which is hers, I’m…I can’t…”

She rolls her shoulders back.

“You have nothing to fear from me.”

Gaius bows his head humbly. “And you shall find no more loyal a servant.”

Morgana glances to Merlin and mouths except for you.

Merlin blushes.

Gaius shoos him out to tend to the last of Morgana’s wounds and to make a potion to clear the last of the magic from her, leaving Merlin stumbling into the corridor and running straight into Arthur’s arms.

“There you are,” he says softly, helping Merlin stand, “has Gaius told you you’re alright?”

“He said there’s nothing else for me to do but rest,” Merlin manages, before remembering that he needs to tend to Arthur, “but I can—I’ll help you first.”

Arthur just hums and starts walking them back to his chambers. They pass others, tending to wounds, hugging their loved ones, until they push open the doors to Arthur’s rooms and Merlin’s shoulders slump. His fingers fumble a few too many times for it to be considered efficient, but before long Arthur is free of his armor and Merlin all but collapses onto the table, having struggled to hang the last of it up.

“Will there be anything else, sire?”

Please, no. Let me rest.

“Yes, actually, Merlin, come here.”

He winces, pulls himself together and turns, ready to answer whatever Arthur’s going to have him do next, only to frown. In the time it took him to get Arthur’s armor cleared away, Arthur’s filled a small basin with water and set it on a table next to the bed. He opens his mouth to ask what Arthur wants when Arthur beckons him closer.

“Arthur, what—“

“Sit, Merlin,” Arthur says in the soft voice from the vault, taking him gently by the arm and guiding him to the bed, “there. I’m going to clean you off.”

“What? I’m fine!”

“You’re not,” Arthur corrects, still speaking in the voice that is making it very hard for Merlin to stay awake, “now hush and raise your arms.”

“Why?”

“Your tunic is filthy.” Arthur gives the material a tug. “And I need to see where you’re hurt.”

“‘M not hurt.”

“Morgana said you were poisoned. That means you’re hurt. Where did they get you?”

“…back.”

“On your back? Alright. Let’s go ahead and get this off you…”

Arthur’s hands are steady as he guides the tunic up and over Merlin’s head, followed by a sharp inhale as he sees the bruises from the chains.

“…Merlin, this looks like you were tortured.” Merlin can’t do anything but blink up at him. “You said the poison was on your back?”

Merlin nods.

“Here, I’m going to lean you forward, you just lean against me, alright?”

Arthur’s hand cups Merlin’s head, pulling him forward until he rests against Arthur’s chest. He loses himself in the slow card of fingers through his hair as Arthur leans over him to check where the poison must’ve been. When he feels a warm hand run over the still-tender wound, he winces.

Arthur stills. “Here?”

Merlin nods. “Two—two—wait, how long has it been since I got back?”

Arthur is quiet for a moment. Then he pulls away, hushing the embarrassing noise of protest that comes from Merlin’s throat.

“I’m not going far, just right here.” He takes a cloth and dips it in the water. “Let me clean your face.”

A warm hand slots itself under Merlin’s chin and lifts. A moment later, there’s a cool cloth on his face, stroking along his cheeks, over his forehead. Arthur asks him to close his eyes and the cloth sweeps gently, so gently over his closed eyes, getting away the salt and the dirt and the last of the tears.

“Shh,” Arthur soothes when Merlin lets out a pained noise, “it’s alright. I’m not hurt, you’ll be alright, I’m right here.”

“‘Rthur—“

The cloth leaves, dropped back onto the table as Arthur cradles his head in his hands. “You’re exhausted, Merlin, but I need you to open your eyes for me.”

For Arthur. He can do it for Arthur.

Arthur smiles encouragingly as he meets his gaze, kneeling by the bed so Merlin won’t strain his neck. He ruffles Merlin’s hair.

“There you are,” he murmurs, “now show me where it hurts.”

“Hurts?”

“You don’t have a fever, I checked, but you’re still in pain. I need you to show me.”

“I, um…”

“Hey,” Arthur calls, standing again to tuck Merlin into his arms, “you don’t have to be embarrassed, not with me, I’m here to look after you, it’s alright.”

“It—the magic—it—from the—“ Merlin swallows— “the magic from the staff and the poison, it—it hurt.”

Arthur makes a sympathetic noise, reaching for the cloth again. “Took a lot out of you, hmm?”

Merlin nods miserably, only to yelp in surprise when Arthur tilts him back, held with one arm around his back and the other pressing the cool cloth just below his chest.

“I’ve got you,” he says quietly when Merlin lets out another confused noise, pressing the cloth into the hollow of his ribcage, “just lay back and trust me, alright?”

Arthur props himself up on the bed, Merlin almost dipped in his arms as he holds the cloth still. The cool water almost feels like it’s drawing some of the pain out of him, making him sag into Arthur’s arms.

“Shh, that’s it, just a little longer.” Arthur turns the cloth so the cool side stays against Merlin. “Does that feel good?”

Merlin nods. His head lolls against Arthur’s shoulder, his eyes threatening to close. They blink open once Arthur starts talking again.

“You were dying,” he says quietly, looking at Merlin, “when you were gone those two days, weren’t you?”

Merlin nods.

“Oh, Merlin, I’m sorry.” His thumb rubs a soothing circle into his side. “No one will touch you again, I won’t let them.”

Something in Arthur’s voice makes him want to melt, stay here, safe in the crook of Arthur’s arms, but he can’t. If Arthur notices the way he rouses himself again, he doesn’t comment. Instead, he just turns the cloth over again.

“Something happened down there,” he says softly, “between you and Morgana, didn’t it?”

Merlin tenses.

“Not like that, Merlin,” Arthur chuckles, “but something happened when you broke the staff, didn’t it?”

He nods hesitantly. Arthur rolls his eyes.

“I do pay attention. I know what Morgana’s like. You two were practically inseparable when I first arrived.” The arm holding Merlin gives him a little squeeze. “You don’t have to tell me what it is, just…tell me, will you two be alright?”

He nods again. He’s sure of that.

“Good,” Arthur murmurs, setting the cloth aside. Merlin tries to sit up only for Arthur’s arm to hold him steady. “No, no, you stay. Here…there you go.”

Merlin blinks, a little confused when Arthur lays him tenderly out onto the bed. He props himself up on his elbows as Arthur bustles to the wardrobe, fetching a nightshirt for Merlin and helping him into it.

“What—“

“You’re exhausted, Merlin,” he says like that explains everything, “stay here tonight. Sleep.”

“I can’t do that, you—ah!“

“Shh, shh, hey, easy,” Arthur soothes, wrapping his arms around Merlin as he doubles over, a hand pressed hard to his chest.

Merlin bites back a whimper as another bolt of pain shoots through his chest. Damn Serket poison. Dimly, he realizes Arthur’s right. There’s no way he’s going to be able to make it back to Gaius and explain what’s going on.

Then he realizes as he’s been dealing with this, Arthur’s moved him.

He’s tucked up under the prince’s blankets, a pillow under his head, his boots and rough trousers removed. Next to him, Arthur reaches out to cradle him against his chest, rubbing soothing circles into his back. He lets out another mewl as Arthur gentles away the pain in his shoulders. There’s a warm hand under his chin, guiding it up. Arthur tilts his head and chucks Merlin lightly.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

Oh.

Oh.

Arthur’s worried.

“It hurts,” he manages, “it just—it hurts.”

Arthur makes a sympathetic noise, pulling him closer and tucking his head under his chin. He rolls them, Merlin on top, his knees coming up to bracket Merlin’s body as he strokes a warm hand up and down Merlin’s back.

“I’ve got you, sweetheart,” he murmurs, Merlin’s head safely in the crook of his neck, “it’s over now.”

“It’s over?”

“Yes, sweetheart, you’re safe. I’m right here.” Arthur cuddles him closer. “The battle is over. Camelot is safe. Morgana is safe. I’m safe.”

He cups the back of Merlin’s head and brings his mouth to his ear.

“You can rest now, sweetheart. Just go to sleep,” he whispers, “go on…”

Arthur is here. Arthur is solid and holds him firmly. Arthur is big and warm and soft and Merlin is so, so, tired.

Rest, young warlock, he thinks he hears as he drifts off, and well done.

#merthur #merlin #merlin bbc #bbc merlin #arthur pendragon #morgana pendragon #dragonbabbles #fic

[writings-of-a-daphodil]

Fire Keeper: Chapter 14

Douxie x fem reader

Chapter 1

Masterlist in bio!

Series Summary: You are Jim’s older sister who is taking a break from college and has moved back home to Arcadia. You end up joining Jim and his friends on their adventures.

Chapter 14 summary: You and Douxie go to Bulgaria to try and stop Morgana.

“Ya know, I can’t decide if I’d rather spend fourteen hours on an airplane or fourteen seconds in a gyre,” you mumbled as you walked out of the airport. It was a long and boring flight, but you had gotten to spend a lot of time with Douxie so that had been nice.

“Me neither,” Douxie admitted, stretching. You got into the rental car and Archie settled onto your lap.

It was a silent car ride as you enjoyed the lovely scenery. The day was chilly and you were glad you packed for it.

You arrived at the hotel just as the sun was setting and you checked in. Once you got to your room you went to call your mom to tell her you were safe.

“Hi, mom. We made it safe and sound. How is everything over in Arcadia?”

“Y/n, I’m so glad you called. Jim and I were just talking about you,” your mom said in her ‘you are so busted voice.’ You wondered what you could have possibly done.

“Heeeeyyyyy mom, what’s up?”

“So, when were you gonna tell me about your magic?” She asked and you gasped. However, you weren’t like your brother, so you weren’t going to try and pretend like you didn’t know what she was talking about.

“How’d you know?” You asked.

“I remembered, I remember that night. I remember you showing me your sparks of orange magic. I remember that it was beautiful and I remember being so proud of you.”

You chuckled. “So you aren’t mad?”

“No, well, I was scared and worried at first, but Jim calmed me down. I’m still scared and worried, but I trust you.” She paused. “He also told me about why you’re really going to Bulgaria. Please stay safe, Y/n.”

“I will, Mom.”

“Good, I love you so much.”

“I love you too mom.”

She didn’t say anything for a second and you wondered if she was still there. “Sorry, Jim wants to talk with you. I’ll give you to him,” she eventually said.

“Okay,” you mumbled, not knowing if she could still hear you or not.

You listened to the background noise as the phone was exchanged. You were surprised to hear Claire talking to who you believed were her parents.

“Y/n/n? Hey, how are you?” Jim asked and you smiled.

“I’m good, we got here safe and sound.”

“Good, good. I’m glad you’re safe,” he paused. “Listen, I’m sorry I never listened to you about telling mom. She is actually being really cool about everything.”

“I told you so!”

Jim chuckled. “You did. But that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. It’s a long story, but to get to the point: Claire was temporarily stuck in the shadow realm and she had visions.”

“What kind of visions?” You asked, concern and curiosity consuming your thoughts.

“She’s okay and she said she saw visions of my amulet and that we have to break it to find a map to Merlin’s tomb and in the tomb we will find his staff.”

“Wow, that’s some vision.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m assuming you’re going?”

“Mhmm. We won’t let Gunmar get the staff.”

“That’s my little brother! You go out there and save the world. I believe in you!” You cheered.

“Thanks Y/n, it means a lot having you by my side.”

“Of course, Jim.” You were about to hang up, but Jim interrupted you.

“There’s something else you should know. Gunmar has Aaarrrgghh.”

You froze. “What?” You whispered. You were not prepared to lose Aaarrrgghh.

“It’s okay. We are going to save him,” Jim promised and you nodded even though he couldn’t see you. You noticed your phone was about to die.

“I know you will and I want you to call me or text me if you need anything. I’ve got to go soon.”

“Okay, I will. Be safe.”

“You too,” you said, then you hung up. You were incredibly worried about your friends, no, your family, but you also knew you could trust them to take care of themselves.

You heard the door to your room open and you turned to see Douxie. “Hey Y/n, I got us some food.”

“Thanks, I could really eat.”

“What’s wrong?” Douxie asked as he took a seat on his bed.

“Jim called,” you explained and then you began to tell Douxie everything you knew. By the time you were finished voicing everything and all your thoughts dinner was over.

“Wow, I guess it’s finally time.” Douxie chuckled. “Merlin had said Jim would be older.”

“What do you mean?” You asked, but a yawn took over the last half of your question. Jetlag, so much fun, right?

“Merlin could more or less see the future,” Douxie explained. “To a degree, he knew what would happen.”

“Precognition,” you mumbled. You had read about Merlin having it.

“Yeah, that,” Douxie said, yawning.

“We can talk in the morning, yeah?” You asked.

“Mhmm,” Douxie said, but you could see he was already drifting into sleep.

~~~~

You met up with Douxie in the lobby. He was already there with Archie.

“Hey,” he greeted. “Did you get everything?”

“Food, water, a blanket, money...” you listed all you had packed.

“Good. I guess we’re ready then,” Douxie said, but he didn’t move.

“It’s going to be okay. We’ve got this.”

“You’re right,” Douxie agreed.

You smirked. “I know.”

The three of you left the hotel and you drove to the harbor. This time the drive wasn’t silent, you had questions.

“So, I thought the battle of Killahead happened in England, by Camalot.”

“I had to move her,” Douxie explained. “Everyone knew where Merlin had trapped her so I had to move her to Bulgaria.”

You nodded. “That makes sense.”

“Merlin knew what he was doing,” Douxie said.

“What was-sorry-is Merlin like?”

“Wise, confident, tough, eccentric, stubborn, but overall he’s a great master.”

You smiled at Douxie. “It must have been nice to be trained by the Merlin.”

“I’ve learned a lot from him.”

“Any wisdom you’d like to pass on?”

Douxie smiled. “Wizards don’t make mistakes, we make unexpected possibilities.”

~~~~

Eventually you made it to the boat rental place and you and Douxie went into the shop to get a boat. You let Douxie do all the talking while you read some brochures with Archie.

You weren’t really paying attention to the conversation, but then the manager said something that caught your attention. “You and your girlfriend have fun!” He called much to your embarrassment.

You didn’t exactly mind being called Douxie’s girlfriend, but you didn’t know if Douxie felt the same way. Hence the warm cheeks and avoidance of eye contact.

Douxie didn’t seem to miss a beat though and he put an arm around your shoulder. “We will. Have a great day, sir.”

Douxie led you out of the office and to a boat slip. He had apparently managed to acquire a sailboat and you had to admit you were impressed. It was a nice, yet small, boat. You only had one concern.

“Do you know how to use this?” You asked, doubtful of Douxie’s abilities.

“Nope,” he said in a way that worried you. “However, I do know how to use magic to make it look like I can.”

“If we die I will kill you,” you threatened, embarrassment forgotten. Now, you were much less fond of the idea of sailing out to an island that nobody knew existed.

“Relax, I’ve been using magic to sail for centuries,” he soothed, which calmed you somewhat.

You truly felt much better about getting on the boat when Archie whispered, “He’s taken lessons in the past. He;s actually pretty good.”

You smiled and clutched the framilier close to you as you stepped on. The boat swayed and you gasped. Ariche let out a strained meow, but you managed to steady the both of you.

“Are you alright?” Douxie asked, reaching out for you.

“We’re fine,” you said as you set Archie down.

“Good,” Douxie mumbled as he began to pull some lines and sheets. He raised the main sail and then went to untie the boat.

“I’m gonna need you to put away the fenders,” Douxie called, gesturing to some plastic cylinders that hung over the side of the boat, protecting it from bumping the dock.

He pushed out of the slip and took a seat at the tiller while you took care of the fenders. “Do you need me to do anything else?” You asked.

“Nope, you can just relax. We’re out of the harbor and it should be mostly smooth sailing from here.”

“Mostly?”

“It’s pretty choppy out,” Douxie informed and you felt the wind biting into your skin.

You watched Douxie as you settled in. He seemed to really know what he was doing.

You pulled a blanket out of one of your bags and took a seat next to Douxie and Archie came and curled up on your lap.

“So, why don’t you brief me on what we have to do?” You requested.

Douxie began to explain and you listened intently to his plans. You could tell he was worried by the way his voice shook a little. You knew he just wanted to make Merlin proud and you worried that Douxie was putting too much pressure on himself. Even though you were struggling with magic, you promised to do all you could to help him.

Eventually you could feel your stomach growling so you pulled out some sandwiches that you had packed. You passed one to Douxie and the two of you ate in silence.

As you ate, you admired the water. It was a cloudy day, but that didn’t diminish its beauty. The way the water dipped and swelled made it look like it was in the midst of a dance.

Freezing wind picked up, increasing the speed of the dance and making your boat rock. Some waves crashed against the hull and if you leaned too close to the side you would get some of the mist on you.

“How do you feel about working on your magic? I know a great spell to teach you that would ease you back into magic,” Douxie suggested after you had finished eating.

You reached into your bag to give Archie some smoked salmon. “I’m up for it,” you said as you settled back into your seat.

“Alright let's work on your astral projection then,” Douxie announced.

“Just tell me what to do.”

“Alright, it’ll probably be easier for you to lock onto a person, so focus on Archie. Close your eyes and imagine that you are sitting there in front of him,” Douxie instructed. You did what he said, and as you focused on being with Archie you felt something shift.

“Well done!” Douxie cheered and you opened your eyes to see you standing in front of Archie, but it wasn’t you. It was an orange outline of yourself that mimicked your movements.

“Now what?” You asked and your projection mimicked you.

“Try sending a projection a little further away, at the bow of the boat.” You did as Douxie asked and soon enough you saw another orange outline of yourself appear.

As the trip dragged on, Douxie had you do different exercises and slowly your magic along with your astral projection got stronger. Though it still hurt to think of Vendel, you were proud of your work.

“How far do you think you can project yourself?” Douxie asked.

“Let’s see,” you pictured Jim who you knew was in Ardennes Mountains in Belgium, looking for Merlin’s staff. You focused on his aura and when you felt the shift you opened your eyes to see the Trollhunting gang plus an old man battling a current of water.

Jim was using his sword to divert the path of the water and before you could say anything, you felt yourself flicker. It felt like a rubber band had snapped and suddenly you were back in Bulgaria, in the middle of the Black Sea, with Douxie and Archie.

“Where’d you go?” Douxie asked.

“I went to see Jim,” you said excitedly. “I think they found Merlin. As in the actual sorcerer, and he was standing with them as Jim diverted a bunch of water.”

“Nuclear!” Douxie exclaimed and you smiled at the way Douxie’s eyes lit up. Boy, were you falling fast.

You shook yourself out of those thoughts and yawned. “How much farther?”

“You can rest if you want, we have a ways to go and that was some strong magic you just attempted,” Douxie said and you nodded. The sail boat wasn’t that big and it was cold so you snuggled up next to Archie for warmth who was coincidentally right by Douxie. It was almost no time before you were fast asleep.

~~~~

You woke up to find yourself wrapped in Douxie’s sweater. You slowly sat up, keeping yourself wrapped up in the warmth and you saw Archie curled up at your feet and Douxie sitting right next to you, humming something.

He hadn’t noticed you yet so you spoke up, “Nice tune.” Douxie jumped a little and you smiled at his reaction.

“We’re almost there,” he said, gesturing to a growing speck on the horizon.

You nodded as a large wave hit your boat. You yelped as you slid into Douxie. He caught you and held on as he readjusted the boat. You were determined to hide your face, so you picked up Archie.

As you sat back down you grabbed the bag with the snacks and grabbed some smoked salmon for the framilier and he gobbled it up gratefully. As you focused your attention on Archie, you found you could feel the aura of the Island.

It was a thousand times worse than the darklands was and as you tried to seal it out of your mind, it fought back. It was like cold black daggers were stabbing your mental wall. You cried out, falling backwards into Douxie.

He helped you into a comfortable position as you clutched your head. You tried to fight the darkness, but one of the daggers burst through your mental wall.

You whimpered at the painful sensation and you heard Douxie say something, “Come on, Y/n. Fight it! I know you can.”

Hearing Douxie gave you strength and so you pulled yourself out of your mind and you put up your shields.

You felt so exposed to not be able to sense auras, but you knew you could allow yourself to be attacked by those daggers again.

“What happened?” Douxie asked, concern shining on his face.

You took a deep steadying breath. “The island’s aura attacked me,” you stated simply. Douxie’s hand reached for your face and he wiped away tears that you hadn’t known you’d shed.

“Are you alright?” Archie asked, nuzzling your hand.

“Yeah, it hurt a lot, but I stopped myself from sensing auras,” you explained. “It’s just something I subconsciously do. Sensing auras was the first thing Vendel taught me and it’s become something I always do.”

Douxie nodded sympathetically and went back to his spot next to you while Archie curled up back into your lap. You tried to focus on the water again and it mostly succeeded, but had you been paying attention you would have realized that Douxie was still clutching your hand. Instead you just let the up and down movements of the water calm you.

As you got closer to the island the water got choppier. You had to hold onto one of the lines and Archie as the boat bobbed up and down. It was honestly terrifying as the sky rumbled. It began to rain and you were glad you had put the bags below deck.

Water continued to fall from the sky, but eventually the waves evened out and the water was like glass. The sudden shift gave you goosebumps, but you were already on edge.

You put the fenders on and Douxie steered the boat into an old dock. He showed you how to tie a cleat hitch and you took your time. You would readily admit that the island and it’s cave looked terrifying.

Embarrassment was barely a second thought as you clutched Douxie’s hand. He led you to the entrance to the cave where you saw a gigantic skull with horns. Vines grew through it, and these weren’t the vines that grew on the side of a quaint country manor, these vines were evil. The whole place was evil.

Douxie stepped up to the skull and closed his eyes. He almost immediately sank to the ground panting and you ruched to him.

“What is it? Are you okay? Is Morgana doing something to you?” The string of questions burst out of your mouth as Douxie fell further. He clutched his head and you realized what was happening. He was looking for Morgana’s aura and the island’s had attacked him.

“Come back to me Douxie, you can get through this,” you soothed. For a moment he seemed to grow stronger but his strength faded just as fast. You began to sing a lullaby spell and that was when Douxie’s eyes cleared and he grew stronger.

“You have a lovely voice,” he mumbled.

“Your flattery won’t stop me from getting mad at you.  You saw me get crippled by the island’s aura why would you open yourself to that kind of torture?” You asked, gently slapping him.

“I thought that since you’re more sensitive to auras I wouldn’t be affected as much,” he explained as you helped him to his feet.

“You should have asked me, my mind would have been ready to handle the onslaught,” you lectured. “What were you even looking for?”

“I was looking for Morgana, I was worried when she didn’t show up. She would have taken every chance to gloat or make fun of me.”

“So, what you’re saying is Morgana isn’t here?” You asked, scoffing. How could this have happened. The witch was already out.

“I know, I know. I’m so sorry. I really messed up. I-I-” Douxie ranted.

It broke your heart to see him blaming himself. “Stop, Douxie,” you said, trying to stop his guilt parade, but he just kept talking.

“Hisirdoux!” You yelled as you stepped in front of him, forcing him to meet your eyes. This time it worked. “Listen to me. So what? You made a mistake and Morgana exploited it. What’s in the past is in the past. Douxie, we will figure this out. You said that wizards don’t make mistakes and that they make unexpected possibilities. Well, someday you will look back and realize what possibilities bloomed from this.”

“Y/n...” he trailed off and you hugged him, he really needed one.

“It’s going to be okay, Douxie. We will fix this,” you whispered, meaning every word. You would find a way to fix everything. Douxie shouldn’t have to bear the weight of the world and you weren’t going to let him.

****

Yay! It's out! I love this chapter and there will be a half chapter coming soon which will be placed after this chapter while they are in Europe and it will be super fluffy! I really hope y'all enjoyed this chapter! Have a beautiful day/night and stay safe!!💖💖💕💕

P.S. if you want to be on the taglist feel free to ask. I hope it works and please message me if it doesn’t.

P.P.S. I'm totally open for requests on fluffy half chapters! If you have any ideas for the half chapters send them in and I'll do my best to include them.

#douxie x reader #douxie imagine #wizards imagine #trollhunters imagine #toa imagine #tales of arcadia imagine #wizards #wizards douxie #trollhunters #trollhunters douxie #toa #toa douxie #tales of arcadia douxie #tales of arcadia #douxie #fire keeper

[theshrubbery]

Here’s my new snowbaz fic!!

Summary: Back at Watford I was always on the ball with these things. I spent years suspecting he was a vampire and yet here I am, completely oblivious. Sometimes I feel as though I left all of that at Watford, like Baz took on a new identity when we left, like that’s an old life that I’m not a part of anymore.

Sometimes I forget that I’m not the only one with scars. My tail flicks pointedly.

Or; 5 times Simon forgot that Baz was a vampire, and 1 time he didn't.

________________________________________________________________

Baz has been gone for far too long. He’s never out this long. Especially not when he has uni the next day. It’s way past midnight, probably past one now. I haven’t checked in a while because that would mean I have to stop pacing long enough to look.

He should be back by now. Where is he?

He said he’d be back over an hour ago and he’s not answering his phone. It’s just ringing straight through to voicemail - he doesn’t even have the excuse that it’s died. Unless he’s lost it? But that’s unlikely. Baz never loses anything, Merlin knows how.  

I can’t take much more of this. I stop pacing, growl in frustration, run my hands through my hair and then slide my phone out of my pocket.

he’s still not back pen I type out quickly, sending it to Penny. She’s at home visiting her parents for the weekend, it’s her mum’s birthday. I’d give anything to have her here now, she always knows what to do. Unlike me. So much for being the chosen one, Merlin and Morgana I can’t do anything on my own.

Give him a little longer. Penny texts back in reply. I rush to unlock my phone so I can read it in full. Don’t go looking for him. Not with your tail and wings out.

Frustration bubbles up from my stomach to my chest. I hate this. I hate that I can’t just go out like a normal person. I hate that I can’t even open the door for a bloody delivery driver anymore without someone spelling all my extra parts invisible first. It’s demeaning and ridiculous and I feel like a ninny.

I clench my teeth and walk stiffly over to the table, finishing off the dregs of a bottle of cider - my third one of the night. So far. I shake the bottle a few times over my open mouth and then slam it down and continue to pace. At least it’s gotten me off the sofa, I suppose.

My stomach is in absolute knots. I’m so worried over this it’s making it ache. It doesn’t matter that we’re living safely amongst Normals, anything could have happened. It’s not like the underbelly of the Magickal world pays any attention to the rules.

Then, just as I really am about to go insane with worry, there’s a dull thump at the door. It rattles on its hinges, like someone’s thrown themselves against it and all I can think is I swear Baz took his keys when he left.

I rush to look through the keyhole, just in case. It’s a habit Baz and Penny absolutely drilled into me so that I didn’t swing the door open to anyone with my wings out.

It’s Baz. Oh, great snakes. Thank Merlin. Though the relief is short lived.

I yank the door open and my heart instantly drops to somewhere near my intestines.

Baz is heaving for breath, one arm clutching his bloodied shirt and the other hanging limply at his side, his wand in his hand. His clothes are dirty and torn, blood is puddling slowly at the floor by his feet. I’m having trouble breathing. It’s like the fight with the Mage all over again, it’s Ebb’s dead body.

Baz mutters a spell under his breath, I don’t catch what it is but it magicks the floor clean. Has he been doing that the entire way up here? Surely that’s draining way more magic than it’s worth! Energy that Baz could be better using to just concentrate on getting to the flat and not dying in the process.

“You goin’ to… You going to let me in or what?” Baz slurs, catching himself halfway through and fighting to get the words out. He’s gritting his teeth, his perfect mouth is stained red. I don’t think I’ve ever heard Baz slur, it’s disconcerting. I’ve known him most of my life and in all that time his enunciation was always near perfect at the worst of times, impeccable at the best. It’s part of what makes him so talented with magick.

“Oh fuck. Baz? Baz, what happened?” I rush out, distantly noticing I’m swearing like a Normal from the stress. My hands flutter around Baz, I don’t know where I should touch him, I don’t know if I can touch him. What if I make it worse? What if I hurt him?

“I got jumped,” Baz tells me, starting to shoulder his way past me and into the flat. “I got stabbed. Quite a few times, actually.”

I block the way, glad that Baz doesn’t seem to have the strength to boulder his way past me.

“Oh, god. We need to go to the hospital.” I dart to the dish on the hallway side, my vision tilting in panic as I grab my keys and wallet. I can’t believe this is happening. I can’t believe what we’ve fought together and he’s been so badly maimed by muggers. This might even beat the Numpties incident. I can’t believe I’m thinking something like that at a time like this - this isn’t the time for jokes. Oh, god.

“I’m not going,” Baz says, pushing past me. I grab his shoulders to stop him, and then let go with a sickened jolt when he winces.

“Stop being stupid, Baz. Hospital. Now.” Baz leans his forearm on the door-frame and begins to bow over himself, groaning. My heart is hammering a mile a minute. “Look at you, you’re bleeding to death!”

Baz snorts. “If only.”

“What?”

“Merlin and Morgana, just let me in.” Baz spells the floor clean again. “Hurry up, before someone sees you.”

“But the-”

“Simon.” Baz lifts his bowed head to look at me, his forehead is crinkled. “Trust me. Don’t-” he breaks off with a load moan of pain, turning to rest his forehead on the arm holding him up against the frame.

“Baz!” My voice is shaking so hard it’s difficult to imagine I ever stood up to dragons, if this is all it takes to bring me down. To be fair, I think I’d go down with a lot less, too, these days.

“I need to lay down,” Baz says faintly. I really don’t like this. I mean, who would? But this is terrifying. It’s always Baz cleaning up after me, Baz patching me up, Baz is never the one as vulnerable as this. I don’t like it, I hate it, and I hate that I don’t have a single clue what to fucking do.

“Fine. Fuck. Okay, come on,” I stutter out. I take Baz’s wand, ignoring the pang in my chest at holding it, and sling his arm over my shoulders. I lead him into the flat, kicking the front door closed behind us, and walk us slowly to the sofa.

Baz staggers his way over, holding out his other arm and grabbing at things as we pass them. He grabs the back of a chair, the sideboard, the back of the sofa. He’s leaving blood stains but I don’t care.

“Easy, Snow,” Baz says as I lower him down, as gently as I possibly can. Baz’s eyes look a little glazed and I feel sick.

“I got you,” I tell him quietly. I put his wand on the coffee table.

“Your hands’re shaking,” Baz mumbles, his words stringing together, like that’s the most important fucking thing to be realising right now. Maybe he’s going into shock? I really doesn’t know what to do. I needs Penny. Penny would know what to do.

Once he can feel the sofa beneath him, Baz lays himself down and I lift both his legs up onto the sofa for him. I try to make him as comfortable as possible despite the way they hang, lanky, over the arm. Or as comfortable as one can be when he’s fucking bleeding out and refusing to get any medical attention .

“Do you need anything?” I ask quickly, already pulling my phone out to scroll for Penny’s number.

“Towel or something, please. Just to soak the blood.”

“Okay, love. Okay. I got it. I’ll be right back.” I kiss his forehead and rush off, holding the phone to my ear with my shoulder as I crash my way into the bathroom and start rummaging around for towels and anything that might possibly help.

“Simon? What is it?” Penny's tinny voice asks. Not even a hello, that’s so typical, straight to the point. Right now I’m extremely thankful for it. I pull a plastic bowl out of the sink and throw some towels in it as I reply.

“Baz’s hurt. He got jumped. I think he’s been stabbed.”

“Merlin, stabbed? How is that possible? Is he alright?”  

“He’s bleeding bad and refusing to go to hospital.” I throw a half empty packet of plasters in my bowl as though they’ll help anything. “I don’t know what to do, Pen.”

“I mean… He can’t go to hospital anyways, Simon. He should be fine unless it was some special sort of weapon. I mean, I can’t think of many ways that a knife can actually kill a vampire.” And then the other shoe drops.

“Oh, shit,” I swear, realisation washing over me in a great big wave of Simon you complete buffoon.

“What is it?”  

“A vampire. Great snakes, Pen, I forgot he was a bloody vampire!”

“Oh, Simon,” Penny says with a sigh. Though there’s still a worried edge to her voice. “No wonder you were worrying so much.”

“Now it makes sense why he wouldn’t go to hospital.”

“Go and look after him, Simon. He’ll be alright. Just keep him comfortable and he’ll be healed up in no time. If he’s still not healed by the time I come back home I’ll sort him out.”

“I will. Sorry, Pen. For disturbing you so late. But- thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s what I’m here for.” There’s a muted beep as she hangs up the phone, and I shove it back in my pocket. I feel like a complete idiot. Vampire. How on earth could I possibly forget that? I’m going to blame it on my panic. I’m going to blame it on the fact Baz doesn’t hang from walls and kidnap virgin maidens to drain their blood, the fact he doesn’t turn into a bat.

Or at least not that I’m aware of.

I take the towels and box of plasters out of the empty bowl and fill it with warm water out the bathroom tap instead, then carry all of it back to the sofa and set it out on the floor next to Baz.

He’s still lying exactly how I left him, though with one arm draped over his eyes, the other clutching in a white-knuckled grip at his torso.

“Took you long enough,” Baz says in a low voice. It almost sounds like a groan.

“Sorry, Baz.” I kneel down, my legs tucked under me. “I completely forgot about the whole… Vampire thing.”

“Vampire thing,” he parrots back. “Right. So I heard. That would explain things.” Guilt rushes through my system, heats my cheeks. Of course he heard me on the phone. Back at Watford I was always on the ball with these things. I spent years suspecting he was a vampire and yet here I am, completely oblivious. Sometimes I feel as though I left all of that at Watford, like Baz took on a new identity when we left, like that’s an old life that I’m not a part of anymore.

Sometimes I forget that I’m not the only one with scars. My tail flicks pointedly.

“Does it hurt?” I ask him, dunking a towel in the water. “How did it even happen?”

Baz nods and makes a small noise deep in his throat. “Yeah. It hurts. It probably will for a few hours, then it’ll mostly just be itchy. I’ll heal in no time. The only reason I’m even bleeding like this is because I’d just fed - I’ll have to go again once this is sorted.”

“But how did it happen? Was it another vampire?” Surely there has to be more to the story than this. Baz looks uncomfortable, if a little sheepish.

“Just your average alleyway muggers, really.” I raise my eyebrows.

“Crowley.” I curse. “How’d you manage that?”

“I didn’t want to hurt them,” Baz admits with a wince, lowering his arm and staring up at the ceiling. “It would, of course, been fairly easy to tear them to shreds with my bare hands. But that isn’t something I was willing to do.”

“Christ, Baz. There’s going easy on people and then there’s this.” I let go of the towel and gesture sweepingly across Baz’s abdomen and chest. “They shouldn’t have been able to leave this much damage on you.”

Baz looks distant, like he’s weighing things up in his head. I hate that look. It means he’s deciding how much I need to know.

We haven’t really been getting along as well as we used to, recently. Or maybe, it’s just hard to transition from sworn enemies to boyfriends in the matter of a few days. We’ve only been out of Watford a couple of months, but it’s been difficult for us. At first we couldn’t stop kissing and groping for long enough to watch a full episode of the Bake Off but recently it’s like there’s some invisible wedge growing between us.

I still love him, I’m sure of it. I think he loves me, too. But I don’t know what I’m doing. What we’re doing. We need to talk, communicate, but I’m terrified that if we do he’ll leave me. So I just let the divide deepen, and hate myself for it the entire time.

Looking at Baz now, though, I’m scared that I’m looking at the same Baz that tried to set himself alight in the woods. He has issues too, he just hides them better than I do. I feel like such a shit boyfriend, I can’t help him. One day he’ll realise he’s better than me, that I’m not good enough. But I don't want him to go, and that's selfish.

“I didn’t want to hurt them,” Baz repeats after a long silence. “Either way, they were pretty scared by the fact I stayed on my feet for so long.”

“Of course they were, if you were normal you’d be dead.”

Baz immediately flinches, his smirk drops along with my stomach.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that,” I say quickly, but the words catch in my throat and sound like an insincere stutter. “You are normal. For you, I mean.”

Baz sighs. For a second I think he’s going to punch me, but then I realise it’s the opposite. He deflates; his pinched brow and glazed eyes are the fight leaving him.

“Help me out of this shirt,” he says, letting it go.

“I’m sorry, I-”

“But I’m not normal, am I? Not for me. I wasn’t born this way, I was made. It was forced on me,” he quips. Sharp and fast and unfaltering. His eyes are blazing again.

“I-”

“It’s fine.” As quickly as the sparks catch they return to ash again. I really am sorry though. He won’t let me say it, not out loud, so I carry it like a mantra through my thoughts; I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I love you, I’m sorry. “Help me with the shirt. Please, love.”

I bite my lip, but the endearment melts me a little. I know that it’s genuine, even if there is a whole void of unsaid things drifting between us. I reach for the buttons, undoing them as best I can with how my hands are shaking. I have to fight to keep my wings still, my tail, but it’s a losing battle. It’s written all over my body how agitated and nervous I am.

The shirt (the white shirt, why Baz hunts in a white shirt is beyond me) is torn across the chest and stomach, and as I undo the buttons and push the sides apart, my hand accidentally slides through the slash. Baz flinches, though he tries to control it.

“Watch the gaping bloody holes,” he says bluntly. I wince. There’s two glistening puncture wounds, I do my best not to look at them.

I pull the shirt away from him, bracing a hand on his back to help him sit up so I can pull it from under him even though I’m fairly sure he doesn’t really need the help. Looking at him, I can already see where the skin is healing. It doesn’t scab and clot, like flesh wounds normally do, the skin just seems to stitch itself smoothly back together.

I ball his shirt up and throw it to the side, then gently begin wiping the blood away with a damp towel.

“Careful, Snow,” Baz warns with a quiet hiss.

“Does it still hurt?” I have no idea how vampire pain receptors work.

“Crowely, Snow. Of course it hurts. I got stabbed .” Baz doesn’t really sound mad, but his voice has an edge to it.

“I’m sorry,” I say again. I don’t really know what else to say.

Baz doesn’t reply straight away. I can’t tell what he’s thinking. I carry on wiping at the blood, vaguely recognising that, really, this isn’t even Baz’s.

“Why do you keep apologising so much?” He asks softly.

“I just- I don’t know.” I really don’t. “I just keep making you feel bad, and what sort of boyfriend forgets his boyfriend is a vampire? I’m sorry, Baz. Really.”

“It’s alright, Simon.” My stomach flutters at the use of my first name. “I’m glad I have you.” Baz always does this. He puts affection over everything like a salve. Lately he won’t let me be in the wrong, not him or Penny. The both of them walking on eggshells with me. It’s why nothing ever gets properly sorted out. Now isn’t the time for a fight, though.

“I bet you could do a better job with magic,” I mutter bitterly anyways.

“I don’t want to use magic. I’ve used enough magic. I don’t think I’d have enough left in me if I wanted to regardless.”

“Are you sure this is okay?”

“Absolutely, Simon. Absolutely.”

I carry on patching him up in silence. Even though it’s pointless. He’ll heal anyways, but he doesn’t stop me from wrapping the towels around him like a bandage and applying pressure with my hand. I look at where my hands are pressing over the wounds, trying to focus on the solid pressure of Baz beneath them.

The pain is mostly gone out of his face now, he just looks uncomfortable.

I wonder how indestructible Baz is. I wonder how long he’ll live. I wonder- no. I swallow. It’s no good thinking about all of this, not now, at least.

“I’m going to nap,” Baz says.

“Here? Or…?”

“I’ll be alright here, don’t worry.” I stare down at him until he looks back up at me. My heart squeezes as our eyes make contact and I reach up to press my hand against the side of his his grey face. His eyes seem to melt a little, he smiles and turns his head to kiss my hand.

“Come to bed. With me,” I whisper. I don’t want to be away from him right now. I need him near me, I need to feel that un-dead chest breathing.

It’s a struggle, but I help him up, and keep an arm around his waist as I lead him to the bedroom. He gets into bed first, lifting the covers and sliding in with a low hum. He’s falling asleep almost as soon as his head hits the pillow. I notice how he pushes the covers away so that they don’t get stained.

I don’t care, I climb in and pull them over the both of us.

Baz lays still for a moment, tense. Then he shuffles closer to me, rests his head on my shoulder. I press my cheek to the top of it, hoping to smell bergamot. All I can smell is the tangy copper of blood. He’ll be wanting to shower once he’s awake, Baz hates being a mess.

He’s cold where he presses against me, but I don’t mind. He’s a vampire. It’s part of the deal. I want him as he is, not as he wishes he should be. I wonder if he thinks the same of me.

#snowbaz #simon snow fanfiction #snowbaz fic #fic rec #baz pitch fanfiction #simon snow #baz pitch

[supercalvin]

There are few fic writers that have the talent, patience, understanding, and dedication to write heartfelt, emotional, accurate, gut-wrenching, amazing stories, but you are certainly one of them. I've been reading your fics on AO3 for the last 3 days straight and I'm nearly done. At first I wanted to tell you which were my favorites before I realized that ALL of them were. I'm ecstatic that I discovered your incredible writing. If I may, could I ask for a continuation of the farmer ficlet?

Can I just say that this was such a sweet sweet sweet message @daesmilewings  and I’m so sorry for the delay!! I hope I can make up for it with this ficlet! 

FARMER FICLET PART 1

Prompts + Ficlets

***

The only reason Merlin slept the rest of the night was because Gaius gave him a sleeping draught. He woke late and ran to get Arthur’s breakfast on time, but at least he was rested.

Arthur looked like he was about to yell at Merlin for being late, but he must have taken pity on Merlin for once, and didn’t say anything.

He went through the day in a haze, his mind continually going back to the farm in his dream and Arthur’s arm around him. Arthur kept glancing at him like he thought Merlin might keel over. Merlin excused himself more than once that day to find a chore on the other side of the citadel. 

That night he dreamt of Ealdor. He dreamt of Balinor and his mother. There was a small boy with dark hair running around Hunith’s feet, running into Balinor’s arms. Merlin startled awake, not sure whether guilt or sorrow was filling him more.

It was still early morning, but Merlin didn’t dare go back to sleep. 

The stables were quiet at this time. Merlin hushed Llamrei as he woke him, petting his nose with a gentle hand. “Come on, boy. Let’s go.”

Merlin rode out into the woods at a quick pace, hoping he could find the Druids’ camp before day break.

 ***

“Where have you been?”

Merlin had barely stepped into the royal stables, guiding Llamrei back into his stall, before Arthur was at his side.

“And with my horse too.” Arthur crossed his arms.

“Llamrei likes me better,” Merlin’s point was proven when Llamrei affectionately bumped his head against his chest.

“You run off without telling Gaius where you went. And I didn’t give you the day off. You could have been lying in a ditch for all I knew.”

Merlin didn’t look at Arthur as he fed Llamrei an apple, feeling something warm settle in his chest, knowing Arthur’s anger only came from concern.

“I’m sorry.” Merlin said, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Arthur opened his mouth then snapped it shut. “What is with you?” Arthur narrowed his eyes, “Gaius was oddly cagey this afternoon and you barely said a word to me yesterday.”

Merlin looked around as he brushed Llamrei’s mane.

“Is it…?” Arthur raised a brow, making a gesture which Merlin assumed meant magic.

Merlin nodded.

“We’ll talk tonight. Don’t think you’re getting out of it, either,” Arthur snapped, before striding off. 

***

That evening, Merlin barely closed the chamber doors behind himself before Arthur said, “Out with it.”

Merlin sighed, setting down the wine pitcher and Arthur’s dinner. He poured Arthur’s goblet, “I’ve been having visions.”

“What?” Arthur looked like he was about to bolt out of his chair.

Merlin held up his hand, “I don’t have the Sight. They aren’t nightmares either. I went to the Druids today to see what they knew about it.”

“Why didn’t you-“ Arthur’s question was cut off, as it often was with that question. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ had been a bit of a sore point over the last year. Merlin had urged that he hadn’t wanted Arthur to decide between his father’s laws and Merlin, but Arthur still believed Merlin had lied because he had thought Arthur would kill him. 

Arthur sighed, “How long has this been going on?”

“Only a few days,” Merlin said. “I didn’t even know they were visions until night before last.”

“What happened? If they aren’t visions of the future, then what are they?”

“They’re impossible futures,” Merlin said, not looking Arthur in the eye, “Things that people desire most, but will never be possible…”

Arthur frowned, “What did you see?”

“Morgana on the throne.”

Arthur nodded, his frown deepening. “That’s all?”

“I saw Gwen with Lancelot…”

Arthur flinched, and Merlin didn’t blame him. He and Gwen hadn’t been in a relationship for a few years now, but thinking of Lancelot’s sacrifice at the Door still hurt all of them.

“Gaius dreamt of peace with…. Well, she’s no longer living.” Merlin said.

“Who else did you see?”

“No one,” Merlin said. He had promised Arthur no more lying, but some lies were necessary.

“Can you stop it?”

Merlin nodded, “The druids said it was a type of magic that happens sometimes to those with powerful magic. They cast a charm they said should keep it from happening again.”

Arthur nodded, looking uncomfortable but pleased that it was at least being handled.

“Did you see your own impossible dream?”

Merlin hadn’t thought of it. He had been so wrapped up in Arthur’s, that he hadn’t even wondered what he would want. There were so many things he wished he had done differently. He understood that circumstances were out of his control, but that was what made it an impossible dream. But his true dream was still possible. To have an untied Albion, to have magic return to the land…and to be by Arthur’s side.

And Merlin suddenly realized Morgana's dream wasn’t his first vision. The night before, he had dreamt of Albion. He had been confused by the dream, but that was hardly odd, considering all dreams were irrational. There had been a feast, and he was sitting at Arthur’s side. Lancelot was there next to Gwaine and Percival. Gwen was seated down the line, next to Morgana, who had looked younger and happier than she had in years. Balinor had been sitting at the visiting dignitary’s table, a little white dragon draped across his shoulders. The dream wasn’t a memory. How could it have been? Balinor had died far before he reached Camelot. Morgana was young, not broken by her grief and pain. It was as if several versions of Merlin’s life had been jumbled together.

Merlin remembered he had drunk the mulled wine, not even thinking about the fact that he was sitting next to Arthur instead of serving him.

The dream had faded in and out, but it had been oddly real, just like the other visions. Merlin remembered Arthur taking his hand and leading him to the royal chambers. He had pressed Merlin up against the door, and kissed him thoroughly, as if he had been waiting all night for it.

Merlin had woken, not thinking anything of it. The feast was odd, and strangely real, but nothing too out of place for a dream. As for the kiss, Merlin certainly had had dreams like it before. He hadn’t even thought to connect it with any of the other visions.

“Merlin?”

Merlin was pulled from his thoughts by Arthur standing, “What is it?”

Merlin gave a weak smile, “Nothing. It’s nothing.”

“You’re a terrible liar. How I never saw it before I’ll never know.”

Merlin sighed, “I just… I just realized that I had seen my own vision. I just hadn’t realized it.”

“What was it?”

Merlin looked away, “A feast. With everyone there.”

“Everyone?” Arthur paused and then said, “Ah. I see.”

Arthur crossed his arms, “You saw a vision of my impossible future, didn’t you? It’s why you’ve been so quiet the last few days.”

“I…” Merlin sighed and gave up on the lie. “I didn’t want you to worry about it.”

“Was it that bad that you had to hide it from me?”

“No, of course not, don’t be absurd.” Arthur was still frowning and Merlin sighed, “It’s going to bother you, isn’t it?”

“Well it obviously bothered you.” Arthur snapped, “You’ve been avoiding me for days.”

Merlin winced, “It’s not bad.”

“Well?” Arthur said impatiently.

“You were living on a farm,” Merlin said reluctantly.

“A farm,” Arthur’s brow furrowed, “Are you sure it was my vision?”

“You were the only one there. There were wheat fields and a vegetable garden. You had just fed the chickens, of all things” Merlin laughed and realized he was starting to sound too fond. He coughed, “Anyways, you wanted me to make rabbit stew and that was it. Nothing bad.”

“You were there?” Arthur asked, looking much paler, as if he just realized something.

Merlin mentally cursed himself, “I mean, obviously. I was there. You obviously need someone to do all the real work,” Merlin gave a nervous laugh.

Arthur looked at him for a long moment and Merlin tried not to fidget.

“You know, don’t you?”

“Know what?” Merlin asked far too quickly.

“Merlin, don’t play with me. You saw.  You saw what I want.”

Merlin swallowed, fiddling with his own sleeve, tugging on a loose thread. “You know, in all the visions, no one had ever interacted with me. I was like a ghost watching from the outside. But then you turned up, hands covered in dirt, pulling me along to look at some lavender bush that we had been fighting about because even in your dreams Arthur, we still fight.”

Arthur looked embarrassed, his red rising up his neck and ears.

Merlin thought of how impossible that dream was. How Arthur could never have it. “I’m sorry things can’t be that simple.”

Arthur looked away, “No. I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have had to see that. To be forced into my dream. I understand if you would like some distance.”

“What?”

“I didn’t have control over the dream, obviously, but I hope I conducted myself well.” Arthur’s face was becoming redder.

“You don’t care if you conduct yourself well with me in person, let alone a dream, what are you talking about?”

Arthur nodded, “Good, so I didn’t…Good.”

Merlin realized Arthur thought he had pushed himself upon Merlin in the vision. If only he knew what Merlin’s vision had been.

“Arthur, I didn’t mean… Arthur that’s not why I’m sorry.” Merlin stepped forward and tried to catch Arthur’s eye. “I’m sorry that as King you’ve had to sacrifice so much.  I would give anything to see you as happy as you were when you showed me that damned lavender plant. I’m sorry that your vision was just you being...”

“What?”

Merlin smiled, “Happy.”

Arthur looked away again.

“Arthur, look at me,” Merlin reached out, tilting Arthur’s chin toward him, locking eyes with Arthur’s. There was a sadness in them that Merlin never wanted to see again. “Every fiber of my being would give that to you, if I could. I would give anything to see you happy. I wish our lives could be like that simple farm. I wish we could spend our days in that bed.”

Arthur looked amazed, his mouth open and his wet eyes wide.

“In my vision, you dragged me to your chambers and you pressed me up against those doors,” Merlin nodded behind himself, “You’re not the only one with impossible dreams, Arthur-”

Merlin didn’t get a chance to finish. Arthur was grabbing Merlin's face in both hands, his lips clumsily pressing into Merlin’s. His teeth nipped at Merlin’s lips, and Merlin grabbed onto Arthur’s cape, desperate to stay upright as Arthur dragged him backwards. Merlin stumbled and realized Arthur had walked him backwards until he was up against the very doors he had dreamed about.

Arthur panted against Merlin’s lips. 

“Like that?”

Merlin nodded, looking up at Arthur’s eyes, “Yeah.”

Merlin threaded his fingers into Arthur’s hair and pulled him in again.

“I couldn’t give a damn about the farm,” Arthur said roughly against Merlin’s lips, his teeth dragging down to Merlin’s chin and jaw, “Being King comes with sacrifices.” He pressed his lips to Merlin’s earlobe, sinking down to press a soft kiss to Merlin’s neck, before tilting his head up to look at Merlin again, “The only thing I want is to have you by my side.”

“Then you have me,” Merlin said and let Arthur kiss him until he couldn’t think any longer.

***

(PART 1 in case you missed it lol)

Prompts + Ficlets

#merlin #merthur #merlin fic #merthur fic #ficlets #daesmilewings

[yellowmagicalgirl]

Nari: the Adorable Plant-Themed Lamp

(Disclaimer: this post is not an attack on fans of Nari. It is just my own personal frustrations with her character.)

The first time I saw Nari on-screen in the “Castle Attacked” clip, I loved her. I remember thinking to myself, “She’s so adorable. She might be my favorite character in Wizards, or at least my favorite character who was not introduced in a previous show, and unlike with my other faves from the Tales of Arcadia I can’t see myself ever wanting to hurt her in fics and au’s.”

Instead, I caught myself thinking “Oh come on, just kill Nari off.” And I wasn’t fully sure why; nothing has changed about her. She’s still the same adorable plant-themed girl, so why do I dislike her so much? Then I remembered the Sexy Lamp Test.

The Sexy Lamp Test basically goes along the lines of this: take a major female character. Now replace her with a sexy lamp. Does your story still work, or at least mostly work? If it does, then you need to change your story because lamps don’t have agency and neither does your female character. She’s not a character; she’s a plot device.

While I personally wouldn’t call Nari sexy, for most of the story you could easily replace her with an adorable, plant themed lamp. But, let me take all of Nari’s appearances and see what happens when you replace her with a lamp:

Powering up Camelot to create the time rift: she needs to be a powerful magical lamp that Merlin activates.

Interacting with Morgana, Guinevere, and Arthur as they are playing in the woods: doesn’t make sense for Arthur to freak out so much. Still, could be replaced with a random magical animal like a Stalkling.

Reviving Morgana: Morgana would need a different reason for having a green hand and a green gem in the helmet, unless lamp!Nari is used by Bellroc and Skrael to give her the prosthetic and gem. Morgana’s first meeting with the Arcane Order wouldn’t be as pleasant.

Betraying the Arcane Order: A lamp can’t do this, and it wouldn’t make sense with a random magical animal, either. Sadly, this scene is brushed over.

Archie pretending to be Nari: I mean, he has pretended to be a small ball that Douxie used for a cup game. Pretending to be a lamp shouldn’t be too hard.

Search for Jim’s soul: They do not get confirmation that Jim’s soul isn’t on Earth (unless the lamp has a “look for person” setting). Claire can still get magical visions in the Shadow Realm.

Telling Douxie that the Arcane Order will tear his soul to pieces: let Bellroc and Skrael make their own threats

Hiding from the Arcane Order: Hiding a lamp.

Nari has two contributions to the plot that are more than just “oh yeah she’s the apocalypse-starting MacGuffin” or “she’s a member of the Arcane Order going along and doing Arcane Order things”. Those contributions are helping with Morgana’s origin story, and leaving the Arcane Order (a scene that could’ve been expanded upon).

Normally, I don’t like the idea of “to stop the apocalypse we need to kill this one woman”. But with Nari, I had to ask myself why Nari didn’t die in Wizards (other than to provide plot for Rise of the Titans). Sure, most of the main characters aren’t the type of people to kill a random person for the greater good, not unless that person is attacking them. Merlin, though? Merlin is morally grey and all about the “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few” argument. And it’d be one thing if it was pre-established that Nari can’t be killed, or at least can’t be killed except for by very specific means. But this was never established. Likewise it was never established if Nari needed to be alive or not for the Arcane Order to break the Genesis Seals. If her corpse could’ve been used, then sure, keep her alive so she can fight back against this.

Now, I wasn’t hoping for Nari to be killed by anyone else, because even though it would make sense for Merlin to kill her, if she was killed to keep her out of the Arcane Order’s hands then the tone of the show would be too grimdark even for my tastes. Instead, I was hoping that Nari would sacrifice herself. Maybe she’d need very specific circumstances to do so, but sacrificing herself so that Bellroc and Skrael can’t end the world would line up with the sacrifices made by other characters in the story. Heck, if we want to keep the Douxie afterlife scene he could have needed to have held off Bellroc and Skrael while Nari prepares to have everything necessary to sacrifice herself. He could’ve died, and Bellroc and Skrael think they’re victorious. That now they can break the seals. And then Nari sacrifices herself, killing off the other two in the process. Nari then shows up in the afterlife with Merlin and Morgana, and the three of them charge Douxie with living and leading the Guardians of Arcadia with now protecting the Balance of the universe.

I know that, had Wizards been the same length as 3Below, there’s a good chance I would’ve been able to appreciate Nari more as a character. Sadly though, we have what we have. Hopefully she’ll be a more meaningful character in Rise of the Titans.

More information on the Sexy Lamp Test

#toa nari #tales of arcadia #toawizards #salt #death tw #suicide tw #hisirdoux casperan #toa merlin #meta #sexy lamp test #arcane order

[little-ligi]

Whumptober - No. 18

No. 18 - Panic Attack | Phobia Fandom - BBC Merlin [Early series 2. Slight Arthur/Gwen] Wordcount - 1458

Morgana woke with a scream.

The window slammed open with a force as if a gale whipped outside, but it was a still calm night.

She sat up in bed, her nightdress tangling around her legs as her feet scrabbled for purchase to push her knees up to her chest. Her heart was hammering, her breaths coming in quick short bursts.

It was magic. She was doing magic.

Fear filled her, twisting and worming its way into her head, seeping down her back. Her chest constricted, stealing her breath. Her hands clenched, her fingernails digging into her palms. She snatched at the blankets, gripping them tightly and pulling them higher up her body.

She felt a cold sweat break across her forehead, ice seeming to fill her body as fear sent shivers down her spine. She screamed again. Her whole body shook. She gasped, trying to breathe, but her throat had tightened, her chest rising and falling rapidly.

The glass in the window shattered.

“Gwen!” she screamed.

She clawed at the blankets, hugging them around herself, trying to keep breathing. She could feel her heartbeat, pounding in her ears, filling her head with a thumping rushing sound.

Tears streamed down her face, she couldn’t stop them. She was frozen in place, gasping and shaking. It felt like her heart was going to burst from her chest.

“Gwen!”

Her stomach was churning, bile rising up her throat, searing her insides. She wrapped her arms and the blankets tighter around her middle. Whimpering and crying. Her chest hurt, her head hurt. Her vision was tunnelling, the sight of the broken window all she could see.

The sound of the door opening made Morgana scream again, but it was only Gwen. She was in her nightdress and carrying a small candle as she hurried forwards. She set the candle on the table beside Morgana’s bed and perched on the edge of the mattress.

Morgana threw herself into Gwen’s arms, sobbing. Gwen rubbed her back, stroked her hair and muttered reassurances but Morgana couldn’t hear them.

The open, glassless window swung shut, banging against the frame, rattling in time with her fast heartbeat. She still couldn’t breathe properly. She put her hands to her head, fingernails digging into her scalp as she clawed through her hair. As if she could rake the horrid magic out of her mind.

“Calm down, it’s alright, it was just a dream,” Gwen whispered, gently pulling Morgana’s hands from her hair. Some caught and the sharp sting of pain as the hairs pulled out made her cry harder.

She was struggling against Gwen, screaming and sobbing, desperate to make the window stop shaking.

“I’m sorry.” Gwen sounded near tears herself, trying to hold Morgana’s arms still.

The door slammed open making both Morgana and Gwen scream. Arthur, dressed only in a nightshirt and smallclothes, burst into the room. He was barefooted and tousle haired, but his eyes were awake and alert, his sword raised in front of him.

“Morgana!” His gaze swept over her and Gwen then darted around the room. He took a step forward, his sword poised. “What is it? Is someone in here?”

“No! I – I…” Her eyes darted to the window. She couldn’t tell him. He’d kill her if he knew she had magic, her irrational mind told her. Her hands shook as they balled into fists. Fresh waves of panic rolled over her. Her breath stuck in her throat.

“I heard you screaming,” he said uncertainly, his sword point dipping slightly.

“It was a nightmare, my lord,” Gwen said slowly, not quite looking at Arthur.

Arthur strode to the window, reaching to pull it shut but freezing when he noticed the smashed glass.

“What happened to the window?” He turned, his brow furrowed.

Morgana could only cry, curling over her knees and burying her face in the blanket. She felt Gwen shift slightly, her arm coming around Morgana’s back, pulling her into a hug. She collapsed against her friend.

“I don’t know, my lord,” Gwen said. “It was like that when I got here. Maybe the wind?”

“There is no wind,” Arthur said. She heard him latch the window.

He was going to guess. Arthur was going to find out she had magic. Morgana wailed, her heart pounding faster. He’d know and he’d tell Uther. And then they’d have her executed. Each breath came out as a whimper, her sobs catching in her throat as she gasped for breath. She had never been so afraid.

Gwen began stroking her hair again, calming Morgana’s trembling.

“Hush, my lady. It’s alright.” She spoke softly, like she was calming a frightened horse.

Arthur took a step back towards her, his sword still gripped firmly in his hand. She struggled and thrashed in Gwen’s grip, trying to get away from Arthur’s sword. All the muscles down her back tensed, holding her rigid, but for the fluttering of her chest, still panting too fast.

The candle Gwen had left on the bedside table flared, the flames whipping higher.

Morgana shrieked and the flame died. Extinguished without even a puff of smoke.

Gwen and Arthur both stared at it, but Morgana couldn’t look. She threw her hands over her face, feeling tears cascade down over her palms.

“Sorcery…” Arthur said quietly. It was scary how much he sounded like Uther.

This was it. He knew. He would kill her.

Morgana cried harder. Gwen’s hand shook where it was rested on Morgana’s arm.

“There must be a sorcerer hiding somewhere in the castle,” Arthur said, turning away from Morgana and stalking around her room, swishing his sword at the curtains and behind her dressing screen. “They’re trying to hurt you.”

Morgana gulped on the sobs that ripped from her throat. Gwen pulled her closer, putting her arms tightly around her shoulders, shushing in her ear.

“They’re not in here,” Arthur declared once he’d been around the room twice. “I’ll alert the guards and have the castle swept.” He left the room.

“Shh, don’t worry, Morgana,” Gwen whispered to her, rocking her soothingly. “Arthur will keep you safe.”

After a while Morgana nodded and sat up. She could feel the panic subsiding slowly, simmering low in her chest now. Arthur didn’t know it was her. Her breathing was shuddering back into a more regular rhythm.

A gentle knock at the door and Arthur reappeared. Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks at the sight of him. He moved swiftly over to the table at the other side of the room, where he put his sword down and filled a goblet from Morgana’s water jug.

He came over and awkwardly sat on the edge of the bed, trying not to get too close to Gwen and not meeting her eye. He put one hand on Morgana’s knee, passing her the goblet. Her hand trembled as she raised it and Gwen put her own hand over hers to steady it as she put it to her lips. She couldn’t take more than a small sip past the lump in her throat. She let the goblet rest on her knees, wrapping both hands around it and focussing on the ripples across the surface of the water so she didn’t have to look at Arthur or Gwen.

“Don’t worry,” he said, his voice deep and reassuring. “You’re safe.”

A tear dripped into the goblet. Arthur gently reached up and brushed her cheek, then dried his fingers on her blanket. Morgana was surprised as a small jolt in her chest made a smile tug at her lips.

Arthur gave her a soft smile in return. It was a rare expression on him, but the one Morgana had come to love from her pseudo little brother.

“Come.” He held out his hand, she took it, pleased that her own had almost stopped shaking. “You can sleep in my chambers. Merlin will make up a bed. In fact, have my bed, I’ll stay awake and guard you.”

Morgana’s lower lip wobbled but she sucked it in and bit it, blinking as more tears stuck her eyelashes together.

Gwen took the goblet as Arthur pulled Morgana to her feet. Putting it beside the extinguished candle on the table, Gwen pulled the blanket from the bed and draped it around Morgana’s shoulders. Morgana caught her hand and smiled.

“And Gwen?” she whispered to Arthur, her hand gripping tightly at her maid’s.

Arthur glanced at Gwen and blushed. “Uh… um, yes. Of course.”

He collected his sword from the table and strode out of the room, looking back over his shoulder to check Morgana and Gwen were following him.

Morgana sniffed, holding the blanket tightly to her chest, her hand against her heart. It had slowed to nearly its normal rhythm.

#whumptober2020 #no. 18 #panic attack #phobia #bbc merlin #fanfiction #fic #lady morgana #nightmares #angst #arthur/gwen #arthur and morgana siblings #ligi writes

[elizabethemerald]

Uh.... how about Reckless GSA au?

Ah my shame, my shame, my greatest shame! I love the idea of this AU, but I just don’t have the ability to give it the love and attention it deserves. I feel bad that I probably won’t be able to continue this story, so I’m dumping all my current parts of the story here. 

My Reckless GSA AU is probably one of my angstiest AUs and that’s saying something considering Requiem for a Trollhunter literally starts with Jim dying. 

This AU is a canon divergent story. It follows the established canon up until Jim emerges from the vision Merlin gave him in Unbecoming. In my AU Jim takes the message from the vision that he is a Trollhunter, with or without the Amulet. So he decides to hand it over to Usurna. 

However Merlin built in a failsafe, that as long as the Trollhunter lives and is bonded to the amulet only they can destroy the Amulet. So Jim is able to reclaim his amulet and armor shortly. 

When the Krubera escort him, Claire and Toby out of Trollmarket, Jim gives them the slip and meets up with Vendel to talk about what to do next. Then Usurna makes her assassination attempt, not knowing that Jim is still in Trollmarket. Jim is able to stop the assassination, but he is severely injured in the process, in fact he is almost beaten to death by the Krubera. 

In order to save his life, Vendel bonds his soul to the Heartstone. He is filled with magic and his injuries are healed, but not perfectly. Vendel banishes Usurna (who was badly injured) and the remaining Krubera. Than he seals Trollmarket. Similar to what Aaarrrgghh did during Gunmar’s invasion at the Gyre Station, but with every possible entrance. All of the crystal keys are collected and put under lock and key. 

Gunmar attempts to invade shortly after. He can’t gain entry, but neither can anyone leave. Trollmarket is under siege. Claire and the Trollhunters are still able to go to school, with the help of the shadow Staff. 

After he is rebuffed from Trollmarket, Gunmar takes his rage out on the Janus Order. With the help of the Trollhunters a few more of the changelings are able to be saved from the slaughter. 

In the show Gunmar rebuilt his army by taking slaves from the citizens of Trollmarket with his Decimaar blade. Without that new blood he is unable to begin an actual war on the surface. Instead he has to work to find some way to take Trollmarket, gather allies, all while maintaining the siege. His methods grow steadily more cruel and viscous as Jim and his friends continually stop him. 

He targets their families, hoping to either Kill Jim, which would kill the Heartstone and thus Trollmarket’s protections. If he can’t kill Jim he tries to force Jim into surrendering by targeting Toby and Barbara. He targets Claire because he realizes she has the shadow staff which would allow him to bypass Trollmarket’s walls. 

SO all that above was basically the set up of the AU. The actual story hadn’t even started yet at this point. From this point things go very poorly for the Trollhunters, but never so poorly that the Eternal Night happens. 

Claire, Jim and Toby are all fighting almost every day to stop Gunmar. Strickler takes his position as principal and puts Nomura in his former place of history teacher. They, and the surviving changelings work to prevent word of Gunmar reaching the humans, they also protect the school and protect Barbara at work. 

Because Claire has no reason to activate the super portal she doesn’t get possessed, instead the corruption process by the dark magic of the Shadow Staff is slower, sapping her strength, destroying her body bit by bit. 

Jim feels like with his bond to the Heartstone, and the magic and healing that it offers he has to be the one to take the blows more than his friends. So his injuries are often worst than the others. 

Toby tries his best to spare Jim the pain he knows comes from being the shield to the others, but he has no magic, neither Heartstone nor Shadow Staff. So his injuries take time to heal and are constantly compounded as more and more injuries are added on top. 

At this point they join the GSA club for the school and long with Eli and Steve (Steli) and Mary and Shannon (Marannon) Possibly other members. Nomura is the teacher sponser for the club. The respective care givers for the kids are desperate for them to have some kind of normal safe place where they can just be kids. That’s what this club becomes. 

With the constant threat of Gumm-Gumms the caretakers for the trio have to be told about trolls. Nana is confused at first, but digs some old weapons out of her basement to defend herself with. Barbara is protected by Strickler and Nomura (Maybe they start dating? I hadn’t put more thought into that part yet). The Nuñez Family at first try to be supportive, until Gunmar finds out where Claire lives. 

Claire’s family is targeted so often by Gunmar so he can try and take the Shadow Staff that Ophelia kicks Claire out of the house. Ophelia blames Claire for her Enrique getting taken, and for the threats to the life of her son. They disown her, but Claire still makes sure that the house has the strongest magical Wards she can manage. Without her actually being present, Gunmar’s attacks taper off. 

She moves in with Jim. At first Barbara makes her or Jim sleep on the couch, but she would wake up every day to them sharing either Jim’s bed or the couch. They both had severe nightmares from the constant fighting, and needed the comfort of each other’s presence. Barbara realizes that the times are different enough that she stops trying to get them to sleep seperately. 

After Gunmar targets Toby’s Nana. He is terrified that Darci will be killed. So he tells her about Trolls, about Gunmar, and begs her to leave the city. Eventually she agrees and she and her dad move to Oregon. At first Toby is wildly depressed, but eventually he confesses that he loves Jim and Claire and all three of them start dating. 

Jim realizes eventually that just because his body is magically healing, doesn’t mean it is healing properly. Broken bones are healing while improperly set, and other injuries. So a little after he, Toby and Claire are all dating and living together, he has to go through a series of truly awful surgeries to correct the healing. 

His injuries lead to him having an almost permanent limp. He is constantly covered in cuts, scratches and bruises. And at a certain point stops trying to hide the signs of the injuries. Claire gets hurt as well, plus the corrupting influence of the dark magic she uses, causes her own injuries with their obvious signs. Toby creates a disguise spell for his collapsed hammer, so he can use it as a cane. 

Their friends in the GSA start keeping track of their friend’s injuries. Noticing how often Jim has bleeding wounds, how often Claire shivers and flinches at the slightest touch, how Toby has injuries sitting on top of injuries. 

Mary is the one who addresses it as a group matter first. The others have noticed separately but they didn’t know what to do. Steve, is terrifed that they might be being abused, either by Strickler or someone else close to them. 

And here was the point, where I kind of lost it. Like I really like Hurt Comfort. And so far this is like 100% hurt. And I was really struggling for any kind of conclusion, to this story. 

The Reckless Club would desperately search for the cause of their friend’s injuries. Then they would do whatever they could to help. They would provide small moments of safety and comfort for the heroes, while Jim, Claire and Toby fight a war of attrition against Gunmar’s forces. 

I don’t really know what to do with this sort of story from there. At some point I would presume that Jim kills Gunmar? But what would it take to get to that point? Would Merlin still be awoken? Would Morgana eventually be freed? I didn’t really have any direction to go with this so I just left it to work on stories that I did have a story for. 

#yellowmagicalgirl

[ai-katsuu]

Arthur and Gwen last chapter!

read it on ao3 too!

this is one of my favorite chapters! it involves everyone in the group fighting and some backstories are heard as well!

“I don’t like this,” Peter mumbled as he looked around, “This is definitely the creepiest tower I’ve been in and I’ve been alive for over a hundred years.”

The stone tower was definitely bigger on the inside than on the outside. It’s exterior looked like a thin tower only around thirty feet tall, but it’s interior was much bigger. The wide circular room with various doors surrounding them. One could only guess where each of them led to. In front of them was a spiral staircase that led to the second floor. Gwen had suddenly turned back into her human form, which was odd because even when she was indoors on a full moon she would usually transform. It’s as if this tower knew who she was as it radiated with magic.

Arthur stepped forward, “Let’s do our best not to get separated, we-”

“Did you really think I was that stupid?” a voice echoed through the walls. The group looked around on guard as they tried to pinpoint the source. “To let all fourteen of you try and take me on at once?”

The ground started rumbling and Merlin widened his eyes. He whipped his head around to those in close proximity: Arthur, Gwen, and Snow. “Get back! Now!” He didn’t have enough time to finish his sentence as the floor crumbled. They all quickly backed up and pressed themselves against the stone wall as a large middle portion of the floor fell into a dark abyss. Even if they didn’t fall, the small individual ledges they were standing on wouldn’t last for very long.

Hans clicked his tongue in annoyance and looked behind him, “There’s no time to regroup!” he yelled to them, “Our main priority should be getting Merlin to the witch, just go! We’ll catch up to you when we can.” the ground started rumbling once more, “Go, now!” he shouted once more. Each individual entered a door. Some lead to the same room, others were separated from the rest.

“Let’s go, before this gets worse,” Snow called Arthur, Gwen, and Merlin as she ran up the stairs. The four of them followed the same steps, running up the spiral walls. As they reached the second level, the air around them had become humid. Gwen put her hood down and removed her cloak, tying it around her waist.

The second level was similar to the floor below, smooth cemented walls except this one had a platform above them. To the far right was another set of stairs. On the other wings of the tower, Hans, Gretel, Jack, Briar, and Audrey had arrived on a similar level, the other, Pino, Noki, Kio, and Goldie had run into each other.

Peter, on the other hand, had wound up alone in the fourth room. He creased his eyebrows at the scenery.

“I’ve got to find at least one of them...it’s bad if we’re separated the whole time…” he muttered to himself. He walked over to the center of the circular room, holding his hands up behind his ears and closing his eyes. Slowly, he took a deep breath. Peter Pan did have a sharp hearing. It was a trait he picked up from being in Neverland for a hundred years. He turned off all other senses and focused on his hearing.

“...earth...how...sense…”

He picked up a few words from a long distance, the echoes of the circular walls. He turned his head to his right. That was Goldie.

“That must be a fake wall,” he concluded, flying towards that place. But then he heard something else. Another set of footsteps in this room. He immediately stopped himself, glaring at the darkened part of the room as his ears knew exactly where the sound was coming from. He brought his dagger out,

“Who’s there? Come out and let’s get this over with-”

“Peter is that you?”

He widened his eyes. That voice...the voice he thought he’d never hear again. His body suddenly became cold yet he started to sweat. The footsteps became louder as the person stepped into the light, revealing their face. Peter’s heart dropped.

“...Wendy?”

---

“How on earth does this make sense?” Goldie looked to the triplets.

All of them were in shock as from what they saw, the person in front of them looked at them with a worried gaze. The Blue Fairy.

“My children, why do you look so frightened?” she worriedly asked.

“W-we,” Pino stuttered out, “We thought we’d never see you again.”

She let out a warm laugh, “Pino, my dear, I was always with you all. Even when you were all cursed, I was there to guide you.”

Noki let out a short sob as he looked at her. They didn’t have a mother. They loved their father and respected Jiminy, but a motherly figure was never in their lives. The Blue Fairy was the closest person to that, she did give them life after all.  She was beautiful, and exactly how the triplets remembered her. The blonde soft hair and shining blue dress that reflected the stars in the sky.

That was not what Goldie saw at all.

She looked at the triplets in fear, then to the so-called Blue Fairy. It was a rotting corpse. Skin green, thin as skin and bones, it’s jaw broken as it was left hanging by a string. If you looked closer you could see insects crawling all over its rib cage. She wanted to throw up in fear and disgust. But then she looked at the boys.

They were on the verge of tears as they looked at their motherly presence. The corpse stretched its arms.

“Come to me, my children,” it said in a raspy voice.

To the triplets, it was the warm voice that made Kio move forward, hopeful, and longing for a mother's hug. Goldie shook her head as she saw what was about to happen.

“N-no...no! Wait, no!” she rushed forward, and with all her might, she swung her ax in between Kio and the corpse. The triplets, clearly surprised, looked frightened for a bit. They saw the Blue Fairy’s warm smile turn into a scowl.

“She’s not real!” she cried out to them, “Snap out of it! Morgana is using magic to make you see illusions,” she lifted her axe from the ground, “It’s not...real!” she swung her axe to the corpse. Granted it was a horrifying scene to the triplets, seeing Goldie drive an axe into the Blue Fairy, but as soon as her body hit the wall, their vision of her interrupted like static, slowly they saw the decaying green corpse that Goldie saw.

“N-no,” the voice went back and forth from a sweet one to a raspy one, “M-my children...please...h-help me…”

---

“Mama, Papa…” Gretel held her hands over her mouth. Behind her was her brother who kept her steady with his hands on her shoulder. But instead of shock, he frowned at his parents, confused. Indeed he saw them like his sister did, but something was not right. Hans spent months mourning the death of his parents. Alone, isolated, away from his sister. Their death was the biggest turning point in his life.

So how the hell could they be here?

Beside them was Jack who looked concerned as he saw his uncle, more terrified than relieved. He swallowed his throat, “Uncle...I…” he didn’t know what to say. Jack had to banish him from his palace. His greed for riches was getting far out of control, and it was starting to affect the lives of the citizens. He hadn’t known what became of him after that, but now that he was in Morgana’s tower...

Audrey and Briar, on the other hand, saw the same thing as Goldie. The same rotting corpse. Audrey looked at it, slightly concerned and disturbed. Its foul odor could be smelt from all over the room. Briar knew this was a spell, and as disgusted as this was, she turned to Hans with a terrified look. Hans didn’t let go of Gretel, but he stiffly looked at Briar and slowly shook his head. Audrey tensed up at the action. He knew it wasn’t real.

Hans couldn’t kill his parents, not in front of his sister. Even if they weren’t real, the sight might bring her to insanity, he couldn’t do that to her. Hans looked at Audrey and Briar anxiously as they had a wordless conversation. Slowly, they came to an agreement. Briar quietly unsheathed her own sword, quickly before the corpse noticed.

“Jack...turn around,” Audrey mumbled. He looked at her confused until Hans had forcibly put his hand over Gretel’s eyes as she yelled at him, struggling in his grasp. He shot a pleading look at Briar,

“End it quickly, please!” he yelled.

As Briar charged forward, Audrey made a mental note not to tell Jack what the true nature of this spell was yet. He knew it was an illusion afterward, but he didn’t know that it would only show you the illusion of a deceased loved one.

---

“Merlin, I’m sure you know this spell,” Arthur unsheathed Excalibur as he looked at the corpse. Gwen saw the same thing, scrunching her face as she glanced at Snow and Merlin.

“Snow...as real as she might seem to be, that is not your mother,” he took out his spells. Snow shook as Merlin had an arm over her,

“But...she looks so real.” she cried out, “Merlin, I haven’t seen her since I was a child...I…”

“Snow, I would never do anything to hurt you, and that’s why I need you to turn around. Think about it, your mother died years ago, why would she be here?” he told her. She didn’t respond as she finally averted her gaze. Merlin gave her a sympathetic look as he brushed her hair with hands. He looked at Arthur,

“Please,” he said.

Arthur nodded in understanding and charged forward. When Snow heard the slick sound of Excalibur, she closed her eyes harder as Merlin held her tighter in comfort. “It’s done, let’s go,” he said to them.

Merlin quickly ushered Snow towards the staircase, making sure to avert her gaze from her mother's corpse. She didn’t have to see it for the second time in her life.

---

“And John is doing great too. Oh, how I wish you could see him now!” Wendy beamed at Peter.

Peter solemnly smiled at the girl, “What about the Lost Boys?”

Wendy playfully rolled her eyes, “Oh they are as rowdy as ever. It’s like you said, they may be able to age in London, but they’ll never truly grow up.” she giggled. Peter laughed as he sat cross-legged mid-air, just a few feet away from her.

“You know,” she said quietly, “you can see them all again. They're all here right now, why don’t you join us, Peter? We could have all those adventures again!” she excitedly said. “And you could be with me…”

Peter looked shocked. That was what he wanted for many of his years alone. Wendy reached for his hand, “What do you say, Peter?”

He looked at her before letting out a small laugh, “You know I’d do almost anything to relive those memories. But I have my own family now, and someone to call my beloved,” he said softly. Wendy frowned, “And besides…” he looked at her one last time before quickly taking his dagger out and stabbing her in the chest, twisting it as the corpse screamed. “You sure aren’t Wendy.”

Merlin held Snow’s hand as they ran up the stairs. She was quick to recover as her face was now determined. Behind them were Arthur and Gwen and ran with them. “Are you okay?” he asked Gwen to which she nodded,

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.”

The staircase thinned and they wound up in a narrow hallway with several doors. The ground started to shake again. Merlin, highly altered, did not have enough time to react. The floor burst open with plants and vines. Snow and Merlin were pushed into one room, while Arthur and Gwen had separated into two different rooms. He called out for her once more before the vines slammed his door shut. There was barely any light in the room, he could only hear the sounds of slithering in the dark. He took Excalibur out and began to fight off death itself.

In the other room, Gwen had tried her best to transform into her wolfette form. But it wasn’t working the way she wanted it to. “Come on, come on!" she stared at her hands. "Of all the times you decide not to come out, why must it be now?!” she cried out. She backed herself into a corner, terrified of the water that started filling the room towards her. But then...she suddenly felt calm…

A song. It was sung by a beautiful voice. She looked around the room, but could only see water flowing. It didn’t matter though. Oh...what was she just doing? Why was she here? Nevermind that. The water looked nice, and after everything she’d been through, it might be nice to take a relaxing dip underwater. The song had such a nice melody...she wanted to hear more of it. Slowly, she walked down into the water, knee-deep, and about to give in.

Then the wall broke, and light reached the room,

“Get her to Arthur or Merlin, quickly! And cover your ears!” Audrey yelled out.

Jack suddenly appeared right next to Gwen, causing her to jump a bit and snap out of her trance. Oh god, she was just going to drown herself there. “Got it,” he looked at Gwen, “Sorry to startle you...again.” he offered an apologetic smile. He lifted her up in his arms and covered themselves with his cloak.

Audrey looked back and made sure they escaped before looking towards the dead vines. She reached into her belt and uncapped the vials of water, hovering her hands over them as the water flowed out, forming into a thin sword. The water on the floor morphed into blobs that resembled beautiful women who scowled at her.

“I’ve dealt with Sirens like you before, and I can do it again,” she said.

In Merlin and Snow’s room, more vicious vines attacked them. “Hey wanna know something funny? This reminds me of the time I fought that mirror.” Merlin zapped a vine with his magic.

Snow grunted as she tore them in half with her bare hands, “Merlin, this is no time for reminiscing!”

In the corner of the room, Kio, Peter, Pino, and Gretel had rushed in. “Merlin, get out of here!” Kio yelled and shot the bigger vines. Peter grabbed his hand and threw him upwards so he could get a better shot. After firing he caught him and Kio threw him to the plants as he cut them with his dagger.

“Snow! Duck!” Pino shouted towards her. She moved her head and the Pino’s arrow just missed her by a hair as he shot a vine.

“I’m gonna blow this room up, there’s too many of them.” Gretel said, “Peter, get Merlin to the other side.”

He nodded and grabbed Merlin, “Snow will be fine. She’s more than capable of handling these situations.” he assured her. Merlin let out a small chuckle,

“I know.”

In Arthur’s room, Goldie swung her axe towards the plants. Noki and Arthur fought side by side as they tried to look for an exit. Goldie stood up and held her axe, nearing her limit as she was the one who fought the hardest. She noticed a few cracks on the wall and pushed her body to get over there and ram her axe into the wall, breaking it and making an exit.

“Arthur…” she breathed out as she turned around, “Go...Gwen and Merlin are-agh!”

A vine had wrapped around her ankle as she was pulled to a corner.

“Goldie!” Noki yelled out and ran towards her, shooting the plants with an arrow. He looked back at Arthur, “Go hurry!” Arthur nodded as he ran towards the exit.

Jack was able to sneak and dodge past the vines in the hallway. It was a run that took a while, but he burst open the last door. He had to stomp his heel on the ground as the door opened to a small ledge. A few feet away from it was another platform, but it was separated by a wide gap that seemed to lead into a pit of darkness. Jack clicked his tongue.

“Sorry, Gwen. I’m gonna have to throw you to the other side,” he said, removing his cloak. Wait for Merlin and Arthur there.” Jack looked back and saw more vines approaching him. “Hang on tight, and reach for the ledge when I say so.” he ran towards the opposite end and jumped, “Now!” Gwen let go and reached for the platform, pulling herself up.

But Jack’s hand slipped on the rocky edge of the landing and cut his hand. He inhaled sharply as Gwen turned around and saw what had happened. He was now dangling on the ledge.

“Ja-!”

“Go!” he yelled at her, “I’ll be fine trust me!”

“No! I can’t-!”

“Gwen!” Merlin said. She looked back and saw him and Arthur, who was exhausted. Although she was hesitant she looked back and forth.

“Trust me,” he knowingly smiled at her, “I’ll see you when this is over. Now go!” Gwen looked at him one last time before nodding and running to the two males.

Jack, now getting tired, let go of the ledge in exhaustion as he fell into the dark pit. However, his small smile remained as he knew that he wouldn’t fall for much longer. Something wet was wrapped around his waist. He stopped momentarily before he was pulled up by a whip of water. Audrey grunted as she pulled him out and threw him towards the vines as he cut them with the sharp edges of his ring.

On the other side, Arthur, Merlin, and Gwen neared the top of the tower. “We’re almost there,” Merlin said to them. When they reached the last door, it was a relatively smaller room. Circular, but much smaller than the room of the illusioned corpse. The ground shook again, but not because of plants, rather, it was someone's footsteps. Whoever owned these footsteps was massive.

At the top ledge of the room, the woman that they had been looking for was here. “So, you’re Merlin?” Morgana looked at him. “Well, this looks like a nice reunion, Arthur the royal with his beloved Guenivere and wizard, Merlin. And here’s the evil Morgana, this villain of this story,” she said mockingly.

“If you’re going to keep talking I might as well end you now.” Merlin looked up at her and generated electricity.

“Merlin, I’ll fight.” she said, “But as for you two,” she looked at Arthur and Gwen, “You might as well have fun with my pets. They’ve been getting restless over the years and they’ve been longing for a fight.” the footsteps they had heard got louder, and a giant beast stepped out of the shadows. He was a mix of man, ogre, giant, and animal. “This is Grendel. And over here…”

Morgana looked to her left and an old man, who seemed to have lost his senses, stepped out. He had several keys attached to what seemed to be a necklace of human hair around his neck.  “This here is Bluebeard. Go and play will you?” with that Morgana landed the first blow on Merlin, who dodged and made a counter-attack.

Arthur faced Grendel, successfully cutting off whatever massive body part he could, starting with his giant fingers. Gwen backed up against the wall in caution, but it wasn’t long before she got startled as Bluebeard appeared next to her.

“Young lady...I am here to help…” he coughed out. He gave out one specific key from his necklace and handed it to her. “Here is the key to the exit.” he gestured towards a door behind her that definitely was not there before. “Hurry, you must open the door!” he smiled.

But it wasn’t long before a sword came in between them, Briar’s heel crushing the key as she swung her sword at the old man who hissed at her. Gwen gasped as she fell back. Briar stood in front of her and positioned her sword towards him,

“That’s Bluebeard. Open that door and you would’ve ended up like all of his past wives.” she looked at the necklace of hair. “I spent a lot of time reading about you in the woods. I’m gonna kill you right here, right now.” she seriously looked at Bluebeard.

On Arthur’s end, Hans had used his wok to pin Grendel down. "Arthur! On me, now!" Arthur stepped on Hans’ back as a way to jump and slay the demon from above. In the past two minutes, it had already beaten him up enough times by slamming him into walls. As he raised Excalibur, his leg cramped and he almost lost his balance, but not before pushing forward as he reminded himself who he was doing this for.

With a mighty swing, Arthur decapitated Grendel with one clean cut. On the other end of the room, Morgana screamed as his head fell to the floor. Merlin used this as an opportunity to make a whip of electricity and capture her once and for all. Bluebeard had just been slain by Briar as well, and the vines, Sirens, the Corpse she had sent to the lower floors were all defeated. About three-fourths of her power was gone.

“I don’t understand...how were you all able to defeat me?” she huffed out.

“Tell us how to break Gwen’s curse.” Merlin threatened as he increased the volts of electricity. Morgana groaned in pain as she yelled out,

“There is no way!” Merlin stopped to let her speak. Slowly, she regained her voice, “I already told the swordsman...there is no way to break the curse…but,” she said as soon as she saw Merlin’s face harden, “I can..make it more bearable for her.” she reached her hand out to Gwen who was next to Briar, but Arthur stepped in front of her.

“You’re not casting any more spells on her,” he said seriously.

Merlin shook his head, “She said there’s a way to make it easier for her.”

“Take it or leave it, I don’t care either way,” Morgana said exhaustedly.

Arthur looked at her one more time before stepping aside. Morgana lifted her hand once more, “Step aside, girl.” she looked at Briar who did as she told. Gwen put her hands to her chest as she stood cautiously. A red and grey aura began surrounding her. A familiar warmth was felt as the colors surrounded her. The light dimmed down, and Morgana, who cast her last spell, fell to the ground.

“Are you sure you’re okay with it?” Arthur asked her. They walked through the woods as the sun began to rise. Gwen nodded with a small smile on her face as she looked at the setting full moon.

“The power to control my forms is more than enough. I’ve come not to hate my other but rather to accept it, it has become a part of who I am. But more than that,” she smiled at him, “I’m so happy you’re okay. I don’t know what I would’ve done with myself if you or the others had gotten killed.” she looked back at the camp where everybody was sitting down, relieved that they were all right.

Goldie and Arthur had taken the most damage, but Noki took care of her as best as he could, and Gwen did her best to care for Arthur. Audrey had tended to Jack’s hand, and Snow bandaged Merlin from his fight with Morgana. The rest were not injured and helped with serving food, all happy that everyone was okay.

Arthur laughed, “My Lady, it will be many many years before that happens. But until then, I swear to always be by your side.” he said truthfully.

Gwen giggled “If that’s the case, then I hope to protect you as well.” she stopped walking as Arthur curiously looked at her, “You’ve already done so much for me, and I want to do the same for you...so…”

She leaned down and placed her lips against his. He didn’t have enough time to react as he closed his eyes on instinct. The familiar golden aura shone for the seventh and last time. When Gwen stepped back and opened her eyes, she saw a prince much bigger than her, looking at her with a pure lovestruck gaze.

#red shoes #rsatsd #rsat7d #red shoes and the 7 dwarfs #red shoes and the seven dwarfs #red shoes merlin #red shoes arthur #red shoes movie #red shoes snow #red shoes gwen #red shoes ever after

[bitsandbobsofwriting]

The aftermath of Merlin snapping, and yelling at Arthur in the middle of the forest;

Arthur pushes for change, the gang takes bets on when Merthur will happen, and someone, somewhere, is grumpy.

Part 2 of Merlin’s Angry Outburst. 

Part 1   Part 3   Part 4   Part 5

Once Arthur has a first draft of the repeal, the first people he brings in on it (with Merlin’s approval, of course) are the 5 knights, Gwen, Gaius, and Morgana.

(Morgana, who later that evening comes back to Arthur's chamber in tears (Merlin is also there) to reveal her magic, and thank him for not being Uther.) 

All of them enthusiastically agree, after only a little conversation.

Elyan and Leon are the most... dubious, but only because of the practical factor, they don't disagree with the actual repeal.

After months of the gang working in secret, they reveal their best draft to the council. At least half the council are new members that Arthur appointed, the rest are left over from Uther’s time.

They argue back and forth for a while, half vs half. A few of the older members, who were around before the purge, slowly start changing their minds.

In the end, it takes them maybe a month to get a majority, and Arthur overrules the remaining opposition. He is King after all, technically, he doesn’t even have to have a council.

Days after the agreement is reached, Arthur goes out personally to collect a few specific Druids, who had been waiting just outside the border for the go ahead.

It takes maybe another month to go through all the laws thoroughly, changing and editing and altering what needs to be altered. With the help of Arthur's close advisors on the political aspects, and the help of the Druids, Merlin, and Gaius, on the magical aspects (what should be allowed freely, what should be monitored, and what should remain fully banned).

The city celebrates when the announcement is made, they all loved the new King anyway, and had been overjoyed with the drop in executions, and deliberate ignoring of small instances of magic.

After a feast to celebrate the new found freedom among the people, the gang gathers once more, in private, and Merlin tells a shortened version of the story he'd told Arthur all those months ago.

None of them are that surprised (Gaius, Morgana, and Lancelot already knew, of course).

If they hadn't suspected Merlin of being a sorcerer before this whole thing started (Leon, Gwaine, and Gwen definitely suspected) , then they had certainly begun to in the last few months. They cheer when Merlin finishes telling them "just how often I've saved your oblivious arses" .

They cheer even louder when Arthur announces that he would be made court sorcerer, and it would be made official in a ceremony before the week ended.

There are no cheers when Morgana stands.

Curious eyes land on her, probably due to how terrified she looks, but the small encouraging nods and little smiles she gets from her brother (her Brother), Merlin, and Gwen, give her the strength she needs to tell everyone of her magic as well.

They see she is frightened, they imagine how difficult it must have been, being at first Uther’s ward, and then his daughter. They smile gently, and she receives hugs a plenty. Once all the congratulations are out of the way, she sits back down next to Gwen, still shaky and full of adrenaline, but happy.

She spends the remainder of the group’s quiet celebrations with her hand gripped in Gwen's under the table.

(Read this how you want, I personally envision it as the start of something)

So the days draw on, Merlin is announced Court Sorcerer, Arthur hires another manservant and gives Merlin a large set of chambers in the same hallways as Arthur's, complete with all the books on magic Arthur can find, and several of the magical artefacts that had previously been kept locked away (Merlin and Arthur are the only ones who are able to gain access to the room, something magicky I guess).

(No one mentions that that corridor is supposed to be for royalty only. Leon figures they're bound to realise that they're in love with each other any day now, and then Merlin will practically be royalty anyway so... might as well cut out the middle bit of having to shuffle chambers again later on).

The kingdom is prospering, and for months after the initial announcement, and implementations of the new laws, sorcerers and nobles from all over Albion, visit Camelot, to give congratulations to the King.

They give gifts and provide knowledge.

The Druids, however, are a slightly different story.

The ones who had been helping with the paperwork, had been... odd(?) around Merlin. But they respected his wish to keep all of that under wraps, or at least until it was announced publicly.

Arthur and Gaius know the whole Emrys story. Lancelot and Morgana know bits of it... but other than that... as far as anyone is concerned, the newly promoted Court Sorcerer is just another wizard.

The new Druids entering the kingdom are paying brief respects to the Forever King (I mean... at this point, he's still only King of Camelot... which is what he was before the magic ban repeal), before staring in reverence at the Court Sorcerer stood by his side.

They respect his wishes to keep the worshipping and gift giving to a minimum, though they still come to him for requests of miracles and ask him to perform druid ceremonies (blessings and name-givings and weddings and funerals (though they prefer to call them celebrations of life, rather than commiserations of death) and such).

Merlin can only brush off so many displays of such awe before the rest of The Gang demands to know what’s up, at which point he has to come clean about the whole... “Most Powerful Warlock To Ever Walk The Earth” thing.

Much to Merlin’s chagrin (and everyone else's amusement) the Druids still insist on calling him Emrys. The stubborn ones sometimes even go for "My Lord Emrys", which gets them a scowl from Merlin (and barely concealed laughter from everyone else).

Maybe... later on... when Morgana is more comfortable with her magic, after a few months practicing with Merlin (with a supportive Gwen Always at her side) , she is announced as the Court Seer.

Merlin had never had much luck with prophetic visions, but once Morgana’s fear died down, once she learned to let it flow, and breathe through it, the visions come easier, and kinder.

She stops seeing only visions of doom, and worst case scenarios, instead she has dreams of the many paths the future may take.

She does not panic when a path seems grim and dark, for she has a King and a Warlock and Gwen, by her side. Always. And they work through the future together.

So the ban has been repealed officially for around 6 months.

Arthur is a couple months away from completing his second year as King. And he and Merlin are still beating around the bush.

The betting pool for when they’ll finally get together has been growing bigger and bigger. Practically the whole castle is in on it now, with Gwen and Morgana as the ring leaders. Whoever wins... will be very lucky.

(It's Leon in the end, he pays attention, and he know what his boys are like. But he's a noble and has no need for the money, he pays for a few rounds of drinks and donates the rest to one of children's homes in the lower town).

But the war comes first.

~

Camelot has been prospering, and has many supporters throughout Albion, but one of the kingdoms, it doesn't matter which, you decide, does NOT like this.

Scouts and small patrols have been needling Camelot’s borders for months now, and Arthur and his Council (and Inner Council) have been making quiet preparations. They know that some sort of... something, is coming soon.

Especially when Morgana begins to dream of battles and blood and lightening.

They prepare for, and expect, a full scale war, but they hope for some negotiations and a peace treaty with the opposition.

Their hopes are dashed, when a messenger is escorted into the throne room, wearing The Opposition’s colours, with a letter.

Said letter is an angry rebuttal of everything Camelot stands for, full of accusations of abandoning tradition, and spitting in the face of great leaders, of which this soft boy-king should NOT be counted as. 

At the end, there was an official declaration of war.

The messenger boy was obviously scared to death, and once Arthur read the P.S, which invited Arthur to torture and/or execute him to the whatever extent he wants, he understood why. Without any hesitation, he offers the boy a job in the stables, a new wardrobe of clothes, and a servant’s bed in the castle.

After the official council meeting on the matter, setting up war committees, laying out contingency plans, organising the distribution of emergency evacuation plans, and discussing potential aid that could be requested from allies, Arthur pulls the gang together, for their own meeting.

“We knew this was coming, and there is no need to panic yet. Our outer borders are well patrolled, and we’re still getting up to date reports. The city walls hold strong, but I want to send out patrols to warn the villages of what’s coming. Start closer to the border, and work our way in. Leon?”

“My Lord, I have teams prepared for exactly that already, I just need to give the word and they’ll go.”

“Good. Morgana, I need you to try and keep focusing your visions, if we have even a small idea of how they might try to initiate the first battle, it’ll be a huge advantage.”

“Me and Merlin have been practising some new techniques to control where and when I can see, we’ll write everything down, and ask the Druids if they’ve seen anything as well.”

Arthur holds in a smile at the confidence in her voice. He is unendingly proud of how far his sister had come, and made a mental note to tell her that when all this was over.

“Brilliant, keep me in the loop. Gwen, when we’re done here, go and let the forgery know, the Royal Household will pay them extra to push out as much long range ammunition as they can. Arrows and crossbow bolts, we need as many as they can produce.” Gwen nods, and Arthur finally looks towards Merlin:

“And Merlin, I need you to be ready. Don’t wear yourself out too much in the next few weeks, I need you in good condition, if we’re to win this with minimal casualties-”

He glances over at Morgana before he continues:

“If the two of you could also ask the Druids if they have any volunteer healers. Make sure they know they aren’t obligated to come, but any help in the infirmaries would be greatly appreciated.” Morgana nods once more, as does Merlin, before he speaks:

“There’s a camp a couple hours ride outside the city at the moment, we’ll head out at first light-” He pauses and closes his eyes for a second, tilting his head, before looking to Morgana:

“They’re expecting us.”

Arthur addresses the room again:

“Right. I think that’s all for now, anyone have anything to add?”

Gaius responds after a moment:

“My Lord, if I could make a request for a few servants to help me set up supplies for the infirmary? Extensive preparations will need to be made to ensure that I have all I’ll need. Preferably people with rough herbal knowledge, if at all possible.”

Arthur nods straight away, responding:

“Yes, of course, I’ll ask the Housekeeper and the Steward who they can spare this evening, and they’ll be ready for you in the morning. Anything else?” At the silence in the room, Arthur tells everyone to get to work.

Leon marches straight down to the training grounds (Lancelot, Gwaine, Percival, and Elyan following him) to ring the summoning bell and inform the knights of the developments, and their tasks.

Gwen heads straight to the forgery (her and Elyan still oversee work there, but they have employees (and a few trainees) to run it) to give the Kings order.

Gaius shuffles out, and makes his way back to his quarters, already making mental lists of ingredients needed, and work to be done.

Arthur, Morgana, and Merlin are left, the royal siblings thinking to themselves, and Merlin thinking to someone else. Arthur contemplates that the whole mental link thing he had going on with the Druids was extremely useful.

Both his and Morgana’s thoughts were interrupted by Merlin huffing, and clenching his fists as he opens his eyes, obviously unhappy with whatever was said:

“Merlin?” From Morgana has the Court Sorcerer looking up from scowling at the table. He replies after wiping the frown off his face:

“Oh, it’s fine. They just made a... stupid suggestion is all. Don’t worry about it.”

“Stupid? Doesn’t sound like the Druids. What was it?”

Merlin looks mildly uncomfortable at that, and replies slowly:

“It... doesn’t matter. I’ll tell you another time. It’s late, you should practice some meditation and head to sleep, no potions tonight. And remember to keep some parchment and a quill by your bed, so you can scribble down anything you see-”

Merlin stands abruptly and heads towards the door:

“-I’m going to check the wards on the outer wall, and push a little more energy into the wells. I’ll see you both bright an early.” With that, Merlin heads out the room swiftly.

Arthur looks to his sister questioningly, but she shrugs as she responds:

“Who knows. “I’ll tell you later” means he doesn’t want you to know, OR he’s hoping I’ll forget because he doesn’t want either of us to know. He’s right though, I should meditate for a while-”

Morgana stands at this:

“- hopefully I’ll see you before we head off, if not, I suppose it’ll be dinner in the evening. Good night, brother.” Morgana leaves the room gracefully, heading in the direction of her chambers.

Arthur thinks for only a moment, before rushing off, catching up with Merlin as he readied his horse, preparing for the journey to the outer walls:

“I’ll come with you. I find I quite enjoy watching you do magic, and to be perfectly honest, I could do with some fresh air to help me think.”

Arthur pretends to ignore the slight blush that dusts Merlin’s cheeks, and readies his own horse. The two of them ride out of the stables and make the journey down the cobbled roads in comfortable silence, side by side.

They take their time on the journey, and the 15 minutes of companionable silence is finally broken by Arthur, who looks at Merlin curiously, as he says:

“So what did they suggest?”

Merlin looks up sharply at that, broken from his deep train of thought as he dumbly replies “What?”

“The Druids. What was the stupid suggestion?” Merlin’s eyes widen at that, and he blushes once more as he looks determinedly forward:

“Oh. That. I told you, it doesn’t-”

“Merlin...”

“Oh fine! They suggested that I... that I forge a mental link with you. Like the one I have with them.” The sorcerer purses his lips at that, and continues to avoid Arthur’s gaze:

“You can do that? Well... would it be such a bad idea? I mean we aren’t going to be able to meet and discuss things as often as I’d like through this whole ordeal. AND you’re basically the Kingdom’s powerhouse, I’m sort of relying on your magical know-how here. Surely it wouldn’t be a bad thing? For us to be able to converse across the battle fields?” 

Arthur, in an effort to not be hurt, reminds himself that he doesn’t know all that much about magic, and it very well could be a stupid suggestion, instead of one that Merlin is just personally opposed to.

Merlin, in response, looks to Arthur in great shock, before sighing and looking down to his horses mane:

“It.... is possible. And fairly easy, technically. But it would be painful, AND permanent. I wouldn’t be able to undo it after we won. And a temporary connection takes far too much energy to maintain, even for a short time. I just figured you wouldn’t want me in your head for the rest of our lives.” He tries to inject a little humour into his words, but it falls flat, and he just seems sad.

Arthur pretends he doesn’t notice however, and responds quickly:

“How painful are we talking? I mean I’ve been hurt pretty badly before. And... how exactly does it work? Would we be able to read each other’s mind constantly, without the other knowing? Or what?”

Merlin raises his eyebrows in shock at that, and his answer comes out slowly as he looks at Arthur:

“Like... a really bad headache? Imagine the hardest you’ve ever been hit, without passing out. It would last for a few minutes after the connection is initially forged, but would fade slowly over the next day or so. And no. Once the connection is established we wouldn’t be in each other’s head all the time, we would just be able to sort of... project our voices to one another. Other thoughts would be safe, even if you were thinking about me, I wouldn’t hear it unless you were thinking to me... if that makes sense.” 

By the end of his explanation, he’s looking nervously at the King, who is deep in thought:

“Hmm. Ok. I... only if you agree but... it might not be a bad idea. Even after the war is over. There have definitely been times where I’ve needed your opinion on something but you’ve been elsewhere, or we’ve been in the presence of someone else. Of course we’ve been fine so far, if you don’t want to, but-”

Merlin interrupts him, speaking quickly:

“I’m fine with it. I agree, it would be useful. So... I can bring what we need back from the camp tomorrow?”

Arthur nods firmly:

“Yes. The sooner the better, we can do it tomorrow evening, if that’s enough time for you?” Merlin once again looks shocked at this, as Arthur stares at him:

“Oh! Yeah, Yes. That’s fine. Like I said, it’s not particularly difficult, and I can ask Gaius to prepare us something for the pain during the day. Are you... are you sure? It is Permanent.”

Arthur rolls his eyes and huffs:

“Yes, you said that already Merlin. Are you sure?”

Merlin nodded his head decidedly, and spoke confidently:

“Yes. You’re right, it’s not a bad idea. Come on, if we hurry, we’ll make it to the walls, and then to the main well, and then back to the castle, before dark.”

The pair of them hurry their horses, and after another 10 minutes of comfortable silence, they finally reach the City Gates.

The guards give a quick bow, and The King and The Court Sorcerer jump off their horses before handing the reigns to one of the Gate stablehands.

Arthur (and the guards) watch in barely concealed wonder as Merlin presses his hands against the rock of the wall, and closes his eyes.

The golden glow can still be seen from below his eyelids, and he hums slightly as he frowns in concentration, seeming to push into the wall.

Arthur sees a short of... sheen, ripple across the rock, and extend into the sky. Merlin steps back and nods, admiring his handy work:

“They’re holding strong, I’ve extended the height as well. Kilgharrah and Aithusa should be the only ones able to get over it without alerting me now, from the air at least-”

Merlin heads to retake his horse, Arthur following him, before he continues:

“Though I still want to check the tunnels again at some point in the next few days.”

“Of course. Relax Merlin, it’s barely begun, and the borders still hold strong. We’ve plenty of time before things kick off in any way.” He makes sure to speak quietly. A public announcement hasn’t been made yet, and it would be bad if rumours started spreading before The King had time to put together a proper disclosure.

Merlin nods distractedly, and urges his horse to go faster as he heads towards the main well, in the town square. It’s late, not long until sunset, so there shouldn’t be many, if any, people there. Arthur speaks again:

“Why are we visiting the well? I wasn’t aware of any problems?”

“There aren’t any, but once the announcement is made, and once the outer villages are told what’s happening, we’ll have hundreds, probably thousands, of people flock to the city for safety. I just want to make sure we’re prepared for such an influx, and boost our water levels a little.”

Arthur nods at his response, but doesn’t say anything. He chooses instead to admire the man Merlin had become. He held himself differently, more strong, confident in who he was. Just like he had back when he was still a manservant, he served Arthur, and his people, above and beyond his job description. Merlin took upon himself, not only the politics he was supposed to oversee, but the personal safety of both the King, and every Camelot citizen, and he did it all with an alarming amount of grace.

Arthur sometimes catches himself thinking that it was almost as if Merlin was built to be a king. He may not like the spotlight, but he was a protector, and leader, unlike anything Arthur had ever seen before.

“I don’t think I ever thanked you, Merlin. It feels like years ago now, that you yelled at me in a forest.” He says it with a grin, but Merlin flinches. He continues before The Sorcerer interrupts him though:

“Really Merlin. Thank you. You were right, I would’ve got there in the end, but it wasn’t fair for people to suffer in the mean time, and you took the fall in their place. You’re a hero to your people... and to me. You should be proud of your accomplishments, I know I am.” 

Arthur resists the urge to duck his head as Merlin looks at him in bewilderment, a definite flush on his cheeks as he replies:

“I... thank you, Arthur. I always had faith in you-” Merlin begins to grin before he continues:

“-and besides, someone had to knock you down a peg. Perhaps you should hire someone to take you into the forest and yell at you every once in a while.”

Arthur laughs at that, and Merlin tries to push down the blush as Arthur responds:

“Now Merlin, why on earth would I hire someone for such a job, when I already have you?”

Merlin chuckles as he answers:

“Yeah, and don’t you forget it, My Lord. Hold the horses, I’ll just be a minute.” With that, Arthur realises they’ve made it to the well, and dismounts as Merlin has, holding both of the horses reigns as he watches Merlin approach the well.

The Sorcerer crouches down, and once again closes his eyes in concentration as he presses his hands into the stone of the well. The glow is a little less bright this time, but Arthur admires it nonetheless.

Merlin finishes quickly, and gathers his horse from Arthur once more, nodding towards the castle.

Arthur follows as Merlin hurries towards the looming building. He wasn’t sure why he was in such a rush, but he only begins questions it when Merlin hurriedly hands the horses of to a stablehand, and continues to run up the castle steps.

Arthur can only just keep up with Merlin, not having the breath to ask him what’s wrong, before Merlin suddenly comes to a stop, catching his breath for a moment to go through a door leading to the highest balcony on the West of the castle:

“Merlin... what.... what are you-”

Merlin wordlessly interrupts The King as he points to the skyline, the sun only a few minutes away from touching the horizon.

There’s not a cloud in sight, and the sky is painted in oranges and pinks in front of them, bleeding into deep purples and blues behind the castle.

Merlin finally mutters, not looking away from the sunset:

“Call me a girl all you want Arthur, but nothing compares to this. It’s beautiful, I come to watch it whenever I’ve got the time.”

Arthur had only glanced briefly at the sunset before looking back at Merlin in wonder, a fond smile on his face (not that Merlin would notice).

He stares at the side of Merlin’s face, the orange sky making the gold in his eyes look even brighter, and the glare of the fading sun making his hair shine. A gentle breeze has Merlin shiver slightly, and Arthur’s smile widens as he responds, so quietly he’s not even sure if Merlin hears him:

“Hmm. Beautiful.” He doesn’t look away.

~

THIS IS COMPLETED! All 5 parts have been posted:)

If y’all want my thoughts on anything specific let me know✌️

#merlin #bbc merlin #merthur #arthur #king arthur #the knights of camelot #the knights know about merlins magic #arthur knows about merlins magic #court sorcerer merlin #merlin/arthur #sir leon #leon #sir percival #percival #sir lancelot #lancelot #sir elyan #elyan #sir gwaine #gwaine #morgana #good morgana #gwen #guinevere #fluff #merlin is a bamf #bamf merlin #powerful merlin

[aspoonofsugar]

Tales of Arcadia: Three Rules

The first two installments of Tales of Arcadia explore similar themes, but they do so in almost opposite ways to the point that they become complementary.

It is, in fact, easy to see that the premises of the two shows are basically opposite.

On one hand, Trollhunters has a group of normal kids discover the magical and the strange. On the other hand 3 Below has three aliens trying to blend in human society. Both shows explore what it means to be humans, but the trollhunters do so by comparing their humanity with something different only to be enriched by it, whereas the akiridians do so by by underlining the weirdness of humans, but also by finding value in it.

The complementarity of the two shows appears evident thanks to multiple aspects and details which I will try to highlight in the meta. However, before starting I would like to underline that both shows have their protagonists follow three rules.

In Trollhunters the three rules are as it follows:

1) Always be afraid.

2) Always finish the fight.

3) When in doubt, always kick them in the gronk-nuks.

In 3 Below there are different rules:

1) You must prepare for change.

2) You must embrace your mistakes.

3) When in doubt, play with your phones.

It is obvious that these two sets of rules share a common function in the two stories which is to shed light on some of the main themes. In Trollhunters the themes explored are about living with and accepting what are considered by society negative or repressed emotions like fear and violence, whereas in 3 Below the themes are about understanding the strength of society like communication, the possibility of making mistakes and being forgiven and the ability to change.

Since we are at it, I really like that both lists have the third rule be apparently played for laughs and then have it be extremely important in key situations. As a matter of fact kicking people in the nuks in Trollhunters and using cellphones in 3 Below have been useful more than once. In short, the third rule of both lists is a practical application of the more abstract themes presented by the other two rules.

I will try to better elaborate both this point and others in this analysis.

THE TROLLHUNTER: WHY A TROLL WHO HUNTS TROLLS?

In Trollhunters our protagonists who are a group of normal teenagers discover that under their feet, in the underground of their apparent normal town, there is a world full of strange creatures who can be both extraordinary and dangerous.

The world of the trolls could be a representation of the jungian shadow.

Here is a definition taken from wikipedia:

In Jungian psychology, the "shadow", "Id", or "shadow aspect/archetype" may refer to (1) an unconscious aspect of the personality which the conscious ego does not identify in itself, or (2) the entirety of the unconscious, i.e., everything of which a person is not fully conscious. In short, the shadow is the unknown side.

Trollmarket is what lies beneath Arcadia, so it is a part of the city its inhabitants are unaware of and initially don’t want to face. What is more, trolls themselves are creatures which can’t stay in the sun and so they are beings who can only survive in shadows. They are also characterized by attributes like strength superior to the one possessed by humans and, generally speaking, their world is a very violent one and this is proven by some of their traditions:

In order to become a good trollhunter Jim must learn to live with fear and to finish his fights.

What is good about these rules is that they are not accepted as always true and there is no black and white view:

Fear is necessary and Jim must not block it out completely like he did in Young Atlas, but at the same time he should also control it since if he doesn’t he risks to be overcome by it. The idea of not being frozen by fear is explored also in 3 Below:

In this series as well, the idea is not that one can stop being scared, but that they must live with fear and insecurities. However, 3 Below’s approach is far more traditional than Trollhunters when it comes to fear, since the former simply underlines the necessity to overcome it, while the latter spends time showing its usefulness other than it being unavoidable.

The same could be said about the rule of finishing the fight. We see Jim discussing this rule and refusing to apply it blindly. For example, he doesn’t kill Chompsky and Draal and this leads them to become precious allies. However, as the series progresses it is made clear that Jim can’t hope to solve all his conflicts this way:

Jim’s first kill is not something which is glossed over, but it is given enough focus to make it clear that this is something Jim is not used to and something he will have to struggle with in his journey to become the trollhunter. Once again, killing enemies is something which happens in 3 Below as well, but it is not given the same focus and Aja doesn’t think about how she should finish a fight.

This is because Trollhunters is a story which deals with the shadow much more than 3 Below is.

This is proven by many details, like the amount of episodes which explore this specific theme (Young Atlas, Where is my mind?, Hero with a Thousand Faces, Mistrial and Error, The Exorcism of Claire Nuñez, A House Divided and Jimhunters are just some examples) and also by its hero and heroine’s paralleled journeys.

Jim and Claire have very similarly structured arcs.

First of all they have a similar flaw:

They think that it is all on them and this leads them to try to shoulder too much responsibility in an attempt to help others. For example, Jim thinks that, as the trollhunter, he should enter the Darklands alone to save Enrique, whereas Claire thinks it is her fault Enrique was kidnapped in the first place. Of course both ideas are wrong and this sense of wanting to shoulder it all alone actually creates bigger problems.

Jim entered the Darklands alone to avoid putting his friends in danger, but in the end they had still to enter that dimension in order to save him.

Similarly, Claire’s willingness to sacrifice herself for the trolls let Morgana possess her.

The two situations are clearly paralleled and Claire herself mentions Jim’s previous sacrifice when she is about to make hers:

The parallelism between their two arcs becomes even more obvious if one thinks about it in the following way.

At the end of a season (season 1 for Jim and season 2 for Claire) they sacrifice themselves ignoring their comrades’ prayers not to do it:

As a result, they both end up trapped in a reign representative of the shadow:

And they need to be saved by their comrades in episode 5 of the following season.

What is more they both integrate symbolically with their shadow:

And once they do they defeat the character representative of their darkest side (Gunmar for Jim and Morgana for Claire).

I would like to explore some of the above mentioned situations more.

First of all, it is interesting to highlight that Claire and Jim’s weapons are associated respectively with shadow and with daylight. After all, we are talking of a weapon called Shadow Staff and of an amulet which works with the words daylight is mine to command.

Because of this, Claire’s arc being connected to an integration with the shadow appears obvious.

First of all, her power is not simply called after the shadow, but it works by channelling negative emotions to open up portals. The first negative emotion Claire uses is rage, but later on she changes and starts using fear:

Once again, the first rule is at work here and Claire’s powers are an example of negative emotions being used in a positive way by the person who has them.

However, it becomes clear that indulging too much in negative feelings can let the person be engulfed by them which is what metaphorically happens to Claire when she is possessed by Morgana.

It is interesting to say that while she is possessed Claire refuses to aknowledge the problem:

The above frame of her finding the missing signs under the bed is especially telling imo. The idea of having monsters under the bed is something strictly associated with childhood fears:

Like the movie Monsters Inc shows perfectly, once a child faces it, their nightmare disappears. In Claire’s case however, she refuses to face what is happening to her and chooses to metaphorically hide it under the bed. She does so because she prefers to maintain the strong and independent persona she has rather than showing vulnerability and ask for help. This makes so that the situation gets worse and she ends up trapped in the Shadow Realm:

Here, Claire doesn’t have a shadow because her own shadow (which is symbolized by Morgana) has taken over.

So, Claire needs to be rescued by Toby and Jim. It is interesting that Jim and Toby find Claire in an illusory house while she is busy attending her daily chores as if nothing happened. All in all, this is the same behaviour she assumed about her problems after having opened the portal in Trollmarket. However, Toby and Jim are able to communicate with her and to make her snap out from this way of coping with her current situation. Once she does, she is able to fight Morgana herself:

It is interesting that she does so with Suzy Snooze which is an object strictly intertwined with her (it is what Toby and Jim use to find her) and her childish side (which is a vulnerable side of the self by definition and so one she tries to ignore).

After all, Morgana refers to Claire as her child many times, so, in the above scene, Claire freeing herself can be seen as her growing up and conquering her shadow at once.

After defeating Morgana, Claire is able to acquire some traits of the sorceress and to make them her own:

Not only she becomes the true master of the staff, but she is able to remember some simple enchantments and has some visions about how to reach Merlin. This shows that she has successfully integrated with the dark parts of herself acquiring new abilities, but she has managed to avoid being controlled by them.

Jim’s journey is very similar, but it takes longer and it might appear less obvious since, as stated above, his amulet is not associated with shadows, but rather with daylight, so the opposite.

However, I would like to underline some things.

Firstly, Jim is able to kill Bular who is his first major enemy thanks to him being a human:

He succeeds where his predecessor failed because of his humanity. Similarly, there are other situations where Jim uses unusual approaches because of his human nature. He avoids killing enemies, insists on working with others and so on. This leads to great results to the point that trolls start appreciating Jim and humanity more. However, at the same time, Jim slowly realizes that he has to embrace the trolls’ traditional ways of thinking more.

This is why he goes to the Darklands alone, for example. The Darklands are a place without sun, so they are perfect to symbolize an immersion in one’s shadow.

What is more, when Jim goes there he wears the Eclipse Armor which is made thanks to the three triumbric stones. These stones are linked to Gunmar himself, so it is as if Jim is assimilating a part of Gunmar in order to become strong enough to kill him.

However, Jim’s journey in the Darklands ends with him needing to be saved and Gunmar is freed as a result. This is probably because when Jim faces Gunmar (a symbol of his shadow) the first time he is still not ready. He forces himself to fight him before the time is right. This is basically the opposite of what Claire does when she ignores Morgana’s presence in her.

However, he will still have to integrate with the shadow when the time comes:

This scene is a direct parallel to when Jim repairs the bridge and goes into the Darklands. Both times his friends are calling him from behind a closed door and both times Jim ignores them and acts on his own. However, Jim’s final choice is framed as necessary to win against Gunmar, whereas him going to the Darklands alone is presented as a mistake. Why is that so?

It has probably something to do with Jim needing to mature and to find a better equilibrium between who he is as a human and his role as trollhunter. As a matter of fact it is made clear in many situations that deep down Jim has always known that his mission as trollhunter would have required him to sacrifice his normal life as a high school student:

After all, the episode Hero with a Thousand Faces is precisely about this. In the episode Jim faces different sides of himself and the most antagonistic one is the one embodying his trollhunter duty. His trollhunter personality represents his fear of having to sacrifice who he is to fulfill his role and Jim’s challenge is to reconcile this side of himself with the others.

Another instance which seems to support the idea that, at least unconsciously, Jim had always known the kind of choice he will be asked to make in the finale is what happens in the Deep:

It is explained that the Deep shows you your worst fear against which you have to fight. It becomes clear after rewatching the episode that the one Jim is fighting against is nothing more than himself as the Eternal Knight. In short, Jim is fighting his troll-part which is nothing more than his shadow. This interpretation can be used to explain some things.

3 Below offers us an explanation of what the Deep actually is:

If Krel’s hypothesis is correct and if Jim had actually conquered his fear there, then he should have found Gaylen’s core and broken the curse of the Deep. However, when Krel enters it, the Deep is still working properly. This may mean that Jim did not really conquer his fear, but simply fought it and managed to remain level-headed enough to escape.

This would also clarify why we never see how the battle with the mysterious individual ends. As a matter of fact, in the next episodesJim meet his friends after he has already escaped from the Deep and no more explanation is given. This is odd, but it makes sense if the battle had actually no real end.

This reading would also fit thematically since one of the points of Jim’s arc is to learn how to deal with fear. Sometimes it is not possible to completely conquer one’s fear and the person must learn to consantly struggle with it.

What is more, it would have made no sense to show us a resolution between Jim and his shadow in the Deep since the aim of the narrative was to have him reach that resolution at the very end:

In the series finale Jim becomes half-troll and wears the Eclipse armor for the first time since the Darklands. This is Jim’s second attempt to integrate with his shadow and this time he succeeds because he manages to find an equilibrium between the different parts of himself:

He has to face some responsibilities alone, but this doesn’t mean that the people who love him are gonna leave him behind. In the end, the battle is won because of everyone’s help even if Jim had to make some personal sacrifices and individual choices.

In conclusion, we can say one of Trollhunters main themes is the necessity to face unknown and dark parts of one-self the individual who lives in society usually avoids. In order to do so, the protagonists have to enter a world which is magical and less bound by society rules.

All of this, as anticipated in the introduction, can be summarized with rule number 3. This rule is a rule which must be applied during physical confrontations in order to survive. It is a very instinctive thing to do and implies that the one who does it is fighting for their life without any kind of regulations like the ones in sports.

So the characters must learn to survive in such a world and to adapt to it and at the same time they must show this world the value of humanity.

Here comes another joke which has been repeated a couple times in the series. The trollhunter is someone who hunts trolls, but at the same time it is usually a troll. Why does he have this name then?

The answer is here. It is because he has to protect two worlds. As a matter of fact, it is obvious that if humanity’s shadow is represented by trolls, then trolls who are creatures who can only live in shadow needs to integrate with the “light” aka with their more human parts. This is why the trollhunter is given the amulet of daylight even if all the trollhunters before Jim could not be in the sun. The trollhunter duty invites the one who must accomplish it to understand both humans and trolls and to be an in-between.

As Merlin puts it:

The trollhunter is both a hunter and a troll. So, he is one who hunts trolls, but also a troll himself because each individual must both embrace and control their instinctive parts to become a full fledged adult.

So, in a sense, the trollhunter must hunt himself:

3 BELOW: THE IMPORTANCE OF FAMILY AND SOCIETY

Akiridions are representative of the “other” and of the “stranger” even more than trolls are.

This is made obvious in 3 Below.

First of all, there is the fact that many Akiridions talk with different accents which strengthens the idea that they are not from Arcadia.

Moreover, the series is full of jokes meant to compare the protagonists to members of different minorities:

That said, the main characters exhibit prejudices too:

In short, their story is nothing more than a story of integration between different cultures.

What is more, this theme of different cultures integrating or choosing not to is something which goes beyond just the royals’ experience on Earth.

Let’s consider, for example, an important part of Aja’s arc i.e. her struggling to become a queen in waiting who would use her power to help others:

This specific part of her arc is explored by her foiling with Kubritz.

Kubritz is immediately set up to be Aja’s foil since their first fight when she comments that Aja is not the only woman trained in combat. However, their foiling is not about their physical prowess, but about them being two women in a position of authority who want to protect their planets.

Kubritz wants Earth to be safe from invaders who have a much more developed technology than humans. It is because of this inferiority that Kubritz is so scared of other life-forms and chooses to dominate others through strength and fear as her treatment of Tronos Madu especially shows.

Her approach is completely different from Aja’s who tries to communicate with people:

What is interesting is that Kubritz’s behaviour can be compared to the King and Queen’s. Aja and Krel’s parents are surely different from Kubritz and they are positive characters and beloved royals. However, in order to preserve Akiridion’s peace, they chose not to help other planets and not to stop dangerous criminals despite having the means to do so. This is also what it is implied to have led to their downfall:

Aja is trying to be better than her parents:

She has repeatedly chosen to help others even when it was not beneficial to her. For example, she refuses to listen to Zadra’s advise not to engage in the fight against the Gumm-Gumms, frees Buster even if that puts both her and her family in danger and so on. It is probable Aja will have to struggle between taking care of the interests of her planet and her generous nature which leads her to be willing to help others. However, I think it is made clear that her rule will be different from the one of her parents and something might have already changed:

Because of Morando’s coup, the Akiridions have become more active and have taken part in the final battle against him. In her speech, Zadra underlines that the King and Queen protected Akiridion’s peace and that now it is the people’s turn to protect them. In short, it seems to me that we might assist to some change in Akiridion-5 policies now that Aja is the queen.

At the same time, the theme of the “other” is something which is explored also on an existential level:

Krel’s mind reading glasses are here used to represent empathy aka the ability to understand others and to relate to them.

This is also why Krel is not able to pick up as many voices as Aja does. It is because, according to Aja, he has got the signal range too low since he is scared of breaking the device. This can be seen as a small detail which sheds ligth on what Krel’s main problem is.

Krel’s initial discriminating behaviour towards humans or his acting superior are nothing more than a defensive mechanism born by the fear of not being accepted. This is made clear by Krel being overjoyed whenever someone shows him even the smallest appreciation like Seamus in season one and later on when Toby and Eli tells him they are already friends:

In short, the story makes clear that it is not that Krel isn’t generous or caring or lacks empathy, but that he is probably scared of being hurt by interacting with others. This has probably something to do with him not having had many chances of interacting with peers on Akiridion-5 because of his status as a royal.

In short, Krel, just like Aja, desperatly needs to be normal, but, differently from his sister, doesn’t aknowledge such a need and assumes a somehow arrogant behaviour which ends up putting distance between him and others.

His arc is essentially about overcoming such a defense mechanism and being more honest with himself when it comes to his feelings towards others.

This ties up nicely with Krel’s passion for technology. As a matter of fact technology plays a huge role in 3 Below as the third rule makes clear. In this series, the possibility to use new technologies to bring people together is explored. For example, they use social networks to promote Dog Fight to save the planet, the siblings are saved from Kubritz thanks to the threath of having a video of the woman making racists remarks going viral and so on. Even in the finale the cannon is built thanks to a picture Toby took with his new phone.

So technology is something which is depicted as useful and fundamental to promote a more open society and it is not by chance that in the end Krel is able to create a wormhole to connect Earth and Akiridion 5 despite the two worlds being extremely far away.

When it comes to Krel, it is also shown in season 2 that his passion for technology is not seen as something completely positive by his father:

And tha Krel felt belittled for it since his father gave more importance to traditions and considered technology a hobby.

Throughout the series, we also see advanced robots becoming more human. I am talking of the Blanks and of the Mothership especially:

Mother starts becoming more human the moment she is damaged. From that point on she becomes less perfect in terms of performance (she can’t fly anymore and also makes mistakes), but in exchange she learns the importance of human emotions and human connections and becomes a real mother.

In short, we are shown society and community developing thanks to technology, but also technology becoming more human. This is because technology should never be separated from humanity in order to remain something positive.

We can say, in synthesis, that the series is about “otherness” both in how we react to someone different by being at the same time intrigued and scared and in how we are able to develop as individuals only thanks to interactions with others.

When it comes to this, let’s consider Aja and Krel’s two biggest moments of realization:

Both siblings have them while they are in a dimension symbolic of the subconscious.

Aja has it while she is in her parents’ subconscious, whereas Krel has it while he is in the Deep which models itself after a person’s interiority. In other words Aja realizes something about herself thanks to observing another person and Krel realizes something about his feelings for others thanks to a journey in his own mind.

As a matter of fact Aja has come to realize what she herself wants. She wants to be a warrior and her main problem with her title of queen is that she thinks a queen can’t be one:

However, by seeing her mother being an excellent fighter she realizes she doesn’t have to give up this part of herself to rule and that she can actually be a wonderful queen and a fighter.

Krel is instead stuck because he refuses to be honest with himself when it comes to his feelings for his friends on Earth. Throughout the series it is made clear that he is slowly growing fond of the planet and of its people, but he doesn’t want to admit it. This is why facing the Deep is so important for him. He grows not just because he overcomes his fear of Morando, but also because he finally accepts Earth as his new home.

These two situations are complementary (like the siblings are on many levels) and they show how the self and the other are strictly intertwined on different levels. Others can be mirrors on which we project sides of ourselves and at the same time understanding one-self better is useful for our relationships with others.

Moreover, when it comes to the royal siblings, their arcs embody the first rule (you must be prepared for change) perfectly. As a matter of fact they have inverted arcs in which each character discovers that what they wanted in the beginning is not really what they needed.

In the beginning Aja wants to be normal and her development makes so that not only she comes to accept that she has responsibilities to fulfill, but she realizes that doing so is really in her own nature and not something which conflicts with it as she thought in the beginning.

Krel is presented as more responsible than her sister and more obedient when it comes to his role as king in waiting. Moreover all he wants in the beginning is to go back home. However, as time passes he starts to exhibit a more childish side and he comes to the realization that he prefers staying on Earth rather than going back to Akiridion as King. Similarly, in the beginning he keeps highlighting his own superiority compared to humans, but by the end he chooses to live on Earth as a normal teenager.

Aja and Krel are also a play on the red oni and blue oni dynamic.

Quoting from the page I linked:

This trope is about two individuals (or occasionally, factions or civilizations) that are significantly linked together somehow (such as through a rivalry, friendship, being siblings, co-workers, competitors, etc.) that have differing personalities and, with it, often different approaches to the world in general, especially whatever they might be competing in/for/over.

The Red Oni is associated with passion, wildness, and defiance. A Red Oni character is often more brawny than brainy, extroverted, enthusiastic, determined, and filled with a zest for life. They are also much more likely to break conventions and rules than their counterpart. 

The Blue Oni is associated with serenity, control and observing authority. A Blue Oni is more intellectual, proud, traditional, introverted, and cultured (sometimes more spiritual, although that's not guaranteed). Blue Oni personalities are often respected by others, but also likely to puzzle or confound their peers because they are difficult to read and have a mysterious quality to them.

Aja and Krel fit these descriptions and can be easily associated respectively to the red oni and to the blue oni as their respective colours in human form make clear.

However, as the series goes on it becomes obvious that the attributes listed above are nothing more than the surface of Aja and Krel. As a matter of fact Aja, despite how she appears in the beginning, is actually more mature than Krel under certain aspects and Krel has a very sensitive side which can manifest itself very strongly.

Let’s consider these two scenes in season 1:

They are parallels and inverses. At the beginning of the season Aja is the one who appears the most lost and is encouraged by Krel, whereas by the season’s end Krel shows insecurities and how the responsibility of repairing the ship is getting to him and Aja is the one comforting him.

By the end of the series Aja and Krel have acquired attributes which in the beginning were more strongly associated to the other.

For example, at the ending os season 1 Krel is the one improvising a speech and is said to be better than Aja in formal situations. However, in the last episode, he encourages Aja to speak for the both of them:

In this way, he shows to have overcome his little jealousy for her by letting her take the spotlight and at the same time he encourages her to speak in public and so to become better in a thing she feels nervous about.

Similarly, Aja accepts his brother’s feelings for his new found home and respects his choice to be on Earth and in this way she gives him the chance to pursue the normal life she once wanted.

In conclusion, it seems obvious that the two royals have changed and have reached endings which are the opposite of the ones they would have wanted in the beginning.

While Aja and Krel’s arcs are perfect to represent the first rule, Varvatos’s is perfect to embody the second one which deals with the necessity of accepting one’s mistakes:

Varvatos’s arc is an arc of redemption and at the same time it is a redemption arc which is a deconstrution of the trope according to which a character has to die to redeem himself:

As the scene above shows, Varvatos’s way of having his honour restored is not to die a glorious death which would be very painful for his young lieges, but it is to care for them as their new family.

This is not only something which he must do to help them, but also something which can help him to overcome the sadness for the loss of his family.

The series makes clear that Varvatos’s love for the siblings grows as time passes and he becomes a proper guardian for them to the point that he has no hesitation to suggest using the King and Queen’s cores to spare the two kids. Basically Varvatos repeats what he did in the beginning (he is ready to sacrifice the royals for his family), but this time his choice is framed as the right one and it is confirmed to be the will of the King and Queen themselves once they wake up.

As a matter of fact it is as Mother says:

3 Below is the story of two children losing their parents and finding a new family all in once:

What Morando says here turns out to be the truth since the two siblings will never be able to go back at being a family with their parents. So, we can say that the entirety of the series is a way to let Aja and Krel deal with the loss of their parents and build a support system.

Because of this, their family ends up incorporating many dynamics representative of many different family situations.

First of all, Aja and Krel have to deal with the deaths of their parents, but also with the discovery that they were not perfect. Realizing one’s parents’ limits is a necessary step to grow up.

This is something they must deal with also when it comes to Mother:

Realizing that a parent is not perfect means the child is starting to see that the world is more complex than what previously thought. At the same time, the parent stops being seen as someone perfect and is accepted as a person.

It is interesting to note that Mother parallels the royal parents in the general way her arc is outlined.

At the end of season one, Aja and Krel must fight an omen which has eaten their parents’ cores and a brainwashed Mother. This is symbolic of the two children’s struggle to overcome their parents and to grow up. This can only happen through some kind of conflict which in this case is symbolic and not a direct one. At the same time, the kids are taking their parents’ roles as protectors of the family.

However, even if it is right for the kids to become stronger and able to live by themselves, this doesn’t mean they should be the ones to protect their parents and to shoulder all the responsibility. This is why in the end Mother and their parents are the ones who sacrifice themselves for their well-being in a direct inversion of the season 1 finale.

Other than having to grieve for their parents, Aja and Krel finds themselves in a new family dynamic with Vex who becomes their guardian and later on with Zadra.

Vex and Zadra’s relationship is similar to the one two divorced parents have. Even if there was never romance between them, they still find themselves in disagreement on how to take care of the kids and keep fighting. However, in the end they are able to overcome their problems for the sake of the children and reconcile.

Finally, I would like to talk briefly of the two Blanks. They are basically a parody of a stereotyped American family and it is not by chance that they first appear when Aja and Krel needs to be accepted in school. It is a failed attempt to conform. At the same time, them feeling completely off to others can be seen as a joke about what a “normal” family should be like. In the end there is not a normal family and all family dynamics can be equally beautiful.

In the end the Blanks stay on Earth with Krel and become his guardians. This is a good way to end their story since this means that they have finally settled in Arcadia with a kid who, after some initial struggle, managed to fully integrate. Them being robots also tie with the role of technology both in the series in general and in Krel’s character which has been discussed above.

In conclusion, 3 Below is a series which shows both positive and negative aspects of human society. It explores how society treats the different, but it also shows that integration is possible. Finally it offers a view on multiple family dynamics present in modern society.

CONCULSION: TWO DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE ON HUMANITY

Both Trollhunters and 3 Below are about exploring humanity, but they do so from two different point of views.

In Trollhunters humans find their humanity challenged by something different and an equilibrium must be found between the trollish and the human.

In 3 Below the weirdness of humanity is shown thanks to the eyes of people who come from a different world. At the same time, these aliens also discover what is good about humanity and what they have in common with it. This shared part is obviously the core of human beings.

At the same time, the two stories are coming of age narratives and it is interesting that their protagonists growing up happen in different ways.

Jim grows when he leaves home together with Claire who is his companion. By doing so, he separates from his mother who build a new life together with Strickler.

Aja and Krel grow when they manage to go home:

This is fitting for a series where the main characters keep running away. After all, Aja is introduced while she is running to avoid a ceremony and after that they run from Morando and hide. Krel too, in a sense, is running away from his growing feelings towards Earth and his friends which he comes to accept in the end.

At the same time, the behaviours of Claire and Steve who are the MC’s love interests are also opposite. Claire chooses to invest on her relationship with Jim and to follow him in his adventure, while Steve chooses to stay on Earth with his family.

There is not a right or wrong choice, but simply different people who want different things and are taking care of their respective romantic relationships in different ways.

This is something which happens with Barbara/Strickler and Varvatos/Nancy as well.

Barbara chooses to let her son go even if it pains her and embraces a new life with her new partner, whereas Varvatos chooses to postpone his relationship with Nancy to when both Toby and Aja will become self-sufficient and won’t need their help anymore.

These are two different situations a parent might find themselves in and they are both shown as equally valid choices by the series.

#tales of arcadia #tales of arcadia meta #trollhunters #trollhunters meta #3 below #3 below meta #jim lake junior #claire nuñez #aja tarron #krel tarron #varvatos vex #mothership #colonel kubritz

[panharmonium]

since i am on the cusp of watching the last four episodes of merlin (again, disclaimer: these are episodes i have never seen, and for which i still remain unspoiled, so please help me continue to stay spoiler-free for the next couple of days), i wanted to try to set down a record of where my thoughts are now, because you can only be in a place where you haven’t finished something once - “once a thing is known, it can’t be unknown,” etc - i’ll never be able to come back to this mindset, so i’d like to be able to remember what i was thinking before i knew how it ended.  if nothing else, this will mean that i can come back here and laugh at my wildly off-base suspicions.

this is relevant to absolutely nobody, since everybody else finished this show eight years ago; so under the cut it goes!

so. 

right now i have a feeling that merlin is going to end...badly.  i’ve never been outright spoiled for what happens at the end of this show, but various little hints of feelings i’ve picked up from people just indicate that...it’s not a good time.  it would be nice to be wrong!  but that is just the sense i have gotten.

with that in mind, my current thinking is as follows:

arthur: i think arthur’s doomed.  i used to think it was going to be merlin, but that was last year, and i’ve recalibrated and rewatched since then, and honestly, ‘the disir’ gives me a real bad feeling.  you can’t just ignore all these people being like “THIS IS YOUR LAST CHANCE!  IT WILL NOT COME AGAIN!”  i’m not sure if he’s doomed now, or if they’re gonna have him survive the immediate crisis and then fast-forward to the future so we can watch him die and get shipped off to avalon later, but either way, i think arthur’s in trouble.  

(and, quite frankly, i don’t think merlin’s going to get his good ending, either.  i’m afraid he’s going to end up dead or living as a hermit or trapped in dragoon’s ancient body or something stupid like that.)

(i would LOVE to be wrong, fyi.  i have absolutely no reason to have these suspicions other than the vague sense from others that the ending of this show made people bitterly unhappy.)

i don’t know how there is a way for them to do this that doesn’t feel like a huge waste or something that doesn’t make sense.  the messaging on this show has always been that the time of albion hasn’t actually happened yet, that arthur is going to unite the land and be the greatest king of all time.  the message has never been that he’s already done it.  like - it’s never been presented as “the three years between S4 and S5 were what we consider to be the once and future king’s glorious reign.”  so it just feels...like it would be very weird to remove arthur without that promise ever being fulfilled.  i’m not sure how they can manage that without pulling the rug out from under their audience in an unpleasant/dishonest way.

i also don’t see how this kind of ending would work without breaking the show’s promise to merlin - that one day he will be known for who and what he is, that he and arthur are destined for greatness, that the appearance of a white dragon “BODES WELL” for them and the world they are trying to build.

mordred: i have no idea what’s going to happen with mordred.  i stand by what i said before, that i like him and don’t care if that means i get burned.  i don’t know if they’re planning on having him either a) be revealed as a traitor with his own agenda (one not necessary aligned with morgana’s) or b) be sincerely trying to be a good knight but doing a 180 and turning on arthur due to...idk, frustration about not being accepted, old grudge-holding from that confrontation with merlin when he was a kid, new grudge-holding from merlin constantly trying to get him killed, etc.  

i have always been concerned that merlin’s behavior is going to drive mordred to do something evil, thus accidentally bringing about the events he’s trying to prevent, so that still looms large in my mind.

morgana: ?????  whatever plan she has is going to blow up in her face, it seems, given the substance of merlin’s vision in 5.01 (not that she appears to have a plan at all, this season - she’s been all about the wacky schemes, lately; she has no allies and no army, as far as we know.  (that will change, though, i’m sure, once we get to That Dread Place, though how, i don’t know.)   “the legends speak of an alliance between mordred and morgana” - so maybe mordred ends up sort of helping her after all, and turning on her in the end (though he’s already done that, it seems, so i really don’t know how that makes sense).  

if it were up to me, i’d want morgana to be released, at the end of everything.  not redeemed, exactly - i don’t think she would cozy up in camelot with everybody and let things go back to normal, but i think she could be more than what she is.  i think it would be an appropriate arc, actually, for us to see her losing her allies and her armies, for her to see people drifting away from her methods, like when annis refuses to help her any further in 4.05.  morgana started off as the voice of moral authority on this show, but she’s descended far enough now that she’s driving people away from her cause.

but i still think she deserves a chance.  i think she’s the kind of person who has the capacity to come back from the brink.  i would like to see further exploration of the conflict she obviously feels when mordred appeals to her humanity in 5.09.  i would like to see the conflict she must feel about hurting people she used to love, and i would like to see conflict from them in her direction, as well.  i don’t believe it would be simple for arthur to ever consider killing his sister.  i don’t think gwen would just give up on morgana without a fight.  i do think merlin, for his part, has hardened his heart against her, and that seems appropriate, given their history, but i also think that merlin’s primary motivator in this world is love.  

i think he could learn.  i think he would realize, after some difficulty, that he owes it to her to try to reach her, somehow.  

gwen: it’s hard for me to say what i expect for gwen, because honestly, she hasn’t had much of an arc this season, and therefore we don’t have much to work with.  i’m not sure if TPTB just stopped knowing what to do with her once she became queen, or what, but if i had been putting down my expectations for her in season 5 as a whole, i would have expected to see gwen kind of like - struggling a bit with her huge change in circumstance (from servant to queen, i mean, that’s massive; there would be so many things she’d have to adjust to, and then dealing with other people as well, not all of whom would be thrilled by her upward mobility - eg nobles who are threatened by the idea that common folk feel like they can aspire to the second highest office in the land, or other servants who used to be her friends and would never wish her ill but are now maybe nervous around her - but none of that happened, so i honestly don’t know what the plan is for her.  i would have liked to see gwen showing up a bit more for merlin, i suppose...they were so close, before, and if anyone would have noticed that something was bothering merlin, gwen would have - but there’s just this gap between them now.

gwaine, too.  gwaine and merlin were tight.  and now they’re sort of…i mean, gwaine is there, and he on his end is still invested in merlin, but there’s a weird distancing happening between them.  merlin is too preoccupied with the all-consuming ‘make sure arthur doesn’t die’ to put much of himself into his other relationships.

to be clear, i’m not actually criticizing that as a writing decision.  i do think it’s something merlin would do.  i think it absolutely makes sense for merlin to be shutting down all the “extra” parts of his life, one after another, until the only thing left is the Mission.  his “destiny.”   he can only focus on that one thing.  he only thinks his life is worth something if he can succeed at this one thing.

it makes me very sad, but i do think it’s something that would happen to him.  it strikes me as an appropriate step for his character arc.  because merlin in S5 is kind of disintegrating, and even in S4 he was starting to pull away from other people.  but i would expect this problem to be addressed as season 5 progressed, and i fully do not expect that to happen now. 

i’m honestly not sure the show actually sees it as a problem at all.  i’m not sure...i can never tell if this show understands that merlin feels like all of his relationships are shams, that he feels that everyone who “loves” him would hate him if they knew who he actually was, not just arthur.  he thinks people only care about him because he lies.  he thinks his true self is fundamentally unlovable, in this particular world.  he doesn’t remember what genuine friendship feels like anymore - it’s been such a long time since he experienced it.

i think that’s a problem.  i expected it to be one of the problems we would address in S5.  but i’m not sure we’re actually going there.

gaius: i was REAL concerned about gaius when we started S5.  i was sure he was a goner.  he’d already survived way longer than i expected him to and i was so pleased about that fact; i loved it; i loved how merlin said “camelot needs BOTH of us” and refused to ever leave him behind.  

i’m still kind of um...worried about him, i guess.  i’m not sure where he would fit in a post-finale world.  though that really depends on where the finale leaves us.  

the dragons: don’t even ask me.  are we ever going to get clarification on how kilgharrah allowed aithusa to get swept up by morgana and then trapped in a pit for two years?  nah?  okay then.

i would really, really like merlin to be able to help aithusa.  it doesn’t matter if aithusa is “with” morgana; merlin is still a dragonlord.  he would still feel responsible.  he would still care.  you can tell how upset he is when he sees aithusa in 5.02.  i hope we can get something to this effect - who knows, maybe he and morgana can connect on this one thing.  

wider concerns: the magical community.  i’ve been waiting for merlin to take a stand for them for a long time, but again, i don’t think we’re going there.  i wish we were, but merlin thinks the only way he can help them is by helping arthur, because someone somewhere once told him arthur was the one who could put everything right.

(and again, that’s something that makes me sad.  why does this community have to wait for their oppressor to slowly, maybe come around?  the fact that we, the audience, are fond of arthur doesn’t make it okay for anyone to tell a group of oppressed people to sit around and wait their turn.  they deserve to be free now.  merlin deserves to be free now.  these people have every right to declare themselves free people, unbowed and unshackled - morgana is right about that much, at least.)

wider concerns: the political situation.  is anyone ever going to actually explain what albion looks like?  the show keeps saying “the five kingdoms” when there are DEMONSTRABLY more than five monarchs introduced across various seasons - are there just five extra-prominent kingdoms, like medieval superpowers?  or what?  this wasn’t really a big deal before and you could kind of handwave it away, but if arthur’s supposed to be uniting these places, it becomes a little more relevant.

and of course, merlin: 

i don’t want to write too much about my many many fears for merlin himself here.  i’ve written about them enough elsewhere, and, as gaius says, “i’m not sure my heart can take it.” 

suffice to say, my biggest fear is that merlin won’t get his good ending.  

for years, people have been telling merlin (and us, by extension!) that one day, someday, if he struggles enough, if he suffers enough, if he is very, very patient, and very, very strong, he will finally be known and loved for who he is.  

i am afraid that these people were either mistaken or lying.

people shouldn’t have to earn their happiness in the first place, but by god, if they did, merlin has done enough.  he has been hiding in the shadows all his life, doing nothing but help people and sacrifice himself for others’ sakes, even as he believes that all the people he cares about would hate the person he is inside.  

he deserves a spot in the sun.

#getting ready #we're watching 5.10 tonight #been kind of staring at the clock dreading the passage of minutes #until we sit down to start the episode #but it's happening #can't put it off any longer #time to rip off this band-aid #O____O #the once and future slowburn #meta #(sort of)

[coffeestainsandcashmere]

‘All that’s best of dark and bright’ - a Draco x Hermione x Theo story - Chapter Six

Summary:          

Hermione's birthday starts inauspiciously and ends... well. You'll see for yourself how it ends.

Notes:          

Warnings for some PTSD and nightmares right off the bat. And finally here’s that ‘Mature’ tag too, right at the end of the chapter :)

Note: does the Wizarding world have birthday cards??? They do in this story, and like wizardy photographs, they move. If I goofed up and this isn’t a thing, please just accept it as another AU element :). There’s also a reference to an old British store chain in there, so kudos to you if you spot it.

I hope this chapter is ok - I’ve actually got a retinal migraine at the moment and have lost the sight in most of my central field of vision, so editing it one last time was a bit… hit and miss, let’s say. Anyway, thank you for your feedback on previous chapters too! Looking forward to your reactions to this one for sure…

Chapter One here: Tumblr | Ao3

Chapter Two here: Tumblr | Ao3

Chapter Three here: Tumblr | Ao3

Chapter Four here: Tumblr | Ao3

Chapter Five here: Tumblr | Ao3

Hermione woke in the early hours of her birthday with a scream.

The snatchers had her. Hands all over her, couldn’t break free, thrashing, struggling, writhing.  

Sweating, she twisted and sheared their grasp away from her arm for a second and ran, lungs burning, legs trembling. One fall over an unseen root and that would be it. The war could be lost if they got caught now.  

He would win.  

And Harry would die. Oh God, they couldn’t lose. Not now. Not after everything.  

The forest was closing in.  

She had only seconds to think, to disguise Harry, to keep them from snatching him and knowing who he was. “I’m sorry,” she hissed as the stinging jinx took hold of his face and it began to swell.  

More hands on her. Unrelenting this time. There was no escape.  

Darkness.

Rushing darkness of forced apparition.

Yew hedges and an iron gate that thrummed with wards and enchantments.

Bellatrix’s awful, gleeful face.

Then pain.

Fear and pain unending.  

Silver eyes staring, wide and horrified.  

Screaming.

Screaming, screaming, screaming…

Jerking awake violently, with sweat running down between her breasts and tracking down her torso, hair a damp, tangled nest, and throat raw, she thanked all her magical forebears, starting with Merlin and Morgana, that she’d had the sense the previous night to cast a silencing enchantment again between the four posts of her bed. The rest of the dorm slept on. Ginny was even snoring.  

Her heart was still pounding and she looked over at the window, the dawn still a good hour away at least.  

The faint grey light filtering through the leaded window beside her bed reminded her of Draco’s eyes from her dream.  

He’d been there that night and had been forced to watch his own aunt carve that word into her forearm after god-knows-how-long of cruciatus torture. Had he always looked as revolted by it all as he had just then in her dream? She’d had it so many times now that she could no longer distinguish memory from nightmare. Her skin itched and burned but she refused to look down and stare at the word ‘mudblood’ engraved into her skin.

“Happy birthday,” she muttered under her breath before getting out of bed and inhaling deeply. The air in the room was cold, and goosebumps prickled along her skin as she reached for her Gryffindor red dressing-gown that had been a present from her parents on a birthday a few years ago.  

She stood and went to the window, opening the casement which squeaked like an affronted gnome, but still no one stirred or complained. Damp, autumn air flooded in, sweeping around her and cooling the sweat on the exposed skin of her collarbones til she shivered, but it slowly helped to calm her heartbeat. Her eyes roved along the lines of the mountains that surrounded the school. “Nineteen,” she mused with a sigh. “Nineteen years old, and my parents no longer have any idea that I’ve ever existed.”  

Kingsley had said there was still a chance that the memory-altering spell could be reversed, but it had been so powerful that it risked destroying their minds altogether, and she hadn’t had the courage to give him the okay to try. They were happy and safe as Wendell and Monica Wilkins, and would probably stay that way forever thanks to the strength of the charm she’d used. She couldn’t regret protecting her parents, but the necessity of it brought tears to her eyes every time.  

She didn’t feel nineteen. What was it supposed to feel like anyway? Besides, what normal nineteen year old was still at Hogwarts? Most of the rest of her year was out there, beyond those mountains. Seamus was in Auror training with Harry, and Dean was apparently working in the Goblin Liaison Office after his surprising and enduring friendship with Griphook, while a number of others were in a similar line of work, patching up holes where Death Eaters had exposed their world to the muggles, or training with magical creatures, or working in bars, or travelling the world — Blaise Zabini was rumoured to be in Portugal working with the authorities there, and she’d even heard a rumour that he was engaged to Pansy Parkinson, though she found it hard to believe. Blaise had always seemed the type not to be interested in romantic attachments. Perhaps it was a pureblood thing?  

With an enormous sigh, she abandoned thoughts of purebloods, and turned away from the window to find a small parcel sitting by the little fireplace in their dorm, with two envelopes beside it. She frowned and stepped closer, her heart leaping for joy when she recognised both Harry’s minuscule writing and Ron’s untidy scribble. 

Sitting cross legged by the empty hearth, she ripped Harry’s envelope open first and discovered, to her delight, a muggle birthday card with a hideously gaudy badge on it, sporting a cartoon birthday cake. She carefully unpinned it from the front and set it to one side to attach to the drapes of her four-poster. Inside it read:

‘Dear Hermione,  

I’m sorry I haven’t written to you! I’ve been so busy and I can’t really tell you about any of it yet. I loved your letters though, and I’m not surprised you’re so busy. Please remember to stop every now and again, won’t you? Hope you have a great day full of surprises!

Love,

Harry x’

She narrowed her eyes at the ‘full of surprises’ bit, hoping that he hadn’t told Ginny to do something very Weasley-esque and embarrassing, and then opened Ron’s card. Their friendship had been somewhat strained since they broke up, and Fred’s death had understandably brought out his more morose side in the last few months, but she was pleased that he’d remembered. His had a silly cartoon of a dragon lighting a birthday cupcake with a gout of flame that incinerated the whole thing before the dragon looked out at the viewer and shrugged before the image looped around again. She was honestly just relieved that it wasn’t some kind of new exploding card from the joke shop.  

‘Dear Mione’ it began. She squinted and peered at the next lines. Gods, he could have worked for the Ministry in their Department of Mysteries, encrypting messages for them.  

‘Dear Mione,

Happy Birthday! Sorry I haven’t come to see you yet but hopefully it won’t be too long. Promise not to bring any skiving snack-boxes for you…  

Love,

Ron’

In the quiet of the four-person dorm, with only the soft whisper of three sleepers and the whisper of the wind outside, Hermione smiled. They might have been terrible at keeping in touch, but her friends did still care after all. It wasn’t that she’d doubted them necessarily, but the silence had still stung.

She picked up the parcel next and unwrapped a small box of sherbet lemons from Harry with a label bearing his tiny handwriting that said: ‘Got these for you from Woolworths pick ‘n’ mix. Thought you’d like them. H x’.  

Tears filled her eyes and the bright yellow sweets swam before her. She thought back to her very muggle childhood - a fact she shared with Harry, though hers had been a little happier on the domestic front - and also thought of Dumbledore, who had famously had a great penchant for the sour boiled sweets. Despite having dentists for parents, she had always loved these, but even now as she guiltily unwrapped one, she felt like a child sneakily opening a present on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day. It tasted amazing, and it brought back so many memories.  

Hours later, turning another sweet over between her tongue and teeth, she dressed and headed down to breakfast without waking Ginny or the other two seventh years and breakfasted alone at the Gryffindor table well before the post owls arrived. She didn’t fancy advertising that it was her birthday, drawing attention to the fact that she was older than almost any other student ever had been in the entire history of Hogwarts. Probably. That was one she’d have to look up in Hogwarts: A History when she got back upstairs.  

Thoughts of the book, and whereabouts she could look in the various chapters for such a reference, evaporated as she left the hall after breakfast, and spotted Theo and Draco eating together at one end of the table. Ahead of the Slytherin tryouts that morning, Draco was dressed in his quidditch gear, and - damn him - and he looked… he looked regal. His white hair gleamed, the soft wave to it making him look much less harsh now, and as he and Theo shared a conversation, he even managed a brief laugh that lit up his silver eyes and lifted the tiredness from his sharp features. He’d grown into that pinched, pointy face, she realised, and he now looked strikingly handsome when he smiled.  

While she continued to stare at them, Theo held up a grape and Draco rolled his eyes but let Theo pop it into his mouth.  

Hermione walked right into the stone doorway of the entrance arch and rebounded with a soft grunt, face burning and mind reeling. Burning with shame, she scuttled across the entrance hall and had just set foot to the first tread of the Great Staircase when a familiar voice echoed off the stonework.  

“Granger!”  

She froze and then turned around. Malfoy was standing in the archway to the Great Hall, and the full sight of him in his quidditch kit nearly knocked her breathless. How had she not appreciated just how tall he’d grown or how good he looked in that rich, dark Slytherin green before? It complemented the silver of his hair and the paleness of his skin so perfectly that she almost forgot that he’d spoken and called her name.  

“Yes?” she croaked.  

He swallowed and crossed towards her, holding two small envelopes in his left hand. He proffered them to her between index and middle fingers, and swallowed again. “Happy Birthday, Granger,” he said in a soft, slightly husky voice.  

She stared at them envelopes stupidly for a second and then gingerly took them from him. “They’re not howlers, are they?” she asked, aiming for a light tone.

He shook his head and a section of his silver hair fell into his eyes before he brushed it back. “No, Granger. No tricks. Just two birthday cards.”

“Thank you, Malfoy,” she said, oddly choked. She saw Theo’s writing on the front of the top one, and assumed the other was from Malfoy. “That’s… That’s really sweet of you.”

He rolled his eyes and turned away, shaking his head. “I’ll pass on your thanks to Theo,” was all he said as he retreated. She watched him go, eyeing his narrow hips and long legs, and she gulped. That was the closest she’d come to getting an apology from him, and she could recognise it for the white flag it was. He was clearly trying.  

She smiled and turned them over in her hand.  

Her fingers trembled as she broke the green wax seal, blank and un-stamped, she noted, and opened the first one then and there in the liminal entrance hall. It might have felt somehow symbolic if she’d paused to give it any thought.  

Draco’s card bore a moving image of a set of floor-to-ceiling library shelves, a few of the books sliding in and out at irregular intervals, as if drawn out for examination by invisible fingers, and a ginger kneazel’s tail flickered into view in the bottom corner every so often. He’d noticed Crookshanks then? Not only that, but he’d noticed Crookshanks from years ago and had remembered him? Surely it wasn’t a coincidence. Malfoy never did anything without a purpose. His message inside was simple, but it was his handwriting that made her eyebrows rise.  

It was terrible; almost illegible. Even worse than Ron’s.  

For some reason she’d always expected that he would have the curling, looping handwriting of a prince or something, but this was a barely-discernible chicken scratch, and was even a little smudged over his signature.  

‘Hermione,

I hope today brings you every joy you deserve.

Yours,  

Draco Malfoy’

She re-read it three times before she really saw it though, still shocked at receiving a birthday card from Draco Malfoy of all people. Another white flag.

Taking a deep breath and deciding not to ponder it too long, lest she run into the danger of over thinking again, she moved to Theo’s which was written in a tidier and much more ornate hand. The script on this envelope was a perfect, fluid, graceful, English roundhand, like the kind she’d only seen on old parchment documents, and the ink was, surprisingly, purple. She recalled the smudges on his fingers from the other day and wondered if that was the Slytherin’s favourite colour.  

Theo’s card was also book-themed, but it bore an image of a battered old copy of ‘Advanced Potion Making’ beside a softly-steaming pewter cauldron. She smiled, reminded instantly of their last potions session and all the revelations it had carried with it, but she set that aside for the time being and read his message. She could almost hear him saying it, and she laughed aloud as she read it.  

‘To the most perfect of prefectorial and potions partners,

I hope you have a wonderful day and that, should you wish it, your friends get you very, very drunk up in Gryffindor tower. Whatever you do, you deserve to have fun, Hermione, and I hope today of all days is full of it.  

Love,  

Theo.’

The difference between the two was striking. Malfoy’s was reserved and his writing seemed almost shy and awkward, whereas Theo’s reflected his usual, outgoing, charming self. Plus, he’d signed it ‘love’, though again, she tried not to read too much into it.  

She glanced up to find that both of them were looking at her from their distant seats at the Slytherin table in the Great Hall. Theo grinned and waved, but Malfoy just continued to stare at her with his expression carefully veiled.  

“Thank you,” she mouthed at them and Theo bowed his head rather theatrically.  

Before she could decide to go over them at strike up a conversation, Ginny bounded down the grand staircase behind her and barrelled into her, along with half the Gryffindor team at her heels, all buoyed up with excitement about tryouts, and the head girl tackle-hugged her almost into a headlock. “Happy birthday!” she screeched, setting Hermione’s ears ringing and the few students in the hall staring. “Did the owls come already then?” she asked when she saw the cards in her hand.  

She shook her head but didn’t elaborate. Ginny was too excited about the tryouts anyway. “Please come and watch us later,” she said. “Just for a bit? Oh, and I’ve got Harry’s and Ron’s cards for you! I put them out by the fireplace in our dorm…”  

“I found them already,” she smiled. “Thank you. But why didn’t they just owl them straight to me?”

“They wanted to make sure they got here on time so they sent them together a few days ago with Harry’s new eagle owl. She’s huge! Anyway, please come?” she wheedled. “Pleasepleaseplease?”

Taking a deep breath, she glanced over at Theo and Malfoy, who were apparently just finishing up with their breakfast. Gone was the tender grape-sharing, to be replaced by a muttered conversation. Her brain rather unhelpfully supplied that she might get to see Malfoy in his uniform again if she showed up.  

“Fine,” she grunted through gritted teeth. “I’ll come for a bit. But literally just twenty minutes or so, ok?”

“Yes!” Ginny yelled, fist pumping and then hugging her again. “Thank you! I’ll have to tell Ron.”

“Why?”

“He nearly bet me five galleons that you wouldn’t go to a quidditch practice on your birthday.”

“Nearly?” she asked archly. “Well, I’d hate to be predictable…”

“I wouldn’t let him lay a bet on what you did on your birthday,” she said and Hermione blessed her silently with her eyes. Someone yelled Ginny’s name from the Gryffindor table and she nodded. “I’m gonna go grab something to eat. We’re heading out early to watch the Slytherins first and see what the competition is, but we start at one thirty, ok?”

Hermione showed up at the quidditch pitch at quarter past one and found that a few Slytherins were still there, though clearly most of their tryouts had finished. Those who remained were flying for fun now. A few of them were still running drills under the watchful eye of the Slytherin captain, and somewhere on the absolute opposite side of the stands she could see a few Slytherin supporters, but mostly, the place was oddly deserted and quiet.  

The weather had also turned absolutely bloody miserable, with a fine sheet of mizzle wafting down around them, drenching everything and reducing visibility to almost nothing. She huddled deeper into her cloak and cursed, hair expanding steadily with the damp conditions. She really, really hated quidditch.

“How in Godric’s name did I let myself get talked into this?” she growled to herself after just ten minutes of sitting in the freezing stands, wishing she at least had a book to distract her from her chattering teeth. “Ginny, I’m sorry. I can’t. I’m freezing my arse off. I’m going back.”

“What? You haven’t even seen us fly!” Ginny laughed, though clearly not upset in the slightest. “I’m surprised you even showed up without Ron and Harry to cheer at. Have fun in the library. Until your party that is…” Ginny added ominously. “Don’t forget. I’ve got a surprise for you. Don’t worry; you’ll love it,” she added when Hermione balked visibly. “Fucking shit,” Ginny hissed, her gaze sliding past Hermione to the pitch behind. “Malfoy is really bloody good. I hate him, but look at that… It’s… It’s poetry, Hermione. Bloody poetry.”

She turned and watched as a blur that was presumably Malfoy did an eye-wateringly fast swan-dive, rocketing straight out of the clouds right down to barely half an inch from the turf below, before barrel rolling upwards with the grace of a swallow to avoid a bludger. He pulled out of the roll and peeled right, drifting in a lazy arc and coming to a halt in front of the stands on the far side. He seemed to be holding a conversation with someone for a moment or two before he peeled away into a lazy backwards dive and then looped up into the air to begin soaring around the far end. The fluidity of his movements was mesmeric, and even Hermione had to admit that he was an absolute pleasure to watch.  

And then the wind blew raindrops down her neck and she shivered.

“Nope,” she said. “I don’t care how beautiful he looks on a broomstick, I’m going in. See you later, Ginny. Good luck getting a better team than Slytherin!” and she disappeared before she lost her fingers and toes to frostbite on her nineteenth birthday.  

It took her well over an hour to warm up by the fire in the Gryffindor common room, but just when she’d contemplated going to the prefects’ bathroom to take a long soak to drive the residual chill from her bones, she found that she was actually nearly thawed out. It was only the lingering stiffness in her muscles after being locked in a tight ball in the armchair that remained. Deciding that a spot of exercise would probably finish the job, she grabbed her notebook and quill, and made her way towards the library.  

Predictably, it was almost completely deserted at nearly three in the afternoon on a Saturday, and she wove her way through to her favourite corner in the Charms section, settling her books down and thinking about what to start first. She had one Transfiguration essay that was admittedly optional, and one Ancient Studies translation to crack on with for Monday. Deciding to tackle that first, given that it would probably take her half an hour at most, she moved with familiar ease through the shelves until she drew closer to the restricted section. The book of runic verb tables was not held there, but the Ancient Studies section was visited so infrequently that it was tucked away near the restricted section all the same.  

As she approached, on the point of rounding the final corner of a bookshelf and entering the small, square alcove created by two bookshelves set perpendicular to the stone wall, she heard a gasp and a deep, guttural grunt, and froze.  

It wouldn’t be the first time she’d stumbled on someone doing something illicit in the library, but there was something about the timbre of that voice that made her pause and her heart race. Usually, people had the grace to conceal themselves or put up a befuddlement charm to distract other library users until they were done, but she was not so lucky this time.  

“Oh fuck,” she heard a breathy, male voice snarl and her eyes widened.  

It was Theodore Nott. She was sure of it.  

As she slid behind the bookcase that separated her from that small, secluded alcove, she peered through the books on the shelf and inhaled sharply in surprise, immediately holding her breath in case she’d given herself away. She needn’t have worried - the two engaged in something a tad racier than a quickly-stolen kiss or two were in no danger of hearing her one tiny gasp of surprise.  

Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott were pressed up against the far side of the bookshelves, mercifully on the other side of the square alcove from her hiding spot, and Theo had his jeans round his ankles, black boxer-briefs yanked down as well, while Draco had his own dark trousers undone and merely hanging around his narrow hips. Malfoy was wearing a long-sleeved, smart-looking white shirt which was now rumpled and untucked, and he had his left hand between the two of them, hidden from sight for the moment by his own body.  

She might have though it jarring to see them in more casual clothes, were it not for the incredibly distracting activity in which they were currently and rather shockingly engaged.  

Theo looked… debauched.  

His curly hair was mussed up and thoroughly ruffled, his cheeks were flushed to the point that his freckles had vanished completely, and his wine-dark Henley had a distinctly fist-shaped crumple at the shoulder. His thin lips were also puffy and red, kiss-swollen and still wet. Meanwhile, he barely seemed to be keeping himself upright, with one hand gripping the stone wall nearby, his other clutched on the bookshelf behind him, and his dark blue eyes kept fluttering closed.  

Hermione stared, utterly transfixed.  

Draco had an enormous hickey on the side of his neck, angrily standing out in stark relief against the white of his skin.  

She couldn’t have looked away from them if a dragon had entered the library and begun to breathe fire amongst the books. They looked so beautiful together, chests heaving, muscles straining and clenching in their exposed biceps and necks, the tendons pulled taut and straining as they ground against each other, breathless and gasping.  

“Fuck, Draco, fuck...” Theo snarled as Malfoy worked them closer and closer. The slick sounds of their efforts began to fill the small corner of the library and it was all she could focus on. They’d obviously been in such a rush that they’d neglected to throw up a concealment charm, or they thought that no one would be there on a weekend. Or… Or they liked the risk.  

“Fuck!” Theo’s knees buckled as he yelped, and Draco’s right hand flew to cover Theo’s mouth.  

As his long fingers wrapped around Theo’s face, little finger just below Theo’s nose, she caught the silver flash of his signet ring. The sight of it pressed against Theo’s skin, the bone-pale colour of Draco’s body contrasting with the warmer tones of the taller boy, made her suddenly wet and hot all over. They turned a little bit as Draco applied a little pressure to Theo’s jaw with that hand and tipped Theo’s head to one side so that he could mouth and kiss at his exposed neck for a moment, and she saw that he had both of their cocks in one hand. His pace was quick and brutal, perhaps trying to finish them both off as rapidly as possible and send them tumbling over the edge of orgasm before they were discovered.  

The sight of Draco Malfoy’s hand around both his and Theo’s cocks together nearly undid her and she had to bite her lips together to keep from making a noise. Not once had she ever fantasised about anything like this. Even though she’d entertained the brief idea that the two boys could be together, it had never encompassed a sight like this, with Theo unravelling in a series of muffled groans and stifled gasps while Malfoy jerked him off with relentless focus.  

She knew she shouldn’t be watching, but before she could turn away and flee, Theo’s muffled words dissolved into a long, deep, guttural groan, his blue eyes rolling shut, as Malfoy paused and swiped a thumb over the weeping tip of his cock and Theo’s knees caved again.

“Quiet,” Malfoy snarled, tightening his grip and causing Theo to throw his head back with another broken moan. He seemed incapable of keeping quiet, and he thunked the back of his head on the bookshelf but barely seemed to notice. Malfoy’s hand had been dislodged from his mouth by the movement, fingertips dragging obscenely at Theo’s lips for a second, and now his long fingers lay splayed and tense over his exposed throat, middle and ring fingers on either side of his sharp Adam’s apple. “This is a library, Theo,” he purred. “Quiet.”

“Fuck… No one… comes to this… to this section anyway,” he panted, thrusting his hips weakly into Malfoy’s hand. “Oh fuck, there, like that. I’m so close. I’m so fucking close, Draco. Well… no one except…” he paused before managing to open his eyes and grinning wickedly. “Granger…”

“Fuck! Don’t mention Granger now!” Malfoy practically yowled, fingers tightening in an involuntary spasm around Theo’s neck, and Hermione tried not to be hurt. Presumably though if they were there, doing this with each other, she wouldn’t have been of any interest to them anyway.  

Or… not…?

Malfoy came almost immediately with a choked-off growl, as if the full force of his sudden orgasm took him by surprise, and he came hard. His head bowed forwards to rest against Theo’s collarbone as his back heaved and his hips jerked. He spilled into his hand and all over Theo’s hard, slick cock as well.  

Theo crashed into his release only a second or two later, one hand clinging to Malfoy’s shoulder, the other on the wall beside him, and then they both slouched against the bookshelves looking dazed and weak for a moment or two before Malfoy straightened and scourgified them both clean with a wandless wave of his hand. Talented and beautiful. Not many people would have had the presence of mind to do that kind of magic in the aftershocks of an orgasm like that.

Hermione was breathless, still staring at them with eyes wide and heart pounding. She’d soaked through and ruined her underwear, she was sure of it.  

“Fuck, Draco,” Theo hissed, tucking himself back into his trousers and leaning shakily against the bookshelf. “I know it’s my fault, but we’ve got to stop doing this… It’s… It’s not fair…”

Draco didn’t speak, and other than the vibrant, blotchy flush that crept up his white neck and onto his cheeks, there was no outward sign that he’d just come his brains out in the library, with Hermione Granger’s name fresh on his lips.

___

To be continued.

If you enjoyed, please reblog and share! I’m new to the fandom on here and appreciate all the help I can get!

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writing masterlist | Ao3

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