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#monkees twt and kpop twt because one overlapped and one was just classic rock
tiredsadpeach · 3 years
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Woke up and got immediately sad
#it feels so stupid to be sad about but I’m gonna tell y’all anyway#I sometimes tweet a lot on private and last night I was having a good time and made two edits and everything and shared them on priv and my#monkees twt and kpop twt because one overlapped and one was just classic rock#and like I posted them at 5am so I don’t expect my mutuals on Monkee twt to see that’s fine#but my friend has told me before that he reads every tweet and that sometimes it’s the first thing he does in the morning#and like idc when he does it I just want him to see my tweets because I see every single one of his even if I don’t want to#because idk if anyone else on my priv sees them but if at least one person does then it wasn’t for nothing if that makes sense#like on here I vent in tags and shit and I usually get a like on the post which at least to me means you heard me yknow?#being heard is such a huge thing to me and not being heard on top of my friend basically lying to me hurts so much#I worked so hard on that one edit too and not to mention the zine I made a while back and posted that he never saw#my other friend didn’t see it either but I went over to his house the next day so I just showed him no big deal#I just hate putting effort into something and posting it and waiting for him to wake up only to get no reaction#like I did my entire homescreen and he knew I was doing it that night and I posted the finished product but he only saw it yesterday when we#were on the phone because I was trying to help him with something so I screenrecorded me doing it and he saw part of my homescreen and got#excited and so I sent the photos but I didn’t mentioned I posted them on twt because I didn’t wanna sound petty but I just am#like I’m bad at texting directly so posting on priv is how I relay info most of the time and I know I’ve told him I’m bad at messaging first#idk I just hhh I wanna be heard I don’t wanna say shit and no one listen like I keep talking about being a Monkee historian and shit on priv#and he hasn’t seen any of it not a fucking word and I really think it truly is my dream job this time hhhh#I have like five priv followers and yet I only hold him to that standard but I know why it’s because I see every tweet of his on every acc#of his that I follow#I’ve said before that I see every tweet because I don’t always like every tweet especially if I don’t feel well#I feel stupid and annoying for being upset but also hhhhh I’ve watched him do it before and blow up my notifs it makes me feel so good why#has he just not done that lately why doesn’t he look at them anymore if I post while he’s asleep he just doesn’t see them anymore it hurts#so fucking much especially because my dumbass self keeps seeing all of his I feel stupid hhhh
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