#moi tsar

[wexpyke]

PATRICK GIBSON as KING NIKOLAI LANTSOV in SHADOW AND BONE 2x08 “No Funerals”

#nikolai lantsov #sabedit #shadowandboneedit #shadowandbonecentral #shadowandbonesource #grishaverseedit #shadow and boneedit #patrickgibsonedit #nikolailantsovedit #sab spoilers #sobachka moi tsar... #mine: nikolai #mine: gif

[theowritesstuff]

Yours No More

Nikolai Lantsov x gn!healer!reader

Summary: Hiding an almost-relationship with the Prince of Ravka is hard enough, but it gets even harder to navigate feelings when he’s engaged to a Saint

Prompts: “are you really so oblivious?” & “it hurts, just how much I ache for you.”

A/N: What can I say? I love writing healer!reader. Also once again I’m mixing book canon and show canon

Sobachka - puppy

Moi tsarevich - my prince

Moi tsar - my king

SHADOW & BONE S2 SPOILERS

When thinking about your life, the young prince of Ravka seemed to be a prominent feature. There was before Nikolai, the life you lived before the palace, then there was after Nikolai, the life surrounded by other Grisha, serving the royal family.

You were offered up to the Lantsovs as somewhat of a personal healer, ready to tend to them whenever needed. The king and queen didn’t really have a need for a healer most of the time, and the older prince was often far from the palace. They younger prince however, the sobachka, had a tendency to dive headfirst into danger whenever he liked.

While this very well could have made Nikolai a thorn in your side, you’d quickly grown fond of him. It was impossible not to, what with his crystalline blue eyes, the blonde waves that adorned his head, and his charming, carefree spirit.

You’d been given an easy role. You’ve seen how other Grisha are treated amongst the other royals, sometimes even the soldiers from the First Army. Your poor friend Genya was dealt a terrible hand when it came to the roll she played in the palace, so you were grateful for the young prince’s kindness.

He became just as infatuated with you as you did with him just as quickly though. Whenever you ran to him healing a scraped knee, or when his parents sent you with him when he joined the First Army specifically to tend to him, you stole his heart little by little, until he could no longer call it his own. He almost looked forward to getting hurt, because it meant he could call upon you.

If asked he’d deny it, but he begged his parents to let him take you with him whilst he studied for his apprenticeship. They were hesitant to send you away, to lose their best healer, but Nikolai was persuasive.

He asked you to tailor him, just enough that no one would recognize the prince of Ravka on a ship. You reluctantly agreed, slowly waving your hands over his face, changing the features you’d grown to find comfort in. His blonde waves now a bright red, stark against his pale skin. His once sparkling blue eyes were now a muddy green color. The only thing that really remained of your prince was the ever present smirk he had.

“How do I look?” He asked you.

“Different.” You nodded.

“Good. No one will be able to pick me out of a crowd.” He looks over himself in a mirror.

“I could.” You stand behind him. “I think it’d be quite easy to pick you out.”

He smiles, but furrows his brows. “How so?”

“Well, let’s start with your posture. You’re still too regal. Relax your shoulders a bit. You’re no longer carrying the weight of a prince.” You place your hands on his shoulders, using your thumbs to massage the muscles. “Then there’s your charm-”

He quickly turns his head to face you, a bold smirk resting on his face. “You think I’m charming?”

You laugh. “I think you’re confident, sometimes overly so. I think you have this air about you that draws others to you.”

“Are you?” He asks, his voice barely above a murmur.

“Am I what?”

“Drawn to me?” He leans closer to you, his eyes shifting down to your lips.

Before he could press his lips to yours a sharp knock sounded from the door. You pulled away from each other quickly, both trying to hide your flustered states.

“Come in.” Nikolai called.

Tamar opened the door and poked her head in. “Love the new look captain.” She laughed. “Ready to go?”

Sailing the seas with Sturmhond took some getting used to. The few Grisha you knew helped you settle into this new life, while others in the crew wondered why their captain kept a healer so close.

You shared a bunk with a few of the other crew mates, but more often than not, Nikolai pulled you away to the captain’s quarters. He wanted to keep you close to him.

“What if someone breaks into my room and stabs me?” He asked, shrugging.

You shook your head. “Then you’d probably want the Bataar twins here to protect you.”

“Here I’d be. Laying on the floor, blood pooling out of my chest.” He collapses to the floor with a loud thud, a hand over his chest. “Slowly letting the life drain from my body.” He closes his eyes for a moment.

“Don’t be so dramatic sobachka. I know you wouldn’t take death laying down. You’d fight it until your very last moment.” You roll your eyes at him, but can’t help your smile from growing. “Even then, you’d probably drag your corpse to me.”

“I would.”

Occasionally, in the quiet night, he’ll allow you to wipe away the tailored face you’ve created for him, and bring back his softer Lantsov features. You brush a hand through his gold locks, pushing them away from his face.

He lets you admire him in silence. A clever quip waiting on the tip of his tongue, but he never allows it to escape in fear that it will ruin these moments with you.

“Moi tsarevich.” You sigh as your fingertips travel from his hair down the side of his face, tracing over his cheekbones.

“You don’t have to call me that.” He whispers to you. His eyes remain locked on yours as yours travel around his face, memorizing every detail of him.

“Nikolai then.” You give him a soft smile.

You reluctantly pull yourself away from him after a while, ready to tailor him back into his privateer persona. “It’s probably time for Sturmhond to return.”

“You sound disappointed.”

“Well,” now you smirk at him. “I think the prince is decidedly more handsome than the pirate.”

“Privateer. It’s an-”

“Important distinction. Yes, I know.” You laugh as you slowly tailor him back into Sturmhond.

Once finished you walk over to the other side of the room, where he’s added a bunk specifically for you. You blow out the few candles that were lit, and climb into your bunk.

“Y/n?” Nikolai calls from the other side of the room.

“Yes?”

“Do you really think I’m handsome?” You can hear his grin.

“Good night Nik.” You roll your eyes affectionately, rolling over to face the wall.

He falls asleep with a smile on his face, your new nickname for him floating around in his head.

You’d fallen into an easy routine with Nikolai aboard the Volkvony. You spent time with the crew during the day, tending to injuries, sometimes even practicing the heartrender specialties with Tolya or Tamar. Then the evenings you’d spend with Nikolai. You keep him company as he makes plans for where the ship is going and why, you show him what the twins have taught you.

“Watch this, I can adjust your heartbeat a little bit!”

He watches as you do the heartrender motions in front of his chest. He can feel his heartbeat quicken just a little bit, but whether it’s from your powers or your close proximity he’s unsure.

“You don’t need to use your powers to make my heart speed up.” He takes your hands in his and holds them to his chest. You feel his heartbeat through the thick blue coat he’s got on, and sure enough it’s beating faster than usual.

He’s smirking down at you, proud of how flustered he’s seemed to make you as you pull your hands away from his chest. You excuse yourself, and quickly leave him there, wondering whether or not he holds the same power over your heart that you do his.

Evenings are spent sharing moments with Nikolai, both of you teetering on the line that divides friendship and more. Quiet moments shared where you both wonder what would happen if you crossed that line. If you just leaned into each other, and took what your hearts most desired.

When Nikolai had taken in Alina Starkov and Mal Oretsev you were nervous. You knew Nikolai had a penchant for adventure, but harboring the sun summoner and a deserted First Army soldier was an entirely new venture.

You knew that he wanted to take them back to Ravka, to regroup with the First and Second Army there to find a way to destroy the Fold and take down Kirigan. He helped them find and kill the sea whip, giving Alina another amplifier to use, while you stayed behind on the ship, away from the danger.

Nikolai grew closer and closer to Alina as time went on, well after she learned who he actually was then punched him out of frustration. It was clear he was trying to create some sort of relationship with her, a type of alliance between the Ravkan royals and the living Saint.

Whilst Alina became closer with the prince, you started to form a bond with Mal. He was a bit hesitant about you at first, having a hand in keeping Nikolai’s identity a secret was a little hard to forgive, but he found you were a nice change from the air that Nikolai brought with him wherever he went.

“You spend practically every minute with him. You must find him insufferable.” Mal scoffs, watching Nikolai attempt to win over Alina.

It breaks your heart a little, watching him with her. It almost feels like you’ve been pushed to the side in his life. What was once a life long friendship has now turned into a mere partnership. He’s replaced you in his heart with a new Grisha, one much more powerful than you.

“No.” You shake your head. “His company means the world to me.” You tell Mal, quiet enough so he’s the only one that hears you. “You know what that’s like though. To spend so much of your life with someone that you form what you think is an unbreakable bond with one another.”

He gives you a sympathetic smile. He feels the same way. He knows Alina loves him, he’s sure of it, but like you, he fears that something could pull her away from him.

Being back in the palace separates you even more from Nikolai. Instead of sharing a room with him, you now occupy a room at the other end of a hallway from him. You both long for one another in the quiet night. His room is far too empty, and his bed far too large for just himself.

You think that maybe he’ll ask you to stay with him, like on the Volkvony. That you’ll share a space with him again and you’ll have that little bit of peace you once shared. But he never comes to your door, and you never go to his.

Nikolai doesn’t fail to notice your relationship with Mal starting to grow. While you once sat by his side during meals, Alina now occupies your seat, and you sit with Mal, laughing with each other about something only the two of you can hear.

He feels something in his chest, a sharp pain to his heart. This is something even you, the best healer he’s ever known, couldn’t fix.

You feel the same pain when he announces his engagement to the sun summoner. Unlike Nikolai, it takes a moment. He announces it at dinner, while the First and Second armies are gathered together, that their marriage will help heal Ravka. You’re frozen, too shocked to move. It’s Mal that pulls you back to reality, his hand on yours.

You feel the pain in your chest, a twisting sensation in your stomach, as you turn away from Mal to look back at Nikolai. He’s looking around at the cheering soldiers, but his eyes catch yours for a moment. He sees the red that begins to outline them, and the tears welling up. He looks like he might go to you, to assure you that you have his heart, and not Alina. But he straightens himself out, then sits back down.

He desperately wants to follow you as you quickly exit the room, no doubt heading back to yours. He wants to chase you down the halls, to wrap you up in his arms and wipe away the tears he’s the cause of, to whisper words of love against your lips. But he can’t. He must marry Alina for the sake of his country.

He keeps an eye on you at the engagement party his mother threw for him. You’re talking with other Grisha. You look breathtaking. The only thing missing from your ensemble is the Lantsov emerald. You don’t spare him one glance at all that night. That is, until chaos ensues.

Shadow monsters destroy everything in sight, and take the lives of so many. You search for Nikolai in the bustling crowd, but a hand grabs your arm, pulling you away. Zoya drags you away from the scene before you, tugging you through numerous hallways.

She leads you to a series of tunnels underground, all while you try to pull away from her.

“You won’t be of any use if you die trying to save the prince.” She grumbles at you. “You’re one of the few healers here, and we’re going to need all the help we can get.”

You hate to admit it, but as usual she’s right. There are dozens injured, some worse than others. You’re about to get to work when someone calls out your name.

You look down to the other end of the hall to see Nikolai. He looks fine, no visible injuries, but he does look distraught. He practically sprints to you, and pulls you into a tight hug.

“I couldn’t find you. You weren’t there, and I thought-”

“I’m fine, I’m fine Nik.” You pull away just enough to be able to look him in the eyes.

His scan over you, searching for injuries, until you lift his chin so he’s looking at your face again.

“I’m okay, I promise.”

He nods and takes a deep breath.

“Besides, shouldn’t I be the one worried about you? I am your healer after all.”

He huffs out a laugh. “Right.”

Alina pulls Nikolai away, asking if he’d seen Mal anywhere. You take that as your cue to leave. You start going from person to person, helping heal them in any way you can.

When it comes time to make a plan for Ravka’s next move, and Nikolai and Alina suggest finding the Neshyenyer, your mind starts to wonder. He’s sending Tolya and Zoya to go to Ketterdam and recruit the Crows to find it.

You think selfishly for a moment. It would be a way to get away from the soon to be king and queen of Ravka. A way to alleviate your heart of the pain you feel when you’re around them.

“I’d like to accompany Tolya and Zoya.” You tell him.

He looks surprised to say the least. “Why?”

“Well, there will be seven people looking for a mystical weapon, danger is bound to arise, they may need a healer.” You attempt to convince yourself and him that this is the reason you’d like to go.

“No. You’ll stay here.” He shakes his head. He can’t fathom so much space between you. “You’re my healer.” He puts emphasis on the word my, you don’t know if he notices it, but you do.

You listen intently for his heartbeat. It’s pace slowly accelerates as he starts to pace around the room.

You step in front of him, blocking his continuous path, and take his hands in yours. He closes his eyes, relishing in the feeling of having you so near. He leans his forehead against yours.

“I think we both know, I am yours no more sobachka.” You murmur.

He shakes his head and opens his eyes. You can see tears slowly start to build up. “If you insist that you must go, take this.” He reaches into his pocket, and pulls out his gold compass. “So you can always find your way back home.” Back to me.

The trip to Shu Han was definitely an eventful one. Tolya kept a watchful eye on you after being told explicitly by Nikolai to protect you at all costs. The Crows were an eclectic bunch, no one quite like the other.

Seeing Nina again was nice. She was still the same witty friend you remembered her to be.

“What? The prince let you off your leash?” She laughs when she first sees you.

“The king.” Zoya corrects her.

“Yes, he’s tending to his country, and his soon to be wife at the moment.” You tell her.

Her face falls slightly as she looks between you and Zoya. “Oh. My apologies, I didn’t-”

“It’s alright Nina. I’m really here to help forget about him.” You lower your voice. “Besides, he was never mine to lose.”

You stayed with Tolya through the heist, getting nearly killed by poisonous gas, and choking down a butterfly to save yourself.

Other than the poison slowly making its way through your body, the gas didn’t harm you physically. It lulled you to sleep, pulling you into a sweet dream.

You were with Nikolai, of course, in the palace. Light shone into his room from the large window, making the gold in his unkempt hair shine. His arms were wrapped tightly around you as you both lay the soft sheets of his bed.

“Hello my love.” His voice is deep, still strained from sleep.

“Moi tsar-”

He nuzzles his face into the crook of you neck, pressing soft kisses against the column of your throat. “How many times do I have to tell you not to call me that.” You can feel him smiling against you.

“Pirate Prince then.” You smirk.

He scoffs, then pulls away from his assault on your neck to look at you. “I wish we could stay like this forever.” He says, moving to cup your face with one of his hands.

You reach a hand up onto his bare chest, just over his heart. You listen, searching for the all too familiar rhythm, but you don’t hear anything. You give him a sad smile and shake your head. “Me too Nik. But I know this isn’t real.”

He pouts. “Promise me you’ll come back. Back to the palace. That you won’t find a new life in Shu Han, or Ketterdam.”

You know he isn’t real, that he isn’t actually asking you to come home to him, that it’s just what you wish he’d do. Even so, you press a kiss to his cheek.

“I promise.”

You wake with a burning sensation in your throat, in the dark temple. Tolya and the Crows are with you, some in a coughing fit, others completely silent.

Tolya comes over to you, and rests a hand on your shoulder. “Are you alright?”

You nod. “Yeah, I’m alright.”

His eyes scan your face. “What did you see?”

You know he can hear your heartbeat spike. He glances down at your hand as you subconsciously reach for the compass that hangs around your neck, hidden under you clothes. You know you won’t get away with lying to him, but you do it anyways. “Nothing.”

You’re grateful that he doesn’t push for an answer.

After retrieving the blade, you all head back to Ravka together. The Fold has now expanded, nearly covering the entirety of the Spinning Wheel.

“Stay with Zoya.” Tolya tells you. “You’ll be able to help Alina.”

Your heart yearns to go with the other group, to find Nikolai, but you know saving the sun summoner takes precedence over anything at the moment.

“I’m sure he’ll be okay.” Nina tries to assure you. “He was always headstrong.”

Kaz glances at you as you wring your hands, about to follow Zoya, Nina, and Inej.

“Y/n.” He calls to you. He walks over to you and speaks lowly. “Watch over my wraith, and I’ll keep an eye on your king.”

You give him a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

The journey into the Fold was terrifying. You kept yourself as silent as possible as the four of you searched for Alina. She and Mal were near the edge of the fold, fighting what looked to be a volcra. It had a hold of Alina’s hair, pulling her further into the darkness.

Inej slashed the monster with the Neshyenyer, killing it. They both looked grateful to see your little group.

“We need to get further into the Fold to destroy it.” Alina nods her head towards what looks to be nothing but pitch black.

You check over Alina for any injuries as you head further into the darkness. You heal any small cuts or scrapes you find on her, quietly watching her skin mend back together.

“There. In perfect condition to destroy the Fold and save Ravka.”

She snorts out a laugh. “No pressure, right?” She creates a small bundle of light in her hand and stares at it.

You smile at her. You want to dislike her, but you can’t. The living Saint who has stolen Nikolai’s attention from you is actually amiable. She’s kind, very brave, and willing to do anything to end this war.

“You’re going to make the perfect queen when this is all over.” You tell her.

She looks up at you and shakes her head. “I never wanted this. Nikolai thinks this engagement will strengthen Ravka, but I know my heart belongs to another.” She glances to Mal. “Just as his does too.” She turns back to you with a pointed look.

“What do you mean?”

“He doesn’t love me. I don’t think he could love anyone the way he loves you.”

“He doesn’t-”

“Oh, I assure you. He does.” She scoffs. “When I accepted his proposal I thought that maybe we could learn to love each other, but I see the way he looks at you. I hear the way he talks about you. I may be the sun summoner, but to him you’re the brightest. You’re the shining light in his life.”

You feel warmth spread across your face. Did Nikolai really feel that way about you?

“If we succeed today, the crown may be mine, but I promise you, the heart of the king will be yours.”

You understood just how strong shared love could be when you saw Alina light the fold. Combined with Mal’s power she was able to cast an immense light into the darkness. Flashes of gold and pink spread around you.

Kirigan arrived not long after, ready to fight Alina, but she was able to assail him. You rushed to Mal’s side when he collapsed, trying your hardest to help him. Kirigan had delivered a near fatal blow. In all your years of healing Nikolai, you’ve never had to heal something this large.

Alina falls to her knees next to you, taking his hand in hers. You do everything you can for him, focusing all of your power on keeping him alive.

Streaks of light flew from Alina. Reds, purples, and golds flashed through the sky, breaking apart the Fold. She takes a dagger from Mal’s side, and plunges it into his chest, screaming out as bright blue lights surrounds you. You shield your eyes, but can still see the blue behind your eyelids.

When you open your eyes again, the Fold has dissipated.

“Can you heal him?” Alina asks you, with tears down her cheeks.

“I’ll try.” You nod at her, then turn your attention back to the now unconscious boy.

Kirigan slowly rises up, and walks towards you. Alina stands up, taking a protective step in front of you and Mal.

“Now, you know sacrifice.”

“Beyond anything you’ve ever known.” Alina tilts her head up at him. “And look what it did.”

“Indeed. Look what it did.”

You try to start Mal’s heart again, but can’t seem to get it. Nina kneels down next to you, lifting her hand to his chest.

“I’ll get his heart started again. You focus on the wound.”

You take a deep breath, then pull the knife out of him, quickly moving your hands to sew his skin back together.

You’re so focused on saving Mal, that you don’t realize Alina has knelt down next to you again.

“He’s putting up a good fight, this one. Like something’s holding him on the other side. Give him a reminder then, of what matters over here.” Nina tells her.

After a few moments Mal wakes up, gasping for air. You sigh in relief, leaning back to check over the rest of the group. Inej and Zoya are both unharmed, staring down at Kirigan’s body.

Zoya stays with the body, while the other five of you start the hike back to the Spinning Wheel. Your spirits lift as you get closer and closer, and enter through one of the walls.

There are bodies strewn about on the ground, and groups of people gathered with hushed conversations. Their attention all turns towards your group as you enter though. Most of them are watching Alina, giving her silent thanks for finally destroying the Fold. Kaz’s eyes are locked on Inej, only briefly scanning over her, before he looks to you and gives you a slight nod.

You look past him to see Nikolai sitting with Tolya and Tamar. He’s got blood smeared on the side of his head, and he struggles to rise to his feet. He can’t seem to take his eyes off you, slowly limping in your direction. You rush to him, holding his waist with one hand, and the other pressed against his chest.

“Nik, what happened? I leave you alone for a few days and you nearly get yourself killed.” Your words are teasing, but your tone doesn’t quite match.

“I’m okay.” He smiles at you.

“Let’s go sit down so I can heal you, alright?” You guide him away from the group to a more private area. He sits down on a crate, groaning at the pain in his leg.

You heal his leg, then sit next to him, with your hand hovering over the wound on his head. He’ll have to wash the dried blood off, but you’ve closed the wound.

His eyes wander over your face as you heal him. He feels whole, complete with you here next to him.

“I should go see if anyone else needs any help.” You say quietly, rising to your feet.

He grabs your hand in his, softly pulling you down next to him again. “Allow me to be selfish for a moment, and keep you here all for myself.”

You reach into your top, and pull the compass out from underneath it. You lift the chain up over your head and hold it out for him.

“It seems you need it more than I do.”

“No.” He closes your hands over it. “It kept you safe. And it brought you back to me.” He whispers.

His eyes glance down at your lips, then back into your eyes. It looks like he’s having an internal battle with himself. A battle that only ends when he leans forward and brushes his lips against yours. You lift your hands to his shoulders to steady yourself. He pulls you closer to him, deepening the kiss.

Everything comes rushing back to you in that moment. You softly push him away, breaking the kiss, and turn your head from him.

“What? What’s wrong?” He asks, reaching for your hand again.

You pull your hand away from his reach quickly. “This isn’t right Nikolai.” You stand up and take a step away from him. “We can’t do this, not when you’re engaged to Alina. I can’t-”

He’s quick to get up and move to stand in front of you. “Y/n, I assure you, my heart belongs to you.”

“You can’t say that Nikolai. You can’t just play around with my feelings.” You shake your head and wipe away the tears started to form in your eyes.

“Play with your feelings? Are you really so oblivious?” He scoffs. He takes your hands and holds them to his chest. “Listen to my heart. Hear the way it beats for you, just for you.” He takes a tentative step closer, so close to you that his nose brushes against the tip of yours. “It hurts, just how much I ache for you.”

“But Alina-”

“Was just a political move. I thought that an alliance with the sun summoner would strengthen Ravka.” He takes a deep breath. “But a marriage with her wouldn’t mean anything to me, not when I could’ve had you.”

“Nik…” You trail off, attempting to gather your thoughts.

He lets go of your hands, and moves to hold your face. “Tell me to leave. Tell me you never want to see me again, that you’re going to leave and live in Ketterdam, and I promise you, you won’t ever have to deal with me ever again.”

You can’t fathom doing any of that.

“Or, tell me that you’ll stay here with me, and that we’ll work this out. Tell me that you feel the same way I do. Because I will find a way to rule Ravka with you by my side, I swear to you.”

A smile starts to spread across your face. “You always have been stubborn sobachka.”

Before he can retort you pull him into a kiss, sealing your own promise to him, that your heart does in fact belong to him.

#nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #grishaverse

[in-my-feels-probably]

hi hi hi!!! i saw that you were open to shadow and bone requests and i was wondering if you’d be willing to write a nikolai lantsov imagine? just imagine princess!reader being forced into an arranged marriage with the second son of the king of ravka, and instead of going through with it she runs away. she then stumbles upon a particularly charming privateer who just so manages to win over her heart……

Enchanted

Request: hi hi hi!!! i saw that you were open to shadow and bone requests and i was wondering if you’d be willing to write a nikolai lantsov imagine? just imagine princess!reader being forced into an arranged marriage with the second son of the king of ravka, and instead of going through with it she runs away. she then stumbles upon a particularly charming privateer who just so manages to win over her heart…

and: btw I saw your post about sab season 2 and i would like to request something with nikolai. i dont really have any ideas but i love that blonde boy so anything that you'll write with him is going to make me happy- but if its angst please im begging for a happy ending im already depressed because im reading rules of wolves

and: omg omg omg enchanted x nikolai sounds so perfect 😭 literally written for him

Hi! I absolutely adore these requests, thank you for sending them in. And sorry for the long wait, I’ve been a bit busy. And please bear with me while I try and get the hang of writing for Nikolai, this is only my second time. Also, this request was combined with two others, I hope that’s alright, and sorry for anyone who’s request was altered a little bit to fit this story. I’m happy to accept another request if you don’t like this one. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this! 

(Warnings: arranged marriage, swearing, very very brief angst, very vague suggestive content, drinking, let me know if i missed anything)

—

You had nearly begged on your knees when you found out you were to be wed, pleading with your parents’ advisors. 

You were no fool. You knew that one day you’d have to marry, and you were prepared to do your duty. A Princess isn’t awarded the luxury of a choice, and you knew any match that was made probably wouldn’t be from a place of love. But you never thought your parents would be prepared to ship you off to a man none of you had ever even laid eyes on, and that’s including the advisors.

A second son, and a rumored bastard at that. It was all happening too fast, and you weren’t having an easy time processing it. 

“You can’t send me! We already have an alliance with Ravka, why send me still?”

One of the men had stood, trying to ease you. “You must go, Princess. We may have an alliance, but our forces need to be strengthened. Prince Vasily is already spoken for. Marrying you to Prince Nikolai is the fastest way.”

“I am told he is charming, if it is any consolation,” another man said, though his voice was firmer. “It is time, Princess, for you to do your duty. You will marry.”

You finally relented, your fate beginning to set in. “That’s it, then. When will I be expected to leave?”

There was a moment of silence, and an awkward shuffling of feet as the advisors stood. And then one of the men spoke, sending dread running through you like ice in your veins. 

“Your arrival is set for the end of the week. The King and Queen are expecting you.”

—

The journey passed far quicker than you had anticipated. A trip like that should have been grueling, yet each moment felt more fleeting than the last. By the time you arrived on Ravkan soil, you would practically be theirs. Upon your arrival, you were escorted to the Great Hall to meet the King and Queen. 

“Moi tsar,” you curtsied, keeping your eyes low. “Moi tsaritsa. It is an honor.”

The words tasted sour on your tongue, but you spoke them anyway. The King and Queen were not known to be the kindest of people, and you’d rather spend your time in a foreign country on the good side of the sovereign. 

“Princess,” the King greeted as he stood, his eyes racking your body. “You are as beautiful as they say. My son will be pleased. Unfortunately, your arrival has preceded his. He attended a meeting with our generals, and is set to arrive in a few days. The wedding will be in a fortnight. Until then, please enjoy our hospitality. I look forward to this new found alliance between our great countries.”

“As do I,” you said, forcing a smile. 

—

As the days passed, you grew more uneasy. The weight of your duties were beginning to drag you down, and you didn’t know if you could bear the burden any longer. 

Nikolai had yet to return to court, but with his inevitable arrival looming, it became harder to face each day. You were practically alone in the castle, having yet to make any friends. And you doubted the arrival of a Prince—the subject of scandalous rumors—would do anything to lessen the loneliness and fear you felt every night. 

One evening, the pressure became too great.

Despite your duties, and the anger you knew both countries would feel towards you, you fled. It was a rash decision, and a stupid one at that. But it was the only option that could give you your freedom, so you took it.

It led you all the way down to the harbor, which you briskly made your way to with little more than the clothes on your back.

Your window of opportunity was closing, and you took it. In mere hours, someone would notice you were missing from your room. Guards would be sent all throughout the palace, and they’d track you down if you weren’t quick enough. One way or another, you would marry the second Prince of Ravka. You’d be forced to. And although the thought of being alone in an open country you knew next to nothing about terrified you, it was less terrifying than the thought of being trapped in that castle forever. 

So you went. Fled, more accurately. All the way to the harbor, in nothing but a dress and cloak, with a bag of coins hidden in your skirts. 

As you approached the harbor, the shout of guards could be heard in the distance. “Spread out! She cannot have gone far.”

The Kingsguard.

You felt your chest tighten as you quickened your pace, pulling your hood over your head. You rushed as inconspicuously as you could, clambering to get as far from the palace as possible. Suddenly, you felt a hand on your wrist. 

“What’s the rush for, My Lady? You’re going to hurt yourself running in those shoes,” the woman said, her brows furrowing.

You stopped in your tracks to take her in, realizing she was standing next to a much larger man. She had axes sheathed at her waist, and a confused but intrigued grin. 

“Please, excuse me—” You stuttered out, trying to pull away.

“There’s no need to be afraid,” the man said, in a tone much gentler than his appearance. “We mean you no harm. What are you running from?”

“I need to get away from here, and fast,” you pleaded, deciding to trust these people who stopped you. 

“That wasn’t an answer to our question,” the woman said, easing her grip. 

You let out a frustrated sigh, turning to look over your shoulder before turning back. “Please, I’ll pay you whatever you want. Just let me go. I have to get out of here, and quickly.”

The woman shared a glance with the man, and for a minute, you were beginning to think you had been found out. They somehow recognized you, and would know that the castle guards were looking for you. If that was true, the pair didn’t show it, looking back at you. 

“We have a ship,” the man finally said, gesturing behind him. “And a captain. A name you’d perhaps recognize. Sturmhond.”

Sturmhond, you thought to yourself. The richest pirate on the True Sea? What was he doing in a port in Ravka? You shook your head, having no time for questions. 

“Would he grant me safe passage? I can pay, I have the means. Please, I need to know if this is my only option of getting out of here. I haven’t done anything illegal, I promise. I just need to go.”

The woman laughed, her relaxed disposition beginning to ease you. “Illegal would have been more fun. Don’t worry, Princess. We’ll take you to our captain. You’ll be safe with us.”

Your eyes widened, and you stepped back to retreat, when the man raised his hands in surrender. 

“We mean you no harm, Princess. Clearly, you’re in trouble, and we have the means to get you away from the palace.”

“Trust me,” the woman said, offering you her hand. “We have no wish to return to the palace.. I’m sure our captain isn’t too keen, either.”

You looked between the ship and back at the castle uneasily, when you heard another shout coming from the guards marching through the village. You turned towards the man and woman, who you just realized looked very similar. Siblings, perhaps, who had just gotten back from a journey at sea.

“Sturmhond is quite the character, but he’s a good man. You have my word,” the man said. 

“Alright,” you said, making your decision as you took the woman’s hand. “I’ll go. Thank you, uh…”

You trailed off, making the man smile. He led you towards a nearby ship, helping you climb your way onto it. 

“I’m Tolya, and that’s my sister Tamar. We’re part of Sturmhond’s crew. Come along, he’ll want to meet you.”

They quickly led you aboard a ship, ushering the crew to cast off. The crew looked around with confused faces, but listened anyway. As the ship slowly left the harbor, you were led downstairs to the cabins below. 

“Captain,” Tamar called, knocking on the first doorway below deck, before opening the door herself. 

“Do you want to tell me why my ship is moving away from the dock?” Sturmhond asked without turning around, shuffling through his cabin as he pulled on his coat. 

You cleared your throat. “That would be because of me, I think.”

Sturmhond turned around at the sound of your voice, his eyes widening as he took you in. “I don’t believe it. Good evening, Princess. I do hope you are well. Tamar and Tolya have treated you kindly, I expect?”

You shrunk under his gaze, letting out a nervous chuckle. “Is my title that easy to spot? You’re the second to figure it out, is it something I’m doing?”

“Tamar has a keen eye,” Sturmond shrugged, grinning. “But you’re also wearing an evening gown fit for court, and the jewels around your neck could buy a small country. Those things aren’t exactly subtle, darling. Even with that cloak.”

You nodded, still nervous but relaxing with his calm demeanor. “I was told you could grant me passage away from the palace? I can pay, I don’t expect you to do this out of the kindness of your heart. But seeing as we’ve already left the harbor, I don’t think you have any other option but to take me with you. Unless you intend on throwing me overboard into the bay, although I’ll thank you kindly not to do that.”

“In that dress? You’d sink to the bottom, darling. There’s no need to worry, Princess. You’ll stay dry on deck, that I can assure you,” he chuckled, motioning for you to sit. 

“We’ll inform the crew our trip has been extended,” Tamar announced, pulling Tolya behind her to leave the cabin. 

You sat in the chair on the other side of Sturmhond’s desk, and he sat across from you. He offered you a kind smile, one that surprised you. You had heard plenty about the infamous privateer. You hadn’t expected him to be this young and handsome. His reputation matched that of an old tycoon, not of what appeared to be an ex soldier. He looked at you with curiosity, motioning for you to speak. 

“So, would you like to explain to me why my ship is sailing back out to sea? Not that I’m upset or anything, I was dreading my return to Ravka myself. But as I understand it, you were asked to come to Ravka to strengthen a political alliance—”

“And how would you know about that?” You interrupted, raising a brow. 

He smiled, shrugging. “I have my ways. It pays to know lots of things about lots of things. Including which Princesses are being married off to far away royalty.”

“Do you know him?” You asked, your voice a little unstable. “The Prince, I mean. Nikolai. I could hardly find anyone who knew him, and any knowledge of him was limited. I went into this alliance blind, thanks to my parents and advisors.”

Sturmhond’s grin widened as he nodded. “I do know him, yes. We were briefly acquainted some time ago.”

“And?”

“He’s alright,” Sturmhond laughed, leaning back in his seat. “Dashingly handsome. A bit cocky for my taste, perhaps a little spoiled, but what royalty isn’t, right? No offense.”

You smiled, shaking your head. “None taken.”

“I suppose you’re lucky in that you’re set to marry him, and not the Crown Prince. Vasily is—how should I put this—well…”

“A bastard?” You finished, making Sturmhond chuckle, nodding. 

“He is, yes. Nikolai is, in another manner of speaking, the same as well. Is that why you’re running? You don’t want to risk your reputation on a second son who may not even be the second son?”

Sturmhond looked at you through curious eyes, although there was a little apprehension in them. A little vulnerability that you didn’t quite know what to make of. You shook your head, inadvertently easing his thoughts. 

“It’s just rumors, Sturmhond. Whether there is any truth to them, I don’t know, and I don’t care. History records names, not blood. A true Lantsov or not, it doesn’t matter to me. It’s not Nikolai’s fault who his true parents are, and he shouldn’t have to bear the consequences of their actions. All that matters to my parents is what he means for my country. His reputation doesn’t affect that.”

“And what matters to you?” Sturmhond asked, his eyes softening. “Your secrets are safe with me, and I promise to not throw you overboard for whatever your answers are. Why are you running, Princess?”

You sat in silence for a moment, letting out a heavy sigh. Sturmhond politely waisted for you to start, nodding encouragingly for you to speak. 

You fiddled with your hands in your lap nervously. “Nikolai’s blood doesn’t matter to me, truly. All that really matters is that he has a kind heart, and he makes living at Ravkan court for the rest of my life more bearable.” 

Sturmhond nodded as he listened intently. You continued.

“From what I hear, he’s a perfectly good man. Compared to my list of options, he was probably the best I could have hoped for.”

“Was? Or is? Do you intend on running forever? Seems like a waste of time in what is already a fleeting existence, Princess,” he said quietly. 

“I know,” you nodded, growing frustrated. “I don’t know why I did it. I just thought about being alone at court for the rest of my life, and even the promise of a semi decent Prince wasn’t enough to ease my fears. I just wanted control over my own life for once, you know? My own freedom. It was a rash decision, I admit. But it seems to be working well in my favor so far.”

Sturmhond nodded, standing up from his desk to pour two glasses of whiskey. You downed yours the second he placed it in front of you, deciding it was better to let the second one sit when he refilled your glass.

“And Nikolai? What are his thoughts on the matter?”

You shrugged, fiddling with the glass. “I don’t know. He hasn’t been at court since I arrived. I have yet to meet him. Although, once he hears of me running, I’m sure any first impressions he could have had of me are ruined.”

“I don’t know about that.”

You raised a brow, coaxing him to continue. “Really? Why is that?”

“From what I hear, Nikolai isn’t really one for court, either,” he started, shrugging. “He runs when he gets the chance, too. Why do you think he’s away from court so often?”

You pondered the thought for a minute. “I don’t know. I always assumed his duties took him elsewhere. He’s not the Crown Prince, so he doesn’t need to remain in the palace. He serves in the First Army, doesn’t he?”

Sturmhond nodded, grinning. “He does. Or, to put it more accurately, he did. I think he just loiters around neighboring countries until his Mother forces him to come home and make an appearance now.”

You chuckled, letting out a deep sigh. “Isn’t that a treat? Coming home for the first time in months, only to find out your bride to be has run away.”

“With a face like that, I doubt he’ll care much about anything once he sees you.” 

You felt the heat creep to your cheeks at his words, setting your eyes to your lap to avoid Sturmhond’s heavy gaze. You could practically hear the smirk in his voice as he breathed out a laugh. 

“Besides, I’m told the Prince isn’t expected back at court for a few more days. Plenty of time for you to decide whether or not you want me to turn this ship around. Who would I be to deny a Princess?”

You smiled, your voice soft. “And if I don’t want to turn around?”

“Well, you’re paying me. I don’t really care either way, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go,” he said, grinning as he topped your glass off. “But just between you and me, I’d do it for free. Anything for a pretty face like that. Just don’t go telling everyone I said that, I have a reputation to maintain.”

You laughed, nodding. “Don’t worry. Your secret is safe with me.”

—

You spent the next few days on the ship, feeling more and more at ease the further you made it from Ravkan shores. 

At night, you longed for home. 

Not for you parents, or any of their advisors. But for your own bed—not on a constantly rocking ship—and the familiar trill of the birds outside your window on dewy mornings. For the library in the East Wing people seemed to forget was even there, and the soup the cooks would make when a chill was in the air. For the gardens midmorning where you could escape to when you wanted to avoid all the guards constantly watching you. 

Sturmhond did a good job at keeping you distracted from saddening thoughts, though. It was sweet of him, really. Making sure you had someone with you during the day, taking all his meals with you in the evening. 

Your time on the ship was the most relaxed you had been in a long time, actually, which you attributed to him. 

Sturmhond had quite the representation amongst high society—or any society, really—and he certainly met your expectations. He was charming, and attractive. Clever and ambitious, like everyone said he was. 

You hadn’t expected him to be as attentive as he is, however. He seemed to really enjoy a new guest on the ship, one that could keep up with his banter. He didn’t make you feel like a burden like your parents so often did, actually including you in his daily routine. 

Tolya and Tamar were great, too. Kind, and funny. Fiercely loyal and protective, both of their captain and of each other. They were the kind of friends you hoped to make during your time in Ravka. 

So far, it was off to a good start. 

As the days moved on, you found yourself growing closer to Sturmhond. You tried to stop yourself in the beginning. Despite not wanting it for yourself, you were engaged to Nikolai. Falling for another man wasn’t exactly a good thing for your future

But that damned smile.

His ridiculously attractive smile, and his stupid mop of hair that had only gotten longer from his time at sea. The infuriating way he’d look at you and make you want to shrink away from his gaze, but you could never bring yourself to look away. The obnoxious green emerald ring he wore that could probably buy a small village.

He had charmed you, despite your reservations, and you were practically head over heels. It scared the absolute shit out of you. 

Tamar had of course noticed already, confronting you about it one night after dinner. She joined you on deck, sitting next to you on a crate as you watched the stars twinkle in the sky. They were so visible out at sea, away from all the lights and clutter of the cities. 

“You’re not hiding anything from me, you know,” she smirked, sneaking your flask away to take a few sips from it. 

You feigned innocence, shaking your head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Tamar.”

“Come on, darling. Let’s skip the bluffing…you like him. It’s so obvious.”

“Saints, I hope not,” you groaned, scrunching your nose up at the thought of Sturmhond finding out. 

Tamar grinned at your embarrassment, chuckling. “Don’t worry. I may not swing that way, but I know the look when I see it. He’s all puppy dog eyes and desperate looks of longing when he sees you. It’s gross, really. I can actually hear his heart skip a beat when he sees you. He likes you, too. I’d stake money on it.”

You swallowed down your excitement, trying to think rationally. “Don’t even joke about that, it’s not funny.”

“I’m serious! You’re a catch, Princess. He may be my captain, but he’d be a fool not to want you.”

“That’s sweet of you to say, but we can stop there,” you nervously chuckled. “We don’t need this going to my head. I’ll do something stupid like staying on this boat forever.”

She grinned, nudging your shoulder with hers. “Would that be so bad?”

—

The next few days, you couldn’t get Tamar’s words out of your head. You went on with your routine with Sturmhond as usual, trying not to put much thought into it. 

Your feelings for him were true, that’s for sure. 

And when you’d catch him looking at you from across the deck, you’d swear by the look in his eye that he felt something for you, too. What it was, exactly, you didn’t know. 

But it was something. 

On your last evening before you had to make a decision about where you wanted to go, you skipped dinner. You couldn’t bring yourself to go along with your usual banter with Sturmhond, beginning to feel guilty about just how close and comfortable you’d gotten with him. 

You still had a duty to your country and your family, which meant at least a little to you. Plus, it wasn’t fair to make a promise to Prince Nikolai, only to leave him hanging when he returned to Ravka. 

You were leaning against the deck railing, watching the way the moonlight bounced over the still waters. So lost in thought, you almost didn’t register Sturmhond’s approaching footsteps. 

“A bit chilly for stargazing, isn’t it?” He asked, coming to stand next to you. 

You turned to see him, smiling when you noticed he was wearing his signature blue coat. You couldn’t remember a time since you met that he wasn’t dressed to the nines, no matter what time of day it was. 

“You know, for a pirate, you don’t really look like one.” 

He grinned, gently correcting you. “A privateer, darling, not a pirate. There’s a difference, I assure you.”

“Ah, a privateer. How could I have forgotten?” You chuckled, hugging yourself in an effort to shield your arms from the biting cold. “But seriously. The emerald on your finger is the size of a walnut, and that coat is fit for royalty. I find it hard to believe a privateer does well enough to afford things as nice as those.”

“Maybe I’m just good at my job,” he retorted, that signature smirk on his face.

It was enough to stir butterflies in your stomach, making you turn to look back out at the water. His gaze lingered on you a moment, and you could feel the heat creeping up to your cheeks under the weight of his stare. 

“You’re cold,” he observed, breaking the silence.

“I’m fine,” you tried to say, but Sturmhond interrupted you.

“I can practically hear your teeth chattering,” he laughed, shrugging his coat from his shoulders. “Here. Seeing as my coat is fit for royalty, as you say, I think it’ll suit you better.”

“Sturmhond—”

“Princess,” he mirrored, smirking when you relented, letting him place it around your shoulders. 

“Thank you,” you said softly.

You turned away from the water to face him, leaning back against the bannister. His eyes flitted up and down your form at his coat wrapped around shoulders, before his eyes met yours. He took a seat on the crate behind him, leaning back and settling into the post next to him. It was quiet a moment before he finally spoke.

“You weren’t in your cabin at dinner. Where have you been?”

You sighed, fiddling with the sleeve of his coat. “Thinking.”

“Thinking? About what?”

“About my future,” you said shakily, shoulders slumping. “Both the imminent one, and the one to follow based on what I decide tonight.”

Sturmhond nodded, seemingly lost in thought. “I’ve been thinking about that, too, if I’m being honest.”

You raised a brow at his words. He’d been thinking about your future? He’d been thinking about you? The thought was both intriguing and terrifying, and you hoped the confusion on your face wasn’t too apparent.

“Well, I…I’m sorry, what?”

“Your future directly impacts me,” he quickly corrected, suddenly steeling his face and meeting your confusion with his usual grin. “Where you go I go, remember? You are paying me, after all.”

You tried to hide your disappointment, forcing a smile. It was a foolish hope to have, that he’d think something more of you. But it wasn’t a hope you were ready to give up. 

Not just yet, at least. 

He seemed to notice your disappointment, brows furrowing. “Have I upset you?”

“No,” you quickly replied, trying to brush it off with a laugh. “No, it’s not you. I’m just not quite sure what I should do. I know you need an answer, and Ravka needs an answer, but…I don’t have one yet.”

“Why?” 

You shook your head, sighing in frustration. “Earlier, I had more than halfway made up my mind. I value my freedom, but I think I value my dignity more. I don’t think I could go anywhere and face anyone, knowing I’ve turned my back on my duties. It may have not been a promise I made for myself personally, but it is a promise I had every intention of keeping.”

“Then what’s stopping you?” He asked, a genuine look of concern on his face.

His eyes softened on you as your face fell, and you turned away from him as you felt heat creep up to your cheeks. You could hear him stand and approach you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him. 

“Princess?” He asked, only worsening your embarrassment. 

He spoke again, finally getting you to acknowledge him. “You’re worrying me, darling. Surely it cannot be that bad.”

“But it is,” you groaned, pressing the heels of your palms into your eyes to stave off the tears you could feel brewing. 

“Try me,” he said gently, carefully placing a hand on your arm. “You can tell me the truth. What’s stopping you from returning to Ravka?”

You could feel his touch even through the coat, which struck you like a punch to the gut when you remembered it was, in fact, his coat you were wearing. And to make it worse, that damned grin was on his face as he spoke with such a genuine kindness in his voice that it made you want to cry. 

You finally met his eyes, taking a sharp breath. Shit, you thought to yourself. You were really going to admit it. He eagerly awaited your response, which you finally managed to utter. 

“You.”

He sucked in a breath, withdrawing his hand. He looked up at the sky for a moment, before taking another breath and turning back to you. 

“Me?” He asked. 

“You,” you said again, exasperatedly laughing. “You, and your ridiculous clothes, and your infuriating charm, and your kindness and ambition…that damned smile.” 

Sturmhond’s cheeks flushed, and he took a step back, although he was grinning like a fool. He couldn’t stop himself if he tried. You didn’t dare speak, waiting for him to say something. After an agonizing moment of silence, he leaned against the bannister, letting out a chuckle.

“What?” You forced yourself to ask, preparing yourself for his answer. 

“Saints, Princess…you’ve gone and done it now.”

You shook your head, your heart dropping to the pit of your stomach. “What?”

“You’ve managed to outdo me. On my own ship. Quite the feat, I’ll give you that,” he laughed, still grinning. 

You narrowed your eyes, still shaking your head. “Sturmhond, I don’t have a fucking clue what you’re saying to me right now. Will you do the honor of enlightening me, or are you going to stand there grinning at me all night?”

“You like my grin,” he mused, making you flush.

He spoke again, saving you from your embarrassment. “And it just so happens that I like yours, too. I like all of you. Very much so indeed, Princess.”

Your heart lurched into your throat at his words, and you had to grab ahold of the bannister behind you to keep yourself steady. He placed his hand over top of yours, his palm warming yours. 

“I cannot believe you beat me to the punch. It’s rude to upstage a captain on his own ship. You’re lucky you’re royalty. I’ll allow it just this once.”

You had just now calmed your breathing, beginning to take in the weight of his words, and what it meant for you both. “Sturmhond, I—”

“I have a confession to make,” he suddenly said in a very serious tone, startling you. “I don’t mean to interrupt you, but I must tell you something before either of us share something we can’t take back.”

“Alright…” You said uneasily. 

Carefully, he took your hand in his, giving it a squeeze. You let him hold it, waiting for him to speak. Absentmindedly, you comfortingly ran your thumb along the back of his hand, silently reassuring him. 

“My name isn’t Sturmhond,” he finally said, the nerves in his voice the worst you had ever heard them. 

Trying not to jump to any hasty conclusions, you nodded, squeezing his hand once more. “Alright…if it isn’t Sturmhond, then what is it?”

“Well, technically it is, but it also isn’t. It’s just a nickname—” He rambled, and you placed your other hand on top of his to stop him. 

“I gathered that much. What else are you trying to tell me? Go on, you can say it.”

He took a deep breath, his voice soft. “It’s true that people call me Sturmhond, but I’m much better known for my birth name…Nikolai. Nikolai Lantsov.”

The realization struck you like a bolt of lightning. You tried not to flinch in his grasp, but you knew he could feel you stiffen. You cleared your throat, feeling your voice begin to grow hoarse

“Nikolai Lantsov…as in Prince Nikolai Lantsov, second son of the Ravkan throne? Moi tsarevich,” you croaked out, attempting to curtsy. 

“Please,” Nikolai said, holding both your hands in his to keep you from bowing. “There is no need for such formalities, darling. If anything, I should be the one bowing to you.”

You stood up straight, shaking your head. “We’re long past that, don’t you think?” 

He chuckled, nodding. “I suppose so.”

The reality of your situation began to set in, and you couldn’t stop yourself from chuckling along with him. He smiled at the sound, raising a brow. 

“What is it?”

“I suppose my little dilemma is solved then,” you said, shrugging. “I was beginning to spiral, thinking my annoying habit of not being able to contain my feelings had ruined any decision I could have made. But of course—in your usual fashion—you’ve managed to upstage me. As is your right, it is your ship, after all. Well, I suppose there’s no decision to make now. At least, I think there isn’t…right?”

Any nerves you had mustered up were immediately squashed when Nikolai brought his hands up to cup your face, running his thumbs across the tops of your cheeks.

“I wasn’t lying when I said I’d take you wherever you wanted to go. All I can hope now is that you’ll allow me to join you…wherever that is.”

You brought a hand up to rest against his wrist. “Don’t you want to go home? You’re expected back in Ravka any day now.”

“I love my country, but I’m in no hurry to return. You’ve told me multiple times how dreadful court was for you—”

“That doesn’t matter,” you quickly said, squeezing his wrist. 

“Of course it does! I cannot ask you to return to a country you’ll be miserable in for the rest of your days for a man you barely know.”

“It’s a good thing you aren’t asking, then,” you reaffirmed, giving him a smile. “I told you. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it. I said that I was afraid I would be all alone at court, and that I was afraid the man I am promised to wouldn’t want a life with me.” 

“What a fool he’d have to be to not want that,” Nikolai joked, making your grin widen.

You continued to reassure him, not convinced that he was believing your words. 

“You say that you’ll follow me wherever I go. Well, I want to go with you. Wherever that is. And I want you to go home. I may have not known you for long, but I’ve been around you long enough to know that you won’t truly be content if you’re tied to my wishes. And I know you’re too stubborn to admit that, so I’ll tell you my wishes, and I need you to believe me. I wish to be with you. I wish for you to return to wherever feels like home, and I wish for you to take me with you. If that’s Ravka, then Ravka will be home. Court will become much more bearable with you there. And if it begins to become too much, I know a certain privateer that can whisk us away for a few days.”

He was doing it again. Smiling like an idiot. He seemed to be in disbelief at your words, this being one of the very few times in his life that he couldn’t find the right words to say. 

“I didn’t mean to trick you, Princess. I should have told you who I was from the beginning.”

You shook your head. “I don’t blame you, Nikolai. If I was given the chance, I wouldn’t have told you who I really was, either. At least, not until I knew I could trust you. I would have done the same as you did. It’s alright.”

“I can’t believe my luck,” he grinned, taking your hand. “How is it that my betrothed managed to stumble upon my ship the very hour I returned to Ravka?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not one to believe in fate, and it sounds impossible.”

“Not impossible…improbable,” he corrected, smirking when you playfully narrowed your eyes up at him. 

You rolled your eyes, but you couldn’t help but smile at your turn of luck. “Are we doing this? Are you going home to Ravka?”

“Are we going home, you mean? I can’t be expected to abandon my betrothed when she turns out to be the single most invigorating person I’ve ever met, now can I?”

“You cannot,” you agreed.

A comfortable moment of silence passed between you both, and you looked down at his hands as you held them in yours. The familiar glint of green on his finger made you chuckle. 

“I knew it, by the way,” you added, grinning. “This coat and that ring are far too ridiculous for a privateer. They’re fit for royalty. Fit for a Lantsov.”

“Am I to understand that you’re not interested in a Lantsov emerald for your engagement ring?” He asked, smirking when you quickly shook your head.

You laughed, pulling his hand closer to inspect his ring. “I said nothing of the sort. I was merely observing how ridiculous it is, as well as this coat. But I’m still wearing it, aren’t I? If I’m going to be married to a ridiculous man, I should begin preparing now, shouldn’t I?”

He narrowed his eyes, playfully jutting his chin up at you. “You just like the coat and want to keep it. It’s alright, darling, you can admit it. We can have your own fitted for you, all you have to do is ask.”

Nikolai gripped the hem of your sleeve, tugging you closer by the arm of his coat. You let him pull you, chuckling nervously when he drew you nearer. 

“I admit nothing, only that my future husband has a taste I will have to acquire. But I’m sure I’m up for the task. We have all the time in the world now, don’t we?”

“We do,” he smiled, settling his hands around your waist. “Although I’ll have to admit, I don’t think we know each other well enough to become husband and wife.”

You tensed under his hold, and he quickly retracted his statement, shaking his head. He didn’t give you enough time to truly panic, interrupting your train of thought. 

“And that’s perfectly fine, darling. Like you said, we have all the time in the world to get to know each other. I think I’d like to take advantage of that starting now. After all, it is our last night on the ship, isn’t it? At least, I assume it is. I expect you’ll want to set a course for Ravka now. Unless you’d rather I get down on one knee, and make a big show of it first. I can do that, if you wish.”

“I certainly wouldn’t stop you,” you chuckled, letting your hands rest on top of his as your tone shifted to a more serious note. “Are we really doing this, Nikolai? Returning to Ravka? Getting married?”

He smiled wider, a twinkle in his eye as he looked down at you. “I’ve wanted you since the moment you stepped foot on my ship, the second I laid eyes on you. And I’ve wanted you more every day since. I’m not one to believe in fate either, but I do think the Saints may have gifted you to me. Who knows what I did to deserve it, but you most definitely won’t find me questioning their will if you’re the result.”

You felt your heart swell at his words. He was right. Of all the ships in the harbor, his was the one you found yourself on. Of all the captains in Ravka, he was the one who took you in. The man you were supposed to marry, and you found yourself falling for him long before you even knew who he truly was. If that isn’t fate, then what is?

“I’ll take all the influence from the Saints I can get when it comes to explaining to your parents why I’ve disappeared right out from under them,” you said with a groan, leaning into him. 

Nikolai chuckled, holding you close. “My Mother will forget all about it when she sees my future safely secured with marriage. There is no need to worry, trust me.”

“I may not have to worry about her, but I do need to worry about Tamar,” you said, letting out a pained chuckle. “I think she staked money on our little situation.”

“She most definitely did. I expect Tolya will be paying up when they hear the news. Who should break it to him?”

You grinned, shaking your head. “I think that duty lies with you, as my future husband. If I’m going to have to listen to Tamar’s endless bragging about being right, then you should have to take half the burden in the form of telling Tolya. That’s how marriage works, isn’t it? Half and half. It’s only fair.”

It was his turn to groan now as he pinched the bridge of his nose with one hand, taking yours in the other. 

“Alright, I’ll do it, but you have to accompany me. I think your presence will help soften the blow. What do you say, darling? After all…it’s only fair.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, squeezing his hand. “If I must. You’re lucky you’re pretty, Lantsov.”

“Darling, I’m lucky for a lot more than that,” he smiled endearingly, and you couldn’t help but smile back.

— A/N - Hi! This is SO long, I’m so sorry. And I’m so sorry for taking so long to get this out, I’ve been busy and had no time to write. But I finally forced myself to get this done, and now I have more time to write! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, let me know what you think! Thank you again for the requests :)

#grishaverse imagine #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #six of crows #six of crows imagine

[courtneyraeblogs1221]

Nikolai Lantsov Recommendations

Main master list

Shadow and Bone/Six of Crows Masterlist

Smut - *

Misinformed*

Wolf Of The Waves

Genuine

Feisty*

Sick & Stubborn

Anchor

Young Royals

Sweatshirt

Stars In The Night

Love Story

Comfort

Teach Me*

A Dare For A Truth

Nikolai Nothing

Healers Duties

Dancing With Our Hands Tied .

If Wishes Cams True

Can’t Sleep

Yours No More .

Healing Hands

The Art Of Presentation

Every Moment .

Coronation .

I Want You, Bless My Soul .

Second In Command - Part 2* .

Cat And Mouse .

It Will Be Enough .

Just Friends* .

Moon Summoner* .

Moi Tsar

Empty Promises .

The Love Of Rain* .

Drunk Words Are Sober Thoughts* .

#nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lanstov x y/n

[amsgrey]

it will be enough

requested: yes

Grisha power wasn't specified, so I picked a random one. (and by picked I mean I literally added them to a spin-the-wheel thing and went with it).

Spoilers for Season Two of Shadow And Bone

warnings: Not proofread or edited, Nikolai being jealous, fluff at the end, more things that I have forgotten

You met Nikolai when he was still parading as Sturmhond, the witty privateer who was all about money and fun. You had been locked alone in the hull of a slaver's ship for longer than you could remember, wasting away without food, water or the ability to summon. Everything had been a blur, shouting, fighting, and then you were being unchained and helped upstairs. You remembered the first time stepping into the sun after that whole time, it burnt your eyes and you had to shield them with your arm.

You had met Sturmhond on his own boat, someone had laid you in a cot and forced you to drink water. Then, a man in teal had asked you your name, told you you were safe and would have a place on his crew if you wanted it. You had taken him up on it, there was always a space for a Squaller on his crew. Nikolai grew to trust you, and put his faith in you as he did Tamar and Tolya. Since then, you would follow Nikolai anywhere he asked.

That included helping him bring peace back to Ravka with the Sun summoner. You had been hesitant to leave your comfortable life with the crew of the Volkvolny, but you loved Nikolai, you would go with him to the ends of the earth. You and Nikolai had been dancing around feelings for each other for almost as long as you had known each other. Tolya was always teasing you about it, reciting cliché poetry and watching you and Nikolai exchange stolen glances. You were sure they were unrequited feelings, so you never acted on them.

It only got worse after returning to Ravka and meeting with the rest of Nikolai's allies at the Spinning wheel. You saw the way he looked at Alina, the hope that lit up his eyes, she was all he needed now. You tried your best not to be hurt about it, you knew loving a prince would only lead to pain. He would never be able to love you back, a commoner. So you volunteered to join Tolya to travel to Ketterdam. You were born and raised in Kerch, and you had the strongest language skills out of all of the party.

Nikolai hadn't spoken to you since announcing his engagement to the sun summoner, it felt like he was avoiding you. He finally approached you on the Hummingbird the day you agreed to leave.

"Y/N?"

You turned to find him leaning against the railings, watching you prepare the sails for the journey. "Moi Tsar."

Nikolai cringed, "Not yet."

You smiled, walking over to join him, "Does that mean I can still can you Sobachka?" You laughed, playfully shouldering him like you would do on the Volkvolny.

Nikolai rolled his eyes, "What is your obsession with that name?"

You enjoyed watching him squirm, making fun of him was too easy some days, "I like calling you Sobachka, makes me think of you like a little cute pup."

Tolya interrupted you both before Nikolai could answer, "We getting this show on the road?"

Nikolai took an extra look at you and the bright smile you sported, "Be safe," He ordered, returning to his Prince persona.

"We'll bring back Neshyenyer," You promised.

Returning to Kerch and meeting the crows felt like a fever dream. Somehow, you slotted into their ranks easily, quickly becoming fast friends. You grew to enjoy Kaz's company as much as the others, something about spending time with someone else from Kerch, who really understood. Besides, he was serious and unwavering and you kind of enjoyed someone who was as serious as you.

After the events in Shu-Han, you were having second thoughts about staying around in Ravka after the war. Nikolai had everything he needed now and Kaz had offered you a place with the Crows if you wanted it. The only thing that was keeping you in Ravka was Nikolai, but why stick around to love someone who would never love you?

You jogged along with Kaz, Wylan and Jesper, headed towards where Nikolai was rumoured to be. You followed Kaz's lead as he peeked over a wall, watching three Grisha rounded on Nikolai and his forces.

"Wylan," Kaz turned to the boy, "Grenade."

Wylan handed it over to him, everyone watching him light the fuse.

"Y/N?"

You nodded, stretching out your hands to summon wind to propel the grenade to your target. You all watched it make its mark, blowing The Darkling's Inferni back until she lay dead on the battlefield.

Nikolai looked to Tamar, "Where did that come from?"

Kaz stood proudly, declaring, "My Demolitions expert."

You stood to his right, just as proud to be joining the fray.

"Expert?" Wylan mumbled, looking at Kaz. You all looked at him as he corrected himself, "I mean, yes. Expert."

You and Jesper smiled, amused by his fake confidence.

You all took a step forward, sliding down the shingled roof and dropping down the wall. You used your small science to soften everyone's fall, allowing you all to rush towards the gates. Jesper quickly worked on the rust that bound the gates closed, leading Wylan to the barricade Tamar, Nadia and Adrick hiding behind. You and Kaz headed opposite them, where Nikolai was crouched.

As you both rushed over, Kaz muttered, "What nightmare have we gotten ourselves into."

Jesper looked over at your group, "Why's Sturmhond here?"

Tamar frowned at him.

"Round here he goes by Nikolai."

"Nikolai Lantsov," Jesper realized, looking over to the man in question. Nikolai shrugged, you couldn't help the chuckle at Jesper's annoyed expression.

"All this time, close personal friend," He spun his pistols into his hands, preparing for a fight.

Nadia and Tamar looked about as confused as could be, "And you are?" Tamar pressed.

Wylan was tucked behind Jesper, his hand resting on his back, "You must be Tamar." He answered, "We came with your brother."

That didn't seem to make the woman any less confused, but she didn't press it any further.

You all watched the Darklings Squaller and Tide Maker rise to attack again. The tide maker raised her hands, drawing water from the sky to draw her attack. Jesper sprung into action first, followed by Adrick and Nadia who came to his support. Watching Jesper shoot would always entrance you, he was such a great shot, aided by his Durast abilities.

You were about to stand and join the fight when Nikolai stopped you, "Did you get Neshyenyer?"

You nodded, "Zoya, Nina and Inej are finding Alina, they'll get to her."

Nikolai nodded in relief, as you looked him over you realized there was blood staining his jacket.

You pressed your fingers to the blood, "Are you hurt?"

Nikolai followed your gaze to where your hand rested on the stain, "it's- It's not mine."

You looked up at him, seeing the pain in his eyes. You would ask more later, for now, there were more pressing matters than those you'd lost.

Jesper finished his attack on the Tidemaker with the buttons on his waistcoat, lashing out and turning them into their tiny blades. As you looked past Nikolai you watched the Squaler draw lightning to his palms, it crackled and hissed as he tried to amass it.

Kaz nudged you with his crow's head cane, handing it over for you to use as a conductor. You quickly jumped to your feet, rushing to Jesper's side and using Kaz's cane and your powers to channel the electricity. Lightning was notoriously unstable, It didn't react well to being controlled. You threw your hands up, forcing the lighting to connect the two of you through Kaz's cane, then expelling the power back into the storm clouds it came from. The more lightning the Squaller summoned, the harder you worked to draw it away. Eventually, he ceased, knowing he could not lash out with the electricity you too controlled.

"I have Datura Meloxia!" Wylan shouted.

"Wylan! Now."

The boy uncapped the vile, calling for Adrick and Nadia to help him propel the powder, "Air support!"

You and Jesper ducked to avoid the powder being swept into Grisha's face, watching him stumble around in glazed confusion before Tamar sent her axe into his head.

As the Tidemaker tried to fight back one last time, she realized just how effective Jesper's attack had been. Screaming at the realization her fingers were gone. Nikolai was appearing to the side, raising his pistol and firing one last bullet, taking down the final one of the darklings Grisha.

"It's done."

You and Jesper both let out matching sighs of relief. He bent over to retrieve his pistol, then dramatically threw his arm around your shoulders to pull you into a side hug.

"Thanks for that, gorgeous."

You smiled, "My pleasure, Handsome."

You joined Kaz and Nikolai, the two of them eyeing each other. You retrieved Kaz's cane from the mud, handing it over to him with a triumphant smile, "I believe this belongs to you, Brekker."

Kaz took it from you, twisting it in his hand as he admired the crow's head.

Nikolai looked from you to the man who you were grinning at, suddenly less pleased to see Brekker, "I didn't realize you were patriots."

"Well if you die, we don't get paid," Kaz said like it was the most straightforward answer. You couldn't help but laugh, after the stress of the fight and Kaz's arid sense of humour, you needed it.

Nikolai was sure he could listen to you laugh every minute of every day and never get sick of it. He hadn't heard it enough in the last few weeks, and it pained him. He longed for the evenings on the Volkvolny when the crew would laugh and drink without the looming threat of death and destruction.

Everyone smiled when Tolya appeared, pulling his sister in a crushing hug. Nikolai looked around his gathered allies.

"We have to find Alina. If Kirigan brought the fight here, he's gunning for her."

Tolya nodded, "I've cleared us a way into the fort. Come on."

You fell into step with Nikolai at the back of the group, his unofficial bodyguard for the fight you were about to delve back into. Nikolai couldn't help but spare you glances, you looked tired, the lightning summoning had worn you out. He wanted to stop, allow you to rest, and bring back the bright smile you almost always wore. He knew better, though, just plotting along silently beside your group.

You sat next to Tamar as everyone took a much-deserved breather.

"A moment of sun before we deal with out losses," Nikolai sighed, glancing over the wounded and dying that lay on the grass, "Dominik..."

Tamar comforted her friend quickly, "He did exactly what any of us would have done for each other."

"For you," You added, leaning over and grabbing Nikolai's hand. He glanced down at your clasped hands, giving a small squeeze as thanks.

You all looked up as Alina, Inej, Nina and Mal walked over the hill. Nina stayed by the wounded while Inej and Alina exchanged a few quick words. Alina chased after Mal, leaving Inej to inform the group.

Nikolai thanked the crows for their help, he took Tolya's arm and headed away to address the consequences. You were about to join when Kaz called your name.

You turned to the man, a small frown on your face, "Yes?"

"If you ever feel like coming back to Ketterdam," He spoke, "We would welcome a crow with your abilities."

Jesper and Inej both nodded, showing their support.

You couldn't help the smile that grew, "I'll think about it." You promised, taking your leave to follow after Nikolai and the others.

When you met up with Nikolai, he wouldn't meet your gaze. Looking at everyone else but you. He made preparations for the Darkling to be burned on a pyre, leading all of his most trusted allies to join him. It was strange, that it was all over. There was no more fold, no more bickering or fighting between otkazat'sya and Grisha, it was an entirely new beginning.

You wanted to stand by Nikolai as he addressed your small group, but there was something off about him. He still had yet to make eye contact with you, ignoring your small gestures of comfort. Eventually, you gave up, coming to stand next to Nina behind Alina.

As Nikolai finished his speech, Kaz led his crows away. Nina looked at you, knowing you needed the support. She took your hand, leading you away from the flames with the rest of the crows.

The gathered forces were celebrating as you all exited the sand that was once the fold. Offering all of you drinks and food. You couldn't find the energy to join the festivities, brushing off friends and fellow Grisha to find a quieter space.

You found yourself wandering until you reached the roof of the compound, finding a perch on the edge of a wall looking over the land around the compound.

You let out a quiet gasp in fright when Nikolai appeared at your side.

He quickly grabbed your arm, "Don't fall."

You smiled, "I won't. Probably."

Nikolai chuckled, joining you on the ledge. You were struck by how many times you would sit together like this on the Volkvolny.

"Shouldn't you go find a healer?" You asked, gesturing to the bandages wrapped around his leg.

Nikolai shrugged, "I needed to talk to you first."

You looked away, "About?"

Nikolai was staring at the horizon, clearly also struggling to find the courage to talk. Something had changed between you two for sure.

"What did Brekker say," Nikolai finally spoke after a long silence between you.

You glanced at him, the afternoon sun was illuminating his face. His hair was still cleanly combed back, neatly styled to make him look regal. His cheek was still bruised, the only thing that made him look like the Sturmhond you knew.

"He said if I ever wanted to go home, I had a place with the crows."

Nikolai nodded, "Home to Ketterdam?"

Nikolai knew how much you missed Kerch, you grew up in the countryside on a farm with your siblings. You had stopped in Ketterdam once or twice with the Volkvolny crew, but it wasn't the same as going back to live there.

"I know it sounds crazy," You fiddled with your hands, "I never thought it would be possible to go back, maybe now..."

Nikolai could relate to that, he never felt entirely at home in the Grand Palace, and he didn't think it would ever be possible to. Now he would rule there.

"When are you and Alina leaving for Os Alta?"

"Tomorrow," Nikolai replied, "Tamar and Tolya are taking over captainship of the Volkvolny."

You hummed, "I'm sure they're excited about that, Tolya can stop for all the snacks he wants."

Nikolai laughed, a carefree laugh that made you smile too.

You both sat in peaceful silence for a while, listening to the celebrations going on under your feet. You felt like there was something more to say like you both wanted the other to confess the feelings you shared.

You kept coming back to the fact Nikolai and Alina were engaged. You knew that it wasn't a love match, Alina loved Mal. But even so, they would be tied together for as long as it took for Ravka to rebuild. You were being childish if you thought you and Nikolai could be anything other than friends. And so you were thinking more and more about returning to Ketterdam, joining the crows. Leaving Nikolai would hurt, but it would hurt more watching Nikolai with Alina.

You eventually came to the conclusion there was nothing more you could say, Nikolai clearly did not share your feelings. You cleared your throat, stretching casually and then getting to your feet.

"They're probably missing us," You said, trying to hide your disappointment.

Nikolai didn't respond, staring out at the horizon a while longer.

"You should stay."

You almost didn't hear it, already a few steps away from Nikolai. You turned to face him, "What?"

Nikolai got to his feet and stood before you, giving you his full attention for the first time since leaving the Volkvolny.

"I want you to stay."

You struggled to find any words, gaping at the man before you.

Nikolai kept talking, "I know that I can't ask this of you, I know I Shouldn't. But seeing you with Brekker, the thought of you going to Ketterdam with him-"

Nikolai stopped when you giggled. He frowned at you, "What?"

"Nothing," You giggled.

Nikolai grabbed your hand, "What? Why are you laughing?"

You stifled your laugh, "Are you jealous of Kaz?"

Nikolai faked being offended, "Me? Jealous?"

"Oh, you so are," You cackled, getting a lot of amusement out of watching the Tsar squirm, "Nikolai Lantsov with his damnably handsome looks is jealous?"

Nikolai dropped your hand and threw his hands up in exasperation, "You are the worst."

You grinned, then remembered what he had asked. "Do you really want me to stay?"

Nikolai looked serious again, "I do. I want you to stay with me, by my side."

"But you're engaged to Alina."

Nikolai seemed to realize at the same time you did, he nodded solemnly, "We couldn't be anything to each other in public. At least, not until Alina and I end our engagement."

"You'll end your engagement?"

"It was always the plan," Nikolai explained, "She loves Mal. I love you. It's just for political-"

"You love me?" You cried before you could stop yourself.

Nikolai's face flushed, he scratched his neck sheepishly, "Yes."

"Well," You reached out and took his face in your hands, cupping his cheeks gently, "Aren't you lucky I love you too."

Nikolai's face burst into a cocky grin. He grabbed your waist, firmly holding onto you and dragging you closer to him. He reached one hand u to cup your cheek, guiding a thumb over your cheekbone tenderly.

"I can't believe you were jealous of Kaz," You teased, drunk on the feeling of being so close to Nikolai.

"Shut up," Nikolai scoffed, he leaned in and captured your lips in a kiss. He pulled you even closer until you were flush with his chest. You brought your hands to the back of his neck, twisting your fingers into his hair. You couldn't help but feel relief, the feeling of it washed over you. You had spent the last few days worrying about where you stood. This answered that gnawing fear, Nikolai felt the same.

Nikolai pulled away, pressing his forehead to yours. His arms wound around your waist, holding you close while he stared into your eyes.

Your face was flushed and you were breathless, "I have been waiting years for you to do that."

Nikolai smiled, "I've been wanting to do that for years."

You knew this wouldn't be the end of this discussion, about him and Alina. But for now, you were happy to follow him to Os Alta, to know he felt the same way. That would be enough for now.

#sab #sab s2 spoilers #sab s2 #sab spoilers #soc #Nikolai #nikolai lanstov #nikolai duology #nikolai x reader #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai imagines #sab x reader #sab x y/n #sab x you #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #zoya nazyalensky #alina starkov #malyen oretsev #nina zenik #jesper fahey #wylan hendricks #tamar yul bataar #tolya yul bataar #tamar and tolya #nadia zhabin #Volkvolny #shadow and bone s2 x reader #shadow and bone s2 #shadow and bone x reader

[thebadgerclan]

Moi Tsar

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Summary:  After the attack on the Spinning Wheel...

Everything had gone wrong so fast.  One second, you’d been watching as Vasily made a drunken speech about your husband and the Sun Summoner, the next, you’d watched him be dismembered.  Your location had been revealed, the Darkling had attacked, and you’d been separated from Nikolai.  The last you’d seen of him, he’d been herding his mother from the ballroom with a shout of, “Protect the Queen!”

You’d tried to fight, to evacuate as many people as you could, but when the Darkling’s shadow monster had struck you and you’d fallen to the floor, your mind shifted toward getting yourself out.  You were dizzy and delirious with pain, but you’d somehow managed to get into the tunnels dug beneath the Spinning Wheel.  Alya, one of Nikolai’s Grisha, was the first person you found, and you had only one question.

“Nikolai,” you gasped.  “Where is Nikolai?  Is he here?  Was he hurt?  Is–”  “I don’t know,” Alya said, taking your arm and leading you to a cot.  “I’m sure he’s fine.”  Tears built behind your eyes, and you felt panic ebbing in.  “He could have been killed,” you said.  “He could be hurt, he could be dying, he–”  “Y/N!”  You fell silent at the cry of your name, however quiet the voice was.

“Y/N!  Y/N, are you here?”  Nikolai was bordering on hysterical.  When he’d gotten his mother out of danger, he’d returned for you, only to find a splatter of blood on the marble where you’d been standing.  “Y/N!  Y/N!”  He scanned every face he passed, and while he was relieved to see his soldiers alive and here, his priority was you.  “Nikolai?”  He froze, praying he hadn’t misheard.  “Nikolai!”  “Y/N!”  He took off running, and when the crowd parted to reveal you doing the same, he let out a sob.  “Y/N!”

You slammed into his chest, wrapping your arms tightly around him, knees giving out.  But Nikolai held you up, clutching you to him.  “Oh my love,” he cried.  “I thought… I didn’t…I…. Saints, I thought….”  “I know,” you managed, lifting your face from his chest to look at him.  “I didn’t know what happened to you, where you were.  I thought I’d lost you.”  Your husband smirked, wiping a tear from your cheek. “Never, my darling.  It’ll take more than a shadow demon to take me away from you.”

“Sir,” came Tamar’s voice.  Nikolai didn’t release you from his vice-like grip, but he lifted his head from your hair.  “Baghra’s arrived.  She wishes to speak with you and Alina.”  Nikolai nodded, sweeping you into his arms and following his Heartrender to a private chamber.  The Grisha teacher was waiting when you arrived, and introductions had hardly been made when a girl with flaming auburn hair and horrific scars entered.

Alina embraced her immediately.  “Oh, Genya,” she whispered, and your husband went rigid.  “Genya?” he asked, gently setting you down.  “Genya Safin?  The Grisha who poisoned the King?”  You looked at the girl before you, unable to imagine this shriveled thing able to pull off regicide.  “Moi tsarevich,” she said, and Tamar corrected; “Moi tsar.  He’s your King now.”  Your gaze flew from Genya to your husband.  The King?  You wracked your brain, trying to remember anything but chaos from the party, but only one thing stood out: Protect the Queen, he’d ordered, but he hadn’t meant his mother, he’d meant you.  You were the Queen now.

Try as you might, you barely heard anything after that.  You were Queen, Nikolai was King.  Both Vasily and Pytor dead in a matter of minutes.  You barely noticed when Alina led Genya from the room, but when Nikolai gently took your hand and sat you on the bed, you snapped to attention.  “Are you alright?” he asked, cupping your face, scanning you for wounds.  “I… I don’t…”  Your husband pulled you into his arms, and you crawled into his lap, pressing your face into his chest.  He smelled like smoke and gunpowder, but beneath it, that unmistakable smell that was your Nikolai.

“You’re the King,” you managed, and Nikolai nodded.  “Yes,” he replied, voice cracking. “I am.”  After a few minutes, you lifted your head, locking eyes with your husband.  “Kolya, I thought you were dead.”  “I thought the same of you,” he said, tightening his hold on you.  Tamar entered, bearing a basin of warm water and a few pieces of cloth, which Nikolai thanked her for, before leaving the two of you alone.

Your husband cleaned the blood and grime from your face, and you did the same for him, all while remaining in his lap.  “What do we do now?” you whispered as Nikolai laid down, pulling you into his arms.  “We leave for Zvedya in the morning,” he said, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.  “We regroup, and we keep fighting.  For Ravka.  For the future.  For what we love most.”

Nikolai pressed a lingering kiss to your lips, winding his arms around you.  “I love you, my darling,” he whispered, his lips brushing against yours.  “My Y/N, my love, my darling.  I love you so much.  “I love you too, Nikolai,” you replied, nuzzling your face into his chest.  “I love you.”  Exhaustion soon pulled you under, your husband following soon after.  Your sleep was dreamless, and when you woke, it was to Nikolai pressing gentle kisses to your forehead.

“Wake up, lovely,” he coaxed.  “We’re leaving.”  As much as you wanted to burrow under the blankets and pretend that yesterday hadn’t happened, you rose and dressed, shouldering your new mantle as Queen of Ravka.  You’d been attacked, yes, your soldiers wounded, some returned to the Saints, but you would fight on.  With Nikolai at your side, leading your men and women, you would persevere.  And if your country wanted to be a drowning man, then you’d just have to dive in headfirst and save it.

#nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #nikolai lantsov x you #shadow and bone reader insert

[igotanidea]

The love of rain : Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Request submitted as a part of my 1k celebration: Rain and Nikolai (thank you anon!)

Warning: some spice, but nothing explicit, apart from that just fluff

***

The weather in Ravka was whimsical, to say the least.

One day there was sun and clear sky and the other the habitants had to deal with fog or storm or rain. And most of them did not like when it was wet and dark outside, cause it was clear sign that they would be stuck at the little palace for longer than anyone would wish for. It was particularly painful for squallers and tidemakers, the rest were complaining but found their way to deal with it. Of course, it was possible to just use the Grisha power and dissipate the clouds, but nature was nature and there were still rules to stick by, one of them saying that Etherealki were not supposed to mess with it more than necessary.

However, there is always an exception to the rule, or at least they say so.

“Ugh!” Zoya grunted upon noticing the first drops on the ground “I can’t believe it! Why can’t we just make those clouds go away? I can do this.”

“Zoya” Nadia put a hand on her shoulder “you know we are not supposed to do that. King’s orders.”

“Well, someone should knock some sense into Nikolai’s head” the brunette scoffed, raising her hands, ready to call upon the wind “I need training. I want to train and I am not going to stop just because….”

“Surely you are not going to disobey, right?” Adrik came out of nowhere and chimed in “you are a soldier, you have to be obedient.” He reminded her and it made her sigh deeply in frustration.

“I hate it.”

“Yes, we heard you loud and clear, now come on, we have to find shelter before we get drenched.”

And just like that, all the Grisha assembled on the palace ground started running from the droplets, which slowly intensified and after a couple of minutes, the drizzle turned into full-on torrent.

“Aren’t you happy we are inside now?”  Nadia smiled at Zoya, but the latter was even more annoyed than before.

“NO!” she said firmly with a pout on her face

“Someone’s in the mood, today” a male’s voice came from the other entrance to the room and everyone turned to face king Nikolai himself.

“My king” Genya was the first one to raise from her seat and approach him

“I still can’t get used to that title” Nik smiled brightly “but you gotta admit it suits me well, doesn’t it?”

“Well…..” Genya started, but Zoya interrupted her

“Let’s just hope it doesn’t get too much to your head, you majesty.” She smirked

“If it ever does, I give you permission to knock some sense into me.” Nikolai chuckled at the girl’s surprised expression “yes, yes, I heard you use that particular expression. Just be sure to avoid the face, will you? Your punches are quite strong and I can’t risk getting injured in the most visible part of me. Now, is everyone back from the field?”

‘Squallers are at full strength” Adrik assured

“How about tidemakers, Annika?”

“As well, moi tsar.” the girl bowed gently and earned a smile from Nikolai.

“And what about Inferni?” he hesitated a bit

“I think we all know the answer to that question. Y/N is missing, obviously.”

“Guess that’s the aftermath of the time she spend on the ship with you in the role of Sturmhond”

“Good thing I know exactly where to look for her.” Nikolai started walking towards the exit ready to go outside straight into the downpour

“My king!” Genya yelled after him “you should not….”

“Oh, dear Genya, after all this time, you should not use the “you should” with me. Don’t you know I’m gonna do what I want either way. I’m the king after all” he winked at the girl without having any care in the world.

*** “You know, for an Inferni, you are strangely fascinated with water.” Y/N, who was sitting under the canopy near the waterfall, listening to the sound of rain turned around at the voice, a bit alarmed, ready to throw a fireball straight into Nikolai’s face. “Hey! Easy with that!” he raised hands in defense.

“Do not sneak on me!” she spat and then started laughing at the man, her eyes glistening with joy “you are drenched, moi tsar.“

“As if you weren’t.”

“I don’t really care. Besides, I got the heat, I can get myself dry, easily, unlike you.” Y/N smiled at him and reached a hand towards him “come on, we can both fit in here. Can’t risk you getting sick.”

“Oh, you are worried about me” he grinned sitting close to her, sneaking an arm around her waist and puling the girl in “That is just so sweet, my love”

“Mhm, sure. I’m worried about all your people and royal advisors coming after me with pitchforks because I gave the king the flu.”

“Pichfork?” he raised an eyebrow, but could not help a little laugh. “Why pitchfork?”

“I don’t know” she leaned into him. It was kinda funny, how she was the Infeni and yet, he was the one who was giving her warmth. The kind that does not come from the fire, but from the inside and from all the feelings she get because of him “isn’t that what used to be use to deal with witches? And I am a witch after all.”

“Sure you are. You definitely bewitched me.” Nikolai kissed her temple and she closed her eyes enjoying this. Maybe too much. “Besides, as the king, I choose to be here.”

“It’s just so quiet and peaceful, you know” she snuggled closer to him “unlike in the palace or in training. There just always so many people, so many noises. And rain, rain just make it all go away.”

“Like I said, you are one strange Inferni.”

“Maybe.” She sighed “you know people hear “’Inferni” and automatically assume those are the one who beams with energy all the time, have power and strength, and are always ready to jump into action. But hey, guess what, we are people too, we are tired and stressed and worried and need a break from time to time.”

“Hard week?” he asked rubbing on her arm lovingly and reassuringly.

“Like usual. It’s not like I can compare with all your duties. You’ve been busy too.”

“Is that why you’ve been hiding here?” he moved away slightly just to search for an answer in her eyes. “Don’t. turn away from me” his hand found a way to her cheek making her face him “Y/n, darling, tell me.”

 “I… that may have been the reason” she muttered “I just knew you would come to find me.” She looked down for a moment but then raised gaze and focused it on his face “Nik, I’m sorry, I just missed you and ….”

She did not get to finish as he leaned forward and planted his lips on hers in the most gentle, slow and emotional kiss that any girl could imagine and wish for. If she wasn’t sitting, her knees would probably gave up on her and she would fall to the ground. Saints, how she missed this. It’s been a week since they had a single silent moment together and it was all reflected in such simple, yet meaningful gesture. His grip on her waist tightened and he pulled her onto his lap, wanting her closer to him, enjoying how she let him hold her, touch her and kiss her. Just being with her was enough.

“I missed you too, my love. And I’m the one who should be sorry for not giving you enough attention.” Nikolai whispered nuzzling her nose with his making her chuckle since she was ticklish.

 “Don’t be silly, Nik. I am no one, just one rowdy Grisha.”

“You.” he pecked her lips again “are everything. My love. My bride. And the queen to be.”

“Ugh….”

“Still don’t like that?”

“I don’t think I’m the queen material.” She squirmed in his lap and it made him a bit too excited “I hate all that panoply and sumptuousness.”

“Do you even know me?” he groaned when she moved more “I’m the least pompous of my family. Do you remember our time on the Volkvolny? Definitely not a prince-like behavior back then.”

“Oh I remember some of that” she smirked locking hands on his neck and whispering in his ear “I also remember bringing the heat without using Inferni skills.”

“Uh… Um… yeah. You see, being a queen comes with one more benefit. “

“And what is that?” she feigned curiosity, even if the evidence was more than palpable

“You get to be the only person the king will kneel for….” He mumbled, kissing her cheek “Love.”

“Really?”

“Sure. I’ll leave with you with that thought.” With one single motion he moved her away and sat back next to him “maybe you won’t be hiding in the middle of the forest in the future.”

“I will. I definitely won’t stop on your account, love.” Y/N rolled her eyes and laid her head on his shoulder. There would be time to tease him and get revenge later on. Judging by the circumstances it would be painfully easy to make him fulfill that promise. But not now. “Nik?” she whispered, calming down

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can we just stay here for a while? I need some peace…. And I want you with me. Just like this.”

“If you think you can get rid of me now you’re crazy. I’m not going anywhere far from….”

“From what?”

“From the person I love.” He answered and just to accent and emphasize those words raised her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles gently.

At this moment she really wished she was a tidemaker or a squaller. She would definitely disobey all the rules of not messing with nature and will make it rain till the end of the world if it meant just being with him away from the world.

#shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone x you #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone x reader #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov fluff #nikolai lanstov fiction

[stray-kaz]

Patched : a Nikolai Lantsov x f!reader oneshot

Anon request: Nikolai is injured in the course of a fight and reader offers to tend to his wound. He is a stubborn ass and refuses...eventually giving in.

A/N: I think I decided to make this "best friends to lovers" trope. Hope that's okay.

18+ at the end!

Nikolai thumped through the door to his bedroom in the Spinning Wheel, landing hard against the wall and almost falling to the floor. If it weren’t for his gaze catching on you sitting on the edge of his bed, he would have given up and allowed gravity to take him. But as it was, he did see you and forced himself to straighten, using his shoulders to push his body off the wall, sheer will skewing the corners of his mouth into a smile facsimile.

“Hey, you” he said, and stumbled.

“Hey, yourself, Sobachka” you grumbled, standing and hastening to him. 

He pouted at the barely tolerated nickname coming out of your mouth.

“Don’t call me that” he mumbled back. “I’m not a puppy.”

“Then stop acting like one, moi Tsar” you retorted, pulling a face at him. “How bad is it?”

“It’s just a scratch.”

He sighed and collapsed into a chair, his head rolling back. You sighed even more heavily and knelt at his feet, feeling for the pulse at his wrist. It was there, and it was strong enough, but he was still an idiot.

“I heard that” he said, not looking at you. “You speak in your head far less than you think you do.”

“Good” you snapped. “Someone ought to tell you what they’re truly thinking. I’m not too scared to do it. You could have been killed, Nikolai. And if you had died, where would I be then?”

He heard the tears in your voice and sat up properly in the chair, reaching out to cup your face with one hand and tilt your gaze towards him. You sniffed, your gaze defiant, just in case he was going to tease you for caring too much. But he just leaned forward and kissed your forehead, his palm rough and soothing against your jaw.

“I don’t have an answer for that, darling” he said softly. “Other than I hope you would be all right. And that no matter where I ended up, I would worry for you.”

You breathed out sharply and rose up to lean your weight against his knees; they widened unconsciously, without Nikolai’s say-so, opening a gap big enough for you fit your body in between.

“Let me help you” you offered, sniffing away the last of your tears.

He merely shook his head.

“No.”

His tone was firm, brooking no nonsense, but you pressed on anyway.

“You’re a stubborn mule, moi Tsar” you told him, raising an eyebrow. “A scratch would not leave you in your current state. I can help you.”

Nikolai eyed you sceptically. 

“You know you don’t have to call me that” he said. “I’m not your king yet.”

Your eyes softened as you looked up at him and he found himself shifting in the chair, striving to get away from the unkempt love he glimpsed in your face.

“You have been my king since the day I met you” you replied. “You will always be my king, Nikolai Lantsov.”

He sucked in a slow, deliberate breath and made a decision. 

“All right, fine” he all but grunted. “You can help put me back together.”

As you reached for his shirt strings, he noticed your hands trembling, and felt the heat of your fingertips pressing through the material at his collarbone. You fumbled with the slim knot, eventually overcoming it, and pulled the cords free. As your hands dropped to the hem of his shirt and worked it up over his stomach, Nikolai couldn’t help the fresh grin tugging at his lips.

“Darling, if you wanted me to take off my clothes, you should have just asked.”

He expected a quip back, but instead, you just glanced away and pulled the shirt free of his head, sliding it off his arms. It left his hair mussed and your eyes dark as you searched him for the injury. It was more than a scratch, but could still have been worse. A long, inch deep gash ran along the side of his ribs, glistening wetly in the low light.

You whistled quietly and Nikolai sighed.

“I truly hope that is because of my impressive physique and not because I need stitches.”

“You need stitches” you answered flatly.

Nikolai groaned, throwing his head back again. You couldn’t help but smile.

“For a man so unafraid of anything, you sure are scared of needles” you commented, pushing yourself to your feet. “I’ll be right back. Don’t move.”

Nikolai rolled his eyes.

“Why would I, when you treat me with such gentleness?”

You said nothing, slipping out the door and returning a few minutes later with a stoppered bottle of amber liquid and an armful of clean bandages, a length of catgut and a sterilised needle. Without a word, you handed the bottle to Nikolai but didn’t wait for him to drink before starting work on his wound.

He hissed through his teeth, yanked the stopper out and rapidly swallowed a third of the crown’s whiskey. 

“Am I your king now?” he groaned, tensing as the needle passed through his skin.

“Be quiet, Sobachka” you muttered, concentrating. “Don’t make me stab you.”

“That’s what I thought.”

You worked quickly and carefully, tying off the stitching with a tiny knot and spreading a new bandage over the neat black lines. You smoothed it down, your fingers lingering on the warm skin over the edge of the white padding. Nikolai’s eyes flicked to yours, warmed a little by whiskey but still clear.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re very pretty when you’re causing men pain?” he asked blithely, two fingers wrapped loosely around the neck of the bottle.

You snorted and stood up, gathering the remnants of your work and heading for the door. His voice stopped you at the threshold, called you back to him.

“How long have we known each other?” he asked you, head tilted curiously to one side as his gaze burned a scalding path from the top of your head to the scuffed toes of your boots.

“More than ten years, moi Tsar” you said softly.

He shook his head slowly and got up, wincing as the stitches pulled at him. You took a step in his direction, but he held up a halting hand and shook his head again.

“More than ten years” he repeated slowly. “And in those ten years, how have I never seen what it looks like when you desire a man?”

Your gaze plummeted to the floor and you moved your weight from foot to foot, suddenly unsteady in your own body. Nikolai reached you, his boots entering your limited field of vision. The tools of your trade fell from your hands as one of his hands grasped your chin and raised it so that you had no choice but to look into his blue eyes, now burning with twin flames. You could smell the whiskey as he spoke, but instead of making you uncertain, it liquefied your knees and heated your stomach.

“Until tonight” he finally added, his voice low and his gaze dropping to your parted lips.

You swallowed unsteadily, knowing you were trapped, he had caught you, doe to stag.

“Please, moi Tsar” you barely whispered, not exactly sure what you were begging him for.

He shook his head at you.

“Uh uh” he murmured, arching a single eyebrow.

You opened your mouth to speak again, knowing that your next utterance would sentence you to him for the rest of your life, death withstanding.

“Nikolai...”

The bottle shattered the second his mouth bruised yours, pleasure coursing through his veins and numbing the pain in his side as his head swam, his two empty hands finding you to hold onto, molding to your hips. He eased your lips apart and swallowed your moan as the tip of his tongue brushed yours, so lightly.

He couldn’t believe there had ever been anyone else before you, as his hands mapped the contours of your body, lavishing attention on your clothed breasts when you arched into his palms. 

You pulled away slightly and traced the edges of Nikolai’s bandage with your fingers.

“We can’t” you groaned, whimpering needily as his hand wandered down your belly to tease underneath the front of your trousers. “Your stitches, Nikolai.”

He shrugged, seemingly ignoring the prominent strain in his own trousers.

“No matter” he said casually. “You know what we can do? Or, what I can do?”

You gasped and your eyelids fluttered, but you forced your eyes to remain open to watch his whole hand disappear and feel his roughened fingers begin their work.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x female reader #shadow and bone fic #liss writes

[bakerstreethound]

Golden Mornings

Relationship: Nikolai Lantsov x gender neutral reader

Warnings: lots of fluff, heated kisses, and happy Nikolai

Summary: Waking up in the arms of the King of Ravka is always special to you and you want to show him how much you adore him while he returns the sentiments in kind.

All writings belong to me @bakerstreethound​ (Do NOT claim, copy, repost, or translate my works to other sites. I only publish here and on A03 under the same username) 

Word Count: 828

A/N: Hello my lovelies. This is my first time writing & posting for the wonderful Nikolai Lantsov. I hope you enjoy it! It's been in my drafts a bit as I've been meaning to post but life got in the way. Regardless, comments and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Graphic by @firefly-graphics

Nikolai nuzzles closer to you, burying his face in your neck, inhaling your scent. You chuckle to yourself, eyes half drooped, resisting your brain’s internal alarm clock to get up and start the day. You continue to stroke his back, rubbing patterns trying to prolong the time you have before your duties demand the trajectory of the day. 

“Morning, love,” he murmurs. You tap his nose gently in response as he scrunches it, painting his face in childlike happiness. 

“Good morning moi tsar,” you grin in response, his eyes scrunched at the title you called him.

“It’s too early for this. What have I done to incur your wrath?” 

“Nothing at all my dear Sobachka.” You smile, pressing a kiss to his forehead and he smiles back softly, eyes glimmering in adoration.

Despite it all, despite the demon, you have accepted him for who he was and is, and on mornings like this, he has come to cherish being in the warmth and strength of your arms. It is where he belongs, and he wishes he found you, his true home sooner. 

Ravka may be his kingdom, but you are his alone - his to cherish and adore. 

You cup his face in your hand, thumb brushing along his lower lip, his gaze unwavering as his eyes take in the sight of you once more. It’s all he ever wants, the simplicity of waking up in your embrace, the golden sun illuminating your shared chambers with the promise of a new life, a new kingdom, and a thousand tomorrows on the horizon. 

“Did you find a blemish there, my love?” Nikolai’s cheeky trademark smirk flourishes along his face, a reminder of the boy he was, hidden under the man he’d become.

Your hands trace his lip with ease, the smile lingering on your lips blooming. “Even if there is a blemish, I’d adore you all the same, dear Nik.” 

His smile deepens, “Well, then,” he leans over you, pressing another gentle kiss to your lips while pulling you under him, his gaze transfixed, admiring your form. 

You squirm against him to no avail, his gaze not lingering from your lips, hands gripping you firmly, the sheet falling further down his torso. You whisper to yourself, an odd assortment of words you can’t recall, too enraptured by the sight before you. Your hands trace the outline of his chest, and you wrap your arms around him bringing him closer before peppering him with kisses, dragging your tongue over them. 

He groans in kind, determined not to fall, but he does. How can he not? He’s utterly yours. When your lips are determined to consume him whole, alternating between marking and kissing him, you smile, leaving a few marks over the faint trace of the bite marks you’d left the prior night. 

“See something you like, love?” Nikolai smirks, boyish glee lighting his eyes.

“Yes, in fact, I do. You’re absolutely wonderful and I cannot get enough of you.” You nuzzle his neck as one of his hands cups the nape of your neck, pulling you close as he adjusts himself on top of you after pulling you in for a proper kiss.

A kiss that melts your soul, warm like sunlight and honey, of the many days you wish to wake up to until your dying day. It pulls you in and you press yourself against him more, the feeling of his skin against yours the perfect sort of heat and warmth. 

You gently tug his hair, a soft gasp leaving his parted lips while he strokes your hair, leaning down to kiss you once more. Your hands reach around his neck while he pulls you close, his lips brushing your neck, pulling you on top of him, your laugh filling the empty space, music to his ears, the warm Ravkan sun shining further in through the windows, perfectly highlighting your features and your eyes. 

You squeeze your legs as you straddle him, steadying yourself before you gently tug his hair, a gasp parting from his lips, his blonde curls shimmering. You take a moment to enjoy the sight while you pepper kisses along his neck, biting and sucking in kind, his hands falling to your waist, squeezing tighter in response. 

He huffs in amusement, his hands squeezing your waist tighter before rolling himself on top of you once more littering your face and neck with kisses. 

“Nik!” You squealing, helplessly flailing beneath him. “That wasn’t fair!”

“I don’t recall us playing fair this lovely morning,” he quirks a brow, giving back to kiss your lips, capturing you in his warmth and light. It brings thoughts of waking up like this in the future when Ravka is finally safe, the scent of waffles wafting through the walls, followed by the sweet smell of syrup that Nina adores.

Moments like this you cherish for eternity and a lifetime, despite the war-torn nation bequeathed to a young king. You would rebuild. Together. 

******

#nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #the grishaverse #the grisha trilogy #nikolai x reader #nikolai fanfiction #paddy gibson #my writing #my alleyway

[corpsebasil]

Very short little wholesome fluff to combat the absolute filth I just posted

Her heart was breaking.

She knew she didn’t have power, knew she would never be as strong as someone as Alina. She wanted to fight. She wanted to be a soldier like everyone else, to defend Ravka, to protect her home. But she still sat in the chapel inside the catacombs, staring at the wall, barely able to breathe against her grief.

“My darling.” Nikolai Lantsov, her best friend and closest companion, said, his eyes finding hers in the darkness. He approached, moving towards her, his appearance a bit disheveled after the attack at his engagement party.

She swallowed.

“Don’t you have a Sun Summoner to court?”

It wasn’t fair, she knew that, but her heart cracked every time she saw he and Alina together. And she’d been sick, hurling her dinner into the toilet, when he’d proposed to the Saint. The engagement party had been a new level of agony.

“Y/N, please.” He sighed, sitting on the bench beside her. He searched for the right words, unsure of where to begin, when she murmured out a sentence they made him want to break down.

“I’m leaving.” She said, still looking at the wall. She swallowed, eyes boring into stone as if she could break the material with her own eyes. “Some of the maids and healers are going to a safe house. They want me with them since I’m…well, not Grisha.”

“You’ll be protected, then.” He offered, forcing a note of cheerfulness into his tone. “Better than hauling ass through a war camp.” He laughed, but she didn’t, and his smile faded when he watched her try and keep her emotions contained, still refusing to look at him.

“I wish you were coming with me.” She said, eyes sliding to his. He was watching her, and the sorrowful look on his face made her chest tighten.

“I’m King, now, Y/N. I have to show a strong face in front of this. If I don’t the people will—”

“Yes, yes, I know.” She interrupted in a huff. She forced a smile, knocking her shoulder against his. “Never thought I’d see the day, Nik. Just yesterday you were skinny dipping in the lake and getting yourself punched in the nuts by—”

“Okay that’s enough.�� He scoffed, but grinned, leaning over and propping his head on her shoulder.

Nikolai sighed, closing his eyes for a moment, relishing in a moment of peace before the chaos would begin. He let out a contented hum when she reached up to run her fingers through his hair, nails scraping gently against his scalp. He loved her, he really did. His best friend, his…he looked up at her, peering up at that lovely face, and thought about what it might be like to just give in and kiss her.

No. Now was not the time for any sorts of wild confessions, or even the entertainment of those sorts of thoughts. Not when both of them would soon be in danger. He prayed that she’d make it to the safe house in one piece, because if she didn’t…

“What are you thinking, Moi Tsar?” She teased, still messing with his hair. He grinned and pulled away, taking her hand and examining it, studying the lines and curves of her palm as if they were very, very important. “Nik.” She laughed, tugging at his grip, but he held onto her tighter, looking back up.

“If anything happens to me,” he started, voice low, his eyes scanning her features. “I want you to know that it would’ve been you, for me, if this whole…” He took a breath and cursed himself for not holding his words back, but something in him pressed on. “I’m just saying, when this is over, I’m going to try. I’m going to try and make a place for myself, a permanent place, in your life. Because that is—that is where I want to be.” He tilted his head when he saw her eyes softening, a small frown on her face. “Well don’t jump for joy, or anything.”

She laughed weakly and wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close to her. He breathed in her scent, her cheek pressed against his own, before tugging back. Then he was removing the compass around his neck, his prized possession, and she shook her head quickly.

“No, Nik, I can’t take—”

“Just..so you can find your way home.” And back to me, he wanted to add, but didn’t. “Try not to miss me too much.”

She snorted and allowed him to place the necklace over her head, his hands lingering on it for a moment before letting go.

“I’ll see you.” He promised, as one of the maids came to the door to tell Y/N they were leaving. “I’ll see you after.”

She nodded, suddenly unable to speak, and gave him one last quick hug, arms tight around his neck, before she let go. And Nikolai watched her the entire time, watched until she vanished from sight, and knew, in his heart, that they would see each other again.

#shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #fluff

[naushtheaspiringauthor]

Please please please could you write a Nikolai x reader fic with the Enchanted prompt?? 🥹💕

Majestic- Nikolai Lantsov x reader

A/N- Ignore the image looking so big. Anyways, I had so much fun writing this and I really hope you enjoy reading it! I wrote this one in Nikolai's pov because I love my bbg being a huge simp also jealous Nikolai😩😩

Warnings- None

Summary- Nikolai utterly despised how annoying you are, but when he sees you dancing with someone else during a ball, he experiences feelings he never knew of

Nikolai walked around the hall, checking how Genya's preparations for the upcoming ball had been going on. She'd done a marvellous job, undoubtedly, but still he was astonished to find the boring hall look so endearing. Usually he wasn't much thrilled for these events as they were a frequent occurrence, yet he found himself looking forward to this one as you were supposed to be there

"I'm surprised to say that it's quite impressive how you've turned this monotonous area in this palace to this" He looked around the hall, so as to admire the view

"Surprised? I excel at anything I wish to" Genya responded with a smug look on her face

"Well, I'm not arguing that" Nikolai shrugged. 

"Oh and just so you know, y/n has come back so she'll be attending the event" She spoke again.

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. "That's good, but I don't see why that concerns me" He gave her a disinterested look

"Alright" Genya rolled her single amber eye, not wanting to argue with him further. 

You'd been away for a meeting with the Kerch merchant council for about a week now. Even though Nikolai was relieved to not having to tolerate you making fun of literally everything he did, he was still surprised to find himself missing your devilish grin

............................................................

Nikolai had wore a black coat with the Ravkan double eagle emblazoned to a side. His hair looked much less messier than usual.  

He entered the now endearing hall with light gleaming from every corner. The whole surrounding was filled with a variety of riches, nobles and high ranking officers from the first army. 

He was having a rather displeasing conversation with some merchant about various kinds of brandies when he noticed you enter the hall. You were wearing a midnight blue silk gown with straps that hung beautifully over your shoulders. Your hair was pulled into a bun and had several loose strands falling in front that were too small to be a part of the bun

You seemed to catch most people's attentions as they recognized who you were. You chatted with most of the nobles and they listened to you speak with great interest. The whole scene made Nikolai roll his eyes and get himself another glass of champagne

...................................................

Nikolai was watching the perfectly hung chandeliers when he heard your voice from behind

"Looks like you've found your betrothed, moi tsar" you smirked 

Instead of being annoyed, he smiled back and responded "Well she is radiant and much more quiet then the other options"

"You wish you had that option" You gave him a proud expression

"Ah how unlucky of me to not having the most annoying human on earth as an option to become my betrothed" he gave you similar look

"Keep telling yourself that to soothe your aching heart, moi tsar" you tilted your head to a side

Before Nikolai could respond with equally snarky words, you were snatched away by a noblewoman who began to ask you about the architectural designs in Ketterdam. 

..........................................

Nikolai spent most of his time talking to the guests yet, he could keep his attention towards the conversation which was weird because he was quite good at listening to people talk. He still found his gaze drifting towards you. Why was he even doing that? you were just almost too good at conversating with strangers but why would it matter to him, those people didn't know how annoying you truly were. 

It was maddening how you were hiding your true evil nature so elegantly and how beautiful you were looking in that damned dress and how beautifully it brought out the color of your eyes. 

You were now talking to some, young man who was trying too hard to flirt with you. 

The man was a lot taller than you so you had to look up to meet his gaze. But what was so special about that anyways? Nikolai was a lot taller than you as well or maybe you were just too short. He also had dark hair that was slicked back and small dimples appeared on either side of his cheeks whenever he smiled. What even was so special about dimples anyway? they didn't make him insanely attractive or anything. 

Nikolai was really struggling to not roll his eyes at the sights of all that, yet he couldn't figure out why he was caring so much about it. Why he didn't like it when you weren't spending your evening mocking him but were instead laughing with someone else. 

Soon, the dances were about to begin and the change of the rhythm of the orchestra proved so. 

Several people stepped front to partake in the activity. Nikolai noticed the man with the dimples bringing his hand forward and you taking it as you both stepped in front.

................................................

Nikolai stood in a corner with a half empty glass of champagne in his hand as he watched you glide around the hall with the average looking man. 

He spun you around while his gaze remained fixated on yours. And at times, even grinned like an idiot who'd achieved something huge without any effort. 

Though there were a thousand things Nikolai could be doing at that moment, he continued to look at you with immense grimace. He watched you dance with the bloke as he got himself another glass of champagne. 

.............................................

After what felt like an eternity, the façade was finished and you bid farewell to the man. 

Nikolai was too deep indulged in his thoughts to notice you coming from behind. "You seem to be rather displeased tonight, moi tsarevich" You spoke

He turned around hastily to see you standing in front of him.  "Well, these occasions are all the same, nothing new. People bragging and indulging in useless conversations that might bore you to death and dancing with nincompoops" he grimaced at the last sentence

"All the saints and their aunts, are you jealous your highness?" you smirked

"In your wildest dreams" he responded with a bold expression. "Who even is that guy anyways? Another average man who thinks he can win over anyone with his dimples and weird hair" he muttered loud enough for you to hear

"You know, if you really wished to dance with me, you could've just said so" a corner of your mouth turned up

"Maybe, but you were too occupied grinning with that bloke"

"See? acceptance is a bold step your highness. And don't curse the poor boy so much, he'd already been looking as if he'd been preparing his script for weeks"

"If only he possessed my talents" he smiled proudly

"You know, it's not entirely late for that dance" you tilted your head as you raised your eyebrows.

"Alright then, I shall fulfil that wish of yours too" he responded, his statement making you roll your eyes

He gently offered you his hand and you took it as you both stepped outside the hall.

................................................

The euphonic music playing distantly filled up your ears as you took Nikolai's hands in yours. His gaze remained stagnant on yours and he finally noticed how beautifully your y/e/c eyes shone as the moonlight gleamed on them. At that moment, he could think of nothing but you. How beautiful you appeared, even when you'd be working in the scorching heat or the heavy rain. How smartly you managed to handle any situation without engaging in any form of conflict. How could he not like you if you were that way. How was he to despise you when you were so majestic? Through he was now hating you for being so.

"You know, it wouldn't shatter your pride to just accept the fact that I'm simply the most magnificent woman you've laid your eyes on, your highness" you smiled as you raised your eyebrows

"Nikolai, just Nikolai would do. And I that is very bold of you, but you do more work to keep the country stable than anyone else so I wouldn't say much" he returned your expression

"You aren't denying it either, Nikolai" 

His name coming from your lips made him feel different, as he never had before. It was rather rare of you calling him by his name he couldn't even recall the last time you did. But he knew you were right, he truly never hand seen another woman as magnificent as you.  

No matter how much you annoyed him most of the time or made fun of every thing about him, he really never had known one like you. And seeing you dance with someone else, seeing your hands on someone else's, made him feel emotions he never knew he had. 

You swayed to the soft music playing in the distance as your hands rested on Nikolai's shoulders and his on your waist. 

His soft hazel eyes were fixated on yours as the night went by. He brought out his hand without haste and tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear that had been blocking his view of your beautiful y/e/c eye. 

................................................

The moment went by in a haste as you spoke in a sudden, "I'm afraid I might have to leave now, so as to bid farewells to the guests and I believe you should do the same" 

"Ye-yes you're right" he spoke in a hesitant voice, not willing to part from you. 

Without having another option, you turned to leave as Nikolai held your hand for a moment and then let it go.

You both went your separate ways as Nikolai slightly flexed his hand from your touch. 

After the party ended, he set on his way to his quarters, not realizing how red his cheeks had become. 

#nikolai lantsov x reader #grishaverse #shadow and bone #nikolai lanstov #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #nikolai lanstov x reader

[shakespearseclipse]

Is it chill that you’re in my head?

Summary: Nikolai and y/n have been friends and nothing more. But what happens when the feelings between them change?

Warnings: None

Author’s Note: Hi there! This is my first fanfic (that I’ve posted) and English is not my first language, But I hope you’ll still enjoy this. Oh, and I really don’t know (or care) if this is canon compliant. I might consider writing a second part if anyone is interested. :)

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Nikolai was sparring with Tolya again. Which was nothing out of the ordinary except for one thing: He was shirtless. Unsurprisingly, the number of observers had doubled, young Grisha girls surrounding the lake where the sparring took place. You could only roll your eyes at their obvious stares. Although you had to admit that your best friend was quite nice to look at. Well, that would be an understatement. He looked absolutely marvelous, muscles moving with every movement of his. Everything about your friendship was platonic, but in moments like these, you weren’t sure if you wanted that.

Unfortunately, a group of Etherealki started talking about Nikolai, which didn’t aid your daydreaming to stop.

“Oh, just look at his arms!”

“And his abs.”

You had to hold in a chuckle, it was entertaining to hear these young girls whispering on and on about him. Being completely fixated on the Etherealki’s conversation, you almost missed the wink that Nikolai had thrown you from the sparring ring. Which was a really stupid idea in hindsight, since it caused him to shift his attention from Tolya, which resulted in him barely dodging a punch in the face. Now you couldn’t hold back a chuckle.

“Did you see that? He gave her a wink!”

“She is definitely in love with him!”

“Can you blame her? Who isn’t in love with him?”

It wasn’t the first time you heard people speculating about your friendship with Nikolai, so you had a lot of experience in tuning out these comments. This time however, you couldn’t help but think about a relationship with your best friend. There was no point in denying that he would be an amazing boyfriend. He was funny, attentive, friendly and obviously his good looks wouldn’t pose a problem either. Distracted by your daydreaming, you didn’t notice that the fight had ended.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The second Nikolai left the sparring ring, he overheard some Grisha men talking about some girl in the audience. He decided to stick around and see who they were fussing about.

“She looks amazing. She should wear this red dress more often.”

“Oh yeah, this dress is amazing.”

“I think I’m going to ask her out today.”

After searching the crowd Nikolai realized that the only girl wearing a red dress was his best friend y/n. He couldn’t help but agree with these men. You did look amazing in that dress. He had never thought about you in any way that was not platonic, but now he felt like he couldn’t shake the idea off. Your hair looked so soft in the sunlight he desperately wanted to touch it. And he didn’t even dare thinking about your lips. His brain told him to stop this staring, but his body wouldn’t turn away. He couldn’t let you go on a date with this guy. The thought alone made want to throw up. But that is normal, no? He was just protective of his friend.

“You can’t ask her out. She’s dating the tsar.”

Usually, Nikolai was not a fan of gossip and rumors, but this one he could let be. If it kept these slimy guys away from you, he was more than happy not to correct them.

“I don’t think she is. Have you ever seen them kiss or hold hands?”

“We could just ask. Excuse me, moi tsar, but there are rumors that you and y/n are dating, are they true?”

Nikolai couldn’t believe this guy. He just asked his king about some rumors. The audacity of this Inferni baffled him. A few seconds passed before Nikolai grumbled an annoyed “No.”

“Great! Thank you moi tsar!”

The Inferni immediately made his way over to you and Nikolai could do nothing but try to burn holes in his back with his looks. Which, surprisingly, did not work.

“What’s gotten you in such a bad mood?” Tamar, who had snuck up behind him asked. Nikolai didn’t respond, so she tried to follow his gaze. The second she realized what was going on, she couldn’t help the laughter that escaped.

“Have you finally acknowledged your feelings for her?”

“I don’t have feelings for her.”

“Sure, moi tsar.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Meanwhile, the Inferni called Dmitri had approached you. “Hello y/n.” You greeted him in return. He seemed to be quite nervous, though you couldn’t fathom why.

“Uhm, I wanted to tell you that you look very beautiful today and I wanted to ask you out for a coffee maybe?”

Your gaze fleeted to Nikolai, who was already staring at you. You believed you saw a muscle in his jaw jump. Your eyes drifted back to Dmitri. Maybe a date wasn’t a bad idea. The whole daydreaming about Nikolai today was probably just a result of your practical non-existent love life. Giving Dmitri your sweetest smile, you replied: “Thank you Dmitri, I would love to go on a date with you.”

After deciding the details of your date, you excused yourself and made your way towards your king, who hadn’t moved during your conversation with Dmitri.

“Hello kolya. You seem a little tense.”

When Nikolai finally turned to you, you felt your cheeks starting to burn under his stare. He was close and this proximity didn’t help your heart to slow down. You could feel his own beating just as hard, but you had no idea why. He leaned even closer before whispering in your ear.

“Oh dorogaya, you have no idea.���

Before you could reply, he was stalking away from you. Confused by both his unusual serious behavior and his last statement, you went back to the little palace to get ready for your date later with Dmitri.

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#nikolai x reader #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov x reader #grishaverse #shadow and bone fanfiction #nikolai fluff #nikolai fanfic

[jahayla-parker]

i have a request for nikolaiiiii!!!

"i don't believe in never" "i don't believe in always" "well opposites attract" "never" "always"

Opposites Attract : Nikolai Lantsov x Reader

Note: moodboard was created prior to SAB season 2 hence why it is not Paddy

Description: 8.7k wc, Nikolai and Y/n are very different but when life brings them together, Nikolai begins believing the cliche of 'opposites attract' but will it be enough to come true? enemies-to-lovers type trope, friends-to-lovers trope, enemies-to-friends-to-lovers type trope, bantering/teasing/etc.

Warnings: some angst (turned comfort), few curse words, mentions of war/death/related, Grishaverse typical warnings.

The now-setting sun glared through the circular windows of the castle’s old but polished walls.

Y/n wished to shade her eyes from the harsh light but knew it would look unprofessional to do so.

She elected to shift her eyes to a different part of the ornate painting on the hallway walls across the room where the light wasn’t shining as brightly.

“Greetings milaya” Nikolai grinned, kissing the back of y/n’s hand as he approached her.

She had to restrain herself from rolling her eyes at his flirtatious behavior.

Y/n instead, forced a small curl of her lips and a firm nod, “greetings, tsar”.

Nikolai pursed his lips faintly, a determined glint in his eye despite her response.

“Care to follow me to the balcony where it’s quieter?” He questioned.

She took a sip of her drink, her eyes glancing around the room before she shook her head once.

“Y/n, -“ Nikolai softly protested.

She cut him off with side-eye glance, “I’m afraid you’ll need to find someone else to entertain you moi tsar”.

Nikolai huffed and hesitated for a moment but eventually departed from her.

——

“Care for a drink?” Nikolai questioned, bowing slightly before her as he held out a drink.

Y/n rolled her eyes at him, which only made him smirk.

She shook her head but kept her voice as cordial as possible, “no, moi tsar”.

Nikolai stood up straighter and groaned, “you must know by now that you are not mandated to call me that”.

Y/n pursed her lips in response and nodded, her eyes scanning the room behind him, “of course I’m aware”.

She tried to politely ignore him by monitoring the guests in attendance tonight.

Y/n had been hired to help the King in his quest to rescue trapped Ravkan children from what was essentially a Shu-owned assimilation boarding school.

They kids had been ‘saved by the Shu’ during the most recent battle against the Darkling.

However, intel showed they were being forced to conform to the Shu lifestyle and many Grisha were suspected to be hiding their identities inside these ‘schools’.

It wasn’t an easy feat to hide such information, especially from the Shu.

As such, countless Ravkan children who were Grisha had been identified and taken to a different sector of the school.

It wasn’t clear at this time what was done in that sector, but there were rumors of some experimentations being done.

This week was the first step in a discrete attempt to rescue the Ravkan kids from the boarding school.

Tonight and the night before were staged to appear as the King’s celebrations over the recent victory against the Darkling.

They were an attempt to hide the true nature of the nights, which was to allow advisors to meet with potential informants and other important figures without suspicion.

Y/N’s role during these events was to ensure King Nikolai’s (and his advisors’) safety while they attended to their business.

Which is why it was so frustrating that the King kept choosing to flirt with her instead of letting her do her job.

“Then why do you? Are you that starstruck?” Nikolai teased, leaning slightly against the wall.

She let her eyes flicker to his face just long enough to show him her annoyance before refocusing on their surroundings.

“Seriously though, why are you so stubborn when it comes to my name?” He asked, his tone now sincere.

Y/n continued watching the guests as she responded confidently, “you call it stubborn, I call it protocol”.

“Protocol? This is a party, beautiful, you can let go of those roles” Nikolai offered, exuding his usual charm.

She knew better than to fall for it, regardless of if she wanted to or not.

He was known as not only a flirt but as a dangerously charming person.

Not only that, but she couldn’t stand the fact that he so carelessly did as he pleased.

That wasn’t a luxury many had; she certainly did not.

Yet, he was pushing her buttons trying to get her to do just that.

Unfortunately for him, she saw through it and held her own.

She no longer cared if she came across as rude, considering he didn’t care how he came across.

So she rolled her eyes and ignored him, focusing on a short stout man with a white beard as he held a seemingly tense conversation on the other side of the room.

“Am I truly that horrible of company?” He teased, smirking at her.

When she didn’t respond, choosing to watch the body language of the stout man instead, he continued.

“I do apologize precious, I must admit that’s new for me. Yet, I’m sure I’m capable of figuring out how to remedy that” Nikolai bantered confidently.

There it was again, that stupid confidence cockiness.

“Do you always flirt this much with your guards and advisors? I know I’m beautiful, but do you actually ever get work done?” She argued, throwing confidence back at him.

Nikolai tilted his head slightly to the left “I don’t flirt with everyone”.

Y/n dramatically raised her right eyebrow to show her doubt.

“Well, not in this manner” he smirked.

She silenced a groan and returned to scanning the room.

“As you said, we’re on the same team here, so why are you being so somber?” Nikolai questioned, crossing his arms over his chest.

Y/n glowered over at him, “I’m not somber, I’m doing my job”.

The man before her seemed to switch to a new tactic as he insulted, “aren’t you just the life of the party.“

She ignored the weird sensation in her chest and glared at him.

As she rolled her eyes she reminded him, “I’m not here to be the life of the party, moi tsar”.

It took a lot of strength to not smack him for having the nerve to insult her for doing what was required of her.

If she were to do as he suggested, she’d undoubtedly not perform her duties as well.

How he didn’t see or comprehend that was beyond her.

Yet, he showed again that he didn’t seem to understand that logic as he dared to critique her approach again.

Nikolai even winked this time as he commented, “no one would care if you relaxed some, after all your tsar said it was acceptable”.

“I will not have people seeing me do anything other than my job” y/n argued firmly, pulling on the hem of her uniform to straighten it.

“No one cares y/n, people only care about your title, you’re a leading General, that’s enough for them to consistently see you as such; no matter if you relax some at a party once in awhile” he laughed, carefree.

“News flash but not everyone sees me the same way they see you" y/n snapped at him.

The confusion on Nikolai’s face was evident, prompting her to elaborate.

“You were raised in a castle, as a prince. Then you became King as a birthright. You didn’t have to fight to earn the respect of the people. I did; I still do” she respectfully informed him.

Nikolai ignored the fact that he could argue about how it wasn’t truly his birthright.

And how as such, he did have to earn his people’s respect; or felt he had to at least.

Instead he could see the strong emotions behind her words and understood her drive, fear, and determination.

“After this, you won’t have to worry about that again. The people will always respect you” he assured her.

“That will never happen. Doesn’t matter if we save the school or not” she argued, her eyes solemn as she turned to him.

“I don't believe in never" Nikolai smirked, hoping to ease her fears.

“I don't believe in always" y/n rebutted.

“Well, opposites attract" Nikolai winked.

Just like that he was back to his mockingly flirtatious behavior she couldn’t trust or stand.

“Never" she groaned, refusing to look into his unfairly charming eyes.

“Always" Nikolai quipped, kissing the back of her hand before walking away.

——

“Morning milaya” Nikolai greeted, approaching her in the dinning hall.

“Don't talk to me, someone might think we are friends." She remarked, reading the papers before her.

“Aren’t we?” He teased, standing beside her.

She glanced at him judgingly from the side of her eye.

“Come on, you know you want to be my friend” Nikolai whispered.

Y/n flipped pages on the documents on the table as she argued, “no, I hate you”.

“Why? I’m lovely” he grinned, leaning on the table.

She rolled her eyes so hard she thought she might give herself a headache, “I think you mean overly confident.”

“Perhaps, but, you know what they say,” he whispered, his arm brushing against hers.

“Love and hate are two sides of a very, very thin line” Nikolai remarked, smiling to himself as he watched her.

She’s sucked in a deep breath of air and stared straight ahead as she awaited Tamar’s return so they could begin the next stage of planning.

“Fine, be stubborn. You’ll fall in love me soon, but don’t worry, I’ll be there to catch you when you do” he declared, nudging her softly.

“Unfortunately for you, I fall in love with souls not faces” y/n bantered with a smirk.

“So you’re saying I have a face worth falling for?” Nikolai retorted smugly.

She stiffened quickly, “I said nothing of the sort”.

“Yes, you did. You so did. You find me attractive” he began, his tone soft.

“Or perhaps gorgeous. Or dashing. Or-“ Nikolai elaborated in a sing-songy voice.

“Oh my Saints! Shut up already Nikolai” y/n huffed.

Nikolai grinned at how he had already seemingly made headway with her, “you called me Nikolai!”

She groaned, “I truly despise you”.

——

“I know that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision, I have elected to ignore it" y/n argued, walking away from him.

Nikolai rolled his eyes, “just because you are trying to deny the spark between us doesn’t mean everything I decide is wrong”.

Y/n ignored the first part of his sentence as she stated “you might be King, but given you grew up in a palace and I didn’t, it’s clear I’d know trade far better”.

He elected to suppress the ability to argue her claim by informing her of Sturmhond / how he was also a privateer.

“Besides, you have no connections in Ketterdam, they don’t give a damn you’re a King or I’m a General” she added.

“So, I repeat, bad idea” y/n declared.

Nikolai sighed, “Well, I’m going, so…”

“Saints I hate you” she growled as she tugged an extra bag to her.

Upon seeing her packing to leave with him, Nikolai smirked at the thought of her willing to join him for his safety.

“What?” Y/n asked, catching his gaze.

Nikolai shrugged, “I was wondering which will get you killed faster-your loyalty or your stubbornness”.

“Since my loyalty is unfortunately tied to you, moi tsar, both are strong possibilities” she joked with a smirk.

“I promise to keep you safe milaya” Nikolai admitted.

She rolled her eyes and scoffed, “I don’t need your help staying safe. Let’s just get this excursion over with so we can return and present Shu Han with the relic and be done with this”.

He sighed but decided to let her finish packing in silence.

—--

“Go away” y/n warned harshly, staring off the side of the Volkvolny.

Nikolai sighed loudly, daring to near her as he begged, “don’t be like that.”

“Like what?!” She yelled, turning sharply to face him, “honest and transparent about things?”

He huffed, “I believe the apparat can arrange some anger management for you when return”.

She rolled her eyes and shook her head, “ I don't need anger management. I need you to stop pissing me off."

Nikolai sighed, leaning on the railing beside her, “You’re truly disgruntled over this”.

It was evident it wasn’t a question.

What wasn’t evident to y/n however, was Nikolai’s guilt and sadness over such.

“Would you not be? You kept this from me” y/n argued.

“Not like we’re friends” Nikolai rebutted but instantly regretted it.

She was the one to say those things or snap, not him.

They were opposite, but that’s why it worked.

They could balance each other out.

Nikolai opened his mouth to take it back.

But before he could she turned stoic and turned from him.

“I suppose that’s true” she nodded, her tone normal and steady again.

“Y/n-“ he sighed guiltily.

Her tone was soft as she muttered “you should have mentioned you were a pirate”.

“Privateer” Nikolai corrected, adding a wink when she turned to him.

She took deep breath, “I deserved to know”.

He nodded slowly, but then smirked as he sensed the possibility of a deeper meaning, “as mijn liefje you deserved far more than that darling”.

Y/n yet again rolled her eyes as she corrected him, “ I deserved to know as I’m the General of this mission”.

Nikolai sighed, upset his approach once again didn’t work.

“It changes the whole context of this trip to Kerch. I presume there’s also some connection to Ketterdam you’ve kept from me?” She questioned accusingly.

He stared into the water surrounding them and nodded, “Kaz Brekker and his crows are to have the relic in possession”.

Y/n silently nodded in response.

“Told you it wasn’t a bad idea” he teased in an attempt to break the palpable tension.

She turned to him, “you’re right. Your decision wasn’t so moronic after all. Lying to me, however…”

“How can I make it right Mijn liefje?” He questioned.

Nikolai watched as she stared at him before shaking her head and moving to walk off.

“Apologies General. Truly, how do I amend this?” He spoke up, following her.

Y/n didn’t bother looking at him as she responded, “you don’t care”.

“Yes, I do” he defended, brows furrowed.

Y/n huffed, “Fine. Don’t lie again and we can work successfully together. I’ll work on once again believing what you say, at least for matters pertaining to this mission”.

Nikolai sighed loudly, “fine. And how do I remedy this to you, y/n?”

“Excuse me? Are you choosing not to listen again? Is there a mirror around or something that you’re getting lost in?” She accused, eyes staring aggressively at him.

He chuckled at her thinly veiled insult but shook his head, “you said how to fix the distrust I have formed with my General. But how do I fix it with you”

When she caught on to what he was asking, she bit her inner cheek.

“Who says I ever trusted you?” She defended, hoping it would keep him from staring at her the way he currently was.

“Y/n, we both know you wouldn’t put up with me if you didn’t” he remarked confidently.

She scoffed loudly and stared at the dark body of water over the railing.

Nikolai waited silently for her response.

The answer eventually came out from her lips quietly but cut them both, “you can’t”.

Nikolai felt a sharp pain in his chest and closed his eyes tightly.

“Surely there must be something” he pleaded.

Y/n took a deep breath as she faced him, “you have refused to take this seriously, and instead flirted with me non stop since I arrived. And now I find out you have a second side of you, of which I was not aware of.”

Nikolai opened his eyes slowly as he fought the urge to curl up in a ball and sink through the ship into the deep waters below.

“Minimal trust may be needed to maintain our working relationship, but that’s all I’ll be able to muster up” she declared, stepping away from him and towards the stairs leading to the lower deck.

“Please” he panicked, grabbing her wrist.

Y/n stopped walking but didn’t turn around, “ I told you we can work together; what do you want?”

“You,” Nikolai admitted, a small nervous laugh following his confession.

He feigned confidence as he was fairly certain that his feelings were as clear from the start as her dismissals were.

Y/n took his confession as another flirtation and his laughter as evidence of his lack of sincerity. “Even now, you can’t be serious” she groaned, pulling her wrist away.

Nikolai determinedly followed after her, not ready to give up on trying to explain himself.

Just as he began to near her, they were hit by a strong gust of wind, sending her sliding down the deck.

As the ship steadied, she stood up only to find her foot had caught in a pile of ropes.

She angrily began pulling at them, her frustration growing as her actions only made it more tangled.

“Here,” Nikolai offered as he bent down to help untangle her.

"I don't need your help” she snapped defensively.

Nikolai chuckled softly, “are you sure? Cause it sure does look like it. ".

“No, I can handle myself” y/n declared, pulling at the knotted rope.

Nikolai softened his voice as he motioned to the pile at her feet, “humor me”.

“Fine” y/n sighed, dropping the ropes so he could work with them.

It took him a few minutes to get her completely untangled thanks to her frantic attempts to free herself.

Once the rope was no longer wrapped around her legs like a snake, she sat down on the bench at the edge of the deck.

Nikolai joined her, watching her closely as she flexed and stretched her ankles.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” She groaned.

“Like what?” He wondered aloud.

Y/n gave him a knowing look, “Like you’re intrigued”.

“Maybe because I am, you’re very alluring” he complimented.

She shook her head, “I don’t get why you’re doing this. I’m not the good guy Nikolai. You don’t know me like you think you do”

“Who said I was? And,” he waved around the deck , “I could say the same.”

Y/n sighed and nodded, “true you are a lying pirate.”

“Privateer” Nikolai groaned exasperatedly but smiled when she laughed.

“I am sorry for keeping it from you” he swore.

Y/n hummed and glanced over at him, “why did you?”

“I wasn’t sure how you, a General, would feel about that lifestyle” he confessed, interlocking his fingers to keep from nervously fiddling them.

“Why would that matter?” She pressed.

Nikolai turned to her, “why wouldn’t it? I told you, I’m int-“.

“Stop” y/n cut him off, her voice strained.

“What?” He pondered, trying to read her eyes.

“Stop saying you’re interested in me. I know your reputation, and I don’t date or sleep with men I work with” y/n told him.

Nikolai nodded sincerely, “good policy, but there is a way to fix it so that’s not a problem”.

“You’d fire me” she said in disbelief.

He shrugged, “if you wanted me to”.

“Why would I want that?” Y/n questioned sharply.

“Perhaps because despite your claim otherwise, you can feel this thing between us” Nikolai argued.

She gave him a pathetically weak side glare, making him smirk but ultimately still deciding to drop it for now.

“You didn’t answer my question” he pointed out.

“Which one? You tend to have a lot” she smirked.

He laughed and shook his head.

When he calmed he took her hand in his, “how do I make up for this?”

She watched as he waved his hands to signal the deck/ship.

“You don’t need to” she told him softly.

Nikolai sighed, “Yes I do”.

“No. I never asked anything that would mean you should tell me” y/n explained.

“Still. All flirting and banter aside, I respect you. And as such should’ve informed you” he declared.

She smiled faintly, “any other secrets you’re keeping?”

“No” he promised firmly.

“Then we’re okay” she obliged.

Nikolai’s face lit up, “really?”

“You being real with me just there? Without flirting? That’s enough” y/n nodded.

Nikolai hummed as he nodded his head slowly, “Do you always push away guys who flirt with you?”

“When they’re obnoxious” she smirked.

He faked a gasp, “I’m fantastic company”.

He cautiously placed an arm around her as the wind picked up again, causing bumps to form on her exposed skin.

She sighed and whispered very lowly, “I suppose you’re not horrible”.

He smirked as he continued watching her closely.

“My turn, why do you say I don’t know you?” He wondered.

Y/n bit her lip as she looked towards him, “everyone sees me as a General.. but I didn’t start that way”.

When Nikolai nodded for her to continue, she took a deep breath.

“It goes without saying I had to work my way up to get here. But… I’ve made some egregious errors along the way” she whispered.

Nikolai squeezed her shoulder tenderly in response.

“In order to get to where I am, I had to be the one to order my fellow soldiers to fight in battles we knew would be deadly. I know there wasn’t another choice I could have made. But I still ordered them to fight in futile battles all because my job demanded I do such “ y/n sighed.

“I’ve fought with countless soldiers only to watch them meet their demise in combats we shouldn’t have agreed to enter. We were told that we needed to find a way to increase the area for which our country could claim as won territory. While the fights did give us more claimed mileage, it came at a cost. Many lost their lives and I was rewarded by getting a promotion “ she told him, her voice laced with disgust.

Nikolai had been rubbing her shoulder in silence as he listened to her.

As she concluded the story, he took a moment to compose his thoughts.

Y/n seemed to notice this, “if you’re trying to look for any redeeming qualities. Don’t. I don't have any."

“That’s not true. You both literally and metaphorically fought to get here. To earn your place. You are strong, courageous, determined, loyal, and caring. I don’t know another General who shows as much compassion and concern for those in their command as you” Nikolai assured her, his hand squeezing her shoulder and guiding her slightly closer.

Y/n gave him a thankful smile before turning her gaze back to the water.

They sat in a delicate blanket of silence as they watched the waves crashing around them.

At some point, y/n’s sleep deprivation kicked in and she laid her head on his shoulder.

Nikolai smiled as she unconsciously scooted closer due to the frigid air.

It was only a matter of minutes before Nikolai joined her in slumber.

——

“Well that went well” Y/n smirked.

Nikolai rolled his eyes “you’re just jealous”.

She laughed and shook her head, “oh do enlighten me Nikolai, what is it I’m jealous of exactly?”

“Of my source” he stated, sitting at the oak chair in his ship’s office.

“Inej Ghafa? She’s beautiful, so jealousy wouldn’t be unfounded but I don’t care to be her.” Y/n stated with a shrug.

“Besides, criticism doesn't always equal jealousy. It's time that you learned that” she remarked.

“You only say that to cover your jealousy” Nikolai pressed; partially to hide his embarrassment over the failed mission and partially to try and have her confess.

“Nikolai” she laughed exasperatedly, “your source isn’t loyal to any of us. She’s loyal to Brekker. Saying such is a remark of criticism, not jealousy. Unless you’re suggesting I’m jealous of her for being partners with Brekker and not you.”

She stood beside him, hands pointlessly rummaging through the documents on the table, “that would be founded since he’s likely the one getting the actual intel from your source”.

Nikolai scoffed but was unable to think of a comeback, opting for “he’s not a King”.

“So?” Y/n questioned, moving to grab the extra chair.

“So, he…” Nikolai mumbled, his voice trailing off.

Y/n smirked at him, dragging her chair to the other side of his desk, “Were you trying to make me see you as superior to Brekker? You were jealous over even the notion I thought otherwise, huh? Rather hypocritical there, moi tsar”.

“Shut up” Nikolai glared.

“Never” y/n laughed and as she saw he wasn’t going to respond she decided to add another comment.

“I don’t believe in never” she said, using a voice intended to be mocking of his.

“I love it when you quote me” he smirked, “even if you do so in an absurd voice”.

Y/n laughed, “It’s your voice”.

“It is not” Nikolai protested.

She crossed her arms loosely over her chest, “It so is”.

“No” he argued with a pout.

Y/n rolled her eyes playfully, “Why are you always so annoying?”

“I’m not, after all, I thought you don’t believe in always?“ Nikolai reminded her tauntingly.

Y/n gave him a glaring side eye glance and tossed some hair over her shoulder.

She picked up her pace to increase the distance between them.

But Nikolai saw her bashful grin and lip bite nonetheless.

——

“That’s idiotic” Felix, a low-ranking member of their team, said to Nikolai; leaning on the desk in frustration.

”Hey, you can't speak to Nikolai that way, “ y/n spoke as she sauntered into the room, “only I can!"

Nikolai smirked at her before smiling and broke into a laugh as he shook his head.

“Nonetheless, what idiotic decision did he make this time?” She asked, glancing at Felix after smirking back at Nikolai.

“That’s no way to speak of your charming King” Nikolai huffed.

She giggled, “you overestimate your charm moi tsar”.

As she turned back to Felix, she requested clarification, “go on, what is it you have a problem with?”.

“Entering the village without reinforcements is bound to be a.. improper act “ Felix muttered, choosing his words carefully so as to not insult the Ravkan King.

Y/n briefly thought on it and nodded, “you fear an ambush or set up”.

“Yes General y/l/n” Felix agreed with a small nod.

Nikolai watched silently to see who y/n would side with.

“I can certainly comprehend the reasoning for your hesitation and frustration Private, but nonethelsss the King is very well aware of that possibility” y/n assured him.

Nikolai smirked and puffed his chest confidently.

“I saw to it” she glanced at Nikolai knowingly before turning back to Felix.

“So, while your concern is not ill-founded, you are mistaken if you believe that is enough to call off the effort” y/n told him vaguely.

“But-“ Felix protested firmly.

“No buts. We do not have time for futile arguments on the matter. The King and I have to be on our way t-“ y/n professionally informed Felix.

“Saints! You-“ Felix interrupted, his voice loud and tone laced with judgment.

“Private Felix, I advise you to stop. You will not disrespect General y/l/n that way. Certainly not in my presence” Nikolai spoke calmly but definitively.

Y/n fought to hide her shock as she slyly glanced over towards Nikolai.

Catching her side gaze, he made faint eye contact with her to show his seriousness and sincerity before he faced the Private again.

“She is our top General and when speaking to her, you will address her as such. You will not speak over her or argue when she has stated the matter is over” Nikolai ordered.

Felix stood silently, his body rigid.

“Is that understood Felix?” Nikolai pressed, tilting his head slightly as he watched the Private squirm slightly under his stare.

“Yes moi tsar,” Felix professed with a slight bow.

Nikolai glanced over at y/n to check if she was okay.

She had him a small smile and nodded.

As Nikolai faced the man, he rose from his seat, “your time would be better spent readying the horses for the journey”.

Felix nodded rapidly, lowering his head slightly in both Nikolai and y/N’s directions before leaving.

Upon the door closing behind Felix, Nikolai began apologizing for the Private’s behavior.

Y/n shook her head, “thank you. You didn’t need to do that”.

“As I told you before, you’ve more than earned your title and position. It does not matter what your upbringing was, you’ve earned that respect” Nikolai explained delicately.

She smiled softly as she teased, “hmmm maybe your charm isn’t so bad”.

Nikolai grinned and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, “told ya you’d warm up to me”.

“Don’t push your luck, moi tsar” y/n joked, smirking at him.

He groaned playfully and shook his head.

——

The cheers began droning out as the crew gathered by the desk to review the current success and their next step.

Y/n glanced at Nikolai, her smile still on her face from having retrieved the relic and the contagious excitement of their crew.

Nikolai grinned back widely, “Please keep smiling at me like that-ow!”

Y/n smacked his arm and turned to face the rest of their crew as they began planning the next steps.

“Okay! I'll pay attention." He sighed, rubbing his arm.

“I’m just saying. We can’t go in expecting it to be just as easy as it was last time. If things go wrong even slightly, children will die” y/n clarified after having critiqued someone’s overconfident suggestion.

“Great pep talk” one of Nikolai’s men joked.

”Well sorry that l'm not full of sunshine and rainbows" She defended stoically but Nikolai watched the way her gaze shifted away from everyone.

“That’s where I come in!” Nikolai exclaimed, nudging her, “we balance each other out like that”

She glanced up and gave him a weak glare and smirk.

He smirked at her before looking at the crew, “Now,”.

—

“Hey, y/n-“ Nikolai said, grabbing her hand as she went to exit.

As she turned to him, she spoke emotionlessly “moi tsar”

“Stop, please” He sighed.

“What?” Y/n questioned, watching him closely.

“Calling me that… in a serious way” Nikolai mumbled.

She raised an eyebrow at him, “I don’t follow”.

“It’s cute when you do it to annoy me” he confessed, “But you’re using it in a serious manner right now”.

“It is your title” y/n pointed out hesitantly.

“But it’s not what you need to call me. You’re deflecting” Nikolai responded confidently.

“I am not” she argued, looking away from him.

“I know what they said got to you” Nikolai acknowledged.

Y/n shrugged, and resumed her exit “I’m fine”.

Nikolai grabbed her wrist again, “I’m well aware of that. I’m merely wanting to mention that what you said was crucial”.

She stared silently at him as she waited for him to explain.

“I know they wanted an upbeat message for their send-off, but that’s not what they needed. That’s not what the mission or the children need. They needed the reality check of what a slip-up might mean” Nikolai elaborated, thumb brushing her forearm.

She sighed quietly and nodded hesitantly, “you don’t need to try and charm me”

“Cause I already do so effortlessly?” He teased with a wink.

Y/n chuckled and shook her head.

“Kidding, I’m not trying to charm or flatter you, I truly mean it. I meant what I said, we compliment each other. Your message was just as important if not more and it was better articulated than I would’ve been able to do and more accurate in tone than I’d be able to muster” he complimented.

“You do like to act a fool” she teased with a small smirk.

“I believe you mean jester” Nikolai rebutted.

“That’s better?” She laughed loudly in disbelief.

He shrugged, “I’ll be whatever you want me to be”.

She rolled her eyes and laughed with him, “saints I hate you. “

—

“It could all be over tomorrow” Nikolai stated as he sat beside her.

She nodded as she stared into distance, “yeah”.

“It’ll be alright you know?” He offered quietly.

“It’s impossible to know that” y/n pessimistically argued.

Nikolai bummed, “Most people say impossible when they really mean improbable”.

“No, I meant impossible,” she remarked.

“How do you know I’m not some future seeing Saint?” Nikolai scoffed.

She raised an eyebrow at him, “I thought you were done hiding secrets?”

“Any secrets about myself that I know of, you know of now. It’s possible that I don’t know I have that ability yet” Nikolai rambled.

She stared at him silently.

“I didn’t say probable” he laughed with a shrug.

She groaned but laughed along with him, a tiny smile on her lips.

“Nikolai?” Y/n whispered after a couple moments of silence.

“Yeah Y/n?” He asked, his full attention turning to her.

“Thank you” she mumbled quietly.

“For being my charming self?” He joked, smirking.

She looked away as she admitted, “actually, yes”

Shock erased the smirk from Nikolai’s face as he stared at her stunned, “yes?”

“You’ve oddly made this trip much more enjoyable than I’d anticipated” y/n explained slowly, resisting the urge to stop confessing her feelings.

He smiled widely, “glad I could relieve some of the copious amount of stress you carry even if only briefly”.

She laughed, “ I said more enjoyable not less stressful”.

“Please, you already said you do find me enjoyable. You can’t find my behavior enjoyable and also stress inducing” he defended smugly.

“I wasn’t referring to your behavior” she whispered, tone suddenly turning serious again.

“Then what?” Nikolai pondered aloud.

When she didn’t respond, he lowered his voice and tried again, “Y/n?”

“Hey, -“ he sighed upon further silence from her.

“You” she blurted, shutting her eyes.

Nikolai’s mind and body froze in shock for a moment.

He recognized the meaning behind her words given her body language and tone.

“Wait…?” He began, watching her closely.

He smirked, “you not only grew fond of me, you did fall for me after all; didn’t you”.

Y/n remained silent but opened her eyes to stare at the water surrounding them.

“So much for hating me, huh? I told you, opposites attract” Nikolai teased.

“Goddammit! No! I hate you! I hate you and your dumb voice and your stupid muscles and your awfully attractive face!" She groaned, rubbing her hands down her face.

He chuckled, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her to him.

She shook her head in annoyance as her forehead rested against his chest.

“What did I tell you about hate?” He teased, his lips just above her ear.

“Love and hate are two sides of a very, very thin line.” She whispered.

The sincerity of her voice made his smirk fade and his attitude shift to a more serious tone.

He hummed, “I truly do love it when you quote me.”

She closed her eyes as his breath hit her ear.

They sat there like that for a few minutes in peaceful silence.

Suddenly y/n shook her head and pushed back from him.

Nikolai complied, moving his arms to let her free instantly upon seeing the sign of her unspoken desire.

Nonetheless, he wished to know what changed, “Y/n?”

She sighed deep, “I cant- we, can’t do this, it won’t work and I’ll lose everything I’ve worked for”.

“What are you talking about?” Nikolai questioned.

Y/n merely shook her head and stood to leave.

Nikolai clasped her wrist but slid his hand down until he could interlock their fingers.

“Y/n, when we first met you said I flirted with everyone. If that’s what this is about-“ he tried.

She shook her head again, “It’s not”.

“It’s not?” He questioned with uncertainty.

Y/n made eye contact with him as she assured him, “No. I know your intentions are pure, even if your flirtations aren’t always”.

He chuckled briefly, squeezing her hand to encourage her to continue.

She gave him a sympathetic look as she sighed, “I fought too hard to get here. I’d be giving it all up”.

“What are you talking about? I’m not asking you to give up any-“ Nikolai argued, his brows furrowed.

“You’re not. I know” she acknowledged, her sad eyes confusing him more.

“But, if I.. if we follow whatever this is between us…” she mumbled as she looked away.

“No matter all the work I’ve put in to earn my place as a General, people are going to think I’ve slept my way to my position” y/n explained quietly.

“You had the position before we met” Nikolai pointed out softly.

“They won’t see it like that” y/n declared.

He sighed slowly, “Who cares what they think?”

“I do! See, that’s just it” she sighed, “we’re too opposite. I care what they think.”

“Woah, hey,” he panicked, tugging her hand back towards him as she went to leave.

“No, I- … I can’t” she sighed, pulling her hand in an attempt to depart.

“Y/n, milaya please, let’s at least talk about this. If you truly want us to be something, I promise that w-“ he pleaded.

“Nikolai, please” she choked, “stop”.

Nikolai sighed defeatedly and let go of her hand.

“You won’t understand no matter how hard you try and I wouldn’t want you to be able to” she told him with her back to him.

“I’m sorry Nikolai, but-“ y/n sighed.

“Do you want us to be something?” He pressed.

She took a deep breath and nodded.

“I do. But It doesn’t matter what I want” she sighed, walking away.

“It does to me” Nikolai called out in a soft whisper.

It was enough to make her pause briefly.

But in the end she shook head with her back still to him and resumed her exit as she headed to her bunk.

Neither one of them slept well that night.

—-

Y/n glanced up from her bowl of cold oatmeal as she heard footsteps.

Upon having made eye contact with an equally slept deprived Nikolai, she gave him a small sympathetic smile.

He gave her a kind nod before grabbing himself a bowl.

A few silent moments later he sat beside her, his spoon stirring in his bowl mindlessly.

“Those things you said yesterday... Did you mean them?" He asked, his eyes still on his bowl of oats.

Y/N’s stomach dropped.

“I did, but like I said-“ she began, dropping her spoon into her bowl as she started to stand.

Nikolai gently rested his hand on hers against the table, “you can stay. I won’t mention it again. That’s all I wanted to know”.

Y/n glanced at him with sad eyes trying to send him a look that communicated her seriousness of her position but also her disappointment with their predicament.

Nikolai seemed to read it as he hooked his fingers under hers and gave her hand a squeeze.

She sighed softly, squeezing his hand back before he removed his.

“So we face Shu Han today” he mumbled.

Y/n hummed, “yeah, should be fun, huh?”

Nikolai chuckled, leaning down and nudging her shoulder with his, “I don’t foresee it lasting long”

“Don’t jinx it, or I’ll need a pardon” she glared.

“A pardon for?” He interrogated, stirring his oats.

“For regicide” she smirked, taking a bite of her breakfast.

Nikolai choked and snapped his head to her with wild eyes but a knowing smile on his lips, “how do you propose you’ll get a pardon if you’ve already killed me darling?”

“You’d sign it before your murder, moi tsar” she stated simply, not looking at him.

“Oh, would I now?” He chuckled.

She nodded, “yes”.

“And why would I do something like that?” He pondered playfully.

“You wouldn’t want me to be charged, would you?” She questioned, bashfully blinking at him.

He swallowed thickly and shook his head, “no”.

“See” she winked, turning back to the table.

Nikolai blushed and rolled his eyes, “I would like to believe I’d not sign my life away by giving you a pardon for my murder though, y/n/n”.

She hummed, “I’ve earned this title for a reason, moi tsar, I assure you it wouldn’t be an option”.

Nikolai snorted, “so you’re not just murdering me, you’re going to torture me until you manage to force me to sign a pardon for said murder?”

She laughed and gave a small nod, eyes stuck on her bowl.

Nikolai tilted his head unconsciously as he focused on listening intently to her laughter.

“Don’t jinx it then” she replied, looking up.

She felt her face warm as she saw the stupid grin on his face and how he’d been silently watching her.

Nikolai smiled and nodded, “as you wish General y/l/n”.

Y/n huffed, “much better”.

He chuckled, nudging her again, “finish your breakfast, we’ll need it”.

She glared over at him, “now you’re jinxing it the other direction?!”

Nikolai laughed and shook his head, “course not”.

She raised her eyebrow at him in question.

“I was balancing it out” he winked.

She laughed loudly, her hand covering her lips instantly as she forced herself to stop laughing.

Nikolai frowned slightly as he watched her stop herself from enjoying herself.

“You can laugh y/n” he spoke tenderly.

“Obviously” she remarked, giving him a small smile.

He sighed, setting his hand on top of hers again, “you should laugh, besides you have an amazing laugh”

She furrowed her eyebrows, pulling her hand back, “you’re telling me to laugh? What’s next, are you going to tell me to smile?”

Nikolai took in deep breath, “no, I umm.. I didn’t mean it like that”.

“Then what did you mean?” She questioned, watching him intently.

He sighed, “I’ve been watching you constantly deny yourself happiness and fun”.

“And?” She wondered aloud.

“And you deserve better” he shrugged.

Y/n stiffened, “I know how to take care of myself moi tsar”.

“General y/n, I’m well aware of that. I’m merely suggesting you could, per chance, let yourself enjoy life from time to time” he fought.

“I’m a General, Nikolai. That’s not something I have the luxury of doing” she stated.

He sighed, “that sounds like an excuse”.

“And that sound like the end of the conversation” y/n argued, standing back up.

“Y/n,” he sighed, reaching for her hand in apology.

“Nikolai, stop” she whimpered, making him retract his hand instantly.

She took an audibly deep breath, “my apologies, moi tsar. That was inappropriate. As was this whole conversation. And last night, I -“.

He stood, “don’t. You may choose to deny yourself the opportunity to experience joy and happiness. But I won’t accept you making that choice for me”.

He left without another word.

Y/n whimpered to herself as she leaned on the edge of his desk in despair.

—-

Nikolai grinned as he watched the last of the Shu Han soldiers retreat.

They’d been able to get the children out safely prior to Shu Han guards being alerted, but then all hell broke loose.

Fortunately, they’d planned for such and came well prepared for a fight.

He was very pleased they succeeded on their first attempt.

However, as he spun around to celebrate with y/n he saw her bracing herself against the brick wall.

Panic and anger rushed through his whole body as his eyes landed on the large patch of blood covering her side and seeping past her hand.

“Y/n!” He shouted as he ran over to her with wide eyes.

Y/n shifted in an attempt to stand up straighter, “I’m fine”.

Nikolai stared at her in clear disbelief, “you got shot. There's a bullet in you! I can see it. "

"I can feel it. " she hissed, pressing her hand harder against her wound.

He sighed, “Let me help you”.

“No, thank you, but no” y/n rejected, taking a few unsteady steps down the road.

Nikolai groaned, “Why? You’re shot for saint’s sake!”

“I don’t think a King is supposed to swear like that” she joked, giving him a small smile to assure him she wasn’t mad at him.

He shook his head, “now isn’t the time for jokes. You need a healer, come on”.

“I’m coming” she agreed, ignoring the hand he extended out to her for support.

He watched as she pushed herself up off of the wall completely, stumbling a few inches.

“Why are you so damn stubborn? I’m just trying to help you walk” Nikolai huffed.

She sent him a look that almost buckled his knees.

The pain, sadness sorrow, and guilt behind it deeply confused and hurt him.

“Y/n, talk to me. Please. Help me understand“ he pleaded.

“If I take your help-“ she sighed, looking down.

“You’re not going to owe anything to me Y/n. Or to Ravka, or anyone, I swear that to you. I know how it normally would go, but I won’t allow that to happen. That’s in my control, and you have my vow I won’t let it. Please, just let me carry you to the Volkvolny so the healer can see to your wound” Nikolai pleaded softly.

Y/n softened her gaze and shot him a grateful smile but still shook her head, “moi-… Nik, I-… I will lose the respect of my men if -“.

He nearly grinned at the nickname and had it not been for current affairs he would have.

Nikolai sighed, “you got shot defending the King”.

“And yet, the King would be the one having to carry me out? I don’t think so. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to offend you, truly. But I can’t” she pleaded for him to comprehend what she was saying.

“I understand… as much as I can anyways… but compromise?” He asked with a small smile.

She looked up and nodded slowly in confusion.

Nikolai looped himself under her arm as she pressed her hand harder into her side.

Y/n let him support her so she could walk easier; even letting herself lean on him some as they went.

But suddenly she halted, causing Nikolai to look at her as she turned to him with a slight wince from the shift.

“Thank you” she stated, eyes boring into his.

He smiled and winked, “couldn’t give you an actual reason to hate me”.

She laughed softly, “not just for this. For everything. I know I’m not the most likable person”.

“Y/n stop,” Nikolai protested, brown knit together “you’re endearing”.

She smiled softly, and shook her head, “I appreciate that, but that’s you. It’s like you said, we're opposites”.

He hummed, “You have to put on a harder front, but that doesn’t mean that’s who you are, I’ve seen who you are”.

Y/n failed to fight her eyes watering as she rested her head on his shoulder, “maybe I don’t hate you”.

Nikolai chuckled tenderly, “Hmm now see, I think that wound must be worse than it looked”.

“Shut up” she groaned with a small laugh.

He grinned over at her, “Much more like it; let’s go darling”.

----

Nikolai stood watching in the doorway of the Volkvolny’s makeshift medical ward as Genya worked on bringing y/n’s skin back together.

“He doesn’t usually stick around for this part” she grinned, her hand turning slightly to cover a new angle of the wound.

Nikolai coughed loudly and gave the healer a warning look before giving y/n an apologetic one.

Y/n smiled softly at him, “I’m a valuable member to your crew if I do say so myself”.

He smirked and nodded before his eyes refocused on her wound.

“You’re certainly valuable General, but it’s more than that” Genya winked, “I can tell by the sound of his heart”.

Y/n felt her face warm as Nikolai’s shy gaze snapped up to meet hers.

“Geny-“ he began.

“Saints, y/n, your face is awfully flushed” Genya commented with a sly grin, “maybe you two have something in common, hmmm?”

Y/n bit her lip and held eye contact with Nikolai silently for a few minutes.

“Done” Genya said, ‘dusting’ her hands off.

Nikolai’s gaze reluctantly broke from y/N’s to question Genya, “are you sure?”

Before the healer could respond, Nikolai repeated his concern, “she’s alright? No more bleeding?”

Genya nodded in confirmation, her smirk never leaving her face.

While he knew it was likely due to the seemingly unspoken tension between him and y/n, he wanted to be sure it had nothing to do with the sincerity of her answer.

“Genya, be serious. Is y/n completely healed and safe now? Nothing more needs to be done?” He questioned.

“Yes your highness” Genya said with a dramatic curtsy.

“Thank you Genya” y/n stated as Nikolai sent the healer a glare.

“We did it” y/n smiled as Nikolai walked to her.

He nodded, “Yeah, could’ve done without you getting hurt though”.

“My apologies, moi tsar” y/n giggled, grabbing his hand and squeezing it.

He shook his head and laughed faintly, “I’m just glad you’re okay now”.

She smiled and looked around to find it was dark and no one was around.

Y/n laid her head on his shoulder silently.

Nikolai’s arm promptly wrapped carefully around her shoulder.

“So, what’s next for you, General y/l/n?” He asked formally.

She sighed softly, “the same old, same old. Go back to leading my regiment. You?”

“You don’t sound entirely enthusiastic about that” Nikolai pointed out.

She shook her head slightly against his shoulder, “I’m not. To be honest…”

Y/n looked around again to ensure no one could hear, “,I’m exhausted. Physically, emotionally, and mentally with the role”.

“So why keep doing it?” He questioned.

“I’ve got no other cards to play” y/n admitted to him.

“You are far too self-effacing” Nikolai sighed dramatically.

“And you are far too confident” she teased back.

He chuckled and nodded, “opposites attract”.

She flushed and sighed, “I don’t know what else I’d do. What else I’d be good at.”

“But you don’t want to return to what you’re doing now either?” Nikolai clarified.

“Not entirely. I mean this,” she said as she wove her hands around, “sure.”

“But, day in and day out of battles and sending kids into fight knowing they won’t make it?” She shook her head.

Nikolai held her closer, his lips placed to the top of her head as tears formed in her eyes.

“Then don’t” he advised.

Y/n squinted, “What?”

”Give me a chance." He requested.

Y/n lifted her head to look at him, “A chance for what?"

“A chance to prove you that I can make you happy." He explained.

“Nikolai…” she sighed quietly.

“Hear me out, I was honest when I said opposites attract. And that doesn’t have to just be about us romantically. It can be about our responsibilities and skills as well. I could use someone like you in my advisory team. But no one could handle it with the excellence and elegance that you yourself would” he told her confidently.

“Are you sure about this? Or are you just offering-“ y/n hesitated.

He shook his head, “I’m extremely sure. No strings attached. You don’t have to be courting me or anything, it’s a job offer for you to better inform and advise me on military matters, and call me out when I’m not doing it right or not being sincere enough”.

“Okay. Thank you,” she said, closing her eyes as to not cry.

Nikolai smiled to himself, “So you’ll take it?”

“Yes,” she stood, ready to kneel before him as was customary.

Nikolai shot her a look, “don’t you dare”.

“But protocol-“ y/n began to protest.

“I don’t care, you don’t have to follow protocols with me. Not to mention, you’re wounded. If you dare try to bow, I’ll recede my offer” Nikolai commanded delicately.

She huffed but smirked at him him as she sat back down, “fine”.

“Thank you. Besides, there’s something else I need to ask” he smiled.

“What’s that?” She wondered.

“Will you give me a chance? Not as a King. But just as Nikolai” he proposed.

Y/n stared at him, “as in…”

He nodded, “I assure you, if you give me the chance I’ll do whatever I can to make it worth it. And should anyone dare disrespect you, they will find themselves waiting before the King for relevant consequences as is customary”.

“You’ll threaten them to respect me?” Y/n interrogated suspiciously.

“If they’re idiotic enough to not see why they should in the first place, then yes. You’ll get the respect you deserve and have more than earned, one way or another” Nikolai acknowledged.

“I must say, with this new job, I've got no time for courting... but I think I can make an exception for you. Just for you." She smirked.

Nikolai grinned, “likewise”.

Y/n and Nikolai laughed softly and leaned into rest their heads against each others’.

Perhaps opposites do attract after all.

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#nikolai lanstov #prince nikolai #king nikolai #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov fluff #nikolai lanstov x y/n #nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov grishaverse #grishaverse #grisha #king of scars #kos #row #rule of wolves #privateer sturmhond #sturmhond #sab #shadow and bone #sturmhond x reader #original post #nikolai lantsov imagines

[bey0nd-1he-stars]

Where's your hope? - Nikolai Lantsov

Masterlist

Pairing: Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Wordcount: 1196

Warnings: panic attack, crying

Summary: It's too much for Nikolai right now and when he disappears from a meeting you go out to find him and help him through his moments.

Nikolai was stuck in a meeting. All he wanted right now was to just leave, get some fresh air, maybe a glass of water, and to just lay in your arms. The advisors around him talked on and on and he found himself zoning in and out, losing concentration on whatever they were talking about. It was all a bit too much, really. The war with Fjerda, balancing up the budget, buying crops and other supplies to his country to keep his people from starving, the pile of letters laying on his desk in his office, keeping track of the first army and helping out with the second army when needed. He barely got any sleep anymore and he hasn't been able to accompany you to supper in at least a week. He worked from sunrise to way past sunset, burying himself in the paperwork that he didn’t have time to finish between the meetings. 

“Moy Tsar, what is your say in this matter?” One of his advisors turned to him and Nikolai snapped back to reality, turning his gaze to him. He shook his head and pulled a hand through his hair. 

“I’m terribly sorry, what were you saying?” He asked and tried to sit up straighter in the chair. He pulled at the neckline of his dress shirt, trying to loosen it up to make it easier to breathe. He let out a huff of air and pulled another hand through his hair, messing it up terribly. 

“Maybe we should take a paus?” The man on his left said and Nikolai nodded in agreement. It had suddenly become very hot in the room and he felt as if the air was running out. He very suddenly stood up from his chair, pushing it backwards with a scraping sound and stormed out of the room. The door that he’d thrown open fell closed again with an echoing boom. His advisors looked at each other in silence, quietly asking each other what just had happened. No one knew and after waiting for almost 10 minutes with no sign of Nikolai, his closest advisor, Pyotr, stood up from his chair, “I’ll go fetch the queen.” 

The knocking on your door had you looking up from your papers. Your guard opened the door and you were met by Pyotr, Nikolai’s closest advisor, standing outside the door. He bowed in greeting and you gave him a nod.

“What’s the matter? Shouldn’t you be in a meeting by now, my lord?” you wondered, knowing Nikolai had a meeting right now and Pyotr was indeed required at that meeting. 

“I was wondering if you knew where to find the king? He abandoned the meeting 10 minutes ago and hasn't yet returned, moya Tsaritsa.” He explained and you saw the disappointment in his eyes when he realized Nikolai wasn’t with you either. You shook your head gently, indicating that you had do idea where your husband had fled off to. Your guard had gotten a worried crease between his eyebrows when he heard the news. 

“Go back to the meeting and tell the others that you’re finished for today. I’ll go look for my husband,” you instructed Pyotr and he gave you a nod and then you heard his steps disappear down the hall. Your chair scraped against the ground when you pushed it out and stood to go search for Nikolai. It wasn’t like him to disappear like that, in the middle of a meeting, no less. You grabbed your cloak when you walked past the hook beside the door in case Nikolai had gone outside. The early spring had brought out the sun but it was still chilly and the winds were cold and you didn’t have time to get sick. 

After asking a few guards if they’d seen Nikolai you found yourself walking through the doors to the grand gardens on the backside of the palace. On the other side of the small lake, a few grisha were training. The trees and the flowers had gotten their leaves back and a few of the flowers had already started blooming. It was beautiful to see the palace gardens come to life. You stopped for a moment, letting your gaze sweep over the place, looking for any signs of Nikolai. You settled your eyes upon a blond mop of curls in the far corner of the gardens. A small smile made its way to your lips. He’d sat down on the bench directly under your window in your study, so basically you could have just opened the window and looked down instead of taking the extended walk around the castle. You shook your head at him as you steered your steps towards him. 

He heard you before he saw you. Your elegant steps and the heals against the ground was a sound he’d learned to recognize. With tears in his eyes he looked up from his hands and was met by the sight of you walking towards him. 

“You came all the way here to find me?” His voice was hoarse and raspy and he hiccuped between the words. He was only wearing his dress pants and a simple white shirt. His jacket still hung over the back of his chairs in the room where he’d been before he left. The brisk spring air was chilly and the wind pulled at his blond strands of hair. You sighted softly and took off your cloak before you sat down on the bench beside him. You gently draped the cloak over his shoulders and wrapped your arms around him, gathering him in your embrace. He fell into you and let you hold him tight, pressing himself against your warmth. He knew that kings didn’t weep but he let the tears roll down his cheeks anyways, and he sobbed against your shoulder. 

“Shh, shh, you’ll be okay. It’ll all be okay,” you mumbled and pressed a soft kiss against his hair and made comforting strokes over his back. He shook in your embrace and his breathing was sharp and irregular. 

“Hey, look at me, Kolya,” you gently cupped his cheek with one hand seeked his hazel eyes. They were lined with tears and his lips were trembling. You pressed a gentle kiss against his lips and when you gently pulled away he continued to have his eyes closed, almost following you with his own lips to not lose the contact of your lips against his. 

“You’ll be alright. Whatever’s happening inside of you right now, it’ll be alright.” you assured him softly and gently wiped away the tears from his cheeks with your thumb. 

“You sure?” His voice was quiet and unsteady and he let out a shaky breath. 

“I’m certain. Where has your hope gone, Nikolai?” you smiled reassuringly, “you told me once that hope is what’s gonna come out of nowhere and fill your sails to take you home. What happened to that?” Nikolai laid down his head on your shoulder again and took your hand in his. He sniffled softly and pressed a tender kiss to your hand. 

“I don’t need it that much anymore, I’m with you. I’m already home.”

#nikolai lanstov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov x reader #prince nikolai #nikolai lantsov #the grisha series #grishaverse #season 2 shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone netflix #king of scars #rule of wolves #sturmhond

[moonstruck-poet]

Love Story

Pairing - Nikolai Lantsov x fem!reader, Nikolai Lantsov x wife!reader

Summary - The story of your marriage based on the song Love Story.

Warnings - angst

And as my other song based fics, this one is also quite long. So brace yourself and I hope it doesn't get boring at any point-

And please do send requests for any other Grishaverse characters.

We were both young when I first saw you, I close my eyes and the flashback starts I'm standing there. On a balcony in summer air.

You were growing agitated every passing second, the reason being that someone was supposed to reach the palace an hour ago, and had failed to do so.

Sitting on the comfortable seat in one of the balconies was not a tedious task, but you hated that you quite literally had nothing to do except wait.

A groan was heard as you made up your mind to go inside, not bothering to wait any longer and of course that's when the said person decided to enter the gates.

You rolled your eyes at his impeccable timing though a smile did break through that serious exterior as your eyes scanned your best friend coming closer.

Nikolai Lantsov was in itself the definition of beauty, you thought to yourself. He looked handsome in that military coat that was buttoned right up to his chin. His golden blond hair appearing windswept but still somehow upholding the royalty persona.

His eyes landed on you as soon as you were within sight and you fell victim to his boyish smile that radiated excitement and his hazel eyes that shone alive with adventure.

And instantly you were transported back to a certain memory that seemed too common now, but it was still the one that made your heart swell with adoration.

It was that of a young Nikolai, no older than ten years of age as he sprinted around the castle in search of his best friend. As the moment when he found her, his lips had twitched to mirror the smile he held now. A smile that you display to show your adoration towards the person.

At that time he simply wanted to show her the fireflies that were swarming a large tree in the garden, but it was nonetheless filled with the same energy and warmth.

"Missed me, moya tsaritsa?" His playful words brought you back to the present. He had insisted on calling you a queen even though you were still a princess for as long ad you could remember.

And so you replied with a charming grin, "Keep dreaming, moi tsar".

===============================

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns. See you make your way through the crowd and say hello. Little did I know.

When someone from the royal family comes back successful from a mission of any sorts, it's almost tradition to throw a small party. This time, Ravka's younger prince had returned from a dangerous expedition that had also earned him a bullet being wedged in his arm.

And naturally the king, as boastful as he was did indeed organize a lavish gathering of their family and alliances. Your family was of course the first one to receive an invitation.

The news of Nikolai's achievement had reached you through the man himself and to say you were proud would be an understatement. After fretting over his injury and scolding him for almost dying, you had laughed at his jokes and hugged him tight.

Standing in front of the large mirror you admired yourself, being quite startled by your own beauty. It seemed as if you had never looked this good before.

You chuckled at your own silly thoughts and placed the family heirloom, a beautiful sapphire necklace around your neck, taking one last look before leaving.

Nikolai on the other hand wanted to escape this hell hole desperately. He couldn't stand another minute of people widening their eyes and pointing at him, as though they had never heard of a prince getting shot before.

But he held on just for that one person, who was again fashionably late.

Speak of the devil and she shall appear, he thought after spotting your father walking through the grand doors.

His heart had suddenly took up its pace the minute he laid his eyes on you, making him strangely breathless. His gaze was focused as he watched you walking with every bit of elegance, though he knew that you tripped over literal air.

He softly smiled at a memory and felt his breath hitch as you made eye contact. His hazel irises meeting your sparkling ones and it felt like time had come to a halt.

However he didn't dwell too much on the unfamiliar feeling and unconsciously smoothed his hair and started walking closer to greet your parents.

"Ah there he is, the man of the evening," your father said brightly and shook his hand.

Nikolai smiled back pleasantly and engaged in small talks before finally giving you his undivided attention.

"Quite the spectacle you are," you grinned and took a step forward, subtly scanning him from head to toe.

"Of course I am, I'm the future king for Saint's sake!" He laughed and leaned in without even realizing what he was doing. He just felt that you were too far away and gave in to his mind's demands to be closer.

"You feeling alright now? The wound isn't troubling you, is it?"

"Oh not you too!" He groaned and ran his fingers through his styled hair, ruffling it now. "It's nothing much, I'm fine. I've already had fifty people asking me and you're the latest".

"I worry about you, idiot".

"You don't have to," he replied softly. "I'm always gonna be alright," he winked cheekily.

"You'll definitely survive all those battles but I'm sure your overblown ego is gonna get you killed someday".

"Oof," he shut his eyes tightly and brought his hand towards his heart. "You're hurting me".

"That's the entire point, love".

===============================

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles and my Daddy said stay away from Juliet. And I was crying on the staircase, begging you please don't go.

"Coming Father," you called out and placed the book on the bed before rushing down the stairs.

"Good you're here," he smiled at you and gestured for you to take a seat. "I've got a few marriage proposals from different princes, take a look at them".

"You what?" The question slipped past, your voice coated woth disbelief. "I told you I didn't want to get married so soon".

"Oh we're not getting you swept away the next day," he said impatiently. "Just have a look at these pictures and shortlist the ones that you like".

You breathed in deeply, your heart erratic as you twisted the small heart-shaped necklace, given to you by the same person who had fully occupied your mind at the present.

Nikolai.

Your feelings were emerging once again and you buried them deeply, pushing down so you could atleast look at the photos your father had brought. Maybe he would be one of the choices?

But alas, he wasn't.

Most of the faces were strange, never seen before and only heard of, while some were friendly. You tried to stop the small amoumt of disgust in your throat. Some of these gentlemen were like brothers, almost family.

You were involuntarily shaking your head after keeping the last one down and your father looked in your direction. "No?"

"No," you responded, swallowing harshly.

"Okay no worries, I'll get some more".

You smiled tightly and hastily went to your bedroom. You had to speak with Nikolai, it had been over two years since you held obvious affection for the handsome prince. You had to act on it. There was no other choice.

But how could you? Knowing that there was always a huge chance of being rejected. You being a princess was a plus point, but what guarantee did you have that his parents would accept you even through your good relation.

You could speak with your father, but what if he miraculously agreed and the Lantsovs rejected later on. It would be shameful.

Nikolai should know about this, about your likes towards him, you muttered to yourself and a sudden gust of bravery or stupidity swept ove you.

You decided to talk to your father first, wanting to convince him before facing the other side. And taking a deep breath, you followed your instinct.

The talk in itself was okay, your father was a man who listened to the other's side fully before coming to a conclusion and you appreciated that. But just after the conversation was over from your side, he dropped the missile that turned your world upside down.

It felt as though the skies had opened up in a terrible downpour and lightning was crashing all around.

"He wh- what?" Yoir voice trembled, unable to believe his answer.

"I'm only telling you the truth, my dear. He's going to leave the palace, go somewhere else for a long time. He claims it'll help him understand the country better".

"But- He didn't tell me... He didn't say anything at all".

But your father just gave you a look of sympathy, "He doesn't care about anyone else except for himself, that one".

"I'm going there- I need to see him," you grabbed your coat from the stand kept in the corner, already rushing out as your father called you.

"I'll be fine!" You ripped your arm from his grip. "Please," you whispered. "Let me go".

He sighed, looking at you before releasing your hand, "Go safely. But don't come back to tell me that I didn't tell you otherwise".

It had taken almost twenty minuted to reach the palace and you were glad to have chosen horseback rather than a carriage. As soon as you gave your stallion to the caretaker, your feet were sprinting across the garden to find your idiot of a friend.

"NIKOLAI!" You screamed, frantically turning your head side to side as you searched. "NIKOLAI LANTSOV!"

"Holy Saints calm down, woman. Did you inhale an entire barrel of kvas to yell like that?" The man in question mused.

You didn't speak a work and dragged him by the arm, not attempting to be gentle as you led him into the secluded courtyard.

"What's going on?" He asked, a frown spreading across his face.

"Don't tell me it's true- Please don't tell me it's the truth goddamnmit!"

"What're you saying? Will you just calm down for a moment yeah?"

"Are you leaving the city to wander off to some saints forsaken place or not?" You got straight to the point, stepping closer and narrowing your eyes to detect any lies.

"Oh that," his smile fell as he grimaced. "Yes I am going away for some time".

All of the anger residing inside of you disappeared at his admission, leaving behind a burnt fire and warm ashes, all grey and dull. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I," he began but huffed and looked around. "I knew you wouldn't like the decision. You would've told me it'd be better if I were to remain within the walls, so that I'll have a better chance at the throne. But how will I learn about my country then?"

"You can tour around! Go on expeditions and roam as much as you bloody want to!" You reasoned, voice beginning to shake as you swallowed the lump.

"It wouldn't be the same, lapushka," he murmured and took your hands but you moved them out of his grasp.

"Please don't go," you now whispered, eyes brimming with unshed tears signalling that you were on the verge of crying. Something that he picked on instantly.

"Hey," he said, slightly panicking inside as he cupped your cheeks. "It's only for a few months, love. I'm gonna be back soon".

"You don't understand, Nik," you stepped away from his touch and his hands fell down hopelessly.

His eyebrows furrowed, "Then help me to".

You exhaled, a lonely tear slipping your holds at last, "My father wants me to get married. And he's looking for possible suitors".

===============================

And I said, Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone, I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run. You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess, it's a love story baby just say yes.

"You're going to get married?" He asked, shocked to the core. His heart was screaming for him to cancel all his arrangements and talk to her father himself.

"Yes," you gave him a small, hollow answer.

"No that's- that can't be-"

"-Possible?" You cut him off and he looked at you blankly. "Why not? I'm a princess and have reached the age. I could've gotten married sooner if it wasn't for my opposition".

He clenched his jaw and his gaze hardened, he wad conflicted and rightfully so.

On one hand he wanted to leave the palace just so he could actually do some work for the benefits of Ravka and on the other he wanted nothing more than to throw every plan down the drain and ask for your hand in marriage.

It was a tough battle between his mind and his heart. And at the end, he chose his reasoning, leaving behind his emotions.

"I'm sorry," he said, almost flinching at the way your eyes seemed to shatter in front of him. He would never forget the way they lost their sparkle, the way your very soul deflated, all because of him.

"No," you shook you head. "Please just stay".

"I can't, I'm truly sorry. But I can't, I can't stay here with you".

Your tears had dried up, the emotions becoming cold as you appeared distant, "Then take me with you".

His eyes widened, "Darling listen to me, please. You honestly think that I'd ever allow you to throw away your life like that?"

"Then why give up yours?"

"I'm replaceable," he smiled sadly. "Whereas you are not. You're a princess, you should be here with your family and your people".

"Don't you think that applies to you as well?"

"Tell me honestly, have I ever gotten any sort of remarkable work done in the courts during all these years? I haven't," he answered before you even opened your mouth. "The only way I'll be able to help is by being outside, in the fields".

"Let me come with you," you said with a fierce glint in your eyes. You could tell that this battle was hanging by a thread and you were going to lose.

"I can't do that, you know as well as I do. Your family would never allow it".

"I'll fight them".

He gave a hollow chuckle, "Why? Why're you so intent on going against your family's expectations to just come with me?"

You didn't even have a second to think before the words came bursting out, they were held it for too long and were bound to come spilling some day. "Because you have bewitched me, body and soul!"

He stared, rooted to the spot as he waited for those specific words.

"And I l- I lo- I love you," you managed, gasping a little as though breathless. "Most ardently".

"You do?" He asked, not at all sounding like his usual confident self, instead he seemed conscious and insecure.

"Of course I do, Nik," you laughed softly despite yourself and pressed your palms to his chest, hearing his heart thumping.

A look of pain flashed across his face that went unnoticed by you. He wanted so badly to kiss you senseless then and there, to tell her that he loves her too, that he adores her.

"I love you too," he admitted and his eyes glazed over, knowing that he had most probably given you a huge sense of hope and he hated himself for it. "But I'm so sorry, love. I can't take you with me".

Your heart had swelled for a fraction of second before returning back to being miserable. He held feelings for you too, it felt great to hear him say that. Then why on earth were your insides slowly but surely shattering one by one.

You gave up, not wanting to seem overly desperate though you had possibly crossed that already. You just wanted a yes, a simple three letter word that suddenly looked as if it carried all if the complexities of life.

The one thing you were glad about was that he hadn't made a move to kiss you.

What else was there to say? Absolutely nothing, nothing at all.

"Have a safe journey, Nikolai," you gave him a tight-lipped smile, pursing your lips to prevent another round of fresh tears as you turned around, accpeting your wait.

But he took hold of your hand, slowly walking closer till his chest brushed your back and made you face him. His palm went towards your right cheek as you leaned into his warm touch, "I'll come back. I'll come back for you, I promise".

You didn't say anything yet somehow he understood the unspoken question.

But would it be enough?

I love you so much," he cupped both of your cheeks and you saw the agony on his face. He wanted to kiss you deeply but was holding back, and you were glad.

You couldn't bring yourself to answer, as if someone had shut your vocal chords. But one look at the slow tears flowing down his face made you sigh loudly as you threw yourself in his arms.

"I love you too".

===============================

So I sneak out to the garden to see you. We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew, so close your eyes. Escape this town for a little while. 'Cause you were Romeo I was a scarlet letter and my Daddy said stay away from Juliet. But you were everything to me, I was begging you please don't go.

You couldn't contain your excitement, as could be observed from the slight bounce in your steps as you neared the spot that Nikolai had mentioned in his letter.

Surprisingly enough, your gentleman was already present making you raise your eyebrows. "You must've been punctual for the first time in your life, am I right?"

He turned around swiftly, a huge smile stretching his lips as he hungrily took you in. His gaze swept over you, going from your beautiful eyes, trailing down and lingering in your lips and going downwards.

It had been four months, and he seemed a tad bit older. A faint stubble dusting his face as he stepped closer with a smirk.

"Missed me, moya tsaritsa?" He laughed, arms being raised to catch you as though it was second nature for him.

"Keep dreaming, moi tsar," you chuckled close to his ears and then buried your head in his neck.

A deep sigh left his lungs as you two swayed on the spot before pulling back, not realizing the amount of tension present until the very last second.

Your breath hitched as his fanned yours, both set of eyes moving towards each other's lips, staring at the spot. And simultaneously they flitted back to look at the other, pausing for a second before leaning closer.

Absolute perfection, was all that could describe your kiss. It started of soft, as you both tested the waters and then found a rhythm unique to yourselves.

He stole another kiss before pulling away, looking quite dazed, "Saints that was, everything I dreamt of".

It was your time to smirk teasingly now, "You dreamt about me, Nik?"

"You have no idea just how much, darling".

A blush was quick to settle on your cheeks and you looked away, biting your lip to prevent a chuckle.

"No don't stop yourself, I wish to hear every single laughter of yours. These past months seemed like hell without you. I almost felt as though I'm bound to go insane without your jokes and annoying humour".

You grinned cheekily which later softened as your thumb caressed his cheek, "I felt the same. I honestly have no idea how I managed to spend all these days without you".

He simply smiled and tugged you so that your head would rest on his shoulder and you laughed internally at the hopeless romantic.

"How's everything at home?" He asked, leaning his head against yours.

Your body stiffened and he felt it almost immediately, "It's... A little tense I can say".

"Why? What's wrong?" He asked, eyes searching yours frantically. "Is it about the marriage thing again?"

"Partly yes, but they're also a little angry at you. They don't like us being in contact with each other. Father says you're giving me false hopes and I'll have my heart broken in the end".

He suddenly seemed alarmed and turned his entire body towards you, making sure you understand the seriousness in his words. "Okay first of all, there's no end in us. You and me, we're destined to be together, alright? And secondly, no way in hell am I going to be stupid enough to let go of one of the best things to happen in my life. I adore you too much for that ".

"I know," you said with equal sincerity. "And that's one of the reasons why my silly little heart opened its closed chambers for you that easily".

"It goes both ways, my love".

And then and there, it felt like you were going through a cardiac arrest.

My love.

My love.

All these years were spent with you two throwing terms of endearment at each other to a point where it became a habit. But he had only referred to you as his because of one particular nickname, and that was completely casual, almost an inside joke.

But this, it seemed way more intimate. And you were totally loving it.

===============================

And I said, Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone, I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run. You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess, it's a love story baby just say yes. Romeo save me they're trying to tell me how to feel, this love is difficult, but it's real. Don't be afraid we'll make it out of this mess, it's a love story baby just say yes.

"Father, I think we've been through this enough times now".

"And I think that it's now time to go over once more," he said, getting steadily angry.

"What is there to speak? You already know everything that's going on," you explained, hands wringing out helplessly.

"I've held on for a long, long time now. It has been 2 years for Saint's sake! There's no news of that boy, rumour has it that he's a pirate- A pirate?! And he's made no move whatsoever to contact you and I'm supposed to entertain the thought of your marriage? I don't think settling down has even crossed his mind".

"I understand," you tried to coax the fire in his eyes. "But you must also believe the fact that he loves me".

"And what has he done to prove this love?" He questioned sharply.

"I-" You didn't have an answer. Nikolai had made his affections quite clear through his actions, his words and his touches. But how could you possibly explain that when nobody was aware of you sneaking out to meet him.

"You are going to finalise a suitor, I'll have a complete list ready in three days," he ended the discussion with a finality in his tone.

"Father-"

"I have nothing more to say. Enough is enough now".

"Just- Just give him some time, please".

"Time? He had two years! According to me that seems more than enough already!"

"Two months?" You tried once again.

"No".

"One month?"

He raised his eyebrow, surprised and also unconvinced at the same time. "You think that someone who hasn't made an appearance in two years... Would suddenly pop up in thirty days?"

"Give him a chance," you said firmly now, despite the uncertainty crawling through you.

"Fine. You have a month, and if he doesn't show his face then I'm sorry to tell you, you're going to married off immediately".

"I agree," you nodded slowly and he left the room without further talks.

You heaved a breath, hands going to hold your head in agony. You yourself had no idea whether he would actually listen to you and come. But it was worth a try.

He was worth a try.

And what's the worst thing that could happen anways? He won't show up and you'd be forced to marry someone, atleast that someone would be of your choice, you thought bitterly.

You decided to sent him a letter filled with every bit of sentiment just so he could understand the severity of the situation. And you knew he would as he cared about you.

Nik,

I hope whatever you're doing out there is going on fine and you're safe and breathing. I wouldn't put it past you to be laughing madly once second and being shot by the next.

Things are becoming steadily interesting here, and also quite concerning. This is probably the first time in my entire life that I've felt such an amount of panic seize control of my mind.

I wish you were here, love. Would've really appreciated the comfort. But well, if you actually were here, it would be a whole lot different too.

I don't know what else to say, so I'm getting straight to the point. My father has now reached his limits, or even crossed them. He refuses to listen to me and wants to get me engaged in two months. I can't even blame him anymore, Nikolai. It has been two years since you left, and you're losing the only popularity that was there.

He has given you a month's time though, at my insistence. And this is most definitely the last time that he'll listen to any of my requests. You have a month, Nik, a month to get here and ask for my hand. And I'm writing to you to make sure that you will actually come and not make me a fool, though I know you like to laugh at me every once in a while.

You're coming home, you are coming back to me. You have to, or you're going to lose me forever. Be quick, my love. Please. I'm waiting here for you and now it has started to hurt me. My heart's paining from your absence, it craves the love and affection it so deserves. And you are the only one to ever fulfil that.

Consider this my last and final letter to you, Nikolai Lantsov. I don't think I'll be writing to you again. Saints I have absolutely no idea whether you still love me or not. I know deep inside that you do, you would always will. But maybe you found someone there? Someone who's taken more of your heart than I ever could. I don't know.

And now I feel even more conflicted. I think love is always worth making sacrifices for. But I'm not sure whether ours is still the same as it was... Your last letter to me was a year ago, my love. A lot can happen in that given time.

Sending my best wishes to you and whoever you work with. Tell them that I understand how difficult it is to do any type of job with you. You're a stubborn asshole nearly half of the time. And Nik, I hope you're happy.

Love,

Me.

===============================

And I got tired of waiting, wondering if you were ever coming around. My faith in you was fading, when I met you on the outskirts of town. And I said, Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone, I keep waiting for you but you never come.

What you were feeling couldn't actually be described, even by yourself. What did you even feel? Anger? Pain? Betrayal? Heartbreak? You weren't sure.

But it was making you really short-tempered and miserable the past two weeks. The month was soon ending, with only five days to go and your emotions were at their peak, scattering all around the place as you could slowly sense your heart breaking down into tiny pieces.

You had already chosen your soon to be husband as well. He was a friend, not a very close one but a familiar face nonetheless. Better than being tied to to a stranger.

And your family was starting to make all the arrangements too, them being sure that no way was Nikolai going to come back. What will only five days to go, they were a hundred percent sure, and you, you felt your belief in him wavering.

You sighed, slowly coming to terms with your destiny. Maybe it was not him, but you who was the hopeless romantic and fool all this time. You couldn't help but feel your faith melting away with every passing second.

And you didn't like that one bit. Since all the years you had known him, he hadn't given you a single reason to suggest that he would ever break your trust. Always keeping his every promise. Until now.

You had imagined that you were going to find your prince charming and be swept off your feet while being so in love. The prince part was bound to happen, but you weren't sure about 'charming'.

It would be unfair on your husband, though you had chosen him, your heart had already belonged to someone else.

It was tough to love someone, and even more difficult being in love with someone who wasn't coming back. You had waited, going against your families expectations and constantly earning yourself disappointed looks from each one of them.

But he let you down. The one man you thought would never even think of hurting you, now had you shattered.

You rested your head on your knees and hugged them while staring far away blankly, your face an open book to your soul.

And then the universe decided to bring in another huge twist that will completely alter your life in the form of something- or rather someone coming towards you.

You looked up alarmed at the sudden sound of hooves and squinted to see in the soft sunlight. When the person was close enough to be recognizable, your mouth hung open in utter shock and disbelief.

Nikolai Lantsov had arrived, you thought with wide eyes. And he was here to wreak havoc.

===============================

Is this in my head I dunno what to think. He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said, marry me Juliet you'd never have to be alone. I love you and that's all I really know. I talked to your Dad go pick out a white dress it's a love story baby just say, yes.

You moved a step forward, putting one foot after the other like you were in a trance, not conscious of your actions and unable to comprehend the situation.

There he was, your man. Standing feet apart from you.

You pressed your lips tightly to prevent the emotions raining down and blinked to get rid of the tears. "You came," you whispered with glossy eyes.

"You called," he said simply, tilting his head to admire you with tenderness.

Your restraints were surely slipping away as you wanted nothing more than to pull him in the tighest hug ever. But before you could act on it, he stepped back, making you look at him confused.

But then your eyes widened comically and you gaped as he got down on a knee, giving you a wink before opening a black leather box before you and presenting the beautiful ring with a small diamond glittering at the centre.

He knew you didn't like things that were overly fancy so he settled on a silver one with an elegant band encrusted with the hardest element.

Because like the diamond, your love too was subjected to immense pressure and together, you emerged victorious.

"I gave you a lot of trouble, didn't I?" He began his fully improvised speech and looked at you with a particular glint as though you were the one who hung those stars that he so loved.

"That might be an understatement," you joked despite your throat being blocked due to emotions.

"It is," he said genuinely, his statement completely opposite to your earlier humorous one. "And I'm terribly sorry for that, darling. I never in my wildest thoughts intended on hurting you or causing you any amount of pain".

"I know," you smiled comfortingly.

"I never really understood just how dependent I was on you. I never realized your significance in my life until you were about to go away. I-" he swallowed and his face contorted making your insides clench.

"But I'm here now and I'm never going to leave you alone, not again. I'll take you with me if I have to and I promise to be with you, always, for the rest of my life. I hope you give me that privilege by being mine and allowing me to become yours".

I was already yours to begin with. Right from the moment I understood what love was.

But you didn't voice anything, too busy in controlling yourself.

"I reflected on myself the past couple of days and I came to a conclusion. Everything somehow is alaays better with you, and everything has been better since you. I'll never find words that are beautiful enough to describe just what you mean to me, but I'd like to spend my lifetime searching for them".

"I love it when you smile, but I love it even more when I'm the reason for it. Will you let me be that cause? Will you help me in being a better version of myself just so I will be worthy of you? Will you marry me, my love?"

"You had always been worthy," you replied and couldn't help it as a fresh round of tears did fall down your cheeks as that three letter word came tumbling through your lips. The one that you had asked him before but he had denied and now he was the one to question, "Yes, yes, of course yes".

There was a sudden, loud burst of cheers and applause and you turned to see your family standing there, everybody having a huge grin on their faces as they watched Nikolai slip the ring on your finger.

"I love you, my princess," he pulled you closer by the waist and touched his forehead to yours.

"I love you, my heart," you smiled back and sealed the deal with a passionate kiss.

===============================

'Cause we were both young, when I first saw, you.

The day had finally come. After numerous struggles, fights and battles it had now arrived. It was Nikolai Lantsov's coronation.

The palace was in a state of frenzy. All the staff moving here and there to ensure that all the arrangements were fulfilled. The decorations done in the castle took its grandeur to another level. All the gifts brought in by other kings and royals showed the wealth and love received by Ravka.

You too had finished the touch ups on your face done by Genya Safin and were currently moving towards your bedroom in search of your husband. You opened the door and leaned against the doorframe with your arms crossed, taking in the sight.

The soon-to-be king was standing in front of his full sized mirror, a frustrated look on his face as he adjusted his clothes and hair every now and then, seemingly unhappy.

"What's the matter?" You asked and walked to stand beside him.

"How do I look?" The pure innocence in his question made you cackle hysterically while he just stared unimpressed.

"Sorry sorry," you grinned and he turned to give you his full attention, just now taking you in as he let his eyes wander.

"Oh for the love of Saints," he whispered and snaked his arm around your waist, pulling your body flush against his. You looked majestic, he thought in awe. His mouth hung open slightly and a faint blush dusted his cheeks.

"You look great too," you replied and your hands went around his neck. "Quite handsome".

He shook his head, "The glow that you carry with you is just so splendid that even the moon is nothing but a shadow in your light".

It was your turn to turn scarlet and you buried your face in his neck, feeling him chuckle as he pressed a kiss to your hair.

"Thank you," he said. "I don't really say it that much but I'm grateful for all the times you solved my problems and took vare of my worries again and again".

"For you, a thousand times over".

You had underestimated just how long the ceremony would be. You had been waiting impatiently and finally thr crown was placed on Nikolai's head.

The crowd erupted into cheers as they all celebrated their new king and you joined in enthusiastically, your face shining with pride.

Next it was your turn and you closed your eyes, feeling him intertwining his fingers with yours when the crown of the queen adorned you. The burden was already felt as though the citizens had decided to drop their worries on your shoulders and you vowed to be worthy of their trust.

"Long live the king! Long live the queen!" The priest said loudly and the people repeated after him with joy.

You two stood next to each other hand in hand and bowed respectfully. Making sure they understand that your actions were nothing but genuine. Hoping that they'd see that they weren't cheering and applausing for wastrels and show offs, but rather for two of the most loyal, brave and just rulers you'd ever come across. They were someome who would not hesitate to lay down their lives it it meant their people would be safe.

As soon as the ceremony was over the celebrations began. And as expected, you two had been pulled apart from each other. The crowds swarming you so they could get a chance to talk to their new royals.

You engaged in all of the conversations fairly well. Chatting, greeting and laughing with the guests while always keeping your smile intact. But after a point it was getting too much. You needed to get away and so you listened to your mind that was screaming for you to sit down.

Your eyes drifted around to land on him as naturally as ever. He was still laughing with the other guests and you couldn't fathom exactly how he managed it.

Your feet hurt and you tried your best to soothe your heels while simultaneously feeling the urge to rip your dress because you were sweating profusely.

Exhaustion lined your face making you sigh and you rested your palm on your cheek while closing your eyes. Hoping to get some amount of peace.

But a sudden poke to your shoulder just seconds later jolted you awake and you narrowed your eyes at the playing grin visible on the culprit's face.

"I was trying to get some sleep".

Nikolai simply smiled and took hold of your hands, pulling you in a standing position and successfully emitting a groan from you. After a moment though you relaxed and allowed your body to be slumped against his. He chuckled softly in your ears and caught you, securely wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you close.

"Missed me, moya tsaritsa?"

"Keep dreaming, moi tsar".

===============================

#nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai x reader #nikolai lantsov #the grisha trilogy #grishaverse #Spotify

[shadowandboneladies]

“Remember me when you board that ship, moi tsar. Remember me when you take your last look at Ravka as it slips beneath the horizon.” She leaned in and whispered something to him. The King paled, and I saw real fear in his eyes. Genya drew back and said, “I hope the taste of me was worth it.”

ruin and rising | chapter 7

#sabedit #shadow and bone #shadowandboneedit #dailyshadowandbone #shadowandbonecentral #userbecca #userghafa #userng #tuserkay #useremerald #ours #by myra #sab s2 spoilers #daisy head #Genya Safin