"Dos oruguitas... enamoradas... pasan sus noches y madrugadas..."
Sam (ladybug miraculous holder Mariquita [Ladybug], to be specific) stepped out of the portal created by the holder of the rabbit miraculous. Her eyes were wide as she took in the ruined Paris.
Buildings were tipped over and somewhat shattered. A thick fog surrounded the edges of the city, or at least as far as Sam could see, and threatened to come forward and smother her. Glancing down towards the streets, Sam could see they were flooded with water which was steadily rising.
What the hell happened here?
When Sam first came to Paris for a job opportunity (a clever cover for whenever she saw her mother), she never expected to be gifted a pair of earrings for protecting the city from a magical terrorist. She never expected to have a partner, Gatita [Kitten] who acted like she was years younger than her (which, she probably was considering how much she talked about having to get home before her mother came back) who wielded the power of the black cat's destruction with ease.
What she never expected was to see her sister again - so close where she could touch her and not observe from afar.
She didn't want it to be under these conditions, either.
And if Christina hadn't mentioned Tara to her boss before dad... he left, she probably would've left Tara alone in Woodsboro.
"Llenas de hambre..."
Sam looked around in confusion. She knew she heard somebody singing when she first stepped out of the portal, but she figured she had imagined it.
Swallowing, Sam spun her yo-yo around and walked forward with caution. She could see the singing person sitting on the edge of what used to be the news and media tower. They were clad in all white leather, rocking back and forth without a thought.
It was sad to look at. Like a child zoning out to help deal with the pain.
Sam knew what that was like. She knew she deserved to feel that way, though, for what she did.
Leave.
Wait.
"Gatita?" Sam called out.
The singing stopped.
The person tilted their head to the side, the leather ears on their head flicking back before shooting up. They stand up and - oh.
Sam felt sick to her stomach.
"Mariquita!"
That was her partner. But... it wasn't her at the same time.
Gatita was staring at her with a wide grin that suited the Cheshire Cat more than her, and she was thin as a twig. It was as if she hadn't eaten in days.
Maybe months if what Tikki said about how the miraculous could help survive your body for a long while was true.
"You're back! I thought I lost you forever!" Gatita's voice wobbled with tears pent up over time. She took a step closer to Sam who, in turn, took a wary step back. "Oh... You're scared of me."
Sam shook her head. "I'm not scared of you, Gatita. But you... you are akumatized."
She stopped spinning her yo-yo and inched closer to her partner. She was staring at her feet, so Sam gently lifted her head by cupping her face. Gatita's breathing shuddered as she took in the warmth. It hurt Sam's heart more than she would admit.
"Save me..." Gatita whimpered.
Sam nodded. "I will! Where - Where's your akuma?"
Gatita closed her eyes and took Sam's hands in her own. She brought one of them to her chest - over her heart.
"It's right here. I... This kitty got into a bit of trouble and couldn't get out of it."
Sam nodded. "Ok. I got you." She hugged her partner and held back her tears. She had grown to love the troublemaking cat like another sister. "I'll help you."
"You're already helping me."
Before Sam could question the change in tone, she was grabbed by her wrists and thrown above Gatita. Her back hit the roof, and the air exited her lungs harshly.
"F-fuck..." Sam gasped.
"Cataclysm!" Gatita grinned down at Sam. "Once I get your miraculous, none of this'll even matter anymore!"
Sam rolled out of the way and spun her yo-yo in a hurry. Part of the roof turned to ash beneath Gatita's hand and crumbled away.
"Gatita!" Sam dodged another attack.
Gatita screamed. "That's not my fucking name anymore!"
Sam backed away. Her foot hit the ledge. She looked down at the water.
"It's Cheshire now," she growled out. "And she doesn't want to take your miraculous from your corpse."
"You aren't getting my miraculous ever!"
With that, Sam flung herself backwards.
Cheshire dove after her. "You can't run from destiny, Sam!"
... What?
Sam gaped at the cat as she fell. "What?"
Cheshire's grin grew wider. Sam felt nauseous.
"Sam Carpenter! Samantha..." Cheshire raised her hand. "Cataclysm!"
Sam hit the top of a bus and flipped backwards away from the cataclysm. A burst of negative energy shot out in a ring around them, and the water rippled below.
"How..." Sam began with wide eyes, "How do you know my name? We aren't -"
"Supposed to know who each other are?" Cheshire finished for her. She stood up and shook her hand off. "I found out who you were. And look what I did because of it! What we did because of it."
Sam looked at the sunken Paris and took notice of the moon shattered in halves.
They did this? Then where was the future Mariquita?
Cheshire cocked her head and smiled at the unasked question. "Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to."
Her face dropped into a scowl, and she raises her arm. A ball of white cataclysm was between her fingers, ready to snap and shoot at Sam.
"Now give me your miraculous!"
●○●○●○●○
Tara blinked as she watched Mariquita exit her room using the window.
"Mariquita?" Tara mumbled, a half smile on her face.
Today was tough for her. It was the anniversary of Sam officially leaving her when she was so young. She had her suspicions that Sam planned on leaving on her 18th birthday, but had to wait until she had more money to do so.
She told Mariquita about how this week would be tough for her, and it looked like she was trying to cheer her up.
Tara smiled.
Mariquita... She was like another sister to her. Deep down, Tara knew she could never replace Sam, but all Sam's been doing since they've met in Paris was piss her off. Mariquita, on the other hand, was Sam before Papi left.
Helpful, nice, loving.
Now? She was kind of annoying. Always stalking Tara in some way.
Tara wanted nothing to do with her. She left for years and decided to reconnect when Tara was grown up and resentful?
Shaking away her thoughts, Tara approached the note left on her bed. She picked it up and frowned.
"What's the hold-up, Bangs?" Plagg flew out from the inner pocket of her jacket. He snickered at her bewildered expression. "What? Cat got you tongue?"
"Sam?" Tara muttered, running her fingers over the signature. "Why would Mariquita give me a letter from Sam?"
Unless...
Tara gasped and nearly dropped the letter. Frantically, she tore the paper open and read it, feeling tears spill down her cheeks.
Plagg, fortunately, stayed quiet while she took the letter in.
She smiled. Then she frowned. "But... if Sam and Mariquita are one and the same, then I..."
Plagg began to panic, showing her a wheel of stinky camembert cheese. "Who cares about Mariquita? We should totally cat out on this delicious cheese!"
"I've got to talk to her! I have to apologize!"
Sam being Mariquita made a hell of a lot of sense!
Mariquita. She was always there for Gatita whenever she did something stupid. Always eager to try and shield her even though Gatita was there to shield Mariquita. Paris couldn't be saved unless Mariquita stopped trying to sacrifice herself and casted her Lucky Charm.
Sam... She was always near where Tara was. Always trying to talk to her. But Tara shoved her away, venom stinging her words, until Sam backed off.
You can't be hurt if you hurt them first.
How could Tara do this to Sam?
"Plagg, I need to go see Sam!" Tara dropped the letter with a firm nod. "I need to -"
"What?! Kid, you can't reveal your identity to her! You aren't even supposed to know who she is!"
Tara smirked. "Who said I had to tell her who I am? She'd probably make me give up being Gatita, and that can't happen."
"Wait! Let me at least finish my cheese!" Plagg cried.
"No time to lose! Plagg, claws out!"
○●○●○●○●
Sam hopped around the fallen Eiffel Tower with Cheshire hot on her trail. The cat was still flinging bursts of cataclysms at her.
"Cheshire, you have to stop!" Sam yelled.
Cheshire's ears flattened. "Stop? So we won't know who each other is?! Why would I do that when I can take your miraculous?!"
Sam flinched away as a cataclysm stings near her arm.
"Lucky Charm!" Sam tossed her yo-yo up and caught... a mechanical pencil?
Cheshire scoffed. "I wish I could rewrite what happened in the past, but there's only one way to do that now."
Sam ran away from the multiple cataclysms sent at her.
"You can't hide from me forever, Sam!"
Sam hid on top of the fallen tower. She spun her yo-yo as she waited for Cheshire to come up.
"Samantha..!" Cheshire sang with glee. "I know you're up here... Did you know that if a person has both the ladybug and cat miraculous, they can grant one wish? I have a perfect wish, Sam... Don't you want to be together forever? Two peas in a pod, thick as thieves! Dos oruguitas."
Had Sam not been in such a panic, she would've noticed that phrase. She would've noticed that only one person called them that.
She would've noticed that Tara was Gatita. Was Cheshire.
But she didn't.
Sam revealed herself and threw her yo-yo at Cheshire. It wrapped around the baton attached to her back and yanked it back into her hand. Cheshire growled in surprise.
"Your time's up, akuma!" Sam broke the baton and - "What?"
Nothing.
Cheshire called her cataclysm again. "Stop trying to leave me! You can't leave me!"
She slammed her palm on the tower, and spider webs crept towards Sam. She didn't have any time to swing her yo-yo before she was falling a hundred feet into the water below.
Cheshire breathed heavily. She shook her head. "No no no no! SAMANTHA!"
She pulled at her hair and laughed.
●○●○●○●○
Sam sat down beside Danny with a sigh. She met him in New York sometime after leaving California. They became... close... and now he's trying to help her reconnect with Tara.
Trying being the keyword there.
Once Sam heard Christina was moving and taking Tara with her to Paris, she used almost all of her money to buy a plane ticket. Danny, the stupidly handsome man, decided to tag along and pay rent for a shared apartment. From there, he helped establish their cover story for why they moved to Paris.
She appreciated the help, but it was really unnecessary.
Danny only gave her a look of disbelief, and Sam relented.
"Did you give it to her?" Danny asked.
Sam sighed. "Yeah."
"Then why are you so sad still?"
She shrugged.
She wanted to be in Tara's life again, but she didn't think Tara would want to let her in again. She was more of a big sister to Gatita than to Tara.
And she deserved it. She left. She left Tara all alone with that woman. It was all her fault.
"Sam." Danny nudged her.
Sam didn't bother looking up. He probably was going to say something so attractively stupid in an attempt to make out under the Eiffel Tower.
"Sam?"
Now that's new.
Sam snapped her attention up to see Tara. She came.
Tara looked nervous around Sam, shuffling on her feet, but she was determined.
"I uh... I got your letter," awkwardly, Tara said. Her eyebrows come together in distress. "Did you mean it? That you'll never leave me? That you'll always be there?"
Sam stood up slowly. She stepped forward and took her sister's hands in her own. Smiling, Sam nodded.
"I meant every word."
Tears wobble on Tara's eyelid. "¿Prometes? [Do you promise?]"
Sam brought her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head. "Nunca romperé este. [I'll never break this one.]"
Tara began to cry.
And Sam was true to her words. Much to their mother's disapproval, Sam and Tara became close again.
Tara kept her identity as Gatita a secret from Sam, and Sam did the same. Tara felt like it didn't really count since she knew Sam's hero identity.
She was guilty. Sam kept next to nothing from her while Tara remained guarded at all times. At least, with part of her life. It was like she wasn't opening up to Sam at all.
And Sam obviously felt that way, too.
She was leaving Paris. She was leaving Tara. She was leaving. Again.
Fucking again.
Tara wanted to lash out when she saw the tears, but Sam had already ran away. Fuck her, then! Tara didn't... she didn't... need her...
She would be lying.
It was suspicious how fast the akuma came. And it was headed straight for Sam.
At first, Tara hated to admit, she thought about letting the akuma get her sister. She was so angry at Sam for breaking her promise. But then how would Tara stomach hurting her akumatized sister?
She revealed herself while cataclysming the akuma.
She didn't expect that information to get back to the villain.
○●○●○●○●
Sam hit the water and shivered. It was freezing.
She looked around underwater as she put her yo-yo to her mouth to breathe. She spotted two figures on the ground, frozen in time.
She swam down towards them and gasped. One of them was the villain. The woman had her arms up and blocking something.
The other one...
Sam's eyes went wide. She reached out and touched the scared face of herself. She crumbled away in the water.
Nauseous, Sam swam to the surface and threw her yo-yo at the nearest building. On her hands and knees, Sam dry heaved and shook all over.
"Do you see now? Why I need you miraculous?"
Sam shook her head. "No, this can't be the only way..!"
"Dios mio..." Cheshire groaned, head tipped back. She stamped her foot on the ground. "You saw what I did. What I became. You can't save me. I was doomed from the start."
Cheshire held out her hand, eyes begging for Sam to cooperate. "Please, Sam. Please give me your miraculous, and we can fix everything together! You won't have to leave me!"
Sam took the opportunity to grab Cheshire's tail-belt and break it, but no butterfly.
Cheshire scowled. "You aren't even listening to me. But I should be used to that by now, right?! No one ever listens to what I want! I'm always left behind!"
Cheshire began to cry. "Why do you keep breaking your promise?! Why can't you stay with me?!"
Sam couldn't dodge the kick to her stomach and laid on the roof in pain, grasping at the spotted armor on her body.
Cheshire shook her head, muttering to herself. "No, you can't hurt her. You need her, she needs you."
Sam backed away, holding her stomach. She knew she was cowering on the ground while Cheshire gathered herself, and that wasn't a smart move on her part. However, she would rather face her partner when she had more clarity than when she talked to herself.
"If I can't have your miraculous, then no one can! Mega Cataclysm!" Cheshire's hands began to shake as she raised them to the sky, a large ball of growing white on her palms. "I'll destroy everything! Not a single fucking atom will be left of the universe when I'm done! ¡Y ese es una promesa que nunca solucionaré! [And that's a promise I'll never break!]"
Sam clenched her jaw. "Wait!"
Cheshire stared at her expectantly.
"I'll give you my miraculous! Just stop! Please!"
The Cataclysm flickered out of existence. Cheshire shook her sore wrists.
"Sorry it had to be like this, Sam." She didn't sound particularly sorry. In fact, she was gleeful.
Sam stood and bit her lip. Cheshire tapped her foot, impatient.
It reminded Sam of Tara, in a way.
"I'm sorry you ended up like this, Gatita," she said.
Cheshire rolled her eyes. "It's Cheshire now."
Sam closed her eyes as Cheshire walked over and rested her head on Sam's chest. Her tense body relaxed against the older woman.
"But I'll forgive you." Her watery voice made Sam slow in her deceit. "I always will, Sam."
Sam snatched the bell from Cheshire's chest and backed away. Her heart burned at the betrayal in those blue eyes.
"Your time's up, akuma!" Sam broke the bell, and the akuma flew out. She quickly caught it and purified it.
Cheshire changed back into her Gatita.
Gatita looked around in confusion, taking in Paris in silence, and her eyes caught Sam.
"Sam?" Gatita questioned, confused. "Are you ok? What happened?"
Sam fought off the urge to hug Gatita tight and never let her go.
Instead...
"I'm sorry," Sam stated in an attempt to remain formal. "We aren't supposed to know each other's identity."
"You aren't my..." Gatita flinched, hurt at the rejection, but she nodded. "I... understand. It's better this way."
Just then, the portal opened and Cottontail poked her head through. Her ombre hair was frizzy as if she was the one running around fighting an akumatized Gatita.
"Uh, hello? We have to get going!" Cottontail said, hopping around. "What are you waiting for?"
Sam looked down at the pencil in her hand. It clicked in her head.
"I know what to do! Gatita, I know how to fix everything!"
Gatita was surprised at the tight hug she was pulled into, but she welcomed it nonetheless. She inhaled Sam's scent and nodded.
"You always do," she chuckled. "I trust you, Sam."
Sam pulled back to run to the portal.
●○●○●○●○
Tara didn't know what to do!
How did things turn out like this? Her sister was Mariquita and her mother -
Christina fucking Carpenter was Monarch. She was the villain terrorizing Paris.
All because she wanted to put her fucked up family back together. A family she tore apart with her lies.
But...
Everyone always left because of Tara, right? That's always what Christina told her, and it's been true so far.
No! Fuck!
It was all her fault!
How could Tara do this?!
"Tara! Mi vida [my life], don't listen to her! She's trying to get in your head!"
Sam.
Tara shook her head. She couldn't do it! She wasn't as strong as Sam, she couldn't fight off the akuma already infecting her mind.
"Sammy..." Tara sobbed. "I-I can't..!"
Sam shook her head. "No! You have to fight her! I believe in you!"
Monarch - No. Christina didn't bother saying anything. She simply grinned. She knew she had Tara right where she wanted her.
When Tara blinked, her black leather turned white and her eyes bled from green to blue.
She didn't know what to do anymore. She couldn't listen to them! She couldn't... take it!
"Sammy..."
Sam closed her eyes. "It's ok. Te amo, Tara. [I love you, Tara]"
Tara screamed, and the world exploded in a bright light.
○●○●○●○●
Tara blinked as she watched Mariquita exit her room using the window.
"Mariquita?" Tara mumbled, a half smile on her face.
Today was tough for her. It was the anniversary of Sam officially leaving her when she was so young. She had her suspicions that Sam planned on leaving on her 18th birthday, but had to wait until she had more money to do so.
She told Mariquita about how this week would be tough for her, and it looked like she was trying to cheer her up.
Tara smiled.
She walked over and picked up the note. She opened it and read the contents.
'Tara,
Life may seem difficult right now, but I know you'll get through it just fine. I've had my eyes on everyone in this city, and I've seen the amazing things you've done for it. You are special, and you are worth it.
If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always available. I'll always listen.
I know we've only worked together a couple of times because of you being targeted by an akuma, but I care about you. You'll always be important to me, even if we never become close outside of my hero identity.
You matter to people.
-Mariquita'
"Bangs? Kid?" Plagg held up a piece of camembert and looked away, embarrassed. "Don't cry. It'll ruin my cheese mood."
Tara chuckled tearfully. "Sorry, just... Mariquita cares about me."
And, maybe, that's good enough for Tara for now.
~*~
"Dos oruguitas... enamoradas..."
Mariquita sat down next to Gatita as she sang softly into the Paris night.
"Where'd you hear that song from?" Mariquita asked.
Gatita turned her bright gaze onto Mariquita, and the woman smiled. It really felt like she was talking to Tara again.
"It's from a movie that came out a couple years ago, but... when I was younger, a friend and I used to call ourselves oruguitas. It means -"
"Caterpillars."
Gatita blinked in surprise before laughing. "Yeah, I should've figured you knew 'cause of your name and all."
Mariquita smiled. Gatita snuggled close and rested her head on her shoulder.
Mariquita and Gatita watch the full moon behind the lit up Eiffel Tower in silence.
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Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir (or at least, the first half of season five...)
Basically, fandom makes it hard to be a fan of this show.
Disney+ put the first half of season five up a few weeks ago, and I'll be honest, I've been putting off actually watching it because I've been playing video games in my downtime (Dredge! Also Dragon Age again, because I love the Warden and Hawke) and fandom makes me forget how much I do like Miraculous.
Because Miraculous is cute, and silly, and has hints of depth, and is what it is meant to be: a romantic comedy aimed at eight year old girls.
I'm sorry fandom, but that's what it is. And by accepting that, we become zen.
So for the purposes of my Disney+, the first half of seasons 5 is as planned, up to Exaltation/Elation.
So we got up to Marinette being in love with Cat Noir, Cat Noir having a celebrity heel realisation, and now Marinette can go back to the Safe Option.
The fact Cat Noir is Adrien and therefore has always been the Safe Option is only for us and kwamis to know. Shhh!
When you don't overthink it, and look at the show for what it is, it was actually a really well constructed arc. And I think it continues to be so if you're into spoilers like I am, but I haven't actually SEEN anything past this episode, so I won't go into that. But for this point.
As much as it made us tear our hair out because that episode was as close to 'real and happy Adrien' as I think we've ever seen, I think Adrien's little heel realisation was important. Because no matter which mask he's wearing, Adrien is a celebrity, and most people aren't interested in knowing the real him. So any relationship he gets into without dealing with that problem will mean SOMEONE is getting taken advantage of.
The show didn't go into it, and couldn't get into it, because these two characters are made for each other and are both safe for each other, but I think it was just explicit enough about the situation to plant the idea in a little girl's brain. And that's what matters.
Because Marinette does think she knows Cat Noir. She's spent time with him, she's seen different sides of him, she's smart and aware enough to know there's a lot about him she doesn't know, and while WE THE AUDIENCE know she knows him as Adrien, she doesn't. What she knows about Cat Noir is a super parasocial analogy, and in this era of online relationships and influencer-based reality, WOW is it important for little girls to hear that fan relationships aren't a good basis for romance.
Because the idea is there now. So future shows, aimed at say a 14 year old, which can get a little darker, can show what happens when people don't do the responsible thing. And in the back of their mind, a connection can be made. And maybe, just maybe, one day, that little girl might be able to make a smarter choice in her own life.
But that, unfortunately, is what I think fandom has trouble with.
Because this is a show for young girls. It's not actually trying to be anything else. It's just also very good at hinting at other things that we latch onto because we're older fans who can see the hints for what they are.
Marinette is a power fantasy. She's highly competent, smart, creative, funny, beautiful, everyone either loves her or is jealous of her, she's good at literally everything she tries, and the only flaws the show openly discusses are either things they say she'll grow out of (clumsiness, poor time management), or the result of other people's actions (her anxiety, her controlling nature, et cetera). Even when she screws up, and the show acknowledges it's her fault, it's never really her fault. And ultimately, she alone overcomes her problems because she's always been strong enough to overcome them, she just needs to believe in herself.
I would argue that she does actually have flaws, and that the show is very good at showing us them. I fully believe she screwed up with Chloe. Chloe's current arc is entirely due to Marinette's treatment of her in seasons two and three, but we'll never get into that for the same reason they'll never go deep into why Adrien's image being used on the Alliance rings is so frikking creepy (seriously, Illusion and Jubilation both make my skin crawl every time I watch them, my god). It's complex and insidious and just too complicated for an eight year old to really understand when they play with dolls and have a binary distinction between good and evil. BUT ANYWAY.
Marinette's a power fantasy because little girls need someone they can both relate to and look up to. They relate to her, because they've been bullied, so they're insecure and overthink things, and they're clumsy, and they make mistakes, but Marinette always comes out on top, so eventually so will they. Even if all their friends do what young girls will do and 'betray them' (little girls are awful to each other, honestly), they will prove strong enough to get through it all.
Both Adrien and Cat Noir serve this fantasy too. He's smart, he's kind, he's safe, he's hopelessly romantic, he loves SO MUCH and SO HARD, he's protective (sometimes aggressively so in the same way that little girls think they want a guy that will beat up other guys for them)(and some never grow out of this), but he actually needs saving.
The show then shows us why all of that is... actually complex and uncomfortable, but again, it's gonna skate over it because Adrien's... when you actually think about Adrien too hard it's easy to go really, really dark places. Him being controlled by the Graham van de Lily rings is the easiest and safest way of navigating the very dark and twisted construction of Adrien's situation. Because otherwise... yikes.
Unfortunately, I think season five is the culmination of this tell and show philosophy. Because the narrative is coming to a head. Marinette's made her big mistake as a hero, enabling the final showdown. The villain has crossed his own moral boundaries, enforcing the final showdown. All the narrative links need to tie together.
The power fantasy must prevail. The hero must overcome the tragic villain, the damsel must be saved, and Marinette will end up in a more hopeful life than she started in.
These are important stories for little girls to have.
But as older fans, we latch on to the depths and want to drag them up into the light. We want to see emotionally damaged young women grapple with the realisation that their actions, done in self-preservation and seemingly entirely justified, have negative consequences and can sometimes cause more harm. We want to explore the dark and twisted world of a kid raised to serve other people's desires, and we're fascinated by the fact that this is a male character in that position. We want to explore the terrifying catfish storyline that an older Felix could and absolutely would have played out with Ladybug and then again with Marinette. We want to see Adrien's anger and depression manifest and be dealt with.
Because these are the stories we as older fans are dealing with, and identify with, and we want OUR power fantasy. We want to be told that we can find a happy ending too.
And we can, and stories should tell us these things. But they don't, because stories for grown ups aren't supposed to have happy endings. Such is the actual problem with adult entertainment.
I wish we didn't take that out on Miraculous. Because Miraculous is a fun show. It's just that it is what it is.
I think I'm looking forward to the next half, though. Might just have to make a conscious decision to stay out of the fandom though...
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