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#misunderstandings get cleared finally
thebreakfastgenie · 1 year
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Oh shit I forgot to send an ask for the wip game so if you're still doing it elaborate on "seeing ghosts" please?
Hell yes! Ironically, this one doesn't have any actual ghosts, or even any actual deaths... It's called seeing ghosts as a placeholder because in the opening, Trapper feels like he's seeing ghosts from his past. I'm usually not totally wild about the "Trapper thought Hawkeye was dead" trope, but this is my spin on it.
Trapper went home and started working as a general surgeon at Boston Mercy Hospital. Shortly after, he learns that Hawkeye is dead; this will most likely use the device of Trapper trying to write and having his letter sent back during The Late Captain Pierce, though that involves some creative liberties as mail would have been forwarded to the next of kin. If I can think of something succinct, I may use a different device; maybe Trapper had a chance encounter with someone who just got back from Korea who told him about the death certificate but didn't know it was false. Maybe he tried to use an official army channel for some reason and was informed Hawkeye was deceased. I don't know. Why he thought Hawkeye was dead isn't important, it just has to be believable.
Trapper is good enough to be chief of general surgery, but he doesn't have any interest in pursuing it. He's sort of keeping his head down, doing good work, and focusing on his girls. He's still married to Louise. He's a little depressed and because of the circumstances he hasn't really dealt with his grief over Hawkeye's supposed death. He's friendly with his coworkers and good friends with one of them. He very rarely talks about Korea, but mostly because none of them were there and they don't understand. Two years later, he's forced to attend a reception for the newly hired chief of thoracic surgery. He has no interest in the pomp and circumstance of it, and he's on edge because he's thinking about how it should be Hawkeye starting a job like this. And then his friend tells him the new chief of thoracic surgery served in Korea. This snippet is a rough draft, but it gives you the general idea: “He’s a Beacon Hill Winchester,” Pete replied, and this time there was no question that he intended it as an insult. “Blue blood. Sounds like a total drag to me. You might get along with him better,” he added thoughtfully.  Trapper frowned. Pete’s description didn’t sound like someone he would get along with. He sounded like someone whose shoes he would fill with paint while he was in the OR, if the thought of it didn’t make him miss Hawkeye terribly.  “Why?” “He served in Korea.” Pete said. He lowered his voice. “Actually, I heard he only got this job because one of his army buddies called in a favor with Bob Harwell.”  “Figures,” Trapper muttered. “Who’d you hear it from?” “Tony Maxwell. He said the board was all set to go in a different direction, then Bob gets a call from a Major Houlian.”  Trapper nearly spat out his drink.  “Hot Lips Houlihan?” he blurted out before he could stop himself.  “When I knew her, she went by the name Margaret,” said a new voice.  Trapper and Pete both turned, finding themselves face-to-face with the guest of honor. It was clear from his face that he’d heard everything, but he seemed unbothered. He extended a hand.  “Gentlemen. Charles Emerson Winchester III.”  Trapper couldn’t respond, still trying to process the shock of this man knowing Margaret Houlihan.  Pete shot him a lock.  “Indeed,” Charles said, smirking.  Pete shook the offered hand.  “Pete Dillinger. I’m the head of general surgery.”  He dropped Winchester’s hand, and shot Trapper another look. Trapper knew a warning when he saw one. He took the hand Pete had dropped.  “John McIntyre,” he tried to keep his voice even, but his eagerness betrayed him. “How do you know Major Houlihan?”  Trapper knew this didn’t have to mean anything—Margaret could have been transferred after he left—but that didn’t stop his heart from pounding in his chest.  “We served together in a putrid corner of hell,” Winchester said dryly.  “The 4077th!” Trapper exclaimed before he could stop himself.  “Yes,” Winchester said, surprised.  “I was there for a year!” Trapper explained excitedly. “Right at the beginning. I guess we missed each other.” 
Charles doesn't connect John McIntyre with Trapper until much later, because even though Hawkeye did talk about Trapper occasionally, Charles didn't really care. What follows is a series of misunderstandings and Trapper and Charles having two very different conversations. Trapper assumes since they had the same specialty, Charles replaced Hawkeye. Trapper says his closest friend at the 4077th died and Charles, having not been there for The Late Captain Pierce but knowing the previous CO was killed, assumes he's talking about Henry. Charles mentions his annoying bunk mates and Trapper assumes he means whoever replaced him (BJ) and Frank. This continues until Charles finally says the name Pierce:
"Benjamin Franklin Pierce?" "His friends called him Hawkeye. I did not."
At which point Trapper is like I have to go to Maine right now immediately. He gets reasoned down to going home, telling his wife what's going on, and packing a bag first. It probably ends with Hawkeye opening the door and seeing Trapper.
The main conversation is just really, really hard to write. All the dialogue has to have a passable double meaning.
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astrxealis · 1 year
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sorry for rambling so much about milgram btw my thoughts are often a mess and i think too much about it but i am good now i think <3
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა milgram ໒꒱ *·˚#i finally properly get fuuta's character i think teehee. after a lot of thinking and thinking and thinking#it hurts my head a bit ngl (figuratively) bcs ejghbghjag i try to look at it at all sides and whoops i end up getting confused w#what is the truth and what are my actual beliefs/feelings/thoughts a bit! </3 but my head is clearer now (hooray!)#anyway yeah fuuta innocent. guilty -> innocent -> innocent imo!! can't say totally for sure tho w the 3rd but i think he shld be forgiven#i feel a bit ehgbah for my thoughts being so messy before (also scared someone will misunderstand me) but i think yeah i was looking#at it already in the 2nd trial perspective. how to explain. but yeah blah blah blah yeah!#i think he's a good guy at heart fr but he. yeah. and i think there's smth to do with the 'pressure' and all with that#he needs to hold himself accountable for his actions even if it may be true that yk. he isn't the only one and it's rather sad he's the#only one who got all the blame so i get why he's acting that way even though ofc it isn't okay in the end. dude needs to admit and all#and he's getting uhh better! i want to talk more oops but it's almost 2 pm holy shit. i'll probably put my coherent thoughts in my notes#instead. but yeah. tbh i'm not sure if i can really say he always felt somewhat guilty/regret ever since the start#bcs it's he may just first feared the consequences but then again he never expected it to escalate to death (tho even if the#outcome turned out to not be that bad. cyberbullying is never okay!!! bullying is never okay!!!!!) but he's the character#who puts up a front of sorts and as someone who often likes characters like that. it's possible i'm misinterpretating him but#personally that's how i see it ^___^ but dude yeah guilty first trial fr so he can be more yk to really loosen up and admit it n all#or at least. take a step closer to doing so. yeah!!! okay i think i've properly cleared my head now#i just hope no one like. misunderstands me from my many rambles WABHBJHBG#oh i actually really relate and understand fuuta actually. yeah. NOTHING AS BAD AS HIM i mean that genuinely but yeah#he's starting to accept that his actions bring heavy consequences and he's showing a lot of guilt and regret. still a tough front tho#aghhhh i really hope he gets voted innocent this time around for real. he's a good guy at heart and i do think he always knew#he was guilty. and etc etc etc i stop rambling now zzz love fuuta fr tho his character means a lot to me actually#actually idk there's still a lot to his character i feel. it's either from his perception still or yk. does he actually feel guilt?#but yeah imo he does. and i'd like to believe that too also bcs i get his character but i ofc can't still tell for sure!#blame shifting may still be a problem. he feels regretful for sure i believe but for what reason is a question still#tbh judging fuuta here is (for me) like judging me from a bit into the past so sorry if i'm really fired up about this.#i get he's just a fictional character but i really want to do this 'right' (but what is right tbh?)#in any case even with all the complications i think he's improving. sort of. and guilty is concerning for him if he YEAH. so innocent.#oops too much tags but i get it now <3 !! also btw i've never bullied/cyberbullied anyone just to be clear :] just to be clear
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homunculus-argument · 2 years
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When talking to toddlers, you have to be extremely, explicitly clear about what you say, cover every possibility you can think of in which they might misunderstand it, and with trial and error and experience, you'll learn to also cover the possibilities that wouldn't have crossed your mind. If you tell a toddler, "whatever you do, do not touch that electric wire. Not even with your pinky finger, because if you do, you will die" and once you're finally sure they understood that, you'll turn your eyes away for two seconds
and they're right at the wire, trying to see what happens if they'll touch it with their pinky toe instead.
You don't usually have to do this with adults. An adult who is allergic to pineapples can hear someone say, "eating pineapple is good for you", evaluate this piece of information, conclude that this is probably true for people who aren't allergic to pineapple, shrug it off and carry on with their day.
Unless you're on tumblr. Tumblr posts must be worded like toddler talk, cover every possibility in which someone might misunderstand it, remember to mention people who do not have this problem you are talking about, cannot employ this solution, or who otherwise have nothing to do with this conversation.
You can't just say "eating pineapple is good for you", you'll have to make sure to specify "eating pineapple is good, unless you are allergic to pineapple, in which case do not eat pineapple". And then get promptly informed that you you forgot to mention people who suffer from some extremely rare cliantro-soap-gene that makes pineapple taste like ass, and consequently offended someone who still ships Harry Potter Characters.
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krkiiz · 4 months
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take a chance with me . luke castellan x reader
you decide to confront luke about your current situationship with him.
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luke castellan x f!reader , reader is the daughter of Athena , crack , misunderstandings , “what are we” , “i thought we’re already dating” , fluff with slight angst , overthinking , kisses , them being sappy , nicknames
note : can’t stop falling in love with this evil betrayer smh. inspired by niki’s song “take a chance with me” ! (IM SORRY IF THIS IS CRINGE this is my first time writing kiss scenes help 😭😭😭😭)
let me know your thoughts ! likes, reblogs, and comments appreciated <3
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“It’s getting dark. Let me walk you back to your cabin, yeah?” The dark haired boy smiled at you.
Gods how you loved that smile of his.
It’s a tradition of yours. Him walking you back to your cabin after your outings. The two of you walk hand in hand as your near the Athena cabin.
You and Luke had been acquainted for quite some time. You both first met when you arrived in camp for the first time.
You were fifteen back then. Time passed by as fast Zeus’ lightning strikes as summers blurred after summers. In a blink of an eye, you guys were both eighteen now. Adults, no longer those carefree teenagers that relied on your counselors.
During those three years of friendship, you and Luke only got closer. It was hard to admit, and after an excruciating time of denial (and constant pestering from your half siblings including Annabeth), you finally surrendered and admitted the growing feelings you harbored for your close friend.
You’re too afraid to confess your feelings as you treasured your friendship with him deeply. You would gush about how sweet he is to Annabeth, rolling yourself on your bed as blood rushed to your cheeks at the thought of him.
Little did you know he was doing the exact same thing. Confiding to Annabeth about your recent encounters, eyes lit up rivaling the shine of Apollo himself as he thinks of you.
Poor girl. Annabeth was sick of it.
But this summer, you felt a shift in your dynamic with the curly haired boy. He would eat lunch with you more often, asking you to go on more hangouts, challenged you on more duels, battles. It felt different, closer.
You were not complaining, matter of fact you were quite glad. Maybe your feelings wasn’t just one sided after all.
But as time move forwards, the closer you two get, more couple-ey interaction commends. He would tuck your hand behind your ear as you both converse, intwining your hands when your in the same path, calling you nicknames.
The more your relationship with him progressed, the more it blurred the line between friends and more. At this point, you knew he had feelings for you as well, and he too was well aware of yours.
A bubble of thought soon started clouding your mind. What were you both now? Friends? Close friends? Lovers? You don’t remember Luke asking you to be his girlfriend.
What was the nature this relationship?
You feel his grip on yours loosening as you stopped near the grey building of Cabin 6. “This is it for you, princess.”
Words rolled of his tongue like honey and you felt like a honeybee, drawn to its sweetness.
Friends don’t call each other nicknames.
Luke placed a gentle hand on your cheek, drawing closer has he placed his lips on your temple, as if he was kissing your thoughts away. “What’s got you thinking so hard since we started walking, hm?”
Your cheeks lit up like campfire at his action, he smiled noticing your flushed state.
Cute
You look up to the curly haired boy, his fingers still pressed on your cheek. What are we, Luke?
What if Luke suddenly doesn’t want you anymore because of that question?
Were you too selfish by wanting more?
Was this not enough for you?
No it wasn’t. You want to draw a clear like between friends and more, and Luke and you were shoveling a deep hole in the middle of said line.
What if he fears commitment and disappears?
“Oh no, it’s nothing Luke.” You shook your head away from his grasp, pushing all your thoughts away. “It’s late, I should probably get in.”
But before you can turn away from him, Luke was quick to grab your hand, not letting you go any further. “No, Yn. Something is clearly bothering you. And I don’t want you to go to bed with an unpleasant feeling.”
He squeezed your held hands. “Please, Yn. Is it something I’ve done?”
You were quick to deny him. “It’s not, Luke. I don’t even know it’s just. I don’t know, confusing? I think complicated is the right word.”
The dark haired boy brought your intertwined hands to his lips, kissing your forearm softly. “It’s okay take your time, darling. I’m listening.”
You sighed seeing him caress your hand gently as he brushed his lips on the skin. “It’s about us, Luke.”
Dark hues make contact with your own. “What about us?”
“What are we Luke? I don’t even know anymore.” You retracted your hand from his grasp, frustration getting a hold on you. “Friends don’t hold hands while they walk, friends don’t kiss each other’s foreheads, or hands, or even call each other nicknames.”
You look up to see the confusion written clearly on his face. “What are we, Luke Castellan?” You asked once more.
There was a moment of silent and you dreaded it. Each passing second you can hear the rustling wind, chirps of birds, and the sound of your heart falling into your stomach.
Before he finally broke it. A wholehearted chuckle graced his lips, creasing his eyes.
You scrunched your eyebrows at his reaction. Clearly displeased. Were you some joke to him?
“Luke, this is serious, why are you laughing right now?”
He quickly straightened his composure after hearing your tone. “Ehem, wait sorry. You’re serious? Is this what you’ve been worrying about?”
“Well yeah. What’s so funny about it? Am I just some joke to you?”
“No no! Yn, wait.” He placed both of his hand above your shoulders. Eyes peered at yours before genuinely asking. “Haven’t we been dating for like two months now?”
What? Confusion warps your face.
“Yn, remember? Two months ago when I took you on a picnic by the lake? I asked if you wanted to be together and you agreed to it, remember?” He tried to recall your memory.
Then it snapped.
“Oh, that was a confession? I thought you meant it in a friendly way.” Luke mentally face palmed himself and you sheepishly giggled.
“Okay maybe I was too vague with my words so let’s redo it right now yeah?” You tilted your head at him.
The dark haired boy took both of your hands from your sides, lacing them into his. “Yn L/n, daughter of Athena, one of the best warriors I’ve ever seen, wisest and the most just ever, will you take the pleasure of being my girlfriend?”
You unwind your laced fingers, your hands moving, circling themselves around the nape of his neck as his hands are now placed on the sides your waist, drawing you closer. “Hm will I?” You teased him lightly.
“Please?”
“I guess you got yourself a girlfriend, Castellan.”
You laughed against his chest. And you can feel his ribcage expanding was he laughed along with you.
You tilt your head above, standing on the tips of your toes, as you pulled him even closer than before. Your noses touch at the proximity and you could feel his breath on yours. “Is this why you’ve never kissed me before?” you hear him whisper.
“Well I am doing it right now.” You pull him in, his lips crashing with your own. His grip on your waist tightened as your hands made its way to the softness of his curls. Eyes tightly shut as you both bask in the bliss of ecstasy before pulling apart.
He leaned his forehead against yours. Giving your lip a small peck as he craves for more of you. “I don’t know if this is not obvious yet but I like you, so so much, my Yn.”
You softly giggled. “I like you just as much, my prince.”
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©️ sirena | krkiiz 2023
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livinginshambles · 9 months
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You're ridiculous, you know | James Potter
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Pairing: James Potter x fem!Reader
Word Count: 4.0k
Summary: Part one Masterlist
James sees you in a new light and wants to try to change the way you see him too, moment by moment. He is trying to win you over but understands that you're having a hard time believing that he's genuine about his feeling because of his sudden switch of focus from Lily to you (even though it gave him whiplash as well, but I guess he just accepted it faster.)
Notes: Best friend!James, he's less stupid, Lily is a sweet friend, fluff, pining, misunderstandings, (best) friends to lovers I guess, spelling mistakes probably because I typed this out on my phone.

______________________

With the hatch buried between you and James, you felt like you could finally properly breathe again. James had apologized again, of course and told you that he supported your new style.
Trying to balance your two friends groups however, did prove to be much more difficult than you thought. Neither of the two seemed very entertained by the thought of hanging out together as one group. Besides, James had become rather clingy as well, becoming his very own one man group to balance hanging out with.
"I now have abandonment fears," he jokingly defended when you raised your eyebrows at his arm, wrapped around your waist instead of your shoulder like usual while you two were walking down the open court yard.
"Right," you replied, seemingly not very impressed. You knew what he was trying to do, especially after your rejection. After all, save from Lily, he'd never actually been rejected. You assumed that this too, was a matter of pride. "You have nothing to prove you know," you told him and he merely hummed in reply.
"And anyway, you'll have to let me go now because my mum sent over some dresses for me. I'm planning on trying them on with the girls."
The grip on your waist tightened.
"No," he pleaded, "Don't leave me." He dramatically leaned his entire weight on you, dragging you down as well. Was he always this heavy? You incredulously thought.
"James, you'll make us both fall! Get up you're-"
"The earth is dragging me down. I can't help it, Love," he said in a playful, strained voice.
"Unless you want to spend the afternoon giving your opinion on dresses, I suggest you fight back against the earth, oh brave Gryffindor." You retorted, amusement clear in your voice.
James immediately straightened up. "Sure, I'll review your dresses," he happily replied.
‘Well’, you contemplated. You supposed it’s not as if you've never gotten dressed around eachother.”

Your mum had been very delighted at the news that she could go ahead and send over a dress through the mail. She went a tad bit overboard though, you thought as you looked at the heap of clothes on your bed.
James was sitting next to the said heap, waiting patiently for you to get changed in the bathroom. A pit formed in his stomach at the thought that he'd made things weird enough for you to want to get dressed in the bathroom. 'I mean, you've seen eachother naked before?' He thought. Not that he was aiming to see you naked of course.
His hands weaved through the beautiful clothes. He was sure they'd all look splendid on you. Would you go with him to the Yule Ball? His heart clenched. Probably not. You rejected a date with him to Hogsmeade. No way were you going to accept going to the ball together.
James stared out of the window, a lost feeling washing over him. How could he turn this around? Would you ever look at him that way?
The door opened and James' breath stopped, literally. It was simply perfect.
Mesmerizing, he thought.
'Merlin this was only the very first dress, how would his heart survive the dozen other dresses? You looked radiant. Like actually radiant. The dress made you glow with beauty and confidence. The color was what he could only describe as your color and made you look like bloody royalty.' He knew his opinion was biased, but it was still the truth, he thought.
And so his mind started racing. You were going to go to the ball, looking like that, with a date who was someone else. Jealousy flared up at the thought. He had to internally slap himself to shake him out of it.
You had taken his long silence as a negative opinion and quickly brought your arms to fold over your middle, covering yourself. "Not this one then?" You asked.
"No. I-I mean yes, sorry. I was distracted."
You felt slight disappointment at his words. Another sinking feeling in your stomach, but you reasoned with yourself that he just wasn’t used to doing this sort of activity with you. "You don't have to do this you know." You gently said and sat down next to him.
"Do you have a date to the ball?" He blurted out in response.
You were taken aback by the change of subject but shrugged. "There's been a few people who’ve asked, but I don't know. I've never talked to them before and it feels a little superficial that they only now would ask me out, just because they noticed I look and dress differently."
James could feel his heart plummet even lower if that was possible. Did you think that about him as well? You wouldn't be wrong of course. He'd only started to view you in a different light when you decided to go for a different style, and stopped only hanging out with the marauders after all. Guilt started to weigh his mind.
"Are you going to ask Lily out?" You tentatively asked.
"Of course," he automatically responded, without having processed the question. Your face fell a little. A confirmation, you thought. You were right. Maybe you'd have to accept one of the student' proposals for the Yule Ball after all.
James’ eyes widened and he quickly averted his eyes when you unzipped your dress right next to him. "The bathroom?!" He sqeaked out in panic.
You put on a grin. "Well, you look like you're bored and me taking my time in the bathroom will take too long. I guess I could just very quickly change here. Besides, you've seen me naked before."
James was somehow feeling more hurt at the prospect of you getting changed in front of him, than hiding in the bathroom. It meant that you really only saw him as a friend, he sighed.
You on the other hand, decided that you were hellbent on refusing to let your dynamic with James change because of unrequited feelings.

James was lying on his bed, wide awake. He couldn't sleep, mind wandering off to you, and he rolled around in frustration at himself and yelled into his pillow. Ashamed, he looked around if the he'daccidentally woken anyone up. He didn't.
He was restless. None of his subtle advances had apparently been noticed by you. And if they had, then you'd blatantly ignored them. James wasn't sure which option he liked better.
Tears of frustration and misery welled up in his eyes. He'd seen you get asked out by three different people today, and every time, his heart would stop, scared that you'd say yes.
The past few days, his eyes couldn't leave your figure as you went off to hang out with Lily, and he cursed himself for never having noticed you, too focused on Lily. He groaned and turned around again in his bed. "You're the perfect best friend," is what you had told him this morning when he had saved you from an awkward conversation with a seventh year Ravenclaw. His stomach had dropped.
'But you agreed to hang out with just him,' he kept telling himself in reassurance. Tomorrow was finally weekend and an off day which meant it was time for your not-date. At the thought, his heart lightened, and he managed to finally fall asleep.

You really weren't complaining at all. If anything you couldn't help your body from completely leaning into James who had once again wrapped his arms around your waist. Arms that were firmly holding on to you as if to not let you leave his side.
A week had passed since he asked you out on a date, and you and James were finally off to Hogsmeade together, your own heart both seering, as well as clenching at the thought that this was merely considered 'hanging out'.
Yes, you'd very much wanted it to be a date. Exactly like James had described it. Just the two of you, together on a date, which in a way was kind of what you were doing right now, even if you denied calling it that.
And if you weren't absolutely sure that you were setting yourself up for disappointment and heartbreak at the prospect of not working out because of his feelings for Lily, you would've definitely agreed with the biggest grin on your face.
But you were sure that that's what you'd be setting yourself up for. And having conflict avoiding tendencies had you make rational decisions such as then. Besides, the fact that he was going to ask Lily out to the Yule Ball confirmed that you had made the right decision.
'Could've been a date though', your mind seemed to whisper, and you grimaced. 'And then what,' you thought. 'Even if he settles for me, it would just be unfair for both of us. He never gets to be truly happy and I never get to be truly loved.' You scoffed.
"You okay, Love?" James shook you out of your train of thoughts, a concerned look on his face and he slowed his pace to a stop to properly look at you. His hands found their way to the sides of your face, his eyes searching yours.
You turned your head to the left and stuck out your tongue. He jerked away in surprise with a loud laugh. "That's foul!" He yelled. He was about to wipe his hand on his trousers when he stopped and then looked contemplatively from his hand to you and back.
Your grin was wiped off your face at the sight of the mischievous twinkle in his eyes and wasted no time to sprint off.
"You keep that hand to yourself Potter!" You shouted with a laugh.
"Absolutely not, you get back here!"
"This is a new dress, no way I'm letting you wipe your hand on it!" You quickly shot back and looked behind you to see him quickly catching up on you.
You watched with a face of disdain as he calmly wiped his hands with your sleeves, holding you in a headlock. "So unfair", you muttered.
James childishly stuck his tongue out and released you from his grasp.
It had you tumbling to the ground. "Hey!"
"Alright truce?" He asked and he stuck his hand out, both to seal the deal as well as help you up.
When you moved to shake his hand, he smirked. 'Oh so naive. You should know better.'
You noticed the trap far too late and weren't able to pull your hand back fast enough-
"James! Now that's foul!" You shrieked at his wet hand. Undoubtedly, because he'd spit in it moments before.
James was doubling over in laughter, and you took the opportunity to wipe your hands on his sweater. He let you.
“You’re ridiculous you know,” you shook your head.
“And you not at all,” he grinned. James wrapped his arms securely around your waist again, and you continued to head to Hogsmeade.

James looked at you from the bar counter. He was waiting for the drinks he ordered and admired you from afar. You were already sitting at a table in the corner for two and were munching on some snacks you had fished out of your bag, waving at him with a warm smile when you caught his gaze.
Sure, up until recently, he’d always seen you as the cool best friend that he could share everything with, tackle to the ground, tell gross jokes to, or get shirtless around when changing clothes. He was used to not at all treating you differently than Sirius, Remus or Peter, because in his eyes, you belonged to the same category.
But now, even though James also absolutely didn’t want your dynamic to change, he was conflicted because he finally saw you in a different light. He just had to try and make you see him in a different light as well.
The bartender gave him his drinks and he walked over to you with a grin. “Pick one,” he told you, still standing next to you and holding the mugs behind his back.
“Left,” you chose without hesitation. He put the mug in front of you and you looked suspiciously in the mug. At the sight of the green liquid you squinted your eyes at him. He put his own mug down and you leaned over the table to peer into it as well. Blue.
“Are you trying to poison us both?”
James snorted and sat down in front of you, “You got me.”
You kicked his leg under the table and he pretended to be in excruciating pain. “You wound me, Love,” He groaned exaggeratedly, all the way slouched down his chair and gripping his leg to sell his point.
“Want me to kiss it better?”, you teased and then immediately awkwardly paused. See this would’ve been a normal thing to say if you said this a month ago, but now it just made things weird. James however was grinning from ear to ear, absolutely soaking in the thought and cheekily replied, “Oh, darling, you must.”
‘Alright cheeky bastard’, you thought. Shaking your head with a chuckle, you moved your chair back and ducked under the table. James' eyes widened in shock, especially when you grabbed his leg.
“Drinking all by yourself?” Frank’s voice had both of you freeze up.
You moved to get up from your crouched position, planning on using a fallen hair tie as an excuse when James blurted out a different excuse. “No, just waiting for Y/N, she went to the bathroom.” You groaned and hit your head repeatedly against James’ knee.
Great, now it would be weird if you just crawled out from under the table.
“Y/N? I was actually looking for her, I mean we’re partners for potions class. You know what, I’ll just wait with you then.”
‘No!” James said, a little too loud, before he could help himself. He cleared his throat. “I mean uh,” James leaned in towards Frank and quietly, as if he was telling a secret, gleefully added, “We’re actually on a date.”
You playfully slapped his leg in a scolding manner.
Frank immediately seemed to get it and wished him good luck before leaving the table.
You scrambled out quickly and when your eyes met, you both burst out in laughter.

Despite your fear that dynamics would change and your resolve that you wouldn't allow it, you didn't mind the change so much if this was how it was going to be from now on, you thought to yourself. James had dramatically thrown himself half on top of you, head buried right under your breasts.
"Rough Quidditch practice", he'd mumbled before collapsing and absolutely melting like snow for the sun into you when you weaved your fingers through his curly locks, the other hand rubbing at the nape of his neck.
When you had tried to pull your hands away to retrieve your book from the bag next to you to pass the time while James seemed passed out, James had whined in protest, grabbing your hands and placing them back on his head.
"Prongs," you tried after a long time but received no answer. you lifted your hands from his head again and finally got a grumbled "What."
"Supper,' you softly spoke.
"Five more minutes, please?"
As if you could deny that request. After another few 'five more minutes' you finally gently pushed him off, both of you sitting up. He looked around, dazed, his eyes drooping and hair messy.
You entered the great hall with James trailing behind you, holding your hand. Peter spotted you and waved you over. James squished himself between Sirius and you, ignoring the other spot front of you that the marauders had saved for him.
"Blimey Y/N, what have you done with Prongs?!" Sirius asked, a horriefied expression adorning his face when James lazily rested his face in your neck. You laughed at his antics and shrugged, getting complaints from James at your movements.
Remus handed you two plates of food. "We saved these for you two."
"Thanks Moony," you gratefully accepted them and poked James with a fork. "Eat, you big baby," you said and pushed the fork in his hand. James internally groaned. But he was so comfortable like this. Why couldn't he just stay like this forever? He reluctantly sat up straight and started eating. He was hungry after all.
"Hey Potter, mind if we steal Y/N for a second?"
"Go away McKinnon," he was quick to respond and stuck out his tongue pettily. "She stays with me, you already had her the entire day."
You amusedly watched them banter. "I think you'll find that I will choose myself where I go, Prongs." And got up from your seat, moving down the long table to sit next to Lily.
"So what the hell was that Prongs?" Sirius inquired as soon as you were out of hearing range. Peter and Remus curiously looked at him.
"Oh, did I forget to tell you guys that I fancy Y/N?"
"Yeah that too, even if it was absolutely obvious," Peter shrugged.
Remus laughed at James' gaping expression. "What Padfoot meant was are you guys like a thing now? Like did we miss something? I thought you said she kinda rejected a date with you?"
James sighed dejectedly. "Yeah, she did." He straightened up again. But I'm working on it though."
Lily nudged you. "So I don't know if I should thank you or pity you."
"Huh?"
"I mean, thank you for getting James to stop pursuing me, but I'm sorry you have to deal with him now," she laughed.
Marlene wiggled her eyebrows at you. "Unless you don't mind having to deal with him of course," she smirked. "You looked pretty comfy," she added.
Alice nodded her head in agreement. "Frank told me you two went on a date last week apparently."
Your friends gasped dramatically and you were quick to deny it. "No, James just said that so Frank would leave us alone," you said and swatted Dorcas when she suggestively wiggled her eyebrows at you. "Ugh, you guys, be nice to me," you complained while laughing. "We're just friends hanging out, besides he still likes you Lils, look he's still staring at you," you said that last part with a sigh.
Lily raised her eyebrows. "Not at me, he's not." She nudged you again. "Look," she urged you.
You turned your head to look at James and your eyes met. He couldn't help but wink and felt very victorious when you looked away flusteredly, a big smile on your face.
'Could it be?'

Over the course of the next few weeks, James and you had gotten a lot closer. By now, you and James walked through the hallways, his hand always touching you somehow, whether he was holding yours, had his arm slung around your shoulders, waist, or lower back.
You also found yourself hanging around the boys dormitory alone with James more often than ever before. You were laying horizontally across his bed, your head hanging off the side of the bed. James went to the bathroom and you were passing the time.
You kept sliding forward bit by bit and when you were hanging low enough to look under James' bed, a brilliant plan to jumpscare him popped up in your brain. Perfect. You quickly moved to hide under his bed. Your hands ready to grab his ankles when he returned.
The door opened and you held your breath in anticipation. You peeked from underneath the drapes, covering your body and saw him look around surprisedly before a mischievous grin appeared on his face.
He called out your name to be certain and when you didn't respond, he pumped his fist excitedly and hurried to hide inside the wardrobe on the other side of the room, undoubtedly having the same idea as you and you couldn't suppress your laugh anymore. You rolled out from under the bed grinning like an idiot.
James joined you on the floor, although he did seem a little bit bummed out that he hadn't been able to prank you. "I guess genius recognizes genius," he admitted with a laugh.
"I have to go to the library to study," you bit your lip while you said it. Disappointed at the thought of breaking the peace.
James turned his head and looked over at you. You were so close. For a moment, he closed his eyes, relishing in the moment of having you within arms reach like that.
When he reopened his eyes, they flickered over your face and rested a little longer on your lips. It wouldn't take more than him leaning in to easily capture your lips and it took everything in him not to. It almost pained him literally. You turned your head towards James due to the lack of response, checking if everything was alright and if he had heard you when you said you needed to go.
"You're mesmerizing," he whispered softly, the words always on the back of his mind since he saw you in the first dress. You chuckled at that. "Using big words now, huh," you whispered back teasingly, a fond expression on your face.
"No, really."
Those two words left you speechless in surprise. You don't know what it was. Perhaps the sincerity on his face or in his tone. Perhaps the way he emphasized that he really meant it. Or maybe even the way he was looking at you right then. 
Whatever it was, it made you throw your reservations and resolve straight out of the window.
Rational decisions were the last thing on your mind when your eyes locked with James' and then you were both leaning in, meeting each other halfway in a soft, fleeting kiss.
"I think you're mesmerizing as well," You murmured against his lips and you could feel them curl up in a smile.

"You're such an arsehole," you laughed, slapping his ice cold hands away. You ended up not going to the library to study. After all, who needs studying anyway? Instead you and James had curled up against each other on his bed, entangled together and James decided to slide his freezing hands under your shirt, resting on your stomach.
"No, I'm mesmerizing," he huffed and attempted to warm his hands again.
"Did you even wash your hands when you returned from the bathroom?"
There was a long pause and you stared up at him incredulously. "James Potter! You are disgusting," you exclaimed.
“Oh don’t tell me you’ve never forgotten to wash your hands after going to the toilet!”
“Yeah, but I don’t have to hold the- the thing.”
James laughed loudly.
“You suck,” you huffed.
He held his hands up in mock surrender. "I can't be that bad, I won you over in less than a month," he wore a triumphant smile on his face and you wanted nothing more than to smack it off. You didn't of course, and instead buried your face in his neck in embarrassment while grumbling about arrogance. You two hadn't really talked about the kiss that happened 10 minutes prior.
Absolutely refusing to let you pull back mentally and physically, James had been quick to mention how uncomfortable your position on the floor really was, and he proposed to lay down on his bed instead where he changed the topic while still getting comfortable with you. It was his way of letting you know that he wasn't trying to skim over the fact that you kissed or ignore the fact that it happened, but rather that he wanted to ease the tension by doing so.
You were relieved and thankful for him, knowing that that tension would have absolutely made things too awkward for you, and that you would've definitely fled from the room in denial.
"I think I fancy you, James," you eventually quietly admitted to him, your voice muffled as your face was still hidden away.
His grip on you tightened and he pulled you even closer, pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Yeah?" he breathed out, his heart soaring.
"Yeah."
"I fancy you too, Love." And with that you tilted your head up far enough to place your lips in a firm kiss right under his jaw.
There was another comfortable silence and then, "So, how about a proper date. You and me, us, together." He quickly clarified the last part.
You laughed out loud. "Yes please, Hogsmeade?"
"Actually, I was thinking maybe the Yule Ball."
3K notes · View notes
mellowsaturns · 10 months
Text
in losing grip, on sinking ships (you showed up just in time)
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BUCKY BARNES X FEM!READER
summary: when the avengers pick up unusual activity, they realize that not all of hydra was destroyed. one unidentifiable face sends the team into a frenzy but bucky knows it. he could recognize those eyes anywhere.
warnings: heavy angst, one sided enemies-to-lovers-ish, hydra!assassin!reader, hurt/comfort, happy ending, brainwashing, trauma, guns & knives, fighting, implied kidnapping of reader when young, all the feels, misunderstandings, poor attempt at writing action
wc: 4.7k
a/n: sorry it’s been forever but i hope my fellow buckyluvrs are still here <3 i actually wrote this a long time ago but never got around to editing until recently so i guess you can say this is (from the vault) ? inspired by the idea: what-if there was another winter soldier and bucky finds himself in steve’s position this time trying to get you back to him. anyways, i hope you enjoy this one :)
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Bucky’s life was a never ending montage of gunfire and bloodshed. It didn’t matter if he was under the clutches of someone else, he still lived through the wars—the lingering smell of smoke and tang of metallic forever ingrained in his senses.
And just when he thought it was finally over—a glimmer of peace at last—it comes and steals that dream away from him.
Like deja-vu, he’s looking at faces that were once responsible for his pain.
On the screen, three Hydra officers stare back at him. All faces identified by Tony’s system. Alive. Last seen in the outskirts of some small country in Europe. Irrelevant low ranking officials that had managed to survive the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D and have been hiding and secretly continuing Hydra’s mission underground ever since. Low officials or not, it was one too many.
Bucky freezes in his spot when Tony swipes the screen. The billionaire goes on a rant saying this particular face cannot be identified, which was according to Tony, bullshit because his face recognition system is the best in the world. The rest of the team is arguing and flipping through countless files and internet archives. But Bucky knows. He knows that face and those haunting eyes that he still sees in his dreams.
“Buck,” a voice calls out. “You know her, don’t you?”
He looks up at Steve from his spot, his best friend's face worried and all knowing.
One thing about Hydra was that they were always prepared. They had backups and multiple plans ready, or else how would two heads take its place when one was cut off? Unfortunately for the world, Hydra managed to make another deadly assassin, one whose work was so discreet and nimble that even intelligence didn't know they existed.
You were a ghost story that lived in the shadows of the Winter Soldier. You were another one of Hydra’s prize possessions—less known, but just as deadly.
With Steve’s comment, all eyes are now on Bucky. A pregnant pause fills the air and he gulps before he confesses, “I wasn’t the only one.”
The room becomes tense. The war that they thought was over suddenly looms over like an unpredicted oncoming storm. “Jesus Christ, Barnes. You couldn’t have informed us about her earlier?” says Tony.
“I thought,” he says, shifting his eyes onto the ground, “I thought she fell with S.H.I.E.L.D.”
Bucky couldn’t find you anywhere after he escaped their grasp. After he joined the Avengers, he tried once again secretly using Tony’s technology but it was to no avail—it always ended up being a dead end. And for that, he assumed Hydra had put you out of your misery the day they were caught.
But the face on the screen says otherwise. And suddenly, Bucky feels very guilty.
Steve clears his throat, “Well, they were picked up not too long ago heading north. If we leave now, we might be able to find them and stop them once and for all.”
Everyone looks at each other, debating on his proposal. “What the Captain said. Everybody, suit up. Quinjet leaves in ten,” says Tony.
On the jet, Bucky stares off into space but countless questions run through his mind.
Steve walks over and sits beside him. “What’s going on in that head of yours?” he asks, voice quiet.
Bucky sighs, “I just… I thought she was gone.”
“Hey, it’s not your fault. You didn’t know.”
He looks up, wondering if he should tell Steve the truth. That he’s not brooding about the fact that he concealed you to them. After a moment, Bucky speaks up. “When we get there, let me handle her. Please.”
Steve didn’t know what kind of history Bucky had with you. But judging from the look his best-friend is giving, it’s more than what Steve could understand or even comprehend but he trusts Bucky and so, he gives him a nod. “She’s all yours.”
After scouting the area and tracing the location to a very hidden underground warehouse in the middle of nowhere, they split up. The warehouse was dark and dusty, surely abandoned, but Bucky knew better—it was their facade behind the most sinister of activities. Through the comms, Natasha announces that she has already taken care of all the troops in the West wing. Moments later, Sam reports that he has eliminated one of the Hydra officers. They wouldn’t last long. Hydra didn’t have much resources or time to rebuild—their current empire was weak, they were no match for the Avengers this time.
The only person Bucky’s truly worried about is you. The fact that he trained you, made you into what you were today already gave him the chills. He’s not the Winter Soldier anymore, but he was certain that you were still in that killer mindset that Hydra forced upon you.
Step by step, Bucky walks through the quiet hallway, the echoes of his footsteps the only noise. It’s cold here, he notices, which gives him flashbacks to those days in his dirty cell and the cryostasis chamber. Down a hallway to the next, round a corner and another, there wasn’t a single soul in the eerily Eastern wing.
But he spoke too soon, because seconds later, a garrote wire was around his neck. The swift invisible steps and the perfect pressure that was being used to quickly cut off his air supply was all too familiar. He knows this move, he taught this move. You’re here, and you’re dragging him backwards.
Before all oxygen gets cut off to his brain, he jabs his elbow backwards and hits you hard on the rib which releases the hold you have on him and sends you stumbling back. Bucky takes a moment to regain his breath but you’re on your feet again. He looks at you and for a moment he freezes, then you let out a sinister grin. “Nice to see you again, Soldat,” you taunt, before running towards him.
Bucky’s deflecting your punches one after another. Maybe he’s glad he was the one who taught you everything you know because your moves were predictable—if it were another person, there is no doubt they would’ve been on the ground with multiple concussions bleeding out already. You’re ruthless when you do a triple roundhouse kick on him. On the fourth one, he manages to catch your leg and twists it, sending you to the ground with a groan.
How familiar this scene was, Bucky thinks.
Some forty-years ago, Hydra brought a woman into the training room. There was no further instruction than to train you and that’s what he did. He could tell you were well trained already—compliant and pliable. You were good. And you were just like him, injected with a serum that made you a hundred times more efficient and stronger. In just under a year, Hydra would start sending you on missions. Sometimes with him, sometimes alone.
During training, the both of you would spar for hours, leaving each other bloody and bruised, but it didn’t matter to the overlookers, the both of you would heal in a few hours anyways.
Once you pick yourself back up, he pulls a gun out on you. “Stop this,” he commands.
You smirk, “You going to shoot me, Soldat? I want to see you try.”
He clenches his jaw. You continue to look at him, a dark look on your face that shows no sign of true recognition.
His thoughts are disrupted when you tackle him onto the ground. You kick his gun away and pin his arms down as you straddle him. “I’m going to kill you,” you declare, “I’m going to put a bullet through your head.”
When he looks up at you, your eyes are full of rage. Bucky doesn’t know whether that’s the brainwashed version of you talking or the actual you talking—maybe both.
“What are you going to do after you kill me?” he says, irritated. C’mon, please recognize me. “This is all that remains of Hydra. Half the troops are already dead. One of your new leaders is dead. In a few hours, Hydra will be no more. What will you do after that? What are you going to do after you kill me?”
“What does it matter? You’re my mission. I’m going to finish it.”
He groans at your stubbornness that was identical to his Soldier persona.
He says your name slowly. “Get off. You can walk away from this.”
You frown, but he continues, “I know how you feel. You’re feeling helpless.” He clears his throat, “There’s someone behind this version of you. I want to talk to her.”
“What are you talking about?” you utter in annoyance. “Stop stalling.”
He says that name again, with calamity and care. You want to rip out his tongue.
“Let me talk to her. Please.”
“I don’t know who you’re talking about!” you shout, grabbing for the gun that’s strapped onto your waist. “Stop talkin–”
“I was in the cell next to yours. You liked the colour green. You were wearing white when we first met. You always wanted to visit Bucharest. You hated the leaky cold showers in the Siberian facility,” he rambles, trying to remember every single thing about you in a desperate attempt to get your attention so this version of you won’t shoot him in the face.
And for a moment, it works because your hand freezes on the grip of your gun. He takes that moment to flip you over, so you’re under him now, hands pinned above your head. He takes your gun and throws it behind him.
You snarl at him while trying to escape his grasp. “I know you’re under there,” he says. “Please, come through. Please talk to me.”
Your face scrunches in pain, not from him—he would never hurt you—but from the mental warfare that’s currently going on in your mind. You close your eyes as he speaks again. “Listen to my voice, you know me, don’t you? мой милая.”
My darling.
For a moment, your entire body tenses up and then you let out a painful breath. When your eyelids start to flutter open, he finally sees the eyes he came to know and rely on—eyes he came to love.
The both of you are looking at each other unblinking. A scene neither of you expected but always dreamt about.
You break the silence with a whisper of, “James?”
Bucky slowly nods at your disbelief. Finally, he thinks. But such respite doesn’t last long, because seconds later, you hook your foot under his and flip him over and escape his grasp.
There's darkness in your eyes and he can tell that the Soldate is back and the fighting resumes.
You’re chasing him down the twisting hallway and when you catch up, you grab his shoulder and throw a punch to his jaw. He stumbles back and then a voice comes through the comms.
“Just took down the second one.” Steve. “Bucky, how are you holding up? You’ve been quiet ever since we split up.”
He’s trying his best to block your hand, which now has a damn pocket knife. Your quick movements are starting to tire him out. Maybe he taught you too well, he thinks.
“Buck? Bucky. Confirm your status, right now.”
Groaning in frustration, he taps his earpiece. “I’m fine,” he grunts. A second later, “Shit!” he huffs out as you nearly slice his face.
“You don’t sound fine. Is she with you? I’m sending back up.”
“No!” he says, “Don’t send anyone. I can handle her.”
In truth, he’s struggling right now—your stamina has always been better than his—but he’s worried that you’re going to accidentally get hurt and even more agitated when people appear. His main priority was keeping you safe. Fuck the mission statement they talked about back on the Quinjet.
You’re angry—no, you’re extremely angry at him. It doesn’t take a genius to tell. It’s a mixture of pure rage from both the brainwashed and actual you.
He supposed he deserved it. You should be angry. Because for the longest time, it was you and him.
Other than turning you into a ruthless assassin just like him, an unexpected companionship also formed during those hazy in-between moments when the two of you weren’t frozen or on the metal chair getting fried by those machines—during the times when he was just Bucky and you were just you, two unfortunate innocent souls that shared the same suffering.
They weren’t pleasant moments. It was dehumanising. It was getting shoved into draughty cells with nothing but a blanket until it was time to train or time to embark on a mission. Luckily, your cells were next to each other and it made the endless nights a little more bearable. He was a little off-putting at first, but when he yelled at you to stop crying because they would torture you even more for it, you knew he meant well.
During your shared time together, glimpses of your true selves would seldom come up and you would tell each other about the little bits and pieces of a life once known. And the both of you would hold onto each other's memories and stories in case the other forgets.
And whenever they prep the two of you for the chamber due to there being no current missions for the time being, the two of you would look at each other—a look of longing with the secret squeezing of each other's hand before going under.
Despite the absolute awful situation the two of you were in at the time, the both of you were hopeful for the next shared moments together. Because even when all hope was gone, you had each other. And that was good enough for the two of you.
He misses you. So damn much.
“Shut up,” you mutter.
He didn’t even realise he said it outloud. “Well, I do,” he admits, his back hitting a wall.
“You talk too much, Soldat,” you say, creeping up on him. “I ought to cut your throat.”
“I’m sorry I left you with them.”
You halt in your steps and your jaw ticks. In a second, you pounce on him, your knife against his throat. He’s gripping your hand to stop you from continuing your job.
He says your name again. You’re pushing but he’s pushing back just as hard. “I’m sorry…” he repeats, “I’m so sorry.”
The desperation in his voice… You glance up at him slowly and he sees the pink forming in your eyes and your trembling lips. “What are you doing? What are you doing to me?” you whisper.
He sees the internal war behind your eyes once again. Bucky gulps for a moment before letting go of your hand, trusting that you won’t do any actual harm, and moves his hands so he’s cupping your face, firm enough so you’re forced to look at him. You look into his eyes for a second, then a minute, and for a moment, everything stops. Your breath hitches, because those eyes… those arctic blues… you know them. You fell in love with them many years ago.
A realisation washes over your face, one that Bucky doesn’t miss. You’re back.
The first tear falls. Then the second. “Bucky.”
“Hey, sweetheart,” he whispers.
You let out a small cry before you press the blade harder against his neck, your grip a vice from his betrayal. He could feel the sharp cold metal pierce through his skin ever so slightly, but he doesn’t try and stop you.
“Give me a reason to not kill you right now,” you grit through tears. “You left me. You left me behind to rot alone. You promised me. You fucking promised,” you say, voice laced with venom and so much hurt.
Bucky’s heart breaks at the sadness of your voice. Because he did promise. There wasn’t much to do in the cells other than throw around false hope. But whenever he told you he was going to escape one day and that he was going to take you with him—it didn’t feel like false promises at all because it wasn’t, and you knew it too.
Until he broke that promise and left you all alone.
“I didn’t mean to,” he says, voice breaking. “I didn’t mean to leave you there with them.”
“I waited for you,” you cry. “Day and night I waited for you to come back. Even when they relocated, I waited for you because I knew you’d find me.”
You remember that day clearly. Everyone was in a frenzy when the death of Alexander Pierce broke out and that they could not locate the Soldat. For a moment, you could taste your own freedom because government officials would come anytime now and finally arrest all these criminals. But right when they came, a few Hydra officers managed to escape and took you with them, and when you woke up, you didn’t know where the hell you were. But even then you didn’t lose hope because James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes, the name you committed to memory, was going to come for you just like he promised.
Until days, months, and eventually, a year came with no sign of him.
You were angry at first, but it slowly turned into worry because what if something bad had happened to him? But what do you know? You were stuck in this building and only went out whenever they spoke those trigger words to you. And you were always under their watchful eyes, giving you no chance to even attempt an escape. Surely he would never break his promise to you so something must’ve happened to him, you told yourself multiple times.
But he was standing here right in front of you. Alive. We’re under attack, your handler said to you moments ago, Kill the Soldat before he kills you.
“You’re a liar. You never cared about me,” you hiss.
Sometimes, it got too much. But whenever reality was a bit too hard to endure, Bucky was there, always reaching his hand out to you through the metal cage, which you took and held tight. And it meant the world to you, that someone cared.
“All those moments, did it even mean anything to you?”
He uses this opportunity to pull your arms down slightly, knife finally away from his neck and his eyes start to sting from his own tears. “They meant everything to me. I care about you.”
You look up at him with a defeated expression and Bucky never wanted to punch himself in the face more. “Then why? Why didn’t you come back for me?”
“I did,” he chokes out. “When I escaped, the first thing I did was go back for you, but the facility had already been raided and there was no one there. I checked every inch of the building.”
Bucky had never felt so scared, because what if the government took you too? They would never understand—framing you as a villain even though that was far from the truth. But there was no news of your capture, so with a breath of relief, Bucky continued to look through other known Hydra facilities.
“I tried my best looking for you, but I also had to be careful because I was a wanted man at the time. When months passed by and there were no clues, I thought that maybe you had escaped. I was in Bucharest waiting for you. Remember how you said you always wanted to go there? I knew that if you escaped, you’d find me there. Even when you didn’t show, I never gave up. Steve… I think I told you about him once—he found me, he helped me and cleared my name. After that, I still searched for you but it all ended up being dead ends. And…” he pauses for a moment, “and so I thought you were dead. I should’ve tried harder. I’m sorry.”
He had mourned you and blamed himself endlessly for it.
He knows he should’ve asked for help, but instead, he took this task upon himself until it got too much—because that was the one thing he struggled with the most, asking for help.
When his side of the story finally comes to light, you break into a sob. “I don’t expect you to forgive me,” he says, “but please, drop the weapon and let me help you.”
You swallow hard at his confession. He never stopped looking for you. You didn’t even consider how hard it must’ve been for him after everything and yet you’re lashing out on him.
“How are you going to help me?” you say. “I’m a mess. All you have to do is say those words and I turn into a weapon.”
Twelve. Ember. Fragment. Nine. Academy. Order. Frigid. Yearning. Blue.
Those were your trigger words.
“I got you out of your trance, didn’t I?” he says with a gentle smile.
Hydra needed you to rebuild their empire and they relied on those nine words to do so. To them, those nine words were your greatest weakness but one of them, the last one, the one they liked to spit out in vexation, was also your greatest strength—your salvation.
Blue.
You think back, moments prior, when all he had to do was use his voice and all you had to do was look into the blues of his eyes. Hydra can repeat those words all they want, but Bucky would always be able to bring you back.
At that, your grip relaxes and the knife finally drops onto the floor, it’s noise ricocheting off the walls.
“There’s a place called Wakanda and I know someone there who can help you. Her name’s Ayo and she’s amazing. She helped me overcome my words.”
He brings his hands back up to cradle your face and you shutter at the familiar touch—at the calluses on his palms. “And I think you’ll like it there. It’s quiet and there’s so much… green.”
You let out a small laugh through your tears but doubt still fills your mind. “But… all the things I did,” you whimper, “I did such terrible unforgivable things. There’s… there’s so much blood on my hands.”
Sadness flares around his heart. It was all so familiar. He knows the feeling.
“It’s not going to be easy. God knows how long it took for me to believe that none of it was my fault. But let me be the first one to tell you,” he says, wiping your tears away with his thumb. “None of what you did was your fault. You were a victim.” He swallows a deep breath, “There are going to be days where it’ll be too much too bear and there are going to be nights where all those casualties will haunt you,” he admits. “But… but you’ll get there. Someday, you’ll learn to stop punishing yourself for something you didn’t do.”
And he vows that he’ll help you every step of the way.
You breathe out slowly, digesting all his words. “You can trust me,” he tells you, “I won’t let you down this time. I’ll be here.”
Blinking up at him, the small hesitant part of you so desperately wanted to say, “How can I trust you?” but his eyes were telling you everything you needed to know. Because it was filled with nothing but honour and truth.
He breaks away from you and reaches out his hand. An invitation. You stare at it for a while, then you slowly lift yours and brush your fingers amongst his before grabbing it tightly—a truce of sorts, a promise. He squeezes back in return, a loving smile on his face, just like all those nights many moonlights ago.
Your breath hitches when he pulls you into his embrace, your face burying perfectly into the valley of his chest. He wraps his arms around you in urgency, in fear, almost afraid you’ll slip out if he doesn’t.
“It’s over,” he mumbles into your hair.
Because two floors down an explosion erupts, finishing off the last remaining garrison of troops. Three hallways down, Natasha sets fire to a room that contained the other small red leather book that held those nine suffocating words written in Russian. Outside, the last Hydra officer attempting to flee falls to his knees from an arrow to the chest. And the only hope they had left to rebuild their regime was safely in Bucky’s arms.
He pulls away and uses his thumb to rub gently across your cheek, “It’s over. The war is finally over.”
Now that the worst is over, Bucky’s hopeful. There will be other conflicts to come, that was just how it worked, but this one, the one that held you and him underwater for years was finally over. War always took too much, but this time, it gave something back. Because among the ashes and ruins you came back to him, no more oceans in between.
“What do we do now?” you press nervously. You were taken at a young age and spent years in the Red Room before you were sold off to Hydra. Like Bucky, you’re in the wrong time period, there’s no one to go back to.
There’s so many things you could do, Bucky thinks. You can finally start living the life you deserved, the life that was taken from you too early. He’ll have to explain all this to his teammates but he knows they’ll understand. They treated him so well, there’s no doubt they’ll show the same kindness for you. Then, he’ll go with you to Wakanda, get rid of the words, maybe stay there for a while so you could heal—maybe show you the goats he took care of during his time there.
You’ll probably adjust to the 21st century better than him—you won’t need to start off with a flip phone, that’s for sure. He’ll make you listen to all the great records and watch all the movies you missed out on. There’s so many things he wanted to do with you. He knows you have no memories, no recollection. It didn’t matter, Bucky thinks, he would make new memories with you, ones worth cherishing and remembering. If you’ll have him, of course.
But first and most importantly, “Let’s get you cleaned up, okay? Then we can talk about it,” he says, rubbing the grime off your nose.
He grabs your hand and heads for the exit. But before he does, you pick up your knife from the floor and in one quick motion, you spin around and throw it. The knife embeds itself into the wall a few metres away, right next to a prying face. You stand in front of Bucky and stare at the intruder with a murderous gaze and Bucky’s heart races at the thought of you still wanting to protect him after everything.
The blond raises his arms up in surrender.
“Steve,” Bucky says from behind and you briefly recognize that name. You turn around to look at him and he meets your eyes, nodding. You relax your stance.
“Hi,” Steve says, voice slightly hoarse. “I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”
Bucky scoffs at him, as if he wasn’t eavesdropping the whole time.
Steve looks at the both of you, then a gentle smile adorns his face. “C’mon, the rest are waiting outside for you both.”
You step forward. This is it. Freedom. A new life. Bucky notices your hesitation as you suddenly stop in your tracks. Intertwining his fingers with yours, he squeezes with reassurance. You take a deep breath, then the two of you follow Steve to the exit, leaving behind the smoke and memories of your old life.
Outside, the sun comes up slowly but surely on the horizon, painting the awakening sky a gentle warm hue of oranges and pinks.
A new beginning awaits.
3K notes · View notes
kquil · 5 months
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POLY MARAUDERS | HEROES IN TATTOOS PART 4
04 : DISAPPEAR
SUM. : you find out the truth about the boys' relationship
REQUEST. : this might be a dumb question but are the marauders also all in a poly relationship with each other? if so, i'd love one where the reader finally has that realisation and gets all blushy and starts to consider if they'd ever want to include her —@thepunisherfrankcastle
TAGS. : modern au ; muggle au ; tattoo artist james ; tattoo artist sirius ; piercer remus ; only slight fluff ; mostly angst ; im so sorry ; reader finds out the truth ; but not really in the best way ; major misunderstanding trope ; sirius isn't a bad person! ; poly relationship revealed ; yay? ; distance ; walking away trope-ish ; james is precious ; remus trying to make the hard decisions ; our boys need a hug ; wolfstar ; starchaser ; angst angst angst ; im sorry im sorry im sorry!
LENGTH : 5.2k
← PREV. : 03 | GROCERIES
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Hearing James giggling fills your chest with warmth and is so contagious that you have to bite your lip so as not to join him. He sees your resistance and moves his hand, making you freeze up and stop all movement. His index finger curls under your chin to lift your gaze as his thumb settles on your bottom lip and slowly draws it out from the press of your upper teeth. 
“I can’t be the only one laughing, angel,” on his face is an innocent smile but you know he’s devilish — the raging fire he lights up inside you with the smooth delivery of his simple statement is evidence enough that he’s up to no good.
His light grasp offers barely any resistance when you lift your chin away, “that’s because I’m not ticklish like you,” 
“Hey now,” he warns firmly but you can see the mutual playfulness reflecting clearly in his hazel eyes, it was like staring into clear honey, “you’re the one who’s colouring in my tattoo like a toddler,” 
“I was bored,” you defend a little too quickly, getting huffy and exaggerating a pitiful pout. It was… a sight, James admits in his head; you look adorable like this and he wants to frame the image in his memory forever, “and besides, you agreed to it,”
“Yeah, so don’t tease me about being ticklish,” his hand reaches up to play with a strand of your hair before he leans down to press a kiss onto your forehead, where you feel his mischievous smile lift up the corner of his lips, “instead, tell me how much you love to hear my laugh,”
There’s no way you’ll ever admit that. Not to his face, at least…
“Woah, comfy are we?~” came the familiar teasing voice of Sirius, who walks into the room and almost has his eyes bulging out at the sight of you and James, “you lucky bastard, Prongs,” Sirius clicks his tongue but there’s no malice in his eyes or tone, “shirtless, all relaxed and cool, leaning back into the sofa with our doll on your lap and colouring in your tats,” your cheeks heat up under your skin when a shameless expression takes over James’s face and he sends a wink over at his fellow tattooist. 
“I guess I saved the universe in a past life,” James chuckles, receiving an eye roll in return.
“And you, princess,” Sirius whistles playfully and leans down to kiss the crown of your head, “how lucky you are to have such well-sculpted muscles and a handsome face entertaining you,” the heat on your cheeks continue to blossom, “I don’t know who I’m more jealous of,”
That was the first time you were hinted at Sirius’s dichotomy. Between the wink he sends James and the satisfied grin the glasses-wearing brunette returns, you felt a slight shaking in your heart that you couldn’t quite place. 
It didn’t feel bad… but it didn’t feel good either…
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After the first homemade lunch you made for them, you’ve gotten into the habit of regularly visiting the boys at the shop with boxed lunches whenever time nears noon. They often insisted that the first surprise lunch was enough thanks. 
“It’s really okay for you not to do this, dove,” Remus voices, slowly trailing off as he leans forward to wipe a stray crumb off the side of James’ mouth with his thumb, only to lick the crumb he wiped off without batting an eye. James pays him no mind either and continues savouring your cooking; he was always the one person who devoured your food as if he was a starved man being fed for the first time.
“But–” you quickly protest, trying to dismiss the small gesture between the two, “but I enjoy cooking for you,” 
“And we’re very grateful,” Sirius smiles warmly at you and takes your hand to press a kiss against your knuckles, “but your company is enough,” ever the flatterer and flirt, you resist the butterflies in your stomach from his gesture and words. 
“And we feel guilty that you have to buy and cook all this food,” Remus adds but you assure them one more time. 
“I promise I’ll stop if it ever gets too hard or burdensome but, for now, please let me do it…” the boys look at each other and smile following a unanimous sigh of defeat. You weren’t aware of the effect your soft pleas and pretty eyes had on them. Of course, they couldn’t say ‘no’ and agreed, satisfied with your pledge for the meantime. 
“Ugh! These cookies are amazing!” James praises, completely oblivious to the interaction you had with Remus and Sirius. He looks up and the three of you have to suppress your laughter at his childish appearance, crumbs surrounding his mouth as his cheeks puffed out from the food he still had to chew. 
“Swallow your food first, James,” Remus reminds, which James quickly does before addressing you again. 
“Can you please teach me?” James leans forward in earnest and you swear there are stars in his eyes, “please teach me how to make them so I can have them all the time. I’m an expert at making fruit tarts now but Moony and Padfoot are sick and tired of me making just fruit tarts,”
You were flattered but…“I want them to stay special though,” you pout softly, “I want to be the only person who bakes them for you,”
Before James could answer, Sirius breaks out into peels of laughter, “you don’t have to worry about that, doll,” he winks at you and side-eyes James with a smirk, “James sucks ass in the kitchen, especially when it comes to baking,” James shouts in protest but is swamped by the laughter shared between you, Remus and Sirius. Nevertheless, you finally agreed to teach him just so he stops pouting… even if he looked cute doing so. 
That Saturday, you were at their apartment, eager to teach James the secrets to your baking creations. Their flat was sizable and still relatively clean, which you verbally praise and are clued into all of their cleaning habits in more detail. It appears that they have a pretty good system going on that keeps things neat; Remus handles the organisation of all items and keeps stock on most things, Sirius proactively keeps all spaces clean and James loves doing laundry. When asked, he said that the main reason was because he liked the smell of clean sheets, which you couldn’t really blame him for. Together, their good habits cumulatively result in a tidy space and you were impressed; not only were they great friends but they functioned well together too. In some ways, you were envious of that. 
When you arrived at the apartment, the boys had all of the ingredients you sent over on a list laid out on their kitchen counters, ready to be put together and baked into your famous cookies. 
“Do you two want to join us?” you ask with a smile as James helped you into Sirius’ apron, tying up the strings behind you. 
“We’re good, darling,” Sirius smiles and offers to tie up your hair as James slips into his apron. You don’t deny his assistance and hand him over your hair tie as Remus observes the scene with a soft smile, leaning against the door frame that leads into the kitchen.
As much as Sirius and Remus disparaged James’ abilities to bake in the kitchen, he, once again, proved them wrong. He did pretty well with following your instructions and getting things done if you discounted the times he got distracted and had to pull you away from the work as well, just to share in the fun. The last time you baked together was a lot of fun and you were just as eager to get back into the kitchen with him in order to experience that joy all over again. Like last time, Sirius and Remus occupied the living room while you and James got to making the cookie dough before eventually baking the cookies. With the timer set, it won’t be too long before you’re happily serving everyone yours and James’ baked cookies with some tea and coffee. 
“It’s just down the hall,” James points out, directing you to their bathroom, “it’s the last door on your right,” with a quick word of thanks, you make your way out to relieve yourself while James gets started on clean up duty. You promised not to be too long so he didn’t have to clean all by himself but he just laughed it off and assured you to take all the time you need — ever the sweetheart. 
Your mood was light and happy and, like all other times you spent with the boys, it felt as if you were walking on air… that is, until you weren’t. From the corner of your eye, when passing the living room doorway, your heart came to a stuttering stop at the scene you happened upon. 
Seated on the sofa was Remus with Sirius’ laid down, his head on the tall brunette’s lap. It would have been a scene you could have easily shrugged off if it weren’t for Remus bending down so that the two could share a loving kiss. One that had Sirius running his fingers through Remus’ light brown hair, who returned the touch by tenderly gripping at Sirius’ thigh with a spare hand. You would have remained frozen there, like some petrified statue, if Sirius didn’t hum pleasantly only to have Remus chuckle against his lips. 
Hurrying to the bathroom, you struggle to get the scene out of your head as your heart breaks over and over again until the stinging pain in your chest dulls into a throbbing ache. 
If they were in a loving relationship then you were happy for them, truly…you were; they always looked so content and at bliss around each other, you felt stupid for not having put the puzzle pieces together yourself. It was just conflicting as to why they never hesitated to establish some sort of distance with you when they already had one another. They were together romantically and yet they were able to press loving kisses against your temple and wrap their arms around you with their loved one standing close by?...
“There you are,” James chuckles when you finally make it back into the kitchen, “I was starting to get worried that you somehow got lost on your way to the bathroom,” it was a weak attempt but you joined his laughter without offering to explain your whereabouts. Turning back to the sink, James returns to washing the dishes as you wordlessly get to wiping down the surfaces. He doesn’t appear to notice your sudden change in mood or, at least, he doesn’t let on that he knows; soon enough, he’s yapping away again, being his usual goofy self and drawing a smile from you. He almost makes you forget. You could always count on James to be your ray of sunshine; a happy bug who was eager to spread his contagious joy. 
Sirius and Remus were a… surprise, although you really should have known better than to not suspect anything. They’re happy though, and you’re happy for them; that’s what matters. 
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It was hard to gauge whether or not you should confront them about the revelation you had about their relationship. You had to thoroughly think it over… 
There had to be a reason behind why Remus and Sirius didn’t want to tell you about their relationship and managed to get James in on it too. It must have been a very good reason. So you can’t fault them and resolve to stay silent on the matter. Their privacy needs to be respected; they’ll tell you when they’re ready, you’re sure of it. For now, you just have to act normal, as if nothing happened. The only problem was that you were left to wonder…
Why haven’t they told you? Is it awkward for them? Maybe they didn’t trust you enough? Did they think you were homophobic?— You’re not! You fully support all types of love in all its forms and would never be prejudicial towards them because they preferred the same gender. Or maybe they did trust you but the right time just never came up? That’s also plausible. They probably just need time…yeah! Time, you can give them that; you’re a very patient person, after all—
“—Dove?” 
“H-huh?” you blink rapidly, returning to the present as Remus tilts his head at you curiously. 
“Are you okay?” there’s an amused smirk painted across his lips as he eyes you up and down, “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” his warm voice is like a comforting hug on an autumn day, one that makes you want to lose all thoughts and melt into his arms. 
“Y-yeah!” you chirp as embarrassment begins to creep in, “Sorry about that,” he laughs with you, “I guess I got distracted,” Remus nods, understanding in his eyes as he turns to the clock on the office wall.
“The both of us have been at it for a while,” he hums when reading the time, “I think we deserve a break,”
“Snack run?” 
Seeing the delight in your eyes, Remus laughs and presses a kiss to your temple. It takes everything in you not to lean away out of respect for Sirius —you still need to act as normal as possible so you don’t draw attention but it’s getting harder and harder to do so, “snack run,” he confirms, his gaze lingering on your tight-lipped smile. It’s an awkward tilt of your lips and it doesn’t belong on your usually soft and brightly beaming features, Remus thinks to himself. He wants to ruminate on it’s appearance further but files away his thoughts for another day, “let me tidy up here first and I’ll meet you out front,”
Nodding stiffly, you hurry to leave and get to the front of the parlour, where you can safely catch your breath. There, you can recalibrate your thoughts and feelings from a safe distance—
Your gradually slowing thoughts come to a grinding halt as you pass. 
What did you just see?...
Angling yourself carefully and peeking through the crack of the door, you resist the urge to gasp in horror. In an otherwise empty tattoo room, Sirius sits in his tech chair and angles himself upwards as James stands and leans down to meet the former in a sweet kiss. 
Scandalised, you cover your mouth and step away from the door, suppressing a scream as racing thoughts pour into your head. 
SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!SiriusIsCheatingOnRemusWithJames!
All breath escapes you and the world begins to spin. The charming, loyal and honest character of Sirius that you’ve built up in your head breaks apart and you’re left spiralling at the implications of his betrayal. You feel like crying and vomiting and throwing a rage-filled fit all at the same time! Wait! —No! It’s not about what you want to do it’s about what you need to do and that’s to—
It was then that you hear Remus walking down the steps behind you. Your heart jumps in your chest and your stomach caves in on itself. Leaning forward, you peek through the crack in the open door again and find Sirius carefully prepping his tools for a later appointment while James is against one wall on the other side of the room, checking something on the computer. 
Good… Remus doesn’t have to see anything… you think to yourself, although the thought alone makes your heart break all over again. 
“Ready to go?” Remus asks, approaching you with a lifted brow of curiosity. He’s probably wondering why you haven’t made it to the front of the parlour yet. 
“I-I was just thinking!…uhh,” you bite your lip and try to keep your rising panic from reflecting in your eyes. 
“Hmm?”
“I don’t really want to go on a snack run,”
“Oh?” Remus didn’t even try to hide his surprise, it wasn’t like you to not go on a snack run — so much for wanting to act normal… “How come?”
“I just remembered something-!” it was a lame excuse but you could kill two birds with one stone through this, it’ll be worth it, “-something I wanted to talk to Sirius about—”
“You called?~” speak of the devil and he shall appear. Upon hearing his name, Sirius pulls open the door and flashes his usual charming smile, which only draws a chilling glare from you. Caught off-guard, Sirius blinks in surprise, “What’s the matter, dollface?”
A taunting whistle floats through the air from behind him as James steps up and eyes your unusually angry expression, “what did you do this time, Pads?”
“I-I don’t know…” his normally confident, unwavering voice stutters and is offered cautiously, almost scared despite the tattooist standing a good few inches taller than you. 
Finding some confidence, you square your shoulders and address Remus again but keep your glare focused on Sirius, “Why don’t you and James go on a snack run while I talk to Sirius?” you almost snap out the cheater’s name from spite. You can’t believe you ever deluded yourself into thinking he was a good person that could do no wrong. He’s charmed you, Remus and James, tricked all three of you and you weren’t going to stand for it. 
The two boys jokingly wish their friend ‘good luck’ as they walk past and head out, promising to get his favourites so he can nurse his wounds from the verbal beat-down he was about to receive with something yummy. It’s clear that James and Remus don’t really believe you’re capable of delivering much vengeance or rage but the fire in your eyes tells Sirius otherwise. As soon as the front door closes behind the two, you push Sirius back into the private tattoo room before he could utter a single word. 
“You need to explain yourself, Sirius Orion Black and you need to do it now!” you demand, your voice harsh and biting, something you’ve never done in front of the boys before and catches the traitor, in your eyes, by complete surprise. Sirius doesn’t know what he’s done but he already feels incredible guilt and sorrow over it. He’s never wanted to draw out such a horrid emotion out of you; you’re only allowed to feel happiness and love and comfort. Not this. Never this…
“I-I don’t understand, princess—” he reaches for you but you step away from his touch, your piercing glare and obvious rejection stabbing a knife through his chest. You’ve never pulled away from his reach before, he’s not used to this. What did he do? He would take it all back, whatever he did, if it meant that you would lean into his touch again rather than pull away. He’d do anything to quash the evident flames of rage in your eyes. What did he do?... What did he do goddamnit?! 
“I saw it! I saw everything! You’re playing both of them!” you shout, your rage lashing out and scorching him with their intense heat. There was no holding you back, you told him everything, about how you saw his kiss with Remus and James. His eyes widen in shock before filling with horror, which does nothing but corroborate your heart breaking revelations, “I don’t want to believe it! How could you do this to them, Siri?...” your shouting voice slowly quietens and tapers off at the end, quivering like a shaken autumn leaf. So heartbroken over the fact, your rage quickly turns into sorrow and tears quickly fill your eyes, “You’re better than that, I know you are!” and you really do. No matter how betrayed you feel and having witnessed the evidence first hand, you cling onto the little slither of faith you still had in Sirius, “Please tell them the truth, they deserve the truth… they deserve you being forthcoming with them because they’re good guys,”
Looking on at you, Sirius feels his heart break. This misunderstanding was tearing you up inside and, although it makes him happy to know that you would confront him and be angry for the boys at his supposed betrayal, watching you break down, and sob uncontrollably made Sirius’ heart twist and clench uncomfortably— painfully so. 
Without a word, he reaches out again and is able to bring you into his arms. You don’t return the gesture but you make no effort to push him away either. 
“Shhh Shhh Shhhhhh, darling…” Sirius whispers comfortingly, softly patting your hair as he waits for your sobbing to calm down enough for him to come clean. Scrap the plan, whatever bullshit plan they came up with to slowly ease you into accepting their relationship before selfishly asking for your love as well. He wasn’t going to let you continue misunderstanding their relationship, especially when it’s causing you so much pain, “...this is all a big misunderstanding…” he begins softly once your cries were finally reduced to soft sniffles, “do you know what polyamory is, sweetheart?”
“...n-no…”
“It’s when more than two people agree to be in a loving, romantic relationship with each other, all at the same time,” he explains in the same soft voice, his arms never pulling away from you as he feels you slowly lose your grip on resistance. 
“Is…is that…”
“Yes, that’s the relationship James, Remus and I are all a part of…” he looks down with a gentle smile and watches you peek up at him curiously. Sirius resists the urge to swoop down and pepper your face with kisses. Just when he thought his love for you couldn’t grow any bigger, here you were being the sweetest, most caring and lovable little thing he’s ever laid eyes on. 
However, you slowly begin to shake your head and the resistance in your eyes and expression returns. This time you push him away and keep him at arm's reach. Like a scared prey animal being cornered by a predator, you inch your way back until you're pressing yourself against the wall beside the door. It takes Sirius two steps forward to finally stop and keep his place so that you don’t feel pushed or stressed by his presence. 
“I-I won’t believe you until James and Remus say so…” 
He shrugs and gives you a pained smile. He supposes he can’t blame you for being cautious and not believing him, he’s the apparent ‘cheater’, afterall. 
You watch Sirius part his lips to voice something when you hear the parlour door open and rush into the hallway to see James and Remus walk in. The two were grinning cheekily at each other and their arms were piled high with an assortment of snacks. They held true to their promise; you could spot many of Sirius’ favourites among the pile and it made your stomach twist uncomfortably. 
As soon as the two look up and see your dishevelled form, your eyes pink and tearful, your bottom lip wobbling from restrained cries and your frame closed up like a frightened clam, the snacks are carelessly disregarded and they rush to your side. 
“Dove?” Remus calls, worry evident in his voice as he steals a glance at Sirius over your trembling shoulder. The response he was given — tight lips, drawn into a straight line and unreadable eyes — wasn’t enough, however and his chocolate pools hardened into brown stone. What. Did. You. Do?... Remus silently interrogated the tattooist.
“What happened, angel?” James immediately wraps his arms around you and you almost melt into his hold if it weren’t for your need to clarify everything dominating your thoughts. 
“Are you and Remus in a relationship with Sirius?” your hesitant voice, small and fraying at the edges, speaks up but barely above a whisper. The two men visibly stiffen beside you and you feel a well of tears quickly building up again; your thoughts immediately jumping to the worst possible outcome. 
“Tell her the truth. Give her peace of mind, lads,” Sirius speaks up, his own voice lacking its usual confidence and was reduced to a vulnerable softness. 
“Yes,” Remus affirms after a beat of silence. 
“We’re all consenting, we all love each other, mutually!” James pipes up, his tone bordering on defensive despite not knowing what he’s their relationship defending from, “You…you don’t think of us differently do you?”
“No! No no no! Of course not,” you quickly elucidate your thoughts, your shoulders relaxing as you turn and meet eyes with Sirius, mustering a small smile, “it’s actually quite a relief,”
Grinning softly, Sirius steps up to explain the situation, “Dollface over here thought that I was cheating on you and James with each other, Rem,” he chuckles softly, amusement in his eyes though it still lacked their full brightness, “she gave me a good shouting to and looked like she was ready to bite my head off if I didn’t ‘come clean’ to both of you,” Remus laughs and pulls Sirius into a sideways hug as James coos lovingly at you. 
“You got angry for us, angel?” James presses his face into your hair and nuzzles you affectionately, “you’re the sweetest~” he coos, his smirk growing as he feels an embarrassed heat radiating off your cheeks. 
“St-stop the James,” you whine with an awkward smile and wiggle yourself out of his arms, avoiding his pouting lips because you know your resolve will melt away at the sight. It was confirmed. They were in a relationship, all three of them, with each other. You should be happy that Sirius wasn’t a cheater and still the wonderful man you saw him to be. But, no matter how happy you were for them, the twisting of your stomach and the gaping hole in your heart wasn’t easily fixable. 
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The following weeks, you maintained the friendship you had with the boys, who no longer felt the need to limit their intimate touches around you. However, whenever they tried to initiate affection with you, as per usual, once the innocent kiss on the temple and harmless hug was now fervently being rejected by you and pushed away. You had no intention of disrespecting their relationship, even if most acts of affection you exchanged as friends were innocuous. But, then again, it was also your way of protecting your already shattered heart. Yes, you could just stay away from them entirely but you had built such a strong friendship with them that it didn’t feel right to candidly pretend that you’ve never met them before. It’ll do more harm than the harm you were inflicting now…  
Ever the observant man that he was, Remus knew the instant reason behind your hesitation and was quick to reassure you the next time you were invited over for tea. 
“It’s really okay, sweetheart,” the tall brunette hums softly as James and Sirius agree from their own seats, “we’re okay with it and you aren’t going to come in between any of us, I promise you,”
Stubbornly, you shake your head, pulling a deep frown from all of them.
“Are you not comfortable with it?” James asks with uncertainty, his question and its potential implication is filled with enough dread to make even his two lovers stiffen up. 
You nod your head ‘yes’ and they slump in their rejection. It hurt to know that the revelation of their relationship had pushed you away when the basic nature of their affair meant more love for everyone. And they wanted it to include you… Their romance that led to such an abundance of love and promises of more was now paradoxically pushing you away. For once, they didn’t know what to do, not a single one of them could come up with any idea to resolve the ever-growing tension in your relationship. It was a rubber band ready to snap. 
“If you’re uncomfortable then we’ll respect that and keep our distance, touch-wise” Remus surrenders despite the heartbreak it gives him while Sirius shoots up and sends him an irate glare, one that Remus coldly returns. It wasn’t a question of their comfortability but yours, Sirius needed to regard that to the highest degree and Remus was all too ready to make him face the music. They can’t afford to lose you and if it meant that he needed to make the hard decisions then so be it.
“Thank you,”
“...do you not want to be around us anymore?” James speaks up, not necessarily taking things to their extremes but rather potential, future escalations. He’s seen it. In the days and weeks that followed the divulgence of their true relationship, bit by bit you have begun to pull away from them to the point where James can vividly see where the escalation of your behaviour will lead and it’s frightening. One day, you’ll just disappear and that terrifies him. 
“No no…” your weak defence, lacking true resolve, ignites a shock of terrorising fear in all three of them, their eyes shaking with trepidation. But you couldn’t see it because you couldn’t look at them, like a coward. Because that’s what you are — a coward. The heartbreak was chipping away at you. You thought you would be brave enough to see them happy together but you couldn’t. Because, not only were you a coward, but you were selfish too. Green with envy, you stewed in that awful, stomach-twisting, heart-aching, bitter-tasting, gut-wrenching feeling each time you saw every loving kiss, affectionate cuddle and sweetly whispered words. 
Throughout your friendship you grew to love each of them as more than a simple friend. You know it was wrong but they were all so charming in their own, unique way. They treated you sincerely, cared for you without any sinister, ulterior motives and they’ve successfully wormed their way into your life and heart, permanently. 
What was once something that brought you such joy, warmth and feelings of safety was now mercilessly ripping you apart. 
Their dynamic looked different to you now that you were looking through a different lens. They weren’t just close friends anymore, they were very much in love and have been romantically involved for a few years now — it was one of the first things you found out about their relationship. Its longevity was a testament to their unwavering love for each other and here you were, secretly, selfishly and salaciously hoping for your own slice of the love pie.  
How dare you…
Just because you’ve had such bad luck with love didn’t mean you had the right to wish for something that couldn’t possibly become yours. You have no right to ask them for love when they are completely content with their own.  
“Please don’t push us away, dollface,” Sirius begs softly, his steel grey eyes melting into a pool of mercury. Beautiful but poisonous. Something you want but can’t have. 
“I’m sorry,” you’re breathless when you see the genuine fear in their eyes and turn away from the sight. This isn’t the time to turn weak at the knees, “it’s getting pretty late, I should go,” shouldering your bag, you get up and rush to leave their flat. 
“Stay,” Remus half commands and half begs, almost stopping you in your tracks, “please stay… we need to talk to you about something important,” if there was any time for them to reveal the truth, it was now. Before they lose you, before they drown themselves in regret, before they fall into a pit of despair, before they—
“I’m sorry…” you repeat and, just as James feared, you disappear. 
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A/N : this took such a long while to write but i wanted it to be perfect, thank you so much for requesting this darling @thepunisherfrankcastle it fit perfectly into the plot although i did make some slight altercations to your request. unfortunately, there's still more to go after this so i'm going to have to leave you darlings with a cliffhanger, look out for part 5! (˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
→ NEXT. : 05 | DRUNK AND CIGARETTE SMOKE
NAVI. | HEROES IN TATTOOS M.LIST
TAGLIST : @melinajenkins @aastonishment @until-i-found-you @corp0real @sageskisses444 @celestcies @lovelydoveval @inlovewithremusjohnlupin @calums-betch @futurecorps3 @hihihi1112 @simpingforthe80s @yrluvjane @chaosofmanyfandoms @storyofaromance @loving-and-dreaming @somewereinthegalaxi @ashreblogsficshere @cassandra-nerezza-black @stray-bi-kids @ttkttt @notasadgirlipromise @ghostgardn @mess-is-my-aesthetic @susyelectra @fangirlninja67 @pagesfalling @thepunisherfrankcastle @axeofwars @imarimon @in-love-with-4-marauders @chicken-taco-burrito @valencia-rou @feast0nmeee @lestat-whore @hvmxjjk @twilightlover2007 @diaryofabiwoman @woohoney @celestialfantasiess @willbedecided @lovelyygirl8 @iiirhiane-g @mangodamochiii @queerqueenlynn @l3xiluve @brain-has-left @bunbunbl0gs @kneelforloki @citrusiove @virtualbuni @awkward-d3rs3-dr3amer @that1nerd-20 @wolfstar4everbitches @skepvids @dearmy-diary @littledollfacebaby @mylifeisnothing @em16cor @krazyk99 @imdoingbetternow @realalpacorn @remussbitch @swiftieeras1989 @lonely-nerd-sodaholic TAGLIST CLOSED
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shinjisdone · 6 months
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When You Have An Secret Admirer - And Everybody Thinks It's Them (1; Heartslabyul)
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A love letter was left at your door and now you are searching for that 'secret admirer' - everyone wants to help you out...but have their own reason for it. Yet now, it seems like there are quite a few misunderstandings on campus...and everyone thinks they have finally found that secret admirer.
Spin-off of the first 'secert admirer' series + form of headcanons
note: reader is gender-neutral but mostly mentioned in 2. pov; a series of everyone being mistaken for the secret admirer. headcanon will follow each char. own thoughts on the situation.]
"Hey...you think he could be the famous admirer of the Ramshakle prefect?"
2; Savanaclaw
3; Octavinelle
Ace Trappola
The first time Ace has heard of such whispers was when he was with you out in the hallways.
Students on the other side whispering amongst themselves, a clique subtly pointing at him...and eavesdropping on their suspicions...
"...You guys think its Trappola? He's always hanging around with the prefect ever since day one..."
Man, Ace was so close to spitting out his drink.
Did he just hear this right? Wait, wait, whoa, whoa, wait! He...didn't hear that just now, did he?
"Yeah, can't be anyone else. Have you seen how he looks at them?"
Oh no, he did right.
...Ha! Haha! Seriosuly? No way, does just...everyone in campus believe such crap? Haha, it can't be...
Though he tries to brush it all off, Ace quickly ushered you away from the hallways and anywhere where there wasn't a single soul. He couldn't bare to hear more.
But, seriously? Nah. No, no, no waaaay could...could Ace pull such cringy, gushy stuff. No one could seriously think he would even write a love letter, right?
Pfff, no. Ace isn't the type to even be capable of getting some notes for alchemy class right, or, or to get some flyin' mirror from somewhere, let alone steal roses from his own dorm. Have you seen how angry Riddle gets?
Totally in denial. Well, he is not that oh-so-great secret admiiiireeer, so what is there to deny? Nothing, that's what!
There are certainly a bunch of students that doubt he would and could do that...but others only believe it more.
The trickster Trappola. Your best friend who always looks out for you, always sticks with you even if he gets himself in trouble and seems to always look at you a certain way...
After all, guys tease those they like, right?
The whsipers get louder and louder throughout the week and Ace is visibly getting uneasy. You note and tell him how more fidgety and sweaty he seems recently but he brushes it all off with a scoff and a joke as usual.
He tried to think of a way to end this gossip...or at least escape it. But Ace will not ever think of avoiding you just for some stupid rumors. He is your friend, your best friend and he isn't gonna be a chicken and disappear into thin air just some idiots cannot tell the obvious - that Ace just isn't that romantic.
Would you like him to be more romantic...?
Alas, one day in the dorm, a few students approach him and directly ask him if he is the admirer. They may not have evidence but considering how the ace of hearts hangs around you like a leech, there is no other way that he doesn't like you.
Ace cracks an nervous grin and shrugs it all off despite pearls of sweat running down his face and tainting his jacket. Pff, whuat? Crazy such a claim, crazy he says! How deeply wounded he is by this suspicion!
Ace is honest and says, hey, he ain't the admirer. He ain't the romantic type either, he's just looking out for you, you know? Like the good classmate that he is.
A few believe that he is incapable of doing such acts and that it wouldn't fit his character at all. Though, that does not deter many to think that he does hold some feelings for you with how he is acting...
It just makes him more nervous.
Deuce Spade
Deuce coughed and cleared his throat the first time he heard such rumors at his club. Jack offered him water.
H-H-H-Huh??? WH-Wh-What, him? Him, Deuce Spade being your secret admirer?! Why would anyone think that?!
Genuinely baffled and surprised at this conclusion a few of his classmates came up with. How could he, Deuce, ever...be considered something close to a secret admirer?
But once he hears a few 'theories' his face is blooming a bright and deep red.
Constantly at your side? Protecting you in the smallest of ways like a hero? Giddy like a kid in a candy store when he gets praise from you? The thought of an ex-delinquent protecting and caring for someone being the ultimate proof that he is in love?!
L-L-L-Love?
H-Hold up! That can't be right! Deuce cares for you and you are his bestie but...! It isn't, it can't be...!
Too dumbfounded and embarrassed to do anything in the beginning. The thoughts and rumors of him even having feelings for you and people believing him to have done the things the admirer did, are constantly swirling in his mind. Day and night.
It's all getting too much...until only a handful of people approach him and ask.
Others back up in fear. "Hey, man, watch out! If you say anything wrong about his partner, the delinquent guy will beat you black and blue!"
WHAT
DELINQUENT GUY? P-P-PARTNER?!
Well, they are right, if someone were to hurt you, he would beat them up.
BUT ITS NOT ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.
With the biggest blush on his face and back straight as a candle, Deuce seems like an upright, studious boy who loudly corrects them, saying it's all not true! Y-You are just his best f-friend!
The gossip affects him so much that he comes running to you, lips in a nervous but tight line, eyes as big as a deers and face blooming like a rose.
"I AM NOT YOUR SECRET ADMIRER!"
Unwittingly he blurts out but softly tells you of the rumors right after. He just doesn't want there to be a misunderstanding.
He fiddles with his fingers, quietly continuing; "Because, uhm...if I did like you like that...I'd be more direct with you than that admirer could ever be."
Cater Diamond
Eh, what? Cater? And being a secret admirer?
Hah! That is almost cute and flattering! But, uh...well, a bit embarrassing, too...
Some argue of how he always calls you 'cute' or wants to take selfies with you...but he does so with everyone.
Yet Cater has a tendency to call you his 'favorite, cute juniour' just like Trey.
Cater is one actually able to laugh it all off genuinely - but at the same time he does not deny any of these claims. Yeah, you are super cute and have they seen these pics? They must have with how many hearts they got on Magicam~
He isn't gonna go around telling people that he fancies you but he is sure to casually tell them, no, he isn't the admirer. Very flattering (and bold) that you assume that though!
Will straight up go to you and say the obvious. He is not, in fact, your dear, darling admirer but that doesn't mean he doesn't admire you at all~
Trey Clover
Uhm???
Trey laughed sheepishly, hiding his blush under his hat.
This isn't...That's not right!
Everytime he'd hear a whisper, he unwittingly gets nervous. The thought of him doing the admirer's deeds...and even worse, people believing him to be them!
It's stress and drama he didn't ask for.
Although it is kinda a nice thought...while the actions of the admirer, the gifts and confessions of love are too embarassing for Trey, the thought of him making you fluster and blush is nice...
Very nice.
With a sigh, he shakes the thought of. He isn't them. No matter how much he wishes he was.
So with a sheepish grin and a bit of a stutter he clears his name. Riddle would have his head if he did any of these things!
With a ruffle of your hair he confesses. Don't worry, he isn't lovesick. He just likes you normally.
Riddle Rosehearts
SPITS OUT HIS TEA
Excuse him?! What did he just hear?! Doesn't matter if it was not meant for him to hear, off with your head! ITS OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!
So...absurd! There's no way such gossip is being spread in his dorm, is it?! Riddle already once had an awful reputation. There's no need for one made out of lies!
...Even if the image of him writing love letters and handing you gifts does fit him...Riddle would never steal from his own dorm!
He would never cause such a wreck as that "secret admirer" has. It's insulting to compare Riddle to them, lest even think he IS them!
Though he hears of the rumors, no one has the gall to approach him. That doesn't stop his anger as he gets more and more agitated everytime he even hears your name slip off someone's lips.
"The Housewarden totally favors them, after all..."
"He invites them to Unbirthday parties all the time."
"And acts like a gentleman then!"
Red, red, red. Riddle's face blooms in a deep crimson but it isn't blood rushing to his head in anger, it is a blush of embarassment.
Each one of them is right.
He cannot take his feelings being dangled in front of his face like that. It's all so, so true but he shall never admit it.
Riddle will have to clear his name it seems for all of this to stop.
It's difficult - not many believe him considering how agitated he becomes at the topic, at the mention of you.
Yet he managed to calm the crowd...all there was left was to tell you the truth as well.
"Im sure youve heard of it," he began dryly even as he tried to hide his blush. "But you know me and I would never callously break the rules like that just to...confess. No."
He then turned to you, his voice firmer and eyes softer. "If I wanted to court you, I'd do it in a way you deserve."
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unclewaynemunson · 6 months
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Something nameless is growing between Steve and Eddie. Steve wonders how long it'll take until this thing has a name, but for now, it's enough that it's just something. Something good. Something just for them. A secret of the most delicious kind.
He doesn't necessarily want to lie to Dustin, of course, but he doesn't really know what else to do. Not as long as this thing between him and Eddie is still nameless and Dustin is basically cornering him in the Hawkins High parking lot, way too enthusiastic about the fact that he's there to pick up Nancy.
'No, it's not a date, you little shrimp,' he repeats for what feels like the millionth time. And that statement couldn't be more true: he and Nancy are long past their weird post-breakup-end-of-the-world confusion. It's been good to reconnect with her and he's glad that they can truly be good friends, now.
Dustin shoots him an unimpressed glare and Steve groans in frustration when the boy opens his mouth to retort.
'I'm actually seeing someone else,' he says before Dustin can speak again. If he has to hear him say one more time that he should date either Nancy or Robin, he might actually punch him in the face. And he doesn't want to do that. Not really.
Dustin gasps.
'Why didn't you tell me?!'
'Because you're being annoying as shit about my love life,' Steve shoots back.
Dustin already opens his mouth for some smartass reply, but they get interrupted by a high-pitched scream. Steve whips his head only to find Eddie dramatically running towards them, limbs flailing and a huge grin on his face.
'Stevie!' he shouts out while crashing into Steve like a cannonball. Steve huffs, but is all too happy to catch him in his arms. He knows he shouldn't let his touch linger too long, not with Dustin right there, but it's really fucking difficult to pull back within an appropriate timeframe.
'What are you doing here?' Eddie looks hopeful, like he's suspecting that Steve came to the school for him.
'I'm meeting Nancy,' he admits, feeling almost guilty about it.
'He was just telling me about this girl he's seeing!' Dustin exclaims. 'Can you believe he didn't tell me? Did you know about this, Eddie?'
Eddie's smile falls off his face within a split second, and he takes a stumbling step backwards.
'You're seeing a girl?' His voice has gone cold. Betrayal shines from his big brown eyes.
'Eddie,' Steve starts, but he doesn't know what else to say – not with Dustin standing right there and hearing every word of their conversation.
'Go fuck yourself, Harrington.' He spits the words out and turns around, leaving Steve frozen and Dustin open-mouthed.
'Eddie, wait!' Steve calls out behind him, but Eddie only throws his arm up to flip him off, without looking back.
'Shit, fuck, damnit,' Steve mumbles under his breath as he runs after Eddie.
'Eddie, listen.' He grabs his leather-clad arm, but Eddie breaks himself free from Steve's grip with force. He finally looks at Steve again, tears in his eyes.
'I don't wanna hear it,' he says with a trembling voice as he reaches his van and climbs inside.
'But Dustin was–'
'Dustin was pretty damn clear.'
'No, it's all a –'
But Eddie slams the door shut while the word misunderstanding dies on Steve's tongue unheard. Steve watches helplessly how Eddie roughly wipes a hand over his face, puts his keys in the ignition as if he's stabbing someone, and drives off.
'Steve, what the fuck,' Dustin's voice says; when Steve looks to his right, he sees that Dustin has appeared next to him. 'He thought you were his friend! Why didn't you tell him about your girl?' It sounds accusatory, and Steve can't fucking deal with this right now.
'Why didn't you shut your goddamned big mouth for once in your life?' he snaps at him.
Dustin's eyes go wide with the surprise of Steve talking to him with that much venom in his voice; it's clear that he finally realizes he did something wrong.
'Steve, I – I didn't mean to – I didn't know he'd get mad!'
Steve sighs, long and heavy.
'Go home, Henderson,' he says stiffly.
He wishes that the genuinely apologetic look on Dustin's face would be enough to make it all good, but it isn't. Not as long as he still has the look in Eddie's eyes when he drove away burnt on his retina.
'I'm sorry, Steve.' And with slumped shoulders, Dustin turns around and trudges towards the bike racks.
Update: you can read pt2 here
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sorrelchestnut · 7 months
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I've seen a fair number of posts both here and on reddit that question why Tav (or the Dark Urge) would end up as a group leader for any other reason that "game mechanics say so." There's the requisite "okay, well if you play a high charisma character I guess it makes sense," or on the other end of the spectrum, "if you're playing Durge and murder someone right off the bat everyone would be too scared to tell you no." And I get where people are going with this! I really do. But it also fundamentally misunderstands a facet of human nature, which is that the vast majority of people do not actually want to be in charge, because that means being held responsible for the outcome. Accordingly, most people will dither when a group consensus is needed: have none of you ever tried to get a group of friends to agree where to go for dinner? Yeah, it's like that, but waaaay worse.
A lot of times "leadership" is just the willingness to say, "fuck it, y'all do what you want, but I'm doing this." I see it all the time in a corporate environment, where people will go back and forth on group meetings without anyone making a decision until finally one brave soul goes "in my opinion the clear answer is x" and then everyone gratefully goes along with it. Because now it's not their responsibility when something goes wrong! They're just following along with someone else's suggestion, and maybe it works or maybe it doesn't, but at the end of the day they don't have to worry about the consequences unless they're personally affected. In which case they might step up and argue back, and then they're stuck being a leader, too. Welcome to adulthood!
Lae'zel is the only one who ever even tries to exert some kind of control, when she tells you to follow her lead on the ship, or calls you her subordinate in the Grove. But, crucially, she doesn't ever make any serious attempt to take control: you can just tell her, "lol, no," and she sort of confusedly gives way, because she doesn't know how to handle this scenario. In her world there are commanders and subordinates, and everyone knows where they stand and falls in line. She's never actually had to take control of a situation and so at the first sign of resistance she falls back on the dynamic that's familiar to her, which is executing the commands of someone older and more experienced. She goes through a lot of growth over the game, to the point that she can take over as a resistance leader in her own right by the end, but at the beginning she's a wet-behind-her-ears private with some decent combat chops and it shows.
Otherwise, your party consists of:
Shadowheart, who's trained in infiltration and assassination and does NOT want a lot of attention brought to her or her mission for a variety of reasons;
Astarion, who has literally been a slave for two centuries and canonically takes a while to realize that he can exert an opinion beyond complaining about it;
Gale, whose only friend is his cat and couldn't project-manage his way out of a wet paper bag;
Wyll, who was probably trained for command at one point but has been doing the lone-hero thing for a decade and has a very large secret that he's trying to conceal; and,
Karlach, who's only ever been a bodyguard and a soldier and is genuinely just happy to be here.
Honestly, it would be more a surprise if Tav/Durge didn't end up as their unofficial leader, given the general power dynamics at play. The first time Tav/Durge says something like, "fuck it, we need to do something instead of stand around arguing about it, let's go check out those ruins over there," it's a done deal. They're The Captain Now! As long as they don't make decisions that fundamentally oppose something dear and important to the other group members, they're not even going to get any argument. Because at the end of the day, not one of these walking disasters has enough trust in themselves and their decision-making skills to feel any kind of certainty that they can choose the right path forward. If someone else is going to take that decision out of their hands? They're going to follow, no questions asked, right up until the moment they can't.
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cosmicbucky · 6 months
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verity
summary: an inadvertently broken heart and a girls' night in can only lead to one thing: you drunkenly confronting the very man who broke your heart in the first place - aka your best friend, bucky barnes pairing: bucky barnes x female reader word count: 3253
warnings: angst, alcohol consumption, reader gets drunk with friends, pet names, sad bucky, sad reader, drunk confessions, swearing, misunderstandings, reader gets sick (vomit), fluff, kinda friends to lovers (??)
《《《《 ♡ 》》》》
The music flowed through the living room around you, quiet enough to not overpower the conversations you were having with your friends, but loud enough for you to know what you were swaying in your seat to. 
It had been a while since you had a girls' night, though you were all but forced into this one; it was made clear by Nat that your presence was not an option - you were the only reason you were all gathered here now, each of you at least a bottle or two in. 
At first you resisted. You wanted nothing more than to wallow alone in your room, watching trash TV and crying over cheesy scenes. It wasn't that you didn't love the company you had right now, you just wanted other company. You wanted the same company you had every day for the last year. The same company that became your only solace ever since it took a literal bullet for you without thought just to keep you safe. The same company that read your favourite books so you had someone to talk to about them. The same company that sat with you and watched all your favourite shows so they could get a better glimpse of who you are and what you like. The same company you thought you were finally getting somewhere with. 
It felt like you got hit by a truck when the words "You know Bucky's been dating?" nonchalantly left Sam's mouth one day while you were having lunch. You didn't want to know more about it. You didn't want to know who they were, how the two met, or what they did for a living. You didn't want to be told anything other than the fact Sam was joking, that what you thought you had with Bucky really was real and not just in your head. Sam never said anything close to that, though. 
Bucky never brought up the dates to you, and you almost felt that was even worse than if he did. Why did he not want to tell you? Were you really not as close as you thought? Did he not trust you enough to tell you such a thing? Your thoughts continuously spiraled over the next few days, stealing away your self confidence and the air from your lungs. Nothing was the same anymore. You thought you knew where you stood with Bucky. You thought it all meant something. All the stares from across the room, the lingering touches, the 'just because' gifts, the movie nights, the sleepovers, all of it. But it meant nothing. You read it all wrong. And now it's been two weeks since you were able to look at him long enough for you to even say hi to him, let alone have a conversation with him. 
Bucky noticed the shift the moment it happened; when you slid ever so slightly away from him when he tried to hold you in his arms like he did every movie night. He noticed when the smile stopped reaching your eyes. He noticed when you stopped showing up for dinners with the gang every night. He noticed when you couldn't hold his gaze anymore. He noticed that you two just weren't the same, and it killed him. It killed him because he didn't know what he did, and he tried everything under the sun to get things back to the way they were, but nothing worked.
Everyone noticed when his demeanor changed. His fuse was shorter, his temper was stronger. He spent even more time in the training room, pummeling and destroying bag after bag until his knuckles were bloody; letting himself heal overnight only to do it all again the next day. He shamelessly threw a dining chair into a wall when Tony made a joke about how you must have smartened up and finally got sick of him, and his expression was so murderous that a Code White was called, effectively resulting in him being locked down in his room for a full 24 hours - he ended up staying in there even after the lockdown was over. The only reason he started leaving the confines of his room was to spend time with his best girl, and he didn't have that anymore.
All your friends were sick of it. They didn't know what was going on, and you both refused to talk about it. No one could even mention the others' name to either of you anymore without fear of having the nearest object thrown at their head. 
So plans were formed, and you now sat on the couch with a glass in your hand as you mindlessly swayed to whatever song was currently playing. 
"Who is in charge of this music? It is awful!" Yelena stated from her spot on the floor, taking yet another shot. 
"I picked it," you crooned, stilling your movements as you looked at her. "It's completely free of attachments to you-know-who."
A cohesive muttering came from all the women before you, and Yelena cleared her throat. "It is not bad," she corrected with a grimace, taking pity on you. 
"Are you drunk enough to tell us what happened now?" Nat asked, raising an eyebrow at you. 
Downing the rest of your glass, you looked at her with a thoughtful expression for a minute. "No," you concluded, filling your glass again. 
"Okay, this is torture. Time for a drinking game!" Wanda exclaimed, standing from her chair. "Everyone take a mustache and tape it to the TV. We're putting on a trash show and drinking whenever it lines up with someone."
You beamed with excitement, ready to both watch crappy TV and get drunk - gods know you needed at least one night to forget about Bucky. 
And forget you did. You can't remember the last time you were this far gone, the last time you had this much fun. The drinking game was very successful; it even got Yelena and Nat a little tipsy, which was not easy to do. No one said anything when you went a little harder than everyone else, when you drank a little more, taking shots when you weren't technically supposed to. You haven't smiled like this in weeks, and they weren't going to take that away from you. 
Your giggles carried on down the hallway, the echoes of your voice, of your laughter, music to everyone's ears - having gone so long now without hearing it. It captured someone's attention, socked feet being dragged towards the sound before even knowing what was happening, a seat being taken in the kitchen just to be that much closer, eyes gazing across at you, a face with such an amorous expression it would have made anyone who saw it sick. 
You audibly gasped as you caught sight of him, your eyes meeting his for the briefest of seconds before he looked away, contemplating whether he should go back to his room or not. 
"Oh, my god. Why is he here?" you asked the girls, unable to take your eyes off of him. 
"Why is who here?" Kate asked, following your gaze. "Him? What are you talking about he-"
"We don't know!" Nat chimed in, sending a warning glare to Kate that you were too distracted to see. 
"Why don't you go talk to him and find out?" Wanda suggested, quickly catching on to Nat's motive. 
You shook your head vehemently, making yourself momentarily dizzy. "Noooo. He broke my heart, Wan. What would I even say?" you replied with a whine, sinking into the couch as you lifted the glass to your lips again. 
She shared a look with Nat, two looks that said 'fuck, maybe we shouldn't let her do this' and 'what the hell does she mean by that?' You couldn't decipher either, though. The blood was rushing in your ears as you stared across the room again, torn between going to confront this beautiful, asshole of a man and staying in the comfort of the living room.
Before you could really think it through - and in your state, it's not like you really could anyway - you abruptly stood from the couch, taking a few seconds to steady yourself on your feet. 
"Fuck him," you muttered to yourself, vaguely aware of the girls trying to get your attention as you marched across the floor. 
His head snapped up when he heard you coming, his enhanced hearing paired with the fact you weren't exactly in a graceful state didn't give you the advantage of sneaking up on him. 
"Hi, doll," he said once you approached him.
Had you been in a more collected frame of mind, you probably would have noticed how quiet his voice was, how strained it was from the fact he was holding his breath in the hopes the two of you would go back to normal. You would have noticed the pain, the hurt, the confusion, and the hope dancing around in his eyes; making the blue that used to be your favourite colour now dull and stormy. 
You didn't notice, though. All you noticed was the burning pain in your heart that was supposed to be gone after all those drinks, but just one look at the man before you brought everything back. 
"You can't call me that anymore," you declared, shaking your head so much it made the room spin even more. "You gotta keep that name reserved now," you added bitterly. 
"Reserved?" Bucky asked, his brow knit together in confusion. "For who?" 
You scoffed, walking forward to close the distance that was left between you and the table he sat at. A few steps in and you lost your footing, but before you could even stumble Bucky was already out of his seat. His hands were on your arms in an instant, the feeling of hot and cold both burning your skin in a familiar way. The tenderness of his touch and the yearning you felt for it after all this time was almost too much to bear; your mind was spinning. Spinning from alcohol. Spinning from heartache. Spinning from anger. Spinning, spinning, spinning. 
"Let go of me!" you exclaimed angrily, shrugging yourself out of his grasp. "I don't think your little lover would want you touchin' me." 
Bucky could only stand there, blinking in surprise with his hands still outstretched. "My what?" he asked, his hands slowly falling back to his sides. "My lover?" he repeated. 
"Yeah, your lover - or… whatever the hell you want to call them. Sam told me, because you didn't," you told him indignantly. 
"I- what? Sam told you? Sam told you what?" he asked, more confused than ever. 
"That you're dating someone!" you yelled, the anguish clear in your voice. 
Bucky sighed and ran his hands over his face in exasperation before resting them on his hips, his lips pursed as he collected his thoughts. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he finally asked, trying to put the pieces together in his head. 
"Didn't expect me to know, did you?" you spat furiously. 
"I don't- sweetheart, what the hell is going on?" he asked softly, trying his best to remain patient. You were finally talking to him again, and it's definitely not the way he imagined but he'd be damned if he was going to let you slip through his fingers again. 
"No!" you said forcefully. "I'm not your sweetheart. She is. Whoever she is." 
"There is no ‘she’," Bucky told you calmly, trying his hardest to make sense of what was going on. 
"Okay, then he is!" you replied in defeat, finally throwing yourself down on the chair beside you. 
"What? No, that's not-" he tried to answer you, but you quickly cut him off. 
"Why didn’t you want to tell me?" you asked quietly, your voice cracking. 
“Because… I’m not dating anyone,” he replied slowly, more of a question than a statement. 
“Just stop lying!” you yelled, hands slamming onto the table. “Please, I can’t take you lying to me anymore, okay? You’ve been lying to me all year,” you added in desperation, your eyes starting to glisten with tears. 
“All year?” he asked, his voice quiet and shaky as he slid into the seat across from you. 
You could only nod your head, bottom lip trembling as the first tears started to fall down your cheeks. Bucky started burning from the inside out, wanting nothing more than to wrap you in his arms and kiss the tears away- but he couldn’t. So he stayed where he was, swallowing thickly as he willed himself not to start crying with you. 
“I never lied to you, you know that,” he said carefully. 
“You did, because this whole time you-... I really thought-... you made me think-” you couldn’t get the words out, falling silent as you tried to collect yourself.
Bucky instinctively reached his hands across the table to you before he caught himself, pulling them back and setting them on his lap. "What did I make you think?" 
"That you trusted me. That we meant something to each other," you explained softly, swallowing back more tears. "I thought you loved me back," you added, your voice so quiet it would have been inaudible to anyone other than him. 
"What?" Bucky breathed out, the air being stolen from his lungs with those last six words that spilled from your trembling lips. 
"I know you heard me." 
"Okay- now is not the time for this conversation," he sighed, running his hands over his face. 
You sat in silence for a moment, looking at him with such an recognizable expression Bucky felt like he was looking at a completely different person. "Figures," you muttered before shoving your chair back and standing up. 
"What are you doing?" Bucky asked, half out of his seat as he watched to make sure you were steady on your feet. 
Without another word to him, you turned and carefully started to make your way out of the kitchen and towards your bedroom. 
"Don't you dare walk away from me!" Bucky called from behind you, quickly on your heels. "No, you're not allowed to leave me like this again." 
"You left me first!" you yelled back, placing your hand on the wall to keep your balance as you walked a little faster. 
"I never left you once!" he argued, still hot on your trail. 
You scoffed, shoving open the door to your room and trying to slam it in his face; the attempt was unsurprisingly futile. "Stop following me, you said you don't want to talk."
"No, I said this isn't the time for this conversation," he huffed, shoving his way into your room and closing the door behind him. 
"Why? You don't want to admit what you did?" you asked, stumbling your way to sit on the bed. 
"For fucks sake, I didn't even do anything!" he defended with exasperation, leaning against the door.
"Yes you did," you argued, attempting to take off your sweater. 
"I'm telling you, I didn't," he told you, trying his best to not let out a laugh as he watched you struggle to lift the sweater over your head. 
"You did!" you yelled, voice muffled by the fabric. "You lied, and you kept secrets, and you - god, can you fucking help me?!" you asked with a huff, interrupting your own rant. 
Bucky suppressed his laugh as he stepped forward, kneeling down in front of you. "Alright, alright. Stop fuckin' squirmin'," he muttered. 
You stilled, muttering a few choice words under your breath that did not go unnoticed by him. Grasping the hem of your sweater, he carefully lifted it up and over your head to reveal your disheveled, pouting face. 
"There's my girl," he whispered softly, delicately brushing back your mussed hair. 
"I'm not-" you started to argue, before he quickly cut you off.
"Yes. You. Are," he said firmly, enunciating each word.
"But Sam-"
"Is an idiot," he insisted, cutting you off again. "He tried to set me up with someone but I never went. When he asked me about it, I told him we were gonna go out again so he'd stop fucking bugging me about it. I lied, sweetheart. I was never dating anyone." 
"You- there was no one?" you asked quietly. 
"There was no one else," he told you, his thumbs brushing away stray tears you didn't even know were falling. 
Before you could ask him what that meant, your room started spinning once more and your mouth felt like cotton and your stomach felt like it was making its way up your throat.
"I don't feel so good," you mumbled, staring at him with wide eyes for a moment before rushing to your bathroom, barely making it on time. 
Bucky was at your side in the blink of an eye, holding back your hair as you let loose the contents of your girls' night, his hand ghosting up and down your back. He sat patiently with you, muttering comforting words between each second of you getting sick as you gasped for air and sobbed, occasionally wiping your face with tissues. 
"Better?" he asked after a few minutes, his hands never leaving you. 
You could only nod in response, shifting away from him to rest against the bathtub as you closed your eyes. 
Bucky immediately fell into his old habits, wasting no time in taking care of you. The only thing that destroyed him more than not having you in his life lately was watching you practically wither away, unable to do a damn thing about it. 
"Drink, sweet girl," he told you, caressing your cheek in an attempt to rouse you before handing you the water you had no idea he even retrieved. 
You blinked up at him, taking a moment to process what was going on before taking the glass from him. As you drank he gathered up a washcloth, running it under cold water before kneeling before you once more. 
"C'mere," he whispered, taking your chin in one hand to hold you in place as he gently wiped your face. Your eyes closed once more, sighing in content as the cold water eased the burning under your skin. 
"I love you," you found yourself telling him. Your voice was a delicate whisper, but the words were so heavy you felt like they echoed off the tiles surrounding you anyway. 
Bucky stayed quiet, but you refused to open your eyes and look at him. Looking at him would make this moment real, so as long as you kept your eyes closed, you could pretend none of this ever happened. 
"Let's get you to bed," he finally said, causing your world to implode once more. 
Completely defeated, you allowed him to lift you from the floor. 
Not having the energy to fight him anymore, you cooperated as he helped you into some sleep clothes. 
Wanting to just hide away forever, you let him tuck you under the covers, pressing a kiss to your forehead before he slid in beside you, wanting to be there in case you got sick again.
The room was engulfed by silence for so long it almost felt like it was suffocating you, but just before your whirling mind finally succumbed to the allure of sleep you heard Bucky's gentle voice speaking out to you.
"Sleep this off, angel. Because when I explain to you how in love with you I am, I want to make damn sure you can remember what I say."
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songbirddoodles · 2 years
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totally nuts completely cracked and frankly absolutely BONKERS whenever i see a fictional universe wherein, like, magic canonically exists and there’s all these different species and complex, intricate lore and worldbuilding, and somehow, some way, the one (1) gay character’s main plotline is STILL inevitably that they are gay and are suffering because of it. everything comes to a grinding halt while for them the minute they figure out they’re queer. it’s like, oh this guy can shoot fire out of his hands, yeah. there’s giant flying beasts all about and people can just go to different dimensions at will or something. but a world without homophobia? unimaginable. piss yourself now
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sailorholly · 17 days
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Between Us Pt. 3
Summary: You and Spencer had a casual relationship. A misunderstanding ruins it all.
Pairing: Spencer Reid × F. BAU Reader
Warnings: Friends with benefits. Pregnancy.
See my Masterlist Here
Part Two
The stomach bug you had caught was so strange. You would be perfectly fine, eating whatever you wanted for hours. Then a certain smell would hit you like a ton of bricks, sending you running to the nearest bathroom or trash can.
It had been two weeks and you were still puking your guts up randomly. You made an appointment with your doctor at the end of the week to make sure nothing was seriously wrong with you.
You and the team had to fly out to Colorado for a case. You were so exhausted, you could barely keep your eyes open on the trip there. Penelope texted you for the fiftieth time today checking on you. You insisted you were fine, you just couldn’t get rid of whatever illness you had.
Spencer and Ashley sat across from you, her hands playing with his unruly curls like you used to. When he looked at you, concern written all over his face after you puked in the bathroom, she grabbed his face, pressing a kiss to his lips. That act alone made your stomach turn. Thankfully, Hotch cleared his throat, shooting them a warning glance.
When you finally landed, you were alone with Spencer. Hotch paired you up often because you worked well together. “Are you okay? I’ve been worried about you. You vomited six times yesterday. You’re having trouble holding down anything but crackers and ginger ale. You took a nap on the way here. You’ve never done that.”
“I’m fine, Spencer. Don’t worry about me. You should be worrying about your little girlfriend getting you in trouble for PDA.” He scrunches up his nose. “Are you jealous?” You laugh at that. “No, I’m not. I feel like death, and I don’t want to argue with you. I just don’t want to see you sucking face right in front of me when I’m nauseous anyways. I want to solve this case so I can go home and lay down.” He tried not to bother you with frivolous questions the rest of the day.
The next morning, you felt great. Your skin was glowing, you took time to style your hair and do your makeup. When you walked in the local police station to start work, everyone complimented you. Everyone except for Ashley, who rolled her eyes and seemed annoyed that you didn’t have your hair in a rat’s nest pooled on top of your head with dark circles under your eyes.
You ate all three meals with the team without needing to vomit. You couldn’t believe it was finally over. You decided to call your doctor first thing in the morning to cancel your appointment.
Your joy was short lived, when the next morning you felt awful again. Luckily, you hadn’t called your doctor yet. The day went by quickly. Rossi came up with the information you needed to find the unsub. You slept the whole way home.
You check into the doctor’s office filling out form after form. When the nurse calls you back, she gives you a cup and sends you into the bathroom. You wait in the small room for the doctor. Your heart feels like it’s going to beat out of your chest while you wait for her to come in.
When she finally arrives, she checks your vitals, writing them down on your chart. “How long do I have?” You ask, only kind of joking. She smiles, placing her stethoscope around her neck. “You’re not dying. You’re pregnant! Congratulations! According to the information you gave us, it looks like you’re about six weeks. We will schedule an ultra sound for another time to give you a more accurate prediction.”
You start to tune her out as she continues speaking. Pregnant? How could this happen? You and Spencer were always so careful except… Your mind flashes with memories of that night. How his feverish hands were all over you. How he couldn’t wait to have you so he took you against the wall. How beautiful he thought you looked with his cum dripping out of you. Now those actions had consequences. How were you going to tell him?
Tags
@cindylynn @wheredafandomat @multifandom-worlds @loz-3 @megharat-barnes-reid @kats72 @mochie85 @cakesandtom @spenciesprincess @kimm4710 @tmilover1993 @nomajdetective @cynbx @comboboo @134340ona @wannabewolf @weirdothatwritess @silver-tongue-taken-to-bed @freegardenbanananeck @lover-of-books-and-tea @maybe-not-this @drewsandsebastianswife @lamentis-10 @lizzyk137 @hypotheticallyspeakingwitch @rosylnsworld @amortencjja @ah-blossom
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suuuupernovaaa · 1 year
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kame
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kame [ˈk·a.m·ɛ] vtr. see, see into, understand, know (spiritual sense)
Anonymous Request: Could we have something where Metkayina Reader is the chief's daughter, becomes good friends with Neteyam, and is in love with him but doesn't think he finds Metkayina women attractive because he doesn't seem interested in any of the girls, so she asks Lo'ak if he thinks she's pretty because he's also her friend but Neteyam overhears and gets upsets cause he misunderstands why she's asking? Pretty pretty please with a sweet sappy ending.
Feeling insecure about your crush on Neteyam, you ask his younger brother if he thinks Metkayina woman are attractive. Neteyam overhears and misunderstands.
1,978 words
Lo'ak and I had been sitting quietly on the beach for quite a while, watching the children play nearby as the clouds rolled in, promising rain.
As if reading my mind, Lo'ak pointed up. "Looks like rain."
I nodded. Talk of weather was nice, but what I really wanted to talk about was Lo'ak's older brother.
In the months since they'd arrived, I was unable to get Neteyam off of my mind - but I couldn't read him for the life of me. He was reserved, the oldest Sully brother, not like Lo'ak. Lo'ak wore his heart on his sleeve, lucky for my sister, who was equally enamored with the younger Sully brother.
Neteyam did not seem interested in any of the Metkayina women, and I wondered if our physical differences were unappealing to him. Was my hair too coarse, my tail too wide, my eyes too large?
It wasn't that Neteyam wasn't nice to me, I would even have considered us friends, but the possibility of more than that just didn't seem to be there.
"Lo'ak, do you find me attractive?" I asked finally.
Lo'ak turned to me sharply. "What?"
"I mean, Metkayina women. Do you think they're as pretty as your forest women? Your mother is breathtaking."
He wrinkled his nose at the statement, and then smiled.
"Yes. I think you're attractive," he replied. His reassurance should have comforted me, but it only made me more confused. If Lo'ak could find me attractive, why couldn't his brother?
"Not as attractive as my sister, though, yes?" I leaned over, a teasing smile on my face, bumping my shoulder into his.
Lo'ak sighed, the sound of a man in love. "No one is as beautiful as her."
What I wouldn't give to have Neteyam feel that way about me.
--
"Yes, I think you're attractive," Neteyam's brother said to Y/N, the woman he had been pining after for months.
Neteyam was approaching the two, planning to join them on the beach, but the snippet of their conversation he'd caught was enough to make him turn on his heels and stalk back to his mauri pod.
He felt betrayed by Lo'ak, even though he hadn't said so much as a whisper of his feelings for Y/N - mostly he felt mad for Y/N's younger sister, whom he'd thought his brother was growing close to.
Was Lo'ak to betray her? Was her own sister to betray her? Maybe Y/N was not the woman he thought she was, after all.
--
It began raining soon, and Lo'ak and I stood to leave the beach.
"I gotta ask," Lo'ak said as we walked back towards our respective homes. "Why the question - uh, about you being pretty?"
A blush heated my cheeks.
"It's Neteyam, isn't it?" he said, trying not to smile too wide. "You like Neteyam?"
I shrugged. "He doesn't seem interested, in any of the women here. I thought maybe he found us unappealing."
Lo'ak shook his head. "He's just shy. Give him time."
I wasn't so sure. We parted ways with a friendly goodbye, and I returned to my family for the evening with much to think about.
--
The next morning, the clouds had cleared and the day was beautiful. I set out early with Tsireya at my mother's request - she was wary of Lo'ak, and wanted Tsireya supervised at all times.
"I think Lo'ak is a nice young man," I told her as we waded into the water. "We had a nice talk last night."
She smiled, ear to ear, her beautiful smile. I had always wished I had Tsireya's sunny disposition and kind heart - she was a joy to everyone who knew her.
"What did you talk about?"
I looked away, blushing a little. "Neteyam."
She gasped, reaching out to grab my arm. "You like Lo'ak's brother?" She giggled with excitement.
"I asked Lo'ak if the women here were appealing to him. Of course, I know you are beautiful to Lo'ak, but I wondered if Neteyam maybe... thought I was ugly."
Tsireya gasped. "Y/N, you must never speak like that again. You are exceedingly beautiful, as well as smart, skilled, our fastest swimmer-"
I cut her off before she could continue on. "Sister, please."
"Well, it's true!" she replied forcefully. "If Neteyam does not like you, he's a moron."
We giggled together. Talking with my sister always made me feel better, no matter the issue.
--
Later that day, I happened upon Neteyam alone - as I had been looking for him nearly all day. Tsireya had given me the confidence I needed to try and really talk to him.
"Neteyam!" I called when I found him, swimming just off shore as I stood on the beach.
He raised one hand and waved to me, and began his approach. I stood waiting, fidgeting nervously with my hands as he came towards me at what felt like a snail's pace.
He shook his hair when he exited the water, and as usual, I was overcome with his beauty.
"Hello," Neteyam nodded, somewhat formally.
"I need to talk to you," I said quickly.
He cocked his head to the side. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing's wrong. I just... need to tell you something, and I have the courage to tell you now, but I probably won't later."
Neteyam shook his head. "I already know."
I took a step back in surprise. "You do?"
Did Lo'ak tell him? He wouldn't do that to me - he was my friend.
"I do. I have to say, Y/N, I thought better of you."
That was... not the response I was expecting. In fact, it didn't make sense at all. Me having feelings for him made him think less of me?
"Neteyam, I... what?"
"I thought you cared for your sister, and you know how she feels about Lo'ak." He was angry, his teeth gritted, his eyes narrowed. He was angry at me.
"Neteyam, what are you talking about?"
He scoffed. "I heard you at Lo'ak last night, him telling you how beautiful you are. How could the two of you do that to Tsireya?"
I had never seen Neteyam so angry, certainly not at me. He had heard a part of our conversation last night and assumed the absolutely worst - that I would betray my most beloved sister.
Tears filled my eyes. "I can't believe you would think this of me." Before I could embarrass myself any further, I turned and ran back home to cry in my father's arms.
--
He had expected to feel better after confronting Y/N, but she hadn't reacted the way Neteyam expected. Instead of feeling self-righteous, Neteyam felt confused and guilty as he returned home.
He sat silently at dinner, and though his family asked what was wrong, he shrugged them off.
He couldn't quite explain it.
"I can't believe you would think this of me."
What did she mean by that? He had heard her and Lo'ak's conversation with his own ears.
Speaking of, just as the sun was setting less than an hour later, Lo'ak entered the tent - and he was angry.
"Neteyam, you fucking idiot!" he yelled, in front of the entire family.
"Whoa, whoa!" Jake stood up in an instant, followed by Neteyam, and placed himself between the boys to avoid escalation.
"You... you fucking idiot!" Lo'ak yelled again.
"Mad that I caught you?" Neteyam asked, spitting out the words like daggers.
"You know nothing! You broke her heart, do you know that?" Lo'ak yelled.
"Stop this, now!" their mother demanded. "Explain." She turned to Neteyam first.
"Everyone knows that Tsireya is in love with Lo'ak, but last night on the beach, he was telling her sister how beautiful she is. I heard it with my own years!"
Neteyri's eyes widened in shock, and she turned to her younger son.
"Lo'ak, is this true?"
"No!" Lo'ak shouted. "Well, yes, but that's not what happened."
"Lower your voice, and explain," Neytiri said calmly.
"She asked because she thought this idiot," he gestured to Neteyam, "didn't think Metkayina women were beautiful. She wasn't asking if I thought she was attractive - she was asking if we could find her, all the women here, as beautiful as the women from back home. Because she likes you, you idiot!"
"Stop calling your brother names," Jake demanded, stepping from in-between his sons, but that was where his advice ended - this seemed like a conversation for their mother.
"He went and accused her of betraying her sister, and she's been crying all night. Tsireya came to tell me, because you need to fix it."
Lo'ak's words were like a knife in Neteyam's chest. He could picture Y/N's face on the beach, how crushed she had been, and he had never felt more guilty or regretful in his life.
He couldn't believe the things he'd believed about her, and said directly to her. He put his face in his hands and sighed.
"Shit," he whispered.
"You must go apologize, now. She is the chief's daughter. You go make peace," his mother insisted, grabbing his arm. "Come. We go now."
"Mom!" Neteyam said, but there was no getting around it - his mother was going to march him over to apologize to the woman he loved.
--
After my embarrassing display of emotion early - which was very out of character for me - my father would not let me further than a foot away from him. We sat, eating together, with his arm around my shoulders.
Every so often he would mutter something like, "Idiot boy," or "hideous moron" and I had to admit, it helped.
He finally let me go to clean up after dinner, and Tsireya gave my arm a squeeze as she joined to help.
"I am sorry for the intrusion," someone said at the entrance to our mauri, and we all turned to look. Standing there was Neteyam, his mother holding his arm. "My son owes your daughter an apology."
"Oh no," I whispered under my breath, meeting eyes with Tsireya.
My parents locked eyes with each other. I could tell they both wanted to rip poor Neteyam's throat out, but after a moment, they nodded with each other.
"Hear the boy out," my mother said, bending down to grab my arm. "You will return soon."
"Yes, mother," I nodded, and followed Neteyam and his mother out of the tent.
Neytiri followed us down to the beach, but then broke away, leaving us completely alone in the moonlight.
We stood, staring out at the water for a long, awkward moment.
Finally, Neteyam spoke.
"Never in my life have I been such a fool, or hurt someone I care about so deeply. I was overtaken by jealousy when I heard you and my brother talking, and I assumed the worst. I know you may not be able to forgive me, but I will never stop being sorry."
Tears filled my eyes again, but I couldn't form a reply.
"You should know that I think you are the most beautiful creature I have ever laid eyes on. I have been mesmerized by you since the moment we arrived. You are all I think about, day and night. My biggest regret is that I did not tell you that, every single day. If I had, we would have avoided all this. I see you, Y/N. I see you."
Neteyam reached up, brushing a tear from my cheek, and I leaned my face into his palm.
He took a sharp breath in.
"I see you, and I forgive you, Neteyam," I said finally. Continuing to be angry at Neteyam, now that I knew how he felt, seemed like an impossible task. "And I would kiss you now, but I think both our mothers are watching."
A smile spread across his lips, and he bent down to hover his lips just above mine. "I do not care."
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hooniblr · 1 month
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𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 (𝐘𝐄𝐓) 𝐈𝐈
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PAIRING ▸ nishimura riki x female feader
WORD COUNT ▸ 4.8k
GENRE ▸ high school au, brother’s best friend au, fluff, angst
SYNOPSIS ▸ After spending the better part of your adolescent life crushing on your brother’s best friend, you finally decide to call it quits on your unrequited feelings when you come to the conclusion that’s all they will ever be—unrequited. The only problem is that getting rid of these feelings that have been lurking in your heart is much more difficult than you anticipated. Especially because the object of your affections keeps making it hard for you to move on.
Or the one where Riki resorts to blackmail.
WARNINGS ▸ reader as sunoo’s twin sister, riki as sunoo’s bestie, feat. some of the newjeans members, reader is an expert at hiding her feelings, misunderstandings, pining, slow burn, blackmail, broken promises, hurt feelings
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NOTE — thank you for all the love on part one! hope you guys like this part. mdni banner made by @/benkeibear
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“You still haven’t told Sunoo about your new hobby?”
“No. I know he would just worry about me getting hurt.” You sighed. “So would my parents.”
Minji furrowed her eyebrows. “Don’t you think hiding it is doing too much? You’re not doing anything bad. It’s just jiujitsu.”
“You know how my mom gets. She wants me to do things ‘normal girls do’ like that’s going to make me act like her friends’ kids. Remember when she tried to make me join the choir?”
“Yeah.” Danielle grimaced. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you get so embarrassed.”
You and Minji shared her grimace. Your audition probably went down as the worst in the history of the entire school. “I’m actually kind of good at jiujitsu, and I like doing it. If I tell Sunoo about it he won’t let me go back to the dojo ever again.”
Minji sighed. She knew you were right. Having an overprotective family would be the death of you.
“Come on.” She said, hoping to distract you from your inner turmoil. “Let’s go eat in the courtyard.”
“You don’t want to go to the cafeteria?”
"Riki’s in there.” Danielle reminded you. “So is Heeseung.”
“True.” You pursed your lips. “I’ll meet you guys out there. I have to drop off Sunoo’s stuff first.”
The hallway was relatively empty when you wandered up the stairs. You were glad no one was around because it would make it easier to drop off your brother’s bag—which he had inconveniently forgotten in the morning, again. When you glanced inside his classroom, it was completely alone, much to your relief.
After dumping the bag on his desk, you made a run for it. Sure, you were probably being overly paranoid, but you couldn’t risk running into Riki. Especially not after last night.
“Kim Y/N.”
Hearing your full government name made you freeze just before you reached the stairs. Your heart and mind had memorized that smooth melody long ago. You slowly turned around, heart stuttering despite knowing what sight awaited you. Riki’s usually sweet gaze had been replaced with one that was full of disapproving anger and something else; something you couldn’t discern.
“Riki.” You said his name breathlessly.
Your wide-eyed gaze only confirmed his suspicions. Up until now, you never had a problem being around him, or even looking at him. Right now, Riki could see that you were itching to get away from him as if he was some sort of parasite. He knew your awkward behavior was nothing more than a byproduct of hanging around that bastard Lee Heeseung, and it only made his anger grow immutably.
“I saw you last night.” Riki’s tone was accusing, knowing he was approaching the situation in a completely immature way. “I know you haven’t been hanging out at the internet cafe. You go to that dojo with Lee Heeseung.”
Out of all the things you expected Riki to say, him bringing up your secret jiujitsu lessons wasn’t on the list. It was clear that he disapproved, but you weren’t sure why he seemed as upset as he did. Did he know Sunoo wouldn’t approve as well? They truly were best friends. You were glad to see that the loyalty wasn’t just a one-way street despite the fact that it was now backfiring on you.
And so, like a deer caught in headlights, you could only blink at him bovinely as he gave you a stare that demanded answers.
“Does Sunoo know what you’ve been doing instead of going home?”
Your eyes widened in realization. Riki was going to rat you out.
“Please don’t say anything.” You begged, clasping your fingers together to form the classic pleading gesture. “I know he wouldn’t approve, and if he tells our parents then I won’t be able to go anymore.”
Riki clenched his jaw. Was being able to see that idiot so important to you? Enough to risk getting in trouble with your parents? He wondered how you would feel about Heeseung if you knew the truth about him. You definitely wouldn’t feel the same way about him if you found out what kind of person he really was.
Even so, your shimmering eyes had him thinking twice about ruining what you had with Heeseung. He could see that you were clearly infatuated with that idiot to the point that you were willing to upset your entire family by seeing him. The fact that you were even willing to go to that stupid dojo with him was enough indication of how much you liked him. (As if you avoiding him wasn’t proof enough.)
“Well—”
“Y/N!”
Sunoo bounded over to you with his rowdy friends following close behind him. Your panic-filled eyes glanced from Riki to your brother. You tried to straighten out your dismayed expression with a tense smile.
“Twin!” You exclaimed a little too happily. “I left your bag on your desk.”
“Oh, that’s right. I forgot—”
“I’ll see you at home.” You rushed out, not giving either boys a chance to respond before you took off down the stairs.
Luckily for you, neither of them followed after you. As you reached the bottom of the stairs, you looked back just to make sure. At that moment, you bumped into someone and nearly fell back. Stumbling awkwardly, you started to apologize for not watching where you were going.
“It’s okay. You’re not hurt, are you?”
Seeing Sunghoon’s worried expression almost made you roll your eyes. Instead, you told him you were fine and kept walking because the last thing you needed was to deal with your ex. Unfortunately, you weren’t allowed a stealthy getaway.
“What’s going on between you and Lee Heeseung?”
You glanced over your shoulder, annoyed that Sunghoon was following you. It would’ve been easy to ignore him, but you knew he wasn’t going to leave you alone since he had asked you in that nosy tone of his. “What are you talking about?”
“I saw you two at Jake’s party.” Sunghoon sounded insecure or something close to it. “Do you like him or something?”
An incredulous scoff tumbled past your lips. “What do you care? Are you jealous?”
“Yes—extremely.” His pout was objectively cute, but you couldn’t see it as anything other than annoying. “Since when did you start hanging around Lee Heeseung?”
It was usually easy for you to hide your feelings, but now your indignation was the one taking control as you turned to face him. “Around the time you stopped.”
Sunghoon’s eyes widened. If Heeseung had mentioned their brief friendship to you, it’s because he had explicit trust in you. The theory that he concocted the other night couldn’t be too far off from the truth. It made him feel a terrible dread in his gut. Heeseung wasn’t the type to reveal any private information, which brought Sunghoon back to the conclusion that you weren’t just anyone his former friend.
“So, Heeseung likes you then.”
You don’t think you had ever heard anything more ridiculous. It was obvious that Sunghoon was still too self absorbed to see that Heeseung had been pining for Song Yura for the longest time. His unrequited feelings are the reason you two had gotten so close. Not that it was any of your ex’s business.
You scoffed quietly before an apathetic smile spread on your lips. “Think what you want.”
Sunghoon frowned. As he went to say something else, you went out the exit leading to the courtyard. He could only watch you walk away from him with a disheartened expression.
Thinking you had successfully gotten him to back off was your first mistake.
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“Which movie did you pick?” You wondered as you put the popcorn bag in the microwave.
“I didn’t pick one yet.” Sunoo said from the living room. “Riki’s coming over so I wanted to let him decide on the movie too.”
You nearly dropped the bowl you pulled out of the cabinet. Maybe you should’ve felt upset that Sunoo conveniently forgot to mention that his bestie was crashing your movie night, but you were too panicked to feel angry or anything related to that emotion. It didn’t even have to do with the fact that you were practically in love with Riki. Instead it was about the not-so-small tidbit that he knew your secret and was probably planning to tell your brother all about it.
“I thought you said it was just going to be us tonight.” You did your best to sound upset although you were sure your voice was shaking.
“Riki wanted to hang out. You know I can’t tell him no.” Sunoo pouted as you went to sit by him. “You’ve never had a problem with him coming over before.”
That was before you decided to get over him.
“The three of us haven’t hung out together in a while. It’ll be good for him to come over, anyway. He could use your advice.”
“My advice?” You mimicked curiously. “Advice for what?”
“He got a love letter from Song Yura today.” Sunoo said with a giddy laugh. “He didn’t let me see what it said, but I think she confessed to him.”
“Maybe it wasn’t a love letter.” You said pathetically, knowing it was your wishful thinking doing the talking.
“But she even has his helmet. Not his extra one, his favorite one. I’m sure it won’t be long before they’re a couple.”
It was hard not to feel like a deflated balloon with what Sunoo was saying. Not only because Song Yura was obviously someone very special to Riki (he didn’t let just anyone touch that helmet), but because you knew Heeseung was going to feel heartbroken once he heard the news.
You couldn’t be surprised that this happened. It wasn’t like this was the first time Riki had gotten a girlfriend. He’d had plenty between the time you’d met him and now.
So, why did this feel so much worse than all the other times?
The title of the movie the boys selected went over your head. Your inner turmoil had the knots in your stomach tightening with every passing second. You weren’t sure whether to focus on the fact that Riki might expose your secret or that one of the prettiest girls in school had confessed to him. The choice wasn’t left to you as your mind alternated from thinking about the two problems periodically.
Your eyes were focused on the TV screen, but you were too busy thinking to see any of what was actually happening. Honestly, it was a good thing that Riki could potentially get into a relationship. If he did, it would be the thing to help her move on once and for all. Although watching him end up with someone else wouldn’t be painless, it would for the best. At least that’s what you tried to tell yourself.
Also, should Riki start to date Yura, then maybe he would be too caught up in his relationship to bring up your secret. Or maybe that was more of your wishful thinking since Riki was much more bothered about your jiujitsu lessons than you expected. You still couldn’t figure out why. It couldn’t be just because of his friendship to your brother. No matter how many times you went over it in your head, you couldn’t figure out why he cared so much.
Somehow, the movie ended before you could focus on it. With Sunoo telling Riki to pick another movie because he needed to use the restroom, you mindlessly wandered into the kitchen under the pretense of making more popcorn for the second movie. In reality, you needed to put some distance between you and Riki. Being alone with him wouldn’t do your resilience any good, and it definitely wasn’t helping your nerves. Unfortunately for you, nothing ever went as planned.
“We didn’t finish our conversation.”
Your hands stilled. Calm down. Breathe. You pressed the start button on the microwave before turning around to face Riki.
His thick eyebrow was raised, and that domineering look from before made an appearance once again. “Are you really going to keep doing jiujitsu even though you know your family won’t approve?”
You almost told him that he also did plenty of things that his family didn’t approve of, but you knew it wasn’t smart to get snarky with the person who knew your secret. Telling him the real reason you were practicing jiujitsu was out of the question. So, left without any other choice, you decided to bring up your friend in the hopes that he would leave it alone.
“It’s something fun to do with Heeseung.”
Astoundingly enough, Riki’s stern gaze became even more lethal. “Can’t you do something else with that idiot?” His voice rose unintentionally. “How can you want to keep learning jiujitsu just because that’s what—?”
“Shh!” You hissed in a panic, practically pouncing on Riki as you placed your hands over his mouth. “Sunoo will hear you!”
As you looked towards the living room worriedly, Riki found himself frozen in shock. Your soft hands pressing against his lips had his heart pounding harshly against his chest. From this close, he could see every single one of your eyelashes and the deep color of your pretty eyes. He couldn’t seem to form a coherent thought, only focusing on the close proximity. You smell invaded his senses and disarmed him completely.
When you looked back at Riki, you noticed he was looking at you strangely. It was then that you realized how close you two were. Literally chest to chest. You jumped back, feeling a bit of heat spread on your face.
“Sorry.” You apologized. “Just please don’t say anything.”
You rushed back into the living room before Riki could say anything else. All you could focus on was your erratic heartbeat that wouldn’t slow down. How could he affect you so much without even doing anything? It wasn’t fair because you were sure your presence didn’t have the same affect on him. The heat on your face hadn’t gone down even when Riki came back with the popcorn. If he noticed how flustered you looked, he didn’t mention it.
“Y/N.” Sunoo said as he walked back into the living room. “What’s this? Is it yours?”
Your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when you saw Sunoo holding up your gi. You nearly choked, not knowing what to say since you were practically caught red-handed. Since when did he go through the laundry?
“That’s Danielle’s.” Riki said suddenly. “She asked me to get it for her when I came over.”
Without any hesitation, Sunoo handed the garments to Riki. While you were grateful that he hadn’t outed your secret, the nerves of him possibly changing his mind had you fidgeting uncomfortably as the two boys picked another movie. All throughout the comedy, you kept stealing glances at Riki. He didn’t look at you once, and you mentally cursed him for being so good at hiding his emotions.
When it was time for Riki to leave, you offered to see him out. Instead of walking him to the door, you stepped out into the cold night with him. You stood in front of Riki, nervously playing with the hem of her hoodie.
“Thank you for not telling my brother.”
“I’ll keep your secret.” Riki promised. “But you have to do something for me.”
You should’ve been suspicious at the tone he’d gotten, but you were too caught up with his promise not to tell anyone about your jiujitsu lessons. “What’s that?”
“I won’t tell anyone about what you’ve been up to as long as you stop going to that dojo and stop seeing Lee Heeseung.”
You thought he was joking until you that saw his somber expression didn’t change. Your eyebrows pulled together in confusion. She could understand the first part of his request, but what did you being friends with Heeseung have to do with anything?
“What? I can’t just—”
“Should I let your brother know what you’ve been doing, then?” Riki raised a challenging eyebrow at you.
Your shoulders sagged. “No.”
Riki held back a grin, but only just. “So, do we have a deal?”
“Yes.” You agreed reluctantly.
His signature smirk made an appearance. He lifted his hand and rested it on your head, softly ruffling the top of your hair. “Good. See you later.”
“Wait!” You called, pointing at the garments in his hand. “My gi!”
Riki glanced down at the clothing in his hands. Again, he looked up at her with that smirk of his. “This? I think I’ll hold onto it for the time being.” His smirk seemed mocking now, but it was still fatally attractive. Damn him. “Go back inside. You’ll catch a cold out here.”
And so, you watched Riki get on his motorcycle and take off with a sulky scowl on your face.
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“Y/N.”
Riki was leaning against his motorcycle as he beckoned you over to where he was. You hesitantly walked over, feeling your palms begin to perspire. Ever since you decided to go behind his back and still go to the dojo with Heeseung, you felt like you were on the brink of being caught.
“Where are you heading?”
To the dojo. “Oh... I was just going home since Minji and Danielle can’t hang out today.”
“Let’s get something to eat.” Riki’s words left no room for any disagreements. He handed you his spare helmet casually. “Hop on.”
You shook her head frantically. “Oh—no. You don’t have to. I’m not—”
“Come on.” He insisted, forcing the helmet into your hands. “Don’t you want your gi back?”
You scowled. “Fine.”
After putting on the helmet, you hesitantly got on the back of his motorcycle. It was embarrassing since you didn’t exactly fit on the edge of the bike, though, it mostly had to do with you sitting as far from him as the narrow seat would allow. You were sure you’d turn into putty if you had any physical contact with him.
“Hold on tight.”
You grimaced, torn between playing out the one fantasy that had been replaying through your head for months and your rational need to set boundaries so your feelings would stop growing. You awkwardly grabbed Riki’s shoulders, hoping that you wouldn’t fall off once he took off.
Riki laughed at your obvious unease. He decided to do a break check so you’d realize that not holding onto him wasn’t an option. Suddenly, you were flung forward. The front of your body collided with Riki’s firm back with a loud thud. For a moment, you thought you had hurt him until you saw his shoulders shaking with laughter. You glared at the back of his head. “Riki!”
“I told you to hold on.” Riki said, the lilt in his voice was teasing yet there was also a serious undertone to his words. “Do you want to fly off?”
You almost told him that you wouldn’t if he went slow enough. However, you kept your mouth shut and hoped your obsession wouldn’t grow as you hesitantly wrapped your arms around his torso. You gently rested your head against his back and closed your eyes. Just for a second, you told yourself. For a small moment, you would let go of the worries that burdened you and simply enjoy being close to the boy you liked.
Something unfamiliar tugged at Riki’s chest. His head shifted a little, wanting to catch a glimpse of the girl on his back. Your arms were secured around his waist and you were leaning on him, but he suddenly found that it wasn’t enough. Somehow he wanted you even closer. Riki cleared his throat quietly, pushing the unfamiliar thoughts out of his mind for the time being.
And so, you two sped off, neither of you noticing the boy who had been watching their entire interaction from afar.
You uncomfortably picked at the food in front of you. Had this been last year, you would’ve been overjoyed at sharing a meal with Riki (part of you still was), but now you couldn’t help but feel like this was all some sort of trap. Like he knew you had gone against your promis and was waiting on Sunoo to show up to tell him everything.
“Are you not hungry?” Riki wondered with a slight frown. “Bulgogi is your favorite.”
Honestly, you felt like puking up all the butterflies in her stomach, but he didn’t need to know that. “I’m not really hungry.” Your words were hardly convincing, but Riki seemed to believe you. “I got used to not eating as much because of jiujitsu.”
Riki’s jaw ticked in annoyance. “Is that really all it is?”
“Yeah.” You nodded your head. “I swear.”
That aggravated look he had been getting a lot lately found its way onto his face again. “Are you sure it’s not because you can’t see Heeseung?”
Your reluctance to answer the question had irritation crawling up his skin like a parasite. He knew that’s what it was. The shy look on your face was all the indication he needed to know you were thinking about that idiot. Riki only asked you because he hoped that you would tell him. Once you did, he would tell you that Heeseung wasn’t worth your time.
“It’s not like that.” You told him, confused that he was getting so worked up.
“Do you like him?” Riki demanded, needing to hear those words come out of your mouth. “Tell me the truth.”
His tone caught you off guard. You chewed on your bottom lip, wondering if you should mess with him a little since he took your stuff. Maybe it was petty of you, but you decided to do it anyway. You gave him a half-smile that you were sure looked more like a grimace. “That’s a secret.”
Riki was sure his jaw would snap at any moment from the amount of pressure he was putting on it. “Just know you’re out of his league. You’re way too pretty to settle for him of all people.”
You felt like your heart was ready to burst at any moment from how fast it was beating. Damn him. Damn your feelings for him. You were aware Riki only spoke his words out of kindness (and out of his dislike for Heeseung), but your dumb heart couldn’t tell the difference. It was clear that Riki didn’t see you the way he saw Song Yura. To him, you would always be Sunoo’s sister. But for a brief moment, you allowed herself to believe that he sincerely meant what he said.
Your shocked gaze had Riki coughing nervously. It wasn’t the first time he called you pretty, but this time it felt different from all the previous times. His words seemed more... intimate, somehow.
You didn’t realize you were full-on staring until the chime of a text notification pulled you out of the trance that was Riki’s intense gaze. Your jaw nearly dropped when she saw Heeseung’s name on the screen. He didn’t text you very often, and when he did it was only ever to tell you he wouldn’t be at the dojo.
Where are you?
You briefly glanced at Riki before quickly typing out a reply.
I’m at the corner restaurant near the dojo. I’ll be there soon.
You put your phone back on the table, feeling like there was an impending doom waiting for you. There was this inkling you had that nothing good could come from Heeseung’s ominous message. Even so, you chose to ignore it for the time being.
“So.” Riki cleared his throat, not knowing why he suddenly felt so shy. “What’s so great about your little crush, anyway?”
You contemplated your next words. Riki probably thought you were going to tell him about Heeseung, but he could never know what you were about to say was all about him. It was the only opportunity you would have to tell Riki how you really felt about him.
“Ever since we met, he’s been nothing but kind to me. He sees me for who I am.” The corner of your mouth lifted a bit. “Some people think he’s a jerk, but he isn’t really. He’s actually really sweet and caring.”
Riki’s expression hardened. Sweet? Caring? Yeah, right. He was sure that he could be much more sweet than Heeseung who had the emotional range of a fish.
“What about you, Riki?” You questioned despite knowing his answers would only hurt your feelings. “Everyone’s talking about how much you like Yura. What kind of person is she?”
Riki raised his eyebrows, baffled. “What? I don’t—”
He cut himself off when he saw a familiar (and unwelcome) presence approach the table. If you thought his gaze was harsh before, it didn’t compare to the murderous look that crossed his face in that instant. You followed his gaze, mouth dropping open in surprise when you saw Heeseung standing about two feet away from the table.
“H-Heeseung?” You choked out, unable to believe that he was actually there.
“I got worried when you didn’t meet me at the dojo like we’d planned.” He said like his words weren’t the equivalent of dropping a bomb of chaos.
You could’ve choked Heeseung right then and there. What the hell did he think he was doing? You gave him a look, one that you hoped he would understand. Either he didn’t notice it or he didn’t care. You were willing to bet it was the latter.
“What are you doing here?” Riki’s voice was deceptively calm. “Don’t tell me you’re following her.”
In the few times you witnessed the two boys around each other, you knew it always got ugly fast. You could see where this encounter was heading, and it was heading there quick. Luckily for you, your saint of a brother decided to call you right then.
“Sunoo!” You hastily answered your phone. “What’s up?”
“Mom wants us home for dinner. She made ribs.”
“Okay. I’ll be there right away.” You hung up before he could say anything else. You scrambled to grab your bag. “I have to go—family emergency. See you guys later!”
With that, you ran away from the uncomfortable scene that was unfolding without looking back once.
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You waited at the front of your school anxiously. Riki hadn’t mentioned anything to Sunoo yet, and you were hoping you could convince him not to with a bit of begging. The seconds ticked by, and while you still hadn’t seen his familiar motorcycle, you saw the person who had dug you into a deeper hole.
“Lee Heeseung!” You hissed as you pulled him to the side. “What was that stunt you pulled yesterday? You know I can’t have anyone find out that I’m learning jiujitsu.”
Heeseung looked unfazed as ever. “I just want to know what you’re doing. You said you were trying to get over Nishimura, but you were having a meal with him.”
Your right eye twitched. “That’s because he said he would give me back my gi!” You whisper-yelled, wanting to pull on the ends of your hair in frustration. “Which he didn’t, thanks to you.”
“I also wanted to ask him why he has a problem with us being friends. It’s not like you’re his little sister.”
You’re not sure why that made your anger simmer to a simple irritation. Also, Heeseung did sort of have a point. You laughed incredulously, shoving his shoulder a bit. “You’re so immature, Hee. You know he has a problem with it because he doesn’t like you.”
Heeseung highly doubted the only reason Riki didn’t want you two hanging out was because of their mutual dislike for each other. He knew that you probably wouldn’t figure that out any time soon because you were too overwhelmed with your own feelings, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t find out the truth on your behalf.
Your smile was quick to slip off your face when you saw Song Yura staring your way. The heartbroken look she had her on her face caught you by surprise. Even worse, Riki was standing directly behind her. You felt herself panic. If there was any hope that your begging would convince him not to say anything, it was gone now. Now you were certain that you wouldn’t be able to crawl out of the hole you had dug yourself in.
Riki on the other hand could only look on with a glare. He had never planned on exposing your secret. It was only a pretense to get you to stop hanging around that prick, but now he could truly see that your feelings were stronger than your fear of getting in trouble. He had suspected that was the case for some time now, yet it still made him feel sick.
Why did it have to be Lee Heeseung of all people? Why couldn’t it be... anyone else?
Riki turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction, not knowing what to make of the heaviness in his chest.
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taglist: @hoondiors @blurryriki @miiequalsx
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kaleldobrev · 9 months
Text
Daddy in a Different Way
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Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader
Summary: A simple misunderstanding leads an older woman to believe that you and Jack are together, not you and Dean. But Dean does a “very good job” at clearing things up...But maybe not in the best way.
Word Count: 2.5k
Warnings: Age Gap, Light Smut, Daddy kink (if you squint)
Authors Note: Takes place in the same universe as Old Man | Flashbacks are in italics | Even though it’s light smut 18+ only please | MDNI | If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡
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You grabbed your black leather crossbody handbag from the hook next to the floor length mirror that Dean had installed in your shared room about two months after you had moved in.
“Our room is missing something.” You stated as you rolled onto your side, propping yourself up with your elbow and the palm of your hand.
“Oh yeah?” Dean asked, his eyes were still closed, not yet wanting to fully commit to waking up just yet. “What’s that Princess?”
“Floor length mirror.” Your tone serious.
Dean’s eyes shot open, automatically looking at you. “You’re serious?” He asked, not actually wanting you to answer.
You gave him your ‘of course I’m serious Dean’ face, followed by a simple smile. “It’s one mirror Dean.” You said, as you started to trace your pointer finger on his bare chest. “It’s the least you can do.” You paused, tilting his chin toward you. “I’ll make it worth your while.” You leaned in, barely brushing your bottom lip on his.
“You don’t have to owe me anything Sweetheart. You know I can’t say no to you.” He replied, closing the gap between you and kissed you.
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As you looked at yourself in the mirror, you heard Dean come into the room. Seeing him come up behind you, you gave me a soft smile. “You look beautiful today, Sunshine.” His compliment genuine. Wrapping his arms around your waist, you placed your hands on his arms, enjoying the embrace that he had around you. His chin found itself on your bare shoulder before he gave your neck a somewhat seductive like kiss that sent a shiver down your spine. “You and sundresses always do it for me. I don’t know why.” The sundress that you were currently wearing in particular happened to be Dean’s favorite on you, even though he loved every single one that you owned. But for some reason, this sage colored one seemed to be one that he gravitated toward the most.
“I think you like the easy access that they give you.” You turned your head toward him, meeting his gaze; your lips inches away from each other, slightly smelling his spearmint toothpaste.
“That’s one of the reasons.” He confessed, gently starting to lift your dress up. He had gotten pretty far, getting to the point where you could see the waistband of your panties – green lace, the same color as your dress. One of Dean’s fingers found its way into the waistband, and your breath hitched, waiting for the contact that you were craving, despite just having sex with him a few hours before. Yours and his lips touched then, the kiss feeling just as needy and desperate as it was a couple hours before. Dean added another finger as he was hovering over your clit.
“Dean…” You moaned, his two fingers finally making contact as they barely dipped inside you.
“Aw Sweetheart, you’re wet ready?” He voice sounded like honey to you in that moment. “Was this morning not enough for you?” He smirked, slightly feeling how hard he already was against your ass.
“Clearly it wasn’t enough for you either handsome.” Your lips curving into a smirk. You started to move your hand behind you now, gently palming the front of his jeans.
“I’m ready to go when you two are.” Jack said, as you were midway through unzipping Dean’s pants. You and Dean froze in place for a moment, feeling yourself tense up around Dean’s fingers.
“Dammit.” Dean said, his voice sounding more frustrated than he probably intended it to be. He removed his fingers along with his embrace around you; your dress falling back into place.
Jack looked between the two of you, confused at Dean’s reaction. All of a sudden, realization hit them. “Oh.” Jack simply said. “You two were in the middle of having sex and I interrupted.”
You turned to face Jack, ready to say something to them, but Dean was the first one to talk. “We…We weren’t having sex Jack but…we were…being…intimate.”
“With the door open?” Jack asked. Their point was valid, but at the same time, you also weren’t expecting Dean to come up behind you and start fingering you.
“You didn’t see anything right?” You asked. Not that you were embarrassed if Jack had seen anything, but you also didn’t feel like explaining every single sexual thing that you and Dean had done right now to them. To your relief, Jack shook their head, indicating that they in fact didn’t see anything that you two had done.
“Does this mean you two are going to have sex when we get back?” Jack asked, very bluntly.
Dean walked over to Jack, placing the hand that he didn’t use on you, and patted Jack’s shoulder. “Oh, you bet we are.” He winked, before walking out of the room, leaving just you and Jack.
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The drive to Target went by quickly, the entire drive filled with song after song that you had requested, as you were the only one besides Dean who had any say in the music that was to be listened to or enjoyed in Baby. “You’re the only shotgun that will always have a say.” Dean once told you.
Once Dean parked Baby, the three of you got out and made your way into the store. Getting inside, you grabbed a shopping cart, despite the fact that you knew you probably didn’t need it; but it was just a force of habit that you did each time you walked into the store, much to Dean’s dismay. “Can I push the cart?” Jack asked, a childish type smile on their face.
“Of course.” You gave them a smile back, releasing your hands from the cart so they could start pushing it. You didn’t know why, but you had loved seeing the enjoyment on Jack’s face when you had told them they could push the cart. With everything that has happened over the years, it was nice to see someone get excited over something so simple.
With no use for your hands now, you went to hold the strap of your crossbody. Seeing this, Dean held out one of his hands. “Hold my hand so you don’t get lost.” He teased. You playfully swatted his arm before taking his hand.
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“This is so cute.” You said, grabbing a graphic tree from one of the racks and showed it to Jack. “Do you like this? I think it would look nice on you.” The shirt that you held in your hands was a nice mint color and had an array of different succulents.
“While you two do this, I’m gonna go look at the flannels.” Dean pointed to the small variety of mainly red flannels a few feet away.
“Dean, it’s July…in Kansas.” Kansas in July was honestly one of the worst months. It was always over 100 degrees, and the feels like made it 10 degrees warmer than that; and let’s not forget about the humidity: that was the worst part. Whenever you had left the comfortableness of the Bunker, you instantly felt like you were melting, despite the minimal clothing sometimes you left the Bunker in to try and conquer the Kansas heat.
“It’s always flannel season Sweetheart.” Dean smiled before leaving you and Jack in the graphic tee section.
You let out a frustrated sigh. You were happy to at least convince Dean not to wear his usual jacket today, even if he was still wearing Timberlands and jeans. Before you had met him, him along with Sam would tell you how they both wore jackets no matter the weather, and that honestly baffled you. You had no idea how two grown men would willingly wear heavy jackets in summer, let alone summer in Kansas no less. After you had become more of a stable being in his life, and the other boys lives, you had found yourself gently – sometimes aggressively – convincing Dean that maybe wearing a heavy ass leather jacket in 100 degree weather wasn’t the smartest move; that it was okay to wear a t-shirt and shorts. He had worn shorts in the Bunker, but refused to wear them outside; the place that you had told him that he needed to wear them. “I don’t want people staring at my legs.” He told you.
“I don’t believe flannel is a season.” Jack commented, interrupting your train of thought. “It’s a material last time I checked.” You adored Jack’s slight innocence at times like these.
“You would be correct. But, wearing any kind of flannel, despite a heat wave, is a long-standing Winchester tradition.” You held up the shirt again, holding it up against Jack’s body so you could try and imagine what it would look like on them without having to try it on in the store; something you knew Jack would be uncomfortable with doing. “I think you’d look cute in this.” You nodded to yourself and placed the t-shirt in the cart.
“Can I pick something out for you?” Jack asked.
“Sure. Let’s see what you got.” You smiled, both of you turning around to look at the rack.
As Jack looked through the t-shirts trying to find one that they thought you would like, you couldn’t help but look over at Dean who had quite a few flannels draped over his arm that he would be able to add to his ever growing collection; a few even looked to be in your size, something that made you smile. “I think you’d look nice in this one.” Jack said, holding out the black t-shirt for you to see. It was faded black in color and had the logo for one of your favorite bands: The Clash. “A very fine choice Jack.” You smiled.
Jack handed you the shirt and you placed it in the cart. “Can we listen to them when we get home? Or are you and Dean going to have sex?” Jack asked bluntly, but quiet enough so only you would be able to hear the question.
You placed your hand on Jack’s shoulder. “I’ll tell you what, we can listen to them on the drive home. How does that sound?” You smiled, coming up with a compromise that you knew they’d be good with. Jack nodded, liking your compromise.
“Well aren’t you two just the cutest.” An older woman who appeared to be in her mid to late 70s said. At first, you and Jack looked around to see if she was talking about anyone else that was around you, but the two of you were the only ones in sight. Seeing you two looking around, she laughed gently, amused. “Yes, I’m talking about you two.” She walked closer to you. “How long have you cuties been together?”
“Oh, we’re not together.” You stated.
The woman gave you and Jack a rather confused expression, as if she didn’t understand why you had said you two weren’t together. “Oh sweetie, there’s nothing to be embarrassed about. Trust me,” she leaned in to whisper, so only you could hear her. “I know true love when I see it.” You couldn’t help but give her a wide-eyed expression. “I used to look at my Harold like that.”
“We aren’t together.” You firmly said again. You looked over at Jack who simply just held their hands on the shopping cart, trying their best not to make eye contact with the woman. You knew that they were starting to get uncomfortable. “We get it all the time though.” You stated. Which was true. Whenever you and Jack did things together without Dean, it almost seemed like you and Jack were together given the fact that you two relatively appeared to be the same age, despite you being a few years older than they were. “I’m actually with that handsome man over there.” You directed her attention to Dean, who was currently holding up an interesting looking colored flannel with a disgusted look on his face. You had never seen a man look so disgusted while looking at flannels before.
The older woman turned back to you after looking over at Dean. “Sweetie, there’s no way. He’s old enough to be your father.” Her comment made your heart sink a bit, but it was a comment that you were relatively used to hearing whenever people had seen you and Dean together. You and Dean had a 15 year age gap, and you didn’t particularly look your age at times; it all depended on if you were wearing make-up or not, and the type of clothing you had on at the time.
“He’s not actually.” You firmly stated. “I know it looks like he is but –” You started to say, but the woman seemed to have no interest in your explanation, simply ignoring what you had to say because she seemed too invested in the ‘relationship’ that you and Jack apparently were in, in her eyes.
“How long have you two been together?” She repeated her question. You and Jack looked at each other, their cheeks starting to get a slightly light pink out of embarrassment.
“Again, we aren’t together.” Your voice sounding more firm this time.
In that moment out of your peripheral you noticed Dean starting to make his way back over to the three of you. His once happy expression quickly turned into what seemed like concern. “Everything okay here Sweetheart?” He asked you.
“Oh, everything’s fine dear.” The woman stated, not realizing that he was calling you Sweetheart and not her. She gently took hold of his arm, almost as if she was flirting with him; which you were pretty sure she was. “I was just complimenting your daughter here on how nicely her and her boyfriend looked together.”
Dean looked at the woman’s arm on his before looking at you and Jack for a moment. Dean let out one of the biggest laughs you had heard from him in a while. “What’s so funny?” The older woman asked.
Dean wiped his eyes, as if he had just been cry laughing. “What you just said.” He pointed at you and Jack. “Them two? Now that’s…wow, I needed that laugh today, thank you.” He said. The old woman’s expression grew even more confused than it was before.
“You’re not…her father?” She looked at the three of you, removing her hand finally from his arm.
“Biologically? No. But she does call me daddy sometimes in the bedroom.” He winked at the older woman, his comment making her gasp quietly before she left the three of you alone.
“Dean!” You couldn’t believe what he had just said. Well, you could, but you didn’t think he would say something like that to a woman that just seemed to be a bit too nosy for her own good.
“What?” He asked.
“Y/N, do you really call Dean your father?” Jack asked very seriously. Jack was aware of some of the nicknames that you and Dean had or would call each other. Sweetheart, Hon, Honey, Babe, Baby, Sunshine. But Daddy was a new one for them.
Dean was about to open his mouth to answer Jack, but you quickly covered it with your hand. “We’re not gonna talk about that.” You simply said, sounding just a bit defensive in your response.
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