#mind your fucking business (most of) people who stop eating meat dont do it because they dont like meat

[celticwoman]

IM TIRED OF MEAT EATERS IM ABOUT TO DROP KICK THEM ALL

#they make me so fucking mad #maybe im easily irritable BUT THEYRE SO FUCKING ANNOYING #mind your fucking business (most of) people who stop eating meat dont do it because they dont like meat #THERES MULTIPLE REASONS FOR GOING VEGAN VEGETARIAN OR WHATEVER #IF U DONT CARE TO LISTEN WHEN PEOPLE TRY TO EXPLAIN IT TO YOU THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP OMFG #also meat doesnt have that flavour naturally ffs its fucking seasoned and no one says meat isnt yummy (although everyone has their own #opinion and if u dont like the taste of any meat thats fucking ok ie i cant stand sausages i think theyre disgusting) #i say opinion but its more like preferences ??? or likings idk i dont speak english #but anyways leave me and my imitation of a chicken the fuck alone #i dont even eat meat imitations mostly because i dont have the money but anyways #sorry im so mad #theres this girl on tiktok i love that makes vegan food and shes the sweetest but meat eaters in her comments are always being idiots yk #i usually dont comment on it because im conflict avoidant and meat eaters will keep saying stupid shit so its better to just nod #and also i dont have the energy to do that lmao theyre draining #sorry if i generalized its not my intention ik not all people are like this #also yalls jokes arent funny #like when u see someone with a mini pig as a pet and ask if theyre gonna eat it once is fat enough #thats actually disgusting #would u eat your dog ???? #anyways 🙄 #another also no one's making you go vegan or whatever #fuck those type of vegans but not because i dont eat meat i will wash your brain into thinking/feeling like i do #eat whatever the fuck you want just dont bother me and let me eat whatever the fuck i want too #ok now im done #i think #cami.txt

[fuckedurbias]

enemies to lovers (but not really) - yoo kihyun

genre: angst + smutty af

requested? nope

word count: 7.7k !!!

warnings: cursing, alcohol mentions, the smut is dirty af i can’t put it all in a warning oop

A/N: i made kihyun basically a bully and a giant asshole but ik he’s a soft baby and a lovely boy but i just have a lot of pent up feelings towards him, i can’t admit my feelings for him so i just use hatred as an excuse okay its a personal problem. pls dont hate me!!

You couldn’t get rid of him no matter how hard you tried. It was hard enough that he was involved in your close friend group and you had to see his face often, but he also genuinely enjoyed seeing you get so heated over the mere sight of him.

“For once, for once can he be working when we hang out or I don’t know… maybe just not be invited?” You groan, angrily looking out the window of Changkyun’s car with your arms firmly crossed.

“Look we can’t just not invite him, he’s still our friend. It’s not our fault neither of you can stand each other, you’re lucky either of you get invited to these things do you really think any of us want to deal with the never ending bickering from you two?” Changkyun shook his head, dreading the thought of all the arguing he’s going to have to deal with tonight.

“He starts it! You really expect me to just take his little digs at me?” You huff.

“He only does it because he knows for sure you will fight back; I’ve told you this how many times? Hell, he’s told you that himself yet you still give him the reaction he wants, if you just ignored him he’d stop” “I really doubt that” You mumble, staring at the road ahead. Changkyun never beats around the bush with you, but that is why he was your best friend, both as feisty and fiery as each other. It is probably a bad dynamic since you both just feed off each others intense vibes and don’t hold back with others who aren’t either of you, who often can’t handle such honesty and bluntness. Most times you love Kyun being honest with you, but times like this; when talking about the person who makes your blood boil more than anyone else, you really hated it. Maybe tonight you will take Kyun’s advice and ignore Kihyun, just to prove him wrong when Kihyun continues to terrorise you and he can finally get all the blame he deserves.

As soon as you got out of the car you could see your group of boys through the big window at the front of the restaurant, sitting on the table right next to the window as per usual. Thank god they were all talking and too preoccupied in looking at the menus arguing over what they were going to order to notice you and Kyun walking in. There is seriously only 1 whole brain cell in this goddamn group and it belongs to you. Without you they wouldn’t get anywhere. You hide behind Kyun as you enter, both so Kihyun won’t see you and pester you before you even get to the table and so you can see where he is sitting before you reach the table and plan how you will avoid him as much as you can. You and Kyun reach the table and stand there silent for at least 30 seconds before any of them notice you, they were really going at it between themselves. Sitting on the wall side was Minhyuk, Kihyun, Jooheon & Hyungwon. Facing the rest of the restaurant and their backs to you and Kyun right now was Shownu and Wonho, sitting on the side closest to the window with the two free seats for you and Kyun next to them at the end of the table. Finally, Hyungwon turns around from watching the other three boys argue next to him to see you and Kyun standing there, staring at them with the biggest look of disapproval on your faces. He smiles and nods, nobody else noticing you. Minhyuk, Kihyun & Jooheon were all arguing over what food they wanted to get and Shownu was asking them, practically begging them all to just settle on either one meal or one meat option each for the barbecue otherwise it would end up being too much money and not all of it would be eaten anyways. Wonho was just disassociating on his phone. Kyun clears his throat, still no response, so he just sighs and pulls out the seat next to Shownu, leaving you to sit on the end of the table across from Hyungwon. He knew you would appreciate that, wanting to be as far away from Kihyun as possible, but two people down from you on the other side was still too close. The other 3 boys on the other side all look up when they hear the chairs being pulled out, nod at you both and go back to their food issues.

“Look, you three need to shut up for a moment and we need to ask these two what they would like now. So you three need to settle your issues ASAP otherwise this will just end up like last time” Shownu demands, tone very clearly desperate. “I’m okay with anything, I just want food” you say, which earns a smirk and a loud nose exhale from Kihyun, whatever that was meant to mean you had no idea and you didn’t really care to know. You didn’t even look his way, focusing on the menu Shownu handed to Kyun.

“Same for me, as long as you get some kind of beef for the barbecue I don’t care. Also as long as you three stop arguing so I can eat quicker” Kyun says, handing the menu back to Shownu. The other three pout and huff, settling on a meal and a barbecue option amongst each other. You’re rather shocked Kihyun hasn’t made a single dig at you yet, this is a new record for him, but you put it down to him being more concerned about his empty stomach for the time being. Hopefully when the food arrives he’s too busy scoffing food down his throat to be bothering you.

As per usual, Wonho ended up being the barbecue dad as he put the first load of meat onto the barbecue the sound of the satisfying sizzle filling your ears and everyone was happily digging into the dishes. The last dish arrives and you gasp in excitement and try to quickly finish your current food so you can grab some of the new one before all the boys finish it first with their bottomless stomachs. “Woah, relax and stop acting like a pig. The food won’t go anywhere” Kihyun laughs, widening his eyes at you in a mocking way.

“Kihyun what the fuck? Mind your own business and back off, dude” Kyun snaps.

‘Ah, here we go’ you think to yourself. You feel that pang in your stomach, wanting so badly to snap back at him instantly but you remember the car ride and decide to stay quiet. For some reason what he said this time actually hurts you. Why? You’re not sure, you hate it, you feel weak. You feel like running to the bathroom to hide the hurt that you’re pretty sure is showing clearly on your face, especially since you usually snap back instantly. You ignore Kihyun, don’t even glance at him and just continue to grab yourself a nice amount of the new dish and place it into your little bowl, trying your best to eat it without looking too upset. A few seconds later, Wonho finishes cooking the beef and takes everyone’s bowls and gives them a fair amount of it before putting the next load of meat on.

“Are you okay?” Hyungwon asks you quietly, leaning across the table. “Yeah I’m fine, just really tired from all my classes today” You give him a soft smile and a nod, appreciative that he actually checked up you even though you hate that it’s clear you are upset.

“Ah okay, I was worried that you we- “

“How has everyone’s week been?” Minhyuk yells from his end of the table, largely exaggerating the loudness of the restaurant chatter and music.

“We’re all University students, how interesting could any of our weeks have been?” Jooheon replies, beef stuffed in his mouth. “Well I’m sorry I’m just trying to make fucking conversation since none of you have made an attempt to” Minhyuk snaps, gesturing his hands out to everyone around the table and then clasping them together.

“Jooheon are you trying to imply that you actually go to class and spend your time outside of class actually studying?” Wonho says, not even glancing up as he turns over all the meat. Everyone on the table cracks up laughing.

“Hey! I was not implying anything, even if when I don’t go to classes; which I do most of the time by the way, I just stay home which still isn’t interesting… and I do study!” Jooheon leans back against the wall, arms firmly crossed with a grumpy pout on his face.

“It’s okay Joo, I think staying home and watching Netflix… or studying and going to class like you apparently do, is a lot more interesting and entertaining than being one of those students that goes out all the time and constantly gets drunk, high and is basically brain-dead 24/7” You say, stuffing the meat in your mouth into your cheeks.

“You can’t really say that when you’ve never been to even ONE party since you’ve started at University, you wouldn’t have any idea of how it’s ‘not fun’ or what fun even is. You just go to class every day and study and then stay cooped up in your dorm every weekend like a complete loser,” Kihyun doesn’t even breathe once, “oh and please, don’t talk with your mouth full”. Minhyuk whacks the back of Kihyun’s head, looking at you with sorrow. You felt your blood pressure rising, wishing so badly you could split his chopsticks in half and shove them up his ass. However, you just sat there looking down at your now empty bowl trying to hide how red your face now was and your throat closing up, feeling like you were going to cry out of frustration. If he made one more mean comment you were certain you were going to snap, and by that you mean snapping those chopsticks in half and sticking them where the sun doesn’t shine; which is absolutely nowhere near Kihyun.

You guys had finished all the food and were now having a nice catch up, telling each other the funny happenings that had occurred within the last month and a bit that you hadn’t met up properly as a whole group. The conversation though, had drifted to Changkyun, Wonho & Minhyuk ganging up on Jooheon and telling you all stories about the embarrassing things Joo did in high school.

“I cannot believe you did that!! When you were Vice Captain?! In front of the entire school board?!” You screamed.

“Don’t forget that it was a whole school assembly, too! He really just whipped out a little impromptu ‘hip hop dance routine’ in front of the whole school and the school board, you should’ve seen the look of pure horror on the Vice Principal’s face. He got in so much trouble for that and almost got his position taken away” Minhyuk said with a shit-eating grin.

“You’re the one that promised me if I did that you’d pay for my lunch everyday for the rest of the semester, it’s your fault!” Joo whines.

“And I did didn’t I? So why are you complaining?” Minhyuk sasses. “BECAUSE YOU’RE SITTING HERE TELLING EVERYONE ABOUT AN EMBARRASSING THING I DID BUT IT WAS YOU WHO MADE ME DO IT MAKING ME LOOK LIKE I DID IT OUT OF MY OWN ACCORD!”

“Because it’s a funny story, and I didn’t force you to, you had the choice to say no”

“NO YOU DIDN’T GIVE ME A CHOICE STOP LY- “

“Okay enough you two children” Shownu interjects. If he didn’t stop them now this would continue for way too long, they’re worse than you and Kihyun.

“Oh my gosh wait, Wonho! What about that time you told Minhyuk you’d give him $50 if he licked the swing-set” Changkyun gasps with the sudden memory.

“Wow, yes! The chain handle part”, Wonho laughs “and he actually did it and ended up in the nurse’s office because he instantly got really sick and had to stay home for the rest of week!”. Everyone bursts into laughter.

“Hey I don’t regret a thing, that $50 was worth it. I bought some sick gym shoes with that money” Minhyuk smiles. You were in tears with laughter.

“Man I wish I knew you guys in high school, you seem like you were even funnier and dumber back then” You cry.

“Hey, me and Kyun weren’t and aren’t dumb it was and is just those two” Wonho acts offended. You really do wish you knew them back then; it would’ve definitely made your dull high school life a lot brighter. You’re grateful you know them now of course, they make your stressful, overwhelming University life a lot more bearable. You and Kyun were both Literature students, Minhyuk, Hyungwon & Shownu all Dance & Performance students and then Joo & Wonho were Music Production students, where they met Kihyun as he is a Music Performance student and they work together a lot. The boys that already knew each other from school brought along their friends that they met in class who didn’t have friends to hang out with yet, and then you all became a close nit group and all friends with each other separately… well, except for two of you.

“I don’t know Wonho, I’d say you’re also pretty dumb” You say slowly with a sneaky grin, “are we not going to address that very dumb, embarrassing thing you accidentally did in class no less than what, two weeks ago?”. He looks at you confused.

“Remember, Jooheon messaged the group chat instantly screaming out of secondhand embarrassment?” You push.

“Oh- OH GOD yeah we aren’t going to address it remember I asked specifically for nobody to ever talk about it again that’s why we haven’t spoke about it and won’t” Wonho blushes, “it was very traumatic for me and I removed it from my brain and now you’ve reminded me and now I’m going to cry myself to sleep tonight”.

“But you admit that you are pretty dumb, right? At least sometimes” You laugh.

“Are you serious? You’re straight making fun of him for something that he seems genuinely humiliated by and didn’t ever want to talk about again. That’s so rude why would you joke about something like that?” Kihyun snaps at you before Wonho can reply. You feel that pang in your stomach again, genuinely taken aback.

“Dude chill, I know she was just playing around. I was also joking, it’s not that deep” Wonho replies, glaring at Kihyun. You slam your hands on the table and stand up, staring at him like you’re about to stab him with the barbecue scissors. The rest of the boys stare at you in shock, expecting you to rip into him. Instead of doing that like you wanted to, you just turn around and walk out the door of the restaurant, quickly wiping away the tears that are falling out of your eyes.

You sat on the bench outside the restaurant, far away from the window where the boys sat so they couldn’t see you. Your elbows are propped up on your thighs, with with your face resting in your palms and you’re staring at the ground. Your tears are dried by this point but you know if you think too hard they will fall again; which your brain keeps trying to do but you refuse to let it, you will just think of nothing. Your phone keeps vibrating and you know its probably one of the boys - most likely Kyun, trying to text or call you but you really don’t want to talk to any of them right now. You’ll just get the bus or train home later. Suddenly, you feel someone’s hand on your back as you see them sit down next to you. It was Changkyun.

“Hey” He says quietly. You don’t reply.

“Just so you know, before you even got out the door we all let Kihyun have it. For real, none of us are okay with what he was doing tonight it was ridiculous and not okay at all” Kyun grabs your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. You reciprocate.

“He was a straight bully tonight; it wasn’t even just the typical little petty digs they were actually mean, especially since you weren’t fighting back. I’m sorry for saying that he only does it because you react, you should’ve defended yourself” He rubs his thumb over the back of your hand.

“I- I tried to but, for some reason I just didn’t… I couldn’t. I wanted to tear him to shreds but my body just wouldn’t follow through” You choked out, tears welling up in your eyes again.

“It’s okay, just know that none of us boys are okay with what he did tonight and I mean you saw us defending you when you were there. We’ve made sure he knows that he won’t ever be allowed to come out with us again if he’s going to pull that again” Kyun looks into your eyes, making sure you know that he’s serious. You smile up at him, feeling so cared for and loved as a tear falls from your eye. It was a happy tear. Kyun wipes it off your cheek with his free hand.

“Come on, I’ll drive you home” Kyun stands up in front of you and helps you up.

“Thank you, Kyun”, You say, looking up at him for a few seconds before wrapping your arms around his torso “I know we joke around a lot and fight, and I know you find affection gross but, I really do love you a lot and I’m so grateful for you” you silently cry into his chest. Thank god he’s wearing black.

“It’s okay, I love you too. Also I don’t find it gross, alright, just too much of it but at times like this it’s nice” He says. You giggle as he softly pokes your cheek, keeping his hand locked with yours as he walks you to his car.

Changkyun had actually convinced you to come to a party, you don’t know why he wanted you to go, but he did. All the boys were going to be there why did he need you there? He said it was just to get you out of the house so you can clear your mind and forget about your worries for a bit, but you weren’t convinced that was the only reason why, but it was all he would tell you when you would press for an answer. It’s not that you didn’t like parties - you did, it was more the people that were going to be there, doing drugs and all the guys that will try and get in your pants just for the sake of it rather than actually being interested in you in any way. Anyways, you decided to go for the reason he said, just to get yourself out of the house and you hadn’t had a good party in a while and a reason to get all dressed up (totally nothing to do with the reason that you knew Kihyun would be there and you wanted to prove to him that you can have a fun time). You planned your outfit in your head for days in advance, and you were so happy when it actually looked great on you and by some miracle your makeup cooperated with you and came out beautifully, too. You look hot, you’d 100% fuck yourself if you were someone else. You actually feel good about yourself and excited for this party, it really is a miracle. You weren’t going to let anything… or anyone ruin your night. You’re spritzing yourself with perfume when you here the beep of a car outside, you immediately know it’s Changkyun. You grab your bag and do one last look over of yourself in the mirror; taking a quick selfie or two, or three, and then quickly running out of the door while Changkyun beeps at you to hurry up. You run outside and while you’re trying to lock your door properly Jooheon starts beeping the car horn repeatedly, you flip him off as you watch him start laughing his ass off in the front seat. Once you lock your door you quickly walk to the back door, hearing Jooheon still laughing before you even open the door. Shownu gets out of the car so you can sit in the middle.

“You’re such a child! it really isn’t that funny” You frown, climbing into the middle seat.  Jooheon lets out a ‘hoo’ as he wipes a tear away. “I think it was hilarious” Jooheon breathes, relaxing back into the passenger seat.

“She’s right, it really wasn’t” Shownu agrees as he gets back in the seat next to you and shuts the door. Wonho and Changkyun both agree with you and Shownu. “Fuck you guys” Jooheon pouts. Changkyun turns up the radio and reverses out of your driveway. You were really excited for this party.

The music was blasting; you could feel every part of your body vibrate with the bass. It had been about 2 hours since you arrived and you were pretty tipsy, borderline drunk. You had lost sight of any of your friends, the boys, classmates or friends you made literally 5 minutes ago at this party. You’re lost in the music and the tingly, happy feeling that was overtaking your body, you’re dancing the night away, along with any worry you had about anything in your life prior to coming to this party. At least you were, until you feel someone tap you on your shoulder; which you ignored because you thought you were imagining it, and if it was real you wanted them to leave you alone because you were having fun. Unfortunately, it is real and they keep persisting so you turn around angrily. You immediately scrunch your face up in disgust. It’s Kihyun.

“I need to talk to you” He slurs, grabbing onto your shoulder for support as he almost trips onto you.

“No you don’t! Fuck off” You say in a matter-of-fact tone, immediately smack his hand off you. You storm off, Kihyun following behind you.

“Please! It’s important, please just let me do it I can’t wait until next month when I next see you to talk to you, please” He begs, yelling in your ear over the music. “Then don’t. Simple” You snap back. You walk fast, pushing through the crowd of people struggling to make it through them without tripping over, the effects of your last drink starting to push you past tipsy. You’re looking for even one of the boys or just anyone to help get Kihyun away from you, which is really hard in this state and with Kihyun hot on your trail trying to plead with you. You see Minhyuk watching a game of beer pong; cheering and being even more loud than usual. You quickly run up to him and pull on his sleeve.

“Minhyuk please help me”, you look at him with big puppy eyes “Kihyun keeps saying he needs to talk to me, he won’t leave me alone and is practically harassing me, please help”.

He looks down at you, then behind you to Kihyun, then back to you.

“Oh yeah, we all told him he should talk to you”, your face changes to one of utter confusion “you should listen to him, he wants to apologise because he genuinely feels horrible. You don’t have to accept it but I think just listening to him would be good for the both of you”. You look offended, how could the boys just do that to you? After Kihyun did that to you and made you feel like complete and utter shit? Why would you ever want to listen to him or talk to him again?

“You know that I’m always honest with you, I understand why you don’t want to talk to him or listen to him – I wouldn’t want to either if I were you, but I really think it would be good for both of you to talk out your differences and it would be better for all of us, too. As someone who loves drama, I really want the both of you to just talk shit out and at least be civil. You don’t have to forgive him but just listen to what he has to say, please” Minhyuk slurs, looking you dead in the eyes. The fact he was being so wise in this intoxicated was really saying something. You sighed, he was right. Even if you just ended up hating him more, maybe he was actually genuinely sorry and would stop being an asshole from now on. You may not forgive him, not for a while, but at least you could possibly work towards being… friends?? You turn to Kihyun, seeing him looking pretty pathetic looking at you with such pleading eyes. You take his hand and guide him through the crowd in attempt to find any kind of empty room further away from the pounding music. You doubted you would have any luck though.

Even a wardrobe would suffice but you were really struggling to find an empty room of some sort. If there wasn’t already someone passed out on the bed, throwing up in the bathroom there was a couple (or more) getting up to frisky business – and obviously you couldn’t ignore any of those situations to talk to Kihyun without disturbing what was going on in the room… or disturbing yourself with the latter. You go upstairs and most of the rooms are again, taken, but you finally come across one at the end of the hall that isn’t. You half sigh, half yell a ‘finally’ and drag him in the room, locking the door behind you. You’re so relieved to be able to finally let go of Kihyun’s hand, turning to stand in front of him with your arms crossed over your chest.

“Well?” You gesture for him to start; he just looks at you with a very vacant expression on his face and you sigh in annoyance.

“Are you going to tell me what you begged me to listen to you for? This is your only chance and I suggest you don’t waste it” You tap your foot, already getting impatient. He perks up like a little puppy, suddenly remembering what he was here for.

“Oh, right. I-uh, just wanted to apologise for the other night. I was a real asshole and there’s no excuse for the things I said and did, it wasn’t even banter or petty things like it usually is it was straight bullying and I feel horrible when I remember it. I don’t even know why I kept going after you didn’t react or respond the first time, but it doesn’t matter; point is, I’m sorry. I’m really, really, sorry” Kihyun rambles, slurring and struggling to find the right words.

“Okay. Are you happy now? That I listened to… that? Will you stop harassing me? Can I leave now?” You say barely even acknowledging his apology, you really did find it pathetic and couldn’t bare to be alone in a room with him any longer. You started to walk towards the door but Kihyun stopped you.

“Are you kidding me?” He questions angrily, grabbing your arm to stop you from leaving. You frown and smack his hand off you.

“What?” You snap.

“That’s it? You can’t even acknowledge anything I said?” He says, seeming actually hurt. “Well I for sure am not forgiving you, what else do you want me to do, Kihyun? Because I really can’t even stand being alone in this room with you right now” You try to push past him but he won’t budge.

“You don’t have to forgive me; I just want to know you actually listened to me” He says surprisingly calm. He looks like a kicked puppy and you feel so fucking strange seeing Kihyun look anything but cocky and angry for once in his life.

“You’re being ridiculous, Kihyun. Of course I listened to you why would I bring you all this way, struggle to find a room for us to use for 5 seconds to not listen to you at all? Especially if seeing you so desperate to apologise to me brings me such joy?” You say it as if you were explaining it to a child, dragging out that last sentence especially longer. You see Kihyun’s expression changing to the usual one of anger, god you’re getting so much enjoyment of having the higher ground right now.

“Not to mention”, you walk closer to his face “that ‘apology’ was nothing short of just, plain pathetic”. Using your finger to put the quotations around ‘apology’, you have the biggest smirk on your face. Kihyun runs his tongue over his cheeks as he steps closer to you, inches from your face. You don’t cower one bit, in fact you look him dead in the eyes as you chuckle.

“Pathetic?” He questions, looking down at you.

“Hopeless, pitiful, miserable, plain fucking shit or whatever you wish to call it, really” You reply, not even trying to hide your enjoyment. You barely finished your sentence before Kihyun turns you around and slams you into the wall, arms either side of your head. He did it so quickly you’re actually shocked, especially since he’s drunk and his reaction times are meant to be slower.

“You’re really, really fucking pushing it” He whispers, spacing out his words to make sure you’re perfectly understanding how angry you’re making him. “And? As if you’re going to do anything about it” You scoff, arms crossed over your chest. You refuse to show any sign of intimidation, though you actually are quite shocked right now. His gaze doesn’t move from your face, he’s breathing heavily and you hate this tension surrounding you both right now, its silent apart from the screaming of everyone outside and the muffle of the music downstairs. You see Kihyun’s gaze fall to your lips for a second, so brief that you wondered if it was even real or if you were making it up.

“See, I knew it. You’re not going to do anything because you’re just as pathetic as that apology wa-” Before you can even finish your sentence Kihyun slams his lips into yours. Your eyes are wide, part of you wants to push him away but an even bigger part of you refuses to back down. You slide on your hands to his hair, entangling your fingers in it and pulling harshly, he moans in response. He deepens the kiss, a hand on your neck and a hand on your back, pulling you closer to him. You slide your tongue against his lip and he responds by sliding his tongue in your mouth, refusing to let you take even the tiniest bit of dominance. You bite and pull on his lip as you pull away, breathless. You lean your head back on the wall as he starts leaving kisses along your jaw, moving down to your neck. Your hand is still pulling on his hair and your other one is latched onto his shoulder. His hands move down to your ass, squeezing it.

“You better not leave hickeys, we’re not high schoolers” You whisper. He lets out a scoff as he moves his hands down to your thighs, signalling for you to wrap your legs around him. You do so, kissing down his neck to his collarbones as he moves you to the bed. He throws you onto the sheets, you open your legs as he slides his body in between them. You start making out, even more heated than before, your lips and tongues moving in sync. Kihyun moves his hand up to your hair, pulling on it as you whine and press your hips up into his, he grinds down against you in response. You slide your hands under his shirt, digging your nails into his chest and he groans as he continues grinding into you harshly. His hand that is on your hip slides down your thigh, moving it up and around his back as he pulls away from the kiss, breathless and he sits up to slide his shirt off. For fucks sake, why does he have to be so attractive yet so annoying.

“Are you going to actually do anything or just continue to play around?” You pant, staring up at him. Before he can answer or do anything in response you flip the both of you over so you’re now straddling him. You roll your hips over his crotch a few times, feeling his bulge very prominently through your panties under your skirt. He tries to flip you back over but you put your hands on his shoulders and give him a look that makes him fall back and give up. You slide your shirt off, revealing your cute, lacy bra that you always wore to these kind of occasions in case you did get some action and would look at that? This time you actually did. You give Kihyun a passionate kiss on the lips and pull away quickly to start kissing down his jaw agonisingly slow, he accidentally lets a little whimper slip as his eyes flutter shut which makes you giggle softly, he’s actually cute when he’s needy. You then move to his neck, then his chest, then his stomach all the way down past his belly button and stop at the hem of his jeans. He snaps his eyes open as he looks down at you with dark eyes and you just bite your lip and give a bratty smile in response. You don’t break eye contact as you undo his belt, pulling it out and throwing it on the ground to then unzip his jeans and yank them off. You walk your fingers up his thigh, stopping just before you reach his bulge.

“Stop teasing or I swear to go-” He growls, you started palming him through his boxers before he even finished his sentence and he ended it in the cutest whine you’ve ever heard. You smile as his hips snap up instinctively at even the tiniest bit of friction as you slowly palm him, curling your fingers to fit around his shaft. He has one hand gripping the sheets and another around the headboard, he’s trying to keep his hips still but is really struggling to not roll against your hand. You decide he’s had enough teasing for now and stop palming him to pull down the waistband of his boxers, pulling them all the way off. His dick snaps up as soon as the boxers are off it, hitting his stomach and he grunts at the sudden contact of air against his throbbing cock. Once his boxers are discarded, you wrap your hand around the bottom of his shaft and start to pump him, flicking your wrist as your hand moves up and down. Kihyun immediately snaps his hips up, breathing out a ‘fuck’ as he watches you through half close eyelids. You hate to admit it but, he looks so pretty right now. Precum is already starting to leak out of his tip, so you bring your mouth to it and slowly lick it off with the tip of your tongue. Kihyun throws his head back with a choked moan as you slowly circle your tongue around his tip, you place your lips around and suck harshly, never stopping the movement of your hand. His hand gripping the sheet starts feeling around for your head, gripping onto your hair and trying to push you down so you’d take him in your mouth.

“Keep being pushy and I will stop everything and walk out of this room” You snap. He immediately loosens his grip on your hair and you go back to sucking on his tip again, flattening your tongue as you slowly take him in your mouth. Kihyun grunts and bites his lip hard, trying to stop any kind of moan from slipping out. He looks down at you as you’re bobbing your head up and down, bringing your hand up to meet your lips as you pump him at the same time.

“You know, if you weren’t so annoying I’d say you look so hot right now” He says, struggling to speak without it coming out in a moan. You roll your eyes, he was very dumb to say that because you are literally sucking his dick and could bite it off at any moment… but he also implied that you look hot, which sent tingles right down to your clit. You removed your hands and moved your mouth all the way down to the bottom of his shaft, almost gagging as he hit the back of your throat. His grip on your hair tightens again and he guides your head up and down, your grip hard on his thighs as you try not to gag. You’ve hollowed out your cheeks and flattened out your tongue as you suck along with your head movements.

“I’m so close” Kihyun breathes, the muscles in his lower stomach visibly tightening. You remove his hand from your hair so that you can fasten your pace, bringing your hand back in to pump him again. He throws his back, cursing repeatedly and you feel his dick twitch in your mouth. Right as he reaches the peak of his high you take him out of your mouth and remove your hand, sitting up on his leg to watch and relish in his agony.  His head snaps up as his face darkens immediately.

“Oh baby, you are going to regret that” Kihyun coos, the way ‘baby’ rolls off his tongue unsettles you and causes a very hot feeling in your core.

“Don’t call me baby” You command, returning his dark gaze. He sits up and pushes you down on the bed, your head hanging off the end of the bed. He reaches his hand down under your skirt, pressing his index finger hard along your slit; applying the most pressure where your clit is. You bite your lip, whining a little.

“Wow you’re already so wet and I’ve done absolutely nothing” He says cockily. “If you’re really going to be this cocky already you better be bloody good” You snap, rolling your hips against his finger. He chuckles and nods, fair argument. He starts to rub your clit through your panties, making you gasp at the sudden movement. He uses his other hand to unclasp your bra and slide it off your arms, he throws it to the side and immediately starts to kiss and suck on your tits. You run your hands through his hair as he assaults your chest and clit at the same time. He moves your panties to the side and slides his index and middle finger into your hole, moving his thumb to your clit. You let a loud moan slip, his fingers curling right up to your sweet spot. After he’s pleased with the pretty bruises he’s left all over your tits he slides his lips down your body until he’s at the hem of your skirt. You lift your head up to watch him, he smirks up at you as he slides his other hand under your skirt to the hem of your panties, pulling them down your thighs slowly. Knowing what was about to come gave you such a restless rush in your core. You kicked your legs, ushering him to hurry up and he smiles at your desperateness, he pulls them off one leg and holds your other leg up and slides them off. Once discarded, he bends your leg over his shoulder and he lays back down on his stomach, lining his head in between your legs. He starts to kiss up your thigh, stopping for a split second as he reaches your heat before lifting your skirt over his head. He then uses his fingers to part your lips as he licks a stripe up your slit. You arch your back, both hands moving to his hair immediately. He doesn’t waste a second before he starts kissing and sucking on your clit and his fingers return to pumping themselves in and out of your entrance. All the pleasure from when he was only fingering you before returns and intensifies, not having to catch back up to where it was before. At this rate you will be coming within seconds. You pull on Kihyun’s hair as you push your hips down to his face, begging for more. He flicks his tongue against your clit rapidly as he curls his two fingers up into your g-spot at the same pace, making you scream. You have to swing one hand over to the sheets to grip tightly otherwise you were afraid you’d explode. You hated that you were about to come this quick, but you just put it down to waiting for your turn for what felt like hours. You don’t tell Kihyun that you’re close because you already know what he will do, so you just don’t say anything and hope you come before he can stop. He starts sucking on your clit and feels it throb as your walls tighten around his fingers, he decides to let you build it up even more before he stops. You start panting and whining, curses falling from your lips as your eyes squeeze shut. He feels your thighs and muscles tightening around his head and once your hips start to rise more against his face, he stops and pulls his head back out from under your skirt. You don’t realise for a few seconds but once you do you immediately sit up and try to kick him, but he just smirks and slides you over to the top of the bed on the pillows. He wastes no time in pumping himself and lining himself up in front of your entrance, you look down, wide eyed. You didn’t expect this, but you hate how much you want it. He slides himself in with a groan, and you wrap your legs around his hips. He snaps his hips into yours and leans his head into your shoulder as he starts thrusting. The thrusts are deep and at a moderate pace, not wanting to go too fast just yet. Your high already starts building up again, your nails are digging into his shoulders, but with the sweat and movement of his body with his thrusts they start slipping and leaving deep scratch marks down his back. He hissed at the stinging sensation of the scratches coming into contact with the air and saltiness of his sweat, he loved the light pain of it. You couldn’t even moan as you felt like you were about to burst, just whine and whimper, trying to grab back onto Kihyun’s shoulder when your nails reach the end of his back. You tighten your thighs around his hips as your walls tighten around his cock thrusting into your g-spot. Your back arches as you start panting and whimpering, Kihyun holding onto the headboard to be able to reach you deeper. He has his forehead against yours, eyes shut tight as he tries so hard to maintain. You finally come undone as your walls throb around him, pushing him closer to his high. You’re moaning what sounds like his name amongst other things, which is secretly driving him crazy in the best way possible. While you’re still in the middle of your orgasm Kihyun flips you over, shoving your face into the pillow which catches you by surprise. He pulls your hips up with him as he gets up on his knees and starts to thrust faster, hitting you from a new angle but still so deep and so sweet. Your walls are still clenched tightly around him, not coming down from your high but rather building a new one from where you were just at which you really aren’t sure if you can handle. Kihyun licks his fingers and starts to rub your clit with his four fingers, sending unfathomable pleasure straight to the deepest part of your core. You push your hips back against him as you shove your face deeper into the pillow and grip the pillow until your knuckles turn white, about to cry from the pleasure you’re feeling everywhere. You’re sure you’re about to explode for real this time. You let out a muffled scream into the pillow as you come again, your body shakes as it rocks through your whole body. Kihyun’s thrust become sloppy as he feels your walls throbbing against him and sees your juices dripping down your thighs and it pushes him over the edge, he rubs your clit a few more times as he reaches the peak of his high. Before he ejaculates he flips you back over so he can come all over your chest as he pumps himself empty. He’s letting out low moans as he looks down at your face, loving how fucked out and flushed you look. Once he’s all empty he falls back onto the bed next to you.

“I think I win that one” He sighs, breathless. You just turn to look at him, your expression unreadable. You struggle to get yourself up, going blind as you try not to fall on the floor after getting up and hold onto the bed for balance. You walk to the bathroom to clean yourself up, using toilet paper to clean up your chest, noticing all the hickeys but not complaining about them. You brush your hair out neatly with your fingers and wipe off your smudged lipstick and use another bit of toilet paper to dab some sweat off your forehead and face. Once you’re satisfied you walk back out into the bedroom to see Kihyun hasn’t moved, you start to get dressed back into your clothes. Kihyun watches you, not saying anything and you’re glad he isn’t. As you walk past him to leave the room he stops you and grabs your wrist.

“I really am sorry, though” He smiles softly. You snap your hand away harshly.

“You’re going to have to do better than that”

#mnstx #monsta x #mx #monsta x scenarios #mx scenarios #monsta x smut #mx smut #monsta x imagines #mx imagines #monsta x angst #mx angst #kihyun smut #kihyun scenarios #kihyun imagines #kihyun #yoo kihyun #shownu #wonho #minhyuk #hyungwon #jooheon #im #hyunwoo #son hyunwoo #lee wonho #hoseok #lee hoseok #shin wonho #shin hoseok #lee minhyuk

[pact-ideas]

 Your home is the beautiful hidden city of Leira a haven for the wood elves to hide away from the cruelty of the outside world, each house was made from the wood of a different tree and the city was warded away from the rest of the world by a magical forest that never let anyone through its majestic depths, life in Leira was peaceful as it had been for a thousand years

you fucking hate it

ok maybe not the peace, the peace was nice everyone can agree that peace was if a little boring generally a good thing but.... well.... ok first of all that magical forest thing works two way no one can leave. ever. this didnt stop you trying when you were little you used to take off into the forest determined to see what was at the other side but no matter how hard you tried or how you navigated or how long you were walking or anything you always ended up back in Leira it was always the same you would end up right back at home and your mother would brush the twigs out of your hair and say how “silly” you were to get lost in the forest it made you indescribably angry but you didnt even understand why

growing up in this place was a nightmare, Leira was created by melora the goddess of nature so as you can imagine the culture of leira was pretty heavily dedicated to sucking her metaphysical dick, everyone’s a vegetarian and natures roams free throughout the city which is nice and all but when your late for school and you get stuck behind a 20 ton bear it easy to loose your fucking patience and it not like you want to kill an animal or anything but your desperately curious to know what meat tastes like. one night there was a big wild fire and a bunch of birds got roasted in the flames and yeah it was sad and all that but my god the SMELL! it was amazing and theres no way you can ever get any kind of meat since theres no privacy anywhere in the god damn city, you live with your family and streets are ALWAYS busy with people and even in the rare moment when theres no other elves around theres always some kind of nature around and since most of the elves if the city can speak to animals your pretty sure if you did anything too sacrilegious it would be reported before you could say “barbecue”. and the people ugh the FUCKING PEOPLE you mother keeps nagging you and telling you off for regecting all your sutiors but in fairness your not really regecting 8 or 9 suitors your regecting one because EVERYONE HERE IS THE FUCKING SAME THEYVE GOT LONG FLOWING HAIR THEYRE SLIM AND DELICATE LOOKING THEY WRITE POTRY ABOUT NATURE AND THEY PROBABLY PLAY THE FUCKING PAN FLUTE.

ok what the fuck is up with pan flutes theyre anoying to play and they dont even sound good why cant we just bang some fucking sticks together and make some real noise!

and the worst thing about it is that everyone you have ever met god damn loves it here if you go to a town elder to ask about if people can get through the forest he just pats you on the head and says some shit like “dont worry little one no outsiders will ever get in” and you have to fight back the urge to scream beacause NO LORENCE YOU DONT GET IT but you just nod and smile because if you say anything than you get branded as even more of a fucking outsider than when you decided to tie up your hair for the first time.I mean by the GODS what is wrong with tying up your hair? ugh you know whats wrong with it in Leria elves belive that hair should flow out beautifuly and naturally its common for full adults to have hair that reaches the floor and some elders employ neighbourhood kids to pick up their hair after them when they walk so it doesn't trail behind them on the ground but whoever decided that elvish hair was contantly elegant never seemed to be able to get your hair to obey. your hair constantly got caught on buttons and jackets and even door handles! your hair is only down to your waist and its already the biggest nuisance in your life you cant imagine it reaching the floor and always getting stepped on so one day you had had enough, you got some twine and tied up your hair you thought it looked pretty good but when your mother saw it for the first time my god it was like you were dying she asked what was wrong if you needed some kind of help and after she hear that your hair was getting in the way she decided to spend three hour THREE FUCKING HOURS brushing it which is not only fucking painfull but its the kind of stupid bullshit you were trying to avoid when you tied it up in the fucking first place. eventually people got a little more used to you tying up your hair there was always a limit there was always a “oh honey grannies coming round for dinner so dont you think you should take down your hair?” and its like ..... why? but becuase theyre your family you dont question it and let your hair down but secretly you think that maybe granny wouldnt mind it if you could eat without accidentally getting stray hairs in your mouth every....single...time you took a bite to eat.

buuuuuut theres some hope theres a legend of a warrior with a great connection to nature who must leave the safty of the city and defeat a great evil in the outside world and your determined that that person will be you you got to the libary at noght and read books on the outside world and FUCK it sounds so fucking interesting so different  so god damn DIFFERENT you read about beings who live between dimensions and every single member of there race is completly different to each other every single one is entirly unique some are good some are evil some have physical forms some are made of gas and some of them are just a mad pile of limbs I mean can you imagine? the very idea of beings like that sets you mind ablaze and your determined to meet one but the fucking problem with that is the the legendary hero is suppose to be able to connect with nature and you... struggle with that. you call out to the trees to obey your commands you try to connect with the animals and you appeal to the elements but nothing ever works its so fucking frustrating this is your only chance of leaving the city and you can even begin to make progress everyone in the city at least has SOME connection to nature there are toddlers that can make flowers bloom and you cant even bend a branch. everyone teacher youve ever had tells you not to give up and to keep trying and that you just need to look deep down withing yourslef and find the connection you dont know is there but that just bullshit the reason you can connect with the trees is because deep down you dont WANT to connect with the trees you know it and the trees know it why cant anyone see?everyone in the world from your teacher to your parents tyo the town elders to the fucking animals seemed to think that your just one attitude adjustment away from being a perfect happy elf “keep trying” they say “you’ll get it eventually” all your fucking life youve been hearing that but you know what? you dont want to be a perfect elf with long hair and a dozy smile you dont want to be the hero who connects with nature and is celebrated as the perfect figure you dont want to be here anymore! you want to eat meat and wear clothes that dont make me look like a plant obsessed ballet dancer and fight people with your bare hands and play the drums and do whatever you want with my hair and be FUCKING FREE

you sneak into the library the books your looking for is old and worn but within it is the ritual that you need. The great one Uthuctarr is surprised to be contacted by an elf but you get along like a house on fire. soon the terms of the pact are agreed you have the pentagram scrawled onto the library floor in chalk all you need to seal the pact is a part of your self, most people use blood but you have a better idea, you take out the dagger you stole, its carved out of bone it was used by ancient elves to hunt in the days when the world was new, functionally the bone dagger is everything the elves of Leira stand against but they couldnt destroy it without discrediting their precious history. its perfect, you undo the twine holding your hair and let the blond mass fall forward over your face. with your left and you grab a clump of long blond hair near the base and with your right you take the blunt bone dagger and cut. you hand is not steady and your hair is thick but that doesnt stop you and soon a huge chunk of blond mess falls away into the centre of the pentagram. you pause for a moment thinking about what youve just dont and you realise you can feel the night hair against your ears and in all you life youve never felt anything more divine you begin to laugh, truly laugh. not at a joke or out of politeness but out of pure unfiltered joy. quickly you grab another clump and get back to work. after a few more minutes of frenzied cutting your finally free of you long messy STUPID hair, you gather the hair into the centre of the pentagram and step back. suddenly all on its own the hair bursts into dark blue flames, the small is awful, you love it, from the fire a tiny thread of blue flame pushes out of the flame and begins to weave its way out of the library though the city and into the forest the locals are mystified but you know whats happening after all these years you are finally being shown the path out of Leira.

#pact ideas #eldritch #pact #elf #elves #dnd #dnd 5e #character idea #wow this was long #warlock #anger #family #long post #loooooong post #im sorry for the people who have to scroll through this #lovecraft #lovecrafian #rebelion

[killerqueenjoy]

99 Question Tag

okay okay I know i got tagged to do this like a month ago on my main blog by @santonicababy iM SORRY LIN ILY BUT THIS WAS SO DAMN LONG

1) DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED

I sleep in the room where everybodies closets are and they all gotta be closed goddamn do you know how spooky it is to even have one open during the night

2) DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS

my parents do, but alas I don't use them in case they have silicones or sulphates in them because I got a whole lotta curls to protect

3)DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

if this refers to the sheet protecting the mattress, then my answer is in because how the fuck would you be able to sleep with that moving around???

4) HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE

NO SORRY IM BORING

5)DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST IT NOTES

heck yeah, but for random shit

6) DO YOU EVER CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM

nee my parents are fancy fuckers who use the coupons on their phone (our local supermarket has a damn app skskksksk)

7) WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES

a bear because its one giant son of a bitch and not millions of tiny motherfuckers and also I've never been stung by a bee and intend to keep it that way because majority of my family seem to be allergic

8) DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES

nope! I have a couple beauty spots on my hands and face but thats kinda it

9) DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES

not really but if I've been told to smile then its 200% dead inside

10) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE

i find many things annoying

11)DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK

only when i go up and down stairs, but i also try to make sure i step with each foot equally (if that makes sense) and i step on only certain colour tiles when im bored

12) HAVE YOU EVER PEED IN THE WOODS

the real question is have i ever been in the woods? both answers are no

13) HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS

refer to question 12

14)ummmm idk what this question is meant to be curse you Lin

15)DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS

nope, the idea weirds me out

16) HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK

none, this week and in general

17) WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED

one person and a long yet smol doggo size

18) WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK

Eddie from the Rocky Horror Picture Show has been stuck in my head for the whole week so yeah i guess that

19)IS IT OKAY FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK

HeLL YEAH DUDE HAVE YOU SEEN RAMI MALEK IN PINK

SKSKSKSKS END MY LIFE

but yeah, anyone can wear anything they want to wear (although a suit made out of meat might not be wise)

20) DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS

dudeeeee scooby doo and tom and jerry are my jam I watch them on the regular (among other things)

21)WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE MOVIE

uhhm idkkkkk I tend to repress bad movies sksksk

22)WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME

idk shove it in the closet ig at least it will be hidden behind my sexuality

23)WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER

I usually only drink before or after but ig water??? cooldrink if I'm in a restaurant

24)WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN

depends on the nug

25)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD

How dare you assume i only have one favourite

tbh it depends cos i love pizza and pasta and stuff but then i cannot live with my granny's curries ksksmks

26) WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE

borhap, sing street, rhps, the natm movies, the harry potter movies, any mcu movies

27)LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU

ahhahahahahahha bold of you to assume anyone wants to do that

28) WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT

nope but I was a catrobat which is basically my preschools acrobatics team that was actually really terrible

29)WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE

nahh m8

30) WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER

this week for a transactional task at school (It was in Afrikaans and I got a C skskskks)

31)CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL IN A CAR

omg no

32)EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET

not old enough to drive!

33)EVER RAN OUT OF GAS

my parents never have for as long as i can remember

34)WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE KINDA SANDWHICH

cheese because I am actually John Deacon

35)BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST

MUFFINS!!!!

36)WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME

school nights its 11pm otherwise i dont have one lol

37)ARE YOU LAZY

YES BUT MY LAZINESS MAKES ME ANXIOUS OOF

38)WHEN YOU WERE A KID WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN

we dont celebrate that here but i rly want to it seems fun!

39)WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN

Ram, which is really cool because im an Aries, so I'm sheep squared

40)HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK

English, Afrikaans (at a basic highschool level), I could speak very vERY basic isiZulu when I was younger but I'm not sure about now, I know a bit of French and Telugu, and I'm gonna start learning Hindi soon!!

41) DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS

nee

42) WHICH ARE BETTER, LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS

i didn't play much with legos and i have no idea what the second one is rip

43)ARE YOU STUBBORN

to an extent

44)WHO IS BETTER, LENO OR LETTERMAN

I kept reading Leno as Lenin ffs

45)EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS

I watch them occasionally with my granny, but I don't keep up with them very well (Kasamh Se is my shit tho)

46)ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS

no, im afraid of falling in general tho

47) DO YOU SING IN THE CAR

My dad and I bop frequently to Never Gonna Give You Up in the car, and also classic bollywood songs (we have even learnt the choreography for some)

48)DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER

i perform

49) DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR

well theres not exactly much space

50)EVER USED A GUN

nope

51)LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER

not sure

52)DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY

most are but thats why i like them

53) IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL

we don't celebrate because we're not Christian (we still eat a lot and exchange presents tho), but it can get stressful if we have to visit extended family, mostly because my extended family loves to insult everything about me so thats great!

54)EVER EAT A PIEROGI

not i good sir

55) FAVOURITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE

never had one, it doesnt appeal to me

56) OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID

a vet

57)DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS

i am a ghost

58)EVER HAD A DEJA-VU FEELING

not that i remember

59)DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY

yes, I take a multi vitamin, a vitamin D pill because I'm vitamin D deficient, and im not sure if this is a vitamin or not but i take evening primrose oil so that im not outwardly a bitch due to pms

60)DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS

i wear slipper socks, because my doggo got jealous of my doggie slippers and murdered them in cold blood

61)DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE

i have one and rarely use it because i forget it exists

62)WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED

a random shirt and pants, though ive been known to kick pants off (ive been doing that since birth), occasionally i manage to get the matching pj set

63)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT

ive unfortunately never been to a concert before

64)WALMART TARGET OR KMART

ive never seen any of these stores in my country

65)NIKE OR ADIDAS

i own neither

66) CHEETOS OR FRITOS

neither

67)PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS

Peanuts because thats my doggos name!

68) EVER HEARD OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN

no sorry

69)EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS

i went to a bhangra class for about a year, and we performed for our parents at the end of that year (i was in one of the few groups that didnt have to dance in lehengas thank goodness)

70)IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE

YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING

probably something creative, but I don't mind as long as they're happy with what they're doing and its not harming others!

71)CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE

yep

72)EVER WON A SPELLING BEE

never entered one, having to spell out loud makes me anxious

73)HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY

i think so

74)OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS

nope

75)OWN A RECORD PLAYER

i wish

76)DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE

my granny burns incense while I'm at school because my mom and i both get really sick when its just been lit and the smell is strong. Going to the temple is a damn nightmare because of it

77)EVER BEEN IN LOVE

no, too busy fangirling

78)WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT

oof a long list

Queen, Twenty One Pilots, Waterparks, Frank Iero and the Future Violents (ffs fronk stop changin the name), Panic! at the Disco...to name a few

79)WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW

refer to question 63

80)HOT TEA OR COLD TEA

both

81)TEA OR COFFEE

coffee

82)SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES

sugar cookies

83)CAN YOU SWIM WELL

i wouldn't drown, but im no professional either

84)CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE

im doing it right now

85)ARE YOU PATIENT

eh

86)DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING

I've only ever been to Hindi,Tamil and Telugu weddings and lemme tell you 90% of the time bands flop at those weddings because they can't sing the classics without failing miserably, so DJs are generally better. However, in that case, if a band can perform those songs, then I'd prefer a band ig

87)EVER WON A CONTEST

yep, a couple of reading contests

88)HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY

nope, not planning on it

89)WHICH ARE BETTER, BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES

dont like olives rip

90)CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET

i can knit!

in fact, my friends and i are so cool that we're in our schools knitting club (which besides myself, @grandfunnyemopainter and @imjustabruh , only has 2 other members)

91)BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE

lounge or study/library

92)DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED

i guess, its not on my goal list tho

93)IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED

no

94)WHO WAS YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH

currently in highschool, and in love with the borhap cast, sebastian stan, stephanie beatriz and band members (theres more but yeah)

95)DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY

nope, i have only two ways to deal, be a total pushover or a total bitch

96)DO YOU HAVE KIDS

nope

97)DO YOU WANT KIDS

kind of undecided, but i do want more pets

98)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR

Dark Blue

99)DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW

my dog, shes been ignoring me for about four hours now because I stayed at school for an extra hour (for knitting club!)

@softspaceboibrian @roger-taylor-owns-my-wigg @im-inlovewithmycar do it cowards

[lillianwrites]

Sad Hearts And Black Eyes (chapter 3)

A/N: It took me so long, but the new chapter is officially here, hope you all enjoy!

Words: 3,524

When Daniel and Phil got back to the old motel, it was dark and cold outside, not a single person outside walking, hell, there was barely anyone in cars. Phil had told Daniel on the drive back his real name, and how he got into the hunting business, and surprisingly Daniel had took it well, whispering a small “Phil” in that voice that just drove Phil crazy. He didn't think daniel was aware of how attractive he really was, and that was amazing to Phil.

The motel beds were old and dusty as Phil sat down, it made a creaking groan under the pressure, but Phil paid no mind to that as he gestured to Daniel to the other bed, before pulling his phone from his duffel bag and dialing the number on his favorites.

“Whatcha need boy-” He heard Bobby say, the slur of his voice a familiarity to Phil.

“Bobby, i'm done in Kingston, i was working a case with a preacher getting killed by a demon, then this ghost showed up, heading after his son since the mother was dead and he was the only close relatives. Just finished this one up and i was hoping i could possibly head down there, visit and check in on a few things.” Phil said, getting up with a huff and beginning to pace around the small motel room. To his left, Daniel was looking through a book Phil had left sitting on the desk in the corner, it contained every known fact and legend on Wendigos, and how to hunt and kill them.

He heard Bobby sigh through the phone, and then the rough voice was saying “Boy you know damn well you are welcome here anytime. We got Dean, Sam, and Castiel down right now actually, and Ellen and Jo will be here by tomorrow, so you'll get to see everyone. Dean says he needs to kick your ass again.”

Phil laughed, happy to hear his family was there and he would get to see them. But something was keeping him from being excited, because Daniel was now a part of his life, and for whatever small reason, the thought of never seeing, or even just leaving Daniel for a day, scared him.And that scared him even more, he's never felt like this before, ad he wasn't sure what to do with the new feelings.

He looked over, to where Daniel Had put the book down and was now looking at Phil with a strange expression. God Phil had to be careful, he could get lost in the soft feature s of the boy, with his pretty brown eyes and permanent rosy cheeks, and wow he needed to answer Bobby.

“sounds great Bobby, i'm gonna pack up and then get some sleep. See you tomorrow morning, bye.”

The sound of the phones dial tone filled the air as Phil looked up again and met Daniels eyes, and Phil was positive there was sadness inside those eyes.  They looked at each other and Phil wasn't sure what to say, how to say bye, how to say anything at all. How was he to say goodbye to the person he only just got.Yet he couldn't say that, Daniel wasn't his, Daniel wasn't his to hold, kiss, or do other things that aren't so Hallmark channel friendly. Phil was confused on his next move, until he remembered a quote his old elementary school teacher had told him.

“Sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage, and i promise something great will come of it.”

“Come with me.” Phil said standing up and walking over to Daniel. Daniel looked at him, shocked and confused. “What? Where? What are you talking about Phil?” He asked looking up at Phil through those eyelashes, and yeah, Phil could live with having to protect him for the rest of his life, if it meant looking into those eyes forever, wow was he being lame.

“Come with me, i'll keep you safe, travel with me.” He said looking at Daniel, scared to what the boy was going to say, he was looking ta Phil with a strange expression, but he didn't look disgusted, so Phil was going to take that as a good sign, so he decided to continue.

“I mean, obviously just because it's dangerous out there for you now, i could protect you, you could come with me, you'd always have a place to stay, food to eat, and i would make sure you're okay. Plus, it gets a bit boring out here alone.” He finished. He was pacing now, looking at his suitcase, before looking back at Daniel, who was grinning in the slightest.

“Okay, yes god i'll go with you, but what will i tell everyone? Wouldn't it be suspicious?” Daniel asked, looking up at Phil before standing up, admittedly not adding much height, but better than being at Phils knees.

Phil thought for a minute before nodding “I'll talk to the police station, say i'm taking you to your close relatives, then we just leave, they won’t question me.” He said. He watched Daniel nod, so he said “Go ahead and pack.” before packing a few of his things, so excited but also scared that Daniel was going to be with him. It was unbelievable to believe he had caught emotions for someone who wasn't even trying, he wasn't wearing lingerie and calling him names, he wasn't offering sex or booze, he was just being Daniel, and god did Phil find that attractive. One could hardly blame him for wanting to bend him over the table an do blasphemous things to him. Yet Phil couldn't, he doesnt think he could be the one to ruin something so pure and soft.

Once the two were finished packing everything but the clothes for tomorrow, Phil headed over to the light switch, getting ready to turn it off, but Daniel was walking over, eyes nervous as he stopped in front of Phil. “Phil, could i know more about you? I'm kinda scared to just leave with someone when i've known them for forty eight hours, and only just learned their name.”

Phil wanted to just grab Daniels face and squish it, but he wanted to keep up his reputation, he was Phil Lester, strippers across the nation remembered his name, bartenders and cops, he's saved more people single handedly, than the entire FBI, why was he being a giant fucking sap over some barely not jailbait kid? What was he to do however? Half of him, the better part of him, wanted to see where this could go, see if this could crush could actually be something more than Phils dick talking, but the other part just wanted to shut it down, dont let it bloom because a flower could catch on fire, and turn into a wildfire so beyond controllable it hurts people. Phil didn't want to fall victim to that fire. Feelings were Phils worst attribute, he wasn't like Dean, he didn't have a brother to punch him when he was being an unsensibe

Phil wasn't sure what part to listen to, and he didn't know if he even had a middle ground, god this is what Bobby meant when he said they had as many emotions as a potato. Daniel was staring at him now, eyes brown and slightly untrusting, and god Phil never wanted to see Daniel afraid, most definitely not of him. Sighing he walked over to the bed and sat down, gingerly patting down the spot next to him. Maybe he could spare a few facts if it made Daniel happy.

“well, what would you like to know?” he asked, watching as Daniel slowly walked over to him and sat down. The boy paused for a moment, before saying “Why did you become a hunter?”

Phil forze for a second, not sure how he was going to explain the story. “When my dad died, i took over.” he said, hoping that was a good enough answer. Daniel nodded, before asking another question. “Why are you really letting me go with you?” This one however, Phil didn't know how to answer, sap or asshole, no middle ground. he waited another moment before saying “Look kid, if you stay here alone, you'll be dead meat. I don't wanna see you hanging off some tree dead, or with your guts on the floor. You wouldn't last a day now that monsters know you're out there.” He finished. Asshole it was.

Daniel paused, and Phil could see the shining in the boys eyes, most likely from the reminder of how his father died. Letting out a soft sniffle, Daniel nodded his head, getting up and heading to turn off the light before Phil heard the other bed creak, and then silence. Phil sighed getting under the covers, it was gonna be a long night for him.

____________________________________________________________________________

By the time 10:00am rolled around, Phil was exhausted, and Daniel was almost back to sleep, even after being woken up three times. The sun was beyond bright through the white curtains,and he was so tired he honestly didn't know if it would be safe to drive. He had stayed awake all night, wondering what was going to happen now, they would go to Bobby's, stay there for a day or two, find a hunt, and life would continue on, they would go on, and be normal, well except for Daniel, Phil would teach him how to deal with it, how to protect himself,but he would never ask him to hunt, Phil doesn't know what he would do if he got used to Daniel, only to have him ripped apart by the very thing that took every Phil seems to care about.

When Daniel finally rolled out of bed with a huff, Phil grabbed his duffel bag and went to the car, throwing it in the trunk, before going back into the room and and doing the same with Daniels suitcase. When he was finished, he walked in yet again, this time to Daniel stepping out, fully dressed, but with wet, curly, and unruly hair. He looked over at Phil, before putting on his shoes, and nodding at Phil, whispering a small “I’m ready.” before he was walking out of the room and to the car. With a sigh, Phil looked around the room, before joining him, to Bobby's they went.

____________________________________________________________________________

The drive was awkward, to say the least, they rarely spoke, but thankfully, Daniel liked the music Phil had on, so there wasn't a problem with just driving, riding, and listening. By the time they hit the junkyard he calls home, it was close to 12:00pm, and Phil could feel his eyes weighing down. He pulled the car in, smiling at the 67 Chevy Impala sitting next to them, if he hadn't had such a damn good car, he'd be jealous of Deans baby, alas his car was the best in his opinion, and nothing could convince him otherwise.

Phil opened his door, stepping out and wincing at the brightness, he heard the other door open and then close shut with a slam. Daniel stepped over, eyes scanning around, clearly nervous and unsure. Phil tried to tell himself it was the new surrounding and not being with Phil that made him hold that look.

Deciding he wanted to make amends, Phil held his hand out, trying to ignore the look he got before Daniels small and soft hand fitted into his. He heard him take a deep breath, before Phil was walking them to the door, and knocking with three hard thuds. He heard yelling in the house, before fast footsteps, and then dean was there in front of him, cat grin on his face as he immediately pulled Phil into a gigantic hug. “Whats up Philly?” He asked.

He finally pulled back, and realized there was someone standing next to Phil, looking awkward and scared, ready to run almost. He gave him a strange look, but before he could say anything, Phil was explaining, he really didn't need Dean asking questions with his fat mouth.

“This is Daniel, i helped him with a ghost problem yesterday, he's gonna ride with me for now on.” He said, not liking the look in Deans eyes, as he began to open his mouth however, they heard heavier footsteps, and then Sam was pushing Dean away, and Pulling Phil into an even bigger hug, and damn, when did he get taller than Phil? Daniel must have felt like a goddamn fairy compared to sam, and for all he knew, he probably actually did.

“Dean leave them alone,come in, Bobby's in the living room, calling the world a bunch of idjits again.” Sam laughed out, before leading them inside.

The house smelled like he remembered, like old beer and salt. They walked through the house and into the living room, where Bobby was sitting, staring at Castiel, who looked equally confused, you'd be surprised how often this actually happens. When Bobby and Castiel saw sight of them, they both stood up and walked over, Castiel letting Bobby go first. The last time he had hugged Bobby, he was worried he wasn't going to see him again,with everything happening with the apocalypse, he wasn't so sure either was going to see each other again, the world was going crazy, so he enjoyed the hug, and let himself close his eyes, taking in that all his family was still alive. Once Bobby let go, he shook castiel's hand ‘that strange angel’ before he was looking around to Bobby.

“Wheres ellen and jo?” He asked, looking at  the people around him. Bobby shrugged, looking at his phone. “They should be here by the hour, if not i'll call and make sure they're okay. Now, who is this?” He asked, looking at Daniel, who stood scared, arms crossed over his chest.

“He’s the pastor's son, Daniel, we've decided he's going to travel with me, i hope you don't mind him staying with me here, we’ll be heading off most likely by tomorrow, since i've been meaning to go see a old client for a while.” Phil said, smiling when Bobby nodded, holding his hand out to Daniel, who shook it awkwardly before offering a small smile.

When everyone had calmed down, they all sat down to watch some tv and chat, but by the time an hour had passed, Dean was getting up and walking over to him. “Hey man, can we go for a walk.” He asked, and when Phil nodded, they headed outside, leaving everyone inside. As they got out of the door, Phil became worried, because Dean didn't usually offer to talk, it was always sam, so dean must be worried about something.

____________________________________________________________________________

They had made it to the gate, before Dean finally said anything. “So, there's nothing happening, going on between you and that kid in there?” he asked, looking over at Phil. Phil shook his head. “I won't lie, i want there to be, but he's so young, and he's so innocent, i'm not that good at feelings. How do you date someone who knows a hellhound ripped your father shred to shred? He's just so different man, it scares me, i don't want to get close and have something happen to him.” Phil explained, letting out a sigh.

Dean nodded, placing a hand on Phils shoulder as he stopped walking. “Look, i suck at feelings, ask literally anyone, you know that, but what i will say is that kid looks at you for everything, maybe dont date him right now, maybe see if there's something there, and if there is, let it grow, but man, if you do like me, and you just ignore it, you'll regret it, i promise. Just don't be stupid okay?” and with that, the boys headed back inside. Phil Wasn't sure why Dean brought him out here, to have this talk, but if anything, maybe he was right, maybe in time this could be something, but first, he needed to know if there was anything.

____________________________________________________________________________

When Dean and Phil walked back through the front door, they saw castiel and Daniel sitting on the couch, Daniel Laughing and saying something to cas, While Bobby and Sam sat on the loveseat, handing each other cards.

Phil walked over to Cas and Daniel, Who paused their conversations to look up at him with smiles on their faces. “Daniel, could i speak to you for a minute please?” he asked, holding his hand out to daniel, who looked up at his through his lashes before taking his hand. Once Daniel was up, Phil was dragging him upstairs, to the second bedroom, where they were staying. The old furniture reminded Phil of when he would spend weeks here, a rowdy teenager sneaking out to go talk to the girls down at the drive in.

When the door was safely closed, Phil turned around, looking down at Daniel,at the way the boys chest rose, and the way his eyes seemed to flutter, almost too delicate for Phil to believe he was real. He stepped closer to the boy, the height difference becoming more prominent, but Daniel didn't seem to understand, as everytime Phil got closer, he would back up, eyes growing confused as his back met the wall, barely two inches separating his body from Phils.

Phil finally spoke up after a minute or two of staring at the boy and his lips. “Daniel, if you don't want this, you need to say something now.”

The look on Daniels face was something Phil swore he would see for a lifetime, the boys head fell back, exposing his pale neck, and his eyes fluttered shut,a soft sound falling from his lips before a breathy and soft “Please.” And god Phil didn't need anything else in this world.

With a newfound power he didn't even know he had, he had Daniel in his arms, his small legs wrapped around his waist, and his back slamming back into the wall. His mouth was on his, wet, hot, and powerful, and man if Phil didn't feel like a god with the noises falling from Daniels lips, almost like a prayer to the older man. He couldn't stop himself with Daniels tongue wrestling his own, the boy gave in so easily, so submissive, he’d let Phil do anything to him.

Slowly, Phil was backing up, spinning Daniel around, and then they were falling, Phil on top of Daniel as the soft bed encased Daniels back. Daniel was moaning, and Phils moth was making its way down, and god it was so good, Phil didn't know how he had survived, Daniel was pliant underneath him and Phil was sure this is what heaven felt like.

Phils mouth made its way down Daniels neck, and as he landed under Daniels ear, the boy let out a loud moan, he threw his head back, and suddenly he was speaking. “Phil ah, da- oh, please, please i need, hnng”

“what did you say Daniel, what didn't you finish?” Phil asked, smirking down at Daniel, he didn't expect that word to try coming out out the boys mouth, but he was not complaining. Phil watched as the Daniel let out a soft “Please.” before whispering “Daddy, please!” and who was Phil to deny someone so beautiful.

They continued to make out on the bed, their hips occasionally clashing, but soon enough Phil was panting into Daniels neck, kissing it softly before getting up. Daniel Made a confused noise, getting up to look at him, and how was Phil Meant to make this choice? But he knew what Dean said, he needed to wait a minute, needed to make sure he wanted this, that Daniel wanted this, it was just to early, they only just met, so with a sigh he began to speak.

“I think we need to think about this, about me, and you, and if either of us want that, and then we’ll talk, okay?”  He asked, watching Daniels face as it contotrered into sadness, into anger, and suddenly he was getting up, glaring at Phil.

“you have some nerve! You come in here, make out with me, and then all of a sudden, you're worried about thinking? I haven't known you long Phil Lester, but i can tell you thinking before isn't your forte so what the hell are you on about? I'm not a kid god! I can think for myself, i'm an adult, i wouldn't have said yes if i didn't want this!” He yelled, his glare getting harder as he stepped closer to Phil, angrily pointing his chest.

Wow, Phil was not expecting that from the usually quiet and submissive boy. He was expecting him to cry, and then gree, bit i guess that was daniel to prove him wrong.

“It's not happening Daniel, thats the end of it.” he finished, holding his face in a hard look, before turned around and walked out of the room, ignoring the sigh from behind him.

#lilysfics #phanfiction #phanfic #phanfic au #phandom #supernatural #phan fluff #phan smut #phan angst

[adambstingus]

Ask A Pro: Does Birthday Sex Count As A Present For My Boyfriend?

Dear Head Pro,

I read your advice like its my life and you always seem to know what to do. I’ve been seeing this guy for a little over a month and our relationship is exclusive hookup/borderline dating — we’ve been out on one official date and have spent a lot of time together. His bday is coming up super soon and I have NO IDEA what to get him. I really want it to work out between us (i.e. don’t want there to be any pressure because that does more harm than good) and don’t want to get the wrong thing and disappoint him/freak him out. I also don’t want it to look like I’m trying too hard but want to make sure I show the right amount of effort. He knows I like him but I’ve never actually told him that. He is super generous to me and I don’t want him to see what I give him as me being cheap. Do I go for the sexy or sweet? What should be my budget? More importantly, given our current stage in the relationship what is the most appropriate gift to give? Plz help, I’m dying here.

Xoxo, Birthday Sex or what….

Dear Sure, Why Not,

Man, birthdays are really fucking weird, when you think about it. They make sense for children — kids are dumb and dont accomplish anything and thus are largely (and rightly) ignored, so its nice to let them have a special day once in a while. But as adults? Its like, Congratulations, you made it another 365 days in a first-world country without dying! Lets all go out to an annoying group dinner (split checks plz). Adding sex to the equation makes it even weirder — My vagina is available to you on demand, but how about I get you something youd ACTUALLY like?

I dont think the needlessly delicate nature of your relationship matters (as an aside, if youre hanging out and fucking on the reg and yet you think telling him you like him will torpedo the relationship, stop and think for a minute about what that says about him). It should be somewhat personal, and should reflect the fact that youre in an intimate relationship — an Applebees gift card aint gonna cut it, not that it ever does. As for budget, that depends on where you are in life. If youre broke-ass college students, Id say keep it under $50. If youre real adults, keep it under $100.

My vote is a nice bottle of booze, his favorite if youre privy to that information. If youre in college, replace nice bottle of booze with a case of beer thats not Natty Light. A girl I was dating in college got me one of those once (Miller High Life — THE CHAMPAGNE OF BOTTLED TEARS), and it was at least two weeks before I dumped her and started fucking someone else. Otherwise, get him a bottle of scotch, actually go out for dinner, and maybe let him touch your butthole or something.

Feliz Cumpleanos,

Head Pro

Hey Head Pro,

I recently moved to a new city where I didn’t previously know anyone for grad school. I’ve made some good friends at school, but its been pretty boring (read: nonexistent) on the guy front and I don’t want to shit where I eat since 1. grad school is basically high school all over again and the rumor mill is an active one, and 2. I spend enough fucking time with these people and it would be nice to date someone outside the bubble.

Any tips on how to meet people thats not a blackout at a bar situation or on a dating app? I’m also super busy with school so it’s not like I’ve got plenty of time to dedicate, but I’m going a little crazy from boredom so I need some sort of remedy. Help me with your infinite wisdom!

Bored in the Bubble

Dear Bubble Girl,

Christ, what grad school do you go to where its basically high school? If thats the case, can we all stop putting on airs and and accept grad school for the tremendous time- and money-suck that it is (unless you intend to add a PhD to the end of your name, that is)? This is the endgame of the stupid educational arms race were experiencing, where every mouth-breathing townie feels like they have to have an advanced degree to qualify for a job as a bank teller. There are still ditches that need to be dug, yknow?

Anyway, Im a little baffled as to how youre unable to meet people on a college campus in a major city. If I found myself in that situation, I would literally die from sexual exhaustion, and probably flunk out of my Masters in Organic Social Community Building. WORTH IT. Youre also doing that fun thing where you expressly state that you arent interested in taking advantage of the convenient resources that most people appreciate (i.e., bars, dating apps and your social circle). Thats like saying I dont believe in killing animals and I dont like the taste of meat, but I want a hamburger — please advise.

Since Im assuming youre on or near campus, there are probably about 1,000 groups, clubs and activities you could get involved in. There are also recreational and intramural sports, if youre the sporting type. Unfortunately, anything like that is going to demand some of your time (which youll have plenty of after your first year, if you dont already), but again youre sour on the resources that dont. What do you do for fun? Do you paint? Jog? Write? Yoga? Act out erotic Scream Queens fan fiction in your living room? Whatever it is youre into, I guarantee theres a like-minded group of students (both grad and undergrad) who are into the same things.

That will entail mixing your personal hobbies with your love life, but sometimes you have to make some compromises to get what you want in life — like going to grad school, for instance.

Scholarly Kisses,

Head Pro

Head Pro is required wants to answer your questions about life, love and birthday sex. Email him at [email protected] for advice.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/ask-a-pro-does-birthday-sex-count-as-a-present-for-my-boyfriend/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/172055697002

[samanthasroberts]

Ask A Pro: Does Birthday Sex Count As A Present For My Boyfriend?

Dear Head Pro,

I read your advice like its my life and you always seem to know what to do. I’ve been seeing this guy for a little over a month and our relationship is exclusive hookup/borderline dating — we’ve been out on one official date and have spent a lot of time together. His bday is coming up super soon and I have NO IDEA what to get him. I really want it to work out between us (i.e. don’t want there to be any pressure because that does more harm than good) and don’t want to get the wrong thing and disappoint him/freak him out. I also don’t want it to look like I’m trying too hard but want to make sure I show the right amount of effort. He knows I like him but I’ve never actually told him that. He is super generous to me and I don’t want him to see what I give him as me being cheap. Do I go for the sexy or sweet? What should be my budget? More importantly, given our current stage in the relationship what is the most appropriate gift to give? Plz help, I’m dying here.

Xoxo, Birthday Sex or what….

Dear Sure, Why Not,

Man, birthdays are really fucking weird, when you think about it. They make sense for children — kids are dumb and dont accomplish anything and thus are largely (and rightly) ignored, so its nice to let them have a special day once in a while. But as adults? Its like, Congratulations, you made it another 365 days in a first-world country without dying! Lets all go out to an annoying group dinner (split checks plz). Adding sex to the equation makes it even weirder — My vagina is available to you on demand, but how about I get you something youd ACTUALLY like?

I dont think the needlessly delicate nature of your relationship matters (as an aside, if youre hanging out and fucking on the reg and yet you think telling him you like him will torpedo the relationship, stop and think for a minute about what that says about him). It should be somewhat personal, and should reflect the fact that youre in an intimate relationship — an Applebees gift card aint gonna cut it, not that it ever does. As for budget, that depends on where you are in life. If youre broke-ass college students, Id say keep it under $50. If youre real adults, keep it under $100.

My vote is a nice bottle of booze, his favorite if youre privy to that information. If youre in college, replace nice bottle of booze with a case of beer thats not Natty Light. A girl I was dating in college got me one of those once (Miller High Life — THE CHAMPAGNE OF BOTTLED TEARS), and it was at least two weeks before I dumped her and started fucking someone else. Otherwise, get him a bottle of scotch, actually go out for dinner, and maybe let him touch your butthole or something.

Feliz Cumpleanos,

Head Pro

Hey Head Pro,

I recently moved to a new city where I didn’t previously know anyone for grad school. I’ve made some good friends at school, but its been pretty boring (read: nonexistent) on the guy front and I don’t want to shit where I eat since 1. grad school is basically high school all over again and the rumor mill is an active one, and 2. I spend enough fucking time with these people and it would be nice to date someone outside the bubble.

Any tips on how to meet people thats not a blackout at a bar situation or on a dating app? I’m also super busy with school so it’s not like I’ve got plenty of time to dedicate, but I’m going a little crazy from boredom so I need some sort of remedy. Help me with your infinite wisdom!

Bored in the Bubble

Dear Bubble Girl,

Christ, what grad school do you go to where its basically high school? If thats the case, can we all stop putting on airs and and accept grad school for the tremendous time- and money-suck that it is (unless you intend to add a PhD to the end of your name, that is)? This is the endgame of the stupid educational arms race were experiencing, where every mouth-breathing townie feels like they have to have an advanced degree to qualify for a job as a bank teller. There are still ditches that need to be dug, yknow?

Anyway, Im a little baffled as to how youre unable to meet people on a college campus in a major city. If I found myself in that situation, I would literally die from sexual exhaustion, and probably flunk out of my Masters in Organic Social Community Building. WORTH IT. Youre also doing that fun thing where you expressly state that you arent interested in taking advantage of the convenient resources that most people appreciate (i.e., bars, dating apps and your social circle). Thats like saying I dont believe in killing animals and I dont like the taste of meat, but I want a hamburger — please advise.

Since Im assuming youre on or near campus, there are probably about 1,000 groups, clubs and activities you could get involved in. There are also recreational and intramural sports, if youre the sporting type. Unfortunately, anything like that is going to demand some of your time (which youll have plenty of after your first year, if you dont already), but again youre sour on the resources that dont. What do you do for fun? Do you paint? Jog? Write? Yoga? Act out erotic Scream Queens fan fiction in your living room? Whatever it is youre into, I guarantee theres a like-minded group of students (both grad and undergrad) who are into the same things.

That will entail mixing your personal hobbies with your love life, but sometimes you have to make some compromises to get what you want in life — like going to grad school, for instance.

Scholarly Kisses,

Head Pro

Head Pro is required wants to answer your questions about life, love and birthday sex. Email him at [email protected] for advice.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/ask-a-pro-does-birthday-sex-count-as-a-present-for-my-boyfriend/

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from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/03/20/ask-a-pro-does-birthday-sex-count-as-a-present-for-my-boyfriend/

[allofbeercom]

Ask A Pro: Does Birthday Sex Count As A Present For My Boyfriend?

Dear Head Pro,

I read your advice like its my life and you always seem to know what to do. I’ve been seeing this guy for a little over a month and our relationship is exclusive hookup/borderline dating — we’ve been out on one official date and have spent a lot of time together. His bday is coming up super soon and I have NO IDEA what to get him. I really want it to work out between us (i.e. don’t want there to be any pressure because that does more harm than good) and don’t want to get the wrong thing and disappoint him/freak him out. I also don’t want it to look like I’m trying too hard but want to make sure I show the right amount of effort. He knows I like him but I’ve never actually told him that. He is super generous to me and I don’t want him to see what I give him as me being cheap. Do I go for the sexy or sweet? What should be my budget? More importantly, given our current stage in the relationship what is the most appropriate gift to give? Plz help, I’m dying here.

Xoxo, Birthday Sex or what….

Dear Sure, Why Not,

Man, birthdays are really fucking weird, when you think about it. They make sense for children — kids are dumb and dont accomplish anything and thus are largely (and rightly) ignored, so its nice to let them have a special day once in a while. But as adults? Its like, Congratulations, you made it another 365 days in a first-world country without dying! Lets all go out to an annoying group dinner (split checks plz). Adding sex to the equation makes it even weirder — My vagina is available to you on demand, but how about I get you something youd ACTUALLY like?

I dont think the needlessly delicate nature of your relationship matters (as an aside, if youre hanging out and fucking on the reg and yet you think telling him you like him will torpedo the relationship, stop and think for a minute about what that says about him). It should be somewhat personal, and should reflect the fact that youre in an intimate relationship — an Applebees gift card aint gonna cut it, not that it ever does. As for budget, that depends on where you are in life. If youre broke-ass college students, Id say keep it under $50. If youre real adults, keep it under $100.

My vote is a nice bottle of booze, his favorite if youre privy to that information. If youre in college, replace nice bottle of booze with a case of beer thats not Natty Light. A girl I was dating in college got me one of those once (Miller High Life — THE CHAMPAGNE OF BOTTLED TEARS), and it was at least two weeks before I dumped her and started fucking someone else. Otherwise, get him a bottle of scotch, actually go out for dinner, and maybe let him touch your butthole or something.

Feliz Cumpleanos,

Head Pro

Hey Head Pro,

I recently moved to a new city where I didn’t previously know anyone for grad school. I’ve made some good friends at school, but its been pretty boring (read: nonexistent) on the guy front and I don’t want to shit where I eat since 1. grad school is basically high school all over again and the rumor mill is an active one, and 2. I spend enough fucking time with these people and it would be nice to date someone outside the bubble.

Any tips on how to meet people thats not a blackout at a bar situation or on a dating app? I’m also super busy with school so it’s not like I’ve got plenty of time to dedicate, but I’m going a little crazy from boredom so I need some sort of remedy. Help me with your infinite wisdom!

Bored in the Bubble

Dear Bubble Girl,

Christ, what grad school do you go to where its basically high school? If thats the case, can we all stop putting on airs and and accept grad school for the tremendous time- and money-suck that it is (unless you intend to add a PhD to the end of your name, that is)? This is the endgame of the stupid educational arms race were experiencing, where every mouth-breathing townie feels like they have to have an advanced degree to qualify for a job as a bank teller. There are still ditches that need to be dug, yknow?

Anyway, Im a little baffled as to how youre unable to meet people on a college campus in a major city. If I found myself in that situation, I would literally die from sexual exhaustion, and probably flunk out of my Masters in Organic Social Community Building. WORTH IT. Youre also doing that fun thing where you expressly state that you arent interested in taking advantage of the convenient resources that most people appreciate (i.e., bars, dating apps and your social circle). Thats like saying I dont believe in killing animals and I dont like the taste of meat, but I want a hamburger — please advise.

Since Im assuming youre on or near campus, there are probably about 1,000 groups, clubs and activities you could get involved in. There are also recreational and intramural sports, if youre the sporting type. Unfortunately, anything like that is going to demand some of your time (which youll have plenty of after your first year, if you dont already), but again youre sour on the resources that dont. What do you do for fun? Do you paint? Jog? Write? Yoga? Act out erotic Scream Queens fan fiction in your living room? Whatever it is youre into, I guarantee theres a like-minded group of students (both grad and undergrad) who are into the same things.

That will entail mixing your personal hobbies with your love life, but sometimes you have to make some compromises to get what you want in life — like going to grad school, for instance.

Scholarly Kisses,

Head Pro

Head Pro is required wants to answer your questions about life, love and birthday sex. Email him at [email protected] for advice.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/ask-a-pro-does-birthday-sex-count-as-a-present-for-my-boyfriend/