#might take me a month to read

[kyouka-supremacy]

Who in sskk would you say has the higher IQ?

IQ as in, conventionally smart? Then definitely Atsushi does. I'm sorry. I've said it many times before, but I don't think Akutagawa is a particularly perceptive person. Or witty. Or intelligent in general. It's due to external factors, he never got the chance to have anything that could resemble a proper education; but it's also a matter of his nature, he's just so impulsive, and narrow-minded, and stubborn, he really has the thickest skull ever. But seriously, especially in a world full of geniuses, Akutagawa simply doesn't shine for sharpness of mind, and is way too impulsive and instincts-driven to be a person that relies on reflection or rationality. Everything that Akutagawa does is the epitome of irrational, it's one of the greatest appeals of the character.

Atsushi is smart,,,, I've talked about this also, and I think it's less sustained by canon than for Akutagawa, but I like to think he's a very observant and perceptive person whose intelligence doesn't show because he's constantly surrounded by geniuses, but still he is smart. When it come to observations skills, I find it easy for him to hsve them due to his childhood of ill-treatment and abuse: as a defense mechanism, he learnt to be especially observative of people's behaviour in order to tell what setts people off and be able to prevent any escalation, I think that's a widely shared abuse survivor experience. Something among these lines is shown in chapter 51:

I also think Atsushi is a very fast learner. He's observant, and that results in him constantly absorbing other people's knowledge. He's often asking for explanations for Dazai and Ranpo's reasonings, and although I know more often than not it solves an expositive role in the storytelling picture, there's still the fact that it makes Atsushi a person who's constantly trying to understand the reality surrounding him. Atsushi is also shown to be very cool-minded and calculating in fight: from him sliding under Akutagawa and attacking him from behind successfully eluding having to face him front-off in chapter 4, to him retracting his tiger limbs to escape Rashomon's bonds in chapter 12, to the strategy he elaborated with Tanizaki (and his ability to catch up on that) to defeat Lucy in chapter 16, to his attempt to outsmart Fitzgerald in chapter 34 (that, although failed, was still driven by rational thinking nonetheless), and the list could go on. The way in fight Atsushi is shown to ponder over and implement the advices people like Dazai or Mori offered him further makes me believe he's really good at absorbing information. And Atsushi is probably book smart, too! He's compelled by reading to the point he would even risk the orphanage director's punishment just to sneak into the library and read (not explicitly supported by canon, but I can take a guess). According to the second guidebook, he spends his leisure time borrowing books from the library and studying. Overall, he really seem to be rational in all the places Akutagawa is on the contrary driven by impulses¹.

It's like… A physics law when it comes to sskk, that Akutagawa will have the most despicable trait while Atsushi has the trait that is conventionally considered the best; or at least that's as far as my characterization of them goes. Atsushi is beautiful, Akutagawa is ugly². Atsushi is polite, Akutagawa is rude. Atsushi is pure, Akutagawa is stained. Atsushi is smart, Akutagawa isn't. Atsushi is lovable, Akutagawa is destined to cause repulsion in everyone he meets³. In the end, none of this matters: they're no different where it counts, that is, Atsushi isn't any more morally just than Akutagawa is. Atsushi in not any more good than Akutagawa is (I actually suspect the contrary is true). But as far as appearances go, it's still important to portray them as opposites, because Akutagawa being unlovable and Atsushi receiving all the love Akutagawa didn't get for being his contrary - even though deep down they're the same - is almost everything their relationship is about. It's also a big part of why they act like they do towards each other: it's source of Akutagawa's bottomless envy for Atsushi; it's source of how devoted and loyal he will grow to be for him - reaching the point of giving his life for him -, because he can't see Atsushi as anything but perfection. It's source of confidence and of that certain justified hatred towards Akutagawa Atsushi feels because to his eyes Akutagawa is about the worst person to have ever walked on earth. It's source to their wish to annihilate the other as the opposite they can't exist at the same time of. It's the reason Akutagawa had to die, because he's not the good one. Overall it's also expression of Akutagawa's thematic struggle to be good and unavoidable failure at that because of the constraints of a narrative never wanted him to be good.

But I also think they can make it work. Morre precisely, I think sskk can make it work when both of them can overcome and defeat the narrative dichotomy they found themselves stuck into: by recognizing that deep common ground of “we're the same” and that where it matters, in morals, neither of them is better or worse than the other. The Beast universe exemplifies that for us readers, but they don't know Beast, so they'll have to realize it by their own. About that, I think Akutagawa already caught on, because he was faster to call out the hypocrisy of Atsushi's good guy façade, and from that it's a short distance to realizing that, as much as he hates to admit it, at his core Atsushi is not that different from himself. It's taking a little more for Atsushi to realize, because it's harder to get down from that higher moral pedestal he believes himself to be on, but with his whole reevaluating Akutagawa after he stopped killing and sacrificed himself for him (and then saved him again. And then showed him how formidable of a team they are when they find a common ground.), I think he's getting there.

Tl;dr: Atsushi is smart and Akutagawa is stupid and yes it fits their personalities, but way more importantly it's consistent with the themes they carry that translate in what their relationship is like.

¹ For further reading on how Atsushi can be witty, please refer to @/gloomierdays's tags on this post. ² For further reading on how Atsushi and Akutagawa's looks can be used to reflect their characters themes, please refer to this post. ³ For further reading on how Akutagawa being not smart (as far as conventional definitions of smart go) ties to his character themes, please refer to this post.

#Answering this exactly one month late I'm so so so so so sorry #To be fair if I didn't set my mind on writing dissertations for every ask I get I'd probably be able to answer them faster #Seriously again I deeply apologize for taking so long /////// #atsushi nakajima #ryūnosuke akutagawa #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #mine #people asks me stuff #I don't even think Akutagawa likes reading lol. #I think he's so restless and impatient‚ his attention span is really far too low to sit down and read something leisurely. #This might as well be my most fandom unpopular sskk opinion of them all ajkfafliugefligwfkqwjyg

[fleouriarts]

feeling bad about my art lately. will probably not post for a while. but i wanted to at least dump some stuff here before i retreat into my hidey hole

#hivemind tv #riley savage #graydon weaver #hmfcu #quadeca #jane remover #eden burke #my art #2023 #fanart #doodles #its like. augh. longtime fleouriarts followers are familiar with my eternal tango with posting art online #doing this since i was 11 has like rotted my brain and made me rely wayyyy too much on external validation to motivate myself #and every year or so it gets bad enough that i take a break. but the break usually only lasts a month before i miss the feeling #and come back and then the cycle repeats #its probably worse now bc this is a fandom where getting seen by the creators is not really that hard #so there have been times where im like 'well idk if i wanna draw this. but if i do maybe hivemind will rt it :-)' #NO!!! THATS NOT WHAT ART IS ABOUT!!!!! i cant keep letting myself get addicted to the numbers going up man i gotta get out of here #and i was reading a quad interview from around when idmthy got released. cus hes also brain poisoned like this. but he managed to get out #and now just kinda comes online to release music and then leave #i need to be like that. i need to take a break from art posting thats so long that i come back as a changed man odysseus style #idk. its been so long since i drew stuff that no one gets to see but me. all the art i keep to myself is just out of embarrassment #i need to relearn how to draw stuff just for the love of creation and not “maybe people online will like this one” #or “this new thing came out i need to prove my love of it by drawing it” #sometimes it leads to good art but more often than not it just makes me feel worse #whatever. if any of yall are in the hivemind jane or quadeca discord i MIGHT still post stuff there. but otherwise ill keep to myself and m #friends for a while i think #woooooo this is queued to post while im in orgo lab everyone wish me luck with my thin layer chromatography

[the-one-who-lambs]

so. successfully defended my master's. I have some a bunch of revisions to do for my written thesis before I officially have a master's, but I'm very nearly done with it.

I'll be doing research over the summer, but it's not nearly as fast-paced as normal semesters are, and this was a semester in turbo mode. And boy I certainly felt it. I should have a week or so before this semester is officially over, then I'll be able to finish up my thesis and have more time/energy for writing.

I know I've said that updates would be slower than normal this academic year (this semester, especially) and y'all have been very patient with me, so thanks so much. I've still got another draft/revisions to go, but I'm hoping I'll be able to get back to normal Hannah writing mode because I miss averaging 500-1000 words a day lmao

#hannah's rambles #every time I think of fanfic writers who take much longer between updates than I do I'm always like #“I will wait as long as needed!! I will be excited with them! And even if they don't update again I'm so glad to have read their works!” #and when it comes to me im like “hm haven't updated main wip in almost a month I might as well have gone missing” JDLKFGJFDLKGJDF #I've had a REALLY tough semester but there have been so many things keeping me going #And among many others.. getting to share my stories with y'all for this long has been an absolute joy #thanks for coming along on this journey with me (so far)!! whether you've only been here a few weeks or since the beginning

[mayasaura]

ntn spoilers ahead

Question!

I appreciate that you champion Harrow's schizophrenia, and I had a thought that I'd like to run by you. It's intended with full respect for anyone with the disorder, and is also related to the neuro-bio-psych elements.

When Nona, Cam, and Crown are visiting the Captain, Nona hears Varun speak through the Captain. Afterward, she references the incident and realizes that neither Cam nor Crown had heard this happen. I was confused *how* Nona-lecto had that sort of experience, but...

If Nona-lecto is in Harrow's body, is it possible that she's experiencing schizophrenia symptoms? I'm not wanting to imply that it's a full hallucination, though perhaps since Harrow's 'meat' is schizophrenic meat, there are effects. Would mental health/illness be tied to the soul? Personality certainly seems to be, and some forms of memory.

Just rolling this around in my head a bit, and have no thoughts more advanced than this. Thank you for all your theorizing and writings about the books 💀 - heedee

I've been wondering how or if Harrow's schizophrenia effected Nona since the cover first dropped, and literally speaking, the way you're wondering about? I'm still not really sure. Brain stuff is complicated, even before souls are part of the equation, and everything about Nona is already so goddamn weird. I do think Nona is thematically schizophrenic, the same way she's thematically intellectually disabled.

Like the scene you're talking about here:

I think you're absolutely onto something, seeing this as related to psychosis. Reading this scene with that framing in mind, Nona's experience is so clearly about hallucinations. She was just trying to change the subject, and fuck. Turns out no one else heard that! Camilla and Crown's reactions, too.

But to your point about neurobiology, and the relationship between soul and body, it doesn't really tell us much. Nona wasn't hallucinating, because it turned out Judith wasn't just screaming. Varun was speaking to Nona through Judith in the language of a murdered planet, a language that sounds like screaming to human ears. Like Nona's uncanny knack for human languages, that's a product of her soul, not her brain.

We get proof of that later when Nona is pretending to be Harrow, and faking being effected by the blue light. She imitates the way Judith screamed, makes her mouth make the same shapes Judith's did, and her words come out in italics; just like Judith's words that Camilla and Crown heard as screams. She calls for help, in the screaming language she'd heard from Judith, with Judith in the room to hear her, and Varun answers by attacking the planet.

To your question about whether schizophrenia would be connected to the soul or to the body in setting, I don't think there's a dichotomy there. Body and soul aren't separate things, even when they're separated.

Lyctorhood, for example. You'd think muscle memory would be a clear cut case of living in the body. It's muscles. But when Ianthe chowed down on Naberius' soul, she got his reflexes with it. His swordsmanship, his stance, his training. The soul brought the body with it. And when Harrow literally cut Gideon out of her brain, it removed Gideon from her memory even when her soul was elsewhere. She spent half that book in the River, but didn't remember Gideon until her skull construct failed and her brain began to heal. So I would say that, just like memory, it's both. Harrow's schizophrenia is tied to both her soul and body, and there's not really much point in trying to separate the two.

#ntn spoilers #nona the ninth #nona palona #the locked tomb #harrow's schizophrenia #also hi Heedee!! big thank you for the big juicy question to roll around in my head #and thank you for liking my meta!! 💕 I love making it and it really means a lot to me that you like reading it #sorry it took over a fucking month to get this one back to you #it kept picking up new questions and implications #like a snowball rolling around a yard #like #so how does the non-dichotomy of soul and body work re: Pyrrha? #I think its partially the eightfold word and partially maybe bc Pyrrha's soul has had ten thousand years to acclimate to being Gideon's bod #Pyrrha isn't surprised to hear that Nona is dying in chapter 24 because (to quote): #'It takes a lot to acclimate a soul to a body it wasn’t born in if that original body’s around for it to miss' #and this is while Pyrrha still thinks it's probably Gideon in there #we know bc she tells Nona later in the same conversation that she thinks the body they're going after might be hers #so that means even the eightfold word isn't sufficient to acclimate a soul to a different body #Gideon and Harrow have done it as completely as Pyrrha and her Gideon ever did #but the eightfold word DOES lay the groundwork #or at least I'm pretty sure it does #because Ianthe in Naberius' body was nothing like Wake in Cytherea's or Palamedes in Naberius #Wake and Pal's movements were awkward and jerky while Ianthe moved with the same grace and fluidity as Kiriona inhabiting her own dead body #speaking of Ianthe and Naberius I am eyeing that line about 'if that original body's around for it to miss' #what happened to the bodies of the other lyctors' cavaliers is a long standing mystery #and Pyrrha seems like she might be implying there that her original body ISN'T still around to miss #can't just be that it's dead; Gideon's is dead too and Pyrrha was talking about Gideon's body when she said the line #so maybe there is something in the theory that the original cavaliers were cremated #I can see the lyctors doing it if they thought it was the only way to prevent complications or later failure of the process #kinda makes me wonder what kinds of complications might arise from Ianthe keeping Babs around to play play with

[gotchibam]

Just wanna say I finally updated the trello queue for the ko-fi doodle requests! Sorry it took so long but also thank you sm for being patient w/ me ;_;

#weirdly enough I was expecting more for some reason @_@ #might be bc i've gotten around 70+ reqs before..... #for those who don't know i've gotten so much reqs before too & finished all of em in a span of several months #longest doodle(s) to be finished & sent took around 7 months i think (im very sorry for those ppl ;_;) #said i'd never do it again but well... here I am again #it's not gonna take as long (I hope) don't worry but yeah it may take a few months for some (i'm sorry in advance) #thank u all sm for the support & kind messages! and to that kind & generous supporter thank you so so much as well (I cried reading ur msg) #I really appreciated that & it made me emotional ;_; but it makes me happy that my art has somehow helped you even just in a small way too #bam blabs

[genderfluidgothwitch]

For those who are unsure of whether or not they really have the "sensitivity to cold" symptom of fibromyalgia, because you think that it's just you not being able to handle colder temperatures like other people, that's one way of putting it. The other way is, when it's winter and the temperatures start dropping, do you feel your pain more intensely? Do you feel like you have more problems with your joints? Is your partner always commenting how cold your fingers and toes are, but it somehow gets more frequent in winter? Those are other ways to consider being sensitive to the cold.

#just a little food for thought #I'm thinking bc I'm high af #I had to take an entire 50 mg gummy tonight because I had some serious fucking pain #I didn't realize it was going to be a consistent pattern of winter making me feel like shit #but here we are in year two of No Longer Ignoring My Symptoms #and I'm still questioning whether or not it's actually fibromyalgia #like I 100% definitively know what it is #I just still don't have the doctors sign off bc I hate phone calls and I'm getting new insurance next month #so I figure might as well wait to see if the new insurance covers any differently #things to look forward to with the new job #anyways I'm forever grateful I didn't have to jump through every stupid ass hoop my husband did when he went full time with my company #it's explicitly designed against people who aren't neurotypical and it's honestly the most bullshit program ever #no they don't give full time by merit in my company #I really only got the job because my file boss wanted me explicitly for her job when she retires #and I will be eternally grateful that she saw something in me that no other manager saw #anyways ignore all these tags anyone who reads this that found this in the fibromyalgia tag instead of my blog #fibromyalgia #>.> #kudos to those who read this far #your journey shall reward you with a small token of my gratitude #🐦‍⬛ a friend for you

[reineydraws]

home alone: espada edition

soot sprites

some doodles i sent on discord to my teams while the @grimmichibigbang was goin' on back in 2021 :))) inspired by the two stories i contributed art for!

#grimmichi #bleach #bleach fanart #grimmichi fanart #fic recs #soz i havent posted in forever cuz my eyes have been causing me problems all month 💀 #ive been meaning to post these tho so like. might as well. #today i woke up inexplicably in pain on my right side so i dont think i'll be getting any drawing done today either 🤦🏻‍♀️ #it hurts to lie down hhhhhhh #grimmichibigbang2021 #grimmichibigbang #also rip it looks like all the art links are down for both the stories 💀💀 #ah well #sketch dump #grimmjow #grimmjow jaegerjaquez #ichigo kurosaki #update if u read tags: if u wake up and cant explain why youre in pain and it hurts a lot then u shd prob go to the hospital and ask #'hurts a lot' as in 4+ on the pain scale #take it from me lmao ya girl was suffering smth life-threating 😬 #im better now tho and have been for a few months! but ye just. take care of yourselves.

[dailydegurechaff]

You don't have to reply to this, but I am very happy to stumble across a non-problematic Youjo Senki fanpage. 💖

Thank you very much!! I'll continue to do my best!

#ask #anonymous #not a daily post #“ask sent 3 months ago” oops #sorry again ;; #im cleaning up inbox ok. or trying to #this is the last one tho i just. needed to express how much everyone being very kind means to me #confession: sometimes i kinda resent this blog for no good reason. its kinda tragic #suffice to say i regret taking on this project sometimes and i get in these downer ass moods #but like. i remember there are people who do actually like the silly time im having here #and it makes me feel better. so i need to express that. thank you. to the people who sent messages to me but also just like everyone lol #if these tags read as kinda corny im sorry but i just am in one of those sappy moods yknow and i need to share it #sorry i love u all. as if its my fault </3 /j #anyway see u all tmrw for dailydegu once more. itll be the last day of huevember!! #it uh. might be late bc im tired

[hideyseek]

THE FIC IS FINISHABLE 🎉🎉🎉

turns out i am someone who benefits from taking a day off, and also from walking in circles around the neighborhood while thinking through a plot issue.

idk this fic (mini heist!au) is the HARDEST thing ive written recently, i don't know why (its because it didnt come with themes, and also is complicated enough that its 8k, and also i folded the story in half and started telling it from the middle so there is a lot of flashbacks juggling which i find technically challenging, and also the climax scene involves violence which i have limited irl experience with and therefore ... also find technically challenging).

anyway. turns out once i know the character arcs .... its doable!!

i am sooo intrigued by how this fic compares with how we move from a to b, which was a fic of comparable length that i wrote in a similar span of time (3ish months) and drafts (3-4 i think) ... but this one is MUCH MORE COMPLICATED and is also a love story but without any space for romantic tension ... etc. anyway. head empty. bedtime.

#ok now nobody try to hang out with me tomorrow night and i will have! a draft!!! #also ... haha ... i take back what i said yesterday ... i think it might ... be good actually ..... #carrot pspspsps kakeru puts a gun to haiji's head #hidey talks fic #i need to go read fics with a certain trope to prep for 520 day exchange fic ... #oh shit and i had the vaaaaaague plan to try to write the kaze server daycare au during this month #WE'LL SEE I GUESS. see this is what happens. i get close to finishing a fic and then i get REAL arrogant REAL fast lol #but seriously. touching two nearly done drafts in the span of 2 weeks based on happenstance timing (NOT SPEED OF WRITING. CANNOT STRESS THIS #ENOUGH LOL. I AM NOT. WRITING QUICKLY. DO NOT THINK THAT I AM. I AM NOT.) anyway. its gonna fill me w even more hubris than i already have

[lecliss]

I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

#once again i jest but now i have to actually talk about it #like. okay we have no proof of any actual timeline for the dirge flashbacks other than. it was at least 30 years ago #so who knows how long they were at the manor. could have been weeks before The Incident. or months. or maybe a full year! who knows #but to me a timeline of like. they fucked and like a week later vincent found The Evidence and lucercia had her little breakdown #AND THEN EXTREMELY QUICKLY SHE AGREED TO THE EXPERIMENT AND IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS #1. she knew she was pregnant and thats why she agreed to the experiment cuz there was already a usable subject #and therefore she must have fucked hojo like a week after she fucked vincent AND THATS STUPID FAST FOR THESE EVENTS #or 2. she didnt know. agreed to the experiment. fucked hojo. and therefore thought seph was hojo's and NOT vincent's #AND BY THE WAY. i dont even actually believe hojo fucked either!!! cuz theyre both scientists so why wouldnt they think IVF was the best way #okay. well.... hojo is canonically a fucked up little freak. so. he might have taken the opportunity to... get in there. #also when did ivf even start being a thing? cuz that may play a factor into this if nomura even considered that #well either way lets just unfortunately assume hojo got in there #ITS STILL AN ODDLY FAST TIMELINE #also. fuck man doesnt lucrecia have a later line in dirge where she actually says shes in love with hojo? or something along those lines #IMPLYING ITS BEEN AWHILE SINCE SHE HAD THE FALLING OUT WITH VINCENT. YOU WOULDNT FUCK THE GUY AFTER ALL THAT SHIT #AND WHILE CLAIMING TO LOVE/CURRENTLY FALLING IN LOVE WITH HOJO!!!! LIKE CMON MAN!!!! SHE SUCKS BUT SHES NOT THAT KIND OF A MESS #i dont think vincent would fuck her until they sorted out their issues anyway and that CLEARLY didnt happen. #its VITAL that that did not happen!!!! #its just. if vincent and lucrecia fucked. everything would have had to happen EXTREMELY fast within like a 2 week timespan #and im just talking about up to when vincent learns shes partaking in the experiment. it was probably another week or two until vincent died #SO. logically it must have been like #fall in love->learn about the gimoire incident->refuse to speak to vincent->get obsessed with hojo->fall in love(?) #and then thats where i think its ambiguous on did the experiment become an idea before or after seph started to exist? #like chicken or the egg ya know. experiment idea or sephiroth zygote? #that feels fucked up to say. im so fucking sorry to seph to talk about this. yeah sorry i have to debate who fucked your mom bro #god imagine telling him that. like not even as a reveal thing cuz he knows who his father is. just like as a sick joke. your mom joke. #NO OH M Y GOD I HAVE A QUESTION NOW #in accordance to him having a photo of lucrecia in ever crisis. after he reads that jenova is an ancient (incorrect btw) #does he think that picture is still her? what about when he takes jenova's body from the lab???? #oh my god 30 tag limit. FUCK. i need like a rant blog for all this vincent talk now. my brain is going a mile a minute

[jinstronaut]

this is also why i stopped using my tracked tag for a while tbh

#and i might do it again bc its just #a reminder that no one rly cares abt what i do / who i am etc #which might sound over dramatic idk how else to describe it tho its just hollow #it feels very much like a Chore and a Task and if i dont reblog things fast enough from my tag #people get very angry and/or upset with me even tho theres just #so much content and i have 0 time so everything gets queued no matter what #like this whole experience feels like a chore lmao #and it never ever used to #but now theres so much animosity if i dont behave / interact with things Properly #or whatever the make believe rules are idk #this dash can just be so negative like have we all truly descended into madness during this hiatus #bc like i get it ive been up and down and all around too but ive never been straight up MEAN to anyone in this community #and i never want to either so this entire situation thats been bubbling for months just feels like shit #bc what the fuck changed and how do we get back to where we were #i never ever ever ever felt this way before like idk the middle of last year #but ever since like last fall its just been idk. Bad #once again im sorry if ive ever done anything to upset anyone but my silence / absence doesnt mean i dont care #ive just been Incredibly busy due to some real life changes that are out of my control #i might not have energy to answer everything but i do Read everything and it does make me smile #and i save messages that are kind in my heart so i can be reminded of the root of what this blog is supposed to be #a space for something im very passionate about and previously had nowhere else to express said passion #so like idk if we all like the same things why does this weird feeling of competition linger over us lmao #why do all ccs have to fight???? each other???? when we all love and do the same things???? #i have nothing against anyone personally but what i Do take issue with is the way that ive been doing this since 2021 and im fully just #ignored and shoved aside by so many people for reasons i fully dont know or understand #so yeah idk this is a novel i just woke up from a spontaneous nap bc im so exhausted i can only stay awake for 3 hours at a time #but yeah anyways idk ! #be nice its so easy ! #tbd

[capinejghafa]

Ok, so remember when I was like "this kanej fic rec is gonna take a day and/or a weekend?" So that was a lie... it's gonna take a few weeks bc the list is very detailed, and my library brain is this is the only way I can probably categorize things. So there will be a Kanej fic rec list... it'll just be super long and thorough as possible. Thank you for your understanding during this time lol

#random #it's my kanej fandom magnum opus #i want the list to not just be a completed lis (bc obv there's still stories being pub!) #but just stories i have read and have enjoyed or at the very least know someone who might enjoy it! #idky i thought i could make something easy that's not who i am lol #anyways it'll probably take me a month at the rate im going

[nerdierholler]

So this is what I’ve been doing while recharging my batteries the last month. This is for the whole year but basically I’ve just been reading for most of my free time. Lots of light romances and cozy mysteries where the less I think the better. I read about 10,000 pages all of last year so this amount of reading is an anomaly for me.

I am glad to finally be feeling better though. I don’t feel overwhelmed as soon as I open any kind of social media anymore so I’m hoping to get back into my regular routines here.

#most books have just been so-so #but I read a few good ones that could go in the re-read rotation #takes me 2-3 days to finish a book #then I immediately start the next #I’m trying to read every day this month then I might slow down some #life at nerdy holler

[emiliosandozsequence]

been toying around with the idea of making a sideblog purely for reading stuff for a while now. i want a place to be unhinged about what i'm reading

#it takes me about a month to finish a book reading a chapter every other day #but that's bc i'm chronically ill; mentally ill; & traumatized & am going through a lot at any given time & can only focus for so long #(i used to be able to finish books in a week and read 50 pages a day fucking rip) #but i love reading and talking about what i'm reading so i just might; idk if anyone would follow that blog but yeah #the Only reason i don't spend all of my time reading is bc of my disabilities & adhd; otherwise i literally would do nothing else #emilio.txt

[littlespoonevan]

911 has never shocked me more than when it made me realise how aWFUL the us maternity leave system is when maddie was still in work at forty-two weeks pregnant and then back at work again a few weeks (a month??? two???) after she gave birth

#911 rewatch #i'm on 4x10 and i still remember googling the maternity leave sitch in america after i first watched it bc it confused me #and the shOCK i felt when i read you're only entitled to 12 weeks and that doesn't have to be paid???? #(or apparently???? some google results say you can be but sTILL that's so little time) #in ireland you have to start your maternity leave 2 weeks before the baby is due and it's 6 months paid #and /then/ people might take unpaid parental leave after that #like most women i know who've had kids usually take the first year off unless they absolutely have to go back to work #for financial reasons

[shadowdianne]

I'd probably be less stressed if I stopped my very much NOT funny tradition of having a bazillion things happening 'round me at the end of the year

#still waiting to see if my doctor is going to approve my blood work #still on talks with my bank to see if the plan gets approved and I actually get to own a place #still waiting for the agency to call us back about the place we saw tuesday and we'd be interested in #I also am going to be a... dunno the nongendered form of how I'm going to have a niece in less than a week #i'm working my ass off so i don't get sacked at the beginning of the year #planning a move + how it's going to work #how we are going to be asking for days off on both of our jobs considering it all #the conversation regarding companies pertaining light #water and all of the basic necesseties #which revolves around on the fact that I need to feign being a woman for all of them and keep accepting and signing forms under a gender i' #very much not bc here i don't get to be legally recognized as anything but the binary #and the mental inner countdown all of it brings bc since taking t i'm gearing towards a more androgynous look and therefore more difficult #to pass with each passing week #i REALLY want a break #and to probably pass out for a month #(and knowing that atop of it all i'm starting to burn out and I'm not being as good of a friend I should be) #fuck off mental gnome #ps to those that might be reading the tags #me trying to own a place is mostly due to a need since mortages are cheaper than anything these days and our lease is going to be up in a #year #and we know they will not keep the monthly payment the same if we keep leaving here giving that they've increased the amount twice already #so we need to move and we need to do it now whilst i'm still under 30 #as banks offer aid to those that try to own a place under 30 and they look to the oldest of the couple #which would be me #I'm 28 #soon to be 29 in -also- less than a week #can i have a fucking break xd #living and not leaving #not editing a single tag we die like fanfic authors who don't give a damn