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#might delete this later its too ugly
noecoded · 2 years
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portrait 💭
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A Family Thing | Yandere Blue Exorcist
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Yukio Okumura has had to limit and expand his definition of family many times on his exorcist journey. His brother was the only constant, which he was fine with. That is until his own demonic half awakened. Now alongside his brother, his identity morphed again like his pointed ears. He did think this might happen but he couldn’t help but connect the dots. But you know who made it easier? (Y/n) Pheles. 
You came to him and Rin on a cloud of strawberry-scented smoke. Literally. Wiping at your suit and tie you explained how the last demon you had fought had made its final stand in a churning pot of strawberry jam. You told them not to think about it too much.
With a smile that blinded them, you told of how you took a long trip around the world to meet the boys Mephisto was so keen on watching stalking. You gushed over them like the older sibling neither of them had. That is until you officially moved onto campus. Where exactly? That was never known for sure. All they could gather was that you were close enough to appear at a moment's notice to pinch their cheeks, ruffle their hair, and coo at them as they did their casual routine. 
He knew it was easy for Rin to lean into you, who openly gave affection to him. Yukio knew he couldn’t react as warmly. Was it his fear? His maturity? He just couldn’t do it. Wouldn’t. He thought you’d grow to love Rin more than him because of this only to be beautifully surprised when you lovingly held him in your arms.
“Hey, I love you both all the same. You’re my ducklings through and through! I’ve decided from this day on!”
Soon he was placed with that familiar ache when you waved goodbye from the window of their dorm on training camps. It was a good ache that affirmed the stringing demand that was creeping up his throat. He couldn’t let you leave them now. 
He can pinpoint the exact moment when this feeling first bloomed in his heart. It was so long ago, if he was anyone else he would have written it off as simply being a child, which he did for awhile, but he knew it was something more. It was back in preschool, Rin had returned to the class after a violent outburst at some kid he later claimed was a bully. While the teacher and other students avoided him like the plague there was one who refused to leave. Following Rin from afar, slowly inching her coloring station toward his–he couldn’t tell anyone why this irked him so. He also couldn’t defend his meddling when he crumpled the flowers left in his twin's cubby. He was his brother, who was she to take that from him?
It was an ugly habit of obsession one he realized he shared with his brother, as Rin mused absentmindedly. 
“Why…don’t we just keep them to ourselves, yeah? That way…they…won’t leave us.”
I mean it’d be bizarre if it weren’t for the two of them. With Rin’s inclination to have you baby him dividing your attention and his own perfectly timed conversations, it was nothing but a game to smother your ringing phone. Silencing it hours in advance so that any alarms or texts from whoever this 'persistent dude’ was. It was a tireless pursuit that seemed to unite him and Rin more than their shared demon heritage. 
It came to a head on a Summers's day watching from afar as you chased Rin with a hose. Yukio was particularly peeved not because he wasn’t on duty for distracting you that day he totally was but because your phone had been ringing off the chain. And whoever this mysterious caller was had caught on, texting you with random excuses about a glitching phone. Every time. He. Deleted. The contact. 
“You think you can keep this up?”
The coy question came from a familiar white terrier with a pink polka-dotted bow. Yukio groaned, harshly pushing up his glasses and biting back a snarl of his own. 
“Do you know who Denji is?”
The terrier's ears flattened and if it was possible its eye furrowed in anger. After a minute of likened frustration, an idea was spawned. Bringing a metaphorical smile to the dog’s face as he birthed a plan only obsessed freaks would concoct. 
“So? Will you help me?”
“Fine. But you can’t keep them to yourself. We won’t let you.”
“Of course not. I could only wish.”
It wasn’t long before there were some changes: a ring on your finger, you carrying that stupid dog around with you, and wearing strangely bright accessories that most certainly weren’t yours. All indicative of the newest addition in your life–a fiance named Mephisto Pheles. The principal and their current guardian: Mephisto Pheles. 
Suddenly Yukio and Rin are subjected to chaotic dinners with you and Mephisto. Days that were previously filled with your voice encouraging them were complimented by Mephisto’s ominous laughing and playful insults. But you were there and you were theirs, a promise you firmly upheld whenever you began an uncomfortable talk about your relationship. 
And even as you reached over your purple-haired husband to wave goodbye, blowing kisses as the limousine revved up, Yukio notes the sound of unsatisfied obsession. Watching the hands that linger around your waist and the caked-up makeup on your neck. He makes the realization that this too was a case of that feeling bubbling to the surface. The obsessive arm around your shoulders, the out-of-place stickers on your things, and the oddly convenient way Mephisto was always at the door, waiting to escort you home. 
It dawns on him how similar they are. Perhaps the string of obsession was a family thing. He didn’t entirely hate that.
“Welcome to the family (Y/n).”
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solluve · 1 year
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Domsetic Luxiem Headcanons!! ahshuaduw
not proofread!!! mentions of spiders, squishing spider, ew spider ────────────────────────
vox
CANT DO SHIT TBH like "oh he's a housewife" he's not. Like sure, hell clean and cook BUT HE ONLY DOES IT WHEN YOU TELL HIM TO he messes with u to Like
"oh can u clean the bedroom?"
"wdym.. my demonic aura cleansed everything already."
WE DIDNT MEAN SPIRITUALLY GO CLEAN IT When you force him to, he actually does a good job!! Like clothes are folded, floors are swept and there's a huge ass pile of clothes in ur closet!! MF GTE UR ASS OVER HERE HES HOT BUT HES NOT GETTING AWAY he also likes to meditate but like.. isolated. If you disturb him he's gonna make YOU sleep on the couch half joke he might tho He takes pride into his meditation, you would want peace and quiet too yk?! but if u guys have a pet, he'll let that mf disturb him any dayy why does a dog get special privileges UR THE ONE WHO PAYS 50% OF RENT he prob has those doobermans he probably also bribed the apartment facility to let him in I'm like 100% sure that dog is here illegally but he loves the dog and you do too! partly. he can't dance for the life of him however it's it's embarrassing HE COULD DO TRADITIONAL DANCING !! but don't hit him up with some 21st century shit he'll look like he's got it and then fall mid way. gotta get his old as the the hospital HIS BONES CRACKED.
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shu
ehe hes everything we wanted yall !! I'm joking. This mf DOESNT KNOW SLEEP like you'll be going to get a drink at 3am and then straight up see some demonic looking figure in the hall its just him trying to fix some shit HE BREAKS THINGS JUST SO HE CAN FIX THEM
"how did the...light break?"
"ion know but what I do know is that I can fix it!"
CATCH HIM ON THE SERCUIRTY CAMERAS hes useful tho in thay aspect!! your landlord ain't getting any money from damages. Dishwasher broke? Hes on it !! The TV isn't working as well? hes on it !! this is an ad for shu yamino services go support him He also does wack as shit at 3am Yk how I said he was fixing something at night while u were getting a drink? He was fixing A SPIDER. SPIDER he said "oh !!! I stepped on him so I wanted to help him!" HOW U GON FIX THAT HOW DID HE EVEN KNOW HE STEPPED ON IT You also caught him fixing Christmas tree during December. He laughed and said, "it wasn't bright enough!" a police visited yall 2 hrs later one of ur neighbors called the cops since it was way to bright. He had to make it up with cuddles xoxo, and pay the fine xoxoxo
______ mysta GET GIM AWAY MANS TO FERAL like literally can't do SHIT maid mysta maid mysta!! YOUR MYSTAKEN (do u get the joke) HE JUST RUINS EVERYTHING you just cleaned the floors!! why is FUCKING MUD STAINS ALREADY?!? Like he can't clean, CANTNFUCKING COOK (we all know this.) I DONT even want to elaborate on how bad he cooks. You Handel the cleaning, cooking, and what does he do? he def ain't sitting there pretty (ugly/j) instead, he opts to get the money and shit !! But like It's concerning Like last time I checked he had money to pay rent and all that but....he had to much money left. More than usual. Your guys Financials were good dwdw! BUT HOW HE GONNA HAVE THOUSANDS LEFT HES SELLING DRUGS/ the obvious explanation and that his freinds make him do crazy ass stunts and give him money/j "do a flip off that porch. 10$ mf." LMFAOO he's also just...insane. You'll wake up at 3am again to see him on the phone with elmo LMFAOOO THOSE APPS THAT SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF CHILDREN IT SCARES HIM TO you'll hear the most frightful voice just like "when do you want the money?! PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE" you have to hack in a delete that app for the mfer to sleep at night. He'll boast like "I'm not afraid of that shit it's all fake!" wait till u put a elmo plush on his bed ______
Luca YAHH HES SO EUSHWUS he's so cute omg but so messy. LIKE HE CAN CLEAN AFTER HIMSELF BUT HE HAS A HYPER MINDSET so it's like one thing after another, he can't slow down to clean. It's not that bad to clean after him, he doesn't make a bad bad mess. BUT HE DEF NEEDS TO LEARN TO TAKE A BREAK Nothing is shecduled either. It's just like, do this, then that, then this, the profit all of our belongings to sushang(ehe love her) But when he comes home from a long day.. omg Let me elaborate HE WAS CUDDLY ALWAYS BUT HES JUST extra extra cuddly he dosent want to do shit. he'll drag you from whoever you are and force you on the couch/bed and yall with just stay there Maybe for ever HE JUST FALLS ALSEEP SO EASILY like it's kinda concerning hyper energetic turing anemic at any possible moment he has he'll drag you along all the time for those moments He doesn't even speak he just mumbles and occasionally huffs out of relief he so cute omg but then THEN WHEN HES HYPER AGAIN HE WILL BODY SLAM YOU ONTO THE BED OR SOFA AGAIN CHILL THIS AINT THE WWE he doesn't know how strong he is omg.
______
Ike FIANLLY THE MOST LIKE REASONABLE MAN OUT OF EVERYONE but he's like a neat freak also, Like....did u just leave a fucking go gurt on the table when you went to get ur phone? DIRTY ASS MF !!!! he just wants to make sure the house is clean some people say, "your house reflects you" And I think that's true but!! he we we all know he gon snap THE MFER HE NEEDS TO PUT UP WITH his freinds trying be likebthe power rangers or some shit I find it funny they are just all different colors palettes BUT HES GREAT !! HE COOKS, CLEANS, ACTUALLY HAS CALM HOBBIES did I say calm mbmb let's not forget his karaoke SKILLS HELLO??? THE SCREAMING HE CAN DO THE AMOUNT OF TIMES U GUYS GOT NOISE COMPLAINTS nobody would've guess it was from him. he just smiles, aplogizes and hands over the money he handing over the money so willingly cause that mf KNOWS IT WAS HIS FAULT but he don't give a shit LMFAOO he'll shut the door, wait a little, then start cursing out the neighbors in Swedish he's he's scary. he's literally like those innocent ass looking dogs names princesses that's a devil in secret he's ur devil in secret tho <33
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In my defence, I have none
Elain Archeron x Lucien Vanserra
Summary: Elain deals with some ugly feelings in an unhealthy way. Elain centric.
Warnings: ANGST, hurt with only a tiny sprinkle of comfort, self destructive tendencies, mentions of alcohol, suicide ideation, negative self talk, toxic Elain.
Might delete this later, honestly I am not sure if I like it. I was writing a soft fic about them going on little dates but then this monstrosity appeared in my mind like a prophetic fever dream. English is not my first language so don't think too badly of me.
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Elain Archeron was wandering around Velaris, emptiness in her heart.
She didn't know if what was plaguing her mind was a vision with some sort of significance; or if it was her imagination and the representation of the foul thoughts she had been having. Decaying overgrown gardens.
Seven months of courting. Seven months of letting warmth, like she had never experienced before, into her life. Seven months of Lucien Vanserra filling most of her days. Until her mind betrayed what they both had been nurturing between them.
She had thought of drastic ideas, the sort of things that had only occurred to her right after she had been made, when she had been uttering broken sentences up in the House of Wind.
Her name, as much as she tried to forget it, continued to form in her head as well as the hushed and soft voice of her mate as he talked about her.
And Elain's own voice, a malignant version of it that only spoke in her thoughts had whispered words of irrational jealousy in her ear. Even the seed of doubt could grow big and strong if her own hands tucked it gently in the land of her mind.
So she had avoided him, after speaking kind words of comfort for his loss. Not following him when Rhysand had sent him away to perform his duties as emissary. Making herself scarce every time he returned to Velaris, in a more effective way than before they had started courting.
Walking on the banks of the Sidra she wondered if anyone even thought that her sweet and forgettable self was capable of nurturing such dark concepts in her pretty little head. Elain had been a doll her whole life, she could disappear in the role until everyone simply believed that despair could not touch her in any way.
Was she something more than a beautiful thing? Had she ever been anything more?
As a human she had been a toy to dress up for her mother. And later in life, when she lived in the cottage dirt poor with her remaining family, had she been a doll even then? When men from the village watched her rapaciously, as if she was the defenseless little mouse she often felt like. She had felt their words sticking to her porcelain skin like mud. As if they had the right to taint her days, because she was in misery and with a father who could as well not exist, as if her circumstances made her a toy to break for fleeting amusement.
Then her life had turned upside down for the third time and she had given her heart and hopes to a man who would crush them under his boots not long after. After a king for an experiment had boiled her bones alongside her older sister's and forced them to become completely different creatures. The one offence she had been able to take revenge for.
Greysen had thrown her away. Azriel had called her a mistake. And Lucien... He was her mate but he already had his great love and it was not her.
Elain could not tell how many stab wounds her heart could take anymore, how her heart was still beating and not decaying like a bird fallen from its last flight. Would the end of things even gift a weightless flight to a small, disappearing thing?
Cold rain was falling on the city of starlight, a small kindness from the sky, a mask for her bitter tears.
Pride prevented her from walking to his apartment and look for comfort in his arms, pretending that her sorrow did not exist. That would have been easy and safe. Gentle, not jealous, not capricious, not possessive. Just like the Elain everyone saw and loved. No, the rain and the cold were small luxuries she would allow herself, to wash away her most abominable feelings in the anonymity of a city that was taking shelter from an unpleasant autumn evening.
It felt liberating and devastating, to know that no-one would come looking for her. She was the only resident of the Town House, she had avoided her mate for two weeks, her sisters were living their lives with their families. And when the morning would come, after a night of rain, she would tend to her poor garden and to her beaten heart.
Elain would be alright in the end, she would go back to her polite and cheerful ways. A few hours would be enough to swallow the bile of knowing that not even for her mate she was the most important. The one.
She felt ashamed of her jealousy against a female who had died tragically long before she was even born, but even all of her self awareness could do nothing against the sickness in her stomach at the very thought of her.
Elain felt like a child standing in front of all of her suffocating thoughts. Would anyone even understand why she felt that way, except for maybe her sisters? She was a high fae but her soul was still so terribly human. She still resonated like a mortal, all chaos and uncertainty. And there, in darkness and rain she felt as if she was still just a girl, living in a humble cottage, looking up at the sky feeling small and lost, wondering what will become of her.
Maybe if she found refuge in a tavern and drank herself empty, like Nesta had done in the past, she would understand something that she was clearly missing.
Elain needed something to stop her mind, or she would be forced to claw her heart out of her chest to make it stop hurting.
If she really wanted to be petty, she thought, she could always disappear. Run to the Continent and get lost in shimmering old cities. Would anyone look for her then?
Shame came again, taking her breath away and forcing her to lean her forehead against the cold black stone of a building. How could her pettiness make sense for such unwarranted fragility? She wished to be different, to be the actually kind person everyone always saw. Maybe if she had been different she would not walk the city in that weather, she would simply be with her mate in that rainy night exactly like the first one they had spent together, two months before.
Elain wished for a life of expressing her darkest feelings instead of allowing them to devour her from inside. She wished to not be a proper lady, to live like a wild creature in the woods, to show up at a ball where nobody knew her and be unapologetically herself.
For months she had acted like herself. Laughing wholeheartedly and talking without restraint, relinquishing in the fact that Lucien was her mate, starting to understand that he was meant to be her person, the one always at her side unconditionally. Her perfect other half.
She could easily ruin everything, make sure that between them there would be no winners. Hurt him like his confession, meant for sharing a full of agony page of his life, had hurt her. Would he even see it coming, from her? Probably not, he had been so trusting in sharing his story, handing her his heart and breaking hers in the same moment. Elain did not wish to live with a ghost from the past, she did not want to be the one he settled for and if renouncing to him would give her that kind of peace she was ready to consider it.
It was childish, she was aware, to think like that, to whim for a scenario she had made up. She had been simmering in her mind long enough to convince herself that if the other female would have still been alive, her mate, the one who belonged to her, would have chosen Jesminda and not even tried to pursue that bond so rare and sacred for his people. In another life Elain would have been unwanted even by the one who should always long for her no matter the circumstances. Maybe deciding to acknowledge him all those months before had been a mistake, maybe she was not ready yet and maybe she would never be mature enough to not feel betrayed for what did not happen.
Elain was exhausted, cold was settling into her bones and laying her to sleep like a snow covered flower.
Purchasing a bottle of wine and drinking it while wandering around seemed perfectly squalid and totally appropriate for the occasion. So she did. Wander and drink, thinking about all of the times she had bitten her tongue instead of saying what was going on in her mind, what kind of life was that?
In the morning she would go back, to the place she was calling home and to her quietude, after allowing herself the luxury of being inadequate for a little while. In the morning Elain would make something beautiful, to force life to be worth living again. If she had to perform then the world needed to perform for her as well.
At dawn she would be frivolous and soft for her audience and allow them to make anything they wanted of her. Elain the naive sister of the High Lady and the Valkyrie. The foolish gardener who existed on the periphery of everything as if she was already too old to live. The silly baker who, along with her pastries, often gave away pieces of herself for free.
And his heart, thunderous in her ears, would become a tolerable companion again. Soon she would gather enough courage to be in his presence and not viciously strike to kill. At the end she did have something in common with her sharpest sister. Until then she would retrace her steps to find where her damage came from, why was she so sweet and so vindictive.
As the rain started to hit her harder with its glacial drops Elain found shelter under a porticus, cold stone becoming the only bed she felt like she deserved at the moment. Would they send her away for being the cause of so much shame in only one night?
Anger flared up in her heart, inexorably directed at herself, at her family, at her mate and at his lost love. Chucking her bottle of wine against one of the pillars had felt good for a moment, Elain had never allowed herself to express anger in such a way. Even when some shards of glass flew back to her, scratching her skin, she continued to feel numb. That was what heartbreak did to an unwise girl, it made other kinds of pain disappear.
Sliding on the floor again, not minding the street's dust tarnishing her dress, Elain felt empty enough to fall into something similar to sleep, his heart tormenting her still. It felt as if the highs of alcohol were still clouding her mind when someone picked her up, the familiar rhythm of his heart now beating directly into her ear. Elain didn't bother to open her eyes. Maybe if she ignored him, his presence would turn out to be just a dream and she would be left alone to deal with her thoughts in any way she deemed necessary. Maybe the feeling of winnowing away and the warm lights of candles were only her imagination. Maybe the scent of cinnamon, books and apples of his apartment was just a deception from her weary mind.
And still Elain felt him lay her gently on the couch and walk away, the sound of flowing water coming from the other side of his home.
She laid there, pain and shame turning even the simple action of breathing uncomfortable. As she slowly opened her eyes, Elain found her mate observing her, the sorrow on his face clear as day.
Lucien seemed perfectly composed as he silently cried. She wanted to rage. Anger and disgust, those were the emotions she had expected to read in his expression; for her irrational jealousy and for her insensitivity. She did not want his tears nor his pity. Once again she contemplated doing the unexpected by ruining everything without an ounce of hesitation or regret. Elain did not speak as he cleaned the scratches she had caused by carelessly tossing away her wine bottle, nor did she react when he healed them all with a gentleness that was infuriating. She did not utter a single word as he carried her to the steaming bathtub on the other end of his apartment and set her down in the water after reverently taking off her the, by then, unsalvageable dress.
A few weeks prior they had chatted away and laughed in that bathtub together, as the sunlight, a rare occurrence in the Night Court, shone through the windows carrying a promise of tranquility.
Now there were no words or smiles, just silence and his hands gently washing her hair. Elain felt like crying as he poured warm water on her hair and back, the cold that had settled in her bones beginning to ease up. A sob escaped her lips as she whispered.
"Are you angry at me?" It was a question she had asked a countless amount of times during her life. And after Greysen had thrown her away, that sequence of words had become habitual on her lips.
"No," he whispered back, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She looked away, finding it almost impossible to believe.
"Please don't ever do this again, I would not be able to bear it," Lucien continued, his lips still pressed against her head.
"Your feelings had been devastating tonight, my lady. I had felt them all. Nothing that happened before I came to you matters. Nothing is more than you. You are my everything, don't ever doubt it again".
The pain in his voice was palpable, a stark contrast with his warm hand rubbing soothing circles on her back. Elain could not hold back her tears anymore, starting to sob softly and continuing until she was tucked away in the safety of his arms, wearing his clothes, surrounded by his scent. Laying on his bed and not on the cold stone she had planned to sleep on just a few hours prior. Still there was a part of her that continued to exist restless, unfamiliar with the concept of peace and wary of it. In the morning she would be herself again and he would spend the rest of their long lives proving her everyday that she was his to cherish, to unconditionally love. His heart would always belong in her hands.
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charlos-angst · 8 months
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Tagged by @watercolor-hearts, I'm actually surprised someone remembers my @ to tag me in these! quite heartwarming tbh, thank you lovely, hope you have a nice day/evening/morning 🤗💙
Name: my true name starts with a. m. but since i'm a person on the verge of mixing reality w/ virtual i rather be just called goggles lmao (not to be too vague, my second one is miguel, a quite common latino name, but the first one is quite unusual and it feels too real to be called like that so im hiding it lol)
Sign: Leo (i copied from the op who tagged me and yes this is my sign as well)
Time: 19:16 (i definetely spent too much time elaborating and correcting my own answers lmao)
Favourite band/artist: the short version or the long one? cause honestly im kind of into music as a whole, but to select just a few, i'd say Fiona Apple, Joanna Newsom, Beyoncé and Björk. yep, all ladies, dont ask me why but i just connect with female vocalists more
Last movie: ooh.. this one is quite been some time actually... i think it was Knives Out: Glass Onion! just a little bit of silly fun entertainment and cause i was honestly curious cause i liked watching the 1st knives out.
Last show: Drive to survive 🤷‍♂️ im not a very series person tbh (even dts i only watched the eps i actually was curious about lmao)
When I created this blog: this kind of has 2 answers idk. because this used to be a ziam - yes you read that right - a ziam blog lmao but i didnt put much thought into it tho. then i just stopped using for years, and i just came 2 months ago back to delete it and replace with this actual blog cause i discovered the charlos side of tumblr and wanted to interact w the blogs i discoveeed, reblog and all that jazz.
Other blogs: other than the one i deleted, no, i just have this active blog.
Do I get asks: no i turned them off lol but i dont mind actually i get kind of peaceful thinking im just a dot in this vast virtual world of internet, at least here
Followers: 125 accs (i guess, i dont check bots but i dont think there are too much of them)
Average hours of sleep: i guess it varies on 6-8? there are days a sleep a little bit later but tbh i dont keep track of these lol but i can tell i've been pretty okay with my schedule lately, at least my insomnia stopped
Instruments: nope. i have a shitty keyboard but i just gave up on learning, but i do plan on trying again, just dont know when
What I am wearing: green shorts and an ugly printed but comfortable t shirt
Dream job: i mean, it says dream job... so i might go full in... singer/songwriter 🤓
Dream trip: actually i'm not really obsessed about trips anymore... but if i had to pick one i'm just saying Madrid cause its where carlos jr was born 🤓 (i still want to go there and investigate in person to find his official time of birth btw, so yep im picking madrid)
Favorite song atm: i have a lot of songs being my faves simultaneously and it changes fast depending on the moments/moods but im going with In California by Joanna Newsom cause the chorus when she sings "cuckoo cuckoo" its freaking amazing tbh. for my more upbeat side tho i'm picking Those Eyes, That Mouth by cocteau twins.
Tagging:@leclercsbf and @leoramage (tagging you two cause you were the ones to start a conversation w me so i think it wouldn't be too awkward lol but hey, feel free to ignore if you dont want to or dont like these, no hard feelings, were just dots in a virtual space)
(ps: i was actually very defensive about these kind of posts but i tried this one for fun and hey it is fun! it was kind of cool to talk about myself freely without my face or name plastered on it so thanks for that, person who tagged me)
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milkbreadtoast · 2 years
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Do you happen to have more recommendations? My WEBTOONs reads are a bit empty since the ones I’ve finished are done/cancelled etc. doesn’t even matter the type.
I'M SO SORRY i saved this to my drafts because I had written a long thing and tumblr deleted it so i needed to rewrite it... and then I forgot about it... IM SO SORRY!!!! I actually don't have a whole lot of webtoon recs bc I haven't read that many, and only would rec a few from the ones I have read, but I will gladly share some that I've enjoyed/am enjoying!!!!
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No Home (집이 없어) there is no official tl but it's being scanlated on other sites (by whatafruit)!! This is... quite possibly one of the best things ive ever read... it's a drama about high school kids and their home problems/traumas... please read it the writing and characterization is SO good and nuanced, the storytelling and pacing is masterful, the characters are so loveable yet so realistically flawed and show their ugly human sides... PLUS THE ARTSTYLE IS SOO CUTE AND IT'S FUNNY.... 100/10 best webtoon (I actually need to catch up TT I know it'll make me CRY so ive been putting it off...)
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"When the Day Comes": this is a slice of life/school romance one... but even if you don't like slice of life pls give this one a chance i promise u it is so good u wont regret it... the writing and characterization is realistic and nuanced and the characters are all so loveable... plus the art is GORGEOUS... and there was unexpected LGBT rep that made me so happy TT I love omyo's writing... and if you enjoy this one pls also check out "the stories of those around me" if u want to see more of the author's work!! that was one of my first webtoons and I still love it..
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I already rec'd Lee Yeon's work but in case anyone didn't see... pls read "The Makeup Remover"!!!! that's one of my recent all time favs... and I'm also enjoying "Surviving Romance" by this author which is still ongoing! It's a zombie horror/thriller (but it's not too gorey!! i hate gore and it's rly mild/mostly censored... i love lee yeon's art style and chara designs its a big insp) I admit i didn't like SR's writing as much as TMR but it's still a really fun read (esp binging) and the pacing is really engaging... (ALSO DONT JUDGE LEE YEON'S WORK BY THE THUMBNAIL IT'S REALLY MISLEADING LOL....)
and currently I'm enjoying "Rewriting our love story" on webtoon... there's only 8 eps translated on webtoon so i cant for SURE say how good it is lol but so far im pleasantly surprised? like its rly good for a "het romance" webtoon... and the art is cute! so if u dont mind het romance join me in waiting for updates lol
I MIGHT UPDATE W MORE LATER BUT I FEEL RLY BAD FOR ANSWERING SO LATE SO ILL PUBLISH NOW
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with fics like the Cesar house that you update on a schedule, what's your process? do you pre-write the whole story? do you manage to write a chapter every week? I find the consistency really neat and was wondering how you do it!!
Thank you for the question!
See, that's the thing: I don't know how I do it (/s)
But seriously, when it comes to long-form stories that I try to update on a schedule, I always start with an outline ready that's like 90% accurate of what the final product will be. The remaining 10% are details that are swapped around, scenes that I realize need to be added or deleted as I write, those kinds of things. I like having a goal to work toward, otherwise it'll never get finished.
With that outline, I start to write the story proper. Usually dialogue first (to nail character voices), then building the text around it. And I mean dialogue first for the whole fic, and then going back for the text. And later, of course, editing.
I start to write with the intention to write as much as I can in one go. By the time I reach chapter five or so, I'm too excited about the concept and I end up publishing the first chapter. Beyond that, I do still manage to write a chapter per week and if something unforeseen were to happen down the line that makes me unable to write, I have that buffer. By the time I reach the end, I'll have reached the point that the chapter that's published is the one I wrote that week - perhaps even with bits that I wrote that evening. Sometimes the opposite happens: that I write a chapter that won't be published for months, because I was so excited about it. This doesn't happen often, though, as I tend to write chronologically.
Now, Caesar House's consistency might not have been the best at times. I realized I was in a bit of a writing burnout last year that messed up my update schedule and writing lifestyle - going from weekly updates to whenever I felt like it to bi-weekly, and only recently back to weekly. I still feel the effects of that burnout and goodness knows that with my current projects and the new life series, it's gonna try to rear its ugly head again because I want to do everything, but I'm not gonna let it. I'm trying to pace myself and so far, so good.
I do have one story that's completely pre-written and currently being published: Escape from the mountain, a HC fic. My own problem with completely pre-written stories is that I tend to forget to publish those chapters when I'm also not actively working on the story, so I don't want to do that too often. Make decent progress pre-writing stuff, yes, but not completely pre-writing it. Making an exception for this story, though, because it's short (9 short-ish chapters) and I can remember to post every three days. Posting weekly is where I'm having trouble remembering to update if not working on it, surprisingly.
So, it's basically a blend of pre-written stuff with some week-to-week writing chapters that'll be published in a month or so from writing date. That's what has worked so far, so I'm sticking with it.
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One Unofficial Home Discord Server Bites the Dust
This update is for the folks that follow Home and the unofficial communities that have sprung up around the comic.
Seal’s Server is now closed. Anyone visiting the server will be met with a black icon for the channel and a single message:
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You might have noticed that the Exposedmundr blog and DeviantArt accounts were deleted a few months ago. The fact that the server was shut down isn’t a surprise, as the owner has done this several times before. There was originally a server named Exposedmundr and it was closed. All of us were kicked from it without warning. Those of us on Exposedmundr had to migrate to the Lifa server, which originally started as server for Home re-writes. It later morphed into a fan server. That server was also closed without warning and all of us were kicked from it. Seal’s Server was the last iteration, and was meant to be a fresh start. That worked well enough until trouble started.
The writing on the wall came just under a year ago after a rift in the community. (I’m not going to go into further details, as those involved don’t want dwell on the animosity. For that reason, no one will be named either.) The server went without moderation for a long time and I figured the owner had lost interest. I also figured that someday I’d wake up and the server would be gone, much like Exposedmundr and Lifa.
Surprisingly and happily, the server chugged on without too many issues. Then a few months ago the lack of moderation reared its ugly head. One member took to antagonizing multiple members. When the server owner returned and a moderator was appointed, that member left. The entire incident was handled poorly, including the shadow ban of a member who tried to stand up to the antagonism. It was at this point I checked out and stop contributing.
The server seemed a bit more active with the return of moderation, but this morning it was closed again without warning. A heads up and giving members a chance to save any art or memes would have been nice. But hey, it wasn’t my server and people can run things how they want. Even so, I do think it was an unfair thing to drop on us.
That said, the owner was thoughtful enough to point out there is still an active Home community run by @jonnawasmurdered​. The server has been around for more than a year and has grown nicely. It has several mods as well. (I’m one of them.) It’s been carefully balanced as a place for current and former fans to respectfully discuss this comic. If you were in Seal’s Server and are looking for a home (no pun intended) to discuss Kique Nordin’s work, among other things, check out the link at Jonna’s Tumblr. Just please respect our rules and our members.
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sunshinezei · 9 months
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im so tired
i might stay up tonight and tell u abt some stuff
bc idk i feel like i need to talk to someone
like i've been wanting to i swear i keep almost texting people then i don't
my dad just asked me what i was doing bc im in bed doing nothing and i had to lie and say i was texting my best friend when i was just scrolling through my twitter tl
i then went to text her (same again thanks) bc my last texts to her were from the last time i did that
i don't text her much anymore
i texted her a bit abt something
but on twitter
bc she was having some issues with her account so i was trying to support her
and i realized like halfway through my texts to her she probably doesn't want me texting her abt stuff like this
or idk
it was just haircut talk but still it felt off
but on twitter there's no option to delete ur messages so idk im just gonna text her to ignore it ig
sidenote hoshi mentioned something in one of the gose eps i watched today - when u wear a cap alot and u sweat in it a ring of salt forms - he said that bc the same thing was happening with their shoes bc of how much they'd practice
and i realized that's what that white circle on the underside of my cap was! i had no idea i just stopped wearing it (also i think it's probably ugly unfortunately) but cool moment
i love watching going seventeen sm it feels so nice <3 it's nice seeing them have fun with each other
i appreciate seventeen alot <3 ateez and stray kids and txt and everyone else too but lately it's been more seventeen that's made my days easier especially since i started watching from the beginning of their gose playlist on youtube
i was watching from the actual beginning a while ago but it's so long i think i'll restart that sometime later since it's alot it'll be good to include as part of my routine in my days to cheer me up
i also want to listen to the entire bss album i listened only to fighting and i regret not thinking to check out the entire album bc they're really considerate idk how to explain it it's rly nice of them to think to make this kind of music
ah also i just started watching the devil is a part timer bc i finished season 1 of saiki and idk i remember hearing that this anime was also good
so far idk ig it's a nice watch? it's interesting like i always thought how'd they get the idea for it whenever i'd hear abt it
i think i like it so far i don't want to compare it to any other stuff i want to enjoy it as its own thing
the one i actually wanted to check out bc of some of the idk apparent themes? welcome to the nhk it's hard to get to into ngl so i'll continue watching it some other time maybe idk
i started a sideblog on here and ever since i haven't rly opened the app :/ so that's making me sad
ig i am kinda talking abt stuff let me get it over with then
idk if i talked abt this but most of the people i knew at uni are all graduating now
there was a group who i thought were my friends and i always tried to be a good friend to them from the beginning of when we met i would always let things slide and i would put up with alot i would just be supportive and respectful back even when they didn't deserve it just because that's how i am (i'm an idiot don't do this)
they're all doing better than me and finishing with their uni stuff and they've all left me behind
they never ask abt me or help me and whenever i'd ask abt stuff they'd always pretend to not know or lead me to a dead end or something like that everytime
so i just stopped asking and i was alone failing my classes and struggling with my stuff
they never asked abt me despite me being there for them and they never supported me or helped me
not that i expect this stuff back when i do it but if we're supposed to be friends then i don't rly get why they'd treat me like that
but i from the beginning kinda had a feeling they didn't like me and there was even another person in the friend group who felt the same and we ended up getting closer bc of how we had no one else and we were there for each other (sweet i appreciate them)
im in a group chat with them and they talk very vaguely or briefly abt their stuff like out of context like everyone's on the same page (im the only one not on the same page)
so today they send in a screenshot of one of the girls who got a rank in our department
and my first reaction is omg that's insane i knew she could do it she's awesome like if you were in her presence u could feel how she's hardworking and focused and im so proud of her
i guess it makes me sad that they never tried to help me or be there for me and if i ask they'll make the excuse that we didn't know but we are in the same situation so it's really easy to go 'ah i should tell z too to make things easier for z!' when u figure out something that u had issues with bc u know ur friend also has these same issues and it wouldn't hurt to help or tell them how you did it
it's actually really upsetting but thing is
1. idrc
2. my fault
i feel like they saw through me and knew that i wasn't doing well so they grouped together to work hard and do well
so they made projects together and studied together and shared what they're doing to each other but never included me
im not gonna let this make me think badly abt myself no matter how hard it is
i would never do that to anyone
i go out of my way to help even my classmates let alone my friends
and that's something i pride myself in i would gladly waste my day to make someone else's better or easier and i've done it alot before
i just feel really dumb that i did so much for them when they rly just thought of me as nothing? idk
they share their achievements after they're done and im happy for them but it feels like we're strangers like why am i here just to celebrate with you but you're not there for me for anything (im saying this rn bc they're messaging in another gc rn so i reacted with a heart)
im just gonna use the feelings this stuff is bringing up to push myself to study more during this summer and do more to help myself
and even though it's rly hard not to close myself off and make myself like they are im not going to
im proud of her and im proud of all of them i text them support and encouragement often for no reason expecting nothing just bc they're on my mind
im sad that it's not the same for them or even a little bit of the same thing but whatever i'll figure things out on my own
ngl friendships like these make my heart hurt (this feels dumb and dramatic but oh well? idk how else to describe shit i just hate this) like ah i rly forget people can be like this
like i value the friends i don't talk to much so much more whenever im reminded of this i've texted them that before bc these people fucking suck and being around them is awful it's so draining and i always felt guilty that i felt that but turns out it's intentional they do that only around me they're okay with each other
idc i need to focus on myself i let myself down all the time and it's so awful that i haven't been able to study
i was able to study just a bit this semester and i did my group work well but just with that i was able to lift my gpa up a bit
like it makes me sad imagining how much better my grades would be and how much better off i would be in general if i was able to do more and push myself more
i need to be able to work harder if i want to be more like my best self and so i can feel better and do the things i want
this goes more for watching shows and enjoying stuff i like and feeling happy without dreading that much or feeling awful all the time
i can do things and i use my time well
let's try to do that
im starting the side blog account tonight i'll do random study stuff for 2 hrs while listening to music
bc the saddest thing abt me is that i like life and i enjoy so many things but i can't do anything
i like immunology in highschool i scored the highest in a test in that and i was so happy bc i genuinely enjoyed it so much i remember i studied using youtube to understand it more and i just enjoyed it so much
this semester i had immunology as a course and i did not pay attention to one fucking lecture
i couldn't i was always overwhelmed with something else or in lab or just actually unable to focus which was most of this semester
fucking miserable
im taking my math heavy courses this next semester so i want to work on them
today i won't be studying my actual uni content but i'll do some practice questions from a highschool math prep book i bought from a rly cheap box outside a bookstore i passed when i was returning a package with my mom earlier this week
i also want to start doing creative writing or just writing in general but while increasing my vocab and remembering grammar stuff and formats for essays
but also learning the language im supposed to that's something i need to do really badly
so i will but in my own time for myself and focused on me
nothing im saying probably makes sense but i just want to talk abt it so it'll be somewhere and not with me bc i can brush it off but i want to use it to make myself better
today i think my grocery store outfit was rly good like i was overdressed probably and i never am so i feel like i was treated differently outside that made me feel rly weird and sad
my mom asked me to get bread
and we're going on a trip in a few days so i was looking through my suitcase of summer clothes bc unfortunately it's summer </3
and i also went to this market with my parents where i got jeans! i needed black jeans and i've been wearing the same pair of blue jeans for the longest time so i'm glad i got some
i also got a pair that i was excited abt but they're so long i can't wear them :/
oh i felt rly horrible at that market i forgot - everything didn't fit me like either the waist would be not even my hand width or the pant length would be too short
it felt awful bc while we walked around i also saw people wearing similar pants and they had the bodies that fit them
everything abt me feels wrong
but i don't think it is
i don't have to be the same as everyone i can be myself just improving
or at least that's what i'll tell myself ig
i can't actually be myself bc i don't have the life for that but the closest we'll get to it is this ig
the way i see myself cannot turn horrible bc if it does i will lose all the stuff that keeps me alive
the connection i have with myself and the support i give myself when i need it i don't get that anywhere else in my life and i rly need it
i value myself and the way i am
i understand it can feel wrong sometimes
but i know it's not
if i need a break i can take one and tomorrow or whenever i feel like i can continue i can do that
i'll push myself but i'll do it in a healthy way
ending this with saying i love going seventeen alot just the intro and outro make me happy and like relaxed i rly appreciate everyone's effort that goes into it and the thought and idk it's just something i didn't know i needed i'm grateful for it these past few days <3
22:20 20/06/2023
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(Vent abt body. Pls dont read if ur not in a good headspace)
I used to be a lot chubbier. I lost 30lbs in my later teens. Not due to dieting, i just got out of puberty. But i never hated my body. I thought my stretch marks were cute. I couldn't have cared less about my weight. I remember thinking i was plus sized (i was not, i just was going through puberty and my body hadn't developed yet) but i didnt care. I loved my body still and thought it was cute. I dont see being plus sized as unattractive. I think stretch marks are adorable. Once i saw a post describing the concept of cuddling up to your partner and tracing their stretch marks and i thought that was adorable. I find plus sized people just as attractive. So why is it different for me? Why do i hate fat on myself but like it on others? I dont know why i even dislike myself. I don't think im ugly. I think im attractive.... I just don't like my body and wish i was skinnier. I have no clue why. It makes no sense. I like thick thighs, i dont care about cellulite, i think acne scars look like cute pink freckles. But i hate it on myself. I dont know why. I think im pretty hot, but i still dont like my body and i don't know why. I see my friends with the same body types as me and they're adorable and look amazing. So why dont i feel satisfied with my own looks?
Maybe it was that one class i took last semester, that nutrition class. I think it enabled some unhealthy behavior and thinking... Because the class taught about nutrition but also calorie counting and stuff. Which might be good for some but not me. Maybe its because when i started losing weight, people commented on how beautiful i was starting to look. Maybe it's because im on tiktok too much (which i admittedly have an issue with and have been meaning to delete but cant somehow... I am trying to read a book whenever i want to go on tiktok). Maybe because social media makes people think of skinny pale people with fuzzy black hair when they think of trans/nonbinary people. I dont know.
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kpopper · 3 years
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ccrabapples · 3 years
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The way I view the world is so deeply rooted to the way I perceive myself and I didn't even realize it. I used to see a remarkable amount of beauty in everything including myself, until one day I realized that I just didn't anymore. My reality has become just as ugly as I have.
Like it makes sense since its not easy to marvel at everything but yourself, so your view shifts a little bit to accommodate for the pain.
I guess I'll just be stuck in my ugly little box until I find a way to not mind it anymore.
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necropsittacus · 4 years
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ignore this 
still slightly upset(?)/irritated about my therapist calling my idiotic nonsense "a crush" tbh like
no ive whined to you enough about how i don't Do romance and that's been A Problem with my relationships before. and about how much discomfort and honestly revulsion i feel about being expected to engage in that. it's an Entirely different axis of emotion. that's not a word i use and frankly it feels reductive even besides the "will people please Believe me about finding "romantic feelings" bad" aspect
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pengychan · 3 years
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Look mom, I'm making a callout post!
Well, not a callout as much as a warning to the entire Coco fandom, given what we found out about the piece of work that goes by "hobbyartist01", and what she has done to several fans for the past few months. I'll try to make a very long story short.
Be warned, there is mention of heavy homophobia and continued harassment.
I'm going to start from... near the end. When, a few days ago, this exchange between hobbyartist01 and some other users was brought to the attention of several people in the Coco fandom. 
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(Could I have blacked out the other people's names? Yes. Did I? Absolutely not.) 
I will not link you to the video in question because I don't think that pile of shit should get any views. If you're too curious to resist, you can find it on YouTube but be warned - it is vehemently homophobic and the arguments in it are absolutely vile.
As hobbyartist01 was in a Coco Discord server called The Marigold Bridge, this screenshot was brought to the attention of its admins and some users. Not only did it show a new side to this user we'd been unaware of, but it suddenly presented us with a possible solution to an issue several people had been dealing with.
Starting in January this year, several Coco artists and writers have been dealing with an especially malicious anon. Hateful messages were sent, harassing comments, and in some cases even personal information the anon had been able to uncover about them (though mostly outdated); this person has quite literally gone back years in one user's Internet history to dig up information they had posted as a young teenager. The mods were sent a link by a blog which turned out to be an IP tracker; the blog later deleted itself. This anon tried rather hard to doxx one of the mods, and expressed frustration over being unable to do so. Another Coco fan received an anon message with a link to their personal Facebook profile.
Due to some very specific conversations in the Marigold Bridge server being referenced in the anon's comments, it was clear this piece of work was among its users. However, the mods had no idea who it may be.
Until the conversation above was brought to their attention.
You see, a lot of the messages and comments the anon had been sending had very clear homophobic undertones, with some being straight-up slurs; and some, which was most puzzling of all, had some really weird fanatical comments about going to Hell for worshipping a character "like he’s a god". So, once we saw the ugliness behind hobbyartist01's cutesy art and facade... we began looking into her a bit more. And suddenly it turns out that clues were there all along as to the anon's identity, we just needed to know who to look at.
A combination of peculiar wording in the messages, timing, people who just so happened to be their friends being brought up in said messages and more, made us strongly suspect hobbyartist01's was the hateful anon who'd been harassing people for some seven months. None of it was proof, but as it turns out, there was a smoking gun: while we knew how the anon was able to doxx one person, the other - the one who got a link to their Facebook profile sent to them - had no idea how they may have possibly been doxxed.
They had been very careful not to leave anything online that might point to their  identity. And yet somehow the anon, who just so happened to be in the same server, had managed to find it. It was a real mystery... until they remembered a relative’s email exchange over some gift art with another user in the server, which contained information one could easily use to figure out their full name and find their Facebook profile.
And guess who the user in question was.
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As we put all this together, hobbyartist01 realized several of us had unfollowed her on Tumblr (we immediately hit the unfollow button after becoming aware of the homophobia, before we really began putting two and two together on the rest) and blocked us all, before creating a very obvious sock puppet account and inviting it in the server, to be able to stay in case of a ban. She clearly did not know that the mods could tell exactly who created each invite link. Not suspicious behavior at all, eh?
At this point, the mods confronted hobbyartist01. All the evidence pointing at her was laid down in detail, including the fact no one else in the server had the information needed to find out a specific user's identity, and hobbyartist01 was asked for an explanation. The chance to defend herself was there, but it was not taken; despite the mods waiting for days before enacting a ban, hobbyartist01 never responded - though in that time, she did delete her DA and Ao3 accounts. Not at all suspicious, again - this just about obliterated any doubts that may have been left.
So yeah, there you have it. We feel everyone in the fandom should be warned about hobbyartis01, ESPECIALLY any LGBTQ+ people - she is a malicious homophobe who has harassed people for no good reason for seven months, going as far as to bring up family members' names in her messages to create as much anxiety as possible in her victims. 
Keep away from this person, she cannot be trusted and we suspect she may have fake accounts.
Keep safe.
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hezuart · 3 years
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That anaversary aizen looks absolutely fabulous, he looks like a figure skater xd.
I heard along time ago the last arc of the anime was being animated finally bc they pulled a 90s sailor moon were the last season was not either animated or dubbed untill decades later.
I recall near the end of the current 366 episodes there was an episode were the creapy demon ppl woke up in hell and we're all bitter, and there was the other guy who was like, iM cOmEiNg FoR u IChIgO, but then is never mentioned again after and I'm like,why? Why is lt there just plopted randomly into a different arc that seams unrelated.
And locking aizen up underground seems ok, but It deff won't hold, and he will. Escape, and he will kill, you either need that one spell from star, dubbed, the darkest spell of moon the undaunted, a powerfull dark spell that killed immortal beings, that came from best character, eclipsa, the queen of darkness.
We need that.
Or stick him I'm crystal like eclipsa was in star. Is there no one who could trap him in ice or crystal for all eternity.
How about throw him into the centre of a volcano trapped and caged , forverr being killed by heat?
I assume there's space travel, send I'm into a black whole, were a black whole don't fuckin care if your immortal or fat, you will die
:3
Yes, I love anniversary Aizen. His original octopus-butterfly hollow design was ugly so I'm glad he's back to being the fashion icon he is.
Locking Aizen up underground once is one thing, doing it twice after saying he got more powerful by just sitting there, and he escaped to battle the Quincy Soul King God... is another. I think he should have escaped at the end of the Quincy arc. That is the only feasibility.
I heard the anime is coming back for the Quincy arc as well, but because of COVID its probably going to be delayed. (I'm not gonna watch it until the Rain section of the arc then I'm dipping out. I'm only here for Zangetsu)
and funny that you mention that hell scene in the manga :)
-> spoilers for the new BLEACH 73 page anniversary chapter / thoughts/critique on it
So hey you had a premonition! Syazel .... returned? And his hole is outside of his body??? for some reason???
(I didn't understand the explanation or why / how that happens and what that means for the hollow)
And my friend and I were laughing because out of ALL the things. Kubo could do in this anniversary. He gave Syazel his dick back after going to hell. That is iconic. (that's where his hole was located, and now that its not on his body ... well...) This is the funniest thing Kubo has EVER pulled. Kudos to you, sir.
The entire internet is freaking out over Ukitake being in hell. Honestly Kubo has done far worse, and we've established that Soul Society is a corrupt system that hasn't changed, so I'm not surprised he would pull something like this.
At the same time, Kubo 1. cheated his audience. 2. continues to prove me right that he cannot bring himself to kill his characters
1. Hollows who have commit murder in their human life are sent to hell. Syazel and Aaorniero are two of these hollows, and yet, when they are killed, there is NO gates of hell scene. We see them there later in the hell chapter (which was more of a promotion for the fourth movie and I didn't believe it would hold any merit)
But the same goes for Ukitake. We never see the gates of hell take him. What, was hell late? Did hell's gates get lost like an uber before picking him up? It's bull. Withholding such vital information from your audience, not showing the gates of hell when they should pick up this soul IMMEDIATELY is ... I mean its a lie. Kubo lied to his audience.
2. Now we are told powerful shinigami are sent to hell when they die. First of all that sounds like a security threat. Wouldn't shinigami want revenge for that? Or attempt to escape? Why would they still hold loyalty after being sent to a prison of eternal suffering?
Also "Yhwach and Aizen" were the only ones keeping Hell's gates closed is way too convenient and doesn't really make any sense. I feel like Aizen should have deliberately gone to hell to retrieve powerful shinigami / hollows for his army instead of keeping it /closed/.
This is definitely a Kubo-doesn't-know-what-he's-doing-and-is -making- stuff-up-as-he-goes, but it might have a pinch of merit because of previous plot lines.... but either way, there's some big plot holes here, but again, its Kubo, so I expected nothing less.
Again, he can't kill off his characters. He introduced zombification, he introduced immortality through the hougyoku, he has Orihime and Hachigen's reversal / rejection abilities. He brought back Luppi, friggen.... a character who's entire upper half of his body was incinerated. Like.... come on. No. He's dead, you can't bring him back like that. That's a cop out and just weird. You're taking away consequences and grief.
(Also Yamamoto and Unohana deserve to be in hell far over Ukitake, they've done some fcked up stuff in their pasts unlike him)
Also Kubo's favorite character is Mayuri, which.... you're allowed to have a favorite problematic character. But Keeping said character alive and bared from the consequences of abusing his daughter, murdering innocents, and experimenting on your own squad members? Nah. Nope. Kill him, Kubo. Kill this dude.
(his weird attachment to Mayuri is probably why he keeps bringing Syazel back, since Syazel is Mayuri 2.0, but Syazel is the bad guy who does face consequences for his actions while Mayuri is not)
~
Also, I'm certain Kazui and Orihime are going to be THRILLED that their precious husband/dad is going to hell when he dies :)
(I just... Rukia teased Ichigo about leaving Orihime at home. She teased him about having a house wife who he leaves all the chores to. Orihime had two panels. She checks on her son who promised he would be at home and sleep. Kazui fcking breaks his promise like it never mattered to him and JUMPS out the window after pretending to sleep in front of his mother. ... An 8 year old... alone... in the middle of the night.)
Orihime is abandoned. She is not invited to SS, she is not informed of what is going on, her son leaves her.... I...
Orihime is a side character. She doesn't matter anymore. She hasn't mattered for a long, long time.
A part of me is glad she had little screen time, since she tends to waste it, but another part of me is embroiled with rage.
I've even see people try to defend this. "Orihime and Ichigo can't be together ALL the time, that's an unhealthy relationship!" and I'm like guys... that's not the point. The point is Orihime is not part of Ichigo's other life. Any shinigami stuff from now on is none of her business. She's going to stay at home while Kazui and Ichigo go off and save the world. Ichigo is going to be fighting by Rukia and Renji while Orihime watches from the sidelines, or worse, doesn't even know what is going on with her husband and son. Orihime is going to be uninformed and abandoned, because she has not proven she is capable of fighting by their sides(go on, @ me. I will fight this. She's a failure.), and also because she prefers a human life over a dead one. Which is ironic, because she married a dead man. Ichigo is a shinigami, and he will be one forever. god forbid she ever meets his Zanpaktou. She would tremble in fear at the monsters her husband harbors in his soul, especially when she realizes they don't care about her and would rather see her dead. (Zangetsu would absolutely kill Orihime. Not sure about Kazui, but Orihime has not accepted Zangetsu, she does not like either of them, and the feeling is assuredly mutual.) frick now I want to make a comic about this
Also still frustrated over Zangetsu's shikai / bankai regression. Kubo once again lied to his audience. Ichigo has no bankai. How ridiculous is that? The main character of BLEACH doesn't have a bankai. Insulting.
(RIP to Chad. He doesn't exist anymore. He's just gone. No mention, no cameo. Gone.)
Kazui is a demon child. That character from the novels? Hikone? They're the same character. Literally same personality, same power level. Its worse because Kazui is a liar. He constantly goes behind his parents' backs. He can summon creepy fish and creepy eyeballs and open portals like is ANYONE aware of this? How has SS not kidnapped Ichigo's son and experimented on him / locked away his powers yet? All substitute shinigami require a reiatsu controlling / spy badge to keep them in line. Where is Kazui's? Or is he just a weird fullbringer?
I was worried Kubo was gonna try and pull a knock off Boruto but luckily he kept the focus on Ichigo and the others. But that being said, Ichika and Kazui are now just... sort of there? Kazui was kinda just.... having his own adventure that doesn't matter to the plot at hand, and Ichika had some nice characterization at first but she just hid behind her dad the whole time.
I have a feeling Kazui is gonna step in at the last minute or do some major behind the scenes thing that indirectly interferes with the main plot so no one will realize how powerful and dangerous he actually is. Its sad because Ichika is the superior character in personality and likability, but she clearly is not going to have a bigger part in this.
Ichigo having a normal life after everything still feels extremely boring and uncomfortable to me. Everyone's like 'I'm still bLEACH!" but.... BLEACH just... doesn't feel like BLEACH anymore. It hasn't for a while now.
~~~
There's two new shinigami characters. Didn't care for the girl, but the Sign Language kid who talks to animals is adorable ... however... he just reminds me of Chad, and I just... it hurts knowing Chad has essentially been deleted. Chad and Orihime are officially benched. They have chosen the human world, and Orihime has given Ichigo his spawn so she has no more use/purpose to him anymore... ////sigh
~~~
Also. This is claimed to be a new "arc". So is the BLEACH manga coming back? What is happening. I thought Kubo was tired and didn't want to do BLEACH anymore. I thought Shounen Jump cut him off. People made so many excuses for Kubo and why the past two arcs have been so badly written the past 6 years and now almost everything they've attempted to defend him with has been revoked.
BLEACH is going to continue to screw up its plot lines and characters, so Its probably best for it to stay dead but I've seen a lot of Kubo stans drooling over this content, they're desperate for BLEACH's return, but its already given out all its possible revelations. There's really nothing else to top here. It's just going to make things up as it goes along ,and I'm not really here for half-assed writing like that, especially since the damage of rushing the previous manga has already been done. Kubo and Shounen Jump are riding off a money nostalgia. None of this was planned.
Honestly though.... overall feeling of this chapter, not as bad as it could have been.
Syazel stole the spotlight, and he's my friend's favorite character, so that's all that really matters.
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viva-la-rebel · 3 years
Text
Goodbye
Hey everyone- this is my official goodbye for tumblr. This site has made such a huge impact on my views and life. I applaud tumblr for letting me explore not only myself but the (mostly) wonderful people on it. It was thru this site I realized I was bi. I made tumblr friends and got to explore my writing. Some of my favorite shows I started because of stuff I saw here.
However, as much as this site holds a place in my heart- I’ve outgrown it. I came on to the site at 15 on the day of Mishapocolyse (yeah that was my first impression). I’m in my 20s now and have a house and a dog and this just doesn’t have a place in my life anymore.
And, I have to say it, tumblr has a at times been a toxic place. I remember in my first months of tumblr, literally not knowing anything, I accidentally reposted art without credit. I was flooded with hate comments, telling me what a shitty person I was. I deleted it and reached out to the original creator and apologized. While the creator was nice enough, it did show me the first ugly side of tumblr.
A few years later I did a cute little thing where if you reblogged a post I made, I would give you a good message or something. Most messages I got were so wholesome, but there were others telling me how irresponsible and bad of me it was to do this because I would never get to everybody. I was trying to do a nice thing and it still wasn’t enough and was turn into something bad. (And I did get to everyone so fuck you).
I also made a supernatural video (ah yes my first hard core fandom RIP) and tagged it with some characters it didn’t focus on. The amount of hate I got was horrible. I had strangers telling me to literally kill myself over a shitty fan-made video I made at 17.
While the majority of tumblr is a great place to explore, too many of its users don’t want to have adult conversations, y’all want an echo chamber. If someone don’t agree or makes a different point (IN A RESPECTABLE WAY MIND YOU)- they are toxic and told to fuck off. I promise you- no matter what fandom or community you are in, it has toxic people. They only want to be told they are right and do not want to think but do as they are told. Do not be this person, that is not the way the world works. Even if you and some else agree on 99.9% of things, there will always be something you don’t. Be adults and have conversations.*
*this is not me saying any phobic or racists people get a pass on their views- y’all are the worst kind of trash. This is more about views on regular things
While this site has made me happy, it’s also taken a toll on my mental health (something people who post here preach about yet rarely hold themselves accountable for causing mental stress). I was so worried about making fucking strangers mad that I would have anxiety for days. Some of you are so busy calling out other people that you fail to look inwards and see who you are and what toxic traits you have. Ive people literally run off this site and told they are shit because they didn’t update fan fiction regularly! Fan fiction! A free fucking sometime a book-worths of story for you- for free! And they are told they are shit because they have lives outside and they don’t update at the exact time they promised.
I’ve seen this site grow wholesome communities. I’ve seen friendships made on this site. I’ve seen so many amazing pieces of art and beautiful writing. I’ve been lucky enough to talk to some really great people. But I’ve seen this site literally cause real world harm. I have seen this site turn people hateful, I have seen this site make people fearful of making one mistake. I’ve seen people such down, I’ve seen people afraid to speak up.
On a last note: just because you are liberal, and think everyone deserves rights, pro-choice, all that stuff (which I totally agree with) it does not mean you are a good person. You can be a bad person with liberal views. You need to be a good person to those around you first. Evolve and learn.
I know this post won’t mean much in the grand cesspool that is this site but to those who it reaches- this site is not the end all be all. Your true friends, who listen to what you have to say- they matter. Your chosen family and friends- they matter. So if you see someone getting hate, speak up because if someone did that for me- I might leave this site with a better taste in my mouth.
✌🏻bye yall
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