#mich vents

[slutabed]

I am feeling v emotional about my adhd this weekend and idk what it is (could just be my monthly emotions tbh who knows)

but idk it seems like one of those ~issues~ that people don’t take as seriously so I should just be over it and able to adapt and soldier on with it but I still have so many emotions attached to it for myself, past and present. i have so much anger and sadness and fear and pride and joy tied up with it and what it means for who I was as a child and who I will be and who I am now.

it’s really not easy and I have some friends who have a diagnosis and have meds and just live their daily lives hardly ever thinking about it. and then I’m here feeling like it affects each and every part of me and I feel like I must be faking it, then, if I’m the only one who feels this way.

but in some ways I see myself reflected (even if it’s just a character I love in a fanfic! who is on a lowered dose of stimulants in this chapter of the fic and is Struggling and Overwhelmed and realizing how hard it would be to do life without his support system) and i think maybe I’m not lying or faking or being over the top and maybe this thing does affect me a lot.

i couldn’t take my right dose of meds the past couple of days bc of a mix up with a new doctor and my prescription and a pharmacy so I was on a lower dose for a couple days, which made me feel absolutely unbearable to be around, and then I wasn’t on anything yesterday and today which was alright except today I got my period too and was just absolutely overstimulated by everything at the beach, the discordant music from competing boom boxes and the too-cold wind that didn’t quite mask the sting of the too-hot sun and the way my sunscreen melted into my eyes and stung. it was a lot on top of the pain from my cramps and when I got home my parents wanted to talk and I just. i tried but I had to go lie down for an hour just to recover from the day. and it feels ridiculous to feel so lazy and tired when my brain is going a million miles an hour but that’s how it is and I’m just afraid I won’t be able to sleep tonight and. idk I lost the point of this post at some point

#mich vents #adhd #it’s annoying bc I thought I wouldn’t be valid with just an anxiety diagnosis #and now I have my adhd diagnosis and I’m like oh that’s still too easy #i don’t deserve to struggle bc these are like the level one issues to have #everyone has them ergo no one does etc etc #my mother’s voice heavy in my ear #asking me if all my symptoms have to come from my adhd or if some of them are just the way I am #like yeah you have adhd but maybe you’re just over emotional and it’s not connected to it #maybe you’re just forgetful because you’re careless and not bc it’s a symptom of adhd #but I feel such tenderness for this character in this fic #i am so emotional for him and his struggle and I think I just want my own life to be in words #i want to be put on a page so others can have the sympathy for me that I so sorely need #or crave. it’s not that I need it I guess I want too much but #it’s what I want #idk

[bred-is-a-dumb-name]

I swear to God if one more person tells me "Well you look fine" during a flare up or otherwise disabling moment I might just snap. What part of invisible illness doesn't register. Do you want me to show you my fucked up organs??? Do you wanna see em??? Is that what itll take for you to admit im not healthy???? Augh.

#i called oit yesterday but was able to walk arpund and be fine today and my coworker told me that i look3d fine implying i was lying yesterd #ay and it just really fuckin sent me tbh. like bro am i not allowed to have good days after bad days?? what?? #having an invisible illness is impossible. if im displaying symptoms im faking it. if im not displaying symptoms then i was clearly lying. #if i go to work while sick then im clearly not actually in thay mich pain #if i call out then im just being lazy #etc etc etc #like i am seconds away from quitting of i get one more passive agressive comment abt not actually being sick #i literally threw up and collapsed from pain yesterday. just bc i can walk tpday doesnt mean im lying. fuck off. #aughghggh #bred.txt #vent #vent post #rant #young disabled #actually disabled #physically disabled #ableism #disability #cripple punk #cpunk

[movedto-clifflix]

'astarion is so lana coded' hALT DEINE FRESSE .

#junge nicht jeder tumblr sexyman ist 'lana coded' #bei gott regt mich sowas auf #vents #german #haha german vent go brrr #it’s not even a vent itS A COMPLAINT . #rah #🐸🦖— cliff speaks

[shower-phantom-ideas]

Just so yall know. Everytime yall respond to my tags im comin out onto tha porch with my shotgun cause yall vermits gotta stop goin thru my garbage.

#I mean come on yall it’s kinda embarrassing cause I normally vent in there lmao #I put the stuff im most insecure about posting in the tags #I used to hide em even further down by putting a lot of normal tags till you couldnt see my rambles #the tags are my shitty diary #I do this with almost every post too lmao #I used to be so scared to even post in there cause I was so insecure about my posts back in the day #I should say back in my prime because I had way better posts back then #has everyone stopped reading this far yet? #is the coast clear? #I used to post under different names in the tags cause I was so worried about how I would be taken #like anxiety to the max so I made up a bunch of fak mod names to post under #like the silly sonic ask blog lmao #see I never left the house (for like three years) and I didn’t know mich about being social #now I just hardly don’t care #still worried im a commit a hate crime by mistake #but thats a southern worry

[pencil-merchant]

Driving past the corn fields. Soon it will be corn time

#penciltalks #vent in tags #do not translate #Ich hab so gar keinen Bock mehr #ich will einfach nur im straßenrand liegen bleiben #Jeder gottverdammte Tag ist anstrengender als der vorige #Ich häng mich an alles was ich kann nur um weiter zu leben #und wofür? #ich bin einfach nur fertig #ich will einfach nicht mehr so weiter machen #hab ich andere optionen? selbst wenn ichs tu fühl ich mich eingesperrt #vent tw

[daughterofhecata]

Die Annahme, die mich an der Uni vielleicht am meisten aufregt, ist die, dass jede:r Student:in an allererster Stelle Student:in ist und keinerlei kollidierenden Verpflichtungen hat.

Denn selbstverständlich hat jede:r Student:in entweder wohlhabende Eltern, die alle laufenden Kosten übernehmen, oder bekommt großzügiges Bafög oder wenn man denn doch tatsächlich selbst arbeiten muss, dann doch sicherlich einen Minijob mit Arbeitszeiten, die man problemlos um acht+ völlig willkürlich in der Woche verteilte Veranstaltungen herum legen kann und der definitiv trotzdem Zeit für ein teilweise wahnwitziges Lesepensum lässt! Und warum sollte denn ein Auslandssemester ein Problem sein, es gibt doch Stipendien dafür! Es ist doch nicht so, dass ein:e Student:in vielleicht eine Wohnung hat, die eben keine WG ist, wo man nicht mal eben ein halbes Jahr ausziehen/untervermieten kann, oder einen Job hat, den er:sie nicht mal eben für ein halbes Jahr kündigen will, weil das alles ist, was die Rechnungen bezahlt!

#anyway. #i'm annoyed at this fine morning #uni adventures #german #kaj rambles #ich arbeite ~25-30h die woche #tut mir leid dass ich meinen dienstplan nicht um vorlesungen und seminare herumplanen kann die über die gesamte woche verteilt sind #und um einen haushalt müsste ich mich ab und zu auch noch kümmern #denn zufällig ist mein ''mitbewohner'' mein bruder der aktuell mindestens 40h die woche arbeitet plus beinahe 4h pendelzeit *pro tag* #to delete later #vent #german stuff #university

[estomia]

Eugh i feel so terrible i want to bury myself in a homeand never come out eughh everything is terrible i uate feeling like that i dobt even know where this is coming from but its here and i lowkey want to idhmfggzzhgdrrtt55ttttttttttzzujjuuuhhhh

#Poetisch #Melancholisch #Fick mich hart #Gehts mir scheiße #Grade hatte ich so Euphorie und dann bamm weg #vent

[schreckensbleiches-nervenbuendel]

es ist gut, dass mein Freund nur dann von der Polizei angehalten wird, wenn ich nicht dabei bin. Weil ich nämlich wieder so sauer auf diese Arschgeigen bin 🙄

Er war nervös und hat sich 'ne Kippe angezündet, nachdem die Bullen wieder ins Auto gestiegen sind und gerade wegfahren wollten. UND DANN STEIGT DER POLIZIST EXTRA AUS (OBWOHL ER FAHREN WOLLTE), UM MEINEM FREUND ZU SAGEN, ER SOLL DIE KIPPE AUS MACHEN??

Ist es so schwer, ihn einfach seine Kippe rauchen zu lassen, nachdem ihr ihn zu zweit in die Mangel genommen habt? Ist es sooo schwer, einfach zu fahren?? Die Sache war doch geklärt!

#I'm venting #I'm sorry aber ich brauch das gerade #ich hatte nie wirklich schlechte Erfahrungen mit der Polizei #aber ich hab mich schon als Kind richtig unwohl gefühlt wenn die Polizei in der Nähe war #Ich hab immer gedacht: boah die sprechen mich gleich an und nehmen mich fest obwohl ich nichts gemacht hab #Und wenn ein Kind schon so denkt..

[esoteric-terror]

god i hate transmeds so much

#shut the fuck up about how people using xenogenders so hreatly set back trans rights!! #wtf are u talking about!!! #we were never close and we still fucking arent!! and its not because people are using other pronouns that arent she/her and he/him genius!! #you people made it so mich harder for me to realize my identity bc i was scared of being cringe!! #the community i was surrounded by as a 12/13 year old sucked! #i forced myself to hate my own community bc they were happier about their identities than i thought i would ever be #youre halting progress!! stop acting like youre better than the ‘cringey trenders’ #vent #i guess #im so mad i hate them #ignore me!!

[pvremichigan]

You ever been in a situation where you love ships but your muse does not and also you’ve been used for just ships and also you don’t want to be ship centric and also you don’t care much for ship centric blogs and also your muse isn’t shippable with people and certainly does not put out anywhere early in the relationship so it could drive people away and also her personality can be very toxic and just not good to be around and also because of how you’ve been treated and your muse was cheated on without planning or plot that you’ve become a jealous shipper and also you’re so protective of your muse that even if a good ship did come along with someone that isn’t your main ship partner you’re worried that it just won’t be perfect for your muse even if it might so you shield them from other ships and also most of your verses are single ship and not available and also the ones that are multi ship you have no muse for and also you fear that people’s goals for a ship is just gonna be smut which is something you just don’t do often if ever with people you don’t know and also you’re tired of seeing ships everywhere being developed so quickly or pushed that you just loath shipping but still love it because you miss when it was fun instead of an anxiety fest and stage setter?

Put-put a finger down if that

#vent #[[out of ammo]];; ooc #this is why I only ship with Jay #I don’t want to have Mich and I be ‘tolerated’ #I just wish it wasn’t this complicated for me but ships mean so much to me #I want to stick with Mich and Jack since they click the best but I just wish I was open to this stuff #same with smut! I’m ace by minor traumas and I wish I didn’t use the block button so religiously on blogs that do that stuff #I’ve blocked so many people I don’t even follow just because all I see in the blog or recommended or interactions with others is smut #not even exploration. just smut. #I wish I could be normal about this stuff. I ENVY those who can be normal about this stuff #I wish seeing that stuff didn’t make me sick or panicky or anything. #and I KNOW why I get panicky and sick which makes it worse #I’m sorry I just had to get this off my chest

[sparkly-skies]

können wir bitte über das design der single reden danke

HALLO JA LAURAS BUAM WENN IHR DAS ALS T-SHIRT RAUSBRINGT KAUF ICH'S. ALS CD AUCH AUCH WENN ICH NOCH KEINEN CD-PLAYER HABE; IRGENDWANN ZIEH ICH AUS UND DANN KAUF ICH EINEN.

#amazing #i'm in love #laura du hast keine ahnung wie glücklich mich das gerade macht #ich war gerade in meinen feels tm weil ich das programm der unis wien und graz anschaue und sehr hart bereue dass ich nicht dorthin gegange #bin und wollte gerade einen sad upset vent noises post drüber machen. aber das ist aufgeschoben. das hat mich zu sehr zum lachen gebracht. #jetzt muss ich gar nicht selbst ein skelett im dirndl auf ein tshirt sticken! ich kanns einfach kaufen! #laura ich hab dein geburtstagsgeschenk gefunden: das tshirt aber mit pinker stickerei als deko auf der schürze und das cappucino-likör- #schwein als ausgleich damit du mir nicht die freundschaft kündigst #asks #mondscheinprinzessin #lauras buam #lonely spring

[insomniac-pbparker]

hell yeah

#peter prattles #i am not feeling powerful however. transition into vent post . WAPOW #yeah so just an injury tw in case #Ich habe so viele blaue flecken . fml #had a complete moment of pure bliss as i forgot german; english; and asl for a solid ten seconds #alles tut weh #Ich habe so große shmerzen but I'm not gonna do anything about it #bitte. schlag mich nieder #strike me down #healing factor would be amazing right now #instead I'm waiting because i pushed myself too hard agaain #pulled a.muscle; six bruises; and my jaw hurts again. und mir geht es schlecht #debating getting some painkillers but I think I'm gonna tough this one out as per usual #nein i don't need them it's whatever #I've been going to the gym more as of recent but if it's been ending up like this the past couple days then i think there's a problem #i passed out the other day when i put the weights away and i think thag may have been a sign of something #okau this is more than i usually overshare so I'm stopping here but agh. agony #tschüss #✌️😁

[wolfriver777]

Them mental breakdown is back on

#vent #kitten ill be honest daddy's about to kill himself playlist make me so mich more worse please

[daughterofhecata]

Okay, ich habe neulich die ersten drei, vier Kapitel von der Cotta/Goodween High School Reunion Fake Dating Fic grob geplottet. Aber das hier ist die Aufforderung an mich selbst, erst damit anzufangen, wenn folgendes fertig gestellt ist:

the snooker thing (Cotta/Victor, still without an actual title)

you walked into my life at 2am (Skinny/Ty)

the perfect part about it Kapitel 7 (Dad!Skinny AU)

optional, aber wünschenswert:

the sexting fic divergence (Cotta/Goodween)

the escort fic (Justus/Victor)

Immer vorausgesetzt, dass mich nicht in der Zwischenzeit irgendeine neue Idee total überfällt und vereinnahmt.

#wips #kaj rambles #mal schauen ob ich mich dran halten kann #aber ja mal wieder so eine kleine zwischenbilanz woran ich gerade arbeite #das noir au und die uuuuh vent smut fic sind fertig #the skinny/ty fic is at 4k and should come out at under 5k i think #the snooker thing has 4k as well but might end at a little over 5k maybe around 6k/7k at most #das dad!au kapitel hat uuuh vermutlich so fünfhundert wörter so that's the biggest issue tbh #hab eigentlich voll bock auf die reunion fic also mal schauen ob mich der gedanke daran motiviert?

[gorefetishizer]

Everytime i try to make plans for my birthday this happens next year I'm just gonna lock myself in my room and not come out until it's 12pm

#i just wanted to go out and buy a fuckable plushie that was all. didnt even try to throw a party or anything #also all that happened was that everything was closed and it was really hot and crowded aoutside and i lost so mich time in #this stupid little thing that i wanted and now i dont even have the energy to go buy simething sweet to eat so i stop feeling like kms #its so stupid and i get upset like a five yo #i just wanted a olushie and something sweet that was truly all but of course i shouldve had #expected shit to be closed bc of the date. everyone must be taking days off or something #i shouldve just waited till next week #i shouldve just let my friends come over or something now i just feel sad and lonely #vent #its so dumb. its truly so stupid

[unholy-pope]

Erwachsen sein heißt, Freundschaften beenden, wegen deren politischen Einstellungen...

#never thought i would end friendships because of their political views o.o #this shyt crazy but got no space for right winged in my life 🤷🏼‍♂️ #fuck macht mich das sauer #sorry for venting #links grün versifft im herzen und der seele 💜🙏🏻💚