Too Much Skin
Pairing: Richard Kruspe/Paul Landers.
Rating: General
Author: 747Love (AKA TardisMagic on AO3)
Summary: A new single leads to a new photoshoot and not all of the band is thrilled with the wardrobe choices.
(Note: I haven’t posted a story here before. Normally I post on AO3 but I followed some fellow authors over here so I thought I’d give it a go. Hopefully the story is OK)
Paul Landers was royally screwed.
He had no idea how he was going to survive the bands current photoshoot for their new single without the band, crew, management, their entire fan base and half the planet finding out he was hopelessly in love with his long-time bandmate, friend and confidant.
One Richard Kruspe.
Rammstein had used the intervening time from the cancelled stadium tour to record a new album and Paul, like the rest of the band was very happy with how it had turned out and after some mild bickering between the six of them and a final vote they’d decided what the first single would be, and this of course meant a new video.
Which lead Paul back to his current predicament.
Someone, and Paul would bet his soul it was Till, had decided based on the song lyrics the band members needed to be near naked for both the video and the photoshoot. Now normally near naked wasn’t a problem because let’s face it they spent half their time on stage in nothing but pants and they had done that video with discreet cock socks and well-placed instruments to maintain as much dignity as the video shoot had allowed. But then Paul hadn’t been in love with his fellow guitarist back then. Good thing too because that Kerrang shoot had been hard enough as it was.
Now though he was, and Paul was in paper-thin painted on patent black leather pants that hid absolutely nothing and not a guitar to hide behind in sight.
Of course, Ollie and Schneider had all been for the idea. Unsurprisingly neither Paul nor Flake were. They both felt totally stupid trying to pull off the sexy look the rest of the band had no trouble with. What was most surprising though was Richard had been the most reluctant. Why Paul had no idea. Even in his mid-fifties the man was slender, as disgustingly good looking as ever and could pull off the sexy look just by breathing.
He was so fucked.
Standing near the edge of the soundstage, Paul was cautiously shuffling as unobtrusively as possible away from the set and towards the less embarrassing freedom of his trailer even though he was due to be called on set at any moment. He wanted nothing more than to hide or lock himself in and refuse to come out until someone came up with better damn costumes.
Especially if it meant he wouldn’t be subjected to watching Richard who was currently in front of the camera and trying very hard not to look as awkward as he clearly felt.
When he’s first seen Richard, he’d nearly swallowed his tongue. If Pauls pants were tight, they had nothing on Richards, but they weren’t patent black leather. Oh no, Richard had to be in the tightest pair of pants known to man made from white leather that looked as soft as butter and hugged absolutely everything.
Everything!
It wasn’t fair.
Paul wasn’t even sure why they bothered making Richard wear them at all, but he’d resolutely avoided looking at him or trying not to be anywhere near him ever since. There was literally no way he could hide an erection and being in the same vicinity, soundstage . . . country as Richard right now was pretty much guaranteed to end with him sporting said erection and he wasn’t even remotely ready for Richard to find out why he was so turned on because of how physically and emotionally attracted to him, he was.
Then there was the utter embarrassment and ensuing teasing he’d no doubt be subjected to for the rest of his life because there was no way Till, Schneider or Ollie in his own way would ever let him live it down.
Paul was going to murder the three of them, Rammstein be damned.
He was just about to reach for the door to his trailer and so busy thinking up ways to murder his supposed friends and band members, each idea more painful than the last that he didn’t hear the approach of the very person he’d done his level best to not be anywhere near, look at or think about.
“Hi, Paul.” Richard said quietly, appearing next to Paul out of thin air and scaring him half to death.
Paul yelped and shot the bottle of water he’d been clutching into the air before scrambling to catch it. He missed and swore loudly when it landed on his bare foot. He manfully resisted the urge to hop on his other foot and rubbed the sore spot on the back of his leg instead and promptly smeared the spilt water up and down the back of his leather pants.
Richard’s eyebrows shot up his forehead. “Paul?” He asked, surprised at the reaction.
“Shut up.” Paul mumbled trying not to blush. He bent down to pick up the bottle of water, completely forgetting about his pants and much to his horror felt the seam tear.
He shot upright, dropping the damn bottle of water again and turned scarlet. He slapped both hands over his arse and shuffled away from Richard slightly, mumbled something incomprehensible and bolted into his trailer which thankfully he hadn’t locked.
Once inside the cool darkness of his trailer he literally peeled the fucking pants off, shoved on a pair of tracksuit pants, a ratty t-shirt and sat down, trying to calm his breathing and hope like hell Richard didn’t follow him.
Unfortunately, the universe apparently wasn’t listening to him when he heard a knock and Richard’s voice. “Paul, are you ok?”
He sighed. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He called out. “Come in.” he sighed again knowing Richard wouldn’t leave until he knew what was going on.
Richard opened the door Paul had forgotten to lock in his haste to escape.
“Why’d you run away?” Richard asked, looking hurt, or at least Paul thought he did but then he’d probably imagined it.
Deciding there was no point in lying, he grabbed his leather pants and held them up for Richard to see the split.
“Oh!” Richard said, trying not to laugh.
“Shut up.” Paul mumbled again, beginning to smile himself.
“They’ve had to sew my pants up four times today alone.” Richard admitted, blushing faintly, refusing to meet Paul’s eyes.
Paul resolutely did not think about Richard with split pants or why he had split pants in the first place.
“Whose stupid fucking idea was it to wear these ridiculous pants anyway?” Paul asked when he’d finally managed to drag his mind out of the gutter it apparently now lived in. Thank fuck Richard was currently in a t-shirt and tracksuit pants and not his obscenely tight leather pants.
“I’m blaming Till.” Richard replied. “Personally, I think he’s trying to recreate that fucking Kerrang photoshoot. While Ollie and Schneider would agree with the idea there’s no way either of them would have come up with this without Till.”
“I’ve been blaming him since the first fitting for the fucking things.” Paul admitted, making Richard laugh.
Just before Richard could reply there was a knock on the trailer door. “Mr Landers are you in there?” the disembodied female voice of the assistant director called out. “You’re next on set.”
Paul opened and closed his mouth not having any idea what to say when Richard came to his rescue.
“His pants need to be sewn up first.” He shouted.
“Can you pass them out please.” The woman asked politely.
He grabbed Paul’s pants, opened the door and shoved them into the hands of the surprised woman. “The usual.” He instructed before closing the door again. He turned to Paul. “That’ll give you a good hour or so until they’re mended. Leather, it turns out is an utter pain in the arse, pun intended,” he snickered, “to repair.”
Paul could only laugh in reply.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Two hours later and Paul was trying his level best to look as sexy as possible while feeling like a complete idiot. Trying as hard as he could to not show just how fucking awkward he felt, he imagined the camera was Richard and hoped like hell it was working. At the very least he risked looking more like a love-struck fool than sexy, but it was better than anything else he could come up with.
If Richard had looked uncomfortable during his earlier photoshoot, he had nothing on Paul. At least Richard could pull off sexy without even trying, although Paul was probably just a tad bit biased when it came to Richard but right at this moment Paul felt about as sexy as an octopus.
He hadn’t seen Flake’s photoshoot session, but he’d bet his entire guitar collection he’d been even more uncomfortable than he and Richard combined.
Paul was going skin Till alive, quite probably with Flake and Richard’s help. Slowly and painfully.
About the only thing he was pathetically grateful for at this point he’d managed to keep his mind out of the gutter and therefore didn’t have an embarrassing erection he had no chance of hiding.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Sighing in relief when his photo session was finally done, Paul walked off the set intending to head straight back to his trailer and get out of the damn pants. They itched in places he was sure wasn’t healthy, mostly where he’d forgotten to put the shit ton of talcum powder, he had to use to slither into the pants to begin with and chaffed in other places that were starting to become uncomfortable. He could almost feel the relief of getting out of them.
The thought of peeling Richard out of his popped into his mind without his consent prompting his brain to swan dive back into the gutter. He sighed and tried his level best to think of anything else but Richard in those pants.
Nope, Paul decided skinning Till alive wasn’t painful enough.
“Finally finished for the day?” Richard grumbled into Paul’s ear, scaring the ever-loving shit out him. Again!
“Fuck!” he yelped, whirling on Richard. “Would you stop doing that.”
Richard at least had the grace to look apologetic. “Sorry. I thought you heard me calling out to you.”
“Oh, no, sorry I didn’t.” Paul apologised. “I was too busy thinking up increasingly painful ways to murder Till.” He confessed, completely ignoring his thoughts previous to those of Till’s impending grisly death.
Richard roared with laughter. “You should hear Flake’s ideas.” He chuckled. “They’re alarmingly graphic and seem to involve an awful lot of Schneider’s drum kit going into places no drum kits should ever go.”
Paul’s eyes positively gleamed at the mere thought. “I think we need to have a talk with our keyboardist about this.”
Richard simply laughed again. “Flake’s still trying to peel his pants off. Literally.” At Pauls confused look, he explained. “At least we had pants, all he had was painted on latex and a G-string he kept calling butt floss. To say he was unimpressed would probably be the understatement of the year.”
Paul, who hadn’t seen Flake all day, gaped at Richard. “You’re kidding?”
Richard shook his head. “All I can say is it’s a damn good thing Till isn’t on set today and Flake won’t have to be here tomorrow.”
Paul could only laugh before resuming his walk to his trailer, Richard tagging along.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
After he’d peeled himself out of his pants and taken a quick shower, Paul moved back out into the living area of the trailer, sighing in relief.
“Thank fuck that’s over with.” He mumbled to Richard who’d followed him to his trailer again. Paul was very sure Richard had one of his own and was about to say exactly that when he had a terrifying thought. “We’re not going to have to wear those pants for the video shoot, are we?” He asked in dawning horror, his eyes as wide as saucers.
Sitting one of the couches staring at the floor, Richard’s arms resting on his thighs as he appeared to be deep in thought his head shot up at Pauls words, his expression matched Paul’s tone. “Oh, my gods.” He groaned, pushing his face into his hands as if trying to hide from the mere thought alone. “I’m going to murder Till, slowly and very painfully.” Richard mumbled through his hands.
“What’s the bet Flake spends the entire shoot hiding behind his keyboard.” Paul said, making Richard chuckle.
“No doubt.” Richard replied. He paused then asked out of the blue. “Have you seen what Till’s wearing?” His expression suddenly shifty. Fuck Paul loved it when Richard got that look in his eyes. The ‘I’ve just though up something you’re gonna love’ look.
“Noooo . . . “ Paul said cautiously. “Why?” He demanded. That expression never usually boded well for whoever was on the receiving end of whatever prank Richard was hatching and typically unless it was aimed at him, Paul usually tried to talk Richard out of it but since it was clearly being aimed at Till, Paul felt no desire what-so-ever to talk Richard out of whatever he’d thought up.
“We need to find Flake.” Richard said, and he was up and out of the trailer before Paul could even open his mouth. Paul scrambled to catch up with him. “What are you thinking?” Paul demanded, slightly out of breath as he struggled to keep up with Richard’s long stride.
“I’ll explain when we get to Flake.” He replied cryptically and enviably not out of breath.
Stupid long attractive legs, Paul thought to himself as he practically ran to keep up with Richard.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Flake, are you in there?” Richard yelled, knocking on his trailer door.
“Where the fuck else would I be.” Flake shouted back, clearly in a foul mood. Not that Paul could blame him.
“Do you mind if we come in?” Richard asked in a quieter voice.
“Yeah, I’m mostly decent.” Flake replied sounding slightly less pissed off.
Richard opened the door and poked his head in. “How are you going?” He asked the irritated man.
Paul resolutely did not stare at Richard’s arse . . . much while he wasn’t looking and therefore stood less chance of getting caught.
Paul heard Flake sigh before inviting them both in. “What up?” He asked, pulling a pair of loose-fitting pants on.
Paul and Richard plonked themselves down on one couch since Flake was on the other one and ended up sitting far closer together than Paul was comfortable with. He could feel the line of heat from Richard right down one leg where they were nearly touching. He struggled to concentrate on the conversation, the thought of feeling Richard’s naked skin against his running in an endless loop in his head.
“Do you know what Till’s outfit is?” Richard got straight to the point.
“No.” Flake answered, confused. Not having heard the preceding conversation he had no idea why Richard would want to know “but it’s not hard to find out which one is his. I’m just not sure where they’re hiding them?” he admitted. “What do you have planned?”
Richard explained his plan to sabotage Till’s costume to an increasingly gleeful Flake and a surprisingly quiet Paul. When he failed to get a reaction out of Paul, he turned his head to find Paul staring at him.
Paul struggled to comprehend a word being said and when he failed to respond to the plan while staring rather creepily at Richard, both Richard and Flake looked at each other. Flakes eyebrows climbing up his forehead.
“Paul?” Richard prompted resting a hand gently on his thigh, startling him.
“Sorry.” Paul apologised, blushing to the roots of his hair. “What?”
“Do you know where they’re storing the costumes?” Richard asked, his expression as soft as his tone of voice as a now bemused Flake looked on. When the hell had those two fallen in love and why the fuck hadn’t they realised this yet?
“I don’t, no, but I know which wardrobe woman you can ask.” He said, not particularly thrilled with the idea of directing Richard to the woman who had been drooling over Richard all day. Not that he could blame her in all honesty, but it didn’t mean he liked it.
“Why am I asking?” Richard demanded.
“She’s been drooling in your direction all day.” Paul said sourly. “If you ask, she’ll probably tell you where they are.”
“But I don’t want to go near her.” Richard muttered knowing exactly who Paul was talking about. He’d have to be blind not to notice the woman’s attention and hadn’t been at all thrilled by the idea she clearly wanted him, when he clearly didn’t want her.
“If you want to get near Till’s costume,” Flake said, startling the pair who had been staring moonily at each other without even realising it, “then you’re gonna have to go flirt with her Richard.”
Richard shuddered and sighed. “I would like to point out I’d rather do the video in those damn pants than go anywhere near her.”
“Or,” Flake said in the face of Richard’s clear reluctance, “We could put itching powder in the towels in his trailer.” He suggested. “Juvenile, I know but wardrobe can’t mend it and yes I know it’ll cost us money in lost time.” He said before Richard could open his mouth. “But quite frankly I don’t care this point.” Flake said, his tone final.
Paul immediately liked the idea much better and smiled happily at Richard before he realised what he was doing and dropped his gaze to Richard’s hand still on his thigh.
“That way.” Flake interrupted loudly enough to make sure they heard, making the pair of them jump slightly, their eyes darting to him. “You two can go back to staring sickeningly at each other and for the love of my questionable sanity will you admit you’re in love.” He huffed as he collected his things and left the pair of them to it. Even if it was his trailer, he was leaving them to it in.
Paul shot a horrified look at Richard hoping he’d missed what Flake had just said only to discover Richard was still looking at Paul and smiling gently at him. His expression could only be described as loving.
“Richard?” Paul whispered, his heart in his throat.
Richard lifted the hand on Paul’s thigh to cup his face. “I love you.” He said reverently before leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on Paul’s lips.
Paul automatically returned the kiss, they’d done them on stage dozens of times after all, without thinking until Richard’s words finally registered. He pulled back to look at Richard in surprise. “You do?” He breathed.
Richard nodded, suddenly looking nervous before dropping his eyes to his hands now clutched in his lap.
Paul cupped Richard’s face with both hands, gently bringing it up so he was looking at Paul. “I love you.” He whispered to Richard. “So, fucking much.” It felt so good to finally admit to Richard how he felt. Not having to keep it hidden or trying to pretend it wasn’t what he felt.
The smile that broke out on Richard’s face was worth all the worry. All the worry of him knowing just how much Paul was in love with him. All the worry that he would push Paul out of the band for knowing but most of all, all the worry that he didn’t feel the same.
“About fucking time.” Flakes voice came through the trailer door.
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