#men in star wars want one thing and it's fatherhood

[whenthesnowfelloverwinterfell]

Vatic - Chapter XIII " A Gamepiece "

Series Description : The youngest daughter of King Viserys and Queen Alicent grows up split between the two sides of her family. With dreams plaguing her sleep of people she does not know, and a war looming ahead of her. She will be forced to choose between the two sides of her family, between the love for her brother, and the loyalty for her sister. 

Chapter Description : Y/n makes her distaste for her father and for her duty as a woman known to her mother.

Warnings : Mentions of very young pregnancies, I'm pretty sure that's it? let me know if I'm wrong :)

Pairing : Eventual Aemond Targaryen x Targaryen!Reader ( cannon typical targcest idk what to tell you )

Word Count : 2.8 K

Jaeherys and Jaehera were perfectly content babes. Willing to rest in their wet nurse’s arms for hours at a time, just sleeping. Helaena did not like to hold them. Though, that wasn’t an issue. The eldest princess was four and ten years old, unprepared to be a mother to even one babe, let alone two. It had been seen as joyful news when Helaena’s maids and the maester said she was carrying a child, and although it seemed everyone else celebrated the matter, Y/n had not. Helaena had not been prepared for motherhood. It had snuck up on her not long after her wedding night. Y/n could clearly see how Helaena loved her son and daughter, she would hold them even though she did not like to. She would let them touch her though she did not like being touched and she would not react poorly. 

Was that motherhood? 

Y/n did not wish to know. But as the people of court become even more apparent to her now, she looked to Aemond for some sense of keeping herself grounded. Aegon was gone. Likely drunk in his chambers or out in flea bottom, far away from his newborn son and daughter. He had scarcely looked at them since their birth not long before Y/n’s nameday. He did not seem to hold love for the lives he had whelped upon his wife without Helaena’s say so. If he did hold any love for them, he did not show it. 

Was that fatherhood? 

She did not enjoy the new dresses she wore as of late. She did not enjoy the looks she received from the men at court. The dresses were always gorgeous, but she despised what they stood for. Her eligibility. 

The sapphire blue gown had been fitted to her over a dozen times to ensure the fit was right. The dress had been in the works for months leading up to her actually wearing it. And her growing chest kept changing the needed measurements for the gown. But they’d finally gotten it down, and she’d finally worn it to court. It caught the light of the sun shining through the windows of the throne room perfectly. Shining as though it were actually made of sapphires. The jewels around her neck, and hanging from her ears were. Her mother wanted everything to be cohesive, and hadn’t given Y/n the option in anything for the outfits she wore now. She wasn’t able to sometimes sneak a gown in anymore. Now that Helaena was married off, Alicent’s attention was purely on Y/n. 

The only thing Y/n found comfort in was the waist chain her mother had given her. It had once been Alicent’s mother’s. A gold waist chain with sapphires, and medallions in the shape of the seven pointed star. She would frequently find herself playing with the star on the part that hung down the front of her skirts when she had her hands clasped in front of her. 

Yesterday, she’d been gallivanting through the kingswood with Theobrand, bow in hand, hunting. Practicing. She’d been able to be at peace. Away from the Red Keep. The only peace she ever found now, was when she received letters from Rhaenyra, when she was with Aemond, or when she was at prayer with her mother. She had grown accustomed to the feeling of the stone digging into her knees when she prayed, she had grown used to the smell of strong incense, and the wax from candles. 

Y/n knew that Otto had told many people of the court that she was now eligible for marriage, and courting, but she did not expect some of the suitors that came her way. Lord Adrian Sunglass had been married twice before, and had nine children already. He was in his forties when he approached her. His eldest son had also approached her. 

Lord Lychester was closer to Y/n’s age, but she did not care for him. She did not find his ‘love’ for Targaryen history to be an endearing quality. Not when all he ever spoke of was dragons. He likely only saw her as an opportunity to gain more power and status. The wish for potential for any children to have a dragon. 

Aemond was preoccupied with Helaena and the babes. He had been curious about their new niece and nephew since they had been brought into Helaena’s chambers to see them. He often commented that they were smaller than he had expected them to be. Both of them had been too young to remember Daeron’s birth, and the birth of baby Joffrey had been so long ago that she could not recall how large or small the Velaryon babe had been when Rhaenyra had carefully placed him in Y/n’s arms as she sat beside Luke and Jace on a loveseat, looking down at him curiously. 

She had not held Jaehaera or Jaehaerys since their birth. She had gazed upon them and made note of their existence, but she did not wish to hold them. She could still hardly look at Helaena or Aegon since their wedding night. 

As Lord Lychester continued to drone on about Y/n’s own house, and their dragons, she began to pick at her fingers. Her eyes nervously looked around the room, watching the lords and ladies converse with one another. She could see Lady Ceira Lannister in the corner, gossiping away with Lady Genna Yarwyck. She watched as Maris peacefully chatted with other young maidens of the court, and as Aegon took a glass of wine from a tray a serving girl was carrying, saying something that caused her to scurry away from him. 

She wanted so desperately to escape. To find solitude, away from prying eyes, alone with her thoughts, dreams, and the tune she could not seem to escape from in her dreams. 

“I met your sister, Princess Rhaenyra not long ago. My brother and I went to Dragonstone. She spoke of you frequently.” Lord Lychester informed her, finally saying something interesting for once in their interactions. 

“Rhaenyra?” Y/n asked, her eyes now on him, her head craned to look up at him. He nodded with a small hum that sounded more like a chuckle.

“Yes. She seems to be quite fond of you.” He added. Looking out at the hall as well. “You seem to be more alike to her than the ladies at court.” He then peered at her from the corner of his eyes, as if to gauge her reaction. 

“I do not know what you mean.” She tested. 

“Oh, Princess. . .” He began, looking around them before looking back down at her. “I see the way you look at them all. You wish to get away. . . I could assist you in that. If you wished to spend most of your days at Dragonstone with Princess Rhaenyra, I would allow it. I would not force you to stay confined to Lychester Castle.” 

Y/n blinked up at him for a second, before she opened her mouth to speak. “Pardon me, my lord.” And as she ended her sentence, she did not wait for a response, and instead turned away from him and began in quick strides towards her mother, who had now also joined Aemond, Helaena, the babes, and their nurse maids. 

As Y/n reached her mother, Alicent noticed her, and her face changed from that of joy surrounding the twins, to one of concern for her youngest daughter. 

But she did not say anything as she arrived, instead only standing beside her mother, watching as Aemond spoke to the twins in High Valyrian. They looked up at him without any thoughts behind their eyes. Only curiosity to do with the one eyed prince. 

She could not help but look at them as well. Silver hair like the moon, and pale lilac eyes following his every movement. She could see a hint of Aegon’s nose in Jaehaerys. She could not help but stare. Is that what her and her siblings had all looked like when they were fresh from their mother’s womb? Pale, and completely innocent of any sin or wrong doings, awaiting for the day when their innocence would be ruined?

Was that childhood? 

Were all babes so innocent? So unaware of the truths around them? Was that the truth of coming of age?  Finally understanding the cruel truth of the world they were born into without choice? How could anyone knowingly bring a child into the world with the knowledge of cruelty? Every potential terrible fate that could befall their child? How could a woman possibly bear the idea of carrying a babe of someone they did not like? Y/n did not understand how Alicent had done it. Or how Helaena could have done it at an even younger age than their mother. 

Y/n knew she would not be able to do it. Was that why her mother insisted that Y/n choose her own husband? Was it so clear who she would become, to those around her? Or was it a hope they had for her, that she would be unable to fulfill? 

Y/n felt a pain in her chest at the very idea. Looking at Jaehaerys and Jaehaera, she could not imagine looking down at her own child and not feeling guilt. Guilt for her child at who their father was, and who they would inevitably become. 

She did not trust any of the men at court. She did not truly trust the kingsguard nor did she truly trust the men in her family. Aegon was to never be trusted, Viserys could not be trusted to bring any justice, Otto was willing to marry her off to a stranger for his own gain, Daemon had not seemed worth trusting from the little she remembered of him at Driftmark. 

She only trusted her mother, Maris and Aemond. And what would Aemond become when those around them considered him to be a man? She did not know if he would still be kind and gentle to her, or if the tendencies to be cruel in the training yard would consume him. She loved Aemond, He was her beloved brother, and yet, she did not know if she’d be able to trust him once he was a man. 

“Let’s see you to bed, darling.” Alicent beckoned, guiding Y/n by her shoulder away from the crowds. And as Y/n sat in her nightgown on the floor, holding a seven pointed star pendant, staring out the window as Alicent brushed her hair free of knots and tangles. 

They had not spoken a word to one another when Alicent helped her undress, and undid her hair. They had been comfortable in their silence. The sound of the hearth cracking, and the brush running through Y/n’s hair was all that could be heard. 

“Do you hate Viserys, Mother?” She suddenly asked, not moving a muscle in her body as she continued looking out the window, her eyes darting from each bright dot in the dark night sky. 

Her mother’s movements halted, and she could practically see her expression. “Your father-”

“Viserys.” Y/n interrupted, running her thumb along the medal star in her hands. “He may have been the one who sired me, but he is no true father. I wish for you to speak your mind on the King.” She heard her mother exhale quickly through her nose, and when she turned her head to look at her mother, she saw a bittersweet smile on her face. 

“Mother?”

“He is our king, darling. I respect him as such.”

Y/n shook her head. “You still respect him? Do you even hold love for him? After his negligence on Driftmark? He made you out to seem crazed over Aemond’s loss, he did nothing to defend his own son.” 

It was not something that Y/n had attempted to keep secret, her distaste for King Viserys since Driftmark. She did not trust not respect him since his disregard of Aemond being mauled by their nephew. She did not wish for Luke to lose his eye in exchange, but she wished for him to be held accountable for his actions. 

“Y/n. . . I do not need to love him. He is my husband and king, he has my respect and loyalty.” Alicent spoke, reaching down to cup the side of Y/n’s face so gently that she could barely feel her mother’s touch, just the heat of her hand. 

“He does not respect you.” Y/n’s voice cut deep as she mostly turned to face her mother. 

Alicent’s lips went into a thin line as she and Y/n held eyecontact. Y/n had not intended to say it, but it had forced itself out from her mouth. Yet it was true. Viserys disregarded Alicent as though she were just another lady at court and not his wife and mother of five of his children. 

“It’s not fair. You and Helaena are expected to respect your husbands, and yet neither of them respect their wives. Viserys does not respect you even as the mother of his children, he does not even hold love for the children you gave to him, Mother. And if you were to pass Helaena’s chambers after Aegon has gotten drunk, you can hear her crying. He makes jokes at her expense, makes her out to be a fool to everyone else at court. Why is it only expected for ladies to respect their husbands but not for the lords or kings to respect their wives?”

Alicent sighed, shifting herself in her heat to lower herself down to the ground to sit eye to eye with Y/n. “Men do to not frequently care for the feelings of women. Most matches are made politically between strangers. I understand your fears.” Alicent grabbed Y/n’s hands in her own. “I wish for you to be happy. . . that is why I have allowed you to make your own match.”

Y/n’s brows furrowed as she looked down to where their hands met. Alicent’s thumb stroking the back of her hand in small circles. 

“It is Targaryen custom for a brother and sister to be wed to one another. . . I have two unbetrothed brothers, who you could marry me to. Why would you not just marry to Aemond or Daeron?” Y/n questioned, looking back up at her mother, who now looked rigid. 

Y/n remembered the conversation she’d had with Aemond. He’d once asked Alicent something similar, and their mother had shut it down quicker than he could even ask. 

“Yes. It is Targaryen custom. But you are not just Targaryen. You have my blood as well, you are also Hightower. Aegon and Helaena were married to keep Aegon. . . safe. I did not want to have them married, but it was the only option. I do not agree with the customs of house Targaryen, and I do not want you married to Aemond or Daeron because they are your brothers, and they should remain as that. I do not want you to be forced to follow the path of almost every other Targaryen because it is considered to be custom.” 

Y/n slowly nodded in understanding, though she did not understand. Yes, she had Hightower blood in her viens, just as Rhaenyra had Arryn in her’s, but she was just as much a Targaryen. But she supposed it was different in some ways. 

“What if you did not force me? Mother I am not comfortable with the men at court. I would much rather be married to someone I know and am comfortable with.” She tried to explain, but Alicent’s expression did not change. She would not waver on this matter, that was becoming clear to Y/n. 

“It is a sin in the eyes of the gods. You pray to them everynight, you go to the sept on Maiden’s Day every year, you carry the symbol of the faith. You know it is wrong. Please, Y/n, please tell me you know that?” 

Y/n did know. She’d known since she was young, the way the septa would always teach about the faith to her and Helaena. She knew it was wrong because everyone else in the seven kingdoms would not dare to marry their brother or sister. It was an ancient tradition from Old Valyria that the Targaryens received special dispensation to continue, because everyone knew it was wrong. But it did not stop her from asking. In the hopes that perhaps her status as a Targaryen princess would allow her to marry someone she knew she could trust rather than a man who would likely always be a stranger to her. 

“Yes.” Y/n replied quietly. 

She felt as though her fate had been chosen for her. She had no choice in the matter. She was just a piece in a game, being moved about the board at her grandfather’s will, and her mother was doing her best to keep her hidden from it. But it was not working. Y/n was well aware of the truth. Otto Hightower would advise the King to only accept a match that Otto had deemed acceptable, and then would manipulate the King to agree to it. 

She was utterly useless in the matter.

Add yourself to the taglist !!

@disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @winxschester @blissfulbluenights @ghostlypineappl @dreaming-of-the-reality @strangersunghoon @shesjustanothergeek @floralsightings

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen x you #aemond targaryen fic #aemond imagine #aemond x you #aemond targaryen #house of the dragon fic #game of thrones fic

[archer-blackwood]

Can't commit to anything but a crime

Archer Orpheus Blackwood was rumored to be born under a dark star, that the family preformed dark magic under to gain more power. There are rumors that his father was really the devil and that he was born a deformed monster for it. -the truth is a lot simpler than all that. 

That he was just a normal boy born in the early hours of the morning to two parents who weren't all that interested in anything that wasn't good for their status in society. Archer was the fourth child, the second son and so it was determined very early on that as long as he did the bare minimum required of any good pure-blooded boy (marry another pureblooded girl and pop out at least one kid) that his life would be worth the effort they put into it. 

Archer had different plans. Not that he told anyone. He grew up in the shadows, half-forgotten and only remembered when they needed something. He did as he was told, he listened to them spew their ideals and simply waited for them to finish. The family didn't want his opinions, they didn't care what he thought as long as he just looked like he did. 

-and he did that very well. 

He did that very well right up until the tides of war changed. 

Then he turned his own wand on his brother, and in a single night took the House of Blackwood down. By morning the facts were this, Archer had killed his eldest brother. He had turned his parents over to the authorities with a mountain of evidence that would leave them rotting in Azkaban for the rest of their lives. His sisters struck from the family line by his own wand, and forced to leave England all together least they meet the same fate. 

(The truth was a bit messier, that his brother was a fucking mad man planning to murder all of London to prove himself to the Dark Lord. That his parents were just as fucking twisted and were eager to join. That his sisters weren't much better and married to men who were worse.)

The end result is that Archer is a man followed by whispers. While his actions were violent and damning, he did ultimately help stop dark wizards. Most can not fully form an opinion of him. Archer makes no move to hide who he is, he is a man known for his indulgences, his tastes for expensive things, women and drinks. He doesn't hide the fact that he enjoys his position as judge in the ministry, that he is in control of the vast Blackwood wealth. 

He doesn't pretend that the rumors help keep everyone a little afraid of him. Archer lives a lonely life but it is one of his own making. 

+

The thing with Elizabeth Greyback is...it's an affair that has no real explanation. There's no love between them, no softness that either of them can give; it's a mess. One fueled by drink and loneliness. Archer isn't a beast, but the world paints him as one and Elizabeth, well she is one but the world tends to forget under it all, she's still also a woman. 

Between the shadows, Archer and Elizabeth reach out for each other. Not out of desire, but something crueler and it leaves them both with scars. They know its damaging, this affair, that absolutely no one will understand it (they don't understand it themselves) that putting a light on this will only damn them both. They might both be monsters, but they have their masks. They both know that whatever this is, it can't survive in daylight. 

It should end. It would.

-but not before Elizabeth finds herself knocked up. 

She tells him, makes the choice to keep it and Archer accepts that best he can. "No one can know...if they know he's mine..." Archer tells her bluntly. Elizabeth nods, holding a hand protectively to her rounded middle. There's no real love between them, but both are not the type to mince words. She never had any intention of pushing him into fatherhood. The mere idea that they could go public with this affair, and also drag a child into it, is a cruel one. Greybacks are in better standing, but only just and very recently. The skeletons in their closets are no where near ready to be buried. Add in Archer's crimes and the Blackwood history and it's a recipe to damn some innocent child to a lifetime of pain. He is no father, but he doesn't want to put a kid through that if he doesn't have to and the honest to god truth is, he doesn't. Elizabeth comes from a good family, a protective one. Who will be able to shield and raise the child far better without him.

"It will be better if I don't get involved."

"Duh. Kid is already going to have a hell of a time dealing with me as a mum." 

"You'll be fine."

"Don't be an idiot. I'm going to be a mess...but I think I want to try." She whispers, a little sad because she knows after this, they will never see each other again. Not like this. From now on, they are strangers. "Kinda sucks. I'll be the only one to know you've reached DILF status and I won't be able to fuck you. That's some Greek tragedy level shit."

"Such a way with words you have. Poetry." Archer muses. Helping her into her coat as she walks towards the door. Part of him wonders if he should, for old time sake, kiss her goodbye but Libby moves out of his touch and he lets that thought go. "If you ever...really do need anything. You can come to me."

She gives him a sharp grin, "Maybe when you get some grey in that hair of yours."

Its the last thing she says to him. A few months later he catches wind that she's given birth to a healthy son, named Milo. It takes the air from his lungs for a moment. To know that he has a son, that somewhere out there in the world, is a little being made from the likes of him and Libby...but he pushes the thought out of his head. 

Milo Blackwood would be a terrible name anyways.

[cabdane]

#HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO THEM 💙💙💙 #men in star wars want one thing and it's fatherhood #darth vader #anakin skywalker #bail organa #jango fett #sergeant hunter #han solo #din djarin #owen lars #galen erso #saw gerrera #cut lawquane #kanan jarrus #caleb dume #star wars #the empire strikes back #revenge of the sith #attack of the clones #the bad batch #the force awakens #the mandalorian #rogue one #the clone wars #sw rebels

[marvelslvt]

Night knights and babies ? 😢

Personally, I really really don’t want kids but I can’t deny that seeing men be good with kids is attractive.

Thoughts on the Night Knights and babies

Marc Spector

Honestly, from the moment you told him you were pregnant, the fear of Khonshu was struck into him. He’s deftly afraid that after every with Diatrice he will fuck up. He might, but he will always over correct. He might even beat himself up over his mistakes. He tries very hard to show his baby that his love is entirely unconditional, especially if they have any mental health issues. His relationship with his parents was difficult and he would never want to perpetuate that with his children. You will always find him reading a book, especially about space to his baby. He’s definitely gonna get them into Star Wars early on. Overall, a loving an attentive father, if a little overbearing.

Jake Lockley

He’s a very sentimental father. He’s the one to document their first steps and their first words. Because he wants both his baby and spouse to be well taken care of, he’s always the one to get up when the baby cries. You’ll notice he cooks more. He cleans up after the baby all the time. He might be the overly cautious dad, but he means well. He also is very likely to be the dad who always picks up the baby when they want to be, always takes them to the park when they ask, and always buys them ice cream when they look up at him with their big puppy dog eyes.

Mr. Knight

In the best way possible, he’s the kind of dad who treats his baby, no matter how small, not necessarily like an adult, but more like a person. He talks to them about his cases. He asks them about how things are going for them and listens attentively. He’s very blunt and doesn’t sugar coat things. It may seem odd to some but he can’t see a point in treating his child any different than that. They’re a person and the real world is unfortunately, real. He wants them to know they can talk to him about anything and they’re a person to him before anything else. He also wants them to be prepared for life.

Steven Grant

He’s not as panicked about fatherhood as Marc is but he’s got a healthy dose of nervousness. Steven is likely to dive into making sure everything is perfect for his little one. Perfect nursery, perfect home, perfect absolutely everything. You may need to let him know to slow down. After the baby is born, Steven becomes a full on PTA dad. He means well but goddammit, Susan was supposed to bake cookies for the kid’s after school soccer game but now she can’t make it so he has to order gourmet froyo or something. He’s literally just the most extra dad.

#moon knight #marvel #marvel comics #marc spector #mr knight #comics #steven grant #jake lockley

[madsdefencesquad]

Okay I got boooored so here’s a Kevison magazine fic I wrote for Kevison nation coz I love yous and we deserve to see Kevin talk about his fam magazine-stylez coz you know he’ll be gushing all the time about them, like you just KNOW IT.

Kevin Pearson on life, fatherhood and what’s next for him by x March 2028, Spring edition

It’s been twelve years since the impassioned The Manny star Kevin Pearson announced to the world that he will be quitting the role that had started it all for him. Pearson’s public meltdown was excruciating, to say the least, but it was this very act of defiance that led the actor towards the path of the actor-crusader that he is now known for—a revolutionary who defied the odds and ultimately defined him as one of the greatest actors of his generation.

After a slew of tabloid-worthy dalliances with famous co-stars including the soap operatic love triangle with Tony award-winner Olivia Maine and his Back of an Egg co-producer and playwright Sloane Sandburg, to the court-ordered rehab stint after a DUI arrest, Kevin Pearson has done nothing but illicit the kind of stories that tabloids are desperate to display and monetise from in full view. All of these seemed the perfect pivot points for the actor, basking in the affordances of all this fame and fortune albeit in a trajectory of a complete career-destruction, but the actor was by no means deterred in proving that he can and should be taken seriously in his acting craft.

Pearson came through with striking, emboldened performances: a soldier with an inability to confront his demons in the Ron Howard-helmed World War II flick opposite Sylvester Stallone, and an embittered cop in the M Night Shyamalan action flick Stairs to Nowhere. But it wasn’t until his role as a disingenuous trial lawyer in the 2020 Jordan Martin Foster film Glass Eye that earned him his first ever Academy Award nomination and eventual win that proved to the world that when he puts his mind to it, Kevin Pearson can truly achieve the kind of acting greatness worth the lauded applause.

Pearson, who was born and raised in Pittsburgh before moving to New York and eventually Los Angeles, has spent a good amount of his life in the public eye. Though his sunny, easy-going persona and physicality have been compared to the likes of Chris Hemsworth and (supposed rival) Chris Evans, the Pittsburgh-bred Pearson doesn’t feel the need now to prove that he is anything but a conscientious actor and a dedicated family man.

It’s a warm, spring afternoon when I ring the buzzer of a sprawling floor-to-ceiling glass residence tucked away in a town in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. The little lady of the house, barefoot in a floral-print dress, greets me with an encouraged wave from her father, who is cradling her against him upon opening the front door. “She’s not normally this shy,” Kevin says with an affectionate grin as he leads the way to the sitting room, his little girl curiously taking peeks at me with what I garner is her mother’s soft blue eyes given Kevin’s famous warm browns.

The newly built residence is a remarkably private house perched on a dramatic hillside overlooking a panoramic view of the verdant surrounds, which Kevin says, “keeps the family very safe from prying eyes.” This feature, of course, was at the forefront of his mind prior to laying its foundations there.

“There’s one main reason as to why I chose to build here specifically,” he says. “But I’m not gonna bore you with the details. Let’s just say, I’m honoring a memory. Makes me sound real poetic, doesn’t it?”

Throughout Kevin’s career, he’s been known to talk quite candidly about his love and appreciation for his mother, Rebecca Pearson, with his Oscars acceptance speech having heavily featured his immense gratitude to her as would a loving son. But, as we move along the elegantly furnished corridors with him pointing and elaborating at the various artworks decorating the walls and the spaces, it is obvious that Kevin has an unrivalled affection for his wife that is quite notably special.

We make our way to a sitting area outside where we are entreated to the sounds and sights of a naturally filtered swimming billabong with cascading falls—a modern feature incorporated with the Japanese Zen garden landscaping that is just breathtaking to behold in person. “I wanted to make it feel as authentic as the ones you find in Japan,” he says, sitting on one of the cushioned recliners. He pours me a glass of red wine while he settles for chilled tonic, his little girl now helping herself to some olives and crackers.

There is an air of rare contentment around Kevin as he laughingly recalls his twins’ daily shenanigans. “Nothing really compares to coming home to them,” he says. “And I’m not trying to sound ungrateful or anything, but I’ve been [working my whole life] and I’ve only had my wife and kids just short of a decade, and that’s nothing! So, I do what I can to be home in as most days of the year as I can.”

When asked whether he’s perhaps heading into the territory of acting retirement in favour of other pursuits like directing or producing, Kevin thinks it can go either way.

“The other night in bed my wife suggested I do voice acting,” he says, to which his little girl unintentionally responds to in glee as she, her feet now strapped in light-up sandals, runs the width of the garden (within sight of her dad, of course) with her Jessie and Bullseye dolls held high. “She knows me too well,” he says fondly of Madison, his wife of eight years now. “I’d love to have my kids watch a movie that dad’s in without having to wait till they’re teenagers. And I hate thinking of my babies as teenagers! God, it’s just the worst age!”

Kevin recalls his teenage years with the kind of accepted embarrassment fit for a 48-year-old, but he laughs saying, “But I see a little more of their mom in them than me so that gives me hope. I’d hate to think I passed on angsty teen Kevin to either one of them. Just serious kudos to my parents for putting up with me all those years. I must’ve been a nightmare.”

From endorsing the des Resistance popular eau de parfum for men to his Armani-clad behind splashed on every billboard in the country (much to his chagrin and to his wife’s entertainment), Kevin Pearson has always been quite the go-getter, and though his “yes man” days in the industry are over, he’s always open to other ways in which he can challenge himself in his craft without compromising the time spent with his family.

“They’re my first priority, no questions asked,” he says. For a kid, who grew up in a middle-class family with parents whom had high hopes for their future, Kevin says that now, as a father himself, his perspective has shifted as to what’s really important and what’s not.

“I think a lot of the time there’s an expectation for your kids to meet the standard their parents have set or even go beyond it,” he says. “But that’s just toxic, you know? And it puts a lot of pressure on them to be someone that they’re not and not meant to be.”

Kevin is candid about his insecurities as an actor and as a father and as a husband, but there is a masterful acceptance there that he gives full credit to his wife. “We’re not perfect people, perfect parents,” he says. “And we’ll never be. That’s just a fact of life. But getting to do this with your person, the love of your life makes the biggest difference. I used to think that my parents had the greatest love story ever, and I used to really idolise it, you know, but honestly I think Madison and I can probably rival that.” And he thinks that if he’ll ever write, direct or produce a script, it’ll be about him and his wife’s sweeping and unconventional love story that will be the “tear-jerker of the century. Like, A Walk to Remember or The Notebook level but like better!”

I ask him what Madison would think of his plans to unleash their love story to the world, and as if on cue, he fishes his phone from his pocket and utters a “just a sec” before leaving to grab his daughter and take the call.

Following his game-changing Academy Award win in 2021, Kevin had let himself free fall in the industry as a kind of versatile actor in roles where he sweeps you away with gut-punching monologue deliveries coupled with an intensity that comes in through the eyes. He hasn’t delved into comedy since his Manny days though, but there is a certain cajoling ease in his demeanour that could easily challenge his funny bone.

“It’s Madison,” he returns not long after and settles himself down again, his daughter handing me a pizza-shaped play-dough I pretend to munch on. “She’ll be home soon. You should meet her. You’d love her! Everyone does not that it’s surprising.”

And who could deny that offer?

Kevin shows me a photograph of the twins on his phone at their cousin’s birthday whom they celebrated with in California last week and qualms that they’re growing up way too fast—yet another reiteration that he is as doting of a father as he is a consummate actor. He thinks that though Hollywood is a lot less ageist in terms of film and TV roles, there is still that pressure not to succumb to filling a role just because you’re the right age for it.

“Ever since my kids were born, I’ve been approached to do a lot of dad roles. Like my agent would send me about five scripts a week where my character is supposed to be this stereotypical dad.  I’ve rarely taken any of them because I feel like it’s like they’re just trying to fit me in to a role just because I can say, ‘Oh hey, yeah I’m a dad now, I know what that means or what that looks like’, and not that that isn’t a good thing per se, but there’s a difference between the director wanting me to put my own spin to it as Kevin Pearson the actor versus them just wanting Kevin Pearson the dad. The way I approach parenting my kids, the way my wife and I do it, would be different to the way my character in this film would parent his kids. Sure, there may be certain overlaps, but it’s not going to be full Kevin Pearson the dad, you know? So, it’s hard with that kind of expectation.”

As the sun dips a little lower and it gets a little cooler, Kevin takes us back to the house just in time to finally meet Madison and their little boy, who looks strikingly like his father though, upon closer inspection, actually looks a little more like his mother. But there is one undeniable feature of the twins that definitely comes from both parents: the adorable identical dimples adorning their little chins.

Madison Pearson is as beautiful in person as she looks in photographs standing beside her husband in premieres and events. With her light-blue eyes and warm, soothing voice that sounds both delicate and excited at the same time, Madison is nothing but the embodiment of all things lovely.

“She grounds me,” he says adoringly, watching Madison and their kids flit about in the kitchen arranging dinner. “There isn’t much I can say that’s good about me if it hadn’t been for her. I can be ambitious and sometimes there’s always that pull towards something bigger but not necessarily better and she tells me honestly. She calls me out. And everyone needs that, you know? A frank person who won’t sugar coat anything, but they do it because they love you.”

It’s easy to imagine Kevin in gritty noir films playing bad cop, good cop or even as an intimidating trial lawyer, but Kevin as a family man is the role that is perfectly suited for him, almost like it’s created especially for him. As a father, he thrives on the affections of his kids, and as an actor, he finds pleasure in what’s he’s good at. And as a husband, his smile is the widest. “Not gonna lie, her not even being slightly jealous of that one time I did a love scene still gets to me,” he jokes. But it’s obvious that it bothers him not one bit. He enjoys being Madison Pearson’s more than anything.

“It’s crazy to think that people are inspired by what I do and who I am when for most of my life, it was 100% the other way around. It’s a huge responsibility, really, but I take it as it goes. I have my kids on the back of my mind now every time I make any decision, and I have a wife to love and support too, so it’s easier to not feel trapped by people’s opinions and expectations of you when you’re too focused on them and being the best person you can be for you and for them. So, it’s about growing every day, and enjoying all that life has to offer, and making every moment count.” x

Particular shoutout to my GC gals coz like ILY 5EVS @wallofweird @betweensunflowersanddaffodils @thisiskevison @thesocietalmisfit @tryalittlejoytomorrow @lullabiesandgoodbyes @flythesail @ourfinehouse @elephantsneedwater @holding-up-the-universe @smoakingpinklipstick @purpleinthesky

#kevison #kadison #seriously let's get rid of this tag @ sterling better not be annoying af next ep aye!! #hope you enjoyed kevin gushing about his family lol #i'll probs make another one but less formal and more kevison-centric #but I just love love loveeeee imagining dad! and husband!kevin sah much #so don't mind meee #anywhooo #kevin and madison #kevin pearson #this is us madison #kevison fanfic #kevison fic #i have not written in 5eva but boyyyyyy this was sah much fun #Kevin Pearson #TIU #tiu spoilers

[elareine]

Fic Masterpost

For a masterpost of my tumblr ficlets, see here.

Note: I’ve added fics with multiple pairings to every relevant category.

Jason Todd/Tim Drake

Secret Witness (34k, ao3) CSI except with ghosts. WIP. 

A Hope Like You (12k, ao3) A/b/o with single dad Jason and identity porn. WIP. 

Silver and shadow and vision of things not seen (8k, ao3) WW2 and post-WW2 urban fantasy noir. WIP.

Turn yourself toward home (4k, ao3) Retired pirate seeks retired navy officer.

The space between us (8k, ao3) Mr. & Mrs. Smith in space.

Hold me (like you held on to life) (6k, ao3) Vampire sex to spite the parents.

If I know you (4k, ao3) Annoyed witch cares for sleeping prince.

Lifelong learning (5k, ao3) College, but it’s not an AU.

safe with me (14k, ao3) Figuring out intimacy, with a dash of d/s.

Ornamental (2k, ao3)  Christmas party butt plug fun.

Far away (1k, ao3 I tumblr) + So close (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Tim’s in space and then he’s not.

Like no other pain (2k, ao3) Soulmates, but Tim makes it angsty. 

If I had a type (then baby it would be you) (1k, ao3 I tumblr) One-night stand with surprise bondmark.  

The Sacredness of Tears (13k, ao3)  Tim gets the ability to travel through time, but somehow that’s not the main story. 

The Reluctant Brides (13k, ao3) Genderbent regency.

Adamare (9k, ao3 I tumblr: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) Harry Potter AU. 

What demons they carry (5k, ao3 I tumblr: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14) Outsider POV of demon!Tim.

Shelter (19k, ao3) Royalty arranged marriage. 

glaukopis, promachos, atrytone (4k, ao3 I tumblr:  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) A god and his reincarnated lover.

Not the hurricane (2k, ao3 I tumblr) Soft handjobs. 

Night falling softly and without mercy (4k, ao3 I tumblr) When you want to marry your bodyguard but are pretty sure he means to kill you. 

Reasons to be jealous (4k, ao3 I tumblr) Unfounded jealousy crack. Side DickDami.

Just a fool for you (6k, ao3 I tumblr) The Regency Daemon Thing. (Part two of ‘foolish, perhabs’)

A fool’s game (1k, ao3 I tumblr)  Outsider POV of The Regency Daemon Thing. (Part one of ‘foolish, perhabs’)

A fool to believe (2k, ao3 I tumblr) Epistolary companion to The Regency Daemon Thing. (Part three of ‘foolish, perhabs’)

Blood will tell (9k, ao3) October Daye AU. 

So easy to begin (4k, ao3) Dealin’ with fear toxin and trauma, a/b/o-style. 

Somebody ring the alarm (2k, ao3) Strangers flirting while undercover.

To love and to honour (6k, ao3) Five anniversaries and a wedding. 

A question of trust (3k, ao3) Jason hides an injury.

The Wedding Job (3k, ao3) Leverage-style heist.

One day the slipper fits (2k, ao3) The perils of not-dating. 

Dick Grayson/Jason Todd 

clock ticking (sudden silence) (7k, ao3 I tumblr) Dick’s soulmate timer is an asshole. 

The stars gaze back (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Stardust AU with more swearing.

In the Shallows (20k, ao3) Celebrity ‘She Loves Me’ AU.

I dream of our story (our fairytale) (1k, ao3 I tumblr)  Epilogue to In the Shallows. 

A revolution is a simple thing (6k, ao3) Anastasia AU.

Dick Grayson/Damian Wayne

Soft, sweet (and never too much) (2k, ao3) Sweet and kinky PWP.

Don't make me close one more door (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Bodyguard AU. Dami goes undercover and develops feelings. 

Misperceptions (6k, ao3 I tumblr) DamiDick-centric compaion to Reasons to be jealous.

Damian Wayne/Tim Drake

These stars will guide us home (2k, ao3 I tumblr) Developing feelings while being far apart.

Vigil (4k, ao3 I tumblr) Injuries, cuddles and feelings. DamiTim, Joyfire+Dick.

That sacred bond (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Fake marriage for the aliens.

Jason Todd/Roy Harper

Winners get road rash with @scootboot97​ (3k, ao3 I tumblr) College AU dorks and oral. 

Of wizards and black knights (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Cyberpunk damsel in not-so-much distress. 

Dick Grayson/Bruce Wayne

Wonder (2k, ao3) Officer Grayson partners up with Batman.

All that's dead and gone and passed tonight (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Hunger Games AU. 

Tim Drake/Conner Kent

Met a boy (cute as can be) (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Summer romance.

Snow comes down in June (2k, ao3 I tumblr) College dumbasses try to stay friends.

Jason Todd/Damian Wayne

That word on your skin (2k, ao3 I tumblr) Getting the same tattoo is one way to ask for a date.

warmth, shared (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Jason’s feeling old and gets cuddles on a mountain.

Jason Todd/Roy Harper/Tim Drake

At its core (1k, ao3 I tumblr)  Considering fatherhood and marriage. 

Turning point (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Cuddles against nightmares, with a surprise ghost.

Other ships (DC)

Vigil (4k, ao3 I tumblr) Injuries, cuddles and feelings. Joyfire+Dick, DamiTim. 

The wonderful everyday (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Flirting in an Ikea. Joyfire.

Down, down (2k, ao3 I tumblr) Prince visits tentacled sea witch. Superbat.

Would make me whole (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Angsty jerk-off session. JayRoyDick.

Promises (whispered, shouted) (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Injuries in the desert with not much hope. JonDami.

Won't you die tonight for love (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Vampire marriage surprisingly includes a third person. DamiJayTim.

You still look like a movie (2k, ao3 I tumblr) High school teachers pine. DickWally, side JayTim.

Spellbound (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Morning after marred by worry about a love potion. Trinity.

Through the night (we'll make it) (2k, ao3 I tumblr) H/C vignettes. Robinpile.

Gen (DC) 

rewind, fast forward, stop (3k, ao3 I tumblr)  Deaged Jason angst. Jason, batfamily.

In silence (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Jason’s telepathy doesn’t help him with Bruce. Jason, Bruce.

A soft place to land (2k, ao3) Trying to get Bruce to retire. Jason, Dick, batfamily.

touched your head gently (felt my heart melt) (7k, ao3) Movie-verse Floyd as a father through the years. Floyd, Zoe, squad. 

Will someone tell me what's going on tonight (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Dick’s OC boyfriend is an asshole, Wally offers comfort. Dick/OC (past), Bruce, Wally

At its core (1k, ao3 I tumblr) Considering fatherhood and marriage. Duke-centric, side JayRoyTim.

Hockey RPF

Sometimes I lie (4k, ao3) An FBI agent and his informant. SidGeno.

Finding Surety  (13k, ao3) Fake Dating. Marner/Matthews.  

Do you know (I still miss you) (6k, ao3) Getting back together with a little help from your friends. Eichel/McDavid. (Part two of ‘Read all about it’)

The name that history wrote (8k, ao3) Harry Potter AU, triwizard tournament. Eichel/McDavid.

the whole world's out of sync (9k, ao3) 13 going on 30 AU. SidGeno.

stellar nucleosynthesis (13k, ao3) Magical realism and truth spells. Danny/Claude.

But you were always on my mind (7k, ao3) Soulmarks complicated by dyslexia.

Feather (9k, ao3) Crimean war magical realism AU. SidGeno.

Other fandoms

starts with truth (MCU, 8k, ao3) If Steve talked to Tony and Pepper earlier about the winter soldier. SteveTonyPepper.

someday my prince will come (X-Men Movies, 7k, ao3) Erik deals with an enchanted forest. Cherik.

Nothing easy worth doing (Power Rangers, 2k, ao3) Superheroing while autistic - pros and cons. 

Shoot me down (Star Wars, 12k, ao3) Kier survives. Everything else still happens. LeiaKierHan.

Ask his mind (ask his heart) (Star Wars, 2k, ao3)  Anakin gets dosed with sex pollen. ObiKin. 

A Woman is Herself (Lady Sherlock, 7k, ao3) Joanna Watson character study. JoannaJohn. 

Will it burn forever (this light) (King Arthur: Legend of the Sword, 11k, ao3) Love spell adventures. ArthurTristan. (There’s a podcast!)

Someday soon (Arashi RPF, 1k, ao3) A glance into the future. Ohmiya. 

With fates to come (D.Gray-man, 1k, ao3) Tikki is Cassandra. TikkiAllen.

Dedication with @magoril​ (FBAWTFT, 2k, ao3) Theseus fixes things for his brother. TinaNewt. 

Shiny things (FBAWTFT, 2k, ao3) Percival gets a service Niffler. Gen. 

#elareine writes #long post

[charliejrogers]

Onward (Or, Disney’s Dungeons & Dragons)

Few things should be more exciting to filmgoers everywhere than the prospect of a new IP from powerhouse animation studio Pixar. Even when they don’t reach the highs of Toy Story, Finding Nemo, Monsters Inc., Inside Out, or Coco, they still produce near-classics like the money-printing, merchandise-monster Cars or the oft-overlooked, quiet, and visually stunning buddy-road-trip/adventure masterpiece The Good Dinosaur. Which is why it was so weird when Pixar released Onward earlier this year to little-to-no fanfare. For sure the coronavirus played a significant role in this as few audiences had the chance to see this in theaters, and then it was relegated solely to Disney+. But even still, the marketing didn’t do much for me – or seemingly others. I expected the same B-tier Pixar I got with recent outings like Finding Dory and Toy Story 4. (To be clear, even B-tier Pixar movies are very good). I went into this thinking it would be some so-so brothers-adventure with some magical element, with characters voiced by Chris Pratt and Tom Holland. Maybe I hesitated because I feared that Chris Pratt would simply be playing yet another iteration of his made-to-be-memed and sorta-now-grating loveable yet clueless bro that he perfected on Parks & Recreation and made even more macho and bro-y as part of the Guardians of the Galaxy films. I was right on both counts: Pratt plays the same character as he always does, and it is a movie about brothers and magic. But I was wrong in one regard: this movie is awesome.

Onward is set in the town of New Mushroomton, a city that looks like it could be Anytown, USA with a public high school, highways, and suburban housing developments. The difference is that New Mushroomton is populated by magical creatures (elves, centaurs, satyrs, trolls, etc.) instead of humans. However, the film’s prologue tells us that all the world’s magic has long been forgotten. Just as science and modern medicine have lessened the need and reliance on religion and faith for many in our society today, so too did the invention of the lightbulb in Onward eliminate the need for wizards to cast spells to cast out darkness. So now the centaurs drive cars instead frolic the fields, monsters have sold out and allowed their once-scary visages to sold on T-shirts and serve as mascots for restaurants, and once-sacred and magical fountains are being demolished to make way for new building developments. It’s not the most imaginative of Pixar settings, but it does effectively get across one of the film’s theme: not that we as Americans need to go back and embrace religion and faith, but that we should have a greater appreciation for sacred traditions of the past and recognize that newer is not always better. And, perhaps predictably, the world and the film it inhabits teach that the “magic” of life can never really be lost. It’s a message that is luckily never stressed too heavily and which forms a beautiful backdrop to the film’s main plot.

The plot, as mentioned, focuses on two elven brothers, and their single mother (their father died of an illness long, long ago – because this is a Disney movie and no one can be a hero without dead or missing parents!). The younger of the two, Ian (voiced by the MCU’s boyish Spider-Man, Tom Holland), has just turned sixteen and is as insecure, without confidence, and paralyzed by fear as any teenage boy who isn’t among the cool kids. The film’s so-so exposition portion largely focuses on showing us just how pathetic Ian is: in order to invite classmates to his house for a birthday, he has to write out talking points on his hands (predictably his hands become a bit sweaty). He more than anything wants to become the bold, confident man he hears his father once was, down to the point that he wears his father’s old sweatshirts and has a tear-jerking conversation with an old recording of his father’s voice.

On the other end of the spectrum is Ian’s older brother, Barley (Chris Pratt), who kinda looks like Chris Farley if Chris Farley played D&D in high school. Barley’s also a social outcast and do-nothing who his Mom describes on being on “the longest gap year” between high school and college. But embraces his lonerism and is proud of who he is – much to the embarrassment of his brother. He’s in love with his world’s magical past, devoting his life to the film’s version of Dungeons & Dragons card game, which is based on “actual history,” i.e. the spells from his game are the same spells that wizards used to use. The two brothers are not so much at odds at the film’s start, but they aren’t particularly close.

What brings them together, and what propels the film from its sleepy start, is a present for Ian from his long-dead father: a magic wand and a spell that will allow Ian and Barley to see their father again. There are a few caveats, however. Firstly, they will have to go on a quest to find some MacGuffin to complete the spell. Secondly, they will only have 24 hours to complete the task or else lose the opportunity for ever. Thirdly, only Ian the Non-Confident and the Magic-Naïve, is able to work the wand. With these ground rules laid out, the movie proper begins, and it is a wonderful and expertly crafted tale.

The film’s story progression takes as much of a cue from recent RPG-video games (to which, of course D&D is the ultimate precursor) as from the classic mold of the “Hero’s Journey” that adventure tales from Lord of the Rings to Star Wars have followed. Using Barley's knowledge of his D&D-like card game (like that episode of Spongebob where Mr. Krabs uses a board game’s map to find actual buried treasure), Ian and Barley will come up against a number of different of challenges on their journey, but can overcome them as Barley teaches Ian how to “unlock" more and more magical abilities. By the film’s end he is a full-blown wizard single-handedly fighting off a dragon. It’s a satisfying plot structure, with each visually impressive and exciting challenge not only strengthening Ian’s confidence, but also his relationship with his brother. In the classic buddy-road-trip film, there are as many challenges that will bring them together as threaten to tear them apart.

The beauty of this film is its ability to be three things at once: 1) a fantastical adventure to save their father 2) a buddy-comedy for the two brothers and 3) a coming of age tale for Ian. All three share the limelight equally and no part (after the exposition) drags a bit. By far its strongest element, though, is its exploration of brotherhood/fatherhood. Ian and Barley are a joy to watch work together on screen, and their love for one another is clear and palpable. Even Pratt’s typical obnoxiousness is appropriately scaled down and made entirely loveable. There was never a moment where I wasn’t rooting for the two. By the end, I would have been perfectly happy to provide the two with the predictably happy ending the movie seemingly sets itself up for (and which a film from a lesser studio would have provided). But instead Pixar completely subverted my expectations in a beautiful way, giving me the ending I didn’t know I wanted. It's an ending which in the long run is the best for its characters and their development.

In sum, I was quite pleasantly surprised by Onward. The movie knows exactly what it wants to be, and it does so effectively. It teaches that fathers, especially the best fathers, don’t have to be the men who begot us. As I said, it’s not the most creative or inventive outing from Pixar and it’s just below the A-tier Pixar classics, but it really is too much to expect a masterpiece every single time. That being said, I would be surprised if there’s a better or more emotionally affecting animated movie to come out this year.

***/ (Three and a half stars out of four)

#onward #chris pratt #tom holland #d&d

[galadrieljones]

A Funeral: Chapter 21 (Arthur Morgan x Mary Beth Gaskill)

Fandom: Red Dead Redemption 2 | Pairing: Arthur x Mary Beth | Rating: Mature

Content: Existential Angst, Friendship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Nature, Touch-Starved, Humor, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Angst, Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Fake Marriage, Epiphanies, Backstory, Banter, Deep Emotions, Sharing a Bed, Swimming, Arthur to the Rescue, Forests, Abduction, Angst, Heavy Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Sexual Content, Sexual Themes, Adult Content, Canon Divergence, Found Families, Brotherhood, Fatherhood, pregnancy, Recreational Drug Use, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol, Protective Arthur, BAMF Arthur, Shady Belle Chapter 

Summary: To help her process Sean’s death, Mary Beth asks Arthur to take her on a hunting trip. He agrees, and on their journey to the north, they find quietude and take comfort in their easy bond. They’ve been friends for a while now, but life, like the wilderness, is full of uncertainty and complications, and in their desperate search for meaning together, they endure a number of trials, some small, some big. All of this brings them closer to one another, as well as to their future—a complex mixture of romantic dreams and a practical escape from the outlaw life. To achieve this, they must effectively change the course of the stories written into their stars, and work together to make hope, rather than fear, their reality.

Credit to @bearly-tolerable for the banner!! Art is my own.

***For the rest of this story, you can visit the masterpost or AO3, both linked in the replies to this post and also at my blog.***

Chapter 21: The Gilded Cage, Pt. 1

The next day, Arthur and Mary Beth went into St. Denis in a coach driven by Charles with John riding shotgun. The idea was for them to be seen at the saloon the night before the party, to try and calcify the illusion, give it layers, create witnesses. If the town was as beholden to Angelo Bronté as the gang had been led to believe, then surely this would be no exception. Arthur was wary, but he was playing along, too, mostly at Hosea’s reassurance. When Arthur told him about Dutch’s one-month request, Hosea had sighed and thought on it for a while. He said he was torn. He became quietly emotional at the prospect of being able to attend the wedding, but he was concerned. He was concerned about Mary Beth, and whether she was going to get pregnant. He said Shady Belle was no place for a baby or a pregnant woman. He said the stakes are high for pregnant women. If something goes wrong, there’s little any ordinary person can do. They need a doctor. He became so worried, in fact, as Arthur was talking to him on the porch of Shady Belle, that he smoked profusely, coughing between each drag, and Arthur began to wonder if something bad had happened to Hosea, before Arthur even knew him. If, like Arthur, he’d lost somebody, somebody small.

“Well, we know a doctor,” said Arthur, lighting his own cigarette.

“You do?” said Hosea.

Arthur nodded. “We met one in Emerald Station. He and his wife own a bed and breakfast up there. They took us in a couple times while we was gone.”

“What does he know about delivering babies?”

“His pa used to deliver babies for slaves escaping up to Canada,” he said. “In Wisconsin, during the Civil War. But Hosea, Mary Beth ain’t pregnant—not yet, as far as we know.”

“That doesn’t matter,” he said, adjusting his collar, flicking his cigarette. “It’s on the table. You need to plan for these things, Arthur.”

“I know.” Arthur took his hat off, ran a hand through his hair. It was hot that day. He thought about Deer Cottage, how it had meant something. He tried to assuage Hosea with an agreeable tone. “I know.”

That night, at the saloon in St. Denis, the plan was for Arthur to play a little cards with Mary Beth acting as his intelligent Girl Friday, making just enough noise to be seen, but nothing too flashy. Charles and John stayed near, stoic and dressed as security features. Charles was to sharpen his knife and look intimidating while John was to do nothing but smoke and speak only when spoken to, keeping an eye on Arthur and Mary Beth from the bar. Arthur dressed as he normally would that night, but Mary Beth was outfitted at the tailor, and with a small bounty provided by Dutch himself, purchased two dresses: one of more casual frills in a lavender pink for the night at the saloon, and then a ballgown for the party—far more elegant—dusty blue in color with lace sleeves and a collar, and a fabulous, feathered hat to match. She was delighted by the opportunity to wear such pretty things, but she told Arthur as they entered the saloon that night that she also felt a fraud and sort of like a bird on stilts.

“Everybody’s looking,” she said when they crossed the floor to the bar. The room was lively, filled with smoke and piano, and it was mostly men, but there were women here and there, and it was unclear how many of them were just there to mingle, and how many were actually saloon girls. They were not all paired with men.

“Just pretend they’re looking at me,” said Arthur, nodding at a few of the men at the poker tables. “That should help.”

“Well, the women are looking at you,” said Mary Beth. “Looking like they might devour you whole.”

“I highly doubt that, Miss Gaskill.”

“Shh,” she said, smiling, pulling him down so she could whisper in his ear, using a full-on fake Texas twang. “It’s Mrs. Kilgore, Tacitus.”

Arthur laughed. He looked around. People were staring. Mary Beth looked pretty, and she stood out, even in this crowd. That, he could not deny. “You know, I, too, am starting to feel like a bird on stilts,” he said. “Let’s talk to the bartender here for a minute, and then we’ll find ourselves a seat.”

“Sounds good.”

After a touch of small talk, Arthur ordered a bottle of chilled rosé with two flutes as well as a hefty glass of Kentucky Bourbon for himself. They cozied into a booth at the front of the saloon, and Arthur poured the rosé, and they touched glasses. “To Sean,” said Mary Beth. It had become a tradition between them. Despite his big-mouthed hubris in life, it was the sadness of his passing that had brought Arthur and Mary Beth together. They had not forgotten the funeral to the north.

“When are you gonna hit the tables?” said Mary Beth. “You gonna cheat the cards or play fair?”

Arthur gave her a look. “I ain’t gonna cheat cards with you here, Mary Beth.”

“Why not?”

“Because it ain’t gentlemanly to cheat cards in front of a lady.”

She smiled.

They sat and drank and talked for a while. Mary Beth had an idea for a story of which an old veteran, not unlike Hamish Sinclair, was the star. Arthur liked listening to her talk about her creative brain and all of its weird inner workings and ideas. He was no storyteller but he felt a natural inclination toward language and always had. He was a tough cookie and over many years had grown accustomed to the idea that his inner life was worthy only of hiding. But two weeks of loving Mary Beth made him a little more sure of himself in that his depths were meaningful. He was not weaker for them, or at least they did not change who he was. It was freeing and made him periodically dizzy while participating in their conversations. She expected him to be smart, and she expected him to think deeply. This was the difference between Mary Beth and so many of the other people in his life—including certain of  the women who had once claimed to love him. Mostly this meant Mary, but she was so far out of his heart by now, he could hardly remember their troubled times as well as their times of bliss.

Arthur didn’t tell Mary Beth about Hosea and his state of mind from earlier that day at Shady Belle. He didn’t want to pressure or worry her. Also, his tendency was not to go counting on things that were still ideas and preferred concrete proof before he made his plans and decisions. He would not make any decisions about Mary Beth getting pregnant until Mary Beth was pregnant. Until then, they were just moving along. Until then, it was just them two, and he felt safe with that because he knew he could talk to her about anything.

After some time, Arthur was getting ready to go see about the poker game across the room. But a group of young men had entered the bar a little while before, well-dressed, sort of loud, and now one of them was approaching he and Mary Beth at their booth. He was wearing a derby hat and an annoying tweed jacket, and he was looking like a schmuck on vacation from classes at the university. He was also drunk, and slack-jawed, the front of his pale ascot soiled with what appeared to be whiskey or beer. The moment he sat down across from them, Arthur raised his eyebrows and picked up his glass and looked at Mary Beth. She was looking at him, too, in confusion.

“You know this guy?” she whispered.

“No,” said Arthur. "Do you?"

“No. Do you think he’s lost?”

Arthur sighed, set down his glass, and looked at the college boy. Then, he knocked on the table, loudly, three times. “Hey,” he said. Then he snapped his fingers in the young man’s face. “Hey.”

He grunted.

Arthur continued. “May we help you with something, boy? Because if not, I kindly suggest you move on.”

“How much?” he said finally. He was speaking to Mary Beth and ignoring Arthur, which was unexpected. It seemed dangerous, but Arthur did not interject at first. The young man was sort of swaying from side to side. He had hollow, glazed eyes.

“Excuse me?” said Mary Beth.

“How much is he paying you?” said the young man.

“Paying me?”

“I’ll triple it.” He reached into his pocket, started counting through the bills in his leather wallet. “You’re the prettiest dove I ever seen.”

Mary Beth got pissed off, once she realized what he was talking about. “I ain’t no dove,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “And even if I was, I’d be discerning. I wouldn’t touch the likes of you. Drunken college boys don’t really blow the wind up my skirts if you know what I mean.”

The young man got rowdy then. He smacked his hand down on the table. “How much,” he said, louder this time.

That started something.

Arthur reached across the table, with alarming speed. He garroted the young man with one hand, holding him to the booth. The young man made a loud, guttural noise, and his eyes got big as melons. “What the—”

Arthur studied him, raising his chin a little. Then he lowered his voice, collected, and spoke. “You wanna raise your voice to a woman?” he said, filled with meanness.

The young man, his eyes bugging, shook his head, though there was little room for movement. "No—" he managed.

“Good,” said Arthur, real smooth. “That’s good. Because if you do, know you'll pave your own path to eternal damnation, boy. But I promise, if you raise your voice to mine again, then I will pave that path for you. Understand?”

The young man nodded again. Arthur held him there for a moment longer, to make it really count. Then he let him go and casually straightened and dusted off his ascot as if nothing had happened. The young man gaped, confused, looked at Arthur and apologized.

“Don’t apologize to me,” said Arthur, sipping his whiskey. “Apologize to the lady.”

The young man gulped, capitulated. “Sorry, ma’am,” he said. “I didn’t mean nothing by it.”

“You’re forgiven,” said Mary Beth.

Then he rushed out of the booth, and quickly out of the saloon. Standing by were John and Charles, with keen eyes. Arthur put them at ease with a single two-finger salute. It then took him a minute to compose himself. He took another drink of his whiskey and closed his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he said to Mary Beth, after a long, deep breath. “I just don’t appreciate men with bad manners. Makes my damn blood boil.”

“It’s okay,” said Mary Beth. She was holding his hand under the table now. “He deserved it, and thank you, by the way. I mean, I know you never would’ve actually killed him.”

Arthur laughed to himself. He reached for the bottle of rosé to top off Mary Beth’s glass. “Probably not,” he said.

After that, the night went quickly. Arthur won four hands of poker with Mary Beth standing by his side, lighting his cigars and fanning herself demurely with a Japanese-style fan she brought herself. John had secured them a couple rooms upstairs and before they tripped off to bed, Mary Beth went to the bar to buy a bath.

“It’s been a long time since I bathed in anything but a river,” she said to Arthur as they went upstairs. He was chewing a toothpick. “You wanna come?”

Arthur smiled. In truth, he preferred Mary Beth bathing in the river. He would have her any way, but straight from nature—that was what he liked best. When her curls got long and straight and wet and they went all the way down her back, and the world smelled clean and big and cold and free. He longed to return. The swamps had begun to stifle him once more and the city was but another trap in elaborate disguise. He removed the toothpick from his mouth and placed it behind his ear. Even still, he would have her any way. “Yes, ma’am,” he said.

The bathwater was hot and that was one thing that you forget. The water is warm, and the soap is slippery. Mary Beth scrubbed the soap into Arthur’s hair and molded it so that it was shaped like a spike. Then she rinsed it, and it fell flat to his face and made him smile. He scrubbed her hair, too, and it felt good on her scalp. Once they were clean and the water was still warm but beginning to cool, Mary Beth sat facing him, holding his hand and tracing the hard parts and the creases with her fingers. Once in Kansas City she had met a woman at a saloon who knew palmistry. For fifteen cents, she read Mary Beth’s palm and for another fifteen cents, she taught Mary Beth some of the meanings of the lines and the shapes of the hand. Arthur’s hands were big and square—of the earth, if she wasn’t mistaken, reliable and practical in the way they manipulated the world. His heart line was deep and solid, suggesting that he cared intensely for the people in his life, but there were breaks here and there. It wasn’t easy, she thought. There had been a lot of adjustment and a lot of pain. His lifeline was short and very deep. He traveled alone. He had seen and experienced many things, but almost always in a state of independence and solitude. Sometimes, she thought, he seemed to prefer it that way. But not always.

This was all she could could remember. She said nothing of it, closed his fingers into a fist and let his hand drop back into the soapy water. He was very relaxed, leaning back with his head on the rim of the tub, eyes closed. In this moment, she felt as if she were looking in on some private moment of Arthur's. Their love was new, and while they had fallen hard into a regular pattern of intimacy, she knew that a part of him would always be separate from her. Not in a bad way, just in a real way. She could not share his body, or his mind. That was just a complex strangeness of loving someone this much. No matter how much she wanted to climb inside of him and live there, she could not. She sighed. Her sigh must have sounded like something—something loaded. He opened his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he said, scrubbing one of his hands into her hair.

She shrugged. “I miss the river,” she said.

This made him laugh. He looked at her, real hard. “Me, too,” he said. Then he sat up, disturbing the water. Some of it splashed out of the tub and onto the floor. He became serious. “You sure you wanna do this?” he said. "The party?"

She got wistful. She was flushed in her cheeks and on her chest. She could feel it. She had fair skin that could get a little splotchy with the heat. “Yes,” she said, smiling big, real positive, just like she was wont to do.

Meanwhile, John and Charles stayed down at the bar a little while longer. Once the poker game ended, the tables began to clear out, and the bartender dimmed the lights, and the overall mood of the place changed. It was no longer lively and awake and instead became blue and filled with mystery. The boys each ordered a big glass of bourbon like a nightcap and sat across from one another at a booth in the corner, listening to the smoky sounds of the piano. They sat in comfortable silence for most of ten minutes, drinking and watching the people go in and out of the saloon double doors. Then, at some point, Charles cleared his throat and began to speak.

“I haven’t been here that long,” he said, turning the heavy glass slowly between his hands.

"And?" said John.

"And," said Charles. “I still think I know Arthur.”

“He’s an open book when he wants to be,” said John, watching the bartender. He was drying a glass with a long, linen towel.

“I get that,” said Charles. “But I just—I get the sense that he hasn’t been happy for a long time. I've been meaning to talk to him about it, but it's been a lot going on, for everyone.”

John nodded. He took a long drink and looked down at the scars in his knuckles. “He’s had some fucked up shit happen to him,” he said. “I mean, we all have, but losing a kid? I don’t know. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to Jack.”

“Arthur had a kid?” said Charles.

“Yeah,” said John. “He died, maybe nine years ago? Murdered. Him and his mama. He should be thirteen now, on his way to becoming a man. Instead—” John trailed off. He shook his head.

“Jesus,” said Charles.

“I know,” said John, taking a drink. “But Arthur. He just wears it, you know? He don’t complain. I don’t know how he found the will to get past it, but he did.”

Charles finished his glass in one long swallow. He set it down, his eyes watery. “I’m happy for him,” he said. "And her."

“Me, too,” said John.

“He’s like a brother to you, right?” said Charles.

John nodded again, taking a drink. “I guess so.”

Charles sighed. He took out a pack of cigarettes. He lit one, and then he said the pack and the matchbook on the table and slid it across the John. John took one, lit it, and they smoked. Somewhere in the room, a drunkard was yelling at a woman. The bartender slapped him across the face and a large man in a black vest came and threw him out.

“I had a girl once,” said Charles after a little while. He had smoked the cigarette down in almost no time flat. He put it out in the ash tray on the table.

“What was her name?” said John.

“May,” said Charles.

“That’s a nice name.”

“Yeah,” said Charles. “She was a nice girl. An artist. She used to mold flowers and animals out of clay. We met in Boulder, maybe a year before I met Dutch.”

“What happened?” said John.

“A fever,” said Charles. That was all he said. He then removed one more cigarette from the pack and set it on the table.

John just stared at him. It was so sad. “I’m real sorry, Charles,” he said. “That’s no good.”

“You’re lucky,” said Charles. He took out his knife.

“What do you mean?”

“Abigail,” he said. He split the cigarette open with the tip of the knife. He flattened it and removed some of the tobacco, sprinkling it to the floor. “Don’t blow that, man.” He then took a little bag of dried marijuana plant out his front pocket. He broke apart one of the buds and put the plant inside the guts of the cigarette with the tobacco. Then, he closed up the cigarette and sealed it with his tongue. “You want one?”

John finished his whiskey. He set down his glass, and he slid it to the wall. “Sure,” he said. Then he stared at the cigarette.

John hadn’t smoked marijuana since he and Arthur had scored a bagful off a belligerent bull rider in Kansas City, five years before. In fact, it had been the same year Dutch had brought home Mary Beth and the year that Abigail would get pregnant. It was also the year before John would leave the gang. When he left, he went to Salt Lake City and joined a pack of moonshiners for a couple months. When that didn’t pan out, he stole a wagon off them, bought a shack in the hills near Logan and drank himself to a right stupor. He felt bad about everything. He felt bad about Abigail, about the baby, about Arthur. He couldn’t shake it, so he drank. At some point, he decided he had to go back, but it was too late, and Dutch and the boys were long gone. He spent the next five months searching for them. It was harder than he’d realized. He never told no one that was how long it took. He found them, eventually, in Arizona, when word hit that a couple of blots-on-the-town had robbed a bank in Flagstaff. The pictures on the wall in the Sheriff’s Station were of Arthur, Bill, and Karen. A goddam fuckin trio if he ever saw one. He almost cried, he was so relieved. He tracked them to the heels of Oklahoma not two weeks past. When he showed up to camp, it was the middle of the night, but Arthur being Arthur, was out chopping wood all by himself. When he saw John, he came right over, but he would not speak. He beat the living shit out of him instead. John had no recourse. He tried to fight back at first, but after a while it was clear that Arthur was his superior in strength and also in pure, unmitigated rage. John came out of it with a fucked up face and his arm in a sling. They didn’t speak at all for weeks.

He got high with Charles and then together, the two of them went for a walk along the city streets, looking at all the painted doves there and how they posed, trapped tightly in their gilded cage of St. Denis.

#red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #arthur morgan #rdr2 fanfic #mary beth gaskill #mary-beth gaskill #arthur x mary beth #arthur morgan x mary beth gaskill #hosea matthews #charles smith #john marston #a funeral

[thunderlullabies]

Ignorance of Future Cosmos

Subject Object,

Gravity lost,

Eyes compounded,

Love is on hold

•••••

Arms of feels

Those stories I've read with repeat,

Those movies I've watched without sleep,

Those men I've loved without hate and self,

Someday soon I’ll reveal what it's like to be felt,

These jokes I've learnt from devils of catastrophie,

These tears I've cried of abuse of blasphemy,

These teeth I've collected from souls, that had been lost,

At least they found home in my heart of faults,

This miracle of mine, who reminded me the way of self-worth,

This wonder of mine, who sang to me songs of love to remember, who before I was,

This man of mine, who kissed me gently, when I was asleep,

Tonight I'll wake up in his soft arms of feels

•••••

Love is on hold

So hateful pupils drown in blue seas,

I feel I have no air left in my golden iris,

They say, there's something in my gentle eyes,

Oh no, it's just pure death of evil fire,

A new day is meant for new achievements,

But my modern man is broken in inhumanity,

That smile, that saves me every day,

Oh, gods, why did you make it clear I love his lips? Forgive me,

Nothing I can do to reach to machines,

So I get up and switch time buttons of aether,

No, I do sense his presence around my eyelids,

It's just my strife with present matter makes my desicions clear

•••••

Seemingly free

It's interesting how people's world works,

How judgemental and blind their faith can be,

What if the book of wars might be unscrupulously stolen,

And the reader won't notice its absence on the wooden shelf,

It’s strange how strangers walk by in our lives with eyes,

Full of confusion about friendship and brotherhood,

But never asking how to find those libraries,

That seemingly had been burnt in the age of fatherhood,

It's not funny to drink ashed water of the crying river,

When one is always late for the train for the West,

Those american tears write a golden poem of flickering freedom,

My lips taste them and I feel at last important and messed

•••••

Queue of planets turn round and round,

There's no turn to see the sunrise,

I wish I could slow down the time,

Maybe that's how I could see eyes of my life,

Valley of the stars spreads some flowers,

That we can sleep on warmly,

For the war is coming somewhere far away,

I hope we just some fireworks in wormholes,

I feel tired to see me overworked,

You fell tired to see me hopelessly fall,

Take me hand and show me the way out of this,

To the path where it leads to you, my abyss

•••••

Jealousy filament

My blazing fingers plot your pale skin,

Touching those thoughts you don't share anyone with,

Your lion back delivers me from evil,

While you kiss me with your snowy eyes,

I've never felt so desired by just being looked at,

Is it the price to be a bride of eternal seven?

My ever-changing body shares a womb of love with you,

I want to give my everything to you, as long as you breathe my heart,

Some things never change in this life full of poker cards,

Just be the one to loose me at once,

I’ll be sensing those fragile timelines by just being fathomed,

Is it the only path I have been given at the end of the crossroads?

My blind conscience never appreciated your dreams about the better future of mine,

I guess the sun had another sigil of war to go on crusade with,

Sounds of nature imitate my songs of catching your solar plexus,

Never underestimate the power of desire fetus,

Don't play too hard with the toys of your reveries,

Hexes of gravity will laugh back at you,

I see no black loneliness anymore,

Am I at last happy or is it just an illusion of truth?

[imaginesfordayss]

Happy Birthday, Magnus.

Summary: It’s Magnus’ birthday, and nothing could be more perfect than spending the day with his sons and his husband. 

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2.4k

Read here on AO3

The sounds of pitter pattering feet and hushed giggling is what Magnus woke up to on his birthday. He rolled over onto his back and rubbed his eyes groggily. Looking over at the alarm clock on his nightstand he was loathe to see it was still much to early to be awake, not even seven yet. Groaning he snuggled back into his blankets and was trying to doze back off when a quiet knock came from the door.

“Papa.” Someone whispered loudly.

Magnus looked over at the door so see his blue haired and blue skinned little boy peeking in through the doorway. He had something white smeared on his cheek and some lightly dusting his hair.

“Max.” Magnus murmured fondly, “Come here blueberry.”

Max grinned and scurried over to the bed, climbing in under the covers. Sleepily, Magnus pulled him close so the blue four year old was laying on his chest.

“Happy Birthday.” He said, pressing a wet kiss on Magnus’ nose.

Magnus scrunched up his face playfully before blowing a raspberry on his cheek, making the little boy squeal, “Thank you blueberry.”

“What are you doing up?” Magnus asked, “And what is in your hair?”

“We made pancakes,” Max said, squirming to get more comfortable, “Dad said we’re gonna have breakfast in bed for your birthday.”

Magnus smiled warmly at the antics of his husband, “Breakfast in bed sounds lovely.”

Magnus sat up, pulling Max into his lap just in time for the bedroom door to push all the way open. Alec and Rafael walked in, each carrying a part of their breakfast feast. Alec held a tray that was plated with pancakes and scrambled eggs and had two glasses of orange juice, while Rafael carried his favorite Star Wars cups and Max’s sippy cup.

“Happy Birthday Papa!” Rafael said happily.

“Thank you Rafe.” Magnus replied.

“I wanna help.” Max said, trying to get up. Magnus held onto him tightly, already knowing he would probably create a mess if he tried.

“You did help baby,” Alec said, “You woke up Papa, just like I asked.”

“Here, take your cup Max.” Rafael said, offering him the New York Giants sippy cup. Max didn’t even like the team nor had he ever even watched a game, but had a weird love for the design and colors. He took the cup happily, pleased he could help in some way.

Alec set down the tray carefully after sitting down next to Magnus. The Shadowhunter set down a towel and lifted Rafe up and deposited him in the middle of the two men, next to Max. Alec didn’t even bother trying to keep the boys from making a mess, especially Max who could be eating something completely contained and mess free and would still manage to get it everywhere. Alec secured a bib around the four year old’s neck, fending off comments of how he was too big for bibs and finally served the kids.

“Papa takes the first bite.” Alec reminded the boys as he an Magnus spooned eggs onto their plates.

“Cause the birthday boy takes the first bite,” Rafael piped up, “Right Dad?”

“That’s right buddy.”

Everyone was finally served, and the boys bounced eagerly as they waited for Magnus. The older warlock took his time deciding if he wanted pancakes or a bite of his cut fruit or his eggs until the boys started complaining. Magnus laughed and cut his pancakes, taking a dramatically huge bite.

“Delicious.” He said with his mouth full.

The boys dug in, putting the towel beneath them to good use. Magnus was pleased to note that his orange juice had a healthy dose of champagne added and he grinned at Alec, not surprised that his husband knew him so well.

Breakfast was devoured and Max had somehow gotten syrup in his hair.

“Alright blueberry, time for a bath.” Alec said, picking up the sticky boy.

“Can we take a shower?” Max asked, kicking his legs as Alec lifted him off the bed.

“You don’t want to play with your bath toys?”

“No I want a shower.”

Alec shrugged and disappeared into the bathroom, yelling at Magnus to leave the dishes in the sink. The warlock got up and started cleaning up their meal.

“Think you can get the cups Rafe?” Magnus said, piling the plates on the tray.

Rafe nodded and the two of them took the dishes into the kitchen, dropping them in the sink. Despite what Alec said, Magnus started rinsing and loading the dishes while Rafael hopped onto the counter.

“What do you wanna do for your birthday, Papa.” Rafael asked.

“I just want to spend all day with you and your brother.” Magnus said honestly, “Do you want to go the park? Or maybe we’ll go to the zoo.”

When Magnus and Alec had first brought Max home, they’d agreed it would be best for Magnus to stay home with him full time. Not only out of convenience, since Alec was head of the Institute, but Max was a baby warlock and it was safer for everyone if another warlock stayed with him. Alec would stay home with him when Magnus had clients or other downworld business, and after he got the hang of his son sometimes making things disappear or float or explode he would even bring him to the institute. When they adopted Rafael he was still so skittish and afraid of the Shadow world, and since Magnus was already staying home with Max, the two parents elected to keep Rafael home as well. In any case, Magnus liked being with his kids. He’d been alive for centuries and he’d seen so many things and met so many people, but nothing compared to the days he would spend teaching Rafael history or playing legos with Max. Magnus joked that fatherhood made him boring and domestic, but Alec always joked that parties with a four year old and a nine year old were plenty wild.

A sudden squeal echoed through the loft and Magnus looked up to see a tiny blue body streaking through the living room. Alec came from the bedroom, soap still in his hair and a towel wrapped around his waist. Magnus took one look at him and burst out laughing.

“Having a good shower my dear.” He said between giggles.

Alec rolled his eyes good naturedly, “Please get your son before he treats Manhattan to a blue eye full.”

“Oh so he’s my son when he’s pursuing a career in streaking.” Magnus said jokingly, trailing after the boy.

“Yes.” Alec said dryly and turned to continue his shower.

Magnus found Max hiding in the hall closet, giggling wildy behind the coats.

“Where o where has my little boy blue gone.” Magnus said pushing the coats aside, “We’re gonna miss him when we go to the park.”

Max popped out in all his naked glory, “Right here!”

“There he is.” Magnus said, scooping the boy up, “Good thing too. Who would help me make the perfect snowman.”

“Rafael makes good snowman.” Max pointed out.

“That’s true.”

He wrestled the toddler into pants and a sweater before letting him lose on the loft. Magnus tried to go back to cleaning the kitchen but was shooed out by Alec, so he helped Rafael get dressed and then got ready himself. He threw on his favorite jeans, the ones frayed at the bottoms, and a black, gold flecked button up. He did minimal makeup with gold highlight on his cheeks and some dusted in his hair. Magnus was just finishing up, trying to decide which boots he should wear when Alec walked in.

“Have I told you ‘happy birthday’ yet,” He asked, coming up behind Magnus and wrapping his arms around him.

“You have not.” Magnus said, “But I’ll forgive you since the sight of you in a towel was all I wanted today.”

Alec laughed, kissing Magnus’ shoulder, “Happy Birthday, Magnus.”

Magnus turned and pulled him into a proper kiss. Alec wrapped his arms around his waist, drawing him close. For a moment, they didn’t have a care in the world-- no institute to get to, no children who needed supervision-- just them and the love between them.

“Papa, can you help me with the juice. I spilled it on the counter.”

Alec pulled away from the kiss, breathing only a bit harder. He nosed Magnus’ cheek before pulling away completely.

“You’re Papa.” He said, escaping into their closet.

“Traitor.” Magnus grumbled before turning to a guilty looking Rafael, “It’s okay Rafe, we’ll clean it up.”

“I’m sorry”, The nine year old said, “It was really heavy.”

Magnus ruffled his brown hair, “It’s okay mi amor.”

It was nine by the time the Lightwood-Bane household was ready for the day. Alec kissed his boys goodbye, wishing them a good day, and left to catch the subway to the Institute. Magnus bundled the boys up, squeezing hats and gloves onto the squirmy children and then they were off to Central Park.

Magnus loved Christmas, and having a birthday that was in the heart of the Christmas season was the best for him. He loved the lights and the snow and the cheer and, now that he had kids, he loved going all out on decorations and gifts. He’d had their Christmas tree up since the day after Thanksgiving and was able to preserve with his magic so it smelled just as fresh as the day they picked it out.

Central Park was beautiful as well, the snow creating the perfect Christmas scene. Magnus and the boys found an undisturbed spot and set about making snowman and snow angels. Rafael was a perfectionist and spent nearly an hour creating his snowman masterpiece, with a red scarf and top hat Magnus portaled in from their loft. Max’s snowman was more or less a snow lump and was about the same height as him since he wasn't able to pile snow much higher and Max had insisted on Magnus changing the snow color so it was blue like him. Afterwards Magnus took them to a cafe nearby for hot chocolate and then for a trip to the zoo. Alec wouldn’t be finished until later that night and there was no use sitting at home cooper up when New York had endless activities at their disposal.

“Papa,” Rafael said, tugging on Magnus’ coat sleeve, “Look, that monkey has a Christmas tree.”

Magnus followed his gaze and sure enough they had set up a little Christmas tree in the habitat, “He does! That’s so cute.”

“Can we get a monkey?” Max asked, leaning against the bars.

“I think you two are the only monkey’s Dad and I can handle.”

“I could take care of it.” Rafael said, “I’m real good with the Chairman. Dad taught me how to clean out the litter box and everything.”

“I don’t know,” Magnus said, and looked down to receive the full force of the boys’ puppy dog eyes, “Maybe for Christmas.” He offered placatingly.

That satisfied them and they moved onto the next exhibit, where Max startled everyone with the force of his Elephant calls.

Noon came and he got the boys hot dogs from the Zoo food stand and then portalled them home. While the boys played in their room, Magnus caught up on things around the house. He hadn’t been home the past week as he was visiting Europe to work with the High Warlock in Spain and Portugal. Max and Rafael spent most of it with Alec or Isabelle at the institute and at night, if Alec had demons to hunt, Catarina would stop by.

By two, Max was cranky so Magnus put on Polar Express in the living room and sat with him until he fell asleep. Magnus had glamoured him when they went outside, but in the comforts of their home he proudly blue. The buds of horns were just starting to sprout on his forehead and Magnus traced them softly.

Rafael strolled in, his hands covered in marker, “Can we watch Rudolph?” He asked, climbing onto the couch to snuggle into Magnus’ other side.

“Sure baby.” Magnus grabbed the remote and flicked over to the DVR and turned on the old program. He’d pre recorded every Christmas movie he could think of specifically so the boy’s could watch them. Rafael’s favorite was Rudolph and Charlie Brown while Max’s was How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

Magnus draped his other arm around Rafael, pulling the boy close. He brushed the boy’s brown hair out his face, mentally taking a note that he needed a haircut. Rafael cuddled sleepily into Magnus’ side.

This was how Magnus wanted to spend his birthday every year. Sandwiched between his two boys, watching Christmas movies. The only thing that could make this better was his Alexander.

Speak of the devil, Magnus looked up upon hearing the locks turning over and watched happily as his husband cleared the door. Rafael’s head popped up at the door closing.

“Dad!” He said, scrambling off Magnus lap to the man.

Alec smiled and swung the boy into his arms, “Hi Rafe.”

“You’re home early.” Magnus noted softly, rubbing Max’s back soothingly so he wouldn’t wake up.

Alec walked around to the couch and noticed the sleeping toddler, “Slow day.” He said softly, sitting on the couch, “Guess all the demons are hiding from the cold.”

Alec leaned over, kissing Magnus briefly before leaning down to kiss Max’s forehead. He set Rafael in his lap, “We watching Rudolph?”

“Mmhm.” Rafael said, making himself comfortable, “Do you want to start it over? So you can watch from the beginning?”

Alec smiled, “No, but thank you Rafe.”

The family settled in for the movie, Magnus talking along with some of the parts. Eventually, Rafael fell asleep as well, slumped onto Alec shoulder. If Magnus had his phone he would have taken a picture, they were so cute.

“Did you guys have a good day.” Alec asked softly, shifting the sleeping boy.

“Yeah we had a fun morning,” Magnus said, “I took them to the park and they made snowman. Then we went to the zoo. I told them I would consider giving them a monkey for Christmas.”

Alec’s eyes widened, “No. We are not getting them a monkey.”

Magnus laughed quietly, his body shaking with laughter, “It’d be fun. Rafael said he would take good care of them.”

“Sure, Magnus.” Alec said wryly.

Magnus grinned, bumping his shoulder with his, “Maybe monkey toys. Stuffed animals.”

Alec didn’t respond, but Magnus saw a smile pull at his lips. The shadowhunter moved his hand over, twining his fingers with Magnus’. He brought their hands up and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand.

“Happy Birthday Magnus.”

#Magnus Bane #Alec Lightwood #rafael lightwood-bane #Max Lightwood-Bane #lightwood-bane family #oneshot #one shot #shadowhunters #tmi #the mortal instruments #malec

[aion-rsa]

Wonder Woman 1984: Ending Explained

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This article contains major Wonder Woman 1984 spoilers for the ending of the film. We have a spoiler free review here.

Wonder Woman 1984 fits a lot of story into its 2.5 hour runtime, especially in its action-packed third act as Diana faces off against not one, but two villains: Cheetah and Maxwell Lord. While audiences have been encouraged to think of the DC blockbuster as a relative standalone, there’s much about the sequel that harkens back to the first film (Steve Trevor, most of all) and there’s much about the movie that hints at what’s to come for our eponymous hero.

If you have some burning questions coming out of Wonder Woman 1984, you’re not alone. What happens at the end of the superhero sequel? What might it mean for the future of the franchise? And which characters might be back for future installments?

We have those answers and more ahead…

Will Steve Trevor Be Back?

Coming into Wonder Woman 1984, one of the central plot mysteries was: how the hell is Chris Pine back as Steve Trevor? We now know the answer: After Diana wishes on the Dreamstone for her dead beau’s return, Steve’s spirit or soul or something is resurrected in the body of a local engineer played by Kristoffer Polaha, credited only as “Handsome Man.” While the rest of the world sees the body of “Handsome Man” when they look at the Steve-possessed body, Diana only sees Steve.

Unfortunately for Steve, Diana must renounce her wish to save the world, sending Steve back from the apparently nice place from whence he came. The movie ends with Steve once again dead, probably never to return. As he tells Diana in his final scene, “I’m already gone.” 

But will he be back? It doesn’t seem likely. Wonder Woman 1984 goes out of its ways to maintain the weight of death in its world, creating a very specific scenario in which Steve and Diana can be temporarily reunited. If Wonder Woman 3 were to bring Steve back again, it would be even harder to maintain the stakes and logic of the world and, honestly, Patty Jenkins is too good of a filmmaker to make a mistake like that.

Sorry, Steve fans. Chris Pine has to go play Dungeons & Dragons now.

Wonder Woman Can Fly Now

In her heartbreak over losing Steve (again), Diana runs. Then, she flies. Using what Steve taught her about how he understands flight (“It’s so easy, really. It’s wind and air, learning how to ride it, how to catch it,”) she uses her Lasso to snag the tail of a plane that pulls her far and fast up into the sky. She spreads her arms, and catches the wind. She uses her Lasso to snag clouds and the occasional lightning bolt to propel her forward, and then she soars.

New power: unlocked.

It’s Diana’s accomplishment, but it’s also a symbol of how much Steve has affected her life. In the beginning of the movie, we see how much Diana still thinks about Steve. She tells Barbara that she still sees him sometimes, in the sky. Later, she tells Steve that she’s always thought of flight as his gift. In this way, flight becomes Steve’s parting gift to Diana. Before, she would look up to the sky and think of Steve as a plane flew overhead. Now, she gets to be the one in the sky, thinking of Steve as she does the thing he so loved.

What is the comic book precedent for this? In her original comic book incarnation, Diana couldn’t fly, but Wonder Woman has never been a character to accept limitations. During the Silver Age of Comics, Diana learned how to glide using the air currents, but it wasn’t until after the Crisis on Infinite Earths reboot that Diana full-on flew. In her post-Crisis origin story by George Perez, Diana was gifted the ability to fly from Hermes. In Wonder Woman 1984, it’s a skill she learns in the World of Men.

Patty Jenkins told Den of Geek and other outlets during a recent press junket: “I love that she learns how to fly in this emotional way, and that that metaphor stands for something for all of us, which is you have to let go and embrace the truth and things for what they are to understand that it’s just wind and air.” 

Maxwell Lord Uses a Satellite to Grant the World’s Wishes

While Diana is going on an emotional journey about Steve, Max Lord is continuing his quest for MORE—more wishes, more power, more everything. After visiting the Oval Office, he has gained access to the government’s Atmospheric Satellite Defense program (which POTUS tells us uses Star Wars technology). Using Marine One (with Barbara in tow), Lord travels to the satellite facility where he is able to simultaneously hijack every broadcast signal around the world to deliver his message: make a wish, and I will grant it.

The logic here is all a bit hand wave-y. The Dreamstone rules require that people be touching the Stone, in this case Lord, when they make their wish. Screenwriters Patty Jenkins, Geoff Johns, and David Callaham seem to be making a statement about mass media with this plot point (which isn’t so surprising, given their professions): that media has the power to “touch” people.

Regardless of the logic, people around the world start wishing, not understanding the power of their words. A Chinese woman working in a restaurant wishes to be famous, and is immediately recognized through the window. An Irish man wishes that his partner would drop dead, and she does, only moments after she wishes that all of the Irish people in the U.K. would be sent back to “where they came from.”

Elsewhere in the world, a man wishes for nukes for his country. The world erupts in chaos. The Soviet Union launches nukes towards the U.S., in retaliation for the new weapons POTUS wished for; the U.S. fires back. It’s a mess.

Wonder Woman Faces Off Against Cheetah in Asteria’s Golden Armor

Before Diana can stop Max Lord, however, she has to get through her friend, Barbara, who has entered full-on Cheetah mode. While most people only got one wish from the Dreamstone, Dr. Minerva got two. After Barbara saved him at the White House, Max told Babs: “I’ve never been one for rules … Tell me, what do you want? I’m feeling generous.” So she wishes for even greater power: “I don’t want to be like anyone anymore. I want to be #1. An apex predator, like nothing there’s ever been before.”

Yes, friends, she is now a cat.

While Barbara pretty easily dealt with a wish-weakened Diana at the White House, tossing her around like she was nothing, Cheetah ultimately proves to be no match for Diana at her full strength, in Asteria’s Golden Armor. As we learned earlier in the film, Asteria was the Amazonian’s fiercest warrior. When the Amazons escaped to Themyscira, someone had to stay behind to keep the encroaching men at bay. That person was Asteria, wearing armor forged from all of the Amazonian armor. Diana found it when she came to the World of Men, but she never found Asteria…

Cheetah claws her way through the armor’s wings, but Diana doesn’t need those—not really. After a swinging battle, Diana gives Barbara one last chance to renounce her wish. Barbara doesn’t, and Diana uses a nearby downed power line to electrocute Cheetah into submission. Does she know this won’t kill Barbara? Honestly, probably not. Who even knows the limits of a half-human, half-cheetah creature that, by wish definition, has no precedent? It doesn’t kill Barbara, though, and Diana leaves her weakened on the ground outside of the satellite facility.

Diana Uses Her Lasso to Show the World the Truth

Midway through the movie, Diana tells Steve (and us) that the Lasso of Truth doesn’t just have the power to make people tell the truth; it also has the power to make people see the truth. This comes back in a big way in the movie’s climax, when Diana furtively snakes her Lasso around Maxwell Lord’s ankle while he is broadcasting to the world in order to speak to all of the wish-makers herself, in order to make them see the truth of what their wishes are costing the world.

“The world was a beautiful place, just as it was. You cannot have it all. You can only have the truth ,” she tells them before also recognizing and validating their pain. “You’re not the only one who has suffered, who wants more, who wants them back, who doesn’t want to be scared anymore or alone or frightened or powerless … Because you’re not the only one who imagined a world where everything was different, better … But what is it costing you? Do you see the truth?”

It’s a particularly strong message on a thematic level: the idea that we, as a world, need to see through the lies of capitalism and consumerism to the truth. That “more” doesn’t come without a cost, one that is hurting not only ourselves but the entire world. From climate change to global and domestic inequality (both complex issues that represent the devastating human cost of late stage capitalism), it’s not hard to see the real-world applications to this theme.

Max Lord is Saved By the Power of Fatherhood

With Diana’s help seeing the truth, people around the world begin renouncing their wishes. And, eventually, so does Maxwell Lord. Diana helps him see the truth of what his wish is costing him: his son, Alistair. Then, it is an easy choice for Lord. He chooses his son, over power, greed, over more. He chooses the joy and love of his present and future over the pain of his past, which we see in flashbacks: The trauma he suffered watching his father hurt his mother, from being poor, from being socially isolated growing up.

With Diana’s help, Max recognizes the truth of all that he already has in Alistair. In the film, fatherhood represents a kind of sustainable abundance that the Dreamstone could never give. Because of this, Max is finally able to be truthful with Alistair: “I’ve been lying to you. I’m a pretty messed up loser guy,” giving his son a truth that we get the impression Young Max was never granted: “You don’t ever have to make a wish for me to love you.”

In return, Alistair reminds Max that he doesn’t need to earn his preciousness. He has always been worthy of love, even when the world failed him and the people in his life weren’t able to give it to him. “I already love you, Daddy,” Alistair tells Max. “Because you’re my dad.”

Does Barbara Renounce Her Wish?

Max Lord definitively renounces his wish at the end of Wonder Woman 1984 in order to save son Alistair, but the choice is much murkier when it comes to Dr. Barbara Minerva. In her final shot of the film, Barbara is no longer in Cheetah form, but we also never see her explicitly renouncing her wish. According to Patty Jenkins, the ambiguity was intentional.

“I have my reasons for making it ambiguous, and I think it’s not clear what her point of view [is] on everything that just happened …  I love that we wrap up Max Lord’s point of view, and that you see the culmination of that storyline, I think is so important. But the truth is there may or may not be more to come [for Barbara].”

It sounds likely that we will see Cheetah again.

Why Does Wonder Woman 1984 End at Christmas?

Originally, Wonder Woman 1984 was supposed to be a summertime release. No one could have predicted the circumstances that would lead to the many delays, and an eventual global release during the Christmas 2020 season. However, the film’s final scene is very Christmas-y. Patty Jenkins told Den of Geek and other outlets during a recent press event that she had thought about re-filming it, but ultimately decided against it. Now, it works perfectly!

Interestingly, it also means that this final scene takes place roughly five months after the events of most of the movie, which takes place around the Fourth of July, as we see from the Invisible Jet scene. Emotionally, this works really well as it makes sense that Diana would need some time to get over losing Steve again, and might not be ready to fully embrace the wonder of the world around her right after having to say goodbye. In other words: this feels more truthful to the character.

The Mid-Credits Scene: Reveal of Asteria

Hopefully, you stuck around until the very end of the film, as Wonder Woman 1984 snuck a scene into its credits. In it, we see a woman who looks like Diana from the back save a baby and its mother from a falling telephone pole on a busy market street. When the woman turns, it is Lynda Carter, the actress who played Wonder Woman in the 1970s TV series. 

In the show, Carter played Diana Prince. Here, she is playing Asteria, the warrior who stayed behind when Themyscira was built in order to keep humanity from following the rest of the Amazons. Earlier in Wonder Woman 1984, Diana told Steve that she searched for Asteria when she came to the World of Men, but could only find her Golden Armor. Now, we know Asteria is still around and still saving people.

“I’ve been doing this a long time,” Asteria tells the baby’s mother in the mid-credits scene, before Carter winks at the camera. Hopefully, this isn’t the last we’ve seen of Asteria.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

[happytobecambridge]

Fatherly Adventures with the Captain Chapter 9: Come Home

The one thing she notices about their home is that boy, do they have a lot of books. However, when your husband is the most inquisitive man whose lived for like three hundred years and your son is the author, not just an author, but THE author- it’s to be expected.

Their house, she would say, perfectly describes their little family. Henry’s scarf and coat hangs on their coat rack, right by their front door. Killian’s leather jacket on the hook next to it, followed by her red leather jacket, tying up the whole ensemble.

Killian’s shoes are always neatly placed on their shoe rack, and let’s just say hers and Henry’s are usually haphazardly strewn across the entrance to their home.  

Their living room has an open feel to it- in fact, it’s probably where you’ll find them every night after dinner. Their coffee table, handcrafted by Marco and specifically designed per her and Henry’s requests to look like a treasure chest (much to Killian’s surprise and delight), often holds cups of hot chocolate, bowls of popcorn and milk duds, as the family settles in for their movie nights. This is where Henry’s love for Star Wars, Emma’s love for the classics like Back to the Future, Breakfast Club, 16 candles, are introduced and shared with Killian. She’s worried that as Henry gets older that these movie nights might seem lame to him, but she’s already missed out on so much. But she finds that she’s got nothing to worry about- she’s got a great kid- one that gets just as pumped for movie nights as them.

She remembers when she was the Dark One wanting to incorporate little aspects of Killian into their home, but to be honest, home decorating was definitely not her focus or priority at the time. Now that they’ve settled into a more peaceful routine devoid of monsters, villains, and fairies, Killian’s added upon her choices during her stint as the Dark One Decorator. Their library with all the books has many of the maps he’s drawn as Captain proudly framed and hung. His sextant is displayed, along with the compass from his and Emma’s journey. He’s got a dart board in their library, where he’ll swear by his aim and precision. Her favorite though is when he’ll make that dopey face at her when he hits a bulls eye as she’s curled up on the lounge chair, enjoying the quiet moment and more often than not, catching up with her mom on the phone. His silly face makes her fall in love with him all over again.

The first couple of weeks since they found out that she’s pregnant, it’s only her, Killian, and Henry that know. It’s kind of exciting that this is something only the three of them know and can share, but also something that she needs. The last time she was pregnant she was in a far different situation- there was no excitement, there were no hugs or kisses. Instead there was fear- there was coldness- and those are feelings that stick with you. So while they wait for the all clear from the doctor before announcing it, she’s also working through these feelings- letting herself not feel guilty that this pregnancy is and will be different from the last, allowing herself to feel excitement over this child and being able to share this experience with Henry, even though she didn’t have it when she was pregnant with him. It’s also an eye opening experience for Killian- he’s had to confront his past demons himself- coming to terms with his father’s abandonment for his children and then Killian’s actions in retaliation.

The night before their 10 week check up with the doctor, she finds herself sandwiched in between her two boys, after finishing Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. Tomorrow once they get the clear from the doctor, they’ll be telling her parents that they’ll get to be grandparents again- the youngest second time grandparents this world has ever seen. She can already hear  the high pitched noises and squeals her mother will make and she already knows her father’s not gonna be able to calm her down, ever.

Vaguely listening to the two men in her life talk about their favorite heists/pranks from the movie, she starts to imagine how soon there’ll be a high chair added to their dining room, one of those sleeper chairs that rocks the baby in their living room. She can see it now- there’ll be baby books chosen by Henry all throughout the house- their little shoes will soon find their own place with Killian’s, Henry’s and hers by their front door. It’s something she never had, something she could never give Henry, but now she gets her second chance.

“Mom, are you okay?”

She’s startled out of her own thoughts by Henry’s worried tone. Quickly placating him, she throws her arm over his shoulder and ruffles his hair- just like she’s always done from the first time he brought her to Storybrooke. “Don’t worry kid, just got lost in my own thoughts. Pretty soon our house is gonna have baby stuff and I was just imagining how that’s gonna look like.”

“It’s gonna be awesome! I was thinking- what kind of mobile should the baby have in their room? I mean, I know Grandpa and Grandma planned for unicorns in yours, but I feel like we’ve got to find a way to combine Savior and Pirate for my brother or sister.” Henry’s excitement for his new sibling was something she’s eternally grateful for each and every day. She remembers the disappointment and the sinking feeling she had when she learned her parents were having another baby. But trust Henry to not only have the heart of the truest believer, but to literally be the most excited big brother. He wanted to know everything- how big’s the baby now, what can the baby do now- can it hear? can it see? is it sucking its thumb? He made it his and Killian’s mission to make sure that she wasn’t overdoing it- they’ve called it Operation Nesting Swan- they tell her it’s a working title. “Don’t forget author, lad.” Her heart melts  hearing Killian chime in. From day one, he’s stepped into the shoes of fatherhood for Henry, never treating him any differently or distantly because he wasn’t biologically Henry’s father. And since they found out news of the baby, he’s made it abundantly clear to their son that his relationship with Henry wouldn’t change and that Henry was just as much a part of this happy beginning and addition to the family.  

Henry’s smile at Killian’s suggestion brought the same to both Emma and Killian. She knew that keeping a secret from his other mom and grandparents, hell the whole town, was really tough on Henry, so she knew that once they got the okay from the doctor, he was going to be unstoppable then- he already was practically bursting at the seams. And speaking of which, she knew that there was no way she would be able to reign in Killian. Every time they’ve visited the doctor, he’s requested for a copy of the sonogram- she wouldn’t be surprised that once news spread, she would find her husband showing the whole town each and every picture.  

She couldn’t believe it- how far she had come, everything she’d faced- there were definitely times where her happy ending seemed impossible, where the picket fence life seemed so unattainable. But now here she was sitting in their home- a home she made with her husband, once a lost boy, who was on the verge of becoming a father, and what a wonderful father he would be. A home she made with her son, the boy she had to give up so he could have his best chance, who now found it with her, was growing up to be everything and more than what she wanted and dreamed for him, and she would get to witness it. A home where this newest duckling, who decided at that moment to move around her belly and make their presence known, would be joining them in just a couple of months.  

As she rested her hand on her growing bump to soothe her duckling, she thought, oh baby, we love you so much already and we can’t for you to come home.

#cs ff #cs fluff #daddy killian #mommy emma #cs parents #lauren writes

[cover2covermom]

Today I am sharing my favorite reads of 2019!  I read 130 books in 2019, so narrowing down my list to only 10 books was not going to happen #SorryNotSorry

Here are my favorite 24 books of 2019….

» The Winter of the Witch (Winternight #3) by Katherine Arden

Now Moscow has been struck by disaster. Its people are searching for answers—and for someone to blame. Vasya finds herself alone, beset on all sides. The Grand Prince is in a rage, choosing allies that will lead him on a path to war and ruin. A wicked demon returns, stronger than ever and determined to spread chaos. Caught at the center of the conflict is Vasya, who finds the fate of two worlds resting on her shoulders. Her destiny uncertain, Vasya will uncover surprising truths about herself and her history as she desperately tries to save Russia, Morozko, and the magical world she treasures. But she may not be able to save them all.

The Winter of the Witch was the perfect conclusion to the Winternight Trilogy. The Winternight Trilogy really has it all: political intrigue, Russian folklore, magic, action, adventure, a bad ass leading lady… I cannot recommend this series enough.

You can read my mini review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: Winter of the Witch

» The Snow Child by Eowyn Ivey

Alaska, 1920: a brutal place to homestead, and especially tough for recent arrivals Jack and Mabel. Childless, they are drifting apart–he breaking under the weight of the work of the farm; she crumbling from loneliness and despair. In a moment of levity during the season’s first snowfall, they build a child out of snow. The next morning the snow child is gone–but they glimpse a young, blonde-haired girl running through the trees. This little girl, who calls herself Faina, seems to be a child of the woods. She hunts with a red fox at her side, skims lightly across the snow, and somehow survives alone in the Alaskan wilderness. As Jack and Mabel struggle to understand this child who could have stepped from the pages of a fairy tale, they come to love her as their own daughter. But in this beautiful, violent place things are rarely as they appear, and what they eventually learn about Faina will transform all of them.

There was so much that I adored about this book: the beautiful writing, the characters, the plot inspired by Russian folklore, the magic realism elements, the frontier setting of 1920s Alaska…

You can read my mini review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: The Snow Child

» Moloka’i by Alan Brennert

This richly imagined novel, set in Hawai’i more than a century ago, is an extraordinary epic of a little-known time and place—and a deeply moving testament to the resiliency of the human spirit.

Rachel Kalama, a spirited seven-year-old Hawaiian girl, dreams of visiting far-off lands like her father, a merchant seaman. Then one day a rose-colored mark appears on her skin, and those dreams are stolen from her. Taken from her home and family, Rachel is sent to Kalaupapa, the quarantined leprosy settlement on the island of Moloka’i. Here her life is supposed to end—but instead she discovers it is only just beginning.

This book was absolutely heartbreaking on so many different levels. I cried on two different occasions while reading it, and I seldom cry while reading books.

Moloka’i included themes like family (traditional and nontraditional), friendship, freedom, hope, love, religion/faith (Christianity vs. Paganism), illness, loss, and grief.  This book blew me away.  I read it along with one of my book clubs, and every member enjoyed it.

You can read my mini review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: Moloka’i

» Circe by Madeline Miller

In the house of Helios, god of the sun and mightiest of the Titans, a daughter is born. But Circe is a strange child—not powerful, like her father, nor viciously alluring like her mother. Turning to the world of mortals for companionship, she discovers that she does possess power—the power of witchcraft, which can transform rivals into monsters and menace the gods themselves.

Threatened, Zeus banishes her to a deserted island, where she hones her occult craft, tames wild beasts and crosses paths with many of the most famous figures in all of mythology, including the Minotaur, Daedalus and his doomed son Icarus, the murderous Medea, and, of course, wily Odysseus.

But there is danger, too, for a woman who stands alone, and Circe unwittingly draws the wrath of both men and gods, ultimately finding herself pitted against one of the most terrifying and vengeful of the Olympians. To protect what she loves most, Circe must summon all her strength and choose, once and for all, whether she belongs with the gods she is born from, or the mortals she has come to love.

I adore how Madeline Miller weaves her Greek Mythology retellings. The more of Madeline’s retellings I read, the more I want to read Homer’s The Illiad & The Odyssey. Even though I have not read Homer’s books, from what I’ve researched, Miller stays true to the original story while creating an entirely new spin on the story.  Honestly, I hope she will continue this trend because I will read every one she comes out with.

Circe includes themes like complicated family dynamics, mortality vs. immortality, sexism/gender inequality, destiny, motherhood, sex positivity, and love. I was engaged from beginning to end.

You can read my mini review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: Circe

» The Poppy War (The Poppy War #1) by R.F. Kuang

When Rin aced the Keju, the Empire-wide test to find the most talented youth to learn at the Academies, it was a shock to everyone: to the test officials, who couldn’t believe a war orphan from Rooster Province could pass without cheating; to Rin’s guardians, who believed they’d finally be able to marry her off and further their criminal enterprise; and to Rin herself, who realized she was finally free of the servitude and despair that had made up her daily existence. That she got into Sinegard, the most elite military school in Nikan, was even more surprising.

But surprises aren’t always good.

Because being a dark-skinned peasant girl from the south is not an easy thing at Sinegard. Targeted from the outset by rival classmates for her color, poverty, and gender, Rin discovers she possesses a lethal, unearthly power—an aptitude for the nearly-mythical art of shamanism. Exploring the depths of her gift with the help of a seemingly insane teacher and psychoactive substances, Rin learns that gods long thought dead are very much alive—and that mastering control over those powers could mean more than just surviving school.

For while the Nikara Empire is at peace, the Federation of Mugen still lurks across a narrow sea. The militarily advanced Federation occupied Nikan for decades after the First Poppy War, and only barely lost the continent in the Second. And while most of the people are complacent to go about their lives, a few are aware that a Third Poppy War is just a spark away . . .

Rin’s shamanic powers may be the only way to save her people. But as she finds out more about the god that has chosen her, the vengeful Phoenix, she fears that winning the war may cost her humanity . . . and that it may already be too late.

If I had to sum up The Poppy War in a few words, they would be epic, brutal, and morally gray.  I flew through this book despite it being 544 pages!  I cannot wait to get my hands on the second book next month.

You can read my mini review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: The Poppy War

» Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson

The first ten lies they tell you in high school.

“Speak up for yourself—we want to know what you have to say.”

From the first moment of her freshman year at Merryweather High, Melinda knows this is a big fat lie, part of the nonsense of high school. She is friendless, outcast, because she busted an end-of-summer party by calling the cops, so now nobody will talk to her, let alone listen to her. As time passes, she becomes increasingly isolated and practically stops talking altogether. Only her art class offers any solace, and it is through her work on an art project that she is finally able to face what really happened at that terrible party: she was raped by an upperclassman, a guy who still attends Merryweather and is still a threat to her. Her healing process has just begun when she has another violent encounter with him. But this time Melinda fights back, refuses to be silent, and thereby achieves a measure of vindication.

In Laurie Halse Anderson’s powerful novel, an utterly believable heroine with a bitterly ironic voice delivers a blow to the hypocritical world of high school. She speaks for many a disenfranchised teenager while demonstrating the importance of speaking up for oneself.

Speak was a 1999 National Book Award Finalist for Young People’s Literature.

Books that explore sexual assault victimization are so important, especially in the YA target age range, because they can inform, increases empathy, and challenge problematic rape culture.  Speak needs to be required reading for all high school aged kids.

You can read my mini review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: Speak

» Daisy Jones and the Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid

Everyone knows Daisy Jones & The Six, but nobody knows the reason behind their split at the absolute height of their popularity . . . until now.

Daisy is a girl coming of age in L.A. in the late sixties, sneaking into clubs on the Sunset Strip, sleeping with rock stars, and dreaming of singing at the Whisky a Go Go. The sex and drugs are thrilling, but it’s the rock and roll she loves most. By the time she’s twenty, her voice is getting noticed, and she has the kind of heedless beauty that makes people do crazy things.

Also getting noticed is The Six, a band led by the brooding Billy Dunne. On the eve of their first tour, his girlfriend Camila finds out she’s pregnant, and with the pressure of impending fatherhood and fame, Billy goes a little wild on the road.

Daisy and Billy cross paths when a producer realizes that the key to supercharged success is to put the two together. What happens next will become the stuff of legend.

The making of that legend is chronicled in this riveting and unforgettable novel, written as an oral history of one of the biggest bands of the seventies. Taylor Jenkins Reid is a talented writer who takes her work to a new level with Daisy Jones & The Six, brilliantly capturing a place and time in an utterly distinctive voice.

I know this book has very mixed reviews due to its format, but I LOVED this book.  Since Daisy Jones and the Six is told in interview format from many different characters, many people were turned off.  Since I knew this was the format going into the book, this read like a classic rock band documentary playing out in my mind.  This book was meant for TV or film adaptation.

You can read my mini book review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: Daisy Jones and the Six

» The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry by Gabrielle Zevin

As surprising as it is moving, The Storied Life of A. J. Fikry is an unforgettable tale of transformation and second chances, an irresistible affirmation of why we read, and why we love.

We are not quite novels.

We are not quite short stories.

In the end, we are collected works.

A. J. Fikry’s life is not at all what he expected it to be. His wife has died; his bookstore is experiencing the worst sales in its history; and now his prized possession, a rare collection of Poe poems, has been stolen. Slowly but surely, he is isolating himself from all the people of Alice Island—from Chief Lambiase, the well-intentioned police officer who’s always felt kindly toward him; from Ismay, his sister-in-law, who is hell-bent on saving A.J. from his dreary self; from Amelia, the lovely and idealistic (if eccentric) Knightley Press sales rep who persists in taking the ferry to Alice Island, refusing to be deterred by A.J.’s bad attitude. Even the books in his store have stopped holding pleasure for him. These days, he can only see them as a sign of a world that is changing too rapidly.

And then a mysterious package appears at the bookstore. It’s a small package, though large in weight—an unexpected arrival that gives A.J. the opportunity to make his life over, the ability to see everything anew. It doesn’t take long for the locals to notice the change overcoming A.J., for the determined sales rep Amelia to see her curmudgeonly client in a new light, for the wisdom of all those books to become again the lifeblood of A.J.’s world. Or for everything to twist again into a version of his life that he didn’t see coming.

What bookworm doesn’t love a story about books, bookstores, and the people that love books?  The Storied Life of A.J. Fikry was heartwarming, funny, and emotional.  I’d recommend this book to fans of quirky characters & fans of books like A Man Called Ove.

This made for an excellent book club discussion with the moral dilemmas in the story.

You can read my mini book review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: The Storied Life of AJ Fikrey

» With the Fire on High by Elizabeth Acevedo

With her daughter to care for and her abuela to help support, high school senior Emoni Santiago has to make the tough decisions, and do what must be done. The one place she can let her responsibilities go is in the kitchen, where she adds a little something magical to everything she cooks, turning her food into straight-up goodness. Still, she knows she doesn’t have enough time for her school’s new culinary arts class, doesn’t have the money for the class’s trip to Spain — and shouldn’t still be dreaming of someday working in a real kitchen. But even with all the rules she has for her life — and all the rules everyone expects her to play by — once Emoni starts cooking, her only real choice is to let her talent break free.

I adored Elizabeth Acevedo’s debut novel, The Poet X, so I was very excited to read her next book.  I listened to her first book via audiobook, and fell in love with the author’s narration.  I chose to listen to Fire on High via audiobook as well.  I loved this one just as much as her first!  Elizabeth Acevedo has a beautiful way with words & I adore her characters & plotlines.  I typically stray away from YA contemporary, but I’ll read anything Acevedo writes!

You can read my mini book review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: With the Fire On High

» The Read-Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease

Recommended by “Dear Abby”, The New York Times and The Washington Post, for three decades, millions of parents and educators have turned to Jim Trelease’s beloved classic to help countless children become avid readers through awakening their imaginations and improving their language skills. Now this new edition of The Read-Aloud Handbook imparts the benefits, rewards, and importance of reading aloud to children of a new generation. Supported by delightful anecdotes as well as the latest research, The Read-Aloud Handbook offers proven techniques and strategies—and the reasoning behind them—for helping children discover the pleasures of reading and setting them on the road to becoming lifelong readers.

The Read-Aloud Family is about the the reasoning and the research/evidence behind why you should be reading aloud with your children.   Since childhood literacy is a passion of mine, this book was absolutely fascinating!  This book should be read by all parents, educators, and librarians!

You can read my mini book review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: The Read-Aloud Handbook

» Red Sister (Book of the Ancestor #1) by Mark Lawrence

I was born for killing – the gods made me to ruin.

At the Convent of Sweet Mercy young girls are raised to be killers. In a few the old bloods show, gifting talents rarely seen since the tribes beached their ships on Abeth. Sweet Mercy hones its novices’ skills to deadly effect: it takes ten years to educate a Red Sister in the ways of blade and fist.

But even the mistresses of sword and shadow don’t truly understand what they have purchased when Nona Grey is brought to their halls as a bloodstained child of eight, falsely accused of murder: guilty of worse.

Stolen from the shadow of the noose, Nona is sought by powerful enemies, and for good reason. Despite the security and isolation of the convent her secret and violent past will find her out. Beneath a dying sun that shines upon a crumbling empire, Nona Grey must come to terms with her demons and learn to become a deadly assassin if she is to survive…

From the very first line, I was completely captivated by Red Sister.   The characters are complex.  The world is well developed and fascinating.  The plot was fast paced, action-packed, and an adventure from start to finish.  This book has everything I love in my fantasy books: bad ass leading lady, action, magic abilities, school/training setting, political drama, and an emphasis on friendships.

You can read my mini book review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: Red Sister

» A Game of Thrones (A Song of Fire and Ice #1) by George R.R. Martin

Here is the first volume in George R. R. Martin’s magnificent cycle of novels that includes A Clash of Kings and A Storm of Swords. As a whole, this series comprises a genuine masterpiece of modern fantasy, bringing together the best the genre has to offer. Magic, mystery, intrigue, romance, and adventure fill these pages and transport us to a world unlike any we have ever experienced. Already hailed as a classic, George R. R. Martin’s stunning series is destined to stand as one of the great achievements of imaginative fiction.

A GAME OF THRONES

Long ago, in a time forgotten, a preternatural event threw the seasons out of balance. In a land where summers can last decades and winters a lifetime, trouble is brewing. The cold is returning, and in the frozen wastes to the north of Winterfell, sinister and supernatural forces are massing beyond the kingdom’s protective Wall. At the center of the conflict lie the Starks of Winterfell, a family as harsh and unyielding as the land they were born to. Sweeping from a land of brutal cold to a distant summertime kingdom of epicurean plenty, here is a tale of lords and ladies, soldiers and sorcerers, assassins and bastards, who come together in a time of grim omens.

Here an enigmatic band of warriors bear swords of no human metal; a tribe of fierce wildlings carry men off into madness; a cruel young dragon prince barters his sister to win back his throne; and a determined woman undertakes the most treacherous of journeys. Amid plots and counterplots, tragedy and betrayal, victory and terror, the fate of the Starks, their allies, and their enemies hangs perilously in the balance, as each endeavors to win that deadliest of conflicts: the game of thrones.

Game of Thrones is full of action, adventure, humor, political intrigue, plot twists, and lots of death.  I was completely engrossed in this book from start to finish.  I cannot wait to read the rest of the books in this series!

You can read my mini book review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: A Game of Thrones

» The Library Book by Susan Orlean

On the morning of April 29, 1986, a fire alarm sounded in the Los Angeles Public Library. As the moments passed, the patrons and staff who had been cleared out of the building realized this was not the usual fire alarm. As one fireman recounted, “Once that first stack got going, it was ‘Goodbye, Charlie.’” The fire was disastrous: it reached 2000 degrees and burned for more than seven hours. By the time it was extinguished, it had consumed four hundred thousand books and damaged seven hundred thousand more. Investigators descended on the scene, but more than thirty years later, the mystery remains: Did someone purposefully set fire to the library—and if so, who?

Weaving her lifelong love of books and reading into an investigation of the fire, award-winning New Yorker reporter and New York Times bestselling author Susan Orlean delivers a mesmerizing and uniquely compelling book that manages to tell the broader story of libraries and librarians in a way that has never been done before.

In The Library Book, Orlean chronicles the LAPL fire and its aftermath to showcase the larger, crucial role that libraries play in our lives; delves into the evolution of libraries across the country and around the world, from their humble beginnings as a metropolitan charitable initiative to their current status as a cornerstone of national identity; brings each department of the library to vivid life through on-the-ground reporting; studies arson and attempts to burn a copy of a book herself; reflects on her own experiences in libraries; and reexamines the case of Harry Peak, the blond-haired actor long suspected of setting fire to the LAPL more than thirty years ago.

Along the way, Orlean introduces us to an unforgettable cast of characters from libraries past and present—from Mary Foy, who in 1880 at eighteen years old was named the head of the Los Angeles Public Library at a time when men still dominated the role, to Dr. C.J.K. Jones, a pastor, citrus farmer, and polymath known as “The Human Encyclopedia” who roamed the library dispensing information; from Charles Lummis, a wildly eccentric journalist and adventurer who was determined to make the L.A. library one of the best in the world, to the current staff, who do heroic work every day to ensure that their institution remains a vital part of the city it serves.

Brimming with her signature wit, insight, compassion, and talent for deep research, The Library Book is Susan Orlean’s thrilling journey through the stacks that reveals how these beloved institutions provide much more than just books—and why they remain an essential part of the heart, mind, and soul of our country. It is also a master journalist’s reminder that, perhaps especially in the digital era, they are more necessary than ever.

The Library Book is an ode to libraries, and how they are such an important staple in a community.

You can read my mini book review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: The Library Book

» The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah

Alaska, 1974. Unpredictable. Unforgiving. Untamed. For a family in crisis, the ultimate test of survival.

Ernt Allbright, a former POW, comes home from the Vietnam war a changed and volatile man. When he loses yet another job, he makes an impulsive decision: he will move his family north, to Alaska, where they will live off the grid in America’s last true frontier.

Thirteen-year-old Leni, a girl coming of age in a tumultuous time, caught in the riptide of her parents’ passionate, stormy relationship, dares to hope that a new land will lead to a better future for her family. She is desperate for a place to belong. Her mother, Cora, will do anything and go anywhere for the man she loves, even if it means following him into the unknown.

At first, Alaska seems to be the answer to their prayers. In a wild, remote corner of the state, they find a fiercely independent community of strong men and even stronger women. The long, sunlit days and the generosity of the locals make up for the Allbrights’ lack of preparation and dwindling resources.

But as winter approaches and darkness descends on Alaska, Ernt’s fragile mental state deteriorates and the family begins to fracture. Soon the perils outside pale in comparison to threats from within. In their small cabin, covered in snow, blanketed in eighteen hours of night, Leni and her mother learn the terrible truth: they are on their own. In the wild, there is no one to save them but themselves.

In this unforgettable portrait of human frailty and resilience, Kristin Hannah reveals the indomitable character of the modern American pioneer and the spirit of a vanishing Alaska―a place of incomparable beauty and danger. The Great Alone is a daring, beautiful, stay-up-all-night story about love and loss, the fight for survival, and the wildness that lives in both man and nature

 This book was a roller coaster of emotion & heavy topics.  Themes included in The Great Alone include survival, coming of age, PTSD, domestic violence, family, & resilience.

You can read my mini review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: The Great Alone

» The Dragon Republic (The Poppy War #2) by R.F. Kuang

The searing follow-up to 2018’s most celebrated fantasy debut – THE POPPY WAR.

In the aftermath of the Third Poppy War, shaman and warrior Rin is on the run: haunted by the atrocity she committed to end the war, addicted to opium, and hiding from the murderous commands of her vengeful god, the fiery Phoenix. Her only reason for living is to get revenge on the traitorous Empress who sold out Nikan to their enemies.

With no other options, Rin joins forces with the powerful Dragon Warlord, who has a plan to conquer Nikan, unseat the Empress, and create a new Republic. Rin throws herself into his war. After all, making war is all she knows how to do.

But the Empress is a more powerful foe than she appears, and the Dragon Warlord’s motivations are not as democratic as they seem. The more Rin learns, the more she fears her love for Nikan will drive her away from every ally and lead her to rely more and more on the Phoenix’s deadly power. Because there is nothing she won’t sacrifice for her country and her vengeance.

The sequel to R.F. Kuang’s acclaimed debut THE POPPY WAR, THE DRAGON REPUBLIC combines the history of 20th-century China with a gripping world of gods and monsters, to devastating effect.

I’m happy to report that there was no second book syndrome for this epic series! The Dragon Republic was an excellent follow up to The Poppy War.

You can read my mini book review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: The Dragon Republic

» Other Words for Home by Jasmine Warga

I am learning how to be sad and happy at the same time.

Jude never thought she’d be leaving her beloved older brother and father behind, all the way across the ocean in Syria. But when things in her hometown start becoming volatile, Jude and her mother are sent to live in Cincinnati with relatives.

At first, everything in America seems too fast and too loud. The American movies that Jude has always loved haven’t quite prepared her for starting school in the US—and her new label of “Middle Eastern,” an identity she’s never known before. But this life also brings unexpected surprises—there are new friends, a whole new family, and a school musical that Jude might just try out for. Maybe America, too, is a place where Jude can be seen as she really is.

This is such an important middle grade book because it deals with a refugee experience with mild tones of Islamophobia.  Warga handles these topics with care & authenticity

You can read my mini book review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: Other Words for Home

» Heroine by Mindy McGinnis

An Amazon Best Book of the Month! A captivating and powerful exploration of the opioid crisis—the deadliest drug epidemic in American history—through the eyes of a college-bound softball star. Edgar Award-winning author Mindy McGinnis delivers a visceral and necessary novel about addiction, family, friendship, and hope.

When a car crash sidelines Mickey just before softball season, she has to find a way to hold on to her spot as the catcher for a team expected to make a historic tournament run. Behind the plate is the only place she’s ever felt comfortable, and the painkillers she’s been prescribed can help her get there.

The pills do more than take away pain; they make her feel good.

With a new circle of friends—fellow injured athletes, others with just time to kill—Mickey finds peaceful acceptance, and people with whom words come easily, even if it is just the pills loosening her tongue.

But as the pressure to be Mickey Catalan heightens, her need increases, and it becomes less about pain and more about want, something that could send her spiraling out of control.

This book is one the best portrayals of drug addiction that I’ve ever read.  It was raw, gritty, and deeply unsettling.

You can read my mini book review here ⇒ Mini Book Review: Heroine

» The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow

In the early 1900s, a young woman embarks on a fantastical journey of self-discovery after finding a mysterious book in this captivating and lyrical debut.

In a sprawling mansion filled with peculiar treasures, January Scaller is a curiosity herself. As the ward of the wealthy Mr. Locke, she feels little different from the artifacts that decorate the halls: carefully maintained, largely ignored, and utterly out of place.

Then she finds a strange book. A book that carries the scent of other worlds, and tells a tale of secret doors, of love, adventure and danger. Each page turn reveals impossible truths about the world and January discovers a story increasingly entwined with her own.

Lush and richly imagined, a tale of impossible journeys, unforgettable love, and the enduring power of stories awaits in Alix E. Harrow’s spellbinding debut–step inside and discover its magic.

  I adored this heartwarming story of love, grief, and perseverance.

» Brave by Svetlana Chmakova

In his daydreams, Jensen is the biggest hero that ever was, saving the world and his friends on a daily basis. But his middle school reality is VERY different – math is hard, getting along with friends is hard…Even finding a partner for the class project is a big problem when you always get picked last. And the pressure’s on even more once the school newspaper’s dynamic duo, Jenny and Akilah, draw Jensen into the whirlwind of school news, social experiment projects, and behind-the-scenes club drama. Jensen’s always played the middle school game one level at a time, but suddenly, someone’s cranked up the difficulty setting. Will those daring daydreams of his finally work in his favor, or will he have to find real solutions to his real life problems?

The charming world of Berrybrook Middle School gets a little bigger in this highly anticipated follow up to Svetlana Chmakova’s award winning Awkward with a story about a boy who learns his own way of being Brave!

LOVED this graphic novel from the illustrations to the story.  A wonderful depiction of the struggles of middle school.

» Emily of New Moon (Emily #1), Emily Climbs (Emily #2), &

Emily’s Quest (Emily #3) by L.M. Montgomery

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Emily Starr never knew what it was to be lonely — until her beloved father died. Now Emily’s an orphan, and her mother’s snobbish relatives are taking her to live with them at New Moon Farm. She’s sure she won’t be happy. Emily deals with stiff, stern Aunt Elizabeth and her malicious classmates by holding her head high and using her quick wit. Things begin to change when she makes friends: with Teddy, who does marvelous drawings; with Perry, who’s sailed all over the world with his father yet has never been to school; and above all, with Ilse, a tomboy with a blazing temper. Amazingly, Emily finds New Moon beautiful and fascinating. With new friends and adventures, Emily might someday think of herself as Emily of New Moon.

If you enjoyed Anne of Green Gables, you’ll enjoy this series too!

» Educated by Tara Westover

Tara Westover was 17 the first time she set foot in a classroom. Born to survivalists in the mountains of Idaho, she prepared for the end of the world by stockpiling home-canned peaches and sleeping with her “head-for-the-hills bag”. In the summer she stewed herbs for her mother, a midwife and healer, and in the winter she salvaged in her father’s junkyard.

Her father forbade hospitals, so Tara never saw a doctor or nurse. Gashes and concussions, even burns from explosions, were all treated at home with herbalism. The family was so isolated from mainstream society that there was no one to ensure the children received an education and no one to intervene when one of Tara’s older brothers became violent.

Then, lacking any formal education, Tara began to educate herself. She taught herself enough mathematics and grammar to be admitted to Brigham Young University, where she studied history, learning for the first time about important world events like the Holocaust and the civil rights movement. Her quest for knowledge transformed her, taking her over oceans and across continents, to Harvard and to Cambridge. Only then would she wonder if she’d traveled too far, if there was still a way home.

Educated is an account of the struggle for self-invention. It is a tale of fierce family loyalty and of the grief that comes with severing the closest of ties. With the acute insight that distinguishes all great writers, Westover has crafted a universal coming-of-age story that gets to the heart of what an education is and what it offers: the perspective to see one’s life through new eyes and the will to change it.

This memoir was absolutely heartbreaking & horrifying.  Educated makes for a perfect book club selection.

» All-American Muslim Girl by Nadine Jolie Courtney

Allie Abraham has it all going for her—she’s a straight-A student, with good friends and a close-knit family, and she’s dating cute, popular, and sweet Wells Henderson. One problem: Wells’s father is Jack Henderson, America’s most famous conservative shock jock…and Allie hasn’t told Wells that her family is Muslim. It’s not like Allie’s religion is a secret, exactly. It’s just that her parents don’t practice and raised her to keep her Islamic heritage to herself. But as Allie witnesses ever-growing Islamophobia in her small town and across the nation, she begins to embrace her faith—studying it, practicing it, and facing hatred and misunderstanding for it. Who is Allie, if she sheds the façade of the “perfect” all-American girl? What does it mean to be a “Good Muslim?” And can a Muslim girl in America ever truly fit in?

ALL-AMERICAN MUSLIM GIRL is a relevant, relatable story of being caught between two worlds, and the struggles and hard-won joys of finding your place.

This was a beautiful coming-of-age story about a girl that is struggling with her identity and feels the need to hide her true self.  I loved the growth of the main character, Allie, from start to finish.  I also think this book does a beautiful job of laying out what Islam is, and what it isn’t.

Did you read any of the books on my list?  If so, what did you think?

What are some of your favorite books of 2019?

Comment below & let me know 🙂

Favorite Books of 2019 #BookBlogger #Bookworm #Bibliophile #Books #Reading Today I am sharing my favorite reads of 2019!  I read 130 books in 2019, so narrowing down my list to only 10 books was not going to happen #SorryNotSorry…

#Am Reading #Bibliophile #book blog #book blogger #Book Chat #Book Nerd #Book Talk #Book Worm #Bookish #Books #Bookworm #Reading

[swfindingfreedom]

A Star Wars Fanfiction

Finding Freedom

Chapter 20

There was a chill in the wind that managed to find its way through Kylo Ren's thinner areas along his robes. This planet was not snow filled like Starkiller Base, however, the cold certainly seemed to equal it.

He didn't care for the weather. He preferred milder climates, but he did not complain. Snoke walked beside him over the Tarmac toward a facility that was very much newer than that of the last place.

Scanners scanned both men before the doors opened, Stormtroopers flanking either side of the door. His Master was quiet and had been for the majority of their trip.

The rest of the Knights of Ren were not there to greet them and Ren assumed they had not yet arrived. They continued on toward the very core of the facility, a room that had windows on all sides. Snoke stopped and looked out one. A few floors below Ren could see training in progress for the Troops. The room below was sectioned off and Ren assumed that the other windows viewed a different room.

"We have much to discuss," Snoke spoke up still staring straight ahead. Ren was reminded of Xalaina. "I was aware of your inability to find a balance between the light and dark. I knew you struggled to control the power you hold. I took you under my wing to help you achieve the greatness I knew was in you." Snoke paused. "I had never thought you would betray me."

"I have not." Kylo Ren replied, baffled.

"You let her get away," Snoke replied with a growl. "I cannot completely blame you. You are right, I trained her well. She can be very persuasive when she wants something, but the fact of the matter is that she is privy to information we do not need our enemies getting wind of."

"Doubtful she will go to our enemies, Master." Ren held back the uncertainty he felt.

"Don't underestimate her resolve to see me ruined." Snoke turned and walked across the room to look out the opposite window. Ren followed and viewed a room full of children, all looked to be below the age of eight. Each one taking turns stepping up blindfolded to fight off shots from small practice droids.

Ren stayed silent. "I assume she told you of my plans. What it was I wanted from her?"

"Yes," Ren replied. He saw no point to lie.

"I'll admit, I am the reason she is our enemy. Had I treated her differently growing up we would not be in the situation we are now. I learned the hard way that my heavy hand in her training is what makes her who she is today."

So she wasn't dead. Ren couldn't help but feel relief at the inkling.

"These children you see here are all Force Sensitives. Orphans so that they would be more open to training under me. I am their saviour, I have given them a purpose. Xalaina believed that her child would have been trained as she had, and for that, I have only myself to blame. I have since modified my methods. A child between yourself and her would have been a true gift." Snoke frowned.

"I've no desire to become a father, not with Xalaina nor any other woman." Ren put his foot down. That was one future he had no intentions of diving into.

"Think of the potential Ren. You are the last Skywalker able to carry on the bloodline. Your mother is unlikely to have any more children if she can even have any at all. The same goes for Luke Skywalker who never seemed interesting in following the path of fatherhood. It would be a shame to see that bloodline end. So much power, so much potential." Snoke spoke with a calm soothing tone. A tone meant to make Ren reconsider, but he would not.

"My main objective is to find my uncle and to stop him from resurrecting the true Jedi Order. Beyond that, I have no other plans." Kylo Ren knew saying no would only cause Snoke to continue with this chat. For now, Ren wished only to focus on his main objective.

"Finding Skywalker and eradicating him is a top priority. Perhaps we'll revisit this topic another time." Kylo Ren was happy to get away from the subject. "I am glad to see your priorities have not changed, considering your part in Xalaina's escape."

Ren did not reply. He felt tense though he did not physically show it. "You cannot think me a fool entirely. You may not have been seen, but I have no doubt you helped. When I first learned of your relationship with her, I worried that she might have turned you against me. A part of me wonders if she just might have." Snoke turned to Ren his eyes burning with suspicion.

"I see only two reasons you are still with me, you are plotting to turn on me from within or you managed to escape her conniving ways. My biggest concern is that the second option leaves me wondering why you aided her in running at all."

Ren swallowed but he had his answer. It always knew his answer. "It's true, I aided in her escape but not because I have joined her cause, but rather for the information she had that I wanted." Kylo Ren waited a second to see if he could read his Masters mood - he could not.

"She taught me to close my mind from those who would force themselves inside. That Scavenger pushed her way into my mind. She hadn't even begun to understand her power at the time and she had been strong enough to read my thoughts. I will not allow that to happen again. Xalaina's talent could prove useful for many things."

Kylo Ren saw the flash of anger in his Master's gaze. "For this trivial reason, you let her go, helped her." Even to that moment, it would appear Snoke was not 100% sure Ren had actually helped. His confession of the deed was not going over well, but Ren would face the consequences.

A low growl escaped Snoke's throat as he turned and walked several steps away. "Then this was her plan all along. Most likely from the moment I trapped her in the compound. Leading you along with a bite of something she knew would spark your interest. Your weakness is showing Ren. Manipulation can come in all forms."

Snoke's hand curled into a tight fist. Ren thought he might turn and make a swing at him, but Snoke did not. "What is done is done. We have things that need doing. Wait for the arrival of your Knights and when you are assembled, come to me." Snoke left, his anger lingering like a heavy cloud.

Ren turned his attention back to the training children below and pondered. Snoke seemed to be creating his own Jedi army. He would command quite a strong legion if he should succeed. They first needed to eliminate those already standing in their way, and afterwards, years from now as the children were still young, they would have an army no one would ever be able to resist. The Galaxy would no doubt belong to the First Order and they would reign supreme without contest.

He wondered if this was the secret Snoke was so desperate not to allow his enemies to find out. Did Xalaina already know about this? Was she really headed to the Resistance?

These were questions Kylo Ren had no answers to, but one thing was for certain. If Xalaina did know about this then she would come to stop it. This was not something she would choose to turn a blind eye to.

Next Chapter ---->

Back to Chapter 1

#kylo ren #kylo ren fanfic #star wars #star wars fanfiction #Kylaina