#melted like fucking butter

[sergle]

pointless trivia of the day: I get annoyed when people refer to cats kneading on something as "making biscuits" because biscuits aren't like breads, and should under No Circumstances Be Kneaded

#it makes me wonder if 'biscuit' used to be used to refer to bread rolls because otherwise. why would this be. #that cat's about to make some fucked up tough and chewy biscuits in that case!! this cat's restaurant is going under. #''what are biscuits then'' they're pastry and pastry absolutely hates to be Touched #they also have little sheets of butter in the dough that you want to keep Whole so you are desperately trying not to melt the butter #w the body heat coming from your hands #they eat like a bread but they aren't yeasted and they aren't kneaded

[crepegosette]

detective au but it’s the gfs

díky, lásko: thank you dear (correct me if im wrong)

#as i said they're dating :) #hetalia #hetalia world series #aph czech republic #aph czechia #hws czechia #hws czech republic #aph ukraine #hetalia ukraine #hws ukraine #hetalia fanart #hetalia fan art #hetalia world stars #czechukr #this is my new hyperfixation and i will drag more people with me #czechukr cult 2023 #snarky girl that gives no fucks to anyone but melts like butter when gf is around denisa and cinnamon roll too good for this world katya #i need you to look at them #my art

[linddzz]

The pride cake I made for the husband's birthday went through its own fuckin character arc. Also it was lemon with homemade lemon curd filling and Russian buttercream frosting and was so fucking good

#yes that is a last unicorn tapestry backdrop #husband demanded we set it up for a photoshoot when we cut the cake and did the glorious redemption reveal #russian buttercream is whipped butter with condensed milk whipped into it its fuckin delicious #but it. melts easy. at room temp and idk if i fucked it up but it sure didnt go on smooth like i imagined #i wanted flag stripes #i cut the tops flat and waited for them to cool a everything and it was going perfect until i was frantically repeating 'uh oh uh oh' #while scooping gloppy frosting back onto the cake

[ttngummybear]

Why do people on reddit have to fuck around with you and make you feel like an idiot for asking a question instead of just answering the question?

#asked if I could make peanut butter set hard like chocolate #dude jokingly told me to freeze it #my dumb stupid ass responded in earnest and told him it melts at room temp #he tells me of fucking course it does #shit that was frozen melts when not frozen anymore. i know this and should know this and walked right into it #oh it's impossible btw. peanut butter can't do that #and I'm apparently a fucking jackass for not already knowing it #you can buy peanut butter flavored white chocolate but peanut butter physically is not able to set. you cannot make it do that #like my dumb ass should have known rather than askinf such a shitty question you can only get that texture by freezing it and eating it cold #I just wish the dude had just. told me it wasn't possible instead of assuming I was being maliciously ignorant by not knowing #and talking down to me #fuck reddit

[ereborne]

Song of the Day: March 15

“Over Yet" by Hayley Williams

#song of the day #very exciting to have one of my brothers tell me entirely unprompted that he's enjoying the current playlist #a very big win #I spent most of my work day today doing what I've been thinking of as 'evil rubber-ducking' #where the IT guys throw me the especially Difficult faculty members--the ones who can't be helped because they won't listen-- #and I trick them into actually talking me through what they're doing so we can find the problem and fix it #(eternally amazed by people who request help and then refuse it. you called me bud. you submitted a service request ticket on purpose. #oh you can't do your job without connecting to the vpn? that's great we can't fix it until you tell us what's fucking stopping you) #mostly this 'tricking' takes the form of me being a sweet young butter-wouldn't-melt Southern girl in over my head with mean IT guys #bless them (derogatory) these folks who won't let IT even attempt to start working through the 'have you tried' scripts #because they know they're getting something wrong but are too angry-embarrassed to admit they don't know what #are still delighted to mansplain the idea of a remote connection to me #--that's not fair. I shouldn't mischaracterize them it's mostly not mansplaining. #the two today were yankee-splaining me. city-splaining maybe. #what would a hick like me (y'all is one person. all y'all or some'a y'all for multiple people) possibly know about enterprise networks-- #anyway they were using the wrong login credentials and were so sure of themselves they'd never even tried the other set just to see #bless. their. hearts. #(IT owes me so many little favors like this now. the latest database tweak I asked for got done live while I described it to them) #anyway anyway! love the chorus on this song #'to get out of your head yes break a sweat / baby tell yourself it ain't over yet' #makes me move my head every time

[thisperfectmonsoon]

“I just checked your night sky map.”

🥹🥰😭❤️💋❤️😭🥰🥹😘🥴😳❤️😳🥴😘🥹

#oh my GOD I cannottttt #I fucked melted instantly yall #like butter in a hot pan melted #personal #🍦 #he knows I love the moon and makes an effort to talk about it #he knows I love the moon and remembers how important she is to me #he knows I love the moon because he makes the effort to know me #🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️ #forgive my tag typo I’m not fixing it atp #la luna #the moon

[esseastri]

Fronds, it is not recommended to forget an entire CUP of flour whilst baking cookies.

#the whole house smells like melted butter bc that is basically all these cookies are #butter wafers with chocolate #jesus fuck HOW did I FORGET an ENTIRE CUP of flour??? #op #i am so mad at myself uggghhhh

[starrierknight]

eating my fav's pussy like how I devour my peanut butter bagel in the mornings

#i swear it's so fucking good bro #it's like crack #this morning the butter was melted perfectly.... and oh god #total foodgasm bro oh my #mmmmm peenuhbudder baegul.... #꒰ ♱ ꒱ — infinite deal of nothing

[glitchtricks94]

I tried talking about sharp teeth on discord and my internet fed me the middle finger. Uhm, excuse you, internet? Who the fuck do you think you are, keeping me from talking about the kinds of dangerous shark teeth my favorite men have in their mouths?

#glitchrambles.txt #the audacity! #I will scream about Jade Leech's teeth #I will scream about Idia Shroud's teeth #I will scream about Gyutaro Shabana's teeth #I want those shark toothed fucks to bite my neck with I make them melt like butter under my fingertips #AND I WANT TO SCREAM ABOUT IT DAMN IT

[effemimaniac]

feeling very adhd today like in the quirky hyperactive way but also in the "struggling to perform routine tasks that would otherwise be automatic if not for my excessive inattentiveness and distractability"

#you should have seen me making breakfast just before #eggs on toast like I have almost every day #almost burnt the toast because I put it back in the toaster after buttering because I took too long to get it out and butter it and it #wasn't melting #took the egg off the heat for this rigmarole because I've been around the rodeo a few times #almost forgot to turn the stove off after (remembered because I passed by the oven again) #this was all not as bad as some days though like there are some days that I do burn the toast fully and fuck up the egg and it all sucks #at least Ihave some energy today

[clitfisto]

oh boy i had a weird fucking dream last night

#started out with the worst most awkward family lunch on earth like people were just leaving #there was then a brief thing about the queen of england torturing a fish to death in a time loop #i was then in an op shop and found a book version of disco elysium which was titled ''the martinaise case'' #when i tried to buy it the storeowner said it would cost $3000 which pissed me off so much i slapped them with a handful of melted butter #and they were so distracted by the butter slap that i could just take the book and leave #also for the record this book was fucking huge and dense as hell it was thicker than les mis and when i flipped through the text was tiny #and the pages were like bible pages they were that thin #anyway i now had butter all over me and the book so i needed to find a bathroom to wash it off #so i went to the room that clover green-cryptid was staying in at some huge 10 storey house nearby #and then didnt even wash my hands in their bathroom cause i got distracted talking to them #my cousin showed up for a bit and then i spent the rest of the dream playing on escalators in the backrooms

[orbdog]

THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE FUCKING VANILLA?

#snarf #reddit #i was gonna be like #okay their frosting seperated #happens if you used like #kinda melted butter and not just softened #BUT THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE FUCKING VANILLA

[edsbacktattoo]

Dearest darling jams. what the fuck is a promite and what’s the difference (yes I could look it up myself but where’s the fun in that when I get to hassle you instead <3)

hello my darling anon. allow me to clarify

this is promite

this is vegemite

hope this helps <3

#in all seriousness promite is like. a less ‘yeasty’ version of vegemite #it’s more salty? #to me it almost tastes like a mild soy sauce #oh man explaining this is making it sound foul #but on some toasted bread with melted butter???? yeah promite fucks #it fucks good #i wish i could describe tastes better #like i’m a writer but i can’t describe this #it tastes good that’s all i got #salty :) #ask

[orcelito]

I'm getting notifications for both these posts and I'm just like

Yup. That's Me.

#speculation nation #something else i need you guys to know about my grilled cheese making process #i partially melted a bit of butter and started spreading it onto the bread just. with my fingers #got my fingers absolutely covered as i struggled to smear it b4 i stopped and was like. '...Wait. Maybe Theres A Better Way.' #and then i got a butter knife hdkshfnd #but yes. i am someone capable of profound thought and also i spread my butter with my fingers b4 remembering butter knives are a thing #i also burnt my grilled cheese a lil but not enough to make it bad. it was a damned good grilled cheese #for being finger-spread butter and almost-burnt and made with walmart brand 3 week old colby jack cheese #oh i am fucking living the life. i hope u guys who admire my writing see this and know just who has made those profound words #bc it's ME. 🤘😌 i am Here #in other news id been trying to watch cr3 but wasnt that interested #but started back up with cr2 and now i just want to watch it #learning txt members? who cares! ive got a wizard(s) to view

[trisqwik]

There are little lesbians who are obnoxiously in love with each other in my house and I want them to be in a lasting happy relationship somewhere else that isn’t in my house.

#ive got gripes brother #I’m happy they clearly feel happy and safe #but I’m gonna wring their necks like dishrags if they don’t start rinsing their bowls covered in melted cheese #and start heeding my sticky note pleas to put the fucking butter away so the cat doesn’t eat it #they forget how to complete tasks when they’re together #an adhd echo chamber with the little weirdos

[trashycosmos]

it's been a while since i made caramel so i thought i screwed it up last night but it turned out hella good

#the only thing i wanna do different next time is add the vanilla when i'm adding the butter and cream #feel like it might have burned a little waiting for the sugar to melt #still fucking tasty though! #Falling Apart And Coming Together