#medschool struggles

[missshame]

I hate studying I just wanna create stuff and see the world I hate how little control I have over my life

#Let's make it clear I know I'm lucky to get higher education and I'm grateful for it + knowledge can be the greatest tool #It's just that medschool is killing me and there's just too much stuff to learn and I'm struggling so badly with it that at the end of the #day it feels like I'm not learning anything and I'm completely dumb and uneducated #I'm not even a good student but it takes all my energy and even when I'm not studying I rarely have the energy to do anything #The only thing I sorta do consistently is working out because it makes my brain shut up for a while and it helps the muscle pain I got from #All the stress and sitting at my desk/working long days at the hospital #Anyway I love complaining sorry #I just feel like I had /have a very creative artsy nature and I'm really suffering from the lack of it like not in a I don't have enough #time for my hobbies and to relax #Which is already bad enough btw I don't think it should be considered normal for anyone to be too exhausted to do anything outside of work #But I really feel it in a I'm not myself anymore it's hard to move forward and build confidence and a sense of self while having a life so #far away from what you love and feel like you need + denying yourself what you desire the most can't be good to your brain let's face it #Anyway long story short first thing I'm gonna do when I finally get my degree is by me some drums learn the guitar and paint on the walls #And in the meanwhile Idk do I keep living this way? If I do will I go completely insane? #Or do gift myself the right to give up on the idea of being a slightly less bad student and do I say fuck it and start living my life now ? #Idk! Idddkkk !!! #Oh my god

[theladyyavilee]

.

#not putting this in any tags so if you don't want to see me rolling my eyes at the whiny people in this fandom don't keep reading xD #BUT #this whole 'the distance between buddie is so forced and there's no point to it and actually it's queerbaiting' shtick is literally just #'oh my god they are forcing endgame bucktaylor on us how could we have ever trusted them why are they trying to make us believe bucktaylor #is a good relationship' and 'oh my god the firefam feels so off this season why would they do that it makes no sense why is it so gloomy #and why did they forget how to write the firefam' #ALL OVER #AGAIN #when both of those storylines were THE POINT and actually pretty well crafted and SUPPOSED to feel off and frustrating #because one of them was about buck settling and the other was about all of the firefam members INDEED being off and needing time to #figure stuff out #like it was literally buck being miserable with taylor #eddie with his impending breakdown #chimney going after maddie and dealing with the fallout from that #bobby dealing with a flare-up wrt his alcoholism and struggling with that #and hen already to a degree dealing with medschool-family-firefighting and a lead up to her leaving #like they all had stuff going on AND IT WAS ON PURPOSE #literally why are you all SO FUCKING HELLBENT on insisting that this time THIS TIME there can't be any purpose to a storyline that #creates a feeling of - I don't even wanna call it distance because it isn't even quite that because they are still interacting - it just fee #feels like both of them are holding back about something #but why are y'all insisting that this time it's not on purpose to be build up for a storyline #but instead it is bad writing/homophobic writing #like #did you all learn LITERALLY NOTHING from s5? #also if I have to see one more person complaining about that buck-hen-denny scene I am going to FUCKING SNAP #one it was a cute scene and other relationships on this show DO DESERVE ATTENTION and two #turn your brain on people #they are not trying to imply that denny-buck and chris-buck is interchangeable #they are setting up for buck learning from whatever happens next episode with denny and denny's bio-dad #because that is important for buck's storyline AND he wilson family storyline because buck brings in a different perspective

[mysteriouspuccy]

I dream to be the girl that's like, "oh no I haven't started studying we're all in this together"...

knowing that I started long ago and I feel pretty confident about my knowledge already.

and actually, I might be well on my way there, because I was cooking last night and this girl asked me how my weekend was going. I told her it was pretty chill but that I'm just tired. she freaked out because me being tired means I was working, while I should've been resting like everyone else (we had just written a test on Friday, the next one is 2 weeks away). I assured her that "no I'm not deranged I deserve a break", knowing that I had, just a few hours prior, finished my notes for an entire chapter! :)

I am very pleased with myself.

#me #drafts #med student #med studyblr #medschool #productivity #academic struggles #academic validation

[foggyscholar]

to first year medstudents wondering How goddamn Anybody does this - that's where i was last year, you'll be okay

a lot of people don't think it's possible when they first start medschool, and then they do it anyway, and it does get easier - not the material, but the studying. you get better at it just by doing it.

if you're failing tests left and right and your average grade is just barely passing, that's fine, too, i've been there, several successful doctors i know were like that during their first years. the goal of first year is not to get straight As, honestly, it's to Make It Through (and you CAN do that)

i'm basically a straight B student this semester, and that comes pretty easily to me. i didn't fail any tests in the first 2 months of the semester, failed 1 in november (like 75% of the year failed it w me & i passed the retake yesterday)

look - on the one hand, i currently have 5 tests in the span of 7 days, i've been pulling lots of all-nighters again as a last resort & i'm literally throwing up from the stress. i'm by no means saying it's Easy now

it is, however, Easier, particularly compared to first year. by this point in the semester last year, i'd lost count of how many tests i'd had to retake. passing anything was a massive struggle. the light at the end of every tunnel seemed to be a train. and yet, i survived, i made it through. the spring semester was already easier than the fall, and this year has been even easier than that

the amount of information doesn't get smaller. your brain, however, gets a Lot better at taking it in. you're capable of so much more than you think.

i attribute my academical success this year to going through the trial by fire that was first year (anatomy in particular, so much memorisation) & taking the summer off to actually Rest for the first time in years (highly recommend if that is at all available to you)

don't be too hard on yourself. failure is a lesson you have to learn at some point, do not let the perfect be the enemy of the good here

you're not the only one that's struggling. if sometimes what's expected of you feels inhumane - yeah, honestly, it can be. keep it together anyway.

it is that hard but you're not just an idiot who got here by mistake - if you got into medschool, you have what it takes. it really is that difficult and also you can do it

#medschool #medstudent #medical school #first year medstudent #studyblr

[calxide]

HIT TWEET! FULLMETAL ALCHEMISTS/HOES (also known as Dying Medical Students)

Their group chat name changes from time to time because of Y/N’s impulsiveness.

[ @ Y/N ] online persona: zie (@ welzie). she got her nickname from the first woman in America to receive a medical degree, Elizabeth Blackwell (wel from “blackWELl” & zie from “ElIZabeth”). on the other hand, the username of her priv, “sizzly” came from “sizzly slide” — a move in Pokemon.

she regrets going to medschool but found comfort on medtwt. mainly tweets motivational quotes, phrases + note-taking tips and advice.

[ @ ALBEDO ] online persona: al (@ kreideprinz ). Kreideprinz means “chalk prince”; he tweets his drawings on their school blackboard (he uses chalk only lmao, king behavior). always gets a hit tweet because of his top-tier art that also has relevance to science and medicine.

Albedo has been friends with Y/N for such a long time that they are comfortable with each other’s personal space.

[ @ SUCROSE ] online persona: rosse ( @ C12H22O11 ). you get that formula? posts research about plants and would always receive feedback from professors from high-end universities all over Teyvat. plant lover, an advocate for nature, and definitely hates plastics.

two years younger than them but because she’s Y/N’s childhood bestie and treats Y/N as her older sister, she hangs out with the two just fine.

scroll down | PINNED TWEET | scroll up

NOTE i'm still editing kaeya's circle and would probably post it tomorrow or the other day.. no promises tho :'> all of them r on medtwt btw

SYNOPSIS When you experience struggles in the world of studying medicine and science, your Twitter moot is always there for you. On the other hand, an acquaintance enemy of yours never fails to bothers you. They have such contrasting personalities, yet a familiar feeling of comfort whenever you talk to them. Or is it uneasiness?

TAGLIST 🐦 @mayasshitposts @eternal-dokja

#HIT TWEET! 🐦 smau #genshin smau #genshin impact smau #kaeya x reader #genshin x reader #kaeya x you #kaeya x female reader #genshin x you #genshin x female reader #albedo #sucrose #genshin

[story-addict]

9-1-1

I finally saw the S5 finale & I am so excited for s6!

Im gonna post my predictions here to see how many I get right/wrong.

1. Albert & May will meet up in College and start secretly dating

2. Chim &/or Maddie will try dating other people but get back together by the end of S6

3. Buck & Lucy will start messing around and it will eventually lead to trouble as Taylor predicted in S5E16. Buck might revert to Buck 1.0 for an episode. This will end with Buck realizing his feelings for Eddie or Buddie queer-baiting.

4. Hen will either finish MedSchool or has an accident or tragedy that makes her give it up.

5. Bobby will struggle with his addiction and probably even relapse. Athena has to handle being married to an alcoholic for the first time.

6. Lucy &/or Ravi backstory & death scare.

7. Season Premier Disaster = Sinking Ship…sorry Bobby & Thena 😅

#9 1 1 #9 1 1 fox #911 fandom #911 fox #eddie diaz #evan buckley #hen wilson #bobby nash #athena grant #may grant #maddie buckley #chimney han #chim han #albert han #ravi panikkar #911 buddie #9 1 1 buddie

[arcanigenum]

Wishlist/relationship ideas/scenarios:

these are just random things and ideas i’ve posted that would be fun to write somehow!!!!!!

Generic 

Lowkey want a muses get stranded on an island-thread

the “going on an adventure into a cave and something is VERY wrong and oh god there are monsters here” is one of my favorite tropes

yes in unrvld there’s a nothingness out on a lake and no one knows what it actually contains, which makes sense, otherwise it wouldnt be nothingness. you cant see it. you just get inside by accident. reality ceases to exist like you know it. you cant get out.

Related to Jacques

KISS JACQUES YOU COWARDS

if you push your hand against jacques’ stomach or something, and do it hard and long enough, will his body absorb your hand after a while? (do it)

sOMEBODY BE friends with jacques pre-cancer and pre-tectus and pre-monster!jacques he gets sick and you know he’s gonna actually d i e within a couple of months but then he fucking vanishes. where is he. is he dead? probably dead, right? what else couldve happened. then he shows up like a year later and is healthy and cant talk about what has happened bc stuff is classified and he’s just like eeeeuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh well im not dying anymore?

be the person that throws every throwable thing around them at jacques because he cheated on them

Pre-established romantic relationship that is rocky and they dont really know why theyre still together when they think about it, and they complain to their friends and their friends are like WHY DONT U DUMP EM and they just safety in what is known even if it isnt perfect

Wow itd be a shame if a monster muse fucked jacques in their true monster form wow what a shame itd be 👉👈

imagine punching jacques in the face and your fist just sorta travels through the head and the flesh and bone grips it

Related to Benjamin

your muse knows him from high school or college or medschool or whatever. havent met each other since. maybe benj bullied the shit out of your muse. team up in the apoc.  consider your muse having to deal with teaming with their abuser from 20 years ago who either doesnt remember them or doesnt care LOL

benj considering your muse belonging to him so he’d be willing to kill anyone who fucks with them but your muse is more capable than benj at handling themselves

Related to Egil

Egil having a bunch of “wives”/“husbands” like negan but the exchange is blood for protection    

POV: egil saves you from a group of baddies in twd verse but now youre his blood slut bag.  he presents you as his blood slut to others as if it was your name.

someone should stab egil in the eye like the living dead person he is. and stake him.

Egil accidentally adopting your muse means he will dad them like a 17th century aristocrat dad which isnt much dading at all, but you might be trained to act like nobility

i have yet to rp egil when his heart fucks up and he just malfunctions i guess cus he cant die from heart failure as a vampire

imagine egil taking you out on a date and you get to feed the flesh building 😔❤  you get to choose whether you want to toss bodyparts into the depths of a flesh pit before or after dinner.

your muse having some sort of weird business kind of deal with egil and his bullshit and then we take it from there :’)))

Consider Egil challenging you to a duel because you have offended him, thats how real men settle their disagreements

if egil ever needs to see some kind of papers on/from staff at tectus he will do it in german bc he’s an asshole well aware of his background. “papiere bitte!”.  now imagine him doing this while carrying his whip and wearing jackboots.

Related to Morgan

anyone wanna meet morgan in a random half abandoned place where an even more random item keeps multiplying

lowkey need morgan to have a close friend or romantic partner who is a criminal bc he’d struggle a lot

just play magic the gathering with him and paint minis

Related to Haq’rhá

your muse meeting haqrha as a child and no one believes they met an alien. they meet again years later when your muse is an adult.

imagine haqrha teaming up with supernatural hunters

note to everyone wanting to fuck the alien: dont let him top unless youre predator proof or equal to his size bc he’ll kill u 🤷‍♀️

SPACE ADVENTURE BUDDIES?

Related to Jeremy

jeremy needs at least one demon friend he never exorcised for some reason. or who came back three times and the third time jeremy got tired of it and was like you know what, i cant be bothered anymore.

if jeremy has ever fallen asleep, hangover af, in the confession booth? yes

fr. jeremy marlowe might be a forbidden thirst trap but that doesnt mean you cant get him in bed haha go fulfill that priest kink i fully support this

Related to Ull

Ull; a calm guy, very chill and reasonable, actually enjoys modern society. Also Ull: SACRIFICE AN ANIMAL AND A HUMAN IN MY NAME IF YOU REALLY WANT MY HELP, MORTAL oh and dont forget my apple vodka

Related to Azazel

who wants to be possessed and terrorized by az )’: whats the point of writing a demon if it cant possess someone )’:

aesthetic: being violently dragged out of the bed by the ankle at exactly 3 AM, held by one of az’ massive, bony hands from his back. down the stairs. down through the floor. down into darkness.

az probably drags people into his mountain where it’s dark and cold and humid. his own personal hell

azazzle might be a flamboyant whiny dramaqueen dressed in silk and gold but now picture him throwing up a galil rifle and shooting up a place while laughing simply because he can- now picture him as a healing figure for ppl with mental health problems and trauma

az doesnt only devour people. he also devours animals. your pets. your cattle. your horse.

survival guide to hanging out with azazel:

- come with gifts. specifically gifts he can eat. preferably a live animal. a horse, thanks! - accept you may die at any given point. it makes it less fun to kill you. party pooper. - refer to him as angel and never demon unless you want to cease to exist. - dont mention god or other angels unless you want a crying and enraged az on your hands. - tell him no and he will throw a temper tantrum, just be prepared - consider not hanging out with him???????????? he’s the deadly sins taken to extremes???????

Related to Elliot

let elliot be the bobby to your sam & dean

anyway let elliot adopt your muse and take care of them and do tarot readings for them

Related to Vigrim

sOMEONE NEEDS TO RIDE ON VIGRIM’S BACK

be his neighbour bc he’s the weirdest neighbour ever.

#x. wishlist #long post

[chenle-dressed-in-black]

Hi how are you? Could I request a ship? Preferably Stray Kids lol.

I'm a white af girl (pale as shit) blue eyed, short (roughly 5'2), INFJ-T, Cancer, OCD (dabs in annoyed) and anxious freak.

I am an empath meaning talk to me man but I won't talk because I don't like weighing people with my problems and I'm shy as hell. I'm a like a mom because I like taking care of people. But I'm like a baby so often I'm being the victim of mom friends lol.

I kinda am clingy but don't like being super touched ya know... I'm weird.

I like music generally rock and kpop mainly. I wear lots of black and band t-shirts but I dress cutesy if I want. Mostly grudge tho... Kinda learning to play the guitar too!

I study for medschool(im a nerd but love it fight me), looove crime and criminal shoes as well as horror. Also working out is fun and dancing as well. I'm the person that will overanalyse movies after watching them.

I love cats... All of them... Period lol.

     When doing ships, I find that some come to me easily while others require more pondering. This one came to me instantly. Upon first and perhaps even second glance, people might not think you and Changbin have much in common. You're a cheerleader for the people you love, and you'd do anything for them. I think Changbin needs someone to see him as he is and love him to death for it. Although your personalities come with very different styles of communication and approaches to problems, the love and dedication to one another would win out during any conflict. You'd push one another to grow and meet halfway. You're both very driven in your careers, so you'd understand and support that piece of each other's lives. In addition, your general style is precisely what I see him finding irresistible. Most of all, though, he'd like the way you aren't locked into a box with your fashion choices. He'd totally watch crime documentaries and horror movies with you, waiting for the ending so you could have a podcast-worthy discussion. Changbin would come to know that your clinginess revolves more around having his presence and attention than physical affection—I think he's similar in that. He's rather straightforward with communication, which would be a good model for you, who struggles to confide in others during times of trouble. You seem like a very content and well-rounded person, which is the exact kind of human Changbin would admire. I believe that you two could share a deep and happy connection built on respect and compassion.

#stray kids #skz #stray kids ship #skz ship #kpop #kpop ships #seo changbin

[elegyofthemoon]

i need to run off and shower but the notif came up so

being told we can chart 5* characters in genshin?? holy shit i had a blast of buried excitement of 4 years come smack me in the face

due to said excitement i ran off to play some more genshin and winded up making progressing and FINALLY FINISHING YAE MIKO'S CHARACTER STORY THAT TOOK ME A YEAR+ TO FINISH MY GOD.... It was actually really good and Miko is such a fun character she's great :)

I also got to hang out with a friend and coop in genshin so that was really nice. It's been a while since I got to hang out in coop but I'm glad I was able to help out a bit ^u^ oh also I've never really hung out with her before so it was really cool to hang out with her for a bit ; v; I feel bad that I'm super awkward and tend to be very um.... "duty focused" but !! it went ok otherwise asldkjfah

mm i know these logs are also for myself so I shouldn't care if someone else reads it. this is just a Must i have to do it here. But I've been trying to pick up voice acting again because that used to be one of my fave hobbies before medschool pretty much destroyed all interests in anything. But I just heard of a new va project and I'm really excited to try my hands at it ; v ; like okay I doubt I'll have the ability to pass the auditions anyways because I'm super rusty and I don't really feel that my skills stand out or anything BUT at the very least, I'm super excited to try and work on it! Or at least in some way be able to chime in on the project ; v; that was what i was really excited about earlier eheh

OH that one wip that I've been struggling with? I managed to finish it the other day and I finished going through one round of editing today and I'm liking it a lot more now ;; v ;; i'm so glad for that aslkdjfah

will do after i shower but i'm going to attempt to start ch 14 for honkai impact but Also there's a good chance that I'm going to stop midway because i'd get too excited that my brain just refuses to understand what's going on. and if that's the case, drawing or writing something asldkjfah or maybe just back to reverie exploration... we shall see where the night takes us 👍🏼👍🏼

#happy logs

[shinra-makonoid]

Since I feel overall good with surgery and no pain, I forget I got it and so I'm raising my arms a bit (never above my shoulders... But still) and I can feel it stiff. I can't wait for the next 5 weeks to be over. Today I couldn't reach what I wanted on a shelf and struggled to carry my bag back to my home because it felt heavy, despite it not being heavy at all. Also not doing anything except being home because I tire easily and need to rest, it's really boring.

Also I'm late on my current planning for revision... I started playing FFVIII back tho and I know I won't be able to put it down until I finish it so...

Apparently my bandages are just for fun now and I shouldn't have to put them on for too long anymore. We'll see on Wednesday how long I need to carry on as it's my appointment date. It's healing nicely and I'm surprised how thin the appearing scars seem to be so far. I got a little bit of oedema on one pectoral from lymph which makes a funny sound when I poke it, but it's very little so nothing to worry about. Still I made the compressing shirt tighter to make sure it reduces.

I can only dream about medschool and what I'll do and wonder forever if I'll be up to the task and all.

#my transition

[studyblrattempt]

I didn't post anything lately because I simply haven't been studying at all. Initially it wasn't by choice, I just was quite busy with my job, and then I caught covid around Christmas and was too tired to study for a while. But since Saturday I'm honestly choosing not to get back to it. I just need to take it slow, take a proper break. It's funny because I always feel like I'm not studying enough, like I'm taking it easy, but now I'm realizing that taking it easy actually feels very different from whatever I'm usually doing. Like, it's true that on an average study day I don't spend each hour of my day studying ( which is fucking normal by the way and shouldn't make me feel guilty but anyway), but I'm always anxious about the way I'm spending my time, trying to optimize everything, scheduling my study sessions as well as the daily chores and leisure time, often finding myself ironing my clothes or playing the guitar at 10 or 11 pm because I simply couldn't fit it in my schedule anywhere else. I live rushing through everything, trying to do the most of each moment I have, answering uni emails at my job, counting commuting time as a break, with a very clear vision of how much time I can spend on each thing and a feeling of failure if I exceed it. And the whole time I'm suppressing my emotions the best I can, beacause I just don't have the time the deal with them. Of course I also sometimes get distracted or procrastinate but that doesn't feel recharging at all, in fact, it's quite the opposite. So yeah. I guess I'm tired. I thought I would rest around Christmas but I was sick af so I'm resting now. Another thing I'm realizing after a few days of doing nothing is that I'm slowly finding back the desire to do things like reading, playing music, learning stuff or watching movies, which is something I genuinely thought it would take me weeks or even months of vacation to feel again. Nice to find out that the bleakness isn't permanently sticked to my soul. One other nice thing that I didn't think was possible is that I'm not studying, and I don't feel guilty for it. I sometimes get a little anxious about it, but for the most part I don't really care. I guess I'm a bit angry at how difficult medschool is, and how it takes a toll on everyone's mental health, and anger is like a shield sometimes. I'm not doing that bad, and I think my friends are okay too, but we had our ups and downs, and sometimes our downs were way too low. And we're part of the lucky ones, who never got hospitalized, who don't need to take pills, who don't have debilitating symptoms of any mental disorder. I mean, I do need to see a therapist, but I hardly ever feel suicidal anymore. Unlike this student from another medschool in my country how died of suicide a few days ago, unlike many other students who struggle everyday to not end it all. So yeah. I guess I'm angry. Well that's way too much words. So to summarize and leave myself a reminder: you're not lazy, it's medschool, you're not fucked up, it's medschool, screw it, you can rest.

#reminder #Studyblr #I doubt anybody will want to read that which is fine it helped me clear my mind to write also I need to practice my English lol #Mental health #I you read it tho please know that I'm talking about medschool because that's all I know but I believe every student should take the right #To say fuck it and rest anytime and everytime they feel the need

[chiefsawyer]

Full Name: Elaine Jean Sawyer

Nickname(s): Laine, Lainey, EJ, Baby bird/Bird

DOB: July 24th

Female; she/her; straight?

Height: 5'4’’

Hair color: Red

Eye color: Blue

Tattoos: None

Piercings: Ears; two on each of her lobes

Language(s): English, a moderate amount of Spanish, some French, and fluent in ASL

Occupation: Chief of Staff at Seattle Grace Mercy West Hospital ( formerly a General Surgeon who found a love for business and evil )

Relationship Status: Married to Donovan Lewis

Summary:

tw: death, mental illness ( schizophrenia mention ) manipulation 

- Elaine grew up a sweet little redhead and then some things went down with her mom, who struggled with paranoid schizophrenia. When her mom had a bit of a break and scooped Elaine out of bed in the middle of the night, convinced that Elaine's father and brothers were conspiring against Elaine and her mother, and that they weren't safe at home and needed to get far away and proceeded to drive Elaine across the country. Elaine ofc was down for the roadtrip with her mom, her bestie. After a few weeks of Elaine and her mother being reported missing, when they were found by police, her father had her mother admitted to a full time care facility and Elaine's lack of understanding the entire situation made her real angry at her dad ( she uses her mom's maiden name as her last name, Sawyer, and has since the incident when she was 6 ). Given that she was the youngest of 5 kids and the gap between her and her next sibling was 10 years, her now single dad ended up dragging her all around with him and she went to too many poker nights with him so between her tiny child rage over missing her mom and not understanding anything except for the poker games, blossomed a love for learning how to be deceitful, perceptive, and berry toxic. She was ( and still is ) very good at such might we add.

- She kept being toxic through life and would basically just get close with her dads friends/her teachers/mentors through college/medschool and then hold those relationships/interactions/boinking against them ( BUT she did meet Donovan during her internship and he was the first person in power who gave her enough respect to build a fun/wink wink/goofy friendship with and really never abused his power against her shoutout Don ) to get ahead and then eventually married one of those mentors bc he was kinda chill but then he passed away due to a small medical issue that escalated and his death DEFINITELY was not manipulated/caused by Elaine ( shhhh ) but he left her lots of money and his kids, her stepchildren, are literally her age and they’re pretty chill so probably felt at least a little bad tampering with his life/playing god but it’s fine bc she took his job and was HBIC in her department for a minute. After her husband passed away, she also reconnected with Donovan for a money-related deal and they were married for one year in order to help Don get inheritance money and they split the fat check but after a year she felt obligated to absolutely bounce back to work focused crazy bitch.

- Miss ma’am ended up getting pretty bored so she continued being toxic and making friends/getting close with people and learning things about them to get ahead ( she really boinked her way up to the top ok ) and would subtly threaten/blackmail those people to get ahead and boy did she and then she met another husband and he was really cool but he had a big bad air about him and she WAS NOT here to be arm candy so she was like time for my biggest magician act yet and through some connections knew about SGMW and had some dirt on the chief there ( an NPC for the sake of writing ) and basically hopped on a redeye and threatened the chief with some dirt. Her husband found out about the threatening, he was friends with the chief, and was like ma’am if you do this I’m leaving you no cap and Elaine was like bestie the divorce papers are on the kitchen counter checkmate my brother and she also had boatloads of dirt against husband and wrote up a heinous divorce contract with her lawyer that screwed him so bad so she got lots of money in the divorce too hehehe

- Anyways chief was like mkay you win and basically stepped down for ‘personal reasons’ and she was their first pick ( duh ) for replacement and she nailed her interview because even though she doesn’t play fair, she does a good job at what she does career-wise and now she’s here vibing and kind of relaxing because being toxic is tiring I guess? She’s a pretty chill lady but kinda rude/doesn’t let people get very close to her because over her dead body would you get dirt on her. But she’ll take all the gossip and secrets and loves playing therapist for her own gain honestly and that is all 

[devendarko]

It's About Time

Lately I've been living my life one foot backwards and one foot forward. I feel like I'm stuck in between moving on and have new experiences in life and at the same time I don't want to leave my past life.

From time to time I would've often reminisce the times when I was still in medschool. Like no matter how hard my life was living far from home and juggling academics, love life, friendships and my daily struggles, I would often survive it.

Being an adult sucks, you can't make any mistakes and wrong choices. Everybody seems to think I have figured out my life. I would often wake up tired and stressed and grumpy. To live my daily life preparing for my boards and devouring unlimited cups of coffee to make me awake. It's a struggle waking up early in the morning but I have no choice. This is is the life I chose and this I will live. Which kinda brings me the reason to write this post.

I am tired of feeling tired and feeling sorry for myself. I am so done just sitting by the sidelines, keeping my head down and studying. I will live my life knowing that I will pass my boards and finally become a doctor. I will romanticize my struggles and prove to myself that I can do it.

#midnight thoughts