#medical trauma cw

[mamawasatesttube]

i accepted im not finishing the timkon vday fic today and instead launched into yet another new wip instead. i present to you: a snippet of kon vs his deeply repressed medical trauma, featuring core four and what is gonna be some gratuitous kon & clark fambly focus...

The voices are still talking, too loud and too fast to understand. Kon tries to breathe harder, his heart racing—the beeping doesn’t help—and looks around frantically. Where’s the exit? He just came through a door, but he doesn’t know where it went—

A gloved hand settles on his arm, and a cold wipe that smells of alcohol scrubs over his skin. Kon tilts his head to see what’s happening.

A needle glints in the doctor’s other hand. They’re prepping his arm for intravenous injection.

“NO!” He jerks away, terror flaring through his stomach. It’s so poignant it almost drowns out the agony. His TTK flares, too, and the doctor and the needle in their hand fly across the room, far away. A flash of light and a person with chestnut hair catches them, so they’re not hurt.

Good. Kon didn’t mean to hurt anyone. He just—he just wants them to stay away.

He’s safe for the moment. Kon sobs for breath—

“Kon!” The person from before, the one lying and saying it’d be okay, appears again. They grab Kon’s hand and squeeze it. “Kon, she was only trying to help! You’re safe, I swear—”

Kon jerks away. “Don’t—don’t lie to me—” he manages. He needs to get up. He needs to get out of here. He needs… he needs…

When he tries to sit up, pure agony lances through his entire body. It radiates out from his gut and spears up through his chest like lightning, so sharp he can’t breathe and stars sparkle across his blurry vision.

What did they do to him?!

He isn’t safe here, he needs to get out of here! It’s only gonna get worse the longer he stays; they’ll get another doctor, another needle—he has to sit up, he needs to move—

Strong hands clamp onto his shoulders and hold him down. Despite all his strength, they hold him down. Kon cries out, a new wave of ice-cold terror spearing through him. “No! No, no let me go!”

“Cassie, you’re scaring him!” the other voice says, tugging at the new person’s wrists, completely ineffectively. “We need to calm him down, not—"

The new person, Cassie, ignores them. “Kon, listen to me.”

Kon shakes his head, terrified. “No no no no no!”

“Kon, you can’t hurt the doctors. They’re trying to help, okay? You’re badly hurt, and they’re trying to help, but you need to let them do their jobs!”

Another person in surgical scrubs approaches. Kon barely hears what they say over all the roaring in his ears, but it doesn’t matter. He knows how Cadmus operates.

“…you restrain him until we can administer anesthesia?” he overhears. It’s enough. He hyperventilates, sobs for breath, shoves ineffectively at the strong arms holding him down. Desperate, he shoves at Cassie with TTK. Thankfully, that has some effect: she yelps as he shoves himself a few inches off the bed, but then sharp, white-hot pain sears through his entire body, and his vision blacks out.

When he comes to, Cassie is over him again, and—and—

Glowing, golden ropes wind tight around his shoulders, his wrists, his thighs, his legs. He’s completely pinned to the bed. One end of the ropes is wrapped around Cassie’s hands.

He can’t move.

He can’t escape.

No. No no no no this can’t happen again, they’re going to hurt him and he needs to get out but he can’t—he can’t—oh, god, this is happening again and he’s just gonna have to take it, and—and it already hurts so much, he can’t take it—

Kon chokes on another sob. “Please,” he begs. “Please please please please—”

Cassie looks anguished. “I’m sorry, Kon,” she says, but she’s not sorry enough to let him go, so it doesn’t matter. “It’s for your own good, I swear.”

He can’t move. He can’t move and it hurts and he can’t move and it hurts and no matter how hard he struggles, he’s pinned, and it hurts it hurts it hurts so so so bad, and oh, god, he’s trapped. He’s trapped, he can’t—he can’t—

Terrified, Kon does the only thing he can think of.

“SUPERMAN!” he screams. “Kal! Kal-El! Please, please—help me, help me, don’t—don’t let them do this to me again, Kal, Kal—”

There’s a pinch in his arm.

The needle.

Kon falls silent.

It’s… it’s really happening again, isn’t it? No matter how much he fights and screams and pleads. They’re gonna cut him open and hurt him and put him back in the tube. They’re gonna make him just another slab of tissue. An experiment and not a person. It’s happening again. And he can’t stop it. He can’t escape.

He can’t escape.

His chest hurts. A single tear rolls down the side of his face into his hair.

The door slams open. Kon’s gaze snaps over.

“What is going on here?”

Superman stands in the doorway, resplendent in all his glory. He’s an even more welcome sight than the sun, and even though Kon can’t move thanks to the golden ropes, he whimpers, fingers twitching as he yearns to reach for him.

He looks furious.

#rimi writes #its like completely unedited so far bc i only edit once im done with a complete draft but hey. my writing process! #also i just have Feelings about kon looking to clark for safety when he feels helpless. thats superman. he saves everyone. #theyre family... clark is kons idol and hero and he admires him so much... and kons just clark's lil guy... #kon #clark #injury cw #medical trauma cw

[strawberry-whump]

Post-captivity whumpees with medical trauma — not from anything Whumper did, but because of the non-consensual medical procedures they went through after being rescued

#im just saying like lonan- #whump prompt #strawberry speaks #captivity whump #recovery whump #medical whump #medical trauma #medical trauma cw #medical trauma tw

[genderfuckyou]

Being intersex is crazy. Like i was put on hrt unknowingly in my late teens and had dysphoria bc of it for YEARS crazy. Like not a word of anything related to my chromosomes was said to me or my family from pre- birth beyond crazy. Like my family history with our intersex bodies was buried for DECADES crazy. Like my primary physician knew and didnt speak on it even when i got SUICIDAL crazy

#intersex #save for later #suicide mention #sui mention #medical trauma cw #personal vent #ok to reblog #gender dysphoria #dysphoria cw

[eriexplosion]

Thinking again about my "Hunter has full vivisection scars" headcanon and that he caught a glimpse of his own ribcage on a display after an exploratory surgery and that's why he goes for the skeleton tattoos and it's so specific that if I want it I'll have to write it myself but writing HARD. Every day I struggle with this battle.

#the bad batch #this probably needs some content warnings huh #implied gore cw #medical trauma cw

[notfromcold]

A lot of good, compelling stories can be told about coercion. Sometimes those are the stories I want to read but they are not the stories I end up telling for whatever reason.

One of my favorite parts of writing hurt/comfort is making the comfort a love letter to consent. Hurt characters get told what's going on and asked for consent before being touched and they get listened to. And, sure, sometimes no one is happy with the options but whatever option is chosen is freely chosen.

I love writing characters asking to receive care. I love writing characters asking permission to give it.

#whump tag #consent and lackthereof #hurt comfort fic #medical cw #injury cw #nonconsensual touching #implied #medical trauma cw

[andthebeanstalk]

I am deep in my anger about the ignorance/apathy that the majority of abled Americans have about how deeply fucked up this country's treatment of disabled people is. Not only am I ENRAGED by it, but also it doesn't make logical sense! Don't they know they will become us? Don't they know that it is only the unlucky who die too young to develop a disability? Don't they understand what's coming for them??

I want to be legally allowed to save money! I want to be allowed to marry my wife legally! I want to be able to buy nice things and go on vacations, instead of being trapped at home with no wheelchair and no ramp! And I am only 29! Everyone knows when you get old here, you get locked away in a sad understaffed facility, and folks are out here acting like they'll never grow old!

The only thing keeping my grief and my feelings of helplessness against a massive enemy from overwhelming me is this project I've been working on with some new friends.

There's this piece of land, you see. It's huge and beautiful and being sold way WAY under market price. And there's a chance - not a guarantee but a real chance - that I will have the opportunity to live in this beautiful green place and to build a community and a free medical treatment center there that will change and save lives.

I see before me a path to create a bright spot of rest and love in the darkness, where I can prove to person after person - and to myself - that a better life IS possible, right here in America, where most of can't afford to leave. In America, we are meant to believe a life of poverty is just something some people deserve. They don't. No one does. And I have a chance to make sure as many people as possible know they do not deserve to be left behind.

The world does not need more heroes. The world needs more care. The world needs places to rest. People need to be told that they are valued even if they cannot labor - and THEN they need to be treated like they deserve help and have value beyond their labor.

I spend a large part of my life trying to prove to the government and doctors that I am poor enough/sick enough/disabled enough (in the exact ways they approve of) to receive help. - Without this constant, intricate song and dance of evil banality and arbitrary denial and cruel loopholes, I can be denied what I need to live. (I am only alive because I have the privilege of having rich relatives, who paid for my college education and currently pay my rent.) If I was not able to afford an assistant, I would already have lost all of my benefits. Currently, I am at risk of losing my Medicaid because I missed an unexpected "prove to a doctor you are still disabled" deadline. There is a massive and ongoing burden of proof in this country placed on disabled people and subject to the whims of rich white abled judges and the minutiae of paperwork.

That's why it's so important that I have this opportunity to help people. I cannot tell you what it will mean to me the day I get to look someone in the face and tell them that their housing and medical treatment will be free as long as they need it and with nothing expected in return. I wanna meet someone who has been trying their hardest for as long as they can remember to build a stable life, and I want to be able to tell them to please try their softest. To prove to me nothing. To take their time. I will tell them that I need neither justification nor evidence to believe them when they say they need help. I want to be living proof that people deserve help just by being alive on this planet. I want to be included as part of that. I deserve a soft place to land too.

Also this property has a wheelchair ramp, meaning I could finally get a wheelchair after 2 years of needing and not having one!

One of the other members of the team has already brought up building a system of elder care on the property that would allow people to receive comprehensive health care as they age and to remain part of a vibrant community!

There's Hope. There's Real Hope. I can hardly believe it.

And if this particular opportunity doesn't work out, well, I'm never going to stop pursuing that dream. Never. I will either get there or die having journeyed towards it my whole life, and in doing so, I will have made this world a little softer in a million other ways, and I will have made the path a little easier to walk for whoever comes after me. I used to want to leave destruction in my wake or die trying. But in this, I will leave creation in my wake, and I will live trying. (And if doing so allows people to grow strong enough to destroy evil institutions... good.)

I am going to look at every cruelty of this system that nearly killed me, and I'm going to foster the right conditions to do the exact opposite. I will take the ableism of my family who wouldn't believe that I couldn't work even when I was dying, and I will do the opposite. Oh, the people I will believe! The people I will help feed! The people I will protect and build strong houses and long tables with! The people I will learn from! - I haven't even met most of them yet! How exciting that my life may still yet be long and full of wonders!!

I hope anyone reading this who has also at some point felt like a long life would be a curse, especially if they feel like that right now... I wanted to say that me and my friends and people like us - and opportunities like the one I've been blessed with - will only be able to help you if you stay alive long enough to be found. Or to find us, as the case may be.

If you can't live long enough, it's not your fault. Truly, it's not; and your death would be a tragic loss to yourself and to this world that I cannot begin to describe because it would make me so sad my literal heart would start to hurt and I'd never get to bed tonight.

But please, please, hold on with everything you have, for as long as you possibly can. Please handle your heart with the gentlest hands you can muster. I need you to live long enough to sit at our table because nothing is guaranteed except that you must be alive to do it. And I'm saving you a seat that only you can have, and without you it will remain forever empty and our table forever incomplete. You are invited to this party, and it just won't be as good without you. I'm a lousy cook, but I'm making friends with chefs, and I promise I will make sure you have enough food. There will be music and laughter and dancing. Some of us will dance in our wheelchairs. Some of us will hug and cry and plant flowers. All of us will stare in amazement of the better days we once thought impossible.

And I for one will be so fucking happy to see you there. I will take you by your hand, look you in the eye, and with the greatest, warmest relief in my heart, I will thank you for living to share this day with me. Because I know damn well that it was stupid fucking hard, and that it is not okay how hard it was.

But, look, now the sunset is warm upon our faces and the children are laughing with the community elders, and we can sleep knowing we are not alone. We made it. We really made it.

And maybe it's not specifically me and it's not specifically you - the metaphor has its limits. But there are so many people like me who want a better world, and there are so many people like you who deserve to live to see it.

And if we never see better days, then I will count each day we survive as a victory and a rebellion, because that's what they will be. I will cherish and live for each little bit of love and joy we carve out of the darkness.

But a better life does not become impossible until we are dead. Which means as long as we still live, there is Hope.

Have courage and be kind, friend. Be kind to yourself especially - even if you can only do so a little bit at a time, it's worth the practice. Turns out it is harder to live than to die. But I care that you are found.

---

Optional musical accompaniment to this post bc I've never had any chill and I don't see why I should start now:

A practical song about managing anxiety with the line "i care that you breathe" in it

Brian David Gilbert's beautiful song "See the Day"

A song about surviving while sick in America, and which I am told once saved a life

A lovely nerdy song called "Critical Hit" that inspires me on the days I have a little more energy

#original #ableism cw #medical trauma cw #trauma cw #ablism #poverty #hope #hopepunk #cripplepunk #this world is not yet lost. and it won't be until we are all dead. and we just have to deal with that. #suicide mention #kinda #some people react to talk of Hope in different ways. it's okay if you don't like the way I talk about it. we can have different brains. #i still care that you breathe #brian david gilbert #the altogether #ghost mice #if i die before i make my great big dream come true i will at least die knowing that my small kindnesses and my work has #helped and even saved people. the little things are in fact not little at all. they never were. others have saved me w such casual things #we deserve safety and peace and life. this is the Truth. i will hold this truth close to my heart in the hopes that you can do the same. #if this post helps people then that's great but I wrote it to help me remember my hope. if it helps someone else then that is a double win. #I must make a post like this once a month. I can't help it if I'm a parody of myself. or rather I can but why would I want to I'm a delight

[queerplatonicpositivity]

[ Preview Image Description: A white person in a flannel shirt and jeans, sitting on a stone bench outside, looking at the viewer and smiling. ]

This article is a few years old, but it's a great perspective from an intersex adult, sociology professor Georgiann Davis.

#intersex #intersex positivity #medical abuse cw #medical trauma cw #intersex awareness day

[trauma-culture-is]

C-PTSD culture is having a panic attack whenever someone says ‘you may have to go to the hospital’ and being scared to leave the house for medical appointments, AND being scared to sleep in fear of waking up sick

❤‎

#trauma culture #actually traumatized #trauma #cptsd culture #medical trauma culture #panic attack mention #medical trauma cw #mod puns

[lifeinpoetry]

Whisper it three times in a row:

Stop Stop Stop

In a hospital bed like a curled-up fish, someone’s

gulping at air—

How should you apply your breath?

— Dana Levin, from “Instructions for Stopping,” Now Do You Know Where You Are

#quote #Dana Levin #poetry #Now Do You Know Where You Are #out of my collection #Instructions for Stopping #medical trauma cw

[phisaya]

(Some doodles I was working on. I want to make a better version of them)

#(ooc) #(mun art) #blood cw #medical trauma cw

[ikkaku-of-heart]

Doctor Distrust Headcanon

I don't know if I've actually made an official headcanon for this, but Ikkaku has an instinctive distrust towards a lot of doctors. She was traumatized by the bigotry and mistreatment she'd witnessed at Arkham Hospital back home, the knowledge of what was done to the patients during the Siren Plague, was herself threatened with lobotomy by a doctor as a young child, and continued to be reminded of their greed and corruption every time she had to look at the statue in front of the hospital that had been paid for using money her grandfather had given to find a cure for the plague. Before joining the Hearts, her last check-up was when she was six, and the last time she had been looked over by a real doctor was when she was seven (and Tomasu had a gun to the man's head the whole time just to be safe).

Law, of course, is the main exception to this, but that's because he proved himself in her eyes before she even set foot in his exam room. Even then she was extremely nervous during her first check-up with him, and while she's better now, there are times when she'll instinctively avoid going to him if she's sick or injured (even if she'll badger others when the roles are reversed). She's also generally fairly trusting of any medically trained members of the Hearts as well since they're nakama.

Other doctors she's willing to trust are Chopper (he's too cute for her to be scared of, doctor or no) and Marco (her grandfather was able to vouch for him long before they even met due to his connection to Whitebeard). And there's Herbert West, but he had to earn that trust first. But while she's more willing to warm up to doctors than Marines, she's still instinctively distrusting of you if you tell her you're a doctor, simply because she's known too many bad apples.

#Working of the Mind (headcanons) #Engine's Pulse (Ikkaku) #medical trauma cw #medical malpractice cw #(writing up a response and realized I should probably put this out there for people) #(Arkham Hospital really was a horrible place even with all of the brilliant doctors there) #(if you want to read up more about the horribleness I've got links in the first paragraph lol)

[pyshcic]

the fact that alice's cheerful and easy-going demeanor is largely due to the permanent damage unregulated & abusive electro-shock therapy did on her while human (turning her completely amnesiac, which is why she doesn't remember her human life) is... horrific, when you remember it. agreeable and kind and fun at most moments due to an extreme physical trauma. happy even when she doesn't really mean to be, and she's completely unsure why!

#medical trauma cw #abuse cw #hospitalization cw #𝐢. footnotes & meta . ﹙ now ��that 𝘪𝘴 a mystery . #the worst of it is that i think there are moments of not clarity but a #vague understanding that these things are missing –– that it's almost there #but will never be! #she'll never remember her mother's face. her sister. #she won't remember her father and what he did to their family. #she won't remember her second father who saved her life and turned her. #she won't remember why the sight of james tightens her chest and #dredges up this sensation of fear & guilt & anger. and she will #never understand why those feelings are so fleeting –– #why she can't hold onto things very well. #writing a reply and thinking of this ..

[lilacmornings]

I think I have nerve damage from having an IV forced u_u

#medical trauma cw #it’s been a week still hurts #it’s a bad nerve jolt too #Weh #my silly text #my hand is all purple from another forced iv too

[autcnomy]

So Lionel’s obsession with Clark makes Lex’s seem like nothing, and it’s interesting to me how that plays out. Lionel either directly or indirectly causes every single bad thing that happens to the main cast.  It’s especially cruel to Lex, whom he keeps hungrily (if unconsciously) feeding out of his hand by always dangling that paternal approval JUST out of reach while PRAISING Clark. But that obsession with Clark is really an obsession with the potential to become invincible.  Resurrecting “Adam,” sending him romantically after Lana to spy on Clark, and then letting him DIE in a warehouse, denied the medication that keeps him alive, however, is a new and stomach-turning low. 

#ambs liveblogs smallville s3 #medical trauma cw #medical trauma tw

[roguemonsterfucker]

Sometimes my dreams will slap me in the face with suppressed trauma.

Today’s trauma is medical professionals hurting doing procedures on my little sister without my parents’ permission or knowledge.

At least in this dream I got the satisfaction of stabbing the asshole with the needle they were about to use on her.

Hey so if you ever hear me talking about hating doctors. Please know I have my reasons. I have a whole fucking lifetime of reasons.

#needles cw #medical trauma cw

[notfromcold]

CW child abuse

I think... when you've been harmed by systems and institutions, justice is a collective thing.

I would love to tear down the clinic where I was abused as a kid brick by brick. I would love to dismantle the police state. Of course that's not going to happen.

If I had more time and energy, I might want to do restorative justice work with my mom to come to some sort of understanding that she was also hurt by the systems that she used her privilege to sic on me. She was hurt in that she ultimately lost a son. She was hurt because I told her at nine years old that I wouldn't forgive her. And then I never did.

I would like an apology as well, frankly.

But I don't know that I could do that work and continue to function on any sort of level at all. And there's no one to take care of me if I don't take care of me. So. Gotta make money and pay my bills, etc.

#child abuse cw #trauma llama #police violence #medical abuse #medical trauma cw