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#meant to post this a few weeks ago but then i went ''i should edit this'' and it sat in my drafts untouched until now
lincolndjarin · 8 months
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ride cowgirl! ★ (agent whiskey x reader)
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(18+ mdni) pairings : agent whiskey x afab!reader summary : you like to make bets with your coworker for simple things, what happens when he decides he wants to raise the stakes? warnings & tags : no use of y/n, smut, sort of dubcon there's reluctance but everything is consensual, porn with plot, this ended up actually being mostly plot lmao, p in v sex, unprotected sex, forced orgasm, light bondage, use of restraints, fully clothed sex, pet names, size kink, praise, whiskey big dick truther word count : 2.3k a/n : first new fic post on the new blog!!! I had so much fun with this thank you so much to the person who requested it !! one of my google forms anon requests was for anything whiskey!! (I put the request at the end) this was the direction I went in >:) this was meant to be a drabble but I got carried away immediately. enjoy!! (this was edited super fast bc i'm tired after work lmao, so apologies for any mistakes)
It was a stupid deal. 
And you never should have made it. 
Of course it’s a little late for that now, when he’s already tying your hands behind your back with his ridiculous flask belt. 
“This wasn’t a part of the original agreement.” You grumble as he pulls the leather tight. That smug smile on his face. 
“You said, anyway I wanted it. This is how I want it.” He leans back against the headboard to admire his work. His eyes focused on the way your chest pushes out now with your arms forced behind you until you cough to get his attention. He takes his time before letting his eyes crawl back up to your face, still grinning ear to ear. 
“Can we just get this over with?” You groan. 
“Oh come on, gorgeous.” He’s loosening his tie, his smile never falters. “I already told you we don’t have to do this. I’ve offered you several outs and you keep turning them down. Besides,” He flashes his teeth at you in a toothy grin. “it’s no fun for me if you don’t want it.” 
That’s exactly what he’d said when you’d made this deal a week ago. 
“I think I want your hat.” You said rather confidently. The two of you had a long standing rivalry. You were placing bets nearly every week at this point. The winner was whoever had the most successful missions. It had started off simple. The loser has to take the other out to dinner, or pay for drinks after a night out. 
After a few months of that you’d gone out with Whiskey more times then you’d gone on any dates. 
Then you decided to raise the stakes. 
The other person's paycheck that week, a piece of tech the other had, at one point your mothers phone number was on the line. (Thankfully that week you had won.)
This week you were feeling lucky. So you pointed at his cowboy hat, he was never seen without. 
“If I win I want your hat.” You cock your head to the side, smirking. 
“You have a hat already.” He was typing up a mission report, you had come in as you always did on Monday mornings. 
“Nice observation agent, how’d you figure that out?” You took a pen from the mug on his desk, rapidly clicking it in an attempt to get under his skin. “That doesn’t change my mind, I don’t want my hat. I want yours.”
He sighs in irritation, taking the pen from you and moving the mug to the other side of his computer. 
“And if you win you can have mine.” You flick the rin of his hat as you say it and he finally turns to glare at you. 
“I don’t want your hat, I already have a hat.” 
“Someone’s in a bad mood today.” You whisper theatrically as he turns back to his work. 
“I’ve got a lot of paperwork to get through darlin’ so let’s hurry this up.” 
“I already told you. I want your hat, if you don’t want mine then pick something else.” 
He turns in his desk chair completely to face you now. Annoyance visible on his face. 
“If I win, then you wear my hat.” As he speaks he cracks the first smile you’ve seen on him all morning. 
“You aren’t making any sense, are you still waking up? Do you want me to go get you some coffee?” You laugh but he leans forward. Even though you were up on the desk and he was in his chair he was still nearly face to face with you. 
“Darlin’ you can be so cute sometimes.” You have no idea what he means but his voice has a condescending tone that makes you scowl. 
“Stop being coy and just clarify.” His first signs of a smile turn into a full blown grin. 
“Wear the hat, ride the cowboy.” He whispers, you’re about to slap him for making such a crass joke but he looks completely serious. 
“That’s not funny. What do you really want?” You pray he doesn’t see the goosebumps on your arms at his words, you spend so much time with him yet he’s never made a pass at you. You’ve watched him hit on countless women these last few months but he’s never turned his attention towards you quite like this. 
“I told you. You win, you get my hat. I win, you wear it.” He has to be messing with you. You want to believe that he’s just trying to push your buttons but you know purely based on the way he looks at you that he couldn’t be more serious. 
It’s an insane offer. But it’s not like you haven’t thought about it. Who wouldn’t be curious about what he must whisper to get women to come home with him, what he must promise them. 
Stop. You can’t seriously be considering this. 
“Don’t be ridiculous. Obviously I’m not doing that.” You get up to leave. Embarrassed by the entire situation. 
“You win, you get my hat and the Bronco. I win, you wear the hat.” You’re already walking out when he says it and you stumble a bit before turning back to stare at him slack jawed. 
“You’d give me your car?” The disbelief in your tone is palpable. 
“If you won.”
And you just couldn’t say no. It was too good of an offer. 
So you set up ground rules. 
You wanted your clothes to stay on, at least as much as possible for the situation. Which he agreed to, so long as the two of you did it “how ever he wanted.” You didn’t realize until much later what that entailed. And of course there was the fact that he wanted you to enjoy it. An odd request all things considered, but he said it was important to him that you had a good time. 
“It's no fun for me if you don’t want it.” 
He had insisted that if you weren’t into it that he would stop, especially if he thought you were faking it. 
Once everything was decided the two of you shook hands. 
And then, by some cruel trick of fate, you had fumbled not one, not two, not even three, but all of your missions that week. A feat that has never happened to you in the entire history of your employment with Statesman. 
So that’s how you ended up like this. 
Fully clothed other than your discarded panties, straddling your most annoying coworker, who’s sitting underneath you, dressed the same as always except his pants are unzipped, with his belt around your wrists. 
“Just let me know when you’re ready darlin’, take your time. I can wait all night, I've got nothing else planned.” 
You could tell him no. You should. You just don't want to.
The second you did he would take the belt off your wrists, hand you your panties (the ones you pretended you didn’t see him shove in his pocket when you threw them on the bed,) and send you on your way. And he’d do it all with a smile. 
Of course you can’t let that happen, that would just mean that he’s won, again. 
He wouldn’t even tell anyone, not that anyone knew about the deal to begin with. But he’d never tease you for bailing, he’d just make you live with the knowledge that you bit off more than you could chew. 
And worst of all, if you had won, you know for a fact that he would have handed over the keys to his car with zero hesitation. 
So you roll your eyes and nod. 
He clicks his tongue, leaning forward, his hands rub your thighs, pushing your skirt up further. 
“Tell me you want it sweetheart.” He taunts, making you sigh loudly. 
It’s not that you don’t want it. God knows you want it. You crave it. But you can’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that.
“I want it.” You say, almost comically emotionless which has him frowning, sitting up straighter. 
“Let’s just call it. You clearly don’t, and I’m not interested in an unenthusiastic partner.” He begins to lift you off of his hips but you push against him, properly sitting yourself in his lap. 
“Give me a second, Jesus. I’m not even warmed up, just- I need a minute. We’re doing this.” There’s a determination in your voice that stops his efforts.
There are a few seconds of silence before he speaks again. 
“Do you want me to… warm you up?” It’s the first time he’s dropped the cocky facade since you started this ordeal. 
“No. I think I’m okay. Let’s do this.” You nod a few times, almost like you’re hyping yourself up. The two of you hadn’t factored in a lot of the logistical details of this deal, more specifically foreplay. 
As he pulls himself out of his jeans you’re starting to wish that you had. He isn’t even completely hard yet and you aren’t entirely sure how you’re going to take all of it. 
He unceremoniously spits into his hand before gripping himself at the base, steadily stroking himself. 
It’s like he’s a porn star and you’ve got front row seats to a private show. 
You’re close enough that when he leans forward, softly grunting, his face brushes against yours. His cock becoming fully erect in his hand, you hope he doesn’t hear you gulp. 
As he jerks himself off, his free hand reaches up, removing his hat before placing it onto your head. It’s a little too big for you so it tilts to one side. He gives you a lopsided grin before picking up his pace. You watch with wide eyes. 
He’s too big. 
In every way possible. 
He’s too long, he’s too thick, he’s simply too much. 
And you can’t tell him that. He’s smug enough as is, if you say “actually nevermind. you’re dick’s too big I couldn’t possibly fuck you.” he’ll be even more insufferable than he already is. But much to your chagrin he already knows what you’re thinking. 
“You still sure you don’t want me to warm you up?” His nerves are clearly gone as he chuckles before hissing through his teeth. His thumb brushes over his pink, weeping tip. 
“I’m fine. Ready when you are.” Not true. 
“Maybe I could free your wrists. You can do it yourself if you don’t want me to do it.” He’s reaching behind you and you once again halt his efforts. 
“No. We’re doing this your way.” 
You’re certainly overestimating your abilities, but he doesn’t need to know that. 
You scoot forward in his lap until his cock is resting between your thighs. You sit up on your knees and he lines himself up at your entrance. 
“Last chance to back out, sugar.” With that final taunt from him you sink down onto him without warning. Barely taking more than an inch before you drop your chin to your chest so he can’t see your face as he simultaneously leans back to rest against the headboard once more. 
It feels like he’s splitting you in half. 
His hands return to your thighs. His palms splayed against you as his thumbs rub comforting circles against your flesh. 
The sting is all you can think of but buried beneath it all is a heat that threatens to consume you. 
You lift your head to look at him. He’s lost a bit of his bravado as he runs his fingers through his hair. You don’t give him (or yourself to be fair) a chance to adjust. You have a desperate need to watch him unravel despite the ache between your legs. 
You take a deep breath before you take nearly half of him in one rock of your hips. 
The stretch is unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, the heat in your stomach is bubbling over as you let out a moan you’ve never heard from yourself before. His grip on your thighs is tight enough now that you’re certain you’ll have to wear a longer skirt tomorrow. 
“Christ darlin’.” He stutters out, his eyes are squeezed shut and you couldn’t be more proud. 
“Is this enthusiastic enough for you?” You manage to grunt out between your small gasps. 
He mumbles something that sounds like a yes.
You have to wait longer this time before moving again, you wait until the pain eases itself away and is replaced with that heat you’ve been pursuing. Only then do you try taking more of him, you don’t manage all of it but you take most of him after a bit of effort. The entire time his eyes are trained on you, a look of admiration on his face. 
“You are something else, gorgeous.” He whispers.
His low drawl shoots straight to your core and god you’re sure he knows it. He whimpers when your walls clench around him.
You haven’t even started properly riding him and you’re close. 
The way he fills you has you seeing stars. You would love to try and banter with him right now, tease him, but you’re too far gone. Too focused on the way his tongue pokes out to wet his lips as he lets out a soft whine before squeezing your hips.
“Let me touch you, please.” He mutters breathlessly.
You aren’t one to deny good southern manners. 
You give him a nod and he wastes no time as he rubs your clit with the pads of his fingers frantically, like he’s trying to make you cum as fast as possible. You’re confused as to why for only a moment because your climax approaches so rapidly it nearly knocks the wind out of you. Your hips stutter as you sit, finally fully impaled on his length, in an instant your vision is a searing hot white. His hat tilts forward on your head, briefly covering your eyes. You’re left breathless in his lap, when you come down from your high he’s grinning at you.
“I win again darlin’.” 
You groan as you recall the conversation you’d had right before he had tied your hands behind your back. 
“If I finish first you can have my hat, if you do, then I get to finish inside you.” 
“Absolutely not.”
“If I finish first you can have the Bronco.”
“...Fine.”
a/n : requester ily, thank youuu
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heyitsme1040 · 1 year
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Connected Through Music [s.r]
summary : Steve takes back the hoodie he'd lent you so he can go to the store. When he gets home, he realizes that you forgot something in his pocket and finds your mp3 player. Out of curiosity, Steve looks through your music and finds a playlist titled with his name.
pairings : Steve Rogers/Reader
warnings : None. This is just purely self-indulgent fluff. The nickname sweetheart is used. There's no use of Y/N, pronouns, or descriptors of the reader. If I did miss anything that should be a warning, please let me know.
word count : 1,600
AO3 (x)
a/n : I've been editing a lot of works in progress the past few months. I keep thinking that they aren't long enough to justify being posted, and have come to the realization they're just fine. Instead of stressing myself out with writing these, I need to enjoy writing them again.
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“Sweetheart,” Steve called out from your shared room. “Do you need anything from the store? I’m gonna head out soon.”
“Would you mind grabbing me a new pair of earbuds? I don’t like the wireless ones Tony handed out, and my wired ones only work in a certain position,” you replied while walking out of the bathroom. 
“No problem. Also, I’m taking this back,” the corners of his mouth turned up while he grabbed the hoodie he’d lent you weeks ago that you kept. 
“What? No, don’t steal my hoodie!” You whined.
“Actually, it’s my hoodie,” he chuckled. “I lent you it, and it magically disappeared. I’m merely taking it back.”
You pouted while he pulled the hoodie over his head. As soon as his head reappeared, his eyes softened at the look on your face. He turned to his closet and rummaged around before pulling out a red hoodie.
“Here,” he held the hoodie out to you, “you can steal this one for a while. This one still smells like me.”
You beamed up at him as you took the clothing in your arms and buried your face in it. Inhaling deeply you smelt sandalwood and the ocean. Steve was right, it smelled better to you than the other one had. You were quick to pull it on, loving how soft it felt.
“See? Now we both have a hoodie that smells like the other,” Steve wrapped his arms around you and tucked you into his chest. 
You kissed over where you felt his steady heart beat. You quietly groaned as the alarm on your phone went off. With one final squeeze, you made your way out of Steve’s warm embrace.
“I’ve got to go,” you mumbled. “Nat and Wanda wanted me to meet them in the garage so we could go to the mall.”
“Alright lovely. I hope you three have fun,” Steve kissed your forehead. “There’s supposed to be a new bookstore that opened up not too long ago. I meant to tell you when I found out, but I know you’ll want to look around.”
“Thanks, Steve,” you stood on your toes and kissed his cheek. “Be safe at the store.”
“I promise.” 
Steve watched as you grabbed your purse and made your way out of the apartment. He changed out of the sweatpants he was wearing and tugged on a pair of jeans. Quickly typing what you asked for from the store onto his phone, he did one final walk through the apartment seeing if there was anything he’d forgotten to add onto the list. Satisfied that everything was written down, he slipped his shoes on and grabbed his wallet and keys. 
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Finally done picking up the things the two of you needed, Steve slipped his wallet into the pocket of his hoodie and made his way back to the Jeep. Putting the bags in the back and returning his cart Steve began the drive back to the compound. He turned up the radio, listening to whatever station you’d left if on last. Instinctively, he looked to the passenger seat only to find you weren’t there beside him. Steve was grateful you left the radio on your favorite station so he wasn’t entirely without you. 
As he pulled up to the security gate, and showed his S.H.I.E.L.D. badge to go through he let his mind wander to you. He hoped you were able to enjoy yourself at the mall. He couldn’t wait to hear about what you got and did. 
It doesn’t take long to have everything put away. Steve makes sure to place your earbuds on top of your laptop before putting his wallet on the nightstand. When his hand slips into the pocket, he’s met with the feeling of worn leather and cool metal. He puts his wallet down, then reaches back in to see what else was in his pocket. Wrapping his fingers gently around the slender metal object, he pulls out your mp3 player. Your earbuds are wrapped haphazardly around the light blue object, wire exposed in sections. He shook his head at the state of your earbuds, chuckling at how you’d described them earlier compared to what he was seeing. He carefully unwrapped the wire from your beloved device and threw them away. 
He was surprised that you’d forgotten your music player in his hoodie, you usually make sure it was with you. Sure, you had music on your phone, but you preferred your music player. When missions required everyone to shut off their phone and go dark for a period of time, you would still have your music. Letting his curiosity get the best of him, he powered on the device to see what songs you’ve been listening to recently. 
He smoothly navigates from all of your albums to the playlists you’ve made. He’s shocked that as he scrolls past your driving playlist, your training playlist, and your sleep playlist that he suddenly sees one named after himself. He taps the playlist and feels his chest warm at the playlist. It’s a mixture of songs he’d told you he liked before the war, songs he’d said he liked that you showed him, and songs that just reminded you of him. He walked into your shared living room and connected the mp3 player to the speakers in the room and pressed play. 
As the music began to quietly drift its way through your shared home, Steve heard you opening the door. 
“Babe! I’m home,” you called out in a huff.
Steve made his way to your voice, finding you in the kitchen. You had some bags on the counter and were putting something in the fridge. Steve stepped up behind you and wrapped his arms around you. You quickly leaned back into his chest while closing the fridge. 
“How was the store?” You asked, fully relaxing into his hold.
“It was fine. Did you have a good time?” Steve swayed the two of you to the music he could still hear from the other room.
You nodded, turning to face him, “I did, but I’d rather be home with you.”
Steve hummed his agreement while leaning down to capture your lips with his own. “I missed you,too. C’mon I want to hear all about your shopping adventures.”
“I found the bookstore you mentioned. It’s a small one, but really nice. We mainly walked through the stores browsing. I did pick up a few clothes, and a new pair of trainers for the gym. For the most part we just chatted while we got lunch,” you shrugged. “What about you?”
“The store wasn’t as busy as I expected it to be. I picked up what we needed and found some stuff to make my mom’s casserole one night this week. I took our Jeep instead of my bike since we needed some more things than usual, then I came home and put everything away. And when I got home you know what I found?” 
“What?” You murmur against his lips, resting your foreheads together.
“You forgot your music player in my hoodie,” he began. “And I couldn’t help but chuckle at how worn your earbuds were. So I got rid of them, after I put your new ones on your laptop. I was curious what you were listening to so I looked. And I happened to find a particular playlist named after me.”
You couldn’t fight the blush that dusted your cheeks, burying your face into his neck. Steve picked you up and set you on the counter. Gently prying your face away from him, he stood between your legs making your eyes meet his. 
“Don’t be embarrassed Sweetheart,” he cupped your cheek. “It was sweet. The thought of you being reminded of me while listening to music, you humming along to these songs when I can’t be around. It’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. I know you made it for yourself, but just finding out that I’m on your mind as often as you’re on mine melts my heart. When I was driving back the radio was on that station you love, and I looked over expecting to see you there. You weren’t, but it felt like you were,” you leaned into his palm at the touching words. “How’d I get so lucky to have you in my life?”
You shook your head while letting a sheepish smile grace your lips, “Well if that’s the case I guess it’s a good thing I got you a surprise.” 
“Sweetheart, you didn’t have–”
“I know, but I wanted to. I saw it and thought it’d be a good idea for you, too,” you gesture to one of the bags. 
Steve plucks it up from the counter and hands it to you. You place one hand over his eyes, making him laugh, and use the other to pull out the small box. You pull your hand away, pleased to see he had them closed. You tugged his hand up and set the box into his hold. 
“Okay, open!” You gleefully prompt him. 
Steve’s eyes land on the box, and quickly recognizes a silver version of the mp3 player he’d found in his pocket earlier. “Baby, you didn’t have to. Seriously. Thank you, so much,” he tenderly kissed your lips. 
“We can both enjoy our music, whenever we want to. Stay connected through it when the other isn’t able to be here,” you gently promised, holding his hand.
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Author's Note : Reblogs are appreciated, likes are welcome, and if you want to read more of my fics then maybe follow.
©heyitsme1040 If you find this post on any platform under a username different than heyitsme1040 it is not their work.
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*submits this and passes out*
HERE IS THE FIRST HALF OF THE FIC THAT HAS TAKEN OVER EVERY LAST ONE OF MY LIFE OBLIGATIONS FOR THE PAST WEEK AND A HALF
I STG I DID NOT MEAN TO GET THIS INVESTED BUT
@ckhalloween22 spoopy season Elimetri for the “monstrous transformations” prompt, as promised!!! Chapter 2 will hopefully be up later this week!
Fun fact: I actually made that moodboard ages ago (like...early 2021??? Purple Hawk did not even exist yet :O) and just never got around to posting it. Mainly because I was planning on posting this long list of vampire/werewolf headcanons to go with it, and I just...was too lazy to, RIP. But now there’s a whole-ass fic to go with it, so it seemed like a good time to post it XD
Spoilers ig that there are in fact werewolves in Chapter 2 lmao
Hopefully this will be on AO3 soon!!! Just gotta like. Recover from binge-writing this entire 14k-word fic in a few days, whoops. Y’all this was originally gonna be a one-shot and then it turned into a MONSTER (no pun intended) and now it’s a two-shot XD
Anyways enjoy the exact kinda angsty nonsense that I have been using as Daydream Scenarios for months now to entertain myself before I go to sleep. I never thought they would leave my head, but here we are.
ALSO @lizziefanconfessions I vaguely remember you saying you liked my vampire!Elimetri content, so. Come get fed!!! Highkey went all out with this one XD
EDIT: Chapter 2 is HERE!
Nocturnal Chapter 1 - Before Daybreak
There’s a strange smell coming from the hallway.
Demetri clutches at the lavish bedsheets. He should feel spoiled, but he knows it’s just another taunt.
He’s willing to bet Terry Silver has 15 identical guestrooms, all lavishly furnished. Each costing maybe 3 thousand dollars—or more.
A reminder that Terry Silver has enough money to do whatever the hell he wants. Even kidnap teenagers. Even…
Demetri’s hand drifts to the sores on his neck. They still hurt like a bitch.
He tastes the air again. There’s so much more than there used to be, and it’s unnerving. Lacquer. Candle wax. Velvet. Carpet cleaner. Marble. Stonework.
The one in the hallway is new, he can tell that much. Different enough from the olfactory default he’s gotten used to. Now if he could just tell what—
He chokes on his breath.
It’s Eli.
He’s not sure how he knows. Perhaps he’s always been able to recognize it, on a subconscious level. But every scrap of his fucked-up body is suddenly certain.
Eli, leave! Just fucking leave! Demetri wants to scream into his bedsheets.
When he screamed at Silver that his friends would come for him, he was bluffing. Always bluffing. He didn’t want any of them anywhere near this place, Eli least of all.
And yet here he was, strolling in on some convoluted rescue mission and about to get himself killed. Or…worse.
Eli’s scent draws closer. Demetri wants to shout a warning, tell him to get out of here…but with dear old Terry’s cronies and guards and henchmen behind every decorative statue, calling attention to his best friend’s presence would be about the most morally reprehensible thing he could do.
A discordant clicking fills the room, and Demetri realizes Eli must be fiddling with the electronic padlock.
It won’t take long to hack. Unfortunately.
The door swings open, and Demetri forgets how much he isn’t supposed to want this.
Eli’s face is glistening with sweat, scar flaring up red the way it sometimes does when he’s out of breath. Long hair—down, undyed—is plastered to his skin.
He must not have wanted to stand out. He must have insisted on being the clandestine part of the operation.
The one who found Demetri.
He drinks in everything about Eli Moskowitz—wiry limbs, track pants, gray jacket, blue eyes, panicked face. All things Demetri was convinced he’d never see again.
“Demetri.”
Eli whispers his name. A tactical maneuver, meant not to alert any hostile presences nearby.
Nonetheless, Demetri gets the feeling Eli wants to shout.
“I—”
There are too many things he wants to say. I missed you. You shouldn’t be here. I just want to hold you. Get the fuck out. I need you. You’re in danger.
“You need to leave,” he manages. He sounds raspy, unsure, and probably desperate. Fucking pathetic.
“Not…without you?” Eli’s brow furrows in confusion. “I’m rescuing you, asshole.”
Demetri shakes his head, eyes wild. “No—no, you have to stay away from me. You have to. You—”
Eli’s scent is overwhelming now. Something vaguely bringing to mind Mrs. Moskowitz pulling fresh-baked hamantaschen out of the oven.
Tantalizing.
And Demetri wants it. All of it.
“You’re not making any fucking sense!” Eli is scowling, and Demetri shoves the hunger down.
He slides off the bed, starting to back toward the wall. “He did something to me,” he gasps out. “Silver. I don’t know what, but now I want—there’s a part of me that wants—”
There’s a part of me that wants to kill you.
He can’t say it out loud. It wouldn’t be his first thought of Eli that never makes it into the spoken world.
“Demetri.” Eli slowly moves toward him, as though approaching a scared wild animal. Not that far off the mark, really. “What happened to you? What did he do?”
Demetri’s back hits the wall. He realizes with a prick of dread that there’s no way to run to the door without Eli intercepting him.
“Please.” His voice is barely a whisper. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Whatever it is.” Eli is as calm as ever—a jarring change from his usual demeanor. “We can figure it out. Just let me get you out of here.”
He shakes his head. “I can’t. I can’t go. Something’s wrong with me. I don’t—I don’t know what I’ll do out there.”
Eli steps closer. Demetri’s about to be cornered.
He knows he’s sick in the head, for letting this happen when he knows the risk.
Eli’s blood could be on his hands. A beautifully, terribly layered statement.
“I’m not leaving until you tell me what he did to you.” Eli’s voice hardens.
Panic sears through him, and he feels like he’s on the verge of collapse. The hunger is hissing at him to pounce, to slice a hole in Eli’s neck…
Shut the fuck up.
Not Eli Moskowitz. He’ll tear through the rest of humanity if he has to, leave a trail of carnage wherever he goes…but he’ll be damned if he ever lays a hand on Eli again.
“Hey.”
Eli doesn’t break Demetri’s gaze. Another step. Demetri holds his breath.
“You think I’m afraid of you?”
Eli doesn’t sound scornful or dismissive when he says it. Not like the way Demetri spat it out in the comic book store, all those months ago.
He only seems worried.
“You should be,” Demetri says. “I’m not the same. I’m not who you remember, I’m just…” He struggles for an appropriate metaphor.
“I’m just corrupted data.”
“That’s not true.” Eli smiles. “I come in here, and not 10 seconds later you’re freaking out and fussing over me doing some reckless shit you’re not cool with. That’s exactly who I remember.”
Slender fingers wrap around Demetri’s wrist, and he gasps.
Eli’s hand is warm. Not in a burning way, but…a cozy way, almost. Like coming inside on a rainy winter day.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” Eli says cheekily. “You have a mental breakdown every time your mom puts too much coriander in the shawarma. One time you stepped on Heracles’s tail and prepared an apology soliloquy. Like, ooooh, I am quivering in terror.”
Demetri laughs, and Eli looks at him with a fondness that makes him ache with longing.
It’s then something clicks.
Eli’s close enough to see Demetri’s teeth, now honed to unflattering points. He’s felt Demetri’s skin, which now looks and feels like a bedsheet left by an air conditioner.
He has to know by now what’s going on.
Why is Eli still here? He’s smart enough to run. At least Demetri hopes so.
Eli’s hand slides down his wrist, slowly weaving their fingers together. It’s the type of soft gentleness Demetri hasn’t experienced for a long time.
And it’s enough to make him shatter.
He crumples into Eli and erupts in sobs. His hands knot into gray fabric, clinging to it like it’s the only thing left in the world.
Strong arms wrap around his back, hands tracing circles along his spine. He almost wants to laugh at the irony.
It’s always been Eli who needs this. When the panic attacks or the meltdowns hit, or when the world just gets to be too much, Demetri holds him until he feels safe again.
Now Demetri’s on the inside of it all, frantically trying to stabilize.
“Shhhh. It’s okay.” Eli’s voice slides out in a soothing whisper. “I’m here. I’ve got you.”
Demetri shakes, and Eli holds him tighter. Everything about him is warm and steady and secure, and the anxiety and sheer terror of the last several days finally starts to drain away.
“Please let me take you home.”
Demetri knows he shouldn’t say yes. He nods anyway.
***
“So he held you down and…” Eli trails off.
“Drank me.” Demetri shudders at the memory. “Bit a hole in my neck and started gulping down my bodily fluids like they were Mr. Pibbs.”
“Ew.” Eli scowls at him. “Bodily fluids? Just say your blood, dude. I don’t need that mental image.”
Demetri scoffs, bumping Eli’s shoulder. “Still gross, either way.”
“So…what then?”
He freezes, going rigid as the image of snakelike red eyes boring into him comes trickling back. “He, um…”
A thin arm snakes around his neck, and Demetri feels Eli’s hand on his shoulder. A couple quick squeezes, and Demetri can breathe again.
“I guess I was kind of out of it by the end. My head felt all fuzzy. I remember someone dragged me into that room, and then I started feeling…hungry. And I could smell everything.” He turns, smiling weakly. “I could even smell you coming to get me.”
Eli smirks. “Do I smell good?”
“You smell amazing.” He nudges his friend’s side. “An absolute snack.”
Demetri leans into Eli as he laughs. His hand roams up his chest, clutching at the hand still squeezing his shoulder.
“‘Metri.” Fingertips brush against his neck, and he winces at the sudden pricks of pain. “Do they still hurt?”
He sighs. “Not as much as they did, but…yeah.”
“I can get a cream or something. My mom’s got a whole cabinet full of that shit.”
“I don’t know if it’ll work on undead skin, but I guess it’s worth a try.”
Eli walks out of the room, and Demetri is alone with the moonlight streaming through the window. He reclines on Eli’s bed, letting out a long breath.
It’s 3 am now. At least a few more hours before Demetri has to figure out what the fuck he’s going to do about his mom and Heracles. About his Tech Town shifts. About Miguel and Sam and Chris and Nate and Mr. LaRusso and everyone else who he can’t go near ever again.
That was supposed to be Eli too, but he was a stubborn fucker. Getting a redwood tree to budge would be easier.
He stretches out his arms, and his hand hits something plush. He turns, smiling.
He didn’t notice when he first came in, but Raptor Reynaldo, the stuffed hawk he won for Eli at a carnival when they were 7, is perched on his best friend’s pillow. Demetri spent an hour getting the damn bird out of a claw machine, and he’s been a scowling Eli Moskowitz bedroom presence ever since. Eli got his mom to sew a stupid red mohawk onto Raptor Reynaldo’s head during junior year, and he still hasn’t gotten around to taking it off.
Edgy idiot.
Despite himself, Demetri grabs the bird and pulls him in. It’s nice to have something soft to squeeze. Gets some of the tension out, at least.
Besides, maybe Raptor Reynaldo’s ridiculous new hairdo will pop off and go flying across the room. Perhaps into the garbage.
“Demetri.” A tired voice from the doorway. “Please don’t tell me you added Raptor Reynaldo to your legion of the undead.”
“Mmmm. I tried.” Demetri smirks. “Little hard to suck cotton stuffing, though.”
The bed compresses next to him. “Okay, sit up. I need to put this on.” Groaning, he reluctantly complies.
As Eli coats his fingers in some type of unpronounceable soothing lotion, he looks at Demetri with narrowed eyes. “Are you…are you going to let go of Raptor Reynaldo?”
Demetri scoffs. “Make me.”
Soft fingers brush his neck, and his eyes slip closed. They rub gentle spirals and curls, careful to never press too hard.
Demetri has no earthly idea whether the gel Eli picked is actually helping or not, but his best friend has a warmth that he could drink in forever.
His stomach tightens, arms tensing around the plush hawk. He grabs at his shirt and squeezes, trying to banish the thought of how badly he suddenly wants to grab Eli.
Get the fuck out of my head.
He’d sooner run full-speed into the sunrise than hurt Eli again.
“See if that helps.” Eli’s fingers slip away, and Demetri wilts in disappointment. “You want me to kiss your booboo better?”
“Oh my god, Eli.” The taller boy snorts out a laugh. “What am I, five and a half?”
“You sound pretty offended for someone cuddling a stuffed animal.”
“How could you!” Demetri does his best to sound aghast. “Raptor Reynaldo understands me, Eli.”
“I’m sure he does.”
Before Demetri can process it, Eli is swooping in and pressing warm lips to his bitemarks. The fragility he felt earlier comes rushing back.
It’s almost cruel, he thinks, Eli taunting him with what he can never have now. Not that Eli even realizes he’s doing it.
Tears threaten to leak out of him again. He gathers his resolve and holds them back.
Not twice in one night. He needs to have some standards.
“Fuck.” He leans his head on Eli’s shoulder. He feels he’s allowed that sort of small pleasure, at least. “What do I even do?”
“About…?”
“About everything. What the hell do I tell my mom?! ‘Oh, hey, sorry, I need to drop out of high school, can’t go to college, and have to work graveyard shifts at Ralph’s for the rest of my life?!’ And I know fucking Silver’s up to something, too. Betting he bribes the Hunter’s Guild not to go after him. And now he can tell all his buddies in there that there’s a new vampire on the loose. Oh, boy!”
“Demetri,” Eli murmurs into his hair. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you ever again. You know that, right?”
The scent of Eli—so torturously close—wraps around him. Something dark roils up inside Demetri, like a snake making its way through his intestines.
“I shouldn’t even be here with you.”
His voice is breaking again. Humiliating.
What’s even left to break?
“Says who?” Eli demands.
“Uh, says every piece of vampire lore since the dawn of time? I’m a resurrected corpse with no soul.”
“Like you would ever be cool enough to pull off the ‘resurrected corpse with no soul’ descriptor. You’re like…an anxious zombie with less skin falling off.”
Demetri laughs, and some of the stones in his stomach lift. “Then it makes even less sense why you’d want me around. You can’t get into an Ivy League if I eat your brain, Eli.” He jabs at Eli’s temple, and the shorter boy scoffs.
“Oh, please. You’d spend so much time worrying about eating my brain that you’d never get around to actually doing it.”
If he was wondering before, he’s sure now. Eli has no intention of letting him go.
In better circumstances, he’d be flattered. Ecstatic, even. But as of this moment…
If he wants to run away—if he wants to put as much distance between himself and Eli Moskowitz as possible—he’ll have to do it by himself. If he wants to keep Eli safe, there’s no way in hell Eli’s going to help with it.
Eli’s loyal. He’s stubborn. He’s reckless. He’s an utter pain in the ass.
And when Demetri loses him again, it’s going to gut him a thousand times harder than the last time.
He has to leave. He knows this. Anything less would make him deplorable.
The embodiment of the very monster he’s turned into.
After all, who is he to put his own happiness above Eli’s safety?
“I can get the spare blanket,” Eli says. “You can stay here tonight. We’ll…I don’t know, we’ll watch the Star Wars prequels and make fun of them. Get your mind off shit for a while.”
He uncurls himself from Demetri. As he stands up, Demetri grabs his wrist, pulling him back.
If he doesn’t say something now, he might never get the chance.
“I love you.”
Eli turns, eyes bright with shock. “You what?”
“I love you.” His voice trembles as he repeats it. “And every second, I’m so fucking scared that I’m going to lose my grip on this…thing Sensei Targaryen made me into, and I’m going to hurt you. Or kill you, I don’t know. And it’s destroying me.”
A moment of silence. Demetri feels like a clogged drainpipe about to burst.
Then Eli steps back and sinks onto the bed beside him. Wiry arms wrap around his neck, and Eli presses their foreheads together.
“You don’t have to be scared,” he whispers. “You won’t hurt me.”
“How do you know?” Demetri’s voice croaks as he says it, and he feels another sob rising in his throat.
“Because I trust you. Well, I mean…”
Hesitation. If Demetri still had a heartbeat, it would stop.
“Not with Raptor Reynaldo’s hair—I see you over there, giving it the stink eye. Basically everything else, though.”
Despite everything, Demetri laughs again. How strange, he thinks, to be the one who needs to be distracted from his misery by stupid jokes. Stranger still that Eli learned the tactic from him.
Warmth fills his stomach. All those years of his inane comedy routine to get them through the hellhole of middle school and high school, and it’s the first thing Eli pulls out when he’s hurting.
Then again, how could it be any other way?
Demetri was always the one who looked like he had it together. Making wisecracks, rattling off Doctor Who fan theories, steering lunchroom conversations toward Dungeon Lord so Eli wouldn’t notice people staring. Eli was the one who broke easily, and Demetri was the one who put him back together. And when Demetri’s own defenses finally did give way…
Well, it’s not like Eli was around to see.
And now Demetri’s fraying apart like the world’s flimsiest pipe cleaner, and the only model Eli has to pull him out of the darkness again is the only one he ever saw. The only one he knew, for years and years and years.
Demetri’s.
Something about the thought soothes him.
“You’re the strongest person I know.” Eli’s voice grows serious again. “You never gave up on me when I gave you every reason to. You were the only one who got all the squabbling rival dojo kids to see any damn sense. You see the best in people even when they treat you like shit. And some pony-tailed fuck isn’t going to bite you one time and make all that go away. I’m not abandoning you.”
“But…Eli, I…”
“We can work with this. I know it sucks balls right now, but you’re going to be okay. I’ll make sure you’re okay.”
His eyes blaze, and Demetri chuckles. “Is that a threat?”
“It might be. Don’t make me follow through. I—I…” Eli chokes on his words. “I won’t let that fucking asshole take you away from me. Not now, not ever. Get used to it.”
Eli takes a breath, and Demetri feels it ripple through his entire body.
“I love you too, Demetri.”
Demetri is still processing this when Eli closes the space between them.
Eli kisses like a hurricane—a whirlwind of ferocity and passion and power, and Demetri’s stomach may as well be swirling right toward the eye. The gales are howling in his ear, and he could swear he’s being lifted off the ground.
He’s not sure if vampires can actually do the bat shapeshifting thing, but if they can, he imagines this is what it feels like. Swooping through cool clouds, wind rushing across his small, lightweight body, starlight shining on his wings, a world of sparkling lights below him and eternal stars above.
It’s the best thing he’s ever felt.
Nonetheless, he holds back. He doesn’t give in to Eli’s vigor all the way.
He’s terrified of how far he might go if he does.
So as Eli kisses him like he’s dissolving, he returns it slower—gentle, steady, slightly tentative. His hand slides up, cupping the side of Eli’s face and rubbing his cheek with a cold thumb.
How funny is it, Demetri thinks, to have their old roles so drastically reversed. He remembers again of when he was the abrasive one and Eli was the timid, fragile one.
There’s a thump, and Demetri pulls away to see a stuffed beak glaring up at them from the floor.
Eli lets out a cry of despair. “No! Raptor Rey!”
“Now you’ve done it.” Demetri shoves Eli’s chest playfully. “Look what you’ve done to our only son.”
Eli sticks his tongue out—a tongue that Demetri now knows tastes very nice. A little bit like the Chinese food leftovers he had for dinner.
“You were the one who dropped him!”
Demetri sighs, leaning off the bed and scooping up the stuffed bird. When he puts Raptor Reynaldo back on Eli’s pillow, he pointedly faces him toward the wall.
“There. We don’t need to soil his innocent eyes.”
Eli snorts. “You’re such a fucking dork.”
“Yeah, but you love me.”
It feels strange to say it. Demetri likes the sound of it though.
He scoots across the covers, wrapping long arms around Eli’s waist. Something giddy rises in his chest, briefly overpowering any of the dark impulses still churning around down there.
“You love me,” he says again.
“That’s what I said.” Eli jabs him in the chest accusingly. “What, did Silver bust up your hearing or something?”
He swats Eli’s hand away and pulls him in, stealing another kiss. “You love me,” he hums against his lips.
“Ugh. Don’t let it get to your head.”
Demetri grins. “You love me.” He lets his voice adopt an annoying singsong cadence, and Eli groans. “You love me, Eli Moskowitz.”
He kisses Eli again, and the other boy leans into it. Demetri’s grin grows so big his face hurts.
They slump onto the bed, Eli sprawled on top of him. His arms lock down on either side of Demetri’s waist, effectively caging him in.
Apparently, Eli’s taking precautions to make sure he can’t dart away like a scared rabbit. He wants Demetri to stay that badly.
The thought is strangely flattering, if frustrating.
“You love me,” Demetri whispers in between kisses. Because it’s true. Because he can. “You love me, you love me, you love me.”
If he hadn’t already risen from an early grave, he’s sure he would have died of shock by now.
They end up a tangled mess of limbs and blankets, Eli’s head under Demetri’s chin. He feels Eli trace his chest with one hand and his arms with the other, and for a moment, everything seems like it’s going to be fine.
Demetri kisses Eli’s hair. “I’m sorry I got bloodstains on your hoodie.”
His tears have blood in them now. It’s such embarrassing edgelord nonsense right out of a middle school scene kid’s poetry. Nonetheless, it’s a sad reality he’ll now have to make do with.
Hopefully in a way that doesn’t involve ruining half of Eli’s closet.
Eli only laughs, taking it in stride. “Oh, that? Please. I have like fifteen others just like it. Went out and bought a shit ton when I stopped wearing polos.”
“That’s just as well. You looked a little dorky.” Demetri kisses his head again. “I miss the sweaters, though. Those were cute.”
Eli snorts. “I can’t wear those around you. Do you know how much of a bitch it is to clean blood out of knitted shit?!”
“Well, then, don’t make me cry. Extra incentive to make sure I’m not sad! That, and. You know.” He snickers. “You love me.”
Eli groans again. “God, shut up. Smug asshole.”
He shuffles against Demetri, turning his head slightly. Moonlight glows off his skin, washing it in a sleek silvery-white.
Demetri’s stomach contracts.
Eli’s exposed neck suddenly looks a little too clean. A little too…unmarred.
He shoves the impulse away. Nonetheless, the reminder worms into him, putting the stones right back in his chest.
“It’s dangerous, you know,” Demetri murmurs. “Being with me. Being around me at all.”
“Mmmm, don’t fucking care.” Eli pushes a hand into Demetri’s hair, gently twirling a strand around his finger. “I stole a venomous snake from a zoo, Demetri. I also backstabbed a literal war criminal who could probably make my death look like an accident. And I may have survived rabies. I can handle danger.”
“This isn’t the same.” Demetri shakes his head. “People will hunt me. Maybe…maybe forever. And if they find out we’re together, they’ll hunt you, too.”
Eli scoffs. “Yeah, I know, genius.”
Demetri looks at the boy wrapped around him. Cozy, comfortable, completely relaxed.
Perhaps putting a tad too much faith into Demetri’s Vampire Hunger Regulation Abilities.
He takes a breath. “I don’t know if I’m going to keep being…me. I could still hurt you. Without…without even meaning to or wanting to or anything.”
Eli has no idea what he’s getting into. Not really.
Demetri at least owes him that out.
“I know.” Eli presses into his chest. “But that’s my decision, isn’t it? You can’t make that for me.”
“Maybe not, but you have to know it’s ill-advised to—”
“You’re not getting rid of me,” Eli cuts him off sharply. “Stop trying.”
“Just…if I get worse…” He rubs gentle circles along Eli’s back. “You need to—”
He can’t finish. He should tell Eli to run, but the words won’t come out.
“We’ll worry about that later.” Eli pulls him closer. “Just…let me try and help you. You shouldn’t have to go through this alone.”
“Okay.” Demetri exhales, fingers brushing through light brown hair. “Okay.”
***
A disgusted shout fills the cool night air as Eli’s arm flies over the boat railing. Two bright spoons plummet from his hand, plopping into the starlit ocean.
His eyes lock on them until they sink out of sight, lip curling.
Demetri nervously taps a finger against the railing. “Is that the last of them?”
Eli turns and walks over to the unzipped silverware pack, lying on the deck a few feet away. He crouches down, peering inside.
Demetri can sense his heartbeat slow down a little as he relaxes. “Yeah. They’re all gone.”
He reclaims his spot next to Demetri, staring out at the inky water with a furrowed brow. Demetri inches closer to him, pressing into his shoulder.
He sighs. “You know, Moon wouldn’t like this shameless environmental degradation you’re causing.”
Eli rolls his eyes. “Silver’s a naturally-occurring metal. It’s fine.”
Demetri pulls his lips into an exaggerated pout. “Oh, Eli, the bottom-dwellers are weeping at your disrespect! What, you want the giant isopods to break their teeth trying to eat metal?!”
“If an isopod breaks all their teeth eating metal, I think it’s like…natural selection. The species’ll manage.”
Eli leans into Demetri’s shoulder, and Demetri feels him tense up.
“I couldn’t let that shit anywhere near you.”
Demetri’s hand inches across the railing, finding the other boy’s. He weaves them together in a fluid movement that has become second nature.
“You know I wouldn’t dissolve in a puff of smoke, right?” he murmurs. “I’d probably just get a nasty burn. A little antiseptic and I’d be right as rain.”
Eli grunts disapprovingly. “No one says that anymore. And do you know for sure you wouldn’t turn into smoke?”
“Well, if silver evaporates us, that would’ve been helpful to know earlier.” He throws an arm around Eli and jostles his shoulder, earning a reluctant chuckle. “Someone could’ve chucked one of those $4000 ladles at good old Terrence when he showed up at Mr. LaRusso’s door. Would’ve solved at least half of our problems.”
Truthfully, Demetri shouldn’t have even known what was going on at the LaRusso residence. He should’ve been gone from their lives weeks ago.
But, of course, his attempts to freeze out the dojo have been a resounding failure.
It was easy enough to have his Tech Town shifts “keep interfering” with daytime practice, but people weren’t about to let him get away with bailing on every single social event. The house parties, the game nights, the pool hangouts…eventually nothing short of working 60 hours a week could account for missing all of them.
And by “people” he means Miguel. It was always Miguel.
Another beautiful spectacle of irony, he thinks. That’s twice Miguel Diaz has nagged him not to quit karate…although he likes to believe his reasons are a little better this time around.
Still, the guy missed his terrible puns more than Demetri was anticipating. So to the nighttime events and get-togethers he went, attached at the hip to Eli and wallowing in the strange melancholy of being surrounded by friends who loved a version of him that didn’t fully exist anymore.
“So let me get this straight.” Eli’s voice brings him out of his thoughts. “Terry Silver just…rings Mr. LaRusso’s doorbell, says he ‘hears he’s having vampire problems,’ hands him a box of antique silverware, and then fucks off?”
Demetri shrugs. “That’s what he told me. Sensei Toxic Waste Scandal loves his little mind games.”
Eli wrinkles his nose. “How did he even carry the box without hurting himself?”
“He has minions, Eli. I’m sure they help haul around all the garlic and stakes and crucifixes and anything else he might need to antagonize his many vampire karate rivals. Guy seems good at making enemies, so I’m betting he has at least 15.”
Although Eli forces a chuckle, it quickly gives way to a concerned frown.
“Did Mr. LaRusso know? About you being…”
“Not before that, no.” Demetri sighs. “But it wasn’t exactly hard for him to put two and two together. Me never being out in the sunlight anymore. Only showing up for movie nights and pizza parties. Not eating many of the snacks. Not using that Pizza Hut garlic dip anymore. Making some excuse to leave if someone got a cut. Not…smiling with my teeth for group photos.”
He winces. Eli clutches his hand a little tighter.
“Word gets around.” Demetri shrugs, trying his best to look indifferent. “The whole dojo knows now. Don’t know why they’re still protecting me, to be honest.”
“Because…they care about you?” Eli knits his brow.
“For now.” He lets out a tired breath. “Wait until I accidentally do something creepy, and someone ‘spills’ the garlic dip. I don’t know. They’re going to figure out I’m more trouble than I’m worth.”
“You’re not.” Demetri feels Eli’s thumb brush against the back of his hand, and his skin flutters.
“Not…” He looks away. “Not according to Silver, I don’t think.”
“What do you mean?”
Eli’s voice is suddenly terse with worry—the exact kind of concern that would be much better spent on the land of the living.
“Don’t you get it?” Demetri turns back, giving him a morose look. “That’s why it was so easy to rescue me. He let you. He figured I’d go crazy eventually and try to eat everyone, and then Mr. LaRusso would remember who swooped in like a knight in karate armor and gave him the very MacGuffin he needed to save the day. You know, the…vampiric Excalibur. Good way to get Mr. L in his debt, I guess.”
“But…Sam’s family’s already pretty rich.” Eli sounds dubious. “Don’t they have their own fine silver?”
“It was probably more a symbolic thing. But I mean, who better to know what kind of silver is actually lethal to vampires than…vampires?”
A silence falls over them. Demetri stares down at the lapping waves below, following the curves in the moonlight.
Eli presses closer to him, and he drinks in the warmth.
“He was wrong, though. You haven’t tried to eat everyone. You haven’t touched anyone.”
His voice is soft, hopeful. Demetri can’t stand to crush it.
But he knows he has to.
“Not yet.”
“Do you need to feed again?” Eli’s tone is casual. “Because you know, Sam and I could just scam another blood bank—”
“And is that okay?!”
It comes out with more ferocity than he intends.
“Probably more okay than draining our friends? Or…random people on the street?”
Demetri looks up to see Eli’s lips slightly apart, the way they always are when he’s genuinely confused.
“But people need that for blood transfusions. Aren’t we like…indirectly killing them or something?!”
Eli snorts. “Yeah, well, you also need it to not die. Why are you any less important?”
“Because I’m a blood-sucking monstrosity with evil dagger teeth?!”
“If you’re trying to sell me on how horribly undeserving of life you are, you should stop using the coolest possible descriptors for yourself.”
Demetri rolls his eyes. “Not my fault you’re turned on by everything even slightly morally-depraved.”
“Hell yeah I am.”
Eli brushes a kiss against his cheek. Demetri smiles at the boat railing, the edges of his unease ebbing away.
“Cheer up.” Eli bumps his shoulder. “Mr. LaRusso’s not an idiot. He wouldn’t have given us that box to get rid of if he thought you were gonna go on a rampage.”
“Hmmm.” He squeezes Eli’s hand, trying to push down the growing worry. “Maybe that’s his mistake.”
“I think the only one here who doesn’t trust you is you.”
And just like that, Eli is giving him the doe eyes again.
Curse this kid’s faith in him. There’s no way he deserves it.
Still, he can’t help but be grateful.
He kisses the side of Eli’s head. “Thank you. I love you.”
Another silence passes over them. Demetri closes his eyes, letting himself hear nothing but the ocean and the wind and feel nothing but Eli’s heartbeat.
Steady. Slow. Relaxed. Unafraid.
It’s one of the only things that can calm him these days.
“Nice of Yas to help us rent this boat,” Eli pipes up after a while. “Must’ve had to really pull some strings to get the guys to give it to us at 2 in the fucking morning.”
“And nice of her to check if the silver’s real, too,” Demetri adds. “Growing up in the most bougie part of Encino has its perks.”
Eli glances behind them, and Demetri follows his gaze.
The boat cabin is lit up, giggling trailing out of the windows and weed smoke wreathing through the cool night air. Whatever Yasmine and Moon are doing, the girls seem to be having a lot more fun than them.
“You wanna go upstairs?” Eli asks.
Demetri smiles. “Read my mind.”
His boyfriend shoves him playfully. “Don’t I always?”
He clicks his tongue. “Goes both ways, love. Didn’t need fabled vampiric mind-scanning abilities to get access to yours, though. Memorized the keycode ages ago.”
For a moment, Eli looks thrown off.
“Can you read minds?”
“Ha! No.” Demetri snorts. “I’ve already got the enhanced strength and speed and rapid tree-climbing thing. They had to give us some nerfs.”
“Oh, yeah. Otherwise I know you’d take over the world.”
Eli ducks out from Demetri’s arm and turns to the boat cabin, pulling his boyfriend along.
“You know…” Demetri plants his feet in the deck, gaze straying toward the empty silverware box. He lets out a long, weary breath.
“That won’t be the last time that happens. People are going to keep trying, Silver and whoever else.”
Eli scoffs. “I knew what I was getting into, Demetri. I’m not stupid.”
“I know, but are you sure you want to—”
“Yes, idiot. For the millionth time. I…” His voice cracks slightly. “I meant what I said, you know. The night you got turned. No one fucking touches you. And if they try…”
His eyes darken, taking on a sheen that Demetri used to dread. The kind of No Mercy look that’s still hardwired into him.
“I’ll end them.”
“Oh, I know.” Demetri chuckles. “If I know you, you’ll do your damndest. But I suppose not everyone has a giant karate trophy to back up that kind of claim.”
“Not a bad weapon, either.” Eli smirks. “All else fails, I can smash them over the head with it.”
“Oh, that would be a sight.”
Eli laughs, and Demetri pulls him in. He plants a lingering kiss before smiling against his lips.
“Have I ever mentioned that I love you?”
Every time he says it, he means it a little more.
***
“It’s a terrible idea, Eli!”
Eli rolls his eyes, pulling Demetri out the back door. “Come on, man. I’ve done the math. If we stay on the west-ish side of your house, the sun won’t touch you.”
“But—”
“You haven’t seen sunlight in...what? 3 months now? That’s depressing.”
“Fine.”
Demetri’s loathe to admit it, but it doesn’t turn out to be a terrible idea.
The sunrise is gorgeous, all rich golds and peachy pinks. It glints off his neighbors’ windows and bathes the street’s murky trees in a soft glow.
Of course, Demetri hides behind Eli the entire time, clinging to his arm with pale, freezing fingers.
“See?” Eli weaves their hands together. They’re intertwined more often than not these days. “Told you I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. Like seeing daytime again?”
A deep yearning stirs inside Demetri. His fingers twitch, suddenly wanting more than anything to poke out of the shadows.
He kisses Eli’s shoulder. “Yeah. Thank you.”
They stand in silence for a while, watching the sky go from light gray to orange-rimmed to blue. The yearning only tightens its grip.
Before the change, he never had a preference for day or night. You could watch TV or play Crucible Control or read comics in either. But now…
He realizes he missed the sunshine. He missed the fluffy cotton clouds that he and Eli used to watch at recess, lying on the grass next to the playground. He missed the sound of birds, as much as he once complained about them waking him up at ungodly hours.
Sharp pain seizes his toes, and he jumps back with a hiss.
“Shit.” Eli’s brow furrows. “You okay?”
He sighs, glancing down at where the house’s shadow has started to rescind. “Yeah, yeah. Just wasn’t paying attention.”
“You want to go inside?”
Demetri shakes his head. “We can spare a few more minutes.”
They back up, sitting against the wall. Demetri drinks in the growing morning, wondering how he convinced himself he was content to never see this again.
“Dude.”
Demetri frowns. “What?”
“Are you crying?”
He notices the wet sensation around his eyes a few moments too late. His entire body burns with embarrassment.
“I…” He does his best to sound nonchalant. “…have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Look at me, Demetri.”
“No. Fuck off.”
He feels Eli’s hand on his cheek and swats it away. “Leave me alone,” he grumbles.
Vampirism is already bad enough without him bawling like a 4-year-old because the sky turned blue. As in the color it had been Demetri’s entire fucking life. This is beyond humiliating.
Eli reaches for him again. He turns away, only for his boyfriend’s other hand to slip from his own and shoot up to catch Demetri’s cheek.
“Hold still, moron. People are gonna freak out if they see you leaking blood out of your eyes. They’ll think it’s some shit from The Exorcist and douse you in salt or something.”
Demetri lets out a defeated sigh, letting Eli brush gentle thumbs across his cheeks. “You’d better not use this as blackmail.”
“First of all, I’ve got better shit for that.” Eli pauses to wipe off his fingers on the grass, creating what will inevitably end up looking like a squirrel crime scene. “Second of all, like.”
He gives Demetri a searching look as he continues to gather up the tiny, blood-filled droplets. “It’s okay to be upset about this, man. It sucks. I mean the teeth are badass and I’m kind of jealous, but yeah, I mean…shit’s hard.”
Demetri hums thoughtfully. “You should bribe your dentist to file your teeth into little fangs. What with all the hair dye and the tattoos, what’s asking your parents for a few more hundred bucks?”
Eli laughs, giving him a look so soft that he’s now at risk of crying more. Absolutely unfair, not to mention counterproductive.
At some point, Eli pauses, hands resting on Demetri’s cheeks and scarred-knuckle thumbs in mid-swipe.
“I’m glad your eyes didn’t change,” he says suddenly.
Demetri blinks at him. “Huh?”
“I thought they’d turn red or yellow or something. But they’re still green.”
“Are they?”
He chuckles. He’d wondered here and there how different he looked now, but it wasn’t as though his house’s mirrors were going to be much help figuring that out.
“Yeah, like…” Eli inspects him through narrowed eyes. “Slight gold-ish tint, but that’s it. Thank god. I’ve always liked your eyes.”
Demetri’s face goes hot. “Can you stop saying cute stuff for like…10 seconds? You’re making me too flustered to function.”
“No chance in hell, asshole.”
They settle back against the house wall, fingers entwined again. The morning continues to crawl in, and Demetri knows they’ll have to go inside soon.
Regardless, he’ll drink up every nanosecond of daylight until the time comes.
Demetri takes a long breath.
“I told my mom.”
“What?” Eli turns, eyes wide. “What happened? What’d she say?”
He chuckles. “She was…surprisingly unsurprised. I guess it checks out, her growing up in Orestiada and all. All the folklore and whatnot was right next door. She just never put a lot of stock in it. Woman of science, as you know.”
He smiles weakly. He never knew his dad, but he imagines he has Ms. Alexopoulos to thank for most of his good traits.
“I kind of had to explain why I wanted to drop out of school and get an online GED,” he adds, grimacing. “And even before that, um…well, I couldn’t hide this forever.”
He pulls up his flannel sleeve to uncover a crisscross of burned skin, seared into his upper arm. Eli winces.
“Shit, right. What did you tell her happened that night, anyways? No way you’d come home roughed up and she wouldn’t throw a fit.”
“Said we got jumped by some Cobra Kais. It’s the standard explanation for being a victim of violence in the Valley these days.”
“You’re lucky she didn’t look too much into it.” Eli traces delicate fingers across his skin, brushing over the branded crucifix. “On your bad luck arm, too.”
His right arm. The one Eli broke what seems like a lifetime ago.
“God.” He laughs. “It really is.”
“So is she…okay with it?” Eli bites his lip, giving Demetri’s bad luck arm a small squeeze. “Not just the crucifix burn, but like…everything.”
“Seems like it.” Demetri chuckles again. “She did a garlic purge as soon as I told her. Said she was actually a little relieved because she was worried her skordalia had been really shitty lately. I mean, I told her she could still eat it, but she was adamant that she intended never to touch a clove of the stuff again.”
“So she didn’t disown you, then.” Eli laughs. “Thank god.”
“Well. It’s not like I came home and told her I want to re-decorate our living room to look like Mrs. Hasapi’s. Now that is a disownable offense.”
Eli snorts. “What even is your mom’s beef with her?”
“Oh, none, really. She just thinks her armchairs look like they were unearthed from the local landfill.”
They both laugh for a while, leaning into each other and taking in the neighborhood coming to life. Eli rests his head on Demetri’s shoulder, letting out a small sigh.
“I looked into some online colleges, by the way. They’re not bad. UMass has a pretty good online CS program.”
Demetri doesn’t allow himself to indulge in Eli’s hopefulness.
“Oh, yeah?” he mutters forlornly. “And what tech company needs night watch guys, may I ask?”
Eli shrugs. “You could do contract work. Just charge people independently to fix their shit. Might be a pain in the ass to get customers at first, but you’d probably make bank eventually.”
Demetri purses his lips, thinking.
“I…guess it’s not a completely unreasonable idea. But you know you don’t have to do all that for me.”
“Yeah, I do.” Eli’s thumb rubs along the back of his hand. “I love you, stupid. And you’re too busy moping and crying blood everywhere to do it yourself.”
He beams.
He should be used to Eli loving him by now, but he doesn’t think he ever will be.
***
So I was joking with some friends in a discord server before S5 dropped that maybe the reason Dem wasn’t in a bunch of the trailer scenes was because he got kidnapped by Terry Silver and/or turned into a vampire and can’t be in direct sunlight and then it just kinda. Became a fic. Against my will. Like I do not at all have the time to write this AND YET.
Also, yes, Demetri did indeed fight off his vampire impulses just by being like “hey fuck off” and then they did. And that’s on the power of gay love <3
I am an evil god who loves writing Demetri angsting and having breakdowns because if the show will not let him McFucking Lose It, then I will <3 <3 Peace and love on earth!!! Anyways, if Eli’s a lil bit more gentle with him than usual here, that’s why. Boy is Going Through It to the highest degree.
Enjoy the abundance of “I love you”s here, because these idiots are not going to get there for several more chapters of the road trip fic XD Kinda my first crack at writing Established Relationship Elimetri, but don’t worry!!! There will be angst and drama aplenty!!! I am putting them through horrors >:3
This goes with this, this, and this!!! Most I was able to work into the actual story except for the last one :P Also Raptor Reynaldo is from this post!!!
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matsur1 · 2 years
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A Kokonoi fanfiction penned by Matsur1
Warnings: A tiny bit of swearing
Word Count: 1.3k
A/n: Not proofread yet so some things may sound stupid, I don't have the time to proof read this yet but I will one day (hopefully) [Edit: this was posted mins ago but I alr proofread it bc I dont wanna embarrass myself- ASDHHSJSS sorry to the early people who read this and read dumb shit teehee pls read it again if you saw the post without this edit:')]
There was this guy at work that you found attractive. His name was Kokonoi. Kokonoi Hajime. He was very kind despite the rumors spreading around the company you both worked in. He was very generous, caring, and funny. Not the “thirsty for money” guy everyone talked about. 
When you were still new, you weren’t yet aware of these rumors about him. He first approached you at lunch break at the very first day of working. “Hey rookie!,” he shouted in the whole office. You flinched, looking at the direction where the shout came from. It was an attractive guy waving his hands at you asking for you to wait for him. He ran towards you and spoke, “Come with me, I’ll treat you lunch just for today.” He lightly smiled.
The whole walk on your way to the cafeteria was silent and awkward but when you both reached the cafeteria and ordered food, he started his introductions and you both started to get to know each other.
After your first day at work, you felt more at ease since you made a friend at work on the very first day. You only had hoped your friendship would last even if it’s just until tomorrow. 
The next day, he again treated you at lunch. He kept insisting and bugging you so, how could you say no? And so, he did that again the next day, the next, the next, and honestly, he did that every single day. But it wasn’t just to you, he also treated rookies on their first days at work. Not every day like you though. You heard tons of whispering about him but you paid it no mind because in your point of view, he was so much more different than what the rumors say. You found it strange but at the same time, you felt a bit of “special treatment. You weren’t complaining though. I mean, who wouldn’t want a lifetime of free lunch, am I right? 
But after a few weeks, you finally had the courage to ask why he was only treating you every single workday to lunch. You both went to a coffee shop near the building you both work in. After he grabbed your coffee from the counter, he walked towards your table and passed your coffee to you. “Thanks,” you told him as he hummed in response. “Koko, would you mind telling me why you treat me lunch every day?” you politely asked. He looked at you in a way as if he’s telling you, ‘Are you seriously asking this?’ and he lightly laughed resting his coffee down on the table. “It’s ‘cause I like you, dummy. Ain’t that obvious?” he grabbed his coffee and drank while you. You paused and blushed. He glanced at you and understood what that face of yours that you were making meant. He laughed so loud it brought you back to earth. “Not in that way, idiot. I platonically like you, that’s why. Besides, you’re the only one sticking by my side even after you heard those rumors about me. And plus, I like someone else” He told you. In embarrassment of assuming it was something else, you avoided that part and focused on the last thing he said. “Oh? Who is this lucky person that Mr. Koko fancies,” you teased him, smirking. “She’s in the hospital,” his tone suddenly lowered down a bit. “Oh,” you had no words to say, nervous that you may have touched a sensitive topic. “But it’s alright, she’s been getting better nowadays,” he continued, bringing back his normal tone. “I see. That’s good to hear.” You smiled in relief. “Sooo, did you already give her your first kiss?” you once again teased him. “Bitch no,” he laughed. “What about you? You already gave it to someone?” he asked you. “No, a first kiss should be saved for someone you truly love… I believe.” You hesitantly spoke, afraid that he’ll laugh at your words. But he just gave you a hum.
After that day, you felt a bit of spark disappear. Perhaps you were a bit… jealous? Disappointed? But that’s not what matters right now. Right now, you have tons of work due 10 pm. 
Months passed by, you and Koko ended up getting more closer each month. You were very happy to have a friend like him. Yeah, just friends though. He would often talk about the girl ever since you touched that topic. You discovered her name was Akane.
“Their house got caught on fire. I rushed in to save her, ended up saving her brother instead. It’s all because that asshole looks like her.” He laughed it off. “Soon, she was brought to the hospital after rescues came. She looked like roasted bread got into coma. But like I said, she’s been getting better nowadays, so the doctor says.” He explained. “I’m so sorry you went through that. You must love her so much. I mean waiting for years, damn, you’re one of a kind.” You complimented him. “Yeah? I promised myself I wouldn’t ever fall in love again unless it was her.” He spoke with such confidence. And talks about Akane happened for many many days. You couldn’t even count the amount of times Koko has brought Akane into a conversation. You had no problems with it though, it’s just, you kinda wished it was you he was talking about that way. But it was no use, he was so in love. Everyone could see it easily once he starts talking about Akane. Plus, you didn’t wanna act so selfish towards a person you knew you absolutely had no chance with. What a lucky girl Akane was. She has a loyal man waiting for her once she wakes up. 
For about a year later, you received news. Kokonoi asked you if he could talk to you after work. You were confused but you thought of it as nothing. Hours passed by and it was finally time to go home. You stretched as soon as you got up from your seat but then you remembered that Koko wanted to talk to you. You both decided to talk at the front of the building. And when you arrived, Koko looked anxious.
“So, what’s up?” you paused, You look anxious, what’s wrong?” you continue. “Well uhm, good news, bad news. Good news coming first.” He spoke. “Drop it now then,” you responded. “Akane woke up a week ago-“ you cut him off and spoke happily, “Oh really??? I’m happy for you! Did you tell her ab-“ he cut you off this time, “Y/N, let me finish please.” He spoke in a tone of... guilt? You quickly changed into your poker face, letting him continue. “Yes, me and Akane talked now. And we decided it was better if I quit this job and start building our life.” He put so much pressure on the word “our” that for a millisecond, you felt sad but you remembered you had to feel happy for them. I mean, a week of talking and they're already talking about building their life? Oh how much trust they have in each other. Your trust was nothing compared to theirs.
“Yeah?? That’s really great!!! I’m seriously happy for you. You both better invite me at your wedding.” You playfully hit him using your elbow and kept on a smile. “Y/N… you don’t have to filter your words you know,” he held your shoulders, making you look at him in the eye. “What do you mean? I’m seriously happy for you. You don’t think I’m that kind of person, do you?” you lightly laughed.  “But-“ you shushed him, “no buts, so is she in your car? You probably shouldn't keep her waiting, Mr. Gentleman.” You grinned. “Yeah,” he took a deep sigh of relief. You gave a wave at the car, in case she was watching you two. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow. But I’ll probably be too busy packing my stuff.” 
“Mhm, I’ll see ya.” You watched as he went off to go to Akane in the car. Taking one last look at you, giving you a smile. Perhaps the last smile he'll ever offer to you. You turned to look away. Suddenly rain started to pour heavily. Did the news say it was going to be rainy today? No. It was really an unfortunate day for you. And that’s when it hit you. Tears started to flood on your cheeks. 
I guess in the midst of your friendship with Koko, he was just trying to find Akane’s shadow in you.
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© Matsuri
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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 10 months
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A few months ago, I watched the new season of Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled, and made several posts about one thing that happened in this one episode. Because it was so weird and it bothered me so much, mainly that no one pointed it out. I didn’t even need anyone to get in trouble, I just needed to know that I wasn’t the only person who had noticed this incredibly obvious weird thing that everyone seemed to think was fine. That thing being someone stealing a story that is well known as a stand-up story by another comedian, and this other comedian is very famous and that story is one of his favourite bits that he told all the time for many years, including telling it on TV and on the radio. So you can’t steal that. Especially not for one minute of attention on a panel show. Aside from the fact that I wouldn’t think Isy Suttie is the kind of person to engage in plagiarism, even if someone were that type of person, I don’t see why they’d steal a well known stand-up story that a famous comedian has told on TV, for one minute of attention on a panel show. Surely that isn’t worth it.
This was so confusing to me that I wrote several long posts about it, here and then here. That’s where you can find my original confused and overly long ranting about this strange phenomeon. But the summary is: John Oliver had this story about something that (apparently) happened to him on a train once, I know he was telling it at least as early as 2003 (since he told it in a Radio 4 appearance in January 2004), he told it on his New York TV show in 2010, I’m pretty sure it’s on his stand-up DVD, and I’ve heard him tell it a bunch of other times, including during TV interviews. It was a go-to story for him for years. And on a 2023 episode of Alan Davies: As Yet Untitled, Isy Suttie told that story as though it happened to her. Which I’m pretty sure it didn’t (it is possible that it really did happen to John Oliver and Isy Suttie together, but I don’t think so because I’ve heard her refer to the story on her radio show as a thing that happened to someone else, it’s a whole big thing and I already went into it in far too much detail in those earlier posts), so someone’s lying, and something strange has happened.
I spent a fair bit of those previous posts speculating about absurd scenarios in which maybe no one is lying and it’s all fine, and said at the end that I do realize all that happened is that Isy Suttie made the bad decision to tell someone else’s story, probably thinking it wouldn’t be a big deal and wasn’t even likely to make the edit, which it probably wasn’t, until Alan Davies named the episode after it. However, I’ve heard something recently that’s made me realize there is a genuine possible explanation that does not involve Isy Suttie stealing stuff on purpose.
I’ve had cause this week to re-listen to After the Beginning, Before the End, which is Daniel Kitson’s stand-up show from 2013. It’s available on Bandcamp and of course everyone should buy it along with everything else. It has this throughline where he recounts something a friend had said to him, a little at a time. At the end, there’s the bit that I cut out and uploaded above, where he finally tells the entire story, and we find out that the whole time, none of it was true. His friend Isy had taken a thing he’d once joked with her about how messed up it would be if someone did that, and later on, she’d recounted it back to him as something he'd actually done.
After the Beginning, Before the End is a show with all these themes around the unreliability of memory, and that story as a throughline is meant to be an example of that. The way someone can hear a joke, remember the thing that was joked about but forget all its context, and end up storing it in memory as a thing that really happened. That would be a good way to illustrate that, except that – I’m not sure the human brain normally does do that. I mean, it’s not unheard of, that someone would make that sort of error. But that’s a pretty big error. I’m not sure that’s a normal thing to do.
So, new theory: It’s possible that Isy Suttie just has some sort of cognitive quirk where she doesn’t remember context for stuff. Keeps stories in her head, but forgets crucial details like whether they really happened and who they happened to, and even whether or not they happened to her.
If that’s the case, it rather undermines Kitson’s central point, because that’s not a normal thing. He can’t use Isy Suttie as an example for the fallibility of human memory, because most human memories don’t function like that. Maybe the occasional error, but not one bad enough to take a story that gets told by a person you know, that you heard him tell for many years in various contexts, and end up believing it happened to you. But doing that probably isn’t any weirder than stealing someone else’s well-known stand-up story for one minute of attention on a panel show, so it's a reasonable theory. And I’ve now heard something in a different show to suggest she is prone to this sort of thing, so that's my working theory at the moment.
What a strange thing, all around. I still consider the whole situation an unsolved mystery, but I think the Kitson clip gives me the first remotely plausible explanation I've heard so far.
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thecrackedbead · 2 years
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Weird metaphors and weird jewelry: The making of 'Candy Chaos'
IN THE BEGINNING (of the bracelet), THERE WAS THE WORD (no, not that one!) AND THE WORD WAS 'meh'.
…Uh, I suppose that 'meh' doesn't sound ls+ike a word to stir creativity. You'll have to bear with me. I will explain.
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Whether or not you like it, I hope the result doesn't make you think 'meh'.
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Last month, I was perusing a thrift store when I heard a siren calling. Following its song, I found a box of wooden beads. Given that my self control when it comes to beads is even worse than my self control when comes to chocolate, it should come to no surprise that I took it home. I was pleased by the wooden beads…I was less taken by the rest of its contents which either hid in cracks and crannies of the containers or had the audacity to flash their imperfection.
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What I thought that I looked like when getting the beads.
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What I probably actually looked like.
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Some were nice enough like the little green and clear glass ones or simple but ever useful gold beads. Unfortunately there wasn't enough to make more than a few pairs of earrings and sometimes not even that. Others were like the hot pink clay beads, massively inconsistent in length. Finally, there was *gasp* plastic beads whose bright white windmill shapes refused to be ignored.
So with there not being many of the beads I did like and my hoity toity side sticking her nose up at the inferiority of the rest of the stowaways, I placed them all firmly in the 'meh' category. The logical thing to do at this point would have been to sell/give away/throw out the suckers but the only reason that beaders aren't a staple of the show 'Hoarders' is that our obsessions tend to be vaste in number but small in size. So into My Hoard of Doom (TM) they went.
Weeks later, I sat down at my worktable (which is totally not a coffee table that looks like it was hit by a tornado) determined to make something. As to what, I wasn't entirely sure what. I didn't have a massive amount of time before bed, so anything too intricate was out. My usual standby was to dig around in the bead soup and make earrings. However not that long ago, I had dealt with such earrings (I'll post about them later), which meant I had spent a fair bit of time
Writing about them.
Photographing them. (This takes too long as my equipment sucks and my training is non-existent.)
Editing the photographs. (Much like #2 when it comes to time.)
Noticing then freaking out about some miniscule flaws apparent in the photos.
Trying to convince myself that the flaws were barely noticeable and thus could be left along.
Failing at #4 and thus absolutely HAD TO fix said tiny flaws.
Is it so surprising that I felt earring-tated at the idea of making more?
Realising that as the items had (minisculely changed), I HAD TO go back to step #2. This cycle of course happened multiple times.
Is it so surprising that I felt earring-tated at the idea of making more?
However, there was a coil of memory wire nearby and sleepy minds can sometimes be a help instead of a hindrance. (Creativity of dreams seeping in?) In this state, I remembered a Facebook post asking if others ever made bracelets from random beads and my sleepy mind waved a lethargic hand at the beads I had formerly scorned.
Memory wire bracelet with random stuff? Sure, why not?
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You'll need this to know what the heck I am talking about.
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I recommend you reference the previous image to know what I am about to talk about.
Randomness is something of enemy of mine when it comes to design, or rather I view it as an enemy, while it is perfectly cordial to me. Like when I made the necklace 'Reflection on Asymmetry', going completely random was out of the question. I spent a good while taking beads on and off the long piece of memory wire that would be the bracelet's backbone until I felt I could produce a vague pattern to the piece. The sort that would allow me to get rid of my odd ball beads and prevent the bracelet having large boring sections, while keeping a feeling of spontaneity. It all came down to the Six Commandments:
Keep thy beads in the same relative colour family or else thy eyes will meltth. (Keep colours that more or less match or it will be ugly.)
At the Beginning and the Endth of thy memory wire make surest that there is a bead, neither small nor large, to mark the path. (Use a medium bead at the beginning and end of the bracelet length.)
Use thy smallest beads the most for they are a multitude and of those the pink most as they are as a legion to a single warrior. (You have too many small beads, so use them. Most of them are pink, so make use of them the most.)
For every fourth to eighth beads have oneth large bead or twoth with a few small beads in between. (Every 4-8 small beads have one large bead or two large beads with a couple small ones in between.)
Where there be loops at the ends of thy bracelet, let their little dangly-thingies joined in marriage to them be as unique as their fellows upon the path. (For the loops at the ends of the bracelets, have the little dangly-thingies attached to them be random-ish like the main bracelet.)
Above all else, if thou art going to follow the spirit of chaos in thy endeavour, then embrace it fully with all thy heart. This may lead to glory. (Okay, if I'm going to do weird things with this bracelet. I might as well make sure people know I am doing it on purpose. Those one or two unique beads that are sitting around for months doing nothing? There in. The white plastic windmills you poo-pooed and said belonged nowhere? I guess that means they belong here. NO obsessive matching!)
These Commandments pretty much tell the story of making the bracelet except for two things.
Firstly, for the dangly-thingies on the ends (I really need a better name for those), I didn't want to attach them directly to the bracelet loops. The loops being memory wire are really hard to manipulate so I was unsure of how good a job on them. That combined with the thinness of the pins that were used on for dangly-thingies (there's got to be a better name) made me worry that they would fall off. So instead of attaching them directly or using a jump ring to connect them, I used split rings (aka. that-key-chain-thingy) instead as they was wider and thicker than the jump rings I had. This plus the multiple loops of the split rings seemed to fit with the busy look of the rest of the bracelet.
Secondly, you see the big yellow bead on the main bracelet? It's hole was really big. In fact it was only little bigger than the pink beads thus it might might slide over them and the other small beads. The size difference was small enough that it hadn't happened yet, but I was worried I would get a grumpy customer who didn't like that there was suddenly a section of bare wire in their bracelet.
Solution? I'm tempted to say I did something cool and sophisticated but as I keep on using the so-called word 'dangly-thingy', I doubt you'd believe me anyways. I'll be honest: I spent five minutes running pink beads along the wire then shoving them into the yellow bead's hole while grunting like a pig. Once the hole was full, sliding or no sliding, I was sure there wouldn't be a sudden patch of bare wire.
Now you know how I made 'Candy Chaos' and it was really, really fun. Commandments or no, I mostly just randomly picked up and used beads. It made for an an oasis or spontaneity in a desert of order. I even found myself liking most of the things I was originally 'meh' on. The variation of colour, texture and shape made me think of a field of wildflowers in the spring. The white plastic windmills (or is it daisies now?) in particular added to this. Plus when you line two up, they act like gears, one spinning making the other one spin as well; thus, the bracelet's wearer has something to fidget with.
I write this after having a few days to process it. My final thoughts are other than missing my bedtime, I it was a success. I tried something new, used up a lot of beads that I normally would have ignored and got something I liked out of it. I will probably make more of this style.
. . . Also the word 'dangly-thingy' is starting to grow on me.
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The bracelet 'Candy Chaos' is now for sale at my etsy store.
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rosesradio · 2 years
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idk why i’m thinking about this or writing or posting but i was thinking of fic challenges and how some people are so chronically online and it can be problematic
tw: vent, injury
back when i was like fourteen, i was on wattpad writing a fandom-that-shall-not-be-named (okay, s*nders s*des isn’t that bad, i just was into it too much). i entered a fic challenge. my fic was gonna be reviewed and placed on a chart with those little edited stickers you can put on your cover, it was gonna be great.
the person running this competition, she was in i believe her thirties. she was nice at first, private messaging me about how good my fic was and asking repeatedly if i could use my good writer skills to be a judge, because it’d really help her out. i wasn’t confident, but i agreed, and i started trying to sort through all these entries like she asked.
then i had this incident, i injured my knee (i’d describe it as dislocation, but i’m not fully sure. i had to have a brace and i didn’t go to school for a week, and i have trauma to this day from it and i’m not sure it’ll ever be full-functioning again). obviously, my mental health took a major dip. i took a few days, then decided the stress of this fic challenge--which shouldn’t be stressful, it should be fun, that’s why we’re all here--was making things worse.
i told the woman running this competition, that due to my knee injury and declining mental health that i could no longer be a judge in her competition, and that i was really sorry. she lost her shit. she told me that last time she checked, a ‘leg injury doesn’t impair your ability to read’. she said i was lazy, not a good writer, and that i wasn’t ‘actually disabled’ like her (i never claimed to be disabled, i don’t feel like i have a place in disability discourse just because i wear a brace to work). she said she was booting me from the contest, blocked me, and proceeded to vague-post talking shit about me to her thousands of followers.
i was in theatre practice when these messages took place, and i went to the bathroom and cried so hard, but i couldn’t tell anyone what was wrong, because it meant i’d have to talk about my fanfic, which leads to me being gay (a sensible pipeline)
obviously i don’t write this out to make anyone feel sorry for me, this happened almost five years ago and i’ve dealt with worse. it’s just this experience with an adult and in a fic competition obviously effected me. and i hope no minors are following me (because in my bio post i said there’s some nsfw themes, so they shouldn’t be, but you never know). but i hope i never treat anyone, especially a younger person that (somehow) admires me/my work like that. i just wanna treat the world with sympathy, and hope i receive the same in return
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senseipewdi · 2 years
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I feel bad for harry. Like really really bad. He gave this heartfelt speech about meeting one of his best friends almost 10 years ago out of no where. And the very next day we get 4 pap walks with way too many photos?? We get 4 pap walks with one of harry being mobbed and not to mention how that pathetic woman is smiling?? Almost as of she is enjoying this?? Almost as Jeff wanted h to give that speech so that people feel he wasn't at fault and wants only good things for h??
Honestly, it irks me how soon people who "love and actually care about h" forgot that he was robbed at a gun point. To throw him out in such a vulnerable place like that doesn't seem like a way to show care to someone, atleast to me.
His real fanbase praising h for being such a caring boyfriend, going back to take her hand when she looked vulnerable in such a sea of people?? These are the people who will shit on h when the inevitable bua comes. They will forget all about these comments on theirs and focus on her miserable face. Honestly, to no one with well functioning eye sight, did she look scared, she looked like she was fucking enjoying that mob. Like she knows this level of fame and rose isn't something she can earn for herself and she will do anyhting to make a name for herself like she has been doing all along. This movie was never about anyone but her.
It's like she did this on purpose. All people were talking about was florence and her fantaboulus interview and her confirmation on her og post that yes that is what she meant to say, no twist and turns. She wanted people to turn a blind eye away from the actual truth of events to this shit. It's is what happens isn't it?? Let a new drama emerge and people will forget the old one? No one is even talking flo anymore. Bad publicity is publicity. Larries are hating this but are still seeing it. Honestly, don't even have words for the delulus.
I never believed this shit would end before the end of this year, atleast after the number of times we heard she is editing amd changing parts. Like she really went ahead and changed her character's name from Mary to bunny?? How pathetic?? If unnecessarily including yourself in the movie wasn't it, this just establishes that no one can become as cheap as attention hungry as her in a super super bad way.
She tries to become a sex symbol for the younger generation. She hasn't embraces that she is old now. She thinks she is thin, white and thus forver young. Her non stop tall about sex is so vile, I don't even know what yo say. Someone should tell her that getting your children's name tattooed doesn't make you the mother of the year, wearing a jacket with your son's name engraved on it while taking a closeted man for a pap walk doesn't make you the mother of the year, posting a few pictures with your kids at the end of every other week before you go to become a bad groupie stalker doesn't make you the mother of the year, being there for your kids amd actually loving them makes you a good mother.
The closer the bua date comes the more desperate she is going to get. The plan was to never promote dwd. The idea was always to promote the fake ass young olivia wilde (I get disgusted even writing this name) and over shadowing my policeman because that's what an actual movie is like. Even she knows it.
Welcome to the actual stunt season we haven't gotten to witness in years!!
Ps: Thank you Jeff for proving you are nothing less than Simon himself.
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taelia15 · 3 years
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IWAY ~ one: homecoming
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pairing: sakusa x f!reader
genre: medical field for reader. exes to lovers. angst, unrequited love, slow burn, mutual pining, romance, fluff. few flashbacks.
synopsis: you return home to complete your residency, where you left everything, including a broken heart behind to go overseas. you always thought if you were meant to be, you would find your way back to each other. would fate bring the two of you back together or tear you further apart?
cw: hospital setting (y/n’s work). swearing.
a/n: a reminder this is post-timeskip, before Kageyama & Hinata leave for their current teams. this is the rewritten version. may or may not make small edits in future.
this holds true for the entire story: all the guys may or may not have s/o’s. y/n is like a younger sister to all of them.
series masterlist | prologue | one | two
wc: ~4.7k words
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“y/n, is Keiji there yet?”
You sighed. It was always in one ear and out the other with your mother. 
“Mom, I literally just got off the plane a few minutes ago.” The time difference and jet lag were taking a toll on you already. You were at the terminal about to go to baggage claim. There was a sea of people when you glanced around the concourses, making it impossible to find your best friend. “I don’t see him, so, no?”
“He said he arrived half an hour ago.”
She should’ve picked you up instead. 
A train ride home started to look like the better option instead of putting Akaashi through the trouble. If you took that route, your mother would be having some words with her best friend. “Oh. We must have missed each other then.” 
“You should call him.”
“Mm, I will. I’ll see you later, Mom.”
“Bye, y/n. See you soon.”
You were about to call Akaashi, but you spotted him waiting at baggage claim. Yes, the same baggage claim from your flight. How was he able to think proactively all the time? Then again, it’s no surprise he was always one step ahead of you. The end result was if he got your bags, the two of you wouldn’t have wasted any time. 
Sneaking up behind him, you reached around to cover his eyes. “Guess who?” 
His shoulders tensed up from the sudden contact. “My guess is, which I’m pretty sure is correct, it’s you, y/n.” 
Withdrawing your hands, he glanced back at you. 
“Boo, you’re no fun.” With a hug from behind, you gave an apologetic smile for startling him. “I missed you though.”
Video chatting once every few weeks was a way you kept in touch with them while being overseas, but those were far in between. The time difference and busy schedules made it impossible for both parties to be available. There were texts, but no one wrote emails anymore.
Four years went by in a flash and not once did you go back home to visit. Round trip flights were expensive and for only one or two weeks? A few trips could have been spared, but you didn’t want to take the chance of not returning to school. The family did fly out though. It was costly too, leaving your mother the one who mainly visited. Joey did once or twice a year, but it was to see her father. She was close enough, so you met her halfway or she visited you on campus.
“I was just about to call, but I saw you and decided to surprise you,” you explained. “Oh, my mom said thanks again.” 
You glanced at Akaashi’s face. He looked weary. The one bad thing about being a doctor is you keep scrutinizing everyone, never bringing it up and keeping it to yourself. He probably had to go out of his way to pick you up as well. 
“Have you been waiting long?”
“Almost an hour. I wasn't sure where to meet you and I was hoping to grab your bags.” He waved a hand towards the conveyor belt. “I see you’re wearing a mask. Are you not feeling well?”
“Oh, this?” You took off your mask and shrugged. “I’m used to it, but what can you do when your job requires it? I didn’t want to get sick coming back either.”
Flying back took almost a day and a half. The close proximity with others on the plane and their germs from coughing, sneezing, or their breathing even, made you shudder.
“And you shouldn’t have your earbuds in if they aren’t being used. It’s not safe.” He gestured towards your ear.
Sometimes you forget they were even in, but you just got off the phone and didn’t have time to put them away.
“It’s hands-free and it’s not like I’m driving,” you laughed, taking one out to show him. Both earbuds were taken out and put back into their case, into your bag. “Thank you for the reminder though. I appreciate it.” 
He was concerned and looking out for you like an older brother would. 
You obviously were exhausted from the fourteen hour layover in order to return in the morning. “Sorry, I’m cranky.”
“Understandable,” Akaashi smiled.
“You know you would make a great boyfriend for someone,” you teased, hoping to lighten the mood. 
Akaashi laughed nervously.
“It’s true! Unless you already found someone,” you continued with a glint in your eye.
He coughed. “You’re killing me, y/n.”
“Okay, okay. Fine. I’ll stop. Let’s go wait for my bags before we miss them and have to wait longer.”
The two of you waited a bit before the belt started moving. It was only two bags; the rest were shipped back to your parents’ house. After retrieving them, both of you headed towards the parking lot. 
It was late morning, jetlagged and hungry, but you didn’t want any real food.
“Is it lunchtime for you yet?”
Akaashi checked his watch. “Almost. What do you feel like eating? How was the food overseas?”
There was nothing spectacular about the food. The snacks your family mailed or brought you made you homesick, but it satisfied your cravings. Traveling to other cities was out of the question. There was barely time for yourself, let alone expend what little free time you had for a trip.  
“It was more Americanized than authentic. You’ll get used to it,” you hesitated. “You want to go get something? Coffee? I'm craving something sweet.”
He already knew what you were hinting at. “Sure. Let me guess, you want kakigori?” 
"Yes! I could go for some tropical fruit shaved ice as well. Either or, it doesn’t matter to me,” you answered all too eagerly. You shouldn’t really or else you’ll be bouncing off the walls on the sugar high. “Did you take the day off?”
“I have to go back in to do a bit of work.”
“I’m sorry for asking you to come pick me up from an early flight. I don’t want you to waste your time on me though. I really do appreciate it,” you rambled. Komori was right, now you feel bad. Next time, a train ride home would have to do. 
“You’re not a bother, y/n, I’m happy to. But you aren’t staying with your parents?”
You shook your head.
“I would offer to let you stay with me for a bit, but you won’t accept it because of Bokuto-san. I know you don’t want to-”
“Keiji, I’m sure he doesn’t want to see me. I upped and left after graduation, so let’s leave it at that.” 
It hasn’t been a few hours since you've landed and you’re already reminded of the past. 
What else could go wrong today? 
“If you don’t want to talk about it, I respect your decision,” Akaashi reassured.
He didn’t mean to bring it up, don’t take it to heart. You reached out and rested a hand on his arm. “I’m sorry.” 
Akaashi turned his head and offered a smile.
“Could we stop by my parents’ first?” you asked.
“Sure, I’ll accompany you to coffee after.” 
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆   。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
An unexpected visitor, Komori, was awaiting your arrival at your parents’ home. You weren’t expecting him nor did he mention he was going to drop by. The original plan was for Akaashi to bring you to your work. Since he had to go back to work himself, it was tasked to Komori now. They checked with you if it was alright beforehand.
After you’ve caught up with your family, the three of you dropped by a café near their home. The two ordered their food and drinks, and you ordered your tropical fruit shaved ice. All of you sat down at a table to chat a bit.
The reason you got the yogurt-like flavor shaved ice was for the fruit and ice cream, not for the shaved ice itself. Mango, strawberry, passion fruit, and pineapple, all piled on top of fluffy shaved ice. Any other time you would’ve just asked for the fruit and ice cream, but you didn’t want to be difficult. You really did miss the refreshing taste with a slight hint of sweetness. The portion you get is big enough to share, but you were pretty sure the other two weren’t interested. 
Savoring its flavor before you swallowed, you sighed, “This is so good. I missed this.”
“They didn’t have it over there?” Komori asked.
“They do, but it’s not the same.” It was the type of fruit they used and the flavor of the shaved ice. It tasted plain overseas. 
Something felt off though. Why was Komori here to begin with? Shouldn’t he be at practice instead? “Komori, don’t you have somewhere else to be?”
“Oh, I took time off,” he answered nonchalantly.
He took time off? He wasn’t the type to take off for no reason.
Akaashi suddenly spoke up, “I’ve got to head back to the office now. We can meet up tonight for dinner if you’d like.”
“Um, sure,” you responded without thinking.
“Where would you want to go?” 
“You can pick,” you offered. It slipped out before you could stop yourself.
Please don’t pick…
“Onigiri Miya?” he suggested.
Ugh, of course, he wanted to go there.
You took a deep breath before answering, “Sounds like a plan. See you later, Keiji.”
Akaashi nodded at you and bid farewell to Komori and left. Now you are stuck with Komori.
“y/n,” Komori started.
Akaashi wasn’t even gone for a good minute.
“Komori,” you forced a small smile. 
He wasted no time and dove right in. "Start talking.”
“About?” It was obvious what he was referring to, but you didn’t want to get into it. What was there to talk about? You were sure they talked about you plenty when you were gone.
“You know darn well who I’m talking about.” He was serious.
You sighed, thinking you should’ve left with Akaashi. “I didn’t want him to wait around for me. Four years is a long time. I can’t and I’m not going to waltz back here and expect to pick up where we left off. He deserves better, and I didn’t want to ruin it for him. I can’t pretend to be something I’m not. I love him, but I had to let him go.”
“Did you tell him this?”
“No, I didn’t want to give him the chance to change my mind.” He couldn’t have with your foolproof plan no one knew about except your parents.
Silence fell over your table. The grinding from the coffee machine and other people’s chatter could be heard.
“y/n, could you please talk to him?” Komori pleaded.
“I’ll talk to him when I’m ready to see him,” you mumbled.
“And how are you going to see him? I bet you don’t even have his number,” he pressed on.
“You’re right, I don’t.” With pursed lips, you quickly averted your gaze. It felt like an interrogation.
“I know you have it memorized,” he added.
“No, it’s been too long.” The truth is, you should remember it, but you aren’t sure anymore. It was the usual click of his name from recent calls or the call button under his contact page, but he wasn’t on your phone anymore. Even if you do remember it, a few digits may be off. Who knows if he even has the same number? 
“y/n.”
“I’m being selfish for not wanting to have my heart broken,” you finally admitted.
“Kiyoomi would never…”
How was Komori so sure? 
It was something you, the girlfriend, would never do to him either. Out of everyone, you should have all the answers, when the truth was you didn’t. The last few months up until your departure, you didn’t consider yourself as one anymore. 
All families had differing opinions, like yours did. You chose him no matter what your family said or thought. It was your decision, no one else’s. The one thing you would never ask of him is to choose you. 
Thinking he was the one, you poured your heart and soul into the relationship to find out you weren’t important enough, so you chose to be selfish, choosing yourself. 
It was destined you were to go down this path alone. It was what you originally planned to do to begin with, until he came along. It wouldn’t have come to this point if you had remained friends.
“Everyone thinks differently.” If Komori was going to defend his cousin, you’re going to defend yourself. “You don’t know what people have been saying about me-”
“I may not know what’s been said, but I have a pretty good idea.”
The heartache and headaches you endured in regards to the decision you made were no fun. You gently massaged your temple with your fingertips. “Like I said, I’ll talk to him when I’m ready.”
“He was-” Komori started, but stopped himself. “Never mind.”
A quick look at your watch said you were out of time. “I’m sorry, Komori. I can’t talk about this anymore, at least not right now. But are we ready to go? I have to drop by the hospital.”
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆   。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
And you hated it, relying on others to chauffeur you around. It always made you feel like an inconvenience, first to Akaashi, now to Komori.
When Komori dropped you off, you put your mask back on. It was hospital protocol, at least at your previous place of employment. It’s to be on the safe side, not knowing how this place was going to turn out. It wasn’t on the schedule for you to go in today. You just wanted the file off your hands. They said as long as it was before the start of the new week.
Both your attending, Yamamoto-sensei, and the cardiac fellow, Ito-sensei, were not available to meet with you due to a double coronary bypass surgery. You were instructed to come back later in the evening, which was six hours tops, giving you more than enough time to doodle around. A nurse said they would give you a call when Yamamoto-sensei is available.
The file you had all this time, along with your transfer papers, was turned into HR. Not once did you look in it. The curiosity was there, but it should only be your basic employee information. It wasn’t like you were written up before. There wasn't any information requiring updates, it should be the same as medical school. 
The remaining new hire paperwork was completed along with the onboarding tour, while also going through the necessary tests and physical examination. Since orientations were only held at the beginning of the week, you’d have to wait until the following, when work officially begins. You met the staff, interns, and other residents. 
Speaking of residents... There was a copper haired male with slanted bangs, parted unevenly. You recognized him and knew who he was, but were not able to remember his name due to never officially meeting. He went to Ushijima-san’s school, but did he know you?
“You look familiar,” he started. Anyone could see the gears turning inside his brain from the way he was looking at you so intently.
Ah, so he did know. You didn’t change much then, if he still recognizes you. Wait, no, he wouldn’t dare say it. 
“OH.” The light bulb went off. “You’re Sakusa’s ex.”
He said it.
The reference didn’t amuse you. Not letting it bother you, you proceeded to ask, “You went to school with Ushijima-san, Shiratorizawa, correct?”
“Yes, Shirabu Kenjiro.” He held out a hand.
It was a relief he didn’t bow. You were about to inform him, he didn’t have to do formalities with you. A fist bump would have sufficed. Guess you’d have to see how he was as a colleague. Shaking his hand, you answered, “Nice to meet you. I’m l/n y/n.”
“I heard you did med school overseas. There was all this buzz about the new transfer.”
Buzz wasn’t a good sign.
“I hope all good things?” you inquired.
“Mm, yes, I suppose.” Shirabu studied your reaction. 
Starting to think maybe you should’ve picked a different hospital when Joey happened to whiz by. She must be telepathically linked to you because she said you were needed elsewhere.
You were grateful for this opportunity to make your escape. “I’ll see you around, Shirabu-san.”
“Shirabu is fine. Looking forward to working with you.” He gave you a small smile.
“Likewise.”
The two of you walked until Shirabu was out of earshot before she caught you up to speed, whilst on the way to get your hospital ID badge. You missed her, you really did. She still wasn’t big on hugs. It was beginning to feel like you aren’t welcomed back, you were just another random person in anyone’s life.
“You know, Jo, when they say it’s a small world, I didn’t know it was this ‘small’,” you started off.
Joey’s eyes twinkled with mirth. “Don’t tell me he played volleyball too.”
“As a matter of fact, yes, he did.” You shook your head. “I should’ve stayed in the States for my residency.”
“Aw, come on, it won’t be that bad. Give this place a chance. It’s only your first day back.”
It was easy for her to say. She wasn’t the one with baggage.
“Oh, I do have to warn you about Ishida-sensei though. He’s a resident as well. He messed around with the other residents and some of the nurses. He won’t take no for an answer and if you get on his bad side, he’ll bad mouth you and try to get you kicked off surgeries.”
Who didn’t love hospital drama? He must be bad if she was telling you this soon. Something else you didn’t need to deal with. What would it take to make him back off though? 
“How were you spared?” you wondered.
“I have my ways. He won’t come anywhere near me.”
Work was for work, not for romances. Guess it was a perk to have a work husband. You did have one before you came back. Obviously, it wasn’t going to work here, not with Shirabu and Joey around. You definitely didn’t need people getting the wrong idea either.
“Right. I’ll keep it in mind. Thanks for the heads up.” You checked the time on your watch. “I have to go back to my parents’ to get my bags and check-in to a hotel. Then meet up with Keiji for dinner. Do you want to tag along?”
"No, thanks, maybe next time. I have a bunch of work. You don’t have to get me anything though,” Joey answered absentmindedly.
Go figure she wasn’t going to. “I’ll see you when I get back?”
“Sure, you can find me at the second-floor nurses’ station.”
。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆   。・:*:・゚★,。・:*:・゚☆
Sakusa sat on a bench in the locker room, with his head in his hands.
“Omi-kun, what’s wrong with ya? Ya haven’t been yerself for the past few days.”
He glared at Atsumu. “I’m not in the mood for your fuckery today.”
“”M hurt,” the blond pouted.
“Must be because y/n is back,” Bokuto chimed in. It’s times like these he wished he kept his mouth shut because he wasn’t supposed to mention it. Food was on his mind and he wanted to ask Akaashi what he was doing for dinner, whom so happened to mention he was picking you up that morning. For some reason, when he sees Sakusa acting the way he currently is, you come to his mind.
Atsumu feigned surprise. “She’s back and she didn’t come to visit me?”
Sakusa scoffed, “She doesn’t like you.”
“HEY! ‘M goin’ to ask her when I see her,” Atsumu fumed. He could throw all the tantrums in the world, but you would never think differently of him.
“Let me see what Akaashi’s doing for dinner,” Bokuto announced, trying to change the subject.
“Oh, y/n-san’s back! I missed her!” Hinata exclaimed.
“You all knew and didn’t say anything?” Sakusa shook his head. “I’m surprised you all kept your mouth shut for once.”
He knew beforehand. Someone mentioned it to him awhile back. He tried not to think about it and kept himself occupied, hoping he would forget. When the actual day came, it slipped his mind. A reminder from his teammates would’ve been nice. It didn’t matter either way. There’s nothing he could have or would have done. 
“Of course, we knew. Look who her best friend is. Sorry, Omi, it’s not my place to say something.”
Sakusa sighed.
Bokuto continued, “Look, man, I know you still have feelings for her. You should talk to her.”
“I’m pretty sure she got rid of everything that has to do with me.” He paused for a second. “She wants nothing to do with me.”
“That’s not true. She’s not heartless, dude.”
“Oi, ‘m headin’ to Samu’s for dinner now. Are y’all in? Ya should come, Omi-kun. Get yer mind off things.”
“Akaashi said he’s there already. Guess I’m tagging along,” Bokuto answered.
Hinata walked up to Sakusa. “Omi-san, are you coming?”
It didn’t look like he had a choice. “You go ahead. I need a few. I’ll head over there in a bit.”
On your way to Onigiri Miya, it took every ounce of your willpower from not turning around and canceling on Akaashi. Of course you arrived early because you were a real stickler for being on time. The chance to escape went out the window when he was already there waiting.
You greeted the owner when you walked in, “Miya-san, it’s been a while.”
He immediately looked up and recognized an old friend. “Osamu, y/n, no need for formalities. Long time no see. I heard yer a doctor now. Congratulations.”
“Thank you. It’ll take a bit for me to adjust.” You weren’t playing favorites, well, maybe you were. Osamu was the better twin in your eyes. 
The night’s young, so there were other customers he had to attend to. “I’ll talk to ya guys in a bit.”
Sitting down at a table with Akaashi, you whispered, “It’s just us, right?”
The innocent dinner plans were doomed from the start when you agreed to come here. 
Before he could answer and right as those words left your mouth, a few more customers came in.
“’SAMU! ‘M starvin’!”
A huge groan could be heard from you while you tried to hide and busy yourself with the menu, but you were spotted. This isn’t how you wanted to end your first night back.
“HEY, HEY, HEY, Y/N! AKAASHIIII!”
“y/n-san!”
“Bo-kun. Hinata-kun.” 
They both engulfed you in a bear hug. Finally, the first real hug you received from a non-family member or from someone who didn’t have beef with you.
You knew this all too well. They always did things together. Once in a blue moon, he wouldn’t join them, but if they are here, then that means...
“Look who we have here,” Atsumu smirked. “Omi-kun’s ex.”
“My least favorite Miya.” Your jaw clenched as you glared at him. “I swear to God, if you keep referring to me as that, I will murder you, bring you back, and kill you all over again.”
Akaashi raised an eyebrow. “y/n, I don’t think your medical license was meant to be used that way.”
“Ouch. ‘M hurt.” Atsumu feigned offense. “Ya and Omi-kun are made for each other. He tried to kill me earlier too.” 
He hesitated, “Can ya really do that though?”
Atsumu brought him up, but it wasn’t going to deter you though. You snickered, “Want to find out?”
“No, thank ya,” he muttered, along with something else you didn’t catch.
“What’s that? Do I need to make good on my promise?” You didn’t really mean it. The two of you bickered back and forth all the time, not as bad as him and Osamu though.
“Nothin’.”
“Just as I thought.” You rolled your eyes and were about to say something else, but your phone rang. 
It was the hospital calling.
“Keiji, could you order for me? Two spicy tuna onigiris, please and thanks.” You stood up from your seat. “I’m going to take this outside.” 
It was too loud in there anyway because Atsumu went to bicker with Osamu. 
Figures.
“Sure,” Akaashi answered.
“Thanks again. You’re the best.” You flashed him a grateful smile before rushing outside to take the call.
Yamamoto-sensei had time available the rest of the evening and wanted to meet with you in thirty minutes. He’s aware you flew back today and didn’t want you to wait around much longer or to take up much more of your evening. 
When you started to wonder why you were holding the phone, you realized the earbuds were inside your bag, which was inside the restaurant. It should’ve been kept on you.
With the phone propped against your shoulder, you paced back and forth chatting with him. He inquired how’d your tour go and if you met mostly everyone. There were a lot more things to talk about, but you both thought it would be more personable to discuss in person instead of over the phone. 
Since the call was about to be wrapped up, you started to head back inside.
“Yes, Yamamoto-sensei, I am on my way to the hospital now. Let me grab my dinner to go.”
As you reached for the door, someone else did as well. 
The light electric shock you felt made you want to pull your hand back, but the firm hold on your hand wouldn’t let go. 
“I’m sorry,” you started. 
You haven’t felt this since...
“Kiyoomi,” you murmured, glancing up. 
“y/n.” He quickly glanced over your clasped hands.
Yanking your hand out of his grasp, you stepped back. There were a mix of emotions in his eyes. The what or how he was feeling you couldn’t tell. You quickly averted your eyes, not wanting to be pulled back in. 
When you heard the voice from your phone, you realized your call wasn’t finished.
“l/n?”
“Sumimasen, Yamamoto-sensei, I... I ran into... someone. I will be there soon. See you then.”
Why were you always like this around him?
Sakusa had been holding the door open the whole time. When he realized you weren’t moving, he asked, “Are you coming in?”
You nodded and hurried inside, with Sakusa trailing in behind you. 
“Hey, look, the power couple’s back together.”
A wave of feelings hit you full force. There was dead silence. All eyes were on the both of you.
“We’re not…” You trailed off with the sudden urge to leave immediately. No excuses needed. You did have to head back to work. “Osamu, I need to take my order to go. My boss wants to meet with me now.”
“Sure thing,” Osamu replied.
Walking up to the counter you could feel his eyes trained on you the whole time. The nervousness wasn’t helping your attempt at acting normal. You fumbled through your bag, looking for your wallet.
Osamu had packed up everything and brought it back, while you still tried to find your wallet. 
“I’ll pay for her,” Sakusa spoke up.
“No, no, I have my card,” you stated, still fumbling around.
When you finally found your wallet and handed over your card, Sakusa had already signed the slip and handed it back to Osamu.
Osamu shrugged. “Sorry, y/n, he said he got ya.” 
You sighed.
“I... er... um... Thank you, Sakusa-san. I guess I owe you one.” You stumbled over your words like an idiot.
“Ouch, she called him by his last name.”
“Thank you again. I guess I’ll see you around,” you restated. “Bye, Osamu, Bo, Hinata. I’ll see you later, Keiji.”
“Hey, what about me?”
After sticking your tongue out at Atsumu, you ran out of there.
“Ya girl is as mean as ever. Don’t say bye to me. Said she was goin’ to kill me, bring me back, and kill me all over or somethin’,” Atsumu complained.
You haven’t changed one bit.
“Are ya listenin’ to me?” Atsumu pestered. “Earth to Omi-kun. Hello?”
You still wore the bracelet. 
Sakusa smiled, “That’s my girl.”
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notes: y/n saw Akaashi as a big brother only. nothing happened between the two. will be explained in chapter 2.
random last names were chosen for the doctors. y/n got her training cert/medical license in the US, since she was already working over there after med school graduation before coming back to Japan. will explain in later chapter how this is possible.
second floor is pediatrics. will be important in a later chapter.
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bratkook · 3 years
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like you used to. jjk
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“So kill me like you used to...”
part two.
pairing. ex boyfriend!jungkook x reader genre. angst, mentions of smut, toxic exes warnings. very toxic depictions of relationships, hints at infidelity, drunken mistakes, they’re both very toxic for each other and just can’t stay away, brief mentions of smut word count. 2.9k note. this is just a lump of angst that my mind conjured at 1am last night, i just love angst and messy relationships that are destined to fail 😌(its not edited so if u see a typo no u dont)
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It always started with a phone call. 
Whether it was from you or him always changed. Sometimes he’d get the call at two in the morning, vision blurry as he brought the phone to his face and saw your name illuminated on the screen, that old goofy selfie you had together still set as your contact photo. He’d hesitate for a moment just to keep you on your toes before pressing accept, already getting up and putting pants on because he knew just what you were calling for. 
Tonight was your turn to be on the receiving end, laying in bed comfortably as you scrolled through random posts to try to help you sleep, the flash of his face fills your phone, it’s a random close up photo of his eyes staring right into the camera, crinkled up in a smile. Even though his name is changed in your contacts, no longer having the cute bunny emoji tacked to the end, you know you’ll still pick up in a heartbeat. And you do. 
The second you press accept you’re met with the familiar sound of his voice, slurred and thick as he speaks so jumbled up you would barely be able to understand him if you didn’t already know what he was saying. It was the same things he always said whenever he got like this, proclamations of love that only cut up your freshly scabbed over wounds, salt rubbing into them when he cries about how he misses you, promises to change. 
They get cut off when the phone is yanked away from his grasp, the second familiar voice belonging to his buddy Yugyeom now speaking into the receiver. “You gotta pick him up Y/N.”
The annoyance is evident in his voice, the babbling of Jungkook still heard in the background along with the dull beat of whatever place they were outside of. 
“He’s not my responsibility Yugyeom.”
He simply sighs into the phone, staring at his mess of a friend before rubbing his jaw, sore and aching from where he had just been socked after attempting to force him into an uber. “Yeah well he won’t let anyone else take him home, he’s drunk as fuck. I’ll send you the location.”
Not waiting for a response he hangs up and sends you a pin of where they’re at, thrusting the phone back into his friend’s hands before getting into that uber and leaving Jungkook alone while he whines against the dirty bar wall, crouching down onto the filthy sidewalk as the car drove off. 
Yugyeom knew you would come to his rescue like you always did, never once saying no and letting Jungkook fend for himself because on the rare occasions where you’d call him drunk and crying he’d do the same. 
Getting into the car still dressed in your pajamas, shoes thrown on without being laced up, hair still messy, it felt like routine now from how often it happened. Jungkook called you sober, text you while in a sane state of mind, but without fail at least once a month he’d get absolutely shit faced and call you, leaving you what he thought were heartfelt voicemails if by some chance you didn’t answer. 
It was the same bar every time, a bar you used to frequent with him, knowing the location and all the small side streets to get you there without needing directions. Doing this felt like such a normal part of your life it almost made you forget that you and Jungkook weren’t together anymore. It’s been a year since you split and you still find yourself thinking if things could be different. 
Would it have been best if you never confessed to each other, never admitted to the small inkling of a crush before it was able to fully blossom? It was hard not to wonder how different life would be now if you had walked away the first time things went south, if he had walked away after the first argument. 
Whenever he called you, pulled you in with those drunken promises it was easy to convince yourself that your relationship was perfect, that it was worth all of the struggles. Your brain morphed each fight, each time you cried alone, twisted it around and molded it to make it easier to consume, easier to believe you were meant to be. 
You thought you were soulmates, and maybe you were, two people destined to be together, meeting at the wrong time, under the wrong circumstances. What was meant to be perfect puzzle pieces connected had slowly turned into jagged edges that no longer clicked regardless of how hard you tried to jam them together, foolishly thinking you could spill your love into the gaps to mend the spaces, making the pieces whole once more. 
Love was never enough. 
Love made you stupid, made you blind and gullible, smiling through lies to avoid arguments, going to bed angry until he was hovering over you, coaxing you into forgiveness with soft kisses and gentle touches. It always went this way, regardless of who’s fault it was without fail he’d end up slot between your legs, the only time the puzzle pieces connected perfectly, allowing him to fuck you as if he’d never see you again. Murmurs of love and adoration were passed between panting breaths, sloppy kisses, shared moans to mask the empty promises you made every time.
Staying away from each other was a hard habit to kick, the two of you stuck on an endless game of seesaw, neither of you having the guts to get off and move on. All it took was a simple drunk phone call for you to go his way, the slur of his voice as he cries into the receiver about how much he loved you, missed you, needed you next to him, wanted to try again. It reeled you in so easily, winding you up until you were hauling your sloppy ex boyfriend off the dirty floor and into your small car. 
He remembers none of this, he never did, not fully anyways. Small tidbits of words he said flash in his mind as he comes to, drool on his cheek and neck sore from the unfortunate position he had slept in, groggy and unaware of his surroundings. 
He knew your apartment too well, recognized the green wall he had helped you paint, now holding endless pictures of you and your friends. None of Jungkook anymore. 
All of those photos were gone now, not burned or shredded in some ritual to get over him, simply tucked into a box and shoved so far into your closet you hoped you would forget it. You never did of course, the way the box laid dust free made it clear how often you pulled it out and sorted through the photos whenever you had too much wine, whenever you had off days where you just felt so alone and wished you could go back to the times you had convinced yourself were better. They weren’t, you knew they weren’t once you sobered up and balanced out your emotions.
Jungkook doesn’t feel bothered that not a trace of him remained visible in your home, he knew his presence lingered in the cracks, buried so deep in the crevices of your mind he knew you would always think of him. 
He groans softly as his eyes roam the interior of your home, the throbbing in his temples making him stop and shut his lids, not needing to analyze the place he was at less than two weeks ago when you had called him over. Jungkook briefly wonders if he should sneak his way out, not used to waking up on the couch instead of in your bed right beside you, maybe he had said something last night that crossed the line and landed him on the couch as a punishment. 
As you finally emerge from your room his plan of escape is put to a stop, his eyes gravitating towards your bedroom door, seeing the way you cautiously step out. Having heard Jungkook wake up since you had already been awake for the past hour, your body not allowing you to sleep while knowing he was in the other room, it took a few minutes of courage before you were able to face him. 
Spotting him on your couch shows how much he doesn’t belong, the pinned leather jacket he wore looking so harsh against the light coloring of your furniture, his dark disheveled hair contrasting with the tidy way you organized your apartment. He senses it, the skin crawling sensation that spreads the longer you stare at him, how he felt so out of place somewhere he used to call home at one point. 
“Thank you for picking me up.” He chooses to break the silence, voice raspy, his internal self screaming at him for always doing this. His eyes are sincere, genuinely meaning it, knowing just how messy he got when he had too much to drink, how his friends could never handle him when he crossed the line and began to call for you. 
Like always his words were routine so he expects it when you huff and say, “You need better friends Jungkook.”
“I know.” Because he did, he knew his friends enabled him, riled him up and once he became too much they pushed him onto you, knowing Jungkook’s grip on you was still too strong for you to ever say no. 
“What if I hadn’t picked you up? Would they have left you on the side of the bar to fend for yourself?”
“Probably,” he shrugs, from past experiences he knows very well they would have. His friends had dealt with Jungkook crying over you far too much, their patience fully stamped out, no longer able to tolerate him when he became like this. 
Not even realizing when he begins to smile as he thought of the nights you didn’t pick up, how he had ended up in the most random locations because he refused to go home to a place you weren’t, he snaps out of it when you scoff. “It’s not funny Jungkook, you could have gotten hurt or something.”
There it was, the reason you were upset. Not because he had called you and spewed the same bullshit he always did, no that you could tolerate. You were upset, and worried, that you’d get a following call from someone stating he had injured himself while calling for you. 
“I know.”
You pause to breathe, his short responses not irking you like it should, arms crossed over your chest as you observe your ex boyfriend still sitting on the couch, looking like a scolded child. 
“You can’t call me anymore Jungkook.” How you have the nerve to say that to him is funny, acting as if ten days ago you weren’t the one doing this to him, telling him you missed him, securing your anchor around his foot and dragging him back under with you. 
This is the checklist you needed to go down, a formality of the morning after so he doesn’t mind it. Instead he frowns at the way you continue to say his name, the way it rolls off your tongue makes him wince, missing the way you’d call him Kookie, playful pet names like Bunny, something he swore he hated but secretly loved. Jungkook wished he could hear you say it again, humor you with that damned bunny eared headband he’d wear to hear you laugh, squeal as he posed and dance for whatever silly video you recorded as you shouted out the ridiculous nickname. 
The last time he heard those words spill out of your mouth had been too long ago. 
“I’m sorry.” he admits, he knew he had to stop, couldn’t continue to hold onto the past, knowing how wrong you were for each other but he wasn’t the only one. Those were the same words you told him ten days ago, apologizing with guilty eyes for asking him to come over when you were lonely, needing a familiar body to occupy the space next to you, wanting his hands to soothe you, make you feel whole again just for a night. 
Once the sun came up it was back to normal, the two of you having the repeat conversation you had every time, the exact one you were having now. A formality. Nothing more, just mindless words that you would both agree to just to move along, to make you both feel better, more secure with yourself until the next time the phone rang. 
Your heart twists in your chest as you look at him, the same toxic love you had for him brewing in your heart, spilling over and burning you but you ignore the pain, convince yourself you don’t feel it as you breathe in. That same rope latches around Jungkook’s ankle as you avert your eyes for a brief second before looking back at him with a small sigh. “Do you want breakfast? I know how you get when you have a hangover.”
He smiles for the first time, charming as always, looking up at you through the subtle waves in his hair. “I probably shouldn’t.”
You know this. He definitely shouldn’t because breakfast will turn into words exchanged, civil at first, flirty the next, a coin flipped to decide if a petty argument would begin or if you’d reminisce about the good times. Regardless of the outcome, what always followed ended with you moaning out his name as he rocked into you, those same empty promises spilling through his lips that you swallowed with a kiss. 
A brief moment of bliss, a small dose of the past that only serves to hurt you further but you crave it, loving the small rush that came with arguing, the roughness of his hands as he pushed you around before sliding home, burying his face into your neck as he broke you down all over again. 
Normally you’d try to convince him further, but as your mouth opens to protest you get flashes of the night before, how you had carried Jungkook up your flight of stairs, hearing him ramble about nonsense so slurred together you paid it no mind. You would have had him sleep in your bed beside you like you always did but when you fish his phone out and begin to slide his jacket off it buzzes to life. 
Always being nosey you type in his password, smiling when you realize it was still your old anniversary but when you unlock it and see a flood of messages from a girl named Natalie, calling him babe, asking where he was, the smile falls from your face as you start to snoop. 
It doesn’t take much scrolling through their thread of messages to easily discover she was his girlfriend, blissfully unaware that he was shit faced and calling you, confessing to his love for you while she laid at home and wondered if he was having fun with his friends. She reminded you of yourself, of the way you used to be with him and it left a sour feeling on your tongue. 
“Yeah you probably shouldn’t.” 
He stands up now, following you slowly as you approach the door, heavy boots thumping on the hardwood as he reluctantly steps closer to the exit. He doesn’t want to leave, wants you to try to convince him to stay, not knowing that you knew the dirty secret he was hiding buried in his phone. 
You don’t decide to tell him you know, it was pointless. That was just how Jungkook was wired, so much love to give he had to spread it out, give everyone a fair share of it, choosing to pretend he wasn’t being selfish. It was naive to believe it, to think all the love he held was strictly for you, it was why he was able to pull the hood over your eyes so easily. 
Even when you pull the door open and give him a tightlipped smile he knows you’ll still call him, forget all about Natalie when you’re lonely once more. So when you look him in the eyes and sigh, “Goodbye Jungkook.” He knows it’s not for long, maybe a week or so, maybe less. 
He simply smiles, stuffing his hands into his jeans as he shuffles out, turning to face you as he steps backwards. “See you later Y/N.” And his words sting in a way he doesn’t mean, knowing just how right he was. 
Jungkook would never mind how heavy the anchor you hooked on his ankle was because he knew you would forever be a sucker for him. 
As you shut the door behind you it feels like a small weight starts to hang from your shoulders, the same tug starting from your chest, guiding you into your room until you’re pulling out the cursed box and sorting through those damned photos. With stinging eyes you flip through them for a moment, focusing on all the laughs captured on film, blurry vision moving to your phone beside you, hands already itching to call him again. 
It’s as if he knows, still inside your building, lingering in the lobby to give you a moment and it doesn’t take long. Once his phone starts to vibrate he smiles, staring at the photo of you as you call him like clockwork. With a clear of his throat he answers the phone, barely saying hello before he hears a small sniffle through the speaker. 
“I miss you Kookie.” 
Jungkook lets his eyes shut as he presses the elevator button, loving the feeling of being needed by you, already knowing to head back up because this was routine. 
“I know you do baby, I’ll be right up.”
And just like that you’re once again desperately trying to make those stupid puzzle pieces fit together, hoping that maybe this time love would be enough.
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1ddiscourseoftheday · 3 years
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Wed 7 Apr ‘21
Louis left Tulum and went to Mexico City, and we got airport pics from both ends: the gathered fans were told by his bodyguard that they should keep their distance but that yes, pictures would be allowed. Thank you Louis! We got to see him a little for the first time in so long, in videos of him walking by (and getting ready to walk by) and blurry pics of him with his guitar, and Oli and Charlie- I’m excited to someday see the footage of whatever they’re working on. But for now, finally some proper pictures of the long long hair, or at least the below the hat part, all flippy and like...LONG! It’s on his SHOULDERS! Early pics had some interesting shadows around an elbow, prompting a flurry of NeW TaTtoO?? excitement, but when more pics were posted we could see that no, his elbow remains the same, false alarm. Once that tattoo kerfuffle died down the interest refocused on his shirt, which featured- a whole damn pile of skulls!
Louis went through a long phase of wearing skull shirts a while back, and the fact that it was during a period of a lot of very pointed t-shirt messages (and that he kept doing it more than ever despite knowing what we were reading into it) seemed to reinforce the theory that he did in fact mean things by it, and seeing him say yes to fan photos while wearing this shirt for the occasion… well! WELCOME BACK public Louis, we MISSED YOU! Yesterday’s shirt was for the band Obituary- is the band name a nod at the fact that Syco, generally considered to be the main target of previous skull shirts, is now dead and gone (rest in pieces assholes:))? Is Louis drawing attention to the livestream that band did a few days ago for their album ‘The End Complete’, and if so, is that also about Syco or about… something else? Inconclusive, but if we were meant to find their song “End It Now”, that can truly only be about one thing!! Am I to believe that SBB himself, Mr “I like to draw the fans’ attention to the lyrics of things” just, whoopsy, missed that! I mean, you would think every band on earth has lyrics about “ending it“ with the number of times he’s made that mistake, damn… he just never learns. Poor Louis, gosh how embarrassing! Lol. Anyway, I’ve seen people wondering lately what will happen when all the fans that have joined us in this time of lockdown and of no real contact with Louis will react when their version of Louis has to compete with the real one- and him barely being back at all but immediately reminding people that he is not a dad FFS feels like an excellent beginning, this should be good! BUCKLE IN friends! The real Louis is sooo much more fun than the boring made up one, just get ready to enjoy the chaotic energy and trying to keep up with him….
Oh also Louis liked a Snuts tweet about being underdogs as they fight to get the release week UK #1 for their new album, and a charity says they reached out to Louis AND LOTTIE to play in their celeb footie match PLEASE, HOW CUTE WOULD THAT BE? Come on Tomlinsons, say yes!
Liam has a big interview in Glamour to promote his BAFTAS performance! If *I* were doing the piece I would have really gone hard on the Two Liams angle of the performance (in which Liam will be accompanied by a hologram of himself) but alas they are boring and only interviewed one of him- maybe the part where he says “you're on stage, you're a certain type of person, and at home you're a certain type of person” sort of counts? The “that's always something I've really struggled with” makes it not so fun though, but that’s a Liam interview for ya; worrisome and makes you want to hug him a lot. “I didn't actually realize this for a long time, but I often give a little bit too much away,“ he says, and today is no exception. We catch up on the time since last we heard from him, when he told us he was going to take some well-earned time off and try to focus on writing new music; he continues to have difficulty with downtime unfortunately. Oh Liam, I do wish it were easier for you to take a break! He says, “I stopped working and I had a full, proper month off [and that was] really hard. And it was all a bit dark for me for a little bit... not being able to go anywhere, not being able to do anything. It really, really hit home. And I just found myself sat in the same place day in, day out. And I was like, okay, I really do not know what to do with myself” and “for me, learning to relax has always been quite a hard thing to do because I feel like if I'm not moving forward, then I must be going backwards.” He goes on to say “so, in a way it's kind of a blessing in disguise, as this has all kind of taught me to relax a little bit more. And to not be so worried about that, like the world is not going to fall over if I don't do something today,” and I wish I believed him, but that’s Liam’s way, to be like oh I need to add something upbeat and end on a cheerful note! So IDK. He also talks about drinking too much, at the beginning of lockdown especially, and how he’s dealt with it by getting back to working out and dieting. There’s nothing there that he hasn’t talked about before (he’s publicly addressed both his struggles with alcohol dependency and has talked a lot about his disordered eating though he hasn’t himself named it that) but after publication Glamour edited the piece to omit the part about his drinking-- I’m guessing the augmented reality app people didn’t feel it fit their ideal image (sigh). What that leaves is him saying how nice it was to be able to eat what he wanted during lockdown but that having the boundaries and rules in place of restricting his food again has made him feel better about himself, which if you ask me is still plenty distressing. Oh Liam :( <I’ve never wanted to hug someone so bad/ Spongebob meme> On a slightly more cheerful note, he tells us he feels supported and heard by a manager that he’s close to, and by Louis, and that those relationships are good for him (the interviewer does ask about Bear, but financee Maya is not mentioned even once in this article). The piece ends with a startling response to a comment about his upcoming performance: “I'll see you wherever you want me in your house, I guess.”
Niall posted about his Masters (golf) fantasy league and he was seen out and about! He was photographed in London driving a car the size of a house and on the street carrying one of his dozens of different reusable water bottles, with his hair floppy and down- is it a new haircut or just unstyled??- and shorts and little roundish shades. Hello Neil! There was a rumored sighting of Harry in London as well but no pics and like we know he’s there anyway so… shrug. And iHeart award nominations are up, and they’re pitting louies against harries, ouch. Will it be nasty (well when isn’t it even without this voted category, sigh), or will the louies simply steamroller everyone as per usual? Only time will tell, but if so harries can console themselves with their likely wins in the Male Artist of the Year, Best Lyrics (Adore You), and Song of the Year (WS) categories.
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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years
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Let’s talk: Vlive Asks and comment/chat discussions
From @cottoncandykings​: Hello! As u probably know jimin just went live recently and again he mentioned mandaggo and discussing about doing it with tae. I just find it so weird though. I mean jimin keeps constantly mentioning it and its not like vminnies were begging or dying for a vmin live everyday even before jimin mentioned it last year. Even now most including myself dont really care that much ofc i m happy if they do one together. But the way jimin keeps mentioning it is so weird. Like surely if he wanted to do it so badly he could have talked to tae privately and arranged it by now. And if tae is the one that doesnt want to do it then idk why jimin is pushing it. But what was really weird to me this time was that he said there were lots of comments about mandaggo yesterday in zoom call and yet they didnt mention it yesterday but suddenly today without prompting he talks about it. I also hope no one spammed the zoom call chat or the vlive chat with requests for vmin live (i didnt see any) bcoz thats just unnecessary and demanding. I hope vminnies wont demand/ ask for another memeber when one of them is live. Its just disrespectful. This turned into a rant sorry. Do you think it was weird too?
Since Admin 2 can’t type their thoughts themselves, I’ll relay their thoughts to you instead, since they had more thoughts/opinions/ideas in regard to this than I do, to be honest.
Admin 2 is sure that there is a good chance that we will get a vmin vlive sometime soon, which I know contradicts their original opinion and post from a few months ago, but there’s a reason for it. During the zoom meeting between BTS and ARMY they noticed something I don’t think anyone else noticed, or at least neither of us has seen any vminnies mention it anywhere, which in conjunction with Jimin’s vlive today and saying how he’d talk to Tae about doing a mandaggo vlive again, as well as another observation a little while ago, leads them to this conclusion.
So, the observation from the zoom meeting. Basically at one point when the question of Jimin doing a vlive arose Tae looks at Jimin and then he nods while smiling which in turn makes Jimin smile as he turns away from Tae and back to face toward the camera before answering the question and saying how he’ll come visit us the next day. Which he did.
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Then the other observation from a while ago, this one being from their OT7 vlive celebrating their BBH100 #1 on June 29th where at one point Jimin says something but slips into satoori after which Tae encourages him to say that again but this time in the Seoul accent, so the way they actually should speak, which Jimin says isn’t difficult but he doesn’t actually end up repeating what he said.
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And lastly in today’s vlive Jimin mentioned how he’s using satoori quite often but that he isn’t all that good at doing it on command or at teaching it to others, which is something he’d have to do for mandaggo but I’m sure he’d manage just fine if the time came for it.
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Based on that Admin 2′s thoughts are basically that Jimin really meant it when he said, last year, that he’ll bring Tae around for a vlive, that it wasn’t a joke or a way to tease us with something he knew he wouldn’t be able to deliver, but rather that up until this point they weren’t quite sure how to do it. Which sounds a bit odd, I know, but what they mean is that if vmin were to just sit down in front of the camera and were supposed to just talk based on what the chat would give them, it would likely just turn out awkward and weird and no one, including them, would really have fun. Even more so when we take into account how idiotic the chat is during regular vlives so now imagine if those two were to do one together that’s just a casual chat. It would likely end up in disaster and honestly I wouldn’t wish it upon them to read all those awful comments that they would likely get, even worse ones than they already get normally, to be honest.
But now that the whole satoori thing was brought up, and Jimin actually mentioned mandaggo and wanting to bring it back after so many years, Admin 2 thinks that they must’ve finally figured out a solution to their problem, if you can call it that. Doing mandaggo would basically mean they would have an activity, something to do similar to how they did those ASMR videos for the Japanese Fan Club which were fun and cute, and so Admin 2 thinks that perhaps chances are we will finally get the vlive we’ve waited for so long (though like many others I’ve long given up the idea).
Another confirmation is that during his vlive today Jimin basically said that he only came by for a little while since they are quite busy and had to soon get ready for work with the other members but that he’ll return in two or three weeks for a more proper, longer, vlive. So, he could’ve treated today’s vlive as the promised one but instead he saw it more as a bridging one between the zoom meeting and the proper vlive he wants to do, so is it the farfetched to think that he had proper plans for a vlive, like doing mandaggo, but it just wouldn’t have worked out time wise today so he moved the actual vlive he wanted to make to a later date?
One last thing (well two actually) that has nothing to do with this question but Admin 2 wanted me to include it anyway is that one, have you noticed how Tae and Jimin were both on weverse around 3 am (until almost 4am (also both of them posting a comment to some post at 03:41 am KST)) one after the other (though with one day of a break in between them) recently and then also two, that Jimin was up until like 6 am (since he posted on weverse around that time) on the 8th and then during the zoom meeting Tae answered a question by saying that he’d been awake until 6 am the previous day (also the 8th) since he wanted to see the sunrise? Which is also something an anon mentioned to us. Curious, isn’t it?
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From anon: I request both admins to please post this ask. So jimin wwnt live today and one of the accounts on twt posted a screen cap of them commenting 'touch your hair if vmin is real' in the live chat and jimin's reaction to it. Now idk if it is an edit or real. No matter i just want to say its not ok to bring up ships in front of the members no matter which ship it is. We dont know the reality of their relationship so lets not make them uncomfortable. Its not a joke. Its not funny. Be respectful the members are real people.
(Admin 1 taking over from this point onward) This ask nicely ties into the last one that’ll be further down in this post since they cover a similar issue of sorts. But let’s start with this one asking about, essentially, vlive comments and the things fans ask/comment, which also ties in with the above ask as well.
The thing with the vlive chat, and especially comments/questions that are like anon said, questions or “commands/requests” about touch your hair if XYZ ship is real or cough twice if you love XYZ member or, likewise, comments such as where is XYZ member or what are the other members doing, unfortunately those have been a steady and unchanging part of the vlive chat since basically forever. It’s been an issue on and off with different intensities though I feel like it’s gotten worse again this year. Particularly if we look back at the vlive Tae did with Hobi and Yoongi and how essentially the entire chat was filled with comments related to Xkook and not much else.
If my memory doesn’t fail me we once even had a situation some years ago (2016) where the chat during Hobi’s vlive was so bad, as in so full of questions about that other members instead of him, that you could see he was upset about it and eventually he handed over the vlive to Jimin, whom the chat had requested Hobi to visit, and Hobi just left. And I can’t blame him for it since the chat must’ve made him feel like basically no one cared about him so what was even the point of him being there, right?
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Personally I’ve long given up looking at the comments during vlive because they just make me cringe and feel bad for the members, especially when I think back to vlives such as Yoongi’s D2 one last year where he was so excited to talk about the songs and the process of making the mixtape and yet so many of the comments were just unrelated nonsense and annoying request like speak english or can you say my name or say hello in XYZ language. If it makes me question why the people posting those questions are in the chat, why they are fans to begin with, imagine what the members must feel like, how discouraging that must feel like. After all they are musicians and yet so rarely do they get questions about that. Or rather they do get them but they are just drowned out by nonsense. Which is a shame. And also very disrespectful but any attempts that were made to remind people to be respectful, to remember their place as fans, to focus on the member that’s doing the vlive instead of asking about the others, and to keep ships away from the members have failed because some don’t care and will continue to not care.
From anon: what are your opinions on the Qs that were asked during that zoom meeting thing between BTS and ARMY?
Now I’d like to preface my answer to this last question by saying that by no means do my grievances come from a place of jealousy or anything. I’m very happy for all the ARMYs that won their spot, that they got to participate in the event and that BTS got to see ARMYs again even if only on screens and not in person still. No, my issue stems from something completely different, and I don’t want to say that the system chose the wrong people, because that would be mean and also who even knows how the winners were chosen, if it was pure luck or there were some actual criteria that went into the process, but the fact is that only a select 200 ARMYs got that spot out of however many that applied, so basically for some this was a once in a lifetime chance, right, even just getting this close to asking Bangtan a question and have really great chances of having them give you an answer while acknowledging you somewhat instead of just seeing pure words on a screen, you know what I mean?
Now imagine you are one of those 200 ARMYs and you get the chance to fill the chat with questions along with the other 49 participants of your session and you decide that asking questions such as what it’s like for Jimin to work as angel, if Namjoon ever broke a bicycle, or why JK smells the crowns of the other members heads? Or even worse, you decide to ask about JKs shower routine and in which order he washes his body? And sure, the “fault” doesn’t fall completely on the ARMYs alone, after all it’s the members who read out those questions and not some magical off screen entity, and since I wasn’t part of the event I can’t say with a hundred percent certainty that no one asked any “proper” questions, but if those were the questions that ended up being read out loud, is it that hard to guess that likely all the questions looked similarly? 
Which brings me to my main grievance of it all: have you forgotten that you are fans of musicians and not reality TV stars or vloggers/influencers? I know there were likely no rules for what questions you could or couldn’t ask (except for probably ones that were 100% about shipping or far too personal), but really, you get to ask your favorite band a question, something you might never, ever get the chance to do again, and your first thought isn’t to ask about their music but instead about some unimportant nonsense like the angel question or if they differentiate between the clothes they wear at home and those they sleep in? Like sure the angel one was kinda funny, maybe, and Jimin handled it in a cute way, I applaud him for it, but was that really necessary?
I know someone asked JK about Decalcomania, as well as Tae about his mixtape, and Yoongi/Jimin about Tony Montana (season 2), but other than that were there any other questions about their music? Perhaps I’m overthinking things, maybe I’m exaggerating and maybe I’m the only one who sees an issue with this, but if I would’ve won a spot, I’d rather have asked something about their process when writing lyrics or creating beats or how they prepare when learning new choreographies, what it’s like to be on tour (though perhaps that would be a mean question seeing as tours aren’t really something that’ll continue being possible for a while still), you get the point.
It makes me wonder if it was just bad luck or if it had something to do with how old the participants were (I saw some being as young as fifteen), which isn’t to say that teens can’t ask smart questions because they definitely can just like adults can ask stupid ones as well, but somewhere something, in my opinion, just went weirdly. And maybe that was the point of it all, for the event to be casual, funny, lighthearted, but my question then is when is the time for music discussions? For fans to ask those types of questions that actually have something to do with the boys careers? When even journalists aren’t asking them proper questions, ARMYs aren’t either, so what is the point of it all then?
Then again, after the event concluded and Seokjin came onto vlive he seemed so happy and excited, so maybe they had fun (I mean they seemed to have fun) and didn’t mind at all that the questions were lighthearted and silly, maybe I’m the one making mountains out of molehills. I don’t know, but anon wanted to know my thoughts/opinions, and this is them. Once again, I don’t mean to be mean toward the ARMYs that got rightfully in, that won, and I don’t want to insult them for the questions they asked, perhaps I just expected/hoped for something a little different? And perhaps I’m the only one. I don’t know. 
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Irresistible Danger - Part 60
Synopsis:  After being caught outside the compound on your own, Negan decides to punish you in the best way possible ;)
Words: 3,229
Warnings: nsfw, smut, swearing
ID Masterlist can be found HERE
Masterlist of all my fics can be found HERE
Author’s Note: We’re back! Omg y’all...I finally have a path to the ending for this fic! After this chapter, I’m planning for there to be 5 more chapters until the end, which will give ID a total of 65 chapters. I’m still working on writing and editing these last chapters, but I’m pretty confident in that timeline :D I also plan to post each Friday again, so there should be chapters now through September 10th, if all goes according to plan. 
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PDA
You woke with a smile the next morning, partially because of the happiness filling your chest like a balloon. The other part was because the warm body behind you, accompanied by a rasp of beard on your shoulder and soft lips on your neck, signalled that you weren’t alone. 
The florid orange rays coming in the large windows told you that it was still early, the sun barely risen above the horizon. Turning over onto your other side to face Negan, you took in his tousled hair and heavy-lidded gaze. 
“Mornin’ doll,” he said, voice raspy with sleep. 
“Morning,” you whispered back, pressing a kiss to his irresistible mouth. “No crack-of-dawn meetings today?”
His lips quirked against yours. “Nope, thank fuck,” he murmured, before rolling atop you and spending a good portion of the morning taking you apart with pleasure, then putting you back together piece by piece with cuddles and toe-curling kisses. 
When he later glanced over at the clock and saw that it was almost 10am, he gave a groan and flopped onto his back with a forearm covering his eyes. “Much as I’d love to stay here all day, I gotta go with a couple Saviors to check out one of the nearby outposts. They reported some concerns about their fucking security measures, and also requested a few more men be stationed out there to help divvy up their shifts, so I wanna go see if there’s any fucking issues for myself.”
While you felt a tiny thrill that he was so willing to tell you this information, to let you know about his duties as leader, you also had a moment of worry about him possibly assigning more men out to work the outpost. “Is that the one you brought Simon in from a couple weeks ago?” 
Knowing exactly where your thoughts were headed, he said, “Don’t get your fucking panties in a bunch, doll. If the outpost needs more hands, I was planning to send a couple of my newer Saviors.”
Pleased at this response, you smiled and leaned in close so your mouth was hovering mere millimeters from his, before whispering, “I’m not wearing any panties to get in a bunch.” 
Before he could react, you rolled out of the bed and strode to the bathroom, putting a little extra swing to your hips. The growl and unmistakable rustling sound of sheets being thrown off was your only warning before Negan scooped you up into his arms and marched into the bathroom. 
An hour later and you were both sufficiently clean (after first getting extra dirty against the shower wall), and you saw Negan off from his rooms with a kiss and warning to be careful. He gave an arrogant smirk at that, which got him an eye roll and playful shake of your head as a response. 
You watched as he strode down the hall towards the staircase, shoulders encased in leather and his whistle echoing off the walls. While they’d never dare ask him about it, you couldn’t help but give a little smile at the thought of his men wondering why the hell their usually punctual leader was almost ten minutes late to leave for the outpost...and why he seemed so happy about it.
~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~
Unable to contain your excitement over the events of the night before, you headed over to Ben’s room not long after Negan left. Thankfully he was there, having just returned from finishing up serving breakfast. His roommate was out this time, so you were able to huddle across from one another on his bottom bunk and catch him up on your conversation with Negan.
Ben listened intently, mouth slowly falling further and further open as you went on. When you got to the part about Negan admitting he wanted only you, and called you his partner, Ben let out a whoop of joy and threw his arms around you in a hug. 
“I knew it!” he exclaimed. “That big lug is head over heels for you.” 
The two of you chatted happily for a bit, before you left and wandered back down to your own room. It had felt like forever since you had a chunk of time to just relax in your bed without over analyzing or stressing over something Negan-related. Gone was the weight of that padlocked box of questions, which made both your brain and subconscious very happy. The three of you snuggled up on the bed and spent the next couple of hours finishing your re-read of Harry Potter before it was time to head down to the kitchen for dinner prep. 
Today’s menu consisted of lasagna using leftover deer meat thawed from the freezer, with the signature side of rolls. Trixie had unofficially promoted herself as being in charge of roll duty, making sure the dough was the right consistency and the ovens at the perfect baking temperature. She wasn’t rude about it, but the little bit of authority she showed when instructing another staff member how to properly knead the dough seemed to fulfill her need to be seen as a knowledgeable and important part of the staff. And in all honesty, none of her feedback to the others was incorrect, so rather than reprimand her or say she was out of line, you had caught her eye at one point and given an almost imperceptible nod of approval. This caused her smile to beam so bright that it was a wonder you didn’t need sunglasses. 
As it turned out, you weren’t the only one who had noticed Trixie’s presence and been keeping a stealthy eye on her. Andrew, a member of the food prep crew, had been not-so-subtly following Trixie with his gaze lately, and today was no exception. He was an attractive man in his early 20s with shoulder-length black hair and kind brown eyes, a much more appropriate candidate for Trixie than her previous choice.
It seemed safe to say that Trixie was aware of the attention as well, as she found every reason possible to flounce past where Andrew was busy loading trays of lasagna into an oven. At one point, she even stopped to chat briefly with him, and out of the corner of your eye you saw her toss back her head and laugh at something he said. If it seemed a bit overly dramatic to you, well, Andrew didn’t seem to mind. In fact, her reaction caused him to fumble with the tray of pasta he was holding, almost spilling the entire thing onto the ground. He thankfully saved it at the last second, otherwise you would’ve had to interrupt and lecture the two of them about focusing on their work and not chit-chatting. And you didn’t want to do that, not when Trixie finally seemed interested in a guy more her age who was actually available and seemed to genuinely like her. 
Despite your initial tension with Trixie, you now realized that she had just been struggling to find where she fit in, to feel like an important part of the community. She’d initially been scooped up and led astray by Amber, but thankfully she had found her way back on the correct path and was making progress at getting along with the others, rather than isolating herself and using condescension as an emotional wall. Someone like Andrew, who was kind-hearted and considerate, not to mention absolutely captivated by her, was exactly what she needed. 
Focusing your attention away from young romance and back to meal prep, you spent the next forty-five minutes making sure everything was baked to perfection before sending out the first trays of lasagna and rolls. However, your mind kept randomly returning to Negan, almost unable to contain a secret smile each time you remembered where the two of you now stood. The usual worry and second-guessing had been replaced by the stability of knowing how he felt, and each time you remembered his words from last night a flutter of butterflies went off in your stomach. 
Negan had told you this morning that the outpost he and a small team of men were going to was less than an hour’s drive from the Sanctuary, so he planned to be back around dinnertime. Sure enough, about 20 minutes into when the first round of food was being served, you saw a small group of Saviors enter the cafeteria and settle down at a table. You guessed that they were the ones who had been out on the mini mission, and breathed a sigh of relief at seeing them back safely and with jovial expressions on their faces. You could always tell when things went wrong on a run, due to the overall aura of the men who returned, but this time they were smiling and talking animatedly with one another. Hopefully this also meant that Negan was in a happy, and perhaps affectionate, mood when you went to visit him later...
It was as if your thoughts had conjured the man himself. You were out in the cafeteria with a large water pitcher, making rounds to refill empty glasses for people, when a hush in conversation made you still and look up.
And there he was, standing at the entrance to the cafeteria with his signature leather jacket unzipped just enough so that the edge of a white tee peeked out over the top. He scanned over the tables like a king surveying his domain, looking both intimidating and absolutely delicious with the arrogant way he held himself, as if he had no cares in the world but was also ready to take on anything.
When his eyes landed on you, those sinful lips quirked upwards at the edges, and you swore that even from the distance of half a cafeteria you could see his golden gaze light up at the sight of you. He moved, striding with determination and purpose to close the space between your bodies. The breath caught in your chest at his beauty, at the raw masculinity and almost animal magnetism that surrounded him. 
He stopped mere inches away, and you gazed up at him in both welcome and a bit of confusion. Trying to act calm and unaffected, and not show how much you wanted to grin and launch yourself at him, you said, “Welcome back.” 
Your eyebrow cocked in question when he shook his head with a low chuckle. “Oh no, doll, that won’t do at all.” And with that, he wrapped an arm around your waist and lowered his head...
And kissed you in front of the entire Sanctuary. 
A wave of shock jolted through you, at the same time as your body automatically responded, molding itself to his. Your brain was flatlined on the floor from the unexpected move, while your subconscious ran around it in circles screaming with excitement. 
You could practically feel all the astonished stares from community members, as they watched their all-powerful leader break one of his cardinal rules and kiss you to within an inch of your life. And dear god, what a kiss it was! His lips were firm yet gentle, his tongue just barely tracing your bottom lip, as if he couldn’t help but steal a little taste. He wasn’t holding back, and the primal part of you recognized that he was publicly staking his claim for all to see. There could be no question after this moment that you were his, and that he wanted everyone to know it. 
When he finally pulled back, you could only look up at him with what must’ve been an utterly dazed expression, if his pleased smirk was anything to go by. Glancing to his left and then right, his brow furrowed and expression turned serious as he bellowed, “What the fuck are you all looking at?”
His words had the desired effect, as eyes dropped back to their plates and the community stuttered back to action, obviously trying and failing to act like something monumental didn’t just happen. You’d have given a lot of points to know what they were all thinking, but you didn’t see any angry expressionsand no one had said anything or acted out of line, so hopefully that was a good sign. 
Negan’s warm hand rubbed comfortingly up your bare arm, and it was then that you noticed he didn’t have his gloves on. That also sparked the realization that he wasn’t carrying Lucille, which was strange since he always had her on his person when making an appearance in front of the community. 
Now that you’re thinking about it, did he even have her this morning, when he left?
You thought back to when you had kissed him goodbye and watched as he walked down the hallway. Surely he’d have taken her with him to the outpost...but you honestly couldn’t remember seeing her up over his shoulder. You had to just be forgetting, because there was no way he’d leave her behind. 
That train of thought was brought to a halt when the hand on your arm trailed down along your waist and settled possessively on your hip. “I wanted to put in a request for one of your staff members to bring two servings of dinner to my room, for Simon and yours truly.” 
Before you could ask if he needed time alone once you were done with dinner, he provided the answer. “We need to go over the fucking outpost inspection results, but I’ll come and find you once it’s done.” It was the second time he’d done that today, answering a question before you had the chance to voice it out loud, which was a sign of how well he was coming to predict your thought process. 
You were still a bit in shock at all of this, especially how he was discussing his evening plan with you so publicly and audibly, as if to show that you were more than just his in a physical sense. He was broadcasting to the community that you were what he had already told you last night: his partner. His voice had been low enough that only the nearby tables would’ve heard, but you knew every moment of this interaction would be spread across the entire community within minutes after he left. 
Giving a smile and trying to look like ‘yep, this is completely normal, no big deal, I am totally not internally screaming with joy and wanting to climb his fine ass like a tree’, you replied, “Of course. I’ll have it sent up immediately.”
“Thanks, doll,” he said with a final smirk. Then his face morphed back into the intense, badass expression of the Sanctuary’s leader, and he strode out of the cafeteria. 
You were left standing there, still a bit shell-shocked by what had just occurred, but also giddy as hell over it. That emotional high was only slightly dimmed by the awareness that now, with Negan gone, you were the sole center of everyone’s attention. A quick scan of the cafeteria showed that most community members were trying not to openly stare. However, the lack of chewing and frequent side glances thrown your way as your legs finally unfroze and started back towards the kitchen were proof that they had all seen Negan’s display of affection. 
While the rest of the community might’ve at least been making a feeble attempt not to obviously stare, the same couldn’t be said of the kitchen staff. At least a couple of them must’ve witnessed what happened when serving trays of food, and those members must’ve scurried back to the kitchen to report it to the others. Every single one of them was staring in wide-eyed silence with a mixture of shock and fascinated curiosity when you walked back through the swinging doors. 
Even though your face felt heated and you were a bit off-kilter, you still managed to sound slightly firm when announcing, “Alright folks, back to work. And no, I don’t want to talk about it.”
You breathed a sigh of relief when they didn’t argue, but a couple of them did give knowing grins, Trixie included, though at least they all seemed good-natured about it. Trying to act as though your world hadn’t just been spun off its axis with that public kiss, you went over to Ben, who was the only one that had stayed fairly composed the entire time. In fact, his eyes danced with mirth and he was obviously trying to hold back a smirk, so you felt only minimally evil when telling him of Negan’s request that two servings of dinner be taken up to his rooms for him and Simon. Ben gave a playful glare when you told him to take up the food himself, saying it loud enough that some others heard, making him unable to say no without looking a bit suspect. 
When the tray was ready to go a few minutes later, you quietly murmured to Ben as he passed by on his way out of the kitchen, “Say hi to Simon for me.” The words caused a hint of pink to flare in his cheeks as he gave a halfhearted glare. You almost felt guilty for teasing him, but knew Ben would more than forgive you when Negan came through on his promise to get Simon his own room.  
Though the kitchen staff still threw glances your way here and there, they quickly fell back into their usual routine and no one made any direct comments. You were safe from scrutiny...at least for now. At least no one seemed to have any extreme concerns about what had happened, making you wonder how many of them had suspected what was going on between you and Negan before now.
Once dinner and cleanup were over, you headed back up to your room. Negan had said he would come find you when he was ready, so you planned to just lay back and relax until then. 
Oh, who were you kidding. After that kiss, you were totally going to sit on your bed and think about all the dirty things you wanted to do to him the moment the two of you were alone. 
Trying to convince yourself that you could be at least semi-productive and pretend to have a hobby other than fantasizing about the leader of the Sanctuary, you pulled the copy of Harry Potter off your bedside table. You were just opening to the first page, planning to restart it again from the beginning, when a firm knock sounded at your door. 
Pulse jumping with excitement, you rose from the bed and didn’t even hesitate to cross the room and reach for the doorknob. It never occurred to you that it might be anyone other than Negan, let alone for it to be the last person you’d have ever expected to see at your door. But things had been going so well today that it was almost as if fate was bored with your happiness and wanted to add some drama to the mix. 
Totally ignoring the warning prickle that ran up your spine, you opened the door with a welcome smile. It quickly died on your lips at the sight of who was standing on the other side, hands on hips and eyes throwing daggers your way. 
It was Amber...and she looked pissed.
~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~
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mrskurono · 3 years
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a/n: this is the first installment(?) of the Nori brain rot from ages ago w/a Studio Ghibli vibe, idk man this just happened word count: 2.2k tags: post!Shibuya arc, possible spoilers, blood, violence, cursing(?), heavily Hoizer inspired, kinda edited character(s): Noritoshi Kamo, fem!sorcerer reader pt ll
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Curses stank. 
In a metaphorical sense yes. But also in a literal sense for you. 
These twisted beings permeated your senses like a rot that you could never rid. Unless exorcised they stuck around in your nostril for days. Each one a different smell but all of them stuck in your craw all the same. 
Beasts of rancid nature in behaviors and looks. Nothing more than to be exorcised by sorcerers. You learned quickly that exorcising the curses was no different than taking out week old trash. 
What you hadn’t planned on was someone doing more than dumping trash on the world. Whatever had happened. Suddenly you were faced with more than just dutiful tasks of keeping non sorcerers safe. A monsoon of trash had been dumped not only on you. But every human in this world. 
Your nostrils burned. And you couldn’t be rid of these things quick enough. Each one you exorcised only meant two or three popped up in their place. Never ending. You couldn’t stomach this smell though. It wouldn’t kill you before you got a breath of fresh air.
Glancing around you take a deep breath. Mountain air on the outskirts of Kyoto during this time of year always meant a refreshing break from the city stank. What you smelled wasn’t refreshing. It was that same vile smell you could clearly recall. 
A curse. One that was close too.
To thread carefully was to perhaps save your life. Every aspect of daily life ripped from you. As well of millions of others. You had done your part to try and protect those around you. Soon finding it in slight vain as you sought out some place to find your own breath of fresh air in this madness. 
‘It’s close....I feel like I’m gonna hurl.’ Thoughts toying with where the curse might have hidden itself. You keep a firm grip on your hilt with every intent to draw it the second the creature made the mistake of slipping up. 
Where you could smell it lurking. There was something else. Almost metallic in scent. You ignored it though. Nothing over powered the scent of a curse. You longed for just the sight of these things. Told over and over again how handy it was to have more than one sense open to curses. Each and every time you took a whiff of one, it made you wish nothing more than to just be able to see these creatures instead of smell them as well.
‘Wait-’ Every alarm in your body went off. Snapping around you couldn’t smell the rancid putridness of the curse anymore. That same metallic scent hung around though. You couldn’t identify it. It was something you’d never smelt before but also so familiar. 
Each hair on the back of your neck rose. This was an old deserted Buddhist temple. No one should have been here except you and the curse ransacking the place. A safe haven or so you thought. When your instinct told you to step behind one of the structural beams. You were suddenly glad you did.
Mere inches from your face, the gust of an arrow whistled past you. Weapons were not used by curses. Now you understood. That smell was human.
Quick to defend yourself, with sword drawn, you didn’t expect the same arrow to make a hard one eighty back in the direction you were. No wooden pillar to save you now. You raise your sword just quick enough to sheer the object in half. Rendering what ever power it was imbued with useless. As it had sped past you though the faint smell of iron suddenly became strong. Whatever it was from had a source. Likely human.
Not ready to give up your ideal hiding place to some interloper. You take only a second to focus on the unfamiliar smell. Faint. And not like a curse. There was something towards the back of the temple though that hinted that they were lurking where you couldn’t see them.
With an idea of where the attack would come from. When another arrow came flying by you from a faceless source, you were ready. Smacking it down before the enchanted weapon could turn on you like the first had. This time though you’d seen what angle the projectile was fired from.
‘Gotcha,’ No shortage of ways around a deteriorated temple like this. You duck down through a few broken beams and make your way up to where the attack came from. 
Expecting to have but a lowly sniper sitting with no way to guard themselves. You find no one. But the scent lingered. Scrutinizing it closer you decided maybe to use a different sense, “...Hey, I know you’re not a curse! Neither am I! Maybe if you just-” Words cut off by another arrow whizzing past you. There was nothing ruder than being interrupted. Glowering in the direction that the arrow came from now you tightened you grip on your sword, “Ok! I get it- Strangers we might not-”
Another arrow. This time too close to your head for comfort. You lost your patience with the third one. 
Recklessly charging towards the assailant was clearly enough to throw their game off track. Swinging your weapon before seeing what it was to lie before you. It was a surprise when your blade met with the dull thud of the wooden limb of a bow. 
“What the-” You attack deflected for the moment being. Your first instinct is to jump back from whoever deflected your attack. In close enough range you thought you had the upper hand to avoid the bow. But that was purely lazy thinking on your part as the cause of the stank of iron became clear.
“Slicing exorcism!” This nobody who reeked of iron shot what looked to be a shuriken made of blood at you. 
No time to be disgusted. An overwhelming scent of blood made it apparent what you’d been smelling. It wasn’t a simple metal. It was blood.
“Oh- Oh!” You raise your blade up in the nick of time to just get the splatter of cold liquid on your cheeks. Disgusted in passing you have no time to dwell as the stranger before you makes to dart away. With their head of dark hair in your line of sight, you weren’t ready to try and re-find them once again in this maze of debris.
Lurching forward you feel the upper hand stall when they stopped your attack once more with the brute of their bow. Clear view of them now. The man who’d clearly fired the arrows was all but composed when shaking off your attack. No way to not suspect another sorcerer caught up in this giant trash heap of curse attacks. You still have no time to play nice when they hurl another blood conjured weapon at you.
In such suddenness you are less lucky than you have been. This one catching your cheek and causing a sting to spread throughout the skin of your face. Fed up with this game you don’t care if he’s a sorcerer or not. This was a one for all situation now that you intended to win.
Firm foot hold found. You realize the man has cornered himself at this point. Range attacks out of the question. Undoubtedly giving you the upper hand now. With a hefty swing of your sword and the first time you’d channeled any energy into at all. You bring it down like a guillotine. Ready to strike flesh. Instead the snap of the bow is your first sign of an upper hand. 
All but trash the man throws it aside but too slowly. You’re on him before the range attacker can pull that weird blood trick again. Slight intent to kill as if he were a curse. You swipe your foot down and knock him down to the temple floor with a hard thud.
You waste no time between the moment his head hit the ground and your above him. Tip of your blade pressed to his neck. One breath too deep from him and the sharp tip would pierce his pale skin. Eyes fixated down on him you realize in the moments after your adrenaline fades that he’s staring right up at you.
Sharp tongue your words come out curt only to be interruped right away, “Who are-”
“Another sorcerer-” His eyes open from the slits they’d remained in the skirmish, “What are you doing here? How did you-”
“I get to ask the questions!” You snarl, jabbing his throat with your sword just enough to watch a crimson bead peak from under the tip of your weapon, “You attacked me, what are you doing up here? Why were you-”
“...you’re so pretty-” Suddenly his eyes open wide realizing what he said, “Wait I didn’t-”
“Shut up or I’ll cut your throat out!” Your sword pressing uncomfortably into the side of his neck now, “I asked you a question! Why are you up here!?”
“Kamo-”
“What? What are you-”
“Kamo family!” He quickly sputtered, “Head of the Kamo family!”
The name rang a bell somewhere in your frazzled brain.
“I’m the head-” He suddenly registered really the blade to his neck, “I’m looking for stragglers-”
“In an abandoned temple?” You weren’t buying it. 
“My people live just down the hill,” He spoke earnestly, “I had to keep the stragglers safe when the curses released from their seals in the keep. Some where up here but-”
“I killed them,” You glared down at him, “I killed all but the one you shot. How long were you up here? Were you following me?”
A shake of his head even as he stared at the glimmer of your sword, “No. I was looking for anyone who came up here. I didn’t expect to find another sorcerer. I felt your cursed energy and assumed you were a curse.”
Eyes narrowing you didn’t like the sound of something so simple to this pretty face, “...I don’t believe you. Give me a reason I shouldn’t kill you right now or else-”
“Noritoshi-” He blurted out, “Noritoshi Kamo. Head of the Kamo family. I can give you some place safe to stay. I don’t understand what’s going on but-”
You lift the blade from his throat. Something about the diligent tone in his voice. Like he’d introduced himself like that a million times. You could kill him but it seemed a waste. Weapon retracted but no offer to help him up. You stand above him with a confounded glare, “...do you know what’s happening?”
His head shook and your stomach dropped. Noritoshi didn’t get up. Only propping himself up slightly when he realized the back of his head was thumping from the impact, “....A special grade curse released a powerful seal in Shibuya about two weeks ago...I saw but....” His face became somber and he shook his head once again, “...I don’t know what’s been going on. I just know things are in disarray and it’s my duty to protect my people.”
Once more you were skeptical but with how little rest you’d gotten in the past few days due to the tremendous increase in curses. This man’s words seemed as solid as any other theory you’d heard. More so than the plea of non sorcerer’s you listened to day in and day out about the end of times. 
“...Has the Jujutsu elders said anything?” You step off him completely. If he was speaking the truth maybe he knew what was going on as an actual heir to one of the clans.
Noritoshi looked up at you a moment longer, “No...there’s been a wide emergency notice to do what you can but our numbers....” He grew quiet, “...as many sorcerers seem to be dying as the rest of Japan.”
Perhaps the end of times were coming. You grip your sword hilt tight and take a deep breath, “....seems a angel of death is coming then whether we like it or not.”
“You’re a sorcerer.” He began to get to his feet, “Please, come with me. If anything to stay away from here. There is a grave yard on the other side of the thicket. More curses will come. No one should be here even as a sorcerer yourself.”
First hand you’d seen the influx he spoke of. From every direction. While out of the city provided some safety you knew that this place left you as vulnerable as any other if you stayed alone. With no words to be spoken of from the elders. And an age of curses threatening to crowd out humans. Like a trash pile reaching it’s capacity. You didn’t see much choice in this one.
“...I will kill you if I find out you’re lying to me.” Voice firm without breaking eye contact with him as you sheath your sword, “I smell one curse in this safe space of yours and I’ll-”
“Kill me, yes,” Noritoshi nodded with both busted ends of his bow in his hands as he looked on at you, “I am not lying but if you see fit, I’ll accept you as my angel of death then.”
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a/n: I have one wine cooler in me as I finish this. This might be a multi part if the inspiration finds me. Anyways, um, yeah! This is an old idea coming so pls let me know if you liked it!
234 notes · View notes
miastideclock · 3 years
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Stray Kids Reaction To Their Relationships Accidentally Going Public
@babybouille​ asked
Hi there ~ ! I saw that your request are open ? If possible can I please have a skz reaction for when their relationship with their s/o accidently goes public ? Thanks :)
-
Can do, love!
Word Count: 4,6k Warnings: sorry this took so long, not really a warning bUT YOU GET IT
Bang Chan
“What kind of spoiler? You will see it later. Recently what has everyone been up to these days? I’ve been working out a lot. Like, I’ve been eating salads. I want to build up my body-” Chan answered as he read the questions out loud.
Chan and Felix were sat on each their chair in Chan’s studio, talking to the fans via Chan’s weekly livestream. However, you had completely forgotten this. As you and Chan had been dating for almost six months, you probably should know this by now, but what can you do. 
You knocked gently before opening the door, instantly closing it back up when you saw what they were doing. Luckily, the camera was at such an angle that you couldn’t see the door. 
Chan jumped in his seat, as did Felix. “Hold on one moment you guys, I just need to mute our mic for a second.” The older Aussie spoke into the camera before clicking a few buttons. Chan then got out halfway out of frame, to the point where you could just see from the waist down on the left side of his body. From where he was standing, he could reach the door, so he opened it back up to find you standing there with a sheepish smile on your face. 
“I am so sorry! I completely forgot!” You instantly apologized to both your boyfriend and your friend. As you leaned gently to the side to see past Chan, Felix chuckled, waving it off saying it was an honest mistake. “Did anyone see me?”
Even though you and Chan had dated as long as you had, the public had yet to find out. Originally, Chan was under a strict dating-ban, but after a few weeks of convincing, the management agreed to let you date, but only if you kept it a secret, and if you worked at the company. That way no one would be suspicious of you entered and left the building at free will. 
“No, no one saw you babe- we’re good.” Chan chuckled and leaned forward to kiss you, jokingly making kissy noises as he came closer, mostly to gross out Felix, but also because the two of you genuinely found it funny to act like those super-gross couples. 
“I just wanted to let you know that I’m headed to the store, you boys want anything?” You asked, but as both the boys said no, their phones started vibrating like crazy. Felix grabbed his from the table they were sitting at, his face first confused, then a look of panic struck him. He instantly motioned for you and your boyfriend to be quiet as he grabbed the mouse and started clicking around the screen. He ended the live. 
“Mate. You didn’t mute yourself.” Felix breathed once Chan asked what all the commotion was about. Chan’s blood ran cold as he realized what that meant. You instantly pulled out your phone and went to the VLIVE app to see the ending of their stream, and sure enough. Kissy sounds, loving nicknames, Felix saying you were cute together. It was all there. 
“I guess we’re official then?” Chan sighed as he looked at you, scared of how you would react.
“Oh thank god!”
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Lee Know
“You excited for the set tonight?” You asked softly as you sat on your boyfriends lap. He gently brushed his hands through your hair as he hummed a reply. 
“Yeah, it has been so long it feels like. But when you really do the math it really isn’t that bad.” Minho replied, the playing of your hair never stopping. You had enjoyed having your boyfriend to yourself for a while, but you knew how much he loved working and being on stage, so you didn’t mind giving him up to his members for a while.
You and Minho had been dating for about a year at this point, but you had yet to go public. The only people who knew were his members, and their management team. Or so you thought.
“Hyung, don’t kill me!” Seungmin ran over to the couch you were sat on in the greenroom, his make-up perfectly done and his outfit matching Minho’s. Minho sat up straighter, making you look up from where you had your face nuzzled into his chest. 
“Then don’t give me a reason?” Minho spoke, asking more than anything. Seungmin looked genuinely panicked, and you soon grew concerned for the boy. You had seen him get worried over dumb things before, but never like this. 
“I posted on Instagram. I didn’t see until I read the comments, but by then it was too late- I deleted it, but the fans are too fast.” He stumbled over his words and stuttered, almost as if he had just ran a marathon. 
“Seungmin, calm down. What was it about the picture?” Minho was now also concerned for the well-being of his member, genuinely worried he would have an anxiety attack. 
“You and Y/N are in it.” He breathed and showed you his phone. The screen showed his selfie, very cute picture. But if you zoomed in, you could see you and your boyfriend, cuddling, being mid-kiss. Unluckily for you, the quality was good enough to where you could definitely tell it was Minho. 
You inhaled a sharp breath of air, and instinctively looked to see Minho’s reactions- but it was impossible to read him. Was he happy? Stressed? Angry? Sad? Even with a gun to your head, you couldn’t give an answer. 
“I mean..” He started, not sounding very upset. “If it’s already out there, management can’t really force us to keep it a secret anymore, right?” He asked Seungmin what his opinion on the matter was, but he was at a loss for words. You had to side with Seungmin on this one, as it was a thing anyone would be angry at. 
When all Seungmin could do was stutter out inaudible sounds, Minho turned to one of the managers that had just entered the room. “Am I in trouble?” He asked calmly, and much to everyone's surprise, the manager shook his head. 
“No, but just meet with us in the conference room when we get back, so we can talk about where you can go and stuff.” He said, making you and Minho nod.
“That went well.”
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Changbin
You smiled slightly as you smelled the freshly popped popcorn, the salty and buttery smell filling your nose. While humming gently to yourself as you poured the snacks out of the bag and into a bowl, bopping your head to the beat you heard in your head. “Blurry lines, yeah-yeah. So many, so many-” But you cut yourself off as you heard your show begin in the living room. You softly squealed and ran with the popcorn and your drink.
Your boyfriend Changbin and his group was going on a talk show, and you were so excited to see it. You always loved their live interviews as they always felt more charismatic when nothing was edited out.
“Tonight on Late Later Latest with Bentley™, Stray Kids! Welcome!” The host greeted the boys. They did their intro and got started. The host asked her usual questions, how promotion was going, how it felt being such an up-and-coming group etc etc. After the general questions, she asked more individual question, asking Minho about his dancing (Nat Geo), Felix and Chan about their life in Australia and so on. When she finally went to Changbin, you felt your heart beat proudly. 
You had originally asked management if you could come to the audience of the talk-show and watch, but they sadly denied your request as people might get suspicious. You and Changbin had been dating since forever, but the public didn’t know yet. Management had agreed to let you keep dating, but only if they could expose your relationship at any given moment for promotion purposes. At first you were disgusted with their demands, but you soon understood where they came from, and agreed. 
“So Changbin, what would you say motivates your writing the most?” The host asked, giving him a smile as she did so. 
Changbin nodded and answered, not giving his answer enough thought. “Well, mostly my girlf-” but he cut himself off. “uuh- my members? Maybe my fans?” He stumbled over his words, trying to hide his original answer, but it was too late.
“Were you gonna say girlfriend?” The host asked him in kind of a humoring tone. Changbin then sighed and nodded, this making you choke on your popcorn, sending a few pieces flying as you coughed. You did not expect him to expose your relationship for the whole world to see, this fine Thursday afternoon. 
“Yeah. I guess I have to come clean now, don’t I? Y/N, please don’t kill me.” He sheepishly smiled into the camera and gave you a slight wave, causing you to smile back at him and wave gently, not realizing he couldn’t see you. You then let your and fall into your lap as you giggled at your now public boyfriend.
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Hyunjin
While almost skipping, you made your way down the hallway. Taking turn after turn and up and down hallways and staircases, you finally found what you had been looking for. The loud music gave it away instantly as you entered the room.
in the middle of the floor, looking at himself dancing in the mirror, stood your boyfriend Hyunjin. “Hi baby!” He grinned when he saw you stood there by the door. He stopped dancing and hurried over to you and picked you up to spin you around. “I missed you!”
You had been out of town for about three weeks, so it was with good reason he said what he did. 
“Am I interrupting anything?” You quickly asked, praying that he would say no. He shook his head while copying your grin, finally placing you back on the ground. You took that opportunity to get on your tippy-toes and give him a kiss.
You and Hyunjin had been dating for just under nine months at this point, and your relationship was still as blooming as if was only a few weeks ago you went on your first date. 
At first, you had been forbidden to date, as his idol-contract came with pretty serious and strict rules, but after sneaking around for about half a year, the company finally gave up and let you do whatever you wanted. Hyunjin’s managers were all surprised when you let them know that neither of you wanted to take the relationship public, at least not to begin with. So all the secrecy was completely your own ideas. Hyunjin’s members also agreed to keep you a secret for now, respecting you and Hyunjin’s decisions.
“Would they mind if I stole you for a day date? I was thinking maybe taking you on a picnic right now, and then after we could go to the fair?” You suggested, already having the picnic basket ready in your car parked outside.
“I already told them I would be occupied the day you came home. I just gotta send this to our editor, and he can work his magic or something!” Hyunjin let you know, letting go of your waist to run over to the camera propped up on a tripod. He had been filming a dance practise, something he did every once in a while. 
He clicked the camera and then sat down on the floor next to the laptop the camera was wired to, clicking a few more buttons. After that he cleared out the room, and you were on your way. 
The date was nice, you and Hyunjin catching up, even though you had spoken on the phone every single night while you were away. However, mid-date, Hyunjin got a phone call from his leader. As it was just Chan, he put it on speaker so you could listen in too.
“Hyung! What’s up?” He asked casually, after he had placed the phone back down on the blanket. 
“Hyunjin- did you mean to post that? Cause if yes- hella cute. If not? I’m so sorry, mate.” Bang Chan’s voice was slightly static as he was talking through a phone after all, but that wasn’t what made his statement confusing. 
“What are you talking about?” Both you and Hyunjin said at the same time.
“Oh, Y/N, fitting that you’re here too. But you posted the uncut version of your dance practice to our VLIVE instead of sending it to the editor. Everything is there.. Everything.” He spoke slowly, trying to make sure you and your boyfriend truly understood the consequences.
You looked over at Hyunjin for a second, him being just as confused as you were- all before he looked like he had touched a hot plate, his face lighting up in a grimace. 
“You! You’re in the video! We kiss! And say dating! sHIT-” He started panicking. 
“Baby- slow down. I don’t care if you don’t. Maybe it was time for us to go public anyways- we couldn’t have kept it a secret the rest of our lives, right? I love you, you love me- we can do this.” You spoke in a tone to try to calm him down.
“Yeah, I do love you. We’ll figure it out.” He replied after letting out a sigh of relief. You then leaned in to kiss him but was cut off by someone you had forgotten long ago.
“Awwww, you guys! That was so cu-” BEEP. Hyunjin quickly hung up on Chan even though he was mid-sentence, going back to kissing you.
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Han
“Please don’t ever get a mustache.” You chuckled as you gently stroked the fake beard glued to your boyfriends upper lip. He chuckled as he returned the favor, gently pulling on your fake grandma-glasses.
“I would say the same about your outfit, but I don’t know. This whole grandma look is growing on me.” He joked, you swatting away his hand as he did so. 
“You’re weird.” You laughed at him.
You were currently sat in a boot at a restaurant, trying to enjoy a good meal with your boyfriend. As you still weren’t known to the public yet, despite having dated for almost a year- you had to play dress up. 
You were sat in a dated dress you could find in any grandmother's closet, matched with a shawl draped over your head and granny glasses, covering as much of your face as possible. Your other half was in a suit, distorting his true body-type, a fake mustache and a hat. 
“I don’t know, I preferred the costume where you dressed as a woman.” You snickered, making Jisung roll his eyes and chuckle with you. 
This was in no way shape or form the first time you had dressed up to go out, but it had been some time since the last time you did it. His company didn’t necessarily have anything against your dating, as long as you kept it lowkey. You could go public if you so wished, but if you did- you couldn’t go on dates on massively crowded spots. 
“I liked the one where you were not only a man, but a biker!” Jisung cackled at that one. But before he could say anything else, you both noticed a flash of light in the distance. Your first thought was lightning, but as you were inside a shopping centre, you doubted it.
As you both turned to the source of the light, you saw not only one, but two paparazzis standing by the entrance of the restaurant, taking your pictures.
You then quickly looked up at each other, and then making a run for the door, trying to hide your faces as much as you could. 
Once you made it outside, Jisung grabbed your hand as you still ran, trying to drag you after him. You couldn’t help but laugh at the situation, as it would have to look ridiculous to anyone else. An old couple running at full speed down the shopping mall, as if they were being chased by the police? Iconic. 
Your laugh soon infected Jisung causing him to laugh too, one hand on his hat, the other in yours.
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Felix
“Okay, so- No! I’m not impostor- I’m down by electrical!” Felix defended himself as he spoke into the mic, discussing with the other players on Discord.
Felix was twitch streaming as he and some of his personal friends played Among Us. They also opted to use Discord rather than the chat that came with the game, when they were discussing. 
“Nah, Felix sus! You know you can vent from electrical to medbay, and then you’re in cafeteria in two seconds, giving you plenty of time to kill cyan, and then leave!” One of his friends argued, prompting you to say something. 
“No, I saw Felix do a garbage-task earlier, he safe.” You backed him. You hadn’t actually seen him to a task, but he seemed like he needed some help. 
You loved playing with Felix and his friends, but you preferred it when they weren’t Twitch streaming. You were always scared to mess up, or let words slip. Words like babe, honey, or boyfriend. As you and your boyfriend Felix had decided to let the world think you were only friends, it made things a bit more difficult, gaming wise. 
You had been dating for just over half a year at this point. His idol-company had asked you to date in secret for a while, just to see if it would work out before you announced it to the world- something you completely understood, as it was quite a mess to clean if you had a nasty break.
However, the past few weeks, you and Felix found yourself catching yourself almost revealing it by accident. At this point, you found it tiresome to keep the secret, wanting to spread it to the world so you could adore your boyfriend in public. 
“Oh damn. Unless Felix and Y/N are impostor together!” Felix’s friend tried once again, but just as you had done previously you defended both you and your boyfriend.
“Eject confirmations are on. Danny was clearly the other impostor you dimwit.” You chuckled into your mic, making him groan.
“No, sorry- you’re right. Sorry Felix.” He apologized, prompting Felix to thank you for backing him, but along those lines, a certain word accidentally slipped his lips.
“Thanks, babe.” 
As soon as the words had left his lips, the chat grew quiet, no one knowing if they were allowed to speak, or if Felix wanted to try and save his mistake. One of your monitors showed Felix’s stream which also happened to show his stream-chat, it going completely nuts.
xxemogirlxx: DID HE SAY BABE?
changbinishawt: IS Y/N HIS GIRLFRIEND?
falixlaa: omg i knew they were dating
And so on, and so forth. You found yourself in complete shock as you leaned back in your chair, your mouth wide open. 
“Oh, screw it. Yes, Y/N is my girlfriend, and we’ve been together for a while. I’m also impostor while we’re at it.” He said, the relief in his voice prominent. As he spoke the last words, he ran over to his friend in MedBay and killed him, finishing the game.
The discord went crazy, all eight of Felix and you’s friends rioting.
“How does it feel being completely out to the world, Y/N?” You were asked by Danny.
“Feels great.”
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Seungmin
“I’m really sorry, I’m already late for the meeting!” Your boyfriend, Seungmin apologized as he repeatedly kissed your cheeks, nose and forehead, finally landing on your lips. 
“Go on! Have fun, and say hi to the boys from me would you?” You giggled and tried to squirm your way out of his hug. He finally released you, but not fully as he slid his hands down your arms and intertwined your fingers, slowly stepping away as he did so. 
“Of course! Love you.” He smiled as he finally let go of your hand, but kept his walk backwards. 
You were inside the company building at this point, so you didn’t need to worry if anyone saw you. You smiled at him and waved slightly until he turned a corner and was out of sight. 
You and Seungmin had been dating for exactly six months, it being the reason for your date- to celebrate your anniversary. The company did have some words to say about your relationship in the beginning, but after a while they backed off and let you have your fun. 
Once you were sure he was gone, you made your way out of the building and down to the bus-stop waiting for the next scheduled bus. Two girls were sat at the bus-stop already, waiting for the same bus as you probably. They seemed to have a weird look at you, but you ignored it 
Maybe they had seen you and Seungmin enter the building! or maybe you just had gum on your pants? You decided to not give it too much thought. It was only a two minute wait, so before you knew it, you had your headphones plugged in and your phone in your hand. You were about to press the Spotify app, but soon noticed you had received a notification from VLIVE a few minutes ago.
You grew confused as the title didn’t mention any specific members hosting the live, but you clicked it nonetheless. 
Your headphones were soon filled with the cheers and rioting of your boyfriends band members, having the time of their lives as some sat on the couch, and some on the floor. You did however fail to spot Seungmin in the crowd, making you a tad bit confused, but reckoned there was a reason for it. A reason you and about 1.2 million others soon found out.
Just as the boys calmed down and Minho opened his mouth to talk, the door at the very left of the screen opened and revealed a distressed Seungmin. 
“Sorry I’m late, I was on my anniversary date with Y/N-” He started, not realizing the live had already started. The boys tried to save him as they started yelling once they saw where the sentence was going, but it was too late.
You felt your heart drop as you moved faster than lightning to tap the screen so you could see the comments. They were going crazy, everyone trying to figure out who you were, and if they had seen you before. 
“Damn it. Well, sorry STAY- I do in fact have a girlfriend, and we would much appreciate it if you didn’t go trying to look for her, or harass her in any comment section. Thank you.” Seungmin asked directly to the camera, the comments instantly flooding with nothing but love and support for their faves and their significant others. 
After the live was over, you found yourself smiling to yourself, happy that no one came with any mean comments. 
As you were on your way to collect your bag and push the stop button on the bus, you accidentally made eye-contact with the two girls who were sharing headphones. They looked you up and down once more before their eyes lit up, almost if they realized. 
Fear instantly washed over you, but it was soon gone as they raised their hands and waved and sent you little finger hearts, showing that they supported you. You softly waved back and stepped off the bus.
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I.N
You were walking around a store downtown, minding your own business, having taken yourself out on a date. Your boyfriend, Jeongin was unable to join you as he had an early morning practice. You didn’t mind though, it had been a while since you got some time to yourself.
You and Jeongin had officially been dating for ten months circa, meaning you were already well into the relationship. His managers never really had anything against it as you seemed to follow all the company rules anyways. 
Looking at the items in the thrift-shop you were in, a ring caught your eye, instantly making you think of Jeongin. You decided to give him a call to see if the ring was something he liked, and if you should bring it home for him. 
The ringing of the FaceTime was short before he picked up, lighting up the whole screen with his massive smile. “Hi babe!” He beamed. You quickly greeted him and asked if he was busy. When he revealed he had a few minutes to spare, you flipped the camera so he could see what you were looking at.
“I saw this ring and thought it would suit you so well! It’s not too bold, and just large enough to make a statement. Would you wear it if I bought it for you?” You asked him as you showed him every angle of the ring, even how it looked on you. 
“Oh I love it! It would go well with so many outfits too. You really know your stuff.” He complimented and chuckled. You spoke for a few more minutes before you felt a tap on your shoulder.
“Excuse me?” You whipped around as they spoke to you, the voice belonging to a girl around maybe fourteen years old. You gently placed the screen of your phone against your stomach, not necessarily to hide your boyfriends face, but to be respectful towards the person you spoke to.
“Can I help you?” You asked as politely as you could. The girl soon waved over her friends who were scattered around the store, making them all step over to you.
“How do you know our oppa?” The first girl asked, almost sounding angry as she spoke. You shot her a confused glance, genuinely not knowing what she was talking about.
“I’m sorry- do I know you?” You asked, in case it was the little sister of one of your friends.
“No, you don’t. But I saw your phone and you are talking to our I.N-oppa!” She was almost throwing a tantrum at this point, and you had no idea what to say or do. You tried stuttering out a reply, but you found your mouth gaping and closing, like the one of a fish. 
Muffles sounds suddenly came from your stomach, making both you and the girl look to your phone. You gently pulled it back out so you could see the screen. “Y/N, babe! Let me talk to them okay?” He suggested, having heard the entire conversation. You turned your phone around, but you didn’t let the girl hold it on her own, scared that she would run off with it. 
“Hi! Nice to meet you! I’m Jeongin, and this lovely girl you are talking to is a good friend of mine, so I would really love it if you stopped being upset with her, and rather left her alone, okay?” Jeongin spoke to the girls, trying his best to come across as kind and sweet, even though he hated how they had treated you. 
“Of course! But.. Is she your girlfriend?” The main girl asked, causing you to shake your head no, at the same time Jeongin sighed and confirmed you were. You felt your breath hitch and a smile creep up on your face.
“She is, but since we’re best friends now, you guys won’t tell anyone right?” He continued in the same baby-ing voice. Almost all of the girls agreed. All but one.
“Too late? I am so sorry!” She started sheepish, and ended in a panic. Apparently she had been filming the conversation and instead of stopping the filming when Jeongin asked them to keep it a secret, she had stumbled and uploaded it to twitter istead. Posting it to her hundreds and thousands of followers already. 
Both you and Jeongin stood there silently for a second before you flipped the phone around and agreed that you should stop by the company building to do some damage control.
“I’ll see you there. Love you, bye.” You said and hung up. You gave the girls a half-assed smile and picked up the ring to go pay.
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That took so long I am genuinely so so so so so sorry x
I hope you liked it tho!
-Bentley
434 notes · View notes
1ddotdhq · 3 years
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🎤Wed 9 Dec ‘20❄️
LOUIS!!!!!! I am posting this from beyond the dead because Louis’ trailer KILLED MY MIND! But THEN, it brought my body back to life because I HAVE to be around on Saturday to see this show go down. NEW LOUIS SONGS!!!! I AM NOT READY!!! First Eleanor kicked off promo for the livestream day by modeling Louis' purple Balenciaga windbreaker for us with a caption about her “BF”. I mean, it’s a look! No dogs today tho :(. Oddly though after posting herself in the outfit and saying that she was going to go out in the get up, she didn’t! Changed right back into her own clothes after all. Just like how Louis liking her post a few weeks ago was the first sign of action, this too was an indication NEW THINGS COMING! And boy, did they come! After Louis this posted his fifteen (15) second long clip, which included at least one full second each of an as of yet untitled song, KMM, Too Young, Walls, and a badass unidentified riff by Michael Blackwell (POP OFF, dude)! Louis was NOT done there though; fans were wondering what the unfamiliar songs in the trailer were. In what seemed to be a hint, Louis tweeted “copy of a copy of a copy”, which, when googled, turned up with two musical results. The only one that matters is the song ‘Copy of A..’ by Nine Inch Nails (“I am little pieces. Pieces that were picked up on the way, invented with a purpose, a purpose that's become quite clear today”). According to the band, this song is about breaking out of an image that no longer fits you: “How dare you have the audacity to not perform in the role you have been placed in”. Nine Inch Nails has also been really vocal about the importance of artistic freedom and the struggle to maintain it in the face of label interference, which I’m sure Louis can relate to. But! It turned out the untitled song that fans were wondering about isn’t ANY of these, it is, instead a “New song. Not a cover!” according to Louis himself! Let’s be clear: this does not mean that he WASN'T tweeting that lyric about doing a Nine Inch Nails cover, just that the snip in the teaser ISN’T ‘A Copy of A…’. Okay guys, I didn’t say this when the show came up, but now I will: I am IN LOVE with 12/12!! Last year, we got Fine Line on the 12th, and THIS year, we get BRAND! NEW! LOUIS! SONGS!!!!!!! This is one trend that is welcome to keep continuing!
And, for the TRUE piece de resistance: LOUIS’ HAIR! It is long long long, and slightly curly at the ends, and “HIS HAIR” (in all caps) was trending under “Beauty” immediately after the trailer was released. As it SHOULD! It’s BEAUTIFUL! And, in the middle of all of this, we got pictures of Louis from outside his rehearsal studio two weeks ago - OP said he said not to tell anyone about his hair, so they posted them the second after the trailer went up like “well if HE'S showing everyone..' They also scribbled out his hand. People asked does he have a new tattoo?? A ring?? Nope! It seems that he was probably holding a beer, which was edited out because yes certainly fans should jump in to take on the role of 1D management circa 2011 and preserve Louis' squeaky clean teen idol image! If Louis didn't want to be photographed with something he wouldn't come out to do fanservice holding it, give me a break, you really think he's sharing actual secrets with you? Grow up! Anyways, while on twitter Louis followed Isabella Signs, who he met through the charity work that she does for her younger brother. She has a YouTube channel by the same name and does A LOT of really cool SSE (Sign [language] Supported English) covers of all the boys plus 1D, check her out!
The Naughty List music video is OUT! It is a #quarantinevideo made with the green screen that Liam talked the other day about having had set up in his living room for days and how much he disliked that. It features Liam in a Snow Globe and Dixie and her friends dancing in a photobooth in colorful outfits (Liam in a red sequin vest with nothing underneath anyone?), pastel and glittery backgrounds, and lots of Christmas cheer! More than Liam had today, that’s for sure! Dixie loves Christmas, but Liam said that if it wasn’t for his son “pfft, Christmas can pass me by” in the joint live Liam/Dixie did to introduce the video. Steve the Manager (who made Liam’s naughty list for “making him work today”) spent most of the time feeding Liam questions for Dixie and trying to keep him on track. Liam and Dixie shared stories of Christmas presents (Dixie’s best Christmas was when she got a four wheeler), who made their Naughty List this year (Dixie: No one, Liam: “NIALLLL” - no he did not say why), and if they’d ever been kissed under the mistletoe (Dixie was when she was 12, Liam has not yet because he’s “a loonneeelyyyy boyyyy”, but then went on to say, “Mayaaaa you gotta kiss me under the mistletoe!!” so I guess that’s that).  Steve the Manager kept cutting Liam off before he could even TRY to do his Harry voice, so we didn’t get any of that, but we did get a nice solo Liam alarm to wake up to this morning, where he did a meditative bit and reminded people that it’s almost Friday!! And he's added some signed Naughty List single CDs to his store and merch! Really cute hoodies-- I'm not personally sure I want my chest to say Naughty List all over it but Liam can work it and it is a cute design. He also went on a radio show (not Roman’s) to promote Naughty List and revealed that he had NOT done any Christmas shopping yet, which IMMEDIATELY put him on their naughty list. Not to worry Liam, I think you’re still pretty nice!
And my favorite larrie is BACK: we got a sneak peek of Harry’s Jingle Ball set and, surprise, surprise, it’s the pre-recorded set with the Free Nationals! The description is, “Harry Styles and the Free National light up an LA backyard celebration with a hit-stacked set”. So, uh, I guess he’s not going to be playing in front of a blank wall - it’ll be a garden with a camper van, little blue flags, and fairy lights strung up. His shirt matches the small flags in being That Color Blue, and my one and only prediction for the set is that he’ll be covering Blue Christmas. I gotta say that I have NEVER seen anyone as dedicated to that - or ANY color - as Harry is. He still hasn’t popped up anywhere, but this is EXCITING! A new Fine Line set!!
Zayn made Martyre’s Instagram story again, and though you STILL can’t see his face, it’s his neck this time instead of his hands! I think that he’s meant to be modeling the necklace he’s got on, but the picture is too blurry for me to make it out. Alas. Anyways, I’d love to see some pictures of his FACE if Martyre has those? Please? Meanwhile, Niall promoted  a beloved Doncaster native musician... no it was Yungblud! On Instagram, of course: he did tell us he wasn't going to be on twitter for a while! 
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