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arionawrites · 7 months

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currently reading the first story i ever finished that i haven’t really looked at in literal years and omg

for a bit of context: i wrote a story based on the idea of peter pan being an angel of death and checking in on his future lost boys throughout their childhoods until the day they eventually die and join him in neverland. the entire story (only like 6.8k words) is from peter pan’s perspective while he checks in periodically on his soon-to-be lost boy, a trans diabetic kid named stephan who develops pancreatic cancer and dies at the end. (this was 100% me venting my anxieties of being diabetic and potentially developing pancreatic cancer as, at the time of me taking this class, i had been diagnosed as diabetic less than a year prior.)

here’s a few lines from it that while reading i kept being like “my 15 year old self wrote this???? DAMN”

He was used to the feeling. Actually, no—he was familiar with the feeling. There was no way he could ever get use to the pressure in his chest or the way his hands shook uncontrollably. It was merely something he had experienced before, with the lost boys he dealt with in the past.

It was a feeling of urgency, the need to help with something he wasn’t aware of clawing at his throat until he was dizzy with anxiety and stumbling wherever his feet took him.

After a moment of silence, he decided to ask, “Did you have a nightmarw?”

“Yes,” Stephan whispered. They were staring at the pattern on their blanket, fresh tears still falling from their eyes.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

It didn’t look as if they would respond anytime soon, so Peter made his way to the rocking chair placed in the corner of the room and sat, patiently waiting for an answer.

“It was just sad,” Stephan eventually said. There was no telling how much time had passed (though it didn’t feel like a lot), but Peter didn’t mind. “I was at a beach with my mom and my dad. We got in the water to go swimming, but we went too far and they went underwater and didn’t come back up.” They shrugged, as if trying to dismiss the fact that they were upset. “I was just trying not to go underwater for the rest of it. I guess it was a little scary ‘cause of that.”

Peter nodded. “Are you afraid of swimming?”

Stephan quickly shook their head. “No, I love to swim!” They then shrugged again, only now it was clearly out of confusion: “I don’t know… I was just scared of not coming back up like they did.”

“I understand.”

Stephan sighed, letting their body fall against the pillow. Neither of them tried to talk—Peter’s presence was enough to make Stephan feel at ease. It was only a matter of time before the child fell asleep once more.

After that, the visits became a little different. Stephan stopped letting Peter in, instead glancing up at him and acting like they hadn’t noticed his presence. He wasn’t sure what had changed for a while before it clicked—Stephan had reached the phase of disbelief.

This phase was very common with the lost boys. It was that period of time (usually starting around the age of ten or eleven and only ever ending when Peter brought them to Neverland) where the child came to the conclusion that Peter was only an imaginary friend that they would never see again. It was quite difficult not being able to say hello anymore, but he knew he had to keep visiting them.

He knew what age they needed to be before he could take them with him, but sometimes things happened that ended with him having to lead them to Neverland earlier than planned. Those circumstances were never very pleasant, but Peter couldn’t prevent them from happening. All he could do was as try to make it easier for the child who had just suffered a great deal of trauma.

Knowing that the phase of disbelief had begun with Stephan made Peter’s chest ache. He couldn’t help anymore, not until it was time for Stephan to leave. All he could do was watch, wait, and hope for the best.

Peter’s pain came from watching the hurt in Stephan’s eyes grow stronger as the teenager grew weaker. He counted down the days until Stephan’s sixteenth birthday, afraid of the inevitable day of departure that he couldn’t determine the exact date of. He didn’t want Stephan to die—he didn’t want any of his lost boys to die, but it was what it was and at least he knew that they would all have fun in Neverland after the traumatic experience. The during was hard, but the after was better and that was what made it okay in the end.

That didn’t make Peter’s heart ache any less, though, as he visited twice a week and noticed every way that Stephan’s condition got worse. He never left his room unless he had to, always wallowing in self-pity and despair under the warmth of his duvet. Peter was once again left with the struggle of wanting to help but knowing he couldn’t.

“Is that me?” A voice said, sounding small and afraid. Peter sighed softly, ignoring the ache in his chest and nodding in response. He didn’t bother looking at the person for a few seconds since he knew who it was, and instead let his eyes stay closed until he knew he wouldn’t cry. By the time he looked to his right, to the owner of the voice, Stephan was already in tears. “No… No, that can’t be me. If that’s me, then I’m—”

Peter nodded again, lips tugging down into a frown as he stood. “I know. I’m sorry, Stephan.”

Stephan shook his head, jaw dropping in shock. “But… I’m not dead. Not yet. I can’t be, not so soon. I just…” He trailed off, still moving his head from side to side in denial. “I just turned sixteen. I can’t die now!” He buried his head into his hands, wailing into his palms as sobs wracked his whole body. Peter watched, a lump forming in his throat as he held back his own cries. A few tears slipped down his cheeks, but he quickly wiped them away and acted as if they never existed. He was Peter Pan, after all—the collector of lost boys, the one who stayed strong and took childrwn to a happy place after their deaths. It wasn’t his place to cry.

That didn’t change the fact that he cried for every lost boy he had.

Eventually, Stephan’s loud cries lessened into sniffles, hiccups and a wavering voice. “What now, then? What happens now?”

Peter smiled slightly, sadly, knowing that the hardest part of the struggle had been dealt with. He placed a hand on Stephan’s shoulder and replied, “Now?” He les them both toward the window and nodded up at the stars shining brightly in the sky. “Now everything will be okay. You’re a lost boy, just like you said you wanted to be.”

it’s like. it’s not amazing or anything—with my current writing style, it would have been a lot longer, a lot more in depth and detailed with more scenes to explore both this idea of Peter Pan as well as the like process of him knowing who his next lost boy is etc etc

but i was 15 and before this i had never had a story that i fully wrote from start to finish. i always left them half done and forgotten. and for 15, this really isn’t bad, either. and it’s really interesting how i can see certain aspects of my writing style that i’ve carried with me since i was 15, as well as the differences.

idk i just. i haven’t read this in a really long time and i’m feeling very proud of it right now lmao.

#ariwrites #ari goes back in time

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jimblejamblewritings · 2 years

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friends? | one-shot.

Request: hey! can i please request a twilight imagine where the reader is a trans guy who gets injured running away from his transphobic parents house and the pack finds him and brings him to Emily’s house to try and take care of him? and the reader wakes up and he’s freaked out but they assure him he’s safe now and clean the reader’s wounds and they become friends?

Warnings: angst, slight transphobia, unsupportive

Pairing: Seth Clearwater x trans male!reader (platonic), wolf pack x trans male!reader (platonic)

Word Count: 1,135

“Hey (Y/N).”

You turned from your locker to face the voice that called you. It was Seth Clearwater, one of your ex-friends. They hung out with Sam Uley once and all of a sudden Embry, Quil, and Seth were too good for you. You rolled your eyes as you looked Seth up and down.

“What?”

“Your bag’s open. Dropped this.”

Seth handed you your binder. You quickly snatched it back. Your parents were causing a big fuss so you left the house in a big hoodie and jeans that was deemed “more acceptable” by them rather than fighting. The hoodie helped a bit but you still felt uncomfortable without the binder on and planned to change into it right after homeroom attendance was counted.

“Thanks,” you muttered.

Seth was about to say something else when Jacob and Embry called him over. They walked away from you without a second thought. You ate lunch alone. The only other friend you had aside from Seth, Embry, and Quil was a girl named Carla but her family moved off the res about two months before the guys ditched you.

Carla tried to be there for you but she had her own problems at her new school in New York. You talked on the weekends but during the school week you were on your own. The rest of the school day went by like normal, nothing spectacular or interesting. Just how you like it. You enjoyed the slow pace of a normal life. When you got home, dinner was being made by your dad.

“I’m home.”

“Kiddo. How was school?”

“Alright.” You shrugged your backpack off your shoulders and took out your homework to do at the dining room table.

“Hey, (Y/F/I). Your Aunt and Uncle are coming up for dinner from Oregon. Can we not do the whole ‘you’ thing today.”

Your dad vaguely gestured to your entire body. The only thing your parents obliged you on was not calling you by your birth name, although they would only use the first initial of your new name, refusing to completely give in.

“What?”

“This whole boy thing. Just put on a dress please, you can borrow your mother’s. You and her are the same size right?”

“Okay one, me and mom haven’t been the same size in like a year. Two it’s not a boy thing, I am a boy.”

“Fine you say you’re a boy.” Your mom came into the kitchen. “Don’t boys wear dresses? You know in some cultures, why don’t you just do that for the night?”

“Mom, Dad. I feel very uncomfortable in anything feminine or suggests a more female presenting persona given certain things I am still going through. So no, this boy will not be wearing a dress. I already keep my hair long since everyone on the res does, is that not good enough?”

“Okay. We’ve been playing nice and we’re going nowhere. You’re done! You were born a girl. The certificate we filled out at the hospital says girl and you will always be a girl. This is over! You will be presentable for your aunt and uncle and stop this boy shit.”

You dodged the plate your mother threw. With all the arguments and crap you’d put up with, nothing physical ever happened. You looked at the plate behind your chair. This was the final straw. You left the house not bothering to look back. The tears were streaming down your face as you aimlessly walked around.

It started to rain on you and even your hoodie was soaked at this point. You didn’t notice you had stumbled upon the main road until a car honked you down. You barely had time to jump back and avoid getting hit. You tripped over your own feet and rolled a little bit down the hill, scraping your hands and tearing a hole in your jeans. You were never good with blood and seeing your bloody hands and knees made you faint on sight.

You woke up to the smell of pasta sauce. When you opened your eyes, you were out of your soaking clothes and into something way too big but you liked it. You rubbed the tiredness out of your eyes only to realize when you felt the fabric on your face that your hands were bandaged too.

All of a sudden, your senses kicked into high alert and you shot up like a rocket. You bolted towards the door and only stopped when you heard immense laughter. You turned to see Sam Uley and his gang, including your old friends.

“You know,” Quil started. “You were so slow to wake up if you had really been kidnapped your kidneys would already be on the black market.”

“(Y/N). Sit, we’re having spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. By the way, this is Sam, Paul, Jared, and Emily. Hope you’re not weirded out with the clothes. They’re mine, you just seemed kind of cold. Figured it was cool, we’re all dudes.”

Seth guided you to the table. Leah hit him upside the head when he sat back down. “Two of us here are ladies, with the manners to show for it.”

Leah gestured to You were shocked at how everyone but you and Emily were already on their second plate of cookies.

“So how long are you staying?” Sam asked you rather abruptly. He continued when you looked at him questioningly. “The boys told us about what happened. Figured you wouldn’t go back. Emily and I have a spare bed.”

“Mom wouldn’t mind if you stayed with us either. Seth’s room is big enough for two people,” Leah offered.

“So you don’t talk to me for months and I’m supposed to act like this is all cool?”

“We’ll explain that later. Right now we should probably just focus on you.”

“Fine. But if I don’t get answers by tomorrow morning, I’m out of here.”

“Fair. Hey, (Y/N) do you still make those cookies?”

“Cookies?” Paul perked up.

Embry hyped up your skills. “Bro, he makes the best maple cinnamon cookies.”

“Maple cinnamon? You mind showing me?” Emily asked. “If your hands are alright.”

“Yeah. They’re fine. I wouldn’t mind making cookies for everyone.”

“We’re gonna need at least four batches.”

“Four batches? Jake what the hell? Four?”

“We’re growing boys.”

“You’re ravenous wolves is what you are… it wasn’t that funny.” You didn’t understand why they busted out in laughter when you said that.

Emily patted your shoulder as she led you to the kitchen. “You’ll get used to it. Apron?”

“It’s Seth’s shirt, I don’t care.”

“Really? (Y/N)?”

“Revenge for ditching me.”

Seth got quiet and you laughed. You were entertained by the antics of everyone in Sam’s house as you baked cookies. You could get used to this new life.

#seth clearwater x reader #twilight fic

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egirlgarak · 9 months

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this is Quite late, but @kulliare tagged me in this so i am now putting my responses under a read more, approximately 23 years later.

tagging @vexedandperplexed @spectraling @gingerteaonthetardis @chaotictomtom and @breaddo only if y’all want!

Were you named after anyone?

My birth names are a variant of a name that has been passed down on my mom’s side of the family for several generations. basil, though, was just a name i gathered one day, tried it out, and it stuck.

When was the last time you cried?

this morning, with my mom in the bedroom. (grandma has severe dementia and it’s Just Rough)

Do you have kids?

FUCK no <3

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

define: a lot. i am a silly guy, so it’s not above me to make sarcastic comments, but not more or less than my fellow citizens methinks

What sports do you play/have you played?

last time i played a sport i was genuinely like 7 years old. i took dance/was on the drill team in high school, but once i got into college, most of my time was dedicated to course work. being a music major really does not let you do too much else.

What's the first thing you notice about someone?

if they’re tall(er than me), especially if they’re fem presenting. otherwise, i guess i’d say wether or not a smile reaches their eyes.

Eye color?

brown

Scary movies or happy endings?

i can do both, but i usually lean towards thrillers/horror

Any special talents?

when i’m not around other classical musicians, I say I’m an opera singer. when I’m around other classical musicians, I tell them i’m really good at saying no <3

Where were you born?

texas. yeehaw etc etc

What are your hobbies?

media consumption. language study. day dreaming about being a little bird who’s sunning his feathers by a nice lake

Do you have any pets?

two black cats! one is my brother’s, her name is magpie. the other, my little baby girl, my princess, my plumberry sweetie pie darling angel, albatross. behold. magpie (left) albatross (right):

How tall are you?

6 ft. still remember the first time i met one of my online friends and she looked up at me with awe and just says something along the lines of: “wow….you’re huge” honestly best possible feedback to receive from another trans person u like and trust. also gave me Gender, which? still not sure what to do with that aside from thank the universe for giving huge guy genes to the dude with silly little guy neural circuits

Favorite subject in school?

high school doesn’t apply here, just because i felt stupid the entire time that i never got to enjoy anything. but that being said, in university, i looooved taking italian. i have Some Scraps of knowledge left, but i remember loving it immensely, at least. i also really enjoyed the few semesters i sang in my uni’s early music vocal ensemble. that shit changed my life, genuinely. there’s so much nuance to that style of music. i think a lot of people can’t hear the appeal but man. give me some medieval recorder. a fuckin. cantiga or two. maybe we even pull out some baroque instrumentation; a funky little continuo line w a little portative organ action. i love it, man. my work as a professional opera singer has been mostly early music, and i’ve loved every fucken second.

Dream job?

despite pro opera exp, i’m not entirely sold on following that as a career option?? i’ve been floundering since 2020, honestly. but just as long as i have a flexible job that lets me enjoy being alive both in and out of the workspace, i’m good. my last few jobs were Not That, but meh. there’s still time to figure it out.

#bas.txt

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thevoidstaredback · 18 days

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CW: Mentions/Implications of Transphobia, Religion, Aphobia

I do end up telling at everyone, btw. I'm a bit pissed off near the end.

I'm a bit pissed off still...

I think the main reason I haven't come out to my parents as AroAce is because they're both very conservative Christans (LDS). They grew up that way, and they raised me that way. While they're open minded about a lot of things, they're close minded about a lot of things, too.

Both are very family oriented, my mother moreso than my father. They both want me and my sisters to get married and have kids and I don't know how to break it to them that I don't want that.

I've tried telling them without coming out. "The best I can offer are cats." or "I'm not interested in relationships." or the one I've been saying since I was in my single digits "I'm gonna be the crazy cat lady. I can't do that if I have other people I have to take care of."

(Honestly, that last one shoulda been my first clue. How the hell did I not know until senior year of hs?)

Both parents have brushed me off or ignored me completely. On several occasions. My aunts have all done the same. Some friends have done the same. All with varying excuses that I've already mentioned here before (and on TilTok).

I think the worst part is that they're both a bit transphobic, my father moreso than my mother. Mom is a bit more open minded (at least that I've noticed). She's a bit confused, but does her best to understand. Dad is a lot less so. He's actively watching things that are transphobic in nature or in passing, though I think he's realized that shit makes me uncomfortable, so he doesn't listen to it when I'm around. Only when he thinks I can't hear. (Doesn't work very well. I've got crazy good hearing and he watches with his speakers on full blast)

I'm not trans, but I have friends who are. My thought process is, if they can't accept that people are sometimes born in the wrong body, how will they ever accept someone stepping way back from what they were raised on?

Okay, I know those two things probably to connect in the way that I'm trying to convey, but I- I don't know how to explain it?

How do I convince people that I don't fall into the norms they were raised in when they can't even accept the norms that have been since the time of gods?

Does that make better sense?

The Queer Community has been around since humans started to walk the Earth. How does one explain this to people without things going to absolute shit?

I think I've gotten a bit off topic...

How does one tell their parents (who have been dreaming about their children having children to the point of "cursing" us with triplets) that getting married or having kids is not in their plans?

How does one get past the years of (what I can only label some kind of manipulation attempts) convincing that having kids and getting married will be the best thing to ever happen?

As I'm sure my fellow Aspecs can relate or attest to, it's extremely hard to tell a heteronormative society that you don't quite fall in with them. It's equally as hard to tell s homonormative group that you don't quite fit in with them, either.

On all sides, we're being pushed and pulled to fall in love and have families and have romances and have sex and all of these things! I think the reason we (at least from what little I've seen) feel so lonely is because we have little to no support. People on all sides are telling us we're wrong. People who are supposed to be on our team are telling us we're wrong.

Do you know how much that hurts?

Straight friends, gay friends, trans friends, queer friends, even fellow Aspecs have all told me some version of "You just haven't met your perfect person yet."

Fuck you.

Fuck whoever has ever said that in their life.

Fuck whoever has said that to someone who trusted them.

That line, and any line like it, is harmful.

I'm sorry you can't look past your rose coloured glasses to see the world. I'm sorry you can't pull your head outta your partner's(s) ass long enough to realize that not everyone is like you.

Yeah, I'm yelling at all of you. No discrimination here.

....

I really did go off topic...

I guess I really needed all that off my chest...

Regardless, I don't take any of it back.

#aroace #aspec #crisis #how does one deal with this?#how do I come out in a place like this?#is anywhere really safe?#being targeted on all sides

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silasplaskett · 3 years

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being closeted is just like.... slowly testing ur parents over the span of like YEARS

#mom took like two years to get over my hairy legs. i have lived in peace for like two years.#until today. when she felt the need to tell me that it’s inappropriate to not wear a braaaaaaaaa. she only noticed today.#i’ve been living in no bra land for like a month. and she noticed twenty minutes ago. and was the only person to ever comment on it.#i’m just having a moment here. battle of the summer in my household i guess. next time my mom addresses my appearance i’ll just lose it.#me: tries to do my little trans things. my mom: takes years to notice and then just loses it bc i’m ugly and embarrassing.#bea.txt #trans tag #idk feels relevant #life nonsense

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novelist-becca · 3 years

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TOH Fanfic recs! Part 1

(All of these people are my inspiration I stg)

Found family

Make my heart your home series by @tiredandjaded

First fic: Luz accidentally calls Eda "mom" and they both have a crisis over it. Mostly Luz. Second fic: post-YBOS, Luz tells Eda and Lilith of what happened during the rescue mission, and both Luz and Eda give Lilith a shovel talk. Third fic: Luz and Eda are both taking care of each other in the first seven days after coming home. Includes fun sibling bonding!

(Patiently awaiting the next chapter of the third installment!)

Literally anything by @hereforthehurts

The way they write emotions and hurt/comfort is seriously amazing. Never fails to make me cry, especially when it comes to sickfics and fics of Eda and Luz. (I recommend supporting them on Ko-Fi!)

You Are My Sunshine by @liesminelli

One of the first Owl House fics I ever read, and it's SO good! Luz has a night terror and Eda walks in on her freaking out, and it goes from there. The emotions of both characters are very well-written, and the ending is so sweet! I also recommend checking out their other works too!

It's The Least I Could Do by @witchesbeforewizardss

There aren't enough fics of Luz and Lilith bonding, and this is one of the BEST ones. Lilith needs more healthy relationships, and in my opinion, building an aunt-niece relationship with Luz is a great place to start! (next to making amends with Eda) Basically, Luz is feeling homesick, and before dinner, she allows Lilith to help her feel better.

Luz's Not So Great Luck and

A Friendly Beastly Surprise by @animerunner

The first fic has a large abundance of angsty scenarios, mostly AUs, all of which are wonderful to read. My personal favorite is the one where Luz is an orphan and she has a chronic illness, and well, you'll have to read to find out! The second one is canon compliant, and it's about Eda turning into the Owl Beast and treating Luz like an owlet, and Luz is just like "guess this is my life now". It's so cute!

Rainy Day Makeovers by @fallenflowersfromgrace

To summarize, There's boiling rain, and Luz convinces Eda to spend time with her giving each other makeovers. It's very cute, and I love it!

Some Honesty Before Breakfast by @pizzaboat

Eda notices Luz is acting unusual, and gets her to open up. It's in-character, and wonderfully executed.

Thank you for being in my life by @peridot-garcia

Episodes of The Owl House from Eda's perspective, and as of now, also Luz and Lilith's perspective. It's got wonderful found family scenarios, and so far the plot is pretty great!

Lighting up the Dark by The_Quoter

This is a very recent one, and I love it! It's post-Young Blood Old Souls, and Eda comes to terms with how much Luz means to her, while also helping her come out of a nightmare.

The Light Behind Your Eyes by ABirdinFlight

Post-Young Blood. Eda gives Lilith a shovel-talk (harsh but well-deserved) and has a heart-to-heart talk with Luz in her room.

Moonlit Masquerade: Replacement by Rohad

Similar to make my heart your home, Luz accidentally calls Eda "mom" and both of them have a crisis over it. (As expected!)

Bad Days by @drabbles-of-writing

Part of their Four Years AU, Luz has an episode, and Eda takes her home to help her calm down. It's very bittersweet and heartfelt.

Gratuitous Embellishments of Chicken Noodle Soup by Rulerofthecosmosandsnails

Luz almost drowns at the Knee, but her Owl Mom is there to help her get better, including making her soup! (Yeah, my fic Snow Day was inspired by this)

A Line Crossed by Clevinger

AU in which Luz dies by the spikes at the bridge, in front of Eda, who thankfully resurrects her, and as expected, Luz is having a hard time handling it. There's another work inspired by it called Too Much, Too Late by TheHonestyBird.

A nightmare and a hug by moreteaplease

Reeaaally hard to find since it doesn't have the relationship tag for Luz and Eda, but still, it's very good! Post-YBOS, Luz has a nightmare and goes to Eda for comfort, confessing that she misses her mom.

Sleepless Nights by @snail-watch

Similar to the one before this, Luz has a nightmare and goes to Eda for comfort. I loved the way the author wrote Eda's thoughts about Luz!

Mending Trust by @electricwalkman

Similar to The Light Behind Your Eyes. Eda puts Luz to bed, and Luz tells her about the portal being destroyed, and gives her the mask piece. Eda comforts her, as well.

Night Owl and

The Bad Dream Club by @thedrunkenwerewolf / @wolfiethewriter

Eda has trouble sleeping, Luz notices, and Eda confessed that she's scared of hurting Luz as the beast. Luz of course, reassures her by telling her it won't happen. The second fic is the other way around, sorta. Luz has a nightmare and gets herself a drink to calm down, and Eda finds her.

Dreams of a Witch by TheDinosaurNerd

Eda talks to her younger self in her mindscape about her life as a wild witch. (In the end it turns out to be Luz in her lap.)

Griffon Flu by @serendipitouslyss

Another great sickfic! Luz gets the flu, or Griffon Flu as it's called in the Boiling Isles, but Eda and King are more than willing to help her get better.

Owlet by spotty8bee

Ah, the cursed AU that started it all. Only 2 chapters, but it's wonderfully heartbreaking and you really feel for Eda in the second half of chapter 1.

Observations of the Witchy Kind by JoLau

If you like platonic cuddling, you'll love this fic! Luz wants to learn about witch biology, but unfortunately Boscha burns the notebook that had her research, so she tries to rewrite her observations, and ends up catching Eda's attention.

I Need You, Please Don't Leave Me by rainbowpotato12

Luz is having bad thoughts, and worries that something bad could happen to Eda again, but Eda reassures her it won't.

This is Home by SpaghettieBabie

Luz has doubts about herself, and opens up to Eda about it, confessing that she likes her as her mother figure.

I Love the Found Family Trope! by @l-egionaire

Takes place after The Intruder. Eda thinks that Luz and King might leave her after knowing about the curse, and they tell her they would never do that.

Nightmare by OneandOnlyOllie

Another nightmare fic! Eda comforts Luz after a nightmare. Lilith hears the two, and wants to make things right with Luz.

It was not, in fact, a day out by @pizzaboat

Post-YBOS. Eda turns into the Owl Beast, tries to cuddle Luz, Lilith and King in her nest, and they have to come up with a working scheme to turn her back. Basically The Intruder if Lilith was there.

A broken brain by @pizzaboat

I can relate to this one a lot (except my adhd is diagnosed). Luz has trouble focusing on homework, and doesn't know why, and tells Eda she thinks she's going crazy, but Eda tells her she's not, and that Lilith had a similar problem.

What big claws (to protect you with my dear) by @ito-itonomen

AU where Luz is 10 and Eda takes her in, and both of them have doubts about themselves. Chapter 2 is especially good.

Unexpected Hope by @sepublic

Luz talks to Lilith about how she had (surprisingly) inspired her.

Lilith and Eda

Mistakes Might Have Been Made by @fallenflowersfromgrace

WARNING: you will definitely cry in the second chapter!

An AU in which Lilith split the curse with Eda the first time she transformed. Of course, by the time she reveals that she cursed her, it doesn't go well. (Eda's reaction hurts, but it's in character) and the pain in chapter 2 is just…AGONY AND ITS SO GOOD!

Walk Through the Storm, I Would by @lilithswxfe

Trigger warning for self harm and suicidal thoughts in this fic.

Lilith tries to hurt herself while in a bad state, but Eda catches her and comforts her.

Source Decay series by @tiredandjaded

Trigger warning for underage drinking in the second fic.

Two pre-canon fics about Lilith and Eda, the first fic portraying Eda as trans and how she's feeling about her name, and how Lilith helps her. The second one is sadder, it's after the curse and Eda isn't taking Lilith coming home late very well, leading to some…not-so-great coping mechanisms.

Rabbit Heart by radiantstaber

It has found family Owl Mom moments, but then it is mostly about Lilith and Eda rebuilding their relationship, with Luz trying her best to encourage both of them. (The description is very funny, describing the Owl House as a get along shirt.)

The Cafeteria Incident by @electricwalkman

Remember that page from Eda's record about Eda summoning abominations because somebody stole Lilith's lunch money? This is based on that, and it's SO GOOD!

Runaway Raven by @witchesbeforewizardss

Trigger warning for graphic injuries

In both Lilith thinks she doesn't belong with her family in the Owl House, and tries to "punish" herself. Eda convinces her that it's not worth it and she just wants her sister back.

The Long Night by @serendipitouslyss

Post-YBOS, just like The Light Behind Your Eyes. Eda puts Luz to bed, and she and Lilith have a long talk. (Though she's not as harsh.)

A Midnight Talk by @elizabethemerald

Lilith sees Luz having a nightmare, and calms her down for a little bit (via stroking her hair). Eda sees her, and the two have a talk.

I Need a Moment to Quiet This Pain by @come-unhinged

Moments in Eda's life and how she dealt with her curse.

Part 2 might have Lumity idk

#long post #fanfic recommendation #fanfic #fanfiction #fic recs #the owl house #toh #owl house #the owl house fanfiction #found family #Luz noceda #eda clawthorne #edalyn clawthorne #Lilith clawthorne #Clawthorne sisters #eda the owl lady #eda the owl mom #mom Eda

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zoeology31 · 3 years

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30+ Ship/Character Headcanons for Pride: Elena of Avalor Edition

Pride 2021, baby! Took me a whole year to get all my headcanons lined up for my dear old friend of a show, but here they are. This was a very formative show for me so everyone is bi like me, lol.

(Last year’s Star Wars edition)

Elena

Elena is panromantic asexual and nonbinary, and uses she/they pronouns.

They are 100% oblivious to people being attracted to them, and when she does notice, addressing that falls pretty low on her priority list compared to work or family or friends.

For Elena gender is just sort of a thing she has, like a dress. They can be a girl or not be a girl depending on the feeling, but they’re still them.

They settle into a polyam relationship with Mateo, Gabe, and Naomi not too long after coronation, and surprisingly little changes.

Isabel

Isabel finds herself the hardest thing to label, but she eventually settles on pan or queer.

She dates Ari, Caterina, and Amber at various points as a teenager, but never gets into the more direct romance.

As an adult, Isabel is very career-focused and spends a lot of time traveling and researching. She never gets a long-term partner, but does adopt kids.

All her friends are some variety of queer as well: Cristina is pan, Amara and Quique are bi, Olivia is aro-ace.

Flores Family

Esteban is bi and aromantic or grey-romantic.

He never really thought about dating as a kid. Because Elena was similar, he just assumed it was an adults thing until Victor awkwardly tried asking about crushes one time.

He prides himself on being very suave and charming, even flirtatious in situations, but not with any intent, just to make a good impression and get people to do things.

Francisco is bi, but it wasn’t really talked about in his day so he’s only partially aware of it. Luisa is straight but enthusiastically supportive.

The Amigos

Mateo, Gabe, and Naomi are all bi. They handle this very differently.

Mateo only figured it out recently, when he was trying to figure out why he always felt like showing off around Gabe.

He’s a bit of a disaster around people he likes, so he mostly tries not to think about it. This works out well, since he’s naturally very sincere and thoughtful when not flustered.

Gabe's known since he was a kid. He wound up with three awesome, attractive friends, and he’s having a great time.

He has a femme bi older sister, Juliana (my OC whom I will talk more about later) whose support helped him embrace his identity, as well as his dreams of becoming a royal guard, from a young age.

Naomi has switched between the labels bi and lesbian a lot. She got play-married to Vee when they were kids, and it’s a common inside joke between them.

In a modern AU, she’d be a dyed-hair-and-flannel gay, and run a moderately popular youtube channel about sailing and boat facts.

Other Royals

Marisa is pan, Marzel is bi and trans. They’re actually pretty good at wingmanning for each other but in the most annoying way possible.

Valentina is a lesbian, Alonso is bi. Their kingdoms are close allies and they’re the same age, so they’ve been friends since childhood.

Chloe is a bi disaster, which she got from Abigail. Chloe’s other mom, Martha, is the Norberg ambassador to Satu and so is away from home a lot.

Rebeca is bi and ace. She has her own friend group in Galonia who are all at least a little in love with her, just like Elena does.

Supporting Cast

Skylar is gay, Luna is bi. They grew up together and came to Avalor in the same Guardian training group. They both kinda had a thing for Cruz, up until the part where he was evil.

Victor is bi. He has bad taste and is by this point well aware of that. He definitely had a crush on Esteban as a teen, and he and Felicia commiserated over being friends with two hot royal cousins.

Carla is bi. She has a thing for jocks, but really just wants someone she can relate to and confide in, and possibly nerd out over magic with.

After the series, Victor and Carla open a small grocery store and apothecary in the Via Mercado, getting the quiet, stable life they always wanted.

Spirit guides have no innate concept of gender, though they do take on some aspects of the humans they interact with the most. Zuzo has typically identified as masculine for the past several decades, but that’s always subject to change.

Recurring Characters

Rafa is trans, and came out a year or so before Shuriki’s invasion. And of course any master wizard worth their salt knows potions of trans your gender.

Ixlan is a nonbinary lesbian. They use the Maruvian equivalent of they/them, or just they/them for translation convenience.

Antonia is bi. She’s about 24 at the end of the series, and she eventually works her way up to Captain of the Royal Guard. She learns Maruvian so she can talk to Ixlan in her native language.

Tomiko is a lesbian. After college she travels and researches a lot, sometimes with Isabel, and eventually becomes a professor at the Avalor Science Academy.

#elena of avalor #princess elena #princess isabel #chancellor esteban #mateo de alva #gabe nunez #naomi turner #victor delgado #carla delgado #my stuff #headcanons #representation

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sindrafalcone · 3 years

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Adventures in Babysitting pt. 3

Fandom: BIGBANG/ Choi Seung Hyun x reader

Synopsis: A babysitting job turns into something unexpected…

Warnings: Fluff for now, but it will evolve into something steamier in a later chapter. You’ve been warned!

Author’s Note: It has been entirely too long since I updated this story! My apologies... But I finally think I’m un-stuck on the storyline, so hopefully I can finish it in a reasonable amount of time. Thanks for sticking with me, and I hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. This story contains fictional representations of real people. None of the events are true. This is from an American standpoint, so some of the situations may not happen the same way they might in Korea. I make no money from the writing of this fictional work.

Masterlist

Part 1 Part 2

You had only made it about half a block before Seunghyun stopped dead in his tracks. When he quit moving you did as well, peering at him to see if he was okay. Between the dim city lights and his face mask you couldn't make out very much, but he was still holding on to your hand so that had to count for something. Before you could ask him what was wrong, he spoke softly. “This place that you're taking me...” his deep voice trembled a little bit. “Is it going to be very busy?”

You were a little taken aback by the clear apprehension in his voice. But then you remembered how happy he'd been when you had given him his space back at the museum. Maybe he just didn't like crowds.

“Sometimes it can be.” you admitted. “Usually around lunch time, but this late at night I doubt there's very many people in there. It's just a small Mom & Pop shop.” He seemed to take a moment to think about what you said & you patiently waited for what he was going to say next. Perhaps he was getting cold feet about having dinner with you and just wanted to go back to the hotel instead.

“I still want to go with you.” he said, as if reading your mind. “I just... um, do you know if they have a private room?”

“Yeah...” you answered him hesitantly, not really seeing where he was going with this. “There's a medium sized room in the back of the restaurant that can be reserved for parties or large groups.”

“Do you think maybe you could call ahead and ask if we could eat in there?” Seunghyun shifted his weight back and forth from foot to foot nervously. “I'll be happy to pay extra if they want. Or if that's not available, we'll need a table in the very back, preferably as far away from other people as possible.”

You looked at him closely for a bit before taking out your phone. You decided he was being completely serious and you had the fleeting thought that he might actually have a phobia about this. “Okay... give me a minute.” you relented & you could finally see the tension in his shoulders relax as you did so. He let go of your hand so you could make the call and you found that you missed his warmth more than you wanted to admit.

Luckily for him, you were very good friends with the owners. You had been eating lunch there almost every day since you'd found the place a couple years back. The food was good and relatively cheap, especially once they had started giving you the 'family discount' even though you had tried to object. In a matter of minutes, you had secured the private room for you and Seunghyun to use. You brought up his willingness to pay a fee, but the owner just laughed at you. Telling her that you'd be there soon, you hung up only to find him looking at you anxiously.

“We can use the private room.”

“Oh, good.” he sighed, relief obvious in his voice. “That usually works out much better.”

You really wanted to question him about this whole thing, but decided that it might be better to wait until you were actually in the restaurant or maybe even back at the hotel before deciding to pry into his apparent agoraphobia. This time Seunghyun held his hand out for you to take & you stared at it in shock for a few seconds before gleefully interlacing your fingers again and setting off once more towards your destination for food.

When you rounded the corner and pulled him in the direction of the restaurant, he stopped once again.

“Pho?” he said, a curious tone to his voice. “You're taking me out for Pho?”

You turned to face him, not letting go this time. “Is that a problem?”

“No...” he smiled & you could see it in his eyes, despite the face mask he still wore. “I'm pleasantly surprised. That's all.”

“Well come on then.” you told him, playfully tugging him along towards the door. “I'm starving!”

He chuckled and the two of you tumbled into the warmth of the Pho shop holding hands, laughing and pink cheeked from the cool outside air.

“You didn't tell me it was a date!” the woman who stood at the counter exclaimed loudly. “_______! You should have warned me.”

“It isn't... we're not...” you stammered, looking down at your interlocked hands. You attempted to pull away, but Seunghyun just held tighter and chuckled louder.

“Nonsense! I know a date when I see one.” she dismissed as she motioned for the two of you to follow her to the room in the back. “I wondered why you wanted to use the party room. You should have just said, dear!”

Thankfully you noticed that the restaurant was mostly empty as she walked you through it, so there weren't very many witnesses to your embarrassment and none that you recognized.

She opened the door and gestured the two of you inside. “Here, just sit at the smaller table in the middle of the room. It will be more intimate that way.”

Beside you, Seunghyun made a small choking sound as she continued fussing. “I wish you had told me it was a date when you called. I would have set up some candles or something.”

“It's fine.” you told her, voice cracking a bit. “It'll be fine just like this.” You all but ripped your hand away from Seunghyun's and started to take off your coat, but before you made it very far you felt his hands slide over yours to remove it for you. Then he draped it carefully over a nearby empty chair before he set about sliding out of his own outerwear.

“Such a gentleman!” the old lady exclaimed, hearts practically dancing in her eyes as she backed out of the room. “I'll be back with your drinks shortly.”

As soon as the door closed behind her, you rounded on Seunghyun and hissed. “What the hell was that?”

He held his hands up innocently, face mask still dangling from one long-fingered hand. “What?” he asked, laughing slightly, his eyes lit with mirth.

You plopped down into a chair inelegantly. “I was trying to let go of your hand and explain to her that this wasn't a date...”

“Is it not?” he interrupted, setting his mask down on top of his coat. “She's right, it does look like a date. And, you have to admit, it's slightly less awkward than the truth... that you're my babysitter.” he put a special emphasis on that last word that made you squirm in your seat a little bit.

“True...” you agreed. “I suppose when you put it like that...”you started, but Seunghyun held his hand up to you again just as he had earlier in the evening at the hotel. And, just like before, you stopped talking.

“But that isn't what's important right now.” he told you as he pulled out a chair and sat down in the seat across from you.

“It isn't?”

“No.” he said, his face utterly serious, all traces of joking gone. “It's probably best that she thinks it's a date. But I have to tell you something before she gets back.”

You leaned forward, resting your elbows on the table so you could give Seunghyun your full attention. He leaned forward as well, until your faces were mere inches apart.

“___________.” he whispered your name. “I have a confession to make. I'm not...” he took a deep breath and blew it out. “I'm not who you think I am.”

“A rich, foreign guy with impeccable fashion sense who knows his wine and appreciates contemporary art?” you quirked an eyebrow at him, spilling all the details that you'd managed to piece together over the past few hours you'd spent with Seunghyun (or at least all the observations that you were willing to admit to him, anyway).

He flashed you a dangerous smile. “Well, yes... I am those things. But that's not all of who I am and you need to know the vital details before...”

The door the room slid open again, interrupting whatever Seunghyun had been about to say & he cursed quietly under his breath. You watched as he leaned back in his seat and winced, seeming to brace himself for something he knew was inevitably coming. From the pained expression on his face, it didn't look as if he expected it to be pleasant.

“I've got your usual right here. Iced Vietnamese coffee and a glass of water. I brought the same for your gentleman, I hope that's okay.” the older lady said as she bustled over towards you. “Now, do you two love birds need menus or...” her voice trailed off as she finally made it to the table and caught a clear view of Seunghyuns face, without his mask. “Oh my...” her voice faltered, the tray immediately started shaking in her hands.

“Ma'am...” Seunghyun said tightly, pinching the bridge of his nose with his eyes still closed.

“Oh my goodness!” she practically yelled, her voice echoing slightly in the almost empty room. “Y- y- you're... T.O.P!” she whispered those last three letters as if they were some sort of secret.

You just looked between the two of them, completely lost as to what was going on. “Um, Mrs. Tran?” you placed a hand carefully on her arm to get her attention away from Seunghyun.

“Yes, dear?” she asked, still looking at him with sheer disbelief written all over her elderly face.

“You might want to set the tray down before you drop it.” you told her gently.

“Oh, yes... good idea.” she replied, voice weak.

She did finally manage to set the tray down on the table with a little help from you.

Seunghyun sighed, opened his eyes & smiled at the old woman. It was a polite smile, but tight. Something that someone who hadn't spent much time with him probably wouldn't notice as a fake smile, but you could see it nonetheless.

“Mrs. Tran...” he soothed, having picked up her name from when you'd said it. “Tonight, I'm not T.O.P. I'm just Seunghyun, trying to enjoy a normal date with the lovely ________, here. I'm happy to sign as many autographs as you want and I'll even mention this restaurant on my Instagram if you'd like a boost in business. But I'd appreciate it if you could keep my visit here a secret for now. And please, no pictures.” Seunghyun gestured over to you. “I'd like to keep our date as private as possible.”

You were so confused right now, but Mrs. Tran seemed to understand what was going on. It was as if a light bulb immediately went off over the little woman's head and she smiled knowingly. “Oooohhhhh, I get it. Don't worry, you aren't the first celebrity we've had in here. It's just been a very long time and you caught me off guard, that's all. I know how to be discreet.”

“Thank you.” he said with a little bow towards her that made her giggle like a school girl and blush.

“Now that's settled...” she clapped her hands together excitedly. “Menus?”

“I think I'll trust __________ to order for both of us. She obviously knows this place quite well.” Seunghyun said with a wink in your direction.

“Um...” you faltered, still reeling from their entire conversation, not to mention the fact that he had just referred to you as 'lovely'. 'Celebrity?' you thought quickly to yourself. 'What the hell is going on here & what have I gotten myself into?!?' you cleared your throat awkwardly.

“Is there anything you don't want to eat?” you asked him. “Or are you allergic to anything?”

Seunghyun smiled. “I'm allergic to peaches & I don't eat intestines. Other than that, I'm fair game.” he said, already reaching for a glass of water from the tray.

You nodded at him at turned back to face Mrs Tran. “Just double my usual then.”

“So...” she pulled out an order pad and pen from her apron. “A double #4 and two medium # 45's?”

“Actually, make those #45's a large please. We're both kinda hungry tonight.” you said without thinking of the implications of that sentence.

“Oh, I bet you are.” she sassed under her breath as she walked away, causing Seunghyun to almost snort water out of his nose. Mrs. Tran merely hummed happily to herself as she walked out of the room. As soon as the door shut, you could hear her yelling in Vietnamese, presumably to her husband who was in the kitchen.

You briefly thought about immediately grilling Seunghyun about this whole “celebrity” business, but as you remembered the look on his face as he braced himself earlier, you paused. You never wanted to see that look from him directed at you. So instead, you settled for pouring the coffee that had just finished steeping over the ice & sweetened, condensed milk in the other glass.

“Are we going to talk about this or would you rather pretend that whole scene never happened?” you asked, not trusting yourself to look at him.

A few seconds ticked by before he answered quietly. “You'd be willing to do that? Just ignore everything she said about me?”

You shrugged, stirring your coffee to combine it with the milk. “I mean... I'll admit to being curious. But it obviously bothers you & I was just fine with not knowing before.”

Seunghyun sighed heavily before pouring his own coffee. “Right now, I'm just Seunghyun to you. A rich, foreign guy with impeccable fashion sense who knows his wine and appreciates contemporary art.” he smirked. “If I tell you everything, that changes.” he said, his voice melancholy.

“It doesn't have to.” you told him softly. “Let's try this... You tell me your secret, and I'll tell you mine.” you said, finally looking up and locking eyes with him.

That statement seemed to intrigue him and he arched an eyebrow up at you. “You have a secret double life too?”

“Saying it like that makes it sound like I'm a superhero or something.” you laughed & smacked him playfully on the arm. “But, yeah... there are things that you don't know about me yet. Maybe not as big of a bombshell as yours, but still... something that might change the way you see me too.”

“How about we wait until after dinner?” he asked tentatively.

“Sounds like a plan.”

Interrupting the conversation, Mrs. Tran came back into the private room, bringing two large bowls of pho over and deposited a plate with bean sprouts, sprigs of basil and quarters of limes on the table; along with four egg rolls and two bowls of dipping sauce.

Seunghyun inhaled deeply. The aroma of the broth and the slices of rare beef and shrimp wontons floating atop the long rice noodles making his stomach growl once again. “This smells amazing.”

Mrs. Tran just giggled at him again. “You know, I didn't even realize Bigbang was in town...” she started before he held up a finger to his lips.

“Technically, we're not.” he whispered. “We're just... having a bit of a vacation that's all. Very hush-hush.”

“Ohhhhhh.....” she nodded knowingly. “I guess everyone needs a break sometimes. Well, I will just leave you two alone. I'll be back later to check in on you.” and without another word, she was gone.

Seunghyun started plucking the basil leaves off one of the sprigs, rolling them up and then ripping them into little pieces and dropping them in his soup while you watched him, completely mesmerized by the movements of his fingers.

“I guess you've had Pho before then?” you asked, taking an egg roll from your plate before tearing it in half, dipping it into the sauce & taking a bite.

Seunghyun nodded, “It's been a while though. So, thanks for bringing me here.” he told you sincerely, picking up an egg roll with his chopsticks and dipping it before taking his own crunchy bite.

“Show off...” you muttered, grumpily picking up your own chopsticks and spoon just to show him that you did, in fact, know how to use them.

Seunghyun merely laughed.

The two of you spent the next hour simply eating and discussing the art and artists from the museum exhibition. Conversation flowed between you effortlessly & before you knew it, Mrs. Tran was bringing in the check and fortune cookies.

Seunghyun pulled out his wallet and when you tried to object, reminded you that you'd paid for the taxi earlier. You caught a glimpse of the black card he held between his long, slender fingers & swallowed hard, nodding your head in acceptance.

You both made the decision to take the fortune cookies back to the hotel and, after Seunghyun spent some time signing the promised autographs for Mrs. Trang, you left the restaurant the same way you'd come in... laughing and holding hands.

Only this time, you were headed back to the hotel and a discussion that could possibly change everything between the two of you.

#Choi Seunghyn #T.O.P #kpop fanfic #bigbang fanfic #choi seunghyun fanfic #T.O.P fanfic #t.o.p bigbang #BIGBANG TOP

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theywontletmebeprincipal · 3 years

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can you give me drowsy headcanons, ramble, or anything please, i am so deprived. do not be afraid to make it super long, the more the better, i just love drowsy chaperone and love to hear other people (plus you’re one of the only people i’ve seen who knows a lot abt it)

ASK AND YE SHALL RECIEVE

I’ll divide this into a few different parts, going from least to most excruciatingly sad :)

1. general headcanons

2. in canon things i noticed and think about daily

3. a full analysis of man in chair’s connections with the drowsy chaperone as an in universe show (trigger warning for abuse ment, alcoholism ment, suicide ment)

SECTION ONE: HEADCANONS

- okay the chaperone is trans I don’t make the rules

- also her name is ambrosia :) she forsook her last name :)

- she’s about 12 years older than janet and kinda hung with janet’s family after leaving her own for a while . essentially she’s a big sister to janet

- aldolpho has some lines where he asks if the bride is big and/or burly and while in canon this is supposed to show he’s kind of a womanizer I like to believe it’s because he was fully prepared to fight her if needed

- speaking of which Of Course janet is ripped she does gymnastics

- my batshit crazy headcanon for this show is that dee dee allen from the prom is a descendant of roman bartelli no I will not elaborate

- is aldolpho one of those bitches with pets that definitely shouldn’t be legal? yessir

- post show kitty becomes a star okay I just want her to be happy

- the “pastry chefs” do discover a love of baking post show and now run a shop along with performing in feldzeig’s follies which might maybe be a front for some crime too

- TRIX DROWSY AND ALDOLPHO WORLD TRAVELING POLYCULE CAUSING PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE

- underling’s name is james I will not elaborate on this either

- show never says what trix does so I’ve decided she’s an explorer. she charts maps and punches colonialists and drags her stupid friends along with her, the only bitch in the show with a braincell

- drowsy was a former vaudeville child star pre transition - she left the business but was a mentor to janet

- I do have a headcanon for mic’s name but in the spirit of every actor who’s ever played him I won’t fucking tell

SECTION TWO: SHIT I NOTICED

- robert refers to himself by full name a lot of the time which is v interesting given he’s named after the writer, bob martin (whose wife is also named janet van de graaf). the real bob martin is like five feet away at all times playing mic

- idk how to describe it but the dynamic kitty and feldzeig (VICTOR felgzeig. we have a name from one (1) line) have when talking to each other is so snappy and funny and good

- aldolpho’s lines in spanish are mostly romantic bullshit but his first one hints that he has/had a wife who, if we’re taking the translation literally, refused to touch him. yeah I’ll bring this up in analysis

- the “pastry chefs” provide liquor for the wedding even though it has absolutely no relevance to their mission of stopping it :)

- drowsy is like. SUPER endearing towards janet and despite her bad social skills it’s super clear she cares a lot about her

- robert speaks fluent french apparently

- everyone says “ew” after aldolpho reveals his affair with drowsy despite her being a certified milf

- the body language of drowsy in the end of the show where she takes mic’s hands and breaks the barrier between reality and fiction is just so good. she was iconic the whole show but I honestly think this final bit is what won beth leavel the Tony in the end

SECTION THREE: OH NO

before diving into the way the drowsy chaperone affects his character, we need to understand what exactly it’s playing off of. to fully understand mic’s attachment to the drowsy chaperone, we need to outline what led him to isolating himself and living in fiction to the extent that he does.

mic’s father left his family at an early age and his semi estranged alcoholic mother was the one who began his love for theatre. mic grew up in a broken household and eventually moved on to land in a one sided marriage, which lasted a few months until he slipped up and expressed his discomfort with the situation, after which he and his wife split. nowadays, he lives alone in his apartment surrounded by records he uses to escape to a better life - his favorite of which being the one his mother gave him, the drowsy chaperone.

symbolism in the drowsy chaperone regarding mic’s life can be split into two main categories - mommy issues and internalized homophobia. there isn’t nearly as much mom symbolism as there is the latter, so I’ll cover that first.

drowsy covers both bases, but she definitely has some undeniable mom symbolism going on. drowsy marries aldolpho and mom dreams of being swept off her feet by a latin lover, both feel they’ve wasted their chances at love, both drink to forget, etc. this is where the idea of the drowsy chaperone being mic’s ideal way for things to work out, a positive parallel, comes into play. given that we don’t hear too much about mic’s mom other than her connections to major life events and the record itself, we can assume they grew apart in one way or another. the key difference is that drowsy finds a happy relationship for herself and retains her bond with janet, unlike what we’re led to assume mom was like.

further elaborating on the drowsy chaperone representing mic’s ideal fantasy version of events is the wedding the drowsy chaperone’s plot centers around. here’s a list of the things that didn’t stop that damn wedding:

- a minister not showing up

- the groom cheating on the bride with the bride

- the bride having a complete mental breakdown

- indirect mafia interference

- direct mafia interference

on the flip side, what little mic says about his wedding indicates it sucked absolute ass. he spent the entire ceremony in internal distress as he went through with a life changing event he, at that point, knew at least a bit that he didn’t want. I think he also implies he had severe diarrhea on the wedding day? it gets worse when you realize mic’s relationship before the wedding wasn’t any good for him either - he was playing along the whole time because it would be cruel not to, right?

throughout the show, mic is pretty clearly shown as an extremely repressed gay man. there are five specific instances that point at romantic and/or sexual attraction to men directly and another moment outside of his commentary that pretty much confirms it if you look a little bit deeper. thus, here is what I propose - to mic, the drowsy chaperone’s wedding plot represents a world where he was able to ignore that part of himself and have a happy marriage with his wife despite all the overwhelming obstacles thrown at him. however, bits and pieces of that internalized homophobia manage to show themselves throughout the drowsy chaperone anyway despite its happy ending. here’s a rundown on a few significant instances:

- by the end of the show, the “pastry chefs”, who had literally been planning to kill feldzeig, have left their life of crime to perform with him. this symbolizes how in mic’s ideal world he would have been able to turn away from what he perceived at the time as living wrongly - his homosexuality

- at the same time, the “pastry chefs” have this line, spoken in regards to janet: “if she gets married and leaves the show... there ain’t no show.” this is a take on mic’s subconscious concern that he might lose himself if he goes on with his marriage pretending everything is alright - of course, as we already know, he doesn’t listen

- “cold feets” is a pretty obvious instance of mic’s hesitation

- aldolpho’s line in spanish regarding the wife who won’t touch him flips to reflect on mic’s treatment of his own ex wife - she was alien to him as a lover, just as aldolpho was to this woman

- janet recalls her meeting robert at a point in the show and states “we spooned, briefly, then he proposed.” though mic’s relationship pre marriage was much longer than that, it must have felt that way to him - just as quick and nonsensical as janet describes

- just as janet is caught in showbiz but has a toxic love for it, so does mic with his own repressed life

- janet has a line in “show off” that alludes to her experiencing harassment/assault: “I don’t wanna be cheered no more/ praised no more/ grabbed no more/ touched no more/ loved no more” , which I believe represents the way mic perceived his intimacy with his wife - labeled as love yet unenjoyable for him

- “I look into his eyes... I get all woozy. and that’s... love, isn’t it?” is another very clear nod to mic’s misconception of love based off the only thing he’s ever experienced, relationships with women he’s had to fake

- this is the part where I tell you the lyrics to toledo surprise are a metaphor for actively suppressing gay thoughts. I’ll just leave you with “if it tries to rise; don’t let it”. these lyrics are not comprehensive enough to make a dish - trust me, I have tried. it’s also notable that they serve a double entendre as instructions on how to beat the shit out of someone, but several lyrics are also directed towards the singer/audience. for example: “it’s a snap/ try it folks/ whip your whites/ split your yolks” is an easy metaphor for the unhealthy mental gymnastics required to repress oneself so wholeheartedly

it’s also worth noting the obvious just for the sake of it - mic copes with all this by isolating himself in a safe spot where he can use musicals to escape and live his ideal fantasy, even if it’s only for a short time. there are plenty of nods to this throughout the drowsy chaperone as well. in “as we stumble along” drowsy notes that “the best that we can do is hope a bluebird/ will sing a song/ as we stumble along” - to mic, musicals are his bluebird. while mic mostly indulges in these fantasies, he knows to a certain extent the sheer amount of time he’s spending in them is unhealthy. the first line of the show is “I hate theatre” and I think that to an extent? he does. obviously mic loves theatre as a concept, that can’t be denied. what he hates is the way he’s allowed it to confine him.

with all that out of the way, let’s move on to the most important moment of the show. if you’ve ever seen the show, you’ll know exactly which scene I’m talking about immediately. I’m referring to, of course, the infamous “l-ve while you can” scene. as janet stands at the alter she asks drowsy for one final word of advice, which is partially obscured by aldolpho dropping his cane. “l-ve while you can.” it’s a simple moment, but mic reveals to us that he’s been agonizing over it for years - did drowsy say “live” or “leave”? it occurs to everyone eventually, whether a couple days after the show like with me, or years after like with bob martin’s replacement on broadway that the most likely answer is that she had said “love while you can”. it’s this moment, when you realize why mic had never seen that as an option, that the drowsy chaperone’s status as a musical within a comedy within a tragedy is solidified. mic had no love in his life - his parents hated each other and he was forcing himself into relationships in which he felt nothing. to him, living and leaving were options, but loving never was. so he locked himself away.

as the final note on the record is playing, all power in mic’s apartment shuts down and the fantasy is ruined. the superintendent arrives and further invades his space, breaking the private sanctity he had built up for so long. she fixes the power and before mic can stop it from happening, the final note of the record plays. and the super recognizes it as a musical. she makes a remark about how much her wife loves musicals and leaves, completely unaware of what she’s just done.

mic sits in silence for a while. and then he begins to sing. gradually, the cast members begin to echo their songs, dancing around him but never touching him. then drowsy appears and sings harmony to mic. and she takes his hands. the show ends with the entire cast, including mic, taking off on trix’s airplane as the curtain falls, drowsy handing mic his record as the plane takes off.

some people interpret the ending as mic committing suicide, finally deciding between live and leave. I don’t personally believe that and neither does writer and original mic bob martin, but it’s still a valid interpretation. the drowsy chaperone’s ending is ambiguous, yes, but not to that extent. no matter what you believe the ending means, it was brought on not by the interruption of the fantasy, but by whatever realization the super’s remark about her wife triggered. as I see it, there are two main options here.

option one - mic realizes he still has time to live and to love. when he was younger the prospect of living as himself was unthinkable to him, yet now he sees that while he was spending countless years alone the world grew. drowsy offers mic her hand, an invitation to finally become what he had admired in her - someone who isn’t anywhere near perfect, but is damn well trying and living life without regret. he accepts.

option two - mic realizes that while he spent years alone the world moved on without him and he’s isolated himself so much from social interaction that he’d no longer be able to make a meaningful connection with anyone outside. so he stays inside instead, never trying, always trapped between live and leave. drowsy offers mic her hand - at least he’ll have a tune to carry with him.

I really want to believe we got option one. I think option one is the intended, really, given mic ends the show with a joyful goodbye to the audience. but the way that the ending is still left open for interpretation makes it so that we can never really know - we as the audience only get to be privy to a small part of mic’s life, and we don’t get the answers we want because at the end of the day they’re irrelevant to us - all we can do is make our own choice.

#the drowsy chaperone #musical theatre #musicals #broadway #musical meta #man in chair

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keanureevesisbae · 4 years

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Mister Cavill, your dog is kinda fat - Chapter 2

Summary: Veterinarian Olivia Tran has zero time for bullshit. After becoming a mom at age twenty three, the one thing she wants is a good life for her daughter Vanessa. Her ex didn’t want anything to do with her nor the baby and she decided that man are officially banned out of her life. But then she meets Henry Cavill at her clinic and her ban slowly starts to crumble apart. Henry on the other hand is looking for one thing: a family. And when he meets Olivia Tran, he finds just that.

Henry Cavill x Olivia Tran (ofc)

Warnings: Mentions of vomit and blood.

Wordcount: 4.5k

A/N: Yesterday was like a dream, seeing the sweetest comments flood in. A big thank you to everyone xx If you still want to be on the taglist, it’s never too late, just tell me 🤗

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There is one thing that Henry has always wanted in life and that was getting married and having a family of his own. Growing up with four brothers, he always envisioned himself being surround by a beautiful wife, with lots of kids.

But he has reached the age of thirty seven and though he hasn’t got a lot to worry about—his biological clock isn’t ticking—he thought that by now, he’d at least have a wife and one kid.

Now he only has Kal, his loyal canine that he adores with all his heart. He takes a sip of his beer, as he watches some lame romantic comedy. It’s Friday night and as a single man, he could be on a date of course, but his profession as an actor, makes it even harder to date.

Most women are either in it for the fame and his money.

He witnessed his relationships crumble apart and now he is back being single, sitting on the couch with his dog, staring at a television screen. Last year he was thinking about starting a family, but he pushed it aside, enjoying his life as an actor. The movies he did were going great, but after the latest movie he did…

It was kind of a flop. It didn’t meet up to the expectations of the public and since that moment, he has been living a quite boring life, not thinking about taking any other offers. He wakes up, walks Kal and thinks about ways to meet the love of his life.

Henry isn’t so sure anymore about his acting career.

His mind wanders during the movie. He thinks about a future with a wife and kids. He can already see it happening: he would roll over in bed, wrap his arms around the love of his life, to slowly wake her up, before their kids would rush into the room and jump on their bed. He can imagine his beautiful wife sitting on the kitchen counter, with a few mini versions of them sitting next to her, as he is cooking for the entire family.

Henry rubs his face, fatigue kicking in. He shuts off the television and gives the big bear a kiss on top of his head. ‘You want a little something to eat before you go to bed?’ he asks Kal.

Kal wags his tail as an answer, accompanied with a bark.

Henry can’t help but chuckle.

It can pretty hard training Kal, but with the right amount of snacks, this dog can listen to him. Sometimes he even thinks that Kal can read his mind.

They go to the kitchen and he gives him a little kibble before he sleeps. He opens up the newest Doggy Herb bag and notices a slight change in color, but he shrugs it off. He bought Doggy Herb since the day he got Kal, so maybe there is more meat in this one that in the previous ones. He throws some in a bowl and watches as Kal gulps it all up.

The two of them walk up the stairs when Kal is done eating and he gets himself ready for the night. Henry stares at the sink in the bathroom, noticing the space that is left, because he doesn’t have anyone to share it with.

Before he can feel totally sorry for himself, he spits out the toothpaste and walks to his bedroom. He strips down to his underwear and steps into the bed, Kal joining him on the sheets.

He watches Kal falling asleep almost instantly and hopefully Henry can do the same.

But he can’t.

His mind keeps racing, constantly racing. The terrible reviews of his latest movie, the way how women kept saying how they want to have his kids, but none of them is good enough. He wants to fall in love with someone, someone who understands him, who loves him for who he is. A woman that he has an instant connection with. A woman where he can be himself.

When he does fall asleep, Henry dreams about a faceless woman, who holds onto his hand, as they watch their little kids running around in the yard, Kal barking as he runs in between the giggling kids.

That’s all he wants.

Henry is about to give his faceless wife a kiss, when he wakes up from hurling sounds that definitely aren’t his. He opens his eyes, turns on the light on his nightstand, to see Kal puking out his kibble on the new carpet.

Great, exactly what he needs. This is why he can’t have new stuff.

Henry gets out of bed and sits next to his dog. ‘Bud, you okay?’ he asks, but Kal’s legs give out and he collapses to the floor. His eyes are still open, but he whimpers and his breathing isn’t going as steady as it normally is.

‘No, no, no, Kal,’ Henry says, panic dripping through every word he speaks. He tries to find his phone as quickly as possible and Googles ‘Animal Clinics London’. He calls three different clinics, but none are picking up, not even the one that he usually goes to. He sees one that is an hour away, but in all honesty, Henry would arrange a private jet to fly them off to a vet that did pick up the fucking phone and he didn’t even care if he had to travel to another continent.

The phone rings twice, before he hears: ‘Animal Clinic Westside, doctor Olivia Tran, how may I help you?’

The woman sounds friendly, that’s a good start. ‘Hello, I’m terribly sorry for calling at this hour, but my dog is vomiting and I see some blood in it. He collapsed and is breathing really heavily and I don’t know what to do.’

‘Sir, it’s okay,’ she says. ‘Did your dog eat anything out of the ordinary today?’

He doesn’t even know for sure. ‘Not that I know of.’

‘You think it’s possible for you to come to the clinic? I’d like to see the dog.’

‘Of course, of course,’ Henry says.

‘I hope it’s not too much to ask, but could you take some of the vomit with you? Especially the part with some blood. I’d like to check it.’

Doctor Olivia Tran could’ve asked him to bring three human kidneys and he’d bring it, anything for his Kal. ‘I’ll bring it with me, of course.’

‘What kind of breed is your dog, sir?’

‘An American Akita. His name is Kal.’ Henry strokes the fur of Kal, blinking away the tears.

‘I’ll be at the clinic in about forty minutes, mister…’

Henry picks up on what she’s trying to do. ‘Cavill and I can be at the clinic in about an hour.’

They hang up shortly afterwards and Kal lets out a soft whimper. ‘Hang in there, bud,’ he tells the dog. ‘You can’t die on me. You really can’t.’

≫≫≪≪

With a weak Kal in his arms, Henry rushes into the clinic, only to discover that doctor Tran is already waiting for him. He doesn’t know what he was expecting, but he certainly wasn’t expecting her. He is mesmerized by her dark brown eyes, her perfect lips and her hair that’s in a messy bun, a few strands framing her face.

This woman is beyond beautiful. He can’t believe that someone like her is even real. The way she tilts her head, while she scans him shamelessly from top to bottom, makes him feel all sorts of things.

He concludes he has been single for too long.

‘Mister Cavill?’ she asks, causing him to snap back into reality.

‘Yes,’ he hastily says. ‘That’s me.’

‘Follow me.’ She walks in front of him, into the first examination room. Her fingers tap on the table and he gently places his dog on the hard surface. She strokes the fur on top of Kal’s head. ‘Let’s see what’s with you,’ she says, putting on some gloves. ‘You brought the samples?’

‘Yes, yes, I did,’ he says, clearing his throat. He shouldn’t be mesmerized by the vet in front of him, but he can’t stop staring at her. He hands her the bag and she sets it aside, while she opens Kal’s eyes, looking into them.

Before he can say something else, he hears small footsteps echo into the room. ‘Can I watch?’

Henry looks up, to see a small girl standing in the doorway. This must be the daughter of doctor Tran, because that girl is the spitting image of the woman standing in front of him. The doctor does look young though, almost too young to have a daughter who is at least five years old.

He needs to shake the thought of the doctor off of him, he tells himself. She has a daughter, so there is a plausible chance she’s taken.

Doctor Tran doesn’t look up from her clipboard, while she’s scribbling something down. ‘If mister Cavill doesn’t mind.’

The young girl looks up at him, two hopeful eyes meeting his. ‘No, of course not,’ he says, his heart melting at the sight of the hopeful look in her eyes.

The little girl walks over to the examination table, dragging a stool with her. She stands next to Henry and even when she’s standing on it, she can barely peek over the edge of the table. ‘Mommy,’ she asks, confirming that the little girl is indeed doctor Tran her daughter, ‘should I introduce myself?’

The doctor nods, while she checks the vomit, scrunching her nose. ‘That’s the polite thing to do, sweetheart.’

The girl holds out a tiny hand and says: ‘My name is Vanessa Tran.’

‘Hi Vanessa,’ Henry says in a soft voice, before holding onto her hand, that nearly disappears in his. ‘My name is Henry Cavill and this is Kal.’

Doctor Tran looks up from the bag of vomit. ‘Henry Cavill?’ she asks. ‘Isn’t there an actor whose name is Henry Cavill?’

‘Yeah, there is.’ Henry chuckles, feeling a bit awkward, but also amused that she doesn’t recognize him. It’s nice to be unrecognizable, even if it’s for a short amount of time. ‘That actor would be me.’

Her eyes widen. ‘Oh,’ she says, but she can’t seem to find the right words to say.

‘Mommy, is this man famous?’ Vanessa asks, while not breaking eye contact with Henry. The little girl blinks her eyes, almost in disbelieve that someone famous is standing next to her.

Doctor Tran pulls herself together. ‘Yes, sweetheart, he plays in some movies. He even played Superman.’

Vanessa widens her eyes as well and yet again she looks just like her mother. ‘Wow, Superman is here.’ She starts to giggle, a sound that Henry already adores. ‘So, if you are Superman, you are really strong.’

‘He is,’ doctor Tran says, placing the vomit samples aside. ‘He carried his dog inside.’ Henry can’t help but beam with pride as he takes in the compliment from the doctor.

‘Wow,’ Vanessa says again. She holds out her arms and asks him if he can lift her up. Henry looks over at the doctor, who smiles and simply nods, a non verbal sign of consent.

Henry lifts the little girl up in his arms and she wraps an arm around his neck.

‘I can’t wait to tell miss Sue that I met Superman.’

He can’t help but laugh, the little girl and her comments already making him feel less scared about what can happen to Kal. ‘Doctor Tran,’ he finally says, ‘is everything okay with Kal?’

‘What kind of kibble do you give him?’ she asks, while she is checking his heartbeat.

‘Doggy Herb,’ he answers, while Vanessa is tugging his curls, pulling on one strand until it’s straight, before letting it go and watching it curl together again. ‘Why?’

She looks up. ‘Well, then the news hasn’t reached you yet. We’ve had multiple cases of dogs who started to vomit after they ate the Doggy Herb kibble, some of them included blood. The manufacturer changed something in the ingredients and now lots of dogs have severe reactions to it.’

This woman demands all of his attention, without even trying. She is absolutely breathtaking and if she wasn’t talking about his sick dog, nor had a daughter, he’d ask her out.

‘Oh.’ Henry feels guilty. ‘I thought there was something different about it. I opened a new bag today.’

‘How much did you gave him?’

‘A little bit, at around eleven,’ he answers.

She smiles and without her telling him something, he already feels more at ease. ‘Then you have nothing to worry about. I’m going to put an IV on him, so he can rehydrate a bit. After that I’m going to give him some medicine and I’ll give you something to give him at home. In about three hours, you can take him home with you again.’

‘Really?’

She nods. ‘Really, sir. If you could place him on the floor? That would be easier for Kal and me.’

‘I’m sorry, miss Vanessa,’ he says, before he gently places the girl back on her feet. He shouldn’t feel this desperate need to impress the doctor. However, he can’t help but flex his muscles a little bit, as he carries the dog to the corner of the examination room.

‘Wow, mommy, he is really strong,’ Vanessa says.

‘No wonder he was Superman,’ doctor Tran says. She looks through some drawers and says: ‘I figure you want to wait here.’

‘I do, I do,’ he says.

‘If you want, you can grab something to drink around the corner. Maybe a coffee will help you stay awake.’

Does he look that miserable? Does he look that tired?

‘I can tell you how the machine works,’ Vanessa says. ‘I know how it works.’

‘That would be nice,’ he admits. Vanessa takes ahold of his hand and tugs him with her. He follows the little girl and he sees himself in the reflection of a mirror that’s right next to the coffee machine.

He does look miserable. His eyes are still red from the bit of crying he did when he drove to the clinic and the bed hair looks like multiple crows have been nesting there.

‘My mommy is going to make Kal better,’ Vanessa says, before grabbing a paper cup. ‘You don’t have to worry.’

‘I wasn’t worried,’ he tells the young girl, but the second it leaves his lips, he realized he only said that to impress the doctor. God, he is lying to a little girl, just to impress her mother, who isn’t even in the same room. For all he knows, the woman is married and the girl’s dad is at home.

But, come to think of it, why would she take her daughter to work then?

Vanessa starts to frown and she takes a step to the side, so she’s standing in the doorway. ‘Mommy, can I tell Superman he is lying and that you’re not supposed to lie?’

He can hear doctor Tran laughing. ‘You can tell Superman that, sweetheart.’

Henry feels a little finger poking his thigh. ‘Superman, you are lying and you’re not supposed to lie. My mommy says that you should tell the truth, especially about your feelings.’

He is genuinely impressed. This young girl is really in touch with her own feelings and can verbalize it. That’s extraordinary for someone her age, he thinks to himself. Doctor Tran is doing a good job with raising her.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says to Vanessa. ‘I’ll try to be better.’

‘You should, you are Superman after all.’

He has a paper cup filled with coffee and they accompany Kal and the doctor again. She hands Vanessa a juice box and says she needs to fill in some paperwork, but that the two of them can keep Kal company.

Vanessa and Henry stare at Kal, while Vanessa is slowly stroking his fur. It’s obvious that she’s growing more and more tired with every passing second, but she is desperately trying to stay awake. It’s really endearing, if Henry’s being honest and really not helping with his own baby fever.

‘My mommy is also a superhero,’ Vanessa says. ‘Not like Superman of course, but she always saves animals.’

‘Well,’ Henry says, unintentionally loud enough for doctor Tran to hear it, ‘your mom is an even better hero than Superman.’

That confuses her, because she frowns. ‘Why?’

‘Because I play Superman. It’s pretending. Your mom is not pretending.’

He watches Vanessa nod, as she is taking in what he just said. ‘Yeah, you are right. My mommy is a better hero.’ She sighs deeply. ‘Mister Henry, do you have kids?’

God, the girl is barely five or six years old, but she surely knows how to wrench his heart. ‘I don’t.’

‘Why not?’

‘Why not what?’

She rolls her eyes annoyed, probably thinking he is a slow one for not understanding. ‘Why don’t you have kids?’

He clears his throat. ‘I don’t have a wife,’ he says. ‘And you need two people for that.’

Her mouth falls open. ‘Well, my mommy doesn’t have a husband. I’ve always wanted a daddy,’ she admits with bitter sweet honesty. ‘But my real daddy didn’t want me.’

‘Enough, Vanessa,’ he hears doctor Tran say in a stern voice from the other room.

‘But mommy…’

‘No, enough. Don’t talk about that with strangers.’

‘But this man is not a stranger mom. He is Superman, he can help us.’

Doctor Tran walks into the room, an annoyed look on her face. She doesn’t say anything, just stares at her daughter, raising an eyebrow in the process.

Vanessa pouts. ‘Sorry.’

The doctor leaves the room again and Henry asks Vanessa about school, hoping the kid doesn’t start about her estranged father again, though he wants to know more about that and it is a convenience: doctor Tran is single from what she just told him.

He finds out that she is six and can already read what’s on the posters in the examination room. Even though this kid isn’t his own, he can’t help but feel proud, when she recites the entire alphabet and shows him that she can count to a hundred.

But all while she’s doing that, fatigue is catching up with her and eventually she falls asleep against his arm. He carefully lifts her up, hoping that he doesn’t wake her up and walks to the room where doctor Tran is currently doing some paperwork.

‘Oh, she’s asleep,’ she says when she notices Henry standing in the doorway.

‘Yeah, she was pretty tired.’

She smiles, before holding out her arms. ‘I’ll be right back,’ she says, as she holds her daughter close to her body. She leaves the room and probably will tuck her daughter in somewhere. He sits next to his dog, looks at him, looking less and less fatigued and more like his own happy go lucky self.

‘Kal is looking better,’ she says, while she crouches down next to the dog. Kal stares at her, almost with heart eyes. ‘I recommend you switch to something like Purina One, or something like that,’ she tells him. ‘Doesn’t matter, everything but Doggy Herb.’

‘Is it deadly?’ he asks. ‘The other kibble.’

She shakes her head. ‘Well, no, wait, that’s a lie. If you give him lots of it, it can be fatal.’

‘I feel so stupid.’

The doctor looks at him. ‘Don’t,’ she says. ‘From the looks of it, you are a great owner.’ She checks the bag with fluids and says: ‘I want him on the scale for a second.’ She removes the IV from him, but from the looks of it, Kal is too tired to move.

‘Why on the scale?’

‘To determine how much of the medicine he needs,’ she tells him. ‘We don’t want to OD him, do we?’

It’s almost a cruel joke, but he can’t help but laugh. This woman is quite something and he is seriously intrigued.

Henry is yet again going out of his way to impress the beautiful doctor, but her facial expressions don’t give away much. She turns on the scale and writes down what she sees. ‘You can place him there,’ she says, pointing near the entrance. ‘Maybe the view will help him a bit. He should get moving in about half an hour.’ He places his furry companion near the door and Kal can move his head up, staring to the silent outside world, all still too deep asleep. When he looks at the doctor again, she taps the screen of the scale. ‘Now I know how much you both weigh, but I need Kal’s weight.’

Why is he feeling insecure? She’ll probably know that his weight is mostly muscle, that is shows his hard work. He steps on the scale and watches her scribble something on the paper. When Henry steps off, he notices her frown. ‘What?’ he asks.

‘This only confirms what I thought.’

‘What?’ he asks again.

‘Mister Cavill, your dog is kinda fat.’

She could’ve slapped in across his cheek and he wouldn’t be as surprised as he is now. Kal is fat? ‘Excuse me,’ he says in a defensive tone, crossing his arms in front of his buffed out chest. ‘My dog isn’t fat.’

Doctor Tran doesn’t seem impressed by his facade at all. ‘He is,’ she tells him. ‘An average American Akita weights between the forty and sixty kilos. Your dog weighs seventy kilos, while he should be between the fifty and sixty kilos.’

‘It’s muscle.’ Geez, he never thought he could get this defensive.

The doctor tries to hide a smile and her overall amusement, but she is failing miserably. ‘It’s fat, I already felt that back in the examination room.’

‘But how is he too fat?’

She shrugs. ‘You feed him too much, I guess. I’m not there with you when you feed him.’

‘I give him the prescribed amount of kibble.’ And a bit more, but his dog can’t possible get fat from that, right?

‘Do you train Kal?’

He nods. ‘I do.’

‘And do you give him snacks?’

He searches though his pocket and finds a chunk that he usually gives Kal during training.

‘How many do you give him?’ she asks, studying the snack as she takes it from him.

‘About twelve of those during a training session and I do those about two or three times.’

’No wonder he is fat.’

Does the doctor need to be this crude? His dog nearly died, could she show him some compassion?

‘Mister Cavill, this is the size of a pound,’ she tells him. She breaks it into four smaller bits and adds: ‘Dogs don’t care about the size of their snack. Instead giving him one of those, giving him a fourth, isn’t something he’ll notice.’

Henry sighs deeply, embarrassed of his defensiveness. ‘I’m sorry,’ he says.

‘For getting defensive?’ she guesses. ‘Oh no, it’s totally understandable. Someone is saying something about someone you care about. But, sir, it’s my job to make sure Kal is the healthiest he can be. Just give him seventy five percent of what you would normally give him, give him tons of walks and don’t give him the entire snack, just a quarter will do.’

He nods, taking the tips in. ‘Thank you, doctor Tran.’

≫≫≪≪

Kal is finally feeling better and Vanessa has woken up again. She is hanging around Kal’s neck, giving him tons of kisses. Kal doesn’t seem to mind, because he continues to lick Vanessa’s face when he gets the chance. Henry knew that his loyal dog was good with children, but this is on another level.

‘I’m sorry that I called,’ he says to doctor Tran, who is leaning against the counter, her white coat hanging open, revealing a thick looking sweater.

‘Why? Your dog was sick and you called a vet. It’s okay, I knew what I was doing when I sighed up for the job.’ She looks at her daughter and adds: ‘Besides, I think I have a very tired, but very happy six year old for the weekend. She got to pet a lovely dog and met Superman. Honestly, I should thank you for calling our clinic.’

Henry lets his gaze drop on the petite doctor that is standing next to her. He doesn’t believe in love at first sight, but he certainly does believe in attraction at first sight. It has been a long time since Henry met a woman like doctor Olivia Tran. She blatantly told him his dog was fat and told her daughter that she could say to “Superman” that he was lying. She is definitely something else and he hates it that he has to leave now.

‘Well, thank you,’ he says, ‘for helping out Kal. I don’t know what I would’ve done if he didn’t make it.’ He holds out his hand and the doctor leaves him hanging for a good second, before she places her slender hand in his, adding: ‘It’s my job, mister Cavill.’

‘Henry, please, call me Henry.’

She nods. ‘Okay, Henry, I’ll see you in a few weeks, for his yearly shots he needs to have according to his passport and we have to check if you are a strict enough owner, because this little fatty needs to lose some weight.’ She lets go of his hand, before scratching the Akita behind his ears.

‘Mommy, can we have a dog?’

‘No, angel, we can’t,’ she says. ‘So give Kal one last kiss and say goodbye to Henry, okay?’

Vanessa does what her mother tells her to do, because she gives Kal a kiss on his nose and walks over to Henry, who crouches down, so he is about the same height as the little girl. ‘It was very nice to meet you, Vanessa,’ Henry says.

She wraps her arms around his broad shoulders. ‘It was nice to meet you too, mister Henry,’ she whispers, still a bit groggy. She lets go of him and walks to her mom, holding onto her hand tightly.

‘Thank you, again.’

‘Of course,’ doctor Tran smiles. ‘And I’ll see you in a few weeks.’

He steps out of the clinic with Kal and sighs deeply. This was quite something, he thinks to himself. As he walks towards his car, he looks over his shoulder, only to see Vanessa being picked up by her mother, balancing on her hip. The two of them wave to him and he smiles, holding out his hand and waving back.

When he gets into his car, Kal sitting next to him, he lets out a groan. He shouldn’t have a crush on this vet, he really shouldn’t.

But Henry keeps thinking about how doctor Tran stared at him, how Vanessa hugged him and how his dog seemed to be at ease with them, loving the doctor from the looks of it and adoring the attention Vanessa gave him.

He forces himself to stop thinking about this, because for all he knows, this is the last time he would see either of them. He doesn’t even know if his favorite veterinarian will be helping him when he gets back in a few weeks for Kal’s shots. ‘Forget about it, Henry,’ he tells himself sternly. ‘You’re not a teenager anymore, with a crush on someone he can’t date anyway.’

Taglist: @thelastsock // @flhorah // @sausagefest1996 // @laufeysodinson // @xxxkatxo // @memoriesat30 // @henrythickcavill // @crimsonrae // @henryobsessed // @madbaddic7ed // @summersong69 // @lyrafraiser // @peakygroupie // @coldmuffinbanditshoe // @mary-ann84 // @thereisa8ella //@crazyandanonymous4u // @xuxszx

#henry cavill #henry cavill x ofc #henry cavill x oc #mister cavill your dog is kinda fat #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill x Olivia Tran

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ravs6709 · 3 years

Text

These Feelings Inside (How Deep Do They Go)

Chapter 1- Filled With Warmth

Artwork found here by @xkcd2020!

Read on ao3

Masterlist. Previous. Next.

Sophie Foster has been pining after Fitz Vacker for years. With no sign of him returning the feelings, she goes through heartbreak. A siren takes advantage of this, and tries to transfer their curse to her. However, the process goes awry. Now, Sophie must find a way to stay human, or risk losing her memories- or the memories of those she loves.

Aka a Sokeefitz au heavily inspired by Siren's Lament (the webtoon by instantmiso)

Side ships include Marellinh, QPR Dexiana, and some bonus ones!

Okay, so uh... hi! This is my contribution to the @kotlc2021collab! It's a little late for reasons, but it's now here! Thank you to @fanartofthelostcities for being my beta reader, and @xkcd2020 for being my artist! The summary for this fic is above! I'm so excited to share this with you, I've enjoyed myself writing, and I hope you enjoy reading it!

So welcome to chapter 1, aka, the really long prologue! I'm not going to say much else, but just one thing so to not be confused at first. Fitz is a trans guy, but he doesn't come out until later in the chapter.

Warnings: Mentioned death

Anyways, enjoy! Oh, and the art can be found here!

•~•~•~•~•~•

Sophie Foster pulled her grey hoodie further over her head, pulling the strings so everything could be blocked out. The sight, the sounds, everything . But it wasn't working at all. When, just when, would all these people just leave her alone?

•~•~•~•~•~•

Her first day of middle school wasn't as bad. As long as she kept herself invisible, stopped herself from standing out, her experiences from before wouldn't be repeated. She would get through the day, and then meet the new people who had decided to adopt her.

It worked. Nobody bothered paying attention to the small girl wearing dull colours. It was a relief.

She didn't even remember what happened next, only that her temporary guardian had come in, saying that her new parents had arrived. Sophie pulled the hood off of her head, but she still kept her arms in her pocket.

When she stepped out of the room, she saw the two new faces. They looked a little older than she'd imagined, somewhere in their fifties, maybe? Two figures stood there: one with amber hair and a serene smile; the other blond with a more friendly grin.

"Hello Sophie," the amber-haired one greeted. "I heard your pronouns are she and her, right?"

Sophie gave them a hesitant smile, then nodded. If they were polite enough to confirm that, then they couldn't be that bad, would it?

"I'm Edaline, she and her."

"I'm Grady," the other one added. "He and him. If you prefer, you can call us mom and dad. Or use our names, your choice." He added when she didn't say anything else.

"We'll do our best to make sure that you feel happy," Edaline promised. "But for now, small steps. You'll come with us to your new home. If you need, we'll give you space, but we'll be right here."

"Okay," Sophie murmured.

And it wasn't too bad. They were exceptionally kind, and it felt nice. Sometimes, they would look tired and distance themselves a little bit, but Sophie understood, as sometimes, she felt the same way.

With her home life improving, it made her feel better about herself. Still, no one had tried to hurt her at school, so maybe, just maybe, she could stop trying to blend in that much. Maybe she could try and make a friend?

•~•~•~•~•~•

Out of the sports that they had played in gym class, volleyball was her favourite. But even then, it was way more fun to watch than to actually play. There was one girl in her class who just seemed to have a lot of fun though. Her name was Biana, and she was talented. She was light on her feet, and her teal eyes would gleam whenever she made a good volley.

They were like opposites in just about every way. Sophie was frail and pale and blonde and bad at social interactions and physical exercises. Biana was chubby, had brown skin and brown hair, she had plenty of friends and she was actually good at more sports than volleyball. They were completely different people, in different worlds too.

So when Biana came up to her, she was surprised. Because this was Biana Vacker! What was she doing talking to Sophie?

"You're Sophie, right?" The brunette asked. Sophie blinked, because Biana remembered her name? "I'm Biana! Wanna be my partner for volleying practice?"

Sophie looked around. She didn't even realize when their gym teacher had given the order to be in pairs. She looked back at Biana in shock. Usually, Sophie was one of the people who was last to find their partner.

"Okay."

"Great!" She stepped away so they could start the exercise.

The ball went back and forth, and it was enjoyable. The ball hardly ever touched the ground. On Sophie's side, it was a little weak, but Biana didn't make any complaints about it, nor did she tease her. Occasionally, she even received praises.

"You're pretty good actually," Biana stated. "A little weak, but you have potential. Are you just scared?"

Sophie shrugged, before rushing to hit the ball again. It was sloppier than intended, but it made it to the general location it was supposed to, so it was fine.

The whistle was blown, signifying the end of the activity.

"That was fun! I'll see you around!"

Sophie only gave a nod as Biana moved to join one of the groups that would play in a game. This didn't seem too bad actually.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Just like Biana had said, Sophie would see her quite frequently. At first it was only in gym class. Biana came up to her a few more times and asked to be her partner. Then during science.

"Do you understand this part?" Biana asked as she leaned on the desk.

They were doing electricity. The sciences weren't really Sophie’s best subjects, but she was still able to understand them quite well. So Sophie nodded, and explained it the best she could. Apparently it worked, as Biana let out an "oh that makes sense", flashed her a smile and then went back to her desk.

It happened like that. The interactions weren't huge, they were small and comfortable. They were pleasant, actually. But there was just one thing.

"How come you've been talking to me so much recently?" She couldn't help but ask.

Biana froze for a moment, then continued walking. "I just felt like it, I guess. You looked like you wanted someone to talk to."

Sophie wasn't quite sure if she liked that answer. "That kinda sounds like pity."

"No! That's not what I meant! I mean, I know I'm pretty popular, but it's not like I was always like this. I get how it feels, wondering what it's like to have friends. And if I could be that person in someone's life, I think that's a good thing."

That made a little more sense, even if Sophie didn't understand it. "Don't you have your other friends?"

"It doesn't hurt to expand the friend circle, does it? I've wanted to invite you to my place for a while now, but it always seemed like you weren't quite comfortable."

Sophie hummed. "My elementary school experiences weren't exactly… pleasant."

Even thinking about it gave her the urge to pull out an eyelash. This time, she gave in to it.

"Oh. That's awful. I promise you I won't treat you so badly. My class is here, I'll see you later!"

Sophie smiled. "I'll think about it. Your offer."

"That's enough for me."

She went through the next class feeling surprisingly light. It must have been apparent because when she got home, Grady and Edaline noticed.

"I'm glad to see you smiling," Edaline told her. "Have a good day?"

She nodded. "I've made a friend."

Grady looked up from his laptop and smiled. "That's good, kiddo. What's their name?"

"Her name's Biana Vacker."

"A Vacker, huh," Grady murmured. "I knew a Vacker. I haven't heard from him in… close to fifteen years?"

"I think Juline told me that he moved out of the city around twelve years ago," Edaline told him.

"Did you know Biana's… biological father?" The words sounded weird in her mouth, but considering that Biana had once mentioned that she'd never met her father, and that her mom married another woman, it was probably the best term to use.

It was also odd hearing that Grady was familiar with someone. Not that he wasn't friendly- he was one of the more friendly people that Sophie knew. And being friendly helped when it came to working in the shop.

It felt like they were just being polite. They'd have small conversations with the customers, but that was it. They almost never left Havenfield. They were pretty distant. Sophie didn't mind it though, because sometimes, she needed a space where it would just be silent, and she could recharge.

"I don’t know if it's the same Vacker though. Does Biana have an older sister named Reina?"

Sophie thought about it for a moment. Biana was talkative, and Sophie didn't always pay attention, especially when it was more noise than she'd prefer. But she did remember an offhand comment about an older sister named Reina who had started high school. She nodded.

"Then yeah, I knew him. He wasn't the friendliest person I knew though. We worked together for a little bit."

"Oh."

"Tell me about Biana," Edaline said. "Is she a good friend?"

Sophie nodded again. "She's nice."

"That's good, it's always nice to have a friend."

Sophie noticed the solemn looks that Grady and Edaline shared, but she didn't think to question it.

"She wants to invite me to her house, but I don't know when yet. Would I be allowed to go?"

"Just text us when you ask," Edaline said. "We'll let you know if we need you here or not."

•~•~•~•~•~•

It was about a week later when Sophie decided that she's ready to go to Biana's. With each day that had passed by, she found it easier to hold a conversation. It was a nice feeling, and she wished that she'd been able to feel like this during elementary school. Maybe that was how most people felt.

She walked over to Biana's locker.

"Hi Biana," she began, her voice a little quieter than she'd like it to be.

Biana turned to her, her face brightening. "You wanna come over today?"

She nodded.

"You want me to invite some friends too? Or do you just want it to be the two of us?"

"The two of us, if that's okay."

"That's fine with me. Do your parents know?"

Sophie took out her phone and texted them- she was always more comfortable texting than calling. A minute later, she had a reply saying that she could go.

"They do now."

"Great!" she said, slamming the locker shut and then locking it. "Let me call maan first. But we could start walking home by the time."

Biana took out her phone and called Della, and there was another approval. "You wanna link arms?"

Sophie looked at Biana's arm, then back at hers. Before she could decide otherwise, she linked her arm. They continued walking until they reached a large house that seemed to glow. Not a mansion, but still large. If she saw it a year earlier, she'd feel intimidated, but Havenfield Flowers was huge too, so she was a little more used to it. There wasn't any car in the driveway, which meant that Biana's mom- Della wasn't home, and neither was her wife.

"Maan will be home soon, so will mom. Reina's probably inside, or she'll be here soon."

They went inside, and sure enough, Reina was in there. Sophie had never seen Reina before, but it was obvious that it was her. She had the same teal eyes as Biana, and the same brown hair. She was taller though, her hair shoulder length instead of waist length.

"Haven't seen you stare at me for that long," Biana whispered, jabbing her gently with an elbow. "We practically look the same."

"I wasn't staring," Sophie hissed. "That's just weird."

"I mean, I can't control when my aesthetic attraction strikes. People are pretty, I'm not gonna shame you for that."

Sophie thought about the times before. Because people were pretty. Not just boys, girls too. She found it hard to be subtle about it, and it wasn't the first time someone had noticed. Just the first time for this year. She wasn't quite sure if she wanted to directly come out yet, so instead she said something else.

"They are." Then she walked over to Reina. "You're Biana's sister, right? Hello, I'm Sophie."

Her voice was pretty calm, which was a success. It didn't even matter that she wasn't making eye contact at the moment.

"Hi Sophie," Reina greeted. "Nice to meet you."

She nodded back. She didn't know what to say next, but luckily, Biana saved her.

"Sophie, do you play video games? We can play Mario Kart."

She smiled. "I like Mario Kart."

"Be careful Biana," Reina said. "You might find someone that'll beat you."

"If you lose to her I'm making fun of you for the next month."

Sophie had a feeling that she walked into a sibling rivalry. She took one of the controllers, and they started playing. At first she had to adjust to the controls as it had been a while since she last played, so she started off losing to both of the sisters. Reina looked smug while Biana looked almost disappointed.

The next match though, Sophie started off doing okay, but she managed to stay right behind the two sisters. She smirked when she got a blue shell, and waited for the right timing. She shouted in triumph when it hit the both of them and she passed them both, before winning the race.

Both of them gaped at her.

"You- since when were you behind us?" Biana asked.

Reina looked at her smugly. "I told you to be careful."

"Shut up!"

Sophie smiled. If this was what she had in store for the future, she didn't mind it.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Living at a flower shop meant that Sophie learned a lot about flowers. Customers would come in, and ask for flowers to suit an occasion.

"An apology?" Edaline asked. "Purple hyacinth would be nice."

Then she would move and get some of the flowers and place them in a bouquet. "I wish you luck."

The customer would pay and thank her.

So when Grady went to get some dendrobium orchids, Sophie immediately realized.

The shop's closed, why would he need those?

They often symbolized respect and perfection. But there weren't any customers to sell them to. Edaline emerged from her room, wearing green, just like Grady was.

"Edaline?" Sophie asked. "What's going on?"

She felt like she had an idea, but she needed the remaining pieces to connect this puzzle.

"We're… planning to see someone," she explained, her voice sombre. "A… death anniversary. You don't have to come with us if you don't want to."

The words clicked. Dendrobium orchids were also used for mourning. The green they wore represented life. She vaguely remembered seeing a picture of a blonde-haired person, but she had never asked about it.

"I'll come with you, give me a few moments."

She went and took a shower, then changed into a green shirt and black pants. They left the shop and went into the car. It was silent.

"Can… can you tell me about them?" Sophie asked.

Grady and Edaline shared a look.

"She was our daughter. Her name was Jolie. She was a lot like you. Both kind and expressive, though she didn't have as much struggle showing it as you do."

"What happened to her?"

"She… she lost someone important to her. The pain was too much for her."

Oh . That explained so much. While they were aware that she would need space, they also did it because they needed it. If she reminded them of Jolie, then it had to have been painful.

"How… how long has it been?"

"This is the fifth year."

"Don't feel too bad about it," Grady told her. "I think I know what you're thinking. It… it is tough, but we wouldn't adopt you if we didn't want you. You're not causing us pain."

"...thank you, dad."

She looked at the car mirror to see his reaction, and she felt warmth when he smiled.

They arrived at the cemetery. It was quiet as they walked up to the grave.

Jolie Lucine Ruewen.

She was bright and always spread joy with her optimism. She was loved by many. Rest in peace.

1984-2006

She closed her eyes and listened as her parents mourned their first daughter. She never found herself to be that religious, but she sent her wishes, hoping that wherever Jolie was, she was content.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Sophie had stayed by Biana's side throughout the rest of middle school, and then went to high school, the same that Reina attended. Biana had decided to hang out with Sophie some more, and had distanced herself from some of her other friends.

"What about some of your other friends?" Sophie asked.

"I'm still keeping in touch with them, but I find that I don't feel like being around them as often. I just think it's better for my mental health, to not force myself to be around people I don't want to be around."

There was an implication that Biana actively wanted to be around her, but the thought alone was hard to process.

With that, Sophie found herself spending a lot of time with Biana and Reina. She didn't really have any other friends, but she was fine with the ones she had. Besides, she'd also recently met Dex- the nephew of Grady and Edaline.

As time passed by, she grew even closer to both Biana and Reina.

It wasn't love at first sight, like people said it was. There was the warmth, the smile, the joy. All of those things were present when she was with her friends. Biana stayed by her side and always made her feel more welcome. But there was something about Reina that ended up catching her attention.

"Sophie, you're staring again," Biana whispered.

"I'm not!" she hissed, because Reina was right there.

"I'd tell you to stare at me instead, considering we look alike, but I'm too aro for this."

Sophie blinked. "You're aro?"

Biana shrugged. "I didn't tell you?

"She's very much aromantic!" Reina chimed in from the other couch.

"That's cool!" And for some reason, she felt the need to blurt out, "I'm bi."

"I kinda figured with the whole 'people are pretty' incident," Biana said. "But thanks for telling me outright."

It was such a casual response that really made it easier for Sophie.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Sophie was able to admit that Reina did look good. But that was all there was to it. Or well, that had been it.

It happened during lunch. They usually ate somewhere that was relatively peaceful. Her earbuds had broken the other day, so she couldn't listen to music. On top of that, a crowd gathered in the hallway that they were sitting at.

She didn't know why they were there, but what she did know was that they were loud . Each sound felt like it was piercing through her ears. It was too loud, and she didn't have the music she needed to drown it out. She pulled her hoodie over her head, and put her hand over her ears. But it was still too loud.

She was pretty sure that she wasn't breathing, but she couldn't get herself to do it. There was too much, and she couldn't handle it. But then the world went quieter. There was only the soft melody of a piano.

Sophie opened her eyes to see concerned teal eyes. She always struggled to make eye contact, but in this case, she found herself drowning in those eyes. It took a moment to realize that it was Reina who'd been in front of her, and another to realize that she was wearing headphones.

Did Reina… put her headphones on me?

Reina didn't say anything, just looked at her, breathing visibly. Sophie realized that she should do the same. Each breath was easier to make, especially with the piano in the background.

"Th-thank you," she whispered.

"I'll always help you, okay? Next time, if you feel overwhelmed, just give me a signal, okay?"

All she could do was nod. Because it was that moment when she started to fall in love.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"I know I've joked about it before, but you have a crush on my sister, don't you." It wasn't a question.

Sophie turned to Biana in shock. Because she did, and was it that obvious? Also, Reina had gone to the washroom, and who knows when she'd be back. What if she accidentally found out?

"No," she lied. It was probably an awful lie, but it was a lie. "I don't."

Biana raised an eyebrow.

"I don't."

"I see."

•~•~•~•~•~•

It was a typical tradition to start walking to one of their houses, and then the other would go home. Biana had volleyball tryouts, so she wasn't able to walk with them.

"Hey Sophie, you work in a flower shop, right?" Reina asked. "Would I be allowed to join you, if I ask for permission?"

Neither of the Vacker siblings had asked to go to her house, but she knew that it wasn't because they didn't care, but because they did.

"Sure." She was a lot more familiar with Reina, she didn't find herself opposed to the idea. "Let me call my parents."

Some phone calls later, and they were on their way to Havenfield.

"Biana's going to be jealous," Reina remarked.

Sophie laughed. "Definitely."

•~•~•~•~•~•

When Reina walked around the shop to peer at the flowers, Sophie noticed.

Is she going to give them to someone?

Her suspicions were confirmed when Reina went to the counter and ordered some yellow roses.

Friendship. That's not so bad.

It wasn't, until she offered them to Sophie. She smiled, because Reina was giving her flowers, but they were purely platonic. She resisted the urge to scream. She took the flowers, because it was still sweet that Reina would buy them for her.

"I'm glad I met you," she said. "You're really great to be around."

Sophie really hoped that she wasn't blushing.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"Here," Sophie murmured, and thrusted her arms out.

She could feel her cheeks warm, which was a horrible idea, considering what she was doing.

"I felt like giving them to you… like how you gave me the roses a few days ago. They're alstroemerias."

Yellow ones, to be exact. They were another flower that meant friendship. Reina already made it clear what her feelings were.

But Reina's reaction confused her. She looked happy, but there was something off. But when Reina smiled and thanked her, she attributed it to her imagination.

•~•~•~•~•~•

"What's the gathering here for?" Biana asked.

"Okay, so," Reina looked nervous. "I'd like to announce that I'm a boy."

"Are you changing names too?" Sophie asked.

"Yeah, you can call me Fitzroy… or well, Fitz probably works better for me."

"Okay Fitz," Biana said.

"I'm glad you told us," Sophie said. "Are you gonna use he/him pronouns, or something else?"

"He/him."

•~•~•~•~•~•

When Sophie was old enough to start working at Havenfield Flowers, she gladly took the chance. To be honest, she didn't really know what she wanted to do with her life, she didn't have any big plans. She liked helping Grady and Edaline, and she wouldn't mind if she worked there for the rest of her life.

So because of that, she chose not to go to university. Biana continued with playing volleyball, while Fitz went into business, because he wasn't sure what he quite wanted to do either. Though he decided to also start working at Havenfield Flowers.

She was surprised when one day, Biana walked into the shop with Dex.

"Wait what?" Both Dex and Sophie asked, pointing to each other.

"You know each other?" Biana asked.

"Uh…"

"Dex, what a surprise!" Edaline greeted. "How's Juline doing?"

"We're cousins," Sophie explained. "Where'd you find Dex?"

"He goes to my uni."

It was all the explanation that they needed. The four of them took the chance and caught up with each other. Fitz looked a little lost, considering that he hadn't met Dex once.

It may have just been the four of them, but Sophie found herself feeling warm. She wouldn't ever want to give up the life that she had.

•~•~•~•~•~•

Translator note: Maan means mom in hindi (but anglicized)

Kotlc Taglist: @keefeinnit @impostertamsong @my-swan-song @subrosasteath

Wanna be added/removed from the taglist? Just let me know!

#sophie foster #fitz vacker #biana vacker #sokeefitz #(eventual)#kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #kotlc fanfiction #fanfiction #ravi writes a thing #these feelings inside (how deep do they go)#kotlc 2021 collab

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snarkwrites · 3 years

Text

01 | upside down, steve harrington ; stranger things

Notes:

Guess who fell head first into binging Stranger Things? Again? Yep. This bitch. And I kind of came up with this at some point during. I’ve been dancing around writing a Stranger Things fic for a while, but here I go I guess?

A few big cautions up front... There will be things that change/differ from the fic and the show. I’m gonna sort of loosely follow the timeline set forth. But I will be changing a few things here and there. I mean, if enough people enjoy this that I feel like writing more to it, idk yet... We shall see.

I swear to God, I’m going to update my CSI fics and my Riverdale one asap. This just kind of caught me by the nose and demanded to be written...

Summary:

She moves back to Hawkins and manages to turn his life completely upside down. In the best of ways.

But how will everything play out between them? Also, can they handle all the weirdness ahead? We shall see.

Warnings:

loose canon compliance at best, total deviation at worst - this is just an up front catch all because sometimes, things happen that I don’t particularly care for (the senseless death of Barb, anybody?) and if you’re one of those canon only people, this is here to warn you that this is not the fic for you. language, occasional gore, monsters / fantasy elements, teenage drama and shenanigans - Obviously, teenagers are going to do stuff. They’re at that point in their life where not every decision they make is the best one. So if you’d rather skip over this kind of thing (teen drinking, fighting, etc) then yeah.. you’ve been warned. Slow burn / angst / mutual pining / eventual filthy good ness - because lets be real.. we’re all wondering when we’re gonna drop the plot and get to the good stuff. When this chapter occurs, I will flair it with an M. In the meantime, if you’re not into slow burn or mutual pining, then you’re probably not going to care about this.

Other Parts

[ soundtrack ]

Other Stuff

[ faq - tag list doc ]

Tagging:

There’s nobody on my list yet but... If you wanna be tagged for this, tell me pls. It will make me overjoyed.

Throwing out a no pressure tag to @rampagewriting and @twistnet as well as @chasingeverybreakingwave just because. No pressure though bbies!

ONE

“Table six wants a burger and fries. Smothered for those fries, Jennie.” my nana’s voice shattered through my wandering thoughts. I closed the issue of Glamour I’d been reading and made my way out from behind the counter out in front, heading towards the dining area in the back.

“Marlena quit again, Nana?” I inquired, shaking my head. Marlena quits at least once a year. Turns up a few weeks later, tanned and broke, begging for her old job back and it’s been that way since my mom and I lived here still, when I was around 6.

“Girl, what have I told you about callin me Nana?” my grandmother asked, laughing softly as she nodded. “Yeah. Said she’s headin out to California this time. Thinks she’s gonna be the next Brooke Shields.”

“Broke Shields is more like it.” I mumbled, taking an apron from the hanger on the wall. My grandmother spoke up again, giving me a nudge and smirking at me while nodding across the diner. “He’s baaack.”

“Nana!” I muttered, raising a hand to my mouth, giggling a little despite my best efforts not to.

“I’m just sayin is all. That boy is not comin in here for my good cookin, Jennie Bird.” my grandma shook her head and I eyed the booth where a lone Steve Harrington sat.

It’s only the thousandth time since I moved back to Hawkins in May.

And my nana is right. He’s probably not coming here for the food.

I’d just grabbed two of the orders and sent Steve’s order back to our short order cook Brett, -or the order I’m assuming was his, he always gets the same thing down to a T when he stops in, when a hand reaches out, grabbing my wrist.

I nearly jumped right outta my skin until I realized that it was Nancy grabbing my wrist and Barb laughing about it. They were sitting at our usual little booth near the window, nursing milkshakes as they waited on my upcoming 30 minute break. Just like we’ve been doing two or three times a week since May.

Come to think of it, it’s around that time that Steve started coming in too. I shoved the thought out of my head right around the time that Nancy and Barb noticed him. And naturally, the question arose...

“What’s Steve Harrington doing in here?” Nancy asked, glancing up at me. I eyed his table and shrugged, suck popping a cotton candy flavored bubble as I told her, “Cher, your guess is as good as mine. He’s been comin in here since I moved back.”

Nancy wiggled her brows and laughed. Barb spoke up. “My mom wanted to know if you wanted to go to the lake with us this weekend? She knows your grandmother is going out of town.”

I smiled and nodded yes, zero hesitation. After Nancy confirmed that she was going too, we made plans to go into the department store in town tomorrow afternoon to pick up some swimsuits.

Nancy’s eyes settled on my boots and she let out a low and appreciative whistle. “Are those the same boots that were in the mall last time we went? I wanted those.”

I smiled, lifting my foot so Nancy could see my boots better. Then I whirled around so she could see the fact that I’d made my favorite pair of Levis into cutoffs and sewn white cherry print fabric over the back of one of the pockets.

“I love those. I wish my mom would let me cut off my jeans.” Nancy pouted. I shrugged. “Ginger said it was cheaper than buying shorts, so I went for it. I did two other pairs too.”

“I’m bringing my old jeans over tonight.” Barb spoke up. I smiled, nodding. “Yeah. I’ll do you right up, hon.”

“I wish I tanned like you. Do you just live outside, Jennie?” Barb asked, pouting a little. I shrugged it off, laughing. Taking a deep breath as I nodded towards Steve’s booth as I gazed at my friends after finally managing to tear my eyes off of Steve. “I best get over to table six. Then I have to go pick up the bohunk’s order, I reckon.”

“What’s a bohunk?” Nancy giggled.

“Same as a himbo, I reckon.” I answered, wrinkling my brows because I didn’t actually know myself. I just knew my nana Ginger often called her long-time live-in boyfriend, Hank, the same thing and I could tell by her tone that it was a loving thing.

I made my way over to Ethel and Earl’s table, setting them up with their food. “Y’all need anything else? Just let me know. Marlena quit on us again, so I’m the server tonight.”

“We’re all set, dear!” they assured me and I made my way over to the second of the tables whose orders I’d picked up.

The next table was Jim Hopper. My mom’s ex boyfriend. He chuckled and shook his head as I approached. “I see Ginger put you right to work.”

“I put me to work, sir. I’m saving money for a Trans Am I found for sale in Rollins.” I smirked as I said it, twisting a strand of hair around my fingertip.

“Oh really now.. Let me know when you get it. So I can warn the rest of the guys and the rest of town to keep a wide berth when you’re behind the wheel.”Hopper teased, chuckling. I pretended to pout, but got him set up with the food he’d ordered before finally making my way towards the back again.

I had to walk right past Steve’s booth in the process, naturally.

I did my best to keep my eyes trained towards the front of the dining area, but Steve cleared his throat just as I walked past.

“Is tonight the night you finally say yes?” Steve flashed a grin as he asked me the question. I wanted to melt, lucky for me, common sense prevailed once again.

“Steve..” I complained, shaking my head. Pretending to pout at him.

“Aw, c’mon.” Steve chided, giving me that charmer smirk as he gazed up at me. I bit my lip, eyes locked on his, lost in the depths of his eyes for a few seconds. My nana’s calling my name had me coming back to the moment and I sighed. “I gotta go get your food, cher.”

I hurried up to the front, ignoring my nana’s pointed stare and nod as she mouthed, “Well? What’d he say, huh?”

I gave a mysterious shrug and picked up the tray containing his food. Started my journey back towards his booth. On my way over, Nancy gave me a thumbs up and Barb mouthed at me in teasing, “ Aww, you’re totally blushing right now.” to which I stuck out my tongue and shook my head no.

I was all business as I sat his food in front of him. Consulting my notepad that had his order scrawled on it in my Nana’s loopy scrawl. “That’s a loaded burger and smothered fries with a chocolate shake.” suck popping another gum bubble as I spoke.

“Yeah.” Steve answered, locking eyes with me. My hand raised, trailing over the loopy cursive of my silver necklace. I toyed with the cursive that formed my name and he chuckled, dragging his fingers through his hair, nodding to it. “You still have it, I see. The necklace, I mean...”

“Why wouldn’t I? My best friend gave it to me, cher.” I gave him a soft smile. I couldn’t resist it because believe me, I tried. I’ve been trying to resist the guy since May, actually.

“Oh. So you did think about me when you left Hawkins...Interesting. I mean… you’re still wearing the necklace I got you for your birthday...” Steve mused quietly. His eyes were absolutely fixed on me. Studying me. And I felt this warmth spreading through my entire being. Like that first sliver of sunlight on a cloudy and cool day.

Then the calm. Be still my beating heart, the calm that took over when I dared to lock eyes with him as my own personal act of defiance. Popping another cotton candy flavored bubble as I did so. I bit my lip as I thought of the best way, read, least revealing way, to answer his question. This was venturing into very,very dangerous territory at present. Because if I said no I’d be lying and if I said yes, it would give him too much power. He’d know that maybe he was my first real crush back then. He’d know that maybe seeing him again after all this time had been like a burst of fresh air and somehow, felt as if maybe he’d taken all the air from me at the same time.

It was a huge risk. Huge.

“Maybe.” - it was the only word that would come presently. Blondie crooning Call Me from the old jukebox sitting at the back of the dining area shattered through the heavy lingering silence that followed immediately behind my answer. In a rush, I told him quietly, “I have other tables.”

“You’ve been on your feet all afternoon, little red. C’mon. Sit?” Steve nodded to the empty bench across from him.

I scoffed at him over my shoulder. Giving him a sweet but firm shake of the head no and smile. “As much as I’d love to sit, romeo. Sitting’s not what’s gonna put that sweet fire engine red Trans Am in my nana’s driveway by August.”

He pouted and called out as I walked away, “ I’m not giving up.”

This earned him giggles from the booth I usually filled with Nancy and Barb when I took my 30 minute break.

As I walked by them, Nancy teased out loud, “ Awww, look Barb! She’s blushing.”

“I am not.” I pretended to be offended by the suggestion. Mouthing to both of them as I fanned myself with some napkins in teasing and nodded in Steve’s direction, “Whew...He has gotten… Intense.”

“That’s Hawkin High’s big man on campus.” Barb informed me. I went to clock out for my break and came back with a Diet Pepsi, flopping across the booth across from then. Someone put 867-5309 on to play on the jukebox and I grumbled through closed lids, “I hate that fuckin song.”

Naturally, Barb and Nancy started to sing along. Loudly.

I pouted at them both as I rose to a sitting position.

Steve wandered over, flopping himself down in the empty spot next to me. “Ladies.”

“You’re not at Hagan’s party?” Barb asked, a brow raised.

“Yeah, why aren’t you at Tommy’s party?” Nancy asked, shooting me a covert teasing smile.

Steve shrugged. Took a long sip of his chocolate milkshake, slurping it through the straw noisily. I eyed it.

“I’d kill for a strawberry one right now.” I mused, gazing at the cup in his hand. He muttered quietly, “It’s not strawberry, but…” as he held it out.I eyed the styrofoam cup and him. Biting my lip.

Nancy and Barb were gazing at me intently. Teasing gleam in their eyes.

I sighed and reached out for it, taking a few sips. Holding it back out to him.

“I was there. Got bored. I like the scenery better here anyway.” Steve answered finally, shrugging.

“So you enjoy spending your Friday night in a diner packed with old people..” I muttered, locking eyes with him. Swallowing hard when I found him staring at me already.

He chuckled, shaking his head no. “I said I liked the scenery here, little red. Not the dining company. If you’d say yes and let me buy you a burger sometime…” he smiled at me as he went quiet.

I felt Nancy and Barb both fix their eyes on me.

“We’ll see.” I answered, shrugging mysteriously and smiling at him as I did so. I wanted to say yes so bad it was killing me, but given that I know the history of my grandmother and my mother, I was… Definitely erring on the side of caution.

Besides.. It makes things interesting when you play hard to get. I guess I figure that if Steve gets bored and moves on, then it’s better than agreeing, falling head over feet, making any number of bad life choices that seem to plague the women in my family and ultimately, winding up heart broken.

Call me a hopeless romantic. Overly cautious. I just want to wait until I know something is a sure thing before I dive in over my head. I want something that’s going to last a while. Not be this intense and scary whirlwind that starts off strong and ends just as fast as it began.

“Hey, were we all going to go for a swim later? Figured it was hot enough. Besides, Ginger and Hank are going to Rollins later. They won’t be back until 2. Or two days from now.” I mused, glancing from Nancy to Barb.

“Sleepover in the treehouse?” Barb suggested. Nancy nodded, giving me begging eyes. “C’mon, it’ll be fun. It’ll be like when we were little.”

“That’s actually not a bad idea!” I smiled, laughing.

After we all made our plans for the night, they left to go back into town and this left me with ten minutes in my break. Alone in a booth with Steve Harrington.

Hot Blooded came on the jukebox in back of the dining area and I grinned. Humming along with the song as I eyed the last of Steve’s fries. He chuckled, shoving them in front of me.

“You won’t let me buy you your own food… Yet you’ll eat mine.”

“Mhm.” I answered, dragging a french fry through gravy. Taking a bite thoughtfully. Groaning at the taste of the food because I realized just how hungry I actually was.

Steve chuckled, gazing at me. “Do I need to leave you two alone?”

I felt his arm go around the back of the booth. Brushing right against my shoulder. Normally, I’d politely move a little. But if I’m being totally honest here, I’m tired. So tired of fighting the way I feel. I managed to stop myself from resisting the urge to lean against his side though.

“That’s not so bad, is it?”

I sighed and gazed over at him. Smiling. “It’s not.”

From the kitchen, my nana called my name. Steve stood and I slipped out of the booth, making my way back. Clocking back in so I could finish waiting tables. By the time I’d done four more tables and was counting my tips for the night, Steve wasn’t sitting in the dining area anymore.

“You be careful getting home tonight, Jennie Bird.”

“Yes Nana.”

I didn’t have to look at her to know she was giving me a playful dirty look at what I’d called her. She sighed, the sound giving way to soft laughter. “Maybe get that handsome little beau of yours to give you a lift.”

“Nope. Absolutely not.”

“You are the most stubborn..” my grandmother teased gently, laughing as she shook her head.

I clocked out for the night, stepping out into the parking lot after counting down the drawer in the gas station area out front. Steve was standing outside, leaned against the cinderblock wall, his thumb hooked through his belt loop. Smoking a cigarette.

I glanced around to make sure my grandmother and her boyfriend weren’t looking or anything and I stopped beside him. Speaking up quietly. “Do you think you have another one of those?”

He chuckled, digging around in his pocket, producing a slightly crushed pack of Marlboro Reds. I took one and as I pressed it between my lips, he dug out a silver lighter and cupped his hands around the end, lighting my cigarette for me.

“You’re not afraid your grandmother’s gonna see?” Steve teased, grinning at me.

I laughed, shrugging as I exhaled, a plume of smoke creeping upwards into the sunset. “It’s more tame than her special brownies. I know for a fact it’s a thousand times tamer than anything my mom did at my age. I just don’t openly do it all the time around her because it’s a respect thing.”

“Ah. I get it, I think.” he nodded.

We stood there quietly. Staring up at the sky as the sun dipped lower. I really didn’t want to walk away, but one of us had to. I smiled, nodding towards the road. “I should probably get going.”

“I can drive you.” Steve offered.

“I’m fine. It’s only like a mile up the road.” I answered, swallowing hard. Dangerously close to caving, yet again. It’s getting so hard not to cave lately where he’s concerned and that kind of makes me panic just a little, truth be told.

“Yeah, but it’s getting late. And your feet have to be killing you by now.” he nodded to my boots. I shrugged, flashing him a smirk. “You’re a charmer, Steve.” I muttered as I rose up on my toes, fluffing his hair before stepping away, then turning to walk across the gravel parking lot and towards the road.

His BMW slowed to a stop beside me and he rolled down the window just as I started to walk towards my grandmother’s house. “C’mon.”

I eyed the car.

Then glanced at the road stretched out ahead. My feet were throbbing in these stupid boots because they weren’t broken in completely. I dragged my fingers through my hair, mulling it over.

“Take me straight home?”

“Anything you want, Jennie.” Steve promised, smiling at me. “Scouts honor.”

“You are a lot of things… Somehow I doubt boy scout was one of them, you charmer. Okay, fine.” I gave in, going around to the passenger side of the car and getting in.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?” he teased gently. I stuck out my tongue at him and reached for the dial on his radio until I found something other than his preferred usual pop station. He chuckled to himself, reaching out to lower the volume. “I missed you.”

“Aw, be still my beating heart.” I pretended to swoon. But something about the look in his eyes had me feeling like all the air escaped my lungs. Giddy. Lightheaded. And yet, underneath it all, that sense of calm.

The rest of the drive to my grandmother’s house was quiet. The air between us filled with this heavy and almost electric tension. Like I was waiting on something to happen, I just didn’t know what.

He pulled to a stop behind Hank’s beat down old Chevrolet truck and I went to open the door on the passenger side. I was about to get out, when he stopped me. “Same time Thursday?”

I smiled, nodding at him as I shut the door to his BMW and started towards my front door on very shaky legs. Once I was inside, I pulled off my boots and flopped down on the sofa, letting out several long and shaky breaths.

“Heaven help me. That guy is… Something.” I drawled. Resting until I heard Barb and Nancy knocking at my grandmother’s door. I got up to let them in and we went upstairs to find towels to take down to the river with us.

Then we set off, walking through the woods. Laughter and conversation echoing in the night around us. Diving into the cold water with ear splitting shrieks. Splashing at each other noisily.

We flopped onto our towels on the bank, gazing up at the stars as they started to come out.

“I can’t believe summer’s almost over.” Barb lamented, shaking her head. “It seriously feels like school just ended.”

“I don’t want to go back to school yet. Yuck.” Nancy agreed, shaking her head. “I mean there’s another month and a half but it’s flying by too fast.”

“At least we got a few classes with each other. I’m dreading starting at a new school. I mean it’s not new, but still..” I sat up, facing the two of them.

“It won’t be that bad. You’ve got us.” Barb pointed out and I smiled, nodding. “Yeah, you’re right. It won’t be that bad.” I echoed her statement.

“Hey, Jennie?”

“Yeah, Nan?”

“Why won’t you just give in to Steve. It’s not exactly a secret you like him.” Nancy eyed me expectantly.

I mulled it over, shrugging. “Guess it’s just the fear I have that I’ll give in and then everything will go wrong and I’ll wind up losing my friend too.”

The truth was… so much more complex than that. And I couldn’t even begin to explain it to myself, let alone my two best friends.

“I will say this much though.” I started, going quiet for a second or two and taking a deep breath, speaking up again after, “It’s getting harder to fight it off. I mean when I moved back here and we ran into each other again, that old crush came back and it came back ten-fold. Enough about my weird hangups.. Is there some reason you’re not finally going for it with Jonathan?” I eyed Nancy expectantly.

“Every time I try it’s like my brain freezes? I don’t know, okay?” she laughed, shaking her head about it. Barb smirked. “Both of you are cowards.”

“Excuse… Says the girl who almost threw up because Logan, the guy she likes, winked at her on the bus back from an away game?” Nancy teased and Barb scowled at her, sticking out her tongue. “I’ll have you know, ha freaking ha, Logan is actually taking me to a movie on Friday.”

“Oh?” Nancy eyed her, wiggling her brows.

“Oh my god, details.” I spoke up, tapping my foot as I gave her an expectant look. Barb launched into the whole thing and I smiled softly, content to listen. Catching up on what I’d missed in being gone so long.

“Y’all. We need to get back down to my nana’s. It’s getting dark thirty.” I stood, reaching down to grab hold of Barb’s hand, pulling her off the bank of the river. Barb pulled Nancy up and the three of us went running through the wood and back towards my grandmother’s house.

Once we got there, we ordered pizza and went out to the old treehouse we used to play in out back to set up for the night.

And at one point, we wound up playing Truth or Dare.

And naturally, the first dare I was given was to say yes if Steve Harrington asked me out again…

#steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington imagines #steve harrington fic #my writing ; steve harrington #my fanfiction ; steve harrington #my fics ; steve harrington #// y'all. I have.. huge plans for this #i made a whole ass character sheet for Jennie here.

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luhanvirus · 3 years

Text

Butterfly Effect

In which a 29-year-old gay LXC married his 26-year-old family friend JC (who happens to be a trans man) out of convenience so that both of their traditional families would leave them alone and let them live their lives, without thinking that he will find love in this marriage.

N/A: Xicheng AU based on that Redditor who shared his touching AF love story.

For the #CultivaTober2020, another story that no one asked me. Incomplete for the lack of time.

Day 23: Butterfly

A lot of people like to think that love comes before marriage, oftentimes it doesn't always work out that way.

Sometimes people get married because of different pressures and expectations put on them by society and their families, but that doesn't mean you can't find love in this kind of situation.

Lan Xichen didn’t expected falling in love with his husband.

They didn’t marry for love, actually they married to make a giant scam on their families.

It maybe be weird, but Lan Xichen was a gay man that came from a wealthy and traditional Chinese family where he managed the business extension abroad.

And as the current heir of the company after his father’s death, the elders didn’t liked when he came up openly about his homosexuality and they didn’t accept it. No matter how many times Xichen said them that he wouldn’t marry a man, they still wanted him very married to a lady from a good and influential family.

One day Xichen got tired and said them clearly that he will just stay single, so they should stay out of his business.

That kind of worked for four years, until the last year when uncle Lan Qiren trapped him in a visit with a this “girl” that was the single “daughter” of one of their business allies and left them alone in a room.

Xichen looked at her, she was pretty indeed. His posture emitted an air of confidence and his almond gray eyes resembled storm clouds, like lighting bolts would appear in any moment to attack, her short black hair was pulled into a bun with a purple ribbon and she wore a big violet hoodie that covered all her body curves.

It was so obvious that neither of them wanted to be here.

Anyways, Xichen didn’t expected that this person would misunderstand the whole situation:

“Listen to me, because I’m not going to repeat myself. I’m a trans male and I’m not out of my family and I DON’T WANT to get married to you”, blunted out the person. “You don’t want to be married with me because I am a MAN, so just leave it!”

Lan Xichen blinked, really shocked.

Did she.... Did he really thought that I set up the visit?

“I don’t even like women, what do you mean?” Xichen babbled, confused at least.

The boy looked at him, suspicious.

“What did you said?”

Xichen massaged the left side of his forehead, without knowing if the should laugh or cry at the turn of the events. “Well, I’m gay.”

When he said it, he didn’t wanted to be funny.

He was serious.

“Oh my god,” mumbled the boy before to start laughing loudly. “My mom will die if she knows!”

At least one of them was having a good time, finding the whole thing hilarious.

Xichen didn’t noticed when he started to laugh too.

Well, could you blame him? This was so ridiculous. Yet, they ended being friends after that unfortunate turn of the events. They even exchanged numbers before to part away.

. 　 · ✦

“I knew it was her, she’s perfect. Well mannered and ...”

Uncle Qiren was delighted at the idea that Xichen was cured from homosexuality, the poor man still has hopes that he would change his mind and will fall in love with the little daughter of Jiang Fengmian haha.

If you only know, uncle. Thought Xichen, having a good time that night.

Unlike Wangji who seemed worried, he was his only support in those kinda family meetings.

“Brother.”

Xichen smiled at his brother, relieved that everything ended in good terms even if it was a disaster. “Don’t worry, Wangji. I know what I’m doing.”

He couldn’t be more wrong.

Wangji looked at him, unconvinced. “If you say so.”

However, Xichen didn’t overthink it in the moment because Jiang Wanyin was someone really nice to talk by the way, so he keep talking with him.

And they talked a lot through nine weeks.

What made both families to get excited at the match, they never got this far with any other candidates.

So they kept pushing them about marriage.

Xichen didn’t knew why, but one day they just accepted to marry each other. He remember that both were "like yeah, screw it" and that’s how they got quickly married in Yunmeng a summer day of August to get their families off of their backs.

Wanyin moved at Gusu with him and both pulled a giant scam on their families and got away with it.

No matter how you see it, it was a win-win situation. Wanyin lived his own life and take the guest room for himself while Xichen didn’t get more cutting remarks about being gay because he has a “wife” now.

Life was easygoing, so he let Wanyin cut his hair short and stop dressing feminine as his family forced him.

It was a little gesture, but that small change resulted in something unexpected.

. 　 · ✦

The things had been so smooth sailing between them that they even adopted a dog, Xichen was having a good time when he come to his house now that he has a roommate and a pet.

It felt more like a home than the place where he’s slept.

He didn’t noticed before, but his house didn’t felt like a home before he married.

Wanyin resume his university studies and made new friends, he was so comfortable and happy that he started to cooking dinner for both of them recently. Sometimes Xichen couldn’t eat with him because he returned at home passed by midnight, but he tried to return early at home to share at least a couple of dinners together at week.

That night Xichen got a little late, but Wanyin stayed with him in the dinning room. Looking him eat everything and even repeating a dish.

“Were you hungry, huh?”

Xichen was used to not talk when he eat because he was educated like that, but he found rude to not reply his husband at the same time. So he did an exception that night.

After all, Wanyin cooked that delicious food for him and waited for him.

“I didn’t have lunch today.”

Wanyin looked at him, with a bothered frown in his eyebrows. It reminded Xichen the first time that they share a dinner in home and he couldn’t stand the spicy food that Wanyin cooked.

That time he thought he would die, but he survived to Wanyin spicy food.

Now he’s getting to used to piquant food.

“I can cook your lunch.”

“You don’t have to do it, Wanyin.”

“What kind of husband am I if I left my spouse starving?” Wanyin teased him, smirking.

. 　 · ✦

Next morning Xichen didn’t expected that Wanyin would fulfill his word and made a lunch for him, even his coworkers seemed surprised to see him eating in his office instead to skipping the lunch when he had important meetings.

That day he had a meeting with Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao, so they planned to invite him to eat a hotpot without knowing that Xichen would refuse.

When they saw why he refused, they stayed to accompany him.

It seems that it was a friendship duty annoy at your recently married friends.

“Now Xichen-ge gots lovely lunchs made by his wife, I’m jealous”, said Jin Guangyao as he looked for food delivery on his telephone for him and Mingjue, they didn’t want to leave his friend alone if they could tease him.

Mingjue nudged at Xichen, grinning “As your childhood friend, I demand to be the godfather of your first child.”

“That’s unfair, Da-ge! Let Xichen-ge chose the godfather!!”

Xichen smiles nervously at his friends, feeling a cold sweet in this forehead.

“We are not having kids.”

Mingjue raised an eye brown, confused. “Why not?”

Xichen felt conflicted.

Well, these were his friends and he should trust them, right? He wasn’t ashamed of his husband, actually he felt proud that he could be himself since they met.

“Uhm, how I could say this? My “wife” is a trans male, so...”

“Oh.”

“It’s complicated, we got it.” Ends the conversation Jin Guangyao, putting a hand in Mingjue’s mouth.

. 　 · ✦

Months passed fast and it was December when Xichen realized that his husband started to getting closer to him.

Not like they were strangers before, but something changed after Christmas.

Wanyin started to watch tv with him in the sofa when Xichen was in home, eating with him every time they can, buying him stuff and even texting him more frequently, sending photos of him and Huan Huan when he go to walk their puppy. He even started staying in Xichen’s room to facetime his mom because she always complained about how he always facetimed alone so he came to Xichen bed to get him to say hi.

And after a while, Wanyin got tired to get out of Xichen’s bed to go back to his own to sleep, so he moved to Xichen room permanently.

Before Xichen knew, they escalated to cuddling awaken and sleeping.

Contrary to Xichen could think, it wasn’t that weird.

Actually it felt heartwarming to hold his tiny husband on his arms, specially when their puppy dog was in the middle of them. Enjoying the warm between his owners.

It made him feel something, but he wasn’t sure what.

. 　 · ✦

“When are you two going to give us a grandchild?” Wanyin’s mother asked them one day via facetime.

Wanyin went all red, screaming. “Mom!”

It was obvious that he didn’t wanted to have this conversation with his mother.

Xichen was beside him in the bed, working on his laptop before to speak in the name of the two. “We want to enjoy our youth first. So no kids for now.”

Hoping that Wanyin wouldn’t mind with his idea.

They didn’t talked about children, yet.

His mother-in-law sounded a bit beaten after that, but she insisted on encourage Wanyin to make his own family as if their dog wasn’t their son already.

When Wanyin cut the call, Xichen finished his work so he put the computer aside.

“Sorry, Xichen.”

“Why? It’s not your fault that your mother want another grandchild.”

Wanyin looked at him before sprawled out on top of him, doing random things and Xichen was unsure what it means. “Then, how many children do you want?”

He asked so suddenly that got Xichen out of guard.

“What?”

“I’m joking, do you want children anyways?”

He was always like that since they got close to each other last year, always joking around him.

Sometimes Xichen didn’t know if he was joking or being serious.

“I don’t know, I never thought about having kids.” Xichen blurt out of his mind, smiling at the thought that they have this level of communication to talk about things like this. “What about you?”

“We have Huan Huan, enough for me.”

“I don’t think your mother

“Well, Huan Huan would be the only grandson that I’m going to give her.”

. 　 · ✦

They almost kissed twice, one time when they were cuddling in the bed and the other one when Wanyin started sitting on Xichen’s lap, nuzzling him and stuff like that.

Their faces were so close that Xichen thought they were going to kiss.

It was so close that he could feel his hot breath, but then Wanyin went all red and jumped ship at the last minute. Xichen felt so disappointed that they didn't kissed already, but he thought that he understand why Wanyin might not kiss him.

He must be thinking that he doesn't want this or something like that.

Contrary to what people could think about his husband, Wanyin had the tendency to overthink things.

He still was working on this, but Xichen couldn’t handle with the self-isolation and the romantic? tension in the house every time he saw Wanyin flustering and getting shy around him.

It was odd after met the confident and a little arrogant side of his husband, so this new side made him feel things that he didn’t know he could feel for Wanyin.

Xichen even feel butterflies in the stomach every time they get close for any reason.

He just wants to kiss Wanyin so badly that he felt embarrassed.

He was so screwed.

. 　 · ✦

One day, Xichen couldn’t stand the situation anymore. He was still a little unsure about his own feelings so he talked long and tended with his friends at the bar about how he wants to take Wanyin on dates and kiss him and let him speak as much as he wants because Wanyin likes to talk about the things that he loves and how much he loves their dog, he could talk about Huan Huan all day and Xichen wouldn't mind, he loves their puppy too.

In the end, he ended asking advice to asking his husband out.

“I want him be happy and I want myself be happy. So how can I ask my literal husband of nine months to be in an actual relationship with me?”

"Talk to him. Tell him what you’re feeling. Ask if he feels the same way," said Mingjue.

“You made it sound that simple, Da-ge.”

"I think you should let him know that you’re open to having a more intimate relationship. It seems he’s feeling something too since he’s cuddling you,” added Jin Guangyao.

“I don’t know what to do.”

Mingjue take a a big sip of wine before to talk again. “Just close your eyes and jump, man. You got this."

#MXTXLATAM #CultivaTober2020 #MoDaoZuShi #Mo Dao Zu Shi #GrandmasterOfDemonicCultivation #Xicheng #Jiang Cheng #Jiang Wanyin #Zewu-Jun #Zewu jun #Lan Xichen #Lan Huan #trans male character #trans Jiang Cheng #October Challenge 2020 #idk what I'm doing #Nie Mingjue #Jin Guangyao #Meng Yao

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urmomsstuntdouble · 3 years

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If ur still doing the 100 followers thing, well I challenge YOU with deciphering Lithuania.

ok anon thank you so much for asking this question because i have in fact recently fallen in love with lithuania, because they are such an interesting character! (also hhhh im so sorry for how late this is)

Gender

As you may have noticed, I usually use they/them pronouns to refer to Lithuania. I hc them as being nonbinary and using he/they pronouns, though I personally prefer to use they rather than he in that case because. Idk what pronouns you use. But in my experience it’s really hard to get people to call you ‘they’ when you go by ‘he/they’ or ‘she/they’ or smth like that. Though I don't imagine any of the nations are very attached to their “birth gender” (are nations born???), lithuania is one of those who is a bit less attached. They’re just sort of there, in terms of gender. In my headcanons i also think this has something to do with religion, as lithuania was one of the last european countries to convert to Christianity- just because so much of gender as we know it comes from christianity and what people in the 16th and 17th centuries considered a ‘good’ christian. Thats not to say that there are no gender roles in other religions, but that the way westerners typically conceptualize gender has quite a lot to do with the religious conflicts occurring within christianity. Like you can trace the ideas behind the nuclear family archetype back to the protestant reformation. Additionally, I hc them as being Jewish, which further distances them from the western christian gender roles (though that’s not why i hc them as jewish! More on that later). Finally, i just like myself some trans/nb characters. There’s so few popular trans hcs and that makes me kinda sad ya know? Welcome to the trans agenda its just me projecting onto all my faves

Mental Health

Okay, so, i think it’s pretty well known that lithuania’s mental health is wack. They’re often characterised as being a very anxious person, but i think the ways in which they’re anxious is super interesting. For one, they are extremely conflict averse and like to avoid it by being a sort of people pleaser. It’s a sort of defense mechanism, because nobody can hate you if you do whatever they say. Like, if you let people be shitty to you, they won’t hate you for your personality. This is clearly flawed logic because then people are still going to be shitty to you, but. It makes sense to liet. In their mind, it’s okay to let people hurt if your reason is sound enough- Because if they’re not super emotionally engaged in a relationship that’s unhealthy for them, then they can’t get hurt, right? Of course, they can. A good example of this is their relationship with Russia. I think tolvydas sees compliance as necessary there, in order to avoid being hurt. The thing is…compliance is also hurting them, even if they see it as ‘worth it.’ To them, behaving in a submissive way is a survival tactic. A really bad one, but a survival tactic nonetheless.

This also plays into their tendency to be self-martyring. I think Tolvydas is very good at fighting, and all around a really awesome warrior (strong aragorn energy), which makes them think that they need to be the one to save everyone. Hero complex, sort of. This, coupled with their almost maternal care for Latvia and Estonia, makes them feel like they have a sort of weight-of-the-world on their shoulders. Though Estonia and Latvia do look up to them a lot, Tolvydas can sometimes fail to realise that they are also their own people and can fight their own battles. He feels a sort of obligation to protect them due to their shared culture and languages as The Baltic Trio, though it doesn’t go much further than a sense of obligation. They spent most of their youth fighting, to the extent that that’s most of what Tolvydas personally knows as ‘life,’ but they never actually got to know the other two Baltics very well until the modern day. They have to protect, have to be a caregiver, but they don’t actually know super well the things they’re trying to protect. It’s both a sense of obligation to protect as well as the sense that this is all they’re good at and as long as they’re fighting for a morally just cause, that’ll do.

I think something that would expose this flaw would be when they were first taken over by the Russian Empire in the 1790s, they were pretty miserable about a lot of things- Like the loss of all their territory and the sudden statelessness of their people- but a big one would’ve been the loss of Poland. This isn’t meant to be super shippy, but you know. They were united into one kingdom, and they had been for centuries, so i don’t imagine it was an easy separation. Though this is more up for debate where real people are concerned, these characters were essentially a big part of each other, ya know? Regardless of how much Lithuania actually likes Poland, they’re still a part of each other and that separation will undoubtedly be painful. Anyway, all that is to say that this separation was at the forefront of their mind during the beginning of the 19th century, and they let it sort of prevent them from taking care of the other Baltics. The issue with that is that they still considered themself to be protecting Estonia and Latvia, even though, in reality, nobody was. Also in reality, Lithuania was making themself out to be the worst off, and were generally sort of annoying to be around at this point in time. Their whole woe-is-me attitude wasn’t fun, and they were hypocritical in that they saw themself as being a better friend than they actually were. They still see themself as being a great friend, and though it’s improved in recent years, they’re still sort of. Flighty, i guess, where friendship is concerned. There was also a lot of annoyance by the other baltics about them being so self-martyring- Tolvydas was Ivan’s favorite, after all (that’s not necessarily a good thing, but. He was softer on them in certain ways). Anyway, I guess the big takeaway of this paragraph is that Liet often lets their self perception cloud the way they act in relationships.

Much of the stuff I’ve mentioned so far is a result of them having quite a lot of PTSD. I think Lithuania’s character tends to be explored through a few common lenses, those being the medieval vibes of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth and through being oppressed by the Russian Empire/Soviet Union. Not to say that there’s not a lot of other content about them, but this is what I see most often. I think that all the nations have some form of PTSD, but with Lithuania it’s very pronounced, and it’s made clear that a lot of their tendencies are a result of past trauma- Like the need to take care of others. This is likely originating with their childhood, as they grew up in a very violent environment where their survival was never guaranteed (survivor’s guilt much?) and violence was just the way of things. This is where the need to protect comes from. There used to be several more Baltic nations, though you could argue that now there’s only two- Lithuania and Latvia, as Estonia does not speak a Baltic language and would really like to be considered Nordic.

Finally, Lithuania is also an interesting character where forgiveness is concerned. I think their sense of morality is very black and white, so some people (Feliks) will be easily forgiven where others (Ivan) will not. In reality, I think it would definitely be valid for Tolvydas to hate both of them, yet they don't- Because they decided that Feliks was a friend and Ivan was not. Both Feliks and Ivan care very deeply about them, but neither treats Tolvydas in a very good way. Of course, I’m aware that the situation in the Russian Empire/USSR and the Commonwealth were very different, but I’m talking about these three dudes and their relationships with each other beyond the lens of politics. Because Feliks tried to be their friend in a way that didn’t hurt them tremendously, and because. Look at them, Feliks isn’t 5’4 and can’t hurt you. They’re not an intimidating person and they’re not incredibly powerful like Ivan is. Though that’s not all of it- Feliks’ feelings for Tolvydas are definitely a purer, more selfless type of love than what Ivan feels for them- it makes it harder for Tolvydas to hold a grudge against them. Whereas for Ivan, their relationship was about control. He needed to control them as a way of expressing how he felt about them. He represents a lot of what Tolvydas fought against in their youth, so of course they hate him. Of course, I don’t think they like holding grudges. They want to be able to care for everyone, because they know that everyone deserves to be treated well and cared for and all that. You can't exactly do that if you hold a grudge against someone, so it actually kind of sucks for them when they see someone they hate suffering. It’s a sort of conflict of interest- The caregiving instincts vs the hatred for this person- and they often don’t know what to do in that situation. Usually they wind up helping but not happy about it. They just don’t want to see others suffer, despite the fact that they dislike this person (Russia is of course the exception. They don’t want to help him at all anymore).

Relationship with family

So, this is a bit of an interesting topic. I think the Baltics consider themselves family just because of what they’ve been through together, but they’re not actually blood related. Though they share similar cultures, and languages, they’re just not related. Maybe Lithuania and Latvia are cousins, but yeah. Lithuania sees themself as the head of their little family, as they have the oldest surviving European culture and language. They sometimes get in their head about that, and can act like both a mom friend and a mom who is bad at mom-ing. It’s a sort of self appointed thing, and can be really annoying to the other two. They don’t pay the utmost attention to their fellow Baltics, and are more concerned with physical well being than emotional well being, so, despite establishing themself as a caretaker, do not wind up actually caring for the other Baltics in the ways they need to be cared for.

Fighting style

So, as I’ve mentioned, Lithuania is a talented fighter. They go hard as shit, and can very much kick your ass. I think they prefer to be very technical about how they fight, with something boring like a broadsword as their weapon of choice, but are not afraid to fight dirty. Like rip off an ear with their teeth kind of playing dirty. I think they take fighting very seriously. Though Lithuania as we know it is only about 800 years old, I think Tolvydas is much older. The definition of a nation (a large body of people united by common descent, history, culture, or language, inhabiting a particular country or territory, according to the oxford dictionary) does not require there to be a central governing body, so I think it’s quite possible for Lithuania to be well over 2000. Anyway, all that is to say that they didn’t grow up in medieval times, so by the time they’re like. Achieving dominance in Eastern Europe, they’re already very old and well versed in many different styles of fighting. In the modern day, I think they’ve learned more different fighting styles from other parts of the world, but will always fall back on the way they learned how to fight in ancient times.

Religion

So as I mentioned earlier, Lithuania is Jewish in my headcanons (orthodox, specifically. I think they're kinda traditional). I have a couple reasons for this- There has been a historical presence of Ashkenazi Jews in Lithuania, going back to the 13th or 14th century, and this is due to certain legal protections granted to Jewish people under pre-Commonwealth law. They were legally on similar footing to the average free people of Lithuania, and were able to create a slightly more prosperous community than Jews in other areas of Europe. This was also affected by the Black Plague of the 1340s. Orthodox Jews tend to put a high value on cleanliness, and often have two sinks in their houses (my childhood home, for example, had two sinks, and i lived in a majority jewish area). They also happened to be concentrated in Eastern Europe, due to the protections. Because of this, Eastern European Jews have some of the highest sruvival rates for the Black Plague and actually brought up the survival rates of the region as a whole- Though this also resulted in some intense antisemitism, as many Christians blamed Jewish people for the plague even happening, due to their higher survival rates. Despite various expulsions and the loss of legal rights, the Jewish population remained relatively steady up until world war 2. Jewish people made up about 10% of the total population of Lithuania in 1941, and 45% of the total population of Vilnius. (To put this in perspective, the entire world population is only about 0.2% Jewish). Anyway, all this is to say that it’s not out of the question for Lithuania to be Jewish.

Extras/Fun stuff

Lithuania loves reading, especially the fantasy/fairy tale genre. It makes them nostalgic without the trauma of reading historical fiction.

They’re also very musically gifted, and can play the piano, bass, ukelele, and flute.

They wear docs.

They love hot chocolate.

They remind me of both Aragorn from lotr and Hozier. They’re such a sweet lad.

Bicon who has like 5 people thirsting for them at a given moment but is either oblivious or not looking for a relationship right now.

Here are my fics with lithuania as a main character!

My previous character analyses of lithuania (sorry they’re mostly in shipping contexts, rip) and another good analysis someone else did

My playlist for them

and i think thats it! of course i could always talk more about them, but those are my thoughts for now! thank you so much for the ask, i hope i was able to meet your challenge!

writing requests

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