#me: fucking hate these songs. fucking hell. what a terrible order of songs. ugh. i need something new

[fictional-worlds-are-exquisite]

idk why i even bother keeping old playlists i’m not gonna listen to them ever again once i get sick of them like 5 years can go by and if you play me the same songs in a row i will willingly jump out a window to escape because i still cannot stand that order of songs anymore

it doesn’t help that i get sick of them after like. a month. sometimes less if i listen more regularly. and then none of the songs are something i want to hear anymore. maybe i should just stop making playlists altogether

#wow thats a cool song #[listens to it 200 times in a week] #wow i never want to hear that song ever again #wow i've made a playlist of all my favourite songs <3 #[listens to it semi regularly for a month] #me: fucking hate these songs. fucking hell. what a terrible order of songs. ugh. i need something new #also me: i do not want to listen to new music i just want to listen to songs i already know #i remember thinking uhhh glad you came by the wanted (i think) was like. the shit when i was 13. listened to it so much #still don't want to fucking hear it now. it's been almost 8 years but fuck off. #it's possible i'll tolerate it for ONE listen but if i hear it again in the next year i'll lose it #why am i like this

[venenatd]

just friends; eren jaegar x reader

summary: you and eren are best pals and have both recently be dumped. so, a plan to get over your exes is needed! what’s better than going out on the town trying to find quick fucks >:) also eren is a smug bastard but kinda has a heart of gold??

content: smut / nsfw 18+. minors dni. (choking, unprotected sex, creampie drinking, drunk sex, possessiveness ig? dirty talk, both of them want to be dominant tbh. slight size kink, oral both m and f receiving. female bodied reader) 

i am new to this pls let me know if i should add anything!!

word count: 5.8k words of unedited content 

a/n: uh so i never thought i’d be back on my tumblr bullshit at 23 but hey after years without the app i’m back. i needed to get out the h-word and this is what happened. enjoy and i’m sorry if it’s terrible lmao

“You look different” 

Frowning at the man waiting ever so patiently for you on the sofa, you look a little defeated. “Is that meant to be a compliment, Eren?”. He sighed, raising his eyebrows at you. To be fair, maybe you did. Wearing a figure hugging black dress, that definitely just hid your ass cheeks, hair styled and sprayed in place, dark lipstick and makeup on your face. Usually Eren would have seen you in sweats, always running a little late for class, snack in hand. 

“Different isn’t bad,” he offered, checking the watch that lay on his wrist, “are we ever going to get to the bar? Your plan will fall through if you’re not careful.”

Ah, the plan. Both you and Eren were newly single. In your final year at university, having managed to keep each relationship going until almost the end. Ironic. Weren’t most meant to fail in the first year? But alas, your partners had decided it was the end within a couple of weeks each other, and as you and Eren had been close since you met on orientation day, you each took to the other for comfort. You had done the crying first, going to him the minute your call with the ex had ended. Leaving wet splotches on his shirt, he had calmed you, only for you to do the same to him later. Now the crying was done, it was time to move on, and what better advice to follow than getting under someone to get over another?

“I just need to look hot enough for a guy to fuck me.”

“What a romantic you are.”

“Shut up Er-”

Eren shifted from the couch, interrupting your usual sass, “and what about me, y/n? Do I look beautiful?”. He threw in a wink with his comment, his aura of cockiness always radiating. You rolled your eyes, before studying his figure. His dark hair half pulled back into a bun, the rest draping his neck and onto a deep emerald green silk shirt, with the top few buttons loose, tucked into dark pants. A ring on each hand, fingers with chipping black nail polish, and to top it off, a thin chain on his neck. You hated to admit it and add to his smug demeanour but... the man did look good. 

“Gorgeous as always Eren,” you said sarcastically, even if it was truthful, “I’m sure there will be a queue of women who are wanting to jump on you.”

“Not if they aren’t all taken already,” he taps at his watch. Whilst the two of you had already been drinking as he waited for you to get ready, it was definitely on the later side.

“Order the uber, and we can go.”

Walking over to him and adding shoes to your outfit, you present yourself before him, a cute little smile playing on your lips. He’s staring down at his phone, quickly going through the motions for the ride. Finally, he looks up to catch your eyes. His jade pupils flick down slightly, and he hopes you miss that they land at the cleavage you’re sporting in your current get up. He flicks your nose, earning a scowl from you and a smile from him.

“You look perfect”

The club is far fuller than you both expected, dance floor and tables taken up and crowded round. Luckily, you had managed to secure you and Eren a pair of seats at the bar, and you were currently on your third..? Fourth drink of the evening. Green eyes watch your lips carefully, as you finish the vodka and lemonade. 

“So, anyone take your fancy?” he prompts, looking around at the mess of people.

Humming, you scan the area. There’s some people you recognise from class, but plenty more you don’t know. Fucking friends seems like a bad move, even in your tipsy state, so you look to the strangers faces. They don’t look like him. Ugh. 

There’s a few options though, and as you point them out to Eren they come with brief descriptors: dark hair and stubble, wide set blonde. He tuts at the options, sarcastically letting out a “sure sure, I see the appeal”. 

“And how about you, anyone you like the look of?” you ask with a sigh.

Christ, Eren thinks to himself. It’s been long enough that he hasn’t had to look for someone else. Sure there were attractive people in the world, but with her around, he hadn’t needed to give anyone else a second look. His palm moves to the back of his neck, stretching out behind him with a huff. “Let’s look on the dance floor?” he offers, clearly not as eager as you were tonight. Moving his hand back down, he holds it out for you, pulling towards the throng of people.

He looks effervescently cool like this. Shirt open, hair starting to fall from his bun. Eren is looking around at the people surrounding the two of you. The two of you had been working in circles, allowing each other an eyeful as the club goers move around the space. As a group of guys push their way from the dance floor to the bar, you get shoved towards Eren. Heels were never quite your forte, and you stumble against him, hands on either side of his chest. Grinning down at you with that smug little smile that annoyed you so much, Eren brought large hands to your waist, pushing you away a little. But his hands stay there as he continues to sway to the music, making no effort to break the contact. And so you bring your arms up to his neck, allowing his movements to carry you on time to the song. For the first time in the past couple of weeks, you feel light. Your chest isn’t constricted by some foreign weight. It’s just you and your best friend, buzzed and free.

Colours change above you, as you look up to Eren, him down to you. A playful grin takes his lips as he pulls you a little closer, you so easily accepting the narrowing distance. Your black silk meets his deep green, chest pushing into his. You carefully analyse his features, seeing if he attempts to check you out like earlier. 

Was it the alcohol making your cheeks so warm? Lit up by a purple hue, you watch his eyes return to exploring the crowd, his hand still holding on to you. His smirk falters, his eyebrows creasing together. You’re not moving in circles anymore, Eren pausing in his movements as he thinks about what to do next. He shouldn’t lie to you, but seeing your ex at the bar would really harsh the night. Under his fingers, he can feel your body tense, suddenly unsure at how close the contact between you was. 

But Eren doesn’t want you to know, he doesn’t want you to be distracted by your ex tonight. He doesn’t want to see your hurt little face anymore. The way your eyes would be red and puffy the next day. The way he would feel your shoulders heaving under his arms. You don’t deserve that. Hell, you didn’t deserve the huge amount of shit your ex had put you through over the years he’d known you. Eren would sit back and listen to you rant, support you where he could. But fuck that guy. And he wasn’t sure what sparked in his chest, but Eren’s jade orbs are trained straight back on you. His eyebrows calm, tension releasing from them. As you can turn to scope out whatever had changed his body language so suddenly, he catches your jaw. 

Beginning to slowly move again, his eyes have narrowed, taking in the way the dress hugs you, the shine on your skin from the hot dance floor. Eren couldn’t quite figure out what was intoxicating him right now. Definitely a lot of alcohol, but also a sudden… possessiveness. He didn’t want you in pain anymore. Eren wanted you in pleasure. His breath is suddenly on your neck, making your hair raise. 

“I’ve only seen one person I’m interested in tonight.” 

“Oh?” you squeak, before clearing your throat a little. The new deep notes in his voice catch you off guard. It almost sounds like he’s… No. He’s your best friend. The little looks you’d been giving each other all night were just two people looking out for one another, two people seeing each other happy for the first time in a while. Your voice is calmer as you ask light-heartedly, “and who would that be?” 

His lips are so close to your ear. 

“You.” 

“Eren-” your hands move from behind his neck, resting on his shoulders. You need to see your best friend's face, you need to know if he’s joking right now. If he’s mocking you. When you draw back, you see his face. Smug, as always. Fuck you’ve always wanted to knock that cockiness down a peg. Cheshire smile showing his teeth and his eyes looking down at you. Half lidded eyes, pupils blown. He’s not joking. Fuck.

“Can I kiss you?” 

Your breath is caught in your throat. All too aware suddenly of each of his finger pads pressing into your skin, the contact feeling like fire with the added alcohol. But, you find yourself nodding, the yes just escaping your lips before he’s pressed into them.

Large hands travel to your hip, and up your back, pressing you into him. You can feel his body, tense in exhilaration against you, hands back around his neck. One travels up to the nape of his back, tangling into his hair and pulling him deeper into you. The music is all consuming, you can feel the bass in your body, you can feel Eren against you, you can feel the adrenaline coursing through your veins. 

Eren’s hand on your back travels up, echoing your placement on him, to hold the back of your neck. He doesn’t want you to go, you feel too good. The heat between your bodies could suffocate him. His thumb puts pressure under your jaw, he isn’t even sure you can feel it. But he can, measuring your pulse racing underneath the pad. He’s smiling into this kiss, this all consuming kiss.

His tongue swipes at your bottom lip, and you’re all too eager to allow him into your mouth. Tasting the whisky from your home, tasting the coke from the club. His teeth take your lip nipping slightly, before sucking the plump of it into his mouth. You both come up for air, eyes meeting in acknowledgment of the situation.

“Wanna get out of here?”

The drive home had only served to heap tension between you. As clearly that it was that you wanted each other, you would have to wait a while longer. Your thighs pressed together, slowly inhaling and exhaling. Going through your mind was whether this was a good idea, staring out at the city passing by you. Eren was your friend. You were dating another man two weeks ago. The same man that had previously asked you if he needed to be worried about Eren. You’d laughed it off, because it was Eren. You were brought out of your thoughts when you felt him grip your leg, a little too harshly at first, before settling, leaving a gentle pattern of circles and lines on your inner thigh. It was Eren.

Just one hallway. You had to make it one hallway to get into your apartment. One hallway left to come to your senses. And just like he read your mind, Eren is once again touching you, just his hand on yours pulling you backwards. You twist just in time, his hands instantly cupping your cheeks as he kisses you, deeply and intensely. Pushing you back into the wall, you pray a neighbour doesn’t walk out now. His knee is pressing gently between your legs, and you allow it. Your fingers sink into Eren’s arms, lightly covered by the fabric yet you can still feel the muscle underneath, relaxing and tensing as he pulls you closer. 

His lips are making their way to your jaw, lifting your chin upwards, tentatively licking the bone before moving downwards still, sucking and nipping and licking your neck. A whimper breaks through. You really need to get inside. Gripping his hair, you sharply pull backwards.

“Not going to play nice, huh?” 

When did he speak like this? The playful and shit-eating grin your friend Eren always wore was replaced by something darker, his words laced with intent. 

“Don’t challenge me.” 

You were off, finally at your door, making quick work with the lock, moving in first before he followed. The door shut as you pushed Eren against it, usual doe eyes being taken over with a deep lust. Your hands are instantly at his belt, as his hands find your face once again. This time he’s grabbing your hair, making you look up at him as he glares down at you. You’re constantly challenging one another in conversation, and it’s translating to the bedroom far too easily. 

Lips are on one another again, as you leave the belt and start towards his shirt. You bite down on his bottom lip, earning a hiss from him, and you feel his hand being brought around your throat. He doesn’t add too much pressure, checking if this turn is indeed okay with you. When you push against the weight, he takes the gleam in your eye as a yes, and uses the force to push you against the next wall, finally moving off the front door. 

It’s a constant battle to get to the bedroom, both of you taking control for short bursts. Eren pulling the thin straps of your dress down, you untucking his shirt. His muscular torso is on full display, and you had never viewed it in this light before. 

Finally he pushes you onto the bed, situating himself between your legs. Your kisses are sloppy and infused with alcohol. Hands are desperate with one another, both of you needing to be closer. Are you scared if the contact ends your thoughts will return to sanity? 

Eren’s hot and heavy over you, his hands seem everywhere at once. Smoothing up your thigh, digging in slightly to the flesh when you grind against one another. His hands rest at your hips for a moment, and he’s looking down at you, still fucking smiling. All at once, he’s flipped you over his prominent hard on pressing into your ass. He’s whispering in your ear, leaving wet kisses along your neck, to your shoulder blades. Fingers take the zip at the back of your dress, slowly and carefully pulling it down, leaving licks and pecks as he goes. It’s torturous. 

You attempt to speed things up by rutting your ass against his crotch, and you think you hear a quiet moan, before his hand is brought down to the fabric, smacking your cheek. You gasp, turning your head to look at him. Eren is too occupied in taking in all of your body, his green eyes are darkened with authority and lust. His nimble fingers play with the short hem of your dress, thumb dipping beneath, before he pushes the silk up. 

You both let out soft fuck’s, as his hands grab at the plump of your ass. It’s like he’s testing the softness, the way your flesh responds to his touch so easily. He slaps at you again, earning a sharp moan from you. Eren’s leaning down, his mouth once again trailing across the apex of your behind, leaving trails of saliva as he goes. Before you can even register the new sensations you can feel a soft pressure against your clothed cunt, just enough to let you know the presence of his hand, but not enough for you to get off on. You’re mewling, once again trying to get closer to him. This time he allows it, eagerly pressing his ring and middle finger to your clit, allowing you to grind upon them. 

Seeing you underneath him like this… it’s new and strange and so fucking hot. He’s watching you desperately try and fill the need building in your core, and he can only feel his cock twitch in his pants as he sees you coming undone. If you wanted more, he could definitely give it to you. Bringing his large hands away, to the flimsy fabric that was covering you, he pulls it down, exposing you to him. His heart and dick fucking jump. His hands return to your ass, watching the jiggle as you move and whimper. Spreading you, he brings his face down, breath tingling on your most sensitive areas.

Your breath catches in your throat as his tongue, gentle at first, licks between your folds. He’s tasting you, he’s moaning into your pussy, as you write beneath him. Eren’s hands are squeezing your ass cheeks, holding you still as you try to grind against his face. 

“Patience, y/n”, he says, with a slap on your behind again. 

“Fuck you,” you hiss. 

“You will be in a minute, baby girl, don’t worry.”

You go to make a retort but he’s instantly back, licking up your slit and a deep moan escapes you. Jesus you can feel the smile on his lips as he’s back on your pussy. Eren is so proud of the sounds he can draw from you. He wonders if your ex could make you come undone so easily. 

You taste sweet and saccharine on him, and he doesn’t hold back the groan as he further works his way into you. Hardened tongue moving it’s way from your entrance down to your clit. He swipes at it, before moving away again. Kissing your thighs, kissing the skin between your holes. Every now and then he’ll move back to your clit, allowing you a moment of pleasure before he’s teasing again. “Fuck, please”. Your whines are being smothered by the sheets, and Eren wants nothing more than to hear them, loud and clear.

Eren’s ringed fingers make their way to your hair, his face lifting from between your legs. He pulls you back round, and holy shit you can see how wet you are on his face. There’s a sheen to his lips and chin, and instinctively you reach up to his neck, pulling him back on top of you. Your tongue meets his, tasting your tartness on his mouth. A hand makes it way back down in between your thighs, playing and parting your folds. Your hand in turn reaches up his neck, pulling sharply at his hair once again. “Eren. More- please” you get out in between staggered breaths. 

“Aw, since you asked so nicely” his eyes watch your expression closely as his thumb rests on your clit, his finger swiftly moving inside you. Your eyebrows raise and knot, eyes wide and lips parted. But he keeps it still as your legs shaked around his arm. “Eren, move” you demand this time. 

“Oh, that’s not so nice. I liked it when you were polite.” He starts to retract his finger, thumb gently swabbing your clit so you’ll know what you miss.

“Please, please, please, Eren, please” you speak before he even gets the first knuckle out. All the teasing was creating a tightness in your lower stomach. 

“Much better.”

You whine as he continues to pull his finger from you, until he pushes it back in, curling his solitary finger up. Your fingernails are pressing deep into the muscle of his bicep, feeling how it moves as he finger fucks you. He’s hitting that perfect spot inside you again and again, and his thumb is swiping eagerly on your clit. 

Eren can feel you fluttering around his finger, desperate for more, desperate to release on him. He adds another finger, your wetness allowing him entrance easily. He wants to fuck you so bad, his cock so hard it felt like it was about to burst. 

He pushes your hands off him, leaving crescent moon indents deep in his skin, he works his way back down. He brings the black silk with him this time, fully being able to take in your body as you’re left naked before him. Holy shit you’re beautiful. He doesn’t want to stare too long and make you shy. But he still kisses his way down, before he’s back at your pussy. 

This time he allows you more movement, letting your fingers work their way back into his hair, letting you roll your hips against his tongue and stubble. 

With his spare hand he pulls out his cock, slowly pulling at it, before he realises he can’t do that for too long without cumming before the main event. Instead he reaches up, rolling your perked nipples in between his fingers. There are so many sensations on your body, and Eren can feel your cunt beginning to tighten around his fingers. You hold your breath before letting out little moans, building towards reaching your height.

“You want to cum on my fingers?

Your back is arching, whispering “yes, yes, yes, please” as your walls are tightening around him. He quickens the pace, making sure to hit that spot inside you over and over. Thighs around his face, he can feel your slick pooling in his mouth, and coating his chin once again. 

Your gummy walls are so tight around his thick fingers, he needs you to finish, watch you fully unravel below him. Sucking and licking at your clit, he’s pushing you towards the edge. 

“Eren-” his name is strangled coming out of you, and then your moaning, undulating your cunt against his mouth, riding out your orgasm. 

His jade eyes look up at you, watching as you pull your head up to look at him, before another wave of pleasure hits you and you have to arch your neck and look back up. He waits for you to come down, letting you fuck his face and fingers. Grinding against his stubble and tongue as you let out pitiful and beautiful moans. You’re so fucking wet, the sounds coming from between the two of you should be forbidden, as you release onto him. 

Finally he withdraws, using his forearm to wipe his face. He lies next to you, allowing you a moment as he draws little circles on your stomach. Eren has never quite looked at you in this light. Sure, you were pretty, and the two of you were obviously close. But now you’d walked a line that couldn’t be undone. You weren’t over your ex, and as okay as Eren was with what had happened between you, he didn’t want you to run. He’s overcome with thoughts, looking down to your chest and the heavy breaths you were taking. All he could pray was that you weren’t pretending he was someone else. 

But as Eren is getting caught up in his own mind, you’re twisting, hand reaching to his crotch, cock having been recaptured by his boxers. Palming him, you feel how big he really is for the first time. Fingers trace the edge of his pants and underwear, and he lifts his hips, allowing you to pull them down. Shit. His dick slapped back to his stomach, precum leaking from the top of his pink head. He was bigger than you’d imagined, because of course you’d imagined it a couple of times.

Your hand looks so small around his cock, but you slowly tease him, his deep green orbs following your movements. Bringing your head down to him, you kitten lick the precum from the top of his dick. He hisses gently, and you look up at him with these big doe eyes, so fucking eager to please.

You push your lips around him, hollowing your cheeks and flattening your tongue as you begin working along his shaft. He moans just at the sight of you, your eyes peeking up through dark lashes. His hand goes through your hair, eagerly pushing you deeper around him. 

He lets out a hoarse, “is this okay?” before you put your own hand on his pushing it for the both of you. You don’t even want to come up for air, you just want him close to you, inside you. 

You were learning far more about each other than you had expected, as Eren takes back over. He pushes himself further into you, muttering a good girl that has you whining. The vibrations around his cock make his hips buck, and now you’re gagging as his length hits the back of your throat. He holds you there instead of letting you off, and your nails are sharp against his thighs.

His head lolls back as he starts to move his hips under you, moving you in turn with your hair. He picks up the pace quickly, allowing saliva to drool from you and straight to his cock. 

Your eyes prick, big fat tears forming at the corners. But you’re enjoying this way too much, the moans and gasps he gives make you moan, pressing your thighs together for some kind of friction. 

He takes your jaw in his grasp, allowing you a moment to catch your breath. Your tongue sits out your mouth, him smacking the head of his dick on it. He notices your tears then, the mascara that’s running a little. He swipes at the corner of your eyes, leaning down to press a kiss into your forehead. 

Bringing you up to him, your dripping folds sliding across his length. His lips are on your cheeks, across your jaw, licking up your neck before reclaiming your plush lips once again. You continue grinding against one another, tongues slipping in and out of each other's mouths. Eventually Eren brings his hands to your hips, lifting you up as you hold his shaft up.

Your foreheads are pressed together as he slowly pushes inside you. The stretch is burning and all-consuming, eyes pricking up again as you feel him hit your furthest wall. Eren breathes out heavily, “So fucking tight”

You roll your hips, allowing some friction from him on your clit. It helps your muscles relax a little, and balancing your hands on his shoulders you push yourself up and down, using his length for your own pleasure. Eren’s eyes don’t leave your form, watching your breasts bounce and how your eyes flutter close as he fills you entirely.

“You really did want to be fucked, huh? Look at you” he teases you, watching as you go to talk back before he thrusts his hips up. It leaves the words caught in your throat.

His pace maintains, holding you in place as he fucks up into you, feeling your cunt clench around him. There are long moments where you hold your breath, holding his cock tight within you. Then you’ll release and moan, before holding it in again. Well, Eren is all too happy to help you with that. 

One hand grabbing the flesh of your hip, the other wrapping around your throat, he pushes into you at a punishing rate. Your eyes go wide at the sudden restriction of your throat, feeling the cold metal of his ring against your pulse. 

“Who knew this about you? That you were such a slut?”

As much as he knows you want to deny it, you want to smack the smugness from his voice, he can feel your pussy tighten around him. He sees your eyes roll back a little. 

“You’re getting tighter.” 

The hand on your hip moves down, attempting to hold you in place whilst letting his thumb press over your clit. The sounds of him slapping against your wetness is obscene, and he’s only distracted from it as you whimper out pathetic yes’s and please’s. 

“You wanna cum?” he’s grunting, trying to keep the pace going until you can reach your peak.

You nod against his wide hand, still tight around your neck. “Oh you can do better than that. I already know how bad you want it, slut.”

“Please Eren, please make me cum. I want to cum, please, please, please” you can barely make out the words, your head going light and body tightening.

“Cum for me.” 

You release, and as he can feel the fluttering of your walls around him, he lets go of your throat. The sudden oxygen as you cum leaves you overwhelmed. Burying yourself in his shoulder, he fucks you through it. Cock slapping up into your cunt over and over, somehow being sucked deeper in as you coat his length with more of your own slick. He can feel your nails breaking the flesh of his back as you’re holding on for dear life, moaning his name and even a fucking thank you into his ear.

As you begin to slow, legs shake as you stay straddled over him. He flips you, Eren now firmly on top, slowly moving in and out of you. The stimulation is intense, your cunt sparking at any sensation. 

Caged between his forearms, his hair is a mess thanks to you. You push tendrils back past his ears as he leans down to kiss you once again. This kiss is different. It feels… less desperate. It feels deep and meaningful, caring even.

Your eyes meet in acknowledgment, both of you too worried to speak about the shift in tone. 

He reaches down instead, pulling your leg up and splitting you on his cock. A tongue swipes at your nipple, biting and playing with each as he gradually picks up pace again. You’re still so fucking wet it’s easy for him to thrust into you at a dizzying pace. You can feel all of him against your gummy walls. Each time he passes that special spot inside you, you moan and gasp, and it’s the best sound he’s ever heard.

His thrusts were becoming more primal, holding your thighs close around his hips. Letting your sweaty bodies collide again and again, his balls slapping against you. The grunts and moans coming from his lips were so infuriatingly erotic. Eren just wanted one more from you, and then he’d let himself finish. If this was to be a drunken mistake, so be it, but he would at least make it memorable. 

Those jade eyes were on you once again, the power and dominance radiating from the immeasurable. He can see you barely being able to hold on, completely fucked out beneath him. You’re moaning and whining, hands moving over the swell of your breasts and playing with your nipples as if it’s going to keep you grounded. 

He sits up, eyes flicking down to where you were conjoined. It took so much restraint not to cum inside you right then and there. Your glistening sex was so tight around him, the wet slapping noises echo again and again. You’re pulling and sucking him in, cream pooling around his length. 

“Give me one more, y/n. I want to feel you cum on my cock.”  

You try to look up at him through heavy lids. Your friend Eren saying this is so taboo. The words he’s said tonight so far from normal for the both of you. You flutter around him, somehow your pussy still wants to be fucked, still wants to push you off the edge one more time. You can feel the coil inside your stomach tightening. 

Eyes rolling back, you can barely keep it together anymore. He’s pounding into you at a startling rate, fingers flicking over your clit again and again and again. 

“P - please, it’s s-so good.” 

Your breaths between words were quick, “you’re so big-”

“Yeah you like that? You like being so full of my cock? Such a pretty face you make when you’re all fucked out.” 

Holy shit.

Eren could tell how much words affected you, your back arching and legs pulling him somehow closer into you.

“Come on, baby. I wanna hear those moans.” he’s grunting, getting so fucking close to losing himself in your cunt. He knows what he wants to hear most though, “say my name. Tell me who’s treating you how you should be”

With that, you’re losing yourself around him again. Writing on the bed, gripping sheets in tightly balled fists. White light taking over your sight as you clench around Eren. This orgasm was the most intense, taking your body by surprise in its overstimulated state. You weren’t even making a noise, just holding on to the high for as long as possible. 

And then you shattered, whining and moaning, whispering his name over and over again. 

As you moved underneath him, Eren kept his punishing pace up until he watched you expel the last of your energy. Name forming on your lips over and over again he falters, releasing inside you. You can feel the stickiness inside you, the sensation of being filled up. Eren watches for a moment as he sees the white pearls forming around your stretched out pussy.

His chest is back on yours as he kisses your neck, shoulders, whatever skin he can. Thrusting back into you a couple of times, he finally pulls out. You feel his cum dripping out of you, but you’re too spent to do anything about it.

Eren lies next to you, both of your bodies attempting to regulate from that. 

“You okay?” 

He’s checking in, making sure he didn’t go too far with someone he genuinely cares for. 

You nod, turning to meet his stare. Giving him a drowsy smile, you’re not sure what comes next. But for now, you’re happy. Curling into his side, he puts an arm round you and lets you rest for a while. As he notices your breathing become deeper, he nestles into you, muttering something about clean up. 

Moving away from you, you can make out some noises of a tap, drawers opening and closing. In your sleepy state you feel him gently wiping at you, two glasses of water being put on the bedside table. Finally he makes his way back to you, and Eren notes how cute you look. Hot and completely fucked out, yes. But also gentle and at peace, allowing the heaviness of sleep taking over.

He rests behind you, wanting to be back in your warmth. He pulls you in closer, wrapping an arm around your waist. The fragrance of you takes over his nostrils, and he’s all too eager to move closer to your hair, pressing one last kiss at the nape of your neck. Whatever tomorrow brings, he hopes it’s not the last time he gets to be this close to you.

#eren jaeger smut #eren jaeger x reader #eren yaeger smut #eren yaeger x reader #aot smut #eren smut #eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader smut #eren yaegar x reader smut #attack on titan smut #pls be nice lmao

[moonctzeny]

The Bet

au+trope+prompt game: coffee shop!au Mark + enemies to lovers + is that the best you can do?

pairing: mark lee + fem!reader

other members as background characters: lucas

genre: fluff (only some suggestive stuff)

word count: 3,796

warnings: slight objectification of reader, suggestive stuff, heavy making out, a boner, i guess a stockings kink

summary: “When you took that part time job as a barista at your local café, you only cared about grabbing your check while doing the least work possible. But when your supervisor, Mark Lee, keeps getting praised and winning ‘Employee Of The Month’, you offer a bet, to prove him that he’s no better than you. The outcome? Your relationship changing forever.”

a/n: hbd baby <3

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

It started off as just a little part time job.

College life was not easy to cope with financially, and eating instant noodles for a week straight could only save you so much money. So when you saw the ‘Barista Wanted’ sign at the cafe that was just a block away from your house, you didn’t miss your chance for a few extra bucks. And that’s all that job would be for you. Doing the least work possible for the minimum wage you were given, if it wasn’t for him. Mark Lee.

Mark was sweet, honestly. He greeted you with a smile when you first came in and showed you around. He was a bit shy when he awkwardly stated that he was kind of like a supervisor there. But the way that the boss would go on and on about how great he was, every Monday morning, was starting to get annoying. So was his ability to always save your ass whenever you made a mess in front of your boss. So was his picture hanging in the “Employee Of The Month” frame right from across the bar. That kid won that title every.single.month. And no overtimes, sweeping or mopping from your part seemed to change your boss’s mind.

It all began when you and Lucas, another part-time worker whose shift started right after yours, were talking about whether you would make rent this month. Mark was sitting next to you, occupied with organizing some cups by size, but decided to chip in.

“Well”, he sighed “guess we’re just gonna have to eat the rich. Or take that pole dancing class you mentioned, Lucas.”

The taller boy found it funny, letting out his signature giggle and you would too, if Mark’s damn “Employee of the Month” picture wasn’t staring right into your soul, mocking you.

You rolled your eyes. “Not all of us are lucky enough to get that sweet I-love-kissing-the-boss’s-ass bonus every month, Lee”. Lucas whistled at your comment, used to your bickering but still very entertained.

“Careful how you speak to your supervisor, y/n or you’ll never get to be employee of the month”.

“Oh please”, you scoff “having extra keys to the back exit and cleaning the coffee machine twice a week? That’s wayyy too much responsibility”.

Sarcasm was dripping from your voice, but you were only half lying. You didn’t give a flying fuck for the position. You just wanted it because he had it. And that certain “he” was starting to get a little tired from your constant degradation. Mark smirked at you, but anger was evident on his expression.

“You should be thanking me, you know. At least you get to mooch off of my tips”.

Lucas yelled a drawn out “ooohhh” but you could barely hear him. Your eyes were piercing Mark’s, too busy keeping yourself from blurting out every profanity that came to your head in that moment. Instead, you took a deep breath.

“You think you make more tips than me?”, you asked calmly. Cockier than ever, the boy instantly replies with a “I know I do”, never breaking eye contact. This was your chance, you thought. The chance to prove yourself and shut him up for good.

“How about we make a little bet?”

Mark raised his bow-shaped brows, focusing his attention solely on you.

“Let’s put separate tip jars next to the cashing machine for the rest of the week. If I make more, you’ll convince the boss to remove that horrible frame for good”. He followed your eyes to his picture on the wall, and nodded.

“And when I win?”, he asked curiously and you chose to ignore his little play on words. You furrowed your brows, trying to think of a good motivation for him, as if his competitive nature wasn’t enough.

“OH! OH!” Lucas interrupted, “she can go on a date with that creepy friend of yours that always comes to the cafe to see her!”

Mark’s eyes instantly lit up at the idea. He handed out his pinky, looking to seal the deal with you.

“Bet’s on”, he said, with a seriousness that looked foreign on his cute features, and motioned to his pinky with his eyes, urging you to intertwine it with yours.

You sighed and walked away, muttering a “God, you are so lame”, but the next morning you came to work with a jar with your name written all pretty on it.

You didn’t really have a strategy per se. In fact, you had completely forgotten about the bet, too busy preparing orders and running around. You were cleaning up for Lucas to take your place in the shift, when you felt Mark looking down at you from the other side of the counter that usually separated you from the costumers. “May I be of help, sir?”, you asked him mockingly, not bothering to spare him a glance.

“You should wear those white thigh highs. You look cute in them.”

“Huh? What?”, you ask in confusion, still cleaning the surface carefully.

“In your date with Jason”, he explained with a teasing tone in his voice, Jason being his ‘creepy friend’ as Lucas calls him. Why did he have to piss you off right when you were ready to go home?

You continued to ignore him, only muttering a “I’m not going on that date”, when you hear a clinging sound and finally look up at Mark.

“You sure?”

He was holding the two tip jars, swinging them around. To your horror, Mark’s had more than twice the money than yours.

“WHAT??” you let out and immediately regretted it when some costumers looked at you like you were crazy. You continued with a whispered yell, “How the fuck did that happen??”

Mark grinned at you and lifted his shoulders innocently, before walking away. He must have cheated by slipping in coins when you weren’t looking, that sly motherfucker.

That’s it, you decided, on Wednesday you were going to spy on his every move.

After watching him intently for the whole morning, you came to the conclusion that Mark had a way of making everybody like him. Whether it was him memorizing the regulars and their orders, or asking them if they knew some random Will Smith song about Miami, he was always the textbook example of an eager, smiley and pleasant barista. Even you smiled at the sight of him fumbling with the pen when two pretty girls gave him their names to write on the coffee cups. He flashed them a smile and mumbled an apology, and you watched as they cooed at him and left a very generous tip. You were almost convinced by his adorable act, when he turned around and winked your way.

Ugh, you hated Mark Lee.

You decided that making a better connection with the customers was the way to go. You weren’t the type to start a conversation about the weather out of the blue, nor did you know any Will Smith songs, so you decided on drawing a little doodle on the cup next to their names with every order. The younger ones thought it was a nice addition to their snapchat story, the older ones found you cute. And as they came back for a coffee refill, your jar started filling up as well. It wasn’t much but you were getting closer to reaching the 3/4 of Mark’s tips, so you were pretty happy with yourself.

You were drawing a little heart for a latte when you smelled his cologne. You felt his breath pushing away at the hairs that were sticking out from your ponytail at the nape of your neck. You hated how it sent a shiver to your spine, how it made your hands a little shaky and how the heart drawing turned out a little wonky.

Mark was your “enemy” and your supervisor and Mr. Annoyingly Perfect but Mark was also hot. You would never admit it, but you even had a little crush on him when you started working there. You might pull a disgusted face every time Lucas tells you that the solution to your constant bickering was to “just fuck already”, but you wondered whether it was his oblivion to your crush that made your little hatred towards him grow. And you’d be lying if you said that you never stared at his cute ass sticking out of his apron a second too long, or that it didn’t turn you on when he got pissed at the ice getting stuck in the blender.

So now that he was almost pressing against you from behind, closer than ever, you wouldn’t mind at all. That is if he didn’t open his god damn mouth.

“Really?”, he scoffed “Is that the best you can do?”

His tone was so condescending that it made you furious, pressing your nails in the paper cup, and you were surprised that the liquid didn’t spill everywhere. He gave you a victorious smirk from getting that reaction out of you, and you wanted to punch it right off of his face.

Oh, that meant war.

On Thursday morning, you walked in looking the best you’ve ever looked for a morning shift. You had your hair in pigtails, hair bands matching the color of your lowcut dress. Your lengthened the straps of your apron, your cleavage not leaving much to the imagination.

It was ridiculous, you thought, how many tips a push up bra can get you. It only took a couple customers for the word to spread and the horny men to line up at the cafe. You batted your eyelashes at them, the “Good morning, I’m here to serve you, how can I help you sir?”driving them nuts. You had to say it every time, shop’s policy, but now it sounded more suggestive than ever. You were disgusted by their gawking eyes and terrible attempts at flirting, but you had a goal.

And hell were you winning. You weren’t sure if it was your jar that was filling up at an amazing rate or your outfit, but that was the first time you ever saw Mark make a mistake in his orders. You swore you felt his gaze following you around all day, murmuring something to himself every time a customer asked him if the pretty girl could serve them instead.

It was the end of the shift, and you were happily chatting with Lucas as you were cleaning up the counter. He was doing a terrible job at keeping his eyes away from your chest, but when it came to someone as good looking as him, you really didn’t mind the attention. You took your apron off and started folding it neatly when Mark took your wrist and dragged you into the storage room.

He held a bunch of wrinkly paper towels in his hands. You noticed something was written with a pen messily on each of them.

“This is the seventh phone number that a dude has given me today”, he told you as he stared into your eyes, careful not to move his gaze any more south. It was your turn to mess with him.

“Well good for you”, you said with a smile, “Didn’t know you were so popular with men, Mark”

He closed his eyes, trying to control his temper, and shoved the towels towards you.

“They’re for you. They asked me to pass them to you. After the third guy I forgot what their names were but you can figure them out yourself”. You took them from him with a quiet “oh, thanks” and he sighed.

“You can’t come in here looking like that. This is a workplace.”

You looked at him with wide eyes and fake innocence. “Like what? What’s wrong with my outfit?”. His patience was running short.

“Why don’t you ask Lucas” he replied, with a tone that started to piss you off.

“If you can’t control your hormones like you’re some teenage boys, that’s not my prob-“ you start but he cuts you off. You had never seen him act so stern.

“We have a dress code. Maybe the boss can remind you, if you want”.

It was the first time Mark had actually pulled the supervisor card on you and you felt a little hurt by the coldness of his voice. You swear you saw a bit of instant regret in his eyes but you decided to leave the matter alone, and left the storage room after ostentatiously throwing the phone numbers in the bin next to the door.

Friday was the last day of the bet. You didn’t show up with a flashy outfit, because 1) you didn’t want to risk losing your job for a stupid bet and 2) because straight men were annoying and so were their pickup lines that you didn’t want to deal with. You did wear the white thigh highs Mark mentioned though, with a skirt whose length followed the dress code, just to tease him a little bit. You had never worn them in work before, but when you ran across Mark one day on your way home from a girls’ night out, both a little drunk and disoriented, he didn’t hide his admiration towards them.

He noticed right away when you walked in the café this afternoon. Fridays were the only days when you took the later shift instead of the morning one. You hated it because that meant having to work with Mark until closing, and due to his perfectionism you’d always be staying with him overtime, cleaning every inch of the place, and never participating in any Friday parties that your friends hosted.

You were a little worried that things would be awkward between you after your little argument yesterday, but when he pointed at your stockings and asked if you were “dressed up for the date already”, you knew he didn’t keep any hard feelings and neither did you. What you didn’t expect was his jar to be as full as yours, if not more.

You panicked, and took Lucas to the side, making him promise that he would tell you if he had cheated while you were gone or not. He shrugged.

“Sorry, pretty, no cheating. A high school visited the park across the street as a field trip. The girls went crazy over him. Pretty sure they spent all their allowance here”.

At that you dropped your shoulders in defeat and worked your shift with a pout on your face. You wouldn’t take the humiliation of losing the bet, especially after the little stunt you pulled on Thursday. The hours went by agonizingly slow, and the moment you were dreading finally came.

You turned the “Sorry, we’re closed” sign at the glass entrance door, as you were mopping the floor. All the costumers were gone, and your boss had left the keys to you and Mark, asking you to lock up instead as he had ‘an errand to run’. You wished that your coworker would somehow forget about your bet and spare you the embarrassment, but instead, he gave you a devilish side smirk and motioned you to come closer.

He emptied his jar first, and started counting out loud in front of you, insisting that you do it out together so as not to pull any “funny business”.

40 bucks. It wasn’t bad, it was good actually, and you groaned, now feeling more nervous than ever.

Mark on the other hand, relaxed his shoulders and happily started counting your tips this time. His smile started to wear off, though, as you did much better that he thought. You were neck-to-neck, figuratively and almost literally, as your heads nearly bumped together in deep concentration.

“37,38,39,40…41,42,43” he whispered out and you couldn’t believe your eyes.

You won. You actually won. You never had to see that stupid “Employee Of The Month” frame ever again and most importantly, you were finally better than Mark at something.

You let out a high-pitched squeal, jumping up and down excitedly on your spot, strikingly different that the boy next to you, who was frozen in place.

“I woooon” you teased him with a sing-song voice “and you looooost, loserrr”

It was an understatement to say that Mark was fuming.

“It’s not fair!” he yelled and pointed an accusing finger towards you. You rolled your eyes and walked further back, next to the counter with the coffee machines, happily swinging your hips.

“Don’t be a sore loser Mark, I won fair and square”

“I’m not a sore loser!”, he whines, “I was at a disadvantage!”

You raise an eyebrow and turn towards him, to see that he had taken a few steps at your direction. “Oh yeah? And what is that?”

“You’re hot!”, he groans and rubs his hands over his face. “Hell, I would die from a caffeine overdose if it meant seeing you with your little pigtails and that top and that smile, ready to ‘serve me, sir’”

You could feel your ears and cheeks turning on fire and you’d blame it on the flattery, but his horrible high-pitched impression of your voice was what made you too angry to fully process what he said.

You grabbed a syrup bottle from the counter behind you and pointed it towards his face.

“Ugh, Mark! You’re so annoying! Why do you always need to be the best at everything!”

You barged into him, squeezing the bottle over his face. With his quick reflexes he swiftly grabbed your hand, successfully immobilizing you, but you had already managed to get a big, fat line of syrup right across his lips.

In a moment of clarity, you stopped resisting and became aware of the position you and Mark were in. You had moved backwards as a result of your fight, the countertop digging in your lower back. His one hand was grabbing at your lifted arm by the wrist, the other resting on the marbled surface behind you in an effort to detain you. To top it all off, you stared at the mess you made on his lips, coupled by the unreadable look on his eyes.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, you thought. This is your supervisory/n! You know, the guy in charge when the boss is gone? The guy that you basically jumped because of a stupid bet? That you actually won? But will still get you fired?

You were getting ready to move away and profusely apologize to Mark, your eyes frantically moving from his eyes, to his lips, to his “Employee Of The Month” picture from across the room. He, however, stayed still, only releasing your wrist to now place his hand under your chin, forcing you to look at him.

“Clean this mess”, he demanded, in a tone you would have never expected from Mark, “immediately”

In the seconds that followed his demand, the tension between you two was thicker than the drizzle that still decorated his mouth. He came even closer, your noses only a centimeter apart, his fingers pressing on your face lightly.

You were worried whether you read the room wrong or not, because if you did, your next move would most certainly get you fired.

He could barely hear your whispered “here to serve you” before you finally closed the distance between you.

You pulled his bottom lip between your lips, your tongue shyly sweeping across it, collecting the syrup that was starting to dry into a sugary paste. He was soft like a cloud and tasted like caramel. You repeated the motion for his top lip when you felt him melt into your kiss. The moment was sweet like the taste in your mouth, but it changed as soon as you felt him grab the back of your thighs, lifting you on the top of the counter.

You matched his hunger by sucking on his bottom lip this time, determined to clean him up as best as you could. He moaned your name into the kiss, his fingertips digging in the inside of his favorite thigh highs. Your skirt had well ridden up, allowing him to pinch the fabric of one of them.

“These” he started, his lips now sucking on your neck, “almost cost me my supervisor’s position with all the messing up they made me do”

He let the elastic snap against your thigh, earning a small gasp from you and you decided to tease him a little.

“Is that so huh? Because I’m so hot? With my boobs and my pigtails and my willingness to serve?” you ask with a laugh, and you feel him smile against his deep kiss over your pulse, grabbing your legs to scoot your ass and pull you closer.

“Because you’ve been driving me crazy ever since you got this job. And because you look so fucking sexy when you’re mad”

His boldness made you desperate as you tangled your fingers in his hair and pulled him back up into a passionate kiss. It was sticky and hot and full of tongue, and you felt something poking on the inside of your thigh before a loud noise made you snap and pull away from each other in shock.

You looked at the floor to see a, thankfully not broken, but dismantled blender, that you must have pushed off the counter in the heat of the moment. You stare down at Mark as you both laugh at the situation, his hair messy and lips swollen and you know you definitely mirrored his look.

He cleared his throat. “Uhh, not that I don’t enjoy this, cause I really do, but if we keep at it Lucas is going to be the next Employee Of The Month, and not only is that ridiculous, but we would both basically lose our little bet”

You laughed at his comment and let your feet dangle awkwardly, your cheeks heating at the thought of what might have happened if you two had kept going.

“I’m sorry for being such a bitch about your framed picture” you said with a small voice, avoiding his gaze “you don’t have to take it down”

He smiled at your attempt at peace as he picked up the blender pieces and skillfully riveted them in place. Your eyes suddenly widened before adding, “I will NOT go on a date with your creepy friend though”

Mark giggled at that and shook his head before returning his eyes back at you. His cheeks were flushed a crimson red, deep in thought.

“How about me?” he blurted, “I mean, how about going on a date with me instead?”

You nodded your head, reaching a hand out to fix the messy locks out of his eyes.

“Yes. I think I’d love that”

#mark lee scenarios #nct scenarios #mark lee #mark lee fluff #nct fluff #mark lee birthday #nct au #nct 127 #superm

[magic-number-3]

okay so i actually did watch a few episodes of 911 this week without liveblogging them but i did take notes as if i was liveblogging and then just,,, didnt lmao so in case anyone cares about my thoughts im going to share them anyway asdlfkjsdl mostly i think they’ll just be fun to look at later

2x02

CHRISTOPHER CAN BE ON SCREEN FOR 2 SECONDS AND I LITERALLY LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Eddie Diaz is soooooo fuckin dreamy i stgggggg

“I cant order you guys to go inside that building and im not gonna judge you if you decide not to” “Hen, you got a kid, so...” “Yeah. And I’d hope if someone whose job it was to save him they’d do it. No matter what.” QUEEN SHIT 😤😤😤

Marvin you on thin ice but you right; you a king

IM GOOD COACH HEART OF A CHAMPION WHY AM I CRYING

HEART OF CHAMP I AM CRYING AND THEY ALL KEEP SAYING IT BACK TO HIM IM- IM FRAGILE RN. LITERALLY WHY DID EVERYTHING ABOUT HIS ARC MAKE ME SO EMO

NOT HENRIETTA. FUCK

2x03

MADDIE I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU GOT THIS QUEEN

“They could really use a miracle today” “I might just have a few  of those left. I see them.” ALSKFKGKS crying why is the dialogue so good in this show???

FUCK. RUSS ITS YOUR DAY OFF

Russ gonna die im calling it. They saved the athlete and they’ll probably save the little girl?? So hes not gonna make it. At least hen is okay

“Even i couldnt save me. You dont know me, but im good.” “Oh yeah? Well maybe im better”

FUCK. I called it but it still hurts

CLOSE CALL WITH THAT ELEVATOR OMGGG

ALL OF THAT ENDING??? WE CAN BE HEROES SLAPS AND IK WE BEEN KNEW BUT ALDJFKFKSKJ everything about the end to that episode is so 👌👌👌 i wanna cry

EDDIE RUNNING TO HIS BOYYYYYYYY IM

ATHENA AND BOBBY HELL YEAHHHHH the husband is a straight g pullin thru for him like that

2x04

OMG CHRISTOPHER AND EDDIE IM 🥺🥺🥺

Also Christopher is such. Lil cutie

THEIR LITTLE FAMILY!! THE ABUELA?

“These fire guys are totally hot” LAKJDFKAL I MEAN YOURE RIGHT

AKJDKLASDJ YOU LIVE IN YOUR INVISIBLE GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE AND YOURE TELLING ME ABOUT WEAK EXCUSES. THAT SMUG LOOK ON EDDIES FACE IM ASLKFJSAL

Oh sheet Eddies abuela 😞

Every interaction between Eddie and Christopher got me like 🥺🥺🥺

Okay how are you not supposed to ship Buddie they’re talking about being single together and then his aunt telling buck about how ‘he’s a saint’ and all that??? THATS SUCH ROMANTIC INTEREST SHIT. WHEN DO YOU HAVE A FAMILY MEMBER GUSHING TO A MAIN CHARACTER AND THAT CHARACTER ISNT THE LOVE INTEREST????

HE BROUGHT CHRISTOPHER TO WORK AWWWWW!! THEYRE GOING ON A MISSION TOGETHER

Oooh I love this song STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU

“Now I feel kind of lame” “BECAUSE YOU ARE” LMAO HEN

Ooooh yeah why do you call him chim???

BOBBY AND CHRISTOPHER. CHIM AND CHRISTOPHER. THIS IS SO CUTE

AWE EDDIE AND CAP

BOY CRUSH ON EDDIE ADLSJFLDKS

Awe good for Maddie omg 🥺🥺🥺

CHIMNEY IS A MODERN MEDICAL MIRACLE???? I mean good for him bro figured lol but for it to be said out loud shittttttt

AKSFJALSDK TATIANA SHES FUCKING MARRIED YOURE KIDDING ME HOW QUICKLY DID YOU GET MARRIED AFTER BREAKING UP WITH CHIM

alkjsdskla im losing it over Tatiana

Awww now this is sad :( chim’s got noboddddddy

Sdkljfas Buck you have GOT to move out of Abby’s place dude

‘I had a life-altering trauma and her life got altered. All I got was the trauma.’ THATS SUCH A GOOD LINE SPEAK YOUR TRUTH CHIM

YOURE MY FRIEND SHES YOUR EX. YOU GET TO FORGIVE AND MOVE ON I GET TO HOLD A GRUDGE UNTIL THE DAY I DIE ALSKFDSDA

Chim 🥺 awe. “Wakes me up in the middle of the night”. Buddy :( CAPS GOT YA

CARLAAAAAAAAAA HELL YEA

“BESIDES THAT PERFECT BONE STRUCTURE” SDKAFSJA

like. Fuck Tatiana. But also good for her. And Chim gets to start to move on!! That was a really sweet scene

Aw Bobby gets Athena ^-^

This was such a good fucking episode yo. Like the way the idea of being stuck had to do with the 911s lives while also all of the calls they went one were being physically stuck and the way the proposal instigated Chim’s breakdown to allow him to finally move on…. just. Excellent television!!!!

So proud of Maddie!!!! So proud of everybody this episode :)

Buck yeah you gotta move out buddy

2x05

ASKFJHASJLAD this has gotta be fake im sdlfkjsaldk

LMAOOOO THIS BITCH she’s gonna end up actually getting hurt

OMFGGGGGGGG this bitch had it coming

DONT WE KNOW YOUUUUUUUUU THE PORCH PIRATE?? ASLDKJFALKSS

What is this girls fucking problem with Maddie lmaaooooooo fuck off

Awe this lady with the muffin or whatever is so sweet. This places Celine dion 😂😂😂 queen

Lmao wait why is she actually horrible 😂😭😭

BUCKETTE LMAOOOOO

Omg Maddie and Athena are so fun

THEYRE PROTESTING HOMOSEXUALITY??? WHAT THE FUCK

HES A FUCKING RACIST TOO???

I CAN HELP YOU WITH THE SWEDISH HALF BUT I DONT KNOW WHICH HALF THAT IS SLKDFJASLK EDDIE

I love Maddie and Athena so much alsdkfj

WHATS HER FACE? EVA? STRAIGHT UP BITCH JFC

Gloria im sorry but you’re getting what you deserve.

LKAJSDALKS. “People who yell and scream and cry and expect you to do something for them” GIRL YOU ARE LITERALLY A 911 RESPONDER THAT IS YOUR GOT DAMN JOB???

“Do they ever think of anything but themselves and what they need?” THEY ARE USUALLY DYING GLORIA

“SNITCHES GET STITCHES” JEEZ WOMAN

I feel so bad for Hen and Karen :( Eva can fuck off dude. Can’t they get sharing rights with the dad? I mean yeah it sucks that Eva is just doing this to fuck em over but like.. the dad still deserves to get to know his son if he wants to. Though Eva would probably try to stay with him just to turn Denny against Hen and Karen… UGHHHHHH

Lil denny :( aw Hen. I love her sm

Hen what u doing girl…. Cant it make the case more difficult if you keep interacting with Eva?

I love Karen and Hen sm 🥺

WHAT YOU DOING HEN. ARE YOU JUST GONNA LEAVE HER???

YOURE FINGERPRINTS ARE ON HER NOW DUDE. GO BACK

Ugh I hate that she lived but it was the right thing to do….

“I save awful people every day its my job” Hell yeah girl

SHES GOING BACK TO JAIL HELL YEAH

Dont love cheering for her going back tho jail can be terrible…. But at least she’ll be out of Karen and hens lives. we’re not meant to think too deeply about this is.

LOVE MADDIE AND ATHENA

GLORIA IS THE FUCKING WORST

oh…. gloria… damn.

Cant you just share custody?? :( I mean it sucks but like… just talk to him.

“Yeah people can be awful… but not everyone is awful… but you’ll never know what kind of person someone is unless you give them the chance to show you” :(

WOW THE DAD IS THE FUCKING BEST?? HELL YEAH

ATHENA AND BOOBBY ARE SO FUCKING CUTE

Wow the last shot of the episode thats like the long shot at the dinner table with the narration was real fucking good :( im emo.

2x06

ADSLFJLK;ALSD. BUCK THOUGHT SHE WAS CALLING EDDIE CUTE BUT SHE MEANT CHIMNEY

listen. I do know what happens between those two and I am very excited.

Oh no maddies so anxiousssss

Buck fangirling over this reporter lady im asldkjflksad

“But the way they cared for me, thats what kept me alive” :( Hen :(

Omg are Athenas kids like the same age as Bobbys :(

SOMEONE SENT THEM EDIBLES????? OMFGGGGGG

OH NO CHIM IS THE ONLY ONE THATS SOBER

THIS WOMAN HAS A HIGH HEEL STICKING OUT OF HER FACE EWWWW ITS SO GROSS

DID THESE BEAUTY QUEENS SHRINK OR ARE WE SUDDENLY GIANTS ALKDSJFLKAKL

TEEN TINY THE WAY HIS VOICE FUCKING CRACKED

SDKFJSKDA THEYRE ALL FUCKING HIGH IM

HIGH BOBBY IS SO FUCKIN FUNNY

Oh no eddies upsetttttt 😂

This is fucking HILARIOUS

Oh no bobbyyyyyyyy :((((((

Awe the news piece was so nice

CHIMNEY AND MADDIEEEEEEE

Oh shes got a fucking POPCORN MAKER IM SO JEALOUS

Wow Taylor was really going to use the footage :/

“Just get a room already” BUCK NOOOO DUDE

The way bobby always fist bumps Athenas son whenever they say hello/goodbye. So fun 🥺good content right there

DONT TELL ME THEYRE GONNA ASK HIM TO BE IN THE PIC????

OMGGGGG BOBBYYYYYYY IM CRYINGGGGGG

AWE AND THE FUCKING SONG; WHEN YOU LOVE SOMEONE YOU MAKE ROOM YOU PROBABLY NEVER LOVED SOMEONE LIKE I DO

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[darkpoisonouslove]

Winx Club Season 8 Thoughts Part 2

Well, this is it. Last part of the last season (that has come out) and I haven’t even watched any of it (though, I have heard things). Part 1 can be found here.

8x14:

- Why is this opening with a concert scene when literally the second to last scene in the previous episode was a musical number? At least there was that cute Stella and Brandon moment after to make up for it.

- This is actually a legitimate issue but I do not expect the show to handle the fact that Sky has clashing responsibilities on his shoulders well. They’re already implying that it’s more important for him to be a Specialist rather than a prince and that is not true. Eraklyon will suffer without a good king. Though, on the other hand... how good a king would Sky be? Maybe this is better, after all. At least someone actually interested in doing the job can take over.

- They legit made Erendor a lot thinner than he originally was? And somehow ruined his design also. As well as Diaspro’s. Ugh, why is there gonna be drama with her again????????????????? How many times?!?!?! For fuck’s sake! Just let it end!

- Seriously? They’re all blaming Stella for Bloom’s gloom? Stella has the right to talk about her own relationship as well. And when the fuck have Musa and Riven ever talked? Not to mention that now Riven is trying to communicate with her but she doesn’t even want to give him a chance!

- Valtor has become more cringe than he used to be. At least the Trix seem to have become smarter. We didn’t need him to tell us who they were, however. Also, why does he think that they will not use the star for themselves.

- His new powers literally come from stolen star energy and he just said that stars are made from the sparks that witch and fairy magic are also made of. Aka his magic should be compatible with that of Winx and the Trix as well.

- Oh, great! Now they belong to him. They really didn’t have to make season 8 Valtor a Darkar 2.0 and yet, they thought it was a good idea. I just... nggggggh!

- The Wishing Star... is a woman? And wait, what... They’re saying that Valtor is over a 1000 years old now? Yeah, ‘cause a 1000-year-old sorcerer/demon will totes lose against a bunch of high-schoolers. Makes fucking sense.

- How did Stormy summon an asteroid field?

- What... the hell just happened? Don’t tell me the Star made herself fall apart in the different colors of the color spectrum and they’ll need to gather all of them in the stupid star-shaped box!

- Twinkly is back on Lumenia? Did we really need her back? And why is the star-shaped box chasing her?

- If I were Sky, I probably would be scared to tell Bloom that it is Diaspro texting. She can have terrible reactions to just the thought of Diaspro. Though, to be fair I have no idea why Sky keeps speaking to Diaspro. He has every right to just cut her off completely after what she did in seasons 3 and 6.

- Brandon, you know very well who Diaspro is! And no, I don’t care that they are giving a really crashing crash course to the new audience. This is terrible! Also, you have to love how Sky didn’t even think about calling Erendor to ask about the mission. He just took Diaspro’s word for it. Because she is sooooo trustworthy.

- I was almost right. Instead of colors they are going to be collecting Prime Stars instead. I still got the right idea, though. It is a bit... lame.

- Enchantix looks a lot less elegant and a lot more... second-hand fabric sewn together poorly. Also, I hate the fact that they had the transformation song from the first movie and not the original. And they basically used the same sequence as the one for Sirenix but they are only popping their Enchantix on instead.

- “I didn’t think it would be so easy.” Same! Finding that Compass was the easiest thing ever and it doesn’t matter that things will get heated now that the Trix are here because the Compass didn’t pose a challenge of its own.

8x15:

- I am living for the dramatic opening of this episode.

- Why aren’t the rest of Winx covering Bloom so that she can grab the Compass? Five against the Trix should be enough for her to take it.

- Really? You can’t figure out who freed them? I love that they told Bloom to ask herself. That was great!

- I was getting excited that Valtor showed up but it was just an illusion of Darcy’s. Anyway, the question that came to me involves the Trix as well so... How come they followed Winx in the box since Winx needed to use Enchantix to miniaturize?

- So it turns out that it wouldn’t have been so easy to take the Compass even though it looked that way in the beginning.

-Tecna!!!!!!!!!!!! What Musa is hearing is the key to getting the Compass, you idiot! It is important and not something to leave for later!

- They’re just gonna chase after it without paying attention to what the voice told them? Fucking amazing! And Bloom is sending her Dragon after it? I am so glad that this is not working!

- Lmaooooo @ Layla catching Bloom in a baseball glove. XD

- Why are they so fucking dumb? The whole thing is controlled by the notes Musa heard SINCE IT’S A FUCKING MUSIC BOX, NOT LIKE THERE’S MUCH TO IT! and they just need to figure out the pattern. That’s what they were told. “Only the one who listens” Come on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- I love the spells they’re using, though. They seem to be more creative with their powers here and it is actually interesting enough to distract from their zero comprehension skills and abilities to make deductions.

- Oh, I love the balance thing in the labyrinth! And the Compass hitting Icy on the head was just priceless! But why are you so rude to Stormy, Icy? Don’t be like that.

- Yes, you will make the same mistakes because you are still not FUCKING listening goddammit!!!!!!!!!

- Oh, come on! Don’t tell me Bloom will be the one solving this!

- Good! It was actually Musa that fixed the whole thing. I still cannot make sense of the musical theme of this challenge in-verse but it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be so I’m gonna close my eyes for that.

- Why didn’t they try to capture the Trix or something? They just let them go.

- Arken got this right in no time at all and knew it had been Valtor who had freed the Trix. Why is he the only one thinking?

- Is Valtor really going to try to pit the Trix against each other once again? God, please, tell me that they will not be falling for that this time! It is ridiculous!

- Why would Wizgiz be in a trashcan? And they just destroyed the entire classroom looking for him while I suspect he is actually truly just running late... Yep, got that right.

- Don’t tell me Bloom will see Sky with Diaspro at Red Fountain! He’s supposed to be on a mission, not at school!... Oh, good. He’s not there. But why is Bloom weeping? He is on a secret mission! It may endanger the job, him or anyone that knows anything to reveal details! Can she just not be a baby for 3 seconds?

8x16:

- HE’S ON A MISSION! HE MIGHT BE TIED UP!!!!!!! CHILL FOR A FEW MINUTES!!!

- Diaspro is actually climbing? She could just fly! But I guess they didn’t want to draw her fairy form. Don’t tell me they’re retconning her being a fairy! I will smack someone if that’s true!

- She legit threw herself off the rocks just to make sure Sky wouldn’t text Bloom? Crazy much? What if he hadn’t managed to catch you? Girl, you need some perspective! Sky is so not worth this.

- Griffin looks and sounds horrible. And why the actual hell is she exactly as tall as Faragonda?!?!?!?! She used to be half a head taller!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Disguise? You call that disguise? You changed your goddamn hair color!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And what is worse - IT ACTUALLY FUCKING WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How did Stella not recognize them? You’d think that she will when she is supposed to be such an expert on fashion and makeovers! And this didn’t even have magic involved in it! (they could have changed their hair without magic is what I’m saying)

- Wait, they actually extended the Cosmix song? Is that new or did I just not notice because I’ve been skipping the transformation sequence?

- I LOVE Griffin and Faragonda’s opening! They are both showcasing the fact that they’re opposites and also being the dramatic bitches that they are and I am so here for it! Yes, this is everything I have wanted (if only it could have been in the old art style).

- The plants won’t speak to Flora? I actually like the fact that they have to work all together AND it is not convergence! This is more like it!

- No! I don’t want the Trix fighting because of Valtor again!

- Why is Stormy playing twister? XD But I love the implication that there are different tests given to anyone who enters but they all require teamwork! That is awesome! Just, please, make something good with it!

- I just thought that Winx were really gonna beat the Trix with a lot this time but it turned out they are not paying attention to their colors! This is kinda like the finale of season 2, except it doesn’t feel as dumb for some reason. Maybe because Stella is just as useful as everyone else.

- Another game? I actually like this? There is the need for logic to be applied here.

- I wish the Trix would just stop fighting! Well, it’s just Icy and Darcy. Stormy is being calm and thinking! I honestly thought that their portal would close while they were fighting but it sucked them in instead.

- They’re gonna be having more fun with the spheres again. Just like with the Compass, I have a feeling there is a catch here.

- Wait, what did Darcy do? Weren’t they supposed to work together? How did she figure that out on her own? That didn’t make sense but okay.

- I love how Valtor is actually gonna fuck himself over because he is trying to make the Trix fight but in order to find the Prime Stars they’ll need to collaborate. This is some delicious irony!

- And Winx found it!

- If I were Diaspro, I would actually have a fake map at the very least instead of a heart of me and Sky on the parchment. If he takes one look, he’ll know she’s deceiving him!

8x17:

- They’re having a test about their biggest insecurities in the episode in which they’ll be looking for the Prime Star of Confidence? And why are these things always about Stella? The Gem of Confidence back in season 5 was also on Solaria and she was the one to get it. Also, I am not thrilled about the fact that they will be pushing each star on a single girl from now on since there are six more to get after the first one that they had to get through teamwork.

- Musa’s biggest insecurity is making mistakes? They could have done something that would speak about why she is so unwilling to get back with Riven but no. Instead Bloom’s biggest insecurity is about Sky because of course it is! God forbid she has something else on the brain!

- Why are we doing the Stella and her parents’ divorce again? And in the exact same old way we have already seen it back in seasons 1 through... about 5? Issues evolve! They could have put a new spin on it!

- How is making a dress going to solve this?

- At least Stella asked for help after she figured out she can’t do it on her own! And I always love seeing Tecna and Stella moments! Stella and Musa are good too!

- We’ve seen that dress already. Stella wore it in season 6. Come on, writers!

- Ah, I see. Stella is trying to please both her parents and is not being herself aka not being confident. Fucking fantastic.

- I think Stella and Stromy passed because they were the first ones to do so and the challenge accepted them as contenders. So now they are separated form the rest because they have to handle it on their own.

- Awww, poor Stella! I think that kids of divorced parents are not the only ones that can relate to her problems! This is so heartbreaking!

- I am getting some bad vibes from Stormy over here, though... Oh. No. She actually totally rocked this because she has confidence in herself and her sisters! That was pretty awesome!

- Woooooo, the Trix actually got the second star? And they left with it?! They are actually making this interesting????? I cannot believe it!

- I absolutely love how both Winx and Stella’s parents showed her how much they love her. And Luna and Radius are not fighting! *wipes away tear* Beautiful!

8x18:

- Bloom is so not here. And Palladium really chose her even though she is distracted after Stella would injure herself because she was so eager to do the potion? Fuck you, show!

- Well, he got what was coming for him! XD And Stella got the last word. Yes, I stan that!

- Damn! I’d completely forgotten about Twinkly. And I could have had that continuing but they had to bring her back.

- If Bloom doesn’t lose her shit over the unicorns and finally stops thinking about Sky, I will be so mad. They already gave her the unicorn obsession! They are obliged to put it to good use at the very least!

- Aaaaand cringe! They had to bring back “starsome” as well.

- Oh, god. They really retconned the fact that Diaspro is a fairy, didn’t they? Otherwise, why would they give her a gadget to fly? Also, please, don’t tell me that they’re at the same place that the Winx are.

- Well, the unicorn lumens seem to imply that they’re at the same place that Bloom and the Winx are.

- See? This is why you need an actual fake map instead of just a doodle of you and Sky! Now he found out! Love how it took him a while to grasp the fact that there is no medallion as well. And wasn’t that a pendant the first time they spoke of it?

- I honestly thought he would let the lumens handle Diaspro but he didn’t. I can’t say if I’m disappointed or impressed. Or kinda both.

- At least Winx missed Diaspro and Sky and the drama that would have started. Thank everything sacred!

- So that’s what Twinkly was for. To make sure Winx don’t have to fight the other lumens. But the Trix will probably have to so that will give Winx an advantage. Just don’t tell me this will stretch for over an episode.

- I loved the way Layla was holding Stella bridal style... right until she threw her to the ground. Dammit, Layla! Be a little more patient! You know how Stella is. And you don’t have to risk breaking all her bones!

- Well, what luck that there are exactly six unicorns. I would be a little worried about Stella’s outfit because that is what allows her to travel through space. So what if it doesn’t work when it’s damaged? But damn, they’re really trying to stretch this to take up two episodes! After they retconned Stella already being a cowgirl as we’ve seen in season 1.

- Poor Stella! She has a fear of heights and her unicorn seems to be an asshole for no reason.

- Why are Sky and Diaspro still there? At least Sky is actually not letting her get away with everything just like that this time. But Diaspro’s arguments are stupid.

- THAT’S “him”? A black uni-pegasus? It looks evil but it probably isn’t. *sigh* And why didn’t Sky just fly up when he faced that rock? It would have ended eventually and he could have passed above it!

- Oh, come on! The drama will be in the next episode and that is why they were stretching out this one? W.H.Y?????? Also, how is Sky flying in the synopsis for the next ep if he broke his flying gadget? Don’t tell me he actually gets Diaspro’s and they leave her there to sulk while they go get the star? (That might actually be the one good thing coming out of all this.)

8x19:

- Of course, Bloom would fly right into Diaspro! (Well, Diaspro was screaming for help but still).

- What happened with Sky? The black unicorn was about the blast him into oblivion at the end of the previous episode but now he somehow got away? And how did Diaspro get there as well? He left her on a much smaller rock island.

- Well, of course, the black unicorn isn’t evil even though he’s just been trying to kill two people. Didn’t I tell you so?

- Ah, so Tecna fixed Sky’s gadget. I thought that would be the other option to fix it.

- I was just gonna say that the horn of the black unicorn looked chipped. Poor guy. They actually made it understandable that he was so mad.

- And Bloom is absolutely exploding. I can understand that she would be angry Sky didn’t tell her and hid the truth from her. But that was not what she was mad about. She was mad that he even WENT on the mission which is stupid because, for all she knows, it could totally be an official mission ordered by his father.

- I knew it! I knew the black unicorn would pick Diaspro. Except, I have zero idea why the hell he would do that. Why, after being hurt? Diaspro is not the most polite person and he saw that for himself. Wtf, writers? I could understand it if Diaspro had been like she was in season 2. But this?!?!?!?! And that was just,.. there? Like, there was nothing more to it. Just a loose end. We didn’t even get to see what happened with Diaspro.

- At least Bloom and Sky are actually talking about the hiding things issue. I have to say, though, that I can’t fully support Bloom because Sky is right. She freaks out over just hearing Diaspro’s name which, again, would have been a totally reasonable reaction considering Diaspro brainwashed Sky if they hadn’t COMPLETELY IGNORED THAT FACT AND PRETENDED IT HAD NEVER HAPPENED. Bloom is not mad because of how much Diaspro has hurt them both but because she doesn’t believe Sky will keep choosing her if Diaspro is around. And this is an issue SHE has to work on.

- The Trix are still bickering. But at least they look a lot more competent in this season. But did they all really think that Stormy wouldn’t have her dramatic ass entrance? If I could summon thunderstorms, I definitely would for making my entrance. Just saying.

- Layla’s morphix bubble was so powerful! I love!

- Wait, Sky and Icy will be fighting for the Prime Star while Bloom was left looking at them disappearing after she stopped her own fall like she should be able to do instead of having to be saved despite being able to fly? Wow. This is getting interesting.

- I should have known they would fuck it up! They should have left Sky and Icy to fight it out instead of having Bloom go in there and “trust” Sky to get himself out of a cage that wasn’t even closing in on him? She could have just went after Icy and freed him after she was done. There was no immediate danger for him. There was no reason for their great trust.This scene had so much damn potential and they wasted all of it. Great going!

- Why is there a musical number when the only public is the landscape (okay, and the lumens and unicorns)? This was so unnecessary. We got it that they trust each other now. Stop driving nails in our heads.

8x20:

- Dammit! I thought that they would head to Linphea right after the unicorn realm. But they’re back at Alfea? And since when is Griselda teaching about plants? That was always Palladium’s job! Wtf?!?!?!

- You’d think they already know all of this about plants considering that Butterflix was a GODDAMN NATURE TRANSFORMATION!

- Griselda is cutting them slack because of saving the universe? Yeah, right.

- How long will Stormy keep bragging about getting the Prime Star? They act like that’s the only thing she ever did. Also, why is she so hung up on being the one to bring Valtor the Prime Star? Her test was legit about her standing up to him (which went over too easily considering Valtor is supposed to have control over them since he even put his mark on them but that did not appear in the vision for a second in order to make it actually complex or something).

- Well, Miele looks younger than she used to in season 7 but they didn’t totally reverse her back into a kid. Yet, it’s stupid that they are still having the argument of “this is too dangerous for you” after season 7 and her saving them. Besides, Flora should know damn well that Miele will follow. She always does! It’s like the writers have no idea who Miele is if they aren’t having her following secretly and proving that it is not too dangerous for her to go.

- They can’t use magic in the forest? Come again? This is such bullshit. It has never been the case on Linphea. I hate it.

- Why do they have to do ballet to open a stupid gate? But I love the fact that Darcy made illusions of them to perform the dance and let the Trix pass as well. She was using her head. And her magic in a really cool way. Plus, it would have been OOC to have the Trix dancing ballet. Can you imagine? XD

- So we’re learning to plant seeds and water flowers? Since when is this one of those shows that are for ages 0-3?

- Is that... a carnivore radish or something? And yeah, Flora, that totally doesn’t look aggressive!

- When is Flora gonna stop treating Miele like she’s three after all the times she’s proven herself (I don’t care if this is a soft reboot)? Though, Miele would have been more convincing if she hadn’t thrown a tantrum and then started crying much like toddlers do.

- Of course, Darcy will use Miele. That was so damn obvious. Love how Miele didn’t even get to transform. Honestly, at this point I am not even sure whether I want Winx or the Trix to get this Prime Star. They’re all being annoying and I don’t care enough for either side to root for their victory.

- Now you’re taking Miele with? When she can’t move? Fucking sound logic!

- Ooh, I guessed that that was actually Darcy disguised as Miele a few seconds before she revealed herself. But if I were Flora, it might have been enough to regain the advantage.

- Darcy just left Miele sleeping out there in the forest? Not that evil. She could have done something much worse.

- What, Layla? Like none of you ever got tricked?

- They are really playing it as if this was Miele’s fault? Man, this season is really starting to waste opportunities which is really annoying because they actually have interesting premises. They just need to do better during the execution.

- At least I hope that Stormy will shut up about recovering a Prime Star now that Darcy has done the same. Ironic how Icy is the only one that hasn’t managed yet. But I suppose that she will also recover one for a 3 on 4 with Winx and a final battle turned cooperation for the usage of the Prime Stars.

8x21:

- At least Griselda is back to self-defense classes. Though, why the hell is she teaching them deflection spells? They should know those already! They had that lesson in season 2! And why are Knut and Kiko assisting her? Kiko has been sidelined with Knut all season! It feels like he’s not Bloom’s bunny anymore!

- Why does this show hate Kiko so much and has him getting hurt all the time? At least Bloom caught him when he got catapulted. But poor Griselda. I have to say that this is her most OOC moment yet. And she even let them go again. She didn’t have to end the entire class, though. She could have kept going with the rest of the students but once again, the world revolves around Winx.

- You want Riven to SHOW his feelings? Which he has been doing ever since he came back so, like, ALL FUCKING SEASON?!?!?!?! WOW. Fuck you, Musa!

- Whyyyy did they think the Trix wouldn’t show up on Melody? But I am glad we skipped the obligatory Valtor scene because it is unnecessary.

- Galatea doesn’t look too much like herself.

- Bullshit. Stella made them much better outfits when they went to Magix in season 3. And there were other designs that were better than these that, frankly, look pretty bland.

- Sooooo... Musa, the fairy of music, isn’t going to be in the dance competition? Are they trying to level up things? And are you seriously telling me that the Trix are going to dance? Ugh, what the hell?!

- Awwwww, look at Riven! He really wants to try and he is even opening up to the guys about his relationship problems. I love it! Idk what Musa’s stupid problem is.

- This dance competition is so dead. You can only hear Galatea. The public isn’t cheering. But aww, at Bloom catching Stella when she got yeeted off the dance floor. That was really cute.

- I guess competitiveness can make even the Trix dance. It doesn’t change the fact that the competition is still fucking dead! And their dancing feels so arhythmical and slow. The music is fucking dull and practically non-existent.

- Ho-boe doesn’t feel like himself either. And doesn’t the house look so different as well? Also, did they ever do anything that doesn’t involve music? I know they’re a musical family but they must have done something else as well!

- Tecna is killing it! But Stormy’s abundance of energy seems to give her a big advantage here. Though, I still love how confident Tecna was! I have to say that this would have been absolutely epic if the music had been intense enough to match their moves. Why did they have to do these scenes so dirty by barely having any tune to them?! If I’m watching a dance competition, I want it to be good!

- Musa and her dad are talking about Riven? And there is a Riven and Darcy confrontation?!?!?!

- Scratch that! They fucked it up in 0.3 seconds! Are you serious? This is literally Riven and Darcy’s first meeting ever since they broke up in season 1 and THIS is how it goes?! She hypnotizes him to use against Musa?!?!?! I hate this! At least let this be the end of their stupid drama.

- Why did the synopsis of the next episode instantly spoil that Stormy will win the fifth Prime Star? You just revealed all the surprise there will be next ep! Man, they really don’t know how to advertise, do they? Also, this dance battle is really stretching over two episodes?

8x22:

- Now all I wanna do is write a fic in which Darcy gets really violent and there are heavy consequences after Riven’s fight with Musa.

- Wait! “...rough and soothing combine artfully and that perfect sound will yield the Star of Harmony”? And the harp that Ho-Boe says needs to be played by two people? That’s gonna be Musa and Riven, isn’t it? And they’ll get the star which will be the twist and that is why they spoiled Stormy wins in the teaser at the end of the last episode.

- Thank you, Musa! It took you long enough! He is so obviously spelled. Though, I kinda love how Darcy was there like “You can’t resist”. This could be so dark if it weren’t a kids show. And now I wanna write it!

- Dammit, Musa! You have your stupid Enchantix in this season! Use your goddamn fairy dust! Or any other kind of magic! And you’re really so damn surprised that it is Darcy?! It was obvious!

- That was the big idea? That Riven is “finally” proving his feelings by refusing to hurt her? Gee. And that’s how the battle between Riven and Musa and Darcy is going to go down? With some stupid formless monsters?

- Well, of course, Bloom beat Icy. But I suspect that Layla is gonna lose against Stormy so it doesn’t matter much.

- You’re now starting to get used to fighting alongside Riven even though he’s been gone a year and they were together for 4 years before that and fought together for about 5-6 years? Really? And that was the big battle with Darcy? They all had about 3 movements!

- Why is Bloom still in this? They should have given us Layla vs Stormy! We know Layla is the best at dancing (or tied with Musa).

- Why doesn’t Ho-Boe know how they met? They used to date for years before Riven left!

- When have you ever felt harmony in your relationship, Riven? Don’t start lying now! And why does he know how to play the harp? I saw this coming but it still kinda doesn’t make sense!

- Finally! The Layla vs Stormy dancing duel we deserved! And the music is more lively now! At last!

- Oh, come on! That’s how Stormy beat Layla?! By distracting her?!?!?! I wanted it to be a fair fight. And why the hell is there goo or jello or whatever falling on Layla? This is terrible. You wouldn’t catch me taking part in that dancing contest. Not to mention that they competed in vain. Although, it was a nice touch to have them misinterpret the riddle.

- Okay, but Riven is definitely not the rough part in that “rough and soothing” combo. He has been nothing but amazing all season while Musa has been pouting and whining!

- The sad thing is that the Trix would have gotten the star if Stormy hadn’t blabbed to Layla where Darcy was. But her cheating came back to bite her in the ass.

- It would have been nice if Musa had saved Riven instead of having Bloom melt him.

- Oh, Riven is a part of the band now? But seriously, will we ever see them talking? Like, actually communicating which is always where their problems lie? Of course not. Why would that be important?

- They’re really saying that Layla is more impulsive than Bloom? Yeah, fuck that big time! Also, don’t tell me that the last star will be obtained by all six Winx again and that is why they will be combining Tecna and Layla in the next ep. Or even worse - by Winx and the Trix together.

8x23:

- “An ounce more or less won’t matter”? That is so not like Layla! It is more like Stella and even Bloom! What the hell? I hate what they’re doing just to set up their stupid conflict for this episode!

- Okay, that shot with the Trix sitting all over Valtor’s throne was pretty cool! And I actually like the fact that he is not exploding at them about the fact that their last mission failed. That was a nice change of pace! Also, digging Darcy and Stormy taking over the throne and the way Valtor is collecting the Prime Stars when he doesn’t have the box. It is... symbolic.

- Be my guest, Flora, and get between Stella and her tanning!

- Reasonable question, Stella! I was also gonna ask why the hell there are corals on dry land. And the Compass is going all crazy.

- Oh, goodie! Hawaiian lumens. In case we’d forgotten about the first half of the season. Which I honestly had.

- Bloom, you really have no other choice but to split up because Tecna and Layla will kill each other otherwise. And yes, Stella sure doesn’t sound distracted now. Only panicky and possibly on the verge of becoming hysterical over the volcano.

- You mean, this isn’t Valtor creating the lava gollems? At least it’s implied that there is one for each girl so the split-up doesn’t put them at a disadvantage.

- Poor Stella, being used as bait. And they just made more of the monsters. I guess her shining personality is not going to be enough to spare the others the notice.

- Did Valtor actually say “boo”? Wow, okay.

- How is a shell the symmetry between light and shadow? It is on the land and not halfway between land and sea! This was absolute bullshit! Meanwhile, Stella and Bloom are getting overwhelmed back there at the volcano against six opponents!

- Valtor cut in just in time! I thought his presence would have been useless. But he upgraded to adapt to his “inability” to touch the Prime Stars even though the source of his magic is literally stars in this season!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just cannot even anymore.

- Yeah, and this bullshit choice again between two things that are important. We’re using this for the third time in ten episodes! Really need to come up with something else over here.

- And we didn’t even see Bloom and Stella really do anything. This episode is put together in a horrible way. Plus, how the fuck are you getting in a volcano that is already erupting! I would have loved for Bloom to use her Dragon Fire here because at least that would have made sense instead of this bullshit we got!

- At least we got that cute Layla and Tecna hug!

8x24:

- Tecna turning into a sheep seemed OOC. And Flora choosing a tiger? Why didn’t she just stop chasing after “Stella” when she saw she was scaring the poor thing? That was unnecessary.

- Stella skipped classes to write homework? And why the hell did Wizgiz give everyone homework when it was obvious that they didn’t know about Stella’s deception?

- Icy could have played that *dramatic pause* cooler. She was being obviously panicky about going to Diamond. She’s better at pretending than this. And her keeping a crystal flower? Waaaay OOC. I don’t care if it is about her dead/lost sister which they totally pulled out of nowhere to make her “relatable”.

- Shouldn’t Sky have asked if he can come along instead of just tail them? He can help resolve things faster... or he can become the reason for their defeat.

- The architecture on Diamond looks kinda... Russian (which would make sense if they’re trying to parallel Siberia with the frozen land). But I am dying at the idea of Icy being Russian. XD

- What trees, Bloom? Where did you see trees? Everything is deep frozen!

- Don’t tell me that fox is Icy’s sister. That will be too dumb.

- Well, of course Bloom doesn’t like Icy’s home planet. How could she? That would have been too mature a notion for the writers. After all, she must hate everything icy.

- What temper? That fox has legit not done anything. Also, it has got to have something to do with Icy. Look at its eyes! And now Icy is attacking Stormy because of it?

- Aaaaand now we’re getting a flashback. You have to love how they made it look like Icy is the little sister when she’s not, And I hate how they made her younger and “untainted” self so different! Like, dammit, a tragic backstory does change you but you need to keep something from your core personality! She is being a totally different person and this totally came out of nowhere! I hate it!

- Took Sky long enough to catch up. Why is he the one saving the fox? And Icy totally went nuts here. This is more like her but still... the dissonance between season 1 and this... Why?

- I knew he was gonna fuck up this whole thing.

- Damn, the fox is looking so lovingly at Icy. It might as well be her sister. But it may just be one of those foxes we saw that isn’t aging because of the ice that appears to be magical. I still can’t decide what they’re doing here.

- Why the fuck do they need Sirenix? But I have to say that Crystal Sirenix (which they totally just made up here because that was never actually a thing and would have been nice to have been mentioned when Daphne was using elemental magic in season 6 since she is the Nymph of Sirenix) looks better than ordinary Sirenix. Except for the... capes? The animators need to consult Edna Mode!

8x25:

- Sky is actually fine? Well, in the very real danger of drowning but still fine-r than I thought he would be. Sky, think about yourself. Bloom is not the one that is this fucking close to dying!

- Aaaaand... she saved him. He wasn’t even underwater that long! Why wasn’t he waking up?! Man, the Dragon Fire healing is getting annoying.

- Yes, spend time together while putting yourself in mortal danger. Sounds like fun times! You can even be buried together!

- Sky is supposed to be a Specialist aka capable of handling himself. And how many times is Tecna gonna be fixing his gear? Though, I am at least glad that Icy’s first instinct was to damage his flying gadget.

- So the fox is her sister. Fucking great! Why are they alone and talking about leaving? Where the fuck are their parents? Also, how does that fit in with the fact that the Trix are descendants of the Ancestral Witches?

- Firing all my thoughts here at high velocity: Who the fuck is that? We don’t get a name? Fucking splendid! Why is Sapphire still transformed? Icy is super powerful at this point and if the Shaman Witch is so powerful, why the hell hasn’t she conquered any other realm? Why does she need a whole planet that is completely frozen? Where is she now? What the fuck is up with all of this? And what happened to Icy’s mother? Was Icy a witch all along? Her being so “obedient” in that flashback is so totes OOC. I hate all of this. And we didn’t need the parallel between Bloom and Icy.

- Icy saying that the Trix are “friends maybe” and the the only real sister she has is Sapphire? Worst moment of the whole season! How fucking dare you?! I never thought that they were related by blood but that didn’t mean that they weren’t sisters!

- Yes, Stormy, tell everyone else (aka Winx) where you are! Or bury all three of you in an avalanche. Such planning! Much consideration!

- Icy, stop being a wimp! Yes, this is all hard but she is not behaving like herself at all! You need to get it together if you want to help your sis, girl! And how do you plan on getting the power to save your sister without the Star to bring to Valtor?

- Why is the Star going in the box? Oh, it’s not. But I hate the implication that only “sisterly” love can get the Star. Icy has been sisters with Darcy and Stormy since season 1 and Winx are all like sisters as well! Fuck that! Also, why is it that this one could have only been earned by two blood sisters? That means that Winx didn’t have the chance to take it at all! This is really stupid!

- The Trix are free now? How did that happen? And Sapphire is back aga- Oh, wait, no! Wtf????? Do they even know what they’re doing anymore? This is becoming such a mess! And why is the finale only one episode long when we wasted two episodes on 3-4 of the Stars? This is stupid!

8x26:

- What the fuck are these things? “Brothers from the Dark Dimension”? What the absolute honest genuine fuck? Why have these things never been introduced if they have always been a part of his plan? What the fuck, writers? You just sent the whole structure of the season to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How was any of this a good decision?!?!?!?!

- The Trix just showed up at Alfea? And Kiko is beating them single-pawed-ly? Why? But I like the idea of the Trix at Alfea.

- Oh, it was actually Winx. This is part of the plan for beating Valtor, isn’t it? Damn, I was just getting hyped that the Trix decided to work with Winx to fix this whole mess and make sure Valtor won’t trap them again once they disobey.

- Is Icy going to give him the star? Oh, no. She wants to challenge him to get the other Stars. Goddammit! But I love how excited Darcy is about getting to explore more of her illusion powers! Also, Icy both being grateful that they’re with her but telling them to save themselves if things get rough? THAT HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stormy was so ready to cry! Ugh, that was so amazing! Almost enough to make up for the bullshit they said about them not being sisters!

- They didn’t feel it? That was like a goddamn earthquake!

- I have a question, though. Why didn’t the Trix try to take on Winx? That implies that Valtor is weaker than Winx. But at least the Winx’ plan is actually pretty good.

- Why isn’t Stella Darcy, Layla Icy and Musa Stormy? They could have covered if they needed to use their powers! Stella could have dimmed the light as if Darcy is using her darkness powers. And the other could have pretended to be Stormy and Icy as well!

- Okay, but Winx’ voices are still the same! Why can’t Valtor tell that it’s not them? He’s literally so not paying attention and they fucked up with the spell because it is incomplete!

- And now the plan went to hell because Bloom decided to crash the party! Great going! So it was all for nothing.

- Now Valtor is back in his demon form? That was a curse his mothers put on him and Bloom destroyed that form in 3x26! But at least the remake looks better than the original!

- Why would Valtor destroy the universe? Where is he gonna go after that? Also, what the fuck? You’re making this Icy’s motivation?!?!?! For helping the Winx?!?!?!?!?!?! THE TRIX LITERALLY WERE ABOUT TO DESTROY THE MAGIC UNIVERSE IN SEASON 1 AND IT WAS THEIR ORIGINAL PLAN! NOW SHE’S LIKE “I WON’T WATCH ANOTHER WORLD GET DESTROYED”???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? FUCK ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Is it only me or does this really remind of 3x25? Because the writers were probably trying to cash in even more nostalgia?

- If they don’t bring Icy’s world back, it will be really stupid because that was why she was even doing any of all this (according to this whole season).

- They wished for a power-up? I’m sorry, a power-up driven by how noble they are? The bullshit is unreal. I cannot even.

- No one cares about all the lumens! They should have given the Trix something for their trouble after all of this bullshit and used the screen time in a better way.

- OH, COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY GET A CONSTELLATION NOW?!?!?!?!? THEY WOULD HAVE NEVER WON WITHOUT THE TRIX WHO WERE LEFT WITH A BIG DAMN ZERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (except for being freed, that is)

- In my book this is the absolute worst finale this show has ever had! It contradicted everything we know about certain characters as well as events from previous seasons, had a theme that sucked completely and had Winx make a seemingly selfless wish that actually seems super shady, gave them glory they do not deserve, introduced a new plot point at the beginning of the very last episode, fucked over the Trix (or at least Icy), did not tie up their loose ends and just completely failed to be thrilling in any way because everything was upside down! I cannot even.

This season started out so well. The first three episodes were extremely promising and had the writers kept their streak, this season could have risen to the levels of the first seasons or even surpassed them. However, things quickly started derailing. First, just lightly and then totally going off the rails. The two halves of the season felt super disconnected, the villain plan sucked, Valtor was destroyed as a character (and as a villain) and the Trix were just... what happened there? The new backstory Icy was given was dreadful because of how much it contradicted what we know about all three of the Trix and it destroyed their sense of unity by obviously placing the narrative emphasis on her not just as the leader but as the one that is most important of the three. The second half got stupider and stupider until it reached a finale that just didn’t logic in any correct way. There was so much wasted potential here that it is unreal. Season 7 had nothing going on but it did not enrage me as much as this one (and especially the last few episodes) because there wasn’t so much absolute waste of perfectly good opportunities. Season 6 retains it’s place as the worst season in my book but the end of season 8 annoyed me enough to make me feel like I could put it over season 7 for worst of the series.

#winx club #winx bloom #winx musa #winx stella #winx flora #winx layla #winx tecna #winx sky #winx riven #bloom x sky #musa x riven #winx diaspro #winx icy #winx darcy #winx stormy #trix #winx valtor #winx faragonda #winx griselda #winx griffin #winx club season 8 #review #thoughts #part 2

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #461

“this city looks so pretty, do you wanna burn it with me?”

Have you ever wanted a Nikon camera? Or do you have one already? My camera before the one I have now was a Nikon D3200. I use a Canon now. Who was the last person (if anyone) you said Happy Birthday to? A friend. Do you have Photoshop? If so, how often a day do you use it? I have it, but I barely use it nowadays. I use it to edit photos for character profiles or profile pictures, add a watermark for my actual photography, and I used to make Mark-oriented gifs like crazy. They mostly did really well, so... I might wanna get back into that and get That Sweet Validation. Do you watch any shows that you know your parents wouldn’t approve of? No. Have any of your exes gotten married or had kids since your breakup? None, I think. Do either of your parents have a mental illness? My mom has depression. Can you tolerate children for a long period of time? NO. Have you ever lived with someone you felt thoroughly uncomfortable around? No. Are you into dubstep? Yeah, I tend to enjoy it. Zelda or The Sims games? Can I pick neither? lol I don't feel very much at all for The Sims, and Zelda games have always looked... boring to me? Like I've watched most of the Game Grumps' playthroughs of all the games, and they make it hilarious of course, but the games themselves? Nah. Are you terrible at assigning bands their proper genre? YES YES YES YES YES YES. Even in my preferred category, that being metal, FUCK if I know the sub-genre. Have you ever made out in a closet? No, that shit sounds claustrophobic as hell. Have you ever been to a laser tag place? Yeah, on a triple-date once! It was SO fun. How do you wanna celebrate your next birthday? Have a couple friends over, pig out at The Cheesecake Factory. o3o Do you tease your parents about them being old? No, especially not Mom. She's self-conscious about getting older. Are you in love with someone? "In love" is a bit too far, buddy. But I love someone. Have you ever ridden a unicycle? No. Have you ever wanted a pet bunny? I was VERY serious about getting a lop-eared bunny for quite a while, but we just couldn't afford to adopt one (even off Craigslist) and get a cage for it, toys, etc. Are the bottom of your feet clean? I HATE seeing the bottom of my feet. Not because they're dirty, but because it's Callus City. I ain't even fuckin jokin'. Do you like really salty food? Yeah. :x When’s the last time you bled a lot? Well, I just recently finished my cycle after not menstruating for three or four MONTHS, so you can figure that one out. Have you ever watched a needle go into your own skin? Yeah. I like to know exactly when it's coming. Have you ever seen someone get a piercing/tattoo? Yes to both. When you’re done eating finger foods, do you usually lick your fingers? Usually kasdjlf;kalsdjf shut up ok I like food. What’s the most racist thing you have ever said? As a little kid, when my really good friend (a neighborhood kid, even) asked if he thought we'd be a good couple, I told him no because "blacks and whites don't date" or something like that. It was an idea I'd never been exposed to before; the idea was so foreign to little kid me. I had no idea I was being racist. It ended in a small fight and we didn't talk for a few days 'til he came to my house telling Mom that he had to "be a man" and fix this and if that ain't the cUTEST SHIT RIGHT THERE. We were friends again after that. He's still on my Facebook, and he actually semi-recently got married! :') Do you know someone that is mute, deaf or blind? No. Have you ever spent more than two weeks in a wheelchair? No. Does weed smell good? Or no? Ugh, no. Where do you see your closest friend in ten years? Successful and happy she kept pushing. Mama to so many reptiles that are blessed with the best lives possible in human care. Got at least one amazing book out there. If she's reading this, you've fucking got this. <3 Would you like to have twins? Mother of fucking god, no. Even if I WANTED kids, do fucking not give me twins. Who was the last person you got into an argument with? My mom. Want to have kids before you’re 30? Once again, I don't want kids, but IF I did, that'd be preferable before the risk of birth defects and other issues climb with age. Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? My older sister has my initial. Do you think somebody’s in love with you? No. Do you think you and your best friend will be friends in ten years? Yes, I genuinely do. Who were the last people to hang out at your house? Miss Tobey, our friend and landlord. Does anyone like you? Welp... I hope he still does. Guess we'll figure that out soon. What person on your Facebook do you talk to the most? VIA Facebook? Probably my friend Lyndsey. She likes to comment on stuff I share. Do you want to fall in love? I do, but I'm also utterly horrified to and risk being hurt again. Are you interested in more than one person at the moment? No. Once I realized I was so deeply into Girt, all other romantic feelings kinda just... poofed. How was your last break up? Civil and done with both of our best interests in mind. What is the hardest thing you’ve ever had to say? Probably the first time I admitted I needed to go to the hospital for suicidal thoughts. I was so, so scared of what it was going to be like. What is the hardest thing you NEEDED to hear? That if Jason wasn't happy with me, he had every right to move on. She was right. Do you treat yourself well? No... but I'm trying to change that. What was the last song you sang out loud to? This "Set Fire to the Rain" cover. Do you take good pictures? I think I do? Have you ever done any internship? No. What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? Holy shit, so much, especially when it comes to morality and political stances. I am now a massive supporter and member of the LGBTQ+ community, I'm pro-trans rights, pro-choice... I've done like a dozen 180s in a lot of topics. Do you know anyone who has a PhD? I mean, some doctors, but no one in my truly personal life. Do you know anyone who works as a lawyer? Yes: my cousin. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? LAKSDJFKLA;JWD NEVER AND I PRAY TO THE HOLY LORD THAT I NEVER DO. Does the thought of having wrinkles when you’re older upset you? Not massively? Like literally everyone gets them and is natural and inevitable. Do you know anyone who’s struggling with addiction? I know one alcoholic, and one that's probably borderline. I also have two friends who are extremely addicted to weed. Look me in the eyes and say it's not an addictive substance and I wouldn't believe you one bit. Is there a video or computer game that you can get lost in for hours? Eh, sometimes World of Warcraft. Some days I'm really into it, and others I barely touch it. What’s your favorite Disney Channel movie? I have no clue. I don't even remember movies that were made *for* Disney exclusively. Do you ever have to do yard work? No. We have a friend from the dance studio mow the lawn. Do you have any live versions of songs in your music software? My iPod has a whole live album of Ozzy. Did you or do you listen to Britney Spears songs? Both did and do. Britney is a boss bitch. Does your favorite band have a male or female lead singer? Male. Have you seen the movie Moulin Rouge? No, but I've seen some of that P!nk music video of the song and it brings out the Gay in me. Do you have a key to anything besides your house? No. Could you ever complete a 500-piece puzzle? I've done that before. I miss doing puzzles... Have you ever been to any sort of convention? I went to a reptile expo with Sara!! I REALLY want to go to another when my legs are stronger and can handle standing and walking so much. Is your mom or dad the older parent? Mom. Have you ever tried to walk on a moving vehicle and fallen over? No????? What is your favourite kind of bread? Is there any of that in your house? Pumpernickel. No. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? I played the flute all through middle school and I wanna say half of HS. Have you ever ordered an unusual drink at a bar? Never even been to one. Have you ever been pulled aside by security at the airport? I think once for some reason I don't recall? What is your favourite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times) Gingerbread men, probs. Or chocolate bunnies!!! :') How do you feel right now? My stomach is KILLING me. I'm super excited though that Girt is coming over tomorrow. Have you ever had surgery that kept you in the hospital for over a day? No. What would you like your generation to change? How we treat nature. Is there anyone that you truly could not live without? No. I learned that is a very unhealthy mentality to have. Do you like carrots more if they’re raw, or cooked? I just hate carrots. What restaurant did you last go out to dinner at with friends? With friends? I couldn't even guess. Does your refrigerator have an ice maker or do you use ice cube trays? It has an ice maker. Do you have a favorite sibling, if any? No; I love them all. Do you have a favorite brand of clothing? I STAN CLOAK. How’s the love life? Something new might start tomorrow. I think it will. Do you watch the news? No; that shit is depressing. Who do you admire most? Mark. Do you have a favorite album? Black Rain by Ozzy Osbourne takes the cake and always will.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''city'' by hollywood undead

[toxicxxmyth]

Dating Richard Camacho headcanon

Authors Note: This all over the place lmao so bear with me. I also got a little carried away oops.

Y’all prolly met at the club or a house party tbh(like almost every other Richard fic :’)

And you were there looking bomb as ever ;)

And he was there looking fine as ever ;)

And you were just in a corner talking to a few friends when he sat beside you

At first it wasn’t a big deal bc it’s a couch..hello

But when y’all got a good look at each other’s faces under the smoke and blue laser lights

Y’all were like

:0

So that’s how you met, lol

It might’ve taken a long time for you guys to actually start dating

With him being so private and secure when it comes to relationships

And you having bad experience with relationships

You guys took it slow, yet you both considered each other as your s/o even if you guys haven’t even shared a kiss

And after, let’s say, four months, y’all started dating

Anyway

Starting now with and actual headcanon

My boy’s hands are on you 24/7

Your hips, waist and ass are his hand holders

Literally cannot get enough of you

If you’re cooking you can bet your ass he’s wrapping his arms around you(or just unpacking takeout if you don’t cook)

Squishing you into his buff chest with his strong arms :’) whatta dream

Even in public his hands are wrapped tightly or losely around your waist, 0 fucks given at the pictures people take or the stares

He’s you number one support and judge

Perfect candidate to take to the mall when you want to buy some clothes or whatever

This is one horny ass man(but y’all knew that already)

Anything you wore he’d just melt and start making Inappropriate jokes

“How’s this one” you’d mutter mostly to yourself as you examined the dress

“It’s great ma, it look even better on the floor tho” He’d chuckle darkly

But your just like

“guess I’ll fuck him in the dressing room ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “

Sometimes you have those down moments where you basically just hate yourself(terrible fucking feeling m8)

BUT RICHARD IS HAVING NONE OF THAT

I feel like he’d cancel EVERYTHING he has on his schedule and clean the whole house and set up the cutest fort and puts on a shit ton of Disney movies and snacks for you

He takes his time leaving soft and gentle kisses all over your body, starting from the top of your head to the tip of your toes, whispering sweet nothings in your ear before lazily clicking play on the little mermaid

He could barely focus on the movie

His hands would be draped lazily over your stomach squeezing the soft skin(making you uwu)and his head buried in the crook of your neck, giving you innocent kisses

A wide smile permanent on your face

You’d order some take out and just drink some red wine as he worships your body in the most innocent ways possible to the dirtiest ways

This dude is the dream boyfriend once he’s met the one honestly

and vice versa

Every time he feels down(which isn’t a rare thing) you’d be there.

His head would be against your chest as you softly massage his scalp, lips pressed against his forehead and you whispered all the things you love about him and all the good qualities that he has

MELTING IS WHAT THIS BOY IS DOING ON THE INSIDE

MELTING

Anywhore, moving on

it took Richard 6 months for him to introduce you to Aaliyah bc he wanted to make sure that you were actually serious

Which is completely understandable

He was so nervous bc like

whAT if you don’t want that big of a commitment??

Or what if Aaliyah doesn’t like you???

His worst nightmare is both his baby girls not getting along

Literally had to take a moment alone so he could recompose himself

He wouldn’t know what hell to do if both the loves of his life dont get along

But let’s be honest

He was stressing for nothing

You guys ended up loving each other

It took Aaliyah a few minutes to open up due to her shyness

But y’all ended up being the best of friends

And Richards heart just meLTED

You ended up befriending Yocelyn too

And Richards all like :0

If you weren’t confident before you met him, then he really did boost your confidence up little by little

Starting with random messages throughout the day

Some sweet other explicit ;)

Would take so many pictures and videos of you just so you could see how pretty you are

And if you were already confident(which we all should be :’)

Y’all would take some bomb ass pictures together

Like them cute ass insta couples

Will make such cute and inappropriate comments under your posts

Making many fans gush and hollar

Ugh, goals man, literal goals

Most fans don’t take the news well

Hate comment after hate comment

But you know what?

Y’all prolly fucking too hard to pay attention

This man is a sex God(I have no proof but I have no doubts either)

Y’all caNNOT change my mind

Pull out game weak(sorry lol)

But goOD THING YOU’RE ON THE PILL!!

This one kinky motherfucker istg

From bondage to breeding to choking to ooff I need a shower

Will take you anywhere in the house

The couch? check

Kitchen? check

Guest room? check

I want to say that he’s into public sex but I doubt it, like he’d think it’s hot but he wouldn’t want to risk anything

LUCKILY YOU’RE THERE TO PUSH HIS BUTTONS!!! ;)))))

Lazy make out sessions are a common thing

Lots of booty grabbing

My man loves that booty

You get along perfectly with the guys

Even though at first all of you were a bit iffy

Because

“Oh shit, new girl and she isn’t a one night stand :0”

But after like a week maybe, all of you started getting more comfortable

Maybe a little too comfortable which had Richard seeing red

I mean

He’d love the fact that everyone was getting along

BUT THERES BOUNDARIES !!

Ooff did I mention that he’s super protective with a tad bit of possessiveness

Not enough to be considered dangerous or unhealthy but enough to irritate you

“Like back tf up bruh I can protect myself”

And he’s all like

:0

You could be at the club, dancing and having the time of your life and some guy just creeps up behind you

And Richards got this murderous look on his face that even scared you

But let’s not lie, mad Richard is a sexy Richard

Y’all have some bomb sex after but then a deep conversation about your faithfulness to each other

Speaking of conversations

It’s 2:49am and y’all talking bout raiding Area 51 or some shit

You’re both drunk off sleep that you just go deep in thought

Or it could be 11:11pm and you guys are just confessing your love for one another

Singing his songs while you clean around the house or catch up on your work

And his just staring at you with the biggest heart eyes

Random slow dances with or without music happens at least one a week

Dates could go from a fancy ass Italian restaurant or a stop at 7/11 and a drive around the streets listening to slow r&b music

You could be gazing up at the stars and he’d try his best to focus on the road instead of your beautiful face

Days away from him suck ass

With him touring and practicing could be hard on both of y’all

But you make it work

Or when he’s finally home and you have to go to uni or work leaves him a bit disappointed

But you’ll do some romantic shit when you or he gets back

THIS MAN WILL SPOIL THE SHIT OUT OF YOU

will surprise you with diamond earrings or necklaces

You end up calling him your sugar daddy jokingly

Speaking of nicknames

Calls you mami more than your name

Like, does he even know your name?

Prolly not(jk)

You’re just mami, baby girl or babe

But you don’t mind whatsoever

Teaching you Spanish)if you already don’t know it) and kissing you every time you get something right

He’s a messy one lady’s

So every time you fight it’s prolly bc of his mess

You end up yelling at him to clean the mess

And he act all offended but does as you says cause he’s a good boy

Literally cried when Aaliyah calls you mommy

But your panicking

Like full on panicking

Like what if Yocelyn comes and drags your ass??

You’re out here worrying while Richard is bawling his eyes out in happiness

None of them have a problem with it thankfully

It just means you’re treating their baby girl right

Now it’s your cue to cry

Damn you love both of them so much

And he loves both of y’all twice as much

OH and meeting your family would be the end of him

His having a full on breakdown once again

His confidence is out the window

Cause what if they don’t accept him bc he’s a dad????

Or bc he’s constantly on the road and not being able to give you all the love and attention you deserve???

That’ll crush him

And Yashua’s prolly making fun of him lowkey

Your dad(or male figure if you don’t have a dad) would intimidate THE SHIT out of him

But once again, after a few minutes or hour

Everyone got along perfectly

Your family ended up loving him and his family ended up loving you just as much

And there’s so much more that could go on with dating Richard but this is all my poor brain could think of

Plus I’m afraid that if I write more tumblr will fuck my shit up like always :’)

Deuces 🤙🏼

#cnco #richard camacho #richard camacho imagine #richard camacho headcanon #richard camacho one shot #cnco imagine #cnco imagines #cnco one shot #cnco headcanon #cnco fanfic #cnco x reader

[queennicoleinboots]

Swamp Ass

A/N: Alternate Reality. Shit just happens.

It was yet another 80 degree-Fahrenheit day in Georgia. But 80 degrees is not 80 degrees in Georgia. It's really closer to 100 degrees when you factor in humidity and radiation from cell phone towers. I was sweating (and eating) like a pig.

My husband, Joebear, was growling because his butt was sweating. He hated having swamp ass. So he turned on the air conditioner. He also had a fan blowing in his face. The bear needed to be cool in order to not go bear shit on the world.

Speaking of bears, Colonel Mac, a gray bear, was riding over swamp land in his power wheelchair. His wheels were getting stuck in the swamp bog, so he kept having to ride one foot forward and two feet back. He was also grumbling about having a swamp ass because it was sweating in the chair. Clearly, he was having a fucked-up day.

Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing also had a terrible case of swamp ass. He was taking a huge shit on some documents he needed to get rid of because his shredder stopped working. His angry brown bear wife named Megara thought his swamp ass was being put to good use. She had swamp ass, too.

I also had swamp ass. I was sitting under a tree in the swamp and eating vegetable soup and chocolate. I was also waiting on my husband's meatloaf to finish cooking so I could eat that. It had swamp ass, too.

Paul the Goat was trying to mow the swamp with his lawn mower because he was sick of the bog. His lawn mower broke. He started bleating with a deep voice and beating the hell out of the lawn mower. Apparently, he would scratch his butt every now and then. He lacked air conditioner and hot water. He had a case of swamp ass, too.

Hollywood, his horse that joined the Secret American Society of Sexually Frustrated Goats literally a second ago, also just took a sloppy, green dump on the lawn mower. His leg was in severe pain and needed an X-ray specifically done by a sexually frustrated goat veterinarian. Hollywood also had swamp ass.

Joebear realized that he could smell the horse shit. He sniffed the air and asked, "Whoa! What the fuck is that bullshit smell?" He squinched his nose and looked around to see Paul the Goat peeing on the lawn mower to rinse the horse shit off of it. The smell of the piss and shit was being caught in the fan. "Oh my God I'm braindead!" Joebear turned off the fan and stuck his head in the computer screen. "Actually braindead." Joebear scratched his head. He laughed. "That's fucked up. That's very much fucked up. And sometimes I wonder why I'm fucked up."

I laughed at my husband and said, "I'm sorry, bae. I'm fucked up."

Colonel Mac ran into a tree when he was backing up. The tree was moist and left a wet streak on Colonel Mac's back. "What the fuck is wrong with this tree?!" he screamed as he went forward and looked behind him as he shook his fist at the tree. "DOES IT NEED A MASSAGE?!" Even the tree had swamp ass.

"Apparently," I said. "I need a forehead massage to deal with all of this swamp ass!" I started to massage my own forehead.

"OH MY GOD!!!!!! FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!!!!" Joebear screamed at his computer. Apparently, it had swamp ass, too.

Colonel Mac tried to ride over to me before the damn wheelchair got caught on a fuckass tree root and sent him flying toward me. "HOLY SHIT!" he yelled in a strong Southern accent.

"All right. Time to get around this guy's dumb shit. Mother fucker!" Joebear growled as he referred to the tree with swamp ass and glared at his computer screen.

"I managed to get around the guy's dumb shit!" Colonel Mac screamed as his body ended up going through my forehead at Ludacris speed. He went physically through a tree before screaming as he landed right between Joebear and me. Then, Colonel Mac got up and started dancing a gig to the Chicken Dance song.

"Goddammit fucking horse!" Joebear screamed before Hollywood ran his bear ass over. The horse then kicked the shit out of the oven where the meatloaf was. "Ugh. Calm that shit down!" Joebear rolled over and growled.

Colonel Mac farted as he danced. Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing farted as he ate a piece of a chicken. I farted as my ass was now foggy bottom.

The oven threw out the meatloaf and flew into Joebear's bear ass. "Just random kids! Why are they writing stories about my dinner going in my ass? Let's get rid of this dumb shit." On that note, Joebear took a shit. He also cussed out Black Desert Online and Magic the Gathering as he played them on his computer. He tried to play League of Legends, but he kept getting matches where he was 4 versus 5.

Colonel Mac also took this moment to take a shit to finish the dance. His ass was now a swamp. His shit literally consumed all of us. Now we were located in Swamp Ass Mac in Logantown, Georgia. This man hugged everyone as dudes do. No homo. No gay shit.

Skipjacks were swimming around in Mac's shit. Peter, my curly-haired jerk ex-client with green eyes, was sitting on a toilet that was on top of a shit wave that crashed near us.

Peter growled. "Dammit! Over a year later, and it happened again. Explosive diarrhea. Fuck me. I'm a zombie who has been radiated by nearby cell phone towers. OH AND I HAVE COVID-19!" he screamed as he remained on the toilet.

Joebear ate a piece of meatloaf before looking at him. "Dude, you're fucked up."

"Oh God. My long lost cousin's sister's brother's former college roommate almost had Covid a month ago. You're the first asshole who has it this month," Colonel Mac said. "Something tells me you're a swamp asshole."

"WHO IS HE TO YOU?!" Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing sang randomly.

"Absolutely nobody," Colonel Mac said with a hearty laugh.

"What was the point of mentioning it then?" Megara asked as she threw her left hip to the side.

"The son'a bitch was a Democrat!" Colonel Mac said with a snort laugh.

"Really? I heard almost all Democrats had it," Peter said as he blinked.

"Yep. Only liberals have it," I said as I poked his right shoulder repeatedly.

"Oh fuck you, Xara!" Peter said as he rolled his eyes and poked me repeatedly. "Everything's political with you!"

Joebear ate a fish that was in Peter's shit wave. "What am I going to do about my balls?"

"I don't know, bae. You have swamp balls," I said.

"Swamp balls? What the fuck are those?" Joebear asked.

"They're like swamp ass. You have sweaty balls," I said.

Joebear stared at me with his bear brown eyes. "... Girl. You fucked up," he said.

Colonel Mac growled in agreement.

A random song from the 80s, "Hi! ho! Let's Go!" started playing in the swamp.

"Shut the. Fuck. Up. Shut the. Fuck. Up," Joebear sang along. "Let's stick our dicks in a blender and see what happens."

I laughed so hard I had a headache.

"Why not? I can't have sex when I have Covid. Might as well stick my dick in a blender and feed it to these fish," Peter said with a shrug.

The skipjacks immediately began to swirl around Peter while making goofy noises. They were hungry. And they had swamp ass.

"Fuck off. I was being facetious. And it's a fucking oven out here! It's almost as bad as when my old Ford Lincoln had no AC. Thank God that fucking car caught on fire," Peter spoke.

"That's nothing. I abuse my dick three times a day and have sex. And fuck that car indeed," Joebear said as he growled and started masturbating.

Paul the Goat bleated and had to excuse himself.

"There are too many penises and swamp asses in this story!" Colonel Mac shouted. "This is gay!"

Joebear growled loudly and realized that Colonel Mac was correct. "You're right, dude. I need sex!" Joebear screamed.

Everyone bleated except me. I was eating more vegetables. I needed to shower. I had swamp ass.

"Bae Whuhhh!!! Let me eat! Let me shower!" I shouted happily as I ate.

"Hurry up. I need to release seed. In fact, I need to eat, too. I am going to eat a sandwich!"

So Joebear took his sandwich and remaining piece of meatloaf and went in the woods to await me.

Colonel Mac tried to get out of this story, but he managed to tweak his right knee. "Oh fuck! I can't even get out of this sausage fest story! I'm fucked. Sigh!" he complained as his right leg was completely consumed by the swamp. It had swamp ass.

"Story of my life," Peter said with a giggle. "You would positively DIE if you knew half of the horrible shit I'VE gone through. Especially in the last three years. Holy Shit being around Xara is a curse!"

I giggled and ate the last bite of soup. Then, I walked over to fish out Colonel Mac's leg from swamp ass and patted his knee. "I'll give you the transcripts," I said to Colonel Mac as I poked the knee once.

"Feels good," Colonel Mac said. "Okay. Send the transcripts."

"Fuck you," Peter said as he folded his arms over his chest and glared at me with menacing green eyes.

"Haha. You're a dick, Peter," I said as I left the swamp.

Ted the Alligator then drained the swamp. Peter was going down a toilet while he remained on the toilet. Colonel Mac also was flushed down the toilet. Paul the Goat bleated, and Hollywood winnied as they were also flushed down Swamp Ass Mac's drain. Bruce the Ace of Brake-fixing randomly sang in opera, "SWAMP ASS!!! MY ASS PASSES GAS" as the end credits to this story.

[aliensforleaders]

Tell Me Again Tomorrow: Part 3

Pairing: Rami Malek x Female Reader

Warnings: Swearing, Alcohol, and oh boy is there smut. Like seriously, y’all ain’t ready for the Sin that is in this chapter. I think I actually needed a water break and to turn on my fan while writing this.

A/N: So this is the final part to this little series. I seriously appreciate all the love I’ve gotten for this. It’s really inspired me to write more so keep an eye out for that. Smut is also a bit difficult for me to write so sorry if it’s terrible lol. Also this chapter was heavily influenced by the Glass Animals album Zaba. If you enjoy emersion like I do, I suggest you listen to it while reading this because it slaps, my guy. Anyways get on with it then and enjoy!

And below is the dress the reader wears to the party.

I woke up the next day, this time after Alisha. She was sitting against her headboard on her phone.

“Oh good you're awake.” she said looking over at me rubbing my eyes.

“Yeah. What’s up?” I said sleepily.

“So much. Okay, okay so listen.” she scooted to the edge of her bed and crossed her legs, facing me.”

I propped myself up against the pillows behind me in preparation for what she was going to spring on me now.

“So today is Sunday. Which means it’s the last day of this birthday weekend, right? So that means there’s a huge party tonight down at the beach.” she bit her lip, grinning wide.

I stared off into space looking slightly confused. “Okay…? What are you getting at?”

“UGH! You are so dense sometimes!” she covered her face with her hands and laughed.

“(Y/N), the guy. This mysterious, wonderful guy you met on Friday? This is the perfect opportunity to get him all hot and bothered. We are going shopping today for something to wear for you. You have the perfect lack of chest to pull off the lowest v-neck dress we can find.”

I smirked at her somewhat back handed compliment. I mean I wouldn’t mind getting him looking somewhere else for a while.

“You know what, fuck it. Let’s do it.”

Alisha squealed and jumped into bed with me, throwing her arms around my neck.

“I need to meet this guy and figure out what’s got you so eager to do this. I was expecting a little push back to be honest.”

I sighed loudly, “Oh I don’t know. But I do know that I didn’t want to come here in the first place, and I’m so glad I did. I’m going to start doing things I wouldn’t normally do from now on.”

“Fucking finally! Join me on the dark side,” she lowered her head and rubbed her hands together, “we have dick and tequila!”

“You’re outrageous, you know that right? I need to know that you know that.” I giggled at her.

“No other way to live, baby.” she winked at me.

———

After a long day of visiting store, after store, we finally found the dress.

“Oo I don’t know about this, Lish. It’s so short.” I called to her from behind the dressing room curtain.

“Come on, let me see it. You can be a prude sometimes remember?” she called back.

I pulled back the curtain and stepped out. The dress was fairly thin and flowy, which I loved. It had cut outs on the sides that wrapped around the back and the neckline was very low. I didn’t need a bra with it because of how small my chest is. The bottom reached just above mid thigh and it was a sort of dusty rose color.

“WOW.” Alisha gasped. “Girl listen, if we weren’t like best friends…and I didn’t think of you as a sister…”

“Ah, ah! Okay I get it.” I laughed and turned back around to the mirror.

She was right though. I looked hot. I felt hot. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this good about myself. I twirled a little from side to side, looking at my long tan legs and my almost completely exposed chest. A long necklace would look great with this, maybe two.

So I bought the dress and we left the store, heading back to the hotel to get ready. As Alisha and I applied our makeup in the bathroom, my heart began to race and for the first time in years it was excitement and not a panic attack. Too real, I know. I applied some lip gloss and fluffed up my hair that I had decided to leave down and messy. It fell just above my shoulders, letting the dress do the rest of the work.

“Fuck.” I sighed.

“What? God I’m almost mad at how good you look.” she laughed incredulously as she applied mascara.

“Oh hush..I do though huh?” I gestured towards my body and Alisha shoved me playfully.

I walked out to the main room and sat on my bed, grabbing my phone. My heart began racing again when I tapped on my conversation with Rami, accompanied by the cute picture I took of him at the museum as his contact photo.

You: Hey! so please tell me you are going to this party tonight?

Rami: hi:) actually yeah I am. Sami is making me.. but I’m glad you’ll be there

Oh you just wait. I’ll be there alright.

You: yep! thanks to Alisha lol. I’ll see you soon then xx

I wondered if the kisses were too much, but then I looked down and figured it was the least of his worries tonight.

“Alright let’s go pregame.” Alisha said nonchalantly slipping on her heels. She looked down at my sandles and frowned. “You aren’t wearing heels?”

“No because even I don’t hate myself that much.” I grabbed my bag and she followed me out.

———

The party was happening down by the bar we had been at on Friday, except it had been transformed completely. There was a large wooden platform placed on the sand nearby full of people dancing. The bar and dance floor was enveloped in large trees and vegetation that was adorned with lantern string lights of all purples and blues you could imagine. It felt like we were in the middle of a jungle. It was beautiful. Loud music pulsed through the large speakers and you recognized it to be Glass Animals. Perfect for the setting.

“Alright where’s this dude. Oh wait never mind, I’ll just look for the puddle on the floor.” she snorted and nudged my arm. Honestly everyone needed a friend like Alisha to hype them up this much.

“Jesus, you haven’t even had alcohol yet.”

“Ew you’re right. Come on. We can find your man later.”

We went over to the bar and Alisha ordered us both shots. We downed them and shortly after the song “Walla Walla” came on. It was one of my favorites.

“Hey come dance with me. I love this song!” I yelled to Alisha and she grabbed my hand pulling me to the dance floor. 

We began to sway to the heavy drum beat and I could feel the alcohol kicking in. It was turning my body into liquid fire in the best way. I felt myself let go and closed my eyes. Alisha grabbed my waist and we danced and danced until the next song came on, “Black Mambo.” As soon as the beat kicked in I opened my eyes and they were immediately caught by very large greenish ones that slowly turned darker as they studied me. Rami stood a few feet away next to who I assumed was Sami.

He wore a loose, very unbuttoned shirt with a floral pattern on it and that little strand of hair hung down on his forehead just the way I liked it. I smiled at him devilishly from the dance floor, beckoning him with my finger. I don’t know who I was in this moment and it felt so damn good. He licked his lips and willed himself towards me.

“Holy shit that’s him?! Is that another one too?! He’s a twin?! Oh excuse me, but I have work to do.” Alisha flipped out next to me for a minute and then walked towards Sami swiftly.

Rami finally reached me. I slowed my hips and looked deep into his eyes.

“Hi.” I stated simply.

“Hi.” a grin began to form on his lips and he was close enough now that I could see his eyes darken even more as he scanned my body. He found my gaze again, looking at me under his long lashes.

“Do you like it?” I asked twirling a little and biting my lip.

“I- uh yes. Yeah I like it. You look..just incredible.” he struggled with that and that only spurred me on more.

He still hadn’t touched me, ever the gentlemen, but now wasn’t the time for that. I grabbed his hands and wrapped them around my waist. I could feel his hands on my skin now and it ignited something deep in me. I snaked my fingers into the back of his hair and let my head fall back as the beat of the song intensified and we swayed together now. This was absolutely intoxicating. His skin on mine, the music vibrating my soul, his warmth radiating off of him and onto me. I let my hands wander down his chest, my hand slightly disappearing under the fabric. He pulled me closer and I could feel his hot breath on my neck. He softly pressed his lips to my neck right under my jaw, which made me pull him tighter to me. He then put his lips to my ear and I could just barely hear him say, “What are you doing to me..”

I then leaned up to his ear and responded, “Playing.” I smirked at him and that’s definitely what made him lose it.

He sucked in a deep breath, grabbing my hand tightly and pulling me with him. I didn’t know where he was taking us, but I definitely knew I was about to get it. He led us to what seemed to be a utility closet for the hotel. He pulled me in, flicking on the light, shutting the door and pushing me against it.

“Where the hell did you come from?” he breathed into my neck, pushing my hair out of the way. He began to hungrily kiss me, starting just underneath my ear and going all the way down my chest. His hand gripped my thigh and pulled it up around his waist.

I was a panting mess already and very wet. He was leaving kisses all over my neck and chest. I gripped handfuls of his curly hair.

“You just make me want to do very bad things, love.” I managed to get out between pants and moans.

He came back up and faced me, our noses touching, still eyeing my lips. Then his eyes flickered up to mine.

“I want to fuck you so bad right now, but I need you to give me permission.” He said very out of breath and that sentence made me even wetter.

“And what if I said no.” I tested him, bringing my thumb to his bottom lip.

He sighed, closing his eyes. “Then I would take my hands off you and we would leave this closet.”

An accidental moan escaped my lips. The fact that he would walk out of here with a dick that hard all because I told him to..

I leaned in and whispered, “You have my permission.”

I could almost feel him break down the wall of restraint he had up until those words left my lips. He reached his hand farther up my thigh until he reached the wet heat coming from between my legs. He pressed his fingers into my clit and I just about screamed.

“Ugh fuck!” I let out and bit down on my lip. I opened my eyes just enough to see him studying my face as he worked circles into me.

“God you're so pretty like this.” he huffed out. 

I could feel how hard he was through his pants on my thigh and I reached a hand out towards him. He let out a groan as I palmed him through the fabric, both of us working each other in just the right spot. His forehead fell into the crook of my neck. We began to sweat, which made our skin stick and it was a delicious feeling.

“Fuck this is too much. I need to feel you right now.” 

I grabbed at his shirt undoing the few buttons that were done and pushed it off over his shoulders. As soon as it was off he flipped me around, unzipping the back of my dress and letting it fall to the floor. He pressed himself against me, now just in my underwear which wasn’t much to begin with. He brought his hand up to my hip and let it wander back to wear I was now practically dripping. My face being pressed against the cool door was helping me to not pass out from the pleasure.

“You are so..wet..for me.” he kissed the back of my neck and flipped me back around to face him. He leaned forward leaving a sweet, languid kiss on my lips. He pulled a condom out of his pocket and handed it to me.

“Do you want to or should I?”

I grabbed it, not saying a word. I unbuttoned his pants and pushed them down along with his boxers and finally we were both completely exposed. He was a work of art. I studied his body as quickly as I could before rolling the condom onto him, which earned a sigh.

He grabbed both of my thighs this time and held me up against the door effortlessly.

“Ready?” he asked and I nodded vigorously.

He slowly pushed into me and we both gasped and let out a long moan at the same time.

“Holy shit.” I huffed out, the sudden feeling of being full taking me to another plain of existence.

“You are so tight, fuck.” He began to thrust faster and faster. Our hands explored each other and his mouth left sloppy kisses on whatever he could reach of me.

I could feel a familiar tightening in the pit of my stomach as he thrusted harder and harder. My moans became ungoverned.

“I’m close, baby.” I warned him.

“Me too ugh..” he groaned and his grip on my ass tightened more and more with each thrust.

Just two more and I was gone. I threw my head back against the door, the loudest moan escaped my lips and I was almost shocked something like that could come from me. My nails dug into his shoulders and everything went white. The pure ecstasy washed over me like electricity and I felt him come undone shortly after. The whimper that he let out into my ear was the sexiest thing I’d ever heard. 

We stayed there for a moment trying to get our bearings. After a moment he pulled out of me and let me down slowly, but the second my feet hit the ground I fell into his arms.

“Jesus, I can’t even stand after that.” we both laughed, our foreheads pressed together as we attempted to catch our breath.

“What actually just happened?” he ran a hand through his hair.

“I don’t know, but I’m pretty sure that was astral projecting or some shit because I feel incredible.”

We both lazily pulled our clothes back on, smiling like idiots. He placed a kiss on my lips after every piece of clothing we put on.

“Come here.” After our clothes were back on, he sat down on the floor against the wall and motioned for me to sit in his lap.

I crawled on to him and he wrapped his arms around me tightly, kissing my hair and resting his chin on top of my head.

“Thank you for giving me permission.” He uttered, sweetly.

“Thank you for asking for it.” I smiled and nuzzled my face into his warm neck.

He held me for a few moments longer, until we finally decided to rejoin civilization. I stepped out of the room first, adjusting my hair. I looked back at him and noticed my lip gloss on his jaw.

“Oh wait.” I wiped away the lip gloss with my thumb and he giggled.

“Yeah because the lip gloss is what they will notice, and not our ridiculous sex hair.”

We both giggled and shrugged, making our way back to the party.

———

“Oh. My. GOD.” Alisha starred at Rami and I as we walked up to the bar. Sami was standing next to her. “I’m so proud of you! You finally got some dick like I told you and now you are glowing.” I blushed at her words, finding it impossible to be that embarrassed after what just happened in that closet.

She leaned over to Sami and muttered, “The girl was wound tighter than a damn piano wire.”

“HA! She was? You don’t even want to know how long Ram-“ 

“No she doesn’t. And you aren’t going to tell her, Sami.” Rami’s jaw clenched as he gripped Sami’s shoulder, interrupting him. They both laughed and Rami turned to order us drinks.

Alisha scooted closer to me and the boys started talking about nonsense.

“So I guess this weekend was a success then?” she raised an eyebrow at me.

“It was. Thanks by the way.” I smiled coyly. 

“Oh please you gotta give me like a detail or two.” Alisha begged.

“Dude, no way!” I sipped my drink gazing out at the ocean.

“Ugh! No fair.” she frowned.

“I will say though,” I glanced over at Rami who was laughing at something Sami said, “the boy knows who’s in charge.” I threw back the rest of my drink and looked at Alisha with a grin.

“Aaaahh!!” she squealed and it turned into both of us losing it.

Rami came to my side and wrapped his arm around my waist.

“So, how about a swim?” he asked grinning at Sami.

“Rami, no I just bought this dre-“, he swept me up and threw me over his shoulder before I could answer. I screamed in protest and then saw that Sami was carrying Alisha the same way, running through the sand towards the water.

Before we knew it we were all soaked and falling all over each other in the salty water. I pushed Rami playfully, but he grabbed my wrists and pulled me in for a kiss. I wrapped my arms around him and he held me and we stood there in the water, the four of us, now very far from the party. 

“I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else in the world right now than here with you.” I looked into his eyes, the moonlight reflecting off of them and turning them sort of blue this time.

“Tell me that again tomorrow.”

#rami malek #rami malek x reader #rami malek fic #rami malek fanfiction #borhap #borhap cast #tell me again tomorrow fic #rami malek smut

[linaofthemyscira]

The Grace of a Newborn Deer

Pairing: Jason x (fem!) Reader

Words: 1851

Prompt: “So I have a bit of an odd request lol Could you do a fic with Jason where his s/o is clumsy as hell? Like just him saving them from themselves. (I also might have managed to break my toe tonight so that is A Thing.)” Requested by @memento-scribet

Warnings: possibly secondhand embarrassment? We’ll see…

A/n I’m a klutz sometimes so like HELL YEAH! WOO! Also, I’m starting to notice that the titles of my fics are sounding like Fall Out Boy or Panic! At The Disco song titles lmao. I hope you enjoy this!

“SHIT!”

You cursed to yourself as you started picking up the stack of papers that you had knocked over onto the floor. Jason had heard you from your bedroom and immediately rushed in to see what was wrong and if you were okay.

“Y/N? What’s wrong, are you okay?” Jason asked as he ran into the dining area. He saw you picking up papers, completely unscathed, and sighed. He joined you on the floor to help you.

“I’m fine, I just ran into the table and knocked over our bills, that’s all. The only casualty was my big toe,” you frowned as you stood up.

Jason stood up with you, a frown also lining his lips, “I didn’t really notice until now, but you’re…”

“Clumsy? I know. I have the grace of a newborn deer. It’s terrible. That’s why I have so many bruises on my legs,” You laughed dryly.

“Yikes. Well I still love you, and I know this sounds cheesy, but if you fall, I’ll always be there to pick you up. No matter what.” He smiled at you.

“Aw...that WAS cheesy. But I still loved it.” You beamed at Jason. “Hey so, I know you don’t really like fancy dinners with stuck up people, but the company I work for is having a fancy dinner with stuck up people on Friday and I would reeeeeaaaally appreciate if you could come with me.”

You clasped your hands together and gave Jason your best puppy eyes. You were right though; Jason hated going to events with arrogant people like the ones you worked with. Whenever he did go to those kinds of events, it was always for an undercover mission. He said it was something about how it reminded him of the galas he would go to with Bruce when he was a kid.

Jason sighed and scratched the back of his neck. He really cared about you and wanted to make you happy...but he hated the people you worked with (which you knew perfectly well).

“Alright. But if that asshole Asher tries anything with you, I’m killing him,” Jason crossed his arms. That was the sole reason he was going with you, other than the fact that he loved you. There was a coworker of yours that would relentlessly hit on you, despite you having told him that you were not available. Jason wanted to be there to make sure that this coworker, Asher, didn’t try to sexually harass you or keep hitting on you.

“Why do you have to go straight to killing? Can’t you just like, punch him in the face first?” You asked amusedly as you put the bills on the table then left Jason to go into the kitchen.

“Fine. I’ll punch him first. That’s strike one,” Jason put his hands up in surrender.

“You’re the best!” You called out to him.

“I know!” He smiled before turning to go back to your bedroom.

He totally couldn’t wait until Friday…

Come Friday, Jason still was reluctant to go to your company’s dinner party, but he put on a brave face and a nice suit and went anyway.

“Thanks again, Jay. I promise you won’t have to go to another one of those for a long time. We’re making budget cuts and word on the street is these fancy dinner parties will be the first to go,” You whispered as you approached the check-in table outside the dining hall.

“Thank God,” Jason whispered back to you. The both of you checked in with the lady at the table, then went into the ballroom/dining hall.

“If I could not trip and make a fool of myself tonight, that would be great,” You mumbled. Jason looked down at you with a small smile.

“I’ll look out for you, don’t worry,” he grabbed your hand and rubbed the back of it with his thumb.

“You’re honestly the best,” you told him.

“And, honestly, I know,” he winked at you. That was sort of your thing. You’d tell Jason he was the best and he’d say that he already knows. It was like Hazel Grace and Gus’s “Okay? Okay.” thing.

“Alrighty...let’s go eat!” you beamed and led Jason to a table with friends from work and put your stuff down. Then you turned and made a bee-line for the table filled with hors-d'oeuvres. The main courses would be served later in the evening.

Jason sat at the table by himself while you went to get the appetizers and fiddled with the cuff of his jacket.

“Sir,” a voice interrupted his thoughts, “would you like anything to drink?”

Jason looked up and saw a waiter standing behind him with a white cloth over his arm, which reminded him of Alfred. Jason sent a warm, yet awkward, smile to the waiter and shook his head.

“No thank you, but, my girlfriend would probably like some wine. Do you have the drink menu, by chance?” he asked politely.

“It’s right here,” a woman’s voice next to him said. He looked to his right and spotted a lady sitting two chairs over handing him the drink menu.

“Thanks,” Jason muttered and took the menu from her. He quickly scanned the wine list and found your favorite wine.

“One glass of Cabernet Sauvignon, please,” Jason told the waiter and set the menu back on the table.

“Right away, sir,” the waiter nodded and walked away. Jason sat back in his chair and sighed. It felt weird to him that he was being called “sir”. It was so formal. Too formal.

“Hey, I’m back! And I made it here without tripping!” You appeared with a little plate filled with bread, cheese, crackers and other little snacks to munch on.

“Look at you! I’m not gonna lie, I was starting to get worried about you. I ordered you a glass of wine by the way,” Jason smiled softly as you sat next to him.

“Sweet. Red?” You asked as you popped a cracker in your mouth.

“Yep.”

You pumped your fist in satisfaction and made a heart shape at Jason, saying “I love you”. He made one back at you and kissed your forehead.

In a matter of seconds, you and Jason ate everything off of your small plate. You had to wait another hour before you could order any real food, so you decided to get more appetizers.

Unfortunately, it was at the exact moment you decided to stand up, that the waiter approached your table with the wine bottle and glass, so as you turned to leave, you ran straight into the man holding the bottle and chaos ensued. It was like everything was in slow motion.

His fingers let go of the bottle, sending it crashing to the ground. Wine exploded everywhere, and you gasped as you felt the sticky liquid hit your legs and skirt along with tiny shards of glass landing on your exposed feet. The waiter reacted quickly, moving back to avoid getting wine on himself, but ran into another waiter who had a platter of hors-d'oeuvres that was going to replace an empty one. Then that waiter yelled and turned behind him only to run into another waitress with cups of water on her platter. You stood in place and watched food and water getting spilled everywhere in horror.

Jason stood up next to you and saw the mess and sighed. He looked down at your feet and saw you were bleeding because of the glass, so he acted upon it.

“Y/N, you’re bleeding! We need to clean you up,” Jason told you. You responded late, turning your head to him with a pained expression.

“I actually hate myself right now,” you told him. Jason gave you a sympathetic look and was about to go over to help when another waiter came out of nowhere and slipped and fell in the wine in front of you. The food that was on his platter splattered onto both you and Jason and that was all it took for you to burst into tears. Jason frowned and carefully made his way to you and picked you up bridal style. He then proceeded to carry you away from the mess, stepping cautiously to make sure he wouldn’t slip and fall himself.

He carried you to the men’s restroom and set you down on the counter as gently as possible. He left you to find a first aid kit and returned with one a few minutes later. Jason began to clean you up once he got out everything. It was silent for a few minutes as he used a wet paper towel to clean off your ankles and feet, the only sound being your sniffles.

“How bad was it out there?” You asked him softly.

“Not as bad as you think it is,” Jason answered.

“Paramedics?”

“Nope. Not yet.”

“Oh.”

More silence. Jason finished cleaning off your legs and started applying antiseptic. It was particularly odd because you were usually the one cleaning up Jason, but now you were hurt and he was playing nurse. As you winced from the stinging, he spoke.

“It’s not your fault you know.”

You looked up at Jason with an expression of surprise.

“What?”

“None of that is your fault.”

“Ugh, Jason, yes it is! I’m the one who wasn’t paying attention and bumped into that waiter and caused that whole domino effect. It is my fault!” You cried. “I’m a fucking klutz.”

“You couldn’t have known he was gonna be there right at that moment. It’s not your fault. It’s okay. We all make mistakes.” Jason said. You looked at Jason wistfully.

“I don’t deserve you,” you said softly. Jason looked up at you with a surprised expression again.

“Don’t say that, yes you do,” he scolded you jokingly.

“Seriously. You treat me like a princess and—“

“You’re not a klutz, Y/N…”

“Fine. I’m not a klutz.”

“And…?”

“And I deserve you.”

“That’s my girl. See you’re all better now!” Jason let go of your legs and smiled. You looked down at your feet and saw your ankle all bandaged up and frowned.

“What’s wrong?” He asked.

“I look like a mummy in the making.”

“Shut up, I tried okay?”

You laughed heartily at Jason and smiled.

“Okay, how about we just go home and order a pizza?” He asked while sticking his hands in his pockets.

You nodded in agreement, “I think that’s a wonderful idea. I probably look like a mess.”

“No comment,” Jason said as he went over to pick up your heels off the floor.

“Hey!” You laughed.

“I didn’t agree with you!” He handed you your shoes.

“But you didn’t disagree!” You told him.

“Again, no comment,” he remarked while smirking. He put one of his arms under your knees while the other braced your lower back. He lifted you up effortlessly and turned to the door.

“My hero,” you said flatly.

“Ahem, um, antihero,” Jason corrected you.

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes and with that, Jason whisked you home where you enjoyed pizza and a movie without crashing into anybody.

TAGGING:

@ladyalexa @impulsivesuperrobin @batarangtotheheart @little-lesbean-queen @where-is-my-jason-todd @pinkwitch21 @pamelaivy @makeup-wonder-woman @jasontoddandhisguns @dick-graysns @solis200213 @books-netflix-and-pizza @dramatic-and-young @ioczurma @sarcasmismyfirstlove @badass-hufflepride @princessonly2 @the--iceberg--lounge @timsflannels @dc-hoe @draketimbers @imaginingadifferentlife @letmestargaze36 @fandom--dreamer

#request #Jason Todd #jason todd x reader #red hood #batfam x reader

[diversiformheros-archive]

About the Mun

TAGGED BY: @billiondollarbat

TAGGING: @wcbs @cajuun @spiidermade @buckinwildstory @foundmeincarolinax @rolcplaycr @biestmodus

NAME: Alora

STAR SIGN: Libra

HEIGHT: 5′6″

PUT YOUR ITUNES SPOTIFY ON SHUFFLE. WHAT ARE THE FIRST 6 SONGS THAT POPPED UP? 

Dating Fight!- Toby Fox (Fuck my nerd is showing yes i have the Undertale soundtrack on my spotify ahhh)

Love So Soft- Kelly Clarkson (I love this songggg)

All Right Original Version- Scrubs “My Musical” Soundtrack (Fuck why IS SPOTIFY CALLING ME OUT)

How Far I’ll Go- Alessia Cara Version (I love Moana, disney in general tbh)

Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story-Hamilton (I’m Musical and Hamilton Trash)

I Know Those Eyes/ This Man Is Dead- The Count of Monte Cristo (More proof of my Musical trashness. This is a fav of mine)

GRAB THE BOOK NEAREST YOU AND TURN TO PAGE 23. WHAT’S LINE 17? There is no line 17 “As we said good-bye, he pulled something from his pocket and placed it in my hands.”

EVER HAD A POEM OR SONG WRITTEN ABOUT YOU? Yeah my little brother wrote a poem for me when we were younger and he wasn’t a brat lmao

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PLAYED AIR GUITAR? Like a week ago probs lol

WHO IS YOUR CELEBRITY CRUSH? Chris Evans, Gal Gadot, Tom Holland, Jessie Williams, Rihanna, Ryan Reynolds, Chris Pratt, Chris Pine. I can go onnnnnnnnn

WHAT’S A SOUND YOU HATE; SOUND YOU LOVE? I hate the sound of people chewing like cows, and nails on a chalk board or anything resembling that. I love the sound of water? like i love the sound of rain, the ocean, a river, it’s just so peaceful in my opinion.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? Yes I do, for my sweet 16 I went to Salem Massachusetts on a ghost tour and my dad got a picture of these three different color swirls over evps that were all going off at the same time and we had one of those speaker boxes that spirits can contact you over and it was not only very active but my grandmother came through as well.

HOW ABOUT ALIENS? It’s like complicated because I don’t want creepy horror movie aliens. Give me Guardians of the Galaxy and I’m down.

DO YOU DRIVE? I do, I’m the go to driver for everyone and I hate it. My anxiety is terrible when I drive to the point I have to usually smoke cigarettes to calm myself down which is a terrible habit I cant quit. Though my anxiety is worse when someone else drives because I can’t control how they stop and all my friends are always distracted when driving we’ve almost crashed numerous times. If I could I would hire a personal driver.

IF SO, HAVE YOU EVER CRASHED? Nope. Knock of wood. I am terrified of getting in a wreck, so I hyper focus. But I have crashed a golf cart before. That was wild.

WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? A thousand splendid suns it’s a very good book that takes place in the middle east during, I forget the exact time period before right before and around when the Titanic was released into theaters. It’s about two women from two different lives who become the wives of a terrible man and it’s their story and it’s very good and very emotional and eye opening.

DO YOU LIKE THE SMELL OF GASOLINE? If it’s in a small quantity yes, but if it’s too strong then no

WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW? Deadpool 2!! New fav movie <3

WHAT’S THE WORST INJURY YOU’VE EVER HAD? I did cheer leading freshman and sophomore year of high school and was a back/base because I was a strong girl. Softball was my primary sport but if we did three seasons of a varsity sport at my school it counted as a gym class so it was worth doing cheer leading. So sophomore year it’s competition season and we are trying to get the flyers, the girls we hold up or toss in the air, to record their tricks and decide we are going to try and get as many tricks in a row in a basket toss as our most talented flyer can do. We decided in order to do this we needed the three strongest girls on the team to be the people who would throw her up, seemed liked a good idea at the time, and we throw this chick like 30 feet in the air to where she almost hits the ceiling of the gym and she starts coming down FAST AND HARD  and so we have to catch her, that’s out job but the other two girls STEPPED AWAY AND WAS GOING TO LET THIS GIRL JUST DROP TO THE GROUND SO I STEPPED IN AND BAM SHE LANDS FLAT ON MY FACE AND BREAKS MY FUCKING NOSE

DO YOU HAVE ANY OBSESSIONS RIGHT NOW? :

YEAH IT’S CALLED WONDERCAP HAVE YOU HEARD OF IT. IT’S THE BEAUTIFUL SHIP OF STEVE ROGER AND DIANA PRINCE AND IT’S MY FUCKING FAVORITE THING EVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

DO YOU TEND TO HOLD GRUDGES AGAINST PEOPLE WHO HAVE DONE YOU WRONG? It depends on what they do, if it’s something I think that is really bad then hell yeah i hold grudges i’m terrible at it. I was bullied in middle school by this one girl for four years and I’ll see her at a local bar sometimes and I’m still super salty and want to beat her the fuck up BECAUSE FUCK HER FOR TORMENTING ME FOR FOUR YEARS I JUST UGH I HATE HER

IN A RELATIONSHIP? Nope!! Single unlike a pringle 

#meet the mun;

[sonofadeanwinchester]

Stuck In The Middle With You

Summary:  Crappy day at work; first some moron runs into the back of your truck causing you to spill a whole coffee on your blouse; next you bend over a little too far and rip a huge whole in your skirt; then the elevator breaks down for God knows how long with two men who should be winners of America's Next Top Models; today was going to be a loooooong day.

Sebastian Stan x Reader ; Chris Evans x Reader

Words: 1206

Warnings: nothing too much, obviously swearing cause I like to stay close to the actual person.

HOUR ONE

I cursed under my breath as I stood in the floor to ceiling mirror at work. "Fuck." I whispered quietly. "Brand new shirt too." I shook my head and sighed as the wet paper towel tried its best to clean the coffee stain off my brand new white blouse. "Ugh, fucking, never again." My phone started to ring, the newest Beyonce song set as my best friend's ringtone. "Hello?"

Angela's chipper voice sang through the small device, "Good morning, (Y/N)!"

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Hey."

She scoffed, "what's wrong, love? Having a bad day? It's only 8 AM."

I snorted, "bad's an understatement. Remember that blouse I just bought last week?" She hummed. "Spent $65 on this damn thing and dropped my whole fucking coffee order all over me this morning."

Angela sighed, "you have the worst of luck."

The door opened and a co-worker peeked her head through. "(Y/N), boss is looking for you."

"Ugh, fuck me. Listen, the bitch from hell is looking for me so I'll call you later, k?" My boss really wasn't that mean of a person but right now, at this exact moment, everyone was a bitch from hell. "Coming." I sighed once more throwing the soaked paper towel into the trashbin and walked briskly to the end of the hall where Mrs. Carter's office was. I knocked and she sang out a enter. I smiled "you wanted to see me?"

She nodded then her eyes got big as they landed on the full stain on my chest. "Yes, thank you for coming in. You know you have something on-." She stopped talking and pointed on her chest exactly where the stain was located.

I nodded, "yes, thanks. Traffic was terrible this morning and some asshat ran into the back of me, causing, well this. What's going on?"

She smiled and straighted her already perfect pencil skirt. "I hear you're going to Tampa for a few weeks. That's exciting."

I chuckled, "uh, yeah, taking vacation off to see my brother and his wife. She's pregnant with their first child."

She lightly laughed, "of course, family is a beautiful thing." She pointed at the chair. "Please sit."

As I bent over to sit, the skirt that became two sizes two small ripped straight up the back, openly a few inches to reveal my bright pink thong. "Jesus!"

Mrs. Carter stifiled a laughter and shook her head. "Perhaps you would like to go home for the rest of the afternoon, come back in tomorrow morning refreshed."

I laughed, "refreshed as in not a stained blouse and a skirt that actually fits me."

She nodded and chuckled, "might be the best for you. You've been doing excellent with your work and you're caught up on your projects for the week, I'm sure you can handle missing one day at the office."

I sighed and agreed. Going home and laying on the couch for the rest of the evening sounded heavenly right now. "Thank you, Mrs. Carter." She nodded and I stood, removing my sweater and wrapping it fashionably as possible around my waist. "Ugh, fuck me."

HOUR ONE

I gathered my belongings and headed straight for the elevator. I pressed the little white button and only waited a moment before the big silver doors opened wide revealing two beautiful men I've ever seen in my whole life. The blond headed one smiled and stepped to the side allowing me access to the back. The brunet man, stood on his cellphone, arguing with someone in another language. As the doors shut, he hung up and sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

The blond man spoke, his voice a deep sound but smooth as butter. "What's the deal?"

The brunet chuckled, "there is no deal, she backed out of it."

"What the hell man? She was suppose to have all of her shit out of there by tonight!" He sighed and shook his head. "We already avoided this conversation for months."

The brunet spoke again, his voice deep and husky. "I know man, she's being a total bitch right now."

Then the elevator shook a bit and the lights flickered, then everything stopped moving. "What the hell?" I said as I looked around. I pressed a few buttons but nothing happened, as if the power had been shut off to the steel box.

The blond spoke, "god dammit, third time this month." He leaned against the walls and sighed. "Seb, you better just get comfortable, remember last time? We were stuck in here for almost six hours."

The brunet, now called Seb, sighed and growled under his breath. "Fuck."

I sank to the floor, making sure my sweater was covering the important bits and closed my eyes. A voice interuppted my thoughts. "I'm Chris and this is Sebastian."

I opened my eyes to see the blond man speaking to her, pointing a finger between himself and Sebastian. I nodded, "nice to know."

Sebastian laughed, "wow."

Chris chuckled as well, "rough day, eh?"

I snorted, "you have no fucking idea."

Chris shrugged, "Sebastian was talking to his cousin, who is also my ex-girlfriend, who isn't moving her shit out of our apartment because she decided she wants to stay and for me to find another place to live."

Sebastian laughed, this time at Chris's expense. "Dude, I told you when you started dating her to run away, she's insane." He looked at me, his eyes bluer than any ocean. "What happened to you? I'm sure you don't want to hear about Chris's love life." Then he smiled and I felt my stomach sink and my face fill with heat.

I shuttered out a breath. "Uh, well, some asshole bumper-ed my car today, spilling a full cup of coffee on this brand new blouse I just bought. I tried to wash it out but it made it spread. I went to sit in my boss's chair, bent over too far, and the whole ass crack of my skirt tore along with it. Hence the terrible 90s fashion statement of the sweater around my waist and now, my boss had sent me home to get some rest and I'm stuck in the elevator for God knows how long."

"Fuck, sounds rough." Sebastian nodded. "You work in this building?"

"No, I'm just here for fun." I rolled my eyes and when his brow furrowed, I snorted. "I'm kidding, sarcasm. Like ha ha funny."

Chris chuckled, "I thought it was kind of funny. Hey, Seb, you're not use to woman dishing it out, are ya?"

Sebastian snorted, "no because most of them are too busy checking themselves out in the goddamn mirrors."

I shook my head, "I hate woman who do that, like, get over yourself."

Sebastian's hand came out in a thank you gesture. "Thank you! Finally, a woman with some sense in her mind."

Chris smirked, "I'm sorry but I like it when a woman takes pride in what she looks like."

I snorted, "there's a difference between taking good care of your appearance and just being self-absorbed."

This comment forced a gut laugh from Sebastian. "Damn, girl, you are sassy."

I rolled my eyes, this was going to be a loooooooong day.

#Sebastian Stan #Chris Evans #sebastian stan fanfiction #chris evans fanfiction #i'm a fangirl #fanfic

[paul-patts-blog]

all for my boyfriends (why am i not dating any of your women?)

no women for u. 

BERLIOZ 

☾ - sleep headcanon-- berlioz rarely  sleeps in the nude. even after sex, he gets cold and has to grab a shirt and boxers. many times he has managed to sweet talk simba into doing it so he can stay curled in the covers. 

★ - sad headcanon- ugh his entire demeanor?? there r just so many 

☆ - happy headcanon- ber has learned a lot of life skills the past two years, like laundry, grocery shopping, vacuuming-- even cooking! tbh he has grown to really like coming over to help nounou prepare dinner since he does that (or did that) with simba. 

☠ - angry/violent headcanon- ber’s anger is cold and sharp. he is not a physical guy but knows how to say like the perfect brutal thing. dem bonfamilles yo. 

✿ - Sex headcanon- ber is nasty. UHHHH. ber never went down on a girl and probably never will lolololol 

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon- as a young broody teen, ber literally made a KEEP OUT sign that he put on his doorknob at all times. it was mostly for marie tbh who terrorized him and his stuff

♡ - romantic headcanon- ber literally can’t look at a rose without thinking of simba and also simba’s aunt who has a rose farm. for the rest of his life, that’s what he’ll think about. 

♥ - family headcanon- hector was the person who bought berlioz his first david bowie album and on the day bowie died-- ber actually texted his dad and they had a CALL about it. it’s one of the only things they have in common. 

☮ - friendship headcanon- ber is literally the best friend u can have ok if u get him on ur side he’s one of those who will ride or die, offer to bury the body, etc. 

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon- he really likes MAPS. whenever he goes to a new city he picks up the city map and keeps it. his desk is like fuuuull of maps. i’m sure lou has gotten him like old, antique maps before that he has in frames. 

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon- likes really long plane rides, longer the better, loves airplane food, loves the whole nine yards /  dislikes any gossip or reality tv show it like literally makes him SO mad like he can’t watch dance moms or keeping up with the kardashians he gets /upset/ bc ppl are so /mean/ and /stupid/ and he hates it 

▼ - childhood headcanon- would wake up early to watch pokemon his one exception to the sleep until noon rule. 

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon- ber will be that old man busting out beautiful piano pieces in random places bc he will have lost all his fucks by then

♒ - cooking/food headcanon- wow can my above one with nounou count-- uhhh he is in charge of cutting veggies. 

☼ - appearance headcanon- ber is the type of boy to never take off his concert wristbands. sometimes he picks at them and they get ripped up and nasty and eventually they fall off. 

ൠ - random headcanon- i am bad at these uuuuuh ber once sang the pina colada song to simba when he was drunk outta his brain and simba probably captured a good 80 percent on video. 

◉ - Any other question of your choosing- idk im uncreative

HADES

☾ - sleep headcanon- hades has discovered that listening ot books on tape helps him get to sleep! 

★ - sad headcanon- uh that his mum didn’t leave a goodbye note 

☆ - happy headcanon- uhhh once opal saved up her money and took hades and persephone out to the movies and then they had ice cream!!! and that was the closet thing to a holiday that hades had as a child oh this god sad again

☠ - angry/violent headcanon- he used his ghost powers on his grandfather to like smash his grandfather’s head into the kitchen counter after he said something Truly Rude and knocked him out and seph was scared and crying and he had to call the ambulance and tbh he was very scared and felt guilty these r all sadder than my sad headcanon

✿ - Sex headcanon- goes down on belle at every opportunity bc he has a control kink (also does fantasize about her going down on him boy just likes oral sex)

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon- hades room is immaculate. he makes his bed every single day and washes his sheets once a week. or he did now he lives in hell and its SO DUSTY and he does all the dusting, 

♡ - romantic headcanon- uh lmao fuck uh. hades version of romance is having belle practice the debate questions with him. 

♥ - family headcanon- opal taught both her kids to read and do arithmetic before their peers and that’s why the acherons r smart alecks 

☮ - friendship headcanon- hades now plays words with friends with belle AND lou. wow. so popular. 

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon- hades organizes the cereals in the pantry by alphabetical order. and the spices. and soups. basically anything that can be organized he likes having systems ok. 

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon- blackjack and really gambling in general tbh he’s real good at it / dislikes- fried food 

▼ - childhood headcanon- walked to school no matter the weather bc people on the bus would torment seph and though he woulda FOUGHT THEM OFF seph just wanted to avoid it so, he walked her to school

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon- hades is honestly going to have trouble giving up immortality. he’s vain and he doesn’t want to grow old tbh. and bc he’s the ambassador he almost doesnt /have/ to ... 

♒ - cooking/food headcanon- hades loves chocolate milk its a sinful indulgence that he probably hid from belle for a long time and tbh he still denies himself chocolate milk a lot like challenges himself to go without chocolate milk for 90 days stupid shit like that everything’s a competition BUT HE LOVES CHOCOLATE MILK SO MUCH 

☼ - appearance headcanon- always immaculate. always. 

ൠ - random headcanon- hades sometimes refolds belle’s clothes that she folds bc its not good enough, sorry hon, 

◉ - Any other question of your choosing-don’t come at me

PAUL 

☾ - sleep headcanon- paul’s sleep schedule has long been outta wack, so he usually can only sleep three or four hours before his body gets himself up. normally he goes and gets a glass of water or if it’s a more restless night, he’ll have to read himself back to sleep. 

★ - sad headcanon- paul was the one who told his mother that lucas died 

☆ - happy headcanon- when the babies were born paul like basically spent the entire day taking pictures of themmm with perdy and he was so so happy and he still has every single picture no matter how terrible the shots 

☠ - angry/violent headcanon- paul has a tiny bit of a violent streak in him that he can mostly control, but he does get into fights with other blokes and has thrown stuff when he gets mad. 

✿ - Sex headcanon- the first time paul had sex his first words were “holy shit” quickly followed by “sorry” quickly followed by him coming. it was not the most impressive first time.

■ -  Bedroom/house/living quarters headcanon- paul and lucas shared a room and they were around the same size and had lots of the same tastes so they shared everything else too, so often that when lucas died, paul couldn’t remember if certain shirts were his, which albums were his, etc. 

♡ - romantic headcanon- paul is the type to write random notes and leave them around the house. he did this for perdy when she was pregnant and some of them had clues that led to OTHERs because he’s extra we know he’s extra 

♥ - family headcanon- the patts family is rarely all in one place, but they always congregate for one thing: football in the spot. unless paul’s mom is having a bad time, even she’ll come down. 

☮ - friendship headcanon- though roger is certainly his best friend, harry is his oldest friend-- knowing him since they were both wee lads in primary school around 6 or 7 years old. they tried out for the football team together. 

♦ - quirks/hobbies headcanon- paul actually knows how to brew his own beer! he learned his from johnny, who is a beer connoisseur and like makes his own types and swears he’s gonna get rich of them (probably never will) but Paul used to help Johnny with the whole process and they’d organize like ‘tasting’ parties which-- was just a bunch of men getting very drunk and playing card games tbh.  

☯ - likes/dislikes headcanon- shopping for new clothes, he always feels so fancy and rich / grocery shopping nothing could be more boring and he usually impulse buys like more beer and sweets than he needs lol 

▼ - childhood headcanon- paul broke his arm when he was 8 after falling out of a tree and into the shrubbery. he was trying to hide from simon who had just got a new paintball gun and wanted to use paul as his target practice !!! 

∇ -. old age/aging headcanon- paul is gonna be the old guy who thinks he’s “cool” and “hip” and will like do the line dances and idk probably pick up a mid-life crisis hobby like SKIING thats dangerous but makes him feel “alive.”

♒ - cooking/food headcanon- his mother makes the most amazing cinnamon hot cocoa. whenever he’s sad, it’s what he craves, to him, sadness tastes and smells like cinnamon. 

☼ - appearance headcanon- paul loves getting ready for events. he and perdy would spend an equal amount deciding on outfits and doing their hair and shit he just-- feels so goddamn fancy. 

ൠ - random headcanon- paul lets edith read all his stories. she is the only one. she still gets emailed drafts. this is because edith hates reading, so if edith likes something, he knows that it’s good.

◉ - Any other question of your choosing

#SO LONG #MEME #ABOUT #PAUL #HADES #BER #doctor-sweet

[imhereforbvcky]

imhereforbvcky's Marvel Receptacle

Okay I have read so many great stories on here but I’m absolute shit about leaving feedback, so here we go. The list of Marvel fics I’ve read and love (at least that I can remember). I’ll keep adding as I read them.

Last updated: 1/12/18 (search fic rec on my blog for more recent)

One Shots

Fluff (one shots)

Sand and Sea by @denialanderror This floof is too fun and I love the patented Bumbles sass. Summary: It’s too hot to do anything but you have the marvelous idea of taking a trip to the beach. However, Bucky just likes to be difficult, it seems.

Make Me by @marvelatmytrash This light-hearted one is so sweet and funny. I’m obsessed with this idea. I giggled the whole time. Summary: You catch Bucky in a compromising position and are a little less than helpful in getting your boyfriend out of his sticky situation.

I’ve got my love to keep me warm by @sugardaddytonystark A gorgeous holiday fic that is a beautiful balance of sweet and sultry. It literally feels like reading a dream. It’s just so gorgeously worded ugh. You need to read this. Summary: Outside the window, in the city square, the bulbs on the Christmas tree are still twinkling, rainbow lights reflecting off and refracting through the glass. A growing sheet of white snow is covering the ground and everything beyond the diner is ice-covered and frozen. But inside, it’s warm, and the air is thick with the smell of cinnamon and stew. James is here and your heart is pounding, stomach fluttering, and it feels good to feel this way, even if it’s not reciprocated.

A Freshly Brewed Storm by @doublestufthoreo I adore this fic. It is fun and not quite fluff. It looks at another side of Steve, what daily life Steve might look like. What adjusting might look like. Summary: Yeah, he’s is Captain America — he’s supposed to be the punctual one. It doesn’t stop him from running a coffee shop with terrible timings. Despite it, he does manage to bring back a regular. 

Siblings Be Cray Cray  by @littlemisssyreid I adore this fic. It is hilarious and relatable and so perfectly Tony. Summary: You’re Tony’s sister and at the team’s nagging he barges into your place to keep you company while you’re sick.

Smooth Criminal by @redgillan This fic is so fucking adorable I cannot make the words do the word thing to explain how much I love it. It is so fluffy but still cute and silly and fun so it’s not just like tooth rotting fluff. I’m obsessed with it. Summary: Bucky’s a cop and got called to a crime scene to arrest a criminal but he realizes the criminal is the person he’s dating.

Pool Balls and Underpants by @bitsandbobsandstuff Listen. This fic is so sassy and adorable, you should really read it like yesterday. I cannot handle the banter and the tension is just so flawless. Summary: Bucky offers to teach you how to play pool, but he ends up in a slightly awkward predicament.

Angst (one shots)

Hello & Goodbye Stranger by @serzhantkris Two sides of the same story, I don’t know how Kris put so much feeling into this brief exchange on a bus but I love it. Summary: Hello: You meet the love of your life on a bus. Based on “Hello” by Adele. Goodbye Stranger: Bucky falls in love with a woman on a bus. Based on “Goodbye Stranger” by Supertramp.

I’ve Got You by @serzhantkris I’m usually not a fan of soulmate AUs but holy fuckin shit. The aaaangst kills me in this one and I love it. I could re-read this one a thousand times. Summary: Soulmate au where instead of your soulmates first words to you written on your skin it’s their last words you ever hear them say so you don’t know who your soulmate is until you lose them.

Ocean Eyes by @whothehellisbella A really poetic and beautiful group of one shots. Soft and sad, just like the song :)

Brave: (Verb.) by @iwillbeinmynest I love this fic because while the reader is a badass, she isn’t perfect. She gets scared, she freezes, she’s so perfectly, relatably normal. I am obsessed with powerful normal characters right now. Summary: Prompt fic: “Scared is what you’re feeling. Brave is what you’re doing.”

Combo/Other (any combination of fluff+angst+smut) (one shots)

Feel Me by @avasparks (renewed version) An enhanced reader helps Bucky work into life after the Winter Soldier. It’s soft and intense and then sexy aaah. I love this one.

Five Sweaters To Make You Want Me by @sebbytrash​ Ok look, there is not one thing that isn’t flawless here. Not. One. I love this story so much. It’s cute and sweet and a dash of angst and a scoop of omg this might blow up in a bad way, and then flawless resolution. Kale! How do you nail the endings so well???? I give up.

Breakfast by @sugardaddytonystark Smug, pain in the ass Buckaroo is my favorite Buckaroo. This is some seriously fantastic smut and I love love love all the banter. Summary: It’s not like you were jealous.Yeah, you and Steve have been roommates for two years. And yeah, you consider him your best friend. But you know that Bucky was Steve’s friend first, and now that Bucky has moved in to the third bedroom, it’s about time that you accept being the third wheel. or Steve is out of town so you and Bucky hate fuck.

Ok this isn’t a one shot, but @emilyevanston‘s headcannons They’re so much fun and there’s honestly something for everyone. EVERYONE. Also I don’t know how the hell Kate keeps up with them all and manages to link them all! But she does. Bless her soul.

I Lost It by @theashhole An amazing bundle of fics that are adorable and painful. Soaring high or crashing with the pain. I love it and am amazed at the range Ash can reach with just two parts so far! Summary: We follow Bucky as he describes the three times in his life where he has ‘lost it’ with you. 

Haunted by @abovethesmokestacks This fic is magic. Pure magic. What starts as a mysterious and haunting scene melts into a tremendously endearing and gentle story. I love it. It doesn’t push things too quickly, I love the pace and it allows the sweet little gems shine t he brighter. Love. It. Summary: Prompt fic: “I know you, don’t I?” for a Halloween writing challenge

Series

Angst (series)

Death Wish by @helaodinsdottirr Listen. You need to read this. You just do. it’s so dang good and intense and the slow burn is soooo goood uuuuugh. Summary: You answer a frantic phone call from an old acquaintance to help their dying friend, who just so happens to be an Avenger. But doing a good deed has more consequences than one might think. Saving him might just mean condemning yourself.

What We Deserve by @helaodinsdottirr I just can’t get enough of Jess’s writing, alright? She will break your heart with this one and then give you back a taped up ball of glowing happy. Summary: When Steve goes to Bucky’s apartment in Bucharest he finds you while Bucky’s gone out to the market. Massive angst and fluff ensues.

Thicker Than Water by @nataliarxmanxva This concept is incredible and I love how Sophia weaves bits of hinted at stories from the Cap movies into this story. It’s so great! And the reader character is strong but flawed and you just don’t know what’s going to happen! Summary: Being born and raised in a HYDRA family means you must be a devoted member to the organisation, carrying out orders with blind obedience. But after being assigned the suicide mission of being the Winter Soldier’s handler, you slowly start to question where your loyalties truly lie.

The Night Ahead by @helaodinsdottirr I love all of Jess’s writing. She is a master of angst and building dramatic tension. She can weave a story so full of surprises and genius turns. Summary: Bucky came out of cryostasis after just a few months. With the help of Steve, he’s trying to piece the fractions of his mind back together. While flipping through old HYDRA files, he remembers something from his days as the winter soldier: you.

Through His Eyes by @sebbytrash This. Series. Is fan-fucking-tastic. So much angst, like truckloads on all sides but it’s so beautiful and it makes so much sense that it doesn’t feel like overload. I can’t get enough of this one no matter where it goes. Summary: Bucky arrives at the compound to start afresh but you and him have a somewhat colorful past, colorful being that you met him once before as The Winter Soldier and it did not go well. New beginnings, yeah? If you can learn to forgive.

Barnes’ Books by @marvel-lucy Fantastically angsty and soft. A lovely little dream world about a down on her luck character who stumbles into a friendship with a bookstore owner and later a relationship with his son.

Winter Shadow by @marvel-lucy Intense and mysterious. You fall into the hands of the avengers as a prisoner, they soon discover that you have been the Winter Soldier’s silent partner all along.

Combo/Other (any combination of fluff+angst+smut) (series)

Surrender by @marvel-ash Holy shit this is one where I honestly never know what’s going to happen in the next part. It’s so mysterious and gah! I love it. Summary: As a flight attendant, you’d traveled all over the world. You’d never thought you could meet someone who could take you somewhere you hadn’t already been.

Divided by @marvelatmytrash Ok this is so fantastically done. I don’t even have the words. Basically B injects the reader as a new character in Civil War and it’s incredible how seamlessly she fits her in and how hard B worked to keep to the script/storyline. It’s amazing. Summary: You have always been one of the best agents at the Avenger’s compound, now you come face to face with the Winter Soldier and find yourself drastically underprepared.

Melodies by @denialanderror Pianist Bucky smut. That’s all that needs to be said here, I think. Summary: Unable to fall back asleep, you decide to wander around the tower when you hear music coming from somewhere. But it’s 3am, no one should be awake so late.

Heart On The Line by @sugardaddytonystark The smoothest story you can find with the most delicious smut weaved into a genuinely entertaining story. I love this fic. I love a lot of Dahlia’s fics. Summary: You and Bucky had your differences in college, but now you need a place to stay and he needs a roommate, and in order to make ends meet, you two start a phone sex line together.  

Worth Fighting For by @serzhantkris A gorgeous group of series. Full of angst and action. Beautifully slow build. I’ve read a few of her other one shots that are fantastic! She writes incredibly insightful angst. Summary: When your brother is drafted into WWII, you do the unthinkable to save him and your family: you take his place, in secret.

The Witching Hour by @soldatbarnes Such a fun and terrifying horror series! Oh my god I binged this in one night. Fantastic push and pull of no this can’t be real to no, fuck no, I would not put up with this! The perfect play of rational mind dealing with irrational occurrences. It was so entertaining. Summary: You and your husband Bucky move into your dream home, a few weeks after your marriage. You had no idea what you’d be in for.

When Everything’s Made to be Broken (I just Want You to Know Who I Am) by @cassiopeiassky You listen to me! Read this fic and read it right now! Binge the shit out of it! It’s amazing! I LOVE that it takes an ordinary reader and puts her in extraordinary circumstances. It is full of angst and fluff and violence and tension. Literally everything you could want in a fic. It’s perfect and so worth the read. Cass is a master of slow burn and drama – my two favorite things! Summary: When you inadvertently become a witness to a murder and are suddenly a target for death, it takes a specially skilled soldier and his team to keep you and your family safe.

#fic recs #imhereforbvcky's marvel receptacle #fic rec #bucky x reader #bucky imagines #bucky barnes #marvel imagine

[wbwest]

New Post has been published on WilliamBruceWest.com

New Post has been published on http://www.williambrucewest.com/2017/06/16/west-week-ever-pop-culture-review-61617/

West Week Ever: Pop Culture In Review - 6/16/17

  Hot on the heels of the poster reveal last Friday, we got a teaser trailer for Black Panther during the NBA Finals. And it did very little for me. Yeah, I know. Every other Black person I know is, as they say, “hype” for this movie, but I just have never cared about Black Panther as a character. And I know comic book movies require suspension of disbelief, but Michael B. Jordan plays a villain named KILLMONGER! That’s probably the comic bookiest name I’ve ever been forced to take seriously. It certainly looks colorful, and it’s gonna make all the monies, but I’m gonna need to see more before I get too excited.

Let’s talk about Black Panther for a minute, though, as I think people are conflating his comic book success with his appearances in all other media. At the moment, there are currently 3 Black Panther comics on the stands: 1) Black Panther, 2) World of Wakanda, and 3) Black Panther & The Crew. Also at this moment, the latter two have already been canceled. I’ve seen people online saying that Marvel should rethink their stance, considering all the views the trailer has racked up in its week online (22.6 million as I write this). I get what they’re trying to say, but it’s a faulty argument. Their assumption is that people are clamoring for all the Black Panther they can get, when it’s really just this one movie to which they’re looking forward.

When the Black Panther comic was relaunched last year, written by author Ta-Nehisi Coates, the first issue sold over 250,000 copies, which was a rare feat for 2016. Now, however, the book sells about 1/9 of that amount, and is still decreasing. Ya see, Coates was hot shit because of an article on reparations that he wrote for The Atlantic. Why someone thought that would translate into a successful stint writing comics is beyond me. Marvel struck while the iron was hot, though, and they were able to ride the Coates wave, but anyone who’s actually read the comic knows that he’s more about political drama than superhero action. People came to the table to see what he’d offer, but over time they’ve realized they’re not picking up what he’s putting down. Still, Marvel gave him yet another series, Black Panther & The Crew, which probably should’ve been called Black Panther and His Negrotastic Pals. I bought the first issue, but the book was canceled before I even had  the chance to read it, so womp womp. It could be argued that Coates wasn’t the right choice for the book, but I think a better explanation is that Marvel blew their wad too soon. They should’ve been launching these spinoffs in the wake of the trailer, not cancelling them. Still, the damage is already done, so it’s not like they can let them tread water until the movie is released. If anything, they’re gonna have to cancel and relaunch if they want to capitalize on movie buzz. The ship, however, has sailed for the books currently on the market because this trailer is not going to serve as the shot in the arm that some folks seem to believe it to be.

Fox has got the ball rolling on X-Men: Dark Phoenix, the follow-up to the disappointing X-Men: Apocalypse. It will be directed by Simon Kinberg, who has no directing experience by the way, and is slated to be released November 2nd, 2018. And the gang’s all here, with Fassbender, Lawrence, and McAvoy are all coming back. If you remember, they tried to act like they were on the fence about returning after Apocalypse, but I guess they love money too much. Meanwhile, they’re saying that Jessica Chastain is being pursued to play alien Shi’ar Empress Lilandra, who lets Xavier bone her every couple of years. Did I mention that Kinberg wrote X-Men: The Last Stand? Ya know, the LAST time they did the Dark Phoenix storyline?! THE ONE EVERYBODY HATED?! So they’re basically giving him do-over! Everything about this sounds terrible, but we’ll probably get another cool Quicksilver sequence out of it, this time set to La Bouche’s “Be My Lover” or some other disposable 90s pop song.

Normally, I’m all about those stories where they “get the band back together”, so I was definitely surprised when this video hit the Internet this week. I miss the age of the $20 million comedy, where Hollywood was cranking these things out monthly in the mid ’00s. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story was one of my favorites, so I had high hopes for this thing, whatever it was supposed to be. Still, 13 years have passed since the movie, and this “return to the well” felt just as stale as Zoolander 2. Its saving grace is the fact that it’s only 4 minutes long (which still, somehow, feel like an eternity). I don’t even know where to start with this thing. The unfunniness of Stiller? The weak delivery from Christine Taylor? Or the fact that I don’t have a clue as to what the Hell Omaze is? Apparently it raises money for non-profits, but it’s far from a household name. I don’t know if this is the bold step Omaze needed to take to make a name for themselves. “Hey, look – we’re making a mini sequel to a 13 year old movie that didn’t need a sequel!” This thing seems dead on arrival, and I’d love to somehow be able to track the success/failure of this marketing initiative. Ugh, so much potential, squandered.

Bachelor in Paradise had its production suspended this week after accounts of “misconduct” began to surface. According to varying reports, Corinne Olympios from the most recent season of The Bachelor was involved in some pretty “heavy petting”, as your grandma would call it, with DeMario Jackson from season 13 of The Bachelorette. From what I heard, they were both drunk and tried to have sex. DeMario, unfortunately, couldn’t…”ready his soldier for battle”, so he “went downtown” instead. Corinne’s friend, who’s a producer on the show, told her that it’d look bad for her to be getting serviced on camera like that. A lot of other contestants reportedly witnessed the event, and said that the two were even seen canoodling together later that night. Then, Corinne started saying that she couldn’t remember the events of the night, and that she had never given consent for what happened. So now both sides are lawyered up, blaming the other for character assassination and worse. Oh, by the way, if you’re not familiar with Bachelor In Paradise, it’s a spinoff where the contestants are encouraged to get drunk and try to fuck. So…mission accomplished?

The format of the show was just asking for a controversy like this, and I’m amazed that it took this long for something like this to hit the Bachelor franchise. I don’t know anything about DeMario, but the one season of The Bachelor that I watched featured Corinne as the villain of the season. She was constantly boasting of her sexual prowess, saying things like “My ‘vagine’ is platinum.” Her tactic to win the show was to throw herself at The Bachelor early and often. Now, some folks are gonna interpret this as me saying she “deserved” this. If this was sexual assault, nobody deserves something like that. All I’m saying is that she was strategic in using sex to get what she wanted, and quick to cower when it didn’t work out as planned. Bachelor Nick Viall rebuffed all of her advances last season, and she’d end up pouting in her room, or taking a nap during the rose ceremony. She was notoriously immature yet manipulative. Word on the street was that she was up for her own show, but this little episode might’ve jeopardized the chances of that.

The most interesting part of this whole thing is that THEY HAVE THE TAPE! LET’S GO TO THE DAMN TAPE! How damning is that tape that it hasn’t been released yet? The production is most likely over for good, as the contestants have been sent home. The future of the show is in jeopardy because of this ordeal as there doesn’t really seem to be any coming back from this. The reality show fuck house actually turned into a fuck house. I guess their plan worked a little too well. If the show does come back, this is a watershed moment for dating shows, as nothing will be the same after this. Remember how talk shows changed when the Jenny Jones Murder took place? After that, they all became more staged, and Jerry Springer thrived in its wake. Now you can’t trust anything you see during daytime, while a show like Donahue couldn’t exist in the current climate. They’re gonna have to treat future iterations of The Bachelor with kid gloves, which isn’t what people come to see. When folks watch these shows, they wanna see if the contestants are gonna hook up. Now, they realize that standards and practices won’t allow that to be shown, but they still wanna see as much as the network will allow them to see. All these years after Joe Millionaire aired on Fox, folks don’t remember it for its janky premise (poor guy pretends to be a millionaire in order to find love from a pool of gold diggers), but rather for the scene of “Joe” (Evan Marriott) and contestant Sarah Kozer in the woods with some intense slurping on the audio. Lewd, yes, but boundary-pushing for 2003 and everyone was talking about it. The goal of these shows is to produce something to dominate the conversation for a while and, in that case, this whole thing has been a success. Still, there are serious matters at hand that need to be addressed, as folks are losing jobs (DeMario got fired for the allegations), and could also end up in jail.

After something like a year in teases, we finally have our release date for the DuckTales reboot: Aug 12th. The show will premiere on DisneyXD as an hour-long “mini movie”, and then be rebroadcast for the next 24 hours on the channel. Then,  the series will officially premiere on September 23rd, with 2 new episodes. As you saw above, we also got the new credit sequence and theme song. Some of the old fuddy duddies have taken issue with the remixed theme, but I love it. The most surprising thing to me is the new jacked Mrs. Beakley, but I figure there’ll be an in-series explanation for all that.

In the world of toys, Hasbro unveiled the full Netflix wave of Marvel Legends figures, and they look so great. In the beginning, I was scared these were gonna turn out to be exclusive to a particular retailer, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. We already knew about Daredevil, Jessica Jones, and Punisher, but the wave is rounded out by Elektra, as well as comic versions of Blade and Bullseye. As an added surprise, there’s a Build A Figure in the form of Man-Thing. That character means nothing to me, but I’ll be buying the whole wave, so someone give me a shout if you wanna buy Man-Thing off me. That’s right, I’m offering my Man-Thing in exchange for money. I think that might be illegal…

Song of the Week

This week’s song is Morgan Wallen’s “The Way I Talk”, mainly because I completely identify with it. If you’ve ever spoken with me, the first question people tend to ask is “Where are you from? You sound SOUTHERN!” Also, I spent more time than I’d like to admit trying to figure out if that actually was a sample from Spacehog’s “In The Meantime” at the beginning (verdict: inconclusive).

Things You Might Have Missed This Week

CMT is seriously considering reviving Tim Allen’s canceled ABC sitcom, Last Man Standing. They already air the reruns, so it seems like a natural fit.

An Injustice 2 eSports tournament will air on TBS in October. We’re really trying to make “eSports” a thing, huh?

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt has been renewed for a 4th season at Netflix. One of these days I’ll finally finish seasons 2 and 3…

Aisha Tyler announced yesterday that she will be leaving The Talk at the end of the season, due to her current commitments on Criminal Minds, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, and Archer. Plus, she’ll be directing an upcoming film. Yeah, that’s probably enough jobs for one person.

Someone named Anthony Padilla is leaving something called Smosh. Apparently it’s a thing on the YouTubes. If you’ve got a tween, they can probably explain whatever this means.

In an update to something I mentioned last week, Sony has revised their plans to sell clean versions of their movies. Since it was found that the plan violated union contracts, now Sony will only offer clean versions of movies that have been approved by the director.

ABC has renewed “Toy Shark Tank”, AKA The Toy Box, for a second season.

I took a trip down memory lane to talk about the old Toy Biz Customer Service hotline.

In a baffling move, Amazon is buying Whole Foods Market for $13.7 billion. I haven’t been as confused about a business deal since K-Mart bought Sears.

When I first started West Week Ever, I came up with a No Death Policy. Even though I get kinda negative on here, I still want it to be a positive place. I have a bit of an odd history with death, as I became acquainted with it at an early age, so I like to stay away from all that. Plus, there’s that problem where if you mention one death, you’ve gotta mention ALL the deaths, and ain’t nobody got time for that – especially if that death didn’t really mean anything to me. Still, when I created this feature, I always knew there would be at least 2 important exceptions. I wasn’t looking forward to them, but given their age and health, I knew it would be something I’d have to tackle eventually. Sadly, one of those deaths occurred last Saturday.

When I was growing up, there were few things I looked forward to as much as the 1966 Batman series, weekday afternoons on Fox 5. While I’d gotten the Super Powers Batman and Batmobile toys when I was around 4, I really didn’t know anything about Batman until I was introduced to that show. Hell, I remember how I used to think Batman could fly. I mean, he had a cape! All people with capes fly, right? Anyway, like any kid, I was mesmerized by the POW! ZAP! BIFF! of the fight sequences. I was on the edge of my seat for the end of episode cliffhanger. I’d tie a sheet around my neck, and shadow box along with the Dynamic Duo as they fought King Tut’s goons. I also had a next door neighbor, Brian, who was a few years younger than me (he was 7 when I was 11, as I remember him thinking that was cool), and he worshipped the ground I walked on. He’d come over, and we’d be Batman and Robin, fighting invisible goons with gadgets I’d made from Construx and jump ropes. My concept of Batman was formed by Adam West and Burt Ward, walking up the side of buildings with their Bat Ropes.

As I grew up, I was introduced to other depictions of the Caped Crusader. I started reading comics in ’92, around the time that the classic Batman: The Animated Series debuted. Those versions of Batman were totally different than what I’d grown up knowing. The environment wasn’t as campy, the world was a darker place, and Batman wasn’t doing the Batusi. Over the years, I’ve had even more versions of Batman that I’ve compared to West’s rendition, but I’ve come to appreciate him even more. While the world around him was wacky, West’s Bruce Wayne/Batman was solid. He was smart, calculating, and always knew more than the folks around him. Can you imagine a “Tower of Babel” storyline (the classic JLA story where Batman takes down the rest of the Justice League using contingency plans he’d set up for all of them), starring West’s Batman? I can, and it would be AMAZING.

It seems life wasn’t too shabby for West offscreen, either. According to several stories, he was quite the hit with the ladies, and even had an 8-woman orgy with Riddler Frank Gorshin. ZOWIE! While he never really achieved mega success with anything else, he still established himself as a cult superstar, with his turn in Conan O’Brien’s failed pilot Lookwell, as well as his role as Mayor West on Family Guy, which introduced him to a new generation of fans. Other actors who portrayed Batman went on to other things. For Clooney, Kilmer, and Bale, the role is just another notch on the IMDB profile, but West WAS Batman. With the exception of probably Kevin Conroy, no one else has been so closely identified with the role as Adam West. At the end of the day, he’s the Batman that I always come back to, and the one to which I compare all newcomers. Adam West, born William West Anderson (hey, look at that!), was MY Batman and I think we were all lucky to have him. No, he didn’t have the West Week Ever. I don’t think that’s enough of an honor to indicate what he meant to me. So, with that in mind, Adam West is the inaugural inductee to the West Week Ever Hall of Fame. Farewell, old chum.

#Batman #Comics #Country #Marvel #Movies #Music #Pop #Race #Television #Toys #Video Games #West Week Ever #West Week Ever Hall of Fame #X-Men

[survivor-socotra]

RITES OF PASSAGE || JURY

Augusto

You know, I had a pretty wild story this season. At the beginning, it seemed less like “Battle of the Seasons” and more like Battle Against My Season... and that was hard to deal with because I love and miss my Great Lakers! That being said, being able to survive as the only person from that tribe from final 21 to the final 12 was something I never imagined myself doing. To add to that, fate was what got me out and that’s kinda poetic. All in all, I loved this experience for all it was worth and especially my fellow players who allowed me to get as far as I did

Connor 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mJXhEeWhI4

Katie

Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?

Zach

i love u so much. You were one of my favourite people and i actually was devastated because i was looking forward to playing this game with you, and i’m sorry that my indecisiveness ended your game ASKGLDSGS. We had so many fun moments and considering u were lonely without any of your tribe so for long is a testament to how good u are at this game!! Hope to talk to u after this game x

Ryan

AHHH KING! You and Sam were the people I really wanted to work with the most in this game. Losing you to rocks was so fucking terrible and I can’t believe that is how it ended for you.

Samantha

This game was pretty awesome. I’m always ready to come back for anything related to Tonga. I definitely stumbled my through this entire game but I enjoyed about 80% of it.

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtO6AQ9SI70

Katie

"Hey Tara you want some?" "This b*%th empty. YEET!"

Zach

we didn’t really get the chance to talk much because of tribal lines and just being on different sides, but you are such a sweet person and i have enjoyed our talks!! I hope life is going well, and i wish we could’ve had more of a chance to work together <3

Ryan

QUEEN! God I really wanted to stick with you and Augusto late into this game. I was so confused when they voted you out. We lived through the destruction of our alliance after Adam left because of that snake Michael. Honestly though you’re so fucking good and such an icon that losing you early meant someone else could actually win

Tyler

had a hoot of a time, tragic that i didnt get more time to be a dramatic bitch but what can you do! Thanks everyone for being so fun and the hosts for being grand!

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kT3OQwyvKmk

Katie

What the fuck, is this allowed?, what the fuck is that allowed?!

Zach

i am so sorry that i got crazy (like always) but i just wanna say that you are such a pleasure to talk to and i love u so much. We played a lot of this game together but i just felt like you were too threatenin for my game moving forward and i 100% assume if you did not leave that vote, you would’ve made final five easily. Nonetheless, it was great gettin to play with you again, and you are a brilliant player. Nothin but love n respect x

Ryan

Ahhhhh the flirt of the season. Our conversations were always at least a little interesting. You would have been a killer social threat at the end of the game and you needed to go. Also the first Kuang Si to go, so like, icon.

Ian

My premerge game vs my merge game:

I had a good time playing with you all and my downfall was my arrogance and looking to far ahead while not paying attention to the current round enough. I threw away my idol because I was confident I could win without advantages,  I was obviously wrong! Good game all, Battle of the Seasons was a blast!

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHLHSlExFis

Katie

My favorite screamo band is probably Big Time Rush.

Zach

ian, my man. Ew i said man aJSGDSGK. You know that you are one of my best pals in this community and that i love u with all my heart and enjoy playing with you. You are such a phenomenal player, with a great sense of humour and honestly you’re just so easy to talk to. I made you a promise the day before your vote off that the only way i’m writing your name down was to win, and i stuck to that. Losing u was so sad, though could’ve been good for my game to SOME degree, it was so sucky cause i was wanting to go to the end with you. It was,,, devastating. I’m sorry that happened, i hope we talk when this game is over, and most importantly of all; he has class, he give sass, but most importantly he scream at own ass

Ryan

Hello friend. We didn’t get to talk a lot, and the way merged played out meant that we didn’t really work together either...i would have been into a you/me/sam alliance but then you took her out and i couldnt let you take out my queen like that

Michael

Tumblr Survivor: Socotra was unlike anything else i've done, i enjoyed every second of it. Coming in to it i had resigned myself to the fact i could be an early out but i made it 2/3 of the way through and 8/24 and half bad, i may not have won again but i'm finally on jury duty and i had fun i really couldn't have asked for a better outcome

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3K0RzZGpyds

Katie

So you just gonna bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my

Zach

u are such a blast to play with because each game is such a different experience. In LV, we weren’t the greatest allies and u wanted me DEAD. in this game we were on the same side and it was such a joy talking to you. Though there might be bitterness because of my craziness and ultimately me leading to the demise of our entire side, i hope you know that it was all for game and that i still hope we remain friends once over x love u lots michael

Ryan

AHHHHHHH i love this man. Honestly I have so much respect for you. Games aren’t fun unless you have an enemy and you were a really fun one to have. You made it difficult for me to get where I got in the game so thank you lmfao

Devon

This game was fun and I really had a fun time with my time omg he game. With a cast as huge as this to get 7th was something I was not expecting. I did a lot of things outside my comfort zone and I have no regrets. This will be a game I remember for a long time.

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ga94wVeFBac

Katie

It's a avocadooo...thanks

Zach

honestly it is shocking (in a good way) that we went from lackin convos in kuang si to being non messy kweens who flipped every other round AJSGKDSG. You are such a genuine person and i enjoyed gettin to know u even more and everything. You were a frontrunner to win this game, and though i had like 0 influence over your vote, i think it was somethin that had to be done in order to give me my best shot of winning. But, thank you for makin this experience so much more enjoyable. Ur a lovely person xo

Ryan

Ahhhhh my dad! What a strategic fucking threat huh. Thank you for flipping on your alliance twice. Also grad school is fucking hard and i hate it

Jessica

My biggest move in the game was making an alliance based on salsa preferences and it lasted until the f6. My worst move in the game was caring for 1 second because once I put in more than 50% effort I went home. This just shows kids: never try at anything it’s always a mistake

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjuftKz5ebU

Katie

I love you bitch ... I aint never gonna stop loving you ... bitch

Zach

jessica omg. We started talkin so early in this game and i felt like our connection was my favourite of my new connections and i just enjoyed your presence so ducking much. We’d call so much and just laugh and be on the same page about everything and it was honestly a big help in this game both strategically and mentally. U know how much i appreciate you and respect you as a person/player, and i hope we get to continue our friendship outside the game because i do love u sm. Im sorry about voting u. I thought, on paper, that you were the only person who could probably easily beat me. I might still lose like against anyone ASKGDSG iconic.. But as i said, that was on paper, and i also know that if u had to leave, i wanted it to be iconic n fun, and that’s why i pushed for u to leave w oakleys idol. pls still eat medium salsa ):

Ryan

Here is a link to your favorite song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJebcTXdu7o

Oakley

My second go around I wanted to prove to myself that I could play more rationally and prove that I had more fight and passion to win. And I do know I accomplished both of those goals because I was targeted to leave a lot of the game and I kept fighting to stay alive and made finale in a 24 person season. I couldn't be more proud of what I achieved in this game.

Connor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRhOJe_7kuI

Katie

"I brought you Frankincense" "Thank you" "I brought you Myrrh" "Thank you" "Mur-dur" "huh...Judas..no"

Zach

OAKLEY. CHOAKLEY? Either or. I love u and we became such a fun duo after ian’s vote and i played this game closely with you since very early on, despite voting differently sometimes… it was so fun callin u like every 2 days just to be like ‘this game sucks’, ‘we’re gonn have fun on jury’, ‘did u call me a rAT????’ ASGKDSGLDS. Ugh, i love u and im glad to have finally played with you after havin a great time hostin u in mykonos. Losin u at f5 was honestly sad because i was with a trio who hated fem gays ): loves u

Ryan

AHHHH MY DYNAMIC DUO! You played a hell of a fucking game and I am so glad I made a friend in you this game. I remember hearing rumors about how good you were at this game and i really saw it with my own two eyes this time around. Never stop being a unicorn. <3

#fearkeepsyousharp